#this took me almost a week to do wtf

[shirine0]

dont make me hurt you

[joshuamj]

can college just like, pause for a moment. I wanna catch up on linktober :(

[captainreecejames]

Down Bad || My Ex is a Footballer OP81 Edition

links [masterlist][my ex series masterlist]

summary it's time you date someone actually your age

pairings ex!andy robertson x reader, oscar piastri x reader

warnings not a good relationship with robertson, cursing

notes guys I'm not a liverpool fan so this was hard for me [kidding]. this took so long because I had trouble getting the dynamic right also I got a new job and working two places has not been easy but I gotta make money in this world.

yn's message august 2022 ---------

ynusername posted august 2022 --------

liked by estebanocon, andyrobertson94 and others

ynusername it's race week again yay!!! But I can't be with my boyfriend booooo

load more comments

username1 girl drop him!!!

username2 no boooo actually yayyy!!!

username3 shame she can't be with andy for the start of the season ↳ username4 girl be serious, season started almost a month ago and she was at every home game ↳ username5 yn is a diehard liverpool fan don't worry she was supporting her man

andyrobertson94 gonna miss you babe! ↳ ynusername miss you more!

alo_oficial excited !! 🩷

username6 yn I mean this in the nicest way possible, he's too old for you and he's not good

ynusername posted december 2022 -----

liked by oscarpiastri, alpinef1team and others

ynusername 22 season recap! Thank you so much to Alpine for bringing me into the world of f1 and introducing me to some amazing people, I will always be grateful for the chance you took on me and have love in my heart for you! Now on to being at anfield 24/7 to support my man!!!

load more comments

username11 ahhhhh oscar!! I' m fine everything is fine

oscarpiastri have a good break yn! ↳ ynusername you too ossie!

username12 ossie??! i'm screaming i love it already. alpine why did you have to break up my bestfriends that i didn't know were best friends?

estebanocon gonna miss having you around yn! ↳ ynusername oh estie! i'll see you around don't worry.

username13 why the fuck is Andy not commenting? ↳ username14 cause he's a little bitch 👍🏼 ↳ username13 oop

alpinef1team we love you yn! ↳ ynusername gonna miss you babe

username15 damn Andy finally got what he wanted and won't even congratulate her on doing this job ↳ username16 I'm new here, what did Andy want? ↳ username15 he has publicly wanted yn to not work and basically be a housewife, also he's like almost 10 years older than her so it's like weird he wants her to be a kept woman

liverpoolfc we're ready for you! ♥️ by ynusername

yn's messages --------

twitter february 2023 --------

ynusername posted august 2023 -----

liked by landonorris, lance_stroll and others

ynusername first half of the season done with my boss featuring ossie when he sees me sneak into the mclaren garage

oscarpiastri that's literally a lie I don't look like that when you come in ↳ ynusername then why do I have a picture of you looking like that??? ↳ landonorris gonna back him up on this one he does NOT look like this when he sees you ↳ username21 WHAT DO YOU KNW LANDO AHARE WITH THE CLASS

username22 guys not to be dramatic but there's been no Liverpool mention in months, I think she broke up with andy ↳ username23 DONR GET ME EXCITED

ynusername posted december 2023 --------

liked by carmenmmundt, georgerussell63 and others

ynusername sad that the season is over but happy I get a short break from being a full time Alonso Wrangler and part time student. Also lance is sad he hasn't been in a season photo dump so here have this

carmenmmundt 🩶🩶

lance_stroll wtf? ↳ ynusername 🫶🏼 ↳ lance_stroll I sent that to mari ↳ ynusername and she sent it to me ↳ mariloublg_ and I'd do it again ↳ lance_stroll DONT GANG UP ON ME

username34 TWO(2) OSCAR PICTURES? we're winning oscaryn truthers ↳ username35 we need him in the first picture now, no swiping is the next goal

username36 wait, yn are you in classes right now? ↳ ynusername I'm taking 2 classes right now remotely for my masters! ↳ username36 OMG you go girl! ↳ ynusername thanks babe

february 2024

landonorris posted on his story

replies to your story

oscarpiastri delete this

landonorris HAHAHAH

alo_oficial working on getting her to realize

landonorris they are both so dumb

mclaren get a picture together

landonorris you got it boss 🫡

username36 IT'S YN RIGHT! TELL ME IT'S YN LN

ynusername posted march 2024

liked by astonmartinf1, oscarpiastri and others

ynusername and we're back!!! Starting off with some helmet swaps and getting papa stroll a debut on the page

landonorris damn papa stroll gets a pic before me?? ↳ lance_stroll it took me a year to get a debut and even then it was a shit one so shut up ↳ georgerussell63 haha you guys suck ↳ ynusername it's cause Carmen bribed me ↳ lance_stroll and mari didn't? ↳ ynusername she did, that picture is what she wanted ↳ landonorris so what youre saying is I need a gf to bribe you ↳ oscarpiastri damn guess youre never getting your debut on this page ↳ landonorris and how the fuck did you get here???

username41 where's that girl that wanted oscar on the first slide? ↳ username35 RIGHT HERE AND I'M THRIVING

lance_stroll also landonorris that's mr. stroll to you ↳ landonorris okay...

ynusername posted july 2024

liked by landonorris, alo_oficial and others

ynusername oscar i don't have the words to describe how proud i am of you right now but just know that I always believed in you and always will

username51 ughhhh, when will it be my turn

username52 OSCAR WIN SO YN POSTS JUST OSCAR YES

username53 username35 aRE YOU OKAY GIRL? ↳ username35 NO I'M NOT

username35 JUST OSCAR IN EVERY PIC??? AND HE'S CLEARLY LOOKING AT YN? IS THIS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?

username54 the way oscar was looking for her >>>

alo_oficial congratulations oscar! ↳ oscarpiastri thank you nando

oscarpiastri thank you yn, you're support means everything to me

username55 no offense but I was kinda expecting more from you here ↳ username35 you want her to confess her undying love for oscar here on a social media post? you want her to do it on the internet instead of just to him privately so you can consume media and be in the presence of a relationship that you clearly have no respect for nor no need to be apart of because they don't know you?? that's what you want? be fucking for real ♥️ by mariloublg_ ↳ username55 first of all you also have a parasocial relationship with them, second of all, it's not weird for me to want her to express more about this when his team was shit to him ↳ username35 i can be excited about her posting him and still fucking respect their privacy. they don't need to post anything for us and it is a PRIVILEDGE that we get to see this. if you make it weird for them and ruin their PRIVATE relationship because you personally think she should be more vocal on social media then maybe you need to do some reflection on how you interact with people

ynusername posted august 2024

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and others

ynusername summer break is over, now I go back to being a student

load more comments

landonorris yay i can have my osc back ↳ ynusername uhhh... no, you can borrow MY ossie ↳ landonorris agree to disagree ↳ oscarpiastri don't I get a say in this? ↳ ynusername depends ↳ oscarpiastri well i pick you yn ↳ ynusername then yes you get a say

lance_stroll it's about damn time ↳ estebanocon SAYS YOU ↳ alo_oficial none of you have spent as much time with her as I have! I'm the only one that get's to complain ↳ ynusername I was not that bad ↳ alo_oficial yes you were ↳ estebanocon yes you were ↳ lance_stroll yes you were ↳ pierregasly yes you were

oscarpiastri haha babe you have a crush on me? ↳ charles_leclerc you were just as bad ↳ landonorris what he said ↳ oscarpistri damn okay

username35 ahhhh!!! congrats yn and oscar ↳ ynusername thank you! and we both appreciate you being so supportive

username63 see everyone, it pays to be a decent human being! ^^

[reiding-writing]

could you pretty please write something where spencer visits unsub!reader and she’s incredibly beat up and only responding in slurs and spencer’s like wtf why has no one taken her to the doctor

THE GUARDS’ HEAVY HANDS

spencer & gn!unsub!reader | 1.3k | unsub!reader masterlist.

main masterlist.

a/n— unsub!reader is in remission babyyy

WARNINGS | reader has been on the receiving end of physical violence from prison guards without medical treatment.

Four days until the board of appeals made their decision.

Four days until you would know if you truly were going to spend the rest of your life inside a concrete box or be moved to a psychiatric facility and have your psychology picked and prodded at by doctors.

You’ve been ‘visited’ almost every day over the last week, half of your singular recreational hour spent talking to some stupid appeal board official every day for the last multiple days.

You were sick of it.

You knew that they were only bothering you in the hope you’d crack, that you’d say something that could condemn you to your solitary hell and save them the effort and money in placing you in proper psychiatric care.

But you refused to placate them. You refused to let your seething frustration manifest verbally or physically, no matter how much you wanted to.

Four days. That’s all you had to last.

They weren’t making it easy though. Of course they weren’t. Because why would anything in your life ever be easy?

No. Instead you were questioned on the same mundane topics over and over by the officials, dragged harshly from meeting to meeting by the guards, and subjected to torment whenever there was a minuscule break in the monotony.

Your most recent ‘accident’ involved one of the guards shutting the food hatch whilst you still had your hand in it.

‘Accident’, because it definitely wasn’t one, and now you were dealing with a fractured index finger on top of all of the other shit that is making you want to rip your hair out.

Although you couldn��t do that either, considering you had a sizeable bruise spreading over your left temple and onto the side of your head after you’d been pushed straight into one of the phone boxes as an encouragement for you to pick it up.

It was bordering a black eye a few days ago, a mulled purple mark that stretched through your eyebrow and mottled your eyelid, but it was slowly turning green, and it’d stopped hurting now. For the most part anyway.

No use crying over spilt milk. Or a possible concussion.

There’s a sharp bang on your cell door from the side of a fist to garner your attention, along with the grating metal on metal sound as the food hatch slides open.

“Up you get freak, you’ve got a visitor.”

Another stupid visitor.

Another half an hour spend enduring the most relentlessly idiotic questions and torment of your life that you literally had to bite your tongue to stop yourself replying to and dumping all of your progress down the drain.

“Oi!” Another sharp bang. “Didn’t you hear me? Get your ass up!”

“I’m coming—” You bite back the groan that threatens to echo in your tone, muttering a curse under your breath as you’re all but dragged from your cell and thrust down the corridor into the visitor’s room.

Every minute you spent sat at that stupid concrete table in those stupid handcuffs that were way too tight made you want to rip your own hair out, or anyone’s in a five metre radius.

Four days. Then you could forget about this damn appeal and give your ‘handlers’ a piece of your goddamn mind.

And then the door opens.

“Doctor Reid,” You almost sound surprised as you pick up the visitor’s phone. “What brings you here?”

Spencer adjusted his satchel, his gaze fixed on the table where you sat, hands cuffed, a rough bruise blooming along your cheekbone. There was a fresh cut on your lip, a bit of dried blood near the corner of your mouth. The sight made his stomach twist.

He sat down slowly, his brow knitting with concern as he took in the other injuries: your knuckles scraped raw, the angry red welts visible just beneath the collar of your prison jumpsuit.

He was used to violence, certainly, but seeing it on you, someone he considered something close to a… friend, or whatever it was, made him tense with anger.

You didn’t look at him any differently despite it all. When he met your gaze, your expression was flat. Detached, indifferent. He could still tell you’d been through hell though, and as much as he hated it, he hated it. "What happened?" he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, you just blinked, and then that small sliver of intrigue disappears from your irises to be replaced with distaste.

You scoffed, muttering something under your breath that he couldn’t quite make out. It sounded like you were slurring, words broken, as if the energy it took to have a full conversation was almost too much.

Spencer leaned his elbows onto the table, his heart hammering. "Did they hurt you?" he asked. "The guards… have they been—?"

You interrupted with a barely audible sneer, tossing out a curse that barely registered as coherent. A string of profanity. You spat them out, each word slower and more incoherent than the last.

"Is anyone taking care of you here? Any doctors?" Reid asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

You laughed, a hollow sound that sent chills down his spine. "Doctors," you scoffed. "Sure. Lots of those. Right after the love they give with their fists."

Spencer's jaw clenched. "Has anyone done anything about this? Filed a complaint?"

Another empty laugh. “Who’s going to report them, huh? Me?” you muttered, the words broken by gasps of pain. “And who’s gonna do anything about it?”

The part of Spencer that had learned to remain neutral, clinical, started to unravel. This was wrong. Whatever you had done in your past, this treatment wasn’t justice; it was plain cruelty.

He glanced back toward the door, contemplating the confrontation he wanted to have with the prison staff. But he knew what would happen—they’d brush it off, say you were exaggerating, a troublemaker who’d gotten what you deserved. And maybe they’d even be right… but he couldn’t ignore the bruises, the hollow look in your eyes.

Spencer reached across the table, his fingers brushing the cold plexiglass between you in what’s an almost subconscious want to wipe the blood stain from your mouth. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll try to get someone to check on you.”

You met his eyes again, expression clouded. He could see that behind the apathy, some tiny part of you was surprised. Maybe even grateful.

“Why do you even care?”

Spencer swallowed, the weight of the question settling over him. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, his voice tinged with sadness. “But I do.”

You watched him in silence, as if searching his face for a reason, an answer he couldn’t give. Then, a flicker of something softened your gaze—just for a moment, like the smallest fracture in a stone wall. You’d probably deny it later, but he saw it. A spark of relief, of trust, maybe.

He didn’t know if he’d ever get through to you, not completely. But he could try. And that would be enough.

“So, uh,” Spencer fiddles with the phone cord between his fingers. “How are you feeling, about the appeal?”

And you deflate all over again.

[cokou]

What OP Men post about you on Reddit

OP 男性があなたについて Reddit に投稿するもの。

𝑴𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑭𝒊𝒄

sum. Your boyfriend posted about you on reddit. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tw. NSFW ON KIDDS PART! Fluff overall! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n. Im sorry for so late uploads, i got sick once again😭😭😭 // Do not translate or transfer any of my works, this is my only account (exp. AO3) will not be cross posted anywhere else. // Masterlist

r/NSFW Eustass.Kidd

I (25 M) fucked my girlfriend (24 F) so hard that i had to get her into the hospital to get a medical treatment on her cervix.

The doctors told us that everything was wounded up inside her and it looked like she got abused from her lacked of walking, we had to get police involved in our house to investigate what had happened and found the dildo i used on her and it was examined on their lab for any contaminated illness.

My girlfriend refuses to see me from how bad her state had gotten and the police interogated me to make that everything was okay at home. My best friend had gotten involved from how bad my girlfriend couldn't walk and had to assure that I wasn't abusing anyone to the police, it took 3 days for them to fully give out on the case.

My girlfriend had been discharged from the hospital 2 days ago and she still refuses to talk to me, i got her flowers for apology and her favorite food as an apology. She told me that she could take all of me in bed and now everything just went downhill since i got out of control in her.

Now everyone of my friends teases me about what happened and they laughed me off every time they see me, Reddit what should i do?

Comments;

Her problem dude, she said she could take it!

You're at fault for taking her word at all. ➣ Eustass.Kidd replied: fuck off single mf.

—

r/girlfriends Msxr.Kill

My girlfriend (24 F) and I (26 M) have been dating for almost 5 years now, tomorrow will be our 5th anniversary and I'm planning to propose to her, but the problem is I don't know how. My brain can't take so much ideas so much and my friends aren't helping me at all.

My girlfriend is the most precious person ever, and i believe she deserves the best in the world. My ideas can't convince me enough that they're good for her, and what if she doesn't like it and rejects me? I don't want that. I asked her bestfriend on what places she especially loves, and I was told to take her on an aquarium proposal.

I don't know what to do and my girlfriend is making me all nervous around her as well, i need help ASAP.

Comments;

Eustass.Kidd: Just tell her to marry you wtf ➣Msxr.Kill replied: You're not helping at all Kidd.

Heat_er: You suck at planning lol. ➣Msxr.Kill replied: Heat I don't wanna hear that from you, you don't even have anyone to love.

—

r/AITA Dr._Trafalgar

Am i the asshole for kicking out my girlfriend from my office?

I, (26 M) kicked my girlfriend (24 F) out of my office because she knocked off all the papers off my shelves and dragged me out forcefully. Now she refuses to talk to me and it's been 2 days. My friends told me that i was the asshole and was wrong for kicking her out.

But the thing was those papers were almost 592 pages and i only ended up finding 578 of them, now my girl moved to her friends house and absolutely doesn't answer my calls or text messages.

Her friends texted me that i was the asshole for not spending time with her and paid attention all to myself only not her needs, the papers were worth so much that i could feed her and let us both live together financially, and now i was forced to redo all 592 pages in A WEEK.

so am i the asshole?

Comments;

Your.name: Yes yta🙄 ➣Dr._Trafalgar replied: get your ass home.

