#though to clarify I’ve had this issue for years before I was ever in a romantic relationship

[needle-rose]

Okay I’m not going to reblog the post that inspired this for reasons that will become clear

But I always Really disliked interpretations of Beauty and the Beast (whether the Disney film/s or other animal bridegroom stories) that insist on how “the beast was ~hot~ before he transformed”

And give zero thought to that character’s experience of being cursed to live in a horrifically Wrong form for years on end. And finally being restored to something that feels correct and familiar—and can you imagine the first reaction to that, from the person who fell in love with you and with whom you’re in love, the one who broke the curse, saying “hm I liked you better before”?

I get it might be some kind of attempt to turn the “ugly” curse on its head and instead view it as the more attractive form

But that’s Not The Point!

The animal bridegroom tale is one of the oldest in the indo-European language family and it is time and again about coming to love someone for who they are rather than how they look. If anything the human transformation at the end can be best read as the phenomenon by which the person one loves becomes attractive in the lover’s eyes Because they are beloved.

And you know what sure I acknowledge and respect that interacting with it as a monsterfucker story is something people are going to do and will find the story appeals to them for that reason

But I feel like the instant you think of the Beast character/animal bridegroom as a Human Being who has been transformed against their will, as has traditionally been the case, those interpretations bother me in a way I still struggle to articulate.

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Warning! This chapter focus on mental health struggles and body image issues (depression and ed) It’s a little dark so if that is at all potentially triggering to you please be advised and do not interact.

Chapter 20 - Miss Mama | ‘Ours’

“She’s okay? God, please tell me she’s okay.” Trent asked in a voice that was heart wrenching. Lauren felt her heart shatter listening to him sound so meek and broken.

“Erm… physically so so, emotionally, T, I’ll be honest it’s not good. I know she fucked up but this isn’t good for you two to be apart. I’m worried.” Lauren croaked out. “I’m here with her now but….” She tried to begin to provide some sort of update but Trent cut her off.

“I need her to be okay, Lauren. I can’t have her like this. I need her. She… She’s my whole world. I am nothing without her. I’m so worried. I was the one that caused all of this. I need her to be okay.” He started to cry. Lauren could hear the gasps for air and sniffles through the phone. “I.. God, I l..love her so much.” Trent began to stutter interspersed between his tears. Lauren hadn’t really ever heard him cry but she understood wholeheartedly how upset he must’ve felt because she was feeling pretty much the same way.

“I know…  I know you do, T. I think she needs to come home. She needs you. Seriously, I know you guys have a lot to unpack after what’s happened but being away from you, from Teddy… it’s killing her. She’s… she’s not well.” Lauren didn’t know how to describe or even articulate your current state. You were gaunt, your face didn’t have the glow it did when you were with him or your baby. Lauren had seen this version of you before though unfortunately. She hadn’t seen it in years but she’d never forget it. Since Trent entered your life there had been an incandescence about you. Sure, you had dips, everyone does but he was there now to hold you through it all. She recalled an ability you had that she hated to morph your body to completely display your emotional state. Your mental condition contorting into a physical one. “T…” Lauren whimpered, starting to cry. “This isn’t the first time this has happened, I know she’s told you. You’ve been so good for her, you’ve changed her whole outlook on life, you treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I’m just worried because this isn’t the first time I’ve had to do this.” Lauren took a deep breath. 

“I am made for her. I know that. That is my purpose. I am supposed to take care of her and cherish her and I was mad, I was upset but I don’t want this. I never wanted to be the one to kick off something like this. God, I’m going fucking mad, here. Why did I let her leave like that ... .Wait, wait, hold on, do what, Laur?” Trent paused his momentary rant to get Lauren to clarify. 

“Winnie told me about the first time. I hadn’t met Y/N yet. She just was so sick. She wasn’t taking care of herself. I know you already know about these things, I don’t have to relay it all to you again. Honestly, I can barely talk about it. I don't want to have to do this anymore” Lauren’s body shuddered remembering other time’s that she’s been in this very situation. “I’ve watched her destroy herself. She lets herself wither away. I've seen it again and again and I thought we were done. I thought that you’d be the person that finally brought her some peace and seeing her like this again… it’s breaking me. When I came into the apartment… god” Lauren continued to cry, her heart hurting thinking about her best friend struggling to see what everyone around her saw. You were beautiful, inside and out and not in a cliche way, in a way that was indisputable and breathtakingly refreshing. Trent’s stomach dropped. He actually thought he might’ve blacked out while Lauren continued talking.  “She’s okay, she’s safe and asleep but she just really doesn’t want to lose you, she couldn’t handle it.” You didn’t always have the strength to push past the type of destruction you’d inflict on yourself over the years but there was something that Trent was able to do that gave you hope, gave you moments of truly feeling love and value. Lauren believed in you. You could be strong but losing Trent was not something she wanted you to have to ever endure. That was your person. The one that was created and cut, defined and detailed just for you.

“Get her back to me, Lauren. I need her. I am not losing her. You will not lose her. This is stopping now. Whatever you need, just get her back home to me. I’m going to take care of her, I promise.” Trent said sternly. This was over. Being apart was over. Honestly, Trent wanted to just fly to New York right now but he couldn’t because he had a match. He wanted to say fuck football. Trust, he never said that and meant it but he did right now. He knew you’d be mad if he did it and he knew it would cause a stir so he bestowed all his trust in Lauren to get you to him.

As you laid in your bed, Trent was unavoidable in your dreams. He was everywhere. You cried in your sleep. Missing him. You couldn’t get up when your eyes began to flutter open, god knows how much longer later. Enough for Lauren to have your next 24 hours already planned out for you at the least. Your body was paralyzed by the crushing weight feeling as if you ruined your impending marriage and family over a stupid night out you took too far. The tears kept falling. In retrospect, you’re not sure they had stopped for the past few days. You were amazed you had any left in your tear ducts. You thought about how beautiful Trent was and how, in a nearly impossible way, what you created together, Teddy, your baby, was even more beautiful. You could hear their laughs echoing in your head in the most cynical mockery of what you were missing. You missed them so much.

You were filled with a mix of fear, regret, anxiety, heartache, and anticipation when Lauren got you back to your house. You felt your body go cold as you approached your once incredibly warm front door. Lauren stayed outside calling Jude for her own moral support that she needed. You were in a haze but this was really difficult on her as well. You punched in the front door’s code and heard the lock turn and shift. You grabbed the handle and pushed. The smell of your house hit you like a freight train. You could’ve physically fallen over with the amount of memories that flooded your mind at the scent. You covered your face with your hands for a moment and took a deep breath trying to compose yourself. You dropped your bag and your Rimowa at the door just the way you hated Trent did.  The alarm beep rang through the house alerting that a door had opened. The sound was like catnip. You heard the pitter patter of bare feet running clumsily on the hardwood floors. Around the corner swung the most perfect little girl. Her hair laid flat pulled into a bun with a few ringlet curls escaping. She had a light pink shirt on dragging a bear on the ground behind her with one arm holding its paw in her hand. You started to cry immediately.

“Mama!” Teddy cried. Tears coursing down her cheeks. Her initial excitement of who was at the front door halted by the surprise of how much she missed you. This was so unfair to her. You sat on the floor and pulled her into your embrace engulfing her. You sobbing along with her.

“My baby. I missed you so much. I love you so much.  I’m so sorry mummy was away. I’m so sorry, baby.” You pressed your lips to her hair and shut your eyes tight. She didn't really understand why you'd been away but boy was she happy to see you. You never wanted to let go of this little girl. Teddy continued to weep but she slowed eventually. Your hold of her only seeming to get tighter though as she fell into shorter breaths and sounds of hiccups 

“Miss my mama.” She cooed talking into your shirt. You squeezed her that much tighter. Your hand running over her head before you loosened your hold to be able to look at her. You pressed her nose against hers. “Mama no sad.” She whimpered, being able to see how visibly upset you were. It hadn’t actually been more than 72 hours that all this unfolded but you felt like she managed to grow up somehow. She was so emotionally attuned and intelligent. She nuzzled her face into the nape of your neck comforted by your smell and you by hers. 

“Oh baby, I know, I know you missed mama. I missed you so much. I’m not sad, I’m just so happy to see my little Teddy bear, yeah? Were you good for daddy?” The question just fell out like a habit. You shut your eyes barely able to process saying his name to her. It was then you heard ‘daddy’s’ footsteps coming to stand close but what still felt far away watching you in the foyer. He could tell immediately you’d lost weight in the span of days. The curve of your shoulder looked different, your cheekbones just a little more defined. 

“Dada! Mama home!” Teddy pulled away from you and turned around to Trent to tell him the exciting news. He nodded with a smile at her, not looking at you. You weren’t sure if this would be all that exciting of news to him. Nevertheless, you got yourself up on shaky legs. He came over to you in what felt like slow motion. You told yourself you wouldn’t cry. He hated when you cried and you didn’t want to upset him more but you thought you might seeing his gorgeous face again. You had no idea where the two of you stood. He said he was done but you were back home by Lauren's guidance for the sake of your daughter.  She didn’t want to do any of the talking for Trent, she was simply acting as a delivery woman. Trent extended one arm out to you. His big hand grabbing the back of your neck harshly, almost aggressively pulling your sylphlike body into his strong one. He brought his other arm around you slipping low across the small of your back the way he usually did. It was a bone crushing embrace. You felt his chest tremble and then he sniffed in harshly as he began to cry. You made him cry. You shut your eyes, extending the persistence of the horrible feelings you’d had for days. 

“I love you.” You whispered, tucking your face against his neck. Your nose flattened against his soft skin. Teddy stood quietly holding onto your leg not ready to let go. Lauren snuck into the house quietly and grabbed her. “I’m sorry.” you whimpered barely audible. You took a deep breath reveling in the feeling of his warm hold, relief and fear concomitantly falling over you.

“Don’t fucking ever leave us again. Your home, your place in this world is right here in my arms with our little girl. We cannot survive without you here. Do you understand me?” Trent cooed with a stern but shaky voice keeping you tight to his chest. You nodded as your pervasive tears returned. More and more falling the longer he held you. “We love you. God, fuck… I am so in love with you Y/N. Please don’t ever leave me. No matter how much I push, no matter what’s happening, you cannot leave.” He pleaded begging you more than he was instructing you.  

“I don’t want to leave, I don’t want you to not want me anymore. I want to come home, T. You’re the love of my life. You’re the only way I’m able to breathe.” You placed your hand over your heaving chest because your heart began to hurt so badly. 

“You can’t go anywhere else. Not letting you.” He said with a desperate release of air. Your other hand’s nails dug into his cotton t-shirt covering his back. You let him cry, loosening your claw and rubbing circles with your hand on his lower back whilst the other moved off your chest to gently scratch his scalp until he was able to calm down.

“You never cry…” You made the observation giving him a sad smile in between gasping breaths. You wiped the tears under his eyes gently. Guilt and empathy running down your face. 

“You’re worth crying for, baby.” he cupped your cheek. The heartfelt way he said baby to you returning, stilling your racing mind. He looked into your eyes and you felt everything around you disappear. Every worry, every physical thing around you vanishing, only him left. He kissed you and it was like someone restarted your whole nervous system. The cogs in your brain began turning again, the blood in your body began to pump again, your heart began beating again, the color began to rush back into your cheeks. “You owe me a few days of kisses, yeah? Teddy too. She’s desperate, apparently I’m not the same as mama.” He cooed, pulling away momentarily letting you know the work that laid ahead of you before returning his lips to their rightful place on yours.

“Oh no…” you couldn’t help but giggle picturing the conversations they must’ve had. Your lips curling into a toothy smile inadvertently pulling them off his. Listening to the two of them together was precious, you could only imagine what they were saying when they were alone. It made your heart swell seeing those two identical faces together.  “What’d she say?” you asked curious to hear about the exchange. 

“Nah, she had me running, you know? I felt like she knew the game she was playing as well. Dada want this, dada up, dada quiet. Just command after command and then in swept the critiques.” You smiled seeing his eyes light up recalling their days and Teddy’s hold over him.

“No mama does!” She rattled off squirming away as he attempted to do her hair after he placed her on his lap in front of him in a mirror in her room.

“I know she’s the best at it but can you let daddy do it today?” He asked her politely. He pulled her curls back into the best bun he could manage. Brushing it slicked back. She furrowed her brow at the finished product. He looked at her trying to make out why she wasn’t happy. He thought he did a good job.

“Bow! Dada bow, please.” She looked at him back through the mirror like he was dumb pressing her palm onto his thigh. Obviously, he forgot a bow. How did he not know that? He placed it and sighed. He kissed her cheek and plopped her on her own two feet.

“Are we hungry this morning? I am. I’m thinking we have the toastie you like.” Trent cooed looking at her as they walked down the hall inspecting his handiwork on her hair trying to find a flaw that warranted her disgruntled response. Teddy replied with a simple ‘yuck’ keeping her gaze fixed ahead focused on her tiny steps. “What why? What do you want then?” He asked inquisitively with a bit of a smile. It was hard not to laugh at her developing personality. He held her hand but let her navigate the grand staircase in your house roughly by herself. 

“Mama.” She responded to him confidently and calmly knowing not what she wanted to eat but very certain she’d prefer you to be there to make it for her.

“Yeah, well same…” Trent exhaled, inspecting the empty refrigerator he knew you usually filled with all the things you knew he and Teddy liked. It was the little things you did that had disappeared in front of his eyes now missing them tremendously in a day's time.

