#this took about 15 hours to make in total save me

[b1ackpaws]

Teehee made this for an art project

[storytowrite]

|The FINE Art ~ Hwang Hyunjin|

Theme: Art Student! Hyunjin x Y/N

Warnings: mention of nudity, smut, 18+, unprotected sex, the age gap Y/N is 15 years older than Hyunjin.

Word Count: 5257

Summary: Life wasn’t easy for you. You lost your job, lost your husband who remarried and took everything away leaving you only with an old, sick cat. You desperately needed money. Thankfully, your friend is an art teacher and your body is quite tempting. Especially for the young, talented student.

------------------

“I’m sorry ma’am, but the cat needs surgery if you want it to live longer. We cannot wait long.” The vet said his verdict. Your old cat, Lemon, was ill, and you knew that. The thing was that you didn’t have enough money and you were in a really bad situation. 

“How much is for the surgery?” You asked. 

“It will cost about $3000 in total with all the care.” The vet answered your question and you sighed heavily. Why on Earth does it cost so much?! And more importantly - how will you gather all the money needed? 

“All right… If that’ll help him, please do everything you can. I can’t lose him too.” You said tiredly. 

“We’ll do everything we can to save this little boy.” The vet smiled at you honestly. 

You nodded and left your cat at the vet’s clinic. It wasn’t a good timing for such expenses, but you had to do everything you could to just save your animal. You sighed heavily once again. The previous week was hard and now this. Your life was a mess. You lost the job, since your boss decided to hire “some younger girls” and you were simply too old in his eyes. 

The divorce process was finally over. But unfortunately your ex-husband took everything he could, including your apartment. Because of this, you had to move in with your friend, at least until you get back on your feet again. Fortunately, Lina was happy to help you. 

You returned home wasted and without your cat, which you left at the veterinary clinic. You wanted to cry. Earning $3,000 in a short time seemed unrealistic. Well, because how to do it? 

"Oh Y/N are you back already?" Asked Lina peering at you from above another artwork she was working on. "Everything ok baby?" 

"No, nothing is ok. Lemon needs surgery and I don't have that much money to pay for it. And I still can't find a job. Everything is falling apart for me." You sat down heavily on the couch. "And I also need to find an apartment and..." 

"Woah, slow down honey. I don't mind your company. You and Lemon can stay with me as long as you need, after all, you know that.... And as for work, I think I have an idea." She smiled slightly at you. You knew that kind of smile from Lina's genre of brilliant ideas. 

"Oh no, why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" You asked, looking at your friend. 

"Don't exaggerate, it's nothing like that.... Besides, we'll both benefit from it." 

"Fine, what's the idea?" You asked, slightly curious. 

"Great... you'll love it!" She clapped her hands. 

After an hour of talking to your friend and her persuading you, you finally agreed to help her with her little project. Lina was a drawing teacher in the art department, and her students were just starting to learn how to sketch real people. They needed a model for this, since the topic was THE FEMALE BODY. 

At first you had a lot of concerns. Lina wanted you to pose nude in front of a group of some of her top students. You had huge objections to this. You didn't feel like showing your body to strangers in their twenties. But you had no choice. The deal was simple, 10 sessions at $300 each, for a maximum of five hours per class. That is, two weeks of work. You were able to do it, right? 

"I don't know Lina, I have to think about it..." You said, glancing at her. 

"Just don't make me wait too long for your answer.... Besides, you have a beautiful body for our age, so what's the problem?" She asked lightly. 

"What do you mean what's the problem? I'm supposed to show off to a group of 20-year-olds? After all, they are children!" 

"Honey, these are young adults. Besides, they are just a few people. I'd rather pay you than some strangers. Think of Lemon. He needs this operation.... And if you prove yourself, who knows? Maybe I'll hire you permanently?" She persuaded you further. 

" Oh, hell no... I'll find a job, eventually." You replied quickly. "But fine. I'll take part in it..." You agreed, sighing heavily. "Just so I don't regret it..." 

"Believe me, you won't and you'll even like it!" She replied excitedly. "We'll start first thing tomorrow morning! Prepare yourself properly, you know, shave and.... " 

"Okay, I'll prepare properly.... Anything else?" You asked in a tired voice, interrupting her sentence. 

"Hm... take some clothes to change into.... And well, put on some nice underwear. Tomorrow we start with the upper body. The students will sketch your torso and breasts above all. Well, and tie your hair in a ponytail, it will be easier to see your collarbones.... But that's at ease, I'll tell you everything exactly tomorrow." She grinned. "Go rest, I still have to finish here." 

You sighed heavily and went straight to the bathroom, following your friend's directions. You still weren't convinced about the idea, but the situation forced you to do so. You felt stress above all. You may have had a nice, fit body, but you certainly weren't used to showing it to strangers. 

After a long and warm shower, you headed to your bedroom, where you fell asleep rather quickly. The next day would be a very long one... 

The next day you got up early, got dressed and did light makeup. You left your hair loose, for now at least. Later you'll tie it up in a ponytail. Your friend had already been bustling around in the kitchen since morning. 

"Good morning! Ready for today's challenges?" Asked a delighted Lina. 

"Mhm, I won't be any more than I am." You muttered uneasily. 

"Oh grumpy... Come on, or we'll be late." Lina didn't seem to mind your dissatisfaction. 

"And breakfast?" You asked. 

"We don't have time... you'll get something on the spot." Your friend waved her hand and pulled you with her to the exit. You left her apartment and headed for the car. The trip to the university didn't take long, but you were getting more and more stressed with each passing moment. No wonder, after all, you will be posing naked.... 

You entered the university and headed straight to the room where the classes would be held. Lina showed you everything inside and once again reminded you what to do and how to do it. Your task was quite simple. All you had to do was show some breasts and sit still on a stool for a good couple of hours. 

The students began to fill the room, and you heard Lina greeting them cheerfully. You sighed quietly. It's going to be a long couple of hours. 

"Dear students, I have a little surprise for you today." You heard your friend's words. "A good friend of mine has agreed to get herself acquainted with us. As I said, you will learn sketching on a living organism.... Y/N come join us and show yourself to our students." 

You took a deeper breath and stepped out from behind the screen. You stressed all over. You stood in the middle, right next to your friend, trying not to catch eye contact with any of the students in the room. 

You quickly swept your eyes around the room. There were eight students in the classroom, three girls and five boys. They looked rather uninterested. You glanced out of the corner of your eye at Lina, who continued her argument. 

"Y/N will be our model today. Please be nice to her, she has never done this before. Today we'll take care of the upper body. Your task is to reproduce Y/N's torso and breasts. We sketch from the neck until we reach this point." Lina showed them exactly how much to sketch. "Y/N honey, take off your top and bra and sit on the stool. Do any of you have any questions?" 

The students did not answer Lina's question. You, on the other hand, with slightly trembling hands, undressed from the waist up and sat on the stool. Your friend even gave you a pillow to make you more comfortable. 

"Great, push your breasts out a little more and..." Lina began to correct your positioning. "Perfect! Okay darlings, you can begin." 

The group of students got down to sketching. You swept your eyes around the room. Everyone was focused to make the best possible representation of your body. Lina walked among the students and glanced at their progress. 

Time passed quickly. The students worked in silence. None of them had spoken a word since they entered the room. They were focused on the task at hand. 

One of the men present in the room caught your attention. You had never seen such a handsome man before. He had noble features, his hair was slightly longer and black. He had an earring under his eyebrow, and a black leather jacket perfectly framed his body. 

You swallowed your saliva. The man looked like a prince, and there was plenty of finesse and elegance in his movements. You honestly couldn't take your eyes off him. There was something about him that attracted you to him, something magnetic that you could not describe in words. 

The man in question noticed your gaze. It was as if he sensed that you were looking at him. He raised his gaze slightly, looking deeply into your eyes, and gently raised his eyebrow. You felt a blush appear on your face and your throat suddenly became dry. A strange feeling welled up in your lower abdomen as he smiled slightly and winked at you. 

"All right my dears. Let's take a break for a while." Lina suddenly announced, breaking the silence that had prevailed. "Let's let Y/N stretch her legs.... Come back here in 15 minutes and we'll continue." 

The students put down their sketches and began to leave the room for the break, and Lina handed you a sweatshirt to cover yourself. She smiled warmly at you in the process. 

"Well? Not so bad, huh?" She asked. 

"It's fine... Although I was stressed." You replied and took a sip of water. "Your students aren't very talkative, are they?" 

"As artists are." 

"I thought there would be more students in the room." You said, sipping water again. 

"Nah, I have a small group. But they are the best of the best.... You could say it's such a VIP class." Lina laughed. "You know, it's an extra class for the more ambitious ones." 

"Oh, now I understand..." You nodded, and your thoughts fled to the mysterious boy with an earring under his eyebrow. 

"Would you like to take a peek at the sketches? The students really sketched your body very well..." Lina took one sketchbook in her hand, belonging to the boy you were looking at. "Oh look, Hyunjin did it the best. That boy can perfectly render every detail.... He's my top-of-the-class student." She smiled proudly. So the boy's name was Hyunjin. 

"Wow... This is amazing." You said, sincerely impressed by the way Hyunjin rendered all the details. He even sketched the delicate birthmark you had under your breast. 

"Right?" Lina asked. "If you ask Hyunjin nicely, he might give you his sketch..." She winked. "He has a real talent, and by the way he looks like Aphrodite herself conceived him. He could be a model, but there's a rule at the university that students can't pose, which is a shame..." She sighed quietly. "I myself sometimes wish I could see..." 

"Lina! This is your student..." reprimanded your friend. 

"I know, that's why I leave some things only in dreams." She laughed quietly. "Hungry? I'll get you something to eat." As she said, so she did, quickly leaving the room.

You sighed softly and your stomach growled. Not eating breakfast before leaving was a mistake. You glanced at your watch. The break was slowly coming to an end and your friend had not yet returned with the promised food. In turn, students slowly began to return to the room.

"Hungry?" You suddenly heard a voice behind you. You turned to look at the owner. In front of you stood Hyunjin, who was a head taller than you. He smiled slightly and handed you a banana. "Eat... you've got another 2.5 hours of sitting ahead of you."

“T-Thank you…” You said, taking the banana from him and peeling it right away.

"You welcome... I wanted to say that you have really beautiful breasts." He said, looking you straight in the eye. "I can't wait for the next few days to see the rest."

"Oh thank you?" You replied slightly confused and blushed slightly.

"Nothing." Hyunjin winked at you. 

"Okay, guys! We can get back to work!" Lina called as she entered the room. "Y/N, please sit down the same way you sat before. Perfect! Remember, there are 2.5 hours left until the end of time. At the end of the day, you should have at least five sketches."

Everyone went back to work. The banana Hyunjin gave you, calmed your stomach for a while. You sighed quietly, sitting half-naked on the stool. Honestly, you were counting down the minutes until the end. 

Every now and then you found yourself staring at Hyunjin, who was working intently on the sketches of your body. You couldn't take your eyes off him. He was too handsome to resist. You didn't even feel that time had passed quickly. 

Lina announced the end of class and let you get dressed. Students slowly began to file out of the room. You watched them leave, saying a quiet 'goodbye'. Your friend approached you after everyone else had left the room."You were great today." She grinned. 

"I'm taking you to dinner, come on! And mentally prepare for tomorrow. We'll show them a little more... Can you handle it?"

"Yes, I think I can... Although I don't know if I want to show them everything." You started.

"Well, tomorrow's plan is legs... you can have a thong, we'll move on to the private parts at the end of the week, and next week we'll have poses... Well, I think you should be able to handle everything easily." Lina continued.

“Mhm, if you say so…” You muttered. The prospect of showing your private parts to students didn't make you feel optimistic, but when you thought about Hyunjin, it didn't sound so bad either...

—-------------------

The week flew by very quickly. The students tried to accurately portray all the details of your body on paper. On Friday, the last day of the first week, there was a class on sketching 'private body parts', as Lina called it. And that meant you had to show your vagina. 

The thought of this did not fill you with any optimism at all. You didn't want to expose yourself so much in front of the students, but Lina forced it on you. To be fair, she did suggest that she would pay you more for the day, so with a slight hesitation you agreed. 

You sat in the room wrapped only in a silk dressing gown and waited for the class to start. Your friend went to talk to the dean, leaving you alone. You sighed quietly and stuck your gaze into your phone, trying to calm your thoughts. 

Hyunjin entered the room, but you were so busy with your social media that you didn't notice his presence. The boy walked over to his stand and unpacked all the necessary items before turning towards you. 

"Hi pretty." He said in a velvety voice, snapping you out of your activity. "What are you going to show us today?" He asked and winked slightly. 

"Ekhm... Private parts." You replied feeling a little intimidated, looking up at him. 

"And you're convinced about that?" He asked. "You look confused and scared." 

"Well, it's certainly quite a step out of my comfort zone.... But I can't back down now." You answered honestly. 

"I understand... If it's any comfort to you, I'll try to replicate everything very accurately." He smiled.

"Thanks I guess..." She grunted. "I've seen your work before. You have great talent," he said. 

"Thank you, beautiful." He smiled warmly at you. "But the credit goes to the model I sketch." He winked, and a blush appeared on your cheeks. "It suits you this colour, you know? I wish I could paint a picture of you. In a red see-through nightgown.... What do you think?" 

"A painting?" You blinked, not expecting such a proposal. "I don't know..." 

"I have to create a portfolio for the final exam.... I've already painted three paintings of my friends, but I still have one left. And you are beautiful. I'll pay." He replied, watching your reaction. 

"I have to think about it..." You replied, but didn't finish the sentence because he walked in on you in mid-word. 

"I understand." He replied and wrote something down on a piece of paper. " Here, this is my phone number, if you make a decision, just text me..." He handed you a small piece of paper with the number on it. "Just don't make me wait too long for an answer, lovely." 

"R-right." You replied and hid his number in a safe place. 

The rest of the students entered the room, along with your friend, who smiled broadly at you. She welcomed the students and gave them the guidelines for the assignment. 

"Well Y/N. Sit with your hands behind your back and push your chest forward a little too. And spread your legs..." She said to you and helped you adjust your position. "My dears, you may begin. "

Sitting apart in front of a group of people has not been one of the most comfortable activities in your life. However, you didn't pay much attention to it yourself. Your thoughts were consumed with Hyunjin's proposal. Should you accept it? He said he would pay, and so far there was no indication that you would find a job.... 

You decided to give it a chance and agree to his proposal. After all, it's just another day's work as a "model." You survived a whole week in front of students, you'll survive being alone with Hyunjin too. 

Before you knew it, the class was over and the students had left the room, and you were free to get dressed. Lina was still talking to individuals while you typed Hyunjin's number into your phone. You made up your mind and as soon as he left the room, you texted him. 

[Y/N]

Ok. I agree.... When do you want to do it? ~ Y/N

[Hyunjin] 

Wonderful news sweetheart! Let's meet tomorrow evening at my place. Remember, red nightgown 😘

 He wrote back almost immediately. You swallowed your saliva. What are you actually doing? 

—-------------------

The next day you went to the address Hyunjin sent you in a text message. You were stressed. You didn't know what it should look like or how long it would take. Your body trembled and your mind wandered into dangerous territory. You felt both apprehension and excitement about the whole situation. 

You stood in front of the door of his apartment. You took a few deep breaths and knocked gently. You waited, listening for the sound of footsteps. After a while, the young man opened the door for you and let you in with a smile. 

"I'm glad you agreed." He said, taking over your coat from you. "Make yourself comfortable... Would you like something to drink before we start? Coffee? Tea? Water? Maybe wine?" 

"Water is enough... Although I won't actually despise wine either." You replied and timidly entered his living room. 

The room was large, definitely bigger than your friend's entire apartment. Not surprising, after all, Hyunjin lived in one of the more expensive neighbourhoods in your city. The white leather furniture, laced with gold accessories, perfectly matched the aura that this man was producing. Everything seemed truly royal. 

"Wow." You gasped in awe. 

"Do you like it? My parents made sure I was comfortable in the city.... Would you like a tour of the apartment?" He asked, handing you a glass of red wine. 

"I'd love to... If I can, of course." You accepted the drink from him and took a sip. 

The boy showed you his entire apartment. He had three bedrooms, but he had transformed one into a studio, and the other was used as a dressing room. 

"Okay, ready for us to start?" He asked as you walked through the apartment.

"I think so." You replied hesitantly.

"Great!" He smiled broadly. "Come on, I'll paint you in the studio... I'll get everything ready and you can go and change in the bathroom. Leave when you're ready. It'll take me a while to paint though... It'll take all weekend, actually. But like I said, I'll pay. $1000 is enough?"

"H-how much?" You were stunned when you heard the amount he gave.

“If it's not enough, just tell me…” He replied, watching you.

"Not enough? I didn't expect it to be so much..." You started. "It's too much…"

"Hmm... I don't think so." He shrugged. "We'll talk about it later... You can go change in the bathroom now and I'll set everything ready here." He said, unimpressed.

“Sure…” You replied and headed to the bathroom.  $1000 to pose? You were shocked. How much money does this young man actually have? 

After a few minutes you were ready. You looked at your reflection in the mirror. You were wearing a slightly see-through red nightgown that hugged your body perfectly and highlighted all your curves. You decided to leave your hair down, but you put a small decoration in it. You fixed your delicate makeup and went out to Hyunjin.

"Wow, you look amazing." He said as soon as he noticed you. "Like I said, this colour suits you very well."

"Thank you." You replied, slightly embarrassed.

"Okay, you can lie down." He pointed to a small sofa in the center of the room. "I would like you to lie down comfortably, and if you want to sleep, just close your eyes. The only thing that matters is that you stay in the position I put you in."

“Sure, I can do it…” You replied and followed his directions. You settled into a comfortable position on the sofa and Hyunjin stood over you. He leaned down gently and positioned your body. His touch was pleasant. You felt the nice warmth radiating from his body.

"Perfect." He said and smiled contentedly. "Okay, let's get started. If you want a break then say so." 

Hyunjin began to paint. You lay there without moving, watching his every move. You began to wonder how it was that your life had brought you to the point where you were. 

Hyunjin painted in concentration, and there was silence between the two of you. You didn't seem to mind. You felt your eyelids become heavy and you didn't even know when you fell asleep. 

You woke up after some time and stretched slightly. It was already twilight outside. You looked around the room you were in. Hyunjin was nowhere to be found. You stood up and stretched your stagnant body again. You were curious to see how Hyunjin's progress was going, but before you could get closer to the painting, the door of the room opened. 

"Oh, you're awake already." Hyunjin smiled slightly. "Hungry? Come, I've prepared dinner." 

