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imagineredwood · 4 years ago

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🍒 The Lingerie 🍒

Summary: EZ and Amaya are trying to see who will be able to make the other one cave first when it comes to sex, and she has a trick up her sleeve.

Pairing: EZ Reyes x Amaya (OC)

Warnings: Sexual content, teasing nothing else really

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: Look at me actually getting a story out that I wanted to do and not forgetting lmao

Edit: Tell me why I said she was gonna pull her panties to the side like he asked and then proceeded to write her taking them off 💀 I fixed it

Amaya grinned as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, turning to get a look at her ass in the lingerie. The pink was bright and electric against her skin, the material form fitting and clinging to every curve and solve of her backside. She nodded as she admired herself.

“Stunning.”

Turing back around to face the mirror now, she looked herself over one more time before leaving the bedroom and heading into the living room. EZ was due to be back any minute now and she was just counting down until she could surprise him. He had been busy this week, so much so that she had barely been on the receiving end of his attention, much less his affection.

Sure, he sent her texts through out the day, checking in on her and letting her know that he was ok. Every now and then her phone would buzz, and she’d look down to see he had sent a simple heart emoji or the kiss. While those were adorable and romantic considering his lifestyle, but sometimes she wanted more. She was head over heels in love with the youngest Reyes brother, and the golden boy knew it.

And so the teasing had started, poking playful fun at how quick she was to jump his bones, as if he wasn’t just as enthusiastic when he initiated with her. It had turned into a bet then, to see who would be the first to crack and jump on the other. Both were confident that they could win of course, but Amaya knew that despite how fine EZ was, she had this one in the bag. The Mayan had started off playing dirty though.

The first night he had decided that despite usually sleeping in jeans like a heathen, he was going to actually wear briefs to bed. That had almost broken Amaya’s resolve immediately, but she had managed to keep it together, ignoring he way the white material stretched over his thighs and another noticeable area. Then he had decided to ditch the flannels for the day and had gone back to his trusty cut off under his kutte, arms and veins on full display. Once again, Amaya had managed to keep it together.

But last night he had taken it too far, when he had facetimed her out of the blue. She was nearly asleep, already dressed for bed and sleepy eyed. He had stayed at the trailer, far too exhausted to ride home to stay the night with her after the long day across the border. He had called her, his face popping up on the screen making her beam. She had answered quickly, happy to see his face and hear his voice. Her happiness had quickly been muddied by arousal though as she took in the sight of him. He was topless as he laid there, one arm folded behind his head while the other held the phone at his face. Amaya had squeezed her thighs together at the sight but figured she would fight fire with fire.

So she pretended she didn’t notice. EZ knew that his chest and arms were her weakness, and he knew that was the way to crack her, but she wasn’t budging. And he kept trying, folding one arm across his chest, then stretching it above his head, his bicep on full display.

Nothing.

He’s knew he had to use extreme measures then and had dropped the tone of his voice, letting the low rumble that he knew she loved so much out as he palmed himself, telling her how much he missed her, how he couldn’t wait until he was home tomorrow to taste her. He had riled her up, had her breathing faster and then just as quickly as it had begun, it ended.

‘Well, I gotta go to sleep querida. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.’

And then he had really ended the facetime, leaving her there wet and frustrated. She had taken care of herself, of course, but it wasn’t the same, and she knew that if he was gonna play dirty then so was she.

That’s where this new bright pink set came in. She was dressed to impress, everything shaved smooth and moisturized. She had put on his favorite dark cherry scented perfume when she had gotten out of the shower, pairing it with her custom shimmer lotion to make sure her skin glowed at every angle. Now all there was left to do was wait for him to get home. She knew that she was going to win, it was just a matter of how long it would take for EZ to crack. Not long, if the thong and heels she wore were any indication. They were two of EZ’s favorite things to see her in and she had paired them tonight to concoct his kryptonite.

She was pouring herself a drink as she waited, the low rumble of his bike able to be heard in the distance. She smirked to herself, grabbing her glass of pink Moscato for the aesthetic and putting it to the side as she cut up some cheese and salami.

She had her back to the door when EZ walked into her apartment, putting together her snack tray. Using the key she had given him to unlock the door, EZ could hear her moving around in the kitchen, her music playing as always, and called out to her like he usually did.

“I’m here, Maya.”

“In the kitchen, baby.”

The Mayan followed her voice into the kitchen and his eyes nearly flew out of his head as he laid eyes on her. Turning to look at him over her shoulder, she smiled brightly, acting as if she was just wearing sweats and a t-shirt.

“Welcome home, mi amor.”

She walked up to him and left a kiss to his lips before raising her hand, holding a little cracker stacked with a cube of cheese and the salami up to his mouth. He let her feed it to him, his eyes still on her in awe of how beautiful she looked. She grinned as he ate the snack, brushing the crumbs out of his beard, and then just like that she was turning around and walking back into the kitchen where the tray she had set up was sat.

EZ however stood like a statue in the same place, trying to fight the rush of blood that was heading south, but it was no use. He was already half-hard, and he knew right then that he had lost. No way was he going to be able to keep his hands off of her. Not when she looked so good. Finally breaking out of his trance, he walked across the kitchen, sliding up behind her. He pressed himself against her back, the hardness tucked away in the front of his jeans obvious as it pressed into her lace covered behind. She smirked, though he couldn’t see it, and played dumb.

“Good day?”

EZ sucked his teeth, not entertaining the games and bushed her hair off her shoulder so he could kiss up along the right side of her neck.

“Don’t act like you don’t know you already won.”

At that, Amaya chuckled.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, sir.”

EZ laughed and nuzzled into her neck, hands wandering over her hips and tummy, the tips of his fingers brushing over her lace covered mound.

“That’s a lie, but I’ll let it go since you look so good.”

He was turning her around then, taking the cracker from her hand and tossing it down onto the counter before bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck. She obliged and held onto her man, acrylics scratching at his scalp softly.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were hitting on me.”

EZ shook his head at her playfulness, his own fingers tampering with the straps that hooked into her garters.

“Oh, I’m definitely hitting on you.”

He was pressing his mouth against hers quickly then, done with the charade. He kissed her hungrily, not caring about the gloss he could feel smearing against his own lips. His hands were reaching behind her, grasping right below her ass on the backs of her thighs and lifting. She hopped and wrapped her legs around his hips, holding onto him as he walked with her to her bedroom. She grinned as they made their way, the Mayan dropping her down onto the bed gently. She got up on her knees and sat there like that, looking up at him as he started stripping down. He was naked soon enough and she motioned to him with her finger. Always good at listening, EZ got into the bed with her and laid down, Amaya quickly settling on top of his naked form. She leaned down for a kiss before sitting back, hips moving and swaying both in time with the music and just with what felt best.

EZ sighed in both happiness and pleasure, letting her do what she wanted for the time being. He watched as she grinded down on him, her hands grasping at her breasts as he sang along. She reached down and unhooked the garment from the garters, pulling it up and over her head leaving her in just the bright bubblegum pink thong. EZ cursed under his breath, unable to keep his hands to himself anymore.

“Fuck, you look so good mama.”

He ran his hand over her right breast, the very tips of his fingers tracing over her nipple before continuing up. He slid his hand over her throat, Amaya tossing her head back to give him all the room he needed. He held his hand around her throat softly for a moment, squeezing ever so gently before letting it slide back down between the valley of her breasts and over her tummy. He was growing harder and harder under her, his bare cock growing sensitive at the material of her panties. He reached for the thin strap on her hip, tugging at it gently as he looked up at her.

“Want me to take them off?”

He shook his head, eyes hungry and leaving no room for argument.

“No. Just pull em to the side.”

Amaya obeyed and slipped the thong over to the right, exposing herself. She placed her hands on his chest and ran them along the ridged muscles, a soft moan slipping from her lips. EZ smirked, his own hands going down, one to hold onto her ass while the other lined himself up with her opening.

“Not being such a brat now, huh?”

Amaya shook her head with a sly smile, needy for him.

“No. I need you too much. I can resume later though.”

EZ chuckled and then lifted his hips, pushing up into her and groaning as her warmth enveloped him. She moaned, squeezing him tightly with both her hands and her walls.

“God, you always feel so good.”

She let her eyes slip closed as she began to ride him, her ass bouncing every time she sunk down on him. She kept her hands on his shoulders, fingers tensing as she reveled in the pleasure he brought her. EZ simply kept his eyes on her the entire time, loving to watch her face as she took what she needed from him. With as much as he wanted to drag this out, he needed to feel her squeezing and pulsing around him and reached his hand down to rub his thumb along her clit. Amaya whimpered and removed her hands from his chest, leaning back instead with her hands braced on his thighs. The angle alone had her quivering, but the added stimulation of his thumb on her clit had her release visible on the horizon and EZ knew it.

“Good girl. There you go.”

Amaya smiled at the praise, EZ always one to make her feel uplifted no matter what she was doing. Her hips stuttered for a moment and EZ reached for her, bringing her forward to rest against his chest. Her walls clenched around him in anticipation, knowing exactly what he was about to do. Tucking her arms underneath herself, she laid on his chest as EZ bent his knees and put his feet flat on the bed, his hips pistoning up into her now. She cried out, the feeling almost too much as he bottomed out inside of her. He was carefully, as always, but give her everything he had until she was clenching around him like a vice, small tears gathered in the corners of her eyes as her Old Man hurled her over the edge. EZ groaned and growled, his hold on her almost bruising as he finished, painting her within.

He let his legs fall back down flat to the bed, his body relaxing from its tensed state. He held onto Amaya lazily with one arm, the other tossed onto the sheets at his side. Amaya breathed heavily as she tried to take in the air she had lost during her orgasm, cuddling deeply into the crook oh his neck the way she always did after they finished. EZ grinned tiredly, reaching up to hold onto the back of her head softly.

“You good, mi vida?”

She was still to spent to response verbally, simply throwing a lazy thumbs up at him. He chuckled and turned with her, both on their sides now as they looked at each other. EZ reached forward, running his fingers up and down her shoulder as he conceded.

“I gave in kinda quick, didn’t I.”

Amaya laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Of course you did.”

“Can’t help it with you.”

She smiled lovingly and EZ returned it, both looking down as her stomach growled suddenly. EZ pulled her to sit up with him then, tugging her hand as he began to climb out of the bed.

“Let’s take a shower and then we can go eat that fancy lunchable you made.”

Amaya taglist @buttercup812 @noz4a2 @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @morena-barbie @thesandbeneathmytoes @joannasteez

#ez x amaya #ez reyes x black!oc #ez reyes x afro Latina oc #Ez Reyes #Mayans MC #mayans imagine #mayans fx #imagines

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fabulouspotatosister · 4 years ago

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just for a day

summary: What’s a little acting between friends? If friends was even the right word.

word count: (idk yet man lol ) 3,373

request: Hello! I just wanna say your writing is absolutely amazing! If I may, could I request an 11 x reader where the reader’s friends keep bugging them to get a boyfriend, but they say they already do and they have to ask the Doctor to be their “boyfriend” (kind of like with Clara at the beginning of Time Of The Doctor) and eventually leads to feelings being spilt? If not, that’s perfectly fine!

a/n: this got WAYYY too long and for that i am so sorry lmao. i’m writing and posting this on the same day so if there are many mistakes or it doesn’t make sense that’s on me. anyway, i hope you enjoy this fic!

gif credit: @pavel-chekovs

“You’re back!”

You’d expected screaming. You’d expected yelling, and a fair dose of pterodactyl-esque screeching from the students in your advisory class, but what you weren’t expecting was crying. And lots of it. Nearly every fresh-faced elementary student was in tears, some sobbing quietly and some full-on bawling as soon as you walked through the door.

It was nice, cute even, but honestly a little disconcerting.

“Hi, everyone,” you said, shutting the door carefully behind you. The sight of their crying faces immediately activated your Parent Mode. “Are you all okay?”

“Perfectly fine!” Marih chirped, president of the class and therefore a little more levelheaded than the rest, which earned her a handful of disagreeing sighs. “What? Guys, you look ridiculous crying,” she continued, as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her palms and gave you a toothy grin. “We’re just happy you’re here again.”

You smiled at her, and reached out to pat the top of her head. “That’s great and all, but it’s like you guys haven’t seen me in ages.”

A heavy silence fell over the whole class. You saw students shift in their seats and look down at the floor, suddenly very interested in their black school shoes. Even Jaden, the class’s resident troublemaker, didn’t say a word. Marih cringed, ran a hand through her long dark hair, and smoothed the front of her checkered uniform.

“How long have I been gone?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Marih seemed to cringe away at the question. “I thought I was only travelling for a week!”

“Actually,” Marih said, stretching out the word, “you’ve been gone for three months?”

Your mouth fell open. You stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded, before you dug into your pocket and fished out your phone – she was right, it had been exactly three months and a week since you’d left the school to go travelling.

You groaned. “Oh, I’m going to kill him.”

By travelling, you meant time travelling and by him you meant the Doctor. The madman in a box that you’d run off with. You had let him turn your life upside down in the best way possible since he dragged you into the TARDIS, with his stupidly gorgeous smile and eyes and – you were getting off topic. Now you were plotting the murder of the man that you would consider to be the most incredible thing that had ever happened to you.

“Hey, ma’am?” came a soft voice from the front of the room. Karyll, with her tied-back hair and glasses, looked up at you from her seat. “Why are you looking like you’re going to kill someone?”

“’Cause I am,” you said cheerily, shoving your phone back into your pocket. Oh, you were going to have words with him, and they would most definitely not be nice ones. “Have I missed anything big? Were you nice to my substitute?”

A collective wave of disagreement swept over the class, and you couldn’t help but let a smile slip onto your face. These were your babies after all, and if you’d really been gone for three months then they were sorely missing their Second Mom.

Maybe the tears weren’t that much of a surprise after all.

“Okay, good morning everyone! Now, if we’re still on schedule, and I really hope we are, we should be talking about integers…”

The late afternoon sun drifted through the curtains of your classroom, filling the room with an almost hazy glow as you sat with your best friends in a haphazard circle of desks. Your kids had all gone home already, and a little pile of flowers and chocolates sat neatly on your shelves, right beside your lesson plan folders.

Denise leaned forward to look at them, her curly hair falling over her face. She was the elementary students’ science teacher, and was so well-organized it was almost inhuman. She would have liked the planet where everything was arranged alphabetically, you thought.

“I’m jealous, my students never give me gifts,” she said as she leaned away. “Sis, where have you even been?”

“Long story,” you replied, and it was. You weren’t sure if you could fit everything you’d been through – travelling through time, going to planets lightyears away, and of course all of the near-death experiences – into a story that you could tell in under an hour, and you weren’t going to try.

“And you’ve been travelling? By yourself?” Julianne, an arts teacher, raised her eyebrows at you from behind her laptop. “God, that’s lonely. Oh – unless…” Her calm expression morphed into something truly evil in your line of work – mischievousness. “Unless you had someone with you.”

“I mean –” Oh no, this was going to be hard to get out of. “I mean, I wasn’t alone,” you said, hoping the smile on your face was enough to mask your utter fear. You knew exactly where Julianne was going and you hated it. “I was with someone.”

“Ooh,” Julianne said, her grin growing so sly it was sending shivers up your spine. “You’ve been gone three months, has anything happened between you and your travel buddy?”

Heat rushed to your face. If you were a cartoon character steam would be pouring from your ears. “Why would you say something like that?”

Julianne shrugged. “We’ve been telling you to get a boyfriend for so long. You said you’d be gone a week, and then you disappear for three months… that kinda says something, don’t you think, Denise?”

“Definitely.” Denise grinned, and you shot her a helpless look.

“We’re doing this because we love you,” Julianne sang. The light from her laptop was enough to make her look absolutely menacing. “So? Travel buddy? Or more than that?”

The Doctor wasn’t just a travel buddy, and he was so much more than that – but you hadn’t found the words for what he meant to you, at least not yet. Companion was enough for you and him, but even then, there was a weight to that word. And there was definitely a weight to your partnership, but you wouldn’t call it… dating.

Julianne simply waggled her perfectly shaped eyebrows at you. You swallowed. You and the Doctor were a long story too, and Julianne wasn’t going to be happy with ��maybe” for an answer.

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Fine, he’s my boyfriend!”

I want to crawl into a hole and die was your inner monologue, and your background music was Julianne and Denise’s raucous laughter. I want to crawl into a hole and never have to face the world ever again.

Smash cut to you, standing nervously in your bedroom, gripping your phone so tightly you were sure it was going to break. Your plans of killing the Doctor for dropping you off late would have to wait. The phone rung once, twice, and you chewed your lip. If he was in the Time Vortex, any version of him could answer the phone and you couldn’t deal with that on top of everything, not today at least –

“Hello?”

You heaved a sigh of relief at the sound of the Doctor, your Doctor’s voice. “Help?” you squeaked out.

“Help?” the Doctor repeated. There was a blaring noise, and then the sound of electricity crackling. Something fizzled and popped, and the Doctor shouted something that sounded like a swear. “Oh, shut it – you – sorry, sorry. You were saying?”

“Uh, where are you right now? Are you somewhere?” you asked.

“I’m not somewhere, I’m drifting! Right above Earth, approximately right where you are,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice. It quelled your anxiety somewhat. “I’m doing maintenance. Agh – ow! I think I can see the roof of your house through the clouds, unless that’s someone else’s house. What color is your roof?”

You giggled. “It’s brown. You’re in the same time as me?”

“’Course I am,” the Doctor said. You heard the clanging sound of metal being dropped. “I never left.”

The Doctor liked to run off on his own when you were home and have his own mini-adventures. He liked to come back and say he’d spent his time with alien royalty, or something like that. But instead he was staying put, he was waiting, for you. It made the next part so much harder.

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” you said quickly, covering your burning face with your free hand.

“Oh,” the Doctor said simply. Another clang.

Oh? “Just for a day,” you coughed. “I kind of said that I had a boyfriend, and that he was my travel buddy, and now my friends kind of want to meet you. It’s my grade’s family day tomorrow, maybe you could, uh, show up?”

“And be your boyfriend,” the Doctor said.

You nodded, then, “And be my boyfriend. Just for the day. You never have to show up again.”

There was a beat of silence, and for a second you thought the Doctor was going to say no – he had every right to, of course, and you could just lie and say that he couldn’t show up – but the Doctor laughed, cheerful and warm. “Ding-dong! Okay! What time tomorrow? I have to study, I’m a bit rusty in places.”

Your mouth fell open for the second time in twenty-four hours. “You’re serious?”

“Very! Any pet name preferences?”

You groaned loudly, and the Doctor laughed again. “Shut up!”

“Alright, alright. Guess I’ll have to do my own research.”

There was another moment of silence, and when the Doctor spoke again, it was much softer, much less playful. His voice almost sounded fond. “Goodnight?”

“Goodnight, Doctor,” you said softly, and the call cut off with a series of short beeps.

Was it a surprise that you barely slept at all? You had spent the whole night with your imagination running at full capacity, your mind latching onto every single thought and concept it could come up with. You slipped in and out of sleep, lying still in bed whenever a possibility popped into your head. To say you were nervous was the understatement of the year – but what was a little acting between friends?

If friends was the right word for it.

You waited for the Doctor behind the school, leaning against the concrete wall and watching the TARDIS fade into this plane. Wind blew into your face as the TARDIS groaned and wheezed, eventually materializing in front of you.

“I’m not late, am I?” the Doctor said, sticking his head out of the TARDIS doors. He grinned widely, his hair falling into his face. You grinned back at him and pushed yourself off the wall.

“You’re early, which is a first,” you said. The Doctor frowned at you, stepped carefully out of the TARDIS, and frowned some more. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I think I’ve earned the right to look at you however I’d like,” the Doctor huffed, adjusting his bowtie. He’d ditched the tweed for the day, it seemed, going with a long green coat that annoyingly complimented his eyes. The frown didn’t last very long, though, because he went right back to grinning brightly at you. He held out his elbow in your direction. “Shall we?”

“Here’s the lucky girl,” Julianne cooed as you walked into the empty canteen. All the tables were pushed aside to make space for all the games you’d be playing – in the corner of your eye, you saw the Doctor light up at the sight of all of the streamers and balloons. “And here’s the lucky boy – oh my god, Denise.”

“What?” Denise popped up from behind a large speaker, then blanched. “Oh, now I’m double jealous.”

The Doctor pulled away from you to lightly kiss both of Julianne’s cheeks in greeting. Julianne looked positively starstruck when he stepped back to stand beside you, quickly waving Denise over. Denise had her mouth hanging open, still clutching a microphone in her hands.

“Hi,” you said, gesturing at the Doctor, “here’s my boyfriend.”

The Doctor raised his hand and smiled. “Hello! I’m John Smith, lovely to meet you both. You’re my girlfriend’s girl friends, I assume?”

“Uh –” Denise blinked owlishly. “Yeah, we are.” Then, quietly and to herself, “Holy moly.”

You couldn’t help but grin at their flabbergasted faces. The Doctor rested his hand on the small of your back, and you leaned into his touch as if it was the most normal thing in the universe. That was enough to make Denise stumble into Julianne, who barely even reacted, as she was still staring wide-eyed at the both of you.

“I think we caught them off guard,” you said. The Doctor chuckled and leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“You did when we met, sweetheart,” the Doctor said smoothly. Sweetheart echoed in your ears and bounced off the walls of your already racing mind. Your heart stuttered in your chest. That was bad.

“Oh, are we doing charm now?” you asked. “Are you trying to be charming?”

“I did say I would study,” the Doctor said.

