#thoughts from a female aspie

[bacchaeslumberparty]

My new blog to explore how I may possibly be autistic! I’ve scored high on the RAADS-R (143) and the CAT-Q (170) in a way that is highly indicative of autism. Above average scores for autistic females all around. However it may also be a combination of suspected anxiety, depression, ocd, trauma and isolation! All undiagnosed. Unfortunately I do know how this sounds, but fortunately I don’t require the validation of anyone on the internet, especially due to them not living in my body

I will be reblogging posts mostly, since I doubt many will interact with my blog and this is for my thoughts. But any comments are always appreciated! I’m learning.

My autistic friend suggested I might have autism after we’ve known each other for 5 years, and I brushed it off, but I took a few tests where their neurotypical friend scored low, they scored high and I scored high too. I can’t say I know for sure and this will be a long journey for me, no doubt, with little to no support from my parents in this area so I will rely on my own memories the best I can.

I stole this url and supposed what else would be better for me to use it for than this! I love classics a good deal and feel free to chat with me if you don’t make it weird 👍

Edit: Took the Aspie Quiz! I don’t know how reliable it is however

Edit 2: In addition, I took the AQ and got a score of 37. Also highly indicative of autism

[bestfriendforhire]

Children of BFFH, Entry 184

 Watching as Valeria, Doc, and Dea—who started with a sort of male space elf look and changed to look like a female klingon from Star Trek after only an hour—as they added logs, rocks, and sticks to the super basic cart we built, I couldn’t help grinning to myself.  Without my magic telling me there was nothing actually there, I wouldn’t be able to tell that the sleigh and resources weren’t real.

 :I’m still jealous that you’re an engineer!: complained Aika while giving us an image of her performing akanbe, pulling down her eyelid while sticking her tongue out at me.

 :What she said!: agreed Maimo immediately.  Where Aika was on security detail, Maimo was assigned the role of electrician, which would add a bunch of info we already knew to her HUD when looking at circuitry.  Worse yet for her, she only really could use her profession if something broke or if we played so much that we could advance our camp from suuuper basic to using basic electricity, which wouldn’t be happening on this trip with the time we had left.

 My sisters and I designed these suits and described what we wanted in the game to Momma Mila with the idea that this could be another game for us to play at home, but we couldn’t resist having a field test when we were reminded of the camping trip!

 :I can’t complain at all.  Getting to see Aspy attempt to fire an assault rifle was amazing!: insisted Maika with a mental laugh to us all as she replayed what she could remember for us again.

 There was a great deal of discussion about what types of weapons to allow in our game. ��All four of us could easily build an actual laser weapon, but there were numerous issues with actually using one.  None of us knew a way to create a viable, tiny power supply for a weapon that wouldn’t be far too heavy.  Battery packs could work, but we weren’t great at creating power gauges that were accurate enough for our tastes, which was also an issue for other electronic weaponry.

 Despite the dramatically increased weight, typical projectile weapons used ammo that was far easier to reproduce with the simple technologies left to us after the Artemis V crashed.  Yes, we could harvest the escape pod for some electronic components, but no one would really want to risk disabling their emergency beacon by draining all of the power from the pod.  Creating a precision charging table with a stable power flow would take a whole lot of work compared with mixing some primers and gunpowder, creating projectiles, and reusing the casings.

 :You’re oversimplifying things.: argued Maimo, who had been a big proponent of using electronic weapons.  They did make far more sense on a spaceship for the reduced weight, but we designed this game with the intention of being stranded and wanted some things to be simple-ish.  :Yeah-yeah.  I lost the argument.: she sulked in response to my thoughts.

 “What’s this?” questioned Valeria as she held out a large, red log that was seeping a glowing, orange substance.

 I grinned in excitement, making sure my sisters saw what she held.  “Are there more of those trees in the area?” I asked hopefully, knowing that this may be one of the “unique properties of certain plants” Momma Mila mentioned during our designing phase.  She had hinted that there may be a viable bioelectric power source on this planet.  The idea that a plant might produce enough current to potentially run some electronics was intriguing!  I could feel my sisters waiting for Valeria’s reply with as much eagerness as I felt.

 “Not that I saw.” replied Valeria with a shrug.  “It’s pretty though, right?”

 There was just a moment where I almost pulled a Crazy and gave in to ranting about the possibilities, but I resisted.  “We should be on the lookout for more unusual plants such as that for our botanist to examine.” I replied, glad to see that Doc and Dea heard me.  Seeing Dea carrying a log that I doubted I could lift, I almost commented on that being an inhuman feat, but Dea was still a klingon in appearance.  Considering the varying levels of strength klingons displayed, I couldn’t decisively state that carrying so much would be impossible for a klingon.

 :Maybe we should ask Momma Mila for her opinion later.: suggested Aika, who felt like she was frowning in thought.  Her thoughts were partially coming to us, but she wasn’t openly sharing, which probably meant she was debating with herself about klingons before letting us know if she had a solid answer.

 Doc, who had also been watching Dea’s feat of strength, commented “If this game could support my magic, I could complete things much more quickly too.”

 Dea just smirked at her before adding another large log to the cart.  “We’re going to have to get this much to base camp, or things will just be spilling out  as we try to pull it.”

 “Nothing could roll out if I could use my magic.” complained Doc before she sighed and crawled on top, acting as if she was going to hold things in place.

 I couldn’t really blame her.  Strength-wise, Doc couldn’t compete with any of us.  Dea could do amazing things with her body to increase her abilities in different ways.  I was naturally stronger than a human due to my Slayer heritage, and Valeria put us all to shame, being a vampire.  In short order, our first load was back to camp.

[lonli-est00]

blogging?

So. I'm alone on new years as i'm sure many other people are as well, and i was feeling particularly melancholy, and wanted something to distract myself with, so i decided i would try making a blog of some kind, just something to collect my thought on to, on any topic really, and since it's the first day of 2023 what better day/night to start, right?

I guess general how am i doings, are that my back tooth chipped today. I'll have to make a call about it in the morning. It's a tooth, that became impossible to clean after a wisdom tooth was removed, via surgical procedure, and the other ones left settled back to close. I had some mild pain a couple months in, but didn't think that much of it, until there was a noticeable cavity, that had become black in colour. I have a dentist appointment made, but that one is february and i can't wait that long with the tooth being how it is.

Also i finished Chainsaw man season 1 today, i've red the manga, and was super excited to see (minor spoiler) Reze at the end as a teaser for season 2. She is my absolute favourite female character, from the original series. I really love Power and Kobeni a lot as well, but for me i think Reze is more aspirational and Power and Kobeni more relatable. In my bad opinion Power and Kobeni are the two extremes of the female aspie spectrum. Now i don't belive, that male and female aspies have that much difference, the only notable one is social conditioning, and i think Kobeni represents the more commonly under diagnosed end, and Power is more on the hyperactive, "badly behaved" end, who often get called boyish, because of fitting to the more common traits. Anyway i guess i could add, that across the board i really do enjoy female and woman characters written by Tatsuki Fujimoto. Togata from fire punch might be my personal favourite out of all the characters, so i'm looking forward to fire punch getting an adaptation, although some parts might have to be cut out, now that i think about it.

Lastly i want to add a couple song, that i've listened to here:

[thoughtsfromafemaleaspie-blog]

#colortheworld #toneitdowntaupe #doitinredinstead ‍ Rainbow stripe background with text reading “Reasons not to support Autism $peaks: A series from TFAFA. Aut10K: The genome sequencing partnership. Because nothing says respect like poking around our genomes without our consent for something there is no evidence to support is even there.” #BoycottAutismSpeaks #ScrewBlue #LoveNotFear #AwarenessIsNotAcceptance #DifferentNotLess

[soulvomit]

Like... I adopted into autism culture at the point at which it was still thought “men autists have extreme male brain and women autists just have male brain”

Like, that was something I latched onto hard. It explained me to myself

But now we don’t have that, and I’m not trans, and now we don’t even have a concept of a tomboy or a woman who *mentally or emotionally* identifies more with conventional men, and even identifying NB is full of weirdness now. And thing is, I was one of those people who felt “my gender is nerd” or even “my gender is autism” and there is absolutely no way I can pick apart what in my life feels autistic from what in my life just feels gender non-conforming, I can’t

I can’t separate what is an autistic experience from what is a gender non-conforming experience, or even an experience of having to navigate a compulsory normie experience of womanhood as someone who didn’t have a conventional girlhood and had to assimilate later for survival based reasons, but then I run into the thing of... so much LGBTQ culture (except for some gay men, some trans women - who I so often seem to connect well with, and some kinky people) perceived some kind of Uncanny Valley/failed safety check with me, and spit me back out over, over, over, and I’m left with autism being the *only* real explanation because this transcended cultural background and even subculture in some cases. Only incredibly visibly ND women accepted me... and by ND I mean more like they were 90s female Aspies, not modern autistic women. 

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Big Announcement

You might have noticed if you follow me very closely that I have been reblogging a lot of artwork lately of characters that nobody has ever seen before. Well there is a reason for that!! I am working on my first ever cartoon that is my own idea!! Right now it’s currently just a script of episodes and an idea of how I want things to pan out. 

Young Elise Elderheart is a teenager in high school with aspergers. She is also an incredible artist. When she was in kindergarten during an art competition she drew a dragon lighting a teakettle with his fire. She named him Harold. Over the years through being an outsider and being bullied she shut herself off from a lot of people and doesn’t have any real friends. One day she finds a sketchbook in the trashcan and decides to take it home with her. Late that night she draws Harold in it only for her childhood imaginary friend to come to life. There is also Peyton, a hotheaded but softhearted penguin and Bernie a bunny that can do parlor magic tricks like cards and slight of hand. 

I also have voice actors in mind when I was creating these characters!! For Harold I was going for subverted expectations of the highest degree. This dragon is not your typical dragon. He loves doing yoga, meditation, braiding Elise’s hair and drinking tea. The voice that instantly came to my mind when I was designing how he would look and sound was Greg Cipes local beach bum and voice of Beast Boy and Michelangelo in the 2012 TMNT. Basically I just thought who would be the chillest voice possible. On the opposite end of the spectrum we have Peyton who is usually angry. I wanted to find somebody who has an iconic angry voice that I always look at and think OH that’s who that is I knew that. My favorite angry voice actor TM is John DiMaggio. He is also able to pull off emotional moments very well and I had that idea in mind for Peyton. Finally for the main character cast we have Bernie the magic Bunny. I wanted his voice to fit his optimistic attitude and who is the man known for the most optimistic character in modern cartoons?? Tom Kenny. I love his voice work and he’s a continual inspiration to me. There are also four side characters that come along mid-season Oswald the Otter who’s voice I had in mind was Rob Paulsen, Carl the Crab voiced by Rob’s best friend Maurice LaMarche, Tanya the tiger cub voiced by Tress MacNeille an absolute icon and Benjamin the Bee voiced by my fellow aspie  Corey Burton. 

I also have the episode list for the first season!! It’s mostly a fluff and slice of life story and I am still writing the pilot episode script at the moment. I am not a great artist so for right now it’s just going to be an original fic of my own design. 

Episode One: Pilot, my friend comes to life?!

Episode Two: Seating rearrangement, first friend?!

Episode Three: Joining the drama club?!

Episode four: Helping my brother with his science project, a handmade radio?!

Episode five: Group presentation, sensory overload?!

Episode six: Peyton goes missing?! Episode seven: Mall meet up with my desk partner

Episode eight: I got invited to a beach party?!

Episode nine: I have a crush on my friend?!

Episode ten: Big drama production, can I do it?!

Episode eleven: Peyton and Bernie dating?!

Episode twelve: I got invited to prom by my crush?!

Episode thirteen: First date?!

Episode fourteen: Four new friends?!

Episode fifteen: First boyfriend?!

Episode sixteen: My first female sleepover?!

Episode seventeen: Oswald and Carl make me a hoodie?!

Episode eighteen: Tanya cuts my hair?!

Episode nineteen: Date to the aquarium?!

Episode twenty: Bernie’s first magic show?!

Episode twenty one: Try making honey cupcakes for Benjamin?!

Episode twenty two: Calvin wants to give me my first friend birthday party?!

Episode twenty three: My parents surprise me with a trip to the pet store, I get a puppy?!

Episode twenty four: My sixteenth birthday, best one ever?!

(This will be my first post of the day, I have something else that I’m doing later this afternoon that I’m really excited about!!) 

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 4/4:

(I would like to state for future reference that, while I do not mind long/multi-part asks, if you’d like to engage in actual discussion with me over a non-Miraculous topic, my DMs - Tumblr Messenger - should be open; I lost pieces of three multi-part asks this time just due to Tumblr not sending the remaining part(s) so yeah, I just wanted to make that clear)

(like, this askplosion ended up being super long because of this section and that’s not really what I want to have going on since I’m supposed to be a primarily Miraculous blog; I don’t want to have to stop answering non-Miraculous related asks but I might have to if this keeps up:)

.:New non-Miraculous Asks:.

Anonymous said:

What are your experiences with some really rude anons?

It’s partly my fault when it happens. Like I’ve said before, I’m an aspie, and part of what that means is I struggle to understand situations emotionally. I can come off as insensitive or read the mood wrong which often leads to people misunderstanding my intentions or where I’m coming from.

More often than not, what I’m saying will make 100% sense to me but not the person/people reading it. I also stick a lot more firmly to my opinions than I should because people tell me I fold too easily, and I come off as more egotistical than I actually am to cover up my low self-esteem lol.

So yeah, can’t think of any experience in particular but sometimes it might be my fault? At least I suspect that it is?

