#this was a lot of text I’m sorry

[fiabolic]

I would love a commission, but I'm intimidated by the requirement for references. As someone without an artistic bone in their body, I have no idea what constitutes a useful reference or how to find them. Also, while your prices are most certainly what is deserved for the quality of your work (if not undervalued), it's still a significant amount for the average person.

I appreciate you sending this, thank you :)

The reference requirement it’s more just having a visual reference for the character to be drawn. For instance, people have given me screenshots of their Monster Hunter and FFXIV characters, or—if they have them—art of their oc drawn by another artist.

For poses it’s totally fine if you were to draw it yourself, even if it was just a stick figure (which I’ve had previous clients do!). But it’s also totally fine to just leave it up to me. Otherwise I believe a lot of people just search on Pinterest for pose ideas or even take screenshots from animes etc

But if ever in doubt, feel free to DM or email me questions you have! I know it’s a little intimidating but I’ll never be angry about questions :)

And for the price, you’re right. It seems like everyone is struggling lately and I know my prices aren’t great for a lot of people.

[samglyph]

I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.

[yuttikkele]

I did the ship chart thing with two of my ships that have been on the mind recently mmm

(base under the cut)

[cloudabserk]

also to be clear. i really like naruto and think it’s a good manga. it is not a guilty pleasure or “almost good” to me. i think kishimoto had a really compelling story to tell about grief and love and naruto and sasuke, and he got to tell it. unfortunately he also ended up talking about women and politics for a while there. but even then his clumsiness is honestly kind of interesting to me, and i don’t think it ruins the heart of the story !

[booksandpaperss]

How Stranger Things (poorly) handles racism as a topic compared other heavy topics it successfully tackles

before we get started, I would to direct you all to some other accounts who have already discussed this that you should check out either before or after reading this post: @wewebaggit @googoogagaeyes @elekinetic and anyone else please feel free to tag yourself or another account that’s discussed this and I’ll happily boost it

Content Warning for in show examples of racism and discussions of racism, as well as mentions of homophobia and the AIDES epidemic

.

. While we're discussing historical accuracy in stranger things and homophobia + ignorance being present even in well meaning characters, I want to point out that if the writers of the show weren't so squeamish about addressing racism in any in depth way, than this type of historical accuracy would be for racism too.

what I mean by this: in this sense, the show is not consistent. It's clear that the writers have done their research on 80s homophobia and how openly prevalent it was, if the AIDES allegory in season 2 and the way homophobia was very clearly present in seasons 1 and 2 (it still is in seasons 3 and 4 but the first 2 seasons showed it in the scope of the entire town), but racism was just as overtly prevalent, and yet the writers have neglected to address it in the same thoughtful and coded way. if the show was just as consistent about racism as it is about homophobia, than the white characters would be at the very least shown as ignorant just like the straight characters are.

and I'm not going to say that it's completely ignored, because that's not true:

-in season 2; mike makes an ignorant comment that implies Lucas should have been Winston because he's black, and Lucas calls him on it. There's also the very racist undertones (that are practically overtones) of Billy's treatment of Lucas. -There is almost nothing in season 3 except for a jokey joke when Nancy says the whole party is her family and the receptionist, who is a black woman, gives Lucas a skeptical look.

-Season 4 is a little better, with the implications (key word: implications, I'll come back to that in a moment) of Lucas's season 4 arc being that he was trying to fit in because he didn't want to be racially targeted and bullied for being a nerd at the same time anymore, that he felt like even more of an outsider compared to the rest of his otherwise all white friend group who, as far as he knows, are all cishet and giving him shit for wanting to lessen how much he's perceived as an outsider because he's automatically seen as even more of a "freak", and his friends just weren't getting it because they were white and ignorant. So the writers aren't blind to race and racism.

However. None of the examples that I've just listed are addressed later in any in depth way; not like the homophobia is. The only one that's even remotely delved into instead of simply being glossed over is Lucas's s4 arc, and even that is still very flitted around and left up to interpretation of the audience.

The writers seem to have a very "hit and run" sort of policy with addressing racism. They clearly know they should, and they at least seem to know that having a black character in an 80s setting with a cast of mostly white characters inherently creates a lot of racial subtext-

-for example, the very loud subtext of Jason (a white boy much older than Lucas) seeing Max (a white girl) in a trance alone with Lucas (a black boy) and immediately assuming the worst + Jason's white friends tackling an 11 year old black girl to the ground: subtext that I'm still not sure if the writers and directors were even aware of bc they never addressed it and their track record isn't great-

-but they hardly do anything about it.

