#tho tbh it feels more like sex-ed

[aachria]

sooooooo lemme get this straight, coin has had ***SEX*** with THE KING OF THE **FUCKING** PIRATES AND HIS *FIRST* **FUCKING** MATE?! sigh... coin you actually slut/nm also, I personal head cannon of mine that I'd thought I'd share bc Im IGNORING CANON is that boa doesnt see Luffy as a love interest BUT INSTEAD AS HER SON, so she would try and make him like 'prince of the pirates'. I did see a post on Tumblr once that was like this but idk who the user is. ALSO ANOTHER HEAD CANON that will fucking ruin everyone's perception... ever since it was revealed that coin and Ed were Canadian, I did not hear them as like scott pilgrim Canadian. NO I MEAN FULL ON 'oh! good day to you oh, nice weather oh, here take 10 quid for your travels oh!' IM TALKING MOTHER FUCKING APOLOGIZING FOR EVERYTHING AND AND SAYING 'eh, oh, right'!! >:D

Look me dead in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't jump both of their bones if you spent every day confined to the same ship with those fine ass men. And don't you DARE lie to me.

The Boa seeing Luffy as her son take is interesting, and I definitely know which post you're talking about (I am NOT going and looking for it I do NOT have the time rn), idk if I will stray down that path tho.

I don't think I've ever had someone use Scott Pilgrim as their stereotypical Canadian accent example. Like yeah ik it's set in Toronto and Michael Cera is from Ontario so it's absolutely correct (and now that I think of it totally how I talk isn't it) but that's never been someone's go-to in any conversations I've had. (Might just be a me thing tho tbh. It's probs a lot of people's go-to.)

And babe. The sentence you just used. What the fuck was that. I expected some level of 'oh hey there bud, nice weather eh, wanna hit the Timmies? Ten minute walk I've got the toonies, no worries' ofc but good day to you? Quid??? Why are there so many oh's?????? Please what Canadians are you talking to???

To be fair, we already have the eh's and the right's and the sorry's with Ed because I write them how I talk even if you don't super pick up on it. Even the leaving the first word out of some sentences, like saying 'you ok?" instead of 'are you ok?' is an accent thing I Did Not Know I did until I was writing dialogue how I fucking speak. Wild.

Counter suggestion: just imagine them talking like Shoresy. The sheer incomprehensibility of them speaking like they're right outta Letterkenny.

(This is a joke and Ed does have a more Toronto-y accent but how much worse will you feel if I say Coin absolutely has Québécois family and that's just something you'll have to live with.)

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?

I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.

What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.

Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.

But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful

And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.

[starofhisheart]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

[shinayashipper]

⚠️ omegaverse AU

I think back of my own omegaverse AU haha 😂 my take on Omegaverse is kinda weird I think... it's kinda like this

Alpha - Usually the people in Charge of Everything. Holds Power. Top of the Food Chain. Society thinks very Highly of them. Usually from Rich Families and Respected Families. Got the Overwhelming Scent / Aura that Demands Respect out of you.

Beta - the "sidekicks". Majority of people are Betas. Usually sticks around Alphas / Loyal to Alphas. Many works for an Alpha or an Alpha's Company. Got pretty mild Scent / Aura that may got Sharper when they feel threatened.

Omega - sadly, the Lowest of The Food Chain as you can imagine. On this Modern Times, they aren't treated like Dirt anymore and society got formal education about them and many facilities for their needs, especially in big cities like Domino. On most days, their Scent / Aura is mild but they got the Heat period every few months and that's when they radiates The Scent(TM) that attracts mostly Alphas to- You Know. They can get Suppressants Pills / Injections after they reach 18 but it won't stop the Heat it will just let them be Less in Pain and for their Scent to be not as Strong.

Alpha-Omega is considered the traditional "Fated" Partners. They're like Soulmates. These days, people don't really care and most Alphas and Omegas prefer Beta as a partner because it's less "confusing". Still, when there's Alpha and Omega couple, people tends to Cheer on them.

