#this wasn't suppose to be so long lol

[inkskinned]

you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!

you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.

but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.

so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.

part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.

any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.

(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)

good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.

so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)

you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.

okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.

oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.

[caffichai]

@praxinas warlock Harlow, for the very last day of Artfight 2023!

I love the Eliksni armor from Season of Splicer and the aesthetic, just in general

[flamestar126]

Don't let the robot teach you Irken

(Click for better quality)

[loverofpiggies]

I STUMBLED ACROSS YOUR FIONNA AND CAKE COMIC AND WAS LIKE 'WOW THIS IS SO GOOD I SHOULD FOLOW THE PERSON MAKING THIS' AND THEN I LOOK AND I SEE LOVEROFPIGGIES!??!??? I USED TO FOLLOW YOU BACK IN YOUR UNDERTALE DAYS THIS IS SO SURREAL TO ME

HA HA YO WELCOME BACK TO MY HUMBLE LITTLE BLOG OVER HERE!!! you're not the only one who said that! I hope you enjoy what I got planned, it's gonna get nuts!

[cantdealwiththisnow]

Part 1 - Appreciation post for all the TFP universe Autobot mugshot cameos (known and unknown) in RID2015 3x25 (even if the context is that they've been OUSTED against their will)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

angel neil pls! 🌟

WIP Wednesday (4/24) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 172)

“I graduated on May 11th.”

“As in six months ago May 11th?" Andrew asks, in disbelief. "This year?”

“Yep,” Neil nods, the barest hint of a smile on his face. God, that’s so depressing. Neil’s life ended before it could even begin. But if he graduated a year after Andrew…

“I guess that makes you what? Eighteen?” Andrew asks. When Neil nods, Andrew asks, “When’s your birthday?”

“Why?”

Andrew shrugs. "You know mine."

“Take your pick." Neil starts. "Chris’ was September 14th. Stefan, June 23rd. Alex, December 9th. Jackie was August 4th, but I wasn’t him for long. I’ve had a few in February, one on Valentine’s Day, even—”

Andrew holds a hand up. “I want the real one.”

Neil works his jaw a couple times before answering, “January 19th.”

“And what name was attached to that date?”

“Ronald McDonald,” Neil answers immediately. It’s not that funny, but mixed with his meds it makes Andrew cackle so hard he ends up coughing. (Damn, maybe he should listen to Kevin and stop smoking. Nah.) Andrew lines himself out before Neil can start angel CPR or something. Oh, what an idea that is.

“Classy. Though, you look more like the Hamburglar to me.”

“Thanks a lot.” Neil says with a snort. Andrew regards him for a moment. How can a man have gone by so many names? Wouldn't he have gotten them confused? Instead of asking that, Andrew has a different question.

"I already know your father's last name. Why can't I have-"

Neil worries his bottom lip. “Because I hate it."

"Why?"

"I just do. I mean, it's not the worst thing my father ever did to me, but it's up there. I can give you my middle name, if you want it." Neil says. Andrew does, so he nods. After a couple seconds, he gets a quiet, "It's Abram."

[sskk-manifesto]

Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread

[hikeyzz]

i'm 26 now!!!! i made it to 26!!!! i made it to my late 20s!!!! i'm growing up & growing old!!!!! i'm so lucky!!!!!!!

[sysig]

Let me chew you out a little, since we have a couple minutes (Patreon)

[Panel 1] Prismo: *mumble* *mumble*

[Panel 2] Prismo: *mumble*

[Panel 3] Simon: Hmph. “Just because it’s in your head-”

[Panel 4] Simon: “-Doesn’t mean it’s yours,” huh?

[Panel 5] Simon: Give me all the responsibility with none of the privileges?

[Panel 6] Simon: And then you get mad at me for trying to pick up your slack? Prismo: Hey...

[Panel 7] Simon: Clearly you already expect that much from me!

[Panel 8] Prismo: Hey, hey! I did the best with what I had! I didn’t expect any of this!

[Panel 9] Simon: And yet you didn’t even consider telling me, so we could’ve avoided this?

[Panel 10] Prismo: It’s not like I could’ve just- taken it out! I was locked out!

[Panel 11] Simon: You could’ve done something!

[Panel 12] Simon: Instead you let my life spiral around this thing, kept me tethered to Ice King’s Madness-

[Panel 13] Prismo: Fionna and Cake are real thou- Simon: NOW you tell me! After I find out for myself!

