#though i think it’s more similar to gender envy

[transbutchblues]

talking about The Wisdom Saga with my mother : so, Antinous is a ‘bad’ guy, one of the suitors. he’ll try to hurt Penelope and Telemachus. however, he’s also hot. and I wish I could steal his voice

(after ranting about Zeus’ and Athena’s characterizations for half an hour)

[butchlifeguard]

the she/theys vs he/theys and wlw vs mlm posts are symptoms of a larger problem within the queer community 👍

[theladysunami]

So I read i burnt thick candles aloft to shine the beauties bright by anorangecarrot and it’s an absolute delight so far. I definitely recommend it!

It also has me thinking up some alternative AU ideas…

There are loads of stories where Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu are siblings, plus some where Shen Yuan is his own character but comes across Shen Jiu as a child, but how about one where Shen Yuan transmigrates as Qiu Haitang from the start?

Shen Yuan having the advantage of A) a past life’s worth of experience, B) being genre savvy, C) being terrified of Shen Jiu’s future murderous breakdown, and D) not being blinded by ‘her’ love of ‘her’ brother, would absolutely figure out what’s going on with his new brother being a shit to Shen Jiu.

The story could go so many different interesting routes from there!

Shen Yuan wouldn’t abide by the abuse for sure, but while he’d be more privileged as a young mistress then he would be as a fellow slave, he’d still be stuck as a teenage girl in the Xianxia equivalent of ancient China. His hands would still be rather tied.

I think my favorite idea is Shen Jiu quickly picking up on how off Qiu Haitang’s behavior has been recently (he’s the future peak lord of the strategy peak, so he’d absolutely notice), and somehow getting Shen Yuan to “admit” that his fever swapped out some of ‘her’ present life memories with those from his past life (Shen Yuan probably couldn’t sell the transmigration idea, but past life memories are true enough). They then become a “fuck you Qiu Jianluo” fake-fiancés but actual sworn-siblings tag team.

Shen Jiu helps teach Shen Yuan how to manipulate people and act as ‘herself,’ while Shen Yuan acts as a genuine supportive force in Shen Jiu’s young life, and uses ‘her’ relative privilege to get them both the tools necessary to at least start cultivating properly.

Naturally they both escape to Cang Qiong Mountain eventually (possibly with some amount of murder still).

Which peak ‘Qiu Haitang’ joins, and what gendered form Shen Yuan is living in by the time Shen Qingqiu takes over as peak lord, has plenty of possibilities.

For laughs, maybe they found Airplane’s ripoff version of the cursed springs of Jusenkyo from Ranma 1/2, or something similar, so Shen Yuan actually goes back and forth. (If anyone could manage the required number of fiancés for a Ranma 1/2 ripoff, it’s Shen Yuan!)

Naturally once Luo Binghe finds his way into the sect, he’ll end up smitten with Shen Yuan in whatever form. He’ll have to stew in envy over the fake-fiancé and/or ex-fiancé current sworn-sibling situation though. Even with an improved outlook and more support, Shen Jiu probably still doesn’t like him much.

(Binghe would most likely end up in the abyss reguardless, to Shen Yuan’s frustration, because suddenly being outed as a demon when the sects are currently under attack by demons, is never a good thing, despite his and Shen Qingqiu’s altered antagonism levels).

That’s all my thoughts on this for now, but I’d love to hear what ideas anyone else might have along these lines!

[ihavetoomanyocsdealwithit]

Twisted Wonderland boys try Drag  

I wrote the thing about Floyd (link) and it wouldn't leave me alone, and then I asked myself, what about the others?   

Floyd Leech, Malleus Draconia, Riddle Rosehearts, Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt 

Floyd Leech 

He has to go to this event and it’s going to be boring. He knows that it's all for looks and he’ll do it because Mom has asked him. But that’s the only reason he is doing it with mild complaining.  

Until of course, Yuu runs in like a cat on fire, grin wide and manic.  

Whatever comes out of that sharptoothed mouth is going to be fantastic.  

“Floyd!” Yuu chirps. “I have an idea. And I think you could be the son of a gun that's gonna help me do it.”  

“And why would I do that, Shrimpy?” He knows that his grin matches, that he’ll do it anyway, but damn if seeing her like this isn’t fun.  

“Easy. It’s fun, it’ll cause large amounts of chaos and drama and it’ll make Betta Fish either envy, rage or a develop a strange attraction he won’t understand until several years later in therapy.”  

Well how he is supposed to say no to that?  

They have something similar, at least in the sea. Not so gender based, that’s more of a human thing which he still doesn’t fully understand, but the larger than life makeup, large jewelry, that sort of thing. He had no idea the humans had something too!  

There is a dress code they have to follow, and half of the fun of bending rules is knowing what rules you are bending. So they pick and choose, he does ship in one or two items for his own benefit. Mamaw even handed off some of her old jewelry once he told her what the plan was. He may want to give his parents a little shock, but his never kept secrets or surprises from her. She’s good at keeping her mouth shut though, especially if it’s fun. 

When the both of you arrive, it is old Hollywood glam. He’s turquoise hair looks stunning with finger waves, lined with rhinestones and his signature black streak creating such an interesting texture. He’s make up is more on the dramatic side, bright blush and bold lipstick but cheekbones softened in a classic style. The dress is one of the things ordered in, as there was no way you had any clothes that you could even slightly modify at Ramshackle, a blue full sequin dress with a center split that feels vaguely familiar to Yuu, but you can’t put a finger on it. You did add gold shoulder chains that trail delicately down his shoulders and arms for a faux sleeve that makes his frame look sleek and elegant.  

Yuu of course, is simply a compliment to the drag queen, old Hollywood suit and tie with a tall top hat, a painted beard with sharp angles and twisted waves, tight pin curls with bejeweled pins left in sporadically.  

Vil does in fact lose his mind, but he’s more upset that you have not told him about this than seeing it. He grills you the whole night, and then some. 

Floyd however, thrives, having the time of his life finally being able to wear his stilettos out without feeling mismatched. It’s something the two of you continue to do together, but he’ll incorporate things on his own. You see more long skirts and dresses in his closet, different tweaks to his hair, and definitely more experiments with his eye makeup. He looks especially pretty when he’s squeezing people.  

When he looks at you, it’s just joy that he gets to express himself more. If he requires that you are his date for every party now, even underwater, well who are you to complain?  

Malleus Draconia 

It pops into your head as both of you are talking about home. You had been to plenty of Drag Brunches with the performances and dance, but also just Drag crawls with nights of everybody showing up and visiting, letting people get photos and just visit.  

Malleus has always had a hard time getting people to give him a chance, afraid of just his visage alone. It’s a reputation well earned, but he was very much a child with the stories that circulate and didn’t even know what he was doing.  

“What if you weren’t you?” Yuu asks, head tilted as the idea forms more in her mind. “What if you were a different version of you?”  

He’s open to the idea at least, allowing different experiments with color, themes, outfits and make up to see what he’s comfortable with, though there are some that go completely out the window. 

It’s easy for him to look like the Thorn Fairy, so they do put together a simple outfit that’s more of a modern take of her classic silhouette. A simple black side split gown with a thrifted Diasomnia coat with the patch ripped out, added embellishments of purple dyed furs, and silver metal accent spikes, letting his natural elegance take hold and make the presence.  

Do you have more casual clothes for him for brunch type things? Absolutely. And he looks fantastic in his oversized long sleeve crop top and ripped wide jeans with fishnet. He’s accessories tend to be the louder items for him, and he’s make up has plenty of colors, but he will always find his comfort in blacks, greens and purples. He doesn’t tend to go as loud as other Drag Queens, but it still works. Apparently, he sees Lilia dress this way often, so it’s something familiar and makes him feel a bit closer to him.  

The first brunch type thing the both of you go to, you are dressed more like a gentleman to compliment. A simple white button up, suspenders, a tight pompadour and exaggerated cheekbones. He had gone with the long dress since it was more of a formal affair, dressed down with boots, a softer lilac cardigan from Yuu’s closet, and wig pinned back into a simple but elegant bun, the blue underlay shining like a whole scale.  

He’s amazed at how easily people talk to him, how they approach with no fear. He gets to talk, and any awkwardness is explained away by being raised in Briar valley, because of course he’s just a Fae, not a dragon, those horns are simply part of the costume. Their is one little child that stays with him the entire time, talking about gargoyles, grotesques, and other statues. Malleus’s tail, also a prop of course, is swinging the entire time.  

Malleus loves to go out to smaller venues, but does fear getting too much attention and losing this as an outlet. He will go to lots of underground events with you, even the raves he’ll do for a few hours, and enjoy the people there. That he happens to get to protect you to is an added bonus, though the first time he sees Yuu lay out a guy for an inappropriate comment, he falls in love just a little more.  

Above, sitting on a staircase and looking down at his son, Lilia tears up a bit. There is fondness, pain, so much pain, and love.  

Malleus won’t make the connection until years later, when he sees a picture of himself, but he doesn’t look like the Thorn Fairy. He looks like his mother.  

Riddle Rosehearts  

Riddle sees Yuu’s drag first and loves it. What started as an invitation for a historically accurate Red Court costume tea party had allowed Yuu to dive deep back into the hobby with ease. So much of Red Court fashion involved that over-the-top style and fun that it was easy to pull together a fantastic outfit.  

