#this was super fun I've been wanting to work on it for a while but!! i wanted cool lil oc banners too
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Yesterday I did indeed end up choosing "lie in comfy bed" over painting, but that also meant I had a bit more energy for taking care of other business later in the day. And honestly, yesterday was kind of humid, so not the most ideal day for painting when I need it to dry quickly so the cats don't accidentally get paint on their fur.
But I filled some prescriptions, and got myself set up with a health screening, both of which I did in the evening although I don't like evening errands. It's been so long since I tried dating actively that I'd forgotten it's a thing you want to do, getting regular STI checks. I had hoped to do it walk-in but most clinics seemed super busy (I found myself thinking "maybe now that we're going into the be indoors months everyone's getting to fuckin?") so I've got an appointment for Saturday. (More mostly dating stuff under the cut.)
Things are moving along with Museum Date, if slowly, so it's just as well. And, wildly, I also have a breakfast date on Saturday morning with someone. This is something of an increase in my normal success rate of zero. Not sure what I'm doing differently but I'll take it.
I kind of suspect it might be that I tried different apps this time; the general consensus is that for liberal people my age, OKCupid or Tinder are best. They do offer more filter options in terms of who you're looking for and why, sometimes. But being permabanned on those two for not being a real person (yikes) forced me to look at some alternatives. And, while it's not the only app I'm on, it's fascinating to me that I've seen a lot more people I'd actually date on eHarmony.
I KNOW. It used to be that was a very white, conservative, Christian space, but it appears now that if you're above forty, still pretty lefty, and (crucially) have your shit together, it's a strong option. The "edgy mess" to "articulately self-confident" ratio is very different there to hipper apps, and while there's nothing wrong with not quite having your shit together in your forties, the number of people who seem to be deliberate and proud about not having done any work on themselves drops sharply. Possibly too because there's really not much you can do on that one without paying, and paying indicates a level of both commitment to realness and financial stability.
Plus, cougars. I'm not immune. I don't have much interest in anyone younger than about forty, but I don't mind an age gap above it.
In any case both I and the other people I see on the apps I've drifted towards seem to know more who we are and what we want so maybe it's just maturity, I don't know. I see less "game" stuff like car selfies to prove you have a car and more "pictures with kids because you should be aware I have some".
Still, I'm not gonna lie, getting to know two whole entire new people in one month is kind of stressful. I wouldn't call myself committed to monogamy and I don't mind being involved with poly folk as long as it's all aboveboard, but having multiple regular partners sounds frankly exhausting. You guys have fun, imma take a nap.
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doozi's transformers fic rec list round one!!
📚 FIC REC MASTERLIST
Ehehehe Transformers time. First round is all reader inserts because I love reader inserts and ik a lot of people who follow me here enjoy them too :] Next round will probably be a mix of other ship stuff (aka. anything but reader inserts LMAO)
For those of you who are new here, this will be VERY long. I like to chatter a LOT. And for those that have seen any of my other rec lists... you know what's up.
The STATUS of each fic is labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued or Indefinite Hiatus. Oneshots are also marked accordingly.
Fics with Explicit content and/or Dark themes have also been labelled to the best of my memory. (I don’t mark fics with suggestive themes/moments and no explicit smut, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death, gore, or other upsetting topics are central to the plot, I [probably] won’t mark it as "dark".)
I've also done my best to label each of these with which continuity they (broadly) exist in, if it's relevant. If it's not labelled it's likely because it's because I couldn't decide on a tag and/or it's set in an AU divorced enough from any specific continuity that I figured that a tag would just be a disservice to any sort of filtering. Either that, or I just missed it LMAO.
Also, usually I try not to include TOO many fics with explicit content in these lists because my blog isn't specifically 18+ but uhhhh some of these are Pretty Damn Explicit, so use your best judgement while reading and all that 👍
Please tread carefully while reading, check tags, take breaks, drink water and HAVE FUN <3
=========================
MULTICHAPTERS
Words and Wishes - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Finished
One of the first few TF fics I read!! I'm a big fan of first contact AUs and linguistics so I fell in love with this fic immediately. I also fell in love with Swerve immediately. He's SO freakin cute in this. I read it before finishing IDW and so when I eventually got to Swerve in the comics I was like "OHHH!!! That's Swerve!? My beloved shooting star..."
The author's other work in the series (same premise, different character), Fox in Shining Armor is also HELLA cute.
Reciprocated - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Finished
The reader has a teeny tiny lil crush on Soundwave, which he discovers while monitoring Autobot communications. He continues listening in and begins to feel the same :]!
This one makes me cry every time I read it, it's just SO sweet and lovely and just. AUGH!!! There's no words for how freakin CUTE it is. I've read it soooo many times.
Flick of the Wrist - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
More first contact crashlandings!! Except it's WHIRL which is so so fun. He causes much property damage and you wouldn't trade him for the world.
The Angel of Highway 49 - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
One of my favourite authors!!! I was so heckin excited when I realised they were posting Transformers fic LMAO.
And rightfully so! The fic is fantastic so far- Optimus becomes a sort of ghost story, a stranger who helps people along the highways. He's confusing and comforting and he's seemingly taken it upon himself to protect you.
Social Media Etiquette - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
The start of this is a really funny concept (buncha coworkers discussing which Autobot they'd bang) and then it just continues on being super super adorable and sweet. I love TFA!Prowl and I love the way he's written in this!!!
Swaps seamlessly between cute romantic trysts and the absolute chaos of other people watching these two wander into love.
winter of our youth - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Ultra Magnus accidentally ends up with a human companion who mostly wants to get back to their own life, only for both to become steadily more entangled. I absolutely adore the vibes in this fic- it feels slow, soft, and bright like a world muffled by snow.
west texas wind - [ G1 ] - Protectobots/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
By the same author as above! Protectobots my BELOVED. It's so soft and sweet and auuauauhghhh I need more. It updated while I was in the middle of writing this list and just ahh! I LOVE IT. So cute. So sweet. I love seeing the different characters reactions to each other and their actions- it's so fun.
You should also go check out their other fics, because the way they write character dynamics is sooo lovely, and their fics have been Nourishing me because I'm in love with a lot of characters that rarely get reader inserts :'> !!!
In particular I'm a fan of: haunt, invisible string, their prowl fics (<- two links!!!), AND also this set of oneshots; glory !
empurata - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
As a neutral party in all this war stuff, you just want to help fix up bots. This ends up endearing you to both factions, which results in you befriending one explosive Wrecker, and sometimes hosting a bunch of Decepticons in your garage.
TFP setting with a dash of IDW lore <3 I love the way the relationships develop in this fic- Shcokwaves emotions (or lack of) is always fun to explore, especially in the context of love and having Romantic Feelings. It gets even more complicated when the thing preventing him from feeling things begins to malfunction...
Small Hands - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader, Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Soulmate AU!! Oohoho I love soulmate AUs... having THIS one be handprints is an especially fun, considering the size difference !!! Also, I love the way Cybertronian soulmates work :0
OP and the reader interacting and slooooowly figuring things out is very sweet.
knock us down and we'll keep on going - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Who knew deleting your ex off of social media would lead to you getting kidnapped by a car then falling for said car? KO and the reader get to be an iconic bi4bi couple, and you also get a cat! Who's totally normal and not a decepticon. Very very cute, funny, and also angsty in parts in a really good way (Breakdown... he only shows up in mentions but my HEART ;w;)
Series is ongoing, but the fics are finished :]
Breaking Bread - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Some sorta warning for the SHEER AMOUNT OF HORNY that the characters experience in this (/appreciative)]
There is no way I can make a TF fic rec list and NOT include the fic that made me SO unwell about TFP Soundwave before I got into Transformers. Phenomenal writing, snappy dialogue and absolute CHAOS and CHEMISTRY (both of the romantic and literal kind).
The various animal-related descriptors of all the bots are cemented in my brain as well as several playlists worth of music. My Spotify will never recover.
