#three utilities problem

[noelements-setempty]

Three households, all without utilities

Upon a torus where we lay our scene

[livvyofthelake]

i do wish storygraph's filtered content system was more refined but i guess it's hardly the end of the world. gives "that one friend that's too woke" in many ways. sorry

[luulapants]

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

[indelen]

In STEM in never fails, Professor Stockbridge-Huntington-West has two PhDs and is leader in the field of biochemistry but it's Elizabeth in the smallest room in the Department office who can actually get his samples shipped over the border without getting like six different governments investigating you and the university ending up on some watchlist because the vials have a biohazard sign on them.

If there's a scientific breakthrough anywhere you know the one person not on any papers that made half of it possible is a Jill or a Pearl or a Margaret or an Ida that actually runs that Department.

i think this is probably true of every office, but there's a middle aged woman working in business who doesn't hold any particular place in the chain of command but is Sovereign. i was running support and she has access to more secure network drives than i do. im pretty sure she has an admin account. i was having trouble with my parking pass and my boss just said to talk to kristen- one day later i had parking in any garage on campus. she's not even in charge of parking in our building

[reasonsforhope]

Article | Paywall-Free

"The Environmental Protection Agency finalized a rule Tuesday [October 8, 2024] requiring water utilities to replace all lead pipes within a decade, a move aimed at eliminating a toxic threat that continues to affect tens of thousands of American children each year.

The move, which also tightens the amount of lead allowed in the nation’s drinking water, comes nearly 40 years after Congress determined that lead pipes posed a serious risk to public health and banned them in new construction.

Research has shown that lead, a toxic contaminant that seeps from pipes into the drinking water supply, can cause irreversible developmental delays, difficulty learning and behavioral problems among children. In adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, lead exposure can cause increased blood pressure, heart disease, decreased kidney function and cancer.

But replacing the lead pipes that deliver water to millions of U.S. homes will cost tens of billions of dollars, and the push to eradicate them only gathered momentum after a water crisis in Flint, Mich., a decade ago exposed the extent to which children remain vulnerable to lead poisoning through tap water...

The groundbreaking regulation, called the Lead and Copper Rule Improvements, will establish a national inventory of lead service lines and require that utilities take more aggressive action to remove lead pipes on homeowners’ private property. It also lowers the level of lead contamination that will trigger government enforcement from 15 parts per billion (ppb) to 10 ppb.

The rule also establishes the first-ever national requirement to test for lead in schools that rely on water from public utilities. It mandates thatwater systems screen all elementary and child-care facilities, where those who are the most vulnerable to lead’s effects — young children — are enrolled, and that they offer testing to middle and high schools.

The White House estimates that more than 9 million homes across the country are still supplied by lead pipelines, which are the leading source of lead contamination through drinking water. The EPA has projected that replacing all of them could cost at least $45 billion.

Lead pipes were initially installed in cities decades ago because they were cheaper and more malleable, but the heavy metal can wear down and corrode over time. President Joe Biden has made replacing them one of his top environmental priorities, securing $15 billion to give states over five years through the bipartisan infrastructure law and vowing to rid the country of lead pipes by 2031. The administration has spent $9 billion so far — enough to replace up to 1.7 million lead pipes, the administration said.

On Tuesday, the administration said it was providing an additional $2.6 billion in funding for pipe replacement. Over 367,000 lead pipes have been replaced nationwide since Biden took office, according to White House officials, affecting nearly 1 million people...

Environmental advocates said that former president Donald Trump, who issued much more modest revisions to the lead and copper rule just days before Biden took office, would have a hard time reversing the new standards.

Erik Olson, the senior strategic director for health at the Natural Resources Defense Council, said that the Safe Drinking Water Act has provisions prohibiting weakening the health protections of existing standards...

Olson added that the rule “represents a major victory for public health” and will protect millions of people “whose health is threatened every time they fill a glass from the kitchen sink contaminated by lead.”

“While the rule is imperfect and we still have more to do, this is by far the biggest step towards eliminating lead in tap water in over three decades,” he said."

-via The Washington Post, October 8, 2024

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! Can I request poly!marauders x fem reader as they join her lingerie shopping? The chaos would be endless

Thanks for requesting babe!

cw: no smut but mdni please because this is definitely mature content, nudity, allusion to smut

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 638 words

It’s hard not to strut a little as you come out of your room. It had been James’ idea to utilize the store’s lenient return policy to simply get everything you liked and bring it all home to try on, and it was a stroke of genius. As soon as you’re in view, Sirius whistles loudly and Remus flushes a shade of pink that makes you certain he’d have fled the store if you’d done this there. 

“I rather like the strappy ones,” Sirius declares. 

“I don’t really see what, erm…” Remus’ brow furrows as he looks at your nipples. “What’s the point of wearing something that only goes around the things it’s meant to cover?” 

“I don’t think any of it should be covered,” says James. He’s reclined comfortably against the back of the couch, eating a banana while his eyes drink you in. 

Sirius nods in near feverish agreement. “It’s for easy access, Moony. This way you can suck on ‘em without taking anything off.” 

“Right, but her…” Remus looks at you as though in apology, and you swallow a laugh. He has no problem being crude when you’re in bed together, but any other time he’s inexplicably shy about it. “Dovey, your crotch is still covered.” 

“Taking it off is also part of the fun,” Sirius amends, speaking as though he’s teaching a class. “What do you think of this one, gorgeous?” 

You look down at the straps criss-crossing down your abdomen. Their satin isn’t uncomfortable, though you are a bit cold. Your nipples stand at attention. “It wasn’t easy to put on,” you admit. “But I wouldn’t mind it, I don’t think. You’d just have to be alright with waiting for me.” 

The smile Sirius gives you brings a tickle of warmth to your cheeks. “Of course we’d wait for you. Especially if it means we get such a lovely reward.”

You laugh. “I guess this is your favorite so far, then?” 

He winks. “I like anything on you, baby, you know that.” 

You’re taking that as a yes. “What about you, Jamie?” 

James takes the last bite of his banana, folding the peel over itself. “Honestly, I like it best when you’re not wearing anything. Not that you don’t look beautiful in all of them, of course,” he hurries to add. He relaxes when you smile. “If I have to pick a favorite, I did really like the blue one you had on earlier. You know, the one with the lace?” 

You hum, nodding. “I liked that one, too.” It’s very different from the one you have on now, sweet and sky blue as opposed to this brazen, salacious thing. “Remus?” 

“I think you look lovely in all of them,” he says equitably. 

You laugh. “Well, I can’t keep all of them.”

“Why not?” Sirius sounds outraged.

“B—because!” you guffaw. “It’s too many! I’d never wear them all. I’m only keeping three, the rest are going back.” 

“I’ll give you a chance to wear them all,” he bargains. 

“I’d have nowhere to put all of them.” 

“I will happily donate one of my drawers to the cause.” 

“I’m keeping three,” you say, aiming for stern despite the smile that won’t leave your lips. “Remus, pick.” 

Remus chuckles at your bossy tone, but his expression turns contemplative. “How many are left?” 

“I think…maybe four?” 

“Let’s see those, and then I’ll decide.” 

Fair enough. You turn to go change into your next ensemble, grinning to yourself when Sirius whistles again and James claps for the view of your backside. 

“Be thinking about your favorite, too,” Sirius calls after you. “Once we’re done, that’s the one we’ll tear off you.” 

“Do you really want to ruin what she’s just bought?” you hear Remus ask faintly. 

“Oh, my darling Moony. You really aren’t getting this, are you?” 

[astra-ravana]

A Guide To Shape-Shifting

Shape-shifting has long captivated the human imagination, holding a prominent place in the realms of witchcraft and the occult. In fact, the myth of the shape-shifting witch can be found in folklore around the world and across multiple cultures, from the British Isles to the Americas to Asia and Africa. Witches were reported to turn into rabbits, cats, deer, mice, owls, ravens, and wolves. Shape-shifting is an intriguing practice that involves altering one's physical form, or at least one's perception and is often associated with mystical abilities and spiritual connections.

What Is Shape-Shifting?

Shape-shifting, in the context of witchcraft refers to the belief and practice of altering one's form or perception through magick and ritual and can take place in the Otherworld or on our current astral plane, depending on the needs of the witch. It encompasses the idea of undergoing a physical or metaphysical transformation, allowing witches to embody different beings, animals, or even objects. Often times this occurs when the witch wears the body of an animal, we know literal transformation is not possible, but it can certainly happen on an energetic or spirit level. This can occur in one of two ways: the witch's spirit transforms into the spirit of an animal or the witch's spirit 'rides' a living animal or external spirit on the physical plane or in the Otherworld. In either case, both are considered shape-shifting and can be used for the same purposes.

Some History

By the 13th century, it was widely believed witches could turn into animals at will. Witches were believed to turn into hares, toads, dogs, cats, and other animals to steal from their neighbors, curse livestock, and otherwise create mischief and mayhem. In many cases, harm done to the animal form caused similar wounds to the human.

In 1649, John Palmer of St. Albans, England confessed to transforming into a toad in order to torment his neighbor. The neighbor reportedly kicked the toad and Palmer complained of sore shins afterward. Similar stories appear in American folklore, including Aunty Greenleaf who was said to take on the form of a white doe to torment her neighbor's livestock. When the doe was shot with three silver bullets, Aunty Greenleaf was said to later die with three silver bullets in her spine.

Of course shape-shifting myths and folklore don't end there. We also have the Navajo skinwalker, the American loup-garou, Korean kumiho, Japanese yokai, the Kitsune, and the Mexican La Lechuza.

Famous incantations come from Isobel Gowdie during the 17th century witch trials. During her confessions, Gowdie named two charms one for transforming into a hare and and one for transforming back into a woman.

To Transform Into A Hare:

"I shall go into a hare

With sorrow and such a meickle care;

And I shall go in the Devil's name

Ay while I come home again."

To Transform Back:

"Hare, hare, God send thee care.

I am in a hare's likeness now,

But I shall be in a woman's likeness even now."

Other witches reported similar shape-shifting incantations as seen below.

To Transform Into A Cat:

"I shall go into a cat,

With sorrow and such a black shat;

And I shall go in the Devil's name,

Ay while I come home again."

