#this theorist should know who they are

[swluminekin]

To the one theorist who bounces theories with me:

Thank you.

Do you know that I haven’t theorized properly in at least years almost 4 at this point? We have a mutual friend - you know who I mean - and they can tell you that a lot of the time I’m still scared. They can tell you my story - I think they already have - but it would be better if it came from me.

There was a time a few years back - the “before times” if you will of the world as we know it now. The ego fires didn’t go out because we were always getting new information, new tastes, new hints. It was early days of the official community server, run by the gladiator himself. The theories channel was always busy but it got to a point where things died down a little. Basically people started pulling at straws to figure things out. I had seen one person mention something, and I tried to voice my own thoughts, agreeing with them. Immediately, I was shut down and told that I was wrong. Didn’t really give a good reason as to why, just shut me down completely.

Not too long after that, in a completely different community in a completely different place, I put out another theory. Once again, I was near immediately shut down, told I was wrong. They at least had some sort of explanation, but for the most part they just shut me down and told me I was wrong.

I was hurt, lost. I felt that if I theorized anything, thought anything, I would be hated, told I was wrong, be berated and yelled at. Just for thinking, for theorizing, for having fun. In my mind, if I couldn’t theorize, then I couldn’t create. If I couldn’t create, that meant I couldn’t do any form of art, which included stories and any sort of drawing.

For months I was hurting, the only person I could turn to being our friend. When I tried to do anything creative or theorist wise, I would always hesitate or stop entirely. It caused me physical pain to even try. There were even times when I would cry because I wanted to return to theorizing, to creating so bad, but I felt that I couldn’t. They listened to me cry and comforted me because I wanted to return to that but was afraid to.

Eventually I found I could draw again. But when I drew, the art felt hollow - at least it did to me. I was excited that I could do art again but it just... never felt right. Even when did “draw this in your own style” stuff, it didn’t feel right.

I don’t even remember what happened, what video caused it, but one day I finally wrote a theory. Specifically, it was the Convergence theory. But I was so scared about what I was talking about and that I would be shut down again that I felt like I had to show my proof, show that I knew what I was talking about. I pointed out specific videos and discussions and Instagram posts. Heck, I even put up the pictures of the discord channel as well as my proof as to the channel’s naming.

Because I was scared.

After I wrote that theory, I was tired. I was so worn down. It was all because I felt like I had to prove myself. Like I had to show the world that I had something solid to back me up. Our friend could tell you that while I was proud of myself, I was exhausted and had one hell of a headache. (To be completely honest, I’m surprised at how well the Convergence theory is still holding up three years later with the I.R.I.S. lore? Like what?)

Ever since, I’ve rarely done theories - maybe having done a couple here and there, but not many. If I theorize, I’ve almost never written them down, I’ve just said them out loud. But I’m able to draw again, and I can write stories again. But I’ve never been able to really feel proud of myself, feel completely happy with anything I’ve done. All because of that fear of failure as an artist, creator, and theorist.

Then you came around. You looked at my theories. You were willing to bounce off of me. Counter me with “... but this... and because of...” rather than just “No and I won’t say why.” You’ve helped me with relearning and accepting my theorist side. The fact that we can bounce theories off of each other has helped me to think about things again. Our friend can tell you this. I still don’t theorize like I used to, but to know that I’ve actually somewhat met people who understand what I’m talking about, who accept me and my theories and thoughts? It helps to ease the process and the want to write them down again.

So I say to you again, thank you.

Your mutual theorist,

“Scarlet”

[random2908]

Frustrating when a VC-funded company gets credit for being the "first" and the "leader," when they had a sub-component demo the same week we had a full-system demo. Like, we are easily 5-10 years ahead of them, it's ridiculous; their approach isn't even yet proven to work. But they get science youtubers talking about them.

Because they're VC-funded, they have a marketing/press department.

And because we're an employee-owned company working off of government contracts, well, most government contracts get slapped with an ITAR label (an old Cold-War-era law saying basically sharing scientific information counts as illegally selling arms/munitions). So if you want to publicize your work, including your company's products, you have to appeal that label. (Universities have specifically negotiated a blanket exemption, so if you spend your whole life in academic science you might never even know about this.)

(My previous employer filed those appeals several times a year in order to do press releases and publish journal articles and apply for patents. I think every single information-release appeal they filed went through, because there's no reason any of this stuff should be labeled as arms--it's literally the same stuff universities are doing. My current employer is afraid to, which I think is wrong-headed; at worst they'll just say no, and anyway, our non-restricted competitors are giving fucking lab tours to youtubers.)

[jonathanssweatercollection]

you still resent nancy and jonathan for getting together???? for “hurting steve’s feelings”??? despite the fact that he verbally supported their relationship like 2 hours after seeing them together. this from a season that released 6 fucking years ago. a season prior to him saying that he was NOT in love with nancy anymore. do you want me to call shawn levy and tell him of your dilemma. bestie do you need to rewatch the source material

[discocandles]

Jason Todd, but he's not around the batfamily very often, bc i can.

