#tommy shelby series

[brummiereader]

Binding Love

(Masterlist)

Summary: Soon to be divorced and co-parenting with the notorious leader of the Peaky Blinders was never going to be a breeze. But when a number of unanswered calls and a string of dead bodies surface in your attempts to move on, you gain the attention of a detective and the pressing matter of his colleagues whereabouts, with whom you had spent one evening on a date with. Promising you witness protection in return for the evidence he was sure you had on his sole suspect, your husband. Your future is left in the balance when Tommy's paranoia and inability to let you go makes itself known as your codependency continues to show no signs of surrendering. Will you let yourself be free of the man whose love for you has consumed him? Do you even want to be?

Warnings: Dark!Tommy, language, violence, psychological mind games, controlling behaviour, toxic relationship, manipulative behaviour, smut, psychological abuse, murder.

Authors Note: This is a Dark!Tommy series that some readers may find triggering. Please review the warnings before continuing.

Teaser Trailer

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven (completed series)

Gif credit: @mushroomseb. Go check out their amazing work!

[suckerforlovesblog]

Pretty little thing

Pretty little thing Masterlist

Series summary: All Mr. Shelby wanted was to remarry. He had to find himself another wife after the death of Grace, not just to take care of his son Charlie but also to grant him access to the finer society of Birmingham. All he wanted the girl to be was a pretty little thing on his arm who simply submitted, obeyed and followed his orders.

And he did find the perfect girl - young, very good looking, of a good upbringing, smart but little did he expect her to have such a strong mind of her own…

All he wanted to do was break her in, like a horse had to be, and his new wife put up a good fight but eventually he is sure, he will break her and make her his completely.

Series warning: Dark!Tommy, toxic relationship, abuse, rape, non consensual intercourse, rough sex, age gap, Sir kink, choking - all the things that come with rough smut

Chapter 1: The perfect girl

Summary: Thomas Shelby is out searching for a wife. Most young women in Birmingham throw themselves at him but he doesn’t like that and goes out further to search for the perfect girl to be on his arm whilst hanging on his lips.

Chapter Warning: age gap, swearing, mentions of sex

Word count: 1.5k

~ tag list: @ncoleys , @amberpanda99 , @priyajoyy @tommyshelbywhore @swordofawriter @goth-cowgirl-03 @thenattitude @sheun-555 @meetmeatyourworst @bruher @frazie99 @blvebanisters @jessimay89 ~

I‘m very intrigued to hear your thoughts!

Also: please let me know what you would like to read! My requests are OPEN!

End of 1925:

Thomas Shelby was still grieving the death of his beloved wife Grace, even after an entire year, and everyone around him knew. He did blame himself for her death because he gave her the bewitched jewel to wear and even put it onto her himself. And she wore it that night, like a target painted on her forehead. But business had to keep going and Charlie desperately needed a mother figure in his life. Frances, the maid, was doing her best and Ada and Polly came to help out from time the time but it just wasn’t the same. He had even hired a governess, a very pretty thing, blonde and petite and at least fifteen years younger then him, to attend to his son’s needs because he couldn’t always be there for him. Thomas who was now nearing forty, also really enjoyed the governess presence, at least when he bend her over a table, fucked her from behind and she didn’t talk. Other than that he avoided her most of the time and let her do her work.

She fulfilled his needs but it didn’t help him with business.

So, Thomas Shelby called a family meeting at Arrow House and now everyone was sitting in front of him in the drawing room: Arthur and Linda, John and Esme, Polly and Michael, Ada, Finn, Charlie, Curly, Jeremia and his son, and Lizzie, of course. Sometimes he still slept with her but she would never be good enough to be his wife. He did like her but Lizzie’s social standing was beneath his new position as a business man.

“Thank you everyone for coming, eh!”, Tommy’s voice boomed: “I have an important announcement to make and I think I need everyone’s help.” All the people in the small room looked at him. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and then said: “I decided that it’s time for me to remarry. It will be good for business.” Lizzie looked at him with wide sad eyes, knowing he would never share the feelings she had for him. Arthur stood up, smiling and went up to give Thomas a small hug, “Proud of you, Tom. Linda will help for sure.” Everyone else looked reassuring and Curly started babbling something no one was able to make out. “May I ask what kind of business you think of concluding?”, Polly said. “Yes but I will not tell just yet ‘eh.”, Tommy says, wetting his lip, “I just think a wife will open up new branches for us and make the company more respectable.” He then puts a cigarette between his lips, after fishing it out of the gold case from the pocket of his coat: “Anyways today is a day to celebrate and I invite you all to dinner. Now, Michael, John and Arthur stay, everyone else I see at dinner.” Thomas lights his cigarette whilst everyone leaves the room except for his brothers and Michael. He sits back down and explains the guys what he’s looking for in his future wife, mostly talking to Michael because the girl should be around his age, a very desirable age in his opinion. The four men make a plan to start the search for his wife tomorrow, starting with all the respectable families in Birmingham and then toast to their success with Irish whiskey, of course.

Early spring of 1926:

Thomas and Michael looked at all the young women in Birmingham, from a respectable upbringing at least. John joked that the two of them fucked their way through Birmingham and that was true to some extent. None of the girls satisfied Thomas’ needs however and Michael was growing tired. “If you keep going like that Tom, we will never find a girl for you. One is not tall enough, the next one doesn’t have enough tits, another one is too stupid, then she is pretty but not gorgeous. This is exhausting.”, Michael says looking at him from the drivers seat of the new Bentley Thomas got. The car was extremely luxurious and expensive.

“Well Michael, we gotta find the perfect girl for me, eh.”, he answered, taking a puff of his cigarette, “She needs to be smart and eloquent for me to be able to bring her around business partners. But she ought to be gorgeous as well because then negotiations will be even easier because men are dumbstruck if they’re accompanied by beautiful women.” Michael also lights a cigarette: “I get that Tom but if we keep going at that speed my dick won’t work anymore with the girl I may marry in the future because I emptied everything I have into some girls” They both laughed and kept driving to meet Alfie Solomons in Camden Town for business.

After driving past the first couple of buildings, he barks at Michael to stop the car and Thomas basically jumps out. He brushes his coat down, fishes a cigarette out of its case and puts it into it mouth leaving Michael more than puzzled. Thomas started walking towards a building, lighting the cigarette with a match and then enters a shop, a tailoring shop it appears. Michael still sits in the car, smoking a cigarette as well and waiting for him to come back.

Thomas looks around the shop, searching for the woman he just saw. He only saw her side profile but Tommy knew she was the one, now on his way to make her his, willing to do whatever it might take and hoping she wasn’t already married. Fuck, even if she was, he were to make her his for sure.

He was so occupied with his thoughts that he didn’t even hear the little bell ring as he entered through the door and then the people inside the shop turning to him. The pretty woman he searched for was sitting behind a desk to his right and he made his way towards her but was stopped abruptly in his step by the owner of the shop. “Sir”, the small man called out, “how may I help you?” “Aye, I need a new suit please and may I have a word with the young lady at the desk?”, Thomas answers. “For sure”, the man says in a low purr, scarred of the dominance in his voice, “we will leave you to it, Sir.” Tommy nods and the man leaves the shop through the back door, pulling a women behind him.

Thomas approaches the woman. She was already looking at him through her Y/E/C eyes, smiling lightly. “Hello miss, my name is Thomas Shelby, owner of the Shelby Company Limited. I saw you out in the street and you caught my eye”, he said and smiled an earnest smile. “My name is Y/N, my farther is the owner of the shop.”, the girl answered. He looked at her thoroughly and she got even more prettier the longer he looked at her. Although Thomas didn’t feel any affection towards her but she was very pretty for sure and he knew that she would be the perfect wife: young, a pretty face and fine features, nice hair, a slim figure. Her voice was very calm and had a pretty sound to it. He knew she would be the perfect little thing on his arm. He looks at her with his icy blue eyes, “Tell me sweetheart, how old are you?” “I just turned 18, Sir”, she said. The obedience and innocence in her voice made him hard, without help anyways, for the first time since Grace died. His heart ached for his lost love but he needed this to work and pushed the face of his dead wife out of his thoughts. “You’re not married, eh?”, he asked the girl more nearly twenty years younger then him. She shook his head, seemingly submitting him to, scarred of his booming figure. He really liked that and smiled: “Please get your farther to me, I need to speak with him. In private. And take the measurements for the suit I ordered, will you sweetheart?” She got up, nodding and getting her farther at first, afterwards measuring him and writing all the details down for his order. She was sent out shortly after, leaving her farther with the unknown man with the pretty blue eyes.

“Tell me Sir, is everything to your liking so far”, the old man asked Thomas. “Yes, indeed”, he answered with his thick Birmingham accent, “I would like to marry your daughter. I know this sounds rushed but she immediately caught my eye and I can provide for her very well.” The older man, the girls farther, looked at him reserved and averse. Thomas looked at him with his blue piercing eyes, radiating pride and dominance and the older man submitted. “Listen, eh, I give you a great deal for her and promise to provide and care for the girl.”, Thomas says, putting another cigarette between his lips, letting it dangle for a little while before lightning it with a match.

He pursued the conversation for a little while longer, settling everything important, like the wedding date and the money the family will receive. After it was all settled Thomas went outside of the shop, calling Michael to set up and then seal the document.

The girl came back into the shop, Thomas walked over to her and put his hand on her waist. She looked up at him confused but he just smiled at Michael: “Meet my darling fiancé, Y/N. We will be married in two weeks time and she will be Mrs. Shelby.”

[toms-cherry-trees]

Don't Hold My Hand (I'll Break Your Heart) || Tommy Shelby x Fem OC ~ Ch. 4

Summary: Charlotte realises that she doesn't know her employer as well as she thought she did. Clouded by indecisions, she takes a path that may have unexpected consequences when things take a turn for the worst

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Talks of medical procedures, needles and blood. Mentions of PTSD. Tommy gets violent. No beta reading we die like John

Author’s note: I have NO excuse. Not even I know why I dropped the ball on this, but I will just say that 2024 has been sucker punching me in the face since January 1st and has not given me respite. I am hoping that this time I will be able to post more consistently, but again, who knows with me?

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU NOTICE ANY GRAMMAR ERRORS

Requested taglist: @call-sign-shark  @zablife

《Prev part -

Bright sunlight peeked into the bedroom through the gaps in the curtains, bathing everything in golden warmth. Blackbirds and nightingales chirped in their branches, their cheerful songs mingling with the sounds of the daily bustling of the state; horses neighing in their paddocks, hounds barking at the sight of wild rabbits; the old truck coming up the road bringing fresh meat and groceries for the week. It all sounded so typical, so average, not a toe out of place, nothing out of the ordinary. Except Charlotte.

The first thing she noticed was that the bed under her aching body was not hers. Albeit top quality, the mattress she slept in had obviously been used before; softer around the middle and with a characteristic indent in the exact position where she sat every morning to slip on her stockings and shoes. But the one under her was much firmer and sturdy, and her back had definitely noticed it. The pillows also felt different, as did the sheets. The sun shone on the wrong side, not landing on the bed like she preferred. But it was all forgotten when she noticed a hand clinging to hers, fingers intertwined with her own on a gentle grip.

Her eyes opened abruptly, and she sat up so quickly bright lights danced in her vision. She was used to being awoken in a startle; injured and dying soldiers didn’t wait for her to wash her face and tighten her corset before coming in. But waking up in Tommy’s bed, dressed in only her nightgown and robe and with his hand laced with hers surpassed any startle. 

The memories from the last 24 hours flooded her mind like a horror movie. Doctor Keller’s visit, the uncertainty of the wait, the abrupt waking up with Thomas moaning in pain in the dead of the night, and the horrifying discovery of the punctures on his back, crimson blood soaking through gauzes and clothes onto the bed sheets. 

The man next to her slept so peacefully, face buried in the pillows and soft snores escaping his lips, one could hardly believe the suffering he had been subjected to just hours prior. The laudanum dosage Charlotte administered should keep him out of it until midday at least, but that didn’t worry her; he definitely looked like he needed that rest.

Carefully, with the same gentleness one would handle a newborn with, Lottie turned him on his side, propping his body with pillows to properly assess the damage. At least he hadn’t bled through his clothes again, but that small relief did little to placate the cold feeling that settled at the bottom of her stomach after she cut off the bandages. 

The wounds on his back had already begun to scab, surrounded by near black bruises of various sizes, from his mid back all the way down to the top of his tailbone. The punctures were evenly spaced both sideways and lengthwise, and Charlotte soon realised they were meant to follow the length of his spine. She could not even fathom the pain those must have caused, nerve damage or not.

Charlotte didn’t know how to proceed from there. Every fibre of her being urged her to run to Mrs. Gray, expose Doctor Keller for a charlatan, and let the Peaky Blinders dispose of him as they saw fit. But on the other hand, acting behind his back would surely shatter the feeble bond of trust Lottie and Tommy had developed. It didn’t matter that she only did it with his best interests in mind; he would perceive it as betrayal on her part, and would set back the small but significant progress she had made with him. She had a duty with her patient, but that duty had divided in two widely different roads, both pulling at her with equal strength.

A firm knock on the door interrupted her train of thought. In a panic, she realised it was a quarter past 10 in the morning, much later than the hour in which she usually fetched Tommy’s breakfast tray from the kitchens, a little after 9. A second, much larger panic overcame her as she took note of her state of dress, or rather, undress. She had no proper excuse to be in her nightgown only, and even if she explained that she had spent the night watching over Thomas, it still did not give her reason to look like she had just risen from bed, his bed. 

She paced back and forth, debating whether to answer the door or just feign deafness and pretend she wasn’t there. She could not hide there forever, but she much preferred to step out with no witnesses present. And God forbid it was Mrs. Gray on the other side; she held the woman in high esteem, and being found by her in such a compromising situation was mortifying, even if nothing less than honourable had happened. 

A third knock urged her to make a decision, and a small, female voice coming from the other side

“Nurse Tindall, are you in there? I’ve brought up the breakfast tray for Mr. Shelby, may I come in?”

Lottie breathed a sigh of relief as she recognised the voice of Ella, a new maid who was as sweet as she was witless. It would not be hard to distract her, as she did anything she was asked to, no matter how stupid the request sounded. Charlotte cleared her throat and walked closer to the door, making deliberate sounds around to appear busy.

“Mr. Shelby is getting dressed, come back later please” She did her best to sound firm in a kind way, not wanting to trigger another of the girl’s crying episodes over feeling herself scolded. But much to her unluckiness, Ella seemed committed to delivering the food, surely not wanting to unleash the cook’s wrath upon her. Peeling a cartful of potatoes surely drivers the lesson home to not let the eggs go cold.

“But I’ve already brought the tray over, and Mrs. Bird will be upset if I go back down with it. May I come in? I promise I won’t look!” Lottie could hear the distress in the girl’s voice; she knew that Ella would not survive long in the house’s service like that.

“I said no, Ella. Mr. Shelby needs his privacy” Her words came a little harsher than she had originally intended, and she could practically see Ella flinching and the wobble of her lower lip. Not wanting to send the maid back down defeated and in tears, she spoke again, a little softer this time “Leave the tray on the side table and I’ll bring it in once we’re finished here”

Lottie waited with bated breath, ears perked up as she heard Ella push aside some ornaments to place the silver tray down, catching even the soft tinkling of saucers and teacups. Her relief lasted only until she heard footsteps going down the stairs, for soon a deeper, slurred voice came from behind her.

“With that level of quick minded resourcefulness, you could work for my company”

Tommy was awake, no doubt aroused from his slumber by her banter with the maid. Charlotte had been certain that the sleeping tinctures would keep him under until at least after lunch, but again, what could half a cup of laudanum do against a man who had been using morphine and opium freely for the best part of the last five years?

Her nurse instincts kicked in and she immediately rushed to his side, taking a motherly stance as she gently brushed hair away from his forehead, discreetly checking for any rise in his temperature; although he felt sweaty, he didn’t seem to be running a fever. Her fingers circled his wrist, counting the steady beats of his heart, and her ears perked up, ready to detect any change in the pattern of his breathing.

“I am not dying, not yet at least” Thomas huffed, in what turned out to be a poor attempt at lightening the severity of the situation. But even then he couldn’t deny he had been left extremely weakened; even opening his eyes appeared to be a struggle, and the dark circles under them cut sharply against the sickly paleness of his complexion.

Charlotte felt grief tugging at her heartstrings at his sight, alongside an overcoming sense of guilt for not having stopped Doctor Keller; she should have trusted her gut and dragged them all out by the ankles the second they kept her from accompanying Thomas through the treatment. Nothing good ever came from things happening behind closed doors. And certainly nothing good could ever come from a treatment that required him to be gagged and held down.

She reached over to the basin to retrieve a damp cloth, gently dabbing away the sweat from Tommy’s temples and brow. His eyes closed again, tongue darting out to moisten his cracked lips. Lottie wanted to ask, she needed a what, a how and a why, but she didn’t want to push him when he looked like that, so miserable and battered. The sight of his back pierced and stabbed, his limp body lying on blood soaked sheets, and the helplessness and vulnerability in his eyes, had been forever engraved in her memory. To see a man like him brought down to that, it made her heart ache.

“Are you hungry?” She asked quietly, swallowing down her other questions and worries to focus first and foremost on his comfort. “I could ask the cook to make you something light if your stomach is upset. Maybe some soup and toast?”

He shook his head, opening one eye just enough to gauge Charlotte’s expression. Just like his aunt’s, there was something unsettling about Thomas’s gaze. While Mrs. Gray looked like she could know all your secrets with just one look, Thomas had a certain determination in his eyes, a glint of mischief added with something that Lottie couldn’t quite pinpoint; but she knew for certain that Mr. Shelby could convince anyone to do his bidding only by staring them down. But she also noticed he possessed the same perennial shadow that all war veterans did; a mark that they all shared and would never fade.

“I suppose asking you for a glass of whiskey and to pass me cigarettes won’t work even now, eh?”

Charlotte had always had more than a few opinions about Thomas’ average diet of eating nothing, but the fact that he felt well enough to joke about it did manage to lighten her spirits. She noticed he kept trying to dampen his lips and his tongue appeared quite parched; with a teaspoon she managed to give him some sips of water, since she didn’t feel confident enough to sit him up just yet.

A pregnant silence hovered in the air, with Charlotte knowing both had things they wanted to say. Her thoughts continued to swirl around aimlessly, torn between rushing straight to Mrs. Gray to tell her everything she knew so far, or to wait to hear the complete story from Tommy’s lips. But would he be willing to tell? Did he remember even, or had the memories been wiped away by the trauma and the pain medicines?

Even if she wished to avoid it forever, she couldn’t. She needed to redo the dressings on his back, and she had learned through experience the way some veterans reacted when their wounds were touched, as if the contact triggered the memories they so desperately tried to bury deep, deep down. And so, she figured she might try while the laudanum still lingered, hoping that the remaining opioids in his system would keep him tame should he lash out.

“Tommy, there’s some wounds left on your back from your…treatment” Calling that medicine left a bitter taste on Charlotte’s mouth, but she couldn’t go and call it torture to his face “I need to bandage them again but I promise to be careful. You need to let me know if anything is bothering you, is that okay?” A part of herself felt she was talking him down like a child, but that had worked before with other veterans in similar situations, and at worse, Thomas would get mad at her, which would be no different than usual.

But much to her surprise, Tommy appeared awfully calm with the information she had just given her, as if the notion of having been poked full of holes didn’t faze him at all. A chill ran down Charlotte’s spine as she began to consider the option that Tommy knew what had been done to him, or worse, that he had willingly submitted to it.

While she gathered her supplies, she noticed some dried blood lingered under her nails from the previous night’s ordeal. The sight of all that blood, gauzes dripping with it, the liquid pooling since the sheets could not soak up any more…She had seen ten times worse over the years in the front, and had faced it all with a sternness that unnerved even her colleagues. Why could she not detach herself this time? Was it because she could not stand the desperate being taken advantage of? Or had she grown attached at last to her insufferable patient?

Suddenly her common sense decided to abandon her. She dropped what she had on her hands and rounded the bed to face Thomas, leaning down until she was eye to eye with him. She had to gauge the truth from him, she needed the story straight so she could put a stop to this.

“Thomas…Thomas do you know what that doctor did to you?” She breathed through her nose once, to keep her voice from faltering “Did he tell you what he did exactly?” She reached to take one of his hands. The previous night the contact had been an act of desperation, and now it bore similar purpose “I don’t know if you remember but last night you woke up and..and you were-”

“Bloodied and in pain? Yes, I remember” The way he said it, with such carelessness as if he were simply saying he woke up thirsty, didn’t sit quite right with Charlotte. Far too calm, even for a man like him. “Doctor Keller warned me that the first couple of nights would be difficult to get by. He told me to rely on the laudanum, but I thought I could toughen it out. I should have listened…the doctor always knows best.” 

His dovish words confirmed her worst fears, and Lottie felt her stomach drop to her knees. He knew. He knew everything that had been done to him. How could he not? Thomas Shelby wouldn’t let a doctor put a single finger on him without knowing first what would be done to him. 

Her grip on his fingers tightened, and she leaned closer, far closer than their faces had even been before “Tommy, what he’s done to you is inhuman. It’s barbaric. I’m sure men who have been tortured have endured less than what you did yesterday. You cannot let him get away with it, or he will do it again to others. I will tell Mrs. Gray to deal with him, we won’t let him get close to you again”

“No” That time, his hand gripped hers, with such strength that made her fingers ache. “You will not do such a thing. You will leave that man alone, and let him do what he must. Understood?” There, in that moment, Charlotte caught a glimpse of what Tommy used to be like, when he was the man that terrorised Small Heath and had half of Birmingham bending the knee like he were some sort of king. A man who had built an empire from scratch and, rumour had it, ruled it like a tyrant. 

“Thomas, look at yourself!” She protested, not allowing herself to be intimidated “Look at what he’s done to you. What treatment can be worth being punctured by needles the length of your hand all down your back? Do you even know what’s been injected?”

“I don’t need to know. All I need it’s for it to work” He had to have lost his mind, That was the only answer as to how Thomas could so blindly trust Keller. That quacksalver had sweet spoken his way into Tommy’s mind, and had used his fear and hopelessness as grounds to plant the seed of hope. He saw Tommy as a drowning man, and appeared before him offering him a raft, which turned out to be only a rotten piece of wood.

“No” Determination laced Lottie’s words “I will not allow this to continue. You have been taken for a fool, Thomas, and it is my duty as your nurse to make you see reason when you can’t for yourself. I know a trickster when I see one, and God knows I’ve seen plenty” She felt anger loaded in her words; but not directed at her patient. Rather directed at Keller, and the dozens of men like him who saw chance for profit in the suffering of the war veterans who had lost everything fighting for their lives “I will not allow that man to set foot here again. I’ll barricade the door myself if I must, and I know Mrs. Gray will agree with me” Charlotte knew that Mrs Gray tried to antagonise her nephew as little as possible, only in extreme circumstances; well, this was definitely one of those.

What happened next took Lottie completely aback. Thomas let go of her hand, but instead gripped her chin, his fingers holding her with such strength that she felt the pain radiate up her jaw. His eyes were pure ice, cold and unforgiving, and he pulled her face down, forcing her to meet his gaze

“You won’t do shit. You will do what you do, what you are paid to do, and nothing more. For everything else, you keep your head down. I believe Polly told you that you would be expected to turn a blind eye for some things; well, this is one of those things. You are not family, you are just a worker, and you do what you are told, eh?”

“But-”

“But nothing” His grip tightened even more, if possible, forcing a whine out of Charlotte’s lips. She had never seen him like this before, not even during her first days in the manor when he did everything in his power to be a nuisance to her and scare her away. He had screamed, he had slammed tables, he had thrown to the wall cups and glasses and trays, but not even once had he laid a hand on her “You do what I say, and nothing more. If you tell Polly, I will fire you on the spot. If you try to interfere with Doctor Keller, things can get very ugly very quickly. Am I clear?”

Charlotte felt fear. For the first time since her arrival to Arrow House, she felt fear. Her heart hammered her ribs and her knees felt weak. This man before her was not the Tommy who had shown weakness just the night before, asking her to keep him company for the night and holding her hand; not even the man who had flipped over a table because she begged him to eat. Lottie recognised in him the first tendrils of the madness proper of someone with nothing left to lose. Tommy saw Keller as his last chance, and he would not let anything or anyone take that chance away. He had become obsessed, and obsession was just a step away from madness.

She nodded at his words, if anything to get Tommy to let go of her face. After a few more seconds of staredown, in which she felt diminished to the size of a mouse, Tommy let her go and laid back down

“Good. Now fuck off. Doctor Keller said that the wounds need to be aired to heal faster, and I want to sleep”

Somehow, Charlotte found enough control of her legs to stand and walk away, tripping on the carpet and crashing against an armchair on her way out. Her heart beat rampantly, the thumping booming on her ears and temples. She held herself until she had closed the double doors behind her, and only then collapsed against the panelled wall, burying her face in her hands. She had been threatened before, plenty of times, by men far too deep in their cups, or their drugs, or in the demons inside their heads. 

But never before by a true threat.

She knew as well as any what the Peaky Blinders did, and she knew they had no qualms on the choosing of their victims. And something in the way Tommy said those words, the intensity of his gaze, the strength of his grip, told Charlotte that he wouldn’t doubt acting upon his words should she cross him. 

She immediately thought of telling Mrs Gray everything. Every last detail, her position in the house be damned; Thomas could fire her but he could not rid himself of his aunt. With that steely determination Charlotte walked down the stairs, her steps resonating in the emptiness of the house. But that lasted only until she reached the landing. Would Mrs Gray side with her? Or would she let her nephew entertain his false hopes, if only to give him a false sense of happiness? Would she find in the older woman an ally, or would she just waste her time and her job entertaining her sense of justice? After all, just like Thomas said, she was just a worker, not family, and she should not speak above her station.

And yet.

Clinging onto her morals as only support, Charlotte set out to find Mrs Gray and tell her exactly what had happened; it might cause her to lose the best job she had held since the war ended, but at least she would leave that house at peace with her morals. But her mission finished as quickly as it began. She asked Frances the whereabouts of Mrs Gray, and a bucket of ice water was dropped upon her head when she was informed that Mrs. Gray had left to tend business in London and would not return for at least a week. Speaking face to face with her, locked in the privacy of the older woman’s office was one thing. But telephone her all the way to London, and possibly interrupt her affairs to basically snitch on her nephew…

A week. She would have to wait a week. And Charlotte hoped her resolve would last that long.

~

She felt out of place, wearing her blouses and skirts after spending the best part of half a year in only her nurse uniforms. Lottie sat on the terrace of a fancy French cafe, enjoying an espresso and a small assortment of pastries. She had a few magazines before her, and pen and paper to finally write down those letters she had due for weeks, but she simply could not concentrate, not on a day like that. The bells of a nearby church rang five times; in the blink of an eye two hours of her life had escaped her, for it was a few minutes past three when she sat on that chair, feeling her knees weak and her hands clammy.

After Tommy’s threat, things had gone down as well as one could expect. Charlotte spent the following week walking on eggshells around him, scared to even look him in the eye. Tommy had been a particularly obedient patient, dutifully drinking all his medicines and eating all his meals like he had never done before, but he had once more condemned Lottie to the silent treatment, not giving her more word than the occasional command to bring him something or, more specifically, to leave him alone. She had anxiously awaited the return of Mrs. Gray, hoping his aunt would help him see reason where she had failed so spectacularly. 

The showdown between them had surely been heard all through the county, the tone of their argument escalating steadily to the point Charlotte could clearly listen to every word they said, even sitting at the foot of the staircase, her elbows resting on her knees and her thumbs pressing on her brow in hopes of alleviating what had become a chronic headache. Perhaps she had committed a calamitous mistake telling everything to Mrs. Gray. Or perhaps her first big mistake had been taking that job.

When Mrs. Gray finally came down to meet her, she looked absolutely defeated; and Lottie knew right away that she had risked it all for nothing.

Thomas had absolutely refused to back down on his treatment, quoting over and over that Keller said it had to get worse before it got better. He had said horrible things about his aunt and Charlotte, about how they wished him ill and had no desire to see him recover his life because it suited them better to keep him chairbound. Mrs. Gray had let the hurtful words sweep past her like breeze, but Charlotte felt them more like stones thrown to her face, even if they were just lies. 