To Transform Into A Crow:

"I shall go into a crow,

With sorrow and such a black thraw;

And I shall go in the Devil's name,

Ay while I come home again."

Modern Uses Of Shape-Shifting

In contemporary witchcraft, shape-shifting has taken on metaphorical and symbolic significance. Modern witches utilize shape-shifting as a tool for personal growth, empowerment, and self-discovery. Through the exploration of different archetypes and primal instincts, witches seek to deepen their understanding of themselves and their connection to the natural world, develop a relationship with an animal guide or totem, or even gain new perspectives on a problem. Shape-shifting becomes a means to tap into hidden aspects of the psyche and to embrace transformative experiences. This can take many forms, including calling upon different animal spirits during spellwork, meditating on different animal aspects, working with animal spirits, journaling, ritual dances, etc.

Shape-shifting also shares a deep connection with shamanic journeying and hedge riding, a practice in which the witch traverses the different realms of the Otherworld for spiritual insight and healing. Within hedge riding and othet shamanic traditions, shape-shifting serves as a means to enter other dimensions, communicate with spirits, and tap into their wisdom and attributes. By assuming the form of a particular animal, the shamen can embody ita qualities, accessing unique perspectives and guidance on their journey. An animal form is also taken often as a form of protection during otherworldly travel, as animal spirits are often able to traverse undetected, acting as a form of invisibility, much like Celtic fith-fath incantations. An animal form also allows the witch to travel more quickly and in some cases, access areas previously unreachable, such as high mountain tops, deep within an ocean or lake, or even borrowing underground or into tight spaces.

How To Shape-Shift

Modern witches engage in shape-shifting through various techniques and practices. Visualization exercises play a significant role, where witches create vivid mental images of their desired form or archetype, often coupled with ritual work such as wearing animal skin/bones, dancing, drumming, or incantations. Through meditation, yoy can enter a state of deep focus and receptivity, allowing yourself to embody the essence and qualities of the chosen form. Energy work such as harnessing personal energy or working with elemental forces, can serve as a catalyst for the transformation, although most witches find it easier to use a mask or skin, or use an ointment to prompt the change. Needless to say, there are multiple approaches to shape-shifting and you need to experiment to find which method works best for you. Below are several ways to engage in shape-shifting from both folklore and modern witchcraft.

• Incantations And Charms- This is probably one of the most commonly cited historical ways to shape-shift, with the incantations from Isobel Gowdie and her fellow witches being cited most often. These incantations can be modernized and adapted to turn you into any animal you desire. Since most witches do not incorporate "God" or the Devil in their craft, these titles can be changed to reference deities or the forces you believe in such as Lord/Lady, Horned God, Hekate, Lilith, etc. Pagan musician Damh the Bard does an excellent job of this in his "Fith Fath Song" where he says "I shall go as a wren in spring

With sorrow and sighing on silent wing

And I shall go in our Lady's name

Aye, til I come home again

Then we shall follow as falcons grey

And hunt thee cruelly for our prey

And we shall go in our Horned God's name

Aye to fetch thee home again

Then I shall go as a mouse in May

Through fields by night and in cellars by day

And I shall go in our Lady's name

Aye til I come home again

Then we shall follow as black tom cats

And hunt through the fields and the vats

And we shall go in our Horned God's name

Aye to fetch thee home again... "

Of course writing your own incantations works just as well, if not better, than using others' words.

• Wearing Animal Skins, Bones, Or Masks- Apart from incantations, many witches engage in shape-shifting by animal skins, bones, or masks to encourage a transformation. This is often coupled with ritual dancing and drumming until an altered state of consciousness is reached. In Call of the Horned Piper, Nigel Jackson describes such a ritual. In order to shape-shift, the initiate would undergo a symbolic death by undressing and crossing a lake or other body of water. Upon arriving on the other side they would don a wolf skin or belt and enter into an altered state of consciousness to "be projected forth into the form of a wolf". This same practice can be replicated with any animal pelt, bone, or mask, using a cold shower as the bridge to 'death' should you not have access to a river or lake and privacy.

• Trance, Meditation, and Visualization- Reaching an altered state of consciousness coupled with one or both of the aforementioned methods is the key to actual transformation. Reaching an altered state of consciousness can be done in a variety of ways, including ritual dancing, drumming, humming, consuming psychoactive plants, or using ointments. The methods used are essentially the same as hedge-riding, however the goal of reaching the trance state is to shape-shift. With that intention firmly in your mind, you can visualize yourself shifting into your animal form, your consciousness slowly becoming that of an animal. You may find walking/crawling on all fours, growling, hissing, or otherwise behaving like the animal aids in this transformation. Become the animal you wish to transfrom into.

If you are looking to shape-shift while hedge-riding, visualizing the shift, reciting an incantation, and donning your animal garb within the Otherworld will also work. Unlike on our plane, you won't need to shift your consciousness again, as that has already occurred. While you don't necessarily need anything physical to do this, having real animal remains or a mask on your person prior to hedge-riding will greatly aid you in your work on the astral plane.

When first starting out, start small, shape-shifting for very short periods of time. Experiment with a variety of methods, combining them into a ritual that works for you.

Shape-Shifting Safety

There are dangers to shape-shifting into an animal form. This includes not being able to return to your body because tou have forgotten you're human, forgetting which realm you belong to, being captured, injured, or killed within the Otherworld or while riding a live animal. There are many tales of witches traversing the world as an animal and being injured only for the same wounds to appear on the witch's human form. These injuries sometimes resulted in the death of the witch, so be mindful of hazards while shape-shifting.

What You Can Do To Protect Yourself

1. Set clear and firm boundaries and time limits for travel. Setting an alarm or using a musical cue can help pull you back from a trance.

2. Have a spotter who can help rouse you should you not come back when originally planned.

3. Have a safe word or incantation that when spoken pulls your spirit into your body.

4. Use a red witch's thread tied around your finger or arm to anchor your spirit to your physical body. If you get lost, follow the thread back to your body.

5. Carry or wear protective charms that will prevent your spirit from being stolen or harmed while in the Otherworld. Your familiar or household pet can also act as a protector of your body, sitting on or near you during shape-shifting to ensure nothing else tries to inhabit your body.

6. When you are finished, make sure you are completely grounded in your human body.

Shape-shifting in witchcraft remains an enigmatic and alluring practice, intertwining myth, history, and contemporary spirituality. It offers a gateway to explore the depths of our own selves, connect with the primal forces of nature, and embark on transformative journeys of self-discovery. Whether through the exploration of archetypes, communion with spirits, or embracing the hidden aspects of our being, shape-shifting provides a mystical transformation that resonates with the essence of true witchcraft.

[ckret2]

The second dimension has just been burned; Bill—who's definitely an innocent victim in this situation and totally didn't have anything to do with the fire—is inside the nightmare realm "dream realm" with a bunch of dying shapes from the neighboring dimensions that also caught fire; like a million gods are at the scene of the fire trying to figure out what happened; and the Axolotl's just been hit with a nonstop barrage of cosmic horror. But he's about to face an even greater horror: watching politicians and contractors try to get a single task done.

Here, have a fic. It's part three of a series about the Axolotl witnessing the aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre before anyone's even figured out what happened or whose fault it is. Here's part one and part two.

####

Outside what used to be the incinerated wall named Dimension 2 Delta, what seemed like half a city's worth of gods had assembled within just a few hours: agents from the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force, concerned local politicians, firefighters, cops, paramedics, reporters, rubberneckers, and volunteers. The scene was one of simmering panic being just barely suppressed by training and professionalism: everyone there had a job to do, everyone there was focused on doing it, and none of them knew whether it would be enough.

Behind what used to be the incinerated wall named Dimension 2 Delta, where there was supposed to be an empty void with the point-sized Dimension Zero, there was now a multicolored cosmic foam, frothing and roiling nauseatingly in a way reminiscent of waking from a fever dream to discover that you're actively in a state of delirium and behind the wheel on the freeway. Only the Axolotl knew that, inside that foam, there was a mad dance party of the enslaved dead and dying, overseen by the party host ghost who called himself the Magister Mentium.

Neighboring what used to be the incinerated wall named Dimension 2 Delta, five 1D and 2D dimensions had been burned down to nothingness. The ATTF had just confirmed that a sixth had joined them, two more were well on their way to full incineration, and there were unconfirmed reports trickling in that efforts to contain the fire had failed and two more 1D dimensions were burning up like fuses. The flat and linear living beings of thousands of worlds had been rescued; shapes huddled together uncomfortably on 3D worlds, evicted ghosts haunted ghost worlds, and gods who had once seen themselves as above all mortal concerns now found themselves sitting shellshocked in an "above" they'd never imagined—and they were the lucky ones. The ones who hadn't burned up in the pale blue fires or fallen down into the eternal dance party.

And amidst it all—all the fear, the fire, the death, the panic—the desperate attempts by gods that didn't know each other or didn't like each other to find a way to make this right—those who thought a crisis of such interdimensional magnitude called for kindness and compassion verbally wrestling with those who thought it called for punishment and control—a Time Giant in a hard hat, whistling a country song she'd heard on the radio that morning, completely ignored everyone else there, strolled right up to the sickly swirling border of Dimension Zero as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and started looking around for the wall named Dimension 2 Delta she'd been called out to inspect.

She was dressed in goggles, a flannel shirt, sensible overalls, and leather work gloves. There were several tools strapped to her belt: a time tape measure, a space hammer, and a utility repair kit with patches and sewing needles for making quick mends to the fabric of reality. She eyed Dimension Zero's undulating border, glanced down at her tiny repair kit, and frowned dubiously. It seemed that the problem she'd been called out for was too big to hand stitch back together. She shrugged in resignation.

The cop who looked like a crab with two mushrooms growing out of his hollowed-out eye sockets smacked one claw against the cop made of two interlocked burning rings. "Hey. Is she supposed to be here?"

VENDOR turned, took in the Time Giant's appearance, and shouted, "Hello! Excuse me? What are you doing?"

She gestured with a thumb at Dimension Zero. "I was called about a prematurely crunched dimension. Here to do an inspection."

Irritably, VENDOR said, "You're supposed to be inspecting Dimension 2 Delta, not—this thing!"