I was already attached to Soundwave from the start, but my absolute favorite animals are jellyfish, so when that parallel was drawn, I swooned even harder... ALAS. *gives a sad, sidelong glance at the main ship tag*
Also, I'm in love with the Anime-Waifu-Madness-slash-Marriage-Counselling-Arc that's going on at the moment because HOW did we get here and WHY does it work so well????
Fortuna Primigenia - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Same author as the previous fic! I originally read this immediately after catching up with Breaking Bread and it absolutely destroyed me (and my sleep schedule)!! I cried!! So much!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! Fascinating concepts, and wonderful execution. Makes me want to eat drywall.
ALSO while I'm here, you should also read Blackbird [E] because the reader realising their "metal Adonis" is a "liar and a pussy" made me laugh so hard I cried for a different reason and it's also really good my god.
50% Plant Based - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
HYSTERICAL fic. Really funny. The reader is a menace and I'm living for it. You haunt the Nemesis and somehow seduce Megatron with your Silly Guy wiles, and also by bullying Starscream. The reader is incapable of expressing any genuine emotion without like 10 layers of Humor on top of it, which is hilarious when combined with an overly poetic warlord who feels every emotion with the dramatics of a Shakespearean play.
And I met you in the rain - [ G1-ish ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Prowl is down bad for a human that he's been seeing in his dreams and gets the chance to save her when he happens upon her in the rain. This fic reminds me of a romance movie in the best ways.
Romantic Mixtape Side A - [ G1-ish ] - Con Cassettes/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
You kiss a buncha cassettes after one of them crashes through your wall! Domestic and cute for the large part- you get them to all be nicer to each other sjkdfhskjdf
Slice of life, but with big alien bots <3
Revelboo's Fic Collection - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Go read Revelboo's fics now!!! She updates So Fast it scares me. But I'm eating them up like candy because each installment is bite sized and delicious.
My favourites so far are the fics for Jazz, Sunstreaker+Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Thundercracker, ES!Megatron, Rumble and Prowl but oh my god every single one of them is amazing. OH AND THE ONE WITH THE SCAVENGERS. If you think that's a long list of characters, that's because the actual list of ongoing fics is EVEN LONGER.
They're also up on Ao3 if you prefer to read stuff there :]!!
D-16 (Megatron) x Reader – The Creature From Another World - [ TFOne ] - D16 | Megatron/Reader - Finished
Have I mentioned I love language barriers? It's so fun. Everyone thinks you're a fun little creature... until you get your translator fixed of course :]
The ending of this is so perfectly tragic and it fits so well with D-16's transition into becoming Megatron!!
Canary in a Coal Mine - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains dark themes]
The Decepticons won and have taken over Earth, enslaving humanity and leaving razed ground in their wake. Your voice is the only thing you truly have to yourself any more,
This fic leaves a bitter and gritty taste in your mouth. I love it.
Crosscheck on Angels 10 - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
After Starscream strikes it out on his own, you end up becoming an unexpected light in the darkness for him, much to the concern of Ratchet.
I really like how Arcee's anger is portrayed in this- it feels so visceral.
They Just Wanted to Relax - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
You work with automobiles and one day you begin getting a buncha weeeeeeird customers. I love the reader slowly putting the pieces together. It's so fun.
Metal Lung - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
This one is just starting out and I'm HOOKED already. The premise is fantastic, and it's paired with some extremely evocative writing.
The reader is an agent of MECH who ends up infiltrating the Decepticons after signing their death sentence and stepping inside the MECHA they've been working on...
Adrift in the Lagoon - [ IDW ] - Mer!Drift/Reader - Finished
Mermechs...... Drift as a mermech... *swoons* be still my beating heart!! He's really freaking cute in this, I wanna kiss him and smoosh his cheeks.
TwinTails - [ G1-(f)ish ] - Mer!Sideswipe/Reader, Mer!Sunstreaker/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Captive mer fic >:]c !!! You're a scientist who works with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, helping them and growing closer. You eventually help them escape of course, but that comes with it's own slew of problems.
I!! Love!! Language barriers!!! And this does not disappoint! I'm fascinated and delighted by the eventual work around for the language barrier as well, because it's nit perfect but it works and it's so cool to see both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker finding their own ways to communicate and connect with the reader in this.
Smut is skippable in this, but why would you want to do that? It's amazing :3c
Marine Centre -Merformers AU - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Even MORE mer fic. This one has a wider cast of mer which is DELIGHTFUL because you get to see all the different personalities interacting. Also I saw that there's more content with the ladies planned later so I'm DOUBLY excited 💖
Full Throttle - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
You're a janitor tasked with cleaning up after the unethical experiments the military are performing on Starscream, and end up growing close to him as you treat him kindly :]
Gravity - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished
Same author as previous! This time you're one of the scientists tasked with studying Starscream and he gets to be a tremendous menace the entire time. I love that in many ways, he's studying you too.
Displeasures of the Flesh - [ IDW ] Human!Kaon/Reader, Human!Vos/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Gore and horror themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
This is humanformers but it's humanformers if they were FORMERLY bots and that in itself is enough to sell me on the concept because DUDE hell yeah ??
Anyway I love these fucked up little guys. They've got to reckon with suddenly becoming human, and you've got to deal with THEM.
Best Job Ever - [ Bayverse/ROTB ] Mirage/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
CARWASHING EHEHEHE. You get a certain customer who keeps requesting you wash his car... and well, the second chapter is explicit :]
Hit Me Hard (Hit Me Fast) - [ TFP ] Knock Out/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Sometimes the cute guy you've been talking to turns out to be a talking walking car alien, and you have Feelings about that!!
Decadence - Starscream/Reader, Shockwave/Reader, Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Gore and horror themes]
I absolutely love the descriptions in this fic. Deliciously disgusting, it's not for the light of heart. Everything in this fic feels Squishy and visceral and I love it.
You're a paramedic, called to the sight of a grisly and unusual accident. Even more unusual is the giant metal angel who appears to terrorize you.
sugar (daddy), oh, honey honey - [ TFA ] - Swindle/Reader - Oneshot
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
The DYNAMIC between Swindle and the reader in this one. My god. MY GOD. He's your sugar baby essentially kjhfksjfh,, it's a mutually beneficial agreement!! I would let my bank account get drained by him.
"Improving alien relations" sounds better than "a really nice hook-up" - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Oneshot
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
The title is self explanatory sdjfhskdfh <3 You're a human in a mech suit and Swerve's got his holoform going... I'd make a joke but the author already did that in the summary LOL. He's such a sweetheart...
To live, and to serve - [ TFOne ] - Sentinel Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
TFOne!Sentinel Prime is his own warning- the relationship is Not Good At All but it is so fun to read. He's so awful and I wanna kiss him. Grahhh I love this nasty man!!!
To Endure - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Timeloops my BELOVED. The reader gets stuck in a timeloop along with Soundwave. Both of them are working towards opposite outcomes and the reader decides they're going to make it Soundwave's problem. Humans are squishy after all...
I love the push and pull between Soundwave and the reader in this <3
Our thoughts are all mechanical - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
You're suffering from energon poisoning, and the only cure? Cuddles!! No, like, legit. You get many many medically incurred cuddles.
Very very sweet fic! So much mutual pining... 💖!!
Enough - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Finished
Things end happily but ehehehe I am eating up the sweet sweet misunderstandings and angst in this fic. Makes me want to vibrate out of my seat.
To Fake a Funeral - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Another newer fic! It's just started out but it's so good already... the reader is Jack's sister and gets into a bunch of shenanigans when she returns to Jasper on a temporary break from college. Like getting captured so you csn fix up the comatose leader of the Decepticons and meeting the Autobots who your little brother has been hanging out with.
Klik away - [ IDW2/G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Prowl gets saddled with a very unfortunate human until they can be returned to earth. Despite their differences, both end up growing fond of each other :]
ALSO. GREEN IS HERE. 🥺✨ Baby baby baby I love her!!
~* Gladiators of Kaon *~ - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content...?]
Rhhghdgh I'm not all the way caught up on this one yet (thus the question mark in the warning. I Know it's coming) but I'm adding it anyway because what I HAVE read I'm in love with. It's set before the war, so we get gladiators Megatron and Soundwave >:33c!! Also I'd put my life on the line for Swindle. He's such a little GUY.