It's not unusual for Jason to just kind of be gone for anything bat-esque for a while. Sure he'll still be in Gotham doing some crime fighting, but just not make many appearances in Wayne Manor/the Batcave.

And it's not out of sheer spite, surprisingly enough. its bc after being a crime lord then quitting to be an anti-hero, he came to the realization that being Red Hood couldn't be the only thing he was using his life for. he would end up like Bruce, only using a civilian identity when he absolutely had to. But Jason Todd was legally dead, so he wouldn't ever have to be a civilian, but at the cost of losing himself to a vigilante identity. I don't believe Jason would want to take that risk.

So he makes a fake identity so he can live in a (shaky) routine as a civilian. He still goes by Jason, given its a common enough name. but he changes his last name to Devoss, as it has the same meaning as todd but is of Dutch decent rather than english, bc I'm the kind of nerd that still wants names to mean the same thing even it's not the point whatsoever, so Jason is too. Plus its better than most of the name changes DC has done.

Anyway. Jason's "routine". The only reason it could be considered a routine is bc he typically goes to the same places. he drops by the same coffee shop at least three times a week, frequents the same gym, and visits the library about once a week. he's in the bare minnimum of consistency & sticks to it.

Despite being given enough money from Bruce to count as a solid income, Jason still lives in walking distance of Crime Alley. the landlords there don't care who you are so long as you pay rent, bc who wants to live near Crime Alley? barely anyone. Later he gets a job, which actually cements his routine. he works as a chef in a chain restaurant, and he's so good at it, it's like hes being petty about it.

Actually, being petty is the most common thread most of the people who know Jason Devoss as an aquaintance have. He's petty about entitled customers who start screaming in at his regular coffee stop, if someone he tends to work out with has a cheating partner and the assholeperson has a hole in thier can of mace and their knife is suddenly dull(neccessities in Gotham), Jason has no clue how someone could manage that. Absolutely none.

Ok, back to Jason getting a job. So like I said earlier, Jason gets a job as a line cook, bc they really dont keep people from the job unless you're actively supposed to be in Arkham(exemptions can be made for blackgate). Which is why having a civilian identity is helpful, bc being both legally dead and spending some time as a mob boss probably wouldn't jive with any hiring manager ever. But he's able to make himself a normal part of the scenery, and makes the most effective closing shift, totally not be he has patrol that he's already late for. He begins to have to switch between taking orders and making food.

And this is how he ends up meeting Bernard, bc they have to work together to figure out what Tim would want. Jason realizes that this isn't some other kid named Tim he thinks "oh this is going to be rich." bc no one in the family has been to his work so far since he started working in the front of house, and he hasn't mentioned it to them.

So Tim walks in, and sees his bf, then he sees Jason, who just says "Oh, you must be Bernard's boyfriend. Nice to meet you." Smiling like he's never done anything remotely wrong in his whole life. Now Tim is questioning everything and can only repond with something akin to "Mhmm yup. Nice to meet you too." & is on edge for the rest of the date, bc his brother is being paid to watch his date, and will interrupt them for refills or other nonsense when he was beginning to forget Jason was there.

Bonus points if it's before Tim introduces Bernard to the family.

The batfamily knows where he is, and he knows they know. No one who has met Batman once can have him be unaware of their whole family tree, of course he knows where his son is. Jason will sometimes get visits, most often from Duke, be despite the fact that Crime Alley is mostly terrible, the sunset view is pretty dang good.

Duke will just be sitting on his couch when he gets home, like "you wanted to talk?" to which he and Jason will simply chat. and jason will often give critiques to Duke's technique.

The other common visitor is steph, but that's most ofting in the form of her ding dong ditching him,

-

[louderfade]

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.

[infizero]

i dont think i made this clear in the prev post but WHAT I WAS GETTING AT WAS i think toby specifically wants players to get attached to ralsei and make choices playing into that so that the inevitable reveal of our distinction from kris and their own opinions and feelings and everything hits even harder by sort of slapping you in the face and being like HEY BUDDY. THEY DONT WANT THIS. and also a slap in the face to ralsei too who i again would like to say is parasocial asf with us and needs to go to video game therapy :heart:

[my-balls79]

my mother was ranting at me again, the following is paraphrased: “the fact that you never do anything, can’t manage to do your school work and you can hardly take care of yourself tells me that you are a LAZY person” yes, mother, i am lazy, how could you tell? you do not even know the full extent of it, would you believe that i’m also too lazy to derive pleasure out of anything? would you believe the amount of times i’ve nearly killed myself because i am too damn lazy to be alive? i’m well aware of my laziness. fucking cunt.

