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#this will help so many people guys
nyxfaei · 6 months
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Gonna be honest, people. A lot of yall need to draw more fem people with little to no curve.
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stuckinapril · 9 months
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
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I've never been more normal in my life.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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tofixtheshadows · 6 months
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So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.
And I kept wondering: why?
For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.
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So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.
But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.
The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.
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Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?
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That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.
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My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.
Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.
Milsiril the puppetmaster.
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stealingyourbones · 29 days
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Every day i read a post where people write that “Bruce Wayne has an adoption problem” or that Danny is adoption bait on the first second of seeing him, not even knowing if he has a want of vengeance and a sad backstory and parallels to Bruce, and every day I want to softly cry in a corner.
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bookalicent · 14 days
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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rainingcatsandjune · 5 months
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the sleepy bbs :3 sam sleeping with a shifted darlin :3
at this point i feel like i should just tag her SHES BEEN GIVING ME ALL THE IDEAS RAHHFJKSDFHGKJF thank you @nicnebula for indoctrinating introducing me to redactedverse my motivation to draw has gone through the roof AND THANK FOR THIS IDEA ITS SO SWEET AAAAAAAAAAAA
bit messier but i gotta fix my perfectionism somehow so here you go :0
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teaboot · 10 months
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(I'm a security guard.)
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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rotzaprachim · 6 days
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literally half of America wants to vote for a guy whose telling them that every one of their problems is caused by a vague mass of inhuman undocumented immigrants and they believe that. This is a problem. We should focus on what an insane fucking problem it is. It is a very bad thing that so many Americans are so very xenophobic and racist they heard an hour of intense xenophobia and racism and found these ideas attractive. It is not a good thing that they believe this. It is a bad thing they believe this. White Americans of all economic classes who believe this are participating in racism and xenophobia, as well as the extreme sexism exhibited by the party as of late. They are therefor propagating racism and xenophobia that will hurt millions of people. We should do what we can to oppose this ideology
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autisticrosewilson · 3 months
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Um if you write Jason having to get drugs for Catherine I want you dead btw. Not only does it tell me you assume the average drug dealer would give the hard shit to a very small child and then not supervise them at all (classist stereotype that all drug dealers are inherently evil + lazy writing with no grasp on reality) and you genuinely think that Catherine was CONSTANTLY high, as if that's even possible without overdosing far sooner than she did. That's without even getting into the bad mom Catherine propaganda.
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ministarfruit · 1 year
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ravens
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reinabeestudio · 9 months
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Shares some quick studies of my wife when no one's looking
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bread-is-my-life · 1 day
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@tekitothemagpie hey what if I said that I spent 6 hours drawing it because the post you made is absolutely canon
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solazu1 · 2 months
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Aaaa don’t look at me this is embarrassing ohmygoddddd
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thetomorrowshow · 4 months
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when to hold 'em
ur honor i love the flower husbands
~
The crown of antlers is in his hands.
He holds it, turns it, examines every angle.
Then places it on his head.
Scott looks up, across the silent plateau, to the darkness that gathers on the other side.
Sìín kuvi ndakuatura nu Ndíoxī.
-
"You've got this!" a little boy shouts, pumping one fist in the air.
Scott rolls his eyes over to Jimmy. "I thought you said this would be private?" he comments archly.
Jimmy shrugs, looking a little sheepish. "Word gets out. Especially to kids."
"Right. And since you and I were the only ones who knew about this, the children found out through. . . ?"
"I have no idea."
There are six or seven children sitting or standing in the long grass of the field, some tens of meters away. Jimmy waves to them. All but one wave back.
Scott pinches the bridge of his nose. "I don't want anyone getting hurt, Jimmy," he bites out.
"You won't hurt anyone," Jimmy insists. "They're far enough away that they aren't even an issue. They just want to see some magic!"
That's the problem.
Scott's curse isn't a party trick. It isn't something to be gawked at and applauded by children. It's a curse, barely controlled, and a very dangerous one at that.
And it isn't just that he doesn't want them getting hurt. That's most of it, of course, but. . . . 
Scott really doesn't want an audience. He doesn't want people to see him fail.
(Last time he failed, he was surrounded—by elves and enemies alike.)
Something of his thoughts must show on his face, because Jimmy just makes a sound kind of like a sigh and squeezes his hand.
"You're all right," he says quietly. "I'm not leaving. You can control it when I'm here, right?"
"Control is a strong word," mutters Scott. It implies that he can do a lot more than keep an imaginary door shut.
Not to mention, he hasn't been able to let go of Jimmy. They've learned over the past couple of days that when they separate, Scott loses whatever hold he has. It had been unpleasant that first morning, when Scott woke late to find that Jimmy had already gotten back to work, leaving him coated in frost and ice weighing down the tent.
He really has no control if the magic is untamed without the tamer's touch. In all fairness, Jimmy has more control over the magic than Scott does.
But Jimmy just smiles (so brightly that Scott can't help but reluctantly smile back) and points to a patch of wildflowers a good fifty feet away from them.
"Shoot ice at that," he instructs, and Scott, with another glance at the children and more than a bit of trepidation, raises his hand toward the flowers.