—

r/girlfriends Chef_Sanjii

My girl is the best in the whole wide world, she's do beautiful, so pretty, so perfect, and every thing she does hypnotizes me. Her beautiful nature makes me inlove with her more every second, her intelligence for everything makes her so special, she is not like any other women ever.

In fact, she is the best in the whole whole world. Not only does her pretty face shine in the darkness, but the way her body sways when she walks or does something is so majestic. I'm so lucky to have such a girlfriend like this, and i know that she will always love forever.

The way she interacts with even the smallest things are cute, in fact all of her is cute. The way her hands hold something and it shows that her body is perfect in every inch. She's none like others, no one can ever EVER compare to my girl, one day i will marry her and see her on the aisle and i wouldnt be able to hold my tears as she walks in a wedding dress.

Her facial features resembles a goddess, she trurly is flawless. No matter what anyone says, she'll be the most MOST perfect woman in the whole entire world. I love love her so much, she's the best that ever happened to me. Her love melts me warm and her words make me putty on her hands.

It's safe to say that she too, loves me, and that our relationship definitely is mutual. Love her so much.

Post was liked by Msxr.Kill & 7,251 others.

—

r/wifey Kuz._an

My wife's cooking is terrible but I don't wanna tell her that and destroy her feelings.

My wife and I had been married for almost 9 years now, she cooks for me daily ever since we have moved in together. Her cooking used to be good, but for some reason it tastes like burnt ketchup over burnt cheese. It looks appealing to look, but the tastes seems to be missed.

Her seasonings are full of bell pepper and black pepper, it terribly sucks. I love my wife to the fullest, but when it comes to her cooking, It feels like I'm on a prison cell. I'm sorry My Love, it's the truth.

Comments;

Unknown: Being honest is his forte. Unknown: COMMENT DELETED Unknown: Atleast your wife tries. Unknown: COMMENT DELETED

©Cokou 2024, all works belongs to me.

[ladcedes]

two wheels

george russell x biker!reader, social media!au

summary george's new girlfriend seems way too cool for him and the fans just cannot believe it

notes bit of a longer one here (what is a plot) but i just wanted to do something fun since it's the winter break. and i love poking a bit of fun at my favs

yourusername

tagged: yourbestfriend and 6 others

Liked by lilymhe, georgerusselll63, and 29,412 others

yourusername that's my party people! 🍾

10 December 2023

view 116 comments

yourbestfriend for the record, everything that happened after 9pm is completely yn's fault

⤷ yourusername sooo r u still up for next week?

⤷ yourbestfriend @/yourusername 100%

⤷ yourfriend1 yn is the reason why you shouldn't drink and drive 😭

nadissodone HOLDDDDD IT 🚨🚨 george liked this post

⤷ 44formula but he wasn't tagged soo??

⤷ goatmilton what is a polar bear doing in arlington texas 💀💀💀

champagneshower no way 4th slide is george tho

liked by yourusername

⤷ jadedtrack it does kinda look like him tbf

4strobaby yn ma'am could you please confirm whether or not you have a boyfriend

liked by yourusername

⤷ 4strobaby GUYS SHE LIKED THE COMMENT THIS MIGHT MEAN SOMETHING

⤷ unevilincorporated OMG WAIT @/yourusername does that boyfriend happen to be f1 driver george russell???

liked by yourusername and georgerussell63

⤷ unevilincorporated BOTH HER AND GEORGE LIKED THAT ONE???? IT DEFINITELY MEANS SOMETHING

⤷ maroon.jpg @unevilincorporated yall are crazy why are we playing ouija board with comment likes 😭😭

georgerussell63

Liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 127,384 others

georgerussell63 Pretty good start to winter break ❄️

p.s. thanks danielricciardo for the wine

18 December 2023

view 316 comments

danielricciardo Hope you guys enjoyed the wine!

⤷ yourusername the wine was a banger, will 100% be getting more

⤷ tracklimited @/yourusername oh yeah she basically just confirmed that they're together 💀

oceanblvd im almost positive that's yn's helmet theyre really not trying to hide it anymore

yourusername • 3hrs ago | georgerussell63 • 2hrs ago / 20 December 2023

you replied to georgerussell63's story:

i'm taking u out on another one tmr and u can't say no babe

georgerussell63:

what if i do say no?

you:

u can't. i'll kidnap u and throw u on my bike

georgerussell63:

i could run away

and i think mercedes will have something to say about that

you:

don't worry, i won't keep you for too long

besides, the team loves me

they'll let me off the hook

georgerussell63:

i don't like how i can't argue with that

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63 and 7 others

Liked by francisca.cgomes and 211,220 others

yourusername i should be playing in the winter snow, but imma be under the mistletoe (with youuu)

25 December 2023

view 213 comments

lilymhe nobody tell her it wasn’t snowing in london last night

⤷ yourusername i wouldn’t have known anyway tbh

⤷ pierregasly @/yourusername too busy?

⤷ georgerussell63 @/pierregasly we can’t disclose that i’m afraid.. the nda and all that 😂😂

⤷ brockenclocks @/pierregasly why is pierre always at the scene of the crime 😭😭

⤷ certifiedlvrgrrl @/georgerussell63 george wtf do u mean by the nda

mercedesamgf1 Merry Christmas from the team!

liked by yourusername

yourusername • 2hrs ago / 28 December 2023

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63 and 4 others

Liked by lissiemackintosh, georgerussell63, and 52,220 others

yourusername starting the year off in the beautiful south of france 💋

📸 1&2: georgerussell63

4 January 2024

view 224 comments

georgerussell63 i think i should get credits for the 4th pic too since it was taken on my phone

⤷ yourusername georgie please just let it go 😭

⤷ georgerussell63 @ yourusername you took 50 pictures before letting me leave the bathroom and i was only in half of them.

⤷ yourusername @ georgerussell63 they're for ur personal collection 😘

⤷ moonriver @ yourusername PERSONAL COLLECTION????

⤷ sativaur @ yourusername "personal collection" yn im going insane

fonedance yn you're so fine please break up with ur bf i can treat you better than he ever will

⤷ cuntlonso realest thing i've read all day 😭😭😭

georgerussell63

Liked by pierregasly, logansargeant, and 216,993 others

georgerussell63 A refreshing little getaway to start the year

📸 2: yourusername

4 January 2024

view 431 comments

jadedfc the way his arm wraps around her in their pics im sosoo sick

⤷ rollemodel he lowkey shut down all the haters with it too

⤷ sunburnns that should be me pls

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63

Liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 39.238 others

yourusername trying out a couple extra wheels...

16 January 2024

view 146 comments

yourbestfriend coolest girl itw ⚡️

lilymhe so the final verdict on 2 vs 4 wheels is...?

⤷ georgerussell63 4 wins

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 hell no it's obviously 2 🙄

⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername think that's because you lost by an entire lap?

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 as if you didn't almost fall off the bike!! u're also biased

⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername why don't we just agree to disagree?

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 you just don't wanna admit i'm right

⤷ motogp @/georgerussell63 @/yourusername🍿🍿🍿

⤷ lilymhe @/motogp pass me some, too

⤷ alex_albon @/motogp me 3

gr63stan their arguing is so adorable 😭😭

mercrarri yep i still think she's way too cool for him

⤷ landoshelmet ikr she's such a badass and he's... there

⤷ pastrydish literal she's everything and he's just ken

⤷ 4lbons she already said leave the man alone damn 😭😭

maiadrsh george russell has to be the luckiest man alive

⤷ yourusername more like sexiest man alive

⤷ alex_albon @/yourusername i did NOT need to see you say that today 🤢

⤷ georgerussell63 @alex_albon you'd better believe it 😎

⤷ alex_albon @/georgerussell63 not today, not for a single one of the past 15 years we've known each other, and not ever

⤷ yourusername @alex_albon sincerely, even i doubt that second part

⤷ silverstoned what is yn insinuating in these comments 🤨

an: i feel like every time i post a new smau i level up and introduce new formatting. also comment tags r weird bcs i wna avoid tagging real users and it irks me

bonus:

yourusername • 12hrs ago

seen by georgerussell63, francisca.cgomes, and 153,329 others

georgerussell63 replied to your story | 16:44

"but you love me more"

"right?"

you | 16:45

"hmmmm i gotta think about it"

"i'll tell you tomorrow?"

georgerussell63 | 16:46

"..."

"i can't believe i might lose to a bike 😐"

you | 16:46

"jokes 😭"

"would you pick your car over me, though?"

georgerussell63 | 16:48

"no comment"

you | 16:49

"george."

georgerussell63 | 16:51

"i love you"

you | 16:52

"i'm coming over"

[bluewhitehues]

"An I love you card."

(Yes another HUG series drabble, sue me for missing them. They are my home😭)

Idol Kim Mingyu× F.reader

Genre/tags :fluff,comfort,Established relationship.

Summary: Reader just misses her lover so much. + mingyu buys an apartment so that he can finally ask you to live together with him.

(My brain isn't functioning a lot lately so idk about the summary,just read the fic you will understand, ok bye cuties🏃‍♀️‍➡️😭)

Masterlist

~

You: Lover...I'm breaking up with you if you don't come and give me my hugs till tonight.

Gyu❤️: Baby hello to you too and wtf you scared the shit out of me why'd you start your text like that😭..I'm coming okay wait for me

You: you better if you want me in your life👍🏻

Gyu❤️: stop scaring me ...don't you love me anymore? 🥺🥺

You: WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK IM DYING TO SEE YOU IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU

Gyu❤️: OKAY OKAY MY BAD BABY I GOT IT IM COMING I MISS YOU SO MUCH TOO

You: yeah and on a serious note love I'm not trying to make you feel bad about this I understand that you have work ..it's just I want to see you and hold you ..I miss you 🥺🤐

Gyu❤️: I Know love I know ..do you need something to eat should I get you something?

You: You.. I'm gonna eat your cheeks and lips off

Gyu❤️: oh god babe you've lost it ..is this what the lack of me does to you?

You: It does..it's a serious issue you dont understand

Gyu❤️: okay sweets gotta go I'll be there till 9-10pm may be ..rest till then ok?bye love you mwahhhh

You: yes can't wait to see you love you too❤️

Currently it's 5PM of your day off and you're about to cry because you miss your lover. Honestly it hasn't been that long since you met him. You saw each other nearly 24 hours back. But those meetings has been like just some fleeting moments. And you can't help but miss him from deep within. Your week has been exhausting too and he cures literally everything for you.

It's still 4-5 hours till you can see him. You're not even sleepy anymore you already took a nap. So you just decide to do some self care. You put a sheet mask on your face. (And make a silly face with a pout for the selfie and send it to mingyu. Like Ofcourse.) You even do your nails. Then you get a silly idea to make a greeting card for him with a letter may be. You excitedly take a white paper and few colours, pencils,pens everything.

You draw a cute panda holding a heart. And write 'An I love you card' below it.

And put a cute letter inside it.

After that you eat dinner and wait for him.

You hear the keys rustling and know it's him. You've already done a lot of waiting so you go almost running to the door, your heart beating fast. He comes inside locking the door, when he turns around you're there already running to him, crashing into his arms. He let's out a surprised chuckle wrapping his arms around you.

"Hey there, looks like you missed me a little too much huh" He said closing his eyes feeling you in his arms, your warmth invading his chest and to whole body and his to yours. That's the most beautiful feeling and the very reason why you crave it so much.

You hum in the hug, clutching him tightly.

"I did and I'm not going to let you go now."

Then you look up and he sees your face and eyes, it looks like you're about to cry. Eyes teary while looking up at him and a small pout. He coos at you, instantly holding your face in his hands. "Aww my baby, what happened I'm here now aren't I hmm" He says wiping the corners of your eyes.

You lean into his touch. "I don't know..you made me cry." You pout harder and he leans down to peck your pout. Once, twice. "Don't say that.. what did I do?" He asks pouting back.

You look everywhere moving your eyes as if thinking of something to say. "You were just saying anything,weren't you?" He giggles now that he has figured you out. Squishing your face in adoration. His eyes crinkling as he smiles wide.

You nod,letting out a laugh. "Yeah you know me."

"Mhm thought so." He says then picking you up. He walks to the couch in living room,flopping down on it with you in his lap.

"You sure everything's ok baby?" He asks kissing your head.

"Yeah just...missed you so much." You whisper in his neck,where your face is buried. He rubs your back soothingly. You pull back from the hug to look at him.

"Did you eat?" You ask tracing his face with your fingers. "Mhm I did with the guys." He says sighing into your touch. Placing his forehead on your shoulder. You caress his hair, hugging him tighter and kissing his temple, then ear and then neck. He tilts his head towards your neck and places sweet pecks on your neck too. You pull back making him look up at you, you put your forehead on his saying "kiss me."

And he smiles, complying to you without wasting a single second. He kisses you and you feel home again. He squeezes you to himself hugging you tighter so you know he missed you just as much. You share a few sweet kisses and then pull back.

"You know how bored I was ...I spent the whole day alone." You tell him.

"I wish I had a day off too baby, I'd have loved to spend my whole day with you." He says pouting a little, tucking your hair strand behind your ear.

"It's okay you're here now" You say giving him a smile and a peck at his nose. He scrunches it cutely with a chuckle.

" Oh wait !! I've something for you." You say suddenly remembering something. Your eyes a little wide with excitement. You get up so fast from his lap. You pick up the card from table and hand it over to him.

He takes it, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a smile on his face.

"An I love you card" He reads and looks up to you with a bright smile. "Oh my god babe you're so fucking cuteeee ahh" he says laughing while pulling you closer by your waist,so you're standing in front of him.

"You've to open it " You let out a giggle urging him to open it.

'There are so many shitty people in the world but I Met you..I have you..how did I get you? You're so lovable you know? And I love you for who you are. So kind,loving,caring. You keep calling me angel but you are the real angel. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you so much. I'm writing this because you need to know this and also because I fucking miss you right now. Ok bye don't make fun of me after this.' ~only yours,y/n.

You see all of his expressions with each word,with each line he reads, he melts a little more. h

He tries to control his smile. He looks up at you with tearful eyes. Grabbing your hand he pulls you closer. "How are you so cute baby." He sighs caressing your hands, "How did you get me you say..?.. But how did I get you?" "You're so precious you know that ? It's not even my birthday or anything special, it's just a random day and you're here making me feel so loved." He's looking up at you with so much love in his eyes with a sweet grin on his face, which you love so much.

You chuckle combing your fingers through his slightly long hair. "Baby, it's just me saying I love you in a silly way,it's nothing special.it's just a card."

"Well it is special to me." He says pulling you on his lap again. "And I'm going to cherish it forever, I'll keep it safe with me...thank you." "And I love you too by the way." He says grinning wide,giving you a peck on the lips.

"And I was going to do something special to tell you this or may be I should have asked you before doing this but.." He sighs.." I don't know I just love you so much and I want you to know, I want you with me always. So.." He takes a breath to prepare himself. He fishes out keys from his pocket. "I've been carrying these around since a week." He chuckles nervously, while your heart is beating fast.

"I know I should have probably asked you before doing this, but I just ..I wanted to do it for us ...so ..I bought an apartment for us . It's registered under both of our names."

You gasp "gyuu-" your eyes wide.

"I-I know baby ..it's a big step but ...will you move in with me baby?" He asks finally. "You know that I want a future with you right? For me You're my one and only." He says clutching your hands in his.

You finally let out a sob mixed with a watery laugh. Nodding furiously you say "You're my one and only too gyu. Shit I didn't know you'd do something like this ..but I've thought about this almost daily, when I want you to hold me to sleep. When I want to see you as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. Fuck you don't know how much I miss you when we can't meet or whenever I have to sleep alone." You sniffle and he's wiping your tears, nodding along with whatever you're saying.

"It's a little scary but I trust you with my whole life, so yes I'd very much love to move in with you."

His puppy eyes slowly get bigger in size as he gets happy "Really? Oh my god...I love youuu" He says getting up with you, spinning you.

"Oh my god you're going to make us fall..slow down." You laugh as his giggles fill the room. He stops putting you down on the ground.

"Is tomorrow ok with you? I want to show you the place first then we can decide the rest." He asks. "Yes." You say becoming a blushing mess making him coo at you.

a/n: idk if this is any good but i wrote this in June, finally finished it. Also im sorry for making you wait for 'I hate you not' series.it's also halfway done but it'll take a lot of time for me to actually post it. I'm more into reading than writing these days so please feel free to suggest me some good fics. Thank you for reading this. Hope y'all are having a nice day 🥹🫶

[purpdrawsthings]

IT'S THE PART YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

THE ANIMATIC!

