#though it might have helped that i went for like a 2 hour walk today ? which is why im drawing / posting so late

[exocaliii]

❦︎ You've Been Walking, You've Been Hiding

(pt. 1) (pt. 2)

| Kang No-eul / Guard 011 x fem!reader |

side! | Se-mi / Played 380 x fem!reader |

Summary: For six years, you've watched your best friend and only companion mourn a child she barely got to know. Now, you're given a chance that might finally rid her of this lifelong guilt.

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: mentions of self harm, death, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, occasional use of Y/N even though I try my best to avoid it lol, some jealousy and yearning, very plot heavy guys no porn this time...

A/N: first fic yay!! it's incredibly plot heavy (like seriously look at the word count man I haven't even reached the Mingle game yet😭😭) and tbh i've already written most of pt 2 (which dives far more into the romance part), but please please lmk what you think so far!! :D seriously any comments or messages or whatever are appreciated!! this is the "I wrote this cuz no one else did" fic

—

It’s been nine years since you've met her, and she’s still the most beautiful woman you know.

Her head is tilted back, shallow breaths filling the silence. You don’t make a move until you see tears flow down her cheeks, and by the time she raises an arm to cover her face, you’re already by her side. There are no words or even glances shared as you use the sleeve of your jacket to wipe the tears off her cheek. Though, for a split second as your hand lowers, you swear you see her head tilt in your direction, and maybe you’re hallucinating it (god knows what could happen after two bottles of whatever hard liquor that was) but your eyes meet for a brief second.

It’s a bit too much for you, and you need this night to end. Besides, you had someone to meet. She knows that.

“It’s late, Eul.”

It’s an unspoken suggestion for her to drive you home, but she doesn’t move - just looks over at you with a heated gaze and that’s all it takes. Whatever emotion she was trying to express is unknown to you, but it’s familiar in a way that deeply disturbs you. You’re the last person she should be looking at like that.

“...Alright then,” you whisper, placing your head on her shoulder. She doesn’t react, but she doesn’t move to push you off either. You should leave. You both know this.

God, you’re pathetic.

—

250 million won.

Fucking scammers. Who could even pay that much?

Your meeting with the head of some shady smuggling group based in North Korea went… alright. They were willing to help, but less optimistic than the last. What really went wrong was the price they were charging to help search for No-eul’s baby. Even if you worked your current job for 16 hours a day for an entire year straight, you wouldn’t have enough.

The thought of seeing her hope dwindling once again made you want to pull your hair out.

Perhaps it was this heartache that made you call the number on that card.

—

She’s known about the games for six years.

She signed up to kill people every summer for five years.

Today is the first day she’s genuinely, completely thrown off guard.

When she twists the scope of her rifle, she almost accidentally fires a bullet straight into your face with a twitch of her hand. Even after leaning back and rubbing her face in exasperation at her own mind supposedly playing tricks on her, she leans back into the familiar pad of the rifle to see your face once again. You look the same as the last time she saw you, which was barely two days ago. The strain in your face, the fear that twists your expression into one she recognizes from seven years ago - God, what the fuck did you get yourself into?

She lets out a shaky breath and readjusts her grip, her nerves making her hands quiver just enough that she has to lean back again to roll her head to relieve some of the newfound tension in her neck. When she finally lays her cheek back against the rifle, she’s quick to refocus her attention to another player, one that 012 (or was it 010?) failed to kill. It’s a disgusting ordeal, but she deals with it the only way she knows how to, even as her mind wanders.

Survive this game, Y/N. Do not leave me behind.

—

All you can do is clutch the number on your chest - 037 - after what had just happened. After you watched a woman’s blood splatter onto a young man right next to you. After you watched him flinch and die moments later, right at your feet. It feels like a fever dream when money begins to drop into the piggy bank above the room, and you’re told each 100 million won added was somebody’s life.

That woman and the boy were, combined, only 200 million won to the pile. You want to vomit.

You drown out so much of it, but when you hear talk of money being passed out to the “winners” of the game you all just played, you’re disturbed to find it’s only reached about 75 million. You’re even more disturbed by your immediate desire for more, more money to fill the pig’s empty stomach (and more lives lost, apparently).

When it comes time to vote, you can’t bring yourself to care much about the man who claims he had played these games before. His pleas mean nothing to you, not when you have 250 million won to conjure up in the next month to continue the search for No-eul’s sweet daughter. You hesitate for only a split second before you hit the O, and you force yourself to drown out the fearful cries to your left as well as the howls from the hungry wolves to your right.

A blue patch is placed over your chest, but you do not cheer with the rest of your side.

—

When night comes, sleep refuses to come to you. It feels like a punishment now, especially as you look at the young girl just diagonal to you. 095. She shakes like a baby in her bed, and the red X on her sweater shows you why.

Have you damned this poor girl to death? Maybe even the kind old lady lying across from her?

The sick feeling in your gut prompts you to get up and head over to the side door. Three knocks prompts nothing but silence, but you refuse to give up so easily. With another set of knocks on the door, this time hard enough to make sure the guard on the other side (at least you hoped there was even anyone on the other side) heard you, you spoke up.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel well, can I please-”

Without you saying another word, the door practically swings open.

Standing across from you is a pink guard with a triangle mask. The rifle at their side draws your attention immediately, and some paranoid part of your mind wonders if they only opened the door so they could shoot you for interrupting their quiet time. However, the guard surprisingly only takes a small step to the side after a strangely tense silence.

“...Thank you…”

You scuttle past them and immediately head to the bathroom. The moment you enter, you rush to the sink, turn on the faucet, and let a stream of icy cold water fall from your cupped hands onto your face. For a second, this helps your heart rate slow.

What brings it back up is the sound of the door opening, and what spikes it is the fact that it’s not a fellow player that walks into the silent bathroom, but the guard. Based on their height alone, you can tell it’s the same one. This is even more frightening somehow.

Did you do something wrong? Should you have just stayed in bed? Why did you pick-

“Why are you here?!” The guard’s raspy voice interrupts your thoughts. Her question (you now realize it’s a woman) was just barely quiet enough to not be considered a yell, but the frantic nature of it still makes you blank out. You’re so afraid that you end up completely missing the familiarity your body feels at the sound of her voice.

“I-I’m sorry ma’am, I just need to wash my face, I’ll-”

You’re interrupted once again by the guard’s movements, but this time, she’s practically ripping down the red hood of her jacket to pull off her mask. She doesn’t even need to take off her face covering by that point, because a single short glance at her eyes, the ones you knew so well, were enough.

“No-eul…,” you choke out, staring as she pulls the face covering down completely to reveal the face you’ve known for nine years. Her hair is sweaty and sticks to her face in a way that you recognize from her summer shifts at the fair.

Seeing her here is only comforting for a short moment though, because the pink of her uniform against the green of yours is still visible in your peripheral as you take in her confused, almost panicked expression. Her eyes scan your face for an answer, not nearly as patient as she typically is, and when you refuse to even make a sound, she takes a small step closer.

“Answer me. You shouldn’t- God.” She runs her gloved fingers through her hair in poorly hidden frustration as she sighs and turns away for a split second. “You shouldn’t be here. Not in a place like this.”

You don’t respond, but she can very much see the frown on your face after that last statement.

“Then what the hell are you doing here?” It doesn’t take much for you to regain your snarkiness, but it clearly throws her off guard.

“It’s just a temporary job, and you know why I need it, so answer me.”

Yes, you know full well why she needs it.

“...I need it too, Eul.” It’s not enough for her. You sigh before accepting your fate. “She needs it.”

For a second, there’s silence. She’s confused, and you watch as the gears turn in her head and she slowly comes to understand the intentions behind your words - understands the blue O plastered on your sweater. Somewhere in the blank expression she’s trying so hard to keep up, you can spot the shame, the guilt, and the sadness washing over her at the realization.

“Don’t look at me like you pity me. This was my choice to make.” I don’t regret it.

When she fails to even acknowledge what you just said, you simply sigh and move over to the wall, sitting down with your legs pulled close to your body. As if it were muscle memory, she joins you a moment later.

For what feels like forever, you two sit in silence and stare at each other. She can’t stop glancing down at the patch on your chest, and you can’t stop glancing at the mask she placed at her side. When she notices this, her expression gets even more shameful, and she lowers her head.

“Eul…” She doesn’t answer you, but you hear the soft exhale she releases when she hears your voice. “Eul, I don’t blame you.”

You reach over in a bold move and take her gloved hands. They’re mostly steady, but you know her too well by now. Even the slightest tremor is enough for you to practically feel the shame washing over her in waves. When you attempt to hold eye contact with her again, she breaks it uncharacteristically fast.

“You should’ve never come here.”

You sigh heavily and as she begins to pull her hands back, you tighten your grip on them and lean forward.

“I want to find her, No-eul. Please let me try.”

She’s damned you, just as she damned her daughter. She’s sure of it.

—

Whilst others around you are quickly gathering into groups, you find yourself lost in the crowd. No one pays you any mind as they shove past you to team up with people they had been interacting with, but what could you do when you’ve really just been ignoring most of the people here?

It’s humiliating when you find yourself inching towards a group of men that side-eye you and turn away before you can even ask to join their group. To be fair, if you were them, you probably wouldn’t want the meek girl in the corner either. It’s life or death, and you can’t blame them for picking the former. All you can do is sigh and turn away, but before you can go far, a hand gently grabs your upper arm and spins you around.

“Hey, you have a team yet?”

380.

She’s a girl you made eye contact with only once, right before your late night trip to the bathroom. From her appearance, you would’ve expected her voice to be a lot more gruff, but it’s soft and gentle and draws you in immediately. In a place like this, it's normal that you find yourself easily drawn to any sense of safety you can find (especially when your usual safe haven is hidden behind a mask that dozens of others are wearing - others that are probably far more willing to shoot you in the head for trying to stick to them).

“No.” An awkward silence fills the space between you two before you remember why she’s even asking such a question in the first place. “Do you want to…”

You don’t get to finish that question - thank god - before she chuckles and shakes her head slightly, answering you by taking you by the hand and dragging you over to her group.

Standing with her back against the wall, an armed guard keeps her eyes trained on your every movement. When 380 takes you by the hand, her grip on her rifle tightens just barely.

—

In a twisted way, you almost found the last game to be fun. The cheers of the spectators, 380’s tight grip on your arm and quiet encouragement after you failed the first round of gonggi, it’s all kindness and attention you never typically receive. You can almost bring yourself to completely ignore the fact that you’re pretty sure you just got yourself thrown in with a group of two drug addicts (you don’t know how they managed to sneak substances into this seemingly sterile environment, but it’s very obvious they succeeded in some capacity).

What wasn’t fun, however, was watching the previous losers get gunned down by people in the same outfit as the woman you were empathizing with just last night. You’re actually 99% sure she was one of them, which makes it that much worse. You pity those who lost, and for a second, as you watch a young boy fall to the ground with blood seeping out from a single hole above his heart, you feel an indescribable hatred towards those putting these people down like dogs.

But then No-eul’s face flashes in your mind and you feel the ghost of her hands on yours, and it all fades away.

“What’s your name?” Your train of thought is interrupted by a soft and familiar voice. You turn to face 380 and are slightly thrown off at the sight of 230, 124, and 125 also waiting expectedly. Albeit with some hesitance, you give them your full name, and 380 nods in acknowledgment.

“I’m Se-mi.” Her choice to leave out her surname isn’t lost on you, but you ignore it for now. After all, you don’t really know this woman, and she doesn’t know you.

“Two beautiful names for two pretty girls.” Maybe you should’ve left out your surname as well. “I’m the legend: Thanos! I’ll revive half the world with my lyrics, so watch out.”

After Thano’s little declaration, you couldn’t really pay attention to the other two (Min-su and Nam-gyu, if your memory serves you well). The short shy boy that had been trailing Se-mi when she asked you to join the team was just as quiet as he was before, but now that you’re really paying attention, you realize that he bears a striking resemblance to someone you knew.

Laughter rings out as you chase him through the yard. Short legs, shorter than yours, don’t take him too far before your open palm collides with his small back, causing him to practically faceplant into the dirt. His muffled cries come out soon after, and even with your sorry attempts to soothe him, your aunt still comes running out, scolding you for playing so roughly with her young son.

It’s the last time you’ll see them, even if you didn’t realize it then.

You break your gaze away as you shift uncomfortably at the sudden memory - 125 is not your cousin, he’s a stranger.

You glance around the room for a bit before deciding you’ve sufficiently distracted yourself. When you draw your focus back towards Se-mi, you see her staring off into the distance as well, having made the wonderful decision to not pay attention to the drug-riddled rambling of the rapper who had become the de-facto leader of the group. As if she can sense your gaze, she breaks her staring contest with the wall across the room to turn her head in your direction.

As your eyes meet again, you don’t look away, and you’re pretty sure she smiles a bit at this.

Smug.

—

When it’s time to vote yet again, you’re just as set on your choice as you were before. The guilt of voting for the games to continue even after seeing 095 cry and beg for her life weighs heavy on your heart, but the money just isn’t quite enough for you to quit yet.

When you drag yourself back over to the side cheering and throwing their fists in the air for the death games to continue, you have to stop for a second and close your eyes.

No-eul’s face is so clear in your mind, and so is every memory you have of her crying over her lost daughter.

It’s easier to stand with these people when you remember what you’re fighting for.

—

Even with the confidence you felt in your choice, your guilt isn’t dispelled and you can barely bring yourself to eat the dinner provided to you. You push around the egg with your spoon, head cradled in your hand as you stare down at the ground; it’s a pitiful scene, and you’re probably scaring off any potential future teammates, but in the moment, you truly couldn’t care less.

“Does it taste that bad?” The voice is teasing, and you immediately know who it is before she even sits down beside you.

“I’m not hungry right now, that’s all.”

“Bullshit,” she says with a laugh, and you finally look up from the speck on the floor just to shoot her a dirty look. She responds with a mischievous one in kind. “You feel bad or something? Starving yourself isn’t gonna change the vote on your chest.”

With a heavy sigh, you shove a spoonful of rice in your mouth just to shut her up, but all you do is earn another laugh from her. It’s a nice sound to hear, but you'd jam your spoon into your neck before admitting something like that to her.

“Where are the other three?”

She raises a brow and slightly leans back, revealing Min-su almost tucked into her side like a shaking child. If you all didn’t share your ages earlier, you would've thought he was only in his late teens with the way he was acting. “Thanos and Nam-gyu are digging into their candy stash again, if you know what I mean.”

A loud unprompted Woo! C’mon Man! from across the room confirms her answer, and you scoff.

“Addicts.” Another laugh from her, and finally, you’ve decided that you’ve had enough with trying to eat when your body damn near wants to reject it. “So, why are you here then?”

“Same as everybody else,” she looks over at you with an expression that says ‘obviously.’ “I’ve got some debt I’m trying to get rid of.”

You’re about to clarify that you actually meant to ask her why she was here, next to you and not why she was participating in a bunch of death games, but you push that thought aside for now. Curiosity takes over as your eyes try to uncover something, anything in her expression.

Piercings, careless attitude, but her eyes are soft when she looks at you and Min-su. She seems smart enough. Beautiful as well. How the hell did someone like her get into enough debt to want to participate in something like this?

“Aren’t you afraid of dying though?” It’s a weirdly deep question that you regret asking as soon as it leaves your mouth, but she only does her signature smirk before answering you.

“There are plenty of things out there that can kill me too. This place isn’t so different.” Except for the fact that you’re now living with the possibility of being shot for failing a kids’ game, but alright, you can accept that answer. When faced with your silence after her answer, Se-mi lifts a hand to gently grab the blue patch on your chest, examining it with apparent interest.

“How about you? Why did you choose to die?”

It’s an incredibly morbid way to put it even though from her tone, you can tell she’s obviously joking. Either way, it makes you grimace and destroys the confident demeanor you tried to hold up to match with hers. What could you say to a question like that? That you signed up to get money for someone else? That you could maybe even have lived a debt-free, semi-peaceful life without this other person, but you would rather die without her?

“It’s… yeah, it’s debt money for me too.” The lie leaves your mouth easily, but Se-mi doesn’t look convinced at all. Her doubtful gaze burns holes into the side of your face, and you’re beginning to desperately search for something to take her attention off you. Your reprieve comes in the form of the slight movement you spot behind her.

You don’t actually know this woman, and for now, you don’t intend to.

“Min-su, how about you?” Her intense gaze finally breaks, and she shifts to look at Min-su as well.

“Huh?”

“Why are you here?” You force your voice to be softer this time, less urgent to match with his jumpy nature. He’s calmer now, but there’s still shame evident in his expression even though he hasn’t even told you two anything yet.

“I… I just had some student loans, that’s all.” Se-mi makes the same face she made at you towards him and he winces, obviously unwilling to spill his secrets. You almost feel bad for the guy, especially with the way Se-mi is beginning to pester him a bit now. Seems like two unnecessarily vague answers were pushing her buttons a bit, and the idea that you’ve managed to irk this carefree woman is kind of satisfying.

After a while of listening to their back and forth (which mainly consisted of Min-su asking Se-mi how she’s so calm in ten different ways), out of pure boredom, you decide to test the waters one last time.

“It’s not really debt money for me.”

This catches their attention straight away, and Se-mi looks far more interested in this answer than your previous one. You drop your eyes back to the ground in preparation for your admission.

“Then what’s it for?”

“I’m planning on giving all the money I win to someone else. They’ll use it for their own... personal reasons.” Not exactly the full truth, but it’s part of it and you think she deserves at least that after recruiting you to her team.

For a second, you expect laughter to break out right in your face. You prepare to answer questions about why you would risk your life for someone else’s goal, but it never comes. Instead, when you look back up, all you see are two pairs of understanding eyes, not a hint of mockery in their gaze.

If anything, Se-mi almost looks proud of your answer.

“Actually… I joined the game to try and help my mom out a bit, that’s all. I wasn’t able to get a good job after school, so I want to make up for it.” Min-su’s words sound like those of a young boy still trying to understand the world around him. “I’m all she’s got left now.”

What was someone like him doing in an evil place like this?

“Man, you two are making me feel kinda bad,” Se-mi says, chuckling to herself before leaning back a bit to look at you square in the face.

She doesn’t doubt Min-su’s story, and even though she doubted yours for a split second, she sees nothing but genuine honesty and a hint of embarrassment in your eyes. This revelation fills her with relief, and for the first time, she spares you both a genuine smile.

“I figured you two were nice, generous people when we teamed up.” The newfound but genuine friendliness she exudes surprises you, but it’s a welcome change. “I’m glad I might just be right, and I’m hanging out with some good people for once.”

“Well, I hope I could say the same about you.”