[vampireobsessor]

My grandmother believes every single thing she reads on the internet especially if it's about someone who's famous and my dad doesn't like to argue with her about it because of her age so I for real just heard this man tell her that if she is the faith that she claims to be and she understands what the Anticrist is supposed to actually be according to that faith then she has to accept that Taylor Swift exists

[menlove]

honestly i think a HUGE part of the issue is that most of the left doesn't really understand antisemitism

after wwii it became wildly Unpopular to be blatantly antisemitic. obviously, it still happened. but the result of this is that instead of antisemitism being studied as a historical and pervasive form of oppression that has been around for thousands of years & has many many precedents BEFORE the holocaust.... it became:

something just simply Rude to say or do. if you're a polite liberal/conservative or a leftist, it's just something that is socially unacceptable. there is no real weight to this.

something when FIRMLY believed is ONLY held by people like nazis and white supremacists. who, as we know, are The Enemy and none of us can ever be like them at all ever by the virtue of... not being them. no need to watch your own behaviors, bc you are not a nazi! only nazis could ever be Actually antisemitic

something that erupted out of the ground in germany in the early 20th century, culminated with the holocaust, and ended after. antisemitism did not exist before that and it was solved after when the saving grace of the united states and england liberated the jews from the nazis out of the goodness of their hearts

however absolutely none of this is true. antisemitism stretches back thousands of years and it has not, for the most part, been only "fringe" conspiracy theorists and white supremacists who perpetuate it

antisemitism has been, by and large, presented as very logical. throughout, again, the thousands of years of history of antisemitism, very regular people have been antisemites. and most of them had reasons they felt were perfectly logical and understandable and most of all just. jews were trying to kill their children, of course they hated them! jews were purposefully trying to keep them poor, of course they hated them! jews believed Wrong Things and were morally and spiritually corrupt, of course there was something wrong with them. jews betrayed their country, lost them a war that ended with their husbands and brothers and sons dead, and now were living among them and taking advantage of social benefits out of the goodness of the hearts of the german people, of COURSE they hated them! and the nazis themselves were backed up by science at the time. scientific racism was THE science at the time. charles darwin was a scientific racist. it was all very logical.

and did jews actually do these things? no. but these people saw enough proof that aligned well enough with their morals and their beliefs and their fears & so to them it was completely logical and justified. it wasn't a fringe theory that only an insane person would believe in, or something impolite. it was true to them. to their morals, to their fears, to their core beliefs. it was true.

and so now we see a LOT. a lot of leftists being dragged ass first into antisemitism. because they don't even think they CAN be antisemitic. THEY aren't nazis and THEY aren't white supremacists, of COURSE they aren't antisemitic. but... well. the jews are doing things that go against their morals. they're doing things that validate their fears. the jews are violating things that go against their core beliefs! so of COURSE it is LOGICAL that they should hate them. of course, it is still rude to say "the jews are evil" so it gets replaced with "zionist". (and before you ask yes i am anti-zionism and do deeply believe what israel is doing is unjust and cruel) but even that is slipping.

it is getting all the more popular to go that one step further and instead of just making posts like "spam the hanukkah tag because the Zionists need to learn what their religion stands for" that are blatantly just replacing "jews" with "zionists", they are logically moving to being mask off. if zionism is wrong and half the world's remaining jewish population lives in israel, what about the rest? aren't they suspect? would they not ALL commit atrocities if given the chance? aren't they all racist for believing they're an ethnicity? aren't they all complicit? aren't they all threatening our deeply held leftist beliefs? it's a little weird and everyone has been too quiet for too long bc it's been rude to say but now you can get 300k notes for posting blood libel so why would you keep quiet anymore?

why WOULDN'T you just say "thank god someone finally said it i was worried about stepping on toes" when someone makes a post full of antisemitic conspiracy theory. why WOULDN'T you say "i don't care if all of israel gets bombed and every single person dies after this lmfao they deserve it"? (which would wipe out, again, half the world's population of jews- many of whom living there are anti-zionist and actively protesting their government. or. you know. children.) why WOULDN'T you make posts about how jewish identity is just nazi aryanism? why wouldn't you make posts about how the jews are privileged in america bc they run hollywood and the economy? why WOULDN'T you say the star of david is a hate symbol to you now and that you mistrust anyone using it? or that you find anyone speaking hebrew suspect?

these are all perfectly logical. to you. and YOU are not a nazi or a white supremacist. so it can't be antisemitic.

[legandairy-horror]

Does anyone else feel a strange sort of dread waiting for new deltarune chapters?

It sounds crazy right? I admit it's a weird feeling for sure, and I'm not even 100% sure if dread is the right way to describe it. But as more info is revealed and the next chapter inevitably gets closer and closer to releasing I can't help but feel a strange sort of, melancholy? Longing? The only way I can describe it is "when you know the goodbye is coming". The strange somber feeling when you know you’re going to have to leave stuff behind, but aren't quite ready for it yet.

warning: words. Homestuck

In 3 months Chapter 1 will be 6 years old, and in 2 months Chapter 2 will be 3 years old. Deltarune is ostensibly in Early Access but this release schedule puts new chapters closer in time scale to whole sequals if anything, which they most assuredly are not trying to be. This has created a strange situation in the fanbase that I don't think I've ever truly seen anywhere else. One where, In the time between chapters It feels like everyone has had their own chance to decide what Deltarune is to them. To create their own version of this story, to write their own themes that they want to see explored, to imagine their own events and plot twists they want to see play out.

