#those are the eyes of someone who is killing you in 50 different ways in their mind

[rustyironskillet]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[anothermansjeans]

you know how to ball, i know aristotle

s.r x f!reader

summary: spencer's love feels so high school

warnings: none!

wc: 689 (she's short!)

a/n: inspired by so high school!! i have 50 different fics planned after listening to ttpd.......be prepared

It felt childish in a way. The way Spencer feels his cheeks flush and a chill run down his body whenever she’s near him. The constant butterflies. The shyness he feels when she's around. The high he gets from being near her. It feels like he’s a teenager in love.

Right now, the feeling remains as he watches Y/N and the rest of the team that fills the bullpen play a makeshift game of basketball with a trash bin and crumpled up paper. Whenever she makes a basket, she snaps her head over to him to see if he was looking– of course he was– and his chest fills with pride. Once her turn was over though, his head went right back down to his current read, something about Greek philosophers.

“Pretty Boy!”

His head immediately went back up at the sound of Morgan calling out to him. “Hmm?”

“We need reinforcements. Your girl is kicking our asses over here.”

A red wave flooded his neck, making its way up to his face, and he moved his chair back the tiniest bit, giving a small nod as he tried to hide his shy smile. He felt the way one would if they were asked to play kiss, marry, kill with their crush’s name thrown in there. Honestly, he’d be content if she did all three to him.

From there on, the game went terribly. While Y/N was making shot after shot, Emily was barely making it around the rim, Derek made it every other time, and Spencer was so far off it was pointless in asking him to join (but he knew the ball wasn't weighted properly, and he’d die on that hill). It didn't take long for those who were losing to become uninterested in the game, so everything eventually went back to business.

That was until Spencer felt a pair of hands gently knead into his shoulders.

Normally, he would tense up immediately. He wouldn't want to be touched– he’d be questioning why someone was touching him. But he knew it was Y/N. He’s become accustomed to her delicate touch; the smell of her lotion; the light reflecting off of the promise ring he bought her for their last anniversary. She would massage his shoulders until he was completely relaxed against her, allowing her to lean forward more and wrap her arms around his neck, placing her chin on his shoulder.

“I had a lot of fun earlier. You did well.”

He let out a giddy laugh as he craned his neck in order to look at her. The same giddy feeling a teenager gets when playing spin the bottle and truth or dare spread through his body whenever he’s this close to her, it truly never fails.

“I’m glad. I absolutely embarrassed myself with my lack of skill, but I’m glad at least someone enjoyed it.”

“Hey,” she shifted slightly so that she was directly looking at him all while keeping her chin perched on him. “You didn't embarrass yourself. We all have things we’re good at. Like, look at this.” She lazily gestured to the books scattered across his desk, “I couldn't even begin to describe what you're reading. You’re brilliant, Spence.”

“It’s called The Philosophy of Aristotle. It’s a selection of Aristotle’s works and–” he stopped himself, watching the way Y/N was completely mesmerized by what he had to say.

“Keep going. I've done my reports and I’m sure you've finished yours. We have plenty of time.” She kissed his cheek as a way to get him to start speaking again, and he felt on top of the world.

It was childish, really. The constant buzz he felt when speaking to her. The crinkles he can feel by his eyes from smiling so hard. The childlike wonder at how someone could be so perfect for him. No one’s ever had him like her. He felt as though this is what he would've felt if he had a normal childhood, one where he had a high school sweetheart. And despite it feeling so high school, he loves it. He loves her.

[kiefbowl]

this is going to sound silly but it isn't silly, and I'm seriously saying this. I do think there is a slight feminist concern to alien abduction stories in so far as we can assume that when people, especially women, talk about their abductions and their abilities to communicate with extra terrestrials et cetera, they are someone who is mentally unwell and who has likely experienced something traumatic. alien abduction stories tend to have common elements even if there are details wildly different from each individual. those details are different because they likely didn't happen, but the common elements tend to be things like being taken from home, being violated, being exposed, having things implanted in the body, experiencing pregnancy, having secret knowledge, having a special connection to the extra terrestrials...

you can start putting some pieces together. yes, sometimes these elements are shared because they are what's heard in pop culture. you're more likely to imagine the details of a book you read or a tv show you saw than come up with something so fantastically new and original. you can imagine, for example, if someone is a say a seven year old girl being manipulated into sexual favors by a trusted adult and doesn't understand what's happening to her and has seen alien media and perhaps even has other messaging around her wrt sin, purity, worthiness, karma (what have you), and also perhaps is predisposed to mental illness, it's easier to believe she's a special person being abducted by other worldly creatures who don't truly mean her harm. you can see how a vivid child's imagination could lead to an adult believing memories that never happened.

and so the feminist concern is to not treat these stories as complete jokes and hoaxes and roll our eyes. I'm just reminded today of something I saw years ago. I think it was a Penn and Teller Bullshit episode on aliens, and they had a group of hard core believers talking about their experiences with aliens, and it felt like we were supposed to be laughing at them when at least one of them was a woman who truly believed an alien husband took her way sometimes and forced her to give birth and she had several children she didn't get to see in space, and she was clearly not very well adjusted socially. all I could think was is this a woman who's been raped? is this a woman who has been forced to have abortions? is this a woman who has had multiple miscarriages? is this a woman experiencing domestic abuse from a husband or boyfriend? but the episode wasn't interested in exploring that, and she stuck out as "one of these things is not like the others" when juxtaposed to fake professors trying to sell their weirdo books as a living or whatever else was in the episode.

when we say believe women, that includes "crazy" women. women who say ghosts are trying to kill them, who talk about people living in their walls coming out at night to steal their body parts, women who believe they are married to alien overlords since they were 12 and have birth 50 alien babies. these women are probably telling us something and I think we can say "I believe something has happened to you" rather than make a mockery of them.

[formulapookie]

💛💛

Under the cut to read on Tumblr, here to read on Ao3 ch1; ch2; ch3; ch4; ch5; ch6

Les fleurs du mal ch7 rosquez, 3,2k words

The flight is not worth any kind of notice, the air inside the plane feels heavy, as if someone just put tons and tons more worth of weight on Vale’s shoulder just to keep him anchored to the floor and not let him fly away.

The hostess passes by a few times, asking if he wants anything, Vale barely acknowledges her presence, shaking his head and saying he’s ok.

It’s still half an hour to Barcelona. From there it’s less than an hour drive to Cervera.

God he’s really doing this. He’s- what the fuck is he even doing?

They won’t let him near the body, or the fucking funeral for that matter, let alone close to his grave.

But he needs to see him.

Even if it won’t be sunny, happy Marc he’ll look at, but this strange version of him.

Still in his selfishness Vale wants. He thinks he’s owed that. To see Marc. To look at what he did, because he thinks it’s a suitable way to pay for his actions.

He wants to be the one in the front row saying his last goodbye, wants to be the one carrying the casket, it should be him.

Not Lorenzo, not Dovi, not Pedrosa, not Alex.

If he could, if he only could, he would carry him into the church and from there to the graveyard all alone.

He’d cry. Beg for Marc to come back probably. But at least he’d be close.

Unbeating heart next to warm skin.

Vale doesn’t cry often, before this the last time he cried was for Marco.

God how much had he cried for him.

Uccio and his parents tried to get him out of his room for days, he refused to eat, or drink for that matter. He thought about staying locked in there until the same fate that got Sic got him too, so that they could still ride together in the clouds, like he said Marco to be doing.

Only Luca had managed to get him out, shake him from the dark and rotten place he caved himself a shelter in, and bring him back out, but it was a long and difficult task.

Marco, he. He never fully agreed to the version for which he died before. The one saying that the moment he fell and slid on the track without his helmet he was already dead.

No.

He barely agreed to the one publicly accepted, which is that Marco was there, 50/50 with a chance of never recovering and he just sped up the process.

The fact is he believed and still secretly believes to this day that he killed him. Ran him over, snapped his neck, and killed his best friend. Because maybe he would’ve survived, maybe he could’ve gotten better, maybe they’d have raced again.

For what concerns Marc there aren't even alternatives or sets of opinions about what happened, or whose fault it is, or if it could’ve ended in a different way.

He killed him.

And even if he did it unintentionally he feels like he did it on purpose. Revenge, what a sick fucking felling.

It makes you think and act in ways you didn’t think were yours.

He feels his skin itching, cutting into his muscle and he wants to tear it off, but doesn’t move in the slightest, he wants this to hurt.

Pain is a way to punish himself, though not slightly comparable to the one Marc felt, but it keeps him there, tied to reality and unable to escape the fact he hurt so many people just by being an asshole.

He thinks about the night after Sepang. It’s not a good idea.

He gets up and runs to throw up in the toilet, the alcohol and the few bites of food he’s digested are now out of his system, and he cannot think about eating anything right now.

The image of Marc standing before him, pleading and begging for a chance to be them again.

He remembers the almost-tears in the boy’s eyes, those same eyes looking at his souls trying to get a hold of it.

The image of them two makes its way in Vale’s mind.

If someone had walked in, he would’ve seen a 20 something kid getting his heart shattered, trying to pick the pieces up from the ground as Vale kicked them around, smirking with that sick fun he proved that night.

How could he treat the person who loved him the most like that? Leave him to the wolves as if it had always been like this.

Then a memory from Valencia comes up.

The one moment who revealed to him what Marc was going through.

“You like helping him uh? You sucked his dick too? Did you go to him and let him fuck you as a thank you for letting him win? Did he fuck you well Marc? I bet you enjoyed his dick so much given how you ran to me immediately after to suck me off”

“Stop it Vale please”

“Ah stop what? I’m having fun here aren’t you? Does he know how you like to be treated like the whore you are?”

Then Marc had thrown up. Those petals, horribly yellow and blue.

“I’m sorry”

But sorry doesn’t fix anything, doesn’t fix the hole in his heart shaped like a shot wound.

Sorry doesn’t bring Marc magically back and places him onto his plane, sorry doesn’t give him the chance to tell Marc he loved him still.

Sorry doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t even make him feel better. The only thing that could brighten his day is Marc’s smile.