He is a bit more hesitant to get into it, especially once the two of you realize that what he pictures himself in is close to his Overblot form, but simple modifications can fix that. The make-up isn’t too difficult for him to learn at all, after all the Heartslabyul students apply their own everyday, and he does love his red eyeliner. He is a bit embarrassed on how comfortable he feels in the corsets and dresses, but she manages to pull him back in with the shoes.  

Afterall, it wasn’t uncommon for Drag Queens to wear platforms. He’s usual heels will give him a solid inch or two, but six? He’s a whole new person when he puts on a pair of platforms.  

The next historical tea party, he pulls up in a Queen of Hearts inspired dress, but there isn’t a trace of black in the design. White lace gloves, the card fan collar fun and playful looking, the red soft and romantic looking instead of bloody, white roses pristine and large red ribbons ballooning out like the bow of a present. His hair of course is a wig, the red not quite as strong as he’s own, decorated in pearls and diamonds with heart-shaped lips and strong eyebrows.  

Trey notices how differently Riddle acts, firm but strong, delicate with his teacup and firm with the flamingo handles as he plays. He seems...happier. And he looks especially regal when a student makes an unsavory comment, and he sends them flying with a commanding “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”  

Vil Schoenheit  

Now, Vil was normally a respectful gentleman, but when he saw the different sketches on the margins of your notes, he became intrigued, especially when you let it slip that it was for herself. Drag had a slightly different definition in Twisted Wonderland, and Vil already practiced this version. Basically, how close can one flirt with fashion or make up or demeanor to become a woman, but it wasn’t anything like what you had.  

But what you had laid out was more Avante Garde, more bold, more interesting. A living art piece, yes, that’s what he would call it! There were designs that Yuu wouldn’t try but thought would look amazing or simply didn’t have to skill or resources to do. That wouldn’t be a problem with Vil.  

There is some work with figuring out what works best, as he basically looks good in everything and already has experience with changing his shape and silhouette. But looking good in everything doesn’t mean that’s what is best for him, and that’s what Yuu pushes, showing more of the entertainment and songs, for what feels the most confident. Eventually, they figure out that Vil enjoys being able to do less entertainment and simply exist as something beautiful and untouchable.  

Vil’s next event, Yuu comes more as an assistant, as the outfit is going to take hours to pull together, but it will be a showstopper. Yuu has no interest of trying to compete with Vil on this one, and he needs no complimenting king. She still gets free food out of it though, so definitely no complaints there.  

Vil arrives looking like a perfume bottle, intricate and elegant and stunning. The bottom balloons out and trails with a black ruffle, studded with spikes, hips accented with leather pads and structured velvet dress and long sleeves locked into black accordion ruffles on his wrist. But the chest is exposed, a beating heart pulsing in a golden rib cage, inverted shoulder pads like wings rising with a crown that puts the puny tiaras around them to shame.  

His smile is hidden, black lipped and sharp, and Yuu thinks that he’s probably never felt as beautiful as he does now.  

Rook Hunt  

Does anybody else remember Prince Poppycock? He was an opera singer that showed up on American Idol and was my first exposure to anything like drag, especially drag kings. He has lived rent free in my mind ever since. Anyway, on to Rook!  

Rook sees you experimenting with different outfits from the closets of Ramshackle, fashions that have been out of season for maybe a century now, and he loves them. How strong, how romantic, the glamor of it! He at least does the polite thing by knocking on the door before begging to be your mannequin.  

Rook, similar to Vil and Riddle, has plenty of experience with make-up, but the full white face is something he has never done before. He does love how bright the colors come out on such a canvas though and makes several versions with different outfits he has sent in from home. The hardest part is the wigs, which are simply too modern or not the right colors for him. He gets a long-curled wig imported from home and asks to keep it at Ramshackle, and carefully styles it out his eyes. Yuu is also not surprised when other outfits and ribbons start coming in, simply hanging them out to get the wrinkles out. The matching silk robes are nice though, she’ll admit to that one.  

He gets his opportunity when you find a local theater troupe that does soliloquys, monologues, short songs and one act plays on Saturdays evenings that would be more than happy to have extra performers. Getting Rook to choose only one monologue is more difficult than choosing the outfit, but it’s easy to compliment his look with a similar vibe.  

It’s something Yuu has never had the opportunity to see before. The way that Rook preforms like this as opposed to the SDC is so different. He lets loose here, fully indulging into the character, and the audience is enraptured with him. Some of the upcoming actors and actresses are even pausing in practicing their lines just to look at him go.  

Sometimes over tea parties, him and Riddle really bond over historical dress, he’ll even sprinkle freckles on top of the white face paint. Yuu wishes he would let his natural ones come through sometimes, but maybe it is a work in progress.   

[hauntingofhouses]

I was wondering, what do u think Taigen reaction to finding out about Mizu being a woman will be? Although I don’t think he will have a bad reaction I wanted to know what u thought about it?

OOH I like this question because the thoughts on this have been swirling around in my brain for a while and I don't think I ever properly talked about this, outside of maybe this post (which is barely coherent imo). There, I compared Mizu/Taigen to Mizu/Mikio, as well as to the main romantic couple in the movie Yentl. Then from both those comparisons, I tried to speculate on Taigen's reaction to Mizu's gender reveal, based on what would make the most narrative sense.

However, I didn't really analyse Taigen himself in that post, and neither did I ever come up with a concrete conclusion to what his reaction may be. So this ask gives me a good chance to speculate even further and hopefully come up with a proper and more in-depth answer.

Similar to you, anon, I don't think Taigen will have a bad reaction per se, though I guess it depends on what you'd define by bad.

Because this is Taigen we're talking about, I don't think he'd exactly be chill about it. He's very much a drama queen, especially around Mizu, as he's never afraid of stepping on her toes, and thus will vocalise his feelings to her whenever he's feeling them. That, combined with his short temper and his brashness, means that there's almost certainly going to be conflict when he finds out the truth. He will be shocked, and because he's immature, he'll be angry and upset because of this shock. Simply because he doesn't know, and hasn't yet learned, how to deal with his emotions in any other way besides getting angry.

So I think that will definitely be his first instinct. To get upset.

I don't think he'd immediately know why he's upset. Maybe only after a few minutes of angry questioning (think something along the lines of "Why are you telling me this now?!" and "You've been hiding this all this time?!"), he'd finally come up with some tangible cause for his anger.

What would the cause for his anger be then? Well, it could be several things.

Possible Reason #1

He feels "betrayed" because Mizu didn't trust him enough with the truth even after the two have grown close, and after Taigen has put his life on the line for her numerous times.

Possible Reason #2

He feels "cheated" because Mizu is not the man he'd believed she was, thus making it feel like their entire friendship was a sham. This is because the basis for their relationship, in the way he'd related to her, bullied her, envied her, admired her, allied himself with her, and eventually grown attracted to her, had been entirely based off the premise and belief that Mizu is his fellow man, his peer, comrade, and fellow samurai. Thus, discovering that Mizu is not a man would, initially, feel like all of that has been ripped away from him. And this is actually related to the third possible reason.

Possible Reason #3

This is a big one, and the reason everyone, including myself, is putting their bets on: misogyny.

Essentially, Taigen would find out that this whole time, the person he'd been envious of and struggling to beat in every single fight, is not a man, but a woman. And as far as he knows, even if women in feudal Japan could once be warriors (see: the Onna-musha), perceptions have since changed by the time of the Edo period. Furthermore, even if women could fight, men were still expected to be stronger, because men are supposed to protect women.

However, I believe that Taigen's particular flavour of misogyny is a little different, in that he does not view women as "inferior." Because remember, his fiancee was Akemi. This was a woman who took no shits! She was snarky and playful and intelligent, and moreover she was a princess, superior to him in every way, and he knew and respected all of that, and respected her as an individual who could make her own choices. When she'd told him the news of their engagement, Taigen asked her, "He's [your father] sure? You're sure?" And then, when she tried to seduce him in Ep 2, he asked her, "Akemi, are you sure?"

His respect for her is the only reason why Akemi had been so desperate to marry him in the first place. She did not love him, but knew he would be good to her. Because she could not guarantee that any other man would treat her nicely as he would.

Thus, with that being said, I don't think Taigen is some "alpha male dudebro" who thinks women belong in the kitchen etc. Instead, I think Taigen simply believes women are just... different from men. So it's not that women can't or shouldn't fight, it's that they just don't. It's not that women can't or shouldn't be friends with men on equal footing, it's just that they aren't. You get what I'm saying?

It's like, imagine your whole life, you're told, and fully led to believe, that a lamp can't light up. They're just meant to be in your house as decoration. And then suddenly, you find out that your lamp lights up! And you're like, "OMG a lamp is lighting up! How is it doing that?! I thought light only comes from candles and the sun! This can't be right, I thought lamps never light up! Isn't that a fundamental part of their design?"

Now, put aside that this is a pretty bad analogy because it's 1am as I'm writing this and I can't think of a better one atm, but I hope the point comes across, in that this is clear-cut misogyny (I'm comparing women to a piece of furniture here on purpose), but the lucky thing about this particular flavour of misogyny is that it's rooted in ignorance, and is not inherently malicious. It can be, but it isn't necessarily.

Ignorance can be undone through learning and educating oneself. And luckily for us, my friends, educating oneself out of ignorance is the entire point of Taigen's character! He represents the uneducated masses who blindly follow the flow of the fucked up system. This is in contrast to Mizu who has never had a place within the system to begin with, Akemi who has spent her whole life struggling to go against the grain of the system, and Ringo who has always tried to follow the system, but due to his disability, is denied full access to it.

