#this was one of my earliest fics and I think it shows but I'm also proud it's not too horrid

[nehswritesstuffs]

Skin Deep

Remember how I said I’d probably transfer some of my non-OP fics over to AO3 from FFN? Well, here we are!

Skin Deep - 2.4k words - originally posted March 03, 2005 - Zelgadis has found a cure for his condition, or has he? [not later-series compliant]

Read on AO3: [here].

[factcheckingmclennon]

john giving paul a bracelet: fact or fiction?

a lot of mclennon fics feature this silver ID bracelet of paul being given to him by john

so did john give paul a metal bracelet with his name on it?

this one is completely just a theory which lands it in

not too crazy much to get into source wise w this one because it's solidly theory/headcanon territory but i'll explain anyway for anyone that doesn't know The Bracelet Lore!

this one comes at me from @life-under-calico-skies :

Hello! First of all; THANK YOU for your blog! Omg! It was much needed! My question is; did John really give THE bracelet to Paul? It makes sense bc of the timing and when Paul wears it or not - so I WANT to believe it so bad. But I don't think I ever saw ONE reliable source saying that he once gave him a bracelet (or any other jewel, for that matter)

first of all thank YOU! i'm glad you enjoy the blog <3

but you're totally right- there's nothing other than the timing/when paul wears it and as near as i can tell, there's no source on it whatsoever, just people tinhatting. so we can't necessarily say it's Untrue, but it's a bit like speculating that they started a sexual relationship in hamburg or that x song was written about y... there's not much in the way of proving one way or another, unless paul comes out and says something different

with that SAID if someone says "john gave paul a bracelet" THAT'S definitely misinformation (intentional or not ofc). it's not fact. it's just a theory & i think somewhere that got a bit lost in translation? but anyway i'll break down what you mean by the timeline so others know wtf we're talking about here lmao

the theory

paul has/had a silver identity bracelet with his name on it. the theory goes that john gave it to him in paris or on paul's 21st bday & paul wore it on and off throughout his life

there's not much to back this up but there's also not much against it? so if you want to believe it that's fully your prerogative. me personally, i think it's a nice thought/headcanon and don't really Believe one way or the other, i just like the idea of it for like fics and shit

so the timeline...

this is the source for the Main pic people use to show the inscription. these pictures were presumably take in late 1963 and published in october of the same year

which also means this one could be earlier as it's also from '63 and the Only place i can find it is on a 1993 trading card saying it was from a "1963 publicity shoot" but i can't find any other photos from the shoot or which shoot it was to tell you what month that was lmao

there's also this photo from his 21st birthday party with it, which is Probably the earliest of these two:

which I honestly think is the Most likely time he would've received it, whether from jane or john or whoever else.

and as for the Rest of the timeline i'm pulling from a now deleted post by @ swaying-daisies who seems to have deactivated or changed urls but here's the post anyway. you can see him still wearing it in the 70s, although he stopped wearing it around 1967 for a while it seems

and then you can see it again in anthology:

as for where he got it all he's ever said was this:

"Dear Paul, I waited for three hours in line to see A Hard Day's Night and I thought it was just marv. What wrist do you wear your gold ID bracelet on and where did you get it?" Patricia Parrish BARSTOW, CALIF. "Dear Pat, Glad you enjoyed the film. We've almost finished work on our second movie now- and it's in color this time. Hope everyone enjoys it. I'm left-handed, so it is much easier to wear my watch on my right wrist. Therefore, the bracelet is on my left wrist. Where did I get it? Let's just say it has close sentimental value."

i've seen people say that there's pictures of him from Before 1963 with the bracelet on, but i can't find them.

so the options come down to: it was a gift from jane, it was a gift from john, it was a gift from his mother, or it was a gift from one of his other relatives

a couple of reasons people doubt the jane aspect is that he continued to wear it into the 70s & then ofc people claim that he had it before he met her. i can't find any evidence of him having the bracelet before jane, so i take that with a grain of salt. i'd think for me personally the only thing discounting it from being from jane is the fact the he still wore it during anthology. if it were just the 70s, that might be hand-waved away because it can still take a bit to get rid of everything an ex gave you. but by anthology, he definitely would've been over it.

people also point to him being cagey and saying "let's just say it has close sentimental value" as a reason it's Not from jane, but honestly i don't find that very compelling because at the time of this letter he was still like. out as being with jane, but it was peak beatlemania when they were supposed to be appearing single & approachable. so if it was from jane, i don't think he'd say that here either.

the oooonly other point against it being from jane is simply that i've seen people assert they "know for a fact" that it's from jane because people had matching sweetheart bracelets back then- but she's never seen wearing one. but that's just against them having matching ones, i really don't know if she gave it to him or not.

i don't see any reason that it wouldn't be from a family member that's not his mom, though. if it were his mom, there definitely would've been photos of him wearing it long before 1963. so For Me it comes down to john or another family member. jane is also still a strong possibility to me, although like i said the anthology bit throws a wrench in that for me, unless that's a different bracelet completely. or who knows, maybe he got attached to it outside of her- i've definitely kept things from exes long after i give a shit about them if i'm being honest.

another piece people like to throw in is that in both of the photos of him wearing it after his and john's split, he's wearing it on his right wrist rather than his left, like a widower would if it were a ring. not convincing to me honestly, but it's a part of The Whole Theory/Headcanon bit

others also speculate it could be from ringo! ringo had a similar one and I wouldn't be too surprised if paul liked his so he got him one for his 21st. definitely An option to consider!

also, if anyone knows the exact date on that teeth brushing photo that would be lovely. or if anyone happens to have a photo of him with the bracelet from Before he met jane.

but yeah tl;dr: it's theory, if anyone says it's for sure fact they are misinformed or just really want to believe it. no one knows who gave paul that bracelet and i doubt we'll ever know, so have fun.

[spirk-trek]

hii this is really random but i'm writting a paper on star trek fanfiction from the 60s/70s and i was wondering if there were any fics youd recommend? are there any like iconic, keystone fics that are really significant to the fandom? (i'm having a bit of trouble sourcing pre-internet fics)

Hi! I'll try to help the best I can but I am by no means an expert- in fact, many people who end up seeing this may have better/more information so I'll extend it to any of them to answer as well :)

Disclaimer: many of the following links contain nsfw content!!!

Here is page 1 and page 2 of what might be the first known k/s fanfic published in Grup fanzine (1974). Grup is credited as being the first Star Trek fanzine with adult content. This fic, A Fragment Out of Time by Diane Marchant was vague enough that it had to be clarified as k/s in a later edition, but the author did do so.

Spockanalia is always a good source for early fandom. It is the earliest and best preserved example of fanzine content (beginning in 1967 before the second season had even aired). I'd definitely say that makes it influential! So much more can be found on the internet archive and on fanlore. Copies of Spockanalia found their ways into the hands of many people involved in the show, including Roddenberry himself.

Gayle F is a prolific fanzine artist (one of my favorites) for k/s and is also influential to k/s writing. She was behind the Cosmic Fuck Series (yes really lol) which begins with Desert Heat (1976) in which Spock prematurely enters his second Pon Farr with only Jim available to him. This is the first mention (that I know of) of Spock's "double ridges" which are still a fanon element of his anatomy today (fanlore link here).

Alexis Fegan Black is another name to know, but is actually the pen name for author Della Van Hise. She did a lot of her work in the 80s and beyond, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but I think she's very influential. You may know about her licensed trek novel Killing Time (1982) because the first edition was recalled for being way too gay (changes between the two versions are best documented here imo).

Jenna Sinclair was very influential but again, a lot of her works came a little later than what you're looking for (note: ao3 does NOT have the correct dates, you'll need to find those separately).

A few more links to throw at you:

List of Star Trek Fanzines

List of Star Trek SLASH Fanzines

Captain's Log (1968)

The Crewman's Log (1967)

Spock's Showcase (1968)

Spock's Underground (1968-71)

The Sensuous Vulcan (slash zine, 1977)

Thrust (slash zine, 1978)

I hope all these links work and at least something I mentioned is helpful for you!! Good luck! I'd love to hear about your research if you're so inclined to share :)

[ginnyruin]

i'm sorry but the nurchie "art" is clearly AI generated??? can we please stop sharing and praising shit that some algorithm spat out without ever asking the original creators whose work it steals and regurgitates for their permission

- sincerely, a pissed-off artist

Hello,

I’m going to set the record straight, and I’d suggest you read carefully before making any more baseless accusations. Nurchie is an actual artist—a trained one, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in digital art and two-dimensional studies (drawing and painting) from a prestigious university. She has 16 years of professional design/digital art experience, and a publicly documented portfolio going back well before AI art even existed.

go look at her earliest work on Deviantart and you'll see how precisely detailed she draws hands, fingers, and clothing. Everything, really.