Or a kiss from him, a hug, holding hands. An action that told Vale “I’m here, I’m here with you”

The only noise is the signal that tells him to fasten his seatbelt because they’re landing. No laugh, no “Vale you want me to hold your hand? I know you’re scared of flying���, no little yelp Marc did when they started taking off.

Vale never liked flying. Not private, not commercial. He doesn’t like lots of factors, height, pressure, danger, noise.

He hates taking off and landing most of all.

And when he’s alone he always grips the seat so fucking tight he had to replace armrests more than once. The jet company had told him he should be sure if he wants to have something so fancy he’s so scared of.

He hadn’t cared.

“Vale? Are you ok? You look a bit - a bit pale. Have you eaten? Do you want me to take you something from the bag?”

Vale shook his head, put on a reassuring smile and sat in his seat, Marc beside him smiling so much Vale though it had to hurt.

“Are you excited? For our holiday?”

Vale had gone overboard that time, something he never did for his past girlfriends, not for anyone but Marc. Marc. A shooting star that came into his life to stay.

He planned a 12 day holiday in the Philippines, just the two of them, in this apartment far from the rest of the world, where they could be just themselves without the fear of being discovered.

“I already told you amore no? Really excited, we’re gonna be in this very beautiful house surrounded by nature and near the sea for twelve days, and most importantly I get to have you all to myself for twelve days. I have already planned a few things I’d like to do once there, you know?”

Marc had blushed, looked away.

Of course he “planned” a few things as well, they were completely alone for more than a week, having sex is the most expected thing there.

And he really wants to spend at least two days straight without getting out of bed. Vale’s tension hadn’t worn down during their small chat, Marc could see how he kept on looking outside the window, and how the armrest of the seat Vale was on looked like a wild cat attacked it.

“Vale, are you nervous?” “Uh? No no I’m ok don’t worry baby” “You look strange” “No no I just am really excited about going there with you”

Marc had watched him again, until a particularly sharp noise came from the plane’s engine.

At that, Vale had shut his eyes and his mouth morphed into a thin closed line, even with his eyes closed Marc could feel the fear.

“Vale, are you scared of flying?” “No” “Amor I won’t judge you, but are you?” Vale opened his eyes, the plane was ready to take off. “Yes. I don’t like it” “Ok then uhm I can maybe hold your hand? To make you feel more secure?”

Vale also doesn’t like to ask for help, or make it obvious he needs it, but the way Marc was looking at him moved something in his chest, it made him vulnerable, but in a pleasant way. A sweet kind of it.

“Ok. Yeah yeah ok you can just-“ “Yeah I solemnly swear I will never tell Valentino Rossi wanted me to hold his hand because he’s scared of flying”

They had laughed, and Marc had brought him a kind of warmth and comfort he hadn’t felt in any other moment of his life.

Right now he’s alone. There’s an enormous emptiness beside him. An obvious lack of warmth and doe eyes looking at him with love.

Those eyes, God. How many times has he looked at them, how many times has he seen them open at the first lights of the morning in creamy white sheets they shared, how many times has he fell in love with them.

The memories are almost enough to distract him from the impending touch with the ground.

Maybe the plane will break, or crash. Save the others and leave him a carcass twisted below tons of metal sheets, unrecognizable at the sight.

Maybe this would be the right way to pay back Marc. Maybe just this could be enough. Dying of a horribly painful death, like Marc did. Alone. Cold.

The plane lands, and there’s no explosion or collision. Valentino is alive, and painfully so.

He never understood people who said they wanted to die until now. Because there’s something about thinking that it can all be over, that he can get away with it without having to face the others.

Lorenzo, Dani, Dovi.

They will be at the funeral. They will be on track. And they will know it was him.

The hostess comes up to him, tells him they’re securely landed and he can climb off the plane.

He gets up, a hoodie and a pair of du glasses on. Phone in pocket and some cash in the other.

He doesn’t need anything more, he reserved a car during the flight, it’s already there waiting for him.

He gets off the plane and in the car as fast as humanly possible, fingers tapping uncomfortably on the steering wheel, a tightening sensation in his throat.

He’s crying once again, at this point he’s surprised there’s even tears left inside him.

He stays there for ten whole minutes, then convinces himself he has to do this. He has to go.

He starts the car and gets out the airport, he doesn’t need a navigator, he knows the route by heart, him and Marc made it lots of times.

Once he’s twenty minutes away from destination he feels worse and worse about what he’s doing.

How will he even hide himself? Cervera is not a big town, and he’s not sure Marc’s family chose to have an open doors funeral.

He’s going there blindly, in the vague hope he’ll get to cast a glance at his body.

The graveyard won’t be as much of a problem, he can confuse himself with people who will want to say their goodbye. He’s sure he’ll find a way to sneak in, stay far from the family as he too mourns with them.

The town is packed, as he expected, tons of people gathered there to give their last farewell to Marc.

There’s flags,  cardboard signs, sheets, all in his honor. In the honor of the rider he was. They are mourning the icon, the sportsman he was. Not the man, the wonderful person he actually was.

And it hurts.

To them it’s an idol that died, an inspiration. To him and his family it’s a person, a brother, a son, a friend, a lover.

The square before the Church is barely noticeable, a sea of orange and red combing it whole.

Then he sees it, the side entrance Dovizioso in suing to get in. He can do it. He can get in somehow.

He squishes himself through the myriads of people waiting for Marc to come out, waiting for the men dressed in deep black to carry him out in a coffin.

But Vake knows they’ll never come out from the front door, no they’ll come out the side one, take another car with the corpse and go to the graveyard.

And he’ll find a way to follow.

He doesn’t manage to surpass the barriers tho, he has to just wait, wait until the function is over and he can follow them to the place where his love will be buried forever.

Once he notices the funeral procession, he’s the fastest he’s ever been, running back to his car and quietly following the one with Marc in it.

It feels shady, and it is, but that’s all he can do.

He parks fairly far from the spot where he knows they’ll place Marc, climbs down the car and makes the rest of the way by foot, quietly in the December freezing cold.

He’s lucky, he knows he is, he could’ve arrived too early, or too late, or be recognised and probably publicly executed.

The graveyard is gray, gloomy and unsettling. He can see Alex from this distance, and a priest reciting something.

He wants to be there.

He’s hidden behind a tree, a bit closer now, he can hear the sobs coming from the people there and the incomprehensible words said by the priest.

Alex is holding their mother, their father is just a few centimeters to the left, heavy eyes filled with tears.

Other family members gathered around the coffin crying as well.

Their colleagues stand a bit further, crying as quietly as they can, Dani especially seems broken, hiding his face in Lorenzo’s chest, while he strokes his back gently, Dovi has marks on his knuckles, red and blotchy.

He must’ve punched something at the news.

Once the person Vale supposes to be Marc’s grandmother moves out of the way he can see him.

Soft, pale and pure skin. Frozen, unable to move. Restrained in this position for eternity, It’s a sickening view, it’s unnatural for Marc to be like that.

He wants to come out of his hiding spot, under the soft and cold light of the December sun.

Walk to the coffin, say goodbye, say sorry, cry, beg for him to come back, then accept the truth.

He can’t think of leaving a flower, not with the way Marc died.

And now that he pays more attention he can see little flowers growing out of his mouth.

He’s heard of people whose ribcage got broken by roots and flowers growing out of it, and he’s glad Marc’s situation is not like that.

The unmistakably bright yellow being the only thing of his still attached to Marc.

He makes a small mistake, a little movement and Roser turns around.

He got caught.

Roser just saw him at Marc’s funeral and now he truly is doomed.

Vale begins walking away, wants to run between the graves and go back to his car. Once he’s almost out he feels a hand on his back. He stops and turns around, ready to face a blood thirsty Alex.

But he just sees Roser, eyes red and glassy.

And he feels even worse for it, feels like a fucking cancer once again. There’s hatred in her eyes, rightfully so, and anger, and so much pain. “Take the glasses off”

He doesn’t expect that, but it’s not a punch in the guts, so he takes them off. Icy blue eyes matching with the surrounding atmosphere, eyes Roser notices to be filled with so much more than she thought.

“Why are you here?”

Her English is tentative, broken, but it can transmit all her emotions well enough. Vale can’t answer, he wants to burn a hole into the ground and fucking disappear inside it.

Words are dying inside his throat, he just looks up at Marc’s mother to feel something close to that hate he has for himself.

And there is a lot of it. But there’s also - compassion?

Or at least something that is not just pure pain and anger.

“Rossi. My son loved you” “I know” “You not” “I did. I do now too. I came here to see him I - I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry”

The last part he speaks Catalan, which shocks Roser.

Valentino Rossi, the rider, the legend, the man who hurt her son so much is now crying in front of her, knees against the icy-cold soil of a graveyard, speaking her language, saying he’s sorry.

She would want to be strong enough to just leave him there. But this man is crying like a kid lost in the woods looking for someone to help him.

There’s anger in her heart, obviously, lots of it. There’s hate. But she will never not have compassion in her heart too.

The tears, the eyes, the words, they all seem genuine to her.

“estimaves el meu fill?” (did you love my son?)

“sì. no tant com es mereixia” (yes. not as much as he deserved)

“però ara ets aquí” (but you’re here now)

“ja és massa tard. ell és mort”  (now it’s too late. he’s dead)

“ell mai va deixar de pensar que hauries tornat per ell” (he never stopped thinking you would’ve come back for him)

“ho sento” (I’m sorry)

And vale just stays there, crying, but without a sound, Roser standing in front of him. And he wants her to do something, maybe call for Marc’s father, or for Alex, or the other riders.

Instead he receives pity. And a hand on his shoulder.

“Go away before they see you, if you want to speak to my boy you should go to Church, ask for forgiveness, ask for him to be well”

And then she leaves. The mother of the boy he killed leaves. Lets him go, as if he didn’t commit the most atrocious and horrible act towards Marc.

He gets up from the ground, dirt and grass staining his jeans, the cold has made its way inside his bones, under his skin, pointy, stingy. He puts the glasses back on, tears don’t stop falling when he does, the sensation of being observed doesn’t fade.