Only when the boy mentioned food did you feel that you were actually hungry. You followed him into the kitchen, where delicious smells were coming from. 

"You are handsome, you paint and you cook. Is there anything you can't do?" You asked, sitting down at the table. Hyunjin glanced at you laughing. 

"Thank you for the compliment, beautiful." He winked, at which you blushed. He served you dinner and you began to eat. 

"Enough with the painting for today, it's late." Hyunjin said. "If you want, you can stay the night.... We'll start again first thing tomorrow morning anyway." 

"I don't want to get..." You started. 

"But that's not up for discussion." He interrupted you in mid-sentence. "It's late, I don't want you to go home when it's dark outside.... I'll prepare a bed for you." 

"Hyunjin, but really..." You started again but his one look left you unsure what to say next. "Okay. I'll stay the night." 

"Great." He smiled at you. "Come on, I'll give you something to sleep on..." 

" You know, after all, I can sleep in what I'm wearing." You replied while watching him. 

"Believe me, if you stay in this red nightgown, I won't hold back."  He replied with full seriousness. 

"Oh..." You made a sound. " All right..." 

You followed him to his dressing room, which occupied the other room. Hyunjin walked over to a cabinet and pulled out an oversized hoodie and handed it to you. "It should fit." He smiled slightly. 

"Thank you." You replied with a slight smile. "I'll take a shower." 

Hyunjin nodded and you parted the rooms. You went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, and a pleasant feeling once again settled in your lower abdomen. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was in the bedroom preparing a place for you to sleep. 

After some time, you came out of the bathroom in his hoodie. You could smell his perfume lingering on his clothes. You smiled slightly, to yourself. His scent was so soothing. 

"Do you like the smell?" You suddenly heard his voice behind you, at which you jumped slightly. 

"Y-yes." You stuttered, at which the boy smiled. 

"I have to say, no matter what you're wearing, you're every bit as beautiful." He said, walking closer to you. "I like you Y/N." 

"Thank you, I guess..." You took a gentle step back unsure of where this conversation was leading. 

"When I say I like you, I really mean it." Hyunjin leaned slightly over you and brushed lightly against your waist. You swallowed your saliva as you looked straight into his eyes, your back resting against the wall. Hyunjin was leaning with his hand right next to your head and his body was leaning against yours. You bit your lip slightly and gently moved your legs, feeling yourself slowly getting wet. The situation you found yourself in was definitely not on your bingo card. 

"Hyunjin, we don't..." You began, trying to keep up any semblance of a smile yet. However, his closeness and magnetic scent were too tempting to resist. 

"Shhhsh." The boy moved his thumb over your swollen lips. "You don't even realise how sexy you look right now." He whispered in your ear while biting your earlobe, which was met with a quiet sigh that left your lips. You felt his gentle smile as he moved closer to your neck and gently moved his velvety lips across it. "You like it." He stated, observing your reaction to his touch. "I wonder if you'll like this too." He added and moved his hands a little lower, slipping them under the hoodie. 

"Hyunjin, it's not..." You started, but feeling his long fingers glide across your skin, leaving goosebumps on it, you were unable to control your senses. Hyunjin's lips attacked your neck more boldly, and you tilted your head further back so he could have better access. 

Hyunjin glided his lips along your neck looking for weak spots, and once he found them, he immediately started leaving red hickeys in those spots, which was met with your moans of approval. 

You rested your hands on his torso, and the young man delicately lifted you up, grabbing your buttocks. You put your legs around his waist as his lips found their way right to yours. 

"I want you." He whispered, brushing his lips lightly against yours. "And I know you want me too. Say it." 

"Please." You said quietly. 

"You're asking? For what?" He asked backing away slightly which was met with your disapproval. 

"Kiss me, please." You moaned pleadingly. Hyunjin smiled at you and pressed his lips into yours. His kiss was firm and forceful, but that's what you liked best. You moaned blissfully into his mouth as he grabbed your buttocks tighter. Hyunjin took this as a sign of approval and carried you to his bedroom. 

Hyunjin put you on the bed immediately, finding himself above you. His knee came between your legs pressing lightly on your spot. He leaned over a little more and cupped your hoodie with his hands. 

"You are phenomenal." He said, watching you. His hands moved over every bare patch of your body, exploring every inch of it. Following his hands, Hyunjin placed you on the bed immediately finding himself over you. His knee came between your legs pressing lightly on your spot. He leaned over a little more and cupped your hoodie with his hands. His hands moved over every bare patch of your body, exploring every inch of it. His hands were followed by his lips, which also explored your body. He left wet footprints in his path, interspersed with huge hickeys. 

You moaned blissfully when his lips found their way to your lower abdomen. You felt his smile against your skin. Hyunjin gently spread your legs and moved his hand over your core. Your reaction encouraged him to continue. 

He bit lightly on the inside of your thighs, which was met with your slight jump. His strong hands, however, held your body as his mouth took up your pussy, embracing it completely. 

You moaned loudly and slid your hand into his hair. You pulled his hair gently as his tongue penetrated your insides, melting with pleasure. 

Hyunjin drove you to pleasure, and your body arched in an accompaniment of moans. The young man licked and returned his lips to your mouth, kissing you. You immediately responded to his kiss, hungry for his velvety lips. 

Your hands moved over his body. You wanted to get rid of his clothes as quickly as possible. Hyunjin laughed quietly. 

"So eager, huh? Patience darling, be good and you'll get what you deserve." He said amused and helped you undress himself. Once he was standing naked, you moved your hands over his penis, which was already ready for use. "I don't have condoms..." The boy began. 

" Doesn't matter, I want to feel you, now, right now, please!" You moaned needily. 

"I like the way you are asking." He snarled quietly and slid his full length into you. 

"Oh yes!" You whined loudly and moved your hands down his back as he began to move. 

His movements became faster and less precise. He went deep, perfectly attacking your g-spot. Your and his moans filled the entire room.

"Hyunjin! I…" You started digging your nails into his soft skin.

"Come on baby, cum for me." He groaned loudly. "Fuck!"

"I'm cumming!" You moaned loudly, clenching around him. 

A few seconds later, you felt warmth spreading through your insides. Hyunjin collapsed on top of you after a moment, his head resting between your full breasts. You were both breathing heavily.

“You are my muse." He murmured after a while. "Be my muse forever?"

"With pure pleasure." You replied quietly, gently stroking his back, making him smile.

"You know what? You are the FINE art." He said. "My muse."

And After an eventful night, you both fell asleep cuddling together.

-> Masterlist

[winchester-24]

Imagine You couldn’t save everyone on the last hunt, and Dean is there for you.

You and the boys had been tailing this Shtriga for two weeks. You would get close to it, then it would escape, and then it would hop somewhere different. It has already put a total of 14 kids in the hospital, and you were hoping it would be greedy and try to get one more kid before it disappeared again for who knows how long. It was now in a small town and had already taken the younger sibling of two girls, and you are betting it would be going after the oldest tonight.

At the motel room, you, Dean, and Sam were finishing up packing the gear you wanted to take and going over the plan one more time. You were acting as a detective earlier that day and were able to set a camera up in the girl’s room. You three would sneak in and wait for the Shtriga to come and then kill it before it could escape again. Everyone was on edge; this thing has been escaping you guys for the past two weeks, but everyone is determined not to let it get away this time.

“You okay?” Dean asks as you look out the motel window, lost in your thoughts as they load up the car. You turned to your boyfriend of just about six months and smiled at him.

“I’m good; I just really want to get this son of a bitch and go home.” Dean came over and wrapped his arms around you and then gave you a quick kiss on the lips, which you returned to him immediately. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he hugged you.

“We will get him, and then 15 kids will wake up, and we will get to celebrate a job well done.” You smiled at him before Sam coughed and muttered, “We are good to go.” You giggled and kissed Dean one more time before hurrying out to the Impala after Sam.

Hours after you guys arrived at the house, you finally noticed movement in the window. You hit Dean softly on the arm and pointed to where you were seeing the Shtriga. All three of you took the safety off of your guns and were waiting for it to start feeding. Your heart was beating, and nerves were beginning to kick in. There was an 11-year-old girl in the room, and her safety was a top priority. Your job was to get to her while Sam and Dean would shoot at the Shtriga. You would have to crawl quickly, but you would be able to make sure she stayed down and out of harm's way.

Dean squeezed your hand before letting go and slowly standing up, and you and Sam followed suit. You were the first to go in that way. You didn’t have these two men blocking you from getting to the girl. You three watched as the Shtriga began feeding.

“Now, now!” Dean whispered and yelled. You hustled to the door, slammed it open, and quickly dropped to the floor to get to the girl. The Shtriga looked up as Sam and Dean let off rounds. The girl screamed, and you pulled her down to the ground with you.

“It’s okay; I’m going to get you out of here.” You say to the shaking girl. “I need you to stay low to the ground and crawl with me, okay?” The girl crying nodded, and you two began to make your way across the room. Something grabbed your ankle and pulled you back; you let out a little scream and tried to turn to face what was pulling you.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled. You tried to kick at the Shtriga, but it wouldn’t let go of you. It grabbed your shirt and flew you against the wall. Your vision got hazy as you hit your head. You heard the little girl scream for her dad while you tried to stand up. Between trying to focus your vision back, you see Dean on the other side of the room groaning, holding his side, and Sam knocked out by the door. You see the Shtriga quickly move towards the little girl, pin her down, and start to retake her life force. You groan and try to get up quickly.

You hear a new voice. “Hey! Get off my daughter!” The dad comes in, trying to push the Shtriga off of his daughter, who takes hold of his shirt and flings him into the other room. You hear a bunch of clattering and hope the dad is okay.

On your feet, you yell for the Shtriga gun already raised. “Hey, bitch!” You yell. The Shtriga slightly turns towards you, still feeding on the girl. You shoot. The Shtriga’s head jerks back as you shoot straight in the forehead, and it stumbles away from the girl and falls on its back on the floor. You run to the girl and immediately put your fingers to her neck, trying to find a pulse. It’s faint. You let out a shaky breath; she is safe. You look up to Dean to celebrate this, but he isn’t in the room. You look around frantically, thinking something happened that you missed, but you catch a glimpse of him in the other room. He is kneeling by the girl's father. A pit forms in your stomach. He looks up and makes eye contact with you, then shakes his head. Fuck.

The ride back to the hotel room was quiet. The death of the father weighs on everyone. For you, you take it personally more than the boys. It was your job to get the girl to safety. If you did your job and got her out of the room like you were supposed to, then there was no reason for the dad to be there. He would be holding his little girl right now instead of a paramedic trying to tell her that her dad is never coming back. Were you being irrational with yourself? Of course. But this is what you do. You take it personally when you can’t save everyone- especially families. Dean’s jaw was clenched the entire time back to the motel; you knew he was upset. You couldn't guess whether he was upset at you or the hunt in general, but if you were him, you would be mad at you, too. You messed this up; you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do, and a father paid the price. Sam kept glancing at Dean and you. He was upset, but he knows how you and Dean are when a hunt is not perfect. You either take it out on each other or yourselves. Sometimes both.  It was one of the many things you had in common, but this trait was the most toxic one you two shared. He was waiting for the bomb to blow because the fuse had already been set.

Dean got out of the Impala quickly and quietly. Sam waited a second to see if you would do the same, but when you didn’t, he turned around to face you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked you. You looked up at him.

“No, Sammy, I’m good.” He knew arguing with you would get nowhere, so he just nodded his head and got out. You sat there for a few minutes alone in silence, letting the demons take over your thoughts about how you fucked this up. It was your fault that family is torn apart now and that their lives are changed for the worse because you couldn’t manage to kick an old hag’s hand off of your ankle. You tilted your head back, not daring to let one tear fall, and let out a shaky breath. You closed your eyes, trying to regulate yourself, when the back door on the other side of the impala opened. You smelt him before he was even in the car.

Dean slid in the back and looked at you. There was tension as you both waited to see if this would be a conversation or an argument. You made the first move.

“I fucked up, I know.” You said, finally looking over at him. His gaze on you was intense as if he were trying to read you to figure out what he needed to be and do at that moment. When you said that, his gaze softened, and his shoulders relaxed.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t on you.” He said.

“It was my job to get her out of there. If I had done my job right, the dad would have never come into that room,” you said.

“You don’t know that; he could have come back in there to try to take care of the three intruders in his house for all we know. He was protecting his child, something any good father would do.” You looked out the window and mumbled.

“It’s our job to protect them.” Dean grabbed your hand, and when you didn’t pull away, he laced your fingers together. You looked back over at him, tears threatening to spill, but you'll be damned if you are weak right now; you don’t deserve it.

“I know I’m a hypocrite saying this because I do the same thing,” Dean started, “but we can't save everyone; you did everything that you could do at that moment, and when you didn’t get up at first, I was scared for a moment that you hit your head a little too hard, and I lost concentration on what we were there for. My only thought was to get to you and ensure you were okay. I could have grabbed the girl and taken her out, but in my moment of weakness, it grabbed me and threw me. I am as much to blame for that father as you and Sam. We take this blame together, learn from it, and move on. You are a damn good hunter, but it's insanity to think that we can save everyone from everything.”

You let one tear slip, then another, then another, until you were full-on crying but not daring to make a sound.

“Oh, baby,” Dean said, pulling you to him. He twisted himself on the seat so you could lean your head in his chest as he held you close. He rubbed your back with his hand as he kissed the top of your head. You two sat there in this position until the tears stopped, and the only thing you could hear was each other’s breathing. You looked up at him.

“Thank you.” You said as you wiped your runny nose with your sleeve. He gave you a soft smile.

“I know I’m not perfect, but I promise I’m always going to be here for you, sweetheart. You mean everything to me.” You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

“Let's go inside and get some rest, okay?” You say as you scoot away from him. He nods his head, and you both get out. You meet at the front of the Impala, where he grabs and holds your hand as you walk to the motel room.

Not every hunt will be perfect, but at least you have the best comforter to help you through it.

[veryace-ficrecs]

Tim Joins the BatFam Early Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

the butler's neighbor by deargalileo - Rated G

it starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne's property. it's alfred's job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more.

after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds?

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting by Scarlet_Ribbons - Rated T

Bruce grunts, standing up. “Jenkins said the same. What about what you weren’t told?” And without dissembling, Jason says, “I think they fucked that kid up, B.” [Jack and Janet die. As things get weirder and weirder, it feels like Tim might be at the center of the unfolding conspiracy.]

An (almost) Foolproof Lie by HiddenDreamer67 - Rated T

“No, they don’t leave me totally alone.” Tim hurriedly explained. “My neighbor Bruce Wayne looks after me.” Batman stared at him for a long while. “Bruce Wayne.” He parroted slowly. (A young Tim Drake gets kidnapped by Falcone. When Batman rescues him, Tim tells Batman that Bruce Wayne is his temporary guardian. Oddly enough, Batman isn’t fooled by this perfect cover story.)

Anton Syndrome by Anonymous - Rated M

Tim's parents have been away for six months and counting—the longest he's ever been left alone at one time—and it's starting to have some unpleasant side effects. Luckily, he has a solution. OR, the one where Tim attempts prostitution to cure his touch starvation. His plan goes wrong pretty much from step one, but it all works out for the better.

I'll Stand By You by TaraLaurel - Rated T

"I'm not going to ask you why you're out here, kid," Jason nods. "That's your business and you don't know me or Dick to trust us." Not true. Tim trusts Jason Todd and Dick Grayson with his life. Just not with, the other stuff. "But," Jason continues, "if you want to tell me what got you here, or you just want to talk about anything, you can, with me. Dick too. He's an annoying ray of sunshine that won't ever shut up most of the time, but he is actually a good listener. I'd know." OR When Tim's parents find out Tim's secret, they kick him out. Now, on Thanksgiving, Tim is living on the streets and is thankful for the two strangers currently saving him from getting his face pounded into the pavement. Wait...those aren't strangers...

Just a Typical Monday Morning by Writer_loves_tropes - Rated T

There are three things in life that Timothy Drake knows for sure. One, Tim is the greatest retro Guitar Hero player in the world (even if the wonderful people at the Guinness Book of World Records won’t rightfully acknowledge this fact). Two, Tim is allergic to walnuts. He’s convinced his parents that he’s allergic to spinach too because he hates it. He’s pretty sure when his parents find out, they’re going to make him eat spinach casserole for dinner for a whole week as punishment. And the third thing Tim knows for sure? He’s sure that on this typical Monday morning, the entire Gotham High School thinks Timothy Jackson Drake is Robin, Batman’s vigilante sidekick. A random locker check and the real Robin stashing his suit in Tim’s locker is all it took to turn Tim’s typical Monday morning into one of the craziest Mondays of his life.

Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding - Rated G

Well-behaved boy (10) is looking for big brother (11-15). Must meet up with me three times a week, for at least two hours each. Overall duties include helping me with homework, playing videogames with me, and showing me how to play catch. 10$ per hour. Tim, lonely and in desperate need of company, decides that if his parents are not going to give him a sibling, he's going to hire one instead. Luckily, Jason Todd-Wayne shows up in the nick of time.

Holy security breach, Batman! by destiny919 - Rated G

Janet finally shoos him away towards the hors d'oeuvres or drinks table with the tacit understanding that she doesn't want to see him again until the end of the gala. And probably not even then, it wouldn't be the first time the Drakes forgot to take him home with them and Tim had to discreetly call an Uber before the host noticed and made Tim embarrass his parents. For this gala, however, he almost hopes they forget him again, because tonight Tim has a plan. They're at Wayne Manor, and Tim is going to find the Batcave.

wrong number by adelfie - Rated G

There’s a few rings, then the phone picks up. “Wayne Residence.” That’s funny, Tim thinks, Mrs. Mac doesn’t sound like herself. -- On a hot July evening while home alone, eight-year-old Tim gets a fever. He means to ask Mrs. Mac for help — but ends up accidentally calling Alfred Pennyworth. Somehow, even in sickness, he wins all the hearts of the Wayne family in one fell swoop.

assaulting existence with improbability by destiny919 - Rated T

"Where's Batman?" the kid demands. "We need to show him." Jason decides to go with the easy question. "Show him what?" The kid gives him an incredulous look. "Proof you didn't kill Garzonas, what else?"

5 Times Tim Spends the Night at Wayne Manor + 1 Time He Comes Home by motleyfam - Rated T

Tim is good at galas.

No, scratch that—Tim is great at galas. He’s been attending them ever since the age of three, when his parents first stuffed him into his little Gymboree tuxedo and gave him a stern lecture about ‘sitting quietly’ and ‘speaking when spoken to.’ He knows all the rules: what to wear, how to stand, when to smile, what to say, what not to say. He knows how to come across as polite and intelligent and charming, and on absolutely any other day, he would be rocking this.