If you had bothered to do any homework, you’d see that her work reflects thousands of hours of dedicated practice and the expertise of a seasoned digital artist.

Calling her work AI generated is BEYOND insulting. it’s lazy, dismissive, and downright disrespectful to a person who has spent years honing her craft.

She doesn’t ask for clout, she doesn’t do commissions, she doesn't have a patreon or Kofi. She only made a Twitter years ago because I asked her to share her talent with the world or she wouldn't even bother.

This tendency to label any polished work as “AI” just shows ignorance, plain and simple. Real artists deserve better than to have their skills lumped in with AI machine-generated content by people who can’t tell the difference.

Each of her digital paintings takes anywhere from 30-80+ hours. For Altered State specifically, she's been working on all these art pieces for months while I've been on a posting hiatus. Her incredible work keeps me inspired; I would have literally quit ages ago. We go back and forth on details from the writing in the fic and I see these changes she makes in real time.

She paints in her limited free time for these niche fandoms because she loves the stories and wants to support the writers in it. In a world where fandom is becoming increasingly commodified, she is a rare gem.

I didn't even want to bother Nurchie with this silly comment of yours, but she's such a good sport she just laughed at the idea that anyone could accuse her art of being AI generated. She uses a combo of adobe CC suite and clip studio to draw.

nurchie messaged me this, and I asked for her permission to share it: [I just think they are probably some struggling artist, upset that they feel replaced by soulless AI and are lashing out any time they think they see it. I'm sympathetic to their feelings, and understand the annoyance. I've been battling the improper usage of it in my workplace. AI is not AI but just a data collection tool, and I completely agree that the human eye could never be replaced by it.]

yeah, she's the most chill, sweetest person ever, too. So maybe think twice before throwing around accusations you clearly can’t back up. You're trying to hurt a real artist.

-sincerely,

A writer who knows a real artist

https://www.deviantart.com/nurchie/gallery

edit: also accusations like this drive away real fanartists. Why should they bother sharing their work if their talent and skill are being dismissed as some algorithm's output? it's toxic. fandom spaces will be flooded with AI-generated content in the future because all the true artists will have left.

[sparklingchan]

Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word Count: 5.4k+

Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.

Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.

Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?

A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3

Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)

Here's the link to the masterlist.

Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.

You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.

"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.

Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?

You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.

You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.

The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.

"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:

I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.

Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.

The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "

It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.

But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.

And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.

*

"I'm going to miss you, my child."

The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.

Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.

"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.

But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.

"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.

"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Your mother clinges to your arm.

"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."

"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."

"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.

Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.

*

The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.

After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.

"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."

Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."

You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.

Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?

A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.

"Yes?"

"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.

With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.

"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.

Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.

"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.

And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.

When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.

"My lady, you may rise."

You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.

"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.

You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?

As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.

"My lady, please look at me."

And you do.

And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.

Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.

His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.

"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.

The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.

"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."

You nod.

"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."

His bride? His bride?

Your legs feel weak.

"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "

Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."

You frantically nod.

"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."

*

When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.

But apparently not.

"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."

But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.

Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.

You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.

"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."

Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"

You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.

While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.

And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.

The reproduction lessons.

The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.

A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.

But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.

"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.

"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."

You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?

Perhaps not.

But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.

That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.

"My lady, the King is here to see you."

His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.

"Did you miss me, y/n?"

And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.

Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.

Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.

But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.

Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?

"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).

If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.

He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."

"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."

"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."

That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.

The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.

"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.

"But what if Changbin favors them more?"

Somi does not reply to that question.

*

On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.

Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.

But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.

"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."

"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."

The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.

The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.

The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.

"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.

The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.

When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.

"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.

What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?

"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."

He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.

The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.

*

You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.

Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.

When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.

You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?

Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.

When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"

You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.

"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."

"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.

"Yes. He was."

As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.

Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.

Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.

"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.

The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.

"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."

You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.

"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.

"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.

The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.

"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.

"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.

"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"

Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.

"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.

"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.

But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.

Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?

When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.

As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.

She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.

"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.

One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"

You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.

Needless to say, nothing worked.

*

"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.

"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."

You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.

The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.

After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.

"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.

"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."

So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.

Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.

Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.

But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.

Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?

"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.

"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."

The butterflies dance around for a split second.

"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.

"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."

When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.

"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.

"What is it?" You ask.

He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."

His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"

He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?

"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"

"Okay. I will be honored." You say.

You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.

"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"

"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.

"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."

His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.

"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."

You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.

Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.

*

While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.

The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.

He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.

But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.

For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.

"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"

"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"

Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.

Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.

Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.

Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.

Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.

And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.

But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.

And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.

"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.

Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.

"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"

"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."

Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."

Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.

He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.

*

You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .

"My lady, the King is here to see you."

Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?

"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.

"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.

Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."

"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.

The tears that had left you threatened to return again.

And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.

It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.

"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"

"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"

"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"

"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"

Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.

She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.

The butterflies burn with passion.

"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"

When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.

The butterflies bloom more than ever.

You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.

"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."

Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."

And so you shall.

[tiedyeflannels]

Never Did, Now I do

Namjoon x reader

Also known as: The five times you blew a kiss to Namjoon and the one time he finally blew one back.

Word count: 3.2k

Masterlist

A/N: Hi!!! I'm here with a Namjoon fic!!! I got inspired to write this one after watching an edit of Namjoon lives so... Anyway, the text that's "italicized" and in quotations, is dialog in English. Hopefully that makes sense... I hope you enjoy!!

one. - The earliest memory I have of him was when we were 6. 

It was a random afternoon when my parents decided to take me to the park. I was happily playing by myself when someone bumped into me.

“Hey, watch out!” I turned to look at a boy with an apologetic smile that showed his dimples.

He bowed slightly.

“Sorry! I just wanted to know if you wanted to play together because I saw that you were playing alone,” he wondered, scratching the back of his neck.

“What if I was happy playing alone?”

He nervously looked to the sides.

“Well, sorry for bothering you then,” he said as turned like he was about to run away before I grabbed his arm. 

“Hey, I was just kidding! I would love to play with you, um…” I trailed off.

He perked up, “Oh, it’s Namjoon.”

I held out my hand for him to take. “My name’s Y/n! Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand.

We must've been playing for quite a bit of time before our parents called to each of us, saying that it was time to leave. We both groaned, but promised that we would play again when we saw each other. My parents called me again and I started to jog over to them before stopping and blowing a kiss to him. Something I saw my parents do a million times to say ‘bye’.

“See you later, Namjoon!”

two. - I remembered doing it again when we were 13.

“Aren’t you nervous,” I asked as we entered the underground cafe where the rap circle was bound to take place after checking in.

He shook his head as he marveled at the people gathered in front of the stage and the stage itself.

“Nope, why would I be,” he asked looking at me. I gave him an ‘are you serious right now’ face.

“Um, because… I don't know… You’re going to perform in front of people who have been doing this way longer.”

He chuckled, “The way I see it, I’m here to learn, not teach. Those who teach should be the ones that are nervous.”

He smiled brightly, showing off his dimples. I nodded as I took a deep breath.

“Are you nervous for me?”

I shook my head, “No, there’s just a lot of people.” 

“I think you are,” he teased as I looked away.

He placed hand on my shoulder, garnering my attention.

“Y/n/n, there’s no reason for you to be nervous. I’ll be just fine. I have you here to support me and my amazing mind.”

I rolled my eyes, smiling. “Okay,” I nodded.

Moments later, someone on the loud speaker announced, “Coming up, Runch Randa!”

I started clapping with the crowd and looked over to Namjoon, who wasn’t clapping, but smiling and that’s when it hit me.

“Wait, that’s your stage name?”

He nodded.

“Are you gonna keep it when you’re older?”

“Is it bad,” He questioned.