The ride back is monotone, gray, and silent. The radio doesn’t work, and if it did Vale would turn it off anyway.

He gets to a lay-by and stops, he can’t hold it anymore, he gets out the car and vomits, it's almost just bile, maybe some alcohol still, no food. The image of Marc laying like that is too much.

It accompanies him until he reaches the airport again, leaving the car where he found it, it accompanies him while he climbs on the plane and when it takes off.

It fucking follows him to the bedroom door once he's home.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 39 part one

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)    

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Fight Exposition Club

Wei Wuxian hollers into the smoke, saying things to provoke Xue Yang, in the hopes that he’ll come fight properly, so Lan Wangji can shank him. Wei Wuxian is figuring out a new way to be a battle couple with Lan Wangji. Without flinging a lot of yin energy around he can’t fight back-to-back with him like they did during the Sunshot campaign, but he can use his mastery of tactics to bring enemies into range of Lan Wangji’s sword arm.

Xue Yang repeatedly sneaks up on Wei Wuxian, rolling natural 20s on his stealth checks even when he’s in extremely plain sight. 

Come on, Wei Wuxian. Try harder. 

They trade trash talk and Wei Wuxian points his flute a lot while Xue Yang tilts his head a lot. 

(More after the cut!)

This scene is tedious but it does give Xue Yang a chance to explain his motivations and philosophy. Why do we need to know? Because he’s here to provide a contrast to Wei Wuxian. Notably, he says, of his massacre of the Chang clan, “since I want to kill that whole family in Yueyang, then I wouldn’t even leave their dog alive.” 

As we get to know Xue Yang, he seems to be into murdering entire clans, and it’s easy to assume he picks them at random. But in fact, his killing of the Chang clan was his revenge for a grievance, and he waited until he earned Wen Ruohan’s permission before he embarked on his massacre. He’s not an uncontrolled spree murderer, despite talking and preening like one. His killing of Song Lan’s sect was also revenge for a grievance. 

The problem with Xue Yang’s murderous tendencies isn’t that they are uncontrolled or random; it’s that he has no sense of proportion, and no mercy. Contrast this with Wei Wuxian, who went on his own revenge-driven killing spree, but even as he massacred the Wens at their corporate offices, he left Wen Qing alive. And once he’d killed those directly responsible for the massacre of the Jiang clan, he turned to actively saving other Wens.  

Active Listening

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji’s fight coordinator is on a smoke break, so Lan Wangji has nothing to do for several minutes except turn around trying to see or hear something through the fog. He keep this move fresh by executing it in as many different ways as possible.

You’ve got the head turn with hair flip...

the “eyes first” head turn...

the fast head turn...

and the body turn while the head stays put.

Nailed It

After conversing through the mist for a while, Xue Yang decides he’s going to try to stick nails in Wei Wuxian, like those he used on Song Lan. 

Wei Wuxian’s fight coordinator is taking a nap, so he just stands there helplessly while the nails come straight at him. Fortunately Wen Ning has some moves prepped, and he comes sailing in -- flying faster than two metal projectiles, which is a neat trick -- to intercept the nails. 

He squeezes them to make sure they’re dead, and drops them as dramatically as possible. 

Wei Wuxian gets in on the head-turning action for a bit, until he figures out that A-Qing is helping them. 

A-Qing is even better at listening than Lan Wangji is, and she knocks her stick on the ground when Xue Yang is near her. 

This allows Lan Wangji to throw Bichen right through Xue Yang’s chest.

Unfortunately, Xue Yang is busily stabbing A-Qing in the heart already.

Wei Wuxian runs over to A-Qing, but he’s too late...since she’s not a cultivator, the wound is fatal.

If you find the low camera angle and the lens distortion here familiar, there’s a reason for that.

Actually, the whole situation is familiar, isn’t it?

Right down to the white clothes and the pierced heart.

Sigh. At least A-Qing’s death was part of her own fight with Xue Yang, not someone else’s story. She put herself in harm’s way to use Lan Wangji as her weapon.

Lay Down Your Arms

Speaking of pierced hearts, I feel like Xue Yang’s chest wound should be bleeding at least as much as his mouth is bleeding, but what do I know?

Xue Yang goes to attack Wei Wuxian, hollering as he does it. At least I think he’s targeting WWX; the blocking in this scene is confusing. Anyway, this gives Lan Wangji the opportunity to do the greatest fight move of his entire career.

He throws Bichen at Xue Yang, severing his arm in such a way that the arm spins around and hits Xue Yang with his own sword.

Fuck Yeah Hanguang-Jun!

Note: if you like Xue Yang’s fight scenes as much as I do, check out my fanvid over here. 

Now I’ve Gotta Turn My Back on You

Once Xue Yang is unable to fight, Su-She-in-a-mask appears, initially trying to rescue him. 

Su She goes to grab XY’s shoulder to teleport him out out there, but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji react simultaneously, throwing a talisman (WWX) and Bichen (LWJ) at his hand, forcing him to let go. 

So he yoinks the Yin Tiger Seal from Xue Yang’s vest pocket and them bamfs himself away, leaving Xue Yang to his fate.

Xue Yang takes a moment to contemplate how well and truly fucked he is. 

Then he cackles gleefully, since that’s his response to anyone having a terrible day, including himself, apparently. 

This inspires Song Lan to finish pulling himself together so that he can finish Xue Yang. 

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave him to it instead of sticking around to make sure XY is really dead this time. Remarkably, this does not result in a miraculous escape for Xue Yang, and Song Lan stabs him, mortally wounding him. 

Then, as Xue Yang lies bleeding out in the road, the show pulls an amazing switcharoo, giving us Xue Yang's perspective on the events leading up to his death, explaining his perspective and giving new depth to his character.  Still evil, still an asshole, but also a victim, with a temperament formed by trauma and injustice. 

Flashback Time

Flashback-Xue-Yang tells Flashback-Xiao-Xingchen what he’s done. First we get him gloating as he explains what he’s done to XXC.

Then he explains why. We circle around and around until we arrive at his central trauma: the encounter with Sect Leader Chang that cost him his finger and turned him into a vengeance machine. 

When he was busy carrying out his long-planned revenge on the Chang clan, Xiao Xingchen interrupted him, with Song Lan’s help, so he extended his revenge plan to include them. And because he has no sense of proportion, he wasn’t content with killing them; he wanted to destroy them, particularly Xiao Xingchen, whose idealism deeply offends Xue Yang. 

Everything he did to Xiao Xingchen was basically an elaborate way of saying, “the world is worse than you believe it to be.” 

His plan comes to fruition when he tells Xiao Xingchen everything he has done to him, culminating in showing him what they - together - have done to Song Lan. 

Unfortunately it works too well, because Xiao Xingchen is so horrified and disillusioned that he cuts his own throat, falling dead while Xue Yang watches in horror. 

Song Lan’s tiny, perplexed reaction to Xiao Xingchen’s death--the first thing he’s reacted to since losing his fight with Xue Yang--always breaks my heart.

Then things get really weird. Xue Yang is determined to resurrect Xiao Xingchen, following the same protocols that Wei Wuxian developed for reviving Wen Ning. But his version is way, way creepier. 

Initially his plan is to add Xiao Xingchen to his collection of fierce corpses, because the dead are easier to control.  But as time passes and XXC fails to wake up, Xue Yang becomes more and more distraught, showing what looks like a genuine attachment to Xiao Xingchen. 

This doesn’t make him less of an abuser, but it does make him a lot more interesting and complex of a character.

As the flashback ends, Xue Yang’s last thought is about Xiao Xingchen giving him candy, simply out of the kindness of his heart. 

Ultimately, Xiao Xingchen teaches him, at the very end of his life, that the world is--slightly--better than Xue Yang believed it to be.  

The Point of It All

Of the many parallels we see in Yi City, the arc of Xue Yang’s life compared with the arc of Wei Wuxian’s is particularly important.  

They each have similar talents; they each had similar beginnings. But Wei Wuxian has a kind heart and a yearning for justice, while Xue Yang is relentlessly cruel and cynical. Why?

The answer, I think, is this guy:

When Xue Yang was a hungry street urchin, he encountered Sect Leader Chang, who reviled him, beat him, and grievously injured him, setting him on the path of vengeance, murder and mayhem. When Wei Wuxian was a hungry street urchin, he encountered Sect Leader Jiang, who fed him, elevated him to a high status, and taught him, by example, to value and protect the weak.

Xue Yang responded by wiping out every member of the Chang clan. Wei Wuxian responded by tearing himself apart in order to ensure the continuation of the Jiang clan, as well as becoming the hero of the Sunshot campaign, a champion for the weak, and the cultivation partner of the most righteous dude in the Jianghu.

Jiang Fengmian wasn’t a good parent (understatement), but he was a pretty good sect leader, and at a crucial moment, he chose kindness.  That moment ripples outward through families and sects, across generations, into the wider society.  How a man chooses to interact with a hungry child can ultimately shape the entire world. 

...damn it, Yi City, you made me appreciate Jiang Fengmian! 

[marksbear]

I had this idea for a fic a while back so I just wrote it high of pain killers. And a little warning i'm about to dump a few Steven Grant fic's.

Thought about my 50% 🐻‍❄ like the whole time while making this, so this could be your little gift my 50%!

Warnings! Possessive, jealous, delusional Steven Grant! Yandere themes, facial, semi public, blowjob, bathroom sex. SMUT!

YANDERE STEVEN GRANT X SUB TOP MALE READER

Y/n is humming to himself as he picks up some items off the shelves as his boyfriend is holding onto his arm with a tight grip rambling about his day.

A man from Y/n's old highschool stares at him by a nearby shelf in the grocery store. Thinking about approaching the male.

"Is that you Y/n L/n?" The boy asks approaching after making the decision it's better just to take the chance than rather be called a creep for staring at the male for so long.

Steven is first to react mumbling something under his breath. He holds onto tighter Y/n's arm before looking up at Y/n. Y/n turns his body around to see where the unfamiliar voice came from.