"Well, I don't see D-2Δ around here. Looks to me like it's gone," she said. "Some jackass has been blowing up my office phone all day trying to rush me out here. I had to cancel three other inspections, call another guy in on his day off, and come out myself to get this over with so we can shut this guy up. So I ain't here to stand around painting my fingernails. Unless you can point me to D-2Δ, I'm gonna inspect the dimension that is here."

VENDOR, the jackass in question, said, "I'm the one who called you and I'm saying you can't go in!"

"Uh huh." Behind her goggles, the Time Giant's expression was completely unreadable. "Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go do my job."

The flaming rings whirled between the Time Giant and Dimension Zero's border, hundred eyes narrowed threateningly. "This is an active crime against reality! It's still under investigation."

"Then what was the big rush to get me out here!"

The argument was clearly audible over the general din as the Axolotl and the storm cloud with the ATTF returned from inspecting one of the many out-of-control fires. "Cops," the storm rumbled. "Hate cops."

The Axolotl's frills fluttered in agreement. "Interesting from an apocalypse cop."

Static crackled irritably over the cloud. "I prefer 'apocalypse agent.'"

As they caught up, the Time Giant was saying, "I ain't got time for this." She pulled out a length of time tape without unlatching the measure from her belt. "So when won't this place be an active crime scene?"

"Hold on!" The cloud flicked VENDOR's metal side with a lightning bolt to catch THEIR attention. The crack of thunder startled the Time Giant and cops into looking its way as well. To VENDOR, it snapped, "This isn't your investigation, back off." To the cops, it said, "And this is not a crime scene." To the Time Giant, it said, "I put in the initial call. Dimension 2 Delta spontaneously combusted; we want to know why. He says"—it gestured toward the Axolotl with a fork of lightning—"whatever's left of it is in there, so that might as well be where you start your investigation."

"Thank you," the Time Giant sighed. She let the tape snap back into place. "ATTF, right?"

"Right."

"I prefer to get my info from whoever's actually in charge of a dimension. So, we got any gods that can tell me about 2Δ—property owner, in-house maintenance...?"

There was suddenly a large wall of steel and glass in between the storm cloud and the Time Giant as VENDOR physically shoved THEIR way back into the conversation. "2Δ is in Lady Morgenstern's district, but she's still on vacation—(and apparently decided this incident wasn't worth coming back into the office for)—but, I am on the urban planning committee. If there's anything you need to know, you can talk to me. I can request any municipal records we have on 2Δ's construction and maintenance."

The Time Giant screwed up her mouth. "How long will that take?"

"A few hours, most likely."

The Time Giant's scowl deepened.

She wouldn't get anything useful from a career politician from a different district who knew bupkis about Dimension 2 Delta. The Axolotl said, "If you need somebody who personally knows 2Δ, I... might know someone. A mortal from the wall."

"Uh-huh." The Time Giant didn't look much less dubious about this offering. "It better be a mortal that's at least a quantum physicist. Preferably one with experience in dimensional maintenance."

"I... don't know." The Axolotl nearly added I don't think so—but he was growing less certain he knew what that triangle was capable of, and he didn't like his suspicions. "But—he is an eyewitness to Dimension 2 Delta's destruction from the inside."

The Time Giant chewed on that; then sighed, pointed at VENDOR, and said, "Okay, you request whatever files you can get," and pointed at the Axolotl and said, "In the meantime, I'll talk to your guy. Where is he?"

"Turn around, jumbo."

The group flinched in surprise. They turned toward the missing wall and the grotesquely bloated singularity behind it.

From the zeroth dimension's impossible border, the shining yellow triangle, hardly larger than a fleck of dust, blinked blearily out into the third dimension. He was holding a red plastic cup and wearing a party hat. He looked very much like a hungover homeowner trying to sign for a package at 7 in the morning.

They stared at him.

VENDOR demanded, "What in the world are you?"

"I'm a triangle," said the triangle. 

"You're not supposed to be in there. Get out."

"Hmm! Let me think! No!" He floated up to camera level with VENDOR, apparently not noticing he'd started tilting at an angle. "Why don't you make me?"

"How dare—! Do you know who you're talking to, mortal?"

"Nope. I only know the people worth knowing."

The Axolotl had to choke back a laugh as VENDOR's lights buzzed brighter with irritation.

The cloud quietly asked, "Your friend from 2Δ?"

The Axolotl nodded. "This is the Magister Mentium. He's the only survivor of Dimension 2 Delta. That I know of, anyway." He looked to the triangle, hoping he'd tell him that he was wrong—that the triangle's dancers really were his people from his own dimension.

But the triangle neither confirmed nor denied the claim. He just shot the Axolotl a dirty look. The Axolotl's heart sank.

"Are you sure he 'survived'?" VENDOR asked. "He doesn't appear to have a body. I don't think he's alive."

"What's with everyone's obsession with how alive I am today," the triangle griped. "Hey, worlds-for-guts! Come over here and I'll show you how 'lively' I can be."

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Beg harder."

The crab cop snapped his claws. "You think you can threaten a god? Better watch your mouth, mortal."

"Oh, now I'm mortal again!" The triangle laughed. "Hey, make up your minds! Am I dead or not?"

"I warned you—!"

The Axolotl quietly inserted himself between the two, muttering to the crab, "I'm sure I don't need to remind you that 2Δ isn't one of the dimensions hubris is illegal in?" From the corner of an eye, he could see the triangle pinching his fingers in mocking imitation of the cop's claw snaps. He blocked the triangle from the cop's view.

"It is up here—"

"He isn't up here. He's down there." The Axolotl stared at the crab until he backed off.

Throughout all this, the Time Giant was surveying the triangle dubiously, jaw set in an unimpressed line. Finally, she asked him, "Is uh—is your god home...?" (Even as tense as he was, the Axolotl had to fight back a chuckle. You could always tell when someone wasn't used to talking to mortals.)

"There's no gods here," the triangle retorted. "I'm the magister of this dream realm. So who're you and whaddaya want?"

No gods came up to smite the triangle for denying their existence, so the Time Giant shrugged and continued to address him: "Civil engineering inspector, cosmic structure maintenance. I'm here to figure out why D-2Δ collapsed, look over the place you're in now, see whether it's is up to code."

"Ugh, it's about time," the triangle groaned, as if he'd had any involvement in the Time Giant's appearance or any reason to expect her to be here. "According to these jokers, we got given a flimsy universe! Bad wiring or something!" (Had the triangle been eavesdropping on them the whole time?) "It'd explain a lot! The place wasn't very robust!" His irritated gaze circled the group of "jokers" in question—Axolotl, storm cloud, vending machine, the cops—then did a double take at the cop made of two flaming wheels. "Whoa, and I thought frills here was the freak. How many eyes do you have?" He squinted and started trying to count them. The rings rotated irritably and the triangle flinched. "You can shapeshift 'em. Wowww, optometrists must hate you."

The Time Giant waved a hand between the triangle and the rings to get his attention back. "So you are in charge of whatever's left of D-2Δ in there?"

"Of course he's not," VENDOR said. 

"Yep, that's me," the triangle said.

"Fantastic," said the Time Giant, loudly ignoring VENDOR. She pulled out a miniature clipboard strapped to the back of her toolbelt. "Then you get first priority in deciding what happens to the place, as long as it don't violate cosmic construction code. What's your ideal outcome here? Gut this dimension, clean out the rubble from D-2Δ, and rebuild somewhere else?"

"Don't even think about it," the triangle said. "Stabilize our dream realm."

VENDOR cut in again, "You can't expect to stay in there! A void at the center of the multiverse is no place for three million squatters—"

"You're way behind, Jack," the triangle said gleefully. "We're up to ten million now!"

THEY gasped in horror. "Ten million?!" THEY started cycling through THEIR stock of moons for one better sized for the population.

The request to stabilize the dimension gave the Time Giant pause, but before VENDOR could try to jump in again, she said, "Sure, got it." She made a note on her clipboard. "I'll look around, figure out if it can be repaired, make sure it isn't about to collapse around your ears—or whatever you have. Corners?"

"Great! I keep hearing this awful grinding noise! And the electromagnetism keeps flickering on and off! Can you do something about that?"

"I'm here to try," the Time Giant said. "Can I come in?"

The triangle hesitated. He looked to the Axolotl. "Hey, frills. Do you vouch for this freak?"

His gills fluffed in surprise at the question. Him? "Yes—she's a professional." The Apocalyptic Threat Task Force wouldn't have her on call if she wasn't dependable.

"All right," the triangle said. "Both of you come in. Welcome to the dream realm."

The Axolotl and Time Giant exchanged a look. She shrugged, scooped him into her arms like an oversized house cat, and headed into Dimension Zero.

####

"Wow. I've never seen nothing like this before." That was the fourth time the Time Giant had said that so far. (Two of them had been spent on the eternal dance party. She'd made eye contact with a square who was coughing an endless plume of black smoke out from around his dry and cracking eye, and the Axolotl—still being cradled in one arm—had felt her shudder before she deliberately turned away. If she was horrified, she was doing a better job of locking it away than the Axolotl had.) "Just moved in?" 

"Pretty recently," the triangle said. "I can't tell you exactly when! I abolished time."

"Probably for the best. This place is a real fixer-upper—I don't know if it could handle time." She had started poking and prodding as soon as she entered Dimension Zero—feeling the quality of the fabric of reality, flipping open invisible breaker boxes to inspect the fundamental forces. She paused as she peered into one box. "Where's the gravity?"

"Beats the heck outta me! I gave up looking for it. Think I like it better without gravity." The triangle had been weaving around her during her whole inspection. He was still clearly under the influence—but now, the Axolotl was less certain what influence he was under. The more the Axolotl saw him separated from his eternal dance, the less he looked like a partied-out drunk, and more like he was distracted to the point of dissociation. His voice fluctuated randomly between "loud" and "too loud." He tilted and zigzagged when he moved, drifted when he tried to hold still. He simultaneously flickered around the dimension like an indecisive quantum particle that couldn't figure out where it existed and maintained a steady, unblinking, spotlight-like stare at the Time Giant and what she was doing. "But the gravity's nothing. A while ago, the weak atomic force went out for like a whole week; you can imagine what a pain that was to get working again!"