He pushes, releasing a little bit of his hold on the magic, letting it conduct out through his arm, pulsing and freezing and—
Frost and ice shoot from his fingertips in a barrage (and the force has him stumbling back a step), about half of it hitting the flowers and the other half falling around them, with some icicles stabbing into the ground a good several feet away.
Scott quickly reasserts his hold on the magic and pulls his arm close to himself, pressing his side into Jimmy.
It's terrifying, using this magic. This magic that, just a few days past, had been using him.
There's no way of knowing just how much damage he's capable of. Based on what he did at the town, Scott thinks he could practically level a village.
It isn't nice, having that much power.
"Whoa!" a young boy screams, and all the other children join in the excitement, chattering about the magic.
"Nice one!" Jimmy says, dragging Scott over to look, sword bouncing on his back.
The flowers are shredded, heads torn from stems and petals torn from heads. A bit of grass is pulled up in a streak, dirt stark against the yellow stalks of grass. Frost coats the area, shards of ice stabbing into the ground.
Scott feels a little sick, looking at it.
That could have hit a person.
If he hadn't figured out that touching Jimmy gave him a measure of control, he could have killed anyone in the camp.
Jimmy's already tugging him back, probably wanting to practice again. He wants Scott to get good at his aim, and Scott isn't sure if it's so he feels more safe with himself, or so he can be more useful in attacks.
"I'm just a weapon," he says offhandedly. Bit of a fall from king of the elves.
"Come on, now," Jimmy says consolingly. "You're a beautiful weapon."
Scott snorts. "Try that one again."
"My favorite weapon?"
"If I could let go of your hand, I would."
Jimmy grins. "What I'm hearing is I can be as obnoxious as I want, and you can't do anything."
"Oh, you—"
Their flirting is cut off as a child crosses the invisible boundary, skipping up toward them.
"Stay back there," Jimmy commands, voice ringing with sudden authority, stepping forward with an arm out.
Scott glances at him, more to make sure that it's still his Jimmy there than anything else. He forgets, sometimes, that Jimmy actually has power. Not just the power of a ruler, either—some sort of unknown, hidden power had to have played a part in his survival, and his ability to heal others. Scott's seen him heal so many of the survivors that they just rescued, just by pressing a hand to their wounds. Jimmy, somehow, is a living, walking, healing miracle.
As much as they're teasing each other today, Scott can't help but feel a little hollow inside. It's still so hard to be here, to hold the hand of his once-dead betrothed.
Not that he has any other option.
Not that he doesn't want to.
The child halts immediately, waits for Jimmy and Scott to come toward her.
She's a little older than the other children, and one that Scott recognizes—from when, he doesn't know—, her scales like freckles spattered across her cheeks and nose.
"Codfather!" she says, standing at attention. "We've found something."
-
"I'm honestly just surprised it made it all the way down here," Scott muses, turning the satchel over in his hands. Below it, on the table in Jimmy's planning tent, lies the crown of antlers and a thin grey book, instantly recognizable as the one he had forgotten to give Lizzie.
"That would be the enchantments," Jimmy says, leaning on Scott's shoulder. When Scott turns his head to raise an eyebrow at him, he elaborates.
"Well, look, see the way the stag kind of shimmers? That's a protection kind of enchantment, to keep the bag from tearing. And the cod is a homebound enchantment—wherever you are, it'll find you."
Scott blinks.
How on earth would he be able to tell that just by looking at it?
"Are you making things up?" he asks dubiously.
Jimmy frowns. "What? No. My people showed me every step of the process when they were making this. We had a promising young Cod—Everarda—she was going to Gem's Academy, and she enchanted the thread. And Theo attached the strap—I think Jesse did part of the bag itself, and—"
"And the crown," Scott murmurs, picking it up with more reverence than he's shown it in some time.
It still shines, despite traveling down river for weeks and ending up buried in the mud. Its glow, perhaps, is more due to its divinity than any amount of polish.
How had it found him here?
Aeor, no doubt.
Scott's been kind of ignoring his god, as of late. Sure, he's said a couple of prayers here and there—some of them sobbing, silent prayers in his frozen world, others rote repetition and dull words—but he hasn't exactly been the most faithful of chosen ones.
It isn't that he doesn't respect Aeor. He still worships his god. It's just . . . easier, he supposes, to pretend as if this is all there is. His story ends here, and he dwindles away.
Yet every night, he tosses and turns, struck by recurring dreams. Dreams that have an oddly golden quality, dreams in which he has the crown of antlers and is alone against Xornoth.
Dreams in which he thinks in a tongue that is unrecognizable to him.
He's been ignoring the dreams, hoping them to be nothing—and in so doing, he's been ignoring hints from his god.
The fact that the crown is here again, one of the artifacts necessary to defeat Xornoth—and he doesn't think he really needs the boots anymore—feels like a bit more than a hint.
His stomach swoops unpleasantly. If Aeor's sending him messages of this magnitude, he clearly wants Scott to get going.
It's not like Scott can take on Xornoth with nothing changing. Xornoth almost killed him last time. He still has no idea what he's doing. Not to mention, Xornoth is surely even more powerful by this point, surrounded by soldiers and Rivendell's magic and who knows what else. There's no chance of survival.