“I mean… it wasn’t good, baby.” His smile faded as he recalled the last couple days that were filled with some cute moments but more so difficult ones.

“Baby?” You asked, interested if that’s where you stood now. Were you on good terms? One of the last times he said it it really stung.

“Yeah, my baby. Forever but we really need to talk.” He spoke to you softly before taking your hand and guiding you into the cinema. It made you nervous hearing the door shut behind you. The noise reminding you the room had sound proof walls. God, you hoped this wasn’t going to be another loud fight like the one that transpired in your kitchen where you’d need those walls.

“I know we’re talking and it’s serious but…” You took a deep breath and tried to fight back tears. You sat on opposite sides of the couch in the room awkwardly as if you had just met. You looked at him with a pout and puppy dog eyes.  “I’m scared and I really need you. Can you just hold me please?” You whimpered out, quite pathetic. 

“C’mere, pretty girl. This is where you’re supposed to be, yeah?” He smiled softly, loving hearing that you needed him, that he was a comfort to you. You relaxed in his arms, relieved that was the vibe and not you two raising your voices. You laid your head on his shoulder. Trent hugged you tightly and you couldn’t hold back the tears that began to run down your face. You bawled his shirt in your fists.

“T… Who was that in the photos?” You sheepishly asked, unable to keep it inside anymore. You wanted to get what felt like the hard bit out of the way. You were lying to yourself and using him as a scapegoat. This wasn’t the hard part by a long shot. No matter his answer, there was a massive elephant in the room and it was you but you couldn’t shake the photos online of him and that woman. The thought of someone else, another girl spending time alone with him. Her somehow becoming his best friend. Him choosing her over you. 

“Baby…” He drew out the pet name, saddened you’d seen the photos and imagined something completely incorrect. 

“If you did, I’d understand.” You cut him off before he even answered you, excusing an action he didn’t do. He dropped his head back against the couch frustrated this was still where you were at, that things didn’t magically change when you walked back into the house. You believed he could treat you like that and it would be an okay thing, something you might’ve deserved.

“Stop. I didn’t do anything. It was George’s cousin. Baby… we gotta work through this. You need to understand I’m committed to you. This is why I met with her. You need…” He trailed off feeling awkward and terrible for what he was about to say. “ You need help.” He muttered out. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for it all, T, the final, New York.  I never wanted to hurt you.” You apologized earnestly.

“You didn’t hurt me, I mean you did but I’m more concerned about you hurting yourself. I was scared. I know Lauren told Jude not to but baby, we’re all really worried. They both told me about what happened in the apartment in New York…” He sighed hating that you were even having to have this conversation. You exhaled his name, defeated feeling the same. “Nah, I don’t want a defense or excuse. I can’t lose you.” He tried to deter you from the innate need to defend yourself. 

“Before Wembley… I don’t know. I got too drunk and I was alone and I got sad. It was a one off.” You had no ground to stand on, any reasoning would’ve been illogical but you felt the words jumbled rolling off your tongue. 

“It’s not. When Lauren visited, you got so sad, baby. It’s just not, you’ve said it’s happened before. Your dad told me, Winnie’s told me, Lauren’s told me. It might not be happening in front of me but it’s happening. Baby, I get that it…” He tried to keep talking to you but you gave him a face you gave to a lot of people. A facade of interest. A mask being pulled in front of your face, the elastic band snapping behind your head securing it. “Don’t…” he reprimanded you knowing it all too well. “Fine, I can’t understand but I imagine it’s hard to talk about. I’m scared. I’ll be the one to say it, alright? I’m fucking scared, Y/N.” He sheepishly admitted to you. Feeling like he failed by doing so. “We need to go to a doctor. I don’t mean this derogatorily I just think someone could help. I'm out of my depth here. I don’t want anything to happen to you. To my Y/N. To my baby’s mum.” He defeatedly let out. You could feel his heart racing pressed against you. You had so much to say but nothing would come out. You cuddled into him, laying your head on his chest. “I love you so much.” He whispered, breathing you in. Transitioning from sheer desperation to admiration for your body in his hands right now. Jesus Christ, what had happened? In a weird way he began to wonder if he felt like he had used you. “Am I making things worse?” He questioned you terrified of your potentially heartbreaking answer. You shook your head ‘no.’ Why didn’t this stuff go on in front of him? The inability to keep up with a golden boy wasn’t the problem but it was hard to not feel downtrodden. Trent was empathetic, he could hear it in the way you cried in the kitchen before you left.

'You expect me to be this perfect version 24/7 but I’m not. I’m not!” You kept crying. “I’m sorry. Fuck! I’m sorry, I’m trying but I can’t be like you, okay?” You whimpered, feeling defeated and broken.'

You didn’t really blame Trent for being good at well… life. Instead, you felt a crushing amount of guilt and shame for not simply being enough. The inability to measure up not to him but for him. You felt so tender in his arms like if he moved suddenly or too rough you’d break or bruise. He thought about the way he had sex with you, the way he uprooted you to England, the way he got you pregnant. He felt horrible that he inflicted so much on you physically. He just wanted to take care of you but alternatively, you’d never felt less used. The exact scenarios he was recalling flashed through your mind in the most blissfully painful way. You shut your eyes again. You wouldn’t change a thing, a lie, maybe a few things on your end but overall, no. His hands on you felt alleviating and comforting all the time. Even if he was fucking you roughly, even if you were jet lagged flying places to see him, even the grueling process of labor was fine all because he was there. 

“Thank you for caring.” You muttered out embarrassingly honestly, finally finding some words that you felt wholeheartedly would be good to start with. Trent’s heart, if it hadn’t already when he saw you come back into your house, it surely did just completely shatter. He kissed your hair and then over your ear before whispering to you. 

“I will always care about you. More than you could ever understand. I will do anything for you…” he paused and let out a breathy sigh. “Anything.” The warmth of his breath, the drag of his lips moving down your skin sent a shiver running up your spine. 

“T, we shouldn't, it's too soon.” You moaned feeling his lips cascade down the length of your jaw. The mood in the room shifting in slow motion. He didn’t mean to, it just was instinctual. His big hands moving the fabric of your top further and further up, finding more and more of your bare skin. You pushed yourself back into him, rolling your head to the side. Telling him one thing out loud and asking for something completely different silently. 

“It’s fine. We’re fine, baby. We’re gonna be fine.”  He rattled off, not able to think very clearly lost in a very thick haze feeling your body again.

“We can’t do this, T. I have more to say.” You whined, not meaning half the words you said. You definitely wanted to do this but you also did have more to say. He had no control at this point and you hated that it turned you on so much. His desire for you would always trump any sense of reasoning you had. You couldn’t stop him because the sensations running through you were invincible. The physical attraction and the sexual desire between you would always pull you back together. 

“No, no, this is going to be really good. I fucking need you. I missed you so much..” You turned towards him with a desperate look on your face. Your eyes filled with lust. Trent could get hard off the look on your face alone but feeling you again, touching you again was setting him off. He pulled you into a messy make out gripping your face before pushing you backwards onto more of the couch crawling over you. “We need this. You need this.” He whispered, breathing you in and moving his kisses to your neck. You kept him close to you pulling him to you by his face. His hands dropped to your waist. He was right, you needed this, you needed him. His soft warm hands pushed your shirt up to feel more of you. 

“I love you, baby.” You murmured your lips unable to not pull into a smile. He sighed into the crook of your neck hearing you say that. You brought your legs to wrap around him digging your heels into his back. You couldn’t think about anything else but him for the last few days and right now was no different. 

“I love you so much.” He cooed and his voice never sounded more caring and honest. He spoke into your warm skin, kissing them into the most sensitive part of your neck. The whole thing feels more intimate than ever. Love filling the room to the brim. He reached between you and looped the two layers of his boxer and trousers pulling both off. He revealed his tone v line and you let out an embarrassing moan, you taking your own clothes off swiftly. He pulled away from you and looked at your bare body. You felt so naked and vulnerable, he could sense your nerves. He tilted your face towards his holding your cheek. “What are you being shy about? It’s just me, yeah?” He waited for you. You nodded pulling him back into a kiss. You sighed in the kiss dragging your nails up his chest. He repositioned his body over yours and dragged the tip of his leaking cock through your folds. 

“T… please, I need you.” You whined. He smiled happy you were back to your normal comfortable self with him. He slowly eased into your dripping wet pussy. You moaned as Trent treaded carefully moving slowly inside. His face fell into your neck groaning at the feeling of you wrapping around him. He moved slowly but precisely. Your nails dug into his back as he kissed your skin. Each stroke loving and thoughtful. He picked up his pace though lost in the feeling. 

“You feel so good, baby.” He grunted pushing your thigh up further to your side, hitting deeper inside you. The grip of his fingers on you dug into your soft thigh. He found the spot inside you only knew, only for him, only for you, repeatedly 

“Baby, oh my god, T. I missed you. I’m so sorry. I love you.” You were unable to stop your babbles. Tears began to fill your waterline.

“Don’t be. I love you. You’re here with me. Be here with me. Fuck, you feel so good. Let me take care of you” He inhaled a sharp breath. His dimples s sank into cheeks as he gave a sincerely sad and sympathetic smile. “Tell me your mine, baby.” He murmured continuing to thrust into in a way that was so euphoric your tears began to fall. His voice was breathy against your ear feeling the same amount of emotion you were feeling. The weight of his body on top of yours feeling like nothing compared to the weight lifting off you two. Your orgasm approached faster and faster, minute after minute. He bit onto your earlobe and tugged, grabbing your attention. 

“I’m yours, Trent. I’m always gonna be yours.” You whimpered. His mahogany eyes poured back into yours. He felt his heart skip a beat when you pulled him back down into a kiss. He fucked you harder with a harsh grunt juxtaposed by the sweetest kiss to the bridge of your nose. Your hand dragged down from behind his neck down the protruding veins of his arms until you reached the rigid texture of the Patek Phillipe watch he had wrapped on his wrist. The knot in your stomach tightened. It only took a few more mind numbing thrusts before Trent’s head dropped into your neck. Your climax erupting inside of you, your vision going white. His cock throbbed inside of you, beginning to paint your walls. You moaned ‘I love yous’ simultaneously. You felt him pouring into you. Waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through both of you. You hid your face against him. He slowed and you felt your bottom lip quiver against his skin. An uncontrollable sob escaped you. Your emotions bubbled over once more. Trent pulled out as gently as he could. He rolled off of you but was swift pulling you back into him. You clung to him crying. 

“I’m right here.” He whispered, pulling you that much closer to him and yet it wasn’t close enough. You wanted to be completely surrounded by him. “Can you look at me, baby?”  He sounded so worried. You shook your head ‘no.’  “Y/N…” He grabbed your face gently and turned you towards him. “I need to know you’re okay.” He asked softly. More tears escaped.

“I’m okay… just love you so much, T.” You pouted up at him and you felt his tense hold relax. “I love you.” He pressed a wet kiss to your cheek the way you always pretended to hate but secretly loved. You wiped his wet spit off of you and giggled. Trent felt relief wash over him when he heard his favorite sound in the world. 

“Oh wow… so mummy and daddy are… fine.” Lauren laughed carrying Teddy past the cinema minutes okay from upstairs into the kitchen. She was currently FaceTiming Jude biding her time while watching Teddy for you and Trent to ‘talk.’ “I think they’re fine. I mean they’re fucking so it’s either a really good thing or a really bad thing.” She laughed. Hoping for the first option. “Should we make you some lunchtime, hmm?” She cooed to the little girl in her arms while Teddy eagerly nodded trying to grab hold of her phone curious about Jude on the other end. 

“You’re good with kids, Laur.” Jude spoke through her phone with a cheeky smile seeing her so attentive and kind to Teddy. 

“I think I’m just good with Teddy. She's chill so it doesn’t really count. I know this is how it works but she’s the perfect blend of them. All the best things I like rolled into the cutest, squishiest, baby girl in the whole world!” Lauren sang in a soft voice, pinching at Teddy’s tummy. Her squeal shrieking through the phone, Jude blinking his eyes a few times, taken aback by her response to Lauren.

“All done mama!” Teddy yelled as you met them in the kitchen, flush. You pressed a kiss to Teddy's hair on your way to get the water you needed desperately before attending to her. She had finished eating the lunch Lauren kindly had made for her.  

“Good girl.” You cooed with a smile. Lauren sat with a smug look on her face as she waited for the inevitable late entrance of Trent, who, when he did stride in, looked absolutely fucking elated.

“Dada miss mama,” Teddy told you as she saw Trent enter. It was an over simplified way saying Trent had really missed you. He sadly and softly smiled at you hearing her. Your heart broke a little that she’d been able to piece it together, that she could sense Trent’s sad mood. 

“Mummy loves you so much.” He’d reassure her feeling completely unsure of what was going on in your relationship.The few nights you were away Trent would tuck Teddy in as she cried.  Teddy would fall asleep only comforted by Trent babbling on little stories and tidbits about you, how perfect you were, how much you likely missed her. They’d watch videos of you and he’d melt.  “Want to see something baby? Want to see the day I met mummy?” He laughed remembering a specific video he had on his phone, he wanted to watch. Teddy nodded tiredly, adjusting to the new routine activity. He was a little embarrassed he even had it but it made him remember a really good time despite things being so bad right now. You likely didn’t even know this video existed. He kept it in a locked folder on his phone primarily where all your nudes and let’s say spicer videos lived. He smiled seeing you like that. Vulnerable, needy for him and in love. You looked gorgeous. He dragged his thumb over the screen. He just wanted to feel your soft skin again as he carefully picked the video of you out of the roll making sure not to pick the wrong one before he showed Teddy. It was a video Marcel had sent around in a snapchat which seemed mundane at the time. He remembered Jude teasing him about it the following day as you laid on his chest, experiencing a new warm feeling of comfort. The video was strangely endearing, like you could see your connection in real time. Energy and force pushing you together. The earth letting out a sigh of relief finally getting two people that were meant to be connected.