Anonymous said:

“Killed by kindness” makes me think of an assassin who kills people by giving hugs and compliments to people and the occasion gift that isn’t tampered until thre target does like Conrad Birdie making women swoon into fainting by singing.

omg

yes

Anonymous said:

You're watching Yashahime right now? rip

MARINETTE TAKE 2 MOROHA DESERVES BETTER

SETSUNA HAS SO LITTLE REASON TO HANG OUT WITH THE OTHER TWO GIRLS

IF I SEE ANOTHER DEUS EX TOWA I’M GONNA KICK SOMETHING

(so yes, I’m watching Yashahime)

Anonymous said:

Since someone recommended Remarried Empress, I would like to recommend my own webcomic: Princess Love-Pon! It's about a young girl named Lia Sagamore who becomes the titular magical girl and purifies people's hearts when they're tainted by the Dark Queen! It's really cool due to its diversity, the main character is black and her best friend is Afro-Latina, the villain and her prince son are also black, and there's a Japanese girl, a black guy, and an Indian girl. Plus, loads of pink and frills!

Thank you very much, though I actually don’t take recommendations, even from close friends. The Remarried Empress anon wasn’t a recommendation; they were more pointing something out to me and then I went to confirm.

Anonymous said:

Unrelated to MLB: Which Pokémon are your favourites?

I used a “Favorite Pokemon Picker” because I prefer going by generations to pick favorites and that was the easiest way of going about it. I struggle picking super favorites so here’s what I got form each generation! (my only rule was “one Pokemon per evolution line” with an exception of the Eevee line since they’re different types, and also Alolan/Galarian forms)

(note: the blue-patterned Vivillon is my favorite and I honestly don’t like Charizard normally but the Y version actually slims him down and gives him the wings I feel he should have; it’s an improvement of the design so it gets my seal of approval, I don’t like the X version at all)

(lol I was looking through this after I was done and find it really funny how it’s like, 50% cute things and then the other 50% is just EDGY, there’s very little in-between with me I guess)

Anonymous said:

Bridgerton the Series: Yay or nay? Sorry if you haven’t seen it or it’s not your thing. I was just curious.

Never seen it, though when I brought up to someone, they didn’t recommend it to me at all ahaha.

Anonymous said:

I previously kept having this argument about The Bechdel Test with someone. She keeps insisting that the test is invalid because there's nothing wrong with talking about men and that it was created for lesbians only, and not for feminists, with the implication that being a lesbian somehow means that you dislike men or want them gone. And she also thinks the test is about NEVER talking about men, rather than merely occasionally talking about other things. I keep telling her otherwise, but...

jdfhkgdfhjgdfg “lesbians only”

now all I can imagine is “lesbians only” sections at restaurants and such

Anonymous said:

Have you ever played Akinator, with or without the Miraculous Ladybug characters? Because I played it with Ochaco from MHA and Marinette and he guessed them within a second(can your character control gravity? Is your character a protagonist?). I even played it with myself as the "character" and he guessed "your shadow" lol. How about you?

I’ve played Akinator before but I don’t specifically remember what I was searching for lol.

Anonymous said:

The cast for the newest Power Rangers series got revealed, and I hate that as soon as I saw the Pink Ranger's bio mentioned she was an internet journalist, I thought of Alya. I really hope she doesn't have the same problems as Alya in the series proper.

fhgdfkgd journalists have been ruined for us forever

Anonymous said:

Have you noticed that in many shows, especially shonen shows, people tend to hate the most "feminine" female character? Like, in Naruto it was Sakura, in Death Note it was Misa, in My Hero Academia it was Ochaco(although a lot of people like her so I'm not so sure about that last one?). The most hated character in one too many a shonen is almost always the "girliest" of the characters. They're always claimed to be useless or reliant on a man. And this is within the fandom who should know better!

It probably didn’t help with Sakura that she was decked out in pink hair; that’s an instant girl label for you (or lesbian label, depends on the person :P).

I don’t think I’ve been in enough fandoms to have such an experience but I definitely see where you’re coming from.

Anonymous said:

Rewatching Chat Blanc and Here To Help from Star vs. and hearing Adrien/Marco tell Marinette/Star that they always liked the girls from the beginning makes me so pissed. It's not that I don't ship Starco(I do! But I also like MarcoxJanna), although I don't ship the love square, but I'm so annoyed with writers finding the need to make the audience "know" that the main ship's characters "always" liked each other, as if that makes their love for each other more true, even if it's obvious they had other crushes? Like, what happened to Kagami Tsurugi? Jackie-Lynn Thomas?

News flash: Teenagers are allowed to have crushes on multiple other people before they find "the One". It doesn't mean their love for that "One" is any less valid. And if you still want to pull the "they always liked each other since they first met", at least make it actually TRUE!!! Don't have them have crushes on other people before moving on to the "official" crush and be all like "Oh, by the way, I liked you from the start," when it's dead obvious they didn't. You're doing a disservice to the romantic "false" leads.

I'm willing to forgive Star's crush on Oskar and Tom since she's not the one claiming she always liked Marco(even though she fell in love with him LONG before he fell in love with her, which is a nice turn of events), although her "love" for Oskar was merely an infatuation at most and I personally don't see why it was needed. Why don't they just say that their old crush didn't do it for them???

UGH, I remember watching that show and being so annoyed because I really liked Marco and Jackie and wanted them to be a thing but I knew that they’d pull Starco in the end because of course they would.

It also totally makes it seem as if love is the most powerful relationship there is (aros would like a word), which is so bizarre when there are so many “power of friendship” tropes. Like, a male and female lead have to get together because their relationship is the strongest.

The love square would hold so much more meaning to me without this love drama nonsense. It’s tiring.

Anonymous said:

Have you seen Yuki Yuna Is a Hero? If so, then what are your thoughts on it? I was thinking of watching it but it seems to be another "taking away the empowerment of the magical girl genre by making the girls suffer instead" type story. I read about it on TV Tropes and apparently it's a deconstruction that takes after Madoka Magica which already puts a bad taste in my mouth, but then I got to the examples and they're basically about how girls who get magical powers lose their body parts one by one and that the reason only girls can be heroes is because "young girls have always been sacrifices".

Not to mention it was written by a man and aimed towards a seinen(adult men ages 17-35) demographic, making it torture porn for adult men. Also, both the laconic page for Yuki Yuna and Madoka Magica say "Being a magical girl sucks."(though for Yuki Yuna it adds "Unless you have the power of friendship.") and to be honest that kills any desire in me to watch the show. Should I give it a chance?

Oof.

Yeah, after bringing it up to a friend of mine, it was instantly recommended of me not to watch it, so I’d say, “no.”

Anonymous said:

Let's make one thing perfectly clear. I, love, love, LOVE Sailor Moon. And I love the transformations, too. But if there's one thing I don't love, it's that their outfits all look pretty much the same but with different colors/different lengths of gloves and shoes and stuff like that, and that they all have the exact same body type save for the one fat girl who's made to look bad. I don't like Madoka Magica, but at least they all had unique/different costumes(but they still have similar bodies).

We’re not allowed diversity here. Take your different body types to a show that cares; we’re all about femininity here and how girls can be beautiful and powerful no matter wha--oh wait...

Yeah, I don’t care for the design in Sailor Moon, but that’s because skirts don’t interest me design-wise unless it’s really unique/interesting.

(note that there’s a lot of talk about tomboys, sexism, and TV tropes and such below, and then Madoka Magica after that; that’s basically the rest of this askplosion:)

Anonymous said:

I just saw the thumbnail for a video called "Why You Should Watch Princess Tutu(Yes, I Know The Name Is Stupid)". Umm, why is it stupid exactly? Because it's "girly"? What is with people thinking that in order for a girly show to be good they have to first separate the show from its girliness in order to enjoy it? It's like how men will say a show is good despite it being girly, or that since it's good it's no longer girly. Nobody does this for boy shows, because boy things are "never" stupid.

Princess = girly thing

Tutu = girly thing

girly things = bad

That’s the formula~ They should’ve called it something edgier and manly so that more people would be interested.

Anonymous said:

I'm wary of any woman or girl who says, "I'm a girl, but I'd rather read books about guys" or "I'm a female writer but I mostly write stories about male characters". I feel like those women are the "not like other girls/one of the guys" type who suffer from internalized misogyny and don't like female characters. I also feel like they're the type to not care about female representation, because in their minds, girls shouldn't care about female role models. We can enjoy males just as much! I do!

To be fair, they might also just be writing about shirtless men doing “handsome” things. ;P

But nah, I see your point. Me personally, I try to find a balance of writing both, but I do think there can be bias.

Anonymous said:

Do you think it's okay to like a ship but acknowledge that it wouldn't be safe or healthy or condonable in real life? Because I was just thinking of how a lot of people like some really "toxic" ships like Veronica/JD in Heathers, Yuno/Yukki in Future Diary, Madoka/Homura in Madoka Magica(although some people don't like it because of its toxicity/like it but don't realize it's toxic), almost any villain/hero ship, the list goes on. But they're aware of the fact that it's not a good standard for healthy relationships in real life.

An alternative I've seen is people having a crush on "dangerous" characters like JD and Yuno, or Karma from Assassination Classroom(there's not a single video on YouTube with him in it that DOESN'T have comments full of people saying they want Karma to father their children), but still being aware of the fact that the character is a) not real and b) wouldn't be a good partner if they were real(and that's assuming they even want to be with you. But sometimes there's a good reason for falling in love with a "toxic/dangerous" character.

Take Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club! She's obsessed with the player(not the player CHARACTER, the flesh and blood player themselves) to the point of killing off all the other girls and "trapping" you in a room with her where she talks endlessly about lots of things. But she's actually a lonely girl who's driven insane by the fact that nothing around her is real. She latches on to you because you're the only other person who's real and sapient and has got a mind of their own. You're literally her outlet to the outside world.

She's personally my favorite character in the game due to her actually being a more fleshed out, sympathetic(and not in the idealized "moemoe" way), and realistic take on the Yandere archetype(which, like many moe archetypes, is kinda misogynistic in nature in that it reinforces submissiveness; it's basically animes version of "woman scorned".). So it makes sense that people would sympathize with her and want her to become real, because all she's ever wanted was to be real and to talk to real people. Especially since she really did care about her friends and even returned them back to life because she saved their backup files, taking herself out of the picture.

I read a few "Monika becomes real and lives with you" fanfictions where she's really sweet and not at all crazy and cares for you a lot, and it's never felt the same as all those other "Yandere/psycho lives with you and is your girl/boyfriend" type stories precisely because those stories tend to just glorify possessive partners that kill your loved ones, drive your family members to commit suicide, and tear up your stuffed animals and dollies for the sake of it, rather than go into why they're so crazy for you, and often reinforce Stockholm Syndrome.

Plus, those "things" she talks about in the empty room? They're actually quite smart and make you think about the world for a bit. Not many "crazy" type characters actually get that. They're all about how "I'll slice your boyfriend open with an axe if you don't date me wa ha ha", and even if they're not, it's all the fandom will focus on, to the point of ignoring any and all other aspects to their character. Because that "crazy in love" aspect is the most appealing part of them. Maybe it's due to forbidden fruit/bad boy(or girl) appeal? Who knows? But I'm starting to wonder if it's still as bad if people recognize the problematic aspects of "crazy in love" characters or "dysfunctional" relationships.

Because if they recognize it's not real and don't really want it for themselves, then it's probably not much of a problem. But if they just go on wanting it to be real and never take a step back and go "wait a minute, this isn't real love; they're only together because he latches onto the first girl to show him any kindness and affection and she's a doormat who doesn't want something bad to happen if she leaves him", then that's bad.

Obviously it's not as bad as being in love with literal stalkers, killers, and rapists in real life(which is an actual thing, believe it or not, it's called hybristophilia), because fictional characters will never be real. Karma Akabane will never be real. Yuno Gasai will never be real. JD will never be real. But loving fictional characters who do those things and not realizing the problem with it may cause people to seek out real criminals, so it's best to separate fiction from reality.

I can’t help judging a little internally, but yeah, I think people can ship whatever as long as it has that “not in real life” scenario going for it. It’s ultimately fiction, so just because I don’t like it and/or think that it’s bad doesn’t mean other people can’t ship it.

Anonymous said:

I'm getting tired of all the racists on TV Tropes getting upset whenever a trope has a Japanese name. Whether it's Tsundere, Yandere, Meganekko, Genki Girl, Bokukko, or any Japanese anime name, people will complain that the trope exists beyond anime so it shouldn't have a "cute anime name", and that it should instead just be given a broader(read: English) name with the same meaning. Or that the site is too obsessed with anime. I'm just sick of people saying that anime names are bad.

The other thing is that we don’t actually have English words for certain things? I mean, the whole reason we say, “tsundere,” is because it says everything in one word. It’s easy.

(Also, people are aware the the English language isn’t some unique thing that takes no inspiration from other languages, right? It’s a mix of things, so accept that other languages exist because we literally wouldn’t have English without them.)

Anonymous said:

Have you seen the TV Tropes reviews for "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic"? Holy crap, they are all a perfect example of the "Real Women Don't Wear Dresses" phenomenon that I have mentioned earlier and is so fucking present on this site. While some reviews praise the show for showing that "it's okay to be strong AND girly"(such as Hadles' review, which was really splendid), and that girl shows are no less good, others either insult the show by calling it "girly, saccharine, and stupid" as if "girly" is synonymous with anything bad about a show, or feel the need to distance it from its girliness in order to praise it as if a show can't be good if it's also girly.

