#though i still have other content to watch and things main series is done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ichorai · 2 years ago

Text

blueberries ; two.

pairing ; joey tribbiani x gn!reader chapter synopsis ; the one with hockey pucks, double dates, and blackouts. wc ; 5.8k warnings / includes ; talks of sex/suggestive content, mild cursing, joey being an idiot

series masterlist. main masterlist.

The brightness of the hospital’s buzzing white lights made your head pound, and you quickened your pace until you were jogging down the hall to the waiting room. There, you saw Ross, Joey, and Chandler. The former two were wearing a variety of Hockey merch, and Ross was wearing his regular attire, though accompanied with a slightly crooked nose and a busted lip.

“Oh, my God, Ross!” you exclaimed, rushing to the trio. You gave Ross a quick hug, before pulling away to inspect the damage up close. “What happened? Are you okay? Sorry, I just got your voicemail when I got back from work and I came here as soon as I could.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’m feeling a bit better now—or that might just be because of nerve damage. I don’t know,” Ross simpered, cradling a hockey puck in his hands. “This hit me in the face at the game.”

“Man, that must’ve hurt. You sure you’re okay? Where’s Monica and the girls?”

Ross lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “They were having a slumber party and I didn’t want to bother them. I knew you wouldn’t be doing anything important tonight, so I left you a message instead.”

A mild scowl danced over your features. “Gee, thanks, Ross. I mean, you’re right, but you didn’t have to say it.” You swung your gaze to Chandler and Joey, who looked just as tired as Ross was, if not more so. “What happened to you guys?”

“Ross wouldn’t stop talking about his… first time consummating with Carol,” Chandler groaned, pulling at the skin of his face in frustration. “Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling of an orgasm, we get it! Could I get some painkillers over here, please?”

Joey nodded his agreement. “He’s right, enough already! What’s the big deal about today, anyway? So you slept with her for the first time today—you slept with her for seven whole years after that!”

Curious, you sank down into a chair beside Ross, regarding him with narrowed eyes.

“It’s just… a little more complicated than that.”

“Well, what is it?” asked Chandler. “That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?”

Ross shot his friend a half-hearted glare. “A little louder, I think there’s a man on the twelfth floor in a coma who didn’t quite hear you!” Swallowing slightly, he sighed out, “My first time with Carol was… It was…”

You placed a comforting hand on his knee. “It was your first time ever?” you asked sympathetically.

Pursing his lips to the side, Ross nodded.

Chandler and Joey appeared shocked. “Oh,” they both murmured at the same time.

“So, in your entire life, there’s only been one—?” Chandler began, almost timidly.

“Man, hockey was a big mistake,” piped Joey. “There’s a whole bunch of other things we could’ve done tonight!”

Before you could reply with a scathing remark, a doctor called out Ross’ name, and he got up and quickly scampered away, most likely embarrassed to no end.

You gave Joey’s shoulder a shove once he was completely out of sight. “Can you at least be a little empathetic for him? No wonder he was being extra mopey today—he must feel awful about it.”

“I just can’t believe he’s only been with Carol,” Joey said, still stunned, and feeling a bit guilty.

“I think it’s great,” said Chandler. “It’s sweet. It’s romantic.”

You cocked your head at him incredulously. “Really?”

“God, no, he’s a total freak!”

“Oh, piss off, Chandler. What does it matter if he’s only been with one person? Body count doesn’t matter at all, you know,” you hissed, still feeling particularly sensitive about the whole ordeal with the waitress and how she had used you as a homewrecker.

Joey rubbed your shoulder in a placating manner, and you placed your hand on top of his with a reassuring smile.

Chandler watched the interaction, narrowing his eyes. “What’s with you two lately?”

“What?” the two of you both said at once. His hand fell away from yours.

“I don’t know, you guys just both seem off. Did something happen? Did you sleep together or something?”

“No!” you said, a bit too quickly, wrinkling your nose. Technically you did sleep with him, just not in the way Chandler was insinuating. “No, Joey just helped me out with some personal things. It’s no big deal.”

Before Chandler could ask more about it, Ross walked back out to the waiting room, and you bolted out of the chair, quickly grabbing Ross’ arm and leading him out of the hospital.

The next morning, you strode into the cafe with droopy eyes, yawning behind a fist, plopping down on the sofa between Phoebe and Chandler. The group was discussing… bras? Honestly, you were too tired to comprehend what they were talking about, so you just nodded along and stole sips from Phoebe’s mug of coffee.

“You know what actually blows my mind?” said Joey. “Women can see breasts anytime they want!”

“Jo, honey, men have breasts, too,” you put forth, a bit more awake now that you’ve had some coffee. “Just because they’re flat doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

He sighed dreamily. “I wish I had ‘em. Just look down, and there they are! How any of you get work done is beyond me.”

“You know what I wanna know? How guys can say such mean things and not even care,” said Phoebe, playing with the silver rings on her fingers.

The group fell into silence, before Ross snapped his fingers. “Multiple orgasms!”

By now, you’d completely lost track of where the conversation had gone, so you fished out a book from your bag and began reading, shifting so that Phoebe could lean against you as you read.

“Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone,” reasoned Monica.

“What?” You put your book down. “You’re breaking up with Janice?”

“Yeah,” he said, in a rather off-putting manner. “Didn’t know I had to tell you everything since you don’t bother with telling the rest of us about yourself.”

You blinked, sitting upright so quickly that Phoebe’s head slipped from your shoulder and she nearly face-planted into the couch.

“What’s he talking about, Y/N?” asked Ross, looking worried.

Your eyes shifted to briefly meet Joey’s concerned ones, but you averted your gaze to the ground shamefully.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you feel left out in any way, Chandler. I’m just not really comfortable telling the entire group right now. Is that okay?”

“Oh, honey, it’s okay,” said Phoebe from beside you, rubbing your knee in reassurance. “Take all the time you need.”

A bit dejected, Chandler nodded his head. “Yeah, I get that. Sorry if I was being too pushy. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, that’s all.”

A hint of a smile tugged the corner of your lips upward. “I’m okay, Chandler. I promise. But what’s this about Janice?”

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “It’s just so hard to break up with her! I mean, I’m sitting there, and she’s got no idea what’s happening… then there’s that awkward moment after I’ve handed her the note. Blurgh!” He shivered at the thought of it.

“Why do you have to break up with her?” Joey postulated. “Just stop calling. Simple.”

It was then that a beautiful blonde woman in a form-fitting red dress strode into the cafe, heels clacking loudly against the wooden floors. You blinked—she looked so familiar—

“Hi, Joey,” she said flippantly as she passed by the couches, before taking a seat by the island.

Once she was far enough not to be within earshot, Joey’s eyes widened and he whisper-yelled, “Holy shit, Angela.”

Right, Angela.

“Wow,” said Monica, craning her neck to try and get a good look at her. “Being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.”

“Are you gonna go over there?” Phoebe asked.

“No!” said Joey. He looked back to her by the island. “Yes—no! Okay, but not yet. I don’t wanna seem too eager.”

You frowned when he started counting down the seconds under his breath. Not even five seconds later, he was already on his feet, off to speak to Angela.

Rolling your eyes, you opened up your book back up again and began reading.

By the counter, Joey was perched on the seat beside Angela, inches away from her.

“Forget it, Joey, I’m with Bob now!” said the blonde.

“Bob? Who the hell’s Bob?”

“Well, Bob is great. He’s smart, sophisticated, and he’s got a real job! You, on the other hand, you go on three auditions a month and call yourself an actor! But Bob—”

Joey huffed, leaning closer to her. Her perfume was a bit too strong, and he could feel his eyes welling up from the sting, but he blinked the tears away. “Come on, Angela. We were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too!”

“Sorry, Joey. You said you wanted to be friends, and I respected that. And I could tell you had feelings for someone else while we were dating. Your heart just wasn’t in it!” Suddenly, she grabbed her purse, eager to get away from her ex as quickly as she could.

“Alright—so why don’t the four of us go out and have dinner tonight? Like a double date, or something,” Joey said, immediately regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Who the hell was going to be the fourth person?

It seemed the same exact thing was going through Angela’s head, because she stopped in her tracks, turning back to Joey with quirked brows. “What ‘four of us’?”

“You and Bob, and me and my… uh, partner…” He glanced back to the sofa, where you were curled up to the side, nose buried in your book as you pretended like you were listening to Phoebe recounting how she once met an elf beneath a bridge. “My partner, Y/N. Yeah.”

—

Joey followed you around your kitchen as you made yourself lunch, looking ready to drop down to his knees and beg. Honestly, you weren’t even listening to what he was asking, but you thought it was funny how desperate he was.

“I’m telling you, this guy is perfect for you!”

You cocked a brow, flipping over the egg you were frying, before moving to grab spices. He was in the way of the cabinets, and refused to budge, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Ugh, Joey, I’m done going on double dates with you! Especially not after your dumb cousin who thought it was attractive to burp the alphabet right before we ate.” With a derisive huff, you placed your hands on his shoulders and firmly moved him to the side so you could grab the spices for your lunch. “Why don’t you ask Monica or something? I know she’s still looking for new men to sink her teeth into.”

“Well… I kinda sorta told Angela that you’d be comin’ already.”

You threw your hands up in the air. “Now why on earth would you do that?”

“Come on!” Joey pleaded, clasping his hands together. “This guy’s great, I promise. His name’s Bob, and he’s Angela’s… brother. He’s smart, sophisticated, and he has a real job! Unlike me, goin’ on three auditions a month and calling myself an actor. Please! I’m asking for a favor, here. I’m thinking if I do this for her brother, then Angela might come back to me.”

Biting down on your bottom lip, you turned to fully face him, surprised to see him so close to you. “What’s going on here, Joey? Before you saw Angela today you probably haven’t even thought about her since you dumped the poor girl. You sure you’re not jumping into something you really shouldn’t?”

Joey shook his head firmly. “Seeing her again made me realize that I made a huge mistake. I never should’ve broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?”

A moment of silence stretched thin between the two of you.

You blew out a long sigh. “You owe me one.”

“I’ll owe you a million.”

God, he was giving you that look. The one where his eyebrows would divot and his eyes went all wide and pleading and his lips would pout ever so slightly. You frowned.

“Fine.”

Joey enveloped you into a crushing hug, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek while exclaiming his thanks. You groaned in mock-disgust, wiping away the kiss and slapping his chest so he’d let go of you.

When you turned back to the stove, your egg had already burned.

That night, Joey had showed up to your apartment about five minutes before the double date in a casual grey suit, fiddling with a tie hanging loosely around his neck. “Help me with this?” he asked as soon as you had opened the door, walking in to stand in front of the nearest mirror.

Rolling your eyes to the ceiling, you grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to you, knotting the silky fabric neatly before patting his chest with satisfaction.

“You clean up nice,” he told you sincerely, gaze flicking up and down your form. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you in something that wasn’t jeans.”

You glared at him. “Hey, at least I’m not the one that still doesn’t know how to tie a tie.”

Grinning, Joey pecked your cheek once again. “Thanks again for doin’ this. You’re really gonna like this guy, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, hot shot. Let’s just go.”

“Is that new perfume you’re wearing?” he asked as the two of you stepped out. He leaned down to sniff you while you were locking the door, and you swatted him away with a laugh. “I like it. Smells like blueberries.”

“Thanks,” you told him with a cheeky smile. “I got it at the dollar store for three bucks.”

He laughed, before ushering you along, his hand hovering over your lower back.

The two of you left your apartment at a relatively slow pace considering that you were already a little late to the date. Joey hailed a cab, and you were on your way to the fancy restaurant that Angela had picked.