She throws her head back in laughter at this, and you begin to think that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to know these people after all.

—

“Can I use the bathroom please?”

This time, you don’t bother to knock, and as expected, your voice is all she needs to open the door and step aside. It was actually surprisingly quick this time too, as if she had been waiting on the other side already.

The air is tense, a feeling you never really associated with No-eul, but it’s late and the earlier conversation you had with your two new friends didn’t do much to dispel your undying anxiety about tomorrow. You can feel her gaze on you even from behind that mask, but you pay her no mind as you rush your wet hands across your reddened face and hair. The cooling effect is instant, and now, you finally feel ready to face her.

“Take off the mask, please.” Your voice is more exasperated than you intended it to be, but you can’t cover up the fatigue you’ve been feeling since the start of the games. It’s probably more of an emotional exhaustion thing, but you don’t want to think about all that right now.

As she’s going through the process of removing the layers covering her face from you, you begin heading over to the far end of the bathroom, eventually dropping to the floor with a heavy sigh. She’s staring at you expectedly.

“The gloves too.”

She doesn’t protest or even sigh, simply pulling them off her hands before shoving them into the pockets of her pink tracksuit. She takes this opportunity to run her fingers through her hair, bangs previously stuck to her face being pushed back out of the way. In that process, she reveals a red, clearly fresh cut on the side of her face. You practically jump up from the floor and stomp right back over to her.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Don’t worry, it was just a tussle with some of the other guards.” Your hands gingerly cup her face as you tilt it to examine the wound. She can feel her skin tingle where your fingertips gingerly graze it. “I handled it.”

You sigh heavily at her dismissal of the open wound on her face and walk around her to grab some paper towels, turning on the faucet to let cold water flow onto them.

“Fuck, No-eul, you’re not even participating in the games and you’re still finding ways to get injured.” Your hands are still shaking a bit when you come back over to her, gently dabbing the dried blood off her cheek. Her gaze is heavy on you, but you can’t bring yourself to look her in the eye right now. Not when you can practically feel her eyes all over your face, your body, every part of you.

As she stands there, No-eul’s mind begins to wander. How can you stand here, right in front of her after everything? Sometimes she genuinely believes you’re an angel sent from heaven to give her reprieve from the pain in her life; a gentle soul, who, even now, overlooks her greatest faults.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes out, gently taking your trembling hand in hers and pulling it away from her face. There’s an uncharacteristic softness in her expression, but you’ve seen it enough times to understand what it really conveys: guilt.

“You don’t have to apologize for something like this,” you say, clearing your throat as you turn to throw the paper towel away. “If you say everything’s fine, I’ll believe you.” Like always.

It's silent for a moment - almost peaceful - before her face twists as if she's just recalled an unpleasant memory.

“Who was that girl you were with? 380.” You scoff at her sudden question and turn around with pure confusion on your face.

“What?”

“She brought you over to those drug heads earlier. It’s not safe to hang around people like that, especially not in a place like this.” You bite back a response that said, well, you're currently with one of the guards that were gunning down people earlier, so how does that work?

“God, No-eul, it’s just a shitty temporary team-up kind of thing,” you laugh slightly at your own words, making sure to leave out your already growing attachment to two people in your little group. “What, did you expect me to try to do this all on my own?”

Her growing agitation is evident as her jaw visibly clenches and she turns away a bit, resting her hands on the back of the rifle slung around her shoulder. “I’m saying you should choose better, they’re the type of people who would drop you in a split second if it meant they could survive another day.”

“You think I don’t know that? Two of them are constantly high out of their minds and the other two-” You interrupt yourself with a sigh, shutting your eyes as your head droops; unfortunately, you can’t actually think of any reason you could have to distrust the unexpectedly kind girl and the shy boy you’ve grown acquainted with.

If they turned their backs on you, you would be lying if you said it wouldn’t phase you in the slightest.

No-eul begins feeling guilty again when she watches your shoulders drop and your eyes dim at the realization of the shitty situation you’ve found yourself in. Even so, her eyes don’t miss the unchanging patch on your sweater: a blue rectangle, neatly stitched with an O in the center. She bites her lip and curses under her breath. Always playing the hero, even at the expense of yourself.

She slowly walks back over to you, lifting up a single hand to trace the patch that signified your choice to give your life for hers.

“The issue isn’t the money,” the broker exclaims, his voice a mix of pity and exasperation at her persistence. “We’ve searched, we’ve been searching for years now, but a one-year old alone… especially after her mother deserted…?” Her expression hardens and he winces at the unintentional cruelty in his statement. “It’s almost impossible by now, No-eul.”

Her anger is barely contained when she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder, and a newfound calmness washes over her in waves.

“We understand the circumstances, sir, but please, please keep searching.” His expression softens slightly at the kind, weary smile on yours. “We’ll handle the expenses, all we ask is that you believe in this search too.”

She almost wants to cry at the sound of your sweet voice.

“We still have hope.”

“Get out of your head, No-eul.”

She’s startled back to reality when she feels gentle hands caress the scars on her wrists. Instinctively, she goes to pull away, but you step forward at the same time and press your body against hers, keeping a firm yet gentle grip on her wrists, fingertips still tracing the marks of the pain she’s held onto for seven years.

“Please don’t forget, this was my choice.” Your voice is muffled against the crook of her neck, but it’s just as gentle as she remembers it to be. “I still have hope.”

With those simple words, she feels the dream she’s held onto for years glow just a bit brighter. Closing her eyes, she leans head to rest atop yours, gently removing her arms from your grip to wrap them firmly around your body. You don’t hesitate to reciprocate her hold.

“Me too.” Your grip on her tightens just barely. “I still have hope too.”

—

A/N: WOW SORRY PLOT DUMP ALERT!! I love some good set-up but I hope the yearning was enough to make up for the lack of obvious romance like smut..

Never posted on Tumblr before too so I have no clue if I did this right (like formatting)! again, any thoughts on the fic are appreciated and ill probably (hopefully) finish part 2 soon! that part will prob be better cuz the relationship between all characters are all set up now. might cross post on ao3/wattpad but haven't decide yet

[moeblob]

I think we should all disregard that these requests were from April C:

@sun-marie @kirikitsune

[redflagshipwriter]

Hot Ghouls in Your Area 8

Chapter 8

Masterpost

“You're just now going to campus?” Jazz said. Danny scowled ahead at the sidewalk. Her tone wasn't judgmental so much as mildly surprised. He still hated it. “That's a lot later than usual. Is everything alright?” Danny hunched his shoulders up and consciously reminded himself not to get defensive. He wasn't slacking. He'd gotten home after his class and slept 13 hours. He still felt wiped out.

“Ghost stuff,” he said cryptically. “Ruined my night.” He dodged someone on the sidewalk without thinking about it, used to the crowds by now.

Jazz inhaled sharply into his ear. “They're supposed to leave you alone to focus on your education,” she hissed. “Just so you know, I do have the venomous Fenton electric creep stick-”

“Yeah, I know,” Danny cut her off. She was probably holding it up right now, thumb on the trigger. He couldn't fight off the rueful smile. She had his back, didn't she? Always did. With that in mind… “I think I need help,” he admitted. Oof. Felt bad. Not as bad as failing his classes, though, which was the danger if he got pulled too deep into more Ghost bull honkey.

“Of course!” Jazz enthused. He stepped off the curb and then quick-stepped backwards to avoid getting hit by some asshole running the red light. Danny lifted up his free hand to flip them off as he hung on his heels on the edge of the pavement drop. He dropped lightly back onto the balls of his feet and jogged across the street.

Jazz was still talking, voice clear over the morning meld of honking and running engines. “How about you come over to my place after your classes tonight? My roommate is out for a conference.”

“You just don't want to come to Crime Alley,” Danny accused her. “Even for me, your beloved baby brother.” He dodged a car that was parked on the cross walk and made an ugly face at the driver. “Despite your professed love for crime, when it counts, it's all talk.”

“I don't love crime,” Jazz reiterated with her inhuman patience. She didn't take the bait of his deliberate mischaracterization of her career plans. “But I am exquisitely stabbable." Her tone went lofty with the brag. "So yes, I avoid Crime Alley.”

Danny blew an unimpressed raspberry to show what he thought of that.

He hadn't met anyone in Gotham yet who he thought would really throw Jazz for a loop. She was a 6ft 2 judo black belt, and she was liminally spooky as fuck. “No one would stab you,” he said, making it sound like an insult. His janky ass was more likely to get held up. "But fine, I'll haul my poor broken corpse all the way over there to do you a favor-”

“So I can do you a favor,” Jazz corrected wryly.

“My poor broken corpse,” Danny cut back in, because that was a really relevant factor to him. He put the back of his hand to his forehead and swooned a little. He felt like he'd been in a tumble dryer. Missing a full night of sleep was an insufferable insult to his desperate shoe-string construction of a healthy routine.

“I would so get robbed if I came there,” Jazz argued. “Maybe even kidnapped.” He could all but hear her flip her hair.

He snorted but let her keep her delicate feminine delusions about not being one of the scariest motherfuckers in the crime capital of the country. He wasn't actually worried about her interning at Arkham Asylum. Maybe he'd freaked out a little when she'd moved here, but that wasn't why he was here. No matter what anyone said.

“There's no immediate danger, right?” Jazz checked. “No reason I need to be concerned today?”

“Nah,” Danny reassured her, as the campus came into sight. He had about an hour before class to spend in the lab before his lecture. “It's not that kind of problem.” He felt his face arranged itself into a wry smile. “You might like this one.”

“Oh?” Jazz asked, intrigued. “Do tell.”

“Only after I've sworn you to perfect silence,” Danny shot back instantly. “I mean it, for real, you can't tell a soul living or dead or nonliving or-”

“I think I get it,” she cut him off. Jazz huffed. “As if I can't keep a secret. You think I can't keep secrets? I know the most incredible things that you could never dream up.”

“...Big if true,” Danny snarked, pretending that he wasn't extremely interested.

“You never knew what happened to the Robinsons,” Jazz said airily. “And you never will.”

“...that doesn't bother me at all,” Danny lied. He stopped walking.

“Ahuh,” Jazz said knowingly. “Hey, remember the neon cheese incident?”

Danny gritted his teeth. “Can't say I do,” he said. It was bullshit, and even he knew it wasn't convincing Jazz. He was dying to know the truth. It had been the talk of the town for weeks and was still occasionally featured on unsolved mystery podcasts. He'd gone far enough to ask the Dairy King, but even the dead wouldn't speak on it.

“Have a good day of classes, little brother,” Jazz said sweetly. She ended the call.

He rubbed at his temples. Ancients, she gave him a headache. She was fantastic. She was killing him and absolutely ruining his unlife. He couldn't even beg her for answers about the neon cheese, because if he managed to badger it out of her, it would prove she could be manipulated into telling secrets. That would be a loss anyway. It was more likely that either she didn't know anything or that she knew and her lips would stay sealed: Danny didn't have any to waste his breath.

He did a few calming rounds of breathing, now that he was thinking about it, and then went on with his day a bit invigorated by the familial aggravation.

Danny felt a little better about focusing on class now that he knew he could count on Jazz in his corner. She was the smartest person he knew. She could probably get him divorced by the end of the day. Hell, she probably already had a contingency plan for getting him a divorce. She was so ready for him to have a relationship so that he would have relationship problems to ask her about.

When he finished up on campus, Danny cut across town to pick up takeout food as an offering. He presented it to Jazz as soon as she opened the door, head bowed and food theatrically high.

“Oh, come in,” Jazz said, exasperated. She grabbed him by the back of his collar and bodily pulled him inside. “My neighbors are going to think I'm so weird, Danny!”

“My liege,” he intoned seriously. “I come bearing- ow! Stop hitting my- hey, my face!” Danny wrestled away from the horrible pinching grip his terrible sister had on his cheeks, scowling. “That hurt,” he complained. “Have you ever thought that you're getting caught up in the cycle of violence?”

“I don't lose sleep over it.” Jazz lowered herself delicately onto one of the weird puffs she had instead of chairs and made grabby hands at the takeout. “What did you get me?”

“Coal,” Danny snarked. But he handed over the bag without a fight and plopped himself onto the closest poof thing. He fully laid out and let his head flop past the edge to hang upside down.

“Inversion therapy, so chic,” Jazz said absently.

He considered flipping her off, but his balance was really off in this position and it would be hard to defend himself if she lunged at him. Hell, if she picked up his legs he'd probably tip over onto the floor. Danny dug his heels into the side of the poof in defensive preparation. He kept her in his peripheral vision.

“Oh, Malaysian,” Jazz enthused. “I wanted to have this!” She sounded a little too surprised.

He shot her a thumbs up. Two days ago, she'd sent him a screenshot of a text landing from someone else that had shown most of her screen was the active map app she was using to get to an appointment. The Malaysian restaurant had the star mark that she put on the places that she wanted to try.

He'd gambled that she hadn't gone yet because she hadn't had a late night at work. Jazz only got takeout with company or if she got home too late to cook.

“Cool,” Danny said, because he didn't want his rotten sister to think he cared about her interests. “It was on the way and it smelled good.”

Jazz hummed and put the food on the side table. “So I see.” She folded her fingers in front of her face and peered at him over the steeple. “What happened? What ghost do I need to soup with a fragrant combination of turmeric and saffron?”

“Please don't waste that, ghosts taste fine on their own,” Danny said.

Jazz grimaced. “Ew, Danny,” she enunciated carefully. She paused. “Ew.”

He shrugged and accidentally slipped a little closer to the floor. “Just saying. But actually, no one dead was involved, unless we count-”

“We don't count,” Jazz cut him off, serenely unbothered by his attempts to score empathy points off his death. She was a cold customer.

“Boo,” Danny said, because he knew his brand and respected ghost tradition. “Anyway, Jeremy Waters. Remember -”

“How could I forget,” Jazz muttered. She put her hands on her face.

“Hey,” Danny said, offended that Jeremy got that reaction and he got a big fat impassive nothing no matter how annoying he was.

“What’s Jeremy done?” Jazz sounded exhausted by the concept.

“Well… He uh.” Danny stared at the ceiling. He couldn't look at her directly. “Well. You know how he wants the good favor of the god of the underworld?”

“Yup.” Jazz hit the ‘p’ sound hard.

“He uh, hit the idea that uh. Maybe a Persephone of sorts was just the thing to suck up.”

He heard fabric rustle as Jazz sat up. “He did?”

Wow, she had one of the most fascinating ceilings in the world. Danny stared intently up at a splotch that looked vaguely malign. She ought to get that checked out by an expert before it possessed somebody. “Yeah, so he's been trying to vault people into the Ghost Zone as bridal sacrifices.”

“Ahuh.” Jazz sounded a little bit choked up. She wasn't laughing, so he couldn't complain.

“I had Dani get Vlad look into it-” because Dad or Mom would have been mortifying- “and apparently, he told her the odds of some hack wizard managing to send a living human to the ghost zone was laughable.”

He paused. He couldn't go on.

“And Vlad would know,” Jazz said leadingly.

Danny put a hand over his face. “Yeah, see, the thing is that I'm now very concerned that Vlad might not know.” His words came out muffled.

Jazz was so intent on him. He pretended even harder not to know she was leaning in towards him. “Does- does the ghost king have a bride, Danny?” She somehow managed in a professional tone.

He nodded miserably.

She promptly lost her shit laughing at his misfortune.

[sleepytoycollection]

One Way to Repair a Broken Doll Arm

Today I'll be walking you through how I repaired this Ever After High Lizzie Hearts doll's broken arm. While I wouldn't call this a fool-proof method, and I'm not sure that this repair would hold up to being played with, if you've got a beloved doll you want to repair, this should be just fine for a doll that's mostly going to be displayed.

The best part is, this will retain the articulation of the arm and/or knee (this method will technically also work for knee joints, though knees are harder than arms to work with). So let's jump in.

Tools required: Craft Knife, Jewelry pliers, Wire (gauge depends on size of joint), Super Glue, Hot Glue, Patience.

Let's start with our patient.

I thrifted this Lizzie doll a few days ago, along with a Venus McFlytrap, as shown in the above image. As soon as I saw the taped up arm, I knew the joint was broken, but hey, she was like 80c USD. I can apply some elbow grease for that cheap. Plus it gives me an excuse to finally make this tutorial.

They went a little overkill with that much tape, but whatever works?

I cut the tape off carefully with a craft knife. I didn't take a pic of that, but I think you can image what a broken doll arm looks like. Unless you have aphantasia I guess, but that's getting off topic.

First thing I did was use the craft knife to slice along the seam lines, then pried the upper arm open (slowly. seriously go slow.) with a pair of jewelry pliers. It will leave marks on the plastic, but I can buff those out later.

Why am I doing this if the arm's already broken? I want to remove what's left of the peg that's in there. You could also drill it out if you have a dremel, but I wanted to avoid this tutorial needing power tools.

So here's the arm, pried open, with the peg removed.

To close it back up, I used a tiny bit of acetone to melt the plastic at the seams, then held it together until it hardened enough to stay in place. Leave it for a few hours to make sure it's all fully cured, then you can sand the area smooth.

And here's the arm with the broken peg.

So what now? We need to remove the peg piece that's attached to the elbow. I couldn't get a photo of that since it's a delicate process and I only have 2 hands, but here's an artist rendering that would give you the idea.

Take a craft knife, and SLOWLY. CAREFULLY. cut into the ring that surrounds the elbow joint. YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO TOO DEEP, TOO QUICKLY. YOU DO NOT WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY CUT THROUGH THE ELBOW POST. Just go nice and slow. Just chip a little out at a time until you get to the center.

Use pliers as well to pull out the rest of the bits, though you might have to cut a good bit out before you can pull the rest out.

As for my doll, the operation went successfully.

This is what the elbow looks like with the joint peg removed.

Now we've gotten past the hard part, we'll cut off a few inches of wire and string that though the elbow joint. Once through, we'll twist it until it's reasonably tight to the joint. If that makes sense.

It should look like this. Give it a test fit and cut the wire shorter as needed so there's no gap in the joint.

My test fit. Yep, I recycled this for the top photo as well. The blue is just painter's tape.

If you find you can't get it tight enough, and it feels too loose, I'd add a drop a super glue in there. Just keep moving the joint as the glue dries, and it'll add some friction so your arm will hold a pose.

Speaking of glue, I also add a dab of hot glue to the top of our new peg. The coating will add thickness that will help it stay in the upper arm. Tape works too, but hot glue holds up better.

Here's our newly repaired arm back on the doll. Aside from a slight glimmer of silver, the repair is not very obvious I think.

Lizzie can now enjoy having two functional arms again. Whoo-hoo.

