#this took me so long on mobile

[astrobei]

Do u have any byler fic recs? I’ve read all ur work and it’s wonderful!

hii omg thank u :’)) i’m going to try my hardest not to only list every single of my friends’ fics on here or ones that have been recc’d a million times even though they are all deserving of a million reads!!

you are sick (and you’re married) by @wiseatom: OK i said i wouldn’t list every one of my friends’ fics on here but thea’s modern coffee shop au immediately came to mind. everything she’s written has been so incredible but she characterizes will and max especially so well in this! delivering to us the cringefail will content we need for reallll <3 i am so in love with her writing and something about her style just makes so much sense. i tell her this every single day but it will never be enough, because her will is so precious to me and i need thea to quit her job and only write loser4loser byler for the rest of her life. read this! or else! (coffee shop au, modern setting, cringefail will byers tm)

king of my heart by @bookinit02: i had to restrict myself in choosing just one of haven’s fics for this list because i love her and i would put every one of her fics on every list ever if i could, but this fic. THIS FIC. listen. i don’t cry easily when reading fics but this one. i was reading it in the living room and my roommate came down and she said, “suni, are you okay?” and i said “yeah, why?” and she said, “oh, i thought you just got dumped or something :(“ and i didn’t know how to tell her that the reason i was eating ice cream out of the tub on the couch at midnight while crying quietly in my comfort hoodie and fuzzy socks was because of this fic. that’s all i have to say <3 (soulmate au, angst, fics that tear my heart out of my chest)

in from the snow by @parkitaco: every one of parker’s fics is near and dear to my heart, and i’ve gushed at them about it in their comments and inbox and asks but this was my most recent completed read and it has literally everything i could’ve asked for ! ice skating date! established byler! jewish byers!!! her characterization is incredible and her established byler is my favorite i’ve ever read EVER in my entire life ohhh my god. she has so many wonderful fics and i literally cannot choose a favorite because they’re all 10000/10s so do urself a favor and binge her entire collection of works if, for some reason, you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t done so yet :^) (winter fic, hannukah, established byler, mike wheeler’s pathetic inability to ice skate)

want for anything (and everything): the writing in this fic is so beautiful. like. i am a sucker for fluff yes but also i’m a sucker for fics that just rip my heart right out of my body with how well written they are. i was looking through my bookmarks for this list and i haven’t read this in a while but my bookmark notes said, and i quote, “EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SOOOOOOO!!!!!! IM AHSJDJDJDJSKSKKSKSKSKDKDJ” which sums it up perfectly in my opinion. post s3 mike and will figuring out their relationship and this author has such vice grip on me because i immediately binged the entire series too!! (six unrelated fics but each one of them are so. SO. GOOD!!) (this series has a whole bunch of premises so i’m just going to let u all figure that out for urself by making u read every single one of them. lol)

selfless; self destruct: i find myself coming back to this fic a lot because i have such a soft spot for will and mike finding each other again and repairing their relationship. the writing in this fic is so heartbreaking and the will pov in this was so spot on! they have a whole phone conversation about toast that just. it was so small and so simply and so raw and so THEM that i literally had to put my phone down. i’m sure i recommended this already but i can’t rec this fic enough !! (angst, post s4, reconnection)

hanging on the telephone by @elmaxed: lumi’s writing is just so. i don’t know how to explain it but the way they write is so soothing and easy and it conveys so much emotion with such simple dialogue and prose. everything lumi writes is s tier and this fic was no exception !! i Need more will and mike talking on the phone during the 6 months will was gone and it was really incredible reading this from mike pov. the characterization, the dialogue, mike’s struggle with his feelings for will vs what he should be feeling for will,, literally just the whole package. read it immediately if you haven’t !! (post s3, phone calls, mike wheeler’s ongoing homosexual crisis)

who you gonna call? (mike wheeler!) by @andiwriteordie: OK everyone and their mom has read andi’s fics because she’s famous and a legend and also one of my best friends (!) so it would be redundant for me to shake you by the shoulders and demand you read her fics but. this one is just so so special to me! like this one specifically. every one of her fics is incredible masterful beautiful but THIS ONE IS JUST SO!! i can’t explain why i come back to this fic so many times (other than the fact that it’s perfect). college byler where mike is an ra and will visits him, except they keep getting interrupted by the students on mike’s floor. ugh. perfect. holding it so close to my heart forever and ever <3 (college au, established byler, interruption trope x100)

