#this was a fucking joy to experience
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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#our queer experience#lgbtq#lesbian#wlw#cowboyjen#<— i fucking love her account#video#lesbian joy#lesbian positivity
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👏 people 👏 shouldn't 👏 have 👏 to 👏 fear 👏 for 👏 their 👏 lives 👏 when 👏 doing 👏 something 👏 they 👏 love 👏
#what's not clicking???#i don't give a fuck about#your religion#or what type of music you like and don't like#people are allowed to experience joy#fuck all of this#in the broad sense#taylor swift#the eras tour#eras tour vienna#vienna#southport
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everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2
#i will go first. breaking the boundaries set in place by the systems of love and romance is so cool#and i feel like it opens up so many possibilities.#like i've said in a poem before aromanticism to me is not a lack of anything it's an opening of the world before me...#it is also! the fact that i have had to contend with the thought of a future living my life alone#and now i am not only at peace with it but so happy with the idea. so overjoyed at the thought of spending my life with myself.#self esteem and delight and choosing what you want and making a life that is really and truly your own#without society's expectations changing it and without someone else's expectations changing it#AND. being sexy as fuck. aromanticism to me#if you don't feel aro joy rn you are not allowed to bemoan the experience on this post. i care dearly for you but go find another post.#before you do that though. take a second and look through the notes... hopefully people will have put some good stuff in there...#it is hard to get to the point of aromanticism bringing you joy sometimes BUT. by fucking god you can get there.#and it is so so fantastic...#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aspec#aroace#aro positivity#aro joy#aromantic positivity
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god we really need to cancel twitter user dreamwastaken all those ns.fw jokes he makes about nutting in georges ass and eating him out are obviously against their boundaries. dnf shippers are taking it way too far 🙄
#satire if u couldnt tell#every time i think about joining twitter again i get noped the fuck out by some chronically online idiots getting mad at every little thing#would it kill you to maybe not once in a while. to just experience joy like ever#atp they just police ppl for the sake of feeling morally superior 😭#ok rant over now#discourse
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I would never delete my fics
I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.
So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.
But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.
And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.
My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.
Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.
I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.
So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.
That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)
But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.
I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.
#9-1-1#fandom discourse#writing#buddie#bucktommy#this is my first experience being this heavily embroiled in fandom drama#i cant say i like it#that thread legitimately made me so sad to read#i was so excited to work on the Daniel ghost fic and maybe start posting this weekend#and now i just feel so fucking flat#maybe ill delete this#or at least part of it because i do want people that they dont need to worry about losing my fics#im so immensely grateful to my readers I would never want to take away something that brought them joy#even if they apparently think im a terrible person#this got rambly#sorry
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Dumb bitches when someone makes content that doesn’t reflect their extremely individualized experience: THATS BAD!!! YOU CANT MAKE CONTENT LIKE THAT
Erm
Anyways joy and whimsy project your trauma onto characters as much as you want however you want. Yippee!
#alex talks#I fucking HATE shit like this#“well it doesn’t match MY SINGULAR EXPERIENCE so you can’t draw it like this#yeah fuck u bro#fandoms#fandom stuff#fandom#all the fandoms#anti censorship#yippee#joy and whimsy
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rough art tips to learn and then break at your leisure.
