#this was also brought up while we were watching some episodes (exposing my friends who haven't seen it to the show's best and worst)

[jpegcompressor]

i told the gang about my dean winchester fake id that i carry with me everywhere and they haven't been the same since

[arlakos]

The High Road: A counterpoint to one of the most commonly used Salt Takes for Adrien.

This isn't really a salt fic idea, but since we are on the topic of salt on this blog, I'd like to take a moment to talk about a scene that has largely been used out of contex ever since Chameleon came out, and that is the infamous high road scene that has since been used to death for every Adrien salt story

For those who are unaware of this scene (or perhaps are unfamiliar with the canon version), in the episode Chameleon of Sesason 3, Marinette is about to go expose a plot hole in one of Lila's many fabrications, only for Adrien to stop her by stating that it won't change Lila for the better (Full Transcript Below). Keep this transcript in mind because I'll be referencing it a lot.

Now, this scene doesn't seem like something to be mad over, but the the whole episode of Chameleon has twisted a lot of people's perceptions of certain characters for the worse. This particular scene just happens to be one that changed people's pereceptions of Adrien.

However, I think its actually somewhat unjustified. I feel that in many ways, Chameleon as a whole has been misrepresented for what changes it has actually brought into the show, and I feel that it's easy to take a lot of moments in the episode out of context, especially when emotions come into play. The episode transcript actually happened to be leaked before it was supposed to be relased, so a lot of people already made up their minds about what this episode was about before it was released. It's easy to hate on this episode when you're friends in discord have watched it before you and have started to shout buzzwords such as "The class betrayed Marinette!" or "Adrien is a monster!", etc etc. I would know, since that was how I found out about the episode in the first place, and watching it for the first time didn't change my initial perceptions.

Today, I would like to take a moment to take the infamous high road scene and talk about what it meant for the salty portion of the fandom, before taking a metaphoically sledgehammer and slamming some misconceptions about Adrien from the perspective of salty people. Sure, they're other scenes that could be looked at, but since every salt fic tends to reuse this plot point, I feel it deserves its own deconstruction.

1. The High-Road scene is proof that Adrien is an asshole!

Now this statement is a bit of a buzzword since the actual reasons for people disliking this scene can vary, but to be fair, the reaction to this scene is also more nuanced as well.

In truth, a lot of people already had issues with Adrien/Chat Noir as a whole (for reasons that I won't elaborate here since it would be worth its own post), but this scene seemed to open the floodgates with hatred for our secondary protagonist out of his percieved inaction, since many people now had dislike for Adrien, while those who hated him prior were more than happy to provide fuel for the fire. After the episode was released, these ideas began to merge together, resulting in this belief that Adrien has always been an asshole, and that the Chameleon scene was simply the final straw, and that if the show was written by a good writer (read: anyone who hated the episode), Marinette would actually ditch his ass!

Now, its debatable on whether Adrien had writing issues prior to this point, but I feel that using this scene to justify hatred for him is outright slander for several reasons:

First of all, Adrien never suggested for Marinette to take the high road if we are being logistical about it. He only complimented her on that regard, telling her she did a good job for "taking the high road", and that was after he sat next to her to show he was by her side.

His actual message to Marinette was that it wasn't worth it to try expose Lila at that moment (and to be fair, it wouldn't have worked, more on that later though) because all it would do is make her double down on her behavior. Plus, trying to expose her in front of everyone would just hurt Lila more than help everyone else, which is, if anything, not untrue.

Overall, the advice Adrien gave to Marinette was not meant out of a desire to hurt anyone (least of all Marinette), but was out of a genuine desire to help resolve a situation and prevent Marinette from doing something that would not have helped the situation. Even if he does have other character flaws, this situation was by no means a reason to villainize him for it.

2. Adrien prefers Lila over Marinette, thats why he told the latter to take the high road!

Again, another idea that is found in fanfics, but is ultimately untrue in canon.

While Adrien doesn't believe Lila at all from the beginning of the episode, he isn't exactly just letting Lila's actions slide either; his stance comes from that of believing that Lila being decietful will do nothing to actually help her make friends. However, rather than confronting her angrily like Marinette does, Adrien instead tries to be friendly with her and try offer Lila some advice to try and change, albiet to no avail.

Now, some people might argue that Lila doesn't deserve kindness considering her threat to Marinette just moments ago, but it should be also stated that Adrien knows NOTHING about this: as far as he's aware, Lila is a transfer student looking to make friends, but has a wrong way of doing so (so in a way, she's not unlike him, from his POV at least), so he's just trying to help her, rather than attempt to force her out in the open.

(Quick tibit though, if Adrien knew what Lila did to Marinette, he would probably be more inclined to help her and protect his friends, given that he was willing to 'sacrifice' himself to get Marinette un-expelled in the Ladybug episode)

By the end of the episode Adrien is obviously dissapointed in Lila continuing to act the way that she is, but ultimately refuses to sink to Lila's level in order to teach her a lesson. As childish as it is (and it should be considering Adrien is a TEEN) Adrien believes that Lila's deceptions will ultimately come back to bite her (Adrien even tells her this himself, see below.), but trying to expose her in front of everyone else will do more harm to Lila than it will help others, hence his methods of speaking to her privately about it.

3. Adrien's reasoning is horrible and stupid! He deserves to pay for it!

This reasoning is the one I find the most dissapointing, partly because it inspired The Karma of Lies story (Written by CartoonAddict564), and also because while Adrien's reasoning can come off as naive, it is by no means stupid, nor should he have to suffer for having a different viewpoint for Marinette. But to understand, you need to think of Adrien in terms of his character.

Adrien is not just a celebrity, but also a child with a very controlling father, who pretty much controls and manages his day to day life with the help of his secretary. As a result of his popularity, Adrien has to be very careful with what he says or does, not only because it would reflect poorly onto his father's company, but it would also force his father to step in. As the Collector has shown, Adrien being able to even LEAVE the home is something that could easily be revoked at any time, and being Cat Noir has only loosened the bars on his cell, not remove them completely. Adrien has very little to gain by confronting Lila, but everything to lose, which is in direct contrast to Marinette having everything to lose by letting Lila walk by.

So in the face of all that, plus the situation he is in now, why would he not act passive and provide advice to try mitigate conflict rather than escalate it?

Now whether or not that should be seen as selfish is debatable, it's ultimately not out of character for Adrien to try and provide more passive options to deal with Lila rather than go for the most violent option. You could even argue that Adrien's actions are also out kindness to Marinette, since (in his eyes at least) it could get her in trouble with her own parents if they try and confront Lila violently.

At worst, Adrien's passiveness is a result of his controlled upbringing. At best? He was just trying to help without causing conflict.

4. Adrien shouldn't have stopped Marinette from confronting Lila!

.... im sorry to say this, but yes he absolutely should have.

Marinette was about to confront Lila over which ear her supposed tinnitus was in. Aside from the fact trying to expose her on this alone would not have worked, this would have just resulted in Marinette becoming more estranged from her classmates in this situation. If Marinette should have confronted Lila about her lying, this was DEFINTELY NOT the way to do it.

This isn't to say that Marinette could not have confronted Lila, but this moment simply was not it. There were better alternatives to Marinette that she could employ in the future had she thought of doing so (such as coming to Alya as Ladybug and revealing that her frienship with Lila is a lie), or carrying a voice recorder to record any threats made by Lila.

As uncathartic as the situation was, from a writing standpoint Adrien's inteference ultimately helped Marinette keep her friendships in the long run, while avoiding making a fool of herself with a battle she simply could not win.

5. It's Adrien's fault that Marinette didn't go after Lila! Marinette would have been better if she brushed him off!

This sounds crazy, but this is a genuine point that people seem to mention when it comes to their reasons for writing salt fics. Even if Adrien's attempts to dissaude Marinette were out of concern rather than malice, people still condemn Adrien for pushing Marinette off that path of going after Lila. In their eyes, Marinette didn't get her immediate revenge for what Lila did, and Lila herself was allowed to continue manipulating the class. All of this becomes Adrien's fault by virtue of being the one to deny this from happening, denying the fans their catharsis.

However, the question I ask it that for all the blame they give to Adrien in this situation ... how come nobody blames Marinette at all for the same thing?

See, despite people argue that Adrien manipulated Marinette into not going after Lila, Marinette isn't necassarily gullible or stupid. If Marinette really thought that Lila was a threat worth going after, she could and would have easily found a way to take Lila down and get her removed, with or without Adrien's support (given she made a similar plan in season 5 for when Gabriel tried to get the Kwamis to lead him to Marinette). She wouldn't even need a miraculous to do so given she can make plans without transforming, and most of Lila's lies aren't particularly smart, they just can't be immediately discredited without proof.

And it can't even be argued that Adrien took advantage of Marinette's love for him (whether intentionally or not). Marinette has shown that even though she does value her friends, she doesn't need to rely on the validation of others to do whatever she feels is right (given that she argued against Alya and others in Risk when it came to their belief that Adrien was fine, even though she was partly amped by an akuma at the time). And if Marinette did think that Adrien was wrong, she probably wouldn't have continued to crush on him anymore.

Also its kind of lowkey sexist? Like, Marinette can probably make her own decisions, she doesn't need someone to dictate her own actions given she's the leader of a superhero team?

Ultimately, Marinette made the choice not to go after Lila. Perhaps she thought that Lila wasn't worth it. Maybe she thought that taking down Lila wasn't worth the time and stress. Maybe she ended up agreeing with Adrien and thought that Lila would expose herself sooner rather than later with her own deceptions. Either way, Marinette can make her own decisions, and she ultimately thought that going after Lila was not a good idea, for whatever reason.

Now, some people might be upset about this idea that Marinette is to blame, but people can't just play the blame game and expect their target to lose. It would honestly be preferrable to say that both Adrien and Marinette made a decision that (for better or worse) thought was good at the time and that neither should be judged for it, but the fandom doesn't seem to care for that because that means their salt fics would be invalid.

Thus, since people want to blame Adrien for apparently "manipulating" Marinette, Marinette should get equal blame for allowing herself to be manipulated by Adrien. Sucks to hear it, but since nobody calls out Marinette on her shit, I might as well be the first. Sorry if it triggers you ��\_(ツ)_/¯.

So ... what does this all mean?

It means that my boy Adrien is innocent.

He meant no harm by suggesting that Marinette not go after Lila, nor did he do it because he took Lila's side over Marinette's. At best, he was unaware of how evil Lila was and thought she was misunderstood, and at worse he defaulted to using the same ideas that he uses to protect what limited freedoms he had, and offered it to Marinette as geunine advice. Marinette isn't a pushover either, meaning that not only did she also think what Adrien said was a good idea, but the fandom is inadvertently being sexist by implying she can't be independent and can't make her own decisions, given that she's shown her own independence multiple times. At best, both characters made a dumb decision that they thought was good, but neither can be soley responsible.

Ultimately, Chameleon was an episode that gave Adrien (and whoever else was targeted) a bad rep due to the kneejerk reaction everyone had to the episode due to Lila's lies, myself included. In truth, nothing of what happened in the episode had any actual long term effects, since Marinette still kept her friends and Lila didn't end up playing any major role for nearly 2 seasons, at least until season 5 finally got rid of 'Lila' and set up 'Cerise' to be the new Butterfly villain.

It took me a long while to put this belief into words, and it may be 2 seasons too late, but at least I can upload it now knowing that this truth could possible be shared with the world. Maybe it will stop the excess of salt fics in the world, and allow for new salt free works to be made. Who knows?

Anyways, I hope you found this to be an interesting read as I had writing it!

[jvstheworld]

Due South Re-watch: part 4. The end of the pilot episode.

Finally coming to the end of this and on the last 2 pages of my notes. Yay.

•Firstly let’s talk about the landscape shots because damn they look good. The cinematography is really well done. You do get a sense of how vast and open the Territories in Canada are. It’s such a stark contrast with how Chicago looks (even though the show was filmed in Toronto). In Chicago everything looks cramped and chaotic with too many people and too much noise, but when Fraser is home it’s quiet, serene, and he’s the only one there for miles. I can see the appeal. 

•So we finally get some exposition about what’s been going on. Basically the government backed dam had a flaw in it. It couldn’t hold all the water it was supposed to. To rectify this they periodically let water out to flood the land, but this kills a lot of the wildlife that lives there, hence why they had all died and/or disappeared. A few people knew about this, Gerard being one, and Bob Fraser being the other. They were bribed to keep quiet, Gerard did but Bob didn’t want to and was killed for it. Drake was hired by Gerard to take care of it. It’s also why he was they only one opposed to Fraser going to Chicago.

•How did a man walk into someone’s office and leave a dead caribou on a desk and no one notice? How bad is your security if someone can get away with that?

•Ray, an American, shows up with lots of guns. Because of course he would. However due to budget constraints they can’t use them all (Here’s looking at you Deadpool).

•Best friends punch people together. That is a fact.

•It is not real chase scene without at least one explosive from a vehicle. That’s the rules. 

•After the chase ends we get all call back to the opening lines of the show, but this time with a happier ending. Fraser gets his man. But just leaves Gerard bleeding out while they take Dief to the vet, because Fraser is a good wolf dad. 

•While Gerard is rightly hated by people, Fraser gets hate too because he’s the one who turned him in? He did the right thing. He got justice for his father and exposed corruption and a huge cover up by the government that was damaging the environment. But for that he gets practically kicked out of Canada? The sad thing is that’s actually pretty realistic.

•The episode ends, the theme music plays and Fraser gets his $100 back from the guy at the airport. A happy ending.

I call this: How to intro a TV show, brought to you by 1993.

For the next time I will keep it to 1 post per episode, because this was actually a lot of work for me.    

[aizenat]

This is such an unhinged and anti-feminist take. I was going to ignore you because your completely uneducate rants are obviously attention seeking, but this will at least let me get my thoughts out on the fucker of this show so let’s go. 

The discourse around ‘the idol’ is really facinating to me (it’s also completely rancid and braindead of course) because while people are screaming about it as if it’s some unprecedented misogyny almost every single review (sometimes even headlines) of it i’ve seen reeks of such exhausting type of internalized misogyny itself like they’re projecting here,

That’s not what internalized misogyny is. Is that where the mainstream idea of feminism is now? Feminist critique of art and film is now instantly internalized misogyny? 

Internalized misogyny is basically female misogynists. It’s women who support and endorse the patriarchy despite being women themselves. It’s not having a problem with the portrayal of woman in a story. Tradwives and fundamentalist wives who tell women to submit to men have internalized misogyny. Women who think women shouldn’t be leaders in politics, the church, communities, etc have internalized misogyny. Women who don’t believe women who come out with rape/abuse claims have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when women internalize the misogynistic beliefs that the patriarchy spews to keep women oppressed. Whatever the fuck you think internalized misogyny is isn’t what that term is, which really undermines your entire argument here. But I’ll continue. 

people have such a weird negative fixation on lily’s body, her tits and nipples and female sexuality in general (that they ofc accuse the show of having) it’s literally all they talk about (were they fighting off hard ons in the theatre like what’s going on). because you know god forbid a woman shows some nipples (i go around topless around my house all the time when it’s really hot like a guy, unnecessary nudity i guess?), the fact that this is still considered 'nudity’, free the nipple truly failed us.

What a disingenuous take to say that people have a “weird negative fixation on lily’s body” when the show itself hypefocuses on her body! And in a clearly pornographic way! Lily isn’t just walking around topless because it’s hot out; she’s wearing outfits while at home (where she should be allowed to be comfortable) that are designed to specifically sexualize her! She wears a tiny skirt that shows off her ass and a bra-like top so small that in the dance scene in the first episode, after being lifted and brought back down, we see Lily adjust her boobs because her nipple was about to fall out! 

If it was about just being comfortable, why wouldn’t she wear comfortable clothes while practicing a dance routine that has her being lifted and flung all over the place? They could have put her in biker shorts and a sports bra that would have still let them sexualize her body (close ups on her ass as they already do, etc), but even THAT was too much covering up for Sam and Abel. In later scenes, we see her working out in a leotard (and not like the stylish ones of the 80s that was popular where they had LEGGINGS and stuff to cover their bits). Even if we excuse that one, in the last episode, she is working out in a thong and again not wearing a sports bra. As any female athlete or gym rat, that is NOT conducive to a good workout! And I say that as a former athlete/gym rat myself! And I don’t have particularly big boobs, and even then, trying to move around without proper undies that don’t ride up your ass (aka, the complete opposite of a thong) and a sports bra (or SOME sort of supportive bra) HURTS. It’s uncomfortable. Even in that last scene, she’s doing a workout where she’s crawling on the ground (with knee guards? okay) and the shot focuses on her exposed ass! 

While I was watching the finale, I was taking shots of the outfits they put Lily in to show my friend and in the scene of the weird ass showcase, she’s wearing a dress that has her entire ass exposed to the point that when she does something innocuous as going over to grab Abe’s character and pull him outside, her entire ass is exposed to the camera as she bends over. The styling has it that anyway Lily moves instantly sexualizes her. 

People’s reaction to this is not a negative reaction to her body itself; it’s the fact that it’s always on display in a pornographic way even in moments where it doesn't make sense. In that the last episode where we see her go into her label, she’s wearing another see through dress that shows off her ass. Literally as she’s walking by people in suits and ties in cubicles looking at her. Have you seen candid/paparazzi pics of celebs in public shopping or whatever? Yes, they look nice, but they’re not wearing shit like that! I even looked up street outfits from sexual artists like Megan Thee Stallion, Saweetie, and Doja and they ALL wear clothes that cover their tits and ass when they’re in street clothes. Saweetie seems to favor baggy clothes in public, and Megan covers her boobs and butt and relies on the outfits being form fitting to show off her curves. The latter is how you would expect a sexual woman to dress in public: still showing off her curves but still covered up so her tits and ass aren’t hanging out all the time. 

They do NONE of that with Lily’s character. When she’s home, she’s not just walking around naked; she’s wearing tops that barely cover her nipples, skirts that can’t cover her ass (which as  big booty bitch who actually struggles with that because of my big booty but still manages, idk how a small booty bitch can’t figure it out), and her going-out fits are see-through at best. These outfits may be cute for a playboy shoot, or even a red carpet event, but just to go shopping? Just to go visit her label’s office? What???? 

People are not criticizing her body, but how her body is stylized and filmed in a pornographic way. Your inability to tell the difference is just poor reading comprehension regarding the critiques. 

what else do they talk about? oh yeah, she’s masturbating in it (horror!), there’s a photo with cum on her face (outrage like this is lily’s real actual photo) and some kinky consensual relationship with abel’s character. this is all i can remember, such misogyny.

Another disingenuous take. I am a HUGE proponent of masturbation. My followers know I encourage it, especially for women. I collect sex toys and use them often. I don’t have ONE singular issue with masturbation. What is weird about the masturbations scene is how pornographic they are and how it’s obviously less about this woman being sexual and expressing it and more about making her masturbating look sexy to men. When I masturbate, I’m not doing it in a way that “looks” good. I’m focused on it feeling good. If a man were to watch me masturbate, he’d probably be bored because I don’t do it in a way to look cute. 

Is that what we see? No, we see her masturbate with ice, twice in one episode (but then never again??? Interesting) all while choking herself (literally never did that before; and I doubt most women who aren’t porn sick would). It’s gratuitous male fap fodder, straight up. 

Also, at least this was back in the day when I was young and dumb and into bdsm, don’t kink relationships have things like safe words? Don’t you talk about limits and such from the beginning. I know 50 Shades got everyone thinking they can just do kinky shit, but if it was actually the kinky shit people had a problem with, you’d see critiques over the lack of emphasis over “safe, sane, and consensual” like you did with 50 Shades. 

Also, you can’t have it both ways with Abel and Lily’s characters’ relationship. Either it’s a consensual bdsm relationship, or he’s manipulating and taking advantage of her. The narrative can’t have it both ways, though it tries. And all it does is make the argument AGAINST kink that it’s always about one person taking advantage sexually of another party. Like, I’m just going to take a shot in the dark and say you’ve never had an actual bdsm relationship irl before, and therefore all you know about it is what you see in porn where they cut out the parts where the actors talk about their limits and safewords and shit. 

why do people infantilize women and treat them like little children with no mind of their own that can’t consent to anything because this is really where this stems from. when you look at some of the conversations it’s like the actress is being exploited literally whenever she shows boobs on screen by the big bad male director who is taking advantage of her by asking her consent lmao.

The most disingenuous take in this whole rant. Yes, it’s infantilizing women to point out how MEN IN MEDIA EXPLOIT THEM. We def didn’t have huge movements in Hollywood (and in general) in the last 5+ years to discuss that. We def don’t know what the male gaze is. We def haven’t seen examples of huge men in media who literally did just that to a host of young female actresses over their long careers. This never happens and pointing out exploitation is actually pearl clutching. 

I implore you to read some books and essays on exploitation and objectification, eroticism vs pornography (Audre Lorde has  book called Uses of the Erotic, which does  great job of showing the differences between erotic displays of human sexuality versus the soulless porn we are so used to seeing today), and the male gaze. The Beauty Myth and Beauty Sick are both good books to help break down the issue with objectification and how that’s different from respectful displays of female nudity. 

I will admit that I see some people (mostly gen Z, whose porn sick upbringing, I think, makes their relationship with sex even more complicated) generally having hangups with shows that portray sex period, I am not one of those people. I love sex, and masturbation, and I encourage both. It’s human, natural, and it feels good for a reason! But this show doesn’t show erotic, sexy, fun sex. It shows pornographic, objectifying, abusive rape. And if you can’t see the difference between the two, I pray for your sexual healing.  

the discourse around 'the idol' is really facinating to me (it's also completely rancid and braindead of course) because while people are screaming about it as if it's some unprecedented misogyny almost every single review (sometimes even headlines) of it i've seen reeks of such exhausting type of internalized misogyny itself like they're projecting here, the call is coming from inside the house. people have such a weird negative fixation on lily's body, her tits and nipples and female sexuality in general (that they ofc accuse the show of having) it's literally all they talk about (were they fighting off hard ons in the theatre like what's going on). because you know god forbid a woman shows some nipples (i go around topless around my house all the time when it's really hot like a guy, unnecessary nudity i guess?), the fact that this is still considered 'nudity', free the nipple truly failed us. what else do they talk about? oh yeah, she's masturbating in it (horror!), there's a photo with cum on her face (outrage like this is lily's real actual photo) and some kinky consensual relationship with abel's character. this is all i can remember, such misogyny.

why do people infantilize women and treat them like little children with no mind of their own that can't consent to anything because this is really where this stems from. when you look at some of the conversations it's like the actress is being exploited literally whenever she shows boobs on screen by the big bad male director who is taking advantage of her by asking her consent lmao. obviously the controversy did what it did, but i don't think i've ever seen such a demented and intense reaction towards any other director (and i think that hit piece rolling stone published was a byproduct of that because a lot of people have been having one-sided personal beef with him for a while now, which incudes the press btw because of 'malcolm and marie' lmao). and it probably comes down to the fact that he attracted a massive and incredibly intense puritan zoomer audience and attention with 'euphoria' because i will bet my life that 'the idol' will be much less vulgar and objectifying than stuff like 'game of thrones' or 'the sopranos' or 'wolf of wall street'. but that stuff is fine because it's targeted at male audience and every female "character" that gets sexualized (and also in those examples, outside of GOT, almost every female is just an extension of a male character) in it is just some fucking furniture in the background whose function is to look pretty, get fucked, sometimes beaten and disposed of. so that's fine, but a show that is targeted at primarily female audience that displays female sexuality without inhibition told from a perspective of a female character is not fine because them broads are retarded easily exploited victims and we need to protect them.

