#throne of glass negative

[hatereadings]

Throne of Glass

So I first found out about this series because these ACoTaR recaps I was reading mentioned that Sarah J Maas had a previous fantasy series that came out, and the protagonist was an assassin who didn't even kill anyone in the first book. You can check out the recaps here, if you're interested in other people's hate-reads.

The author of those recaps was so appalled by ACoTaR that she's probably never going to read another SJM book, which means that the burden of recapping them has sadly fallen to... well, people who enjoyed the recaps in general, but I think I'm the only one actually willing to do this to myself.

So, here goes! I'm going to start with Throne of Glass, because it was published first, but actually mainly because it's the most readily available at my library (If I have to return it, I might switch to The Assassin's Blade for a bit).

The dedication page is

To all my readers from FictionPress--for being with me at the beginning and staying long after the end. Thank you for everything.

This honestly made me curious enough to look things up, and, whaddya know, this book was originally a story on FictionPress! In 2012, peak fandom, so... credit where it's due, clearly some of us who were on FictionPress back then felt catered to.

That reminds me - I know these books are intended for teenage girls, and I'm going to do my best to respect that and view them from that lens. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that audience or what they need or want to be reading at that time in their lives.

That said, even WITH that caveat, there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about, so buckle up.

Chapter 1

RIGHT AWAY, I have issues with the worldbuilding.

After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier, Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword-point. Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment--though an extra half-dozen guards always walked Celaena to and from the mines.

How on EARTH is this economical?! If someone is genuinely SO DANGEROUS that they need SIX GUARDS to accompany them everywhere -- how does it make ANY sense to put them to work in a mine?!?!?!

I'm going to ignore the fact that a white author is writing about slavery, because... it was 2012; a lot of us are guilty of Spartacus fanfic. We know better now, is the important part.

That was to be expected by Adarlan's most notorious assassin.

Okay. Some people have pointed out in the past that it doesn't make sense for assassins to be famous. I think that's something that's safe to gloss over in this sort of YA, though. I mean, what teenage girl hasn't wanted to be some kind of universally feared physical badass, whether that's an assassin or a mercenary or a serial killer? It's fine.

Still, if she's really so dangerous and such a Big Deal, then... again, why is she in the mines??? Why isn't she in an impenetrable cell somewhere??? You're literally paying SIX EXTRA full-time workers just to stand around watching her when they could be used to do, idk, anything else? Guarding the royal family, guarding the treasury, going to war against your enemies? This is like... Kingsguard level of security. Not something you'd want to spend on a prisoner.

There's a "hooded man in black" walking next to her. Does this sound like an executioner, or is that just me?

Apparently they take an unnecessarily circuitous route, going around and around in circles because the guy in charge... idk, wants to disorient Celaena? Even though she's been living there for a year? I really hope the people guarding her are supposed to be idiots, so she can seem like a badass genius in comparison; if this is the level of intelligence we're working with throughout the book, I don't know what's going to sustain me through this read.

The guy in the hood apparently introduced himself as Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard, and she overheard that when she first saw him. Which might've been nice to include when we, the readers, first see him, but whatever. Apparently he's hiding his face from her to try and intimidate her, which has "five-year-old-boy-tries-to-scare-you-by-donning-a-frankenstein-mask" energy.

Celaena doesn't know why he's come to get her. She notices that her clothes are nearly rags and that her skin is dirty, and reflects that she used to be beautiful. Again, this feels more like YA convention than an actual, realistic response someone would have to being forced to mine salt for a year. Like, I can get having that response to suddenly seeing a bunch of non-miners and feeling the contrast between their clean clothes and your filthy rags, but having that just pop up idly while you're walking around your prison? It's a very hamfisted way of trying to stick in a bit of physical description at the beginning. And we get a full physical description later on, so why even bother?

"You're a long way from Rifthold, Captain," she said, clearing her throat. "Did you come with the army I heard thumping around earlier?" She peered into the darkness beneath his hood but saw nothing. Still, she felt his eyes upon her face, judging, weighing, testing. She stared right back. The Captain of the Royal Guard would be an interesting opponent. Maybe even worthy of some effort on her part.

Personally I would have added a line break after that quote, but that might just be a stylistic choice. I don't really have any bones to pick with the writing here; it seems like this is serving the wish fulfillment that a lot of the target audience really wants - a protagonist so deadly that no one is any match for them. Maybe for a more jaded audience, they'd think, "Mary Sue," and toss the book aside, but we embrace earnest enthusiasm here.

Oh, it'd be nice to see his blood spill across the marble.

Please don't tease. I know there isn't going to be any murder in this book. I can't take the false hope.

She'd lost her temper once before--once, when her first overseer chose the wrong day to push her too hard. She still remembered the feeling of embedding the pickax into his gut, and the stickiness of his blood on her hands and face. She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat. Would the captain fare better than her late overseer? Contemplating the potential outcomes, she grinned at him again. "Don't you look at me like that," he warned, and his hand drifted back toward his sword.

Okay, offscreen kill, but maybe I should try to be content with these crumbs.

They passed a series of wooden doors that she'd seen a few minutes ago. If she wanted to escape, she simply had to turn left at the next hallway and take the stairs down three flights. The only thing all the intended disorientation had accomplished was to familiarize her with the building. Idiots.

Celaena gets annoyed when Chaol won't talk to her, which is... kind of dumb? I mean, did you expect him to? You guys are enemies. Just keep up a one-sided banter like a normal prisoner and stop complaining.

She contemplates escape some more, then decides that it'd be too much trouble, so she'll wait. It's very convenient that all the guards are idiots; they've been walking so long that Celaena has the opportunity to infodump some worldbuilding on us. We learn that the kingdom they're in is called Adarlan, and it sends poor people, criminals, and "latest conquests" into the salt mines of Endovier, which looks something like the jail in Les Mis, with misery and whips cracking and all the stereotypical nonsense. Again, this is from over a decade ago; this shit would not fly today. That's not how you handle a discussion of slavery in this country.

Adarlan has banned magic, and anyone accused of practicing gets sent to Endovier.

Eyllwe is apparently a country that's at war with Adarlan, still resisting its rule, and any captured Eyllwe folks also get sent to Endovier. Okay, so... I know Rome did this too, but this is sounding less like Rome and more like Nazi Germany, with the work camps for prisoners. Maas is apparently of Jewish descent, so I'm not going to weigh in on whether that's a problem.

Celaena mentions that she was "betrayed and captured" one night and sent to this place, and then pivots to thinking about whether she's finally going to be executed. I mean, it would make sense; those 6 guards' paychecks have probably cost the crown a tidy amount over the past year.

At last, they stopped before a set of red-and-gold glass doors so thick that she couldn't see through them.

That is a ridiculously fancy door for a mine. Why.

They try to pull Celaena through, she's convinced they're here to kill her and resists, but they pull her in anyway. Uhhhh... what happened to

She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat.

?

I remember the inconsistency in ACoTaR. Wasn't expecting it to show up so early here, though.

A glass chandelier shaped like a grapevine occupied most of the ceiling, spitting seeds of diamond fire onto the windows along the far side of the room.

Okay, that's actually a really pretty description. I'd go as far as to say that 'spitting seeds of diamond fire' is genuinely a good turn of phrase. That said...

WHY IS THIS IN A SALT MINE?!?!?!?!

Compared to the bleakness outside those windows, the opulence felt like a slap to the face. A reminder of how much they profited from her labor.

Ah. For symbolism.

In case you were wondering, no, that's not a good enough reason. It makes no sense with the worldbuilding. Why on earth would ANYONE choose to build something so fancy here. Nobody just spends their time thinking, "I'm feeling very evil today. What exceptionally evil project can I spend a great deal of money on to show off just how evil I am? I know! I'll build an opulent room next to a slave pit!"

Also? Nobody is profiting from your labor, Celaena. I don't know how much salt costs, but every day you work costs your overseers a day's wages for each of SIX GUARDS. I don't think there's much profit being turned here.

The captain shoves her in, there's more guards, and then

On an ornate redwood throne sat a handsome young man. Her heart stopped as everyone bowed.

