#this take on vampires? it's not really universal to every single thought i have about vampires

[yallemagne]

I just wanted to say that I greatly appreciate your approach to topics around vampirism, if you have time please stop by my castle for a... wine.

I try. I think about vampirism far far too much.

I've thought a lot about vampirism being comparable to chronic illness: something incurable, only treatable. The constant guilt of being compared to a leech, of being accused of stealing resources that could have gone to someone more deserving, of feeling a constant pressure to choose between your continued survival at the expense of others or martyrdom. You choose survival, and you hate it.

The stress of having to fight to receive accommodations and people sneering at you because, as a result of those accommodations, you don't look sickly enough for them to pity. And if you did look sick enough to be deemed worthy of aid, they'd just whisper about how inconsiderate it is of you to be out and visible, scaring them and their children.

Nothing is easy, but people insist you're entitled and haven't had a rough enough life. You ache, you burn, you can't eat what others can, and what you can eat, they balk at. During your commute to the hospital, you're handed a flyer by a well-meaning soul telling you that people like you are a disgrace to God. You go to your check-ups and wonder if the person giving you blood agrees with all the rest that you are better off dead but simply keeps their mouth shut.

But nah, let's just say vampires that seek a humane source of blood are worse than the ones that assault people. That's why the post kinda rubbed me wrong, the only "ethical" thing is to just die, then? But none of that matters. After all, it's all fictional, and I'm running with a different metaphor than OP was.

...wine, you say? Yes, yes, what a delightful offer... you are referring to expired fruit juice, yes?

[panlight]

Does anyone else remember when breaking dawn book came out the fans criticized it, and meyer kept retconning her words in every single interview? she stated one thing then she would say something else. There was a person who made a petition about a letter to her about breaking dawn and her brother seth gave a very rude response. Fans of twilight (I myself just realized this) need to realized the twilight books are about the author stephaine meyer herself. it's meyer's dream, she is bella cullen, edward is her dream man and renesmee is her dream baby girl she never got. the whole twilight saga franchise of the novels are written for her, not the fans as she stated before in a interview (when she said that i was shocked).

what are your thoughts on this?

I was around for the Breaking Dawn controversy. I wasn't as invested in the fandom at the time, just sort of dipping my toe in, so it was more that I was watching it from the outside than being really involved myself, but yeah it was a lot. A lot of people really hated Breaking Dawn, and one of the sticking points was that the fandom felt like SM had shut down any possibility of Edward and Bella having kids with her answers about vampire reproduction, so for her to do this surprise twist of like, "haha I didn't say a vampire couldn't have kids with a human!" went over like a lead balloon. A lot of people felt lied to, even if SM didn't technically lie. Misled, at least.

I vaguely remember the petition to the brother (who managed her website at the time), and I also remember some leaks a few days before the book came out and everyone trying to figure out who Nessie was and what the name could be short for, and people guessed Agnes because it meant lamb and people complained about what a terrible name Agnes was (oh you sweet summer children!).

As I said, I wasn't super invested at the time. I had read the other three books but I had read them as part of a marathon read of vampire books, so it wasn't that I was into Twilight specifically, more vampires generally, but I spent quite a bit of time reading through Amazon reviews because some of them were so funny. I waited for the book to be available at the library before I read it, though. I wasn't in a place of "you ruined my favorite thing!" it was more like, haha wow this is weird!

And like, I get it. At the end of the day, SM wrote this for herself because she had a cool dream. She's a mom and a wife and that's the world she knows and the "happily ever after" she wanted for her story. But Breaking Dawn just kind of laid all the weirdness of the other books bare. Things I thought were hyperbole or exaggeration I was like, "oh wait, that was all literal this whole time? Wild." And everything that bugged me about Bella being the center of the universe who everyone fell all over themselves to help and protect and comfort and reassure (and if they didn't, they were Bad) was taken to the next level with everyone's instant devotion to Renesmee, who I personally found uncanny and soulless as written rather than cute and endearing.

I found it interesting how SM misjudged how a large portion of the fandom would feel about Renesmee, and especially Jacob's imprint on her. It's like she didn't understand Team Jacob at all if she thought they'd be happy with this. I remember following someone's recap and they got to a point where they were like "ugh are Jacob and Leah going to be a thing? That's so predictable" and then read them epically freak out when the imprint on Nessie happened and they were like "I take it back! Give me Jacob and Leah!! Anything but this!!!" And she misjudged a segment of Team Edward too, who wanted Edward and Bella to have sexy and romantic vampire adventures rather than a kid.

She wrote the story she wanted, so much so that she fought to have a fourth book so she could include Renesmee who was in her original ending (Forever Dawn). And that's her right as an author, and you know it worked out for her, she made a ton of money from the book and movie(s). But her version of a HEA (marriage and kids) came off to some as strange in a teenage vampire romance. I remember SM explaining that the Twilight Moms seemed to get it, that nothing was sexier than your boyfriend becoming your husband and the father of your child, and it's like, cool, but these characters are teenagers so the younger readers who related to them weren't expecting this yet.

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter Two

Summary:

You really want to get Astarion back for making you feel so flustered, but as a result you find yourself in a bit of an uncomfortable position.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: E Word Count: 3.7k Tags/Warnings: unprotected p in v sex, under-the-desk blowjobs, semi-public sex, vampire bites, modern au, college/university au, urban fantasy, enemies to lovers, poor gale doesn't deserve this

Oh shit she's writing? I had like six other things planned but I can't keep away from this world. Once again thank you @zipzoomzaria for the beautiful screenshots and also the inspo for Professor Astarion, and @aw11tht33tha for the beta!

You don't need to have read part 1 for this part to make sense, but it does help.

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

Ever since you slept with Astarion - or, perhaps more accurately, he fucked you mercilessly over his desk - you haven't been able to get him out of your head. It's been a little embarrassing, frankly. Every time you pass him in the hallway, a single glance over those round wire frames has you suppressing the moan that bubbles in your throat. One whiff of his fragrance and your pussy clenches in a Pavlovian response.

You're standing in front of your mailbox in the main office, reading some memo from the chair about season selection for next year. It's always a tedious process where no one can agree and you somehow all end up with shows you hate.

You smell him before you hear him, and you can feel your ears grow hot. He comes up behind you, standing closer than is probably necessary, and reaches above you to empty his own mailbox.

“Pardon,” he says politely, but you feel like he’s going out of his way to brush against you. A shiver runs down your spine as he very gently grazes the back of your neck while shuffling through the papers. 

He turns and starts chatting amicably with Grace. How can he stay so cool when you're practically in shambles? You pretend that you're still reading the short memo just to collect yourself. When he finally leaves the main office, you manage to turn around and imitate some semblance of a normal person. Grace catches your eye and frowns.

“Are you feeling okay? You're looking a little flushed,” she asks, genuine concern coloring her voice. You twist your face into a smile, hoping that it reads like gratitude rather than annoyance.

“Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. Probably just a little dehydrated,” you say, putting a little extra rasp in your voice to sell your story.

“I’m about to leave for lunch, I can grab you something from the student union, if you're thirsty.” She smiles sweetly, fully unaware of the double entendre.

“I'm good, I have some water back in my office. I appreciate the offer, though.” The smile is now plastered to your face as you move to leave the office. You bump into Karlach while trying to make a hasty exit.

“Gods, soldier, you okay? You look like you just got out of a sauna.” She claps you on the shoulder and your knees buckle. The technical director had spent 10 years in the army, so you can't really fault her for the nickname, or the smack to the shoulder, for that matter.

“Just a little thirsty, is all,” you reply, continuing to scoot your way out of the office. 

“Yeah ya are!” She points two finger guns at you and flashes a big suggestive smile. You freeze for a half second, then realize she’s making a generic lewd joke and not pointedly calling you out for your current condition. You awkwardly finger gun back as you finally slip through the doorway and book it to your office.

You sit down at your desk and grab your water bottle, taking a long sip. It's unbelievable how much of a hold he has on you. What you wouldn't give to be able to fluster him as much as he does you. Have him struggle for words. Make him look like an idiot in front of your colleagues.

You think back to your bathtub fantasy from a few days ago. You could not have predicted the dynamic more incorrectly. You really thought that you'd be the one in control, that you could have him coming undone for you. The image of him whimpering beneath you still sets your heart racing, though it can't be further from the truth. Your breath hitches slightly as the scenario plays out vividly in your mind, like your own personal erotica.

“It must be rather exciting, whatever's got your blood going that way.” His sultry voice interrupts your debaucherous thoughts and you yelp in surprise. You glare at him leaning in the doorframe, hands in his pockets and collar casually unbuttoned, looking like an absolute treat. He chuckles and saunters into your office, settling into one of the chairs across from your desk and crossing his lithe legs. Despite your newfound attraction, he's still an arrogant little shit.

“I thought you couldn't come in uninvited,” you scowl, keeping your voice low for fear of someone overhearing.

“I don't recall being invited last time, but you didn't seem to mind,” he says with a laugh, and you squirm under his piercing red gaze. “Regardless, the rule only applies to homes, not individual rooms within a public university.”

Your frown deepens, unsure if he's being condescending or not.

“Is there something I can help you with, or are you just here to frustrate me?” You lean back in your chair and cross your arms, trying to imitate his casual authority. You're not terribly successful.

“You seem to be doing that perfectly well yourself, the way I could hear your arteries pumping from down the hall.” His smile widens, flashing just a hint of fang, and your resolve weakens. He stands and stretches his arms above his head, his shirt raising just enough for you to see a sliver of porcelain skin. You’re positive he’s just doing this to annoy you.

“Well, when you have a free moment, stop by my office, I have something to show you,” he drawls, an almost bored lilt coloring his tone. “And do try to keep that pulse of yours under control, it’s distracting to the point of vulgarity.” He glances at you over his glasses one more time before retreating into the hall again.

You cross your legs, trying to ease the ache between your thighs. He's absolutely insufferable. And he’s so much worse now that he knows he has this power over you.

You gather your materials for Voice and Speech, plotting ways to enact your revenge.

***

Against your better judgment, you find yourself walking toward Ancunín’s office after class. You take a moment before knocking on the door, smoothing down the front of your dress and tousling your hair to give it a little more volume.

Suddenly the door opens and Mol comes barrelling out in a huff.

“D’you believe this berk? Gettin’ on my tail for ‘academic integrity.’ Ain't nobody more integrous than me!” she grumbles, adjusting her bag angrily. She turns her heated gaze to you.

“Can you talk to your boyfriend and tell him to leave me alone?” she spits and you splutter involuntarily.

“Mol, we’re not–”

“Come off it, miss. Everyone sees the way you look at ‘im. Just work your magic so I can get back to gettin’ a college education.” And without another word, she's off. You blink, trying to make sense of what just happened. Are the students talking about the two of you?

Shaking your head, you knock on the door frame as you walk into his office. It's just as cozy as last time, warm light emanating from lamps in every corner to compensate for the blackout curtains over the windows. Honestly, how does anyone not know he's a vampire? You can almost hear his excuse, something about how “direct sunlight is ruinous to one’s skin.”

“Destroying students' lives by keeping them academically honest?” you smirk as you gently close the door behind you with your foot. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I swear, that girl is too clever for her own good. I'd almost respect it if she didn't get on my last nerve,” he sighs, putting his glasses back on and glancing up at you. His expression softens for a second before quickly shifting to mischievous. You slide over to him, leaning against the edge of his desk as you face him.

Any animosity you may have held dissolves as he looks up at you, his hand absentmindedly stroking your thigh just under the hem of your skirt. You shiver as you try to keep your voice steady.

“You said you had something to show me, professor?” You emphasize the title with the gusto of a young porn star. He smirks and pulls you down until you're straddling his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck and grind your hips into him, feeling the beginnings of an erection. He lets out a little puff of air that can almost be mistaken for a moan. He buries his face into your tits, running his nose along the neckline of your dress and slides his hands under your skirt to cup your ass. You breathe in sharply, your breasts rising to meet his lips.

Then a knock at the door.

You both freeze and stare at one another. You hear a muffled voice on the other side.

“Dr. Ancunín, do you have a minute? I have something extremely important to tell you,” Dr. Dekarios from the School of the Weave shouts through the door.

Astarion instinctually replies, “Just a minute!” and the two of you share a wordless exchange.

-What the fuck are you doing?

-I don't know, I panicked!

-What am I supposed to do?

-Hide, perhaps?

Without thinking you slide off his lap and under the desk. Just in time, too, as Dr. Dekarios doesn't wait for Astarion’s permission to open the door and waltz right in.

“Dr. Ancunín, thank goodness, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.” You can hear the Arcana History professor rush in and eagerly sit down in the red velvet lounge chairs across from Astarion’s desk. You groan internally as you realize that you might be stuck here for an unbearably long time.

“Actually, Dr. Dekarios, I was on my way out,” Astarion says as he starts to stand before quickly reversing that decision. You realize with a smug sense of satisfaction that he’s still slightly aroused.

“Completely understand, I'll keep this brief, then. So, the other day, you and I spoke of the use of bardic magic and its position amongst playwrights in Renaissance England.”

“Yes, I recall,” Astarion responds through gritted teeth. He sinks back down in his chair,  resigned to sitting through this conversation.

“And how it was common practice at the time to use magic from the college of swords as decreed by Elizabeth? Ben Jonson, Marlowe, Beaumont and Fletcher, they all used college of swords magic.” Dr. Dekarios’ voice increases in pitch with his excitement. You suppress a sigh, preparing yourself for a long wait in this cramped space. It’s not particularly comfortable, especially with trying to keep out of the way of Astarion’s long legs.