bonus!! these fics aren’t byler but they are some of my all time favorites and i would shout their praise from the rooftops for all eternity if i could :^)

in the morning i’ll be better: jancy jancy jancy jancy jancy !!! stoprobbers on ao3 has some of the best, if not THE best jancy fics i’ve ever read! the characterization, the plot, the tenderness ☹️ jancy usually gets sidelined in byler fics so i eat up every single fic where they’re the main couple and this is everything i need from season 5. nancy’s talk with steve, reconnecting with jonathan, UGH. just. everything about this. (reconnection, jancy talking their issues through, nancy whooping steve’s ass for the six little nuggets monologue)

a life in your shape: if any of you are stoncy readers, this fic is the gift that keeps on giving. nancy and steve get engaged, and jonathan, their best friend, is,,, he’s dealing! i don’t read a lot of stoncy just because i feel like fics that are my style are few and far between, but for writing like this, i’d read any pairing the author wrote for. i have a sweet spot for this relationship and the way that the chemistry between all three of them is so palpable and balanced is so rare and beautiful to read! 36k of some of the best writing i’ve ever read i swear even if you’re not a big stoncy fan this fic might just convert u :^) (2/3 of an established relationship, 3 way pining, weddings)

november and july by @lookslikefireflies: this is such a wonderful max and will fic and probably the best max character study i’ve ever read. GOD the writing had me clutching at my heart in beautiful, glorious pain. just so many lines in this fic that i think about so much. takes place between s2 and s4 and just. i literally have no words. the way this author writes max is so so special to me, i want to put this prose in a mug and sip it on a cold day. the relationships between will and max and also max and mike and even though byler isn’t a focus of this fic, you can really see will’s struggle with his relationship with mike post s3 even though it’s not through his pov. i just come back to this fic a lot when i’m sad it’s so warm and gorgeous and just. ☹️☹️☹️ (max character study, angst, fics that make me curl up into a ball and weep)

i’m honestly not the best at fic recs because i keep forgetting to bookmark ones i like before i close the tab but i hope you enjoy these :^)

[hinakyuu]

"it's us against everyone" i would literally lay down my life for you two btw

matty + reino press con | scf game 3 (240613)

[tubeon]

This guy

[darling-stardust]

The little voice in Hermie’s mind spoke up again, and this time, there was nothing to distract him. He wasn’t ready to listen - but then again, he didn’t think he would ever be ready. As sunlight trickled in through Normal’s window and spilled across the floor like melted gold, he finally let himself think it: I am in love with Normal Oak. ...And I’m never going to tell him.

Have you read Cosmiado's fic as long as you're here i will live like this ?? Because I have and I had to do something about my feelings !!

[dogbunni]

shut up. saiki k tumblrverse

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😊justnormalguythings Follow

#I LOOKED IT UP AND 69% IS THE AVERAGE SCORE IM SO MAD

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🗿nenjoriki Follow

ii. Jsshj; nsjsks)hæj

💟yuri2k

go off king!!!

#nendo did u fall asleep scrolling tumblr again #<- last time he did that he reblogged the same post 27 times in a row <3 #one time he fell asleep scrolling tiktok and posted a clip of him snoring lmfaoooooooo #real life #not aesthetic #sorry y2k babes i'll reblog some cunty lil jpegs rn #i just have to clown on my irls i kno u all understand💅

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😻chiyobangs Follow

rah rah fax machine

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

aha i didnt know u were freakay like that 🫦

💟yuri2k

SHE MEANS LIKE THE HAIRCUT. BANGS!!!!!! LIKE THE HAIR ON UR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U DIPSHIT!!!!!!! KILLS U WITH MY EYES 💣💣💣

#stop being a pervert challenge: impossible #also omg chiyopipi!! i didn't know u had a blog #hiiiiiiiiiii 💗💘✨🍰🌸💐💖🥰🌷🌺🍒🍡👛🩷🍧🧋🔮🦄🌟🪷💗💫⭐ #dont listen to him he was cursed w no rizz

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📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r reblogged

😻chiyobangs Follow

rah rah fax machine

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

aha i didnt know u were freakay like that 🫦

#girl i'll fax on ur machine til u rah

6 notes

😐tanaka489

what the fuck is human pet guy

1 note

🍤shrimptextures

fukc it.i ccant stop thinking abt that one blog. normalguy. do u think he jnows abt human pet guy