[glitcheslikeslego]

Show Me Your Moves! (Chapter 9)

AO3 STORY

tw: reader uses a knife at the end

Chapter 9 : Sketch

Sketch is a non-damaging move that allows the user to copy the opponent's move permanently, replacing Sketch. 

You internally cursed Tang out in your head as you spotted an energetic MK painting along with Sandy. 

For a second, you were glad that MK appeared to be back to normal, but then you remembered the madness that was his Artist Clone. You remember that it only took 15 hours for Porty to go on his power trip, and you were pretty sure Artist was earlier than Porty, and that’s why you felt that off feeling as you watched MK take two paint brushes and begin painting even more.

“How long has he been at this?” You whisper-asked Sandy, who whispered back that he’s been painting for about Five hours now. You shuddered. Five hours already? Ten hours or less left to go…

Two hours.

The clone lasted for two hours.

“It needs to be better. It needs to be better.” The Artist Clone muttered to himself as he painted an intricate mural of MK dancing, surrounded by clones playing different instruments.

Despite its beauty, Artist didn’t seem pleased with it.

“I think it’s pretty good, MK.” Sandy said, and you felt fear strike into your very soul when Artist MK turned to the two of you with an insane look on his face.

“Pretty good? Pretty good!? That’s not good enough.” You and Sandy cowered and hugged each other as Artist MK yelled at you two. “You asked me to help paint your boat and that’s what I’m gonna do. I won’t stop until it’s perfect!” 

“I think it’s already perfect, MK.” You decided to stay, and he glared at you, making you even more nervous.

There was a small beat of silence, Artist MK’s eye twitched, then he attacked.

Sandy stood in front of you, hoping his natural strength could hold Artist MK back, but Artist MK’s funky mystic monkey powers easily kicked Sandy’s butt. Startled, you were powered up again, much like how you were back at the Weather Station, instead this time, the waves of the water became harsh, rocking the boat.

This didn’t intimidate the Artist Clone, and he ended up tying you and Sandy up before returning to his painting.

“Hey.” Sandy whispered to you, tied up suspended in the air. “Since when could you do that? The water thing?”

Ah, you forgot he was technically a water demon…

“The water thing? Just now, but apparently I’ve been unlocking these wacky abilities since Red Son took over the Weather Station. Remember when I punched that Bull Clone?” Your boss nodded. “Well, I also was covered in electricity, which totally short circuited the clone.”

Sandy nodded in understanding, and for the next few hours, you sat on the ground uncomfortable as Artist MK constantly painted over the murals he made over and over again, complaining about imperfections all the while.

“Yes, yes, the art is seeping into my pores!” Artist MK dragged a pink coated paintbrush across his face with an insane grin. “Just needs… One. More. Coat.” He turned to you and Sandy slowly, scaring the heck out of the two of you. 

“You missed a spot!”

“Where!?” Artist Clone then disappeared in a puff of dust and hair, and the real MK appeared. 

“Hey, MK. Mystic Monkey business?” Sandy asks knowingly, and MK nods. 

“How many of those clones did you make?” You ask curiously, maybe he’d give you an actual answer as to how many he actually made and not just the main three clones from this episode. 

Instead, he yelled out about Mei and rushed off, and you remembered that he’s better off saving her before she probably gets actually obliterated by that claw machine if he didn’t make it like last time. 

“So… now what?” Sandy wiggled a bit, making him swing side to side. 

“I think I can do something…” You replied. You wiggled around some too before one of your LEGO claw hands popped out of the ropes. You grabbed a knife from your pocket. 

“Since when did you have that!?” Sandy helps out in alarm, and you chuckle. 

“Since you hired me? You have quite a few of these just laying around in the store. I actually feel kind of comfortable walking around if I have an unreasonably sharp object to protect me.” You replied, easily cutting the ropes that Artist MK tied you in before freeing Sandy. 

“I don't think that’s a good thing.” Sandy said as you freed him, easily landing on his feet. 

You shrug. “Eh, what else do I have?”

He grabbed the knife from you with an unimpressed look on his face. “Those super strong powers you just admitted to having?”