In the end, Lottie had not been fired, her job position saved by Mrs Gray’s resilience to not let go of the first caretaker who had made it past the three month mark. She did however insist that Lottie cash in all the days off she was owed, plus an extra paid day on the house. That gave her exactly a week of holiday, and therefore, would keep her away the day Doctor Keller was scheduled to come for his next appointment. 

When she boarded the car that would take her to the station that Sunday morning, wearing her navy blue coat and her prettiest hat, a part of her wondered if she should leave for good; mail in her resignation and have someone else pick up the rest of her belongings. She could not envision what future she could have there now, as her relationship with Tommy had surely been permanently and irreparably damaged by their rift. He would never trust her completely again, and she couldn’t stand by idly and watch him pay himself into an early, horrific death.

Not wishing to spend her week in good old Birmingham, Lottie decided her salary allowed her to take her time off in London. She found lodging on a small bed and breakfast near Camden, and put her time to good use, hoping to keep herself distracted. She got new books to read, dined in a different place each night, and finally gave her wardrobe a much overdue refresh. But she could never shake off the knowledge that, each day that passed, was a day closer to Doctor Keller returning to Tommy’s side. It remained a perpetual nagging feeling on the back of her mind. She could not go a single day without something reminding her of it.

Charlotte felt her blood boil whenever she thought about how many men had been tricked before Thomas. Perhaps if she found one or two who had undergone the same treatment, with obviously less than satisfactory results, they could help her convince Tommy to abandon before it was too late. Hoping against hope, she set aside money to post a few small, as inconspicuous as possible advertisements, avoiding directly mentioning the doctor by name. At worst, it would all end in a few wasted coins and nothing else. 

Saturday she spent in a continuous fright, obsessively checking the hour everywhere she could. By 3 pm, she knew that awful man and his equally awful aids would be crossing the threshold. By 6, she figured they would be done cleaning up whatever gruesome mess they had left behind, with Tommy tucked in bed, absolutely knocked out by double and triple doses of opioids. 

She couldn’t find sleep that night, tossing and turning until the blankets were tangled in her legs. Even through emotional exhaustion her mind refused to quiet down. Was Tommy sleeping well? Was he comfortable? Would he wake again in the dead of the night in agony and alone, with no one to wipe his brow or change the sheets? Charlotte tried and failed again and again to force the thoughts out of her mind, but they refused to budge; even if she chastised herself for caring so deeply, she couldn’t help herself.

Sunday she spent no better, and after a short walk she decided to return to her room and give herself a lazy day, rearranging her suitcase and indulging in one of her new books alongside some cookies she bought nearby. She wasn’t expected back on the manor until Tuesday morning, yet she kept all her belongings packed and ready to go fleeing out the door.

After a humble dinner in a nearby pub, Lottie returned to her lodgings, deciding to indulge herself with a long bath, taking advantage of having a private bathroom. But just as she had crossed the entrance, a bellboy came to meet her, telling her there was a call for her on the front desk. 

Puzzled, Lottie followed the boy, wondering who could be calling her at that hour, since no one knew her whereabouts. Trepidation creeping up her spine, she picked the apparatus, trying to ignore the uncomfortable fluttering in her gut

“Hello?”

“Charlotte” Mrs Gray's voice resounded from the other side. Despite the familiarity, the knowledge that it was her calling didn’t reassure her one bit. A woman like her didn’t call at that hour to talk about the weather

“Mrs Gray, is everything okay?” She didn’t even bother to ask why or how she had Charlotte’s current address. They knew everything about everyone; they probably knew more about Charlotte than she herself did.

“No, things are not okay. Doctor Keller came yesterday; only God knows what he did, but Tommy didn’t wake up until today after midday, and he didn’t let me or any of the maids touch him or feed him”

Charlotte sighed, sensing immediately where the conversation was heading “Mrs. Gray, if you think that I can get past his thick head-”

“No” The older woman cut short “I don’t think you can, and that’s not why I called. Around dinner I went to check on him, try to get him to eat. Force feed him if I must. And I found him” Charlotte could hear her sigh slowly “I found him unconscious. So pale he was grey, laying in a pool of sweat. He had vomited too, I think. Couldn’t even wake him with a slap to the back”

Charlotte’s eyes widened, and her heart raced at the information she received, immediately noticing how bad the situation had turned “Mrs Gray, that is very serious. He needs to be seen by a doctor! Did you-”

“I called the ambulance. They’ve taken him right away. It’s the hospital I’m calling from. The doctor says he has an infection and that it’s reaching his blood”

Charlotte swallowed. Infections of the blood never had a good prognosis in the field, not even in the hospitals. Yet she clung to false hope when she asked her next question

“Did he…did he say it was bad?”

The pause that followed seemed to stretch for days, but that wasn’t half as bad as hearing Mrs. Gray voice crack for the first time

“They say he’s likely to die”

[peakyltd]

New Endings Masterlist

Summary: When Tommy bumps into the woman he thought he'd never see again, he couldn't let her go once more. She lights something within him that he thought was lost and decides to help her in times of need. While she tries to cut ties with the life she’s living, she's forced to commit the ultimate betrayal.

❖ - Part 1

❖ - Part 2

❖ - Part 3

❖ - Part 4

❖ - Part 5

❖ - Part 6

❖ - Part 7

❖ - Part 8 - Coming soon

Please check the warnings of each chapter before reading.

[runnning-outof-time]

Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 20)

Previous Part

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Plans of taking over the tracks get thwarted quickly for the Shelbys as trouble makes its way into Birmingham. Tommy tells (Y/N) to stay away, but of course she can't for too long. Everything gets laid out on the table after a scary experience shakes the both of them.

Warnings: drinking, series typical violence, canon death, injury, blood

Word Count: 4426

A/N: here it is everyone…the final chapter of Birmimgham! Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck with this story…through the break and the drawn out postings. I finished it for you. I’d love to know what you think of how it ended (since I went with the winner of the poll; which was giving a ending that felt finished). Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: the italicized dialogue is taken from the show. I’d also like to give a special thanks to @alicent-targaryen for making the amazing gifsets that helped me write this chapter so quickly — they gave me so much inspiration! :) also if you’d ever like to know what the original ending for this was…feel free to reach out to me…if I get enough interest, I may just write it as a short.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

The story is finished! — I hope you enjoyed!

"Is Tommy here, or has he left already?" (Y/N) asked Polly after she entered the Watery Lane home. She found the older woman working on cleaning the mantle in the living room, and she couldn't stop herself from blurting the question out.

"He should still be upstairs," Polly answered, not even bothering to turn and properly greet (Y/N). It seemed as though she was deep into working on something.

"Can I go up?" (Y/N) asked hesitantly, not wanting to cross any lines.

Her question made Polly turn and look at her. The older woman quirked an eyebrow, probably wondering why the question was even being asked. "If you wish to. His door is at the end of the hall," she answered (Y/N)'s question. (Y/N) nodded, saying a quick thank you before she made her way to the stairs of the home.

She walked down the hall, stopping at the last door and taking a pause before she knocked on it. "Come," his voice came from inside the room, making her twist the knob and open the door. She saw him standing at the dresser, finishing up shaving.

"Hi, Tommy," she said softly, making him stop what he was doing and turn to face her.

"It's early, (Y/N)," he commented, surprised by her presence.

"I know, but I was unable to stay away...ever since you told me today would be the day; my mind won't stop," she explained her reason for being there. She'd been worried about everything that would happen today and couldn't stop herself from going to see Tommy before he left for the races.

Tommy finished up what he was doing, grabbing a rag so that he could wipe his face off before he then gave his attention to (Y/N). He could see the slight bit of worry behind her eyes, and he hated that it was there. For a moment he felt bad that he'd been the one to create it, but worry or not, he knew that she understood what had to be done.

"When will you go?" she asked him, breaking the silence that had fallen in the room.

"In a few hours," he gave a vague estimation, "I need to touch base with my brothers. There'll be a family meeting at half ten; there we'll discuss what will be done. I'd say that we'll be leaving shortly after that," he explained what had been on his list to accomplish. "You can come to the meeting, if you'd like," he then extended an invitation.

"I'll come," (Y/N) nodded, making her decision rather quickly. She figured that hearing his plan in full might serve to give her some solace.

"Good," Tommy nodded, a ghost of a smile teetering on his lips, "we'll be set after this, (Y/N)," he said to her then, his words riddled with confidence. (Y/N) smiled upon hearing it. She loved how self-assured he was; it was almost contagious.

"I'm worried," she said then, retreating back to her own way of thinking. She was itching to reach out and take hold of him from the second she'd walked in, but she didn't know if that would be received well or not. The last thing she wanted was him upset with her as he embarked on this big scheme.

"You shouldn't be," he assured her, "we've got the Lees on our side thanks to John and Esme, and Kimber will think that we're going to fight that family instead of taking to the pitches. He won't expect what'll actually happen," he gave her the rundown of his plan, still holding a great deal of confidence in it. Things were going to go his way today; he could already feel it.

"Ok," (Y/N) nodded along, trying to switch her thinking for his, "and I'll stay here...with Pol to make sure everything runs well on this end," she addressed her part in the plan.

"Good," Tommy nodded. He paused then, pulling his timepiece out so that he could check it. "Love, I should go now," he said as he slipped the watch back into its pocket.

"Ok," she repeated what she'd just said, "I just wanted to see you before you left."

"Come to the meeting," he said to her, a slight smile on his face.

"I will," she assured him, smiling also as she nodded her head.

"Come on," he said then, moving forward and placing his hand to the small of her back as he led her out of the bedroom and over to the stairs. She descended them first with him following behind. "I'll see you at half ten," he told her, walking to the door as she decided she'd stay back and see if Polly needed any help before then. It wouldn't be long until the time for the meeting came anyway; she might as well stick around.

Polly did in fact need help with minor things, and the women quickly got busy with them, passing the time between the meeting like (Y/N) hoped they would. It wasn't long until everyone was gathered in the empty betting shop; all eyes focused on Tommy as he explained the plan (Y/N) had got a preview of in full detail.

"Any other questions?" Tommy asked once he was finished explaining the plans. He looked around the room, waiting for anyone to speak up.

"Yes," it was Polly who answered as she made her way to the door that separated the betting floor from the home, "does anyone object if I bring a newcomer to the meeting?" she asked, looking around the room. Silence came in response, making her move over to the door so that she could open it slightly and whisper "come on," to whoever it was on the other side. She then opened the door wider to show Ada, who had Karl in her arms. "I'd like to introduce the newest member of the Shelby clan," she announced, a smile on her face.

(Y/N)'s cheeks were hurting from the wideness of her smile as her friend took a step further into the room. It was so good to see her back with her family again. Arthur was the one to start the clapping, and soon the room was filled with applause as Ada walked into the room. She stopped where (Y/N) was standing and gave her a smile, to which (Y/N) sent one of her own back.

"Welcome home, Ada," Tommy said to his sister, a smile forming on his lips. It warmed (Y/N)'s heart to see the progress being made.

She then explained the baby's name, earning some laughs from the group that was gathered around her. Arthur then went over to see the baby, taking him from Ada's arms and placing his peaked cap on top of his head. (Y/N) laughed along with the rest of the group as John poked fun at his older brother. Ada sent (Y/N) a smile before Tommy addressed her, asking if he was forgiven. (Y/N) stayed behind and watched Ada move over to him, telling him he was. She felt her heart swell as they shared a hug.

"It's so good to see you back with your family," (Y/N) said to Ada once she'd come back to her side. Tommy and the other men had gotten together to talk finer details of what would be going down. (Y/N) decided to stay with the women instead of learning more of the plan, feeling more comfortable watching Esme make exaggerated faces at the baby than hearing about how they were going to take over the races.

—

After things were finished at the shop, Tommy and the men decided to go to the Garrison to have a drink before they hit the road for the races. (Y/N) offered to join and help out, knowing that things would go smoother if there was another set of hands - hands that knew what they were doing - behind the bar pouring drinks.

Things were going well. (Y/N) was pouring with Tommy and the two had slipped into a comfortable routine. She wasn't going to lie, she quite enjoyed working in these close quarters with him. All was well...until it wasn't.

Arthur entered the Garrison with Jeremiah trailing close behind him. Both men were walking like they were on a mission. "Tommy," Arthur called for his brother, his gruff voice making just about all of the celebrations stop. "I need to talk to you," he said, his seriousness holding as he nodded his head to the stockroom that was behind the bar. Tommy glanced at (Y/N), who was becoming more confused by the second, before he followed his brother and friend into the room.

They were only gone for a matter of seconds before coming back out. "(Y/N)..." he started, coming right over to her, a sense of urgency in his movements and vocal tone. "(Y/N), I need you to leave now, ok?" he said to her, his eyes wide as he spoke; a tell-tale sign that he was now under pressure and needed things to be done timely and in a certain way.

"Wha...why?" she asked, her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Billy Kimber and his men are coming this way," he told her, "I need you to stay clear of here, you understand me?" he searched her eyes then, his hands blindly searching for hers. It didn't take much to find them, and when he did, he squeezed them for added effect, "stay away from here," he told her again.

"Ok. Ok, I will," she nodded her head, sensing his urgency and falling in line with it, "I'll go and be with Pol and Ada, and I'll wait there for you," she then told him where he could find her.

"Good," Tommy nodded lightly, feeling relieved that she wasn't going to be mixed up in the middle of this developing plan. He was going to need to fight Kimber on his own turf now. It was something he could do, but he wanted to make sure that the people he cared for the most were out of harm's way. "Go on," he said then, dropping her hands so that he could let her leave.

(Y/N)'s heart dropped slightly at the abrupt loss of warmth his hands were giving her, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it as she was following his orders, exiting the Garrison at a hasty speed so that she could get to Watery Lane before all hell broke loose.

Tommy watched her as she went, keeping his eyes on her until she was out of his sight before he focused on the men that had gathered in front of him, waiting for their leader to give them direction.

—

(Y/N) was out of breath when she finally got to Watery Lane. She entered the house promptly, hoping that either one, or both, of the women that she was looking for would be present. To her relief, they both were sitting in the living room.

"Where have you run from?" Polly questioned her, a look of confusion forming on her face.

"I...I just came...Tommy told me to..." she stammered out, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath, hoping that doing so would allow her to get out a complete sentence.

"Come, sit down, love," Polly coaxed her over to the open chair and (Y/N) listened, moving over to sit and take a few more calming breaths. "Tell us when you're ready," she said to the younger woman, both her and Ada waiting intently for the news it seemed she had.

"I ran from the Garrison. The plans have changed...Billy Kimber's on his way here to make a stand. Tommy told me to stay away from the tavern. He thinks that it's going to happen there," (Y/N) explained once her breathing was normal again.

"Bloody hell," Polly hissed, exhaling a sigh as she heard the news, "they're going to get themselves killed."

"I don't know any of the finer details...I just know that they're going to fight them here now," (Y/N) stated, trying to push down the worry that was bubbling up inside of her.

"I've got to go," Ada finally spoke in the midst of her rushing to stand from the couch.

(Y/N)'s brows furrowed as she watched her friend move around the room, grabbing the carriage she'd brought with her so that she could transfer a sleeping Karl into it. "Ada, wait...what are you doing?" she asked, confusion present in her tone.

"I'm going to go make these bloody men see sense," Ada spoke through gritted teeth, making it apparent that anger and frustration were coursing through her. She moved over to the archway that led to the door before stopping and looking at the women, "because I know the finer details of the day, and I refuse to stand by and let this happen," she didn't wait for a response to her pointed statement after uttering it, instead turning and walking through the archway and out the door.

"What does she mean?" (Y/N) asked Polly as soon as the door shut. She was so confused right now. Polly just looked defeated.

"Freddie was to be broken out of his transport earlier today...he was going to come home and help with the effort at the races, and this was all to be done in accordance to Tommy's plan," Polly filled (Y/N) in on what Ada was getting at.

(Y/N) sighed as she heard what the older woman had to say. "She's going to go and confront them, isn't she?" she asked in a blank tone.

"She very well may," Polly didn't give a straightforward answer. Ada was a Shelby after all...Shelbys did what they wanted and rarely cared about the dangers that stood in their way.

(Y/N) knew this all too well. Ada was going to go and confront these two gangs of men. She stood from the chair with an exasperated sigh. Tommy's voice echoed in her mind as she stood; warning her not to go anywhere near the Garrison. She pushed it back, knowing that that was exactly where her friend was going. "I'm going to go and try to stop her, Pol," she informed the other woman as she walked towards the archway.

"Be careful, (Y/N)," Polly offered some words of advice, making (Y/N) nod before she walked through the archway and out of the Watery Lane home.

—

"I want you all to look at me!" (Y/N) heard Ada's voice echo through the empty streets as she ran as fast as she could to the Garrison. Upon turning the corner, she saw two lines of men, the groups facing each other. Ada was smack-dab in the middle, addressing both lines as they had their guns pointed at each other. She's going to get herself killed! (Y/N) thought to herself as she picked up her pace. "Who will be wearing black for you? Think about them. Think about them right now...and fight if you want to, but that baby ain't moving anywhere, and neither am I," she continued, her voice raw and full of emotion.

"Ada!" (Y/N) called to her friend as she made her way through the line of men whom she recognized to be the Peaky Blinders. "Ada, you can't be doing this!" she exclaimed, her eyes frantic as she rushed out into the middle of the standoff in hopes to get her friend to see some sense. "This isn't your war to get into the middle of. This isn't the place for you, or for your baby," she insisted, her eyes locked onto the other woman's as she tried to get her out of the middle of it all.

"I won't move, (Y/N)," Ada stayed persistent.

"If not for your own safety, do it for Karl," (Y/N) didn't back down, "this isn't your war to try to stop," she repeated her previous statement, trying to keep her voice steady as adrenaline started to fill her. She tried so hard not to think of what was standing on either side of her at the moment, putting her sole focus on her friend. "Come on...move for Karl," she said again, her voice softer now as she nodded to the carriage that was off to the side. They held each other's gaze before Ada just barely nodded her head. (Y/N) saw it though, and she moved Ada off to the side, hyper-aware of all of the eyes following her.

"She's right you know..." Billy Kimber was the first to speak up once the women were off to the side, "why should all you men die?" he asked the men surrounding him before looking forward, "it should just be them who've caused it," he accentuated his statement by brandishing his weapon and firing it twice.

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut and spun to shield both Ada and the carriage as best she could as pandemonium broke out in the street. Several men were screaming and Karl's cries had intensified before there was one more gunshot.

Tommy was the next person to speak. "Enough!" he yelled, causing everything to halt at once. (Y/N), even though her eyes were still closed, felt relieved that he was still speaking, because that meant he was still alive. "Kimber and me fought this battle one on one. It's over. Go home to your families!" he addressed the men standing across from him.

Nothing else was said as the sound of footsteps rang out, signaling to (Y/N) that people were walking away. She heard Tommy mumble something to someone, and more footsteps were heard then. She stayed by Ada and Karl, unable to really move as she took some steadying breaths.

"Ada..." a man's voice came from the women's left.

"Freddie," Ada breathed, moving from the carriage to go to the man who had approached them.

"Don't scare us like that," he said to her, allowing her to fall into his arms and cling to him. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of her head as he held her tight against him.

(Y/N) smiled softly as she watched them reunite, feeling the emotion radiating off of them. She finally looked back at the street then, seeing that everyone else had cleared off of it. Worried about the rest of the men - especially one in particular - she left the couple's side and hurried to the doors of the Garrison.

She was met with agonizing screams as she opened the doors, and immediately realized that they were coming from Tommy. Hearing them made her heart drop to her stomach. Had he been shot? she wondered, worry immediately filling her body.

Arthur was the one to notice her presence amidst trying to help get the bullet out of his brother's shoulder, "go and wait in the stockroom, love, you don't want to be seein' this," he told her and she nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat and not asking any questions before she made a b-line to the stockroom behind the bar.

She waited there as time passed painstakingly slowly. Hearing Tommy scream out in pain was breaking her heart. She wished there was something, anything, she could do to help.

Then everything became quiet again. She heard some talking, but it was muffled by the door that she'd closed. She decided to stay in the room even though it seemed that the worst of it was over. A few more minutes passed before the door opened to reveal Tommy.

(Y/N) didn't wait for another second. She was walking over to him the second she saw him, her hands raising so that she could take his cheeks into them and bring his lips to hers. She kissed him passionately and with everything she had in her. Tommy's hands found the sides of her waist so that he could hold her against him, prolonging the kiss...as if she was going to pull away anyway.

"What was that for?" he breathed out once they'd pulled away.

"For scaring me," she answered him, an involuntary shudder coursing through her as she let her eyes drop to the bloody shirt that he was wearing. He's ok...he's standing in front of you, she told herself, her eyes finding his again.

Tommy chuckled at her statement, squeezing her waist slightly before he leaned in and kissed her again. (Y/N) happily accepted it, slipping her hands from his cheeks to the back of his neck as she reveled in the feeling of their lips moving together seamlessly. Nothing ever felt this good.

"And that was for?" she asked once she pulled away, breathless this time. She couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face as she looked at him again.

"An apology for scaring you," he told her, his words making her tip her head back slightly as she let out a laugh.

His eyes were still on her when she looked at him again. His gaze made butterflies dance around in her stomach, and she couldn't help but encircle her arms around his neck so that she could hug him; her head resting against the uninjured side of his chest as she did so. She brought one of her hands down from the back of his neck to gently lift his jacket where the blood was present on his shirt. She couldn't see much, but she still had to ask: "you're ok, are you?" Her voice was much softer now, worry creeping back after the excitement of the kisses faded.

"I'm fine, love," he answered her, his voice coming out in a similar tone. "Come on...have a drink with me," he said then, loosening his hold on her waist. She got the message, dropping her hands from his neck so that he could step away and lead her out of the stockroom and back into the bar area. "Under the bar should be a bottle of champagne..." he started off as he walked around to the opposite side of the bar so that he could stand across from her.

"Going for fancy today, are we?" (Y/N) couldn't help but grin as she grabbed the unopened bottle from one of the lower shelves.

"Figured we should...since we're celebrating," Tommy grinned right back at her, watching as she set the bottle on the bartop before going to grab two glasses. As she did that, he turned and rested his back against the bar, taking some of the weight off of his feet. He let out a sigh as he tipped his head back, reveling in a moment of peace after so much chaos.

"Is everything ok?" (Y/N) asked after she turned around and found him.

"Yeah," he breathed, pushing himself off of the bar and turning around to stand straight and face her again, nodding his head then for extra effect. (Y/N) nodded back at him before she uncorked the bottle and worked on pouring it into both of the cups. She tried her best not to mess up under his gaze. She smiled at him once she was finished, handing him a glass before she picked her own up and took a sip from it. "How is it?" he asked, his eyes not leaving hers.

"It's good," (Y/N) answered with a nod and a soft smile.

"You know..." he began then, pausing a moment before continuing, "someone I trust once told me, and I believe they told me here; in this very spot...that people fall for people that they know; people that they've been around and feel comfortable with..." he trailed off, and (Y/N) felt her throat go dry. Those words sounded all too familiar...like the words that she'd told him when he was grappling with Ada being with Freddie. He took a deep breath before continuing, "I want you to help me, (Y/N). With the business, the family, with the whole fucking thing. I want you, no, I need you in my life."

"Tommy this is, wow..." she couldn't finish her sentence, taken back by what he'd just proclaimed. All of the dancing around her feelings for him had led to this...the moment she'd been secretly hoping for for so long. But now that it was here, she was fumbling. "I'm not sure of what to say..." she blubbered out, her nervousness shining clear in her words. She'd never wanted something more in her life...why had she chosen this moment to be awkward?!

"Yes would be a good thing to say," he said, cracking a grin as he noticed her trying to fight back her nervousness, "it'd be a great thing to say, actually."

"Then yes," she breathed, a smile breaking onto her face.

"Then yes," he repeated what she'd said, smiling also as he leaned across the bar to kiss her. She caught his chin, holding him there and making the kiss longer than he intended...not that he was complaining.

"I think we'd ought to leave," (Y/N) said after they'd pulled away from each other, "we've had enough excitement for one day...you should get home," she suggested.

"And what will you do?" he asked her, wondering if they'd now be parting ways after all that just happened. He really didn't want that to be the case.

"I thought that maybe I'd come with you...someone's got to make sure that you keep clean bandages on your shoulder," she answered him, unable to stop the smile from creeping onto her lips.

Tommy caught that, knowing what else she could be thinking that would make such a smile form on her face. "I like the sound of that," he said to her, also grinning before she walked around the bar to come to his side.

The day had truly been won. Not only had Tommy defeated Billy Kimber, but he'd finally let (Y/N) know how he felt about her...and to his relief, she'd felt the same about him.

And for (Y/N)...she had a feeling that she wasn't leaving Birmingham any time soon. That was something she was perfectly ok with.

Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @cilliansangel @shaddixlife @tracysnook

SERIES MASTERLIST

[brummiereader]

Binding Love (Part One/ Dark!Tommy)

Summary: After a morning of negotiations between lawyers, the day goes wasted when Tommy takes it upon himself to interfere in court proceedings. With your muddled intentions made clear, and your husband's declarations of love forcefully made known, a blazing row erupts between you both in the bustling streets of Birmingham. Will you ever be free from your husband's restraints? Do you even want to be?

Warnings: Dark!Tommy, language, violence, psychological mind games, controlling behaviour, toxic relationship, manipulative behaviour, psychological abuse, mutual pining, angst.

Word Count: 5K

Authors Note: For the purpose of depicting the manipulative behaviour of Tommy in the first part of this chapter, I've taken it upon myself to have radios become a common feature in cars before they were. We'll pick back up from the first scene again in the last chapter. The song playing on the car radio is called "Release Me" by Engelbert Humperdinck.

[Masterlist] [Trailer] [Main Masterlist]

" Please release me, let me go. For I don't love you, anymore..." the sound of your husband's humming voice accompanied by the taunting song and a sharp turn of the cars rumbling wheels on the gritted ground, jolted you from the daze your tired body had drifted into.

"Tommy...Tommy!" you began to frantically cry into the darkness, faced once again with the horrors sleep had dulled for you. A slither of light beaming through a crack in the rear headlights, the salty air of sand and kelp your only comfort to stop your racing heart from plunging you into complete obscurity.

"Tommy please! I'm...I'm sorry! I was scared...you were scaring me!" Your stifled breath wept with desperation as you begged for mercy before panic took over, and you succumbed to the tight enclosure.

Losing track of the countless halting stops, the speeding turns as Tommy's foot pressed down onto the pedal with determination. You had given up on trying to route your husband's destination and fallen into a weary haze of slumber. But with Tommy's clear attempt to awaken you, and bless his lonely thoughts with the beauty of your strangled cries, he had also awoken the searing panic within you once again.

How many hours had it been...fuck, how many hours had it been?! How much air was left?!, your frightened mind scrambled to make sense of the amount of time that had passed through the music loudly confusing any tangible answer you could come to.

" I can't breathe...Oh my god, I...I can't breathe!" your chest heaved in a frenzy, relenting to the alarming situation you had distanced yourself from as your hands searched to ground your body before you let what was left of your sanity slip into the terror your husband was hellbent on inflicting on you.

" Tommy! I...I can't breathe!" your hand flew to your chest as adrenaline coursed through the blood pumping furiously throughout your body. Every muscle reacting in a torturous plea for you to flee the inescapable.

" Maybe you should stop screaming, sweetheart" Tommy's voice rose above the music as a wicked smirk etched on the corner of his curling lips. His arm resting casually on the open window with a lit cigarette perched between his fingers as one would on a leisurely Sunday drive in the country.

" You bastard!" you snapped forgetting yourself, throwing the warranted insult his way as a low chuckle obnoxiously echoed back to you in response.

" And to think I put a cushion in there for you" he teased, if only to spur on the enticing game of cat and mouse he had become the sole player of.

" Don't say I don't do anything nice for you, eh?" a slither of irritation seethed at the end of his tongue for the chaos he blamed you for. For the cascade of selfish decisions you had made he blamed on the day's events.

How could you have done this to him, after all...no. After everything he'd lovingly done for you to keep you away from those that wanted to ruin what you shared.

" I hate you...I fucking hate you! I never loved you Tommy, just like your fucking song! I don't love you! Are you listening?! " your screams continued as you thrashed your limbs against the walls. Desperately trying to garner a reaction out of him as your lungs heaved for the stolen air, panic had snatched from them.