#maybei am hsving a bental makebown

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🗿nenjoriki Follow

chair -> 💺

50,021 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

🎤urinarytractinjection Follow

toumatome -> urinarytractinjection

Fear not friends, for I have only changed my URL. I remain the same [FULL LEGAL NAME REDACTED FOR INTERNET PRIVACY AND SAFETY REASONS, AS ALL TUMBLR USERS SHOULD DO, IN CASE OF DOXXING, PHISHING, BLACKMAILING, CYBERBULLYING, STALKING, ETC. CRIMES IN WHICH YOUR INDENTITY COULD BE DISCOVERED AND USED AGAINST YOU] that you have all known and come to love. For reasons undisclosed I will not be taking suggestions or criticism re. my new URL at this time. As always my ask box remains open (anon is always on, anonymous yappers- I desire you carnally) I will begin answering some of the backlog shortly ÒvÓ

Read more

💟yuri2k

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS URL

#SAY SIKE RN

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😊justnormalguythings Follow because you follow #normcore

#normalcore #normal #oranges #normcore #justnormalguythings

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☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

‼️⚠️HELP⚠️‼️

do3s 4ny1 kno a GOOD 4rtist who tak3s oc commissionz??? i w4nt 4rt of my orv oc plzzzzzzzzz

💟yuri2k

i think @merartist is taking comms!!

#get that bag girl!! #not aesthetic #real life

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💸thericherelonmusk reblogged underagegunshot

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

my oc cld probz take yjh in a 1v1

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

what if i killed you dead

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

L copypasta

🐉dragons-locator Follow

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

dragons

DRAGONS LOCATED

#once again thinking about how much money I could make if I had Father copyright this copypasta #follow for more unethical capital gains pro tips #also I don't go here but ORV fandom seems uncouth and rabid #when I buy tumblr I'm banning these two specifically

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💟yuri2k

🎀dump him moodboard🎀

for anon <3

#omg an actual y2k post who is she!! #this ones for the girlies #kiss me instead #<- who said that #y2k #y2k aesthetic #y2kcore #y2k moodboard

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🍤shrimptextures

I AM NOT HAVING A FUCKING BREAKDOWN

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💟yuri2k reblogged

🌸perfectprettyplease

.

💟yuri2k

dm me babe 💕

#real life #not aesthetic

3,209 notes

🌸perfectprettyplease

.

#oomf is having a breakdown about a random blog?? #idk it's just a normal blog #they make relatable captions with stock images #worried about oomf :( #what do i do? #how do i reach out without sounding rude </3 #i just think someone should check on them #pppposts

3,209 notes

🍤shrimptextures

ORANGES?????????????? FUCKING ORANGES?????

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😊justnormalguythings Follow

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

SAIKI??????!?!??

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🗿nenjoriki Follow

Hi

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

Hi

💟yuri2k

hi!!!

🎤urinarytractinjection Follow

Hello fellow tumblr user and real life acquaintance :3

🍎merartist Follow

Hi

🌸perfectprettyplease

Hi!

😻chiyobangs Follow

Hi

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

hi

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

Hi

💸thericherelonmusk

Hi

💰fivefingerdiscount Follow

Hi

😐tanaka489

Hi

Hi

[braxiatel]

You have to admit the greying is hot as hell I can't be the only one attracted to it

i would never say anything to the contrary. In fact, as much as i love seeing Mumbo designs with a few silver stripes? I reeaaallly hope he adds more grey to it I want to see some proper salt and pepper Mumbos.

The man is already a dad, it's time he starts looking the part. That's right, I'm saying what we've all been thinking: they should make that cubito a DILF- [Grian Minecraft breaks down my front door and strangles me with the coord of keyboard for the wordcrimes i have committed]

[spicyvampire]

Goodbye MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (2023) : What if Gaipa and Wen were tumblr besties [insp. x x x]

[onegroovyrose]

Akira if you don’t hold on you’re going to fall off!! 😋

[sharenalovemail]

[A transcription of all the text from the images will be under the cut at the end of this post]

It's been a while, but it's finally here! #SharenaWeek will be real (or i'll die trying)

After some back and forth, we settled on June for this event - giving us nearly two months to work with as of posting this!