You stared blankly for a second before pointing finger guns at him. “Touché.” 

~~~

<PREV ~ NEXT>

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 15

“They See Right Through Me”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: thank you for your patience as I took the time to write this for y’all. This was not only the longest chapter I have written, this was also the hardest, and emotionally challenging one thus far. I am extremely proud of how this has turned out. Thank you for reading ♡

Summary: Save who you can save Joel.

~word count: 11.7k~

Warnings: age gap (o/c is in her early 30’s Joel is in his 50’s) established relationship, angst, dark! Joel, mean! Joel. You’re gonna hate him by the end of this chapter! Joel, canon typical violence, death of a major character, trauma, arguments, gaslighting, PTSD, anger, rage, heart break, triggering themes that may be disturbing for some viewers. Please proceed with caution and read the warnings. (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“The Archer” By Taylor Swift

“You Are My Sunshine” by The Civil Wars

“Godspeed” By Frank Ocean

“Same Old Same Old” by The Civil Wars

“take a moment to breathe” by normal the kid

“My Cell” The Lumineers

“Paper Houses” by Niall Horan

“Wait” by M83

“Save Yourself” by KALEO

“It’ll All Work Out” by Phoebe Bridgers

Summer, 2023 : 5 Miles outside the QZ

“From this point forward, the three of us have to actively remember that Ellie is just a kid.” You spoke, sitting along an old crate in the abandoned building you, Joel, and Tess had found to take cover from the storm. Ellie was asleep, in the middle of the room. She used her backpack as a pillow, under a bed of moss.

Joel scoffed alongside you. His hand was still bloodied and bruised up. The thin skin of his knuckles were torn, shredded, and you were doing your best to clean out any debris embedded in the flesh. “She ain’t just a kid. She’s fuckin’ cargo to us.” He gritted out. He could feel the muscles, and tendons in his hand twitching. He had definitely broken it from the amount of times his fist made contact with the FEDRA soldiers face.

“Does she fucking look like cargo to you Joel? That’s a kid who’s life just got drastically turned upside down in a matter of hours. All she’s clearly known is Marlene, and the fireflies, and now 3 strangers.” You shook your head, refusing to make eye contact with him as you swiped a bit of 20 year old disinfectant along his knuckles, eliciting a hiss from between his lips.

“She is cargo. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you don’t let your emotions get in the fucking way. You forgetting what we’re doin’ this for? We’re doin’ this for Tommy, Gwen. We get the battery, the truck, everything Marlene promised us, and we go and find my brother. That’s the plan and it ain’t changin’ darlin’.”

“You know, if I had just met you two, I’d think you were an old married couple by the way you fuckin’ bicker together.” Tess whispered, amusement in her tone.

Joel rolled his eyes immediately in response. “Yeah?” He scoffed. “Well, we sure as hell ain’t an old married couple.”

“No, but you’re actin’ like one. At this rate, I’d put a ring on her finger sooner, rather than later Texas.”

“You see an every kiss begins with Kay or jade jewelers, or whatever the fuck around here? Cause I sure as hell ain’t seein’ any. Not to mention, that ain’t our style. Marriage? That’s hilarious Tess. Really fuckin’ funny.”

It wasn’t that Joel thought there was anything bad about marriage. It was more-so the fact the that he hadn’t had thoughts about marriage in over 20 fucking years. Besides, putting a ring on your finger seemed way too cliche. Totally not yours, or his style.

“I think I’d actually commit murder if he even attempted to put a ring on my finger.” You chimed in, your eyes were still focused on tending to Joel’s hand.

“That’s exactly 100% why you’re Joel’s girl.”

“Damn right she is.” He agreed.

“You’re both seriously beyond insufferable right now. Just wanted to let you know.” You mumbled under your breath with a small grin tugging on your lips.

A bright flash of lighting, followed by a loud crack of thunder, ended the lighthearted banter.

“Have you thought of the possibility that maybe Marlene is lying about the truck, and weapons that she promised us? Look, I have my reasons to not trust Marlene, but I really think we need to think about this from a logical standpoint. If the case ends up being there’s no truck, or weapons, we can’t just leave Ellie to fend for herself.”

Joel was ripping his hand from your grasp when you had attempted to bandage his knuckles up. He had given you a stone cold look, one that sent an unpleasant chill down your spine.

“Marlene seemed too fuckin’ desperate to make up a lie like that darlin’. Besides, Tess and I have known Marlene far longer than you have. If she says there’s a truck and weapons waiting at the state house, she ain’t lyin’ about that. The only reason you have to not trust her is because she’s a fuckin’ firefly.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you tucked your first aid kit back into your backpack and stood up. “Yeah? Well if you remember correctly, she’s the reason why I got fucking thrown into lockup. Her and the rest of the fireflies are the reason behind that. You just want me to go along and trust her? She’s never even fucking liked me Joel.” His gaze fell upon your face as you shrugged off your jacket and gently placed it over Ellie’s curled up sleeping form just a few feet away.

“You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time Gwen. Shit fuckin’ happens. You don’t wanna trust Marlene? Go on right ahead and see where that gets you. You’ll be eating your words the second we drop this kid off and get our reward.”

You scoffed under your breath as you sank down against the wall, far away from him now with your arms crossed over your chest. “Yeah, okay Joel. Can you stop being a fucking asshole?”

“Stop saying stupid fuckin’ shit and then I won’t have a reason to be an asshole darlin’”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, tasting copper along your tongue. You missed the moments where Joel was attentive to you, and your feelings. Where he was tender, gentle, soft with your heart. You missed that side of him desperately.

Ellie, unbeknownst to the three of you, was wide awake and listening to the entire conversation as it ensued. The second you placed your jacket over her, she felt an immediate trust for you. Especially for the fact that you emphasized that she was just a kid. She was wary of the other two you traveled with. Especially Joel. He seemed like one mean motherfucker.

Joel had taken the first watch of the night while you and Tess slept. Except, you couldn’t sleep at all. Despite how mean your partner was to you earlier, you couldn’t give him the cold shoulder forever.

He had turned his head towards you in the slightest when he could hear your boots scraping against the pavement as you stood up. He let out a soft sigh when you sank down beside him, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Why aren’t you sleepin’ honey?” His tone was much softer now, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“I don’t sleep most nights anymore Joel.”

He frowned at this and finally looked over at you, turning his body so he was facing you. His good hand was still firmly grasped around the machine gun strapped across his shoulder.

“You wanna talk about it? I’m all ears for you darlin’” he rasped.

“There’s nothing to talk about Joel. This has been going on for months. I’ve come to accept that a decent night's rest is not something attainable for me anymore. I’m on edge constantly, and for good reason.” You had your chin tucked into your shoulder as you looked over at him. The rain wasn’t as heavy anymore but there were still low rumbles of thunder in the distance.

Joel took a deep inhale through his nose, his nostrils flaring slightly as he breathed out, feeling the tension in his shoulders dissipate.

“C’mere. You ain’t have a reason to be on edge when I’m right here. Okay? Look, I know these last few months have not been ideal. Shits been handed to us left and right. I don’t want you thinkin’ that I don’t care either, alright? You know I do.” He slipped the rifle off of his shoulder before he was reaching for you, gently wrapping his good hand around your forearm, coaxing you closer.

“I know you care, Joel. I know that you’re just stressed over Tommy, and now this whole situation. I just…I got so fucking comfortable when we were just..happy. You remember that?” You didn’t fight him as he gently pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly to his chest, resting his chin along the top of your head. His arms were secured around your middle, your back pressed firmly to his chest.

“We both knew that wasn’t going to last forever baby. Those were the best moments. I ain’t forgotten them. M’sorry for the way I’ve snapped at you. I don’t know how to deal with how I’ve been feelin’ about Tommy. I know that’s not an excuse to treat ya that way. I don’t wanna lose you too..”

“We could have stayed with Bill and Frank y’know. There were so many houses and we could have had a comfortable life there. I know it sounds silly, how can anyone live comfortably in an apocalypse? Somehow Bill and Frank have. They’ve pretty much gone and done the impossible. Listen, I know you don’t mean what you’ve said. Does it hurt me? Absolutely. You’d have to do something unforgivable to lose me Joel. So please don’t go speaking like that.” You placed your hands over his, as you gently brought his damaged hand up to your lips, lightly pressing a kiss to the broken skin on his knuckles.

“Maybe we can have that one day, sweet girl. Just the two of us, okay? We’ll find a home somewhere to call ours. Maybe a couple horses, a nice big yard? A library for all your books..a decent mattress, with pillows that aren’t moth eaten. A nice big kitchen where we can cook together. We’ll have Bill, Frank, Tess, and Bea over every weekend for dinner. I’ll make sweet love to you every fuckin’ night. Doesn’t that sound wonderful baby? We’ll have that one day, I promise you. It’s just not in the cards for us right now, but that’s okay. You wanna know why? Cause no matter what, I got you, and you got me. Kay? No matter what happens.” He whispered against your hair, his eyes closed as he pictured a domestic lifestyle with you by his side. He wanted that so fucking badly with you. He could nearly taste it.

You were left feeling stunned in his arms. Joel’s confession was well thought out, tender, filled to the brim with all the little details. You could tell by his deliverance that this was not something he came up with on a whim. No, your Joel had thought about the possibility of having a normal life with you for a long long time. “No matter what happens, I got you, you got me. Always.” You whispered.

Joel tightened his grip around you slightly. He didn’t care about the throbbing pain from his freshly broken hand, or the impending reality that your lives had drastically changed in a matter of hours. He just wanted to make sure you got a decent night of sleep finally.

So, he sang. Just above a whisper, the same lullaby you had sung to him the night that his nightmares nearly consumed him.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

You were fast asleep by the time he whispered out the last word. He held you all night long, listening intently for any sounds that could be of a threat. Even when it was Tess’s turn to take watch, he didn’t wake her either. His gun was nearby, ready to grab if needed. His eyes stayed trained on the sleeping teenager just a few feet away. Ellie, who he viewed as just being cargo to transport.

By morning's impending approach, the storm had since passed on. The sky was painted in an array of pink, red, and orange hues. Although a sight to behold, a red sky at dawn was never a good sign. The old saying goes, red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky at morning, sailors warning.

The four of you had no inclination to predict that this was Tess’s last day walking in the living realm. Predicting the weather was something just about anyone could do. Predicting the moment someone would take their last dying breath? That was a feat impossible.

Ellie had slowly awoken to the sun's warm rays peeking through the cracks in the abandoned building. A golden butterfly fluttered above her sleeping form as her eyes slowly opened. She was still in a sleepy state as she slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings before she heard a loud creaking sound behind her.

She was greeted by a stern look from both Joel, and Tess. He was holding his assault rifle between his hands. The barrel of the gun pointed at the ground. The look he was giving the teenager was menacing enough as it was. The only kind face Ellie could find in the small space was yours.

“Morning…” she spoke, hesitation laced in her tone.

Just as she began to slowly rise from the mossy floor, Joel had lifted the gun in her direction, causing the teenager's eyes to go wide and you kicked his chair with your boot from where you stood behind him. “Joel..” you warned. He could feel your eyes glaring into the back of his skull, disapprovingly.

“If you say that she’s just a kid one more fuckin’ time.” He snapped back, keeping his gun trained on Ellie.

“Do I look like I’m infected? Seriously, can you not point that thing at me man? What, are you actually gonna shoot me?”

“Just might. Now, show us your arm. Slow. If you make any—”

“Sudden movements you’ll shoot. Yeah, I think I fucking got that part.” Ellie quipped back. She slowly lifted the sleeve of her hoodie revealing her 3 week old bite mark in the sunlight. From where the 3 of you were, it was pretty obvious this was not a fresh bite in the slightest.

“Yeah, it’s not getting any worse, is it? I’m not infected. This thing is 3 weeks old and I haven’t turned into one of those..things.”

Joel slowly lowered his gun before he slowly looked over at Tess before he let his gaze slightly drift up to you. “What the hell was Marlene doin’ with an infected kid in the first place?”

“I’m not infected. She found me after I was bitten and before you ask, no. She didn’t shoot me. She locked me up in that shit hole and had her guys test me every fucking day. They chained me to a pipe and made me recite my name and other shit back to them to see if my personality had changed. It clearly didn’t.”

“Did your shit attitude come before, or after you were bitten?” Joel asked.

You kicked the foot of his chair again, this time a little harder.

You could tell the teenager fought hard to not roll her eyes at him. “Y’know the thing I think really impressed them was the fact that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster.”

When the three of you didn’t respond, Ellie slowly rose to her feet and Joel’s gun followed. “Really man? I thought we were done with that shit. Can I just go pee now? I’ve been holding it for a while.”

Tess had grabbed an old magazine on the floor and tossed it over to the teenager. “Go ahead. You can find a nice spot back there.”

Ellie caught the magazine before she started to walk towards the back room to do her business. “There’s not gonna be anything bad in here?”

“Just you.”

Once Ellie was out of sight, you nearly wanted to rip Joel’s gun from his hands but refrained as you crossed your arms over your chest with a sigh. “She made it through the fuckin’ night, Joel. I think you can cut it out with pointing the gun at her. She’s clearly not a threat to any of us.”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Maybe her body just has a late response to the cordyceps. She can’t be trusted. I told you this was a bad fuckin’ idea to begin with and now that we know she’s infected, you still think we’re gonna follow through with this?”

“You saw her arm, Joel. If she was infected it would have looked completely different. We’ve seen what infected bite marks look like and she is not one of them.”

“Yeah well I ain’t about to go and take that chance. We’re close enough to the wall. We can sneak her back into the QZ and we’ll just find a different way to get the battery. I ain’t hauling an infected kid around with us.”

“We take her back to the QZ and they’re gonna kill her. FEDRA see’s that bite mark and she’s through. You really wanna have a kid's blood on your hands like that?”

“Do you hear yourself right now Gwen? You’re actin’ like this kid has some fuckin’ life ahead of her or somethin’. We take her back to the QZ and get the battery a different way.”

“What happened to fiercely believing in the fact that Marlene is gonna have a whole truck and weapons waiting for us if we bring her to the state house? You’re just gonna go and abandon that?”

“You should be jumping for joy over the fact that we’re finally fuckin’ agreeing on somethin’ for once. An infected kid is not worth the possibility of that truck, or the weapons we were promised.”

“I’m with Gwen on this one.” Tess finally spoke as Joel whipped his around suddenly to look at her, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re what?”

“You heard me Texas. I don’t think I need to repeat it.” She spoke without looking at him just as Ellie had returned. “You hungry kid? You can share some of ours.”

“Thanks. Marlene sent me with my own.” Ellie spoke as she sank down into the moss, pulling out what appeared to be a chicken sandwich from her backpack.

“Is that chicken?” You asked, feeling your mouth water at the sight of something besides the dried, tasteless jerky the three of you were eating.

“Yep. Marlene said they get it from smugglers..guess not you guys.” She smirked a little as she took a bite of her sandwich.

Tess was already up and out of her chair and Joel had tried to stop her but she pushed him away. “Why are you so important to Marlene? Hm? Don’t even think about lyin’ to me kid. If you do, we’ll take you back to the QZ.”

“Well..you take me back and you don’t get your battery.” Ellie responded.

“Ohh. So you got a good set of ears on you huh? Well, then I’m sure you heard that he wants to shoot you then right?”

Ellie no longer possessed a smirk on her face as she slowly looked up at Joel’s displeased face. “So then why hasn’t he shot me already? If what you’re saying is true.”

“Trying to change the subject isn’t gonna do you any good either. So I’m gonna talk to you like an adult, alright? Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doin’ this for us because apparently you’re worth somethin’ to Marlene, whatever that may be. So if I were you, I’d drop the smart ass attitude because his patience? It’s wearing mighty thin. I suggest you answer my question. Why are you so important to Marlene?”

“What about her? Is she not a good person either?” Ellie spoke, gesturing her head towards you.

“Gwen? Let’s just say..she’s better than the two of us but not by much. Sweet face, sure. Knows how to wield a knife like it’s the fuckin’ back of her hand.”

“That’s badass.”

“Answer her question, Ellie. It’s alright.” You spoke softly, earning a disapproving look from your lover.

“Okay..well, Marlene told me not to tell anyone and here I am telling the three of you..” she sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west with doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

“Oh of course they are. Yeah, sure I’ll believe it. This ain’t the fuckin’ first time we’ve heard about a possible cure. It’s all horse shit.” Joel muttered under his breath.

“So whatever happened to me is—”

“The key to finding the vaccine. That’s what they all fuckin’ say and guess what? They’ve tried to find a cure numerous times and ain’t nothin’ worked. It’s the same goddamn thing every single—”

Ellie rose to her feet in a fury, staring at Joel head on. “Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You and me fuckin’ both. We’re wastin’ daylight the more time we spend talkin’ on this nonsense. I’m done. Pack your shit up and let’s go. We’re takin’ you back to the QZ.”

Tess let out a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. “Let’s just finish this Joel. We get what we want regardless. We take her back, and we risk all 4 of us getting shot. I don’t know about you, but I still have some life worth livin.’”

Joel clenched his jaw tightly, breathing in deeply through his nose. This was not a good idea. However, we was now outnumbered by two. “If she so much as fuckin’ twitches—”

He was cut off by the obnoxious sounds of Ellie portraying a clicker. Making the snarling clicking sounds as she contorted her limbs at an uncomfortable angle.

“Ellie don’t.” You warned her.

She rubbed the back of her neck, clearing her throat as she nodded, “okay..”

The 4 of you gathered up your things to head out and just as Joel was lifting his rifle from the ground, slinging the strap over his shoulder, Ellie asked if she too could have a gun.

“Can I have a gun?”

“Absolutely fuckin’ not. Not a chance in hell.” Was Joel’s immediate response.

“Okay, Jesus fuck. Fine. I’ll just throw a fuckin’ sandwich at them or something.” She muttered under her breath as she threw her backpack strap over her shoulder.

As the 4 of you stepped out into the warm sunlight, you watched as Ellie looked around the ruined city in amazement. Buildings half fallen over, taken hostage by thick vines and moss. There were giant craters, the size of small moons, where the government had sent bombs to slow down the rate of the infected.

Joel had come to a halt in front of the impassable wreckage blocking a quick path to the State House. “Long way or short way?”

“It’s the long way or the ‘we’re fuckin’ dead way.’” Tess added.

“Long way it is then. We’ll have to go check from the hotel first. See if the coast is clear. C’mon.” You were leading the way now, while Ellie walked alongside you, Tess in the middle, and Joel in the back.

You and Ellie engaged in small talk. You genuinely wanted the kid to feel somewhat comfortable with this entire situation and Ellie seemingly appreciated your efforts. She told you how she had gotten bit and you had to admit, this kid was pretty ballsy for her age. “Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Thanks.” She had a grin creeping up on her face.

“Soo..no one is gonna come looking for you right? Mom, dad?..boyfriend?..”

“Uhhh well, I’m an orphan and nope.”

You could feel Joel’s eyes on the back of your skull as he walked behind you, shaking his head at your efforts to befriend this cargo.

“See, everyone told me the big open city was gonna be crazy! Infected runnin’ around everywhere. Are we even gonna see any? Cause I’ve heard there’s like super-infected that explode fungus spores on you! Is that not true?”

“Shit, I hope not. Those sound fuckin’ terrifying.” You said with a small grin.

“Okay, what about the ones that have their heads split open and can see in the dark like bats?”

“You mean clickers? Yeah, there’s lots of those. They’re the most common type that we’ve come across. Not the hardest to kill, but they use echolocation—” you were cut off by the sound of a loud, distant animalistic yell coming from deep within the fallen city.

On instinct, Joel was close to your side, looking around as you waited for another yell to follow. The only sound you could hear was a crow perched on a tree nearby.

“Let’s keep movin’” Joel spoke as he gave you a gentle nudge forward.

As you approached the hotel, Ellie had her own set of questions for you as she kicked at the stray rubble beneath her red, worn sneakers.

“So is he like..your boyfriend or somethin’?”

“My boyfriend? Well, no. Not exactly. I wouldn’t call him that if I’m being honest.”

“But you’re like together, right? I think that part is pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, we are. Just don’t think he’d particularly enjoy me calling him my boyfriend. It’s not really his taste.”

“Well, no offense to you, he doesn’t seem like the boyfriend type anyway.”

This elicited a light laugh to slip past your lips as you covered it by coughing into the sleeve of your jacket. “Oh, you’re right on the money with that one, kid. He is far from the boyfriend type.”

“But he’s like your partner then?..Your person?”

“Yeah, something along those lines. I wouldn’t go as far to put us into a box, y’know?”

“I understand..what about Tess? Does she have anyone?”

“Back in the QZ she does. She has a girlfriend named Beatrix.”

“Wicked.”

“You two done chit chattin’ up there?” Joel spoke, distaste evident in his tone.

“Yeah, we’re just makin’ the time pass is all.”

“Oh yeah? Well ain’t that fuckin’ nice for you two.” He scoffed as he walked ahead of you, stopping at the foot of the stairs looking into the overflowing of water into the once hotel lobby.

“Is he always this grumpy?” Ellie leaned over and whispered to you.

“Oh, this isn’t even the worst that you’ve seen of it, kid. Trust me.”

The 4 of you started to trudge through the green, murky water to get to the other side of the lobby. Ellie being the kid that she was, wandered off to the side when she saw what used to be the front desk and pressed on the bell a few times as she leaned over the counter. “Ding! Ding! Yes, sir. I would like your finest suite, please.” “Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage?”

“You’re a weird kid.” Joel watched her with a quizzical expression etched on his weathered features.

“You’re a weird kid.” Ellie sarcastically responded back, nearly sticking her tongue out at him as she pushed the luggage trolley forward.

