#three people did bookmark it but what does that mean

[distancingreality]

it’s finally 2025 and to celebrate I wanna shout out myself for writing a Jeb/Wanda Crack Fic it's the principle of the matter (the pinnacle from which I fall) in 2024 that has gotten 309 views collectively on A03 and FF.net and 0 comments but 1 kudos

truly one of my favorite fics I wrote last year 👍 glad I did it. don’t regret it for a second.

[celestial-sphere-press]

Book Decoration: AKA All The Ways I Don't Use a Cricut

(this post is for people who don't want to buy an expensive cutting tool, or for those that do have an expensive cutting tool that would like to mix things up a little)

1. Print That Shit

If you're already printing your own textblocks, an easy step for titles is to print them. Above is a title printed onto an "obi" of decorative paper. I measured out where I wanted things on the finished book and laid it out in Affinity, then printed it on a full sheet & trimmed it down to wrap around the book. A more simple method is to print & glue on the label into a slight indent in the cover (to protect it). A third option is to do the spine in bookcloth, while you print on paper for the cover and then glue that paper onto the boards (this usually looks even better when it is a three-piece bradel bind).

2. Foil Quill / Heat Pens

The heat pen is one of my go-to tools, but it can be a bit touchy about materials. The most popular version is the We R Memory Keepers' Foil Quill (which is one of the most ergonomic), but other pens exist that can get you to a higher heat temp, finer lines, or more consistent foil. For example, I have a pen created by a local Japanese bookbinding studio that fares way better on leathers than the WRMK quill & with a finer tip, but it's hell to control. Best results in general are on paper or smooth bookcloth (starched linen, arrestox, colibri - even duo will work but its less solid). The fuzzier a bookcloth is, the less your foil quill wants to deal with it. This means the heat n bond method of making bookcloth does not play nice with a heat pen usually, but there are two solutions: 1) use this tutorial on paste + acrylic medium coated bookcloth instead that will get you a perfect surface for the heat pen, or 2) use the pen on paper & then glue onto the cloth. I did a video tutorial for both foil quill use and this type of homemade bookcloth for @renegadeguild Binderary in 2023.

You get the most consistent results by tracing through a printed template that is taped in place, as I do in the video above.

3. Paint That Shit

Acrylic paints will do you fine! The above is free-handed with a circle template, because I wanted that vibe. If you need straight lines that won't seep, lay them down with tape first & then paint over it first with a clear Acrylic medium, then your color. Same goes for stencils. Two more examples of painted bookcloth:

4. IT'S GOT LAYERS

By using layers of thinner boards, you can create interesting depths & contrasts on your cover. You can also make cutouts that peep through to the decorative paper behind. The most important part to this technique is the order in which each edge is wrapped. To get a good wrapped inside edge, you will split the turn in into tabs to get them to conform to a curve. You can also layer multiple colors of bookcloth without multiple layers of board, as seen below left, so long as you mind your cut edges for fraying.

5. Inlaid... anything

Mirrors! Marbled paper! I saw someone do a pretty metal bookmark once! The key is creating a little home for it to live in, which is pretty similar to the above layering method. On one layer you cut the shape, & glue that layer onto the bottom solid board before covering. You can do the top layer as an entire 1 mm board (like I did for the mirrors) or a sheet of cardstock, like I would use for inlaid paper.

6. Decorative Paper

Decorative paper is always helpful & adds to the paper hoard... & its effects can be layers with other techniques, as below. Marbles, chiyogami, momi, or prints & maps of all kinds can be great additions. Some papers may need a protective coating (such as wax or a sealer).

7. Stamps (with optional linocut)

While I've not used many more regular rubber stamps, I do know some who have, successfully! And I've used one once or twice with embossing powder (see photo 3 up, the gold anchor on the little pamphlet bind). What also works is to carve your own linocut or stamp, & then use block printing ink to ink it onto your fabric (as i did above). A bit time intensive, but it was nice how easily reproducible it was, and I liked the effect I got for this particular bind.

These methods are not exhaustive, just ones I've used, and there are of course many others. I haven't gone too into detail on any of these for the sake of length (& post photo limits) but feel free to ask about more specifics. Usually I'm using them in combination with other options.

[moonrise0111]

Karasuno on a plane

Headcanons

Daichi: is definitely a total pro at putting the bags in the overhead bin. If he sees anyone struggle for a millisecond, he's taking their bag and putting it up for them. He'd spend an hour ensuring all the bags were secure up there so nothing could possibly be damaged if the flight attendants didn't ask him to sit down.

Suga: is a perfect passenger for SURE. He has the utmost respect for the flight attendants and what they have to deal with, and he does his absolute best not to cause problems and to help alleviate any issues that may arise. He also doesn't mind or complain when annoying kids are on the flight. If there are any kids around him, he's definitely making silly faces and trying to entertain them as best he can to give their parent(s) a break.

Asahi: had a fear of flying since he was young, so he self-medicates and sleeps through the entire thing. He usually has to bring someone with him so they can wake him up after they land. He learned from that one time he flew by himself and ended up being woken up by a very concerned flight attendant who was afraid he died and in the commotion of him waking up, he spilled his water all over his pants. He’s still embarrassed from that day.

Nishinoya: is Asahi’s confirmed travel guide and personal alarm clock. He’s also a very light packer so he usually only has one bag for all of his things. Since Asahi is asleep for most of the flight he tries his best to entertain himself quietly (or as quietly as he’s going to get) for the bulk of the flight.

Tanaka: watches movies and laughs way too loud. I mean WAY too loud. He has to be asked to quiet down by the flight attendants. He also likes to play the mind numbing games that you can play on airplane mode. He’s on level 1467 of some sorting game.

Ennoshita: is extremely terrified of turbulence. He pays all of his attention to the safety demonstration and reads the safety booklet several times. He’s perfectly fine unless things get shaky.

Kinoshita: usually sleeps for most of the ride. The lull of the plane relaxes him and he’s out before the plane takes off. He doesn’t really bother anyone but his throat always hurts after he wakes up because he ends up breathing in a lot of dry air with his mouth open.

Narita: sits down with a good book and reads the entire flight. He’s read a 700 page book in one flight. Kinoshita was next to him and fell asleep around page 14 and woke up 650 pages later. He did it the first time because he forgot a bookmark. He regretted it after because he had nothing for the layover or the second flight.

Kageyama: is not very good with airport directions, so he usually barely makes the flight, if at all. He tries to be unproblematic and fails miserably. They never have any of the drinks he asks for and he simply cannot figure out how to work the small tv if he has one. He also hates when the vent is blowing on him and never remembers to download any music or movies to his phone. He also forgets his headphones.

Hinata: can NOT sit still. He’s the guy that is always walking up and down the aisle just to move his legs. The flight attendants have to keep asking him to sit down and he feels awful for inconveniencing them. He also talks to anyone willing throughout the flight. By the end of the flight he’s told at least three people his entire life story. He tries his best to figure out when people are done talking to him.

Tsukishima: spends about 70% of any flight he’s on trying his best to not throttle the small child that somehow ALWAYS ends up sitting next to him. The other 30% is him convincing himself that opening the doors and jumping off the plane just to avoid the screaming is a bad idea. He has his noise canceling headphones in at all times with music full blast but the wailing child never fails to break right through it. Murder is wrong Kei.

Yamaguchi: is the literal pro of airport snacks. His family is pretty well off so they went on far trips enough that Tadashi could determine where all the BEST snacks were in a bunch of airports. He always tries to get there early so he can bring snacks with him off the plane for his friends or family or whoever he’s visiting.

Yachi: somehow manages to convince herself the plane is going to go down and that these are her last moments. Plane rides are a bit of a draining experience for her. She also spills her drink either on herself or someone else every single time. She’s doing her best.

Kiyoko: watches movies and shows to pass the time. She usually goes for silly movies that will make her laugh quietly to herself. Her go to movie is Mamma Mia and go to show is ATLA.

Ukai: gets drunk on the plane. Enough said.

Takeda: has fallen asleep on the people next to him on several occasions. He’s mortified when he wakes up and apologizes profusely. But no matter what pillow he tries around his neck he seems to simply gravitate to the living being that just wants to make it through this flight unbothered.

[belleshub]

prompt 4

yanking them by their..

satoru g. — ear.

it may sound weird at first. satoru never lets anyone touch him. the strongest. he can’t be touched by his usual means of infinity.

so why did he let you do so? it’s a conundrum to him as well. why does he touch you, put on his flawed personality for display and be so vulnerable? because as much as he’d want to deny, he loves you.

he loves you so much, to the point where he in fact invited you to go shopping with him! sure, he probably would’ve done it with himself or someone else if you were to decline, but you didn’t.

that’s what matters.

youre glossing through the crowded mall, turning a head at anything that catches your eye - and that’s when you see it.

the perfect outfit, clad on the stores front mannequin. you’re just hoping and..

“that kid there has a digimon card—“

“you are such a nerd.” you throw your head back with a exasperated groan, fingers pitching the lobe of warm hearing vessels.

“cmonn, you’re not even buying anything.”

he whined. he knew very well that he was giving you an inch.

and you knew too.

immature, much?

“I was literally just looking at somethin’, what are you on about?” you bark back.

“okay, but like, I didn’t..”

“do you even know what you’re trying to argue about?” you furrow a brow.

“can’t you mentally bookmark it?”

“…” you two shortly find your way over to a gamestop. an embarrassing scene.

suguru g. — hair

more often than not, suguru doesn’t like when other people touch his hair. he meticulously grooms it, and takes care of it to the fullest. and if someone were to touch it - they’d have to be on the list of people he can tolerate. like his parents, or maybe shoko and gojo.. and without a doubt, you.

how could he not? suguru any touch of yours to be a grounding anchor to the reality he sometimes can’t even process himself. you’re his safe space. and he means it in every definition his brain could fathom.

and with you, it’s the same. you two were simply hanging out after school, and with how sassy he was - you two were prone to indulge in some banter.

sitting on some bench next to some convenience store, you chow down on some chips - him, observe the general public. it was one of those moments where, there isn’t exactly a set plan for the day - but rather more of a reprieve from your usual treacherous schedule.

so in short, you were just.. chilling.

while you were relaxing, you rant to him about your latest fixation, and then.. he gets a text message! from.. who?

“are you listening?” you lean forward, squinting as you tried to look at his screen.

“no, yeah..” he replies monotonously. you didn’t like that.

“I dare you to recount what I just said within three sentences—“

“I think satoru set me up, that snarky bastard.” his eye twitched as he tightened his grip on the flip phone. was he gonna break it?

“dude, relax, maybe he’s like.. I dunno..”

then you pause when you read the message.

“who the hell is misaki sato? and why does she have your number?”

“I told you, satoru set me up, I don’t know that girl!” he frowned, and you gently grab a tuff of hair, tugging just enough so you don’t place tension on his oh so tender scalp.

“oh shit! I think I know her!” your eyes widen, an accomplished smile gracing your features.

“was pulling my hair necessary?”

“shut up.”

yuji i. — arm.

you two were relaxing after just exiting from the movie theater. yuji just convinced you to watch a boring, dramatic and theatrical slasher. given that you genuinely had no other pastime, you took him up on his offer.

rookie mistake on his end, because for you, your knack for unconventional garbs was going to be the death of him.

“oh my god, oh my— yuji!” you exclaim. “it’s a flash sale, you know how much I love this stores stuff.”

“are you gonna even use half of the things in there?” he said sheepishly - until he saw merchandise. merchandise of his favorite movie!