Ah. The love interest.

She was standing in front of the Crown Prince of Adarlan.

And that's the chapter hook!

Two questions:

How did they get the throne in there? I can't tell if it's more ridiculous if they literally had to build a new fancy room with a throne when they heard the prince was coming, or if the prince's entourage carries a giant throne with him wherever he goes so he can sit in it, OR if every single building in Adarlan has to have a Throne Room of sufficient grandeur just in case the Crown Prince decides to stop by. There's just no good explanation for this. (Although from a different perspective, there are only good explanations for this)

We literally just heard an infodump about how Adarlan is a toxic power. Are they really trying to make it believable that one of the leaders of this country is a decent enough dude to be a love interest?

So far, this feels like even more of a mess than ACoTaR was. I'm curious to know if that gets any better over the course of this book, or if it's somehow all downhill from here.

(next chapter)

[grace-reviews-books]

perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but i'm not actually a huge fan of the throne of glass series, for many reasons. however two of them are because 1) all the characters got paired up in the end which was just wildly unrealistic and unnecessary and 2) the author resolved not one, not two, but THREE relationship conflicts through near death experiences

Just because a character nearly dies doesn't mean that suddenly those conflicts are no longer important! those problems don't just go away! long story short, i was real grouchy about it.

[galaxyofstars]

'sjm is a romantasy author and it's not that serious. it's meant to be fun" for you. i started tog when romantasy was not a genre. i remember waiting for QoS to come out. i went and bought it at the bookstore the week it was released. it was just another ya series (that i was obsessed with and loved). i witnessed the degradation of her writing after HoF. it felt like a betrayal. i started reading her when i was a lot younger, and followed her series for years. it's too late the obsession was already created. the betrayal was personal (sjm has no idea i exist). so no i will not get over it let me have my fun.

like. look. i love the concepts and ideas and blueprints for the characters. they're fun and you can have a good time reading them. i hated chaol and still read CoM and ToD. i hated rowaelin and still enjoyed the series. just when the quality is at the point where it feels almost insulting that she published it and expected people to pay money for it it pisses me off a little.

[pergaminaa]

Modern au:

So Dorian has this chair, which he has grown to hate.

It's a very comfortable spacious chair. It reclines with a press of a button and has many uses: for work, reading, sex, relaxation, and a lot more.

At nights when he's busy with dinner and Manon is finishing up work, she sometimes uses the chair. (un)fortunately, because she's oh-so exhausted and still tries to squeeze in work, she ends up falling asleep.

This is where Dorian is torn. On one hand, he wants her to rest and if she's sleeping then that's good. On the other hand, he doesn't want her to go to sleep without food. Also, he doesn't want her to sleep there, no matter how big and comfy the chair is. But also, Manon is a light sleeper and she will wake up if he carries her to bed which might disrupt her sleep later at night.

Decisions decisions, he eventually settles on waking her, because it is still early and if she goes to sleep now she will be awake by two or three in the morning which is not good. He can push their bedtime an hour or two later than usual which is a better solution.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

How do you avoid fan favorite character syndrome that takes over the narrative? I’ve seen it even appear in mainstream media

The writers seem to have one particular character which is obviously the writer’s darling and they get most of the screen time and development.

It wouldn’t be a problem if other character were treated with as complexity and care by narrative. Yet the other characters very obviously aren’t allowed to show as much depth, flaws and versatility as they one character.

I don’t know if I’m being clear enough or if you know what I’m referring to.

I think I get what you mean!

So I think it's definitely a question of moderation. You need to make sure that the rest of the story matters, and that it's not being constructed around this single character. If the other characters aren't as interesting, make them interesting you are the writer! Make them blorbos! You have that power! But additionally, I think allowing stories to develop organically is actually very important. I think that's where you get the most interesting plot and character developments, and where you can most successfully emotionally impact, surprise, and engage your readers. That's when stories feel the most exciting, and most dangerous because it's like anything can happen and it's not actually predetermined from the very first page! So if you have a character that you love, who is dragging the story in a different direction, then it may be worth going back to the drawing board and considering the pros and cons. Would your story be better if you did lean into these ideas? Would it be more interesting? If yes, then go for it! There's no rule that you are only allowed to have a certain amount of fun, and anything above that limit is illegal. You just have to make sure you're not leaving the rest of the plot and characters in the dust to do it. New plot hooks and and arcs as a result of unexpected inspiration from a character you connected to more than you thought you would is a good thing! Follow that! Just also adjust everything else around the character so it's not flattened and only existing to show them off

[sunfl0w3rmoon]

Friend: “The stag made me think of throne of glass.”

Me: “Not James Potter? That’s who I think of when I see a stag.”

Friend: “Lame.”

Me: “LAME?? Did you just call James Potter LAME?”

Friend: “Haha, I’m just saying mine is better.”

Me: “Throne of Glass is NOT better than James Potter.”

[icallhimjoey]

https://www.tumblr.com/icallhimjoey/769345688851103744/i-asked-for-pyjama-vibe-joe-and-forgot-about-his

Ohhh can we get a soft pyjama and glasses Joey? Like him wearing the combo for the first time because it’s a new relationship and we looooove it. Or us stealing the shirt after freaky time. Or idek! The possibilities!

soft pyjama and glasses joey, at your service Wordcount: 2.1K

---

Not A Wink

“Wait, can you… wait here. Wait, no. Just. Yea… wait here and, also, um... yea, maybe... maybe close your eyes a second…” you pushed Joe away from your closed bedroom door, two hands to his chest.

Joe took hold of both of them as he laughed, easily letting you push him back, stepping backwards down the hall.

“What are you hiding in there that I can’t see?”

You were having a hard time hiding your own smile.

“No, nothing, I just… I’ve got to just check something, quickly. Just in case. Wait here.”

You were the cutest girl he’d ever met. Joe couldn’t quite believe he was allowed into the home of the cutest girl he’d ever met.

“Close your eyes.” You insisted, and Joe couldn’t help laugh more, his arms stretching as you walked back to your bedroom, touching until you were out of reach.

“I can’t see anything from here!”

“Close your eyes!”

Joe gave you a deadpan stare, shoulders dropping, but joy never leaving his face. When you waited by the door, hand on the handle, and looked at him in silence for a moment, he rolled his eyes and finally complied.

“It’ll just be a second,” you said, your smile evident in your voice.

Joe heard a door open, then soft footsteps, some light shuffling, and then silence. He wondered if he was going to be able to tell what needed a last minute wipe down. As if he was going to care about a crease in your bedsheets. You should see his bedroom…

“Okay, ready. You can open your eyes.”

Joe’d been a good boy and had really kept his eyes closed. When he opened them, it was to you stood in your doorway, both hands behind your back, biting down on your bottom lip as you smiled.

Cutest girl in the world.

“Yea? Am I allowed in?”

Joe got to see your bedroom exactly as you wanted it to look every day, but how you never managed to leave it. With everything in its place, no dirty laundry on the floor, no clothes on the clothes-chair, no half-empty mugs on the bedside table and, most importantly, the bed made.

You never made your bed. You’d do it once when you changed the sheets, and then left a rumpled mess behind when you rushed out of bed after sleeping through your alarm each morning.

“Wow,” Joe said, overdoing it a tad, just to fuck with you. “This looks like a hotel room.”

It didn’t. Not really.

“Thanks.” You smiled, ignoring his humorous tone and taking the compliment as if he’d really meant it. When you looked at him, you saw how his gaze had landed on where you slept in your bed. He pointed a finger as he raised his eyebrows.

“Is this from where you send me voice notes every night?” Joe took a step forward, his eyes on you as his index finger still pointed at your pillow.

You nodded, teeth digging into your lip. It was impossible to lose your smile.

“This is…” Joe started, looking at your bed for a moment, scanning the sheets and trying to picture you in that spot. No make-up, pyjamas on. Face in your pillow, phone in hand. In a short while, he wasn’t going to have to imagine that anymore. “This is sort of strange, isn’t it?” Joe mused, turning his face to see you stood in your doorway still.