Although…

You might not have to keep out of the way. Maybe if you just… brushed your hand along his leg…

Astarion coughs to hide the sudden intake of breath your touch causes. He crosses his legs and you smile knowing it's to give himself a little reprieve. A feeling you know all too well.

“Yes,” Astarion says, his voice frustratingly steady, “I recall your enthusiasm in telling me this.”

You're trying to read his response. Is he into this? Is this a game he wants to play? You test your luck again, dragging your fingers up his thigh more deliberately. His leg quivers and he shifts his posture as the Arcana professor continues.

“Well, I had a thought. Consider this: Shakespeare brought about a major shift in how we think of the Western theatrical canon as it pertains to bard magic, correct?”

You scooch forward and press your tits into his knees that are now pinched tightly together. You slide your hands up his inner thighs, prying them apart slightly. You lean into his legs further as your hands continue their journey upward, squeezing as they get to the top of his thigh.

He kicks suddenly, a soft thump into the back of the desk. Is he telling you to stop? You pull back and glance up at him, the top of the desk obscuring most of his face. He's stiffly nodding along to Dekarios’ rambling.

“And remind me, what other major storytelling convention did Shakespeare also shift during this time?” You honestly can't tell if he’s actually asking, or giving Astarion a mini exam in his own specialty.

You wait for a response from him. He lets his thighs fall open and gently nudges your hip with the side of his shoe. No, his foot.

This mother fucker is playing footsie with you?

Oh he is definitely into your little game.

You push his legs open again, this time sliding your hands all the way up to his cock, and you feel it twitch beneath the wool of his pants. You gently stroke him and his hips give a subtle twist into you.

“I'm not sure–” Astarion begins, but stops short when his voice cracks. You nuzzle his bulge,  running your lips across it as it hardens. You slip a hand under him and give his balls a gentle squeeze. You can hear his breath stutter, but it's unlikely Dekarios can as he quickly answers his own question.

“The humors, correct? My understanding of non-magic literature isn't fully up to snuff, but I am correct in remembering this, yes?”

You lick a fat stripe across the fabric and you hear a metallic click above your head, like his watch just made sudden contact with the surface of the desk. You can imagine the veins in his hands bulging as he clasps them together tightly.

“Hm, no, ah yes, you are correct. Most English Renaissance playwrights understood characters as a balance or imbalance of the four humors.” Astarion manages to keep his voice relatively even, and you know you need to up your game. You reach up to undo his belt buckle as quietly and efficiently as possible. Luckily, you’re able to hide the noise within Dekarios’ exclamation.

“Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking! So, hear me out. What if these two shifts were related? In moving away from college of swords magic, Shakespeare felt less constrained by the four humors. Or perhaps the other way around?”

You reach into his pants and free his cock, now fully hard, and tease your fingers along his shaft. His hips buck a little more forcefully, as though controlling his movement is growing more difficult. You grip his pelvis tightly, holding it in place, and relishing the fact that you have the control for once. You flick the tip of your tongue across his slit and his hips twitch again under your hands.

“Could be…” is all Astarion can manage to reply. Hopefully at this point Dekarios is in a full-on oration and he won't need to contribute much, if at all.

You pop the head of his cock into your mouth, working the underside of it with your tongue. You clamp your arms down on his thighs, pulling them closer to you and pushing them into your tits. Your inner thighs grow damp as your own arousal quickens. You squirm as a miniscule moan works its way into your mouth. Not loud enough for anyone to hear, you hope, but you're certain that Astarion can feel the vibration because his hips jerk again. His torso and face above, or at least what you can see of it, gives little away.

“And this could even,” Dekarios continues, showing no sign of awareness of anything else happening in the room, “signal the shift into realism, could it not? Beginning with Shakespeare and culminating with Chekhov and Ibsen in the nineteenth century?”

You take in more of him, relaxing your tongue and letting him fill your mouth, discovering his taste. He almost lifts off his chair in his attempt to thrust into you, and you use it as a way to take him in deeper. Your jaw is beginning to ache with how slow you're going, but it's worth it to feel Astarion’s frustrated discomfort.

You can hear him take a slow breath before speaking again.

“You know who would absolutely love this discovery of yours?” His voice is low, smooth, as you bob your mouth on his cock. “Tav, the classical theatre professor. Her office is right down the hall.”

You choke and he deftly covers the sound of your gag with a cough.

“Bless you,” Dekarios says after a fraction of hesitation. He continues as though there was no interruption at all.

“Then I shall share my findings with her! Down the hall, you say?”

“Room 208.”

“Excellent!” Dekarios stands and you wrap your hand around the base of Astarion's shaft, letting some saliva dribble out of your mouth to lubricate it. You can hear the wizard quickly make his way out the door.

“Gale!” Astarion yelps as you twist your hand and swirl your tongue in tandem. He clears his throat and corrects his decorum. “Dr. Dekarios, the door, please.”

“Oh, of course! Apologies,” he says with slight chagrin, and then you hear the latch on the door click. Astarion rolls his chair back and grabs your hair, pulling you out from under the desk.

“You saucy little minx,” he growls and you stumble forward and into his lap, your lips crashing into his. He easily tears through your leggings and underwear, exposing your dripping cunt to the open air.

This man is wracking up quite the clothing bill.

He slides two fingers into you, roughly stretching you out and you groan into his ear. 

“You didn't seem to mind,” you manage to squeak out, repeating his words from earlier with significantly less dignity. You grind onto his fingers with his cock trapped between you, and your clit slides against his shaft. Another shuddering breath rockets through you as your whole body clenches around him.

He yanks his hand out of you and you whimper at the sudden emptiness, but you don't need to wait long for him to grab your waist and sink you down onto his cock. You can feel the skin toward your perineum tear slightly but the stinging pain is nothing compared to the delicious stretch that comes with him bottoming out. He shoves his fingers in your mouth and you arch your back into him, the taste of your own juices flooding your tongue.

He keeps his other hand firm on your lower back as he thrusts up into you. You cling onto his neck, pulling his mouth toward your breasts as they rise and fall with your stuttering breaths. He takes his hand away from your mouth and slides the hem of your dress all the way up to your chin. His lips latch on to your nipple poking through the soft cotton of your bra.

“Gods, fuck,” you groan as you continue to roll your hips into his, and he flicks his tongue against your tit. You push down even further onto him and pull the cup down, pushing your now bare breast into his teeth. His eyes flicker upward, glasses sliding down his nose slightly. You bounce harder on his cock and grip the back of his neck tightly.

“Fuck, please, bite me,” you whine, aching to feel every part of him in you. He doesn't need to be told twice and he sinks his fangs into the sensitive flesh around your nipple. You cry out but try to stifle the noise by pressing your open mouth into his hair. You can smell that citrusy fragrance he wears and your fingers claw into him.

He sucks your blood out from around your tit, and with every swallow he laps his tongue against you, over and over. You're certain his devil tongue will be your demise.