“You guys are insufferable,” Denise said, but she was beaming at you. “If you could get your hands off of your travel buddy for just a few minutes, I need help with the mics, the families are gonna be here any minute…”

Her voice trailed off as she walked back to the speaker. You stood on your tiptoes to kiss the Doctor’s cheek, feeling his skin heat up underneath your lips. “See you later.”

“…See you,” the Doctor echoed, and bent down to kiss your cheek too. He turned on his heel and walked towards the decorations, softly muttering, “Ooh, balloons! Love a good balloon…”

You stared at him for longer than you should have, watching him poke and prod at the balloons lying on the tables. He put his face very close to one and smiled at his reflection in the plastic. Affection welled up in your chest, and a tiny smile slipped onto your face.

“Look at you, you’re smiling at him,” Julianne chimed, sidling up to you and nudging your side. “That’s disgusting.”

“Says the girl who said I needed to get a boyfriend,” you shot back.

The Doctor went still for a little bit and turned to face you, smiled and winked, then went right back to inspecting balloons. Julianne made a strangled noise, and you made one too. So he was doing charm, and you hated to admit that it was absolutely working on you.

“I meant to say disgustingly adorable,” Julianne said. “You’re so lucky.”

You gave him another glance as you walked away to help Denise with the mics – “help with the mics” was apparently code for “I’m going to tease you more about your new boyfriend” which wasn’t helped by the fact that every so often, the Doctor would look in your direction and just smile, which was enough to make you stumble over your own words and give Denise more teasing fodder.

The parents and their kids eventually filed into the canteen and you flipped into Teacher Mode. You stood next to your students, pinched their cheeks and then greeted all of the parents and got everyone ready for the program. (You didn’t notice how the Doctor mirrored you, standing a little far away and watching, a dumb smile on his face.)

Julianne and Denise were the emcees for the family day, big smiles on their faces as they rounded up everyone for the games. At the mere mention of games, the Doctor was back at your side at an instant, his eyes glittering with excitement.

“Please don’t destroy the kids,” you pleaded.

“No promises,” he replied, and then proceeded to destroy the kids in most of the games.

The first game had Julianne call out for whoever could bring an item of her choice to the table – the Doctor, with his coat that was surely bigger on the inside, had no trouble pulling out whatever was asked. Even when Julianne started to test the waters and ask for increasingly insane items, the Doctor just kept going. He jumped in joy like a little kid at the win, bounding up to you and pressing a kiss to your cheek. You’d just blushed and smiled, ignoring the butterflies that were multiplying in your stomach.

The Doctor holding your hand wasn’t new. The Doctor being close to you wasn’t new. The Doctor being affectionate with you wasn’t new. But now it was all under the guise of being your boyfriend. Of course it felt different, but to your surprise and growing horror, it didn’t feel bad.

The Doctor shouting your name snapped you out of your thoughts. He was standing on a piece of newspaper as Denise started to get music ready, waving his arms to beckon you over. His coat was gone, thrown onto a nearby table, and even without it he was dashing.

“I need you over here!” he yelled, still jumping excitedly. His hair bounced up and down with the movement. “I need a partner!”

You let your feet carry you to him, trying to ignore the stares pointed your way. The Doctor took your hand in his and pulled you onto the newspaper.

“Stay close,” the Doctor said. “I’ve got this.”

Loud, thumping music filled the air. The Doctor spun you around and you squealed in surprise, moving your feet clumsily to the music. Suddenly, it stopped, and the Doctor pulled you back onto the newspaper. It was a tight fit, and you had to press yourself against his body to even stay standing. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy at the contact, and once again you tried to ignore that, too.

“What did I say?” the Doctor breathed, his breath tickling your ear, his smile wide and manic. “Let’s dance!”

The paper got smaller and smaller, and the two of you got closer and closer. Sweat started to bead on your forehead, and the Doctor had rolled his sleeves up in the middle of all the chaos. In the end, it was just you and another pair of parents, tiptoeing on their own folded pieces of newspaper.

“I’ve got an idea,” the Doctor said, his voice loud over the music. “When the music stops, jump into my arms.”

“Seriously?!” you shouted, and the Doctor nodded enthusiastically. “You’ve got the balance of a drunk giraffe! You’ll drop me!”

“Do you trust me?” the Doctor asked.

There wasn’t any question. “I do!”

“Then jump!”

The music stopped, and in the split second where the Doctor stepped onto the now-tiny folded newspaper, you ran and leapt. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn’t be able to catch you at all, and in your mind you could already see it – you crashing into him and sending you both tumbling to the floor.

The Doctor’s arms shot out and caught you. Cheers erupted from everyone in the canteen, and behind you your competitors both lost their balance and fell face-first onto the floor. You wrapped your arms around the Doctor’s neck to steady yourself in his arms, feeling him shake slightly as he kept you aloft.

“We won!” you gasped, still basking in all of the cheering. “As expected from my lovely boyfriend.”

The words left your mouth as easily as breathing. You smiled up at the Doctor, breathless from all of the dancing. His skin shone with sweat, his hair was a mess, and his bowtie was askew, but even that was enough to make you throw all caution to the wind – still in his arms, you pulled him down and kissed him.

Cheers erupted from everyone again, but you could care less. The room could be empty and nothing would have changed. As cliché as it sounded, all the mattered was the feeling of the Doctor’s lips against yours. Your hands found their way into his hair and he melted into your touch, pulling you closer to him.

“You know,” the Doctor breathed as he pulled away, “I don’t want this to be just for a day.”

“Good,” you replied. You leaned up to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Because I don’t either.”

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #11th doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #eleventh doctor fanfiction #oh god i spend too long on the intro for this i'm so sorry

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nnightskiess · 4 years ago

Text

santana lopez imagine

i kinda combined two requests together bc i thought they’d fit well!

a/n: this is for u elena. sorry you had to wait so long♡

also, i wanted to try and show that soft and nervous side of santana that came out at the beginning with dani, so i’m sorry if it feels out of character sometimes. (i did my best lol)

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N was having lunch with her friends from back home. It had been hard to keep in touch with them now that she had been living in New York for over a year. Not that she’d complain, since she gained multiple new friends and... well, a relationship. And not with just anyone— with Santana Lopez, whose singing career skyrocketed after a duet on Mercedes Jones’ album. She got a record deal a month after and her first EP was a hit. She went on tour with her first album but had vanished off the face of the earth after her very public breakup with her high school girlfriend and her backup dancer, Brittany S. Pierce. She stopped posting on social media, she wasn’t spotted by paparazzi anymore and her plans for a second album were now off the table. It was clear to everyone that the breakup had broken the girl. That was until she walked into the diner she used to work at and locked eyes with Y/N. Santana didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else and wasn’t completely over Brittany, so it wasn’t love at first sight.

But the moment Y/N stole the show while taking the lead singing Shout by The Trammps, she knew there was something special about the girl. Was it her voice that Santana’s mind went to when she lied in bed that night? Or the twinkle in her eyes when she sang? Or perhaps the way her smile widened a tad bit more when she looked at Santana?

Santana found herself go back to the diner on days where she’d rather sit in bed and cry. She’d forget her sorrow in moments they locked eyes but could cry again when Y/N wasn’t working that day.

Santana had taken her notebook with her, the one she would never let anyone read— well, except for Brittany. It’s where most of her songs were born and where her most delicate and vulnerable thoughts were being kept. She’d never been too keen on sharing emotions with everyone, so writing them down was a great alternative.

“I normally wouldn’t ask, but I’ve seen you here with that notebook now at least a couple of times... Are you writing a book?”

Santana’s head shot up. Y/N was standing next to her table, wiping her hands onto her apron.

Santana cracked a soft smile, “No—actually, I’m writing songs... a song... well, trying to, at least. My label wants-” She swallowed her sentence, she didn’t want this girl to know about any of that drama.

Y/N seemed to ignore it.

“You sing?”

Santana nodded but furrowed her eyebrows when Y/N sat down in front of her. “Go on, then. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”

“Oh, no no no-”

Y/N pursed her lips, “Did it happen not too long ago?” she asked after a couple of seconds of Santana trying to get out of this situation.

She rose her eyebrows, unsure of how Y/N read the situation so well,

“It’s actually been a while but it still hurts.” She caught herself confessing.

“Then I won’t pry. I’ll leave you to it.” Y/N slid out of the booth, “Oh, and— I happen to know that our strawberry milkshake is the best medicine to heartbreak. It’s on me.”

“Thanks...” Santana watched her leave into the kitchen and immediately rubbed her temples when the girl left her sight. No, no, no, no. Not again. But wasn’t this exactly the reason she had started visiting the diner more and more? To spike up a conversation with the girl? She cursed at herself, stood up, grabbed her stuff and left the diner. She wasn’t ready yet. She could take the short glances and attention, but that was the line. The only woman she had truly trusted was no longer with her, she couldn’t open up to anyone again.

Through the window of the diner she could see the girl with a disappointed expression on her face the moment she realised Santana had left. But Santana didn’t turn around and kept walking.

✫彡

“Okay, stop crushing my spirit. I wanted a nice dinner with you.”

“Then you should’ve just asked Berry over for dinner. I’m sure she’d tell you all about her awfully cheerful day.”

Kurt put his hand on Santana’s so that she would stop playing with her food. She glared at him.

“You can glare at me all you want, but we’re not going to brush things under the carpet. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Santana dropped her cutlery and sat back, crossing her arms. “We’re not talking about Britt again. You want to help me move on? Then fucking stop bringing it up.”

“No, not that. There’s something else. I can sense it.”

“Since when do you have a Mexican third eye as well?”

“Off topic.” Kurt waved her off. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Santana lowered her head and slightly looked up at him, trying to decide wether to share or not.

“Is the label pressuring you?” He tried.

Santana sighed, “Well, yes, that too.”

Kurt waited patiently for Santana to feel comfortable enough to share the rest.

“They were okay with delaying the start of my second album but now they’re starting to breathe down my neck. They say it’s been long enough and that i’m just deadweight they have to pay but get nothing in return for, which is fair— but still. I’m only human, I’m not some super song-writing machine like Mercedes.”

“I thought you loved writing songs?”

“Yeah... when I had Brittany.” Santana looked at her lap and started playing with her hands. “Now that I don’t have her... I can’t seem to even write one sentence... and when I do, they’re all just too gloomy or depressing.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. “Well, Adele wrote one whole album about her breakup which sold like Wonka bars. Who says you can’t?”

Santana shook her head, “You don’t get it. I don’t want to sing about her anymore, even though it might help me move on. But the thing is...” she bit her lip, “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“Then write about how you can’t write. Write about how you want to feel instead of feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Write about conquering this heartbreak, like a powerful song?”

“How?” Santana looked up, tears in her eyes.

“By remembering who you were before.”

“But I’ve been with Britt for as long as I-”

Kurt shook his head and waved his hands around, “No, think of the Santana in high school. You were fierce, strong, not afraid to speak your mind but you also had a big heart. You didn’t want to show it often but we all knew yours was just as big, if not bigger, as ours. Remember how it felt every time you got a solo and when you stood on the stage? Write about that feeling. Write about feeling on top of the world again.”

“Thanks, Hummel.”

He smiled at her and squeezed her hands, “Anytime. Now eat before it gets cold. I didn’t spend two hours in the kitchen for nothing.”

✫彡

Santana walked out off the apartment she had rented after her breakup with Brittany and crossed the street. She needed some fresh air and a distraction from her song-writing. Spring was around the corner but it was still very chilly in the big city, so she held the collar of her coat while walking through the tiny park close to her block. She started humming the melody she’d just come up with. Something just didn’t feel right yet.

Santana saw people look at her as they passed by but hoped that the big sunglasses on her face would keep them guessing of her identity. No matter how much she loved the attention from her fans, she sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to pose for selfies every damn day.

“Hey, you!”

She sighed and stopped to turn around since she’d look like a real ass if she didn’t. She half expected to be met with a group of teenage girls with their phones ready to snap a picture, but instead she locked eyes with the girl from the diner.

“I think you dropped this.”

The girl apparently didn’t seem to recognise her thanks to the shades, and she handed her a crumbled piece of paper.

“Oh— um, thanks.” Santana gave her a tight-lipped smile. She stared back at the girl.

“I know you.” (weren’t you in a movie with my sister? lmao sorry i had to, let’s continue)

Oh, no. The girl couldn’t find out that Santana was the woman who had basically stood her up after their talk in that diner.

She let out a breathy chuckle, “Do you?”

“Yeah, you look familiar.” Something in Santana hoped that the girl recognised her for being a celebrity, not for what happened a week ago.

Y/N shamelessly looked her up and down before snapping her finger.

“Milkshake girl. I recognise your voice.”

Santana smiled awkwardly. Great, now she definitely looked like a douche.

“Sorry about that, by the way... I-”

“No need to apologise. I probably came on too strong, sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I only wanted to cheer you up.” She smiled back, “It’s a shame though, it was a great milkshake.”

Santana’s expression softened, relieved at how well the girl had taken it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you again after that... You used to come in every few days. Is it my fault? Gunther would kill me if I lost him a customer. Wait— Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”

Santana smiled and removed her glasses.

“If he ever gets mad at you, just give him a box of Yeast-I-Stat. That’ll pretty much shut him up.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “How do you-”

“I worked there for a long time when I first moved to New York.” Santana shrugged, “I was pretty desperate for any kind of job when I landed that commercial.”

“Oh my God, you’re the Yeast-I-Stat girl!? I knew I recognised you from somewhere else, too.” The girl gasped, “I like yeast in my bagel... but not in my muffin.” She mocked and laughed afterwards.

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Santana shook her head in amusement, kinda glad those days were over.

“Is that really what you know me of?”

“Yeah, what else should I know you of? Any other embarrassing first-job commercials I should know about?”

Santana was about to mention her career but stopped herself. Clean slate. She wasn’t a celebrity in her private life. Besides, she didn’t want the girl to think she was bragging.

“No... thank God.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds before smiling.

“I’m Y/N.” She held out her hand for Santana to shake.

“Santana.”

Y/N smiled at her with the most adorable smile ever. Santana didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes.

She blinked a few times before shaking her head, “So, yeah. I should get going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I have to go, too...”

“Bye...”

Santana waved softly as the girl turned around and walked off.

Clean slate, Santana.

✫彡

“They’re doing a Gloria Estefan night at the Spotlight Diner. We should totally go.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but that sounds out of character for the diner.” Rachel shrugged.

“I guess they finally had a cultural awakening.” Santana was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. “They’re probably too white to sing her Spanish songs though, bet they’re gonna butcher it.”

“So that’s a no for reserving us a table?” Kurt turned to the two.

“No, I wanna go.”

“Count me in, too. I love ‘Conga’.”

Santana rolled her eyes, “That’s the only song you know of her, isn’t it?”

“No...”

“Keep next Friday night free.”

✫彡

They walked in as ‘A Bailar’ by Gloria silently played over the speakers in the background. Santana scanned the room, shamelessly trying to find the girl she was looking for. Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight.

Kurt waved his hand and one of the waitresses came to take their order. They talked a bit as they waited for their food. Every time Santana saw a girl in the red outfit walk by from the corner of her eyes, her head would shot up, only to be disappointed again when it wasn’t Y/N.

“Tana, stop ogling everyone. Your food’s getting jealous.” Rachel pointed at the untouched plate in front of her.

A few minutes later, their heads shot to the door as Y/N bursted through it. She quickly fixed her hair that was messed up by the wind and quickly tied a white apron around her waist. Gunther came from behind the counter. Though they couldn’t hear what he said, it was clear she was in trouble. He kept pointing his finger at her chest before snatching the apron off her waist and sending her into the back.

“Oh, I bet she’s on cleaning duty now. Remember when I got an hour late because I was held up at an audition?”

Kurt and Rachel started talking but Santana wasn’t paying attention.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows until she got a call from her PR manager. She declined and a few seconds after, she got a text.

Santana’s stomach sank and she froze. New relationship? Brittany had already moved on? Yet she still spent every day moping around, overthinking everything that had happened, unable to write any song that wasn’t about the blonde. Brittany was already giving someone else all her love? How was that fair? How was she even able to do that?

“Santana?”

“You alright?”

She snapped out of it and gave them a tightlipped, fake smile. There was no time for them to question her any further as Rachel let out a startled yelp when suddenly the first notes of ‘Conga’ blasted through the diner. The lights flickered and changed colour on the beat. Santana rolled her eyes, of course they’d start with that song.

Girls started dancing through the pathways and tried to hype everyone up. Kurt was shimmying along and Rachel was nodding her head to the beat, a big smile on her face. Santana tried to blend but she was busy biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

The percussion band on the little stage started playing ‘Cuba Libre’. A girl danced her way onto the stage and sang the Spanish verse. She was clearly hispanic since her pronunciation was great. Two girls started dancing on the counter and another helped someone up—Y/N.

‘Cuba Libra’ faded into the chorus of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ to which Y/N took the lead. Santana’s frown softened at seeing the girl perform, but she still couldn’t shake the thought of Brittany off.

Santana sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, wanting to go home and crawl into her bed and not leave it for the next couple of days. She hadn’t even realised that another song was already playing and that the girls were pulling people out of their seats to ‘Get on Your Feet’.

Y/N spotted Santana in the crowd and walked over to her, but Santana wouldn’t crack a smile. Y/N kept singing to her until she’d turn around. Kurt softly shook his head at the girl, telling her that she should leave Santana alone. But what he didn’t know, was that the girls already knew each other. Y/N noticed how Santana pursed her lips, not giving in to her.

Y/N grabbed her shoulders, bent down to her height and slowly made the girl turn.

She sang to her,

“Deep in your heart is the answer. Find it, I know it will pull you through. Get on your feet!”

She leaned over to grab Rachel and Kurt’s hands, helping them stand up. Almost everyone in the diner was up and dancing right now, except for Santana. Kurt gave her a look, telling her to suck it up.

“I think it's true that we've all been through some nasty weather,” Y/N turned to dance with one of her co-workers. She felt Santana look at her and walked back up to her. She danced around her. “Let's understand that we're here to handle things together.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Santana’s stoic expression, trying to break her. And it worked, Santana let out a soft chuckle and shook her head in amusement. Both Y/N and Kurt held out a hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and stood up. The four of them danced together for a few seconds until Y/N walked back to the other girls. They ended the song on the stage, where everyone left but Y/N. They went back to eating their dinner as the next few songs would be slow and easy on the ears.

Y/N sat down on the stool next to the guitarist. He started playing the soft notes of ‘Wrapped’. Kurt and Rachel went back to eating their food but Santana was too mesmerised by the girl to engage in their conversation. The soft light that was shining down on her made her look like she was the only one in the room. And judging by the look on the girl’s face while she sang, she felt like she was the only one in the room too. She hadn’t once opened her eyes the first minute, she was just so indulged in the song.

A small smile made its way onto Santana’s face at the sight. She knew how good it felt to be so into a song that you could just forget the world around you— to find your corner of the sky. It was very obvious that Y/N felt at ease, even while performing in front of people. It was rare to see people be so clearly in love with what they were doing.

Santana grabbed her phone, opened Instagram and decided to film this moment. Y/N’s face wasn’t recognisable from the distance where Santana was filming from so she decided to just put it into her story. Everyone deserved to see this.

Was this positive and uplifting enough?

✫彡

‘What we know of Santana and Brittany’s breakup...’

‘Read what Brittany S Pierce has to say about her ex’

‘Santana’s social media silence over?’

‘Santana Lopez still in love or in love again?’

And many more headlines had been posted after that Friday. Santana got a lot of followers after her first post in over a year. She had also gotten a lot of hate, which was something she hadn’t missed. Brittany hadn’t said one bad word about their relationship or about Santana but for some reason she still received backlash. Brittany spoke so highly about Santana and all the questions were answered with respect. But Santana wasn’t surprised about that at all, that was just how Brittany was.

There were still people—mainly Brittany fans—who blamed Santana and made all kinds of crazy assumptions about what had happened.

“Just delete the app. You don’t need that kind of toxic energy around you.”

Y/N was filling the ketchup bottles while she sat in front of Santana.

How had this happened, you ask? One of Y/N’s coworkers had recognised her on Santana’s story and pointed it out to her. When Santana visited the diner again, Y/N had jokingly apologised about not knowing who she was before, to which Santana had replied,

“You knew who I was. You knew the real me. Not the celebrity or crazy hot girl from the Yeast-I-Stat commercials.”

After that, Santana made sure to come round when Y/N was done or only doing little chores.

Y/N loved that she got a new friend and Santana was glad that she finally had someone who she could start over with. Someone who didn’t know her from back in high school and someone who didn’t become friends with her solely for the fact that she was famous.

“I can’t. They want me to post at least once a week.” Santana groaned, “I don’t even know what to post. All I do is sleep, try to write and go here.”

They worked in silence for a few minutes until Y/N opened her mouth again.

“Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetables?”

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, giving her a look.

“No guesses? Well, they can’t ketchup.”

Santana snorted and shook her head. “Wow, okay. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make an awful joke.”

“Yeah, you go do that while I bring these to the back.”

Santana watched her leave and sighed. The past week had been hell for Santana. She yearned for every little bit of attention from Y/N and her insides turned to mush whenever the girl smiled at her. But something held her back. She didn’t want to fall in love again. Not yet, not when she still held her high school sweetheart in her heart. But it was so hard to not stare at Y/N or freak out whenever she called her on the phone.

“Ready?”

Santana laughed at the huge guitar in Y/N’s hands. She seemed so small now.

“What’s that for?”