Thus, we've already seen him take the first steps to unlearn his xenophobic and racial prejudice, and we've also seen him start shedding his massive ego and desire for glory, which are both used to mask his own insecurities. If Netflix gives us all 4 planned seasons, then we have 3 more seasons for Taigen to fully grow out these backwards mindsets and finally reach his full potential to become—not a good man—but a great one.

THEREFORE, whatever the reason for his upset at discovering Mizu's gender, I firmly believe that Taigen will get over himself in the end, regardless of whether his anger stemmed from his misogyny, hurt, confusion, or whatever else.

Because Taigen's short temper and emotional immaturity is born from him spending his whole life on the move. Unlike Mizu, who is always alone with her thoughts and meditates constantly to try to cleanse herself of her restless emotions, Taigen is used to surrounding himself with people (see:him in the Shindo Dojo) and ignoring his emotions completely (see:him trying to forget Kohama). Which is why, when he does feel anything, it's overwhelming, and he doesn't know what else to do with it except let it out, usually in an angry outburst. Only when given the proper chance to reflect in Kohama in Ep7, does Taigen finally go through some substantial growth and start feeling remorse over how he'd treated Mizu.

Hence, I suspect something similar will happen when he discovers Mizu's gender, in which he will get upset and shocked and confused first, but then he'll reflect and regret and try to make up for his past behaviour.

And this is what I meant earlier when I said that I don't think he'll 't have a "bad reaction."

Essentially, it is my belief that his reaction will not follow in the footsteps of Mikio's, but instead, directly oppose and subvert that. This is related to the points I referenced in the post I linked above, but also, more importantly, because Taigen and Mikio are narrative foils.

Thus, where Mikio had betrayed Mizu and left her for dead, I believe Taigen will, at the end of the day, remain loyal and continue to fight by her side until the very end.

Because the thing about Taigen, as a person, outside of all the attitudes and prejudices that have been ingrained into him, is his relentless devotion. He gives himself into everything he does, puts in his all, and does not do things halfway. That's what makes him such a good soldier. He does not lead, but follows. He is inherently self-sacrificing and driven by a desire to protect, and we see this in how protective he is of Mizu to the point of enduring torture for her and telling her to use him as a human shield; how his first instinct upon hearing Akemi had been dragged off to get married against her will, is to get up and try to go to her; and how, when hearing the shogunate is in danger, he immediately goes straight to Edo palace to try to warn the shogun, even if it might get him killed in the process.

I could go on about why I think this is what makes him so good for Mizu (because Mizu's arc, especially in Season 1, is literally about accepting help and opening herself up to others) but this post is already atrociously long, so I'll just leave it at that.

So, anon, I hope I answered your question! I'm sorry I can never give short answers though, but I think at this point, it's to be expected from me lol. Thank you for the ask btw! And on that note, my inbox is always open for more 👀

[aruanimess]

You should totally do HCs for AOT characters. I know you want to😎

🌟

The gender/sexuality HCs? Oh, anon, you shouldn't be enabling me like that... (pls continue)

Okay, so the reason I was hesitant to do this is that I'm usually a "bi until proven otherwise" type of person, but here we go-

Before I begin, disclaimer 1: I consider pan and bi to be very similar sexualities, being bi doesn't mean you're not attracted to nbs (at least imo). The difference lies in whether or not the gender of your partner factors in the attraction you're experiencing (again imo).

Disclaimer 2: This is all in good fun, not meant to be taken too seriously, and obviously if you disagree that's all right 💕

So without further ado:

Eren (he/him): Heteroflexible, but also demisexual. Boy needs a strong bond to penetrate the wall of tatakae and get him to feel attraction. His implied but not canonically explicit crushes on Annie and Historia, only confirm this for me bc he only became interested in them after he learned more about the way they think. Mikasa is obviously his best friend, and Armin, his other best friend, puts the flexible into the heteroflexible.

Mikasa (she/her): Pansexual, also demisexual. She doesn't care about her partner's gender, only about their heart. She has trouble getting attached, but once she does she's ride or die!

Armin (he/they): Bisexual. You know the meme that goes, "I'm probably nonbinary but I don't have time for that"? Yeah, that's Armin. He do be fighting demons, and the demons are his relationship to masculinity. They like macho dudes (the ones they envy/they eeeenvy 🎶) and people who intimidate them.

Annie (she/they): Bisexual. Unlike Armin her nonbinary inclinations are not over some angst with womanhood, she simply sometimes wishes not to be perceived in any particular way. She likes boys if they're nice, girls if they're cool and nbs... nbs are just hot.

Jean (he/him): Pansexual. I don't think gender matters to him, he judges people through their actions, though, and oh boy... he's a harsh judge!

Connie (he/hee): Pansexual aromantic. Sorry, this boy is all about friendship, the other thing he just doesn't get. His friends will be his family, not his future spouse. He still gets around though 👀

Sasha (she/her): Demisexual, demiromantic, straight. Niccolo. Need I explain more?

Bertolt (he/him): He thinks he's straight but he's actually bi.

Reiner (he/him): Homoflexible. Mainly gay, but an exceptional woman can make him change his mind.

Historia (she/her): GAY, GAY, HOMOSEXUAL, GAY. Les-be-honest this woman is a lesbian.

Ymir (she/they): c'mon, she's a giant lesbian!

Pieck (she/her): okay, I know it's a hot take, but I think she's straight. Like who in their right mind rejects Hange? Clearly straight. (And I don't want to hear about Yelena because, again, who in their right mind rejects Hange but wants Yelena?? NO) She's polyamorous though.

Hange (they/them): Pansexual. Canonical crushes involve Keith Shadis and Pieck. They clearly don't care about their partner's gender, only their levels of weirdness. Their gender is mad scientist.

Levi (he/him): another hot take, I think he's aroace.

[littledesertfox]

intro, I guess?

hii! I figured I should make a post like this even though I have a feeling it will be like super messy xD

I've had an interest in history, specifically World War II basically since I was a kid. It was only recently though that I found out that there's a community for it! I've always had a thing with expressing my interests in ways that may seem slightly odd to other people, so it feels nice to see that there are others who seem to experience this in similar ways :3

I want to make it very clear that I am NOT a nazi or rightwing in any way, and I don't want actual (neo-)nazis to interact with my blog, get the fuck out! Similarly, I don't want racists, lgbtq-phobes, ableists, religious extremists, pedos & zoos or people of similarly disgusting kind to interact! I'm literally queer and neurodivergent (undiagnosed/suspected bc getting a therapy place is hard :/), this is not a place for you!

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I've been a fan of the Downfall parodies on youtube when I was younger and recently relapsed into this fixation😭 I don't know if this fandom even really exists at this point since it seems that many creators have left in the meantime, but I'd love to talk about it, maybe I'll even get to write fanfics at some point. Also a short disclaimer that when I talk about historical figures that play a major role in the Downfall parody universe (such as Fegelein, Krebs, Burgdorf etc), it will usually be about their parody selves, not the real people! I'll try to clarify that individually if needed though.

I've also started lurking a little in the reichblr tag with a feeling that I'd describe as "indimidated fascination". Currently I'm mostly interested in some members of the Wehrmacht, but other historical figures that I had or have an interest in might come up as well. Overall any stuff that I post will probably go more into the lighthearted and humorous direction, but I'd love to bring in some more educational stuff as well.

My inbox is always open if you want to gush or ramble about your favourite historical figures or Downfall characters (both from the parodies and the movie itself) and such! Please talk to me about our shared faves😭🫶

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I get crushes on fictional characters and sometimes historical figures too, but that doesn't mean I support, condone or defend their worldviews or actions in any way (this applies especially to real people of course)! These "crushes" usually stem from a place of fascination with who they were behind their public appearance, I want to know more about them as a private person, like their hobbies, favourite food and other mundane things like that. Often it's also simply that I feel physically attracted to their appearance because I think they're handsome, either that or they give me massive gender envy (or both lmao). I don't really control on who I fixate like that, it just happens, but I hope that this will be a place for me to express those feelings in some way and find like-minded people. Though I also want to point out that not all my fixations are automatically also crushes! Usually I will mention whether they are or not, or you'll probably notice based on what kind of posts I make about them lol.

Current main historical fixations:

Erwin Rommel (I can't help it I just think he's cute ._.)

Fritz Bayerlein (he's the dude in my pfp lol, there's barely info about him but idk I just think he's kinda interesting😭 also yes he was actually bi)

Current main Downfall fixations:

Hans Krebs & Wilhelm Burgdorf (the otp ever)

Wilhelm Mohnke (ngl Downfall!Mohnke is kinda fine❤️‍🔥 ... idk maybe I'm just finding the actor hot though😭)

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If I encounter things that make me uncomfortable I follow common fandom courtesy and block tags or blogs accordingly. This is nothing personal, I'm just curating my own online space. I don't want to see any harassment here, neither towards myself nor to others!

