#thought it would be cool and help exemplify the stuff he has going on?

[jsdimensions]

Uh oh!!! Undertale is grabbing a hold of me again!! anyway

this is iota!!! an old sans au I made about 2 years ago that I have given an overhaul! he looks SO much better now...

he was previously named missing_file (or just file for short) but I thought that name didn't fit him anymore after redoing basically everything (and I just don't like it anymore in general)

I might get to make the ask blog I always wanted to make with him....we'll see!!!!

[nohoperadio]

That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.

The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.

And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.

So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.

I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.

[kaijuworldorder]

Gadzooki + Konky Donk: The Empire Magazine review

Oh shit I was supposed to post this weeks ago and forgot, oops. Anyway, having seen Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire a second time and solidified my opinion of it, yeah it's pretty good! Major glow-up from the previous entry. It's not perfect and is no less stupid than its predecessor, but it's the kind of dumb movie that I like, one that doesn't go out of its way to insult my intelligence or annoy me. The things that worked about Godzilla vs. Kong are here only way more, and the things that sucked are mostly not here. There's just enough substance that my adult self is happy, and all the mindless wild spectacle that makes kWo Junior cheer and want to bash action figures together. Adam Wingard said in an interview that his aim was to make a modern-day Toho Champion Festival movie, and I think he succeeded. I'm no longer nearly as worried about the future of the MonsterVerse as I was. I thought this picture was going to suck ass, but I sure ate my words. 4 stars, check it out if you haven't yet.

There's the short version. Under the cut, I'll get into specifics of what I liked and what I didn't. If you're still wanting to see GxK and somehow haven't yet, I recommend doing so before reading on, because I spoil a lot of the movie here.

WHAT I LIKED

Big-time Inhumanoids vibes. The tone, the “journey into a subterranean world to stop evil monsters from taking over Earth” plot, Skar King being kinda like Metlar personality-wise and living in a horrible lava hell, the wacky pseudoscience and power armor (well, just a gauntlet but you get the picture), the gruesome violence…I half-expected the end credits to sound like this. GxK is the closest I think we will ever get to a big-budget theatrical Inhumanoids motion picture, unless a miracle happens and Hasbro decides to give a shit again and buys back the rights. For those who aren't familiar with Inhumanoids: get familiar with it, you’ll thank me later.

Rebecca Hall's new hairstyle. Yeah.

Bernie no longer sucks. Way less grating and unfunny, doesn't parrot fascist talking points every goddamned second, and the sense of wonder he shows upon seeing the Hollow Earth for the first time really won me over.

Jia. One of the previous movie’s strongest aspects in my opinion, particularly her dynamic with Kong, and that holds true in this picture as well. She gets a good deal more to do, shows off more range, and her whole emotional arc in this hits just right for me. Feeling alone even though you’re not, feeling like you don’t fit in anywhere, thinking there must be something wrong with you but you can’t put it into words…these are things I can relate to all too well. And I won’t lie, I choked up when she chose to stay with Andrews at the end.

Unfridging the Iwi. The previous film’s most egregious, unforgivable misstep has been walked back, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s also good to see the Iwi having a more active role in the story, instead of basically being window dressing like in Kong: Skull Island, which as much as I love that movie was kind of a problem. It helps that the Hollow Earth Iwi are just extremely cool. Love the crystal spears, the gravity pyramid and all their other Sufficiently Advanced tech. They’re like if Seatopia weren’t horrible assholes, or if the Nilai Kanai were in a better movie. I like 'em!

Dentist! A thing I love about the MonsterVerse is how it comes up with creative stuff involving kaiju that no other movie has ever really thought to do (e.g. Godzilla flashing Chellen-kov LIGHT from his spines as a threat display). I also like that it shows how the world has changed in response to the emergence of Godzilla and the others—how culture, the economy, politics, and general day-to-day life have shaped themselves around these creatures. Trapper exemplifies both of these things really well. I doubt I would ever have come up with the idea of a kaiju veterinarian, let alone written a scene showing how a dental procedure on a 300-foot ape would work, but I'm so grateful for that level of worldbuilding. He’s also just a goofy weird guy and I like him.

Golden Earring "Twilight Zone" needle drop. One of my favorite songs of all time is in this movie and I know it's kinda stupid to pop for things like that, but goddammit I loved it.

Kong’s arc. There’s just something really satisfying about finally seeing a King Kong who isn’t the last of his kind. Plus he gets a Trendmasters accessory robo-glove gimmick, which is just stupid enough that I'm into it.

Monster rasslin'. I do wish the fight scenes had more weight and scale to them, but goddamn, they're just so much fun and visually engaging. I can't dislike a movie where Godzilla does a vertical suplex.

Sucko. I love this horrible little ugly-cute weirdo/giant ape version of Rock Howard, and not just because “hehe funni mokney” or the bit where Kong uses him as a blunt object to clobber those other assholes. I got genuinely invested in him and Kong bonding, as he realizes that barely anyone in the Skar King’s domain ever showed him genuine kindness before. He is good and can stay.

The Skar King. Fantastic love-to-hate-him scumbag villain, chock-full of personality. You really want to see Kong and Godzilla kick this guy’s ass, and his cruelty and tyranny getting paid back in full at the end is so satisfying. The only thing that really sucks about him is his uncreative name. Like come on, “Hanuman” was RIGHT THERE, especially since the Whipslash can totally stand in for a tail.

Skar King’s soldiers. I love these Lost City of Zinj-ass motherfuckers. They're nasty and fun and I want action figures of them yesterday, so hey uh, Playmates, maybe get on that? Not like you'd have to spend a ton of money either, just reuse the Ferocious Kong and Skar King body molds and make a couple new heads, splash some red paint on em and voila, instant gorilla warfare. That one balding ape with the fucked-up eye who Sucko kicks off the pyramid to his death might require some new tooling, but nothing major.

Shimo. It's nice to have an antagonist monster who isn't evil, and is still alive at the end of the picture. We don't often get reptilian monsters not named Godzilla that are babyfaces, and ice powers are rare in Toho kaiju circles. She's just a breath of fresh air, with a simple but effective design and a genuine emotional hook; I really felt bad for her when the Skar King was bossing her around and basically torturing her, and the joy she feels at her freedom from his control transcends onto me, the viewer.

Mothra is so fucking back. She makes her presence felt, she doesn't die this time, and she gets a little more to do here than in King of the Monsters, which I appreciate. I still say she ought to have a solo spinoff movie; she's Strong and Cool™ enough to stand on her own, and there's so much more you can do with her than just being Godzilla's conscience and bestest pal.

Tiamat. It was nice to see her in motion finally instead of just being relegated to tie-in comics that the movies ignore 99.9% of the time. Shame we’re never gonna see her again.

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE

Junkie XL's score. Soulless and unmemorable hackery, just like his work on Godzilla vs. Kong. The Skar King motif sounds like he started to compose something and then just gave up. He also has a Jimmy Hart version of "Mothra's Song" to accompany the previous movie's Jimmy Hart Godzilla theme, and it's just as lame. Bring back McCreary or Desplat, please and thank ya.

AVP-wi. As much as I like the Hollow Earth Iwi, I’m a little annoyed that the Iwi are now apparently the only ancient monster-worshiping culture there has ever been. It feels dumbed down, and limits what future stories in this setting will be able to do.

Godzilla Evolved. Boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about this, none of it good. Godzilla's new look is way too busy and overdesigned with all these spiky greebles all over him that make him look more like a Monster Hunter boss than the King of the Monsters, and his proportions physically hurt me to look at. Where did all the internal organs in his torso go to make his waist that slim? What the fuck is up with his arms? Why are there dorsal spines growing out of his elbows and forearms? It just doesn't look right. I get that they're trying to evoke the Godzilla 2000 design with the giant pink spines and slimmer body proportions and the spikier and slightly greener skin (it's even got the same feet) but it just isn't done that well, and besides, if I wanted to see that design, I'd watch that movie. It’s just fucking up the cohesion of the Legendary Godzilla design and eroding its visual identity even more, dragging it further and further in directions it wasn’t meant to go in a cynical capitalistic move to sell new toys. I said it in 2019 and I'll say it again: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Moreover, it's 100% cosmetic and doesn't actually affect the movie at all in any meaningful way, it's just Dragon Ball-style "new color = stronger" power creep. We keep being told how much more powerful Godzilla is now, but we're not shown any evidence that there's a significant difference. It doesn't feel like there's anything Evolved Godzilla does that regular Godzilla couldn't or hasn't before. He doesn't act any different or display new abilities. His new thagomizer and Batmanesque arm spines? Never uses 'em, they're just more surface greebles to clutter up the design. Why make changes like that if you're not gonna do anything with them? Hell, the only new trick Godzilla shows off in this, the classic blue Nuclear Pulse, is something he uses before he evolves! And then he never does it again after that! Even the atomic breath color change is meaningless. We're told it's stronger than before, but again, we never actually see that; it doesn’t seem to do any more damage to monsters or buildings than the old one did. Sure, it burns away Shimo's ice storm at the end, but Godziller burned a tunnel all the way through the fucking Earth with the regular blue breath in the last movie, so it doesn't really feel like something he needed a new form to be able to do. I don't believe for one second that Godzilla Evolved was necessary; there's not enough real difference between it and Original Flavor Godzilla to justify its existence. I realize that's probably unfair of me to say since I don't know if or how much anything that would've helped illustrate the difference better may have been part of the movie before but got cut for time, but to me at least, the effect on the finished film is that Most Powered-Up New Godzilla® just feels like a palette swap in a video game, and that's not great. Maybe instead, oh I dunno, you could have Godzilla have a rough time and just barely win against Scylla in Rome instead of wasting her in seconds, Final Wars-style? Maybe have a little flashback to the ancient war of Godzilla vs. Hanuman & 700 Big Gorilla, like show him barely surviving that, so we get an idea of what he's up against? Then when he powers up, we can buy that he's stronger now, like a sense of progression or something. Instead, what we get is basically a Hong Kong martial arts flick if it showed the hero doing a training montage and then beating all the bad guys, but didn't show any of why he needed to train in the first place, e.g. the bad guys kicking his ass. It's a payoff with no setup. I assume this is probably a side effect of Godzilla in New Empire being what immature people with bad opinions claim he was in Godzilla (2014)—a guest star in his own movie—so there might not have been a way to avoid this problem without significantly altering the pacing, but like…could they have at least fucking tried?

[teruthecreator]

okay. thoughts on the grad finale

gonna slap it under a readmore bc i’m Sure i’m gonna ramble. 

uh spoiler warning for the finale of taz graduation, as well as spoilers for the season in general.

also, these are my own thoughts of how the season went, what the themes were, etc! if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine! but i don’t wanna have a convo w you in the replies about it i’ll be honest. if you want to share your opinion so badly, make your own post, alright? that good? we cool?

aight. so. finale thoughts.

to make it short: i think the finale was a satisfying end of a very good arc. 

to expand upon that, let me share what i think the themes of graduation were and why the finale satisfies those themes. 

i made a post about this a while back (here it is if you want) but my honest belief was that the theme of graduation was self-reliance: the concept that you don’t allow yourself to be governed by forces that go against your own beliefs. this concept was coined by essayist ralph waldo emerson to talk about how the american people shouldn’t allow the government to create laws that go against the will of the people. now, understandably, this feels very anti-capitalist which is what i think a lot of fans believed was reflected through the season. 

but, in reality, self-reliance has more to do with being active in your government and making sure you’re being represented the way you want to be by your representatives. that’s sort of the vibe emerson was going for in his essay, and i think. in a sense? that translates to graduation. but i took self-reliance in the more metaphorical about breaking away from those things that are controlling you. which, in graduation, was A Lot Of Things. 

the way i saw it, there were two major groups that inflicted order upon the world and the thundermen--conveniently separated as order and chaos (not the deities though, just the concepts). 