Yet Aeor is pushing him. Aeor is telling him to go up against his brother another time and fail. Aeor is sending him to his doom.
And Scott's going to do it.
He doesn't want to. He wants to stay here, with Jimmy, in this little temporary civilization forever. He wants to forget about the world outside, forget that everything will likely collapse in a matter of months.
He doesn't want to die.
He doesn't want to fail again.
But he has been feeling like he's living on borrowed time.
And he can rub his thumb along the light scars on Jimmy's knuckles and wonder if he feels the same.
"What's this?" Jimmy asks, drawing Scott from his morbid spiraling by picking up the grey book.
"I—I don't know," Scott says, still reeling from his moment of revelation. "Something Oceanic, I think. I meant to give it to Lizzie."
He's going to die. He's being sent to his death like a lamb to the slaughter.
The long hours spent in Gem's secret library seem like a lifetime ago—a time when devastation was fresh, when Jimmy was dead yet the world seemed more hopeful than it does now. He barely recalls how they found the book in the first place.
"And it stayed in your bag the whole time," Jimmy muses, turning it this way and that. "What's it about?"
"I don't know, I couldn't read it."
"Hm." Jimmy flips the book open to the first page, while Scott gently sets the crown back down and turns to the young teen who had found the items.
"And there was nothing else there?" he questions.
She shakes her head. "Nothing that I saw, Lord Smajor. I can show you the place, if you like."
It's unlikely that the boots would have made it there. It's not like they had some sort of tracking spell, after all. It's more likely Lizzie found them, washed up on one of her islands.
"That won't be necessary," he tells the girl. "If anyone finds magical boots that burn to the touch, however, find me."
She nods, takes a few cautious steps back. Scott waits expectantly for Jimmy to dismiss her, but when he doesn't, she just shrugs and bounds off.
Scott looks back to Jimmy, who has stepped uncomfortably far away, the fingers of his right hand just brushing Scott's waist. Scott steps more into reach, peeks over at the book that Jimmy is so intently studying.
It looks much the same as he remembers, if a bit more wet. Strange, faded blue letters, made large with thick strokes. Not much of a conceivable pattern to split up the words (unless it's a character based language?), or even a way to tell if it's written from right to left or not.
But Jimmy is scrutinizing this old little book, mouth moving slightly as his eyes slowly travel across the page.
"Can you read it?" Scott asks incredulously. Jimmy can barely read Common, how on Aeor's great earth is he reading whatever this is?
"I—I think so?" Jimmy says, looking up from the book. "I've never seen this language before. At least, not that I can remember."
Right. Amnesia.
"I think I used to be able to write in this," continues Jimmy, voice hushed as his eyes return to the book. "That's crazy. How old is this?"
"Very," Scott says. Then, still confused, "Can amnesia make it so that you forget an entire language?"
Jimmy doesn't answer. Instead, he points a shaking finger at a point on the page, letting go of Scott (who presses his arm to Jimmy's, maintaining their vital contact) to do so.
What's so exciting about that part? Jimmy's suddenly gone white as mountain's snow, eyes watering as if he's about to cry. What could possibly bring him to tears so quickly? Is this a book of prophecies? Is Jimmy reading about the doubtless end that awaits them?
But Jimmy, voice weak, doesn't say anything like that. Instead, he says, looking over at Scott, "This . . . this is about me."
-
"It's a journal, of some kind," Jimmy explains, later, sitting on the grass in his tent, a plate (which was really more of a carefully sanded piece of wood) of berries and two bowls of thin soup between them. "I think Lizzie wrote it."
Scott frowns. "Lizzie? Are you sure?"
That just can't be possible. Gem's library had been sealed for likely hundreds of years. Jimmy's only—well, he only showed up ten years ago, and Lizzie—Lizzie's been around for a while, but fish hybrids don't live for longer than the average human lifespan.
Right? Lizzie's been. . . . 
"Lizzie joined the House Blossom Alliance over twenty years ago," Scott says aloud. He was there when she showed up to her first meeting, he remembers that. She'd seemed young, small, hair falling into her face, clearly dressed in her nicest of clothing—which was almost meager compared to the glory of some of the other empires.
Still, she had commanded the respect of all of them, speaking boldly and making firm promises. Scott remembers being begrudgingly impressed, though not quite as much as the boy Mezelean Prince, who repeatedly urged his father (in a voice a bit too loud to be a whisper) to arrange an alliance.
If Lizzie had only inherited her kingdom at that age, then there was no way she had been able to write whatever that book was. Neither she nor Jimmy would even be born for centuries.
"Lizzie joined then . . . and none of us really knew much about the Ocean Kingdom, but we'd seen their buildings begin to rise above the water and she seemed legitimate. . . . And then you showed up about a decade later and started reaching out to empires, didn't you?"
"Why are you reciting history to me?"
Scott snorts. "This is barely history, more of a contemporary review," he tells Jimmy, adjusting so that Jimmy's heel isn't digging into his thigh. They've contorted themselves a bit oddly, perhaps, one of Jimmy's legs reaching around their dinner to keep physical contact with Scott, but there's only so long that they can hold hands in a day.
"I just don't understand how the books came to be in Gem's hidden library."