[fireflykaizoku]

Heya! I know you’ve done 3 soulmate fics now, but with the sort of angsty feel with Mimi-ya’s request I was wondering if a Katakuri x reader, in regards to the age difference he had given up hope that it was even possible for him to have happiness outside of his family, would make for a good read and also possibly dangerous for reader to come face to face with Big Mom and all those siblings! Thank you x

Hii! i'm sorry i took long to finish it, but i kept watching OP and reading more about Katakuri, since it's my first time writing for him. Since i'm still on episode 850, i was afraid it'd be a bit ooc. If it is, i'm so sorry! my writing for Katakuri will improve as i finish the arc. I hope you like it anyway, it was fun to write it ❤

Your family was rich and well-known around the Grand Line. Being the only daughter, they were trying to find a husband for you, a political marriage that could be good for both families, especially yours. They had a list of potential husbands, but you didn’t bother checking it since you were too focused on your birthday party. It was a small party, just with close friends and family, but you wanted everything to be perfect.

And it was. You had so much fun around people you loved, it was hard to fall asleep after that; you were genuinely happy.

Before opening your eyes, you could already feel the sweet smell, something like candy, donuts or cake. Thinking it was maybe a belated birthday breakfast, you opened your eyes and was ready to jump out of the bed when you realized the bedroom was completely different from yours. And as soon as you looked down, you realized that body definitely wasn’t yours. The toned chest, tattoos and the scarf around your neck weren’t yours.

You could only feel happiness and relief, you were glad you already switched bodies with your soulmate. Who knew it’d be that fast? But you wanted to see more of him, so you got up and started looking for a mirror in his room. The reflection surprised you at first, not being the kind of soulmate you expected to have. He had tattoos, crimson hair, and apparently was very tall. In fact, he was huge. When you put the scarf down a little, you noticed he had scars, and you assumed that’s why he covered his mouth. He also had fangs, which you thought were extremely charming. He wasn’t ugly, in fact, he was far from that. He was very handsome. Intimidating, of course. But very handsome.

Looking around, you found a vest, and on the back, you noticed “Charlotte” written on it.

— Charlotte? — you whispered to yourself, thinking you’ve seen that name somewhere until you finally realized after a couple of minutes.

— He’s one of Big Mom’s son!

You remember when your parents were trying to find a husband for you, his name came up a couple of times. It was probably Charlotte Katakuri. You’ve never seen any pictures of him, but you knew he was a very strong and powerful man.

After a couple of minutes just looking at his figure in the mirror, admiring his traits, a knock on the door brought you back to reality.

— Katakuri-sama, it’s almost time for Big Mom’s tea party. — someone said, outside the room before leaving right away.

You heard about the famous Tea Parties, but you didn’t even know how to behave. You knew there would be so many people, powerful people, and some probably well known as well, so you couldn’t take the risk of things going wrong.

You couldn’t describe the relief you felt when you noticed a den den mushi in the corner of the room. Perfect! You’d call him, explain everything and hopefully he’d be there just in time for the party.

It took a couple of minutes, but finally someone answered. You got quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say.

— Charlotte Katakuri? — you asked, a bit nervous.

— It’s me. I assume you’re (L/N) (F/N)? — you hummed in response. — I see you’re my soulmate and we switched bodies.

— Yes, and you have a Tea Party to attend today. Do you think we can switch back before then?

— Unfortunately, no. Your island is quite far from the Whole Cake Island. Can you go instead? You’ll just have to sit without saying anything. It won’t last too long, and when it’s over you go straight to your room.

— But what if… I need to fight? I don’t know how to… — he interrupted you.

— Don’t worry, it shouldn’t have an attack. But if anything happens, look for Brûlée and explain everything. I’ll be there before the sunrise, and we’ll be able to switch back, hopefully.

He seemed so calm even in a situation like this. But following his advice, you went to the party. It was fun and there was delicious food everywhere, but you couldn’t disrespect your soulmate and remove the scarf off. Maybe when you switch back you can ask Katakuri to let you eat a few.

You started sweating whenever Big Mom or any of his kids got near you, trying to talk. So to avoid raising any suspicions, you just nodded the whole time. And whenever you heard a fuss, your soul felt like it’d leave your body, worried it’d be a confront. If you had to fight today, acting like Katakuri, you wouldn’t know what to do.

You were hungry, but too shy to ask for anything. As if someone heard your thoughts, a few small men knocked on your door, bringing donuts. Not just two or three, but many donuts. They bowed and left quickly.

After eating half of it, you fell asleep. You were very anxious since you’d meet your soulmate in a few hours, but your eyelids got heavier and you couldn’t fight the sleep anymore. You woke up a few hours later with someone gently tapping your arm. When you opened your eyes, you realized Katakuri had arrived.

You were still sleepy, and sat on the bed, rubbing your eyes until you actually felt awake. The height difference was quite a lot, and it was funny. You had to sit on the floor so the two of you would be face to face.

— Hello, Katakuri. — you felt incredibly shy now.

— Good morning. — he tried to hide the fact he was embarrassed, and was hoping you couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating.

— This… Is it the time when we kiss?— you suggested, looking away. Would he think you were being too straightforward?

— Yes… We should… Kiss.

You pulled the scarf down slowly with your now cold hands. You closed your eyes, feeling very nervous. You kissed a few times before, but it still felt like something new. Especially now that it wasn’t just a random person, it was your soulmate.

Noticing you were waiting for him to make a move, he moved closer, sealing your lips together. Just a peck at first, until you gave him permission to deepen the kiss. Both of you were shy, and the kiss was a bit clumsy. Maybe he haven’t had many kisses too.

You didn’t have to open your eyes to realize you two had switched back, his big and strong hands holding your face was a sign that it worked. You rested your head on his hand, looking at him with eyes full of admiration and a soft smile on your lips.

— Aren’t you… Scared or disgusted? — he asked, feeling insecure now that his face was exposed to you.

— Why would I be? — you genuinely asked, smiling softly.

— Because… Of my mouth. I’m not how you probably wanted your soulmate to look like, and I don’t want you to think you have to put up with me because we’re soulmates. Now that we switched back, you can go if you want to. — his voice didn’t seem angry, as if he was demanding you to leave. It sounded sad, as if he had been through a lot.

You heart ached just to think that someone had the courage to hurt your soulmate.

Little did you know that many people treated him differently, not wanting to be around him or making fun of him because of his appearance; little did you know that while most of his siblings found their soulmates already, and he spent most of his life thinking he didn’t deserve his other half. Little did you know that he gave up on finding someone and started to deal with the fact that only his family would be able to love him.

But now, after meeting you, he threw his rational self out of the window. He felt like he could love someone; marry someone for a reason other than just a political marriage. But would you want him just like he wants you?

— We switched back, right? — you caressed his face softly. He wasn’t expecting it, no one has ever been this gentle with him before. — That means we’re in love.

— I don’t want you to be with someone like me, you’d only be in danger. — he turned his face not to see you. — You wouldn’t be able to deal with my siblings. It won’t be like playing house, and it won’t be like the marriage you might be expecting.

You got quiet, taking a deep breath. He wouldn’t push you away easily. Katakuri noticed your silence, and was expecting you to leave the room, agreeing that life with him wouldn’t be the perfect calm life you probably wanted. Instead, before he could even use his haki to have a glimpse of the future, you turned his face and pecked his lips.

— I won’t give up so easily. — you crossed your arms. — You’re my soulmate and I won’t leave you just because you think I can’t deal with a dangerous lifestyle. I want you, and if you want me too… We can make this work.

Looking at your face that was looking at him with love in your eyes, how could he say “no”? Maybe Big Mom would be willing to accept this relationship and give her blessing, and his siblings would be happy for him. He could even pretend it was all because of your family and their power at first.

His stomach started growling before he could say anything.

— I’m sorry, I only ate a few donuts while I was in your body. — you felt a little embarrassed about what you were about to ask. — But I wanted to eat some of the sweets yesterday. Do you think… — he didn’t let you finish the question.

— You can have the sweets, I’ll ask to get them delivered for breakfast. — he covered his face with the scarf again. — For now, you should sleep. We’ll have a long day meeting my family tomorrow.

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[nct-lian]

lian’s celebrity crushes

LEE WONHO

oh god every single time this man is brought up

she blushes so much

and the members are just sitting there like “uh what now”

LIAN JUST THINKS HES GORGEOUS OKAY? OKAY.

she’s been caught staring at him during award shows and she’s really embarrassed about it but it’s okay because then again who WOULDNT stare at him?

she accidentally liked one of his instagram pictures but unliked it super fast because obviously she doesn’t follow him and she’d be exposed for stalking his account

but someone took a screenshot HOW? I DONT KNOW BUT IT HAPPENED

nctzens were making fun of her like wtf aren’t you supposed to be on her side for everything

“ohhhh lian has a crushhhhh” “she must be SIMPING”

trauma. ANYWAYS

like besides his looks, she really likes his charisma (she hasn’t even had a conversation with him before- how’s she gonna know what his personality is like yk?)

she loves the way he presents himself on stage or just in general-

lian has a crush <//3 what do we do about this y’all

wonho always gets asked about her like “do you know lian” “do you like lian’s music”

and he’s just like “okay” BECAUSE ITS AWKWARD

she’s been exposed for stalking his instagram account like do you know how risky that is lian you idiot why didn’t you make a burner account

maybe lian isn’t as smart as we think,,

JENNIFER ANNISTON

ms jennifer anniston has been one of lian’s idols for as long as she can remember

she grew up watching friends and she knew JUST from seeing her on the screen, she wanted to do something similar

like the only reason lian is an actress right now is because of jennifer

the impact that this woman has on lian’s life is unexplainable- literally an entire role model in terms of acting

and lian also wants her secret to looking so mf young at her age because she doesn’t want wrinkles when she’s older

it’s okay lian, we understand

she’s opened up about seeing jennifer as an idol, and has said WAY TOO MANY TIMES that if she were to be able to meet one celebrity she would choose to meet her

one of lian’s goals is actually to have a conversation with her at some point in time which i doubt will happen but it’s okay for a girl to dream

“hopefully i get to meet her one day; i think it’ll be unlikely, but i want to let her know that she’s a great role model to me :D”

lian you’re gonna make us all cry stop rn

she used to follow jennifer on instagram before she decided to unfollow literally everyone for a cleaner home feed-

september 2020 sucked sorry about it HOW COULD LIAN JUST UNFOLLOW SUNMI-

i’m getting ahead of myself; my apologies <//3

back to jennifer anniston x lianna bae

lian gets sad whenever she realizes she may never be able to meet her :(

because their worlds are so different from each other and they’re not even in the same country so it’s like hckcj

it’s complicated

SONG JOONGKI

lian’s crush on joongki is honestly pretty lowkey and not many fans know about it

they just know she’d love to work with him one day

but little do they know she’s crying over him while watching vincenzo

“hyuck get off the tv i have to watch song joongki speak italian” “get the fuck out you idiot i’m telling johnny- OPPA! HAECHAN IS BEING MEAN-”

“okay i’m going, you loser”

and then that’s when he finally gets up and plays video games for the next five hours while lian is left to watch in peace

lian thinks he’s so attractive as well

like i’m being serious here; miss girl will not shut up about how “JOONGKI SUNBAENIM IS SO PRETTY”

jaehyun is mad mad but this ain’t about him -_-

lian and the members of red velvet would have the innocent man marathons in their dorm when they were supposed to be asleep

IT WAS SO FUN- they would stay up late when they knew they would have to get up early in the morning and watch the episodes while eating wendy’s homemade brownies :(((

irene best mom agenda is coming through right now :0

lian genuinely cried when joongki said she was a good actress

back in 2019 joongki mentioned that he’d been watching abyss, and he said that he liked the female lead

WHICH WAS MISS LIANNA BAE SOOOO

lian won life

[enamoured-x]

Second Best

Angel Reyes x Reader

Summary: You’ve been best friends with the Reyes brothers for a long time now, but when Ez’s deal is exposed, you help Angel understand he’s not second best, not in your eyes. 

Word count: 4k

a/n: this will be a mini series, so expect a few more parts! I’ve had this idea for a while since the episode aired and i figured i’d finally bring it to fruition. 

*Not my gif

Part 1

It was another lazy Sunday for you as you rolled out of bed at around noon. You were off for the next few days and were glad for it considering the over time you had been putting in recently. You made the split decision to get out of the house, even if you were wanting to just stay in and relax. Although that was tempting, you were missing your boys.

You usually always brought the guys lunch and you sent a quick text to Angel to let him know that you’d be dropping by, he was quick to text back giving you the go ahead.

You had met Angel and Ez your freshman year of high school, being in the same grade as Ez, you two eventually became fast friends and he was quick to introduce you to his older brother. From the moment you met Angel, he was suddenly always included in yours and Ez’s plans. It was such an easy rhythm to slip into with both the Reyes men, they became family when yours was falling apart. Even Felipe was eager to have you over, which ended up being almost everyday. You three were thick as thieves and only grew closer as the years went by. When Ez got locked up, you thought things were going to change, and they did but not in the way you expected.

Sure, you hardly saw Ez, but you and Angel were still best friends and you visited Felipe a lot more even without the older Reyes brother present. You made weekly visits to Ez and talked to him for as long as you could. You hung out with Angel basically everyday, especially the first few months that Ez had gotten locked up, Angel was a mess; first his mom's passing and then his younger brother going to prison? It was a lot for him, so you became his crutch in those months. Sure, his other go-to’s were sex and alcohol but you never let him stray too far and you were always there when he needed something other than quick cheap vices. Eventually, Angel had joined the Mayans and although at first you were hesitant, you quickly grew fond of the men in the club. You were constantly hanging around and going to their parties, and forming bonds with the guys, forming another little family. When Ez finally got out of prison, and decided to follow in his older brother's footsteps, well, you couldn’t exactly be mad at that. You were just glad he was out and your trio was back together again, your family was intact again.

When you pulled into the scrapyard, you parked near the bikes and took your bags and exited the car. Chucky was quick to greet you and you talked to him for a few moments before handing his burrito over. He took it with a big smile and walked back into the office.

“Hey, mamas.” You turned around to see Angel walking out of the clubhouse, a smile on his face. Your heart rate picked up at seeing him and you couldn’t help the grin on your face as you walked over to him. He brought you into a hug before placing a kiss to your forehead. You preened at the touch of his lips, at the feel of his rough calloused hands skimming the exposed skin at your waist from where your shirt drew up. Shivers sneaked down your spine despite the sun blasting directly on you two.

Angel was your best friend, but somewhere along the years, he became more to you. It was hard not to fall for Angel Reyes, with that smile and that big heart of his? You were a goner from the get go. But Angel was your best friend. He was your light and your heart and you didn’t need your feelings getting in the way of the friendship you had with him.

“Hey, mi ángel.” You said, placing a kiss to his stubbled cheek. He squeezed your hip and slid his hand further around your waist to lead you inside.

“Y/n’s here!” He yelled to the guys as you walked in, despite them lounging around on the couches and at the bar. They were all quick to get up and greet you, pulling you into hugs.

“Chula, where have you been?” Bishop asked as he kissed your cheek.

“Overworking myself to death.” You joked and set the bags down on the coffee table. You started taking out the burritos wrapped in foil.

“Told you to calm down.” Ez said, coming over and placing a kiss to your temple.

“Yeah well someone’s gotta pay the bills.” You told him as you started handing out the food.

“I told you to come live with me.” Angel suggested as he peeled back the aluminum and took a bite of his burrito.

“You only have a one bedroom.” You reminded him.

“I know.” He wiggled his brows, causing the guys to snicker and shake their heads. You rolled your eyes, even though the reality was that you’d be more than happy to sleep in Angel’s bed.

“Just eat your food, Reyes.” You shoved him lightly. He laughed and pulled you into his side.

“You love me.” He said, mouth full of food, and then kissed you on your cheek. You scoffed and wiped your cheek.

“Gross! This is why Ez is my favorite Reyes.” You pulled yourself away from him and went over to Ez, he was quick to throw an arm around your shoulder. The guys rolled their eyes at the three of you and your antics.

“That’s hurtful. And definitely a lie.” Of course it was a lie. Angel was your number one, whether he knew it or not. He was your favorite in every way. You loved Ez so much but not in the way you loved Angel. You weren’t in love with Ez.

“Come on, we all know Angel is your favorite. Quit playing.” Coco said from his spot on the couch, burrito almost gone.

“Thanks, hermano. You already know.” Angel said, smirking. You rolled your eyes as Ez laughed.

“You know what? Actually, pops is my favorite Reyes.” You concluded and they laughed.

“Actually that might be accurate.” Ez said and let go of you to get Riz and Tranq another beer when they gestured to their empty bottles.

“It’s okay, mamas. I know the truth.” He winked at you, coming back to your side and pulling you into him. This time you let him.

You smiled and whispered in his ear, “by far my favorite, Angel.” Angel could flirt and tease you but you gave it just as good as you got it.

The largest boyish grin overtook his face and he kissed your cheek. You bit your lip as your cheeks warmed.

“You’re my favorite too.” He whispered back. The guys were busy in their own conversations to pay you two any mind.

“Favorite out of what?”

He shrugged, “everyone.”

-

Eleven pm rolled around rather quickly as you got ready for bed. You spent a good part of the afternoon with the guys at the clubhouse and then met with Felipe for dinner. The rest of the night was spent watching Netflix on the couch.

As you had just finished your skin care routine, you heard your cellphone ringing. You turned the tv off and looked to see who was calling you so late. Ez’s name and picture took over the screen on your phone. You answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/n…” You heard him grunt and start coughing a little.

“Ez, are you okay?” You stopped in your tracks, worry taking over at the obvious tone in his voice.

“No...I...Angel knows.” It took you a few seconds to register what he was talking about. You shut your eyes and let out a deep sigh. Angel knew about the deal Ez made with the DEA. The deal that Ez had been hiding from Angel and the club. The deal that made Ez a snitch.

“Fuck, Ez. What happened?” You sat down on your bed, trying to figure out what was going to happen from here.

“I’ll explain everything. But… I need you to come get me.” You heard him groan and you quickly sat up. You pulled on some pants and grabbed your keys, rushing out the door. You could piece together the fact that Ez didn’t sound too good and seeing as Angel found out… Well you could only assume things got physical.

Ez sent you his location and then you ended the call. It took you over thirty minutes to reach him and with good timing considering that your phone died as soon as you got to him. You were shocked to see how badly he was bruised and bleeding, even holding his side.

“Fuck, Ez. Be careful.” You said, getting out of the car and helping him into the passengers side. You quickly got back into the drivers side and drove back the way you came.

“What the fuck happened?” You asked, trying to drive right while also taking off your flannel to give to Ez. He took it and wiped his face gently.

He let out a shaky breath and then started to explain everything on the way to his trailer. How they were both arrested when they got pulled over with a body in the trunk of the car they were driving up to the point where a DEA agent came in and spilled Ez’s secret and trapped them into another deal which led to Angel ultimately beating on Ez and leaving him to his own devices. You were finally at his trailer at the clubhouse and you both made your way in. You set him down and grabbed a rag, running it under warm water. You went over to him, cleaning his face as gently as you could. He still winced at the touch. The cuts were big but not deep enough for stitches. You realized Angel still had his rings on when his fists were making connect with Ez’s face. Fuck, no wonder Ez was out of it, that and the force with which you knew Angel could hit with? It was not pretty.

“I don’t feel sorry for you. I love you and I can understand some of it but I can’t say you didn’t deserve this.” You told him as you continued cleaning up the blood.

“I know. I was stupid… I thought–I just thought that I’d be able to give them enough information that they’d eventually just let me go.”

“We both know that wasn’t going to happen. Fuck, Ez, I can’t imagine what Angel’s going through right now.” Your heart ached for Angel. His brother's betrayal would run deep and this would cause the biggest riff between the two brothers.

You grabbed the small emergency kit that came with the trailer and you cleaned his cuts with alcohol and then put bandages on the cuts.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t want any of this to happen, Y/n.”

You sighed, “well it did, Ezekiel. Now you have to face the consequences.” You were mad at him still, you had been since he first told you about the deal two weeks ago. To say you were pissed was an understatement, all you could think about was Angel. How he was going to feel, how he was going to take it. You were going to tell him, you felt like you had to, how could you not? But Ez and pops convinced you otherwise, telling you it would be best to let Ez do it on his own terms. But that wasn’t why you agreed, no, you agreed because you weren’t going to take that burden off of Ez’s shoulders. This was his mess and he was going to clean up every single piece of it. Telling Angel would only help him and that wasn’t what he deserved. You loved him but this wasn’t on you.

“Thank you for this.” He said, referring to picking him up and cleaning his wounds.

You sighed and stood up from your crouching position.

“Get some rest.” Is all you said. You placed a kiss to his temple and exited the trailer. The scolding you wanted to give him could wait, Angel already did enough to him tonight and although he reaped what he sowed, he needed a second.

You made the drive back to your house already tired and ready to slip into bed. You needed to also charge your phone, if Angel reached out to you, you wanted to know and be there for him in any way you could.

You didn’t need to wonder about him anymore as you pulled into your driveway, parking right next to his black car.

Of course he came here. You quickly got out of your car and went inside, hoping he wasn’t waiting long. Your phone had been dead for the past hour so it couldn’t have been longer than that.

You closed your front door and walked into the living room, seeing Angel seated on the couch staring at the blank tv screen.

“Angel?” You asked, slowly making your way over to him as to not startle him. He seemed to snap out of his thoughts and looked over at you. His eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears.

“Oh, mi ángel.” You walked over to him and sat down next to him, leaning into his side and rubbing his back.

“Where were you?” He asked, sniffling. You bit your lip, you knew he’d probably get angry at your answer but you didn’t want to lie.

“Ez called me, went to go get him.” You admitted quietly. He stared at you for a few seconds before letting out a huff and shaking his head as he stood up. You stood up with him.

“Of fucking course.” He muttered, running his hand through his hair. He looked so distraught and tears pricked at your eyes from his current state.

“Angel–”

“Of fucking course you run to him. Did he tell you what he did? How he fucking betrayed me?” You knew he wasn’t asking if you knew, he was asking if Ez told you tonight. And you were glad for it. You knew you’d have to tell him that you knew but not right now, not when he was so close to falling to his knees.

“Yes, he did.” Is all you said, not knowing how to gauge his temper right now.

“Right, and what? You choosing his side?” He shook his head and put both his hands on his head.

“What? No of course not. What he did was wrong, Angel but I was just helping him. He was bleeding a lot and–” You explained, placing your hand on his back.

“Helping him? So while I was waiting for you because I needed you, you were playing fucking doctor?” He looked crushed, absolutely crushed.