“No,” I shook my head as he chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something better later, but I’ll keep using this one for now. Plus, I’m not sure I’ll like doing this,” he said, gesturing to the stage.

I watched the person currently performing on stage.

“I’m sure you won’t get enough,” I smiled.

As they finished up their song, we walked over to the stage.

“Thank you for being here.”

I smiled.

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this for the world! You’re gonna kill it, Mr. Randa,” I cheered.

He smiled before he took the stage. He took the mic and then looked over to me. I blew him a kiss for good luck before he looked forward with determination and started his song.

three. - Another time when we were 19 and he was about to debut on the big stage with BTS.

“I’ve gotta visit more often,” I said, walking into the green room.

“Y/n!” The guys called out as Namjoon turned away from the wall to look at me.

“Happy debut day, you guys! I’m proud of you all,” I said as I walked around and gave them all a hug.

I saved the best for last and stood in front of Namjoon.

“Congrats on debuting, Joonie! I got you something,” I said, holding up the gift bag with black tissue paper sticking out.

He took the bag and looked at me with a confused face.

“It’s nothing too big! I just wanted to get you something,” I said as he placed it on a nearby table and started to open it.

He pulled out a leather bound notebook with a leather strap wrapped around it to keep it closed.

“Y/n/n…” he trailed as he looked at me. I smiled at his reaction.

“If you open it, there’s something written on the inside of the cover,” I pointed out.

He did as instructed, pulling the strap apart and opening the book.

He read aloud, “‘To: Namjoon, Wherever we are, no matter how far apart, I will always be rooting for you! - Y/n’.” 

I looked at him expectedly, “Do you like it?”

He quickly pulled me into a hug.

“I absolutely love it, thank you,” he whispered, nuzzling into my neck.

We pulled apart after a moment and I watched as he put the notebook back in the bag and set it by his things before walking back to me. 

“BTS, you’re on in five minutes,” one of the stage managers called.

All the boys got up, ready to perform.

“We gotta go, but I’ll see you later,” he said and I nodded as he started to walk over to the other members. 

Right before he was going to walk out, “Namjoon!”

He looked back and I blew him a small kiss.

“Good luck out there! I’ll be watching from the sides.”

He smiled and nodded before leaving with the others for their debut.

four. - Again when we were 22 and they were leaving for their Wings world tour.

“I’m not late, am I,” I asked running up to the group that was about to leave for their Wings tour.

Some of them were giving the managers their bags, so they could put them in the trunks and the others turned to look at me.

“What’s that,” Taehyung asked, pointing to the three bags I was carrying.

“Oh right! I brought you guys some food because I wasn’t sure if you’ve eaten since it’s really early,” I said, handing a bag to Tae, Yoongi, and Jin as the rest gathered around.

They all said their ‘thank you’s as they started to dig through the bag, taking out some of the food I packed for them.

I smiled, “Of course! I wanted to see you guys off, but I can’t do it at the airport so I had Namjoon text me when you would leave for the airport.”

I looked at him and he nodded.

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Hobi exclaimed as he brought me into a hug which led the others to hug us effectively making a group hug. 

“Take care of each other and have a safe trip! I’ll see you at your last concerts,” I said, pulling away from the group.

The managers let them know that they would have to leave soon and that they should get ready to leave. 

We all said our ‘bye’s before they started to get into one of the cars.

That left me with…

“Y/n,” Namjoon said, grabbing my attention as I turned to look at him.

I hummed in response.

“Thanks for coming to see us off.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss this for the world… Though, it’s super early,” I said through a yawn.

He smiled.

“Plus, who’s gonna remind you to make sure to not lose your passport.”

He laughed, “That was one time!”

“Doesn’t matter! Knowing you, you would probably lose it again so make sure to give it to Yoongi or Jin,” I teased as a smile grew on my face.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said, pulling me into a hug.

“I know, but I’ll see you when you come back.”

I pulled back, holding both of his hands and looked at him.

“Look at you, going on your first long-term tour! I’m so incredibly proud of you, Joonie,” I smiled.

He pulled me back into the hug, holding tightly. “I’m really gonna miss you, Y/n/n,” he whispered.

I tightened my hold on him, too, “I’m really gonna miss you too, Joon.” 

We stayed like this for a bit before Jin yelled, “Namjoon, the managers said we have to get going soon!”

He quietly groaned in frustration and I laughed as I pulled away because I know that he rolled his eyes.

“Please be safe and stay healthy. If you ever need anything, I’ll always pick up, okay?”

He nodded.

I nodded too before sighing, “You should get going.”

He nodded once more before he started walking toward the cars with the other members. He was about to get in when he looked back at me. He waved to me and I smiled as I blew him a kiss and waved before he got in the car and closed the door.

five. -  The last time was when we were 25 and I had to leave for a while.

“Are you sure that you’re going to be okay,” Namjoon asked, taking the last bag out of the trunk and placing it on the ground.

I smiled at his concern.

“I’ll be okay, Namjoon.”

“I’m just making sure.”

“Trust me, I’m not one to lose my passport unlike some people,” I teased.

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you,” he rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. 

“Nope,” I shook my head and he sighed, accepting his fate.

He walked up to me, rolling the suitcase over and handing it to me. I placed my bag strap over the handle and let it rest on the top of my suitcase.

“Remind me again, how long are you going to be gone,” he asked. 

I rested my hands on the handle of the suitcase as I thought, “Hmm… two, three years maybe.”

He groaned, “That’s so long…”

I chuckled, “It’s not that long. Three years can pass in the blink of an eye.”

He nodded and sighed lightly, “I know, but I’m gonna miss having you around all the time.”

I pushed my suitcase to the side and walked up to Namjoon, pulling him into a hug which he immediately returned.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I promise,” I whispered, nuzzling my face into his neck. 

We stayed like this for a few more moments, then I gave him one last squeeze before pulling away from him and taking out my phone to check the time.

“I should get going before I miss my flight,” I said as I grabbed hold of my suitcase.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” 

I smiled sadly at his question. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to stay here, with him, but my job had offered me an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up so I agreed with the clause that it wouldn’t be a permanent relocation. 

I started to back up, so I could put some distance between us.

“I’ll text you when I land, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded.

With that, I turned and started to walk away. I was about to go through the doors to the airport, but stopped and turned to face Namjoon before blowing him a kiss and waving goodbye.

He smiled as I turned to leave him for a while with a promise that I’ll return soon.

~

It had been two and a half years since I moved to the US. 

Namjoon and I haven’t kept in contact as much as I thought we would. When I first moved, we always made it a point to text each other a couple of times a week, but we both started to get really busy so we couldn’t talk as much.

Now here we are, barely talking to each other unless it’s a holiday or birthday. Though, I always made sure to keep up with what he was up to and that meant watching his lives. 

I saw the notification when I opened my phone once I put my stuff down after I got back from work. I tapped it to open it up as I placed it on the kitchen island and propped it against the closest object.

I went to the fridge to grab the leftover take-out from the other day and proceeded to put it in the microwave to heat it up. At the same time as me starting the microwave, the live finally loaded and I could hear Namjoon talking.

I watched him just talk for a bit before the microwave beeped, signaling that the food was done heating up so I walked over and took it out, then went to get a fork out of the drawer before going back to the island so I could start eating. 

After a while, I saw a specific comment: Oppa, why do you blow kisses at the end of your lives?

He must’ve seen it too because he answered, “Because you guys ask.”

I smiled and he continued, “And because someone very close to me did it all the time for me, but I never did it for them. I haven’t seen them in a while and I kind of regret not doing it back all those years, so now I do it for you.”

After a bit, he started to say ‘bye’ to Army before blowing a kiss and turning off the live. I smiled sadly as I pressed the home button and turned off my phone, thinking about what he said earlier.

I sighed when I got up and put my dishes in the sink, ready to go to bed, hoping that I would be done with my job in America soon, so that I could go back home…

~ Two months later ~

“Congrats, Y/n!”

I looked up from my computer to see Lyn standing over my desk, grinning like a maniac.

“What do you mean, Lyn,” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“Well, you know how you always say that you want to finish up here so you can go home? Now you can!”

I shot up from my seat once those words left her mouth.

I looked at her in disbelief, “What, really?!”

She nodded happily, “Yep! Everything was finalized earlier today and they just sent out an email stating that everyone from the Korea branch is good to move back starting next week.” 