And what I think my fave characterd would be:

Kaiba - Beta who Acts like an Alpha because of Circumstances (also explains how he got so Many Enemies in the business side of things because one of the reasons is people can't stand the idea of a mere Beta in charge 😂) (also I just love the idea of him acquiring the Power / Money / Company by gritting his teeth and endured Everything on his own instead of Handed it to him like how the usual Rich Alpha Families do) (on that note, Gzbr was Alpha and treated Seto like one) (I'm not sure would Mokie be Alpha once he presented or not. I feel like even if he's Alpha, Seto's still the one Leading)

Atem - Alpha. No question at all. When he's sharing body with Yugi he doesn't know / remembers tho. Yugi's body is Omega but he's Adjusting himself just fine as Yamiyu

Yugi - Omega who Acts like Alpha tbh 😂 was it because he got an Ancient King in his heart?? 😂 people tends to look down on him, which is <\3 in this AU, the second-genders got their own curriculum at school and students learn it formally at school, just like your biology and sex-ed classes. The Mutous are mostly Betas so Yugi learns more at school about it and how to take care of himself from the internet. Yugi's getting Supressants Pills as soon as he turns 18 because he Cannot stand the annoying Heat 😂(I think Grandpa got very big Alpha Energy tho... 🤔)

Jou - Beta. He wished he was an Alpha, but after meeting Yugi his perspective kinda changes and now he thinks your True Self is what you hold in Your Heart <3 people thinks he's Weird for being so loyal to Yugi who's an Omega and he's gonna Punch them in the face <3

Anzu - Beta. Her parents are the traditional Alpha-Omega couple that's just So Romantic and it made her believe in Destiny and Fated-ones so much. She's Upset when she knew she's a Beta because she thinks Betas got No Fated Love or whatever :( Anzu baby, Everyone deserves Love no matter their gender!! You are not Nothing!!

-

This AU got Rivalship but it's feat. Kaiba who- despite his efforts to be Unshakable- got Anxious because Yugi's an Omega and he's *just* a Beta and he just wallows in Angst that Doesn't Make Sense KAIBA-KUN YUGI *WANTS YOU* 😂😂

[jaskierx]

This is probably gonna be quite incoherent so bear with me lol. I see that your askbox has become a place to rant (and this one isn’t even gonna be about izzy!! But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!! Sorry in advance!!)

Anyway it’s been a relief to see other people in the fandom whose least favourite episode this season was ep 6. I always felt almost?? Mean for not liking it as much as everyone else seems to?? (and it’s not even that I dislike it!! It’s just my least favourite!) cause I feel like there was just too much going on for a single episode, everything went by too fast.

Anyway this isn’t about that it’s about ep 7 which most people seem to dislike. And I understand where people are coming from when they say that, I didn’t like it very much the first time I saw it! but after rewatching it yesterday for the first time since it aired I actually gained a lot of appreciation for it! I love the start and getting to see Stede and Ed be all domestic together!! (I’m a sucker for that shit) And I actually really love their fight too, just cause it shows us how much Stede understands Ed! He immediately notices that Ed is panicking and he responds so patiently even after being told that Ed thinks their night together was a mistake. Yes they said some hurtful things to each other but somehow I think that’s the least important part of that scene, at least to me. And it annoyed me when people kept painting Stede as the one in the wrong in their fight!! (Imo neither of them were in the wrong but that’s just personal opinion)

Where was I going with this? Basically I feel kinda alone in not liking ep 6 as much as everyone else and I think ep 7 is kinda under appreciated. Ahdgags I hope that made sense I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts towards media.