Oh, man, he was hot. At least Joey wasn’t wrong about you liking this guy. Though, you did find it a bit weird how Angela was batting her eyelashes at her brother in a strangely seductive manner and kept pressing her breasts up against his arm. You weren’t one to judge, though, so you kept your mouth shut and smiled politely.

“So, uh, where did you guys grow up?” You wanted to gag. You absolutely abhorred small talk.

“Brooklyn Heights,” said Angela just as Bob replied with, “Cleveland.”

You were suddenly interested, taking a sip from your glass. “Oh, wow. I know what that’s like—a separated family is tough,” you said.

The two across from you looked at you strangely, as if you’d grown horns out of your head. Angela looked like she wanted to say something, but Joey cleared his throat before she could, steering the conversation away to the food they were eating.

Weird.

Now that you thought about it, Bob had barely even looked your way since you came. You weren’t sure if you should’ve been offended or if something else was going on that Joey wasn’t telling you.

A while later, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, and Angela was quick to stand up as well, linking arms with you with a sweet smile and leading you away.

“So… Bob, huh?” you said once the two of you were in the bathroom. “He seems like a great guy.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Angela said almost breathlessly, pulling out a tube of lipgloss from her purse and began touching up on her makeup.

“It’s nice to meet a guy who’s smart and funny and has an emotional age beyond eight!” you said, mirroring her by fixing up your makeup as well.

The blonde turned to you with a bashful grin. “You wanna know something else? He’s unbelievable in bed!”

You blinked.

God damn it, Joey.

Either this was a sick, twisted case of incest between siblings, or… or Joey lied to you.

You weren’t entirely sure which you preferred it to be.

“Oh, that’s…” Your words trailed off and you forced a wide, unnatural smile. “I’m gonna go talk to Joey for a second, alright?”

You rushed out of the bathroom so quickly that you didn’t catch her confused expression on the way out. Storming back up to the table, you grabbed Joey’s arm and shot Bob a sickly sweet grin.

“Sorry, I’m just going to steal him for a minute. Urgent matters!” you called over your shoulder as you tugged a frazzled Joey along. “You lied to me, Jo. You told me Bob was Angela’s brother!”

Considering he was an actor, Joey was a terrible liar. “They are—he is!”

You crossed your arms, scowling at him.

“Alright, fine,” he relented. “Look, I’m not proud of this, okay?”

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath. “Listen, Jo, if you had just told me the truth, I still would’ve come with you, you know. Not only did you use me, but you just had to lie to me, too. Did you really think I was stupid enough not to notice? She’s got her goddamn tongue in his ear, for crying out loud!” You gestured emphatically to the couple, who were practically climbing on top of each other at this point. You made a noise of disgust, before rummaging in your bag for your wallet and shoving a twenty dollar bill into his chest.

“Here’s some money for the food. I’m leaving.”

“No, wait, come on, Y/N—” His hand wrapped around your wrist just as you began walking to the restaurant’s exit.

Freezing in your tracks, you didn’t bother shaking him away, nor did you wait to hear him out.

“Please, let me go, Joey,” you whispered in a fragile tone. “I just want to go home.”

Reluctant, Joey let you go.

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

You didn’t spare him a glance as you just about bolted out of the restaurant, a film of tears welling over your eyes.

The next day, you trotted down to Central Perk, greeting Ross and Phoebe on the couches, and ordered a drink to-go.

“Hey, guys,” you said as you dropped into a seat across from them.

The pair waved at you. Phoebe’s eyes widened. “Oh, how’d the double date go? Joey didn’t say anything about it when we were all here yesterday. In fact, he was kind of looking off… oh, no, did something bad happen? I knew I sensed bad energy yesterday!”

You pursed your lips to the side. “Yeah, it didn’t really go that well. Joey told me the guy I was supposed to be on a blind date with was Angela’s brother, but in reality, he was her boyfriend, and he was just using me to get his ex back.”

“He what?” Ross practically screeched. “I’m gonna kill him. I’m—”

As if on cue, Joey and Chandler sauntered into the cafe, loudly discussing the difference between jelly and jam.

When Joey’s eyes landed on you, he visibly brightened, rushing over to the couches.

“Y/N, I—”

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Ross bit out, abruptly getting up to stand between you and Joey. “How could you use Y/N like they were just one of your side pieces? They’re one of your best friends, Joey. They’re one of my best friends—not just some person you can throw away after a date.”

Chandler doubled in shock. “Did I just walk into a Spanish soap opera? What’s going on?”

“That was really shitty of you, Joey,” Phoebe added scathingly.

“I know,” Joey said, carding a hand through his hair. “Please, can I just talk to you, Y/N? Alone?”

Before Ross or Phoebe could intervene again, you nodded, more out of pity than anything. After storming out of the restaurant yesterday, you had quite a bit of time to cool down. Sure, you were still angry at him, but definitely not as much as last night.

“I’m sorry,” he said when the two of you had moved to a more secluded part of the cafe. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t know what I was thinkin’. I just got so hellbent on getting Angela back that I completely became a total jerk about it. I don’t even really like her all that much, it just rubbed me the wrong way when I found out that she was doing so much better without me. I’m sorry for dragging you into it—and lying to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I care about you a lot, and I would never want to hurt you.”

A part of you didn’t want to forgive him. You wanted to smack his stupidly handsome, pleading face and tell him to kiss your ass.

But you couldn’t.

“Oh, Jo,” you sighed, burying your face into your palms. “You can’t just… you can’t do that ever again. I trust you a lot, Joey. Yesterday really made me wonder if I was an idiot for giving you that trust. I don’t know if this makes me an even bigger idiot, but I still trust you.”

“I’m really sorry,” he parroted, spreading his arms out. “I’ll buy you a million movie tickets, or I’ll never steal from your fridge ever again, or I’ll come with you to those boring art museums you like so much, just—please don’t be mad at me anymore.”

You really couldn’t resist, looping your own arms over his waist, cheek resting against his shoulder. “Ugh, just shut up. I’m still really mad at you, but… I forgive you. Promise never to lie to me like that ever again.”

“I promise,” he said, pulling away to make sure you were looking him straight in the eye.

“Okay,” you huffed, a grin tugging at the corner of your lips. “God, stop being so serious, Joey. I swear, you look like you’re about to cry.”

The man across from you sniffled a little. “Well, sorry if the thought of losing one of my best friends makes me just a little sad!”

You roped him into another warm hug, patting his back comfortingly.

When the two of you parted, both wearing reflective beams, you began walking back to the couches with his hand laced in yours. The group was now pretending as if they hadn’t been listening to your entire conversation—Ross scrambled to pick up a magazine and was reading it upside down, Chandler began counting on his fingers, and Phoebe turned to her side and started talking to thin air.

You stifled a laugh, sinking into the couch. “You guys can stop pretending like you weren’t eavesdropping now.”

“Oh, thank God,” exclaimed Chandler. “I was getting really tired of counting how many fingers I had.”

It was around a week after your little spat with Joey, the two of you were right back to your normal, light-hearted relationship. You sat beside him on Monica’s couch, having just lit up a bunch of candles to luminate the dark apartment. The entire city was in a blackout, and you weren’t too keen on getting back to your apartment in the pitch darkness.

The entire group was there, as well, save for Chandler, who was apparently stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. You would’ve been worried for him, but he sounded perfectly excited to be in such a confined space with a beautiful woman, so you weren’t too concerned.

“Okay, okay,” said Monica, snapping you out of your reverie. “Senior year of college, on a pool table.”

Both you and Joey oohed with teasing smiles as Rachel raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Pool table? That must’ve been uncomfortable!”

“My weirdest place would have to be… the women’s room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.” Joey crossed his arms and grinned, looking mighty proud of himself.

“Really? What were you doing in a library?” you scoffed. Joey pinched your thigh in response and you slapped his hand away with a laugh. “What about you, Pheebs?”

“Milwaukee,” the blonde responded, smiling.

The rest of you bobbed your heads awkwardly, before Ross piped up, “Mine would be Disneyland, 1989. It’s a small world after all.”

The group whooped raunchily. “My God, Ross!”

“Yeah, the ride broke down, so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical children.”

You grimaced. “Ugh, too much information, Ross. Did you get in trouble?”

There was a mischievous gleam in his eye as he responded, “There’s a reason why I’m not allowed in the Magic Kingdom anymore.”

You dissolved into laughter, before straightening yourself. “I’d say my craziest would be… on a piano after a concert. Let’s just say—he was really good with his fingers.”

With a gasp, Rachel swatted your arm in a giddy fashion. “Who was it, who was it?”

“Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell,” you said, miming locking your lips shut and throwing the key away.

Joey rolled his eyes. “I think you were doing a lot more than just kissing.”

The rest of the group snickered, and you shoved him lightly. “What about you, Rachel?”

The brunette scratched her neck sheepishly. “What? I already went.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Monica. “Come on, Rach, tell us!”

Sighing begrudgingly, Rachel puckered her lips to the side in thought. “Alright, uh, the weirdest place would have to be… the foot of the bed?”

“We have a winner!” exclaimed Joey with a wide smile.

“I don’t know, I’ve just never had that kind of relationship with someone. You know, where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park? Or—or on a piano, or a pool table. See, Barry wouldn’t even kiss me on a miniature-golf course. He said we were holding up the people behind us,” she said, expression dropping.

Phoebe placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “Barry was an asshole!” You nodded along in agreement, raising a glass of apple juice at her words.

“I don’t know… do you guys think there are people who just go through life without…” She gestured emphatically, looking unsure of herself.

“Probably,” said Ross. “But I’ll tell you what—passion is way overrated. Eventually, it kind of burns out. But hopefully what you’re left with is trust and security, and, well in my case—lesbianism.”

Joey guffawed, and you choked on your juice mid-sip.

Tentative, you began speaking up, “Yeah, Rach, sometimes love or sex doesn’t have to be loud and extravagant or reckless or whatever. It can just be there, you know? It’s not bad to have quiet love, too. The kind where you’re comfortable to be silent around each other.”

“You’re right,” said Rachel, deep in thought. “I’m going to the bathroom—I’ll be right back.”

Monica and Phoebe also got up from their seats, stretching out their tensed muscles. “We’re going to go sit out on the balcony—it’s not often we get to see the city in complete darkness.”

“I’m staying here,” you murmured contentedly, just about melting against the cushions. Joey brought your legs up to rest over his own and you grinned at him.

The two women looked at each other knowingly, before ducking out through the window to the balcony. Ross stayed back too, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s never going to work, you know,” Joey told him.

“What? What’re you talking about?” he asked, miffed.

“You and Rachel,” he replied in a hushed whisper, rubbing his hand over your knee. You hummed pleasantly, shutting your eyes—Joey had no doubt that you were already completely knocked out. “I know you like her.”

There was a beat of silence. “Wh… why don’t you think it’ll work out?” queried Ross.

“Because you’ve waited too long to ask her out, and now you’ve been friend-zoned!” replied Joey.

Ross narrowed his eyes. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Joey said, furrowing his brows.

“Nothing, nevermind.” The tall man waved his friend away. “I’m not in the friend-zone!”

“No, Ross, you’re like the mayor of the zone!”

Frowning, Ross shook his head vehemently. Frustration wove tightly through his words like vines. “I’m taking my time, okay? I’m laying down the groundwork. Every day I get a little bit closer to—”

“Priesthood!” exclaimed Joey, wincing when you shifted, mumbling in your sleep. “Face it, Ross, if you don’t ask her out soon, you’ll end up stuck in the zone forever.”

“I will,” he emphasized, more like he was convincing himself than Joey. “I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

Joey spread his arms out with an incredulous expression. “What’s keeping you? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You just gotta go up to her and—”

It was then that Rachel came out of the bathroom, cooing when she caught sight of you curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly.

