#this was really fun to write and really hard to bc I never wrote Silver before

[owoshrike]

Stronger

Or the fic where Silver manages to ask Shadow for some training

The silver hedgehog groaned as he tumbled to the ground roughly, the wind being knocked out of him temporarily. He laid there for a moment and only moved to spread his arms out on the ground, his chest rising and falling as he greedily took in air.

“Get up.”

Silver could’ve cursed at the voice that grunted at him but he was too tired to do so. Plus, he knew he had asked for this.

“Aww, come on, Shads! You didn’t even give him a chance!”

The time traveler took a deep breath in before pushing himself up, crossing his legs and placing his hands against them. Sweat beaded down his face as he stared down at the ground, his heart pounding hard against his chest. He looked up between his lashes at Shadow, the dark hedgehog turned to argue with the only spectator of their sparring lesson.

‘If I can even call it that,’ Silver’s mind unhelpfully supplied.

“He whined until I agreed to train him so I’m not planning on going easy on him,” Shadow growled, turning back to look down at the silver hedgehog. His eyes narrowed for a moment before he walked over, holding out his hand to Silver. “Come on, get up.”

Silver rolled his eyes with a huff but grabbed the outstretched hand, allowing the other hedgehog to pull him up. There was a gust of wind and Sonic was immediately by Silver’s side, holding out a bottle of water for him to take if he wanted to. His quills bristled in embarrassment, but he accepted the water with a nod of thanks, taking a quick swallow before handing it back. Golden eyes darted up to see Shadow back on his side of the room, the dark hedgehog standing with his arms crossed as he watched the two of them with a blank expression. “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?” he grunted out in annoyance.

If Shadow was even phased by his attitude, he didn’t let it show. “If you can’t figure it out yourself, then we’re already wasting time,” the other said plainly.

The time traveler’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to retort but Sonic moved in front of him with his hands raised in a placating manner. “Hey, hey! Don’t blow your gasket on Shadow just yet, bud,” he said with a small laugh. “He’s the last person you would expect to be a teacher so this is new territory for him! That’s why I’m here as a second pair of eyes.”

Silver’s cheeks flushed slightly and he looked back at Shadow, glaring before turning his attention back to Sonic. “Okay. Then can you tell me what I did wrong?” he asked snappily.

Emerald eyes looked at him with surprise in their eyes as the blue hedgehog placed his hands on his hips, his foot tapping as he got his thoughts together. His ear twitched and he hummed, and Silver couldn’t help but track the subtle movements with rapt attention. He held his breath with anticipation as Sonic began to tap his chin, biting his lip with the hedgehog tilting his head back. Then, just as Sonic snapped his fingers and opened his mouth, Shadow cut him off.

“It’s obvious that you lack confidence in your skills.”

Silver blinked, ignoring the disappointed mutter of “you stole my moment” that Sonic let out and turned his full attention back to Shadow. The dark hedgehog walked over to them, picking up a spare water bottle that was on the floor. “It’s that simple. You lack confidence when you go to strike,” he said, flipping the water bottle in his hand and catching it once more. His red-maroon eyes narrowed suddenly. “Catch.”

Quickly, he tossed the water bottle at Silver and the hedgehog simply raised his hand, the bottle stopping midair just before it reached his head. He stared through the liquid inside as Shadow continued to walk towards them, moving his other hand underneath the bottle before releasing the psychokinetic hold on it. It landed in his hand with a muted sound and his fingers curled around the bottle. Silver’s brows furrowed together in confusion and he gasped. “W-wait, you wanted me to catch it without my powers didn’t you? Shit, I didn’t think-”

“No. I told you to catch it and you did.” Shadow reached out a hand and tapped the bottle Silver was holding. “You didn’t even think about it because you were confident that you could stop the bottle before it hit you. What confidence you have in your psychic abilities is what you lack in your physical combat,” he said, using that same hand to gesture towards Silver’s body. “That punch you attempted to throw was so open that I wouldn’t even have to use Chaos Control to counter it.”

An annoying memory from the back of Silver’s mind immediately sprang forward along with a throbbing pain in the back of Silver’s head. He immediately swallowed down the irritation that followed it to focus on Shadow’s words. Once more, he looked at the bottle and watched the condensation roll off of it. The dark hedgehog was right; Silver didn’t even think of catching the bottle before it got close to him. He immediately registered the projectile and simply…caught it.

“But….” Silver growled and the bottle floated in his hand. “You can’t compare this to you throwing a punch or a kick at me! It’s completely different circumstances!”

Shadow’s eyes narrowed in irritation, sparking a vibrant red before dimming back down. “It shouldn’t matter if I tell you to catch the bottle or not. Or even if I tell you to block a punch or not. If you’re not confident that you can do it, then what’s the point of this training?”

Silver opened his mouth but words failed to come forth and, instead, a heavy sigh escaped him. He caught Sonic crossing his arms out of the corner of his eye, the hedgehog moving to stand in front of him. There was a small smile on his face as he regarded Silver and, again, the time traveler couldn’t help the feeling of embarrassment swirling in his stomach. When Silver approached Shadow with the question of helping him with hand-to-hand combat, he was expecting a flat-out refusal.

Which he did receive.

He had a whole spiel ready to (hopefully) convince the dark hedgehog to help him out but then Sonic happened upon them and did it for him. While he was thankful for that, there was a part of him that got upset when Sonic insisted on being there as well. He already had to swallow some pride to ask Shadow of all people to train him. If Blaze was currently present, he would’ve most likely gone to her even if the very thought made his cheeks warm. While she relied on her flames, the woman was an incredible fighter as well. They had spent a significant amount of time together where Silver believed she would’ve been an ideal teacher for him and it was the same case for Sonic as well. Silver didn’t doubt the blue hedgehog’s skills with melee combat at all, but he only reached out to Shadow because of how…lowkey the other was. Silver was afraid that Sonic would end up making a game out of the whole matter versus acting like a proper instructor due to how his personality was.

There was also a gleam in his eyes at the idea of combat that…unnerved Silver to a degree, though he wouldn’t admit it aloud. He had faced Sonic before and had the upperhand against the hedgehog on more than one occasion but a melee spar between the two would be a new challenge for Silver. He also assumed that Sonic would try to play the “nice guy” while training him which Silver wanted to avoid completely. Sonic was a good friend but he wanted a firm teacher hence he decided to pursue Shadow.

Silver wasn’t quick to call Shadow a friend, but he was in that gray area between that and “solely ally”. Shadow was blunt and to the point that Silver figured developed from his time working with G.U.N. He knew that the dark hedgehog wouldn’t ask any questions and simply charge at Silver with everything he had, which is what the silver hedgehog wanted in the end. With Shadow, he would know what he was getting into with the session and Silver believed that that was the best way to go about this.

No strings attached. Just a simple and efficient training session.

“I do agree with Shadow on that, Silver,” Sonic said, his voice cutting through Silver’s thoughts. “You’re an awesome fighter for sure but you rely too much on this-” The blue hedgehog waved his hands and tapped his head as a show. “That isn’t necessarily a bad thing but don’t get too stuck in your head about it. It’s never easy learning a new skill but you gotta envision yourself mastering it! Even if you fail a bunch of times- and you definitely will, no offense- you shouldn’t let that discourage you. Just try it from a different angle!”

Silver blinked and his ears laid down against his quills as he took a breath. His eyes snapped over to see Shadow staring at the wall, the dark hedgehog’s eyes narrowed in what Silver could only guess was frustration. At him or Sonic, he wasn’t sure. The time traveler sighed and nodded, clenching his fists together before lowering the water bottle into Sonic’s hand. The hero was right. Silver managed to master his own powers on his own under the pressing weight of an apocalypse happening around him so this should be easy. It was different then, given that he had no choice but to learn quickly or die. Even then, it wasn’t like he could get into fist fights with any of the monsters Iblis had spawned and he became so well versed with his psychokinesis that he got complacent with it.

The idea of asking for help with melee combat brewed in the back of his mind for some time. During one of the times he had traveled back to the past- thankfully for a visit rather than a new apocalyptic world-ending event- Silver accompanied Team Sonic and Team Dark on one of their usual rounds of stopping Dr. Eggman. During the battle, the mad doctor deployed some Shadow Androids against them when the wave of Eggpawns he threw at them fell. Silver was pretty sure this was the first time he ever saw Shadow switch to fighting more hands-on rather than relying on his Chaos abilities. It was an incredible display of strength that Silver couldn’t help but marvel at. He had watched with captivated awe and a small stir of jealousy as well.

Another time, he got the chance to see Sonic go head-to-head with Metal Sonic and his attention was captured all the same in the display. The way the two matched blow for blow at matching speeds that were almost too much for Silver to keep up with. Shadow he could understand being able to punch metal, but Sonic? For all Silver could tell, Sonic was just…a hedgehog. A speedy force of nature that fights robot armies and has taken down gods before, sure, but a hedgehog nonetheless. It only made the envious pit in his stomach grow but it also gave way to a newfound want.

Silver would not sell himself short in terms of his own strength, but this was a different show of it. He knew upon their first meeting that there were areas that he could excel at better than Shadow or Sonic but there was still that drive and want to be strong like they were. When they had taken down Solaris together- a memory that he holds dearly since no one else could-, he felt that he was finally on their level. That he could look at them as fellow comrades in strength while ignoring the thoughts that said otherwise. Seeing their combat skills served as a harsh reminder that he still had some ways to go.

“Alright. I want to try again, Shadow,” he said, narrowing his eyes when the dark hedgehog’s ears flicked towards him.

There was a pause before the other turned to look at him, nodding as he waved his hand for Sonic to go back to spectating. “Fine, then. But we’re going to try a…different approach and hopefully it’ll work for you.” Shadow hummed and briefly pressed his hand under his chin, glancing down to the ground before his eyes snapped up. “Instead of sparring this time, I want you to attack me and I’ll do nothing but defend. I didn’t think to get an idea of what you are lacking before we rushed into starting.”

Silver scratched the back of his head and looked off to the side. He was so eager to get into training that he also didn’t think about that, nor did he ask Shadow to go through the basics of it all. He was so used to rushing things for the sake of an emergency that he forgot that, for once, he had time.

The “but for how long?” was whispered traitorously in his mind.

“So…you want me to just rush at you?” he asked, raising one eyeridge high as he watched Shadow settle into a fighting stance. Silver mimicked the action.

“Sounds like you’re going easy on him, Shads!” Sonic teased from the sidelines, only giggling when Shadow growled at him to shut up. Silver bitterly thought the same and his cheeks puffed as he pouted.

“Imagine that you were given this chance to start the fight on your terms without anyone getting the drop on you,” Shadow instructed. “You have the chance to keep the situation under your control.”

Silver blinked and he breathed out slowly, closing his eyes with the action. His fists clenched tightly and his feet braced against the ground. After a beat, golden eyes snapped open and he ran forward with his left fist cocked back. Shadow simply took a half step back and moved his right arm forward, blocking the hit that Silver attempted. Not letting the disappointment of the failed hit weigh him down, Silver quickly tried to follow up with another rushed strike. His teeth grit together as his frustration built with each blocked hit, the hedgehog snapping his gaze up to see Shadow’s neutral but calculating expression. The dark hedgehog didn’t offer any commentary aside from a simple grunt or a simple “try again”. His feet only carried him backwards but not because Silver was forcing him to.

Despite what he had just said, Shadow had only given the illusion of control to Silver.

The silver hedgehog growled and put more force behind a punch aimed for Shadow’s face, the dark hedgehog’s eyes narrowing as he brought his arms up together to block it. Silver felt a sliver of pride since his punch broke the block, smirking as he spun around on his heel to strike a kick to Shadow’s exposed head. Red eyes followed the movement before the hedgehog ducked under the kick, Silver’s momentum still carrying himself with the spin of it and almost losing his balance.

Sonic let out an impressive whistle from the sidelines, laughing lightly. “Ooo, that was nice, Silver! You were close!” he cheered and Silver almost turned his head to flash the other a grin but kept his eyes trained forward.

His heart was pounding against his chest as he brought his fists back up, watching Shadow get back into his stance before the other nodded for him to resume. Silver’s mind raced with what to do next but ultimately decided on another round of punches, keeping them aimed near the dark hedgehog’s upper body. He tried to kick from the side but Shadow brought his knee up and met the hit before pushing himself forward to force Silver back.

“Good. You’re getting more confident now,” Shadow said and his lips turned up slightly into what looked like a smile. “Now, we’re going to switch roles and I want you to defend against all of my attacks the best you can.”

“Okay…alright,” Silver said in between breaths, adjusting his stand when he saw Shadow do the same. When the dark hedgehog rolled his neck, the time traveler couldn’t help how his eyes widened a fraction. “Just don’t turn me into your damn punching bag like before.”

“Then you better know how to deflect. Try to copy what I was doing previously.”

With that said, the dark hedgehog rushed at him though not as fast as he did at the start of their session. His punches weren’t slowed down tremendously but just enough that he didn’t immediately overwhelm Silver. But even with that, Shadow didn’t hold back as much with the force of his hits. Silver grunted as Shadow’s right hook caught him in the side, forcing himself to not fully recoil from the hit as he leaned back from the next punch. Unlike how he had Shadow, Shadow had him quickly stepping backwards with each hit from both the force and the need to dodge.

He saw Shadow move his weight onto his left leg and leaning back. The hedgehog then swung his other leg in a wide kick. Silver brought his arm up to the side of his head, grunting as he took the hit. Shadow did not let up in his attack, switching on the fly between his right and left legs. Although he continued to block the hits, Silver could feel the muscles in his arms growing sore and struggling to stay up.

‘If I don’t do something, he’s going to make an opening!’ he thought frantically, sweat beading down his cheek.

His eyes glanced down to Shadow’s left leg as it rose up, taking the chance to bring his right arm down. Silver pivoted on his left to move back, dodging back as the kick swung towards him. The palms of his glove glowed as he brought his right hand around to meet it, the cyan glow appearing just before Shadow’s foot met with the palm of his hand. The time traveler took in the slight surprise on Shadow’s face and took his chance, redirecting the other’s foot back to the ground. He could feel the phantom grip of Shadow’s leg under his power, but it wasn’t as strong as it normally would have been if he were fully using his power.

Instead, it acted as a small barrier just before the point of contact and allowed Silver a chance of control. Once Shadow’s foot touched the ground, Silver curled his fingers into a fist and struck Shadow in the side as the hedgehog moves to jump back. It was a brief touch but a victory nonetheless that made Silver’s heart pound in triumph.