The author's other series Butterfly Effect [E] (ft. a human reader) is also really good!!
The Darkest Hour (Optimus x You) - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
I'm really enjoying where this is going so far >:3c! The reader is a reporter who is dedicated to uncovering the truth, but is also prone to lying in order to get where the information they need ;] I'm so unwell over their dynamic in this fic.
Burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Auuauuiahgh Ultra Magnus..... after getting into a fight with Knock Out within sight of a human, he ends up with you as a companion. Groundbridge is broken, so cue a very long, unplanned roadtrip. It's sooo good.
Spilling Sugar - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Poly!!! Triad!!!!!!! Soundwave/Reader/Shockwave!!! They are sooooo cute. I love polyamory negotiations and figuring things out and AHHH I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY. The reader teaching Shockwave texting shorthand and emotes is so cute... AUUIGGHD MY HEART auuuauuhgh.
More reader inserts need to let me kiss multiple characters and for them to kiss each other. Love is love is love. Where are all the TF poly reader inserts I need more!!!
=========================
ONESHOTS
Universal Constant - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
Series of soulmate oneshots!! I love these. I especially enjoyed the ones for Fulcrum, TFP Ratchet, Dratchet (!!! YES!! POLY!!!!) and TFA Prowl <3
One to One - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
More!! Soulmate oneshots!! I love all of them :']]!!!! They're all just really really good I can't pick any favorites skdjfjkhfh
Locks To Fit the Keys - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
This one has it so that Cybertronians can only transform once they find their soulmate- as such, locks, keys... there are so many oneshots in this collection and I adore all of them. This was another one I read before I got into TF LMAO so it was fun going back and rereading them now I know who everyone is XD
Also, not all of these have happy endings >:3c!!! Many do, but not all, and I love that!!
Passing thoughts; obscurest bots - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
A series dedicated to lovin on obscure bots and side characters!! I've linked it to the SFW edition, which includes Defensor and Pipes, both of whom I love dearly.
Poly-Combaticons X Reader – Hostage - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot
Wanna smooooch a gestalt? I wanna smooch a gestalt. You're taken hostage and this bunch ends up growing fond of you, and decide to break you out because you're theirs now.
Code: LOVE - [ G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
KJRAHRJKHFJF I love this one so much. The reader dresses up in a sexy police outfit for Prowl, except he's kinda oblivious, something that the rest of the base is more than happy to clear up for him, much to his and your detriment. It's extremely funny and cute.
Can't Keep Up - [ TFA ] - Blurr/Reader - Oneshot
You find out your best friend and racing partner IS the car he drives when you're unexpectedly ambushed by Decepticons.
softest spot to sleep in - [ G1 ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot
Titties........... medically prescribed titties... !! Very cute, very soft. I want this to be real... Like Ratchet's boobs
Making Space - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader - Oneshot
You spend some time sitting in a very intimate position as Optimus does desk work. He places you between his legs and I'm. hrhghjkjfjkks,, thighs.
RELIC I JUST REALISED YOU WROTE THIS ONE. I'VE BEEN UNWELL OVER IT FOR SO LONG. THIGHS. MY GOD.
Copy - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
The reader has a very fun power in this >:3c I won't spoil it because I think it's better experienced, but oh my god the bit at the end where the reader's reveal fails at first had me in stitches. Really fun and very cute.
kindness - [ IDW ] - Sunstreaker/Reader - Oneshot
Sunstreaker is freakin ADORABLE in this <3!! It's set on the Lost Light as well, which is a rarity that I love.
Our Shirt - [ IDW ] - Spinister/Reader - Oneshot
I'm a sucker for Spinister!!! My beautiful dumbass heli!! Short and sweet akjhsdkjf
Booty Shorts - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Oneshot
WHIRL IN BOOTY SHORTS, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?
Based off of this fantastic piece of artwork! I think this was the one of the first times I read anything relating to Whirl and it was such a delightful introduction.
The Concept of Cohabitation - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot
Reader is dating Swindle, but due to Combiner Feels, the others end up feeling the same way, and well... you're not complaining ;]! Focus is on Onslaught in this, but the other ships are very much implied.
The Last Time This Happened Megatron X Reader - Megatron/Reader - Oneshot
The reader is a dimension hopper, and gets stuck in a cave with Earthspark!Megatron. You've seen him die again and again throughout dimensions, and now... it might be your turn. Very sweet and sad... the reader carrying the weight of half a dozen histories is so good.
This Is Not A Negotiation - [ IDW(SG) ] - Shattered Glass!Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
Shattered Glass Rodimus... I love him despite his shitty little moustache. The reader runs around in a mech suit and he doesn't realise that they're human until both of them catch Feelings >:)))!!! Really really fun premise, and deliciously written.
Scout and Medic - [ TFP ] - Arcee/Reader - Oneshot
You're Arcee's partner and the two of you get the chance to reunite on Earth! Short and sweet :D
Fated Nonsense - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader/Breakdown - Oneshot
Unrequited pining? Kinda? Essentially the reader keeps running into two handsome cars and they pine for the funny little human they keep seeing around. Very very cute, even though you don't know they aren't just cars. WAIT I JUST REALISED THAT THIS IS THE SAME AUTHOR AS RECIPROCATED HANG ON-
Woke Up In A Safe House, Singing - [ TFP ] - Airachnid/Reader - Oneshot
Because of that realisation, I also now have more fics to add to the list!! AIRACHNID MY BELOVED. I absolutely adore how intimidating but gentle she is in this fic. Very very sweet. Get you a big spider lady to treat you right!!!!
Alien Parenting 101 - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Oneshot
You are babysitting your roommates kid and are summoned to the Nemesis, where nobody is immune to Cute Baby. I'm gonna cry it's so cute...!!!
Of All The Mechs... - [ TFA ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot
Your gaze ends up lingering a little too long on the enemy. Little baby me is cheering and whooping at the back of my brain because TFA Starscream was my fav when I was a kid.
Butterscotch - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
Cuteeeeee. Movie night with a very smitten Prowl who doesn't know what to do with himself. Cuddles ensue <33 Soooo so cute!!!
Pen And Paper - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
Seems like Megatron has an admirer... he takes it upon himself to find out whoever has been leaving him such detailed and beautiful artworks. SO CUTE.
Hypothetically speaking - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
So... hypothetically speaking, if there was a fic that was super cute and funny about the reader hypothetically liking Rodimus in which they decide to confess to him in hypotheticals...well, hypothetically, would you read it? (The fic is filled with hypotheticals and silly cuteness!!)
Take a Break - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot
Very cute!! You force Ratchet to take a break for once, and the two of you spend some time watching the sunset :]!
Swoop - [ G1 ] - Thundercracker/Reader - Oneshot
He's so smooth in this!!! My little heart can't take it!! Smooth moves TC, smooth moves. So cute!
Runway 19 - [ G1/IDW-ish ] - Jazz/Reader - Oneshot
A soft, slow fic which details the growing tension between a government agent and their car. The quiet intimacy of this fic kills me, it's sooo good...
=========================
PLATONIC & AMBIGUOUS
Platonic reader inserts!! Because I love them and I think they should get more attention <3 (Also includes fics which are tagged with both / and &, or otherwise ambiguously romantic/platonic fics)
In Media Bellum - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
This fic has me in a vice grip. I love love love the mysteries and the dynamics between the reader and the other characters. It's so fascinating to see the dynamics unfold. This fic makes me feel so many things!!!
Sparkless - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
You get a Vehicon friend and a lot of scares along the way :]!! I love! Fics like this!!!
Critter - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader || Soundwave&Reader - Oneshot
Giant metal creatures can be scary, no matter how well meaning or kind they might be. Soundwave finds the reader after an Incident with the Autobots, and he is very attentive and gentle with them. Makes me feel soft!!