A very deceased human Skeleton slipped out from behind the trolley and scared the living daylights out of the teen. Much to yours, and Ellie’s surprise, Joel was at her side immediately, gun raised in the direction of the apparent threat.

She’s just cargo, my ass. Was the first thought that came to your mind.

Joel had offered Ellie his hand as he helped her up but as soon as their hands touched, he was ripping his away from her grasp, staring down at it momentarily with a hard expression on his face. Perhaps it was from the fact that his hand was still freshly broken. Or there was a possibility he was shocked that he even allowed himself to touch someone who was ‘infected.’

After climbing 10 flights of stairs, you were met with another obstacle that was definitely not present the last time you had come through this way. “What the fuck man. This definitely wasn’t here last time, was it?” You asked, bent over slightly as you were catching your breath.

“No, it sure as hell wasn’t. Maybe we can try one of the doors?” Tess walked past you, trying the two doors with no luck.

“Damn. Well, maybe we can go climb through it and work our way around?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

Joel had pushed Ellie to the side then, before giving you a boost up over the rubble before you helped Tess over the side, grasping her forearms as you pulled her up.

“Just be careful, alright?” He spoke as he slowly sat down on an abandoned suitcase across from Ellie.

“Yeah yeah. We’ll be fine, cowboy. Just keep an eye on the kid.” You peeked your head out from a gap in the rubble and gave him a reassuring nod, and a subtle wink.

Ellie sat across from him, flipping her switchblade and catching it by the handle each time.

“That’s a nice knife you got there. Where’d you learn to do that?” Joel asked.

“The circus.” Ellie deadpanned.

Joel let out a deep sigh, looking off to the side as he tried to figure out why he even bothered to make small talk with a teenager.

“Where are you from?” Ellie asked.

“Texas.” He gruffly responded.

“What about Tess and Gwen?”

“Detroit. It’s in Michigan and Gwen is from Chicago.”

“I go to school, smart ass. I know where Detroit is. Chicago has that giant fucking bean, right? Always wanted to see it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. She’s obsessed with it. No fuckin’ clue why.”

“Uh huh. So you two like a—” Ellie already knew the answer, thanks to you. She was just slightly curious to see what Joel would respond with.

“Pass.”

“Oh well cause she told me you guys were—”

“Pass.”

“How’d you end up in Boston?”

“Pass.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Talk to a fuckin’ brick wall? Fuck. She was right, you are grumpy all the time.”

“She what? God dammit Gwen.” He growled lowly under his breath. “No more questions about me, alright? That’s enough.”

“Alright, grumpy. How long do infected live?”

Joel whipped his head back around towards her, narrowing his eyes before he chuckled, “Oh, I thought you went to school.”

“Yeah, well..it’s a really shitty one.”

“Some of ‘em last about a month or two. There’s others that have been walkin’ around ‘bout 20 years.”

“Yeah? You ever kill one?”

Joel nearly scoffed at this question, almost offended that this kid even assumed that he hadn’t killed any.

“Yeah, I have killed lots of ‘em.”

“Was it hard killing them?..like, knowing they were people once? Has it ever bothered you?..”

Joel was slightly taken aback by her question. He often did forget that the infected used to be everyday people he would see on the street. Sometimes he would be forced to face humanity, and realize that he was in a sense, killing people. He wasn’t a total monster like many would have assumed him to be. He just wasn’t the most open with sharing personal details about himself.

“Sometimes. It’s easy to forget that they were once people when they’re comin’ at you with one goal in mind; to turn you into one of ‘em. So you gotta decide if it’s gonna be you, or them. You think I survived this long without havin’ to kill?” He sighed as he leaned back against the wall. “I ain’t exactly proud of it, but it’s what you gotta do to survive. It's always either gonna be you, or them.”

“What about that guy last night?”

Just as Joel was going to respond, he could hear rustling just outside the door and he was up in a flash with his gun aimed at the door.

“You can put the gun down, cowboy. It’s just us. Relax.” You spoke through the door as you pushed it open, revealing you and Tess on the other side. From the looks on your faces alone, Joel could tell that something was definitely wrong.

“What now? Did you guys see something?”

“Yeah, and you’re not gonna like it. Not one bit I’m afraid.” You confirmed.

“Fuckin’ fantastic.” He grumbled as he gently nudged past you and Tess followed by Ellie.

Shortly after, the 4 of you were standing over the ledge of the hotel, looking down at a shrieking hoard of infected, writhing on the ground below. You were standing alongside Joel, noticing that he was nervously fidgeting with his fingers and picking at the skin around his cuticles. You gently grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers together as you gave his hand a light, reassuring squeeze.

“The last time we were here, there weren’t nearly this many of them. Most of them were still deep inside the buildings. Guess enough people came wanderin’ through looking for the QZ. They found themselves seeking shelter..went inside the buildings and that’s how they get more of the fuckin’ city bit by bit, year after year.” Tess stated, glancing over at you and Joel momentarily before looking at Ellie.

“What’re we gonna do?” You spoke quietly to him, gently stroking your thumb across the outside of his hand, leaning in close to his tall frame.

“We’re gonna have to go through the museum. We ain’t have another choice darlin.’”

“That was nearly a suicide mission the last time we went through..remember?”

“Yeah, but there’s a chance whatever is left of ‘em is dead by now. If it gets dicey, we split and figure out another way, alright? Right now, this is our only option and I ain’t lookin’ forward to it either.” he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, just a smidge of affection that it seemed like you both needed.

“They’re connected in more ways than you know. The fungus also grows underground. Long fibers, like wires. They’re all entwined under the surface and if you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, you can awake a dozen infected somewhere else. They know where you are and it’s only a matter of minutes before they find you. You’re not immune from being ripped apart, kid.” Tess explained.

Ellie was fully listening, soaking up all the information that Tess was providing her. The situation at hand was becoming all too real for her 14 year old self.

“We have to go through the museum. It’s the short-way and not the most ideal, nor the safest, but we ain’t have much of a choice.” Joel spoke up, letting go of your hand as he stepped forward.

“I had a really bad feelin’ you were gonna come to that conclusion Texas.” Tess spoke with a sigh.

Ellie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull when she saw the amount of fungus tendrils stretched across the expanse of the outside structure of the museum. The colors were faded, not nearly as vibrant as freshly infected. Despite their obvious expiration, the building still looked ominous and uninviting.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding me. We seriously have to go through there? You sure there’s not another way man? This is screaming ‘DANGER’ like c’mon, aren’t the lights flashing in your brain right now too? Cause mine are like fuckin’ sirens.”

Joel ignored the teen as he bent down, inspecting one of the thick strands of fungus. He used the butt of his gun to stab at it to check and see if it was in fact dead. “It’s bone dry. Good chance that they’re all finally fuckin’ dead in there.” He was already pulling his flashlight out from his bag while you and Tess were pulling out your guns.

“I have a spare hand y’know.” Ellie stated the obvious.

“Congratulations.” Joel responded.

He was the first to enter the museum, rifle at the ready. When he deemed it was safe enough to enter, he turned his head towards the opening of the door and gave you a quick nod to follow.

Once the 4 of you were inside the museum, Ellie’s pupils had blown out when she saw just how much fungus coated the walls, floors, and pretty much any inanimate object. It was everywhere.

Joel was still extremely cautious where he stepped, shining his flashlight along the fungus infested floor. It appeared that the once living infected, were all deceased by now. That was until Ellie stumbled upon a fresh kill and let out a surprised, “oh shit!”

Joel was immediately stepping around her, gun raised and his face immediately fell as he looked over at you and Tess. So, maybe they weren’t all dead after all. Or maybe this guy was attacked outside the museum and just found himself to be in an unlucky situation.

The three of you began to talk in a hushed whisper over the situation. Ellie could barely decipher what was being said from how low your voices were but she caught onto the bit of the conversation regarding ‘not hearing them’ what the hell were they going on about? What were they listening for? As far as she was concerned, the museum was deathly silent.

“I don’t hear anything. Who, or what would you hear?” Ellie had suddenly asked. Joel’s response was to raise his hand off his gun, giving her a warning look to shut the fuck up with his eyes alone.

“Did an infected person do that? Cause I was attacked by one and it sure as hell didn’t do that. Dude is all torn up. I’ve never seen anything like it.” She whispered.

“Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quiet. Silent.” He emphasized heavy on the silent part as he looked sternly at Ellie. He held no concern over you and Tess being silent but this kid was already becoming a nuisance in his eyes. “You got that? Not one single fuckin’ sound. This isn’t funny business, kid. This is the real fuckin’ world.” He harshly whispered.

“What—”

“No. No questions. Just do what I say, alright? You wanna live to see another day, don’t you? Exactly. That’s what I thought.” He whispered as he lowered his gun and took a few silent steps to the side, locking eyes with you for a moment. Your Joel never usually showed fear. He was able to encase it well behind his hardened features. A furrow of his brow, the quirk of his upper lip, all used as decoys. Even in the low lighting, you could see his face etched with fear. Just as fast as it appeared, it was gone again, hidden behind the vast ridges of his weathered skin.

Joel had taken the lead while you silently stepped behind him, keeping your finger hovering over the trigger of your gun, ready to react if need be. You glanced back at Ellie and gave her a reassuring nod to follow you while Tess walked behind her. Despite how quiet you all were being, the old floor boards were creaking with every step your boots took.

The stairway was absolutely covered with now bone dry fungus. You couldn’t even see where the next step started from how dense the fungus was. It creeped up the walls, over paintings and the railings of the staircase. You watched Joel’s footing as he carefully stepped over a mound of once living infected. You couldn’t even make out their faces as the fungus had completely morphed them to be unidentifiable.

The sickening crunch of a once human hand beneath Ellie’s shoe had Joel whipping around, shining his flashlight that was attached to the rifle at the teenager. He gave her one long look before he turned away from her and continued to head up the stairs.

A few more steps up and Joel was at the opening of the doorway, slowly pushing it open as you waited for his silent cue. Just as he had given it to you with a slight nod of his head, some of the building's structure began to collapse and crumble as you, Tess, and Ellie stumbled inside before the debris could crush the three of you.

Joel was reaching down grasping the kids arm as he quickly helped her up from the dusty floor while you helped Tess up.

Then there was a loud screech, one that you had heard far too many times. It still sent deep chills down your spine.

click click click click

Ellie was slowly backing towards a wall, her eyes wide with fear as she tried to steady her nervous breaths.

Out from the shadows, illuminated by the steady, bright beam of Joel’s flashlight was a clicker. Its head was completely split open by the cordyceps. The brain cavern was taken over by the fungus. Thick, putrid and brightly colored. Clickers could not see, as they were blinded by the fungus, but they could hear, and they could hear very well.

Its body contorted at an uncomfortable angle as it clicked and snarled.

Another screech was heard;two clickers.

Joel was already quickly nudging you against the glass case. His face constricted painfully in your view. This was not an ideal situation to be in. Not one fucking bit.

Ellie was in his direct eyesight and he quickly mouthed to her, “they can’t see, but they can hear.”

The clicker let out a loud, bone chilling growl from the other side of the glass case. You found yourself squeezing your eyes shut momentarily, holding your gun firmly against your chest.

Don’t make a sound. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t move.

Joel had slowly brought his pointer finger to his lips, keeping his eyes locked on Ellie to keep her calm.

You could feel the teenager's anxiety, and fear rising with every second and you silently pleaded with her to stay strong.

Joel had turned his head slightly as the clicker stumbled around the side of the glass display case. It was so close you could nearly feel its putrid breath on your skin.

Ellie had let a sharp breath slip past her lips and it was loud enough for the clicker to hear her.

It all happened in a flash as the clicker turned around and screeched loudly before it lunged. Joel had gotten a few shots into its body from where he stood, but it wasn’t nearly enough to inflict any serious damage. “RUN!” he yelled as the other clicker appeared from the shadows. You shot at it once before grabbing Ellie’s arm firmly in your grasp.

Tess had taken a couple more shots before she followed behind you. The three of you ran around the corner, hearts racing and blood fiercely pumping. The clicker was hot on your tail and gaining on you quickly. In one quick movement, you shoved Ellie to the ground, ordering her to crawl to safety.

You and Tess turned to shoot again, but neither of you had time to aim and wasting bullets was the last thing you wanted to do.

You both could hear a loud crash from the other side of the room and Joel’s heavy boots before everything went silent again.

click click click click

Joel had taken cover behind another glass cabinet as he quickly unloaded and reloaded his small pistol. His senses were on overdrive when he heard the low clicks approaching. His eyes squeezed shut momentarily, thinking that his cover was blown.

The clicker had let out a low snarl before it stalked in the other direction and he could barely make out Ellie’s crouched form behind the tarnished glass.

His footsteps were quiet, calculated and precise as he moved from his hiding spot and crouched beside Ellie. He had no other choice but to get her out of this situation. It was almost as if in those crucial moments, his protective nature had completely taken over. He was going to get this kid out of here, unscathed if it was the last thing he ever did.

Him and Ellie silently communicated with their eyes alone. One tilt of his head and she was quietly moving along the side of the glass case, following his lead. Just when he thought they were in the clear, something had crunched beneath his boot. It was stray shards of glass. His blood ran cold at the crunching sound. Neither him, nor Ellie had time to react as the clicker lunged over the glass case and threw itself on them.

You could hear Joel’s grunts and Ellie’s terrified screams from where you stood behind a nearby wall. You were going to have to act fast if you were to save them both.

bang bang bang

Joel had pumped the clicker with lead, causing it to stumble backwards, allowing him and Ellie to scramble to their feet.

You peeked around the corner, taking aim at the clicker's head before you pulled the trigger and sent it stumbling to the ground. Even after its body hit the floor with a sickening thud, Joel pulled his own trigger a few more times till it was no longer moving.

The second clicker came charging out of the blue, but didn’t make it far as Tess had thrown an ax at its neck, and you finished it off with a bullet to the head.

Once the apparent threat was deceased, everyone let out a shaky breath. From where you were standing, you could tell Tess was injured from the way she was avoiding putting too much weight on one foot. “You alright?”

“Just a twisted ankle, I’ll live. Don’t worry.” She responded.

“Fuck me.” Ellie exclaimed as she lifted up the sleeve of her hoodie and revealed a fresh bleeding bite mark along her forearm. “I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us..”

You were at her side then and gently tugged her sleeve down. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Tess’s final and only request

You sat alongside on the roof, pulling out a roll of duct tape from your bag as she pulled off her boot. You wasted no time to start to wrap her foot with the tape. “Just a sprained ankle you said? Nothin’ else?” You asked, looking up at the older woman momentarily.

“Yeah, just a sprained ankle Gwen. I’ll be fine.” Tess looked at you as if she was studying your features. As if she was storing your image deep inside her brain so that she wouldn’t forget you, or your face.

Joel had given the kid a piece of cloth to wrap her arm before he was crouching down on the other side of Tess. “You can walk, right? Ain’t need any help?”

She looked at him the same way she had just looked at you. She wanted to keep your memories up to the very last second. “I’m fine, Texas. Really. Go on and make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill herself or somethin.’”

He gave her a small nod before he stood back up. “Yeah, I know. It looks scary and all but it really ain’t that bad.”

Ellie turned around briefly to look at him before she responded, “no. That was scary. This is wood.” Before she stepped across the thin planks to the otherside.

You gave Tess’s arm a light squeeze before you followed after the kid, glancing back at them momentarily before you crossed over the narrow planks of wood.

“What if the first bite didn’t take? What if the second one does? We’re in way over our fuckin’ heads with this Tess. We all could have fuckin’ died back there and—” Joel was cut off by Tess snapping back at him.

“How ‘bout you just take the good news? Can you please just do that for once? None of us are dead. We’re gonna finish what we started Joel.”

He looked at her briefly, trying to decipher what had ticked her off so easily before he let out a sigh and grabbed his rifle from where it laid on the discolored roof tiles and slung it back over his shoulder.

I failed them. I failed them both. I failed Bea. Tess silently thought to herself as she pulled her knees up to her chest, taking in a few shaky breaths.

Joel crossed over the planks and stood alongside Ellie.

“Is it everything you hoped for?” He asked.

“Jury’s still out.”

“But, man, you can’t deny that view.” Ellie concluded.

You were reloading your gun off to the side, glancing over your shoulder to see Tess approaching. Her demeanor alone was a sure signal that something was off. You just couldn’t figure out what exactly had happened back there. It was going to drive you up a wall, not knowing. You were sure of it.

“C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark. We’re wasting daylight. Let’s go.” Tess gritted out between her teeth as she was already climbing down the old steel ladder. Her erratic movements threw you off guard completely.

You stopped alongside Joel, brushing your hand across the outside of his bicep before you followed Tess and Ellie down the ladder.

Joel waited a few moments in silence as he glanced down at his broken watch strapped around his wrist before he grabbed the side of the ladder and climbed down.

They’re gonna hate me.

They’ll see right through me.

What will Bea think?

Will she think me to be dead?

I let her down too.

She’ll never know what has become of me.

I won’t turn into a monster.

I won’t become one of them.

Tess was leading the way to the state house. Her footsteps were uncharacteristically fast. She seemed on edge, nervous, sporadic.

The 4 of you were crouched behind a long abandoned car outside of the state house. There was a large military grade truck parked outside. However, there were no signs of weapons, or the fireflies.

“Where the fuck are they? Marlene said they would be here. She fuckin’ promised us.” Tess whispered.

“Everyone just stay here. Alright? Somethin’ ain’t right here.” Joel whispered back before he crept from behind the car to investigate. Once he approached the truck, the 3 of you took a bated breath as he opened the door, aiming the barrel of his gun at the inside of the truck. He was met with blood stained seats but no fireflies.

The side of the open truck door was spattered with blood dripping down the dull metal.

Something definitely was not right here.

Joel had glanced back at you and Tess, shaking his head slightly to signal that it wasn’t safe just yet as he crept around the back of the truck slowly. He took a deep, visible breath as he opened up the two heavy steel doors and was met with no signs of any passengers inhabiting the vehicle.

“What the fuck is goin’ on Joel?” Tess asked as she walked towards him, brushing off your hand along your arm.

“The fuck did I just say about stayin’ back? It ain’t safe! Why didn’t you wait for my–”

“They went inside.” Ellie confirmed from where she was standing. There was a trail of blood leading up the gravel steps to the state house. This definitely was not a good sign at all.

Tess was already heading up the steps in a fury. From where you stood, you could see her hands trembling. “Come on!”

“Tess just wait a fuckin’ minute! By the looks of it, the fireflies are dead and we ain’t gettin’ our battery!” Joel yelled at her to stop.

“Come on!” She was insistent with her tone.

You, Joel, and Ellie had no choice but to follow Tess into the state house. Once inside, you were all met with the bodies of the deceased fireflies, all in a circle in the room. Their crimson blood spilled out along the tiles, staining them in a dark red.

“I mean, there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or somethin’ right? Help me look for one!” Tess spoke in a rushed tone as she frantically started looking through the deceased fireflies supplies, knocking over items onto the tile below, creating all sorts of noise.

“Tess? What the fuck is going on with you?” There was an edge to your tone as you came up alongside the older woman. “Maybe Joel was right..maybe we should go back to the QZ and regroup.”

“Fuck that. We’ve made it this far, and now you want to turn back? No. Help me find a radio, Gwen! There’s gotta be one around here. There has to be!”

Joel had noticed that one of the deceased fireflies had clearly been bit as he used his boot to tilt its head to the side.

“Tess, what the fuck are you doin’?” He asked while he watched her rummage around in a fury.

“Where did Marlene say she was taking you? Ellie! Where did she fuckin’ say she was taking you?” Tess ignored Joel as she walked over to the teen and you instinctively stepped in front of Ellie.

“Uhh..I don’t know. All she told me is that she was taking me west but she didn't say where exactly.”

“Just west? Fuck. Okay. She didn’t tell you anythin’ else?” Tess wasn’t even looking at you. Her eyes were frantically searching the expanse of the room. “Well, I mean, one of them’s gotta have a map on them, right? Joel? Gwen? Can you fuckin’ help me?! Stop just standin’ around!” She snapped as she started searching for anything she could find on the deceased bodies.

“No! Tess..it’s over. We are goin’ home, alright? We are way over our heads, bit off more than we can chew. We’ll go back to the QZ and–”

“That’s not my fucking home!” Tess snapped. “I’m stayin.”

“What the hell do you mean you’re stayin’? What the hell has gotten into you?! You’re actin’ fuckin’ weird! Why won’t you even look at us?!” Joel spoke exasperatedly.

Your blood suddenly ran cold. You figured out why Tess’s behavior was so sporadic and uncharacteristic for her just as Ellie had figured it out too.

“Fuck. She’s infected.” Ellie spoke softly, the realization washing over her.

Joel looked at Tess then and felt his world suddenly begin to cave in, all at once. Just before he could open his mouth to speak, you were stepping in front of him, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“No. Tell me it's not true, Tess. Fucking tell me its not true!” You pleaded with her, as Joel was already protectively pulling you back behind him.

“Show me. Show me your fuckin’ arm Tess.” He demanded and when she took a step towards him, he immediately took one back. He did his best to ignore the pained look that struck across Tess’s features.

Tess let out a sigh as she drew her hand up to the collar of her jacket and pulled the fabric back to reveal the fresh bite mark along the base of her neck, along her collar bone. You could see the veins of the fungus growing up her neck already. There was only a matter of time before she would be completely gone.

