aro-thoughts

[aro-thoughts]

if you infantilize me for being asexual i'm straight up killing you. and when i strew your intestines across the ground like a macabre piece of art and soak myself in blood and gore i'll earn myself that explicit label don't you worry

[aro-thoughts]

i will never understand the emphasis society places on romantic relationships. why is the ideal future always portrayed as living with your significant other in a happy, committed, romantic relationship? why is there a whole holiday dedicated towards romantic love? i've heard so many people i know say that they're so lonely because they aren't in a romantic relationship, and i can't help but wonder how are they lonely with so many friends around them? so many things have become romanticized to the point where people no longer think it's socially acceptable to do them with friends. maybe people would feel less lonely then if it was normal to hold hands with people, to give them your sweaters, to lay together on the couch while watching a show. human connection is so so so important. i will never understand how is it that in a world full of love, we only seem to idolize one part of it.

[aro-thoughts]

this is really weird but part of my aroace experience is viewing allo people like a scientist would view a living specimen in an experiment

its like. they do something and i observe and note their behavior. i know this sounds super fucked up but here is something that happened today:

my sister was showing me her texts from her boyfriend and he was saying stuff like "if u want i can spray a shirt with my cologne to give to u" or "i'll give u my hoodie to wear"

and i just looked at her and said "people exchange clothes because they like each others scent? fascinating." and i felt like a freaking scientist observing a new species' behavior. i promise its not as weird as it sounds. im not uncomfortable with romance/sex (for other people), i just have no idea how it works.

im curious do any other aspecs have experiences like this? or is it just me?

[aro-thoughts]

honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.

[aro-thoughts]

*romantically calls you dude*

[aro-thoughts]

its fucking crazy how regularly people on this website who really earnestly consider themselves Radical and Progressive vitriolically mock polyamorous people

[aro-thoughts]

Start your story with the word aromantic

[aro-thoughts]

Retro Style Pride Flag Shirts from Sabor a Libertad

Trans // Queer // Bi // Lesbian // Genderfluid // Nonbinary

Genderqueer // Pan // Aromantic // Asexual // Poly

[aro-thoughts]

this is by far the best explanation of how asexuality and sexual attraction works

[aro-thoughts]

Aro & Ace Ramen

[aro-thoughts]

i'm ace, i'm asexual, i don't experience sexual attraction, i wear an ace ring on a regular basis, i have an asexual pride flag, i have asexual pride merch, the ace flag is in my profile picture, i've identified as asexual for 10+ years, asexuality is my oldest queer identity, i talk a lot about being ace because it's part of who i am and affects my every day life, i'm proud to be ace, i'm ace and taking up space, i'm ace and in your face, i will never shut up about being ace, i didn't suffer through ace discourse to stay silent about asexuality. they haven't bullied me into silence then and they won't do it now. i'm the exact amount of asexual that offends you personally.

[aro-thoughts]

i’m not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs

[aro-thoughts]

decided I’m going to start saying “there’s no romantic explanation for this” when talking about fictional characters

[aro-thoughts]

Here's me begging people again to learn the difference because I've been seeing more and more people confuse these terms when discussing some things in the ace community:

Sex-Favorable - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being fine and even enthusiastic in engaging in sex and other sexual acts. Often confused by some as Sex-Positivity.

Sex-Positive - A moral or political position that refers to a positive outlook on sex as something positive and something that should not be shamed for any consenting persons regardless of their own personal feelings towards sexual acts on themselves.

Sex-Indifferent - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being indifferent in engaging in sex and other sexual acts.

Sex-Neutral - A moral or political position that refers to an indifferent outlook on sex. They may not have strong feelings about it one way or another.

Sex-Averse - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being averse in engaging in sex and other sexual acts. Often confused by some as sex-repulsion.

Sex-Repulsed - A descriptor that refers to a person's personal feelings about engaging in the act of sex that specifically refers to them being repulsed or disgusted by thoughts or material related to sex. This has no bearing on their own political/moral position on sex. Often confused by some as Sex-Aversion or even Sex-Negativity.

Sex-Negative - A moral or political position that refers to a negative view on sex as something negative and something that should be forbidden and only be a means of procreation. Some people who are sex-negative may only view it as a way to procreate so people who engage in the activity without any plans of procreation (and especially members of the queer community) may be deemed as immoral or even evil.

If we're going to have proper discussions of these things, please please please can we use the proper terms. I need to stop feeling fight or flight whenever I see someone trying to vent about "some rude sex-positive aces" or see someone proclaim that they're "sex-negative" like I'm serious. I keep on having to double-take whenever I have to read posts and discussions because of this.

[aro-thoughts]

decided I’m going to start saying “there’s no romantic explanation for this” when talking about fictional characters

[aro-thoughts]

When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.