“Why?” you asked, watching on as Joe sat down on top of the covers, acting like he just took a seat on a throne which made you giggle. “You’re making it strange.”

“It’s like I’m visiting a famous landmark.”

You grinned as you watched him sensibly bounce on your mattress a couple of times, getting a feel for it.

“It is like visiting a famous landmark.” You joked, and then quickly added. “Don’t leave a Google review though, I move around a lot in my sleep and I couldn’t bear the negative feedback.”

Joe laughed as he got back up, couldn’t help his arms reaching out to grab hold of you as your face beamed with pride at making Joe laugh like that. You bit your lips so hard, you nearly drew blood.

For a moment you just stood like that. Close. Holding each other, faces just inches removed, twin smiles about to burst. You weren’t going to get a wink of sleep this night.

“Did you um,” you cast your eyes down to his button-down shirt. To his jeans. “Did you bring a more comfortable outfit?”

Joe raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking if I brought my pyjamas?”

“Were you planning on watching a film in jeans?”

Ha, he thought. A film. If he’d got the chance, he’d be watching you more than he’d be watching any film this evening. His eyes tended to stick to you with too much ease.

Like right now.

“Or is this a no-bottoms sort of evening?” you challenged light-heartedly.

Joe’s eyes scanned your face a moment as he grinned.

“I brought pyjamas.” He then said, leaning down a little in hopes of sneaking a kiss.

You let him sneak one without any fuss. Warm lips of a warm smile to warm lips of a warm smile.

“In your overnight bag?” you teased, having made a big deal of the backpack he’d walked in with earlier, before dinner.

“In my overnight bag.” Joe didn’t mind how the simple fact that he brought some things over was somehow entertainment he was providing you with. It was either that, or the bad puns he’d make, and a giggle at a pair of soft pyajama bottoms didn’t feel quite as embarrassing as an awkward joke would likely make him feel.

Joe was told to change whilst you made your way into the bathroom to take your make-up off.

You felt real butterflies about the prospect of having Joe over properly for the first time ever. This was the first time you had made plans that extended to the next morning. This was going to be more than just some raunchy touching in your living room before he’d leave just before or just after midnight to go sleep in his own bed.

You were going to be wearing pyjamas around each other.

Brush your teeth in your bathroom before you’d crawl into bed together.

Prepare and have breakfast in your kitchen the next morning.

You swiped a cotton round over your eyes and heard Joe move around in your flat. Just him existing on his own in your space made your stomach flip. Halfway through your facial cleanse, Joe suddenly appeared behind you, and for a moment, you smiled at each other in the mirror. He was still in his button down, but his jeans had been replaced with a pair of faded black joggers. For a moment you thought maybe he had a question about something, but before you could even ask, he stepped forward and casually placed a dark blue toiletry bag next to the sink.

So domestic.

You refrained from opening it and having a peek inside as you finished up in the bathroom, hair tied up, face clean and bare. You made your way back to your bedroom to change into your own pyjamas and found evidence of Joe left behind. His charger in the socket on the side of the bed where he’d be sleeping. His backpack to the side. His clothes semi folded in a messy pile on the dresser.

Looking at all of Joe’s things in your bedroom with the background noise of him pottering about in your kitchen made you smile so much, you wondered when your cheeks were going to grow sore.

So domestic.

“What do you want to drink?” he called across your flat, and earlier, when Joe had offered you a drink in your own home, it had solely been to make you laugh. This time, it didn’t feel so much like a joke as it felt like he genuinely wanted to do something nice for you. Get you a drink so you wouldn’t have to get it yourself. A simple sweet gesture that probably wasn’t meant to make you feel the way it did.

There were so many things about the beginnings of a new relationship that you didn’t like.

The risk of letting a new person into your life wasn’t lost on you. Letting someone in too quick, too soon. Revealing too much of yourself too quick, too soon. The vulnerability that opened you up to the possiblity to get hurt...

Scary stuff.

But the excitement of it all? The constant uncontrollable smile you couldn’t seem to wipe off your face. The butterflies wreaking havoc inside of your stomach. Giggly breathlessness that turned nerves into excitement. The way all of it could make you feel lightheaded in the good way?

Fucking gold.

With your body in a soft cosy outfit, you found Joe in your kitchen wearing an outfit not unlike your own. For a fraction of a second, the nervous thought of Joe getting to see you in your factory settings crossed your mind.

But then you saw his glasses.

Joe hadn’t yet worn his glasses in front of you, and stood here in your living area now, in a cream-coloured cotton long-sleeved shirt, you couldn’t help the way that made your eyebrows pinch together.

How could a man look sexy and adorable at the same time?

“Glass of–... uh oh,” Joe turned around holding up a freshly opened bottle of wine, but stopped mid-sentece when he saw your expression. “Sorry, was I not meant to–”

“No, no!” you cut him off, and tried your very best to keep the laugh that bubbled up inside. “No, that’s– yes. Yes. That’s fine, yea. I would love a glass, thanks.”

Joe frowned a little in confusion, eyes narrowing, but his smile unwavering.

“It’s just,” you hestitated telling him. Thought maybe he wouldn’t appreciate what you considered to be a genuine compliment.

“Just... a bottle of wine that you were saving for a special occassion that I wasn’t meant to open?” Joe made a face, and it was becoming a little bit embarrassing at how easily he had you in stitches. “Or what?”

“No,” you laughed, and Joe couldn’t help the slight muddled huff of laughter that escaped his nose. This really wasn’t helping the cute allegations. “No, it’s just that,” you tried again, grabbing two glasses from a cabinet and placing them down in front of Joe. “You look...”

Before you finished that sentence, you let your eyes dance over him. The flash of selfconsiousness across his face only endeared him more to you.

“A mess?”

“Cute.”

You weren’t sure what kind of reaction you were expecting, but you definitely didn’t think the comment was going to make Joe blush so fiercely. Hadn’t anticipated him turning slightly shy as he put the bottle down, dropped his head to his shoulder as he squeezed his eyes shut whilst an arm reached to pull you in.

“Sorry,” you said through a giggle as you got trapped into a tight hug.

“Stealing my compliments now, are we?”

“I think it’s the glasses,” you gladly accepted the firmly pressed kisses to the top of your head.

“You think?” Joe pulled back a little and adjusted them on his nose as he looked at you through the lenses.

“Yea, I do.” You smiled, peering up at him, hoping that if you smiled and looked at his lips for long enough, he’d get the hint.

He did get the hint, but didn’t give you what you were asking for before he got both his hands on your face, both thumbs on your cheeks, both pinkies hooking your jaw.

“Guess I’ll keep them on then.” Joe managed to say through a kiss, and he said it like he’d be doing you a favour.

Which, he would be, actually. But he was joking, so you laughed against his mouth, and the giggle made Joe want to eat you alive. Swallow you whole. Squeeze your bodies together until they weren’t able to ever unstick again.

There was an open bottle of wine on the counter next to you, a TV waiting for someone to press play on its remote, and a bed eager for two bodies to occupy it all the way until the morning.

But Joe was kissing a cute girl in her kitchen, glasses bumping into her nose, and felt no rush to move out of the hold you had on him.

Cutest girl in the world.

Yea, he wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep this night.

---

The Taglist

@almightywdm, @alwayslindie, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @dailyobsession

@eddies-puppet, @elvendria, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee

@ferfan14, @figmentofquinn, @gri959, @hazelenys, @joesquinns

@keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @loves0phelia, @mandyjo8719

@munsonluvrr, @munsonssweets, @nadixq, @niallersfreckles, @notverywise

@overthinking-raccoon, @pepperstories, @pinchofhoney, @readergf, @royale1803

@sherrylyn0628, @shizlac, @solzi1420, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47

@take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @witchwolflea

@xxladymjxx, @yunirgo

Add yourself

[hecate-editing]

Making Characters That Make Sense

Walk-through character template & "how to" guide for writing complex, original protagonists.

If you google "character templates for writing", you'll get a lot of very basic examples that read like a grocery list: eye colour, hair colour, skin colour, positive traits, negative traits, etc.