Joey shot Ross a meaningful look, and the taller man rose from the sofa. “Hey, Rach, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?”

“Oh, sure,” she replied, a bit confused, but followed him away from the living room.

That left just you and Joey on the couch, and he sighed, glancing down at you, basking in the gentle glow of the moonlight. Shadows arched over your features, softened with slumber. A strange feeling curled up within his gut—one that he couldn’t recall ever feeling before. It clutched over his rib cage and wound itself over his lungs, leaving his breaths tight and uneven. He reached out to brush a stray tendril of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

One of your eyes cracked open and you groggily propped yourself up on an elbow. “Why’re you staring at me?”

That feeling in Joey’s gut seemed to intensify, and he squirmed in uncomfort.

“You’re just…” he started, narrowing his eyes as he searched for the right words.

“I’m just…?”

“You just… really make me happy,” he finally said, unsure if that was what he wanted to say. Dissatisfaction scratched down his throat but he swallowed it down.

A cheeky grin painted itself across your lips. “Okay, you big sap. You make me happy, too.” You shifted your position so you could rest your head on his shoulder, already drifting off to sleep again.

By the time you woke up, the city was still shrouded in complete darkness, but there was a new stranger in Monica’s apartment. Rachel introduced him to you as Paolo, who lived a couple stories below, and you flinched in surprise when he had taken your hand and placed a soft kiss.

God, he was practically eye-fucking you on the spot!

You nodded uncomfortably, pulling away to stand behind Joey, who crossed his arms in an almost protective manner.

“So, uh, what’s Paolo doing here?”

“Well, we found his cat wandering on the balconies and we brought it to him!” said Rachel, clapping her hands together. You noted with mild interest that Ross had angry red claw marks down one side of his face.

For the rest of the night, Rachel was all over Paolo, and Monica and Phoebe were fawning over him for the side.

“Gosh, just look at his face! I just wanna bite his bottom lip, you know?” Phoebe had told you, eyes glimmering.

You blinked. “I don’t, but, thanks for telling me, Pheebs!”

Rachel rushed to you with fluttering hands and a smile so wide that it was a wonder her face didn’t split into two. Paolo was by the window, watching the moon with a dazed expression—alright, maybe you could kind of see where the appeal came from.

“The first time he smiled at me—those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry! I mean, I know it’s totally superficial and we have nothing in common and we don’t even speak the same language, but, God!”

“Man, you’re horny,” you commented, which earned you a sharp glare from her. You raised your hands backing away. “Go get him, tiger!”

A couple hours later, the entire group was back on the couches (plus Paolo), and the last candle was on its way to burning out.

Phoebe began counting down, but Joey blew it out in exasperation, which made you glare at him—not that he could see it.

“Kinda spooky without the lights on, huh?” he whispered into your ear, and you nearly screamed at the sudden ticklish sensation of his fingers prodding your side. You tried smacking his shoulder, but because as you couldn’t see a single thing, you ended up slapping his face a little too hard, and he doubled over, a strained noise wrangling out of his throat.

Conveniently, the lights began to slowly flicker on. The group gasped, but you just assumed that they were surprised to see Joey in pain.

You cradled Joey’s face in your hands, checking if you did any lasting damage. You promptly let go of him when he appeared to be just fine, saying, “Oh, don’t be such a baby, Jo.”

When you finally looked up, you realized the true reason why the group had gasped.

Rachel and Paolo were heavily making out against the wall, looking ready to tear each other’s clothes right off.

“Oh,” you said, not really surprised at all. “Paolo lost his cat and suddenly he got an entire new pussy.”

The group burst into laughter at your comment, which made Rachel flip you off, not even bothering to break the kiss. She led him into her room and slammed the door behind her.

“Lights are back on—I should get going home,” you said, getting up from your seat and moving to the door.

The rest of the friends chimed their goodbyes, but Joey was quick to protest. “Wait, uh, what if the lights turn back off? I don’t want you going home all alone in the dark.”

You stopped in your tracks, tilting your head. “I don’t live that far, it’s only a couple blocks—”

“Just stay at my place for the night,” he said, leading you to the door. “You can leave first thing in the morning, when it’s bright out.”

“You sure? I don’t wanna impose on you and Chandler or anything. Speaking of Chandler, I hope he’s doing okay,” you said, suddenly remembering that he was still stuck somewhere with Jill Goodacre. Yeah, he was definitely more than okay.

“Yeah, I’m sure Chandler’s fine,” replied Joey. “But yeah, I’m also sure I want you to stay—besides, my bed’s too big for just one person, you know?”

Rolling your eyes, you patted his chest, before walking across the hall and into his apartment. Teasingly, you said, “If you wanted me to sleep with you, you could’ve just asked, Jo. No funny business, though, right?”

“Yeah,” he choked out, a bit delayed before following you in. “No funny business.”

#joey tribbiani x reader #friends fanfiction #joey tribbiani fanfiction #joey tribbiani fluff #joey tribbiani angst #joey tribbiani smut #rachel green x reader #rachel green angst #rachel green fluff #rachel green smut #joey tribbiani imagines #joey tribbiani drabbles #rachel green imagines #rachel green drabbles #friends x reader #friends joey x reader #friends rachel x reader

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bigtreefest · 8 months ago

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Chapter 1: I Don’t Curtsy

From: The Banes of the Ball Series

Pairing: Jimmy Dobyne x Heiress! Reader

Summary: You don’t enjoy attending debutante balls, but it’s all about keeping up appearances. Doing so is much easier when you’re not the one who has secrets that can ruin a reputation. You just happen to know them all…

Word count: 1,346

Content/warnings: Me knowing next to NOTHING about the southern debutante season and frankly being a little disgusted by the concept, Jimmy trying to be intimidating, mentions of societal expectations, reader holds many secrets, allusion to drinking (reader lowkey has alc in her cup, but I didn’t say it)

Author’s Note: After much discussion with @sweater-daddiesdumbdork this series is my attempt at remaking the ending of The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond. I was really unsatisfied with Jimmy’s character arc, so this is the start of his realizations of wrongdoing and redemption. I’ll do my best to set the stage for those who have not watched.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >

Jimmy looked around at the ornate ballroom. Pillars, chandeliers, and all. This type of scene was still much fancier than what he was used to, and he was more than ready to be done with pretending to partake in the life of luxury, but Fisher, the woman whom he was still escorting to the events of this debutante season, insisted they act as though all is well.

Fisher had received one more invitation following the debacle at the Halloween party several weeks ago, from you. She hadn’t expected anyone to acknowledge her existence anymore, given the scene that was caused over her lost earring, dishonesty, and inability to fit in. However, if anything, the scene had caught your eye, as many things tended to.

You and Fisher had grown up together, spending several years in school making jokes few others had the ability to understand. You hadn’t seen her since she had gone off to college and you had gone—well, elsewhere…for awhile.

Fisher was taken aback when she received the mail. She believed your invitation to have come out of pity, but it was anything but. To be honest, the sight of her little scene at Halloween had just brought back your fond memories. It seemed like she needed support…and maybe a friend. Either way, she would have thought herself to be a fool to not take the opportunity to raise her status once again by showing someone with such a respected reputation requested her presence.

Since returning home, your hadn’t had much say in your debut as an eligible bachelorette. Your mother and aunts had coordinated everything, from your dresses, to your appearances, to the ball hosted at your family’s manor. Your reputation was high, and according to your family, important to upkeep. The politics of these events bothered you, though. So much effort put in just to have so little say in the rest of your life once you were married off. It was a daunting truth for many women of this age.

Therefore, you were going to take every small step of defiance you could, starting with Fisher’s invitation to the ball. It killed two birds with one stone: helping her reclaim her reputation and upsetting your family with the surprise, knowing they couldn’t show their disgruntled feelings at the event for fear of improperly ‘upkeeping’ their status.

Of course, Fisher accepting your invite meant she’d bring an escort along, likely Jimmy Dobyne; someone who you already knew more about than he’d like.

You sipped your punch in a secluded corner of the grand ballroom of your family’s ancestral home, careful to keep from staining your obnoxiously ornate white dress. You surveyed the room, your escort long gone, out dancing with the girls he truly coveted. He was a cousin’s friend, doing your aunts a favor by attending these events by your side. Neither of you harbored interest for the other, though, making it easy for you to slip away and for him to schmooze as he pleased.

You’d always preferred to observe, anyway. You had developed a skill set of learning to find higher ground which allowed you to see events without drawing attention to yourself. This prompted you to learn a lot of information at several events. From your dark recesses of rooms, you’d seen it all: business dealings, less-than-savory behavior, and every secret under the sun.

This all was a product of being the only heir to your family. You had learned from a young age that if you could effectively blend into the background, that would mitigate any questioning you were prone to face. You only had to make yourself seen every so often. And sure, you still had to wear dresses to appease the aunts, but at least no one bothered you in your solace, until you were found.

Somewhere behind an exotic plant in the corner of a rarely-used staircase, you were surprised when a tall, black tuxedo crowded your view. Broad shoulders turned around and your eyes met those of Jimmy Dobyne.

You stepped out from your hiding place, knowing you would have to strike up conversation, and not wanting to expose your spot by making it look like Jimmy was talking to a plant instead of a person.

“Well good evening, James. It’s wonderful to see you here, does this mean Fisher is in attendance, as well?”

You leaned against the wall as Jimmy moved to do the same next to you, speaking to the side.

“Good evening. A nice ball your family has thrown. Yes, she’s downstairs making the rounds.”

You nodded, taking another sip of punch.

“Oh, thank you. They truly have an eye for grand things. A shame Fishy didn’t find me up here with you. I always liked her.”

Jimmy nodded. “She and I have our own interests at these types of events. I consider some of these people my friends. I am not sure if Fisher can say the same. She was surprised to see your invitation. We both were.”

“Well, yes, it’s been a long while since we’ve spoken. I do hope she’s enjoying herself.”

Jimmy let out a slight chuckle. “I hope so, as well. Why are you not out dancing? This is your family’s ball.”

It was your turn to laugh back, but it came out as more of a scoff. “I don’t enjoy playing into the traditions if I can help it. I don’t curtsy. It’s bad enough I’ve been taken away from other comforts and squeezed into this ridiculous dress. No need for another discomfort. I would be fighting against the rules just like Fisher if I didn’t believe my compliance would ultimately lead to freedom.”

Jimmy looked at you thoughtfully. “I’m not sure is Fisher is much better off. Many don’t like her and she isn’t on an easy road.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, taking in what you already knew. “It’s a shame, really. I truly do admire dear Fishy. If you ask me, she’s the only one who’s really sane at these events. Pointing out the flaws in behavior. Challenging her own father over his poor decisions.”

You trailed off before looking over and up into Jimmy’s eyes, locking in before you continued, speaking with a certain steel coldness in your voice. “She doesn’t deserve the mistreatment she faces. Especially from those she considers closest to her.”

Jimmy’s demeanor grew harder, his shoulders pulling forward in a near-attempt of intimidation. You wouldn’t waver, though. You’ve fought off worse than a single farm boy, enlisted to be a proper, well-behaved escort. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

Your lips morphed into a tight smile as your tilted your head to the side. “Oh calm down, James. Here, have a drink. It’ll settle your anger.”

You pushed your cup towards him before retracting quickly. A patronizing tone laced your voice. “Or is that what has you acting with such little decorum?”

Jimmy huffed and looked at you with a gaze that was meant to be even more piercing. “Now, what is that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged, looking off into the distance to be sure no one was paying the two of you any attention. “James. Do calm down. I don’t enjoy attending these events any more than you, and the last thing I need is for you to draw an unwanted gaze our way. My hideaway has already been discovered by one person, lest others see. You and I both do not want to be here, so let’s not make our presence emphasized. Understood?”