@lynxgriffin Paper Trail Comic Being an Alternate Story following off of chapter 1

@lilybug-02 The Chara Timeline Being one of many interpretations on the popular Asriel & Chara roommates headcannon.

@huecycles Andromeda Chapters being their interpretation on the full game

The innumerable Deltarune Theorists and analysts like HalfBreadChaos, Andrew Cunningham, Stuffed Alpaca, etc. etc.

@vyletbunni Deltatraveler being a whole ass fangame based around a chapter 2 meme that it has long since outlived

And that's kinda the thing isn't it? Once more deltarune comes out, a ton of these projects will just become outdated, it's an inevitability. So what will happen to them? will they become forgotten? maybe, maybe not, it's impossible to tell. but either way it feels kinda sad to think about yknow? that one day all the time and effort spent and all the memories made might one day just cease to exist.

There's a lot more I could say on this topic if given the chance but to keep this tumblr post from morphing into a 2 hour long video essay in text form let me leave off with this.

In the age of the internet and social media there will always be a fan of something. Nothing truly dies quite like it used to anymore, regardless of whatever influencers want you to believe. But that doesn't mean things stop changing, that there wasn't a past that has since been left behind. I'm a Homestuck fan. more specifically I'm a Late Homestuck fan, one who came in after the comic had already ended and it's peak in popularity was long behind it. The fandom's still around all these years later. But it'd be foolish to admit that, 8 years after the comics controversial end, the inescapable trend of new fans replacing old fans has left the fandom wholly disconnected from the monolith that it once was. the only remnants of which lie in decades old discourse and fanfiction. Like old relics of a long forgotten city, waiting to be excavated under a fine layer of dirt.

Before I close out here I just want to make it clear: I'm not saying that we should be trying to return to some nebulous "glorious past" that never really existed. I'm not trying to deride Toby Fox for not working in the sweatshop hard enough to produce more content™, or whatever you wanna try and spin-doctor this post into. It's just a thought that creeps into my head every now that I wanted to share, see if anyone feels the same, yknow?

Besides it's not all doom and gloom. For those of you OG Homestucks who read till the end. You remember Heinoustuck? Guidestuck? Nightfall? Fucking Ke$haStuck? yeah those are still going by the way! after years of inactivity they've now started back up again. some under new authors and some by the same author but still!

You could say a lot about that but to me at least, it makes me feels hopeful in a way. That, even if not everything will survive. we'll at least have some mementos to remember what came before.

[sapphlopods]

This will be one of the hardest things I ever have to do, but I need help even though I hate asking for it.

Please help me escape my homophobic and financially abusive parents. More under "Keep Reading"

I'm Chaim, and ever since I graduated high school, I’ve lived with my parents. Australia has an incredibly bad housing crisis, and it’s nearly impossible for me to move out without friends or roommates who have a pre-established house, which I have none. 

Over the course of the past 4 years, I have watched my father devolve into this angry right-wing conspiracy theorist who thinks all “Wokes” should d1e. He has no idea I’m a lesbian as I fear for what he will do if he ever finds out. 

My mother has a range of health issues, in 2022 she had a heart attack, and this year, she was diagnosed with brain and kidney cancer, which she is in and out of hospital for. Her financial assistance has been delayed over and over, we still need to wait 2 months to get help. 

So, my household's only income is from my father and me. My father has an incredibly bad gambling, drinking and tobacco addiction, he goes through a pack of 30 cans and a pack of 30 cigarettes in 2 days. Tobacco and alcohol are heavily taxed here and are upwards of $60+ each; that’s $120 every 2 days, he earns $1600 fortnightly and spends roughly $840 of it on just his addictions; that’s more than half his pay, and that isn’t including the horse races he bets on. 

That leaves me to pick up the slack on groceries, rent, my mother's medicine and lend them money when Dad “overspends” at the pub. My father would rather starve than lessen his addictions a bit so we can afford to stay in our house and have food to eat. 

This has been happening for years even before my mother fell so ill she couldn’t work but it's gotten worse. I do not want to leave my mother, but she will not leave my father no matter what since she sees nothing wrong with what he does. I’m tired of being nothing more than a piggybank and a maid to my parents since I will never be able to move out when all my money goes towards keeping a roof over our heads. Even while I was on vacation, they still called me up and asked for money. 

I’ve wanted to move out for a long time, but my situation is getting direr by the day, and I can’t save a single cent to leave like this. I know many problems are going on in the world right now that deserve people’s time more than this so thank you for reading this far. 

If you can spare anything, please send it to my ko-fi. It'll be going towards getting stuff sorted so I can move to my partner Cinna, who lives far away in Chile, but I have no other option now. 11/12

I also have a few items listed on my eBay that people might like, a lot of it is fandom stuff and collector things I have accumulated, I'll be putting more stuff up slowly as I sort through my things preparing to move. https://www.ebay.com.au/usr/sapphlopods

[arminsumi]

Satoru simping for you and Suguru telling him to give up (lol)

Note : this is just crack i found in the drafts lol enjoy??