“Mama pwety.” Teddy looked up at him cuddling a plush bear with big sleepy eyes as they looked at the thumbnail before he pressed play. He nodded at her.  “Yeah, you have the most beautiful mummy in the world.” He confirmed to your daughter with a sigh before he hit play. Hearing your coquettish laugh in the video cozying up to him in a club years ago just about sent him into cardiac arrest. It hurt. God, did it hurt. 

“Oh, I missed you both lots.” You cooed, kissing her. She smiled, little dimples indenting in her cheeks. A very visual confirmation she was Trent’s little girl. You’ve said it before but you were comedically jealous of the genetics Teddy was inheriting from him. 

“More plebs!” Teddy screamed, grabbing for you. “Mama, miss!” She giggled loving that you were back and really loving your kisses, kicking her feet in her chair. She greedily hummed. “Lub my mummy.” She squealed excitedly. You wanted to cry but you didn’t want to stop kissing her to so you held off. 

“Mummy gives the best kisses, huh?” Trent cooed, bending over in front of Teddy to plant a kiss on your cheek with a hum. 

“You’d know…” Lauren quipped cheekily eliciting a proud  augh from Trent and a raised eyebrow from you. 

When Teddy eventually got sleepy you brought her upstairs for sleep. You went to her nursery and you pouted seeing that Trent had nestled one of your softest jumpers in her crib, the smell of you still lingering. There was a little framed photo of your family moved from its original place propped closer for her to see. You started crying so hard you had to sit down. You couldn’t believe you put your child through this, you couldn’t believe you put Trent through this. Trent came upstairs and you met him in your bedroom after you had calmed yourself down on your own. He held you in bed in a close cuddle. 

“I can’t remember ever going to bed without saying goodnight before. I hated this so much, baby.” You whispered into the dark room as he caressed your warm skin under a tiny camisole you had on. 

“We’re never doing this again. I’m sorry I got so upset.” He cooed behind the shell of your ear pressing his lips against you. You both stayed awake in a warm cuddle. You didn’t know what time it was but it as the color of sky outside fell into that warm navy color, you’d guess around 4 am though. 

“Do you still want to marry me?” You asked after a few hours of not talking, just happy to be back in his arms and good graces. Neither of you wanted to fall asleep but not out of worry, but out of comfort. You didn’t want to lose the cognizance of his presence, what he felt like, what he smelt like. 

“Not a single second went by where I ever questioned that, okay?” He hummed. You smiled through a pout. You’d hope that was true. He meant it though. He didn’t waver in his commitment to you. He told Tyler he had no plans of leaving you. Through all of this it didn’t even pop in his head you would call off the marriage. Maybe he was angry and didn’t like how things currently were but not have you, not marry you? Never. You turned around in his arms and pressed a kiss to his lips. He kissed you back and shut his eyes, getting tired, not being able to keep them open anymore. You let him rest but you stayed awake inspecting his features. You brought your hand up to his face and tracing his perfectly plump lips. You brushed your thumb over his high cheekbones. You started to fall asleep then dropping your face in his neck, tucked carefully under his chin, wrapping your arms around his waist, legs tangled together. You kissed his warm skin drowsily, letting him know how much you loved him even while he slept. He woke up first the next day. He did the same as you did last night inspecting your features. The morning sun seeped through your blinds. The golden light casting over you. You looked radiant and luminescent but your soul, your heart, he could feel it. It was more striking than your beauty. He kissed your forehead before pulling you that much tighter to him. 

Trent had his last game of the season. It was a little surreal mostly because you realized that when the next season began you would be married, the surname on the jersey you were in, would be your own. Lauren and Marcel accompanied you along with Teddy. You wished Marcel would shut up so you could live in your moment of bliss imagining being his brother’s wife and admire Trent in peace. The way sweat dripped over his adams apple, his jersey sticking a little to his abs, his cheekbones highlighted by the floodlights. He looked unreal. Lauren went inside and Marcel looked at you curiously. You could feel his eyes but you ignored him until he spoke.

“Going to tell me how things have been?” He looked at you completely ignoring the game now. You rolled your eyes but he was persistent. 

“Yeah, all fine” You said dismissively, keeping your eyes on Trent whilst tucking a loose curl behind Teddy’s ear. He rolled his eyes now at you.

“Y/N… you know you have to let us in, let him in, let me in. I don’t get why you didn't tell me to begin with?” He spoke, sounding heartfelt, keeping his gaze fixed on you. 

“When was I supposed...” You sighed stopping yourself from starting to defend yourself but you could see his brow raise in annoyance. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t want to scare anyone.” You exhaled feeling a lot of guilt wash over you. He was one of your best friends and you had been extremely selfish not considering how he must’ve felt and dense assuming he wouldn’t want to know.

“Well, you did a really bad job.” He laughed and it made you smile. You felt relieved he was at least being normal again with you.  

“Marce… “ You sheepishly got out. “I’m so sorry” you apologized earnestly, leaning your head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of yours.

“We love you. Just want mummy healthy, right Ted?” He cooed picking up Teddy from you from under her arms. Her eyes lit up. 

‘Lub mama, Celly!” She giggled, reaching to hug him wrapping herself around his neck. You pulled her Liverpool jersey down for her covering her back. You smiling at her voice. She loved him so much. To be fair, Marcel just had good vibes and since having Teddy you felt like kids had a great gauge of people. There was something that was so endearing about her relationship with him. She trusted him and was comforted by him, it made you feel incredibly relaxed knowing she’d always have her uncles and your sister. 

“I’m so glad you’re mine.” Trent whispered, kissing your head. You held Teddy and smiled for the annual end of season family photo you so loved. Trent was staring at you though not the cameras. You had gone down onto the pitch for one final lap after the match. It was lovely as always. Sweet and a bit emotional. 

“Always yours.” You cooed, turning to kiss him. Teddy quick to want the same amount of attention you were giving each other. She pulled at your shirt with a cute grunt. “Yes, yes and you are ours, Teddy girl.” You kissed her with an eccentric ‘Mwah!’ her giggle following.

When you finally were driving home, you were tired, Teddy already fast asleep, and Trent absolutely exhausted. Needless to say it was a quiet ride. You looked at Trent as the colored lights lining the motorway leaked into the car. You smiled admiring his beauty. His focus on the road but yours on his jawline strikingly sharp. 

“What are you staring at me for?” He laughed, calling you out, flashing his eyes your way quickly. You giggled sliding your hand over onto his face brushing your thumb over his cheek.

“You’re so pretty. Do you know that?” You cooed admiring his annoying perfect skin, despite his annoyingly minimal effort.

“Yeah, obviously.” He replied with a straight face before he couldn’t hold in the cheeky childish smile he was trying to keep down. His perfect grin made your heart hurt. He was so pretty but you rolled your eyes at his pompousness. “Don’t pull a bird like you looking anything but leng.” He turned his adorable look to you.

“Yeah? How did you even manage to bag me?” You teased with a giggle. His smile staying put hearing the sound but he rolled his eyes at your joke. He tapped at his cheek with his free hand, keeping the other draped over the steering wheel. You raised your eyebrows at his gesture.

“Go on…” He instructed you. You laughed again and pressed a kiss where his fingers had been tapping. “Thank youuu.” He sang.

“Ridiculous.” You reached over again to him and squeezed his thigh. 

“Erm… Ow? I just played 97 minutes. Keep your hands to yourself.” He quipped. You squeezed his thigh again just because. You knew he liked the attention. He loves when you give it to him and he can just annoy you in return. 

“You love my hands on you. So full of it, you know.” You giggled with one more squeeze than attempted to remove your hand but he was quick to place his over top of it to keep it on him. 

“I do. I really love your hands on me.” He cooed in a voice that made you feel like you had a juvenile crush on him. You were flustered by the flirtatious comment. He could feel your arm tense a little so instead of keeping your hand on his thigh, he picked it up and brought it up to his lips to kiss the back of it.

“T… do you want to take me on a date this week?” You asked him bluntly, turning the direction of the conversation. You liked him flirting with you right now and you wanted more. You thought it’d be nice to have a night out just you two. Probably a good thing considering what had transpired.

“Yeah? Want me to?” He smiled big again squeezing your hand. You nodded in an adorably naive way.  “Yeah, beautiful, I’ll take you out.” He cooed turning towards you again. His mind beginning to comb through ideas of where he wanted to take you. You leaned over once more unprovoked to give him another kiss on the cheek before you tucked back in your seat shutting your eyes and resting your head onto the window. “Alright, sleepy girls, we’re home.” Trent’s voice waking you up from a daze you didn’t know you had fallen into. You turned to him with a tired pout as if to ask ‘can you please carry me inside?’ He laughed getting out of the car. He came around and opened your door but then he stepped away and opened the back seat. “I’m gonna carry our literal baby but if you want to wait I’ll come back and get you.” He mocked you. You obviously weren’t going to wait outside so you begrudgingly got out of the car yourself. Trent picked up Teddy gently making sure she didn’t wake. He held her tight to him. You shut the door of the car for him and followed them, proceeding to slip your arms around his waist and resting your forehead against his back. He shook his head as he got both his sleepy girls to bed. 

The next day you were getting ready to go to Dianne’s house up in your bedroom's wardrobe. You were doing your best to get back into your routine. Lauren was still there, leaving soon, but you had promised Dianne you’d go see her with Teddy. She heard rumblings about the situation, naturally. Trent had confided in her early on in your relationship when you first let it slip you had struggled with your health to him. He’d never really thought about something like that affecting someone he knew. He had girl friends and girlfriends but he never had a sister he had to share a bathroom with growing up. He didn’t know girls were skipping meals and doing diets or maybe the more extreme things you had been doing that you shared with him. She of course was empathetic to him and did her best to be a sounding board and not intrude but as a mum, as a person who knew you and loved you, she was concerned. So you promised you’d go. 

“Hey… have you seen my Van Clef?” you asked vaguely to Trent. “Like our one?” You clarified more as you were trying to put final touches on your outfit.  He puffed out some air realizing that he was going to have to confront his mistake head on. He hated himself. He had been trying to avoid it but of course you were looking for it, you wore it almost everyday.

“Baby…” he called you, watching nervously. You hummed acknowledging him as you dug through your wardrobe thinking maybe you had misplaced it. “It’s not here.” He told you sheepishly. You gave him a side eye confused but when he didn’t speak you turned your whole body to him. 

“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” At first, maybe you thought this was some sweet ploy of his. He came to you and slipped his hands around your waist. When he dropped his forehead against yours you felt the energy shift in the room. This wasn’t some goofy thing he was serious about something. 

“I had to bring it in to get repaired.” He got his words out so slow you clung to each one in anticipation. Your brow furrowed. He exhaled, dropping his shoulders. He wished he could lie but he knew it'd be wrong to. He was asking you to be honest with him; it would be incredibly hypocritical. “I found it when you were gone and I don’t know I just snapped and then it snapped.” He shut his eyes. You let out a measly ‘oh’ you felt the things he did when it happened. That necklace was your relationship and he had destroyed it. You were definitely in the wrong but it made you feel so sad you were actively trying not to cry or react. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t know what happened it just felt like such a punch in the gut finding it. I though that you didn’t want it or you left it, left me… it hurt. I’m sorry. Fuck.” He babbled incredibly quickly. You usually were fine with his accented words but your eyes narrowed trying to focus your spinning mind on what he was saying. His accent would come in thick sometimes and disappear other days. Relaxing with his friends at home, their words could feel like another language. Nervous doing press, he was more conscious of what he was saying, letting it slip away. 

“It’s fine… I guess.” You gave him a soft smile wishing you didn’t say the last bit. “I understand.” You kissed the tip of his nose and pulled yourself out of his hold. The room went ice cold. Trent’s mind was just filled with his inner voice screaming ‘fuck.’ It was hard not to notice the mood change after that. He hated it. “T, I didn’t leave it on purpose…” you told him right before you left, kissing his cheek, holding Teddy and heading to your car. You were so swift; he didn't even have the opportunity to respond.

“Laur... what am I meant to do here? Things aren’t just going to snap back.” Trent sighed, squinting, picking up his hand to shield his eyes to better make out Lauren’s face. They were sitting in your back garden as the English summer sun beat down on them. They stayed at home while you popped to Dianne’s. Despite your upset about your necklace it did make you happy that your best friend and your fiance “I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like a kid. I feel like I’m making stupid mistakes.” Trent was thinking about breaking the necklace. You’d probably be just as upset if he had managed to break your engagement ring but in a way this had stung more. The necklace was a decision he made before, a decision he made off of instinct, under your nose, completely infatuated by you. It was such an indication of how he felt about you from the very beginning and it was gone. A part of you was happy you didn’t have any visual of it all.

“You’re not but I know the feeling. If you didn’t pick up I was going to call your mum the other day. I was in a moment of introspection on the flight over and I almost laughed. Your mum? Oh hiya erm… can you help… embarrassing.” Lauren rattled off what felt like a million different thoughts. She shook her head but noticed Trent faint smirk on his face not pulling into a full smile but drifting into a tight line. 

