aro-thoughts

[aro-thoughts]

Alloaro knight who fucks their charge out of duty to keep them satisfied and mutual lust but if you ask them if they’ll ever confess less than professional feelings of romantic affection, they’ll just respond with the dignified version of “what the FUCK are you talking about” and challenge you to a duel

[aro-thoughts]

are other things ever jilted or is it just ex-lovers?

[aro-thoughts]

"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

[aro-thoughts]

Analog horror series about your friend getting a boyfriend

[aro-thoughts]

Polycule but it’s just two people in a romantic relationship with each other and their third who’s pretty obviously aroace but also somehow so deeply intertwined in their lives that it’d just be wrong to not count them as involved. Is this anything.

[aro-thoughts]

Dear author

About the post you reblogged about people masturbating reading smut fics.

I am asexual. I feel uncomfortable at thinking about me in any sexual situation, I don’t experience sexual attraction, I don’t wish to experience sex with anyone. Watching pornographic films of photography are only aesthetic exercises for me in the best case, or a sad exercise about labor laws and feminism in the worst case.

But when reading smut I can access those experiences of the human senses. I can experience pleasure without having anything to do with it, in fact is the only way I can. I don’t have to worry about anything and is just fun.

How can I explain how much that means?

People talk about their “sex lives” so I suppose smut writers help me have that “life”. I really appreciate it.

I feel comfortable, I feel like I am enjoying that possibility of my body and I don’t feel “left out” of the sexual scene. I feel like an adult and not “prudish” (nothing wrong with that)

I just… I feel so human thanks to smut fics. And I wanted to express how thankful I am for that

Fellow ace high five!

[aro-thoughts]

I want old aros so badly. I want a history. I want a future. I want tales of lives that I understand. I want to see myself in a future where I’m happy and comfortable.

But I don’t have that, so I��ll have to build it.

[aro-thoughts]

My opinion is that sex is like... a normal body function and I think it's weird to say somebody is a good or bad person or a loser or a cool guy or whatever based on how much sex they have. whether its a lot of sex or no sex at all. attaching moral judgement to how much sex you have feels like judging someone based on how often they go to the bathroom

[aro-thoughts]

Sometimes i think, or wonder if a random person out there thinks, why do I talk so much about asexuality on here especially when I've objectively been treated worse for the other identities I have and antiblackness has/will tear my singlet more than acephobia. It's mainly because of being the change you wish to see. Generations of Black activists, and theorists going back to my ancestors are the reason I'm here today. Generations of Black lesbian feminists and studfemme lesbians are why I knew where to turn when I realised I like women. But Black asexual frameworks are new. Black asexuals aren't new, but our visibility is.

The ace community as a collective has taken decades to reach visibility and most of that visibility is still white. It's great to find sources from the 70s, 60s and even 1800s about asexuality but I cant help but notice there's barely any sources like these for Black aces (or any ace of colour). And then I remember the systemic racism of these periods and how Black people weren't accepted on the basis of being Black let alone Black and queer. And then I think about the older Black aces Ive met who never knew the term existed until recently and were essentially Black aces of "the past" but because they never knew, it couldn't have been recorded. How many generations of Black ace or aro people have there been that we'll never know about? So much Black ace text I find is 2020s, 2010s at the earliest. Yasmin Benoit, Marshall Blount, Kimberly Butler, Sherronda J Brown, Ianna Hawkins Owen and more are essentially creating something that has never been recorded before in history. And that's so important. And it's kinda wild I get to be a part of that? We all do? All the posts and thoughts we share are making it known that Black asexuality does exist and we are in this community and no this isn't a sexuality "for white people"

I hope the next generation can look back at all the Black asexual texts, books, pdfs, posts and zines in the 2020s and see themselves represented in the way we never were growing up, but wishing that that we were.

[aro-thoughts]

The poly+aro+ace community is small so I love when I find other people who share my identities! Just started a blog for writing about all these things, esp how the aro/poly communities reject amatanormativity. It starts with a framework for defining platonic partnership. I think you'd like it! https://lovequeer.substack.com/

That sounds amazing!!! I love the sound of it, I'll give it a look right away!!!! ^^

[aro-thoughts]

do you know what community does this flag represent?

[aro-thoughts]

Does the idea of having to talk to your (hypothetical or real-life) boyfriend/girlfriend/partner every day stress you out no matter how much romantic desire you feel for them? Just the idea of that kind of maintenance required to date someone and keep interest going

[aro-thoughts]

i love you polyamorous relationships, open relationships, friends with benefits/friends that have sex with each other, queerplatonic relationships, friendships that have some weird queer element to it, relationship anarchy, staying single and i love anything that doesn't match what society considers "normal"

[aro-thoughts]

in general if you want to enjoy your ships and romantic interpretations of character dynamics without running into the territory of amatonormativity and casual fandom arophobia i think a good standard approach is if you’re going to refer to the dynamic you see as romantic, there’s just no need to bring the idea of friendship or platonic relationships into it at all! i talk a lot about how people get very habitually and jokingly mean about nonromantic relationships in a way that’s really hurtful and upsetting to me as an aromantic person, and people often get very defensive in response, how it was just a joke, it’s not that deep, it’s just shipping, etc. so my best advice if you want to continue enjoying your ships and jokes and lighthearted fun in fandom without hurting aros and others who value nonromantic relationships, just stick to uplifting what you like, and not bringing up alternatives at all!

comments like “they were so in love here” or “they’re soooo gay for each other” or “this was so romantic” might be annoying to me on the basis of standard affection or care or whatever else, but that’s a me problem and there’s nothing harmful or wrong about it. just don’t bring platonic relationships or friendships into it, because at that point that’s where the shitty behaviour arises, because that’s where the purpose is almost always to put them down in comparison. i.e. “there’s no platonic explanation for this” or “who looks at a friend like that” or “sure they’re juuuust friends [based on some degree of intimacy or care or concern etc]”

you can have fun and enjoy your ships and make lighthearted jokes and posts without being amatonormative and casually arophobic!! it’s perfectly possible and easy. when in doubt you just don’t need to reference nonromantic relationships in your ship posts at all. celebrate what you enjoy! don’t put down what you don’t.

[aro-thoughts]

As someone who's been a lover of traditional folk music from the British Isles for several decades, one thing I've learned is that "True Love" didn't always mean what you think it means. In the older songs, "true love" is not some mystical quality, some type of connection that is magically better than other Loves. No. A love that is "true" merely means that your Love is "true TO YOU." "True" as in faithful and loyal and trustworthy. A lover who will stand by you and with you no matter what comes. True the way a good sword is True. True the way a good knight is loyal. The contrast is "False Love," which is a lover who betrays you, who cannot be trusted.

"True Love" isn't something you find, it's a vow and a choice that you make, every day, to BE TRUE.

[aro-thoughts]

enemies to lovers but it's me and myself

[aro-thoughts]

I just think dating is a scam like 90% of the time. Joker voice And I'm tired of pretending it's not