I'm not surprised, considering this show is headed by two white men, but what really gets me is that they all truly could have tried harder. Like I said earlier, it's clear they've done research and put thought into addressing homophobia (it still could've been handled better but that's an entirely different conversation), and it's evident from Max's s4 arc that they also did research on Depression, PTSD, and the impacts on someone of their abusive family member dying. So the lack of care and thought put into addressing racism in the same way is clearly more than ignorance (which would still be bad, when you're writing a show this big in 2023 with topics like this you're actually, shocker, responsible for making sure they're addressed properly, ignorance is a choice at that point), its just fucking lazy. they don't care. And this not caring is inherently harmful on a show this big and frankly, I'm tired of so many viewers and people in this fandom straight up ignoring this fact, just like the show runners.

And I haven't even covered the complete lack of effort put into Patrick's backstory, or the fact that Erica is very much the sassy, mature for her age black girl stereotype (she deserves so much better). Oh, And we can’t forget the copaganda.

I'm glad that season 4 started to explore the dynamic between Lucas and Erica and expand on both their characters, and from the looks of things that will continue in season 5, so the writers have a chance to do their research, actually put effort more effort into the sinclair sibling’s characters, and improve, and I'm hoping they will but as of right now I don't trust them to, and won't unless they prove me wrong.

TDLR; the main issue is that Stranger Things is clearly a show that addresses topics like depression, abuse, homophobia, and racism, but the racism part is neglected compared to the others, just like how Lucas and Erica's characters are handled poorly compared to the white characters,. it's lazy, horribly insensitive, and racist in and of itself. There's a clear bias, and even if it improves in season 5 we still should be talking about it, and more white people (yes white queer people included, we are not exempt from this discussion, if anything we should care just as much about it as when we’re talking about homophobia) in this fandom need to start listening when black and brown people do talk about it instead of just waltzing through and ignoring it for your own peace of mind.

also I should clarify that I myself am white, I made sure I did research before making this post in order to talk about this accurately and consciously, but if I made any mistakes or said something insensitive or used an incorrect term or anything else, feel free to correct me and I will readily fix it

as a final note: please check my rebligs of this for links to more posts that talk abt this issue

[youdeserveanaward]

You did it! You made it through a depressive episode! You’re amazing!

[bizabumblebee]

tell us about yunobo

why's he ur funky lil guy

id love to hear why

This is a very good ask I don’t think I’ve ever actually told anyone why I like Yunobo so much

Preemptive spoiler alert for both Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom by the way

(Also this turned into a bit of a character analysis on Yunobo I’m so sorry it’s so ridiculously long lmao)

Personally my favorite Zelda “race” or whatever has always been gorons, huge fellas who mine rocks and eat rocks and are rocks, just big ol walking boulders with kind souls, I think they’re very silly and cute. But I really like Yunobo because he’s not really like any of the other gorons (He’s not like other girls!!), because he’s so much more… emotional? I guess? In each of the Goron race’s appearances throughout the Zelda games they’re portrayed pretty much the same way, either tough and brave and heroic (Like Darunia, Daruk and Darmani), or chill and generally nonchalant (Like… pretty much every other goron). Though they are kind and playful, they’re also tough and unmoving as stone. Yunobo (on a surface level), is neither of these things. When you first meet him in BotW he runs and yelps in fear, and a great portion of the fan base calls him a coward because of this. He’s very unsure of himself, and unsure of a lot of things in general. In the artbook “Creating a Champion”, his description is as follows:

“Yunobo is the grandchild of the Champion Daruk. He has an adult body but still has some growing up to do. He is easily frightened by monsters and isn't exactly what one might call brave, but, driven by thoughts of protecting his people, he gathers enough courage to aid Link in quelling the Divine Beast Vah Rudania. He is earnest and naive, readily believing nearly anything anyone tells him.”

So yeah. He’s a scaredy-cat. He’s a pushover. He’s incredibly naive and a bit childish.

AND YET.

He helped save his people, and the entirety of Hyrule… TWICE. Because he is brave. Bravery is not an immediate heroic desire to face any danger for the sake of the greater good.