“oh..it’s..its!”

you give him a side glance.

“oh, human centipede…”

“that’s like an entirely different thing!” he complains, and you simply push his back and your hand lands on his arm. circling around it, you pull him forth.

“my bad, that weird murder shit you like..” you correct yourself. awkwardly.

“it’s not weird!”

megumi f. — collar.

to be frank, megumi wasn’t to chatty type. he was more for the tiny things, the things that made it matter.

acts of service. that his niche. so.. why was he here.. crafting all these.. origami gifts.. why? because he wanted to surprise you. particularly because you just passed exams. he’s been routing for you, studying.. buying your energizers..

yuji brought up the idea, and megumi decided to entertain it. for once.

he presses the youtube video back, navy eyes narrowing further as he scrutinized the screen just one more time.

pink hair blurs his vision, and immediately, he’s over it again.

“maybe we should ask nobara. she’s a girl, she probably knows a lot about—“ yuji fell short of his exclaimation as megumi pressed him off to the side. he may or may not subtly have elbowed him in his side as well.

“I think I know my girlfriend, yuji..” he rolled his eyes, maybe at this point, he should give up. but if it’s one of your favorite..

clink.

the noise of a door unlocking throughout the dorm room sounds, and megumi feels like his soul has been snatched. hastily, he slams it close.

yuji, on the other hand, turned to the side, front obscuring the accumulated supplies in the front of them.

“ohh, heyy! we didn’t know you were..coming so soon?”

with your arrival, you don’t exhaust haste to trot your way over to megumi.

“the air in here doesn’t feel right.” you say.

“what the hell is that even supposed to mean?” yuji barked, hurriedly pushing the papers under the bed.

“I meant what I said! you guys are doing somethin’, and it’s suspicious! why else would yuji be in here?”

“I mean, he’s not always an unwanted presence..” megumi looks off to the side, a snicker escaping his lips.

“are you insinuating there has been times where I was a unwanted presence?” his friend yells, jaw hung low in appall.

you tsk, and pull his collar, trying to see what was behind him.

he didn’t seem.. particularly bothered by your proximity.

“now, what exactly are you guys try’na do?”

[lexisecretaccx]

A+ Student pt.2

Other parts on my Masterlist!

(Fem reader, Matt and Chris, suggestive, little angst, not proofread! Everyone is 18+, idk what else)

Summary: Y/n is a great student in her college, always getting good grades. Her college professor Matt, thinks she can get even higher ones with some “extra credit.” That is until she meets her new gym teacher..

“There she is!” Lizzy calls over to me, sat next to 3 other people who I don’t know, she motions me to sit opposite her. “Who are these?” I whisper to her. She chuckles, “this is Ethan, this is Jamie and this is Kelly.” She looks to a blonde girl sat next to her who smiles at me, “I’m new, I think I’m in your English class.” She giggles, “oh nice.” I smile uncomfortably.

I don’t enjoy being around new people, I know you have to be to make new friends but I honestly don’t want new friends. I eat my food silently while they all talk and make my way to the library for the last period, which was a free period. Nobody else who I knew had one so I was alone but it’s usually like that anyway.

Lizzy enjoys being around people, she’s pretty extroverted but not me.

I sit down at a table in the library and open a book, not a book to learn but just a book. Icebreaker. If you weren’t familiar with it, it’s a smutty book so reading it in school is a dangerous task.

I turn to the page I was on and read it. Whilst I was getting into the story, I sense someone looking at me and I turn around. Matt is stood there flicking through a book, he quickly drops his head from looking at me. I pack my book into my bag, placing the bookmark into the page and I walk to him. “Hey professor.” I lean up against the bookcase next to him.

“Oh hey y/n, you okay?” He smiles at me, “yeah I have a free period, what you reading?” I ask him looking at the book in his hands. He shrugs lightly, “I don’t know I just picked a random book,” he laughs quietly due to us being in a library. “Uh, why did Chris make you stay behind earlier?” He slightly leads my arm so we can sit down.

“I threw a dodgeball at Rachel, because she was saying shit about me.” I whisper, he chuckles, “Rachel in the English class?” I nod. “I’ll give her a D- next test if you want.” He grins, “No don’t do that.” I laugh, “I was kidding.”

We chat and I text him so he gets my number and the bell rings so I leave to go home. As I’m walking I get a text from Matts number, “extra credit 6pm? 27 Saques Lane.” I smile to myself before texting back, “sure see u there.”

I feel my cheeks heat up, am I really doing this? I get home and walk upstairs, showering, making myself look presentable and also slipping on a red lacy set, just in case.. I put on sweats and a crop top that shows my cleavage the perfect amount. Am I delusional? What if he doesn’t mean what I think he does? I start to feel anxious but I get a cab to his house.

The cab driver pulls up outside Matt’s and I pay him before hopping out of the car. I walk up his large driveway, this house must have at least 4 bedrooms or more, there’s a minivan in the driveway and a fancy Porsche. “Woah.” I mumble to myself. I knock the door nervously, someone opens the door. “Oh hey..” he says.

“Sorry I’m just heading out now, who are you?” He tilts his head slightly, “oh I’m y/n, I’m here to see Matt?” I speak, anxiety filling my chest. “Oh yeah he’s in the living room, see ya.” He walks past me without letting me say another word. “Okay..” I whisper. I walk in and I can hear music or something coming from the room next to me.

The door is glass so I peer through and see Matt laying back on a big couch facing a modern fireplace with a massive tv on it. How can he afford these things? I think to myself.

I open the door and walk in, Matt instantly turning his head to face me. His gaze softens as he realised it’s me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you knock!” He stands up and walks to me, “it’s fine, the other one of you three opened the door.” I smile, “Nick?” He asks me and I shrug, “probably, it wasn’t Chris so yeah.” I laugh and he chuckles.

“Come sit.” He sits back down and I sit next to him, he turns the TV off and directs his attention to me, “so what extra credit should I do?” I lean closer to him, “like write a short story or do some quizzes or something else..” I look him up and down, the grey sweatpants sitting perfectly and the tight black tshirt is doing all sorts of good things.

“I like the third option.” He whispers before leaning in and brushing my hair out of my face. I know this is wrong but it feels so good. I press my lips to his and I melt into him, his soft lips move against mine perfectly.

He hums against my lips before pulling away too soon. “This is wrong.” He mumbled to himself. “I thought you wanted..” I go to speak but he cuts me off, “I don’t know y/n.. what if I lose my job?” He stands up and wipes his mouth, “fuck.” He breathes out. “I’m sorry..” I fidget with my hands.

“Don’t apologise.. please y/n? I just...” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking straight.. you’re just so.. I don’t know.” He sits on the coffee table opposite me.

“So you don’t want me anymore?” I ask, and he huffs, “No I’m not saying that.. but I also am. I just love my job, and you’re great at the subject but I don’t want this.” He motions between us. My eyes well with tears, “what?” My voice cracks, “don’t cry, please? I’m gonna go for a drive.. clear my head but you can stay here until I’m back if you want.” He smiles and pats my shoulder.

He walks out the door, “what the fuck just happened.” I cry softly to myself, placing my head in my hands. I should’ve know that this wasn’t what he wanted truly. Fuck I feel awful, I’m a slut.

After 5 minutes I stand up to go leave and the front door opens infront of me, Matt wouldn’t be home this quickly, what if it’s Nick? He doesn’t know me and I’m crying in his hallway. “Oh fuck you scared me.” I look up to see Chris, I breathe out softly, “oh shit you okay?” He walks up to my and rests his hand on my shoulder, I shake my head. “No.” I squeak before crying harder.

Without hesitation he pulls me into his chest and hugs me, I pull my head off of him and he looks down, “I don’t wanna get makeup on your shirt.” I whisper and he chuckles. “It’s fine.”

We pull away from the hug, “that’s embarrassing.” I laugh lightly, and he tilts his head, “what is?” I shrug, “I fucking cried in my gym teachers arms.” He laughs softly, “that’s not embarrassing.. but why are you in my house crying?” He leads me to the kitchen and we sit up to the island. “Uh.. fuck I don’t know if I can tell.” I sigh.

“Matt? Right?” He asks. I nod, “We didn’t do anything, he just flipped out.” He cracks his knuckles, “well he is your professor maybe he got scared, he’s never been one to take risks.” Chris leans on the counter smiling at me. I sigh, “yeah but he made me think he wanted something.”

“It’s okay, when is he coming back?” He rubs my back comfortingly, I shrug. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.” Chris nods. The room has gotten tense, not an awkward tension but it’s indescribable.

“What did you mean earlier today?” Chris’ eyes meet mine and he hums in confusion, “when you said there was ways for me to get higher grades, what did you mean by that?” I ask again, the corners of his mouth flick up before relaxing, “it wasn’t what you were thinking..” he smirks.

“What did you think I was thinking?” I lean on the counter infront of me slightly, “I think you were thinking that I was implying something sexual.. weren’t you y/n?” He leans in slightly, I shake my head gently. “No I wasn’t thinking that.. you’re my teacher.” I scoff, “didn’t stop you from trying with Matt huh?” He leant in further.

“The difference between me and him? I like to take risks.” He leant in so his nose brushed against mine before he pulled away. I feel my cheeks redden, he laughs at my nervousness, “do you want-” I go to speak but the front door unlocks and both of us turn to face the door before Chris gets up and walks over to the fridge. Matt walks in and goes to check the living room before he notices me in the kitchen.

“Oh hey.” He spoke softly walking towards me, his eyes dart to Chris standing there opening a can of Pepsi. His jaw tightens, “hey Matty boy you okay?” Chris teases and Matt rolls his eyes, “see ya tomorrow y/n.” Chris spoke as he walks past me, patting my shoulder and going out into the hall. “Did you tell him.. or?” Matt starts to talk.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I sigh, “hey what did I do?” He asks with genuine concern on his face, I scoff. “You led me on to believe you wanted something from me!” I stand up out of the seat. “Come on y/n, I’m your professor.. grow up.” He spoke, I just started walking towards the front door.

“Wait.. wait.” He yelled slightly before grabbing my arm. “Get off.” I hiss. “I’m sorry okay?” He whispers in my ear before letting go. “I’ll see you in tomorrow’s lecture, no hard feelings right?” He smiled and I just opened the door and walked out. I felt angry. Why did he pretend he wanted something and then treats me like shit.

Chris is nice though.. “y/n.. please come back.” I hear Matt calling from behind me and I turn around, I still can’t deny that I find him so fucking gorgeous he’s just kind of a dick.. “what?” I reply. “I’ll bump your overall trade to an A+.. I know how much you want it and you deserve it.” He smiles as he catches up with me, he brushes my hair out my face. “Thanks…” I feel drawn into him.

What kind of spell has he got on me? He’s manipulating me right? “What were you and Chris doing?” He asks me, as his hand rests on my arm, “the thing we didn’t do.” I whisper just to watch his expression change. It did exactly that and his gaze hardens, “what?” He mumbles, “we talked.. me and you haven’t done that.” I turn around and continue to walk away.

I turn away to see him walking back to his house slowly, I can’t let him manipulate me but I just don’t know.. there’s something about him.. but also about Chris.. maybe it’s the fact they’re both my teachers, or maybe it’s because they look the same but are so different at the same time.

I just don’t know what I want..

A/n: Team Chris or Team Matt? I have good plans for this but I cannot reveal and I also cannot upload too much bc of how busy I ammm! Ily all and thanks for 600 followers that’s crazy!