“I didn’t know you were here, Angel. I just wanted to make sure he was okay–”

“And what about me? What about making sure I’m okay? But of course, it’s always Ez. The fucking golden boy always getting tended to first, always the first.” He was not only upset but he was angry. And now, so were you.

“Don’t, Angel. Of course I want to make sure you’re okay, but Ez–”

“Fuck! I get it, okay? It’s always Ez this, Ez that. Jesus, you’re just like pops.” You took a step back, as if struck. You knew what he was comparing you to. Not Felipe but the way Felipe always put Ez first, always looked out for him more than he did with Angel. And that was the exact opposite of you.

“No. Don’t fucking say that to me.” You pushed his shoulder lightly to get him to face you.

“Why? It’s true. You went straight to Ez and then when he told you what he did you didn’t even think to check in to see if I was okay.”

“My phone was dead! I was going to call you as soon as I charged it.”

“Sure, right after you helped Ez first.” He rolled his eyes, tears still pooling on his lower lid.

You were annoyed but you also knew where this was all coming from. Everyone in Angel’s life always put him last, always treated him as second best.

“So you think I put Ez first? Seriously?” You crossed your arms.

“Yeah, you do. You and the whole fucking world. Who gives a damn about Angel, who cares how he fucking feels.” You clenched your fists. He had no idea what he was talking about.

“I fucking care, Angel.” You said, hoping the words would hit their mark but they didn’t as he let out a humorless laugh.

“Sure you do, mami.”

“Fuck you, Angel. You don’t get to say I don’t care, I care more than you think. You don’t get to stand here and throw your dad and Ez’s lack of concern for you on me. Never have I ever done anything to make you feel as if you were second best. Ever.” You wanted nothing more than to take Angel into your arms and tell him everything was going to be okay, but before that could happen, you weren’t going to let him insult your character. Especially not when it came to him and how much you loved him.

“You put him first tonight.” He said, quietly. You huffed.

“You want to know something, Angel?” You stepped closer to him, practically chest to chest with him. The smell of his cologne, the desert, his cigarettes, and the oils from his bike penetrated your sense, it smelled like home and everything that you ever loved.

“If my phone wasn’t dead and you had called, I would’ve dropped Ez to come to you.” It was the truth. Maybe that would be labeled as being a bad friend, but this situation was different and Angel definitely needed you more than Ez right now.

“Right…” He sighed, not believing you.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.” You stated, realizing he was so blind by the anger of you being with Ez that he couldn’t see that he was your number one priority.

“Yeah, thanks. I guess I am for letting my baby brother pull one over on me and for not seeing that you are always going to love him more.” A tear slipped down his cheek and your heart clenched seeing him in this state, hearing him talk like this. You felt like you didn’t have full control of what you were saying as you went to speak. It was as if your heart was to caught up and to eager to make Angel feel better that it didn’t give your brain time to process it all.

“You are. You’re the biggest fucking dumbass out there, Angel. I could never love him more.” You stepped even closer, your chest pressed against him now, your face inches away from his. You grabbed onto his flannel, trying to steady yourself or pull him closer, you didn’t know. He was about to speak when you continued.

“I could never love him more, and you wanna know why?” Your brain was so close to processing what you were about to say but it was too late and it shocked you to realize that you didn’t care.

“Because I don’t just love you. I’m in love with you, Angel.” Your brain caught up and everything snapped into place but you still didn’t care. You didn’t care that you just confessed your feelings to Angel. You didn't care because he needed to know how much he was loved, even if it meant embarrassing yourself to do so. Even if it meant making things weird for you two from here on it. You‘d endure, for him you’d endure it.

His eyes were wide and he kept opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to say something. You didn’t expect him to reciprocate your feelings of course, so you gave him a moment to process what you just told him. But the way he was looking at you made you speak up again.

“I’ve been in love with you for awhile now, mi ángel. So I could never love him more and I could never think you’re second best when you’re my everything.” Maybe it was pathetic how deeply in love you were with this man, but it was relieving to know that you still didn’t care that you were probably making a fool of yourself.

“I love–” You were going to keep saying it till he said something or till he realized you were telling the truth. But he cut you off when he grabbed your face in his hands and smashed his lips against yours. You didn’t even hesitate as your lips slotted with his and you slide your hands to his hair to run through the strands. Angel slid one arm down your waist and pulled you into him closer.

Your mind was hazy, your heart was pounding. You felt as if you were being engulfed in flames as the kiss consumed you. His tongue slipped into your mouth and swiped against yours. You moaned and pulled him closer. He tasted like cigarettes, mint, and something so fucking sweet that you knew just made it all the more him.

You didn’t want to pull away, didn’t care about oxygen, screw oxygen, Angel Reyes was your breath of air.

He moaned as you tugged him closer, still not breaking the kiss. And how could you? He kissed you like he was devouring you, like it was the last time he’d ever get to kiss you. But if you were lucky, this would be the first of many.

You two finally pulled away, panting as you tried to get some air back into your lungs. Neither of you could help yourselves as you both leaned in, sharing small kisses through your deep breaths.

“You’re my everything too, mi tesoro.” He whispered against your lips. You pulled him into you, not for another kiss but for a hug. He gladly accepted, burying his head in your neck.

The kiss was mind blowing but it could only distract him from what happened tonight so much before everything came creeping back in.

“I’m sorry, Angel. I’m so sorry this happened.” You said, rubbing his back. He squeezed you tighter and you heard him sniffle.

“I’m here. You have me, you’ll always have me.” You pulled away from him and cupped his face. Tear tracks were staining his cheeks, running into his beard.

“Come on, you’re staying the night.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall and to your bedroom. He let you lead the way.

Once inside your room you shimmied out of your jeans. Normally Angel would probably make a comment, but tonight was different. You walked over to him and unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. You then grabbed the hem of his white tank top and pulled it up, he helped take it off as it got to his chest. Your hands found the button on his jeans and you unhooked it and he helped you slide them down. Leaving him in only his briefs and you in a simple baggy shirt.

“Let’s go to sleep, hmm?” A glance at your clock on your nightstand told you it was already one in the morning and after the day Angel had, you knew he was exhausted.

You slid under the covers and when you held out your arms to him he slid in with you and you pulled him into you. He was more than willing to settle his head right below your breasts and he wrapped his arms around your stomach. Your hands immediately found purchase in his hair.

“I love you, mi ángel. Sleep.” Is all you said before he was passed out a few moments later after you continued playing with hair. When you felt his heavy breathing, you rested your hand over his shoulder and placed your other on the arm that was wrapped around you. His weight and heat was welcomed as he laid in your arms and you were dragged into a peaceful sleep.

Part 2

[rahleeyah]

When do you think Elliot fell in love with Olivia? I can never truly pinpoint when Liv did. There’s a couple spots starting from s1 on when I’m like “yeahhhhh she’d happily date him if he didn’t have a family”. But Elliot? I don’t think that happened to him for a bit. (This is my theory, but really curious what you think!? I love hearing everyone pinpoint when they think it happened because I love talking about love sick Elliot 🤣)

My theory? After Alex got shot/finding out she was alive and in Witness Protection. S1-4, they’re pretty close but definitely not overly close like they were in the end (besides the s1 touches). I think after Alex got shot and the fact that she got shot while she was with them, really fucked them up so Elliot spent that first night with Olivia. After leaving the hospital that night, he brought her home and just never left and they mourned quietly together. And then finding out she was in Witness Protection? I think they spent a solid week together hashing it all out after because who else were they going to talk about it with??? And we learn later they really didn’t tell a SOUL. (As they shouldn’t have but also (as me and my best friend call them, husband privileges) wouldn’t have been surprised if they did.)

And I think that started it all. And then sometime in the last two episodes of season six, I think they hang out a lot. Because they have no one to go home to! They have no one to help remind them there is something else in the world besides this job! So they talk to each other because they understand what they are going through but also it helps them connect with the world again. And they go to each other’s places and sit at the counter or on the couch with some beers and they spend their nights just talking. Sometimes they chill at a diner and then suddenly it’s been four hours. And they learn a lot about each other. (I’m reminded of your post where you talk about how they stand on separate sides of issues but they have some of the same core values, I think this is when they really learn a lot about each other is during s7)

And then Fault makes him realize that. And THAT’S what gets him. I think Elliot always knew how much he cared about Olivia, even before then. That he knew if there was a situation it would be hard because really he cared for her so much even before he loved her. I think they probably thought of each other as best friends starting late s4/early s5. (If not earlier honestly. Season 2 wouldn’t be a stretch. Maybe even late s1.)

But when Elliot picked Olivia over Ryan? When the panic that had gone up his spine is more about her falling to the ground than not getting to Ryan in time? THAT’S what scares him. Because his love for her had slowly intertwined its way through his entire being unknown until he thought he would never have it again. And he can’t believe he never even noticed it.

This is a question we've had before but this time I have just got up to s12 in my rewatch and i have had more time to think about 1.0 and i wanna come at it again

first off, i love your take about all this hitting him post Alex. I think that's the premise for a damn good fic tbh. Just digging into all those feelings bc the three of them had a special bond and now Alex is gone, and this show doesn't kill a lot of mains, like there's a lot of collateral damage but they don't kill a lot of fan favorites, so a lot of the people close to eo haven't actually died - and of course Alex isn't actually dead but they don't know that initially - so it's more realistic that they'd be devastated to lose their friend, and Liv doesn't have anybody to go to, and El's marriage is on the rocks, and yeah. that's fucking perfect.

there are moments where I think Elliot's mask starts to slip. in 2.0, when he's in the middle of his HIV scare and Liv asks him to go out for a drink and he says no and she says see you tomorrow and he says you will all warm and reaches for her, there is a softness in him, there is something knowing in him. her heart is in her eyes, her fear for him, her desperation not to lose him, and he reacts to that with aching fondness and physical touch. it's notable to me bc they have stopped touching so much, after the s1 love fest. but he goes home to kathy.

there's the end of s4, when she comes to him, turns up at his door, and they have a heart to heart; the difference is you can walk away, and no I can't. I think he is trying, then, to save her, bc he can see how the work is killing her and he doesn't want her to burn out, and there is a quiet, familiar intimacy to them in that moment that feels heavy.

but really I don't think he has it in him to actually consider her as anything other than a friend until Kathy leaves in s6. He cares for her, she is important to him, she is the other half of him, but he is too focused on be a good man, be a good husband, be a good father, I don't think he can spare the breath to want her, whether he could articulate it to himself or not. but then Kathy is gone, and I can't pinpoint the exact moment but everything shifts. the trapdoor has just given way beneath their feet.

I think we all agree that Fault is the lightbulb moment, for both of them. That is the point at which they cannot ignore it, cannot hide from it, cannot pretend that the connection between them is anything other than what it is. they both know, in that moment. Gitano's gun to Elliot's head, and Liv can't pull the trigger, they are stripped bare right in front of each other's eyes. He knows he loves her, and chose her over Ryan. And she knows she loves him, and chose him over Rebecca. But in that moment they both see the other's love, too. He sees her love of him. She has seen his love of her. They are exposed.

But they button it back up; Liv leaves him and maybe they could have gone for something more but he can't do the job without her and she doesn't want to do the job without him and she comes back, and when she sits down at her desk she is saying i am here to do the job with you, and that means that the rest of it, the love has to be put aside. they have to choose which side of the coin they get, home or work, love or partnership, and they choose the job.

But the love is there, now, and it keeps rearing its head, over and over until he snaps and leaves. They can't hide from it.

I watched intentionally trying to pinpoint a Moment, but no great revelation came to me as a specific point at which it became clear that it was love. It's just. one day you look up and it's there, and it's like it's been there all along.

I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.

[darling-i-read-it]

Releves

1x12

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems 

Author’s Note: Me being angry at hannibal despite it conflicting with my plans for this series are something else 

I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar. Those sentences are not mine. 

Official Episode Summary : The BAU team finds evidence linking Abigail to the Minnesota Shrike victims; Will checks Abigail out of the hospital; Hannibal convinces Jack that Will is capable of murder.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll​

(not my gif) 

You woke up and Will was gone. You must have fallen asleep on the chair beside his bed. You started to panic which had become a much too familiar feeling. You got up and started to walk around. You thought about asking a doctor or something but didn’t want to worry anyone but yourself just in case it was nothing. You walked through the halls, peeking in rooms for your boyfriend who slept walked more often than not these days. You got to the room of the girl who had been under your bed and Will was inside. 

“Will?” you whispered. He turned around.

“Hi. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Dont’ worry about it.” You glanced at her. She looked so much better than you had seen her last considering. 

“I don’t think we’ve met properly,” she said. “Georgia.”

“Y/N.” 

“I’m sorry, I heard I kinda crashed under your bed.” You shook your head and laughed.

“No worries there.” You turned to Will. “You should come back to your room.” He turned to Georgia sarcastically.

“Helicopter girlfriend,” he teased.

“Yeah I wouldn’t have to be if you slept through the night,” you confessed. Georgia laughed and you grabbed Will’s pole that he was holding. He nodded and waved goodbye to her before following you out the door.

You walked out of the room and he turned to you.

“She said they would never figure out what’s wrong with me,” he whispered.

“She’s not a doctor.” He glanced at you and then the ground as he shuffled along.

“You’re optimistic.”

“I gotta me. You’re pessimistic,” you whispered teasingly as you made it back to his room. He nodded.

“So you think they’ll figure it out?” You shook your head softly.

“I hope they do. But honestly, I think you’re too complicated for them.”

-

Will woke up later to a light conversation. You were sitting on the bed and Hannibal stood at the edge of it. 

“Well it is complicated,” Hannibal was saying quietly.

“What’s complicated?” Will asked. You looked over at him and smiled comfortingly.

“Nothing.” 

“You keeping secrets now?” Will teased, sitting up.

“We were talking about how to make this soup. Y/N said she couldn’t quite cook and I was sharing the recipe,” Hannibal explained.

“He’s brought food,” you said happily.

“Smells delicious.”

“Silkie chicken in a broth. A black boned bird prized in China for its medicinal value since the 7th century. With wolfberries, ginseng, ginger, red dates and star anise,” Hannibal explained.

“You made me chicken soup,” Will said and Hannibal offered a supportive smile. 

“Y/N says you’ve been wandering.” 

“I was awake. And wandering with purpose and good intentions,” he promised. You nodded.

“Just visiting around,” you promised. 

“Visiting that unfortunate young woman suffering from delusions?”

“She’s my support group,” he joked. You hit him gently. “You are also my support group. Relax.” Will got out of bed and sat down at the table while the three of you ate the broth together. “Could all of the things have been the fever Hannibal? Like the hallucinations or the sleepwalking, the loss of time,” Will asked as he sat down.

“It’s possible.”

“What else is possible?” you asked.

“Fevers can be symptoms of dementia. Dementia can be a symptom of many things happening in your body or mind that can no longer be ignored,” Hannibal said. 

“Does Jack know?”

“That this could be a fever? No I haven’t told him,” Hannibal said.

“He wouldn’t do anything about it either,” you muttered bitterly. 

“But shouldn’t you?” Will asked. 

“I believe Y/N may be right. Additionally we don’t know for certain.” 

-

Will walked with you into the room of Georgia who you felt as though you had just spoken to. Her charred body laid across the burn tank. 

“Hospital speculates a short circuit could have ignited the fire,” Jack muttered. 

“Unit looks well maintained. No exposed wiring,” Price said.

“Don’t know if she suffocated or burned to death. We’ll look for soot in the lining of her airways,” Zeller commented. Will lets out a shaky sigh and puts his hand almost protectively on your arm.

“Horrible way to die,” he whispered. 

-

Will woke up with a start and it woke you up. It was odd not to be laying beside him but you were sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed. He breathed heavily.

“Do you need something?” you whispered. Will grabbed your arm and pulled you to the bed. He wasn’t sweating and didnt’ feel hot. You wrapped your arms around him and he put his head on your chest.

“Sleep here,” he whispered. You nodded

-

The next day you walked into Abigail's room. It was the first time you had been away from Will since he had been admitted to the hospital. Hannibal had urged you to leave but not come back to work just yet although you would be back the next day.

She looked up and let out a sigh of relief.

“I thought you were Freddie,” she muttered. 

“Or Alana who is also watching you like a hawk?” you asked. She nodded. She knew you knew and that was a good thing when it came down to it. She didn't feel like she had to hide with you.

“Just anybody else,” she murmured. You walked inside and sat at the window sill with her.

“How have you been?”

“Do you know that Hannibal is in love with you and Will?” she asked. You choked on the air at the change of subject. She was a teenager. But still. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I thought it was weird when I noticed. I wanted to know if you had noticed,” she said. You shook your head.

“Will, Hannibal and I are close friends,” you said lightly.

“But you and Will are dating,” she suggested.

“Yeah so?”

“Hannibal loves the two of you as a unit I think,” she said. “I told him I thought of all of you as a weird parental group and he got oddly happy.” 

“Abigail-”

“It’s just an observation,” she whispered. “I’m fine.” You laughed at the change of tone.

“Good to hear.”

-

When you got back to the hospital Will was gone. You were notebally pissed. You walked right into the building where he worked and up to Jack Crawford's office. You could hear Will’s voice from down the hall. 

You opened the door aggressively and they both turned around. 

“Did you do this?” you asked at Jack.

“He checked himself out. I told him to go back,” he said honestly. You walked up to Will and put your hand on his forehead. Still warm but not boiling like he had been. 

“Why did you-”

“Jack thinks she killed herself. I think it’s the copy cat of Garret Jacob Hobbs.” You blinked twice. Even for Will, that was a stretch. But you trusted his instinct more than your own.

“And you can wait to catch them. It’s been this long,” you said, removing your hand. He shook his head. 

“I have to do it now. I’m thinking clearer, I’m finally thinking clearly.” His eyes pleaded but they still looked undescribingly broken. You glanced at Jack who clearly didn’t believe Will at all. “Jack also thinks Abigail had something to do with the murders.” 

“What?” 

“I’m not explaining this to you. You don't’ work for me,” Jack said.

“Neither does Will! He’s not on a payroll is he?” you asked. Jack let out a sigh.

“Will go talk to Hannibal,” Jack said simply.

“Finally something I can agree on,” you murmured.

-

Will ran up to you. It had been a few days since he released himself from the hospital and you were still annoyed about it. You turned to him, raising an eyebrow as he came out of the office of Hannibal's place. 

“The copycat,” he said. You nodded, curious to hear what he had to say. He rarely talked to you about any kind of stuff with his work. “Was planning to frame me for the murder of the doctor.”

“He wouldn’t have been able to do it. I was there,” you said.

“But you’re unreliable,” he said.

“Excuse me?” He shook his head.

“You’re my girlfriend. You would have been accused of lying,” he said. You shook your head.

“I am very reliable. Why are you telling me this?” He shrugged.

“You need to know.” 

-

First day back at work. This was a mistake.

You ran your hand over your head and Jack Crawford walked in. He thought about asking you what he was about to ask Hannibal but decided against it. 

“You don’t have an appointment,” you said bitterly.

He opened the door anyway. You were still working when Hannibal and Jack opened the door quickly. Hannibal looked at you and you thought about what Abigail had said. That he was in love with you and Will. You pushed it aside when you saw the pity in his eyes.

“Where’s Will?” he asked.

“At home. Hopefully. Why?”

“Will Graham is at Garett Jacob Hobbs house with Abigail,” Jack said. You scoffed.

“You on something?” 

“Where was Will on the night of Marrisa Schuur’s murder? ‘

“Again, at home presumably.” Hannibal stared at you. Hard. “What?” 

“Will dissociates into other personalities. Whose personality is it?” Jack asked. “Will got close enough to Hobbs to think he was him.” 

You scoffed again.

“Sorry, what the hell is your point?”

“Will is going to kill Abigail. And he killed the girls before,” Hannibal said. You stared in Hannibal’s eyes.

“You can’t be serious.” 

“I’m serious.”

“Hannibal you know him! He trusts you to know him,” you seethed, standing up from anger and audacity. You pointed a hard finger at him. “Will Graham didn’t kill anyone he didn't’ have to.”

“The evidence suggests-” Jack started

“Hey Jack, I don’t really care what you’re about to say and so if you say it I’ll have to hit you or Hannibal or something.”

“I’m going to get Abigail,” Hannibal said. Jack walked out of the room but your gaze stayed steady on Hannibal’s. 

“You don’t think he did this,” you said. 

“A statement and not a question?” You shook your head.

“He didn’t do this.”

1x13

[leejungchans]

random juliet moments.

(a/n: this will probably be updated regularly as i think of more things to add!! i tried to organise these chronologically to the best of my ability but there may be some inconsistencies, so apologies in advance!!🤍)

started crying when she saw yunho cry at their first fansign

when hongjoong forgot to say “dul, set” and said “8 makes 1 team” alone, san and juliet coincidentally said “1 makes 1 team” to clown him and they looked at each other like 👁👄👁

when san backwashed into his bottle of cola and hongjoong unknowingly drank from it which made her go 👁👄👁 and she made san pinky-promise that he wouldn’t do that to her

when felix, chan and somi hugged her when ateez got their first win on m countdown

when she wrote another one of their iconic instagram live “please leave” signs in her pretty cursive handwriting

she really said “𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒 ❤️” 😭😭😭

when that one australian interviewer asked “if you don’t have any sexiness or charisma like me, what do you do then?” and she half-jokingly went “yeah, that’d be tragic”

cried at their concert in sydney and couldn’t sing for the remainder of the song they were performing because she was crying so much

said “sorry, this is his mission, i’m just here for moral support” when the employees at the pharmacy heard her speak fluent english and asked her to translate for mingi during ateez treasure film

(disclaimer: i’m pretty sure mingi mentioned in a v-live that the producers (?) of ateez treasure film told him to exaggerate the mission for entertainment purposes. so this is in no way trying to make fun of anyone’s english, and is intended to be light-hearted. as someone whose mother tongue isn’t english, and is currently learning a fourth language, i can say with full confidence that learning other languages is really, really hard and i’m so proud of the boys for their english!! in conclusion, mingi english king and mingi bestest boy!! 🥺)

climbed the sydney harbour bridge with seonghwa and mingi for the former’s mission

when they all went to juliet’s house in sydney to have dinner with her family during ateez treasure film; she also saw her cat in person for the first time in years and teared up because it had grown a lot

also cried during the confessional activity on the beach while filming ateez treasure film and clung to seonghwa and yunho for the rest of the activity

reacted to the ateez meme song with hongjoong

“ateez meh-meh song?” pls he’s so cute

*dying in the background* “MEME song” 😭

laughed for 5 minutes straight after seeing yunho in his thor costume

showed off a hydro flask that she customised during a v-live before going “sksksksksksksksk”; this moment went viral on stan twitter

eating fairy bread and toast with vegemite during a v-live

making the boys and their staff try vegemite

san: “ewwwww!”