Gosh Hamilton is amazing ✨

Before we go on, I'd love to express my thanks for the support y'all gave on the first part of this animatic.

I'm glad you all enjoyed it, I loved seeing yalls responses, it had me kicking and giggling all day! ❤

These thanks mostly go to @libbytwq @mikchi8 [yes you because uhhhh yes] @coralalala64 @rr3d2y

You guys are amazing =]]]]

Anywaysssss

OMFG WHY TF DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF??????????

I thought I was going to finish this in a week but little did I know I'm stupid and can't even predict stuff so this almost took me a whole month to finish like wtf 😭😭😭😭

Tho it was worth it in the end ig

Though some poses and movements look a bit eh to me, hopefully it'll be enough to entertain you folks <=]

Id love to see yalls responses and thoughts about the animatic!

I hope y'all actually got some lore from this meheheheheheheh 🔥🔥🔥🔥

YEETUS CHAT, AND UNTIL THE NEXT ANIMATIC,

STAY TUNED! =3

[mayhemories]

Hi! Can I request a continuation of Teacher's Pet if you're okay doing it? reader takes the kids on a field trip to see whatever animal/cool thing in the rainforest (up to you) Neteyam and a couple warriors volunteer as chaperones to protect you and the kiddos for safety. He volunteered cuz duty but also saw this as a opportunity to get closer to reader 😈 During the field trip he notices one of the warriors try to flirt with Reader. Neteyam is SO jealous about this.

gif: @world-of-pandora

Teacher's Pet Pt. 2

Anon when I saw this request I nearly passed out bc I thought I had accidentally leaked a part of the plot to this chapter. Wtf great minds think alike <3 hope my vision was satisfying for you!! I'm incredibly anxious about this one not being as good as the first one.

Don’t attack me because this part took so long. I was travelling between continents, have two assignments due and writing multiple works at once 🫡 trying my absolute best here. Some of my tags are working and some are broken! I’m so sorry if you asked to be tagged and it did not work for you - it was not on purpose. 

------

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: Swearing. Reader is slightly harassed/made uncomfortable by a male character (Neteyam doesn’t let it last for long). Neteyam is an adult with adult thoughts, Reader is an adult with adult thoughts, albeit a little innocent (just in her nature).

Words: 3.2k

Author’s Notes: Direct continuation of Teacher’s Pet, you can find part one here ← 

Taglist: @lilprettypetite @nyotamalfoy @weasleytwinwheezes @aonungs-tsahik @rainbowsocks @glitterandgoldfinds @bluealiensimp @melsunshine @ussoppl @wondxrgurll @luvlykrispy @myheartfollower @gloryavila @itssiaaax @mashiromochi @punkrockrogers @simpforboys @casiia @neytirqs @oh-austin @eywas-heir

Fic Taglist: @neteyamore @waaakemeeeup @tejas-kris @gardenofvows @nuhteyam @m4nd0l0r @bobojojoba69 @sydhersom @fanboyluvr @humbug5 @viviartsy @izzytheconosieur @dreamybiitch @heaven1oo4 @myheartfollower @agelsully @slythermania @neteyamyam15 @bealone-prm @okaylorrainee @koryianders @uwu-i-purple-you @jackiehollanderr @b-tchymoon @gloryavila @reneyahh

Continue reading under the cut:

It had been a week since dinner with the Sully’s, with your favourite student and her incredibly, incredibly attractive brother. 

Neteyam. 

His name has been running around your mind, stretching and weaving its way around every thought like a songchord every moment since you left his family home. You could not help but feel ashamed at the thoughts your mind had conjured regarding the warrior, regarding his hands and lips and strong arms. A blush broke out across your face, recollecting the private crevasses of your own mind, feeling as though everyone around you could see, could hear, what you dreamed of. 

“y/n!” Neteyam yelled out to you before he could stop himself. He had just come home from rounds, and his visceral yearning for you could not be halted, if he did not see you immediately he probably would’ve ripped the entire village apart until your figure appeared. And how Eywa had blessed him with seeing your face straight away. 

You spun, facing him, looking almost shocked that he had found you in the bustle of the afternoon. And, to his delight, he could’ve sworn that a light smile graced your beautiful face, in addition to a light, fading blush. 

“Neteyam,” Your voice was so beautiful, so, so, so beautiful. Like a song Neteyam never grew sick of. “Can I help you with something?” You asked, gently. Head slightly cocked. Neteyam couldn’t help himself, his body reacting without his brain, his arm reaching for your own, resting it just above your elbow. 

Your entire body felt like it had been set alight. Neteyam’s light grip on your arm made you feel numb, made you feel like you were floating. And how, how, were you supposed to listen, to comprehend anything he said to you? 

“No, no, but I was uh-” Neteyam stuttured, he hated how unsure he was around you, how nervous you made him. “I was wondering if I could help you.” He finished. 

Yes. Yes, he could. He could help you in so many ways that you wished you could voice to him. 

“How so?” You tried to remain professional, remain calm. But Neteyam still hadn’t removed his damn hand and all you could think about was how you wanted his hands. Both of them. Everywhere. 

Neteyam let out a nervous chuckle, his hand retreating from your arm, finding its home at the back of his neck. Something that you had clocked as a nervous tick, though you could never work out why someone like Neteyam, a handsome, strong and mighty warrior was nervous talking to you, a simple teacher. 

“Tuk let it slip that you and the kids plan to visit the syaksyuk tomorrow,” Neteyam felt his cheeks start to burn. He felt like slapping himself in the face, he needed to wake up, needed to collect himself. His father and brother would laugh at him for this interaction, he knew it. “To go that far into the jungle, alone, looking after twenty-something kids is dangerous.” 

You looked down at your feet, and Neteyam felt guilty, felt like he was scolding you. God, he wasn’t much better than his father. 

Your mind was wheeling. You and the kids. You and the kids. You knew, realistically what Neteyam had been referring to. Was it so wrong to wish for him to mean something else by it, though? You and our kids. That was what your heart longed to hear one day. 

“Would you chaperone us, Neteyam?” You asked sweetly. You tried to catch his strong eyeline, and when you did you felt the warm, flowing feeling pool in your chest. Looking at him was like taking your first breath after emerging from a pond, being around him was like feeling warmth after your marrow had been frozen. He made you feel so, so very alive. Alive and incandescent and important. 

Maybe, maybe it was incredibly selfish of you that you used your students as a front, used his sister as an excuse to see him. But you chased that feeling, you sought out his defiblirating presence. 

Neteyam felt like he was flying, felt like he was dying. Like he had flown too close to a tree and his actions had finally caught up to him. And here you were, offering him everything he has ever wanted, so simply, like it was nothing at all. Fuck, he loved you for it. 

You made a reach for him, your own hand mirroring the placement he had on you only moments ago, desperate for that blood-pumping high.

“Only if you’re not busy of course-”

“Of course. It would be my pleasure-”

Neteyam and yourself had spoken at the same time. Two bashful morons who could obviously not contain themselves in eachothers presence. Well, thats what it felt like to Neteyam, anyway. Despite the fact that you were the most intelligent Na’vi he had anything to do with. 

“I can bring a couple of hunters, if you’d like.” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why would he do that? Neteyam can’t help run his dumbass mouth, he had secured the situation and fumbled it within seconds. All he wanted was to have more moments with you, alone. Or alone as one can get with a gaggle of children at your feet. 

Not that Neteyam minded seeing a bunch of children at your feet. 

And just like that, that beautiful blooming, romanticism errurpted in your chest, it died. You felt naive, you thought that Neteyam was angling at a moment, somewhat, alone. But him being the perfect, golden man that he was, cared genuinely about your safety. Cared about your class’ safety. Eywa damn it, his sister’s safety. All over again, you felt yourself running amock in your own thoughts. Was it not incredibly kind that he would give up his time to chaperone you and your class? He would only offer if he cared. You did not stop the love that unfurled in your chest. 

“Thank you, Neteyam.” You offered the man a smile, hoping he would sense your genuine excitement. “That’s extremely generous of you, I know how short on free time you are.” 

Neteyam was so, so happy. He felt like crying. He just doesn’t understand how you do it. Neteyam, as if being controlled, like a ghost in his shell, let his hand find yours that laid still on his arm, covering your hand. 

Everything was so effortless with you, so right. He did not just feel acknowledged or witnessed. But perceived, you saw him. Neteyam knew he was projecting. All he did know, though, was that he saw you. All he could wish for was that maybe, Eywa willing, you would see him too. 

Lo’ak was getting increasingly more pissed off. Watching Neteyam pussyfoot around you was painful. At first, it was hilarious. So hilarious that even his Dad got in on it. Jake found himself leaning against a support beam, Lo’ak a hairsbreadth away from him. The two of them watching his eldest son, watching his baby boy absolutely make a fool of himself.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Lo’ak.” Jake laughed lightly, shaking his head. Lo’ak had heard that sentence alot, usually in regard to his behaviour, but this time it was his father laughing at his older brother and Lo’ak was incredibly thankful he wasn’t on the end of it this time. 

“It’s embarassing.” Lo’ak agreed. 

Jake sighed. He didn’t realise how much Neteyam lacked in confidence. In the back of his mind, in the deep, dark part that Jake kept hidden, he couldn’t help to wonder if it was his fault that his eldest struggled to express himself.

“Neteyam!” 

Immediately your hand flew to your side, a blush exploded across your face and ears, you did not know why you were embarrassed that Jake Sully had caught you and Neteyam out- you were doing nothing wrong, anyway. 

But Neteyam’s mirroring blush said otherwise. 

“Time for dinner, boy!” As quick as he announced his presence from a few tents away, Toruk Macto was gone, disappeared into the threshold of his own home. 

“Bring your girlfriend!” Neteyam’s younger brother, Lo’ak called out. Following his father he quickly made himself scarse. You felt Neteyam grow rigid at the younger boy’s teasing words. 

Your blush deepened, and you cursed yourself for turning into a blushing, dumbstruck girl everytime Neteyam was near. 

“I’m uh,” Your heart fluttered everytime the precise, calculated warrior stuttured. “I’m sorry for them, they’re just teasing.” Neteyam looked sincre in his apology, but just as embarrassed as you had been. 

You laughed, shooing him away. His searing presence had become too much. 

“It’s alright, ma Neteyam.” You giggled, you were obviously unaware of what you had just said. Neteyam felt like a hunter going in for the kill with how aware of your words he was. He was enamoured. So fucking in love with you, it was beginning to hurt. “Go, go have a feast with your family.”

You smiled and Neteyam wanted to commit it to memory, etch it into his brain, a permanent reminder of your glowing nature.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Neteyam returned the smile, stalking his way to his family home. 

And maybe it was his broad shoulders, or the way his braids moved as he walked. Maybe it was how confident he made you, or how much you wanted him, you didn’t know. But you could not stop the bold streak that only Neteyam could conjure: 

“Neteyam!” You called out, the boy spun, halfway home, brow cocked. “It would be an honour to be your girlfriend, you know!” Echoing the words that his brother had teased him with, you decided not to stay to give him the satisfaction of the last word, you waved goodbye before ducking into your own tent. 

Neteyam chuckled, like a young boy in trouble. All the way home. 

Later that night, while he was trying to find sleep in his private quarters of his family home. Neteyam tossed and turned in his hammock. His thoughts chasing the ghostly figure of you in his minds eye. As he so often did. But this time, words that he would only imagine you saying were replaced with memory. 

Ma Neteyam. Ma Neteyam. Ma Neteyam. 

God. He wanted nothing more than to be yours. To court you, to mate you, to build a home, create a nest for your eventual tribe of children. 

Normally at this point, Neteyam would start to feel guilty, to hold thoughts of you this way in his heart, and dirtier thoughts of you in his head. But as his hand snaked down between his legs, to his throbbing member, Neteyam dwelled on your parting words to him. 

It would be an honour to be your girlfriend, you know. 

And the guilt did not come for him. 

“Children, before we head out to go see the beautiful syaksyuk, I want you all to say a big thank you.” You gestured to Neteyam, and the two other warriors he had conned into chaperoning you and your class. The four adults and twenty-two Na’vi children stood at the precipice of the wild jungle.

“Thank you Ayo’to,” Your class echoed as you placed your hands on the shoulder of the youngest Na’vi warrior that had joined you today, working your way down the line, behind the young men. “Thank you Marek,” you moved along to the shoulders of the next hunter. You found your hands stalling when you reached Neteyam. You went onto your tippy toes, your eyes just peaking over Neteyam’s broad shoulders, giggles rang out from the kids, as one of your hands found Neteyam’s shoulder, the other one wrapping around his taunt bicep. 

“Thank you Neteyam.” You said, along with your kids, his honey eyes finding your own and you wished you could live in his line of sight forever. 

You pulled away, after leaving your hands a beat too long. You ushered the children to follow you, as your chaperones dispersed themselves around. Smiling to yourself, as you realised that Neteyam bought up the rear, sticking incredibly close to the few children in the back of the group. 

So fatherly, so protective, your heart swelled at the sight. 

“Neteyam is my brother.” You heard Tuk whisper to another boy in the class, who was watching the man in awe. Smiling softly to yourself, you were so thankful that you had the confidence to accept Neteyam’s offer of protection in the first place. 

Neteyam felt the smile plaster itself to his face, as he watched you teach the kids. He felt alive as your tail swished back and forth, happily. As you crouched down to be the same height as your students, to point out flora and fauna, to help them learn and love the gift of nature around them. 

He could not help to think how stunning you looked, out here in the morning light of the jungle. How your big, bright eyes glittered when your students answered something right, or engaged in asking questions. 

But to his dismay, the two young hunters Neteyam had pulled to help out, noticed your beauty too. And this soured his mood, greatly. 

He felt livid as he watched Marek’s trained eyes find their target on your ass. He wanted to punch Ayo’to in his square, stupid face everytime he pulled a large leaf back for you. But, the worst part of it all was that this was Neteyam’s own fucking fault. He offered additional help, he picked these two grunts. 

He was incredibly unhappy with his choices.

As you held a slender finger to your plush lips, signaling for the kids to be quiet as you ushered them into a clearing, Neteyam felt guilty for his sudden shift in mood. You were so stunning, so happy. You did not notice how the other two men treated you. You were so focused on the kids, on their education, on their happiness. 

Neteyam felt a tug on his hand, Tuk had almost ignored him the whole walk, enraptured with everything you had said. 

“What’s wrong Neteyam?” Tuk asked, her voice no louder than a whisper. Neteyam loved his sister, loved her keen eye for her family. He noticed that she shared that keen eye with you, too. Like you were her family, too. 

“Shh, nothing, go sit with the others and listen to (y/n).” Neteyam urged Tuk on. The young girl quickly sat in the grass with the other children, their eyes trained on their teacher, despite their surroundings. 

That was just another thing Neteyam found himself loving about you. Your ability to hold a room, to command attention without explicitly asking for it. He smiled to himself as he thought it was a great trait for a Tsahik.

“Kids we must be quiet, must be still as we wait for the syaksyuk.” You walked from the front of the class, to the back, watching them as every Na’vi child had their eyes glued to the tree canopy, waiting for any sign of the blue and yellow primates. 

“You’re a great teacher.” One of the hunters, Marek, had suddenly appeared next to you, whispering in your right ear. "Maybe you could teach me something, sometime." You blushed at the young man’s comments, but it was not the same blush you held for Neteyam. It was different. You were in discomfort. 

“Thank you,” You willed yourself to remain calm, remain professional, in a hushed voice to not scare away the syaksyuk, or be loud enough for the children to hear. “I appreciate that you’ve given time to assist me and my class today.” You kept your words clipped, hoping that your tone and lack of eye contact would push your feelings clearly.

Though you doubt the boy, the man, Marek, you doubted the fact that he cared much about your feelings. 

“Is anyone courting you, (y/n)?” You felt the hunter’s hot breat fan across your neck, you felt like his prey, trapped against his chest and an invisible wall of professionalism standing behind your class. You knew there was nothing explicit in his question, outright. But it was the lewd undertones that had you nervous.

Where was Neteyam? 

“I do not think that is an appropriate question, Marek.” You wished your words had not fallen out of your mouth, shakily, but they had. They had and now he knew you were nervous. 

Where the fuck was Neteyam? 

Neteyam was seeing red, was fuming. 

Marek had crossed a line getting so close to you, that was a given. But as Neteyam watched the bead of sweat roll down your face, watch as your eyes flicked back and forth in front of you, that was enough. 

Silently, as to not interrupt the children’s viewing of the syaksyuk, Neteyam made his way over. 

He heard Marek ask about courting. 

He heard your curt reply. But between your words he could hear your uneasy nature. He could hear the rising panic. 