“Maybe we should’ve.” He reflected. Maybe Dianne would’ve been more of a help than him. “Like she’s fine most of the time right? I make her happy? I try so hard and yet some days I can feel it like nothing could ever change it all.” He spoke looking and sounded defeated. 

“It’s not you T… She loves you so much. You make her happy, she’ll be okay, but she is the only one that can change it. You’re there for her and that’s the most important. She needs you and Teddy.” Lauren kept her eyes locked on his, making sure he knew she was being serious. She meant what she was saying. He couldn’t fix things but he was essential. Trent responded only with a soft ‘yeah.’ He thought to himself though that what you really needed was for him to repair your necklace and your relationship.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 21 xx

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

[bballlvr8]

COVENTRY — UConn women’s basketball star Azzi Fudd knew there would be challenges when she suffered a season-ending ACL tear just two games into her junior year, but she wasn’t prepared for the snowy sidewalks in Storrs.

Recovering from surgery at her family home in Arlington, Virginia, wasn’t easy, but it was straightforward. Her parents brought her meals down to her bedroom. She could hobble up the short flight of stairs to spend time with her younger brothers. When she returned to Connecticut, Fudd was confronted by the reality that even walking to and from her car would be hugely difficult.

“Trust me, I had my moments. … When I went back to campus, I only had one in-person class but I still had class, and it was snowing,” Fudd said with a chuckle. “Even just from outside to the gym is still a 20-foot path with snow, and at that point I was kind of walking, but it was very awkward. It was just a bunch of little things that I didn’t think would be an issue.”

Fudd tore her right ACL and medial meniscus during a practice on Nov. 14, 2023, days before the Huskies played their third game of the season at home against Maryland. She underwent season-ending surgery in early December. The former No. 1 overall prospect in the class of 2021 has played just 40 games over three years at UConn.

Fudd’s days of struggling down the sidewalk felt far away though as she demonstrated a shooting drill she runs as part of her daily workouts for a group of enraptured attendees during her youth basketball camp at Coventry High School on Sept. 21. The release NBA superstar Stephen Curry once compared to Klay Thompson’s looks as smooth and automatic as ever as she moves from spot to spot, first in the midrange, then around the 3-point arc. She makes every single one — her mom, Katie, who helps run the camp, quips after a ball circles the rim before falling that it counts as a miss.

Fudd is quick to clarify though: She still can’t play. The redshirt junior still needs to clear a final set of tests with her doctors before she can participate in contact or game-speed activities at practice. Fudd knows she should appreciate how far she’s come, but the star guard feels herself itching to be back in the actual game, that last layer of limitation almost taunting her

“I feel like this has tested my patience in a different way,” Fudd said. “I feel really good and I feel like I could be, not playing 100%, but I could be doing more. But I’m taking my time and making sure that I’m perfecting the stuff that I am doing in the phase that I’m in before I progress to the next step, which I know it’s good for me. It’s very frustrating at times, but … it’s just reminding myself that I’ve been through this and I know it’s going to pay off.”

Fudd grappled with injuries throughout her previous two seasons at UConn — she missed 11 games with a nagging foot issue her freshman year, and 22 with an unrelated knee injury as a sophomore — but the pop in her knee last November was sickeningly familiar. Fudd knew exactly what an ACL tear felt like, because she had already experienced the injury. She tore the ACL and MCL, also in her right knee, during a USA Basketball U18 3×3 tournament in 2019 and missed her entire junior season of high school.

At 15 years old, Fudd remembers completely falling apart after doctors confirmed the severity of her injury. But when it happened again five years later, Fudd’s mind went straight to beginning recovery. She knew the pain she was about to experience, but she also knew what to expect from the lengthy rehab process. She came back from it once, and that gave her certainty that she could do it again.

“My first one I remember my car ride from my MRI, and I was just crying and crying the whole time. It was so bad,” Fudd said. “This one, I heard and it processed, and I was like, ‘Damn, okay. What’s next?’

“It’s been so completely different having been through it and knowing what to expect. Knowing how hard it is, but also knowing that I can handle it and I’m gonna overcome it has also been helpful.”

Though there were also two tears involved in Fudd’s last major knee injury, the meniscus tear slowed the healing process more dramatically than the MCL did back in 2019. Then she could throw herself into rehab almost immediately, but she spent weeks after surgery in Arlington unable to put any weight on the leg. Fudd said her saving grace during the early days of recovery was her family, so much so that it made her transition back to UConn for the spring semester more jarring than she expected.

“I was home for like a month, and first of all, I hadn’t been home for that long since probably COVID,” Fudd said with a laugh. “But they were everything I needed. My brothers, my parents, even my grandma who could barely keep herself together, they were all helping me with everything I needed … Going back to school was really rough for me. I didn’t realize how much my family was doing for me, and just the ease of going to see my PT guy and home and then coming home to get in my bed.”

But Fudd quickly found a new form of comfort in a band of teammates who were also grappling with the heartbreak of season-ending injuries and the grueling work of rehab. The team was fully healthy on the day Fudd tore her ACL except for redshirt freshman Jana El Alfy, who ruptured her Achilles at the FIBA U19 World Cup over the summer. By the time Fudd returned to campus in January, there were three more players sidelined for the year: Caroline Ducharme with head and neck spasms, Ayanna Patterson after patellar tendonitis surgery and Aubrey Griffin with her own ACL tear.

“I had an entire squad of injured people with me on the bench, which obviously is not what you want, but it was nice to know I wasn’t alone,” Fudd said. “I couldn’t imagine being the only injured person. Like we had our crippled powwow before games where we were just like man, we’re not playing. It could be the Final Four or some random Big East game, and we’re not out there. Just being able to feel that and be vulnerable with other people experiencing that goes a long way.”

thanks anon 💞

[abiiors]

okay so while we’re on the topic… i’m a newer fan of the boys, i actually got tickets to one of their concerts back in october when they were touring in america from my aunt even though i had never really been a fan of them (her heart was in the right place 😭😭 bc i do listen to a lot of music that’s like in their sphere ig?? and i’ve been to festivals that they’ve performed at so i can see why she would’ve thought to get me those tickets, i just never really listened to their music before) but i went to the show regardless bc hello free concert tickets?? would have been a sin to let them go to waste tbh and oh my god am i so glad i did, it was actually one of the best shows i’ve ever been too!! especially considering i only really knew their popular songs?? like robbers, somebody else, aaaand it’s not living if it’s not with you

ANYWAYS that being said, since i had never really followed them before i always pretty much ignored anything i saw about them on twitter and stuff, mainly the negative things said abt matty bc not my faves, not my business?? but i gotta ask someone who’s been a fan of them for a lot longer than i have, what iiiis the deal with all the “matty healy racist” “matty healy homophobic” “matty healy [insert smth hateful here]” rhetoric??? bc from what i’ve seen of him after getting to know more abt the band he doesn’t appear that way at all?? like were there things he said that were taken out of context??? what’s up with the nazi accusations??? also homophobic??? is twt not aware of what he did in malaysia?? also straight men that are homophobic would never have the kind of close male friendships that the band have with one another… it seems like he’s twitter’s scapegoat tbh but idk i’m simply so confused and anything i find online trying to explain it all seems very biased based off the language they use so if you can/would like to… pls help 😭

okay first of all, welcome to the fandom!! i'm so glad you're here and i'm so glad you got to see them live!! they genuinely are so so incredible <33

now onto the questions!

i won't say matty's a saint. he's definitely done things in the past that are disappointing (to me at least, as well as to many others on here). last year he went on a podcast called the adam friedland show where many tasteless jokes were made about japanese people, the porn website ghetto gaggers, ice spice as well as countless other tastelss things were said.

now i really really want to clarify that matty never made those jokes but he did laugh along to them which is also a shitty fucking thing to do. he's since said that he was advised not to go on the podcast by people close to him and he still did it. however, he's also publicly apologised to ice spice and she's also said that the 1975 are one of her fav artists.

in may of 2023 he started allegedly dating taylor swift (i still don't believe it, i still think they either just made music or they just fucked or both) which exposed him to a whole new level of fame that was unprecedented. and the swifties are... rabid, to say the least. they made fun of his appearance, his past addiction issues, hoped he would have a relapse and die, all sorts of horrendous stuff. they discovered the podcast which was pretty fresh at the time and the whole thing spiralled into him being labelled a racist, homophobe, transphobe, pedophile, nazi, you name it, he was being called it.

however literally NONE of it was backed by evidence (but i don't expect people whose sole source of information is twt to realise that)

they have clearly never learned what a nazi is. i'm not even going to try to debunk that here because i feel like it would be insulting to your intelligence

he's not homophobic or transphobic, he's literally an ally to the point of being a fruity lil shit. he's been banned from 2 countries (dubai and malaysia) for openly supporting queer rights. they were also briefly jailed in malaysia for the stunt they pulled and had a lawsuit filed against them. he's even won ally of the year at the diva awards in 2019

literally every single fan who's ever met him has had nothing but amazing things to say about him. he's been incredibly kind and sweet to people

the band has always been openly political and vocal about their beliefs

you're absolutely right about him being the twitter scapegoat because unfortunately that's exactly what it is </3

i hope that clears things up tho, i'm sorry this is so long!!

[natrogersfics]

The One... With The Honeymoon

Artwork by @faith2nyc Happy 5th (eek!) Anniversary to the day A Little Favor was posted! Paris is overrated. Natasha’s aware of how blasphemous her opinion might sound to many, but it’s one she can’t help but hold. It’s not uncommon to hear people talk about the enchantment they feel simply by walking down the cobblestone streets or by sitting down at a café to watch others go about their day, and while she could concede that Paris is indeed as picturesque as cities come, with a culture and history rich and profound, its allure has always proven elusive to her. If there’s indeed a certain magic in its streets, it’s as though it was interested in encompassing everyone but her.

From where she stands on the main deck of the yacht, though, reminiscing about the last week she and Steve have spent in the city as she takes in the waters of the Seine shimmering under the moonlight, she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she was wrong. 

Despite the four years that have passed since she and Steve said I do, agreeing to take time off for just the two of them was not an easy sell. Their daughter notwithstanding, it seemed preposterous to embark on their honeymoon with The Daily’s anniversary issue imminent and Steve’s exhibit opening up at the gallery in a few months, but their friends and family were having none of it. They had put off their honeymoon long enough, they all had argued, and between the promises from both their mothers to send pictures of Isabel every day and the not-so-veiled threats from Pepper to have IT lock both of them out of the system, she and Steve had reluctantly agreed. 

And so began their week of pure, unadulterated bliss. Void of distractions, time felt as if it had slowed to a crawl, spanning endlessly and giving her and Steve the opportunity to leisurely explore every nook and cranny of Paris. It’s then that the city finally exploded in vibrant color for her, too. She’d been to all the sights before, but somehow, taking all of it in has never felt the way it has when she and Steve were strolling through them together, hand in hand. It’s as though the glass houses in the Jardin des Plantes gleamed brighter in the morning sun and the history of the pieces in the Louvre – the backgrounds of which she was already privy to – elicited something more visceral with Steve’s additional perspective. But it wasn’t only the sights. The wine at every dinner tasted richer, the strawberries on the Fraisier sweeter, and at the end of each day, when they inevitably ended up lost in one another, it’s as though their touches lingered, electric.  

A shiver runs down her spine, breaking her reverie, but whether that’s from the delicious memories of the previous days or the kiss Steve dusts to her shoulder as he wraps his arms around her from behind, she’s unsure.

“Something’s brewing in that mind of yours.” 

“Funny,” she says, turning in his arms and placing her palms flat on his chest. She looks up at him from underneath her lashes as she points out, “That didn’t seem to bother you all week long.” 

“I never said it was a bad thing.” His chest rumbles with a chuckle as he clasps his hands at the small of her back, pulling her in closer. “What’s going on, baby?”  

“I just…” she bites her lip, reluctant. But then his forehead creases ever so slightly with worry, prompting her to shake her head. “I’ll admit that when you suggested we go to Paris, I was apprehensive-” 

“Nat,” he interrupts, his expression falling. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I don’t regret coming here,” she clarifies quickly, sighing when confusion paints his features. “Everyone always talks about Paris like it’s some magical place, and I just never understood it.” She shrugs. “Every time I come here, I’ve always felt as though there’s something missing.”  

Steve smirks. “A dinner on the Seine courtesy of Tony Stark?” 

“I mean, I’m definitely not complaining,” she says, tilting her head back as they both share a laugh. “But-”

“Monsieur, madame.” They both turn to see Julien, their host, standing by the doorway leading back to the main cabin, a sheepish smile on his face. “Pardon the interruption, but we have arrived.” 

Vaguely, she hears the thanks Steve sends Julien’s way, but if there’s more to the exchange, she doesn’t hear it. The second she looks back out into the water, she’s immediately greeted by the sight of the Eiffel Tower, its lights scintillating against the dark night sky, and for the first time, the image causes her to gasp. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks, turning to look back at Steve to see if he, too, is captivated by the view. 

“It is,” Steve says, a boyish smile on his lips and his eyes alight with unbridled adoration – only his eyes aren’t trained on the glittering marvel behind her, only at her. 