His nostrils flared as he threw his back against the wall once again, biting the corner of his bottom lip to hold his tongue.

“These moments of refuge in hidden places are sacred to me. They keep me out of the societal eye that I do despise, as well as let me see everything.”

You stood on your toes and leaned towards Jimmy’s ear, whispering. “And I do see everything.”

Jimmy’s face dropped in shock, but you didn’t see, having already started walking away up the staircase.

Next >

Bonus A/N: whew, here we go, folks. Someone tell me to stop starting new series lol

#Jimmy dobyne #jimmy dobyne x reader #jimmy dobyne fanfiction #Jimmy dobyne x you #the banes of the ball #the banes of the ball series #Jimmy dobyne x heiress reader #Jimmy dobyne x heiress! reader #heiress reader #heiress! reader #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction

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rickie-the-storyteller · 2 months ago

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Behind Closed Doors - Sneak Peek

I've been meaning to start posting dialogue plans again, just like old times. But instead of Steph's Crew (which I have actually made private on here now), I've decided to do it for a brand new story with a totally different vibe to that particular series.

Here's an introduction to my NYC billionaire romance drama (with a side of social commentary and music industry/corporate culture exploration) - Behind Closed Doors!

It follows Renaud Entertainment - a huge company split into 5 different divisions of entertainment production (different things like TV, film etc). It is a family business, started by the late Marc Renaud - a business-savvy French man with a passion for creativity. He and his wife, Isabelle, had five children together. This story follows the middle child (Vincent. During the main events of the story, he is the head of Renaud Records - the music production division of the company) and his love story with a kind, fiercely independent and principled nonprofit worker named Elena Crewe.

I will start posting dialogue plans in chronological order soon, but before I do that, I'll be giving you guys a sneak peek into this story by sharing a written excerpt that I have done for it. Unfortunately, it doesn't feature the female lead, but I thought it would make a good introduction to the story because it features Vincent and his four other siblings - all very fun and important characters.

Unlike with Steph's Crew, this story doesn't have any content warnings for strong language lol. I've tried to keep the dialogues clean for the most part.

Anyways, enjoy!

Wedding Day

Vincent adjusted his tie for the fourth time, staring at his reflection in the church bathroom mirror. The fabric felt like it was strangling him, though he knew it wasn't actually too tight. Everything about today felt suffocating.

"You've been hiding in here for fifteen minutes," Lewis said from the doorway. "People are starting to think you fell in."

"I'm not hiding."

"No?" Lewis raised an eyebrow. "What would you call it then?"

Vincent turned away from the mirror, forcing a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Just making sure I look presentable. Unlike some people," he muttered, gesturing at Lewis's slightly crooked bow tie.

"Deflection through insults. Classic Vincent." Lewis stepped forward to check his tie in the mirror. "You know you don't have to stay for the reception if it's too much for you."

"Why would it be too much?" Vincent's voice came out sharper than intended. "It's just a wedding. I've been to dozens."

"Yeah, but this one's different—"

"It's really not."

The bathroom door swung open and Gabriel entered, looking between his brothers. "There you are. Sophia sent me to check if you were still alive." He studied Vincent's face. "Are you okay?"

"I swear to God, if one more person asks me that…" Vincent ran a hand through his carefully styled hair, immediately regretting it. "I'm fine. More than fine. Absolutely fantastic."

Gabriel and Lewis exchanged a look that made Vincent want to punch something.

"Stop that," he snapped.

"Stop what?"

"That thing you do. The 'poor Vincent' look. I don't need it. Especially not today."

Gabriel sighed. "We're just worried—"

"Well, don't be. Jules and I dated for six weeks in high school. If you can even call it dating. I paid her to pretend to be my girlfriend because I wanted to one-up you two. That's it. End of story."

"You liked her though," Lewis said quietly. "Really liked her. Even if it started out fake—"

"Okay. Can we not do this right now?" Vincent cut him off, checking his watch. "The ceremony's about to start."

As if on cue, organ music began to drift in from the chapel. Vincent brushed past his brothers, but Gabriel caught his arm. "Vin—"

"I'm fine," Vincent insisted, though his voice shook slightly on the word. He shook of Gabriel's hand and turned away, making his way to the ceremony. His brothers watched him in concerned silence, before following after him.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, in that generic way all weddings were beautiful. Vincent sat between his younger sisters, Camille and Sophia, grateful for their quiet presence in comparison to his older brothers. They didn't ask if he was okay or give him concerned looks. They just existed beside him, Sophia occasionally squeezing his hand when Jules said her vows.

Jules was radiant. That was the worst part. She practically glowed with happiness as she promised forever to Mark – the same Mark she'd left Vincent for all those years ago. The same Mark she'd gone to that stupid dance with, the last big dance before…

Vincent pushed the thought away. Ancient history. It didn't matter anymore.

At the reception, he found himself at the bar, nursing his second scotch when Jules appeared beside him.

"You came," she said softly.

"You invited me."

"Wasn't sure you would actually accept it, though." She smiled, and for a moment he saw echoes of that sixteen-year-old girl who used to share her lunch with him every day. "I'm really glad you did."

Vincent took another sip of scotch. "Congratulations. You look happy."

"I am. Very much so," she said, her smile never leaving her face. She seemed to genuinely mean what she was saying. She paused, almost hesitantly, before speaking again. "Are you? Happy, I mean?"

He turned to look at her properly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Vincent…" She sighed. "We never really talked about… everything. How it ended. And then your mom—"

"Don't." His voice was quiet but firm. "Please."

Jules nodded, respecting the boundary. After a moment, she spoke again. "I just want you to know that you deserve to be happy too. Really happy, not just… comfortable. Or in control."

Vincent's laugh was hollow. "And what makes you think I'm not?"

"Because I know you." She touched his arm gently. "I always have."

Before Vincent could say anything else back, Mark appeared, wrapping an arm around Jules' waist. Jules let Vincent go and immediately melted into her husband's side as if it were natural."Mind if I steal my wife for a dance?"

Wife. The word hit Vincent like a physical blow for some reason.

"She's all yours, man," Vincent said, trying to sound as casual as possible as he watched them leave together. "Always was. Always will be. Forever."

He watched them move to the dance floor, the way they fit together so naturally. No contracts. No transactions. Just love.

Camille found him later, sitting alone at his table, watching the couples dance.

"Last chance to ask the bride for a dance," she teased, but her eyes were gentle.

"I think I'll pass."

She sat beside him, following his gaze to where Jules and Mark were still swaying together, lost in their own world.

"You know," Camille said carefully, "it's okay to admit that something meant something to you. Even if it wasn't supposed to."

Vincent was quiet for a long moment. "She was my best friend," he finally said, so softly Camille almost missed it. "Before everything else… she was my best friend. My only real one."

Camille took his hand, and this time, he let her.

"You okay?"

This time, Vincent considers the question. "No," he admits. "But I will be."

Later, in his car, Vincent loosens his tie and lets out a long breath. His phone buzzes – another potential arrangement, another woman willing to play by his rules. He stares at the message for a long moment.

Then he puts the phone away and drives home alone.

In his mansion that night, Vincent poured himself another drink and looks at an old photo from high school – him and Jules at that last dance, both trying to pretend everything was fine. He doesn't keep many photos from back then, but this one… this one he's kept.

"To real love," he toasted sarcastically to the empty room, but something in his chest feels hollow. He put the photo away in his desk drawer, next to the last birthday card his mother ever gave him.

Some things, he's learning, can't be bought. But that doesn't mean he's ready to risk trying to earn them honestly either.

Not yet.

The hangover from the wedding day lasted three full days, but the cold emptiness dragged on for much, much longer.

There it is! It isn't perfect, I know... but I quite like it as an introduction. Let me know your thoughts on it! I'm pretty excited about this series.

#rickie-the-storyteller #writerblr #rickie writes #original content #original characters #behind closed doors #vincent renaud #jules martinez #gabriel renaud #lewis renaud #camille renaud #sophia renaud #wedding scene #series intro #new series

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vinnoa-articles · 1 year ago

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Meat Stealing

[Image by Eiichiro Oda] Habit Substitute Drabble Series! This will be 1 out of the 8 drabbles I will be writing, because, why not? Some characters like certain things on a daily. But what if you were there? Here are the links for the others. [Luffy] [Zoro] [Usopp] [Sanji] [Law] [Smoker] [Crocodile]

Rating: Anyone

Word count: 711

Type: Fluff

Characters: Luffy, reader, Strawhats Trigger warnings/content: None.

There he was, sinking his teeth into his sixty-eighth piece of meat. Sanji was sighing, half expecting this same routine, yet half exhausted to even keep cooking since dusk. Yet, the Straw Hats already knew this was Luffy’s normal quirk, which was why they stockpiled and even locked up the ingredients every night. Depriving the poor captain from snacking late at night, stuffing his face until the pantry was gone. Luckily, now, it was time to feast. Luffy reached around Zoro to grab the extra piece of meat that was orphaned on your plate.

“Hey! That’s mine!” You angrily snarl, stabbing the well done steak with your fork. “You already had so many!” Glaring at Luffy to meet his bloated, chipmunk stuffed face. His chewing was loud, but his swallow was louder. His arm snapped, hitting Zoro’s head to lean forward. “I haven’t even gotten a piece yet! Can’t you eat someone else or at least ask?”

“Oi! Luffy!” Zoro's angry tone is trying to interrupt the quarrel between the two of you. “Watch what you are doing!” Yet, the captain didn’t let go. In fact, Luffy yanked trying to make the fork release the poor meat prisoner under your grasp.

“Meat! It’s mine if you are not eating it!” Following suit, your fork still hooked on the meat, but following his arm as you fought over his strength. His jaw now clenching, his face slimmed down as his expression contorted.

“No, it's mine!” You growl, your mouth inching closer and closer to the meat, your teeth clamping around the steak, claiming your property. “See? Mine!” Luffy still was not having it, he thought maybe he could tear off the rest of the meat. The fight was stagnant, as the table was full of laughter, some onlookers just chuckling to see the outcome between this childish battle over meat. There was a tug, you resisted right back, the cycle of pulling from him to you kept you two in place, making the crew laugh. “Give it up!”

“Never!” Luffy finally roared, yanking as hard as he could, pulling you close as the piece of meat tore, your body lurching forward. Luffy smiled, winning the tug of war, cheering. “Victory! Meat!” His smile wide, trailing from cheek to cheek until-

“Luffy-!” Your voice cuts off, both your lips meet. Silence rippled through the table, a few gasps. Sanji’s cigarette fell, Nami’s face fell along with many other crew members. The taste of sauce, along with some vinaigrette met your lips. Savory, sweet, but it wasn’t the main issue. This was a kiss, at the table, in front of the Straw Hats. Pulling away, both in shock, almost confused and flustered, at least that is how you felt. “You- Luffy you-”

“Oh…man…the meat fell on the floor,” his eyes trailing to the meat that fell on the floor. “Well, five second rule!” His fingers grasped the steak, as he dangled it above his tongue, letting it drop into his jaws, swallowing it whole. “Woo, you tasted good-.” Your eyes widened, Luffy scratched his head as all eyes were on him with what he said. “What? I can’t waste food.”

“I- I taste good?” Luffy gasps, but then smiles, his hand running through his locks, laughing.

“Oh! I mean the meat tastes good! I will say you did taste good though!” Your face flushed red, confirming his words. He was a ditz at this moment, he didn’t realize how those words affected you. “Maybe we will have to share a meal again like this!” Only for Robin to speak up from the end of the table, her casual demeanor cloaking the room. Only for some of the guy's to cough, their mind thinking of the kiss that made them glance away from the accident that just unfolded. The table was awkward now, only you and Luffy were fixated at what transpired.