Screaming in your askbox cause I don’t wanna get too involved in the fandom myself cause it scares me lol. Thanks for posting good takes tho as always :) it helps me feel a little more sane

no i agree, ep6 is definitely one of my least favourite episodes (covered this a bit in my last ask). i didn't HATE it but it seems to do really well in polls about 'which ep is your favourite' and i just. do not vibe with it in the way that a lot of people do

and i agree that ep7 is underrated and i think that's bc it's objectively not a very feelgood episode and even though djenks had confirmed they'd end up together at the end, when it aired i saw loads of people worrying that they wouldn't get a happy ending at the end of s2, which i think has coloured people's perceptions of it

it's not a bad episode. it's a great episode tbh! we get their breakfast in bed (with twine for flourish) and 'hehe we didn't pay' and stede's newfound fame and his earring and zheng being really cool and frenchie and the gang getting their grift on and everybody's new favourite dearly departed side character steak knife (fly high with the angels king)

the argument itself is also really well written and feels so real (which definitely contributes to why so many people felt some kind of way about it) and manages to cover a bunch of irl relationship issues while still feeling right in the context of them being ye olde pirates - it's a beautiful realistic depiction of poor communication between people who love each other but not themselves and it gave me brainworms so i wrote a meta about it

but yeah overall the Main Event in ep7 is stede and ed arguing and ed leaving, so i get why a lot of people dislike it (or at least like it less than the other episodes) given that from ep3 onwards every episode has a big positive edstede moment (mermaid scene in ep3, 'i love everything about you' in ep4, 'you wear fine things well' and their kiss in ep5, being protective of each other and having sex for the first time in ep6, and obvs two beach kisses and 'i love you. i love you' and moving into their inn in ep8) (i nearly cried writing that out if you were wondering whether or not i'm normal about them)

[esmeislewd]

Hi so follow up to my ask from yesterday. First off I totally agree with you, communication is super key in any kink and assuming that someone would like something just bc you’re in the same kink is honestly a dangerous game no one should play. But in your tag you mentioned there were other issues too. Would you mind sharing them as well?

this is absolutely not a definitive list and not specific to any particular fetish or in any particular order:

-'barely legal' and 'teen' stuff is absolutely rancid for reasons i shouldn't have to explain.

-the unfortunate link between sex work (including online modelling) and human trafficking and sex slavery. a lot of people do sex work because they enjoy it but it's not always the case and we need to be careful with who and where we get content from and make sure everyone is being treated well.

-people appearing in content they didn't consent to be it deep fakes or revenge porn or whatever. this is obviously wrong and people absolutely shouldn't do this.

-the fetishisation of minority groups. the old joke about are you a straight cis white man or a porn category is unfortunately not really a joke tbh and a lot of the category names are pretty problematic. also this kind of content often propagates harmful tropes about the minorites in question.it's not acceptable to reduce an entire subset of people down into a kink!

-most porn is made for men, including a frustrating amount of 'lesbian' porn. this is both really frustrating as a viewer and also a woman that hangs out in online fetish spaces as a huge proportion of men that i encounter online see me as a product to get them off rather than another person. also as someone that wants to get more into content creation, i feel almost pressured to make stuff more broadly targeted in order to capture the male audience.

-the difficulty minorities have in building brands and monetising them in online spaces. i'm not a poc so can't say anything definitive on their behalf but what i have seen from especially black creators is they find monetising their content and brand harder than their peers. (very happy to be corrected on this tho)

-the near total lack of any form of safety/consent talk or disclaimers in any kind of edgeplay-related content. i'd like it in all content tbh but especially with things like cnc and more violent content. safety and consent is an important component of sex and given how absolutely dire sex ed is in most countries people learn a lot from porn and do not get a good education on the actual best practices they need to use.

i'm absolutely not an expert and would welcome actual experts to correct me and lend their opinions on this, but this is a non definitive list of major issues i've seen from my time online.

[vivislastdays]

𝒱𝒾𝓋𝒾'𝓈 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒷𝓁ℴ𝑔 𝐼

✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Hello, I'm Vivi and this is my first blog post. I haven't wrote a blog ever before so I'm really excited about this.

I have decited to divide this post into two part's since it's my first blog post. First I will tell you about me and this page and then I will tell you about my life recently.