Too Close For Comfort - [ IDW ] - Rodimus&Reader - Finished
Language barriers >:3c!!!!! Mmmm Rodimus thinking of himself as heroic when he's unintentionally the opposite is one of my favourite flavours of Rodimus, and this series tackles that in a really fun way. The opposing perspectives are SO good and I love that the same scene is seen in such different ways by characters. The tension that grows throughout the series is So good.
I especially enjoyed Sparkbeat, A Game of Mech and Mouse AND ALSO Darkness is Honest, Are You to Yourself? because I love hopeful endings <3
Playing With His Food - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot
You get into a dogfight with an unusual sort of plane and Starscream finds himself a new toy of sorts :3c I really enjoy that there's a language barrier but we as the audience still get to know what Starscream is saying. AUGH I love the dialogue. So good.
Snow Angel - [ G1 ] - Skyfire&Reader - Oneshot
You get lost in the snowy wilderness, but luckily you are found by some sort of angel... I looooove this so much. I love the delayed reaction the reader has because of the cold... and Skyfire is so gentle, it makes my heart skip a beat every time I read this.
Ignition - Ratchet&Reader - Finished
More first contact stuff!!! Ratchet stumbles across an injured human after crash landing on Earth. He tries to help, with mixed results. Again, I'm a big fan of language barriers, and I enjoyed Ratchet figuring out how to help the human to the best of his ability without being abke to properly communicate at the beginning. The moment when commutation IS established is also very funny to me sbfjdbdk
I love Transformers. I love Stardew Valley. This fic mashes them both together in a really fun way!! You, as per Stardew Valley fashion, inherit your grandfather's farm, except you end up finding a dog and a strange... doll? One becomes many and soon you have the entire (tiny!) Lost Light crew living with you.
The Season of the Smallest Stars - [ IDW/Stardew Valley Crossover ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
Supremely cute. I love all the little adventures everyone gets to go on.
The Tyrant's Consideration - [ Earthspark ] - Megatron/Terran!Reader || Megatron&Terran!Reader - Oneshot
Crashout Relations - [ G1-ish ] - Thundercracker/Reader || Thundercracker&Reader, Seeker Trine&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
I came across this one while putting the list together and I'm so glad for it- it's brilliant and tense so far. A big blue seeker crashes into your backyard and flees (drags himself) into your barn. Your plan of moving to a farm so you'd be left alone doesn't seem to be working out too well...
Very very sweet!! The reader is a Terran who is selectively mute, and they have a run in with Megatron, who turns out to be much less scary than you imagined.
I've included this here because the fic contents isn't Specifically Romantic, and also from what I understand of ES, the Terrans are usually portrayed to have a familial relationship to the Cybertronians, but please correct me if I'm wrong!!
Neon-Green Spandex Missile - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
You're a Cybertronian(?) who transforms into a BIKE and your name is... the title. No, seriously that's how you introduce yourself and it's great. Very fun fic!
I.O.U - [ IDW ] - Tarn&Reader - Finished
Weird fae rules and worlds??? Strange size-swapping magics?? Sign me UP. Tiny Tarn is So angy but cute. I adore characters getting tied to one another via unintentional magical pact, it's so fun...
These Caves We Venture Through - [ G1/Earthspark ] - Megatron&Reader, Sideswipe&Reader - Finished
=========================
Series ongoing, fics are finished! You're a kid who stumbles across Megatron while off exploring. Years later, you encounter him again. Very sweet and melancholic at times.
OKAY that's all I've got for reader inserts that aren't just... purely explicit content LMAO.
If I included those I'd be here forever, but yknow, if you are interested in seeing that list... let me know and I'll smash one together in the future (on my. other blog of a sqwyrme-ier sort.) Either way, I'll be putting together the list of other ship fics next :]
Also!! If you have any recs for me, please feel free to drop by my inbox!! I'd love to read them <3
#fic recs#doozis fic recs#velwy.txt#rhjfhdj idk. do i tag this? sure why not#macaddam#transformers#it was so fun putting this together because i kept adding fics and being like. WAIT THIS IS BY THE SAME AUTHOR AS THAT OTHER FIC...#because when i read i just. do not see usernames#too used to tumblr /j#tbh i probably missed quite a few of my favs but thats ok. i have more lists to make in the future.#also i realised i probably miss out on quite a lot of good fic because i dont. peruse the tags for more popular characters *cough cough* op#also megs tag as well. like. i like them but they arent my Favs so i dont go lookin for content.........#anyway ive rambled MORE THAN ENOUGH LIKE GOOD LORD DID YOU SEE THE TEXT AT THE TOP. CJFKFBDK#im gonna post this before i think my way out of it and try adding more fics
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@gameo-archive another one for the collection!
About playing characters with dual ages.
Transcript under the read more...
Transcript:
Jayden: Hello, Pip!
Jayden: Thank you so, so much for requesting a cameo from me and George, we really appreciate all your support of the show, and we are eternally grateful for being able to do this for you. So, you have said, "I adore how you portray Charles and Edwin and their friendship, thank you both. I watch Dead Boy Detectives for the PLOT: Pretty Lads Overcoming Trauma."
George: That's exactly what the acronym's for.
Jayden: That is the plot.
George: Well, I'm not sure about the pretty part.
Jayden: Well... well...
George: But lots of trauma.
Jayden: "How was it, playing characters with dual ages, who are simultaneously teenagers but also decades/a century older?"
Jayden: Well, what were our ages in the show? We worked it out. If we were alive in the show you would've been...
George: A hundred and twenty-three.
Jayden: And I would've been...
Both: Forty-eight!
[Both laugh]
Jayden: I mean... I mean, for me, it was super easy because obviously my parents kind of grew up around that era so I just kind of slipped into their shoes while I playing the character and, I mean, playing sixteen was just... I dunno, shave as much as you can.
George: Every. Day.
Jayden: And keep drinking water so your skin doesn't dry up.
George: True.
Jayden: What about you, playing a hundred and twenty-three?
George: Well, I've felt old for years.
Both, in a hoarse voice: It's been eighty-four years...
George: I... I would say, like to kind of make a long story short, a lot of the outer of Edwin I could play as the sort of 1916, well he died then, but his sort of inner is like a sixteen year old, so that was kind of the main distinction. But it was really fun to play and sort of figure out which scenes, or which beats, I'd want to honour kind of the 1900s really, the Edwardian era one versus the 2023 one.
Jayden: We got to really play about with that, didn't we?
George: Yeah.
Jayden: There was definitely scenes where I think the eras that our characters were from like really showed.
George: Yes.
Jayden: And then there were other times where you can clearly see that these are just two sixteen year old boys.
George: Yeah, I think that was such a unique thing about the show, cause it's set in the modern day context, seeing them kind of react to modern day things, like how Charles reacts to someone like Crystal, or like...
Jayden: Or how Edwin reacts to someone like Crystal!
[Both laugh]
George: True! Or like how they react, like episode 5 was so fun because we got to see what a modern day high school was like.
Jayden: We got to see what an Edwardian boy wandering around a modern school was like.
George: True. And so did our disguises.
Jayden: Yeah.
George: Shout out to Vince and Lauren... the fish are washing away the runes!