While not 100% a beginner repair, it's not particularly difficult either. Just takes some patience and a reasonably steady hand.

Before I go though, some disclaimers/notes: Some wires can rust overtime, so keep an eye on your doll to make sure the wire isn't degrading and discoloring them.

Also, if you do a repair like this, then sell the doll, do let the buyer know. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that, but don't be one of those sellers okay?

This same method can be used for knees, but thighs tend to be made of a harder plastic, and it can be more difficult to pry them open to take the old, broken peg out with out major damage to the upper leg.

Good luck with your repairs! Love y'all. c:

[moody-alcoholic]

Scapegoat

AN: I hit 200 followers which actually blows my mind the people like my work so I'm uploading 2 chapters as a thank you <3. ALSO there is more smut to come the next few chapters is a lot of angst and hurt/comfort, a lot of bad people doing bad things... The next 2-3ish chapters are the ones I'm worried about posting the most since things take a sharp turn downhill. I will say though, this story does have a happy ending, just got to get through some hurt first.

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 2.7k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe. CW: Medical stuff, medical inaccuracy, descriptions of CPR, CPR.

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

Enjoy <3

You’re on the ward today, it’s almost empty most of the people who were here yesterday seeking treatment have been discharged. 

“Quiet?” You look up to see the doctor reaching down for a medical file on the desk you’re sat at.

“Don’t say that word, you’ll curse us.” You protest reaching over to hand him the file. 

“Don’t be silly that’s just a myth, the only reason you think it get’s busier is because you’re paying more attention to the passage of time.” He says opening the file, then signing something in it. 

“Well if that’s the case I will go for my break, and I’m sure it won’t get busy.” You get up taking the file from him and putting it back in it’s spot. 

“You have your pager?” You show him the device on your hip as you walk out the ward to the canteen. You’re still actively trying to avoid Jack and thankfully since the little incident yesterday you have not seen him. Guess running this place is keeping him busy. You shove some food down your throat, you’re not really hungry but you haven’t eaten anything all day and the last thing you want is to be passing out in this heat.

You take your time almost on purpose you check your phone. Nothing, other then the one attempted call you let ring out. You had been becoming more and more paranoid since the ‘chat’ with Jack and you don’t know why. You just hope Johnny and Simon are okay, you knew they would be they’re soldiers, SAS soldiers they are more then capable of taking care of themselves. You leave the canteen when it starts getting busier heading back to the ward. 

“See, not a single person.” The doctor says sitting in the same chair you were in. 

“Well I stand corrected.” You say throwing your hands up. He chuckles getting up to let you sit down. You walk round the desk as he wobbles. You put your hands out to steady him.

“You feeling okay?” You ask as he braces himself on the desk. 

“Yeah just tired, I think I need a lie down.” He says standing up straight, he looks clammy. 

“Why don’t you lie down in the ward, it’s cool in there and you won’t have to go far.” You say, you manged to feel his forehead he’s not warm but he does seem a bit out of it. 

“Okay,” He says walking into the ward, you help him in the bed and grab him a glass of water. 

“Ring the bell if you need anything, I’ll come check on you in an hour or so.” You say pulling the curtain round. That was weird, you head back to the desk when the phone rings. 

“Medical.” You say picking the phone up. 

“Hey we’ve got a guy here who might have broke his ankle can you get to the supply depot intake?” A voice on the other end says.

“Yeah I’m on my way.” You reply hanging up and typing in another number. 

“Hey, I need to go deal with a suspected broken ankle can you come watch the bay?” you say to which ever nurse just picked up. She’s says she’s on her way and you wait, when she arrives you see it’s the same nurse who unknowingly saved you from Jack yesterday. 

“The doctor wasn’t feeling well he went to lie down in the ward.” You say as you grab the med bag off it’s hook. 

“Is he okay?” She asks. 

“Yeah just the heat I think, check on him in like 20 minutes if I’m not back.” She nods and you head out to the supply intake. Even though the base is small the supply depots are massive, filled to the brim with all sorts of supplies you make your way down seeing soldiers circled round someone on the floor. 

“See this is why you have to look where you’re going.” Someone says as you push your way through. 

“See we’ve even got the cute nurse for you.” Another says, you roll your eyes.

“Alright settle down, get back to work.” You look up and see an officer standing above you, he explains what happened, he fell off the loading dock landed on his ankle. It didn’t look too swollen from what you could tell. 

“You can sit with it elevated and I’ll give you an ice pack. If the swelling doesn't go down you might need to go to Damascus for an x-ray.” You say handing him a cool pack from the bag. He nods and you help him on his feet to a chair.

“Want any pain relief?” You ask, he shakes his head, the officer says he’ll keep and eye on him and thanks you for your help. You nod deciding for whatever reason to take the long way back to the ward. You’re enjoying the walk in the sun, it takes your mind off of missing Johnny and Simon, you’re in a world of your own remembering the last few days together how nice it was that you almost miss the beeping of your pager. 911, medbay. You rush inside heading straight in dumping the bag at the nurses station as you see the nurse doing CPR on the doctor in bed. 

“What happened!” You ask rushing over and pulling gloves on. 

“I don’t know I went to check on him and he wasn’t breathing.” She says between breaths.

“Let me take over.” You say switching with her so she can get a break. You hear more medical staff run in the room, the alarm would have gone out to all medical staff. And Jack.  One of the nurses comes over to try and get a IV in and a medic takes over control of the situation. 

“Okay once we’ve got a line in lets push epi right away, someone get him on a monitor when was the last pulse check?” He asks. The nurse replies and he orders you to stop CPR so we can check. No pulse. You switch with someone else doing CPR as you stand to the side waiting until you will take over for them. What happened? He seemed fine? Is it an underling condition? Heart attacks don’t just happen. All of a sudden you feel guilty, he has a kid and wife at home. We’re doing everything we can. You remind yourself. There’s a shock, a pulse check, no change. You take over CPR letting the other person rest. It’s not looking good you look over at the medic, he looks lost, the only doctor on the base is down. Another round of adrenaline, another shock another rhythm check. Nothing, asystole, we all look at the medic. There is nothing we can do, he asks if we all think we should stop. There are some murmurs, some nods, the medic looks round one more time and sighs.  

“I can’t call it we need a doctor.” He says. You step back.

“I’ll call it in.” You say leaving the room going over to the nurses station. You slump down in the chair looking at the phone. The nurses in the room have started leaving, it’s only the medic and the nurse from earlier now. You pick up the phone opening a book and finding the number for the main Damascus base. The doors to the med bay open as the call rings through. You hold your breath as Jack walks in he goes into the ward talking to the medic. When someone picks up on the other end of the phone you explain the situation, it’s like your body is running on auto-pilot. 

“They’ll be someone over within the next 2 hours to processes the body.” They say. You don’t even say thank you you don’t even remember saying goodbye. You just remember putting the phone down looking over at the doctors body on the bed. Michael, his name was Michael, he has a 3 year old son called Harry, after Price Harry. A wife called Alice, who loves to paint. Now he was dead. 

“I can take watch if you want to get some rest.” You hear a voice beside you. It’s the nurse, you don’t even know her name.

“Call me when they get here, they said they would be here within the next 2 hours.” She nods and you head to the dorms. They’re empty you flop down on your bed. You remember seeing Jacks eyes follow you as you left the ward. You close your eyes, trying not to cry. You can’t help but think about his wife, a widow now. His son will grow up without a dad. You feel guilty, you roll over closing your eyes.   ——————————  You wake to your pager beeping you back to the ward. You look round the room it’s still empty, it’s only been half an hour if that. They can’t be here already, the drive from Damascus takes at least an hour. You get up anyway heading to the ward. When you walk in you almost pass out. There is Johnny, Simon, Price and a man you’ve never met before who must be Gaz. You look over into the ward, his body has been zipped up in a body bag and the curtains almost all the way drawn, you swallow hard getting rid of the lump in your throat. 

“Well I’ll tell ye what lass, give us her bunk and we’ll find her ourselves.” You hear Johnny say as he’s bent over the counter of the nurses station. You walk up to the desk not quite believing it.

“There she is!” Johnny shouts as he sees you. 

“You’re not here for the body are you?” You ask them.

“The body?” Price asks. You press your lips together, your eyes wonder to Simon, although you can’t see his face under his mask. His eyes still look soft though, kind. Johnny is looking at you with that cheeky grin on his face. You just want to jump in his arms, you want to just blurt everything out, you just want to feel them holding you again.

“The Major is on his way.” The nurse says.

“Of course he is.” You sigh as she gets up and you take her seat. She waves goodbye and tells you she’ll see you later. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask quietly. 

“We were invited.” Johnny says. You look confused but you don’t have time to question it as Jack walks through the double doors. 

“Good to see you again captain.” Jack says extending his hand out so John could shake it. You felt sick sitting up straighter in your chair as Jack makes friendly with everyone. 

“Come through to my office, we have a lot to discuss.” He says gesturing them to the exit.

“You’ll let me know when the doctor from Damascus gets here?” Jack says looking over at you. 

“Course sir.” You reply, he smiles back at you it makes you feel sick. What the hell did he want? What was the play here? Yesterday he was threatening you to get information from them now they’re here. A part of you hoped they were here for you. Hoped the cryptic message you sent to Johnny was enough to get alarm bells ringing. You shook the thought away, they weren't here for you, besides Jack hasn’t done anything since, maybe he was just having a bad day. Right now all you needed to focus on was Michael, and getting his body secure so he can go home.

You spend the next few hours doing nothing at all, no calls, no one comes in for help. They come for the body about half an hour after 141 arrived, you call Jack but he doesn't come. They take a statement from you and then he’s gone. Your shift is supposed to be over soon, you flick through a random medical journal as you wait for your replacement. It’s the medic from earlier. 

“They took the body then?” He asks as you get up. You nod. 

“Did he have a family.” 

“A wife and kid.” You say. 

“That sucks.” He replies. You nod again heading for the door. You’re not hungry you just want to sleep get away from today.

“Hey!” The medic shouts back just as you’re about to go through the doors. You crane your head back to look at him.

“The major want’s you in his office.” You feel sick but nod at him. You feel like you can smell the death in the air, no it’s just your imagination. There is no such thing as the smell of death, just the smell of decomposing bodies. You make it to Jacks office and knock on the door.

“Come in.” You open the door and walk in.  

“Sit.” Jack says. 

“I would prefer to stand sir.” You say. He sighs. There is another knock at the door. 

“Come in!” Jack shouts, two soldiers walk in you look at them then back to Jack confused. 

“So we got the results back from the autopsy.” You look at him shocked.

“That was quick.” You say. He nods.

“It was rushed through given the circumstances of the situation.” He says, you can’t help but feel like you’re about to get told off again, like you’re a kid in the headmasters office. 

“Turns out the doctor had lethal amounts of insulin in his system.” Jack says, you look at him confused and scoff.

“He wasn’t diabetic.” You say. Jack nods, he spins the computer monitor around so you can see. 

“This is your ID card withdrawing a very large amount of insulin,” he says standing up his hands flat on the desk table. 

“I didn’t do that, it must be a mistake.” You scoff. He looks serious.

“I’m sorry what are you accusing me of?” You ask suddenly nervous. 

“Look I can make this easy for you, just confess to what you did and we can skip the court-marshal, you’ll be back on a flight to the UK tonight.” Jack says, you look around at the two soldiers behind you who you can almost feel pressing up against you.

“You’re crazy.” You laugh. He sighs hanging his head, for a second you think you see genuine sympathy. 

“I tried to give you a chance.” He says shrugging then he gestures to the soldiers behind you who grab your arms. You hear the clicking of cuffs before you can react. What were you going to do anyway? They’re way bigger then you, stronger. 

“What is going on!” You shout, almost not believing what is happening. Your mind turns to Simon and Johnny were they still here? You were going to look for them when your shift had finished, now you’re in cuffs being accused of murder. Jack comes round the desk to look you in your eyes, he leans in to whisper in your ear, you pull your head back as far as it will go.

“I told you I could make your life very difficult.” You feel his breath on your neck you feel sick, you can’t believe what is happening. 

“Take her to the cells, as of right now she’s to be treated as an enemy of the state.” 

“What the actual fuck! Asshole!” Is all you manage to shout as you’re dragged through the doors. You don’t know what to say, what to do. Johnny and Simon can’t help you. Maybe this was his plan all along? You get to the tiny detention wing of the base. You don’t think this has ever been used, the whole place seems to be covered in a layer of sand and dust, and it’s hot.

You’re pressed up against a wall and patted down, your phone, pager, radio, everything is taken off you. You’re stripped down to your shirt and pants, they take your boot’s and belt. You look at them in the eyes your two guards, you don’t recognise them maybe they came from Damascus. They don’t say anything, they won’t meet your eye line. You're still too shocked to say anything, to confused to attempt to fight. They take the cuffs off and you’re thrown into a room the door bolted behind you. You look over at the padded bed, the florescent lights and the cold concrete walls. You pull your legs up to your chest burring your head in your knees. What the hell just happened. 

Next part

[marthawrites]

"don't shut me out. please"

I hope it is not too late for me to join the celebration ☺️ Congratulations! 💕👏🏼

Thank you sooososo much! You are such a gem and I appreciate all of your fandom love more than you know! I did my best to include a (one shot appropriate) slow burn, angst, and a happy ending. I hope you enjoy this ride MWAH!

Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning

Modern Aemond Targaryen x fem reader

Word Count: 6.3k+

About: A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.

Includes: Chance encounter, age difference (references to Aemond x Alys) mentions of cheating, allusions to cheating, angst, second chance romance, and smut featuring vaginal fingering, possessive sex, and unprotected protected vaginal sex

Note: Hello lovely reader! This is the longest piece I've wrote in quite awhile - whew! I also feel like it's one of the more ambitious one-shot fics I've worked on/completed. Reader is non-descript. As always, please, enjoy!

read part 2 Between the Covers here

-

I.

There were two things tied for number one on your five-year goal list.

First, be out of your city apartment (preferably as a home owner and not a renter)

Second, have a dog. 

They went hand in hand. One couldn’t happen without the other. So, it was a hard tie and you weren’t willing to budge on either. Until then, to take the edge off your self-proclaimed animal loneliness, you volunteered at a local shelter two nights a week. Mondays and Wednesdays.

While your day job wasn’t a doctor, lawyer, or professional athlete – ones that your family pushed you to have while growing up – it still paid decently and had the potential for career advancement. And! You were able to live on your own. Not having a roommate was worth the dry job description. Besides, your boss was fair and most of your co-workers were friendly; a win win, really.

Tonight, Monday, you finished your shift, went home to change, then headed out to the shelter. Even though it was all volunteer hours you valued punctuality and did your best to get there around the same time each night.

“Hey! You made it!” Arryk called out to you when you stepped inside the building. Chaos sparked all around. He did a great job running and maintaining the schedule, and with the help of volunteers alongside regular staff, it was, more often than not, smooth sailing. Tonight, however, it appeared quite the opposite.

“Hey! Yeah, a few minutes later than usual, sorry!” You said as you walked over to him.

He waved a hand brushing off your apology. “No worries. We had a few people call in today. So, since being short staffed we’re definitely running behind. I know you normally help bathe the dogs with Baela tonight, but can I ask you to do something else instead?” He winced slightly with his question, unsure of your answer. He knew how much you loved Baela and cleaning the dogs!

You squinted at him suspiciously. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, crossing your arms. “You know I won’t administer shots. If I could get over my fear of needles I’d be a veterinarian and not an office worker like I am!” You scrunched your brows before one, all on its own accord, arched up dubiously.

“Ha!” He laughed. “No no no, I know. We have six dogs that need walking tonight. And I don’t think Targaryen can handle all of ‘em.”

“Helaena? She’s back?” You asked, eyes bright with surprise.

“She’s still away for that college trip. It’s her younger brother, Aemond. Have you met him before?”

You’d heard Helaena talk about him, of course, but you’d never met him. Shaking your head, you peered around the shelter looking for anyone else with the Targaryen tell-tale silver-blonde hair. No one caught your eye. “I haven’t. But, I don’t mind.”

“You are a lifesaver!” He praised. “He’s down the west hall getting them ready. Depending on how long you're here afterward, there might be another couple who could use a second walk. Terriers. You know how they are.”

“Happy to help, Arryk!” He was a good guy. You’d always liked him.

“Aemond’s tall, towheaded as the rest of his family, and has an eyepatch. You can’t miss him.” And with that Cargyll switched tasks and got right back to work.

Turning and walking down the west hall, you were happy to say, chaos began to fizzle out. This hall had the larger dogs; no wonder Aemond wouldn’t be able to walk all six at once. Even with the slow turn of summer to autumn sunset wouldn’t be for another three hours. Assuming all went well you’d be able to walk the second batch of dogs, too. 

Down the aisle were five opened doors with each respective dog ready for their walk. Their leashes were hooked onto the door so they couldn’t run amuck. You patted and scratched them, earning yourself more wagging tails, a few happy barks, and some excited licks. Looking to the end of the hall you saw someone who you assumed was your evening walking partner. He was kneeling, talking soothingly to a great big senior hound, while clasping the final buckle of their harness. “Hello, uh-, Aemond?” You called out feeling slightly self-conscious. 

Still kneeling, he turned his head to look up at you. Any softness in his single eye quickly hardened to match the rest of his sharp features. “Hey,” he said, caught off guard by your presence; someone he’d never seen calling him out by name. “Is there something I can help you with?” Slowly, in a single fluid motion, he stood up and the aged dog kept his eyes on him the whole time, panting happily.

Whoa. He was tall. And, at first sight, incredibly good looking: dressed in casual black clothes, long silver hair tied into a braid, with a scar along the left side of his face that you had to tell yourself not to stare at. His mouth was a unique shape, too, and you weren’t sure if he was merely waiting for a response or if he was smirking the tiniest pout at you. “Hi,” you said again with a nervous laugh. You told him your name. “Arryk sent me. Said you could use some help with the walk tonight?” ‘Play it cool, dummy. He’s really handsome, so what? He could be a huge asshole. Play. It. Cool,’ your inner voice said.

Did he have a mechanical eye beneath his patch? The way he looked at you, then, made you feel like he read your thoughts. “Ah. I could certainly use the help,” he said smoothly with a small curve of lip, turning his attention to the three dogs at the front of the hallway. “Wanna take those three?” He asked, looping the big dog’s leash around his wrist. “I mean, you can have any of them as long as I get this guy. He’s my favorite.”

Your pulse raced a little too fast. Clearing your throat, you smiled in an attempt to ease the butterflies in your belly. “I don’t mind. Why is he your favorite?” You turned and began to unclasp leashes from their doors; happy tips and taps of claws growing louder at the pups’ excitement.