Some people were saying things like "the show might seem girly at first, but it's actually a good, brilliant show with intricate plot twists, well-developed characters, and even some scary moments" and "the characters aren't just shallow girly-girls, they have depth!" So what, girliness is mutually exclusive to anything of value? One person even said that the Girl-Show Ghetto was the reason they couldn't get into the show or respect it. Just...wow.

And one review even said "Rarity's pretty tough for a girly girl!" Excuse me? Tough FOR a girly girl? So being a girly girl somehow automatically disqualifies you from being tough? Like "yeah, she's tough despite being a girly girl! Because girly girls aren't supposed to be tough."

It reminds me of the phrase "you're pretty for a black girl", which, while it's never been said to ME, I have heard other people complain about. It's sick and it hurts, just like this. And the few people who didn't say things like that still said that they couldn't get into the show at first because it looked "girly and vapid", before changing their minds and thinking that the show either proved their biases about girly shows wrong, no longer think it's girly since girly shows "can't" be good, or like it "despite" it's girliness.

And there were 70 reviews in all. 70 reviews full of this misogynistic "girly is bad" shit. So in conclusion nearly all the reviews on TV Tropes for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic were along the lines of one of three things. 1) "This show is girly so I looked past it because girly shows are dumb." 2) "This show is good despite being girly/the characters are good despite being girly." and 3) "This show is not girly to me at all because it is well-written and captivating and girly shows aren't capable of such things."

Granted, some people there were able and willing to call out those who judged the show badly for being girly(or gave it the "not like other girls" treatment, but in show form), as well as people warning other potential viewers to get rid of any potential bias they may have against it due to it being girly. But there were still more people insulting its girliness as a reason they think it sucks or denying its girliness to justify their liking of it than the other way around.

I would've accepted it in the form of "If you think this show is bad because of its inherent girliness, then you are wrong!" or "This show is proof that a show being girly or aimed at girls doesn't and shouldn't take away from its value, as people seem to believe." or "A girl can be girly and be a strong female character.", but no, instead I got shit like this. It's especially insulting when TV Tropes is a site that devotes itself in part to critiquing sexist tropes found in media, only to turn right around and reinforce them.

I don’t read TV Tropes that frequently, so I fortunately missed out on all of these complete idiots who associate girly products with being bad.

(that “pretty for a black girl” comment makes me hate all aspects of “expectations of beauty” and it’s like--plz let these die)

I could maybe see an argument for criticizing a girls show for being “saccharine” if it were like, “girls’ shows written by men who clearly don’t know how to write girls are usually bad,” because then it’s not a criticism of girls’ shows exactly but rather who keeps being put in charge of writing them.

Anonymous said:

I get so annoyed when people get upset when confronted with the matter of female representation with "what's so wrong with one show having a male protagonist or mostly men and one/a few women? Why do we have to include women in everything?" These people clearly do not understand that one show doing it is one thing, but when multiple shows do it, it's an obvious problem. It's even worse when they turn around and diss shows with largely female casts for "not having enough men".

And as for people getting upset that "every show has to include women/come with a checkbox nowadays", as if it's bad to include women in your story...look around. Women make up 50% of the population. They're literally everywhere. What reason do you have to not include a substantial amount of women?

These people act like male is the default and women are a last resort. They see no problem with men dominating a cast because it's justified(despite that not reflecting real life), and yet having female characters, or, hell, a female-dominated cast(I know they also don't reflect real life, but there are still female-dominated spaces; most colleges are 2/3 female) is "unrealistic" trying to fulfill a quota, or a straw feminist agenda, as if characters can't be female for their own sake. You shouldn't have to be forced include women because their presence should be a given.

How many stories nowadays take place in the war front in Viking times or whatever? A lot of men just don't want to include female characters or see them represented(well) in media because those who are overrepresented tend to want to stay that way. They likely also have insecurities about their masculinity and are worried about female characters flooding their shows with estrogen and ruining the shows they love, because they can't relate to female characters or enjoy shows about them without negating their girliness(ie. This show seems girly, but it's actually good), since they're ashamed to associate themselves with anything feminine due to looking down on women or seeing them as bad.

Plus they want to be the center of everything so the second a show is about mostly women they get upset and claim it's "sexist against men" because it's not about them. Hence why bronies(bless their souls) are made fun of for the grave sin of enjoying a female-centric show with a female protagonist and largely female characters. Granted, there are some freaky fans, but there's still some sexism at play here.

This reminds me of a post I saw about a boy who actually looked up to female characters because you can pick a role model who doesn’t fit your gender. Crazy concept, I know. ;P

And yeah, that’s how it goes with equality. People who are best/most represented don’t want equality because they think it means less for them and they don’t want that, like a child who doesn’t want to share their cookies with everyone else.

Anonymous said:

I love TV Tropes, but if there's one problem I have with it, it's how often it associates femininity with weakness. The "Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy" trope is a good example of this, but the worst offender in my opinion is the Girly Girl With a Tomboy Streak, as most of the examples there are simply of girls who are strong-willed or fierce or can fight. Because you know, those traits are male. It's bad because there are ALREADY tropes for girly girls who can fight, Girly Bruiser and Lady of War (which TV Tropes even goes out of its way to SAY shouldn't be counted as a "Tomboy Streak" and yet does stuff like this), but it's also bad because ANY girly girl with these qualities, no matter how feminine they are otherwise, will be seen by TV Tropes as having to be at least somewhat tomboyish(read: masculine) in order to have those traits. Because regular girly girls are just weak and fragile and only want to be housewives.

It's even worse when you realize that much of these characters are created with the exact purpose of subverting the stereotype that girliness equals weak, and instead present a new and more empowering form of femininity: that femininity is strong and DOES NOT equal being a passive sex tool for men's pleasure. They're MEANT to show that being a tomboy is not the only way to be strong, and TV Tropes acknowledges that! But then they also go and claim these characters have "Tomboy Streaks" thus undermining the positive message by insinuating that you have to be tomboyish to be strong and that even girly girls have to have some level of masculinity to be deemed respectable and equal human beings, plus manipulating many impressionable folks into thinking strength and bravery is automatically tomboyish.

Worse yet, they often put a character here because "she's a big eater" or "she burps/farts a lot". Gee, I didn't know women had bodily functions? I didn't know women had digestive systems? So basically any time a girl shows that she is a human being and not a pretty, passive doll to be idealized, she is acting like a man. Because only men are fully-fledged human beings. Even outside of that, look at basically any masculinity-femininity contrast trope(Tomboy and Girly Girl, Sensitive Guy and Manly Man, Masculine Girl Feminine Boy, etc.). The "masculine" character will often be described as dominant, assertive, or outspoken, and the "feminine" character will often be called weak-willed, passive, emotional, and timid. It's fucking sickening.

The Tomboy With A Girly Streak trope is similar to its inverse in that a tomboyish girl will often be placed under this trope with their proclaimed "girly" streak being that she's tender or cries a lot or is soft spoken/a doormat. Because being girly is about not taking up too much space, not having any ambition or aspiration, and overall being a weak and shallow waste of space. For a site that claims to dismantle such sexist misconceptions, it sure does reinforce them just as much.

I almost want to stop using TV Tropes based on that and many other reasons, but it's a genuinely informative site that at least tries to avoid these stereotypes(plus it's edited by more than one person), it just doesn't do enough. For example, they made an awkward claim once that women can't fight while on their periods, and even have an Improbably Female Cast trope, as if it's abnormal that a cast could consist of mostly women and demands an explanation. To them, femininity=inferior.

And then in comes the “anti-girl tomboy” characters who basically do everything “girls don’t do;” glares at things like make-up and such, rolls eyes at the subject of “girl talk” or “romance,” drinks anything carbonated and spreads their legs wide open, etcetera.

Guys really don’t get the same version, at least not that I’m aware of? Like, at best, they don’t participate in “guy things” but that’s about it.

Having characters acknowledge it just makes everything more blatant, like if a woman comes by and the guys have to assure “DON’T WORRY, SHE’S LIKE ONE OF THE GUYS.”

It’s like a woman can only hang out and engage in “guy talk/time” (the concept of which I hate but that’s besides the point) if they can crush a beer can against their forehead.

Anonymous said:

OMG TV Tropes called Cirno the Ice Fairy from Touhou a "tomboy"? Why? Because she's boisterous and outspoken and not a "shy girly-girl" like Daiyousei! TV Tropes clearly believes that any girl or woman who is more than just a pretty face(which ALL women are, by the way), who takes up space, who has a dynamic personality and isn't just a weeping wallflower(which I'm not saying Daiyousei is) is a tomboy. Because she's acting like a man that way. Ugh, so over TV Tropes and their sexism.

And all the girls in Touhou(including Cirno) wear big frilly dresses anyway so it doesn't really make sense to see ANY of them as tomboys. But no, apparently any girl who is rowdy or tough or is active and not passive is a tomboy. You gotta be a tomboy to have attitude. You can tell they think so because they often say things like "strong, but still feminine" as if those things are opposites. They even described femininity as "weak and susceptible, vain and superficial". Like, ugh, kill me now.

I legitimately want to see a bullet point list here of what qualifies as a “tomboy.” Like, what, anyone who does one thing that isn’t “girly”?

Can we just throw out all of these terms; not even replace them, just throw them out?

(the below ask is incomplete - the first part is missing - but the asker clarified after I asked them, so clarification is below:)

Anonymous said:

Tropes is because I'm working on a story and I hope when it becomes famous that TV Tropes will write about it, but as it stands, I'm beginning to wonder that TV Tropes undermines most stories or plots to do with women one way or another. I mean, they constantly create tropes with the intent of calling out inherent biases, yet reinforce those biases themselves.

For example, they have a trope called Men Are Generic, Women Are Special, which points out the bias of male being the default, and yet on almost every other page on the wiki describing a trope, the default character will be a "he"(especially if it's a character trope), and whenever they mention "The Hero" or "The Big Bad" it's always a he unless it needs to be female(like if the heroine is in a romance story, or if the villain is a seductress). Female characters at best, can hope to be "The Heart" or "The Chick" of the group(which is often used in a demeaning way).

They even have a trope called "Improbably Female Cast" in which they point out all the instances of a story's setting having an "over-abundance" of women or girls with no men in sight, and claim that such stories have majority female characters when it is "unusual" "unlikely" or "lacks justification". Someone even suggested that the trope should be called "Where Are All The Men?" as if there's something inherently weird or wrong when a story is dominated by female characters, and like the story is in dire need of men, as if only men can be protagonists.

Even if the story has a justifiable reason for having mostly women, the fact that the writer made that choice at all is somehow deserving of mention. The mere fact that there's no "Improbably Male Cast" trope shows where the site's biases lay. They don't see anything wrong with a show being dominated by men with little to no female representation(ex. Death Note), and yet a show dominated by women(ex. MLPFIM) is somehow an anomaly and demands an explanation(even if the story does provide a reason for it, TV Tropes will still list it and presume it "improbable", as if to say "I mean, yeah, but there's no reason why you couldn't just make them mEn instead", as if writers who have mostly female characters are going out of their way to steer away from the "default" males.

In fact, they even admit that "Men Are Generic, Women Are Special" is their reason for having such a trope, but not the inverse. They even say that it's not the trope if the show revolves around a group of girlfriends with no indication of the gender ratio in the wider setting. So any time the females outnumber the males a story it's instantly labeled "improbable" because there's NO WAY any setting AT ALL could have more females than males. That's improbable! You see, this is why when women are 1/3 of the people in a given space men perceive it as "majority female" because they're uncomfortable with women having more of a presence than men.

We'll never have true equality if shows with majority female casts continue to be scrutinized under a microscope and assumed to be of inferior, lesser quality, just because there's no male characters around and it's women who are driving the plot. My problem isn't that they have a trope for majority female casts, it COULD be a testament to gender equality(ie., "there used to not be a lot of shows revolving around women, but now they're becoming increasingly common and well-known), but it's that they single out such stories as "unlikely" and thus discredit them.

And worse yet, they refuse to change the name, because they don't see a problem with it. So now every single show that doesn't have an equal number of males and females or more males than females is going to be called "improbable" by TV Tropes, because there's something(bad) to be said about shows that choose to make most of their characters women. Death Note and Naruto can slide by the radar of having loads of men, but Madoka Magica and Touhou are "improbable"? Because they have loads of women?

the clarification:

Anonymous said:

I started out complaining about how TV Tropes says that boys will watch Star Vs. The Forces of Evil only because of Marco(who's great, but it comes off like boys can only relate to boy characters) and that the show only looks girly but has a deep complex plot with scary moments(as if a show can't be dark and complex and still be girly; girly=shallow, watered down fluff), hence my complaint about TV Tropes undermining girly shows or anything "girly".

Yup, exactly like I said.

Good stuff in “girly” things is the exception. Good stuff in “manly” things is expected.

Which is funny when you consider stuff like “edgy” reboots of things. Like, Disney remakes their original movies and that usually means making them worse (like in Beauty and the Beast - god I hate that remake - where the objects are going to become complete objects when the last petal falls even though the enchantress is explicitly a good person and it comes off as super cruel and unnecessary), but that seems to just be its own breed of bad I guess.

Then there are terms like “chick flicks” and “soap operas” which are usually women-oriented and tend to be considered dumb/over-dramatic.

You know, not like MEN shows with their sexualization of women, guns and MEN things.

Anonymous said:

Remember what I said about TV Tropes being sexist? Well, they also have a trope called "Girly Run". Like, that's literally the name. Girly. Run. Thankfully the first example(which is under advertising due to the forms of media being in alphabetical order) is an aversion from the blessed Like A Girl campaign, but...just reading the page lets the casual-yet-bold-faced sexism speak for itself.

why can’t things just be like the Sims where characters can wear whatever the hell they want and have any personality without any judgment or criticism from other Sims?

