yet-another-autistic-blog

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

the thing about disability is it really does sometimes boil down to "wow i wish i could do that" and then you can't. and it sucks.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

No matter how many rules you learn, there’s always going to be a secret rule you don’t know about that people are gonna get mad at you for not intuitively knowing.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

when you're autistic and you learn how to smalltalk it literally feels like you started hacking real life

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Anonymously submitted June 17, 2024.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

My Wife: babe I think my dad might be autistic

Me: your face-blind, emotionally oblivious, picky eater of a father, who has numerous niche interests and the best-organized fly-tackle-box I have ever seen, might be autistic?

My Wife: you knew?

Me: you didn’t?

My Wife: babe I’m not ok I’m having a whole-

Me: you can hear the TVs, babe.

My Wife: What

Me, pointing at the special no-flicker lighting I installed in our house so that we never actually have to have the Big Overhead Light on: babe!

My Wife: … oh my god am I autistic?

Me:

My Wife:

Me: you didn’t know!?

My Wife: YOU DID!?

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

FOUND IT!

It was goblin.tools.

I need help tracking down a thing. I remember seeing on here a while back a website where you could type in a task, and it would break it down into steps for you, and there was a slider to control how many steps. I think the website also had other neurodivergent-friendly tools. I can’t remember the name of it, and Google isn’t helping.

Does anyone else know the name of the thing I’m talking about?

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

I need help tracking down a thing. I remember seeing on here a while back a website where you could type in a task, and it would break it down into steps for you, and there was a slider to control how many steps. I think the website also had other neurodivergent-friendly tools. I can’t remember the name of it, and Google isn’t helping.

Does anyone else know the name of the thing I’m talking about?

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Starting to hate how ears aren't like the other organs on the head. I can close my eyes if the light is too bright. I can hold my breath if there's a smell I don't like. I can close my mouth if I don't want to speak. Not with ears. I will have to listen to every sound in existence and I have to like it.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

If nobody ever explained this to you, if someone you see a lot does something you like and you never ever tell them that, they might think you don’t like them or don’t like the things they do for you.

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

>doing a thing >neurotypical person stops me and tells me the "right" way to do it >ask if it's actually better or just societal convention >they don't get it >show a chart explaining what is actually better and what is just societal convention >"haha it's the right way to do it" >do it their way >it's societal convention

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

comorbid disorders are either like "yeah ok, makes sense" or "what the fuck"

adhd and autism having a high comorbidity rate? yeah checks out

adhd and autism both having high rates of comorbidity with hypermobility and GI issues? thats an evil curse

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[yet-another-autistic-blog]