Shadow regarded him for a second, staying silent as he glanced down at Silver’s hand. It made the silver hedgehog a bit self-conscious, and Silver began to pull at the cuff of his glove. “It was a force of habit,” he said with a sigh, brows scrunching together in frustration. He then growled and gripped at his head quills. “Damnit. I was getting the hang of it- even though I was mostly just blocking- but I was doing fine without using my powers! Really thought I had it there-“

“Silver.”

The other words that were about to tumble out of his mouth immediately stopped once Shadow addressed him, the silver hedgehog turning his eyes up to look at the other. He was…well, Shadow wasn’t smiling but the corner of his mouth was turned up slightly to where he almost didn’t have the neutral expression that Silver is always used to. His eyes sparked with challenge, the dark maroon of his eyes shifting to the rubies that he sees when the other is in battle.

“That is what you needed. You were too focused on suppressing one skill to learn another,” he said as he held out his hand. Immediately, Chaos Energy began to spark at his fingertips and it formed into the familiar shape of his Chaos Spear. The construct rested in his palm but it still crackled as if ready for use if he so much as thought about it. He flipped his hand over and the spear dispersed into an abstract form, circling around his hand like a bolt of lightning before Shadow clenched his fist. It immediately shattered in a show of sparks. “I don’t shut off my Chaos Energy when I go into close combat. It’s a constant part of me even when I decide not to use it. You shouldn’t have to shut off another facet of yourself just to master another. Instead, you need to find a way to have them strengthen one another.”

Silver blinked and looked down at his hands, thinking back to how earlier Shadow and Sonic said that he needed to have more confidence in his abilities. He thought they had meant the one; the hand-to-hand ability but the two hedgehogs meant all of his skills in tandem. He wasn’t as strong as Shadow nor as fast as Sonic, but again…he had something they didn’t.

Something that he mastered that they couldn’t.

The power beneath his skin swelled almost in response to his revelation. As if it was saying “about time you realized it” and the voice almost sounded like Blaze. It rose just close enough to the surface that a gentle pressure settled in the back of Silver’s mind, a newfound determination rising along with it. He clenched his fists together tightly and nodded, a grin splitting on his muzzle.

“Oooo, someone’s all fired up now,” Sonic whistled, nodding over at Silver with a gleam in his eye. “If you’re not too tired after sparring with Shadow, I’d love to take you on too, Silver!”

For once, Silver wasn’t embarrassed at the idea of training with Sonic. He looked forward to it. The time-traveler laughed lightly and nodded his head. “I’ll accept that challenge!” he said before turning his attention back to Shadow. He crouched a bit and brought his hands up though his palms were open. “Alright, Shadow. I’m ready and don’t hold back either!”

Shadow blinked and shook his head, a small humorous huff leaving his lips as he got into his own battle stance. “If you’re so sure, Silver. This means you better meet my hits and strike harder than you did before,” he said, narrowing his eyes. His eyes practically glowed. “I’ll still take it slow for your sake but I won’t hold back my strength as much.”

Both hedgehogs maintained eye contact as they stared the other down, the room falling settling into a heavy silence. Silver’s heart pounded against his chest and he curled his fists tight, feeling the buzzing of energy just underneath his skin. In the next beat, Shadow shifted first, his body moving forward quickly. He feinted to the right before twisting back, raising his fist and throwing a punch. Silver reached his hand out and it ignited with a bright cyan. Once more, he felt the phantom pressure of Shadow’s fist striking his palm before he pushed it aside, spinning around the hedgehog to try to drive his elbow into his side. The dark hedgehog easily dodged the move, going to feint to the left before driving his fist forward into Silver’s stomach.

The time-traveler felt the breath escape him as he slid back, the glow of his power covering his body to slow him to a stop before he dismissed it. He gritted his teeth and watched as Shadow ran at him, opting to remain in control of the fight. Silver blocked each strike as quickly as he could, bringing his arms up in front of him when Shadow leaned back to swing his left leg around in a wide kick. With the next kick thrown at him, Silver leaned his body to the right and rolled on the ground. He braced his hand on the ground and swung his leg under the other, catching Shadow in the back of the leg. He fell but planted both his hands on the ground, pushing his body to flip backwards and create more space between the two of them.

Silver quickly shot back up to his feet and ran forward while the other was pushing up, clenching his fist and swinging it into Shadow’s chest. His eyes widened for a second as the hit landed, a grin spreading out on his face when he heard the other hedgehog grunt.

“Gotcha!” he couldn’t help but exclaim in a burst of pride though it was short-lived.

Shadow’s hand quickly grasped around Silver’s wrist tightly and he turned to press his back against Silver’s chest. The time-traveler tried to pull his wrist back as he realized what the other was about to do but to no avail, his body getting pulled over as Shadow flipped him into the ground.

He could hear the dramatic wince Sonic let out as his back slammed into the ground, his eyes going wide as the hard floor stung against his back. From his current angle, Shadow’s expression looked like the other was offering him a smile but the hedgehog knew the truth. With a small curse, he spread his arms out wide on the floor, his chest heaving up and down.

Shadow huffed and walked around so Silver could see him at the proper angle and…huh. He actually was smiling, albeit a small hardly noticeable expression.

“You didn’t do terrible there,” the hybrid said as he crossed his arms. The darker hedgehog hardly looked winded unlike Silver and the sight made his ears pin back in annoyance. Shadow must’ve noticed because his smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to be an expert right away and we probably should stop for the day. You’re exhausted and it’ll only cause you to get sloppier if we continued.”

A counter rested on the silver hedgehog’s tongue but he ultimately resigned. He finally found a method to his fighting and wanted to continue on, but the other had a point. Before the turning point of their sparring lesson, it all was one-sided. Repeatedly, he found himself in this very position at the start but now…well, he was currently in that same position but it felt different this time. Before, he had no method or strategy, and just went in with an idea of how he wanted to fight. But now?

Shadow beat him but Silver could learn from it rather than stewing in his frustration.

When a glove entered his field of vision, he was snapped out of his thoughts. Sonic leaned over him with a smile on his face, waving his hand again until Silver grasped it. The blue hedgehog pulled him to his feet and pat him on the back with a small laugh.

“Next time you too spar with each other, I’m definitely tagging in!” he said, his eyes lowering slightly as he glanced over at Shadow. “And I bet I could be a better teacher than you too, Faker!”

The darker hedgehog scoffed and turned his head. “You being patient enough to teach? That would be a sight to see. Besides, why would he want to learn from someone with inferior combat skills?” he said with a sneer, his lips turned up bitterly at the corners. “You have many skills but I haven’t seen anything impressive with your hand-to-hand. If anything, you may need lessons as well.”

From there, the two launched into the familiar round of bickering, attempting to one-up the other with recalled stories and challenges. Silver blinked and shook his head with a small smile before deciding to put a pin in it all.

“I think maybe Shadow is the best teacher for me, Sonic,” he said, rolling his eyes when the blue hedgehog looked at him with a betrayed expression. Quickly, he shook his head and patted the other’s shoulder. “Not that you wouldn’t do great. But…Shadow just…um. Is more…disciplined than you?”

Both hedgehogs blinked and looked at him with a surprised look before Sonic snickered and Shadow turned his head with some words muttered under his breath. The hero threw his arms behind his head and sighed loudly, his grin lowering into a gentle smile as he glanced at Shadow with one eye open. “Yeah, he is, isn’t he?” he remarked, his smile only growing when Shadow began to head towards the door. “You two did great training and I don’t think Shadow’s sparred with anyone else who wasn’t me.”

“Eh? Really?” Silver asked and he turned to watch Shadow’s retreating figure. It actually made sense when he thought about it more. The two have gone toe-to-toe on numerous occasions so aside from enemies, Sonic would be the only person who could keep up with Shadow.

But if that’s the case-

“You sure I wasn’t just a light practice for him? This session didn’t go as a I planned if I’m being honest.”

Sonic rubbed his nose as he began to walk away, turning to watch Silver as he moved backwards. He shook his head playfully and crossed his arms. “Have more confidence in yourself, Silver! The minute you said you wanted to continue, you proved to him that you have what it takes. Just gotta hone your skills more in the way you can,�� he said with a wink. “Don’t limit yourself, bud. You’re stronger than you think in more ways than one.”

Silver blinked and he looked down at his hands, the power running beneath his skin thrumming with excitement. The time-traveler clenched his fists and smiled, his body glowing as he lifted in the air.

Stronger in more ways than one.

That was a good way of looking at it.

[sempiternalmuze]

Hi!! First and foremost, I love your writing!! Don’t know if you’re still up for requests, but I was wondering if you’d be able to do an Eddie x reader where they’re kind of going through a rough patch and she writes silver springs about him? She pitches it to the band for the album and billy is reluctant but everyone agrees bc it’s good. No one knows who the song is about except for Eddie. (Years later they all laugh about it) And then she performs it to him on tour like Stevie nicks did. Super angsty and everyone is like wtf is happening. Ends with fluff!! Somehow lol. I’ve been listening to way too much Fleetwood Mac. Thank you so much!!!

So. Its been approximately...14 months since I wrote. But I was reading my drafts and realized I never posted this one. And I kind of really like it. So take this as a early holiday gift, and enjoy. reblogs and hearts are always appreciated :) - alex

Silver Springs

eddie roundtree/loving x f!reader

description: req! - word count: 2.7k

The hotel room next to yours was so loud. You couldn't keep your eyes closed for more than a few minutes. There was a sudden bang against the wall against the head of your bed. You groaned, sitting up and turning your table lamp on. Eddie was still missing, likely in the other room.

You sighed, head sitting in your hands, arms resting against your knees. It had been getting hard for you, going up each night and performing to a new crowd, just to return to the hotel room and have to wait another two hours for your boyfriend to return to your shared room. And you didn't want to be that girlfriend, the one who was clingy, never wanted him to have fun with the rock lifestyle. And it wouldn't be an issue, if it wasn't for the way he pulled away from you in front of others, the way he had begun avoiding your kisses and compliments.

It left you confused for the moments when he'd kiss you, the way his arms snaked around your body as you two slept, or the way that he place his hand against yours when you and the band sat on the bus.

The door to your room shook, pushed open and allow a disheveled Eddie to waltz in, hand empty beer bottle in his hand. He smiled when he saw you sat up in bed, crawling to your side, hand quick to wipe your hair away from your face, light kisses following suite.

"Hey angel, what're you doing up?" He sighed, attempting to rest his head against your shoulder. You pulled away quickly, standing up from the bed, and walking away.

Eddie felt a pang in his chest, like something hit him deep inside. You stood at the foot of the bed, pacing, trying to carefully put together your thoughts.

"I have a question." Was all that you could muster out before a tears teased at your eyes.

Eddie moved himself to the edge, guiding you by your elbows to face him, standing between his legs. "Anything. What's wrong?" he asked, his hands grasped softly at your chemise dress, fingers travelling between the folds.

You looked to him, face painted in worry and confusion. "Do you love me?"

His eyes met yours, gaze painted with intense questioning. "Why are you even asking me that? Of course, I do."

"Then say it." You whispered.

Silence. Nothing filled the room but the bumps of the other room, and the breathing between you and your lover. He didn't move. His eyes searched rapidly, looking for what, you couldn't tell. You pulled away, taking a step back, his grasp hardly attempting to keep you nearby.

"I think you should go. I'm gonna...I need time." You stared at the ground, eyes tracing the shapes of the carpet. You wouldn't do this front of him. You would not cry, or yell, about any of it. Not now. When his eyes were red and wild, his breath layered with a mask of whiskey and vodka.

Eddie stood up. He rubbed his face, silent. He didn't mean to be. He wanted so desperately to say those three words back to you. To wrap his arms around you and kiss you as long as you'd let him. But he found himself caught, the words like knives scratching against his throat.

He took his leave, grabbing the jacket you'd bought him a few months ago, the first tour stop in Reno, Nevada.

It had caught your eye because of the color of the leather, a dark navy that reflected the light of the shop nicely. Combing the shelf until you found one is his size you picked it up, smoothing the shape over with your hand.

When you climbed on the tour bus Eddie had locked himself in the room farthest back. You knocked, the package wrapped nicely, hidden behind your figure. When he opened it a smile crawled slyly onto his face, arms wrapping around you and pulling you flush against him. He spun you around, closing and relocking the door behind him.

"I missed you," He whispered, head buried in the crook of your neck.

You smiled, pushing him back, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We were together all morning, I've been gone for what, two hours?" You giggled, pulling the package from around you, holding it up to him.

He smiled, hands wrapping around the paper wrapping. He sat next to you, fingers careful to untie the string bow. He pulled the jacket out, fingers digging into the skin of it, eyes twinkling.

"For me, honey?" You nodded, smiling brightly, quite proud of yourself. Eddie wasn't one to show deeper emotions, to get excited for an unexpected gift. You liked doing little things for him like this, it was nice to see him light up.

"Aw baby, I love it. Thank you." He wrapped his arm around your waist, placing a soft kiss at your temple.

Things had seemed so simple, so much warmer and brighter. So why had it changed? He was tender and soft with you, kept you close. And now he couldn't even look you in the eyes as you threw him out.

That night you tossed and turned, unable to decide if you should let tears flow or screams out.

You couldn't sleep tossing and turning over once again to face the patio doors. The moon was bright that night, lighting up your room, reflecting off the pool. You took a deep breath, thinking against the soft sheets, words beginning to form in your mind. You sat up, turning up your lamp, pulling your tattered journal from the drawer.

The next morning you were up bright and early. You did your hair, your makeup, putting up your best jeans. You strode out of the hotel with confidence, making your way down to the studio. No doubt the only ones that would be there would be Billy and Camilla, maybe a sudden appearance from Warren. You could only hope Eddie would be too hungover to show up.

When you pushed the door open you caught a glimpse of Camilla, foot tapping to the beat the Warren and Graham were hammering out. You smiled, walking over to her. She saw you, immediately stretching her arms out to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

"How're you doin sweetie?" She whispered, taking your hands into her own.

"I'm okay. I just wish things were different. Or that I could read his mind."

"Don't we all." She laughed. "Billy's in the back. I don't think Eddie's coming in till about three."

You nodded, making your way through the back doors and beelining straight to the tall Dunne brother.

"I have a song and I want to record it."

He glanced up, his fingers resting against the guitar neck. "What?"

"I wrote something last night, and I want to record it, and put it on the album."

"Thats not how that works. Daisy and I already have songs figured out." Warren, Graham, and Karen walked over. Karen wrapped an arm around you, taking the book from your hands. She turned to the mark page, tapping her foot along to the few notes you'd scratched over the page.

"Billy, this is pretty good. I love it." She smiled, handing the books off to the three boys, each taking their time reading the words.

"Didn't know you had all this in you." Warren laughed.

"Well either way, Eddie and Daisy won't be back until later, so it's not like we're going to get anything done today anyway." Billy smiled, standing up.