“Well, now we have someone who can stop Luffy from eating too much right?” Her chuckle, only causing a few people to laugh, but Sanji stops and nearly cries from protest. Just maybe, maybe you were his substitute for his cravings. Only for you to nearly wrestle Luffy, stretching his rubber face out to scold him from ever stealing your food ever again.

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neechees · 3 months ago

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Hi! Before I ask my question, I just want to say that your art is awesome! I especially love the common windmill butterfly OC you came up with. They're so cool! Did you ever decide on a name for them? I just realized that's also a question woops lol that wasn't the main question I wanted to ask. I was curious if you've ever seen the 1999 film Ravenous, and if so, what are your thoughts on it? It's a film that not so subtly almost blatantly denounces the u.s, colonization, and european christianity by comparing it to cannibalism. However, they also incorporate something that I don't think I should spell out cuz I've heard it would be disrespectful of me as a white person to mention the word so I'll just say that it starts with a "W" when written out in english. I wanted to know if, even in a context in which colonization is outright reprimanded, if it's still unintentionally engaging in oppression by adding that specific cultural element into the movie at all. I've been trying to find any indigenous film critics's thoughts on the subject but google and tumblr's search functions are total garbage and I've also been making a point not to write the W word into any search engines cuz as I said earlier I've been told that that's not a good thing to do. But obviously, you don't have to answer any of my questions if you don't want to. I just know you sometimes do art analysis, so I figured you might be interested in giving your thoughts on the subject. Anywho, I hope you're doing well! 🧡

For the first part of your question, tysm, and I'm so glad you like my art!! <33 I actually never named any of the fancy shawl dancers, they're less like fully fledged OC's and more like just a human representation of what a fancy shawl regalia might look like inspired by the moth and butterfly species given. many dancers might have a regalia that represents something or have common motifs/themes surrounding that thing, sometimes very personal, and sometimes just because they like that thing or think it's pretty, and seeing butterflies on fancy shawl regalia is very common, which is partially what inspired me to do the series. I'd love to see if any other people had come up with names for them though!

and as for you main question, no I have never watched that movie, and I don't think I will specifically because it includes that. I also don't know how much Native involvement there was in it. The idea of the ice cannibal representing greed comes from traditional beliefs (which may vary depending on tribe, but there's quite a bit of overlap) of multiple Algonquian Nations, so that's why it pops up in media surrounding it, I don't really think it's particularly groundbreaking or anything because that was OUR beliefs. However, I know most depictions of the ice cannibal, because most are done by Moniyaws, are inaccurate. Generally most beliefs regarding the ice cannibal tend to agree that one shouldn't show it at all, except under specific circumstances and by certain people. You might get differing opinions on whether White depictions on the ice cannibal is contributing DIRECTLY to Native oppression specifically, but in the very least it's disrespectful and maybe a microagression (depends on the content, though). I wish people would STOP doing it, but for the moment I don't know that much can be done about the already released media regarding it.

But even with Native led depictions, let me give you a couple of examples: There was like this live play of a Native retelling take of Macbeth put together by a small group of people that featured the ice cannibal, and they went around various reserves showing this play, and they came to my reserve. My sister was there, and she said whenever it (the ice cannibal) came onto stage, multiple people, which included most of those in the audience, screamed and ran out of the room, only returning when the character was off stage. So that should give you an idea of how many Cree people feel about even fictional depictions of the monster lol.

As another example, there's this Native artist who's work you might have seen at some point, named Norval Morrisseau (he's almost like the Native American Michelangelo of Woodland Art, and he's described as "the Picasso of the North", that's how legendary he is), and while he's still very very famous, of course he's most well known by Native people. He did a painting of the Ice Cannibal, and it was very controversial among Natives when it was done and displayed. Many people believed he shouldn't have painted it at all. So even though the monster and his art was a bit more obscure at the time he painted it, this was still highly controversial.

So even when it's coming from a Native perspective, any representation of the ice cannibal will be controversial and subject to differing opinions, which might vary depending on their specific beliefs. If it's THIS controversial when NATIVES do it, imagine how much worse it is if it's a White depiction with bastardization (not that we necessarily want an accurate depiction, either). I can't offer a review on the film since I've never watched it and likely won't, but if another Algonquian has, feel free to share your thoughts!

#I even waited to answer this bc i got this ask last night and I was scared LMFAO #ice cannibal tw #ice cannibal mention #i deeply appreciate you censoring the word thank you #anonymous

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katamaricule · 4 months ago

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Ha, sorry to burst into your ask box from nowhere, but I saw your explainer post for DMBJ come across my dash (very helpful!), and I was wondering something random. A year ago I watched the movie The Mystic Nine: Qing Shan Hai Tang because it had Zhu Zanjin in it, but I did not have access to a version with subtitles, hence it was very confusing for many reasons (Zhu Zanjin was still great though lol). I was wondering where this movie fits in with the other parts of the series if you know? I see DMBJ around a lot and I am curious!

I can answer this one!

But before I do: There are subtitles now! iQiyi has the whole thing, so if you'd like to watch that beautiful man be a beautiful opera singer again, well, now you can do so while being less confused. Well, okay, slightly less confused. I'll get to that in a minute.

Back to your question: The movie is set several years before the Mystic Nine drama/book story begins. It's the tale of how Zhang Qishan and Er Yuehong (that would be Zhu Zanjin) met, as by the time the Mystic Nine itself starts, they're clearly old friends. If you've watched this movie, you have seen about the earliest filmed thing in the DMBJ timeline (flashbacks notwithstanding).

However.

The Mystic Nine: Qing Shan Hai Tang is an original story that does not use specific content from the novels for its source material. As such, it both makes several claims that contradict the main series and introduces a lot of backstory elements that no one ever mentions again. It simultaneously expects you are already familiar with these characters and assumes you know nothing so it can just tell you random shit with impunity.

This, by the way, is not unique to this movie. All DMBJ installments are done by different production teams, and all of them have to make up stuff to fill in various gaps/satisfy content standards for Chinese television. Therefore, every series and related movie will have some amount of its content directly contradicted by at least one other series or related movie. It's not like you picked some uniquely terrible starting point that will ruin you for everything else. They're all uniquely terrible, each in their own way. That's the DMBJ promise!

I return to my theory that the best way to understand every DMBJ installment and its various, uh, unique claims about the canon is to regard every story as being told by a different semi-unreliable narrator. So maybe it helps if you think of this movie as Fo Ye doing a double-take, like, sorry, did you just say there was a magical tattooed assassin? and eternal drama queen Er Ye going, shh, handsome, I'm narrating our meet-cute my way.

#i made this #m9 #silly tomb boys meta

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 10 months ago

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youtube

So, I saw all the posts about the promos for this thing coming from the John Oliver side of Tumblr, and I wasn't really planning to watch it despite my general interest in John Oliver, because I just don't understand the appeal of watching people eat and/or make and/or talk about food. I've said before that I couldn't get into Off Menu, or something like Bake Off, because of triggers I have from my years of cutting weight for sports, which is true but doesn't even really apply in this case. One 30-minute video of eating wings isn't going to trigger me (I do eat and talk about food without a problem, it's just doing long deep dives into that bothers me). It's just not interesting to me. John Robins and Elis James have started this feature on their radio show called Tick of a Taste where they try something unusual (and usually challenging, in similar ways to hot wings) and then describe it, and it's the only part of their radio show where I kind of tune out. I just don't get the appeal of turning food into entertainment.

So I was going to give this one a miss, but then it actually aired and @lastweeksshirttonight alerted me to the fact that there's a bit of Edinburgh chat, and obviously I cannot skip potential Chocolate Milk Gang content. So I watched it, and was not disappointed.I don't know who that interviewer is, and I did not expect to like him, given that he's an American man who makes, I assume, a whole series based on filming celebrities eating spicy food. I'm vaguely aware of that sort of "content creator" genre of YouTube, and it doesn't sound like fun. But I have to admit, he conducted a surprisingly great interview for a man sitting across from some hot sauce bottles. Asked good questions, they were insightful and interesting and displayed an impressive level of knowledge about his subject.

At this point, I'd like to take a brief moment to use this video as an excuse to slag off Marc Maron:

Marc Maron interviewed John Oliver in 2012, an episode that I listened to because John was fascinating in it but Marc was absolutely insufferable, as he's been in all the WTF episodes I've heard (which I believe is four: John Oliver, Andy Zaltzman, Stewart Lee, and James Acaster). And this is far from the main reason why Marc was insufferable, in fact it was a tiny thing that didn't matter, but Marc was so weird about the differences between British and American English. He kept stopping John to ask for the definition of British words that might not be common in North America, but should be more than easy enough to work out from context, and Marc couldn't just do that, he had to stop and treat it like some weird exotic thing that John said the word "headteacher". At one point in the interview, John is talking about the place where he plays a game that some call football and others call soccer, and you can hear him say "the p-field". Clearly started to say "pitch" and then realized that this annoying interviewer would pick him up on that so he changed it to field. That's what I thought of when I saw the above video clip - a fun example of the opposite of that. Well done to the hot wings interviewer for not being like Marc Maron.

The hot wings interviewer still pronounces Edinburgh about as badly as Marc Maron does, but I'm starting to think I should be a bit careful about complaining when Americans do that, because I'm not 100% sure that I say it correctly. I know how it's supposed to sound, so I can tell when someone says it wrong. But I think it might just be a hard word to say in a North American accent, so it's possible that I also mess it up, and six months from now I'm going to be in Edinburgh and probably at some point saying that word out loud to people who will know how it's meant to be said, so I might want to start saying now that it's fine if you do it wrong. I don't do it as wrong as that guy does, though. I'm pretty sure the word "bro" doesn't come into it when I say it. I also say it better than Marc Maron does.

Anyway, that is not the main point of this post, the main point of this post is this:

How the fuck have I never heard that story before? This is my exact period of specialty - John Oliver in his Chocolate Milk Gang years - and I have gathered up all the references to it that I can possibly find, and yet I'd never heard him tell that one before. I'm so glad I watched the weird hot wings video, just for that. I wish he'd tell us who the other comedian was. I have several guesses.

You know, I hadn't really thought before about the fact that John Oliver would have done his own material at those Late 'n' Live gigs. I knew he ran around taking cows apart, and I knew other people did their actual sets, but I hadn't thought of the fact that at some point John would have been on stage by himself telling John Oliver jokes. I don't think the stage where they took the cow apart was really the place for early 00s-era John Oliver jokes. I'm not surprised it went badly.

John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman do have a long list of stories of gigs they've done that have gone very badly (one gig in particular, the stories of which I made into a compilation nearly two years ago now), and I know all comedians have stories like that, but it doesn't surprise me that Zoliver have more than most. 00s-era Zaltzman and Oliver, individually and together, were not club comedians. Or at least, they didn't have club material, but they were not yet quite famous enough to never do clubs. London has a much larger and more diverse comedy scene than we do around where I live, but still, I think I can use my local comedy club as some kind of basis for comparison. And if someone stood up at my local comedy club and started telling Zaltzman and Oliver jokes, they would be met with baffled silence at the absolute best. They might get stabbed.

What jokes was he telling at Late 'n' Live? Was he doing his Political Animal material? He had a bunch of political and topical stuff back then, but that's not all he did. John Oliver definitely had more mainstream material in his arsenal than Andy Zaltzman did, I guess he could have brought out his train story and the one about not eating peas as a kid. Though actually, even the peas story is basically a political joke. Was he doing the stuff about crying at sporting montages as early as that?