Warnings : 🔞 mdni / suggestive

Satoru grits his teeth and makes a frustrated growl. "Fuck. She's hot." he mutters under his breath.

He looks away from you, like it was just too much to handle.

Satoru turns to Suguru, "Suguru."

"Yeah?"

"Should I ask her for her number?"

"Who — her? Nahhh, she's out of your league." Suguru says.

"What the hell! you're supposed to be my supportive best friend."

"No — I'm a cunt first and foremost before anything." he jokes.

"Can't your cunty mouth manage a little pep-talk?"

"It would be disingenuous. Satoru, I don't think you should be messing around with the principle's daughter."

Satoru makes another frustrated growl.

"Fuckin' bullshit..." he grumbles under his breath. He looks away and sinks his hands into his pockets.

"Besides," suguru adds, "she's got a boyfriend."

"—and you only tell me this now?! After I've been pining after her ass for how long!!" Satoru seethes.

Satoru looks at you annoyedly, but still admiringly. Like a doting puppy.

"Fuck it! Boyfriends are temporary!"

"Calm down, Satoru. No need to let your morals degrade over some girl."

"She's not just some girl, Suguru! Fuck, just look at her."

"Give it up, man."

"Maybe you're deterring me so you can take her all for yourself."

"Oh my god, Satoru. you sound as insane as a conspiracy theorist."

"Maybe she's into conspiracy theorists! Hey, I'll go up to her and whisper all sexy into her ear; "ooh, baby you know the moon landing didn't happen~"

Satoru looks around searching for a way to make his joke funny.

"—but I'll be landing on your craters tonight for sure."

"OH MY GOD. Satoru. stop."

Satoru continues his bullshit.

""Can I rocket into your pussy, babygirl?""

"Stop."

Satoru's laughing like a seal and going red in the face. He keeps annoying his best friend with examples of his wacky pickup lines.

"Wanna know why they call me Neil Armstrong, baby?"

"Satoru, I don't know why we're friends."

"Bitch you love me!"

"This is why she's out of your league. Because you're a nutter and she's a normal person."

"How do you know! She might be a nutter too. Shit, or at least I'll make her into one... yeah... I'll make her crazyyyy for me."

"... Satoru, don't drive her nuts."

"Okay, I won't drive her nuts. I'll just let her suck on my nuts."

"What the hell (lol)?"

"Yo, listennnnn, one look from her makes my balls feel tight and full." Satoru admits unashamedly.

"Ough! Too much information!" Suguru grimaces.

"SHE MAKES MY DICK HARD SUGURU!"

"LALALA NOT LISTENING!" Suguru plugs his ears and gets up and leaves the cafeteria.

[creature-wizard]

Scams, Hoaxes, Conspiracy Theories, & Cults Everyone Should Know About

Jilly Juice: Jillian Mai Thi Epperly claimed drinking sixteen cups of her super salty cabbage concoction each day could regrow missing limbs and cure everything from cancer to homosexuality. In reality, overdosing on so much salt caused followers a host of health issues that Epperley dismissed as "healing symptoms."

Nonhuman Body Hoax: Jaime Maussan attempted to pass off mummified human remains as nonhuman beings to the Mexican government. (This isn't even Maussan's first hoax, by the way. He has a history.)

Love Has Won: Amy Carlson, a woman who'd walked out on her own children, started a New Age cult in which she presented herself as "Mother God," the creator of the universe. She claimed to be in contact with dead celebrities and alien beings, and taught a conspiratorial worldview. As her health declined, she attempted to treat herself with colloidal silver and alcohol, and her behavior became increasingly abusive. When she finally died, her followers sincerely believed she would return to life and kept her body in a sleeping bag. (She did not return to life.)

Seed Faith Offerings: Reverend Gene Ewing came up with the perfect get-rich-quick scheme to prey on desperate Christian believers: tell believers that if they "sowed seed" by giving money to him, God would bless them with even more money in the future. He made millions of dollars from these donations, while most of his followers never saw the miraculous returns they were promised.

William Walker Atkinson: In the early 20th century, William Walker Atkinson wrote around one hundred books, many of which he wrote under various pseudonyms. Some of these pseudonyms included alleged Hindu mystics. That's right - this guy was practicing literary brownface to sell his mystical ideas.

The LDS Church: In the 19th century, a man named Joseph Smith claimed that an angel had told him where to dig up a set of golden plates that were supposedly written by ancient Hebrews who'd come to North America. Smith even had eleven close associates who vouched for the plates' existence. Yet the script they were allegedly written in bore no relation to actual ancient scripts of the Near East, and the the names the locations in the books he "translated" were very obviously derived from placenames he would have been familiar with. (For example, Oneida/Onidah.) Oh, and actual archaeology and DNA studies have discredited pretty much everything from this guy's weird racist narrative.

Fake Cancer, Fake Cure: Wellness entrepreneur Belle Gibson claimed that she'd cured her brain cancer with natural remedies. Gibson never actually had cancer in the first place.