"Let her record it baby!" The intercom squealed out. All of you turned to the window, a grinning Camilla giving a thumbs up. You turned back to Billy, eyes pleading with him.

He looked down at you, jaw clenched. "Alright," he sighed. "But we're not using more than two hours on this!"

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

The next night was a show. You sat on the bus, playing with the loose strings the hung from your blue shawl. Your skirt had long been picked clean of its bedazzlements, and your anxiety was through the roof. Eddie and you had managed to avoid one another for the last two days, but now he sat across from you, taking turns staring at his hands then back at the floor of the tour bus. Not a word shared between you.

When Teddy called everyone off you rushed away, sticking close to Daisy's side, thanking her for letting you take the last show of the night. She giggled, squeezing your hand.

"Not a problem. Show him what he's missing." She winked, bumping her hips against yours.

The set played amazing. the crowd was electric, full of life, singing the words back to Billy and Daisy.

Billy finished the ending of 'Please' then turned to you. You nodded, placing your guitar in its stand.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, you guys have an extra special performance tonight." The crowd cheered loudly; your ear's ringing as you removed your earpiece. "Tonight, you'll be hearing from someone a little different. Give it up!" He screamed into the mic, doing a dramatic wave with his hand towards you.

The crowd cheered louder as you got closer to the mic. You smiled and waved, giving a small bow towards them.

"Hey everyone! Alright so I asked Billy if I could sing this little song I wrote. It's called 'Silver Springs', something new for you all." You laughed, the crowed giving you another round of applause and claps.

"I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I do." You smiled. From behind your figure, you could feel Eddie's gaze. Eddie was shocked, caught off guard as you riled up the crowd. He smiled but was quick to look down.

He'd been beating himself up for the past two days, sitting, reflecting on the way he'd hurt you. He wanted so desperately to tell you he loved you back. And he did, truly, from the bottom of his heart. Since the day he'd seen you in the crowd at The Six's second show, and you'd let him buy you a drink. Part of him wanted to blame it on the way he had seen his own parents live, one ignoring the other at all times. Another thought was because of the way he had lived life with Camilla, unable to have her until it was too late.

But that wasn't fair to you. Not when you had treated him like the only boy in the world. The nights where you'd hold him close, let him breathe you in, wrap your fingers around his own, squeeze his hand before a night on stage. And for two days he wrestled with his head, until he finally realized: there was no justification. He had to take the lead, say sorry, and tell you exactly what he felt.

Karen started the soft melody of your song, taking the time to get the beat just right. No one had told Eddie anything about the song, when he showed up to the studio Billy handed him his music and told him to play. So he knew what to do. But he had no idea what you had planned.

The others joined in, taking their parts in stride. You took a deep breath, tapping your foot to the beat, letting the words fall out, just as you had practiced.

"You could be my silver spring, blue green colors flashing...

I would be your only dream, your shining autumn, ocean crashing..."

You carried on, taking the time to breath and calm yourself at the moments when it felt like you were choking on nothing. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, not yet, despite feeling the eyes drilling into you to your left.

Until you reached the chorus. You gripped the microphone, removing it from the stand and turned to your left. He was watching you, the wind blowing against his hair so gently, eyes watching your movements, his hands gripping his guitar, his knees jerking to the beat of the music.

"Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me..." Eddie's face twisted, he glanced away for a moment, looking back to the others, before he turned back to you.

You took a step, then another, drifting towards him, "I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me..."

The band took up the rest of the backup vocals, as you sang along, leaning towards Eddie. You couldn't help it. And he did the same to you, playing the chords of his guitar, fingers aching as you sang, your hair flying crazy in the wind. The crowd cheered, and band looked at one another, confused, slowly clicking the pieces into place.

"Oh, was I such a fool?" You shook your head, pulling back, turning back to the crowd as your voice broke. You recovered, "I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice can haunt you..."

The song fizzled out, the crowd cheering and clapping as you pulled away from the microphone, breathing heavily. A hand came to your shoulder, and you flipped around to find Daisy, smiling, he eyes searching your face.

You nodded, assuring her that you were okay, and she took the mic, announcing your name as the crowd went wild. You walked off the stage, not wanting to stick around for much longer. You tore off your ear piece, handing it to stage crew, then ran out to the tour bus. The crowd was so loud that the bus's walls hardly blocked them out. You went to the farthest cabin, shutting the door. Your make up was running no doubt, your hands were still shaking.

A soft knock pulled you back down to Earth. "I'm fine Camilla, really." You wiped your face, rolling your eyes at the smudged sparkles that decorated your hand.

"It's me." You stopped. Now you wished it was Camilla. "Please open the door baby." The voice was muffled, but it was undeniable. You swallowed your pride.

You opened the door, looking up at the man that stood on the other side. His eyes were wild, his breathing hard. He looked down at you. His hand reached up to your cheek, calloused fingers wiping it clean. You leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as you took in his heat.

"I'm so sorry-" His voice cracked, and you opened your eyes to find him tearing up, his eyes softer. He feel to his knees, hands gripping your hips, fingers bunching up your skirt. His head pressed against your middle, and you couldn't help by run your fingers through his hair, shaggy golden brown strands shaking as he let out small sniffles. He looked up at you then, his eyes red, pleading and desperate.

"I love you. I love you with everything that I am and everything I hope to be. I would give it all up tomorrow, or work myself to death for you, you would only need to say that words." He stood up then, his hands reaching for your face, holding you softly. "I'm an idiot. I don't know why I couldn't say it before, but I will spend everyday making up for it, for the rest of time, if you let me."

You smiled, a soft one, that barely crinkled your eyes. "You are an idiot." He broke a smile at that one, laughing as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your body flush against his own.

"I'm so sorry baby." He said again, quieter this time, whispering so only you could hear it. Because you hearing it was all that mattered to him.

You nodded. "I love you Eddie. And I want us to work. I want my life with you. But I need more. I want your hands all over me, everywhere we go. I want you to run off stage and for you to let me kiss you even when your groupies are hanging over the whole tour bus." He chuckled, his chest vibrating against yours.

"Those groupies don't mean shit. Not when I've got the prettiest girl in the room." He smiled crookedly, leaning down to catch your lips in a delicate kiss, breathing you in.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

[mego42]

fav lines tag

RULES: share your favorite sentence/paragraph from each one of your fics and tag 6 other fic writers to do it too :)

tagged by the talented brilliant incredible @foxmagpie (💖)

tagging: @pynkhues @hypermania @bethsuglywigs @riosnecktattoo @missmaxime @sothischickshe @joeyjoeylee

some ground rules: I’m only doing brio fic bc at some point when I wasn’t paying attention I wrote a metric fuckton of it and we’re already gonna be here all day bc my other ground rule is I’m allowed to interpret the concept of a line however i want. i’m also gonna tell you why i picked them bc no one can stop me. cool? cool. good talk. 

your monster looks like mine

okay so my first choice for fav would be the entire ~conversation around whether or not beth had a choice when she set rio up bc oooof I just love how that came out so! much! BUT if I’m limiting myself to something closer to a line, I’m going with this one. i love what it establishes for rio’s emotional state when it comes to beth, i love how it captures their push/pull constant one upping battle, I love the rhythm of the flow of it and the grandiose verbiage (i was having a frankly unreasonable amount of fun with natural phenomena imagery throughout the whole fic and this captures a bit of it). idk I just think it’s neat.

The words rip through him, a bright, blazing comet trail whipped across his sky, illuminatin’ his landscape, impossible to ignore.

Elizabeth’s spread out on the bed below him, golden hair tumblin’ around her face, mouth red and swollen, lookin’ up at him like she’s got him. Like she’s figured some shit out. Like she fuckin’ did something by putting that together.

Like Rio doesn’t fuckin’ know. Like that doesn’t fuckin’ haunt him, torment him, mock him every time she pulls some of her bullshit and he’s left picking up the pieces, knowin’ damn well what the right answer is but also knowin’ he’s always gonna be wrong when it comes to her.

--

a song inside the halls of the dark

another one where I’d pick a whole scene if I could BUT if  the whole opening flashback isn’t on the table (idk I love it for 14,000 reasons including how it sets up the bookend structure for the chapter, how it sets up a bunch of the final payoffs, the tone of it, idk everything about it came out exactly how I wanted it to and I really love how it tees up the ending), then I’m going with this bit from the final brio scene. it ties back in a whole bunch of threads that have been woven in and out all the way back to the first chapter and closes them out in a way that also feels (to me) like a beginning which I love bc the whole theme of the chapter is it’s a beginning, not the end.

What does it mean then, that he’s slept so soundly beside her?

The playhouse glows softly. She wonders how many more times she can get away with sanding it before it weakens past the point of supporting the kids’ weight and the whole thing collapses.

Behind it, she can see the long shadow it casts reaching for the boxwoods bordering the yard. The lines of the structure frame windows of bright moonlight on the grass, eerily reminiscent of the windows that loomed large in the nightmares Beth abruptly realizes she hasn’t had in weeks. Not since that last night at Rio’s loft. And that’d been the last one since...his car. Canada. The night all of this started.

Beth blinks. What does it mean that she’s slept so soundly beside him?

A-live, alive, alive, I—

Her breath catches.

—

pills’n’potions

I don’t have any grand reasoning for why I picked this bit from the 4th (i think?) ~ch as my fav, I just really like writing annie and rio interacting and I especially love writing them with annie like, intellectually aware that she should probably be afraid of him but also spiritually incapable of not being herself and rio being wildly annoyed by it

"What?" He asks, giving the t an edge sharp enough to cut.

There's a pause. "What like you didn't hear me, or what like what do I want?"

[...]

"Hello?"

Now the sister sounds like she's getting annoyed, and Rio's really gotta do somethin' about the two of them runnin' 'round actin' like he's someone they can get away with not takin' seriously. Like he's some sort of pet. Defanged. Declawed. Fuckin' neutered.

"Get to the point."

"I mean, I kind of did in the message."

—

trade my heart for honey

the only thing sexier than rio being good at pool is beth being a fucking shark and rio being out of control turned on by it.

Dropping all pretense at being less than she is, Beth grabs the cue ball, positioning it slightly to the left of center where the felt is slightly more worn. Even without the tell, she's seen Rio put it there enough times to know it's the table's sweet spot. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rio shift his weight before she tunes him out entirely, drawing the stick back and letting it fly.

It's as close to a perfect break as she's probably ever managed. The cue ball connects dead on, scattering the rest far and wide. The one and the six drop neatly into pockets, the four and five coming to a stop right on the edge of the left side and far left corner, nearly closing off that whole side of the table.

Every stripe remains in play.

"Solids," she says, not letting herself dwell on the way Rio's mouth hangs slightly open, his eyes glazed over.

—

swaying evergreens

the whole theme of this fic is the terrifying intimacy and vulnerability of sharing your most precious moments and memories with someone you care about and I like how this touches on that along with sort of nutshelling the double edged sword of grief-tinted memory which is another major theme

There's somethin' extra about these unguarded moments. That Elizabeth trusts Rio enough to drop her guard completely and give him this completely unvarnished look at her. It's been over a year since he's been back in her bed, since the first time he'd slept here, but there's still somethin' tentative about it. Like there's a part of him that's never going to be all the way over the first time he'd been here, that can't fully believe how far they've come, that this isn't going to crumble, melt, drain away.

Truthfully, Rio doesn't mind it, that faint edge. He's well acquainted with the different flavors of loss, and the threat of it's a counterpoint that keeps him sharp. Lets him know this is real but not somethin' he'll take for granted.

—

swear on a silver knife

there were a couple of sexy tension bits that made for strong contenders but ultimately this won bc I’m obsessed with how this reference to 306 came out.

“I told you. I got my own debts to pay.” He bit off the words like it cost him something to repeat them.

Beth shivered, abruptly right back at that picnic table, cheeks wet and staring at him, searching for any hint of the man she’d—she’d—anyone besides the cold, unfeeling stranger sitting beside her, blood so fresh on his hands she could nearly smell it underneath the scent of the cold, misty night rain falling around them, blurring her eyes, beading in her hair and on his eyelashes.

—

listening through the air shaft

this was a really hard one to narrow down but I ultimately went with this but bc I love it for a culminating look at how beth and rio’s relationship has evolved throughout the fic and also bc a version of this scene was the first thing I wrote for the whole fic so it was fun to finally get there with everything in place behind it. I also just love it as a reference for the dichotomy of both beth and rio and also how complicated that is makes being around them for everyone else

They aren't even doing anything, just quietly working side by side, but there's a synchronicity to their movements, a quiet peace that makes Dean feel more like an intruder than anything else that's happened today, and he hates it.

It’s so far from the guy that’d broken into his home, beaten him up. Who’d looked at him with those terrifying, blank, shark eyes before casually shooting him in the chest like it was nothing right where they’re about to sit down and share a meal.

A guy, Dean suddenly realizes, he hasn’t seen any hint of in a long, long time. It’s not that he doesn’t think that part of him isn’t there, it’s just...it’s weird, is all, how completely he puts it away.

It reminds Dean of Beth, actually, now that he’s thinking about it.

God. They look so...so domestic. Sweet. Disarming in a way that completely undermines everything Dean thought he'd known about the guy and their whole...thing.  

He just—he doesn't get it, what Beth sees in him.

—

now use both hands

idk I just like this bit let me live

"What are you—what service?"

He makes himself take the route through the showroom that brings him right past her, leaning in and softly brushing a lock of hair out of her face for the first time in longer than he can remember.

Her eyes flutter shut, and he feels absolutely nothing.

"Helping sad, lonely housewives get off once their husbands are done with them."

Her eyes snap open, and he makes himself look at her long enough to watch the hit land and the hurt bloom.

He's empty, untouchable, she's nothing to him.

Rio doesn't look back.

—

I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA!

you can take my made up backstory for rio and mick from me when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

Mick had been there the first time Rio'd had to get his hands all the way dirty and had kept an eye on him when he'd gotten blackout drunk after, and Rio'd done the same for him. Every bloody, grimy step Rio'd climbed, Mick had been right there with him, watching his back all the way to the top.

The point is Rio's Mick's brother in every way that counts.

Mick'd seen him twisted up over business and twisted up over personal shit, but he's never seen him let both get twisted up like he had since that fuckin' weasel Boomer'd got his ass handed to him and Rio'd gotten curious about it.

—

as the world turns, the blunt burns

I pull this every time I have to pick a fav and I can’t even really explain it aside from I think I’m really, really funny and that’s enough

Beth suddenly sobers as much as she can when she feels like she's simultaneously floating away and sinking into the Earth and wipes her eyes. "Are you gonna get in trouble?"

"You're in the house, ain't you?" He's answering Beth but looking at Rio.

"Mick," Beth frantically tugs at his pant leg because apparently, he doesn't have all of the information. "We're in the yard."