@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219

[vii0so]

[BSD 119] Theory/Analysis

"The Bookmark" and Akutagawa.

How Atsushi is the bookmark/what it means and why/how Akutagawa is also involved with this + Why I think Akutagawa is acting like this (knightly-medieval) without Bram's influence.

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

1. "How is Atsushi the bookmark/ What does it mean to be the bookmark?"

Well let's start simple: "What's a bookmark?"

It's an indication of where you left off in a story.

In a game, you could think of it as a [save] point.

Now, IRL, a bookmark is optional. You may just remember the page or fold the corner.

But what if there was no way to remember or fold corners...only the bookmark?

The bookmark would be the only way to progress in a story. The only thing telling you where the 'present' is.

Time is divided in three:

Past -> Present -> Future

Q. Where is Atsushi?

A. The present

No matter wether he could time travel, or we read chapter 1 again, he will always be experiencing it 'currently'/in 'present time'.

"But that's obvious!" But did you realise the meaning?

The bookmark is used to mark the 'present' time of a story.

Atsushi (the 'bookmark') is the protagonist, keeping the story moving and being the indicator of 'present' time.

We could say that it's because he's the protagonist (they are always the centre of the story - the 'present') but I believe that in Atsushi's case, in the case of bsd as a story, he is the protagonist because he is the bookmark, not the other way around.

And while other characters, like our - many times mistakenly confused as protag - Dazai, have had their spotlight moments (e.g.prison arc), it was still centred around people and events Atsushi was in some way involved in (directly or indirectly).

In short: Atsushi/the bookmark is like the sun

Planets orbit around the sun

If the sun's gone, we're gone

If the sun's here, life continues

It's studying the sun that gave us the concept of 'time'. Of course the moon plays a part in stuff too, and I could talk more on it too.

But I won't. I'll just mention 2 points: the moon doesn't revolve around the sun but the planets instead.

I could also say how the moon is/could be Akutagawa with a few theories but I'll be getting off track...maybe in another post.

So back to the Q: "How is Atsushi the bookmark/ What does it mean to be the bookmark?"

Atsushi's ability is the 'bookmark' which in turn makes him it too.

It means that he is needed for their world (the book) to continue. He is 'present' time. The moment he is gone, so is time.

Fyodor saying this (pictures below) as if it's a certain fact that:

The tiger (Atsushi's ability) is the bookmark, not him.

The tiger is a seperate being to Atsushi, or at least has a very different personality (hence why Fyodor was disgusted to witness Atsushi's reaction, so different to his image of the tiger)

Btw, for anyone who may not know: Abhorrent = morally very bad

So just to clarify: Fyodor is saying that the tiger is morally bad and noble (as in elevated ideals/conduct or prideful and arrogant)*.

* Tried to translate the original Japanese for a clearer idea:

Note: I believe the translation above is accurate. It's just that I sometimes like searching for differences in the original language or things that may not translate well into english (double meanings, etc.).

DeepL spit this out:

"That high-steeled and abominable ‘shining tiger’ is only this good."

The original being:

"あの高覺にして忌まわしき「輝く虎」がこの程度の....."

Random fact: 栞 (しおり - shiori) = bookmark

^ The original Japanese for anyone interested.

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

2. Why and how is Akutagawa involved with the bookmark?

I could simply say: "Obviously they're yin and yang, two halves of a whole, so just like [Beast beneath the moonlight] is the bookmark, [Rashoumon] must be involved and be the bookmark's opposite."

But I'll try to explain with reasoning.

Rashoumon is said to eat through all it encounters, even if that something is space itself.

Sound familiar?

I would also just like to take a moment and mention that Fyodor genuinely seems like he had no idea that Rashoumon could put up a fight with Ame-no-Gozen.

Anyway...

Rashoumon is powerful. Powerful enough to fight against a being that isn't even in the same dimension (plane of existence) as itself. This means that Akutagawa's ability is 'god tier' (world bending/ changing) as well, just like Atsushi's tiger.

Honestly, to me, that by itself proves that Akutagawa is in some way connected to the book, just like Atsushi. If I think of more reasons I'll make another theory post.

I've been trying to think of what he would be to compliment the [bookmark] and have come up with many things, though none of them make sense and there are holes. So I'll have to come back to it.

█████▒▒▒▒▒

3. The reason I think Akutagawa is acting like this (knightly-medieval) without Bram's influence.

Rashoumon

Yes, you read that right. I believe he's acting like this due to his own ability.

Don't know how, can't explain it. Been thinking of how to explain this and Aku's involvement with the book further forever and this whole post has been sitting in my drafts gathering dust for weeks because of it.

So I'll just mention some noteworthy points that may contribute to the reason or not:

Atsushi's tiger is - as Fyodor has hinted at - different, personality/ morals wise. Meaning Rashoumon could also be different to Aku.

Abilities and their users are just two sides of the same coin

Abilities are the soul memory, the users are the body memory

Post Bram's possession, Aku's being could be considered half dead (in a way. Alive > Dead > Vampire > Alive-ish?) and so, that could have triggered his ability to front. Not sure if anyone knows DID enough to know what I mean by that but just think of it like how Atsushi was when he turned into the tiger completely - different - and then returned without any memory of the event.

So Aku still seems like himself (sorta) but the one in control is his ability - Rashoumon.

This would explain Aku not knowing who Atsushi is. Rashoumon could be familiar with the [tiger] but not Atsushi.

The clothes and speech: Most people think it's because of Bram's influence but does anyone even think about how old abilities are? If Fyodor has been alive since before Aku and Sushi were born and likely was aware of their abilities' existence since long before that, then it's likely that the law of reincarnation could apply here.

The law of reincarnation: (Not factual - off the top of my head)

Soul + body = self

Body dies = soul detaches and gets cleansed before rebirth

Reincarnation = (soul > soul + body > born > die > soul leaves body > repeat) x infinity

But because souls house abilities in BSD, it would be:

Soul + body = self divided in half (main self & ability self)

Body dies = soul detaches and gets cleansed, but [ability self] retains it's purpose (e.g. the bookmark) and carries over through rebirth.

Reincarnation = (soul > soul + body > born to fulfil purpose > die > soul leaves body > repeat) x infinity

This means that abilities have been around since the BSD world's existence or - if you'd like to believe the theory I think about a lot - since they were written in to the book.

Which means, Rashoumon taking control and choosing medieval attire and speech isn't unlikely, as they probably haven't been able to consciously use a body themselves since that type of stuff was still the norm.

Anyway, so no, personally I don't believe it's Bram's influence.

██████████ Complete!

I'm so glad I wrapped this up. As I mentioned, this has been in my drafts 80% finished since I made this account but I wanted to finish it before posting. Then I had assignments and had no time.

I probably forgot a lot of stuff I originally wanted to say when I started writing this, but oh well...not everything goes to plan.

While writing, I started overthinking the theory, when it's exactly that...a theory. It doesn't have to be exact with tons of evidence it can be far fetched and messy.

So as we're approaching the end of the month and the next BSD update, I thought: I better post this now. So here it is in all it's dot-point messy glory. I'll appear again when the new chapter comes out.

Btw, haven't had the chance to proof read as I decided to post this in a rush, if something sounded weird or didn't make sense that's why.

Thanks for reading ✦

[olderthannetfic]

I'm not really contributing to any of the ongoing discussions here. Just relaying a recent experience I had.

I was perusing ao3 (as you do at 1AM) and came across a fic with a promising premise. The summary read like it was centralized around one of my favorite characters, and the tags were all tags I liked, especially so with said character.

So, I got that initial reader's high, tapped the title link like "let's gooooooo," only to get a few paragraphs in and realize that this was not a "favorite character" positive fic. Very quickly, it became apparent that this author did not like this character. The narrative was written from others' POVs with a focus on said character's less endearing traits. Traits that were not all that significant in canon. It was kind of like they took a behavior, exaggerated it to the max until it consumed and rewrote the character's personality, and then had others (that, in canon, actually like the character) bash them for it. Which is kind of weird-funny to me cause, 100%, the character is controversial. There are a lot of reasons to be critical about them. I've seen fics where the basis is 'everything is canon, but the character is completely written out.' You like them, you don't, or at the very least they're tagged character bashing.

But okay. Whatever. The tags and description were misleading. The story was disappointing. It happens. I'm the one who decided to keep reading anyway because it was actually quite well written despite the characterizations making me sad. It's all good. It's the expected hazards that come with the perusing. But then, I had let my curiosity get the better of me.

I read the comments.

Four down, I found a deleted comment. I don't how bad it must have been. But the responses to it were certainly... yeah. Someone, not the author, responded with quite the vitriol. They shared the user's pseud 'in case they deleted their comment,' said they went through the user's bookmarks, aired out the "problematic" pairings the user had read, said 'of course they like this character, they already have the leanings,' and then concluded by calling them an incest loving pedophile.

The author also responded with a remark along the lines of, "while I appreciate you taking the time to read my work, I hope you never do so again as I don't want 'your sort' here." And ended it with a 😊 ❤️.

Like... I don't know what the original user said, but did it really warrant that? The problematic ships listed weren't even problematic. The only ship they could even be referring to as 'incest' among the ones listed was a ship I know is between between two people, not related, never canonically thought themselves to be so, three years apart, mostly just really good chaotic friends, that the fandom had decided blanketedly were brother and sister. Plus, the controversial character I said was one of my favorites, canonically, has only loved one person their whole life, who is the same age as them. So I don't even know what they mean by 'leanings.'

Which, subsequently, made me wonder if the original comment had even been genuinely deserving of such harsh responses. I guess it also just bothered me a lot cause, like I said above, the pseud is still there despite the deleted comment. Anyone can go and harass them if they wanted.

I don't really have a point.

It was just a lot. I'm still thinking about it a day later, and I don't really know how to feel about it all.

--

I know how to feel about it:

This author does not deserve comments.

[murkycran]

Misc. Vox Fic Rec List

Welcome to my Miscellaneous Vox Fic Rec List!

Soooo after a lot of consideration, I decided to make a third rec list. This one will be for miscellaneous fics, which can mean anything from smaller Vox pairings to fics that are not strictly Radiostatic or VoxVal. You'll see what I mean.

I will keep updating this periodically as I read more fics, too, so feel free to check back every once and a while! I'll reblog it when I update it, plus make a note with the date at the top. Trust me, this is by no means a complete list; there's fics I still want to add to this that I just haven't gotten to yet. I just decided to go ahead and post it anyways, because if I kept waiting until I ran out of fics to rec I'd probably be working on this forever.

These are not in any particular order; I'm going by both my Bookmarks list on AO3 and my memory of fics I forgot to bookmark. I also tried to make notes on what fics were written before season 1 released, but I might have missed some, so keep that in mind.

Please let me know if any links don't work or are wrong!

✨Before you proceed:✨ read the tags on these fics if you decide to read them. Many of them have heavy material - no surprise given the fandom, but still, felt like this needed said. On that note, there's also fics with explicit material and some fics are straight up PWP. Again, read at your own risk/heed the tags.

Fic Rec List Masterpost

Radiostatic Fic Rec List

Staticmoth Fic Rec List

------

Alastor Makes a Porno by Charnel_Goat, spappest

Summary: Alastor interrupts Val and Vox's personal time to get his rut over and done with, and they're just going to have to deal with that.

Basically, Alastor and Val try to have a threesome, but they keep arguing, everyone's injuring each other trying to figure out the logistics, and nobody cares what Vox has to say about any of this.