“You said you didn’t know what to post. You should post a little acoustic cover of that song I helped you finish last week?”

Santana looked at her, contemplating if she should agree or not.

“Can you even play?”

Y/N smiled sheepishly, “Only that song. I practiced the chords all week. But hey, if I mess up— just know that i’m willing to publicly embarrass myself just to help you out.”

Santana smiled at her in adoration. “Fine. Okay.”

They walked to the vacant stage and put Santana’s phone on the sheet music standard.

“Oh-I... I’ll scoot out of the frame if me being in it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

Y/N laughed, “People might assume we’re together after all the assumptions about you in the magazines. That would be weird.”

Santana’s expression faltered. “O-Oh...yeah.. it would...” She faked a smile.

Y/N started strumming the guitar.

(radio silence by naya rivera)

Santana closed her eyes as she started singing. It was clear to everyone that this song was about Brittany and she wasn’t ready yet to let them hear the whole song. It felt too personal to give it away just like that. Which is why they decided to do just a snippet.

She opened her eyes and looked at Y/N when one chord sounded terrible. You could hear Y/N giggle from behind the phone. Santana smiled wide and had a hard time singing without laughing. Y/N stuck out her tongue as she seemed focused on getting the next one right. Santana unintentionally looked at her longingly the last few notes but broke out of it when Y/N stopped playing.

✫彡

Should she be thanking the tabloids? No, never. However, she couldn’t deny that they had been the reason why Y/N had even brought it up.

“Do you like me?”

Santana widened her eyes.

“And I don’t mean as friends. I mean like-like. Do you like-like me?”

“I-uh, I-” Santana stammered.

“It would be really embarrassing if you didn’t, to be honest.”

Santana gave her a wary but panicked look.

“Because I do... like-like you, I mean.”

“Wow, wait— what?”

She opened and closed her mouth until she saw the honesty on Y/N’s face who let her statement linger in the air, hoping that Santana would say something. But the silence only heightened her nerves

“Santana-”

“I can’t... I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

She quickly grabbed her stuff and left the diner, just like she had done the first time.

She rushed home, biting her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. The second she unlocked her front door, she let them go. Santana tried to control her sobs as she sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands.

Her safety net whenever she felt lost or emotional— Brittany — was gone, what was she supposed to do now? She let out another sob as she missed Britt’s arms holding her close.

She reached for her phone without a second thought and dialled the woman’s number. Brittany picked up after a few seconds, much to Santana’s surprise.

“Hey, um, Santana. What’s up?”

Brittany decided to break the ice, but all formalities were thrown out the window when she heard the Latina let out another sob.

“Santana, are you okay?! What’s happened? Where are you?”

Was she okay? No. But what was she supposed to tell Brittany? That it was partly because of her?

“Please, say something, Tana. I’m worried.”

Santana held the bridge of her nose and let out a big, shaky sigh.

“Please forget that I called, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

She hung up. But the phone rang after a few seconds. Santana tossed it next to her on the couch and rubbed her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

It rang again. And again, and then another three times. Santana stared at the screen long and hard before picking it up.

“Don’t shut me out, please. You know I still care about you when something’s wrong.”

Santana let out a huff and Brittany knew exactly what that meant.

“Santana, listen— I am so, so sorry for what happened. I too thought that we would be the happiest and sappiest couple forever but... some things just... happen. And I still completely understand how hard it was for you to stay friends with me without being with me and I’m so terribly sorry for that they brought you up in that interview— but I meant everything I said, Santana. You were the best thing that happened to me back then. And to me you still are my best and most incredible friend but... that’s just it.”

A long pause.

“And I kind of really miss hanging out with you and so does Lord Tubbington so if you’re comfortable with the idea, would you want to get together sometime soon? Wait— not get together-together, just... argh, you know what I mean.”

“How did you do it?” Santana broke her silence. “What changed in your mind for you to get the closure you needed? Because I never fucking got it.”

Brittany kept quiet, knowing there was more to follow.

“I have spent a whole year feeling like absolute shit, but I knew... that there was no way that we’d ever get together again. But the closure? Nope.” She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. “And lately there’s been this incredible girl in my life and guess what? You two are fighting for first place in my head and I can’t help but want to push her out because I’m not ready to let her stay there until you are completely out of my thoughts.”

She heard Brittany let out a breath.

“Sant-”

“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need a pity-party. I don’t-”

“Santana Lopez, listen to me.” Brittany raised her voice. “If your plan is to sabotage your own happiness, then congratulations— you’re well on your way. It’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time moving on. I mean, one— I’m a catch but two, we were together since high school, that’s a long time. We were each other’s first loves and truth be told, you never really forget those. You’ll compare every following relationship to that one, even if it was full of flaws. Truth is, you’ll never be able to move on or get the closure until you open yourself up to idea of loving someone else again. And I know how you work— you don’t ever want to open up to someone again but... if you give this girl a chance, who knows? She might be the one to change your mind. And I’ll cross my fingers she will. I hope she’ll kick me off first place like a rugby player.” Brittany snorted at her own joke.

“Because you deserve a special someone too, Santana. And if you still don’t have the closure you need... I loved you, I cared for you, and in a way I still do. But we won’t ever get together again. That ship has sailed. I want you to be happy and I want to see you flourish in every aspect of life, just... without me being your special someone. I’d still very much like to be by your side, though, but as a friend.”

Santana let the words sink in until she suddenly widened her eyes.

“I am such a fucking idiot.”

“Um... are we having the same phone call? Because I’m lost...”

“She told me she liked me and I ran out.”

“Was that metaphorically speaking or did you literally run out?”

“Like a chicken, Brittany.”

“Santana!? Be Chicken Little and run back!” Brittany exclaimed, “But watch out for the traffic, please, because that would be a tragic end to the story....and it would be animal abuse...”

Santana smiled softly, missing this side of Brittany.

“Okay, okay!” She laughed.

“Keep me posted?”

Santana hummed, “Thank you, Britt.”

“Of course. You’re still my best friend, even if we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Go get the girl.”

✫彡

Santana hesitantly walked back into the diner. It wasn’t rush hour so there were only a few people having a drink.

“See you guys tomorrow!”

Y/N walked out of the backroom and froze in her spot when she saw Santana looking at her. A tightlipped, awkward smile appeared on her face and she tried to walk passed her but Santana grabbed her hand.

“Wait, I-...I need to tell you something.”

Santana looked the girl in her eyes, seeing the anticipation and worry in them. But then she saw something else, she saw the same twinkle in her eyes when Y/N sang so beautifully that night. Only this time they were twinkling because she was looking at Santana.

She grabbed the girl’s cheek and planted a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N widened her eyes at first but kissed back. They parted when a bell coming from the kitchen interrupted them.

“So much for needing to tell me something...” Y/N chuckled heartily, “But I guess I got what you were trying to say.”

“You guess?” Santana shot back.

“Yeah... I’m still slightly confused...”

“How’s this?” Santana grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Y/N slowly tapped the girl on her chest when things started to get heated.

“Let’s keep it PG, we’ve got an audience.”

Santana bit her lip in embarrassment when she saw that all eyes were on them now.

“But your message was loud and clear this time.” Y/N whispered in her ear and gave her one of the most adorable smiles.

“Oh...” Santana let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ground. Being nervous was so out of character for her, but whenever it came to her and relationships she was always a simp for her significant other.

“But... can we take it slow? Because-”

Y/N nodded immediately. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. We’ll take it slow.”

✫彡

Y/N sat on Santana’s bed, reading a book while the Latina was trying to write a new song for her album. She heard yet another paper being ripped apart, followed by a loud groan.

“Baby, you okay?”

Y/N bent over the couch and hugged Santana’s neck from behind, planting a kiss on her temple. Santana sighed and sat back, feeling more relaxed the second Y/N’s arms wrapped around her.

“It’s not working. I can’t seem to get my exact feelings onto paper and what I have now doesn’t even do it a little bit of justice.”

“The break-up song? Let me see-” Y/N went to reach for the notebook but Santana immediately turned around and smiled.

“You know what? I’m starving, and I want to take you out.”

“Oh— are you sure? We just had-”

“I’m sure. I need a break anyway.”

“Okay...well, let me get a jacket.”

Santana watched Y/N walk into the other room before quickly hiding the notebook behind the couch pillows again. She’d feel so embarrassed if Y/N ever read any of her love songs to her. Truth be told, ever since their first kiss in the diner, Santana had found her new muse. She had written a lot of songs since then but not one seemed to be good enough or do the girl justice. Besides, if Y/N read the lyrics to this song... Well, it would make or break their relationship and Santana wasn’t going to lose someone again.

“Let’s go.”

✫彡

“But I can tell my friends, right?”

“Baby, of course you can.”

“Sweet! I’m going to see them again next week. Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you.”

“Oh, I’m... not sure if going with you is such a good idea.”

“I forgot— we’re taking things slow.” Y/N nodded to herself, “Sorry, I get too excited sometimes.”

Santana caressed the girl’s head and planted a kiss on it, “It’s okay. Soon.”

✫彡

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N took a sip of her drink, “Well, i’m still working at the diner, that hasn’t changed. And-”

“You’re in love.”

“How-”

“I can sense it. Also, you've posted a lot of cheesy and soft quotes on your twitter so that was a dead give-away.”

“Well, yes. I’m dating someone.”

“Boy? Girl?”

“Girl, duh.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Her friend squealed, “Who is it? Show me a picture, let me approve.”

“It’s Santana Lopez.”

The two friends fell quiet.

“The famous singer?” One of them asked.

“Hun, she’s hardly famous anymore. Are we sure she still even exists?”

“Hey!” Y/N pouted. “But I’m telling you the truth. It’s Santana.”

“Real funny, she doesn’t even live in New York.”

“Uh, yeah, she does.”

“No, she doesn’t. TMZ said she moved back to Ohio after the break-up.”

Y/N shook her head, “They also said she started dating a 80 year-old billionaire and bought a pet alpaca, which I think is ridiculous. You’re too gullible.”

Her friend shrugged, “Perhaps, yeah. But hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us who it really is yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes when they switched the topic.

✫彡

“How did it go, babe? Were you happy to see them again?”

“You’re not going to believe me but they thought I was joking.”

“Joking about what?”

Y/N sat down next to Santana on the couch, immediately cuddling up to her. “Well, they didn’t believe I was dating you.”

“Why would they not believe you?”

“I think you forgot that you’re kinda famous.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m hardly famous.”

Y/N mocked her, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from Santana but her smile soon disappeared.

“Um...”

“No bad news, please!” Y/N immediately noticed the change in Santana.

“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I don’t think it’s bad news— it’s just... a lot...to deal with right now.”

“Just rip the bandaid off.”

Santana grabbed her phone and showed Y/N the post.

“Oh...” Y/N swiped and saw that she had been photographed as well.

“I know we said we would take things slow so I’m so sorry that the media is trying to fuck that up again.” Santana examined Y/N, who was difficult to read. “This is exactly what ruined everything last time. Fuck! Here I thought it would be different this time around. I should’ve never-”

“Santana, sshh.” Y/N grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “Stop thinking.”

Santana looked up like a sad puppy.

“Nothing is getting ruined again. Not on my watch.” She put the phone on the coffee table, “Let’s just ignore that. Let them start rumours, let them guess, let them make up drama but the only two people who really know the truth are you and I. It’s our life, not theirs. So no matter what they will say, I will love you unconditionally for as long as you want me to... and I will never feel differently... about you.”

Santana's head shot up, looking puzzled and panicked at the same time.

“W-Where did you get that from?”

Y/N smiled at Santana and caressed her cheek, “You need to find better hiding places, babe.”

Y/N suddenly looked worried, “Unless that song wasn’t about me... then... well, this is awkward. Just-”

“I love you.” Santana cut her off, tears in her eyes. She felt the urge to pinch herself but decided it would look silly. Was she really in love again after all that she’d been through?

“I love you too, unconditionally. And... you better make that song your first single.”

✫彡

“Guys, I’m literally in the pictures with her?!”

“Yah, but you look more like a fan of her than her girlfriend, look at you... swooning.”

“I mean, yes, I adore everything she does...”

Y/N’s friend leaned over and smiled, “So you’re really dating the Santana Lopez?”

“I mean, I sure hope she does...” Santana walked up to their table in the little cafe, startling Y/N’s friends while the girl just looked at them with a smirk on her face. Finally.

Santana sat down next to her and gave her girlfriend a kiss before turning back to the two friends sitting in front of them.

“Is that enough proof or do you need me to bend her o-”

“That’s enough!” Y/N gave Santana a playful slap across the head.

“Oh my God, no!” Y/N’s friend exclaimed, “Speak for yourself! Imagine the money I’d make with a tape of that! I’d finally be the rich bitch I’ve always been deep down.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at him and it earned a laugh from Santana, “I like you.”

“Why, muchas gracias.”

“Wow, thanks for completely taking my spotlight. Hi, i’m her best friend, he’s just our accessory.”

“Excuse me?!”

Y/N shook her head at the two of them.

“Are you regretting you came along?” Y/N turned to her girlfriend.

“We wouldn’t judge you if you said yes, to be honest.” Her friend laughed.

Santana smiled at them, “No, it’s been a while since I met new people and you two seem fun and well, you mean a lot to this one over here so I’m happy to be here.”

Y/N snuggled up to Santana and put her head on her shoulder.

“Alright, go and make me jealous. It’s fine.”

“Shut up! Now tell us how you two met, please!”

✫彡

Santana couldn’t stop playing with her fingers and the bracelets on her wrist as the hours passed. Only a few more minutes now until her new song ‘My Unconditional Love’ would go online, for the world to hear. There had been a lot of speculations about the two women the past few months, but they had tried to be more discreet when they were outside. Much to the dismay of the paparazzi and tabloids. This song would basically be a dead give away to their relationship but she didn’t care. This song already meant so much to her and Santana hoped she could write plenty more songs like these about Y/N.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Y/N’s voice interrupted her thinking.

“Wh- No, never! It’s probably my favourite song I ever wrote... it’s just... nerve-wracking, is all.”

“C’mere.”

Santana walked into Y/N’s open arms and let out a big sigh at the feeling of her arms around her.

“You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you... but most of all, I’m happy to be on this ride with you. I know this song will point a lot of fingers to us dating but hey, like we said before— no one needs to know but us and our friends and families. Capiche?”

Santana nodded and grabbed the girl’s cheeks, “I’m so happy with you.”

They both beamed from ear to ear until the bell rang. Santana opened the door.

“I’m so excited!” Kurt squealed and dragged Rachel along inside.

“It’s time, guys!” Y/N sang as she appeared from the kitchen, trying to balance a tray with four champagne glasses on it.

“Hook your phone up to the speakers!” Rachel grabbed a glass. Santana’s new song started playing which earned raised eyebrows from the three others.

“This isn’t the same song you sent me?!” Kurt exclaimed.

“No, it is. It’s just not the slow version. I’m keeping that version for us.” Santana grabbed Y/N’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It felt too special to share.”

“Well, damn, I’m digging this one, too!”

They started dancing together to the upbeat song. Y/N kept staring at Santana, who seemed too excited and happy to notice.

Her unconditional love.

#santana lopez #santana lopez imagine #santana lopez imagines #santana lopez x reader #santana lopez one shot #santana / you #santana/you #glee #glee imagine #glee imagines #glee one shot #glee x reader #naya rivera imagine #naya rivera imagines #naya river x reader #brittana imagines

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sunshinejins · 4 years ago

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if i was dying on my knees (you’d be the one to rescue me)

(title from brother by kodaline)

so, hi! jatp has reignited my desire to write again and this time i think i might actually finish a whole fic. so uh, here it is :) please let me know if you like it, I’ll hopefully update asap, but i’m in uni so asap may be in like two weeks. unless people really like it. then, probably sooner lmao.

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

warnings: death bc rose, and i swear once but other than that i think nothing else?

Julie didn’t want to be frustrated, she really didn’t. In fact, she wanted to be sad, mourning, depressed, or literally anything other than slightly pissed off all the time. It’s incredibly exhausting to be angry all the time, and she felt like being sad would at least give her blood a break from simmering.

But her mom died. And apparently her body only knows how to process grief by developing a rather annoying tendency to be irritated constantly.

She tries to forget it though. Instead of wallowing in the negative feelings that cloud her family in the months following Rose Molina’s death, she throws herself into distractions. She gets a job at a coffee shop near the USC campus and puts almost all her effort into becoming a top employee. Her grades don’t drop because thankfully her professors seemed to all inherently understand that she just couldn’t sing anymore. Like at all.

The world kept spinning. Julie could only hope to hold on.

That’s how she ended up, six months later, complaining over a milk frother about her very well-intentioned best friend to the only person she knew would listen.

“Flynn just doesn’t understand,” Julie moans, shutting off the machine and dumping the contents unceremoniously into a to-go cup. Her coworker, Allison, raises an eyebrow and swipes a rag at the milk spill that pools under the cup.

“Did she try to get you to sing again?”

“Surprise karaoke night with her girlfriend and a couple kids from class. Her intentions were pure though so I don’t even know why I’m upset.” Julie shoves a lid onto the cup and slides it across the counter to a pre-occupied businessman who doesn’t notice the extra milk soaked into the bottom. Allison nods thoughtfully and starts dumping coffee beans into the espresso machine. Julie watches her with slight awe. Allison was one of those people that terrified Julie when she met her; everything about her felt polished and put together down to the blunt cut of her pale blonde hair and the curve of her smirk when she smiled. Soon enough, Julie discovered that she was as warm as any of her other friends, but it had taken a lot of closing shifts and smoothie runs to come to that conclusion.

Allison sets down the bag of coffee beans and gives Julie one of her solemn looks; it’s the sort of look where Julie thinks Allison could probably read her mind if she tried hard enough.

“Maybe they’re going about it wrong. You haven’t been around music properly in what? A year? What if you just need to sit and listen to music again to just get you used to the environment?” Julie thinks for a moment. Allison raises a fair point, and it’s the complete opposite tactic that everyone else has been trying, which has been to shove music in front of her to sing and give her expectant and hopeful looks. It’s a trial run. Something casual.

“Where would I go?” Allison smiles a bit and passes Julie a container of oat milk to put away.

“There’s a bar off Sunset that’s hosting an open mic tonight. Very relaxed and casual vibes. I could pick you up from your apartment and take you. We haven’t hung out since that movie night a while ago.” Julie hesitates. It’s not that she’s opposed to spending a night with Allison, but a small part of her feels like she’s cheating on her current circle of emotional support humans by agreeing to go. Not that her dad or Carlos or Tia would mind, but Flynn would possibly take offence and that alone stalled Julie for longer than she realized. Allison clocks the look on her face and amends the statement.

“Flynn is obviously welcome too.”

A mind reader, Julie swears.

“Hell yeah. Let’s do this.”

***

Julie’s feeling significantly less optimistic when Allison’s car has been driven away by the valet and herself, Flynn, and Allison are all standing in line outside the club. Julie can feel the bass of the songs playing more than she can hear them, but the proximity of music is enough to make her palms sweat. Other than the music the coffee shop plays and the strains of country she hears through Carlos’ wall, Julie hasn’t heard proper music since Tia Victoria sang “Amazing Grace” for her mother’s funeral. Flynn notices her nervous look.

“Chill, Jules. It’s all very chill. We’re just gonna listen to a couple bands.”

“Flynn’s right. And if at any point you want to bail, we can go get soft pretzels.”

“But we should try and stay for the whole thing!”

“However, we’re also going to respect you if you can’t do that,” Allison punctuates this sentence with a meaningful eyebrow raise and Flynn nods vigorously. Julie swallows and tries to mimic the courage she had a few hours ago. The bartender scrutinizes their IDs for a moment before allowing them to sweep into the bar and Julie’s jaw nearly drops at the volume of people contained inside. Nearly every seat is filled, and the standing areas are packed with people all jamming to the band onstage that’s currently playing what Julie has to admit is a pretty kick ass cover of “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.

Allison somehow discovers a table near the edge of the bar, and disappears off to get them drinks. Flynn’s rocking out already, and Julie feels a few of the nerves in her stomach even out as the realization that she doesn’t have to sing sinks into her bones. Allison was right, unsurprisingly. If she focuses hard enough, she can even push out the memories of coming to these sorts of open nights with her mom. Flynn shoots her a large and grateful grin and Julie lets herself smile back. She’s taking a step. She’s doing it.

Allison returns as the band switches and a new band begins to play a hyped up cover of “Africa” by Toto. The three girls lapse into quiet appreciation of the music, with Flynn singing along to every song played, Allison bobbing her head to herself and occasionally letting out a few notes in her vocal range, and Julie just quietly appreciating the fact that she doesn’t feel like throwing up.

It’s all very casual, just like her friends said.

Until it’s not.

As the third band of the night begins their last song, Julie retreats to find the bathroom. It’s hidden nearly backstage, and she’s just about to make it to the door when she hears the panicked shouts of someone from near the curtain which separates the small backstage from the actual performing area.

“Dude, I cannot believe he bailed on us.”

“Are you really surprised? Bobby was a piece of shit.”

“Hey, he didn’t use to be!”

“Calm down, Reg. You know he’s been treating us like garbage ever since that record label thought he had a ‘marketable voice’ or whatever they said.”

“Guys he bailed on us, what are we supposed to do?”