I smiled brightly at the news. I finally got to go back home, where my family and friends were, where Namjoon was.

one. - When we were 28 and he finally blew one back to me.

I was walking with a staff member through the halls of the concert venue that Namjoon was set to perform within the hour. It took a few minutes before we arrived at the “Artist Room”.

The door was open, seeing that there was staff frequently going in and out of it so I peaked my head in.

He was sitting on the couch, hunched over, and writing in a journal with a frustrated expression on his face. I quietly chuckled when he shook his head and scribbled over what he just wrote before sighing. 

My gaze fell to the journal and after a few moments, I realized that it was the journal that I gave him all those years ago. I remembered that he once told me that he explicitly uses it to write lyrics, which makes sense watching him right now.

“Do you always write lyrics before a performance,” I questioned.

His head shot up to look at me and he dropped his pen, whatever he was writing was forgotten. I smiled as I walked further into the room, stopping a few feet in front of the coffee table as he stood up. 

He quickly rounded the table, scooping me into a hug and spinning us around. I laughed at his excitement before he stopped and set me down.

He backed up and looked at me with a small smile and surprise in his eyes. “What are you doing here?!”

“Well, I couldn’t miss my best friend’s first solo concert, now can I?”

He pulled me back into a hug before he said, "I'm sorry."

“For what,” I chuckled confusedly.

“For not trying harder to keep contact with you.”

I hugged a little tighter, “It’s not your fault that we were both super busy. Plus, our timezones weren’t exactly the nicest.”

He pulled back, “Wait- ‘weren’t’? Does this mean…” 

I happily nodded.

“Yep, I was cleared to move back last week so some of my things are still on they’re way, but I’m back for good!”

A giant smile made its way onto his face, showing his dimples as I told him the news.

We just stood there, looking at each other until a staff member tapped me on my shoulder and told me that I should head out soon for the performance. 

I nodded and sighed, “Well, I should probably get going. I got front row tickets, so I’ll see you after your performance.”

I started to back away from him, but grabbed my hand right before I was about to leave. I looked at him with curiosity.

“Will you go out with me,” he blurted out. 

My eyes widened in surprise at the question, “What?”

“You leaving for so long made me realize how much I like having you by my side. It was hard not being able to call you just to talk about random things or accompanying you to get ice cream at 2 a.m. because you were craving it, but didn’t want to go alone. It broke my heart when I let you go, but I don’t want to make that mistake again so… will you go out with me?”

I looked at him and saw nervousness overtake his face, but there was still hope in his eyes.

I couldn’t say that I didn’t feel the same way because I did. I couldn’t imagine not having Namjoon in my life and the time that we spent apart made me realize that I wanted to be with him, too.

So after a few seconds of deciding I smiled and nodded, “I would love to.”

He smiled and was going to say something, but I held up a finger in front of him to stop him.

“BUT right now you have a performance, so we’ll talk about this afterward, okay,” I raised my eyebrows.

He nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you after the show,” he said as he let go of my hand.

I backed up a bit, ready to take my leave before a thought popped in my head.

“Oh right!” I blew him a kiss, “Good luck out there, Joonie!”

With that I turned around and almost through the door, until Namjoon called my name.

I looked back at him and he finally blew a kiss back.

[warabidakihime]

Rules and Roses Chapter 4

★ characters: kibutsuji muzan x reader x akaza

★ plot summary: Kibutsuji Muzan has finally decided to expand his empire, and the way he intends to do so is by running for the highest political position. With you, his darling wife, at his side, he believes he can achieve and have everything the world has to offer. He is, after all, the Phoenix of Phario.

★ fic playlist: sometimes, same day, as time stops, wolf’s song (this is also the vision board for the fic). 

★ content warnings : implied violence and abuse, profanities, toxic relationships, smut.

★ Previous Chapter

a/n:

hello!

just want to hop on here and say thank you to everyone who has been giving their likes and reblogs. huge thank you to those who are taking the time and effort to read my story as well. i've been wanting to continue this story for so long but i'm just so busy with work, but i'm glad i am able to find the time to write and update as regularly as i can.

hopefully someday i can hear your thoughts through your comments though haha i would really love to hear what you think about Rules and Roses and the way i write the characters as it is my first time. tbh, i am extra curious to know if i'm giving muzan's character justice HAHA but yeah, it never hurts to leave comments so feel free to send them my way.

i also would like to give those people who have not read the manga a heads up, that in this chapter and in the succeeding ones, there will be minor to moderate manga spoilers, so ready with caution.

also, moving forward, things will steadily pick up, so get ready HAHA!

enjoy reading everyone!

-

The sun had barely risen over Areswood, its golden hues taking its time enveloping the sky, but Muzan and Douma were already up and busy at Obelisk Kibutsuji, going over their next course of action for their campaigns for the next few months.

Muzan stood at the center of his spacious office. A large map of Phario's electoral districts sprawled across the narra table in front of him, dotted with colorful pins representing key areas of support. 

Douma, on the other hand, leaned over the map, his eyes narrowing as he assessed their next move. 

"We need to double down our efforts in the southern districts," Douma said, twirling his fan languidly. "The latest polls show we're losing ground there, but it is the opposition's home turf, so I'm not surprised," he added with a hint of mirth.

Muzan nodded, rubbing his temple as he processed the information. He'd been up since dawn, reviewing speeches and strategies. The weight of the campaign was beginning to show in the faint lines on his face and the dark circles under his ruby eyes.

Unlike Douma, Muzan couldn't afford to make light of the situation. Keeping a straight and serious face, he continued to rack his brain for strategies. After a few minutes, Muzan finally spoke, catching everyone's attention.

"Let's schedule a town hall meeting in Azudellin. We need to connect with the voters there and show them we're listening to their concerns."

"Today?" Douma asked.

"Yes, why? Do we have other agendas for today?"

Douma quickly checked his calendar on his phone.

"We have an interview with the Areswood Times in an hour, then a fundraiser lunch at noon, followed by debate prep, and a gala dinner with key donors tonight."

Muzan sighed, his frustration evident in his voice. "We can't afford to delay this. Azudellin is slipping away from us."

Douma, feeling a bit depleted himself, shrugged. "The earliest we can fit it in is next week. It might be too late by then, but who knows? Maybe a miracle will happen."

In the midst of a very important meeting, a knock separated everyone from their own thoughts. One of Muzan's executive assistants, Nakime, walked in with a stack of freshly printed leaflets, oblivious to the tension in the room.

"Sir Kibutsuji, Sir Hashibira, these just came in. The design team finalized the new posters and pamphlets for the campaign trail."

Muzan barely glanced at the leaflets, his mind racing. 

"Thank you; just leave them on the table."

Nakime quickly left after obeying his orders, clearly sensing the gravity of the moment.

With mindless eyes, Muzan continued to rack his brain for any backup plan or anything that could be of significant help to the predicament they currently have. Letting out a resigned sigh, Muzan finally opened his eyes and turned to everyone. 

"We'll have to make do with what we have," he said, turning to Douma, who's listening intently. "At our interview with Areswood Times today, maybe we could give Azudellin a special shout-out—say something that can please their ears. This is your specialty, so I leave this to you." 

Douma nodded, a peculiar smile present on his face. "I'll handle it. I'll make sure our message is loud and clear in the interview today."

Muzan merely nodded at his running mate before turning to the rest of his party. 

"Let's deploy a few of you to Azudellin today; get some boots on the ground. We'll organize smaller meet-and-greets throughout the week to keep our presence felt until we can hold the town hall altogether. Take this chance to highlight your own platforms and campaigns as well, but don't oversell yourselves and turn off the locals. Understand? We can't afford any missteps."

A chorus of 'yes, sir.' and 'understood' rang in the room after listening to Muzan's orders. As usual, his commanding voice and his overall demeanor exuded charisma and extreme strictness, which made everybody in the room yield to him so easily.

Muzan scanned the room, making sure everyone's conviction matched his own. Technically, his party has been dominating almost all polls across the entire country, and it's safe to say that he is the number one candidate to win the elections, but he didn't want to remain complacent.

He doesn't want to attribute his victories to silly things like fate or destiny. He did that before and miserably paid the price; after learning his lesson, he vowed to never rely on foolish things ever again and will do everything in his power to ensure his indisputable victory.