[yoosung-ah]

1. why is it even an option to not try lol. like, yeah, I didn't feel like being awake any longer anyway and would prefer to stress out my already-stressed-out bf. goodnight, Saeran

2. bro.. you can't just get on top of me like that, looking like an actual angel, when I was just gassed and have no idea where I am... gonna make me lose consciousness again looking all pretty like that

3. actual jumpscare. I usually love horror, but V you gotta give us a content warning for that kind of thing. Jesus

4. undoubtedly highly important information that V and his dark web hacker-for-hire can weaponize against us

I bet Rika saw him practicing his villain repertoire and rolled her eyes into the back of her skull. V also said Rika smelled like manure, and she said she's bored by having only him as company. love how these two actually want nothing to do with each other but insist on ruining each other's lives anyway

I might really have to attack this man. not even for the reasons most players would, either, but because if he wants crazy, I am more than happy to oblige given the current circumstances. maybe then he'll realize what's good for him. but since he's a pacifist: it's because you need therapy. there. now go put that secretly-loaded bank account to good use, love yourself, and get out of here before something truly awful happens. like, idk, going to prison

Chairman Han route when. everyone's like "where's the Vanderwood route at" but by the time we get more content, like a reboot, we'll be looking at Jumin's dad a different kinda way. we can fix him if we try hard enough

not a misunderstanding. I am unfortunately in love with you, just as I am with Saeran, which is why this AE pains me more than most. I even - like the unfaithful player that I am - told you that I liked you back in a previous call and didn't tell you off for being weird. let's not play coy now.

there's probably an uncomfortable and confusing tension in the house due to our shamelessness, and we should all - Rika included - just accept it before things get actually uncomfortable and confusing on day 3

[brielarsonist]

I made the lessons in chemistry lasagna!! this was my first time ever making a lasagna from scratch and it took me forever, but I'm really happy with how it turned out!! and it's very tasty!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA

[flamestar126]

Game Night with Douglas

Click for better quality

What happens after Douglas leaves for a second

rambling about their outfit in tags

[nelkey]

New header!!!!

Finally stopped procrastinating my art assignments and after finishing the first one, which was a moodboard, I realized I could use it as a header xD

[considerad]

shaved my legs so I'm a different person now

[shamera]

NaNo day 21

...i took the day off writing yesterday and used my free time to read, whoops. it seems my brain doesn't want to do the writing thing anymore, so i moved back to the time loop story!

short update, but i think i just missed dfs even if he sure didn't miss me and the frustration i like to put him through.

“Here,” Di Feisheng indicated on the map Wuyan brought. “Cross out all the places above. And one more thing.”

Wuyan didn’t dare object, and bowed before he left.

— 

“Where is everyone?” Fang Duobing asked as they walked through the village. He was peering around, craning his neck around corners as if the townsfolk were merely playing a game that he might win should he find them. It was strange mostly because there were stalls already out, and some food gone cold yet no people to eat or man the area. 

On an otherwise brisk but beautiful day, the entire village was silent. 

“Who knows?” Di Feisheng offered casually, looking away specifically. He didn’t have to look back to know that Li Lianhua was giving him a suspicious stare, but by the time he glanced back at the others, the physician was already studying one of the empty tables with interest. 

Li Lianhua ran a finger down the wooden grain of the table, and then lifted it up to check, rubbing his fingers together. 

“There’s ash,” he said with surprise, bringing his hand up to sniff delicately. “Trace amounts, but something was burnt here earlier. Not too long ago. The people might have evacuated thinking there was a fire.”

“Very effective.” Di Feisheng observed. 

Li Lianhua gave him another look, but didn’t comment further on the words. “I suppose we’ll have to investigate the area for today and wait until the people come back to ask about the missing travellers.”

“Tomorrow?” Fang Duobing’s voice was dismayed, but he merely scowled as he crossed his arms. “I’d rather take care of it today.”

Li Lianhua flicked his fingers. “There’s no rush.”

They searched through the village with far less hassle this time around, but also coming up with far less clues as to what happened to the travellers. 

“Let’s head down this path,” Di Feisheng suggested after the other two refused to rummage through the abandoned homes of the villagers. It meant they hadn’t found key items, but at the same time it meant they weren’t hassled by aggressive strangers. 

“Why?” Li Lianhua asked suspiciously from where he was resting next to a lopsided wooden fence. “You’ve been behaving strange all day, A-Fei.”