(more Madoka Magica talk - and ONLY Madoka Magica talk - below because I’ve unleashed a monster apparently:)

Anonymous said:

I know you don't like Frozen but I saw a theory somewhere that Elsa's powers came from making a contract with Kyubey and her wish was to impress her sister and anyway I can't stop rolling my eyes. This isn't(just) because of my distaste for Madoka Magica compared to my love for Frozen, but if Elsa's a Puella Magi then why didn't she become a witch long ago? How did she make it to adulthood? How did she become emotionally stable? And why do her powers have to come from a negative source?

I think it might just be people looking for excuses to do their crossover fanfiction which--yeah, I’m not crazy about that.

Anonymous said:

Did you know that Cristina Vee voiced Homura Akemi in the English Dub? It's very noticeable, especially during the Cake Song, where I could've sworn she sounds exactly like Marinette. By the way, I'm still not sure what the hell was going on in that song. Could you please explain it to me(if you know)?

Nooooo don’t make me think of Homura when I think of Marinette!! fjkdgjnfdg

lol but seriously, I think the Cake Song is just meant to be one of those “weird but meant to be dEeP” things that shows do sometimes to be cool (not a criticism technically; depends on how it’s used).

I think the cake is the labyrinth and Homura saying that she’s the pumpkin makes her the odd one out since pumpkins are associated with scares and halloween, so it’s “foreshadowing” her being the witch. The things that they say they are... they’re like--ingredients for a meal, but not a cake, so the the cake is the labyrinth and they’re the things that would go inside it.

Homura and Madoka are the only ones who really get descriptions to go with them. Homura says that she’s “full of seeds” (despair?) and Madoka implies that it’ll bring sweet dreams once she’s sliced (which is either referring to the godly freedom given to magical girls before they turn into witches, or foreshadowing Madoka being “split” after Homura stops Madoka from purifying her, leading to Homura’s “sweet dream” of what it’s like when everything is “normal” after her reality twisting).

Anonymous said:

May I ask what you don't like about Kyoko's character? Is it because she was the stereotypical "jerk with a heart of gold"? Or because the writer made her flip from hating Sayaka and wanting her dead to suddenly dying for Sayaka even though she barely knows her compared to Madoka(because the writer doesn't understand how girls' relationships work)? For me it was a mixture of both(though I still don't mind KyoSaya!), but I still liked her enough, she just felt a tad stereotypical. Your thoughts?

It’s both. I just don’t like characters like her at all and the runtime of Madoka Magica can’t maintain all of these characters, “developing” them, and then killing them off. I don’t even have any time to get attached to them because they’re dead within a matter of a few episodes.

And it’s always like, “okay here’s this character’s backstory to make you feel emotionally attached--HA NOW THEY’RE DEAD. SEE??? WE TOTALLY GOT YOU.”

Like, no, you didn’t. I didn’t even have time to care about THEM, much less their actual death.

Anonymous said:

What about the girls in Madoka Magica? Do you think they're strong female characters? Now, obviously the show is not feminist, since it misses the whole point of Magical Girl, which is to empower girls and show them that girls can be powerful and feminine and can find strength in solidarity with each other by instead making them suffer and fight each other and have their power come from their emotions, which are exploited and turned against them because women can't be powerful, but still...

It’s the same way I feel about Marinette; there are some who I want to say are strong characters, but the writing is ready to just kill them off at any time and bully them for essentially having emotions.

Basically, imagine a male writer hands you a character sheet and is like, “AW YEAH CHECK OUT THIS sTrOng FEMALE CHARACTER I WROTE.”

Like, even if they were right, their ego and obnoxiousness about the whole thing, along with what they actually do to said character, makes you not want to give them any credit for it.

Anonymous said:

How do you think Puella Magi Madoka Magica would be different if they had magical boys as well(which can mean either gender-bending canon magical girls or introducing original magical boys)? Do you think the show would be better? Worse? Or would it be just about the same?

Personally I feel like having magical boys would be good and bad; good because there would be no more of the “teenage girls are hysterical” crap and it wouldn’t just be girls suffering because they can’t handle power, and bad because it would still be problematic(for stereotyping all teens as over emotional and deserving to be taken advantage of by the Incubators, and it would still be about kids suffering in a genre meant to empower girls, having some of them be boys wouldn’t help that much).

I also feel like Gen Urobuchi would still make the girls suffer more and have them be more emotionally and mentally unstable. Holy crap it feels like he read up on Aristotle’s views on women while making this show.

It would at least be more balanced I guess? Like, teenage years are a fragile time, so it would make sense for both girls and boys to be taken advantage of. I still wouldn’t like it but it would be nice to point out, “there are emotional boys as well as emotional girls.”

Anonymous said:

Literally all the problems with Treatment of Marinette, Chat's Entitlement(TM), and the sheer sexism in general(ex. all the teenage girls and even women villains being catty and bitchy, while the male villains are cool, suave, and calculating; female villains being irredeemable scum while male villains are "not as bad as they seem", etc.) could all be solved if the show just got some more female writers! You know a show isn't feminist like people claim if none of the writers are women.

That's what I love about Friendship is Magic; the show is written and directed by a woman and actually has a variety of both male and female writers! Plus, Lauren Faust explicitly identifies as a feminist and claims her works are meant to empower women and show them that there's no wrong way to be a girl. And the show reflects that! There's no "token girl" who checks all the boxes; the females have realistic flaws, diverse personalities, and let's not forget ARE THE HEROES!!! Not to mention that the cast is actually PREDOMINANTLY FEMALE. Do people have any idea how refreshing that is?!

And that's why whenever people claim that shows like Madoka Magica are feminist when it's written by men for men while also dismissing actually feminist shows written by women for women as "sexist" or "demeaning", I cringe inside. It's not just what the show looks like, it's what the people behind it say.

And Gen Urobuchi is not a feminist. At all. Just listen to the things he says about the girls, that they're terrorists who are full of hubris and destined to be alone, and that actual magical girl shows weren't his inspiration beyond the show's cosmetics, he just based it off of porn games. He only watched those shows after making Madoka Magica and admitted they were weird to him. Well, maybe they wouldn't be weird if you actually used them as inspiration! Why are you even making magical girl? So basically he admitted that all the suffering the girls go through is because it's his fetish.

I knew I wasn't imagining things when I saw all those weird shots and angles(ex. zooming in on Sayaka's thighs and breasts when she collapses to the floor, Madoka gripping the bed sheets between her legs when agitated, zooming in on Kyoko's ass when she takes her phone out of her shorts' back pocket, it's all for cheap titillation). And yet people keep saying the show is devoid of male gaze and sexism and why? Because apparently men know how to represent women better than women themselves.

you said “Madoka gripping the bed sheets between her thighs” and it gave me an immediate flashback, I hate it

I find that it’s a similar thing with gay anime/manga; I’m more likely to trust a F/F story if it’s written by a woman since they’re less likely to sexualize everything.

Anonymous said:

Homura in Puella Magi Madoka Magica: But Madoka, what's going to happen to you? You'll end up all alone here forever! You'll never be able to see your friends and family! Homura in Rebellion: Haha, screw Madoka's friends and family! Only I am worthy of Madoka's love! That girl belongs to me! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!(I'm sorry for the over exaggeration, but this is how it felt for me.)

Apparently, it was better for Madoka to just have all of her memories and powers yoinked away.

Sayaka is Madoka’s right hand girl so idk why Homura has this idea that she needs to sAvE Madoka. The fact that this whole thing comes out of a misunderstanding (because Madoka doesn’t have her memories) is so irritating.

Anonymous said:

I actually love Madoka Magica, but I completely agree with you on the hysterical women thing. Why couldn’t they just have... both magical girls and magical boys? Like, just mention that magical boys are a thing? They don’t even have to change anything but that, they don’t even really have to show it, just be like “yeah there’s magical boys too but that’s not really what this story is about, it’s about our characters we have here”. I don’t know, feels like that would have at least helped stuff.

Yeah, they don’t have to bother having the magical boys around. Just to know they exist would be enough. I mean, the fact that the focus is on them would still be bothersome (they’d probably do a thing where each girl represents a different emotion that is easily manipulated/easy to control), but it’d be something.

Anonymous said:

One thing that weirds me out when people are talking about Madoka Magica is when people refer to the characters as "little girls". Like, excuse me? They are not "little girls". They are teenagers! All of them are at least 14 years old! I hate when people call them "little", it's just so condescending and infantilizing, especially when the show does enough of that to them already. After all, no one makes that mistake with the heroines of Lucky Star and Hidamari Sketch(who are also drawn by Aoki)!

I feel like it’s the equivalent of when people call women “girls,” y’know? Sort of a “treating females as younger than they really are,” which is probably what gives guys the feeling that they have control.

For a gender that claims to be so dominant, certain ones sure have to delude themselves a lot to make themselves feel better.

Anonymous said:

I was thinking about what you said about Puella Magi Madoka Magica passing the Bechdel Test, and if it counts if there's barely any men to talk about. And while I do agree that it counts, I also feel that it doesn't really matter much in shows such as Madoka. This isn't even about feminism, this is about the fact that if a show has next to no men in it at all then it's pretty much a given that they won't talk about them since it would be impractical to talk about something that doesn't exist.

So because of that, I think there should either be an alternative test which only applies to shows that have a significant or equal number of male characters and yet the ladies still pass the test(making it feel more "real" since the option to talk about men is there), or the test should be rewritten entirely so that it only applies to shows in which the cast is either equally gender-split, or has a majority male cast/significant amount of males even if the females still outnumber them.

Reminds me of how, on TV Tropes, someone suggested that there should be a "Weak" and "Strong" Bechdel Test, where "Weak" refers to the women talking about something other than men because it is literally what's relevant at the moment(such as two female police officers discussing how to catch a female killer), thus applying the Bechdel Test there seems semi-void, while "Strong" is when they could talk about men but choose not to(ie. two female students talking about their grades during lunch).

And just to clarify about the "Strong" one, when I say they could talk about men but choose not to, this isn't to imply that female characters should talk about men, or that something's wrong with them for not talking about men, just that there's nothing stopping them from doing so, but they choose to talk about something unrelated to men. I think this strategy is much better than the test we have because it makes conversations between female characters seem more real since they're discussing things other than men of their own volition, rather than the non-male-centered talk being because they have to talk about it in-universe. I say that because The Bechdel Test serves to show that women's lives don't and shouldn't revolve around men, and they can talk about other things if they want to, but if the conversation is because they have to(like the example I gave), that gives sexists the opportunity to go "Yeah, well, they're only talking about it because it's their job!"

But if the female characters talk about things other than men of their own free will(as in, when the option is still there), then it shows that women really do have their own free will to talk about their own things and that there is NO REASON to not pass the Bechdel Test in today's day and age(I keep hearing people claim the test is stupid and doesn't matter, but then it should be easy to pass). "Oh, but if they had the choice, they would talk about men." No, because men don't sit around and talk about the women in their lives all day so why should women talk about the men in their lives all day? And to the people saying these types of tests are getting in the way of their "creativity", well, now that we know that you think female representation is stupid and something you have to be forced to do, we don't have to listen to a word you say. ;)

I like the idea of adjusting the Bechdel Test for other circumstances and expanding it as such!

You could also extend it to things like sexualization, because--I mean, having two female characters who talk to each other probably doesn’t mean much if they’re half-dressed or the writer wanted to make them bisexual for “The Fanservice.”

Anonymous said:

To be honest deconstructions of Magical Girl confuse me. There are some good ones out there(such as Princess Tutu and Revolutionary Girl Utena, so I know they're not all just torture porn, my only gripe with Utena is the implication that girls who take on the feminine "Princess" role are weak), but at its heart Magical Girl has always dealt with death, gore and pain just as much as female empowerment.

It makes me feel like the people who write these stories haven't seen magical girl and think it's all just sunshine and rainbows and that just because it's "girly" it's vapid and has no substance, and since the only way to have substance apparently is to be "dark", they go "screw it with all this princessy magical shit! Let's make our show dark instead!" When in reality if they had just sat down and watched a magical girl anime, they would understand that this is not the case.

Not to mention that many of them tend to have fanservice and the idea that magical girls have to suffer, so instead of empowering young girls, they end up misrepresenting the genre and turning it into fetish fuel torture porn for adult men(Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna are very good examples of this; the writer of Madoka says that the girls are terrorists and full of hubris and that he was inspired by porn games). It's not that you can't deconstruct the genre at all, but it's almost never done tastefully and the magical girl themes are just a cover used to explain the suffering the girls go through. :(

Another thing about magical girl deconstructions is that they often reinforce patriarchal themes, like that girls shouldn't want things for themselves and that genuinely doing something for someone while also having ulterior motives that help yourself are a BAD BAD BAD thing, no matter how ultimately harmless they are, even if they help everybody involved. They also tend to reinforce Tall Poppy Syndrome and portray the powers as harmful or a bad thing, implying that girls shouldn't have power.

Honestly, I think there can totally be even more substance in magical girl anime that doesn’t have to resort to “make it eDgY” (which I feel like is a slippery slope that can easily come off as lazy); for example, I’d really enjoy seeing something deeper to magical girl powers than something like, “oh, this magical girl happens to have the power that fits their personality,” such as a magical girl who has a power she feels she doesn’t fit but it’s a matter of perspective/seeing herself differently, or a magical girl who does have the powers that “fit” her personality - like a “fiery” girl with fire powers - and the weaknesses in her powers correlate to the weaknesses in her personality, so she has to either iron out those issues or find workarounds, as true “perfection” isn’t possible nor practical, which is something all the girls have to accept despite whatever pressure they’re under.