the order half of control existed mostly through the school and the HOG. the HOG created the economic reliance on the heroes and villains system, which removed all literal meaning from those terms and turned them into bureaucratic titles. society existed under these very strict checks and balances; heroes and villains supplied money to the kingdom in terms of entertainment, which then boosted that kingdom’s creditability and allowed them to contribute more to nua’s economy, which then led heroes and villains to have a higher demand, thus perpetuating the cycle. it’s important to note that this term does not represent the sort of morality we expect for heroes and villains--hell, even the term “evil” turned into an arbitrary term used to show those heroes and villains who failed the system. this is the more prominent representation of control that the thundermen break away from in achieving their own self-reliance. they don’t see the value in a system that holds no real moral code (fitzroy Especially, but i’ll get into that in a bit), and can’t help the public when there’s actually a serious situation. as we saw with althea in the beginning, the HOG had no way to help the thundermen when they were dealing with the whole Demon Prince situation (as he had already placed some of his own people in there, proving these kind of systems are easily corruptible). so this wasn’t a system meant to Actually create heroes and villains--it was just a way of boosting the economy. 

the chaos half of control existed primarily through grey and Chaos. grey represented how chaos could be controlled, through various means. he planted that tree for the centaurs to fight over because he knew it would constantly create conflict, which he enjoyed. he kept the school under a watchful eye to prevent anyone from stepping out of line with his grand ideas, and used several manipulation tactics to try and get his way (most notably, his own admittance of grooming fitzroy into joining his side, which didn’t work). grey was the perfect example of how chaos does not automatically mean a lack of control. he was very controlling in how he did things because he had an endgoal: find hieronymous and have a war. but he didn’t even realize he was contributing to a greater idea, that being Chaos’s insistence on causing general disarray. as we realize now, Chaos’s plan was both for them and Order, but i’m leaving Order out for a second because they only really rear their head in towards the end. for the most part, audiences were led to assume that Chaos was the Big Bad(TM); they were the one pulling the strings, allowing things to happen to cause general chaos and disarray. them supplying random mortals with their endless power was a way to plant chaos into the world of nua; but it was a chaos they controlled. fitzroy resisting them was not simply a refusal to bend to Chaos, but it was resisting the control put on him through his magic. 

these systems were constricting the thundermen on both sides. when they thought they’d find help in one side, they were disappointed to find that there was nothing anyone could do. the only people who could fix their problems were...them. so they forged a new path, set new ideas, and became self-reliant. that’s what i think is the most important aspect of graduation; not the anti-capitalist implications of turning over the economic and political systems in place, but the idea that if nothing that is supposed to help you is actually helping that you can just...do your own thing! 

and i think that’s what the finale really shows, at the end of the day. that these forms of control were not doing anything helpful, and were in fact ruining the fabric of space-time! that’s where i think Order comes in because Order is really...the ultimate culmination of control. they are aware that Everything being done will benefit their cause. the HOG? well, they make sure everybody’s so incompetent that they can do their work. grey? well, he’ll contribute to the plan without even realizing it. they even manipulated Chaos and enacted their own form of control over Chaos to make sure that they had no reason to believe that this plan couldn’t go wrong. but Order knew. Order always knew there was a chance for error, and that chance was very great. but they didn’t care! so long as they had control of things, they could try a hundred times to get it right. they had no care for mortals, unlike Chaos. 

the thundermen showing Chaos the truth is the final jenga piece that collapses this tower of control. which is why the finale is so great. 

travis does a phenomenal job of incorporating chaos (general chaos) into the battle mechanics. it may be stupid and slightly arbitrary, but having them change forms randomly and having to adapt to those new circumstances really does exemplify the season!!! the thundermen were constantly forced into new situations (being sidekicks/henches, fitzroy becoming a villain, being let in on the heiro dog situation, the unbroken chain trial, joining forces w grey, etc.), and in all of them they simply found a way to adapt and keep working their way. which made the finale generally interesting and also thematically interesting! 

i think my favorite part of the entire fight scene is right at the end, when argo chucks the shark’s tooth necklace at Order. and time stops. and they’re given a choice. 

the fact that they leave it to a coin toss?? oh my god...how fucking FITTING!! like, that’s disorderly. that’s going your own way. it’s new, it’s terrifying, it has DIRE UNKNOWNS ON EITHER SIDE, but it’s what they do! and...it ends up working out! i think it would’ve worked out either way, but the fact that they left it up to chance really shows how they aren’t allowing anything to control their actions. 

AND THEN WE GET TO THE EPILOGUE. MY GOD I LOVE THE EPILOGUE I’M GONNA GO OFF SO MUCH. 

first off, i loved hearing how Nua adapts to losing this very significant form of government/economic contributor and turns to more people-based work. citizens uniting together, fixing things, making amends, THAT’S SELF-RELIANCE BABEY!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE EMERSON SHIT! HAVING A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT THAT ACTUALLY HAS THE INTERESTS OF THE PEOPLE AT LARGE!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH THAT’S THE WHOLE SELF-RELIANCE THING!

now, i’ll break it down by characters: 

fitzroy

GOD. LOVE IT. FIRST OFF, absolutely ADORED how his character arc involved him stripping himself of these self-assigned titles because he actually has an identity that is all his own and he doesn’t NEED arbitrary titles to prove his worth because HE HAS IT IN HIMSELF. not to self-plug or anything, but that’s ssoss!fitzroy’s WHOLE SHIT. I’VE ALREADY BEEN ON THIS TRAIN, BITCH, AND TO KNOW I GOT IT SO RIGHT...GOD. FEELS GOOD. 

but also, i just really enjoy how his ending went in general. the fact that he doesn’t really know what he wants to do, so he just...does stuff he likes to do? that’s so good! because, if you remember, fitzroy had a Very set schedule of life events when the campaign started. he was going to get his wiggenstaffs degree, go back knight school, get his knight school degree, and then go to goodcastle. but all of that was based on a very limited understanding of himself. 

fitzroy’s character arc has primarily focused finding himself, specifically in terms of identity. for someone who was bullied for his past, the present formation of himself was Extremely important to fitzroy. he thought that shutting out his past and taking on this grandiose title of knighthood would make him something more than himself. he would no longer be fitzroy; the poor, country kid trying to make it in a big world. he’d be Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt; respected, honored, revered, with a title to prove it. 

he explains to fauxronymous (pre-reveal grey) that the reason he wanted to be a knight was because he wanted to assist in doing good. morally good. fitzroy has Always had a very clear sense of his morality; this comes through when he refuses Chaos on the basis of many people having to die if he agreed. but being a knight also had the added of bonus of a very respectable title that no one would want to look beyond, which fitzroy felt he needed because...i don’t think he Saw anything beyond that. in himself. he wasn’t himself for a very long time, and i don’t know if he ever thought he would be again. he’d wear this new identity, start a new life, and be happier....he hoped. 

then, things changed! and he started to realize that arbitrary titles don’t do shit because plenty of people with Big Important Titles ended up being Awful People! so he started to value himself For Himself; his wit, his humor, his strength, his magical prowess. and, i think, he started to wonder what knighthood was Really about. was it about upholding a moral good? or was it just another bureaucracy filled with people who won’t do shit when things get bad. 

i think this is why him becoming a lawyer is fitting. especially because of the reasoning he gives sylvia nite. now for A LOT OF PEOPLE, i’m sure they hear lawyer and assume some corporate hotshot who doesn’t give a shit about people. but fitzroy is Not applying to be a corporate laywer. he SPECIFICALLY telsl sylvia that he wants to help people who cannot help themselves, and he wants to do good in that way. THAT kind of lawyer is more of the pro-bono, district lawyer. the ones that don’t make crazy amounts of cash, but help those who cannot afford lawyers and represent them when the government is fucking them over. those lawyers don’t rely on title, they rely on principle. 

that’s the perfect representation of fitzroy’s growth. holding his identity within himself, while still trying to do good by those who need it. 

firbolg (aka gary) 

i think the firbolg’s ending is so unique but so...right for him. his character arc has really been focused around finding his family. he had one, in the beginning, in his clan. but that didn’t end up, y’know...working out that much. so he had to go out into the world alone--something that firbolg’s are rarely--and try and navigate these foreign spaces all by himself. 

we see very early on how he latches onto the idea of groups. he likes being considered a part of the thundermen; he very much hoists himself upon the CFO title and wears it proudly. i think, where fitzroy needed to find identity within himself, the firbolg needed to find it within other people. which is completely okay! he’s still an individual, but you can tell he finds comfort in numbers because that’s what he is used to. 

him going back to his clan was, i believe, his finally severance with his identity as “firbolg”. he would never be welcomed back to his clan, and one of the few people in his life who supported him was now dead. but his father was proud of him; his father was happy he seemed to find his own clan, even if it wasn’t with other firbolgs. from that moment on, i think the firbolg begins to try finding himself within the thundermen. within his friends.

so his epilogue is neat! it definitely captures the loneliness he feels on his own, and how he feels lost with himself without others. i think it might seem silly to some that he would become a gary, but i think it’s fitting. the garys were always present in his time at school, and they were always helpful. they didn’t mind how long it took him to talk because the gary’s are stone gargoyles--what the fuck do they care about time? it was a group that the firbolg saw as familiar to him--always willing to help, slow, stony, and attuned to a larger group. 

and i think the way gary takes this idea of unity and family and puts it into financial assistance just...it just ties everything together! we saw how attached he got to the concept of finances, thanks to his very confusing accounting class. so he had all of this new knowledge--this knowledge that represented a separation from firbolgs--and this new clan. and he used it to help other clans and families!! i think the fact that the Garys financial advice works specifically with groups is what makes this so fitting. because gary wants families to feel stable within themselves; he understands how finances can create struggle and divides, and he wants to provide relief. 

giving financial advice to communities so they rely on themselves and not the government (aka inviting them to be controlled once more) is a VERY self-reliant concept. not that i think gary’s goal is to have no social networks to exist, but he wants to give communities the ability to rely on one another and foster that feeling of togetherness. so groups aren’t fighting over things, but are trusting and loving and relying. 

just like gary’s always wanted. and just like what he has with the thundermen.

argo 

argo’s ending is probably the funniest, but also the sweetest. i think that argo’s character arc revolved around finding his place. we see how argo’s early personality and motivations revolved around his past. he very much had a revenge story since the start; he wanted to enact revenge on the commodore for murdering his mother, no matter what it took. which made him very limited!! in terms of the self. he saw himself less for what he was now, and what he was then. and what he couldn’t do then. 

we see how much he finds comfort in being a part of the thundermen, but also how he feels...out of place. i think this is because a part of him is still attached to his past and doesn’t think he can do anything beyond his set plan. the unbroken chain certainly contributes to this, by not only separating him from the trio but also reinforcing his connection to his past through his mother’s involvement in the unbroken chain. 

the commodore also being a part of the unbroken chain is, i think, what causes the shift from past to present within argo. his life’s goal is standing right in front of him--attached to the group his mother once was a part of--with his friends at his side. letting the thundermen in on his history is the start of bridging these two halves of argo. and the fact that the thundermen are so willing to helps makes argo feel more a part of the team and more a part of this reality. 

when he kills the commodore, it isn’t intense. it isn’t overly dramatic (minus the fight prior, which was BADASS), it isn’t crazily staged. it is argo, staring down the commodore who lies prone on the ground. 

he kills himself unceremoniously and completes his life-long mission. 

what becomes of him in the epilogue is the culimination of both past and present. he takes what he knows and loves (the sea, the mariah, sailing) and blends it with what he’s come to love now (his friends, this adventure, and making people happy). there are SO many instances where argo uses performance to his advantage. this man is piloted by clint mcelroy, of COURSE he’s going to have a flair for the dramatic. 

so for him to open up a themed cruiseline, based on the stories of him and his friends? SO FITTING. and it isn’t forcing himself to leave his past behind or to completely ignore his present circumstances. because he’s found a place in the now, in the merging of these two sides. and by merging them, he paints a bright future for himself. a future that is partially known, partially not. partially old, partially new.

but it’s all his. 

after that, i think their final scene is just...sweet. a nice, jovial, joking send-off to a nice season. it proves these people have grown and will continue to grow, even when we no longer see their story. it does exactly what graduation does--shows you a struggle, a triumph, and a glimpse into the future. 

i’ll miss it so much, but there’s nothing more i could’ve asked of this ending. it was exactly what it needed to be; nothing more, nothing less. 

[jrueships]

got any Kyle/demar thoughts? I’m looking to be in pain and scrolling through your masterpiece of a blog

AWWWW that's so nice of u to say! Thank u so much for enjoying my random spirals on this blog LMAO fr that's so sweet!!

NOW ABOUT... T H E M.