Actual recordings of the stand-up John Oliver did in Britain are rare, though I've managed to find a few. Most notably the one of him and Zaltzman doing their full 2004 Edinburgh show, in 2005, that got released on The Bugle in multiple pieces but I stitched them together into one file, and… I mean, you can't do that at Late 'n' Live. I know I haven't been there, but if you could do that at early 00s Late 'n' Live, then I have drastically misunderstood the nature of the event. You can't do that. You'll get stabbed.

The other source of information about early Oliver stand-up is reviews, which are worth reading because they're often quite funny. @lastweeksshirttonight, I can't remember if I've ever sent you the Steve Bennett review of his debut Edinburgh show, but I'm tagging you because if you haven't read it before then you definitely should. It's hilarious. I don't always agree with Steve Bennett's opinions or approach to the mechanics of the English language, but I have to admit: "John Oliver has based his debut Edinburgh show on death, a concept he can be no stranger to, given the lukewarm reception his obscure observations receive," is a sick burn.

Was John doing that at Late 'n' Live? You definitely can't do what was described in that review at Late 'n' Live. You probably shouldn't do that anywhere, really.

There are better reviews from the next few years, like these ones, which both basically boil down to: Zaltzman and Oliver are intelligent guys who write well and it's all very clever and even at times funny, but God, they're both really annoying. So annoying. It was funny but I didn't like them because they were annoying. Did he annoy the people at Late 'n' Live that way? Is that why the man wanted to stab him?

Steve seemed to like them better in 2005, but still, I don't think you can do that at Late 'n' Live. "Oliver and Zaltzman are at the vanguard of a new wave of satire taking vast global issues - fair trade, the apathy paralysing democracy, immigration - and trying to simplify them to expose their flaws, which suddenly seem so blindingly obvious when put in such clear terms." Yeah, John, obviously the guy threatened to stab you if you tried to do that to him when he was drunk at 1 AM. Obviously.

What did you do to them, John? And while we're at it, what did you do to the people of York that one time?

Anyway, the whole Hot Ones interview was pretty interesting, they touched a few times on that side of John Oliver that I find particularly enjoyable, as he discusses the way he really enjoys tension and doing fucked up things and getting in trouble, but also has a socio-political worldview that says venerating that stuff is bad, and this creates its own tension. It's something I've heard him talk about before, I've always enjoyed it, I wasn't expecting to hear it explored so much in a hot wings interview, but here we are. Thanks for the recommendations, John Oliver side of Tumblr.

#Youtube

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nottawriter · 11 months ago

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20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks to @casualsavant for the tag.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? Supercorp brainrot… I see a picture or meme or video, I watch a movie or read a synopsis, I hear a song and it reminds me of them. They are ever present in my mind. I cannot escape (nor do I want to) and therefore, you cannot escape :chaos laugh:

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? There are sooo many super talented people in the Supercorp fandom. I’m constantly impressed and overwhelmed with the volume of amazing content. There are the fandom favs: @lostariels, @jazzfordshire, @searidings, @lynnearlington, @coffeeshib, @mycatismyeditor, @lgbtimelords and @melui-the-bookworm, and there are personal favs: @snowydragonscave, @fazedlight, @casualsavant, @luthordamnvers, @gveret-fic, @briefunknowntrash, @cantdrawshaw, @karalovesallthegirls, @vox-ex, Veritas33 (AO3), @writershapeholeonthedoor… Sooo much talent. I just want to read all the time!

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? I love all the side characters. I think the relationships in Supergirl are what make Kara and Lena so great and relatable. After Kara and Lena, I think I’m most comfortable writing Alex, but I enjoy writing almost everyone. My WHBL series is an ensemble-cast style story that is primarily Lena pov, but has other povs throughout.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? I’m not a fan of writing Kara or Lena outside of Supercorp unless in reference to their past relationships. I’m not sure if I would rule any specific trope out completely

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed? Sav’s answer for this one is pretty relatable lol but uh… I typically put notes in my phone if I don’t have paper/pen handy. I use Excel to plot out timelines and chapters. I like to use color to show what I still need to write versus what’s done or what’s uncertain. I use a simple Word doc and typically write in story order, though if I write a scene I like, but don’t like it’s placement, I’ll cut it out and save it separately for potentially using later or in a different fic. I struggle with writer’s block, anxiety, guilty, sooo much uncertainty. It’s stressful and sometimes overwhelming… But I’m still here, so I suppose getting the story out into the world is all worth it in the end.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? I enjoy the research, having something completed and ready to post (if not the anxiety of actually posting), and I enjoy reading the comments

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Um, probably sniper rifle stuff

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? I catch myself switching tense all the time. I try to catch it all in editing, but don’t always succeed.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Pretty much all of Evermore because it’s Kara’s dreamscape with mixed references to Wizard of Oz and Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven combined with The Adjudicator’s last scene. I think it actually came out well, but it’s really different and specific, so it’s gotten low interaction.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? 100%

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? I would be in awe to meet Kara or Lena. They’re iconic and these huge symbols for so many feelings and thoughts I’ve tried to convey, but they’re also very relatable characters who’ve suffered through much. I hope I do them justice with my writing. I know others do it so much better... I would also love to meet Melissa or Katie. I hope they know how many lives they've impacted for the better.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Originally, I wrote a lot of mental health themes and hurt/comfort, currently it’s fluff and smut or rom-com. I guess it depends a lot on what emotional headspace I’m in and capable of conveying. Almost always there’s some angst, but I gotta have a happy ending. Whether I’m reading or writing. A happy ending always.

13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Talking with other writers! I’ve been so thankful to meet so many great ones this year <3

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? I do many rereads, before and after I post. I will go back and reread before I add more to a story as well, esp if it’s been a while since I wrote for it. I’ve also gotten someone else to read over fics from time to time.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? All of that gives me anxiety lol

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try really hard not to define “success” when it comes to my writing. You never know what other people are going to like or connect with. First and foremost, I write for me. Secondly, I write for the enjoyment of others. I like to see kudos, but ultimately it’s the comments that are most encouraging. Seeing even just 1 person connect with a story that I wrote… there’s no feeling like that.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don’t, but there are songs or artists I associate with the characters, esp Supercorp- Taylor Swift, Hozier, Lord Huron… Not the question, but there’s a video edit by @talconnect with Running with the Wolves that fits perfectly for Kara. https://twitter.com/TalArtM/status/1658567350046674967 I love it.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? I recently commissioned a piece for one scene in I Believe in a Thing Called Love and there are a couple of other scenes in that one that I would have done. Really, I would appreciate any scene though. It would be an honor to have someone chose one of my works for something like that and I would be stoked to see any of it.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have? Active WIPs: 4 (What Has Been Lost, Wouldn’t It Be Nice, I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and Tis the Damn Season); Mayhem WIP idea to be started soon. A few others always percolating

20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? I had no idea what I was doing or that I even wanted to write when I started. You can’t improve until you try. You can’t learn until you make mistakes. Just try. I’ll keep Sav’s advice as well: Write for yourself. Write what you’d want to see. You’ll get better at it over time.

My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notta_Writer/works Tagging but no pressure: @itsalliebitheway @jetgirl1832 @flyingpotstickers @sneezewizard

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic

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radiocity · 6 months ago

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honestly, what's your take on the l word? atp i can't tell if it's just shit but i'm too far along to stop. the 5th and 6th seasons seem to be done in a complete different tone too and there's so many problematic aspects just slapped in for unecessary drama. still.. i like the main characters a lot and it is representation at the end of the day. Maybe it would've been cooler if they just did more of a 'slice of life' thing instead of 'drama rama cheating on people is like a slip of the hand thing due to the strong nuclear force'

anyway interested in your take, what do you think are the well- and badly- handled aspects of the show, how do you reflect on the story and character building?

stay cool out there (◕‿◕)♡

MY TAKE ON THE L WORD? getting this ask made me so excited you have no idea how much I love talking about the l word. So excited in fact that I wrote 6165 words about it, sorry, I am so severely unemployed right now. here, I talk about my thoughts, some theory, and then break down some of the intrinsic problems with the show, specifically how it thinks about gender and nonconformity, race, and transgender identities, within the scaffolding of it being a show concerned with women who have relationships with other women, rather than necessarily a truth of lesbianism. i’m citing various linked sources and very loosely using an academic approach, but it’s more like a messy collage of sources than it is a fully fleshed out argument and narrative! if you want the tl;dr, I’d recommend scrolling to the final 3 paragraphs

tbh I haven’t watched it in a while but I really want to rewatch the whole thing and go back to my gif series instead of just making random sets (don’t be put off by my absence its bc I was doing my master’s degree and then I got really sick) and maybe thinking so intensely about tlw these past 3 days will inspire me into it .

I’d be really interested in hearing any thoughts on response to any of this, even though it’s not particularly well written or formulated, so feel free to drop a message/reply/response anywhere if u or anyone else is compelled to. anyway response under the cut ->

so, my opening thoughts on the l word revolve around two things: there is nothing about this show that makes it an inherently lesbian show, and that it functions as a product of its time, not in culture but in Hollywood and show running. the imagined audience of TLW isn’t necessarily the modern ‘sapphic’ audience watching things like First Kill (2022), Do Revenge (2022), or Crush (2022) which are all, generally, pointed towards a younger audience seeking things like validation and romantic projection (from what I understand, and I’ll admit I haven’t watched any of these! But I have read synopsis and seen clips, so I’ll watch soon I promise). I do think this conversation has re-emerged a little in the growing conversations about wanting sexy lesbians having sex, which is a conversation that surrounded Love Lies Bleeding (LLB, 2024) for quite a while, repeating this argument that what lesbians want isn’t romance or tension, but sex, real sex, sex on screen and sex on TV. of course, it’s a little difficult for showrunners to ‘do’ sex or sexual content without it being so brazenly for men – and here I’ll step out and say when, in this context, I discuss women being looked at and ‘male gaze’, it’s more under the original theory of laura mulvey that women are objectified by the camera as men are in control of production, and here I’ll link the article (it’s very short, but I refer largely here to section B) – and to equally appeal to women looking at women but who are, equally not free from patriarchal understandings of the ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways of being attracted to women. I feel a good example of how we saw this was the big tiktok-wide discussion about sapphic cottage-core as an equally white endeavour, a sort of softcore launching of racist white American ideals of frolicking on a plantation. For showrunners to produce sexual lesbian content now, it needs to contend with who will be doing its marketing for them, i.e. a lot of people on tiktok talking about how LLB is for the ‘lesbian gaze’, whatever that means, or that these things are perhaps attractive to men in general, but are specifically geared to being attractive to lesbians specifically. Actually candace Moore, in a really brilliant article (and if u want access and don’t have it… just let me know) describes, through gaze theory, the notion of the straight viewer as a “tourist” and the “traveller”. Here:

Problematizing a distinction between the tourist, who "gladly or unknowingly accepts Disneyland's versions of the world's wonders," and the traveler, who "seeks and knows how to recognize authenticity," Strain argues that perhaps these archetypes are, if not one and the same, both victims to the notion that there is an "authenticity" available to be misrecognized, or grasped, in the first place. (10) But what of the lesbian viewer? (11) At first glance it would seem that the lesbian viewer falls outside of the already-tenuous tourist and traveler distinction, being a "local" intimately familiar with this culture. However, insofar as lesbian spectators are consuming mediated images of themselves, I argue that not only do straight audiences engage in a form of tourism when viewing the The L Word, but lesbian audiences, even those from Southern California, do too. The distinction between the tourist, the traveler, and, in this case, the local-as-consumer becomes blurred. Locals drawn to the latest "lesbian attraction," lesbians enjoy The L Word's eye candy along with straight "tourists." Like straight "travelers," they seek to identify albeit illusory "authentic" elements of the representation. However, for the queer viewer, the mediated reality of the show will never match up to reality. While the tourist and the traveler of The L Word are at base one and the same, the distinction between them lies not in what they are, but what they think they are; how they conceive of their own intentions, levels of "expertise," relationships to the local culture, and the "gains" that they take away--whether they travel for pleasure or for knowledge. It is through the enticement of lesbian sex (a spectacle of attraction for straight and queer viewers alike) and through the wonderment of either "understanding" the other or "recognizing" oneself (fantasy of authenticity), through both "watching from a remove" and "being there," that The L Word captivates its straight and queer tourists.