Medbeds: Back in 2020, QAnons and QAnon-adjacent people started circulating claims that a new form of healing technology was about to become available to the public within the next several months or so. Depending on who you asked, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and even the Galactic Federation of Light were involved. The time of their supposed unveiling came and went, and what do you know, there are still no functioning medbeds used in actual medicine.

COVID Vaccine Zombies: Conspiracy theorists have been claiming the government practices high-tech mind control for ages now. One recent iteration of this is a conspiracy theory claiming that people who'd received COVID vaccinations would have malicious DNA code activated by 5G on October 4, 2023, turn into zombies, and riot. The time came and went, and no zombie outbreak happened.

Ms.Scribe: In the early 2000s, a Harry Potter fan known as "msscribe" or "Ms.Scribe" faked her own harassment through a number of sockpuppets, with the apparent goal of becoming friends with some Harry Potter fandom bigwigs. She manipulated the fandom for a few years until the deception was finally uncovered.

[zinnie-zoloft]

Monty immediately 100% believing in astrology (even though it’s apparently still fake in the dbda universe and he’s literally a witch’s familiar and should know that) makes me wonder what other stuff he’d believe in if he got to be human longer

Basically I need magical conspiracy theorist Monty who is very occasionally actually onto something that helps solve a case

[lunamugetsu]

Bring your sidekick to work day!

Inspired by the "What if Question was the one who saves Danny from GIW?" post that I made awhile ago.

Bring your sidekick to work day!

It was a tradition that started around the time multiple superheroes were taken on sidekicks. Everyone in the league knew why they'd bring their sidekicks to work. Their sidekicks get to socialize with peers their own age and they could properly introduce themselves to other heroes.

So it was a surprise when The Question, the league's faceless conspiracy theorist, offhandedly mentioned that he'll be bringing his sidekick to work while telling them about what new information he's found about Cadmus and another new government agency he thought they should start looking into.

The heroes found it hard to believe.

Question has a sidekick.

Surely they must have misheard.

No way that guy would want a sidekick, let alone get a sidekick.

When "Bring your sidekick to work day" arrived everybody was prepared to see the heroes and sidekicks.

Superman with Superboy

Batman and his 10+ kids

Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl

Flash and Kid Flash

The list went on

The heroes all mingle before realizing that they haven't seen Question. Maybe they did mishear the man? Or Question got his words mixed up?

That was until the computer announced the arrival of Question and a guest that was unidentified.

They all turn around to see the faceless trench coat wearing investigator followed by a tinier faceless trench coat wearing kid. The kid was practically a clone of Question, except...tinier.

"This is my sidekick. Who." Question points to the faceless kid

Flash: Who?

"That's me!" the kid says pointing to himself.

"Why don't you acquaint yourself with the others." Question tells his sidekick who just nods and goes off to introduce himself with the others kids.

Batman: I didn't take you one for having a sidekick.

Question: I could say the same for you. And the sidekick thing just kind of happened. The kid wouldn't leave me alone and I couldn't let the kid get himself into any trouble.

Batman: Understandable

Meanwhile with the sidekicks.

Everybody's asking Who various questions about Question and how he met the man. They barely know anything about the guy.

Question 1: What's the deal with your name?

Who: It's a work in progress. Since my mentor's name is Question. I figured my name should be like a question.

Question 2: How do you eat?

Who: I shove food into my face

Question 3: Where's your face?

Who: Wouldn't you like to know

Question 4: Do you know about his conspiracies?

Who: Of course I know about his conspiracies! I'm one of them

Other sidekicks: What?

After some talking, the sidekicks get along with each other very well. When they reunite with their mentors the computer rings stating that John Constantine was coming along with a guest.

The heroes then all watched as a girl with white hair and green eyes wearing a trench coat and was dragging John Constantine by his sleeve. She grins and introduces herself as Dani with an "i" and that she's John's apprentice.

Dani then spots Who and they immediately do the Spider-man point at the other meme

Who (Danny): you got a trench coat mentor too?!

Dani: Where's your face?!

[snippychicke]

Poppy Seeds -- Part One

As you may have guessed, I fell into a new hyper fixation. Poppy's Playtime of all things. >.<

Inspired by TooManyPsuedonyms work, which in turn was inspired by @semisolidmind fanart/cabin!Au for Playtime Poppy.

I know right now we have no idea who or what Ollie is, but I decided to go with the assumption he is just a kid and not the Prototype as some theorists are assuming. This will likely be debunked in chapter four, but I'm running with it until then.

Dogday/Player!reader (attempting keeping it gender neutral)

Warnings: will touch on the after effects of trauma, but nothing is super explicit. Maybe some unhealthy coping skills (Dogday holding Reader on a pedestal) But otherwise we're giving everyone a happy ending. (Everything is wonderful and nothing hurts)

One: Home

Your hands gripped the steering wheel tight as your old truck climbed up the steep incline. It hadn't liked the rough road on a good day, let alone with Kissy and Dogday in the back trying to drag it down. Now it whined and complained, the wheels occasionally skidding on the gravel. Ollie clutched to Poppy tightly next to you, his sunken eyes wide with fear. Poppy, to her credit, looked confident that everything would be okay.