“Reminds me of my girl at home,” Aemond replied, adoration clear in his voice. “Big and old, a little stinky, a little slobbery. The best kind, really.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet. I don’t have any pets. I get my fix here,” you laughed. Holding all three dogs in one hand, you pulled the door open with the other. Except, it didn’t open. On instinct, you tried again hoping Aemond didn’t notice.

He strode up next to you with the rest of the dogs in tow, smirking at you for real this time, as he said, “it’s a push door.”

You knew it was a push door. Fuck. He gave you a knowing glance over his shoulder as he walked out, waiting for you to follow along.

II.

You didn’t see Aemond on Wednesday and you couldn’t deny your disappointment when you left for the night. Come to find out you two had been volunteering at the same place for months – only on different days. He tended to be there Tuesdays and Thursdays. 

Monday had been a chance encounter. One you couldn’t shake out of your head. 

Before leaving tonight, however, you took a selfie with Aemond’s favorite old hound. You’d exchanged numbers but hadn’t an excuse to strike up a conversation. Yet. Now, with the selfie as an excuse, you opened a fresh text thread and sent him the photo along with:

Someone missed you tonight! 

While buckling up in your car and getting ready to reverse out of your parking spot, your phone dinged with an incoming message:

Very cute. Will you be there on Monday? Maybe Cargyll will assign up walking duties again.

Your belly flipped. Truthfully, you weren’t expecting him to message back – especially so quickly. Before you could stop yourself you sent back:

Yup! See you then?

And he sent:

I’ll find another excuse to be there. 

Feeling a little bold, you replied:

Excited to see you again! You have these adorable dimples when you smile. Maybe I’ll see those, too?

When nothing came through for a few minutes, you feared you might have gone too far. It was just a little innocent flirting, right? Nothing bad? And then:

Maybe so. See you Monday.

Smiling, you didn’t send anything back. It’d be your luck to say something dumb and rub him the wrong way. 

During your first walk, as soon as the ice broke, you both clicked really well. Hopefully – just maybe – things would flow like that again. The connection you felt, something akin to a liveware, couldn’t have been one-sided. He had to feel a spark of it, too; even if just a little.

You drove home, made dinner while facetiming one of your friends from uni, and when she asked about the spark in your eye you told her about your friend Helaena’s younger brother.

III.

“I seriously cannot believe you’ve never seen The Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit trilogy was a little silly, but watchable. But you haven’t even seen that?” Aemond asked clearly aghast at your lack of understanding his reference.

Tonight, you both got walking duty again and neither of you complained. And, this time, he regarded you with a softer look in his eye than his original sharp glance. He was dressed in dark casuals again and you hated (loved?) how good he made them look. His hair was in a bun and his eyepatch stayed firmly in place. You wanted to ask him about it but weren’t sure if you should try it yet. Instead, you rolled your eyes and laughed. “You’re making it sound better and better the more you talk about it.”

“That’s because it’s the best.” The dogs pulled both of you along and you had to walk brisker than normal to keep up with them and Aemond’s longer legs. He seemed unaffected by it.

“So, you recommend I watch it?” You asked playfully.

“No,” he started, very serious. “I recommend you read it first and then watch the movies.”

If you had more breath in your lungs you’d have giggled – not laughed, but giggled. Something about the way he said it, and the totally serious look on his face, tickled you. “Will you watch them with me?”

The question appeared to catch Aemond off guard. He looked at you, lingering over your pinkened cheeks and smirking lips, before finally making it back to your eyes. Just when he opened his mouth to say something in reply, a completely unrelated thing stole his attention. Sometime during your bantering you’d made it back to the shelter, and a tall dark-haired woman called out, “there’s my sweet Aemond. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you and you haven’t been answering your phone.”

If you thought Aemond attractive, this woman made him look like any regular ol' Joe. She was elegant, warmed by a late summer tan, and had raven dark hair cascading down her back; truly a vision of enchantment. When she sauntered to him and pressed her body to his, you felt like a voyeur watching the embrace.

“Alys,” Aemond breathed quietly. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” she answered as she trailed manicured fingers across the front of his chest.

She had a timeless look to her, the kind that concealed her age. She could have been anywhere from twenty-five to fifty, you thought. You really hadn’t a clue. All you knew, now, is that you should finish your task alone.

Aemond’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. Posture tense. “I told you I was busy tonight–”

Before you could stop yourself you cut him off with an awkward wave. “See you later, Aemond.” And, with that, you walked inside before you overheard anything else they might be saying to each other. Turning to glance over your shoulder one last time, you were met with a look of deliberate triumph from Alys; she had the greenest eye you’d ever seen. 

It was haunting.

Driving home, you felt stupid. Aemond was just a guy you just met. It was silly to think someone like him would be single and even sillier to think your innocent flirtations would be working on him. You had half a mind to delete his number. Or, at the very least to delete the short message thread of your texts.

Instead of making dinner like you normally did, you called in delivery and facetimed with your friend as you waited. She immediately knew something was off and you were quick to tell her everything that happened.

Twenty minutes passed and you were starting to feel better. It’s not like you two hooked up or even kissed. It was just a chance meeting with playful banter. Nothing to get shook up about. “Food’s here. Thanks for listening to me. I’ll talk to you later. Love you!” You said as you got up to answer the door. 

When all else failed, your favorite food could always make you feel better.

Turning the tv on and sitting down amongst your couch pillows and blankets, you were getting ready to dig in when your phone rang. 

Aemond. 

Your insides did a weird flip and hunger disappeared entirely from your mind and belly. Should you answer? Let it go to voicemail? Turn the stupid thing off and completely ignore him? Right before the final ring, you decided. “Hello?”

“Hey,” he said, immediately sounding relieved. “I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t yet ready to call it a night with you.”

“It’s no biggie,” you replied. Lying. “I didn’t want to interrupt anything–,” you paused, searching for something else to say to soften the edge of your voice, “–the dogs were getting tired anyway.” God. It sounded stupid even to your own ears.

Aemond sighed through the phone. You wondered if he slid his hand down his face or through his hair. It sounded like he did. “No. Alys is… it’s complicated. She’s my ex and–”

“ –you don’t have to explain anything to me,” you said, cutting him off. “Really. It’s fine.” Despite it being a phone call, you tried to smile as if it would blunt the dismissal of your tone.

“I mean it,” he said. “I really wasn’t ready to say bye yet. What do you say you skip your regular Wednesday night plans and grab a milkshake or something with me?”

Your insides flipped again but for an entirely different reason this time. You knew it: the sparks definitely weren’t one sided. The firm set of Aemond’s jaw and the rigidness of his shoulders flashed once more in your mind’s eye. Since your break up with your long-term boyfriend you’d been on a few dates, but none of them lead to anything worthwhile. With how you and Aemond clicked, however? This date might lead to something more than a hook-up (or, attempt at a hook-up. Some men truly had no game). “Are you sure…?” You asked after a moment. “You and Alys looked pretty comfortable–,”

“ –I’m sure,” it was his turn to cut you off.

“Alright then. Let’s do it.”

IV.

It'd been two months since your first milkshake date with Aemond – the first of many dates. It was a guilty pleasure of yours and apparently one of his, too!

Your first kiss, first time meeting his elder dog, Vhagar, and first time meeting his family were all memories you cherished. 

The more you learned about Aemond’s relationship with Alys, the more you understood it "complicated". Including Targaryen drama, Targaryen business, and a list of other things you had a hard time following. It didn’t matter anymore, though, Aemond reassured you. Things were done between them and he only wanted you; proving it to you with fingers and mouth until you begged for a break.

A lesson you learned from your last relationship – one Aemond learned from his, too – was to be careful with love. As much as you genuinely enjoyed him and his company, a barrier stood between you that neither dared yet to cross.

Love.

Each day you fell for him a little more; you were scared to admit it. The scar of heartbreak healed slowly. Could you truly trust Aemond with that part of yourself? With the very essence of your heart? It’d been two months and you still weren’t entirely sure.

If he felt the same he’d say something, right?

Autumn blanketed the lands with brisk air, rainy days, and rolling fog. As days grew short and nights long, you and Aemond spent more time at your apartment or his quarter at the Targaryen estate. Your apartment was the clear favorite. Living alone had its perks: never having to worry about nosy family or friends who showed up unannounced.

And thank God you didn’t live with anyone else. 

"Mmh… fuck, baby, I've been thinking about this all day. I can't get enough of you. Let me make my girl feel good," he said against your mouth as one of his hands moved up the inside of your thigh. "Are you wet already? I bet you are," he chuckled, fingertips tracing your slit. "Mmm… I knew it. Your clit is sooo needy, isn't it?" 

Shit. Those hushed words, the glint in his eye, his rasped tone… you happily indulged him in whatever way he wanted. And him, you. Fingers, mouth, cock, he quickly learned what tricks made you melt. 

As much as he loved having you ride him, or bending you over, his absolute favorite was fucking you into the mattress. You sprawled out beneath him, hair messy and fanned out around your head, legs wrapped tight around his waist, fingernails on his body… he could never get enough of your blushed face beneath him, trembling and arching as he pushed you to peak after peak.

Your sheets had never been cleaned so often in your entire life.

It was particularly rainy today and you were both finished with everything on your to-do list. Aemond sat on the floor in front of you as you lounged in your overstuffed chair. You told him you'd read the Lord of the Rings as long as he read it to you. He didn't even pretend to be annoyed by your bargain. He read to you from his own collection, claiming he liked the worn feeling of the pages better than a new book's pages. 

Like any proper reader Aemond started with The Hobbit. You enjoyed it more than you thought you would. More so than the story, however, you enjoyed him reading aloud to you – he had the loveliest voice. You were about half way through The Fellowship of the Ring and the story continued to get better.

But, all afternoon, Aemond's phone never stopped going off. It seemed like every few minutes it would ping with some kind of notification. "Who's blowing you up?" You asked, annoyance creeping into your tone.

Stopping mid sentence, he looked. "Alys," he sighed as he scrolled through the various messages. 

You tried to not look over his shoulder to the texts. You really did. But there was something about Aemond's shift in posture, and the air around him, that made you suspicious. "What's going on?" You asked in your best nonchalant manner.

"She's asking if I have some of her clothes at my place still," he answered and you swore you saw pink spread atop his cheeks.

That caught you off guard. "Why would she have clothes–"

And whatever else you were going to say was abruptly cut off.

There, in a new string of messages, was the single text line, "I miss you, baby boy," followed by at least three photographs of Alys in lingerie and various stages of undress. 

"What the fuck Aemond!?" You asked, anger and hurt instantly warming your blood. "What the hell were those? Are you fucking joking?"

"I have no idea why she sent–"

" –is that why she left clothes at your place? Couldn't let her go for real? Jesus Christ I can't believe you." Anger flushed your face and bittered your words.

"Listen, please. Hear me out, bab–"

" –oh fuck off, Aemond, you don't get to 'babe' me around anymore. In fact, just leave."

He looked as hurt as you. And shocked. A hundred emotions played across his chiseled features. "No, really. Let me explain," he pleaded with eye and tone.

You weren't having it. You were cheated on before and he knew it. It made your own hurt cleave even deeper. You really fucking liked him. Maybe even loved him. And this whole time he had you and Alys? "I'm seriously about to get really fucking angry. Leave. Now."

He stood and left. Silent fury screamed around him like a whirlwind. He didn't even give you one final look over his shoulder.

He shut your door with a deliberate click.

You curled up in your blanket alone as fat ugly tears streamed down your face. You couldn't be bothered to grab a tissue for your snotty nose. 

Aemond's leather jacket was still draped over the back of your couch and his book still lay on the floor. Your crying somehow turned uglier at the realization.

Eventually you dozed off. With Aemond, you always had your phone on silent so you didn't hear all his missed calls and texts.

V.

The following month went by in a blur; you drowned yourself in work. You also stopped volunteering because you didn't want to give Aemond the opportunity to meet you there. By some feat of strength you ignored all his attempts at talking – and by proxy, apologizing.

The only thing you said to him was a single text:

I need time. Please understand

Part of you wondered how it affected him. His calls and texts became sparse until they eventually stopped.

Helaena asked where you'd been and you felt horrible lying to her. So, you didn't. After telling her the story she sighed and asked if you'd want to grab tea. You agreed. Meeting her at a local cafe allowed you to air out your feelings; laughs and tears alike. She was kind, and sweet, and supportive without being passive. She loved her brother but knew he had many of his own issues. You'd been friends for over a year and this was the first true heart to heart you shared.

Upon returning home you picked up the Fellowship and tried to read from where Aemond left off. But, it wasn’t the same without him and it only made you cry. Again.

VI.

The following morning, despite your car's newer model, it barely wanted to start for your drive to work. By a stroke of luck you made it there fine. And, made it back home that evening, too. But that was the end of your luck. It needed to be picked up and taken to a shop until a mechanic could see it.

Carless, you had to rely on Uber or public transportation. Yuck.

A few days of stress passed and now you were done for the week. Thank God for weekends. Unfortunately your groceries were extremely low and you would need to make a trip in the morning. You sighed and used it as an excuse to order pizza.

After waking up and a breakfast of (the last, and past its sell-by date) packet oatmeal you got around to make the walk to the nearest grocery store. Knowing you'd be walking home, too, the list was small. Carrying bags up two flights of stairs was hard enough, much less carrying them home a mile!

On the way back it started sprinkling. Great. Just great. You started walking faster with hopes of making quicker time than your leisurely stroll to the store. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, you heard your name called. Was that…? Stopping in your tracks you looked across your shoulder to the side of the road and saw none other than Aemond. You knew his car and voice anywhere. You didn't have to see yourself to know a dozen emotions played across your face.

"Hey," he said gently, his own features a mirror of yours.

"Hi," you said.

"Why are you walking in the rain with groceries?"

Slumping your unintentionally scrunched up shoulders, you sighed. "Stupid car died on me and it's been with the mechanic for almost a week."

He smiled softly. So soft. The outside of his seeing eye crinkled and emotion rushed to your chest. Your gut. "You're way too good to be walking alone. Let me drive you home at least?" 

You didn't resist. How could you? "Alright. Sure. Just dropping me off though, okay?" Guilt panged your chest. Did he feel it too? Could he read it on your face he knew so well?

"Alright," he answered, expression falling just slight. You might as well have stomped on his foot with how it affected you.

I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. Can we try it again? Can I hold your hand? God I love your hair in a ponytail. You smell good. Did you see the trailer for that new horror movie? I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. It all turned around your head like a fucking rotisserie chicken. It shouldn't be so hard to say any of those things to him. But it was.

You didn't say anything on the short ride home. Neither did he. His right hand flexed a few times and you wondered if he was having a hard time, too.

"Can you get it all upstairs?" He asked as he pulled into an empty spot and parked, looking across to you with horribly concealed emotion.

"Yes, but…," you trailed off momentarily, trying to read his face. "I still have your book and jacket. Wanna come up and grab them?" You asked hopefully.

He killed the engine faster than you could blink. "Yes! So that's where they've been. You could have mentioned it sooner," he said slightly accusingly, grinning at you with a spark of playfulness.

Leading the way upstairs to your apartment, you unlocked the door and disappeared inside. After placing your items down and grabbing Aemond's, you turned to look at him standing in the doorway. He leaned against it. Waiting. Quiet. He glanced around with a wistfulness that made your throat tight. You watched him watching you and your home until the air became awkward – was it half a second, a few seconds, longer? You weren't sure. 

Slowly you walked over to him. Your gaze flickered up at him as you handed his things back. "Were you ever going to tell me the truth?" You asked. "Did you think I really wouldn't find out? Why did you stick around if I wasn't good enough?"

He blinked. Taken back. "You never even gave me the chance to explain." His jaw feathered before it tightened. His eye hardened.

You grabbed the door, fixing to close it on him. Now that you started talking – unloading pent up questions which kept you tossing and turning at night – you couldn't decide if you wanted to slam it on his face or yell. "I told you how I was cheated on! And you did it anyway! I trusted you, Aemond." Your voice thinned, sounding shrill even to your own ears.

One of his hands braced on the door so you couldn't close it on him. "So this is your revenge then, huh? Punishing both of us? Why don't you trust me?" Hurt and fury simmered in the lovely hue of his eye. A storm. No, a hurricane. "Alys and I have been done for months. Months. Even before you and I met. I'm sorry for what she did but I can’t control what she does. She was playing her wicked games trying to sabotage us– you and me. Don't shut me out. Please." 

He pleaded, every pore and line of his face begging for forgiveness. As each word came off his tongue they clicked into place in your head. He meant it. He was telling the truth. Before you could stop yourself your fists balled into the front of his shirt, pulling him down so your mouth crashed up to his. "You mean it?" You asked through the kiss.

Instantly he leaned down into you, and instantly he held onto your waist pulling you deeper against him. His other hand cradled the side of your face daring to curve along the shape of your skull. "I mean it. Yes I fucking mean it," he answered against the kiss; breath stealing yours away until it left you in a little moan.

You pulled him inside and shut the door, locking it. You moaned as he nipped and bit at your neck. Your heart thumped wildly. He sucked at the sensitive skin, again and again, pulling away just before leaving a mark. "God, Aem,” you whimpered. Goosebumps covered your body. The only thing on your mind was him.

"Fuck, I missed you. I missed you so much." His hands were somehow all over you all at once. His mouth trailed, and dragged, and kissed over any exposed portion of your skin. He happily pulled off layers of your clothing to expose more and more of your soft, warm, saccharine flesh; intoxicating him. After weeks of your separation the last thing he wanted to do was to push too far too fast.  “Can I take this off?” He asked before taking your shirt off.

“Yes,” you replied breathily. “Fuck it. Take all of it off. I missed you too. So much,” you said as you helped pull his clothes off, too. He pushed you against a wall. You kissed. Heavier, and hotter, and hungrier. You pushed him against a wall. 

He gasped as he smirked. “I love when you act all tough when we both know I can have you squirming under me in minutes,” he growled, pupil swelling. The dimples at the very corners of his mouth betrayed his amusement, however, as he once again pushed you against the wall. You were both only in your underwear, now, and his lean body on yours had you aching. “My tough girl… how quickly do you think it’ll last when my fingers are in you?”

“Why don’t we find out?” You asked defiantly, knowing damn well it wouldn’t last long at all. By now you were both down the hallway and your bedroom was only a couple feet away. You needed him. Now. And judging by how fucking hard he was he needed you too.

The next moment went by in a blur and before you could catch yourself you were sprawled out on your back atop your bed. Aemond made quick work of moving you both inside, and made quicker work of pulling your panties down. He groaned as your thighs immediately spilled open for him. He dragged two fingers up your slit and circled your clit with your arousal. “Shit–,” he hissed. “Never make me wait so long to have this pussy again. Do you understand me? Never,” he said as he worked your already swollen clit. He played with it just how he knew you liked it and your cunt’s tiny wet sounds sent his cock throbbing. “Answer me.”