"Jonas fuckin Hill." Y/n says eyes wide a bit with a small smile on his face. "Nice to see you N/n!" Jonas says checking out Y/n's body shamelessly. "Great to see you as well my man." Y/n responds back.

"You know Y/n. If I had known you were gonna look this good before I broke up with you I would have stopped fooling around and asking you to marry me." Jonas jokes with a small bit of seriousness in his voice.

Y/n smiles grow wider at the joke before responding. "Oh shut up. You're the one who fumbled me."

"God I miss you man. I miss everything about you. Like the way you kissed, the way you fucked and just the way you had set up cute little dates. I miss what we had." Jonas says winking at Y/n.

If looks could kill Jonas would have been dropped dead on the floor by the way Steven is glaring at him. Steven's heart aches and becomes full of hatred. Steven wanted nothing more to just pull Y/n back home.

"Seriously Y/n. I would drop my whole life so we can go back to our younger days and do the reckless shit we used to do. Hey! Remember that one time when you fucked me in a----" "Okay Jonas!" Y/n cuts him off feeling a bit embarrassed.

"That's all in the past. I'm with someone new. And he's right here, so lets not talk about me and yours old sex life in front of my new boyfriend."

Y/n adds before giving Jonas a quick goodbye before pulling his boyfriend with him to a different aisle.

"How come you never mentioned Jonas?" Steven asks feeling a bit hurt from Y/n. "Theres nothing to mention. We weren't even in a full relationship mostly just "helping" acts between friends. He doesn't make me feel the way you make me feel." Steven's heart flutters once he hears those words fall from Y/n's mouth.

"I mean it Steven. You're different from anyone else I use to date. You're special and that's what I love about you." Y/n says with a wink before continuing his shopping. "Special... He thinks i'm special. That has to mean something right. We've only been dating for a couple of weeks, but since he thinks i'm special he must feel what i'm feeling." Steven thinks to himself internally as he watches and stares at Y/n.

As they continued shopping they kept somehow running into Jonas over and over again.

Slowly Steven gets even more and more jealous and possessive of Y/n. "Y/n! Jesus man i'm seeing you everywhere-" Jonas says halfway before getting cut off by Steven dragging Y/n away to the direction to the restrooms. "Wha- Steven what the hell-." Y/n says after getting shoved into the restroom and into a stall, but gets cut off by Steven kissing him roughly on the lips.

Steven pushes Y/n against the wall trying to use all his might trying to take control of the situation sadly Y/n beats him to it.

Y/n takes a fist full of Steven's hair pulling him back to catch his breath. "Steven. Please slow down just slow down Stevey." Y/n asks, but Steven ignores the request by pushing his hand inside Y/n's pants grabbing and playing with his semi hard dick. Y/n moves his hands to Steven's shoulders trying to push him away.

Steven sinks down to his knees nuzzling Y/n's tent in his pants. Steven begins to undo Y/n's pants taking off his belt and everything and pulls down his pants alongside his underwear in one swift motion.

Y/n tries to touch Steven's head, but gets his hands swatted away. "No touching." Steven says before giving Y/n's cock head a few kisses. Steven wraps his hand around Y/n's cock stroking it lightly before jerking it off at a slow painful pace.

Steven gives Y/n's tip a long lick on the tip circling his tongue around the tip tasting the small bits of precum on Y/n's cock.

Y/n covers his mouth as he watches Steven play and tease around with his cock.

Steven begins to wrap his lips around Y/n's cock swirling his tongue around his cock as he begins to suck it. Steven pulls his head off Y/n's cock with a slight "pop" Before looking up at Y/n with an innocent face jerking off his cock even faster than before. Steven licks long strides on Y/n's cock bottom to top.

Finally once Steven thought it was enough teasing and edging Y/n he moved his lips back around Y/n's cock pushing his head deeper into his cock. Soon enough Steven's instinct kicks in and he begins to bob his head up and down on Y/n's cock. Inch by inch more of Y/n's cock Steven begins to choke and gag on his cock.

Soon Steven begins to deepthroat Y/n's cock as he sinks into the base of his cock. Steve's face pressed up against Y/n as he began to swallow and lick around Y/n's cock.

Steven bobs his head back just to push it back down onto Y/n's cock as he feels it hit the back of his throat. Steven looks up at Y/n making eye-contact making everything even more erotic. Y/n eyes look down at Steven's hungry lustful watering eyes as soft moans escape his lips. Steven pulls off of Y/n's cock with another "pop" and stares up at Y/n waiting for Y/n to beg him.

"Steven~ Fuck! Ohh fuck Steven~ Please keep sucking my cock! Fuck please baby. I- I beg you just ple--" Y/n gets cut off by the restroom door opening. Y/n automatically knew who footsteps were those.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" Jonas asks standing in the middle of the restroom not too far from the stall Y/n and Steven are in.

"J-Jonas! Uhm. Yeah i'm in here." Y/n calls back out watching nervously as Steven goes back to sucking his cock. Steven sucks Y/n off even faster trying to see if he can break Y/n.

"You alright man? Is everything good? Don't tell me that your boyfriend is there with you." Jonas asks with a hint of jealousy in his tone.

"Yeah! Mphmm~ Oh g-god. Of course i'm alright everything is good. And no he's not here fuck~ h-he went to the car because I-I was taking too long shopping." Y/n shakily responds feeling his dick twitch inside Steven's tongue.

Steven pulls off Y/n's cock looking up at him as he jerks him off at a fast and rough pace. Steven sticks his tongue out eagerly to taste Y/n's cum. "Oh fuck! Oh fuck! GahHh~ I'm close! fuckkk~ I'm close~" Y/n moans out in a whisper before covering his mouth with his hand as he throws his head back from the pleasure.

"What was that Y/n? I can't quite hear you?" Jonas says looking towards Y/n's stall.

Y/n couldn't bring himself to answer as he lets out a loud moan as he shoots his load onto Steven's face and mouth. White streaks covering Steven's as he tries to catch and taste Y/n's cum.

To make sure theres nothing left that Y/n could give Steven sucks Y/n's tip making sure thats all of it.

Y/n holds onto the stall wall for support as he rides out his orgasm with his eyes squeezed shut. Not even caring anymore Y/n lets out loud moans and whimpers.

After a few more kisses Steven gave Y/n's cock he tucks in Y/n's cock back into his underwear and pulls up his pants and puts his belt back on making him look like everything is normal.

Y/n uses some fingers to scrape some of the cum off of Steven's face and rub it onto Steven's lips like its lipstick or pushing it into Steven's mouth. And with the other half he'll lick off with his own tongue cleaning up Steven.

"Uhm- Bye Y/n! See you later I guess!" Jonas says with a panicking slightly before rushing out of the restrooms.

"I love you Y/n. I want you to know that. You're mine and mine only. I'll do anything for you Y/n. And I want you to know that Jonas will never be able to see you again." Steven confesses. Y/n didn't really understand fully what Steven said and half of him didn't really care as he still was in the pure bliss he was feeling minutes ago.

Steven rolls up the bottom of his shirt showing Y/n a tattoo on by his v-line that says "Y/n L/n's property." "I got even more that I'll have to show you once we get home!" Steven says with a bright smile.

"Look at this!" Steven says lifting up his shirt even more revealing Y/n's initials cut into him scarring it into for life.

"Jeez Steven... We've only been dating for a couple of weeks. Uhm I really don't know what to say." Y/n says a bit freaked out.

"That doesn't matter! Me and you were made for each other don't you get that? Together forever and ever!" Steven remarks back.

Y/n slowly begins to back up away from Steven opening the stall door and walks out. "Well- Steven lets go. We have been here for too long. How about you go back to the car while I get the cart and everything and buy our stuff." Y/n says trying to get the hell away from him.

Before Steven could say anything Y/n bolts out the restroom speed walking to the cart as planned. Steven quickly follows suit shouting a quick "Slow down!"

THE END... Or is it?

[ourghoststories]

Recovery [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

I wasn't a fan of Bucky, I never liked the idea of super soldiers, even with Steve Rogers

We never got on and now wasn't any different, even if I liked him, doesn't mean I had to literally like him.

He had recently gotten hurt on one of his high priority missions, and it made me feel a sadness in the pit of my stomach that only meant one thing, I had to care for the super soldier.

As much as I'd tried or I'd like to deny it, those jittery feelings I felt betrayed me to the reality of that and I couldn't fight it, especially not now that he had been shot in the stomach, it was pretty serious, even the doctors were putting him under strict conditions, he couldn't do much and I was the one who had to look after him.

"Hey Bucky" I smiled caringly, despite having preconceived ideas about him.

"Oh, you're the help... Nice to meet you, you already know the name" he chuckled.

My walls were up and I couldn't help but feel like he was a good person, but I wasn't made for looking after anyone, not even myself.

"Yeah hi, uh I'm y/n" I mumbled anxiously.

For the first time I actually felt scared, what if I screwed up or what if he did? It was a 50/50 effort, it needed to be.

"I don't need looking after, gunshots take a few days, minimal bruising and they go away, no help necessary" he argued, putting up his defences.

"Bucky, I was sent to help you for a reason, you may not need any help but I'm not a quitter and you got sent me for a reason, it wasn't just one gunshot injury, you were fired on multiple times and it's worse than usual" I said sternly.

"I'm fine, I don't need someone looking after me who- no offense - knows nothing about me or what I've been through, especially now" he said abruptly before he pulled his bedsheets up higher.

"Seriously Barnes, that's not gonna cut it- I know what you're doing and why you're doing it and also that you don't trust me one little bit which is infuriating because I also feel the same way, trust is a hard thing for me too, so don't act like a insolent child and just choose the easy way out- not out, but through- damn it" I stammered, trying to do the right thing.

"I don't need help, seriously, you could get yourself killed don't you know I'm the Winter Soldier, a train assassin who takes lives mercilessly" he spat sarcastically.

"I know that's not you, it never was. I've been made privy to your case file, I know what your situation is, I know you on paper... I just don't know you in person" I said softly, making my way to the bed.

"You mind if I" I gestured towards the bed so he could move his feet and I could sit there.