She whistled under her breath. "Is this your first reno project? Should've started with something simpler, like a 2D universe, and worked your way up to 3D. 1D's beginner-friendly too; but honestly, with all the restrictions it's not worth it unless you're really creative with portals. 2D's a reasonably accessible middle ground."

"We came from a 2D universe," the triangle said. "After all the work we put into getting to the third dimension, I'm not about to go back!"

"Fair enough." She shifted the Axolotl from where she'd been carrying him in her arm to set him up on her shoulder so she could free her hands. He draped over her shoulder with his tail hanging down her back to watch as she shined a flashlight into the breaker box. There were five switches labeled in marker on tape, "ELECTROMAGNETISM," "STRONG WEAK ATOMIC FORCE" "WEAK  STRONG  WEAK  STRONG!!! ATOMIC FORCE," "????," and "???????? (DON'T TOUCH!!)" The weak atomic force switch was being held in the "on" position by a bundle of black rubber bands that, upon closer inspection, appeared to be made out of the triangle's own arms. The ???? switch had been replaced by a wormhole.

She prodded the wormhole with the butt of a pen. The triangle yelped and flinched. "Hey, whoa! If you're gonna get handsy, at least buy me dinner first!"

She stared at him, slowly shook her head, and muttered, "Never seen nothing like that before." She shut the breaker box. "Well, this place is no Goldilocks zone, but it's honestly kinda impressive it hasn't imploded yet."

"I'm taking that as a compliment!"

She put away her flashlight, pulled out her clipboard, and said, "So you mentioned a grinding sound. What's this grinding?"

"Right, that!" Now that she wasn't doing anything interesting worth watching, the triangle zoomed in front of her to make direct eye contact. "Every time I try to move, all of existence starts creaking and groaning."

"You're moving now and I don't hear anything."

The triangle rolled his eye. "I don't mean moving in here, I mean moving!"

She frowned.

The Axolotl suggested, "I think he's—at the center of the dimension. When he moves, we move... through the dimension. Perhaps he means when the dimension's literally moving with him?"

"Uh." The triangle squinted uncertainly. "Yyyes?"

"Huh. Dimensions shouldn't be moving." She unhooked her time tape from her belt, held it up in front of her, and said, "Can you move about... twenty lightminutes away?"

The triangle sighed heavily. "Yeah, sure." He zoomed off to the side. Existence seemed to zoom with him. The whole time he was moving, the Time Giant stretched out more of her time tape.

The Axolotl felt something very far away rumble.

"Is that all you needed, or are you gonna ask me to roll over and bark, too?"

"Haw haw," she said flatly. "Yeah, that's it." She glanced at the Axolotl. "How long did it feel to you like it took him to move?"

The Axolotl tried to think through the momentary vertigo. "Thirty, forty seconds?"

"Uh-huh. For him to move twenty lightminutes in thirty seconds, he'd be moving forty times the speed of light."

"Oh."

"Is that good?" the triangle called.

The Time Giant grimaced. "Well..."

"I can do it faster!"

"D—don't do it faster." She held up the time tape for the Axolotl to inspect. "Look at this."

Every measure mark on the tape was labeled 0 sec - 0 sec - 0 sec - 0 sec.

The Axolotl gave it a baffled look. "He did say he abolished time."

"Sure, but there's relative time, and then there's absolute time." Which was probably a statement that made sense to Time Giants, but all the Axolotl could guess was that she meant the time tape was not supposed to say zero seconds.

She let the tape retract and stroked her chin with a gloved hand. After a moment of thought, she said, "Lemme check something out."

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 3 of a probably-7-part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. Here's part one and part two if you missed it. I'm posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl slowly discover just how much of a monster that silly triangle he likes really is.

It's ALSO chapter 63 of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. I'm gonna fix the chapter numbering once I know how many chapters this plot is. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a oneshot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: okay, I lied that last week was the least horrifying chapter, but it's only because this chapter ran so long I decided to cut it in half. The horror comes next week. Enjoy this brief lull while everyone acts like this is a totally normal property inspection.

Anyway, lemme know what y'all think, and next week we're right back on the cosmic horror!)

[kpopfanfictrash]

Jingle All the Way Collaboration

Coming your way this holiday season! Whether you've been naughty or nice, you'll have seven fics to unwrap by @kpopfanfictrash , @leahsfavefics , @kithtaehyung , @yoonia , @cybrsan and @sugaurora.

All second chance romance. All holiday themed. All attempting to utilize the same quote: "The holidays aren't so bad with you around." Come down the chimney, embrace your inner Vixen, and warm up this season with the Jingle All the Way collab!

Content Creator: all amazing banners are made by the truly spectacular @kithtaehyung!!

(Links to be added as fics are posted)

Title: The Ten Days of Ex-Mas

Author: @kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin x Reader (f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; hockey player au, second chance au, oh noo there was only one bed

Summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Posting Date: December 19th, 2023

Title: All I Want for Christmas is Joon

Author: @leahsfavefics

Pairing: art historian!Namjoon x art historian!reader (f)

Rating/genre: m (18+) angst, fluff, smut, second chance au

Summary: You have had a rough year following the mutual break up with your grad school sweetheart. On a whim, you book a spontaneous trip to Europe for the holidays to help get you out of the funk you’re in and assert your independence. It would be great, if it weren’t for the fact that you keep bumping into your ex boyfriend.

Posting Date: December 21st, 2023

Title: Back to December

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au

Summary: Ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: A Christmas Fix

Author: @yoonia

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+), secret baby au, s2l au, fake dating au on the side (more on that later)

Summary: One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

Title: Everwinter

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; ex-fwb 2 lovers au, second chance au

Summary: You told him you loved him, and that was a mistake. Because years later, you both meet up with your old friend group for a holiday trip, and neither of you have forgotten that.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: Miracle of the Season

Author: @cybrsan

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; angel au, second chance au

Summary: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, a familiar face pops up and you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

Posting Date: December 29th, 2023

Title: A Porn Star's Guide to the Holidays

Author: @sugaurora

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); smut; second chance au

Summary: Jung Hoseok was your first love, a relationship that ended only because your post-high school dreams led you down two very different paths. Yours brought you to Jeon Jungkook, an innovative talent agent promising to produce the most well-loved adult entertainment artists of the era. And that’s how you became an erotic market darling, doing just about everything from outdoor gangbangs to golden showers and a long list of kinks in between.

Ten years later and you’re ready to find a new path, celebrating your exit from the business with one last appearance at the biggest adult industry convention of the year. Only when you arrive, you find yourself unexpectedly face-to-face with your high school sweetheart. Suddenly, you’re forced to confront where the years have taken you and feelings that may have never quite gone away.

What’s a former porn star to do?

Posting Date: TBD

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

WAIT I LOVE THAT PUSHUP FIC. can you do one with Gaz and the reader daring him to say their name in between push-ups, and Gaz catches on, but does it anyways.

10 / 1,186 words / takes place immediately after doing push-ups with Gaz

...

You watch Gaz from the corner of your eye, listening to him say your name in that low voice with each rep, grunting with concentration. Music to your ears. 

His toned arms are tense with each push-up he executes. Gaz doesn’t work out to be buff or get attention. It’s all about function and utility on the battlefield for him, which means he’s not one for showing off. But you appreciate it, and you can tell he notices it by the smirk curving his lips.

He knows what you're doing. He knows exactly why you made that little request of him.

"You want me to keep going?" he asks. 

"I have no problem with that.”

"Can't imagine you would."

"Hey. Less talking; more counting reps."

"Did I say I was in the market for a personal trainer?"

"I think you did, in fact," you tell him facetiously. You're still sprawled over his back, admiring how your weight barely seems to affect him each time he lowers and then pushes himself back up. "Lucky you have me here to keep you on track."

"Yeah, lucky me." He grunts a laugh and does another pushup. "Because that's my problem. Staying on track."

"I hear a lot of chatter and not enough saying my name between reps, mm?"

"Think I'd better stop doing that. You like it too much."

"And you said you wanted a challenge. Do you cut corners in the field, too? Does Captain Price know?"

He lowers himself again and holds at the bottom for a moment to increase the tension and stress on his muscles. "You're asking for it, you know that?"

You smirk, shifting yourself a little to fit more snugly against the curve of his back. "Are you threatening me, Gaz?"

"You wish." He chuckles, hardly sounding as winded as he should. "You'd be lucky for me to pay you that much attention."

He's not wrong. But still, the nerve.

Luckily, you notice you haven't heard him counting aloud, either. "What rep are you on now?"

He pauses at the bottom of his rep, then lifts up again, not quite as fast as before. "Sixty-three."

"Liar. You lost count, didn't you?"

"Of course not. You think you're really that distracting?"

You grin. "You said it, not me."

He pauses his rep at its apex this time. You glance at him, sensing the gears turning in his head. For a second, you wonder if you should be proud of yourself--if you've struck him speechless with your blistering wit.

Then he bends his elbow and drops one shoulder almost to the floor, dumping you unceremoniously off his back. You land ungracefully on your stomach with a gasp.

There's a strange look in his eye. Thirst for vengeance. You scramble to right yourself, but it's too late. Gaz drags you off the ground like it's nothing and pulls your back to his chest. He wraps his much thicker arm around your bicep and leans back, forcing your arm over your head in what you vaguely recognize as a submission hold.

You huff, trying to squirm free. His other arm comes around across your midsection to keep you in place. The fact that you're pinned in his lap doesn't escape you.

"Now who’s the distracted one?" His voice is right at your ear. "You want to tell me again how many reps I did?"

"Fifty-five. I counted."

His grip tightens. He leans back just a little more, causing your back to arch. "Try again."

You grab his arm with your free hand and try to dislodge it. Its no good. His arms are like steel. He doesn't budge an inch. 

"Told you you were asking for it." His breath is warm on the shell of your ear. "Count again. Or I'll turn this half nelson into a full nelson."

Your cheeks warm. "Perv."

"You started it. Or don't you want me to say your name again?"

"I have a perfectly innocent explanation for that."

"Let's hear it, then. Go on."

"Um." You squirm a little more in his hold. His breath in your ear is making you feel crazy. "It's actually... because..."

"Because?" He's smiling now, his arm tightening against your skin. You can feel every thick muscle in his biceps and forearms. "Because what?"