[Both laugh]
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bun-chan❗️
#doodles while catching up on some boonboomger#i'm not that great at drawing mecha-y designs but bundorio's super cute! so i wanted to give it a try#i drew shirabe's portrait as a warm-up more in my usual expertise but she also just looked super fun to draw#sorry for being offline lots! 🙏 tbh i've been super artblocked for a while and it sets me all out of sorts 👉👈#i'm working on it though!! there being some shows i've been anticipating next month helps a bit too hehe#krsketch#boomransketch
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the urge to talk my head off vs. the calm of quiet vs. the Thoughts
#just me hi#vs. the Spookiness#anyway i have not been able to focus at all today#which could be credited to me staying up til like 1 a.m. last night#which i really don't know why i did. the mysteries of this world!!#/anywho thinkin about the Pink again#mostly the magic system cuz i'm still working out the kinkssssssss#like there's Camouflage and Minor Transformation and then there's also inventories which is just a bit of fun for me hbfhs#but that's jumping ahead of ritual Types- and then also jumping ahead of how the magic system works on itself so yea lol :)#//oh yea also bc i am a master at procrastinating lmao--#tryna figure out where i'd want pi.e to be mainly posted cuz i hate vertical scroll but also don't know if i want to put pages up seperatel#cuz i dunno.. i don't really like that for my own thang too much hfhsh#yea though.. still tryna figure that out#// oh i've gotta finish some stuff i'm drawing too lol#i am drawing a gun in perspective which isn't fun for two awesome reasons:#i don't draw guns#i funkin hate perspective so bad can somebody get me out of here hello lmfshvhg#anyway aside from that it's alright hghfjshv :3#/and ik i'm sort of apprehensive abt cussing online (that's for a couple reasons pfsvh) but i'm prolly gonna leave this uncensored#just cuz like. i Do have a mouth on me and i'd like to use it now and then hbfsh :)#and also saying this so i don't back out. you hear me [<- pointing at self]#yea though!! gonna finish this :3#/got apollo in here to see if i drew this thang right and i DID YIPEEEE#he's like super super into guns and has given me very long lectures when i draw them poorly so this is like winning a 5k HFbvhsjh#YAYYY i am Winning out here hgsbvhf#OKAY i'm gonna pop off to finish what i'm doin now :3#making food and drawing. two things that are not done effectively while typing lol#YE going now.. i'm going.. oo.. i'm gone.. ohh... toodles pfshv :D !!
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Oh hey actually I can't do some of the stuff till after my dad leaves for his night shift (ya know to make sure I don't hold him up and stuff) so I have bit of time so I have two thoughts to share right now!
I'm seeing an increase of 'Mangle in the Pizzaplex' art and stuff in the tags and it's really funny that my brain sometimes jumps at it like "QUICK!!! You NEED to make your Mangle stuff NOW otherwise everyone's gonna think you're copying or be so bored of seeing her no one will like it!" Like bro. Who cares? Who gives a shit? No one is ever going to make a Mangle like mine and I'm never gonna make a Mangle like anyone else's that's how it works. Literally who give a shit lmao calm down it's all fun to see
On another note, I've also been seeing a lot of dogs chewing through raw carrots so I've decided that Meteors Roxy also does that. Just sits there cronching her way through either a carrot or an apple or something, no thoughts head empty to unwind a bit. She deserves it
#meteors au#pop rox talks#meteors roxy#keeps her busy for a while lmao#also on the mangle thing#yeah I have a pizzaplex mangle and I love seeing other people's pizzaplex mangle's it's great#my brain just reminds me of my own Mangle whenever I see it and sometimes it tries to get me to make Mangle stuff by convincing me there's#- a time limit on it lmao#there isn't it's fiiiine#I'll try designing her soon cause she's very cool and it's not a style of thing I'm overly familiar with so it's a fun challenge!#I DO have her story all set up and ready to go though#I use her in Sewercontrol and she's in lesbians with Roxy's predecessor lmao#though I have to revise that cause I'm not. sure it's gonna come across in the healthiest way for them as it stands#but I love them as a pair so I just have to move the start of their feelings a bit for it to work again#which I hadn't even decided on in the first place so it's all good!#it's not relevant to Mangle's story anyway but her story IS massively reliant on the old Roxy's and a Foxy's#and it spills over into a Chica's who I've not finalised a story for yet#but anyway yeah I've been coming up with new stuff that has nothing to do with Mangle at all#so as you can see this was super relevant to everything lmao sfdsfds#I can and will talk about my Pizzaplex Mangle though if anyone wants me to because I love her#she's cool as shit#AND I love her nicknames for both Roxy's.#and they 100% stick so it's what everyone in Sewercontrol calls them now lmao#modern roxy gets used to it eventually lmao
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OC Superlatives Tag Game
Thank you for the tag @the-lastcall 💖����
The Favorite
I don't think this comes as a surprise to anyone. Faith is so very dear to me she is quite literally a part of myself. She brings me so much comfort and has been an outlet for me for the past like? 3 years?? Gosh look at how far she's come. She helps remind me that everything is going to be okay.
The Oldest
While technically I have some ocs that are even older than her, Cookie is my first self insert lmao. Nowadays I don't think any but a couple of y'all would even know who she is and that makes me a lil sad! She's very special to me and was very beloved by people who meant a lot to me. Very few know me and her story well enough to see how on the nose it is an escape from my own life. Not shown here but she has burn scars on her right wrist/forearm. An exaggeration of my own burn scar in the same place. Cookie has always been there as a way to not feel alone, to see myself in someone who has been through similar experiences and made it out through the other side. To remember why it's so important to keep fighting.
The Newest
Okay maybe not the newest.. but Iris is the newest oc I've actually been putting a lot of time and love and effort into! I love her a lot! I know I still don't talk abt her as in depth as I would like to but I swear she's got more going on than I share. I just can't help wanting to draw her so self-indulgently full of love all the time, it makes me happy to have silly fun! I really really have been meaning to doodle her more vulnerable and serious moments because she's got a lot of grief in her heart she isn't letting out.
The Meanest
I suppose she was going to have to make her debut sooner or later.. okay but I genuinely don't have much to say abt Poppy. She's been a priv exclusive oc for a lil while and she's not developed.. like.. at all.. I ramble about her a LOT but I'm also literally every day scrapping everything bc my ideas are constantly changing so she's fr not ready yet lmao. Even I don't fully know what her deal is yet! But I can confirm she is the most ruthless (should I admit she's my lowkey nuka-world raider oc I made specifically to fuck Porter Gage nasty as hell likeeeee)
The Softest
Maril is my BABY!! She does not have a mean bone in her body and the closest she'll ever get is when she's defending her friends! She's so generous, she wants to help others any chance she gets and sees the best in everyone.
The Most Standoffish/Aloof
Faith is quite reserved, honestly. Becoming Captain wasn't exactly the life she chose for herself but it was the role she had to take on. For Phin, for her crew, for Halcyon, it was something she would grow to take seriously in time. She doesn't like to let on just how stressed and overwhelmed she is until she crashes and burns and has to be forced to rest before her stomach ulcer incapacitates her (speaking from experience, it's excruciating). When allowed to, she's pretty quiet and keeps to herself. She was never exactly the most social person and struggled to maintain any sort of relationship with anybody. She'll eventually warm up to her crew and come out of her shell. Sometimes you just need to meet the right band of misfits who get you.
The Smartest
I swear this isn't just me tooting my own horn. I genuinely built her character favoring her intellect and charm. Her highest levels were in engineering, science, and medical. She's got a head on her shoulders, and she's often pretty lost in it. Faith loves to build and tinker with things and loves reading and learning as much as she can. One her own comforts, really. Maril and Iris aren't necessarily too far off on this one, Faith just has a little more under her belt. (Maril is also dedicated almost exclusively to being a gummi ship mechanic and Iris is best at carpentry!)
The Dumbest
Poppy is by no means a moron and shouldn't be underestimated. But her skills and knowledge are very strong in fighting and survival. She does however qualify as my dumbest oc here because.. she was my melee heavy idiot savant build! Girl never at any point got a single level put into her INT lmao.
The One I'd be Friends With
Hands down Maril would be the bestest friend I could ask for. She would be so sweet and considerate and let's be real.. I'd want to also work on the gummi ships with her. I love my gals but I just know Maril would be a ray of sunshine and a great friend. She'd also love to listen to me talk abt all my own projects and we could build so many cool things together..
#this was super fun I've been wanting to work on it for a while but!! i wanted cool lil oc banners too#okay it's super late and I should def be sleeping so I'm gonna pass tf out as soon as I hit the post button fr fr#hopefully everything I wrote was coherent lmao I try to save these for when I'm actually awake but I was too excited to finally work on it#ocs#captain of the unreliable#sole survivor#maril highwind
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I've been watching a lot of Omega Strikers guide videos lately and the one thing all of them have in common is that every single one of them highlights the importance of "just have fun".
That's something people say all the time, about any game. But there was one guide I watched yesterday, and in addition to giving that tip, also mentioned the importance of not being toxic and blaming your losses on your teammates.