"Look, I know we barely know each other but you work so hard in the field, it doesn't mean you can't work hard while we're spending time together, we can do more research into the people who are the targets right now... I know Sam's pretty keen on you resting and letting him steer the ship for a while and by the way, just because you're hurt and you need a break that you don't mean anything to anyone, that couldn't be further from the truth" I argued passionately, not caring if he liked it or not.

I just needed to take my role seriously, even if he was some big, scary, super soldier that I needed to be wary of.

The case file and notes contained a lot, but they were no way descriptive of who he was, it was just informative data that didn't have anything about who he was as a person.

"Please just... I don't like trusting new people, I barely contact anyone and I stick to myself, I know you've been around me and proved yourself more than a little bit about being a good agent, but if you want to know me you're gonna have to persevere, I'm not easy to get along with" he said shyly, looking down at the ground and avoiding eye-contact.

"I know how this goes, Barnes, just let me complete my mission, as you do all of yours. You're an inspiration to so many people" I mumbled.

"Yeah and another group of people are equally convinced I'm a killer, I was only pardoned because of Steve, he did all the work, he rescued me, heck, if it wasn't for him I'd never be myself. 90 years I fought and fought and took countless lives, people with families and loved ones, how's a guy like me ever gonna make up for that", he spat, getting angry at himself before he tensed and winced in pain.

"Argh" he groaned, obviously overdoing it.

"If you'd just listen Sargent, this wouldn't be so difficult, for either of us" I lectured as he grunted, this time out of stubbornness.

"I'm taking that as a yes" I smiled, before I squeezed his hand and saw a flicker of hope in his eyes, even though he was trying to hide it.

"Don't call me that, it's not right, I haven't been that fo-"

"For 90 years. I get it, stop being sorry for yourself, I know this sucks but we can work past this. Your therapist has instructed me to be stern with you, you know that you're doing a great job right? I'm impressed with how you've been going. You're allowed to struggle with what's going on, I'm not taking that away from you Bucky" I comforted.

I could tell Bucky secretly - or maybe not so secretly - liked being called Sargent, even if in his mind he didn't fully associate with it, it was the opposite of a trigger, a positive association word.

He took a breath in "okay, I'll give it a go, I will- but you gotta help me and work with me, especially with the new arm, it takes a while to get adjusted to. It's been playing up since a bullet got lodged in the vibranium, but I assume you know how to help with that?".

"Yes I do, I can help with the arm in multiple ways, but it's gonna be good for you to do some physio and manual manipulation for the rest of your aches, after all, you keep throwing yourself in the deep end with these missions. The government are only letting you off the hook because you're providing them with a service. The rest of the world aren't necessarily happy about that, you should be careful" I said calmly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm aware of the consequences... The government want me as long as I have some ideas about their assets and when they're being targeted I'm considered one of them. If I work with you, what do I get in terms that we'd both understand?" He smirked.

"Careful what you push for soldier- what happens if I was up for grabs, what would you say if I said 'just say the words'" I winked.

"Oh shit, you're not even joking. Doll I think I'm too old for you and miserable but I'd take you up on the offer for a bit of fun" he chuckled, the first time id seen him genuinely smiling the whole time id been around.

"Oh wow not that kind of fun- I'm not saying no, I just-", he paused "shut it Barnes, yeah I get it, sorry y/n" he said, mentally facepalming.

I giggled "you're not too old, you're just right... But let's see how things go first, and how much of a crack you're willing to give it".

"Got it, you won't hear two words from me" he fake saluted.

"James, you just said more than two words" I chuckled again, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"You're gonna make me blush" he fake swooned.

So the journey continued with the Sargent and I.

---A/N

hello I hope everyone is doing well, Darcy is the one writing these Bucky stories because I can't get enough lol, are they gonna release more tftws? because I loved it so much

[yandereunsolved]

Kai Anderson & James Patrick March fusion

彡 What would they look like fused?

Name: Benjamin 'Benji' Antero March

Species: Ghoul

Age: late twenties

Sex & Gender: Male & Cisgender

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Height: 5'10"

Eye color: gray

Hair color & style: blue with black roots, medium-length, half bun

Clothes: academia aesthetic— trench coats, button up shirts, dress pants, pocket watch, ascots, suits

Extra attributes: healed scar on his neck, dimples, four arms, chest tattoo of his kill count that goes up everytime he kills someone new, and vitiligo

彡 Who is dominant in the fusion?

• Equally dominant

█████ 50% Kai Anderson

█████ 50% James Patrick March

彡 Personality & Background

Canon Background:

Kai Anderson came to the Cortez after one of his ex-cult members fled to the hotel after betraying him. While killing the ex-cult member in their bed, James appeared before him. They spoke and realized they had similar ideals. James is a serial killer, and Kai is a cult leader. They have their differences when it comes to James's gentlemanly attitude. He is sincere in that fact, and with Kai, it is just a facade. The thing that rests underneath the both of them is unhinged and equally twisted.

They fused because of James manipulation. While fused, they are equally dominant, but James always has a bit of an edge against Kai while de-fused. They fused after killing the family of a wealthy governor who had crossed Kai.

Together, they are Bejamin, or Benji for short. Benji is a serial killer cultist. Kais inner circle of his cult moves into the Cortez, and the rest of his devoted followers live around them or will commit to traveling there for meetings. Benji teaches his inner circle how to kill effectively and how to use the hotel, mostly. If someone were to betray him, he still has enough tricks up his sleeve to rid them from this world.  

He has the hotel Cortez upgraded with new floors and even more intricate traps and killing places. If the Cortez was a murder hotel before, now it's a massacre hotel. Benji constantly has the authorities coming under cover and snooping in his palace of death. They all disappear without a trace of their whereabouts.

Benji rarely defuses. The large milestone he defuses for is Devil's Night. As well as whenever Kai has to do his work and give speeches. 

Kai and James have to share partners. James refuses to allow anyone to fall into Kai's— unrefined ways, and Kai just wants to show James that he is able to steal from his selection of lovers. Kai gets insecure around James, and James exploits that. Apart, they are definitely yanderes, but Benji is like yandere turned up in every single category. Any partner, hookup, or flirt is either deadmeat or his soul mate.

You fall for Benji? You are dating Kai and James as well. You fall for Kai? James and Benji. You fall for James? Well, Kai and Benji. Those are the rules. You have to abide by them, or you are just another body in the never-ending pile.

Personality:

First off, Benji has Kias misogyny and James gentleman-like nature. Benji is a condescending and protective misogynist. In his mind, he doesn't hate women; they aren't below him. They just need to be protected. They just need to be explained to. He just needs to guide them in the right manner. He doesn't need a traditional wife. He just needs a man, woman, non-binary, etc. who will listen.

Definitely a Lawful Evil type. Benji is straight-up vile and evil, but he has his own code. He doesn't kill in other people's territory without their permission. He doesn't let others kill inside his territory, the Cortez, without his permission. He doesn't leave a mess. He doesn't make a sound, but his victims do. His killing style is very much inspired by art, especially religious art. He uses the blood of his enemies for paintings that he hangs in the Cortez. Of course he dilutes the blood enough so that if you test it no blood match will come of it. He loves art galas.

An ENTP, Lawful Evil, cultist, serial killer. Quite a handful. As I said, another rule of his is that you have to listen. That is his most important rule. Those who don't listen, disappear. He doesn't give anyone second chances... except maybe you (reader).

✉ Sidenote: I could also make an original character that could be his lover??? And then I could also write about him with just a reader insert??? OC lover? Yes or no.

Very yandere. Not even gonna lie— possessive, obsessive, meticulous, and manipulative. He's still oddly wholesome on a weird level. This is because of how at odds some of Kais and James characteristics are. He will pull up in a limousine to McDonald's just to order some chicken nuggets. I am talking about him having his nicest clothes on and everything. The next moment he is in the Cortez eating a five star meal with foods you are unable to pronounce the names of.

Since he is a ghoul and part James— he does have to eat human flesh to partly sustain himself. The blood is more of a mere delicacy to him. He keeps blood wines for special occasions. The first time Kai came across this while they were defused he was like... "James wtf-???"

James merely explained that it must have been Benji that did so. James is more experienced with fusing because he has lived longer and fused with a few people. However, Kai has never fused stably with anyone before. James was his first. Kai often complains that James being his first real fusion sounds so gay. He fused with Winter once on accident and they were unstable. So they were only fused for like maybe five to ten minutes. Kai declared that he would never stoop as low as to fuse with a woman again. Yeah, yeah, homophobic Reddit incel— all of the bitches want to fuse with you.

彡 Abilities & Weapons

• Knife proficiency, Gunmanship, Swordsmanship

• Wealth, Intellect, Charisma, Hacking

• Control over the supernatural entities in the Cortez, Ghostly powers (will probably be expanded upon at a future date)

• Leadership skills/Cultist, Master killer

Benji gets very creative with his killing. He only really has one specialized weapon from his fusion. His pocket watch. Ah, ah! Hold on. Do not click off just because I said pocket watch. Stay with me here.

His pocket watch has a secret compartment that he is able to keep a vial of untraceable poison in. One drop is enough to kill an entire country. One vial of it is worth half a billion dollars. So of course when he is serving intimate dinners he will tell Ms. Evers to slip a drop in— just so the dearest guest that he hates with his guts dies mysteriously. (Inspired by when Kai made them drink the kool-aid and it wasn't poisoned. tehe. except now Benji has a vial to poison the 'kool-aid'.)