Anyway I guess that's it for now? Idk if this is any good as an intro post but for now it'll have to do I guess😂 I'm generally not really sure yet in which direction to go with this blog (should it be more Downfall or reichblr focused? is there a lot of overlap between the fandoms? do they even get along? help😭). I also don't know how active I'll be in general, I'm also constantly jumping between thoughts like "yee this is gonna be fun" and "dafuq am I doing here I should feel ashamed about myself" but I hope to meet people who share my interests :3

[blues824]

Sorry the large amount of work you have to do but if you can, could you do Yandere Zhongli!mc x obey me brothers + diavolo

I’m gonna make the characters Yandere for you in return. Gender-neutral reader.

Warnings: Yandere (I do not condone this behavior irl), suggestive in Satan’s and Asmo’s, use of love potion, Shrek references, Stockholm Syndrome

Lucifer

You both were very polite towards each other, and you both were competent, so it was no surprise that the both of you started to display Yandere tendencies. Plus, the fact that you threatened to end his brothers’ lives for causing him stress was something he took as a joke (it wasn’t, but that’s okay).

With Lucifer, you don’t even have to worry about being broke. He will become your provider both financially and through home. He doesn’t even get upset when you come to him when you are completely in debt. However, if Mammon points it out, Lucifer will threaten his own brother.

He doesn’t really know what an Archon is, so you’re going to have to explain that to him. Then you’re gonna have to explain why you chose to live among the mortals in your world. Even though the Devildom does not have Osmanthus wine, Lucifer would go through the trouble of going to your world just to acquire some in the hopes of securing your love for him. 

As for your dragon side, it’s very intriguing and beautiful to the Avatar of Pride. Whenever you’re in the middle of a transformation, but haven’t fully completed it yet, he will run his hands over your spine just to make you shiver.

Mammon

The moment you showed him kindness was the moment where he was convinced you were the one. That being said, he would send threats to everyone who dared get close to you. The feeling was very mutual, though. Sure, you didn’t care for his tsundere behavior, but he showed clear favoritism towards you and that’s all that mattered.

You both are broke to the point where you become dependent on others, but you don’t particularly like it. So, because of this, you take a step back and actually learn about this world’s finances so that you can be better prepared with your money. But, since Mammon doesn’t want you getting a job for fear of you getting close to others, he will become the breadwinner.

Mans had no idea what an Archon is, but the more you explained the more he thought you were so freaking cool (also the more he felt unworthy of even being in your presence). I think he would also go through the trouble of getting Osmanthus wine just for you to see him in a good light.

He loves your dragon form, and your half-dragon-half-human form because you are very protective and even possessive, and that means he has you all to himself in return. Plus, he better be the only person you’ve shown this form to. After all, he’s your first, just as you are his.

Leviathan 

Mans wants you all to himself, and once he notices that you want him all to yourself he is ecstatic. Not only does envy play a huge part in this, but also your Yandere tendencies. He doesn’t mind only seeing you for the rest of his immortal life, as long as you feel the same.

Levi isn’t broke, and he likes the aspect of being the financial provider because that means you become dependent on him. He will even teach you how to look out for scams so that you don’t lose money. You revel in the time you spend together as he teaches you these things, because it’s time that he’s spending with you and you alone.

He’s played a game that had a similar concept to Archons, so he already had a basic understanding of what you were. He didn’t know anything about the wine you drank, so he went on to Akuzon to see if he could find it, and he bought the last bottle online.

The moment you showed him your dragon form, he was entranced. The years of playing dungeons and dragons came flooding into his mind, and another thing his mind told him was that he wouldn’t mind being locked in your dungeon (take that as you will). Lock him in a tower and call him Fiona, plot twist is he’s in love with the dragon.

Satan

Seeing you be so polite as well as kind in general really caught his attention. You were the only one who could calm him down whenever he got into a fit of rage, and he really grew attached to you. He needn’t fret, since you loved him just as much. If either of you were without the other, you grew easily agitated.

Satan isn’t broke either, but he might grow a little annoyed at your dependence on him. So, he gives you a few books so that you can learn how to both manage your money better and stay away from scams. But, if there is a book you’re interested in, he will buy it for you with no hesitation whatsoever.

He has read something about archons, but will ask you a bunch of questions about life as an archon so that he gets a deeper grasp on the concept. He might interview you over a bottle of Osmanthus wine, with a little love potion unknowingly put in each other’s drinks. Let’s just say that you both didn’t answer any questions that were unrelated to either demon or former-archon anatomy.

Once you showed him your dragon form, that kind of sealed the deal. You were just like the dragons he was familiar with in very popular fairy tales. You wrapped your tail around Satan, pulling him close to you and let out a loving huff of air. 

Asmodeus

You were good-looking and very charming, plus you could be sentimental. You were the perfect person in Asmo’s eyes. Plus, you were definitely very attractive when you got serious. You also couldn’t deny that the Avatar of Lust was attractive either, and you both fell in love and lust for each other. He didn’t show Yandere tendencies at all, but you definitely did and he was thriving for it.

Asmo buys a lot of cosmetics and clothes, but he’s not broke. He gets a lot of money from his Devilgram and his job as an influencer, as well as modeling gigs. So, that being said, he always covers your finances for you as long as you only allow him to buy things for you. He wants to dress you up like his own darling doll, and your philosophy is as long as it makes him happy.

He does not know a thing about Archons, but upon finding out that you were a god he was stunned. He dropped his $400 moisturizer out of pure shock. Then, you went on about how as an Archon you would drink Osmanthus wine with your Archon comrades, and that has Asmo thinking about how the wine tastes. But the second he tries it, he probably figured out you laced it with a love potion or aphrodisiac of some sort.

Then, you showed your dragon form to him, and mans was squealing so much. He felt like the princess in one of those movies he’s seen, and he doesn’t mind being in love with the dragon this time. I feel like it feeds into his predator/prey but also his jealousy and possessiveness kinks. That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Beelzebub

You made him some Bamboo Shoot Soup and that’s when he fell in love. Part of it might have been the potion you put into his portion, but it was only a small part. Even after the effect wore off, he was still obsessed with you. He acted no differently than when he was under the effects of the potion.

He spends quite a bit of money on food, but he’s not broke at all. I think he would get discounts for being on RAD’s Fangol team, so that helps. He also likes to get you gifts from time to time. But then there’s you, who can not handle your finances well. He doesn’t know too much, but he will help you through it and offer to help you pay your debts.

Beel does not know about Archons either, so when you tell him about it he finds it really cool. But, as you told him about your Archon friends, he grew a bit jealous and worried. Was there a possibility that you would go back to them? That you would sit and sip wine with them once again. To soothe his worries, he ordered the Osmanthus wine you loved so much.

When you showed him your dragon form, he was amazed. Your possessive side definitely showed as you curled around him and didn’t allow him to leave, but he had no problem with not leaving for a while. He ran his hand over your back and you shivered at the contact, making the Avatar of Gluttony chuckle a little.

Belphegor

Usually, a darling tends to fight back against their yandere, and you thought it was one of those cases. Belphie did not like you at first because you were a part of the exchange program, and he was the one who was able to spot your yandere tendencies first. But, he thought it over and eventually grew to love you back.

He’s not broke, mainly because he never goes anywhere. That being said, he will help you pay back your debts and he will make sure you stay with him to sleep all the time because that means you can’t spend money. He usually does the online shopping for you so that you don’t get scammed.

Belphie does not know about Archons, but in your dreams you are often sipping a glass of wine with some statues. The effigies are responding to you in return, which freaked him out a bit, but he looked down and saw that he had a glass of wine as well. He sipped it, and the sweet taste overwhelmed his senses.

You once showed him your dragon form, and you spent the entire time sleeping. You wrapped your body around him and he placed his back against you so that he was propped up in a sitting position. You both had the best nap.

Diavolo

If I remember correctly, Diavolo is a bit of a yandere himself, so this works out ‘perfectly’. You were his first friend-turned-lover, and he doesn’t have a correct or untwisted view of love. So whatever you tell him is normal is what he goes by in this relationship. In addition to this, since you both were yandere, you both fed into each other’s yandere tendencies to an unhealthy degree (as though this was a healthy relationship in the first place).

Diavolo is definitely not broke. As the Prince of the Devildom, he has the wealth of a typical royal, as well as control of the Treasury. This would make you his co-ruler-to-be, but you do not have access to the treasury. One thing he does to manipulate you into being more dependent on him is he controls your money and your spending. However, you are left wanting for nothing.

Since it was in your student profile, he did some research on Archons. Over tea, he might ask you about your life as an Archon, and you went on about the nostalgic memory of sitting with your friends and sipping on Osmanthus wine. He wants to help you not feel homesick, so he orders some of your favorite beverage and spends an entire afternoon with you just to chat.

You showed him your dragon form and he was entranced. You might be more powerful than he is, if we’re all being honest, but he thought he would be the prince assisting you out of the tower rather than you being the dragon that locks the prince up. It doesn’t matter to him though.

[a-libra-writes]

I absolutely love all of your Mordecai stories! Could you write one where reader is specifically male and how that would affect the relationship? Or a more general scenario where Mordecai makes a habit of fixing reader’s appearance for symmetry, definitely not because he wants an excuse to stand so close to them.

hhhhhh okay i had to prioritize this because i just. i have so much brainrot about this stupid hitman esp with a male partner in particular !!! This will be adjacent to the part 3 of Romantic HC's with him (and I included ur cute symmetry idea in that one instead!) I have a lot of thoughts..

First off, I HC him as gay ace, and that is what I tend to go off whenever I write him. These are my own thoughts and obvs yall can have something totally different! With that said...

