#this was made at the start of Covid

[ambrieldoespoems]

Life’s Blessing

Sometimes I lie awake at night

Wondering why my chest feels so tight

Why I can't seem to open up to anyone.

Why life just doesn't seem fun

People say that life is a blessing and I know that it is

But wonder why the universe chose me of all

people to live.

It's a one in a million shot that I made it here

today.

So why do I not want to stay?

I want to go to a place far away, where I'm not so awkward. I don't trip on my feet.

Where everything just feels more complete.

And I know a lot of people have it much worse than I

So I don't understand why I want to die.

Except I don't really want to die, I just don't want to live.

But maybe I still have more to give.

Maybe that's why I'm on this earth today.

Maybe I still have something to say.

Things will get better as life moves on.

Maybe there's hope for the future and that hope lies in me.

If I go on to become who God called me to be.

[unknownhomosapien]

Lord Indoril Nerevar Mor(a)rowInd

just awakened -> some time later

[heartorbit]

always by your side

[religion-trauma]

eh this is a vent blog i can do whatever SO

LONG COVID FUCKING SUCKS BALLS

when i first heard it i was like "huh, that must suck. but it only lasts a few months so its not that bad"

AND THEN A YEAR WENT BY and scientists were like "oh fuck some people still have it. uh. oh no. it can last a while"

but I DIDNT KNOW THAT! I was living my life! And then I got covid for the second time. and it never fucking left. I haven't had my lungs be pain-free for a whole day in FUCKING YEARS

and the worst part? my general family doctor thinks its not a big deal. at least, that's what he ACTS like. he's like "oh i'm sure the constant pain ur in is just long covid. and i can't do anything phsycial that's immediate like medication sooo deal with it :) just exercise more :)."

next visit, 6 months later: "oh it's not gone? weird. it'll be gone in a few months. exercise so you can get stronger and banish it"

next visit, 6 months later: "ur still in pain and tired all the time? uh. exercise more."

next visit, 6 months later: "still?? u need to eat better and exercise more. ok bye."

me, next visit: "ya know what? it's been like 2 years. he's not gonna listen. i wont bother bringing it up"

so i stopped bring it up. i'm tired of him saying "exercise!" while i have repeatedly presented him symptoms that make it hard to do exercise anywhere near consistently. like. what even COULD he do if this turns out to be chronic? i know what he WOULD do. exercise exercise exercise. no other solutions offered, no advice on HOW to exercise with chest pain, just exercise.

[sprimpfriedrice]

White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:

It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.

Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?

Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?

Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.

You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.

And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.

And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:

So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?

I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity

[goldkirk]

All the years of my life I never had negative side effects from vaccines, aside from totally reasonable soreness (and in the case of tetanus, more intense soreness for several days) and yet specifically the COVID vaccine hits me like varying levels of a truck crash. I am so amazed at how this goes. Nothing else ever makes me feel actually sick after g vaccinations but COVID ones absolutely whack me. The worst time I was lying on the floor crying with ice packs over my joints while I ran a fever overnight. I’m so glad this time it’s just a huge amount of shoulder pain and tightness and the overall flu feeling and spine joint aches, not all the joints in my body yelling or me getting conked out by a fever on the kitchen floor. Meanwhile my flu shot spot isn’t even sore 😂

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed

[mrsterlingeverything]

Sick again third time in 2 months i am dying now i am dead now what did u think of me..

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

[paarksunghoon]

hiii, i saw your tags on the post about not being able to give good ideas justice.. AND THE HEESEUNG VAMPIRE AU IDEA OMG? IT LITERALLY SOUNDS SO GOODSKDJFKHF IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A STUPID IDEA AT ALL

i have a two page outline of this story but lost inspo when I started thinking about the actual plot points until I posted that…I know exactly how this story ends and what happens to humanity too kdnxkxndns

THANK YOU FOR LIKING IT!!! I wanted it to be a multi-part story (maybe 4-5 chapters max) but who knows!!! not me, that’s for sure.

anyway here are the tags in case anyone’s interested:

[icewindandboringhorror]

just a few little bits from the past few days

[bitegore]

ok this isnt meant to be a dig or anything but it's always really funny to me when people like just cracking 30 are like "omg you're in your early twenties, you're a babyyyyyy"

babe you're like barely 30, you're a baby too. You're a blink and a half older than me. I spend too much time around people over 50, the difference between 23 and 33 is a few years at a job and a little more distance from living in your parents' house but it's like, nothing. the gap closes every time you breathe and every time i move. the difference between you and me is like one-fifteenth the difference between you and my dad's friend Joe or whatever. don't worry you'll get to live more life too, but don't kid yourself.

and this is doubled when it's coming from a 25-year-old currently experiencing a crisis of age because they're soooo old, they're 25, the horror! You are twenty-five. We have an age difference of three years. Your concern over this is embarrassing for you and highly entertaining for me. But like don't kid yourself here. You are 25. You are a like a fucking baby to me.

[42wv]

I really like Yusaku Fujiki

[nicmares404]

Bruh, this is the third time i've been sick in the last 2 months. Viruses have to actually be targeting me at this point, cause this is just ridiculous (⊙_◎)

Like yeah I have a weaker immune system, but I'm literally not even going anywhere! I guess whatever traces my sister brings home from school (she's in HS) is enough. To make matters worse, my toddler brother is about to start pre-school. I sense so many more illnesses in my future O|￣|_

[savage-rhi]

You don't know how happy I was to see them and how happy they were to see me.

[linoguy]

love that little period where artists/bands/groups become more aware that they're gonna be performing these songs in front of an audience so their songs start to incorporate more lyrics and beats to get the audience engaged