Julie, despite all the “stranger danger” lessons running through her brain, backed up far enough to see into the backstage area. Three guys stood there, two with a guitar and a bass each and one with drumsticks he was nervously twirling. The one with the guitar had his face buried in his hands and kept swearing heavily under his breath. The other two seemed frozen in their own panic as well. Guitar Player removed his hands from his face and Julie caught a glimpse of worried hazel eyes and dark curls. Bass Player opened his arms and Guitar Player tumbled into them for a hug while Drum Player rubbed his back. The three guys looked absolutely wrecked.

Here’s the thing: Julie had an uncontrollable urge to help people. It’s how she got roped into half of Flynn’s schemes, how she ended up teaching Carlos all of his second grade science curriculum herself, and how she somehow became the unofficial backbone of her family after her mom died. Seeing three guys utterly wrecked because, presumably, their fourth bandmate had bailed on them? It activated that uncontrollable urge deep in her stomach.

Here’s another thing: Julie hasn’t played music or sang in six months. She’s had no desire to, and every time she’s tried, the distinct urge to throw up overtook her. Tonight was supposed to be the baby step that showed her whether or not music was something she could seriously consider again; whether or not she could feel that itch to perform anymore.

“Hey, do you guys need a fourth?”

She felt the itch.

The three guys looked up in varying levels of shock. Drum Player recovered first, and stepped towards her hesitantly, wringing his pink hoodie as he did.

“Um, what?”

“It sounded like someone bailed on you. I can play. If you need it.” Guitar Player recovers next and nearly bounds over to her in barely contained excitement.

“You can play rhythm guitar?”

“No,” the three boys deflate, “I can play piano though.” Guitar Player tilts his head to the side as though playing a melody through in his head. He turns back to the other two.

“Bright could fit piano.”

“We never wrote the music for a piano component,” Drum Player wrinkles his nose.

“I did,” Guitar Player admits. The other two don’t look phased, though Bass Player does raise an eyebrow. “I was bored!”

“Okay, but we don’t want to put you out,” Drum Player turns back to Julie and she swallows.

“No, I offered. Let me see the music.”

“Okay, but you have like ten minutes!” Bass Player finally chips in with a surprisingly cheerful tone. Guitar Player hands Julie what looks like a piece of notebook paper and her eyes skim the words and notes. It’s feasible for sure, but she can feel the nerves prickling at her stomach. Guitar Player leans into her space and she clocks how ridiculously attractive he is up close. He gives her a smile.

“We alternative verses like this, see? And I don’t know your range, but we can figure that out on the go.” Julie gives him a small smile.

“Somewhere between mezzo-soprano and soprano.”

“We can work with that.” Guitar Player seems to vibrate with energy. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“No pressure,” Bass Player adds.

“Like seriously, none. We can just go home and cry,” Drum Player says. Julie isn’t sure. She really isn’t. In fact, she’s pretty sure she should just run away and hope she never sees these guys again.

“I’m sure.”

Well, that’s that.

Guitar Player sends her a smile that looks genuinely like someone has funnelled sunlight into his body and Julie feels the nerves lift for half a second. Then, they’re called to the stage and all of a sudden she feels like she could puke all over again. Guitar Player grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“You got this.”

Julie files out with the rest of the band and she’s extremely grateful her friends aren’t sitting in her direct line of sight. The piano is definitely worn out from use, but her fingers settle naturally on the keys and Julie tries to focus on the budding itch to perform in her stomach rather than the urge to throw up. She’s supposed to start this song. This song that she became aware of ten minutes earlier. She catches Guitar Player’s eye and he nods encouragingly.

She presses down on the keys and opens her mouth.

Sometimes I think I'm falling down

I wanna cry, I'm calling out

For one more try to feel alive

And when I feel lost and alone

I know that I can make it home

Fight through the dark and find the spark

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #julie x luke #julie molina x luke patterson #juke #jukebox #jukebox fanfiction #juke fanfiction #julie x luke fanfiction #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp #my writing #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #can i possibly tag this with anything else??? idk

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jaminjims · 5 years ago

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bts 8th member {imagine}

a/n: ok so this was the child of my 1-5am mind that was running off of chips ahoy cookies and diet root beer, and honestly?? kinda proud of myself lmao. i felt like i was kinda lacking with my boys au update this week and i wanted to feed you guys with more content so, here you go! (also sorry if it’s a little rushed, i just started writing and didn’t stop) i lob ya’ll

pairing: bts x reader (it’s sorta implied as a m!reader bc bts is a boy group and i refer to you as he maybe twice throughout, but it can be read as any gender! although i do make you refer to the older boys as hyung. you can also read it as ot7 but you don’t have to, there are fluffy moments between everyone)

genre: pretty angsty but also pretty fluffy

warnings: panic attack, loneliness, anxiety medication, brief mention of insomnia, extreme dieting, sleep medication

words: 4.2k

~**~

you trained in bighit for two years before you were put into a group and you could easily say that those years were probably the hardest of your life

in the beginning, you were ecstatic to be accepted because being an idol was your dream, even if it was a small company. you had lost count how many times you dreamed about debuting and just making people (who you couldn’t wait to call your fans) happy

over time, you wouldn't say you lost your drive to continue, but your bright outlook on the future dimmed and the pressure of everything had begun to build up and it had gotten really hard

you had to train everyday: singing lessons, dancing lessons, exercising. and on top of that? you also had to study for school and continue to get good grades

after all, that was your parents only rule if you wanted to become an idol

your parents were also happy for you, but if they also became worried. because being away from home and the pressure of school and training without the fact they could look after you, it worried them to no end

they called you everyday and asked how you were doing, and you would tell them the truth about how you missed them so much that it almost hurt and if you were eating a lot (if your training even aloud it) and that you were staying hydrated and healthy

and sometimes, you were worried about yourself too

there have been multiple times that you thought you were going to break, how you thought you couldn’t continue to live like this because you weren't aloud to eat much and the classes and school work and just everything began to pile up

but this was your dream, and no one said it was going to be easy

that's the thought that kept you believing in the future, kept you believing in yourself. all of your hard work was going to pay off and you knew it was going to be worth it

right?

the times when you sang so much your throat went raw, the times when you danced so much to the point of exhaustion, and then collapsed but didn’t eat enough afterward. those were the hardest

your parents came close to pulling you out of training more times than you could keep track of

but you persisted. you had already made it this far, what's the point of dropping out now?

the first year of training was exhausting, but you were so proud of yourself because this was the hardest task you had ever done and you were getting through it!

the second year though, was probably worse than the first. that was the year when you really started to miss your family, and with trainee's constantly coming in and out of the dorms, you really had no one to connect with

there were nights where you would cry yourself to sleep because of everything

it didn't help when your trainers put you in remedial classes, because you were pretty good at dancing, but not so much at singing

the extra classes got in the way of your school work, and more often than not, you found yourself missing at least two classes a week because of them

but it was ok, you told yourself. if you had made it this far and gave up, then what would the last year of training be?

but there are only so many times you could tell yourself that before the words started to lose their meaning and you had come so close to dropping out because a person could only have so many anxiety attacks and meltdowns before they just broke completely

but it was like something looked down on you and suddenly: the moment was there. you were put into a group and immediately cried on the spot then and there, even when the others in the dorms could see

you had called your parents right after and were so happy, you couldn’t even get the words out and they could only half understand you

you knew it was going to be worth it and even though you almost aloud yourself to give up, you would be willing to do it all again

that's when you vowed to yourself: you were never going to give this up for anything

and even though you didn’t get the grades your parents really expected of you, it was ok

you were here, you made it

meeting the rest of the bts members for the first time was something that you would always remember, and even though you would come to laugh at the first meeting with them in the future, it was hella embarrassing

“hello, my name is y/n. please treat me kindly and i look forward to working with you.”

well, at least that's what you tried to say

instead it came out more like this: “hello. y/n. nice working kindly with you, please treat me forwardly.”

yeah, you die every time you think about it. the look on their faces as you flush in embarrassment would become the faces of your paralysis demons for months afterward because god could you seriously be any more socially awkward?

the answer to that question was: of course you could!

even though you weren't the shyest (that would probably go to the youngest, jungkook) you were probably the one to mess up the most and then think about it in the most inopportune of times

like for example, it was one of your first dance practices together and you were thinking so hard about not messing up anything, you ran into the door on the way out of the practice room after it was over

yeah, this time most of the members couldn’t hold back their laughs, and even though you knew it wasn't to make fun of you, you still flushed the color of crimson because christ what the hell is wrong with your brain function?

your face was probably two shades redder permanently because of the amount of embarrassing moments you had still have

that was probably the reason you become closer to jungkook first because (excluding the fact that the both of you were close in age, you only one year older) you were both the shyest

also, videogames who? ya’ll know her very well

most of you and jungkook’s bonding moments came from your mutual love of videogames and the relationship was THRIVING

“hey wanna play minecraft?” “kook it's two am.” “well then why are you still awake?” “to see how long it would take you to ask me to play minecraft. i already have the server open.” you both would then probably get blown up by creepers and you would yell before one of the others came scolded you both for staying up way to late and making noise

and once you bonded with jungkook, it was only natural that the rest of you bonded too (sharing a room does that to people)

when you were practicing the i need u choreo, for some reason your timing was off and you knew that but you just didn’t know where it went wrong and that one mistake was driving you crazy

dancing was the thing you were supposed to be good at and that fact that you kept messing up weighed hard on you and made you lose confidence

but it was hoseok who had found you hours after practice had ended, laying down with your arms across your face because you were just so frustrated with yourself that you felt like crying and at this point hoseok had known you long enough that you weren’t the type to ask for help even if you needed it

“y/n, you ok?”

“hyung, i-” you choked up and you got even angrier at yourself because are you really crying over this?

hoseok rushed to your side and helped you sit up, but you didn't take your hands off your face

he instead took your hands in his gently and swayed them back and forth, “yah~ it’s going to be alright.” he gave you a the hobi smile and you couldn’t help but lighten up

he pulled you up and together the both of you practiced until jin forced you to come home and sleep because “they had already missed dinner, god damnit.”

you nailed the choreo almost every time after that

or when you were recording vocals for spring day and you kept messing up and your voice kept cracking and the other guys had already gone to their lunch break while you were still sitting in the studio, practicing your lines

the other seven sat in the practice room eating and got worried that you were going to miss lunch altogether so they nominated jimin to go collect you because they knew that you weren't confident in your voice even though they told you almost everyday that it was amazing

jimin walked in on you singing your part in the song and smiled at how smooth your voice sounded but then frowned when you suddenly stopped and cursed because “why can’t i sing? what the hell y/n.”

you had yet to see jimin enter the recording studio but you defineitly felt when he wrapped his hands around your torso in a comforting gesture

you relaxed in his hold and sighed out as he whispered in your ear, “your voice is perfect and it fits you y/n-ah. it’s going to be ok.”

you teared up and turned around in his hold and properly hugged him. “i love you hyung.”

and you really did, you loved all of them

and you pride yourself on being the one that helps every one and makes sure they are doing alright, mentally and physically

you would get scolded by your hyung's and occasionally by the maknae that you should look after yourself better and that it wasn’t your job to always look after everyone, even more so if you are younger

like when you stay up late to wait up for yoongi to comeback from his studio even into the early mornings, and when he doesn’t you bring food and go to him instead because “i’m here for you hyung. and it's been awhile since I've seen you.” “it’s been four hours, y/n” “yeah, four hours to long.”

but he would eat the food you bring him anyway because he secretly likes your visits and wouldn’t trade them for anything

he always asks you if you’re ok though, “you getting enough sleep?” “why are you up so late?”

you always answer honestly, “i’ve been staying up really late to get things done when i was a trainee, so i’m used to it. it kinda just happens now.”

he frowns but can’t really fault you because he does the same thing sometimes. but still, he doesn’t stan sleep depraviety

or when namjoon gets stressed before interviews (it doesn't happen as much recently but it did when they were younger) especially ones where he had to speak english

you would always give him massages and reassure him that everything will be fine and that he was the best leader he could've asked for

the way joon smiles with his dimples gets you melting every time and you can’t stop yourself from poking him and calling him cute just to tease him, even though he’s older

he always gets this blush on his face and swats at your hands, but he never does lose his smile

you try your best to learn english because you want to take some of his stress away and help him in any way you can

and it’s because you all try to help and build up each other in any way you can, is why you all work so well and just flow together

like how you and tae just casually switch clothes sometimes because “y/n has the best fasion sense in bts” and you because you just like the way he smells (which, for the love of god, you will never admit to him, or anybody, outloud)

“hey y/n have you seen my purple hoodie?” then he would walk out of his room to see you covered in his hoodie eating ramen and smiles “never mind, i’ll just wear your white one” and then it’ll be your turn to smile

or when you assist jin in the kitchen because you actually really love cooking too and you two end up goofing off

“hyung the pasta is gonna burn!” “aish, then stop distracting me with your childish antics!” “oh did you hear something? must be the wind.” and both of your laughter would echo out, making the other members smile and sometimes laugh along with you

you’re also a regular on eatjin and army just love seeing the interactions between you two

but as much as you all get along, there are still many fights that happen because no relationship is perfect

it gets really stressful when you see members fight with each other because you have never been the one for conflict and would choose to avoid it when you could. you would always apologize first because you had a weak heart and hated when anyone was mad or upset at you

but sometimes the stress and pressure get to much and there are moments where they can't help but blow up at each other

“damn it! why can’t you get this move right!” someone would say, after doing the dance for the fourth time

“i’m learning it just like you are! calm down!”

it would sometimes stop there and the two occupants would apologize and they would continue to work, helping each other when needed. other times it would escalate and you would sit and watch because what could you do?

it would usually be one of the older ones to calm everyone down but practice would be cut short and there would be this tension in the air that felt suffocating and it comes to a point where you or someone else would end up speaking up and force the two to talk but they would become stronger and more understanding after the fight, because that's who they were and how they worked

but those were only small fights and you have only initiated them enough times to count on one hand, but the big fights are the ones who leave you feeling drained and powerless because you were never one show big acts of emotion so when you did you felt tired afterward

a big fight that you were apart of that really impacted your relationship with he wrest of the members happened all the way back in 2017

you were more jumpy the past few months and the members knew you didn't get barely any sleep

they also knew that you had been under fire from the media and haters because of a false rumor, and haters had been constantly pointing out your flaws and every little thing they could find wrong with you

you had also lost a lot of weight and that's what really hurt them, they felt like they were slowly losing you and they had tried to bring it up with you a thousand times before, but you would just brush them off and tell that you were ok when they could clearly see that you weren’t

it was when you fainted during a costume change in a concert that they drew the line

you had woken up later back in the dorm with about a million messages on your phone from news sites and family (and of course the other members to check on you to see if you were awake yet)

“y/n suddenly disappears from concert” “does y/n really care about army?”

those where only a few titles that he saw on articles and it only added fuel to the fire for the false rumors and hate

you had sat on your bed that you presumed the medics dropped you off at and based on the time, it had been about an hour and a half and the concert should be wrapping up soon

and you cried.

the rumors, the hate, the other members treating you like you would break any moment. you were letting people down and oh my god, you actually were breaking and couldn't stop it

it was already hard thinking about letting the fans down because they were your everything and you would go to any length to make them happy

but also letting your members down? your parents?

that was excruciating

because you had found seven other boys that you had grown so close to that you could count on but what were you if they couldn’t count on you?

when they came back after the concert all worn out and tired, their first thought was still about you and if you were ok

the maknae line almost broke down in tears at the sight of your sleeping form and how it was very much apparent that you had cried. so much that your eyes were red and puffy and you had a deep frown on your face even in sleep

the hyung’s left to talk when the maknae’s got into your bed with you nd held you because they were legitimately scared that they wouldn’t see you again when you collapsed (jimin on your left, jungkook on your right, and taehyung after jimin)

hobi was the first to speak when they closed your bedroom door. “we need to force him to do something.”

namjoon sighed, “that might make it worse, hyung.”

“well the medic said, just by looking at y/n, that he was malnourished and sleep deprived! i-i don’t know what to do!” his voice cracked and he went to sit on the couch, seokjin sitting down next to him to try to provide any comfort he could

there was a silence that followed the group after the outburst and finally yoongi whispered out. “i’m so scared.”

it was tired and broken and they all felt the same way he did

jin and hoseok fell asleep on the couch together while namjoon and yoongi retired to their own bedrooms, to tired from the events of the day

everyone had woken up before you did and the somber mood from yesterday still permeated the air

it was the most you slept in two months.

when you woke up, you probably felt worse than before

your face was swollen, your head was pounding, you were starving, and just all around miserable

the members somewhat knew what you were going through. they knew that you felt like you had let the fans down and they were very conscious of the hate you were getting right now

when you walked into the kitchen at eleven (all activities halted for the day. another thing that was your fault.) the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, talking about the best way to help you

you had simply walked in and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, trying to avoid the others because you knew the conversation that was coming and you weren’t looking forward to it

jin saw you first and got up from his chair and gently held your wrist to prevent you from leaving

“come here, you need to eat y/n-ah.” he said softly. he then pulled you over to the table, and you let him

everyone went quiet and you just simply put your head down on the table because what could you say? that you were fine? because it was very obvious you weren’t

when jin came back with a plate of food, he gently massaged your neck until you sat up and taehyung sitting on your other side held your hand

jin feed you himself when you made no move to and they were happy to see you eat more than you usually did, but not enough to fully sustain you

when he saw you wouldn’t eat anymore, jin sighed and pushed the food away. he went back to massaging your neck as you put your head back down on the table

namjoon spoke up from across you, “how are you feeling?” he spoke softly

“mm head hurts.” your voice was raspy and even softer

“we need to talk to you.” yoongi then said and this was the moment you were dreading the most

they tried to get you to talk about how you were feeling mentally and tried to be there for you but when namjoon brought up doctors and medication is when you broke

you even surprised yourself when you started yelling (this was probably the first time you really did at them)

“i’m already messed up enough as it is! i don’t need more flaws that will just bring everyone down! is that what you really think? that i’m that messed up?”

they tried so hard to keep calm but you were slowly driving yourself insane and what you were saying was also just so hurtful that they couldn’t help but get heated back

jimin was quick to catch you when you started swaying on your feet because your head was still pounding and it was getting hard to breathe and you couldn’t focus on anything, the others voices blurring together around you

you had to lean back against him and you heard him say something but you couldn’t make out what it was because you couldn’t breathe and your lungs were heaving because you needed air

the voices around you became softer and there were hands trying to sooth you but nothing was working

it wasn’t until there was a soft whisper that you heard in your ear from someone that told you to “breathe for me y/n. please breathe for me baby.”

you then took a big breath and then another and another and the others began to breathe again too once they realized your panic attack was over

you couldn't help the sobs that escaped you and it was just so heart broken and scared that others teared up with you

hoseok hugged you from the front as jimin was still supporting you from the back and you clung to him. “i’m so scared” and “i’m sorry” were the only two phrases you could seem to get out at the moment

“it’s not your fault. it never will be your fault.” and they would feel guilty because they knew you just needed help and they couldn’t fault you for getting upset because the media could be so harsh

it got even worse when you would later admit that you just didn’t want to bring them down because of course you would think like that. them before you, always

so they stayed by your side every waking second and became even more clingy if possible because dammit, it was ok to let yourself be takin care for once and a while and this time they were going to make you take care of yourself before you took care of them

when you were diagnosed with anxiety and sleep medication, they were with you every step of the way and made sure that you were taking them properly because they knew you still were against the idea of taking medication. it had the chance of getting out, and the media didn’t look kindly upon idols who had to resort to such

jungkook would be the one, more often than not, to make sure you take them, and on bad nights the only thing that would get you to comply is when he would say “if you take them it will help me sleep better.”

and it always worked because he knew you would do anything to make sure they were happy

the road to recovery was hard and there were of course ups and downs but at the end of the day, you had them and you couldn't imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t

the fights, the laughter, the crying, you would go through it all again if it meant you would get to stay with them

life as an idol wasn’t easy, but with them, it was just that much easier and you couldn’t ask for a better family

yeah, they were your family

and when you stood up on that stage, tearing up to see all yours fans chanting your names, you knew this was worth it

because you had made it, you built yourselves from the ground up and had loyal fans that would do almost anything for you and that support was worth more than anything

so no longer was your dream to just become an idol and have fans. no, it was so much bigger than that

you evolved and your dream along with you

you truly loved your fans and more than that, the family and community you had helped create along with the rest of these amazing boys that you were proud to call your everything

so standing up on that stage, you cried tears of joy because in this moment, there was no place you would rather be

and afterward you all would cuddle, because who wouldn’t love that, right?

[end]

end note: this was seriously too long and i enjoyed writing this wayyy to much. like i seriously made myself cry?? the part with the panic attack?? i swear i almost ugly sobbed omfg. also, would anyone be interested in seeing other parts to this? like i would absolutely love to take requests for this and make it a mini series if ya’ll are interested in something like that. i just love you guys to much lmao

also sorry if there was any mistakes, apparently i like writing at ass o'clock in the morning where my one braincell can barely function so there are probably many of them, but i was just so excited to get this out and so i didn’t read over it jsfjkgb

~**~ masterlist

taglist: @boba-tea1206

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years ago

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Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021

Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.

So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.

That was until my friend showed up at my house...

He called me and said to come outside, so I did.

It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.

I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.

I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.

We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.

It was gonna be a great fucking concert.

Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.

We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.

We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.

I love these things.

Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.

It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.

So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.

I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.

What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.

When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.

I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.

I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.

Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.

But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.

I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.

Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.

Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.

Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.

It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.

After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.

Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.

"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."

The crowd sings along to every word.

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"

The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.

This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.

Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:

"We will, we will rock you"

"I love rock and roll"

"Hey, Ho, let's go"

A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.

All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.