He would be slightly more open and have an easier time getting to know a man, simply because of the socialization and gender expectations in the 20's. With women he's always been uneasy because of the unspoken, unknown "expectation" of interacting with them. (though if she wasn't ladylike at all and toted around a gun or dressed masc he'd probs feel otherwise, see him interacting fine with Serafine). Again, 1920's socializing acting as if women are an entirely different creature from men and should be treated as such. So, he'd be a little more accepting of touches and attention from a man because that's more familiar, but we're talking 10% more. Not a huge jump.

As stated in the previous HC's, this is still years of building trust between the two of you before he's willing to acknowledge any feelings. If you're openly gay or bi during this time, he's never been judgmental about it like some might be. Actually, Mordecai doesn't think about your potential love life in the slightest, at least until you two begin to get closer. Then suddenly he's thinking about it.

Attraction has never been something he's experienced, at least not in the way he's heard men talk about women (which, ew, that kind of talk is disgusting). But as you two become closer, he develops emotional and physical attraction toward you; both are confounding and frustrating. It's less sexual attraction and more a very intense physical admiration, even if that person doesn't have conventionally attractive features.

(Personally I think he'd be very attracted to either a very tall and muscular type - similar to Viktor - or a smaller, slender more "pretty" kind of guy. Two opposites on a spectrum, which he admires for different reasons.)

Regardless, it's awful, Mordecai has no idea why this is hitting him just now in his mid-fucking-20s after a whole adolescence of not seeing people that way. The physical admiration comes and goes, but the emotional attraction always hits him like a train when you're both together.

This is probably Totally Normal for close friends who are also comrades that murder people together. This is fine.

Note it's possible you have plenty of other admirers, which gives him even more agitated and conflicting feelings. If it's women fawning over you - even if you aren't interested - that's easy for Mordecai to deal with. Women have bothered him plenty of times, at least until they realize how cold and awkward he is and give up. He doesn't understand why you have to smile and flirt back, but, well, at least that doesn't upset them ....

Men flirting with you is a bit of a different story, especially if you've always been open and comfortable with your own sexuality. The women seem harmless, the men do not. You have this ease and freedom with them that Mordecai doesn't understand and somewhat envies. He can't brush off their attention as being "silly" like the women are; they don't just want to dance with you. It agitates him so much and he struggles to fully articulate why. Maybe a small voice in his head tells him that if he were more normal, maybe you might be just as attentive to him. That you have expressed your trust and affection to him, but he struggles in returning it, so it's no wonder you might seek it elsewhere.

In this time period, there's incredibly little understanding around the concept of asexuality (and even then, it's written as though it's a disease or mental failure). Mordecai has certainly never heard of such things, and he's never struggled with his lack of sexual attraction until his feelings began developing for you. This is why he becomes so jealous if you're free with your love and attention to others. Before you both were ever a real "thing" (but the feelings were very much there, hanging unspoken between you), Mordecai would start huge arguments about whoever you'd be sleeping around with. He hadn't cared for years, and now he does? Seriously, if you smell like another man Mordecai goes from 0 to 100 and barks at you to wash up. You point out that Viktor always smells like sawdust and oil but Mordecai doesn't shove him into the bathroom.

Viktor thinks whatever you two have going on with these spats is just weird. More than once he's yanked you both by the neck and tossed you out of the garage for being so noisy.

(Note if you're someone whose on a similar wavelength as Mordecai, or you simply don't enjoy sleeping around with strangers and prefer close connections, that jealousy simmers down considerably. No, these are not healthy reactions or feelings he has. He has never been a well-adjusted individual. )

Once you both are more of an established ""couple"" (if thats what this strange long-term pining and angsting and yearning that's finally become something of a real Thing can be called), Mordecai still wouldn't consider himself "like that". Not because of shame of being gay, but because he genuinely hasn't felt this way toward anyone, man or woman. You're his exception. He likes you.

All the drama aside... Because of the odd nature of you and Mordecai's relationship, plus his closed-off personality and the odd hours you two keep, no one actually suspects the relationship is romantic for a very long time. Mitzi and maybe Atlas have caught onto something, especially if you're open about your attraction to men, but they assume it's a one-sided crush on your part. Viktor is the only one who picks up that Mordecai might feel the same, and only because he's around you both so often and he sees the odd looks and lingering touches - and notably, how you two interact with him is very different with how you interact with each other. Not his business, but he'd protect you both in a heartbeat. Viktor never says it out loud, but he's aware of other associates or employees who may not be accepting of you two and could be a potential threat. He watches them very carefully.

(And related to that - Atlas doesn't think twice about taking you in and treats you with just as much respect as his other employees, which would be remarkable for a known gay man in the 20's. That's probably how he got you signed onto being a triggerman...)

And related to any threats, Mordecai will go fucking feral on anyone who tries to threaten or hurt you for your sexuality. It doesn't matter if you're playing it cool or ignoring them, he's already got his gun out. Viktor will join in too, but he at least asks if you want to kill them or "just" scare them shitless.

So, in closing ... Yes, the relationship would be a little more complicated with a masc person vs a femme because of the time period and the lack of vocabulary+understanding of Mordecai's own identity. A person whose experienced and very comfortable in their own skin would help him out a lot, whether they're asexual or allosexual, someone whose willing to just sit and talk these things out (even if sometimes he's mortified to even bring it up). If the person is just as questioning and confused, well, it might end up more chaotic, hah.

[katyspersonal]

The first two options fall kinda close to one another, it just depends on the specifics! Aldrich will somehow show "traits" of whoever he eaten, like how you can receive Smough's armour from him = it is very apparent that he ate Smough upon invading (how ironic lol). + Worth to mention he might have devoured Nito('s scraps) as well, since he is using Gravelord Sword:

But maybe eating someone so powerful as Gwyndolin permanently "locked" him into this shape and there isn't any further point of digestion :p

At the same time, element of Aldrich is water, so maybe literally any other God would have lesser effect but since Gwyndolin's element is Moon, it is able to move him? @val-of-the-north suggested that maybe what remains of Gwyndolin is still unwittingly "holds him back", so that's why Aldrich is kind of just vibing in that room instead of going outside and devouring more? + This is of course following the idea that Sulyvahn doesn't have an interest in Age of the Deep and fed him Gwyndolin in self-defence (might explain very tattered look, like if he was struggling)!

At the same time, for all we know, maybe Aldrich already looked similar to Gwyndolin in life! Average Irythillian appearance is pale skin and black hair, but also white hair might have been a trace of darkness corruption! For example, The Four Kings, corrupted by Abyss, have white hair, Deacons, corrupted by the Deep, have glowing red eyes.. Abyss and Deep are similar in terms of:

Or, hell, this could be why all Abyss Watchers have white hair and glowing red eyes! So imagine if Aldrich simply regained his human form, minus all the fat he accumulated as it went into his lower body now, and he only imitates Gwyndolin's fighting tactics!

^ Also the idea that Gwyndolin DID change from pastel to goth by the times of DS3 IS a really enjoyable one xD It is kind of like full moon vs new moon stages! I just started to feel less confident about it over time since Gwyndolin's statue in Irythill features their typical outfit, minus the crown and some jewellery and his trademark staff! Meanwhile, Aldrich's clothing is drastically different and he wields generic staff of Darkmoon Knights, with his crown in fact being more similar to this design. It gives me an impression that Aldrich hastily copied, knowingly or unwittingly, what Gwyndolin was like from vague memories, just could not quite grasp it of course. The moon cycles symbolism is still a really fun headcanon though!

(Not to sidetrack but I love the detail of Gwyndolin's statue missing the snakes, as well as him depicted with covered eyes even without the crown! Just proves further for me that his eyes likely were dragonic, like Priscilla's and Yorshka's!)

And, then, again, since Sulyvahn was acting like someone speaking for the sickly God, maybe they were still intending to squeeze out whatever use it could have had xd This is a more shitposty idea than a serious one, but worth to mention!

[miriatwstuff]

TWST ask game! 10. Top five favorite characters?

(Gosh tumblr really need to update their notification settings because I didn't even realize there was an ask in my inbox 😭 Tysm for sending me asks tho 💕 and prepare to see me yapping)

Disclaimer I don't exactly hate any characters (aside from [REDACTED for JP spoilers]), but these dudes just top my list.

MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE ✨️

(put under read more because damn I didn't think it would be this long)

1. Lilia Vanrouge

Ok he is kinda a wild card even for me because much as I love parental-like cough cough fatherly and motherly characters, I am more inclined to serious-but-secretly-soft ones. But Lilia was totally not like that. He's an old man who is more, for lack of better words, modern and up-to-date with the trends compared to his children. He's careless and might even come off as irresponsible or annoying at times, but he's also a bundle of joy and he's so so so soft-hearted and caring and full of love (despite how he thinks). And I love the enigma that is Lilia Vanrouge and I love even when his pasts and secrets are revealed, love the resilience he has shown, love how he has grown and at the same time how much his heart stays loving regardless of the hell he's been through. He is not without his flaws but I love him all the same, broken and imperfect and alike 💓

(gosh this was not intended to be a confession of love but you know, Lilia deserves that <3 gonna shoot him my love beam if it convinces him he deserves love too <3)

side note I really need to spare some time to share the dorm Lilia analysis I found on lofter... silently pray for OP to give me permission to translate 🙏

2. Vil Schoenheit

Gotta admit, idk if I love Vil or if I want to be him lol. Peak case of gender envy. But yes, among the main cast, his appearance is definitely the one that I love the most. I was quite reserved when it came to opinions regarding him out of fear he would be just a shallow self-absorbed guy who only cares about his looks, and I was so freaking GLAD that I was wrong. Vil is probably one of the most hardworking fictional characters I know (or maybe I don't know that many) especially considering how privileged he is, even when his goal is not as common as you would see (to be the fairest). One would easily mistake his goal for a surface-level physical attractiveness, but he aims to achieve inner and outer beauty, which, yes, includes health and nutritrion and diet and P.E. etc. as well as the grace of the character (though his personality leaves much to be desired lol, but that's another part of his charm: never bend to appease others).