If you have any questions about anything in this post feel free to send an ask here or to @sharenaweek ! (For example if you need a prompt explained, or if I missed something)

#SharenaWeek / #SharenaWeek2024 will be held from June 9th 2024 to June 15th of the same year

RULES

Make sure to use the #SharenaWeek and/or ⁠⁠#SharenaWeek2024 tags when you post your work.

You can also @ either this blog (@sharenalovemail) or the one made especially for this event (@sharenaweek) or even both if you wish so. Tagged posts will be shared on both blogs, but the one dedicated to the event will work best as an archive!

While the main event will be during the week of June 9th to June 15th 2024, you can take as long as you need and post late if needed. Just make sure to follow the above two rules so we can find them and share them then!

You don't have to post for every day if you can't — remember that this event is first and foremost to have fun.

Anyone can participate! Any and all posts are welcomed: fanfiction, drawing, painting, sprite editing, poetry, headcanon/analysis posts, AMVs — literally anything, as long as you made it (or commissioned it, if that's the case) counts!

Prompts can be interpreted in any way you want.

Have fun, and remember to tag your works accordingly, especially if they feature NSFW content (gore, nudity, etc) or heavy topics (remember to not censor your tags, otherwise people who don't want to see that content won't be able to avoid it!).

PROMPTS

(6/09) Day 1: Past and Future

(Childhood memories, time post wars - anything before and after FE:H)

(6/10) Day 2: Resplendent

(Design a new Alt for her - be it an existing banner or a new theme!)

(6/11) Day 3: Celebration

(Outfits, Scenes, Dialogue - anything you love most about her!)

(6/12) Day 4: Forging Bonds

(Relationships - familial, platonic, romantic, any kind!)

(6/13) Day 5: Change of Fate

(AUs, her situation with Peony, crossovers - you name it!)

(6/14) Day 6: Meet The Heroes

(Sharena's goal is to befriend all of the Heroes - help her do it!)

(6/15) Day 7: Free Day

(Anything goes - including repeats of above prompts!)

EXTRA PROMPTS

You can use as many or as little of these as you want, either to replace the main 7 prompts or to add to them!

One Word Prompts:

Nature

Fairies

Family

Summer

Birthday

Surprise

Picnic

Flowers

Yearning

Hugs/Cuddles

Outfit Prompts:

Brave Alt

Attuned Alt

Modern

Fancy

Frilly

Winter

Beach

Cosplay/Costume

Party

Sleepwear

Alternate Universes:

Modern Setting

High School/College/University

Character Swap

Cyberpunk

Book/Realm Swap

Animals

Actors

Reincarnation

Daemons

Dungeons & Dragons

[thomrainierskies]

that savory oatmeal sounds so damn good and im heartbroken that i dont have all the ingredients on hand right now!!!

my friend it is so fucking good, i will never go back to sweet oatmeal. the only reason i've been eating oatmeal at all is because 1. i need to eat the exact same minimal-effort breakfast every day or else i wont eat a meal until i get home and 2. it used to be an everything bagel with cream cheese until i lost a massive crown in one two months ago and the trauma of that gave me an aversion to it. this oatmeal fulfills both of those requirements.

that's just the basic recipe i use, there are more that i've never tried that use miso paste and mushrooms and spinach and shit. you can find more on google or pinterest but every single recipe starts with three paragraphs of the author being astounded that something as BIZARRE and EXPERIMENTAL as savory oatmeal could exist. who could think of such a thing!!!!!

i also make mine on the stovetop because no matter what i do my oatmeal will explode in the microwave.

my recipe:

1 cup liquid (could use 1/4 cup chicken broth to 3/4 cup water or 1/2 cup broth to 1/2 cup water)

1/2 cup steel-cut oats

salt, pepper, & garlic powder to taste

~2tbsp cheddar cheese

1 egg

1-2 chopped green onions

instructions:

measure the broth and water and add to a small saucepan. bring to a boil. once boiling, add the oats. add salt, pepper, and garlic powder. stir constantly for ~5 minutes or according to oats' packaging.

when the oatmeal is nearly done, fry the egg. add salt and pepper.

when the oatmeal's done, add to a bowl. add the cheese, then the egg. top with chopped green onions.

then fill the oatmeal saucepan with water right away otherwise cleaning it will be a nightmare.

enjoy and tell your friends

[fungh0u1]

speed it down and slow it up in the backseat

[punkflower11]

Choose Your Own Adventure: Miles Morales - Part 5

Prev | Masterlist

————

Okay, time to diffuse this conversation.