And a reaction you got, but one you'd be thankful to not have witnessed when Tommy shifted in his seat, loosening the collar of his shirt from the restricting pang of anger bobbing in his throat. His jaw clenching into a grating sound of teeth grinding on top of one another as the blue of his eyes eclipsed with a foreboding shade of coal at the lies you had spoken to scorch him. Lies he knew were only said to fool yourself into believing, rather than succumbing to the truth that your doting husband was, and always would be, the only man you would ever love.

You were just...tired. A knock to the head would make anyone confused, Tommy told the distasteful burn that had settled on his chest as the calloused pads of his fingers turned the volume up to drown out any more unwarranted admissions that would have him act out on the sting you had pierced him with.

"I'm warning you, eh? You hear me? One more fucking word Y/N, I dare you!" Tommy's voice loudly ordered with a shuddering tone of control as his eyes narrowed in on the road in front of him. His leather gloves snapping with a crisp creak under his curling fingers as they tightly grasped around the steering wheel. Tethering on the idea of stopping the car to an abrupt halt and dealing with you by hand.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, your trembling bottom lip steadied itself from any further statements you'd be a fool to make as the toying melody lulled your weeping body back into hopelessness. Your eyes drifting to the narrow rays of the sun fading with each passing minute.

Hovering your fingers over the dusting of light, you began to quietly mouth the tormenting lyrics of the song Tommy had chosen to accompany your long drive into the unknown as you let your body sink into itself.

Feeling a strangled cry build in your throat, one last frustrated thrash of your elbow against the side of the car boot had a flash of light searing into the darkness, causing your head to turn from the glaring brightness of the outside world now beaming into your enclosure.

" Shit, shit..." your head turned in a panic to see the back headlight gone, your pent-up hopelessness now your saviour.

Whipping your head back to the sound of your husband's toying lips whistling in tune to the song, your heart pounded rapidly against your chest as you waited for him to acknowledge his taillight skimming across the road. But when no reaction came, you tempted fate and slipped your arm through the open gap, frantically waving your hand in hopes somebody would see.

Hearing the rumbling sound of a car approaching, you pushed your arm further through the shards of glass as you desperately tried to alert its drivers' attention.

" No, no, no..." you cried, pulling away to see the car disappear into the fading sun, hurtling all despair back to you in a strangled muffle of cries.

Readying yourself for the burning sting once again, you pushed your bloody hand back into the sharp teeth of your only escape, forcing it through until your shoulder met the door of your prison one last time.

And that's when you felt it. The lock that had kept you captive for countless hours in the dark.

In for a penny, in for a..., your teeth bit down onto your wobbling bottom lip, dried with a layer of blood from the dripping gash on your forehead.

Steadying your heavy breaths from backing out, you pushed your thumb down onto the chrome button, committing to your escape and the horrors you would face if your husband caught you.

With a subtle click, the door effortlessly popped open as you pulled yourself up with shaky hands, throwing the weight of your body out onto the road without care to any car approaching or injury you'd likely sustain as Tommy's foot slammed on the breaks to a screeching halt.

" Now just where do you think you're going..." Tommy's eyes narrowed, the rolled cylinder of tobacco resting between his plump lips puffing a cloud of smoke with each quiet breathy observation as he flicked the wing mirror with his finger to see the reflection of you scrambling to your feet.

" Help! Somebody!" You screamed in horror as you ran barefoot along the gritted ground. Only a thin slip covering your modesty, Tommy hadn't given you a chance to conceal with his unexpected appearance that morning.

"Shit" Tommy huffed throwing the door open, discarding the burnt cigarette from his mouth as he bolted after your sprinting feet.

" C'mon darling, don't make a scene!" you heard his gravelly voice call after you as you dared to look back to see him chasing towards you with a malicious smile of amusement toying on the corners of his lips.

With no sign of life but the two of you on the long winding road, you took your chances in the bushy hedgerow, heading down the dangerous coastal path with screams of terror as Tommy stayed hot on your heels behind you.

But your frantic escape and pleas for help would go unheard among the thrashing sound of waves, leaving only the echos of the melody coming from Tommy's abandoned car in the middle of the lone country road, and the ticking of its blinkers counting the moments down until he caught you.

"Please release me, let me go. For I don't love you anymore. To waste our lives would be a sin..."

One month earlier...

"Shit, I'm sorry. I don't..I don't have any change" your cheeks reddened with embarrassment as your fingers fumbled with the small, empty purse. Not a single shilling nestled within its velvety padding. Not a single penny to your name.

"My husband wi..." you stopped yourself, feeling a fool to have even referred to him as such, that you were going to rely on him to settle your fare, knowing full well he'd find enjoyment paying on your behalf with the proceedings set to take place in a moment's time.

" S'alright, Mrs Shelby. On the house" the taxi driver nodded to you in the rear mirror with a bushy bearded smile. For he was not foolish enough to follow in suit with your slipping tongue and make the wife of the leader of the Peaky Blinders pay a sum so trivial it could see him costing a finger his profession deemed vital.

" Thank you, Jeffery. But after today I'll no longer be, Mrs Shelby" you stated, opening the car door to a gust of autumn air nipping at your cheeks, your heels stepping onto the cobbled street, that paved your way to the grand building where a judge would decide on your future.

Strutting into the towering structure, you held your head high as your heels loudly echoed along the marble floors. But as you pushed through the heavy court doors, your mustered confidence took a sudden blow when the room turned to face you and the man that would reside over your divorce proceedings, scolded you like a child in front of a class of their peers.

" You're late, Mrs Shelby" he looked past the rims of his glasses as your pace slowed in a desperate attempt to muffle your poor choice of shoes and the unwarranted attention it garnered.

"I'm sorry your honor" you apologised, shamed in front of everyone as you hurried past the set of blue eyes following your every step. His piercing stare roaming over your body from head to toe, to every curve your fitted dress accentuated. His head leaning into your musky perfume filled with notes of amber and vanilla that drifted past him in a gentle greeting as you took your seat next to your solicitor. The intoxicating smell enough to cause a breathy exhale of repressed want from his throat. Tommy.

Feeling the intent stare of your husband boring into your heated cheek, you whipped your head up from the documents between your painted nails to see Tommy leant back in his chair, admiring your choice of outfit from between the men of law that separated you. Why did he have to look at you that way? He was doing it on fucking purpose.

Snapping your eyes away, a screeching sound of a chair scraped along the floor, followed by the heavy footsteps of your husband approaching.

" Darling" he greeted, taking the opportunity to approach you and the tray of refreshments stood feet from your desk as the fumbling Judge lay out your weighty file in front of him with the help of his assistant.

"Tommy" you replied, eyes fixed on the documents in front of you, trying your upmost to shield yourself from the pull of his daily dose of sweet-talking.

Scoffing a chuckle, Tommy raised the glass tumbler of water to his grinning lips. Amused by the cold shoulder you were adamant on giving him.

"Quite the entrance. Was that little show all for me..." You suddenly felt the heat of his body next to you, his distinct cologne of tobacco intertwined with whiskey and soot filling your senses. "...eh?" he perched himself on the edge of your desk as he leant into your ear, his fiery breath sending a ripple of goosebumps down your neck as the beginnings of a cocky smile curled against your skin.

" No" you firmly stated, feeling the remaining surges of embarrassment making laps in your stomach as you raised your eyes to see the smug smirk of enjoyment plastered across his face. Did you do it for him? Were you still seeking his attention, his approval after all this time, after everything that had happened?

" You sure, sweetheart?" his brows knitted together, mischief twinkling in the corners of his creased eyes as his hand reached under the table, roaming under your dress until his fingers met the clasps of your garter and unclipped one.

"Hmm, such a tease" he chuckled to himself, feeling the sting of your hand slapping his fingers away. Toying with your emotions and the agreed boundaries he was unwilling to follow once again.

Whether it be to purposely play with you or sheer refusal to admit he was the one that had pushed you to this point. Tommy didn't care. For your husband would never abide by anyone, let alone follow life's rules that weren't from the beat of his own drum.

" Be seated everyone" the Judge ordered, bringing your racing heart down to a manageable speed as Tommy scooted off the wooden table onto two feet, adjusting his suit before reluctantly playing along to the six-month temper tantrum he believed you was having.

As the dreary morning of papers being sent back and forth between lawyers, of decisions over the custody of your shared child continued. Tommy made it his sole mission to find an issue with every suggestion raised. Addressing only you throughout the entire ordeal as his generously paid lawyer, buried his head in his hands with frustration.

" Mr Shelby" the Judge's voice rose above Tommy's interruptions as he wiped the bead of sweat that had settled on his temple. A huff of defeat in response to the insult that he, a man of his position, couldn't keep his courtroom and its sole troublemaker under control.

" Two Sundays out of the month, Y/N? I won't allow it, understood? Sunday is family time and we'll spend it together, whether you like it or not" Tommy rolled his shoulders, straightening the lapels of his suit jacket as the Judge desperately tried to bring order to the room.

"Why don't we go back home and end this fucking circus, eh? I'll make love to you, we'll take Elsie out for an afternoon with the horses..." Tommy trailed off into a tangent of things he'd rather be doing than sitting in the stuffy room he was currently forced to be in with a wigged man telling him what he could and couldn't do with his family.

"Mr Shelby, I beseech you" the Judge removed his glasses, peering at your husband's lawyer to keep control of his client.

" You really want to do this, eh? To our daughter? Y/N? Y/N?!" the last of Tommy's patience quickly evaporated as you snapped your head away from his bellowing voice to the window beside you, tears spilling over your cheeks.

" Mr Shelby!" The magistrate slammed his hammer down onto its wooden pillow as an exasperated sigh at the tiresome morning loudly left his throat.

Ignoring the resonating boom of the wooden hammer, Tommy rested his arm on the back of his lawyer's chair as he leaned in. Whispering his orders into his ear as his scorching stare stayed fixed on you.

Daring to challenge the piercing pair of eyes burning into you, you raised your head as your husband's lawyer approached the bench with his orders.

Gaze drifting up from his clenched fists, you were met with nothing but anger. Anger at your refusal to bring an end to the whole charade, for your unwillingness to let him back into your martial bed over a paddy he believed would fizzle out within a week's time. How had things gotten to this point? Or more precisely, what had your dear husband done to push you to this point?

" Proceedings are postponed until further notice" the Judge's damning words shocked you out of your husband's hold on your every thought as your eyes darted to your lawyer.

" All rise" the portly guard beside him announced as those present dispersed from the room, leaving you with darting eyes scanning the empty rows of chairs until they settled on Tommy, and the satisfied smirk he was maliciously sending your way.

"What did you do? Tommy! What did you do?!" you shouted, storming over to him as he rose from his seat. Unbothered by your fit of rage and the role he played in its sudden appearance.

"You're so angry all the time, darling" he replied, dismissing your questions as his hands snaked over your waist, playfully pouting down at your widening eyes as if the entire ordeal was nothing but a small spat between a married couple.

"You might wanna get that checked love, can't be good for you, now can it?" He continued to rile you up after getting his way as you pushed him off you, feeling fooled by your lawyers guarantee that not even your husband could bring a halt to court proceedings after the lengthy battle you had already fought to get this point.

Tears settling between your lashes, you shook your head in disbelief at another delay to your freedom as you ran from the courtroom and your husband calling your name.

" Y/N!" Tommy's voice bellowed into the chilly blue sky as he followed after your hurried steps down to the bustling main road of Birmingham's town center.

"Hey!" He grabbed hold of your hips, spinning you around to face him and the tears streaming down your reddened cheeks.

"Hey..." he hushed your cries as you clutched your arms around your body from the bitter breeze of winter slowly rolling in.

"Here" he pulled his black overcoat from his shoulders, wrapping it around your trembling body, you shrugged off the moment it's warmth enveloped you.

No matter what he did, you wouldn't let him in. Why wouldn't you fucking let him back in?!, Tommy thought to himself, throwing his coat on the hood of his car. Oblivious or rather, ignorant to how he had toyed with you moments earlier.

" Why are you doing this, Tommy? We agreed to this. You agreed to this!" a sigh of defeat had your head turning in frustration to the cobbled ground below you. A stream of tears following in tow.

"Forced my hand more like" his huffy response snapped back as he fished in his suit jacket for a cigarette.

Eyes cast down, Tommy's stare darted between your tear-ridden cheeks and the morning dash of men and women hurrying to their places of work as you both stood in silence.

"Hey, look at me" he cupped your chin, turning your head to face him as he shuffled from foot to foot with a breathy exhale. "We'll deal with this in private, alright?" his brows raised, only to be welcomed with your rolling eyes of skepticism on what the word private actually meant to your husband whose idea of a fair deal was only if he was the one making all the deciding factors.

"Y/N?" he waited on your answer, softly brushing a lock of hair from your cheek when his eyes caught the sight of a police car sat guzzling gas on the opposite side of the road, and the prick inside he'd learnt had been hounding you for months on the whereabouts of his colleague.

Jaw tightening, Tommy watched as the detective gave a two-finger salute before turning the wheels of his car into the road and driving off with a pleased smirk. A clear provocation to rile up the notorious gangster on a day he knew Tommy's reputable temper could see him snap given the right push, in the right direction.

" Y/N?" his attention flew back to you as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. " I don't want this" he held your gaze as the end of his cigarette sizzled inches from your cold cheeks.

" I love you" his stare intensified as he wet his lips, his hands reinforcing his words with a stern shake to your face. " I can't lose you. If you want me to change...fuck, I'll change, alright?"

" For god's sake Tommy, that's not...not what I want from you" You felt a surge of disappointment plummet to the bottom of your stomach at the empty promises you had heard countless times before. Hoping that for once, just once, he'd say something that could reassure you enough to put a stop to the yearning you had to reconcile without a shit load of regret following shortly after it.

"I was just keeping you safe, darling" his hands dropped to your arms, tenderly rubbing them within his palms.

" Is that what you want me to do? Pull back my men? Is that what this is all about, eh?" He continued with his refusal to acknowledge the lengths he'd gone to keep control over every waking moment of your day.

" You've given up on us, haven't you?" Tommy huffed at your silence and the reaction it had on his grating need to have your undivided attention at all times.

"Just know this is all on you, eh? Our daughters' parent's separated because of you. Great fucking example you're showing her, darling. Well done" Tommy shook his head, viscously switching his mood back to his bitter brooding over your lack of response, and the expected answer you were unwilling to give.

Your silence being enough to make clear where you stood on the matter, you turned to leave as his hurtful words settled in your chest. Burrowing down to your heart, to the pang of guilt you felt for the stress you was putting your six-year-old daughter through.

"Where are you going?" He stopped you from taking another step as he grabbed hold of your arm.

" Into town" you attempted to shrug off his grip as you watched the barrage of questions form behind his eyes.

" You need some money?" He slipped his burning cigarette between his lips as he pulled out a bundle of cash, flicking through the notes.

" No" you huffed, folding your arms away from him as a wave of embarrassment that you didn't have the money for a taxi fare, let alone a trip into town without your husband giving you your weekly pocket money, scorched you with humiliation.

" Why not?" Tommy's brow furrowed as he threw his cigarette to the ground. " Y/N, why not?" His question turned into an urgent demand to know what had you needing to walk into the city for something he could get one of his men to fetch for you.

Fuck sake, you sighed to yourself, feeling the familiar tone of interrogation seeping though his questions. You just wanted space, space away from the house you still found yourself sharing with him, from the constant reminder of happy memories spent together, from him, from him and his fucking need to know your whereabouts every hour of every second of the day.

"You have someone else paying for this outing into town, is that why you don't need my money, eh? Tommy's paranoia started to turn it's ugly head into an onslaught of never-ending questions.

"Going on another fucking date, hm? Like you did with that pig" his grip tightened, releasing his pent-up anger out on your reddening arms as he glared at you with eyes burning with enough fury to heat your face.

" It's was a friendly dinner..." You sighed with frustration at his inability to stop himself before he pushed you further away with words intended to hurt.

" You meeting someone, Y/N? You fucking somebody, eh?" His voice rose, letting go of the little self-restraint he still possessed as he abruptly pulled you into his body.

" Why you doing this to me, hm?" His voice suddenly softened into desperate pleas anyone would think was an end to his anger. But his tight hold on your body as his cheek pressed against yours, the sound of his gritted teeth grinding together against your ear, enough to tell you otherwise that his fury was seconds away from bubbling over.

" Tommy stop...enough!" You managed to push him away as you turned to leave, refusing to withstand another second of the man that had replaced your once doting husband.

" You won't get rid of me that easily, darling! I won't let it happen!" His voice bellowed into the soot filled air, garnering the attention of those within ear shot. "You marry a Shelby, you stay married! You hear me?! You stay, fucking married!"

" Fuck!" His hands slammed against the door of his car as his lawyer nervously approached, announcing his presence with the clearing of his throat.

" What?!" Tommy's head snapped back to the fumbling man with a file of papers requiring his attention.

" See that those get lost" Tommy's demeanor quickly simmered, keeping the only document that held any interest before piling the rest into the arms of his lawyer.

Sinking into the driver's seat, his true intentions, written in the words of his solicitor, found their way into the glove box as one of his men slid into the passenger's side.

" What's the plan boss?'" the peaked soldier questioned, his voice drowning out into a distant muffle of unintelligible words as Tommy's eyes followed you walking along the cobbled path. His fingers hovering over the ignition, ready to leave when you turned back to look at him with locks of hair dancing in front of your eyes, cheeks rosy red from the chill that had settled over the foggy city. The sight twisting an unbearable urge within him to have you walk back to him, to have you back in his arms.

Were you coming back to him?, Tommy waited, a breath of anticipation catching in his throat as you stood from afar before the ends of your dress turned with a gust of wind, pushing you around the corner out of sight.

" Boss?" The peaky asked, waiting for his orders as his hand rested on the handle of the door.

" Follow her"

" Fuck..." you stifled the steady flow of tears trickling down your cheeks as you darted into a narrow bricked path behind a row of shops. A face as famous as yours was, and would always be a topic of conversation, even more so with a set of tears covering it.

How had it come to this? Was it after the birth of your daughter? No, no, before then? When you was dating?", you plagued yourself with the same frequency of questions your husband tired you with.

No matter how many questions your weary thoughts tormented you with, the truth was, you couldn't pinpoint when your marriage fell apart. It had happened slowly, small changes gone unnoticed. And then, in true Tommy fashion, accelerated to a point where the ignored had become glaringly obvious.

Yet still, wrenching pangs of yearning had you feeling like you couldn't live without him as long sleepless nights dragged on. The heat of his body absent from under the sheets of your martial bed. He was all you had ever known. And he knew it. He knew it.

"You'll pay privy to his crimes when I finally get him, Mrs Shelby. You and your daughter" a voice snatched you from the beckoning memories of your husband's arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

" Leave me alone" your eyes snapped up as you blinked your tears away, pulling yourself from the detective that had tracked you down for a second time that week.

" You're making a mistake" he caught your arm, forcing you to face his insistent inquiries into your husband.

"For the last time, I don't know anything. Now let me go" you echoed the countless responses you had already given.

One dinner had landed you not only at the brunt end of Tommy's raging anger, that you had dared to entertain someone of the opposite sex that was neither blood nor bound to you by marriage, but the watchful eye of your date's colleague, adamant on finding what he believed would be his partner's dead body, murdered at the hands of your husband after a fit of jealousy.

" I can offer you protection, away from him. All you have to do..." He slipped his details into your hand before you abruptly put an end to his concerns for your safety.

" I said, leave me alone" you pulled his hand off you, tired of being man-handled, of being expected to appease every living fucking creature of the opposite sex.

"You'll be next, Mrs Shelby. Mark my words!" He shouted to you as you drifted back into the bustling streets, his words leaving a harrowing sense of dread tightening around your throat as you shoved his card within the warmth of your pocket.

" Tommy doesn't share his toys!" The last of his warnings rang back to you as you leaned against a lonely lamp post, steadying the weight of your body against its metal frame when the world you were trying to flee from appeared in the corner of your eyes in the form of a peaked cap soldier watching from afar.

In sickness and in health, until death do us part. Would you ever be free from the binding love that had chained you together? Or would fate echo the words of your shared vows spoken on your wedding day?

Next Part

Tag list: @peakyswritings @justrainandcoffee @garrison-girl-08 @meadows5 @lavender-haze-01

@strangeobsessed @ttae-yong @lemonwithstupidity @lindsay00000 @mischievouslittlecreature

@jbrownta @lau219

[suckerforlovesblog]

Pretty little thing

All Mr. Shelby wanted was to remarry. He had to find himself another wife after the death of Grace, not just to take care of his son Charly but also to grant him access to the finer society of Birmingham. All he wanted the girl to be was a pretty little thing on his arm who simply submitted, obeyed and followed his orders.

And he did find the perfect girl - young, very good looking, of a good upbringing, smart but little did he expect her to have such a strong mind of her own…

All he wanted to do was break her in, like a horse had to be, and his new wife put up a good fight but eventually he is sure, he will break her and make her his completely.

Series warning:

Dark!Tommy, toxic relationship, abuse, rape, non consensual intercourse, rough sex, age gap, Sir kink, choking - all the things that come with rough smut

Series Masterlist:

Chapter 1: The perfect girl

Chapter 2: The Betrothed

Chapter 3: The wedding

Chapter 4: coming soon…

[toms-cherry-trees]

Don’t Hold My Hand (I’ll Break Your Heart) || Tommy Shelby x Fem OC ~ Ch. 3

Summary: The day Thomas has been awaiting for is finally here and things don't go as planned. The first crack begins to show

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Talks of medical procedures, needles and blood. Tommy suffers a pain episode

Author’s note: I am so sorry this took so long! These past weeks have been terribly busy and I have been having a major writer crisis. Yet here we are and I hope you enjoy!

Requested taglist: @call-sign-shark @zablife

《 Prev part - Next Part 》

Ever since their last encounter, Thomas’ attitude towards her shifted. Charlotte couldn’t say he respected her, for that would take more than a few harsh words and stern looks. But he seemed to have found something in her that piqued his interest. He still refused her help on the daily with the most basic of things, stubborn as a mule, or rather stubborn as a Shelby, but he granted her the ‘honour’ of a few words of conversation every now and then. And Charlotte used every chance she could to try and talk him out of his miracle doctor.

She brought up every argument she could muster, but they were all met with indifferent shrugs of the shoulders, dismissive waves of the hand and, when she pressed too hard, with Thomas turning his back to her and escaping her well intentioned words, seeking refuge in the safety of his veranda. Charlotte remembered time after time when she had to convince soldiers to follow treatment for their own good, to have their medicines and do the exercises and quit the alcohol and the laudanum. She never had to talk a man out of doing something, and definitely never a man like Thomas Shelby.

“Just tell me this, Thomas. Have you ever, at least once, met or even seen any of these veterans this doctor has claimed to cure?”

His silence sufficed as a reply.

The faithful day, Charlotte awoke with a bitter taste in her mouth and a heavy feeling in her stomach. A dull headache throbbed in her temples, since sleep had refused to find her, leaving her to toss and turn as the moon slowly gave way to the sun and the birds chirped in their branches. She did her best to carry on with her duties as usual, but every now and then she nervously glanced up towards the clock, waiting for the strike of 3 in the afternoon. The minutes felt too long and the hours too short. If she stared at the clock, the hands refused to move under her watchful gaze. But then she would turn her back for what felt like five minutes, and when she looked again, nearly an hour had transpired.

The doctor had sent beforehand some medicines that Thomas had to drink prior to the appointment. Charlotte had poured some onto a cup and stared at it intently, hoping that if she looked hard enough she could discern what exactly had been mixed into the ambary liquid, since the bottles had neither a chemist’s name nor any label. But other than identifying a hint of a sweet, herbal scent, she got nothing. 

A taxi stopped before the gates just five minutes to three. Mrs. Gray and Charlotte both awaited in the foyer, standing side by side, to welcome the man who promised them the greatest miracle to be ever seen. They heard voices out the door, and Frances opened before he could knock. The second the doctor crossed the threshold, the bad feeling in Charlotte’s gut worsened.

The man before her dressed poorly. And not in the modest but clean way that most working class people did. His brown suit had definitely seen better days, perhaps better years too; frayed at the hems, the seams stretched out and the buttons hanging precariously from thinned out threads. Whoever had sewn in the elbow patches definitely had very little practice in tailoring. The shirt had taken a yellow hue from wear and time, and some bare threads hung from the collar. The shoes desperately needed a visit to the shoemaker, soles detached on the tips, the gap widening with each step.

Two women came with him, one on each side and just a step behind him, both with severe faces and strict postures. They dressed as nurses did, with the light blue dress and the Sister Dora cap upon the hair, but had black rubber aprons tied about the waist instead of the usual soft white linen she herself wore. Their appearance evoked more butchers than healers. Charlotte could certainly picture them wielding cleavers and with red splatters on their faces, not precisely from slicing meat.

Mrs. Gray shared her apprehensions, that much Charlotte could tell by the way the older woman lowered her cigarette slowly, one hand holding onto the ruby pendant hanging from her neck, twirling the gem between her fingers nervously. They both shared a tense and brief side glance, loaded with trepidation,  when the doctor took Mrs Gray's hand and kissed it, his head lowered in a bow. She pulled away from his grasp delicately but firmly, the only betrayal in her collected facade being the slight narrowing of her eyes. He then tried to repeat the impish gesture with Charlotte; but the nurse’ hands remained firm behind her, not giving the audacious man even a speck of chance. 

The doctor straightened, arms behind his back and puffing out his chest like a proud peacock. He appeared to not be unfazed by the tepid welcoming, although Charlotte easily noticed his barely concealed disappointment. Perhaps in other houses he had been received with tears and cheers like a hero who would save the day. She wondered if he had been sent off with the same enthusiasm after his magical treatments. 

“Miss and Madame, I am Doctor Elias Keller '' He put a hand to his chest and bowed again, as if he were being presented to Queen Mary and her daughter in Buckingham Palace. “These are my assistants, Bertha and Henrietta” Both women nodded curtly once, still standing just a step behind Doctor Keller, like petty soldiers flanking a high ranking officer, ready to rush to do his bidding.

The man put out his hand again towards Mrs. Gray, mayhaps hoping for a handshake. But she didn’t give him the satisfaction, instead reaching for her cigarette case and lighting a new one. She took her time to take a long, deliberate drag and allowing the smoke to billow from her dark cherry lips before speaking

“I am Mrs. Gray, Mr. Shelby’s aunt. And this is Charlotte, Mr. Shelby’s private nurse” Charlotte had never heard her refer to Thomas as Mr. Shelby, but she understood the motive; she didn’t want to give Dr. Keller any chance of familiarity. As if she wanted, through subtle actions, to remind him of his position before he got too cocksure. In her line of work she had surely met one too many charlatans, Lottie thought, and she too could smell the rottenness in him. 

Doctor Keller smiled, although the gesture looked perfectly practised and not at all sincere. Charlotte did notice that he looked her up and down out of the corner of his eye, and not in a bawdy way; quite the opposite, in fact. He seemed uncomfortable with her presence, a feeling that had appeared upon his face only after Mrs. Gray mentioned her to be a nurse. He fixed his bowtie, giving it a firm tug before addressing her

“A nurse, you say? You certainly don’t look like one, far too young you are. Perhaps a maid turned caretaker?” He raised his eyebrows, his eyes twinkling with condescending amusement. Charlotte clenched her jaw, teeth nearly grinding in annoyance.

“War nurse, in fact. I served in convalescent homes and then field hospitals in France since 1916. I was awarded for distinguished service” She puffed out her chest at the last part. Even if her recognition strips and medal lay forgotten at the bottom of a drawer in her room she had the right to boast about them. She had earned them through hardship and sweat, and she would not let this mountebank look her down. 

Doctor Keller’s lips tightened into a line, but he regained himself with such ease one might even doubt the gesture existed. He straightened up once more, his eyes fixated upon Mrs. Gray, every aspect of his posture and demeanour indicating he wished to keep Charlotte excluded from the conversation

“Well Mrs. Gray, I must not be delayed. Every second that I am not by my patient’s side it is a second lost. I am very devoted to them and wish to give them only the best of everything, including my time” Charlotte had to look aside to disguise a poorly stifled laugh. The man didn’t spare her a glance, but his guarding dogs both looked her down with a mixture of annoyance and indignation. The shorter, much older woman reminded Charlotte of her commanding matron in the ward when she first enlisted; they both bore a particular type of severity in their faces that could put generals to their knees. Charlotte had bowed her head before the matron; out of respect for her status and service, but she would not let herself be intimidated by the walking circus before her.