"Yeah, Mick," Rio says, glaring. "You're in the yard."

Mick shrugs, and Beth realizes he isn't scared of Rio at all. That's a neat trick. How does he do that? Maybe he can teach her.

—

smoke, fire, it’s all going up

there are realistically many other better lines in this fic but this one never fails to make me laugh so it remains my fav.

"You- you-" She sputters at him, flailing around a little. "You were the one that started mailing me pieces of a dead body."

"You blocked my number." Rio snarls, which is not what he'd meant to say, and he hates that she trips him up.

"That is not a proportionate response!"

—

got a kiss (with your name on it)

it was this or the text exchange at the beginning of the fic bc I strongly believe established relationship brio would continually roast each other for their past dumbassery but the elizabeth kink won out

"Come here," Rio's voice is thick but insistent in a way that brings every cell of Beth's body to attention. She hooks her thumb over her bottom teeth and drags her lower lip a little, a gesture full of who me mock innocence, waiting for him to say-

"Elizabeth." There it is.

There's an endless amount of things that Beth finds ferociously, irresistibly sexy about Rio, but when he says her full name in that commanding tone? Even if she's pissed the fuck off and has no intention of doing what he wants, it gives her goosebumps.

—

say it’s all in my head (i remember what you said)

I will be real with y’all, I forget I wrote this fic a lot of the time hahahaha but! that means every time I’m reminded I go back and am like oh yeah! I like this! anyway there isn’t like, one specific but I really love most as much as I really like the tentative breathless nervousness and then also overwhelming so muchness and I like how this but captures both of those

For a single, breathless moment, she stands in the middle of the room, alone and terrified.

Then Rio wets his lips and comes towards her, moving with that languid grace she's never been able to look away from even before she had any idea why that could be.

All of the fear collapses like a dying star, sending a supernova of relief and molten heat zinging through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her head swims, and every cell in her body feels like it's leaning towards him- like she's made of magnets on a molecular level and he's the lodestone.

He gently pushes her bangs off of her forehead, slowly running his fingertip down the side of her face, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He tilts his head towards hers and stops, going no further than halfway, leaving it up to her to close the distance.

She lets her eyes fall shut as she leans into him and tentatively touches her mouth to his for the first time.

—

the world is on fire (and no one can save me) / what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way)

two for one!!! idk if either of these is my number one favorite line from either fic individually but I really like how they both play together. I like writing beth and rio pov and having them mirror each other’s narration both in thought and structure a lot bc I like thinking of them as two versions of the same

Beth checks her phone, nothing from Rhea, and sends a quick I'm here, text me when you're close, and I'll grab a table before wetting a paper towel and wiping away the last of her smeared mascara. With precise, brisk movements, she snaps open her bag and fishes out her compact, her lipstick, and her mascara; lining them up click, click, click on the tiny shelf below the mirror.

She can live with this; she has to live like this; she will live like this.

She flips open the compact and methodically dabs away the flush and pallor and shadows that are not grief, are not loss, are not anything other than shock and horror that she'd gone so far, that she'd lost control, that she'd killed a man (that man).

and

So what the fuck had he been doin' with Elizabeth fuckin' Boland, giving her chance after chance to cross the line? What the fuck was the point of a line if it might as well not be there at all? All because he liked her big blue eyes and the way she worked a tight sweater? Nah, that ain't him. That can't be him. That's the kind of shit that'll get you killed, and he's got three spent bullets in his pocket and a scar next to his heart if he ever needs the reminder again. 

He shifts in the driver's seat, reaching into his pocket and fishing the bullets out. Lining them up on the dashboard with a definitive click, click, click. He looks past them to the brightly lit valet station. He's been parked in the back of the lot for ten minutes now, waiting for Rhea to give him the go sign. He ain't hiding, doesn't need to, Elizabeth ain't lookin' for him, he just wants to make sure he sees her before she sees him. Get a good look first, so he can size up the situation.

[solange-lol]

hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?

Anonymous said to solange-lol:

Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!

rec list #1 | rec list #2

all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!

technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while

rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots

Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink

personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)

Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink

we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it

Actors by @buoyantsaturn

i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope

start of something new by jinniefic

if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan

paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick

the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)

Sunflower by ChiseHatori

3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books

Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld

marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it

let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl

this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)

The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo

naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!

forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook

when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter

They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend

will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up

“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink

i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo

the night we met by peachyytomlinson

a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man

“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn

call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed

femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean

its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah

Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)

we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it

everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it

when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend

pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 

Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This

so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)

all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn

i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)

Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn

oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 

Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn

stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.

The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld

secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it

So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn

will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition

no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!

reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)

i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)

“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink

overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)

Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 

more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!

Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)

i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon

The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess

i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)

and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration

who is he (and what is he to you?)

just doing my silly little tasks

i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect

truly, madly, deeply

[arimendoza]

to the anon who asked this: It’s loving cedric diggory hours in my brain so I’d love to read you venting your headcanons about him?? What do you think about his childhood and family and friends and what happened to them after (because Cursed Child isn’t canon)

tumblr deleted ur ask RIGHT as i posted it and im so sorry i hope u still see this bc i love it so much thank u for giving me an excuse to write about my favorite character :(((

i have a lot of feelings about cedric diggory

------------

it’s always been one of my biggest headcanons that cedric is a slytherin secondary

we see him as being kind. he is kind. and good. and brave. but he’s also ambitious, driven, resourceful. cedric diggory is a strong leader. but his determination is a double-edged sword, and his ambition can become ruthless:

"i thought you were gonna let it get me." / "for a second there i thought the same."

so kind, yet with this underlying, almost desperate self preservation and ambition that he might not even realize isn't his 

“he could have been anything.” but what does that mean? what did he want? or was he too busy thinking of what everyone else wanted?

because this is cedric diggory as we see him: composed, polite, the ideal and ultimate gentleman. intelligent, compassionate, reliable. powerful, intuitive, handsome. perfect.

but imagine, just imagine the intense pressure, the expectations, the constant delivery he feels he owes to people who perceive him as all those things, and then some.

this is largely because of how i see him growing up

amos diggory was nothing if not proud. so he did everything to transfer all that pride onto his only son:

private tutoring, gruelling flying lessons (all theory of course, though as soon as his father deemed him old enough, tested his natural instinct on a broom), and limited free time made for a clever boy, if not a lonely one

he didn’t see anyone outside of his immediate family much. they preferred to keep to themselves.

but he definitely saw all the other kids outside his bedroom window, laughing and playing and so free. sometimes he thinks about asking his dad if he could join them

but he can see the disappointed shake of the head, hear the “you were made for better things, my boy. greater things than playing pretend.”

and his mother, for all her kindness, he could never bring himself to ask. she never expressed direct expectations the way his father did. but cedric was clever. she didn’t have to say it out loud for him to know.

so he works. and perseveres. quietly and alone, until he goes to hogwarts

growing up, he wonders if perhaps playing pretend was all he was ever good at

he pretends his father is proud of him being sorted into hufflepuff

the letter he received was not scathing, but just had enough subtle disappointment in it that it crushed him.

he didn’t tell his father he was a hatstall. that he chose hufflepuff, in the end. in a way

“you’d do well in any house, you know. be anyone.” the hat had said

i just want to be myself. 

“oh my dear boy. you don’t even know who that is yet”

he pretends he wants to be a Seeker.

also a fairly popular headcanon, but i do think cedric was aware he was not made to be one because of how he’s built, but did it because “Seekers get all the glory, son. and it’s always worth the glory, isn’t it?”

he becomes Seeker. he’s praised for his fast swerves. he tells no one how much pain it gives him to execute them. he practices day and night anyway

he becomes captain. it should make him happy, and he is. it makes his dad proud too, but his shoulders sag just a little lower as another weight is placed on them

he pretends he doesn’t care for art (“it’s silly, son. there are better things, more practical things.”)

but cedric loves poetry, the abstract. it’s why his favorite and best subject is charms

he meets a ravenclaw boy who likes to write poetry as well. they bumped into each other in the library in what was both their ‘favorite spot’

he plays quidditch too, thinks he has a shot at captain

cedric diggory and roger davies became fast friends

two sides of the same coin, really. handsome, intelligent, athletic. but a bit lonely, reserved. their silence is taken for cockiness, sometimes

the main difference? roger doesn’t much care for other people’s opinions. it’s where he and cedric clash, where most of their arguments stem from. but they do help each other grow because of it

he pretends he doesn’t need friends, but makes them anyway

his father always stressed the importance of good connections, for networking and all that. and even from a young age it was clear that cedric was charming. a natural silver-tongue. he could probably make people fall at his feet, should he have wanted.

but as much as cedric cared about his own reputation, he never much cared for status, and always saw the good in others. or tried to, at least

so he and roger became close. roger introduced him to cho chang. she was pretty, also reserved, also liked quidditch. seeker

he also grew close to hecate oakham and bhavana patel from his house. hecate was often alone, in her own head. she gave cedric fresh perspective and listened, always. he did his best to do the same.

bhavana liked spending time in the greenhouse. it’s also one of cedric’s go-to places to think, clear his head.

his father thought he could perhaps do better. cedric thinks he’s struck gold.

cedric loved his friends so much, and he thought then that this is the closest he’s ever felt to understanding, and being understood

although he could never fully drop the facade in front of them, he let them see him at his worst: his disappointment, his anger (when cedric is angry, he doesn’t show it, preferring to repress and then possibly write it out later. but when he’s angry, he’s angry, piercing. ruthless and relentless, words coming out in passionate outbursts, as if the air was crackling around him from wild magic. people would have called it uncharacteristic of him, but did they ever really know him well enough to think so?)

still, he would say these were the best friends he’s ever had. the best time he’s ever had. he was happy

and then he meets harry, properly, and he’s both elated and so, so afraid. he pretends it doesn’t matter.

(he pretends he wasn’t absolutely hit with guilt after winning that one match. first, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. second, because people think he didn’t deserve it. that on any other day, his hard work would never amount to anything next to natural talent. third, because even after all of this, a part of him was still glad he ended up catching the snitch)

(he pretends he didn’t ask to see harry when he was at the hospital wing after that disastrous match with the dementors either)

he pretends he’s fearless. that he wants to join the tournament

he’s already a prefect. quidditch captain, on the way to head boy. why not eternal glory? it’s worth it, isn’t it? everyone thinks he could do it. everyone thinks he could win. everyone thinks he should

“you don’t have to, ced.” roger says. 

“no, i do.”

he hopes the goblet doesn’t spew out his name. it does. he smiles, goes up. takes his place.

“good luck.” roger yells at him, concern in his eyes

he pretends he doesn’t know what their exchange really means

“dragons. that’s the first task.” i’m worried about you

“why are you telling me this?” worry about yourself, too

harry moves to leave. cedric pulls him back. harry stares at his hand. is this when you ask? 

“the badges. i’ve asked them not to wear them.” are you okay? i care about you.

“don’t worry about it.” i guess not. but thank you. 

he and cho pretend they want to go to the ball together

his father, of course, is elated. pretty, smart, athletic, from a good family.

she stares wistfully at hermione granger throughout the entire champions’ dance

cedric catches harry’s eye. it was like a million snitches were whizzing around in his stomach. not like how it was with roger, at first. this was so much stronger.

he pretends he tells harry about the egg only because it’s good sportsmanship. but harry is done pretending.

when cedric goes to congratulate him for tying for first place, harry kisses him

roger smiles knowingly when he he sees cedric at the library, absolutely beaming

but there was still that part of cedric, that voice in his head that tells him he’ll ruin it, that he doesn’t deserve it. it asks him, worst of all, will you still be happy, even with your father’s disappointment? 

so when does cedric diggory not pretend?

when he writes, and shares his writing with his friends

when he laughs so hard he snorts

when he’s flying. not for quidditch, but for fun

when he kisses harry back

when he says ‘together.’

when he tells harry to stay back

(he pretends he was ready to die)

so this is cedric diggory as we deserve to have known him: flawed and good. imperfect and kind. conflicted and brave

he could have been anything, but we didn’t see him live long enough for even him to figure out what it was he really wanted to be, who he wanted to be. 

the only comfort we have is, in his final weeks, those final moments, he could tell himself he was finally, finally proud of the person he was becoming 

he hopes history will think the same

BONUS:

roger, cho, hecate, bhavana, and of course harry mourned him. quietly, but together

roger

his first real friend. his best friend. he saw cedric the most, physically and emotionally. he thought maybe one day he’d get to see all of him, his flaws and his grievances and his silliness. he’d like to think so. he will never know, now.

people thought he’d honor cedric through quidditch, or something of the sort.

he wrote instead. he wrote for himself, for cedric. eternalized through writing.

every year he’d write something for cedric’s birthday, go to his grave and read it out to him

he’s scared of the day he runs out of memories. wishes they could still make more.

but as he tells cedric of his life now, his hardships and his triumphs and how much he misses him, he thinks he’s doing his best.

in this own, sad way, cedric is still with him. this is how they will make memories.

cho

cho cries, has a hard time sleeping. dark circles, bloodshot eyes, his death affects her the most physically.  she ignores the whispers, the confused stares at her emotional turmoil. but she has always been confident with her feelings, saw no shame in expressing them.

her performance falls in quidditch.

she remembers Seeking matches with him and later with harry, the way they’d laugh and how bright cedric’s smile had been

flying hadn’t been the same since. she hopes one day it will be.

next to roger, she visits cedric the most.

hecate

no one besides their circle of friends knew it, but cedric diggory was clumsy

she remembers the way he bumped into her when he was walking through the grounds, realizing he tripped over his robe

sorry he had said. i was lost in thought 

he looked like he had a lot on his mind then, as if he expected her to laugh at him.

funny, she had replied. i’m quite the same. are you headed to the lake?

and she remembers them sitting there. in comfortable silence, in easy conversation.

now she sits alone, cries silent tears, watches them run and spill and imagines them to merge with the lake

bhavana

cedric was knowledgeable about plants, but his skill at taking care of them was...questionable

she caught him, in the greenhouse, monologuing to himself

she remembered him stopping abruptly, coughing shyly. but she only laughed, said your secret’s safe with me

so she plants in memory of him, watches them grow and bloom the way he never can, now, treats them with the utmost care she wishes others had with him

harry

harry stays angry for a long time

the nightmares come every night, except this time, he doesn’t wake up in cedric’s arms

he couldn’t bring himself to visit his grave. not yet. he doesn’t know when yet, or if he ever could.

cedric diggory is harry’s first real loss.

he could have saved him. if he had never let cedric take the cup, if he had recognized the place faster, if he just got cedric to not move forward for the sake of his protection. 

this was harry’s new everyday, the what ifs running through his mind at every waking moment. and sometimes he hears a laugh, sees the way someone’s smile is crooked, a snippet of a song and everything is familiar and foreign and he aches and aches. and his heart breaks a little more

and it wasn’t love, not yet. but harry remembers the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled and laughed and played and kissed and were

it could have been love, and harry wonders if he’ll ever feel that way again

so he forms the DA, in cedric’s memory. meets with roger and cho and hecate and bhavana. they all stare at cedric’s picture in the room. haunted

and harry strives to do better. to be better.