I have SOME kyle/demar thoughts but sadly like.. not a TON... which is weird because they're literally one of my top fav ships and the first ship I saw that really got me into sports tumblr LMAO. So it's not like I DONT think about it because I DO but I think they're just so popular with so many other supporters and analysts of their ship that it's like??? What thoughts can I have that a greater tumblr nba gay historian has already thought LMAO

BUT LIKE. I THINK ABOUT THEM NONETHELESS. My thoughts are just like?? Very plain to me tho idk!!! I hope u like them either way tho!!!!

So like.... uhh... you want sad!!! Hmm!! I can give that!! That's also what makes kyle/demar so great like... you can focus on the sad parts of their relationship if you want, the goofy, or the soft! It's a whole package deal of different emotions! BUT ANYWAYS UH

I'm SERIOUSLY not an astrology knowledge expert like FR I have no idea what a rising is or stuff so... u can take any mistakes I make in saying this with a grain of salt BUT

Demar is a Leo and like.. that just sticks out to me. I think most like??? Regular zodiac analysts like to think that ALL Leos are extroverted, selfish, comedic braggarts with a lot of pride because uhh?? It's a lion I guess? And lions are used to being the head of the pride so. King mentality but like... demar isn't like that. He's in that special category of leos that are generally super quiet, but like FLIP A SWITCH only when they're with a really trusted friend. As long as they're with people they trust enough and feel confident enough with, they're going to show a louder part of their personality! But ONLY if they're with the specific people they CHOSE to let see it... and that takes a lot of trust and time and love... and demar being so happy and having so many antics with Kyle just really exemplifies the amount of devotion he has for him. Those kinda leos and their relationships are just really beautiful to me because they're usually pretty cool with everyone, but they pick like ONE (or just a few) specific people to devote all their trust and care into because they truly believe that that person will give it back. They're an introvert who's willing to turn extrovert all for one person who they believe deserves to see it and wants to see it. It's a very special and deep relationship that often develops without them even knowing how tbh! They just know that they've made best friends with that person they chose and they're gonna stay best friends as long as they live and breathe.

Leos like that really Value their one special relationship.. they sometimes believe they'll never have another one like it and are therefore afraid of losing it... secretly, but powerfully, they get worried easily about the other person not devoting as much care into the relationship as them. About that one person who they chose to put above air, moving on like the friendship was merely another footnote in a book that bored them.

And at the start, that would have been easy for Kyle to do.

Kyle sets goals and he gets them quick. He's an Aries, and that probably means something but I don't know much about aries so. I'll leave it at that LMAO. Anyways... what I mean is that like? Just because Kyle is cute n small and kinda giggly (especially when he's with demar) DOESNT mean he can't be a stubborn, prickly, and determined asshole. He can put certain things aside for a purpose that he thinks is better. He put aside his hurt at the demar trade to work for a championship with kawhi. And like. Yeah. I personally think the best think about Aries is loyalty, which is why Leos and Aries make such great friends. Shared loyalty, with the Aries remaining loyal to whoever helped them soften up their stubborness to allow some?? Self like... soothing to themselves? Because Aries can sometimes put aside too much for something that it gets unhealthy... and the leos remaining loyal to whoever they believe deserve it.

what I mean is that he'll always be loyal to demar even though he's having all this fun with kawhi. Because Demar was the one who bent down and whispered that he was always going to be there with him, even after the fact that Kyle missed a shot that could've won them an advancement. He was the one who let Kyle know that it's going to be okay and he'll always be there for him. And knowing that really helped settle Kyle's persistent??? Running. I guess. Either toward or from something, I don't know and I don't think Kyle knows either but.. yeah. Demar was the one who let Kyle know that he has someone in his corner and he's not fighting for something all alone. And Kyle, this guy who makes sure not to devote himself Too much into things, to make sure he doesn't let himself enjoy something for too much or too long... let himself relax for Demar because Demar let him know that it was okay.

So he'll never forget Demar for that.

But despite that loyalty, I think Demar still worries. Worried about losing someone that he never thinks he'll ever find again all because he couldn't play basketball better. He's been traded for 'a real superstar that can actually lead the north', and here's kyle... laughing with the Real Superstar. Smiling with The Real Superstar. Possibly even having a better relationship with The Real Superstar that overshadows the one he had with Demar.

And that's scary. Because it's a selfish worry, to not want someone to enjoy something with someone else as much as they enjoyed it with you... but he can't help but (quietly) want that because he's afraid. And he's alone. And he feels like he's going to lose the one person he chose to keep with him forever.

And that's scary. Really, really scary.

[c-is-for-circinate]

I just read your thing about paladins and what they're for and holy CRAP does it sum up some stuff that I've been trying to explain for ages, so thank you for that! But now I'm wondering: your footnote mentioned Fjord and Vax'ildan, who both multiclassed into paladin as part of their personal character arc. Would you mind sharing your Thoughts about them? (And if you have any about the other paladins and how they fit in this - Arkhan or Kima or Kerrek or the rest - that would be awesome to see.)

You know I’m ALWAYS ready for a good CR character breakdown :D  And for shitting on classic Old School conceptions of what paladins should be, because a quick stroll through the tags has reminded me that, while many people play them very very well, the people who talk about How You’re Supposed To Play Paladins are often wrong as hell.  (This includes everybody who wrote 3rd edition d&d.)

I kind of want to start by talking about Kima and Kerrek, rather than Vax and Fjord, because Kima and Kerrek are in many ways two different angles on exactly what I think a paladin character should be.  Starting with the premise here that the paladin at its core is about turning ideals into actions, Kima and Kerrek are both awesome at exemplifying the class.

Kima is such a straightforward, action-oriented person.  Her belief in Bahamut and her belief in justice are inextricably entwined; she follows her god because she’s sure he’s right about what’s Good and Correct to see done in the world.  The ideals –> action pathway is easy and natural for her, because the necessity of taking action in pursuit of her ideals is very clearly one of her ideals.  She’s not in conflict with her vows, because she doesn’t need to be.  There’s evil in the world, and Bahamut wants her to smite it in the balls, and that’s both effective and fun.  (Of note, Kima doesn’t feel personally responsible for destroying every single minor evil ever to exist ever.  There’s plenty to go around.  Smite the monster in front of you, trust Bahamut to point you towards the thing that really needs killing, and don’t kill yourself over the petty grift of the guy in your favorite bar at the end of the day because yikes, dude, just yikes–that’s how Kima functions as a character, and it’s what makes her an actually functional character.)

Kerrek on the other hand is fascinating because he’s a paladin who thinks he’s lost his ideals, at least at the start.  At some unknown time in the past he tried to turn faith and belief (in something, and we never do find out what, and it doesn’t even matter) into change in the world.  He got some things done.  He utterly failed at some other things.  And now he’s sitting here in Westruun feeling like, maybe he can’t, maybe he shouldn’t, maybe everything is a thousand times more complicated and he’s a thousand times tinier in the universe than he ever envisioned when he was younger.  He’s sitting there thinking he’s lost his ideals and his drive and his faith–and meanwhile he’s still standing there taking action, doing what he can for the people of Westruun, planting his garden, being angry and disappointed and frustrated and still trying anyway.  In spite of himself, Kerrek still believes.  In spite of himself Kerrek still does the things he thinks need to be done, even if they’re not the things he wants to be doing, even if he doesn’t think he’ll do any good in the long run.  Such a good paladin thing to do.

Then we get to Fjord and Vax.  And so much of what makes Fjord and Vax interesting as paladins is, the ideals that compel them to action, compel them to take these paladin oaths, aren’t the ideals of their respective goddesses.

Vax did not wake up one day and say, ‘I believe in the Raven Queen and I believe that what she says is just and right and I will follow her because I believe in her so much’.  (He almost, almost got to that point with Sarenrae, circa the Briarwoods arc, and somewhere there is an alternate universe where he did and it is so interesting, but I digress.)  And Fjord didn’t really sit down and learn his way through the teachings of the Wildmother and decide, ‘y’know, yes, this is what I love and trust and want to spread in the world’.  That’s not the ideal that drove either of them to action.

Fuck, Vax didn’t even like the Raven Queen when he became hers.  “Take me instead, you raven bitch.”  Why does Vax become a paladin of the Raven Queen?  Because he promised.  Because he traded himself for his sister.  He believes to the depths of his soul in keeping Vex alive, and he believes in keeping his word.  The ideal driving Vax to action isn’t worship or admiration.  It’s the ideal of following through on his own goddamn commitments.

For Fjord, it’s similar, although a lot less fraught.  He doesn’t dislike Melora, certainly–everything he knows of her seems fine, but mostly he turns to her because he’s desperate for help and she seems willing to give it.  Fjord’s not great at big lofty ideals, but he is good at people, in his own way.  Turning to the Wildmother is about grabbing at the kindness she’s shown him.  It’s about grabbing at the kindness Caduceus has shown him.  These are the things he trusts.

And yet, Vax isn’t just a paladin to the oath of Keep Vex Alive.  Fjord isn’t just a paladin of Not U’kotoa.  They both have ideals, and they’re both doing their utmost to follow them here anyway.

For Fjord, being a paladin seems very transactional, yes (free me from this sea serpent and I’ll be your guy, sure), but there’s an enormous ethic of devotion and loyalty involved, coupled with, just like Kima had, a belief in the requirement for action.  Fjord believes that it is correct to repay kindness with deeds.  He doesn’t entirely understand what Melora wants of him, but she was kind to him in a vast wasteland where he slept unbroken sleep beneath her tree, and she has saved him when he wasn’t entirely sure he could be saved, and of course you repay that in kind.  At this point in the narrative, that intense loyalty is the driving ideal behind Fjord’s path as a paladin, and it’s really cool to see.

Vax could have run, when the Raven Queen came for him, and instead he went to Vasselheim.  He could have done a lot of things a lot of times.  The fact that he offered himself up in a fit of terror isn’t what made him a paladin–the fact that he followed through after that moment was over did.

Another really interesting thing about these paths is that perhaps the most major action our boys are compelled to take, in response to that loyalty, is simply, learn what the fuck you signed up for.  Having pledged themselves to these goddesses they are now responsible for figuring out what that even means.  There is no easy handbook for “this is what your goddess requires of you, break it and you’re Out On Your Ass”.  The Raven Queen asks Vax for extremely little, in the grand scheme of things.  He spends a lot of time fighting enemies he would have fought anyway with a little extra backup, and muddling along looking to Vasselheim and old books to figure out what she might want out of him.  Fjord’s still taking Caduceus-lessons and trying to figure out what comes next.

In the end it’s hard to even tell whether Vax comes to truly embrace her ideals of fate and finality as his own, or he just submits to them as part of who he thinks he has to be now.  That open question is super interesting to me, and I think it’s a really cool twist on the whole classic “paladins take these vows and then HAVE TO STICK TO THEM no matter WHAT” dynamic, where the big vow Vax made is, in fact, to be a paladin.  (Even the Oath of Vengeance is fascinating for him–the Raven Queen didn’t ask that path of him, Vax chose it.  He decided that was the right way for him to serve.)

I’m so curious to see where Fjord goes from here on his paladin journey.  Which of Melora’s ideals is he going to work to enact out of loyalty to her, because that’s the job he promised to do?  Which ideals will he actually understand and agree with in his own heart?  What oath is he going to take, I’m so fucking curious: Oath of Heroism makes a certain amount of sense but is also kind of self-aggrandizing, Devotion would be awesome for Fjord but also includes that absolute injunction towards honesty, I’m eternally a sucker for the Oath of Ancients and it would make sense for Melora but I’m not sure it’s correct here…

Anyway.  Tl;dr that Vax and Fjord are not, entirely, paladins to the ideals and domains of their respective goddesses–not yet.  They’re both paladins to the ideal of loyalty, which they’ve given to their respective goddesses, and that’s such an interesting option for the class.  It invites so much discussion about the difference between devotion to a deity as an individual, and devotion to what that deity actually stands for.  And I fucking love it.

[fruitlicense]

Why Mako and Bolin are initially (and arguably continually) shit at relationships

Okay, I’ll preface this by admitting that I love both Mako and Bolin. I know some of you absolutely hate Mako and while he did do some dumb shit, I don’t think we’re at the level where bemoaning the fact that he didn’t die violently is necessary. Is he problematic? Yeah, but he’s also redeemable, and a little thought about his and his brother’s backstory goes a long way to explaining why he was so shitty to begin with.

The big question is this: where did Mako and Bolin get their understandings of what a healthy romantic relationship should be?