You struggle to keep some kind of half-baked explanation centered in your mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you can't think about his chest pressing flush to your back. Or his thighs squishing your ass. Or his arm around your midsection, so close to your breasts you swear he'd brush the underside if he so much as flexed.

"Because what?" He asks again, and his voice is so husky it makes you forget all your rational thoughts. "Tell me."

"... Sixty-three," you mutter.

He laughs, the rumble of it shaking his chest against your back. "So which one of us lost count, boss?"

"I did."

"Yeah, you did." He shifts, easing the pressure on your arm. He doesn't release it completely, though. "If you wanted to hear my voice so bad, there are better ways to ask, yeah?" His other hand begins to wander down your side. Your skin burns under your workout tank. "But if you want to be a cheeky little brat about it..."

Before you can react, he bites down on your ear. Not cute and flirty, but hard enough that it hurts. Especially when you squawk and try to pull away.

"Ow!" You shove your elbow into his solar plexus.

He lets go of your arm, gasping and wheezing with laughter as he leans back. You're both surprised at how much force you packed into that elbow jab.

He smiles, though. His heart is racing from adrenaline, and when he looks at you, all pouty and out of breath, he realizes it's a good thing he's not still holding you or he might really do something stupid. He likes how quick you are, how feisty.

"That's mean," you snap.

"And calling me a pervert wasn't?"

"No! And even if it was, your thing was worse."

"Oh, yeah?" His usual soft grin turns roguish. "You wanna get even? Bite me back?"

"Gaz!"

"Then you still owe me." He stands up, stretching until his tired arm muscles pop. "So I'd better see you here tomorrow, same time. What do you say?"

You stand slowly, watching him grab his gym bag. "What if I say no?"

"I'd say you're shirking your duties as my trainer. And my counterweight. Besides, you wouldn't skip a chance to have me say your name again." He pulls the straps up over his shoulders and winks at you. "Right, boss?"

You open your mouth and close it right back up again.

Gaz has just enough self-control not to bite his lip at that rather cute expression. "Good."

He walks away, leaving you red-faced and speechless behind him.

He's right. You'll definitely be back tomorrow.

...

part 1 / [part 2] / part 3 / part 4 / part 5

more Gaz / masterlist tag

[cowboyshadows]

the roommate problem

simon's roommates are always finding themselves smack dab in the middle of something troublesome, usually resulting in him having to clean up their messes. but with a pretty little thing surprising him at the door, maybe he doesn't wanna clean anything up anymore.

warnings: explicit oral sex. mdni

ROOMMATE FOR SPACIOUS 2 ROOM KITCHEN WANTED

>2 bedrooms, 1 attached and 1 separate bathroom (room up for offer has attached bathroom), 1 kitchen with all basic utilities including oven, apartment relatively clean

>three inhabitants already, so upon acceptance of application you will be sharing a room with one of us.

>must be non-smoker, cat-friendly, no parties in the house, okay with non-kosher and non-vegetarian food in the kitchen and house

>we have one cat. No parking spaces available in the complex, but there’s a lot of space on the street. Laundromat is right across the street. Complex location is one minute away from main street, where there is a mall and a lot of restaurants + cafes.

>no additional furniture required.

Followed by a few pictures of the flat in question: neat and tidy. Suspiciously neat and tidy, in fact, especially for a Craigslist ad. But you’d been looking for a flat for months now… beggars can’t be choosers.

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY

You stand at the door, phone in hand open to the screenshot of the ad. You’ve already rung the bell twice now — was it off? Just to make sure, you raise your hand to knock.

But before your hand lands three polite raps on the hardwood, it opens.

A tall, burly fellow with cropped blonde hair and eye bags meets your gaze. His expression hardens, and you can almost swear he’s frowning.

‘Can I help you?’ he grunts, in an accent so stereotypically Manchester it makes you want to laugh. But by the looks of this guy, you did not want to find out how he’d take that.

‘Uhh… the roommate ad?’ You hold your phone up awkwardly.

He furrows his blonde brows slightly. ‘Stand by.’ He slams the door in your face. Well, damn.

//

Simon walks — no, storms — into the bathroom to find Johnny and Kyle yakking away like frat bros at a rager. He grabs Johnny by the back of his t-shirt like a kitten held at the scruff.

‘I thought I asked you to delete the fuckin’ ad.’

Even as he’s one millimeter away from being shoved against the cold tiled wall behind him, Johnny smiles. ‘What the fuck are ya on about?’

He lets him go, crossing his arms across his torso like a disappointed parent. ‘The roommate ad.’

‘Is that who’s at the door right now?’ inquires Kyle. ‘What are you gonna do?’

Simon runs his hands through his hair. ‘Tell 'er we’re not interested, obviously. Wha’ else?’

He can almost see the cogs start to churn in Johnny’s mind the moment he used pronouns. ‘Wait, it’s a bird?’

Kyle and him share a look — much to his disdain, Simon recognises that look. ‘You can’t tell her to go away,’ says Gaz, less-than-innocent smile plastered across his face. Simon suddenly feels an itch in his fingertips to right-hook it off. ‘What if she’s hot?’

‘Is she hot, Simon?’ Johnny asks, feigning a professional manner. ‘It’s too good to be true.’

Before he can stop the both of them — rascals — they’re off to the front door. They’ve dropped the toothbrush and tube of paste in an almost cartoonish manner.

They scramble over each other in greetings when the door swings open.

//

You hear a flurry of heys and his and how do you dos when the door opens again.

There’s a man with a mohawk, and there’s a man with a little bit of toothpaste on the corner of his mouth.

‘I’m here about the room—’

‘The roommate ad, yes, we’re so happy. Finally.’ They’re both flashing grins at you, teeth bared.

They invite you in, give you a seat on the couch — ‘only the best in the house for our new roommate!’ — and scamper to bring you beverages. The best they can come up with is a mug of lukewarm water.

‘Thanks.’

They’re both sat from across you on the wooden coffee table. The man who had first opened the door for you is lurking behind them, his presence eerily bodyguard-like. You wish that his roommates’ eagerness was enough to make up for his inexplicable standoffishness.

‘You know, I don’t think we even need to ask you anything,’ the man with the toothpaste on his mouth says. ‘I’m Kyle, but most people just call me Gaz. This man is Johnny, and the blonde sourpuss is Simon. Welcome!’

You smile, albeit a little confused at how inviting they’re being. You introduce yourself, trying to make a good impression — your name, your job, why you need this apartment so badly, and so on. They seem to be making a good show of paying attention, nodding and active listening. But the man in the back is unyielding still.

‘Sounds great, lass. Think we’re gonna enjoy gettin’ ta know each other, eh?’

//

Simon’s managed to leech Soap and Gaz off of you long enough for a little huddle.

‘Listen to me. You two wan’ to get your peckers wet, you do it on your own time. Pub, datin’ app, I don’ care. Don’ bring someone into the house for this.’

Soap releases a gasp which is so disingenuous, it offends Ghost. ‘Lt, how could you say such a thing? We’re just trying ta help a pretty bird out.’

‘And if somewhere along the way she decides she’s a little lonely, who are we to deny her?’ The shit-eating grin on Kyle’s face is back.

Simon clenches his jaw. As much as he didn’t want some poor lass — who clearly cannot make good decisions, he judges, if she’s here to live with three men she doesn’t know — to be on the receiving end of whatever Soap and Gaz had planned… he knew ultimately it was better them relentlessly flirting than the actual danger out in the world. Besides, you seemed really desperate for a place. Maybe you wouldn’t even mind the occasional pick-up line.

//

It takes you roundabout one week to fully settle in. Simon hates it, but he insisted that you move in his room. He doesn’t trust Johnny or Kyle to be normal about an unconquered bird sleeping in the same room as either one of them.

Over the weeks, you learn way too much about him. That he refuses to use anything that’s not his leafy, strange, hippie, organic toothpaste. He’ll throw a fit of petulance if you so much as creak the door open while he’s sleeping.

That he absolutely doesn’t appreciate it when you snipe back with a ‘if you were really asleep, you wouldn’t notice’.

You’re lying in your bed, having stolen one of his t-shirts — oh, yeah, he hates that, too. At some point you figure he’s just gonna hate anything you do, so you don’t bother asking before. Worst roommate ever. — and staring up at the ceiling. It’s dark with the lights turned out, even though you know for a fact that the two of you are sound awake. Military habits die hard. You turn your head, trying to glimpse at any sign of life on the drab other end of your new room.

‘You up?’ Your voice is quiet — so quiet, that if he hadn’t been awake, same as you… he wouldn’t have heard it at all.

‘No.’ It’s resolute, final. What he doesn’t say in that one word is laid out by the picture of his eye-bags and grumpiness anyway.

‘I’m bored,’ you continue.

Nothing but a grunt. All he did was grunt sometimes, if he could help it. Maybe he was a horse in a past lifetime. But you would never say that out loud to him…

Well, never mind, actually.

‘A fuckin’ horse? Seriously?’ You can hear the creaking of his bed as his behemoth frame sits up, and you can almost picture the aghast expression on his exhaustion-addled face even in the darkness.

‘I don’t know. Maybe.’

You can hear the frustrated thump as he collapses back in his pillow. You can hear the shuffling of fabric as he holds the sides of his pillow to his ears, trying to block out your voice. But most of all, you can hear the tiniest bit of… something like amusement.

Which wasn’t hostile. That’s good, right?

You sit up slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows. ‘This is kind of like a forbidden sleepover. I can ask you anything I want.’

‘No, you can’t.’

‘Who has the biggest penis?’

You can almost hear the roll of his eyes in his little sockets. You fall back on your bed, sated with how much you’ve managed to grind his gears for the day. Productive.

‘It’s not Soap, tha’s for sure.’ His voice is quiet, small — but it’s playful. Light.

What the fuck have you unlocked?

You sit up so fast you swear you’re nauseous.

‘You didn’t answer my question.’

‘Well, birdie, I’m a humble guy. I don’ like to brag.’

‘Sounds like you’re bragging. Just say it’s you. I’ll leave you alone.’

That offer was entirely too enticing for him to pass up. ‘Okay, it’s me. Good nigh’.’