Luckily, it seemed Fang Duobing was a little too preoccupied poking through a fire pit a little too large and close to the village centre. Di Feisheng had seen the pit enough times to know that it was there normally and therefore not the source of whatever fire Fang Duobing was looking for. 

“A hunch,” Di Feisheng responded, and turned to leave, knowing the other two would eventually follow him. 

He leads them (suspiciously) to the well and the cavern where the dungeon was, and then (suspiciously) refuses to say how he knew that would be there. For all the times Di Feisheng had quietly attempted to get them to believe that he was repeating the same day over and over, he didn’t want to have that conversation today. 

He generally didn’t want to be called upon to explain how the previous iteration of ‘today’ ended. He just wanted to finish searching through the dungeon to see if they could find something particular or strange, and then perhaps take the next several iterations of ‘today’ away from this place. 

He wasn’t even looking to end the repeats. There were still things he wanted to accomplish if given the extra time. The distant sense of urgency to find a solution to the repeats from the previous day had already faded, but Di Feisheng’s irritation concerning this village had yet to do so. 

“Don’t,” he warned as they searched, “go into the cells. There’s an incendiary trap in there.”

Now it was Fang Duobing frowning at him. “How do you know that?”

Di Feisheng thought for a moment, and then replied, “Ask me this tomorrow.”

They found nothing of use, and when they returned to Lotus Tower for the night, Wuyan reported in the negative and Di Feisheng crossed out another section of the map. 

He spent the late evening practising his sword forms, an uneasy feeling building within as he took his frustrations and uncertainty out on the trees surrounding him. Even as the candle light of Lotus Tower was blown out, he stayed out under the moonlight until he fell asleep resting against the roots of a tree.

— 

Di Feisheng opened his eyes to an unoccupied bed the next day, and frowned. The birds were still chirping, but there was the smell of rice cooking and the distinct sounds of murmuring and footsteps below him. 

He wasn’t… he was still staring up at the roof of Lotus Tower, but was it the next day?

He lifted an arm. He was back in his sleep clothes, although he was certain he fell asleep outdoors in full wear the previous night. He brought the sleeve to his arm and sniffed. No. Unless someone managed to wash him of the sweat accumulated from his training last night, it was just another loop. 

Yet this time, he overslept. 

Judging from the sounds, the two downstairs were trying not to wake him up in a surprisingly thoughtful turn. Di Feisheng moved out of bed slowly, taking stock of his own body as he moved. Nothing seemed amiss, and he certainly wasn’t feeling the exertion from the day previous. He felt as he had each morning for each repeat, and as the bed creaked and his feet hit the floor, he could hear the noises below him change. 

After dressing and strapping his sword to his back, Di Feisheng made his way down the stairs to Fang Duobing attempting to not so subtly push Li Lianhua away from the kitchen area with a spatula as he held onto the pan over the flames and Li Lianhua stirring a pot on a burner with a frown.

“A-Fei!” Fang Duobing called out cheerfully as he pushed through the door. “You sure slept in this morning. Just in time for breakfast, though.”

With bowls of watery congee and a plate of stir-fried vegetables, they sat and discussed the disappearances of several travellers in the village they were heading toward. Di Feisheng stayed quiet during their discussion, watching them for cues. Luckily, that was not unusual of him, although they gave him confused glances from time to time. 

“We probably could have been on our way already,” Fang Duobing bluffed (they never left this early, not in all the iterations) with a sly smile, leaning over the table. “If someone hadn’t overslept!”

Di Feisheng gave him a flat look and set down his empty bowl. 

“I’ll join you tomorrow.” He said. “Something came up today.”

Immediately, Fang Duobing’s smug expression melted into concern instead. It was unfortunate that his emotions were always so clear on his face, as Di Feisheng couldn’t understand how the young man could be a detective when he couldn’t bluff his way out of a wet paper bag. 

Li Lianhua, sitting opposite him, merely took the statement in stride. 

“Good luck on your endeavours,” the man told him, his bowl still more than half full. Half because he ate so slowly, and half because Fang Duobing kept piling more vegetables into it. 

“Wait, wait,” Fang Duobing waved his arms as Di Feisheng stood from the bench, catching their attention. He looked between Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng with concern. “Did something happen? I thought we agreed yesterday to do this together? We spent a week getting here!”

“Something came up,” Di Feisheng repeated, but then amended with a thought, “Go tomorrow. I’ll join you. Do something else today.”

“Like what?” Fang Duobing asked, bewildered.