And sure, filling out this kind of template isn't completely useless - but it's also not particularly useful, either. Choosing whether your protagonist has blue eyes or green eyes isn't going to determine whether readers connect with them or not.

Instead, I prefer to use the below template:

There's some fairly left-of-centre categories here, so in this blog post I'll be creating a character from scratch to demonstrate what each section means and how to use the template effectively.

Primary Goal & Raison D'Être

Fantasy Romance is having a bit of a tournament-to-the-death moment right now, with Hunger Games-inspired stories like Fourth Wing, Throne of Glass, The Savior's Champion, and The Serpent and the Wings of Night in high demand - so that's what we're going to work with in today's blog post.

The story premise and primary goal of the protagonist are almost always interconnected. In this case, the story premise is a tournament to the death - and the character's main goal is to win that tournament, obviously.

But where there's room for some originality is in the raison d'être. This loosely translates to "reason for being" or "purpose". It's the why of it.

For example: what motivated this character to risk their life by entering such a tournament in the first place?

It is sometimes helpful to look at similar stories when thinking about this category. Not so you can copy their protagonist's motivations - but so you can do something different.

The whole selfless-self-sacrifice thing, for example - that's done. At least in relation to this particular sub-genre. We can do better for our hypothetical Maera Mystfang character.

Actually, let's really turn the trope on its head and make her raison d'être incredibly self-centred.

Already, this is character is shaping up to be something a little bit different within the niche of tournaments to the death. Which goes to show how putting a little bit of thought can go a long way, even with something as simple as identifying your character's initial purpose.

Primary Obstacle

Every protagonist needs a goal - and every goal needs an obstacle. This is what gives the story some tension and keeps readers turning the page.

An obvious choice of obstacle for this hypothetical character, since we're dealing with a fantasy romance, would be that Maera starts to develop feelings for one of her fellow competitors.

This concept has definitely been done, but that's okay. Not every section of this list has to break the mould. Tropes exist for a reason and it is totally okay to lean into them sometimes.

However, just for funsies, I'm going to try and put a slightly different spin on this one too.

Instead of the obvious "I love one of the people I'm meant to kill", let's make Maera's (previously dormant) conscience be the problem. Her reasons for entering the tournament may have been self-motivated, but as she gets to know her fellow competitors - admires some of them, even - she starts to second guess those reasons.

Core Traits

A lot of character templates will divide personality traits into positives and negatives - but I don't think this is particularly helpful. It is far too one dimensional - not to mention unrealistic. The key components of someone's personality aren't usually so black and white.

In fact, most core traits are both good and bad at the same time - it just depends on the context.

Instead of being wholly positive or negative, try to think of three core character traits that can serve as two sides of the same coin, with both positive and negative implications to each.

For Maera, I've given her these core traits:

Self-reliant;

Rebellious; and

Good-humoured.

Her self-reliance means that she is incredibly capable - but it's also the cause of her selfishness. She's always had to look after herself, so she expects others to do the same.

Her rebellious attitude means she isn't willing to accept the status quo. But at times she is also a rebel without a cause, causing trouble just for the fun of it.

Her good sense of humour means she is fun to be around, but she also tends to not take things as seriously as she should.

Thinking of core traits in this multi-faceted way not only adds realistic complexity, but it also sets you up well for showcasing character development and growth throughout the story.

Fatal Flaw & Character Arc / Growth

You've probably read negative reviews that throw around terms like "Mary Sue" or "Gary Stu". People tend to be over-zealous with these terms, especially for Mary Sue, but the gist of it is that the character in question is "too perfect".

They're the chosen one, they're good at everything, all the boys like them, etc.

Some characters can get away with this just fine. Look at Aragorn. He's the ultimate Gary Stu but I still swoon every time he opens those damn doors. You know the scene I'm talking about.

Ooft.

But for the most part, you want to incorporate a fatal flaw into your protagonists - because this is what gives them room to grow.

And, no. "I was born to be King but I don't wanna" does not count as a fatal flaw.

Instead, think bigger. Think worse. Think about where your character starts versus where you want them to end up. Think about how you want the events of the narrative to change their world view - or even their initial goal.

For Maera, her fatal flaw is pretty obvious, given her initial motivations for entering the tournament. Similarly, her growth/arc is linked to her primary obstacle, which is developing a conscious.

Her journey throughout this hypothetical story might be learning to appreciate how her past shaped her, while also acknowledging that there are things she can do to ensure others don't have to go through what she did. By being shown acts of kindness, she learns to appreciate their value.

First Impression

Now that we've covered all the "big picture" stuff, let's get into some of the smaller details that give your character some texture.

The first impression category is a hypothetical exercise where you image how your character might appear to a room full of strangers. In dual, multi, or omniscient POVs, you might even get the opportunity to include this impression somewhere in the story.

But even for first-person narratives, it is still worth thinking about, because it will help to inform how other characters interact and respond to your protagonist (at least at first).

For Maera, I've written this first impression as: a fun person to have a few drinks with - so long as you keep a close eye on your wallet.

From this description, we can guess that Maera probably likes to have a good time, but also comes across as untrustworthy. Whether that impression is deserved or not is up to you, as the author, to decide.

There's also a lot of deeper directions you can take this first impression category, too. Like if most people react to Maera this way, but one particular character doesn't, then your readers are going to sit up and pay extra attention during that interaction. Especially when that person reacting atypically is the future love interest.

Spirit Animal

Ah, this one is a fun one!

I always encourage my authors to assign a "spirit animal" to their characters - especially when they're doing multi-POV.

There are two main reasons for this:

It will allow you to assign some very distinct adjectives and verbs with that particular character; and

It is an opportunity to flesh out some additional character traits beyond the core traits.

For Maera, I've chosen "spider" because she is solitary by nature, opportunistic, and patient.

But, more than that, I also like the idea of Maera being the kind of person who knows how to watch and wait. While her first impression might be "here for the good times", her joking façade is actually a mask she wears while carefully observing others.

For example:

Her words were laced with venom. She crawled her way across the rooftop. At some point, weaving lies had become more of a past time that a necessity. Her thoughts were a tangled mess. She didn't bother to conceal her predatory gaze. Inch by cautious inch, she crept forward. Her sanity was already hanging by a thread. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was spin a good story - truth be damned.

I've never outright compared Maera to a spider in these examples, nor have I made it blatantly obvious that that's what I'm doing. But by peppering these kinds or words throughout the story, I'll be able to subtly create a very distinct kind of impression for her character.

For comparison's sake, let's assign "cat" to the love interest. Examples of possible words to consider in this instance might be:

He clawed his way through the bushes. "What are you doing?" he hissed. The comment had some bite to it, that was for sure. He slunk away into the darkness. His still, unwavering focus was unnerving. He prowled towards her. In a few quick, agile steps, he'd made it across the parapet. He yawned and stretched out beside her.

Of course, not every single word you use in association with a character needs to be related to their spirit animal. But keeping a certain type of animal in mind - and finding opportunities to throw in some subtle messaging through language choice - can be beneficial on so many levels.

It helps to distinguish your characters from one another through the kind of language you use to describe them - but it's also just really, really fun way to add some bonus texture to your characters. Giving your readers some little easter eggs like this is never a bad thing.

Love Language

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of the five basic love languages, then here's a quick visual overview:

Love languages aren't a consideration that's specific to romance. They're important for friendships and familial relationships too.

Because thinking about what your protagonist values most in love is going to tell you a lot about who they are. Especially when you take the question deeper and think about why this is something they value.

For Maera, I've chosen "Acts of Service" because this ties in quite well to her character arc.

In terms of Maera's why, I could easily go with "because this was how she was shown love as a child" - and this is a good enough option most of the time. However, since her love language is very much tied into growing out of her fatal flaw, then I actually want to do the opposite.

Maera winds up valuing acts of service because this is something she craved - and wasn't given - as a child. She had to do things the hard way instead. Hence why she ends up appreciating the kindness of others so much. Such generosity is new to her - and precious.

Conflict Response

This is potentially one of the most overlooked character components. Conflict and tension is central to story telling, yet there is so little attention given to creating authentic, original responses to conflict.

