#thought i could handle
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vent in the tags hahaha(kill me)
#cicisays#got sexually catcalled at worka day ago and went into shock#talked to some friends but seemed to be over it?#like my anxiety heightened but i fel tokay#cut to me this morning having a dream about being rh****** in front of a live audince of cheering crowds just watching#god i hate people#i hate anxiety#i'm overslept or underslept#my anxiety is quietly bubblingf beneath the surface#i called out of work becuase it's so bjusy there on weekends my anxiety would've worsened and then who knows what#i thought i was fine#thought i could handle#but I'm justa scared little kid all over again#why is it only ever close to safe at hime but never all the way?#trauma is so casually cruel like that#buildings aren't safe only people could ever be#even tho they can go and chage their mind anytime#:((#i am too open#too vulnerable#but i need to be cause it's a good quality#watching my back all the time is exhausting#but goddamit#dremas like that are why i fear going outside alone#it's why i don't go out alone unless it's work#a big part of strangers inherently scare me#there's always the little voice telling me I'm not safe here I'll never be#i jsut wanna stay in my bubble even though that's apparently not living#I'd rather kill myself than be handled without my consent#i'd rather die rather die rather die rather die
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actually what makes friends to lovers such a good trope and, in fact, what is Essential to making it a good trope is that the characters have to be friends. and you may say, well duh!! that's what the trope is!!! but no, no, no. you see, some people see friends to lovers and think: two people who are secretly in love/have feelings for each other throughout the entirety of their friendship and use that friendship to mask that. but the real slow burn is when they're legitimately friends. like, they feasibly might have 5 episodes/10 episodes/a whole season where there is No suggestion of romance between them (even if you know it'll head that way eventually) and instead they're just hanging out with no deeper meaning. so instead of seeing them hide their feelings the friendship is peppered with these ✨moments✨. moments where you think, oh there could be something more here. moments that slowly begin to happen more frequently and closer together until the character thinks, oh there could be something more here - by which point you, as the viewer, are Tearing your hair out because you already knew that!!!!! catch up and kiss already!!!!!! and so by the time they both actually realise it and are both actually ready to vocalise it you feel like you've run a marathon - exhausted, strung out, breathless, but also experiencing the greatest adrenaline high of all time
#it's soooooo satisfying#new girl did it So Well in s1 and 2#ad obviously chandler/monica#buddie someday i beg 🙏#mine#thoughts that are coming to me watching s4 of gilmore girls#though oop controversial opinion they are Not handling any of these relationships as well as they could#and it's driving me insane askdjfh
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the first sixtieth anniversary special: the doctor and donna are back!!!! trans people are awesome!!!! it’s rough at first, but it’ll be ok (minus coffee making the tardis malfunction) <333
the second sixtieth anniversary special:
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#it was so good but shit fucked me UP#i thought i could handle body horror. um. apparently i cannot#but wilfred is back!!!!! and there were so many good doctor donna interactions!!!!!#AGH im so excited for next saturdayyyyyyy#also BI DOCTOR W!!!!!!!
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cockwarming dilf!mingyu thoughts (nsfw)
summary: thoughts on reader cockwarming dilf!kim mingyu :3
contains: 18+ nsfw! mdni!!
✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩
thinking about cock warming and slow fucking dilf!mingyu
after closing the bedroom door behind him, mingyu turns to meet your gaze. the moment the two of you make eye contact, you both gravitate towards each other. the slow movements of feeling up his chest turn into rapid ones trying to undress each other.
walking backwards to mingyu bed, falling into the white sheets with him hovering about you. grazing open mouthed kisses and licks across each other's necks. nosing against each other’s skin as he slips into you. feeling so so so full as you grind down onto his pretty cock.
slow movements of mingyu's hips hitting every spot making you in absolute bliss. the pace slowing down to barely slow fucking. heavy breaths, quiet moans and slips of whimpers filling the room.