“You’re excused, Marek.” Neteyam put his hand out to you, relief flooded him as you quickly pulled yourself against his arm and chest, a beat away from Marek and his looming figure. 

“But-” Neteyam cut the hunter off, sick of seeing his stupid face. 

“I want you gone, now. Be quick and quiet about it.” 

You felt like a fool, holding onto Neteyam’s strong hand for dear life. Marek wouldn’t have done anything to you here, not infront of the kids. But it was the fear of it, creeping around in the back of your mind that upset you, nonetheless. 

“Yes Sir.” 

You watched quietly as Marek fled through the brush of the jungle. Silent like the hunter he was. You watched as he pulled the other young hunter, Ayo’to along with him. 

It was you, and Neteyam, and the kids, of course. 

“Are you alright, ma (y/n)?” Neteyam asked softly, pulling your back to his toned chest, his chin resting on the top of your head, large, muscled arms snaking around your waist to hold you tightly against him. Protecting you from any harm. 

You could not help but to lean into his touch, lean into your love for the man. You knew your brain would pick itself raw over the use of that prefix later, now was for you and him. Now was for your kids and the swinging syaksyuk that had appeared through the canopy. 

You rested your hands on top of his own, “I’m alright now, ma Neteyam.” You whispered as the kids began to ooh and ahh at the syaksyuk. Giggling as the primates chattered through the trees. 

You allowed yourself to laugh with the kids, allowed your mind to wander to the daydreams you have of loving Neteyam. Allowed yourself to conjure and image of your firstborn sitting on his father’s shoulders, enraptured with the world around them. 

You let yourself feed into that dream as you felt Neteyam’s very real lips ghost over your hairline, above your left ear. He left nothing but a thought of a kiss there, and you felt that same blooming in your chest. 

“Have dinner with me tonight.” Neteyam gently whispered once more, this time laying a tangible, corporeal kiss above your ear. 

You could’ve folded, in half, then and there if it wasn’t for Neteyam’s strong hold. 

“Anything you want, Neteyam.” You whispered back to him, cocking your head to look up at him. You noticed the muscle flick in his jaw as he looked ahead, pretending not to see your line of sight. Gently, you placed a small kiss on his jawbone. Featherlight, it could’ve vanished if he wished it to. 

You hoped he did not wish it to. 

[n0cturna1-m3]

Sometimes We Say Things We Don't Mean | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male Reader | Angst with Comfort

Minors/Fem DNI

Warnings; Alcohol consumption, verbal fighting, decent apologies, hangover, hurt/comfort, this is kinda shite, randomly named character that doesn't matter but they needed a name so 🤷🏻

Request; "reader gets super fucking drunk cuz them and ghost had an argument earlier and they dont know what to do and ghost finds them about to pass out and goes wa wa wa and then they wake up and they hug because ghost thought he was gonna lose them"

A/N; I'm sorry this took so long but for the better part of a month i was like "wtf am i supposed to write for the fight" and then went "ohhh, i can search why couples fight". so work it is!

2.0k words

Y/N leaned against Ghost as he cooked dinner, a comfortable silence between them. He had come home from a long mission, not more than a week ago, and Y/N had missed him the entire time. Now that he was home, they could have gentle moments like this. Ghost could enjoy simplicity in domestic life for a change.

“I like it when you’re home,” Y/N murmured, watching Ghost cook from behind him. His arms were wrapped around his torso as he worked on a soup. “You should stay home more often.”

Ghost’s stirring faltered and he stiffened under Y/N’s embrace.

“I…” He started, grabbing a bowl of mixed spices from beside the stove, “Price informed me about something going on in Eastern Europe… They leave on Tuesday.”

Y/N moved to rest his chin on Ghost’s shoulder, side-eyeing him. “What do you mean by that?”

He didn’t respond, simply swallowing down the uncomfortable feeling in his throat when Y/N pulled away from him to lean on the counter and face him.

“No, don’t ignore me,” Y/N demanded, staring at Ghost, who avoided eye contact at all costs.

“He asked me to go with him and the Task Force to-”

“No,” Y/N cut him off, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean ‘no’, you aren’t going.”

“What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

“I don’t, it’s just,” Y/N stared at his socks as he grew aggravated. “You’ve been home for 5 days. You would leave in, what day is it… Sunday? In one day?” He asked, glancing at Ghost. He had turned off the burner and pushed the pot onto the back burner to settle, turning to face Y/N.

“Yeah,” He responded curtly.

“You think that’s okay? Just, being gone all the time?”

“It’s my job.”

“Well, yeah, I get that, but you can turn this one down. You can spend some more time with me. Price didn’t give you an order or anything, right?”

“That’s not how that works and you know it.”

“I know…” He sounded dejected, embarrassed even. “I just… I miss having you here…”

“I know, but I have to do this.”

“Why?!” Y/N shouted, startling Ghost, who jumped at the sudden noise. It wasn’t often that Y/N would yell. He was rather soft-spoken and understanding, so it was almost scary to see him so upset. “Why can’t you be here?! Just for a few more days, that’s all I want!”

“I-” Ghost choked, eyes scanning Y/N’s face.

“I’m sick of it! I hate you leaving me for weeks on end, months, even, and once you come home it’s- it’s all you talk about! Work! I hate it!” Tears beaded in his eyes as he screamed. “I just- I want you, Simon!”

Ghost stared at him speechless. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to articulate a sentence, for the right words to say that would soothe the ache in Y/N’s heart. Nothing could come to mind.

“You said it was okay when we started dating,” He said, eyes dark. Y/N scowled, hot tears falling from his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“This wasn’t what I signed up for. Being neglected.”

“Neglected? Are you kidding?”

Y/N huffed. “It’s not my fault that I feel like y- you love your job more than me.”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. It always is, isn’t it?”

“S- Stop it! That’s not wuh- what I meant-”

“No, but it’s what you thought. Listen, I like what I do. You can suck it up and deal with it.”

“I- I know you do, I just-”

“Stop stuttering, for fucks sake!”

Y/N choked out a sob and felt his knees wobble. He puffed out his bottom lip slightly and stared at Ghost with a hurt look. When Y/N was anxious, he would stutter. Ghost knew that he was insecure about that.

“I-” He paused so that he could sound out every word without stumbling over them. “I hate you.”

Ghost twitched, hands flexing around nothing.

“Then leave,” He said without thinking. Y/N whimpered and shoved past Ghost before he could process the words that spilt past his lips.

By the time he did figure out what he said, the front door had slammed shut and Y/N’s coat was gone, his house key still on the hook. He took a shaky breath and walked to their shared bedroom to lie down and cool his head. Maybe a walk would help Y/N regain his thoughts.

“And then- he- he made fun of me,” Y/N sobbed, choking on tears while he drank a beer. “Then he told me to leave.”

“Oh, my god…” The bartender murmured. She was one of Y/N’s close friends, and he always took the bus to get to her bar when he was upset. “What a cunt!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’re dating that bastard!”

“Ally, gimme a scotch,” He said before finishing his beer. “And another beer.”

That went on for some time. Drinking and sobbing and ranting, Ally listened to every word with a comforting presence.

“Do you think…” Ally turned her head from where she was fixing someone a pint of Guinness, “that it’s my fault?” Ally turned back to the glass, placing it down so it could settle, before walking over to Y/N again.

“Maybe a little,” She said, reaching out to wipe his cheeks with a towel that was in her apron. His face was burning hot, and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Y/N cried harder at her words, and she continued to wipe them off his face. “But you came from a good place. You should talk to him with a level head.”

Y/N looked at her with snot running down his nose. “He hates me.”

“No, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, darling.” She walked back to the Guinness to fill it the rest of the way before handing it to an older gentleman who took it with a smile. Y/N watched her as he felt the beginning of a migraine seep through the back of his skull, creeping into his brow bone and making the back of his eyes ache. Beer doesn’t substitute water well, especially when you’re expelling all of it through your face for hours on end. His eyes drooped and his head felt heavy, so he went limp and let his forehead smack against the bar.

“BloodyJesus!” Ally jumped, glaring at Y/N. Her gaze softened at his pitiful figure: an odd bloke, drunk off his arse, sobbing in the furthest corner of the bar. It was a miracle he hadn’t thrown up yet. “Christ, don’t you dare blackout in my bar, Y/N.”

Ally’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she fished it out to check the caller ID. ‘Simon’. She huffed and picked up, pressing it to her ear and being met with a very frantic Ghost.

“Have- Have you seen Y/N? We had a fight, he left and I- He hasn’t come home yet. I’m worried,” He said. He sounded close to tears if they weren’t already falling. A thick frog in his throat was making him choke on his words.

Ally sighed and looked at Y/N, who had managed to lift his head and reach for his unfinished beer. She smacked his hand away and grabbed the glass. “I’ve got ‘im.”

“Fuck, thank god. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

“What? It’s a 20-minute drive, how the hell are you… He’s hung up on me,” Ally groaned, pocketing her phone and dumping the beer in the sink. Y/N whined at the sight but didn’t audibly complain. Not in English at least.

“Gimme another,” He slurred, leaning on one of his arms. Ally shook her head and tended to another customer, fixing him a glass of whiskey and setting it in front of them.

She glanced at the front door when it burst open not 10 minutes later, slightly peeved at the sudden loud intrusion, and more so at the fact that it wasn’t a regular. Her eyes softened, however, as she saw that it was Simon. He was frantically scanning the room, noticing Ally and rushing over to her before seeing Y/N, utterly ossified and nearly asleep.

“You get this drunk out of my pub,” She said. He nodded and wordlessly helped Y/N up, wrapping an arm around him before deciding that he would fare better at bringing him home by lifting him up. Ally watched as Ghost lifted Y/N up onto his back with ease, piggybacking him.

“Thank you,” He said quietly. Ally shook her hand and shooed him, desperate to get this show out of her pub and back onto the streets where it belonged. As the door closed behind Ghost, one of the men sat at the bar looked at Ally with a confused face.

“What the feck was that holy show?” He asked, leaning forward as if it were a secret.

“Two very sad man-children.”

Y/N woke up in bed with a hangover feeling entirely shattered. He groaned and shrank back under the blankets, burying his face in his pillow to avoid the blinding morning sun.

“Oh my god…” He whimpered, rubbing his eyebrows with his fingers and groaning again. He heard the bedroom door open, but couldn’t will himself to look over to see who it was.

“Good morning,” Ghost said, walking beside the bed and setting a cold glass of water on the nightstand with 3 Dexibuprofen and a Lucozade Sport. “For your hangover.”

Y/N poked his head out of his little cocoon to look at Ghost, who was now crouched down to be eye level with him, his eyes welling up with tears at the stupid, sorry look on his face. Y/N reached out his hand and cupped his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek with his thumb. Simon leaned into his touch, eyes glossy as he looked at Y/N.

“ ‘M sorry…” Y/N whispered. His head was throbbing, but Simon was here in front of him and that was good enough for him. “I don’t hate you…”

“I know,” He responded, cupping Y/N’s hand and moving it to press a kiss to his palm. “You worried me.”

He blinked away his tears and leaned in to kiss Y/N softly, who welcomed it tenderly, holding the back of Simon’s neck. He pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other, gazing into each other's eyes carefully.

“Could you,” Simon whispered, “say that you love me?” His voice cracked at the end, his face reddening slightly with embarrassment as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I love you, Simon,” Y/N said, leaning in to kiss him again. “I love you.”

“Take your pain killers,” He said, pulling away from Y/N so he could sit up enough to drink the pills down.

A wave of relief washed over his face when he swallowed a mouthful of cold water. It felt as though it went straight to his migraine, cooling his brain that was aching. His eyes finally felt like they weren't going to pop out of their sockets.

Simon watched as Y/N began to relax. He drank so quickly that water dripped down his chin and onto his chest. Simon smiled at Y/N with a certain fondness that was reserved just for him. A smile that only he had seen, or one that maybe Soap or Price would see a glimpse of when thinking of him.

Y/N finished the glass and set it on the side table, wiping his chin with the back of his hand and looking at Simon.

“Will you lay with me?” He asked. He looked tired again, and Simon felt tired, too.

“Yeah,” He said, crawling into bed with Y/N and laying with his head on his chest. “I love you.”

[movedtoadifferentspace]

i shifted last night for the first time in 2 years. . .

MOVED TO @kodtheshiftinggodd !

📌 — QUICK RUNDOWN OF MY SHIFTING JOURNEY

umm so i started on shifttok ( unfortunately) back in like november of 2021, i was shifting to naruto. during like 2021-2022 i had experienced a lot of shifts, ranging from weird realities i didn’t plan on going to, only being there for a few moments, not realizing i was there even though i was there for over an hour, and literally shifting while doing dishes. 🧍

sometime in like the summer of 2022 i stopped shifting doing to being in a relationship with this really cringy dude… who like thought i would disappear out of thin air… if i shifted… ( and some shifttok drama that i got brought into, that’s a whole other story if you wanna hear that, the rundown is i got randomly outcasted bc i had BPD and autistic traits ( literally what they said ) ) yeah not my finer moment. anyways, i also just lost a lot of motivation for it. i still hated this reality but i don’t know, shifting just, idk. it took me just a few months ago to realize that the shifttok mean girls who outcasted me, made me feel like i didn’t deserve to shift in some way. ( when i realized that, i realized how fucking stupid that was )

and so i’ve been really reevaluating my journey, spent a lot of time of shiftblr instead of shifttok, even started my own discord to get rid of misinfo!!! which by the way shiftblr has helped me change my mindset SO MUCH! like i’ve been literally a ghost on here but i adore ya’ll so much !!and basically i feel really confident about shifting. i’ve shifted every time i tried, even though it was a very short shift, i have been practicing manifestation, LOA, & meditation and yeah here we are !

🐇 — THE SHIFT ITSELF

so i read something last night on shiftblr, it’ll be linked here, i already was/am in the mindset of “if i try to shift i’m going to fucking shift” like it doesn’t matter to me anymore, i’m doing it. instead of trying every night, i’ve been focused on trying on weekends when i have no responsibilities and such. though throughout this week i have been practicing my meditation/reaching the void state. SO i saw that post and honestly… i wasn’t really like looking to shift, it was a very impromptu thing. i put on a subliminal [ the one i used ] and i went to bed. i was thinking about one my alt realities a better cr though i hate the term better cr where i live in Oregon, and I am a tattoo apprentice, Levi Ackerman from AOT is the one I am apprenticing for. this is really based on me learning how to tattoo and not having to spend time with the AOT cast while also fighting titans and save the world. while that is great, I wanted something chill SO YEAH. I fell asleep to thinking about that… and I shifted. not to that reality but a weird parallel/version of it?

I did this with my first ever shift too. it was almost like a dreamlike reality, but only subtly. soooo I did reality checks.. and it for sure wasn’t a dream. I lived in the apartment above the shop ( which isn’t what i scripted ) and I went down and just went to work with Levi, Hange, and Zeke. I was really on edge though, like “omg i shifted” “i’m literally talking to Levi wtf” like i had no time to process or ground myself so i ended up coming back. but yeah. that’s what happened and i’m determined to get to this ALT reality. ( not in a rushed way, but a ‘i know im going to get there soon’ way )

anyways, that’s my first ever shiftblr post ahhh xxxx

creds to @jolynesmom for their post that i found

ALSO ANY TIPS WILL BE WONDERFUL, i’m literally always looking for things to improve my journey <3 or new things to try at least

happy shifting <3

[coloursflyaway]

fic prompt if youre interested: charles is hanging out by himself and accidentally meets 2 other ghosts and finds out they got married in the afterlife and absolutely goes crazy over it bc hes like you can get married in the afterlife?? ghost weddings exist??? should *i* propose to edwin???? and he cannot stop thinking about it and one day he's just like "edwin, do you think we should get married?" and edwin is like charles wtf?

Hi! It took some time, but here's the fic ♥

Because My Heart And His Are The Same

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.000

Read on AO3

“Let's get married”, he tells Edwin, quickly crossing the distance between the mirror and the desk, and this gets a reaction at last, Edwin’s head whipping up to stare at him. “That’s what we have to do. I talked to the witness and her husband, and I’ll tell you about the case later, but they got married when they were dead, because the whole Til Death Do Us Part thing, that should work the other way around too, right? Like, if we are already dead and we get married, then there is nothing left to part us. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Charles and Edwin get married before they even know they are in love. (They find out twenty years later.)

“...and once we had met, it was almost like destiny. It took maybe a few weeks, but after that, we both knew that we were it for each other. Soulmates, I guess you could call it. Sometimes, I wonder if being dead just makes it easier to decide these things, like life falling away allows you to focus on the important things.”