I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"

I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line 🤣"

It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.

The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.

It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.

I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.

When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.

It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.

Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.

Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.

At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.

"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."

Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.

"Turn the house lights off."

The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.

"Look at that."

It was honestly an incredible moment.

That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.

Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.

If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.

I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.

Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.

I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.

I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.

And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.

I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.

That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.

Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.

BEST PART IS:

I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,

"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"

I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.

The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."

I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT

HERE IT IS

YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE

But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.

Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."

Agreed.

Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.

Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.

I got home.

I passed out.

Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH

I hope you enjoyed

Be good people!!!!

-Leonna

#Concert #Green Day #Fall Out Boy #Weezer #The Interrupters #Green Day Concert #Daily Blog #Blog #Trans #LGBTQ #alternative rock #Alternative #Pop Punk #Punk Rock

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hiccanna-tidbits · 4 years ago

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Hiccanna--100 OTP Questions, Part 2

So I said I would finish this OTP question meme someday--and I decided, entirely on random impulse, that “someday” is today!!! My Hiccanna-centered account has not been producing enough Hiccanna content lately, and this simply WILL not do.

QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions

LINK TO PART 1: https://hiccanna-tidbits.tumblr.com/post/635744326176129024/hiccanna-100-otp-questions-meme-part-1 51. Does either of them know how to fight? I mean...canonically yeah, they both do??? Lol I mean Hiccup has his fire sword and obviously would know how to fight with the weapons he makes/invents, and Anna literally just instinctively grabs a sword to protect her buddies in Frozen 2 and I mean we all really love Sword Anna anyways and also she PUNCHES A MAN OFF OF A BOAT so long story short yes they can both fight 52. What do they do for Valentines Day? Anna rents a rom-com and pulls Hiccup down onto their couch to watch it with her, and he kinda internally groans because he figures it’ll be something super sappy and cheesy and Anna will just be squealing with delight the whole time. Legit as soon as the first scene begins, Anna begins brutally roasting the main couple. Turns out it’s a really terrible rom-com and Anna rented it solely to make fun of it. Hiccup is like “aight this definitely wasn’t what I was expecting but I’m on board” Also Hiccup gets Anna like 3 boxes of fancy chocolate because...do I really need to explain? Anna gets Hiccup a particularly aesthetic floral arrangement for their kitchen table, something she knows damn well he secretly likes but would never admit XD 53. Who swears more? Anna, for sure. This tends to surprise people, but Anna is actually a notorious pottymouth when she gets comfortable XD Hiccup has a pretty big and borderline pretentious vocabulary, and so he tends to express his frustration in more...articulate ways when things don’t go his way. Like he’d stub his toe and just say “wow, I’d literally rather saw off my other leg than have to deal with this right now” while Anna, in the same situation, would let loose every curse word known to man XD 54. Who has the better comebacks? Hiccup, absolutely. His smart-ass comments to every conceivable situation on earth go absolutely unmatched. Anna can’t help but envy how he can almost instinctually pull out a near-perfect snide remark within seconds, whilst she, at best, thinks of the ideal comeback in the shower 3 days later. 55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? I feel like Anna would seek out the most passive-aggressive, bitchy, entitled Karen and just wait with barely-concealed anticipation for her to say something super awful so Anna can just nail her in the face right in front of all the other moms Hiccup and their kids, meanwhile, can’t help but be awed at their wife/mother’s impressive Right Hook 56. Who reads buzzfeed? Anna. Hiccup keeps being like “you know half the stuff on there is total bullshit, right?” and Anna just shrugs like “who cares? It’s entertaining!” 57. Who is the hopeless romantic? Anna, good god, ANNA. After the whole Hans debacle I imagine she’s a bit more subdued about so openly showing this part of her personality, but at heart she just can’t stop being a romantic. Once Hiccup catches wind of this, he naturally makes a point of frequently surprising her with Grand Romantic Gestures and such, which makes Anna’s entire face go bright fuckin red as she cries out “NO STOP WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS YOU’RE TOO NICE” 58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? Nope! They’d both fall on their faces and it would be hilarious. 59. Who can rap better? I love the idea of them both being looped into a rap battle somehow and Anna just dreading it immensely because she figures they both really suck and then when it’s their turn Hiccup comes out and busts out the BEST, MOST SAVAGE RHYMES Anna has ever heard COMPLETELY ad lib and the poor girl just goes completely catatonic with shock for like 10 minutes. 60. Do either of them want to go sky diving? See initially I was gonna say Hiccup definitely would not because it would give the poor boy an anxiety attack, but then I remembered he basically skydives in canon??? And Anna strikes me as a bit of adrenaline junkie too, so fuck it--yeah, I think they’d both enjoy it. 61. What do they usually text about? They talk a lot about movies, games, books, and shows they both like, I imagine--Hiccup especially likes to overanalyze them to ridiculous extents and Anna thinks this is adorable. The rest of the time, they send each other dumb memes and talk about random animal fun facts. Anna likes to brag that her boyfriend knows more lizard trivia than anyone else on the planet, and how many lizard facts does YOUR boyfriend know? Probably little to none, you big loser. 62. Who is the dramatic one? Anna is INCREDIBLY dramatic. Although Hiccup certainly does have a “dramatic flair,” as he puts it, I still think Anna can out-dramatic him, at the end of the day XD Although perhaps admittedly not by much. 63. Is either one confrontational? Anna certainly can be. She’s usually pretty friendly, but if she ever feels like she’s being challenged, demeaned, mocked, or generally not taken seriously, she’s ready to go to WAR. She certainly not as soft as she might look! I imagine there’s situations where someone is being a dick to either Anna or someone else and Hiccup has to physically hold her back to keep her from just decking them XD 64. What is their favourite cuddle position? Probably just good old-fashioned spooning. Hiccup actually really loves being the little spoon (because Anna just makes him feel so damn safe), but he is loathe to admit it. They also have one I like to call the “Needy Cat,” where Anna just goes and completely drapes herself over Hiccup when he’s sitting on the couch. He’s usually in the middle of doing something else, and is forced to find ways to play video games/read his book/watch his show around Anna XD 65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)? Hiccup has exactly 3 music moods--pretentious classical stuff (to listen to while working on inventions), obscure underground 90s hipster bands no one’s heard of (to play air guitar to when no one else is home), and some more well-known emo/alt rock stuff (to sing along to in the car dramatically). I can see him liking Panic! at the Disco, The Killers, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, that kinda stuff. Anna, meanwhile, likes the trashiest, most generic-sounding pop music and refuses to apologize for dancing to it in the car XD She is most DEFINITELY a Swiftie, no question. She also likes some “edgier” bands like Paramore and Hey Monday. She went through a hardcore Avril Lavigne phase in middle school and she still totally listens to her but is embarrassed to say it. Also I feel like Anna would be into 90s/early 2000s boy bands??? She relates to the boys’ endless pining and just flips the genders in her head so the songs are about Hiccup (before they start dating obs) XD I AM DEFINITELY NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE, NO SIR 66. What are their parenting styles? Anna would probably be like...kind of stern, when she needs to be, but intensely nurturing as well, if her relationship with Elsa is anything to go by. Hiccup would be a pretty laid-back, chill dad who would probably try too hard to be cool and make no end of absolutely horrible dad jokes XD They both lowkey seem like the kind of parents who would end up letting their kids get away with a lot though lmao 67. Who would be the more laid back one? Hiccup probably. I mean, he IS the pacifist/diplomat guy, besides have you MET Anna??? Girl absolutely has NO chill. 68. Who listens to more vulgar music? Anna, surprisingly! Hiccup just kinda enjoys what he enjoys and doesn’t really feel the need to “prove” anything by listening to songs that swear a lot. Anna purposely listens to vulgar music to feed her hidden rebellious side and because it makes her feel badass XD She honestly kinda hates being written off as 100% wholesome and innocent all the time and will readily pull out the “I’M NOT A SWEET LITTLE FLOWER I SANG ALONG TO THAT SONG THAT JUST SAID FUCK SEE” line whenever given even the slightest chance XD 69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? Kind of depends on when in both their timelines they meet. If they meet in the middle of HTTYD 1 or Frozen 1, they probably wouldn’t tell the other right away that they have a dragon and an ice-powered supersister, respectively XD I definitely think they would as they came to trust each other, though. Also I read a headcanon that Hiccup has burn scars from the Red Death incident where he lost his leg, and that’s why he wears so much armor and generally long sleeves--and I kind of love that. So maybe Hiccup would be cagey with Anna about how he lost his leg and that whole incident for a while before he finally opens up to her about it. Other than that I feel like they’d be pretty honest with one another, other than maybe trying to hide the more embarrassing parts of themselves to impress the other person XD 70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? Jackunzel, obviously! They’d probably all go to an arcade or an amusement park or something else pretty fun and high-energy. 71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? I mean yes, they’re not huge assholes????? 72. How do they work out a fight? I imagine Anna tends to get more worked up and yelley and loud, while Hiccup doesn’t raise his voice much at all but can say some damn cutting things if he wants to. Since Anna probably gets angrier, I imagine she apologizes first, whether or not the fight was actually on her or not--it’s just kinda this girl’s default to apologize for everything XD She’d probably say sorry for yelling and probably overreacting, while Hiccup would also be EXTREMELY apologetic if he realized he crossed a line with one of his jabs at her. I imagine a lot of what they fight about is Anna doing some impulsive Dumb Shit^TM and Hiccup just being like “oh god DAMMIT that’s DANGEROUS you can’t just go WORRYING me like that!!!” and Anna getting offended because she kinda views this as him being a little overprotective and not trusting her to make her own decisions. Ironically, Anna occasionally also gets mad at HICCUP for doing Impulsive Dumb Shit, so he’s not always nearly as much the Voice of Reason as he thinks XD Hiccup also sometimes gets mad at Anna for not taking better care of herself (take it from a fellow ADHDer--we tend to Wallow in Despair sometimes, or straight-up forget to do basic care things like eat lunch XD)--I have an IRL friend who reminds me a lot of Hiccup and he’s ALWAYS getting on my case about not eating enough, not drinking enough water, constantly berating myself, stuff like that. I imagine Hiccup sometimes slips into Mom Mode with Anna when she gets in a bad spot, which she appreciates after the fact but kind of annoys her at the time because she wants really badly to be independent and all that. Basically TL;DR most of Anna and Hiccup’s fights can be resolved by Anna and Hiccup agreeing to next time Use A Brain Cell before they do a thing, or Anna agreeing to take better care of herself XD 73. Who brings home an illegal pet? In literally every AU possible I like to think that Hiccup brings home some variation of illegal pet XD I mean, it’s probably just a dragon (”just a dragon” is never a string of words I imagined myself using in that order like what do you mean JUST a dragon lmao) in a standard crossover timeline, which he basically does in canon, but I do love the idea of a modern AU Hiccup showing up to their apartment with some kind of weird exotic monitor lizard from Bali and being like “I found him in an alley, he’s gonna live with us now” and Anna is like “D: Is someone gonna arrest you???” And Hiccup is like “Nah, no cops followed me home” and Anna’s like “Okay!!! :D” and then goes to PetSmart to buy a big fluffy bed for her new scaled friend XD 74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? I honestly don’t think either would care much, and they usually sleep in a tangled-up mess anyways so by morning you can’t really tell who started on which side XD 75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? One from before they got together: I’m just imagining a big group photo with the Entire Squad (Rapunzel, Jack, Merida, Moana, etc.), and Anna has her arms laced around Hiccup’s neck and her chin on his shoulder and a GIANT smirk on her face. Meanwhile Hiccup is laughing and trying to push her off, but his cheeks are BRIGHT fucking red and he’s trying really unsuccessfully to hide it because he’s a pale boi. Anna loves it because you can so CLEARLY see Hiccup’s blush, and she loves to tease him about how flustered he got around her. Hiccup loves it because it reminds him of what was probably the first time Anna was THAT openly cuddly with him, and how exhilarated and giddy he felt the first time he had her that close to him. 76. Who takes longer in the bathroom? Probably Hiccup, if only because I HC him as a bit of a germophobe who is a tiny bit obsessive about washing his hands sufficiently. 77. Who has more songs on their ipod? Anna, mainly because literally every time she hears a song she likes she’s like “!!!!! Gotta download it!!!!” LITERALLY EVERY TIME. And she wonders why her ipod is always running out of space XD 78. What movie did they first see together? As of the Modern AU Hiccanna one-shot I wrote ages ago, Revenge of the Ancient Dragon Masters! XD If we’re talking movies that actually exist, I imagine it would be a Marvel movie, a Star Wars movie, or some super-fancy-CGI high fantasy epic. 79. What do they like to see each other in? You mean like...which of the other’s outfits would they find the sexiest??? Aight, I’ll take a stab at this. Anna gets literally SO fuckin thirsty every time Hiccup wears his dragon rider outfit (the one from HTTYD 2), like it shows off his cute skinny body in the most perfect possible way whilst making him look like a badass and oh how Anna DREAMS of feeling him up in that! (One day, she finally gets to! XD) She’s also very into the scale armor from HTTYD 3 when she’s in...a very different kind of mood XD As for Hiccup, his favorite outfits of Anna’s are probably her coronation dress and her queen dress, mainly because he loves how she looks in green. He also really likes her travel outfit from Frozen 2, mainly because it’s sexy AND practical and damn, he’s gotta admit, that’s a nice shade of purple and she absolutely SLAYS in it XD 80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times? Honestly both of them??? Like neither are great at picking up social cues, and Anna canonically DOES do this in Frozen! (Remember her comment about ice-selling being “a rough business to be in right now”???) I can see both of them attempting to lighten a tense mood by making an ill-timed joke, hoping to make things less uncomfortable, and they end up making everything MORE uncomfortable XD Honestly sue me, I love the idea of these two idiots bonding over how terrible they are with social cues in general 81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children? I imagine not til like...their early 30s, if ever. Like I mentioned in the first part of the questionaire, I actually am not sure if they would even want to have kids at all, but if they DID decide to, it definitely wouldn’t be until they’re older and have settled down a bit, and have (somewhat) gotten both of their lives together. 82. What do they love about each other the most? Hiccup loves Anna’s energy and optimism, and how she’ll basically cheer him on and believe in him with all her being no matter how high the odds are stacked against him. And oh boy does he LOVE how hard she can kick ass when push comes to shove, and how goddamn overprotective she is of him. The sword skills and the general willingness to punch problematic people in the face are definitely up there as well. She’s like the perfect blend of fun and badass, and there’s never a dull moment with her for him. Anna adores Hiccup’s connection with animals and general animal skills, especially with the more less-loved and “scary” of the world’s creatures (i.e. dragons lol). She also loves and admires the shit out of his intelligence and inventiveness, and wishes she could make contraptions half as cool as what he turns out. And, of course, she loves that he’s a pretty humble dude who's actually pretty insecure about his accomplishments, and isn’t some cocky guy wanting to shove them in everyone’s face. And, of course, she loves his sarcasm and his dry sense of humor, and few people can make her laugh as hard as Hiccup can. Before she met him, she had no idea pessimism could be this entertaining XD 83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details? Hiccup is very detail-oriented--he has to be, in order to make any of his contraptions work! Anna is very much focused on the big picture and gets stressed and exasperated trying to keep track of details--she figures she’ll either sort through the details as she goes, or Hiccup will help do it for her XD 84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary? One of my IRL friends wrote “Happy anniversary bro, you’re pretty great” on his girlfriend’s instagram for their anniversary, and she wrote back “Happy anniversary, you’re a good buddy, I love you” and I just XD That’s the EXACT kind of weird dorky nonsense I can see Hiccup and Anna doing for their anniversary tbh 85. Who is bad at math? Anna, bless her soul, needs a calculator for literally EVERYTHING. Hiccup kinda trained himself to be decent at doing math in his head, since he often has to calculate measurements for his inventions and whatnot, but Anna is absolutely atrocious at it and generally would like overly-complicated numbers to not be anywhere near her. 86. Who googles everything? Probably Anna, mainly because she’s pretty forgetful and doesn’t trust her own memory half the time so she feels the need to verify everything on the internet XD 87. Who does stuff on impulse? Anna 100% canonically does, although Hiccup has some shades of this too more than he would ever admit, in fact, for someone claiming to be the Voice of Reason 88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation? Hiccup’s approach is probably just to try and distract Anna and take her mind off of it, which he’ll do by either trying to make her laugh, telling her a story, or explaining one of his inventions to her (which she never gets bored with btw, because everything that boy gushes about is fascinating to her <3). Basically he figures if he entertains her enough, it’ll take her mind off of whatever is freaking her out and she won’t fixate on it as much. Anna’s approach is more to accentuate the positives in a bad situation (although like I mentioned in Part 1, not really in a condescending “count your blessings, it could be worse!” kind of way, but more in a “I hope he’ll feel better if he focuses on happy things” kind of way, if that makes any sense?) and also focus on when Hiccup DID do great and utterly kick ass and tell him he’s always better than he thinks he is. 89. What is an inside joke they have? If anything, him calling her “Tiger” as a pet name (which I think I mentioned briefly in Part 1??? Can’t remember) is this, because in my mind it developed because whenever Anna is about to do some Dumb Shit, or punch someone she really shouldn’t in the face, Hiccup has to physically hold her back like “Whoa, slow down there, Tiger!” This happens so frequently that eventually it just gets shortened to him nicknaming her “Tiger” and all their friends are kind of baffled as to why XD 90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Hiccup barely even needs to start talking in funny accents or imitating his dad before Anna is just DYING laughing. She thinks he’s the funniest damn person on earth. He honestly gets a kick out of her impressions too--she can do some pretty amusing ones, if that deleted coronation dress-up scene from Frozen 1 is anything to go by. So the feeling is mutual!!! They’re super good at making each other smile and laugh with little to no effort!!! 91. What is their favourite holiday? I feel like Anna especially would get REALLY into Christmas/Yule, mainly because of how much Elsa can spice it up with her powers. And judging by the OFA short, Arendelle gets very hyped for the holidays in general, so it’s probably hard NOT to have a good time. Anna probably also like Mayday a lot because the dancing, the spring cheeriness, and the flower-related festivities are definitely to her taste. Hiccup just likes the energy and general vibes, and would rather sit back and relax and watch Anna dance around and have fun XD Also dun best believe they BOTH get hella into Halloween, because they’re dramatic motherfuckers who loves to dress up, and it gives Anna an excuse to buy a shitton of chocolate and eat all the leftovers XD 92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive? Lmao Anna is definitely the “berserker” of the two of them. She DOES tend to get destructive when she’s angry, if being ready to fight a giant-ass snowman and smacking a wolf in the face with a lute is anything to go by. Hiccup is definitely the calm and collected one, and very rarely gets genuinely angry. 93. What is their favourite board game to play? Does Dungeons and Dragons count??? I can totally imagine Hiccup being hyped up over that or some other super nerdy RPG game and being so enthused to show it to Anna, who just falls even more in love with him after seeing how EXCITED he gets about it. Of course he’s super eager to teach her, and TBH Anna has a really hard time getting it at first because DAMN these rules are COMPLICATED, but after she finally gets the hang of it, she realizes she absolutely LOVES DnD and RPG games in general (I mean...have you SEEN OFA??? Girl gets just a little TOO into reminiscing about her old play-pretend toys XD) and she and Hiccup constantly geek out about it together. 94. Who accidental sets something on fire? Anna, 100% also this is an ever funnier question if applied to Hiccanna in my Fire!Anna AU 95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store? Anna is waiting while Hiccup robs the store, if for no other reason than that Hiccup is much better at Stealth Mode than Anna is XD Anna’s uncoordinated ass would probably knock over like 5 shelves’ worth of merchandise before reaching what they were actually trying to rob XD 96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert? I M A G I N E D R A G O N S lmao Look what can I say Anna likes the Imagine and Hiccup likes the Dragons 97. Who sleep talks? Hiccup. He mumbles about dragons a lot. Sometimes he jolts awake randomly and just yells out “THE DRAGONS ARE IN TROUBLE!” and Anna has to calm him down after she dutifully manages to not burst into laughter at this. Doubly funny if this takes place in a Modern AU. 98. Who is the more social one? Anna! Hiccup generally prefers to either keep to himself or hang out with animals. 99. What are their karaoke songs? For some reason I feel like anything by P!nk??? Idk why, but I can see them like rocking out and singing along to p!nk songs together and getting really into it. Also basically anything by The Killers and, at Anna’s request, The Chainsmokers (Hiccup thinks this is very basic music indeed but goes along with it for her sake XD). AND “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons. And they sing it LOUD. 100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh? Highkey both of them??? I kinda feel like Hiccup moreso though, if his little comedy routine imitating his dad in HTTYD2 is anything to go off of. He definitely wouldn’t be averse to making an idiot of himself to amuse Anna, especially since she’s so damn cute when she laughs. Anna, for her part, loves returning the favor, and is all about trying to do all sorts of Goofy Antics to amuse her boyfriend. And she’s overdramatic af, so she gets WAY too into it XD

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #otp questions #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #rotbtd #rotbtfd #httyd #frozen #crossover #hiccup haddock #princess anna #queen anna

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astralsweetness · 5 years ago

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Sooooo I heard from some little birdies that you went to your first svt concert in Dallas, and was just wondering if you could give us a little rundown of how it (your first concert!) went and any thoughts or things that you noticed?