Tension built in the low muscles of your belly. Your legs began to tighten already – one of the tell-tale signs of your approaching climax. How the hell could he push you there so quickly? “N-never! Ahh-h never again!” You replied, voice light, and sweet, and tantalizing as any sin Aemond ever knew. “Please, Aemond, I want to cum…!”

He shoved those same two fingers into you. “Good girl,” he said as he curled those fingers. “This pussy is mine. All fucking mine. Give it to me,” he said huskily as he worked them in and out of you. It was sloppy and wet. Borderline obscene. Each time he slammed his hand against you he was mindful to press the heel of his palm against your clit and your mound, knowing how the extra pressure sent your pretty toes curling.

You cried out his name as your eyes clenched shut. The tension in your belly snapped and a wave of glorious bliss washed over you. Sweat sheened between your breasts and along your lip. You arched, quivered, shuddering in the aftermath of his intensity. 

Aemond’s mouth crashed to yours and you threaded your fingers through the roots of his hair. It was still in a ponytail and you had no mind to take it out, you just had to pull him deeper into the kiss. He tasted the salt of your sweat and groaned. “Relax your pussy, baby, you’re clenching me really hard. It feels amazing but I don’t wanna hurt you pulling out,” he said tenderly, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.

“Sorry,” you giggled. “Just feels too good.” You tried to steady your breath and relax as he laid beside you, continuing to kiss your neck and shoulders. When your spongy walls finally eased around him you were sad to feel him withdraw. Stress melted away from your subconscious and you wanted to thank him for the pleasure. You wondered if your eyes said it while he looked at you.

Leaning up, he discarded the final piece of his clothing and sighed in relief as his cock sprang free. He got between your thighs and looked down at you hungerily. “Look at you all doe eyed already. See? I knew you couldn’t stay tough for long,” he said, smug, as he lined up with your drenched cunt. He held one of your legs up against him, and you pressed the other against his side. 

When you left for the store this morning you had no idea your afternoon would go in this direction.

He pushed into you. Inch by inch he sunk into you and soon he was as deep as he could be. A moan escaped both of you, and a throatier one left him when his free hand tugged at your bra. It was one that clipped in the front. He popped it open and rocked into you as soon as your tits spilled free. "You're so sexy like this."

With your body already sensitive from your first orgasm, and now with Aemond building a rhythm between your thighs, you weren't going to last long. "You feel so good," you purred, eyelids heavy. "Fuck I missed you."

Another sound left his chest and when you wrapped your legs around his slim waist you swore you felt goosebumps pebble all along his skin. Or, maybe those were your goosebumps on your legs. Whatever the case, Aemond leaned forward and kissed you again. "I missed you too," he rumbled. "Gonna let me fill this pretty pussy with my cum again?"

You two made good use of your birth control and you weren't about to deny him – or yourself – the pleasure of being thoroughly fucked and stuffed. "Y-yeah," you stammered, smiling.

Aemond mumbled something incoherent into your neck, and if your brain wasn't foggy from his perfect fucking cock you might have caught what he said. 

He leaned up and supported himself on his forearms, pressing his forehead to yours. "You're my girl. You're my fucking girl. You're my fucking girl," he repeated again and again until the pace of his thrusts grew sloppy. Somehow the sloppiness of it, the neediness and urgency of his voice, sent emotion swelling in all of you.

Heat collected and grew out from your spine, webbing throughout your entire body. You clung to him desperately. You rolled your hips up into him and shamelessly grinded your clit against his pelvis as he drove in and out of you. It was all too much. You crumbled beneath him and let orgasm take control of you. The depths of your body squeezed and convulsed around him, holding him tight and soaking the fullness of his length with your slick. He never stopped or paused his thrusts. 

His own peak followed. Once he was as deep as he could be he released everything he had into you. He stayed there, both of you panting through little moans, until he no longer twitched between your stretched walls. Slowly, he pulled out, and slowly, his seed dribbled out of you. Grinning, he rolled onto his back and scooped you against him.

"Let's stay here like this all day," you mumbled happily, fingertips trailing up and down his abdomen and chest.

"You'll get no argument from me," he said.

Quiet minutes passed and the sound of his heart nearly put you into a trance. "I'm sorry for how I acted," you finally admitted.

All the while he'd been petting and trailing his fingers through your hair. He didn't stop as he answered, "and I'm sorry for not trying harder." He kissed your forehead and held you tighter.

"Let's try it again. For real this time. With the titles and commitment and everything."

"Are you asking or telling me to be your boyfriend?"

You smirked. "I'm suggesting."

Returning your smirk, he pulled you atop him so you could straddle him. "You're all mine," he said with a dark eye. "My perfect girl." 

Leaning down, you kissed and nipped his bottom lip. "Are you already hard again, Aemond Targaryen?"

A chuckle rumbled somewhere in his chest as his touch dented into your hips to hold you at just the right angle. With a roll of his hips he pushed himself up inside you again. "Whose cock is this?"

You gasped, eyes darkening with another round of lust. "Mine."

"That's right. Yours. Not anyone else's. It's fucking yours."

You rode him until your tits were covered in fresh hickies and you were filled with another load of him.

Yours. His. The second chance you both needed.

-

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider a follow, and/or reblog, and/or letting me know as it all makes me vvvery happy! ♥

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[uniquesoulwinner]

My Queen

Leah Williamson x reader 

Idea that came to me after seeing Leah get her OBE today of a little surprise celebration with her girl who she didn’t think was even in the country! 

Hope you enjoy its not very good and the format isn’t working right so it might read funny but well it’s something 

Let me know what you think 

***********************

Y/n pov

Getting off the plane in London brings nothing but butterflies to your stomach at the thought of the day ahead. You see given that I’ve been in New York for work for the past 9 long weeks I was not meant to be here today well at least that’s what Leah thinks, I however always knew I would be here! 

As soon as we got the date for Leah to get her long awaited OBE medal I was on the phone to Amanda to plan exactly what was going to happen today, this has lead to a lot of sneaky phone calls between me and my girlfriends mother, who I’m nearly sure is more excited about me being there to surprise Leah than I am.

Finding out that I was going to have to be in New York for 16 weeks for work was never part of the plan, being away from Leah for that long was a thought that made my whole body hurt before I even went, which is why I I have worked my ass off over the last 9 weeks so complete everything I needed to do to get home to my girlfriend of 4 years early which brings me back to walking though Heathrow Airport at 7:45am on a Wednesday morning counting down the minutes until I have her in my arms again. 

Just as I was getting into the taxi to take me to the hotel I had booked for myself and Leah for that night my phone rang and my smile got even bigger seeing it was Amanda!

Y/n: Hey perfect timing I’m just in the taxi

Amanda: ahh perfect I’m so excited, she’s getting ready already! I swear she takes forever.

Y/n: Worth every minute though; you find yourself say thing that out loud without ever realising until you hear Amanda aww on the other end of the phone which made you blush no end! Anyway how are we looking for timeline I’m just heading to the hotel now to get showered and ready! 

Amanda: so we should be wrapped up in Windsor by around 13:30pm at the latest and then she thinks we are just going for dinner and meeting holly and all that couldn’t come to the ceremony there. You can hear the excited little giggle coming from Amanda like she is on a secret spy mission which makes you laugh  

Y/n: ok good and she definitely doesn’t suspect a thing right you ask already knowing that she doesn’t considering you spent 2 hours in the phone to her last night with her upset and missing you as well as telling you how much she wished you where going to be there today which yes broke your heart in two , the only thing that you hoped was seeing her face today would make up for everything!

Amanda: nope not a thing, she is completely oblivious you hear that cheeky giggle again she is going to be so happy y/n, she has missed you so much you you 

Y/n: yeh I know I’ve missed her too more than words but not long now, god I’m nervous you laugh at the Ridiculousness of getting nervous over seeing the woman that has been the centre of your world for 4 years now 

Amanda: oh sweetie you no need to be nervous, the second that girl sees you everything will be worth it, you know … Amanda suddenly stops talking only thing you can hear is some rustling and foot steps which your hoping isn’t Leah catching you both out 

Ok I gotta go she is wandering around now looking for her socks so I better help I’ll see you later ok text me when your there , ok bye bye bye and the phones goes dead leaving you laughing at the thought of your girl running around looking for socks which you know she will be treating like a Military mission in that room ! 

************************

Later on that day after checking in to the hotel and getting yourself ready , wearing a tight green dress that you knew drive Leah crazy with your hair down and curled and black heals, you where standing that the bar of the restaurant that had been booked out for today with holly catching up on every bit of gossip you had missed being away which was lot it seemed! 

Although after the 7th time checking the door you did catch holly giving you a very knowing smirk which made you laugh purely because you didn’t care how obvious you where being, ever since Amanda text to say they where 20 minutes away you could help but look out for them ! You wanted your girl and weren’t even sorry about it ! 

The restaurant was full of Leah’s close family and friends most of which were now laughing at the twitter comments over Leah being the queen of England now ! Lol 

You only snapped out of staring at the door when you heard Jen Leah’s teammate call you 

Jen: y/n how does it feel to have bagged England’s new queen  all you heard was laughter which then turned to cooing and awe’s when you replied saying y/n: she has always been my queen 

And right as you said that you seen her your queen walk past the window towards the door looking out of this world and every bit worthily of the title queen in your opinion but it was to time and time for you to hide in the crowd who had all turned to face the door waiting for her to come in, to which when she did come in she was meant by just noise of chatting and clapping but all you could hear was her laugh that beautiful laugh while she made her way around people still not spotting you ! 

Amanda however snuck around to hug you whispering how she couldn’t wait to see Leah’s face ! 

After around 5 minutes of her still not spotting you , you had enough of waiting so grabbed a glass of champagne and made your way up behind her as she spoke to Alex Scott and Kim little both of who started smiling the second they seen you approach! 

Y/n: would the new queen like a drink you said standing behind her and while you couldn’t see her face you could see her body freeze as she heard your voice which made your heart burst. Y/n you heard her whisper still not turning around which made you giggle given that all you wanted right now was to kiss her still though you stepped forward so you where right behind her meaning you could whisper in her ear hello baby, any chance I could get a hug now?  You didn’t even have a split second to react when her arms where around your neck with such force that if ever the sensible kimmy hadn’t if grabbed the champagne out if your hands it would have been all down the back of Leah’s very expensive looking suit ! 

Suddenly all the people in the room weren’t there anymore the only thing that you noticed was your girl finally in your arms after way to long and while pulling her impossibly closer to you , you just breathed her in every part of you and missed every part of her and now here you could never imagine being away from her again which made what you were about to do even more clear in your head, so while holding her as close as possible with one arm your eyes met Leah’s grandmas giving her a nod and hold out your hand , you watched as the whole room tried to contain themselves as she placed the black velvet box in your hand giving your hand a small squeeze as she did !

Focusing back on Leah who’s head was still buried in your neck, pulling back slightly so you could see her with a massive smile on your face that was thankfully matched by her, finally gave you the chance to look into those eyes that have had you weak for years. It’s only when you see her eyes flick down to your lips that you pull her in making sure she can’t feel the box behind her back, although all sense leaves your body the second her lips meet yours for the first time in over 2 months. Finally it feels like I’m home you think, kissing her is home , she is home and with that thought you remember what you have hidden behind her back so with one final kiss you pull back to be met with a pout from her. 

Leah: your here, your actually here 

Y/n: I’m here baby I would never miss this looking at the smile on her face makes all the sneaking around worth it 

Leah: please tell me I have you for more than one night baby before you go back the pout comes back to her face again as she speaks Giggling at her you step back completely! Here goes nothing you think as you look into her eyes again how about forever you whisper never breaking eye contact, seeing the confusion on her have made you smile as you looked down at the box in your hands which was now between you and Leah, flicking your eyes back up seeing that hers where now fixed on the box in your hands as well it was go time so slowly you lower down onto one knee and open the box , hearing the gasp come from her  gave you the confirmation that the band you had chosen was the right choice! 

Y/n : le there is nothing I could say right now that would be any different to anything I have told you every day for the past 4 years but what I will say is how proud I am to be yours baby, every day with you is the best day of my life letting out a shaky breath as you see the tears in her eyes before you carry on and I want that for the rest of our lives, so Leah Williamson OBE you give her a cheeky smirk as the room fills with laughter , will you do me the honour of marrying me? Holding your breath for the whole 0.2 of a second it takes before you hear her say yes yes a million times yes , smiling with the tears running down both your faces you pull the ring from the box and finally put it on her finger as she pulls you up into a bruising kiss. 

You hear the cheers in the room, the clapping and banging on tables but all you feel is her , your finance , your Leah , your home! It’s just you two in the bubble of whispered words between the two of you consisting of i love yous, don’t ever leave again and I can’t wait to make you my wife , everything in that moment is just perfect! 

**************************

Hours later after food , champagne, a lot of laughter and more love than you could imagine, you are standing back beside your finance at the side of the room arms wrapped around each other just watching your friends and family around you. Turning to Leah you decide to take the teasing that’s been going on between the two of you for over an hour now to the next level,

Y/n: I booked us into a hotel for the next 2 nights so I hope you have no plans for tomorrow you say while looking her up and down because I have no plans on leaving that hotel room tomorrow. Watching as her eyes darken on front of you you step a little closer to her so you can whisper in her ear and just so you know earlier wasn’t the only time I plan on dropping to my knees for you my queen 

And with that Leah walked away and started saying goodbye to everyone you giggling behind her especially with the knowing looks you got from some people in the room but to hell with it you hadn’t had your girl in 9 weeks so you where going to make the most of every minute if that night and every night for the rest of your life with your queen ! 

[ryomku]

yellow flowers - kamo choso

synopsis: “when a person gives you yellow flowers it means they want to stop wasting time and spend their lives together with you”.

tags: choso x reader, fem! reader, fluff, aged up characters, college au!, no curses au!, use of y/n

a/n: i know nothing of nursing nor am i a nurse student or stuff like that so there might be some mistakes on choso´s career, idk it's like 1am and i'm crying

a/n 2: i’m mostly doing this after the leaks of chapter 259 cause i'm still crying and i need something soft in my life right now, this is based on a real experience, sorry if there's any typos english is not my first language

As someone who has never received flowers their whole life you don't get the appeal of such displays of affection, dads giving flowers to moms, boyfriends giving chocolate to their girlfriends, you just didn't see the need for such things.

In your eyes this was something unnecessary and silly, your parents never showed affection towards each other, in reality the only interactions they had were arguments which always occurred very early in the morning, at the hours where everyone is meant to be asleep and that you couldn't help but overhear.

Since they always talked about you and your problems that don't really exist, they were just looking for an excuse to say what they really think about each other.

As time went by you just didn't pay attention to any of those things, you had a very neutral opinion about flower giving, yet there were people who said, “You're a pretty girl. How come you've never received flowers before?” Genuinely you didn't know what to answer since you don't have low self-esteem and you love yourself the way you are because there's nothing wrong with the way you look or feel, so it was something that could not be answered.

Yet on valentine's day one of your friends gave you and your girl friends some plastic roses as a token of appreciation and it genuinely surprised you because for many years (or your entire life) you've never received gifts on valentine's, it was a nice gesture you though you thought it might be the last time you get a flower.

You were proven wrong.

On September of last year you met Choso Kamo on the bus you took on the way to college he was a nursing student, more specifically a phlebotomy technician, in your life have you ever seen someone so passionate about their career, the way in which he spoke about every detail regarding his classes it was hypnotizing it drew you in, suddenly you became friends and later one he introduced you to his friend group.

Soon enough it was a new year full of new classes, new teachers and the same friend group that had your back.

Time flies fast they say and suddenly it's March 21st and somehow the entire campus is covered in yellow. Wherever you walked there was people selling bouquets of sunflowers and daisies, girls all dolled up in pretty dresses, guys wasting ridiculous amounts of money on flower bouquets or in plushies it was weird something wasn't adding up.

What festivity happens today? The thought flooded your mind, you felt and looked clueless about the things that were happening around, still there's no time to waste cuz classes start soon.

10:00 am

Luckily the philosophy of education class was a free hour since the teacher didn't show up, there were so many things you can do in a free hour like eating, sleeping or just hanging out with friends and forcefully you had to choose the last one, against your own will.

“Heh Y/N could you come real quick to the cafeteria near the med students building?” Was the message that Yuki sent you a couple minutes ago.

In your way to said building more couples hugging and kissing surrounded the entire campus, it was getting too uncomfortable with how intense some of them were kissing in public.

Upon arriving at the cafeteria you spotted your friends quickly noticing two flower bouquets in front of Choso.

“Those flowers must be for his siblings. Didn't know Yuuji liked flowers so much.”

That's what anyone would think because since you met Choso he always spoke highly and dearly of his brothers, they were his entire life and his reason for becoming a nurse aside from his interest in the career.

Seeing how Choso cares about his siblings is another thing added to the mental list of things you like about him. Is there someone out there who doesn't have a crush on him? Cuz you find that hard to believe, just by feeling the way you felt nervous and the butterflies in your belly would be going crazy every time he talks to you.

Liking Choso was inevitable, like a storm or a hurricane, it was just meant to happen.

Liking Choso was something that involuntarily at this point in your head was always his face, his voice and even the small hugs he gave you every morning upon arriving at college.

Liking Choso was unexpected, you always thought that you might never have someone to like in your life since you didn't want to end up like your parents, living in an unhappy marriage full of arguments and sadness.

Liking Choso makes you feel human.

‘’Hi Y/N! What took you so long?’’ said Yuki as she moved her backpack to give you space to sit down next to her.

‘’Stupid philosophy teacher didn’t even send a message in time and had us waiting like idiots outside of his classroom.’’ You said as you sat down beside your blonde friend.

‘’Y/N here you go.’’ Gojo (your other friend) handed you a package of cookies.

‘’Why are you giving me cookies?’’ As you ask you gave him and Geto (who was handing you a bag of candies) a pointed look.

‘’Just cuz we want to and because you’re a good friend and we appreciate you.’’ Weirded out you accepted the gifts.

As you turned to put the gifts in your bag they drifted off to a conversation with Shoko, Nanami and Haibara though your attention was caught by the flowers displayed on the tablet in front of Choso the curiosity was eating you up.

Somehow Choso was a lot quieter than usual, which is fair enough he is really quiet and only gives his opinion or joins the conversation when he feels like it yet today not only was he quiet, he seemed uncomfortable and it was very clear, his facial expressions gave it away.