𝑨𝒄𝒕 𝟏

The name "Vivi" comes from my second name. My actual name is Erika. I'm a teenage girl and english is not my first language. I love Arctic Monkeys, Deftones, Cigarettes after sex and Lana del rey. I also like many more artists and bands but those are my most listened to at the moment. I like to free dive and go snorkeling but I can do it only on summer since it gets really cold where I live. I have had depression and I'm currently fighting with ed (not Sheeran lol) I decited to create this blog where I can let out my feelings more. Iykyk. Kinda like a diary. I don't care that much if people actually read my blog posts because I'm doing this mostly for myself. But if I can also entertain you its a win win. The name "Vivi's last days" is not that deep and I just want to make sure that nobody thinks that I would end my life soon. These are not my last days atleast I hope so ♡

I will write this blog every saturday. Sometimes I might skip for personal reasons but I will try my best. In this blog I want to talk about my life maybe tell some storytimes and also just talk about the world situations. I'm not sure yet maybe I will also share some of my thoughts about deeper things. I will also upload pictures to this page also on saturday. The pics can really be anything from a pic of my cat to makeup tips. That's pretty much it ig. If you have questions feel free to ask them.

𝑨𝒄𝒕 𝟐

20.01.2024. Life has been okay for the last couple of weeks. I have been busy with my life since school started again after christmas break. Chirstmas was nice and tbh I really needed a break from school. You can probably relate. My eating has gone down hill tho. I eat about 200-500 cals per day. Aaaand I know that it is unhealthy but if I quit then I'm a quiter, right? I have lost about 3 kg in a week and I'm happy about it. I have a plan to lose 8 kg more and then start eating normally again. I know that it will be hard but I also know that I can do it. I got this. Maybe next week I will talk about something more positive.. But thats it for this week. Take care of yourselfes. Love ya byeeee ➜

[butchviking]

About losing followers though… I know a lot of people in these spaces don’t want to want the procedures but still have gender dysphoria, sex dysphoria, and/or body dysmorphia (including ED origin) who just cannot stand to hear or see anyone talk about getting top surgery because it sets them off.

Unfollowing for many may be less a negative comment on you and more a personal choice for them. I know I considered it and eventually decided I was in a stable enough place and it would be good for me to see your different choices and thoughts and ground myself step by step in how they don’t need to influence me, make me get stuck thinking about it, etc.

My own body dysphoria around my chest has gone down mostly to this rare rare low point from a lot of different interventions between trying out not wearing a bra and doing tanks instead to addressing my body issues around fat to quitting disparaging remarks and working out core muscles instead of feeling “weird and lumpy” about myself or seeing removing the “offending parts” as the solution to my sensory issues and troubleshooting harder. No idea if any of that makes sense but on the off chance it helps anyone there it is.

Again best of luck no matter what

oh no i know i was just being silly! i am not offended by losing followers on tumblr.com i promise u <3 i know many of them may not want 2 see these conversations fr personal reasons, & tbh any time im posting a lot & losing followers i kind of just assume its mostly a case of 'hey, what's she talking about now? didnt i follow this blog for feminist posts like 3 years ago? all she talks about now is weird shit and my chemical romance. im out.' lmao

thank u fr sharing yr experiences tho; i hope its helpful to some ppl reading. there really are a lot of other ways 2 cope w dysphoria i want 2 be very clear on that, extreme measures aren't the right call for everyone nd there's often much better, safer ways to manage.

[blackflcgs]

sex stuff about ed cause why not:

he’s a vanilla cupcake tbh. he’s into receiving mild pain if the mood is right, but isn’t into hurting his partners at all. in fact the latter can upset him & weigh on him emotionally. he’ll do it if asked but doesn’t particularly enjoy it

ed’s really into pleasing his partners so he’s down to try most things at least once

likes restraints, whether it’s being restrained or being the one using them. not really an all the time thing but finds it super sexy as a treat

big fan of giving and receiving dirty talk as long as it isn’t anything degrading. his feelings would get super hurt big time if he was talked down to or felt degraded during sex & when he’s giving dirty talk it’s pretty much always praising the other person and/or directing them

ed would probably call himself a switch but in practice he leans more towards topping, mostly b/c he’s bossy as fuck in bed & likes giving orders/commands to his partners

he does very much enjoy getting a good pounding tho

big fan of hand and mouth stuff which is how he usually has sex cause he sadly doesn’t have a lot of stamina with penetration r.i.p. he gets too excited about it and blows his load poor guy

he’s pretty “easy” for lack of a better term. hooking up isn’t really a priority for him but he gives it up quick when he really likes a guy and “really likes a guy” happens fast and often for him

[doriana-gray-games]

Hungry tumblr anon (or i guess non-hungry tumblr would be more fitting lol) the og question was how the ROs would react if Sherlock told them that they are a vrigin and admitting they were afraid!