He can almost hear the wide-eyed, child-like grin forming on your face. This was never gonna be the end of the conversation. He’s opened Pandora’s box. He’s dangerously close to tip-toeing near the one unsaid boundary in female and male friendships fated to remain platonic.

‘How big is it?’

He groans. ‘Stop.’

‘Just tell me! Why can’t you tell me? I’m not gonna believe you otherwise.’

‘Fine, don’t believe me.’

You pout. To be fair, if he was telling the truth, he really shouldn’t care whether you believe him or not.

‘Please, Simon… please. Just tell me. Like, it can’t even be that shocking anyway.’

He refuses to respond. He can’t. He simply won’t. Because he knows if he responds, the boundary won’t just be crossed — it will be cut with big old inaugural scissors.

‘If you say anything over eight inches, I’m gonna laugh at you.’

You were annoying. Ever since you had moved in, if he had to describe you with one word — it would be annoying.

All you do is watch that one show. He doesn’t understand what more you’re looking for in the show. It’s given you its heart, kidney, liver… and all you do is run it back again. Wring it in its maw over and over again for drops of easter eggs, or forgotten dialogue. If that’s not bad enough, he has to endure Soap and Gaz constantly grovelling for attention. Pretending to pay attention to the television as they watch yet another episode, but he knows they’re really just trying to cop a feel.

You constantly make them bad food. You try so hard, it’s endearing pathetic. Every time he takes a bite out of yet another over-salted parmesan, he finds himself wishing his mother had done this for him when he was a kid you would pick out a new hobby instead. Besides the lack of wanting to hurt you, he couldn’t even come close to insinuating that you were anything less than Gordon Ramsay. Soap and Gaz would proper vilify him, and he didn’t have the energy to fend those baboons off.

You had turned the house into this potpourri of floral, honey, and fruit aromas. This one he can’t complain about, though, because earlier it was a potpourri of sweat and energy drinks. As much as he’d like to, he also can’t pin the blame entirely on Soap and Gaz.

‘Just show me.’

He should’ve expected it from you. Really. Obviously, that was the natural next question. His brain understands it, understands what this is: you just being a curious, nosey little—

But tell that to his dick. Caveman-like, embarrassing, unprofessional. It has the audacity to grow hard right now. Goddammit.

‘Please, Simon. Please, please, please.’

It’s not possible, but he somehow wants to bury his face deeper into his pillow. How you had wandered into this territory by yourself was commendable, he had to admit. And all the while you had the purest of intentions, too.

‘Fine. Don’t show me. I’m just gonna assume you’re a lying, small-penised, insecure man.’

He counts down in his head — one, two, three — until your voice comes through again.

‘I’m only asking, like… for science. Please.’

‘What science could possibly benefit from you seeing my penis?’

‘You don’t know. There’s so many new sciences now. They’ll make anything into a science.’

‘Wha’ the fuck are you on about.’ It’s not a question. He’s entirely too tired to question your near-delirious ramblings right about now. And he’s also too turned on to put an end to this. Of all the people to betray him, his dick was the final boss. What a shite way to go.

‘Just once. I just need to know. To satisfy my curiosities.’

His dick stirs in a way that he can’t think straight. Can’t trust himself to respond in a normal, gruff way.

‘Satisfy might not have been the best word to use,’ you add, your voice void of inflection.

‘I won’t ever bring it up again. Scout’s honour.’

You’re bringing it up right now, birdie is what he wants to say. What he really, really wants to say, so that maybe you’ll take pity on him. Leave him be, sleeping with his dick so hard he feels dizzy. Maybe it’ll be gone in the morning.

Instead, what he says is, ‘will you leave me alone?’ Damn caveman brain.

He can hear the excited ruffle of sheets as you sit up. A conflict of interest. ‘Yes. I’ll stop stealing your clothes, and I’ll do all your chores for a month.’

‘Make tha’ three months, and minus your cooking.’

‘Ouch. Wait, why am I doing all this just to see your penis? Never mind. It’s too late. Just give it to me, captain.’

He huffs. You were so… cute adorable pretty hot petulant.

Reluctantly, he sits up. He’d try to tell himself all the reasons you shouldn’t show your very erect penis to your roommate right about now, but all the blood supposed to be delivered to his brain was flowing southwards.

‘I’m gonna turn the lights on for five seconds.’

‘What? I can’t live with that. I’ll barely see anything. Make it thirty.’

‘Ten. Final offer.’

‘Okay, fair game.’

Again, reluctantly — he was lying to himself, at this point — he slowly tugs at the drawstrings of his sweatpants.

‘Are you hard?’

He grunts, which you take to mean yes in his own, special, weird, little language. ‘Ten seconds, lass. That’s it. And then you never bring it up again.’

‘Plus the chores.’

He grunts again, but really only because he didn’t wanna let show the effect your eagerness was having on him. Why did you want to see it so bad? The wonders of the female mind is one tough bomb he will never manage to defuse, and he’s made his peace with it.

He reaches towards the little switchboard, and keeps his hand on the light switch like it’s a trigger on the gun.

‘Here it comes. Not comes. Fuck.’

The sound of your soft chuckling is cut short the moment the lights turn on. He barely has time to register everything your expression is doing for his dick before he realises he’s supposed to be counting the seconds in his head.

One, two, three, four, five, six — for good measure — and his finger flicks it back off. Darkness. Silence.

‘Shut up.’ Your voice is a whisper.

‘I didn’t say anythi—’

‘Shut up! What the fuck, Simon? Why would you do that to me?’

His face scrunches up, and he’s immediately so annoyed he almost forgets his dick is still out.

‘You asked me!’

‘I’m never gonna be able to look at you the same way again! Oh, my god. Stop. I hate you. You hate me.’

‘Which one is it?’

‘Both!’ You make this adorable squeaky growling sound.

He puts his dick back in his pants, wincing a little from the friction. He lies back down. It’s all so surgical, his movements. Like he didn’t just shatter whatever semblance of a roommate relationship he had with you.

He feels a soft, unfamiliar hand grazing his forearm. He opens his eyes, to find you sitting down on the floor at his bed.

‘No.’

Your open mouth falls shut again. ‘You didn’t even hear what I was gonna say.’

‘The answer is no, birdie.’

You pout. Jesus, he hated you. But mostly, he hated himself for how his dick was reacting to that pout. The pucker of your soft, slightly wet lips, glistening close to his face even in the dark… fuck.

You huff. ‘Fine.’

He rolls over, so he doesn’t have to look at you. Also, so his dick doesn’t accidentally impale you, on the off-chance you decide to climb up.

‘What did you think I was gonna ask, anyway?’

‘I don’t know.’

You scoff. ‘Maybe I had an interesting proposition.’

His expression, unbeknownst to you, is anguished. He wants more than anything to be helped. Hell, he was close to taking matters into his own hands at this point. But he was a gentleman. Kind of.

He can feel the slight depression of your head laying on the mattress beside him. ‘Simon.’

‘What.’

‘Please.’

‘I don’ know wha’ you want from me.’

‘You know exactly what I want from you.’

‘I’m not gonna give it to you.’

‘Why not?’ Your voice is petulant, whiny. Very unattractive. But for some reason, his dick thought it was opposite's day.

‘Because,’ he rolls over, looking you in the eye, ‘we’re roommates. Nothing more. So quit it, and go back to bed.’

You pout again. Jesus, one more of those and he’d properly fold. For his sake, he almost considers telling you that so you might find it in yourself to be kind to him.

‘This is mutually beneficial, you know. You are very much maidenless.’

He snorts. ‘Maidenless? Hop off the Elden Ring, love.’

‘You are. I know for a fact.’

‘I don’t need a maiden.’

‘Perhaps a vixen, then, kind sire?’

He rolls his eyes. ‘I love it when you talk dirty to me.’ His tone is deadpan, lacklustre.

He hears you huff, and much like he had feared slash suspected, you hop on his bed to sit next to him. He rolls over again.

‘It’s not like anyone has to know.’

‘No, lass. You’re not gonna wear me out.’ You might.

He feels your hand rest delicately on the ridge of his back, and trace up to rest on his shoulder. He feels a chill go down his body, and an almost violent throbbing in his dick. He can hear it scream just shag her, already.

He’d be doing himself a favour, obviously. He was, as accused, maidenless. Between work, and cleaning up after the hooligans that were his roommate, he didn’t have the time nor the energy to stick his dick anywhere. Except his own hand in the shower, apparently.

‘Please, Simon. Just once, as a trial period. You don’t like it, you get a full refund.’

One way to tell he’s so hard he might pass out from the lack of blood circulation to his brain, other than the obvious pressing issue behind the fabric of his pants, is the fact that he’s mulling this over.

And quite frankly, right now? He can’t come up with a single reason why he should turn you down.

Never mind the dozen rom-coms you’ve left playing in this house about this exact kind of arrangement failing. That’s all movies — in real life, it’ll be different. Obviously.

He slowly rolls over, and you take that as your cue to flip the light switch back on. Even through his sweatpants, the outline of his bulge was very, very obvious.

‘You have a problem, and I can take care of it. Just give in to me.’

He looks up at the ceiling aimlessly, almost contemplative. But really, he’s just mentally preparing himself. This is it. This is the moment that’s gonna be like flipping a switch in his life.

You see as his chest sinks down with a shaky exhale. ‘Okay.’ His voice is quiet, small. Sheepish. Strained. Defeated. Do your worst, vixen.

You string your lower lip between your teeth. The sight of that has him feeling the pre-cum seep out under his boxers.

//

For some goddamn reason, it’s two am. He could be sleeping right now, you know.

But instead, he lies on his bed. Elbows propping him up, allowing him to see none other than his roommate nestled between his thighs.

You tug at his sweatpants. ‘Can I…?’

He nods, gulping his words down. He didn’t want you to know just how bad he wanted this. He’d just let his boner do the talking.

You pull his arousal free, and wrap your hand around him. He hisses at the stimulation, elbows immediately giving out. He lightly falls back flat again.

Slowly, you give him one, languid, tantalising, light stroke. He’s biting his tongue.

You bring your palm up to roll over the sensitive head, the translucent beads of pre rolling down his shaft.

‘I’m gonna use my mouth now, okay?’ you say, tone gentle. He nods, a little more frantic than he would like to admit.