Mrs. Gray on the other hand, had Doctor Keller’s complete attention on her. The man kept trying to go up the stairs, but she kept trying to delay him just a few more minutes

“You have just arrived, why don’t we have tea in the drawing room? We can sit down and discuss what treatment are you planning to implement on my nephew” Her manicured hand came to rest on the doctor’s bicep, as if attempting to steer him away from the grand staircase. But the man, who mere minutes ago had presented himself as fulsome and flirty towards her, didn’t take her attempts kindly. He stepped away from her touch, straightening out his worn jacket.

“Mrs. Gray, I must go to my patient at once. I am a very busy man and see many soldiers like him a day. My time is of precious value and not to be so easily wasted. If you do not show me to his rooms I will be forced to leave and reconsider his position as my patient” He spoke fast, a shrill tone edging his voice, the perfectly polished facade he had brought with himself showing the first crack. He appeared nervous to not have the family’s support, surely not used to be resisted that way. Charlotte prayed internally that Mrs. Gray would push just a little harder, that she would stand her ground for a bit more, enough to scare this opportunist into running and never looking back. 

But alas, Mrs. Gray relented, perhaps to spare herself of a round with her nephew when he found out she had blocked the way for his miracle doctor, or mayhaps because she too bore a miniscule sliver of hope that whatever they did to Thomas may work. 

She gave Charlotte a look, a brief one, no more than a second, but loaded with many conflicting feelings. Her lips quivered from the effort it took her to not say word, and she had to remind herself mentally of her position within that house; just a worker, placed there to look after the Master of the house, not to give opinions or interfere with his businesses. Feeling her heart tighten, Charlotte led the way towards Thomas’ chambers. When they reached the double doors she pushed them open, allowing them inside before stepping in. But she found her path blocked by the older assistant, who crossed her arm on the threshold to hold her back

“Doctor Keller works alone. If he needs help he will have us. Please wait outside” The harshness of her voice matched perfectly that of her face, her broad frame firmly forcing Charlotte out of the room. Incensed, and perhaps frightened, Charlotte stood her ground, her shoulder pushing against the human wall that was the other woman.

“I work here. I am his caretaker. You will not touch a hair of his head without me there” She spoke perhaps with more passion and strength than her station required, but she felt an overwhelming need to protect Thomas. She could not let, on her best judgement, allow this swindler to beguile Mr. Shelby and endanger his life on false promises.

Just when she readied to perhaps commit acts unbefitting of her against that woman, Mr. Shelby spoke up, his voice calm but firm.

“Charlotte. It’s okay. Just go downstairs”

The assistant stepped aside briefly, allowing Charlotte a peek inside. Thomas sat in his chair near the windows, an unlit cigarette perched between two fingers. Doctor Keller kneeled at his side, holding his free hand in his own in a reassuring grasp. The sunlights poured abundantly through the panes, golden beams framing them. 

“Charlotte. Please” He had never said please to her.

He nodded towards the doctor, and the man stood up, taking control of the wheelchair and leading Thomas away from the windows and from Charlotte’s view.

The last thing she thought she saw was a smile on Mr. Shelby’s face before the assistant slammed the door on her face.

Time moved painstakingly slowly. Hour after hour slipped away, the sun steadily making its way across the skies. Warm orange bathed the rooms towards the back of the house, shadows lengthening as afternoon gave way to sunset. Charlotte sat in the main room, a luxury she rarely granted herself. Before she laid a teapot of black currant tea which had not been touched, and biscuits she refused to eat. She had chewed her thumb in anxiousness, leaving the imprints of her own teeth on the pads.

At least five times during her wait, Charlotte made her way towards Thomas’ bedroom but stopped halfway through, doubting in her feet before slowly making her way back down. She wanted to go up and see for herself what they were doing; every fibre of her being urged her to. But at the same time she feared what she would see or hear there. 

A half past six, the double doors closed with a dry thud, and heavy footsteps resonated in the stairwell. Charlotte scrambled from her seat, almost slipping on the fancy rug and knocking her hip against a side table as she rushed into the foyer. Somehow Mrs. Gray beat her to it, already standing at the foot of the stairs even though she hadn’t seen her around since the doctor’s arrival.

Doctor Keller marched down the stairs ceremoniously, his head held high, as if he had just rediscovered America. He had removed his jacket, and his yellowed shirt clung to his body with sweat. His assistants walked behind him, carrying his cases and a bag Charlotte swore they hadn’t brought with them. Their rubber aprons had been wiped clean, and for some reason, that didn’t sit right with Charlotte.

He addressed Mrs. Gray, once more his posture and actions disregarding Charlotte’s presence. The man took Mrs. Gray’s hands, and this time she didn’t push him back. His smile suggested reassurance and triumph.

“The procedure has gone well. Mr. Shelby is now upstairs in his bed, sleeping. He has been left exhausted and I suggest he is not disturbed until morning. I will return in a fortnight to repeat the treatment, and will continue to do so as many times as it is necessary, but I feel confident that progress will be seen before my return” 

Mrs. Gray’s eyebrows knit together in worry, and although she didn’t grant the doctor the reward of a smile, she had lost some of the apprehension she bore in the morning.

“Can you tell me what exactly is it that you have done to him? What sort of treatment is this?”

Doctor Keller chuckled heartily, shaking his head while he patted her hand “Now Mrs. Gray, those are gruesome details that delicacies like yourself should not have to endure” Charlotte buffed at the last part. Mrs. Gray could be described as anything but delicate. And the comment obviously didn’t sit well with the older woman either, for she immediately dropped the doctor’s hands and took a step back.

“Allow me to see you out, Doctor Keller” Even in now obvious annoyance, Mrs. Gray displayed an affability that Charlotte envied; a possession and control of the emotions that very few mastered. The small group headed outside while the valet brought the car around. But Charlotte did not follow, instead sprinting up the stairs towards Thomas’ bedroom.

She peered inside quietly, walking on tiptoes. Every window had been opened, the room smelling of damp soil and autumn leaves, but the earthy scent could not entirely mask the acrid smell of rubbing alcohol. The breeze had scattered papers from the desk all over the floor, and she hurried to pick them up, knowing how much disorganisation ticked Thomas off. As she placed them on the desk, she noticed they had left a kidney dish forgotten, alongside with a syringe filled with a milkish substance. The needle, the length of Charlotte’s hand, was coated in red.

Slowly, fearfully even, she turned towards the bed. She didn’t know what she expected to see, perhaps a gory scene with blood splattered on the walls and pooling on the floor, or a massacre akin to those seen in the field hospitals in France. Yet she only saw Thomas, laying on his side and submerged in a deep slumber, dressed only in his sleeping shirt and underwear.

She approached him slowly, her keen eye noticing the layer of sweat covering his skin, hair sticking to his temples and beads rolling down the curve of his neck. She dampened a cloth in the basin and wiped his forehead, feeling his skin feverish to the touch. The corners of his mouth had reddened marks, as if they had been rubbed raw against something coarse. Frowning in confusion, Charlotte leaned back, moving to examine the rest of his body. She found nail marks in his palms, in lines of bloodied crescent moon shapes. Just as she moved to grab the first aid kit to clean them, she picked up a small but significant detail.

The sheets had been changed

That morning, the bed had pure white sheets of plain linen without any embellishment, and these had simple blue embroidery on the edges, intertwined with Thomas’ initials as laundry marks. Charlotte could simply not understand why they would change the sheets amidst such secrecy instead of asking her or one of the maids to handle it, and neither could she find said sheets no matter where she looked. Clearly, whatever had been spilled on those linens, the doctor and his devils in tow wanted to be kept secret.

Worry crept up Charlotte’s spine and clawed at her throat. She didn’t want to disturb Thomas’ slumber, not after seeing him sleeping better than he had ever done before. Yet she could not ignore her instincts, not when they screamed at her so loud they drowned every other thought in her mind. 

So she sat by the bed and watched.

Waited and watched, while the sun gave way to the moon. A maid brought her food but she barely ate, feeling as if Thomas would burst into pieces or fade into mist if she took her eyes away from him for one second. Frances came near eleven, urging her to go to bed, but she only asked the older woman to take watch for a moment while she changed into her nightgown and robe. Even during the brief routine of closing the curtains and turning off lights she kept glancing towards him. But despite her best efforts she was only human, and the ever growing tension of the day had worn her out. She huddled in an armchair near the bed, a blanket around her legs and a small pillow supporting her neck. She had a book in her lap, but fatigue clouded her vision and foggied her thoughts. She swore she heard the grandfather clock chime 1 in the morning just before she fell asleep.

Charlotte woke up in a nightmare.

In the space between the land of dreams and the real world, guttural, horrific groans of pain seeped into her mind, making her hair stand on edge. Her heartbeat quickened and her feet chilled. She had to fight the drowsiness and exhaustion off her body and will her eyes to open. The room was illuminated only by moonlight coming from one curtain she had kept drawn back, casting phantasmagoric shadows on the walls. As her vision adjusted to the darkness and her senses sharpened, she sought the source of those sounds. Her first instinct was to go to the window, but she hadn’t moved a step when the grunts of pain returned, coming from very close to her. 

Thomas doubled over himself in the bed, fingers digging on the sheets and his jaw locked tightly around a corner of the pillow, poorly attempting to drown his pained cries. Charlotte rushed to turn on a lamp, and when warm light bathed him, she let out a scream of her own.

Crimson blossomed in the back of his nightshirt, the stains growing like flowers along the length of his spine. When she pushed his shirt up, she saw bandages entirely soaked in blood, the coppery scent filling her nostrils. The flesh around them had reddened and swelled. Thomas kept writhing, only worsening things as whatever they had done to his back kept tearing open and bleeding anew. 

His fingers dug into his own hair, pulling at the black strands in desperation as he muffled the screams by biting into his forearm. Somehow that grounded Charlotte, setting her back into the same steeliness that got her through the war. She rushed to the medicine cupboard and pulled out bottles, not even bothering to check the labels, for she knew what she looked for. The laudanum she kept at the very bottom, hidden behind all the taller bottles, had not been opened. She went to pour it in a spoon, but thought it better and instead poured it into a glass, estimating what dosage would put two adult men to sleep. With the amount of whiskey and other things Thomas consumed on the daily, she knew a spoonful would barely give him a tickle.

She climbed in bed next to him, trying to sit him up so he could drink. But Thomas seemed to be paralysed with pain, and even the tiniest of movements reignited the agony. Not a word passed his lips, only exclamations of pains mixed with heavy, slowly drawn gasps of air, for even the simple act of breathing had become a struggle.

“Thomas, Thomas, breathe. Breathe with me” She cooed soothingly, running her fingers through his hair in a gentle caress “I have your medicines. But you need to sit up a bit to drink” Her calm words fell on deaf ears, and she couldn’t blame him for not heeding her command. Charlotte wanted desperately to ease his suffering, but for that she had to move him, which would only worsen his pain. She hated she had to do it, but it was for his own sake.

“I am sorry about this” She murmured as she sat by his side, hooking her arms under his heavy body the best she could to pull him up. The scream he emitted was otherworldly, and she could only silence it by putting her hand in his mouth, letting him bite her flesh like a rabid dog. The pain shot up her arm but she ignored it, not moving until his jaw had unclenched. She had managed to prop him upright against her chest, with her own back resting against the headboard. His head laid limp against her bosom, and the still fresh blood stained her robe. But none of that mattered at the moment. 

Charlotte tried to get him to drink with the spoon but he refused to open his mouth. Sweat now poured profusely down his face and neck, giving his skin an unhealthy glistening. Even in the faint light she could see his complexion had paled, but at least it appeared the bleeding had stopped. Charlotte forced the spoon past his lips, but he only splattered on it, spilling the laudanum everywhere. When she tried again, he shook his head like a child refusing his porridge. She sighed in frustration, and also because his weight against her made it hard to breathe.

“Thomas, please. It will do you good. I promise it. You will feel better”

Again, nothing. Every muscle in his body was painfully tense, and she could see the vein in his forehead popping and the pulse beating strong and quick in the side of his neck. She placed a tender hand on the side of his face, her thumb running up and down the sharp length of his jaw to ease the tension. After a few minutes she noticed a slight improvement and how his lips parted open. Lottie seized that opportunity and brought up the spoon again. And this time, he sipped the medicine.

“That’s it. Take it slowly. This will make you feel better Tommy”

The pet name escaped her without thinking, and honestly, she didn’t give it a second thought. His aunt called him that so often that it had simply slipped into her vocabulary. 

Spoon by spoon, slowly and carefully, Thomas drank the laudanum. The medicine acted quickly, and soon the relaxation became visible in his body. His muscles loosened, his breathing calmed and his pulse returned to normal.

Minutes ticked by in peaceful calmness, a stark contrast to the abrupt awakening she had. A brief glance to the clock showed her a quarter to four. Still a long time to go before sunrise. And a lot to be done. The bed had been left a disaster, as had Thomas himself. She would not bother with the sheets but the bandages and his clothes needed changing. It took her some serious shifting and pulling to get out from under him, but at last Charlotte managed to lay him down, propped comfortably on some pillows. She laid him as comfortable as she could, since she doubted she would be able to move him again. 

The shirt was a goner, so she had no qualms in cutting it to shreds to slip it off his body. The bandages soon followed, alongside the thick folds of gauze which were now blood soaked. The sight underneath stole the breath from her lungs

A series of wounds traced the length of Thomas’ spine, from lower to mid back. Perfectly lined puncture wounds, in pairs, going up at regular intervals. Whatever needle had been used surely resembled more an icepick, for the holes seemed to have been drilled in his flesh. Charlotte could not even fathom what sort of procedure Tommy had been put through, but now her other findings made sense. The nail marks on his own hands from where he has fisted them so tight, and the abrasions on his mouth, surely a leather strip or a simile had been put in his mouth as a gag. Tears welled up in her eyes when she thought how he had willingly subjected himself to torture of the worst kind just for a crumb of hope.

She washed him clean as best as she could in that position, rinsing away the blood and sweat. She didn’t have any medicines at hand to apply to the wounds, so she only rebandaged them, making a mental note to ring a real doctor the next day for some real medicines. Since the sheets could not be changed nor could he be dressed again, Charlotte laid some clean towels around him and tucked him tight with the blankets. 

As she moved around him, she paid close attention to his face for the first time. Without that perennial scowl on his face he appeared much younger, even under all that messy hair and unkempt beard. His eyelashes were enviably long, casting shadows upon his high cheekbones even under the weak light of the bedside lamp. His nose had a straight slope, and his jaw a particular sharpness, noticeable despite the beard. He was objectively very handsome, a man girls would surely fawn over. 

Just as she readied to retake her watching post, Charlotte noticed again the nail marks on his palms, now swelling up and the skin purpling. She took his hand on her lap as she cleaned it gently, wrapping a simple bandage around them. Just as she moved to stand, his hand gripped tightly the fabric of her robe, stalling her moves. 

When she turned to face him, she realised Thomas had been awake this whole time. His eyes were open, and the ice had melted from them, giving way to a sharp shade of blue, vibrant even under the obvious exhaustion. His eyes fixed upon her, and they held each other’s gazes for a moment. Charlotte had stared into those eyes many times, and had read many hidden emotions behind the blueness, but that night she saw something new, something she never expected to see in him; vulnerability. Raw, deep, unsuppressed vulnerability. The first glimpse of the man behind the carefully crafted iron mask.

It felt almost wrong to be allowed to see the facade crack, like being made privy to a secret she felt unworthy of. At last, she lowered her eyes first, working on putting aside her medical supplies, just to keep her hands and her concentration busy.

“Sleep, Tommy” The words were hushed, her voice meant to be soothing, although he wouldn’t need much soothing with the dosage of laudanum she gave him “Rest will do you good” 

Charlotte moved to stand, but he moved to grip her wrist instead, his hold firm but not hurtful. She looked up to him again, confusion lacing her features.

“Stay”

The words were spoken through great effort, coming out raspy and strained, but perfectly clear. 

“I will not leave you. I will sit right by your bed” She reassured him, but he didn’t let go. In a sudden movement he pulled on her arm, throwing her off balance and tossing her rather unceremoniously on the bed, so that their bodies laid close together. She felt her heart rise to her throat, eyes wide and breaths quick at the sudden proximity. She wondered if the pain medicines had loosened Thomas’ inhibitions. Or perhaps he was just in desperate need of some of the human contact he often rejected.

For long minutes Tommy just stared at her wordlessly, not offering an explanation as to why he did that, nor letting go of her arm either. Heat rose to Charlotte’s cheeks, yet she could not look away from him either. The silence lingered until she chose to break the spell.

“Tommy?”

His fingers slid down from her wrist, lacing his hand with hers. His next words held a longing and rawness Charlotte didn’t believe possible in him.

“Don’t leave me alone. Not tonight"

[wisteriaandwafers]

Was that a SHOCK!?!? The baby’s name is TOMMY!?!?

JUST ANOTHER OF YOUR MISTAKES

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Request made by @justsumtuffstuff: Could you do a tommy shelby imagine where you secretly have his kid but don’t tell him until one day aunt polly sees you and is like “holy shit” but that’s not the surprise, the surprise is you have twins. Just a lot of angst and fluff pretty please? ((:

This fic will have two parts!

Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, grieving, a lot of pain, eventual fluff, smut

A/N: It's a.. heavy fic, so beware. Interact for more

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

~~

The land of Birmingham seemed to never change, not one bit. Ever since the first people settled there, the sky hung over them as if by force, never clear enough to see prospects for the future. Robbing the poor kids of dreams, of the loud thumping in their hearts caused by excitement for the good that never came.

It would seem that God has lost his way to Birmingham, not to mention Small Heath. Dirt, smoke and silence that rang too loud when working men would finish their shifts in factories seeking peace in their homes. After all, the human brain can get used to everything.

What was the difference between going to sleep hungry every night, and the relentless churning in the depths of her stomach that Y/N felt? Pain that never let go, waking up along her side like a loyal husband, never ceasing to accompany her throughout the day. Never loosening the hold on her heart.

Oh, how cruel the fate can be, Y/N thought, looking at the white ceiling of her bedroom. One she slept in for many nights too long, carrying the weight of the curse on her shoulders.

Because she was cursed, that one she was sure. Seeing the man she loved more than anything else in the world, losing himself in the grief after another woman.

Because that was the woman whose name Y/N dared not speak or even think. That's who she was, another woman. Embodiment of pain and betrayal of so many promises, taking away the beautiful, blue gaze Y/N yearned for so badly.

God must have been so cruel, putting her through the uncertainty of ever seeing him again throughout the war, and then taking him away.

Taking him away from Y/N, and letting her watch the process. Letting her see the distance growing, the dilated pupils in his eyes after each doze of opium, fruitlessly trying to numb the pain he carried.

Y/N couldn't help but wake up everyday, wondering how different his grief would be if it was her who died. Would he cry? Would he push the other woman away, like he did her? Sometimes the pain felt like too much to handle, but Y/N would never try to pull the trigger. Subconsciously feeling the weight of shame in her chest if she'd ever somehow found out she was right. That he wouldn't care.

So she lived, losing pieces of her heart day by day, warming his bed whenever he saw it convenient.

Until that one day came, that was. Hearing the... Scary, oh so scary news from her doctor she visited in secret. Putting both of her hands on her still flat stomach, she didn't feel anything physically. Yet it was enough to find the strength, buried so deep in her heart.

The love she felt for her unborn children outweighed the love for him.

The tension in Arrow house felt heavier than usual, as Y/N dragged her heavy suitcase down the stairs before slowly making her way to his office. The pain, longing in her heart slowing her down, extending the seconds into forever.

Y/N took a deep breath as her hand pressed down on the metal handle, the loud click echoing throughout the mostly empty room. Wordlessly she slipped inside, walking up to his desk quietly, letting out a shaky breath when she stopped mere inches away from the wooden furniture. His eyes didn't move from the documents he was reading, an empty gaze fixed on black letters despite knowing she was there. Y/N waited for a second, giving him a chance to look at her. Hoping he would.

But he didn't.

”I'm leaving” she said, loud enough to be heard. Silence followed her words, loud like never before as her heart squeezed in anticipation, silently begging him to stop her. To say something. Several moments passed before he finally did, making her heart stop for a mere second.

”Safe travels, Y/N Y/L/N” He responded in a cold, husky voice and for a moment, Y/N wondered who he was, wearing his face but sounding so different.

But the dust settled, just like the weight of his words as soon as she closed the door behind her back for what she thought would be the last time.

~~

Polly's eyes cut through his skin like a blade, her gaze never changing after that one feral day. The look of contempt and disgrace not even a bit different than one she gave him finding out what happened, back then.

”I was hoping you wouldn't be so stupid” She hissed, leaning forward, reaching for a cigarette with a shaky hand. Her eyes were teary, as she inhaled the smoke. ”When you were younger I saw your mother in your eyes. Now, they're full of greed and foolishness. Just like your father's” She spat out with contempt, raising from the chair. Quickly walking up to his own, she kneeled down for a moment, to meet his gaze.

One so empty, that gave her goosebumps.

”I will never forgive you, and... Neither will you.” She whispered. ”But you will have to live with the choice you made.”

Her words echoed loudly in his head several minutes after Polly left... And they never stopped ringing now, thirty eight months later. Thomas counted, every morning to be sure. After sobering up it was difficult to tell days apart. He rarely slept, fearful of the dreams he had at first.

He saw her, she was so close and yet no matter how fast Tommy ran, he couldn't reach her. Out of his reach no matter how hard he screamed or cried. Looking at him with the burning tears he caused.

It took him three months to sober up, give up on opium and... Feel. Thomas wasn't ready for the hellish pain that dawned on him once the drug wore off. The terrifying longing that dawned on him when he felt the remnants of her perfume on his pillow. The lack of relief he hoped for so badly, throwing away every single Grace's belonging he held onto previously, burning the photos and destroying the items, but it never came.

As time stretched, it became more intense. Thomas carried the pain and guilt wherever he went, finding the smallest bit of relief only in his office, searching for Y/N in every piece of England day by day.

Replaying the ways in which he treated her, internally setting himself on fire and forcing himself to feel every bit of it. Because that's what he deserved, to feel and carry the cross he created with his own hands.

Oh how beautiful the pain was, as he'd lean back in his armchair, closing his eyes and remembering her gaze. Her scent and her laugh, echoing so lively in his mind.

...but none of it worked, no matter how many people searched. How much money he spent on the search. Almost like she disappeared into thin air.

Day by day he was dying a little, bleeding through the wounds he so desperately prevented from healing every single time. Keeping the memory of her alive in his mind, not letting the hope die. Because it was all he had. Glimmer of hope. The leader of Peaky blinders became even worse than before. The pain shaped his mind in unknown ways, as the limitless cruelty became visible to anyone who dared to cross his path. Peaky Blinders were unmatched.

Nobody besides Thomas held onto the hope anymore. Knowing Y/N for so long, John and Artur knew she wouldn't come back. Not if her life depended on it. Polly only prayed for her safety.

...and Y/N? She stopped praying once her children were born. After finding out she'd have twins, she prayed every night for them to be born healthy. It was all that mattered.

Not the fact that she had to be using a fake name after moving to Coventry, mere miles away from Birmingham. But she couldn't afford to move further.

It's been.. so fucking hard. Everything. Y/N spent every night crying, begging any God that would listen to take away the pain in her heart. The pain that her babies only managed to lessen. Working as a waitress on nightshifts after accepting the kindness of her older neighbour. Mrs Wilson offered to take care of her boys while she works to help her make ends meet. Y/N had no idea what she would do without a woman she grew to call her only family.

”It's no problem, honey. They're little angels” She said quietly with a kind smile, taking one of the boys into her arms mere days after they were born.

The pain Y/N felt by having to leave her kids every night was stronger than the physical one. Having to work a demanding job after giving birth to keep the roof over their heads.

She cried, cried so much that eventually tears ran out and all she could do was.. keep trying. The two little people by her side were giving her strength. Light that she couldn't see before them, and only existed because they were here. Keeping her own heart beating.

***

”Are you sure? I can take care of them while you go, honey. You know how much I love them, don't you?” The older lady offered eagerly, caressing Nick's cheek with a smile, and a hint of concern while she glanced at Y/N.

”Thank you, but I will take them. The least I can do is spend time with them throughout the day.” Y/N responded, smiling sadly to her neighbour who just nodded along, understanding the allusion.

Letting out a sigh, she put her hands together.

”Be careful, dear.”

Y/N squeezed her hand lightly before pulling away as she held her son's hand, while carrying the other one on her hip.

”Always”

Travelling via train took no longer than forty minutes, and with each passing mile, Y/N's anxiety grew. She hasn't been in Birmingham for a long time now, not looking back.

Yet, because of her official address being still in the Arrow house, she needed to visit the office to complete documentation for boys. She put it off as long as she could, but it was inevitable now.

Despite the negative emotions, Y/N couldn't felt.. better, having her babies with her. The familiar facial expressions or blue orbs were enough to sometimes bring her to tears, but she couldn't love them more. They were a perfect little copy of the man whose name was engraved on her heart. The older they were, the more similar looking they were and now at dashing two and a half years, both boys were troublemakers.

Slowly making their way through Birmingham, Y/N held one little hand, chatting away with Nick, who was more energised than his brother who slept soundly in his mum's arms.

”...and dat?” He asked, pointing towards the building and glancing curiously at his mama. Y/N smiled at his curiosity, seeing how similar personality wise he was to her.

”that's a house” She replied calmly. The little boy cheered loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Yaay! Hooose!” He squealed making her chuckle, not caring about the scolding glances from other passengers.

A couple minutes later the other little one woke up, and started fussing because obviously he also wanted to walk now, while Nick wanted to be carried now. Sighing, Y/N put one of the kids down, and as she managed to pick up little Nick, she gasped loudly seeing her son's legs already in motion as he ran towards the crowd.

”Tommy! Thomas, stop!” She yelled after him, chasing him with Nick on her hip who watched the whole thing with his blue eyes wide open. ”Tommy!” She yelled once again, and he finally turned around, stumbling upon someone.

Y/N closed the distance as fast as she could, grabbing little Tommy and pulling him back to his feet, as she checked for any bruises – found none.

”I'm so sorry, i–” She started out, wanting to apologise to the random passenger, but words died on her tongue as soon as her eyes locked with the familiar brown ones.

”Y/N?” Polly stumbled out in shock.

Fuck

Part two upcoming

[peakyltd]

New Endings - Part 2

Part 2 | Tommy x Reader | 

A/N: Thank you so much for the love on part 1! I decided to turn this into a little series. So I think at least 2 to 3 chapters will follow after this one. I hope you’ll like it! 

Warnings: Mentions of domestic violence/abuse, injuries (both not inflicted by Tommy), anxiety, panic

Word count: 4.8k 

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

"I heard you met with (Y/N).” Polly confidently strided into Tommy’s office, closing the door behind her. Tommy looked up at her before redirecting his attention to the papers in front of him, a soft sigh leaving his mouth, slightly annoyed by Polly’s sudden presence. “Good morning Pol, I didn’t hear you knock.” 

Polly rolled her eyes and sat down in the chair in front of his desk, her brown eyes surveying her nephew. “How was she?” Tommy scribbled down a few notes. “She was well.”

“Do you think it was a good idea?” She questioned as she lit a cigarette. “I mean, she’s engaged after all.”

“It was.” Tommy’s face remained emotionless as he looked up at his aunt. Polly took a drag of her cigarette. “Oh Thomas, please.” She blew the smoke out the side of her mouth. “It was for you, yeah. I don’t think it was for her. Didn’t you damage her enough?” 

Tommy’s jaw clenched, her words had more impact on him than he realized. “If she didn’t want to come, she wouldn’t be there.” He simply stated while putting his fountain pen down on his desk.

“Right and what’s exactly the reason that you send two of our men to watch her husband? You’re doing the exact same thing as years ago.” Polly argued, remembering the countless arguments between them in the past.

Tommy took a sip of his whiskey before he leaned back in his chair. “Because I want to know who he is.” A mocking laugh left Polly’s lips. “ It’s been years, Tommy. Let her go, for god’s sake.” 

“He’s hurting her, Pol. You should’ve seen her, you wouldn’t recognize her by the way she acted.” Tommy tried to explain, recalling her anxious behavior and the way she flinched at his movements. Polly held his gaze before she spoke up. “I hope you’re not saying this to have a reason to get him out of her life.” 