It is action in spite of fear.

He is afraid. He’s unsure, and he’s flighty, and he’s defensive. But he swallows these fears and chooses to act in spite of them, helping link to take back control of Vah Rudania, and saving his people. For me, seeing the journey Yunobo takes to find his courage is a lot more satisfying than if he were just already a brave go-getter from the moment you meet him.

And then things get even more interesting in the second game (again, spoilers for TotK ahead).

After he helps Link take back Vah Rudania and Calamity Ganon is defeated, Yunobo goes right to helping his people recover from the the post-calamity craziness. He’s incredibly devoted to them. He’s a helper through and through, willing to do anything it takes for the sake of others. His loyalty knows absolutely no bounds. But unfortunately, this can get the better of him.

Like when his good friend “Zelda” shows up and gives him some weird mask and tells him to put it on.

Honestly, when I saw Yunobo for the first time in TotK, I was one of the many people who was terrified that Nintendo might have made him an asshole for no reason. I mean, they gave Sidon a wife so people would stop shipping him with Link, I wouldn’t put it past them (totally backfired though lol, now they’re just a polycule).

But instead they had actually put him into one of my favorite character tropes: self-conscious but good-natured character easily susceptible to corruption (See: Luigi [SPM], Bolin [TLoK], Locksley [AS:TNC] -they’re all also green for some reason? Crazy). I really like this particular trope because it shows the very real (and frankly scary) way that those with the best intentions can most easily be led astray. As someone who’s kinda struggled with having a people-pleaser personality (incredibly susceptible to peer-pressure, neglecting my own needs over the needs of others, not able to set boundaries, etc), this trope is a relatable cautionary tale for me. Those who just want to help more often than not end up helping those with bad intentions without realizing.

Buuuuut I won’t go too far into all that (it’ll get sad fast eugh)

My main point is that Yunobo is brave, kind, and loyal (even to a fault), and for me that’s a wonderful formula for a character as nervous and dopey as him. Yeah he’s got rocks for brains, but he’s got a heart as big as a lynel’s. I don’t throw this term around liberally but I would say he could definitely count as a himbo.

Ugggghhh this is getting too long ffs. I’ll just list a couple more reasons why he’s important to me specifically.

He is… very large. Ahem. I like big fellas. You know how it is. ANYWAY

He’s a bit dopey but he’s definitely not incompetent. He’s the president of a highly successful mining company and he’s helped save Goron City (and the entirety of Hyrule) TWICE. That’s pretty cool. I’ve seen a lot of people shit on him in the first game for “always getting spotted by the drones” but like. Dude that’s your fault. He told you he would come when called and stop when told to, it’s on you if he walks into a searchlight.

He’s got very intriguing lore (to me at least), that leaves a lot of room for speculation. Like, he’s the “grandson” of Daruk, but how does that work?? Gorons are born from the mountain itself, they don’t give birth. There’s a pair of Gorons in TotK that call themselves “brothers” (still a bit confusing since most gorons throughout the series call each other brother anyway), but they explain it was because they were born in the same cave at the same time, so they’re like family. Does this mean Yunobo was just born in the same cave Daruk was, and therefore inherited his “genes” and his magical abilities? Maybe! Maybe it’s a really cool special cave, right at the summit or something, where his whole lineage was born all the way back to the first sage of fire. Cool stuff to think about!

He’s not the leader of his people, in either game. That job belongs to Bludo. In the second game he’s definitely got a lot more influence and does occupy a position of leadership, but he’s not the chief. He’s just some Goron. The role of aiding link in both games is thrust onto him entirely because of his lineage. But he takes responsibility for it. He understands the power he holds, both as a champion’s descendant and as the Sage of Fire, and he steps up to the role. He feels a responsibility to his people and his city, even despite not being its official leader like the other champion’s descendants. That’s pretty cool.

He’s very sweet! I’ve talked about how kind and caring he is already but there’s a difference between doing it with a stoic sense of heroism or duty, and doing it with a big dopey grin and a genuine care for those he cares about. He’s often unsure and self-conscious, and yet he’s surprisingly optimistic about most things a lot of the time. He has a big smile (most gorons do), but he has an absolutely heart-melting laugh. I often tear up during the cutscene in which he sees the spirit of Daruk reclaiming Vah Rudania, him laughing and waving with such genuine joy and excitement, aghhhh it’s too much. Joe Hernandez certainly did a great job putting authenticity into Yunobo’s (and Daruk’s) emotions, this cutscene especially.