Marian, the witness Charles set out to interview and got completely sidetracked by, looks over to the man next to her, and her eyes are so warm and so soft and so grateful that it does something to Charles’ head and chest that he isn’t sure he likes. Something is growing there, caught between happiness and jealousy and, mixed in between, the feeling he occasionally gets when he looks at Edwin.

For a fleeting, almost unnoticeable moment, he wishes Edwin was here, without knowing why. Apart from the fact, of course, that he usually wants Edwin there with him.

“And we ended up thinking how to go on from that, because I would like to move on at some point in the future, but I would never be able to leave Sebastian. It wouldn’t be Heaven without him there, if that is where I will be going, and it would be Hell for him. Seb’s always been a romantic, or so he tells me, and he came up with an idea that was so strange that we figured it might work.”

Another smile, another look, a nod from Sebastian, and the feeling in Charles’ chest pulses, presses against his ribs like it is trying to break free.

“You see”, Marian continues, “Til Death Do Us Part, when you promise that alive, that means you will be parted once you’ve died. So, Seb figured, if that is true, then Death might not be able to part us if we get married when we’re already dead. Of course, here’s no guarantee that it’ll work, but then again, it can’t hurt to try either. So, eight weeks after we met, we went to find a priest that could see ghosts and we got married.”

She reaches out to take her husband’s hand, but by now, Charles’ mind is reeling to the point where he barely notices it, where the smitten expression on her face can’t fan the emotions blooming in his chest any more. They’re still there, and might stay for a long time, but at the moment, they just don’t matter.

“And that’s the story how I ended up with such an overly-long, hyphenated name. I don’t mind it, though, I wear it with pride, since it’s ours, and-”

Marian is about to launch into another bit of their story, and usually, Charles would be glad to listen – he, just like Sebastian, is a romantic at heart, always has been – but he can’t, not now. Not when he might just have received the most important bit of information since he first listened to The Special’s self-titled album in 1987. A proper revelation, this might be.

Because it makes sense. If marriage is something that can only be broken by death, then getting married after you have died should make it unbreakable. Right?

“I have to go”, he blurts out, then adds, both to be polite and because he really, truly means it, “but thank you. Like, seriously. Thank you so much.”

“Edwin! Edwin, come here!”, Charles yells out even before he has fully come through the mirror, too excited to hold onto the words for a second longer, “We have to do something!”

There’s a moment of silence, which means that Edwin is absolutely not moving, like he should be, then, “Do what, Charles? You seem quite flustered. Did something happen with the witness?”

Edwin isn’t even looking up from where he is bent over the desk, studying an artefact or reading a book, obviously not understanding the seriousness of the situation at all. It should be exasperating, but Charles only feels fond, the affection blossoming in his chest enough to cut through the excitement.

“Get married”, he tells Edwin, quickly crossing the distance between the mirror and the desk, and this gets a reaction at last, Edwin’s head whipping up to stare at him. “That’s what we have to do. I talked to the witness and her husband, and I’ll tell you about the case later, but they got married when they were dead, because the whole Til Death Do Us Part thing, that should work the other way around too, right? Like, if we are already dead and we get married, then there is nothing left to part us. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Charles feels the idea buzzing through his body like he remembers caffeine doing when he was still alive, making him rock on his heels, fingers tangling and untangling, even if Edwin is still only staring at him, eyes wide and mouth open.

“...we can’t get married”, Edwin finally answers, slow and soft, like he is still piecing the words together, like he is still navigating his thoughts even as he is speaking them. “We are… both boys.”

Sometimes, he forgets how different Edwin’s time was; sometimes, he forgets that even as they have become part of a new era, one in which neither of them has ever lived, it usually takes Edwin longer to catch up with how things have changed.

“Get with the times, Edwin!”, Charles tells him, grinning, because for once, he is the brains, and he is the one who has done his research before coming here. “It’s 2006! We can go to the Netherlands, Belgium, Canada, Spain or South Africa. I’ll even let you choose. We could do a little honeymoon-like vacation after that, too! The only thing we have to do is find some kind of official there who can see ghosts, and voila! Married.”

It’s so easy, it’s such a great idea, Edwin just has to realise it. And he will, Charles is certain of it. After all, Edwin is brilliant.

“But-”, Edwin breathes out, and there is another moment of silence, one that somehow feels breathless, feels heavy with emotion that Charles cannot place; something momentous, terrifying, life-changing. “….you would want to marry me?”

“Of course.” It’s the easiest question in the world to answer, even if Edwin asks it like it should be impossible to do so; it’s Edwin, it’s an extra bit of hope for them to stay together, like they should, have to, will. “You’re my best mate. I don’t wanna leave you ever, so it makes sense, doesn’t it? Doesn’t have to be romantic, not to us. But if Death ever does catch us, we’ll be able to go, absolutely not, death can’t part us, it’s the thing that brought us together. Brills, right?”

And there is another pause, just as breathless, just as life-changing; Edwin drops his gaze, and when he answers, his voice is soft in a different, a hopeful way.

“Yes. You’re right. That would be brills, indeed.”

They’re on the rooftop, watching the sun rise, because the agency feels crowded with Niko and Crystal sleeping on the couch, and Edwin’s hand is in his, just where it belongs.

They haven’t had much time to themselves lately, so this feels like a treat, a few peaceful hours they have carved out to just be with each other, enjoy these strange, beautifully changed circumstances of their relationship. Because they are beautiful, Charles thinks as he strokes his thumb across Edwin’s knuckles; they are beautiful because being with Edwin always is, always has been, because they were meant to be friends for three decades and they are meant to be much more for the rest of their existence, because he loves Edwin the most of all, and always will.

“We should do this more often, coming up here”, Edwin says softly into the light of the morning sun, and his voice feels like a balm on every scratch on Charles’ soul. “It really is quite pretty. And I have always loved the sunrise.”

And I have always loved you, Charles wants to say, but doesn’t; he doesn’t have to, Edwin knows.

He’s right, too: the city is just waking up underneath them, dawn is painting the sky pink and peach, the clouds scattered across it like sea foam. It reminds Charles of South Africa, of watching the sunrise on the beach there, and…

“Oh, God”, Charles blurts out before he has had a second to think, half-laughing, and knows Edwin is looking at him with one perfect eyebrow raised without turning his head. “Oh God, I just realised something. Edwin. I kind of figured you were my boyfriend now, or something, but you’re not. I can’t believe I forgot about that. You’re my husband.”

And he’s laughing, because how do you forget about being married to the love of your afterlife? And yet, how do you not, when you’ve only fallen in love with him two decades after marrying him?

It takes Edwin a second, but then he joins Charles, hand tightening around his fingers, and there is something so precious about Edwin’s laughter, especially when it sounds like this, carefree and incredulous and happy, that Charles thinks he might be falling in love with him all over again.

“If it’s any consolation, Charles, I had forgotten about it, too”, Edwin tells him once their laughter has died down, a smile still on his plush lips; Charles almost kisses it off them. “Even if it was quite a beautiful wedding.”

“It was.” It had been warm and sunny and quick, just them and a lovely older woman, a kiss to Edwin’s cheek and a lie about being too timid for public affection, a long walk on the beach afterwards and the elation of a little bit more hope that they would never have to part. “We should do it again.”

“What?”

“Get married.” He’s only had the thought for a split second, and yet Charles can almost see it in his mind: a proper ceremony this time, with Crystal and Niko there, writing vows and kissing Edwin senseless after he says I do, and meaning it differently this time, still meaning it the same way as the first time, too. “We should get married again. Marry me again?”

The question startles a surprised sound from Edwin, something in between a laugh and a gasp, and his eyes are as wide as they were the first time Charles proposed it. Proposed to him.

“But we have permission to stay here now”, Edwin counters, soft and warm and intrigued; his fingers tighten around Charles’ and Charles wants to slide a ring on one of them and never see Edwin without it again.

“I know. Doesn’t make me want to marry you any less”, he tells Edwin and can’t help but smile, can’t help but let the excitement, the love colour every word of it. “There’s so many more countries we could go to now, and there are no records of it anywhere, so we could get married in each one of them. I want to marry you on a beach and in a church and on top of the highest building we can find. And if that stupid department ever changes its mind, and Death finds us, we can tell her, she can’t split us apart, because-”

“-because death is the thing that brought us together.”

“Exactly.” Charles smiles, touched that Edwin remembered his words from back then, and is fairly certain that, if Edwin still had blood flowing through his body, he would be blushing. “A dozen times, at least.”

It takes a moment, but it is one Charles doesn’t mind waiting for, because then Edwin says, “Alright. I’ll marry you. Again.”

“And again?”

“And again”, Edwin replies, soft and sweet, and Charles loves him, then adds, “And then again, if you want to. Husband.”

And this time, Charles gives in, wouldn’t know how to stop himself, and kisses the love and the surprise and the happiness right off Edwin’s lips, and thinks about how they’ll taste after having said their vows the next time, and the one after that, and the one after that, too.

And clutches Edwin closer, and thinks, and the one after that, as well.

And kisses that thought onto Edwin’s lips, too.

[casuallivi]

The Midnight Kiss

I’ve been a sad bitch and the almost nothings that I managed to write were reflecting it terribly. I want to be a happy bitch again and finish a quirky romcom that does not evolve to sad-town-fest. Pray for me and my constancy, godspeed to us all. This is the farthest I’ve ever came writing solos-turned-multichapter. Amazing and wtf.

Warning: mentions of anxiety and self-harm and infuriating blonds.

Enjoy. Comments are welcomed and cherished :)

Part 8: 500 days of Azriel - part 1

Five hundred days.

The countdown of his life turning upside down took 500 days

And it was all because of her.

DAY 1

Truth be told Azriel Marino didn't mean to pay her any attention.

The thing is life can be unpredictable, even for a big planner like him, especially when this planner happens to be in constant contact with the most chaotic variant he had ever came across. Well, maybe it was a bit dramatic of him to define a person like that, but Elain Archeron was no regular person, so Azriel couldn’t help but compare her to a surprise variable disrupting the balance of his perfect life equation.

“Fuck!” The strangled curse resonated along with the emergency door hitting the wall. Agitated, Azriel shrugged his suit jacket, making his way to the building's stairwell.

The phone in his hand was ticking time bomb. He held it like a vice, like a nasty habit he couldn't seem to get rid of. Her photo on the screen shined like a beacon, a conductor to his own personal hell. Damn it. He should have erased her contact info by now, should have erase all possible traces of her.

Easier said than done.

Azriel stared at the photo she sent as if he was staring at Morrigan herself, stared at the empty bottle of wine by her side, her tear-stained cheeks and red stained lips doing nothing to distract him from the bunch of pills in her hand. Under the ominous picture laid four bubbles that made his stomach churn.

sometimes I want 2 sleep and never wake up Sorry 4 texting I love u bye Az

It had been an hour since he received the picture documenting Morrigan's latest threat of attempting suicide.

Then nothing.

No further picture, no more threatening messages, nothing. Complete silence from the woman who had been calling and texting nonstop all week after a photo like that was a bad sign. With a shaky hand, Azriel loosened his tie and scratched his throat, willing the air in and out.

I love u

The empty text float in his mind.

It's a lie, he reminded himself. It's always a lie.

There was no coming back from the break up this time. Not for him. Whatever she chose to do or not do was out of his hands now. He had played this part one too many times to know nothing good would come from bending to her.

Scrunching his eyes shut, Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself. He hated this feeling, the cruel fait of being responsible for Mor's life, the constant balance of her existent being put in the palm of his hands.

It’s fake, he mentalized. It’s fake like all the other ones.

But what if it wasn’t?

Shaking, he dialed her number.

Azriel didn't know if it was worry or deep resented anger that gave his hand tremors. Deep down he knew what she was doing. This wasn’t his first rodeo with Mor. Facetimes in the middle of the night, hysterical crying on his hallway, pictures of knifes and ropes over her bed, long goodbye emails that he should’ve not read, but couldn’t help doing so. So far, Mor had used a lot of cruel ways to razzle him into taking her back, and Azriel was so fucking done with this shit.

Still, having someone texting you the equivalent of a suicide note was frightening. Why hadn't she reached him again? What if she had gone through with it this time? What if she hurt herself? Azriel ran a hand through his hair.

The call didn't go through, panic slowly seeping through his bones.

Who was he kidding? Azriel would never be able to leave Morrigan. They have been together too long, been through too much. It was too late for him to try and leave her now, too late to break this sickening connection between them.

On the verge of crying, he dialed her number again.

He could be stronger this time, firmer, just a long time friend checking on another. He could do this. He would just check on her, make sure that she was safe and unharmed, and them he–  

“You drop that phone. Right! Now!”

The loud command caught him by surprise, Azriel turning back to the exit door. No one had come through, he was still alone on his floor.

“I cannot believe you’re calling this asshole again!” The same feminine voice reprehended.

He recognized her immediately, his ears well used to the high pitch that loved to start a fight with him, only it was a first seeing her using this tone with anyone else. Quietly, he approached the railing to get a better view from the floor below, watching his two employees fight like toddlers

“He called me all day! It’s rude to ignore.” Nuala screeched, pushing Elain’s head away.

“He’s buttering you up, your idiot,” Elain replied two second away from climbing her friend's back. “That’s how that piece of shit manipulates you!”

Jumping, she made failed attempt to grab the phone.

“He doesn’t manipulate me.” Nuala said in a defensive tone.

“Oh, please!”

“… Fine, maybe a little. But he loves me!”

“No he doesn’t. Give me the phone, Nu.”

“I will… I just need to call him real quick, it's the last time, I promise.”

Huffing, Elain placed both hands on her waist, glaring at her friend.

“You’re the one who asked me to guard you phone, remember?” She made a run for her friend, Nuala dodging her with easy. “I won’t let you get back with that walking trash!”

“I’m not trying to get back together.”

“Save the lies for someone who’ll believe you.”

“I’m serious. I just have check on him.”

“No, you don’t.”

“He was so sad Elain, he almost drunk himself to death!”

“That man was cheating on you, he can jump of a cliff an I won’t care! Give me the phone.”

“No.”

“Give it to me!”

“No!”

Azriel rolled his eyes watching them struggle like two toddlers battling for the best toy. The “fight” didn’t last long, not when Elain was willing to stick a wet finger in her friend’s ear to gain advantage. He didn't know whether to be impressed or disgusted with how far she was willing to go, and he wasn't the only one.

“Oh my God, you’re disgusting!” Nuala complained, rubbing her ear raw.

“And you are welcome.” Elain replied, turning the phone off and sticking it inside her shirt.

With a sigh, Nuala sat on the stair, hiding her head between her knees, the photographer soon following her steps, wrapping an arm around her friend. The scene seemed too personal for him to be watching, yet Azriel could not walk way without listening to all of it, not when he and Nuala seemed to have so much in commom.

Trying to give them a bit of privacy he turned his back to the railing and sat down. In normal circunstance he would never he sat in an unwkown dirty floor, but his day had been long, and Azriel was tired. The kinds of tiredness that reachs the soul. He did his best not to touch anything that wasn't necessarie.

“He will change," he heard Nuala reasoning. “He promised.”

“He always does, and he never changes. No one change for others, you know that.”

“What if he meant it this time?”

“What if he doesn’t?" A bit of silenced filled the staircase. "Will you spend the rest of your life catering for him? Being unhappy just to stay beside him?” At that, Nuala lifted her head. “Honey, that man doesn’t love. If he really loved you, he would not be terrorizing you, he wouldn’t hurt you, and he wouldn’t pretend to be hurt just to get your attention. You don’t do this to people you love Nuala.”

Nuala groaned, the weight of the words washing over her.

“If he doesn’t love me, why won’t he let me go?"

I know the feeling, Azriel thought on the upper floor.

"He has to love me at least a little bit, right?”

“You know why he won’t leave you alone? Because now that you dumped his useless ass he realized how much you did for him, how much easier you turned his life. In his mind, he can treat you as badly as he wants and you will never leave, because you don’t love yourself enough to leave, but you love him enough to stay even if it makes you unhappy.”

The women stayed silent for a while, Azriel absorbing the words that weren’t meant for him but might as well had been. To love someone more than you love yourself was a dreadful curse to carry.

“I miss him.”

Azriel paused, pensive. Did he missed Mor? Inside him there was long, a long he couldn't quite comprehend or classify. He was so tired of being manipulated and dismissed, so tired of being taken for granted, tired of being alone, still, Azriel missed being in love, and Morrigan was the only woman he had ever loved. But did he miss Mor? Azriel wasn't so sure anymore.

“I know, darling." Elain soothing voice found him again. "You won’t miss him forever, I promise. Give it time Nuala, it sounds cliché but time heals all things, it will heal you too, you’ll see.”