"Tell me what? That his own father works for a fascist and oppressive organization intent on undermining a government of the people? Right, screw this. Sorry Miles, but I think I'm done 'ere."

He needed to do something and fast. By now, Miles definitely should have learned not to act upon the first idea that his mind supplies him with but apparently the universe thought that it was too out of character for him, so.

"You know, that's big talk coming from someone who looks like they'd tear apart the government themselves."

He could grab Hobie and kiss him. That... was certainly an idea. An idea that Miles would not be opposed to he thought, looking approvingly at Hobie's lips.

Ah, shit.

It was happening again.

What if he started choking? The absurdity of the notion slaps Miles across the face. Choosing to ignore how the fuck that idea spawned into his brain, Miles quickly decides that it would probably be the less stupid of the two ideas, given the circumstance.

(Not that it was the one that he preferred, of course.)

"Mate, you are literally proving my point by profiling me. That's exactly what officers like you are doing!"

Miles let out a singular, pathetic wheeze. It was the least convincing choking noise he had never heard, and definitely not enough to tear attention away from the conversation. Louder, Morales.

"'Officers like me?' Son, I don't think that I'm the one doing the profiling here-" the cop was cut off by a harsh cough to his left. Several pairs of eyes snapped in Miles direction.

Not that loud!

Seeing as he already had everyone's attention, he figured that may as well commit to the bit and continues hacking.

"Miles?"

"What's wrong with him?" Jeff asks, genuinely confused. Rio looks at him, incredulous.

"We call it 'coughing'," Hobie deadpans. Jefferson glares right back.

"Oh really? I had no idea."

"Hush. I think he might be choking on something." Rio observes. Miles begins another round of intense coughing. That's it, he thinks. Oh no, I'm dying! Be worried, pay attention to me and forget your quarrels!

Miraculously, it seems works as the arguing ceases and everyone grows concerned.

"Baby hold on- Does anyone know CPR?"

"Don't look at me." Jefferson tells her.

"'Punch to the gut 'll prob'ly help up," Hobie suggests.

What.

"What? No! In what way will winding him will help?" Yes, Thank you sane and reasonable person.

"Dunno, innit supposed to 'elp stun 'is diagram or somethin'?"

"What do you mean- that's exactly-"

"How on God's green Earth did you manage to pass Biology? Did you even pass Biology?"

"Guys, really not the time." Miles rasps. The three watched as Miles continues to figuratively cough up his soul, no doubt tainted by weeks of endless deceit.

The thing is that it wasn't even good deception. If Miles wasn't already cursed for lying then bad acting was definitely a runner-up.

"We should punch him." Please don't.

"Try it and see what happens."

"Miles, hold on-"

“You know what, I think I'm actually starting to feel a little better now, so y-” Oh no.

That's when Miles actually begins to choke.

It's kind of hilarious. What moron thinks he can fool his family by pretending to choke, and then in the process actually starts choking? Miles wants to scoff at the comical misfortune, but can't because at the moment is busy coughing up his own lungs.

Miles feels a hand begin rub circles his around back. Tearing his gaze from the table to find the owner of the arm, his eyes find Hobie. At this Miles dies a little on the inside, dumbstruck by Hobie's touch. He tries not to overthink it. Tries.

Fortunately, his coughing begins to tapper off shortly after downing two glasses of water (his own and Hobie's). Never doing that again, he promises himself, clearing his throat.

"You police and all ya shady tactics." Hobie scoffs. 'Wanna help people.' What a load of bull."

Miles was about to pound his boyfriend's head in for cursing but decided to let it slide as his voice was a bit sore.

"I'm shady?" Jefferson reeled, incredulous. "Alright then, I'd like to know what you were doing with Miles all that time he was at your house." Oh shit. They did not prepare for this.

"Well we- uh, ahem. That's nunya effin' business. As if I would sell Miles out to a copper."

"Well as a 'copper' and his father I'm the best person he could trust." Yikes. This was not a road Miles wanted to go down tonight.

"And I’m asking you to for once get your head out of your arse- er, assets, and try see it from his perspective!”

"This is who you’re dating? Really, Miles? This guy.” Jefferson asks Miles. "I’m just gonna say it. I don’t like him."