He has the best secret stone ability (gameplay wise). You cannot change my mind. Tulin is great for mobility and the other two are fine for tactical combat stuff, but none of them even come close to the versatility and power of Yunobo. Don’t have any good rock-breaking weapons and don’t want to use up bombs or zonai devices? Yunobo! Using a control stick-operated machine and can’t pull out your bow to snipe that pesky aerocuda? Yunobo! Wanna separate a big group of enemies from each other without wasting bombs? Yunobo! And don’t even get me started on the fact that when he’s on a vehicle, he’s got zero cooldown. You can hop on a hoverboard and decimate a molduga just by dribbling Yunobo on its head like a basketball.

All this being said I certainly think Yunobo is too often overlooked by fans for “being a coward”, or just… being a Goron? Gorons in general have often been a bit neglected in favor of the other more serious, conventionally attractive and *cough* slimmer *cough* Zelda races. It’s a bit disheartening seeing the amount of fan artists who don’t even have a clue how to approach drawing Yunobo or Daruk, simply because they don’t know how to draw bulky, fat or muscled characters. But I won’t preach too much on the subject, haha.

Long story short, I love Yunobo a whole lot and I’d love to give him a big hug and a smooch. That’s about it :))))

Also here’s a little sketch I made of him as a bonus for reading all that haha

[badolmen]

On the topic of ‘bad mascot horror video games for kids’ the exception to the rule (or rather, something that understood the assignment) would be My Friendly Neighborhood.

I don’t want to spoil anything if you haven’t booted up the game before, but just…don’t be fooled by jumpscare compilations or the character design. From the opening cutscene this game grabs you by the fucking throat. The mechanics have thought put into them, the voice acting is top notch, and christ the fucking story - a complete story, one that has an end that isn’t promised in future ‘chapters’ or left ambiguous.

Yes, it has jumpscares from goofy muppet monsters, but they’re not cheap tricks. Once you learn how the game works they’re easy to avoid or at the very least anticipate - not to mention they’re survivable with the healing mechanic. And just when you think the scares are done, when you’re well into the game and have all the tools you need to navigate around potential jumpscares, the final act dunks you into the deep-end with the actual horror and nightmare fuel puppets.

I’m not sure how much the game as a whole qualifies as ‘horror,’ but it’s certainly being lumped in with the Whatever-Mascot Horror Game of the Week genre. Which is a shame because My Friendly Neighborhood is leagues ahead of those other games. It has more in common with survival horror than it does with mascot horror in terms of gameplay and tropes. It’s literally just the ‘monster’ designs leading people to assume its another Poppy Playtime clone complete with half baked story and repetitive, unimaginative gameplay loops. And that’s so far from the truth -

My Friendly Neighborhood is like if Sesame Street and Resident Evil had a beautiful muppet baby that opened its eyes to have an existential crisis when confronted with the horrors and apathy of modern capitalism.

[fluffypotatey]

That is, huh. A lot more of a thought out response then what I was going for lol. I was like “what little rat does that remind you of” “the dude spying in the castle just now” when I rhetorically said “what shadowpeach does that remind you of” and you debunked it 😭 but since we’re talking about this now

Wiki calls em “an interconnected, self-perpetuating cycle. Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary and at the same time opposing forces that interact to form a dynamic system. Yin and yang transform each other: like an undertow in the ocean, every advance is complemented by a retreat, and every rise transforms into a fall.” Idk about you but with Mac getting chaos powers, I figured the show might take inspo from this, what with the cycles and all too. There might be an opposite “order” power in contrast to Nines. If Pandora’s box is literal, MK is “hope” there’s a lot of other symbolism fandom likes the stereotypically portray into their ShadowPeach lol. But they have day/night too. Nobody has to think too hard to take inspo, and most shows don’t in my experience. Shout out to Ninjago and ATLA just mixing culture and language in a way that annoys people and placing it under one umbrella.

well i mean, lmk is already playing with the themes of order and chaos. except there Order was on the side of the antagonists while MK was Chaos (being the harbinger and all). we saw it with LBD and Azure and now with Nines

also, lmk’s order can be seen when it talks about Fate and Destiny and even the “story”, but in a way where they are shown as being too fixed and bureaucratic compared to the lessons being taught to MK and by MK which are “your fate (order) is your own and can only be determined by you.”