"Maybe it wasn't all that hidden?" Jimmy suggests. "Maybe Lizzie found it and put these books in."
"Are you sure Lizzie wrote it?"
"Yeah, it's her handwriting."
"That is definitely not her handwriting," Scott says, pointing to the open book beside Jimmy. "That isn't anyone's handwriting. That's an ancient Oceanic script that nobody remembers."
"I remember it," Jimmy says, popping a berry into his mouth.
"Yes, but you don't really, right? You can read it, and write it, but you don't know how you know it or where you learned it. How do you know it even talks about you?"
"Lizzie's writing to me in parts of it."
"How do you know it's you? And not someone else named Jimmy?"
Jimmy frowns. "It's not exactly my name, you know. It's a word that means me. Nobody else would have that."
It does not make sense.
None of this makes any sense.
"Sounds inefficient for a language," Scott murmurs absently, ignoring the pang in his chest as he remembers that Jimmy died and now is back so what does sense even matter?
"Right, it changed to use names as the Ocean Kingdom grew. Barely anybody even knew this form of it by the time. . . ."
Jimmy trails off, eyes unfocusing with a concerning suddenness. His lips move ever so slightly, forming unsaid words.
"Jimmy?" tries Scott, reaching over to tap on his knee. Jimmy blinks, eyes refocusing on Scott.
"Sorry, what was I saying?" he asks, brows furrowed.
And if that isn't strange, Scott doesn't know what is.
"Something about the language developing over time?" Scott prompts.
Jimmy bites his lip, looks askance. "I don't . . . I don't know. I don't remember. I don't. . . ."
He doesn't look like he's going to cry, exactly, but he certainly looks troubled, and his eyes catch on the book.
"None of it makes sense," he says quietly, and Scott could not agree more. "Lizzie wrote that. I know she wrote that. I don't know how. And it's . . . I need to talk to her."
"It's from before you lost your memory, isn't it?" Scott asks after a moment. He isn't sure how far he can push this, but he feels a sense of idle curiosity. What does the book say? Why does it worry Jimmy? How did it get in the Crystal Cliffs secret library, unrecorded and forgotten?
Jimmy nods. "It's gonna eat at me, Scott," he says, already sounding tired. "Lizzie's writing about all sorts of things that I don't remember. They just don't make sense. I need to talk to her, figure out if she remembers any of this."
"You're saying we need to go to the Ocean Kingdom."
Again, Jimmy nods. "Yep. At some point." He looks away, sighs, briefly looking far too old yet much too young to be leading a camp of refugees, let alone a kingdom.
Jimmy's always had moments like that, when his bearing makes it obvious to Scott that Jimmy stumbled into this role ten years ago and gave it his all, despite his lack of experience.
He doesn't deserve this—war, death, pain.
Jimmy doesn't deserve any of this.
But Jimmy doesn't dwell, even if Scott does. Instead, he looks back up to meet Scott's eyes, lips quirked in a smile. "What about you? What's with the crown?"
Right. The crown.
Scott swallows.
He and Jimmy have talked a little. Just enough to air out any pressing concerns, for Scott to realize that his conflicting feelings were not unwarranted but unneeded, and for Jimmy to accept that Scott is struggling and help him feel assured of his love as often as he can.
But they haven't talked much, despite literally never leaving one another's side. They've been so busy keeping the camp running and planning attacks and defenses and experimenting with Scott's curse that they haven't been able to sit down and talk, like they're doing now.
Does Scott tell him what it means?
Does Scott tell him that by sending the crown, Aeor intends for Scott to go up against Xornoth again, just to fail as he already has? Does he tell Jimmy that this little respite was nice, but it can't last forever?
Maybe he can put it off. Maybe he can stay with Jimmy just a little bit longer, in the relative peace of the camp.
It's selfish. Scott ought to at least try to fight Xornoth right now, if only for the elves in captivity.
But Scott's kind of tired of trying to save the world. Let someone else do it, for a change.
He forces a smile, fiddles with a berry between his fingers. "It's just a Rivendell treasure. You needn't worry about it."
He'll stay, Scott decides, as Jimmy gives him a soft, loving smile. He'll stay as long as he can.
-
Which isn't very long.
As it turns out, their little frozen-town trick from the week before didn't go over well with Mythland, and it's only the next morning that a woman comes running to the planning tent, declaring that she'd seen three unfamiliar men searching for the camp while she was on patrol. That means that Mythland knows roundabouts where the first camp is (the newly-formed second is off to the northeast, and as far as they know, hasn't been discovered), and the probability of attack is high.
It's time to move, then. Scott spends all morning running from place to place with Jimmy, helping children and disabled and those unwilling to fight pack up and prepare to move to the second camp, from whence a proper plan will be formed.
It isn't terribly easy to mobilize a camp of hundreds of people in only one day. Many of them, in the short month or so that they've been here, have settled in as if it were their home. Some of the families have collected possessions, strangely enough—Scott watches an elderly man argue with Jimmy for almost ten minutes in some strange Oceanic dialect over not wanting to part with his chair. Jimmy responds patiently, but Scott can feel his body tense more and more as he responds in the dolphin-like clicks and whistles of the dialect.
Finally, Jimmy pats the man on the shoulder and says something in a low voice to him, then moves on.