彡 Dialog(s)

"Hmm? Well, this is new. I can't wait to kill in this new body." - Benji's first words; Kai and James fusing for the first time

"Darling, don't be a slut. Men don't like women that are sluts for everyone. They only like women who are sluts for them." - Benji right before killing his one night stand who was a hooker

"Who says I can't achieve world domination and kill while doing it? I am a very skilled multi-tasker." - To the Countess

"Shut the fuck up! Shut it, just shut up! Can't you do one thing right in your miserable, pathetic little life? One thing. One thing I ask of you and yet you failed!" - To Ms. Evers after she ruined his brand new suit while trying to clean the blood out of it

"Fail again and you will have a second death. Twice as long. Twice as painful. And twice the fun for me." - Benji threatening one of his dead followers after they failed to kill someone for him

"I would be terribly sorry for making you wait. Except, I see no manwich. I kill for you, I satisfy your carnal desires, I give you the greatest and most pure form of love. I provide you all you would ever need and more. Yet, when I ask for a manwich—! You cannot fucking make it. You know, dearie, I absolutely despise people who can't listen. Isn't that all I have ever asked of you? To listen." - Benji speaking to a, now ex and dead, partner of his; referenced below

"Ah, oh, yes. maniacal giggles You are fucked. In both ways." - to a freshly made ex-partner of his

"Are you done playing your little games? Holy water, a salt ring, a set of rosary beads— it's all so thrilling. Your need to resist me. Your attempts to make yourself seem more safe. You are dead, but don't accept it. I want to see the fear in your eyes as the life leaves them." - to a nun before he kills her

"Are you a homosexual? How repulsively tempting." - Benji flirting with a CEO to get his guard down so he is able to hack into his computer and steal all of the CEO's money and secrets

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

✉ a/n: I really tried to successfully combine both of their personalities. I'm afraid that some of Kai's discord kitten energy got drowned out by James's old timey-ness... since they are an equally dominant fusion I tried to mix both of their traits together equally. I was thinking of doing a combination of either Kit & FrankenKyle or Jimmy Darling & FrankenKyle next... or Tate & FrakenKyle. I just love Kyle sm. He's such a sweet baby. Thank you for listening to my rants. Remember that you are important and loved :) And if no one told you today, thank you for being alive 💕.

✉ tags: @bluerthanvelvet444 @lacucarachapisser

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I was thinking about the "kid version" Color has, and that got me wondering about how a mini version of Killer would be like as well

So i'm here to ask how do you think a little Killer would be like 🔥

If we’re going with those turns back to how they were, probably however Sans was like as a kid. But if we’re going as like, Killer as a kid, probably those types of kids that never got to be a kid.

Had to grow up too fast, parentified, grew up knowing no one would look after him, take care of him, protect him, or meet his needs but himself. Probably as if he was treated more like an object than a kid, as if he had very intrusive and controlling caretakers and wasn’t entitled to privacy or boundaries.

Probably like the type that got into a lot of trouble with the law (such as stealing food drinks or clothes), or into fights with other kids, spent his childhood in and out of mental institutions, wildlife places (forgot what they were called), or in juvie.

The type of “problem child” at school that’s actually an apparently well-behaved and “perfect” child at home. Probably used to try his best at school, but started suffering from burnout and dissociation and unmedicated ADHD eventually.

Type of kid that’s clearly ill and traumatized and in need of help and support, but never asks for any help and is always well behaved at home and never tells anybody what’s happening at home—a very convincing liar and good at pretending to be okay.

That type of kid that had CPS frequently called to his home and nurses and doctors know him well—but he refuses to tell anyone anything, has managed to convince many that everything was fine for a long while there.

He often seems very absent and not present, frequent meltdowns and panic attacks, and probably been triggered into Stage 3 and reacted defensively, disoriented and confused when he “calms down” as others would describe it. A kid deeply distrustful and scared of the world around him, and often escaping somewhere inside to avoid having to face reality or lashing out.

The type of kid that runs away from home and is found wandering around the streets as if confused, but more often then not lies about why he did or where he was planning to go— perhaps he himself can’t explain why he was running away, if there’s nothing wrong at home. Probably the type of kid whose eyes seem like they stare through everyone at something else.

The type of kid that classmates, teachers, and cafeteria crew notice how thin he is and worry he doesn’t get enough at home—so some try to share their lunch and breakfast with him, or give him free food or leftovers.

Many won’t know there’s anything wrong at all, because he’s good at pretending, and will hide whatever signs of “weakness” or “vulnerability” possible.

He’d probably have a small group of friends but wouldn’t get too overly emotionally attached genuinely, even if he behaves and adapts to those around him (Stage 2.)

People may see him as a witty and clever kid, but an underachiever who doesn’t care too much about school and appears disinterested in most things—in contrast to Stage 1 who wants to please and be involved and would be devastated by an criticism or rejection, and Stage 4–who’d be rigidly desperate to appease authority figures if ever triggered.

Stage 1 & 4 would probably be the reasons why some would view him as a “good kid” or “obedient” or “teachers pet,” whereas Stage 2 and 3 are where the “troubled kid” rep comes from—even if Stage 2 is good at lying and pretending and Stage 3 is only ever behaving that way due to being triggered and provoked.

And given how little Color was described before, these two probably met in detention but for very different reasons lmao. Killer’s there because he stabbed some kid and Color’s there because he was blamed for something someone else did.

Or because he told a kid their fit was ugly after the kid asked for his honest opinion. It’s a 50/50 on if Color’s gonna be a good influence on Killer, or if Killer will be a bad influence on Color, is what everyone thinks.

[stubbedt0e]

Ren x Vampire! Angel

The following contains violence, mention of blood, self-destructive behaviour and some sexual themes. If any of these bother you please scroll away.

!! Minors DNI !!

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel is a pacifist vampire who doesn’t want to prey on humans because they see them as fragile beings. After their family was hunted down and killed by the angry mob, they had to live the majority of their life in a secluded area deep in the forest.

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel finally moves back to Corland Bay after half a century and is working as a librarian from 4 pm to 6pm at the Corland Bay library just so they can live a peaceful life just like a working class human. Their fascination with human beings and their rather short life has made them take this risk. But deep down they know, if the people of the city ever find out who they truly are, their fate won't be any different than those vampires from 50 years ago...burnt to ashes in front of the townsfolk for their enjoyment.

"Is there truly an evil? Or are we all just victims of our own situation? Driven to sin?"

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel meets this curious young man. Someone they have seen come to the library on a daily basis. With the "help'' of their co-worker, Elanor, they finally manage to talk to the man. After a little chat, they find out his name is Ren.

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel has a lot of self restraint. Yet they feel a little dizzy and tipsy whenever Ren is close to them. His scent is driving them crazy. They want to ravage him but...they can't forget their vow...This man has them infatuated but they can't lose control...

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel is trying their best to restrain themselves. They usually just get blood from a blood bank in two or three months, which is enough to keep them alive but it's the bare minimum. So, they are starving. On top of that, that man's scent...it's too hard to control their primal urges...

"No...no..I can't lose control now...I can't harm a human...I need to stop these urges...I have to.."

Vampire! Angel au, where Ren takes Angel out on a date the next day. A bright and beautiful day, perfect for a date. But they are getting vivid hallucinations and cant see humans as humans anymore, the only thing that calms their urges..human faces are now a black void without any human features...But they are brought back to their senses by a gentle tap on their shoulder by Ren.

Vampire! Angel au, where after the date Angel invites Ren to their apartment. Soon they start to lose their sense of control..They quickly get in their bathroom. Now laying down in the bathtub, they bite on their own arm to control their urges around Ren. The blood tastes...stale but at least they are coming down...right? Before they can analyze the situation any further, the world around them turns black..

...

"I cannot become a monster..."

Vampire! Angel au, where Ren finds out Angel, passed out in the bathtub, bite marks covering their arms. He picks them up and takes them to their bedroom.

He realized your true nature...

Vampire! Angel au, where Ren tends for Angel till they wake up. With visible distress in his eyes, he holds your hand and places it on his chest.

"You could have just asked me...I would do anything for you...anything"

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel drinks from Ren for the very first time after a lot of convincing. Ren has a way with his words, he must admit. With Angel sitting on his lap, their fangs inches away from the tender skin of his neck. He smiles and whispers in their ear.

"Go on...we have come this far already..don't stop now.."

Vampire! Angel au, where the taste of Ren's blood has driven Angel to pure lust for blood. They lose their sense of humanity, letting the vampiric urges take control of their body. But they gain back their control with a pale Ren, looking down at them. A smirk on his lips as they felt a tent on his pants. Blushing, they hide their face. Ren cups their cheeks with both of his hands and places a chaste kiss on their forehead.

"Don't worry..I enjoyed it..as much as you did.."

Vampire! Angel au, where both Ren and Angel goes to sleep together. The next morning as they wake up, a realization hits Angel. They quickly go through their drawers and take a metal box with a silver knife in it. They hand it to Ren.

"Listen...don't ever come near me again, okay? I'm doing this for your safety...I am dangerous for you...here, take this. If I ever attack you, intentionally or unintentionally, don't hesitate to use this on me."

Vampire! Angel au, where Angel tells Ren to go away, with the silver knife still on his hand. He looks at it, with a blank stare for a while.

"Sorry, my angel...as much as I would like to cherish something you have gifted me, this thing will distance us...and anything that distances us is not something I will cherish.."

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love:Barbie girl,not a Barbie World

God himself only knows how bad things got and what went down between Blitzo and his sister Barbie Wire for her to hate the imp so much that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him in her life. Christ on a stick she could only hope that shitshow at that Summer camp was the last that she'd ever see of that emotional trainwreck but somehow she had a feeling her luck would be that shitty. The very idea was enough to drive her to drink and that was just exactly what she did, chugging down some of the strongest stuff they had in whatever dive or watering hole she could find to kill her brain cells. Okay so what she got a hangover out of it, it’d be fucking worth it if you asked her!!

At least that was what she tells herself at the time but the splitting headache and blurry vision she had the next morning was a very different story. Her brain feeling like someone was banging a wrecking ball against it as the crawling of a roach sounded way too loud, she opened her eyes to find an unfamiliar ceiling of what was no doubt some cheap ratty speak easy motel. Her body numb and sore all over which could only be signs that she had gotten laid and pretty damn well, Christ on a stick she could smell and feel the stickiness. Wincing as she sat up, vision clearing and adjusting while taking in a mental survey of the damage to the room.