1. Their Parents

Assuming that San and Naoki had a loving relationship, which I’m assuming they did because they look pretty happy in this (fuzzy, sorry) picture and also because of Yin’s description of what San’s letter home said (“It says he married a beautiful girl from the Fire Nation, and had two wonderful sons.”), they were Mako and Bolin’s first understanding of what a healthy romantic relationship should be.

As parents, San and Naoki should have exemplified and taught what was okay and what wasn’t. Unfortunately, they died when Mako was eight and Bolin was six - not really ages at which you’re gonna get into discussing the nuances of romance with your kids. They probably got the basic consent stuff that people see in day-to-day life (always ask before you just take something, share your toys, don’t handle other kids roughly, etc.) but I doubt they were taught much more than that. As for the stuff they learned from observing? Childhood memories can get hazy, and they were relatively young at the time. Chances are they didn’t understand much, since they just didn’t have the context for it.

2. Media???

This is an admittedly shaky point, but since they live in a society that has books, newspapers, radios, and (later) movers, Mako and Bolin probably picked some stuff up about romance just by living in the world. There are definitely some romance novels out there that probably shouldn’t be used to dish out romantic advice, as Jinora and Ikki proved in Book 1, Episode 5.

This is just a (fuzzy again, sorry) screenshot of the episode transcript from the Avatar wiki so you can get a more specific idea, but my point is, getting romantic advice from a book in the Avatar universe is about as helpful as it is in our world - it’s a toss-up whether or not you’re going to get something remotely useful. I can’t say for sure if Mako and Bolin had access to books and radio shows with romantic plotlines before the start of the show (apparently according to the wiki, Mako read some of Jinora’s books after he broke up with Korra, it’s in the trivia section), but it’s worth speculating to cover my bases.

3. The Triple Threat Triad

This is the big one, folks. If Mako and Bolin’s parents died too early to teach them about healthy romantic relationships and there’s no guarantee what they were able to pick up from the media... that means that Mako and Bolin spent their early teenage years learning everything there was to know about romance from the Triple Threat Triad.

I shouldn’t have to explain why Triad members are the literal worst people to learn any life lesson from (except maybe Ozai), but imagine this hypothetical situation: you are a thirteen-year-old boy with your first real crush, and the most approachable person you can go to for advice is a dude nicknamed Shady fucking Shin. No wonder Mako was a hopeless mess! Triad members seem like they’re predominately concerned with getting what they want (money, power, respect) and saving face, and none of that translates well to equal, respectful, honest, healthy romantic relationships. If you’re looking for people who’d condone or even encourage cheating on a partner, lying to a partner, and/or leading a romantic interest on (not to mention writing off women as crazy fangirls or potential girlfriends you can weigh the benefits of and pick as favorites), an organized crime syndicate will probably turn someone up. I don’t think that Mako necessarily believed in that stuff, but I think he internalized some of those examples, and when you throw the kid into a pile of emotional turmoil, he’s going to fall back on the stuff he knows, which in this case was some profoundly shitty stuff.

The Triad bullshit would probably also explain Bolin’s flawed flirting tactics - assuming that every girl you meet is into you (Korra, Ginger) and whatever weird exaggerated stuff was going on in the very beginning of his relationship with Opal (before she called him out on it) seem like things an impressionable kid might have picked up from some not-so-great role models. Luckily for Bolin, it seems like he did eventually understand why that stuff wasn’t cool and made an effort to stop. He’s a good kid at heart.

4. Other Pro-benders

We can hope that maybe Toza or another bending mentor got Mako and Bolin back on the right track once they started living at the pro-bending arena, but honestly, we don’t have much information on how connected they were to other pro-benders. We do know that they were in pretty deep with the Triple Threats, since Mako was learning lightning techniques from their leader.

My overall point is this: Mako and Bolin - but especially Mako - made some shitty mistakes regarding romantic relationships. I don’t condone their actions, but I can see how they might have picked up those bad habits from the few role models they had in their lives - especially since they’re only eighteen and sixteen at the beginning of the show (eighteen-year-olds and sixteen-year-olds are incredibly stupid. not many people are at their best in high school). I’m not asking anyone to forgive characters they don’t want to forgive or suddenly switch their stances on who they hate and who they don’t, but I do think that context can explain why good characters do shitty things and give them a chance to at least be redeemable.

I’m not trying to start any arguments either, just throwing some ideas out there.

-

A final quick aside: when San and Naoki died, Mako took on the role of “parent” for Bolin, which led to Mako becoming reliant on a sense of control. This isn’t super relevant to my overarching point here, but I wanted to mention it somewhere since it does provide some explanation (NOT justification) for Mako’s constant need to be in control and how that influenced his actions.

[duhragonball]

fugo for the character ask

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Of the Part 5 cast, Fugo probably best exemplifies that these kids really shouldn’t be in this sort of life, and they’re only in it because they have nowhere else to go.   Fugo has issues, and Passione isn’t going to solve those issues.   I’m not convinced that Passione can really exploit Fugo very well, either, since his Stand is so dangerous.   I suspect that if Giorno hadn’t come along, Fugo would have eventually been promoted to the Boss’s “elite guard” or whatever they called all the really dangerous Stand Users that he only used when he didn’t care about the collateral damage.   Purple Haze was a bomb, and I think the gang kept Fugo around just in case they needed a bomb, or to ensure that he didn’t fall into the hands of their enemies.  

But Buccirati saw value in him as a person, and he probably believed that he could bring his Stand under control at some point.  I’m sure Bruno took pity on the boy, but he’s no dummy.   This is a kid with a genius-level IQ.    Even without Purple Haze, he’s an asset to any team he’s on.   His university didn’t understand that, his own family didn’t understand that, but Buccirati did.    Help the kid figure out the Stand, and he’d be unstoppable.   

And I think Fugo could have done this eventually.   I just got done writing about Broly, the poster child for raving lunatics in anime.   I can’t see Broly taking the time to tutor someone in math.    Yeah, he stabbed Narancia with a fork, but before that, he was patient enough to start the tutoring process, and he’d been doing it for a while before that scene.  

I maintain that this was why he didn’t get on the boat when the time came.   Fugo’s just far enough along with his anger management that he’s afraid of what might happen if he loses his cool.   By that point, the nature of their mission had become much more dangerous, and if he joined them and things got out of hand, he’d have to risk using his Stand in close quarters... or risk not using it, and getting the others killed either way.    Purple Haze has sort of frightened him into being very self-aware of his emotions.    It’s not an ideal solution for his issues, but it’s gotten him started on a path to getting himself under control. 

Why I don’t: When I first read Part 5, Fugo mostly frustrated me because there were too many damn boys on the team, and he looks just enough like Giorno to be confusing.   On subsequent readings/viewings, that’s not been a problem at all.   There is a certain frustration with him just sort of dropping out of the story without a proper sendoff, but that’s added to the character’s mystique (see also: Launch).  

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’ll go with the part where Trish wipes her hands on his jacket.     Again, if he really couldn’t control himself, he’d be reacting much more violently, but he manages to contain himself for the sake of the mission and the team.  

Favorite season/movie: I dunno, JoJo parts don’t really lend well to this format.    Let’s just say Part 5, as opposed to Purple Haze Feedback, which I haven’t read.

Favorite line: I didn’t really have one, so I went trawling for clips on YouTube and came across this one from his origin scene:

“Please don’t pity me.   I don’t think of myself as unfortunate.”

I never really thought of Fugo as a beacon of positivity, but for him to say this while disowned, expelled, and reduced to stealing food... He still seems to like his chances.    I think this more than anything was what made Bucciarati decide he was a guy he wanted on his team.

Favorite outfit: I guess I like the red suit better than the lime green one, but his refusal to wear purple infuriates me.      Just... just wear something purple.    It would make so much sense.  Just do it.  

OTP: I dunno, lol.

Brotp: Narancia, clearly.   Post Part 5, uh... still Narancia, because nothing bad happens.   Yeahthat’stheticket.    Sometimes Fugo hangs out with Mista, and they remember all the bad stuff that didn’t happen.

Head Canon: Trish helped him get Purple Haze under control.   I figure it like this, his Stand won’t work on her in broad daylight, and he sure ain’t stabbing her with a fork unless he wants to get stabbed right back, so he kind of has to learn some self-control around her.    

Unpopular opinion: I don’t know what the popular opinions about Fugo are.  

A wish: Dude needs to patch all those holes in his suit.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: They make the big announcement in 2021... they’re finally doing an animation of.... Purple Haze Feedback.    Look, I’m sorry, Sarah, I know you like Fugo and all, but I would throw him off a cliff just for thirty seconds of a Part 6 anime.    There’s an alligator puppet in it and everything.   

5 words to best describe them: Angry Holey Purple Cootie Lad.

My nickname for them: I don’t think I have one.

[a-random-fangirls-stuff]

Flirting with Social Anxiety | Sanders Asides

(WARNING: SPOILERS FOR “FLIRTING WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY” i mean, i put the video i think you already know that but still...just go watch it, it’s really cool) (P.S: I would be tagging all my posts and reblogs with “ts spoilers” and “sanders sides spoilers” so you can block or silence the tags and avoid getting spoiled)

FIRST OF ALL, thanks to the amazing artist that helped in the making of this video, you can go to the description of the video and visit their social media to support them and say thank you.

I want to start saying that this is the most relatable episode for me. I want to clarify, i haven’t been diagnosed with any anxiety disorder but i do suffer from really high levels of social anxiety, so you can guess that flirting is not my strong suit.

Besides that, I think it's really good that Thomas made an episode about this because being nervous (or in this case, anxious) about dates it's usually seen in woman, so I think it’s a good example to younger boys, telling them that is okay to not feel confident in every moment related to dating, because not everyone feels confident, especially if you some type of anxiety.

Now, to the ACTUAL episode:

The fact that Virgil and Roman were the ones with Thomas without the other, it’s a really interesting dynamic since most people see them as opposites even when they can end up making Thomas do the same thing, just in a different way or for different reasons, like how we can see Virgil making Thomas go talk with Nico after he and Roman already felt defeated.

I want to see more about how Virgil affects Romans plans, since it’s pretty common for people with anxiety to sometimes let it affect their dreams or inspirations but not in a way that it’s so direct that you can feel that you're not letting yourself keep doing what you want to do.

I think this was a really good episode that could be used to exemplify how social anxiety feels, the constant comments about every single little thing that could go wrong, everything you did and how its was wrong, the contradiction between actions and thoughts, and mainly, the feeling of regret that follows almost every actions that didn’t went how i wanted.

The whole situation with the pins and the stickers was just really hilarious, and yes, gay eyes are a thing, but also yes, they don’t always work.

Besides the actual debate between Thomas, Virgil and Roman, the interactions with Nico were just both the cutest and the awkwardest thing ever, i really like them, ngl.

The monologue in the bathroom was both hilarious and really sad after Thomas felt awkward and left, it was such an important thing for Thomas, because it meant that he was going to be sincere with his feelings and actions, even if he didn’t completely want to acknowledge, so it hurt in a different way. Also Vrigil making him extremely anxious and guilty is such a common experience for me that I couldn't feel worse for him.

But something really...unexpected, was seeing Virgil pushing Thomas to go talk to Nico, even if it was part of his fight or flight reflex and not because of bravery or any reason Roman had. In the end I think it was a good way to show that Virgil doesn’t want Thomas to never interact with people, he's just his reflexes and self preservation.

The post-credit scene was just the cutest part of the episode, I think it was a cute detail that Virgl made Thomas do a bunch stuff just because of all the emotions caused by the good interactions with Nico, it’s good to show that just because some actitions are caused by anxiety doesn’t mean that they’re bad themselves or that they are always hurtful.

ALSO, AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SAW VIRGIL EYESHADOW A LIL PINK? Because it absolutely destroyed me.

But even when the post-credit scene was really cute, I think that a lot of us saw how start to date or starting a relationship is still kind of a sensitive topic of Thomas and the Sides, especially when we see Virgil being kinda bumped down after Thomas and Roman start discussing it. So it’s my prediction that the next episode (or other episode that comes out after this one) will be about how Virgil causes Thomas to be anxious when talking or deciding things related  to his love life, I think it would be kind of a way to protect Thomas for a potential break up, since we saw that the last one he suffered was really hurtful, and it would be the other Sides job to calm him down and see that he has to take some risks even if it means that he can get hurt.