Another moment of silence, then,

"I think to have to keep my phone for a little longer.”

“I know.”

“Don’t let me call him.”

“I won’t.”

“Christ, I can’t believe I’m having a meltdown at work.”

“I know.” Elain laughed. “I’m so gonna make fun of you later. Come one, let’s get back. The busier you are, the less you’ll think about that waste of oxygen, come." Her voice began to feel further. "By the way, Nu, you should try Crushland, is a wonderful problem-solver.”

“And stay hidden behind plants to thirst after Cass? No, thank you.”

“Ugh, shut up. I told you I wasn’t hiding, I was passing by.”

“Sure you were.”

A door opened and closed and then the girls were gone, leaving Azriel behind. His phone rang, Morrigan’s name in capital letters screaming at him to pick up. He starred at it until the screen shut down again.

Turning his device off completely, Azriel stood. He rearrenged his tie, using the linen handkerchief safely tucked in his brest pocket to clean the dirt from hist pants. His eyes followed the material, suddely remembering this particular piece had been a gift from Mor. Azriel took a deep breath, ehxaling slowly, Elain's words replaying on his ming. The busier you are, the less you’ll think about that it. Usually, Azriel would be the first one to disagree with Elain. This time he hopped she was correct.

Reentering the halls of the building, Azriel discharged the handkerchief in the nearest bin, thinking back to the one piece of the conversation that he had not understood at all.

“What the fuck is crushland…” he muttered to himself.

DAY 185

There was a she he didn't want to think about.

And there was a she who would not leave his mind.

To Azriel Marino, Elain Archeron’s mind was a chaotic mess. Well, at least he supposed it was, since he was yet to see her having a linear line of thoughts or exhibit traits of an organized person. And he would know if she had, because Azriel had been paying a lot of attention to Elain since he accidently listen to her conversation.

Going against instinct was hard, but he tried his best to follow the stolen advices. Since that faitful day, Azriel reseted his phone without bothering to save any prior conversation, photo or information on it, switched numbers - both personal and professional - forced himself to develop a new distribution strategy to raise the number os sales, reached for a couple friends that he hadn't catch up with in years, and suspended Morrigan from the list of preaproved guests of his building.

The last action was proving to be a bit tricky since his brother lived on the same place in a different floor, Mor using the opportunit to pretend to visit Cassian and go bang straight on Azriel doors. To his credit he had been doind an excelent job of playing dead in these situation, but it was getting embarassing to pretend not being home when he was a grown asss adult. Should he move? Fuck.

The first days were rough, the suicide threat hunting his dreams. Azriel did his best not to fall, focusing in rebuilding his days without placing Mor at the center of his life, focusing his efforts in fully reviving the magazine instead. These days most of their revenue came from the digital market, but Azriel was determinate to ignite people's love for paper again. There was a certain finesse and class to the final result of a printed magazine that bright ipad screen couldn't compete with. The more he tried to revive this tradition, the less he found himself fixating about Mor.

From the confines of his office, he watched Elain's back as she worked editing some shots. Her advice was solid. Time was indeed a good healer, Azriel being the one that have never gave into it, not entirely. He wondered if she would be proud of how well he managed to follow her lead. Would she praise him? From his observations, Elain was the type to praise every trivial achievement her friends would share with her. Except for his. Not that he had ever shared anything with her. Elain and Azriel weren't friends.

He obsessed over the wrapper one last time, breathing in courage and marching to deliver it.

In his hands Azriel held a Remus 1.5x Full Frame Anamorphic 5 Lens Set all wrapped in pink. He had no inkling about professional lenses quality, but he had seen Elain daydreaming about this particular set once or twice, her computer screen stuck on the specs as she gushed to Nuala or Miguel about inumerous advantages only she seemed to follow. It is a working tool, he would say, to keep improving the magazine's quality.

Truth was the gift was a hidden thank you and a quiet peace offer.

Elain could be a mouthy thing with a questionable wardrobe and an inexplicable supply of energy for someone who disliked coffee, but over the last months Azriel learned that she was also insightful and very considerate, qualities he had failed to apreciate for they could never interact for long without fighting. During their weekly meeting Elain mostly kept to herself, scketing scenarios and playing with possible color gradientes as she dropped a terrible joke here and there, quickly associating which agencies would have the best catalog of models for the monthly issue, humming as she pinned the name to vision bord. When they were in the shooting set her other persona would come out, bossy and stern, not afraid to shout orders at anyone, not even him. Azriel was trying to learn not to interfere with her on set, still, he would razzle her sometimes, unable to stop himself from trying to be in control.

Once he stopped antagonizing her, Azriel realized their goal was the same: do a good job. That's why he suggested Cassian should hire Elain as their official photographer instead of keeping her as backcall freelancer. Elain was too good not to keep. And since she appeared to be a good friend to every one in this office, maybe, just maybe, he and Elain didn't have to be in each other's throat all the time. Maybe they could even be… well, not friends, he didn't know her personally enough for that, but they could be work colleagues. Good colleagues.

They had a couple traits in common, and Azriel was perfectly capable of using them to befriend her.

Or maybe he wasn't.

Azriel’s nose wrinkled on its on as he approached mess scatarred across the wood top that once upon a time, was a desk. Now old food wraps covered half of it, and so did empty cups (which were probably responsible for the stains on the wood); the other half was occupied by cut outs from magazines and multicolored folders, pictures of clothes, places and people that she would somehow turn into an idea.

A shiver ran down his spin, making him physicaly shake in place to get rid of it. His mind would never function properly in this kind of working space. Just thinking about putting his laptop on this desk made his skin crawl. Not surprisingly, her camera was the only item in a proper place, with no garbage nearby, safely secure in a bag and carefully placed on a lower shelf.

If there was one thing, Azriel knew about Elain was that she loved her camera.

And apparently, his brother.

Unaware of his presence, Elain hunched over her phone like a goblin, an old photograph of a shirtless Cassian posing by a waterfall occupying the entirety of her screen. If Elain was trying to be subtle about her crush, she was doing a terrible job of it. By now, he was sure everyone in this department knew she had a thing for his brother.

Well, she was a single woman and his brother was a single man... Still, Azriel didn't like the way her eyes would lite up around Cass, how easily they would slip into casualty and conversation, how she'd play with her hair and smile brightly at him, how her voice would be sweeter and higher than normal, or how they would share the same wave length for flirty jokes and heavily sexual innuendos. He hated those jokes. Hated that insufferable immodest bond that they seemed to share so effortlessly.

Why did they need to be laughing so much around each other? It was annoying and juvenile.

Sick of watching her ridiculous hobby, Azriel lowered himself till his lips were nearly touching the shell of her ear.

“Online stalking can also be considered a form of working harassment.”

Elain nearly jumped from her chair.

“Jesus Christ!” she squealed, holding her phone to her chest.

“Nope, just your boss. About to file an HR complain with you name on it.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“You can’t complain about me, I wasn’t stalking you.”

“So you admit you were stalking.”

“I wasn’t stalking, it was a Facebook memory!” She defended herself, cheeks reds as a tomato.

Azriel watched her. Elain wasn’t the shy blushy type.

In fact, in all those months working with her he hadn’t saw her face red unless she was very angry (usually with him). Elain blushing was kind of… cute. Her heated cheeks matching the soft cherry blossom shade of her lips. Azriel was yet to see Elain with heavy make up on, her daily pattern cosisting in sunscreen, a bit of foundation and lots of gloss. He could tell her lips were the area she liked to play with the most, testing different shades of red and pink that seemed to match her mood. Sometimes they seemed the color of rose buds, sometimes they were closer to cherry red, most times they were glossy and sparkling, and sometimes he stared at them more than he should, so engrossed in the way they moved he forgot to pay attention to what she was saying. Like now.

"–and Cass befriend me," she continued. "Now facebook is reminding me that I accidently liked his old picture, and my phone died, and I couldn’t undo it, and he saw! Which was sooo embarrassing I wanted to die. When I explained he just laughed on my face and liked a really ugly picture of me from high school in return, but I’m not stalking your brother.”

Azriel simple staring at her.

Mistaking his silence for doubt, she repeated herself. “I’m not!”

For some unknown reason, knowing she was blushing because of his brother unsettled him. Azriel knew Cassian well. A girl like Elain: pretty, young, and full of fire, was like a flame ready to attract his moth of a brother. Cassian was fast to be interested in girls like her, and even faster to grew bored of them.

"Don’t let my brother fool you, Archeron. He’ll break your heart.”

A slight frown took over her features.

"I can take care of myself, Marino."

"If you say so."

His mood soured.

Pulling a couple napkings from his pocket, Azriel pushed a few cups aside, cleaning a spot on the desk where he unceremoniously placed the gift upon, not bothering to explain what it was or what was it for, Elain's frown going from annoyed to confused as she watched him dissapair back into his office.

One minute latter her scream filled the entire floor, a scream followed by,

"Thank you, Marino! Thank you! I'll preserve it and use it wisely! Thank you!!!!"

Azriel bit a smile down, too perturbed by his own emotions to enjoy her reaction properly.

That day he realized something important about himself.

Something somewhat unsettling.

In his arduous quest to forget Morrigan, Azriel found himself thinking of a different woman entirely, a woman he had no business paying attention to, a woman infatuated with his brother. A woman who, unknown to himself, had began to drawn him to her crazy way of seeing the world, beguiling him to do something he had never done in his life.

Beguiling him act on a whim.

DAY 309

"When the clock strike midnight, I'll leave this old pinning Elain behind and make out with the first man that looks my way." Elain announced puffing her chest.

If someone asked him what possessed him to meddle in Elain's imaginary love life, he wouldn’t be able to tell. And if someone had told him her love life would turn into his love life, he would have laugh himself hoarse. But there he was, kissing her instead.

His fingers twisted in her hair and Azriel felt Elain growing lax against him, the frailest of whimpers escaping her throat as his tongue slid inside her mouth, the passionate slow kiss they shared at the strike of fireworks announcing midnight making his heart pound and his head throb.

He pulled away first, slight embarrassed by how rusted his tempo was, his breath frenetic and out of place as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. Elain didin't seem to care, chasing him closer as his head moves away. Azriel kept her at bay, the fist tightly wound in her hair holding her back. To calm himself he kissed her jawline; once, twice, thrice, his breath still erratic, agitated. For fucks sakes, why was he feeling so frenetic from kissing while seated?! God, his was out of shape. A kiss to a pulsing vein on her throat and Azriel came back to earth. He had descendent more than he meant, more than it was appropriated for a couple in an open public space.

His mind was a whirlwind of chaos and something very unexpected; want. Want hited him out of nowhere. The reality of what he’s done sinking in. He kissed Elain. He had kissed Elain Archeron and he liked it. Slowly, he disentangles his fingers from her hair, putting distance between their bodies, the soft hand with manicured nails, that were twisting the front of his shirt, letting him go, dropping back to her lap.

"Feeling in love yet?" the words are barely out of his mouth before he’s making a constipated expression. Jesus, Cassianism was beginning to rub on him.

The insult doesn’t land quite right with his voice coming out way breathier than before. Shit. The kiss was supposed to be a provocation. Azriel intended to give her a peck and prove her so called 'resolution' was bullshit.

Once again her crazy rambling appeared to be constructed on solid base, the young mouthy brat proving she was way more experienced in understanding relationships than him, even he was the only one between that had 10 years of experience to acount for.

When he approached Elain's lonely sullen self on the beanbag Azriel handn't meant to kiss her. Misery was the emotion bringing them close, not lust!

I'll just warn her off, he had told himself, simply console her that Cassian wasn't that big of a loss, that migling with him would amount to anything big in the end. Despite their constant disagreements, Elain was hardworking and passionate about her job, and Azriel would hate to lose an efficient employee because his brother couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. A pretty lie his mind carved to give him an excuse to approach her. Seeing Morrigan on his brother's arms was a blown on his progress of forgeting her, and no one here but Elain would be able pro properly share that misery with him.

Azriel was already miserable with himself for waking up sharing a hotel bed with Mor on the night before. In his defense, he had no idea how that happened. Fucking hell, one minute he was visiting a new pub with a friend, the next she was there in his face. He ignored her the best he could, drinking more than he should, his low tolerance for alcohol soon making his wasted. He remember Caleb called calling a cab, hands helping him inside the car, flashes on the elevator and her. No matter how loudly he reprehended or pushed her she did not bulgde.

No matter how hard he tried, Azriel could not remember bedding her, but the evidence was there, their clothes scattered across the room, his coat hung over some chair, a used condom beside his shoe. Fucking idiot, that's what he was. So much effort. So much effort for fucking nothing. No, he would not go down this road again.

It's fine, he thought pulling his pants on, it was a slip, a mistake he would not do again. From now on if he happen to frequent the same space as her Azriel would leave. Being confrontational have never worked with her, Morrigan's habilites to bend him surprising even Azriel. And then she appeared dating his fucking brother not even 24 hours aftwards, the same smiling idiot brother who claimed to have been dating her for months now.

His life was joke.

And so was Elain's.

She didn't know it, but Azriel had watched her pathetic attempt to confess her feelings after the Christmas party, feelings way to pure to be wasted on his heartless brother.

When Elain said her drunken goodbyes and waddled to the elevator, Azriel sat his drink aside and followed on the next one. He doubt she would be able to catch a cab by herself. Turned out she didn't have too, because Cassian had reached her before him, his tall frame nearly hidding Elain from view, a mass of honey curls peeking from his left side.

"I like you," she grabed the front of his shirt for support. "Lainy, don't do this." "Like, really, reaally like you... I think about you all the time." “Oh Lainy, this wouldn’t work.” His brother's voice disperse from where he stood untangling her fingers from the hand-painted shirt Elain had gifted him as secret santa. “We could try," she began shyly, nose red and eyes gliterry from champaign, her own gift - a knitted red scarf, wrapped around her neck. "You don't know it yet, but I'm a great girlfriend," she hiccuped slightly, "I can twerk on it." "You mean swear on it?" "That too." Cassian laughed. "I wouldn't work," he repeted. "Why not?" “You seem like a flowers and chocolate kind of girl, and I don't do flowers and chocolate." Elain was silent for a moment, thinking. "What if I'm lactose intolerant? I won't need that." Cassian ruffed a laugh. "You eat dairy all the time." "Uuurgh, what's wrong with flowers and chocolate? Everybody likes them." "I don't. They bore me. We're better like this, it's not everyday a tight little thing like you has a sense of humor, let's not mess that up, huh. Enough talking now, you're a goner. Give me your phone, I'll uber you."

If his love history with Morrigan wasn't so chaotic, Azriel would have notice that normal Cassian would never have pass to chance to have easy sex with a girl infatuated with him. But his love life sucked and Azriel did not notice, too busy moping about his latest stupid choice as he watched Cassian parading around and introducing Morrigan as his girlfriend, making him feel shittier than ever. Not only he had crawled back into her arms willingly, he had also betrayed his brother.

Fuck his life.

His phone blipped, an incoming message from an unsaved number.

Meet me at mine in 40 minutes.

And now she had his number again.

Fuck his life twice.

When did she get his number? Damn it. He stared at the other texts ignores throgh the day.

why did u leave??? we need to talk call me back enough is enough az i think the condom broke, call me asap

Nothing had broken, and he sure as hell was not calling her. She had used that excuse to reach him before, more than once, which was why he make sure to check it before leaving the hotel. A small hive of bees stabed his spine. He need to leave her presence that instant. Sighing, Azriel took Elain's hand and darted inside de house, searching for an empty room, having to make do with a filthy bathroom when he found none, wandering into another demented conversation with Elain before he could get to the point he wanted.

Her countdown speech had been stupid, but he was out of good ideas to try, and hell would be damned if he would crawl back to Morrigan again.

"Listen, I have a proposition to you. You want to get over my brother, and I want to get over her. I hate to admit, but that crazy talk about a lover might be exactly what I need to move on. What we need. So, instead of doing weird things with strangers, let's help each other, let's date and move on." The words poured out of him fast, courage threatening to leave at any moment.

Elain just stood there, paralyzed, silent, eyes big as saucers. Azriel had no memory of ever seeing her so quiet, but a yappy Elain going mute probably wasn't a good sign.

"Date me, Elain. Date me and I'll date you."

"Why - why me?" She asked in a small voice. "You say you don't hate me, but you don't like me either. We are not friends."

Good, a question. He could work with questions. Azriel was great with quizzes.

"I'm not my brother, I don't like one-nights, it's impersonal and I detest strangers in my space. It's hard for me to connect with people I don't know. You, I know you - you get on my nerves, but that’s just who you are as a person, I've learned to live with that. And kissing you... I enjoyed kissing you more than I anticipated.”