Suddenly Yuki stands up and walks behind Choso grabbing his wrist and guiding his hand towards one of the flower bouquets, in unison the rest of your friend group starts laughing while Gojo being the menace he is, starts recording everything.

‘’Come on man we all know you are a coward and if we don’t help you’re never gonna give her the flowers.’’ Said Yuki while laughing and giving you a smirk.

‘’Hold o-on Yuki! I don’t wanna do it with a-all of you here!!’’ Choso started to pull his hand away from the flowers all while his face gained a red hue and stuttered.

You gave all of them a questioning look. Choso was gonna give someone flowers? Did he like someone? If so, who was it? Was it a friend of yours? Or was it someone you don’t know of?

Questions filled your head as a sudden feeling of uneasiness gained a hold of your heart, it was kinda stupid that you thought someone like Choso might like you back, you hated the attitude you had with people, sometimes you would come off as rude or at worst having a potty mouth which you only spoke like that with close friend, Choso being one of them, probably your carefree attitude and shity mouth drove him away or he generally just didn’t like you as a person.

Maybe he never noticed you at all.

It only hurts because you thought he might like you due to the shyness he had around you which you liked a lot, even your friends would tease you both, while it made you giddy inside you never really knew if Choso felt the same way.

Now that you think about it the teasing started with Geto and Haibara saying Choso wanted to take you out to the movies, that never happened, the only reaction you both had was pure laughter.

You were so out of it drowning in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Choso grabbing the flowers and standing in front of you, flowers in hand and a blush on his tattooed face while he handed you the flowers.

‘’These are for you Y/N I hope you like them.’’ He gave you the flowers while looking away.

That made you snap out of it.

Choso, he gave you yellow flowers.

HE GAVE YOU FLOWERS!!

Choso’s face was a poem, truely. You looked so shocked, that he started to question if buying you flowers was a good idea.

Did you not like them?

Were the flowers too simple?

The thought of you rejecting him crossed his head. What was he going to do if you rejected him? It was going to be so embarrassing, he was gonna be rejected in front of the whole cafeteria, that only increased his anxiety.

Suddenly his ears were blessed with your soft laughter, his heart fluttered.

Your beautiful smile, the soft laughter and the cute blush in your cheeks made the anxiety go away, then he saw the most in love look in your eyes. Oh, how he loved your eyes, he could get lost in them for hours.

He felt a pair of arms around his neck in a warm embrace, all he could hear was a soft whisper.

‘’Thank you, Choso.’’

His arms circled around your waist holding you in a gentle hug, his warm hands rubbing circles, he didn’t even notice that he no longer had the flowers in his hands.

‘’Y/N I like you.’’ His smooth and deep voice whispered in your ear, the warmth in your cheeks increased.

‘’I like you too Choso.’’

They say that when a person gives you yellow flowers it means they want to stop wasting time and spend their lives together with you, and Choso knew since the moment he saw you that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

[nothing-tolose]

All Because I Liked A Girl.

Part 3

A/N: lol i found this a bit nonsense whsgajdhe *wheezing* AND AND AND IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT GOOD AS PART 2. anyway i love u guys sm xoxo

if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3

🇵🇸 daily click

part 1. part 2.

Those messages still showed up several times with some different accounts.

You decided to turn on the do not disturb mode so those hateful messages won't bother you for a while before you switched app to reply Ellie's message.

You

yeah

i guess..

You took a deep breath, fingers were typing over the keyboard with hesitation.

You

no

i'm not, actually

can you come over, els?

i need u here

please

delivered

You let out a slight sigh, and you put down your phone to the kitchen table. You buried your face in between your arms, eyes were red and tears stain on your cheeks.

You were actually don't want to give a fuck about Anne's post, but the way people insulting you and the way she reacted to them, you couldn't even understand. How on earth you don't give a fuck with that when some people were saying they'll be waiting your funeral? They might really do something if they have a guts and you were unaware.

And someone was just mentioned your initial there, Anne reacted with 'shh'. What kind of reaction was that?

You scared, terrified even. It feels like you're going to isolating yourself in your home until they forget about the post. Sadly you'll never do that, and you won't and you can't do that because you're not even graduate yet!

You left your phone there, and tried walking to living room even though your feet still feeling a bit limp, you were resting your body on the couch with blank stare to ceiling. Your mind started to thinking about those comments, from the first you saw it to the last you saw it on blog. It scares you, so much. Your tears coming down from your eyes for the second time, your chest were going up and down. You were sobbing so hard. Terrified, confused, all your feelings mixed in one.

Morning felt so long. Now it's 1PM, and you still on the same position with cushion that you hugged for the past few hours. You can hear nothing but your sobs and the sound of cars passing by on the street. Still not feeling any better.

The next second, you heard a knock from your door, followed by sound of door opened. You could tell it was Lauren who just opened the door, sound of hurried footsteps filled the room, "There you are!"

Lauren runs over you, crouches on the floor so that she's at eye-level with you. Her eyebrows furrowed, she obviously worried about you. She tapped your shoulder two times, "Would you sit?" She asked.

You just nod and get up slowly, leaning on the backrest while Lauren put down the cushion on your lap.

"Where's your phone?"

You turn your head and looking at the kitchen table where you left your phone morning earlier, "There," You said, almost not making a sound.

"Okay."

She walk towards the kitchen, her hand picked up your phone without a glance and put it in her coat pocket. You didn't paying attention to Lauren and staring to the front of your sight as you still got your panic attack, but you really really tried to make yourself calm down. Oh, but it didn't help you at all.

Lauren went back with a glass of water on her hand, she sits next to you, "Drink it, and try to breath slowly," You just do what she said.

She put it down the glass on the coffee table after you drank. You feel her thumbs wipes your tears slowly along with her little chuckle. You swore you have no idea if Lauren weren't here, you might be drowning in your tears or maybe crying blood when your tears already gone. Or the worst part, you might be dead alone here. She was like your own sister, who always stay on your side when you're down and when you're happy.

Lauren smiled at you before she hugged you so tightly, her hands running through your hair, "You don't deserve this."

"It'll pass. They'll forget about everything what happened today in no time, okay? You didn't stole Ellie," She keeps saying some words to make you feel better, and apparently it does. You fell asleep with your head on Lauren's lap.

Lauren took your phone out, and she stared at the lockscreen. There's still a bunch of messages request from people who still trying to get you down. Her eyebrows furrowed, anger almost taking over herself.

'All these fucking unnecessary messages, and Ellie doesn't texting her at all while the problem was involved with her? What kind of girlfriend is she?'

Lauren decided to changed the setting to disable the notifications from any social media except messages, at least you wouldn't see those fuckers from your lockscreen notification center.

She turned off your phone and took a glance at your face, she sighed.

'Does she really care about you right now? When everyone were talking shit about you because they thought you stole Ellie from Anne?'

Woke up on the same couch, the first thing you noticed was Lauren wasn't here. You were all alone, lights turned on, it's already dark out there.

"Shit, how long I've been asleep?" You get up, looked up to the clock and it's already 8PM. You grabbed your phone from the coffee tables in front of you, seeing if there's any messages you can reply.

messages from lauren

idk how long you've been asleep but i rlly have to go so sorry for leaving u aloneee;((

i bought some foods u can heat it up, AND dont skip your dinner bcs i assumed you haven't eaten today

dont be so curious to open ur social media, kay? i dont want u get your panic attack again

i love uuuuuu 💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️

You laughed for a second, then you scrolled the notification center searching if there's more messages. Your smile disappeared when you didn't see any messages from Ellie.

I mean, she always tried to reply your message asap after you sent the texts even when she's busy, she would tell you that she can't reply all your messages right now and will reply it soon as possible. The texts you sent to her this morning were still delivered. There's even no calls from her, does she even read your messages through the notifications? You needed her so much, and where is she now?

You don't want to overthink it. Maybe she's been too busy, but today is fucking Sunday, how the hell a student got really really busy on Sunday?

You bit your nails, suddenly thinking about your biggest fear.

What if she meet Anne in somewhere?

Your mind straight up thinking about her and Anne. All those what-ifs filling up your head, even you whispered to yourself to not assuming everything in negative way. But you couldn't help it. You really hate it when you can't help to stop assuming things.

You huffed, resting yourself on the backrest. You staring at the wall, imagining if Ellie were here right by your side like Lauren did and at the same time you still thinking if she were with Anne today.

You almost fell asleep again when you heard Ellie's voice calling your name along with knocking on the door. You stood up quickly and ran into the door.

Once you opened it, she grabbed both of your forearms. Her face looked so worried, worried than Lauren. She panted, sweating all over her face, and messy hair strands on the side of her face.

Your hands on her shoulders, "Where have you been?"

She didn't answer your question, all she said was, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." And asking you if you were okay, then she hugged you tightly like you were about to leave her.

You ended up on your bed, laying down with your head resting on her arm. After she said sorry five times, you took her to the bedroom. You really wanted to ask her, where the hell was she this entire day? Why did she texted you and just disappeared, and then showed up looking so worried like she was almost dead?

But here you are, with her. None of you broke the silence. She caressed your cheeks so gently, kissing your forehead several times, and humming.

You looked up to her, staring at her green emerald eyes. Your mouth was opened, almost asking her the same question that you've asked before.

"Sorry, I had an emergency." Right before you could ask her, she spoke.

"What emergency?"

Ellie went silent, she bite her lower lip and glancing aside, avoiding eye contact with you.

"Ellie, what emergency?"

She sighed heavily, her eyes now looking at you, "Sorry, you got dragged into this mess because of me. I shouldn't be disappeared for an entire day after texting you," She closed her eyes and looked away, "I'm really sorry."

You sitting up there and shook your head in desperation, "You did answer my question earlier, but you didn't answer the last question, Ellie. What emergency?"

There's no reply from her. You scoffed, "Ellie, what emergency that made you didn't reply to my texts?"

Ellie turned her head, "You texted me?"

"What?"

Oh.. Wait, what?

taglist: @cherryimaa @kimaellie @backedbeansh @bunnyrose01 @bready101

[mskenway97]

I've been wanting to write this for a long time and with the skills this character has, I've been itching to write this.

ROTB Mirage x Fem!human!reader

Cap 2

Curious cat

Words: 1.506

Summary: You started noticing something strange in your neighborhood, while you were watching something weird. You decided to investigate it to find some surprise.

Warning: g/t content, g/t fearplay

You've been saving money for a long time, working hard… Living in New York was expensive, but it was your dream since you were a little girl, the city of opportunity. For now you had started in a waitressing job, the hours were horrible, the bosses didn't treat you the way you wanted but it was the best you could do until one of the interviews gave you the job you wanted. You came home late, the nights were pretty quiet and you had to be alert for anything. You were always taught to be cautious, to say that living alone had a risk but you thought it was better to take a chance, you never knew what you might find along the way. You had heard all the time of urban legends: monsters, shadows that took you away. "Nonsense" you thought every time they mentioned it, you may be from the village but it doesn't mean that because you are from the village you believe in those unfounded legends. Although today while you were working, you had heard a couple of customers talking about a ghost car, you laughed when you heard it and tried to dissimulate. "People should focus on real problems not urban legends" you thought as you packed up to go home. The way though you kept thinking about what the customers talked about. A ghost car… You couldn't get that legend out of your mind even as you went to sleep, I'm sure you'd get over that thought tomorrow. But it didn't happen that way, every time you heard more and more about that car, something that made you more and more curious, you had a big defect, when in your mind there was an idea that didn't disappear until you found out what was going on.

Until one day you decided to investigate all the rumors that were going around: you had gathered that it appeared only at night (as in all legends or horror stories), it was always found in abandoned parking lots, it was a gray car with blue racing stripes… "I lack more information there is something that does not fit me in all this …. And the people who have found it? Or something else?" you thought while looking at the notebook of notes about what could be that mysterious vehicle. The following days were spent asking the supposed "people" who had seen that car… All the words they said were not credible: that it disappeared in front of their noses, suddenly they saw three cars instead of one… others said they saw a giant figure… This last one already seemed ridiculous to you from everything you had heard, what was going to be next, an alien? Absurd. Although if I found a good story I could give you some more credibility and help anything or maybe you were fixated on an idea that was impossible… Here's to making your life a little more dynamic. The bad thing is that you would never know where that car was, it did not keep a fixed position, so in order to find it you decided to ask someone who would surely know about the car. Reek was a man who knew more about robberies than anything else, but if there was any information about that car he would surely know something about it. So you met up with him in a neighborhood in Brooklyn while he came in smiling:

The man was always walking around with a licorice in his mouth, he was more cooperative after I told him you would give him some dough.

-Girl, are you sure about what you're going to do? Some of my colleagues were looking for that "ghost car" - said Reek while showing a picture of the car.

You took a better look at the picture and it matched the descriptions that everyone you had asked matched. You were more interested in the make of the car? You had wanted a car like this since you were a child, in fact you were saving up to buy one for yourself.

-Just give me a location, Reek, and I'll give you the dough. I'm sure it's nothing. Plus you know how to avoid the cameras, right? - you said as you were pulling out some bills Reek rubbed his hands together.Well if you give me a little extra I'll even deactivate them…

-Just this or I'll tell everyone you're stealing cable TV… Reek was a little offended to hear it and rectified what he said to you. He gave you everything you needed. This time it was in a parking lot not far from the residential area, but the neighborhood was not very well known… That's why it was guarded. The idea was that Reek would create a blackout while you went inside. It seemed like a perfect idea and the sooner you figured out what that car was, the calmer it would put your mind at ease. Finally the night you were waiting for came, Reek had left you a place where you could turn off the power, it didn't seem too difficult, you just had to lower some switches but when you arrived you saw that they were already down.

But instead of running away you decided to enter, seeing that the doors were open, the parking lot was in a closed place that did not even have a guard, only people took advantage of it to leave their vehicles "for free". You approached carefully, you hid among the cars to see a group of thieves approaching the car. Everything seemed normal until you saw that it had disappeared in front of them, not only that the lights had gone out around it, to show the same car several times and repeated all this all the time until the thieves ran away. If you didn't see it you wouldn't believe it, it was really happening as all those people were saying. You stayed in your position while you stood up and heard a voice in your ear:

-You thought I didn't see you? You jumped back to see that the car you were leaning against was the grey car you were all looking for, you quickly ran to another part of the parking lot that seemed to be more isolated while breathing heavily.-You're making it too easy for me, girl…. You jumped again to see the same car next to you, your face went blank as you saw that gray car. You were trying to react, you ran away from it.

-Come on, I'm not that scary… Come here little girl - said the giant gray being. You were thinking it was a dumbbell as you were hiding under a car. Suddenly you heard silence all around you, except for the watch you were wearing.

Tick,Tick No matter how hard you ran… You felt its presence all the time, playing with your mind… You had only one word in your mind: run away…

But running away to where your mind was racing, your heart felt like it was going to burst then you heard some big footsteps around you.

-Come out wherever you are, girl? No matter where you hide… I'm going to find you - said that giant robot while you saw him walking away from you to another floor of the parking lot. You didn't think about it and picked up your cell phone to see that the car where you were hiding was lifted as if nothing by that gray robot, you tried to run again to stumble and find three of them. You were completely surrounded, while one of them picked you up and made the rest of them disappear, you tried to move but he was holding you in his servo as if nothing. You were completely terrified trembling… completely at their mercy. The giant gray robot pinched you on the cheek.

I have to say, of all the humans I've seen… I found you the most curious. At least you didn't faint or run away. You've got some guts. You were trying to get away from his touch but he had too much strength to dodge it, you're literally like a doll in his hands.

-Let me go! Possessed car! - you said as the robot laughed at the sound.

-Possessed car? Come on, my name is Mirage… I don't want to let you go yet," he said as he transformed into a car while leaving you on the seat.

-Let go of me! Let go of me! - you said as you kicked everything you could.

I'm sorry, curious kitty… I can't see if Optimus will let me stay with you. I'll take good care of you," said the car as it pulled away to a location.

You tried to kick more but it was impossible, your curiosity had led you to a moment you never expected. To the mercy of a giant being that saw you as its kitten. Curiosity caught the cat.

[desideriumwriter]

Anyone But You | Chapter 2 | F.W. x Fem!Reader

Chapter Summary - An introduction to your bestfriend, you're forced to go to a dinner party at the Weasleys over the holiday break, the twins give you a small gift you're absolutely not going to open.

Pairing - Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Category - enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, slowburn

Content Warnings -cursing

Word Count - 3.8k

Series Masterlist | F.W Masterlist | Previous | Next | Navigation | 

Even though you were seen as rude and snippy in the twins' eyes, you had friends, people you actually enjoyed being around, people who didn’t attempt to get on your nerves every five seconds. Cedric Diggory was one of them. He was your bestfriend.

Despite being put in different houses, you and Cedric became great friends, you’ve gotten along better than anyone else. You met him on the train to Hogwarts your first year, and you two connected like puzzle pieces. He’s definitely someone who isn’t unbearable to be around.

Of course, there was the occasional rumor or gossiping that would spread around annually about you and Cedric secretly being together, or that you two had something going on at least. Those were just rumors though. Cedric feels like a brother to you, he had eyes for other girls and you had no interest in a relationship. You had no interest in each other. You loved him, but only in a sibling way. He was treated like a brother. 

You had other friends rather than Cedric, but you were closest to Ced. He was the only friend you would actually keep in contact with and write letters to outside of school.

✦✦✦

You carried your owl's cage and dragged your large leather suitcase down the stairs as Cedric boasted about his most recent win.

“And who did Gryfinndor get their arses whooped by last week?” He brought his hand up behind his ear, waiting for you to admit your house's loss, you simply shook your head in refusal.

“Hufflepuff!” He sang, “Who caught the snitch? Number seven, Cedric Diggory!” He cheered to himself, you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Whatever, Gryffindor only lost because Fred couldn’t keep his eyes off Angelina.” 

“Ah yes, Fred is to blame. Always to blame. Another chance for you to hate him!” Cedric teased, he knew all about your hatred for the twins. Of course he has, he’s your bestfriend for Godric's sake. You’ve complained multiple times about them to him, gone on hour-long rants over whatever prank they pulled.

“Yep!  Anyways, what do you have planned over the break?” You stopped at the landing of the staircases, setting down your owl and suitcase, leaning back on the stone railing, letting crowds of students pass you.

“Absolutely nothing. My dad might make me help him at work.”

“What? Wouldn’t that be cool? You’ll get to see cool creatures, right?” He scoffed at your upbeat reaction.

“I’ll get to see boring paperwork. I’ll get to organize boring folders. I’ll get to do the boring work.” He said flatly as he shrugged. “I got to see a hippogriff once though.”