“Oops, right?” She said with a pained laugh, tears threatening to spill over.

You pushed Joel out of the way once more, you weren’t afraid of Tess. She wasn’t a monster. She was still human. She was still breathing, pumping blood through her veins. “You can’t fuckin’ die. You can’t! Tess…what about Bea? You–” Your own tears had threatened to spill over as you shakily grasped the collar of Tess’s jacket between your fingers. “This wasn’t supposed to happen to you!”

You could feel Joel grabbing your forearm, trying to yank you back. “Let me the fuck go!” You snapped, ripping your arm from his firm grasp.

Tess was hugging you, nearly knocking the air from your lungs. You could feel her entire body trembling as she held you. “You fuckin’ listen to me okay? I haven’t got much time. You protect him, okay? Please protect him Gwen. He’s going to need you more than ever now. No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.” She whispered, squeezing you tightly.

“Tess, I–”

“Promise me Gwen. Promise me you’ll be there for him”

“I promise.” You whispered.

“Tell Bea that I love her, and I'm sorry.”

Tess released you from her grip and frantically pushed you away as she stumbled back.

She addressed Joel directly now, balling her hands into fists, to ease the trembling. “Ellie. Take your bandage off.” She asked with a shaky breath, walking over to the teen as she grabbed her forearm in a firm grip.

“This is real. Joel, she’s fucking real. Look at her arm!” She let go of Ellie’s arm and brought it down to her side. Her forearm was twitching, trembling as the cordyceps were quickly invading her nervous system.

“You get her to Bill and Franks. You load up on ammo, and you take her out West. You find Tommy and the fireflies.”

“No.”

“There is no time to fuckin’ argue with me! You take her to Bill and Franks. I’ve never asked anything of you Joel. Never asked you to feel a certain way about me.”

He went to open his mouth but she immediately cut him off.

“No. You shut the fuck up and listen to me ‘cause I don’t have time. This is your chance to do some fuckin’ good for once. To make up for all the fucked up shit we did. You keep her alive. You keep her safe. You hear me? You set everything right.”

“Tess, No. I can’t fuckin’ do that.”

“Yes you fuckin’ can Joel. Please say yes, Joel, please fucking say yes.” She pleaded with him, a stray tear rolling down her cheek .

“Oh fuck!” Ellie yelled as one of the presumed deceased bodies snarled, clawing at the ground.

Joel wasted no time to pull his gun out, aiming it at the infected and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight to its head as it collapsed down to the mossy floor.

fuck fuck fuck.

The tendrils of the cordycep fungus rose up between the deceased fingers, and it dawned upon you that the infected were more connected than you could possibly understand. The fungus was weaved intricately below the surface, webbed together in a firm structure.

You could hear the approaching snarls from outside the wooden doors.

They were coming.

Tess was already moving around you, using the butt end of Joel’s rifle to open up the large barrels of gasoline, spilling the flammable liquid onto the tile. She was working off pure adrenaline as she knocked over each barrel. She tossed a box filled with grenades onto the floor.

The realization that Joel was losing another person who was so important, so close to his heart, was crashing down on him. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears. His eyes and mind went blank as Tess approached him. “Joel…save who you can save.” She whispered her final plea to him. These were her last words spoken in the walking, living realm.

Joel understood, as he searched her eyes. He seared her memory into the deep cavern of his brain. He would never forget her and he refused to let her down.

In a flash he had grabbed Ellie’s arm in his one hand and yours in the other, immediately yanking both of you away from the immediate danger.

“No! We’re not leaving her! We can’t! Get off me, you fucker!” Ellie yelled as she clawed at him, trying to pull her arm from his grasp.

You stumbled after him, frantically looking over your shoulder at Tess for the very last time. She gave you a small smile, followed by a reassuring nod before her face was obstructed from your view as Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, to safety.

All you hoped for was that Tess went peacefully. That she didn’t die in fear. You hoped that she died with memories of you, Joel, and Bea. Tess deserved that. She deserved to die peacefully, painlessly. You loved her to her very last moments.

Moments after Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, there was a loud explosion of breaking glass, and bright flames. The sound had Joel throwing his body over you and Ellie protectively. You could hear the distant screams of the infected suffering in the hot flames, and billowing smoke. You hoped to god that Tess wasn’t one of those blood curdling screams.

Joel immediately had his gun raised, ready to shoot down any stray infected. There were none. They were all dead. Tess had sacrificed herself for your lives. She gave you a fighting chance and you’d never forget her bravery.

You brought your arm around Ellie’s shaken up frame, giving her a firm squeeze. You kept her close as you turned her body away from the destruction and death.

Joel had already walked away as he could feel tears begin to prick in the corner of his eyes. He quickly blinked them away as he slung his rifle over his shoulder.

The three of you were dead silent as you walked into the nearby woods. Your mind felt numb, and your heart was raw. Tess had so much more life ahead of her to live. She had friends, a lover, and a purpose. She was smart, witty, and brave. She fought for those she loved, till her dying breath.

Joel was crouched down alongside the river, far away from you and Ellie. He was reaching into the clear stream, picking up rocks below the surface and gently stacking them upon one another. He was creating a cairn in her memory. A silent memorial for her short life. He thought of her as he placed each stone on top of one another.

I’m sorry. I should have done more. I should have been quicker. I should have protected you. I let you down. I failed you.

Your approach towards Joel was hesitant. You had no idea how he was going to react to your attempt to comfort him. You knew he didn’t handle loss, of any kind, well. You refused to let him suffer alone. He had his moment where he could mourn in peace. You wouldn’t take that moment from him. He deserved it. You both did. Despite this, your heart pulled you towards him. You had to make sure he was okay. You needed each other more than ever now. Tess’s words echoed in your mind with each step you took. “No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.”

Joel could hear your footsteps slowly approach. His back immediately tensed up at the sound of your boots crunching under stray twigs. His heart yearned for your touch, your comfort. His mind was scrambled. It screamed for him to shut you out. This was your fault, after all. You insisted they take the kid from the get-go. In his eyes, and his fragile mind, Tess was dead because of you.

He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the warm expanse of your palm press between his shoulder blades. His breath trembled as he fought hard to not lean into your touch.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He hissed lowly, keeping himself facing the stream.

“Joel, Please..Don’t—”

“Don’t what? It’s your fuckin’ fault that Tess is dead.” He harshly whispered, clenching his jaw tightly as he let his toxic thoughts slip through his broken, cracked lips.

His words felt like a thousand knives stabbing you in the heart over, and over again. You took a shaky inhale, remembering Tess’s final request to you.

“You don’t mean that. You don’t mean that Joel. You’re upset..let me–”

He whipped around to face you, his eyes narrowed into slits as he rose to his feet, towering over you. “I fuckin’ mean every goddamn word. You insisted from the get-go that we take this fuckin’ kid. I told you it was a bad idea. See what happens when you try to be the fuckin’ hero, Gwen?”

You took a step back from him, feeling your own tears threatening to spill over. “Stop. Please fucking stop! I am not at fault for Tess’s death! Neither of us could have predicted this to happen Joel!”

“I fuckin’ told you that we should just take her back to the QZ! What do you do instead? You fight against me, tooth and fuckin’ nail! Every goddamn fuckin’ time. Why couldn’t you have just listened to me for once in your goddamn life!” He spat, taking two heavy steps towards you.

“Because Ellie is just a fuckin’ kid! She’s just a kid that is now OUR responsibility! Tess agreed that we shouldn’t take her back to the QZ! She agreed with me, Joel!”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he let out a deep chuckle.

“Do you fuckin’ hear yourself right now?! Fuckin’ take some accountability for your fuckin’ actions! Tess is dead because of you! Bea is never going to see her again, because you wanted to fuckin’ save this kid, this cargo! How does it feel, huh? Are you fuckin’ happy with yourself Gwen? Do you feel fuckin’ good inside right now baby?! TELL ME HOW IT FUCKIN’ FEELS!”

Joel’s booming voice rattled your skull, and pierced your heart. You physically felt yourself cowering away from him, shrinking in on yourself.

Ellie had heard Joel’s yell from where she was sitting against a nearby tree. She was up and running to your aid immediately. You watched as the teen shoved at Joel with her hands, pushing him back with rage filled in her tear brimmed eyes.

“Hey! Leave her alone, you fucker! Leave her alone! It’s not her fucking fault! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Ellie yelled as she shoved his chest as hard as she could.

Joel was grabbing the teens wrists in his calloused palms, immediately shoving her away.

“You fuckin’ stay out of this kid! This ain’t your fuckin’ business!” He felt his pulse drop when he heard the familiar click of your gun perched firmly between your shaking hands. The barrel was shakily aimed at him.

“LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS JOEL. YOU WANNA LET YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME? FINE. LEAVE ELLIE OUT OF THIS!” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You gonna fuckin’ shoot me?”

“If you lay your hands on her again, I won’t hesitate.”

“You’re breakin’ my fuckin’ heart baby.”He seethed between his gritted teeth.

“Gwen..” Ellie pleaded with you.

“It’s okay, kid. I will handle this, okay? Please just...just go sit down. Please.” You whispered, giving the teen a reassuring nod that everything would be okay. Joel would never hurt you. He would never dare.

Ellie looked between you, and the brooding man before she reluctantly nodded, walking away.

Your gun was still aimed at your lover as your tears continued to fall. “How fucking dare you speak to me like this Joel. What the fuck is wrong with you?!? How dare you speak to Ellie like that! She has done NOTHING to you, Joel!”

He took a few menacing steps towards you, feeling the barrel of your gun pressed firmly against the cavern of his chest. Your lower lip was trembling, your eyes glassy with tears as you looked up at him.

“You gonna pull that fuckin’ trigger baby? You gonna pump me full of lead?”

“You know I can’t Joel. You know I fuckin’ can’t.” You whispered shakily.

“Just like you can’t fuckin’ admit that you’re the reason Tess is dead. Can’t own up to your fuckin’ actions to save your life.”

“Please stop Joel. Please. I’m begging you to please fucking stop. You’re hurting me. You’re fucking hurting me!” You yelled. Your tone was raw, heartbroken, beaten.

“Who are you fuckin’ shedding those tears for, huh?! You shedding those tears for Tess? She hated you! You know she fuckin’ hated you with every fibre in her fuckin’ being! You don’t get to cry for her! She meant NOTHING to you. Don’t stand there and act like she did! You don’t get to weep and feel sorry for YOURSELF!”

The barrel of your gun was pushing so deep into his chest now. Surely there would be a bruise of some sort forming but it was clear he didn’t give a fuck about that. Not even in the slightest. He felt his heart screaming at him to stop but it was too late. The words were spoken and they were etched deep into your own heart. Joel had gone and done the unforgivable.

“Fuck You. You don’t get to stand there and tell me how I'm allowed to feel Joel! She was my fucking FRIEND too! We had our differences, and we overcame them! I fucking loved her and YOU don’t get to take that away from me! YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO TELL ME HOW I CAN AND CAN’T FEEL!”

Joel’s breaths were coming out in heavy puffs, fanning your face as you watched his nostrils flare, and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. Deep down, he knew this wasn’t an argument to win. He was just devastated that he lost someone so close to him. He never learned how to handle loss well, his old habits, and toxic feelings welcomed him in with soft whispers, and warm touches.

This was not your Joel.

“Gwen…” He whispered.

“No. Fuck you. You don’t get to say all that, speak to me that way, and take it all back. You don’t get to fuckin’ do that Joel.”

“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t–”

“NO.”

“Gwen. You know I didn’t mean it..I lashed out, but I didn’t mean any of it! I got you, you got me, Always. Remember? I’m so sorry I–”

As soon as he was reaching out for you, you harshly pushed him away, pressing the barrel of the gun further into his chest.

“You’ll never fucking touch me again Joel. Never.” You whispered.

You removed the barrel of the gun from his chest, pointing it upwards towards the sky, before you pulled the trigger.

The deafening sound of the bullet being released and cracking through the cool air had him flinching.

You wanted him to know that you could have pulled the trigger on him. You loved that man too much to hurt him. You could never.

“Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t you dare come near me.” You seethed, tucking your gun back into the holster around your waist before you turned on your heel, and walked away from him.

Joel was left standing near the rivers edge, watching as you walked far, far away from him.

‘Cause do I love you..Oh, I do..and I'm going to ‘til I'm gone…’

Tag list:

@chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @dinsdjrn @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @pedrostories

[internerdionality]

In honor of Fuck or Die Fifteenth of September...

Here's an excerpt (below the cut) from my current Fuck or Die fic featuring Nathan Stark, Jack Carter, and Allison Blake of the Eureka fandom, which was supposed to be a short PWP and supposed to be all ready to post today...

But as usual, I just had to take that crackfic ultra seriously, which means it's now a 60K novel and climbing. I'll hopefully start posting in the next couple of months, follow me here or on AO3 if you're interested in reading more!

“I made up a list of all the people who are cleared to know about GD-175, and have volunteered to help,” Allison said. Her voice was irritatingly soft and empathetic. Coddling him. “I thought you’d want to know that every single person who was cleared for the information—with two exceptions, both of whom aren’t at all attracted to men—volunteered.” 

Jack snorted as he took the single sheet of paper with a—very—short list on it.  “Sure. ‘Volunteered’. Heard that one before.” 

Allison frowned (still empathetically. She was starting to remind him of his third-grade teacher. Unfortunately, that still wasn’t a turn-off. Although that might just be the sex virus talking. Damn this town). 

“I didn’t put any pressure on them, Carter,” she said. “Every person on that list knows that your life is on the line, and has willingly consented to do what’s necessary to save you. And you should know—”

“Dr. Allison Blake,” Jack read off the first name. A white wave of numbness crashed over him.  

She nodded, determination firming up her lips. “I’m happy to—” 

“No,” he said quickly. Almost without conscious thought, but a second of reflection just cemented the decision. “Absolutely not.” 

She couldn’t hide the flash of offended hurt that crossed through her eyes, and he cocked his head to the side, softening. 

“Hey. No, Allison, jeez. Not like that. Of course I would… It’s just… Look. We work together, and I’ve never wanted to make that awkward, and yeah, I’m still a little mad about you keeping things from me that could endanger the town, but… That doesn’t mean I’ve completely given up on us, okay? Let’s just say, I'm not ready to poison this well before it even, uh, starts to fill up with water? I might be letting this metaphor run away with me a bit…” 

He rubbed the back of his head, laughing self-deprecatingly. But it worked—those gorgeous, expressive brown eyes warmed, and she tilted her head down just slightly, looking up at him bashfully through long eyelashes. Hell yeah. He’d known there was something there, even if the moment had never been quite right between them. 

Which was why he wasn’t going to let their first time be some kind of pity fuck, of all idiotic things. No matter how much his dick was screaming at him not to let her walk away. 

“Look, you’re totally sure that you can’t just fix this with a needle or something?” he begged her, holding on to his last vestige of denial. 

“If you’re volunteering to get stabbed, I know it really is bad. I’m sorry, Carter,” she said, and the rueful smile with which she’d delivered the joke dropped away. “We already tried the only synthetic treatment we have, and it didn’t work for about 15% of the exposed patients, you included. Masters and Johnson aside, there hasn’t been nearly enough scientific research into human sexuality involving practical studies.” 

“—practical studies,” Jack murmured, visualizing it. 

“As a result, we really don’t have a good enough understanding of what happens to the body during sexual intercourse to be confident that we can replicate it with enough accur—” 

“You’re not confident,” Jack interrupted, “but you have some idea—” 

“No, Carter,” she said firmly. “Maybe if there wasn’t another option… Or if we didn’t have a time limit. Your viral load has already reached a near-critical level. You’ll start feeling symptoms within hours, maybe less, and after that—” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Fever, seizures, death. I’ve seen it, remember?” 

She winced, and he sighed, shrugging in apology. Granted, Eureka’s death rate was something people knew when they moved here, but that didn’t make it any easier to have lost two people in one day. Especially to some kind of fuck or die escaped mutated virus.  Damn this town. 

“So, we’re not going to take a chance,” she said firmly. “You need to have sex with one of the people on that list, soon. ” 

Carter groaned, then held up the list again, only to jerk his eyes back up in shock and alarm. “Uhhh, I think you might have made a mistake here. This is mostly men.” 

She shrugged (empathetically, damn her). “You know that as the head of GD, I have access to your psych evaluation results, including Beverly’s expert opinion on your sexual orientation…” 

“Oh… come on!” Jack yelled, then cleared his throat as the complaint came out somewhat higher-pitched than he’d intended. “Is nothing private, anymore? And also, that is not what I meant by—Ooh! Plus! Beverly is probably evil, remember? She was clearly pushing some kind of agenda there—”  

“Look, Carter, I don’t care about your sexual identity or fantasies. As long as they don’t interfere with the security of GD, which is why I have access,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, if—”

“Wait a second, does that mean that Stark read this… evaluation or whatever, when he was head of GD?” Jack asked, horrified by the sudden thought. 

“Anyway,” Allison continued blithely (which meant that Stark absolutely had read it. Crap.), “if I excluded the men, the list would be pretty short. I wanted to give you all your options, but obviously you can choose one of the women. I have their headshots here, if you don’t remember what they lo—” 

“Yeah, no,” Jack said firmly, waving off the red folder in her hand. “You know what? I’ll take number seven.”

The skin between her brows wrinkled adorably.  Taking back the list, she scanned it quickly, then pursed her lips to the side. She couldn’t maintain the scowl, however, as the corners of her mouth kept twitching free. 

“Don’t say a word,” Jack said, seeing the disaster coming. 

“Of course not,” she said, lips spreading even farther, “No judgment here, Carter.” 

“Uh-huh,” he said skeptically. “Sure.” 

She shrugged, elaborately casual. “I just didn’t realize we had so much in common.”

“Yep, there it is.”  

“Methinks the sheriff doth—” 

“I will pay you ten thousand dollars to stop talking right now.” 

“—protest too much,” Allison finished, finally giving in to a wickedly wide grin. “And I pay your salary, Carter. I know you don’t have ten—“

“That’s it, I changed my mind, I want to die after all—”

[justagalwhowrites]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag, @sawymredfox!!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

21

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

1,032,269. When you throw in the Tumblr only stuff I think I'm closer to 1.2 million overall.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Pedro Pascal fandom, mostly TLOU! But I'd love to spend some time with Poe Dameron, my beloved, so I might dive into Star Wars beyond Mando at some point :)

4. top five fics by kudos 

I'm really not sure on Tumblr? Individual chapters don't get as much attention and I don't write many one shots, my highest single post on Tumblr is probably a one shot but I have NO CLUE which one!

On AO3:

Lavender

Beskar Doll

Yearling

New in Town

Lavender No Outbreak AU

5. do you respond to comments?

I used to be so much better about doing this and I've just not been keeping up with it lately. I want to get back to it! I LOVE getting comments, they make me so happy! Part of my issue is I read them immediately even if I don't have time to respond and I'm like "I'll respond when I post the next chapter" and then I post the next chapter super late at night and I'm so tired and I'm just like "I'll reply later" and then I never do.

ANYWAY! I want to get back to replying to comments because I love them. I used to reply to every one. Less now.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Proof of Life, an angsty as hell QZ!Joel era one shot. I traffic in angst but I like my happy endings, especially for long fics :)

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lavender I think. After all that angst, they got the life they wanted and saved the world. Not too shabby.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I haven't really! I've had a few people disagree with directions I took characters or plot lines and a few people send asks that didn't feel so nice but I'm not sure they were intended to not be nice. I try to not take those things personally. But everyone as been exceedingly kind, probably kinder than I deserve!

9. do you write smut?

I do but I feel like it's my weakest area. If you're looking primarily for smut and reading my stuff, you're probably in the wrong place, I'm sorry! I wish I was better at it! I feel like I'm getting better at it. But alas!

10. craziest crossover?

I haven't written any and I haven't really read any, either. Closest thing I came to a crossover I think is tying the prequel trilogy and the original trilogy of Star Wars into Doll's history in Beskar Doll.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

None so far!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not shared anywhere but I do have commenters in other languages tell me they've put my fic into Google Translate to read it! I think that's immensely cool .

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't but I'd be open to it! 

14. all time favorite ship?

Of characters that actually exist in canon? Probably Han Solo and Leia Organa. I LOVE them. Love love love love LOVE them. The "I love you" "I know" in Empire followed by the reversal in Jedi? TO DIE FOR.

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As far as fics go? None. I have the stories so thoroughly planned there I'm compelled to finish them, I can't help it. I wasn't always this thorough of a planner, though, and I have so many books that I've started and written like 40k words of that I'll probably never finish. That breaks my heart a little. All these characters who won't get to live their whole lives because I can't get their stories across the finish line. But I'm not sure I have enough hours left in the rest of my life to tell every story I've got inside me so it'll have to be what it will be!

16. what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything else lol especially smut. I feel like my descriptions are often lacking, too.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Yes please! As long as the author can do it right (either because they know the language enough or get help from someone who does - the translate tools just aren't great at grammar and it takes me out if it's a language I know.)