"Funny, because I don't remember asking you to." Miles replies, irritated. He isn't sure why, but this tips him the wrong way.

"Miles," Rio warns.

"I’m sorry but no, actually. You asked to meet him and here he is. Why do you have to like him? I do, and really, that should be enough. All I've asked you to do is sit at the same table with him for ten minutes and not kill each other, which for some reason is proving to be a difficult task."

Honestly so what if his parents didn’t like everything about Hobie. Did it really matter if they didn’t approve of his clothes, attitude or opinions so long as Miles was cool with it? In the end he was the one dating the teen, not his parents.

“He is an anarchist-”

"He's also my boyfriend, who clearly happens to care about me. Didn't you tell me to watch out for people who have my back? Guess what; Hobie has my back. Even when you can't." He knows it’s cruel, but it doesn’t stop him.

Underneath the table Hobie intertwines his fingers with Miles’ and gives the hold an encouraging squeeze. Miles continues.

"I'm not asking you to love him. I mean, I would appreciate it, but just getting along would more than enough."

Surprisingly, this seems to silence any remaining disputes. Reluctantly, both Hobie and his Dad turn their attention back to the once abandoned meals.

The stillness is stiff and uncomfortable, which Miles knows he’s likely responsible for.

Miles hates how much of this he has to fight tooth and nail for. And how in the end it wasn't going to matter as he and Hobie weren't even seeing each other in the first place.

If a little part of Miles was somewhat hoping that the whole experience could bring two together, it had proved to be a dumb idea. He wasn't exactly sure why he thought it would work, as fake dating was always recipe doomed to fail spectacularly. Which was fair, as deception hadn't done much for him anyways.

Oh well. Guess you can't lie your way into happy parents and a free boyfriend. It was really too bad.

"I know that it's probably impossible for just one cop to change a system. In fact, sometimes I think I might be contributing to it, doing more harm than good." Jefferson eventually says. "But damn if I won't try anyways."

Miles is left stunned. His eyes follow Hobie who seems to be having a similar reaction to the words. What shocks him even more is the admiration he finds twinkling in the teen's eyes.

"I... actually respect that. A lot."

"You're a little odd, but I think I understand where you're coming from. Miles seems to like you, so you must be alright." Rio adds.

"Yeah. Even if you still look like vandalism and bad ideas." the officer chuckles. Hobie grins mischievously.

"Guilty."

"And you're grades are alright?"

"Dad."

"My grades are brilliant." Funny enough, this was actually true.

"I had to ask."

"You really didn't."

"They had better be for all that silver crap you wear." Jefferson then says to Hobie, much to Miles' mortification. Thankfully, Hobie's response to this is to laugh.

"S'what Abe said too."

"He sounds like a smart guy."

"He wishes." Hobie snorts.

"That your brother?"

"Unfortunately."

"I had a brother." the elder takes a sip from his glass.

"I heard. Sorry 'bout that one." Jefferson smiles, bittersweet.

"All good. Just gotta keep pushin' you know?"

"Yeah."

The four continued to converse throughout the evening, managing to steer clear of any more hiccups. Rio and Hobie engage in a light debate over whether Elvis Presley was really an icon or a fraud, and later, Hobie shares his love of 'expressive art' with Miles' parents.

("I even did this piece on the B's bridge last week," Jefferson chokes on his water.

"Wait, that was you?")

Eventually the dishes were scrubbed clean after Rio's insistence that everyone take a fifth serving (Hobie somehow able to eat more meanwhile Miles was on the verge of combustion) when Miles decided to take the opportunity and excuse the two from the table.

"If you don’t mind, Hobie and I are gonna tap out now." He says, arising from the station. Miles looks to the other and smiles tellingly.

"My room?" Hobie chirps a 'sure' and gets up, following Miles down the corridor.

"Remember to leave the door open!" he hears Rio call from behind him.

"Right." He was not doing that.

Sliding down the corridor with help from his socks, Hobie purposefully slams into Miles. The two stumble forward, awkwardly catching each other all whilst failing to stifle their laughter.

"You boys better be behaving yourselves!" A voice sounds from the kitchen.

Miles stills and gives Hobie a pointed look, grabbing the other by his hand. Hobie fastens the grip and doesn't let go. Instead, he pulls Miles in closer and playfully presses a kiss to his forehead.