we had it with MK telling LBD “do you really think the universe cares about any of us?”

we had it when Macky told MK “if you tread the paths already carved for you, then you doom yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy”

we have it even more explicitly in s5 from Wukong: “sometimes you need to carve your own path and fuck all the rest”

lmk is all about finding that balance between the chaos of your mind and the forced order of the world around you. our own daily ying and yang that we must balance, and that is why i don't place those themes with shadowpeach just because it takes away from the crux of the show where it’s original focus is on MK and how he changes and grow throughout the seasons

tbh i think their day/night themes with ying/yang are significantly minor. the major focus with them is the themes of betrayal and reconciliation and past haunts

[rinaforreal]

I love this moment specially because you can see how safe they feel with each other, how at ease they feel with each other. Gina just showed Ricky the very first song she has ever written for him about them and she feels so safe and secure being that vulnerable with him, and he is such a pillar for her such a grounding presence such a reassuring presence. She knows that he is her right person and now she gets to reap the benefits of that. And for him to be so wanted by another person so valued and thought of so highly. Like being loved and loving the right person just feels good and you can see it written all over there faces.

[teamjo]

I feel like shit today.

[cowbutchranch]

Uh. Hypothetically how do we feel about bitches who quadruple text 👀

[un-pearable]

legitimately anyone who is a self described fan of children’s cartoons over the age of 12 needs to watch Infinity Train. it explicitly bridges the gap between the tone, tropes, and storytelling limitations of Y7 and the level of complexity than we want from it. every single person writing pages long screeds about character development and nuance in shows that are primarily marketed at a younger audience but have significant meaning to older age groups would get so fuckin much out of the themes and story of Infinity Train, which is explicitly a story about those more complex themes.

it gamifies character development as part of it’s core conceit. each season gets more mature as it deals with more complex issues of morality and ethics and it’s still a silly epsiodic show with fun gags. it grows up as the story progresses with each anthologic installment giving you more complex interpersonal relationships and issues. there’s on screen cop murder. cults. incredibly gay coded music duo from the 80s that are the most divorced twenty year olds you’ve ever seen. a story that grows with you.

and you can’t fuckin watch it anywhere bc the animation industry is a puppet at the whims of investors in love with the impossible horizon

Infinity Train is the result of a decade of shows like Adventure Time and Gravity Falls and Steven Universe, of animators and artists’s growing desire to tell stories that grow with kids beyond their designated demographic in the American cultural conscience. and you can’t watch it.

they were going to talk about alzheimers. the thesis of infinity train is that animation is a medium, not a genre. a vehicle for exploring complex topics in a way that live action can’t. it’s a therapy train that traumatizes it’s riders more often than not. they covered everything from divorce’s impact on children to trans-coded identity crisis to the realities of a Lost Boys experience. what it means to be human. they were going to talk about alzheimers

it’s literally a vehicle for character development . it’s the midpoint on the spectrum between children’s media and mature writing. it is everything you seek out of fan fiction being explicit in the text. and you cant watch it bc it being animated means it’s worthless

[hannahhasafact]

How it started:

How it’s going:

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[tenebrous-academic]

Happy is what happens when all your dreams come true

A little ficlet for my Tommy supporters 😌

CW: Buddie 

It’s good. It’s great. It’s everything that everyone says he should want. This is what he wants - he just needs to adjust. Right? 

Ever since Eddie kissed him two months ago, after stumbling through a one-sided conversation about seizing life and finding himself, Buck has been existing in a whirlwind of emotions. They’d barely had 48 hours to explore what a relationship between them could look like before the rest of the 118 had found out. Since then, it’s been a constant litany of “it’s like you’ve always been together” and “you’re perfect for each other.” There’s a hovering expectation that this is it - this is what Buck’s been waiting for and isn’t he lucky that Eddie finally decided to say something? 

And he is - of course he is. He’s so lucky. And so happy. And absolutely not suffocating under the weight of his family’s collective expectations. 

Being with Eddie is easy. Theoretically. They’re best friends. They love each other. So why isn’t it just as easy to sit on Eddie’s couch and cook dinner as it was before? Why does every time someone gives him a knowing glance when Eddie mentions their plans for the week it feels like ants are crawling across his skin? 