Pulling away from the academic angle, I don’t agree with the idea of LLB being for a lesbian gaze, nor do I think that TLW was ‘for’ lesbians more than it was ‘enjoyed’ by lesbians – a show that can hit as many audiences at once is a good thing. dennis cass for the slade in 2004 wrote that the L word “often feels like it’s not about being gay at all” and that a lot of what the show presents is pretty removed from any lesbian experience as we know it, additionally writing on bette and tina’s marriage counselling that they “aren’t merely in couples therapy, they’re seeing one of L.A.’s hottest personal gurus—that you not only forget they’re lesbians, but that they live on Earth.” A pretty accurate read for how removed a lot of TLW is from anything, and, to me, sort of bypasses any notion of ‘representation’ by just how fantastical it is. ginia bellafante also wrote in 2009, after s6 aired, that “’The L Word’ is a Sapphic Playboy fantasia in which women with wrinkles or squishy thighs or an aversion to lingerie appear to have been flagged down on the freeway with urgent instructions to move to Seattle”. basically, yeah

TLW itself is very clearly appealing to its heterosexual audiences at the same time it appeals to lesbians, even through the same mechanisms – the character’s conventional attractiveness, their skinniness, their lack of bras and how you can 9/10 times see their nipples through their shirts, and all the lesbian sex shown in as much detail as they could get away with – and that is the core driving force of the show in a lot of ways. we can’t really have another TLW today for the same reasons that all media from the early 2000s has shifted to give women more complex characters, arcs, appearances, and functions – and that’s a good thing, obviously – which in turn demonstrates the lack of these things the characters in TLW actually had. At its core, it’s sexy and men are the people behind the companies getting it on TV, not necessarily specific men but the shadow of patriarchy and how women exist on the screen. This isn’t to say media creation and output has become a liberal utopia for women’s rights, but rather there has definitely been a shift in how women exist on screen and what roles they were given before – think easy fast and furious, or megan fox in transformers, or even how very popular musicians styled themselves and appeared to the massive; Shakira, Jennifer lopez, Britney spears, etc – which, to me, reflects a way in which TLW capitalises off the straight heteropatriarchy in its desire to show sexy women at all times, always available to be ogled. in a way, this sorta aligns with bellafante’s observation that the show had ‘never aligned itself with the traditionalist ambitions of a large faction of the gay rights movement’ (written in 2009, 6 years before gay marriage was legalised in the us) – the liberator in the l word is sex, and that’s what all the characters are constantly aiming for, nothing else. Similarly, the show gets so obsessed with defining who or what a lesbian is (throughout the whole of s1 as they look for signs of lesbianism in jenny, with jenny at that party, or with dana talking about her ‘gaydar’, and so by doing this it turns lesbianism into a visual brand, something that be hidden in plain sight, appeasing both the hetrosexual viewer and the lesbian seeker - Martina Ladendorf describes a branding of lesbian identities through TLW in a form of “thingification”, and so “the representations of lesbian identities are discursively displaced and the identity position “lesbian” is partially filled with new meanings in the televised text of The L-word.” Ladendorf offers a far more generous reading than I do – to me, a lot of TLW needs to extrapolate lesbians from their womanhood and vice versa, creating a sort of woman who is a lesbian, rather than, simply, a lesbian

naturally, the l word is inherently a misogynist show , and in a lot of ways I think it’s unavoidable to think about when it comes to discussing schematics or opinions of the show, it’s a show full of, in the words of liz feldman in this interview, ‘beautiful lesbians with just nothing but time on their hands… and just somehow also money’. Obviously, the stereotypes the show puts forwards make it feel pretty cheap at time, and when the show ventures out into attempting to either tackle or just include plotlines about poverty, racism, transphobia, infidelity, (or plotlines it totally avoids, like conversations on butchness, gender non-conformity, or transfemininity), it honestly just gets stranger and stranger, not to mention the very active racism present in the show, via how pam grier’s character was written, handled, and expanded upon when she was by far one of the most skilled and seasoned actors on the show. a lot of issues I and other people have are through this lens, and hence why a lot of the pushback focuses on how little was understood about trans people in mainstream media back then, or how the show was just such a landmark moment that it was purely reflective of the times so it’s just nit-picking to be pointing out all its negative parts, which isn’t a sentiment I agree with at all, and instead I think of the l word as being both progressive and problematic for these reasons. Even as an addition, I feel like TLW is why we just don’t really need more tv shows like the L word… because we have the L word, and it’d be nice if we could have something different

so, when I talk about and recommend the l word I usually put it in these terms: season 1 is a phenomenal piece of storytelling and such a compelling way to create and introduce a show all about lesbianism to a world that is not filled with parallel lesbians, but rather is the only show on air in the world doing that exactly, and, following that, season 4 gets a little art deco and experimental as it pushes its characters through new, meaningful struggle, like tasha working in the military under ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ (fuck the army though), max living his new reality as a trans man (yeah it was dealt with horribly), bette dating jodi and this inviting so much conversation about art, disability, and deafness into the mix, and, in other ways, jenny and tina working together on her show, helena’s… gambling addiction or whatever, kit’s nonsense relationship shane’s nonsensical relationship. Imo these two seasons show the best of what the L word has to offer, which is, in S1, a sensitive introduction that pushes jenny through the wringer as she really becomes herself and takes hold of her destiny, and then in S4, these characters all essentially performing at their apex, in love, making mistakes, trying again, to the best of the l word’s ability to show any of this (relatively speaking, it’s the best TLW ever gets)

with all this in mind, I do think the show thrives in really profound ways at times. The real hook of it is, and always has been, season 1, which is just this ferociously strong exploration in television about such a serious sensitive topic, jenny’s coming out. a lot of criticism sort of facetiously responds to jenny’s character by focusing on her writing quality (which I honestly thought was fine lol!), and will ignore sincerely engaging with her in favour of laughing at how bad her character became as the writer’s lost the plot more and more, but I really do think that jenny in the first two seasons was just phenomenal, and mia kirshner’s fantastic meditative performance just stole the entire show for me. In season 1 as we are introduced to the show and their world through jenny’s process of coming out and ripping her life apart at the seams to live her ideal life (even if it was very explosive with marina and didn’t end well), which I just thought was such captivating writing about that moment of choice, where a character has to decide whether or not they’ll live their easy life or do the difficult thing. one of the scenes I have always come back to is in s1 where jenny has sex with tim and cries afterwards because that moment for her is the one where she realises she just can’t do it anymore, and seeing that in the show was just really otherworldly for me, I loved it and I thought it was amazing, and then later on in season 2 where jenny asks shane to cut her hair for her – a real splitting off from her regular, comfortable life, to ‘become’ a lesbian in heart and soul, was again just another moment where the writing and directing teams could really show some muscle in just how good the show could be, before dropping all presences and going back to whatever drivel they’d been doing. As a more technical note on the show, the inconsistent directors and writing is really hilarious, and sometimes the drop in quality between episodes is… staggering, to say the least

tbh s1 functions well as a drama-comedy mix because those scenes, as well as tina and bette’s fertility journey, is spliced within the rest of the nonsense going on, which I felt crafted this really enjoyable diametric swing throughout . arguably more than anything, jenny’s coming out was the best and most meaningful part of the show, and I really haven’t seen much other lesbian media hold a candle to it (though I could name a few). What they did with jenny as the show went on was disappointing to say the least, but s2 had a lot of heart in it as they attempted to have her coming to terms with her abuse (naturally, having finally discovered herself in s1) and focus more on what makes her happy – her writing. As the show continued to develop and jenny’s character just morphed into this unrecognisable thing, I even still think mia kirshner could perform such a charming take on it that I never really aligned myself to a lot of the jenny hate people joke about

other drama aspects in mind, like bette and tina’s marriage falling apart, bette’s other relationships (bette always seems to be the one facing the ‘serious problems), and even dana’s cancer and subsequent death, I thought were generally handled… ‘well’. Dana’s cancer worked interestingly within this as, while it was kind of bizarre, I think the relationship between alice and dana was a real life force on the show for a while, and that whole situation meant that alice could go through some real, meaningful growth in her character which she’d been a little starved of to that point. perhaps my thoughts are that when the show focuses on cheating as the only method of things falling apart, that’s when it really starts to fumble, because cheating at that level is such a sitcom-only esque plotline that removes a lot of reality you might be looking for and finding charming in these shows. Equally, I just think cheating can be quite an alienating plotline!

But, to talk about writing alone, my god it gets shit. Various parts of the writing I remember disliking off the top of my head are dana’s season 2 girlfriend which turns into a weird trope of the pretty girls vs the ‘uglier’ one (her then-gf), when the max arc is in full swing (though I’ll be clear as well and say I loved Daniel Sea’s acting within the role, however bad the writing was), papi and the racism that guided the writers in constructing her character, the random plotline of the guy living with shane and jenny in season 2 (though I thought it could have been really interesting, almost a meta comment on men watching lesbians, men watching the l word, men watching lesbians in media). Helena’s entire character was a little baffling to me, and while I did enjoy her at times and thought she was a hilarious addition to the cast, I just had no clue exactly what she was doing. Parts of the shows ideology itself is equally harmful, like alice and dana shopping for strap-ons (bc alice is bisexual and therefore loves penetrative sex, and dana is a lesbian and therefore doesn’t), or just that the shows ensemble cast reflects the background, and everyone is cis white thin feminine, etc. until they’re not, like ivan or papi, or Dylan..? (or a character’s non-whiteness function as a sort of ethnic flair to them, say papi and carmen being Latina and that being their exciting ‘exotic’ traits), that floods the show with a very recognisable sort of white Hollywood liberalism, and if we can understand and comprehend that, we get a good working frame for the rest of what’s going on. as alice and tasha were arguing about the military it was, of course, them trying to suggest that alice is this very liberal character who disagrees with the war and tasha’s politics, but not enough to…. Break things off with her. Instead (fashion tumblr user steps in) she even joins in this roleplay and dresses more femininely around her, growing out her hair a little and everything – and alice in general usually had a pretty fluid sense of style, so it was an… interesting choice. And then Jamie shows up for some reason (and is similarly one of the very few reoccurring Asian characters on the show – her, Catherine (one of helena’s stupid love interests) and adele (who is not serious); actually to make a side note on how this show was received, there was even a petition to get the character’s from alice wu’s Saving Face (which is a brilliant movie, and you should watch it) to be on the show and bring more Asian representation, from autumn 2008)

One episode I think is pretty good for reading the ethos of how TLW engages with women who aren’t their ‘ideals’ is shown is, imo, episode 3? 4? of season 1, where lacey is harassing shane for moving on from her. Lacey is one of the very few characters who leans a little more into being gender nonconforming, yes still with the full face of makeup, but with heavy punk-ish eye makeup, short hair, leather jacket, a demanding attitude, (and she’s not fat, but definietely has more weight on her than any of the verrrrry skinny main cast), and all-in-all embodies a kind of paltry attempt at TLW at bringing in someone with more of an edge, perhaps a modern day masc we might imagine – she’s really one of the only women I can think of on the show, let alone women that shane gets with, who isn’t an ultra-feminine character with long hair, tall, skinny, petite frame, etc. devoid of reality, the show really pushes on her as this over-demanding woman who reactedly badly to shane using her and moving on, and of course the show is trying to show us that shane uses people without much care for them, but doing so through lacey lets you sympathise more with shane than it would if they’d brought in a far more feminine woman who could play that damsel in distress role through looks alone. Lacey’s problems are like a pet or a child’s wherein you do what they want (in this case, another 1 night stand) to appease them, and then you get them off your back. The writing itself is very bizarre, but the fact that they used a woman who was just a little left of centre from the standard the show had set of these beautiful women in Hollywood, demonstrates enough

likewise, to go from here and talk about gender non-conformity, one of the strangest lines on the show was always kit in season 3 episode 9 saying “It just saddens me to see so many of our strong butch girls giving up their womanhood to be a man” – why she said that, I don’t know, some sort of meditation on her bizarre relationship with ivan perhaps? But that relationship fell apart because ivan was… not a man… and couldn’t be a man… whereas max is a man and could be a man, so I just don’t know.