Taking a deep breath, Muzan felt assured again. 

"Alright. This meeting is adjourned. Thank you, everyone."

*

"Oh, really? That's good to hear, darling. I'm happy for you," Muzan said softly, followed by a fond chuckle as you continued to share what happened during your hair appointment.

You were at the salon, enjoying your usual 'pamper time.' While you were getting your hair done, an A-list celebrity approached you. Initially, she only intended to have a small chat, as you are technically an A-list celebrity yourself. However, as your conversation continued, Ume confided in you that she recently got engaged but hasn't announced it to the public yet.

She personally requested you to be her wedding planner, and of course, you gladly accepted.

"Ahh! I'm so excited. I'm still preoccupied with Ms. Rivera's wedding, but so many ideas for Ms. Ume's wedding are already flooding my mind," you told your husband gleefully.

Muzan chuckled again, his eyes turning into crescent moons as a smile spread across his face, a total contrast to the serious expressions he had earlier.

Muzan prided himself on being level headed even in the most dire situations, but all that bravado would always melt away whenever he was with you. He couldn't help it. Your energy has always been contagious, and when it came to you, he was nothing but a man hopelessly in love with his wife.

Douma, seated in the backseat with Muzan, looked at his running mate with pure intrigue, watching him transform into a lovesick puppy while talking to you.

"Ah, yes, the meeting went great, my love. There were a few bumps here and there, but we managed," Muzan said to you. Knowing you, he anticipated your worry and was proven right when he heard the concern in your voice.

"I see... well, if there's anything I can do to help you guys, you know I'd be more than willing," you said from the other line.

Muzan smiled softly, clearly touched by your investment in his endeavors as much as he was in yours.

"Well, if you're free next week, you can tag along to our town hall at Azudellin," he proposed.

You smiled, having left the salon and decided to go to the mall for some much-needed retail therapy. Akaza wasn't with you today, as he had something to take care of, so Gyokko, one of your security guards, was accompanying you today.

"I don't have anything planned next week. I don't mind joining—wait, can I also do my own charity event there? I haven't done one in a while, and don't you think this is the perfect time? It could help your campaign."

Muzan immediately smiled at this. "You're more than welcome, darling. I'll have my people assist you with your preparations. Just let me know what help you need."

"Aww, you don't have to! But thank you. Let's talk more about this at home later. Maybe we could tailor this with your own community outreach initiatives. I believe you have a couple, right? We can make it a joint one, hitting two birds with one stone."

Muzan was listening intently when Douma reached out to let him know they had reached their destination. Muzan gave him a curt nod before returning to you.

"That's right. Alright, let's talk about it later, Y/N. I need to go; Douma and I are here at the studio already. Take care on your way home, okay? Call me if you need anything."

You nodded with a happy smile on your face. "Okay. See you later, my love. And good luck today. I love you," you said with passion.

Muzan replied just as passionately, "I love you too. Mhm, yes. Goodbye. See you later."

After ending the call, he turned to Douma; his whole demeanor had already changed. "Let's go."

Douma complied, climbing out of the car after him.

As they walked inside the building and toward their dressing room, escorted by a handful of media staff, the vice presidential candidate subtly nudged his running mate.

"It seems like that phone call improved your mood, Pres ."

Muzan smirked, his strides toward the TV studio exuding confidence and pride. "My first lady is quite the wonder woman."

Douma chuckled softly, amused by Muzan's demeanor. "It seems like she has quite an effect on you."

"She does," Muzan replied, his tone unapologetically confident. "She's not just my wife; she's a force to be reckoned with and my equal."

Douma raised an eyebrow, intrigued by Muzan's unabashed praise. "You sound almost unbeatable when she's on your side."

Muzan merely nodded, the cocky smile on his face still present. "Indomitable."

Douma chuckled softly. "You've really got it bad, haven't you?"

Muzan shot him a sidelong glance, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Do you not feel the same about Shinobu?"

Douma chuckled again. "Hey now, don't underestimate me. My wife is a force of nature herself."

The proud CEO of Obelisk Kibutsuji and Phario's leading presidential candidate simply offered his running mate a rather shallow chuckle as a response and a nod to convey that he agrees with him.

Finally, they reached the TV studio, and the two of them noticed that it was a full house.

"Are you ready?" Douma asked Muzan.

Muzan's gaze swept across the room, his presence commanding attention.

With a confident smirk, he declared,

"To make history? I was born ready.'"

He made his way to the stage, greeted by applause and camera flashes, projecting an aura of assured victory as he took his seat on the couch.

*

The day was finally coming to a close. After spending the entire day at the mall shopping, you were exhausted and hungry.

Initially considering Italian cuisine, it suddenly occurred to you that the downtown burger joint you and Akaza had visited a couple of days ago was nearby.

Opting for convenience and familiarity, you decided to head there and also decided to order takeout for both Akaza and Muzan, as well as Kokushibo and the maids and guards.

Surely, both had returned home by now or were on their way. Muzan's jam-packed schedule guaranteed he would appreciate indulging in fast food after such a long day, and Akaza would undoubtedly welcome the gesture.

And it wouldn't hurt to treat your house staff every now and then. It is something you do every now and then, as it's one of your ways of showing appreciation for the services they provide you.

For Muzan, you chose to order the same as yourself, knowing he preferred healthier options but trusting he would enjoy something you approved.

You already ordered Gyokko to prepare the car, so when your orders are ready, you can just hop in and make a beeline home. As you waited at the counter, you hummed to yourself, glancing around the familiar surroundings of the burger joint.

Once again, a sense of déjà vu struck you, from when you entered earlier and throughout your stay. It's honestly starting to worry you.

"It's nice to see you around here again, my dear."

You turned to the voice—a kindly old lady. "Excuse me?" you asked politely.

The old lady smiled warmly. "It's been quite a while since your last visit."

"Oh, I've been busy these past few days," you replied with a smile. "I really enjoyed my first time here last week."

Confusion crossed the old lady's face at your response.

"Aren't you one of our regulars?"

You frowned, puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand..."

"You've been coming here for years , haven't you? Or am I mistaken?"

Your unease grew visible. "I'm sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else."

Before you could finish, the old lady turned and retrieved a photo from the wall behind her, returning to you with a smile.

"This is you and your fiancé, right?"

She handed you the photo.

In it, Akaza had his arms around your waist, both of you beaming happily.

Your eyes widen in sheer shock.

"What..."

Turning the photo over, you saw a note scribbled on it:

Hakuji Soyama x L/N Y/N - Just got engaged! (03/03/2015)

-

taglist: @bffrrufr @unadulteratedhandsbanditdreamer @unlikelybananawerewolf

[moodymisty]

I've had a dark and intriguing idea swirling around in my head for the past month. It came to me after the wonderful fic where Cato catches Roboute and Lady Guilliman. Roboute's first act was to protect his lady's honor. And then I had a thought. It's Roboute. But some primarchs would hardly stop halfway because they don't care what their sons think. + let the rest see how wonderful you are. Let them envy him.

This idea was especially fueled when I remembered a scene from Robin Hood 1991:

And now I'm wondering which of the primarchs would react like that?

Perturabo 100%. He'll just glare at the unfortunate Iron Warrior and growl "don't you see I'm busy" while continuing to pound into you while you're burning with shame. Or he strokes your head and just treats you like an animal if someone dares to enter his chambers without warning before his caresses turn into actions.

Ferrus Manus and Lorgar will stop, but they are unlikely to leave your body. Which is rather awkward. And knowing Lorgar, he will most likely be interrupted at the earliest prelude. Kissing on the shoulders, caressing the legs. And this means that he will continue to do this …

Horus and Fulgrim depending on the situation. Fulgrim before the Heresy will protect your honor, but after you will always have the doors to the bedroom open. It is more interesting with Horus. On the one hand, he is a Warmaster, he can do whatever he wants. Let everyone envy and be ashamed.

But on the other hand, he can also be vulnerable. Do not forget that although he was wounded by Anathema, he still initially had doubts, fears. And he, like all primarchs, is a legalized war criminal. So in moments of solitude, he just wants to bury himself inside you and never let go. And let anyone try to interfere.

Of the other primarchs, I can only single out Konrad. But that's Konrad. There's no point in explaining.