"What'd you say?" asks Scott, hanging on to Jimmy's arm as they walk away, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of hurried packing.
"I told him he can leave the chair or die in it, I don't care," Jimmy says breezily, and Scott almost laughs.
"One of these days you need to learn diplomacy."
"I said I'd go find his husband, he can be diplomatic."
It takes an hour to find him, however, because at every turn, Jimmy is pulled aside and asked a question, called over for help, or stopped to listen to some sort of plan or explanation. The camp is quickly emptying, guides hurrying back and forth between the camps to lead more people to the safer location.
"I hope we aren't being watched," Scott says offhandedly, watching a group of a dozen or so Cod head out, laden with makeshift packs. "Then they'd find the location of the other camp, too."
Jimmy doesn't reply, just points beyond the treeline, out toward the outskirts of their massive camp. There, past the chaos of destroying shelters and striking tents, Scott sees several people in light armor, each carrying a weapon, making circles around the camp.
"Patrol is doubled," Jimmy says shortly. "All the way down to Camp Two."
"How many people are in Camp Two?"
"We have . . . what, two hundred joining them?" Jimmy guesses, readjusting the sword strapped to his back. "So they'll be up to around five hundred. It'll drop, though, as they send us fighters tomorrow."
They're leaving tomorrow, too. Everyone who is left in the camp tomorrow at noon (the able fighters, that is) will be marching out. The plan is to head out toward the Ocean Kingdom, add their little force of four hundred to Lizzie's armies, and from there plan with Lizzie a way to try and defeat Xornoth.
Scott should feel better about it. He'd felt for so long that Jimmy's small goals were pointless, after all.
But he knows now that it's hopeless to try and sway this war. Scott feels like there's a rain cloud looming over their heads, ready to strike down with lightning and set the camp ablaze. Death surely lurks just beyond their line of sight.
There's no way to defeat Xornoth. His power will only grow, the God of Darkness fed by the fear and torture he brings to the land.
Maybe Aeor wants Scott to take a shot at it just so that he can go to the afterlife with full honor. Elvish history and religious lore is fairly vague on anything other than the separation of the afterlife, but it's always had a sense of peace and happiness. Maybe Aeor knows that Scott is bound to die, and wants to hurry it along so that he can get some peace for once.
For a god that sends him frustrating hints all the time, he's really outdone himself with this one.
He's going to die. Aeor is sending him to his death.
Jimmy notices something's wrong, somehow. Jimmy, who never notices anything, even when he's not busy with mobilizing an entire camp over the space of a day and a half, notices that something is wrong, which means that Scott isn't hiding his thoughts very well.
He used to be so much better at this. Back before he met Jimmy.
But Jimmy frowns at some point during the day, rubs his thumb over Scott's knuckles, and asks how he's doing.
And when Scott asks why Jimmy would even be concerned, Jimmy points out his wings and how stiff they are, and the way his fingers are repeatedly tapping against his side, and the anxious frown on his lips, and asks if he's having sensory overload.
No, he's just thinking about his own imminent death. Nothing to worry about there.
He wants Jimmy to live. He wants Jimmy to gather his little force and leave the land of the Empires, go somewhere without demons and death, somewhere his people can rebuild.
He doesn't want Jimmy to be captured and subjected to torture, or killed, or whatever evil is in mind for him.
He wants Jimmy to be happy.
If it comes to it, Scott decides right then and there, he'll split off from the group. He'll leave a note, telling Jimmy to get out when it all goes wrong, and fly to Rivendell alone, ready to confront his demon brother once and for all.
And then he'll die.
Right.
He's going to die.
-
They set out at noon the next day, Scott's satchel uncomfortably heavy with the weight of both the crown and general travel supplies—some food, first aid, and a bowl and spoon. Jimmy hikes beside him at the front of the pack, the mysterious runes carved into the old leather of the hilt of his sword sparkling in the sun.
If Scott had been in charge of this expedition to the Ocean Kingdom, he would have set out at dusk rather than noon, the hot sun beating down on their backs. He barely gets half an hour into the march before shrugging off his coat and draping it over his head, sweat dripping into his eyes.
Elves aren't made for heat, not noonday, marching-through-tall-prairie-grass, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky kind of heat. It's hot, but worse than that it's humid, so Scott has to deal with not only the burning sun but also the thick air that threatens to choke him. He stops frequently to take a sip from the waterskin bumping against his hip, to wipe the sweat from his brow, to pray for clouds, and he can only hope that his skin isn't burning beyond recognition.
At least last time he trekked through the plains, he was covered in ice. Now he's overheating, out of breath, and just generally exhausted.
And they haven't even been walking for a full day.
His wings itch to take flight, glide through the air and feel the wind on his face, make it to the Ocean Kingdom in under an hour instead of the several day journey that the force has embarked on.
They're walking the whole way, despite the fact that the nearby river would be a much faster way to travel for Cod. Jimmy says that the river is being watched intently, and that four hundred rebels is a little conspicuous. They'll be expected to take the river route, not go around.
And Scott also suspects that Jimmy doesn't want to leave anyone behind. Not all of the rebels are native Cod, and not all are capable of breathing underwater—like him, for example.