Clarity strikes her then, crystallizing before her. Her change of heart when it comes to this city has nothing to do with the fact that she’s never actually taken the time to slow down and explore it. “It’s you,” she whispers, grinning. “You’re what’s been missing. You’re-” 

“Natasha.” He says her name breathlessly, and before she can even blink, he tips chin up and leans down to slant his lips over hers. Her hands come up, snaking around his neck as she rises to the tips of her toes and pulls him even closer, pouring all the words she wants to say into their kiss. For she realizes that it’s not just Paris that he’s helped her see the magic in. It’s life, too – their life – and if everything seems as though it’s brighter and more hopeful and more joyous, it’s because they get to go through it together. 

“Thank you for choosing me,” he says later when they pull away and he leans his forehead against hers. 

She sighs contentedly, smiling. “Thank you for being worth it.” 

Drabbles Masterlist

[suitsusboth]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by @harnitbee 💜💜💜

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

currently six!

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

314,403 which is wild since i’ve only been doing this about a year and a half? i don’t think i wrote that much in college????

3- What fandoms do you write for?

Bridgerton 🐝 I’ve thought about writing for other fandoms in the past but nothing quite got a grip on me like Anthony and Kate 😌

4- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. love came back to me (still stunned at the reception of this fic)

2. just go with it (my fun little one shot)

3. where the love light gleams (my baby 🩵)

4. can’t two people reconnect (basically an exercise in writing smut)

5. if only in my dreams (🥹 wholesome epilogue/christmas fic to where the love light gleams)

5- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do for the most part, mostly because i appreciate the time people take to write them as usually they’re very encouraging and i love to answer questions or clarify things if needed. anyone who’s commented on a fic of mine ilysm 🥹💜

6- What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont think i’ve got a fic with an angsty ending, i love a good old happily ever after, buuuut i’d say love came back to me was the angstiest fic over all (lmk if you disagree!)

7- What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmm a tough one because i end them all happily, but i think if only in my dreams and just go with it are the happiest over all

8- Do you get hate on fics?

luckily not really just the occasional odd comment that kinda leaves me scratching my head

9- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, well, trying to 😅  

10- Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nah

11- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of??

12- Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I am aware of!

13- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i think it would be fun… i’m just slow at writing so I don’t know if that would pose an issue

14- What's your all-time favourite ship?

Kanthony, forever and always baaaaaby 💜 the power they have over me is insane 😌

15- What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the elopement au 🤪

16- What are your writing strengths?

ermm i’d say i don’t really have strengths it’s mostly a hot mess but maybe dialogue?? 😅

17- What are your writing weaknesses?

oh man…. my editor/beta reader will tell you spelling and grammar for SURE but probably also staying focused and motivated as well. if i’m tired of writing i think i don’t do the best i can so sections can suffer and then i’m too lazy to go back and fix it

18- Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

physically impossible for me as i have little to no other language skills (if you can you’re incredible!) i added some french to lcbtm but that was all google translate lol

19- First fandom you wrote for?

bridgerton 😉

20- Favorite fic you've written?

i can’t chose they’re all my babies 🥹

love came back to me i’m the proudest of because it’s my first fic i published and the longest and even though i took breaks i kept at it

where the love light gleams just holds a special part of my heart i love that cozy universe

just go with it was definitely the easiest and funnest to write though. i’m proud of the banter in that one tbh.

[noonaishere]

All of the Times Ateez Has Been Plagiarized (That I Know Of, So Far)

For legal purposes, these are all allegations.

So, I’m making this little essay/list/thing partly for myself (because I know *I* keep forgetting all of these instances) and partly because I always see incomplete lists going around and it annoys me a little that some of the people on this list seem to have been forgotten for whatever reason. Also, a lot of lists I’ve seen aren’t in chronological order? Which I just find odd. I’m going to try and include as many links as I can to articles, videos, etc, and I’ll be including pictures from them here, just to make it easier for you lovely readers.

(Also, if you think I'me being biased towards koreaboo articles, it's only because they embedded the tweets they used correctly, so they actually click through. Other sites I looked at, either the tweets show an error, or they're static images of low quality.)

Here's the incomplete article that inspired this.

So here is the list of:

All of the Times Ateez Has Been Plagiarized (That I Know Of, So Far)

---2020

MONOPOLY, HOLY MOLY – 2020 (Sept)

I can’t find anything about this artist, it seems to be only one person so maybe they’re just releasing it for fun? They plagiarized Treasure: Epilogue Action To Answer (and not even well, if you look at the shape of the black bar closely).

They did end up apologizing and changing the cover to something else, so at least they have more integrity than some of the other people on this list.

.

---2021

Ammonit, Reverse – 2021 (Oct)

Another small artist or group, Ammonit plagiarized the style of the Fever series album covers. Like Monopoly, Ammonit also changed their cover later. Though I haven’t seen whether or not they issued an apology, at least they changed it.

.

TRINITY, Life Ain’t Over – 2021 (Dec)

For their 2021 release of *Life Ain’t Over* Thai three-member group TRINITY copied Ateez’s Deja Vu photoshoot (the one member even having the same shirt as wooyoung), and their Fireworks mv. I’m actually not sure if they had ever acknowledged that they were being accused of plagiarism or not or apologized when I tried searching. (I thought someone had made a video comparing the two, but I can’t seem to find it.)

Now we get into Ateez’s worst year for plagiarism (so far)...

.

---2022

Soyeon, Sun – 2022 (Feb)

This is probably one of the biggest ones to happen, I won’t lie. I remember the indignation of Atiny, the disappointment of (G)-IDLE fans, and general disappointment and confusion by Knets.

This was the finale of the survival show My Teenage Girl, and the song in the video, Sun, was written for the contestants by (G)-IDLE member, Soyeon. The chorus sounds like a pitched up version of the chorus from Ateez’s Wave.

Sportskeeda article

Koreaboo article

At first people wondered if it was maybe a sample, but it wasn’t. To sum up the initial discussion:

Then on Feb 28th it got weird, because suddenly EDEN-ary (Ateez’s production team) had a credit on the song on Bugs (though this wasn’t changed on other platforms). 

Also on the 28th, KQ issued a statement after receiving reports from fans about the similarity:

“On the 27th, the Challenge Team’s stage, called ‘SUN’, was broadcast for the first round of the FINALs on My Teenage Girl. Afterward, we received multiple reports through the company’s official channel and mails from webmasters that the song’s chorus melody was similar to ATEEZ’s ‘WAVE’, which was released in 2019. As the company was monitoring the related issue, they discovered that the company’s producing team, Eden-ary, was listed in the credits for ‘SUN.’ We want to clarify that we did not have any discussions before with the company or Eden-ary. In hopes of respecting creators and their unique works and in hopes that any misinformation can be corrected, we ask everyone to refrain from making unreasonable assumptions regarding the issue. Thank you.”

So they did not have discussions with CUBE about the use of Wave prior to the premier of Sun on MBC. 

CUBE then released a statement: 

“Hello, this is CUBE Entertainment. We would like to explain what happened on MBC’s My Teenage Girl regarding the song ‘SUN’ and (G)I-DLE’s Soyeon. First, we sincerely apologize for the concerns caused by the production of the song ‘SUN.’ Following the broadcast, through monitoring the episode, we recognized some of the similarities in the two melodies. Our artist immediately reached out to the original composer to explain the situation and apologize. In this process, especially since we admitted the similarities, we decided the song credits should be edited and properly given to the original composer. Soyeon discussed this option with the original composer and we asked the producers of the show to implement the credit change.”

So their statement seems to be that they realized the similarities after, and that Soyeon contacted EDEN-ary and then added them to the song credits. Their statement continues:

“An hour before the song’s release, however, the original composer’s agency declined our suggestion to be credited. We asked the producers of the show to undo the credit change but the change could not be applied and the song became released as-is.”

So, an hour before the show aired, they called up KQ, KQ declined a song credit (I would guess because it sort of made it look like a collaboration and let CUBE/Soyeon off the hook for plagiarism), and it was too late to change it.

Soyeon’s statement is a little different: 

“After the episode aired, I thought I should apologize to the original composer for some of the similarities that have been suggested. So I got in touch with the original composer, explained what happened, and apologized for it.”

In that, in her recounting of events, her apology took place *after* the show aired.

Koreaboo article

As one person observed:

So yeah, kind of a Grade-A Mess.

After everything died down, CUBE registered the song copyright and it seemed like comments regarding the controversy were disappearing? No clue what that’s about.

Koreaboo article

.

NMIXX, OO – 2022 (Feb)

Welcome to: A Bigger Mess.

Koreaboo article

Someone at JYP is a BIG Ateez fan, I think. There are similarities between the look of their mvs (NMIXX even having some locations be the same as Ateez’s mvs), but there’s similarities with lyrics, graphic design choices, and lore. Basically, the only thing that isn’t similar is their sound.

The studio DIGIPEDI has worked with Ateez before and worked on NMIXX’s O.O video, but Illusion (the mv that NMIXX’s debut seems to mirror most strongly) is not one that DIGIPEDI worked on.

Now, while it’s not as if another group can’t have a pirate ship, can’t have a dreamy landscape - in fact, the group Treasure has a flying ship and a dreamy landscape in some of their mvs - but, as someone observed:

(I apologize for having to screencap a tweet from an article, but Mr. Muskrat has made his website so unusable that I can’t even find the original tweet.)

Even if the production team at JYP somehow happened on the same concept and look that Ateez has used for years, it would still be on them to realize, “Oops, this is too similar, we need to change something before people think we’re copying,” and then change the things that were too similar so they didn’t look like they had no ideas. Marketing research is a thing that companies that make stuff (even music) do as a prelude to starting a project, so I don't understand why it seems like JYP's team didn't do any.

Like, Charles Dickens had books where people were arrested for stealing bread, Les Miserables has a main character arrested for stealing bread, the Disney movie Aladdin has a character almost arrested for stealing bread; having the action “someone stealing bread” doesn’t mean that all of those creators have stolen the idea from each other, the idea exists as an idea a lot of people have. Just like flying ships and flying whales (Gojira, anybody?) and pirates and dreamlands aren’t owned by anybody - not even Ateez - it’s when you use all the ideas someone else has already used, and you use them in a way that looks JUST like the person or people you got the ideas from that it starts to become a problem. You can take inspiration from someone or something else, but you can’t just take That Thing and make it “2 inches to the left,” you know? For instance, I might read Lord of the Rings and want to write a book with elves and dwarves and a terrifyingly evil bad guy with a ring - those are all things in other stories that no one owns - but I CAN’T write a story where a group of people take a ring once owned by a terrifyingly evil bad guy and bring it to a volcano to throw it in, I have to write a different story where the ring does something else and the elves and dwarves maybe won’t even work together and there’s a different type of battle, and the bad guy looks a different way and maybe isn’t even a guy, and the world doesn’t look like Middle Earth-- and definitely I can’t use hobbits because they’re legally owned by the Tolkien estate because they were his original idea (that’s why they’re called “halflings” in DND, because of legal reasons.)

Anyway, back to normalcy. Please direct your attention to the lyrics portion of this video:

There’s a lot of similarities with their lyrics as well, so I don’t think NMIXX’s look kind of being “Ateez but 2 inches to the left” is as coincidental as some people wanted others to believe.

(PS: this is not me hating on the girls in NMIXX at all, they seem talented and nice. This is about one of the Big Three companies having a production team that doesn't need to copy others but seem to have done so anyway. But, since their look and even their sound seems to have changed a whole hell of a lot since debut, it seems like JYP has sort of abandoned NMIXX’s look at debut?)

.

Eltee Skhillz, Odg – 2022 (Mar)

(Sorry for the quality.)

I don’t even have to say anything, the evidence is right there. 

I think I have a moral obligation to make the joke, “His name is Eltee Skhillz [elite skills], but the only thing he’s skilled at is not having his own ideas.” (I think I’m allowed to be salty, he really went frame by frame as he copied.)

Eltee Skhillz (or someone in his team) put in the youtube description of the mv, “Partly inspired by ATEEZ "The Real" and "Say my name" music video”. Please see my earlier tangent about how inspiration and copying are not the same.

.

Vata, New Thing choreo – 2022 (Oct)

This accusation was about a point of choreography. On the dance competition show Street Man Fighter, We Dem Boyz leader Vata performed a dance move that looked pretty similar to Atinys:

This is straight up the Driving move from Ateez’s first comeback, Say My Name. It’s in between a “starting a bike” move and a “getting off a bike move”, but the move in between is the SMN Driving move. 

Interestingly enough, there’s a moment in Street Man Fighter where We Dem Boyz is unhappy that it seems that another group has copied their choreography, and they say, ���They copied about four counts,” of the choreo, from 1:48 - 1:54:

I WISH I could find this other video, where they were in the middle of a dance battle on the show, and Vata copied another groups move. The other group got annoyed and started arguing and Vata and his group said, “If it’s three beats, we’ll consider it copied.” Meaning: if someone does 1 oe 2 beats of someone else's move, it's not copied, but 3 or more beats is. I just found that so funny because Vata insists he didn’t copy the SMN move, but it’s 3 or 4 beats, both of which match with WDB's (conflicting) arguments for why they didn't copy other teams during Street Man Fighter.

(If anyone finds that clip, please let me know. I saw it around the time everything was happening but I can’t find it now. It was sort of dark and the two groups were in kind of a tight ring as the members of each were dance battling and the camera angle was from higher up.) 