The way I see it, there are three main considerations in regards to conflict response:

How your character reacts in the moment;

The unhealthy methods they use to deal with the aftermath; and

The healthy methods they use (or discover) to self-sooth.

When faced with conflict, Maera's immediate reaction is to antagonise. She doesn't like to back down and enjoys creating trouble.

However, in the aftermath, the conflict affects her more than she lets on. She stews on it - and her solution to that is to get drunk until she can forget about it completely.

But even though she sometimes forgets it, Maera has a more healthy coping mechanism at her disposal. When she is surrounded by nature - in the forest, by the sea, whatever - it calms her.

In addition to identifying your protagonist's various responses to conflict, it is also helpful to think about why. Again, this is a great opportunity to insert something unique into their character backstory.

With Maera, for example, let's think about why she finds nature so soothing. Perhaps, amidst a very bleak childhood, one of her fondest memories is of picking grapes in a vineyard.

Perhaps the elderly woman who owned the vineyard was very rude and abrupt - but also quite kind to Maera in her own way. Maybe she would sometimes stitch up Maera's clothes or feed Maera a hearty, meaty dinner - even though she didn't have to.

If you're struggling to think of a real, tangible, unique memory such as this - then it's always helpful to go back to the old classic of write what you know. Think of a real life moment or memory - something that's stuck with you, no matter how simple - then adapt it to your character.

To create this vineyard example, I simply drew on my experience of picking strawberries with my Nonna after school.

Mentor / Idol

I could write an entire thesis on mentors. Or, more specifically, the "death of the mentor" trope - both in its literal and metaphorical interpretations.

But, for the sake of brevity, let's save that sh*t for another time and focus on what's important for a basic (yet complex) character template. And that is:

The Formative Mentor (past); and

Transformative Mentor (present).

The formative mentor (or idol) is someone who influenced your character prior to the events of the novel. Sometimes they're a character the reader will meet, or other times, they're long gone before the novel even begins.

The transformative mentor is a much looser term. It doesn't necessarily have to be a traditional mentor character, but rather it is a character who heavily influences or changes your protagonist throughout the events of the novel.

For Maera, I want her earliest idol to be a random female sell-sword who she crossed paths with. Prior to meeting this sell-sword, Maera was living without hope for a future, surviving on scraps and petty crime.

But after seeing an independent and moderately wealthy sell-sword in her local tavern, Maera got a glimpse into the kind of life that might be possible if she learned to fight. With the right kind of skills, she might be able to earn some decent money for a change - and travel the world.

This is an example of how "mentors" don't always have to be a wise wizard who oversees your protagonist's training and education. Young minds are impressionable - and even distant figures can have a lasting impact.

Just look at all the women who cite Legally Blonde as the reason why they were drawn to law. Elle Woods wasn't even real - but for plenty of young girls, she made an impact.

Similarly, your protagonist's "present" mentor or idol doesn't necessarily have to be a wise wizard either. It can simply be someone who motivates them to change their world view or strive to be better.

In romance, it is more than acceptable to have the present mentor coincide with the love interest - especially in standalone enemies-to-lovers. I know this seems counter-intuitive, since the word "mentor" implies a power imbalance, but it makes more sense if you readjust your definition of mentor to be "inspires change".

However, for Maera, I kind of like the idea of pairing her up with a love interest who shares some of her flaws. I vibe with the idea of making him a bit self-interested too, although for different reasons.

So in her example, I've listed the present mentor as a selfless secondary character. The way I would envision this going is Maera and the love interest team up early on - but somewhere along the way a secondary character saves them both. They're both heavily influenced by this character before this character sacrifices themselves. The aftermath of this incident rattles both Maera and her love interest, and serves as the spark for growth.

I hope you found this template - and very long explanation - useful!

[valyrfia]

Oooooh I would love to hear your anti-romantacy thoughts (because same)

If you feel like sharing I will be sat

So, first little lore dump is I used to be a huge anti SJM person back pre-covid before SJM became uber popular like she is today and ACOTAR sparked this whole romantasy saturation. My negative review of Empire of Storms on goodreads was its own little corner-of-the-internet-controversy back in the day because I was like.....(SPOILERS FOR THRONE OF GLASS SERIES UNTIL THE PARAGRAPH BREAK) Rowan and Aelin came out of nowhere! This is bullshit! Manon is a lesbian! Dorian and Chaol are obviously in love! This magic system doesn't make sense! Why are these characters that meant so much to me as a teenager suddenly caricatures! Why is this world a bad patchwork of every other fantasy story ever!

I feel like 16 year old me didn't quite know how to explain why these things were bad or what the root problems were, but now seeing these root problems repeated widely across a genre....I can summarise in a list. I can go into greater detail if I won't bore anyone, but to sum it up:

Heteronormative as hell. This is my major complaint. Most romance in romantasy reads as thinly veiled conservative propaganda. Plus the weird insistence on using the words "males" and "females"

Bad FANTASY as a whole. Fantasy is my favourite genre because done right you can fold a whole lot of real world observations about our own society into it. Or, if you're Brandon Sanderson, you can write excellent magic systems based around rules and drawbacks. Super Special Girl meets Bad Boy and they have the most specialist powers ever doesn't do it for me really.

Following on: extremely dumbed down plots. Fantasy is about weaving elaborate plots together under a new system of rules, Romantasy is all about the romance. Don't worry about plots, just don't.

Blatant plagiarism absolutely everywhere? Every single book with dragons/wyverns from the past ten years needs to start paying some sort of monetary contribution back to the Eragon series and Dragonriders of Pern.

Really REALLY weird attitudes about race/class/beauty if you start looking at it too head on.

I am a girl with a deep love for ao3 and a fairly active account but it needs to be said.....a lot of these people who exclusively read romantasy have porn addictions. You know how depressing it is to see a favourite fantasy book of yours be rated low because "no spice" or "spice wasn't good enough". Like the spice is only one possible way of flavouring a delicious meal, I think we need to learn to embrace the vanilla too as a society.

The marketing of it is also just disturbing. And it is encroaching big time on fantasy as a genre rather than just accepting that it can be its own thing. Fourth Wing is NOT proper high fantasy, don't make me laugh. Talk to my copy of Priory of the Orange Tree please.

People can enjoy romantasy of course I won't hold it against them, it's just more an absolute hatred for the genre and people reading it refuse to engage with it critically when fantasy as a genre has ALWAYS been a mirror to our own society. Also, returning to my first bullet point, it's just mind-boggling heteronormative slop most of the time. Instead of trying to build a romance that can compel me, most romantasy authors are perfectly happy to go "she was a slight and slender and specially magically powerful girl, he was a hunk of a man, can I make it any more obvious?" and leave it at that.

[lotus-pear]

lotus. lotus. LOTUS.

you’ve read throne of glass???????

/pos btw i’m not about to explode you for reading it bc i realize now that this ask could come off really negative 💀

YES unfortunately i was forced into reading it by my bestie bc the deal was she read bsd and i read tog (we both ended up suffering bc now we're both obsessed with each other's series)

i'm on queen of shadows rn so it's supposed to start picking up from here...

[hatereadings]

Chapter 2, part two

(previous)

“I couldn’t be happier,” she crooned as her jagged nails cut into her palms

Okay I actually REALLY like this line. The defiance, while we’re shown, not told, how pissed she is about his douchebaggery; and the reminder about her broken nails even though she normally likes primping and pampering herself and probably gets regular manicures when she isn’t in a pit.

It’s fitting that this all takes place in a mine, because I feel like I’m really digging through dirt to find these tiny pockets of useful ore. Why can’t the author just be consistent and write like this all the time?

We’re told the average life expectancy is a month but she lasted a year, which, again, I don’t have a problem with; I know it’s unrealistic for her to survive a salt mine longer just because she’s a special protagonist or whatnot (it’d be one thing if she survived in the wild or in a gladiator arena because she was so badass; that might actually be realistic), but like I said, I don’t actually take issue with the wish fulfillment side of the fantasy. Sure, she can be special and survive ridiculously long.