19. first fandom you wrote in?

The Pedro fandom! Specifically, the Mandalorian. Beskar Doll, my first baby <3

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Lavender? Maybe Yearling. It's so hard to say! I'm probably the most attached to Doc and Joel, though.

NP tags: @dancingtotuyo @beardedjoel @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @netherfeildren and anyone else who wants to play!

[azreactstowormtheserial]

Overboard [8.1-11.8]

SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SCROLL WHEN YOU HIT KEEP READING

--Yeah... Sorry for not keeping to that 'one arc at a time' promise. But whilst I'm in medical-recovery mode I have nothing better to do than Worm [The Serial] my afternoons away.

And look at that! I'm 1/3 through all of the main story. At least, by Arc-No. ? My friend said come the end of Arc 8, I'd graduated from 'Early Worm'. Should I be scared or happy to be gradually approaching 'Late Worm'?

Speaking of.

ARC 8 -- EXTERMINATION

Title Accurate.

ARC 9 -- SE

Okay, okay. I'll talk about Arc 8. It's a little weird to talk about as a whole. Way easier in the moment, reacting to things as they happen.

"1 in 4 of you (at least) will die."

Tattletale "down".

Aegis, Gallant, Iron Falcon, Mr. G,

Taylor -breaking her spine -- she could have died!

And I thought I couldn't handle the stress of the inter-group dynamic potentially crumbling at the end of Arc 7. Don't worry, we'll get to that.

The endbringers are a terrifying concept. Like, what do you do? Wear it down, hundreds dying to prevent hundreds of thousands from dying, only for it to recover for a few years, months, who knows-- before it attacks somewhere else, almost unprompted?

Almost. I have no idea what it was doing, edging slowly towards Coil's base like a fucking NGE Angel. That's almost as scary.

It just, picked people off. Indiscriminantly.

Kaiser. A powerful, influential-- horrible excuse for a human being, but still, a major player-- he's just dead! Just like that!

I'd started to like a few of The Wards towards the the end of Arc 6, I think. At first it was easy to group them into a 'haha these kids don't know any better, they're really snot-nosed about being heroes'-- which feels a lot nicer a label than what's actually happening.

They're just kids! 15, 16, Vista is 13. 13! Kids that've had a traumatic past, in one way or another. Up against, and dying to, an existential threat. Sentinel really helped put this into perspective.

I'd love to talk about individual moments that I thought were cool; Tattletale's analysis of Leviathan, The truce between heroes and villains, Clockblocker absolutely stepping the fuck up and pretty much clutching the entire fight. But I need to talk about Armsmaster.

(These few lines saved me.)

ARMSMASTER. You horrific excuse for a human being. Jeopardizing CHILDREN'S LIVES, YOUR COMRADES LIVES, PEOPLE'S LIVES-- AND FOR WHAT!?!?!?!?

WAIT NO STOP NO

I absolutely hate this fucking guy. How do you ruin everything in the middle of a natural(?) disaster killing thousands.

(Did I mention Shadow Stalker is Sophia. Huh. That's interesting! I'm sure it won't come up again.)

The arc ends really bittersweet.

I'm really sorry, Bitch. Showing up and saving Taylor was an amazing moment, but that's over half of your closest family, just gone.

But, I totally called it.

I know I wanted to take a break after all that, but I couldn't just leave it at "I told her my answer." -- I had to find out what it was!! So, after a few hours of psyching myself up, I got straight into the Interlude.

ARC 8 -- INTERLUDE [COIL]

How do you beat Coil? What -happened- to Coil to give him this power? Applied perfectly, his power makes him practically invulnerable. One of his only weak points being the immediacy after closing his second universe.

I still don't know how to feel about Coil. He's said in vague terms that his plan for Brockton Bay was to improve. Taylor, I think, took this to mean that people's livelihoods would be better. People would have food, shelter, water. But it's so difficult to tell, even with a direct view into his mind like this interlude gave. All I know is that this is a plan he's put a considerable amount of time and his life towards-- it has to mean a lot to him and he has to be strong in his ideals. I only hope that he isn't utterly insane.

Because if he is? If his motives are 'evil', unjust-- if you can even say they have the potential to be just, with how he operates-- I don't know if anyone can beat him.

...

Shit.

ARC 9 -- SENTINEL

This arc was nice. The breather I needed, and was worried I wouldn't get, after Arc 8's Interlude.

I mentioned that I'd started to like The Wards a little earlier in the story, so the emotional beats really worked here for me. And even if I didn't, this arc'd easily have been a turning point.

\=====

[Az.Interlude: Obligatory Wards (And Co.) Tier List]

Bold means #1 in each thing if there's more than 1.

S [Super :)] - Flechette, Glory Girl, ****Shadow Stalker****, Vista

A [A cool character] - *Clockblocker, Gallant, Kid Win, Panacea, ****Weld***

B [Baegis Tier] - Aegis

C [Cant Remember] - Browbeat

(Sorry Browbeat, who apparently died offscreen in Arc 8.)

\====

I say it's nice, but really we're just seeing a few kids grieve the deaths of their friends. Is that what 'nice' is, in Worm?

Sophia/Shadow Stalker is growing into a more and more interesting character. Though everyone got their fair share of attention, I found her scenes, like the one with Flechette in 9.2, quite interesting.

I* think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. *

A lot of my thoughts on Arc 9 I think are just snippets at characters I like. I really liked Weld, and felt 'kinda bad for him. He's trying his best! He's just walking into all this mess.

Vista's chapter made me cry. She's so strong for standing up to Shadow Stalker like that! And the story's tackling on trying to 'fill in' somebody's role after they've passed really hit me like a freight train.

\====

[Az.Interlude 2: Now Obligatory Protectorate (and Dragon) Tier List]

S [This is actually based off of the arc 10 interlude, wait for that.] - Dragon

A [Assault- Oh] - Miss Militia

B [Battery] - Battery

C [Cool? I think?] - Assault, Triumph, Velocity

D ['Dunno] - [Anyone who I haven't remembered. I don't know that many...]

F [Fucking Armsmaster] - Guess who

\====

9.3 was a nifty chapter, too. It's probably the only instance of a 'character are bored in an exposition-lecture' that I've actually thought was pretty well done?

Also, it's nice to get some Clockblocker characterisation. He gets a pass for his flaws because of his context. I do hope his dad ends up getting healed-- but the scenario as a whole really makes me feel for Amy/Panacea. There's so much suffering in the world, and it's -technically- preventable. Just through her. How much of a weight on her shoulders is that?

\====

[Az.Interlude 3: Favorite Arcs]

S - [Super Good Arc] [4. Shell] [8. Extermination] [9. Sentinel] [10. Parasite.]

A [A really good Arc] - [11. Infestation] [6. Tangle] [7. Buzz]

B [Breally good] - [1. Gestation] [2. Insinuation] [3. Agitation]

\====

(See what I'm doing there, by the way? Interlude Arc? Load of Interlude Tier lists? Whatever.) KID WIN ADHD TINKER REP!!!!

I think that's my cue to hop on over to

ARC 10 -- PARASITE

Okay, sure, sure-- Taylor's back, but on uneasy terms, swallowing her pride, sure--

ALEC. ALEC! I THOUGHT YOU JUST MADE PEOPLE TRIP! And I thought even how -that- power was utilized was a little horrifying. This is just... I mean. I'll talk about it some more in the interlude.

Hi Imp! It's nice to meet you! Where'd you come from? Or maybe she was here the whole time, and that's her power--

Imp's neat. I like her power, and I'm hoping we see more of her! She doesn't quite live up to the rest of the gang just yet, but, I mean-- they've been around 9 more arcs. I was wondering if The Undersiders were going to recruit some more members...

This Arc's short but sweet. An infiltration à la the bank robbery, some fights with some superheroes-- and, Dragon!!! Dragon is so cool!!! I love Dragon!!!! We'll get there!!!!

I expected Bitch and Taylor to have a proper confrontation about everything, but... She really just sabotaged her mid-mission? Taylor's beatdown of her was unfortunately deserved-- like, c'mon. You're hurt. More than any of the others, really. But you didn't even 'eye for an eye' her, you went ahead and 'eye for a head' or whatever the relevant saying'd be. I

*really

* hope she takes her up on that offer.

Everything was going alright, even if Dragon'd appeared and made the escape a little tricky. And, oh. A meeting with Coil. Maybe Taylor can hash things out, and come up with a deal that reflects her--

So. That's one way to make an impression of a new overarching villain group. What the actual fuck, Jack. The absolute balls of this reveal-- I have no idea what to make of it, and already Jack just in how he's been described in passing, and-- this-- already made me clock him as a huge threat. I can't wait to see how this goes. I'm sure it'll go great. I'm sure.

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [ALEC]

Alec, alecalecalec-- What the actual fuck. I really should have thought twice when Lisa clocked you as a sociopath on first sight. This chapter was scary. Even Sophia doesn't deserve that. The "breach of privacy" -- if you can even -call- it that, with how far it went, made me sick to my stomach.

It's 'kinda crazy that this is just something that continued word-for-word from an earlier chapter. What else has happened directly after Taylor's POV left a scene? What has she missed?

I'm sure this won't come back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Or that.

I think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. [2]

Even after all that. I still like Alec. I think. In his own, fucked up, twisted way, he's getting payback for Taylor. He just has no limit. And, I mean-- he is still a kid. That had a horrendous, abuse-ridden upbringing. I don't know. I'm allowed to have complicated feelings about the main cast!

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [DRAGON]

Dragon, on the other hand, is objectively fucking cool. She's not even human! What?! It's 2011! Or something like that. I'm a bit of a dork for the 'kinda stuff that the opening third of this chapter was. That it was layered with limitations, purposeful, intended ones that dig under Dragon's skin at all times-- that she's keeping this a secret from even her closest co-workers-- only made me root for her character even more. I'm hoping she's, uh. 'One of the good ones'? Is that how you'd put it? Weird considering she's a hero, but--

*Armsmaster. *Come on.

Oh, look. It came back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Taylor in Arc 11 ruminates on how she'd face losing her civillian identity. But I don't think she quite understands the ramification of it just yet. This is the beginning of the end, in that regard-- Dragon found her.

I'll try not to gush about an interlude too much just to get to Arc 11 and wrap up this post before the day's over, so I'll just leave it at:

*The conversation between Lung and Marquis was very interesting. ****I hope Amy is okay.***

Arc 11 -- INFESTATION (I haven't read the interludes yet! I thought the final base-11 was a good place to stop.)

The Merchants are pretty fucked up, huh? 'Might makes Right' as an actual group philosphy never works. And I don't think the leader's are -that- stupid. I wonder what their deal is?

And, yeah. I'll finally bring it up, Worm. You've got me. *I'm interested in whatever the fuck Case 53 is. *And so is Faultine, apparently. Let's hope they stay in touch with Lisa.

Skitter taking over her territory was rad. She'll make a great monarch! (Queen bee? Is there an insect joke you can make here?)

Whatever my views about how things should be handled, Taylor's helping people in the here and now, and keeping groups like The Merchants out. Helping families. I think what she's doing is right.

And, for once, it all works out! Not without a hitch. Or an underlying dread. Taylor being the arbiter of one of the more straight up 'bad' Merchant's fate is a little telling that her moral's have shifted, somewhat. She's more comfortable leaving someone to die than insisting they have the right to a fair trial, etc-- even if the situtation did totally call for it.

Faultline's crew showing up was neat. I don't think I've mentioned Labyrinth, actually. Her and Newter are my favorite of Faultline's crew. I might go back and re-read Gregor's interlude, just for another look at how Faultline runs things.

And, my god. Brian finally picked up some slack, after some nudging via Lisa. Good on her. The dynamic needs some work from the both of them to build up the trust they once had. But they'll be friends in no time. I hope. Everything's working out.

...

*Oh my god, No, Taylor you can't ****say it!***

Everything is going to go to shit, isn't it?

I don't want to read on anymore. Can't it stop right here? Taylor won, got her friends back? Please?

See you all on the other side. Promise it won't take as long.

[sevdrag]

spoilers: i am an engineer

hello tumblr, and welcome to the most well informed shitpost you're going to see today: some Fun With Data involving the Harry Du Bois vs Vriska poll that just went around.

We started watching the poll just as the swing in votes started to happen, and as such, we're missing some crucial data I'll be upfront about. The poll started at noon, and we didn't start taking in information until the percentages started to change, at 13:53, so we don't have information on total vote count for the first 2 hours of the poll. And in the rush to nerd out about this, our first few data points of the vote swing - where you see the most change - didn't have total vote count either. There is also a brief period where I had to take my cat to the emergency room, and a longer period where my ass slept because this is just a silly tumble poll. Those present as straight lines in charts like this, but keep in mind, they could have had wild variation for all I know. However, based on the results, I doubt it. Big thanks to @smolalienbee and @pass-the-salt and I think @orderlyhouse for screencapping this data and relentlessly spamming the discord with it so that I could put it in this spreadsheet like the nerd I am. (do YOU have screencaps? DM me!)

Early on in polls like this when total vote count is low, you expect to see big swings -- with 4000 votes total, for example, the amount you need to swing a vote 1% is 80 people. As these go up, however, obviously, the amount of votes needed to swing 1% increases. By the end of this poll, 1541 tumblr users would have had to make UNCOUNTERED votes, that were NOT cancelled out, to move the poll 1%.

According to our data, the swing you see above took place over a two-and-a-half hour period. For the remaining 20 hours of the poll, votes one way or the other weren't significant enough to be seen in the tumblr results.

For those who are interested, our first data point showing the 50/50 split hits at 16:21, when total votes were at 14194. From this point on, voters would have needed at least 248 UNCOUNTERED/NOT CANCELLED OUT votes to change the poll a single 1%. Just numbers to keep in mind! We talk about this at the end :)

Any winning margin smaller than 248 would, therefore, not register to tumblr. Keep in mind that by the end of the poll this number was 1541 votes required to swing a percentage, because the total vote pool grew so heavily.

In the end, as it turns out, after 77,019 votes, the poll was won with a margin of only 618 votes. final percentages were, surprisingly neatly, 50.4% v 49.6%. Won by 0.8%! Now that's a close poll.

(thanks to @mio-nika for grabbing these and @smolalienbee for confirming!)

Because I was additionally curious, and a huge nerd, I wanted to go in and calculate votes per minute to see whether there was anything weird going on. I am going to be polite and put this under a cut to save your dash from my utter nerd joy, but I have caveats to put in here first.

The first thing to keep in mind is that your data is only as good as your collection method! In our case, it was a very unprofessional method that went: someone took a screencap and posted it in Discord, and I entered it into a spreadsheet with the time entered as whatever time Discord registered it. While this ended up being pretty accurate for a 24-hour poll, it presents the problem that will come up when we start talking about votes per minute: I only could measure in increments of a minute, because getting into seconds here would have been (a) impossible and (b) super overkill. However, that means that there's more noise in the votes-per-minute data because everything is assumed to be in increments of 1 full minute. Good scientists acknowledge the weaknesses of their data sets as they do their analysis! (Source: I worked in research for 15 fucking years lol.)

Here is my ESTIMATE of votes per minute at each of the data points taken above. The green trendline is a rolling average that tells the story of the poll, more or less: Lots of quick voting at the beginning, calming down over the (American) evening, then ramping back up at the end. Much like we'd expect, I think.

(And again, remember that the bit in the middle where Americans AND Europeans were asleep presents as a straight line here but could be ALL over the place. We don't have that data because we were sleep like good feral grownups.)

The noise at the beginning, I suspect, is again because I'm measuring over small and discrete increments of time. However, unless Tumblr wants to help me develop an app dumping real-time poll results into my EXCEL 24/7, there's no reasonable way I can see to get around this. Because of the noise there's a big standard deviation on here that I'm too lazy to really dig into because I did all of this while I was supposed to be working for the government, so imagine your error bars appropriately.

So what does this mean?

Well, let's make a couple assumptions for conversational purposes. Looks like people were voting at about 50 votes per minute during the slow times, and up over 100 votes per minute during the fast times.

At the beginning of the 50/50 period, we would have needed 248 votes one way to see the percentage change. Votes per minute at this point were flying, at about 100 votes/minute. That's only (the equivalent of) 3 minutes of voting time that would have had to go SOLID for either Vriska or Harry to produce a 1% change we could see on the face of the poll. And while we certainly weren't watching it live, the density of our data for the next hour or so was pretty solid, and we didn't see a 1% change. We have screencaps, baby! 248 votes going one way or the other at this particular point is chump change at that speed, so it IS surprising that we didn't see more scatter around 49/51 for an hour or so before things settled in.

In fact, I would stretch to say it's unusual to have seen such an even curve as the percentages changed on their way to 50/50, in a case where a few minutes' worth of solid voters could still have an impact, but as this is the first time I've ever done anything like this on a fucking tumble poll, I am not putting money on that either.

If someone wants to pay me, I am more than happy to become a tumble poll expert!

At the end of the poll, votes were also flying in, on average about 80 votes per minute. At this point, we would have needed over 1500 votes one way or another to see a last-minute shift. That's (the equivalent of) 19 solid straight minutes of every single voter picking the same candidate. So at the end it is NOT surprising to not see any 49/51 fluctuation. This is why once polls settle in, they so rarely change. It's just statistics.

So, Sev. Was this poll botted? I don't fucking know. We all need to go outside. However, if you're going to make drama on it, please do it on this post so that I can see. I'm getting laid off in 2 days and I would love the distraction and entertainment!

And a big thanks to @handwrittenhello for all the work they put in to this, and personally for providing me with an opportunity to spend a day doing one of my favorite things: working with data in Excel!

[fuckkbrunch]

Busy weekend this time. Trying to make up for the week I lost, but I'm still ahead of the game. Just passed recipe 90 this week, out of 117. So 27 recipes remain, with 17 weeks left to do them. Totally feasible. I get a few stat days around Thanksgiving and Christmas, so that'll help me squeeze in a few...

Woke up and started this before I even had breakfast.

I really enjoy this photo. Like, I don't like seafood that much, but the composition is great.

Anyway, tossed all this in tomato paste and roasted for ten minutes. Tony says 15, but they were starting to scorch and I didn't wanna risk it.

Your typical stock set up. I really love buying a whole bunch of parsley to use only 4 stems. Is that really necessary? Also I had to peel the celery, which I've never done for stock. Yes, by the way - that sheet pan is resting on my toaster to slightly increase my counter space.

Still love this cheap ass stock pot for its reflective qualities. At least the photos from this recipe are nice, because making it was so fucking boring.

Roasted the shells with the veg, peppercorns and bay leaves. Cover with two inches of water and simmer until you have 2-4 quarts (litres) of stock. Took me about 5 and a half hours, which includes the hour or so it took to come up to a simmer.

I strained this puppy so well. I passed this through fresh, doubled up cheesecloth 4 or 5 times. I was tempted to pass it through a paper towel, but I already only had around 2 quarts (litres), so I didn't wanna sacrifice more liquid to paper towels. I need some of this stock for the ravioli recipe as well, and there's no way I'm doing this again this year.

| Shellfish Stock |

Taste actually, technically, isn't rated. I didn't try it on its own, I just trusted that it would work for the shrimp bisque the following day...

Difficulty is a 3.5 out of 5. A lot of babysitting. Skimming scum, and clarifying.

Time was nearly 7 hours. I expected it to be longer.

Now obviously, this will stink up your whole place. Close your bedroom doors, open every window, plan accordingly. Tony says you can make this with shrimp, crab or lobster shells. I had saved these shells from the lobster roll recipe, so it was a pretty nice full circle there.

I'm probably going to have a little leftover stock after the other recipes are said and done, so I'm thinking of making a seafood risotto with it. Expanding my seafood horizons.

[resi4skz]

CHAPTER 4

Pairing: idol!Chan x Rebecca Greywood (OC)

Warnings: none for this chapter

This is purely fiction!

Cover by: @3rachasdomesticbanana

For the next few weeks, I got Luna acquainted with the few necessities to get around outside. I got her a new phone number, got her registered in korean classes and some days I would let her follow the map on her phone whenever we were out. We even visited Just Java and had their coffee. It was the yummiest coffee I've ever had. We enjoyed every bit of the time we had with each other. Luckily, we started our work next month also so it was great to know that she won't be home alone.

"Hey, Luna, do you want to try tteokbokki?" I ask as I scroll through the menu on my phone. "I'll tell them to make it very mild."

"Sure!"

I find a restaurant with good reviews and order on the food app. "Okay, our order will be here soon. I even ordered fried chicken."

As we wait for the food to arrive, I turn on the tv to pass time. "Hey, what if you get to work for Stray Kids?"

"Doubtful," I say flipping through channels.

"Hey now. Don't underestimate your skills."

"I'm not. I just don't want my first day to work THE group. What if I say something really embarrassing?"

"Then you'll have something to tell your grandkids." I hit her arm as she laughs. "Relax. You'll do fine, trust me."

Our food finally arrives and we eat as we watch tv. I even teach her some words in Korean when she asks me. We finish eating our dinner and soon we start getting ready for bed. After doing my skin care, I settle myself in my bed and turn off the light. Let's hope Luna is right about me doing well at my job next month. I promise myself that whoever I will end up with, I will give it my best.

------------------------------------------------------------

Next month rolls around pretty fast and I get more and more nervous which I shouldn't be feeling. A few days ago, I went out and registered for a Korean name: Kim Na Eun. Only Luna and I know about this though.

Luna finally started working at the coffee shop today and I'm standing in front of my mirror as I examine my outfit. I'm wearing a beige button shirt with a long black jean skirt and white sneakers. Giving myself pep talk before I head out. "You got this, Becca."

It takes me half hour to reach JYPE and soon I'm in the HR department filling out some forms. I get introduced to my team members and soon I'm following one of the staff members, Yujin, down towards the makeup rooms. She told me I'll also be meeting the group that I will be assigned to. She introduced me to other makeup artists and I was surprised that everyone was so friendly which made me feel at ease somewhat.