trying to keep quiet so none of his kids hear the two of you. mingyu having his arms wrapped around you and his head laying on top of your chest. you have one hand trailing down the curve of his broad back. the other hand is carding your fingers through his hair to move it away from his sweaty forehead.
the summer evening breeze cooling down your flushed skin. the sunset view illuminating his honey skin. the warmth of your and mingyu's bodies lulling the two of you to sleep.
ames note: my other mingoo writing -> bestie fwb!mingyu headcanons
author note: do not distribute my work on other platforms without my consent. if you see my writing in places other than this tumblr account, please let me know. my writings are purely fictional fantasises for fun. the people i write about are real human beings and should still be treated as such. please do not take my writings seriously or as truth.
#buntanteen writings#kim mingyu x reader#mingyu x reader#mingyu smut#mingyu fluff#seventeen thoughts#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen headcanons#seventeen drabbles#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#seventeen scenarios#svt fanfic#svt imagines#svt smut#pls kindly let me know if there are any issues!!#this is totalllyyy not inspired by a very vivid dream i had two mornings ago about mingyu whattttttt#i think i was his side hoe or rebound or someone he cheated on his wife with???#cuz one of his three kids caught us and said “dad what about mom?"#hoping that dream dilf mingyu was divorced or smth#i woke up before i could find out the drama :<#it was so much for me to handle that i just had to write it down haha#i hope y'all enjoyeeeddd#it took a bit to post cuz i was trying to find the right pics to convey the vibe haha
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"i hate davepeta they ruined davesprite's character arc!!" mfw the character burdened with their identity finds freedom and joy in allowing themselves to become a different person rather than remaining trapped as a "bargain bin" facsimile of their ideal self
#like this shit is deeply transgender its kinda crazy to miss that#i agree that it could have been handled with more grace but this is just such a poopoo not thought through take#and i see it every day#neotxt#tfw the character who struggles with masculinity and vulnerability gets to be androgynous and vibrantly emotional#like its right there yall 😭#its follow through on an emotional conflict that basically every single homestuck character goes through#yeah davepeta is a different character but your bird guy is still in there bro#believe it or not he is fully participating in davepeta's cringe#because dave IS cringe#Always has been.
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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What about Hiccstrid with their first child one year after their wedding or Hiccstrid being cuddly in their big bed while Astrid is pregnant with Zephyr🥰 or both you are the Artist, you decide.
Something like this?? Maybe 😭 idk I kinda mixed the two requests together so I hope you like it. Shoot me with a semi-automatic shotgun if you want something more specific tbh
Also, I have TONS of request drawings brewing!! 😈I’m trying to get a stock pile of em done so I can get one out a day. So stay with me my children.
#I WOULD NOT recommend picking up three 12 hour shifts if you’re a CNA 😭😭#I worked 64 HOURS THIS WEEK#like???#what made me do it???😭#I thought I could handle it#httyd#how to train your dragon#astrid#hiccup#astrid hofferson#hiccup haddock#hiccstrid#httyd fanart#rtte#fanart#zephyr haddock#zephyr#zephyr and hiccup#zephyr and astrid#hiccup and astrid#baby zephyr#married hiccstrid#hiccstrid babies#baby haddock
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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sweet angel <3
#i made this soooo slowly like picked it up and did like two brushstokes and then acted all worn out and took like a three week break#when i had done the face and like 10% of the hair and decided that was more than i could handle#like i love his wavy slickback but i did nottt enjoy painting it even a little hair is hard enouh already and this style was not my friend#literally picked this photo/screenshot because of his hand and then i put it in shadow rip#i mean it is still very much visible but still#you can pry halo and devil horn imagery from my cold dead hands im literally never giving those up#armand#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#armand iwtv#iwtv fanart#armand fanart#del draws#do i need an iwtv tag at this point? for my two things ive posted#more proud of the finger waggle gifs ngl#dels iwtv thoughts
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#destiny 2#the second row because some crops are hard to see#Ghalran#Ir Anuk#Ir Halak#Ir Yut#Aisle seat and I could handle Nezarec way better than Calus#I love this meme because it's airplane habits vs who you find annoying#tumblr polls#initially I was seat 3 because I like aisle seats#but seat 6 would be better than Nezarec tormenting me#I thought about putting some combo of Witness Rhulk and Nezarec#around seat 5 but that would have made it hell
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Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.