What seals the deal, tho, is how he looks after other people, especially his underclassmen. Did I mention I love fatherly/motherly characters? And he isssss. His approach is rough (tough love in capital letter), but he is meticulous and he cares so much he even take notes of how his dorm students can best improve themselves. That kind of knowledge and dedication normally do not come for free and here he is, sparing the little free time of his just to see his potatoes blossom. Gosh I am weak for those like that.

(not twst related but lol I love the way he is like Lucifer from Obey Me, which is another fav of mine. Despite having completely different goals in life their approach is similar, and so is the way they handle those under their tutelage lol)

3. Trey Clover

iirc Trey isn't exactly popular with the global fanbase, but he IS extremely well-liked in the Japanese one, particularly because of how domestic he is, and I can see their point. Much as I love Lilia and Vil, if I have to pick someone to get married to, Trey will definitely top the list because I do value the normacy of an ordinary person. Besides, he takes care of others (oh no another fatherly/motherly figure), he's sensitive to others' feelings, he wants to keep peace and ensures a normal life, and he bakes delicious treats! What's more to ask for?

(He also keeps up with others' dental health and damn how can I disappoint him am I right 👀)

(No wdym he's secretly unhinged as well that's just his little quirkiness <3)

4. Leona Kingscholar

He's lowkey depressed so relatable points for him /hj. And the rizz from Scar incarnate definitely helps.

Yeah yeah I can list out what is WRONG with him and it can take all day but at the same time, he takes care of his dormmates 🥺 Did I mention I'm weak for characters who embody the task of a caretaker? like every 2 sentences You know, he did all of the things in book 2 (which is a dumb plan btw) just to secure a better future for his dorm students? Because they look up to him and rely on him and for the first time in forever he feels like he could try to mount for something? Because his career is dead-end but his Savanaclaw underclassmen's are not.

(I don't forgive him for the thing he did to Ruggie tho, so sleep with one eye open Leona :<)

That aside, him being one of the few who got a good grasp of other people definitely adds because I do love a perceptive character. The entire therapy session with him and Jamil is so refreshing and the undertone humor certainly sold it for me.

5. Silver

At first I was debating putting Idia up here (because third-years bonus points and I generally look at third-years more than the younger students), but then I saw Silver and I was like, sorry dude better luck next time.

We didn't get to know Silver (or Diasomnia as a whole) much prior to book 7, but what we get from the main story so far is an entire feast. His backstory, his origin, his relationship with the rest of the Diasomnia (especially with Lilia), the way he held back his tears just to cry in front of Malleus, the way despite his love and loyalty he had to stand up against his liege, everything we know about him just straight up adds to the list of reasons why I love him.

Do I even need to add his Disney princess charm and how every animal love him lol?

But yes, it is so easy just to make him yet another two-dimensional goody-two-shoes, but Yana just ate and left no crumbs made his plotline one of the most compelling in the game, and I look forward to seeing him shine in the upcoming updates.

And baby please don't cry anymore, my heart shatters along with your tears 😭😭😭

[my-fancy-hat]

I can definitely see the vision that Yoshida's perse Denji's personal arc and relationship can be read as the queer closeted experience too as some people have pointed out in these past chapters. Both who share the same feelings of disconnection with their environment, in addition to an inherited social ineptitude and naivety about what it really means to be normal, in which they assume that the origin of their frustration and sadness comes from their weirdness and not from the rejection that the same scheme who ignored them now inflicts on them. This uncertainty of knowing that, despite the fact that you are doing what the manual says, what the majority does, you still do not get the same results of satisfaction and personal fulfillment that everyone gets, is what increases this frustration and pilled anger against their surroundings and against each other; Yoshida has faith that this is the path to take, that the results are guaranteed by logic so tries to persuade Denji to trust on his good intentions, while Denji is submerged in an existential crisis from said normality that feels more transgressive than comforting, even though he already has what he wished for and maybe what Yoshida envy of him. Them forcing each other to do things they both know it won't make them feel any different from the usual apathy and sense of losing themselves in the progress with so little reward such as doing the expected of their asigned gender roles (men always wants girls, always wants sex) for example, only increasing their solitude as a result.

Like, we all know the obvious, that all of this comes from their respective backgrounds and duties, Denji as the extremely poor orphan kid forced into child-labor and, taking Yoshida's subtle wording, it makes you think he's not so different from him, like a child soldier raised by the state similar to Makima and Reze. These feelings of the uncomfortable normality that secures your place as the "social failure" despite your desperate attempts to prove yourself to be worthy of acceptance, are very common around a lot of groups incluiding the one mentioned on here, as on top of that is so valid to take in consideration the not so-subtle tension (and poor tasted jokes), misunderstanding but at the same time complicity between Yoshida and Denji makes this interpretation really interesting, to me.

[ownedbythescribe]

Wanderer/Scaramouche | Vanilla Coffee

ıllı Synopsis: As sweet as vanilla coffee? Yes, that's how you would describe your boyfriend. Why? Because all dark thoughts disappear with just a single word from him.

ıllı Genre: Fluff, Modern AU

ıllı Notes: Use of his first name ‘Kunikuzushi’, Gender Neutral Reader, Engineering Student Reader

ıllı A/N: I had been thinking of trying out modern AU lately, and I ended up with Scara. I’m not sure if I did good here, but I’m happy with it. When will I get myself a guy like this? *sob sob*

It was officially the 28th hour that you had been wide awake for the week, sleep thrown out of the window. The cherry on top, it was just Wednesday. The glare from your laptop's screen started to irritate your eyes, so you opted to lean back and close your eyes for a moment. Exhaustion blanketed your body, and the stiffness of your neck was another fact of the number of hours you had been doing your project. Turning to the side, you saw your roommate still sleeping. There was a 7 AM class waiting for her later, though, while yours decided to use the time to let the groups finish the design project for finals week.

'What a great time to run into problems. Just fantastic.' If anyone were to talk to you right now, they would be barraged with sarcastic comments. It was not something you wished for others to receive so early in the morning. Still, the lack of sleep and fatigue from researching sample calculations for the dryer section of paper production depleted your patience.

After 30 minutes of rest, you heard a notification sound from your phone. It was your partner messaging you about a plausible sample they found online. You hastily opened the document and noticed the similarities to the equipment you had been designing for a couple of days. Sending a happy sticker, you asked if they could do the final touches to the chapters prior to the computation section. You informed them that you would take the calculations part and send it to them for rechecking. You planned to have the paper assessed by the professor before the presentation.

“Are you sure? I can help out a bit. We can meet up later by City Cafe.” They suggested, eager to help, considering that you had been stressing over the matter for hours.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry. Plus, this is a good way to release some tension from all that research we did last night. Be back in a few hours!” You chimed.

With renewed energy, you stood up and sauntered toward your roommate, who was happily snoring away. You nudged her awake, but she entirely turned around and mumbled words of "five more minutes." By then, you knew she meant another hour. You called for her name again, and as if annoyed, she smacked you square in the face. It was neither light nor heavy.

"If you don't wake up this second, I'll throw your cinnamonroll plushie in the toilet." You threatened, having enough of her antics. She bolted up from her bed and then noticed the redness on your face. Knowing her sleeping habits, she quickly apologized. It was almost comical, but you were too weary to entertain it. Sighing, you ordered her to get ready for class before grabbing cereal for breakfast.

While munching on it, you started solving the design for the dryer. The document made it easy to follow, but you needed additional data to complete it, so you re-read another article you used as a basis. Suddenly, your phone buzzed. Plastered on the screen was your boyfriend's name, "Kuni <3". People know him as Scaramouche, but you prefer to call him Kuni. He was skeptical at first, but it grew on it. Although, it was only you who was allowed to do so.

“Hey, do you have classes today?” Scaramouche asked. You squinted your eyes at the camera. It looked like he was walking by the gardens near the pharmacy building. Honestly, you envied how the school's budget was poured into that place. They had a scenic park outside, and the laboratories were top-notch.

"Luckily, no, because this project is killing me." You groaned, scratching away at the paper on your desk. Another data was missing, so you checked the excel file for it. You did not notice your boyfriend staring at your face. He could see how stressed and tired you had been. Sleep forgotten in the midst of accomplishing the project.

"Is it due this week?" He asked. You took in a deep breath before shaking your head. He let out a sigh, but before he could berate you, you let him know that it was because of the schedule proposed to finish the paper. He was still conflicted but accepted it nonetheless. Pausing for a moment, you watched him walk to his building. It was slightly covetous how relaxed the indigo-head was compared to you.

Scaramouche tapped his ID in the scanner before looking back at you. He caught your stare. In the pit of his stomach, he hated that you neglected yourself again. He clicked his tongue instinctively before telling you to get at least a power nap after doing the computation.