Your pace increases and it becomes harder to suppress your moans. You clamp your mouth shut and bury your face into his ear. He releases your breast and roughly kisses you to keep you quiet, the taste of iron filling your mouth.

You come with an explosive cry that gets swallowed into his kiss. As you're still riding the wave of your orgasm you can feel his, his hips rutting as his dick throbs with the pulse of his semen.

The two of you finally slow, the sticky mess between you squelching lewdly. You listen intently past the sound of your heavy breathing to try to hear any indication that someone overheard. When you deem it safe, you let out a sigh of relief that dissolves into giggles. He drops his forehead into your shoulder as the hem of your dress gets overtaken by gravity and slides down your front

You disentangle yourself from him, wincing slightly at the feeling of him sliding out of your sore pussy. You get a better look at him, your blood still smeared on his lips and chin, his now-flaccid dick slumped above his waistband. You're certain you can't look much better, dress rucked up around your waist, hair mussed and sticking every which way. 

You methodically put yourselves back together, Astarion stuffing his wet dick back into his pants, you straightening your dress and hair. You catch his gaze again and somehow he still manages to make you blush, his crimson eyes peering over his frames. He reaches out to tuck a wayward lock behind your ear.

“Maybe next time we’ll have sex in your office,” he chuckles. You swat his chest playfully only to find yourself drawn into him, not wanting to pull your hand away. It's strangely romantic, and if you were able to think clearly, his hands snaking around your waist might bother you. But your head is still spinning and your cunt is still throbbing with the aftershocks of your orgasm, and little could upset you right now.

That is, until the doorknob turns and Dekarios pops his head back in.

“Looks like she’s not–” His voice dies off quickly when he realizes what he's walked in on. He coughs, mumbles an incoherent apology, and backs out quickly.

“I swear to the gods I'm getting a scroll of arcane lock for that damn door,” he growls under his breath, and you lean your forehead against his chest in deflated embarrassment.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

How would the male companions go about helping/comforting a tav who’s “monthly visitor” came to town during their journey??

A/N: The timing of this ask is impeccable because guess what I just got? Lol. But seriously I would be mad as hell in the 5 or 6 days I’m supposed to stop my mind flayer parasite AND save the universe I ALSO had to deal with cramping and bleeding. Nu-uh. Nope. Sign me the fuck out. Goodbye cruel world, I would be DONE. 

TW: Mentions of Menstruation; Blood 

Tried to keep this Tav as Gender Neutral as possible so that it could apply to anyone who menstruates.  <3 

Please Like & Reblog! 

Male BG3 Companions Helping Tav w/ Their Period

⭐ Astarion: 

He probably notices it before Tav does

Of course, he offers to help “clean up” ;) (this may or may not get him a kick in the balls)

No, but seriously, if he and Tav are in a relationship, he’d have no qualms going down there himself every so often to “alleviate” some symptoms. That is, of course, if Tav would go for that kind of thing. Astarion won’t keep pushing it if Tav says “no”. He respects the hard boundaries Tav gives him. 

Of course, he teases Tav a bit. Not horribly, and it’s all in good fun. But enough to let Tav know that this matter doesn’t disgust or upset him in the slightest. It’s blood for devil's sake! What creature would be better prepared to handle it than him?

If any of Tav’s clothes end up stained or they end up bleeding through them, Astarion has just the thing to take the stains out. Turns out, knowing how to get blood out of most fabrics is quite beneficial knowledge in the vampire community. Plus he has an instinct for knowing where the best tailors and seamstresses in Baldur’s Gate are. Should Tav need an emergency change of clothes, he knows just the place! 

Then again, Astarion himself has no problem with the blood stains. After all, they’re traveling around killing monsters for gods sake! If anyone has a nasty comment about how much blood either he or Tav is drenched in, they better be damn quick on their feet. His arrows can shoot pretty far. ;P

As far as cramps or pain goes, if his previous, ahem, suggestion was shot down, he’ll make sure Tav takes a moment here and there to rest. He might even bother Gale, demanding some sort of heat pack. Scratch that. He’s most definitely harassing Gale for some sort of heating pack spell. 

If Gale refuses, he might even try and figure out how to fix one himself. Granted fire and vampires aren't the best of friends, but Tav is the only one in the last two-hundred-plus years to see him as a person. A little scorching here and there means nothing if Astarion can let Tav know how much he values them. 

🔮 Gale: 

He’s clueless, okay? Tav would have to outright tell him. I mean yes, he was raised by a single mom, but she didn’t exactly share the details of this stuff with him. And it never came up all the years he was with Mystra because goddesses don’t exactly reproduce the way other Faerun humanoids do! Please forgive him, he really does want to learn.

He immediately offers to find a spell or potion to either pause or skip this one altogether. He gets that Tav may want to opt out of dealing with it for the time being, seeing as the two of them have much more pressing matters to attend to. 

He’ll cast it himself if Tav wishes. Or he’ll find another trustworthy wizard to recommend. Although he does prefer to do it himself, he understands Tav might be uncomfortable with the thought of their new partner doing such a thing for them. His entire life has been spent studying magic, so of course he immediately thinks to use that to remedy any problem Tav has. 

Nevertheless, should Tav choose to deal with it in the old-fashioned non-magical way, he’s perfectly accepting of that as well. He’ll enquire about which local herbs are suitable for such applications, possibly even soliciting the help of an herbalist or surgeon. 

Gale wants to give Tav as many options for comfort as possible. If Tav’s concern is about heavy bleeding, he looks for answers on natural remedies to lighten the flow. Or he may even speak with a midwife about the best clothes and absorbent materials to use in the coming days.  

As awkward as he can be in social situations, he’s oddly great in this endeavor. He treats it the way he would a Weave experiment- with an open mind and curiosity. At the end of the day what matters is Tav knows how much Gale admires and respects them. And that he doesn’t think of them any less for having this bodily function. If anything, he admires Tav more for being so forthcoming. It’s an ask that actually strengthens his and Tav’s relationship. 

🗡 Wyll: 

Wyll probably shies away from it the most. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help Tav in any way he can, it’s just that he’s a gentleman, and to his knowledge, speaking of certain subjects with the one you like, isn’t something a well-behaved gentleman would do. That being said, a true gentleman is always prepared to put away their discomfort in order to aid their friends, so that’s exactly what he does. 

He enlists the help of Shadowheart almost immediately. He knows realistically, there are others he could ask (midwives, doctors, healers), but Shadowheart is an ally and a Cleric to boot. So her skills as well as her knowledge may very well come in handy. 

He’ll go along with whatever Tav decides, but he, like Gale, recommends Tav either suspend or skip this round. He thinks it wise to have all their wits about them for the battles ahead. With demons like Mizora and Raphael running about, none of them can afford to get distracted. Again, if Tav chooses to push through it, he’ll be kind and supportive, and request Shadowheart’s healing in subduing some of the more troublesome symptoms. But deep down, he’s happier should Tav decide to use magic or spells to resolve the issue for the time being. 