👍👍👍💖 nice! Okay, I’ll answer it for Adler because I assume that was your favourite RO 💖 *it might be a thing in the game also, but not sure if it will be exactly like this*

**I think I went ahead of myself and basically answered how the first time would go, and only now realise that is not exactly what you asked 😅 hopefully this is still okay 👍

Despite Adler usually being brusque and sexually forward they can also be kind and gentle. It would also not be the first time they have been with a first timer. They would handle it well and with respect—even if Adler is not yet in love with the MC. Tho love would probably change the dynamic some.

I think they would dial back their sexual flirting a bit if they found out MC was a virgin, it wouldn’t stop, but toned down.

I think maybe Adler would show a little more additional caution towards a virgin feMC, than a maleMC (not sure yet how sexual stuff will be coded for non-binary MC). This mostly because of it being the 1800s, and that being a bigger deal in that case. More care would perhaps go towards appeasing the moral/religious aspect if that is what is scaring the MC, rather than the possible physical fear (or emotional or boundaries).

They would take their time (which they usually do tbh). They would explain as they go. They would have instructed the MC on different ways they can signal to stop the act, and if that occurred they would do so immediately.

If this was very early on in the relationship, meaning Adler has no emotional feelings of love or attachment—at best attraction and some respect—then they would consider it a conquest, and the fun would be in the success of “scoring” the MC, which would also mean that the goal is not in their own pleasure, but in the MCs. Any further meet-ups and that might change tho. And if Adler is in love, the focus would be on the MC because they want that for the MC, especially on their first time.

[mithliya]

Probably a stale take but i hate how a lot of radblr sees questioning or being confused your sexuality as inherently bisexual, "bc if ur strictly OSA or SSA theres nothing to be confused about!" Like ok cool but i still dont know what im //attracted// to lol 💀 "oh its just who you want to have sex with!" Well i WANT/ED to self harm normally too so how do i know if i wanted to engage in hardcore kink with men twice my age bc i was genuinely attracted to gross old men or bc i just wanted to self harm in more extreme ways and liked being praised for it.

Lol. Anyway. Sorry if this is TMI im just struggling rn ngl. Like "am i repulsed by dick/men bc im traumatized AND live in a society where men are objectively shit and hetero sex/relationships suck for all women, and this is just what OSA feels like, or because i was never //attracted// to them in the first place and thats why i only wanted violent kink with men and "vanilla" with girls and women around my own age?". Anyway. Maybe im just dumb as dirt

they do??? but anyways its def not a simply bisexual experience. i was confused for a very long time but when i realised i was a lesbian i felt dumb as hell bc it was literally so obvious from as far back as i can remember. most lesbians i know also went thru a point where they were confused or thought they couldnt be lesbians bc xyz and even many het women went thru long periods confused about their sexuality as well. it happens and i wish we just somehow knew our sexualities from day 1 bc while that comes with cons (i feel like being closeted when u know the truth is harder than simply lying to urself tbh) its probably ultimately better than the confusion.

also a lot of what u mentioned sounds v much like a traumatised woman experience to me (also a closeted one, not saying ur les or bi tho but just that i also literally didnt know wtf attraction was and would talk about how i Dont Get It and Dont Understand all the time). its confusing figuring out ur sexuality to begin with but i feel like its even more confusing when u also have trauma to cope with which also likely influenced ur behaviour and feelings. i struggled with figuring out whether it was just trauma or my sexuality too and in the end after thinking thru everything n thinking before the trauma i was like. this cant just be trauma

ur not dumb btw. that shit is confusing and many traumatised women esp traumatised SSA women (this goes especially if u were traumatised from a young age) struggled to figure ourselves out for similar reasons.