When he feels the sensation of your warm tongue swirling around the tip of his cock, he damn near gives out right then and there. Fuck pride. Fuck masculinity, or whatever. All semblance of self-control was threatening to fly out the window.

But he needs to see if there’s more where that came from. Your tongue keeps moving over his entire length, and he groans. A string of expletives leave his mouth, muttered under his breath.

Finally — finally — you wrap your lips around him. Your soft, wet, warm mouth envelopes him. All in one go, and he sucks in a breath so sharp he’s afraid his lungs will burst.

Your muscles gag around him as his tip brushes the hilt of your throat, but you don’t relent. His mind is clouded, vision filled with white dots. He couldn’t tell if this was some sort of torture, or reward.

The tight coil in his belly threatens to snap at any moment now. It’s there when you move your mouth slowly up and down, sight of the white ring around his length following your lips holding his gaze. It’s there when you increase your pace, paws gripping at his thighs for balance. It’s there when you pull yourself off his length, opting to suck at his scrotum while you work him with your hand.

‘Bird, fuck… fuck, stop. Stop, stop, stop…’

You immediately pull yourself off of him. Your lips are swollen. The sight of that makes him want to push your head right back down on him.

You almost think for a moment that maybe you did something wrong. Grazed him with your teeth, maybe. But the way his irises are damn-near black right now, and the way he’s panting… yeah, you get the hint.

‘Just… just give me a minute.’

You nod, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. ‘Take as long as you need.’

He buries his face in his hands, groaning. His dick twitches, still standing needy.

Eventually, he brings himself to look at you. ‘Come here.’

You furrow your brows. ‘What?’

‘Damn it, lass. Just come here.’ He gestures towards himself. Unsure of what he’s asking of you, you cautiously crawl closer towards him. Before you can even ask for clarification, his hands dig into the sides of your waist and pull you impatiently over his face.

You squeal softly, and you feel the indent of his nose and lips burying into the fabric of your shorts. ‘Simon.’

He makes a shushing sound, hands still gripping your sides feverishly to keep you from moving. After a few shaky breaths — that you suspect are sniffs — drawn in, he loosens his grip on you. You raise yourself a little higher, and he immediately pulls your shorts to the side - hooking his fingers underneath the fabric to hold them apart.

‘Fuck… let me taste you.’

This was horny Simon, you presumed. Very different from his usual demanding self.

‘Only if you ask nicely.’

He growls. ‘Please, let me taste you. Please.’ The last one was just for good measure.

‘Okay.’ He lowers you down onto his face, and you wonder what his plans are regarding his breathing. You’d think your pussy pumped out oxygen the way his mouth and nose was buried in it right now.

Your hands tug at his blonde locks, urging him to do something other than just stay there. ‘Simon, please…’

He can take orders. Yeah, he can definitely do that.

The next better part of an hour is spent with you squirming in his tight grasp, perched on his face as his tongue manages to ravage your sopping folds. You can hardly tell from when he’s switched his movements up — sucking at your clit like some sort of powered vacuum, flicking his tongue at it like a man starved, and his tongue pushing its way inside your core.

The room is filled with your whimpers and strained gasps, as you try not to wake Soap and Gaz up. But surely, they wouldn’t blame you.

‘Tha’s it, birdie… just ride my face like that, yeah…’ His deep voice vibrates throughout your core. ‘Fuckin’ usin’ me, aren’t you just? Little slut… your cunt tastes so sweet, lass.’

His praise only serves to egg you on, leading you closer to your climax. It only takes a few more expert flicks of his tongue to bring you right over the edge, your body trembling as the intensity washes you over.

He doesn’t stop even then.

‘One more, birdie. You can give me one more, can’t you?’

Echoes of good girl and I know she had it in her ring out as you experience the same peak for the second time. He finally relaxes his grip on you, slowly easing you back to lie down.

Your face is flushed, cheeks running warm at the encounter. He wipes his face on the back of his hand, sitting up to closely observe you. Despite himself, he has a smug look on his face.

‘Tire you out, then?’

‘Piss off.’

He chuckles, and climbs over you. He slots himself between your legs, and brings his mouth to your neck. ‘I’m far from done with you, vixen.’

[idolomantises]

What do you think of The Owl House? Like, I liked and respect Dana a lot for what she's accomplished, but I also feel like everyone is just pretending that the show doesn't have any problems, as I felt that the cast was always very poorly developed from the beginning.

I like the show, I don't love it, but i think it's pretty good. TOH has a lot of really cool world building and lore, but I also found a lot of the characters really lacking. Three of my biggest annoyances were Luz, the characters having altered personalities after one episode and the underutilization of Luz's friends.

I think Luz is actually a great protagonist, my issue is when the show really loves to tease her as this flawed and morally complicated protagonist when... she isn't? any time she does something bad, its completely accidental. It's funny when the show first came out and people negatively compared her to Mabel because Mabel actually did make a lot of selfish and careless decisions that she had to grow from.

The show also had a bizarre habit of giving characters new personalities after their first appearance, and I think Amity is the worst offender of this. Her first appearance she's the generic mean girl bully, and this is used to create conflict and for Luz to befriend Willow. But then after that, all of a sudden she's super "cold" and keeps to herself, and the characters act like she's just the popular quiet girl? and then the show has the audacity to blame a lot of the bullying Amity did on her friends and parents. I have no clue why the flashback episodes portrayed it like Amity just watched as her friends bullied Willow, SHE was a part of that! Similar issue with Hunter. Introduced as a snarky brat, and then his next appearance he's incredibly angsty and depressed so the audience could sympathize with him. Willow and the Collector were also ones that stuck out to me, but it was a change that was subtle enough that I didn't notice.

I don't know why writers do this. I like it when your characters are messy and flawed, give them unlikable traits so we can watch them slowly be better people. Don't tell me someone is flawed and then don't give them flaws and don't tell me to sympathize with a character by just giving them a new personality.

I think everyone is pretty aware of how poorly utilized Luz's friends are but there are seriously so many episodes where I was like "why aren't Willow and Guz taking Amity's place". They really feel like a studio mandate.

Also Lumity is kind of boring but honestly, I don't really think its as big of a deal as some fans think it is. Lots of cartoons have straight couples that quarrel, get together and their relationship isn't the most compelling in the world, but its still pretty cute. If anything I do wish Amity would work through her issues more than have what little personality she had disappear when she dated Luz.

With your point about how fans handle criticism, admittedly I think part of the reason why people don't want to admit the show's problem is because Disney fucked it over MASSIVELY and it feels like punching down (at least to them). I think there's a very common mentality of "is it fair to criticize a show that never really got a chance to fully find its stride?"

But I also know this is just a massive problem with shows that have queer characters in general. There's just this prevalent attitude that if you have a problem with a piece of media that also happens to have queer characters, it means you're "ungrateful" or trying to insult it on purpose. Though personally, I think TOH fans are a lot better at handling and giving criticism.

[borderlinereminders]

The DBT Cope Ahead skill is the one that I found most helpful at the beginning of my journey. Though this did involve some knowledge of others skills to do, it helped me be prepared for strong emotions and tough situations.

One of the things I recommend the most when giving advice is planning ahead. Planning out grounding techniques or coping skills that you can use to make it easier to recall and use those skills in stressful situations. This skill does that, but also makes plans for specific situations.

This skill is intended to help us plan for certain situations that invoke certain feelings. It can help us be prepared for stress. This goal of this skill is to formulate a plan so that we can effectively use our skills.

Step One - Think of a situation that may spark uncomfortable emotions.

This might be one that you know you've had before (like a struggle in a relationship, or something you struggle to cope with, or any number of things you think you could use help preparing for.) Then describe the situation. When describing the situation, try to identify feelings you think would be likely to come up. If relevant to you, what urges may come up as well? Perhaps you know that in the past you've felt angry. Maybe you know you've had a panic attack before. Maybe you know you've had urges to do something destructive.

Step Two - Decide what coping or skills you might use

For me, I sit down and I think about what the problems are, and then I look at how I can solve those problems.

If you know that you feel angry, how could you cope with that? For me, I know that walking away to collect my thoughts is the best way for me to handle my anger so I might write down that's what I'd do. I also may know I'd have urges to say something harmful, or lash out. In that case, I'd write down that I'd use my urge surfing skill.

If it's a relationship issue, what skills could you utilize to solve the problem? Skills like DEAR MAN can be effective for communicating effectively. Other interpersonal skills may also be useful here! FAST and GIVE are two others ones I like to use.

If I know I'll struggle to make a decision on what to do, I might also plan to use a skill like WISE MIND.

If it's something like I know I spiral anytime a friend cancels a plan, or something like that, I might familiarize myself with Check the Facts.

There are a lot of DBT skills, and coping methods outside of DBT that can be useful. Planning ahead can make it easier to recall what skills to use, and having practiced them beforehand can help make them easier to apply in a stressful situation.

Step Three - Imagine the scenario and rehearse how you'd handle it.

How do the skills you've picked fit into the possible situation? If it's a skill like WISE MIND, or DEAR MAN that have multiple steps to them, maybe write out how those steps may play out.

Practice this until you feel you could apply this skill. It's okay if this step isn't perfect. In fact, it's normal. It's okay to need to try and it a few times. It's okay for this skill to be a work in progress.

See below the read more for an example situation:

Step One - I know my friend has mentioned coming down with something. It's really possible that she cancels our plans this weekend. I know that if that happens, despite there being a valid reason, I start spiraling and thinking that she hates me. This spiraling can lead to me panicking, or lashing out.

Step Two - One way I can cope is to use my Urge Surfing skill to resist my urges to lash out at her. I can also use Check the Facts so that I can challenge the irrational thoughts. Another way I cope is by re-reading screenshots that affirm that she cares about me. If I still feel it's not resolved, I can ask my friend for reassurance in a healthy, non confrontational way.

Step Three - If my friend cancels my plans, I will tell her "Thank you for letting me know. I'm disappointed I won't get to see you, but I really hope that you feel better soon!"

Then I will step away to collect my thoughts, and take some deep breaths. I might use my 54321 method to ground myself. If I begin having urges to lash out and say "Okay, I get that you don't want to see me", I'll use my urge surfing skill and remind myself that I can ride this wave. Having an urge doesn't mean I need to act on it, and then I will remind myself it will pass.