And then, Wyll goes all out in preparation for the next one. Once their fight is won, he can turn his attention back to his family- his Father, and of course, Tav. He makes sure his family home has a room for them, customized in many ways to Tav’s liking. Wyll has their favorite color blanket, a soft pillow, their favorite flavor tea in an enchanted flask to keep it just the perfect temperature… the list goes on and on. 

He loves Tav so much. He just wants them to be comfortable, and to feel safe to express whatever feelings they have. After all, Tav is the best thing to ever happen to him. 

🌱 Halsin: 

The nice thing about him being ‘one with nature’ is that he has no unease regarding the subject. He is an archdruid, and some three-hundred years old at that- believe me, there’s very little Tav’s body could throw at him that he’s not ready to receive. 

Out of all the companions, Halsin is the one most likely to not immediately suggest using magical means to pause or skip it. Instead, he has more natural aids at the ready- herbs, teas, heat packs, massages, and well, yes, even that. ;)

The difference between Halsin suggesting it and Astarion suggesting it, however, is that Halsin’s motivations are more focused on what he can do for Tav and their body; they’re not based on the idea of mutual satisfaction. Halsin has had countless lovers and years to understand pleasure. He knows you take turns giving, and he’s well very versed in that. 

Or if Tav isn't up for that, he'll offer to shift into a cat and rest on their abdomen, using his body heat to lessen Tav’s cramps. 

He’s also the most ‘normal’ when it comes to continuing their journey. He won’t make a habit of fussing over Tav unless they specifically request him to do so. Periods, however annoying and painful, are a part of life, of nature. Halsin believes it best to learn how to accept nature, and live in harmony with it, rather than try and prevent it. 

If Tav does want to explore other means of stopping this particular cycle, however, Halsin will help them any way he can, even if he doesn’t think it very wise to mess with the flow of nature like that. As a druid healer himself, he knows a few things or too about reproductive spells. He can make it so the symptoms lessen, or temporarily subside until their perilous journey has come to a close. 

Halsin may not want to settle for a single lover, but out of all of them, Tav seems to shine the brightest. He would do anything within his power to aid them. 

Bonus! 💪 Minsc (and 🐹 Boo!): 

He offers to fight it lol. Just straight up. 

“What is this thing causing you stress? Tell Minsc where it is so he can destroy it for you!” 

Boo basically has to be the one in charge of the situation, but then again, what’s new? 

Boo finds the supplies Tav might need, and directs Minsc to them. Boo also directs Minsc towards either Shadowheart or Halsin, because they’re better suited for dealing with these sorts of things. 

Once Minsc understands what Tav meant, he apologizes with a bouquet of wildflowers he picked. 

And by ‘picked’ I mean mostly smooshed before ripping their roots out of the ground.  

He's really trying okay, give the man some credit.

And give Boo treats to thank him for his service.

[thelioncourts]

You may have answered this elsewhere, but what are some of your favorite Jam moments, either in videos or in print? :)

oh, god, there are so many. I'm going to forget all of them, but !

s1 interviews where they talked about texting each other pictures and sam had his photos on live and jacob thought it made him incredibly interesting and they would update each other as they got new fangs in the mail.

their zoom auditions that landed them the roles, the deciding factor really wasn't how they acted as lestat and louis, but how they interacted as themselves with one another.

their date to the vampire boutique to buy vampire things and they bought candles they were supposed to light together but sam, ever the forgetful husband, lit his way before jacob and jacob was Disappointed.

speaking of ever forgetful husband, the reddit q&a where jacob was like 'oh sam is trying to get into the writers room' like the husband that knows everything or when asked about their first scene and sam said one thing, then jacob corrected it, and sam commented back like 'oh yeah jacob is right.'

jacob's teeny tiny teasy pics of sam from sdcc 2022 before any of us knew just how much they were going to ruin us.

"most fulfilling partnership...cREATIVE partnership"

when they got out to the main sdcc 2022 panel and sam was so nervous and jacob gentle started rubbing his back and they looked at each other and sam put a hand on jacob's thigh and AHHH

sticker shop date

l.a. date where they went to universal

walks along the beach in san diego

meeting in the rehearsal room all masked up and whatnot

eric's "the only difference between these two and their characters is that I've never seen these two fight"

jacob saying that sam's hair is really cool when it's put up

sam on ep2 of the iwtv podcast saying that when he met jacob he knew it would be really easy to fall in love with him...

jacob's one interview where he said that the coffin was comfortable when there were two people in it and associating sam's bday with valentine's day

jacob crying as hard as he did during the s1 finale because not only was it the acting, but it was also the acknowledgement that he would be losing this with sam in some way

prague dinner dates every single night........

taking delainey paddleboating in prague

the entire s2 finale reunion and how the mics were cut so they could have that moment, how they didn't really discuss it, how they just know each other as they do and it was them, and it was real

the tv insider jenga game where jacob was like 'what's my favorite snack?' and asking sam and then going 'why am I asking you?' but sam still answered anyway

when they walked up to each other at the s2 premiere for the first time (don't talk to me about it)

the entire s2 premiere, I am not allowed to Speak

the 92ny screening and every teasing little interaction they had on that stage, GOD

the interview where they talked about their dinner in prague and sam chose it as his last meal if he could choose one, even though he didn't like the food that much, but --

how sam said that filming s1ep5 it was so hard to see jacob as he was but jacob tried to alleviate his problems with it and so they have fun videos of jacob spinning and also sam took home his prosthetic eye

the locket bailey made with both sam and jacob's pictures in it and she showed sam and he was like 'oH MY GOD CUTE'

seine river walk, my beloved

clubbing in paris that I'm legally not allowed to talk about

swapping contacts, like who does that, why

sam saying that there's no one he would rather be nude and bleeding with

the paleyfest 2022 interview where bailey was talking about how sweet they are and jacob made the CUTEST face and then was like 'sam. are we best friends?' in the most giggly way and sam was just. so fond, so 'yeah, we're best friends'

in jacob's interview with autumn where she was like 'I tried to get sam to sing when...' and jacob just. fully knowing 'he's not going to do that' in the most deadpan way

the s2 premiere cute interview clips where jacob just goes and lays down and stares at sam (?????)

jacob talking about (during s2) how grateful he was to film with sam and how it felt like home and it was comfortable

the video with delainey where they go through several of the episodes and analyze scenes and they spent way too long giggling about bdsm and just reminiscing

the way any and everyone talks about them, it's so not normal (compliment)

I'm sure there are hundreds more, I'll add to it as I think of things

[silenttrxxs]

Choi Brothers x Reader

And… we’re back… i will note that this will and is more based towards Choi San x reader than Choi Jongho x reader.. please let me know if you want any one shots or anything based with jongho or any other members.