This is genuinely the most helpful tip of all time. Like this guide really grilled into me just how horrible having that toxic mentality is. The full first minute of the video was dedicated to that. He also talked about how being toxic and playing w that mentality actively makes you worse at the game, period. Full stop. And he explained the reasoning for that as well.
I've heard this said and yeah I believe it as well, but this was the first time I'd ever had it thoroughly explained to me. It really put things into perspective for me.
Hoping I can improve at both Omega Strikers and Splatoon by keeping this in mind 👍
#The whole 'just have fun' + 'stop blaming others' is smth I've needed heavily reinforced for a while#I'm very bad at just having fun bc I want!!!!! To rank up!!!! So badly!!!!#And my Rasmus is horrible!!!!!#But. These guides have put a lot into perspective#It's so weird for me to actually follow anyone else's advice bc I've never had tk do that when I play splat yk?#Like I've been playing that game for years. I have a good grasp on it and I'm comfortable at the level I play (X rank/Egg vp)#I don't needa get crazy highwr than that#But Omega Strikers? Bro I'm stuck in FUCKING BRONZE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I don't play too much tbh...but it's honestly cuz I'm super scared of ranking down#I also...don't practice...like if I'm playing I only play comp...#Why would I play without stakes...it's less fun to me that way...#But gahhhh maybe I should practice a little bit#Mostly need to work on fundamentals rn#Striking the core; dribbling; learning Rasmus' fucking hitbox + delay on his primary#Reaction time as well#I suck at striking the core bro 😭😭😭 But I will get better...#Mmmight do some practice later...but I wanna practice in quickplay...#Nah...I oughta play normal since it emulates the style of comp
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went outside today! was quite fun ^^
#we went to the place we've been going to for... about six(?) years now#its either five or six.#they recognize me by now!#my dad had gone there while going back from work and was waiting for us#while me and my mom were going she went into her little yarn store (shes in love with crocheting/knitting) so i went ahead of her.#when i went in they were like ''is your mother not coming?'' which was very flattering account of hehe im recognizable#i had chicken wings! which means i ate like a feral cat that hadn't eaten in two days#the only times i shimmy with joy when eating food is when i eat chicken wings. by god they're so good#only if its made like my favorite little places do it. i've gone to burger king once (1) and i absolutely refuse to try anything chicken#theres many of the mainstream english-speaking-country places in super markets but i will never go there. never#they could never do it like this tiny little place we've been going to for years that have an average of zero customers at any given time.#by god i love that place. hope i get to go there for my entire time in high school#we want to move to yenibosna after im done with high school...#we were actually living there when i was an infant! we had to move due to Landlord apparently.#which happened for most of my life.#honest to god i moved every year when in elementary#which means i got to experience four (4) different elementary schools! quite an experience.#the first one i went to elementary in was all the way over in acıbadem (near other side of istanbul on a metrobus)#ahh reminds me of my best friend in first grade. her name was sümeyye i miss her but at the same time i could not care less#it was fun! it was fun. we sneaked out of the elementary during break time to go to the adjacent primary school we used to go to#reminds me fourth grade! there was a primary school next to that one too#is it called a primary school? its not a kindergarden...#oh! sorry. preschool#what was i saying?#well only god knows i cant read my tags. goodbye forever#♚ — rambling !#oh i should talk about my day!#today in english class the teacher did a .. shoobadoowhatsit. can i stop forgetting words#is it called a verbal quiz? verbal exam? verbal something. you understand#hi i ran out of tags. i'll continue in a reblog
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.
#hello#i've actually been active on twitter for the past like 5 years but lately all that website does to me is make me angry#these past few weeks have been walking down memory lane weeks and i was just reading through my tumblr and#those really are super damn good times man#and then i checked and some of my mutuals are still sparsely active here wow hello hi!!#a lot of my followed tags still have a good few posts in them too#ace attorney in particular has like the same amount of notes they did in 2015-2017?? damn#aablr you are still the best fandom community i have ever been a part of#anyway i am kind of considering going back here since my weeby self has been revived due to having to watch anime for work#but i'd need a lot of profile overhaul and also scouring for new people to follow#and clean up my following too maybe#so maybe once i have some free time#but i am heavily considering it#rly want to be actively fandoming again and the state of twitter currently just makes it not a pleasant place to escape for some fandom fun#maybe i'll start sparsely reblogging stuff before the overhaul bcs i just rly need to fill the void (sad)#i've actually been thinking of going back for a WHILE like since twitter's elon era#and literally one of the few accounts that still make me laugh on twitter is exaltiora the tumblr archivist#like the state of twitter is Literally That Bad...#and each time i see her post and laugh i always go like. Why am i not on tumblr#but anyways it's been a while since i've rambled in the tags like this and i'm starting to get carried away lol#either way#hello it's nice to see you all doing well#how do i do this again#shut up hika#ppl still do this right#i need to relearn tumblr culture LOL
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Why is pulling an all dayer harder than pulling an all nighter
#when i lived in Philadelphia i worked nights-ish#like until 11pm at the latest#but i worked in a high energy place and my roommates were nught owls so we would stay up until like 2am hanging out#then id go play with my rats or be on my laptop while they roamed about my room and that lasted about an hour#and then i just stayed awake until 9am when i had to take out my dog. play with him for like an hour#and then sleep five or less hours before i went to work#it was a horrific schedule btw#one of my old roommates is a sleep scientist and when i explained my sleep schedule to her she said#'it wont kill you in a way youll understand'#which is the most ominous thing I've ever heard and it came from the sweetest cat lady poly lesbian with the nicest girlfriend#since then ive gotten a lot better because my job wants me to work at 11am#so now i sleep midnight to 9am and if i work i generally dont nap because my shift takes up prime napping time#but on days i dont work? gotta nap unless im doing something else#today i went to a coffee shop and then the library for a total of like four hours#i was very productive on things that dont have a deadline and arent super important in the long run but they were fun#and i got to drink two lovely energy drinks that taste like orange dreamsicle#then i went to the library and they have little booths for laptop users with charging ports right in the booths#but i didn't get a nap because i did all that and then played unknown armies#and ive been sleepy the whole day. so why could i stay up all night every night in the past but cant last a day without a nap?#im like a toddler#i miss staying up all night actually. the sunrise is nice. but i cant wake up early enough to see it#i once took my little dog on a sunrise walk and then ordered door dash for a bagel breakfast sandwich and a hot chocolate#what a wonderful day. and then i went to work and that job was pretty fun#and i know that was so bad for me to stay up like that. but i kinda miss it#cuz this staying up all day shit is hard
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"Ahh, but you have to not fear death, becau--"
"Oh, cool! Not a problem I'm already dead. Well, half dead!"
...
...
...
"w h a t ? ? ?"
A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy
#it's in the tags anyway so#SO#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right#(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before)#(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever)#and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that#so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia#so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead#(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again)#and i kind of just realized#the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL#OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE#sort of. like an engineering masters.#except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research#but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all.#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams#and my exams went WELL#the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen#i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified#to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people#and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well#and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie#(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him)#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some#oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right...#and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school#i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my#bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in#space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.
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Imagine getting isekai’ed into otome game as a background character, watching the main character going down routes as you live your peaceful, mundane life, but you’ve unknowingly been going down a route as well, a route for a hidden character that you didn’t discover during your time playing the game.
That character being the reason the game has a dark content warning.
Gosh anon, that idea is so good!!!! I didn't know it would tickle all the right places in my brain, but when I started I couldn't stop lol. Love it, thank you for sending it in ♥
If this had one of these super long titles that are tmi it would be:
I got Isekai'ed into an Otome Game as a Background Character and now I Have to Finish It with the Secret Yandere Love Interest!!
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
A serene smile spread over your lips as you watched the two lovebirds in the corner of your coffee shop.
Swirling the milk into a cup, it created a little white heart surrounded by foamy coffee, its aroma drifting into your nose. Had someone told you that the little things like a cup of coffee made with love and care were enough to give you the peace of mind you always wanted in your previous life, you would have laughed at them. For you, it had always been the hustle, the making money, finding a partner, and creating a family. Make everyone proud while being successful, whether it costs you nights of sleep or days without proper meals. But looking at yourself now, it all seemed so far away now, and you let out a content sigh before setting down the cup in front of the customer at the bar.