(“who’s cedric? your boyfriend?” he was)

amos diggory mourned loudly. part of him resented harry, but only because the other part of him couldn’t help but think all of this was his fault, and his fault alone

if he pressured his son a little less, let him live as he wanted, and love as he wanted

if he spent more time with cedric

if he said the words “i love you” more often, told him “i am proud of you, always.”

 but he tells himself cedric must know. cedric had to have known

he doesn’t speak to cedric’s friends. tries to forget about harry potter

a hollow shell of a man, mourning for a son he never really knew.

he hopes history will treat cedric kinder than he ever did.

[reachfolk]

1-5 for the character development questions for Alexandria!

💛 from @korvanjund

this took forever to write cause of course i had waY too much to say omfl, but it was super fun!! tysm for the ask darlin <3

what (or who) would your character die for? live for?

family, family, family!! literally everything for alexi goes back to family. she may be on bad terms with her father's side (understatement of the century, but that's for question 3 lmao), but she would do literally anything for her siblings. protecting them is the main reason she's willing to overcome every fear in her fight against alduin. of course, she's also just as close with her aunt ursula. and she may have... a complicated relationship with her mother and father, she loves them and would do anything to keep them safe.

as for what she'd die for, she's just as dedicated to the cause of freeing the reach from nord control as most reachfolk. it's largely because she sees the reachfolk as an extension of her family. the reach is her home and she's so unabashedly proud of that. granted, she isn't as extreme in her views as the forsworn, but we're not gonna get into the highkey racism in the way bethesda wrote that whole faction lmao.

who (or what) does your character love most in the world? why?

this is such a hard question to answer cause like *slaps roof of alexi* this sweet girl can fit so much love in her. if she like, absolutely HAD to pick a handful of people, it would be her siblings (no, she couldn't pick between them even with a gun to her head, and tbh neither could they). i could literally go on for HOURS about her siblings and why they're all so close, but the tldr is that they're really the only people in the world that Get her. their social standing has always been in a really precarious place given how drastically different their mother and father's backgrounds are, and so they never particularly fit in with most kids from their social class. but they also didn't get very much of a chance to connect with their reachfolk heritage. i won't go so far as to call them outcasts, but they were definitely seen as... different, and there weren't many opportunities for them to feel like normal kids except for when they were with each other. but the other people alexandria is closest to are her aunt ursula, bothela (vanilla npc, the lady who runs the hag's cure), and ophelia from her coven.

that covers it for people, but the thing she loves most in the world is easily alchemy! it literally shows in every part of her mannerisms and shapes the whole way she looks at the world. a huge part of why she's so connected to namira is because she's so drawn to even the most grotesque things in the world, because there's opportunity in all of them to create something new and helpful. it's why she got so close to bothela, bc she's the one that trained alexi in alchemy since she was a kid.

who (or what) does your character hate most in the world? why?

this is ironic considering the first question but literally it's her uncles, thonar and thongvor silver-blood lol. i'm sure anyone who's been in markarth knows that they aren't exactly stand up dudes, but after the whole issue with the forsworn conspiracy came out, she probably had to be physically restrained by her companions to keep her from killing them then and there. she spent a huge part of her childhood knowing there was a target on her back and the backs of her parents and siblings, because there's nothing thonar and thongvor want more than to get rid of them entirely. despite the fact that she had such a fancy upbringing, her uncles were the reason none of them were ever given a real chance to rest. and then there's sooo much to say about how that exacerbated isobel's anxiety issues, which all of her kids including alexi later inherited. alexi literally carries that pain in her genes and she's never been able to get away from it no matter how hard she's tried.

again, this is one of those things i could talk about for ages, so if u wanna hear about one of the many times her uncles actively made an attempt on the lives of her parents and siblings, feel free to send me an ask abt it i'll happily tell u everything. there's like a 30k fic idea there but i have the gist of it all written in my drafts lol.

on top of all of that, she definitely has a LOT of issues with everything they do in the reach. like, ulfric stormcloak gets an honorary mention for this question, and the fact that they support him sure as fuck doesn't help. and considering the fact that she's been sent to cidhna mine and often helped out in the warrens, she's seen the worst of what the silver-bloods did to her people.

what is your character's main goal? does this goal change, or does it remain consistent throughout the story?

tbh this one is also hard to answer bc the game devs of bethesda are COWARDS and they didn't give us this option in the game even though all the pieces were there, but i feel like alexi would almost inevitably join the rebellion to liberate the reach. when she left home, she was still trying to make sense of things, and she just needed to put some distance between herself and all the things tearing her in different directions. she'd spent so much of her life trying to placate everyone that she couldn't figure out what her goal is until she was in a place where she didn't have to think about everyone else.

but no matter what, i think all roads lead to home for her. she may have had a strained relationship with the forsworn (esp when madanach was in prison and working for her uncles in secret), but she'd join when madanach is given free reign to control the rebellion as he sees fit rather than have to bend backwards to satisfy thonar. i personally hc that after that, the forsworn's actions are more controlled and they start to operate less like a disjointed faction of bandits and more like, yknow, people fighting for an actual cause. once she rebuilds her faith in the rebellion, she'd definitely join up.

does your character achieve their main goal? if so, does achieving this goal satisfy them?

again, hard to say since there's no in-game way for this to happen bc the devs were weak, BUT in my heart of hearts i like to pretend that there was a proper questline where u join up with madanach and retake the reach. after everything they've been through, i really hope it'll be canon that they finally are able to liberate themselves. i do think alexandria and her siblings would all do their part to help the rebellion, and their auntie was probably a proponent of the forsworn's rule during the great war, so they're in the clear. i'd imagine the situation is more complicated with their parents.

regardless of whether or not the forsworn are ever able to retake the reach, alexi definitely spends most of her life running around skyrim with the hope of fighting against people's prejudices against the reachfolk. (in the verse where she's the ldb) she kind of understands her role as an essential figurehead to the movement and how she's key to earning the nord's respect. i mean, it'd be hard to argue that they're evil savages when one of their own literally saved every single mortal soul on nirn. so, yeah, i think she feels pretty satisfied with that lol

[icharchivist]

first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD  Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen. 

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!!  The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!!  Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH.... 

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that.  AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it! 

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O 

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

[longassr1de]

Best Boy (M)

Pairing: Haechan x fem!reader

Genre: Smut (nc-17!)

Word count: 2,666

Warnings: femdom, spanking, not quite choking but close to it (just once really), oral, a sappy moment, lots of teasing, unprotected sex, cowgirl..kinda, i'm probably forgetting stuff i'm sorry 😔 (i just really wanted to write something and then this drabble practice turned into a monster) oh and also i didn't proofread this yet & yolo wrote it at around 3am so im sorry for this monstrosityㅡ and also y/n is on birth control bc at least take precautions if you're not wrapping it before tapping it kiddos! 🤧

A/N: not to spoil the surprise but technically though it's not stated who it's about until around.. the middle i'd say? but.. it kind of is about a 00 liner so.. if you're uncomfortable with that then please just keep scrolling. thank you. i'm not sure how or why this post happened either but.. here we are yknow? that lil shiet has just been bugging me for awhile now and then a week later this happens im...🥺

A/N ...again: I ended up changing it from mystery member to just being straightforward about it so just.. bear with me until I redo the intro to include more detail. Sorry about that 😰

──────── 〔✿〕 ─────────

"I thought you said you could take it, baby boy?" You look down at your boyfriend who was currently across your lap with a teasing grin, clearly enjoying his predicament.

"I- I-" he tries to interject, helplessly wracking his brain for any sort of rebuttal.

"Did I say you could speak?" The sharp raise of your now arched brow conveys more than your short sentence could have ever delivered. Consequently, you deliver another sharp smack to his bottom, continuing his punishment, which had been brought about by yet another one of his disobedient days. Such a brat, really.

"N-No..." you gently enclose your free hand around his neck, ushering his disobedient behavior back on track once again. "No ma'am!" he whines, cute pout on display as he whines desperately. "I'll be a good boy for you, I swear! Please!"

"Please what, baby boy? Use your words for me," you cooed towards him, almost mockingly.

"Please..." he licks at his bottom lip, jutting his glossing pout on proud display, "please fuck me... use me... anything..." He rasps as you pull him up by the hair to look at you in the eyes, a shaky breath escaping from the depths of his soul as you devour his ethereal presence. How did you ever find someone so beautiful in this realm of reality?

Sending one last spank to his supple bottom, you relish in the way his body both moves towards and away from your palm. "Very well then, my beautiful little brat. On your knees." You've been edging the poor boy for at least an hour now, so really, it's no wonder that he's in position for you before you can even begin counting. "If you behave like a good boy tonight, I might even reward you," your smile angelic, though your eyes are anything but. Deviously, you trace his raging hard-on with the tip of your toes, enjoying the way he shuts his eyes and drops his mouth open at the slimmest glimmer of pleasure he's been allowed. "But if you misbehave again, you're not coming for the next week. Understood?"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" he responds, almost in tears at the thought alone, much less after the arduous teasing he's endured tonight. Before anything, you lean down to kiss his supple lips, licking at his mouth with everything you've got, tangling your fingers in the curly tufts of his beautiful silver hair. Pulling away far too soon for either of your liking, you run your thumbs across his jawline and break from your role to ensure safety above all pleasure.

"Safeword?"

"Cloud." A smirk sent his way as he snaps from his daze. "..ma'am! It's still cloud...ma'am," he stutters out, in fear of further punishment.

"Good boy," you reward his quick fix with a kiss to his forehead before reaching behind you for a ribbon, toying with it as you fixate on whether to tie his hands in front of or behind his body tonight. "Heads or tails, baby boy?"

"Uh.." he tilts his head, not unlike a confused puppy. "Heads, ma'am?" an unsure answer rings out in the silence of your eventful night. You nod silently, working to gently but securely tie his hands in front of his body, just enough so that he can't give himself any pleasure.

Your boyfriend eyes you with a sparkle in his eyes, in awe at how effortlessly you complete the task. Truthfully however, the gleam in his doe eyes was moreso because of just how much he loves you, and how grateful he is for how attentive you are to his needs. You were the one who'd asked to let you dom him initially, but from then on it was him who would insist on it becoming more of a regular thing. He simply couldn't get enough of the confidence you exuded in times like these.

You were his drug, and he needed his fix, so what better way that to get his high through this?

Sensing that his mind had drifted elsewhere as he'd stopped squirming and whining, you look back up into his eyes, not expecting your boyfriend to be staring at you so.. lovingly.

"Penny for your thoughts, baby boy?"

"I love you," he just blurts out, chuckling at himself for a moment before you join him.

"Not sure where this is coming from, but I love you too, darling." Another kiss pressed unto his lips, kissing his smile until it parted to kiss you back. The warmth in your chest despite the filth in your recent actions proof enough that you made the right choice. You don't regret one moment from the moment you fell for your best friend, up until this very night. However, the ache between your thighs had yet to be sated, and as much as you wanted to cave, you figured it could wait until the aftercare (noting to give him twice as many cuddles tonight).

Pulling back with a thin line of spit till connecting you both, your grin turns mischievous once again. "But don't think I've forgotten for a second that you're being punished for your behavior tonight. You thought feeling me up at the restaurant was appropriate? In front of all your friends?"

"N-No ma'am! Not at all.. I'm sorry!" his eyes widen at the realization that his punishment was far from over. "I won't do it again!"

"Not sorry enough, I'll say. And if you ever try that again, I'm tying you to the headboard the entire weekend, understood?" Your boyfriend was so desperate he fell for your bluff, instantly straightening his posture to be the epitome of a "good boy".

"I'll do anything, anything at all.. please ma'am, anything but that!" he begs, hoping to get back on your good side, unknowing that your anger had long since subsided.

"Kiss me and make it all better then, baby boy. Apologize like you mean it," your sultry whisper utter sin upon his ears, sitting entirely undressed just inches away from his body that was screaming with desire. You slowly spread your thighs that had been rubbing up against each other, your slick wetness glistening as his throat feels parched at the sight before him. He blinks himself out of yet another daze, unbelieving that the wondrous angel in front of him is also the devil seducing him to ruin. As he gets closer to your heat, his pants become evident on your skin, making goosebumps arise in their wake.

"Don't tease me, baby, it'll only drag our your punishment," you tease, already locking your digits in his hair once again, anticipating the first touch of his tongue. He looks up at you as he makes contact with your nub, watching as your throw you head back, feeling as you grip his hair a little tighter, pull him a little closer. Humming contentedly, he dives right in to work, licking up your folds and sucking harshly at your clit, internally cursing at his useless arms at such a critical time like this. Instead, he decidedly works at your body with his mouth, working such wonders you were sure the other seven in the world suddenly paled in comparison.

"Ah, yes, just like that! Fuck," you cursed under your breath, raggedly breathing out as you bite at your lip, trying and failing to hold your moans in. Instead, you tighten your thighs around his head, fighting to keep your eyes open, only daring to look after he pulls back to catch his own breath, meeting his dangerous gaze with your shocked one.

Somewhere in the mix, you'd forgotten all about maintaining your strict dominance, instead unknowingly giving him some room to wiggle at the reigns, ever the challenging brat that he was and loved to be. He lived for making you make him submit, for every punishment and for every battle. It was so much fun, watching you get all hot in the face, in more ways than one.

"With all due respect ma'am," he shoots you his signature shit-eating grin from down below, clearly worked up by your reactions, even without the use of his hands, "your moans are absolutely gorgeous." He then sucks at your thighs, leaving many a dark bloom in their wake; he's clearly trying to prove a point now, cheeky almost to the point of cocky in the way he licks at your wetness off his lips. "I may even dare to say you're in for the fuck of your life tonight."

And you're just about to give him hell for his sudden brattiness until he goes right back to work, eating you out like a man starved, leaving you unable to come up with anything more coherent than a mutter of "Oh fuck you, Lee Donghyuck!" To which he simply laughs into your folds, sliding his tongue into your wet heat as you miserably yank at his hair, hoping he would somehow go back to behaving (used lightly, as he never truly behaves, save for when his neediness or the stresses of life sent him into subspace).