You never really thought about the sheer fact that anything other than bug, animals and humans existed in the world but now your stood here, completely frozen on the spot with two vampires, baring their fangs at you and smirking.

“Think she believes us yet or do we need to show her more” san says laughing, a hint of mischief in his voice.

Jongho smiled a giggle leaving his mouth at the words. “Sure a little fun wouldn’t hurt would it” he says his eyes changing to a deep red before edging closer to you.

“Hey darling are you going to just stand there huh?” Jongho says trying to rise you from the trance they held you in.

“Jongho… I didn’t think you had it in you anymore, i thought all this vegetarianism from you was making you weak” San says shedding himself from the constraints of his jacket. His eyes darkening and his gaze locked on yours as you slowly come around to your senses the fear creeping through your body as you watched the two men coming towards you.

“God do you smell that she smells so sweet doesn’t she?” San says towering above you and inhaling the scent around you.

“I dont like it personally san you know this.. but each to their own” Jongho says laughing a little and holding your body.

“I wouldn’t mind a taste but that would break every rule i have ever set out in front of me for the past god knows how long” Jongho says leaning into you neck and inhaling the scent.

Before he let himself loose control he stood back. A deep sigh leaving his body before turning to San.

“Im going out i cant allow it take over you know this ill be with Yeosang if you need me” Jongho says grabbing his coat and leaving the house.

“Yeah yeah i know where you’ll be have fun” San says waving him off and turning his gaze back to you. His hands coming to caress the sides of your body.

Now it was just the two of you the aura of the room changed considerably. The room felt warm, too warm in fact you had no idea if it was the fact that since laying eyes on San or the fact that you was now pushed onto the couch, your body covered with him. The way that you feel shouldn’t be right, it was told in old mythology tales that humans and vampires should never intertwine but the feeling of him above you was too much, the universe clearly had plans for you and seeing the way his eyes glistened in the light from the fire sent shivers down your spine.

“God i could just devour you whole right now but i like to play with my food” San says a smirk splayed across his face before capturing your lips with his.

You felt the world slow, the way your mouths explored each other was something that you have never felt before, you found your hands wrapped around the back of his head trying to ensure that your stayed in this very moment. The skin below your fingertips cold to the touch, you was always told that vampires were cold blooded and all the other things these books come out with but you now was here with a perfect specimen to confirm those facts.

“Enjoying yourself there darlin” San says looking down at you as you slid your hands down his chest before landing at the hem of his shirt, watching the action san smirked pulling the clothing above his head and throwing it onto the floor. His hands gripping your wrists and guiding them down his body tracing each curve of his abs, your fingers bringing a new sense of warmth to him that he has never felt before. “Like what you see huh?” He says his voice hitching a little at the feeling before looking down to take in your gaze.

You let your eyes wander, taking in every single detail of his body, from the curves of his toned body to the scars dotted along his body, the moles that covered his body. He was truly beautiful, that’s the only word you could form in your dazed mind.

“G-god your beautiful san” You breathed out before leaning up to pull him closer your lips capturing his in a heated kiss, you felt the familiar feeling of arousal pooling between you both, the room filled with breathless gasps and moans as you melded together. San pulled away taking a moment to capture his breath before moving you both, settling to place you on his lap, a hand slipping into the hair at the base of your neck. Your hands gripping onto the back of the couch as you settled your hips down onto him, you tried to ignore the way you felt his bulge brushing against your aching core. Noticing the way your breath hitched san let out a giggle his hand gripping onto your hair a little tighter as he pulled you closer his other hand finding solace on your hip as he leaned into your neck. “So fucking sweet baby” he breathed out before inhaling your scent again and closing his lips around your pulse point. His hands carefully caressing your body sliding up the soft supple skin of your back your shirt riding up as he took the clothing from your body throwing it onto the floor. you took a moment to compose yourself the air thick between you both. Your gaze locking with Sans as you lifted yourself up a little, you hands splayed across his chest as you took in the sight below you, his eyes blown out from the sheer arousal, the slight glint of red poking through which you could only decipher as hunger. “Is someone hungry” You ask smirking a little as you move your hips slightly, testing the reaction. A deep growl reverberating through the room as he picked you up throwing your body over his shoulder as he took you to his room.

He kicked the door as he entered, walking straight to the bed and throwing your body onto the silk sheets. A smug giggle leaving his body as you watched his every move, his hands skilfully taking the remaining clothes from his body as he walked towards you. Gripping onto your clothes ripping the fabric as he stripped you bare, your clothes finding their way landing with a thud on the floor. Your breath caught in your throat as slight wines leave your throat. His body now towered over yours, his lips finding the most sensitive parts of your body as his hands skilfully applied pressure to the places that drove you crazy.

“God you have no idea how much I’ve craved you since the moment i laid eyes on you” San breathed out before applying pressure to your core, the noise that ripped through your throat was music to his ears. “So pretty keep making those noises for me baby” He says as his fingers find the sensitive bundle of nerves, your back arching into his touch as he giggled, finding his fingers plunging into your hole before you could utter another sound. The breath catching in your throat once more as he delved deep inside you. Your body was electric the way his hands splayed across your body, his hand wrapping around your throat as he pumped his fingers inside you at a brutal pace.

“So fucking tight baby” He breathes out as his grip on your throat tightens at the same time your core clenches around his fingers.

“Thats it show me how badly you want it my love” He says his voice dripping with lust as he continues to bring you closer to the tidal wave that was overwhelming every single sense in your body. Your body reacting to his every touch with a wave of energy that was new to you, he had your body under his complete control. The intense wave barrelling through your body as you rolled your eyes back welcoming the warmth flooding your body as you let go, coating his fingers and arm with your juices.

“Good girl” he breathes out taking his fingers from your core, lifting them to his lips as he tastes you, his eyes glistening with a dark lustful hunger.

His body towering over yours as he moves your body your legs spread apart welcoming him between them as he looks down between you both, lining his cock to your pulsing heat. Breathing deeply as he sinks his length into your core, stilling for a moment as you hiss at the feeling, before picking up a pace that had the bed screeching beneath you both, the sheets now tangled in your grip as he thrusted into you. The room was filled with lewd noises the pair of you letting breathless moans and whines leave you body as you chased the familiar wave together.

“Fuck y-yes oh my god dont fucking stop” you whine out as your hand flies to sans neck, gripping onto his throat and squeezing as your walls clenched around his length, your body moulded together as you met his movements.

“F-fuck” he breathed out before gripping your wrist and pinning it to the bed below you his thrusts picking up in speed and force as he leant down sinking his teeth into your neck, piercing the skin a little, the deep red liquid flooding his tongue as he lapped up the taste, a deep growl forced out as he licked the wound and spilled inside you. “fuck you taste so good” he breathed out as he watched your limp form below him, he groaned as he pulled his softened cock from your walls and your body reacting as you clenched around nothing.

“stay there ill be right back” he murmurs before disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with a warm towel and a set of clothes.