“Really? How’d it go?” You 

“Nearly bit off my arm.” 

“Oh.” The excitement in your voice lowered. “Well, I won’t be doing anything either besides sleeping.” You teased as you grabbed your things and began to walk down the staircases again.

✦✦✦

Winter break had been going nicely. Your friends had sent letters and early Christmas gifts, small and light enough for your owl to carry, you did the same for them. You were able to sleep in, you didn’t have to worry about your things being messed with, you didn’t have to be woken up by loud and annoying voices early in the morning, and you didn’t have to deal with those bloody twins.

You woke up early today, you chose to not sleep in and went into the kitchen for breakfast. While searching the cupboards for your favorite cereal your mother walked in, an empty mug and plate in her hands. 

“Good morning, sweetheart!” She said as she placed the dishes in the sink, watching a scrubber begin to float and clean the dishes by itself.

“Morning, mum. Have any letters come today?” You asked as you took the cereal and poured it into your bowl, followed by some milk.

Before your mum could open her mouth, a strong screech came from outside, followed by a loud hit into the open cupboard door next to you, both of you jumped at the sudden entrance.

You knew that old owl from anywhere. It was Errol, one of the Weasley family’s owls. He laid on the kitchen floor for a second, then stood up straight, shaking himself off and fluttering onto a chair near your mother, handing her a nicely sealed envelope. Your mum sent the owl off without giving him anything to deliver back.

“That poor bird is on its last leg.” She muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she opened the envelope. Her unamused face changed into delight as her eyes moved through the letter.

“Oh, would you look at this! The Weasleys invited us over for a dinner party!” She grinned at you, showing you the paper.

“What?” You dropped your spoon into your bowl when you heard the news, droplets of milk hitting your shirt.

“The Weasleys invited us, Molly and Arthur are hosting a dinner party for their anniversary. How sweet is that?” You grabbed the letter from her a bit too aggressively, staring at the invitation intently.

“Very kind! Do I have to go?” You got straight to the point once you asked hesitantly, looking up, you already knew what your mother's answer would be.

“What?- Yes you have to go! Don’t be ridiculous.” Your mother scoffed, slightly shocked at your response to the invitation, taking the letter back from you.

“Please, mum! You know I will not be able to handle being there for more than five minutes.” You pleaded.

“What are you talking about? The Weasleys are very good people, y/n. You know that. You should be appreciative that they invited us.” She said sternly, a slight scowl forming on her face.

“I’m not talking about the Weasley family, I’m talking about Fred and George! The twins! They’re horrible! Please, just let me stay home, mum. You can tell them I’m sick or already on a trip with friends!” There was pure determination in your words, you were not going to spend any amount of time around Fred and George Weasley during your break.

“No, Y/N. They invited us, which means you too. It’ll only be for a single afternoon, you can deal with it.” Your mother shut down your begging, “Make sure you have a dress or…just find some nice clothes to wear, the dinner is tomorrow.” She began to leave the kitchen, turning around to ask you one last thing. 

“Also, could you send a letter back? Saying that we will be there? Thanks, darling.” She walked out of the room before you could protest anymore. You groaned, placing your head in your hands.

✦✦✦

This wasn’t the first time you were invited to the Weasley's house. There was one or two times where they invited you, you would’ve gone if Fred and George didn’t live there, so you faked being sick. 

Of course, your mother wouldn’t fall for it this time. So, you slipped on a nice pair of jeans and a comfortably warm sweater. 

While checking yourself out in the mirror, making sure nothing looked weird on you, an owl flew onto your windowsill, holding a bright purple envelope sealed with orange wax in between its beak. You were hesitant to take the envelope from it. You’ve never seen this bird before.

You nervously took the envelope from the bird and it flew away without any problem. Being more confused than ever, you flipped the envelope to the back, maybe it had been delivered to the wrong person?

However, your address was issued underneath it, it even stated where your bedroom was. Your stomach tensed, this was creepy. A bird you’ve never seen before shows up at your window with a tacky envelope that has direct instructions to your bedroom.

You opened it cautiously, not knowing what would be inside, as soon as it was halfway open, confetti and a few miniature fireworks popped out.

A little birdy (no pun intended) told us you were coming over tonight! Can’t wait to see you, we miss seeing your scowls and hearing your mean voice!    - F & G

Of course, the twins. How the hell did they know the exact location of your room? While trying to figure that out, you nearly missed the small writing at the bottom of the card.

p.s. we have a gift for you, hopefully, you’ll like it :)

You furiously crumbled it up, practically slamming it into your trash bin. Stomping back to your mirror, you picked out all the bits of confetti that had got caught in your hair and the few pieces on your sweater and floor until your mum told you it was time to leave.

Merlin, have mercy on me. You thought to yourself.

✦✦✦

The dinner party wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. The first thing you noticed was how Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were the most welcoming and kindest people you met. You wondered how Mrs. Weasley especially dealt with the twins and their mischief for fifteen years of her life. 

When you sat down at the table with everyone else, you were disappointed in Harry and Hermione's absences, you expected at least one of them to be there. However, Hermione was traveling with her parents and Harry wasn’t allowed to leave the Dursleys home.

You kept your distance from the twins, choosing the seat that was farthest from them at the table, sticking by Ginny's side and making conversation with her. Yet, the twins still took any chance they could get to mess with you.

They stole food off your plate when you weren’t looking, taking whatever bowl of food you were reaching for first, even putting whatever potion they made to cause your roasted ham to turn into a green color.

“Hey, it’s like that one muggle book, with the guy who rhymes!” Fred pointed out.

“What was his name? Dr.Sauce?” Fred quipped, Ginny let out a small giggle at the name.

“Dr.Seuss, Fred.” Mr. Weasley corrected, “I’ve actually had to take in a few of his books at work. One bloke was trying to figure out why the drawings weren’t moving.” Their dad chuckled and nudged you playfully with his elbow.

Anyway, you tried to stay as positive and nice as you could at the table, but you had to refrain from rolling your eyes anytime Fred or George opened their mouths. Any slight expression of annoyance would earn you a small kick under the table and a stern stare from your mum, your dad would clear his throat or raise his eyebrows at you, these were their ways of saying “Behave, be nice, I’m warning you.”

You were still upset that you had to deal with the one thing- two things you were glad to stay away from, that you expected to stay away from during your winter break. You only had one unwanted big interaction with them, the others were small.

All the adults were in the front yard drinking and having their “alone time from you kids” as Mr. Weasley jokingly said to you. Ginny and Ron were arguing over the TV remote, constantly stealing it from each other and changing the channel to what one of them wanted.

You made your escape by excusing yourself to the kitchen, going to the sink, and refilling your glass with water.

While taking a drink from your glass, you weren’t paying attention to the sneaky and slow footsteps coming behind you. The next thing you felt was two sets of hands on each of your upper arms and you heard two loud troll-like screams.

You jumped and choked on your water, coughing violently as you put down your glass and turned around, shoving both of the twins away as they chuckled.

“What the hell was that for?” You fumed through hard coughs.

“We missed you! We haven’t been able to tease you in months!” George chuckled.

“It feels like we’ve been going through withdrawals.” Fred dramatically said, putting a hand over his heart.

“It’s not teasing, it’s annoying and rude. Now I'd like for both of you to get away from me.” You shoved yourself through both of them, splitting them apart from each other.

✦✦✦

The biggest sigh of relief left your body when you finally got back home. You traveled by floo powder and while getting ready to throw the dust down, you heard those two annoying voices call your name.

“Y/N! Y/N! We haven’t given you your gift yet!” You smiled mockingly as you said your address out loud, throwing the powder down and letting the green flames engulf you and send you back to the fireplace at your home.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, wasn’t it?” Your father teased as you brushed the floo powder off your clothes. “I know those boys irritate you but you’re going to have to learn how to deal with it unfortunately. I don’t believe that won’t be the only visit we make to the Weasley's burrow. You know your mum will want to invite them over too now.” He patted your shoulder and left the room.

You slipped off your shoes and headed upstairs, by the time you opened your door, there was an owl sitting at your windowsill once again. The same owl from before you left with the same tacky envelope.

You took it and opened it clumsily. You breathed out and began to read the messy handwriting.

It was very nice to see your face again! We missed you! 

They didn’t miss you, they missed playing pranks on you. 

So sweet for you to come over and see us! Can’t wait until we get back to school, we have a few surprises up our sleeves. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the dinner!

                                                Love, Gred and Forge

p.s. you forgot your gift! :(

You rolled your eyes as you tossed the card into the trash, walking up to the owl, you hadn’t noticed the small box in its claws, the owl dropped it in your hand, and you stared at it intently.

A small purple box, wrapped with an orange ribbon and tie on top. What’s with them and the colors purple and orange?

You noticed the owl was still sitting at your window as if it was waiting for you to give a letter back.

“Go on, shoo! I’m not sending anything back!” You waved the feathery bird off, lying back down on your bed, going back to analyzing the little box. You didn’t open it, you knew there was most likely some trick to it, maybe like a bunch of glitter would shoot out, or a million tiny fireworks. They wouldn’t give you a plain present, there always had to be something mischievous added to it.

You set it down on your nightstand by your bed. Maybe you’d open it. But not now, you’ll deal with whatever happens when you open it later.

✦✦✦

Maybe about two hours later that bloody owl had come back. You snatched the letter and tore it open, there was no more care in you to be neat with the envelopes.

It’s a bit rude to receive our letter and not respond, I thought you’d said before that you were the one with manners, Ms. Y/L/N. How’d you like your gift? Don’t leave us waiting and wondering! 

One of them had drawn a stick figure with a sad face, with tiny rows of tears falling from its eyes. You smiled at it, then stopped, going back to a straight face once you remembered who this drawing was from. You did not find the twins funny, you never will.

You stomped over to your desk, grabbing a piece of paper, a bottle of ink, and your quill, writing the only letter you would ever send them willingly.

The dinner was very nice, I’m grateful and appreciative that your mother let us come over. I thank her for that. I’m not trusting that box you gave me. I’m not sending any more letters to you two dimwits. Now, shut up and leave me alone you CREEPS!

You wrote the last word in red ink with multiple underlines, hoping they would get your message and finally leave you alone, you knew they wouldn’t, but you tried anyway. You signed your name off nicely, unbothered to put it in an envelope, you weren’t going to put a single bit of effort into anything that was for Fred and George. You gave your paper to your owl this time instead of theirs, giving her sweet words of appreciation and asking her for one extra favor.

“Bite Fred for me, or whichever twin is closer.” You smiled, sending your owl out your window and off into the air.

Only thirty minutes later your owl had returned with a letter, the same one you had sent to them, the only difference was that it had different writing on the back.

We’ll see about that. You let out an angry sigh, crumpling it up and throwing it into the bin, along with the various other purple envelopes. 

You closed and locked your window, putting your owl in her cage and letting her go to bed, covering her cage with a sheet so she wouldn’t be woken up by any light. Then, you decided to go to bed as well, hoping you would sleep through any other attempts of the boys trying to piss you off by sending you letters. 

Fortunately, after that it was silent. Unfortunately, your own thoughts were too loud, they were keeping you awake.

There was a small interaction you had with Fred, it lasted probably for only a minute. 

You were standing in the corner of the kitchen as everyone was conversing in their own separate groups. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking to your parents, Ginny and Hermione both complaining about Ron, Ron and Harry were debating about something Quidditch related with the twins.

All the social interaction had drained you, and you really needed to be alone. You excused yourself once again to the bathroom, which was on the third floor. You stood around for a little while in the bathroom, with how talkative your parents were, you knew you wouldn’t be leaving for the next few hours. 

You wondered how long you could be there, how long it would take for anybody to notice that you've been gone for an abnormally large amount of time. You realized you couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever so you left.

You reached the first floor when you realized you weren't ready to go back down where everyone was, you decided to wander down the hallway. Walking slowly and taking small steps, taking a look at each room with an open door. The rooms were a bit small but still nice, at least Ginny’s was still nice.

Her bed was neatly made, there was a wooden desk that had little trinkets lined up across it, a quill and ink sat carefully on top of some papers. Her wall had various Hogwarts and Gryffindor-related things stuck to it.

The next room was above hers, on the second floor. This one was a bit more spacious than the others. Two beds on opposite sides of the room, and another large wooden desk, the same as Ginny’s placed right in front of a window. Except this desk was messy, the whole room was messy.

Beds unmade, socks sprawled across the floor, clothes shoved poorly into their dresser drawer, some popular rock wizard bands posters terribly taped and quidditch medals pinned to the wall. Their desk had multiple crumpled-up balls of paper on it and around it, envelopes, drops, and splatters of black ink staining the glossy wood, candy wrappers, an open textbook nearly about to fall off the edge, and papers with sketches and such bad handwriting it looked like scribbles. 

You fully walked into the room and went over to the desk, picking up one of the parchments that had the most eligible writing. It was a list of sweets, apparently. You’ve never heard of these before.

- CANARY CREAM

- SCREAMING YO-YO

- FEVER FUDGE

- PUKING PASTILLE

- GLOW IN THE DARK GUM

- WEATHER IN A BOTTLE

“Hasn’t your mother told you not to snoop around?” A voice asked from behind you. You jumped and turned around quickly, only to see a tall, redheaded, smirking boy leaning against the doorway. 

Fred, you could tell it was him. He and George are easy to tell apart, for you at least. The way Fred carries himself, how he stands, how he looks, how he annoys you.

“Hasn’t yours told you not to sneak up on people?” You bit back. He shrugged and pushed himself away from the doorway, slowly walking towards you.

“Ah! You’ve found me and George's great ideas!” He nodded at the paper that was still in your hand. The paper that had their “great” ideas, sure.

“How are these great? Fever fudge? Puking pastille? Who would even want these? It’s sick!” You said disgustedly.

“They are sick. Literally.” He chuckled, only to get a grimace from you. “Anyways, kids who want to get out of class want these. But, we’re still working on them. Some of them haven’t worked out the way we wanted them to.” He trailed off.

“Yeah, like the canary cream.” You let out a small scoff.

“Listen, it was an accident!” Fred cried out, taking the paper from you.

“An accident you thought was hilarious.” You spat. Fred’s eyes wandered until they got stuck on a shiny piece of something in your hair. Confetti.

“Uh, you’ve got some confetti in your hair.” He pointed out. Your eyes grew wide in embarrassment, you’d been here the entire time with confetti still stuck in your hair and no one informed you about it. You took your fingers and immediately started combing through your hair.

“Did I get it?” You asked anxiously, Fred only shook his head from side to side. You repeated your actions and asked again, he repeated his again in response. 

“You know what, let me just…” He mumbled, his hand reaching out to your head, plucking out the piece with caution to not pluck out a strand of your hair as well, you didn’t stop him. “There. It’s out.” He gave you a tight-lipped smile.

There was a pause between you two. Time felt like it slowed down as he removed his hand from your hair. There was a twinkle in his eye, his face glowed in the moonlight which was the only source of light in the room. 

“Well, no thanks to you. You’re the one who caused it to get stuck there in the first place.” You shoved past him once again. Heading back downstairs.

Tossing, turning, constantly changing your position, removing blankets, flipping your pillows. Nothing seemed to help you get comfortable. You even tried the classic counting sheep. Nothing.

The moonlight peeked through your windows, and a large stripe of light shined on that stupid little box. You couldn’t take your eyes off it.

[lycandrophile]

i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!

[brittle-doughie]

(Part 2!)

The next day, Sunflower Cookie went back to the ruin castle, overgrown with sunflowers taller than the crumble walls themselves. Something felt off, along with the “soul-jam” that they found yesterday. Sunflower Cookie was gonna get to the bottom of this mystery, if they don’t like it or not. They hop and climb over the rumble on the ground, getting into the castle and passing by the glass mural. They grab the soul-jam out of their messenger bag, the warm teardrop gem still warm in their hands. “So what is my connection with this castle? You talked yesterday so you can talk today.” Sunflower Cookie question the gem, kicking a small pebble. “Oh, dear friend. You’ll manage to keep your curiosity! But you lost your memories and original form.” The gem said, chuckling then sighing. Sunflower Cookie groans loudly in frustration, annoyed at the clairvoyant answer. “Come on! You said that last night when I asked!” Sunflower Cookie kept walking through the rubble, going deeper and deeper into the castle.

After a while, they reach a library inside the ruin castle. Sunflower Cookie could read for hours on end, so they were excited. Browsing the shelves, they notice a book written by someone called Light Milk Cookie that was illustrated by Blooming Butter Cookie. The book was about the theatrical arts and science. The illustrations were fantastic, where Sunflower Cookie couldn’t help feel proud for some reason. “Oh…this book. I remember Light Milk Cookie’s explaining about a lot of stuff for hours while you try to write and draw all of it down for this book, while also trying to pay attention.” The Light of Compassion chuckled. Sunflower Cookie just gave a strange look and puts the book into their bag.

Later, Sunflower Cookie reach an old training ground of sorts. The ground was covered in scratches and the slight smell of spice in the air. “The training grounds where Red Spice Cookie would spar with you, even though you were significantly weaker than him, you still kept up a fight. And then afterwords you two laugh it off.” Sunflower Cookie was definitely put off at that one. They aren’t a fighter, their a writer.

Next, they went into small meditation room, where the cupboards had tea leaves and incense. “I still distinctly remember you not be able to sit still while Clear Flour Cookie and you tried to meditate. And while you didn’t like the tea, you still drank it to make her happy.” Sunflower Cookie has trouble trying to like tea, so that actually made kinda sense.

After that, they went into a garden, still blooming with brightly color flowers of pink and yellow. “The hours you and Sweet Sugar Cookie would work on this garden, getting dirty and observing the bugs. Then, you two take a long nap, exhausted.” Sunflower Cookie doodles a ladybug in their notebook, listening to the soul-jam. They do like to observe bugs, not anything gross though.

Finally, they walked just outside the castle, sitting of a bench. “Fair Salt Cookie would come back sometimes with wounds protecting the innocent. You would tend to him, ranting to him to be more careful while he sighs at your concern. Oh yeah good times.” Sunflower Cookie just listen, vaguely remembering all of it, but there are still torched pieces of a painting.

After exploring the castle, Sunflower Cookie went back to the Cookie Kingdom and went to bed…

…At the Ivory Pagoda, Mystic Flour Cookie’s apathetic atmosphere slightly change. “Oh. Have the seeds grown back to a sunflower? Will we have tea again?”

In the ruin lands of destruction, Burning Spice Cookie laughs in excitement. “Hahaha! Looks like the sparring matches will be greater than ever! Will you have new tricks up your sleeve!?”