.I dunno, I like lore and powers revolving around metaphors. It’s fun.

Anonymous said:

About what you said in regards to "no pueri magi because it doesn't hit the shock value threshold enough", I remember this interesting comment I saw on an article called "The Problem With The Dark Magical Girl Genre"(which I would totally recommend checking out, by the way!) which said that shojo magical girl and seinen magical girl both embrace a different philosophy regarding strong female fighters. In shojo, they tend to embrace femininity as a strength and show girls that they have the power to do whatever they want and undergo dangerous professions. But in seinen, which conveniently enough is more likely to "deconstruct" the genre(ugh), rather than admiring the girls and supporting them in their endeavors, the girls are meant to be pitied(often to the point of infantilization) when bad things happen to them, with the fact that they are girls serving to make everything worse. It operates under the idea that girls are fragile, in need of protection, and shouldn't be fighting at all.

That's why deconstructions like Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna don't sit right with me, and also why I don't consider them feminist series. People can say whatever they want about Sailor Moon and Pretty Cure, but ultimately they also had dark and dangerous themes(to the point where some kids had nightmares), but ultimately allowed the girls to rise above the hell they went through and find the strength in them to save the day. We feel bad for them when they die, not because they're moe girls, but because we were actually given the time to form a connection with them and want to see them succeed, rather than just be expected to pity them because they're cute manipulated girls. That way, when they ultimately save the day, it's all the more satisfying. Princess Tutu was a deconstruction that actually went about it in the right way, because the girls eventually found the courage to defeat their enemies in a way that made sense. Why the hell is it a "good" thing to subvert that?

No clue, but I basically agree with everything there. I mean, Madoka Magica’s entire stick is basically that all the girls are like “uwu” in terms of the style (with Madoka being the “cutest” of them all) and then being put in this dark and edgy plot+setting; it’s for both the shock value and the “contrast” of having “moe” characters be thrust into these situations to essentially die.

And the conclusion doesn’t end up being satisfying (at least to me) because the villain doesn’t have emotions so he’s just like “owo” (seriously, I wouldn’t hate on Rebellion so much if Kyubey had been given emotions rather than going crazy; Homura can basically do whatever she wants and it was SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITY) so it ends up being more about the journey getting there like wow look at all the sUbvErSiOnS and dEaTh we had along the way!

Because at the end of the day, it’s still like, “the girls give into their ‘hysterical emotions’ in the end basically no matter what,” even if they get saved by Madoka in the end.

Anonymous said:

Do you remember, in Madoka Magica, when Kyubey said that humans would still be living in caves if not for the Incubators? First of all, keep in mind what Incubators do. Their entire purpose on this earth is to feed off the emotions of young teenage girls as they spiral into despair as a result of their delusions of power. Like wow, let that sink in. Apparently humanity's advancement relies on the exploitation of women. We are literally the punching bags of the universe. Isn't it lovely?

No! You see--we’re so important to the world! If we weren’t emotionally exploited, the world wouldn’t be the way it is now! :D

(kill me)

Anonymous said:

I once saw a tag on tumblr that read "The only good magical girl anime is Madoka Magica because it's gay, and even it has problems." Like, ugh. Really? Has this person not watched ANY other magical girl anime? Such ignorance. So many things wrong with that statement that I can't--and WON'T--even begin to unravel here.

MADOKA MAGICA IS NOT GAY AND I’M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE CLAIMING IT IS

s T O P

I DON’T EVEN CONSIDER YURI ON ICE TO BE GAY. MADOKA MAGICA? NAH MAN.

Anonymous said:

Do the girls in Madoka Magica even have transformation phrases? You know, like how Marinette says "Tikki, spots on!" or how Sailor Moon says "Moon Prism Power! Make-up!" or how Iris in LoliRock says "Iris! Princess of Ephedia!" etc. But in Madoka Magica, there doesn't seem to be any of that. At least in Yuki Yuna they pressed a button on their phones. But how do the Puellae Magi even transform? Just goes to show you how Gen Urobuchi knows next to nothing about the genre he claims to deconstruct.

Transformation phrases are magical and cool and you can’t take that away from me.

Anonymous said:

I had a shower thought about Madoka randomly in bed last night: If a Magical Girl's Soul Gem loses control over its user when 100 metres or further away from it, that meant that when Homura got Sayaka's Soul Gem back for her, Sayaka should've regained consciousness once Homura was less than 100 metres away, even if she didn't have her Soul Gem yet. I also love to ponder why on Earth Homura would even bother retrieving Sayaka's Soul Gem if she only cares about Madoka and Madoka's well-being.

I think it’s just a complicated process of Homura trying to make sure Madoka doesn’t fall into despair herself (in a non-witch way) and is convinced to make a wish.

Anonymous said:

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Sayaka really got the worst deal out of the whole thing. While her story may seem more "mundane" compared to the others(she just wanted the token Ill Boy osananajimi to like her back), she's the only one who somehow isn't brought back when Madoka recreates the universe, loses her Soul Gem on more than one account(and on the second, she starts decomposing and her crush sees her and calls her a monster because he thinks she's pretending to be the REAL Sayaka), is supposedly the weakest Magical Girl, getting swiftly taken out by both Kyoko AND Homura(the latter of which doesn't even make sense, if her body can heal why was she taken out so quickly?), takes a long while to show up in Magia Record, and Gen somehow finds it suiting to single her out as the one who is "destined to die" every time she makes a contract. Apparently the series director wanted Sayaka to live/be brought back, but Gen refused because it just had to be edgy.

Of course, MEN are allowed to have wish fulfillment power fantasies and dream like the sky's no limit and aspire to be all they want to be, but the second WOMEN try to be the strong ones, the powerful ones, or dream of something for themselves and others, they have to learn a lesson about how unrealistic their fantasies are and how they'll never live out their dreams. Hence why Sayaka puts the blame all on herself, saying that she's not a hero and was stupid and selfish the whole time.

"token Ill Boy osananajimi“ dfhbgjhfdgdfg

It was a real shame because I liked Sayaka somewhat (not saying much but still) and she was such a predictable one to go. Like, “oh wow, an angst-y anime all about shock value? so basically the best friend is dead then with no chance of survival.”

I think I do remember being told/reading somewhere (so don’t quote me) that Sayaka is the one that’s hardest to keep alive in the games, so you have to work hard for it. It just sucks.

Anonymous said:

Yet another thing that bothers me about Puella Magi is how the show frames the young ladies as if everything is their fault even though they have no idea what they're getting into because the person who makes the deal doesn't even bother explaining shit to them and all the show's attempts at deconstructing is just taking lighthearted elements meant to empower girls and show them that they can be brave and strong as well as feminine and make them dark and morbid.

Like, I get the whole "having young girls fight is a little unrealistic" aspect, but most magical girl shows actually do touch on that! Only difference is that over time, they become stronger and better at fighting(which is only to be expected, whether you're a teenage girl or not) and become more competent along the way because the whole genre is about FEMALE EMPOWERMENT.

Not to mention how the show seems to forget that the Incubators are villains and even seems to put them in the right and the girls in the wrong, what with the claim that they rationalize with the girls they make contracts with like sentient human beings(yeah, because emotionally manipulating young girls and literally taking their souls out of their bodies and making them liches without their consent is definitely treating them like sentient human beings), and that they always follow up on their end of the deal whereas it's the girls' faults their wishes go sour because they never wish for what they truly want(I'm sorry, but I simply DO NOT buy that. Homura and Mami outright wished for what they wanted. Their wishes went sour because the plot "decided" that they should have wished in a different way; plus, you're telling me that if Sayaka had outright said she wished "for Kyousuke to love her back" that the show wouldn't just "make" him mind-controlled or have Sayaka "outgrow" her feelings by the time he falls in love with her, all the while making it out to be "her" fault he's so heartbroken because she was some kind of tease or whatever, further demonizing girls' sexualities?).

Plus they explicitly claim that every woman in history was a magical girl and that without them, humanity would still be in caves(as in, humanity wouldn't be able to progress without the oppression and exploitation of women, and women can't gain power without going insane because female power is some unhealthy, inhuman, infernal thing.). Even if we take this all as a reflection of patriarchal society(which I highly doubt it was, if anything, it reinforces it), all it does is imply that the oppression of women is the natural order of things, required even.

As for the girls themselves, they routinely beat themselves up and the show makes no effort to tell them they're wrong(up until the massive cop-out of an ending), like how Sayaka's last words before becoming a witch are literally her "admitting" that she was "stupid, so stupid" for wanting a boy to love her and be healed of his infirmity. It just seems like we're supposed to think "you know, maybe the Incubators aren't that bad!" while ignoring that the girls are being treated like the disposable trash bags of the universe. This show already does the magical girl genre dirty but treating it like everything the Incubators did was necessary and like it's all the girls' faults these things happened to them in the first place is the icing on the stale, sour cake. Nothing like a giant heap of sexism to help get you through your day. :/

I’ve noticed this a lot in Miraculous, but Madoka Magica somehow does it worse; this “one (supposed) mistake leads to all of these consequences you never saw coming.”

Like Ladybug calling Lila out. We know that Lila’s pettiness in “Chameleon” shows that it wouldn’t matter whether Ladybug yelled at her or not; the simple fact that Marinette opposes a liar led to Marinette getting expelled, even if only for a while. Then there’s “Miracle Queen” and all that garbage that came with it.

These two shows put their teenage girls through hell for having emotions and there’s no way to undo it.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the Madoka Magica fandom is basically the magical girl equivalent of "not like other girls" type women. I can't say I'd be surprised if they didn't watch a single magical girl show other than Madoka because they're all "stupid and girly but this one is edgy and dark" just because those shows are written by women to inspire other girls and show femininity as a strength while Madoka Magica is written by men for men who want to see young girls suffer without any actual feminism.

Like, let's go through their arguments one-by-one to prove that they don't hold up. They love to say that Madoka Magica is better than other Magical Girl shows because "it's dark and edgy and shows the downsides to being a Magical Girl unlike other shows where it's all sunshine and lollipops". First of all, other Magical girl shows also got very dark. Princess Tutu and Utena are also "darker" takes on the genre, but even more lighthearted shows like Sailor Moon and Precure had scary moments.

The only difference is, with them, they still managed to critique problematic aspects of the genre and actually provided ways to improve it, while STILL managing to keep their target audience(FEMALES) in mind, without condescending to them and infantilizing them. And they still showed the girls being empowered and overcoming the darkness.

In Madoka, there's none of that, there's no actual critique of the genre because Gen didn't have the respect for it to do his research, it's aimed at men so it doesn't keep female viewers in mind by definition(which is also another reason why it can't be a deconstruction; deconstructions should be done FOR its target audience), and the girls are constantly put down and treated like Moe crybabies by the narrative even when they're not(cause, you know, teenage girls are "emotional"!). And it doesn't offer ways the genre could improve, it just takes a female-empowering genre and twists it to be this system of oppression that the genre is meant to avoid.

Magical Girls tend to have a very strong focus on girls empowering girls and all that awesome stuff, and yet when Madoka and Mami form a special bond and Madoka encourages Mami by telling her she's not alone? It makes her big-headed and overconfident and she gets devoured by Charlotte. See what happens when girls rely on each other? Madoka is Sayaka's best friend, but gets pushed aside in favor of Kyoko, who later dies for Sayaka because girls who want to help each other had better be prepared to suffer and die for their beliefs. Sayaka loses everything, which happens to include her best friend, over a guy. And the whole witch process means that any female solidarity that could be found in the show is thrown out the window since the core concept of the show is girls being forced to brutalize and kill and exploit each other.

People act like Madoka is Yuri when it's not, Gen was asked if Homura really was in love with Madoka and if Kyoko really was in love with Sayaka, and what did he do? He beat around the bush. Naoko Takeuchi and Kunihiko Ikuhara(the latter of whom also worked on Sailor Moon R; woah, what a surprise) both admitted that there was gay love in their stories, yet people act like Madoka is super progressive regarding homosexuality when it's just implied and those shows were MUCH more open! Doesn't stop people from claiming the show is "honorary yuri" and saying that the meaning of "yuri" should be broadened to include any close bonds between two female characters, whether or not it's actually romantic, AND favoring the show(and HomuMado) above actual yuri shows that are made to appeal to women. If all this were actually valid, Sailor Moon would be yuri as hell.

I hate seeing people fap over this show and act like it's so revolutionary for recycling things that the genre was ALREADY DOING, because I know full well that the ONLY reason it gets this wide acclaim is because Magical Girl shows have traditionally been written for women and this show is aimed at men. That's literally it. Because nothing a woman writes is good enough, especially when it dares to go against patriarchal constructs of femininity as weak and docile by portraying it as cool and awesome. It doesn't matter how cool and dark and diverse and inclusive and complex Sailor Moon and Precure and Princess Tutu and Utena are, they're written by/for women with the intention of empowering them so they're automatically invalid, cheap, happy-go-lucky crap where nothing bad ever happens and anything those shows try to do ought to be discredited because they don't appeal to men like they should so what's the point?

But the second a MAN comes in and intrudes on a female-dominated space by doing all of those things but with a very shallow understanding of how they ought to be executed, people are all over it because a MAN did it and now it's interesting and respectable! I have seen so many people say that they don't like Magical Girl because it's girly and shallow and stupid, but then they praise Madoka for things that the girly and "shallow" shows have already done! Men are always taking away things meant for women and distorting it to fit their patriarchal views and yet when they do it it's somehow better and anyone who complains is simply a whiny straw feminist!