Perturabo and Konrad do this for sure. Russ is another one I instantly thought of. Horus also, because he’s a massive show off and yeah he can do whatever he wants.

Lorgar would but I think only if he’s very pent up from being gone for awhile. I think if it’s just a normal night he would stop, but if he just got back from a crusade, head between your thighs, nah he isn’t going to stop only to tell them to leave him be.

[wingedshadowfan]

Hi, I just found your blog by seeing a reblog in another blog I follow for another show and I loved it all. So much great meta. I loved Arcane and I LOVED Caitlyn, she’s my fave by far but I’m not in the fandom in any way because after way too long in countless fandoms I know what kind of crap I would find about the show and Cait and seeing everyone’s “defense” of her here I can see I was right. So most of fans hate her? Don’t get any kind of complexity? Think she’s unredeemable for her serious but understandable mistakes? Only care about poor fandom’s fave Jinx who has never done anything wrong in her life? LOL so not surprising.

I think I’ll keep myself away from that but I was wondering if you read fic? I would love to read some but written by authors who actually love Caitlyn, hell if she’s their fave even better so you or any of your followers have any recs? I never read any fic in this fandom but I would love to try but the number of fics are staggering. Thank you, even without any recs it was a pleasure to read so much good meta about Caitlyn. 

ooh, this is gonna be a long reply!

first of all, thank you so much! i'm super glad we can support each other in critically analyzing and discussing media together, especially one as complicated, meticulously and lovingly made as arcane <3

i'm convinced i will never shut up abt caitlyn and though i do call it defense, it's not about excusing or justifying her actions for me, i truly think she has one of the most interesting (if not the most interesting) arcs in the whole show, and having gone through a character regression and made a ton of mistakes doesn't take away from that, it adds onto it for me. she seems to still be quite misunderstood by the fandom in terms of moral compass, motivations and intention, which is why i hope people would look a little deeper into her (very complex) character after reading some posts abt her - mine or otherwise. tiktok user danpyxel has some amazing analysis (they've got a background in narrative, afaik) and they're incredibly pleasing to listen to, i recommend them for arcane discussions not just about caitlyn!!

now, i'm not a jinx hater in the slightest, i think she's also a very complicated and interesting character, one who mirrors caitlyn a lot actually! and yet i keep seeing tweets like the og one here (quote retweet explained really well in just 3 tweets that that wasn't what happened) so i'm reminded the fight isn't over:

and onto your last point, i do read fanfic (and i write too, though mostly kpop ones so far)!

i'm actually cooking up a caitvi post-war fanfic/short story and it's plaguing my mind but it'll probably be finished and posted in mid jan at the earliest bcuz i'm in the middle of exam season right now :')

but yea i also haven't read anything in the arcane fandom yet bcuz it seems quite intimidating as a caitlyn enjoyer lol. if any of my followers/ppl who see this have recommendations, please please please drop them here!!

[nitewrighter]

what are your thoughts on the metallo drones since you seem to be a huge hank henshaw fan? I know he's metallo in the comics, or at least that's what osmosis has told me.

Oh boy time to be insufferable---

~Actually!~ Hank Henshaw is Cyborg Superman! Later just shortened to The Cyborg! But also I can understand how it would be easy to mix up Metallo and Cyborg Superman. Anyway, you've activated my trap card so I'm going to infodump now.

If he's a human brain jammed in a mostly-robot body with a Kryptonite Heart, that's Metallo!

Metallo's original human identity was John Corben and they've varied the origin story a bit. The earliest appearance of Corben's Metallo actually had Corben as a reporter at the Daily Planet! I even make a callback to this in my "Life In Plastic" fic. And because his Robot Body made him bulletproof there was a whole mixup where Lois thought *he* was Superman's secret identity and he was like "hell yeah, baby, I'm totally Superman."

Both this and his later Byrne Rebooted Origin more or less had him as "Criminal who got his body destroyed and replaced with a robot body with a Kryptonite heart."

The comic Superman: Secret Origin had him be a soldier that was favored by Lois's Dad, General Sam Lane and concordantly was kind of a creep towards Lois. Which lead to this frankly iconic exchange:

This Corben Metallo-fication is basically the result of a military experiment gone sideways.

Superman: TAS had him as a mercenary on Luthor's payroll, but they gave it a particularly piquant twist by having him be a bit of an epicurean--he liked good food and hot babes and all the finer things in life being a Lex Luthor-funded mercenary could give him-- but then OH NO! Lex Luthor secretly infected him with a retrovirus to force him to transfer his consciousness to a robot body and also he's got a chunk of Kryptonite jammed in his chest now! Courtesy of Lex Luthor!

He can't taste! He can't smell! He can no longer feel the warmth of a woman! (Actual line from the show, btw) And he's so pissed about it!! Also the whole "can't feel the warmth of a woman" thing also leads to him creeping on Lois.

So it's kind of interesting that, beyond the "Robot Body with a Kryptonite heart" concept, basically the one thing that's kind of been consistent with Metallo across his incarnations is... being a creep towards Lois.

So to bring this back to the Metallo Drones in MAWS... honestly I don't really register them *as* Metallo because they're drones and for me, the core of Metallo's character is like... human desires and human selfishness in contrasted with this monstrous, unstoppable, Terminator-like frame. The other core of Metallo's character is obviously his Kryptonite heart. Like, I mean sure you could see them as extensions of the Amertek CEO's selfishness, but the name seems more like a callback than an actual iteration of Metallo, and also they clearly have some very specific ideas of what kind of properties Kryptonite has in this show, so it's likely they can't have the Kryptonite heart for Plot Reasons. And like... I'm okay with that. I'm okay with this version of Superman kind of being contained by its own tech-y logic and you don't need to bring in the entirety of his Rogue's gallery to tell a good story. But like, also Metallo I think is supposed to feel a bit... personal. This is a dude who has a core of the Rock That Kills You and he's creeping on your girl! You really don't get that personal feeling from these drones. So y'know, I'm gonna miss him, but I'm also just seeing how they build up these drones and the rest of the villains in this show right now.

Now Hank Henshaw--! He's Cyborg Superman and in the comics he makes his big (cyborg) debut with the whole Death/Reign/Return of Superman saga! His origin story is basically he was an astronaut who, along with his crew, got exposed to Space Radiation, Fantastic Four style, only it fucked them up and made most of them die horribly, with the exception of Henshaw's wife. It's Adventures of Superman #466 if you ever want to check it out. It's incredibly fucked up but also pretty fun. But basically everyone thought Hank died from the radiation, when actually he transferred his consciousness into the technology of the lab around them, shooped his consciousness into some Kryptonian tech, and then popped up for "Reign of the Supermen" as Cyborg Superman (spoiler alert if you haven't read it but also PLEASE READ IT--the nuking of Coast City and the villain turnaround and Green Lantern coming in with a steel chair is SO GOOD).

I do love the idea of a villain being someone who was both collateral damage from one of Superman's previous adventures, but also someone Superman ultimately failed to save. I have no idea what direction they're going to take with Hank Henshaw in MAWS, but I LOVE that he has a lot of Superman's classic appearance--especially with the little hair curl in front! It suits him so much!!

[bcbdrums]

Oh! Are you doing most memorable fic moments? I love your angst (Can I put the entire fic The List?). I'm more of a fluffy person though so I think I have to go with Drakken and Shego warming up in Ice Escape or Drakken and Shego' kiss in Victory (We all cheered).

Ohhhhhh that's all so kind of you!!!

Quite honestly, I had to go back and find The List because I'd forgotten it, and I was thrilled to re-read it! I don't know if it was obvious, but I was thinking of BTAS's Joker with the way I wrote Drakken, at least during the kidnapping scene. Sort of that....nothing to lose, go for broke, simply for the sake of it. Aaaaahhhh I love this one too! Also Shego's...fruitless search for meaning in life, only to finally find some and feel she can't do anything about it in the very end. Yes... This fic speaks heavily to my early inspirations with Drakgo and I'm pleased with my writing of it as well.

Ice Escape I just wrote honestly to hit that trope of cuddling for warmth (my third time doing so with Drakgo, too). I've wanted to hit that trope ever since...well...that BTAS episode where Catwoman is poisoned and Batman rescues her and takes her to some deserted hideout or something to try to recover. Little shipper me always thought some cuddling would have made that all much better, huehuehue... (Can we all see what my earliest fandom was LOL.) Thank you, thank you. Plus, it was fun to write the reality of that scene... I know the whole show is cartoon logic, but come on now. Kim almost killed them.