“Pol I-” He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a second. “No. If she was happy I would’ve let her go. But she’s not.” She took another drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly. “And what do you have so far?”

Tommy opened the drawer from his desk and took out a paper, attached was a picture of (Y/N)’s fiancé. As he handed it to Polly, he started to answer her question. 

“David Wright, 35. Grew up in London. Has an exporting license in car parts as well and apparently has some history with different kinds of criminality.” He steepled his fingers. “Last two things could be the reason why they’re here.”

Polly read the paper thoroughly while finishing her cigarette. “She has a type.” She concluded as she put the paper back on his desk. “And all this information is correct?” 

“There are some things that didn’t add up.” Tommy commented as he put the document back in his drawer. “I’ll find out what it is.” 

“And what about (Y/N)?” Polly asked him, knowing her nephew’s answer. “She needs to get out of there.” Tommy answered while looking at his aunt, expecting contradiction. 

“And what if she doesn’t want your help?” She raised her eyebrows. “Then I’ll have to accept it.” He sighed as he took another sip of his whiskey. Those words sounded so easy but Polly knew that someone had to move heaven and earth for him to simply let it go.

The feeling of exhaustion took over him once he arrived home. He was welcomed by Frances who kindly took his jacket and informed him that Charlie had been well today and had spend his day at John’s house to play with his cousins, although she heard from the nanny that he had asked for his dad multiple times. 

Guilt accompanied exhaustion as he thought of many broken promises and the little time he spent with his son. He checked his pocket watch but it was late, Charlie was already sleeping. “Can you tell him that I’ll be home early tomorrow so we can see the horses?” 

Frances nodded. “Of course Mr. Shelby.” Tommy thanked her and made his way to his office. “Oh Mr. Shelby, there was an invitation delivered for you this afternoon.” She told him as she handed him the envelope. “Thank you, Frances.” 

He entered his office and closed the door behind him, putting the invitation on the side table close to the sofa. He took off his suit jacket and vest before putting a few more woodblocks in the fireplace. While he poured himself a whiskey, a soft knock was heard on the door. “Yes.” 

The door opened as Frances set a few steps into his office. “I’m sorry for bothering you Mr. Shelby but I was wondering if I could get you dinner?” Tommy shook his head. “No.” He spoke while making his way to his desk.

Frances nodded, hesitantly turning to leave the room. “You’re done for today Frances, take some time off.” Tommy called out to her as he sat down in his chair. “Yes, Mr. Shelby. Thank you.”

As soon as the door closed, he leaned his head back and took a deep breath. He wouldn’t mind catching up on some sleep but he had to finish the last documents for one of the factories. 

The warmth of the fire and the whiskeys he already had during the day made him feel drowsy. He was fighting against the weariness until his eyelids became too heavy and he doze off into a slumber.

Tommy felt a faint touch on his arm, not sure if it was actually there or if he was dreaming. In the distance he could hear a voice but it was too soft to recognize it. The touch on his arm turned into a firm one until he became aware that someone was squeezing his arm. He abruptly woke up from his slumber, startled by the sudden touch. 

He quickly sat up, his heart racing and his breath fast. Ready to fight. 

Only to find Charlie next to his chair. The boy looked at him with big eyes, frightened by his dad’s reaction as he held his plush horse tighter to his body.

“Charlie...” Tommy breathed out while he tried to calm himself. “Sorry, daddy.” Charlie apologized as he watched Tommy, his dad’s unexpected reaction was new to him. “No.. No it’s okay.” He turned his chair to face the little boy. “Why are you awake?” He asked while he looked for his pocket watch. 

“I can’t sleep.” Charlie explained softly. “You...” Tommy trailed off. “What time is it.” He mumbled to himself as patted his trouser pockets, wondering if he left the watch there. When he didn’t feel anything familiar, he looked around the office. His eyes fell on his vest, which he hung on the back of the sofa. He got up as he focused his attention back to Charlie. “Why can’t you sleep?” 

“I had a bad dream.” The little boy confessed as he looked up at Tommy, hoping to find some kind of affection from his father. “You did? What happened?” Tommy asked him as he lift the boy with ease, Charlie’s arms found their way around Tommy’s neck as he hugged him tightly. “A monster ran after me, trough the house.” Charlie mumbled as Tommy rubbed his back gently.

“Monsters don’t exist Charlie. Everything is alright.” He explained while he sat down on the sofa, his arms protectively around his son. “He had eaten you.” The boy added as he got comfortable in his father’s lap. “But I’m still here, right?”  

“Yes.” Charlie nodded. “Sometimes, Charlie, your brain makes up weird and scary things but it’s not real.” Tommy explained further to him. “They’re not under my bed?” He wondered, not believing his father’s words right away. “They’re not.” 

“Will you look before I go to sleep?” He looked up at Tommy, who nodded in response. “I will and I will make sure you sleep well, yeah?” Charlie nodded, finally able to relax in his dad’s arms. 

Tommy listened to the crackling fire, recovering from the sudden interruption of his slumber. The shock that went trough his body had him still shaken up. 

“Did you have a bad dream too?” His son’s voice got him out of his thoughts. Tommy took a deep breath, trying to make it as easy as possible for both of them. “Yes.” The boy became curious by his answer. “Did you dream about a monster too?” 

“Sort of, yeah.” Tommy answered. “Your eyes were weird when you woke up.” Charlie stated as he earned a soft chuckle from Tommy. “They were?” Trying to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. "Yes. I thought you didn’t see me.”

“I think I was surprised by your sudden visit.” 

Charlie leaned his head against Tommy’s chest, accepting his dad’s answers. Tommy stroked his hair gently as he took the pocket watch out of his vest. 3:30 AM. He had been sleeping for hours and he hadn’t even touched the documents. 

“Daddy?” Charlie mumbled softly. “Hm?” Tommy hummed, wondering what the following question would be. “Who is (Y/N)?” 

Tommy frowned as he looked down at his son. “Where did you get that name from?” The little boy looked up at him. “Uncle John said you were still heels... something with heels for (Y/N). He said that to uncle Arthur today.” 

Tommy sighed, mentally cursing John. It was a miracle how his brother always seemed to know the exact ways to get under his skin. “Uncle John talks too much. You shouldn’t believe everything he says.” 

“But he also tells a lot of funny jokes.” Charlie countered, loving the jokes his uncle told him. “Everything he tells is a joke.” Tommy answered as he got up while holding Charlie. “Now let’s get you to bed, eh? It’s too late for you to be awake.” He explained as they exited the office and made their way upstairs.

“Are you heels for (Y/N)?” The little boy in his arms asked curiously. “That’s enough questions for tonight, don’t you think?” Tommy sighed as they entered Charlie’s bedroom. 

It had been days since he had seen her and she walked out of his life once again. He had tried to call and thought about sending a letter to her house but knew that she would be in trouble if David would find it before she did. Besides that she probably had already traveled back home.

There was no time to think about her now as another meeting was scheduled. He parked his car in front of the Midland hotel and got out. Rain poured down on him as if the clouds knew how he felt deep inside. He walked up the stairs, trying to shift his mind to the plans he was ready to discuss. 

Before he was able to reach the door, a woman came out of the building. Her shoulders were slumped, eyes wide and frantically searching for any kind of safety. Dark circles were visible under her eyes, despite the attempt to cover them up with make up. 

"(Y/N)." Tommy stopped her, almost taken back by the state she was in. Her eyes fell on his frame, fueling her anxiety even more. "No. I-I have to go Tommy, please." She almost begged him as she moved away from him.

He looked around to see if someone was coming after her. “Where are you going?” He calmly asked, hoping that she wouldn’t push him away. “Home.” Her attention shifted to the door as it opened, gulping harshly. 

A man came out of the building and made his way down the stairs. She let out a sigh as she realized it was not the person she had expected. 

The rain still poured down from the sky, soaking both (Y/N) and Tommy. The pattering sound of the droplets hitting the streets surrounded them. He carefully stepped closer to her and put his hand gently on her arm, assuring her that he meant well. As he looked at her, he noticed the bruises in her neck. “Is he inside?” 

She stepped away from him once again, knowing that if David would see them together, hell would break loose. "Yes.” Her eyes kept scanning the street, hoping to find something or someone who could help her. “But don't you dare to do anything to him." She warned as she focused her eyes back on Tommy, knowing his reputation very well.

His heart hurt at the sight in front of him, at what she had become. "Come." He nodded his head in the direction of his car. "No." She gave him a dismissive wave of her hands. "I’ll give you a way out." 

Her coat became heavy from the rain and her hands started trembling. She wasn't sure if it was from the cold water or the fear of the consequences her actions would bring her. Tommy reached out for her hand, showing her that he was genuine. 

David would be furious, she didn’t want to know what would follow for her if she got into accepted Tommy’s offer but right now he was the only one that could actually offer a way out, or at least he said so. Regardless of his apologies a few nights ago at The Garrison, she still didn’t know what to think of him. 

Her wettened hair stuck to her face and the rain dripped from her chin. Her eyes were focused on the wet concrete stairs as her thoughts worked overtime. Tommy kept an eye on the door, in case her fiancé decided to look for her. (Y/N) shifted on her feet as she looked up, her gaze finding his.

"Where?" She asked him, still doubting on what to do. "Somewhere safe." 

She looked around to see if anyone was listening before turning back to Tommy. "Watery Lane?" She asked him carefully. "I know he won't find me there."

"I’ll drive you there." He reached out for her hand again, to help her down the stairs. Nodding her head, she did not dare to take his hand. With one last glance to the door behind her, she walked down the stairs to his car. Tommy followed, opening the door for her so she could get in before getting in himself. 

The car ride was silent. (Y/N) listened to the gentle taps of the water hitting the glass. She watched the rain drops escaping each other as they ran down the window, feeling like she was doing the same thing.

As they entered Small Heath, she noticed the familiar buildings and not long after, the car stopped in front of the house that she knew too well. When they both set foot into her new residence and the door was safely locked, she let out a sigh of relief. One she didn't know she was holding back.

"Let me get your coat." Tommy offered while he gently slipped it off her shoulders, getting a better look at her neck and arms. More bruises made themselves present. She turned around and caught him looking at the marks. Embarrassed by his gaze, she quickly pulled the sleeves from her dress down to her wrists.

His eyes met her guilty looking ones. "What did he do to you?" He asked her as he hung her coat on the back of a chair and moved it closer to the fireplace, in hopes that the warmth would let it dry quicker. She looked down at the floor, preferring to avoid his question. "He wasn't too happy that I left the house." 

"The night we met?" He questioned her, his eyes scanning her body. He got a nod in response. "Did he find out that you were with me?" Tommy wondered as he took off his own coat and cap who were both soaked as well. His dark hair stuck to his forehead and his suit jacket was slightly damp. "I don't know."

"You don't know or yes?" He asked, turning around to face her again. "Yes." She quietly conceded, the cold and nerves made her body tremble. Tommy looked at her, trying to find the right words.

"Come." He spoke up. "Lets get you warmed up at the fireplace, eh?"  He gently placed his hand on her lower back and directed her to the sofa. (Y/N) sat down, the heat of the fire gave her a pleasant feeling. Tommy handed her a blanket which she gladly accepted.

“I’ll see if Ada left a spare dress here.” Tommy told her, about to make his way upstairs. “You don’t have to, mine will dry. It’s not as soaked as my coat.” She explained as she wrapped the blanket around her body, feeling like she was already bothering him enough.

“You’ll get sick.” He declared while he turned back to her. “No, it’s okay.” She leaned her back against the sofa. The blanket captured her body in a warm embrace, stopping the warmth from escaping and helping her body to relax.

Tommy went to the small kitchen and got a bottle of whiskey out of one of the cupboards. He filled two glasses and put one in front of her on the sidetable. “This’ll warm you up.” 

He sat down in the armchair as he saw her puzzled look. “I don’t have gin or tonic here.” She shook her head. “Oh no, don’t worry. I just- I-.” She didn’t dare to tell him she wasn’t a fan of whiskey, afraid that she came across as ungrateful. 

“Would you like something else?” Tommy questioned after taking a sip of his whiskey. “No really, it’s okay.” She assured him but he had gotten up already. “Tea?” 

(Y/N) fumbled with her dress, feeling like a burden for such a small thing. "If it's no bother." She watched him walk to the kitchen again, his low voice reaching her ears. “It’s not.” 

While they both waited for the tea to finish, (Y/N) took the time to look around. Not much had changed since the last time she was here, except for a few added photo frames and some new decorations here and there. It still had the same cosy feeling, a place that earned the title home. 

Lost in thoughts about the past she didn’t notice Tommy putting the cup of tea in front of her until he spoke up. “It’s not as gold as The Garrison, eh?” She turned to face him. “Oh.. No it’s not.” She smiled slightly, taking the cup from the table. “Thank you.”

“It’s still hot.” He warned before sitting back down in the chair. (Y/N) nodded in response. He eyed her from the spot he was sitting in, wondering what was going on in her mind. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned as he watched her eyes focusing on the cup in her hands. 

“Tell you what?” She mumbled while she tried to avoid his eyes. “That he hits you.” He recalled the events of the night in the pub. 

“He doesn’t necessarily hit me.” She knew there was no point in denying after he had seen her bruises but it was easier to deny than to acknowledge it. Tommy lifted his shoulder in a half shrug. “Hurt, then.” 

“Because I hadn’t seen you in years. I couldn’t just suddenly tell you everything that’s going in my life after such a long period of time.” Her eyes finally met his, unsure of what to do. Tommy took a sip of his whiskey. “For how long?” 

She shrugged, not having a clear moment in time when David had started to treat her badly. “He treated me well when we got together but it got worse gradually.” She looked down at her cup again. “I think it started after a year and a half.” 

Tommy nodded, he turned his attention to the fire and watched the flames dance in front of him. He couldn’t believe she had been going trough this for years already. 

The sudden silence made her feel uncomfortable, not knowing how to handle Tommy’s reaction. Or the lack of it. “I often think that it’s because he’s stressed out from work.” 

He turned his head to look at her again, his intoxicating blue eyes boring into hers. “With all due respect (Y/N) but no good man would hurt a woman. No matter the circumstances.” Her eyes wandered back to her cup of tea. “Maybe.”

He noticed how she still tried to come up with any kind of excuse for her fiancé’s abuse. Even after many years of enduring the mistreatment. It was something he couldn’t comprehend. He sighed softly. “What kind of work does he do?” 

“He has an export license for car parts in Europe.” (Y/N) answered before she took a sip of her tea. The warm liquid warmed her body and made her feel at ease for a bit. “And besides that?” 

“I-I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me.” She stammered, not wanting to elaborate on the that topic. Besides, she realized she was talking to Tommy. “I guess you already know?” 

“I found some things, yes. Didn’t know London was the place you would call home.” He teased as he looked at her. His facial expression neutral as usual but still trying to lighten up her mood, even it was just for a moment. Her lips turned into a small smile and he could swear he saw a little glint in her eyes. 

“I didn’t know either.” She confessed as she watched the corner of his lips turn up in the slightest bit. 

The mentioning of the place she had called home for a few years now made her think of the moment she entered Birmingham again, a week ago. She knew there was a possibility that she would run in one of the Shelby’s but she hadn’t expect that it would actually happen. And now she was sitting here, in a familiar place, across from someone she swore she never wanted see again. 

She let the events of the day replay trough her head once again. The screaming of David, the sudden shift of behavior in the lobby of the hotel and the way he threatened her when nobody was looking. She was able to escape him while he was busy with playing the nice guy to one of his business partners, it felt like her prayers had been answered.

With no plan she just ran out, hoping to come up with something while fleeing to wherever. Until she bumped into Tommy, who simply offered her a way out. But was it really that simple? She didn’t want to drag Tommy with her into her problems, he had enough himself. 

She couldn’t burden him with that, being very aware what David could be capable of. On the other hand, she knew she was safe as long as she stayed with Tommy and the area’s where he had the upper hand. But she knew this wouldn’t end well and she didn’t want to be instigator of that. 

She moved to the edge of the sofa and put her cup back on the small table. “I think this is a bad idea.” She stated, her hands trembled slightly from the nerves that were playing up again. Tommy looked at her and noticed her face had turned pale. “What is?” 

“This. I have to go back home.” The calmth she had felt minutes ago, turned in to panic. “Why the sudden change?” Tommy put his glass down while keeping an eye on her. “David is up to no good and I don’t want to drag you into this.” (Y/N) got up and hung her blanket over the back of the couch. 

“I think I’ve had worse than David.” His eyes followed her movements. “You don’t know him, Tommy.” Tears were brimming in her eyes due to the frustration and fear that was building up inside her. “I’m sorry.” 

 “I’m not forcing you to stay, if you want to go, then go.” He got up and moved over to her. “But I promised you a way out and I keep that promise.” He gently grabbed her hand, his thumb moving over the back.

She looked up at him and gulped. It felt so good and familiar as he held her hand, it made her think of the past. A past without worries. She knew what he said was genuine but at the same time it was suffocating her. 

Her widened eyes were staring into Tommy’s as a few tears slid down her cheeks. “I can’t.” She whispered as she felt the gentle grip on her hand loosen. Very aware of what his next move could be, she stepped back, ready to take a blow. 

It didn’t come.

“Come here.” His voice was soft as he carefully pulled her into a hug. One she had needed for such a long time. Her arms wrapped around his waist, fingers gripping onto his suit jacket. Her head leaned against his chest while silent tears fell down her cheeks. His hand rubbed softly over her back.

“Why are you doing this?” She whispered trough her quiet sobs. His other hand gently stroked her hair. “You’d do the same for me.” 

Silence fell over them as they held each other. She wanted to let go but she couldn’t, his warm embrace made her feel safe. The safest she had been for a long time. She felt herself calming down as she listened to the beating of his heart and his peaceful breathing.

He felt her arms leaving his waist, knowing it was his cue to let go of her. “I don’t know what to do.” Her voice was soft. The make up that had tried to cover up her tiredness had faded due to the rain and her salty tears. 

“Any decision I’ll make will be a bad one.” She took a shakily breath as more tears threatened to fall. “I don’t even know where to sleep.” 

Tommy moved over to the couch and took the blanket she had placed on the back before. “You can stay here. Use my old bedroom.” (Y/N) watched him as she shook her head slightly. “But what about-”

“Everyone is out. We’re only using the kitchen when we’re at the betting shop.” He interrupted her while he walked back to her, handing her the blanket. “Finish your tea first, yeah?” 

She took the blanket without thinking, nodding her head. She felt so exhausted and her racing mind wasn’t helping her. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as she decided to sit back down on the sofa. Tommy sat in the same chair across from her, refilling his glass with the amber colored liquid.

“If I may be so bold (Y/N)...” Tommy leaned back as he took a cigarette from his pocket, rubbing it between his lips before lightning it. He took a drag, blowing out the smoke after. “I know that you’ve made a decision already.” 

(Y/N) looked at him. “What do you mean?” She observed Tommy who took a sip of his drink. “You made a decision when you left the hotel. The moment you walked out of the door.” 

She knew he was right. Lost for words or any rebuttal, she just took her cup from the table and drank her tea quietly.

“You need some rest and the only place you can get that right now, is here. Think about it.” He took another sip of his whiskey before standing up and making his way to the kitchen. “I’ll check if you’ll have everything you need.” Tommy calmly explained before he climbed the steps to the first floor.

(Y/N) finished her tea. Surrendering herself to the decision she had made, still not knowing if she did the right thing. She let her head rest against the back of the sofa and closed her eyes, feeling drained from today and every other day.

Not much later footsteps could be heard on the wooden stairs again as Tommy made his way back down. (Y/N) sat up, her body tensed up from the sound. “I left one of Ada’s old dresses on my bed and I’ll make sure to get you dinner.” 

She nodded, feeling overwhelmed by everything he did for her. He strolled over to the chair he was previously sitting in, leaning on the back of it. 

“Are you going home?” She wondered as Tommy checked his pocket watch. He broke his promise to be home early, to go see the horses with Charlie. He could add it on the list of all the other promises he broke. Once he arrived home, his nanny would’ve probably put him to bed already. A soft sigh fell of his lips. “Yes.” 

He stood up straight and looked at her. “There’ll be men watching the house. If anything is wrong-” 

“I’ll tell them.” She interrupted him, remembering it all too well. Tommy nodded. “Right.” He took his coat and pulled it over his suit, the fabric was still damp. “I’ll be back in an hour with dinner.” He announced as he walked to the door.

“Tommy?” (Y/N)’s voice made him turn around. “Hm?” 

“Thank you.” 

[brummiereader]

@look-at-the-soul what a whirlwind of a chapter hun ❤️! I wasn't expecting things to fall apart as quickly as they did. Poor Y/N 😩.

Scott was surprisingly sweet to her at the beginning. I can't help but think that he takes things out on her because of her and Tommy's close relationship. That and the fact that, he doesn't have a job within Tommy's business that's high ranking enough. So he's punishing Y/N for it 😤. I still don't like him, even after the flowers! They'd end up in the bin if it was me 😂.

Tommy followed her with his eyes as she stomped her foot on her way out but dismissed it a few seconds later, not understanding her attitude. He's so oblivious 🤦🏼‍♀️. But it just goes to show that, no matter how much Lizzie batts her eyelashes or smiles at him, Tommy doesn't care. And I think it might be because a certain someone is always on his mind 😌.

I always enjoy how you write the Shelby family interactions. Tommy not knowing the names of his nieces 🙄, John walking through with food on his mouth 😂, Arthur announcing he's going to be a dad among the chaos and then finally Esme not giving a shit about it 👌. Chaotic, that's exactly how I imagine their family get togethers. And you perfected it hun! Also can't help but mention how much I love the fact that Tommy's mind is elsewhere once again, missing Y/N's presence 🥰.

Oh my god! I was not expecting the next part at all! Y/N, hun...your naviety about the birds and bees is killing me 🤦🏼‍♀️😩. But it makes total sense for the time she lived in. Mother's educating their daughters on sex was taboo. It just wasn't done. And talking of mothers....what the actual hell is wrong with not only her mother but her father as well 😡!! I'm furious! What evil parents. Y/N was in the middle of the living room half her clothes shattered, kneeling on the floor and her upper body leaned over a chair, her back covered by the belt marks and blood. What a horrific, brutal scene for Tommy to walk in to. My heart breaks for that poor girl 😟. The worse part about this is, during that time this wouldn't have been unheard of. Bringing a scandal down upon a family like this would result in big consequences for the daughter. And a father belting his child was all too common. It's horrible 😔. Thank god for grandma! I'm relieved she intervened, and sought Tommy out for help.

He gave her a warning stare and mumbled; “watch me.” 😌. Don't mess with Tommy, they're lucky he didn't do anything else.

What does the future hold for poor Y/N now, with Scott not willing to be in the picture and her parents practically disowning her? Either way she's in safer hands with Tommy than she ver would be with them. But I sense more drama is on the way, and I can't wait 😍!

Every little thing you do- Part 1

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series Master list

✨So first part is finally here!! Please be aware this part is set to happen in different days therefore you’ll see a little divider in the middle… and also! There’s violence. Please note I’m trying to follow the ideas/education from back in the day so it won’t necessary fit for today’s way of seeing things.

Word count: 2,977

Waving her sister goodbye, Y/N headed outside. But to her surprise she found Scott stopping his vehicle.

“Hello sweetheart.” He greeted her with a quick kiss on her lips, she stepped back immediately in case her mother was watching behind the curtains.

“Scott, I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

“We’ll I lied and said I felt sick to get out earlier.”

This wasn’t something he’d do, but she listened to his explanation.

“I wanted to see you.”

Y/N looked over her shoulder, her parents were strict.

“You know you’re only invited for lunch and tea on Sundays.”

“I know, I know.” He moved back retrieving something from the car. “Got you these.”

“I love them, thank you.” Y/N pressed the bouquet of flowers against her chest, the fresh aroma invading her, a smile growing in her lips.

“Why don’t you go back inside and put them in water? Then meet me at the bakery around the corner.”

“Where are we going?”

Scott gave her a wide smile that took her breath away. “It’s a surprise, you’ll like it.”

Butterflies got spread all over her stomach, the expectation building. She hurried to the unexpected date.

“Listen, I want to apologize for acting shitty the other day.” Scott announced. “Can you forgive me love?”

Y/N nodded eagerly, pleased by his change of heart.

“It’s alright, just be careful next time.” Y/N suggested as he drove.

“Careful?”

“You shouldn’t have talked Tommy that way.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “There you go again, defending him. This why we fight.”

“No, Scott I don’t want a war between you two all the time, he didn’t like the way you talked to me.”

“Why does he always sticks his bloody nose in our business?”

“It’s not like that.”

“He’s always standing in the middle, I’m sick of getting orders from him, he leaves me the worst jobs just to please himself, he’s got people to do those things. I thought they wanted me to do other things, not to clean horses shit.”

“Scott I can’t interfere in your role among the gang, he already has done more than enough.”

“There it is, you’re defending him instead of being on my side…”

Y/N realized how unintentionally she always put Tommy on a pedestal, her boyfriend was right, feeling like he was belittled. She knew Tommy didn’t like him, and there was a possibility that she wasn’t impartial.

“I’ll see what I can do.” She finally gave in, not wanting to spend their time together fighting.

“That’s my girl.” He stopped the car on the sideway and began to shower her face with soft kisses.

”Do you need anything else?” Lizzie walked around the desk, resting against the bookshelf.

“What happened with the contracts you couldn’t find?” Tommy asked leaning back on his chair.

“Arthur took them by mistake.”

“Keep those locked.” He pointed a finger at her.

“Are you going to Karl’s birthday party?” She tried batting her eyelashes at him, but Tommy wasn’t looking at her.

“Yes, in a minute.”

Lizzie looked down at him again, hoping he’d ask her to join him.

“Heard Ada bought a huge cake.”

Tommy took his briefcase and hummed nonchalantly.

“I wrapped you a present for Karl, take it before you leave.”

She didn’t get a response.

Giving up to her wishes to be invited with the Shelby family, Lizzie shook her head. Collecting the remains of her dignity from the floor.

Tommy followed her with his eyes as she stomped her foot on her way out but dismissed it a few seconds later, not understanding her attitude.

The office was quiet when he crossed it, everyone had headed home already and his family were already in Polly’s house.

This was the first time he left considerably early in a long time. The need to release some stress made him reach for a cigarette. He had a dozen of things to do, a trip to London in the upcoming days, visit one of the fabrics… before he realized, Tommy parked outside Polly’s property.

Karl’s celebration was a rare family gathering. For his brothers birthdays they’d usually went to camp close to the river and drink all night. He wasn’t used to paper decorations and chocolate cake.

A small figure crashed against his legs. “Oh oh.”

Looking down, he found one of John’s kids. Was this Kate? Or Barbara?

“Careful.”

“There you are.” John appeared with a sandwich in his hand. “Go with your siblings.” He instructed his daughter.

“John.” Tommy called him mysteriously, with his hand motioning his brother to step closer. “Wipe your fucking mouth, you’ve got chocolate all over it.”

Stepping into the living room, he joined his family.

“Uncle Tommy!” Karl ran towards him with his arms open.

Tommy rubbed the kid’s back and offered him his present. “Happy birthday Karl.”

“Thank you!”

“Looks like you owe me money Pol.” Ada chuckled as she helped her son open his present.

Tommy looked from his sister to his aunt, studying them.

“Damn it. I thought he wasn’t going to show up.”

“So you made a bet?” He asked in disbelief.

He usually wouldn’t. But when it came to his sister, he made an effort.

“Where’s Y/N?” Polly asked with a frown.

“I sent her the invitation, thought you’d arrive together.” Ada explained staring at her brother.

But Tommy shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen or heard from her.”

“Shit! Pol! Help me out here!” John shouted holding his son James in his arms, he was bleeding and crying. “Smashed his fucking head.”

As Ada rushed to get some clean towels, Polly tried to comfort the child.

Stepping away from the chaos, Tommy leaned against a column to think he actually hadn’t seen Y/N in almost a week. A million thoughts filling his mind, trying to find a reason for her to be distant.

He needed to know if she was alright because she had always been close to the family, she was always considered part of it to all their gatherings; she was there for them at Freddy’s funeral, at John’s wedding…

“Now that we’re here all together, I’ve something to say.” Arthur announced stepping on a chair, oblivious that Esme and Polly were taking care of a bleeding child.