"You seem happy today," your regular at the counter noted, picking up the cup and taking a moment to appreciate the aroma just like you had. A smile sneaked onto their lips, too, after they took a sip, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell with pride and happiness when they gave you a satisfied nod.
"I am! I'm really getting accustomed to my new life here, it's... been a while since I've been so content."
The truth behind everything that happened to you was something you couldn't speak about lightly. Not when it turned the life you knew upside down, leaving you to start over completely. One day you were an employee of a well-known company, responsible for sales and reports and everything stressful. And the next, you were in your favorite, cozy video game, running the coffee shop the main character liked to visit with all the romance options in the game.
Isekai was the genre that came to mind when you thought about your situation. Luckily you were spared the memories of your death in the real world, the circumstances blurry as you barely remembered going home late from work, only to wake up in this very different universe. Perhaps you were just comatose, and this was a dream. Still, by now, you had managed to slip into your role as the barista of the small coffee shop, a barely mentioned background character, just fine.
Your eyes jumped back to the couple in the corner, giggling and teasing each other over a group project, and you felt an immense relief you weren't reincarnated as the main protagonist and had to go through the years of studying and trying to establish connections with the love interests again. You already did that in your old life, and it wasn't as romantic and fun as the game made it out to be. You only played it because it got your mind off things, the art was pretty, and it had the exact amount of cozy time management you needed to relax. But living as the main character in it? No, thank you!
"Jealous?" your regular teased, and you chuckled, shaking your head. They tapped their—now empty—cup, and you took it from them, replacing it with some water until you had the next cup of coffee ready for them.
"I just think it's cute. I never had someone so interested in me they'd take me out for coffee and share their cake with me when I was younger."
Your words tasted a little bitter on your tongue. Still, you genuinely couldn't wish for anything but the main character's happiness. It was just the feeling of being loved, desired, and wanted that you missed, even though your new life was more than satisfactory despite you feeling a little lonely sometimes.
"Well, it's never too late to start," they chuckled, taking up their fork and cutting off the tip of their strawberry shortcake, including the big chunk of strawberry on top, picking it up and holding it out towards you.
"Oh, I wouldn't dare--"
"I insist! As thanks for the amazing coffee every time I come here."
Nudging your lips with their fork, you let out an awkward chuckle. It was okay, right? They wouldn't sue you for eating the cake they paid for, would they? This was just a silly little game. What could go wrong with you accepting their kindness?
Opening your lips, you let them feed you the cake, taking a moment to let the sweet and fruity notes mix with the fluffy whip cream before you were sent straight to heaven. Not to toot your own horn, but your baking skills had improved so much since you started working at the shop. Who knew you had that in you?
Occupied with the moment of bliss as you let the cake flavor mix in your mouth, you hummed happily before devoting yourself back to making the coffee with a smile on your face. Unaware of your regular fixating on the fork you had just eaten from, staring at it like it was some strange artifact. Your phone dinged softly in its drawer, and you checked it briefly to see the notification pinging up, saying, "Achievement unlocked: Cake-Master - Provide the most delicious cake to your customers."
"Excuse me!" the main character called out to you, stepping up to the counter, and you directed your attention to her, ignoring the little game notification you've been receiving since starting your new life here, the love interest not far away before the two began fighting over who was going to pay the bill this time lovingly. Of course, the love interest won, but you wouldn't have expected it any other way. Seeing the blush on the main character's face after her romance option told her he'd "always take care" of her made you grin like a little fan, and you cheered them on in your head.
By the time you returned to your regular, their knuckles had gone white with how hard they were gripping the fork in their hand, their eyes following the couple who was about to leave. For a moment, it made you wonder if they had a crush on either of them, their sweet interaction surely uncomfortable if that was the case. But you didn't remember there being a jealousy scene in the game. You'd know, almost playing it 100% before your death. There apparently was a secret route you never got but were trying your hardest to achieve. Now you were left to wonder what it entailed.
But the second you returned, they looked up at you, expression softening and the tension disappearing, and you chalked it up to having witnessed a cringe moment that they had gotten so awkward. "Thank you for the cake, that was really nice of you! Do you want another fork?" you asked and were met with a headshake and a smile.
They quickly began eating their cake and complimenting your baking skills, stroking your growing ego when they rubbed their belly.
"I never had a cake that good!" they proclaimed, and you laughed out loud, overjoyed that you had made them so happy.
"Say..." they suddenly spoke up again, leaning on the counter and watching you with gentle eyes. Your heart set out for a second, tension rising as you didn't know what they were going to ask. Ever since you opened the coffee shop, the main character, love interests, and this regular had come by constantly. If you were honest, you enjoyed their visits more and more. Their presence felt like it belonged here with you, and you were a part of something bigger after all, washing away the small, lonely part of you.
And maybe... just maybe... this was how your happy end would play out.
"Are you this nice to every customer?"
Halting your movements, you set aside the brew head that you used on the espresso machine, despite having to clean it, thinking about your answer for a moment. It was a strange question to ask someone who worked in customer service. Still, you appreciated your regular, so you didn't want to give them a snarky answer.
"Uhm, well, I am just trying to make everyone feel welcome! But of course, it's a bit different with my regulars! After all, they come here often, like a second family. So I guess I'm a bit nicer because you really get to know and appreciate these people that stay to chat and tell stories."
"I see," they muttered. "Family, huh..."
After that, you suddenly were swamped with sudden orders, excusing yourself to fulfill them, chatting and laughing with even the people that were just passing by. Maybe you really were just nice? Perhaps this new environment had made you more relaxed and gentle than the harsh world you lived in, and it was showing? But their question was shoved into the back of your mind as you kept fulfilling orders and earning your keep.
Once the rush was over, you returned to your regular, only to find their seat empty. Strange, you thought. You could have sworn that you felt their eyes on you the whole time you were away, but luckily, they didn't walk out on their tab, leaving the money and a folded-up napkin beneath their empty cup for you to find. You quickly stored away the bills, trusting your regular with knowing what they had to pay after so many weeks of the same order.
You were about to throw away their napkin when you noticed some red marks on them, unwrapping the paper to find a note scribbled in what you had to assume was ink.
"You're so beautiful when you laugh."
The surprise wore off quite fast, and you smiled, thinking nothing of it but that it was a nice compliment from your regular. Still, you ended up throwing the napkin away—not knowing if it was dirty, after all—taking the coffee cup and plate to the sink to clean them, overseeing the red tip on the fork that was too dark to be from the strawberry.
The rest of your day was uneventful, and by the time you were closing, you were tired and ready to tug in for the night, wrapping up your business at the shop quickly before walking home. You didn't have a chance to look at your phone since you glanced at the achievement notification, so you took it out, startled when you saw a dozen new messages.
Achievement unlocked: Happy new life - Be content with your new life
Achievement unlocked: A fork for two! - Share a fork with someone special
Achievement unlocked: Jealousy - Make someone special jealous
Achievement unlocked: Soothing - Calm someone special down with your presence
Achievement unlocked: Family - Have someone be moved by your words
Achievement unlocked: The nicest person in town - Be beloved by all, but especially by someone special
Achievement unlocked: Blood in the cup - Have someone hurt themselves at your coffee shop
Achievement unlocked: Wonder-Barista - Complete twenty orders in less than thirty minutes
Achievement unlocked: Strange compliment - Receive a compliment through unusual means
Achievement unlocked: Blooming infatuation - Have someone special fall in love with you
Achievement unlocked: Shop-Pro! - Close the shop twenty times after making a profit from your work
Achievement unlocked: Tired - Hard workers deserve to relax
You blinked a few times, surprised by what you were reading and a little weirded out by some of these achievements. They gave you some extra coins in your shop till and reputation with the townspeople, so you usually didn't mind them. But to say some of their descriptions were weird was an understatement. You couldn't even remember someone getting hurt at your workplace that day.