The fandom does it all the time, someone complains about the show and why they don't like it and find it sexist, and the response is always "you're just not smart enough to understand it; you have no idea what you just watched". Because obviously since it's made by a man it's sooo much smarter then the traditional sappy stuff made by women. That's why it's so annoying when others praise it at the expense of other works in the genre: they know their reasons for liking it are, more often than not, rooted in sexism against female-aimed and female-empowering works, so the only way they can praise it is at the expense of said works, hence them being just like girls who claim they're "not like other girls" when there's nothing wrong with girls being feminine and in fact many of those girls may like the same things you do!

So while I'm not saying there's anything inherently WRONG with liking Madoka, I DO have a problem with people who act like it's better or more serious than other shows in the genre and simply discard them on the grounds that they're "for girls", since they obviously didn't watch them.

me when I initially watched Madoka Magica: I don’t get why this exists.

me when I learned it was written by a man: ohhh, now I get it.

I also take issue with people comparing things that are made for different demographics. Like look, I don’t care if you enjoy your angst display over here, but also maybe don’t compare it to the stuff not even made for you unless you’re willing to get into a fight over it?

It comes off wrong, like they have to trash on stuff because it wasn’t made for them, y’know?

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I am so sick of people saying that Magical Girl shows are sexist or anti-feminist, when all they do is portray girls being awesome and powerful while also being feminine at the same time, because "Well in Japan it's actually gender conformity because it's telling girls they can only be strong if they're feminine! You're just projecting your Western values onto an Eastern work!".

First of all these shows are made by women for women and often have explicit feminine messages that you literally cannot miss unless you are simply blind or trying not to see them. And they also tend to have a very strong focus on women supporting or empowering other women. Just think of Sailor Moon, which constantly gets this "criticism", and yet there's an episode where the girls explicitly protest against a villain who claims women are all shallow and useless and can't do anything without men's help. Would Naoko Takeuchi put that in the show if she weren't a feminist?

And then there's the fact that she has said that one message she wanted the female leads to convey was to value their relationships between other girls because girls are strong and don't need to waste time depending on men. There's also the fact that most Magical Girl shows tend to treat the powers as something special and awesome that's unique to women and girls, paired with the coming-of-age themes present in the show, and you get a magical equivalent of female puberty, with magic mixed in.

But no, all of that gets thrown out the window because they dare to be "feminine" while doing all of that stuff and the Japanese are forcing their girls to be girly through Magical Girl propaganda. And I just HATE when people act like anything feminine must be societally forced onto girls, rather than girls just happening to like them. In addition, stating that they are simply reinforcing gender roles by being feminine is such bullshit because the whole purpose isn't about conforming to patriarchal femininity, it's about reclaiming femininity.

Too often, femininity is associated with being weak, powerless, helpless, submissive, docile, vapid, catty, bitchy, petty, vain, stupid, the list goes on. Magical Girl saves femininity from a bad reputation. It shows femininity in a new light, as something strong and powerful and, hell, even admirable! It's about telling girls "Hey, you can be strong and powerful and smart, but you don't have to be a tomboy or act like a man to do so". Girls are always told they have to act masculine to be taken seriously because the only way to be respected is to be like a man, which is an indirect way of saying that only men deserve respect.

Magical Girl does away with all that in favor of showing the feminine as something innately powerful, and yet naysayers MISS the point and say that it's just stereotyping girls instead. To see people claim that Magical Girl forces girls to fit a feminine ideal to be respected is just disappointing. It's supposed to be a female power fantasy for young girls that shows them as the ones being powerful and empowering each other.

Take how in Sailor Moon the heroine often says something along the lines of "I won't let you take advantage of girls", which Wedding Peach went on to imitate. The purpose of the genre is for girls. To empower girls. So why on earth would they show them fitting into a "male" mould of power? Do these people think that any time women are shown acting distinct from men that they are doing something wrong?

And the hypocritical part is that nobody pisses on male-oriented anime for reinforcing a harmful narrative to boys that they have to be masculine to be valued and respected. Of course they don't! Because being "masculine" is never seen as a bad thing to be. It's assumed that masculinity is always strong and good and awesome and there's nothing wrong with boys being forced to be masculine because you're supposed to want to be masculine. You're not supposed to want to be feminine.

So of course people will shit all over Magical Girl for embracing, empowering, and reclaiming femininity, because it's not supposed to be that way! You're not supposed to be feminine and also be strong. You're supposed to deny your identity as a woman and assimilate into the boys' club because only boy things are worthwhile! And they cover it up by saying that Magical Girl forces girls to be feminine, when in actuality the WORLD forces girls to be MASCULINE. Magical Girl doesn't force girls to be feminine, It ALLOWS them to. Do you see the difference there?

Another thing I'd like to bring to the table is that the claim is racist and here's why: The claim that "Magical Girl shows are seen as feminist in the US for portraying femininity as a source of strength but not in Japan because it's telling girls they have to be feminine"...what does that mean? Japanese people can't be feminist? All Japanese people are sexists and think girls have to fit in a certain role? Do Japanese feminists HAVE to be anti-femininity? Are there literally no Japanese people who think you can be feminine AND strong(who also obviously identify as feminists?) Because it seems hella sexist to insinuate that Magical Girl shows are sexist because they're made in Japan and they don't believe you can be feminine AND strong there.

While there is some credibility to it since Japan IS, by and large, much more strict with gender roles, hasn't it ever occurred to these people that these types of shows exist to counter that belief? Not only that, but it implies that people aren't allowed to have opinions on works that aren't made in their culture, and that anyone who sees those shows as feminist are just projecting their Western beliefs onto an Eastern work. And even worse, when people say that, they don't have the same opinion of Western Magical Girl works.

Just look at LoliRock, Miraculous Ladybug, Winx, W.I.T.C.H., Star vs the Forces of Evil, and countless other European/Western Magical Girl works. Where are the people saying "They get their power from femininity and that is sexist!"? Nowhere! They're silent! Even though those are very much like Magical Girl works from Japan(although I don't think the genre originated from there), while still being original.

It's because people think that any media exported from Japan is automatically sexist and demeaning and so anything they create, no matter how empowering their intentions, gets twisted into something that's somehow toxic or unsafe for girls to watch. But when Europeans do the exact same thing nobody complains. Because Japan is not allowed to do anything empowering whatsoever; something's always wrong with it, apparently.

So that's why I have a problem with people who say those things; it's so problematic because they think they're being all open-minded and aware/respectful of other people's cultures, but all they're doing is reinforcing negative stereotypes further. It's kinda like what I said earlier(in another ask) about how people love to praise Madoka Magica for being a unique, dark, and interesting take on the genre when all it did was rehash elements of the genre that already existed, strip away the female empowerment, and gear it towards grown men, which is why people like it more. How about instead of speaking for Japanese people you let them speak for themselves?!

I would also like to add that there’s even a limit to women acting masculine because that’s still “not enough” for those kinda of men who would promote those beliefs. Women need to act more masculine to “be taken seriously” but then you have men who’ll tell them to “dress less” or whatever.

I think what it comes down to is that they want women to not be “emotionally taxing” with all those dAmN eMoTioNs of theirs (unless it’s for the sake of their angsty magical girl anime where the girls suffer for having emotions), but they also need to look pretty and be sexualized.

We can’t win.

[thewolfswriting]

Tear You Apart Chapter 2

A/N: Just a little note on the colors. Alpha's eyes are golden yellow, Beta's eyes are bright blue, and Omega's eyes are silver white. From this part on Billy's demon/Alpha eyes now look like this. Also, brace yourselves for the next part.

Pairing: Billy x Reader

Word Count: 1,378

Warnings: Profanity, Sexual Thoughts

Tag List: @1998--js @amarachoren @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1 @billysgodcomplex @biliyonce @billy-spit @charmed-asylum @crazygirl3001 @cynthianokamaria @dreamwavej @hplotrfan @jojo-buttercup @kisseskitty @obsessive-aspie-girl @okaybutsteveharrington @mamasavespunk @nintendhoes-3ds @rosealicous @savagesuccubus @slither-in-a-half @thatpunkmaximoff @vickilove23 @xxemoluverxx @deepmuffinspymaker

---

That morning you awoke in your bed covered in a sheet of sweat and a scent that filled your bedroom. You didn't think anything of it until you sat up and felt this liquid between your legs. That's when you sniffed the air again and realized the scent is coming from you. Oh no, please no.

You looked at your reflection in the vanity mirror on your dresser to see your eyes a silver white color. This couldn't be happening, you're supposed to be a Beta or Alpha. What would your parents think? Speaking of your parents, you could hear them downstairs...talking

"I can smell her scent from her room. She's supposed to be a Beta or Alpha. The Omega blood comes from your side of the family."

"She's still our daughter. It doesn't matter what she is, but I called the doctor to confirm." That's when it dawned on you, your grandmother on your mother's side was an Omega.

Your mother didn't sound so disappointed, almost like she knew. But your father...he sounded upset, not exactly disappointed. It's not like he would disown you, or that's what you hoped at least.

---

It wasn't but half hour later when you arrived at the hospital. Your mother offered to take you but you wanted to go alone. The nurse came in first and took a sample of your blood, assuring you everything would be fine. But you couldn't help but think otherwise.

The doctor opened the door, walking in and closing it behind her, her eyes turning the bright blue as she could smell your scent.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Dunbar. Don't worry, they sent me for a reason." She said in a sweet voice, looking at your file "Your blood sample came back. You are definitely an Omega."

You felt like you could faint. Looks like you hoped all too much on presenting as a Alpha or Beta. You closed your eyes as they turned the silver white color again.

"Since both of your parents are Alpha's you should be a Alpha or Beta, but it's not uncommon for Alpha's to have a Omega. Have you been marked or scented yet?"

You shook your head "Uh, no actually."

"That could be a problem since mating season is a few days from now. Your heat is a pre-heat type thing. It happens when female Alpha's, Beta's and Omega's present late or early on. A little bit of advice, don't go into work. You'll have every Alpha and Beta that hasn't mated chasing you. Between me and you, I was also late, don't take it so hard. I know it's a lot to take in."

A lot was an understatement. To you it was anyway.

---

Even though you were warned to not go to work, you did anyway. You needed the money and couldn't afford to call off. Your doctor gave you surpressants for the time being to help with your heat. Only thing was she didn't tell you how long they would last.

You changed in the red one piece and grabbed your whistle before leaving the changing room. Time to put the surpressants to the test.

---

Billy watched from the life guard tower as you walked across the other side of the pool and climbed up the other tower. He sniffed the air as the wind blew in his direction, his inner wolf growling as he picked up your scent, your heat scent. A scent he's never smelled so innocent.

"I can sense it you know."

He looked down to see Heather looking up at him with a smirk on her face "What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, then motioned towards Y/N "Oh please Billy. You want her, or at least your Alpha side does. I see the way you look at her."

Was it really that obvious? No, it couldn't have been. Billy knows how to hide his want for someone, especially when he wants someone as bad as he wants her. He would have her. Ask her on a date. Hell, why not ask her now? It would be the only chance he would get anyway.

Billy climbed down from the tower and walked to the other end of the pool. The closer he got, the more he could smell her, and damn did he have to fight to keep his composure.

"How would you like to go on a date?"

She looked down from her tower to see Billy looking up at you with a cocky smile. The smile mixed with his scent caused a reaction between her legs "Why are you asking me?"

"Because I want to get to know you better. Come on princess, I promise you won't regret it."

Y/N couldn't ignore her inner Omega screaming at her, no matter how much she tried "Uh, o-okay. What day and time?"

"Saturday night, eight o'clock. I'll pick you up."

---

Saturday night came faster than what you thought. You were very much nervous, more than what you should be. You looked in the mirror at you reflection, you picked out a little black dress that showed off your curves with a black denim jacket and heels. You put your long Y/H/C up in a ponytail before completing your make-up. At eight o'clock there was a knock at the front door. As you opened the door Billy turned his head, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he got a good look at your outfit "Damn, you look good"

Your eyes almost turned the silver white color as you could smell his scent mixed with cologne and cigarettes. His scent was enough for heat to gather between your legs "Thank you. So, where you taking me?"

---

A party. Billy took you to a party, which you didn't mind because you needed to get out more anyway and you used to party most of the time. The smell of different breeds lingered in the air. The only breed you smelled very little was Omega's.

You jumped when Billy brushed his hand up against your arm "It's just so the other breeds don't smell you as much."

He was right, you couldn't even smell yourself that much. You walked up to where his friends stood, getting a smell of their scents, Beta and Omega, their eyes changed color as they got a smell of your scent. Heads turned in your direction, it was either because you came with Billy, or because they could smell you, and in a way that terrified you.

---

Billy's inner Alpha growled as he watched you dance to the music with Carol. The way your moved your body to the music, he couldn't tear his eyes from you. It surprised him how Carol took to you, or maybe she was just drunk? Either way he didn't care.

He lit up a cigarette to try and ignore the weakness he felt in his knees. He needed to get out of there, but didn't want to leave you with no way to get home. He smiled a wolf-ish smile, maybe he could get her in the back of his Camaro? That's what the plan was anyway.

---

Billy put the Camaro in park after he pulled in Y/N's driveway. Before she opened the passenger door she turned to him "Wanna walk me to the front door?"

He walked her to the door of her house and she unlocked the door, he stood close behind her. Close enough to really get a good smell of the Omega's scent.