“Quite a mystery, I’m sure.” She batted her eyelashes and readjusted her shackles as if they were silk gloves.

Again, I do actually like her here. Is it realistic for her to have so much spirit after a year in the mines? Idgaf, she’s giving a good account of herself against the shitty Prince.

Chaol and Prince Dorian do the thing where they talk about her again as if she isn’t there, and then Kale gets mad when she doesn’t use the proper title when talking to the Prince. He just gets amused, and then he comes out with this line:

“You do know that you’re now a slave, don’t you? Has your sentence taught you nothing?”

Hooooooly shit.

Does he genuinely think being sentenced to the mines is some kind of character growth opportunity? Like… if it doesn’t kill you, you learn humility/your proper place in society? What is this even implying???

I’m as into redemption arcs as the next person, but his had better be intense to justify how much of a wet turd he seems to be right now.

To her credit, Celaena points out that all you learn in a mine is how to use a pickaxe, which, yeah, one would think that’d be self-explanatory. We then get a story about Celaena’s escape attempt 8 months ago. She killed her overseer and 23 other people (nice), and came less than an inch away from the exit. Then we learn something unbelievably stupid.

“…how far do slaves make it from the mines when they try to escape?” “Three feet,” he muttered. “Endovier sentries usually shoot down a man before he’s moved three feet.”

It turns out, the king of Adarlan ordered Celaena kept alive as long as possible, so that she could suffer longer.

THAT ORDER KILLED 24 PEOPLE!!!!!

Six guards every day, AND this?!?! Literally wtf. If you want to torture someone for a year, just do that! You’re a faux-medieval fantasy king; there’s no way you don’t have dungeons and a guy with a case full of shiny tools.

Im sure the king is a huge dickbag, and his son’s issues are all going to be his fault somehow; but this isn’t just being cruel; it’s being *stupid*. This is some Joffrey-level shit with the “I want to torment this teenage girl so I’ll make the dumbest possible decision over it.” I find it hard to believe his reign lasted as long as it did. Does everyone else in this universe just seriously suck at politics?

At the very least, this does actually explain why she survived so long. Unfortunately, while I'm glad she got an offscreen moment of badassery with the nice body count, we didn't actually see it happen; we were just told that it did. It doesn't count as seeing her do cool things on the page.

Anyway, Celaena tells them that her escape attempt was actually a suicide attempt, which, oof, but understandable. Prince Halberd gets this pitying look and this pisses her off, which, fair! Then we get this gem:

“Do you bear many scars?”…he smiled, forcing the mood to lift as he stepped from the dais. “Turn around, and let me view your back.”

WHAT THE HELL.

Bro WHAT.

Also, Celaena, what? "forcing the mood to lift" NO HE DIDN'T. You told him about your suicide attempt and he thinks he can just be like "ah, that's dark. Let's move on to lighter topics. Let me inspect your body like you're a racehorse. Can I see your teeth?"

And for some bizarre reason, Celaena actually does it, and he goes

"I can't make them out clearly through all this dirt," the prince said, inspecting what skin showed through the scraps of her shirt. She scowled, and scowled even more when he said, "And what a terrible stench, too!"

Look, darling. Paaaahhhhhverty!

Because I'm desperate to find some things to like about this book, I will say that it's nice that the hot female protagonist gets to be all gross and stinky in her intro. Normally that's reserved for men and women have to be pretty and smell like flowers at all times, even when it makes zero sense.

That said, Prince Doorknob has some serious groveling to do after his redemption.

"When one doesn't have access to a bath and perfume, I suppose one cannot smell as finely as you, Your Highness." The Crown Prince clicked his tongue and circled her slowly.

I feel like she's contributing a lot to his worldly education, but it doesn't seem like he's actually taking any of it in. And, honestly, what a wasted opportunity. He could have actually been a really sympathetic character from the getgo if we'd seen this as a moment when his shitty privileged opinions collided with the reality of what his father - and his entire country - was making people suffer. We could have seen him struggling to put on his composed mask but looking around uneasily, maybe feigning callousness with Celaena but refusing to meet her eyes, something like that. Wanting to look away but being forced to confront it, and then leaving all troubled, deep in thought, and maybe taking the opportunity to go out of his way to be kind to Celaena, giving her a proper bath and whatnot. Which could also move their love story forward, since he was spending extra time with her trying to redeem himself more, and she probably had all sorts of thoughts on what he could do with his position and power to make things better for everyone she'd seen suffering.

But, nah, he sees all this and his reaction isn't "Holy hell, what are we doing to people?!" it's "Ew, stinky."

It's realistic, sadly. But it isn't very likeable.

In less than a second, she could get her arms over the prince's head and have her shackles crushing his windpipe.

DO IT.

It might be worth it just to see the expression on Chaol's face.

No, it might be worth it SO YOU CAN ESCAPE, you dingus!!!! A prince is one of the most valuable hostages you can get, and one just walked right up to you! Get your shackles around his throat, threaten to kill him if they don't all lower their weapons and escort you out of the mines, maybe demand a fast horse and some provisions and winter clothes, and tell them maybe you'll drop him off once you get to some border or convenient forest if you're feeling generous. Seriously.

I feel like I need to save this as a reaction image for how much I'm going to be using it throughout this book.

But the prince went on, oblivious to how dangerously close he stood to her. Perhaps she should be insulted.

No, you should just recognize that he's an idiot. Like you and Chaol salad and everyone else in here.

"From what I can see," he said, "there are three large scars--and perhaps some smaller ones. Not as awful as I expected, but... well, the dresses can cover it, I suppose."

Oh, dread! Is this former slave not pretty enough for you?

"Dresses?" He was standing so near that she could see the fine thread detail on his jacket, and smelled not perfume, but horses and iron.

The dialogue tag makes it sound like he's the one wondering what he himself meant when he mentioned dresses. Pro tip - if you're going to write something like that, just put a line break between the quote and the description. Less confusion that way.

Also, someone who smells like horses when he has full access to baths has absolutely zero right to judge others for being stinky.

I get that this is supposed to be some kind of comment on how he isn't a pampered prince but actually does, idk, work or whatever; but given he wears a ceremonial sword and probably had to ride to get here, I don't think this is actually any evidence of that.

Dorian grinned. "What remarkable eyes you have! And how angry you are!" Coming within strangling distance of the Crown Prince of Adarlan, son of the man who sentenced her to a slow, miserable death, her self-control balanced on a fragile edge--dancing along a cliff.

WHY?!

Literally just kill him. What do you even have to lose?

Her on-page behavior contrasts so STUPIDLY much with everything we hear about her that allegedly happened off-page. She's a famous assassin, the best of the best, she killed 24 people in a day, but, nah, THIS is what she balks at, killing a guy who's done nothing but insult her and offered her zero reason to keep him alive. Because she knows his name and he's kind of pretty, I guess.

Honestly even if she'd given her curiosity about the dresses/what the prince wants from her as a reason she's holding off on killing him, that would have made sense. It would have been fine. But, no, we don’t get any of that yet. No sensible thoughts, just an empty lil pumpkin stuck on her neck.

"Watch your mouth before I throw you back in the mines," the brown-eyed captain said. "Oh, I don't think you'd do that."

Okay, so now we get the conversation where she's like "Yeah, y'all clearly want something from me, and it's pooooossible it somehow leads to an escape, which is why I'm not going to take my revenge on the king by killing his son." Which (a) should have happened sooner when she first thought about killing him, instead of waiting for paragraphs and paragraphs; and (b) is STILL STUPID, because maybe the prince just wanted to come see the famous assassin in person. And now he's going to leave and you're not going to escape. Whereas you could have escaped FOR SURE if you'd just TAKEN HIM HOSTAGE like pretty much ANY OTHER PRISONER would have done!!!!

Anyway, the prince says he has a proposition for her.

But perhaps his proposition could lead to escape.

You're throwing away a certainty of escape on 'perhaps'?

If she got beyond the wall, she could make it. Run and run and disappear into the mountains and live in solitude in the dark green of the wild, with a pine-needle carpet and a blanket of stars overhead.