What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?
#these two are so entangled with each other and in the roles they play#(mother and daughter. husband and wife. prodigal or ungrateful daughter. adoring or mocking mother)#that they cannot handle it when something else is thrown into the mix#There's no space left because they fill all the roles in each other's lives.#but at the same time they never give the other exactly what she wants#The fights never last. Erika will never live up to her mother's ambitions. And her mother will never give her any form of affection which#might satiate her hunger for love. And so on.#They are deeply imperfect- Love and Despise each other but they could never bear the thought of being separated#When I read the part in the book where Erika talks to Walter for the first time and all she wants is to go back into her mother's womb...#you can't make that shi up#when people talk about toxic yuri that's what they could mean but unfortunately we live in a society#gradually learning to accept the person I'm becoming who would've been burned at the stake by my younger self <3#been having so much thoughts about this film once again. And I know that nothing written here is new but I'm a little sad no one really#talks about this relationship online since it's really the heart of the story for me#Of course everything happening with Walter is important. But none of that would be there without the mother-daughter situation#la pianiste#the piano teacher#haneke#sheep stuffs#isabelle huppert#also I'd kinda get it if it was another film and it made people too uncomfortable to talk about it. but I mean this is literally La Pianist
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it#he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley#it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while#she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee
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you ever think about how edwin got like. no warning, no time time to process, nothing, when he reappeared on earth faced with the fact that virtually everyone he knew in life is dead. his parents? probably died in the 1950s or so (at best) almost forty years prior to edwin’s return. if any of his classmates were still around, they’d have been elderly, possibly senile, and in a few years they’d all be gone– except, of course, edwin. nothing looks the same, cars look like spaceships, there actually are spaceships, he can no longer see the stars, and everyone he knew is dead.
#he may be dead too but he’s certainly not gone. he’s a lingering relic. something lost to time#that’s some existential dread on an incomprehensible level#like. he meets charles quite soon after returning from hell and it’s implied he’s pretty much just been haunting that schoolhouse in that#time right. so I seriously doubt he’d have visited– let alone even Found– his parents’ graves. I wonder if he ever did that with charles.#maybe charles providing him enough emotional support to feel like he could handle it.#I know that he wasn’t close to his parents in life– nor was he close with anyone that we know of– and yeah I think that’d definitely make#things a bit easier in certain ways; he never felt like he belonged in his time/place in life or amongst his family or peers#so being displaced from all that wouldn’t feel like losing very much#in a way#but… I mean still#and he inevitably would have those lingering thoughts of what could’ve been–#yes he could’ve died in the war and his life likely wouldn’t be very fulfilling considering he’d probably be forced into a marriage he#wouldn’t want or if he was found out he could’ve been imprisoned and ostracized and disowned. plenty of ways his life could’ve been awful if#but also what if his parents loosened up a little as the times did? as in- what if he actually got to know them? what if they tried to#have a relationship with him of some sort eventually? it’s not impossible#it’d have to eat at him. that and wondering if either of them felt guilty#or felt a loss. or anything#hoo boy. fun stuff#edwin#edwin payne#rambling#dead boy detectives
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made one of my old VR artworks into an AR painting 🖌🎨✨
#art#video#3d#3d artwork#digital art#sunset#nature#art video#vr#virtual reality#ar#augmented reality#figmin xr#i'm working on importing my old stuff and i'm impressed with how much modern headsets can handle#i thought for sure all the foliage and particle effects here would absolutely destroy framerate but it handled it like a champ#AND i could add MORE#the stars and spacedust around the plant portal are new additions :)
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