Yes I did! I was extremely nervous beforehand (my best friend was coming, and he isn’t into KPop, so I was worried he wouldn’t enjoy it) but I really had no reason to be! My 60+ father also came and got to cheer on Woozi, so he was pretty happy too haha

I’ll put my thoughts and what happened under the cut, just in case people don’t wanna see it on their dash lol

Okay! So, I actually got SUPER “sick” after the concert so the rest of the night was not fun, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. My mind is sort of all over the place so this may not be in order lol

Hoshi tried to teach us the chant that I’m sure he teaches every crowd, and told us that it’s easy and we couldn’t mess it up (he underestimated our potential of being stupid lol). He told us to go “jjak jjak, ode to you” with some hand motions and we all deadass just repeated “jjak jjak” instead of actually clapping. It started a running joke and for a while (and during the encore) they would end all of their sentences with “jjak jjak” to mock us lol

It was Seungkwan’s birthday, so we all got to sing happy birthday to him! I felt sort of bad that we didn’t sing it in Korean, esp when he said it was his first birthday away from Korea, but he seemed happy ☺️

Speaking of feeling bad, they did a little segment where we all had to continue the lyrics they gave us, and Woozi sang his solo song Simple and not enough of us knew the lines after the chorus 😔😔 I’m sorry Woozi!! (We made it up to him by chanting his name which he didn’t want lol and by cheering him on during his ending ment for long enough that he just had to wait it out)

On that note, I’m sorry, Josh, that we couldn’t all continue the lyrics for Rocket when all you gave us was “ooOOH”

Seokmin was fucking radiant, as always, being able to see him in person for the first time it was really fucking clear what a nice guy he was, he genuinely just wanted everyone to enjoy themselves. (He made a comment about how we all reacted well to whatever he did, and when we ofc screamed at that his smile was blinding, it was beautiful)

Ngl, Wonwoo did not come to fuck around. Boy dropped low (physically AND vocally) more times than I could count and I for the first time ever was in dangerous territory lol he tried to bias wreck me hard

Never fucking ending encore, continuously replaying the last moments of Aju Nice just so Seungkwan could be forced to dance more since it was his birthday lol - if he looks sweaty in the pics uploaded afterwards, that’s why, he alone did like, six encores

Jeonghan was super subdued though - idk if that’s how he really is (since I’ve never seen him in person before this) but he continuously faded into the background and during any of his talking bits he seemed a bit out of sorts, so I hope he’s okay and didn’t force himself!

Joshua fucking snatched my best friend - all my friend is talking about now is Josh, and honestly, fucking same. He wore a dusky rose colored tux coat and tie with a sort of pastel blue shirt and honestly I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, he’s fucking 😍

Big shoutout to the gag trio for persisting with English even after they messed up and/or got tongue-tied (which they did a few times). It was really sweet and appreciated. Specifically to Hoshi, who would not fucking REST until we were having a good time, bless that boy he works so damn hard. Also hearteu to Minghao for not knowing the lyrics for another person’s verse in the encore and just giving us the most adorable “uhh..” into the mic we’ve ever heard

Bit of a weird thing regarding Dino’s ending ment - the translator said that he said “I feel like you all only gave 50% out of 100%” but then he followed that up with “you all were perfect” in English, so idk man lol (I’ll be honest, I wasn’t listening to his Korean closely enough to know, too many things were happening lol)

I only recorded a few things (and while I wish I recorded more, I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed the concert as much if I had, so kudos to those who do fancams omg) but my favorite was the group singing Smile Flower/Laughter, and both Josh and Vernon delivering a very sweet message to us before we sang it back to them, so I’m glad that I recorded that out of everything else Woozi was listening SO INTENTLY that the feeling of judgement he was projecting was impossible miss.. I just dunno if we satisfied him or not lmao

Ik they won’t actually remember this concert as much as they claimed, but it was really sweet how they focused so much on the “making good memories” aspect of it 💕

Seungcheol, you were missed! I’m not sure anyone was cheered for louder than you, so please take it easy and be resting well! We all love you and want the best for you 💝

Bless Woozi for doing most of his ending ment in English - I know it’s got to be nerve-wracking and just uncomfortable in general to do it in a language you aren’t fluent in, but it was much appreciated by everyone!

The general consensus by them was that we were super “energetic” and “crazy”, which is prob bc despite doing the fanchants (my section, at least) everyone screamed along with the lyrics too lmao. Pretty sure that’s what most of their concerts in the states are like, but it’s nice of them to say things like that regardless

I don’t regret spending the money to go at all - I was dubious that it would affect me a lot since my depression has gotten a lot worse, but I felt genuinely calm and happy during it. I also stood the whole time anyway, so next time I’ll just buy the tickets for near the stage 😂 It’s strange, seeing them in person - you just get this weird sense of what good people they are, how they really love what they do and want to spread happiness through it. Lmao my friend afterwards asked me “...you ever think about how we were that close to them but we will never ever actually get to know them as real people?” and yes, I fucking do, and it’s an uncomfortable feeling, but all I can really do is wish and hope that they have happy lives 😔☺

If anyone else went and wants to scream at me about the boys, please feel free to!! It was an amazing night and I am genuinely glad I forced myself out of my comfort zone to go

#ode to you in dallas #ode to you dallas #odetoyoudallas #odetoyou #oty:dallas #i actually have the full smile laughter vid uploaded and privated on youtube lol

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journarl-s · 5 years ago

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TVXQ Concert Circle - #with In Jakarta

“Definitely an unforgettable concert experience. The dazzling stage is just too much, the concert literally climb up into THE BEST concert i have ever been to. Everyone alive should at least attend one of their concert, and you’ll have no regrets left.” - me

“The energy, the performances, the stage, the visual, the lightnings, are just beyond words. Despite the small venue, TVXQ brings out their very best act like it was in stadium/dome. Their professionalism is what everyone should look up to.” - me

Some quoted words above are me acting out as critics but,

HOLY SHIT AFTER SO MANY YEARS THEY FINALLY CAME AND HELL YEAH THEY CLIMBED UP INTO THE BEST CONCERT I'VE EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE.

THE STAGE, THE ENERGY, THE PERFORMANCE, THE SOUND, THE LIGHTNINGS, THE VISUAL, HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE VERY BEST.

They are all very true. Sounds a little bit exaggerating, but THAT IS THE TEA yeorobeun. ok sorry, pardon me.

So am gonna tell you guys about this amazing experience. i can actually say that my literacy is not that good especially in english but since i want to improve my english skill, here i am trying. So....

At first i kinda worried if TVXQ gonna cancelled the concert again like in the Philippine because the venue was small and only 1 section was sold out but the day is finally came!!!! ALHAMDULILLAH.

When i entered the venue, i was kinda sad because there were section that was not packed enough and had some space but what's on my mind that day was "i'm going to have fun, i'm going to see them in real life, i'm going to sing my heart out!" and turned out all the crowd think the same as mine? lmao because the energy we poured during every song was so loud maybe because there's a lot of people who has been waiting for 16 years also!! If i compared it to my Eyes On You experience, it's like, when i'm doing fanchant because of the sound and my own voice, i can't hear clearly if the fanchant was loud or not but in this concert, holy shit, i heard the fanchant so loudly!!!!!

I'm glad that everyone who attended the concert have memorable experience to bring back home and as encouragement to face the real life that's gonna happen in the next day (lmao it's for me).

As for the concert, i never expect that the setlist has that flow so the songs feel connected to each other somehow. It was also thanks to the VCR that contained of hotness, handsomeness, and funny videos.

Bounce, Something, and Top of The World became the opening act and seems like to hold a magician concept! And it was so much fun lmao i can honestly say that i don't really like Bounce before but when it was sung at the concert heeeeeeol it's so good!!

After that, Yunho and Changmin introduced themselves and i love the way they speak Bahasa lmao. Yunho was like "Sudah lama tidak bertemu. Apa kabar semuanya!!!" and Changmin was like "Saya kangen kalian semua" and did a yes pose (lmao he is so cute) as we answered yes though it's not a question, it's a statement lol.

After that was Truth and then Love Line, my favorites of their own separate albums ❤ and then Tonight. In my honest opinion, Tonight is a hard song to sing because it is full of high notes and truthfully the 5 were singing it with so much effort and then now it's only 2 who is singing it, my heart is weeping. I really appreciate the hard work that Yunho and Changmin put on singing this song, and it was not disappointing at all, it was beautiful. VERY BEAUTIFUL. I CAN'T. I love you guys, truly. Thank you for singing this song.

Now was the time for Yunho solo. He sang his newest single Follow, although i prefer City Lights he he The Chance of Love came after, holy shit, it was the remix version that they sing in MBC Gayo. Changmin's high note in "i will take you higher~~ i will take you HIGHEEEEEEER" is just too good, i am in awe. Sooner than Later came next. It was not expected that Sooner than Later would also became a performance full of hotness, though still can't beat Before U Go which was came after, but still.

AND THEN THE PEAK OF HOTNESS CAME (yes, it’s Before U Go!). MY HEART. OK THIS IS MADNESS MY HEART WAS LIKE "OMG OMG OMG ALLAHU AKBAR" because it was that deadly ass performance. You know what i mean if you know what kind of performance Before U Go is. Thank you again Yunho and Changmin that was brilliant. My life is now complete.

So, here am gonna spill my Before U Go fancam that was intended to be my private belongings but, if i don’t do this you guys will not get what i mean TT

The next was the ballad stage, TVXQ sang Lazybones and Mideoyo. When they started singing Lazybones, all the white lights turned on them and at that exact moment, me and everyone around me be like "MALAIKAT" which means "ANGEL" HAHAHA.

And finally, Changmin's solo Beautiful Stranger. Have been waiting for this because the song is just beautiful itself. My most favorite of Changmin's solo and the 2nd is In a Different Life. Changmin's kind of solo is really put me to lay back for awhile.

After that is Vertigo and Mirotic. MIROTIC IS THAT PERFORMANCE WHEN I LITERALLY PUT MY LUNGS OUT TO DO THE FANCHANT. IT WAS CRAZY. MIROTIC WAS CRAZY.

Hug and Balloons came next! Hug was kinda beat up not like the original one. Looking at Changmin and Yunho singing this song really reminisce the old one and they both look very different (lmao ofcourse!). Balloons was so fun!! We jumped a lot and literally shout so loudly "JIIINAGABORIIII" lol anyway they showed up with a boyfriend look and huhu they're so handsome TT after that is Dream, still with the boyfriend look.

In the bridge of Balloons, Changmin was like pointed to our side and Yunho was like saying something in korean and told us to sing "La~ La La La La~" and then after our turn, Changmin was like "Kiri~" means it's the left side turn to sing and then he said "Semuaa" which means "All" and then Yunho followed along saying "Semua semua semua!!" And then he said "Sekali lagi!! (Once more!)" Lol why are they so cute 😭

After the kind of cute, fun and lay back jumping stage, it’s suddenly turned into MAXIMUM-KYHD-RISING SUN stage. IF MIROTIC WAS CRAZY THAN THIS PART OF THE CONCERT WAS CRAZIER!!!! IT IS THAT CLIMAX HOLY SHITTTT and what made me upset was, in the middle of Keep Your Head Down, my phone's storage was suddenly full FAAAAAAAAAKKKKK fortunately my external storage was still empty, thankfully i have still got the full footage of Maximum and Rising Sun and half of footage of Keep Your Head Down. Thank God! but still TT

After that was Morning Sun, Yunho and Changmin threw balls to the audience. And waw Changmin's throw was really far i'm impressed.

The last but not least, Circle. The song that really fits for an ending of a concert when i first listened to it. The melody, the rhythm, the tunes, all of them, i love it. HUHU and finally i can hear it live TT

At the ending ment, it felt sentimental as in Yunho and Changmin actually keep repeating the “16 years” and keep saying thank you as if they were kind of regret to hold their first concert here just now, while they should’ve hold concert here sooner, like YES YOU SHOULD HAVE COME SOONER! nonetheless, the important thing is they held their solo concert here finally, it’s always better to be late than never. So, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for including Indonesia in your tour!!!! and i won’t forget your promise to come back here again and will definitely come to watch you guys again!

I felt very satisfied after the concert, despite the waiting-outside-the-venue thing that got your ass burned and skin got tanned (lol), the concert was that magical i came home weeping lol. I know that TVXQ consists of main vocal of their separate trainee groups but i really think that the recording tape of CD or DVD did them injustice! Their vocals are SO much better than the CD! While other groups sound the same as the CD, TVXQ are much greater. I think the CDs can't contain the greatness of TVXQ's voices.

It's been more than a month and i still can't get over the concert, instead, i love them more than ever! To think that i'd jump to this blackhole again lol....

#tvxq #dbsk #tohoshinki #yunho #jung yunho #uknow yunho #changmin #shim changmin #choikang changmin #uknow #max #concert #kpop #experience #daebak

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raiswriting · 5 years ago

Text

dancing with your ghost

inspired by this song

warnings: symptoms that are similar to mental health issues like depression but never explicitly stated

genre: pure angst sorry

pairing: lucas/yukhei wong x reader

summary: ummm heartache???? basically the aftermath of a ‘hey let’s pretend to be dating bc i need someone to take to this wedding and you need someone to scare off your ex’ type of story

word count: 1582

a/n: lmao i am reposting this because it absolutely flopped the first time hehehe ALSO i made a playlist to go with this story. the first half or so is the same playlist that is mentioned in the story then the second half is more about the theme of it. i put way too much effort into it but i hope you enjoy it!!

there was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled

an ache that couldn’t be soothed

a feeling of nostalgia for what never was

honestly you couldn’t be sure if this hole in your chest was a bad thing anymore. you’d grown so used to it that the thought of one day living with out it seemed so fantastical and out of reach. you found a sort of morbid comfort in the sorrow

time has slipped away as routine comfortably took its place. mondays became indistinguishable from wednesday or friday. the only thing separating saturday and sunday from the rest was the lack of work.

your thoughts drifted from the idea of getting up and taking a shower or even just washing your face to the cup of tea that’s been sitting on the coffee table and once more to your phone lying next to it. it lit up with yet another text message to which you would send yet another half-assed response of ‘id love to get together but work has been super busy lately and i need a me weekend.’ you wonder how many more ‘me weekends’ you’d be able to have before someone saw through it.

you just couldn’t have that face to face conversation with any of them. how do you explain that none of it was serious. or that all he needed was someone to take to family get-togethers for when his uncles would ask about his love life. or that you had grown so used to his hand in yours that the emptiness you felt when he wasn’t there scared you. or that you missed him. how could you look someone in the eyes and say that you had not only lost a love but also a best friend. how do you describe that hurt. how do you say that you feel unlovable. how.

you couldn’t say those thoughts aloud because as soon as you did they’d become real. he would really be gone. and happy. and in love. and you would have to admit that you were hurting. you’d have to admit that it was really over.

so instead you lay here on the sofa. and keep it all in. sometimes you can’t help but remember him. and how happy he’d been.

the knock on your door drew your attention from the sheet of cookies ready to go into the oven.

there he stood in the doorway with a smile so bright that it put the stars on the clearest of nights to shame.

‘hey y/n’ he pulled you into a warm embrace. the scent of his cologne was intoxicating. strong and inviting, the prefect reflection of his personality.

‘hey lucas. i wasn’t expecting to stop by today.’

‘yeah i just wanted to share some good news with you. like really good news. like i came here as fast as I could kind of news.’ he spoke so excitedly as he followed you back into the kitchen.

‘well spit it out,’ you reply while placing the sheet of cookies in the oven.

‘i found someone,’ his smile wider than ever.

you almost dropped the sheet of cookies as you took in what he said. you knew this day would come. the day he would find someone to actually love and care for. the day he no longer needed you. but still you hoped and prayed that maybe there was something there. maybe the secret touches shared between just the two of you actually meant something. that maybe he’d choose you.

he didn’t.

‘so get this. i was walking into the coffee shop on seventh street that me and you usually go to. and i bumped into this gorgeous girl and spilled her whole coffee so i offered to buy her a new one.’ he rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the floor. ‘so cheesy and cliché i know. but y/n this girl. we talked and talked and she made everything seem to….right. when I looked into her eyes i just felt…’ he sighed and leaned against the counter.

‘…like everything just seemed to make sense for once.’ you finished the sentence for him as you checked on the cookies.

‘yeah exactly’ he didn’t even try the hide his love struck expression. it was clear as day that he was really falling. ‘when i talked to her it was so easy. almost as if we knew each other for years.’

we did.

you looked him in the eyes for the first time since he broke the news and forced a smile to your face. you couldn’t even fathom the idea of ruining this for him.

‘lucas im ecstatic for you.’

‘really?’

‘of course. if there’s anyone who deserves true love and happiness in life, it’s you.’ and you meant that. it just hurts that he found it in someone else.

‘and hey. at least now you actually have someone to take to all your family functions.’

he chuckled lightly, ‘yeah you’re right. i don’t know if your cheeks could handle another one if aunt maya’s pinches.’

‘the pinches i could handle,’ you say as you forced a laugh out, ‘but I’d have to buy a gym membership if i had another dinner at your parents house.’

‘it’s not my fault mom loves insisting on third helpings’ this time he let out a full real laugh, remembering all the shared glances between the two of you at a dinner table. wondering how you could possibly eat another slice of meatloaf.

‘we can celebrate your new found love with some cookies, if you’d like. they should be done in a minute or two.’

the smile dropped slightly from his face. ‘oh y/n. i’d love to really but i promised angelina that i’d meet her again for coffee. i just stopped by the tell you the good news.’

‘of course, of course. you should get going then. a love like this comes around once in a life time.’ and who am i to stand in the way of someone living their lifetime.

lucas cast a sympathetic look before pushing himself off of the counter and embracing you once more.

‘thank you for everything y/n. seriously. you’ve helped me out so much. if you need anything let me know.’ his cologne was still so strong. and it hurt to know that someone else was going to experience it like this.

‘that’s what best friends are for lucas. you’ll be the first person i call when im sick and throwing up everywhere.’

you could feel him chuckle lightly before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

‘you got it y/n.’

the door shut, leaving you alone.

your hands shook as you took the cookies out of the oven and set the tray in the stove top. they shook as you turned it off. they shook as you took off the oven mits. they shook as you ran them down your face only to find them wet with tears. and they shook as you lowered yourself to the kitchen floor.

your hands were steady now and found their way to that playlist like muscle memory. you had long since deleted all the photos of you and him. but you just couldn’t find the strength to delete this. he had made it for you before the whole fiasco of pretending to be together had ever crossed either of your minds. he said that ‘these song remind me of us.’ and maybe you had gotten your own hopes up. maybe you had searched too deeply between the lines of lyrics. maybe you looked so hard that you had only found what you wanted to. because they were just songs. songs of bad timing and unrequited love. but at the end of the day still. just. songs.

as they played throughout the room. filling the stale silence as your body began to move, lifting you from the couch. your gaze landing on the sweater which rested on the arm of a chair. it was his. he had left it accidentally when spending the night here one time. you had meant to give it back for some time now but haven’t been able to. everytime you had gained the courage to call him and ask him over, he was busy. eventually you stopped calling. and he stopped texting. stopped checking in. so there the sweater sits. still smelling of him.

your body began to move once more reaching out for it and pulling it close to you. maybe if you breathed in enough of his scent, it’d feel like he was here with you again. of course it didn’t but it was as close you could get.

your hips swayed to the rhythm. as your feet worked their way around the living room. stepping over pillows and discarded take out. you danced for the first time in what felt like years. you felt the tears fall but paid them no mind. still clutching the article of clothing impossibly close to you, you sang along with the lyrics.

Yelling at the sky

Screaming at the world

Baby, why’d you go away?