“yAH! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT A SPOONFUL! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU EAT VEGEMITE!”

almost said “fuck” once during a v-live with wooyoung and he immediately slapped a hand over her mouth

“everyone, i apologise on her behal—JULIET WAS THAT YOUR TONGUE DID YOU JUST LICK MY HAND”

after joking about choosing a leader for the ‘99 line on idol radio, the djs asked juliet what leader she was, and she teasingly replied that she was the leader of k-pop’s “aussie line”; felix later brought this up in a v-live with chan to clown her

when it was time to shoot her solo scenes for the music video for answer no one could find her and everyone panicked until they found her curled up in a corner sleeping

was close to snapping during a group v-live because of the hate comments and didn’t bother masking her irritation towards the end; jongho had to pat her head to subtly calm her; this was the first time atiny’s ever saw her angry on camera and realised how scary she could be

when a few atiny’s brought juliet flowers during a fansign which made her incredibly happy for the rest of the event, so now atiny’s bring her flowers all the time

was so focused on eating during a v-live that she was completely oblivious to some of the boys quietly watching her eat adoringly

when an atiny told her that they hadn’t eaten yet at a fansign and she asked them to pinky-promise that they would eat something after the event

almost lost her shit with san when seonghwa rapped on weekly idol

covering “someone you loved” on weekly idol which went viral

almost died laughing when they sang “wonderland” in spanish on hello82

fangirled over basically every artist during mama 2019; clips of her just having the time of her life went viral and many asked about “the girl in the boy group who was jamming out”

when san almost gave her a heart attack by spinning the gold play button; she was still very impressed

rounded up all 8 of her members to sing “thank you” to them during “thank u” at their seoul concert and make them all emotional

during the same concert, she accidentally whacked herself over the head with her mic when waving to fans and went “ ᵃ ʰ ”

she’s babie :(

randomly asked “toes for fingers or fingers for toes” during a v-live and the other members looked at her like 👁👄👁 for a good minute

got very passionate about having fingers for toes being better than having toes for fingers

“how will you even find shoes that are big enough?” “custom shoes, duh🙄”

almost died laughing during san and mingi’s round in the “scream in silence” game during their v-live

nearly lost her cool from playing the “scream in silence” game with yeosang

“yOU I D I O T”

made friendship bracelets for herself, the boys, and some of their staff members on an episode of juliet’s archive; they can all be seen wearing the bracelets frequently

when she couldn’t attach the wristband to her lightiny and asked seonghwa for help, but he couldn’t do it either so they looked at each other in exasperation for a few seconds before deciding to give up together

wore her huge platform boots in a v-live so she could be taller than hongjoong, much to his dismay

when she tried to show her boots off by lifting up her leg, she forgot she was wearing a dress; seonghwa immediately panicked and moved in front of her to shield her from the camera, not knowing she was wearing shorts underneath the dress

watching seonghwa’s birthday v-live in the corner with san

when their staff brought out a “cake” that was built from packets of timtams for her birthday v-live and it made her so happy she almost cried

reacted to hongjoong’s cover of “black or white” during a solo v-live and teared up

when an atiny asked her to help with their maths homework during a v-live and she said “uh...i’m probably the last person you’d want to ask...”

cried during an inception music show performance because she got so into the performance; it scared atiny’s until she went on v-live explaining what happened

helping yunho expose san on weekly idol

when she imitated seonghwa’s “num-num” and did the “ottoke” song on weekly idol and made everyone on and off set soft for her

when her and wooyoung both lost it when yeosang sucked on a piece of radish on weekly idol during a game

when she said “i have the only braincell in ateez” and was almost immediately clowned by atiny’s who made compilations of moments when she acted questionably

“jeez, you guys didn’t have to come for me like that”

said “wow, geography king” when yunho said “thank you, scandinavia” for his “thanxx” acoustic poem during idol live tv

during a game on idol live tv, she caught wooyoung and yeosang copying the answer to the number of days since ateez’s debut from atiny’s live comments and subsequently changed her answer, unbeknownst to them

when even san didn’t want her to eat the “detergent hwachae” he, hongjoong, yeosang and mingi made on studiok

she ate it anyways and it was instant regret

“we’re not friends anymore >:(” — to jongho on ateez fever road after hongjoong found the real key which was attached to jongho’s bag all along

was so scared when the masked man appeared during ateez fever road that she hid behind hongjoong and they freaked out together

but started laughing when the masked man “kidnapped” wooyoung

“if we let you have him you won’t come back for us, right?” “yAH! BAEK MINYOUNG!”

then did the “7 makes 1 team” chant with the others, excluding jongho and wooyoung after the former suggested “saving” wooyoung

was slouching in a chair in the background of an ateez log but immediately got up and sat upright once the cameraman came over to film her while pretending nothing happened

when one atiny showed their cat during a video call with her and she went “CAT :D”

when she went on and on about her coffee preferences and opinions during a solo vlive without realising, and wooyoung had to call her for her to realise that she had been ranting about coffee for five minutes straight 💀

when she was about to fight hongjoong for slandering mint chocolate chip ice cream

being an iconic legend when she was on the kpop daebak podcast with eric nam (and also fangirled over him)

dancing to what type of x by jessi with san and yunho during their kcontact 3 interview

“jessi-sunbaenim i love you!!”

(a/n: ajshakjska this is so long i’m so sorry 😔😔)

[heyitsani]

Weight Of My Soul

Word Count: 11,084

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Mind manipulation, and Dick being a dick

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson

Summary: After a fight with Dick, Jason comes across a Jinn and makes a wish that will change everything.

Notes: This is dedicated to @epistemologys @nerd-by-definition @mlim8 @shannara810 @hedgebelle and @the-man-moth 

I don’t want to give any notes because it’ll spoil the story.  So if you need some, head to AO3 and read the end notes to understand the lore I used.  Or DM me and I’ll answer any question.

You can also read it on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you fucking insane?!” Jason growled as he pulled off his helmet the moment he and Dick landed on a rooftop far enough away from the crime scene to not catch the attention of the cops, but close enough to be sure they got there in a timely manner.  “Why the hell would you just give yourself over to them like that?  We had it covered, we were good.  Do you always have to be such a fucking masochist?!”  He knew he wasn’t technically being fair, that things had been starting to go sideways, but he was still so pissed that Dick hadn’t even warned him.  He had just jumped into the middle of the nest of criminals and “let them” get the drop on him.

“Why are you so upset? Everything worked out fine,” Dick pointed out, just making Jason’s temper flare hotter.  “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.  And I don’t need you thinking you have any right to fight my battles for me!”  He didn’t understand how the older man just didn’t get that people cared enough to not want him to sacrifice himself whenever he possibly could.  

It made Jason want to put his fist through the brick wall to his left.

With another growl and a choking motion with his hands, Jason turned and walked toward the furthest point of the rooftop, pulling his phone out at the same time.  “Stay over there.  I need a fucking minute!”  He snapped at Dick, who tried to follow him.  Dick stopped and Jason let out a huff of air as he dialed an all too familiar number.

“Jaybird,” Roy picked up on the second ring.  “Aren’t you and lover boy doing some big bust tonight?”  At the playful mention of Dick, Jason growled again and kicked the raised edge of the rooftop.  “Jay? What happened?”

“Code Green,” he said as controlled as he could, trying to focus on holding off the green haze as best he could.

Roy swore on the other end of the line and Jason could hear the telltale signs of the man moving around. “Are you safe?”  Jason gave a grunt and glanced over his shoulder to see Dick watching him from the other side of the rooftop, further than where he had initially been.  Part of him was thankful for him trying to give Jason the privacy he thought he needed. “Dick still there?”  Another grunt.  He didn’t need to speak for Roy to know that this episode was probably made worse by Dick without the older man even realizing it.  “You know the drill man.  Breathe in for five, hold for five, breathe out for five.”

Jason followed the instructions and tried to regulate his breathing, listening as Roy began telling a story about what Lian had done the other day.  It was a stupid story about a doll and a boy at school who had tried to take it from her.  

“Like her mom,” Jason rasped when Roy said she was a little badass.

Roy scoffed, faux offended at the fact that Cheshire was more badass than him.  But Jason wasn’t fooled.  Roy knew it too.  “You doing okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Jason let it out slowly and took stock.  The green edges on his vision had faded but he still felt like the smallest thing could set him off.  “I’m good. I’ll go home and sleep the worst of it off.”  Roy hummed and Jason knew he was still concerned.  “I’ll call you when I get to the safehouse.  I just need to be sure the cops do their part for this job with Nightwing.”

“Just be careful.  And you better call.”

Jason let out a soft chuckle and confirmed he would before he ended the call and turned to head back to where Dick was now standing, watching the distance.

“You know,” Dick started when Jason got close enough to hear his hushed voice.  And while most people knew Dick’s temper and how hot it burned when he was yelling, few knew this tone.  Few knew that when Dick got quiet and hushed after a fight, things were about to get ugly.  “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.  I think about it all the time, how one different choice could have changed the entire path our lives went down.”  Jason frowned, not entirely sure where Dick was going with this.  But he remained quiet as he came to a stop next to him and looked out at the flashing red and blue lights as the GCPD arrived on scene.  

He was still on edge from the Pit Haze, but he had it under control now at least.  Otherwise, he would have snapped at Dick to just say what he meant.

“If you had never been brought back by whoever it was that brought you back, then you wouldn’t be dealing with all of this now.”

Jason’s blood froze and he jerked back almost as if he had been slapped.  And Dick saw it, he saw the reaction but just kept looking at Jason as if he should have something to say in response.  But what did you say to someone who basically said you never should have returned?  That you should have stayed dead.

“Jay…”

“No,” he snapped, backing away from Dick and picking up his helmet.  “You stay the hell away from me.  Then maybe you can pretend that I never came back at all,” he said as he shot his grapple and took a running leap off the rooftop.  

He knew he was probably taking it differently than Dick meant, but he also knew that Dick went for the gut when he was upset.  He went for what he knew would hurt the most.  He had watched him do it with countless other people, but he had never expected to be on the receiving end of it.  Not when they had been so close to something.  Not when Jason had been trying to show Dick just how important he was to him.  How Jason’s whole world revolved around the older man.

That just made it all hurt even more.  To the point that his anger decided it was a safer option and took over his emotions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They kept their golden eyes trained on the man as he stormed around the ramshackle building he had run off to after the argument with the one in black and blue.  The power flowing over his skin was tempting and mouth watering and it was torture to have to wait for the words that could possibly not come.  But with the way the man had been muttering under his breath, they were certain the phrase was right around the corner. 

It was just a matter of waiting until he finally gave in.  And from what they had witnessed between the two men, it was going to be worth the wait.  Not only was this man dripping in power, rolling green waves of it surging over his skin, but he was lonely.  

So desperately lonely.

The fight made that clear with the words exchanged.  The man in black and blue had used emotional manipulation that even they themself could be proud of.  And they were almost tempted to see just how far that manipulation could go, but observation was only so fun.  And they were in the mood for a meal.

So they stood a short distance, watching the man pace back and forth, just waiting to hear the words.  And almost as if the man had heard their thoughts, he stopped in front of the random, broken mirror in the corner and uttered:

“I wish Dick Grayson had never come to Gotham.”

“Finally,” they whispered, snapping their fingers and revealing themselves to the man.  And they weren’t in any way surprised that there was a gun immediately pointed into their face.  “That will do you no good.  I’m friend, not foe.”  The man narrowed his eyes on them but made no move to lower the gun.  So they simply ignored it.  Moving lazily around the room, they ran their fingers over a plant on a table and along the back of a chair.  “I am here to help with your little birdie problem.”

“What are you?”

“I am Jinn.”  The man paused and frowned, his gun finally lowering to his side.

“You’re a genie?”  The man scoffed, but Jinn could tell he was digesting the information.  “As in three wishes?”

They lifted a rich brown shoulder, left bare by the black leather top they wore. “A fulfiller of dreams, I prefer to say. Of hearts desires.  Of wildest dreams.”  The man’s eyes remained narrowed, but interest had sparked within them. And they knew they had won.  “So like I said, I can help with your birdie problem.  If you want me to, that is.”

He paused and they waited, their victims were always so predictable. “What’s the catch?”

“You cannot wish me out of existence but otherwise, nothing will be required of you.”  That you know of at least, they thought.  “All you have to do is say it again.”

The man hesitated still, watching them closely as he weighed the pros and cons, and they were surprised he lasted this long.  The days they had been following him had exposed a lack of impulse control when emotions ran high.  But currently they would say he was almost…calculating.  And they were surprised, but they also respected it. The harder the sell, the better the prize.

“Fine,” the man finally said.  And they couldn’t stop the smile from slowly spreading across their face as the words were muttered again: “I wish Dick Grayson had never come to Gotham.”

“Your wish is my command,” they said as they snapped their fingers yet again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was as quick as a blink of his eyes.

One moment Jason was standing facing a stranger, a Jinn who apparently wanted to grant him a wish, and the next he was in the middle of the street of what looked like Gotham.  But there was something off, not just in the look but in the feel.

“What are you doing man?  Get out of the streets!”  A teenager ran past Jason, scurrying up a set of stairs and rushing into the building. The door slammed shut behind him and Jason frowned.  What had the kid so scared that he would warn a guy who looked like Jason did off the streets.  

He took a moment to look down at himself and noticed he still had all his gear on, guns in place, but no helmet.  But at least he had some protection on his person.  With that small comfort, he started making his way down what the dilapidated sign claimed to be Ward St.  Which meant he was in Crime Alley and maybe the kid was worried about the all too familiar criminals roaming the streets.  But he could handle the usuals easily and he doubted that just because Dick Grayson was never a presence in Gotham that his own life changed that much.

But the look of the city certainly had.  Even in the distance where he should have been able to see the shinning lights of the Diamond District, darkness seemed to bleed over the entire scape. It was surprising and concerning. Enough that he grabbed a flyer that was stuck under the body of a car that had been picked apart by thieves, leaving a shell of a machine to just rust in the streets.  

Looking over the flyer, Jason froze.

Beware the Bat!

Beneath the large, bold print was a crudely drawn image of Batman and a paragraph that offered shelter in various locations to citizens so they could avoid being on the streets after sunset.  But that didn’t make sense.  Batman scared criminals, he didn’t scare regular citizens.  He was an urban legend to most of them.  But he was also a sense of hope.  That had been his whole deal.

“Psst,” a voice called to Jason’s left and he looked over to see a head peeking out of a window of a dark house.  A familiar head.

“Roy, the fuck!”  Jason hurried over and slipped in the unlocked door, shutting it behind him.  But the instant it was shut, he was being pushed face first into it and his arm restrained behind his back.  “The fuck-?”

That only got him shoved into the door more.  “How the hell do you know my name?”  Roy growled from behind him and Jason had no idea how to respond to that. Roy, his best friend and saving grace, was asking how he knew him?  But then something sparked a thought.  No Dick Grayson meant no Robin and no Teen Titans.  It also meant Jason was never introduced to Roy through the Titans.  But surely the young heroes would have come together without the influence of Dick?  “Answer me!”

“I’m Jason Todd,” Jason ground out, consciously forcing himself not to struggle against Roy’s hold.  “I’m from a different…universe?”  The Jinn hadn’t exactly explained how their magic worked and Jason wasn’t sure he was that kind of smart to be able to figure it out.  “In my universe, you’re my best friend and former teammate.”

That seemed to give Roy pause for a moment before the man was backing away and Jason was able to turn around, keeping his back pressed to the door.  It also gave Jason a moment to look over Roy from where he stood a few feet away.  But Jason didn’t like what he saw.  The man looked sick, drawn out.

Strung out.

“Roy…are you okay?”  Jason asked carefully, glancing around the small space and taking in the various signs of the addiction that he hadn’t managed to kick yet.  “Roy what is wrong with Gotham?  Why are you here?  Where is Oliver?”

“Don’t say that name,” Roy spat out, turning and heading to the fridge. Jason watched with wide eyes as the man pulled out a beer and opened it, taking a long pull.  He couldn’t remember the last time Roy had allowed himself to drink. Too many comments about recovery not being easy and how he had to fight it every day.  This Roy apparently didn’t have that issue.  “What?”

But Jason was at a loss for words for a moment.  So he shook his head and looked around again, trying to find signs of another person living there.  Was Kori here too?  Or Lian? But it didn’t look like anyone else had ever set foot in this hell hole.

Looking down at the flyer still in his hand, Jason frowned.  “Why is everyone afraid of the Bat?”  Jason asked carefully, looking back to Roy.

“Because he’s dangerous.  Because he lays out more justice than the GCPD.  Because he doesn’t allow second chances or hope.”  But that made no sense to Jason.  Bruce was all about justice being through the system.  That had been their biggest issue, Jason didn’t think that certain criminals should be allowed that mercy.  But Bruce didn’t think they should make that call.

“Do you have a computer?”  Roy grunted and gestured to an open laptop on the kitchen table that Jason had somehow missed.  Hurrying over to it, he immediately woke it up and typed in the password his Roy always used.  He wasn’t surprised when it worked this time too.  Roy made a noise behind him at the action, but Jason couldn’t concern himself with that right then.  Instead he pulled up a web browser and typed in Dick Grayson in the search bar.

The results were surprising and Jason clenched a fist at the sight of them. Of course Gotham has fallen to shit and Dick Grayson has his perfect life.  

Gold Medalist Dick Grayson Returns to his Family Act: The Flying Graysons.

The life that Dick had deserved.  The life he should have had in their reality but never got because of a debt his parents were forced to pay with their lives.  

“Who’s the looker?”  Roy’s voice sounded behind him, causing Jason to jerk and turn to face him.  The man raised an eyebrow and took another drink of his beer.  “Someone you know in your world?”  Turning back to look at the picture of Dick on the trapeze, Jason pursed his lips before shutting the screen with more force than necessary.

“Roy, why are you in Gotham?”

The redhead tilted his head and shrugged.  “Safer than Star City.  Safer than most places.  At least Batman scares the citizens and the criminals.  No one can control it the way he does.  ‘Sides,” Roy said, finishing off his beer and tossing the bottle away, “I’m not welcome in Star anymore.”

“What about Speedy?”

“The fuck do you know about Speedy?  I never told anyone about that.”

“More than you will ever apparently.  This world is shit,” Jason grumbled, moving away from the table.  “Jinn!”  He called out, looking upward.  He didn’t know how this worked, but he didn’t want this to be the reality he was stuck in. Fuck Dick Grayson and his goddamn influence on everything in Jason’s world.  Fuck him and his manipulations to get people to do whatever he wanted them to do. It was just his luck that he eliminates the person who would make Gotham good and Batman better.

Just his fucking luck.

“JINN!”

“Oh stop your shouting,” the familiar husky voice sounded from behind him, the room fading to just the two of them.  The image of Roy had turned hazy and Jason frowned at that.  Was this part of their powers?  Pause reality before changing it.  Shaking his head, he turned back to Jinn and narrowed his eyes. “Something wrong?”

“This reality sucks,” he said, waving an arm in Roy’s direction before holding up the flyer.  “You cannot tell me that Dick fucking Grayson had this much power as Robin and then Nightwing.”  The Jinn shrugged a slender shoulder, much like they had in Jason’s safehouse earlier and Jason wanted to punch them.

“I do not create the reality; I only change the elements asked of me. You wanted Dick Grayson to have never come to Gotham,” they said, looking right at Jason with eyes that spoke of too many lifetimes and witnessing of too much pain.  “This is that reality.  He is a man with faults, but he inspires others to be their best apparently.”

But what was Jason supposed to do with that?  How was he supposed to just be okay with all this bad that happened because he had wished Dick out of Gotham?  He wasn’t the monster people thought him to be, that Dick thought him to be.  He wasn’t. He wanted to help.  He wanted to make a difference.  That’s why he had joined Batman to begin with.  That had been lost for a while after he had come back from the dead, but it was back now.  He was trying.  He was.

“It is within your power to change.”

Three wishes.  That’s what all the legends said, right?  He used one and now he had two more to perfect this.  But he had to be careful because his words could easily be used against him and interpreted incorrectly.  He had to be precise.  But he had to bring Dick back to Gotham.  He couldn’t be responsible for this.  But how was he going to fix this without landing himself right back into Dick’s orbit? The man didn’t want him there, had voice his opinion quite plainly.  Not even Jason could miss that fact.

“Maybe it would have been better for you if you had never come back at all.”

Clenching his jaw, Jason took a deep breath and held back the hurt and rage that filled him when Dick’s voice filled his mind, those words reminding him that what he thought was heading toward something good between them actually wasn’t heading anywhere.

Then the idea hit him.  “I want to go back to my old world, but to never have come across the Batmobile that night in the Alley.”  Jinn tilted their head and considered him in a way Jason wasn’t sure he was entirely comfortable with.  But then they raised their hand just like last time and quirked an eyebrow before snapping their fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shift between worlds was just as sudden as it was before, but this time Jason had been prepared and immediately took in where he had landed. But he wasn’t sure why it didn’t seem too different from where he was last time.  The only difference was it was daytime.  But the street looked just as abandoned as before and the city seemed eerily silent for what looked like around noon, going off the height of the sun in the smog gray sky.

And from the look of the buildings on the street, he was in the Diamond District. But it was quiet, too quiet for even a weekend day.  There should have been people all over the sidewalks and cars on the streets.  

It should have been bustling.

But it was abandoned.

“The fuck happened this time?”  Jason muttered to himself as he walked further into the neighborhood before quickly ducking behind a dumpster when he heard screeching tires and gun shots.  He peeked through the gap between the dumpster and the wall of the building he was hiding between.  He wasn’t sure who he was seeing, but something about the gleeful way they were acting told him this was normal.  They were comfortable in their actions.  Almost like they knew no one was coming to get them.

“Kid,” a harsh voice whispered behind him.  Glancing back, Jason saw someone waving over to him from a barely cracked door. Glancing back at the vanishing criminals, Jason quickly made his way to the door and slipped inside.  

After his encounter with Roy, he was expecting someone else he knew.  He wasn’t disappointed.  Lucius Fox stood in front of him, looking older and more exhausted than Jason remembered.  But he learned from his experience with Roy not to reveal he knew the other man.

“You hurt?”  Lucius asked, looking Jason over briefly.  Jason shook his head and looked around the main room of what looked like an office turned into an apartment.  “Then what the hell are you doing out there?  Only someone desperate would do something so stupid with Bane’s men joyriding and the PD in their back pockets.”

“Where is Batman?”  Lucius let out a snort before shaking his head slowly.  “I know you know who Batman is.  It’s hard to explain but I’m from another universe.  Batman is thriving in mine, where is he in this one?”  So much for not revealing who he was.

“Thriving you say?  And I know you?”  Jason nodded but remained silent while Lucius studied him closely.  With a frown, the man walked over to the counter and pulled a pen and paper from one of the drawers.  Quickly he scribbled on the paper before handing it to Jason.  “Batman is there.”

Jason looked at the paper and found an address.  One that looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. “You shouldn’t have too much trouble out there looking like you do.  Make the guns more obvious and they’ll think you’re one of them.  But keep them loaded just in case.”

“Thank you,” Jason said, pocketing the address and moving back over to the door. “Lucius, where is your family?” The look that clouded the older man’s face told Jason all he needed to know.  He had seen grief too many time.  “I’m sorry.”

“Aren’t we all?”