Notes: This has Staticmoth, Radiostatic, and Valastor. It's not strictly leaning more towards any pairing (tho Val does make a pretty sweet comment at the very beginning about Vox lol), which is why it's going on the Misc List. Porn with an edge of hilarity that - despite the tags - made it pretty funny. Three terrible people being terrible to each other. Vox suffers. Heed the tags.

He's Visual, Alright! by dead_boy

Summary: For Valentines Day, Charlotte Morningstar— Lucifer’s brat— had announced the hotel would be hosting a sweetheart poll, allowing winners to vote for the biggest ‘sweethearts’ in Pentagram City! How adorable!

— Of course, when Angel gets involved, things get a little twisted, and hell treats it as a most-fuckable-celebs poll.

Vox isn’t the only one surprised by how high he scored, and how concerning the amount of votes he received was.

But there was no way in hell this “demand” was enough to make him give into Valentino and Velvet’s newest fixation: Making use of this fame and making Vox do some modelling!

Surely he won’t mind the lingerie and toys provided by Velvet and Valentino respectively, right?

edit march 2024: i can’t believe he just won the hottest hazbin character poll. literally manifested

Notes: Poly Vees. Funny af. Vox suffers, but in a good way. Written BEFORE the hottest HH character poll, can you believe that? Lmao.

stray by vol_ctrl

Summary: How Vox met Vark. ♥

Notes: No ship. Written before season 1 release.

After the Credits Roll by leftofrevolution

Summary: Everyone knew the Magnes sometimes liked to spice up their sex life by dragging another demon into the middle of it.

Vox maybe should have paid more attention to that particular tidbit of information than he did.

Notes: Lilith/Lucifer/Vox. Chapter 1 written before season 1 release, with Chapter 2 being released after season 1 release. I read for the crackship, ended up liking the Lilith/Lucifer/Vox dynamic and world-building a LOT. Lol. Poor Vox. Or good for him? Still has yet to be seen.

The Shopping Cart Test by spappest

Summary: Angel never expected Prince Charming to have a TV for a head, but when Vox kills Valentino and saves him from his abuse, well… Maybe Hell doesn’t have to be all that bad. With Val out of the way, everyone can have a happy ending. Angel’s safe, Charlie’s happy, and even Alastor finds love.

Oh, wait. This is Hell. It’s always that bad.

Notes: Angel/Vox. Started before season 1 release. First Staticdust fic I read. :)

Hold Me Up by Sameko

Summary: Vox has been in and out of a relationship with Valentino for years. Always breaking up. Always coming back.

Then one night comes the definitive crack at the expense of one of Valentino's employees, to which Vox never paid much attention other than for shits and giggles.

One night, one word too many, might be enough to shift the perspectives of two people once strangers to each other.

Notes: Staticdust. Pretty bleak and dark at times, but so, SO good. Two broken people trying not to cut each other with their edges while also trying to help each other.

Cruel Melody by Hiding_Behind_a_Pencil_and_Pen

Summary: A man hopelessly in love with a monster, despite how much it hurts.

A person chained to a beast he can never escape, no matter how hard he tries.

Vox and Angel Dust have given their body and heart to Valentino, and neither know how to free themselves from his lies.

But maybe, even if it never gets better, they won't have to suffer alone.

Or,

What if Husk was just a little too late to get to the bar in episode four? And a certain media Overlord helped Angel instead. They find out that they're not so different after all.

Notes: As of now, I think this is Queerplatonic Staticdust.

Revelations in Technicolor by Awesome_Possum

Summary: Velvette had been dead for six years, part of The Vees for four, and fucking Vox for a little over two. They had a good thing going.

On one of their bi-weekly Vox-mandated movie nights, Valentino put a plan into motion and Velvette learned something new and surprising about her business partner and part-time sugar daddy that made a shocking amount of sense.

It ultimately ended up bringing The Vees closer and if Valentino claimed that was his intention all along, no one had any reason to believe him.

Notes: The Vees are a V and Vox is the hinge, so he's in a relationship with both Valentino and Velvette. Interesting headcanons for Vox's human life. :) (What is the ship name for Velvette/Vox again?)

System Shutdown by Swoolie

Summary: Taking a leaf from Alastor's book, Vox goes on a small break from everything.

He doesn't stick around long enough to see the chaos that ensues after his sudden disappearance.

Notes: This is tagged with both Radiostatic and Staticmoth. It's too early in the story to tell definitively which direction it's going to end up, so for now it's going to be on the Misc list. I'll probably move it when it becomes more clear what the main pairing will be.

Dapple Rose by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Everyone always assumes the same thing about Alastor and Vox's relationship: That it's one-sided, that it's based on fixation, and that the reason for their falling out was due to the obsession turning into something that couldn't be controlled.

All of those assumptions are correct. The only problem is, everyone gets the 'who is obsessing over whom' part of the equation wrong.

When Vox and Valentino end up stuck at the hotel, suddenly the entire relationship between the radio and television is put on display, casting it and Alastor in an entirely different light.

Notes: Tagged with both Radiostatic and Staticmoth. Due to both this and the entire story itself (you'll see what I mean when you read it), it's going here on the Misc List. I freaking love this story, because so far I've not seen another fic where Alastor was obsessed with Vox while Vox was not obsessed with him in return. :3 Everything Penny_Tails writes is gold!

Here I Come by Heliosolar

Summary: Vox contemplates his lackluster life as he stands over the edge of the city.

Or, the fall of Vox, both mentally and physically.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. No ships, just Vox. Heed the tags.

Entertainment for Two by Heliosolar

Summary: With the radio demon joining them for the night, Vox puts on a show the two overlords will never forget.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Staticmoth and Radiostatic, at the same time. 😳

Proposition by Snorp_Lord

Summary: Alastor does not, strictly speaking, have a 'relationship' with the King of Hell. But they certainly have a something.

A something which does not include Vox. But Alastor is at least willing to indulge Lucifer in whatever this new idea is.

The new idea is Vox.

Notes: Contains Radiostatic, Radioapple, and Staticapple, but for this installment, Radiostatic is definitely the focus. Very intense, pretty sweet. 😳 Has 2 more parts in the series which are definitely worth the read, though they don't feature Vox as much.

meteor shower by spoondrifts

Summary: alastor, rosie, vox, and a study in non-traditional love.

Notes: QPR Alastor/Rosie/Vox. Very good! (What's the ship name for this?? Radiostaticrose?? Radiorosestatic?? Roseradiostatic?? Staticradiorose??)

spiraling down thy majesty by spoondrifts

Summary: “Okay, um, time out,” Lucifer said, because he felt like they were maybe losing the plot a little. “I feel like I should remind you that I’m not here because I was like, uh, overwhelmed with lust for you, in particular. I’m here because Husk said you were Alastor’s ex and I have poor impulse control and thought it’d be funny, but I’m realizing now that this is actually just really weird and you, my friend, have some serious issues that I am not equipped to handle.”

Or: Lucifer and Vox have a shared problem that starts with Al and ends in stor and has a in the middle—thankfully, there's a solution! (The solution is sex. It's just sex.)

Notes: Staticapple. Revenge sex. As in...they're both getting revenge on Alastor...using each other. Lol.

(Fic rec list to be continued as I read more)

[klanceficsthatmakemeripmyhairout]

i have impeccable taste and 29 bookmarks and i really recommend Poor Boys and Pilgrims by SirCumference on ao3. it's a gorgeous fic in which Keith sees him and Lance together in each of the three realities he gets glimpses of during his time in the whale.

dawg how did you know this is my exact niche of klance fanfic that i enjoy and i hope everyone else will enjoy

this is what im readin tonight !!!!!

poor boys and pilgrims by sircumference

rating: mature

published: 2019-03-03

completed: 2019-07-14

word count: 85,000

chapters as of may 22, 2024: [8/8]

summary: [ Keith doesn’t believe in fate. He doesn’t believe things happen for a reason, or that there is meaning to be found in every bad thing that’s happened to him. He also doesn’t believe he’ll ever be with Lance. But as he drifts through the abyss on the back of a space whale, he catches glimpses of other realities where he and his friend are inextricably tied despite forces beyond their control promising to tear them apart. 

Lance is sometimes a telepathic merman, sometimes a patron at a coffee shop, and sometimes an android serving a year-long sentence for pissing the wrong people off. Keith might be a sailor, or a barista, or a professional smuggler struggling to make ends meet. It’s fucking weird, honestly, but so is living in the Quantum Abyss. Keith tries not to let it get to him. It still does, though. He wonders how he could ever get over someone when he’s forced to watch himself fall in love with them over and over again. ]

[moonschocolate]

Tom Riddle headcanons!!

because lately i've been thinking about this tragic little human <3

tw: mention of torture as a topic

first of all I wanted to clarify that in this there's no Voldemort, no interest in practicing dark magic, just a teen who goes to Hogwarts soo... :)

proud slytherin. no matter how much other people can say 'slytherin = bad' he just doesn't care, he will not argue with you if you think or say that cause he will find it pointless

I don't now where I read this, but if I'll find it I will tag the person who said this before me: he has autism!!

which means he is not a very social person, and he has little/no friends

and he is deeply attached to an object/topic

the topic in question is dark magic

he doesnt want to practice it, he just finds the whole thing interesting

which deeply concerns professors

he knows everything. about horcruxes, the three unforgivable curses, origin and all

he simply thinks that knowledge is knowledge

IF HE READS?!?! OH DAMN

i strongly believe he has one hell of a library in his dorm

the most dramatic myths ever? knows them

he's just a nerd

read books about t0rture, c0mmunism, n@zism, because knowledge is knowledge

also reads light books of course i dont want to scare you

maths is not his thing

like yes he's good at it but he doesnt really care

did i say hes dramatic?

and an absolute pessimist

since i do not believe that his hair is like that just because it is, he HAS to have a hair routine (DROP IT TOM)

has an infinite collection of bookmarks

no person is allowed to touch his books

doesnt write on books even with pencils

listens to DRAMATIC classical music

EXAMPLE

(also y'all have to teach me how to put spotify songs with the blue rectangle cuz i dont have a clue on how)

JUST THE START

Idk it reminds me of him (and regulus but this is not about him)

this goes against the fact that he's dramatic, but i think that in a relationship he would be a good-old fashioned lover boy

flowers, love letters, POEMS, kissing in the rain, handing you his jacket when you're cold

and of course he wears suits

NOT a sports kid

mf doesn't know a single sport

he just learned how to swim

that's it

is defo the kind of person who is SOSOSOSOSO SKINNY

He's skeptical af on food

like i believe he's a picky eater

and i dont think he eats a lot

like he will go through the day with some coffees, some water, breakfast and a snack in the afternoon

is always gentle doing anything

when he's mad he's even more mad that he can't throw anything because then he would be even more angry that it got broken

has NO PHYSICAL FORCE AT ALL

Like his arms are spaghetti

im sorry but imo he's short

like 1.70 cm (5'5''-5'6'')

which is not really short

I CANT SEE HIM AS A TALL BEING

will not admit it but hates the sea

like as long as he can reach with his feet the "land" below then it's no problem

if he can't he'll try to act cool and say he's tired and immediately get out of the sea

it gives him a sense of pure confusion because he doesnt know what he could run into

which annoys him

because when he cant know something it hurts him physically emotionally psychologically

he knows plenty of languages

english, french, latin, russian and german

why?