Not that Jimmy would change the plans and safety of his entire camp for just Scott.
They walk all afternoon in even warmer weather (and it can't really be that warm, because all of the Cod are doing fine, but Scott is really just not suited for this), and they're about to press onward after a blessed break for supper when one of the scouts sent on ahead comes running back, a little dot on the rolling yellow-green plains ahead that gradually becomes larger.
When they arrive, huffing and puffing, green in the face, they salute Jimmy and bow a little to Scott, accepting a drink of water.
"There's a small Mythland camp up ahead," they manage after a moment to catch their breath, sweeping their sweaty brown bangs out of their eyes. "An expedition or scouting group, probably. Fifty soldiers at most."
"We stop here to rest," Jimmy decides immediately, without waiting to consult the two Cod that he's chosen to be his seconds-in-command. "We'll continue in a couple of hours. Can you lead me to the camp?"
The young Cod nods, and before Scott knows it, they're guiding him and Jimmy away, a group of five of the stealthiest Cod accompanying them.
Scott doesn't really think it's a good idea to go spying—not when both he and Jimmy are rather high-profile, and letting go of Jimmy could have disastrous consequences making it impossible to split up—but who is he to make the rules around here?
And maybe he just doesn't want to go because his legs and back ache from the journey thus far, and his excessive clothing is all stuck to him with his own sweat.
Or maybe he doesn't want to go because he's going to die in a matter of days and he wants to spend as much time talking to Jimmy as possible instead of silent surveillance.
But as dusk falls and the world darkens, Scott finds himself lying on his belly at the peak of a small, ridge-like hill, peering down at a small camp of Mythland soldiers.
There's probably fifty men or so, most of whom are preparing or eating an evening meal between the six rows of tents. None of them are in armor, milling around the two campfires on either end of the camp, over each of which is a pot of something cooking (probably a stew).
"Fire is good," Jimmy murmurs. "It'll throw off their vision. We can probably get pretty close."
He points to a tent on the edge of the second row away from them, a bit bigger than the others, which two men are currently exiting. “I bet the man in charge is there. I want to know what his plans are.”
"Can we risk it?" Scott whispers back, tearing his eyes away from the camp to focus on Jimmy's shadowed face, two bright streaks across his vision from the light of the fires. "If we get caught, the whole operation is done for."
Jimmy clicks his tongue, reaffirms his grip on Scott's hand. "If we get caught, you fly us out of there, okay?"
"What? Jimmy, I haven't flown in weeks—my wings were broken, I don't even know if they'll support my weight, let alone—"
"Then we won't get caught," Jimmy says simply.
Right. Because that's the way that works.
Still, Scott only sighs and nods, and after a few long moments of silent communication with the other five rebels, Jimmy and Scott crawl back down the hill, sliding back on hands and knees until they're far enough back that they can stand fully.
They wait there, silent, until dark has fully fallen and the air cools, various nighttime critters hopping out of their hiding places to make their voices heard. Scott leaps back in surprise when a field mouse crawls across his foot, briefly losing contact with Jimmy and sending an icicle straight through the mouse, skewering it to the ground.
Jimmy sucks his breath in between his teeth. Scott cringes, gripping Jimmy's bicep and feeling his control acclimate again.
He hates this. He hates not being in control. He hates being cursed.
"Just . . . try not to do that again?" Jimmy says after a moment.
Scott nods wordlessly.
They don't say anything after that, and soon enough they can't really see anything beyond a foot ahead of them, and Jimmy begins to lead the way around the curve of the hill.
It isn't too difficult to move through the tall grass quietly, crouched over to hide in it, but Scott finds himself gritting his teeth every time Jimmy stumbles over a stalk or tramples some grass. Can't he just be silent? Scott has massive wings behind him and he isn't getting caught on anything, it can't be that hard.
He has to remind himself every couple of steps that different people have different skills. Elves have light feet and are better at sneaking than most, after all. It isn't Jimmy's fault that he's a flat-footed Cod.
"Left," Jimmy breathes in his ear, and Scott freezes. "There's someone on watch."
Scott looks around, trying to get his eyes to acclimate to the darkness. The firelight is throwing off his heightened vision (just as Jimmy had predicted it would for the enemy) , but he can maybe see a figure standing out in the grass to their right.
Now that he knows the man is there, if he pays attention he can hear him. He can hear the slight wheeze that accompanies each breath, the almost-silent rustle of clothing.
They shift left, Scott keeping an eye on the shadowy figure, making sure he doesn't head this way.
But as they move, Scott's still-alert ears pick up another sound, distant and almost indistinct.
Ba-thump. . . . Ba-thump. . . . Ba-thump. . . .
It might be his imagination, but it seems to be growing louder.
"Do you hear something?" Scott ventures to whisper, glancing around to make sure the guard doesn't hear him. Jimmy shrugs.
"No. What is it?"
He doesn't see anything. But he can still hear the rhythmic thudding, ever so slightly louder. Maybe it's his heartbeat?
Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.
Jimmy continues moving, bent over almost double, masked by the tall grass. Scott follows, their fingers linked and connecting them, swallowing back his bad feeling.
It sounds like a drum. A beating drum coming closer and closer.
Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump—
"Are you—" Scott starts, before something clicks in his memory and he knows exactly what the sound is.
Uh-oh.
Ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump—
Scott drags Jimmy back by his tunic, pulling him down on his back in the grass, the sword in its scabbard jostling against Scott's arm (flattened under Jimmy as they both lie supine on the ground). Scott presses his free hand to Jimmy's mouth, silencing the question about to burst from his lips.
Just in time, as a horse and rider come barreling through, barely two meters away from them, hooves thudding against the grass and saddlebags clanking. The horse gallops across the field to the camp, which is still far enough away that they can't hear anything more than the general bustle of a camp getting ready for bed.
Scott carefully sits back up once he's sure the danger has passed (and Jimmy does too, with considerably more noise), watches as the rider dismounts, tying the horse's reins to the post that's been set up at the edge of camp, next to the pack ponies that are lazily munching on the grass.
"He looks important," Jimmy whispers.
He does. The rider is wearing the official white surcoat of Mythland, a polished leather satchel strapped across his chest. He doesn't even unsaddle his horse, just continues on into the camp, stride slightly bowlegged.
Neither of them even have to say anything. Both Jimmy and Scott just move forward in sync, zigzagging from left to right, slower and slower the closer they get to the camp as the grass grows shorter, until they find themselves right behind the tent that the rider entered, the larger one that is luckily off to the side rather than in the center.
It's dangerous. There's a tent behind them a little ways, and others in their line of sight—made especially risky by the firelight emanating from one of the campfires, only a row away from them.
Still, nobody seems to be wandering about over here, and Scott trusts that either he'll hear them coming or Aeor will protect them.
Now, though, he needs to focus.
"Can you hear anything?" whispers Jimmy. Scott shushes him near silently, presses his ear up against the canvas. Jimmy does the same, his bad ear out toward the camp.
A couple of indistinguishable murmurings—pleasantries, if Scott had to guess—then the most obnoxious slurping Scott has ever heard—
"I don't believe I understand," a man's voice says, gruff and low, muffled through the tent wall. "The king wants us to abandon our course?"
"For the time being," a younger voice—the rider, Scott guesses—says.
"But we just sent our report. We've found the rebel camp. We need to attack before they move. I was expecting two thousand soldiers, not a messenger telling me to head to the coast."
"Everyone is being sent to the coast," the rider responds. "The rebel camp will still be here later."
"Or they'll all go hide in their little badger-holes. We could lose the Codlands if they get bold."
A chuckle. "It wouldn't take much to re-conquer them, I assure you. Especially without their ruler."
Scott squeezes Jimmy's hand. Jimmy squeezes back.
"I don't know," the first man says. "Something strange is going on with those rebels. Did you hear about Medokrill?"
"I don't bother myself with the names of their primitive villages."
"Froze. Overnight. Three men got frostbite."
"The weather of this place does not—"
"And in the morning, most of the Cod had vanished." The squeaking of a chair, another horrid slurp. "Now, I don't like that sort of coincidence. The town freezes—in August, mind—and that same night, the rebels strike and sneak everyone out of there. And only Medokrill froze. Even the prairie around it was untouched."
"What do you want me to do about it?" the rider asks after a moment. The other man chuckles.
"Keep it quiet, ideally. I don't know who or what has that kind of power, but I'm thinking the blame lies with those fairies. They might not be so neutral, after all.”
“I'm sure His Majesty would find that quite informative.”
“Remember that we don't want to scare our men, or give the Cod hope. Keep it quiet. But otherwise, you could get me my men so I can quash this rebellion."
The rider clicks his tongue. "The command is coming straight from His Majesty. Everyone is going to the coast for an attack."
"What could be so important—"
"The Ocean Queen is gone," the rider says.
Jimmy stiffens beside Scott. 
"She'll be arriving in Rivendell early tomorrow morning. The King intends to . . . delay her return, if you take my meaning. We attack while she's gone. By the time the day ends, we should have the upper hand and the fish will surrender within the week."
"Hm." The other man goes silent for a long moment. "I don't know how I feel about that. Tomorrow?"
"You're the last group to know, unfortunately. You should make it to the river in under an hour, and from there it will be several days' march to the coast itself. With any luck, the fighting will be done before you even arrive."
A long, drawn-out sigh. "And I don't suppose my little espionage group was small enough to escape the King's attention?"
"Every man, General. This could be the end of the war."
"Right. Well, it'll be morning before I can get my men moving. That wouldn't be too much of an issue, would it?"
"I suppose I might have stopped for the night before reaching your camp. Officially, I arrived tomorrow morning."
"Sure. And none of that stuff about the freeze leaves this tent, all right?"
"And you never heard a thing about the Ocean Queen's permanent little trip."
Another slurp that sets Scott's teeth on edge.
"Agreed. Have you been to the Capital lately?"
"Not in several weeks. Why?"
"Just wondering how the new market law is going."
"Ah. Well, I can tell you. . . ."
Jimmy tugs, lightly, on Scott's sleeve, and after a moment longer of listening to make sure they don't return to the earlier topic, Scott allows himself to be pulled.