During the show the groups were allowed to “vandalize” each other’s rooms earlier in the season, and other groups wrote some interesting things on We Dem Boyz flag: 

From this Koreaboo article:

(Written on the paper) “Melvin copycat ㅋㅋㅋ” and “JBLAZE copycat” (the comment circled with the hearts) “JBLAZE copycat” “This is SMF but they said they’re going to do Street Boy Fighter after!!” “Tristan copycat” “We Dem Kid” “Some people might think you made Fear of God” “Some people might think you also made Essentials” “If you mess with us” (knife) “You need to practice dancing. ‘You should dance the same dance at least, you guys are a team'” “Vata [cut off] Melvin copycat”

JBLAZE (along with Anze Skrube and Josh Smith) are the choreographers who created the dance for Say My Name (Anze credited Josh with creating the Drive move). Coincidentally, Melvin Timtim is another choreographer who also worked with Ateez, so that’s kind of interesting that the other groups accused WDB of copying him as well. It seems as if Vata has a well known history (in the dance community) of copying other choreographers.

Anze Skrube took to Instagram to reblog some posts regarding the situation (there was more than just this, he was popping off for days) and talked about it on his Stories:

(“I thought you are a friend of San” is in reference to San and Vata having done a challenge together a few weeks before and KQ uploading it to social media.)

Allkpop article

Mnet also coddled Vata, not taking a stance, but saying "We are in the midst of arranging a position while respecting the situation of the artist (Vata) as much as possible." Which fans HATED, because - if anyone needs to be respected here - it’s the people who were stolen from, not the one doing the stealing. (What the *fuck* Mnet? Why are you like this? This is why kpop fans use a snake emoji when they talk about you and how shady you are.)

Koreaboo article

Vata made an apology:

“This is Vata. I thought this would be a cold wind that would breeze by, but I am writing this to stop the misunderstandings. When I first heard the song, I thought of the wilderness and so I made the intro of riding a horse or motorcycle. That’s why in the beginning, there is a motion of kicking to start the engine and a motion of getting off the bike. These are parts of one move that transition from one to the other. I think the choreography its being compared to has a different transition and means something different entirely. As someone who loves the dance culture, I believe it is at its best when the artist and dancer respect one another. It saddens me to see that this isn’t taking place. Regardless of the reason, I apologize to viewers of Street Man Fighter and to those who root for We Dem Boyz for any controversy that had occurred on my behalf. I will repay you by putting on a better stage.”

Koreaboo article

I just have to say: this really reads like one of those youtube apologies, where the youtuber deflects and doesn’t want to be held accountable for their actions. He also seems to say that Wooyoung and Anze are being disrespectful by calling him out. (And he even said "I was hoping this would blow over" I don't think you're supposed to say that in your "apology" even if you were thinking it, homes."

Because, PS!: Wooyoung called him out with the “biting” motion during a stage at Kcom Saudi Arabia:

And here are some other shorts that have clips from Anze and his IG:

Short 1

Short 2

While everyone was doing WDB's dance on tiktok, San did the LAW challenge instead (which I feel is a better song anyway, but that's just me) and it seemed that, aside from Wooyoung's call out, and San's snub, KQ was not commenting on it.

Atiny, meanwhile, streamed Say My Name and made art about respecting artists (what Vata had NOT done to Ateez). There were hashtags and SMN challenges and tweets galore:

The thing that made this whole incident REALLY strange, is that the dance Vata had plagiarized the Drive move for was for the kpop artist Zico… who is managed under KQ. So, when the music video for Zico’s song, New Thing, came out, it lacked the drive move at the beginning:

Dance Performance video

So all the people trying to say that it wasn’t copied or tried to defend Vata (I saw someone say they would defend him because he’s more famous than Ateez… please lick boots somewhere else) didn’t matter because… Zico and KQ thought it was too similar to let it slide.

(Oh! Also, Carats, EXO-Ls, Shawols, Ahgases, Monbebes, ARMYs, ELFs, and Inspirits were spotting tweeting on Atinys’ behalf, so I would like to personally thank our friends who stan other groups for their help and support. The kpop world needs some love more often than not, because we are not each other’s enemy… capitalism is our enemy.)

(Love you, bbys 💖💖💖)

.

---2023

Super Dragon, Revolution – 2023 (Feb)

I hate trying to look this group up because the SEO for their name is GOD awful. Like you could not pick two more common words to name something. It’s also the name of several restaurants, the co-creator of a California wrestling promotion, and - of course - part of a title for a Dragon Ball series.

Maybe that’s why this is probably the incident I see the least. Maybe it just gets lost in the SEO sauce and no one even sees it so it’s just flying under the radar? Which is weird, because it’s like a combination of the TRINITY incident and the incident that will come next. A Frankensteinian amalgamation of a lack of imagination, if you will. 

But oh, oho! I have twitter-- I don’t have twitter, I have *a friend who has twitter,* and she messaged me very early in the morning on February 21st to send me a bunch of tweets of this band:

It’s the sound of Wonderland and the look of Fireworks.

The two songs played at the same time:

The thing that - I don’t know if I find it the funniest or if I hate it the most - but the thing is… there’s such a *severe* LACK of imagination. I’m inspired by things all the time, people, places, things, any kind of nouns, inspire me… but like I said earlier, there’s a difference between writing a story with elves and dwarves and just rewriting Lord of the Rings and pretending it’s your own. And this is just a poor man’s version of Wonderland.

.

3WICH, Kicking Your Face – 2023 (Sept)

On the Taiwanese music competition show, Music Maker, group 3WICH had a song that didn’t just seem similar to Ateez’s Guerrilla, but seemed to be almost a carbon copy:

If you listen to the whole song, it’s literally just been skinned so they could put new lyrics. Originally, 3WICH and their composer, Jhen F, did a livestream where they denied there was any plagiarism, and at first the song had been left up pending investigation, but was soon taken down until the copyright issues could be clarified. The president of the TV station that ran Music Maker, Huang Liang-hsun, made a statement:

(translated by @ananmiyabi630 on twitter (I think))

Koreaboo article

This story is still developing as I write this, but it seems to have affected the president of the TV channel Music Maker is on a lot:

If he goes, I hope he has fun. 3WICH and Jhen F can sit in the parking lot and think about what they did while they listen to the stadium scream “Break the WALLLL!” at the end of the concert.

.

------

So yeah, those are All of the Times Ateez Has Been Plagiarized (That I Know Of, So Far). I hope you enjoyed all of this mess, and maybe people won’t try to plagiarize them so much, now that they’re a bigger group and it’s more apparent that people are paying attention to them.

Idk.

Probably not.

I’ll update if I see any new ones in the future.

[oliveasaltylife]

[CW medical trauma discussion]

I dislocated my shoulder in august of 2022 and couldn’t relocate it completely until over a month later. I also tore the meniscus in my SC joint, which just added to the fun.

Anyways, my shoulder never healed and has only gotten progressively worse. This shoulder is already my worst joint, but this injury was the tipping point. I’ve been fighting with different “specialists” (and my previous pcp who is a terrible excuse of a money hungry DO) ever since, while also going to physical therapy. My PT is great though, and has been trying to help me get answers and find different specialists.

This morning, I had an appointment with a unicorn—the whole office put on masks when they saw my husband and I were wearing our respirators. (They only had baggy blues, but everyone was wearing them correctly which is more than I can say for the hospital). But I’m so glad I was able to see this doctor. I’m not sure if we can afford treatment with her because of course insurance doesn’t cover it, but I had an actually great experience with her. She listened to me and asked clarifying/follow up questions, she never rushed anything I was trying to explain, she understood I’m hypermobile—immediately upon examining my “good” shoulder, and remarked that it’s weird any doctor has tried to negate that, and she was incredibly thorough with both the physical exam and ultrasound imaging.

I have torn ligaments in my shoulder!!! And at least one is completely nonexistent!!!! In addition to other partial ligament and tendon tears and impinged nerves in my neck, shoulder, and lower in my arm! Who would have ever guessed?? (I told my husband and my pt and my pcp that I thought something was “missing” and joked about betting on something being torn and missed in my mri. They believed me but didn’t know what to do with the info because I have seen at least 4 other providers who all told me I was being a baby and one of them told me I wasn’t hypermobile—that’s a story for another time). She wants more information on my vasculature because I have weird anatomy in my neck apparently (?) but also wants to check for vascular thoracic outlet and eagles syndromes. She’s the first provider (who can actually do something about it) to actually want to get to the bottom of all the damage and figure out what’s coming from my neck vs my shoulder and that made me feel so comforted in my already positive appointment with her.

I’m not really sure what treatment will look like yet but she’s also not sure dextrose injections will be enough. I have this horrible feeling I’m going to need surgery, and I think she was sort of trying to hint at that towards the end of my appointment today. I have a follow up in about a month, so we will see. She is also going to take a look at my bad knee that’s been giving me issues for nearly 10 years. No one has ever looked at it though because it’s a byproduct of a pretty bad injury from when I had to wear a knee-high walking boot for 8 weeks. It was so heavy that it was pulling my entire leg out of my hip socket and caused the same stress on my knee (and likely the rest of my pelvis lmao). Every doctor I saw about it laughed in my face because “that’s not possible.” This doctor made sure we have a full follow up appointment so she can give me a knee assessment too.

I’m really sick of fighting handfuls of terrible doctors and “specialist” for years before finding just one good one. And having to do that for different specialties is an absolute nightmare. I’m really sick of doctors bringing up how I’ve “slipped through the cracks” and still forcing me to slip through them even further. I have had multiple providers tell me that I have a malpractice case with my previous pcp/that horrible DO, and even though I now have definitive proof of damage that has happened as a direct result of his lack of care, I don’t have the resources to even consult with legal council. Which pisses me off to no end because I want this man’s license. (Related, and also unrelated—my pcp also wants this man’s medical license revoked, allegedly, but that’s off the record). I also don’t even know if I could still pursue malpractice because it’s been almost 3 years since I left his practice.

This country’s medical and legal systems are such bullshit.

[serenemy]

there’s something i have to clarify because i have come to think it’s been a source of a lot of issues with my family

here’s something you have to understand. (with the exception of, i used to think, my sister) my family doesn’t use spoken words to communicate serious things. they use spoken words to chit chat, make small talk and almost nothing else

for serious things it’s hard to even describe what they do. they use innuendo and hint dropping and behind the scenes maneuvering and manipulation

as i’ve been saying for so long i don’t remember a time before this being a problem: i won’t get it

meanwhile oral communication is the hardest form for me. so it enrages me and fucks with me that they won’t use oral communication for the things i need. but they want me to participate in this hardest form of communication i ever do for fucking small talk and chit chat

when i say i want to talk for hours unfiltered to anyone who will listen i mean it. but it has to be *in writing*

this is also why telephone calls are so hard for me. i think my refusal to use phone calls or video was one of the miscues that led dipshit to think i’m more compromised or insecure than i actually am. when the truth is i just find it physically and cognitively difficult and draining

in some ways (not all) i actually prefer video chat to voice call. i don’t like either. but if we’re going to do it and i need all the cues i can get, video adds some. the problem with video is i have to animate. and animating is hard and draining. please just let me be a robot. no one who pays attention *in writing* doubts the emotions are really there

i worked at law firms that viewed me as normal for years, including for a time a big one california. i’ve successfully landed multiple successful, interesting and conventionally attractive men. i’m good at oral argument. i can handle client calls and client meetings and mediations

at least, all that was true *before* i got sick. now what happens is that those things that were always so draining for me now *also cause really fucking shitty autoimmune symptoms* that my whole being quails to trigger

when i say “i seem compromised irl” i mean the real me. the one under the mask. and the mask costs too much physically now. speech can be physically difficult. eye to eye contact at close proximity provokes physical symptoms i don’t have the energy and focus to manage anymore

but they never met the person under the mask before i got sick. i think my sister has either always suspected or did eventually. and my kid knew but had no words to explain it to anyone because how could a child figure that out when the parent themself also doesn’t know or have the words. i assume it was unnerving to have a parent who animated in public but not at home. i didn’t realize because the non animation is the REAL me and i really do love my kid. i didn’t marry because i could never keep my end of it going past the honeymoon phase for reasons i didn’t then understand

but there is one person the honeymoon phase never ended with. the kid. that’s the biggest reason i hadn’t laid hands on another adult in all those years: when you have adhd and the star at the center of your universe is in your living room, and you can’t stay out of your own head long enough to meet even that person’s needs, and you have to work and operate a household, how can you pay attention to anything else?

so i think what happens is because my family still perceives me as the attorney going through a rough slump, they think i’m not interested in them and only interested in people online. but no it’s just that they won’t communicate in ways that work for me. and even though i’m the one with the cognitive issues—even though they say they understand and i don’t think they are lying per se—they treat this as something i need to fix if i want close relationships with people

what they aren’t seeing is that when they were with me on social media and in group texts i LOVED chitchatting and small talk with them. they’re my favorite people. because i am in so many ways a child who will never be able to fully grow up i just wanted to stay with them forever and just add my new people along the way to us. a lot of my issues come from the fact that in ways i and they never understood i’m just not and never will be a “normal” adult

but first they cut me off on social media because they decided i wasn’t really getting sick or struggling in any way i was just selfish, lazy, possibly mentally ill and spending too much time on social media

then we fought about politics and me too and covid and [redacted] and every other fucking thing so they cut me off the group texts too

there’s not really any mysteries here. i am mentally ill just not in the ways or for the reasons they (and maybe you) think

anyway i’ll break the bit or dishonestly pretend to or unreliably narrate the following to tell you a complete list of ALL my mental health diagnoses:

1. stress and anxiety. 2. depression

i was also told i showed indications of both ptsd and borderline personality disorder but not enough to make the diagnosis. he told me to go to counseling for those but only specific kinds of counseling and i’ve literally delayed this long for reasons i won’t bore with you to get a hard copy of the report to see what kinds. i did read about both of them and they made so much sense that sometimes i do talk like i have them but it’s true im not 100% sure

(when i said there would be reading i meant for the neurodivergences stuff)

[jodilin65]

If you think whites are “privileged” you’re deluding yourself. It’s just that I keep hearing the term and I assure you we have to play by the same rules as everyone else. We’re no more or less special let alone privileged.