"For performance points," Bastard. Heart pounding in his ears, Miles half-hardheartedly rolls his eyes before pushing open the door to his bedroom. Hobie wastes no time in collapsing onto Miles' bed as the door swings closed behind them. Draping himself over his desk chair, Miles sighs a breath of relief.

"We actually pulled that off. Huh."

"I can hardly believe it myself."

"I guess fake dating really does work."

"Careful, you don’t want to jinx it." Miles jokes.

He watches Hobie's gaze thoughtfully trail around his room from his posters, to figurines and art supplies. In a way, having Hobie in his room felt like opening him up an intimate part of Miles' life. Encompassed around his own personal space, filled to the brim with personality and expression. The last non-relative person to visit his room had been Gwen, who, at the time Miles had also low key had a thing for-

-and why exactly was he drawing parallels between people he liked visiting his room-

-honestly it was almost like he enjoyed setting himself up for disaster but-

"Did your mom actually play trombone in high school?" Hobie asks suddenly, fishing Miles from out of his spiral.

"Yup. She’s really proud of it."

"I liked her. Concise." Hobie chuckles.

"Well she hasn’t expressly forbid me from seeing you yet so I’d say that’s a good sign." He says, thoughtful.

"And Jefferson?" Miles winces.

"He doesn't hate you. Dislike certainty, but I think he respects you."

"'e’s not too terrible himself." Hobie shrugs.

"Glad you think so." Miles says dryly.

"But we aren't dating," Hobie points out.

So it doesn't matter anyways.

Miles frowns.

"Guess not." Hobie cocks his head to the right.

"You sound bummed."

"I mean, a little." Miles stiffens.

Did he really just say that?

Out loud?

Goddammit Morales.

"Could have been fun." he hastily adds.

"The food was good," Fortunately Hobie doesn't seem to catch on to the slip up.

"Aye. Shame I can’t eat like that every night." Hobie pokes fun.

Well.

Technically,

"You’re always welcome back, you know. I’m sure my mom would be ecstatic to have you." Miles pokes fun.

"As your…?"

"Which ever. Friend. Boyfriend." Hopefully both. "Just show up as yourself, whoever that is."

"Cool. I uh, should probably head out now."

"Right. Want me to show you out?"

"Out your window?" He asks, confused. Right. Because leaving through the front door is apparently a foreign concept.

"Never mind. So, see you in a bit?" Miles watches as Hobie slides open the unlocked window.

"Sure thing babe." Hobie says whilst climbing out of the room.

What if.

The idea grabs and shakes him by the shoulders, but once it pops up it's definitely there.

Technically, nothing was stopping Miles from asking Hobie out right now. Except for the fact that, well, it was crazy.

It wasn't even a question of whether he liked him or not. Frankly, It was so painfully obvious that it was a good thing his parents thought that they were already dating.

Plus, was it really okay to ask the universe for more? Because, really, it had already been a miracle that tonight had turned out okay. The chance that he could monumentally fuck things up between them were so high on the scale that it should have scared him into going back to chasing Gwen.

But they didn't.

Wait, Miles was getting ahead of himself here. Did Hobie even like him back? Even reading into it was difficult. Additionally, Miles knew that Hobie was a flirt. While it was nice to think that the gestures were sweet, in reality they were probably meaningless. Ouch.

Then again, what was the worst that could happen? It wasn't like Miles was expecting him to say yes anyways. At least this way he'll always know that he tried, and that for sure that nothing was ever there.

"Hobie wait," He blurts out before he's finished weighing the pros and cons.

"Yeah?" Hobie waits, one foot out the window. Miles inhales sharply.

Was this it?

Now or never.

massive shout out to my beta beloved @ihrtwillow for helping with me out with that ending. yeesh.

[of-the-eventide]

📂 📂

So I just watched a friend play Stormblood the other day and I thought it would be HILARIOUS if I had a headcannon that Ito lost one of their breast from a fishing accident and the the other from the Zenos raid in Rhalgr's Reach. Free top surgery from your greatest friend-enemy.

[texts-from-3h]

[weirdrtvscomments]

[coridallasmultipass]

brocal for the ship bingo?

The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)

Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.

Read More to save ppl's dashboards:

I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore

((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))

Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.

Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.

EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:

"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"

Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))

They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.

Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]

I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.

Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?

Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)

They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.

'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i

To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.

So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)

Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]

Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who

Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.

Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))

Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.

The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]

Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?

Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.

Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.

Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.

[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]

Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.

One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.