And ah yes, Victory. Drakken really would have won in So the Drama, even after Kim came after him (it was Rufus who saved them all, remember). It was the perfect plan, and you know Shego respected him for it. This is the ending we shippers wanted, heheh. Or at least, I tried to do the idea a little bit of justice. Really, would Drakken ruling the world have been such a bad idea.... Just get the right people in key roles, you know... I'm sure we'd have all been fine.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU anon for your kind words! I enjoyed the journey through memory lane going back and looking at these fics!

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I noticed that your older fics tend to lean towards dom eddie/ sub buck while the more recent ones are switch buddie (which I love) so I was wondering if something in the show made you see/interpretate the characters differently or if your own writing preferences changed or if I'm reading way too much into everything

You're not reading too much into it and I'm honestly pleased and flattered that you paid enough attention to my writing to notice!

Yes, as the show has gone on, and we've learned more about the characters, I've come to the conclusion that Buddie would be more switches. I think it's natural that as you learn more about the characters that you shift how you write them - in my earliest fics for example I had the headcanon that Eddie would have had some (young inexperienced and fumbling) experiences with men, and that he'd be more into casual sex. Now I headcanon based on his behavior that he's more demisexual and wouldn't have really any sexual experience besides Shannon because of that need for emotional connection. I originally thought Buck would realize his feelings first, but given how season five went and then Eddie's reactions to Buck in season six I'm now of the opinion that Eddie realized his feelings a while ago and has been ignoring them while Buck, bless him, is fucking oblivious.

Anyway those are just two examples of how as a show goes on and you learn more about a character you shift your headcanons and perceptions about them. So yes! I've shifted in my views of how the boys would be in bed.

I do think that Buck would overall be more submissive and when he's domming, do so more as a service dom - Buck likes to know he's doing a good job and being there for the people he loves, and so domming for him would be about knowing he's giving Eddie what he needs, rather than enjoying being in control.

For Eddie, someone who has constantly in his life scrambled for control and had it yanked from him, I think he'd still overall prefer to be in charge, at least at first, and I think that'd only be submissive to someone he really deeply trusts. However given everything in season five I think he'd also find being submissive to be incredibly freeing if it's with someone he can trust to love him and hold him (metaphorically), and Buck is that person. Eddie is very much a caretaker and likes to feel he's trusted (lack of trust in his abilities is a huge issue in his relationship with his parents for example) so I think he'd really like domming Buck and seeing how much Buck trusts him to take care of him. It was really season five for me that gave me the shift in feeling Eddie would be submissive at times, given his whole arc with his trauma. I think given how important it was in his arc for Eddie to admit he loses control sometimes and needs help, submitting would be important for him as well. He'd just be pickier about it.

In other words - I think Buck's instinct in bed is submit, but he ultimately shifts to reflect what his partner wants/needs (and headcanon it's probably led to him being sexually unfulfilled before - how many times has someone wanted him to just pick them up and rail them and play that Big Strong Guy when that's not who Buck is?) and would also find fulfillment in giving Eddie what he needs because he likes doing that for his loved ones. And I think Eddie's instinct is to dom, for multiple reasons, but that submitting to someone he loves and trusts would also by very fulfilling and enjoyable.

Ergo, they switch! LOL

I think also in most sexual relationships when you're not explicitly sceneing (i.e. planning a scenario out with set roles) there's a certain fluidity to the roles of who's submitting and who's dominating. So there's that as well, it's not always gonna be clear cut who's in what role and it's going to move back and forth. Y'know?

Anyway that was an extremely long-winded answer ha ha but I'm delighted you noticed that shift! One's art is continuously evolving and when one is writing for the same characters over the years (four and counting for Buddie in my case) while continuously getting more information about them and seeing them in new situations and so on as we get with each new season/episode, there's definite shifts in one's portrayal of those characters. I'm flattered that anyone would pay attention enough to pick up on the ways in which mine's evolved.

[candlemouse]

Warrenessa Fablehaven Edits

except we do not have significant footage and I am not an editor so it's actually me just writing out what I would do if both of those previous statements were not true

Is this insane? Yes. Was my train delayed by 40 min today w/no service? Yes + might be related

Italics are lyrics. Small is my reasoning or film direction! Click below for more

imgonnagetyouback - Taylor Swift

I see this one from the perspective of Vanessa after the betrayal / falling in love again.

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new

Here, the song kind of hits the beats on the syllables of "we're becoming something new," and I would have like those flashes of them from the earliest form we see them, to the betrayal, and to Zzyzx and after. Highlight maybe Vanessa winking at Warren. She would have done this. Or the other way around

Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too"

I would use the Sphinx + Vanessa here (not Errol bc I don't really interpret their relationship as meaningfully romantic) and maybe Elise bc tbh when I first read these books as a kid, I thought they were together. But, no, Kendra just wonders if Warren thinks she's pretty. That was enough for me when I was 8 though lol. Also could put Dougan in. Not that I think him and Warren have a relationship but bc I think it would be close enough

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

Leaving the Inverted Tower, when Vanessa is bound by rope, but a clip where she looks at Warren?

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) / We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) / Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" / Pick your poison, babe / I'm poison either way

This last half of the bridge is just so perfect for them I don't even need to elaborate! Pick your poison? Have both scenes of battle between them + kissing!

The Promise - When in Rome

This would be a short edit about longing!

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say / (I promise you)

If you listen to the song, the syllables hit harder/slower/something different after "right." So the beginning is like a couple second scene of them interacting but after "right", on the syllables, there's jump cuts between them. Maybe times when they've been at odds.

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be / (I promise you)

Now, im using made up footage so ideally here I would use a scene from my warrenessa fic where he talks to her (in the dungeon) after the inverted tower battle, but a shot where Vanessa's Face is framed by bars

And if I had to walk the world I'd make you fall for me / I promise you, I promise you I will

Clips of Vanessa on her field trip w/Seth + the satyrs, literally traveling the world (an outcome is that she sees Warren again)

I will, I will

Here, I would use footage of Vanessa sitting on the beach alone at the lighthouse and Warren sitting down and joining her. It would be a shot from the back with the ocean in front of them and you can't see their faces. This will be a scene in my fic but also could be plausible bc I bet if Fablehaven was a TV show they would show the confrontation between Warren/Vanessa on lighthouse beach instead of just hinting at it. At least in my ideal world

Soft fade to black with the music fading (as the 80's loved to do)

The Black Dog - Taylor Swift

I see this one from Warren's perspective immediately after Inverted Tower betrayal.

I move through the world with the heartbroken / My longings stay unspoken / And I may never open up the way I did for you

Sad clips of Warren -> flashback clips of them being cute in the Knights. I really thinking of them every time I hear that last line. Bc will Warren ever open up like that again after betrayal/deception?

And all of those best laid plans / You said I needed a brave man / Then proceeded to play him / Until I believed it too

Flashback clips again of the Knights era w/Vanessa being strong/kind etc to Warren. She's acting! An actor. This fits so well guys u don't even know

And it kills me / I just don't understand... / How you don't miss me / In the shower / And remember / How my rain-soaked body / Was shaking

"And it kills me" -> scene of vanessa handing Warren the sword in Inverted Tower and then for lines after: Ideally a rain kiss scene! (But I don't know of one) Other scenes work as well

Do you hate me?

Transition where old flashback Warren cuts to sad Warren. You know like where they're in the same kind of position so the transition is like seamless? I've watched too many edits

Was it hazing? / For a cruel fraternity I pledged / And I still mean it

Fraternity -> Knights of the Dawn (I mean like oh my gee yes!!!) This part could have the audio of like Warren reciting the pledge (or Kendra when she was being initiated) underneath

Old habits die screaming

This has the iconic huge like drums or whatever so I think jump cuts of various clips of vanessa + Warren would be perfect, and it's all the really dramatic, big scenes

Six weeks of breathing clean air / I still miss the smoke

Since the song gets quiet, the scenes get "quiet." Clips of mundane things like Warren pouring coffee, waiting at baggage terminal (in GotSP), stuff like that. Also I wrote a fic with this title about Warren too 🫣

Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke? / Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes / And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons

Clips of Inverted Tower Battle, on house we have establishing shot of Warren's cottage, and clothes had a shot of the knights of dawn garb

Even if I die screaming

Warren falling through the air half-dead in inverted tower battle scene

And I hope you hear it

Cut to Vanessa watching him fall and pierce the big cat

Honorable mentions:

guilty as sin by tswift (can you tell a certain album came out when I started writing the warrenessa fic?

bite the hand by boy genius (this is quite literally the title of the vanessa fic. for good, good reason!!!!)

and ofc iconic "always an angel never a god" audio from boy genius's "not strong enough" as well

[professorspork]

director's commentary sdau emerald scene

You know, I really should have seen this coming but I didn't.