[aro-thoughts]

Hehe I just remembered how, back in high school, when we were first learning sex ed, nowhere in the teacher's explanation did they say it was pleasurable, or would ever happen only for pleasure - the only thing I took from the lesson was that that's where babies come from. Yet they still made us learn about condoms and we did the whole putting a condom on a test tube thing. I feel like I might have been the only one in the class who didn't know it was pleasurable tho. It actually sounded very painful and not at all pleasurable tbh, and I thought if I ever tried to have children I would dread the whole thing or probably just adopt.

I also remember that I thought my parents only ever had sex twice for that reason: once for my sister and again for me (they did always say we were both planned). Then my mom told me they did it more than twice and I got a bit confused but just accepted it cuz people are confusing.

I have a much better understanding of why people enjoy sex now but only theoretically. I can't imagine someone actually having both the knowledge and the energy for all of that, let alone knowing how to actually go about starting it or finding someone to do it with.

It's something I'd like to do one day for science but I imagine it'll take a long time before that ever happens because I have zero options.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

I like your Stede being bad at sex head canon the best.

trying to figure out the timeline and im pretty sure u sent the ask after this reblog, so before @wearfinethingsalltoowell and i started bouncing dialogue that was incredibly mean to stede back and forth

anyway THANKS lmao but idk which headcanon specifically u were talking abt bc i think i mentioned a few possibilities. tbh i don’t actually have a set headcanon for if i think stede (or ed) is good or bad at sex?? i like whichever version a fic wants to give me as long as it's written well. stede is an enigma of contradictions and this is one of the many areas where it could honestly go either way! maybe stede is secretly a sex wizard with loads of molly house experience. maybe stede is gonna power through with all the ill-deserved self-confidence he had in the republic of pirates. maybe stede knows nothing about gay sex but one evening he’s just gonna sit down and study ed's body from head to toe and learn how ed responds to his touch with extremely thorough trial-and-error and they'll both end up discovering new things about what ed likes. who knows!

the only thing i AM sure of when it comes to the blackbonnet sex life is that it just gets better and better because ~communication~ babeyyyy. being "good at sex" is kind of a myth bc what works for some people wont always work for others, yknow? obviously having more experience gives you a better idea of what to do, which makes u more confident and less awkward (which is kind of necessary in order for sex to get better) but for basically any couple there's gonna be a learning curve where both parties need to tell each other about what they like or dislike and what's working or not working

so how ed and stede's first time(s) go(es) rlly just depends on if they start fucking like, right when stede gets back and they haven't talked yet, or if they take it really slow and learn how to communicate before they start having sex. altho communicating abt feelings and communicating abt sex can be two different types of scary so i guess i CAN see a version where one or both of them is biting their tongue abt some aspect of their sex life they’re unhappy with. they get over that fear eventually tho and then they have life-affirming sex for the rest of their lives

[myladyofmercy]

young royals rewatch

episode 4

out of the darkness and in to the light

is the dirt thing a swedish tradition?

not even at his brothers funeral wille can really cry

love hiw the credits are slow and empty in this episode

i would hate to gave my grief be televised to the nation

that kitchen/dinner table looks way to simple for a royal family doesn't it?

is that the first time his dad speaks?

the queen choking on her food. pls choke and die.

i hate how noone has any phone cases on tv shows. you could include so much more personality with that

did linda find the old letter or did simon get send a new one because he didn't pay yet

august definitely has body issues and possible ed

you can pause a chess game at any time that was unnecessary

wille needs his brothers? he just lost his real brother! fuck of august

the blue scarf of sadness

is that the dame tie as he wore during the statement in ep1?

august you insecure little shit

wille wears more hair products when he's trying to be composed (now and later before christmas)

okay did simon know remember was eriks favorite song or was it accidentally? did wille tell him?

why is the soloist always standing in the back row tho? shouldn't he be front and center?

that chandelier looks fake as fuck tbh

pink hair girl supremacy

i wonder what the official speech looked like?

blue and red contrasting colors

simon looks like a kicked puppy

willes new room. i made a whole post aboit that.

empty bed. empty heart.