A stable and fulfilling relationship is what Buck’s been searching for ever since Tommy left. He’s had his fill of flings and one-night stands to know what he wants: Buck’s ready for his forever person. For his last person. And surely that’s Eddie? 

It’s a storybook ending, to fall for your best friend and realize your one true love was under your nose all along. Maddie loves to gush about how lucky Buck is, and how happy she is to see him settled down with someone as great as Eddie. The entire 118 seems unable to go for more than two shifts before commenting on how perfect they are together and just how happy they seem now. Not only that, but he’s no longer just Buck - now he’s a member of BuckandEddie. Always paired together. Lacking all previous perceived autonomy. But that’s what a long-term partnership means. It’s HenandKaren. BobbyandAthena. MaddieandChimney. He can do this. He can be BuckandEddie.

They can’t help it that Buck feels like an imposter every time his relationship is put on a pedestal. They can’t help that Buck has to swallow down a rising swell of nausea and panic every time someone hints at how the next step must be marriage and adoption papers. Never mind it’s only been two months. Never mind that Buck doesn’t think Christopher even knows about the change of status in his and Eddie’s relationship. Eddie always says he’ll mention it on their next phone call, but it never seems to come up before Christopher finds an excuse to hang up. Buck hasn’t found much reason to put up a fuss - he’s content in maintaining even a modicum of his previous status quo. 

It’s just - sometimes Buck can’t help but resent how easy this seems to be for Eddie and everyone else. They’ve taken it for granted that this was always how it was supposed to end up. That Eddie was just waiting for Buck to get his shit together and realize he was waiting, right there in front of him. It’s a lot of pressure and he has no one to talk to about it. The few times he’s tried, with Maddie, Bobby, and Hen, it’s only resulted in a lecture over how he needs to be mature and make this relationship work. He’s been given very clear instructions on not to “Buck it up” this time. And he won’t! He doesn’t want to. Buck is sure that he can make this work - that he can find a way to get rid of the uncertainty and panic that comes up every time Eddie starts talking about the future. 

Sometimes though, he can’t help but compare how he feels now to the last time he was in a long-term relationship with a man. With Tommy. The differences are so stark it’s almost impossible to reconcile. He knows it’s not fair to Eddie, to hold him up to the standard set by an impossibly charming man who held his hand as he stumbled through his first steps of bisexuality.  Tommy gave him a set of expectations of what a partner should be in a way that no other relationship ever has. 

Eddie can’t help that Tommy gave him butterflies at the thought of a future together, while Eddie himself evokes a sensation more akin to heavy rocks sinking in his stomach. But surely that’s normal? It shouldn’t always be excitement and giddiness, there needs to be a balance. It’s perfectly reasonable to be anxious and nervous about the future. Tommy was an exception. He wasn’t sustainable - as evidenced by a breakup that still sends him into a depression baking cycle every time he thinks about it for too long. 

Sometimes, though, Buck thinks about reaching out to Tommy, just to say hi. It’s been over a year now, he has far more experience and knowledge than he did when they last parted ways. He has more grace and understanding for why Tommy chose to end the relationship when he did. It was a weird situation made worse by Buck’s naivety. He still can’t believe he thanked him. Yikes. Now though, Buck thinks they could find common ground. Maybe even be friends again. Entirely platonic, of course, since he’s with Eddie now. He’s reasonably confident he can do platonic. Nearly 70% sure. Maybe 50/50. Okay, it’s definitely a gamble. 

But still, it would be nice to have Tommy back in his life. To have someone on his side maybe - someone he could vent to when he needs an escape from the constant expectations of his relationship. He knows Eddie and Tommy haven’t spoken in months, knows that Eddie broke off contact around the same time he was coming to grips with his feelings for Buck. Maybe Tommy could be something just for him - just for Buck to have, existing outside the confines of BuckandEddie. 

Now that’s a dangerous thought. Once that resurrects the previously calcified butterflies in his stomach. Buck doesn’t know if Tommy will even want to pick up the phone when he calls, but the unknown of it all is making him more excited than he has been in a while. It’s a new path. An unknown variable. An option that isn’t written out for him five steps in advance. 

And Oh. 

He’s going to Buck this up, isn’t he?