Barbie:”Daaaaaamn when I get drunk, I get drunk…”*Fishing around for her phone as she found it on the floor, she checked the time to find but noticed something peculiar. Apparently her notifications claimed her photo gallery was loaded enough to a point her phone’s memory was almost full.*”How in the fuck? It wasn’t even anywhere 50% last night…….”*Sweet Anti-Christ she hoped she hadn't done anything stupid and fucked up like her brother had, but it was hard to top the guy who stole Verosika Mayday's credit cards after boning her, ditching her then maxing said cards out on horse riding lessons. Seriously, what was up with him and the horses?*

Deciding to chance it and hope there wasn't anything too cringe or incriminating, she unlocked her phone and started with the photos first in order oldest and most recent. Feeling her eyes widen and her jaw drop in absolute shock to find herself in what were very borderline compromising, NSFW type positions and poses. Nudes, lewd selfies and the like all ranging from very sloppy, open air tongue kisses between herself and all too familiar face. That damn little crossdressing pipsqueak underling of her brother's who was undercover trying to bust up her little summer camp smuggling operation!!

Now that she thought about it, apparently something happened not long after she made her escape from Blitzo and his clingy bullshit that went viral involving him and Mill-something, christ what were their names? It still escaped her but each and every picture she examined brought back hazy liquor fuelled moments of the past night in a hazy yet vivid lucidty. Making out with him as he felt up her tits and ass, oh especially her tight bubbly crimson red ass, the phantom sensations of swift stinging slaps making those cheeks clap, the feel of his breath she hugged and held his face in between her perky tits.....Sweet unholy whore of Babylon was she getting wet right now?!! Looking down at her crotch to find not only was that the case but what in all the 9 circles, how much jizz was that?

On further reflection at how sticky she was all over and especially between her legs but also the trashed state of her motel room, Barbie began to wonder not how far she went with..Moxxie, yeah that was the little dude's name, but just how the fuck did get this way? Deciding her memory refresh had to take the plunge down the night before rabbit hole as she began to examine the videos and suffice to say, if she found her body getting treacherously turned on before? Any and all sense of shame went out the window as her morbid curiosity took the helm, tapping play on the first one. Her face soon blushing so badly that it was making her natural skintone look pale as her eyes widened and her jaw dropped further as the audio kicked in.

The Videos all varied in terms of length ranging from a handful of seconds to minutes but all the same as each one kicked in after the other, it came back to Barbie like the rush of pain from taking a mountain goat headbutt to the cooch. Witnessing herself giving Moxxie a blowjob, her eyes glowing with lust as she bobbed her head on what could only be called the biggest cock she'd ever seen!! One that she saw herself choking on in the video as the imp grasped her curved horns and gave her an intense powerful facefucking. Only just occurring to the rehabbed ex circus girl that if she and Moxxie had their hands occupied here...then who the fuck in all the 7 sins was holding the camera?!

A query of course that briefly became forgotten as the video of her blowjob in what could only be considered a corner of whatever watering hole she'd been in last night transitioned into a video of her in what seemed to be the back seat of a very large car, a limo perhaps even? All she could tell was that she was sitting back moaning like a pornstar as Moxxie was eating her out and goddamn if he didn't seem to have quite the gifted tongue. Especially with how her video self was holding onto his horns for dear life as if not wanting him to pry off away from her slit. But then what followed was what had likely lead to her waking up here and now.

There was no mistaking the motel room even in its current undemolished state as it began with her and Moxxie making out in drunken passion as they stripped each naked. Whoever their camera-man or woman even going by the voice(s?) cheering them on as the sequence of videos indicated the passing of time and the progress of the demolition of the room. A dent in the wall as Moxxie pinned her up against it and jackhammered into her like some kind of sex machine, the couch knocked and flipped over as she was bent over it to be taken doggy style before pinned in a mating press with her legs spread up in the air. And of course the absolute declining state of the mattress and bedsheets as she and the secret stud went through a veritable kama sutra of positions.

Each and every video filled in the gaps as her haze cleared with clarity and her body tingled with the phantom sensations of pleasure. The final video playing showing her sleeping, curled in a cozy foetal postion, cum oozing from her overflowing snatch and crimson red skin glistening with sweat. All the while the cutely sleeping little possum was being carried away by some hellhound girl who was cradling him gently so as to not disturb him as the camera turned to show an imp girl who shot her a wink and a smile. Barbie of course managing to recognise her as Moxxie's dam wife who kept her attention as she left her a message.

Millie:"If you ever wanna know how good it is when you're sober, left you a note. Just give us a call and I'm sure we can arrange something..."*Millie of course punctuated this remark with a little kiss blown at the camera. The video finishing leaving barbie to reflect on this media gallery filled with evidence of what had to be the best fuck of her life that she just barely would've remembered. her pussy gushing as it hit her that after that night? No other guy would be able to even come close to that!!*

Barbie of course tried to debate the pros and cons of this as she mulled Millie's words over, finding the aforementioned note pinned on the nightstand by a knife. On the one hand this risked the chance of running into her emotional headcase fuck-up of a brother buuuuuuut it meant getting herself another dose of Moxxie love. It took a few minutes that felt like an eternity before Barbie decided "Fuck it...." and reached for the note. If anything least becoming a moxxie sex addict would be better than the booze and drugs sending her back to fuckdamn rehab, that was for sure!!

[mxtxfanatic]

I said I ultimately don’t respect Lan Xichen, and I don’t. BUT, there were a few places where I did respect the effort he put in to trying to find the truth behind Nie Mingjue’s dismembered corpse and into not completely disregarding Lan Wangji’s and Wei Wuxian’s suspicions.

Lan XiChen walked over, and Lan WangJi looked at him. As their eyes met, Lan XiChen’s expression hesitated before immediately becoming more complex, as though he found something unbelievable. It seemed that he already understood...

...He spoke, “A-Yao, would it be possible to let us in and allow us to take a look at your treasure room?”

–Chapt. 50: Guile, exr

Lan XiChen, “It does not sound different indeed. However, it definitely is not part of Cleansing.”

If it was a normal mistake, it wouldn’t blend so seamlessly into the other sections of the original song. This melody had to have been purposely polished before it was put in here. And this unfamiliar melody, not part of Cleansing but mixed into it, was likely the key to Nie MingJue’s death.

After a while of thought, Lan XiChen spoke, “You two can follow me.”

–Chapt. 63: Tenderness, exr

Lan XiChen took into his hands the piece of paper with the score on it. He stared at it for a while, “I will find some way to try this score.”...

...Lan XiChen supported his head on his hand. His voice was low, as though he was trying to hold something back, “WangJi, the version of Jin GuangYao that I know is entirely different compared to the version that you know and the version that the world knows! Throughout all these years, in my eyes, he has always been... enduring his suffer, caring for all people, treating everyone with respect. I have always believed, without a doubt, that the criticism he received from others all came from misunderstandings, that what I knew how he truly is. Now, you want me to believe, at once, that everything about this person is fake, that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers, that I was also a part of his plan and even helped him... Could you please allow me some more discretion before I make my own judgement?”

–Chapt. 64: Tenderness, exr

Wei WuXian understood now. Since ZeWu-Jun and LianFang-Zun had quite a good relationship, Lan XiChen had given Jin GuangYao a token of passage as well so that he could visit freely. However, it was likely that within the past few days he had either edited the prohibitions of the Cloud Recesses’ barrier or retracted the permission of Jin GuangYao’s token of passage.

–Chapt. 65: Tenderness, exr

Lan Xichen is in a tough spot: he’s never before been challenged in his perceptions of other people nor been forced to pick a side between those he loves. The only other dilemma that comes close to matching what he faces in uncovering Jin Guangyao’s treachery is the the morality behind Madam Lan murdering a Lan teacher, Qingheng-jun marrying Madam Lan who did not love him back to save her life, and he and the rest of the Lan Clan imprisoning her for the rest of her life while denying her the right to raise her children. Had Lan Xichen looked into this matter, his opinion on at least one of these three side–if not all of them–would be irrevocably changed, so he avoids this by simply not investigating the truth.

However in this murder investigation, he chooses to proceed with finding the truth. True, he doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring it, as this involves the death of someone close to him directly tied to another man that he is close to, with he, himself, acting as the linchpin tying them all together. Plus, this situation is much bigger than intra-clan politics and would have farther-reaching consequences. But when has that stopped any other clan leader from burying their heads in the sand and refusing to seek truth in favor of convenient assumptions? We watched everyone (Lan Xichen, included) throw Wei Wuxian to the wolves for simply not following cultivator etiquette, so it wouldn’t be anything new. Lan Xichen choosing to continue investigating shows a departure from his earlier mentality and, if not for his direct actions, the truth of Nie Mingjue’s death might have been harder to uncover.

And ultimately, this:

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

–Chapt. 64: Tenderness, exr

...is what gives me (minor) sympathy for Lan Xichen. He’s struggling so much in these chapters. He wants it to be easy to make a decision and pick a side and not be pulled in so many different directions by formerly coexisting but now conflicting allegiances (don’t we all), and it isn’t. It never will be, and he knows this. But he moves forward anyways, despite the difficulties in amending his worldview, of having to reevaluate a friendship he’s kept for almost two decades with a man who saved his life. He’s struggling, yes, but in the right direction, and that effort earns him some respect from me.

[rarepears]

Here’s the Fraternity Himbo!

So frat bro occasionally does in fact wear pink robes! He was actually transmigrated while wearing pink Frat robes and fuzzy slippers with Pokémon shorts!

The man is in his early twenties transmigrated to before LBH is born. A lot before actually.

He ends up in some random village, close to the demon realm where the villagers see him and immediately think he’s some terrible demon. Because he’s mixed and rather European. And maybe a little bit gay after he sees his first hot guy. But it’s totally because he wants to be bros.

So he’s in a Frat house going over what they should do to haze the next group drinking apple juice while the boys drink illegal alcohol (Frat Himbo accidentally made alcohol, he made a 50/50 sugar/fruit drink and left it in his room for a few days)

So he and the boys are in his alcohol smelling room and our Himbo, let’s give him an incredibly Himbo name that sounds like something scary in Chinese together.

He realizes he was supposed to turn something in for class and grabs his laptop and sprints to class. To turn in an online assignment. That saves and turns in automatically.

He’s studying childcare and wants to be one of those nanny/bodyguards that go to the academy. He thinks that rich people’s kids would get in trouble a lot and he’d get to save them or something.