"All right, but this might take a while. Oh, you're going in already? See you by the end of the week for our date?" You asked, hope evident in your tone. He could not say no to your puppy face.

"Yeah. Don't collapse on me, all right, doofus? Love you." He teased. You grinned, shaking your head at his mean nickname. He repeated his goodbye before ending the call. You missed him already.

"Stop with the long face. Here, I cooked some eggs and ham. Got you some rice too." Your roommate nudged. You took it from her hands and thanked her.

She went to the closet while scolding you for staying up all night considering that you have a weak immune system. You assured her that you had been taking vitamins every day. She was not convinced.

"That's not enough. Scaramouche is right. Take a power nap after that whatnot you're doing. I'll get going now, or the professor will kill me this time. Don't forget to lock the door before you sleep!" She reminded, dashing out of the dorm. You shook your head at her strange chirpiness.

Once again alone in your own world, you continued with your endeavors. You moved from determining the drying properties of the conveyor dryer to its design parameters. The good thing about the latter portion was it was based on heuristics alone, so you could simply pull out a handbook and search for the formula there. It was the computation for the cylinders' length and number that was lengthy.

"All right. That should do it. If my partner approves this, the next part would be to render the 3D model in SolidWorks." You murmured, exhaustion catching up to your body.

The document was immediately sent. You stoop up to stretch, only to collapse on your side of the bed. Your eyes felt hot and heavy, breathing unsteady. It felt like the world crashed on your body, so you closed your eyes. A hushed promise to wake up after an hour or two slipped from your lips.

“Hey, I’m coming over after class. Don’t forget to lock the door. I know you have a security guard downstairs, but you can never be too careful.

-Kuni”

After what seemed like hours, you blearily opened your eyes to the sigh of familiar indigo hair by your bedside. Scaramouche was taking out medicine bottles and fruits. It seemed like an illusion, probably a dream even. He did not have any reason to come to your dormitory.

Unable to help yourself, you reached to brush off his hair. He was startled by the action, but when he glanced at your dazed look, he sighed. He touched your forehead, the coldness of his hand enticing you. A chuckle left his lips at the sight of you trying to nuzzle into his hand.

"Good to see you awake, sleepyhead. Here, eat this. Drink your medicine after." He instructed. A little bit of clarity reached your mind, so you sat up and tilted your head in confusion. What was the medicine for? Catching sight of it, he replied.

"You had a small fever by the time I got here. I assume you were not able to read my text and simply fell asleep. Not to mention, you left the door unlocked. What am I going to do with you?" He scolded. You stared owlishly, a bit apologetic but dazed. Then, you saw a coffee by the kitchen table.

"Vanilla latte?" He nodded. You were about to ask for it when he glared at you, clearly compelling you to eat first and drink the medicine. The coffee could wait, but your fever would not.

Succumbing to his orders, you finished the food he prepared for you. It was chazuke, his specialty. You were unsure if it was because you were sick, but it tasted better than before. Subsequently, you downed the bitter medicine. It was a bit difficult to swallow, but you held it in. When you showed him that you were done, he gave you the coffee with a headpat in tow.

"Don't stay up late tonight. You finished your task for the day, right?" There was a concerned glimmer in his eyes. It seemed like you worried your boyfriend again. Not like he was not used to it, but it was better to remind you to take care of yourself. He loved you too much to get tired of it anyway.

"I won't. Let me check my phone first to see if they approve of it. Hmm? Oh, I made a mistake in the last part. I'll fix it tomorrow, then have the model rendered. 'Thanks! Let's rest for tonight', and send." You grinned. It was nice to be ahead of your schedule. Scaramouche nodded, putting away the bowl and medicine. Deep inside, he was proud of you and wanted to smother you with kisses, but that would be out of character for him. He knew being an engineering student was tough, but you held on to it because it was your dream.

"Kuni, are you going home early after this?" You asked. He was washing the dishes but said he might because his roommate passed him the task of making dinner tonight. It was infuriating how irresponsible the guy was sometimes, but he let it slide today.

Hearing his answer saddened you. There was a part of you that wanted him to stay and cuddle up, but it might be too selfish to ask. A dejected hum left you, which did not sit well with him.

"Don't worry. I can stay for a bit longer. I'm sure Heizou can hold himself for hours of no food." He finished putting the plates away and joined you in bed. You leaned on him as he smoothened your hair. His warmth was comforting, pushing away the fatigue that crept up your spine. It made you feel fuzzy. Sometimes, you thought having him by your side was too good to be true, but he scoffed at it. His words still rang in your ears.

"I chose you. You are mine, as I am yours."

All dark thoughts were blown away. You did not want to let go, and he would not let you do so.

"Thank you." He held you closer, then kissed your forehead.

"Always."

Please don’t copy or repost my stories, but notes and reblogs are always appreciated!

[arvensimp]

Hi! I've been reading your fics about Arven and you just make me fall in love with him harder than I am in. You write so beautifuly I really envy you! Very good job, this is my first request, and I hope I don't bother you with it. I love music, and I like to sing a lot, I imagine my MC who also loves singing and music with a beautiful voice, I would like to request a fic with a reader (can be gender neutral) singing to comfort Arven because he is sad, with Masbostiff joining them. (Both have a established relationship and around 20-22 years old)

Thank you!

Hello! You've come to the right place for this one lolol my masters degree is in voice performance and i've literally sung opera in different continents for the last several years.

-

That Funny Feeling

Arven x singer!reader, fluff and comfort, no genedered pronouns are used for the reader

--

Growing up in an empty house as he did, Arven never really listened to music. Sure, he's heard some of the top 40s hits that play over the radio in shops and stores over the years, and he's heard songs that students used to play in the halls when he went to the academy. Thing is, he wasn't exposed to music as a kid, so he didn't really ever seek it out as he gained autonomy.

When he started traveling with you after graduation, it was the first time you both had started spending significant amounts of time together. Sure you'd been casually dating, but you were both busy with your respective pursuits. Your time together was usually spent eating, holding hands, maybe watching a movie, cuddling, and doing other typical, couple-y things. You didn't have time to just exist with one another, which is part of what made now so special.

Because of that, Arven is a little gobsmacked to hear you one evening as you sit with your recently caught tinkatink, singing softly as you brush through her hair.

It's nothing special or over the top, you're just singing something gentle and calming, trying to lull your new pokemon into a comfortable state as you build your relationship with her, but Arven is utterly enamored. Truth be told, he feels almost voyeuristic listening in on the two of you, but he can't bring himself to move away.

When you're done with tinkatink, you move onto your scream tail who receives a similar treatment of a brushing with its bath, but this time the tune is more jovial, and Arven swears he thinks the scream tail is trying to sing along with you, though its voice isn't nearly as relaxing or sweet as a modern day jigglypuff's (or yours, he thinks).

Arven doesn't say anything that night because, truth be told, he isn't quite sure what he can, could, or should say. Do people usually sing like that? Is that a normal thing? Is complimenting you on your singing a normal thing to do, even?

As it turns out, you sing to your pokemon fairly frequently. Skeledirge often joins in with you in low, brassy tones, adding a bizarrely haunting quality to whatever it is you sing. Sometimes, 'Raidon curls up behind you, making you a nice little throne from which you sit as you sing to your pokemon during their mini grooming sessions between baths.

Arven never really joins in, but he silently loves the concerts. He starts to learn some of the tunes and words; he finds himself humming along to you sometimes. When he's alone, he even whistles one once. He didn't even realize he could do that! Sure, it was probably discordant and the wrong key (whatever that means...) but he whistled!

The two of you are walking through Socarrat Trail one day when the urge to sing strikes you, so you just...let'er rip. It's a folksy tune, perfect for crispy cool days on mountain trails, and your voice echos among the stones in an entertaining way.

You're not screaming or anything, but you're singing loudly enough for the wild pokemon to take notice. They turn, and the sudowoodo have the sense to high tail it immediately, as they would anyway. A few toedscool also seem to sense danger in the noise and decide to run away on floppy looking legs. For the most part, the other pokemon seem not to care much. Once they see that the source of the noise isn't trying to make a run at them, they go back to ignoring you.

Arven though? Arven has stopped in his tracks, eyeing you like you've just set off a bomb in the woods.

"What are you doing?!" He hisses.

"Singing?" You reply with a laugh. "I don't see a problem with it. It's not like we're bothering anyone. No other people are around, and the pokemon would've been disturbed by us, regardless."

"Y-Yeah, but... It feels wrong..."

You flush a bit, feeling embarrassed suddenly. "Oh... Sorry. I'll, uh. Stop, then." You imagine Arven wouldn't shush you like that unless the singing was bad, right? Oof, that's a faux-pas.

You spend the rest of the walk in silence.

Arven for his part, feels bad for being the one to silence you, but he isn't quite sure why. Like, you shouldn't sing in public, right? That's weird, right? Sure the song was great, and your voice is lovely, but... But that wasn't...wasn't normal, right?

Fuck, and now you're being quiet, and he isn't quite sure what to make of that, so he stays quiet, too.

That evening, Arven is eventually the one to suggest you both stop to have dinner and set up camp for the night. You only nod to his suggestion and get started on setting everything up for yourself and your pokemon. He gets started on dinner as you work on the tent and getting everyone cleaned and healed up from the day's battles.