As the room went quiet, Arthur announced he and Linda were expecting a baby.

“Congratulations.” Esme managed to blurr through gritted teeth. “Now help me hold James, because I need to rearrange his arm.”

As Arthur walked past Tommy, his brother patted his arm and mumbled a low congratulations.

But the thought of Y/N not being with them, stuck in his head.

Y/N felt like sleeping on the couch. Her feet were swollen, Lady Winchester lost one of her precious earrings and decided to put everyone in the search until they found it under her vanity hours later.

Oddly her family decided to stay up late apparently as she could see the candles still on. But just as she set one foot inside, her mother pushed her abruptly.

“You’re a dishonorable daughter! We gave you everything!” One of her hands intended to land on her cheek but hit her on her ear instead.

“What happened?”

“Y-your aunt says you’re with a child, she saw you this morning and came to ask me.” Y/N’s mother was furious.

A woman came into view, her sister poking her head from the kitchen as her mother pushed her into the room next to it and closed the door. She demanded Y/N to undress and started touching her breasts.

“She’s with a child.” The elder woman confirmed, her hands still on her breasts.

Y/N’s face got paler by the second. Her mother gave the woman money and asked discretion.

A heavy silence filled the room, Y/N could hear a pin drop if someone threw one. Dizziness swept over her as her palms started to sweat.

“Your father will be so disappointed by you.” Her mother sentenced firmly. “You’re a whore, this sin will follow you from now on.”

Blood went to Y/N’s feet and she had to grab the vanity for support.

“You’ll tell Scott tomorrow and get him to ask your father’s permission to marry you before you start showing.” Y/N could hear her mother’s words as if she was underwater.

“I’ll save him the embarrassment, perhaps you can go to your grandmother’s house and hide there…” she was pacing the room as a maniac, Y/N was starting to process everything, she could hardly breathe.

“I didn’t know I could get pregnant without being married.”

Y/N’s mother laughed sarcastically. “It’s too late for that now, you should’ve waited until you got married!”

“You never told me this could happen.” Y/N felt on the edge of tears.

“I educated you with values, God only knows what you learned from that friend of yours.” Her mother mumbled something else Y/N couldn’t understand. Slowly she sat on the carpet, her skirt pooled around her hips and she finally sobbed. When one day Scott touched her breasts and it felt nice, electricity ran through her body. But he stopped right there. Then after taking her to the river, one of his hands sneaked under her skirt and moved her intimate clothes to the side and her body trembled. A week after that, he was about to start a fight with Tommy, for the night when they arrived after visiting Tommy’s new house. So in an attempt to make up for that fight, he took her to the river again and after kissing her, he told her he wanted to do something else. It had been over a month since she stepped in the middle of Tommy and Scott.

Y/N didn’t know she could feel such pleasure until he introduced himself into her body and she exploded of ecstasy. It felt right, he said he loved her and they went back a few days later.

Scott had said this should be between just the two of them, just as their love. But he never told her she could get pregnant.

Worry kept her up all night. She felt sorry for her poor father.

Covering her face with her hands, Y/N felt the tears rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

“Scott,” Y/N breathed with relief, all the worry from the past days when she hadn’t been able to reach out soon, forgotten. “I need to talk to you.”

“Y/N… I’ve to rest, haven’t had a decent sleep yet. Can we talk about this another day?” He had been out of the city, busy with God knows what, but this was important for her, for them, for their future.

Y/N studied their surroundings carefully, trying to keep her voice from shaking she placed her hands on his shoulders.

“We’re going to have a child, Scott I’m carrying your baby.” She whispered.

Scott blinked unamused by the news, his nostrils expanding profusely. Y/N wanted to reach out, to throw herself in his arms but as they were outside his house, she had to control herself. Keep her distance with him and behave accordingly.

But when he took a step back, she felt confused.

“I-I’m… this must be a mistake.”

“No, no. There’s a baby growing inside me.” She repeated, keeping her voice down. “We’ll need to figure out about the wedding, it’ll have to be something intimate and soon before it starts showing…”

“I’m not going to marry you.” Scott scoffed. “How can I be sure this child is mine? You could’ve slept with someone else just as you did with me.” He mocked her.

Before she could stop herself, Y/N found her hand flying to his cheek. Her palm tingled after the slap she gave him.

“How could you say something like that?”

“Don’t you ever dare to fucking touch me again!” He snapped. “And as for this little inconvenient… I’m not taking responsibility, you’re on your own.”

He gave her a disgusted look and walked inside his house. Leaving Y/N turned into a crying mess, she was hurt and disappointed by his reaction and terrified of the outcome.

Her mother sent her to talk to Scott to arrange the terms of the wedding and now she just realized he didn’t have her back. But what was worse, he thought she would sleep around like a whore.

Folding her arms, she walked with her head down. Guilt and embarrassment written all over her face. How would she deal with this? How would she tell her mother what Scott just said? She had been so sure she’d be able to hide it from her father by marrying Scott but now she was left in the worst possible way.

She cried uncontrollably feeling defeated, it was now too late to do something, but at the same time she didn’t know how she’d take care and raise a baby by herself.

“Where’s Scott?” Her mother hissed when her daughter appeared in her eyesight.

Y/N couldn’t speak, something heavy made her walk slowly. Her whole world was crashing down and now she’d have to face the consequences.

“He told me he wouldn’t take responsibility for a child who might not be his.” As the words left her mouth, she started crying again.

“Of course he would say that! What did you think Y/N?!” Her mother exploded. “He must think the worst of you now, how easily you have yourself away to him!”

“He told me he loved me!” Managed to shout through her tears and sobs.

Her mother’s hand flew rapidly and hit her hard.

A heavy silence surrounded them. Her cheek was burning from her mother’s slap.

“Leave Y/N!” Her grandmother intervened.

“She deserved that.” Her mother explained, she was beyond angry.

Y/N’s grandmother wrapped an arm around her granddaughter protectively.

“What happened?”

“Tell her, go on… tell your grandmother what you did.”

Y/N kept her head down, she felt like she couldn’t look her grandmother in the eyes. She had failed them terribly, the values and principles they had showed her were thrown through the window.

“No? Well, I’ll tell her myself.” Her mother warned. “Y/N didn’t wait until marriage, she gave herself away like a whore and is now with a child. Couldn’t keep her legs closed.”

“Well we’ll think of something, she won’t start showing right away.”

“There’s nothing to think mother, Scott is out of the picture he didn't accept the responsibility.”

“But he’s as responsible as Y/N.” Her grandmother pointed out thinking this wasn’t fair on Y/N.

“Your granddaughter’s honor is right on the floor, he even suggested the baby isn’t his.”

Y/N saw her mother pacing around the small room, it was making her feel sick.

“And your father arrives tomorrow… should we send her with your sister to Durham?” She pondered the possibilities thinking of her mother’s sibling.

“Absolutely not.” Her grandmother defended.

“Then what? What are we going to do?”

Y/N felt sick and rushed away from them. Her head was pounding, her stomach in a tight knot and her heart shattered into million pieces.

“Ma’am you can’t go in there.” Tommy heard from outside his office, then saw the door swing open.

“Mr. Shelby you’re the only one who can help me.”

Tommy rose to his feet in a second, the worry he found in Y/N’s grandmother raised all the alarms.

“What happened?”

“My son in law is hitting Y/N badly.” Her voice cracked, her hands reached for the sleeve of his suit. “You’ve to help her.”

Tommy took his coat from the rack and rushed to see what was happening.

“John, get Polly and meet me in Y/N’s house.” He demanded.

“I’ll go with them Mr. Shelby.” Y/N’s grandmother expressed, not wanting to make him wait.

Tommy doubted for a second, but with her hand, the elder woman ushered him, so it must be serious. Stepping in Y/N’s house without knocking because he heard her cries and pained screams from outside, but Tommy wasn’t prepared to find what he’d see.

Y/N was in the middle of the living room half her clothes shattered, kneeling on the floor and her upper body leaned over a chair, her back covered by the belt marks and blood.

He felt a rush of anger and disgust through his body. Tommy could practically taste his bile in his mouth, but as Y/N’s father was about to hit her again, he stepped in his way, holding the man’s hand firmly in the air.

“You touch her again, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Stay out of this Shelby, I’m dealing with this whore.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself or you’ll regret it.” Tommy muttered through gritted teeth.

John joined him with a couple of some of their men, they went straight to hold Y/N’s father away from her.

Y/N winced in pain when Tommy tried to help her up.

“This is a family matter!” Y/N’s mother shouted disturbed for the interruption. “You should respect that.”

“Yeah? Just like you’re respecting your daughter?” Tommy snapped, he lost all self control over this injustice.

“She has to deal with the consequences of her acts! Behaved like a whore, gets punished like one.”

Y/N felt her mother’s words like daggers to her heart. She wasn’t sure what felt more hurtful; her father’s hitting her with his belt or her mother’s words.

Tommy felt like throwing up, he apologized when he got Y/N in his arms and she complained from the pain.

“You can’t take her away!” Her mother warned, trying to stop Tommy.

He gave her a warning stare and mumbled; “watch me.”

Part 2

Divider

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[runnning-outof-time]

Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 19)

Previous Part

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: (Y/N) spends some time with the youngest member of the Shelby family before spending the night with the member she's gotten the closest to.

Warnings: language, drinking, smoking

Word Count: 4956

A/N: idk how this many words came out of me so quickly…I’m completely invested on telling the rest of their story now, and I hope you don’t mind the length of the part; I didn’t want to split it and make it have more than 20 parts. This was a fun one to write. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

There’s one part left! - expect it next week!

(Y/N) remembered the way to the Watery Lane home from when she'd walked there with Tommy a couple weeks ago. She stopped at the door and raised her hand to knock, but hesitated before she was able to as Polly's words ran through her mind: "come right in when you arrive." She heeded to the words, twisting the door's handle and entering the home.

The house was silent as she stepped into the entry room. A nervous feeling filled her as she worried she was overstepping her boundaries. She walked further into the house despite the feeling, knowing she wasn't going to make whoever was inside aware of her presence if she stayed in the doorway.

In the dining room, she found a kid. Her brows furrowed together as she wracked her brain trying to figure out who he may be. Did one of the Shelbys have a child? "Excuse me?" she decided to ask, making the boy look in her direction. "Is Polly Gray here?" she got right to the point.

"Aunt Polly had to run to the market to get a few things. She said she'd be right back," the boy answered with no hesitation.

His words made (Y/N) nod. Of course I'd come when she's out, she thought to herself while inwardly sighing. "Is anyone else home?" she tried another question. Surely this kid wasn't home alone.

"Nope, it's just me," the boy answered with a smile, speaking in a tone that let (Y/N) know this wasn't the first time he'd been left in this situation.

"Oh...ok," (Y/N) nodded slowly as she wrapped her head around the details she'd been given. "Who might you be exactly?" she decided to stop dancing around the unknowns and ask the boy the question that was on her mind since she stumbled upon him. She felt so silly asking the child such a question.

"I'm Finn," he chirped, the smile on his face telling her that he wasn't at all bothered by her asking.

"Oh, we'll it's nice to meet you, Finn, I'm (Y/N)," (Y/N) smiled politely.

"You work for my brothers, don't you?" it was time for (Y/N) to answer a question now.

"I do," (Y/N) nodded, holding her smile for a little longer. There's another Shelby sibling? she wondered, her mind then going back to when she rushed to tell Polly about Grace's schemes. Finn must've been the boy who was sleeping on Polly's lap.

"I'm working on my maths homework," Finn spoke again, his statement having nothing to do with the previous conversation. (Y/N) wanted to laugh at the abrupt change, I guess the introductions are over, she thought.

"Yeah?" she asked, prompting him to continue.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I wanted to go out and help John, but Aunt Polly told me that I need to finish my work first," he pouted slightly as he explained his situation.

"That's smart of your aunt to say...school's important," (Y/N) agreed with the decision that was made by the older woman.

"But none of my brothers finished school!" Finn protested, his brows furrowing to show his distaste with the situation.

"So then you'll be the smart one," (Y/N) smiled, "is there something I can help you with?" she asked him then, taking a few steps over to where he was sitting.

"I guess," he sighed in defeat once he realized that this lady also wasn't going to let him get out of arithmetic.

"Alright," (Y/N) smiled, walking over to the open chairs so that she could sit down next to him, "let's see what you're working on here," she said, glancing over his paper. She was relieved to see that he was working on simple skills...she didn't know how much help she would be if it were any of the harder applications as it had been awhile since she'd really practiced any of them.

(Y/N) happily got into explaining the properties of the skill that he was working on, using one of the questions to show him how to efficiently do it. Finn was happy to have her complete one of the problems for him. A groan came in response when (Y/N) uttered the statement 'now it's your turn'. She was so invested in helping him that she didn't notice that a certain someone had entered the home through its side doors and was watching the interaction.

"Did I do it?" Finn asked, putting the pencil down and looking over at (Y/N).

(Y/N) checked the problem over before looking up at the boy with a smile, "you did," she told him, making a proud smile break onto his face.

"Thank you for helping me," he politely said.

"You're welcome. Do you think you can do the next one?" she raised her eyebrows, watching as he nodded; a look of determination now on his face.

"Tommy!" the unmistakable voice of Arthur Shelby’s came from the room that was adjacent to where Finn and (Y/N) were.

This made (Y/N) quickly look up and find that Tommy was standing in said room, his eyes already locked onto her. She wanted to gasp at the surprise, but instead stayed silent; staring at him like a deer in the headlights as she wondered how long he'd been standing there for. Tommy didn't remove his gaze; keeping it on her as Arthur walked up behind him. He stood still until his brother clapped him on the back and began talking, which finally made him look away. (Y/N) kept her eyes focused on him, a million different ideas of what to say running through her mind.

"I see you're here already, (Y/N)," Polly's voice came from the opposite side of the room, making her finally break her gaze from the man in the other room to see the older woman entering the room with a basket on her arm.

"I only got here a short while ago," (Y/N) answered, her cheeks heating up as she stood from the table and rushed to make herself useful. She couldn't shake the feeling of the intense gaze that was on her once more. "Is there any way I can help you?" she then offered.

"You can help me start dinner," Polly answered with a smile before she looked over at Finn.

"She was helping me with my maths, Aunt Pol!" Finn smiled proudly.

"That's very kind of her," Polly commented, smiling at the boy before she brought it over to (Y/N), who simply sent one in return. "Are you boys sticking around?" she asked Tommy and Arthur as she led (Y/N) into the kitchen area.

"Business came up," Tommy's response was short, his words making Polly sigh.

"Can't even make a bloody stew around here without having enough mouths to eat it," she grumbled, sending her nephews both a glare. She'd hoped that the family would actually be around for the family dinner.

"We'll get some later, Pol," Arthur promptly assured her.

"Can I go with them?" Finn asked with hopeful eyes.

"You've not finished your maths," Polly pointed out, telling him 'no' without even saying the word. Her response made the boy's shoulders slump.

"You'll come some other time," Arthur said to his youngest brother, patting him on the shoulder as he walked towards the archway.

Tommy followed close behind, moving around the kitchen to get to the door that Polly had just entered through. (Y/N) stood next to where Polly was unloading her things, waiting to be of use wherever she'd be needed. Tommy walked past her wordlessly, instead placing his hand against the small of her back as he went by; much like one would do when they're in close quarters with someone. Except they weren't in close quarters at all. (Y/N) froze up slightly at the touch, shocks running through her skin where his hand had brushed as he went. She watched him go, wanting so bad to say something, but her mind was coming up empty.

It wasn't until he exited the room that she looked at Polly again. She felt her cheeks heat up as she found the older woman looking at her with an expectant expression present on her face. (Y/N) smiled at her, trying to play things off like she hadn't reacted the way she did to Tommy's touch.

But, of course, Polly was too bright to believe the act. "I know all of what happened in Sheffield, (Y/N)," she stated, her lips pursed together as she tried to conceal her grin. (Y/N)'s eyes widened and jaw went slack; a wordless way to ask 'what?'. "Ada shares way too much with me sometimes..." she trailed off, letting the younger woman know that she knew about the elephant in the room.

"Do you...will you need help with any of the cooking?" (Y/N) tried to deflect, hoping that her flushed nature wouldn't appear too apparent.

Polly looked her over for a moment before she tasked her with chopping up some of the vegetables. The two women worked silently, and (Y/N) was happy that she was able to get past that topic with only slight hiccups...or so she thought. "Thomas doesn't let very many people in, you know," she brought the topic back into discussion. Her statement made (Y/N) look in her direction. "He acts differently when he's with you."

"He does?" (Y/N) thoughtlessly asked her.

"He does," Polly nodded, "you're good for him. He needs someone like you in his life; someone who'll stay by his side," she said in a definitive tone.

"Oh, I don't know, Pol..." (Y/N) began to speak, wanting to say that she wasn't quite sure where she and Tommy really stood in…those regards.

"I do know," Polly cut her off, an assured expression present on her face, "and I'm never wrong in affairs of the heart," she insisted, raising her eyebrows slightly. (Y/N) only smiled at her, unable to think of anything to say in response.

The two women continued on with making the stew, preparing and cooking it, and then setting out on the table for the three remaining people in the house to eat. They were working on cleaning things up when the door to the home opened again. Ardent footsteps sounded off of the hardwood, and soon Tommy was visible as he quickly made his way over to the kitchen.

"Dinner?" Polly asked him, stopping her wiping of one of the dishes.

"No," Tommy shook his head before his gaze fell on (Y/N), "I need you to come with me."

"Me?" she asked in surprise, gesturing to herself as her eyebrows raised.

"Yes," Tommy nodded, haste present in his tone, "I need to take you somewhere," he kept his reasoning vague.

(Y/N) glanced over at Polly for a moment then. The older woman only nodded in Tommy's direction. Seeing that she'd get no help there, she exhaled a sigh and walked to Tommy's side. "Let's go," she stated, sharing her decision with him. Tommy nodded at her and (Y/N) sent one last glance in Polly's direction before she followed him out of the door.

—

"Where are we going?" (Y/N) asked as they walked to the outskirts of town. The walk was quiet so far; Tommy hadn't shared a lick of information about where their destination was, or why they were even going there.

"I need to check on something," Tommy answered, taking another drag from the cigarette he'd been smoking.

"And I needed to join you?" she asked another question, her eyebrows raised.

"I couldn't come alone," he answered matter-of-factly, "and I can trust you. You won't be on me with questions," he added, throwing his cigarette to the ground before he looked over at her, tucking his hands into his pockets as they walked.

"Oh," was all (Y/N) said in response, now feeling silly for asking questions when the reason she'd been accompanying him was because he thought she wouldn't. But the way he said it didn't make it sound like he was angry that she was.

"We're nearly there," Tommy commented, looking ahead once again.

The two walked up a hill and a graveyard came into view. (Y/N)'s eyebrows furrowed at the sight, but she stayed silent. There was a reason why they'd come here. That reason came into view as a grave that was marked with the name 'Daniel Owens'.

"Fuck," Tommy breathed, aggravation present in exclamation.

"What's wrong?" (Y/N) asked, hoping to gain some insight as she looked at what seemed to be a freshly dug grave.

"They found them," his answer was abrupt, and it made (Y/N) even more lost. Who found what? "The guns...they've found the guns," Tommy spoke again, making (Y/N) realize that she'd voiced her thought instead of keeping it to herself. She couldn't let herself react though...now wasn't the time to get self-conscious over a slip up.

"What happens now?" she asked, hoping that he wouldn't get even more upset by the fact that she was, once again, doing the exact opposite of what he hoped she would.

"I've lost my bargaining power. This copper...Campbell...it's just me and him now..." he trailed off, exhaling the rest of his breath as a frustrated sigh, "fuck," he said under his breath, looking off to the cityscape as he tried to wrap his head around the change of events.

"I'm sorry, Tommy," (Y/N) spoke up after a few moments passed. Her stomach had been tied in knots since the mention of Campbell. That name alone made her realize what had happened and now the guilt was building up higher by the second.

"About what, love?" Tommy asked her, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I knew..." she admitted, trying - and failing - to swallow the lump in her throat before continuing, "I knew about Grace; that she was working with Campbell; that she was trying to take your family down, and I didn't tell you. I don't know why I didn't, I...I just figured that..."

"I knew about her, (Y/N)," Tommy cut her off before she could stumble through the rest of her admission. His voice held no prominent emotion; his mind was still reeling from his discovery. "Pol told me; before we left for Sheffield. She said that she was going to deal with it; that you and I should focus on what needed to be done," he explained what he had known for a few weeks now.

"I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you," she didn't take his statement and let the topic drop, the guilt still present inside of her.

"It's fine, (Y/N)," he assured her, his eyes slightly wider as he tried to get her to realize that she'd not done anything wrong.

"Yeah, but..."

"Love, let it go, eh?" he cut her off before she could explain herself any further. He had a pointed expression on his face, and its presence made her realize that she wasn't going to get any further on the topic. So she nodded her head, conceding to his request. "Let's go," he said then, not having any other reason to stick around the graveyard any longer.

(Y/N) nodded again, adding a soft 'ok' before she fell in beside Tommy and began walking back into the city.

"I saw you with Finn earlier," Tommy spoke again after they'd been walking for a few minutes.

"Yeah...he's a sweet boy," (Y/N) smiled at the thought of the child.

"He needs someone like you to help him..." Tommy began, glancing over at (Y/N) momentarily before continuing, "me brothers and I are no use when it comes to things like that. Pol tries to help, but..." he trailed off again, tilting his head to the side as he tried to think of the proper words to describe what it was that Polly does. He sighed when nothing came to mind, "yeah...it's good he's got you," he decided to end it there, looking at her again.

(Y/N) smiled at the sentiment Tommy had just shared with her. "I'd be happy to help him," she stated, feeling honored that he felt that way.

They turned the corner then, making the Garrison come into view. "Join me for a drink?" Tommy asked her when they were a few steps away.

"Sure," (Y/N) answered with a soft smile, not seeing anything wrong with the offer.

Tommy nodded as he heard her answer and opened the door to the tavern, letting her enter first before following behind her. The room was basically empty, save for Polly and Harry standing at the bar.

"Here he is," Polly stated, exhaling a sigh of relief.

"What?" Tommy was confused by her unusual greeting, his brows furrowed as he looked between the two.

"I just got word from my brother in Digbeth. He said that there's police coming down from Deritend in numbers and that they're asking for you by name," Harry told Tommy the information that he'd been given. (Y/N)'s throat dried up as she realized what that meant.

"Fuck," Tommy breathed, tipping his head back in exasperation. This day was getting worse by the second.

"You'll have to go somewhere, lie low for the night," Polly voiced a possible plan.

"Where?" Tommy asked no one in particular.

"Come with me," (Y/N) suggested before anyone could say anything else. The rest of the group looked at her, and she instantly felt the desire to shrink into herself; now thinking that her idea was bad.

"That's a good idea. Go with her until the dust settles," Polly agreed with the younger woman's suggestion. Tommy didn't say anything right away. Instead he kept his eyes fixed on (Y/N).

"The police are in the lane, Tommy!" Finn's panicked voice came from the door that he'd hastily opened.

"Go on, go," Polly ordered the two, nodding her head to the building's side door.

Tommy only nodded before turning and walking over to said door. (Y/N) hurried along behind him, following him out the door and into the alleyway. Nothing was said as they quickly made their way to her apartment, making sure to take all of the off streets so they wouldn't be found.

A relieved breath escaped (Y/N)'s lips when they were finally behind her apartment's closed door. "I don't think anyone noticed us," she said once she'd finished locking the door.

"We'll be fine," Tommy responded, not an ounce of worry in his words.

"You'll be staying the night then?" she asked him.

"I'd say I would be," his answer was simple, and a surge of something indescribable shot through (Y/N) as she heard him say it.

She found it ironic that Tommy was now hiding out across the hall from where the person who ratted him out lived. Of course she didn't know if said person still lived there, and she wasn't about to go knock and find out, but the idea of it all just seemed so funny to her.

"It's late, I..." (Y/N) paused, wondering if it would be proper to even announce this to him, "I'm going to go and get changed for the night," she decided to continue on with sharing her plans. Tommy nodded after hearing her statement. It's not like he could have really said no to her...this was her home after all. (Y/N) nodded also before she went to her bedroom and changed her clothing for a sleeping gown and a robe.

When she returned to the main room, she found Tommy sitting at the table with a glass in front of him. "I hope you don't mind," he stated, motioning to the bottle sitting on the table.

"I see you found my stash," she grinned at him, moving over to the cupboard to grab a glass before she sat across from him, "I don't mind, you just have to share with me...you promised me a drink, remember?" she reminded him, holding the glass out to him. He got to pouring, filling her glass up halfway.

Silence fell between them then as they stared at each other. (Y/N) kept her hand fastened to the glass, unable to break herself from the trance she felt like she was being sucked into. Why did his eyes have to be so mesmerizing? Why did his gaze have to be so intense? It was like he was sizing her up; his eyes combing over every inch of her face.

Tommy was waiting for (Y/N) to take the lead in the conversation. He knew that she was grappling with something; he could see it in her eyes. He was desperate to know what was on her mind, but he didn't want to force her into saying it.

"Have I done something wrong?" (Y/N) was the first to speak, finally blurting out the question that had been circling her brain since their tense interaction at the Garrison yesterday.

"What?" Tommy questioned her, his brows now furrowed. He didn't expect that type of question from her.

"Yesterday, at the office. That was the first time I saw you since Sheffield, and you seemed closed off towards me. It made me wonder if I...that maybe I did something wrong, or that maybe we did something that you regret," she explained herself, her voice trailing off at the end so that the last eight words were uttered at a lower volume.

Tommy heard them loud as day though. They made him think; wondering why she was caught up on their interaction...why she was second guessing what had happened between them before they left Sheffield? Why would she think that he regretted it? He'd be waiting to do that for so long. "(Y/N), I don't..."

"Police, open up!" a loud voice and incessant knocking interrupted Tommy before he could quell her worries.

The knocking continued as (Y/N)'s eyes widened, realizing that they were surely looking for Tommy. "You need to hide!" she whisper-yelled to him, dramatically pointing to the door of her bedroom. Tommy nodded, still a little too calm for her liking.

She then realized that she was going to have to speak to these coppers. Shit. She walked to the door after a deep breath to contain herself. "Can I help you?" she asked once she opened the door to see two police officers. She hoped that she came off as composed.

"We're looking for Thomas Shelby, have you seen him?" the one officer asked in a gruff voice while the other peered around her into the apartment.

"I've not seen him," (Y/N) shook her head, hoping the interaction would end there.

But of course, it didn't. "You work at the Garrison, correct?" the copper asked another question.

"Correct," (Y/N) gave a brief answer.

"And you've not seen him?" the second man jumped in, his eyebrows raised.

"No, sir," (Y/N) answered with a shake of her head, feeling much more composed now, "I am merely an employee at his establishment." The man who asked the question raised his eyebrows, looking as though her answer wasn't sufficient enough for him. (Y/N) caught that and happily added on, "you don't see your boss and keep tabs on his whereabouts every single day, do you?" she raised her eyebrows right back at him, annoyance seeping into her words.

She was met with silence from both of them. Clearly they couldn't dispute her statement.

"I thought not," she said with a single nod, pleased with the outcome, "it's late, and I'm clearly in my sleeping gown. Are there any more questions you need to ask me?" she asked them, her tone flat as she raised her eyebrows once more.

"No, ma'am," the first officer answered, sounding defeated.

"Good. Goodnight, officers," she said her farewell, not even giving them enough of a chance to respond before she shut the door on them.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips once she was behind the partition again. She was happy that she was able to keep up an innocent front while answering their questions.

She was still taking a moment to herself when Tommy emerged from the bedroom. In her absence, he'd taken off his coat and shirt, leaving him in an undershirt and trousers with suspenders holding them up. Seeing him just about made her melt. He looked so different now; more comfortable and, dare she say it...content.

"Thank you, (Y/N)," he said to her as he walked out into the living area.

"You're welcome," she sent a small smile in return. Silence returned to the room again, and it made (Y/N) remember where they'd left off on their conversation before the officers came to the door. As much as she was wondering what was on his mind, she didn't know if she could take anymore excitement for the evening. "It's, uh...it's getting late. You can use my bed tonight," she broke the silence, offering him a place to sleep.

"No, I'll stay on the couch," Tommy turned down her offer with a slight shake of his head. He didn't want to take the bed from her...that would be very ungentlemanly of him.