Let's put it under a cut bc moderate spice and considerable length:

This scene went through more iterations and re-writes than the vast majority of its brethren.

I dug around in our chat history to find the exact moment we generated the idea, because this one wouldn't have happened without you. and you know what I learned?

it dates to mid-January 2023, which is literally before I started posting newsbees. this idea is OLD. it is some of the EARLIEST MATERIAL of sdau.

I told you I was reading this for fic research in the middle of an unrelated discussion about Emerald; you then joked that all you could think about was Emerald at the sex club giving vytal fic vibes, just bored out of her skull while people throw themselves at her, and I said I hadn't come up with a role for her yet.

you: emerald would try to go to the sex club after getting out of a toxic relationship the way blake did and then she'd be there for 15 minutes and nope the fuck out and run away me: which, actually-- she could be one of blake's one-off partners where after about 5 minutes blake's like "you are allowed to leave we really don't have to do this" and em's like OHTHANKGOD

I briefly considered a much crueler idea in which Blake witnessed Emerald and Cinder doing a scene together, but we quickly agreed that the original idea was the better one.

I haven't been able to find chat history about it, so I'm moderately certain that I didn't tell you about the fact that I'd decided to read poor Emerald for filth and give her the Mommy kink until I started showing you the scene in its original incarnation, in mid-July of 2023 (which has the benefit of showing just how long this project has taken me, lmao).

me: emerald. sweetheart. when you say mommy kink most people assume that means you wanna be coddled and not that you want to be negged. just. just saying me: emerald do you know what mothers are me: emerald

That first version of the scene differed in several keys ways from the final product, but the most crucial of those was that in the first go-around, Blake actually agreed to give Emerald her number. Em asked for it, and Blake said "Sure, I'd like that," and then the scene ended.

I sat on that for *checks time stamps* approximately 29 hours before I broke the news to you that, upon reflection, I didn't buy it; I just couldn't believe that Blake would be in a healthy enough place mentally to do that. the better and more accurate thing for the story would be for Blake to chicken out and then regret it, because she couldn't be for Em what Sun had been for her.

you: oh no why are you doing that it makes me sad me: because if blake is in a cool enough place to do that with em her actually exchanging numbers with yang doesn't hit as hard you: but now I'm so sad me: i mean it's still ME i'm sure i'll find a way for her to encounter em again before the end

(hmmm. Did I do that in the end? I SUPPOSE WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT, DEAR READERS.)

from there, once I'd figured out what the scene was truly for, it was still a lot of effort and tweaking before I got it to read how I wanted to: threading the simultaneous needles of being lowkey arousing but also inarguably unsettling from the jump, so that you're seeing those red flags but maybe, like Blake, thinking they can be overcome until it's very obvious they Can't. I struggled with how to frame it so that it came through that Blake was being... mmm, let's say reckless without crossing the line into Blake being irresponsible, and I wasn't happy with my first stabs at it. in the very first draft, after Em says says she doesn't want to discuss her burn scar and adds "There, that's a boundary, since you wanted one so bad," the prose goes 'There is absolutely no way they are fucking at this point, given Emerald's attitude, and… Blake doesn't know why she stays.'

Which: why would I tell the reader that? It's way too on the nose, and drains the scene of all tension! it also made the spanking moment read as overtly didactic in a way that I didn't like and hadn't intended, so. I tried to drill down into what I thought it was about.

adding the flashback moments to Blake's encounter with Trifa helped considerably; that wasn't in the first draft at all, though the fact that she'd had that encounter was already canon. taking a look at it again, I realized weaving those two together was an opportunity to show why Blake "lets" Emerald make this mistake and indulges her, because it's the same thing Blake went through and she understands it. massaging the tempo and timbre of my vocab took some doing so Blake wasn't in full-on panic attack mode and thus making it all seem WORSE than it already was.

and the final thing I changed was just... twisting that knife more and adding to their rapport. the original draft was brief; it went right from Emerald giving the Cinder backstory to Blake being like "congrats on past tense" and then it was the phone number ask. it was important to me to elaborate on why these two had chemistry, on how they were parallel, and on just how much they liked each other and vibed-- on just how much of an opportunity Blake was missing out on. so Blake laughing more at Em's jokes, and getting the Mercury context, that all came later.

in total, I think this scene had like five or six discrete iterations before reaching its final form.

[fiercynn]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hi i'm deepa! i'm indian-american, in my 30s, queer, and agender – please use my name (either deepa or fiercynn is fine) instead of pronouns when referring to me!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched the whole show in the course of about 36 hours just about two weeks after the finale had aired, in february 2022! i joined bbs fandom on twitter soon after and have been there ever since, but i’ve only really been interacting on tumblr in the last few months

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa…i'm a traditionalist ig lol

favorite character(s)

it’s so hard to choose but i think it has to be pran! i love his pining and his cockiness and his anxiety and his kindness and his grumpy faces. really channeling pat right now aren’t i

favorite episode(s)

episode 5 for obvious reasons; my second-favorite is a tie between episode 3 and episode 8 i think

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, episode 3 bus stop scene, episode 8 backstage apology scene, and episode 9 picnic bench hand-holding scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

LET INKPA KISS GDI

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

ughhhhhh SO HARD TO CHOOSE and i think i'll do a longer rec list sometime but here are some of the earliest fanworks i engaged with that really set the stage for how i think about bbs

dynamic (fic, patpran) by riddles2 on ao3: one of the first fics i read in the fandom, it’s pat’s pov through episode 5 and it’s absolutely seminal imo

international love song (fanart/animation, patpran) by @architectxengineer: science is one of those incredibly multitalented people who writes, makes fanart, and animates?? among other things??? and this animation is sooooooo gorgeous and makes my heart absolutely melt

same page (vid, patpran) by dkyth73 on youtube: such a good fanvid of the show that p’aof himself tweeted about it!!!!

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

traffic was slow for the crash years (fic, patpran): gotta plug my baby, right? this is my patpran fake dating au which is 80k words and was so fun to create!

we both know you’re my only dream (fic, patpran): on the other end of the length spectrum, this 1k fic is one of my favorite things i've written ever

just being friendly (vid, patpran) co-vidded with @scribescribe: yes i know this is an msp song but we made the vid before msp aired!! i think it’s very cute hehe

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

since “just being friendly” is already obvious from me and scribe making a vid to it lol, i'm going to say “keeping tabs” by niki, which is extremely pran-coded. like. look at the lyrics. doesn't it seem like it was written to be about pran’s feelings at boarding school, where he misses pat desperately and hopes pat’s thinking of him but is also trying to convince himself that pat’s forgotten him and that everything pran wanted from him was just a delusion on his part. PRAN 😭 😭 😭

idk anything else you want us to know?

i have opinions about pran’s sweaters

okay i'm literally going to tag all of my tumblr mutuals that i think are still in the fandom (if i missed anyone sorry!!), but also if you want to do the meme consider yourself tagged! please don’t let this flop lol 🤞🏽

@citystoryscapes @nicolasechs @architectxengineer @mahuhumaling @manogirl @galauvant @miscellar @monamay @dancing-out-in-space @melto @incandescentflower @loveongsa @dimplesandfierceeyes @geonbaeeee @faillen @cinnamonseadragon @inkpaa @yourunwiththewolves @prany @pranpats @teesemomma @iathefurrr @inventedfangirling @sharingfandoms @lamonnaie @maychild @thegayneurodivergentagenda @mistergreaves @dudeyuri @nyttvera @thecriers @threezoz @wontbotherrn @not0nmain