because it's cool

also knows how to play the piano and the flute and the viola

"never judge a book by its cover" he does exactly the opposite

especially with books he judges the book by the cover, if he likes the cover he'll like the book too

and people can gain his interest only at first sight

he hates how lots of people can easily change their opinions as long as their group/loved ones have a different opinion

or how people always follow the crowd

people who judge mudbloods just because they're mudbloods are too stupid for him

i think we all know that he is THE teachers' pet

he's the Hermione of his generation

which means that while there are plenty of people with their hands raised the only one who will be listened to is tom

is a MANIAC in cleaning

his bed and his overall room is always tidy af

he hates getting his uniform dirty

he has plenty of nightmares about his past

which he never talks about with anyone

is the kind of person to have 4 or 5 cats

he is absolutely quiet

i got a strong feeling that this man was bullied before hogwarts at the orphanage

he has a cute little stuffed animal in really bad shape which he has from his years at the orphanage and it's hidden at the end of his wardrobe

he strongly despises children because he doesn't have a clue how to deal with them

acts like he has patience

lacks patience

in a modern au, the only thing he'd have going to school would be a black pen

not because he didnt care or was too lazy to get other things but because he didnt find having 3985729947 pens and highliters necessary

dada would be boring for him because out of curiosity he would've already learned most of the spells or wtv

i dont remember if i said it but quidditch is NOT something he likes

or just flying on a broom in general

(remus lupin behavior)

(I had to say it)

studying consists in him burying his face in the books for like 4 or 5 hours straight (my man has some serious issues)

you could tell im completely delusional because he became a killer and nothing's good-old fashioned lover boy about canon him but oh well🥰

[ahyperactivehero]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @acediscowlng (thank you!!)

stress free tags!: @genevievefangirl @fairandfatalasfair @makemeimmortalwithahug

number of stories posted to ao3: 22, with all of them being Dead Boy Detectives lol

word counted posted for last year: assuming this is for 2024 that would be..... 264,426 words. Or at least that's what I posted to ao3, because I know I shared some on here that I didn't over there. If you can't tell, I found a new hyper fixation lol

fandoms i wrote for: Dead Boy Detectives

pairings: Payneland I think was the only pairing? I don't think I even did any Niko or Crystal, which is kinda crazy lol

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads:

kudos: the phantoms here will never have their fill: 5 times the boys have to deal with poltergeists (a couple being themselves, of course)

bookmarks: once again, that would be the phantoms here will never have their fill (it was my first dbda fic, so neither one of these is surprising

comment threads: Séances and Summonings (and Screaming) : Edwin is summoned back to St Hilarion's in front of Charles, much to both of their panic. (and hey look, one that's not phantoms lol!)

work i’m most proud of (and why):

as annoying as it is to list it three times on here, probably the phantoms here will never have their fill. This fic was what got me really back into fic writing for the first time in over a year, and it motivated me to write a whole lot more for this fandom. I also love fics exploring things like "true forms" and the consequences of ghosts leaning too heavily into the "ghost" thing, so this one was a real treat to write.

I also want to mention late for this, late for that because it was the first (and so far only) soulmate fic I've ever written! I don't think it's necessarily the best or "groundbreaking" as far as soulmate fics or dbda fandom goes, but it was fun (and sad) to write!

(and of course Séances and Summonings (and Screaming) gets another reference here, because I do so love the horror aspect of it lol)

work i’m least proud of (and why):

probably a toss up between Would We Survive In A Horror Movie? or Not Orpheus and Not Eurydice (just me and just you)

I lost the original notebook that had a lot of Horror Movie plotted in it, which sort of killed a lot of my motivation for it and makes me look at it less than favorably. And Not Orpheus and Not Eurydice has a plot in it that I really, really want to write again, but I feel like I sort of wasted it by banging it out in a day and posting it because I wanted to be on time for that day's prompt.

share or describe a favorite review you received: lol just one? okay, probably this one then!

(obviously this person is being very generous with their comment, but I think this was the first comment that sort of made it click in my head that I wanted to keep writing for this fandom, so thank you!)

a time when writing was really, really hard: honestly, here recently. It's not even that I don't have the words or plot or motivation, it's purely time and attention span lol. But I'm hoping to fix that in the new year!

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I actually really, really like writing Crystal. I was also a kid who should have been supervised more and ran out an did stupid things and lashed out at people first so I didn't "get hurt." (that does not maker her any easier for me to write, however lol)

a favourite excerpt of your writing:

.... I tend to forget what I've written after it's posted, but I did find this one!

“I am in love with you, Edwin Payne,” he said. He took great care to enunciate each syllable, to make his message as clear as possible. He had never said anything as important as what he was saying right now, and he needed his meaning to be clear.

Edwin’s face was carefully blank. Not scared or confused or worried, just blank.

When Charles had pictured himself confessing to someone that he loved them it had been nothing like this. There had been less blood and pain, for one, but he’d also expected some sort of reaction. Acceptance, rejection, maybe even love back.

He’d never expected the person to completely blank out on him. - It Was Worth A Wound

how did you grow as a writer last year:

I think I became more consistent with my writing. Not necessarily the style or anything but just doing it more consistently. I regularly go to coffee shops and write now, I make sure I take time to do it at least a little bit every day (or plan for the days I know I won't have time), and I've even had a semi- consistent posting schedule where at least one of my fics gets updated once a week.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.)

shoutout to a few of people here! @fairandfatalasfair for always being down to talk about anything dbda, but especially my hockey fic. @genevievefangirl for putting me on her rec lists and telling me about the server! and @sonofhelios2005 who always gives the most wonderful comments on my fics! I couldn't do it without y'all! (and everyone else who has been so kind to be in this fandom!!)

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: there are several references to the ttrpgs I run, but they are only noticing to my irl friends who play them (and I hope they never read these fics lol)

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: cliche as always, but write, write, write. That is the only way you get better! Well, that and reading. And reading broadly, even if you don't think you'd be interested in it.

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year?

Hockey AU is going to start being posted this month (I hope anyways lol) and I am hoping to finish two of my other fics off before March??? that might be generous though lol

(sorry this got sooooo long everyone lol! I hope you all have a wonderful New Year!)

[obxone]

Vigilante Shit (Chapter Four)

Edited-ish. ~2.8k words

Tag list: @fishingirl12 @gillybear17 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gills-lounge @emmafitzzz @redfieldfx @baby19sthings

Masterpage

You stretch your legs, flexing up on the balls of your feet to release the ache in your calves. A sigh from how good it feels leaves you before you plop down onto the stone steps leading to the parking lot. Mav said he would be out after swapping his golf shoes and closing out his tab for the day. And you are happy to wait for him after his promise that it would be worth waiting around a little longer.

A body drops onto the steps next to you as you take a sip of the lemonade you brought with you. “Don’t want to go home yet?” Rafe asks, his voice low. He stares out at the parking lot; his elbows braced on his knees. "You never used to want to go home."

“I do actually, but I’m waiting on Mav.” You swirl your lemonade a little so that your hands have something to do along with your focus. Not looking at Rafe is in your best interest, especially when he is this close to you. “You should go back to your buddies, Rafe. Leave this low life to herself.”

“You heard that?”

“Of course I did! I’m not deaf.”

He rolls his eyes. “He didn’t mean it.”

You laugh. “What? Of course, he did. This is Topper we are talking about.” You stand and look down at him. He stares up at you. Something familiar and stomach twisting reflects at you in his blue eyes. “Go back inside, Rafe. If you keep talking to me, people will notice.”

“And? Let them talk. I don’t care about that shit.”

You snort. “Since when?”

“Since always!” He looks at you like you have three heads as he stands abruptly. “You know me better than that.”

You shake your head, looking away from him. “I don’t know you at all. I never did.”

He steps closer to you. His chest brushes against your shoulder, and his breath fans over your face.

“Is that why you won’t look at me?” He asks, venom lacing his tone. "Is that why you started hooking up with fucking Barry?"

You bite your lip, trying to keep your composure. After a long pause, you blow out a breath and turn your attention to Rafe. “You know exactly why I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“No, I don’t,” he grits out. His fingers warm on your skin when he grabs your upper arm. “You have never told me.”

You frown, looking down at where he touches you. “Let me go, Rafe. Your buddies may not remember who I am right now, but when they figure it out, they won’t like you touching me. Especially your best buddy Top.”

His hand falls away, and he rolls his eyes but goes inside without pushing any further. Relief washes over you, and you glance at the lot. You should leave now before the risk of running into Topper increases or the chance of Rafe coming back does. But leaving Mav without an explanation is not what you want to do.

“Thinking about bailing?”

You spin to see Mav smiling at you in a teasing manner.

“Only a little.” You laugh. “Figured if your friends came that it might be best to get out of sight.”

He frowns, hands going into his pockets. “I’m sorry about them.”

You shake your head. “Topper is the one that called me a lowlife, not you.”

His frown deepens before he glances over his shoulder. “He’s an asshole. Can I at least walk you to your car?”

“Sure,” you smile and walk side by side. “So… did you at least kick his ass in golf?”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Only a little.”

“Better than nothing right?” You murmur before stopping at your car. “Well, this is me.”

He glances over at your car. Eyebrows scrunch together when he fixates on something. “Is that a bookmark hanging from the mirror?”

“Yes,” you laugh, glancing at it. “It is scented.”

“What does it smell like?”

You shrug, leaning against your car. Your feet aching after hours of running around the Island Club. “Mr. Darcy.”

“Mr. Darcy…” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck. You can tell he is nervous after he exhales and rolls his shoulders. “A Pride and Prejudice girl then, huh?”

You smile a little. “So, the kook academy has Jane Austen on their syllabus?”

“Just the one book.”

He moves closer and touches you. His fingers skate across the back of your hand and down to your fingers.

“What’s going on, Mav?”

He smiles a little before clearing his throat. “Would you go on a date with me please?”

“Oh.”

His smile falters, and a small pang shoots through your heart at the sight of it. “If that isn’t…”

“No,” you rush, cutting him off. “I’m just surprised given… the reactions,” you say softly, gesturing at the Island Club. “Kooks and pogues do not tend to mix that way.”

“I don’t care.”

You laugh before tipping your head as you study him over. “All right then, I would love to.”

He grins so wide you wonder if his cheeks will pop. “Great, can I have your number now?”

“Yes.” You cannot help but to blush before he hands his cell phone to you. You input your number and hand it back. “So, I guess I will see you for our date.”

His fingers slot through the spaces of your own, and you glance down at your joined hands. “How is tonight?”

You smile before meeting his gaze again. “Sounds perfect.”

He steps that last bit closer, and his lips brush your cheek. “Tonight, six pm. I’ll text you for your address, okay?”

“Okay,” you murmur, tipping your head back to look at him. “I should get going. I need to check on my brothers.”

“Okay.” He relents and takes a step away. You also take a step back before reaching for your door handle. “Hang on!” He steps closer to you once more. His hands cup your face, and he leans down to press his lips to yours. It is only a simple press of his lips against yours. It makes your heart flutter. “I’ve been dying to do that.”

You laugh and wrap your hands around his wrists. “I’ve kind of wanted you to do that.”

He pecks your lips again, and you blush before he lets go and takes two steps back. “See you soon, y/n.”

“See you.”

----

“Hold on. You met a guy at the beach and then again at work today. He is friends with Rafe and Topper, he kissed you, and now you’re going out with him?” JJ asks, dumbfounded, as he moves around the living room, trying to find his backpack.

You finish tying your shoelaces and stand to adjust your skirt. “Yup.”

