#this was made at the start of Covid

[ambrieldoespoems]

Life’s Blessing

Sometimes I lie awake at night

Wondering why my chest feels so tight

Why I can't seem to open up to anyone.

Why life just doesn't seem fun

People say that life is a blessing and I know that it is

But wonder why the universe chose me of all

people to live.

It's a one in a million shot that I made it here

today.

So why do I not want to stay?

I want to go to a place far away, where I'm not so awkward. I don't trip on my feet.

Where everything just feels more complete.

And I know a lot of people have it much worse than I

So I don't understand why I want to die.

Except I don't really want to die, I just don't want to live.

But maybe I still have more to give.

Maybe that's why I'm on this earth today.

Maybe I still have something to say.

Things will get better as life moves on.

Maybe there's hope for the future and that hope lies in me.

If I go on to become who God called me to be.

[heartorbit]

always by your side

[sprimpfriedrice]

White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:

It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.

Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?

Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?

Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.

You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.

And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.

And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:

So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?

I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

[bitegore]

ok this isnt meant to be a dig or anything but it's always really funny to me when people like just cracking 30 are like "omg you're in your early twenties, you're a babyyyyyy"

babe you're like barely 30, you're a baby too. You're a blink and a half older than me. I spend too much time around people over 50, the difference between 23 and 33 is a few years at a job and a little more distance from living in your parents' house but it's like, nothing. the gap closes every time you breathe and every time i move. the difference between you and me is like one-fifteenth the difference between you and my dad's friend Joe or whatever. don't worry you'll get to live more life too, but don't kid yourself.

and this is doubled when it's coming from a 25-year-old currently experiencing a crisis of age because they're soooo old, they're 25, the horror! You are twenty-five. We have an age difference of three years. Your concern over this is embarrassing for you and highly entertaining for me. But like don't kid yourself here. You are 25. You are a like a fucking baby to me.

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[42wv]

I really like Yusaku Fujiki

[nicmares404]

Bruh, this is the third time i've been sick in the last 2 months. Viruses have to actually be targeting me at this point, cause this is just ridiculous (⊙_◎)

Like yeah I have a weaker immune system, but I'm literally not even going anywhere! I guess whatever traces my sister brings home from school (she's in HS) is enough. To make matters worse, my toddler brother is about to start pre-school. I sense so many more illnesses in my future O|￣|_

[savage-rhi]

You don't know how happy I was to see them and how happy they were to see me.

[linoguy]

love that little period where artists/bands/groups become more aware that they're gonna be performing these songs in front of an audience so their songs start to incorporate more lyrics and beats to get the audience engaged

[k-illdarlings]

[doctorwhoisadhd]

one thing about me is i have no idea what i know because i have no idea what is like a normal amount of knowledge about anything

[confusedlucifer]

got some third hand gossip about one of my exes who after we broke up spent considerable amount of time and energy lying about me to anyone who would listen with the goal to alienate me and my then-new partner from our social group and yes they were very much successful in that effort. and now the hot goss is they have basically continued to alienate everyone else from that friend group for the past five years is like. man i can't even feel any kind of schadenfreude or anything its just kind of sad.

[bunnyb34r]

I miss wearing lipstick :( I had a huge collection of liquid lipsticks before covid :(((

[desolatehands]

Hi! I hate to have to make a post like this, but I am in some need of assistance. I'm a disabled individual living on VERY limited income and most of my income has been going towards moving expenses as I am leaving this current housing situation in two months. I have already spent most of my paycheck on mailing off valuables to my next location. The next step is to get my furbaby the things he needs to travel comfortably with me.

The goal is to have him with me in the cabin to help not only him, but myself too with my anxiety. It's difficult traveling alone as an autistic individual, so my cat is my best bet in keeping cool without turning to opiates as a one day prescription.

Here is the amazon list, if anyone feels like helping.

And here are a couple photos of Steven hard as a rock Stone. He's a very sweet and loving cat. But, I am in a very poor state financially.

My roommate is not the best and has 'forgotten' about the cash I have given her to purchase specific things for the cats in the house. Instead using that money to buy cigarettes.

While I don't feel comfortable talking about too many details, I can comfortably say I live with a hoarder, that I am blamed for things out of my control ( like the bills she should be paying w my rent ), so on and so forth.

I'm incredibly sorry to ask for this help, but my hands are kind of tied. It's been insanely difficult to get out of an abusive situation while being disabled.