Kit: Why can't you be the butchest butch in the world... and keep your body? Max: Because I wanna feel whole.

and he is so punished for that split away from butchness into transness, even by the woman who is notably placed outside of the lesbianism of the show – which is arguably worse than having one of the lesbians come at him for it, as kit is more or less representative of “the rest of the world” in these types of conversations, pushing max away from transition while the lesbians of the show, the ones who, you would imagine, have had some sort of intersection with transness once before (again, notably shane, who, as part of her traumatic backstory, was mistaken for a boy when she was a teenager and was paid by men to give them a handjobs) . instead the show curiously places kit there as some voice of reason, and the rest of the lesbian cast are kind of fast and loose with the whole thing. when they do talk about butchness in s3e3, it’s just bizarre. Pre-transition max pulls shane with him to unpack the car as “us butches”, and carmen giggles and jokingly calls shane a “big butch” even though, again, she’s the closest thing the show gets to reoccurring butchism, and is likely seen and imagined as butch by a lot of the people watching . at dinner later on in the episode, they make a joke about him not being “stone butch”… as if that’s a way of measuring masculinity rather than a sexual identity, before shane interrupts the conversation to say “You know what, what difference does it make whether someone is butch or femme?”. again, she is the butchest one at the table, and very notable not butch, but has gone up so close to the border before, you really wonder… why. Why there is such intense resolution to not make her butch, but really it’s because TLW functions in the absence of the butch – alice eler puts it succinctly: “The L-Word asserts that a “femme” lesbian woman is more desirable than a “butch” lesbian.”

In tlw, butch and femme are always roles played rather than realities lived, so it defaults to femininity being ‘standard’ - and this is where, imo, a lot of reaction to max’s transition hinges on. If the show can’t allow any character to firmly be ‘butch’, so when a character takes on butchness as a passage to realising his truth, that he is a trans man, it pulls out all the ugly thoughts and feelings held by certain lesbians about trans men who were, previously, identifying as lesbians/butch lesbians. Here, it really creates a perfect storm for TLW to uphold dangerous ideology (how they showed max’s transition was horrible), and justifying their cis lesbian audience’s response (they got angry that the only character who transgressed gender went ‘too far’ with it, essentially, living his truth in a way they didn’t like). I imagine, if TLW had functioning butch characters on the show, this all might’ve played out differently, but if TLW let go of its standard of femininity, then it… isn’t sexy, becoming too lesbian and too trans and alienates its non-lesbian audience, getting too deeply invested in its lesbianism than it is with its glamour. An interview with Ilene chiaken that gets thrown around a lot is here: on max, “She’s our first real butch on the show — a fabulously attractive butch, but nonetheless a real butch,” Chaiken said. “And we deal with the issue of gender. We wanted to tell that story, a big story in the gay community and, in the last couple years, a huge story in the lesbian community.” it’s an interesting statement for sure– gender transgression has always been a part of lesbianism (read any book ever), and with the advent of the internet and online communities – afterellen being founded in 2002 – more conversations could be had by lesbians from all walks of life, from any economic background or lived reality of race, ability, anything. jack halberstam writes interestingly in Transgender Butch about butch/ftm borders that,

The distinction that some butches need to make between lesbianism and butchness hinges on a distinction between sexual and gender identities. Lesbian, obviously, refers to sexual preference and to some version of the “woman-loving woman.” Butch, on the other hand, bears a complex relation of disidentification with femininity and femaleness and, in terms of sexual orientation, could refer to “woman-loving butch” or “butch-loving butch.

butchness, and max’s ex-butchness, is never truly interacted or responded to in the show – ivan states he doesn’t mind being referred to as a he, shane half-heartedly defends butchism by asking her friends to stop talking about it, and max finds himself as a man through a meaningful identification with butchism and ‘disidentification’ with femininity to then finding a reidentification with not just masculinity, but manhood, which lends way to him truly discovering himself. Curiously, in response to this, this reidentification is one step too far, and suddenly its actually ok to be butch on the l word. The rest of the cast seems to ask him over and over again, why by a man? Why not be butch? But in the world of TLW, to be butch and to be trans are both radical acts of nonconformity, to disidentify is to no longer be the thing that sells, so you very fundamentally cannot do any of it – lisa the male lesbian in s1 is played for laughs as a transmisogynist punchline, and carmen giggling at the idea of shane being butch (and thus disidentifying) demonstrates that this is equally hilarious.

from this angle, i feel that TLW functions primarily as a show about women attracted to women, not lesbians attracted to lesbians (lesbian as gender, as identifier, as being). Immovable womanhood is the centre of everything, constructing familiarity, and to stray is to exit safe perimeters that TLW establishes within unradical, conformist, cisgendered white femininity. candace Moore, again, writes that TLW “positions lesbianism as a sensibility, not a sexuality. This is particularly important because as a sensibility, lesbianism can potentially be co-opted by straight viewers.”

of course, it would be remiss to fail in mentioning that much of this discussion about tlw’s association to butchness is very much within whiteness as well – we can argue that tasha is a stud even if she never says the word herself, her specific attraction being to “girly girls” and her riding a motorbike, always with a more masculine wardrobe, and being in the……. Army………. Really aligns her with this sentiment. I do think she’s a stud, but this being off the back of the show’s depiction of max sits so strangely, and we can’t ignore that her blackness is so instinctually connected to how they wrote her – in a world where no one else can be a butch, why then is the only dark skinned black lesbian more masculine leaning than the rest of them? yes, racism, and all tied in to her nationalism and dedication to the army. It’s certainly an interesting choice for the writers to make and, while she is one of my favourites in the whole show, I definitely have a lot of pause with why she was written and created the way she was, and what she offers the show politically – she holds space as a particularly vulnerable body, a dark skin black stud lesbian, but maintains the status quo of the country and of American imperialism. What’s the message? Even the most unavailable of lesbians can still be patriots??? the individual's physical unfuckable body is still acessible through american aligience?

As later seasons continued to get worse, parts I did really enjoy were tasha’s entire character, molly’s entire character, seeing tina ‘get her life back’ as it were and return to painting, jodi’s entire character, all the music featured, and bette and tina getting back together was really well written and laurel holloman and Jennifer beals are just two very strong actors steering that ship, and random moments throughout I really enjoyed (specifically bette’s professional life gave a lot of breathing room for the show to have other funny little characters, like her office assistants etc) that I’m struggling to remember here rn tbh but generally even as the show was getting bad, the more ridiculous things got the more fun I was having, but the later seasons ‘drama’ was a little painful. If it had started as a drama and then shifted into something more palatable, I think it would’ve been great, but really anything that wasn’t season 6 would have been fine.. just such an unforgiving and cruel way to end the show, and I thought adding jenny to the mix of toxic sad relationships after leaving her straight life and coming to terms with her abuse was such a mean-spirited and cruel way to end it IDK! And this is why the l word FAILS as a sitcom, bc at least usually (to my knowledge) the idea is that at the end… they’re kinda happy and stepping into another new life with some stability and lifelong friends!!! But instead TLW said fuck you and I hate you

anyway yeah closing thoughts… if you watch TLW without even thinking about representation I think it’s an easy watch, bc what I was watching it for is psycho lesbians who don’t act normally and that’s what I got. All caricatures of themselves or whatever they’re performing in the shadows of, and, in a way – and maybe this is a little weird to say – but I think the lesbians in the show are, to me, like watching a species of lesbian that I myself am not. Which is a shame because, if I recall correctly, a lot of those musical performances in the show were about exposing the world to lesbian music that broke the norm and went against the stereotype of music people associated with lesbians at the time, showing them on the cutting edge of new sound, which somehow did not cross into the actual meat of the show at all. And I haven’t spoken at all about it here, but a lot of those musical features are my favourite parts of the show and made some of those scenes just electric, magical parts of storytelling on tv

to address the “you”/I in what “I think”, and this one actually is TMI, when I first watched the L word, it was when I had really just finished coming to terms with my own lesbianism back in late 2021, early 2022 (I was gay and trans before this, but hiding from myself and my sexuality and my gender in complex ways, living a sort of double life online and offline – this was more an unforgiving reckoning with who I was vs what the life I was leading looked like). i was finally letting myself think about it holistically, reflecting on conversion therapy and how I navigated my desires and my identity. I wrote a lot of melodramatic diary entries and was trying to figure out how to handle a 3 year long semi-formed, confusing, and impressively undefined ‘situation’ship I was in with a guy while I was living alone during a gap year. all I really did in this time was go to the gym, go on walks, go to therapy, and think… a lot. by the time I started watching TLW I had come to terms with my lesbianism (and its inextricable relationship to my gender), but watching jenny go through something I had basically been in the thick of myself (just without all the sex and the cheating and the sex and the sex and the sex), and was, at that point, yet to experience the real horror of, meant a lot to me, and, just from some reading online, I’ve understood too how the early seasons of TLW really helped a lot of other lesbians come out to themselves or start thinking about where they might sit in relation to lesbianism. again, TLW fails time and time again at any sort of political radicalism, but when you’re so, so painfully alone and you don’t really have anyone to talk to about these desires, or even have the strength to talk about these things out loud, I do think somehow the unabashed desire flung around the screen of TLW does one thing, and that is to declare that lesbianism doesn’t have to be in your head, and that even good change can be really difficult when it’s something like this, and that, to me, was the best thing TLW added to the conversation about lesbian TV and reflects, for a lot of lesbians who find themselves trying to navigate repression and abuse, the experience that we’re still moving through: taking hold of our lives with our own hands

beyond that, beyond being a story about transformation – which I do think really permeates the first season (dana coming out to the world and to her parents; shane learning how to love or whatever the fuck genuinely; tina and bette trying and failing and trying to live the life they’d always dreamt of; marina navigating her own bad relationship through a sort of uncaring outwards desire; bette ‘choosing’ the wrong path from her married life and cheating; kit re-entering the world of professional music and working hard to get into that music video thing situation – I think s1 is just such a rare gem of tv, that had so many flaws in it and so much was mishandled, but it came to it all with a lot of heart. But still that same angle is what alienates it from reality and sets it up as this fantasy land of woman-who-engage-in-lesbianism and abstractifies lesbian reality to make way for lesbian (or straight) fantasies of standard hegemony with a little zest. As it goes on however, it falls so hard to the more difficult aspects already clear at its start, and dramatizes their sexual escapades and relationships endlessly in a way that gives, says, and does nothing. jill dolan describes it well, albeit more positively than I have here: “part of the fun has become to simply go with it, to enjoy its excesses of character and plot and to tolerate its rather sweetly absurd attempts at relevance and authenticity.” and you really can ‘go with it’ for a while, but to put it shortly, TLW is not a show worth following to the end of the earth

#anonymous #asks #the l word #tlw

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