An intense orgasm builds up in your core and before you can even warn him, your release hits like a ton of bricks, bringing Donghyuck both closer and farther from your body, relishing in your orgasm yet unsure whether the excess of stimulation was something you could currently handle. You had fallen back onto the bed, unmoving for some time it would seem, as you soon hear the shuffling of feet before feeling a shift on the mattress. As best as he can, your boyfriend rests between your legs, attempting to assess your wellbeing.

"I'm fine, Hyuckie, just... that took a hell of a lot out of me," you chuckle, closing your eyes again to avoid the knowing look on his face. He goes to reach for your face, only to realize he can't, as his hands are still bound. Drawing your attention with a soft whine, you follow his gaze, helping to untie him, pressing loving kissed tenderly at his wrists. "Thank you, baby, you did so well for me."

"Can you take one more?" he prods gently, dying to be inside of you, yet not wanting to push your body past its limits.

"Of course, anything for you baby boy. Youu dessrve the bsst orgsmm after that," your words slur a little, still not over the impact on your body. Donghyuck tries to protest as you lay him down and climb over him, hissing as you sit on his length with little to no prep, taking him entirely by surpise. Not that he minded, he was just terrified he wouldn't last long after a night's worth of teasing, on top of getting front row seats to your hell of a release. Little to his knowledge however, that was exactly what you were counting on, ever since your orgasm took so much out of you that you'd begun to feel rather sleepy.

"I give you full permission baby boy. Fuck me." Your statement once again catches him off guard, as he had been a little preoccupied with how tight your velvet walls felt around his weeping cock.

"W-wait wha- aaahh.." And then it clicks. You weren't planning on riding him at all, you simply wanted the illusion of power from being on top, leaving him to do all the work. Donghyuck was no fool, however, and took the opportunity as quickly as he it came. You'd just barely settled against his chest, relishing in the warm feeling of his hands running down your back before feeling him grab at your ass; shutting his eyes as his head was thrown back in pleasure, fucking up into you almost animalistically from sheer need. He felt your blunt nails almost breaking the skin of his shoulders as he bit down on one of your own, pressing kisses in the aftermath of its mark, whimpering the filthiest of curses and singing the sweetest of praises by your ear.

As Donghyuck fervently fought to reach his own release, you felt yourself begin to race him towards your second. So much for punishment, was all you could think, and though the exhaustion on your body was evident, you simply couldn't bring yourself to complain, not when he was making you feel so fucking good.

"I'm so close, I'm gon... I'm.... ahh," he whined, rutting his hips desperately into your own, "please let me cum ma'am... I've been such a good boy for you... please." Surprised didn't even begin to cover your reaction, as you'd assumed all roles had been thrown out the window the second he'd gotten the green light. Nevertheless, your brain was humming with pride as your body thrummed with pleasure.

"Yes you have, you've been so good tonight, I think you deserve to cum. Let go now, give it to me baby boy," you run your hands through his hair, speaking into his forehead as your lower body continues to bounce from the force of his own humping up into you. "Prove that you're all mine," you mouth at his earlobe, moaning into it just to tease him, "fill me up." The final straw snaps upon your words, Donghyuck babbling utter nonsense as he cums, thick, white spurts of his release coating your walls as you finally clench around him, the feeling of his orgasm launching the onset of your own.

He continues to shallowly thrust up into you until neither one of you can take it anymore, squirming and groaning weakly at the overstimulation. You witness the strength leave your boyfriend's body rather dramatically, the way his eyes comically roll back in his head as your bodies slide down the headboard cause a fit of giggles to escape you. Donghyuck half opens his eyes to look at you, making grabby hands for your face as he grows soft inside you now. Carefully, you raise yourself up his body just enough to raise your cheeks in his sweaty palms, enjoying the gentle caress of his calloused fingertips padding across your features.

With a serious of hushed thank yous, he leans forward just enough to shower you with kisses, prompting you to return the gesture. He slips out of you and you make a face as the mixture of your cum slides down your thighs. Thankfully, you'd forseen your laziness and left a towel on your nightstand, and you reach over for it to clean the both of you up. Donghyuck is currently slipping in and out of sleep when you lay beside him, pulling him onto your chest as his arms wrap around your frame. It's times like this when he's asleep, so pure and unadulterated, that you can't help but adore his natural cuteness.

The supple curve of his lips, the gentle curl of his lashes, even his soft groan as he shifts to find a more comfortable position... all of it has you cooing at how delicate he was despite how tough he loves to pretend to be. If only his friends knew just how big of a baby he was around you, you wonder, how interesting would that conversation be.

Deciding to risk it, you simply can't help but place one last kiss to his forehead, softly rubbing at the base of his neck as he stirs, and you go still. Donghyuck simply buries his face into your neck now, pressing even more of his weight into your own, but all you can bring yourself to do is wrap your own around him, rubbing at his back soothingly. "Good night my beautiful boy, you did so well," his sleepy grin tickles the skin near the junction of your shoulder as he mumbles an unintelligible response, and just like that, he's asleep again in no time as you hum softly in reply.

Donghyuck may not always be the best boy, and me may not even a good boy most nights, but he'll always be your favorite boy, and in the end... that's all that really ever mattered.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

🌻🌻🌻🌻 🚜 it's like a little garden!

hello lil garden <3 im gonna pick all the floweurs :3

there are like two dreams i remember pretty vividly: one, i had stigmata. (fun fact: i’m a jew) i woke up and i could feel the pain in my palms and feet. i was like. maybe in fifth or sixth grade. everything happens when i’m 13 or 14 because i have exactly zero memory and Bad Brain Disorder Origin Years just makes everything a sad mockery of mashed potatoes

the second dream i remember vividly was essentially that i discovered a door to Wonderland (and listen here u lil shits: i’m not a big Wonderland person, not even a Mad Hatter kinda gal despite whatever my past has said about me, and also my Jervis Tetch is super valid and prob one of the best out there you’re welcome) in this honestly gorgeous old mansion. the kind that’s just. tons of dark wood, narrow halls, winding and yet there’s a lot of natural light, like gorgeous. and i found a door to Wonderland and holy fucking shit

what i would give to actually find a door to that Wonderland, bye y’all peace it’s been a gas but i gotta run

so after i left i wanted to go back, and i had a rough time finding the portal and ok long story short it turned out i had to go deal with a unicorn cult (it was more intense than that but hey, cults amirite) in order to get the reagents to go back to Wonderland and i suddenly found myself falling in a huge cave and the spirit healer from WoW was there so that says a lot about where i was in my life at the time

still tryna go back to Wonderland

i made this guy in Sims4 and he’s really fuckin cute and i named him Lane Morgans. i’m gonna put his tag on this post so maybe you’ll go take a look at him and see how amazing he is but i’m just gonna jerk myself off here too

(also sidenote, Salutations (my farmer in sdv, also top notch) is his uncle and when i wrote up his first char sheet i fucked up his last name bc his last name can’t be Morgans, but i’ll give him another one Soon(tm) (no i won’t))

Lane is a retired rollercoaster engineer who is now writing romance novels. he’s doing absolutely amazingly and his twitter a mess in a good way. he wishes he was Chuck Tingle’s bff. his novels aren’t modeled after Tingle’s (hehe), he writes very well rounded, interesting, and diverse romance that doesn’t take itself seriously. because i do what i want, he’s pretty well known and on several bestsellers.

he’s like in his 40s by now i think and he’s a late transitioner. he’s a divorcee (he and his ex wife are really good friends it’s all good) and he had his son Ellis awhile back (who is just a whole dutch cookie tin of crayons and then some). at a singles mixer he met a gardener who would be his future husband and everything is amazing now

also side braids and ponytails run in the family i guess

(actually Salutations has been side ponytail like all his life and Lane was enchanted by it so he side braids. Salutations is very proud)

i still think about it honestly i was really into keeping up to date with junk food news and food product for a while there but the popular sites were starting to piss me off with their rating systems and reviews like holy entitlement and superiority complex, batman! so i dropped out of it, like the only one that is still super valid is onsecondscoop.com tho it’s been a real hot minute since

i have a lot of my parents’ vinyls and that includes The Beatles white album with some water damage bc i guess my dad knocked something over at some point but also the good stuff like Fleetwood Mac, Linda Ronstadt, America, Seals and Crofts, a lot of musicals, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot, Cat Stevens (now Yusuf), Earth, Wind, and Fire, Marvin Gaye and more!!! (and i left a whole shitload in chicago too) and it’s very telling about my musical tastes. 

i had ordered Arctic Monkeys’s AM album and it skipped on No. 1 Party Anthem and some other song and so i was like :\ and ordered another and you’ll never guess,

a few songs stand out to me:

Gordon Lightfoot’s Approaching Lavender 

Seals and Crofts’s Hummingbird

Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs

James Taylor’s Never Die Young, Line ‘Em Up, Shower The People

(the Fleetwood Mac and James Taylor songs are specifically the ones i was introduced to with, as in the Live versions of Silver Springs and Shower The People)

for those who don’t know i’m also a huge Enya fan (LOTR was good to me) and Dark Sky Island was sick af btw, and also Donna Lewis’s entire Now In A Minute album is pretty fuckin close to my soul

however probably my favorite song, most sacred to me, hard to explain it but just the. whew the memories attached is I Love You Always Forever

furthermore a song that still really creeps me out (that also has an origin story attached to it) is 98 Degrees a cappella cover of She’s Out Of My Life (yep! still no thanks)

i grew up around a cappella since my mom is like a lifetime member of the Sweet Adelines womens a cappella organization or w/e so yeah and i’m not ognna link this on bc it’s a bitch to find just by itself, but Lida Rose from The Music Man is also a fist clench...

now on a more depressing note but one i have mention, Spice Girls’s Viva Forever is uuuhhh hhhhhhhhh hhhhhhnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm 

anyway my dad used to travel overseas for work and when i was younger he went to Germany (and he’d go back there several times after) and he brought me back my first jar of Nutella. naturally i lost my entire shit, and imagine my surprise when Nutella got really big in America lmao he’d brought that jar home like. uh. 7, 9 years prior?? idk guys, ages and math, but it was funny to me

best fucking gingerbread recipe is by Nigella Lawson and i found it in her book How To Be A Domestic Goddess and it’s right fucking here ur welcome 

i’m definitely one of those people who picks a book with a cool cover, reads a couple pages and then decides if i’m taking it or not and that’s how i found like so many good books

ask me about The Passage series and how i am both in love with it and kinda mad (also lmao @ the failed TV show y’all fuckin dumb as hell)

[jjkfire]

update 4/27/21:

I'm working at a startup so it's extremely busy. but I love my job! i am trying to find the time to fit writing in my schedule tho. gonna figure it out someday lol. my stories are not abandoned, don't worry. all the endings and plot points have been planned. i'm just struggling to find the time to write atm. still very grateful for all the kind words and support you guys have given me over the years. hope all of you are out there living your best lives, exploring, learning, and finding joy in all the little things 😊 join my tag list (read the instructions pls) to get notified when I update my fics!

//

previous big update:

hello! i know i’ve been sort of mia but… it’s been an absolutely chaotic time for me. 

the (long) story goes a little something like this:

earlier this year during spring break, i had friends who convinced me to give america a shot and apply for jobs after grad. i really didn’t want to because the visa process is a pain and it costs a lot. also, not a lot of companies want to hire internationals so it’s very demoralizing to receive a million rejections… but my friends are very persuasive people lol. 

so it was super hectic during the last few months I had in the country as i tried to get through the visa process, study, work, beef up my resume, apply for jobs and graduate at the same time. (i understand that a ton of people have to do this too… but it’s hard y’all). anyway, one Medium article, one cold email, and a number of grueling interviews later, i found out i got a job!

now i just had to convince my parents… this was actually in all honesty, the most stressful part. i love them to death but my father really made it feel like i was choosing between my family and a job and ngl i cried myself to sleep on the regular. in the end, he finally gave me the okay to take the job but i know he’s still very upset. that’s honest to god the worst part. (my mum’s been super supportive tho so i guess that’s the silver lining in all of this!)

prior to getting the job though, I was really in limbo. I had returned to my home country because I and by extension, my parents, were not confident that i was going to be able to land a job in the US. I was very confused because I was neither here nor there. I was interviewing with the american company from my home country, trying my best to make sure they’d still be interested in me as a candidate no matter how many hurdles there were. then, to ensure that I had a safety net, I was also doing interviews locally and sending out resumes whenever I could. I was exhausted. and I know everyone goes through the job hunt so it’s equally as exhausting for everyone but yeah it was not a fun time.

anyway so now that I took that job in america i gotta move halfway across the world again, but this time without financial support and i don’t know… maybe this is the first time i’ll be truly independent and ya im seconds away from shittin myself. really gotta put on my big girl pants and try to not be broke yeet yeet.

but uhh that’s the low down on why i haven’t been able to write much at all…….. and yeah! working on it tho… haha always working on it.

to end all of this, I just want to say that I’m super lucky to have all of you. I basically got the job because of that article I wrote. I know I sound like a broken record talking about my article over and over but I dunno I guess all of this is just a little wild to me ahah.

I owe a lot of my confidence in my writing to all of you. I personally think my writing improved bc of this blog and the support you guys give me is… unreal (“: I know it may seem insignificant to some of you to reblog/like and comment on a fic but it really spurs me creatively and makes me feel sort of confident about my writing. all of that is probably why I didn’t think twice about hitting that post button on my article. although it’s a very different type of writing… I don’t know it’s just knowing that my writing is worth something… knowing that my writing is worth taking 5 minutes out of your day to read, is pretty cool and you guys kind of gave me that! (i am in no way saying that my writing is the best thing on earth. far from it. but i think you guys understand what i’m trying to say!)

so in some way, you guys helped me get a job! nice work team hahahah. also, also i just want to say, never give up. I decided I wanted to try my luck at the American job market maybe around the end of March and graduation was in early May. so I had about more or less a month to do something. I knew I needed a way to set myself apart from everyone else because my gpa wasn’t stellar and I hadn’t had any internships in America. not to mention the fact that I was an international student hence it was even harder to get hired. so basically, why would a company pick me over the next person? I thought perhaps knowing how to code was the way to give myself an edge so I learned some basic python and sql but then I realized there wasn’t really an impressive project I could attempt within that short time frame and I also knew far too little to do anything anyway. this meant that I was back at square one.

so, I switched gears instead. I sat down and really thought about what I could do. I concluded that at the very least, I could write. I knew I could write so I needed something that I could use along with my writing and I was like… it’s gotta be data! knowing that, I picked up the basics on how to use Tableau and I also picked up VBA macros in excel (if you don’t know what this is… I think you should Google it. it will literally blow your mind. excel can do a lot more than you can imagine). Then, I picked what I wanted to write my article on, got the data I needed from google trends, used vba macros to make the calculations faster, used tableau to make charts based on the data and photoshop to spice up the charts and etc. I did my research in the meantime as well and had a rough plan on what I was going to write about. after this, it was all systems go and it went a little like this:

wrote the article. attached my charts. linked the links. hit that post button. applied to all the jobs & companies that I thought would see value in what I did and can do. got rejected many times. felt discouraged. did more searching on companies that were willing to hire internationals. decided to send a cold email to a company. ACTUALLY HEARD BACK. went through multiple interviews. ACTUALLY GOT THE JOB.

so guys, never give up. recognize your strengths and build around that. if you think you don’t have any strengths, look harder. if you still feel you don’t have any, make the effort to learn something. it’s never too late for anything. I did all of that in one month and 10 days (the learning stuff and writing the article thing I mean). always be open to learning. I say this so much irl that my friends are sick of it but in this day and age with the internet, you can literally learn anything. so please, learn. learn for fun, learn for whatever reason. learn anything. you’ll never know when it’ll come in handy. like my basic Photoshop that I learned just so I could make a header for my blog… literally used that skill for the graphics in my article lol.

anyway, you can achieve a lot more than you think you can. you just gotta throw caution to the wind and do your own thing. be determined, be proactive. if things aren’t going the way you think it should be, do something to change that. you are all amazing and capable of great things! I hope you all know that. my mum always said if you never try, you’ll never know. don’t be afraid, don’t stop to think about what other people will think of you. keep doing you. people doubt you enough so don’t add to that. keep your head held high and keep moving forward.

once again I want to thank you guys for being sort of a support system for me! every comment, nice ask and sweet message has brought me this far. i really mean it (’: always be nice and supportive my sweet dumplings. your words truly have impact!