By the time you reached the cabin nestled high above the valley, it was close to midnight. It was a sizable two story home, complete with a barn, garage, and even a chicken coop. Thick forest surrounded the homestead, assuring complete privacy. A year ago your grandparents had moved into an assisted living community in town, leaving the whole place to you. The rest of the family had not been happy but in your defense you would come out every school break growing up to help them out.

And then, after you left Playtime Co, you had moved in under the guise of getting your life sorted out. Your grandparents never asked why it was taking you a decade to figure it out. Which you were glad, because you didn't know how you would have answered them.

Ollie’s fear eased into wonder as he looked at the flock of sheep you had in the pens up front. You were just thankful they were still there, looking rather healthy despite the fact you had been unexpectedly gone for a week or so.

When you had received the letter and VHS about the old Playtime Co you had interned 10 years ago while in college, you thought you would be gone for a few days at most considering it was a few hours away. You prepped your home as best as you could for being gone that long-- giving extra water and feed to the animals, setting the sprinklers for your garden on a timer-- but had little hopes of your own survival let alone that of your animals after being dragged deep into hell.

You didn’t bother with the detached garage, but pulled up right next to the porch. You were exhausted, and you could only imagine everyone else was as well. The truck seemed all too happy to shut off with a rough sound. You looked over at Ollie, who was still looking at everything in wonder, though Poppy was carefully extracting herself from his grip. “You okay there kiddo?”

He looked back at you, “This is where you live?” he asked instead, voice full of awe. “It looks like it's from a fairytale book!”

It really wasn't, it's a typical farm for this part of the country. Hardly one of the fanciest or beautiful, just simple and sturdy.

“Let's get inside and get settled for the night,” you offer instead of remarking. “I should have the stuff for some sandwiches at least.”

“Sand…witches?” Ollie repeated, sounding confused.

“Meat and bread,” Poppy answered, unbuckling the boy. “Sometimes with ketchup, mustard, mayo, cheese.”

“So, food? I like food!”

Your heart ached. You knew the boy had been raised in the factory, hidden away and protected from the Prototype or hungry ‘toys’. The fact he had was a miracle enough--especially considering how small and thin he was. He had to be ten at the youngest, but barely looked as if he was half that age.

The passenger door opened, which considering how much trouble Kissy had with her hands, was surprising. Yet the pink creature reached in and pulled both Ollie and Poppy out of the truck.

Dogday waited for you as you exited the truck, your legs shaky from the long ride. However, his attention wasn't on you but the dark sky above. It was a new moon, meaning the Milky Way arched overhead with dozens of stars. A glance over to Kissy and the others showed they too were amazed by the stars--you could hear Poppy trying to explain all of it to Ollie quietly.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” You said as you stepped closer to Dogday.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I-I’ve never seen the night sky like this.”

“Well, now you can see it every night,” you said, shouldering his arm lightly. “Best place for meteor showers too.”

Dogday tore his gaze away and looked down at you. “Are you sure we can stay here, angel?”

“Of course. As long as you want, even if it's forever.” Granted, you didn't know where else they would go, especially Dogday and Kissy. But you didn't want to assume anything either, or make them feel trapped.

His hand found yours, so giant compared to yours but soft and warm. “Forever it is then.”

You felt your cheeks warm against the chilly night air as you laughed self-consciously. “Right, you might wanna sleep on that kind of decision, ‘Day.”

Two: Sleep

You woke slowly, feeling warm and cozy. Something soft was surrounding you, with the faintest hint of vanilla. At first you thought maybe you were wrapped up in a thick blanket, but when you opened your eyes to matted brown fur you realized it was Dogday instead, his arms wrapped around you and holding you close as if you were the toy. You could feel him breathe softly, each inhale and exhale caressing your skin softly.

(You didn't want to think about the amalgamation of organic and inorganic parts inside of him. You saw enough when you helped attach his legs to leave you with nightmares.)

For once, Dogday looked relaxed. Dark eyes closed and his smile softened. You couldn’t resist running your fingers along his face. He had been one of the few you had instantly trusted in that hell. One of the few that never even seemed to think about harming you.

Poppy had used you for her own means, not giving you a real choice ever since you released her. Kissy Missy had always been kind but you had soon realized that her partnership with Poppy may have played a part in it. And of course there was Ollie, though it took a while for you to trust the faceless voice on the phone, especially after you learned that the Prototype could mimic voices and Ollie had a very… peculiar way of phrasing things.

Yet Dogday… he had raised his head, and saw you as someone special as soon as his gaze met yours. Begged you to leave him behind and to run when the miniature Critters started to swarm. Actively fought to defend and protect you despite missing the lower half of his body at first.