I will open up the note on my phone that walks me through Check the Facts. Using this skill will help me challenge my thoughts. It will remind me that my spiraling thoughts that she always cancels and doesn't want to see me aren't true because she hung out with me recently. The fact that it feels she always cancels doesn't mean it's true. I might realize that while my emotions are valid, they don't "fit the facts". If I'm struggle to check the facts, I will reach out to my other friend to help me check the facts.

If after this, I am still feeling insecure or like spiraling, I might reach out to my friend and say 'Hey, I'm having a bad brain day. When you have some energy, could you please give me some reassurance?"

I might also ask if we can plan another hang out for when she's feeling better. Having a future plan might help my anxiety.

Knowing she is sick means she might not have the energy to answer me, and I will be prepared with other coping methods if that happens so I don't spiral. I will reach out to my other friend, put on a comfort show to distract myself, or use another self-soothing technique.

[glowupwithamy]

Finish what you started and transform your productivity

Recently i picked up a book i hadn't read in a long time for the past week i hadn't been able to work properly my tasks were going unfinished so i opened my cupboard and saw that book right in front of me. Then i read the whole book in just a one night and it sparked inspiration in me ..So i thought why not share everything i learned with all of you?

So I'm giving you guys a structured summary of Finish The Art of Following Through - Taking Action, Executing & Self Discipline by Peter Hollins -

1. The Importance of Execution

The ability to follow through allows you to create the life you desire rather than settling for the one you currently have. The process consists of focus, self-discipline, action, and persistence

2. Barriers to Follow Through

- Inhibiting Tactics: These include setting bad goals, procrastination, succumbing to distractions, and poor time management.

- Psychological Roadblocks: These encompass laziness, fear of judgment or failure, perfectionism driven by insecurity, and lack of self-awareness.

3. Staying Motivated

To remain motivated holds both external and internal motivators -

- External Motivators: These involve utilizing other people or resources to encourage action, such as accountability partners upfront investments and self bribery

- Internal Motivators: These focus on understanding personal benefits and improvements. Ask yourself questions such as How will this benefit me? and How will my life improve?

4. Developing a Manifesto

A manifesto is a set of daily rules that guide your actions so her are the some key rules -

- Rule 1: Identify if you’re acting out of laziness and avoid it.

- Rule 2: Limit yourself to three major tasks per day.

- Rule 3: Establish daily limitations and requirements

- Rule 4: Reaffirm your intentions through statements like I want I , will and I won't

- Rule 5: Reflect on the future consequences of not following through

- Rule 6: Utilize the concept of "just 10 minutes" to push through discomfort.

5. Follow Through Mindsets

- Mindset 1: Recognize the worthiness of your efforts.

⭐ Mindset 2: Become comfortable with discomfort.

- Mindset 3: Understand that learning comes from completing tasks.

- Mindset 4: Manage stress and anxiety effectively

6. Overcoming Procrastination

Procrastination can be managed through strategies such as:

- Temptation Bundling: Combine unpleasant tasks with enjoyable activities.

- Creating Momentum: Make starting tasks as easy as possible to gain momentum.

- Leveraging Fear: Use productive paranoia to spur action but cautiously

7. Minimizing Distractions

Create a work environment free from distractions and focus on

⭐ Single Tasking: Avoid multitasking to eliminate attention residue ( I will also create a separate blog on this topic i used to face this problem earlier and i have used many methods to reduce my habit of multitasking so i will write a blog about it. Don't worry )

- Batching Tasks: Group similar tasks to improve efficiency.

- Creating a Don't-Do List : Identify tasks to ignore and avoid ( This method is literally too much helpful )

8. The 40–70 Rule

This rule suggests acting when you have 70% of the necessary information as waiting for 100% is unrealistic

9. The Importance of Rest

Recognize the value of rest and relaxation as essential for mental recovery

10. Common Pitfalls

- False Hope Syndrome: Avoid unrealistic expectations and set achievable goals.

- Overthinking: Avoid excessive rumination and focus on taking action.

- Worrying: Concentrate on the present and control what you can.

11. Developing Daily Systems

Establish daily behaviors that promote consistency and long term success

⭐ Keep a Scoreboard: Track progress for motivation ( Ive been using this method for the past four days it literally shows me where I am making mistakes and what I need to do to complete my unfinished tasks )

By following these structured advice you can improve your ability to finish what you start and achieve your goals

If you have any questions or tips to share feel free to drop them in the comments in here to chat , Stay connected for more tips and insights thanks :)

[incorrectbatfam]

In honour of today's WFA episode what else does Bruce keep in his utility belt?

Dick: Batman, what if I told you I lost my escrima sticks in the harbor?

Bruce: *pulls out another pair*

Bruce: Let me know if you need more.

———————

Jason: My other helmet exploded.

Bruce: Second-to-left pocket.

Jason: It's not there.

Bruce: My left, not yours.

Jason: This is why we have communication problems.

———————

[on a stakeout]

Tim: Crap, camera's dead. B?

Bruce: Watch your language. Single-lens or digital?

Tim: Uh.... any action cameras?

Bruce: Do I look like I have everything?

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce: Here are the three latest models, take your pick.

———————

Damian: Father, I sense an animal in need.

Bruce: *sighs*

Bruce: *pulls out a bag of dog treats*

Damian: Actually, I think it's a cat.

Bruce: *pulls out a can of cat food*

———————

Duke: Thanks again for getting us an early showing of the new Spider-Verse movie.

Bruce: Of course, Duke. I've been looking forward to it too.

Duke: Should we buy some snacks?

Bruce: It's okay, I got this.

Bruce's belt: *popcorn popping*

Bruce: You want butter with that?

———————

[at a breakfast diner]

Stephanie: I love this place, but I really wish they hadn't discontinued the pumpkin spice syrup.

Bruce: *pulls out a bottle*

Bruce: You mean this one?

———————

Barbara: I've been meaning to read the latest in this trilogy but all the library books have been checked out for weeks.

Bruce, taking out two books: Hardcover or paperback?

Barbara: Hardcover, but how did you get it autographed?

Bruce: My belt has connections.

———————

Margie: Not to toot my own horn, but my children have this recital in the bag.

Bruce: Oh yeah?

Bruce: *pulls out Cass's trophies*

Cass: Dad why—

———————

Alfred: Master Bruce, I know I'm asking a lot of you, but could you keep an eye on the oven for five minutes?

Bruce: Sure.

Bruce: *takes out a pocket drone*

———————

Bruce: If you reach into my belt, you might find a little surprise.

Selina: Really, now?

Selina: *reaches in*

Selina: ...The Bat Shark Spray?

Bruce: You never know!

[nihilistem]

adhd study tips.

by a stem student with adhd.

disclaimer!!! I’m by no means an expert in mental health or adhd but I do happen to have it. My intention with this post is to help others with adhd get more comfortable with studying so the process will be smoother for them!! At the end of the day, despite having the same disorder our brains will still work differently so do keep in mind that these may or may not help you, but are something you can try out if you’re stuck on not being able to study efficiently.

here’s some adhd study affirmations + tips on straying from discouragement if you’re experiencing burnout.

(And here’s part 2 of adhd study tips.)

I’ll start this off by listing more commonly known study tips that also work well with adhd.

change up your environment every now and then. we seek novelty even more than neurotypical people already do so switching it up will definitely help in our studies, especially if the place is well lit!

try some questions of the topic you’re trying to learn even when you know nothing about it. both neurotypical and neurodivergent brains are hardwired to remember things when we are proven wrong, and this is a great way of utilizing this neurological response!

take walks, exercise or stretch during your breaks. this tip is very effective at satiating our hyperactivity and also keeps us energized throughout our study session.

keep a notebook for your brain dump / ideas. we always either think of really stupid things or the most brilliant ideas in the middle of our study sessions and it almost always leads to distraction, but writing it down somewhere lets your brain know that the idea isn’t going anywhere and you can continue studying.

now, onto the tips that have personally helped with my adhd (and I haven’t seen many others talk about.)

alternate between various study plans, routines, schedules and techniques and always be open to finding more of them. majority of the time people always say ‘have a routine that works for you and stick with it’ but our adhd brains get bored very quickly, especially when it comes to repeated routines and schedules. I personally never stick to the same routine or plan more than three days in a row and sometimes I even make a plan on the spot and I’ve been more productive doing that than when I had only one or two study routines to switch between.

do not time yourself at the very beginning. Instead, focus on something in your studies you’re interested in and start there. what do I mean by this? well, since starting is always the hardest, when we begin our very first pomodoro we might find ourselves spending the first 25 minutes zoning out on a textbook just to get that ‘study time’ in even though you didn’t actually learn or recall anything. So to combat this, begin with something you’re genuinely curious about, or ask a question you can’t help but wonder the answer to. Once you find the answer, you might find you’re more in the zone and can continue from there. If not, take a short break and begin the pomodoros afterwards.

if you’re zoning out while reading up on a topic, try walking around while reading, looking at different sources on it or do some questions on that topic. again, novelty always gets us every time. sometimes the problem may be that the explanation in front of you isn’t making sense in your head and other sources may phrase things in a way that is better for your understanding. perhaps the problem is that you’re staying too still and you need to satisfy the hyperactive part of your adhd. or maybe your brain subconsciously believes that they already know what needs to be known about this topic, and there’s no better way to test that by trying out some questions on it.

switch between lyrical and non-lyrical music playlists, but make sure the lyrical music inspires you to excel. this definitely won’t apply to a lot of people but I found that when I constantly listened to piano, lo-fi or just non-lyrical music while studying in general, it actually promoted my likelihood of zoning out. but recently I found a playlist I deeply resonated with that was related to my studies called, ‘pov : a try-hard mid student who wants to ace everything’ and because I related very deeply with both the title and the lyrics of the songs, I was actively being encouraged to study as I was studying. but I also recognize when I really need to think in certain areas and that’s when I switch back to the non-lyrical music.

this is all I have as of right now but please do lmk if you guys want more of these!! I really wanna help out as much people as possible because my studies suffered greatly due to both my adhd and my late diagnosis of it and I’d love to help out others going through something similar.