"Then I'll stay out here with you," (Y/N) was quick to say, her words noticeably catching Tommy off guard, "in case anymore visitors come knocking," she added, hoping that adding reasoning improved her grounds for saying it.

"Expecting someone?" Tommy questioned in a tone that (Y/N) couldn't quite decipher. She wasn't sure if he was kidding or being serious. She hoped it was the latter.

"No, but I am harboring a fugitive," she decided to go the joking route, poking fun at him as she cracked a smile. She was relieved when he chuckled at her statement.

"Fair enough," he nodded his head, a smile breaking through on his lips. (Y/N) took reverie in the sight.

"Shall we?" she awkwardly asked after a few, quiet moments had passed, wanting to kick herself for how she then motioned to the couch in the room. Her question made Tommy's smile widen though, so she took it as a victory.

They both moved over to the couch. Silence fell around them, once again, but this time it was comfortable.

"I don't regret anything that happened between you and I, (Y/N)," Tommy was the one to break the silence this time. His words made her eyes snap in his direction. He saw her surprise and decided to continue, "there's a lot happening...with the races coming up, and now Campbell finding the guns. My mind's full, but I don't regret what happened between us."

"I..." (Y/N) trailed off, her mind going too fast for her to keep up. She was hoping for him to say something like this, but now that he did, she didn't have a clue of what to say back. "Thank you for letting me know," she lamely said, wanting to kick herself yet again for going the awkward route.

Tommy opened his mouth then, looking like he was about to say something as his eyes searched her face, but after a moment he decided against it and exhaled a slight sigh, looking off to the wall again. "Do you mind if I smoke?" he asked her.

"I don't," she answered with a soft smile, all the while wondering what it was that he was going to say at first.

Tommy nodded upon hearing her answer, standing from the couch to fish his cigarettes out of the pocket of his suit jacket. He then moved to the opposite side of the room, not wanting to be on top of her as he lit up a match. His mind was reeling with all of the things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her that he needed her, that she was important to him, and that he felt that things would turn out fine as long as she was by his side, even moreso, things would be good if she was. But he couldn't...he just couldn't get the words out. And so he stared out the window as he smoked his cigarette.

(Y/N) busied herself with a pamphlet that was sitting on the side table. She tried to focus on reading it rather than the millions of questions that were rushing through her mind. Somehow he quelled her one worry and created ten more. What was he going to say to me?! she wanted to scream to the heavens. But she couldn't, and so she just quietly sat and 'read' over the paper in her hands.

Tommy came back over to the couch once he was finished. By that time, (Y/N) had placed the pamphlet back on the table and had relaxed across the couch. "I'm sorry, I got comfortable," she apologized as she noticed Tommy standing in front of her.

"Don't apologize, love," he brushed her statement off, watching as she hastily sat up and opened a spot for him.

"Here. Sit," she motioned to the open cushion, a sheepish smile on her face as she watched him sit down. He sent a smile as a silent thank you, and got comfortable on the couch again.

(Y/N) yawned, and not much more was said as she twisted herself and tried to get comfortable again. All the moving around probably annoyed Tommy, but the end result most certainly didn't. She finally got comfortable when she rested her head on his shoulder. By that point, she was too tired to care of the formalities, and drifted off to sleep.

Tommy stayed up for most of the night...not because he wasn't tired, but rather because he wanted to savor the moment where he felt like all of his worries were miles away…thanks to the beautiful woman who was sleeping next to him.

Next Part

Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @cilliansangel @shaddixlife @tracysnook

SERIES MASTERLIST

[brummiereader]

Uptown Girl

(Masterlist)

Summary: A woman from high society, never needing or wanting for anything. Your world of jewels and silk gowns comes crashing down around you when your father's mounting gambling debts catch up with him, and he is forced to relinquish your home Arrow House before his untimely death to his biggest creditor, Tommy Shelby. But with your name on the deeds, and the land of your childhood home your only bargaining source of income to escape the union arranged since your birth to a monster of a man from your own class. You make your intentions of staying put stubbornly known to the Birmingham gang leader, as you clutch to your only remaining hope of freedom from the inevitable chains of a violent marriage. With neither one of you willing to budge on the matter until the iron clad documents of Arrow House are reviewed, you are both begrudgingly left without any other choice but to live together. What will become of your unusual living situation with the notorious gangster, and the arranged marriage you want to be free from? A way out, friendship, lust...love? One thing is certain. Tommy Shelby's abrupt appearance into your life will open your curious eyes to a whole other world that had been shielded from you since the day of your noble birth.

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, mutual pining, smut, domestic violence, mentions of suicide, violence

Authors Note: I basically took Alfie's passing statement of how Tommy acquired Arrow House and the trope "One bed, two people" and turned it into "One house, two strangers" and ran with it! The idea for this series and it's storyline, is loosely based off the lyrics to the well known song "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel.

Teaser Trailer

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine (completed series)

Gif credit: @mushroomseb. Go check out their wonderful works of art!

[suckerforlovesblog]

Pretty little thing

Pretty little thing - Masterlist

Series summary: All Mr. Shelby wanted was to remarry. He had to find himself another wife after the death of Grace, not just to take care of his son Charlie but also to grant him access to the finer society of Birmingham. All he wanted the girl to be was a pretty little thing on his arm who simply submitted, obeyed and followed his orders.

And he did find the perfect girl - young, very good looking, of a good upbringing, smart but little did he expect her to have such a strong mind of her own…

All he wanted to do was break her in, like a horse had to be, and his new wife put up a good fight but eventually he is sure, he will break her and make her his completely.

Series warning: Dark!Tommy, toxic relationship, abuse, rape, non consensual intercourse, rough sex, age gap, Sir kink, choking - all the things that come with rough smut

Chapter 2: The betrothed

Summary: Y/N and Thomas Shelby attend a lot of social gatherings to make their elopement public. They get to know each other and Y/N warms up and starts liking to her soon-to-be husband.

Chapter Warning: age gap, swearing, manipulation, toxic relationship, oral (m receiving), questionable consent

Word count: 2.5k

~ tag list: @ncoleys , @amberpanda99 , @priyajoyy , @tommyshelbywhore , @swordofawriter @goth-cowgirl-03 @thenattitude @sheun-555 @meetmeatyourworst @bruher @frazie99 @blvebanisters @jessimay89 ~

End of May 1926:

The thought of an arranged marriage still didn’t sound quite right to Y/N but over the past month, she began to understand why her farther settled the deal so quickly. It was quickly learned that you never ever say “No” to Mr. Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders. The Peaky Blinders is the organization that is running Birmingham, everything and anything is controlled by them: The coppers, the bars, the betting shops, even the factories… Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders and Y/N fiancé was a kind and polite man towards her, trying to make her like him. An arranged betrothal was not uncommon but he really wanted to pursue people to think that they liked each other. Overall it was a business decision for Mr. Shelby and so everything was well thought through - nothing left to purely luck.

But Thomas Shelby, the tall, handsome man with the piercing blue eyes who was nearly forty had different reasons to make Y/N, the young woman he was going to marry in just a couple of weeks, like him. Firstly: it would be good for business if she actually had any affection for him rather than being just the pretty little thing on his arm that he so desperately wants her to be. Secondly, it would make everything, mostly being with him, easier for her because deep down Thomas knew he could never love another woman after Grace was taken from him.

He never desired women in the same way again, he just wanted their touch and their attention but not their hearts or minds. He turned dark after Graces death, even darker then after his return from the Great War Where where served as a tunneler at the Battle of the Somme. He did blame himself for her death because Thomas pride was the reason she wore the bewitched jewel at the event. Thus begin the explanation why she took the bullet that was meant for him, in his mind at least. Thomas then got really anxious with his son’s safety and his education, trying to be a good farther whilst grieving and trying to make it as easy for Charles as possible. And Thomas did grieve hard. Most of his time was spent outside, close to her grave: He barely slept and if he did then next to it, he did not eat nor shower. All Thomas was barely able to do was keep business going because he had a plan for the Peaky Blinders, as always. He rode his horse towards Arrow House where he usually meets with his aunt Polly and her son Michael to discuss the businesses finances. Afterwards he meet with his brothers Arthur and John to talk about the dirty work of the company’s side. But now Polly and his brothers had a different plan, a plan to get Thomas back to them and help him through his grieving period.

Everyone was gathered in the dining room where the cook had prepared a light breakfast. Polly sat across from Ada, the Shelby brothers sister, drinking a tea whilst the gentlemen preferred whiskey. Thomas opened the door and looked puzzled and enraged at the people in the room: “What are you all doing here? I gave everyone a certain job to get done and I rather not be bothered with any of you.” Polly gestured for him to sit down which Thomas did sighing.

“Well, we need you back with us. Charles needs you Tommy!”, Ada said getting up making her way to him: “He has been asking for you and…” She couldn’t finish the sentence as it seemed to get stuck in her throat. Thomas looked at her, tears swelling in his eyes. But he did not cry and got up, clearing his throat: “Ehr, yes. Indeed, all of you are right. Thank you for being here. I am getting back to business. Michael, see me in my office in about half an hour. I have to get ready.”

Thomas left the room and all the people present looked at each other, relieved.

Thomas Shelby knew he would never love another woman as much as he loved Grace. He also learned that love and affection made him vulnerable, so he promised himself that he would marry strictly for business and business alone. The time after Grace’s death was the hardest time in his life and he nearly lost himself during it.

He also knew that he came back even stronger than before and that her death was his biggest chance, now that he had his priorities straight.

All these thoughts went through his head, when he stood in front of his soon bride-to-be’s house. He knocked and entered, putting a cigarette between his lips and lightning it, “‘Ello. I am here to pick up Y/N, we have important business to attend to this evening.” Your mother nodded, telling him that you should be ready any second so Thomas waited at foot of the stairs. His eyes light up when he caught he glimpse of you and he licked his lips smirking at the view. Y/N wore a tight black dress with a white jacket on top, her hair done in the most fashionable manner, only wearing light make up. Her glance caught his, the prominent cap was pinned under his armpit and exposed his finely done hair cut - really short shaven sides and longer parts of dark hair on top. He wore a finely tailored dark suit and a white button up that hugged him perfectly. The still lit cigarette was hanging from one side of his mouth: “You look even more gorgeous than I remembered, love.” His hand wandered into his pocket and he took a black case out of it, giving it to Y/N after she made her way down the stair. “Open it. It’s for you to make the engagement official.” Y/N took the box into her gloved hands and opened it: Inside was a small golden right with a simple cut diamond in the middle of it, as well as a golden delicate wristband with some pearls. “It is really beautiful. Thank you Mr. Shelby”, she looked up at him through her eyelashes. The pure sight of her compared with the looks made Thomas hard instantly. He pictured her on her knees with her mouth open and her tongue sticking out - just for a second but he got hot immediately. Pushing the picture out of his mind, he took her elegant left hand in his, taking her glove off and brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. The heat shot into Y/N’s face and she giggled, she couldn’t deny that he was a very attractive man even though she didn’t like the thought of being his trophy. He slid the ring on her ring finger and clasped the wrist band around her left hand. “It does look really beautiful, eh?”, he asked. “Yes, very much. Thank you”, Y/N answered, looking at her hand. Thomas put the glove back on and then offered her his arm which his fiancé accepted and they made their way out of the door and into his Bentley waiting outside. He held the door open for her and then made his way around the car to get into the drivers seat.

“I need you to be on your best behavior today! I know you’re not familiar with the kind of business that my family does but today is a very important evening, so I beg you to simply smile and converse when you’re addressed. Can you do that for me?”, his sight never left the streets they were driving on. She cleared her throat: “So all I am is another toy to you? The eye candy on your arm?” “Listen, love.”, he said enraged already, “you can be anything you want at any day but please do behave today. You wouldn’t want to make me angry and get off to a bad start, would you?” She looked down at her hands, feeling the cold metal of the ring burn her warm skin, “no sir.” “What was that?” “I said, no Sir”, Y/N replied louder now. Thomas smiled, knowing that she would be easy to break and bend into the way he wanted and needed her to be.

Shortly after they arrived at a church, he parked the car, got out of his side, walked around it to open the door for her and help her out of the car. He then took her face in his hands: “We don’t know each other very well but I am really trying to make this work. I promise you that I will protect you and be a good husband.” Thomas looks from her red painted lips to her eyes and back. He slowly reduces the distance between them and she can feel his breath hot on her lips, their eyes still locked. Y/N closes the distance between them and slightly presses her lips onto his. Thomas deepens the kiss immediately licking her lips which she immediately opens for him. “Good girl”, his deep voice rumbles and he pulls her even closer to him. The kiss was passionate but short lived, leaving her breathing heavily after he pulled away. He then takes her hand and puts it onto his, leading the way into the side building where a big ball room is situated. Thomas helps Y/N out of her coat and gets the both of them a glass of champagne, “To you - to us. Our marriage”, he says before clinking his glass to hers. Both take a sip and they begin to make their way through the room. Y/N put on her best smile and most clueless and unbothered expression, trying to please Thomas, even though she was really curious to what his plan for the night was. After a couple introductions and some business related talk, Thomas asked her for a dance. “Everyone is looking at us now. Act like you’re all crazy about me, Mrs. Shelby, like this is a match made from love.”, he whispers in her ear whilst holding her close and putting his hand on the small of her back. Thomas was a rather good dancer, guiding her through the ballroom, making her head spin with the sudden closeness. She could take the whiskey and the cigarettes in his breath. It was an intoxication smell in combination with his cologne, it smelled heavenly, homely somehow. She felt safe in his embrace and then put her hands around his neck, looking deep into his crystal blue eyes, he looked back at her: his gaze was stern and cold but he did smile a little bit. Both of them just kept looking, staring into each others eyes till the dance was finished. Thomas then twirled her into his chest, hugging her and then pressed a small kiss to her plump lips. Everyone around them started to clap their hands and cheer. Y/N felt herself blush, Thomas looked arrogantly into the crowd, a small smile forming on his pretty lips. He then pulled her into his left side and put his arm around her waist while a lot of people came to celebrate and congratulate them on their beautiful engagement. Y/N did, as she was told before, smiling, shaking hands and only speaking when she was addressed directly. None of the men seemed to know that she was told to do so and all the lady’s on their arms did the same thing - smiling and being polite. Some of the women looked like their high, not certain of their surroundings. “Love”, Thomas addressed her, “you see the other women, smiling so heavenly with not a care in the world?” She nodded. “If you don’t do as your told, if you don’t obey or listen to me, the same thing will happen to you, so I advise you to be a good girl.”, he whispered. Thomas looked down at her, seeing her swallow and then nod. “And you don’t want to know what else is happening to the women that don’t listen behind closed doors. Their husbands beat them, they rape them, they even share them amongst other man of rank because after marriage the wife’s are only seen as property. After marriage they belong to their husbands and they can do whatever they please.” She cleared her throat: “I will do as you tell me, Sir.”

Her innocent look up at him and the obedience in her voice went straight to his dick. He could feel himself swell. “Come with me, sweetheart.”, he said and pulled her out of the crowd and into a back room, “I need you to do something for me.” Y/N looked at him eagerly, ready to please. “Get on your knees”, he said, his voice even deeper. She did as she was told and he let out a small moan: “You’re such a good girl. Eager to please your future husband. That’s about right, ‘eh.” He then unbuckled his belt and quickly pulled his pants down. She just looked at him puzzled. “Don’t worry, I will guide you love”, he said through gritted teeth whilst pumping his own length. He then let go and gestured for her to take the place of his hand. She did, as she was told, taking his big dick into her small hands and moving them up and down, intimidated by his earlier words. Thomas let out a small hiss, nodding and praising her. Y/N then got ambitious and stocked out her tongue to touch his tip, whereas he moaned full on and put his hands on her head, “Open your mouth.” She opened her mouth widely and he slowly entered into the wetness, giving her time to adjust and breath before pulling out to simply slam into her mouth again. He could see tears starting to stream down her face but he did hold her head in place and she, being the best fiancé, just let him fuck her mouth. She lifted her tongue, touching the underside of his shaft which made him moan through gritted teeth. He stopped and let her work, circling his massive length with her tongue, slightly bobbing her head up and down and using her teeth in the most delicious way possible. All of this made Thomas weak to his knees. Looking down at her, seeing her intimidated, following his orders so accurately and knowing that she would be easy to nurture and train, he came. Y/N let him cum into her mouth, swallowing every drop of it which made Thomas moan. “Get up”, he said, “you are even more perfect than I imagined.” He then kissed her forehead and fixed his clothing, while she fixed her make up and hair. After he checked that both of them looked presentable, they went back to the party. She did play her role very well, smiling stupidly whilst he conducted business.

[brummiereader]

@peakyswritings oh boy 😬.

It's started off so sweet, Tommy and Nina enjoying a peaceful moment together, expressing how they feel about each other and then everything went to shit in the last chapter. It was gonna happen eventually, we just didn't know when 😳.

The uncertain light of dawn showed through the lace curtains of the window, casting patterns on the walls of Nina’s bedroom. You got me in the first few lines 😍. This is such a beautiful image, only made better with them snuggled up together.

I’m yours. Heart, body and soul. Ahh, kicking my feet at this line. Finally, we get to know the deeper meaning to the title of your series. I have always attributed it Tommy, but I'm squealing that it's Nina who's thinking this. Stubborn, strong willed Nina...eek 🥰❤️!

I couldn't help but feel sad at Tommy's reply 😩. It's such a mess, and it's only made worse with the fact that them actually being together and figuring a solution out, seems near impossible at this moment 😬.

“You come to me,” he repeated. “Write a letter, jump on a fucking boat, anything. I’ll help you. You just need to reach out.” His blue eyes stared deep in hers as he spoke, a silent promise shining in them. I’ll protect you. Urghh, this feels like a little bit of foreshadowing of things to come 😳. Will Nina need to escape Italy and her family after what I read in the last scene ?? It's a scary thought...the daughter of an Italian mob boss fleeing to be with someone on the opposite side 😬.

"I really wanted it to be you,” he whispered. He kept his eyes fixated on the ceiling. Urgh, this hurts 😭. The angst is angsting so much right now!

The whole dress scene was torment. Not only for Nina, but for me the reader as well. Knowing how deeply they feel for each other and how given different circumstances, they would be the ones getting married. I honestly can't imagine how hard it was for Nina to not only be there supporting her cousin, but to be the one to make a suggestion about the dress her cousin would wear to marry the man she's in love with 😩.

I honestly wasn't expecting the next scene in this chapter. And I didn't think Tommy would finally put a stop to the whole charade and make it clear to Nina that the marriage with her cousin wouldn't be going ahead.

Nina looked at him defiantly, as if to assess just how unyielding he could be. “So you’re digging now.” - “I’m digging now.” I loved these lines, it felt very Tommy 😍.

But the sweet moment and admission of feelings for each other was snatched away...NOOOO! I'm scared for Tommy, actually scared for him. I'm not sure he can "dig" his way out of this mess. And oh my god, Agnese 😳😡! What the actual 🤬. Come on, you can't tell me she's in love with Tommy?! What I'm worried about now is, are they gonna force this marriage to happen, as well as force Nina to marry Stefano 😱?

I'm so eager to see what happens next! I'm preying Ninas intelligence trumps her brother's brash reaction when she's faces her father, because fuck....this is messy, in the bestest of ways 😍.

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART XII

Summary: After what happened during the engagement party, Tommy and Nina allow themselves to indulge in their feelings for one another. But they must not forget dangerous games end in blood.

Warnings: time-typical misogyny, talks of arranged marriage, talks of forced marriage, mentions of killing, mentions of sex, threats, violence, injuries, angst, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s). This is set between season 1 and 2. English is not my first language.

A/N: as always, some conversations are supposed to be in Italian but for obvious reasons I kept them in English.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gif credits

Dividers credits

The uncertain light of dawn showed through the lace curtains of the window, casting patterns on the walls of Nina’s bedroom. She was resting with her head on Tommy’s chest, lulled by the sound of his heartbeat, as his fingertips delicately traced her spine.

He had kept his promise. After the engagement party, after everyone had gone to bed, he had knocked on her door, ever so softly, to make sure no one else would hear. And she had let him in. How could she say no to those fleeting moments when they were all they could ever have? How could she deprive herself of them when she knew that Tommy would be taken from her so soon?

It scared her how much she needed him. Try as she might, she couldn’t fathom how it could be possible that she, who had never needed anyone, needed him. Tommy had awakened something dormant inside of her that she couldn’t keep under control. It made her vulnerable, it made her weak, it made her unreasonable. And then there was that absurd certainty that they hadn’t met each other, they had recognised each other. Although Nina had never believed in destiny, she was sure that her soul knew him before she did. There was an invisible string, no matter how tangled, that had always tied her to him.

“What did you do to me, Tommy Shelby?” she whispered, drawing circles on the bare skin of his abdomen. “I’m yours, now.”

Here it comes. The last of the walls Nina had so carefully built around her over the years tumbled down. But it didn’t happen with a crash. No loud noise, no earthquake. The fall was silent.

I’m yours. Heart, body and soul.

Tommy threaded his fingers through her long locks. “No,” his chest vibrated against her ear as he spoke, a bitter melancholy lacing his words. “You’re not mine.”

A silence heavy with resignation fell between them. Tommy was right, he’d never be able to call her his and she’d never be able to call him hers. Not in the actual sense, at least. But in her heart Nina knew that a part of her would always belong to him, no matter how far away they would be.

Tommy took her hand in his, lifting it to slowly weave their fingers together. “What will you do?” he asked, and he didn’t need to say more for Nina to understand what he meant.

She pondered her answer. What would she do? Could she really go back to the life she had before, as if Tommy were never there? Could he really become just a distant memory? No. Nothing could ever be the same. Not after what he had left her. He had taught her feelings she was sure would never belong to her. He had filled the empty spot she didn’t even know she had inside her heart. He would always be a part of her.

“I’ll figure it out,” she just said. But her words echoed with the shadow of something unsaid, a silent worry that he caught nonetheless.

“What if they make you marry him?”

“They won’t.”

“What if they do?”

She didn’t reply.

“I can’t stand and watch you marry that bastard.”

“If it comes to that, you probably won’t be here to watch,” she cracked a joke, but Tommy’s expression stayed serious. She shifted to lay on her stomach, raising her head from his chest to look at him. “It won’t happen,” she said, slightly shaking her head. “I’ll find a way.” She tried to keep her voice steady in her attempt to reassure him, but even to her ears it sounded too uncertain to hold any real belief.

Tommy brought his hand to cup her face, his thumb gently stroking her skin. “If you don’t, you come to me, understand?”

“Tommy…” Nina shook her head, trying to move away from him, but his grip slightly tightened to make her look at him.

“You come to me,” he repeated. “Write a letter, jump on a fucking boat, anything. I’ll help you. You just need to reach out.” His blue eyes stared deep in hers as he spoke, a silent promise shining in them. I’ll protect you.

It was wishful thinking. She knew it, he knew it. But apparently the thought of being able to do something about it made it more bearable for both of them.

“Alright,” she conceded, resting with her head on his chest again. Tommy seemed to catch that subtle way to tell him she didn’t want to talk about that possibility anymore, cause he dropped the matter. Nina was glad for it. She didn’t want to spend the last minutes they had for themselves talking about Stefano.

Looking up at him, she found herself once again captured by his beauty. She remembered how the first time she had properly looked at him, it had seemed to her that every feature, every detail had been carved out of marble by a sculptor whose intent was to make something perfect. She traced her finger along the small scar under his chin. If someone had told her she’d end up thinking stuff like that, she wouldn’t have believed them.

A sigh lifted Tommy’s chest. “I really wanted it to be you,” he whispered. He kept his eyes fixated on the ceiling, as if the sudden sincerity of his words had made him too vulnerable, and he needed to put some distance between himself and her gaze to feel less exposed.

Those words felt like a knife going through her heart. Me too, she thought to herself. But she didn’t dare say it.

“I would’ve made your life hell,” she said instead, letting out a half chuckle, but there was no humour in it. Just a painful longing.

“I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

Sitting at her desk, Nina fidgeted with her pen, staring at the white page in front of her. Tommy had left less than an hour ago, and she hadn’t been able to find it in herself to go downstairs and face another day. For a while, she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

Her father’s words still echoed in her mind. What do you want to do with your life? The previous day she hadn’t been able to give him an honest answer. She wasn’t even sure she knew what the exact answer was. Or maybe she knew, but that answer was something she couldn’t understand, let alone explain.

It had to do with the stillness. It was all around her: in the house, in the village, in people. It was as if the clock had stopped working somewhere in time, trapping all of them into a flat, motionless dimension they weren’t aware of. Every action, every event was part of a script they didn’t need to read, cause it was rooted in their very being. Inside that stillness, her mind couldn’t find rest. She wanted to do. Something, anything. There was a restlessness inside her, an urge, a yearning. An itch. The itch to destroy everything, to blow everything up. To tear herself apart and put the pieces back together in a different way. To dismantle and rebuild. To step outside the imaginary door that stood between her and the world, to leap into the void. To let go of the fear of the unknown. To be brave. To act. Not to submit.

Nina wrote down those thoughts, in the hope that all that poison would flow from her brain to her arm, from her arm to the ink, then spill over onto the page and purify her mind, even if just for a while. It worked, most of the times. That was how she got entire notebooks filled with scattered thoughts, memories, incoherent words that she probably wouldn’t have been able to give an order to herself. Sometimes she struggled to decide whether she wrote to keep track of her feelings or to get rid of them.

Then, for the first time, she found the courage to write about Tommy. Never had she mentioned his name in her diary, for fear that it would make everything too real. But that was a step she needed to take. She wrote about how seen he had made her feel. About how, for some reason she couldn’t understand, he accepted her as she was. About how she wished she had never let him close to her.

Because she was causing him nothing but pain.

“I’m not sure this looks good on me,” Agnese whined, looking at herself in the mirror of the dressmaker’s shop. She turned from side to side, making it an arduous task for the poor seamstress to fix the wedding gown on her.

Sitting on a small sofa next to her aunt Rita and her cousins, Rosa and Sofia, Nina rested with her chin on her hand, staring blankly into space. After two hours and eight wedding dresses, Agnese’s hopes to find the one were slowly sinking. Just like Nina’s hopes for that torture to end. She would’ve gladly spared herself the inconvenience, hadn’t her cousin been so convincing in telling her she would never, ever, be able to choose a dress without her help. Nina wasn’t sure that was the case, but she couldn’t just say no without any apparent reason. So there she was, drowning among inches of satin, silk, lace and tulle, trying to ignore her aunt’s displeased looks. She wasn’t happy to have her there, and she was doing absolutely nothing to hide it.

“Nina, what do you think?” Agnese turned to her, pleading her with her eyes to say something. That only seemed to antagonise aunt Rita more, who had well understood that her daughter valued her cousin’s advice way more than hers or her sisters’.

Nina blinked, searching for the details of all the dresses she had watched her try on in the fog of her mind and comparing them to the one she was wearing now. “I liked the other one better.”

“The one I tried on before this?”

“Yes.”

“That one was horrible,” aunt Rita said bitterly, straightening her back.

Nina had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. Of-fucking-course. “I liked it,” she shrugged.

“That’s cause you have no taste,” Sofia remarked, scrunching her nose, making Rosa let out a giggle.

Nina took a deep breath, trying her best not to let them get to her. An arduous task. She had little patience left, and she wasn’t sure she’d succeed in refraining from throwing hands. She stretched her legs in front of her, leaning with her back against the cushions. “Yes, you’re right,” she said nonchalantly, aware that her indifference would vex them way more than any nasty retort.

“You could still wear my old dress,” aunt Rita suggested, a hint of hope in her voice.

Please no, Nina widened her eyes, recalling the puffy sleeves and voluminous frills. Not to mention that sort of horrendous bib at the neck. She sent her cousin a look, who looked back at her with the exact same expression. Aunt Rita had expressed more than once her desire to see her daughter wearing her old wedding gown, going as far as making her try it on three times in order to convince her. The idea itself wouldn’t be bad, if it weren’t for the fact that it was the ugliest, tackiest dress they both had seen in their entire lives. And as much as Nina wasn’t happy to see Agnese marrying Tommy, she still didn’t wish for her to look ridiculous.

She let her gaze wander across the room, hoping that among the profusion of frocks and fabrics she’d find a dress good enough to save Agnese from that possibility. But something else caught her eye. An unfinished sketch was resting on the small table in front of her. She leaned forward to take a better look at it, furrowing her eyebrows as an idea began to take shape into her head.