With one last glance, Jason ducked out the door and headed back down to the main street.  He knew the general area where Lucius said Bruce was so he headed that way. Thankfully he didn’t run into anymore of Bane’s men taking potshots.  He wasn’t really in the mood to get in a fight.  He was too focused on figuring out what the hell was going on in this city.  It was eerie and far too abandoned to be anywhere close to what he knew Gotham to be. This was a ghost town.

Pulling the paper out again, he looked at the street number and gauged where he was in relation, heading in the direction he needed to.  When he reached the right address, he realized why it looked so familiar.  The police station.  Looking down at the number again just to confirm this was right, Jason sighed and headed inside.

“You lost?”  The man at the front desk questioned.

Shaking his head, Jason slipped his hands into his pockets and made sure his guns were exposed.  “I’m here to talk to the Bats.”  The cop looked him up and down, taking in the quality of his weapons before shrugged and jerking his head to have Jason follow him.

“You aren’t going to get much out of him.  Don’t think the bastard has said a single thing since he turned himself in,” the guard said as he led Jason down the hall of empty cells that he was so used to seeing full of the random rogues and villains.  It was disconcerting to see it empty save for the one cell at the end of the hallway.

Jason took in the figure in familiar orange, sitting on a bench and hunched forward.  It wasn’t the first time he had seen Bruce in that position, but he had never seen the man look so broken before.  It made no sense to him.  What could have happened that led Bruce to this?  And the fact that Batman turned himself in?  Jason didn’t think the man thought anything he did was wrong.

But this was not the image of a man who was full of pride and self-importance.

“You got a visitor, Bats,” the guard called out as they reached the glass wall that Bruce was behind.  The guard tapped his baton on the glass when Bruce didn’t move, but the man remained unresponsive.  “Good luck, kid.  Buzz when you want out.”  The guard gave him a long look before turning to head back down the hall.

Jason watched him go before turning to look at the man behind the glass. From this angle, he could see that the usual body mass of Bruce was all but gone.  Before him was a thin, graying, and weathered man.  This was all wrong.

“Bruce,” Jason called, knowing that since he had wished his own influence out of Bruce’s life that the man wouldn’t know him.  But he hoped that calling him by his name might get a reaction. It didn’t.  

And then a thought hit him, one that probably should have hit him as soon as Lucius made it clear Batman wasn’t on the streets anymore.  And oh god he hoped he was wrong.  He hoped he was not about to get an answer to a question that haunted him since the day he returned and realized Bruce had left the Joker alive.

“Bruce, where is Dick?”

Bruce’s head whipped up and Jason took a step back at what he saw.  Pale skin, circles so dark under his eyes that they were practically black, but that had nothing on his actual eyes. Dead.  There was no other way to explain it.  They were the eyes of a man who had lost everything, including the will to live.

“Who are you?”  Bruce asked, voice raspy and rough with obvious disuse.  But there was emotion in it too.  Accusations unspoken.  If Jason was a nobody, he shouldn’t know about Dick’s connection to Batman.  But Bruce didn’t know of Jason’s true connection. Not in this world.

“I know about Robin and I know who Dick is to you.  I also know he would never let you do this to yourself.  So where is he?  Where is Alfred?”  Jason moved so he was standing practically nose to glass, eyes watching ever twitch and flinch of Bruce as he spoke.  “Bruce, where is Dick?”  He was starting to fill with dread.  This was wrong on a basic level, but there was something deeper and Jason wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

But still he had to know.

“Dead.”

Jason’s heart stopped.  “No.” He shook his head, looking away from Bruce to try and process that revelation.  Dick wasn’t supposed to be dead.  Bruce needed him, the previous world had proven that.  The world needed Dick Grayson.  “How?”  He whispered, hoping it was loud enough for Bruce to have heard him.

“Joker.”  And just like that Jason felt the pit rage surge.  He hadn’t been there for the Joker to get his hands on so he got them on Dick instead.  This was his fault.  Again, he had made a choice and people had suffered in ways they never should have. It never should have been Dick. “It was a trap.”  

Jason didn’t need to hear the rest of the story to know that it was pretty much exactly what had happened to him.  But it had happened to someone it never should have happened to.

“Where is the Joker now?”

“Dead.”  But it was said with so much regret and so much pain that Jason forgot to breathe for a moment.  Bruce had killed the Joker because he had killed Dick.  And it was obvious that it had destroyed Bruce.  Not just losing his son, but breaking his one rule of justice. Jason had never understood why Bruce was so adamant about no killing, especially the Joker.  Now he was seeing exactly why.  Would this have happened to him if Bruce had killed the Joker after Jason’s death at his hands?  Or was this just because Dick was forever the golden child?

“Jinn!”  Jason called out as he backed away from a now confused looking Bruce.  When Bruce’s eyes went wide, Jason knew Jinn had appeared behind him but Jason couldn’t look away from Bruce’s face.  He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the shame and guilt that remained even as he looked shocked at the appearance of Jinn.  “I wish Bruce Wayne had never become Batman,” he said without looking away from the man.  He didn’t bother to look and see if Jinn was listening, Jason knew they were.

And the sound of snapping fingers proved that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason felt cold the instant he touched down in the new world.  This was not a friendly world and it cried out in pain so loudly he could feel it in his bones.  And that wasn’t even taking into account the fact that Gotham looked like a warzone.  Buildings were missing half their levels and rubble littered the streets.  It was almost like looking at pictures from World War II in school so many years ago.

“What happened here?”  He asked the empty space.  He could tell there was no one nearby, not even the most reckless would trust any of these buildings.  But honestly, from what he could see in the distance, he would be surprised if there was anyone left in this city.

But without any other choice, he began walking down the street to once again figure out what had gone wrong.  He didn’t understand how things had gone so horribly with each of his wishes. But he knew this was wish number three which meant he was stuck.  Whatever this world was, it was his now.

“Come with us.”  Jason startled and turned to find two orange glowing figures floating behind him.  They looked like ghosts, but set his teeth on edge. There was something distinctly not right about them.  “Come with us.  Agent Orange will want to address you.”

“Who the fuck is Agent Orange?”  And why did it sound so familiar?  But the apparitions didn’t answer, simply grabbed an arm on each side, pulling him in the opposite direction of where he had been walking.

He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when he found himself being led up the steps of the city building a short while later.

Jason frowned at the piles of random items lining the aisle that had been laid out in the former city building.  The main structure was the same, but it had been completely gutted to make room for what looked like a massive throne with a figure in orange lounging lazily in it.  Whoever it was looked like they had taken a page out of the pimps of old and had someone make them a suit of orange velvet.  It was so horrendous it made his eyes burn, but at the same time he couldn’t look away.  The hat that sat perched upon their head completed the entire disastrous look with the cane resting against the arm of the throne.

Sparing a glance at the glowing orange apparitions guiding him down the aisle, Jason felt like maybe things were starting to piece together.  He remembered Kyle had told him the story of Agent Orange in the Vega system.  But he had claimed the creature holding the Orange Lantern was just that, a creature. This was most definitely a person.

Did that mean Larfleeze had finally been defeated?

“What have you for me, my pets?”

Wait.

No.

Jason knew that voice.  He would always know that voice.  It burned through his memories and scorched his dreams.  It was the voice of his greatest desires and biggest fears.  The voice that had caused this very situation he was in.

“Dick?”  Jason gasped when the person raised their head and Jason was finally able to see their face.  He looked different, a bit older and glowing with an orange light, but it was definitely Dick Grayson lounging on that throne in that disgusting suit like he didn’t have a care in the world.

He watched, mouth open and mind racing as he tried to grasp what was happening, as Dick shifted so his feet were resting on the ground, facing Jason fully. There was curiosity in his eyes, but there was something else there.  Something Jason had seen before but never this strongly.

Desire.

With a wave of Dick’s hand, the orange apparitions vanished and Dick and Jason were left alone.  “You know my Earth name,” Dick said, eyes narrowing as he stood from his throne. And suddenly Jason felt like prey. The slow steps down the massive throne made it look Dick was stalking him.  “But I do not know you.  Do I?”

Glancing around, Jason tried not to show how nervous this version of Dick was making him feel.  But he wanted to be able to protect himself if he needed to.  His guns had been left behind in the last world and now he only had his fists.

“Do I know you, Pet?”  

Jason shook his head, steeling himself.  “Not in this world.”  That caused Dick to pause at the last step, eyebrow raising in silent question. Jason swallowed.  This was so wrong.  Dick shouldn’t look like this.  Not just the awful clothes and throne, but the predatory look he had about him.  It wasn’t sitting right.  What the hell had happened to this Dick.  “I’m from a different universe.  One where you are not quite so…”

“Fabulous?”

Jason gave a snort.  “Not the word I was thinking of, no,” he shook his head.  But Dick just shrugged a shoulder and remained in his spot.  “You are the Orange Lantern.”

A slow, pleased, and proud smile spread across Dick’s face and Jason held back a shudder.  “I am. I was once the pet of Larfleeze until he got too comfortable, and I took what was mine from him.”  That explained the pet fixation Dick seemed to have.  Jason watched Dick descend the final step and wander over to one of the tables laden with sweets.  “I came back to Earth because it is mine.  I took it from its useless rulers and claimed it as my own.  The other worlds know that if they come here and try to steal what’s mine then they face certain death.”  Dick popped a truffle into his mouth, the air about him so casual about the mention of killing.  The Dick he knows would be appalled at the thought of killing anyone.  But a Dick influenced by greed and possessiveness fed by the Orange Lantern?  Maybe.

“Is there anyone alive on Earth?”  Jason asked, curious since he had yet to see another living body. Dick’s hand paused halfway to his mouth, another truffle in hand.  That was answer enough for Jason.

“There are a few resistance pods,” Dick offered, unconcerned.  “They are…annoying.”  Dick’s lip curled in disgust and Jason was actually surprised.  And curious.  He wondered who would be strong enough, smart enough to evade someone who basically had ghosts doing his bidding for him.  “But they are insignificant.”

And Jason felt sadness for Dick with that comment.  His Dick loved people, sacrificed himself daily for absolute strangers.  But this Dick?  This Dick seemed to have no love in him.  It made Jason’s chest ache.  It made him miss his Dick, the real one.  

“I am going to keep you,” Dick said after a few moments, turning a predatory gaze onto Jason that made him uncomfortable yet again.  There was just something so wrong with seeing that look on Dick’s face.  “What is your name, Pet-o-mine?”

Scrunching his nose at the nickname, Jason held back a shudder.  “Jason Todd.”

Dick hummed as he moved closer, looking almost as if he were gliding.  “I do not know a Jason Todd of this world, but you shall be mine now.  Let us feast.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pet, did you say it was a Jinn who sent you here?”  Dick leaned forward in his chair and Jason felt as though his stare would burn right through his core.  It had been a handful of days since he had come to this world and while he was still struggling to get used to this version of Dick, he was feeling slightly more comfortable.

“I did,” he confirmed the comment he made only moments ago.

But apparently that wasn’t something Dick wanted to hear because he had abruptly stood from his chair and gripped the edge of the long table.  “Does your world not tell of Jinn lore?”  Jason frowned, unsure of why that would seem strange, but shrugged a shoulder all the same.  “This is not an alternative universe for you then.  This is a dream.”

Jason furrowed his brow, not sure he understood what Dick was telling him. Hadn’t Jinn told him this was an alternate universe?  But thinking back to that initial encounter, he wasn’t sure that was actually ever said.  “A dream?”

“Yes, My Pet.  A Jinn is known for feeding off the soul or “life-force” of their victims while providing them illusions of their most perfect reality,” Dick explained, eyes taking a slightly panicked edge to them.  “How many realities have you visited?”  His words sounded desperate as he pushed away from the table and hurried over to where Jason still sat.  “How many, Pet?!”

“This was my third wish.”  Dick stopped with a gasp.  But Jason had no idea why that was so concerning.  Why did it matter that he had made his three wishes?  Did something happen once the third wish took hold?  “Dick?”

“You need to find a way out of here.  You need…” Dick looked away and gazed off into the distance, seeing something Jason wasn’t sure about.  But despite that, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to find his way out of an illusion that was being forced upon him.  How could he fight something in his head?  “You have already spent too much time here with me, I do not know how much time you spent in the others.  You might not have much time left.”  Dick sounded concerned, lost, and determined all at once.  Jason had no idea how it was possible, but it was there.

“How am I supposed to get out of here?”

“Will your Dick be coming for you?  You’ll have already been missing for a few days.  Will he come for you?”  It was a good question, but it wasn’t one Jason had an answer for.  Would Dick?  After the fight where Dick told him he wished he had never come back from the dead?  But was that actually what Dick had meant?  Jason knew the man’s temper and looking at this version of Dick, he knew how possessive he could be.  Was Dick speaking from jealousy over Roy?  “Pet, will he come for you?”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted.

But Dick got a familiar stubborn look on his face and shook his head.  “If he feels an ounce of the possessiveness I immediately felt, then he will come.  Is he strong?  Is he a fighter?  You are not normal, you know about the Lantern Corps.  Is he like you?”  Jason nodded, Dick was one of the strongest people he knew.  Not just physically.  

Jason opened his mouth to question Dick, to see if he had any idea how he could break the illusion from within, when the world went blurry around him and a familiar figure appeared in front of him.  “You have been naughty,” Jinn said, voice tense and eyes burning. Jason didn’t say anything in return, just raised his chin in defiance.  “I knew you were strong, I could feel your power on the other side of the planet.  I wish I had known someone had informed you of my lore before I put you under.  I would have kept a closer eye on your illusions.”

“So you lost.  Let me go.”

Jinn let their mouth fall open and the corners of their mouth tilt upward as they clicked their tongue.  “Did I?” And deep in his core Jason knew what was coming.  But despite lunging immediately, he couldn’t stop Jinn from snapping their fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But when the world refocused around him, Jason noticed something was different.  The world wasn’t a mess and it also wasn’t moving.  He had landed in the middle of a living room he didn’t recognize.  The areas he could see were warm, welcoming and just to his taste.  If he had ever settled down, this would have been his décor of choice.  But more than that, Dick stood frozen in mid pour of a cup of coffee in the kitchen wearing just a pair of low slung sweatpants. Jason walked over to the man, looking him over.  

The orange glow he had gotten used to was gone and he looked healthier and less scarred than his memories allowed.  This was a Dick who hadn’t been a vigilante for more than half his lifetime. This was a Dick who probably worked a regular job, maybe at Wayne Industries, and came home to his family each day with a smile on his face.

“This can be yours.”  Jason spun and found Jinn leaning against the doorway leading to what looked like a nursery. He wanted to shove past them and get a closer look, but he resisted.  “I can give you this life if you just stop fighting me.”

“But it isn’t real and you’re killing me.”

Jinn scoffed and stepped further into the room.  “You put your life up for bargain every single night you go out as Red Hood.  This is no different.”

But it was different.  “I have no choice in this.  I have no chance of survival.  But out there,” Jason pointed toward the wall of windows allowing sunlight to reach every corner of the living area, “I have a chance.  I have a choice.”

“Don’t you want to know what it would be like to have him love you the way you so desperately love him?”  Jinn waved a hand and everything seemed to unfreeze.  Jason glanced over and saw Dick slipping the coffee pot back into the holder before turning to smile brightly at him.

“Is Thomas still sleeping?”  Dick asked as he came closer and pressed the warm coffee into Jason’s hand, pressing a kiss to his lips in the same moment.  Jason felt his heart stutter at the action, his eyes falling shut against his will.  He had been dreaming of kissing Dick Grayson since he was thirteen years old and here he was, doing just that.  When Dick finally pulled back, that beautiful smile on his face yet again, Jason looked past him to see Jinn watching with an amused smile on their face.

When Dick moved away to go check the nursery, Jason looked down at the cup of coffee and then back to Jinn.  The world went frozen again and Jason shook his head.  “This isn’t real.  It’s not him and this isn’t our life.”

“But it could be.  It would be as easy as falling asleep.”  But it wasn’t real, and Jason knew that now.  “Bastard,” Jinn muttered, seemingly distracted by something but Jason couldn’t figure out what.  Jinn’s attention slipped from Jason and the man took the moment to fully assess what was happening.  Jinn was desperate.  They were practically begging him to accept this reality which meant something had changed. Something more than his being aware of what was happening.  Because if it had just been him, Jinn could have focused solely on him.  And if their attention was split, that meant help had arrived.

Dick.

Jason didn’t know how he knew, but he did.  He knew deep in his core that Dick had come and now Jinn was having to face him.  And though Jason was still hurt by the words that Dick had said during their fight, the fact that he was there fighting to save him meant more than he could say. That he had come for him.  

“Give into me,” Jinn finally growled at him, eyes blazing gold and furious. “Give in and end this.  You won’t last much longer and will likely die before you even regain consciousness.  Just give in!”

But Jason just let the cup of coffee fall from his hands and a smirk to spread across his lips.  “No.”  Jinn gave a growl before snapping their fingers and plunging them both in darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know, Timmy.  Maybe he skipped town,” Dick muttered as he hopped off his motorcycle and looked up at the final safehouse the family knew about.  He hadn’t seen or heard from Jason in three days and none of the family or Roy had either.  And as much as Dick loved Roy, he did not want to have to sit through yet another lecture from Jason’s best friend.  The one he got earlier in the day was enough.  Dick knew he had fucked up, he knew it.  He knew he let his emotions beat out his logic and pettiness took hold.  He knew he was the one at fault.

But how could he be expected to be better, to make amends, if Jason was hiding from him?

“He wouldn’t have just checked out without telling anyone he was leaving. He didn’t even tell Roy.”  And yeah, Dick knew Tim had a point.  Roy had said he wouldn’t have told Dick where Jason was, but he would tell him that he was aware of the location.  But Jason hadn’t called Roy since the fight he had with Dick three nights ago.  “Just check the safehouse and then come back to the Cave.  We’ll regroup if he’s not there.”

Looking up to the fire escape stairs, Dick jumped and pulled himself up them quickly and efficiently.  “Yeah okay,” Dick responded into the comm as he pulled himself up to the roof.  He knew this particular safehouse had a few skylights he could enter through, one in particular was right above Jason’s bedroom space.  “Lights are on in one room,” he informed Tim as he stuck to the shadows and made his way to the skylight where he could see the light coming from.  He knew it was the one above Jason’s room and knew it likely meant the man was there.  Roy would have mentioned borrowing the safehouse when Dick mentioned searching them.

“Is he there?” Tim asked distractedly, the clicking of a keyboard in the background.  But Dick found himself frozen on the sight in front of him.

Jason was laid out on his bed, eyes closed and body relaxed as if in sleep. But his face was pale and drawn, almost sickly.  “Something’s wrong.”  Dick relayed, quickly feeling the edge of the skylight for the outside latch to open it. He had only used this particular one a few times, but he easily found the latch and unlocked it so he could drop gracefully beside Jason’s bed.

“What do you mean something is wrong?”

Glancing around, Dick kept quiet and listened for anyone else possibly in the safehouse.  But it was almost deathly silent, so Dick moved over to Jason’s side and leaned over him, feeling for a pulse.  “He’s still alive but he looks sick and is unresponsive,” Dick whispered, still not trusting that they were alone.  Jason had been the picture of health when they had separated the other night.  And the fact that Jason was still in his gear was another red flag.  Jason never came into this room in his gear because of the skylight.  

“Never know who’s watchin’, Dickie.”  He had said when Dick had asked him about it.

“Jay?”  Dick called softly, patting the man’s cheek.  But there was no response and Dick almost jerked back at the cold, clammy texture of his skin.

“I should have known,” a husky voice interrupted his examination of Jason and caused Dick to grab the gun that Dick knew Jason kept tucked between his mattress and headboard, whipping around to point it at whoever was there.  And though he didn’t recognize the individual before him, he definitely wasn’t going to let down his guard.  “Humans, so predictable.”

“Who are you?”

“Someone you do not wish to tango with, Birdie,” they said, half smirk and eyebrow raised.  

Dick narrowed his eyes, not sure how to approach this since he wasn’t in his gear.  He had come to Jason as a civilian.  So he had his fists and Jason’s gun.  But he had no protective gear.  He would be vulnerable in ways that could be dangerous.

“Dick who is there?” Tim sounded in his ear but Dick ignored him.  It wasn’t like he had an answer.

“Who are you?”  Dick demanded again, shifting to cover more of Jason’s body with his own.  If he was going to go down in this fight, he would protect Jason as best he could.  “What did you do to him?”

The person glanced at Jason behind him before shrugging a shoulder.  “I granted a wish.”

A wish?  Why the hell would Jason wish for this?  “A wish?”

“Wait, did they say wish?” Dick gave a grunt but didn’t say anything so not to alert whoever this was that he had help.  He could hear Tim’s typing speed up to an almost frantic pace. “Damian!  Get me that Hindu lore book!”  

The individual sauntered further into the room and leaned against the dresser Jason had shoved against the opposite wall from the bed.  “Yes, just a wish.  You threw our boy into quite the tizzy, Birdie.  Did you know what you were doing when you said those words?  Did you feel regret immediately or did you have to calm down first?”

“What do you know about it?”  Dick growled, hand tightening on the gun still pointed at the person.

“I was there when the fight happened.  I was there when he called his friend and vented about the cruelty of your words.”  Dick clenched his jaw.  For some reason this matter-of-fact analysis of the fight with Jason was worse than the lecture Roy had given him.  “I was there when he realized that you didn’t want him around.  When his hope…vanished.”

“Hope for what?”

They chuckled and shook their head, gaze amused.  “You.  Both of you. Together as you humans tend to do.”

“It’s a Jinn, Dick!” Glancing over his shoulder to look down at Jason, reconciling the image with what little he knew about Jinn lore, Dick tried to process quickly.  “You need iron, they’re susceptible to iron.  Damian and Bruce are on their way to you now.”  Iron.  Help was on the way.  

“He was so desperate to eliminate the pain you caused that he wished you out of his life.”  Dick suddenly felt cold, looking back to the Jinn.  “You’re surprised?  I bet you are the kind of person who thinks everyone loves them and will always forgive them, even when they make the most grievous of mistakes.  So self-important that you think you’re above consequences.”  But Dick didn’t think that, did he?  Did he think himself better than everyone else?  No, not usually.  Usually, he put his own well-being behind everyone else.  But he wasn’t so unaware that he didn’t know he could be cruel when he let his anger take hold.  And when that anger was backed by jealousy and the feeling of not being enough? Yeah, he could be nasty.  

But to the point where Jason would actually wish him away?

“I suppose the joke was on him though, he learned just how true the self-important spiel is when it comes to you.”  Dick didn’t even want to consider what they meant by that.  No.  He didn’t care if Jason woke and told him he never wanted to see Dick again.  All that mattered was making sure Jason was able to wake again.

So quickly he scanned the room for what could possibly be iron.  But there was nothing.  Then he remembered that Jason had a fireplace in this space and that meant iron tools to stroke the fire.  But how was he going to get to it when he was protecting Jason?

“Two minutes out.”

He had two minutes to figure something out.  But every idea meant leaving Jason vulnerable and he didn’t know if he could risk that.  Maybe if he pissed the Jinn off enough to focus on him he could make sure they left Jason alone.

“Have you figured it out yet?”  The Jinn asked, looking as cocky as they did when they appeared.