“Well,” John B muses, enjoying the tables turning now that you have a kook interested in you, all the while flipping a pen that he found on the coffee table over and over in his hand.

“Oh, be quiet, Lover Boy.” You glare at him in warning, and he smirks, chewing on the end of his pen. “And you!” You turn to JJ, your tone accusatory enough that he freezes in his spot. “Don’t think I don’t notice how you look at Kie.”

John B laughs loudly, head tossed back while JJ splutters in shock.

“That’s what I thought,” you sass him, and John B’s laughter increases. You smile at him before turning your attention back to JJ. “Have you even told her?”

John B smirks at his friend before meeting your gaze. “What do you think?”

“No! JJ, why not?”

He shrugs, scrubbing his hand through his blond locks. You can read the stress on him clear as day, and he will not look at you for a second. But then those stressed blue eyes turn onto you. “I’ve tried, okay? I’ve tried that door, and it is locked.”

You stare at him for a second, trying to understand if he is being truthful. When he stares back at you with a distant look in his eyes, you know that he is telling the truth. “Fine, but I think she does too.”

John B smirks, looking at the pen. “But then there’s Pope…”

“Pope-schmope.” You mutter, and they both crack and smile at that. “He isn’t my brother, and they would never last. Pope needs someone that challenges him in other ways. Kiara isn’t meant for him.”

You love Pope, you always will, but you know all three of them. Pope and Kiara would never make it. They would be fine at first, but in the end, Kiara would get bored, and she would break his heart. It was better to do it now before they got too deep.

“But Pope likes her,” John B responds before JJ can.

You frown, glancing around the room. “Well… you know my opinion. Time is short.”

JJ nods, looking away before he finds his backpack under the sofa. He yanks it out and grins before shouldering it on. He kisses your cheek before he passes by you for the door. “Have fun on your date. Be careful, promise?”

“Promise.” You smile, patting his chest. “You be safe, promise?” You return the request just like you used to when you were kids and had to split up to hide from Luke in his drunken rages. Both boys hug you tightly, squeezing you into their group hug. “John B?” You ask, keeping your voice soft as you stare at the brown-eyed bonus brother.

“Yeah?”

“Promise?”

“Promise, y/n.”

“Good!”

He pecks your cheek before the hug ends, and you smile at both.

“You know that you’re welcome to come stay here if you ever need to. I don’t mind vouching for you.”

He smiles, hugging you again. “Thank you, but home is the last thing I have with my dad.”

“I understand,” you say quickly, cutting him off. “I’m the big sister. I just want to do my best at it.”

He nods, a sad gleam in his eyes, and you have to look away.

“Either way, stop by here as much as you want. Dinner is always an option.”

Both boys show a smile before they hustle out together, talking about their evening plans at The Point. You laugh, watching them go. At times it still feels like they are eight again and causing chaos in their wake—eight years of solid friendship.

A few minutes later, the sound of a car honking has you smiling, and you check yourself in the mirror, fluffing your hair before glancing as Mav knock’s on the screen door. He grins at you, and you blush, looking down at your outfit to make sure you look as decent as he does in his clean, pressed oxford shirt and shorts. His muscled tan forearms are on display as he leans against the frame. Your heart rate increases at the tall, dark, and handsome man in your doorway waiting on you.

“Hey, pretty girl.”

“Hi,” you smile brightly and cross the small distance to the door. After collecting your crossbody, you push the screen door open and pull the main door shut. He waits for you to lock it before he grasps your hand tightly. “Do I get to know what we are doing tonight?”

“Dinner and then ice cream…” He muses. “Maybe a walk by the docks…”

You grin up at him. “I love that.”

“Good!” He smiles and opens the car door for you. He helps you in before closing the door and jogging around to get in. You look around the car, the smell of expensive leather and his cologne mixing in the confined space. Mav stares at you, a smile tugging at his lips. “Everything okay?”

“Mm-hmm.” You meet his gaze, and he smiles before leaning into you. Your lips press, and you hum, kissing him back. After a moment, you part and you squeeze his hand. “I’m starving.”

Both of you laugh, and he begins the drive to the restaurant. “Understood.”

Dinner and ice cream go perfectly. Your face hurts from how much you are smiling and laughing at his jokes. You are enjoying your time with Mav, and you hope he is feeling the same. Mav’s hand holds yours as you walk along the boardwalk together. You smile up at him when you both come to a stop at the end of the dock. “I had a wonderful time tonight.”

“Great,” he responds, his other hand moves up to touch your face. His thumb skates over your chin. “Me too. I was nervous at first.”

You lean up on your toes and press your lips to his. He kisses you back, his touch sliding down your back to pull you closer. You smile against his lips before stepping away.

“Care to watch the sunset with me, Beautiful?”

“Absolutely,” you beam up at him before glancing at the pinkening sky as the day gets ready to end.

“Mav!”

Both of you turn to see Rafe and Topper strolling down the dock. Your hand finds Mav’s, and you squeeze it while worry floods over you.

“Are we interrupting something?” Topper smirks, his gaze fixated on your clasped hands, and your stomach turns as he openly checks you out again.

You slip closer to Mav, and he is aware of it. His arm loops around your waist to tug you against his side.

“Yes.”

Topper’s smirk widens, and he glances at Rafe, whose attention is fixated on you and only you. You look back at him, your skin prickling as a dangerous smile slowly spreads across his lips.

“Top,” Rafe starts, clasping his hands in front of him in anticipation. You swallow, tightening your hand on Mav’s shirt. “You remember her, right?”

Mav looks at you in confusion, but you continue to watch Rafe. A challenge in both of your eyes, because if he does this then the entire game changes.

“From the Island Club, our server,” Topper smiles, nudging Rafe. “I know she is a pogue, it has only been a few hours, Rafe.”

Rafe smirks, shaking his head before he fixates his attention on you. “No, no, Top. No,” Rafe murmurs with a shake of his head. “You really don’t remember her?”

Topper looks between you both, confusion written plainly across his face. “No, I don’t.”

“Tell him who you are, Angel.”

Topper’s eyes widen, and realization dawns on his face. “Y/n Maybank?”

You look away, clearing your throat before staring back at him. “So what?”

“What is going on?” Mav finally speaks, and you look at him. It takes everything in you not to lash out at Rafe, but keeping your history where it belongs wins out. You are starting fresh. You refuse to be pulled back into those messy dark depths you had crawled out of during your time away from the OBX.

“We used to be friends of sorts,” you offer, and his hand tightens around your waist. “I can explain more when we are alone…”

“She used to be my girlfriend,” Rafe offers his voice hollow and void of emotion. But his eyes blaze with unspoken turmoil.

Mav shifts to get a better look at you. You nod once, cheeks heating. He squeezes your waist before turning to the other two.

“Okay.” He shrugs. “I have ex-girlfriends. Her past doesn’t matter to me.”

You inhale sharply with relief, your fingers clasping his against your side. His thumb brushes yours in comfort. Mav realizes just how wide the gap between kooks and pogues is at this moment.

“If you’ll excuse us, guys. I’m going to finish up my date and take her home.”

Mav guides you through the space between Rafe and Topper. Rafe glares at him, and Topper smirks at you, but you ignore him, clinging to Mav’s hand. He opens the car door for you. Hesitating, you press your free hand to his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks, moving closer. His body crowds you against the side of the car. “Having dated someone?”

You nod, frowning before glancing as the sound of two motorbikes drive by. A spidery chill crawls down your spine because you know who sits atop the two bikes. Mav’s hand cups your face, turning your attention back to him.

“No reason to apologize.”

You smile weakly, attempting to let go of the anxiety building in you. He tips your chin back by hooking his finger under your chin.

“Relax, pretty girl. Rafe and Topper do not scare me.” He leans down, his lips brushing yours before he kisses you. You kiss him back, fisting his shirt at his sides. After a moment, the kiss ends, and you smile up at him. Relief washes over you, and you peck his lips. “We could go to the beach and count stars since our sunset was ruined. Or do you have a curfew?”

You laugh, burying your face in his chest and inhaling his cologne. “No curfew.”

“Perfect.”

(Chapter Five)

Feedback is welcomed, just remember to be kind. Please feel free to like, reblog, comment, or send an ask if you want. Happy Reading.

Let me know if you want to be added to a tag list.

[hswriting]

Hard to Love - Part 6

[Image Alt ID: a three picture collage with a cream colored background. The first picture is a closeup of white daises with yellow centers. The second picture is of a cup of coffee with a decoration, and a plate of various breakfast foods. The third picture if of two people sitting on a couch, one’s legs over the others lap. They are both reading a book. End Alt ID]

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 5 Part 7

- - -

3.0k words

- - -

Harry and April confessed their feelings and now are beginning their relationship when the day takes a surprising turn.

Cw: mentions injuries, abuse, gun

AN: sorry this took so long to come out. I haven’t exactly proofread but it’s finally complete. Thank you guys for being patient with me while this took a while to write. It might be a while for the next part as well but we will see. Thank you!

-

I wake up alone in Harry’s bed. Sunlight is beaming through his window. I look around and there is no sign of Harry. There is only the pajamas he wore to bed last night lying on the floor.

I am confused as to where he has gone, but am happy thinking back to last night. It was amazing. My mind starts to wander. What does this mean? What are we now?

I get up and go to my room. I pick out another short sleeved shirt and some sweats. I tie up my hair and walk out of the bathroom.

Harry is sitting on the couch reading the book I had finished yesterday. He looks up at me as I walk into the room.

“Good morning Loopy.” He says. He places his bookmark in the book and sets it down. He walk over to me and wraps his arms around me. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes.” I answer as we separate.

“Let’s go out and get breakfast? He asks.

“I don’t have any money.” I remind him.

“I didn’t ask if you had money.”

“Har-“

“Come on. Put your shoes on.” He says and I do. We walk out of the door and down the stairs. We get into his car.

“Did you sleep okay?” I ask him as I buckle my seatbelt.

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Yeah I did.” I answer. He smiles at me. He seems to be in a really good mood. He drives us to the nearest breakfast shop and we go in.

We sit down and place our drink orders.

“Loopy?” He says to get my attention.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks. “Last night?”

“What about it?” I ask confused. I had a good time. Did he not?

He looks at me and sees my confused and pained expression.

“The talk isn’t bad. I just have some questions. If you don’t mind?” He says, his hands resting on the table. This eases my anxiety.

“Okay?”

“I just wanted to know what last night meant to you. I love you. I meant what I said. I guess I just want to know if you feel the same way, or if it was just because-“

“Of course I feel the same way. You’re amazing Harry. I wasn’t using you.” I tell him. I’m hurt he thinks he isn’t worth being loved and that someone would just want sex from him.

“So what does this make us? We aren’t just friends anymore.” He says to me. Our drinks are brought over and we place our food orders.

“I want a relationship.” I continue the conversation. “I’m just afraid… Anxious I guess.”

“About what?” He asks me and I put my hands on top of his.

“It’s nothing you’ve done. I’m just afraid of getting hurt again. I didn’t see the signs with Robbie. I know you’re not like that, but can you blame me for being afraid? I know it sounds so stupid. I just need to move on and-“

“It’s not stupid at all, and I completely understand. I don’t want to force you to date me if you’re not ready, but I’ll do anything to make you comfortable. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. If you just want to be friends and try another time I will wait. I understand why you would be afraid, but I don’t want you to be. I want to make you feel safe.” He tells me and tears well up in my eyes.

I’ve never felt safer than what I did last night. I want to feel that all of the time. Would Harry really bend like he says? I guess maybe he would. He poured the wine down the sink yesterday. He said that he would do anything for me. He loves me.