Up in the sugary clouds, Eternal Sugar perked up from her slothful nap. “*yawn*. Is that…you…Blooming Butter..?” Her voice softened, cracking with grief. Deep inside the Silver Tree, Shadow Milk Cookie hummed. “Ugh! Thousands of years stuck in this tree, and I can’t think I a play you might like. No matter~ I can always use simple lying!”

And deep in a dark forest, Silent Salt Cookie stop in his tracks, armor covered hand clutching his sword. “…” He looks onto the distance, silence went away with sad silence instead. He walks further in, eventually reaching a ruin castle overgrown with sunflowers taller than the ruin walls. He walks in, passing rubble and further in. He walks towards a bench, sitting on a spot where he sat thousands of years earlier, where he had a friend scold him about be careful while tending to his wounds. He lays a hand over the spot his friend sat, feeling the warmth of a sunset. He now know, that his friends is back, but not the same. They won’t remember him, or anyone else. A single tear drops onto the ground, the only thing breaking the silence.

Neat read.

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ thursday 19th of december

⋆˙⟡

can confirm : worst day of my life. i woke up and i told myself, ur so sick and genuinely didn’t sleep at all, today food is your fuel. it’s a sad reality im shameful i really am, but you have to understand i needed to get to college today

at 4:50 am i had breakfast, i took no photos because i felt such deep shame, i was calling with eli and i remember saying that my tray looked like i was in recovery cause of the volume. i wanna cry just thinking about it. i didn’t count cause i knew i would end it all

breakfast :

some leftovers from yesterday, less than yesterday though.

1 slices of bread with chicken meat on it, also had ketchup and mayo.

a banana, 2 lotus cookies, and some kind of other sweet cookie thing

maybe 10 g of paprika potato chips ?

it made me feel bad eating, i actually really didn’t want to. i got dressed 3x slower than usual, everything hurt so bad. soso bad. i tried zipping up my jacket when i left the house and i literally couldn’t and i was so mad it woke my dad up and he zipped it up for me sigh…

i went to school and i fell asleep in the train, haku called me awake tho. i walked so slow haku later told me it actually pissed him off but he knew it couldn’t be helped…

during college i didn’t do much, i coloured some of my animation cause my hands were too shaky to continue on lineart, it all hurt so bad. i watched rupauls drag race with haku, which was funny

i went home and when i was walking i literally felt so terrible , just as terrible as when i fasted for 70 hours or when i started doing 500 cal omad at START WEIGHT.. that was so bad lol

we went to the amazing oriental and i got 2 onigiri’s and a sweet roll thing. the pack had 2 of those so i gave haku one. eli sent me some money so i didn’t feel guilty spending the money lol

then i went home in the train, and afterwards i took the bus cause thank lord himself i already had 10k steps by then and i still did get extra steps cause my busses changed and now the bus that stops the closest to my house is still 10-15 mins away

got home exhausted tired and barely conscious sadly. i had a little autistic meltdown trying to get undressed i literally broke one of the buttons on my jacket mmm..

dinner :

1 tuna onigiri, 1 salmon onigiri, one vanilla cream sweet roll thing

the onigiri’s were so good ! i love eating it super cold it’s delicious. the sweet rolls were like, super fluffy like cloud bread and the cream was so sweeeeet and delicious

dinner 2 :

3 1/8’th slices of pepperoni pizza, 2 kinder bueno sticks

yeah so i only wanted to eat the last kinder bueno we had, it was going to be a long time since i would have those again, im not buying myself anything like that unless my parents or someone else buys it for me of THEIR will, i will not ask anyone for it. but my mom got a bit upset at me and told me she didn’t believe i had food and urged me to grab something so i did i dont know why i didn’t make a fuss

i should’ve flushed it, but i felt so disgustingly defeated.. so i just ate it. i thought “fuck it, i already fucked up enough, might as well eat fucking pizza at this point”

i fell asleep soon after eating that, makeup on, lashes on, contacts in… i woke up at 12 am feeling refreshed. i cleaned my face and took out my contacts and i watched reels until 2 am. i couldn’t stop sending haku reels and he literally said “go to sleep” and i was like ahaha… okaay… so i went to sleep

im kind of disappointed in myself, but i also can’t blame myself. the day before i totally overdid myself running a whole ass marathon and then not getting any sleep it was crazy. i don’t know what possessed me… but. it’s fine. days start fresh i guess.

only the last thigh picture was taken recently, the rest are all just recents, and the before pictures were all taken in the high 70 kgs… 75-79 kg range… it’s all so terrible…

cals : N.V.T but too many sigh

steps : 12.1 k

love her

⋆˙⟡

[suljaffs]

“S e c o n d c h a n c e s”

Synopsis: You and Katsuki are past lovers who didn’t have the best relationship nor mental stability for a relationship. When you come cross eachother at his family owned coffee shop, you both take the chance to reconnect.

Warnings: This is not nsfw!! It is Angst!!

Tags: GN!Reader, facialhair bakugou 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦, breakup, adult!Bakugo adult!reader

The clock struck 5:00 and despite all the workload and stress that you felt you should be focusing on, the only thing you craved was a cup of coffee. Naturally so, you decided to pause your 3 hour work bender and take a walk down to the coffee shop for not only your desired coffee but also a nice fresh of air. I mean, It was 5 in the morning, who was going to be out this early?

Five, ten, twelve, and so on. You always counted the murals around town on your walk because it helped pass time quicker. After all, there’s only so many things to keep you entertained when you’ve decided to sacrifice paying your phone bill. Times are getting hard but you manage, somehow. With the shop that you were going to, you frequented there since middle school, being a close customer to the Bakugo family, the family who owned the shop. Every time you went, it was a wonderful experience of laughing and sweet conversations about life that never seemed to get awkward. When you first began to go back to the shop around three years ago, 2 years after the breakup, you always had a thought in the back of your mind that you would run into your ex, Katsuki. Sooner or later, that feeling subsided as each day you made your way into the shop and was only introduced by Mitsubishi and Masaru Bakugo. Some days, it was other employees they hired, fired, and replaced over time. It wasn’t something that made you sad. In fact, it was bittersweet. You didn’t have to worry about awkward interactions with a boy you once cried for because he was off pursuing his dreams of being a Hero.

As you made your way into the coffee shop, the chime of the bell signaling your arrival, you noticed it to be a few other people in the coffee shop. The look on some were exhausted, tired, and worn out. On others, it was smiles and laughs among a small group. You stepped up to the counter after the person in front of you was done, your head down, preparing to pull out a couple dollars, the amount u always spend. “Didn’t expect for it to be anyone but me.” A small laugh following your statement. A raspy, almost familiar voice rang out. “Yea, not sure, might be some kind of special day.” Even though the voice sounded assuring, you couldn’t bring your eyes up from your hands, scared it was indeed the face you associated with that voice. “What can I get for you today?” “Iced coffee, oat milk please.” Your tone was stern and though the people in the shop were still laughing, working, and living, the ambiance in the room shifted, everything felt awkward. “…..$5.00” you slid him the money, ignoring his tone which almost sounded reminiscent, and standing off to the side of the counter.

As you stood off to the side, you couldn’t help but watch him make your drink. It had indeed been him. Even though his hair was slick backed and he no longer had that look on his face that made him look like he never was content with life, he still had those same beautiful eyes you fell in love with. You couldn’t help but think that his new look was actually a step up from the last time you seen him: The way his rolled up sleeves accentuated his muscles, the conspicuous goatee that you can tell he takes prestige care of, and his sculpted eyebrows which you always had to fight with him to trim. It was all things that were oh so subtle but just so important and prominent to you. All things you tried to deny you missed.

“Here you are.” He handed you your drink. You decided to finally look at his face, taking the cup from his hand. However, he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking down. Just like you were. “Thanks.”

You decided to drink at one of the outside tables, needing time to come to terms with your emotions before you decide an appropriate approach. “Should I approach him?” “What if he doesn’t miss me like I do?” “Bullshit, he obviously does.” “But what if he doesn’t?” Too many thoughts at once, which you knew could only be soothed with a distraction. Work. “I’ll just go home and finish up that essay, worrying about this won’t do much.” You thought to yourself. It had been a prominent trait for you to avoid things unless it was psychically productful no matter how much your feelings yearned for otherwise. You got up with a sigh and made your way back down the street. You were a good distance from the cafe before you heard a calling: “Y/n.” That voice…

You hesitantly turned around to the sight of Katsuki only a couple feet behind you, breathing rapidly in an attempt to collect himself. Was this real life? “I just.. I had to say something, Y/n… I don’t want to act like I don’t know you.” His anxious tone provoked something in you. You wanted to say something back, anything, but your mind couldn’t come to a conclusion as fast as you could open your mouth. “I know I was the worse but I just want you to know I’ve never stopped thinking about you. Never” He paused. Almost looking as if he regretted what he said. “I know it doesn’t mean much to you because we’re adults now and you probably hate me, but every time I’ve been on the brink of death,” he swallowed “And even now… i think of you.” You smiled at his speech, it was a bittersweet feel. The boy who u cried over for not communicating enough was now a grown man who was admitting to you his feelings. You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, wondering where he’d learned that.

“What an approach… but I like the new look you got going on.” A soft smile creeped its way onto your face. It wasn’t that you dismissed what he said but you knew you couldn’t handle a conversation like that. Not so sudden, not now. “Oh this… yea, you know, I’ve changed… a lot.” His tone was soft, but just loud enough for you to hear. “Yea the hair changed drastically!” “Hey! It’s just to look presentable for my parents.” You both giggled like you were little teenagers again, sitting at the playground together because with you both going to two separate high schools, it was the only time you two met. Once the laughing segment was over, Katsuki had that look again, that sad look. “Y/n, please. I need to know, do you think about me too? Just as much as I think about you?” He paused, his jaw seemingly locking up. “Y/n.. do you hate me?” His voice trembled more and more. “Slow down..” you hushed him with a reassuring laugh. “Katsuki, I could never hate you.” You took a couple steps closer to him, hesitation in every step. “I’ve thought about you too. All those days walking home, stopping at that shop after school just to see you.. free coffee as well but also yk, the days where you cried in my arms about how tired you were of UA…” you took a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing. “We were kids, Katsuki.” You couldn’t resist the urge to take his hand, your hot hand grabbing his, cold. You fondled with his fingers whilst the sun rose, peaking through the clouds. “Tell me, y/n. Can we do It again?” His eyes closed, his head resting on top of yours. A big part of you wanted to say yes, do it over again and do it right. But the other half of you knows that it won’t be the same. The days where you stood outside his house, waiting for him to come outside just for him to text you saying he forgot about the plans and went out with friends instead. It won’t be the same, for the better. But is that a chance you’re willing to take? “I’m not sure, Katsuki.” Your tone was sniffled though you weren’t crying… yet. He intertwined his fingers with yours, taking your hand to his mouth. “I’m sorry.” He said with a whisper as he planted a deep kiss on your hand. “I was dumb and stupid.” He placed another. “But if it’s not what you want, I won’t force it. Just know that I love you y/n. Always will. And I feel like a fool but I miss you so so so much. if I had a chance to get back that pure love you gave me, I would take it without hesitation.” “Me too… me too.” You closed your eyes too, leaning into him whilst taking in the moment for what it’s worth because you both understood sooner or later, you had to let go.

“Bye.” His words struck you as he untwined his fingers, retreating himself from you. As you watched him walk the opposite way, you could feel the tears in your eyes start to form. There was so much more you wanted to say but it would amount to nothing, so much you wanted to tell him. You shrugged it off and turned away from him, continuing your walk back home against your will. Five, ten, twelve, and so on. But one thing that struck you on your walk now was that he wasn’t by your side. After all, before it was just you waking alone, it was him teaching you how to use the murals as direction, and in the back of your mind you sometimes feel 16 again, with him counting by your side.

[whoisneo404]

If you have the chance could you possibly continue Proud of you, buddy . Maybe it could be him asking the boy out and calling nick to tell him or him coming out to the family and nick just there supporting him through it ( also wanted to tell you that i love your stories )

Proud of you, buddy. Part 2.

Summary: after talking with Nick, you stayed up all night thinking about confessing your feelings to Jackson, you decided that tomorrow (Friday) will be the best day to do it, since it will be the start of your summer break.

Tw: cursing.

I wanted this to be perfect. Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I made it Nicks problem.

‘’You know I am bad at crafts.’’ He said while folding the color papers I gave him.

‘’I know, but I need help. This paper bouquet won’t do itself.’’ Nick rolls his eyes.

‘’What are you doing anyways that you don’t do the bouquet for your boyfriend.’’

‘’He’s not my boyfriend, shut up. I’m writing him a letter.’’ I blush and look down at the empty piece of paper infront of me.

‘’Oh boy, teenage love is so cute, I feel like a grandpa right now.’’

‘’Yeah, ‘cus you are old.’’ I laugh and he scoffs.

‘’I won’t help you anymore, then. My hands are too old to be folding these tiny papers’’

‘’NO, it was a joke, you are as young as a baby.’’ he laughs and keeps folding the papers.

‘’Hey, I know it can be scary, just write what you feel, yeah?’’ I nod and let out a sigh. Starting to write on the paper.

We talked until it was too late, we laughed and he shared his experiences declaring to boys and things like that. I knew I was close with my older brother, but I feel like this brought us even closer. I ended up sleeping 3 and a half hours, the next morning I was looking rough, Nick woke up early to help me pick an outfit and to drop me off to school with dad.

‘’Remember buddy, breath and say what you feel.’’ I nod and he pats my shoulder. I walk into my first period which was chemistry, I have to wait until 4th period to talk to Jackson.

I talk with my friends; I laugh with them. But I can’t shake away the though of Jackson and what he might say. I take deep breathes on the halls as I change classrooms, 3rd period ends and I’m walking into my english literature class, I feel some arms wrap around me, I look besides me and see Jackson smiling at me.

‘’Hi, why didn’t you wait for me?’’ he asks me.

‘’Oh, shit. I forgot.’’

‘’You forgot about me? AUCH. My heart, I am dying.’’ He grabs his chest dramatically and puts most of the weight of his body on me. ‘’Carry me, I am bleeding out.’’

‘’I didn’t forget about you, I forgot to wait. I didn’t wanted to be late again.’’

‘’Again? We are late to english literature like… 4 times a week?’’

‘’Yes, and we have it 4 times a week, you dumbass.’’ He stands straight, one arm still around my shoulder.

‘’Right, I forget. What would I do without you?’’

‘’Probably die.’’ He laughs

‘’True. You are my savior.’’ We enter the classroom and sit on out places, which are next to each other, we share table because the teacher says Jackson pays more attention and gets better grades when he’s with me, I think it’s because he just copies everything I do.

‘’Good morning class.’’ The teacher enters the classroom with a mug of coffee on her hand and starts talking about what we will do today.

‘’Hey, Jack.’’ I whisper and punch him softly.

‘’Hm?’’

‘’Can we talk at the end of the day?’’ I ask trying to not sound nervous.

‘’Yeah. Why not now?’’

‘’You’ll see. Just pay attention to what she’s saying.’’

‘’All right, Mr. Favorite Student.’’

The rest of the day went smoothly, Jackson and I lunched together as always. I wrote to Nick on the bathroom because I was panicking. At the end of the day Nick told me he will be waiting for me with a giant ice cream container, to celebrate or just in case.

I was outside the building, on the quiet part, where people didn’t hang around as much. I looked at Jackson approaching with a wide smile on his face.

‘’Heyo! What is it that you wanted to talk about?’’

‘’It’s a bit complicated.’’ His smile fades and nods.

‘’It’s all right dude, whatever you need I’m here to listen.’’ He pats my shoulder and sits on the ground, his back against the school bricks. I sit beside him.

‘’Well, there is something I’d like to give you.’’ His eyes widen and smiles again.

‘’Bring it out man.’’ I take a deep breath and take out of my backpack the card and the little paper bouquet. ‘’Aw, dude, that’s so cute. Thanks. Is it our anniversary or something? Why are you gifting me flowers honey?’’ he jokes, as he often does. I shrug my shoulders and point at the card. ‘’Yeah right, I should read it.’’ He reads it quietly, he bites his lip while doing so, a small smile on his face, I look down at my hands and try to not cry on stop. ‘’Shit, you are such a dork.’’ I feel his hand grabbing my face and turning my face to him, he kisses my lips. ‘’I like you too, dumbass. Can I be your boyfriend?’’

‘’What? Really.’’ My brain feels dizzy, I’m trying to process what jus happened. ‘’YES, yes.’’ After I can keep rambling, he kisses me again. We break the kiss because my phone is ringing.

‘’Where the fuck are you?’’ Matts voice sound on my ear.

‘’Shit, sorry. I lost track of time. I’m on my way.’’ I close the call and give Jackson a small kiss on the lips. ‘’Bye, see you at the dinner.’’

‘’Bye. I will be there, wait for me.’’

I rush to the car, a big smile on my face.

‘’Damn buddy, what got you so happy?’’

‘’Matt… I have a boyfriend!’’ Matt looks at me dead in the eyes and blinks twice.

‘’That’s amazing, I’m proud of you buddy.’’ He gives me a small hug and starts driving home. ‘’Is he a good guy?’’

‘’Yes, he’s really kind.’’

‘’Does he know you have 4 older brother that can beat him up?’’

‘’Yes, he knows. He’s cool Matt.’’

‘’He better be.’’

We arrive home and I swing the door open, Nick is sitting on the couch, already eating some of the ice cream.

‘’HE SAID YES!’’ Nick stands up from the couch, his eyes wide open.

‘’OH MY GOD, YEEES!!!’’ he hugs me and we jump happily.

‘’What am I missing?’’ Chris who was also eating the ice cream looks at us confused. ‘’Matt, who the fuck said yes?’’

‘’Don’t ask me, the news are as new to me as they are to you.’’ He messes up my hair as he passes by Nick and I.

‘’Chris. I have a boyfriend.’’

‘’A what?...’’ he stares at me for a few seconds. ‘’DAMN, THAT’S NICE, BUDDY. Come here, hug your older brother.’’ He walks over to me and Nick and hugs the both of us. ‘’Be who you aaaare.’’

‘’To soon, Chris.’’ Nick mutters.

‘’Oh shit, sorry.’’ He chuckles. ‘’Proud of you, buddy. When will we get to meet him?’’

‘’He’s coming for mom’s birthday.’’

‘’Oh, that’s cool.’’ Nick says.

‘’Yeah, I think I’ll tell mom, dad and Justin that day.’’

‘’Sounds like a plan.’’ Chris says. Then looks at Matt that was sitting on the couch. ‘’Don’t be a grumpy fuck Matt, come hug your brothers.’’ Matt smiles and gets up to hug us.

‘’Thank you guys, you are the best.’’

‘’We are.’’ Nick says.