“There’s a leak in the corner upstairs. Fix that.”

At that, Fang Duobing’s concern slid toward irritation. “Why me? It’s your room, too! You should help!”

“A-Fei,” Li Lianhua interjected smoothly, and Di Feisheng looked down toward him as he set his bowl down to pick up a cup of tea. “You’ll be back tomorrow, then?”

Underneath the cool nonchalance were sharp eyes turned his direction, and Di Feisheng didn’t bother to acknowledge or deny it. 

“Or today.” He said, because it was true. Should the day pass over to the next, he would be back. Should it not pass to the next day, then he would wake in Lotus Tower regardless. 

He called for Wuyan once he was a good distance away, and when the man appeared, Di Feisheng told him, “Today, I will join the search.”

That day, he directed his people around and up a stream, and that night he slept in an unfamiliar inn at an unfamiliar town, surrounded by those of the Jinyuan Alliance in the adjacent rooms, yet his heart continued to be uneasy over the difference in how he woke that day. 

— 

Di Feisheng wakes in Lotus Tower to the sound of early morning birds chirping and sunlight just starting to peek through the horizon through the blinds of the room. Fang Duobing’s elbow was jabbing him in the side, and the sense of relief he felt was so acute it was nearly a physical sensation. 

He goes downstairs in his night clothes and once more stares until Li Lianhua drags himself out of bed with sleepy complaints. 

“I have been living this day again and again.” Di Feisheng told him quietly as they waited for the water to boil for tea. “I have found different ways to predict events, and different secrets you have told me to help me in the next repeat, but I don’t believe you need to know any of that to believe me.”

“So you’re not going to tell me if a lightning strike suddenly breaks through the clouds?” Li Lianhua asked, a hand holding his sleeve back as he scooped tea leaves. The gesture was elegant, sure, and Di Feisheng watched as he carefully poured the near boiling water into the teapot, and then lifted the teapot to swirl the liquid around before emptying the first pour into a bowl to be dumped later. 

As he refilled the teapot, Di Feisheng responded, “That doesn’t happen. I thought I would need proof for you to believe me, but now I realise you’ve never disbelieved me.”

“You’re not the type to lie,” Li Lianhua said. “Especially not about strange events.”

It was true, but not merely in the sense that Di Feisheng didn’t waste time bothering with petty lies and made up stories. Every single time he revealed the repeat of days, Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing went along with whatever he said. If he claimed he was living the same day over and over and they needed to go elsewhere, then the three of them went elsewhere. If he claimed to know what happened and that they should delay a day, then they delayed a day.

It was a heady feeling, knowing that he could say something and they would go along with it, no matter how strange. 

Or perhaps, because of how strange his explanation was. 

Li Lianhua directed the second pour into two small teacups, and then set the teapot back down, releasing his sleeve and flicking his wrists to smooth out the cloth, actions so perfunctory he likely never noticed just how fussy he looked. 

Di Feisheng smiled at the action, picking up a teacup to savour the warmth and smell of it.

Li Lianhua narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.” Di Feisheng told him, still smiling. He imitated Li Lianhua’s movement to draw attention to the superfluousness of it. It looked even more ridiculous when he did it, with his sleeves coiled up under his bracers. “You’re exceptionally vain.”

The other man looked affronted. “Is it vain to keep a clean appearance? I think you’re not using that word correctly, Lao Di.”

Di Feisheng downed the tea in one swallow like wine, savouring the burn on this tongue. It was a warmth that spread down his throat and through his chest, and he savoured it. 

Setting the cup back on the table with a click, he said, “Come with me today. We’ll untether the horses and ride out.”

Li Lianhua raised a brow, hands cradling the warmth of his own teacup without drinking it. “You want me to leave my house?”

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” Di Feisheng stated. One way or another, it would be true. We’ll go now.”

“We should wake Xiaobao up if—”

“He’ll find us.” Di Feisheng interjected. He hadn’t planned on keeping their tracks secret, and if Fang Duobing couldn’t find them, then… well, that would be a lesson to the young man to learn better tracking skills. Already, he pushed himself up from the bench and reached out a hand. “Another thing to teach that disciple of yours.”

Li Lianhua gave him a strange look at the extended hand, but then allowed Di Feisheng to pull him up off the seat. 

Di Feisheng was smiling again, with the cool, calloused hand within his own. 

Li Lianhua sighed. “At least let me leave a message before he accuses us of leaving him behind again.”