“Zia, you said you liked the third one, right?” she asked her aunt.

“That was nicer, yes.”

“But you didn’t like the sleeves,” she continued, this time talking to Agnese, who promptly shook her head.

“I liked the sleeves of the one you suggested,” she said. “And the floral details. But I’m not sure about the skirt.”

“So you’d like the third one, if it had those sleeves and those details.”

Agnese bit her lips, squinting her eyes as if she was trying to picture what the dress would look like. “Yes,” she said eventually. “Yes, that would be perfect.”

“Perhaps,” Nina turned to the seamstress, speaking in her nicest tone. “The dress could be modified, by changing the sleeves and adding the floral details.”

The woman wavered, undoubtedly thinking about the little time she had at her disposal to make the changes.

“If you’ll be so kind to forgive our short notice and make us a little favour, that is,” Nina added persuasively. “We know it’s lots of work, but we trust your ability to make that… perfect dress, to use my cousin’s words.”

The seamstress’s expression changed, a small smile appearing on her face at the praise. Nina had to hold back a grin. Just as she thought.

“The silhouette seemed to be made just for her, after all,” she pushed a bit more. Then she paused, as if thinking about something. “Ah, I bet everyone will want to know where she got it,” she concluded, slightly shaking her head.

Much to Nina’s satisfaction, that seemed to do the trick. The seamstress nodded, clasping her hands together. “It can be done,” she asserted, clasping her hands together. “This lovely girl deserves the dress of her dreams.”

“Perfect.” Agnese’s face broke into a big smile, her eyes lighting up with joy. “What do you think, mum?”

Aunt Rita pursed her lips, visibly annoyed by the fact that Nina, of all people, had just found the solution to what up until a few minutes prior seemed like the biggest issue in the world. “If it makes you happy, I’m happy,” she conceded.

Agnese clapped, giggling to herself, then she glanced at Nina, a grateful look on her face. Thank you, she mouthed. Nina smiled back, but a sudden melancholy rose into her chest.

It was happening. Tommy and Agnese were getting married. And she could do nothing but stand and watch as she lost the only man who had made her question everything she had ever believed about herself.

When she came back home, Nina found Tommy standing right outside the front door, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a cigarette. His head was hanging low, but she still caught the glimpse of a frown on his face. There was something off with him. He was serious, even more than usual, and there was a stiffness in his posture that gave away how tense he truly was. She took her time to walk up the steps, waiting for her aunt and cousins to walk into their own home before approaching him.

She could feel his piercing eyes on her as she fumbled with her keys, hands slightly shaking like every time she was aware he was looking. God, she was such a mess.

Tommy took one last drag from his cigarette, then he threw it away with a nervous gesture. “I need to talk to you,” he said lowly, blowing a cloud of smoke.

Nina’s heart skipped a beat at his words, her mind starting to race with all the different possibilities. Maybe something bad had happened. Maybe they had been too reckless, and someone had found out about them. She pushed away that thought. If that were the case, all hell would’ve broken loose by now. Then what was it he wanted to talk to her about?

“Wait,” she murmured, carefully taking a look around to make sure no one was near. Having established there were no prying eyes, she grabbed his arm, taking him to a more secluded area of the garden, away from the windows of the house.

Realising she was still holding on to him, Nina let her hand fall, feeling a rush of warmth rising up to her cheeks. “Go on,” she encouraged him, her voice coming out more apprehensive than intended.

Tommy’s icy gaze swept over her face, his eyes holding an intensity that made her knees buckle. “I can’t marry your cousin.”

It took Nina a while to register what he had just said. She blinked a few times, half-convinced she hadn’t heard him right. “Wha… what?” she furrowed her brows, instinctively withdrawing.

Tommy gently placed his warm hands on her arms, not allowing her to recede further. “I can’t marry your cousin,” he said once again. “Because I want you.”

Nina gaped at him, frantically trying to make sense of what he was telling her. He couldn’t actually mean it, could he?

“Tommy, are you out of your mind? My family-”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted her, voice steady.

“You can’t possibly-”

“Look at me,” he cut her off again, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t care,” he repeated, more softly.

Nina swallowed, feeling incredibly weak under his stare. No one had ever shown her so much devotion, so much tenderness. That man was ready to risk his own life for her, and she couldn’t understand why. She couldn’t understand what she had done to deserve all that affection. She couldn’t explain to herself the fondness in his eyes. It was too painful to bear. It was almost enough to make her cave.

Almost.

“They’ll kill you,” she argued.

“They won’t.”

“How are you going to prevent it, exactly?”

Tommy hesitated for a moment, licking his lips. “Somehow.”

“Somehow?” she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “That’s your grand plan?” She took an abrupt step back, the word incessantly replaying in her head. “Somehow,” she scoffed, shaking her head. She rubbed her eyes, and when she spoke again she was taken aback by how tired her voice sounded. “Tommy, there’s no way out of this, we need to accept it.”

There was no point in keeping on hurting each other like that, dwelling over what could’ve been had things been different. It was late, too late.

But Tommy didn’t seem fazed, his face bearing a look of steely determination that brooked no argument. “The thing about me,” he said, “is that I always dig my way out.”

Nina looked at him defiantly, as if to assess just how unyielding he could be. “So you’re digging now.”

“I’m digging now.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, averting her gaze. She would be lying, if she said she wasn’t tempted to say yes. To screw everything up and deal with the consequences later. To put her feelings first, for once. And he was making it harder and harder for her to stand firm.

Tommy closed the distance between them with a long stride, standing so close to her she could feel the heat radiating from him. His familiar scent filled her nostrils, making her head spin. He cradled her face in his hands, tilting her head up. “You said to me you’re not worth starting a war over. You’re wrong. I’d start a thousand fucking wars and gladly fight each one of them if it meant that I got to keep you by my side.”

That display of bare, raw vulnerability left Nina completely disarmed. Tommy was standing in front of her, laying his fragile, troubled heart in her hands, stripped of all protection, and she had no idea what to do with it. She wanted to hold it gently, to handle it with care, yet it seemed to her that she could only be capable of crushing it. She brought her hands to his wrists, thumbs lightly rubbing over his skin.

“Say yes,” Tommy went on, looking straight into her eyes, “and I’ll go talk to your father right now.”

He was dead serious, she could see it on his face. There was no hint of uncertainty in his demeanour. He knew what he wanted, and he meant it when he said he’d find a way out.

She remembered what he had told her the previous night, about how he’d never let anything bad happen to her. She had believed him then and she believed him even more now. Once again, Tommy took the shape of something solid, steady. Something she could trust. Before she could think about what she was doing, Nina pressed her lips on his. His mouth was warm and soft against hers, his hands tender as he brought her even closer. He felt familiar, and safe. Like a shelter, or a shield.

Then he was yanked away from her by some brutal force. Before she could register what was happening, someone grabbed her by the shoulder, screaming something she was in too much of a shock to understand.

It wasn’t until she saw Pietro landing a punch on Tommy’s face that Nina came back to herself.

“Did you ruin her?” he barked, roughly grabbing Tommy by the collar. “Did you fucking ruin her?”

Nina watched in horror as her brother turned into a being she could barely recognise. His face was red, a vein was swelling on his neck, and his bloodshot eyes blazed with ferocity.

“Pietro, stop,” she darted forward, freeing herself from the hand holding her shoulder.

She didn’t go far. A string of curses left Salvatore’s mouth as he snatched her arm with such force to make her turn around. He towered over her, menacing, digging his nails into her skin. “Iu t’ammazzu, giuru ca t’ammazzu,” he growled, baring his teeth. Dark eyes glaring with fury, he raised his hand, causing her to flinch away in fear. (I’ll kill you, I swear I’ll kill you.)

“Oi,” Tommy reacted immediately, managing to shake Pietro off. But the eldest of the Ferrante siblings was quick to catch him again. Tommy clenched his jaw, jerking his head towards what was happening a few feet away from them. “You might wanna fucking stop him,” he snarled.

The fiery rage that had seemed to take over Pietro started to fade, giving way to an icy composure. He turned to his brother, a warning look in his eyes. “Calmati,” he told him, voice low but firm. (Calm down.)

As if subject to his will like a dog to its owner, Salvatore gritted his teeth, reluctantly letting his hand fall by his side. His other hand loosened its hold on her arm, although still not letting go. Nina exhaled in relief. She hadn’t even noticed she had been holding her breath the whole time. It wasn’t the first time she witnessed an outburst of anger from her brother, but until then it had never, never, been directed at her.

“Portiamolo da papà,” Pietro ordered, tilting his head towards the house. (Let’s bring him to dad.)

“Wait,” she tried to take a step forward, but Salvatore’s grip on her tightened.

“Zitta,” Pietro glared at her, a silent threat in his eyes. (Shut up.)

Nina glanced at Tommy, eyes wide. His right eyebrow had split open, and his cheekbone was already starting to bruise. He sent her a reassuring look, visibly trying to keep his calm, but she could tell he was just as nervous as her. The fact that he wasn’t able to understand what her brothers were saying probably made it even worse for him. Her heart raced in her chest, guilt setting heavily on her stomach. It was her fault. It was all her fault.

Nina helplessly watched as Salvatore left her to help their brother guide Tommy towards the house, knowing there was nothing she could to do stop them without making them even angrier.

She took a deep breath, unconsciously rubbing her sore arm, trying to clear her mind. She needed to think, and fast. She needed to dig her way out, or she’d have to dig her own grave. Her and Tommy’s.

When she turned to go in her house’s direction, her stomach dropped. Agnese was standing just a few feet away from her. And from the expression of pure disgust on her face, Nina could tell she she had witnessed everything.

“Agnese,” she stammered, but the look she received silenced her on the spot.

Agnese’s lips twisted in a grimace as she looked her up and down.

“Puttana,” she spat out. (Whore)

Heart, Body and Sould tag list:

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer @thelastemzy @meadows5

@mischievouslittlecreature @fracturedhaven

General Tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys

@lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989

@call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @areyenotfondofmelobster @red-riding-wood

@optimisticsandwichgladiator @lunarubra

Tommy Shelby tag list: @50svibes @bellabarnes1378 @jbrownta

[toms-cherry-trees]

Don't Hold My Hand (I'll Break Your Heart) || Tommy Shelby x Fem OC ~ Ch. 1

Summary: Charlotte begins her new life at Arrow House, where things prove to be more daunting than she thought. The first bits of Tommy's past are uncovered

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Tommy being a violent insolent ass. Usage of period accurate ableist terms for a disabled person

Author's note: SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Life and health got in the way and I had a massive writer's block for this story. This one is more to law background for what is to come but I promise it will be worth! Next chapter is already on the works and I have it mostly laid out

Requested taglist: @call-sign-shark

《 Prev part - Next part 》

The clattering of broken porcelain disrupted the peacefulness of the Friday morning, the shards of white and the remnants of breakfast spread over the hand woven carpets. Thomas had launched the plate with masterful precision in what Charlotte could only describe as an adult sized temper tantrum akin to a spoiled toddler. The teacup had followed a similar fate, ruining the expensive fabrics furthermore. 

Charlotte had been working for a little over three weeks in Arrow House, and so far, things had progressed worse than she had originally anticipated. Enough to make her reconsider her vocation.

Thomas Shelby proved himself to be an almost unconquerable adversary, resisting tooth and nail every effort she made to help him in any way, shape or form. He refused aid in leaving the bed and dressing in the mornings, choosing instead to spend the best part of an hour struggling and cursing while Charlotte watched from the side, exasperated at his bullheadedness, but always within reach and ready to jump to his aid. He preferred his hair and beard to grow long and scruffy rather than allow her to give him a trim and shave; when Charlotte told him the castaway look didn’t suit him, he didn’t even cast a shadow of a smile. Any medicine served by her hand would be unjustly spilled or discarded, and even something as innocuous as a glass of water would be treated as if Thomas had been served poison straight from the bottle. She often had to sip or taste foods in front of him to prove she meant no harm.

That morning, he had refused to eat for the second day in a row, demanding to be served only whiskey or gin and his pack of cigarettes. He had been cross from the moment he woke up, all because Charlotte had laid his clothes on his bed within his reach to make it easier for him to dress unaided and grant him a piece of the independence he craved. She had even set a basin and cloth in a stool by the bed so he could have a morning wash to the best of his abilities.

Exhausted already with his mulish behaviour, she sat in front of him, ready to convince him by all means necessary, including force, to get him to have a bite. But no sooner had she sat next to him, he had flipped over the carefully arranged breakfast table, sending scrambled eggs and tea in every direction and destroying a most lovely set of blue crockery. Splatters of food stained the white apron and foresleeves of her uniform. A muscle ticked in her jaw, but she refrained herself from throttling Thomas and instead stood up slowly, hands laced and an amiable smile tugging at her lips, showcasing a patience that had begun to wear thin.

“You have to eat, Thomas” Charlotte spoke slowly, as if that way that man would somehow understand and change his attitude; but sooner would pigs fly than Thomas Shelby agreeing with anyone other than himself. He ought to be commanded on his determination to be obtuse. 

“And I said I don’t want to” He quipped, watching in near amusement as Charlotte dropped on hands and knees to gather the broken porcelain inside the empty water basin, using the cloth to protect her hands and wipe the food. She knew she could just call a maid in to do the dirty job, but back in the old days, nurses acted as caretakers, maids, cooks and everything in between. She didn’t see the point of calling a girl all the way from downstairs for so little; and besides, she didn’t want witnesses on her failure to control her patient, nor subject another innocent soul to undeserved wrath. 

“You need to eat to take your medicines, Thomas. Or you will ruin your stomach” The first couple of days he tried to force her to call him Mr. Shelby, but she quickly shot it down. Long gone were the days when she would have called him Sergeant Major Shelby and she would have been Nurse Tindall. They were Thomas and Charlotte, whether he approved or not. She would not give him even the slightless space to think himself superior to her in any way.

He waved his hand, dismissing her concerns as mere nuisances, as he did with every other thing she did for him. Thomas rejected the medicines daily, especially the pain medicines, but Charlotte knew better. Her sharp eye soon noticed how the liquid inside the bottles would remain the same and then suddenly drop a considerable amount overnight; Thomas didn’t retain enough usage of his legs to walk long distances unaided, but he surely had enough strength of body and mind to stagger towards the cabinet where she kept the vials and bottles. He drank his fill, even if he denied it, and surely more than he should.

“I’m not taking those fucking things” He snapped “Now get out of my room” He maneuvered the chair towards the doors leading to the veranda. If allowed to, any day he would move his bed and desk out there and just spend the rest of his days staring at the trees and the horses trotting in the paddocks, feeling the kiss of the sun in his skin and enjoying the breeze carrying scents of earth and trees. The first days, she offered Thomas many times to take him out for a walk in the gardens, or even take him to the paddocks; but he shot down every attempt with a ridiculing sneer and some less than kind words

Frustrated but not yet defeated, Charlotte tossed the last of the broken porcelain into the basin, perhaps with more strength than she should, and carried it downstairs towards the kitchens. As she descended the grand staircase, she made a conscious effort not to look at the paintings. For whenever she walked past them, she felt Mrs. Shelby’s penetrating gaze following her steps.

Her portrait outshone all the others, hanging front and centre overseeing the foyer. Blonde hair curled fashionably, clad in an emerald green frock with golden trimming and covered in jewels, from the impressive necklace to the heavy earrings hung with pearls. The frame stood as tall as two people, engraved mahogany wrapped in gold leaf. Her icon dominated the house, seen in multiple photographs and smaller paintings in every room. But none matched the opulence of that one, and none unnerved Charlotte as much. 

She had the portrait, but she didn’t have the person. In three weeks, not once had she come face to face with Mrs. Shelby. True, her duties limited her only to the second floor and occasionally the kitchen, but surely a wife would come to visit her husband every now and then? Charlotte never asked, as she had no reason nor true desire to know of her whereabouts, and simply assumed she was away, perhaps visiting family or on a trip to the new world.

But even then, it puzzled her to think she would leave behind her young son. Little Charlie, who lived his days surrounded by nannies since no one seemed to have time for him. Thomas seldom saw him; only when someone brought the toddler directly to him did he gift the boy some insipid paternal love in the form of a ruffle of the hair and a pinch of the cheek. These encounters distressed the boy, who pouted and whined most of the time, as if feeling himself endangered by Thomas’ presence. A child so isolated from his father he no longer recognised him as a source of safety. 

As Charlotte entered the kitchens, she came face to face with Mrs. Gray. The woman seldom left the house either, but unlike Thomas, for vastly different reasons. She spent her day, morning to bedtime, divided between meetings, phone calls, paperwork and more meetings. Arrow House housed the family’s race horses 

and she spoke daily with the trainers and the vet, as well as with a pudgy, bald man who came exclusively to deliver a foal. Men also came to the house, seeking to see Thomas but never making it pass the impenetrable barrier of his formidable aunt. They always spoke outside, as far as possible from prying ears, and left as swiftly and quietly as they came, more often than not pocketing paper envelopes or packing suitcases in the trunks of their cars. Charlotte never asked, having taught herself quickly to turn a blind eye to whatever happened under the roof that wasn’t supposed to. She had been hired to care for a man, not to keep tabs on the family affairs. 

But Charlotte suspected she also wanted to keep an eye on things, mostly on how Lottie and Thomas got along. It did not go unnoticed, how often Charlotte found her lingering outside the double doors or standing halfway through the grand staircase, always within earshot, but always with an excuse perched upon her lips should she be caught. Perhaps she just wanted to ensure Thomas behaved; or maybe stood at guard ready to catch Charlotte before she could flee the job in panic.

Now, she sat at the large wooden table sipping tea and nibbling biscuits, the newspaper spread in front of her. Despite her high status within the house, she could often be found having her meals downstairs alone, eating roasted goose and lamb chops and drinking oak aged whiskey while sitting on benches of coarse wood and warmed up by the cooking stove, her finely made clothes impregnating in the smell of smoke and onions. Charlotte knew the Shelbys had come bottom to top, but sometimes it appeared they hadn’t quite settled there comfortably. At least Mrs. Gray seemed to enjoy climbing down a few rungs in the ladder every now and then. 

Charlotte avoided eye contact with her at all costs as she fetched the garbage bin, her back turned to hide the basin from view as she tipped the food and shards inside. She tried to do it silently, but nothing could mask the unmistakable sound of broken porcelain and guilt. 

“He did it again?” Her voice broke through the silence, making Charlotte flinch instinctively, although the words only carried shame and tired exasperation, feelings shared by both women. Still she felt like a child, caught by her mother failing miserably at a task she promised she would accomplish easily.

She straightened her back and turned around oozing improvised confidence, smile never faltering as she faced her employer, the basin perched in her hands in a way that hid the porridge stains inside. No one would dare look at her and think that Thomas had slowly but steadily driven her to her wits’ end. No, they had to just take one look at her and immediately be assured that everything was perfect. She had to be the image of calm and composed, even when she just wanted to rip out her hair.

“Just a mishap, Mrs. Gray, nothing to be concerned with. I misplaced the tray and knocked it over when I stood. I promise it won’t happen again” The smile widened just enough to appear reassuring, perfectly matched with her soothing voice. She would sooner concoct a dozen lies than admit she might have found her match in the likes of Thomas Shelby. Charlotte was not foreign to difficult patients; men too prideful or obstinate to welcome help even at their lowest point. But they all bent the knee sooner or later. Everyone had a limit, a line that once crossed forced them to admit defeat. She just had to find Thomas’ line, wherever it drew. Surely no mortal man could be so obdurate.

The corner of Mrs. Gray’s lips rose in a half smirk, a glint of bemusement in her features; she knew liars and tricksters when she saw them, even if they only carried good intentions on their false words. She could smell them from fifty paces.

“You must have launched yourself from the seat then, since I could hear the plates crashing from down here. As if it flew across the room purposefully” Heat rose to Charlotte’s cheeks but she did not waver in her stance. Her lips parted to speak, but Mrs. Gray beat her to it, standing up and rummaging through the cupboards.

“Sit.” The order was spoken softly, but an order nonetheless. 

Lottie swallowed “There’s no need. I left Thomas alone and-”

“He can survive for fifteen minutes, and you look like you need a cup”

Defeated, and secretly glad to have a break, Charlotte abided, taking a seat and leaving the basin carefully hidden under the table. Soon a cup of tea steamed before her, Earl Grey with no milk and three sugars. She stirred it with the spoon tiredly, letting the metal heat up in her hand, but she couldn’t find it in her to bring it up to her lips as a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over her.

A comfortable silence lingered, broken only by the occasional servant who headed to the kitchen, but turned and left the second they saw the two women sitting there. Peering through her eyelashes, Charlotte noticed Mrs Gray didn’t even look in her direction, more focused on her breakfast and her newspaper, waiting for the younger woman to speak first. Lottie sipped her tea, hoping the soothing liquid would undo the knot she felt in her stomach every time she found herself in Mrs. Gray’s presence.

“He is difficult” She admitted, feeling like an officer admitting to the general that they had lost a battle. The battle, but not the war; she hadn’t sunk so low yet “And you warned me so, and I believed you because I saw it myself when I met him. But I thought he was just another veteran embittered with life that just needed the nudge in the right direction. I thought- “

“That you could help him” She completed the sentence with an understanding nod, as if she had seen the words written across Charlotte’s forehead. As if those piercing, dark eyes granted her the power to read others’ minds. And more than once, Lottie believed the Shelby matriarch possessed some skills that could only be described as magic or a sixth sense. She saw beyond the range of the normal eye, that much she could tell. And now the woman saw through Charlotte as easily as if she had been made of glass.

“But now he has proved to be more than you can chew'' The words didn’t come off as reproachful or taunting. Mrs. Gray didn’t seem to find joy in the admission of her defeat; rather she sounded empathic, as she could easily understand her plight. And she did, considering that she had been the one burdening the weight of her nephew’s care in between the cracks. Only she knew to a personal level the difficulties that came with caring for the ailing; worse even when they are your family.

Charlotte took a long sip, letting it soothe her nerves. Because if she freed her mouth to speak, she might say something she would regret; such as that maybe she overestimated her abilities for the job. Common sense told her that no amount of money could be worth being subjected to such treatment, but the sense of duty that pulled at her whenever she stared into Thomas’ eyes overpowered said logic. He had given all he had for the sake of duty, and Charlotte could not deprive him of the care she could provide him just because he behaved like an insufferable prick. 

“Has he always been like this?” The question left her mouth without permission. A question that had been circling in her head since the first day. War had changed them all, but such an attitude had to have a foundation. She had managed to rip out smiles from men who had been maimed, disfigured and ruined beyond help. Thomas only reciprocated her efforts by giving her the overwhelming desire to smack him around “I know he is angry, and he is entitled to it. But…” She shook her head “He is unlike anything I have met before”

“Tommy has that effect on people” Mrs Gray replied “He always had a special talent to be unsettling to others for various reasons. Even as a teenager. And he never withstood being seen as weak or defenceless.” She pushed aside the breakfast and newspaper to lean in closer to Charlotte, those deep eyes of hers fixed upon the young nurse.

“Before all of this happened, back when he was…normal” She grimaced at that word, and so did Charlotte. He was not abnormal, just different “He prided himself in dominating every room he stepped in. In the fear and respect he inspired on others. People looked at him and they lowered their eyes and shut their mouths. They moved out of his way when he walked and tipped their hats in his direction. No one spoke before he did. If he told a man to act like a dog, you can be damn sure that man would bark and wiggle his tail. No one went against him”

Mrs. Gray leaned back again, hands laced before her, her multiple rings making quiet sounds as she wrung her hands tightly “Having people looking down at him, seeing him as a broken and useless thing, it is something he cannot handle. As if all the power he once held slipped between his fingers like sand. So he overcompensates with his temper.If he cannot make you look up at him, he will make sure you feel inferior to him” The words resonated with Charlotte, and they made sense, in a sick way. If he could not tower over others, he could only diminish them to keep them under his foot. And he redoubled those efforts with Charlotte, who acted unwilling to bow her head.

“Is he the same with all his family? I mean, how does his wife stand him?” Another embarrassingly indiscreet question she didn’t mean to pronounce but could not be taken back now. Besides, the opportunity to sate her curiosity had presented itself so easily she could not let it go to waste. Whoever he had married, the poor woman had earned the key to the pearly gates for putting up with him. 

Mrs. Gray’s expression darkened, her lips downturning into a scowl and her shoulders tensing noticeably “She doesn’t. She didn’t” She sighed slowly, taking her sweet time to pick out a cigarette from the golden case “When his problems began, Tommy distanced himself from her. He refused to share her bed. You can imagine why” She took a long drag, exhaling the smoke through her nose as she stared at the wall behind Lottie “She didn’t try to bridge the gap; if anything, she made it bigger. I suppose when she said in sickness and in health before the altar, she hadn’t expected sickness to be like this. No respectable woman wants to be married to a cripple” Contempt and bitterness laced the words, her lips scrunched like she had tasted bile. 

“One day she left, as simply as that, fled in the night like a common criminal. Took the jewels and the money and boarded the first steamboat for America. Didn’t even think to take her son with her” Mrs. Gray spoke of the act with undeniable hatred; a hatred only a mother could muster, witnessing another mother abandoning her young child without a second look. 

The revelation shocked Charlotte, and a wave of sympathy flooded her suddenly. To lose the ability to walk, to lose his superiority, and also his wife? Even though it did not justify his actions entirely, it did allow him some slack. Any person in his position would harbour anger towards the world, but that didn’t mean he had to release it on every soul that crossed his path 

“What happened then?”

“Sent a lawyer to handle the divorce for her. I thought Tommy would fight her with everything he had, but he didn’t. He simply agreed to give his signature on the condition she left Charlie to him. And she did. Signed off her rights to her own baby for some American cock” She spat aside, as if riding herself of venom; as if speaking of that woman would be enough to poison her

Charlotte sat there baffled, still processing the information she had just received. To think that the woman whose face she stared at every day had abandoned her family, her husband and son, and yet her picture remained up there in the wall, in the place of honour like a venerable goddess. Tommy had given her the divorce to set her free, but he refused to let go of her memory. Out of love or to preserve it for their son she couldn’t tell. Pity crept into her, as much as she didn’t want to. It showed in her eyes and her face, in the way her posture dropped and how her hands lowered to her lap. 

“What a horrible thing” She lamented, her tone dropping an octave as she shook her head in disbelief “How could she do something like that?”

“Not many are willing to be a lifetime caretaker. You should know that better than most” She snuffed the cigarette on the table, leaving a little darkened mark along countless others, no doubt all of them of her own creation.

“Charlotte, there is a reason why I chose you to come instead of putting up an advertisement and letting candidates flock in like birds. You are resilient, I can tell just by the way you smile every morning at Thomas even when he yells and curses and breaks things at your feet. He is difficult and you are strong willed” The hint of a smirk returned to her face, a certain mischief glinting in her eyes “I know Thomas will eventually give in to you. Just give him more time” 

More time. How much more? She could only take so much, and even the most cheerful person in the kingdom would find themselves chipped away by constant berating and mistreatment. But she had made herself a promise, to pick up this lost cause and not drop it. Mrs. Gray counted on her and trusted her, otherwise she would not have made her privy to the secrets of Thomas’ life. And that pulling she felt, that unexplainable and irrepressible sense of protection she felt for him, whether he liked it or not.

She had never been one to believe in otherworldly things, but she knew, unconsciously, that she had been put in Thomas’ path for a reason. A duty she could not abandon. Because if she dropped his cause, there may be no one else to pick it up.

Charlotte finished her tea and took a deep breath. The conversation had renewed her vigour and boosted her confidence in the task ahead. She stood from the table and smoothed down her apron

“I won’t give up on him, Mrs. Gray. I know he needs help and I will be there for it, no matter how much he pushes me away”

Mrs. Gray smiled; not a smirk, but a sincere smile.

“Good to hear. He will need someone now more than ever”

That little bit puzzled Charlotte, her eyebrows furrowed and head slightly cocked to the left

“What do you mean by that?”

Mrs. Gray stood up, a new cigarette perched between two fingers. She let expectation build up as she went through the process of selecting a match from the box to light her cigarette

“A doctor is coming in a few days. A new therapist from London, expert in wounded veterans he says”

She flicked the butt of the cigarette with her nail, as if debating whether or not to continue.

“He thinks he can make Tommy walk again”