i wanna hug wilhelm

why was his bed lamp on already if they just came into the room?

malin talks

panic attack incoming

i wonder what happens if you call the number?

flashbacks

negative energy i banish thee

need more wille and felice friendship in s2

why wasn't mickes door locked?

love the green walls tho

poor simon

i have no clue what all those pills say

oh no. straight sex.

he's wearing socks. she's wearing a shirt.

augusts psychosexual obsession with his second cousin. someone should tell freud about this. he would prob have a blast

was it royal?

yes give the guy who owes you money more stuff

also did he sell them for so much money he still had drugs left for the party?

love it everytime maltes curls come out

no unnecessary miscommunication i love it

love that linda saw them hug. yeah your daughter has a friend now!

august is so insecure

erik wasn't your brother he was wilhelms so fuck off

dump him

malin mvp

wille again with the pinterest lights

why isn't simon eating at the dinner table tho?

good soup

i still don't know what augusts motive was? like what did he expect to happen if sara told felice? or did he hope she wouldn't do it? and just have it be awkward between them?

still willes bedlamp is on

they propped the note up against the frog

love the acting in the confrontation scene with simon and micke

för min och saras skull. there is that word again

alexander is like an excited puppy

also where is that random building they're always going to? like does it belong to the school or is it just empty and unused?

dead poets society vibes but with much more toxic masculinity

he's getting eriks old place in the society. nice :/

love the representation of both kinds of party. the dancing one in ep1 and now the sitting around a table and playing games one

wille isn't the first born. he doesn't want to be either

love the scene where wille smiles at vincent

where did the drugs he slipped in his pocket go? lisa i need answers

the longest piss in the history of television. both wille and august should see a doctor

also they are talking about their feelings with their dicks in their hands i can't

football field here we go

playing drunk and high must be so much fun

i wanna see all the takes for this scene

also i love that it started snowing accidentally. it gives the scene that much flavor

speaking of flavor. hello astroturf

love that simon really did delete willes number

did wille remember simons number or was it still saved in recently contacted or smth?

elias i love you

the face touching probably reminds simon of micke

du är så fin

the hug!!!

i wonder how long they took to get back to hillerska

there was another bed simon did you know that

why is wille shirtless? did he throw up on himself

the loud breathing again

spooning

that track isn't on the soundtrack is it?

jag tycker om dig också

this seems kind of fruity to me ngl

the shaky ass grab

they're not even pulling their pants of properly those horny little shits

fuck off august

love the little ouch

it's going down. I'm yelling timber

fuck off august

i love the soundtrack so much

[hazelcephalopod]

The Great Hunt Ch 17-18

Difficult returns, arrival, and moving towards something greater but likely at great cost.

Gets a little bit heavy in Ch 18.

Disclaimer: this is my first read thru but I’ve watched all of the show thus far and been spoiled on some book things. So… I’m going to lean into that. Enjoy figuring out what I know, and what I think I know, and what I just don’t. Also s/x I add commentary when I edit.

Spoilers for the first and second book and all of season 1 under the cut. Potential spoilers for later books -idk if they’re light spoilers or not.

Ch 18: Choices

Glyph stone

POV Rand

Time to run!

Oh fight? Uhhh

Oof he’s not doing well is he?

So the Power? Ta’veren? Or just being that good an archer. Just unnervingly perfect

Oh the grolm are dead. All five. All Rand’s arrows. Straight int the center eye

“The void held Rand. The light called to him, and he. . .reached. . .toward it. It surrounded him, filled him.” -(Rand) using the void to shoot. Feeling the magics call and unable to resist

Huh. Easier to use the Oneness the more to use it. That sounds familiar

“He still wanted to, he realized with horror. He wanted to go back into the void, wanted to feel that light filling him again. It had seemed as if he were truly alive then, sickliness and all, and now was only an imitation. No, worse. He had been almost

alive, knowing what "alive" would be like. All he had to do was reach out to saidin. . .” -(Rand) having touched the Power in the void. Yup. Addictive

Interesting these creatures haven’t been an issue until very recently. Or suspicious when it’s the same time Selene showed up

It would be quite a feat to use that stone or kill all the grolm. A magical one even

“She must be able to channel, even if she doesn't know it, or it couldn't have brought her here.” -(Rand) thinking to himself at the Portal Stone.