[eternaldipshit]

alright i’m fuckin PISSED

i just made this blog yesterday to maybe possibly post a homestuck fic i’m working on but now i’m going to use it to scream into the utter fucking gaping void of the homestuck fandom bc none of my friends are actively in it right now and god dammit i am UPSET

fact: i got a lotta feelings for the striders. they are my shit. i adore them. ok? so that’s an established fact now ok good cool moving on 

fact: when game over was released, i quit the homestuck fandom. that shit broke me. even if it wasn’t the “alpha” timeline or w/e it still fucking happened and it upset my delicate fucking sensibilities and hearing carne vale STILL triggers some sort of visceral feeling of panic and straight-up fuckin MISERY in me and i wish i was fucking kidding but i just put it on now to test it and ugh ugh gughgsh

fact: i started rereading homestuck this month from the beginning and reigniting my love for it. game over still fucked me up, but i powered through it and 5 years fuckin late i finished a harrowing emotional rollercoaster that i’d started like 7 years ago and was just... DEEPLY fucking unsatisfied with the ending which is why i started writing aforementioned fic in the first place but that is not relevant rn this is a whole different rant ok

fact: i wrote like 20k words for this fic in the span of like 3 days it was sick as fuck

fact: the epilogues are dumb as fuck and i despise them 

and that’s the meat of it really. fuck the epilogues. 

i haven’t finished them yet, but i just. ugh. UGH. words escape me. partially bc im a shit wordsmith but also bc *SPOILERS* i just got to dirk’s funeral scene and just fuckin. gave the fuck up. 

i never liked the original homestuck ending to begin with, but i never expected that the epilogues would be so fucking... bleak. it’s like reading a shitty fanfic except all the fun is sucked out of it bc technically all the shit you’re reading is canon and that makes it all seem drab and unfunny and just kinda depressing 

especially in the i guess ‘doomed’ timeline where dirk kills himself 

idk if it hit me hard bc of the flippant treatment of suicide or if it’s just bc i love dirk so much as a character but it just hurt in so many different fucking ways

it doesn’t help that the epilogues paint dirk as a straight up fucking sociopath

and i can see why that would make sense, really. his expanding godhood powers played into his pre-existing sociopathic tendencies in the worst way possible but

it’s just

not what i want to imagine from a fucking epilogue

call me soft and an idealist but i like my happy endings god dammit and fuck FUCK FUCK the epilogues. i want to try to finish them but it’s just. fucking difficult. 

i think the suicide was the last straw for me and now that i think about it it’s definitely bc of my own suicidal ideation and this is exactly why i avoided that stupid fucking show about the girl killing herself no matter how many times it was recommended to me bc i consume media to distract myself from my problems not have them blared in my face in neon lights 

i also fucking hate how dirk’s character morphed from a manipulative as hell genius who constantly struggled with his own morality to this kind of puppeteer who is flagrantly detached from his peers and seems to hold no real attachment to any of them it’s just

it’s shitty

and i was so excited for it bc i thought it would grant me more insight into dirk’s and dave’s characters, considering the fic i’m writing is strider-centric and it just completely took the wind out of my sails instead bc this is not what i pictured for dirk at all 

i mean i’m not a fucking idiot. i know he’s an asshole and an ‘ends justify the means’ guy and definitely manipulative and controlling but this is also the guy that cut off his own head to save all of his friends and tried his best to comfort dave when he was having a breakdown despite his own supposed lack of empathy

and i want so badly to continue my fic like i never read this but i can’t ignore it bc it’s fucking CANON. and i know my biffle would be like ‘fuck canon’ but i can’t fuck canon ok it’s the reason these characters exist in the first place. i might rewrite the whole ending but i wanted to stay as true to canon characterization as poss and now i just. can’t. 

the real kicker is that i was willing to look past the reveal that he was the narrator the whole time, controlling the lives of all the characters even if it literally gave me goosebumps bc it put that whole ‘jake keeps thinking about dirk while jane kisses him’ thing into a new disturbingly unromantic light but i ignored that too. i switched to the other path for a bit and i knew from the minute it switched to the scene where dirk’s hands are shaking and he calls jane i KNEW he would kill himself but i convinced myself otherwise and surprise surprise got my ass handed to me on a silver platter for it

but i cannot i CANNOT believe he would do that to dave. i flat-out refuse. i flat-out fucking refuse to believe that dirk could be so cruel as to leave them all behind in such a crass fashion and how DARE he do that to dave how fucking dare he doomed timeline or not that dude’s been through enough shit like come the fuck ON and decapitating himself??? that’s not poetic fucking justice that is just straight up cruel af and i know these are all fictional chars and this whole scenario is fictional but it is SO UPSETTING TO ME bc that is the EXACT thing you think about before a suicide attempt you think about what it would do to your loved ones and i absolutely irrefutably fucking REJECT the idea that dirk is so far-gone in his godhood puppet game that it wouldn’t even cross his fucking mind and it is just so much worse to me that dave is the one who found the body and i know dirk isn’t a ‘good’ guy but ugh UGH it’s like they just threw out his whole fucking conversation with dave where it’s obvious that he tries to be a better person even tho he knows he’s an asshole and it’s just.

fucking upsetting. 

i hate hate hate what they’ve done to dirk’s character in this it’s like they took all the struggle and all the growth from the adventure and all the nuances and just boiled it down to make a caricature of the person he used to be, emphasizing the negatives so that the epilogues could have this weird fucking quasi-villain dictating everyone’s lives 

why do these epilogues even exist

no one is going to read this but i am just so full of righteous indignation that i needed to get it off my chest. i was so hyped to be back into homestuck again, so excited to see what more it had to offer and this just. ruined all that joy for me. and now i’m afraid i’m just going to fall right back out of it again. 

what the fuck is the opposite of a redemption arc bc that is exactly what the fuck happened here. 

anyway tl;dr i love returning to a fandom i haven’t touched in 5 years and finding out one of my fav chars just got narratively butchered yeah i’m fine it’s cool 

[riverthewriter-blog1]

Character creation tag game

Character Creation Tag game. Tagged by @inexorableblob this was fun, thanks!

I’ll be doing this for Zell in my main wip Angelic.

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

Her backstory. I won’t share it bc it’s a bit of a secret but it’s super sad

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

No, she was actually the start of Angelic. I designed the other characters and basically the entire plot based off of her. Which is sad since she isn’t even the main character

3) How did you choose their name?

There’s nothing special, I literally just made it up lol

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Her role as a Gifted plays a huge part in it. I don’t think I’ve shared much about this on here, but the Gifted-those with the powers of an angel- are divided into three groups. There’s the Revenos, who have wings, the Wenderil, who have an enchanting voice, and the Chithele, which is what Zell is. They’re considered to be the most powerful, as they can control the elements. Her element is earth.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Yeah. She has golden hair with a streak of silver in it. Silver’s huge too; when the Gifted use their powers, their eyes turn silver. She used her Gift too much and ended up paying the price for it.

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

She has green eyes. There’s really nothing significant about it except when they turn silver

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

No. I don’t even know how tall she is

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

I guess I relate to her adriftness, if you know what I mean. She’s lost and scared and hurt and doesn’t really know who she is anymore.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

No. Zell’s her own person.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Not at the time, but I know now that she’s a lesbian.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Getting her character the way I want it to be, I guess. She’s always been hard to pin down

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Pretty far. There’s a lot I know about her that will never end up in the story

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

1) don’t fall in love (just kidding)

2) don’t let her murder anyone vital to the story

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

She’s really good at insulting people creatively

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

She’s just so sad. I get depressed thinking about it bc I want her to be okay but I don’t know if that’s even possible at this point

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

No, I revel in the horror of it all

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

She can actually be an okay friend sometimes. I just wrote a heartwarming scene between her and Enanjel, who is her bff and always super supportive

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

I love every part of her

Tagging @thewoefulandwonderous @clarissalopeswriter @things-waiting-to-be-written @cawolters no pressure, sorry if you don’t want to be tagged

[grimvestige]

Oh there are new artist asks in town!

You know the drill, numbers 2 and 5 if you please?

There are indeed!

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

I cannot believe you'd do this to me. Make me choose favorites? MY GOSH AAAAA. I will try my best!

This one's the first and most obvious one! It's one of the largest pieces I've done in a while, and took me like, at least 18hrs. (Also I linked it's post in the source bc like...it just didn't get a lot of love which makes me sad adfkjdhkjh)

I think for my second piece, I'll actually choose a piece of writing I did! I'm still learning how to write, and it took me ages to finish this, but I'm really proud of a one-shot I wrote about Tiarnan and his partner going to explore a forgotten archive as one of their dates. I'll put a teensy excerpt here, and link to the whole thing here.

“You’re not going out to explore alone, are you?” a low voice rings out from behind Tiarnán.

“I…uhm, well,” the librarian stammers for a moment, before straightening up and turning to face the source. Leaning in the door frame behind him is a grinning crimson summer sidhe, donning cranberry and charcoal colored robes and crystalline ruby pauldrons. Strapped on their back is a large great sword, its jagged hilt glittering with magenta crystals. “I didn’t want to be a burden Móirín, you have your duties and all,” Tiarnán quickly ripostes, tucking his hands behind his back and smiling expectantly.

Móirín rolls their eyes before standing up and walking over to join Tiarnán. “Your silver tongue won’t keep the wisps from you, and I much prefer you alive than an empty husk.”

Oh god I've only picked two pieces! #3 is a commission I did for @eldritch-goth! I finally felt like I was getting a good grasp of all the tools I had available in CSP for this one!

BECAUSE I HAVE A REALLY HARD TIME PICKING (its mostly being chronically bad at enjoying my own art, not just loving all of it) I'M JUST GONNA GO WITH SOME RECENTS I LIKE!

#4 is a reinterpretation of some dialogue from Hellboy in Hell, but for one of my NPC's in my D&D campaign, Hanzou!

AAAAAND #5 will be a piece I finished like literally this week of a scene from some Hadreon rp! This was fun to put the background together for ^^

OKAY I HOPE THAT WORKS?????? AAAA;;;; it's very hard to pick favorites because I draw so much and just don't get super attached to a lot of my work ^^;

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

I don't think there's a lot, but I definitely want to try more pixel art! I always enjoy it when I do it, but never remember it's an option.

Also I suppose if it counts for drawing, I'd love to do a proper action shot animation at least to relatively clean lines, something along the lines of Castlevania!

[pinkheichou]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12! (You don’t have to do them all. Love yooouuu!! 😘💗)

Ayeeee Silver thanks for all these numbers! (love you too!!!)

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. Definitely angst with feels and if it has porn with feels, it’s a nice bonus ^~^ 

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? Ah, tbh I am still insecure about writing a (good) a/b/o multichap fic :o So far I have two a/b/o one-shots posted, but they didn’t have much depth. I’m just unsure about what a/b/o elements I would like to present how (or not) and so on. Maybe one day I’ll have more confidence in writing this kind of thing…

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. Oof, tbh there are a few now that I like. It’s the easiest if you look at this post of mine here where one had to post 8 fav lines of their own fics + something I wrote only recently ( here ) and ended up liking as well is: ‘Levi was already a head shorter than him, but his unusual timid stance – head lowered, lips bitten, face hidden behind a curtain of mellow raven hair – induced a sense of longing crispness within Eren.He yearned for a haven where he and Levi would be wrapped tightly together by a flannel of love–safe and sound.’

8. (not doing this one bc it’s hard for me to find a good dialogue sorry)

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write? Tbh my Ereri Secret Santa fic ‘Killing Is His Second Name’. For the first time did I write things like action and mafia and hitman AU and I really didn’t know any terms on how to descrive the way someone is handling a gun as he aims at his target and so on. It took me a while until I finished that fic ^^; 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? Aaaaahh idk I think?? Hmmm I’d say my very old smol (yandere Levi) Ereri one-shot ‘You Are Mine Only’. Bc when I wrote this 2 years ago, I was young and naive and my writing half-assed and bad, so it didn’t take me that long to write it. I think I managed to finish it all in less than an hour wow lol :’D

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? Fun hobby. I am not talented enough to call it my passion, but honestly that doesn’t bother me at all. I’m doing this for fun, doing it because I have ideas and ships I wanna write about. I don’t care if I don’t get feedback at all (which is highly possible with my rarepair fics), I write solely for myself and I’m happy if others can enjoy it too, but I never necessarily need something back from others ^^ 

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? I don’t get this question tbh? :O

Thanks for the asks, it was fun answering them!!!

Send me numbers from the writers ask meme!

[dont-give-money-to-jkrowling]

Remus Lupin in HBP : notes

hey guys ! i am currently trying to reread the hp series, hoping to gain a better understanding of remus’ character. i started with this book bc it was physically closer to me than the other ones and i hate moving.

i will transcribe all these messy notes in a fully detailed and well explained analysis, but first i thought i would post the notes i took from the book bc they are fun and very extensive, so maybe other people can then use them for their analysis of the character ( if you do, please credit me )

warning : they are, however, not very academic. i tried not to get subjective, or at least to state the facts before to add my own reactions. also, i read the book in french so i wasn’t able to quote the book directly and also sometimes i nickname dumbledore “dumbie the meanie”

oh and also a lot of these were written late when i was half asleep so my english is probably terrible and they might not always make sense.

and finally : i swear a lot. and capitalize a lot. get ready.