Her eyes cast down, cheeks growing warmer at the mention of their kiss. Azriel kissed her there, right on the bright pink cheek, starting close to her ear to make a line till the corner of her mouth where he nib the skin with intent, his nose desapearing in her soft flesh.

"You said to do different, right?"

She agreed wordlessly.

"Could you imagine me having a heart-to-heart, in a filthy bathroom, with you, of all people? This is me doing different."

Gently, he grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her again, pouring all his attention in Elain and Elain only.

Azriel wouldn't lie, their midnight kiss had been awkward at first, stiffy. Azriel wasn't used to kissing someone he had never managed to maintain a civilized conversation with. Truth be told, Azriel wasn't used to kiss anyone that was not Mor. Once the initial shock waved out, Azriel found himself enjoying the kiss, quickly learning the way Elain liked to be kissed, gently angling her head when their noses bumped, hissing at the sharp nib of teeth sinking in his bottom lip, goosebumps rising as her tongue moved over it to soothe the pain, moving slowly over his tongue next.

Kissing Elain was like nothing he had ever done; kissing her was impulsive, electric... disrupting. It made he feel… something, the sparkle of a feeling that had been dormant for so long he didn't know how to name it anymore. Passionate hands closed round his neck and hair, a sharp tug urging him to move where she wanted, guiding the kiss to her liking.

Elain kissed Azriel as if he was the last man to love in the world, kissed him as if she would never want to kiss anyone else. And Azriel found himself liking that very much.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 158 thoughts

i lied the hyperfixation took over and reanimated my body

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 15

Aqua Hoshigan Status: N/A

Usually when an OnK chapter ends on a bombshell like this one apparently does, I usually play a little coy as to my thoughts on it but I don't really see much point in doing that this time. This chapter basically is its final moment, with some swings taken at basically every other character on the way down so I don't see much point in separating it from the rest of the work. That said, my ultimate feelings on it will ultimately depend on how the story progresses past this moment so don't expect me to go too deeply into it for now. All I'll say at the top of the post is that I think this is deeply contrived and continues Akasaka's trend of seemingly beating every character with the dipshit stick in order to make a certain dramatic plot beat happen.

But it'll be pretty messy to follow if I get into the chapter's final scene right here and now, so let's rewind to the start and break down the rest of this chapter too. Don't worry, I have plenty of unpleasant things to say about it as well!!!!

Akane's here!! Actually in truth I had somehow forgotten that she'd cut her hair in the weeks since her last appearance so seeing her turn up with it so short kind of startled me for a second LOL

More AKKN yuribaiting… usually I eat up this kind of queerbait with a spoon because I am a simple creature but it doesn't really hit this time. I think it's because we're running through the Tokyo Blade arc in the anime right now and being reminded of how utterly electric their rivalry used to be makes the lack of meaningful follow-up and ultimate state of their relationship just kind of sad to me.

Seeing Akane and Ruby talking also feels kind of surreal given that it's almost 60 whole chapters since they've actually properly interacted onscreen… Like, obviously they were acting together in the Movie Arc and we can infer they had some offscreen chats then but… well, that's things we can infer, not something that's actually in the text of the story. Akane's involvement in the movie really was a total waste of potential, huh…

that said, wtf is akane even doing in miyazaki. girl who are you stalking this time.

Speaking of things that are weird, Ruby's hostile reaction to the idea of Akane getting a new boyfriend is… kind of bizarre, to the point where I literally have no idea where it's coming from?? Like, regardless of what this chapter tries to pretend, Ruby and Akane are absolutely not close enough for Ruby to feel upset at the prospect of Akane blowing her off in favour of boyfriend time. If anything, you'd think that having Aqua's ex-girlfriend definitively Out Of The Way would only be good on her eyes because it means one less obstacle between her and getting to shlonk her brother, but… apparently not???

The only way I can really make any sense of this is assuming this is the old and crusty "single girl getting jealous that her friend has a boyfriend at Christmas" joke, which I guess indirectly answers the question of whether or not anything AquRuby related has resolved in the Offscreen Dimension.

Anyway, Akane's chatter in this scene leads into something I've been kind of holding my tongue about in favour of waiting until it was addressed in the story and we're finally here - as previously predicted, this chapter starts on the note of attempting to assert that Ruby has 'become an idol who surpasses Ai' and you'll notice the way I phrased this because uh… no, she very much hasn't!

This idea of Ruby 'surpassing' Ai has been floating around in the story for a while now and as I've said before, unless OnK puts a huge amount of legwork into supporting that idea, I simply wouldn't believe it. It didn't, so I don't.

Not only is this assertion just half-heartedly plunked into the narrative - incredibly underwhelming for what should be a huge moment of triumph for Ruby - but the visual storytelling of the manga fails it as well. Like, compare this to similar moments from the very arc the anime is adapting this season - hell, in this very chapter, we see a panel of Kana's dazzling acting during Tokyo Blade. In comparison, the panels we see that supposedly show how Ruby has become an idol beyond compare… they just look like literally every other panel of any of the girls doing idol stuff. Hell, she looks distinctly less striking than some of Kana's performances as an idol and they certainly don't match or exceed the panels we've seen of Ai's spellbinding performances, which really undermines what the story is trying to say.

This is made even worse for the fact that the story has repeatedly pointed out that Ruby is the subject of incredible amounts of favoritism in the new B-Komachi - their boss is Literally Her Actual Mom who was explicitly called out by Ichigo for favoring work opportunities while leaving her fellow members out to dry. Members who, I feel the need to remind everyone, were scouted by her twin brother, not Ruby. Members whose careers as idols suffered during Ruby's clout chasing BH era because of her clout chasing and whose hurt feelings on this are framed as something Ruby is graciously forgiving about.

Like… I'm not saying it's impossible for Ruby to become an idol who outshines her mom, but this narrative as it's currently being presented in the manga falls flat for me because we never actually see Ruby face any kind of struggle on her road to doing this. Ai, Kana and Mem all face significant structural, social and industry-wide issues and toxicity that they must grapple with and overcome but Ruby just… does not?? Ever?? And given the way the narrative has framed Miyako's involvement in her career, the only conclusion I can draw is that Ruby is being shielded from all this by Miyako at the expense of the other girls. Especially because Ruby literally said so in 156!

Idk man. This whole chapter just sucks for basically every B-Komachi girl - that panel of the girls on stage where you literally can't even see Mem's face is so fucking miserable lmao. There was so much weight was placed on B-Komachi's togetherness as a trio of not just idols but friends who genuinely care for each other that seeing the story end up in this place of unironically indulging in all the same favoritism of Ruby and sidelining of her fellow members that Ichigo and Miyako did with the original B-Komachi is honestly just upsetting. Not only does it drag down Mem and Kana's stories, but it ends up making Ruby come off as a tremendously self-centered person in a way the narrative clearly does not understand and is uninterested in unpacking.

And like… bro, I don't want to be pissed off at Ruby!! Pre-BH Ruby is one of my favourite characters in the series!!! But the way she's been coddled by the narrative is deeply frustrating to read! It's frustrating to see everyone else's arcs compromised in favor of forcing this bizarre narrative about Ruby that doesn't even do any good for her either.

I can so easily see a better version of this story where Ruby surpasses Ai because she has so much support and faces none of the obstacles that Ai did, where the story is making a point of just how much further Ai could have gone and how much more she could've done if she hadn't been treated like such utter shit by everyone around her. But the point the story settles on seems to just be that Ruby is a better idol than Ai because she arbitrarily is not affected by societal and systemic oppression for no clearly articulated reason, I guess! You go, girl!

huffs. anyway.

Ruby's little monologue about the short-lived life of an idol also feels like the final nail in the coffin for the story being able to even pretend to do any meaningful industry commentary. Compared to how biting it was in the early arcs, it's a pretty standout representation with OnK's bizarre relationship with idol culture as of late, especially as pertains to Ruby's place in it. I can sort of get what I think Akasaka is going for here - it's part of the theme the story is leaning into lately of letting go of your past and moving towards a brighter future and this is how Ruby is coping with Kana's time in B-Komachi coming to an end. The point being made here is that change is inevitable no matter how you try to hold onto things and the only way to freeze yourself in stasis forever is to die.

But having this framed through the lens of Ruby talking so warmly about the impermanence of idols is just kind of… hello?? Ruby's framing here almost seems to treat the issue as some beautifully tragic but inevitable thing… and is very much is not! Idols age out of the industry because of its obsession with youth and beauty and the fetishization and commodification of virginial purity. Seeing Ruby frame it as this sad but natural thing when these fucked up purity standards literally killed her mom is just. What is going on here.

Speaking of baffling! Nino my girl, what are they doing to you…

I mentioned this in my chapter 155 thoughts that I felt extremely cold about the way the story was choosing to characterize Nino in the actual pages of the manga. I won't repeat myself too much but compared to the messed up but deeply human character we saw in 45510 and the RBKN conflict, this Nino honestly feels like a mean-spirited caricature, amped up to such dramatic extremes that she stops being a person and instead becomes a flat cartoon character used for moving the plot along. I loved Nino in 45510 and the Movie Arc so seeing her reduced to this psycho lesbian stereotype really stings.

also wtf is the manga trying to say with the 'since we killed ryosuke' bit. that was a whole ass suicide. this manga gives me such a headache sometimes.

Anyway. I can't talk around it anymore so. RIP Ruby, I guess. It was nice knowing you, but-

no but seriously, I'm holding my tongue on anything to do with this twist until next chapter because my actual thoughts will depend on how it plays out or if this is even really happening at all - which is NOT something i would even entertain as a possibility if oshi no ko was not the manga it currently is lol

But there's also the fact that, as others have pointed out, that panel of the stab is presented with faded colours and overly dramatic lighting in a way that is consistent with how OnK sometimes presents flashbacks or otherwise unreal visualizations. Given how incredibly dumb the entire cast - including Ruby - would have to be for this to actually, really happen, I'm withholding judgement until I see how this pans out.

That said. Man. I was really taken aback by how not just underwhelming but outright Not Good the actual panel of the stab is. The attempt to mine an emotional reaction out of the pre-existing iconic panel of Ai's murder just falls entirely flat because this version of it is worse in just about every regard. Ai's panel is composed beautifully, with the white petals and the motion of her body perfectly drawing the viewer's eye to the knife and the uncharacteristic expression of total shock on her face really hammers home the 'oh shit' moment. By contrast, Ruby's panel is flat with oceans of dead space despite being a much smaller panel and the actual stab has no weight to it, visually or otherwise. Ruby's body and face aren't reacting to it in the least - her expression is totally lifeless and she just looks like she's mid-stride, not that someone's just stabbed her in the gut. And to add insult to injury, the fucking layering on the killer's hand isn't even right. It's so obvious these two characters were drawn totally separately and pasted together afterwards and the entire moment falls flat as a result. Mengo, girl, what happened here!!!

and to add insult to injury. break next week. because why woudn't it be.

any of yall got ibuprofen

[kenposting]

New Guy Part 2! Ah!!!

Summary: Ken invites you over for dinner at his house - something you were greatly looking forward to! Until you noticed something was on his mind.

WC: 4.2k

AN: literally so many people asked me to write more and i just wanted to cry wtf .......... i just feel so silly like i just like him!!! and u guys like him too gosh i luv u guys!!!!!! wtf!!!

Read Part 1 here: New Guy

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀⋆˚✿˖°⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Ken was off today and you really, really missed him. For some reason. He brought a sort of light to the diner that was just not there before he arrived. Sure, he made zero fucking sense 90% of the time, but he didn’t take himself too seriously, and that was incredibly refreshing. 

The girls you worked with snickered behind him often, though, and you did pick up on his face whenever he saw them laugh at a question he had or an encouraging comment he’d make. He really was trying his best, but it seemed no one took that into consideration. 

Perhaps that’s why he asked you to come over after your shift today. You never laughed at him, you always answered his questions no matter how simple they were, and you actually spoke to him like you respected him. Because you do! 

It was an odd feeling to keep looking up at the clock. You didn’t have class since it was now Summertime (and neither did he, as important as studying Beach was to him) and, upon realizing Summer meant a break from college, he very hurriedly asked if that meant he could “take you out sometime – but, you know, only if you wanted to, I mean, I don’t want to make you feel pressured or anything…” 

He was so cute for whatever reason and you found yourself unable to let that go – it’s like he wasn’t real; like he hadn’t been tainted by the rest of the world. He cried – literally cried – the last time you were late for a shift because he thought something bad had happened to you. You promised you’d make it up to him however he wanted and all he could think of was asking you to teach him how to ride a bike. You didn’t know why he was like… that… and you didn’t worry yourself trying to figure it out. 

The directions he gave you to his apartment were drawn in crayon on the back of a paper placemat from work. He made sure to include a tiny house and tiny diner and lots of arrows. He knew the way well, too; as if he had recited it to himself lots of times. Maybe he was scared to forget where he lived. Now that you thought about it, he never drove, only ever walked, and he did say he was new to town when you met him a few months back. 

His house was tiny and sweet, only six short blocks from where the two of you worked. You could tell he took great care tending to it, even just by observing the front yard. It was blocked off by a metal gate and seemed to be an older home, simple and freshly painted eggshell white. He had planted flowers around the outside beside the front step before the small patch of grass began. 

You couldn’t see it, obviously, but he had been pacing around inside for half an hour, nervous about seeing you. And you seeing him. Did he look okay? Was his house okay? He was just beside himself, which didn’t go away at all when he heard a gentle knock at the door.

“Hey, Ken!” 

He stood meekly in front of you as you opened the door, nervously folding and wringing his hands together, scared to do or say something that would make a bad impression. He was nearly hiding behind the door. This was silly since you worked with him almost every day (and hung out with him almost every evening). You noticed a shift over the last few weeks – like his bubbly demeanor had subsided a little. It was probably your coworkers getting to him. 

“Thanks for having me over. I like it so far!” 

He smiled sheepishly and looked at the ground, a blush arising on his cheeks as he seemed to regain a little bit of himself at your presence. 

“Thanks! I’ll show you the rest of my mo–” 

He stopped himself, brows furrowed, like he was going to say something out of habit, but remembered something and decided against it.

“My house, but it will probably only take, like, five seconds. It’s pretty small.” 

He stepped aside, holding the door open for you (something ‘gentlemanly’ he had learned from observing other couples at the diner – he was proud he noticed this). You saw his hands shaking, but you appreciated the confident gesture anyways. 

You stepped in beside him as he closed the door behind you, taking in the scenery. His house was… definitely… something. 

“My friend Gloria helped me find it and even paid for the deposit so I could live here and work! I paid her back, of course.” 

He was confident in his home, it came across in his tone of voice. He had surely made it his own. It was loud as hell. The walls were a bright pink color, but somehow it kind of worked. 

“They helped me paint it too! Gloria and her groom-husband and their daughter.” 

Brushing past his bizarre choice of words (but what’s new, it’s Ken), you surprisingly felt relief within yourself at hearing she was married. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath on that one. 

Your eyes glanced around the place, taking in all of the little things that were so… him. It was like a frat house, but way nicer; cozier. He had shelving all around with little trinkets carefully placed everywhere, some of horses, some of small glass fish, and even some of tiny people. He had put so much thought into these scenes of humans just having fun, one shelf showing a scene of a bunch of friends playing beach volleyball and another showing guys in all black posed in various dance positions playing rock-paper-scissors. 

“Ken, this is so sweet. Did you make all this yourself?” 

He looked aside and blushed, shrugging off the compliment. 

The adjacent wall had framed photos of people dressed in what you assumed to be Halloween costumes. A scene of a fierce man in a gold tracksuit posed next to a blonde girl with a sparkly dress on, the framed photo sitting proudly next to a shot of a group of girls (and one boy) in a mock supreme court dressed in all pink jumpsuits. 

He opened his mouth to tell you about the people in the picture, but you watched as he teared up just thinking about them. It must’ve been a sensitive subject, so you thought it better to not ask. 

Above his (ridiculously messy) desk were tacked drawings on the wall. Crayon drawings. You saw him making them on his breaks. There were little doodles of horses, and some of people having fun at the beach, but mainly horses. You sensed a theme. 

“This section is for all the things people gave me when I came to the real world.” 

His voice was trembling a bit, like he missed them very dearly. Ignoring the ‘real world’ thing, you looked where he was gesturing to see a whole lot of unique and incredibly thoughtful gifts. A tiny disco ball, a small pink model car, a gag book called “Backflips for Dummies” where ‘dummies’ had been crossed out with marker and replaced with a handwritten ‘Ken’, a baby blue record player with matching pink headphones, a seashell, a tiny model campfire, a collection of various headbands, a pink first aid kit – it was just endless. He was clearly so very loved by these people. 