“Don’t cry, love. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He says, taking his hand and wiping away the tears that have fallen down my cheeks.

“They’re not bad tears.” I say, trying to gain my composure. Harry gives me a sad smile. “You make me feel safer than I’ve ever been.” I tell him. He wipes another tear.

“Do you want to give it a try? There’s no pressure April.” He tells me. I look into his green eyes and remember the progress we have made. We hated each other. Through that he found out my secret. I was injured and Harry was there every single day, without fail. He gave me every minute that he didn’t have to work. He helped me be able to walk again. Now we are here. It’s been a long road, but one I am glad I took. I’m glad we don’t hate each other any more. I’m so fucking glad.

I nod my head at Harry.

“I need to hear you say it, love. I got to hear you say it.”

“Yes.” I tell him. “I want to try.”

The smile that breaks across his face is just as big as the one he gave me when I took my first solo steps. His face is blushing red. It’s adorable. He stands from the table. His hands come and hold my face and he places a slow kiss on my lips. His lips are so soft. I could kiss him all day.

He separates and sits back down.

“All I ask for is patience. I’ve got some healing to do.” I tell him.

“You have my patience. I promise.” He says. “I want to help you in whatever way I can.”

Our food comes to the table and Harry and I eat with smiles plastered onto our faces. We sit and discuss our plans for the day as we finish our plates. Harry holds my hand from across the table.

“How about we go on a tiny shopping trip?” He says. “I want to look around at some things.”

“Of course.” I tell him. I know my leg is going to ache walking that much, but he looks so happy to be going with me. I have to make it happen.

We go to the car and head to the store. When we pull in, Harry parks as close to the front as he can without taking the disabled parking spaces. We walk in and Harry looks at the carts, and then looks at me.

“Which one would you like? They have the power scooters with the baskets or I can push you in this wheelchair with a shopping basket…” he continues on and on with the different options. He didn’t say anything but he thought of me when parking and now. I wasn’t going to say anything.

“A regular cart is okay Har. Save those for people that need them.”

“You need one. You still are having pain in your leg. You’re allowed to take one. That’s what they are there for.” He tells me. “I don’t want you to make your pain worse.”

“Har-“

“Nope. Pick one please.” He begs me. I pick the wheelchair with the basket because I’ve seen the powered one’s battery die in the middle of people shopping.

“Are you sure it’s okay that you push me? I know I’m probably heavy.”

“You’re not heavy. I don’t mind pushing you if that’s what you want.” He tells me. I sit down and lower the basket. “Ready?” I nod at him. He waits until I verbalize my approval. We begin to go through the store, Harry grabbing a few things for dinner for the week. He walks me around some of the different departments. We walk into some of the home decor isles.

“Harry, Look!” I say excitedly. “They have daisies!” I point to the section with a whole row of daisy themed items. A clock, blankets, pictures, and wall decorations. I pick up each one and take mental note of the items for when I get paid. I look at Harry who has come around to the front of me to look at the items. He looks back at me with rosy cheeks and a smile. “What?” I ask him when he stares at me for a second.

“Nothing. I just don’t realize you were so loopy when you saw daises. Thought maybe you snuck some medicine from the hospital.”

“Ha ha. Very funny. They are just my favorite flower. They are so cute.”

“Who needs pain killers when you have flowers?” He picks on me.

“God knows I need something to help the headache I get from you.” I joke back. We continue around the store, looking at various items. I pick them up, admire them, and put them back on the shelf.

“I can’t wait to be able to decorate my room.” I say as we pay for the few items Harry grabbed. We return the wheelchair and go to the car. When we get home I lay on the couch and open my novel that I have been reading. Harry is doing various tasks around the house.

“Hey Loopy, don’t forget that you wanted to call set up an appointment with a therapist.” He reminds me. “You also have PT in a few days.”

“Thanks.” I say. I pick up my phone and go to another room and make the phone call. I give them my insurance and every personal detail they ask for. My appointment is the same day as PT, but at a later time. I figured I might as well do all of the running around on the same day.

I go back out to the living room and see Harry sitting on the couch with my book. I see my bookmark is still in place, but he has started from the beginning.

“The beginnings a little slow, but the book picks up pace the farther along you get.” I tell him from behind the couch. His eyes meet mine. He puts his finger in the book and holds his arms out.

“Do you want to cuddle with me? I can read to you if you want?”

“Okay.” I tell him. I go around to the front of the couch and lay down. My head lays on his chest and the rest of me is draped over him, legs tangled together. He begins to read where he left off. I don’t mind that I have already read this part, because I get to hear his voice read it to me. I get to lay here with him and just relax.

I listen to his voice and the gentle vibrations in his chest. His heartbeat is loud and is racing, but he comes off with a cool tone while reading.

I slowly drift off to sleep as one of his arms hold me, and the other holds the book he is still reading.

I wake up to see the book in the table with a second bookmark placed in it. Harry is asleep, his harms wrapped around me.

I lay here for a while and just appreciate him. I want to do something nice for him to show him that. He has helped me so much and he deserves something nice in return. I feel a small pinch of guilt in my stomach. I have nothing to give him. I have no money. I can’t do much of anything until I am back in my feet at work. Maybe if I just tell him how much he means to me until then.

I wiggle my way out of his arms and give him a pillow to hold instead. I go back to his room and grab a notebook and pen. I sit down at the kitchen table and begin to write.

Dear Harry,

In the whole universe of possibilities, I never tried to think of getting out of Robbie’s control. It gave me too much hope. I tried plenty of times. I never succeeded. I wanted to just lay down and die. Give up.

You were never privy to my world at home. You only knew me at work. You knew the neat freak. The only who always yelled at you for being lazy and sweeping the door mats with a broom instead of the vacuum. The one who always hated your smile, because you never used it on me. You used it on your customers.

When you found me covered in bruises, I thought everything was going to come crashing down around me. In a way it did. My whole world changed in an instant. Someone else knew. There was that hope of getting out again. I didn’t know it was going to take getting shot, but at least I’m safe now.

I didn’t know by opening up to you I was going to gain a best friend. A boyfriend. I didn’t know I was going to move in with you and get to see your smile every day when I woke up. You’ve always had such a beautiful smile. I always wanted you to smile at me.

Slowly through this experience you opened up to me. You told me about your sister. You told me stories about the both of you. I wish I could have met her. I want to meet your mom. I want to see all of your embarrassing baby pictures she keeps. I want to know all of you.

You have been so kind to me. You’ve gone above and beyond for me and I’ll never be able to repay you for your kindness to me. I want to get you gifts, but I can’t right now. Know that as soon as I can, I will get you something to say thank you, but right now all I have is words. All I have is this letter.

I’m excited to start this journey with you by being your girlfriend. I didn’t know I could love somebody so quickly. For a long time I wanted to believe that love wasn’t real. It was something society made up or some mass hysteria. I knew I was wrong because I was capable of loving with my whole heart. It was a matter of finding someone who could love me the way I love them. And I found you.

I love you Harry Styles. I love you. I wish I had a big enough vocabulary to express this to you but I don’t have the words. I love you Harry. You mean the world to me.

-April

I sign the letter and fold it up. I place it on the table. I put the notebook away. I return to the kitchen.

Harry and I skipped lunch since we went shopping and napped, so I figure we could use an early dinner.

I look in the fridge and cabinets. I decide on hamburgers. I take the meat from the fridge and start making the patties. I heat a small groan and then light footsteps. I turn around to see Harry rubbing his eyes and walking towards me. I continue making the patties and placing them in the pan.

Harry comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

“This okay?” He asks, sleep still thick in his voice.

“Yeah this is okay.” I tell him. “Figured we could eat a little early.”

“Good deal.” He says. He helps prepare our burger toppings while I cook them.

I get distracted when I hear Harry’s phone ring. He cleans his hands and goes to answer it. He puts it on speaker.

“Hi mom!” He says excitedly, bringing a smile to both of our faces.

“Hi honey. How’s your day going?” She asks. I turn back around while Harry answers her and realize the burgers have burnt on one side. I mumble a curse word under my breath so his mom cannot hear me. I feel myself start shaking. I’m so irritated that I burnt those and I don’t want Harry to get mad at me for wasting food he bought. I put some more patties in, keeping a close eye on them. Harry and his mom talk some more as Harry finishes up the toppings. He looks over at me.

“Are you alright, love?” He asks me.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” I lie. I’m anxious.

“Mom. Is it okay if I call you back after dinner? April and I are about to eat.”

“That’s fine, love. Enjoy your meal! Tell April I said hello!” She says. “I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” He tells her and hangs up the phone. He comes closer to me. “Love, talk to me. What’s wrong?” He asks so sweetly.

“I burnt the first two patties. I got distracted. I’m so sorry.” I apologize.

“You don’t have to be sorry. We can scrap them and eat the rest. It’s okay, love.” He tells me. He picks up the plate with the charcoal like patties. “Are these it?” He asks me and I nod. He walks the plate over and tosses the patties in the garbage can.

“I’m sorry Har. I didn’t mean to waste them. I know you spend your money on our food and-“

“Hey, look at me.” He says. He lightly puts his fingers under my chin and raises so I meet his gaze. “Accidents happen. I probably would have done the same thing. I’m not upset. I’m definitely not worried about money. It’s okay.” He says softly to me.

“Do you promise?” I ask him.

“Of course. Let’s finish the next batch and eat them. I know they are gonna taste delicious.” He says confidently.

We make our plates and sit down at the table. We begin to eat when Harry picks up the piece of paper.

“What’s this?” He asks, not having opened it yet.

“I wrote you a letter. I wanted you to read it. Just whenever you feel like it.” I tell him.

“Well I’ll read it after we eat.” He says. We finish our food and I start washing the dishes. I hear Harry unfold the paper at the table. I continue with the dishes.

I hear the letter being folded back up after a moment. I hear a sniffle. I turn around and see a tear running down Harry’s cheek. I quickly turn the water off and dry my hands. I rush over to him and wipe the tear away.

“Baby I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I tell him. He pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me.

“I don’t need any gifts. I got to know you. I have you. That’s enough.” He says. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I say in return.

We spend the evening cuddling on the couch and I watch Harry play a video game. When it’s time for bed, Harry carries me to his room and lays me down.

“I have opening shift tomorrow, so I’ll try not to wake you up.” He tells me.

“No it’s okay. I need to pack your lunch. Let me wake up with you.” I lay my head on his chest.

“If you want to. I know that’s really early.”

“I know.” I tell him and he places a kiss on my forehead

“Goodnight Loopy.” He whispers to me.

“Goodnight Har.” I whisper back. We both drift off to sleep.

When the alarm goes off this morning, I can’t help but groan. I most definitely do not miss the opening shift. Harry shuts off the alarm and wraps his arm around me.

“Can I just stay here?” He ask’s sleepily.

“No. You have to go. I’m sorry Har.” I say as I sit up, untangling his arms from me. I wipe my eyes. I get up out of bed and go to the kitchen. I quickly make his lunch. Harry meets me by the door.

“I’ll be back soon. I get off at noon. I love you.” He says. He plants a kiss on my lips. When we separate I tell him I love him too.

I go back to the bedroom and find some clothes to wear. This takes forever because I need to do laundry. I gather up my clothes and I put them in the washer. I also throw bedsheets and pillowcases in with it. I walk into the bathroom and brush out my hair. I begin to turn on the shower when I hear the door open.