And ever since, had refused to leave your side. While everyone else did their part, he determinedly stuck with you. Even last night after everyone finished eating and all anyone could think about was sleep. Kissy happily cuddled Poppy and Ollie in her arms as she climbed up the stairs to claim a bedroom. You expected Dogday to follow suit…

“Hey, uh, angel?” Dogday said softly, sounding rather shy. He had stuck around to help you clean up, though all that consisted of was a few plates, cups, and butter knives. Though the number of sandwiches consumed had emptied out all the bread, lunchmeat, cheese, as well as peanut butter and jelly in your pantry.

“Yeah?” You were getting used to the nickname, though you still felt as if it was undeserved the way he said it. As if you truly were an angel from heaven, sent to save.

“... Could I sleep with you?”

His question surprised you, and you almost dropped the cup you had been washing. Thankfully he quickly grabbed it before it could fall very far. “Sleep…with me?”

Granted those last two… days? You weren't sure, but you and him had found safe spots to watch out for each other while the other slept. It was the only time during the whole ‘adventure’ you managed to sleep. Wrapped up in his arms, feeling him breathe, listening to his heartbeat. It reminded you weren't alone anymore.

“I… don't want to be alone,” he continued, drying off the cup and placing it on the shelf. “Even if I know you and the others are nearby, I…”

Your surprise shifted into sympathy and understanding. Kissy, Poppy, and Ollie were together… and now that you thought about it, being alone right now did not fill you with any sort of ease.

“Yeah. I mean, if you don't mind cuddling close. My bed is barely big enough for two normal-sized people, let alone one me and one… well, Dogday.”

His smile widened. “With you? Never.”

Dogday shifted in his sleep, turning his head to nuzzle into your hand before his eyes slowly opened. His smile widened slightly, and you heard more than saw his tail thump against the bed which in turn made you smile wider as well. “Morning,” you greeted softly.

“Good morning, angel,” he said just as softly. “Did you sleep well?”

“Best sleep in a long time,” you admitted with a slight laugh. Trying to sleep in the factory had been a scary experience. Finding small places to hide long enough to close your eyes. Waking and jumping at every little sound. Plagued by endless nightmares.

And you had been there for just a few days, a week at most.

“What about you?” you asked. Him and the others had lived in that hell for a decade. You didn't startle awake from him lashing out at nightmares. Which you had seen him do a few times before at the factory. You had held him in your laps as best you could, reassuring him he was okay as he broke down.

He leaned closer, nuzzling your cheek slightly. “Next to you, how could I not?”

You laughed between his flirty words and his fur tickling your skin. “You're such a flirt!”

Three: Morning After

“It's so bright outside!” Ollie gasped as he looked out the window while you worked on breakfast. Thankfully none of the eggs had spoiled, nor had any milk, meaning you were whipping up a full course of scrambled eggs and pancakes-- as well as cooking the few boxes of frozen sausages you had found in the freezer.

Dogday was currently watching them like a hawk, occasionally licking his lips as he moved them around in the skillet.

“Actually. That's cloudy. See how the sky is gray. Not blue?” Poppy pointed out, also gazing out the window. “On sunny days, it's a bright vibrant blue, and even brighter.”

“Really?” The boy looked up to you to confirm the doll's words, and you nodded your head. To think he had never seen the sky before. To be unable to tell a sunny day from a cloudy one.

“It actually looks like it could rain,” you pointed out. “Maybe we should hold off on a bath until after you have fun in the mud.”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought if you get caught in the rain, you'll get sick?”

“Psh, no. At least, not as long as you can dry off and warm up afterwards. It'll also give me time to look through stuff down in the basement. I think there should be some old hand me downs that should fit you.”

“A good bath can do wonders.” Poppy hopped down from the windowsill and into Kissy's hand before the giant monster also gently corralled Ollie to the table where the food was waiting. “It's been such a long time.”

“Er, excuse me for being intrusive…” you set down a towering plate of pancakes before sitting yourself. “But can you guys get wet?”

“We may not be flesh and bone anymore, but we can still enjoy a good shower,” Dogday answered as he set the plate of sausage links in front of you. “Or even a swim.”

“Why is the water white?” Ollie interrupted, looking oddly at the glass of milk Kissy poured in front of him. “I've never seen it that color before.”

“It’s milk,” Poppy answered. “You used to love it when you were a baby and we had access to some.”

Ollie sniffed suspiciously before taking a drink… and then nearly gulping the entire glass in one go. You took the opportunity of everyone chuckling at the boy to split the sausage between the others. Kissy noticed first and clapped excitedly, her mit-like hands muffling the sound.

“Angel,” Dogday sighed, though you weren't sure he was touched or exasperated. Or maybe both.

“Shh, I saw the way you were eyeing them. I can always buy more when I go to town.”

He was silent for a while before taking a bite of the sausage, savoring it unlike Kissy who had all but inhaled hers. Ollie was following Kissy’s example with the banquet of food, while Poppy was benign as dainty as could be, cutting everything into tiny bites, even for her smaller size.

You couldn’t help but savor your own food, feeling rather happy and optimistic about the future.