I’m still your girl

Holding on too tight

Head up in the clouds

Heaven only knows

Where you are now

I stay up all night

Tell myself I’m alright

Baby, you’re just harder to see than most

I put the record on

Wait ‘til I hear our song

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

a/n: there it is. i was listening to this song today and got super inspired and just had to write. there’s also a reference to a hobo johnson song if you can find it ;) thanks for reading. let me know if you’d like a prequel to this when reader and lucas were together. i hope you enjoyed and pls feel free to leave constructive criticism. thanks, rai :)

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botls · 5 years ago

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seeing hadestown 9/29/19 - part one

under the cut is my take on act one of hadestown after seeing it. i didnt really do a play by play of what’s happening in every scene so this is kind of assuming that you have some previous knowledge of the show and focuses on on the cast and the little things they were doing. part 2 here. meeting the cast. meeting tlt cast. if you have more questions or are curious about anything else PLEASE come and ask me in my inbox or messages i could talk about this show for the rest of my life

road to hell:

andre came out and it was AMAZING he held the last note of road to hell for what felt like eight years and it was incredible and for the entire time eurydice and orpheus were STARING at each other with the most perfect awestruck looks on their faces and it was such an incredible shot i was like 🤧 already

during the music part eurydice and the fates all mimicked drumming against the drum box thing at the same time it was Cute

any way the wind blows:

when eurydice lit her candle and the third fate blew it out she whipped her head around to look at the fate who just kind of shook her head innocently like “it wasn’t me” and when eurydice turned back around to light it again she just smiled and shook her head at the crowd like “don’t blame me”

this happens a few times but for the first time at the beginning of this song the fates walk towards orpheus aggressively and he gets so scared and runs back and ouch the metaphor for him being afraid of his fate......no thank you

come home with me:

come home with me was so fucking cute reeve was ADORABLE

this entire song was Fantastic for like half of it orpheus and eurydice are sitting together on the table and orpheus’ little paper flower is so genuinely awful it’s kind of sad ajhsgsvska but it was cute they showed him working very hard on it over on the side of the stage

when eurydice says “oooh he’s crazy” it leaned MUCH more heavily on the side of “i get it now this man is legally insane why are we letting him walk around amongst us” with a much longer pause that included an intense stare between eurydice and hermes that made it even funnier than the obcr

the oh a liar and a player too line genuinely caused me to ascend its better in person than you could ever imagine genuinely out of this world and orpheus sounded SO nervous when he rushed out “ohnoimnotlikethat”

wedding song:

every time reeve or eva sang the word “trees” they like thrusted their hands up violently and so did the ensemble and it was so cute and funny and the part where the table comes up behind eva was so funny and different from london it was just kind of pushed up behind her and it seemed to startle eurydice and as she leaned back she just kind of had this “whatever i’ll go with it” face on but she was Alarmed lmao

eurydice was pushed by so many tables in this song omfg

i wanted to voice record it so bad but i kept forgetting bc i didn’t want to miss A Single Thing but this was the first song where i was really really like “i wish i had recorded this” eva’s voice was chefs kiss mwah and at one part where she sang table her voice was like. palpable and she was like rubbing her hands all over a table it was heavenly

after orpheus gives her the flower in this song she legitimately doesn’t let go of it for almost the entire first act like id always assumed that she put it in her hair or her pocket but she seriously clutches it like a lifeline for a significant part of the first act it was 🥺

epic 1:

it was so stunning nobody ever warned me that wedding song ended with orpheus on his knees and hermes was like interrogating orpheus about his song while orpheus was like holding on to eurydice to not fall bc he was awkwardly balanced and i honestly think that was just reeve and eva being reeve and eva and not being orphydice and it was so cute

the whole company follows orpheus with this song like wherever he walks or turns the whole company is turned towards him paying Attention

livin it up on top:

when persephone comes down with her bouquet of flowers she tosses them over her shoulder and timothy caught them and he looked so happy he spun around in one foot and smiled so wide at the audience before setting them down on the side it was precious

at the beginning of livin it up on top persephone gives eurydice her flask and eurydice smiles really wide and nods at persephone but when persephone turns around she just looks stressed like “wtf should i do with this now”

eurydice gets up and goes right to the side of persephone while persephone is singing and she looks like she’s waiting for something and you kind of assume that it’s to give back persephone’s flask but when persephone finally turns to her at the end of the verse eurydice rushes forward with the biggest smile and presents persephone with orpheus’ flower and persephone smiles so wide and takes it from her and puts it in her hair and it’s the first time eurydice doesn’t have the flower in her hand since she first got it and it’s such a tender and precious moment

right after putting the flower in her hair persephone put her arm around eurydice and when persephone said “some may say the weather ain’t the way it used to be” she turned to face eurydice and gave her a Pointed Look and eurydice literally turned to the audience and made this 😬 exact face i was peeing

when persephone was leaving the balcony she hugged hades from behind and kissed him on his cheek and then as she was leaving he sort of lifted his hand in a mini wave and she gave him the MOST disgusted look ever and waved her hand in what i can only describe as a “fuck off and go to hell” gesture

during orpheus’ toast everyone is pretty much on the platform aside from eurydice who is right in the middle of the stage beaming at him

at one part timothy picks up eva and literally like. throws her i was like eva is flying high rn omfg he literally made it look like she weighed nothing she probably doesn’t but like.

i was wow she does this in real life at one part and i felt so blessed to witness it

all i’ve ever known:

during the intro they are staring at each other and persephone walks to each of them and puts a comforting hand on them like a mom it was Soft

the all i’ve ever known choreo was softer in person than you would ever imagine

the part where eurydice is leaning back and it looks like orpheus is holding her? that we’ve all been talking about lately? this part? they actually start on opposite sides of the stage and eurydice starts to do The Lean and orpheus halls ass and RUNS to catch her before she falls it’s so cute

the whole time for eurydice’s verse orpheus keeps trying to hold her but she keeps him at arms distance and steps back every time she says “alone” or “lonely” but when she moves into the “but now i wanna told you part” she holds him SO tight she was like first grabbing his nonexistent boobs so hard that he was backing up then his suspenders then clutching his arms and finally his hands

during eurydice’s parts the background stage lighting is a soft purpley/pink and for orpheus’ it’s a vibrant blue and then when they sing together it’s a beautiful mix of both

the just music choreo part was magical eva did the lift kick and it was majestic in person she is a Wonder

after when they’re laying down you see them holding hands and the way she sits up literally?? looks like they’re laying in bed having the conversation it’s ?? captivating strangely

after eurydice sits up orpheus comes up to hug her from behind and there is this lovely gif set from it and she holds him so tight and it really is one of the softest parts of the whole show my heart was beating triple speed because eurydice really seems on the verge of tears and orpheus just HOLDS her

way down hadestown:

they are The Most Couple couple ever first of all. after all i’ve ever known they make out for like eight years i was like????? reeva needs to calm down

persephone’s dance was just as amazing in person as you’d imagine

her dress is SO vibrant in person like. the coloring in this show is so fantastic with eurydice and hades wearing the same color and persephone standing out with her green and orpheus’ clothes are more white than the ensemble’s so it stands out wonderfully

eurydice and orpheus got interrupted while making out by being scared to death by persephone yelling at them about hadestown it was so funny

eurydice goes to dance on the platform and she tries to get orpheus to come with her but he’s reluctant so she just pats his stool instead so he sits and she dances in front of him/talks to him/touches his arms and hair it’s adorable

during the pregnant pause when orpheus did his little move in front of eurydice thing he LEPT like a gazelle and landed on one foot that made such a SOUND everyone laughed

orphydice are standing at the front at the end when everyone is saying “way doooooown” and eurydice is staring at hades and persephone descending and orpheus has his arms around her from behind and when he sees her staring he looks at the audience with a scared look on his face

a gathering storm:

when she says “did you hear me” it’s really upbeat but when she turns around and he’s already gone to work she says “orpheus...?” really sad and dejectedly

after she says “okay finish it” she climbs up to the platform and wraps her arm around him and fucking KISSES HIS SHOULDER before leaving stage i was ??🥺?!🤧?💗?!?!????🥺

epic 2:

it’s really cool - a good set up to chant with orpheus’ song finally coming together and the workers in the background really Make the scene

chant 1:

i was not ready for this

you think you understand how good the lighting in the show is but you don’t until you see chant live don’t even get me started

during hades/persephone’s opening part the entire back wall is a orange/yellow and then for orpheus’ next part they turn their backs to the audience and the back lights turn blue and for all eurydice’s parts they’re the purple/pick like from all i’ve ever known again

when eurydice asks “is it finished” her and hermes are walking behind orpheus in that order and then she turns around to ask “is he always like this” and hermes just lifts up his arms to gesture and nod towards orpheus who has already made his way back to his stool and is writing and then it’s eurydice’s verse and she disappears off to the side again after

when hermes says “orpheus? orpheus?” i had always imagined him trying to get orpheus’ attention but in actuality he’s trying to find him - for the first “orpheus?” he’s looking in the opposite direction off stage and then for the second one he’s looking up and then orpheus catches his eye and he turns to him and starts walking while shaking his head to say “poor boy working on a song” and it seems like he’s going to try and warn/help orpheus but then he seems to cave in after saying “look up” and he decides to just walk away like he’s giving up on stopping orpheus

which - if you go by the “hermes remembers the loop” theory can be read as he knows there isn’t any point to trying to stop him but he has to give it at least a shot

eurydice fights HARD for her bag and jacket it takes like three tries for the fates to take it out of her grip and it’s just as heartbreaking as you think to watch her fall i cried

for the rest of the song eurydice tries so hard to keep walking but she’s clearly freezing and keeps falling and she looks like she’s one of the workers at some parts

hey little songbird:

during this song eurydice is SO SAD the second that hades starts shitting on orpheus and saying he’s a penniless poet she turns to the audience with pouty lips and eyes and they don’t leave for the rest of the song it was Sad

for the beginning of the song she’s just more wary but curious but after that she genuinely just looks heartbroken it was soooooo heart wrenching

i think eva actually was crying too during this song and it was hard to tell at first but she was def crying by gone

at the beginning the three fates seem to be talking amongst themselves but at the first three isolated notes they turn to watch eurydice

when she says “weren’t we birds of a feather” she holds the flower out in front of her and looks at her really sadly

hades nods to the fates during “vipers and vultures” and at the piano group of three notes at the end in the higher key right after he says “they’ll pick you clean“ they smile and wave all innocently it’s so funny

when the chips are down:

the fates choreo was FANTASTICCC i cant even explain they were on fireeeee

when they’re trying to convince eurydice she has her hands squeezed against her ears and falls to the ground at one point

i forget exactly what song it was (i think this one but like i said it’s kind of unclear) but at one point eva dropped the flower and i have no clue if it was purposeful or accidental (i was leaning towards accidental) but she snatched it up so quick and gave a dirty look to the fates like warning them to stay away from it

when eurydice says “oh my aching heart” she looks forward at the audience but clutches the flower to her heart

gone i’m gone:

everyone jumped at the train whistles lmao they were LOUD tho

right after eurydice gives her tickets she puts her hands over her mouth like she can’t believe it and they stay there as she goes down

at this point i forget when exactly it happened but the flower had been out of her hair and she was back to holding it

when eurydice was disappearing after she left and the stage was dark hermes fucking picks up the candle he took from her in the beginnning and BLOWS IT OUT ????? FUCKING NOOO

wait for me:

the intro was sooooo sad the flower stood out so well against the ground

after hermes asks if orpheus has a ticket instead of sounding dejected like in the soundtrack orpheus sounds more affronted like “wha-no?!”

hermes picks up the flower and holds it over orpheus’ heart while he says “if you got the heart” and orpheus takes it and holds it for the rest of the time - mimicking eurydice clutching it for the entire beginning

i was seriously concerned about the lamps hitting his head. i don’t know how it doesn’t happen more often and honestly i totally understand that time it did bc i was like ??? how is he avoiding all these giant swinging lamps rn like he was ducking under them diving out of the way lmao well done reeve

during wait for me at one part the stage isn’t rotating so reeve is just running furiously in place and it’s so fucking funny like. he literally looks like a stressed cartoon character or something

the stage was splitting into three to represent his descent into hadestown during it and the fates were each on a part with their lanterns and looking around alarmed at each other like “wtf is happening. how is he doing this. mom come pick me up i’m scared”

why we build the wall:

even more powerful live. it was my favorite song for a long time and it didn’t disappoint

at the beginning when hades and persephone enter the stage from opposite sides persephone is walking a lot faster like “let’s get this over with” vibes and hades is walking more slow and purposefully

eurydice doesn’t join in until the very end when she turns to the front and puts her hand up like everyone else and sings the last line of the song

hermes and persephone look like they would rather be doing anything else in the world than singing this song rip

when eurydice is about to go up to sign the papers she makes eye contact with persephone who gives her a Look and eurydice just slightly raises her arms in like a “calm down” gesture lmao it was kind of funny but then persephone sadly turns away and shakes her head so it got real sad real quick

during intermission i was the very last row of the orchestra so there was a lot of commotion behind me and i heard someone ask “where’s the women’s room” and a random guy points to the line and says “follow the road to hell” i was cackling

#the time i saw hadestown #hadestown #fav #did i just fav my own post yes bc IANGSHSVSKA ITS SO GOOD OKAY #mine

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cowboylikedean · 5 years ago

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FIRST THOUGHTS

Okay everyone welcome to my Lover first thoughts!!!

Overall: I love this album. It isn’t what I expected at first, I was expecting something stripped an acoustic but it is what I hoped for. If I wasn’t going to have stripped and acoustic, I wanted something Bubblegum in the modern way Carly Rae Jepsen is and guess what? I got an album that sounds like my FAVORITE parts of EMOTION from nearly top to bottom. This album is a lot so it’s gonna take a while fo me to digest, but I adore it. It’s already up there with Speak Now, Red, and reputation in my top tier.

Below is my track by track

I Forgot That You Existed: I’ve seen people skip over this one but honestly? I needed it. I don’t know who she’s talking about, she lost a lot of friends summer 2016. But I am singing about that jackass who up and left my life and took me for several hundred dollars and then laughed as his asshole boyfriend posted a long ass blog post lying about me, misgendering me for sport, and making fun of me all while laughing about how he’s “not nice” (and being proud of that) when even HIS FOLLOWERS called him out for being cruel. I had that moment where I forgot that he existed and it was so freeing. This is gonna be one of my most listened to.

Cruel Summer: This song. Holy wow. Like talk about bridge city I guess lmao! Nah but it’s a vibe. and the chorus is so exciting and like I mentioned Carly Rae Jepsen and like THE CHORUS CAN’T YOU HEAR HER???? I love this theme all over this album about falling into a relationship with someone in the midst of something hard or pushing through something difficult with someone. Cruel Summer is the first instance of this in this album and I’m going to need more time with the lyrics… There’s little things that I’m gonna need more time with… But I adore this vibe where she’s like telling the other side of Getaway Car. In Getaway Car we learned that you can’t run away from your problems, it doesn’t end well. In Cruel Summer we find her release in doing so. We find how that release of running away was what she needed to find herself and stability again. We find that without her past, she could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.

Lover: Instant fave the second I heard it. Best love song she’s ever written and I 100% understand why she named the album Lover. This track is beautiful and the slower tempo doesn’t in any way detract from the sheer joy and excitement expressed in the song. It’s a public declaration of a private love in the most excited way and I get it. Also I did get some acoustic singer songwriter on this album!!

The Man: DID I HEAR TAYLOR SAY BITCH TWICE?!?!??!? also fuck she’s right. and I GUESSED HOW THE LYRICS WE HAD WOULD SOUND AND I WAS RIGHT i felt like a bomb when that happened. hahah tbh though, not my fave. Don’t get me wrong, far from the worst but just kind middle of the road to me. Also I think it’s the breakdown after the chorus that pushes it towards the middle to me. But again… Bridge city. The bridge is by far the best part of this song.

The Archer: I still think this is my favorite song on the album. It has already helped me so much and I think Taylor and I feel depression, anxiety, and other stuff very similarly. Basically everything she’s released about it has highly resonated with me. I have so much to say about this song and its impact on me but I don’t think if I said all of that it would be much relevant to this post. Basically, I never grew up it’s getting so old. This song helps me grow up.

I Think He Knows: This song is so fucking fun and cute I jive and the chorus again I feel the Carly Rae vibes… I also love “bless my soul” like that’s such a great lyric. This is another one I feel is middle of the road for this album though. Like as a pop song, it’s top rate. As this album, it’s middle of the road. I’m happy to hear the vocoder again though!

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: So I love this song. Everyone loves this song but I love this song both as its political commentary and just a commentary on depression in general. Like as a song about the specific depression and disappointment that struck us all after the 2016 election, it’s nearly flawless. As a song about disappointment and depression in general, it’s nearly flawless. I really love both readings but in the later, I really love the line “they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl” because in this reading, I like to see that about Taylor and how she is Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince. idk I think the fact that this song can work in both contexts’ and have completely separate meanings speaks to the strength of the songwriting. I’m so impressed. She hit it out of the park with this one.

Paper Rings: OKAY SECOND FAVORITE/TIED WITH FAVORITE HAPPY LOVE SONG WOW WOWOWOWOW The Last Kiss reference, the vibe that sounds like a teen movie when the kids break out and are running wild and free, idk why but I love “The moon is high just like your friends when we first met” it’s just so…. vivid. You cannot miss the feeling of freedom. This song is about finding freedom in love. Falling in love is the most exciting and free feeling in the world, whether that is romantic love or not and this song captures that feeling when you get to that ledge and you just….. slip. And the best part is it works for everything. Like idk I’ve always been able to take the feeling a song presents and take it out of its specific context and apply it to another instance of that feeling so I can easily take this song about the freely falling in love and look around and find hundreds of applications. Every time you love something or someone to the point where you don’t need anything else than what they give you to feel whole and complete, this song is there in the background reminding you that you do in fact like shiny things, but you don’t need them. Because this thing or person is all you need. LIKE STOP IT’S SO GOOD also 100% if she sang it with a country accent, it’d be a country hit. It sounds so much like Sam Hunt I cannot even, i have died.

Cornelia Street: The ROOFFKLJDSLKFJKSLDJFKLSDJLKFJLKSDF also like I am here for the storytelling songwriting so much. This is another one I need more time with but I think it’s already a classic. Again, it’s so nice to here something other than “I love you and everything is great” I mean it is like that but it’s the fear of being forced to say goodbye and how that would feel. It’s knowing you’ve gone all in and there’s no turning back. I see this song so beautiful contrasted with All Too Well. All Too Well focuses on a heartbreak that only time could help, but it seemed like time wouldn’t. It takes you through the beginning, middle, and end of that relationship and explains why it hurts so much. Cornelia Street takes us through this relationship, especially the beginning, and explains why this would be a heartbreak time couldn’t fix. It’s so vulnerable and honest in some really beautiful and profound ways.

Death by a Thousand Cuts: Okay so first of all, I would ADORE this song if that very low bass and synths weren’t there. I don’t know why they’re there but it muddles they for me and I can’t focus on anything because it’s like everything else is covered in a thick layer of mud trying to move around. Second I have no idea who or what this song was written about but it’s jarring to hear a breakup song on this album. I love asking the traffic lights if it will be okay and them saying “I don’t know.” Like that’s honestly incredible writing. We’ve all had those times when we’re hurting or scared and we’re in the car and we’re looking for a sign it will be okay but we have nothing. Also I need more time with the second verse. There’s so much there, I haven’t had time yet to process.

London Boy: “But God, I Love the English.” Yep you got a TYPE GIRL!! this song is so fun!! it’s so bragging… I love it! She’s just like “yeah I love a London Boy what OF IT BITCH” and it just feels like a mic drop like she’s like doing that move where you slam your hands at your crotch like a dick??? like idk it’s such a bde to me. Like she’s name dropping all these London things and bragging about how she’s English now because she’s got this guy and bragging about her type and her Anglophile fetish and idk it just feels like “you got something to SAY??!??!?!” I’ve heard that vibe is very London but idk because I do not have a london boy like she does.

Soon You’ll Get Better: Either Taylor played the album in the wrong order for these fans at the secret sessions or something because this 100% is that song she couldn’t listen to. I have heard it once and I am doubtful to listen to it again. I have listed to Ronan 3 times total. Soon You’ll Get Better is up there. I can’t. I’m so lucky my Dad is in remission and has been for 10 years… If his cancer came back, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s my biggest fear. And the Dixie Chicks sound beautiful on this track, so does the plucking country instrumentals. Gorgeous. I just… can’t. I admire Taylor and family for sharing this, but I can’t.

False God: I understand why this comes after Soon You’ll Get Better. She needs that thing to fall into, to give herself over into. The hard times my hurt and might be difficult, but they don’t end a relationship. Soon You’ll Get Better is a really hard time and a sick parent can put a lot of stress on a relationship and False God feels like the perfect way to pick up the main overaching love story and give it a response to Soon You’ll Get Better. It’s hard, but they can get through it. Even if it’s a false god, they’ll be there. That said, this song is far from my favorite. I feel so disconnected from it. It just feels boring. I get sucked in the last few lines of the pre-chours where she rushes through the lyrics and then the chorus is nice, but by the time the chorus ends, I’m bored again. The production gives me almost nothing. It feels like What A Feeling… a perfectly fine song, but boring as fuck and like it’s got a vibe that I don’t really fuck with. Like it feels like a song you get high to… and I don’t get high often, and I only do it ever when I’m going to sleep. So it feels like I’m going to sleep.

You Need to Calm Down: Let me start by prefacing that I ADORE the song. It was really important for her to say and I needed something to respond to the internet’s take down cancel culture and remind me not to get in the middle of the fights. However, this song sticks out like a sore thumb to me. It doesn’t feel like it fits. Coming after False God it feels like a complete outlier and like it doesn’t relate to the rest of the album. I could see an argument that it is about basic human respect and that kind of love and therefore has its place, but is this placement in the tracklist it??? I am thankful for the break when YNTCD comes because Soon You’ll Get Better is so heavy that it caries over to False God, but YNTCD feels completely unnecessary if you skip Soon You’ll Get Better and all of that heartbreak. Again though, it’s a classic and I adore it. Just not sure if I adore it for this album.

Afterglow: It’s so nice to hear a song from Taylor in which she apologizes and makes up after a fight. I don’t know why but I was worried she wouldn’t let us into the fights her and Joe have. That we would be outside. But like Ed said in End Game “you know that good and bad end up in a song.” Having a song from Taylor after 13 years that shows her experiencing conflict with a partner, apologizing, and ends without an end to the relationship…. And in this song it’s different from how she previously portrayed conflict too. Mine, in it’s hypothetical, expresses her “partner” chasing after her in. ME! (which we’ll get to in a second) also shows that kind of conflict resolution. Afterglow shows her taking responsibility and chasing after them. It’s one of my favorites for sure. Never underestimate the value of an apology. I have a lot to say.