She turned to him, almost bumping her face in his chest "I uh, I really had a good tim-"

Billy was quick to capture her waist in his hands and lean down, connecting his lips with hers. She had her hands to his chest, almost like she wanted to push him away but she didn't. Her lips moved perfectly with his, that was until she sensed something not right "Billy, wait. I- I can't. I have to go. See you Monday."

---

Billy sped out of the driveway and down the street. When he kissed her there was no doubt he could hear the Omega inside her screaming to take her. She may not realize it but she will soon enough. For he was close, so fucking close.

[sinful-imagines]

Heyo! Can you do a Crusaders or Duwang Gang matchup for me (if you're not busy)? My character's a 19-year-old busty female, is 5'9", dark-skinned, and a Gemini. She loves to cuddle with her two cats, dance, and play video games. She also has a sentient stand that also enjoys the things she likes. If I can add more, she's also an Aspie, and she has a restless leg. She also has a quick temper, but it's also difficult to make her mad. hope that's not too much ;w; thanks!

I match You with...

Josuke Higashikata!!!

If You thought cuddling with Your Cats was nice, add Josuke to the mix! When all of You cuddle, It is like a warm nice blanket! Add Your stands too, and You get a big group cuddle!

Josuke doesn't have that much practice when it comes to dancing, but He will like to learn from You. Once he learns some moves, He'll definitely dance with You a lot from now on.

He freaking loves playing video games, and Since You do too, You and Him can do friendly competitions with each other (Either with Oh! That's a Baseball! Or F-Mega.)

Crazy Diamond and Your stand absolutely love each other. They either do the stuff that You guys do, or they give each other affection 24/7.

Since You both have short tempers but Your both are difficult to get angry, Very Rarely You guys will get mad each other. But If You and Josuke lose Your Temper at a Enemy Stand User, You Two become Unstoppable.

Hoped You Liked Your Match! Stay Safe, And Healthy! 💖

[thickest-antivirus-programs]

The mental disability industry is sexist

I have aspergers and ADHD, which I only found out in january this year (I'm 18) and only a year ago I found out I was born part male part female - let me explain - XY chromosomes, female parts so I was raised female but had no female or male hormones since those organs didn't work

Those two are a horrible combo. So when I was like 12 a psychiatrist suspected I had aspergers but wanted to confirm later and the next time I visited I was just perscribed antidepressants that my mom prohibited me from taking (lol)

Fast forward to last year when I had my ovaries since they didn't work and I was at risk of cancer, I was then very fortunate to be able to choose my gender and have the surgery partly from government money, but I chose female like I always was

So I started taking estrogen and something was still of so I begged my mom to take me to a psychiatrist again and she said I definetaly didn't have aspergers but prescribed antidepressants and sleep meds that my mom didn't allow me to take. I was still legally a child so if I couldn't convince her that I needed my meds (and I tried) theni had to listen to her.

Out of all places to getmedical help from, a youtube video popped up about aspergers in females specifically, I was shocked, the symptoms are so much different and

Not well researched

Compared to the autism spectrum in males. The stats are bad, 2/3 female aspies go unnoticed on their first psychiatrist visit. I talked to my school councelor and she said she thought I might be on the spectrum from what she heard about me and I went yet again in two different places until I was diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD

So when I was hormonally gender neutral, I was almost diagnosed, but after I started taking estrogen, I had to try three times.

Why is this bad? Why would someone want to get diagnosed in the first place?? Well, since I had to believe my doctor and pretend I was normal, I planned my life as if I was a normal person. I wasted alot of time on social events only recently learning they're supposed to be fun and not just a display of someone's social skills and more work. I tried having close friends that I couldn't support emotionally because aspergers makes you bad at understanding emotions, actually I could give a list of reasons the lenght of Donald Tr*mps golf bills but I'll assume people understand that when you have a sprained ankle you can only pretend it's fine until you have to run a marathon

You can't have a default life if you're not default so the later you learn about yourself the worse

Anyways I'm much better now and I hope you, reading this, are ok too and nobody you love catches corona. Peace

[mindingmyownbrain]

It was lists like this that really made think, “That’s me!” I doubt I would have perused a diagnosis without having read the Every Day Aspie list.

A quick note, though: There isn’t a “female autism” or a “female ADHD”. These are all traits of autism but these traits tend to manifest in different ways in males and females. Some woman and girls may have a very “male” presentation of autism, and some men and boys may have a very “female” presentation of autism. This is independent of gender identity or sexuality, and would neither confirm or suggest that someone might be transgender if they have they don’t have the traits usually expected of their sex. It just means the traits aren’t exclusive to any particular gender even if one gender has a tendency to have certain traits and another gender has a tendency to others. We gender the traits based on how frequently they present in males and females but the traits themselves have no gender. 

Excerpt:

Section A: Deep Thinkers

A deep thinker

A prolific writer drawn to poetry

*Highly intelligent

Sees things at multiple levels, including her own thinking processes

Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything, continually

Serious and matter-of-fact in nature

Doesn’t take things for granted

Doesn’t simplify

Everything is complex

Often gets lost in own thoughts and “checks out” (blank stare)

Section B: Innocent

Naïve

Honest

Experiences trouble with lying

Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty

Finds it difficult to understand vindictive behavior and retaliation

Easily fooled and conned

Feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed

Feelings of being misplaced and/or from another planet

Feelings of isolation

Abused or taken advantage of as a child but didn’t think to tell anyone

Section C: Escape and Friendship

Survives overwhelming emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action

Escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions, and over-interest in subjects

Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming

Escapes through mental processing

Escapes through the rhythm of words

Philosophizes, continually

Had imaginary friends in youth

Imitates people on television or in movies

Treated friends as “pawns” in youth, e.g., friends were “students” “consumers” “members”

Makes friends with older or younger females more so than friends her age (often in young adulthood)

Imitates friends or peers in style, dress, attitude, interests, and manner (sometimes speech)

Obsessively collects and organizes objects

Mastered imitation

Escapes by playing the same music over and over

Escapes through a relationship (imagined or real)

Numbers bring ease (could be numbers associated with patterns, calculations, lists, time and/or personification)

Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing, rearranging

Escapes into other rooms at parties

Cannot relax or rest without many thoughts

Everything has a purpose

Section D: Comorbid Attributes

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste) (might have synesthesia)

Generalized Anxiety

Sense of pending danger or doom

Feelings of polar extremes (depressed/over-joyed; inconsiderate/over-sensitive)

Poor muscle tone, double-jointed, and/or lack in coordination (may have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and/or Hypotonia and/or POTS syndrome)

Eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worry about what is eaten

Irritable bowel and/or intestinal issues

Chronic fatigue and/or immune challenges

Misdiagnosed or diagnosed with a mental illness

Experiences multiple physical symptoms, perhaps labeled “hypochondriac”

Questions place in the world

Often drops small objects

Wonders who she is and what is expected of her

Searches for right and wrong

Since puberty has had bouts of depression (may have PMDD)

Flicks/rubs fingernails, picks scalp/skin, flaps hands, rubs hands together, tucks hands under or between legs, keeps closed fists, paces in circles, and/or clears throat often

[streamworthytv]

“Ableism as Plot Device” in Netflix’s “Locke & Key”

So...as noted, I have a beef with Locke & Key, and the way certain characters were handled in the show (remember, this has nothing to do with the comic, which I haven’t seen...I have no idea if it’s fraught with the same problems).

I first watched the show as part of my Streamworthy TV venture (currently set up & being fleshed out on FB/IG/Twitter/Tumblr & Snapchat, with YouTube in progress...give me a follow, if you care to help someone AWESOME, that can’t work a traditional job...even part time). I myself am on the spectrum, and have mobility issues that require a chair often, due to EDS. So just putting it out there that people without these issues may not immediately have noticed the problems that I’ll be mentioning...but if you’ve seen the show, you’ll know what I’m talking about (you can also see my other, previous post on general crappiness, as well as LGBTQ issues, that are present in the show).

But this post will focus on ableism, and misrepresentation of neurodiversity and disability. (Please know that this is a PURPOSEFUL separation, as I don’t see my OWN Aspieness as a “disability,” but rather, an advantage. **I know that not all people may feel that way;** however, those of us that benefit from/appreciate the autistic aspects of ourselves ALSO have the right to not see autism as a “disability.” Autism is different for everyone, and thus it shouldn’t be forced into the box of “disability.” (Example: my hyperlexia from a young age served me VERY well with reading, writing papers, and test taking, for many, many years. But back to Locke & Key.)

The reason I brought up the above point was because, through the first season, L&K uses the “autism as disability only” angle, which many of us in the ASD community are used to seeing (and being annoyed by). And despite ZERO character development over the course of the series, I’ve seen “AUTISM AS PLOT DEVICE” employed THREE times, at LEAST. I was dragging through the show, annoyed at the portrayal and usage of the character, as well as a different character, who is wheelchair-using, and nonverbal. But suddenly the “realization of ableism” bolt hit me about the larger problems with the portrayals and usage of ASD here - and I got PISSED.

Maybe we have interests that may SEEM to others to “not be age appropriate” (...when, give me a break, how many NT adults/older teens love stories or movies from comics, or collect Funkos, or went hunting for Pokémon...? It’s NOT just us, y’all). Also, older kids CAN INDEED hang out with younger kids in a mentor-type way, without it being a situation of “welp, ASD = emotionally stunted, so character only hangs out with young child.” But those tropes aren’t enough.

We DON’T innocently extrapolate situations outside our head (in front of others!), ESPECIALLY if it breaks a safety rule we were told, i.e., “well, my mom said I’m not supposed to say if I’m home alone...but you’re a friend, so...no, she’s not here.” Before you tell me otherwise, keep this point in mind - if we have the ability to be home alone, SAFELY taking care of ourselves...then we wouldn’t slip like that. NOPE. If we DID, it wouldn’t BE safe for us to be home by ourselves.

As well, if we REALLY care about an item, we don’t let it go missing (the ASD character doesn’t, but someone else uses said character’s autism to blame for “needing to go looking for the toys he left behind, then got ‘upset’ about,” - also inferring a “meltdown” - every time she needs to go to someone’s else’s house). **If something is related to one of our SpIns (special interests), we DON’T MISPLACE THOSE ITEMS HAPHAZARDLY!!** I’ve been that way since I was a kid. Ugh!!! You also see someone destroy one of his treasured items, just to be cruel. This shows us how important the items are to the character...so he WOULDN’T be forgetting them.

So, we see a mother using tropes of her son’s autism, to manipulate herself into certain important areas/situations, more than once. That, and the fact that the character with ASD is able to let someone know they were home alone when a crime occurred (thus making the person that lives with them a suspect), because of their completely unrealistic, verbalized musing of “the ASD thought process”...mix it all in with the total lack of character development, and you come to the final conclusion:

“This character is only here as a plot device. They’ve been given zero character development, and have been shown JUST enough to ESTABLISH THAT THEY ARE NEURODIVERSE, and then are thereafter ONLY in ways that FURTHER THE PLOT...in ways that would only occur BECAUSE the character is neurodiverse.”

So yeah. This is lazy writing of the worst degree, and I’m more than a little annoyed. I’m sick and tired of “DISABILITY AS PROP OR PLOT DEVICE” (whether that disability is a assumed or not), as well as disabled or neurodiverse characters ONLY being shown as tropes. This does a disservice to not only the ASD community, but to society as a whole; people will expect us to act a certain way, and not be understanding of those that are “higher functioning” - for lack of a better term - than those that are portrayed on television. As well, it’s part of the reason why females with autism are still VASTLY under-diagnosed (as they can have VASTLY different presentation). Not only do people get used to seeing a particular suite of “symptoms,” which they equate to ALL people on the spectrum...but those shown in media are almost NEVER female.

I’m not sure if the comic is set up this way as well, and it’s just poorly executed on TV...but I’m peeved AF😡 There is also the poor acting/treatment of the wheelchair-using, institutionalized character, & how her being non-verbal is ALSO used to further the plot (yikes, my hands are shot...but I’ll get out what I can, here).

I’ve worked with MANY non-verbal children (it was actually my specialty, before physical & mental health issues of my own)...and I’ve also had my OWN bouts of being non-verbal, due to trauma/illness. On BOTH sides, I have always found a way to communicate. Even when my Dad was on a ventilator and life support (mostly for breathing/kidney function, due to sepsis...we sadly lost him a few weeks later), I was able to communicate with him...because, with my background, I saw that he was able to respond with the wiggling of a toe, or squeezing of a hand.

So the use of a non-verbal character that “can’t tell her important secrets,” as another necessary part of the plot, is just MORE lazy, insulting, ableist scriptwriting. The character is NOT catatonic, and is aware of what’s going on all around them; so, by what you see in all interactions with her, it makes you wonder what’s happening to her when she doesn’t have visitors. Is she just rolled into a back room, or off to the side, where no one gives her ANY adaptive equipment?

Any research would show that one with speech issues can build sentences with an eye-gaze machine, or even eye-gaze itself, with symbols. I’d like to think that in real life, a CENTER for those that are disabled, of all places(!!!), would have at least ONE of those machines, or some other means of communication, available.

This is another point that is sad for society at large to view, as it makes people think that they “shouldn’t bother with” people that are non-verbal, as there’s “no way” to let them be part of communication, besides the method used in the show (which I have used as well, but you would think this poor character would be getting SOME type help/services/etc!) It was just CRINGEWORTHY AF...I’m SO sick of shows/movies where someone needs to address someone thrown in the back of an institution alone, to rot (off the top of my head, I remember this from “Dark” on Netflix, as well as on “Orphan Black,” amongst others).