And Dick made a call he hoped he wouldn’t regret in the end.  Clicking off the safety, he pulled the trigger of Jason’s gun and shot a bullet to the Jinn’s shoulder before running out of the room in search of the iron.

“You are more trouble than you’re worth, Birdie,” they growled, appearing in front of Dick in a puff of blue smoke just as he closed his fingers around the fire poker that he was really hoping was actually iron.  “You think you can save him?  You think he wants you to save him?  You think you’re anything?!”

Good, get angry.  Focus on me, Dick thought as he swung the poker in a circle to test the weight and balance.  Tucking Jason’s gun in the back of his pants, Dick grabbed the shovel with the other had and crouched into a fighting stance.

“I think you’re worried I can do just that.”  It was more confident than Dick actually felt as the two of them circled each other, but he knew how to put on a show.  He knew how to play the part.  And that’s what he planned to do.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason knew it was over before he even opened his eyes.  The fact that he had to open his eyes proved that fact. He had been with Agent Orange Dick the longest and never once had he slept.  Looking back, he could see the signs of it being a dream and not reality. But he had been in too deep with the illusion to notice on his own.  His mind had to help him along.

But the fact that he knew he had been asleep also meant that his rescue had been a success.  And that meant either Jinn was dead or contained.  And he was back to face his actual reality with the truth of what he had learned about the influence of Dick Grayson on not just his life, but the world.

“Jay?”  Speak of the devil.  Jason blinked his eyes slowly and stared up at the ceiling of what he immediately recognized as the medical bay in the cave.  He hated this place.  “Jay?” Dick called again, voice sounding concerned enough that Jason found the energy to turn his head toward the other man. “There you are,” Dick sighed, relief filtering over his features.

“Jinn?”

“Were you aware of what they did?”  Jason blinked, trying to clear the fog that was taking forever to dissipate from his mind. “Bruce took them to the Watchtower for the League to handle, if they survive.”  Furrowing his brows, he silently asked Dick what he meant.  “I got a little stab happy with your fire poker.”

Jason took a moment to process that.  Iron, right.  “You came.” And though Jason was still hurt by the words Dick had said, he felt bad at the look of guilt his own caused.

“I had been searching for you everywhere.  You just dropped off the map for three days and no one, not even Roy knew where you had gone,” Dick explained.  Three days was a long time for any of them to go without contact, so Jason could understand the need to look into it.  He couldn’t believe it was three days though, it had felt longer and shorter at the same time.  “I was just trying to apologize for what I said, but then I found you practically comatose and…”  Dick shrugged a shoulder, looking away.  

Jason took the moment to look the other man over.  He looked tired.  His hair was a mess, probably from running his hand through it constantly.  And his clothes were wrinkled as if he had been living in them for the past couple of days.

“Jay, I shouldn’t have said what I said.  I didn’t mean to make it seem like I wished you never came back.  That’s not true,” Dick said, looking back to Jason who was frozen at the look of regret.  “I am thankful every day that you came back.  And when I said that, I meant I wish you didn’t have to deal with all the side effects the Pit left behind.  Not that I didn’t want you back.”

Jason remained silent, furrowing his brows as he listened.  Trying to make sense of the words when his brain had been so sure Dick had meant he wished Jason had never come back at all.

“I’m bad at handling my anger.  And I’m worse at holding back when I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?  What do you have to be jealous of?”

Dick looked away again, a splash of pink dusting his cheeks.  And Jason was sure his brains had to have been really scrambled for all of this to be happening.

“I was,” he paused, shaking his head but still refusing to look back to Jason. “I am,” he corrected, “jealous of your friendship with Roy.”

Of Roy.  Dick was jealous of Roy.  What?  “What?”  Jason stupidly asked and Dick shrugged a shoulder, ducking his head and glancing at Jason.  If he wasn’t so confused, he’d find it endearing.

“You need Roy.”  Jason nodded dumbly, still confused.  “When we were arguing, you stopped to call him so he could talk you down when all I could do was push you to that point.”  And the pieces were finally starting to click into place.  A little at least.  “You don’t need me.  Even though we’re…I don’t know, what are we?  Friends?  Partners? More?”  The question was there in his eyes and Jason knew that the doubts he had about what Dick’s true feelings were unfounded.  “I was jealous that you need him but not me.  I’ve been jealous about that for a while.  And it makes me question whether or not I’m good enough to be anything to you when you need someone else more than you need me.”

“Dick,” Jason reached out and grabbed the other man’s hand that was resting on the edge of his bed.  “Just because I need Roy more right now doesn’t mean I won’t need you more in the future.” Watching Dick lift his head to look at him more directly, he recognized the confusion in his eyes.  “But I can’t do a fight like that again, Dick.  I can’t.  I-” Dick’s hand quickly covered his mouth and stopped him from saying anything more.

“Roy gave me quite the lecture and eye-opening speech.  I know.  I fucked up royally and it played you in every way I knew it would.  It was…manipulative and cruel.”  And yeah, Jason couldn’t argue with that.  Dick looked contrite and thoroughly chastised.  He’d have to ask Roy exactly what he said to the man. “I’m sorry.  I am.  And I’m not asking you to forgive me, but I’d like to be able to prove that I won’t do it again.”

Jason considered what Dick was saying, unsure of whether or not he should offer the forgiveness Dick said he wasn’t asking for or not.  He didn’t want to let Dick off the hook, but he also knew when the man was telling the truth.  And after seeing exactly how his life could have been without Dick’s influence, Jason didn’t want to know what would happen if he let Dick slip away now.

“Okay,” was what came out instead of the elaborate thoughts.

“Really?”

Jason nodded and squeezed the hand still holding onto Dick’s.  “Those dreams showed me some pretty hard truths about life without you and I don’t want to see what this life would be like without you.” Dick looked stunned, like he wasn’t expecting Jason to admit to what it was he had seen inside the dreams.  “I’m still upset and it’s going to take a while for me to get over it, but life is much better with you in it.  For everyone.”

Dick looked slightly awed at the comment, but then hesitant.  And Jason knew exactly what Dick was going to say next. “What exactly did you wish for, Jay?”

Jason hesitated for a moment because he wasn’t sure Dick needed to know the depths of how hurt he was.  That he had been at the point he would actually wish Dick out of the world.  Out of his world.  Because Jason knew that once his anger had calmed a bit, if Jinn had offered a little later, he never would have made that wish.  He would have probably wished for that last ditch effort illusion.  He would have wished to be happy.  To know what it was like to be happy with Dick.

“Jay?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Jason looked at Dick’s curious face and sighed. “The wrong thing, but if I hadn’t then I probably wouldn’t have figured out what was happening.  You were the Orange Lantern in the final wish, obsessed with taking everything for yourself,” Jason offered instead of telling of the first two.  “You were so obsessed with me that when I mentioned a Jinn had sent me there, you told me what a Jinn does.  You were consumed with the thought of me dying on you that you told me I needed to get out of there.”

“I wonder why your illusion told you to fight back if it was there because of the Jinn.”

“Because the Jinn only created the illusion, it was still Jason’s mind controlling it,” a voice interrupted.  Jason looked past Dick to see Bruce standing in the doorway.  He didn’t want to admit how good it was to see him in this state. He would probably never forget the look of the man in the jail cell.  “And when Dick showed up as a distraction, the hold the Jinn had loosened and your mind could actively fight back.  But I am curious, how did you know about the lore?  If you hadn’t, you never would have been able to succeed.”

Jason shrugged but then remembered a few months ago when he had been with Damian in the library.  “Damian,” he said, trying to remember exactly what had happened.  “He showed me a Hindu lore book he had found and mentioned the Jinn.” Jason looked at Dick who was smiling, most likely proud that his favorite brother had a direct influence on Jason’s survival.  “Let’s not tell him.  He’s got enough of an ego as it is.”

Dick laughed and they both looked over at Bruce who looked…almost pleased. “I am glad we got to you in time, Jason. Alfred will be down shortly to check you over and give you all clear.”  Jason nodded, mind still reconciling this image with the one from the illusion. Bruce gave Dick a nod before silently leaving the two of them alone.

“I understand why he never kills now,” Jason spoke, still looking at the spot Bruce had been standing.  Dick remained silent and Jason knew he was waiting for Jason to elaborate or change the subject since it had still been an issue up until then.  “In the world where I wished I had never met Batman, you had died.” He looked over at Dick with a heavy sadness, remembering how much it had hurt to learn that Dick had died at the hands of the Joker.  “And he killed the Joker because of it, out of anger or depression maybe.  I’m not sure.  But he turned himself into the police and the man he became…”  Jason shook his head and took a deep breath.  “He wasn’t Bruce anymore.  His life had bled out of him and he was a shell.”

“He has his walls he’s built around himself, but he’s still just a man,” Dick said, and Jason nodded.  He saw that now.  Bruce wasn’t this infallible person they all seemed to think he was because that was what they wanted him to think.  

“Hey Dick?”  Jason prompted, needing to lighten the mood in the room.

“Yeah Jay?”

“Don’t ever invest in an orange velvet pimp suit okay?  You were like fucking Smaug and I will never be able to scrub those images from my mind.”  Dick’s jaw dropped and Jason let out a laugh.  

[whyqueerbaitingisbad]

movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding  kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r  h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character. 

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002) 

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH. 

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018) 

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

[huearmy]

The Smell Of Truth - VI

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 6751 

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Grafic description of food. If you are hungry, eat before you read this. Seriously. AND. Jungkook have a anxiety attack, the description is light and focuses mainly on techniques to control the attack, but be aware if you are sensitive to the topic. Even because I wrote this part to help those who, like me, suffer from chronic anxiety and not to trigger anything :) Be safe.

A/N: Sorry it took too long, my head is messy, and I working on something new, and didn’t ajust myself to it yet.

THIS IS A TRANSITION CHAPTHER! I HAD A HARD TIME TO DEVELOP IT AND I STARTED EVERYTHING AGAIN AT SOME POINT AFTER AN MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

Chapter I  Chapter II  Chapter III  Chapter IV   Chapter V  - Chapter VII

One month has passed by since Jungkook first moved in. The apartment looks pretty much like his now, little details showing up his presence here and there, like his personal hygiene items in the bathroom, and his pairs of shoe in the shoe cabinet by the front door, the air filled with his favorite music which he discovered himself on spotify and youtube, the kitchen cabinets and the fridge are full of things you wouldn't normally buy but he would, and all of your streaming accounts now have two user profiles. At first Jungkook didn't think about it too much, you're just so welcoming to him, but he started paying attention to how he should or could or couldn't act to not bother you, since his presence itself is a big change in your routine. You made it very clear, even without saying it out loud with all the words, that this attitude was something mutual so that the two of you could live well together. Still, it wasn't a good first month... not that it was a bad one either, because it wasn't. It's just that... ________________________________________________________________________________________ First of all. In the first ten days everything was taken and shaped by the boyfriend phenomenon. Said name for this unfortunate situation involving Jackson was given by Jungkook's therapist in the first appointment, but we'll talk about this later. Basically all your attention and time were totally directed to your boyfriend during the whole period that he was in the city, and even though he preferred to stay in his own apartment instead of with you - as is usual the two of you - it looked like he had moved in, because when Jungkook wake up in the morning he is already there, in the living room monopolizing the tv, and when he was going to sleep at night, Jungkook could still hear the guy making you laugh in the kitchen. This was justified with a "Soon I have to go back to the capital to work and we will be apart from each other for a long time. We need to make up for it!" And after saying that, Jackson would pull you around the waist to kiss you on the temple, and you would just smile, avoiding eye contact with your face red. At the end of that time, Jungkook got closer to your friends - now his friends too - than to you, who live with him.  Of course you tried not to leave him feeling isolated, after all Jungkook is the exception of your heart, and although you are not used to it, you have a huge affection for him... hard to explain. You did everything you could to try to make him feel comfortable around Jackson - since early on you noticed Jungkook's reservation about him - including him in the conversations and also taking time just for the two of you. But it was difficult, because besides your boyfriend, the weather closed for days canceling all picnic and park plans, an you still had two jobs to deal with, and one of them - that of the law firm - was almost abusive as much work you had to do. Jungkook noticed your exhaustion and wanted not to charge you too much, but at the same time he didn't want to give up lying on the couch with you to watch a movie late at night to receive a pet on his hair.

One night, after Jackson was gone to his apartment, the two of you were doing just that. A blanket covered the two of you on the couch, keeping you warm while a cartoon played on the TV. Jungkook's head was lying on your chest, and you lazily messed with his hair. He could hear your heartbeat, and your voice vibrate as you laugh and comment on the episode. After a while your hand stopped and there was only the sound of your heart, and he saw that you had fallen asleep.

"Y/N?" He whispered to you, getting no response. He thought that you weren't in the most comfortable of positions, with a slightly bent neck on the pillow, so he considered taking you to your room to let you sleep better... He was sleepy too. He thought about it so much, looking at you sleeping, trying to decide, that he slept above you.  

Can't tell how much time has passed, probably not much, but Jungkook was even dreaming when the front door click opening broke his slumber slightly, he wasn't awake yet, but he was listening to the steps of someone walking around the apartment. It was Jackson looking for his phone he forgot. If it weren't for the TV on, he wouldn't have seen you two sleeping on the couch in the dark room, when he went to turn it off he came across the lovely scene of you two unconscious and piled up with pillows and Jungkook's stuffed bunny. After he took a picture with your phone, he went on picking you up to get you to bed, carefully taking Jungkook's arm out of your waist and pushing him aside. Needless to say, Jackson was unaware that the hybrid's protective instincts are strongest when he sleeps. You had your reasons for not telling your boyfriend  about Jungkook 's past, like respecting Jungkook's privacy and feelings, and well, maybe Jackson wouldn't like knowing how you got hurt days ago, and that problem you didn't want to have to deal with. Still, maybe some little thing you should have said.

You woke up in a jump, by a scream, and a loud growl followed by a "no" that sounded more like a bark. For Jungkook, in the first few seconds, all he knew was that someone was trying to get you out of him, and never that he was going to let it happen. Jackson threw himself back against the coffee table, withdrawing his hand so as not to be bitten, feeling his heart in his throat in the greatest fright he has ever had in his life.

"JK?" You seated up.

Jungkook looked from you to Jackson, understanding what he did, his ears flatting down on his head. His fists were clenched, holding the fabric of your shirt as if his life depended on it. The other night he hurt you, Jungook felt guilty, and afraid that you would stop loving him, now in the presence of a man, he was also afraid of the punishment that he was sure would come.

"Sorry..." He muttered. "I didn't mean to... Y/N I'm sorry..." You let a relaxed laugh get out your mouth. The situation wasn't funny to you. Actually, you could see how apprehensive Jungkook was, and deduce why. On the other hand, Jackson was frightened, and not only by the jump scare, you could see he was overthinking... What you needed to do was to relax the tension of the situation, and for that you would make them see that you are relaxed. Again, you are a good actress when you need to.

"No need to apologize, JK. He scared you, didn't he?" You laugh, and then you give Jackson a mocking glare. "And you almost shit yourself..." Jackson looked outraged at you, but when he spoke there was laughter in his voice.

"Listen, young lady. I wasn't...!"

"I heard you screaming." You cut him off. "Why are you here again by the way?" You stretched and tried to fix your shirt, but Jungkook was still strongly attached to it. Jackson looked around, as if he was remembering something.

"I forgot my phone here, just don't remember where."

"I think it must be in the office. I remember you using it there" You simply said and Jackson went up the stairs with a nod.

When there was no sign of him, you finally turned your attention to Jungkook, who was still in his curled position beside you, face hidden in you. He was shaking slightly and it broke your heart. You put a hand on his head, fixing his messy hair.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I did it again." His voice was small.

You sighed, placing a kiss on the high of his head.

"You were suddenly brought up. We all got frightened. Nobody is hurt. We laughed it off. It seems to me that everything is pretty fine." You made him look at you. "If I tell you it is all okay, do you believe in me?"

He nodded. "But Jackson... I showed him my teeth. He may be mad at me, and..." He gulped. "Shhhhh." You took his hands on yours, making him let go of your shirt.

"Jackson is a soft hearted guy, he won't be mad at you for something like this. And if it makes you feel better I can talk to him..."

"No!" He exclaimed, interrupting you. "Don't tell him nothing. You'll have to explain about me and I don't want to..."

"It's ok. If you don't want me to say nothing. I won't." You promised. Jungkook hugged his bunny with one of his arms, lowering his eyes.

"It's just that I don't want anyone to know where I came from, or what I did. I didn't tell you everything, even though I trust you... I trust you only."

You can relate with that, you can understand why he doesn't want to expose himself. It's fear of rejection, and you can do nothing but respect, and also, give all the love you have to give, and hope that at least half of it reaches his heart.

"Come here." You opened your arms to him. "Need me to put you to bed?" He laughed.

"No. Thanks."

You pulled from each other, and you got up from the couch, picking up the pillows and the blanket. Jungkook was weeping tears on his cheeks and looking cute.

"Damn, I'm crying again..." He chuckled, turning the TV off.

"Good night, JK." You fondly said.

"Good night, Y/N. Sleep well."

He followed you with his eyes until you disappeared up the stairs and the light went out. His mind was totally against it, but his gut was telling him to follow you, he didn't know why. But he did. As soon as he heard your footsteps close to your bedroom's door, he ran on tiptoe, making no noise, and stopped at the top of the stairs. He listened. Jackson was in the room with you.

"What do you want to ask?" Your voice reached his ears. "It can wait till tomorrow, babe, don't worry." Jackon responded.

In the dark, Jungkook got close to the door and crouched against the wall - so if any of you decided to leave the room out of nowhere, you wouldn't see him there, only if you turned on the corridor light, which you normally don't  do. "Spill it, Jackson." You opened a jar of fancy eye cream, to try to combat the huge dark circles that were installed on your face.

Jackson leaned against the dresser beside you, with his hands in his sweatpants pockets, and said without looking at you.

"I've been thinking about it for some days, I figured you would tell me at some point but you didn't. And after what just happened I'm even more curious about it. How did you meet Jungkook? Where is he from? And why did you decide to adopt him?" You sighed, knowing that this matter would eventually come up. Outside, Jungkook gulped.

"He's a rescue case. I didn't work directly with the legal process, it was a prosecutor friend of mine who indicted his former owners. When he was left without an owner and nowhere to go I decided to help, and that's it. There is no explanation for why I wanted him, or vice versa. Jungkook is just special to me."

You calmly spoke.

"His former owner was arrested?"

"Yeah. For money laundering and conspiracy." Jungkook felt a shiver down his spine. He knew you were going to lie now, or at least not answer, because it's not just his secret, it's yours too. And for some reason he felt like you had to lie to your boyfriend because of him. But technically this last part isn't a lie, his former owner really got arrested for money laundering and conspiracy, it's just that there were many more accusations against him besides these, like exploitation of hybrids, homicide, human trafficking and prostitution, among others, but that part Jackson doesn't need to know.

Jackson hesitated.

"Does Jungkook have a history of abuse?" Jackson said, and Jungkook couldn't define by his tone what he was thinking, it was too flat.

You, on the other hand, were feeling in court, being questioned by lawyer Jackson Wang. He already had a point of view, he just wanted to make you confirm. But you are smart too.

"Why are you asking this?" You crossed your arms.

"He was aggressive down stairs, in the living room, not even ten minutes ago. I know that hybrids with difficult pasts can be violent." He responded.

"That's not what I asked. Why are you, Jackson, asking that? What does it matter to you?" You were incisive. A moment of silence passed.

"I'm worried, I guess. You are living with him now. Hybrids can be dangerous." Part of you understand, a little bigger part got pissed.

"I've been surrounded by hybrids since I was born. I literally work with them every day, both in my stores, both in my legal area. Because my expertise is in the rights and protection of hybrids in case you forgot, Jackson. I know what I am doing." Each word came firmly out of your mouth. "Besides, Jungkook is my friend, you can't just assume he is dangerous."

"He almost bit me! Growled at me!" He snapped, and it longer felt like a conversation, but an argument.

"Jackson what would happen if you wake me up one hour sooner than I planned to wake up?" You put your hand on your hips. "You would complain." He replied as if your question had nothing to do with the matter.

You made a sign with your hands as if the answer was obvious.

"Exactly. And that's what he did. The only difference is that he can growl, besides talk, to express his discontentment, and we can't. End of story."

Jackson pinched his nose, clear sign that he knows you got a point. But it wasn't done yet.

"I understood that part, and I'm sorry. Even so, I'm worried. Because you know him and trust him, but I don't. How can I know that when you are alone it will not hurt you?"

In the dark, Jungkook bit his lip, feeling terrible, because he already did hurt you.

You were feeling worked up, more than you should. You walked past him, stomping.

"I don't want to talk about it. We know... You know very well, that no one needs a traumatic past to be violent. You see bad people with perfect lives everyday on your job." You fumed, and when he tried to respond you spoked above him. "The past of a free hybrid belongs to the one who abused them and not to them. All the bad things were done by other people, and judging them for these things is prejudiced. And I will not tolerate you being prejudiced, Jackson."

At that point you were crying. At the beginning of the conversation, you were trying to be rational and calculate what to say so as not to miss out on anything you shouldn't, to avoid contradicting yourself, to avoid the conversation. But something from then on was a trigger for you. Jackson was without reaction for a moment. Jungkook had to restrain himself from entering the room to comfort you, all his instincts telling him to do so.

"Y/N..." Jackson tried.

"No. Listen." You took a deep breath. "I understand your worry. My mom probably will say the same thing when she meets him, and she is one of the people who taught me these things I just said... But that's the thing, Jackson: you don't need to know about the traumas and hurts, and terrible things that happened with Jungkook - or anyone else - to know him. You can know him for who he is today. I'm living with him for about a week and I already know he is a incredible smart boy, absolutely good in almost everything he does, and that he is afraid of the microwave, and he loves sweet things, especially if he can mix everything up in a misshapen sugar mass that no one else would eat, and the key of his heart is a little bit of attention because... Because he is content with so little. No matter the crumb of love you give him, he will be happy... And that's why I wanted to give him everything... The whole world..."

You were pouting, and tears were running down your cheeks, and your voice was so small. You were so small right now. Jackson reached you and pulled you to a tight hug. You hold him too, sobbing lightly.

In the corridor Jungkook got on his feet and wiped his own tears. He needed to process everything he heard. All the things you said about hybrids and about him, and the fact that you cried because of him. He didn't know what it was, but a feeling so warm on his chest promised that it would be hard to get to sleep again that night, thinking about these things and you. It was really horrible not to be able to enter the room so that he could hug you, and answer everything you said with his feelings - even if he couldn't explain everything, just because he can't name everything. He silently walked down the corridor to the stairs, heading for his room.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry. I don't even know why I'm crying... " You whined, weeping your nose with a chuckle. "I'll be all puffy tomorrow morning and the fault is all yours." Jackson laughed, pushing your hair away from your wet face.

"I'm sorry. Really, I didn't intend to be a jerk or anything. But I think I needed this conversation, I always learn a lot from you... And I think you needed this conversation too, you needed to put some things out, otherwise you wouldn't have cried." He charmly smiled. "You must be right. But seriously...!" You slapped his forearm. "I would be less pissed if you had a silly jealous tantrum or something like that. It would be easier to solve, just ignore it."