To clarify what I was saying about Trump the other day, this doesn’t mean it still doesn’t piss the shit out of me that a known criminal who incited a riot and has done God only knows how many other illegal things can be reelected, as I believe he will, without paying the consequences whatsoever. Meanwhile, I lost my freedom and thousands of dollars because I spoke out against being victimized two decades and three states ago.

I was shocked to learn that same-sex relationships were illegal in the US up until 2003. I thought they were decriminalized decades before that! To think that I could have been arrested for being with Kacey and then later with Brenda is kind of mind-boggling.

But then how did so many gay bars exist before 2003 without being raided and shut down?

Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to live in certain times and I imagine either way back in the past or if I was young today, like in my 20s or 30s. I’d say it’s probably a good thing the internet didn’t exist when I was young because I was a naive idiot who might have gotten into all kinds of trouble.

I wonder if it would have been easier to meet women. Back when I was young all you had was word of mouth or going to bars. If something isn’t meant to be whether it’s by design or not, it won’t be no matter how available it may be in general or how hard you work for it, so I don’t know that it would have made a difference. I think I still would have been met with the same rejection I got from the gay community years ago due to being very feminine. I simply had no desire to follow the so-called lesbian dress code that to this day I have never understood. Why should I have had to cut my hair off, ditch makeup, skirts, dresses, and heels, and walk and talk like a guy simply because I was attracted to women? I never understood the connection.

I know people can’t always help how they look and while they certainly do have a right to do what they want, can it be a coincidence that so many of them have short hair and are boyish in appearance? It really at least seems to be some kind of dress code just like it’s the opposite with gay guys appearing feminine. Again, it never made much sense to me to want to look like what you’re not supposedly attracted to but eh, whatever floats your boat.

I finally finished the Cabin Fever challenge I would have finished over a week ago had I not gotten sick. I’m back in Indiana with 1299 miles to go.

Having a thunderstorm tonight which is always nice.

I always used to say that when we moved from Auburn to Citrus Heights we traded in money issues for health problems for me. I asked Tom yesterday if I was imagining it or if we’ve been doing the best we’ve done financially since being here and he said yes, we are. Funny that it’s at a time when I get sicker than I’ve ever been. I don’t see it ever happening but if we were suddenly millionaires I can just imagine what my health would be like!

I haven’t been sick but I still have a bit of nausea and acid reflux at times. I also have moments where I wonder if I’m infected but I’m guessing I’m not. If I am, it���s mild.

My fatigue is kind of bad today. I was going to nap but couldn’t sleep. I think that’s a good thing, though, because napping yesterday may have done more harm in the end than good because it meant staying up later than usual and not sleeping as long. If I don’t sleep seven or eight hours at once, I’m more likely to be tired.

My appetite is still down as well and I’m down another half a pound. I still expect that to return, though. I’ve kind of got mixed emotions about that one. It’s good for me to lose weight but I also miss enjoying food. It’s not like I’m starving, though. I just can’t eat as much. I’ve been averaging around 1000 calories give or take a couple hundred. I’m actually getting hungry right now just talking about it, lol, so I’m going to go make something to eat.

[aquila-non-capit-muscus]

Some Guys Have All the Luck!

Out of this cascading landslide of mysteries, there is one mystery, that has been stuck in my craw for some time now. (No… not there. Go look up craw.) This unknown that has apparently been cast to public understanding a long time back, way before then… maybe 7 years or so.

I cannot understand at what point did I become so low in your eyes? Here I am referring to those who knew me for some time… for any who did not - just count yourself blessed and be content in whatever understanding makes you happy?

I am not trying to call-out anyone, I am in no way trying to cast blame or disparage. I am in fact baffled at how easy it was to be condemned? My own fault, no one else’s. If one wishes to maintain a level of respect in the eyes of others (be they family, friends, community), it is the responsibility of that person to act and present accordingly of a fashion that should earn that level of respect.

Now here I shall filter down a touch more… if you had no knowledge of the events in that time leading up to present; i admit, things would certainly look suspect and I would have the same thought as I’m sure many of you did. This then was one of my blunders (of so many). I had been relying on reputation and knowledge of past history to carry more burden, and due to the private nature (I thought at the time) of my health issues as well as a desire to protect some of the characters actively involved with the events leading up to and still unfolding… I was not open about my intentions nor did I provide reason for decisions made: I suppose I simply hoped that anything questionable would be resolved and explained before anyone ever had cause to question. My bad.

This is my quandary though… it has stymied all resolution of chronic and as-of-yet-undiagnosed medical issues, long before broadly disseminating… and certainly long before I fragmented myself to where time-to-time myself considered the sentiment, “Why was it so much easier to believe I was crazy and wrong, then to consider I may be sane and right?”

Perhaps I should clarify my stance here… I am not quibbling over whether or not I hold any relevant knowledge or skill set relevant to lend credence. My question is better phrased perhaps looking within a context as, “These are altogether very bizarre and unusually unfortunate events - rather implausible individually but highly unlikely especially to have occurred all together in time… {here, I would have assumed the next thought to be…} …but as long as I’ve known him, if things ever COULD happen like that to someone - he would be the one!

Stupid Lemony-Snicket-flavored Newtons serially following Murphy’s Laws while perpetually staying mobile in a two-leaf clover orbit of bad luck around me… 😖

I guess, if you did not arrive at the same conclusion… I hope one day I may have a chance to explain in more detail. For now, if you are open to the idea - please consider that throughout, as I understood the events transpiring, I was making the decisions based only with good intent and reason. If you do not see things that way then or now, I have been operating for so long in ‘crisis-management’ mode that questionable choices had to be made out of need for survival. Things were not, nor are now currently in any way ideal - they haven’t even been within sight of the baseline of “normalcy”, so if anything I do does not present as a logical solution… I wholeheartedly agree! But, they were arrived at through logic, intuition, and trial-and-error (…and trust me, there were so many trials and so much error along this path of scientifically sound methodology). If I ever reach the point to where I have a “normal life” I will make normal choices (I hope?), but until then… I am doing the best I can playing the hand I was dealt. I am not a saint by any measure, but I am no sinner either. If you have better options; I would gladly hear them and could use the help. Until then, I stand by my decisions and will continue doing things as best I can within the knowledge I have.

“…Just do what you think is best!”

[sarandiel777]

(( sarandiel is not a black character, they have never been a black character, and their race/ethnicity does not play into the story whatsoever. sarandiel is a character consisting of many souls, but the most recent one in control was chosen millions of years ago, in ancient greece. they are greek. they have thick, curly hair in a very different texture than what apparently came off in the extremely few images i ever posted of them, there are barely any reference drawings to draw this conclusion from from in the first place but at the time i was apparently not skilled enough to accurately portray that in their design. i was not under the impression that their design made them appear to be black, though i’ve finally been made aware of how it could be interpreted. i don’t plan to redesign them, especially since they don’t look like that right now at all and i’ve refined their design since their last posted image. i understand why there would be a lot of big problems with the dynamic of a black villain oppressing white protagonists, which is, in fact, racist and uncomfortable, if it existed. however, it does not, and never has. no one said a word to me about anyone’s assumptions or concerns or asked me to clarify, at any point before today. there are no character stats to draw this information from or in-character mentions to imply it. i knew who my character was. other people did not. and no one bothered to find out. 

I write primarily white characters because i don’t feel confident in accurately and respectfully portraying cultures i’m not a part of or particularly educated in, so many of my characters are white for this reason. mads is from sweden. seculus was a self-insert. none of their races are intended to have any deeper meaning, implications, or racist undertones, and the fact that this malicious intention was assumed of me for no better reason than someone decided my character looked black seems like a red flag for completely different reasons. no one spoke to me about the impression people were under. no one told or asked me what was going on. no one even chose to find out what their race actually was. i’m sorry that my writing caused this discomfort with personally affected members of the community, i caused that without my awareness but it still happened. but it was not an accurate interpretation, though that was not made fully clear, and i apologize for not making their information more publicly available.

if for some reason you don’t believe me, there’s nothing else i can do about that, and you’re free to block and move on. but this is the factual situation with their character, and there’s nothing else i can give but an apology and an acknowledgement that this hurt people, which i wouldn’t have allowed it to keep doing, had anyone brought it up as an issue. this said, if you have a problem with my writing, just tell me. absolutely nothing is going to be accomplished by catching me with surprise about something people secretly despise about me. i’m happy to improve my writing, make people more comfortable, and solve problems with my portrayals, and have never expressed otherwise. this stuff is free to be brought to me if necessary. but people have to actually talk to me to do that. if something like this happens again, that’s what should happen. not being stuck on a vague list for unclear reasons.

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

[animeomegas]

(infertile alpha request) oh, sorry! Preferably Naruto, Death Note or Obey me

(Thank you so much for clarifying! I’ve done Naruto and Death Note 💓 Enjoy!)

Naruto – He is a bit sad when he hears the news. He definitely wanted to adopt at least one child, so he’s not sad about never having children, because he knows he still can easily, but he was kinda really looking forward to being pregnant. He wanted to know what it was like, all the things he’d seen other couples go through (ultrasounds, cravings, birth classes), and it’s a little startling to have that dream suddenly ripped away from him. He’s not comfortable with any other conception methods, so he adopts all his children. But, when he’s cuddled up with his three adopted children, he can’t believe he was ever upset about not having biological children, and the thought that having biological children would have stopped him adopting all of his current children makes him feel sick because he can’t imagine a life without all his precious pups. Where would they be if he didn’t adopt them? Naruto decides that it was better this way, in the end.

Sasuke canon – Sasuke is very conflicted, at first. He had been clinging onto this dream of reviving his clan since he was a child, but now the only person he could ever tolerate having sex with can’t give him that… He’s not getting a donor, no way. There are no orphans from his clan to adopt. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, there seems to be no good answer. In the end, I think he would decide to just never use birth control and see what happens. The chances may be extremely slim, but he’s not comfortable with any other conception method, so it’s this or nothing. It might actually be quite a good experience for Sasuke in the end, because he is finally forced to examine some of the goals he clung to as a child to keep himself from breaking down and see if they are something he ever actually wanted. He might think about what life would have been like with his own pup occasionally, but he’s never been as happy as he is with his alpha and that is more than good enough for him (but not good enough for the council who harass him about having as many children as possible, constantly.)

Sasuke non-massacre AU – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal tbh. He got himself sterilised while he was in his early twenties because he didn’t want to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant, and he had to fight his clan for it! So, he’s glad that you won’t have to do that same, but it’s easier for alphas anyway. If you’re in a relationship with him, then you obviously don’t want pups, so he doesn’t think much about it. He’s like “Oh, okay,” then ends the discussion.

Shikamaru – This might be a problem… His child will be the next clan leader and they have to be of his blood, as is clan tradition. He would probably have to go for a donor to get pregnant, probably some distant clan member he’s never met before, but he feels really weird about it. He doesn’t like it, but he bites his tongue for once and gets on with it. He keeps it a secret from most people. The other biological parent is a clan member, so he just lets people believe that Shikamaru’s Nara genes were super strong, and that’s why there’s none of his alpha in their pup. I don’t think he would ever tell his pup that they weren’t biologically the child of both of their parents, he doesn’t think it matters and he doesn’t want to cause drama or have to involve the other bio parent if his pup asks after them. It’s better left as a family secret.

Shino – His situation is similar to Shikamaru’s. His child will be the next clan leader and in order to have a kikaichu and be trained like his clanmates, they have to be biologically an Aburame. Shino is also not comfortable with other conception methods, but mainly because he’s terrified of his alpha rejecting the pup if they aren’t theirs or reacting badly if Shino is pregnant with someone else. Some alphas have a hard time with those instincts and can’t accept non-biological pups or get violent when their mate is carrying someone else’s offspring. Shino is pretty scared. He also is so humiliated during the invasive insemination procedure. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, as his alpha was the perfect parent to their pup, but for about a year, Shino is constantly stressed that everything is going to change suddenly, and his mate will snap and leave them or something. It’s a tough time for him.

Neji – He’s actually quite relieved. It makes him feel a lot less guilty for his own fertility problems. If you’re both sterile, he’s sad that you’re both lacking something you want, but it makes dealing with his own problems easier. There are many orphans in the clan, so you both adopt from that pool, and Neji couldn’t be happier and prouder of his children.

Kakashi – Thank fuck for that. He got sterilised when he was in ANBU, just in case he had any missions that involved seduction. Kakashi might make a joke about how you’re lucky that you got to avoid the hospital and still be sterile. He wishes lol. Anything that helps him remain childless is good in his book.

Iruka – He makes sure his mate isn’t upset, but Iruka himself is totally fine. He wouldn’t mind not having children at all, and if they both decided to have children, Iruka would want to adopt anyway. He thinks it makes so much more sense to adopt when there are so many pups who need loving homes. He does get a little sad if his mate is sad though, but only out of empathy, not because he himself is sad.