It's an interesting dream, and sounds pretty enough; it would be nice to hear more about it and why she wants that, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

She could do it. She just needed to clear the wall. She had come so close before... "I'm listening," was all she said.

Not a terrible chapter hook, but kind of a terrible chapter.

[tokoyamisstuff]

You get them a cat HC's

Featuring Mihawk, Shanks, Buggy and Kuro!

Warnings: None.

Notes: GN! Reader

A/N: I just needed to get this silly little idea out of my head!

"Oh? Well, I guess another one won't hurt."

Turns out his castle is a refuge for all kinds of animals. He's taking care of injured or abandoned beings of all sort.

Let's be honest, his personality has a lot of a feral cat as well. You find the similarities hilarious, while he still can't see it.

One time you walked in on him petting it - one of the rare occasions you ever saw him smile.

Loves when the cat sits on his lap while he's in his armchair by the fire, sipping on a glass of wine. An adorable image, and his favourite kind of self-care.

It will rub itself against his beard all the time. Who can blame it?

Needs at least one new outfit a week since the cat will always wreck the feather of his hat or scratch his leather clothes.

Talks to it with a way higher voice than usually, and yes, he does babytalk.

-><--><--><--><-

"Great idea! I actually thought about getting a mascot for the crew anyways."

This man is like a Disney Princess. Just gives off a vibe that makes an animal automatically love him.

Is pretty chill about standard annoying cat behavior. This pet will be misbehaving a lot since he just takes everything with a smile. Can't really be mad at all.

It will probably have a standard seat on his shoulder and loves hiding under his cape.

Always buys snacks when he's on land and even shares his meal with it.

Talks about the cat as if it's an actual person, and talks a lot. Literally his new bestie, you're almost jealous.

This animal has seen some shit. He'll definetly not go anywhere without it and do some weird party tricks when drunk.

Would protect it with his life, certainly.

Poor guy is actually a lil' bit allergic, but endures for your and it's sake.

-><--><--><--><-

"...fine. But if it goes anywhere near my stuff I'll throw it overboard!"

Will have a full blown rant about how cats are ungrateful and illoyal little shits.

Isn't actually an animal person in general. Especially cats and dogs are a little too fascinated with his nose for his liking - it looks like a toy, after all.

It follows him around despite his best efforts not to. He gets used to it quickly however and starts talking to it. It helps him get his thoughts in order, actually.

Lets you keep it in the end because this man just can't say no to any of your wishes. Won't admit it though, probably says it's because they're useful to catch mice on the ship or something.

Throws a tantrum at least once a day, especially when the cat got anywhere near his maps.

Unsuccessfully tries to teach it any tricks for them to participate in the circus.

Is often caught juggling for it and acts like the cat just happened to be there while he was practicing.

It's an open secret that he adores this animal. It's also the only one allowed to sit on his throne besides him.

-><--><--><--><-

"...what an astonishing creature, indeed."

It takes everything in this man to not drop the facade.

Wants to keep it so badly but hesistantly talks about hygiene and how the cat's presence may negatively affect Kaya's health.

He's actually the most skilled when it comes to properly train those stubborn creatures.

Anyways, he still will get scratched and hissed at. It breaks his heart.

Indulges it as good as he can. Only the best food, it's own room in the mansion and always new toys.

Always nerds out some biological or historical facts about those animals.

Loves to absentmindedly stroke it's fur whenever it sits on his lap. Looks like a Bond villain when doing so.

[marthawrites]

Hi friends I'm dropping by here with a small update

I've been totally absent from tumblr for the past week. Which, honestly, is more like the past two weeks. And even before that I was tapering off.

Long story short is: hotd s2 was a real bummer for me and has really zapped a lot of my motivation to even participate in fandom - reading fic, reblogging art and gifs, and generally interacting with my dash much less writing my own fics.

On top of that, the near constant negative takes/posts/rants about hotd s2 is mentally exhausting (and I understand this post can be considered that as well - talking crap about people taking crap ugggh the irony doesn't escape me!).

Then, on top of that, the lack of comments, interactions, and feedback from readers is also zapping my motivation. "Likes" are cool but it's borderline frustrating to only get likes in your notifications and rarely a comment and rarely a reblog. Idk maybe I'm being whiney but that's how I feel, sooo... yeah.

I've got a lot going on irl and have been shifting to incorporate healthy habits into my daily life. October is going to be a huge month!!

This isn't an official hiatus post but I will probably continue to be on less for the foreseeable future.

I'd really like to maybe branch out and participate in other fandoms (Throne of Glass, The Boys, maybe some smaller book fandoms), but even my experience on ao3 has been disheartening so idk.

I have a queue of 140 posts or so lined up (none of them are tagged rn though ugh even that feels like a chore to do) so I will still be here but not necessarily here.

I will be popping in and out from time and time again, but I'm definitely not working on anything or reading much rn.

At the end of the day the writers of hotd can never make me hate Aemond. Even if the show is horrible as it's projected to be by GRRM himself, the book Fire and Blood can never be taken away from me and that's what really made me fall in love with this fandom.

Aemond simp foreveerrr

Rhaenyra Dragon Queen foreveerr!!

Harwin and Rhaenyra are my OTP FOREVERRR R

ANyway ily all MWAH

[jbuffyangel]

So, welcome back. I just listened to part of your Acotar review and I'm glad someone else out there isn't right away a Rhysand hater. I see so much of that hate on tumblr and I'm like am I reading wrong? Is my brain not working. What are they seeing I'm not? He is not a bad guy. Does he act a certain way? Yes. Like I see so much of the negatively and it's like, can you calm down. At the end of the day, they're not real. Don't be so hostile. And are you going to talk about her Throne Of Glass series also. If so, I can't wait for that. It also gets some hate.

Hello!!! Thank you!!! Glad to be back. Yes, this is a Rhysand hate free zone. That man must be protected at all costs. I love him. I do not understand the hate either. Maybe it's my vampire loving background, but Rhysand doesn't even come close to a problematic dark & twisty love interest. Is he perfect? No. He wouldn't be an interesting character if he's perfect. He's made mistakes, but at the end of the day - he is a selfless hero who protects his family and loves Feyre with all his heart. That's my kind of fictional boyfriend.

I've heard the Acotar fandom can be a little punchy but I was forged in the ship wars of TVD and Arrow (although that wasn't much of a ship war). I'm battle tested and ready to defend Feysand.

I'll even go a step further. I like Lucien and Elaine together and Azriel and Gwyn. GASP. THE HORROR. I'm fine if Elain and Azriel hook up but I am fully entrenched in the "they are not endgame because MATES" camp.

Yes, I will read Throne of Glass. Soon or @callistawolf might murder me. I've made progress. I bought the book. Now I just have to sit down and like... read it.

[orbital-inclination]

Nightmare and rem, with ‘I’ for the ask prompt!

Prompt: I. Broken glass. WC: 927 Feat, angst! again! tentatively takes place in that unnamed AU i have going on. Nightmare and Rem argue about ethics and family. that's it. That's the fic. Thank you for coming to this ted talk, no i'm not sure how i got that from “broken glass” either.

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“Now, why would you do that? Really, Rem. You must work on your temper.” Rem gritted his teeth. He shook his hand and the numbness from his knuckles. Shards of glass sang with sickly sweetness as they fell from his wrist. “Shut up.”

“Watch how you speak to me. I can’t have my men getting the wrong impression.” 

Rem scoffed. He plucked a shard from between his metacarpal and brushing off his sleeve, stepped away from the cabinet. His frustration and anger and worry had gotten the better of him and he’d punched it on impulse. 

To put it simply, his soul was not used to being immersed in so much negativity. The negativity of this universe was overwhelming enough on its own but it was worse here, where Nightmare claimed his throne.

He felt less in control of his magic by the day. The thought scared him.

“Drop the pretense. We both know they’re more than soldiers to you.”

His counterpart stiffened. The tentacles slowed their languid movement. Rem eyed them warily. They almost seemed to have a mind of their own. A mind that sometimes betrayed his alternate’s first impulse. Occasionally, that first impulse was violence.