- Molly mentions that he comes to visit the Weasley household

- Hermione mentions that he tried to make Tonks feel better about Sirius’ death ( including the fact that she didn’t manage to defeat Bellatrix therefore stopping her from killing him ) what a sweet and gentle bean

- first actual apparition in chapter 6 : Harry says his clothes look even more miserable than ever, that he seems too thin and depressed and that he had a lot of white hair SOMEBODY HUGS THAT CHILD

- also he talks about an ex death eater that had been killed and says « i’m surprised he survived an entire year after leaving the death eaters ; if i remember correctly regulus only lasted a few days » which shows that he knows a lot more about regulus’ death than everybody else – makes quite a lot of sense

- literally can’t stop speaking about the war and people who died and how things aren’t looking up for their side

- we see that a lot of protection spells and such are against werewolves : while most of them are scams, i wouldn’t be surprised there was a lot of silver going around at the time, which isn’t a good sign for remus’ safety and health ( mental and physical )

- draco says fenrir greyback is a friend of his family – was he possibly a friend of the blacks ? I need answers

- at hogwarts, harry says that he hoped lupin would write to him, but that he didn’t. He seems disappointed

- he spends christmas with the weasleys ! Why is no one talking about this friendship

- when harry sees him, he thinks he looks skinnier and more miserable than ever. I guess dumbledore is too busy getting harry ready to die to buy him some FREAKING FOOD

- also even on christmas eve in the middle of some bloody party he stays by himself near the fire and looks depressed, he only starts partaking in the conversation when the war is mentionned

- says dumbie the meanie sent him with the werewolves where he was unable to communicate with anyone. He also says ( will have to check in the english version ) that the werewolves are « his pears and equals » in a probably self pitying way

- harry says he seems bitter about having been asked to do this job. ( again, need original text ) but he also appears to be upset to be seen as the token werewolf here

- as soon as he realizes he sounds bitter he tries to smile and says he isn’t complaining and that it’s true that he should do this job and that it is necessary blablabla much BS

- he says other werewolves have a hard time trusting him bc he lived with wizards and they had to steal and kill to eat ( bc… you obviously look… so well fed… and privileged… )

- when harry asks him who Greyback is, he visibly tenses , but when he is the one to mention him ( talking about his mission ) he seems pretty normal

- ALSO he apparently has to see Greyback for his mission what the fork dumbie

- says greyback wants to create an army to overpower the wizarding world sounds festive and also that werewolves have a right to blood and should seek revenge on « normal people »

- seems surprinsingly open to discussing how he got bitten ? Like harry asks if it was when he was a kid and remus just roll on about what happened and his feelings good for him

- for a long time he thought the werewolf who bite him had done it by accident and felt sorry for them and apparently learnt the truth much later HOW DID YOU LEARN IT SOUNDS SO ANGSTY

- when harry says remus is normal and just has a « problem » it reminds him of james and he immediatly starts laughing his heart out this is both nice and really sad

- then starts sharing precious childhood memories and cheers up once again this is both nice and sad

- after that he jokes a bit and wow only a mention of james and his childhood made that sad lonely man so happy i want to cry

- AND MORE AND MORE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ABOUT THE MARAUDERS

- talks a lot about james but avoids mentioning sirius even when harry tries to bring him up and doesnt even come close to talking about peter

- apparently he got a weasley sweater for christmas this is the cutest thing ever

- remus confirms once again that he isn’t speaking to anyone and probably avoids human contact as much as humanly possible this boi needs a good old therapist

- harry considers remus a patronus expert ??? chill just bc he thaught you that doesn’t mean he wrote his thesis on it

- but apparently he did bc guess who knows exactly why your patronus would change ???

- gets a bit awkward when tonks’ patronus is mentioned and is less at ease with words than usually. Also talks very slowly ( to remember when writing pining remus !! )

- hermione asks about him at hogwarts after the holidays PEOPLE CARE REMUS STOPS AVOIDING EVERYONE

- HOW COULD I FORGET TO MENTION THAT WHEN SNAPE IS MENTIONED HE IS LIKE « YA SURE HE RUINED MY LIFE AND THE ONE OF EVERY OTHER WEREWOLF IN THE COUNTRY BUT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT HE MADE ME THIS POTION »

- also he says harry’s feelings of hate towards snape come from the old predjudice inherited from james are fucking with me 1) hate justified 2) he literally used the m slur against lily and took part in racist bullying becoming later a facist and 3) i dont really think james had the time to teach harry that snape was a bad guy do you ? #calledout

- tonks hints that remus isn’t giving her any news about, for example, whether he’s alive or not. Remus really ? Bad manners.

- when Harry looks at all the detention’s files, he says Remus’ and Peter’s names were only occasionnally associated with the ones of James and Sirius, who were much more punished. Prank example : inflating another student’s head

- so this is more about greyback than remus but he talks really freely about biting children ( which must have been joyful to hear about poor lil remus ) and other death eaters hex him ? They never hex each other ? So they probably feel pretty entitled to hexing any werewolf that come their way

- also something about this attack bothers me. Dumbledore said he asked for the order members in hogsmeade to come to defend hogwarts but why was remus here then ? And later, when he tells about the battle, he says he saw greyback but there is no mention of them fighting or something yet greyback was supposed not to know remus was a spy for the order ? What is going on here i need answers

- i think remus’ bite mark was probably somewhere on his neck bc that’s where greyback wanted to bite harry. Does remus have to wear constant turtlenecks to hide it ? Omg

- REALLY SNAPE ? When they are both fighting after he killed dumbie he wants to run off and harry calls him a coward and he answers “oh yeah well when your dad bullied me it was always four against one so ha who’s the coward now” like WOW i do not appreciate you and oh also i guess possible information about the fact that the marauders acted together against snape but it’s kind of a contradiction with snape’s own memory where it’s only sirius and remus ? Guess snape is just making things up

- at the school hospital, remus has to stay with bill, who just got attacked by greyback, and that cannot be fun

- people don’t dare to say the word werewolf around remus for some reason

- HOW DOES REMUS KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO BILL AFTER HIS HALF BITE WHAT DID HE WITNESS WHILE SPYING

- when he learns that dumbledore died, he has a complete breakdown ( well he falls to a chair and hides his face in his hands and looks really distressed ) and harry says it’s the first time he sees remus losing control of himself. People underestimate how loyal to dumbie the meanie remus was

- he justified snape for a very long time but as soon as he learns he kills dumbledore ? He goes full ‘i hate him’ mode and says he has been a death eater spy the whole time

- he also used to say snape versus marauders was just old school rivalries but now he says « um, snape hated james » so really a lot of his attitude was really influenced by dumbledore

- as he is himself completely devastated, he takes time to comfort everyone and says « nah it’s not your fault » to everyone who blames themselves

- says a death curse nearly hit him during the battle. That is not a part of his character analysis but damn

- he « recovers » pretty quickly from his breakdown. Like they say his tone is harsh but that’s all lol wish i could get over something that fast

- nah kidding he’s probably just used to all the ‘don’t let them see, don’t let them knoooow’

- MOVING ON TO THAT REMUS/TONKS SCENE I DISLIKE

- as soon as tonks opens her mouth to talk about them dating, he ‘suddenly tenses’

- OKAY WHAT THE FUCK when remus tries to say that he doesn’t want to date tonks she grabs him, yells+ at him and shakes him down ? WHAT THE HELL BACK OFF

- apparently, when having a conversation about his love life, remus loves to stare at all this beautiful floor

- apparently remus predicted that the board members would try and close off hogwarts

- at the funeral he is holding tonks’ hand

[dxrkblaze]

Give ME ALL FOR THAT MEME BC IM A HO N I LOVE UR WIRITNG U FUCK

this just in: ru is gay and I love her HHDGSHHDDL THAnk u sm homie I cri,,, ❤️❤️

1) of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?Hmm… probably all my colors? Like, there’s a lot I’d like to go back and change, but at the end of the day it was my baby for a good two plus years and there’s a lot of personal stuff sprinkled in there. It kinda shows my emotional progression throughout high school in the story, and while that’s def not why I wrote it, it’s cool to go back and look at it sometimes to see the things I used to say/think about. Plus it’s one of the only massive projects of mine that I’ve actually completed, lol.

Also I have a lot of love for amc just bc it’s so… different, I guess? Like, I’ve never really seen something like it fleshed out into a full-length story, especially not with silver and blaze. And the fact that it rlly touched several ppl and got them rlly into it… that makes me feel kinda accomplished when I’m not being a self-deprecating prick lmao. I rlly rlly wanted it to be my first fic to get to 100 reviews for a reason!

2) favorite tense (past/present/future)Definitely past, I tried present with the unforgiven and it just made it frustrating to write, lmao.

3) favorite POV (first/second/third/etc)I prefer writing in first person, actually. I think it simplifies things for both the writer and reader, and I’ve always found a lot more freedom to be creative when I write in first person.

4) what are some themes you love writing about?Lmao well, obviously romance is priority one for me, so most of my themes stem from that. I rlly love writing about class struggle tho, whether it’s someone low who’s aiming high or a noble who isn’t satisfied with such a high class. Morality also comes up a lot in my writing, I guess; tryna figure out what the right thing to do is, tryna figure out if this character actually did the best thing, all that good stuff!

5) what inspires you to write?Definitely music… sometimes I’ll stray from it and pick up some inspo from movies/stories/etc, but 99% of the time I’ll be listening to a song and suddenly come up w a fic idea from it lmao.

6) thoughts on critiqueI encourage it!! bc I think it’s the only real way to improve. Sometimes it can make me feel bad if I’m in one of those rlly shitty self-deprecation ruts, but still I usually get over it soon even when I’m like that. I know it’s for the better, and I appreciate everyone who’s ever been kind enough, and cared enough abt my writing to give me critique!

7) create a character on the spot…. NOW!UMMMM OKIE,,, what abt a snow leopard named Kyra… she likes to sit around n read n eat noodles… her main hobby other than reading is dancing. she’s v shy but she loves her close friends n BAM I just made her gay. She’s a lesbian, harold.

8) is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?Most - probably silver… his personality is always one I’ve gotten a lot of joy out of writing. He’s basically a walking contradiction, lmfao. He’s also pretty easy for me to self-project onto, idk why. Least - I’m gonna say amy for this one, just because it’s been hard for me to focus on more than one aspect of her personality and flesh all of it out. Plus amy is a somewhat overused character lol, I get a lot more fun out of writing blaze/tikal/others when I need a female role, even if it’s something simple

9) a passage from a WIPOh u kno I gotta dip into royalty au for this one 👀

–

It was nearly a fortnight before any word was received from King Pyrus. It came in the form of a small parcel addressed to Blaze, which held a note inside for her. The young princess jumped at the feet of the servant who had brought it in, and once it was lowered into her hands, she hurried to her chamber. Once there, she closed the door behind her and jumped on her bed, unable to contain her excitement. With a careful claw and an eager expression, she tore the parcel’s paper away. Before looking at what it contained, she snatched the note from her father, and brought it to her face. It read:

My Little Flame,

I am sorry I could not write to you sooner. I remain busy, but I finally began exploring, and I found something I think you will simply adore. It is a traditional robe (I believe it is called a kimono) from here in the Eastern Isles. It is just as beautiful as the land, and just as special as you are to I, my dear. We must make plans to bring you here one day, it astounds me each time.

Do not fret about the ongoings in the world, how ever much you have heard. Kiniti watches over us at all times, and she will ensure peace among all kinetics. Hopefully, I will depart in the coming few days, and we will see one another soon.

With love,Father Flame

Blaze, of course, merely skimmed over the second half of the note as a formality. She laid the message aside, and her jaw dropped once she held the kimono out. It was a beautiful shade of dark purple, with an equally enchanting design. Trails of dainty cherry blossoms sat on rugged branches, which climbed up either side of the robe. The silk seemed to melt between Blaze’s fingers; it was the softest material she had ever felt. She rubbed one of the sleeves against her cheek, and purred into it. When she turned the robe over, she gasped. A large, pink bow was already tied at the back, as if it had been made just for her. She slipped the kimono over her shoulders, and although the sleeves hung low over her arms, the length was just right. Blaze tied the pieces of ribbon at her waist, just as Pyrus had taught her, and words could never express how delighted she was with the gift. She could not wait to show her father once he returned.

As Blaze was fitting her tail through the bow on her back, Baxton entered the room. Whenever Pyrus was absent, it was usually Baxton who took up the king’s general duties. He signed letters, addressed the people, attended court; it kept him quite busy. The only responsibility he didn’t inherit was any control of he army - the sole post he would be familiar with. Quite the chore it was, but Baxton was always fond of his temporary sovereign role. At least in terms of the power he held, that is. In fact, Blaze assumed that he had been yelling at some servants not too long ago, judging by his flushed face.

The elder cat scratched his head. “Princess, did the king leave a letter?”

Blaze pointed to the note on her bed. Baxton scurried to it, and frowned as he glanced over the elegant handwriting. “Is this it?” he quizzed.

The princess nodded, and held her arms out with a smile. “Look, Baxi! Look at what father sent me!”

Blaze couldn’t quite tell what Baxton’s expression conveyed, but it was something between a smile and a scowl. The note crumpled in a quick motion from Baxton’s fist, and was thrown back onto the bed cover. Blaze didn’t think much of this as Baxton hurried out, and she walked to her mirror to admire the kimono again.

–

10) what are your strengths wrt writing?Hmm… I get a lot of ppl saying that I’m pretty eloquent when it comes to phrasing/word choices? I’m constantly tinkering with how things are said, even up until like 30 seconds before I publish smth lmao. I also like to think I never just string sentences together and leave it at that when I’m narrating, I pay a lot of attention to how different sentences/phrases flow together.

11) what are your weaknesses wrt writing?My main weakness would probably be going overboard on all the little things, like how a sentence sounds or flows and stuff like that. I end up being a perfectionist with it, and sometimes when I’m crafting/changing phrases around, I end up with a sentence that kinda drags on or tries to do too much.

12) what’s your favorite place for writing resources?Tumblr’s pretty good for me, actually. I rarely ever seek out resources, but I do reblog a lot of them that come to me here and they’ve been very useful to me in the past.

13) who are your favorite writers?Ok first off binch u@aurora-boring-alis (FF: aurora-boring-alis) Then my other peeps who also make the quality goodness™™ I can’t get enough of (some fanfic accounts more active than others)@maliwarm (FF: biteworsethanbark) @lordoftheghostking28 (FF: lordoftheghostking28) @weezernaut (FF: space mercutio)@ebachan (wattpad: witto150)