"Yah! Why would I be jealous of you? I know the day you find I guy more amazing than me you will let me know right away. Broke up with me by massege or something like this." "Shut up." You slapped him again. "You didn't turn off the flower shop's alarm when you arrived, right?"

"No." He shook his head.

You smiled wildly.

"So take off your pants and spoon-sleep with me." _________________________________________________________________________________ Then all of Jungkook's documents arrived in the mail, including an adoption request certificate - which was false, made by some of his contacts in the organization - a definitive guardianship certificate that specifies you as his legal guardian and not as owner - a small advance in the law - and that gives him some freedom that most hybrids don't have, like walking around by himself, and at last but not least, his hybrid id.

With all this in hand you finally got to make Jungkook's first appointment with a psychologist. Together you both researched some names of professionals in the field, including the three that the doctor gave you the other day, and some others indicated by friends of yours. One way or another you would have to leave the city to go to the appointments, since your city is small and you didn't find anyone in the region, so one of the criteria for choosing was distance. Another, of course, was the professional background and branch of psychology, and that part was more with you. On the other hand, Jungkook literally chose the cover of the book. When he didn't like the person's face they were automatically excluded from the list.

"And if I get there and right away I don't like their smell... I'm leaving." He declared. "Of course. You must be comfortable." You agreed. "What do you think about this one? He is young but the curriculum is impressive... And he has a support therapy group with hybrids, which is really cool."

Jungkook took your notebook to put on his own lap to get a closer look. You started your research hours earlier, in your office, but after a long time sitting in chairs that left you both with a sore ass, a break to eat pizza and put on pajamas, you were still trying to choose someone, but now under the covers in your bed with the TV on. The website that was open was a clinic specializing in hybrids, and on the page that Jungkook was looking at had a picture of a young man with a bright smile.

"Dr. Jung Hoseok..."  He mumbled to himself.

"He looks nice right? There's some patient testimonials..." You were about to ask him if he wanted to read it but he was faster.

"I want him."Jungkook looked at you with determined eyes. "I like him. Is the first one we see that is truly smiling."

He was planning to choose a woman, because he thought he would be more comfortable than with a man, but this one looked perfect in a way that no one else has looked until now.

"Ok, then. I'm calling them tomorrow morning." You smiled at him. ___________________________________________________________________________ Much to the disappointment of Jungkook and yours too, Dr. Jung's schedule was packed with lecturers and courses, so he wouldn't be able to start therapy immediately as you both imagined, leaving the first meeting with him for the following month only.

So this is it ... A whole month of a lot of rain, in which you were very busy with your boyfriend and your job, without being able to do therapy, without leaving home most days. Without realizing it, Jungkook was building up a terrible bad mood. At first you didn't even notice, because Jungkook is quiet most of the time, and you were too focused on difficult texts full of legal terms that fry your brain. But one morning, the first in weeks when the sky was blue and you had no work to do... The first morning that you slept till late and woke up with a smile on your puffy face, opened the bedroom curtain as a Disney princess would, and hopped down the stairs in a good perfect mood ... That morning you noticed.

"Gooood morning!" You literally sang, passing by Jungkook, who was eating his cereal, standing by the counter. He didn't respond, and you interpreted as his sleep non talking state. "I'm in the mood for eggs and bacon today... maybe a sandwich too. Do you want it? My god I can eat the whole world today..." "No. I could have made myself a sandwich if I wanted to."

You raised your eyebrows, a little surprised, taking milk, eggs, cheese, onion, tomatoes and mayo from the fridge. A second passed before Jungkook added in a grumpy voice:

"Thank you."

On a frying pan you put some butter to melt and brown the bread, and in another one you broke three eggs leaving room for some slices of bacon. At the delicious sound of those ingredients popping on the fire, you started cutting a tomato, and decided to add lettuce and left over chicken from the night before on your sandwich. The kitchen's air was filled with the pleasant smell.

"Are you sure you don't wan't not even the eggs and bacon?" You asked again, turning said bacon so that the two sides would be equally delicious. As a precaution you browned two more slices of bread.

"You don't have to bother." Jungkook murmured, without taking his eyes off the dull cereal bowl in front of him, but still his nose worked to identify the smells in the air. You put a slice of mozzarella cheese and a cheddar cheese on top of the hot bread slices, and immediately the cheese started to melt beautifully. In the pan that no longer were the bread, you put some onion to caramelize.

"No bother. Today is a perfect day, and it’s been a while since I’ve prepared breakfast for you, or that we ate just the two of us..." You gladly spread the shredded chicken over the cheese, and then the mayonnaise over the chicken...

Behind you, Jungkook sighed, and you could hear his lazy steps towards you. Over your shoulder he placed the empty bowl in the sink. He looked at what you were doing and his mouth watered.

"I want mine with ketchup, too." He declared with a frown.

"Get it from the fridge for me, then." You simply said. He obeyed. With one hand you put the ketchup on his sandwich - which you were already making because you knew he would want it, and if he didn't want it you would eat it yourself - and with the other you put the fire out of the pan with eggs and bacon. "Do you want the eggs and bacon in or out of the sandwich?"

In."

You were inspired, so even the olive on a stick on top of the huge sandwich you put. A beautiful sandwich.

"Sit." You happily pulled a chair for yourself. The first bite was heaven for you, making you moan as you chew slowly with eyes closed. You sighed deeply. "Working from home but not getting a decent breakfast like that every day sucks."

No response. Jungkook was eating  with pleasure - as always - but still didn't seem ready to talk. You looked him up and down. You were proud to see that after a month of living with you, he now had the most rosy cheeks and healthiest skin, and clearly gained considerable weight, thanks to the complete and balanced diet that you guaranteed he had. But he wasn't supposed to be in a bad mood. He was supposed to be happy. When was the last time he brushed his hair?

"What are your plans for today?" As if you want nothing, you asked.

"Have any." He didn't even look at you to speak, instead he got up and opened the fridge. "Want juice?"

Okay, you think he's not upset with you.

"Sure." You waited for him to sit back in front of you. "I have to visit some of my stores today, since I've been so busy and haven't had time to check them out in the past two weeks. But I don't even call it work, because it's going to be fast, and I personally love to see how business is going... Do you want to go with me?"

For the first time this morning, he looked at you with interest. Still, it was not the enthusiasm you were expecting, nor an answer, so you continued.

"We can buy useless things, eat ice cream and go to the park... And this time really enjoy it. The weather forecast guarantees that it will be sunny all day." You expectantly  rested your chin  on the palm of the hand.

Looking at you shining eyes, Jungkook nodded with a small smile. You almost jumped from your chair.

"Remember we tried to play frisbee, and I kind of found out that my little cute arms weren't made for that?"

He shook his head with a mocking smirk.

"If it doesn't go far enough to run after it, it's no fun."

"YEAH... Then it started raining and we came home, and we never talked about it again ... "You put your hands together." It turns out that I saw something on the internet that I thought was incredible and I bought it, and we can try it today."

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously.

"This." You showed him your phone.

A wild smile spread on his face and he reclined in the chair. He looked at you one more time and tossed his chin slightly, a quirk that you know by now that means  he is accepting a challenge.

"I'm washing the dishes, and then I'll get ready." He stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and swallowed the juice in one gulp, rising from the table with determination. ________________________________________________________________ You own a very wide variety of store types, your family practically founded the city generations ago, so what they didn’t open, they invested for someone to open it, it was how you all got rich, and that’s why so many places have your last name on the signboard, and half of them really are yours. The two of you went through your bookstore and music store, the bakery and the karaoke bar... Most of these places Jungkook didn't know yet, and it was interesting to see how you behave with the people that work to you.

It is different from how you act with him, gentle and bright all the time, smooth and carefree, just taking care of him with little things here and there. It is also different from how you act with Taehyung and Jimin, you are relaxed and fun with them, even in the office, when you the lynx are working, you are clearly best friends, and act together as an unbeatable team. It is not as if you stop having all these adjectives or change your personality, but that you put on a layer of boss to act in the presence of your employees. Your usual sweet tone of speech was accompanied by firmness, and even though you were friendly, calling everyone by name, you did not reach out to talk too much to anyone - focusing only on checking if everything was in compliance and solving what needed to be resolved.

Jungkook found it interesting, because it reminded you a lot of how you acted the day you met. You were kind enough for him to trust you, and you were also strong for him to trust you.

And what Taehyung said earlier was true, all of your stores had hybrid employees, at least one. Jungkook was already used to one of the florists in your flower shop being a fox girl - which turns all red and hides each time he appears -, but it was nice to see others like him in other places. Every one of them seemed so happy to see you. Maybe they also smell the truth on you.

"My first part-time job was in the flower shop, I was sixteen. I bought it from my aunt and then it was my first store too. That's why I like living there... It's an important place for me." You told him, turning off the engine of the SUV. You were in the park parking lot, ready to have burgers and fries for lunch - a little treat for yourself after a month without a day off. The plan was a picnic but you forgot the towel or bringing good food, so eating in the car was plan B.

"This is really cool. If you only worked at the store, how did you buy it? With what money?" Jungkook was a lot more talkative now. Leaving the house for a while was what he needed, he must be feeling trapped.

"I found an investor. In other words, I convinced my grandmother to give me the money." You laughed. "It was a little difficult because I was underage yet..."

"Did you buy your first store at sixteen?"

You simply nod. Jungkook was shocked. At sixteen his life was very different from yours, this is nothing new, but it is still strange to think of the chasm between you two...

"At sixteen I was already in clandestine fights for two years." He said, and it was as if one of the million pieces of weight he feels on his chest was gone. It didn't seem much compared to what it was fully, but it was relieving.

On the other hand, you felt your heart break. You didn't know what to say. So many times you told him not to press himself to tell you anything, to talk when he feels ready... so you didn't expect it to be now... that way. Perhaps you were not prepared. But fuck it, you're not the one to be ready. It's him.

Maybe because of the face you made, or how you just stopped eating to look at him in an almost comic way, or because of your eyes filling with tears he added.

"I still don't want to talk about it... I didn't even want to... I don't know why it slipped out. It's just that listening to you talking about your past is so..." He seemed lost in words, not knowing how to organize what to say. "I see you so bright! I wanted to be bright too... I've been thinking about it a lot... About having a job. And... And..."

He looked frustrated. You still didn't know what to say, or if you should say something, so you just held Jungkook's greasy hand from eating fries with your greasy hand from eating fries.

"I want to be the owner of my future." He concluded, remembering what you said the other night.

"A jog is a good first step, JK. I'm proud of you. You have all my support, I can give you a job or help you get one... wherever you want." You intertwined your fingers with his.

He let out a long breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. He was shaking, and he knew you were feeling it in the hand you were holding, if you couldn't see it too.

"I also have another favor to ask." His voice was shaky, but his eyes didn't leave yours, just like when he asked to be with you.

"Anything." You whispered, mouth dry.

Something inside you told you that this was the purest truth about your relationship with Jungkook. That you would definitely do anything for him. You also felt that it should terrify you, just it didn't.

Jungkook took his old wallet out of his pocket and opened it for you to look inside. The photo of two hybrid boys smiling, hugging each other, made you smile too.

"You are the small one." You pointed.

Jungkook nodded.

"The other one is my hyung. We live together on a breeding farm. I think there was a lab too, but I never went there, I don't remember... When I was robbed and sold for the fights he went too, and a few years later we were separated... Do you think you can find him?"

Jungkook didn't want false hopes. He knows better than anyone what life is like for a fighting hybrid, how it ends. But if he survived that long, then his hyung can too, and if anyone can save him, it is you. He just wanted to hear that you're going to try... Even if you only discover the worst of the possibilities... Even if you don't discover anything. Among all the terrible things in Jungkook's head, this is the one that most takes away his sleep, the one that most makes him feel guilty.

"What is his name, breed, age...? Any information you have about him." You were serious, every gear in your brain working.

"Namjoon. He was some type of wolf... Older than me, I don't remember how much." Jungkook's eyebrows came together and he bit his lip, trying to remember anything else that might help. "He loves to read... He is a good hyung... I don't know...!" "Shhh. It's ok." You took his face in your free hand. "You don't need to freak out now, if you remember something later just tell me. With his name, age and breed I can ask my organization friends for help."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For some reason the smell of the food was making him nauseous... Or it was just his anxiety messing with him. He just didn't want to eat anymore. Suddenly the car was too small and getting smaller for the second, and he couldn't breath. His body started to shake violently, and his lungs were hurting. He let go of your hand and opened the door to get out. You followed him close. Instead of going down your door and having to go around the car, you jumped into the passenger seat and got off right behind Jungkook, who was already bent over with his head between his knees. He was having an anxiety attack. You crouched in front of him and rubbed his back softly.

"Breathe with me, JK, love. Inhale for four seconds... Hold for two seconds... Release for six..." You've been there before, and breathing has always helped you more than most things, not only to stabilize your body, but also to help you focus. "Right... Again."

You breathed with him, still keeping your hand comforting on his back, but not too close to suffocate him. "You don't need to answer out loud, ok? I need you to find five things around us that you can see. Can you do this for me?"

He barely nodded, but you saw he understood. He was breathing like you told him to, opened  his watering eyes and looked around. The trees. The car wheel beside him. The lake shining far away. His shoes. Your shoes.

"Now find four things you can hear." You told him after a while. The birds. Kids laughing somewhere. The radio inside the car. Your calm breathing. "You are doing great, babe. Find three things you can smell." Dirt. Freshly cut grass. You.

"At last... Two things you can touch." You took the opportunity to pet his head. The car. You.

He was calmer, his body collapsed and he ended up sitting on the ground with his face in his hands. You got up, and he didn't see where you went, but you weren't gone for long.

"Here, something to taste." You handed him a bottle of sparkling water. "I don't know if you like it, but it's good for the stomach."

He drank the bottle all at once, and made a face at the end. He doesn't like it.

"Thank you, Y/N. You are always taking care of me. Sorry." He took your hand and intertwined your fingers together.

"Silly, puppy." You smiled at him, and he could swear it is the prettiest thing ever. "You can alway take care of me too."

He wanted to look at you for a while, to be silent for a while. Think only of how sweet and beautiful you are, instead of the bad things. But you got up again, not thinking what he was thinking.

"Can you get up?" You offered help.

He accepted.

"I can do a lot of things besides getting up. I'm ready to run." He smiled wildly.

"Are you sure?" You took his face in both your hands, the color was coming back to his cute cheeks, but you were still worried. He nodded, covering one of your hands with his. You sighed. "Ok then." _______________________________________________________________ You weren't trying so hard, but you got tired just to see how fast Jungkook runs, and after an hour, you can't believe the boy's fitness. Too much stamina, Christ. As he came back to you with the frisbee in hand, at high speed, the wind in his hair made the sweaty bangs fly back. He was stunning. Wild smile and excitement making him look like a child at the same time he looked like every girl's dream boyfriend.

"Throw, another one, Y/N." He sang, already running away. You lifted the cannon frisbee launcher and opened fire. Looking up, Jungkook calculated the route of the flying thing and speeded up to catch it. Since you started playing he hasn't lost one. He only almost ran over a few unsuspecting pedestrians, but nobody got hurt. From meters away, you could hear him jumping up and down before he started running towards you once more. You definitely need to find some physical activity for this child to stay entertained and happy.

"Again!"

______________________________________________________

Let me know what you think about it! And tell if you want to be add to the TAG LIST :)

If you aready asked to be on tag list but you aren’t tell me too.

@stayunderthelights  @deolly  @panconte​ @serendipityoreuphoria​ @madygswich @namjoonies-dimple @givebuckysomelove @imluckybitches @hoseokslefteyebrow  @yzkyzkuniverse @flaring-vibes @justpeachyjoon @narcissism-iskey​ @angeltothecore​ @tiberiaxs @minikolima @chaoticbabigrl

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 14

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns how to be a person, and does what he can to protect the children (and hurting adults) who came after him in a way he had never been protected.

Content warnings: references to Caleb's backstory but it's pretty mild

Chapter summary: The Mighty Nein have their beach episode, Essek wears a sunhat, Luc learns a new word that isn't a swear, and Caleb has a good day.

Chapter notes: This chapter is pure fluff, with a little melancholy that is well-resolved. Enjoy it while it lasts. Chapter title is from Joy by Sleeping At Last.

****

Chapter 14: It is the calm water in the middle of an anxious sea

Caleb sent a quick message to Nico while Jester ferried the Nein into the street. “Hallo, Nico. Remember my home is open to you if you need anything. Food, shelter. Protection. Anything. Password: Wilkommen. Take care, please.”

Nico didn’t reply. He never did. But Caleb breathed, and he was okay. Essek, disguised as another half-elf, a redhead this time, squeezed his hand.

“Are you all right?”

“Ja. We know he’s alive. That helps.”

“Good.” Essek opened his pink parasol as they stepped into the sun, shielding them both. “Beauregard warned me that redheads burn in the sun more easily than most humans.”

Caleb chuckled, surprising himself a little bit. “Ja, Jester packed a lotion to help with that. I may need help rubbing it in.”

Essek raised an eyebrow. “I believe I can help with that.”

“Hold that thought.” Caleb needed to let Felix know Nico was still alive, before he got distracted. “Hallo, Felix. My cleric friends’ gods have confirmed Nico is alive and has found water recently. Keep talking to him.”

Felix’s response was swift. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do if… thank you. Uh, how is Nicodranas? I’ve never been.”

Caleb found himself smiling. “Hot and sunny. Not ideal for someone of my complexion, but we have sun protection. My friends are dragging me to the beach.”

A laugh came through the link, quiet and stiff, as if unpracticed. “My parents told me stories about your disagreements with the sun, even here. So, uh, be safe. And have fun with your special Aeor friend.”

Caleb found himself burning another spell, just because he was not about to let this child have the final word. At least, not that final word. “Very funny, Felix. My colleague and I will likely stay in the shade. The sun does not agree with him, either. Spell progress?” Felix had indicated he was copying out Fly from a scroll Astrid had supplied on Caleb’s behalf. Felix was an Evocation specialist, so he had been struggling a bit. Caleb still had hopes of converting him to Transmutation entirely, and teaching him Fly would be a good step, and safer to experiment with than the more-challenging Polymorph without supervision. It was quite advanced for him, however.

“Fine, I will let you change the subject. I have the spell copied, but the somatic element is complicated. I may need help.”

And then Caleb burned one more spell. “I will visit in the next few days and we will work it out together. Remember to take breaks. See you soon.”

“Ja, see you soon.”

“I like that kid,” said Beauregard.

The group linked up with the Brenattos deeper into the city and then worked their way to the beach. Other families were out on the sand, so they wandered a little further afield until they found the same spot the Nein had visited when they had first visited Nicodranas together.

Essek, with Jester’s help, set up the beach umbrella in a shaded area further from the water. Everybody arranged their bags there, leaving enough room for Essek to sit comfortably, along with one or two others. Towels were laid out to keep the worst of the sand out of everyone’s asses, but mainly Essek’s. By now, his disguise was wearing off. The clothes he wore underneath, however, covered most of his skin, alongside the enormous sunhat Caduceus had brought from the Grove. So he didn’t bother re-casting.

Essek settled himself under the umbrella, pulling his spellbook from the pocket dimension. The others disrobed to varying degrees; most of the ladies were straight-up naked, aside from Veth who wore a thin shift dress that would not be too weighed down if she chose to get in the water. The group passed around two glass bottles of a sun lotion developed by Yeza, slapping it onto each other. Caleb slapped Fjord’s pec, as had become customary. Fjord squawked, as was tradition.

Soon enough, the Nein, plus Luc and Yeza, barrelled toward the shoreline. Caleb settled beside Essek, passing him the lotion bottle.

“If you would?”

Essek slipped the spellbook back into its dimension and uncorked the bottle. “Take off your shirt.”

Caleb threw his shirt aside and sat with his back to Essek. He had waited until the others left. Neither Caleb nor Essek were particularly touchy-feely around other people, aside from a few casual things like fixing each other’s hair or leaning against each other. It was less uncomfortable to do so when there was some physical distance from others, even if they were still in view.

This thing between them still felt fragile sometimes. Aeor had strengthened their bond, but they’d had to do a lot of unlearning along the way. A lot of healing. Caleb had disintegrated the one chance he’d had to see his parents alive again. He’d given up the book of letters to bury them between their graves. Essek had begun to peel away years of conditioning to be selfish in his pursuits, of pulling away from people to stay safe, of understanding his worth through a purely transactional lens. Honestly, Caleb was working on unlearning those things himself.

The lotion was a cold streak from one shoulder blade to the other. Essek’s hands were delicate and careful as always, working the lotion into his skin with small, slow circles.

Essek did not touch very many people. Every touch he gave Caleb felt precious. At this point, Caleb was fairly certain he had been conditioned to melt at even the slightest point of contact between them.

Essek kissed his shoulder, ignoring Jester’s wolf-whistle in the distance. “I missed your shoulder freckles.”

“You see them most nights, Essek.”

“It’s different in the light. I can see colours.” Essek’s fingers ghosted the skin, drawing lines between freckles Caleb couldn’t see at this angle. His other hand continued to work the sun lotion into Caleb’s back. Caleb closed his eyes, listening to the soft roars and hisses of waves, the shouts of his friends, their splashes in the water. This was comfortable in a way Caleb still struggled to accept that he deserved. But he was trying. And sometimes he succeeded. Today was better than most.

Essek took his right arm and massaged lotion into the skin, working tension out of Caleb’s muscles and tendons and joints as he went. Heat pooled in Caleb’s gut, and if they had been alone, he would have pushed Essek onto his back and kissed him senseless. Among other things. Instead, he let Essek work, sagging back against him. Essek spent some extra time on Caleb’s wrist, gently guiding him through stretches to stave off a repetitive strain injury from casting. Then he moved to Caleb’s left arm, and repeated the process.

Through the haze of calm, Caleb was dimly aware this was a huge step for Essek. Taking care of each other’s hair, leaning against each other, passing things to each other, taking charge when Caleb was in a bad way… these were all forms of affection he had grown comfortable with in front of the Nein. This was more intimate than Essek usually allowed with an audience, however distant they were at the moment. Caleb was proud of him. He knew it wasn’t easy to be exposed like this. To wear your heart on your sleeve even among people you trusted. How hard it was to trust in the first place.

“You’re cuddly today,” Caleb said quietly as Essek carefully swept his changed, now singular, braid aside to work the lotion into the back of his neck. “I like it.”

Essek rested his forehead on the back of Caleb’s head. “I suppose I am.”

“What brought this on? I would like to repeat it.”

Essek hummed thoughtfully, pulling back. Caleb turned to watch him gaze out at the sea, dissecting his own thoughts. “You are… happier today. I missed it.”

Caleb had become aware during their time together that Essek, while attracted to Caleb in general, was especially enticed by two specific things: Caleb’s mind and his happiness. It was… sweet. Caleb hadn’t experienced that in a relationship before. That hadn’t been Astrid and Wulf’s fault, or even his. They hadn’t had the freedom to be like that. It still took Caleb unawares that he had this with Essek sometimes. A partner so invested in his happiness that it was a literal turn-on for him, essentially a requirement for his sexual interest. And, most days now, Caleb was happy frequently enough that it was practical. And healthier than anything he had experienced in a relationship before.