“Or...” Rem began just as slowly, aware of the very fragile line he was treading. “... are you not ready to admit that, yet?”

“Your attempts to provoke me will not succeed,” Nightmare finally deigned to turn around and look at him, hands clasped behind his back. “Speculation goes both ways. Did you think I wouldn’t catch the pity you feel for them? Killer tells me you’ve been smuggling snacks to Horror.”

Rem kept his face carefully blank. “I wasn’t aware food was something that could be smuggled in your own house.” 

“Ah, but this isn’t your house. This is my house and in my house there are rules that must be followed. One of those rules is that we adhere to a time when we eat and when we don't. I’ve implemented such things for a reason.”

“Rules that I might add, are useless as they are unnecessary.”

Nightmare scowled. “You are too soft with them.” “And you are too strict!” Rem snapped. “Do you not see how much you are holding them back?” Nightmare’s teeth flashed in a restrained snarl. “I do not appreciate what you are insinuating. Do you realize where they would be without me? Without us? Deadend timelines with no hope of a future, of change of any sort. To be stuck in that corpse of a plane for eternity is a cruelty even I would not wish on my worst enemy.”

“Because you provide this ‘choice’—” Rem lifted his hands to make air quotes. At this gesture, Nightmare felt truly affronted. “—you have grown complacent. Do you really think you have their loyalty, when all you have offered them is the bare minimum?”

A strange expression eclipsed his counterpart’s face. Rem did his best not to smirk. “Do you understand my point now? Loyalty is a choice. If given the chance to have something better, what do you think they will choose?”

A low threatening rumble thundered through his counterpart’s chest. He rounded on Rem, to do what, he wasn’t sure, but then Nightmare froze, and almost as quickly as he had turned, that growl transformed into a laugh.

“Ah! I see now. This was your attempt at sowing discord! Bravo.” he shook his head. A step taken forward, and Rem took one step back. 

“A decent try, I must admit, but you underestimated my confidence. This fear of abandonment... It was something we once shared. That’s true. But we’ve diverged enough from each other that fear is no longer relevant.” Nightmare smiled cruelly. “By the nature of the work they do for me... where else would they go? Who would take them in? They have no one. No place to call home. No family left but what little comradery they find in each other... oh? You are disgusted by my words again. Is it not the same for your den of thieves?”

“I would never pretend to offer a choice that did not exist.” Rem hissed. 

“Ah, you heard about what happened with Dust, hm? What happened with him was unfortunate but necessary. But I suppose I can't expect you to understand this. After all, it is more critical for me to feed on a constant source of negativity than it is for you. I wonder... perhaps that’s where this softness comes from. You can feed yourself easily enough in your universe, comparatively. But I am almost always hungry.” 

Nightmare’s eyelight, that deep sea foam green took on a malevolent glint and that Rem did not like. A shiver ran through him, of what could have been; a future he’d narrowly avoided by chance. If he had not sidestepped that axe, if Dream had not returned when he did… was this the kind of person he would have become? 

“I wonder how your brother handles his hunger? Afterall, you are actively chipping away at his source of strength, bit by bit.”

“I am not hurting him,” Rem said defensively. “I am alleviating the curse. The less it’s fed into the weaker it becomes, and the less strain he’s under!”

“Are you?” Nightmare said, softly and wickedly. “Or are you just limiting his potential? Perhaps it's not that he is enduring under too much positivity, but not enough. Consider if the solution to your problem is counter to what you believe.”

He felt sick.

Nightmare grinned. “Well... it’s something to think about, at any rate.”

[xxlordalexanderxx]

Character Dossier

BASICS

Full Name: Alexander Warrick

Known Alias(es): King Alexander, Lord Alexander, King Warrick

Age: 625 Years old (stopped aging at 38)

Gender: Cis Male

Birthday: January 3rd, 1362

Heritage: Xandorain

Religion: None

Sexual & Romantic Orientation: Pansexual+Panromantic

Status: King of Xandora and all seven of its territories

Residencies: Castle Xandoria amongst the great archipelago

Highest Education Level: Academic Instruction, Courtly Manners and Diplomacy, Military Training, Law and Governance, Knowledge of dragon lord's passed,

Occupation(s): Sovereign

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION

Facial Features: Defined cheek bones, tusks and protruding curved fangs, glowing eyes, bejeweled jaw.

Face-claim: Himself

Voice: Deep, English, demonic at times

Voice-claim: [x]

Eyes: Vermillion and Yellow

Hair: Violet and white

Body Type: Built and Muscular, Big and tall

Distinguishable Marks: Skunk stripe in mane

Weight: Roughly 6,995lbs or 3,172.86 kg

Height: 15ft or 4.57m

MENTAL EVALUATION

Mental Illnesses: Depression, PTSD, IED

Psychological Profile: Paranoia

Positive Traits: Stalwart, loving, affectionate, kind, generous, protective , warm

Negative Traits: Greedy, violent, wrathful, vengeful, voracious, destructive

Alignment Type: Neutral-Neutral evil

Personality Type: Tim Curry I don't know man

Phobias: Being frozen to death, losing a loved one

Mannerisms: Lashing tail, Flicking tail, Running talons through mane, Tongue flicks ( Rare)

Hobbies & Interests: Leather-work, light-blacksmithing, gold-smithing, jewelry-making, wood-working, toy-making, tea-blending, Orchestra, gardening, light-brewing, making flower crowns , playing chess, sparring, hunting, torture, cooking/baking, getting high.

STRATEGIC ANALYSIS

Combat Style: Close combat: tail, fangs, claws, fire, Magic: Pyromancy, tectonic manipulation, metal and fire bender pretty much, possession, unknown untamed powers to be discovered in more powerful forms.

Weapon of Choice: Fire magic imbued claymore

Hand-to-Hand Combat Proficiency: Extremely proficient, heavy handed, powerful

Tactical Strengths: Intimidation, overwhelming strength

Tactical Weaknesses: Extremely low temperatures

Signature Techniques: Sending a wave of broken glass-like crystal shards at an opponent slicing them to pieces

Pain Tolerance: Extremely high, he's tanky.

Defensive Skills: Hardening scales, arcane shields, bulk

AFFILIATIONS & RELATIONSHIPS

Family: Unidentified parents, all that is known is that the father was a knight serving the previous and final human xandorian king, and the mother worked as a cook.

Allies & Associates: James and Hannah-husband and adoptive daughter Queen Ebony and the kingdom of mystery and change Kalyan-adoptive bother Grimbright-Friend and crush [as of now some things are still developing]

Rivalries: Olgan

Enemies: Carlos-James's father was a bitch ass motherfucker /lh /j, kinda sorta Galleth if he doesn't get his shit together

Romantic History: All ships here

Notable Friends: Honey, Ekira, Viktor, Grimbright,Sterling, Hook,Jafar, Terrence Erin [And many more I'm sure]

HABITS & LIFESTYLE

Daily Routine: Alexander's daily routine reflects his dedication and balance: he sleeps from 10:00 PM to 5:00 AM, starting his day with an early patrol followed by breakfast with tea, after which he handles light paperwork. The majority of his time is spent in the throne room, addressing the needs and grievances of his people or parliament. Unless he has to travel, the latter part of the day is his to enjoy as he wishes, maintaining a blend of responsibility and personal time.

Diet & Nutrition: Meats, Sweets, fine dining, homecooked meals, some veg

Exercise Habits: Daily training in the fields or the arena, strength, cardio, endurance

Grooming Habits: Immaculate, bathes every night and other self-maintenance

Substance Use: Dragon's Breath (Dragon weed), Alcohol

Sleep Patterns: Deep to light sleep but will wake up to the faintest noise and beat the proper gentleman shit out of someone.

Personal Aesthetic: Gold, Jewels, crystal, roses, opulence

Favorite Books: Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Book of a Thousand Words

Favorite Music Genres: Classical, Baroque

Favorite Art/Architecture: Fine art, sculptures, castles

Tagged: @feelinsheepish 🌹

Tagging: Anyone who wants to this is a fat bitch of a dash game holy shit this took an HOUR.