Smooth and oily stone columns?! In this series?

“The light was all. The heat and the light…” -(Rand) accessing saidin

They was fucking good. The way that the taint of saidin makes it all that harder to embrace, while saidin still draws the channeler in. Very horrific

He did it! Or, at least, he brought them somewhere very much like home

Oh ffs lol. They do not, but I still enjoy the joke

He is possibly correct about Mat tho

Correct sir

I’m guessing the Two Rivers sex Ed is wanting at best

Oh continuing west then cool

Oh fuck! He smelled a future trail? That is kinda weird but very cool

That… wil be something to explain. ‘Yea we got teleported to this alternate world and then it warped space and we got here using these strange ancient stone portal things. And also we met this lady’

‘Oh and Fain is over there. Or will be very soon’

May or may not be a red flag as much as I do actually like Egwene personally

19: To the White Tower

TFoTv

POV Egwene

Ah yea seasickness sucks. Poor Nynaeve (Editors note. It gets worse for her. So that’s great /s)

At least people believe her about the dreams even if they don’t offer solutions

Ohhh she’s getting Balzo dreams now. That is unfortunate

Curious she can see his eyes sometimes. I’m not sure if Rand has

Siuan herself is doing tutoring tonight. (I soon learn to dread that)

Lol. Nynaeve ‘if it weren’t for this stupid boat and seasickness I would disobey so much!’ (I later learn she shoulda just gone and liked on the deck tbh)

I think Nynaeve should be allowed to learn the sword. I hope one day she does!

I think Moiraine personally. Or really a number of people not a singular someone. Maybe Cenn Buie

But can you use that air sword as a weapon at will? No. You can’t. Steel sword tho? Yes!

Now we’re talking. Kn*fe

This is a good lesson tho ‘take care. The magic is addictive’

“Please keep a check on you temper.” -(Egwene) thinking her hope for Nynaeve’s behavior rn. Lmao

Hold person! Via control air

They could do what in the AOL? I mean… I suppose controlling air might allow that ability

Interesting that how they flew isn’t clarified.

Apparently you can’t do that trick on yourself. Tho I don’t get why you couldn’t like make the hard air as stairs and platforms. Make like a surfboard to fly on ya know?

So Nynaeve can only use magic when she’s angry. Rage wizard

Oh is that the first shielding?

I’m… not going to analyze that but too much. There is so much I could probably get from it tho (Editor me. I lied. I will go into it a bit. It is fucked)

Oh Egwene always prepared to break the rules as long as she doesn’t get in trouble

The manipulative tactics do irk me.

… oh. Well that’s devastating to read tbh

Wtf? That’s fucked

No. Don’t do that to anyone else

No one should be going thru that

Hey! They made it to TV!

Lace bridges and Shining Walls. And Dragonmount

“Dragonmount, made by the Dragon’s dying. Egwene wished she did not think of Rand when she looked at the mountain.” -(Egwene)

Huh. People cheering for the Aes Sedai is quite an different rxn. But does make sense. Do like kinda (at least, it’s a refreshing change)

Hello strange person probably an Aes Sedai

Oh it’s Sheriam.

So Nynaeve will be an Accepted but taught like a Novice basically it sounds like

40 novices right now? That is indeed minuscule. And 8-9 make it to Accepted so… let’s say 8.5. That’s 21% graduation rate or whatever.

Well this is some of the most and most straightforward information ever thus far. ‘So we don’t get many and very few make it. But we will work you hard to make sure you can be successful as a full Sister’ I can respect that honesty at least

But. Nynaeve makes a point about why does it have to be that hard tho

No but like. That was not ok -what Siuan did to Nynaeve, that’s assault. There was no excuse for that I’m sorry. But I don’t give a shit about any explanation. That was wrong. I’m not saying it was an unacceptable part of the plot and shouldn’t have been written but it was wrong. The end.

Well onto the next chapters later.

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.