“Did you forget something Har?” I yell. No answer. I turn the water off walk out to see what Harry needs when I freeze in my tracks. That’s not Harry. I hear a swift click of a gun.

“Don’t make a fucking sound. Don’t move.”

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 5 Part 7

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Continuing with Volume 1 - Chapter 2

The double spread of Vash here and the grim history of the planet they're stuck in being contrasted by the title "LOONEY TUNES" is darkly funny ngl.

Then we cut to this?!

I know Vash is flexible and can get into wacky pretzel poses a lot from '98 and a bit less so from Tristamp, but this is something else. Combined with the sound effects, one would think this is a NSFW manga of a different genre.

Nightow loves to use sharp lines and triangle shapes, doesn't he? Not an expert opinion tho. Just something I'm noticing.

Did.. DID HIS HEAD JUST BOUNCE OFF CONCRETE?!!!! BABY GIRL!!!

Ahhh.. Dark humor. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Gremlin Baby Girl Vash using the age old tactic of hide-and-seek: people rarely look up!

I love their dynamic so much which I miss a lot in Tristamp. I mean Roberto-Meryl mentor dynamics was good and the series gave her a good origin, but still... I can't wait to see Milly again.

I think this is manga only, right? I don't remember something like this in '98. Meryl can be silly but it's a different kind of silly. Remembering how in denial she was in '98 about Vash being Vash is funny.

LMAO!!! His face! HIS FUCKING FACE!!!

Ok. So, in terms of art, '98 really gets the manga. TriStamp can be goofy but not to this extent... yet. I think Studio Orange is really doing their best to maximize 3D animation in replicating silly anime/manga expressions. They did it during the Jeonora Looney Toons Chase and a bit when Wolfwood was flyswatted by Meryl with a van. Maybe there'd be more next season (?)

Ok. Remember this from '98.

"WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO USE THE GRENADE?! HE CAN'T BE IDENTIFIED FOR THE REWARD IF HE'S PILE OF PULP, YOU DUMBASS!!!"

The trials these insurance ladies have to go through. OMFG. And this is just the start!

Oh... I can print this into a bookmark actually.

Oh. This is very different from '98. But between a bandit or a mob, Meryl and Milly have better luck making a bandit listen to what they have to say. Also, swapping a megaphone with dozens of doughnuts here won't improve matters either.

Meryl and Milly's anime counterparts had it easy at first. They had a trial run! Poor Manga Meryl and Milly didn't get that at all!

A black cat in these despairing times?

Ok... This was a bit later in '98... I think.

But I think TriStamp followed the manga's line of events more closely.

Wow... There'll probably more of these but the double spreads in this manga are always good.

Badass Ladies in longcoats!

What else is there to say about them? They're mad and they know how way over their heads this situation is, but they do their job anyway.

LOOK HOW THEY CRUMPLED THE CHAIRMAN LIKE A TISSUE PAPER!!!

Sigh... A terrible sight it is. This is the third iteration I've seen. It's the same old thing just in another coat of paint I've missed until now. This is tiring and frustrating as a reader/watcher.

While these people do show a bit of remorse because they acknowledge how nice Vash is and the story makes it clear that this was a last resort, it's practically a flimsy band-aid on a bleeding fatal wound.

Oh fuck. Was this number also mentioned in '98?! I can't remember.

But fifty?! Oh, Vash...

And he can't even cry to mourn his sisters...

And another incredible spread in here. Is this style just a Nightow thing? Two pages split into three sections of narrow-wide-narrow? I don't know the correct term. However, it seems to show up a lot. Trying to remember if other mangas I've read does the same...

Ooof. This was not easy on the eyes and it took a while for me to understand what happened. When I did tho... Oof... Vash Baby Girl.. Ow...

However... I know anime physics means character can bend their body like pretzels easy peasy, but what if Vash and Nai just have cartilage in place of bones? Or would that be just weird? All I can think about it '98 Wolfwood bending and twisting Vash 180 degrees during their first meeting.

Wait... What if Wolfwood's bones have been turned into just cartilage too during the experiments? No... These do not make sense!!!

And here it is again! Two pages split into three: narrow-wide-narrow.

AHAHAHA. MILLY NOOO LET MERYL BREATHE!

[jokersjr]

MY LITTLE PHAETHON!!!!! (my adamandi/taopp sideblog where i put most of the related posts: @soundbodys)

long explanation of their names and cutie marks under the cut!!!

eyewitness (vincent!!): eyewitness is an earth pony, not really something of note here but he does not have any magic. i kind of wanted to incorporate the "i don't know what i'm good at or want to do for the phaethon, but i do have skills" into their cutie mark. so! it is a pair of binoculars with the silhouette of a pony, symbolizing his skill for watching and observing people (stalking people lol). this cutie mark was probably earned through remembering little details about his other classmates and such, instead of like stalking people from the get-go. eyewitness was likely a chosen name, just like vincent is, BUT i bet that it was changed to fit in (just like vincent!). in mlp g4, most ponies have three-syllable names unless they are very special, like twilight sparkle or celestia. i imagine he must have had either a four or two syllable name and changed it to fit in better with the other ponies. possibly a dialect or even language barrier.

veracity (quincy): veracity comes from a very notable unicorn family, long and established. this does reflect in the length and sharpness of their horn. veracity likely changed their name from veritas, to make it sound a little more gender neutral. the book cutie mark is turned away from the viewer on purpose, and the ribbon bookmark is also very intentional. it's meant to look like a scripture book or bible, yet hidden from view. you can interpret that as you wish! the name kind of contrasts eyewitness', since it was changed from three syllables to four instead of four to three. it's supposed to have them parallel in a way. veracity is similar to veritas anyway, since they both mean truth!

paper trail (beatrix): this one is straightforward, paper trail is likely a "better spelled" version of something like papor trail (like beatriz/beatrix), intended to be spelled like vapor trail. her cutie mark is also kind of straightforward, although the string could be interpreted both as a string or a trail!

chisel chip (ambrose): i was actually between this name, chisel weight, and marbleweight for this one! i felt like both the names would be too on the nose and the ultimate choice of "chisel chip" sounded the most like a pony name. i don't actually have much more analysis on him. pegasus because they tend to be more athletic and his cutie mark is straighforward, although i did consider making the dumbbell be marble but it didn't really translate well to the image

cozy keen (portia): i did actually have trouble with this one, since portia doesn't know what she wants to do until later in life (that is, later than cutie-mark-receiving age). i decided to have her cutie mark be dedicated to her curiosity with the magnifying glass, plus it represents her investigatory skills later in life! the heart is for the amount of heart she has, since she cares so much about all the people around her! "cozy keen" comes from the idea of being keen, or clever! cozy is for both the alliteration and feeling that it has.

that should be it! although i am planning something similar for taopp (evil grin)

[technicallywrite]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @envexenveritas, you're enabling me to procrastinate on writing a rather tricky scene.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just two but one of them is sort of a song parody (about writing fanfiction, to the tune of Losing My Religion), not a fic. But the question says 'works' and... for better or worse, it's a work, I guess.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

393,520 across both works but the song is just 273 so, yeahhhh. That should tell you everything you need to know about my One Fic.

(42 chapters so far, in case you're wondering, including one that was a whopping 20k+ words)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who, specifically the new UNIT gang, with heavy emphasis on the Big Finish audios in terms of sourcing story material. I'm basically rewriting the new UNIT storyline, centered on the developing relationship between Osgood and Kate Stewart.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I mean, if we're specifically talking fics, I have just the one. So it's my best fic and my worst fic at the same time, on any metric you choose to apply!

My Cosmos is Yours, aka Cosmos or sometimes Cosmosgate, has 297 kudos so far. Also, 30 bookmarks and 10,493 hits, in case that matters.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Do I reply to comments? Hah. Yes, yes I do. Religiously. Not always immediately, as sometimes I need a bit of time to digest them before replying; but I do read them all right away and I reply to everything eventually.

I welcome every kind of comment, from one-line "GAAHAHHHHHH" eructations to multi-paragraph analyses, rambles and vocal if not always coherent expressions of enthusiasm.

Funny thing, there's a bit of a culture of commenting that has grown around Cosmos. For reference, it has 1,194 comments (though half of that are replies from me).

Part of it, I suspect, is that word has got around that I'm pathetically needy for comments (I make no secret of it), so most of my regular readers have got into the habit of feeding me comments at every chapter, which is very lovely of them. And perhaps because there are so many comments on every chapter, some of the more occasional readers do also seem to find themselves motivated to leave comments, which is a wonderful effect, if true.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I haven't finished a fic yet so, no overall endings to speak of, but if I look across the 42 chapters I've written so far, Chapter 38: Endgame has got to be the most grim in terms of where it leaves Osgood and Kate.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hah well if we apply the same principle of looking across Cosmos chapters, Chapter 42: Life, the Universe and Everything has got to be the winner, with no fewer than three happy endings (one of them a double), if you'll pardon the phrase.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far, no. I occasionally get razzed by my British regulars for committing Americanisms (most famously, writing 'faucet' instead of 'tap') but it's all in good fun.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. Though I've been told it's not actually smut, it's erotica, which is the best compliment I can imagine. It's all character-driven, and it's very necessary to the story (I say to justify myself). I won't put any labels on it; I'll just say that by intent, it's loving, it's very mature, but it's never unnecessarily explicit. Though it does get people quite hot under the collar, reportedly, which is very gratifying!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Well, I did pull in Malcolm Tucker from "The Thick of It" for one chapter, and he'll be showing up again because he's so fun to write. But it's not a zany kind of crossover.

I don't think I have any crazy crossovers in me, at least not at this moment in time; when I'm in the mood for that sort of thing I go to Lambrookmist.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'd be terrible as a fic co-author. I've co-authored a technical book in my professional life and it went well enough (the book got published and we're proud of it) but I suspect it was a frustrating experience for my co-author. I'm very critical and I change my mind about important stuff all the time.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Osgood/Kate Stewart obviously. With a side of Gabrielle/Xena and Janeway/Seven. There may be a pattern there.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm like a dog with a bone, I will finish everything, eventually. Although with Cosmos, I can't imagine running out of story to tell anytime soon. It could take years. Unless I find a good stopping point and just finish + start a sequel. That's an option.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Accurate characterization, I think? I'd like to think I do a pretty decent job with pacing and balancing action vs. talk. Also my real-life scientific/technical background helps me write credible plot details for our two favorite science geniuses.

From a stylistic standpoint, I've been told my writing has a cadence and musicality that's very enjoyable. That's something I care a lot about, so, yay.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm painfully aware that I overuse certain phrases. And I overthink things a lot, so it takes me ages to ship out new chapters. Especially now that I have a full time day job again, which I didn't when I started writing Cosmos— long story for another time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

A few lines here and there can be very helpful when the setting calls for it (the characters are abroad, or working with people from different cultural backgrounds) but you don't want to overdo it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well, I wrote a one-off Picard/Crusher ficlet in the late 90s, so I'm legally obligated to say Star Trek: TNG. But I never wrote anything else (fic-wise) until Cosmos.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Surprise, it's Cosmos!

In case anyone is curious, I'm about 1/3 of the way through writing Ch. 43, so hopefully it won't be nearly as long til the next update. (For reference, it took me three months to get Ch. 42 out.)

I think I'm supposed to tag some other writers now? Let's say @starfleetwitch, @kowarth, and gosh I need to look up some usernames. Will add those later. Got to go feed my family now.

EDIT: adding @colourmestoked04 to the taggees