Finally, I want to say thank you to all the people that helped to make this episode posible, especially taking into account the present circumstances.

So a big thank you to Erin, Alex and Brei for doing this amazing animatic that made it possible to make the actual episode.

Thank you to Joan, Quil, Manny, Davi, Leo, Dhalia, AJ for giving their voices for the animatic.

Thank you to Lev for the amazing thumbnail

And the biggest thank you to Joan and Thomas for scripting this amazing episode, your hard work it's really appreciated.

And that would be all the comments I have about the episode right now but I will be thinking more about it and posting any other thoughts that I have about it.

[relanah-qahs]

I’VE GOT YOU

Whumptober 2020 no.7  Title: I’ve Got You Fandom: Final Fantasy VII Prompt: Support| Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker Rating: T, Characters: Elena, Tseng, Vincent Words: 1586

Tags: Hurt/Comfort

AO3 Link   Summary: Tseng and Elena are rescued by Vincent Valentine in the Forgotten City. Tseng has something to confess to Elena.

Elena felt herself calming down as the cooling effect of the healing spell washed over her injuries, both external and internal. The crimson-cloaked man was focusing his concentration onto the Full Cure materia that he pressed lightly against her temple. It was an impressive feat, Elena had to admit, to concentrate his energy to a powerful restorative spell through a larger organic materia. And he managed to perform this spell not just once on her but also on Tseng’s gunshot wounds. Even experts of materia and magic would have trouble performing even one Full Cure spell, it required a far greater amount of magic potential than what most humans could possess.

Perhaps he wasn’t human. His red eyes, deathly pale skin, and long black hair made him downright unsettling to look at. Elena’s mind was admittedly still in a fog, but she could have sworn that this man seemed to shape-shift from the red phantom that had carried them to the safety of this ancient house.

“You don’t need to scowl like that,” said the stranger, his voice deep yet soft. “Just trying to help you.” He tucked the materia into the slot of his armband, next to a pink ribbon that seemed out of place with the rest of his outfit.

“What are you?” said Elena. Her fear was subsiding along with the pain, yet she was still cautious.

The man made a noise which may have been a short chuckle, though it sounded more like what a monster trying to mimic human laughter would sound like. “What indeed. A lab rat, a freak show, an undead abomination, a disgruntled ex-Shinra employee; all of those are true to some extent, so take your pick.”

“Ex-Shinra employee? Well, with everything else you said, that just raises more questions than answers.”

“Don’t feel like answering.” He leaned back into his chair.

“Oh come on! You can’t just say shocking stuff like that and just expect me to accept it. How do I know you really want to help anyway? How do I know you’re not one of those Jenova freaks and you’re just waiting to torture us some more?”

He shrugged. “Why would I go through all the trouble of saving you if I was allied with Kadaj’s gang? I can assure you we have the same goals. We both want to put an end to the madness plaguing this planet, Elena.”

Elena’s head shot up while she clenched her fist tightly, instinctively ready for a protective stance. “Why do you know my name?”   “Sorry. Guess it’s time to tell you. For the past year or so I’ve been trailing the current Turks trying to gather information about geostigma alongside you. Don’t worry, he knows.” He nodded his head toward the bed. Tseng was laid upon it, still unconscious but seeming to sleep soundly now that his wound was mended. He was sickly pale, a sign of the massive blood loss he had suffered from the gunshot to the artery in his leg.

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head. What was going on? Who was this guy and why did Tseng allow him to follow her? “Who are you? And what do you mean by ‘current Turks?’”

“Vincent. By current Turks, I mean you and Tseng as well as the other two men who are still loyal to the son of the late President Shinra.” Vincent paused for a moment, allowing Elena to process his words. “Elena, how long have you considered yourself a Turk?”

“Well, I was hired after Sector 7 was destroyed. So I guess it’s been a little over two and a half years now.”

“And why, after everything you have been through, everything you’ve seen, do you still pledge your life and loyalty to a company that’s in ruins?”

Elena opened her mouth to protest but found she couldn’t find the words. Who did this Vincent guy think he was to ask something like that? What gave him the right? Why did Tseng let him follow her? How could he possibly understand?

But still, his question burned through her mind. Why was she still so loyal to Shinra? Even after all the harm and pain they had caused the Planet and her people? After they had nearly destroyed the lifestream out of greed? Why did she continue to dedicate her entire life to the Turks even in spite of her complicated history with them and her family?

Because we are trying to fix the mistakes of the past. Because I believe Rufus and the Turks are capable of rebuilding this world. Because Dad and Emma are gone, and Tseng, Reno, and Rude are my family now. Because without them, I wouldn’t have a home to go to. Wherever they are, that is where my home is. Because together, we are going to stop this madness and save this Planet.

“Don’t feel like answering you,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows.

Vincent showed a hint of a half-smile behind his cowl. “Fair enough.”

They sat in silence. Elena focused her attention on Tseng. He was still sound asleep, some of the color had returned to his cheeks. The Full Cure spell was running its course through his body.

“Will he be okay?” she asked, fighting to control the shaking in her voice.

Vincent shrugged, “Don’t know. You should really consider getting some rest yourself. I’ll keep watch, so you don’t need to worry about intruders.”

A slight groan came from Tseng, slowly returning to consciousness.

“Tseng!” Elena whispered. She stood beside the bed and placed her hand on his shoulder.

Tseng blinked, taking in the sight of the ancient room. His eyes met Elena’s and he took a deep breath. “Elena,” he said, his voice hoarse and brittle. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Way better than you, that’s for sure.” She tried to force a smile, trying desperately to take the attention off herself. She didn’t want to be reminded of what that silver-haired freak had done to her.

Tseng looked past Elena, making eye contact with Vincent. “Surprised to see you here.”

“I was just stopping by and happened to see you getting roughed up,” said Vincent. Elena was surprised at his humor and casual speech.

“Thank gods you got there when you did. Thank you, Vincent.”

Elena pulled her hand back to herself and looked away from Tseng in shame. “Tseng, I’m sorry. I was too weak and I couldn’t fight back. And you got hurt because of me…” She dared not show any emotion in her voice. She was truly sorry, and she really did believe it was her fault Tseng was hurt and that danger was now headed towards their friends.

“Elena, stop.” Tseng reached and pulled Elena’s hand back to him, his grip tight. He spoke quietly through his heightened emotions and labored breathing. “You did nothing wrong. You did everything you could.”

“Going to check outside,” said Vincent as he stood up and walked to the door. “Shout if you need anything.” He left the two Turks alone in silence.

Tseng gripped Elena’s hand tightly over his heart. He stared into her eyes, trying to find the words and the strength to say what he needed.

He sighed. “Elena, you are an excellent Turk, and you always were. Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you? Well now you know.”

Elena lowered her gaze. Tseng had never complimented her before, she felt pride but also unease at his honesty.

He continued speaking through shaking breaths and fighting through the pain. “Back there, I thought it was all over. I was afraid. I didn’t want to die alone. But you helped ease my fear. And there was so much I wanted to say to you. I realized I never showed you my appreciation for being with me since Meteorfall. I wanted to thank you for everything. And I wanted to apologize to you for hurting you so much over the years. “We Turks traded our humanity for the job. Our souls belonged to the company. Stoic professionalism is what we strived for. And you exemplified all the strengths of the perfect Turk. But Elena, I think we let it consume you. Shinra is gone. It’s never going to be rebuilt and it’s time we accepted that. If I make it out of here alive, I’m going to reclaim my humanity. I want to show my soul, my true self. I want to tell the others how much I love them. “And Elena, I hope you can cast away your Turk identity. I want to know the real you.”

Elena felt tears stinging her eyes, but turned her head away so he couldn’t see. How could Tseng hide this side of him all this time?

“Tseng, I...I don’t know what to say.” Her voice was shaking now, almost on the verge of breaking all her barriers.

“If I survive this, I hope you can stay by my side.”

And with that earnest request, all of Elena’s barriers were destroyed at once. Sobs escaped her throat and the tears burst from her sore eyes. It was as if she was finally crying for everything she had repressed for the past few years. All the trauma, the heartbreak, the grief--everything was flooding out now. She buried her face in his chest. Tseng wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair.

“Tseng, of course you will survive this. Of course I’ll stay with you, you dumbass!”

[8bitsupervillain]

End of the Year pt. 3

Games of the year for 2020!

Ghostrunner. I mentioned it before but I only heard about this game because of some post calling attention to it when Cyberpunk got delayed. If it weren't for that bit of serendipity I think this game probably would've just flown past my radar (like so many others). The general gameplay is phenomenal, the movement and combat feels exceptional. Wall running and slicing through generic mooks is an utter joy to do, and when the game gives you the grappling hook the sheer joy of the game skyrockets. Some of the options the game gives you for actions outside combat are kind of a dud, and when it introduces giant enemy robots the game takes a bit of a nosedive. But by and large the game is well worth playing.

Crusader Kings III. I don't really mess around with the 4X games, I don't have the patience to wrap my head around what they want me to do. But I found myself really enjoying this, I like trying to use the political aspect to destroy other factions. It's a really fun mess around game, even if I do usually make disastrous choices that results in my entire lineage being assassinated.

Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise. First things first, this game is absolutely terrible to play. It is constantly falling apart, and if you play it for longer than two to three hours at a time it will just start dying. The framerate almost never hits a consistent thirty and dips frequently, and if you put the Switch in rest mode without closing the game it will horribly desync every single cutscene until you close the game. That said I can't help but love this game, but that is almost entirely because of the story in the game. This is without a doubt one of the best written games to come out last year, and is a deeply enthralling narrative. It also provides some small nods to D4 which I appreciated since that game will never get finished. If you like the first Deadly Premonition you'll most likely enjoy what DP2 does, just be aware that it will be a deeply flawed experience actually playing the game. I really wouldn't blame anyone who just watched the story bits on the internet instead of actually playing the game. This was my fourth most played game on the switch last year apparently.

Helltaker. I liked the puzzles, and the designs for the demons. Pandemonica is the best girl.

Resident Evil 3 Remake. I played this game to completion eleven times. I have hundred percented it on two different systems. If you're one of those who thinks every game has to be a minimum of twelve hours to get the value out of your games you'll probably hate this. I love it because I love trying to get my runs in this game below one hour. The game is noticeably shorter than Resident Evil 2 remake, and has a lot less to offer, but I still love this game. I find the gameplay to be immensely satisfying even if I find it to be a bit of a slog playing it on the hardest difficulties.

Granblue Fantasy Versus. It's fun. I really wish the online was livelier than it is, but that's just how it goes sometimes I guess. It has one of the best rosters of characters of any fighting game I've played, and is very gratifying to play. I like the pseudo beat em up mode that it offers even if it is sort of basic. This might sound really lame but really I just like the fact that there's an actual game of Granblue to play. Even if it is a mostly dead fighting game.

Spelunky 2. I really didn't know how they were going to make a sequel to Spelunky. How do you improve on a game that is fundamentally perfect? Turns out you just crank the difficulty up past any reasonable expectation and include multiple new and inventive ways to ensure your players death. Even if some of the backpacks are provably weaker than the jetpack I appreciate the game offering the power pack that makes your bombs bigger and gives you a fire whip even if it does nothing else. I also really like the branching paths they give you, so you're not just running the same four environments over and over. Now you can choose two different paths so you can run at bare minimum EIGHT environs repeatedly. The metal shield is a godsend when you decide to engage in a life of crime because of how the bullets just bounce off it taking care of violent shopkeepers. I love this game even if I hate it so much.

Final Fantasy VII Remake. I really didn't expect this game to be as great as it was. I went in with relatively low expectations but came away absolutely in love with everything that it had to offer me storywise. This really just snuck up on me as being one of the absolute games I had played this year. The four characters that make up the party are some of the best written and were utterly delightful. Most of the other characters are similarly well-written taking some of the extremely minor characters from the original FF7 and making them stand out as great characters. No more is this well exemplified than with the villains of the Shinra Electric Company. Every single one of them are great in how loathsome they are (except for maybe Palmer, but that's only because he only shows up like once in the entire game, and Reeve because he isn't hateful, but he is written really well). This game ends perhaps the absolute strongest I have ever seen a game end, as soon as those credits hit I knew I was in this for the long haul. I love every single remix and new versions of the songs from FF7, they are an absolute delight and I cannot wait to hear what the new versions of some of the stuff from later in the original will sound like. There are a couple of lame duck moments in terms of gameplay, but for the most part this was a really solid game throughout and I can't wait for 7-2 and so on.