By the time you reached your apartment, you decided to ignore the strange notifications and just let the day come to an end with a hot bath and your favorite show. But you were startled when your phone suddenly began ringing loudly, even though you had turned off the sound back at the coffee shop after the first notification. The first messages that appeared before you were more achievements, and you stopped turning the key in your door as you read them.
Achievement unlocked: Follower - Have someone special follow you home
Achievement unlocked: Welcome home! - Arrive at home, not alone
Achievement unlocked: Wherever you go, I'll be watching you - Ɨ ΔΜ ΔŁŴΔ¥Ş ŴΔŦĆĦƗŇǤ ¥ØỮ
Lifting your head, you looked around you, glancing over your shoulder and into the courtyard below. No one was out; everyone was at home eating dinner and occupied with their lives. Confused, you swiped all the notifications away before another pop-up appeared.
ALERT! You're about to enter X's route. Do you want to continue?
> Yes > No
Panicked at this point, you pressed "No," but nothing happened. You kept tapping it repeatedly, not understanding what was happening with your phone. But nothing changed, the notification staying in place. The sound of something breaking inside your apartment tore your focus away from your phone, startling you.
You must have finally managed to close it, the pop-up disappearing just as you unlocked the door to your apartment, still having held on to the key when you were surprised by the sound. Darkness and silence greeted you from inside, everything seemingly normal.
Majorly confused, you shook your head, slowly entering the hallway leading inside. "Hello?" you called out, reaching for the light switch. The light flickered on, and... there was no one. Holding your breath, no sound reached your ears, and you groaned, realizing you got freaked out about... nothing.
This wasn't some kind of horror game, and the story never had a murder-solving subplot. True, the ratings for it were kind of strange—it being rated as 18+ on the website—but seriously, what should happen in a cozy little city like the one the game played in? You didn't even think they had a police station here.
Pushing off your shoes as you shrugged off the weird feeling from before, you walked up the hallway to your living room, turning on the light before coming to an abrupt halt. There were broken pieces of glass underneath your living room window, but what really freaked you out came into view only when you lifted your head. You could look into the mirror of your cabinet door from your position, red marker dripping from it as if someone had hastily scribbled on it just seconds ago. You weren't sure it was a pen anymore, judging by its deep red color and the fluidity of it.
"𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺"
Your phone pinged.
Achievement unlocked:
On the Highway to Hell - Unlock the secret route
#isekai#yandere isekai#yandere!isekai#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere oneshots#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#Yandere TW
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I love Izutsumi. She's got a great design, she's a fun addition to the main party, she adds some new tension, and she's honestly one of the reasons I read dungeon meshi in the first place. I mean, "the most cat to ever girl" is an extremely appealing hook to anyone who loves cats and girls (me, I love cats and girls).
However, while I have always liked Izutsumi, I finished the story kind of feeling like I didn't really get her. I felt like I had a decent grasp on her character an character arc (she's a traumatized teen given space to feel safe and open up, and because of that she realizes that she can't grow without letting go of the coping mechanisms she once needed). But I didn't feel like I really understood her role in the story as a whole.
She follows the group of her own accord, after a coincidental meeting and a misunderstanding of what they can do for her. She's never super invested in saving Falin, at least not compared to the rest of the group. Though they do help her escape Maizuru's shackles, and are clearly good for her in general, she doesn't really have a healing Moment with the group the way that Senshi does with the hippogriff soup.
And yet, she gets an entire chapter, the third-to-last chapter, dedicated to exploring her growth and future. She's the one who frames much of the falling action, who lets us check in with everyone. She's the one who helps talk Laios into accepting his role as king. She may join the story part way through, but she is there for most of it. So Izutsumi! What's your deal!?
Well, I think I've come up with an answer, at least for myself, that I really like. Two of them, even! Though they both really work together to form the overall point - Izutsumi is the character that most helps the story face towards the future. Here's why I think that.
So the first of these "ah-ha" moments was when I realized that Izutsumi really is the best supporting evidence for Laios' point about the good things that wouldn't have happened if Falin hadn't died.
If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, Izutsumi probably would still be a slave. It was because of Shuro and Laios' parties both being in the dungeon to rescue Falin, as well as Marcille's use of ancient magic in the resurrection, that she got the chance to escape. None of that would have been the case if Falin hadn't died. Shuro wouldn't have separated from the group and joined up with his retainers, Marcille wouldn't have revealed her knowledge of ancient magic, and Izutsumi never would have even met any of them. They are only part of her life because of Falin's death.
Though this isn't explicitly pointed out by Laios or Izutsumi in the scene, I do think you can very much feel the presence of it. For one, when Marcille reflects on the journey and how much it made her realize she didn't want to lose everyone, her relationship with Izutsumi is prominent:
It's the main original group at the top and center, but when you read it right to left, it’s Izutsumi and Marcille who might catch your eye first. And it's specifically Marcille and Izutsumi's relationship on display here, not just Izutsumi's presence in the group in general.
Also, after Laios' statement about how none of their adventure would have happened without Falin dying, it is Izutsumi who gets the final word:
Izutsumi is also the one here who is the most forward-facing. Chilchuck is trying to correct Laios, Senshi is focused on the immediate future, and Izutsumi is talking about her new goal.
And I want to talk about that goal in general as well, because it’s also interesting how it comes up. In that moment, everyone is trying to remind Marcille of her less destructive desires - to eat food, to share it with them, and to meet Chilchuck's family. All of which are previously established, existing desires. When prompted by Chilchuck to join in, however, Izutsumi offers something new:
That's interesting, isn't it? It's kind of funny, of course, to see her rambling on about a completely new thing, her own personal motive, in the middle of everyone working together to reach out to Marcille. Izutsumi doesn't even know who Yaad is! But at the same time, it’s kind of meaningful. Amidst the focus on desires that everyone already had, she adds a completely new one to the mix. It’s even the final bridge that lets Laios reach Marcille.
It is, in fact, even an idea that comes back later to help out another lord of the dungeon. The idea of finding new goals and feeling new desires... this is exactly how Kabru reaches out to Mithrun, after the Winged Lion is gone
So yeah, Izutsumi's presence here, both in what she's actively choosing to say as well as what she represents of the consequences of Falin's death, supports the story's ideas of moving forward. Of accepting the past, and finding new reasons to live.
Which is all really good, and that alone works pretty well as an answer to what Izutsumi's role in the story is.
But oh, oh. There's more. Something I realized after having thought of all this, because I still couldn't let go of the feeling that there was still something I was missing.
And as I reviewed the things I loved about Izutsumi - her sometimes unhealthy ways of coping with trauma, her struggles with isolation, her skill with fighting, her selfishness contrasted with the ways she grows to care for and protect the group, her perpetually guarded nature, born from the seeming impossibility of ever fitting in or finding a safe place to just be herself - I realized something.
Izutsumi...
is a foil to Falin.
Where Falin copes with isolation and trauma by being eternally caring and struggling to say no to people, Izutsumi copes by constantly saying no to everything she can. Falin is often considered selfless, but does have selfish desires that she can’t easily express until a moment of crisis. Izutsumi is delightfully selfish, but chooses to stick by her friends when they need her. They are both transformed, against their will, into partly monstrous hybrids, and they both will have to live with that - there is no undoing what has been done to them.
Falin anchors the group in the past. Izutsumi pulls them towards the future. Neither would find freedom without the other - it is Falin's death that leads to Izutsumi joining the party, and likewise, it is Izutsumi who inspires the realization of how they can save Falin.
And Falin is her future, as much as Izutsumi is Falin's. Both learn to be a little more like each other, even though they never meet. Falin gets a little more selfish. Izutsumi gets a little more willing to bend.
In this context, I feel like I have finally started to understand just how important Izutsumi is to the story. She is a proof that they cannot just go back, and she is a clawed, happy-to-scratch-anyone-who-pisses-her-off reminder, at that. In any conversation about what the group wishes would have happened with Falin, she cannot be ignored or brushed aside.
She is a reminder that, even in the midst of a tragedy so big it feels like a shadow you will never escape, you have yet to met all the people you will love. Hell, some of those people might even be catgirls. We should all be so lucky.
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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