They sneak back through the grass, not stopped by the sight of any sentry, off toward their vantage hill, around the side of it and to the back, where they find the other five rebels that they'd brought with them sitting cross-legged, conversing in whispers and pulling apart stalks of grass.
"Back to camp," Jimmy says shortly when they look up, and walks straight past them, pulling Scott with him.
Without a word, they follow him, stealing off in the direction of their resting soldiers, several hills away.
"What are we—" Scott whispers, but Jimmy shakes his head.
"Later."
Later.
How much later?
This is kind of important news, in Scott's opinion!
If Sausage is concentrating all his forces on the Ocean Kingdom because Lizzie's going to be in Rivendell for some reason, their whole mission is for nothing. They won't be able to strengthen her armies if they can't reach the ocean, but they can't go back—soon they'll be closed in, Mythland having conquered the Ocean Kingdom, so maybe they can flee to the Overgrown—but the general already suspects that the Overgrown is aiding them, and joining their ranks would only lead to an invasion—
"Who's there?" a guard calls, peering out into the darkness.
"It's us, Lanale," Jimmy says, and Scott stops to survey their rebel force.
It's too small. It's absolutely tiny. There's approximately four hundred of them, some as young as fourteen, ready to fight to try and free their country.
And that captain had just casually ordered two thousand soldiers to entirely wipe out their little force.
There's nothing they can do to help Lizzie against all of Mythland's armies. They won't even make a difference. They surely can't join the Overgrown, as it would lead to an attack. They can't stay here, not with Mythlanders combing the prairies for them.
He has no idea what Jimmy intends to do. He can't see any way out.
Yet Jimmy moves with purpose, and Scotr walks with him, picking through sleeping rebels, until Jimmy finds the woman he wants and shakes her awake.
She stretches, stands slowly, pushes her hair back. "Codfather," she yawns, clearly not-quite awake. "What do you need?"
"You're a good leader, Millie," Jimmy says, skipping pleasantries. "I need you to be in charge while I'm gone."
Millie blinks. "Gone? Gone where? What's happening?"
"I'm putting you and Emilio in charge," Jimmy explains, rather impatiently. "There's been a change in plans. You need to split up. You take most of the fighters over the river to the Overgrown, all right? Volunteer to join Katherine's army. Emilio needs to take fifty men and go back to Camp Two. Emilio will gather everyone who is able, and lead them to the Overgrown. Got it? Everyone is going to House Blossom."
"I—what?"
"Jimmy—" Scott starts—what is he talking about? That will only make things worse, and where will Jimmy be?—but Jimmy doesn't stop.
"Scott and I are leaving right now to Rivendell," he says firmly. "Can I trust you to lead these people to the Overgrown?"
Rivendell?
How?
Millie nods, all traces of sleepiness gone. "Of course, Codfather. And Emilio as well. They're a good fish."
Jimmy claps her on the shoulder once before turning away, pulling Scott back in the direction they came from.
"Wait!" Millie whisper-shouts, and Jimmy pauses, looks over his shoulder.
Millie gives him a grim nod. "Codspeed."
Jimmy nods back, once, then continues on.
"I'm sorry, what?" demands Scott, once they've retraced their path through the dozing force. "I—what are we—Rivendell, Jimmy? What—"
"We have to warn her," Jimmy says, and that may be true, but they can't just abandon the people here to go on a rescue mission miles and lifetimes away!
"Right, but it's logistically impossible—we ought to be headed to the Ocean Kingdom, warn her military commander, bef—"
"He literally told us where she was gonna be, we have to go out there—"
"He told us Rivendell! We don't know where in Rivendell, and more importantly—we can't get to Rivendell! How are we—"
"It's my sister, Scott," Jimmy says, and Scott falls silent at the desperate look on his face. He thinks he can see, by the moonlight, the sparkle of a tear on his cheek, somehow distinguishable from the shine of scales pushing through the scars on his face.
He got those scars, Scott remembers, when he fell through the Void and the nothing tore away pieces his skin, dissolving everything that was Jimmy.
Scott promised himself then, as his wings beat desperately and tears streamed down his face and he carried the unmoving body of his fiancé in his arms, that he would do anything for Jimmy, as long as he survived.
"It's my sister," Jimmy says again now, and Scott's eyes flick up from his scars to his beautiful, serious, brown eyes. "I'm not gonna leave her. I'm not gonna let Sausage murder her."
Scott glances away.
If they reveal themselves, Scott will have to face Xornoth.
If they save Lizzie, Scott will die.
And maybe that's dramatizing it a little bit, but it's true. If they go out into the public, if everyone knows that they're alive, then Xornoth will come after them.
Instead of, maybe, several more weeks with Jimmy, Scott's timeline has dropped down to a matter of days—hours, even.
He can't leave Jimmy so soon. He just found him again.
But one more look at Jimmy's pleading, teary eyes, and Scott knows that he can't leave Lizzie to die. She doesn't have a chance against the demon.
No one does, but he can at least hold Xornoth off while the others get to safety.
He'll never see Jimmy again.
"All right," he says, even as it breaks his heart. "We'll do it. But how do you intend on getting to Rivendell?"
Jimmy's eyes slowly slide up, up to the half moon, to the stars surrounding it. "Well, remember my escape plan from earlier?"
"Jimmy."
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