Nioh 2. Love it! I positively love the combat in this game, it is one of the most satisfying games I played all last year. The difficulty I feel ramps up especially well, and never really comes across as spiteful or going to far with the jumps in difficulty. I like how the game is both a prequel and sequel to the original Nioh with the bulk of the action taking place prior to Bill Nioh's wild Japan Adventure. I adore the non-human enemies in this game especially some of the wilder ones they introduce in the late game. If you liked the first Nioh you'll definitely enjoy Nioh 2. I wonder if they're going to do a Nioh 3, or move on to a different type of action game from here? A new Ninja Gaiden would be cool, especially since the DLC in Nioh 1 had a reference to the Hayabusa clan, and Nioh 2 has some moves from Ninja Gaiden. I love the new weapons they added to this, the switch-glaive and the claws they added in the second DLC are just lovely weapons to use.

Doom Eternal. I adore this game so much. It is just positively thrilling to play from beginning to end, this is game is positively brutal to play through and I LOVE it to pieces. I've played through the campaign three times, twice on console, and when I got a computer that could handle it I played through the campaign and the DLC that's available there (I also bought it twice on PC because I mistakenly bought the Bethesda launcher version). The gameplay is unbelievably solid throughout the entire campaign, add in to that the sheer delight that is running through levels with cheat codes and this game stands as the best example of games this year. When I thought the game couldn't possibly get any harder the game then entices you to play the remixed levels that change enemy placements and in multiple cases replaces them with some of the end-game enemies that will positively destroy you. Then there's the DLC: The Ancient Gods part 1, which at the time when it came out I hadn't played Doom Eternal in a couple of months so I was a bit rusty so the game made sure to punish me for that. It is absolutely brutal and assumes you just recently finished the campaign because it starts at the level of the last level of the game and gets harder from there. The combat across the base game and the DLC is honestly among some of the best I have ever played.

[botherkupo]

Avatar, Zutara, Iroh. :D

I’ve already answered the AtLA and Zutara one, but can do Iroh! :)

How I feel about this character:

Iroh is such a wonderful character. He is one of my favs and I am so happy he is part of the atla world. This guy really epitomises a big message of the show. He’s renowned for being this badass general who breached the walls of Ba Sing Se. He was Azulon’s favourite (and that guy was a whole basket of crazy, so I do think Iroh was ruthless during his war campaigns.) He was one of the “bad guys”, and he was good at it. I mean he thought his destiny was to conquer Ba Sing Se.

But then he loses his son and his sense of purpose with it. He changes. And we’re not talking a small change like ‘oh, guess I’ll just go retire now”. He joins a secret society and actively works to repair the damage he has helped cause the world. He exemplifies only drawing the sword (or in this case fire) when needed. He becomes a fighter for peace, not glory. Iroh is just such a cool dude (and wise and funny), and it helps he also mentors and tries to guide Zuko into doing the right thing. (argue about his methods all you like, but Iroh still made a huge difference in Zuko’s life because he lived what he preached.)

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: IrohxTea. (I honestly have no idea. I mean you could pair him with Aunt Wu and I’d be happy. Or Yugoda.)

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Iroh and Zuko. They crack me up, but they also pull at my heartstrings. I have many feelings for them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Iroh wasn’t a bad guy to not ‘try as hard with Azula’ or warn Zuko against not trusting her. He didn’t say ‘hey, we should kill your sister’, he said ‘she’s crazy and she needs to go down.” And Azula was dangerous. Add in that horrible she stuff she said to him (and about him), and yeah I really don’t fault Iroh for not wanting to take Azula under his wing. Not everyone likes to be a punching bag for someone who shows no remorse or shred of empathy for the loss of Lu Ten. (I like Azula, but this is just one of those “ehhh no” things for me. She’s not a nice niece, regardless of how she truly feels inside.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I hated what LoK did with him. Truly, truly hated. Why would Iroh choose to hang out with spirits forever when he could have been reunited with his son? Big  Wtf. So I wish they’d just let Iroh die in peace and move on.

Favorite friendship for this character: Iroh and Toph. It’s sweet.

My crossover ship: Ermm ... i dunno. 

[cards-onthetable]

An Elusive Computer Post

Y’all, 99.999% of the time, I exist on my phone and tablet. It’s very rare that I do any Fandom Stuff or social media on my laptop. But tonight, after This Episode, I had to break out the big guns. I need to be able to type as fast as my brain screams words. tl;dr: EVERYTHING IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. Hey I’ll do a fun little page break so you don’t have to scroll past this whole thing if you don’t want to. How nice of me. 

Erin

OPENING SCENE AND ERIN’S ALREADY YELLING AT PEOPLE. COOL. 

JUST DON’T with this foster parent (allegedly) killing a foster child thing. Foster parents have enough of a negative perception as it is... a foster parent who “cracked” and killed a child in her care certainly won’t help. And I know this won’t turn into a well-done, thoughtful Discourse on the lack of support and resources for foster parents who are caring for children with complex needs. So I hate it. 

I’m so, so, so sad for this child.

Sidenote re: Sam saying “I’ve already got a mom” (explaining why he didn’t call his foster parent “mom”) - okay, BB, one actual sensitive portrayal here, thumbs up. 

Welp Erin’s boss is an asshole but so’s everyone else on this show. What else is new? 

And now Sam is locked out of his new foster home. Another nice tally in the Negative Portrayal column. This is disgusting. His appreciation for his previous foster parent is obvious (this kid’s a ten times better actor than fucking Will “Dead Face” Estes at this point) and I hate this entire concept. At least the show’s portrayal of the child in foster care himself is positive. 

Now Sam’s at Anthony’s house and this is off topic, but for half a second can we appreciate that Sam is also a bajillion times better at apologies than Jamie Reagan? Nice. 

If Anthony becomes Sam’s foster parent I will be SO ANNOYED. One, because I’m sure the show won’t even hint at an accurate process - it’ll be insta-parent, Anthony walks into some caseworker’s office and walks out with physical custody of a child (fun fact: it takes three months or longer to get licensed as a foster parent). Two, because it’s kind of another blow to the reputation of foster parents that this episode is painting - like the only suitable foster parent in a whole city of veteran, trained, experienced FPs is this newbie? This does not taste good. 

This is a cute scene. Rather than Anthony being Sam’s foster parent, how about he becomes his mentor? 

OH. NICE. EXACTLY WHAT I DIDN’T WANT. “I’m going to sign the papers later today. I’m going to foster Sam myself.” Can we please get some follow-up on this, BB? Let’s please see Anthony trying to navigate the waters of parenting a teenager who likely has attachment-related diagnoses and other challenges. Is Anthony going to get trauma-informed care training? Or is he just going to wing it and hope that it’s all magical and swell? Does he have a sensitive, non-snarky bone in his body? I’m on the edge of my seat. (LOL @ Erin being the voice of reason here.)

OH. WHOA WHOA WHOA. “It’s not like I always wanted a son, but one came knocking and I answered the door.” Remember that line above where Sam reminded us that he has a mom? Do you understand why this line made me gag? There’s a fine line you walk as a foster parent, where you’re performing all the duties of parenting this child as if they’re your own - but you have to remember and be sensitive to the fact that they’re not. Kids in foster care are a package deal, yo, they come with a whole other family too. For teenagers this is an especially important Issue. 

This entire storyline was terrible. 0/10. 

Fat Shaming (Frank and co)

Poor Witten, you guys. That is awful and terrible and dangerous that her partner can’t even make it up 4 flights of stairs. “I’m here and you’re fine” - but what if she wasn’t? 

Did Sid Gormley just use the word “fat shaming” and argue that physical fitness does not affect a cop’s ability to do their job? 

Cops who are on the beat should be able to pass a fairly high standard for physical fitness. The end, basically.

Family dinner (tossed in here due to the topic of conversation): Seriously? Henry’s going to talk about it being discrimination to require cops to meet a physical fitness standard that is a pretty basic aspect of their ability to do their job? Nice. 

Oh, magical, Frank has come up with a Compromise that Makes Everybody Happy. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. 

Danny

TBH I hardly noticed this storyline at all. I’m much too busy angrily scribbling all of the examples of Dismissive Jamie on my whiteboard. Oh well, win some lose some. 

Jamko

The way Jamie brushes Eddie off during this whole New Partner Discussion is gross. Refer to yesterday’s Two Pronged Complaint for the details. 

The Biggest Issues: Jamie minimizing Eddie’s experience on the job, and being too protective of her/failing to be an objective boss. Et cetera. 

“wHaT eLsE dOn’T I kNoW?” suck a dick, Jamie Reagan.  

Peep those obviously empty coffee cups that probably have a piece of dry ice at the bottom to make the “steam.” A+. 

I’m going to keep track of how many times “female empowerment” is said in this episode. I’ll keep you updated. 

So this “fraternal organization” that we’ve all been so stressed about Eddie joining is...basically a women’s intramural sports league? LOLOL so I’m super excited to watch Jamie sputter about how Joe died playing softball* and therefore Eddie shouldn’t join. 

LOOK AT EDDIE. She is legitimately excited about the idea of playing softball, dude. That smile is as much personality as we’ve gotten out of her all season. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH JAMIE “WET BLANKET” REAGAN SNUFF THAT RIGHT OUT. 

This ~date night~ situation is hilarious in a Young Childless Couple way. 

OH, so NOW Jamie’s interested in a legitimate conversation with Eddie, engaged and responding... with questions in a demanding, rude tone? I’m so annoyed at his whole handling of the Eddie’s-new-partner thing.

GOD why is everything a Female Empowerment Thing? Can’t women just... enjoy playing sports? 

OH HERE’S WHERE IT GETS FUN HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS 

BAD IDEA

YOU’RE ABOUT TO BECOME A REAGAN

THAT’S A NO-GO

NOW YOU’RE JUST BEING STUBBORN

“No, I’m being astonished that my fiancé is trying to tell me what I can and cannot do” SAME, EDDIE 

I’m so angry that the scene cuts off there. Did they just go about their stupid dinner date with this Tension floating palpably in the air between them? Did Eddie pull out an “I think I’ll sleep at my place tonight” and stalk away in that red? satin? dress? ? I hope she poured his stupid ON TAP IPA (objectively the worst type of beer, btw) down his shirt and walked out. 

I AM SO SAD watching this scene of Eddie backing out of softball. 

“I’m not much of a joiner” is a DUMB RIDICULOUS LINE and Eddie says it TWICE, folks. 

Witten doesn’t bring up Jamie at all - I therefore assume she doesn’t know Eddie’s a Future Reagan (which is a whole other issue, but anyway.) . Witten thinks Eddie’s backing out so as to avoid associating with Witten. So I assume Witten’s intentions with the softball invite were totally pure. IMAGINE THAT! A woman who wants to be friends with another woman, one who she works with and respects and wants to get to know better! With no ulterior motive! Someone please hit Jamie Reagan in the nostril with a dart. 

I like Witten more and more. Can we replace all the Reagan storylines with Witten, Sam, and Old Eddie in dark jeans and a studded jacket?

A LAUNDROMAT? ONE: Shouldn’t Jamie, as A Reagan, have laundry in his building?* TWO: It he didn’t, why wouldn’t they do laundry for free at Frank’s house every week?*

I CAN SMELL THE TENSION and I am legitimately curious how they’ve coexisted between the date and now. How’s that working out, hmm - that “keeping work and home separate” thing? 

“I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO, I ASKED” says Jamie. Shall we go back a few bullet points to when he told her it’s a “no-go”? 

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I NEED TO KNOW - Same, Eddie. Do I really need to reiterate how ridiculous this whole thing is - that they’re engaged without dating, and now finding out that maybe there’s a reason people date first, even if they’re best friends, because this is the kind of stuff you work out before you start shopping for your dress.

“Are we talking, or are we just talking smack?” SOME ACCUSATION from the dumbass who said ALL THE THINGS IN THOSE BULLETS UP ABOVE. 

Finally, for once, Eddie is voicing some real and legitimate concerns. Are we going to get any sort of resolution or mature adult discussion of these things? NOPE! 

Did he seriously just tell her to cut it out? I hate him so much. I hope somebody duct tapes him to the front of those washer/dryers and pulls out each individual eyebrow hair with tweezers. 