He realizes this midway when someone stops him to ask him why he’s running in robes and slippers.

They stop him moments before truck-kun crashes inches in front of them.

“Whoa dude!” “Oh god what the f-“ “Kids here dude”

So our Himbo obviously goes to call the police and help the man out of the truck.

And the truck explodes moments after they get out, but he laid the guy down behind a tree so they’re fine.

He casually leaves once the police get there to get some snacks for the bros. And nearly gets killed in an alleyway after stepping in to save a girl.

Who was actually a murderer who got the tables turned on her and would’ve stabbed him if he accepted her kiss.

Himbo has not had his first kiss and wants to ‘save himself’ and also notices her dilated eyes and unsteady demeanor.

So of course he keeps her there till cops arrive. He called the police before stepping in. He’s a good citizen!

He gets his snacks at a store his friends work at and goes to the back to pick up the good snacks.

Moments after a robbery occurs where Frat Himbo once again calls the cops and leaves.

(You see all the tropes right?)

So he gets back to the house and casually dies SQH style. The one way he shouldn’t have died.

Turns out a few different systems wanted him isekaied and he would’ve gone to a different world depending on how he died. And accidentally gets sent to PIDW during the argument.

So back to PIDW he barely escapes angry villagers by having worn incredibly scandalous clothes.

“His ankles!” “I can see his knees!” “His legs are bare!” “Look at that collarbone…mm” “It’s a Demon come to tempt us!”

And so starts Himbo’s adventure in PIDW…

Well at least we would’ve started there if the world didn’t reset and turn into SVSSS, but at least our Himbo and our protag still have their memories.

So we end up with a (supposed to be) Isekai protagonist, transmigrator, and a now regression protagonist!

The sole intention of this is to mess with the system btw. (And by extension SY and SQH)

asdfghjhg I love the set up - the fact that so many systems want himbo fratbro?!

And now himbo fratbro - who's seen many awkward one night stands that his fellow fratmates went through after a night of drinking and thinks that's so awkward as fuck, like why bro are you doing that to yourself, you should find yourself a good fuckbuddy or two who knows the routine - ends up in PIDW with all the sex pollen. Don't worry, he's got this. He knows how to make his one night stands less awkward and not end so oddly. Everyone knows the bro-code and fistbumps, right?

[More in #a himbo fratboy in svsss au]

[itsalynx]

Fabric for Allodynia

Someone asked me once that if clothes hurt so much, why did I wear them when I didn't need to. Which is when I had to explain that air hurts and clothing, if it doesn't hurt, protects the skin from the painful air. The hard part is getting the right clothes.

Much like with skincare, the clothes that tend to work the best for me are natural fabrics. Much commerically made clothing contains microplastics that, with washes, tend to stiffen and become scratchy. These clothes are also often stitched with thread run with plastics for durability, but they have the same effect. I had a mother whose son is autistic ask me about why her son would wear clothes for a few washes and then suddenly complain that they hurt and I explained it was most likely that his seams were stiffening and can become unbearable. I recommended she oversew his seams with a soft, natural fabric.

I'm going to walk through a few things I have learned that work for me. I will say again that there is a lot of privlege wrapped up in these options in that I can afford these options. If you want to try this but find it outside your budget, I recommend picking one piece at a time, the ones you'll wear the most. That's how I built during the 10 years I had only disability to live on.

Silk

Silk is an amazing fabric for anyone who deals with skin issues but also for those with temperature regulation issues *raises hand*. Silk can be processed in a lot of different ways and those final dispositions touch the skin very differently. Raw silk, for example, is actually very uncomfortable for me because it has a rough finish. If you can go to a fabric store and touch fabrics to get a feel for the differences, do so and take notes.

The process for making silk washable has been expanded which makes it much more reasonable. Silk is a very tough fabric so it holds up well and is worth the investment if you can afford the outlay.

Silk, like most plant products, has no flexibility unless blended (and I try to avoid non-natural blends) so always pay attention to size and cut. I tend towards looser silk clothes because of this.

There are legitimate environmental concerns with silk (because the process kills the silkworms and the processing of the fiber can cause waste that is problematic if not properly managed). But because it lasts so long, I try to be as conscious as I can about purchasing and wearing things for their full life. And it makes my skin less angry.

Bamboo

This is my go-to fabric for most things. My pajamas are bamboo (mostly from Sandmaiden Sleepwear) and my yoga wear is bamboo (Freak LeChic). Bamboo breathes, it's soft, it washes well. I can wear it directly against my skin because it holds well. It can be dyed any color so you get range.

Plant fibers don't have memory, so they grow with wear, which is fine but good to be aware of. Bamboo does have stretch because of the process required to make bamboo wearable. And that process is where we run into the issue with bamboo. Again...it's environmental.

As a plant, bamboo is amazing - it grows all over the place and it grows fast with minimal work. But the fiber is stiff - think jute. The chemical process that makes it soft and flowing produces about 50% pure waste, which goes into the environment. This is the viscous process and applied to most bamboo fabric.

There are versions of processing that are harm neutral, but less common and more expensive. Keep an eye out.

Wool and Alpaca

Most people think wool and think scratchy but merino wool is incredibly soft. It has memory and stretch, it can be washed (if treated - we call it superwash in the fiber world), and dyed with natural or chemical dyes. It also breathes beautifully, which can make it an all weather fiber depending on how heavy the garment is. It's renewable for the entire life of the animal and the shearing process doesn't harm the sheepies - in fact, sheep that are not shorn regularly are under enormous strain. Wool has been the go-to fiber for clothing and textiles a very, very long time and there's a reason.

Alpaca is also an animal fiber, from the very soft and very pleasant alpaca. It doesn't have the same memory as wool, but it has more than plant fibers. It's heavenly and very warm. Like wool, it's renewable the lifetime of the animal and alpacas can live happy herd lives in areas untenable for sheep, like the deserts of Arizona.

I have recently found joy in compression socks when my feet and legs are hurting or for travel where the pressure plays havoc with my legs. The one from Pacas have been really great and held up well with washing and wear.

A Few More Shoutouts

Tencel (Lyocell) - this is actually a really cool fabric. Lyocell is a process, Tencel is a brand (there are others). The proces makes plant fibers soft, like viscouse, but without the waste and the really bad product. I'm trying to replace some of the above with those as I find them.

Cotton - I love cotton when it's good cotton. Soft and light and lordy can it stand up. The biggest challenge is that if you can't lay hands on it, it's hard to know what you're getting until you get it because there are so many qualities and weaves and cuts of cotton. 100% cotton should be soft to the touch and durable. Cotton can be water hungry so look for offsets and sustainable practices called out. I like the cotton items from pact and can speak highly of the tenacity of their t-shirts.

[raviniaraven]

Gah ok I'm stuck thinking about it now and I need to rant.

I'm begging y'all to rewatch the first Saw movie.

Without the frame of all the people calling it "torture porn" and without the much less effective sequels on your mind. Please watch it again, if you can get the director commentary watch that. Because it's genuinely a very good thriller.

Notice I didn't say horror or slasher or anything like that. Because the first Saw is a crime thriller. It's a movie about two men who have been kidnapped and are slowly trying to put together both how to get out of their situation and who did this to them.

As they are dealing with the situation, it delves into how people change under stress and pressure: the person that starts out calm and reasonable slowly breaks and acts more erratically, while the person that initially panics is the one to later suggest the more reasonable solutions. Because stress and imminent death change a person, and that was the whole point of Saw; not that imminent death will make you better, because that's the flawed mentality of the antagonist, but that imminent death or danger make people act differently than they normally would. The threat of dying makes people pull on instincts that they don't usually use, and they will do desperate things that they wouldn't otherwise do, whether that be a mother wrestling a gun away from a person threatening her and her child (which also happens in Saw), or a man cutting his leg off to try and get to help (a lot of people ignore that this offscreen moment happens directly after he thinks his wife and child are in danger, not just to help himself)

People seem to focus on the words of John (a terminally ill man that reacted to nearly dying in an unhealthy way, not helped by trauma to those close to him, and who is not a role model for dealing with these issues), and Amanda (a person that reacted to trauma in an equally unhealthy way and at least in the context of the first film seemed to think it made her a better person), but they seem to forget that we're not necessarily supposed to agree with them. There's a lot of people in the first film that look at these statements and go "yeah that's bullshit people are dying directly because of your actions", but no one mentions that. The second movie even mentions the whole "if you put a gun in someone's hand and point it at their head, you're still at fault if they pull the trigger", directly calling John out on his false savior bs. These are not people the movie is suggesting you emulate, they are damaged people reacting to trauma in an unhealthy way.

I can't defend this movie properly without mentioning the main reason people shit on it: the "gore". First of all, the first Saw isn't even very violent. There's a few very tame crime scenes, and two iconic scenes that mostly happen off screen. Both in Amanda's flashback and Dr. Gordon's breaking point, the main violence is primarily offscreen. Amanda killing her cell mate is mostly silhouette, and Gordon saws his leg off without the viewer so much as seeing the stump. Because the violence isn't the point, it's the reaction to the violence that's the point. The view shows the drugged cellmate's panicked eyes and Amanda sitting scarred in the police station, it shows Gordon's desperation and his cellmate's panic and terror at seeing that he was actually going to do it. The other crime scenes where the people died highlight that John is wrong: he thinks nearly dying makes people better, but 50% of the time it just makes them dead. Not to mention that tests like Amanda's that involve killing another person don't even give that person a chance, that's just murder by proxy. I can't stress enough that believing in Jigsaw's rhetoric is the number 1 way to miss the point of these movies. He's not seeing something deep in the human condition, he's just killing people and separating himself from the guilt.

I could go on. I might go on. I could write a full goddamn essay on this movie and how it focuses on the different ways people react to trauma (I didn't even get into the ex-cop that deals with his own injuries and the death of his partner by going full vigilante and causing more problems). Overall, I just wanna try and get people to at least attempt to rewatch the first Saw. It's a good crime thriller and it frustrates me that people treat the first one like some huge pointless gore fest.