Itachi canon – It is very helpful for him. While Itachi has issues with his heat and his health, he doesn’t have many problems getting pregnant, he just can't carry to term. And birth control is hard as a missing nin, so he’s very glad that he doesn’t have to worry about it. (Miscarriages are not fun, and with a fertile mate he would certainly have suffered through a few). It’s better for him this way, his circumstances prevent him from having children anyway.

Itachi non-massacre AU – He’s devastated. He doesn’t blame his alpha at all, but he’s very upset. His clan will never let him adopt, if they're losing one of their best shinobi to stay at home and raise children, those children better be the new top shinobi, so they have to be his biological children. He using artificial insemination, and he uses the sperm of another Uchiha (one that he's not directly related to). The clan elders are overjoyed that Itachi's pups will be 100% Uchiha blood rather than mixed. But Itachi is very, very firm about making legal protections for his mate as their pups' parent. He doesn't want his clan to pull anything to try and exclude his alpha or claim that his mate doesn't have authority over their own child. He's very firm about those conditions.

Sai – Huh, well, he hadn’t given pups much thought tbh. He’s totally okay with not having children, he genuinely doesn’t care that much. He likes it just being his alpha and him, so why change it?

Gaara – He’s another one who is completely devastated when he hears the news, but he is very stoic about it on the outside because he wants to be a good support for his alpha who might be struggling. He really mourns being able to carry his alpha’s pups. He doesn’t want to adopt because he really wants to carry a pup and breastfeed and everything, but he’s also worried about his alpha feeling betrayed or excluded if he goes for a sperm donor. He’s desperate for his own children, two at least, so he wants to use a sperm donor.

...

L – He nods and files it away in his brain with all the other information about his beloved, but he doesn’t file it as important. You have already agreed to not have children, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Light – Hmm, this is a problem for his plan. He needs someone to take over the perfect world he’s creating, and he was planning on it being the biological child of him and his mate. Well, it needs to be his child, but it doesn’t matter too much if it’s also his alpha’s biological child. Light isn’t comfortable with artificial insemination, but he’s down for seducing one of his fangirls/fanboys and using them. He wouldn’t tell them that the pup is theirs though because he doesn’t want to be tied down to someone he can’t stand. If they got too suspicious that his pup was theirs, they might find themselves the victims of a mysterious death.

Matsuda – He’s distraught for you and himself. He’s a very traditional person who wants traditional things, a couple of kids, a nice house, a dog, that kind of thing. He would want to try every possible method to conceive naturally, but after two years going back and forth between various fertility clinics, it’s clear that he’s not going to get what he wants. Matsuda goes back and forth between various other methods but eventually decides to adopt an infant. He never really stops hoping that he’ll magically become pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he loves his child any less, because he absolutely dotes on them.

[keijislove]

Happiness: Harry Potter X Muggle!Reader

Ding dong

The bell at Number Four, Privet Drive rang.

‘Boy, scurry off!’ Petunia growled at Harry; afraid he would do something to the person who was at the door.

Harry hid inside his old broom cupboard.

Even after spending two whole years at Hogwarts, and about to start his third, the Dursleys never let him come and see whoever was at their door.

It’s not like I’d stun them, Harry gloomily thought. I’ve got better things to do.

In truth, he really hadn’t.

Which is why he peeked through the small crack in the door to see who was there.

Petunia opened the door.

‘Er, yes?’ Harry heard her say.

‘Mrs. Dursley, good afternoon!’ a voice spoke.

The voice was gentle and sweet, a great variation from the Dursleys’ harsh, barking tones towards Harry.

It was the voice of a girl; one he did not know.

‘How may I help you dear?’ Petunia smiled.

‘Er, well, Dudley took my maths book yesterday, and I-I have a test coming up day after, so could you please ask him to lend it back?’ the voice asked.

‘Of course.’ Petunia smiled. ‘Come in, dear.’

That was when Harry finally saw the owner of the calming voice.

It was you.

Looking ever so beautiful and elegant with a halo of politeness surrounding you.

Petunia went upstairs to retrieve your book.

He did not know why exactly, but Harry felt like he had to talk to you.

He had to.

And if he didn’t, then the chance would be lost forever.

He walked out of the cupboard.

‘Oh!’ you exclaimed in surprise.

‘Er, sorry.’ He muttered, feeling foolish.

‘No, no... quite alright... I’m Y/N. Y/N L/N. you are?’ you asked, holding out your hand.

‘Harry. Harry Potter.’ He said, shaking your hand.

You frowned slightly. ‘Potter... I’ve heard that before... you’re Dudley’s cousin, aren’t you?’ you asked.

‘Er, yeah.’ Harry awkwardly said.

For a moment, a small flash of fear took over your face, but you tried your best to hide it.

Harry noticed it anyway.

He felt anger bubbling up inside him.

‘I don’t go to St. Brutus’ if that’s what’s scaring you.’ He said with more venom than intended.

You looked positively nonplussed. ‘Oh? Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry. It’s just that... Dudley says such awful things about you... I’d started thinking you were a mad hooligan!’

‘Dudley says a lot of things that aren’t true. For instance, he beat up a toddler and told me he’d won a boxing match.’ Harry shook his head.

You giggled slightly.

‘So... you’re his friend, then?’ Harry asked.

You looked down. ‘Uhm... well, no. I’m afraid he’s not very nice to me. I don’t think he likes me much.’

Harry felt yet another wish to strangle his cousin.

‘Why’d you lend him your book, then?’ he asked in confusion.

You sighed. ‘I didn’t. He took it from me when we were out during recess.’

‘Prat.’ Harry muttered.

When they heard Petunia’s footsteps, Harry jumped back inside the broom cupboard.

She was wiping fake tears, mumbling.

‘Diddykins, always such a gentleman. Asking for a girl’s book so politely.’ She mumbled.

You had to look away in order to roll your eyes.

-------------

Needless to say, you and Harry became friends since that day.

The Dursleys would always kick him out, and this used to annoy him, but now he had somewhere to go, so he used to leave without a word.

You two would meet up in the nearby playground and do one of the things Harry considered a big privilege.

You’d talk.

Nothing in particular, you’d sit on the swings and just talk.

Harry deeply wished he could tell you about Hogwarts, how Voldemort was a huge threat to his existence, but what would you think?

You’d call him mad.

You still followed the same routine.

You’d talk, everyday you’d talk and talk and one day he would leave, leave you behind, lonely.

Things however, changed quick after that.

He had just gotten home from third year, and was spending the summer there.

You had met up as usual, and he’d excitedly told you how his best friend, Ron Weasley, had invited him to stay over that Sunday for the rest of the vacation.

‘Oh... you’re leaving so soon?’ you had asked, and Harry thought he had heard the slightest bit of sadness in your voice, but that couldn’t be.

You wouldn’t be sad if he left, he wasn’t even on your priority list.

Which is what he thought.

To you, Harry was that cute boy whom you could consider one of your closest (and only) friends.

So, upon hearing that piece of news, you were jealous of this Weasley person.

No, that wouldn’t be right. You thought. He’s been at that school for three years; you’ve just met him. Why would he want to stay because of you?

You had been lonely that summer, and when Harry came back, it was unusual.

When he came back from his fourth year, he was a mess.

He’d jump at the slightest things, like a cat or a stray dog, and would hyperventilate a lot.

One day, he’d had a particularly bad panic attack.

You were on your swings, as usual, when Harry started rolling around on the floor, clutching his head.

You had gotten used to this, so you crouched next to him.

‘Ssh, Harry, breathe.’ You’d soothingly whisper. ‘Focus on your breathing, take deep breaths. Yes, that’s better, isn’t it?’

Harry was more grateful to you than he could have been.

Despite you not knowing the reason his scar hurt, you didn’t poke in further.

You left it at that and helped him whenever he needed help the most.

Your heart sank when Dudley’s gang came marching.

You hurriedly propped Harry up on the swing, before sitting down yourself.

‘Come on a date with a girlfriend, have you?’ Dudley sneered at Harry, his mates laughing loudly.

Yet another surge of anger passed through Harry’s body. ‘Beat up another ten year old, Dudley?’

‘This one deserved it.’ Dudley nonchalantly replied.

‘Five against one... that’s nice.’ Harry snapped.

Dudley’s lips curled over his teeth in a snarl. ‘At least I’m not afraid of my pillow! Don’t think I don’t hear you moaning in your sleep!’

A muscle was jumping in Harry’s jaw.

‘Leave it.’ You whispered.

‘Oh, don’t kill Cedric!’ Dudley mocked. ‘Who is Cedric, your boyfriend?’

More laughter issued as you held onto Harry tighter.

‘Mum, he’s gonna kill him!’ Dudley went on. ‘Where is your mum? Where is your mum, Potter? Is she dead? Is she dead?!’

You had released Harry; however, it was not him who went up to Dudley.

‘Pathetic!’ you snarled in his face. ‘What do you think you’re playing at, joking about his mother’s death? Absolutely pathetic!’

Dudley had given you a half smile, gesturing to his friend.

One of the boys held you and slammed you against the roundabout, making you hit your head as you groaned.

Harry jumped up and pointed his wand right at Dudley.

It was at that moment, that the skies darkened, as if a storm was ahead.

In mid-summer.

You and Harry walked home, Dudley following behind.

Suddenly, you felt cold.

Not because of the lack of warmth, but because it became really, really cold.

You heard a scream as your vision darkened.

Harry choked for air as a Dementor held him in place, desperately searching for his wand.

He saw you collapse to the floor, panting heavily.

With great effort, Harry grabbed his wand and managed to croak out.

‘EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!’

A silver stag rose out of Harry’s wand tip and fought off the Dementor holding him in place, before heading to you.

The Dementor instantly dropped you, almost scowling, which it would have done if it had no face, and glided out of the alleyway.

Dudley looked sick, but Harry didn’t care.

He rushed to your side immediately.

‘Oh my god, oh my god, cloaks.’ You whispered. ‘Cold air, c-cloaks, I saw my father die... all o-over a-again and i-it was so c-cold, all over...’

Harry shushed you, smiling understandingly at your rambling, disgusted at whoever sent those stupid Dementors to harm somebody as innocent as you.

---------------

‘So... he’s a wizard.’ You clarified, looking at the batty woman whose living room you were sprawled across.

‘And a ruddy good one at that, I mean, a corporeal Patronus at his age-’ she said.

‘Mrs. Figg.’ You interrupted. ‘He’s... he’s going to come back next summer, isn’t he?’

‘Of course, dear, whyever not?’ she looked at you as though you’d gone mad.

‘Those things... Dementors, as you said... were they trying to harm Harry?’ you tentatively asked.

‘Yes dear, sadly, yes.’ Mrs. Figg distractedly muttered. ‘Mundungus Fletcher, when I get my hands on that little squat again, I swear!’

You were trembling.

Something was after Harry, something terrible.

And you were in no power to help him.

----------------

‘Is something the matter?’ you asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.

‘Have you ever tried macaroons; I reckon they’re brilliant.’ Harry mumbled, ignoring you.

You rolled your eyes. ‘Harry.’

Sighing, Harry looked at you. ‘Hm?’

‘What’s wrong?’ you repeated.

‘Nothing.’

Lies.

‘Harry, something is very much wrong, and you know it.’ You disapprovingly said. ‘What is it?’

Harry sighed. ‘Its just... he’s growing stronger, you know. I... I fear there might be a day where I go to Hogwarts and never come back.’

Your heart sank into your stomach.

‘Its... cmon, Harry.’ You spoke. ‘We can’t... if you think like that, then, you’re not going to fight very well, are you? I’ll have you know, I am always here for you, and I have absolutely no intentions of letting whoever kills you live in peace.’

Harry chuckled at your scathing threats.

‘I’m gonna miss you, Y/N/N.’ Harry mumbled, intertwining your fingers with his.

You sighed. ‘I’ll miss you too Harry.’

More than you can imagine.

-----------------

‘Harry Potter, open this door!’ you screamed, banging furiously, not caring it was raining and you were sopping wet.

‘Harry, I swear, I WILL BREAK THIS DOOR!’ you yelled, ripping your throat raw.

The door hesitantly opened, as a certain boy stood before you.

Choking an enormous sob, you pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

Sobbing into his shoulder, you melted into his touch.

‘Ssh Y/N, ssh.’ He mumbled soothingly.

‘Harry Potter.’ You croaked. ‘You had best returned from this war ALIVE.’

‘I’ll try Y/N/N.’ Harry whispered. ‘I’ll try.’

Your sobs were growing uncontrollable, and Harry did the only thing he could think of to shut you up.

He kissed you.

Slowly and carefully, his lips took in your own, as you melted into the kiss.

Not caring about the salty tears you could taste, you gently stroked his cheek.

When you pulled apart, you sniffed. ‘Good luck, Harry.

----------------

The rain beat down on your house heavily, as you sat near your window.

Something was wrong, you could sense it.

He’s alive... God, no, he’s alive, please.

Each thought, each dream, showed you endless ways Harry would be dying.

You hated it.

After many days of crying, a knock on your door made you jump.

‘Y/N!’

That voice.

That amazing voice.

Trembling, you opened the door, seeing a messy haired Harry standing there, tears painting his face.

‘My God.’ You gasped. ‘You’re alive. Oh, Harry!’

After yet-another hug, Harry came inside.

‘I reckon I should’ve made this more special.’ He said seriously. ‘But I can not wait any longer.’

You watched, confused, as Harry took your hands.

‘Y/N L/N, the moment you came into my life, I have felt nothing but pure happiness. I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?’

You gasped, hand flying to your mouth.

Sobbing harder, you hugged him.

‘Yes.’