Your pokemon, of course, notice the change in you, sensing that you're much more down than usual. Both tinkatuff (no longer tinkatink!) and scream tail both try to cajole you into a song, and skeledirge also chirrs lowly, but you quietly hush them, watching Arven's back carefully. You'd rather not embarrass yourself further by singing in front of him anymore. It hurts to think that he doesn't like your singing voice, but...well you think you like him more than you like singing.

As it turns out, Arven's pokemon also pick up on the difference, too, and Mabosstiff is quickly by your side, snuffling against your hands and side in an effort to get you to interact with him.

"Hey, bud..." You whisper to him softly, petting his sides. Mabosstiff boofs loudly twice, and you try to hush him some. "Hey... Let's be quiet for now, yeah?" Instead, Mabosstiff doubles down, baying like a smeargle. You wince and look to Arven, but he doesn't seem to mind the noise the pokemon are making. You smile and ruffle Mabosstiff's fur as he keeps singing, then you return to setting the tent up.

Like clockwork, Arven has dinner on the table as you're finishing up with the other preparations. You wait for him to finish filling the pokemons' bowls and for him to sit down at the table with you before you start eating.

It's delicious, as always, and you want to tell him as much, but you just don't have it in you to break the silence after so long.

So, Arven does.

"I... Uh, I think I messed up."

You give him a confused look, and with a mouth half full (covered by a hand, of course!) you say. "The food tastes fine?"

Arven groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No, no. I mean, thanks, but no. I..." He sighs. "Did...Did I mess up? Or, like? Hurt your feelings or something today? I didn't mean to."

"Oh!" You look back down to your food. "Uh... I mean... I guess? You didn't mean to, but yes? It's okay though. I'm sorry you didn't like my singing. I feel bad, you know? Like it must have been really grating these last few weeks--"

"What?" He interrupts. "N-No! That's not it at all! I love your voice! It's beautiful! Like you! I-I mean. Uh..." He goes red. "I really like your voice. A lot. I...I just...well, I wasn't expecting for you to break out into song in the woods today. It caught me off guard, and...I dunno. It seemed weird?"

You bristle. "Weird?"

Arven winces. "I-I dunno! I just...wasn't expecting it, and...I dunno. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and... I dunno, it was...sad...today...without the sound of your voice..."

You feel your face heat up at his confession. "So you don't mind when I sing to the pokemon?"

"No! I really like it. I...I didn't get to listen to a lot of music as a kid, so this probably doesn't mean anything, but... You're my favorite singer ever."

So singing becomes a welcome nightly ritual, not just one that Arven feels he can observe from afar. He's never quite comfortable enough to join in with you, save for maybe humming along softly with something he knows particularly well, but you don't force the subject with him. Singing is an incredibly personal thing, after all.

Arven and you have to spend a week or so apart not long afterward. You've been called away on League duties, and he decides to busy himself with some post-graduate study at the academy with Saguaro. When you meet back up at the lighthouse on Poco Path, you can immediately tell something's wrong.

After graduating, Arven turned the old lab into a makeshift apartment for himself between journeys, and he usually keeps the place as spotless as his old dorm. Currently though, the shutters are all closed with no natural light getting in, and the usual smells of deliciously cooking food are nowhere to be found. You find Arven curled up on the sofa, Mabosstiff whimpering at his side.

"Hey...What's going on?"

"Hey...Just uh..." It's clear from the sound of his voice that he'd either been crying or is actively holding back tears. "Found some stuff...from the professor..." By the way he says it, you know he means his parent. He gestures to a notebook, left open face down on the coffee table.

You sit down next to your boyfriend, pick up the book, and scan the page. It seems Arven found a passage written about him...about how one of his parents had walked out on the other not long after he was born... He was referred to as "the boy" the whole passage... Just reading it makes your blood boil. You click your tongue disapprovingly, and Arven hiccups a silent sob.

You put an arm around him, coaxing his head into your lap. "Shh..."

"I...I must've done s-something wrong...right?"

You run your fingers through his hair, pushing away that one tuftthat's forever blocking off half of his face. "Absolutely not," You soothe in soft tones. "You were only a baby... You couldn't have done a thing... They were both just...bitter people..."

"No... No, don't say that..." He says, turning a bit into your top.

"I'm sorry... But none of this was your fault, okay?"

He nods against you, digging his fingers into your side.

You keep petting his head, doing your best in the moment to soothe his aching heart. Mabosstiff similarly stretches out, putting more of his weight onto Arven, assuring him of his presence.

There as you sit in the quiet, with Arven trying to steady his breathing and swallow down the lump in his throat, you start to sing. It's hushed, like a lullaby, but with a melancholic longing. There's catharsis in singing music like this through a broken heart. Arven lets his tears fall silently as you sing to him. Between the sound of you, your touch in his hair, and Mabosstiff's weight on him, he stays tethered to the earth, present and safe and loved.

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hey Gin this might be a silly thing to ask, but how did you realize you were trans? Cause ever since I saw your trans Stan and Ford I think I had some sort of relivation, it started with just really enjoying the art you drew to me feeling some sort of envy. Either that I want to dress more masculine or that I actually want to be a man, cause honestly when I look at your trans stans I just feel so much gender envy (jealousy?) And on my last period I had a whole crying fit over it starting, which has never happened before. I just don't know if this is actually what I'm feeling or if it isn't. I've had thoughts of telling my mom and fearing the consequence. This is just all so new and I'm honestly scared. I figured I'd ask you since I look up to you and from what I've seen you are quite wise. I don't really know why I have so much self doubt and constantly flip flop over things. It's frustrating, I just wish I could be certain about something for once. Sorry about this, I'm a mess really.

It’s not silly to ask. My answer is unfortunately a little silly, because I’m a goober. I also typed A LOT so its all going under a read more

So, I was 16 and on tumblr even more than I am now, and I was (still am) friends with a trans woman who reblogged a post that was like “Just trans girl things: eating dark chocolate because it has substances similar to estrogen” and I went “Haha i guess I should stop eating it.” followed by “…why do I feel that way” and THAT was followed by quite the crisis.

Trans men weren’t as well known about back then, so I was like “Well, it means nothing, since only women can be trans”. And then I found out men could be trans too and that pushed my crisis further along. And I started to think. About how I liked when people defaulted to male pronouns for me on the internet, or how when i was a kid I would use a crazy amount of shampoo to make my hair look short and flatten my chest in front of the mirror and look at it. Things like that. And I got upset because “no i can’t be trans that’s impossible”. I would google things like “how do you know if you’re trans”, “quiz to see if you’re trans”, ect.

But the idea of being seen as a man was exciting. It was tantalizingly exciting. And I knew it could be possibility for me someday, and I knew that made a part of me happy and I couldn’t un-know it.

Final straw was a nonbinary person I had been following made a post about how they were going to start taking testosterone. And instead of feeling happy for them I just got mad and started sobbing to myself. Because I was so extremely jealous. So jealousy absolutely has its place in figuring things out.

You should think. Think about attaining the things you’re envious about. Does this make you happy? It’s okay if it’s upsetting or scary at the same time. Change often is. But if it makes you happy, excites you, gives you hope for the future, it’s worth thinking more about.

-

You don’t have to jump into telling your mom right away (and I wouldn’t really recommend it till you’re a little more sure of yourself). You can go at whatever pace you want to. I didn’t tell my mom (or anyone in my real life at all) till I was like, 20. And I’d known for 4 years at that point. You’ve sent me a tumblr message, so I’m assuming you’ve got an account here. I’d say asking your friends on this website to address you as male would be a good way to ease into things. And you can see if you like that or not.

For how you dress, again, you can ease into it. Personally it made me happy to dress in athletic clothing (especially tank tops- to show off my non existent guns), or to dress like a greaser (Though I preferred a black t shirt to a white one), or a golfer. None of those things particularly scream ‘man’ but they were man enough to me. You can find things man enough for you. If you want to try out a binder and think you can get one without anyone noticing, my first ever one was a Tri-top from Underworks. They’re like $30 or so. I was able to get away with buying it because I was a cosplay nerd so I just said it was for that.

If you’re the type of person who owns makeup- you could try to find some time alone just to have an experiment of mimicking drag king makeup, or makeup for cosplayers doing male characters. I did that once early on, and while it looked admittedly goofy, it made me ecstatic at the time.

-

Er sorry for things getting so long. But I just want to say lastly that self doubt is both normal and okay. And thinking far in the future (ie- things like coming out to people or hormones or anything like that) might scare you. But you can take things one step at a time if you want to. Play with just looking at clothes, making outfits on pinterest or whatever, imagining scenarios where people address you as male, thinking of names you might like. See what makes you happy, and expand on the things that do from there.

And regardless of what you discover, in the end you will have learned more about yourself. And that's always a good thing.

[nattinekomaid-blog]

Hi there, I'm transmasc and just wanted to say I think your identity of being both transfem and transmasc is cool and valid as hell and anyone telling you otherwise sucks <3

thanks for supporting me! People have like wanted to make trans fem and trans masc a new binary and it hurts. But i did so much effort to make my body female, and when I want to be a man its a transmasculine experience because of my features not passing for male, i have similar concerns to an afab trans masc and i like have gender envy specifically of trans men. I’ve been told in the past I was being fetishizing of trans men for wanting to look similar to how some trans men look and to want to kind of maybe not pass as cis male but more kind of be maybe mistaken for a trans man but thats “fetishizing”… ugh… i love my gender though