the distance between your eyes is roughly one eye. the corners of your mouth dont extend past the middle of each eye. ears are roughly in the middle of the tip of the nose and the eyebrow. the eyes are in the very centre of the head. the neck is just a Little slimmer than the width of the head (varies with fat distribution, but fat tends to build up under the chin). hair is easier to draw when you plot out the hairline and then where it parts. leaving appropriate distance on the side of the face (cheekbone area and back to ear) contributes to making characters look more realistic/hot as hell. i dont know specific tips for that so use reference. an amazing reference/study site is lineofaction.com . if you think of the face in planes it makes it easier to construct (look up tutorials). if you draw a spiral like a tornado it can help you figure out awkward perspective for extended limbs (look up foreshortening coil technique). tangent lines are when two lines intersect and cause visual confusion (when it looks like a line that defines an arm is part of the line that defines a building, for example) and avoiding them makes your art way easier to comprehend. quick trick to good composition: choose a focal point (where you want your viewer to focus), detail that area the most, and make sure various elements of the piece are pointing to that focal point. you can use colours to contrast hue, saturation, and brightness and make certain elements of your drawing stand out. drawing in greyscale can help you figure out values. using black in a piece isn't illegal but you should know what you're doing when you do use it- it desaturates a piece and if used as a shading colour can desaturate and dull whatever youre shading too. if you use almost-black lineart and then add black to darken the very darkest areas it will do a lot to add some nice depth. the tip of your thumb ends just above the start of your index finger- your thumb also has two knuckles and all your other fingers have three. if you see an artist doing something you like (the way they draw noses or eyes or hair or anything else) you can try to copy that and see if you want to incorporate it in your style <- this is ENCOURAGED and how a lot of us learned and developed our styles. there are ways to add wrinkles to faces and bodies without making the character look a million years old, you just have to keep experimenting with it. The smile wrinkles around your muzzle dont connect to your mouth or to your nose; there should be a small space in between smile or nose and the wrinkle line. eyes when viewed in profile are like < aka a little triangle shape. think of the pupil like a disk and apply foreshortening to it (it looks like a line when seen from the side instead of a full round dot). subtle gradients can add a LOT to a piece. texture can also add a LOT. look up Tommy Arnold's work (his murderbot pieces are some of my FAVOURITE) and zoom in. find those random little circles he added and try to figure out why he added them there. light bounces. there's lots of way light bounces. sometimes it even spreads through the skin. i do not know these light tricks yet but i want you to know that they exist. draw a circle to indicate hand placement, draw a straight line between that circle and the shoulder, and then (normally at a right angle) draw a straight line on top of that line to find the placement of the elbow. elbows are normally placed Just above the hip when standing and your arm is at rest. there are no bad colour combos if you're brave enough about it, just fuck with the saturation and brightness until it works. keep playing. try new things. add your own tips to this post if you want or even expand on some ive mentioned here. good luck go ham etc
#look at this post#the sum of almost all of my art knowledge#all that i can remember rn anyway lmaooo#shit i didn't mention the tips for backgrounds that i know#eh that's environment most of this deals with character work anyway#i learned most of this from tutorials and kind artists who like to talk about their work#i would not know NEARLY as much about creative shit as i do if it weren't for the people who were willing to talk about their skills#and their tricks and their observations. id be nothing without them i dont remember most of them but i am so so grateful for that kindness#so ig here ill spread that a little further#if you have any questions go ahead and ask i am a NERD about art okay i do not know everything but i am always willing to talk about what i#do know#art tips#one of the most important things for you to do as an experienced or beginner artist tho#is to PLAY#experiment#figure out what's fun and what looks nice and what looks nice faster and just. whatever the fuck you want to learn#it is SUCH a joy
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I'm living cute queer teenage experience vicariously through Heartstopper and you not allowed to judge me
#actually the first part of this season is hitting kinda close to home so fuck you for making me cry just on the SECOND episode how dare you#I want to feel queer joy for this fictional teenagers and I will#I didn't get to experience all this teenage bullshit thanks to depression and homophobia#so you have no idea how good this is to see something like this even just on the screen#I love everything about this season#like rn I think this is the best season so far#heartstopper season 3#charlie spring#nick nelson#nick and charlie#tao xu#elle argent#isaac henderson#tori spring#darcy olsson#tara jones#darcy and tara#heartstopper
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i would kill a family of 5 for another season of wildlife, it was beautiful it was great. i would harm so many innocents for just a miniscule amount of joy i got from watching that season. i pray to see the life series cast tweak out in such a bombastic way again
#trafficblr#wild life smp#wildlife#life series#i get that a lot of people really didnt like it#but the joy i get discovering the wild card#and seeing them react was just#so tasty to me#the screaming the yelling#the backstabbing the betrayal#all while playing superhero and getting chased by SNAILS#while being fucking antman live on camera#i would kill to experience that again#omg please grian put the guys in more situations#you do it like no other#grian the man you are#i thank you every day#never die king
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Lying in bed thinking about how Amaram took everything away from Kaladin, even his desire to feel he deserves to live a normal life. He can’t even fucking let himself go out with his own BRIDGE CREW!!!! 😭😭😭😭 STOP 🛑 OH MY GOD I NEED THIS ASSHOLE TO DIE IN THE WORST WAY!!!
#kaladin experiences a slight inconvenience:#me: THIS IS AMARAM'S FAULT!!!!#but unironically loool#LET👏🏼MY👏🏼BOY👏🏼EXPERIENCE👏🏼JOY👏🏼#I’m not gonna make it through this fucking series#steph reads wor#words of radiance#stormlight archive#cosmere#brandon sanderson
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if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.
here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.
so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.
it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.