She leads me to another room full of makeup vanities. There were a total of 12 chairs and even had a couch at one end. "They should be arriving shortly." I smile at her as I wait with her. I admire all the vanities that had makeup products laid out along with hair tools. The door opens and I hear the commotion of a couple of guys laughing and talking but I don't turn around as I'm still looking at all the makeup stations. "Becca-ssi!"

"Ne," I turn around and I suddenly wished I was still home.

"These are the guys I was talking about. You're assigned to them."

Back home, whatever I did, whether it was school work or job wise, it wasn't ever good enough for my father. I wanted to learn dancing when I was 15 but took my money pot away that I had been saving since I was 10. I wanted to learn ballet, dad called the ballet dance school and had them deny my admission. Whatever it was, it wasn't worth my while because he wanted me to become a surgeon like him. So he had me studying 24/7 till I collapsed and was on bed rest for 3 months. Even then, he gave me stuff to do related to medicine. Since then, I always did what he wanted me to do. Till last year, I did whatever made him happy. But when I finally stood up, he crushed my dreams.

I was very glad because I got all certifications, even international ones, for this moment all thanks to Luna. Of course, she was on my side the entire time. If it wasn't for her, I don't know how I could've dealt with all the stress. She pushed me and told me give it all my best. And thats's exactly what I did. Living in a new country was surreal. Everything was new to me. The food, the environment, the smell in the air.

But now as I stand in front of 8 handsome men staring back at me, I don't think my life could get any better. All of them introduced themselves to me and I was in awe of their beauty. Each member had their own aura. I glance around and noticed that only 4 out of 9 had different hair colors. I made a mental note to tell Luna later when one of them walked towards me. He had blonde with blue streaks styled hair, eyes that shined like stars and a jawline that was swoon worthy. I couldn't help but stare at him as he stood in front of me. Bang Chan stood in front of me. I know somewhere Luna is kicking her feet in the air.

"You're not from here, are you?" Bang Chan asked.

My god. I had seen him a few months ago. I don't know if I can handle this. I mean out of all the boys, he was the one I was most fascinated with. I watched them from their pre-debut days till now. And he's right here. Standing. Looking all glorious. In front of me. And who knew I would be seeing him again.

"No, I'm from Australia," I replied, containing my posture.

"Oh, really?" The way his eyes lit up, I wanted take a picture of it. "Which part?"

"Melbourne." I replied. I don't think he remembers me?

"Ah, the city of night life and architecture," he said, smiling. I think my mental state is not okay at the moment. Seeing his smile was one of my favourite part of him. It always made my day. But to see it in person....

"Yes, but I never got to enjoy it. I like Seoul more," I said.

"So you'll be our new makeup artist?" He asked. When I'm about say something, the voices come.

"What's your name?"

"Does she like ice cream?"

"Ask her age!"

All these questions came like a firing round in a game. I burst out laughing but immediately stop when they look at me. "Sorry."

I looked at all of them and replied in korean, "My name is Rebecca Greywood. I'm 20, korean age 21. And I like chocolate flavor."

It got quiet and I blinked at them looking back at me. "Uh, did I say something wrong?" Even the staff was looking at me. "Uhhh, hello?"

Felix the one with blonde hair, Jeongin with red/pink hair  and Seungmin the one with dark brown hair, skipped towards Bang Chan and smiled. "Noona!"

Noona? Oh my god. I need to call Luna like asap.

"Yah," Bang Chan said to his kids who immediately went quiet. "Don't scare her. Sorry about them, teenagers and all."

"It's fine," I say, waving them off. Internally, my brain is doing math of Bang Chan's and my age. Oh my god. If I'm 20, and if I'm doing the math right, he's older than me by 2 years. "Nice to meet you all."

All the other members bow and smile at me. And Bang Chan extends his hand towards me. "Welcome to the team."

I look at him and his hand. I raise my hand and shake his hand. "Thank you."

As he's walking back to the members, Yujin comes to me. "Oh I forgot to tell you. You'll be one of the main makeup artist for Bang Chan, Felix, and Han."

Wait, did she say Bang Chan? "Gamsahamnida," I say and look around the room. The eight of them were chatting and fooling around whereas I have only seen them like that on my laptop. I try to compose myeelf but the fangirl inside me wants to scream. I fish out my phone and take a quick selfie with the room behind me and quickly send it Luna. I put my phone on silent. I will have to talk to her when I'm off work.

One of the staff members claps her hand. "Alright, we have a new member joining is officially today!" She gestures towards me as everyone in the room, including the boys clap welcoming me. I bow and smile.

"Thank you for having me." I clench my hands trying to get the nerves out.

"Alright, we have a show in a few hours. Felix and Han will be covered today, Rebecca-ssi. So you can get started on Chan."

I don't think I heard her right. Did she just I have to work on him? The man that made the fandom go crazy over his abs? I look at where he's sitting playing games on his phone. Jeez, even sitting down like that he's attractive. Damn, I don't think I'm going to be able to survive this job.

Putting my feelings aside, I walk over to where he's sitting. "Please make yourself comfortable. I'll start by prepping your skin." I turn towards the makeup items laid put for me to use. Wow. They really went out. I quickly study the table and spot the skincare stuff. Picking up on of the moisturizer, I study and frown at the ingredients. "Why are they using this stuff? This will just make your skin dry and break out after," I mutter under my breath. But not my place to say anything so I sanitize my hands before I turn around and start prepping his skin. I use gentle hands and when my fingers touch his cheeks, I nearly swoon over how smooth it is. Holy, I would kill to have this smooth and silky skin. I start the makeup with foundation application followed by concealer to hide any blemishes and blend everything together.

Once I know the foundation looks great, I put face powder followed by eyebrow shaping and eye makeup. I strictly kept it professional but couldn't help to admire his beauty. When his eyes were closed, I noticed his eyelashes. They weren't long but weren't short either. The last thing that was left were his lips. I gulped when he tilted his head up so I could apply the lip products easily. Gently, I swipe the product over his plump lips. I don't outline his lips that much. "Where do I know you from?"

I freeze and look at him to him looking at me. "Sorry?"

"Have we met before?" He asks.

Yes. It's what I want to say. But I shake my head. "No."

"Oh." He says, still looking at me.

"Okay, you're all done." I say as I put the brush in my hand down beside all the brushes.

"That was fast," he says as he gets up to inspect my work. I watch as he checks his face thoroughly and his eyes go wide at particular spot. It was where he had a blemish or a simply an aftermath of a popped pimple. "You covered it? I can't even tell that it was there. Wow."

I beam at him. "I'm glad you like it."

"Thank you." He simply smiles warmly at me and I drop a brush, not because I wanted to but because I was transfixed on his smile. I only wish I could've taken a picture. He bends down, picks up the brush and hands it to me.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Then he leaves to go to the other members.

I think I need a break.

------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently sitting in the break room having my lunch. A few people were sitting and eating their lunch too. I have my phone in my hand watching a dance practice of one of Stray Kids songs and I almost want to dance to it.....if there weren't people around. I receive a text from Luna.

L: uh, what is that picture of?

R: me with people I'm working for and with.

L: and WHY exactly why do I see the faces of Bang Chan, Han and Seungmin? Felix?

I stifle a laugh and try not to choke on my food.

R: that's because I'm their MUA.

L: ....

R: girl, I'll see you when I get home because my lunch just ended.

L: get back here!

I grin as I pack up the leftovers and head out of the break room. But before heading back to work, I hopped in the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and touch up on my makeup. Once I was done, I head back up to the makeup rooms and see that it's empty. Or what I thought was empty. As I walk inside towards my makeup station, I see 3RACHA snacking on chips and snacks as they joke around with each other. I bow to them as I clean up anything that needed to be cleaned.

"Becca-ssi." I turn around and see Han walking to me.

"Ne?"

"Hokshi noona namjachingu isseyeo?" (Do you have a girlfriend?)

I blink at him before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh," I say, chuckling.

He laughs. "Sorry, I didn't wanna ask but," he turns around and looks at at Changbin, who suddenly has an interest at imaginary dust on his clothes. "Someone dared me."

"It's okay. And no, I don't have a boyfriend," I say with a smile.

Then I see their leader walk up to Han and pat him on his back. "Han-ah, stop messing with the newbie."

"Sorry." Han apologizes but I wave him off.

"Sorry about him, he's usually not like that." Bang Chan says as Han goes back to Changbin.

"Ah, no. It's okay. I don't mind," I say smiling. He stares at me for a few seconds and I suddenly question my life choices. "Uhm."

"It's you!" He exclaims, pointing his finger at me.

"Sorry?" I blink at him.

"You're the girl from the other day," he says. Oh, he finally knows. "I knew I've seen you somewhere before."

"I'm sorry," I say as I bow.

"Are you kidding? If it wasn't for you returning my bag, I would've lost big chunk of our hardwork forever," he says smiling. "I should be thanking you."

I beam at him. "It's fine really. I'm just glad it didn't get into the wrong hands."

"Thank you, Becca-ssi."

"Ah, just Becca is fine."

He nods his head. "Becca." The way he said my name sounds so sweet like strawberry dipped in chocolate.

"Ne, Bang Chan-ssi."

"Just call me Chan." He smiles at me before going back to Han and Changbin.

"Chan," I whisper. I smile and go back to my previous task. I think I'm going to like working here.

A/N: the boys are finally here

[novelmonger]

Let's see... how about Jyn Erso and 2, 3, 6, 12, and 15??

-Rain

(Sorry it took me a while to respond to this. I took this as an excuse to watch Rogue One again before I replied, so it would be fresh in my mind ^^')

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I love that moment when they're in Jedha, and there's suddenly an attack by rebels that they get caught up in, and Jyn runs out of cover to save a little girl who's crying in the street. Up to that point, Jyn has mostly been presented as a hardened, cynical person who's just looking out for herself, but this is one of the first indications we get that she's more selfless than she tries to act.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

I don't know if this exactly counts, but while I like Jyn's character arc, I have to admit that it's a bit rushed. I get it, they've only got two hours to tell the story, and I do think it makes sense for her to change her tune about helping the Rebellion because of reuniting with her father. But the change is a bit abrupt for a medium where we don't get access to her personal thoughts and feelings.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We both have brown hair. Uh...wow, I don't think we have much in common at all. Well, I hate to admit it, but my natural inclination is a lot like Jyn at the beginning of the movie, when asked how she can stand to see the Imperial flag flying across the galaxy. "It's not a problem if you don't look up." I'm not proud of it, but I can absolutely relate to that perspective.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Ummmm...I don't know that I have any? So I'm just going to say something that I kept thinking about during the movie instead: If they ever get around to making a Mistborn movie, Felicity Jones would be way too old (she is somehow already 40 years old aldkfjs;dlkfjdslj what is life), but I think she would have made a great Vin. The look is right, and I think she'd do a great job at portraying the combination of hardened street urchin and vulnerable girl who just wants to belong and feel safe. Alas! I know it will never happen.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Uhhh...is there any ship that makes even the slightest amount of sense besides Jyn/Cassian? The only other possibilities that are coming to mind are total crack ones like...K2SO XD

Incidentally, while I like Jyn and Cassian as a couple well enough, one of the things I really appreciate about Rogue One is that it doesn't have them kiss or talk about the hinted romantic feelings at all. Unlike many action movies that move the romance way too fast - especially when the writers know all too well that these characters are going to die in the end and thus don't have much time - Rogue One treats these characters and their growing attraction realistically. These characters are way too busy saving the galaxy to waste time on pursuing each other romantically. Also, they seem like the kind of people who would take a long time before they really let their walls down enough for that anyway, even with someone they've clearly made a connection with and trust to watch each other's back.

Restraint in a movie is always something I will appreciate.

Character Ask Game

[eternitysoup]

As I write this, my stomach is killing me because I had to stay up late and drink a RedBull and eat some donuts. What was I thinking? Anyway, onto my thoughts this morning.

Frugality is a hard necessity to master. Or maybe I'm just stressing because it's the 1st of the month, and I'm paying off some debts while watching our paycheck shrink just hours after it hit the bank. The first thing we did was pay back my sister and our neighbor: $300 and $420, respectively. They are great lifelines for loans when we need them, and I don't want to jeopardize anything like that. Someone who will lend you a few hundred bucks until payday without interest is just indispensable in these times.

The second thing I did was pay off the phone bill entirely. I had been making half payments on it for a while, but it didn't stop them from cutting it off last week. So this paycheck, I doubled up and paid everything off, past due $108, and current due $118, so I don't owe anything more until May. Having a phone is very important, even if I never leave my house. Also saw a notice that they are raising their base prices on my bill. Fun.

The third bill to be taken care of this morning is the electric bill. I'm still so miffed that last month, TXU charged me $25 because they charged my empty debit card instead of using the checking account I know I had set up in their app. I blame them, but I probably missed a step or a button somewhere.

After paying the electric bill, I took care of the Xfinity bill for $144 since it was due on the 3rd anyway.

I sat down and started going over our monthly pet supply order from Chewy. The dog needs new supplements, and we have to buy different cat food this time since it seems like the little girl cat throws up with the current brand. We're switching from Iams to PurinaOne this month to see how it does, and it's also on sale for a good price.

Funny thing, while I was doing my Chewy order, it said, "Orders over $100 get a free $30 gift card," so I used the promo code, and it increased my total amount. They charged me more tax and also took away my other discounts for brand loyalty with our American Journey dog food. My order was $280 before the promo and $285 after it. I opted to keep the promo, though, because I'm still ahead $25 with how it all shakes out, and the gift card will definitely be used in May.

That just leaves rent for $897, four credit card payments of about $50 each, and various small subscriptions like Hulu ($9), PS Plus ($17), YouTube ($25), and my FFXIV subscription ($15). I'm also aiming to put $100 in savings. So that leaves about $557 for the month for food, household items, or anything else that may come up. I definitely don't want to spend that entire remainder if I don't have to.

Side note: Absolutely forgot we have to return the old comcast equipment, still. Some of that stuff has been in our closet a year.

[the-feral-gremlin]

15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 23, 24, 25 from the fixed ask game for john diggle (arrow)

i know its a lot im sorry T.T

Hii anon! Sorry it took so long for me to answer. And it’s totally okay I love answering asks!!

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Dyla (dig and Lyla.) they couldn’t love each other outside the battlefield so they separated, they

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

I don’t really have one?? I’m a multishipper so it’s kind of hard to choose which one is my least favorite. Though I think that they shouldn’t have rushed to get Diggle together with Lyla so soon. Not like “give Diggle more love interests/pairings” (though I wouldn’t have been mad if we got that) but just let him be single WITHOUT a crush or anything if that makes sense.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Read above ^^

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Oliver and Diggle. I could talk about their friendship and stuff for HOURS. How they really do make each other better. I think a lot of people see they’re friendship as “Diggle helped better Oliver and kickstarted him down the green arrow path” or like, Diggle as a stepping stone for Oliver when in actuality they were stepping stones for each other and so much more. Like, When John killed Andy and was about to let himself rot in prison: Oliver pulled him out and gave him somewhere to

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Ehh I don’t really have one??? BUT i don’t like how the writers made him brush off his grudge against floyd lawton after working with him and Amanda Waller for a day. He should’ve stayed at list a little mad.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This!!

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I don’t have one really. John is such a special character and I love him so much I guess my brain just doesn’t try to pick out similarities between him and other characters (if that makes sense.)

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Longsuffering accomplice to Oliver’s vigilantism. Now I think he’s someone with strict moral code and priorities who’s not afraid to bend (and sometimes break) for his family and friends. Also someone who’s been through so fucking much??? Like this guy has so much trauma that just goes untalked about?? His father died when he was young. His mom married the guy that was at fault for his father’s death. That guy (his stepdad) was a dick. He joined the army. His brother was presumed dead and he blamed himself for not being able to save him. Then he’s hired as a bodyguard for a guy who just got back from an island and is thrown into his crusade to save his city. This guys now his best friend and he has a wife and daughter, except NOW his best friend kidnapped his wife and left their infant daughter ALONE in an apartment. Then his best friends ran off together and left him to lead the team and protect the city. THEN they come back THEN he finds out that his brother is alive and that he’s been working for an evil organization that their villain of the week is partnered with/runs (can’t remember exactly HOW Damien Darhk was connected to hive) THEN his best friend (who he recently made up with) keeps pushing for him to help his brother but he obviously doesn’t trust either of them THEN he finally agrees to help his brother/try to save him and locks him in a cell/metal box in the bunker and goes to see him everyday THEN WHEN HE FINALLY THINKS THAT HIS BROTHER IS ON HIS SIDE AGAIN HE TURNS ON HIM AND HIS FRIEND DIES BECAUSE OF IT. THEN HE ACCIDENTALLY OFFS HIS BROTHER THEN HE LEAVES HIS TEAM AND FRIENDS BECAUSE HES SO GUILTY AND GOES BACK TO THE ARMY. THEN GETS IN TROUBLE AND ALMOST LETS HIMSELF ROT IN JAIL BECAUSE HES THINKS HE DESERVES IT FOR LAUREL DYING AND KILLING ANDY. I could go on and on about how much TRAUMA he has and then his green lantern arc was just SHOVED UNDER THE RUG??? Like, we could’ve gotten Diggle as a main MAIN character again but nooooo. He’s such a layered character and it was all thrown under the rug after arrow ended.

Sorry, I have a lot feelings about his character and some of them are intelligible. So uh yeah.

[From this ask game]

[otakween]

Digital Monster ver. S - Final Thoughts

Wow, another game that took me exactly a week to beat, how punctual of me! So that's another 10-15 hours in the bucket, not bad at all. This game is ~special~ because it's the first digimon game to ever be released (not including v-pets). It came out in 1998 for the Sega Saturn and was never translated. As such, it's really not that popular and I couldn't find a ton of guidance on how to beat it. To make matters worse, Sega Saturn games do not emulate well. If you look closely, you'll see that all of my screenshots have ugly lines on them. The sound was also hit-or-miss, sometimes cutting out or making terrible screechy noises. None of that was disruptive enough for me to give up though. I persevered and ended up having a lot of fun!

The best guide for this game (as far as I know) is in Japanese. Google translate + some Japanese knowledge are recommended to fully benefit from it.

Notes:

-This gave me some Digimon World 1 flashbacks. I ended up with Numemon as my first champion and for awhile there it felt like I would never get a good digimon. The way to the success in this game (just like in DW1) ended up being gym upgrades which made digimon rearing a LOT less painful. Unfortunately, I didn't really stick around to get the coolest digimon. My best efforts yielded me: Vademon, Birdramon, Leomon, and a Devimon at the end there.

-The main objective in this game, earning 5 medals from the different arenas, ended up being pretty easy. You can definitely get by with a champion level, which is what I did for 3 out of 5 medals. Of course I also did some save scumming, because this is another RNG-rather-than-skill based game. If you don't cheat a lil, you're just meaninglessly prolonging the game imo. Sometimes I ended up winning against big bosses without even needing save states, so yeah. Not super challenging.

-The "bonus" objective, I guess, would be to tame all possible digimon in the game (70 in total) which involves some jogress-ing too? I ain't doing that for multiple reasons. Number 1: I already did it in Digimon World and it took a million years WITH a guide. Number 2: I couldn't find a guide on how to trigger certain digivolutions for this one. I know it follows the v-pet logic, but I'm really not sure how the care mistakes/training rules work. Number 3: It doesn't seem like it would be very rewarding. There's really not much going on post-final boss in this one. Same as with Anode/Cathode, why should I care that I have these cool digimon if there's nothing I can do with them?

-The best part of this game was definitely the UI! So nostalgic, so 90s, so immersive! I especially loved the "Net" portion with email and the little Botamon mini-game. I love email replying mechanics. Very Dot Hack. Also, the Japanese was very easy to understand which is a plus.

-The digimon are so cute in this game. The little squeaky noise they make when they're happy, their different sleep animations (the plant digimon go underground or sleep in pots!), the joy when you give them their favorite food. So many great little touches. I guess the one thing that would be nice about taming them all would be seeing all the different animations. Maybe I'll just look those up lol.

-Definitely some frustration with digimon dying abruptly and digimon not digivolving as I expected. I worked hard getting my Leomon to 15 battles (the requirement for Ultimate level) and he still died! I honestly have no idea why and feel cheated out of a Megadramon.

-The final boss was legitimately a LadyDevimon named "Nice Body" and my reward for defeating her was a "sexy" wallpaper (displayed in one of the screenshots above). Lol

-The internet and shopping tracks were very nice. The internet one almost sounds like lofi

-I can see how this game would seem amazing if you're coming from the v-pet. You can raise 4 digimon at once, which feels super efficient, even compared to DW1. Between this and the Wonderswan ver. I'm feeling less motivated to buy a v-pet because it's basically the same thing but lower quality. (Although that might be kinda fun).

-I felt bad about abandoning my remaining digis (like my Neopets and my Nintendogs lol), but I left them with robots to take care of them, so at least there's that.

Honestly with the context of this game being so old and having the goal of being an enhanced v-pet, I think it achieved that mission very nicely. I'm wavering between a 6 and a 7, so I'll give this a 6.5 out of 10.