#and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dazzelmethat · 3 months ago

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Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.

Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).

#my art #my ocs #ft the irises #tw suicide #tw ableism #sh e the yello one. can you tell she's thematically yellow?#as i don't care about 'spoilers' anymore because i'm doubtful i'll ever get to finish my writing stuff i'll just dump my writing hangup her #i think she's probably about 18 here (physically)#beware the in the tags plot includes suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope)#Bud's voice specifically is tricky.. as Vera (the ghost) left her body (bud) when she was 10.#And vera took all knowledge (memories and words and thoughts) with her when she left.#and bud had to start mentally from scratch after rising from the dead. thus being interpreted as a 'zombie' sort of monster #Vera hatess Bud as hate of the self/ hate of the physical/ hate of the unintelligent (vera is in the wrong here. but she's complicated)#((lol can you tell why vera named herself that haha))#i want her to prompt characters/people to reininvestigate how they think of 'brainless zombie' tropes in relation to ableism but--#but i am doubtful of my writing ability and should probably change what i have going on to something less risky #originally when i was 12 and i first made them all bud was purely a chaotic antagonist. and i have def moved past that #12 yr old me expressing my suicidal idealization by having Vera absolutely hate her old body #and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away #but now that i'm past that all.. i need to make bud a character that can actually take up just as much importance as the other 3 irises #do i have the writing skills to do that? who knows.. Bud isn't even a 'main character' the way vera is. should i still try?#even if i never wind up trying and this conundrum stops me forever.. at least these blorbos can live in my head u_u #might delete the tag rant later if i feel self conscious enough about it :/#shrugs profusely #any suggestions are welcome. join me in untangling this gordion knot if u want ashdfhasdfjldf

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