“And all of my furniture was made for me by carpenter Barbie!” 

The Barbie thing was ever-present in his descriptions of home. It didn’t bother you, really, but it was just… getting old. You knew it was just some bit, assuming he was calling his ex-girlfriends Barbies since his name was Ken. A classic joke, sure, but he had beaten it to death at this point. 

“Jeez, Ken, how many girls have you dated?” 

You were careful to come off playfully, never wanting to risk hurting his feelings. You got it, really. He was so sweet and charming, but it felt weird to hear about Carpenter Barbie and Lawyer Barbie – even Stereotypical Barbie. It wasn’t like him at all. His entire personality glowed with respect for everyone he's ever met, so why was he reducing his past loves to just their job title? 

“Oh… No, I haven’t ever… dated anyone before. Their names really were all Barbie, their careers were just how we’d all tell the difference when we were talking about them. I know things are different here. Even you – you’re not named Barbie.” 

You blinked at him. He knew you didn’t believe him, and it showed on his face, like he wanted so badly to just take your hand and introduce you to everyone. His genuineness was hard to pass over, but seriously? All of them were named Barbie? It didn’t make sense. And you supposed it didn’t have to. What did it matter – he lived here now, didn’t he?  

“It’s okay, Ken. Maybe I can meet them one day.” 

His ears pricked at that, stuffing that idea aside for later. It was Summertime, after all. Doesn’t everyone go on vacation for Summer? 

“Mmhm, I can take you!”

It was like he was trying not to fist-pump. He was always so animated. It was one of the very first things you noticed about him. “Anyways… I made dinner. I figured you’d be hungry after working so hard.” 

He stepped into his (tiny) dining area and for the first time, you got a good look at him. His house was kind of a lot – so much so that it had sort of overshadowed him, but as he stood there, the golden evening light from the window washing over him, you wondered how it had taken you so long to notice. 

He stood tall in the archway, wearing a gray pullover sweater, one you’d get at a university (but it had the Barbie logo embroidered on it). Light jeans were cuffed enough to show off his socks. He had swapped the usual white crew-style for patterned ones with little jellyfish all over them. His face was glowing in front of you and you felt yourself just wanting to leap towards him. He looked so cozy and soft and kind and handsome and – 

“I’m not sure what you like with it so I just kind of made everything…” 

You looked over his shoulder to see a rather extensive display of food. Still simple, though, nothing too extravagant, but it was clear he had put a lot of thought into everything. 

Most of his dishes were plastic (and heart-shaped) but you found that rather charming. He had made the same lunch your mom had made growing up, the one you had told him about just days before when he asked you what you’d be doing right now if you could be anywhere in the world. 

“Probably back home, but I’ve got rent to pay so I can’t travel for the Summer if it's longer than a day trip.” 

You remembered him looking so sad, like he was going to cry. The two of you were taking your lunch breaks together, as you did most days. You snacked while he drew horses with crayons on a napkin. He said he wasn’t hungry and that his head was hurting (probably because of the alcohol he’d ordered for the first time on your study date the night before). His cheek was squished, resting on his fist as he scribbled away, very focused. 

“What would you do at home?” 

“Have lunch with my mom at the kitchen table, soup and sandwiches. All the best things always happen at the kitchen table.” 

His face furrowed and scrunched as he put his whole heart into his drawing. His tongue even poked out a few times before he proudly showed it off to you. 

“My art teacher wants to put these in the gallery this weekend! She told me that my drawings perfectly capture the nostalgia of childhood, but I don’t know what those words mean.” 

You looked at him now, standing in front of you in his tiny little house, having prepared all of this just for you, remembering and holding on to everything you had passively told him. It was nearly maddening how kind he was – like you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop at any moment. There had to be a catch. There was no way this guy was real. 

He pulled a (baby blue) chair out, allowing you to sit first. You thanked him for putting all this work in, but he shrugged it off like it was nothing. It was like he was created just to serve the people around him. Even the girls at work that were mean to him – he’d pick up their shifts the second they didn’t feel like coming in and he spoke so highly of them, noting how they’d helped him to get the hang of his job. If only you could figure out this whole Barbie real-world thing, maybe you’d understand him a little better, but right now it all just seemed a little ridiculous – both the stories of his hometown and his chivalrous behavior. There was no way he was real. You’d pinch yourself to see if you’re dreaming, but that didn’t work the last twenty times, so really there’s no point. 

Seriously, though. What was his deal? You liked him so much – it just snuck up on you. You weren’t looking to be with anyone but you just couldn’t figure him out, and maybe you didn’t want to. Every guy you’d known had some bizarre at the least or toxic at the worst trait that came up eventually and you so desperately wanted him to be different. Now was as good a time as any to get it over with, rip the bandaid off, and be free of this false hope. 

“Hey, Ken…” 

“Hmm?” 

His mouth was full but he looked up at you immediately with a great intensity, like he was so concerned to make sure you were alright. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked at you, waiting (literally) on the edge of his seat. The seats were too small for him. He kind of towered over most of the things in his house, actually. It was like this was a little dollhouse and he had barely begun to outgrow it. 

“What’s with all of the Barbie and Ken stuff?” 

He just looked at you, confused at your question. 

You sighed. 

“I mean, you always say Barbies and Kens instead of just saying women and men. And you always talk about how this… place, this world, is different from your own. I really like you and I’m really trying to understand it but I just don’t get it.” 

He blinked at you, brows furrowing as he nearly choked on his food and tried to gather some sort of answer that wouldn’t further confuse you. 

“You… you like me?” 

You realized what you had said just moments before. It came as a shock to the both of you. You did like him. You liked him so much it was starting to annoy you, actually. 

You nodded, frustrated, like you were searching for some sort of explanation that wouldn’t further confuse him. 

“I do, I like you a lot. I think about you all the time, you’re so silly I just love being around you, you’re ridiculously handsome it’s actually absurd, you’re so good at your job and so kind and you try so hard in school, I love your drawings, I love eating lunch with you, I just love… you. All of you” 

You watched as his lip quivered. He had been trying to hold it in all evening but he just couldn't anymore. 

“You like me?!” 

He bit down on the inside of his lip to stop the shaking. 

“I like you! And I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long but I’ve just never felt this way and… And I just feel like I never know what I’m doing. This place is so different than back home and I always want to take some initiative to show you how I feel but I’m just scared I’m going to bother you and that didn’t work back home and it’s so weird having my own house and–” 

He sighed, looking up at you. 

“This world – this place is so hard to live in.” 

You watched the look on his face. It’s the same face he makes when things get a little too overwhelming. You had seen it before, most recently after he walked right in to a sliding glass door, despreately trying to convince you that they just don’t have those where he’s from. Some things like that are just hard for him. 

You nodded, placing a hand on his. 

“This place is hard to live in. I’ve felt that way my whole life. Like I don’t really fit anywhere and everyone around me knows what they’re doing except me.” 

He nodded so desperately, like you were the first person to ever really understand him. 

“But… Ken, if this place is so hard to live in, why did you come here? And why did you stay?” 

“I came here to figure out why I did what I did.” 

There it was. He answered so quickly, like he had been waiting to tell you this since he met you. You knew it was coming sooner or later. There was no way he was as kind as he seemed, and he was about to tell you about some insane or horrible or creepy or despiciable thing he did to some poor girl before skipping town to ‘find himself’. You’d heard it all before. 

“I really liked this girl back home and she didn’t feel the same way. Not even like she didn’t like me, she just… it was like I was a bother to her, and I was. I waited for her to show up everywhere I’d go and I just wanted her to like me too, but not even romantically. Just like me, as a person, respect me, acknowledge me, validate me, reject me even. She didn’t even do that, she just…” 

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Your jaw tightened, waiting to hear him say something he couldn’t ever take back. 

“Anyways… I didn’t mind that she didn’t like me, truly. I just hadn’t ever really thought about it before. Like we were meant to be together, but not in a good way – like it was planned and I couldn’t escape it. It was Barbie and Ken, there was no Just Ken.” 

Again, as bizarre as this whole Barbie and Ken thing was, his tone of voice was incredibly convincing. 

“But there is just Ken. I am Ken – and that’s it, that's good, but I didn’t know what that meant or who I was without spending my days just pining for her. After all that she came here to the real world and I wanted to as well. I didn’t come for her, I came for me. And I stayed for you.” 

He was crying now, tears slowly falling from his eyes, like he had been waiting for ages to find the words to explain all of this. 

“I mean… I came here to study. The first time I visited I learned about Patriarchy–” 

“The patriarchy.” 

“Right, the patriarchy, and I felt respected and seen, but I didn’t really get it. I tried to figure it out, I really did, but I couldn’t even do beach here and I kept getting arrested and I just... I just felt worse and worse so I…” 

His lower lip was really shaking now, like he had done something unforgivable. 

“I came home without Barbie and I let her get kidnapped by Mattel and I told all the Kens about what I saw and… and–” 

He was holding back actual sobs. 

“And I turned her dream house into a mojo dojo casa house for Kens only and I made Barbieland into Kendom Land Land of the Men and I made her listen to me play the guitar for, like, ever and ever and I just feel so bad about it all.” 

He took a shaky breath in, still clearly upset about everything. 

“But she was so nice to me about it when we finally talked. And then she came here, so I did too. I signed up for school so I could figure out why I did that and how to help other people realize what they’re feeling before they do something like that too. I know it was wrong and really mean, but I can also see that I was sad and I just liked her and I felt invisible and I didn’t even have a house.” 

He didn’t even have a house? 

“But now I do have a house! And I love learning about Beach and horses but what I really want is to do everything I can to help other people understand why this system doesn’t work, no matter who’s in charge. It didn’t work in Barbieland and it surely doesn’t work here either. It’s all ridiculous and it benefits no one, including those in power. It’s not fair, to guys or girls, to you, even. You can’t even go home during Summer because they barely pay you as much as they pay me just because you’re a girl, and I just started! You trained me! It’s absurd!” 

None of this was making any sense logically, but emotionally, all of it tracked. You felt the same way. You came here to understand the unhealthy behaviors in yourself and to try to help fix the system any way you could. 

“I love my house so much. I’m doing everything I can to figure out how I did something so crazy to all of the Barbies, but I won’t let it make me cynical or cold or mean anymore. I love being alive and even though people make fun of me for crying or blushing too much or asking stupid questions, I love being alive. I know it’s silly, but I love it, I love all of it. Every time you compliment me or help me with something or show me something new I just feel like I’m gonna explode. I don’t understand it, but I never even felt this way about Barbie – I don’t even know if I liked her, really, I think I was just programmed to act like it. I love seeing the older people that come in to work, they love each other so much and I just… I want that. That’s real and I want something real. I want more than a long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend bride-wife – I want what I see every day here. Like my friend Gloria and her groom-husband and everyone we see at work and at school. You know how people come into the diner every day – literally every day! – just to eat together? And hold hands? And look at each other for so long and just talk and laugh? I have no idea what that’s like, but I want to know so bad. I want to have that. And I want you to have that – even if it’s not with me! Even if you don’t feel the same way, you deserve a good groom-husband more than anyone I’ve ever met, it's absurd that no one is taking care of you!” 

He sighed, closing his eyes. 

“Sorry, what I’m, trying to say is, I just… I don’t understand it but all I want to do is spend time with you. I tried to ask some people at school what to do about... this feeling but their answers were so mean, like you were an object I was entitled to just take for myself. I tried to ask our coworkers but they told me you wouldn’t like me anyways and I believed them. I just… I don’t want to be... patriarchal about it and I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

A quiet fell over the place. You watched as little dust bunnies glittered around him. He had soup on his shirt. 

“Ken, I… I don’t know what to say.” 

You smiled, letting out a gentle laugh. He laughed too. You had been holding your breath at everything he was saying, a blush creeping over your ears. He was blushing too, mostly at himself for going off a little, but also at you. He could stare at you for hours. Most days he’s telling himself not to, straining his eyes away from you at work. His heart just ached when you spoke so kindly to customers or your coworkers or him. Gosh, when you spoke to him. He just melted every time, turning away from you as quickly as possible so you wouldn’t see him fall apart, just bashful. 

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing. And you’re damn good at it, too. If you’d asked me I’d say you’re the most experienced human I know.” 

Relief was painted on his face, a sense of calm falling over the two of you like a gentle, quiet snowfall. You really were the only one that understood him, but moreover, he was the only one that understood you. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing either, Ken. I don’t think anyone does. Everyone is just pretending, I promise. I watch the way those same couples spend their days just… existing together. It’s like they don’t have a care in the world when they’re next to each other and I feel that way when I’m with you. I also don’t know what I’m doing, but I can learn. We can learn. We can figure it out. And I don’t really understand the Barbies or Kens or Real World stuff you’re talking about most days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show me.” 

He looked so simple, sat right in front of you, and you watched as he smiled – like all of a sudden he wasn’t so confused anymore. 

“Do you know how to roller-blade?” 

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀⋆˚✿˖°⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

[saelterlude]

Happy first anniversary to the Link Click Musical!! To celebrate, here is a list of all the specials official recordings that they have given us!

Kay so starting with

Chinese Musical Promo Special Livestream: (I forgot the name of the event hehe)

Faith of Friendship by Wang Minhui and Cai Qi

Words Can't Convey My Love by Shu Rongbo and Wu Yihan (they play these two songs straight, but no worries its not the case for the other proper specials held by encore musical)

100th Performances Countdown Specials: (Yes, this week was a blessing)

Words Cant Convey My Love with LG-CXS swap (roles not character if that makes sense) by WMH, Bai Zhuoming and Wu Hanglu (dont you love seeing wmh cocky confidence slowly and surely crumbles lol, bzm got the rights to get mad at him in the end)

Words Cant Convey My Love with LG->CXS->the girl and QL-> LG by Du Guangyi, Wang Yifei, and Qian Anqi (lets be real wyf took us all by surprise with that entrance and the oh~. its also the source of shy lg in cxs jacket. dont forget the failed streamer disaster lmao)

Faith of Friendship with a push up bet for every ball missed by Teng Chunpeng and DGY (aksnsjks the stupid star formation is great, and the multiple failed shots plss. i love their goofy asses so much)

Forget About It with LG->CXS->QL->LG by WYH, Ding Xingchen and Deng Xialin (i love dxc's twin sister, shes pretty shes great. wyh being a hyper orange cat on stage is also great, dont forget the meme that came from it)

Forget About It with various dialects by Guo Hongxu, Ji Xiaokun and Cai Lu (its the closest thing we've got to how the actual performance goes! special mention go cl needing to read the lyrics off her phone)

As The Saying Goes with CXS as Chen Xiao and everyone else as CX's mom by CQ WMH, DXL, Zhang Jiahao and Zhu Jiayan (chickenchickenchicken, peak comedy, i love wmh going all asian mom lmaooo, yess scold cq into a chokehold!)

Valentine Special:

Words Cant Convey My Love with LG->the girl QL->LG and CXS as CX by DGY, TCP and WHL (dgy wjth the high pitched voice, the almost kiss, the fckin succulent, the fake retching, its perfect)

200th Performances Special:

Words Cant Convey My Love with CXS->Liu Meng, LG taking the confessing role and QL->LG by WMH, GHX and DXL (i love how cheeky ghx looks, and how everyone burst out laughing when he enters. ghx is just terrorizing wmh this whole performance)

300th Performances Special:

Trump Card with CXS and LG hanging by TCP, DGY, WHL, ZJY and Zhou Bo (dgy core strength took me by surprise, its a mess)

1 Year Anniversary Special:

This 15 minutes video contains: (watch me struggle to describe this loveable mess here)

Words Can't Convey My Love by ZJH, Guo Zheyan, and DXL with mahjong cameos (shiguang is in the walls. i promise, it makes sense, its chaos, i love it) by GHX, BZM, ZHB, YHL

Faith of Friendship (doubled! theres too many of them!! and zhb is so tiny wtf. none of them can shoot, wheres basketball god when you need him) by GHX, BZM, ZHB, YHL

Back to The Past by CQ and WMH with WMH belting it whilst a group of raincoat wearing menaces (GHX, ZHB, YHL, CQ) does some cult ritual nonsense. (i am not joking, wmh is singing this angsty song on the verge of tears and getting bullied)

Also, Dive Back in Time with everyone!! (its very cramped lmao)

Bonus! If you prefer it to Weibo, here is a YouTube playlist for the specials posted by niebo! Happy 1st anniversary Link Click Musical! I know I haven't keep up with the clip list but damn I gotta do something.