This laundromat scene just exemplifies so many of the issues I’ve been rage blogging about all damn season. Jamie ultimately brushing off Eddie’s concerns without ever giving her real answers. Not having the respect for her to even take her thoughts into account. Barking orders like he knows it all, and Eddie isn’t capable of making her own decisions. At least this time that’s the actual point of the scene rather than the nasty subtext. 

EDDIE AND DANNY SCENE: I’m actually surprised that this is the first time Joe has been mentioned. Watching the sneak peek I figured Jamie’s main argument against Eddie joining an organization would be that it’s what got his brother killed (being vague, obviously, since Eddie clearly didn’t know the details). Not that it’s improper As A Reagan. I hoped the context of the episode would make me feel a little better about this scene but it just feels even more out of place and poorly/choppily written. I like Eddie and Danny together - I’d like them to interact more. But this didn’t do it for me. Gotta meet that Joe Mention Quota* on the season, I guess. 

FINAL SCENE: in summary, FUCK THIS. 

Sidenote: When is someone going to get suspicious @ how often Eddie gets pulled into Sarge’s office? 

For the record, I anticipated an eye-rolly “Ohhkay, maybe I overreacted...” speech. 

WHAT WE GOT FELL BELOW EVEN THAT VERY LOW BAR. 

Jamie explains himself. Fine, he has a right to do that, and it’s constructive in helping Eddie understand the man she’s about to marry (god don’t even remind me). BUT HE DOES NOT ADMIT ANY WRONGDOING. 

THERE IS NO APOLOGY

THERE IS NO ADMISSION THAT HE MADE MISTAKES in how he spoke to her, ordered her around, and didn’t even stop for eight seconds to listen to what she had to say

THERE IS NOT EVEN THE VERY MINIMAL “I overreacted” type of acknowledgment. 

“So maybe if I forget sometimes, you can remind me” THIS IS GROSS TOO because it essentially puts the burden on Eddie to teach/remind Jamie how to HAVE AN ADULT CONVERSATION AND NOT BE AN ASS. He could AT LEAST take responsibility for his own improvement in the Future. 

Eddie said literally two words in this entire scene. There was no mutual understanding, no real agreement, no genuine Development in their relationship. 

THIS IS NOT A SATISFACTORY RESOLUTION TO THIS CONFLICT. 

This episode is called Rectify but NOTHING HAS BEEN RECTIFIED. 

ALSO, this seems like an awfully Personal conversation to be having in uniform, Sarge. Are they even trying anymore? 

HE JUST THREW A SOFTBALL GLOVE AT HER. Is that supposed to be... sweet? Touching? An admission of guilt/mistake/wrongdoing? TRY AGAIN, BB. NONE OF THE ABOVE. 

WELL. If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’re as disgruntled as I am. Seems like plenty of y’all were quite unhappy with this episode as well. I’m enjoying your tweets and sadness. I’ve been the queen of this club for almost a year now. Welcome, make yourselves comfortable, there’s plenty of ice cream in the freezer. Just don’t sit on the far end of the couch. That’s my dog’s favorite spot. 

*These four hilarious lines were taken from two important Outside Sources. Thanks for your contribution, Outside Sources. 

[hollywayblog]

How “The Umbrella Academy” Surprised Me

In many ways, good and bad.

This is a spoiler-free review of season one of The Umbrella Academy

I remember when The Umbrella Academy comics came out. It was 2007 and I was a broke thirteen-year-old living in suburban Australia (a cultural wasteland!) so I never actually read them, but as a rabidly obsessed My Chemical Romance/Gerard Way fan, I managed to fold The Umbrella Academy into my identity anyway. I’m not sure exactly how that works, but hey. Adolescents are powerful creatures.

As a distinguished almost-twenty-five-year-old (I’d like to acknowledge that I took a small break here to have an existential crisis) my walls are free of band posters and my eyes are no longer encircled with that thick black eyeliner that always managed to look three days old and slept in, but I still got kind of a thrill when I learned that The Umbrella Academy was being adapted into a Netflix show. It was something I had always assumed I would end up reading, back in the depths of my emo phase (which is probably more accurately defined as a My Chemical Romance phase) but then just kind of forgot about. So, great, I’m simultaneously being reminded that this thing exists, and freed of the nostalgic obligation to go seek out the comic and read it. As much as I love reading, comics have just never been my thing.

Then the trailer came out. Honestly, it kind of killed my enthusiasm. It just looked kind of generic. Apocalypse. Superpowers. Bold characters. Lots of action. My takeaway was a big ol’ “Meh.” Frankly, without my pre-existing attachment to Gerard Way and the very idea of The Umbrella Academy, I highly doubt I would have given it a chance - not because it looked inherently bad, but just because I’m a hard sell on the kind of show it appeared to be.

But it’s Gerard Way, man. I had to watch at least one episode.

The Umbrella Academy centres around the famous-yet-mysterious Hargreeves family. The seven children - six of whom have special powers - were adopted by Reginald Hargreeves, a cold and severe patriarch who didn’t even deign to name them. He made them into “The Umbrella Adademy,” a crime-fighting squad of tiny children who would later dissolve after a tragic incident. Now they’re grown up, and Dad’s dead. His spare and tense memorial is what brings the adult Umbrella Academy back together, and this is where the show kicks off.

We’re treated to a rather clumsy beginning; a gripping opening scene followed by an unimaginative montage. We get a glimpse of each of the Hargreeves’ regular lives, leading up to and including them learning of their father’s death. It’s a heavy-handed introductory roll-call, complete with on-screen name cards. It’s a baffling waste of time, considering we don’t learn anything in this montage that isn’t later reiterated through dialogue or behaviour. We don’t need to see Klaus leaving rehab to know he’s an addict. We don’t need to see Allison on the red carpet to know she’s a movie star. It dragged, even on a first watch not knowing that the whole thing would be ultimately pointless, and I’m surprised no one thought to cut it and let us go in cold with everyone arriving at the mansion for the memorial - an opening that would have both set the tone and let us get to know the characters much more naturally. Maybe it feels like I’m focusing too much on this, and that’s only because it gave me a bad first impression - and I want anyone who reacts the same way I did to stick with it. It really does get better.

The further we got from the montage the less gimmicky it felt, and I started to sense some sort of something that I liked about this show. Stylistically it was interesting, and there seemed to be an underlying depth; room for these characters to be more than brooding ex-vigilantes with daddy issues. I was intrigued enough by the end of episode one to keep watching, and was gratified as the series went on and truly delved into those depths. There was a memorable turning point for me around episode five, where Klaus (the wonderful Robert Sheehan) was given space in the runtime to visibly, viscerally feel the effects of something he had just been through. It sounds so obvious, and so simple, but it’s something that is frustratingly glossed over so often in fiction. You know. Fallout. Feelings.

It wasn’t just that moment, though. Prior episodes laid the groundwork, developing not just Klaus but all the Hargreeves. Each character feels real and grounded, each of them uniquely good, uniquely bad, uniquely damaged by their upbringing. It’s this last point I particularly appreciate, this subtle realism in the show’s execution of abused characters. We see how siblings growing up with the same parents does not necessarily mean they got the same childhood, endured the same abuse, or that their trauma will manifest in the same ways. And certainly, it’s important to see the different coping mechanisms each of them have developed. Furthermore, there is a lot more to each of these characters than just their trauma. There are seven distinct personalities going on, and I have to applaud the writers for this commitment to character. It was largely this that kept me hooked (I’m such a sucker for good characters), and to my own surprise very invested in the way things unfolded.

I love the tone, which found a cool rhythm after the pilot. The pacing was decent and the character development balanced well against the plot. I like the little quirks that remind you of the show’s comic book roots, like Pogo, the talking ape and Five, the grouchy old man in a teenager’s body.

Weirdly, I like the apocalypse stuff, which they managed to put their own spin on despite it being such a played-out trope at this point. I like that the show found small ways to go in unexpected directions, even if the overarching plot and big twists weren’t all that surprising. And most of all I love that in a world saturated with forgettable media, I woke up today still thinking about this show.

Even if not all of my thoughts were so generous.

See, for everything I love about this show, there are also quite a few things that rubbed me up the wrong way. I can’t list them all without going into spoilers, but I think it needs to be said that there are like, a fair few problematic elements in this show. I couldn’t help but notice that while women and people of colour are the minority in this cast, they also seem to cop the worst abuse. Only two of the Hargreeves siblings are female. One of them has no powers and the other’s power is influence (a non-physical power). Their “Mom” is literally a robot created for the sole purpose of caregiving; she dresses and acts like the epitome of a submissive 50s housewife. The Hargreeves sisters are also the ones most likely to be left out or ignored when it comes to making decisions, with one of them even literally losing her voice at one point (yikes!). Beyond that we have some truly disturbing imagery of violence being inflicted on women of colour almost exclusively by white men, and the fact that the only asian character is um… well, he’s literally dead. Before the show even starts.

Overall the problem is not just insufficient diversity, with white men taking up most of the screen time, dialogue and leadership actions, but the way that the few female and non-white characters are depicted.

These are all depictions that, in a vacuum, would be innocuous. I mean, just looking at the root of many of the show’s problems exemplifies that - the root being that all of these characters were white in the source material (uh, a problem in itself, obviously). It wasn’t a problem, for example, when Dead Ben was not the only Asian character but just another white Hargreeves sibling. And wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where you could race or gender-swap any character and have everything mean - or not mean - the same thing. But life is more complicated than that. Art is more complicated than that.

Honestly, I’m not sure if we should give props to the developers of The Umbrella Academy for diversifying their cast when the fact is they did so - and I say this gently - ignorantly and lazily. Race-swapping willy-nilly and leaving it at that ignores a lot of complex issues surrounding the nuances of portraying minorities in fiction, and leaves room for these kinds of harmful and hurtful tropes to carelessly manifest. So many storytellers don’t want to hear it, but let me tell you writer to writer that it does matter if the person being choked is white or black, male or female, trans or cis. It does matter who’s doing the choking. Camera angles matter. Dialogue matters. It’s all a language that conveys a message - about power and dominance and vulnerability in the real world. Because art doesn’t exist inside a vacuum, as inconvenient as that might be. Having the empathy to recognise that will actually make us better storytellers.

In shedding light on these issues, I am not dragging this show. I am not condemning it. And although it is problematic in itself, I’m not even saying it’s problematic to enjoy it. I’m pulling apart the lasagne, looking at the layers, poking and prodding at the individual ingredients and saying, “Hey, the chef probably should have known better than to put pineapple in here. Maybe let’s not do that next time.” I’m also saying, “When I get a mouthful with pineapple in it, I don’t enjoy that. It’s jarring and unpleasant. But it doesn’t ruin the whole meal for me.”

I’m getting better at allowing myself to dislike something on the basis of its shitty themes. To not have to justify myself when something is problematic in a way that just makes it too uncomfortable for me to watch. That wasn’t the case here. I won’t lie; the bad stuff was no afterthought for me. That kind of thing really gets to me. It does ruin a lot for me. But in this case, the show redeemed itself in other ways; mostly by just being a compelling story with characters I liked. I’m trying not to justify that too hard either.

So I liked The Umbrella Academy, and I hope it gets a second season. I also hope that the creators will listen to people like me who want to be able to enjoy their show even more and create more consciously in the future.

And please let Vanya be a lesbian.

The Umbrella Academy is out now on Netflix

Watch this show if you like: witty characters, iconic characters, complex characters, mysteries,  dark themes, superpowers, vigilantes, comics, dark humour, epic stories, shows about families, stylistic TV shows, ensemble casts, character dynamics, dramedies

Possible triggers (don’t read if you care about spoilers): suicide, child abuse, claustrophobia, addiction, violence, violence against women, violence against women of colour, death, torture, incest, self-harm, pregnancy/childbirth, kidnapping/abduction, blood, mental illness, medication/themes of medication necessity, blood, manipulation/gaslighting, homicide, forced captivity, guns, hospitalisation, medical procedures, needles, PTSD, prison rape reference (1).

Please feel free to message me if I failed to include a relevant trigger warning and I’ll include it.

[cinnbar-bun]

Why Vane is the Bestest Boy Ever

Welcome to my TEDtalk this is some real stuff ya’ll NEED to hear because Vane is the absolute best ( to me at least). Sorry this is jumbled af I don’t even know what I wrote. 