ME!: First of all, fuck everyone “Hey kids, spelling is fun!” is hilarious and I cannot BELIEVE she took it out I am pissed. Second, I like this song so much more in the context of the album. Coming after Afterglow, it is important the next song both take responsibility for her negative traits that lead to that conflict and also not dwell on it. Me takes the whole conflict of Afterglow and reframes it from “I fucked up please don’t leave. Love me despite my flaws?” to “I know I’m difficult, but I am also so much more and damnit, I love me so I know you do too.” While the production still feels a bit hokey, I understand it’s purpose. I will forever be bitter about spelling is fun and you all are so mean. I hope you enjoy what you’ve done monsters.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend: My least favorite song on the album. It’s just so boring to me. The steel drums are nice, but it doesn’t feel like it ever goes anywhere. The chorus is too short and simple and I just feel nothing. idk I like the story I guess… meet in school, hang out timid first step… but then it ends in marriage? Haven’t we done this with Mary’s Song? idk i think I would like it better with a bridge in between the second chorus and the third verse because it’s like they skip the whole dating step. They go meeting, timid first step, MARRIAGE!!!! and the chorus is just not enough to separate second step from third. That and the fact the production doesn’t really go anywhere… It’s just so one note and boring and without any sort of conflict. I get it’s supposed to be like a daydream, I think… but even day dreams have conflicts. idk it’s a bad story because there’s no movement.

Daylight: I see why this album was almost named Daylight. I’m going need a lot more time with this song. I can see it being one of my favorite Taylor songs ever eventually but I need to memorize every second of it to let myself go into it. The Red reference FUCKED ME UP. And the voice message at the end. And just the release of this song. The whole thing is an exhale. A total release of tension. It’s truly astonishing. Like I said though, to really immerse myself in it, I’m going to need to memorize it. Because it’s a release of tension, to find that and feel that, I need to focus on every lyric, every production element, every note and just….. let go. I do think this is one of the most important songs she’s ever written. Both for herself and for the rest of the world. This song is a reminder to breathe. To let it go. To focus on love. To find the love in your life. To not let it get too dark. It’s beautiful and it will keep me going on my path to recovery… as I expect it will for many others too.

Favorites (in order of most to least): The Archer, Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, Lover = Paper Rings, Afterglow

Least favorites (in order most to least): I Think He Knows, False God, It’s Nice to Have a Friend

#lover album #personal #first thoughts!!

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ronniesqueen · 6 years ago

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A Journey To Find True Love

We start off with Archie as the bachelor, Ronnie is in his season. The story progresses, and she becomes the next bachelorette after he finishes his season. Both of them go on their journey to find true love.

I will be writing this AU in the form of a tv show. Since, we all know that “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” are reality tv shows.

Previously on “The Bachelor”

Archie sends Ethel and Valerie home at the rose ceremony, knowing he has deeper feelings for the other women.

Ethel had no hard feelings whatsoever, and she wished Archie the best as they parted ways

Valerie, on the other hand, called him out on making “easier choices” with the other women.

She also told him to not get distracted by the “shiny objects”

Leaving everyone shook.

Ronnie, Josie, Betty, and Cheryl remain.

Archie is meeting their families this week!!!!

Archie and Betty went on their hometown date

When Alice gave Archie a hard time

Would you expect her not to? LMAO

Archie and Veronica went on their hometown date too

Hiram gave Archie an even worse time

But...he came around, after pondering what Archie could bring the table, if he were to be a part of their “family“ ….

I know these last two episodes have been really light hearted and every ship has had really sweet moments so far,

Which is what I wanted, because I’m a multi-shipper.

BUT....

Are ya’ll ready for some tea?

Today’s episode will bring some drama and tea ;D

Okay.

Without further ado,

Buckle up, buckaroos!!!

Week Four.

Archosie’s Hometown Date

(setting: Confessional Booth)

Archie sat down, and sighed. “This morning I was at Pops. And, Valerie walked in. She apologized to me for what she said to me, after I sent her home last rose ceremony. So we’re good now. No hard feelings. But....she did tell me something else. And I have no idea what to make of it.”

He buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. And I’m scared. I just... want to be able to enjoy this day with Josie. But I have so much just knawing at my brain. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.”

(setting: Andrews Household)

“What should I do?” Archie asked Fred, sitting at the breakfast table.

“Well,” Fred said, sighing. “There’s no way of knowing who’s telling you the truth. But also keep in mind that next week is fantasy suites. Whoever you decide to believe, whoever you decide to trust, needs to make it through.”

Mary entered the room. “I would say call up the exes. Every girl you sent home already, and ask them what they think. They have no reason to lie to you. What would they gain from lying? You already dumped them.”

“Or you can just ask Valerie who she was talking about instead of having those awkward conversations with girls who probably aren’t too thrilled with you,” Jughead smirked, taking a bite from his pancake.

Archie, Fred, and Mary gave Jughead a look.

“Just putting that out there,” Jughead chuckled nervously.

Archie pulled out his phone, and dialed Ethel.

(setting: Pops)

“Thank you for meeting me,” Archie said. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve actually been doing really well,” Ethel said, with a genuine smile.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Archie responded.

“Have you been, reaching out to every girl? Or just me?” Ethel laughed.

Archie leaned forward. “Just you. Because, when we had our one-on-one, you showed me that you have a really genuine heart. I don’t believe that you’d ever lie, Ethel. I don’t think being malicious or deceitful is part of who you are.”

She smiled. “Thank you for that.”

“So, I have something I want to ask you. And, I want you to be as honest as I know you really are,” Archie said, getting choked up.

“Aww,” Ethel said sympathetically, rubbing his shoulders. “What’s wrong Archie?”

He took a deep breath. “I was told, by Valerie, that there is someone, or multiple women, who...”

“Aren’t here for the right reasons,” she finished his sentence.

“My greatest fear going into this, was falling in love with someone who is just going through the motions and isn’t ready. I don’t want to get down on one knee and propose to someone who...who..” he said, when his voice cracked, and a tear fell from his eye.

Ethel took his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Do you...?” He began.

She sighed. “I heard some things. I saw some things. It was a little bit, disheartening. But I never told you because I didn’t think it was my place. I wanted you to figure out on your own whether or not someone is who they say they are.”

He briefly smiled. “Thank you for respecting me enough to do that. But honestly, I had no idea. If Valerie hadn’t said anything, I never would’ve known.”

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“I don’t believe in tearing other women down. But Archie’s heart is on the line. As well as his fucking sanity. So yes, I am going to spill the tea...” Ethel said to the camera.

(setting: Pops)

Ethel shut her eyes. Took a deep breath. Then she met his eyes.

“I don’t think Cheryl and Josie are genuine.”

Archie’s eyes grew wide.

“I overheard them having a conversation during the first group date. They were making fun of Melody, Valerie, and Betty. And when were in the limo on our way to the cocktail party, I overheard them having an even worse conversation....”

Archie stared at her, taking everything in.

“The terms “winning” and “playing the game” were said. But Archie....” she whispered. “They were already talking about being the next bachelorette.”

Archie’s jaw dropped, and he immediately put his face in hands.

“Well, you.... you would have no reason to lie. So, I will, um...” Archie said, still in shock. Unable to meet her eyes. He sighed. “I’m not upset with you. It’s just that....this sucks, you know?”

“I know. And I’m so sorry. I’m also really sorry that you had to find out like this.”

He finally looked up at her. He smiled. “Thank you, Ethel. I really appreciate you.”

She hugged him. “You were there for me. I’m here for you, too. Good luck with everything. I know this sucks but you really just need to trust your heart.”

“I don’t know how at this point.”

“Sure you do!” Ethel said cheerfully. “Just talk to them. Hear them out. Maybe they have a logical explanation. Or maybe they don’t. But whether they are genuine or they aren’t, what happens next is really just up to you Archie.”

(setting: Riverdale Town Hall)

Archie lead Josie, as she was wearing a blindfold.

“Okay,” he said, hugging her from behind. “Take off your blindfold.” Josie removed her blindfold to see a large beautiful stage with white flowers all over it, and twinkly blue lights.

She gasped. “You did this for me?”

“I’m sorry that it’s at the town hall. I would’ve loved to build you a stage at the park, but I didn’t have much time, and-”

Josie kissed him. “I love it.”

“I’m glad,” Archie said. Grabbing a microphone. “Called you for the first time yesterday. Finally found the missing part of me,” he sang.

Josie playfully took the microphone away from him. “Felt so close but you were far away,” she sang. “Left me without anything to say.”

They leaned towards each other, sharing the microphone. “Now I’m speechless, over the edge, I’m just breathless, I never thought I could catch this lovebug again. Hopeless, head over heels in the moment, I never thought I could get hit by this lovebug again.”

They kissed briefly when he pulled away. “Josie, I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s fair to you that we’re doing this while I have a lot of stuff on my mind.”

She was taken aback. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, this isn’t your fault. Believe me, I really want to enjoy this day with you. But...I need to get something off my chest.”

“I kinda felt like you weren’t saying something,” she commented.

They sat down on the stage.

“I had some conversations with some of the women who I’ve eliminated. And they told me...” he began. “Well, you already know serious I am about wanting an engagement out of this, more than anything.”

“Right,” she said, nodding.

“So you understand then, why it would...really feel like I got punched in the gut, if I were to find out someone I’m crazy about, isn’t here for the right reasons.”

She closed her eyes. “They said it was me. Didn’t they?”

Archie just stared at her.

“Well,” Josie said, standing up. “If you even believe that for a second, then how much do you really trust me, Archie?”

“Of course I trust you Josie,” Archie said, standing up as well. “But I just want to know why multiple women would say this about you if there wasn’t a reason behind it.”

She sighed. “What exactly did they say?”

“They said that you were already talking about being the next bachelorette.”

“Okay,” she said calmly. “I’ve never in my life actually thought about being the next bachelorette. I did mention it to Cheryl, but only because I was telling her that, if you and I get engaged at the end of this, then I pray that she’s the next bachelorette so that she can have her happy ending too.”

Archie smiled. “I can...actually picture you saying that.”

“Cheryl and I got really close. And, she said the same thing back to me. That if you were to choose her at the end of this, then she hopes I become the next bachelorette so that I can find my person too.”

He grinned. “That sounds more like the Josie I know.”

She kissed him. “I don’t know who told you about that conversation but honestly, they took it out of context. I was never saying that I only came to be the next bachelorette. I came here for you. Because I do see something in you.”

“I wish I would’ve just gone to you directly.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But honestly, I just thought it was an innocent conversation between girl friends. I never thought it would be used against me.”

He put his arms around her, kissing her some more. “That’s part of the reason I was so shocked. When Valerie told me she knew someone wasn’t here for the right reasons, I thought to myself, “she can’t be talking about Josie””

Josie’s eyes narrowed. “Valerie, huh?”

“Oh shoot,” Archie said, realizing his mistake. “I don’t want any tension between you guys, which was why I didn’t plan on saying any names. But..that was an accident.”

She smiled. “No, it’s okay. I actually really like that we’re talking about this. Shows how strong our connection is.”

He kissed her hand. “Tell me about your family. Who am I meeting tonight?”

“Just my mom. My dad is still on the road. He sent his apologies. But he does know how much I care for you, and how happy we are when we’re together. So...” she giggled. “IF you were to meet him in person someday down the road, he’d give you his blessing.”

He smiled wide. “That’s amazing!”

She bit her lip. “It’s my mom you’ll have to convince.”

(setting: McCoy Household)

Archie and Josie stood, outside the house.

“Are you nervous, lover boy?” she giggled.

“I am,” he admitted. “I’m meeting the mayor.”

She laughed. “Just be yourself. And she’ll probably approve.”

He smiled.

She opened the door.

“Josie!” her mother cheered as she ran to her and greeted her with a hug. She smiled at Archie. “You must be the bachelor himself.”

“Mayor McCoy, it's truly an honor to meet you.”

She shook his hand. “You can call me Sierra.”

“Everything’s been going really well so far,” Josie said. “He’s been such a gem.”

“I would hope so. You deserve nothing but the best.”

Archie glanced at the piano. “Do you play, Sierra?”

Sierra laughed. “Of course not, I bought it for Josie.”

“My mom’s always been really supportive of my singing career. She’s never missed a single show, and always helped me with everything I needed.”

Archie smiled. “That’s truly heartwarming.”

“And I always will,” Sierra said. “Archie, can you give us a minute?”

“Absolutely.”

Josie and Sierra went upstairs to Josie’s bedroom, and sat down on the bed. “What’d you think?” Josie asked, giggling.

“You two seem really happy,” Sierra said. She sighed. “Can you honestly tell me that this is what you want? To be engaged?”

Josie sat there for a moment. She felt as if the moment was finally hitting her. “This ends with an engagement..” she whispered.

“Hasn’t Archie said that to you before?”

“Of course he has, all the time. And I really thought I was ready for that. When I first came on the show, and I met him, I really felt like this could happen. Like, I saw it. Mom, I really saw it. But now...”

“What is it?”

“We still have so much we need to figure out before we can even get there. What if my career takes off and I need to travel on the road? He can’t just put his life on hold to come with me. And, long distance wouldn’t work for months at a time...”

“Your father and I dealt with that. But it was more-so because we had simply fallen out of love. These feelings you have for Archie, can you see them lasting for a lifetime? Or do you see it possibly fading away with time apart from being on the road?”

“I....” Josie said. “I don’t know. I’ve been so optimistic about our relationship that I guess I haven’t.....looked at it from every angle. I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m just...thinking that we don’t want the same type of commitment.”

(setting: Downstairs.)

Sierra came down stairs. She sat down across from Archie. “I’m not rooting against you by any means. I simply want to know...can you see yourself with Josie long term?”

He grinned. “I absolutely can.”

“You know how seriously she takes her singing career.”

“I will support that in every way I possibly can.”

She leaned forward. “I think you two need to dig deep into what you want. What you really, truly want. And, if everything aligns, then I completely will give you my blessing to marry her.”

Archie pondered that for a moment.

(setting: Outside the house.)

Archie and Josie stood, making out by the sidewalk.

“You know how much I appreciate you,” Josie said.

“You know I’m crazy about you,” Archie responded.

“I’m crazy about you too,” she giggled.

He softly touched her cheek. “I want you to know that I will always support you. Anything you decide with your singing career. And I’m so proud of you for really pursuing your dreams..”

She kissed him. “Archie..” she paused. Then smiled. “I’m falling in love with you.”

“I’m falling in love with you, Josie.”

They kissed for a few more minutes when Archie’s limo arrived. “I’ll see you at the rose ceremony.”

“Yes you will.”

He got inside the limo, she watched, smiling, as it drove away.

-------------------END CREDITS-------------------

#archosie

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approximately12screamingcats · 6 years ago

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the hunger games re-read part 1

so the first time i read the hunger games i was...10? 11? somewhere in there. the last time i read them (before now) i was probably 13. i decided about a week or two ago i wanted to read them again, because it had been awhile and i knew i would get more and different things out of them now than then.

i just finished the first book, and i wanna share some of my thoughts, contrasting them to old ones and giving new ones

under the cut because it’s gonna be real long

katniss

i’d say the biggest difference in my last times reading these and now is my opinion on katniss. when i was younger i had the easy opinion that she was boring and annoyingly emotionless. but honestly that’s really not true, and i think it was in part influenced by her portrayal in the movies, which i always thought was good enough but could’ve been better, and i’d go so far to say now that her casting wasn’t great. but also, a movie in third person is very different from a book in first.

but really what i found, katniss is not emotionless, and she’s not boring. no, she’s still not what i would consider a favorite character of mine, i don’t love her, she’s not exactly my type of character that i love. but she’s interesting, and already a fascinating example of what hardship can do to a person. emotionless was such a wild impression to have of her, but i know i wasn’t the only one that thought that. i can say i definitely do not think that now.

she clearly says near the beginning of the book that she’s learned and taught herself to appear emotionless, so that she doesn’t betray her true feelings about the capitol and endanger herself or her family. but she isn’t emotionless at all. she feels very deeply, whether it’s ones she can identify like her love for prim, or ones she can’t, like her (growing) love for peeta.

the most marked thing about katniss is how her entire life has been driven by this need to survive. it encompasses everything she does, everything she has always done, and overshadows almost everything else. since she was eleven years old, she’s had to provide daily for her family, constantly watching out for starvation and arrest and death by wild animals. it’s no surprise she has no idea how to feel about things outside of that. she even says after the games she doesn’t know who she is when she doesn’t have to fight for food every day anymore. i haven’t gotten there yet, but i think that same theme comes back in the beginning of catching fire. her identity has been wrapped in this survival mode, and it’s twisted her into this person that has had to suppress any and all wants of things that could interfere with surviving. she’s not emotionless, she just quite literally has not had the time or energy to think about anything else and how to process it.

the romance

there’s a lot of opinions surrounding this romance. frankly, at the simplest levels, it’s part of the plot. the star crossed lovers of district 12. but yeah, of course there’s more than that. this is a little hard for me to evaluate without bringing up the other books, but tbh i’ll say what i think now with this one fresh in my mind and the others more distant, and see if it changes after catching fire and mockingjay.

anyway, since addressing the love triangle is unavoidable, i have always liked peeta and katniss as a couple more than gale and katniss. originally, i think at least 50% of why was simply because i liked peeta and i didn’t like gale. interestingly, that opinion still holds solid, but that’s not really why i like katniss and peeta better anymore.

katniss, already in book one, is not ambivalent to peeta and she certainly does not dislike him. honestly, i used to think it wasn’t until someway through catching fire that she began to really love him (romantically). but this read through made me realize she is already starting to in this book. it’s under the surface, and definitely doesn’t take hold until catching fire, but it’s there. their connection is emphasized and shown multiple times even before they get into the games. so many times it’s made apparent that she at least cares about him, but i’d say there’s beginnings for more than that.

the unfortunate thing is that being pushed into the whole love story thing for survival, and in front of everyone, is a really terrible environment for someone who barely understands her own emotions to be processing new ones. she’s worried about him dying, she’s incredibly hurt when she thinks he betrayed her for the careers (betrayal is a very strong word for her to choose here too, when she’s been pondering this whole time how one of them has to die). she very evidently wants him to live when she finds him by the stream. frankly, he was already dying, if she really didn’t care about him, she could have easily let him die without it even looking suspect to the audience. she’s not great at medical, which is shown a lot.

and i mean, how many times does she say she can’t bear the idea of being without him? of him dying? yes, usually these are either quick thoughts in a tense moment, or fraught with confusion or other musings, or paired in direct contrast with gale, but they’re there. she worries about it a lot. at the very end, when peeta realizes “it was all a sham for the audience” she even says she’s not sure if it was only fake, and that she misses him already.

to an extent, there’s bonding from trauma here, but i don’t think that’s an invalid manner of bonding? and it’s not just in and after the games that this shows either. it’s there a little bit from the start. she just has to get to know him.

i need to restrain myself from diving too deep into what’s coming here, but i’ll say this: as the books go on, obviously a lot more happens, but i really think one massive block in the way of katniss admitting to falling in love with peeta is the fact that it’s so blatant and open in front of the capitol. katniss hates the capitol, as does most everyone in the districts. but having her whole life on display like that, forcing her out of a decision, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, but it is very easy to see how that would make someone (especially a private person) want to withdraw away from that relationship. and katniss, having such a difficult time with her own emotions anyway since her live has been all about survival, doesn’t need that extra barrier on everything to muddle up her emotions and make it harder for her to tell what’s real or not real (lmao).

as for gale, cause i know some people think she clearly loves him, i can get into that more as i get back into the other two books. but from this one so far, and what i remember, a lot of the gale vs peeta stuff isn’t so much about a straight up romance love triangle, but more about what katniss’ life is vs what she wishes it could be. katniss presents herself as a cold and hard person, but she really isn’t like that. she loves soft things, she wants to live in peace, she loves rue and prim and got excited about giving a goat to her sister that she splurged on a ribbon for it. she sang with her father and only stopped when he died. she says she could never admit to her mother how much she needs her gentle touch. the life katniss is living, silent and stoic and always fighting in the woods, is not what she wants. gale, her friend that she definitely genuinely loves (platonically), is parallel to her life. the hunter, full of rage against the capitol, symbol to everything she’s known out of necessity, not want. peeta is calmer, gentler, a symbol to the life she wishes she could have. that’s why they eventually settle down in the epilogue. gale was never the romantic partner katniss needed.

but ive gone far past book one and i’ll get back into these analysis later when catching fire and mockingjay and the epilogue are fresher in my mind.

the rebellion

when i first read these books, my favorite parts were the action and peeta. but man. reading this through now, the story of this rebellion and the rising of people for their justice just screams through the page. and im not even to catching fire yet. it hit me when district 12 raised the salute to katniss, but it hit me even harder when rue died and when cato died. i mean...rue’s death. how katniss covers her in flowers. sings for the first time. drawing to light the utter inhumanity of what the capitol puts children through. but this part got to me specifically:

“I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenseless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.”

i can almost hear the lament in that line, “it’s the capitol i hate, for doing this to all of us.” because that’s the truth. they throw up this show, driving them to competition, to hatred, but in the end, even the careers are victims of the capitol.

cato’s death too, for so many of the same reasons. i mean, it’s hard to read this and not feel outright repulsion at what hell the capitol is putting on these people. making the mutts, making them look like the tributes, and then the sheer agony of cato being eaten alive. when katniss and peeta decide to kill him, to relieve him of his misery, it again reveals the truth of things, behind the fancy gold curtain the capitol tries to put up in front of the games.

“It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he’s trying to say is please.

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull.”

these parts are the first set up we get for what happens later. the games are awful enough, but seeing them so raw and unhindered, from the first hand account, you can’t look away.

i don’t know. i can’t put it into words yet, but it moves me immensely. just the story of a people oppressed for so long, revealing the horror and setting themselves free.

other small observations

i kinda wish i had read these books again when i was 16. because 16 sounded so old when i was 10-13, but now it seems young. i would have liked to read it knowing i was the same age as katniss, picturing how that really would be.

i also forgot cinna was not literally lenny kravitz.

i have not read a book this fast for recreation in years, and im LIVING.

#m #the hunger games #thg #thg reread #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne

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