#cadaver speaks#mostly prompted by me looking into godspousing after a very interesting experience#and seeing someone basically say most godspouses are experiencing spiritual psychosis#which read more to me as a complaint about how other people practice than actual concern for people's mental health#do i know whether i was visited by dionysus or just have silly silly brain chemicals? NOPE#and it's entirely fucking futile to try to figure it out because you can't prove any gods exist and i'm an unreliable narrator!#so i have to ask myself: what will make me happy?#should i deny myself the joy of worship just because i drew the short straw and got saddled with schizoaffective?#or should i say fuck it and do what will make me happy?#i want to live! i beg to live!! i am wrenching the fullness of my feeble human life from nonpsychotics' hands!!!#obligatory disclaimer that if you're psychotic/schizospec and you find the term spiritual psychosis useful that's fine#anyway. society will not be free until the lunatics are free from our chains and shackles. or something#mad pride#schizophrenia#schizoaffective#actually schizophrenic#actually schizoaffective#actually schizospec#spirituality#paganism#witchcraft#mental health#if anyone willfully misinterprets what i'm saying you owe me one thousand usd#if it doesn't make sense reread the post or move on. good Bye
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we just did our annual Halloween photoshoot with my girls today. He fully became our photographer and had fun with it. This man was filming with one camera, taking pictures with the other, giving posing ideas, everything! I love him so much 🫶🏻 never thought I'd find a partner who I'd be able to share this level of enthusiasm with about my "silly little projects". He's just in, in the same way that I'm in when he wants to do something creative, or wants to make something come to life, with his many many talents. He's beautiful and wonderful and I'm screaming crying throwing up! My gratitude is immeasurable.
#personal#velvet#this mutual enthusiasm is absolutely fucking crazy to experience#there are no words to express the joy
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4am slasher doodle to recover from the fact i spent 2 days hand sewing a shirt that i don’t even like the fit of HELP
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you can NOT tell but his necklace is made of teeth hehehe
whoever it was that reblogged the last drawing i did of him saying they thought he was cool and u dug through posts to find him……. you gave me a crazy case of the smiles lemme tell ya /vpos
oh how i would love to lore dump about him…. if he had any solid lore to dump about
#he has a lot of mental problems to dump about tho thats one thing!#more rambles in tags#as always#creepypasta oc#creepypasta oc art#artsona#sona art#artist sona#my sona#art#small artist#artists on tumblr#my artwork#sketch#he has a whole playlist…. should i drop#i really do need to put aside some time to JUST write out a solid backstory for him#especially in my more ‘serious’/non slendermansion au#which this is him in that btw#not that there’s much of a difference visually but in slendermansion he’s a lot less of a disaster lets put it that way#also guys does he look androgynous guys#he’s canonically major androgynous and i can only hope i get that point across when drawing the freak#anyway. i’d like to experiment more stylistically and sketchbooking is such a good way to do that#small art dump soon perhaps? perhaaapss😋#anyone who has ever enjoyed him ever i love yall /p#is he an edgy self insert creepypasta oc? hell yeah but he also means so much to me LMAO im delighted that people enjoy him :3#slasher fans reveal yourselves so i can give you all a goodie bag of joy and wonder and whimsy and all of you life dreams being achieved#sometimes i feel weird posting him sm bc im like the fine people of tumblr dont wanna see my little oc but then i remember its TUMBLR#and creepypasta ocs are fucking awesome idk why i beat myself up#and EVERY CREEPYPASTA IS AN OC i forget that means he is in fact canon#well. he will be. i WILL write him an actual story and then in my own personal mind he will be canon and real
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crying a little over this murdoc i scribbled last night FUCKIGN LOOK AT HIM
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ummm. my fic is done.
#I mean it still needs a bit of editing but like after almost four months#the hell (writing) is finally over#it's clocking in at around 61k words rn and im tired#time to relax ((cry))#actually you know what. fuck it I'm gonna overshare about this a bit.#I've never written fic before#and besides that - this is the first thing I've sat down to write seriously in about ten years#and ten years ago I was just writing poetry and papers for college#(I don't mean 'just' in a bad way - I only mean that it's been a very different experience for me personally)#very protective over this fic in that it's been sitting in my lap and in my brain for a few months and I don't want to give too much away#so I've deliberately been vague with the marketing of it. because I want people to read and be surprised and experience it firsthand.#and I know it's supposed to be self-indulgent and writing should be about the process and not the results but#I hope people read it??? I've poured my soul into this thing. a bit. a lot. and I'm a simple creature who craves validation.#it's very personal yet at the same time I feel like I haven't done anything new or groundbreaking which. okay it's self-doubt saturday so.#I should ignore that feeling. anyyyyyyyyway.#I hope to post the first chapter in two weeks. crossing my fingers that I don't abort mission before then aaaaaahahaha#also comparison is the thief of joy etc etc etc#danny.xls#danny writes
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