Listen I know I talk a lot about Vane and you’re probably sick and tired of it and I understand. BUT LIKE HEAR ME OUT FOR A MINUTE!

So I never really did the subquests early on in my playthrough of GBF mostly because I’m a dumbass and didn’t really realize they were there. ANYWAYS, so my first exposure of Vane came from his SR version (sadly, I don’t have his SSR version,,,,hhhhh please come home). I wasn’t too keen on him at first because he was an SR and in the beginning I was obsessed with getting SSR’s (instead of appreciating quality characters). 

The reason I first got into GBF was because of Lancelot, I thought he was super attractive and w o w cool this looks awesome! So I was hoping to get Lancelot more than anyone else. 

I digress, so I went through Vane’s fate episode really quick, and I just didn’t appreciate his character all too much. Seeing his art, I thought yeah he looked cool but he kinda looks like a smug jerk and I just did not care (especially since I was starting to like Will). I basically forgot I summoned him until I played Defender’s Oath. 

It brought him into a new light for me, because honestly, I did that side quest because of Lancelot. When we see Vane in DO, we see him as somewhat clueless, but overall, a nice guy who just wants to help his friends. I had very low expectations for him, and to just have him in my face acting like the most adorable thing ever was just hhhhhhhhhhh amazing. 

But it also made me get bored with Lancelot, because to me, it felt like all the other Dragon Knights had gotten character development except him. We constantly see Vane grow from being someone who was initially nervous about being Vice-Captain, to being more confident in his role and ensuring the public is happy. And that’s what I think separates Lancelot and Vane the most. While Lancelot does care for the people, he cares more for the well being of the country. Vane however, is just a ball of sunshine who wants to repay his kindness to those who need help (as seen with Bistro Feendrache). 

I’m not saying Lancelot is a bad person by any means, not at all, he is probably what is considered a more ‘ideal knight’ because of his undying loyalty to Feendrache, but Vane is someone who just doesn’t care for titles, he just wants to be by his friends’ side. 

I think his most stellar moment was in Divergent Knighthoods. THIS was what cemented my love for him as my fave character, not only in GBF, but in my entire life. We see him at his most fatherly and courageous form in this quest, and it just is the sweetest thing ever. He jumbles up a bit as Vice-Captain, he’s excitable and kinda immature compared to Lancelot, but that’s what makes him so strong. 

Divergent Knighthoods showed the BEST possible form of Vane by showing us his interactions with Team Chickadee. Sure, Arthur and Mordred were the focal point of it, but we see Vane’s development, as well how he helps the other two. Arthur and Mordred probably would not have gotten as good as they did if it weren’t for Vane. Vane taught them that being a knight doesn’t mean giving up on friendship and kindness, or forgetting what it means to be human. 

Vane is just that. Human. Lancelot and Percival constantly push themselves to be something greater than human, and Seigfried is considered to be god-tier to them. They all idealize Siegfried, but Lancelot and Percival want to be JUST like him that they focus solely on his actions, not why he does what he does. Vane, while he also looks to Siegfried as a role model, doesn’t feel the need to exemplify him. He feels fine the way he is, but he looks up to Siegfried as what greatness can achieve. He wants to be as skilled as Siegfried, but in his own way. 

Vane uses his emotions as a powerful weapon, while Lancelot and Percival try to repress them. They feel that emotions get in the way of decision-making, and that it’ll make them weaker. Vane just doesn’t give a crap and continues dancing to his own beat. He stepped up as a father-figure and mentor to Team Chickadee, and made them stronger by teaching them the importance of emotions. He even commented on something like that when he was interacting with Cruz. The poor boy just wasn’t emotional, and it worried Vane about what his life was like at home. He was so proud of Cruz when he even SMILED, and he treated it like a trophy. 

He’s a very supportive guy as seen when he constantly praised the team for slight accomplishments, even if they seemed stupid in the eyes of others. Lancelot has high expectations for them, and even though they wish to be knights when they’re older, he forgets they’re just kids. Vane knows that they’re just little kids, and he is one at heart, so he has no problem interacting with them and encouraging them to do better. He doesn’t need to act intimidating, because it’s just not in his nature. He doesn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not, and uses his supposed ‘flaws’ as a tool to get better. 

I also wanna talk about what I think is a slight inferiority complex. Yeah, Vane loves himself, but he loves his friends a lot more. Especially Lancelot. Lancelot grew up with him and is basically his brother from another mother, and Vane trusts him completely. But we see throughout his fate episodes and special cutscenes that he knows Lancelot is more well-loved and respected than he will ever be. 

Valentines Day (year 2): “Aw, man. It's that time of year again... Sucks being that guy that doesn't get anything. Yeah... Oh well! I'll just pretend this chocolate I made came from a girl!”

Valentines Day (year 3): “Man, I knew he was popular... Speaking as a childhood friend, good for him. Bet he's a pretty happy camper. Sigh... I wonder if I'll ever...”

Happy Birthday (year 2): “Hehe, thanks for taking the time to deal with a bum like me! How old are you now? Are you really gonna waste your birthday hangin' around here? You want to be here? Aw man, quit jokin' around! It's not nice to tease people, you know.”

Happy Birthday (year 4): “ I shouldn't stay too long, I don't want to wear you out even more.”

Happy Holidays (year 2):  “ Huh? Oh, hey, (Captain). Are you free right now? Good thing I bumped into you! All right, you get the pleasure of spending the day with me! Not! Yeah, like you'd want to hang out with me, hahaha!” 

Fate Episode [sr version]: “ Y-you really think so? I'm really just trying to be more like Lancey. “

[after you compliment him for being more like Lancelot than he knows]:  “Heheh, thank you! Hearing you say that gives me a real boost, (Captain)!”

LIKE THIS BOY LEGITIMATELY THINKS HANGING OUT WITH HIM IS LIKE THE WORST PUNISHMENT IN HISTORY. It’s so sad because he’s such a lovable goof, and the fact he thinks he’s such a bother because he’s not like Lancelot is just....my heart...

I don’t think he’s actually AWARE of his insecurities when it comes to these sort of things, like he can recognize it in other people, but just can’t see himself being jealous of Lancelot, his best friend. He is not really given much credit for his work, and most dismiss him as a loud idiot who’s just Vice-Captain. Percival’s insults towards Vane doesn’t get him down, but the fact that Lancelot gets more praise for being Captain probably irks him to some degree. 

Honestly, Vane has so much to offer. He is such a romantic, and reading the part in his sr skills episode WHERE HE LITERALLY REMEMBERED A SUBORDINATES ANNIVERSARY AND TOLD HIM TO LEAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS WIFE! Like, catch any of the other guys even remembering what day it is. 

Knights of the Order of White Dragons: With all due respect, First Officer, sir, why are you trying to dismiss me so early? There's still plenty of work to do…

Vane: But isn't it your anniversary today? Don't you think you should go home and be with your wife?

Knights of the Order of White Dragons: Y-you remembered?

Vane: Of course! You were gushing about it the other day!

Vane: One look at that grin on your face and it was seared into my memory!

Knights of the Order of White Dragons: But circumstances are different now…

Knights of the Order of White Dragons: The people are still uneasy after the incident the other day! It's not right for me to get to relax with my wife!

Vane: Don't be stupid! Are you really gonna let this emergency ruin your fun? That's even worse!

LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT THIS!! He is just all about positivity and having fun, this guy is such a cutie. He just cares about the little people so much. NOT TO MENTION HIS LOVE FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE. He went on a tangent in the special cutscenes about how he wanted to help the old grandmas who helped in his childhood, and the children who appeared in Halloween. This guy cares a lot for the people and he just continues giving love and care for them all despite being considered a lesser version of his best friend from others.  

Vane is by no means a lesser version of Lancelot. He’s a great companion that contrasts well with Lancelot, by reminding him to take care of himself. He bakes, he cooks, he cleans, he does plenty of stuff for the crew and is such hubby material that I BELIEVE EVERY PERSON NEEDS SOMEONE LIKE VANE IN THEIR LIFE. Vane is the gift that keeps on giving, who’ll never stop giving. He cares too much to even bother to think about his own health, and is just the absolute best. 

Maybe I’ll fix this later on idk but like if I continue I’ll ramble for hours about why he’s so precious and ya’ll don’t wanna see that from me. 

But yeah tldr: VANE IS FREAKIN AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM

[missionlameturtle]

innanzituttoticalmi replied to your post “innanzituttoticalmi replied to your post “look I love the MCU as...”

haha i also meant that the actual mcu spiderman movie(s, the second one comes out this summer) do have secret identity shenanigans! you probably can't make a spiderman movie without the secret identity stuff though, so i agree marvel doesn't get too many points there

idk though it Is an interesting question! all of these guys in comics started out as keeping a secret identity and they ditched that entirely in the mcu, but they kept the conflict exemplified by the mask: tony stark vs iron man and steve rogers vs captain america are very much still the central question of their trilogies, for example, though they play out in completely different ways. and i guess it also comes back around to accountability turning out to be a major theme of the movies?

knowing who these guys are and where they live so you can go ask them what the fuck they thought they were doing that one time is central to the mcu avengers' brand of superheroing, for better or worse

that’s a good point! the identity porn is definitely still there, just in a different way, and the choice *not* to have a secret identity plays a huge role in foregrounding the notion of accountability in the franchise (most visibly so in the Iron Man movies, in my opinion, but ymmv). And that’s not necessarily a bad thing! I really really like the way the Iron Man movies in particular frame this decision and make it very explicit that Tony is choosing accountability to the public over anonymity. 

But honestly, for most characters in the MCU’s main/Avengers cast, the question of having a secret identity isn’t even really addressed, and I think that muddies the message a little bit and to me makes them feel less like classic comic book superheroes? The latter is probably partially the point, but I do wish they had spent more time on the question of whether, say, Steve Rogers should have a secret identity--they could even have come to a different conclusion, in the First Avenger, in a way that would have been contextually logical and would have made sense thematically and in terms of the overarching plot! As the result of a successful top-secret experiment and as the leader of an elite paramilitary group, it would have made perfect sense for Steve’s real identity to be a closely guarded secret during the war--and for him to wake up and realize that that secret has been disclosed to the public without his consent? Yeah, I would’ve been all over that contrast with Tony, and it would have helped situate Civil War in a context that was more explicitly tied to the question of the rights of an individual vs the ability to hold the powerful accountable for their actions.

And, I mean, we all know I love Clint Barton and will be bitter that we will probably never get the Hawkeye movie I deserve until the day I die and films that focused more on Clint, Natasha, Bruce, etc could have easily engaged with secret identity shenanigans--again, as SHIELD agents and given what happens with SHIELD in Winter Soldier, the question of keeping your identity a secret vs being held accountable would have worked amazingly well for Clint and Natasha in particular, and I wish we’d spent more time with that. 

But also I know Marvel kind of did something radical by throwing secret identities out the window, and I’m okay with that! I mean, it’s not really what I want out of a superhero franchise, but it’s cool when franchises explore new ideas and ways of approaching what it means to be a hero and it worked brilliantly for the Iron Man movies in particular. It was a cool exciting thing when they first did it, but it’s been years and I have to admit that I’m a little over it--and I think one of the reasons I find the Arrowverse/DC tv shows increasingly more appealing than Marvel is because they approach the question of heroism differently for each of their heroes/shows. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, that the MCU has a unifying set of values the way that it does, but the Arrowverse feels a lot more like it has a hero for everyone. And also has more fun secret identity shenanigans (as opposed to Marvel’s more Srs Bsns identity porn drama), which I personally find very enjoyable.

idk this is getting pretty long and I’m not sure how much of it is coherent but I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was a cool new take on superherodom 11 years ago but after a decade I’m kind of over the fact that this is the same cool new take they have for each and every one of their major characters--and that I think part of the reason I love the Iron Man films in particular is that they wrestle with the question of having a secret identity explicitly, so this thing that I want in superhero movies is still *there*, even if Tony rejects it every time.

(The exception to all of this whining about wanting secret identities is, of course, Thor, because he does not count because he is an alien demigod prince who lives in outer space--but also the first Thor movie ALSO engages with the question of secret identities, kind of, and ends up rejecting it on the grounds that Thor is a really bad liar. Which is fine! I don’t need there to be a good, moving, Important reason, I just want there to be a reason.)