Essek also looked adorable in his huge sunhat and lightweight poncho that kept most of him safe from the sun’s rays. And a pair of sunglasses Jester had painted for him, pushed down his nose so he could look at Caleb better while they were in the shade together.

Caleb squeezed his knee. “We should come back here tonight. Have you swum in the ocean before?”

“No. Have you?” Essek adjusted his glasses so he could look at their friends playing in the water. Fjord and the clerics were having a magic water fight. Veth and Yeza walked along the shoreline, feet in the water, swinging Luc between them. Veth looked at home there; watching her willingly touch the water for the pure joy of it hurt Caleb’s heart in the best way. The lesbians had wandered off somewhere and probably wouldn’t be back for a bit. Kingsley was working on a sandcastle he had started with Luc, before the boy had been distracted.

“Ja. The first time we came here. You’ll like it, I think.” The vastness of the ocean, the enveloping nature of it… Caleb could remember how much it had felt like looking into the beacon, and how much of a comfort that had been. “Can you swim?”

“I have been taught, yes.” Essek didn’t sound pleased about it. Most of his upbringing had been utilitarian, shaping him in the service of Den Thelyss.

“Just think. You and me. Alone with the moon and the endless expanse of ocean. It feels like the embrace of possibility, if you let it.” Caleb knew that, of all people, Essek would understand.

Essek softened. “That does sound wonderful. Shall we go after dinner?”

“Ja. I will cast the tower afterwards. I want you all to myself.”

It was only because Caleb knew Essek so well that he could pick out the rise of colour in his cheeks. “The feeling is mutual. Go, spend time with our friends. Do not burn.”

Caleb smiled, sliding his pants off and setting them aside. He left his smallclothes on this time, and worked the lotion into the flesh of his legs and feet. Essek cleared his throat and returned his attention to his spellbook. If they had been alone right now…

Caleb pushed the thought away. In a few hours, they would be alone. For now, he had prepared Telekinesis for today and he knew a few friends who would love to be thrown around in the water for a while.

Luc rushed over to Caleb as soon as approached the shoreline. Caleb squished the wet sand between his toes and watched the boy run, managing to catch him when he launched himself at Caleb’s middle.

“Uncle Caleb! Mum says you know a really cool spell that can throw people! Throw me!”

Caleb looked over to Veth and Yeza. Veth gave an enthusiastic thumbs up while Yeza facepalmed, but did nothing to stop it.

“Okay.” Caleb set Luc down. “This spell is called Telekinesis.”

Luc’s eyes glazed over a bit. “Tele…”

“Repeat after me: Tele.”

“Tele.”

“-kin.”

“-kin.”

“-esis.”

“-esis.”

“Telekinesis.”

“Telekinesis.”

“There you go.” Caleb moved his hand, muttering the incantation. “Ready?”

“Yes!”

Caleb reached out the magic and lifted Luc in the air with the spell. “All right?”

Luc kicked his legs about, staring all around. “This is so cool!”

“Ja, so cool.”

“Throw me!”

Caleb looked to Veth and Yeza. “I’ll send him near the others.” He raised his voice so Fjord, Jester and Caduceus would hear. “Incoming!” And he pelted Luc into the water, aiming him in the central point between the three of them. Luc soared through the air, landing with a splash. Caleb pulled back the force a bit so Luc wouldn’t fall too hard. Luc still had the ring of water walking on, but he had an intuitive grasp of its use and had wanted to be thrown in. But it did mean that he was able to pop right up to the surface without issue, jumping up and down on top of the water with glee.

“Oh! Oh!” Jester yelled. “Me next!”

Caleb plucked her from the water with his magic, and managed not to drop her when he remembered she was naked. He threw her across the water, to a point to his right that appeared to be a similar depth from whence she had come.

The spell lasted ten minutes. And those ten minutes were well-used, pelting his friends into the sea. Beau and Yasha returned in time to participate, which was good. Beauregard in particular had always been fond of this.

As the spell faded, Caleb waded into the water and let it take his weight, floating on his back. He gazed up at the blue sky, squinting a bit. The protection amulet lay there, occasionally bobbing away from his chest when he slipped under a tiny bit. He had gotten back into the habit of wearing it since the Vergesson heist, and all that had happened in Eiselcross and beyond. The thing didn’t bother him as much as it used to. Essek still wore his as well. Even if Caleb hadn’t thought it prudent to wear the amulet to shield himself from the Assembly’s prying eyes, even if they would not move openly against him, he would do it for Essek’s sake. It was easier to do these things for other people.

“Hey, Caleb.” The voice was a little muffled as Caleb’s ears were underwater, but he knew Fjord’s voice.

He carefully righted himself and began to tread water, a little clumsily but more easily than he had the first time. “Hallo, Fjord. Thank you for not scaring the shit out of me this time.”

Fjord chuckled; as usual, he had no trouble staying afloat. “Oh, I thought about it. I need to get you back for slapping my tit.”

“I will live in fear until you have found your revenge.”

“As you should,” Fjord said haughtily. “Oh, and Jester keeps demanding I invite you onto our ship. Unrelated to the impending revenge, of course. I have no stake in this at all.”

“Of course.” Caleb enjoyed Fjord’s sarcasm; he could pivot from sincerity to bullshit quicker than almost anyone he knew.

And, in true Fjord fashion, he pivoted again, dropping right back into sincerity. “In seriousness, though… if you ever need a break from civilisation, there’s always room for you. And Essek. Together or separately.”

“I appreciate that,” Caleb replied. “Knowing our luck, I will choose the perfect time for Uk’otoa to attack.” He did not clarify whether this would be good or bad luck, as he himself was uncertain.

“An extra hand wouldn’t go astray. You have saved my life many times on the sea.”

Fjord had almost been lost forever, killed and transported away. That night had been the perfect example of why Caleb never went a day without preparing Counterspell. Losing him would have been unbearable, especially after Molly.

Fjord’s hand found his shoulder. “Hey, I’m right here.”

“Ja, you are.” Caleb shook off his melancholy. And remembered why he had found Fjord so attractive from day one: whatever shit Fjord had going on, he was always ready to reach out and steady someone else. That, and the fact he had a nice face and an incredible amount of skill both in combat and in conversation. “I’m sure there will be time for sailing. Maybe in a few weeks, depending on how chaotic Rexxentrum becomes. I will try to drag Essek along, if he’s not too busy elsewhere.”

“Sailing the Lucidian Ocean with a pirate crew is an unlikely place to find a drow fugitive,” said Fjord.

“Ha! Indeed.” And, because they were already talking about Essek, Caleb broached a similar subject. “By the way, Essek and I plan to come back here after dinner so he can swim more comfortably. We will not be back until morning; I have the tower prepared. If you could, ah, keep the others distracted so we can slip away without too much innuendo, I would appreciate it.”

“I promise to try.” Fjord glanced fondly towards Jester. “She’s observant and has the best-worst timing.”

“That she does.” One of the wonderful things about her, but Caleb would prefer to shield Essek from that tonight. Essek had become more comfortable with the Nein’s teasing, but he was still a little shy, especially about his relationship with Caleb.

“We’ll make sure you get your date, either way.” Fjord patted Caleb’s shoulder and submerged himself, darting like a bullet towards the clerics. Then, he emerged from the water with a huge wave behind him, but Caduceus had seen him coming and retaliated with one of his own.

Caleb watched the water-fight for a bit before he retreated to the beach umbrella, throwing himself onto the towel beside Essek and closing his eyes for a nap.

***

They stayed out until sunset began to approach. Knowing the Zhelezo would soon close the gates, the group packed up, dressed and headed back to the Chateau. Essek, disguise refreshed, used Prestidigitation as they walked to clear the sand off everyone.

After dinner, Beauregard asked Caleb to send her and Yasha back to Rexxentrum. Caleb drew them a circle in Jester’s old room, sending them on their way while Essek watched him work. There was a quirk to his lips that Caleb now knew meant he was looking disrespectfully.

Then, with the lesbians gone, it was just the two of them. Caleb pocketed the rest of his chalk, and held a hand out to Essek. “We could teleport from here.”

“We could.” Essek glanced at the door behind him. “That may worry our friends.”

“I’ll message Fjord. Let him spill the beans in a few minutes when Jester comes looking for us.” Caleb pulled out his wire. “Hallo, Fjord? Essek and I are about to teleport to the beach. Could you tell them where we’re going when they ask?”

“Will do. Have a good night. You deserve it.”

Caleb tucked his wire away. “We’re good. Let’s go.”

Essek grabbed his hand, though Caleb was now fully aware that physical contact was not a requirement for teleportation. “Allow me.” He muttered a word and Jester’s bedroom fell away. The air and light rushed away, before it all came back in a rush. Caleb took a deep breath.

They had landed on sandy grass, a few paces from the beach itself. The two of them took off their shoes and Essek’s poncho and hat, stashing them in Caleb’s amber. Essek gazed out at the waves while Caleb worked the ritual. A ritual he had originally created as part of his plan to save his parents. Now he used it to stash his partner’s shoes so they could walk on the beach together. That felt like growth. Like allowing himself to be happy. Ultimately, he knew that was far more respectful of his mother and father’s memory than trying to break time to bring them back, putting his own life at risk. Even if he was damn sure it would’ve worked. If he hadn’t collapsed into dust at the end of it all. Part of him still felt like that would have been a worthy price to pay… but he knew they wouldn’t see it that way. Most of him understood that. All they had ever wanted was for their son to be happy. They would have wanted him to live, and live a good life.

Caleb sat there after the amber had claimed their things, staring into the stone. Essek waited patiently, not rushing or peppering him with questions. He knew the meaning of the vault, and had enough context to Caleb’s shit to suspect where his mind had gone. Even if he couldn’t read Caleb’s thoughts.

He would try to live a good life, like his mother and father had always wanted. It was the right thing to do. For them, and for himself. He deserved good things. Caleb just had to keep reminding himself, possibly forever. And the joy of surrounding himself with people who loved him was that they would remind him if he couldn’t.

The best way to honour Leofric and Una Ermendrud was to be happy, kind, and do good for himself and others. Even if he still felt like a piece of shit most days, he would keep trying.

Caleb scooped up the amber and settled the chain around his neck. Essek held out a hand, which he accepted, letting the drow leverage the entirety of his slight weight to pull Caleb to his feet.

Hand-in-hand, they stepped onto the sand. Let their toes sink in, wiggling with the joy of that simple feeling of being enveloped.

The two moons above gave Caleb just enough light to see his surroundings, reflecting off the sea like a mirror. Essek would have no trouble seeing, and he was safe from the discomfort from the sun. And the darkness was a safe enough disguise that he was not forced to concentrate on a spell to avoid detection. They were about as safe as they could be.

Essek lifted Caleb’s hands to his lips, kissing each knuckle in turn, his eyes boring into Caleb’s. Then he tugged Caleb towards the shoreline. There, they let the tide lick their toes, laughing as it tickled. Essek’s laugh was sweet and soft, his smile warm and unburdened. That was rare. So rare. Caleb’s heart swelled.

He leaned down to kiss him. Essek slid in close, fingers splayed across Caleb’s back. And they kissed and kissed and kissed until they couldn’t breathe.

They took a five-second break. And then they kissed again.

[death-is-a-new-beginning]

if you still write for cisco, i’d like ro request a smut (if you do them, its okay if not)! he and the reader are together but its a secret. she’s been bratty and teasing him all day. cisco tries to keep his cool but he’s obviously breaking, so she snaps hia final straw by flirting with barry (before iris & him are together). something inside him snaps and he drags her to his lab and fucks her senseless and overstimulates her. thank you in advance!!

A/N: Ooh I would love to do this for you! This is my first time writing smut but I'm going to do my best. Sorry it took so long! I wanted to make sure I got this right. I hope you like it! Also requests are open, feel free to request some more fics! 

Word Count: 2699

__________________________________________________________________

All damn day. All damn day y/n had been teasing Cisco. He was going absolutely mad because all he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap and kiss her senseless and do so many things just to hear her scream Papi, the way she did when she finally released her control. God just thinking about it made him want her that much more. But he couldn't do anything because they were keeping their relationship on the down low.

She was wearing normal clothes that normally would not call attention to her but for some reason it looked so good on her. It had been cold outside so she had worn a black hoodie with the S.T.A.R Labs logo on it and some dark jeans with red converse, totally normal clothes. But something about those jeans made her butt look a type of way that he just wanted to smack. At some point during the day in between missions the temperature had gotten warm and y/n took off her hoodie to reveal one of Cisco's new t-shirts he'd gotten recently with a mathematical equation written on it. It was like she was trying to get them outted. She looked at him smirking, knowing full well what wearing his clothes did to him. She then circled him like a temptress and reached over the control table for a her pen and came dangerously close to his face, he could feel her breath fanning him, her lips inches from him. It was like a mental battle they were fighting to see who would give in first. He was oh so close and willing to give in if it meant having her close to him.

After a few seconds of making intense eye contact, she smiled sweetly and said "Sorry Pap-Cisco I can't seem to reach my pen, do you mind passing it to me?"

He quickly passed it to her, swallowing thickly suddenly so thirsty, with a thirst that no amount of water could quench but time alone with her. He stood up abruptly and said, "No problem at all," and quickly exited the room, he need to get out of there. Barry would be back from the police department soon and he didn't want them to catch them doing something deliciously indecent. Not to mention Caitlin was working with them as well so it would just be problematic all the way around.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by agonizingly. With "accidental" brushes of skin in passing or flirty glances and there may have been something with a lollipop and a fake innocent laugh, he was at his wits end and about ready to burst, not caring about exposing their relationship. Later that day, they were working on some tech for Barry's suit when Cisco made a comment about her not programming something correctly and she just flipped him off.

"Like you never make a mistake? Geez, I'm already fixing it. Get off my back cowboy." The sexual frustration was translating over into just straight frustration with each other.

"Rarely do I make a mistake that would end in our friend getting killed," he fired back at her, immediately regretting it but he couldn't take it back.

"Fine, Mr. Perfect finish this yourself. I need a break anyways," she huffed and dropped the tools she was using and was already out of the room before he could call her back.

When Barry walked into the metahuman jail section, he noticed y/n sitting down on the floor reading a book about Quantum Physics, trying to come up with new ways to help Barry's suit phase with him more smoothly.

"It looks like you're doing some light reading," he joked, sitting next to her.

She laughed, "Yep, I needed a distraction before actually punching someone in the face. Maybe you know a guy on which I could use as a punching bag?"

Barry's eyebrow raised inquisitively, "Who do you want to punch in the face? Who hurt you?" He began laughing and bumped her shoulder with his.

"That is a can of worms I'm not sure we want to open muchacho," she joked with a bright smile, already feeling better, she hated arguing with Cisco, especially when it came to keeping Barry safe or when he felt like she wasn't doing a good enough job.

"How about you give me a list of names and I'll be back in like two minutes with the names crossed off with thorough lessons learned?"

"You think you could get it done in two minutes? Its quite a long list. I think it would take five minutes at least."

"Dang how long are we talking?" He asked.

"You know that episode of SpongeBob where the list just keeps going like out of his house or what not? Yeah about that long," she chuckled.

Barry cracked his knuckles and stood up, "Okay, no time like the present, give me the names and I'll beat their ass," she stood up while laughing then said, "Easy there Sonic, you need to fuel up and check in with Caitlin for your normal check up."

About thirty minutes later when she hadn't returned, Cisco went to go find her, he was worried he might have took it too far. He passed by the metahuman holding cells and heard her laughter mixing with Barry's. They were making their way to the entrance, he heard Barry ask her if there was anything he could do to help her and she said a hug would work. He watched them hug, her arms were around his neck which made her shirt rise up a little so Barry's hands were on her bare skin. After a few seconds they pulled away, with a sigh she sent him on his way to Caitlin and sighed before turning to go back to where Cisco was only to come face to face with a pissed off Cisco.

Y/n stopped in her tracks, a pissed off Cisco was probably one of the hottest thing to witness, but his anger was directed towards her, she could detect that much.

"What the hell Y/n? I know we want to keep our relationship on the DL but flirting with Barry? What the actual hell?" The realization that Cisco was jealous of Barry, for no reason, made her laugh.

"What is so funny?" Cisco asked almost yelling. He couldn't take it anymore, he felt so possessive and seeing them hug was the straw that broke this camels back. He would show her who she belonged to, as much as he belonged to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a secret room he had found the first year he started working at the lab. He sometimes slept there when he was working late. It had a mattress he'd secretly brought a few years ago.

He locked the door and like a predator hunting his prey, he pounced. He pushed her up against the wall, he had placed his hand behind her head to protect it, just like guys do in anime. His eyes darkened when he saw how turned on she was. He almost growled, "You're mine. Only mine, and I'm yours," he pressed his lips to hers passionately and it was on. A fight for dominance began but one he was winning. He smiled in the kiss and pulled away. Her eyes slowly opened, she was panting hard. His hands had moved down from her head to her side sliding his hand under his shirt she was wearing until he reached her breasts and he squeezed her the way she liked.

She moaned softly with this action her eyes growing dark and his hand were on the move again, unbottoning her jeans and reaching for the one place she ached for. When he reached that place his hands slowly circled her mound so slow that it was almost agonizing.

"All day you've been taunting me, being cute, wearing my shirt, being a brat. You even flirted with Barry! Well baby girl, you messed with the bull, prepare to get the horns." His voice deepened and the Cisco that only she gets to see came forward. He removed his hand, the source of her pleasure, which made her whine in desperation. 

"Take off everything. Now." He demanded.

"Yes S-sir." She stuttered, at times she was unprepared for the shift in dominance with Cisco. Most of the time he was laid back and nerdy as all get out, but here and right now Papi Cisco was present and demanded respect. This made her want him all that much more. She removed her articles of clothing one by one. His eyes raked over her as he licked his lips. 

“Now get on all fours on the mattress. You know what to do, you’ve been a bad girl and it’s time to get punished,” She complied, her bum was up slightly. She stared ahead at the metal wall. He took off his shirt, and approached her his hands squeezing her ass, massaging it. 

“You’ve been bad baby girl, being so beautiful and flirty with me all day when we are trying to keep our relationship under wraps. You’ve been pushing my buttons. You’re going to count to three okay?” He asked kindly. 

“Okay,” She said. 

“Okay what?” He asked.

“Okay sir,” She replied with a smile on her face. 

“Good girl, let’s begin,” He spanked her, it was a solid spank that didn’t hurt but made heat pool down her body. “One,” she moaned. The second and third followed suit with more pressure in each spank. After he was done, he massaged her butt, there was a bit of redness but he would make sure she wasn’t in any discomfort. He peppered kisses on her ass which made her moan, the soft touches were driving her crazy. He took those kisses lower until he reached her lips, licking down her strip, moaning at how wet she was for him. 

“Please, Cisco,” she mewled, all she wanted was for him to finish what he started over and over again. 

“No Mamas, you teased me, now its my turn. On your back baby girl. You’re not allowed to touch yourself,” she turned over, laying on some firm pillows that gave her the support she’d definitely need soon. When she looked at him, he was putting his hair up with a hair tie and there was a few strands that would always fall loose no matter how hard she tried. He looked beautiful, she enjoyed seeing all the different sides of him, they often face so much danger which is why they decided they wouldn't tell anyone until they were sure it would last. 

He kneeled onto the mattress and made his way to her, like a predator hunting for his prey and he looked hungry. Like he’d eat her whole. She almost moaned at the thought. When he reached her, he  was hovering above her, mere inches from her lips. 

“May I kiss you?” He asked, even when he was in dominant mode, he always asked her for consent, always made sure she was okay. The respect alone made her love him so much more. She wanted him to do more that kiss her, she wanted him to fuck her so good and then make love to her, the order in which that happened did not matter. 

“Yes, you can kiss me. I hope you plan on fucking me too though,” with that he smiled and smashed his lips to hers, sucking on her bottom lip a little before slipping his tongue in to her mouth. His hands wandered to her breasts, squeezing her nipples roughly which made her moan into his mouth and arch her back. His hand continued his journey down her body and between her legs, she was so sensitive and swollen there. He rubbed in circles then in 8 rotation movements. And with two fingers he entered her, he started pumping the digits in and out of her. She began moaning, her hips trying to meet his fingers with each thrust. 

After a few moments of fingering her, on the brink of her orgasm, he stopped. He slid his fingers out and she clenched around the absence of his fingers. He brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them, tasting her while making direct eye contact. He smirked, he planned on edging her for while before letting her finish. 

“Please Cisco, I was so close,” she pleaded. Aching to finish the job herself. 

“No baby girl you’re not allowed to cum until I say so, understand?”

“Yes, sir, “ she conceded. He placed one more kiss on her lips before moving down her body, leaving a trail of kisses as he made his way between her legs. Then he started sucking and licking and tonguing her entrance, He could feel her start to clench around him and so he stopped. Again. He robbed her from completion again, he kissed her thighs as he sat up on his knees. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. He stood up pulling the last remaining clothing off. He was standing there in all his glory. He pulled a condom from his wallet and gave himself a few pumps until he was hard enough to put the condom off. 

When he was ready he climbed back to her rubbing himself at her entrance, to which she moaned. He kissed her and pushed his way inside of her, they both moaned, he stretched her so well, he waited a bit to let her adjust and then began to move slowly, in and out of her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist trying to meet each thrust. He kissed her harder as he started to speed up, hitting the spot that made her go wild. 

He then slowed and came to a stop as she came close once again and came to a halt. She huffed in frustration, but then Cisco moved to his knees whilst still inside her, she was clenching and unclenching around him which almost made his control waver. He lifter her legs to be on either side of his neck and he put a pillow under her bum so she was comfortable. He held her legs together and started to thrust into her deeper and harder than before, she was screaming in pleasure, which made Cisco glad he had sound proofed the room. 

¨Papi, please let me cum. I´ll be a good girl. Daddy please,¨ she recited like a prayer, she wasn´t sure she could prolong her orgasm if she tried. He was fucking her so good. 

¨Cum now baby girl,¨ he demanded and she experienced the strongest orgasm she´d ever had. The man was Gandalf at making her cum. How he learned all of these techniques was beyond her. As she rode the high down, he continued to thrust until he came not too long after she had finished. He pulled out, he cum slipping out of her lips. He slowly lowered her legs down and went down on her, lapping up her juices, cleaning her, and sucking her sensitive clit, she didn´t think it was possible, but she ended up coming again for the second time. 

He cuddled her and she came down another high, panting. “I’m glad I was being a bad girl today.” She said with a laugh.

-A few days later-

Y/n was hanging with the gang in the main control area, laughing and joking around with Barry and Caitlin. Cisco walks into the room, strolls over to her, mumbling something like “Fuck it” and spins her to him and kisses her in front of everyone, she kisses him back on instinct. After a moment, he pulls away and looks around the room and says, “She’s mine.” then he struts out  back to his lab. 

“I knew it! Barry you owe me $100.” Caitlin said excitedly while clapping. 

Y/N just sits there in shock of what happened. “Wait you guys had a bet going?” She exclaimed.

-Fin-