“S-stay still let me take care of you” he says before wiping your body gently, your gaze rolling his every move before landing on his face.

“T-thank you” you breathe out as he dresses you, a satisfied smile on his lips as he takes a look at you.

“You look good in my clothes” he says as he pulls a pair of grey sweatpants over himself and climbs into the bed with you.

“You can stay with me if you like” he breathes out as he pulls you closer to him allowing himself to rest a little with your warmth covering his cold body.

[cry-ptidd]

Nev, you absolutely brilliant and beautiful and talented mastermind!

I need to hear about your thoughts and opinions on pre-canon Alucard aka Dracula!

First of all anon I'm gonna kiss you and hug you and serve you burek with a warm drink and a smooch on the forehead

Second of all,

Long, long yapping below 👇 🗣️

Now, I don't know if you meant Dracula as in in-canon Hellsing Dracula or Bram Stoker's Dracula, so I'll do both thanks to the power of autism. Vlad III isn't included bc I don't wanna.

Also this is just my opinion and mild analysis of both medias, not a properly structured essay.

Dracula (1897) - Bram Stoker

Ok so first of all, Dracula is one of my favorite books. I adore gothic horror and the spooky melancholic supernatural atmosphere of most gothic novels. I consider Dracula a masterpiece of horror, even with its faults, idc.

The epistolary structure of it makes the horror progressive and building, despite the fact that alarm bells ring out every single second of Johnathan's stay at Chateau Drac. The various themes of temptation and danger and oh my god the danger followed me home oh god oh fuck are fascinating, and the human group is interesting (also Mina was done dirty).

But also, it's an inherently queer novel, which, as a queer person who loves horror, i adore. Bram Stoker was really fucking queer, but that's something he hated about himself and suppressed; it's no surprise that the count's entire character is so fruity in itself, he represents Stoker's own repressed queerness. Drac is, in the book, inherently sexual - the exchange of fluids to turn pure, virginal ladies into hot deadly sexy vampire seductresses, and the fact that he protects Johnathan from his brides and is always so... Like That with him makes him so interesting.

The scene where the count takes great offense at being told that he has never loved by one of his brides is one of my favorites in terms of characterization, because Dracula doesn't have any need to bullshit at that moment. He could've just told her to stfu and back off, or even let them eat Johnathan. But instead he gets offended because the remark hit a nerve. He wants to love and to be loved, but his methods are rather... unconventional and predatory to the Proper and Orthodox humans of the story. Rip Drac, you would've loved (and been loved by) today's monsterfuckers.

We're gonna ignore the fact that the supercool and awesome expert amazing professor Abraham Van Helsing is Stoker's self-insert and that he's the one that (or at least greatly helps the group) hunt down Dracula, the representation of unorthodox desire and sexy, vampiric existence.

Dracula in the Hellsing universe

Ok so this one is interesting.

First of all I want to address how fucking funny it is that Alucard tried to fuck both Mina and her husband and fumbled them both but that's a topic I think he'd get mopey and very bitter about so let's not.

Hellsing Dracula is really interesting. In the novel, we're not given the count's pov (why would we? He's the villain anyway.) but in Hellsing we do, and we get it very often. We know his childhood, his identity, but most importantly his philosophy and personality.

Alucard's personality changed a bit over the years:

Vlad was arrogant out of desperation and survival; he had to be strong, because if he's not then he'll be crushed and his prayers won't be heard by the god he worships with battle, and he "can't be defeated, ever." He can't afford to be.

Dracula was arrogant because he was powerful and unchained. He was the master, he was a monster not leashed by morality or conventionality and religion and even his body was above what a human could ever do. He knew he was a threat and he relished in it. How could any of those puny humans beat him? The Count Dracula? But they did.

Alucard is a snarky asshole that didn't lose any arrogance but it changed shape; it's not that he can't be defeated, it's by whom. He carefully chooses his fancied opponents and clings to them like a leech, at least emotionally, and puts them on this pedestal where they're the only ones who may. Any other fight is just to pass the time. Those sniveling cowards can't defeat him, but those proud human warriors can. And he's the one who decides what's worthy or not, because he's a top-tier level threat. (When he tried to stop Anderson from using the nail, he basically told him Anderson was created just to defeat him.)

But let's get back to Dracula here for a sec. That arrogance comes with any vampire because that's what they do, they're hot and sexy and broody and egotistical, stealing blood and beauty for their own sakes. But he's also really damn sad. I imagine that he gets bored after a while, after the novelty of cool supernatural tyranny wore off. The count has all reason to be confident; he's on top of the food chain in all aspects.

But what do you do when you're at the top?

You don't have anyone with you. Those brides are companions, not significant others, hell they're not even named in the novel or barely acknowledged by him. Those humans are prey, not equals. He can try to portray himself as basically animalistic, he has emotions and he doesn't like that he has emotions. He's just really fucking sad.

Like. This is literally the most pathetic man I've ever seen.

The fact that he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against Abraham and his crew - on the contrary, he seems to admire them and puts them on a pedestal - shows that he longed to be beaten. He was tired. He needed novelty.

Now i don't know what fucked up experiments Abraham did on that poor thing but clearly he wasn't as powerful as Alucard is, but I doubt that increase in power changed much of anything to be honest. Man is just as miserable as he was before, but now he actually has a purpose - he has someone to serve, a master, someone to cling to.

And boy does he cling to them.

He respects Abraham and Arthur, both men who've undeniably hurt him, Abraham with the experiments and Arthur by leaving him to rot for 20 years (understandable, yes, but still I wouldn't like it if that was me) and yet he's shown them great respect. It's almost Stockholm syndrome (something that I don't believe in and isn't backed by science, but the idea stands) and his idea of any kind of functional relationship is unfathomably fucked up.

I won't dwell on Alucard too much since this is about Dracula, but it's actually rather easy to piece together his mental state and outlook on life with the few pieces we got. Someone please come help this man.

That's that!

I would also like to shoutout to @catsvrsdogscatswin for their wonderful characterization of Dracula and Alucard altogether, but mostly in their fic Kaleidoscope, which is unironically and not hyperbole my favorite fic on ao3 up to date.

Seriously. Go check it out.

[fallinglikethis]

2025 TBR

I was tagged by @allwaswell16 @evilovesyou and @chaotic-bells to do this. Thank you for including me!

Honestly, there are so many books I want to read I’m not sure where to start. I guess I’ll go with what I am Currently reading:

27 Hours by Tristina Wright- only just started it but I know it was meant to be a series that was never finished.

FantasticLand by Mike Bockoven - borrowed from a friend. It starts off a little dry and wordy for my taste and is described as Lord of the Flies (which I hate in all it’s incarnations) meets Battle Royale (which I haven’t read, but enjoyed the movie for). We’ll see if I finish it.

The Forgotten Earth by Brilynn O’Neal - An ARC I got from the author. It’s enjoyable so far, without being too heavy on the world-building. Officially on sale February 5th.