So...yea. I just wanted to post this, for if anyone asks for a link, or anyone stumbles across this, and themselves saw these issues, and got upset. Trust me - it wasn’t just you. This is a comic that was supposedly quite successful...the television adaptation of this could’ve been MUCH better. If there were tropes of other marginalized groups in the comic, you can be SURE that those would be righted for TV. But the ableist train keeping chugging right along, as more people than EVER claim to be “woke”🙄 YIKES.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Brief Trans thingy from a (technically) trans person. Edit after the fact: I’m sorry, but this is not brief.

I talk with my mom about trans stuff a lot. She’s in her sixties and wants to understand simply because a.) it’s me and it’s important to me b.) it comes up in the news a bit and she gets confused. Recently she read an article about a non-binary person who now has a difficult relationship with Harry Potter. Harry Potter kept them from suicide. Which mom thought was very sweet and she liked reading the article. Where she struggled was with this person’s identity. The writer of the article was AMAB, but felt more aligned with femininity, took estrogen, and all around presented as a woman. But used they/them pronouns. Mom couldn’t understand why you would go to that much trouble to present as female but still go by they/them. “It just brings the problem up again that you’re not really a girl.”

Let me say this before going further. My mom is not transphobic. It might sound that way if you don’t know her and just hear her words but she’s not. She first looks at it biologically, because she’s autistic and a former nurse, that trans women can never be women. Meaning, trans women can never be female. But she’s not about to say they shouldn’t be in women’s spaces or call them men. On the level we all care about, she is accepting of trans people as the gender they say they are. Example: I talked about my friend Chris a lot before I actually brought him home. Chris is a demiboy - hi Chris, I know you’re here. And it took me a bit but I was able to fully refer to Chris by his preferred pronouns consistently. My parents therefore also referred to him with those pronouns, not knowing he ever had any others. When he came over, my mom noted that his voice is more... feminine. She didn’t even think trans, she thought “hmm. He must be smart to be in college when he hasn’t even gone through puberty yet.” Dad even asked mom in a whisper “is Chris short for a Christopher or Christina?” They were just confused. But that didn’t stop them from going “okay, Chris is a boy and that’s what matters. We are confused, but Chris is a boy.” Now that mom knows the score, she will often mention Chris in her questions as an example we both know. (Often in sexuality questions - for example, if Chris goes out with a girl is that straight or gay? It’s straight, but also queer. You can see why an Aspie would get confused. I had the same question a while ago.) To reiterate, Mom doesn’t care if a person is trans. They should go where they feel most comfortable. She might say things to me that are accidentally transphobic, but I tell her about it and she would never actually say them to another trans person. If she did, I would explain to the trans person in question and to my mom that it came out wrong and tell her why. We’re autistic. We much prefer to be told about our mistakes and how to correct them.

Anyway. She kept asking me “why go by they/them if you present as female?” And I told her “because she/her could hurt.” As a nurse she know how to respond to hurt. How do we stop the hurt? And in the case of this person, stopping the hurt is going by they/them. But mom wants to address the root of the hurt, not be palliative about it. She wants to know how to make she/her stop hurting, when it can’t. It’s not that kind of hurt. I ended up coming up with a metaphor, after all of my gender visualizations fell flat.

Let’s say you have a great job lined up in Kansas City. You have an apartment there, everything is set up for you to go to Kansas City. So you leave, going from St. Louis to Kansas City. On the way you stop off in Jefferson City. Jefferson City is great! You love Jefferson City! You have so much fun on your brief stop in Jefferson City. But you have to keep going, you have to see Kansas City, things are waiting for you there.

But when you get to Kansas City... you don’t like it. The job is fine, the apartment is fine, but you just... don’t like it. “Why don’t you like it?” She asks. I don’t know, that’s different from person to person. Maybe the aquarium isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe the people are impolite. Maybe it just doesn’t vibe with you. But you can either stay unhappy in Kansas City, where things are certain. Which some people do for a while. Or you can start over in Jefferson City. Things will be new and uncertain, but you already know you love it. Sometimes being trans is going all the way to Kansas City and staying there. Sometimes you get to Jefferson City and decide screw Kansas City I’m going to stay here. And sometimes being trans is going all the way and deciding it’s not for you, so you go back. And maybe you don’t go all the way. Maybe you stop somewhere between Kansas City and Jefferson City, in some little nowhere town, because it makes you happy beyond words to be there. And the metaphor continues on. Cis people are happy to stay in St. Louis. Maybe they’ve explored elsewhere but found St. Louis is the best place for them. I’m genderfluid. St. Louis is fine but I like to get on a bus now and then.

The metaphor worked. But the question come up again. “So she’s happy in Jefferson City. Why does she care if other people know she’s there? She looks like she’s from Kansas City, why not say she is?” Still misgendering solely out of confusion. “Why use they/them if you’re happy looking like a girl?” And I finally was able to tell her, in a pride event or a safe place, this is what they prefer. This is what makes them happy. They are so proud of finding the best place, they are so proud of living in Jefferson City. But some people don’t accept that. Some people think it’s stupid. Some people, upon hearing the mere hint of transness, will lash out and even be violent. They would prefer to go by they/them, but if they don’t feel safe, they will accept being misgendered. They will accept Kansas City merch if it keeps them safe. But wherever they can, if they feel safe about it, they will tell people about their journey to Jefferson City. They’ll tell them all about the landmarks, the museums, the local cuisine, that one burger joint you should never go to. They appreciate Jefferson City guidebooks.

Dysphoria comes into play, too. Some people absolutely hate that they look like they’re from St. Louis. They want to be associated with Kansas City at all costs. They’ve thrown out all their Cardinals merch - it’s the Royals or nothing! Some are cool with it sometimes and not at others. Some like myself don’t mind it at all. St. Louis is still a part of them, and it was fun while it lasted. They still like the Cardinals but they cheer for the Royals too. And when they play each other - well, I can’t take the metaphor there. And euphoria! You tolerate Cardinals merch but when someone gives you a Royals shirt you wear it all the time!! Kansas City stickers make you so excited!

I don’t remember where I was going with this. But either way I think I stumbled into a great metaphor.

[cxrsedsouls]

The Runaway Bride

Name: Ayame Yamazaki Age/Birthday: 173 /  November 26th 1846 Height/Hair/Eyes: 5′3 / Red / Orange Species: Pureblood Vampire Gender/Orientation: Female / Demisexual / Demiromantic Relationship Status: Taken by Kai (Aspis) Adler Availability: Unavailable Notable Features: Cold pale skin, eyes that can change to red and fangs that can grow FC/VC:  Chidori Takishiro / Salena Gomez IRL FC/BC: Ana De Armas

Bio:

Ayame, one of the youngest of the clans is believed to be the only Pureblood born without an ability. Her training was difficult, far worse than the rest as they tried everything they could think of to call out whatever power she might have and yet nothing worked. It was clear to Akio at this point that Ayame truly had no worth among the clans without an ability, though she took her combat training well enough, there were far too many others that were better than her. Anything that she could do, there was always someone who could do it better.

Instead, figuring the best way to put their powerless member to use was to marry her off, at least then they’d get the benefits of whatever that family could offer from her. And it wasn’t long after that that they found her “the perfect husband”. He was rich, powerful, and had influence within the higher branches of politicians and government. Exactly the type of associate they were looking for. The marriage was planned, the date set and she had already been shipped over to the states to live with her husband.

At first things seemed good, he was polite, charming and very good looking. But it wasn’t long before she saw his true colors. He started growing impatient waiting for their wedding day, obvious to Ayame that all he wanted was to bed her, and yet the clans made it part of their deal that he couldn’t take her until they were officially married. He grew agitated and his temper began to show more and more the longer he waited. Eventually, it turned physical, if it weren’t for the fact that she is a Pureblood he likely would have hospitalized her on numerous occasions.

One day she overheard a conversation between her fiancé and her father who had come to speak with him personally. Once she heard that the wedding was being put off because of a rebellion that rose among the clans, she knew what would happen next. The moment her father left, her fiancé destroyed his office in his anger and immediately sought out Ayame only to find her gone. He had planned to take what he thought was rightfully his, tired of waiting but she took one small suitcase and ran. She had managed to withdraw as much money as she could from her account before fleeing, to give her something to survive with until she found another way to earn some money.

For awhile there she was homeless, staying in abandoned buildings and empty houses just to keep a roof over her head. Luckily she didn't have to worry about food since she's a Pureblood. Then, one day she came across a changed vampire named Megane who made the young Pureblood an offer she couldn't refuse. Since then, Ayame works for her at the bar, sometimes behind it serving drinks, sometimes she sings and dances, pretty much doing anything that her employer asks of her in exchange of a regular paycheck and for Meg allowing her to stay in one of the rooms she has over the bar. She goes by simply Aya (pronounced Iya) now, never giving out her true name or her last name in fear that she'd be found.

One thing the clans don’t know is that she isn’t powerless. She does in fact have a special ability it just never had the chance to reveal itself before. She has the ability to enhance someone else’s ability, to make it stronger or to weaken it and sometimes even cancel it out. Being in her presence alone is enough to get a boost to someone’s magical abilities though most don’t notice unless they’re using it and she’s never been in a situation where (other than during her training and even then her power wasn’t strong enough to feel a difference) someone used their powers near her. She can even sense latent abilities within someone and with them being around her can cause those abilities to awaken.

[thoughtsfromafemaleaspie-blog]

Image description: Black and white head with ravens flying and text reading "Though I may be physically present, my thoughts may be miles away on wings and scattered trails" - - - #autism #autismperspective #autism #autismeducation #asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #inclusion #differentnotless #autismadvocate #spectrum #autismspectrum #autisticadult #instautism #instaasd #livinglife #livingautism #autismadvocacy

[amberandmetal]

៚Get to know the author

So I thought this could be a good idea? Maybe?

Okay, so I identify as a non binary female which yeah yeah I am aware sounds completely contradictory but it’s the only term that fits with how I feel so just roll with it, yeah? Any pronouns are cool with me, I honestly don’t care about that; she/they/he whatever works. Honestly my gender identity might just be Chaos.

I’m pansexual, living with my boyfriend of 9 years in Stockholm, Sweden and I’m (mildly) autistic. And before you start getting all of these images in your head about rain man etc let me just tell you that that’s not the case; I have what in the past was called Aspergers, which is and is now called mild autism/level 1 autism/highfunctioning autism. So I’m high functioning, I just have a disability which shows itself in, among other ways, my complete lack in social skills (this is why I have basically zero tumblr friends so please consider adopting me as your online friend, I promise to send you porn and memes.)

I’m into a lot of fandoms but mainly Marvel Cinematic Universe. The others are: Sherlock (which I might even take a swing at writing for in the future), Supernatural (writing for), Teen wolf (writing for), Harry Potter, Riverdale (It’s like a trainwreck, I can’t look away), Buffy the vampire slayer, The umbrella academy (haven’t written for but wouldn’t be opposed).

Besides autism I have Generalised anxiety disorder and (not diagnosed but my shrink is pretty convinced) Body dysmorphic disorder. And yeah I know I sound like a one woman dumpster fire but I’m pretty together- I mean I have my shit but I have worked on it for a long time and I manage to function. I am medication free and I am currently graduating from three years of community college to get my high school diploma (dropped out of school at 14 because I was too mentally ill to keep up). So yeah, I’m doing alright; some days are better than others and some are downright brutal but that’s life.

What you should know is that I am kind; I value kindness above all else but I am not good at communicating via text so sometimes I fuck up and can sound mean or just a bit not good. If I ever do, and you feel offended or hurt please send me a dm and tell me because I can promise you, unless you’re a genuinely bad person with opinions that put some people above others, it probably is a misunderstanding or just my aspie showing.

When it comes to ships I am pretty much here for it all. I love all the ships! .. except Stucky. I love Stuckony, but Steve and Bucky alone just doesn’t make sense in my head. They’re just the ultimate brotp so yeah. Also there is no shiphate here, if you want to send me an ask to gush about something Stucky: feel free. I can appreciate talking about it even if I don’t ship it myself. And on the note of no ship hate: I do enjoy both wincest and thorki. If you don’t like that sorta thing I totally respect that, and I hope you respect me and my choice too. I have come to some conclusions when it comes to the world of fanart and fanfiction and I’m just very open. Ship what you want to ship, we all have our reasons, right? If you want to know why I ship thorki and/or wincest or my thoughts about sibling ships you can message me or send me an ask and I will gladly answer any questions as long as you’re respectful about it.

The only things I don’t like are gore, watersports (or the like), non con (unless romanticised or roleplayed), bestiality, necrophilia etc. And yeah this is my Nono-list in fanfiction and fanart; in real life the list is very much longer. Fanfiction and fanart are fantasies, and not every fantasy wants or should become reality. They’re two very different things.

Well that’s that, I think? I am a kind, flawed, good hearted, scarred, slightly crazy, thirsty mess of a fangirl and I hope you like my blog and the content I put out there. Oh, and that reminds me: I have childhood trauma and serious issues that I am dealing with. A part of this is huge insecurities and a major fear of failure. So do me a solid? Help me dare keep writing and posting by reblogging with a comment, replying with a comment or (please I will love you forever and everytime I get one my heart does a somersault) send me an ask. Every little word of encouragement and/or appreciation does wonders for my self doubt. It only takes a minute and helps so much.

P.S I absolutely take requests. I can’t promise to do every single one- if inspiration doesn’t strike it doesn’t strike. But if I can’t I will post your request and tag a few people I know that write and see if they want to take it. Also I write in a variety of different styles as fanfiction is mainly a way of practising my writing. So some things I write very poetic and some are more straightforward or focused more on dialogue etc, so if you have a preference about that let me know when/if you send in a request.

Much love/ Vala