Rock Paper Scissors by Alice Feeney- Reading for a book club. Not typically my kind of book because I don’t usually enjoy wanting to slap every single character for their dumb decisions the entire book. It’s not too bad yet, I’ve only had thoughts of drive-by-slappings twice.

The Pact by Jodi Picoult - Reading for a different book club. This book club runs on themes. This time we’re all reading different books by the same author. Jodi Picoult usually tackles extremely tough subjects. This book is about a death pact gone wrong. It felt the least traumatizing option of the ones I have to talk about, so that’s why I picked it.

In Every Generation by Kendare Blake - Takes place in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe but with kids from the next generation. Oz is back to care for his werewolf nephew, Spike is a Watcher, Buffy might be dead, and Willow is a mom who’s daughter is the next slayer (and also a witch). It’s basically fanfic, which we all know I love.

Otherworld by Jason Segel and Kirsten Miller - takes place in a VR World, but the stakes are higher. If you’re into anime, it kind of reminds me of Sword Art Online.

The Maze Runner by James Dashner - this one’s a re-read. I read it ages ago but I have to remind myself what I read before I can go further in the series. They made Thomas a little more likeable in the movies. (Or maybe I’m just biased because it’s Dylan O’Brien.)

Hidden Figures (Young Reader’s Edition) by Margot Lee Shetterly - I did not pick the young reader’s edition, it’s just the one I found in a bargain bin. Maybe a different version will read better, this one reads kind of like an encyclopedia article. Still interesting though.

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard - Sequel to Red Queen, which I enjoyed. It’s kind of strange because when I put it down, I don’t really look forward to picking it back up, but when I am reading it, I always get easily drawn back in.

Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen- This is my first Sarah Dessen book despite owning at least three (maybe 4). I love the cover, and it’s got this feeling that all my favorite fic writers are so good at conveying maybe without even meaning to. There’s this kind of coziness that kind of lingers in the pages, even when it’s talking about something difficult. Idk what it is, but it keeps me excited about going back to it.

A Million Suns by Beth Revis - Sequel to Across the Universe. This is kind of like Glass Sword where it doesn’t call me back to it but still sucks me in when I’m reading. But with more sci-fi.

You may be asking, why do you read like you’re running out of time? Well, my friend, that would be because my actual TBR is never-ending, and I want to read them all. I get so excited just looking at my bookshelf, knowing there are so many worlds I get to explore.

I tag @laynefaire @londonfoginacup @seananmcguire @movieexpert1978 @gaycousinlarry @somethingwittyorother .

And if you’re wondering, here is what this chaos looks like (the actual bookshelf is three stacks deep, with piles of books on the floor on both sides):

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas24 NYE: Infidelityverse

Happy New Year, everyone!

This one was requested by my beloved beautlilies, and I am powerless to resist her whims.

This universe is getting a massive overhaul in the rewrite. Pondering it for a hot minute, I really want to explore Jasper's 'addiction' to emotions, his fucked up relationship with Maria, Alice's absolute disconnect from humanity, how hard she's worked to build the Cullen version of herself from a blank slate, and who she is when that's not something that makes her happy anymore, Bella's fascination and fixation on becoming a vampire, and the absolutely messy dynamic of the Cullen family and their stunted, unchanging roles in the family hierarchy. I don't want there to be a singular 'villain'; just a lot of flawed people making choices that result in consequences. And as it stands right now, it's very flat and not quite as complex as I want it to be. So hopefully I can sit down and smash out the new version of the first chapter sometime soon.

This particular section kind of blends both versions, but it takes on the new timeline - this second takes place about 3 years after Twilight; Bella is still human and attending college with Edward.

I hope you enjoy it - I also thought it was unfair that the second half of STL AU was today's post when it was never intended to be split into two posts, so that will be up in the next few days.

Happy New Year, and I hope 2025 is beautiful for you - manifesting health, happiness, wealth, and just really delicious snack.

--

It’s a while before she sees any of them again in person. She’s doing fine on her own. (They all forget that part of her, that she was alone for twenty years. She was reborn alone, and it has clung to her ever since. Maybe that’s why she was such a shit wife.)

Rosalie reaches out, asking to meet them in Prague, and Alice appreciates that Rose isn’t trying to track her down, burst in her front door like finding her is the key to putting everything back together again. The idea of any of them being in her little house feels kind of threatening; it’s really the first time she’s had her own household.

Before she met Jasper, there were boarding houses or empty houses that she broke into for a day or two. The beach houses and real estate she’d owned with Jasper were still considered part of the family’s portfolio, still watched over by Esme who did all of the maintenance and restoration. This is the first time she’s ever had to manage on her own, and she doesn’t want them to look around and judge it. To see how she’s not as good as Esme at making it a home, that she’s forgotten some obvious detail of playing house as a human.

(Esme would make a lot of comments about decorating, because it’s still very… utilitarian. Most of the props she bought for the kitchen are still in their packages, crammed into the hallway closet. But there’s something very grounding about being a ghost in this house.)

She writes back to Rose that she would like to see her and Emmett, and then she packs for Prague - mostly the clothing she thinks of as her armor because she bought it and wears it exclusively for seeing her family. It’s all timeless styles because she doesn’t have the energy to maintain the wardrobe she used to.

(Apparently a broken heart sucks all the joy out of those things she used to love. But she’s started designing again, started drawing up patterns, so maybe this is just a new era.)

It’s before dawn when she leaves, but there aren’t any neighbours to spy or gossip. She’s the only property on this road. It’s a village that’s slowly disappearing, as the residents die off. She’s treated with indifference, as a foreigner in a town full of people who have known each other for the best part of a century.

//

Rose and Emmett find her in Prague, sitting at a coffee shop with tea in front of her, and Rosalie is genuinely pleased to see her sister again. Alice is a contradiction in every single way Rose can think of; somehow the most steady and consistent of them all whilst being a whirlwind of possibility. Emmett once compared cornering Alice to herding cats, but Rosalie has always privately thought it would be more like catching a hummingbird blindfolded.

But this is not that version of Alice. Emmett has always said that the worst thing was that day she sat down on the couch next to him, rigid and blank. That he never knew how much energy and effort she put into being Alice until it wasn’t worth it to her anymore.

“I guess we should be grateful she didn’t wasn't mad enough to become a supervillain or join the Volturi or something.” Emmett had carelessly said that in the family meeting after she left for France, and it had started an argument big enough to go down in the family’s history.

But Rosalie never forgot it because Emmett was right. If Alice had ever had a taste for doling out consequences and vengeance, she could have brought hell down around them. Hell, Rosalie would probably have encouraged her.

Perhaps this was better though; this calm but guarded monolith of a woman - Rosalie had spoken to Jasper when he returned with the financial records from France, and Alice’s appearance and behaviour had shaken some modicum of realization into him, that this wasn't going to be like every single other time. Rose hadn’t been particularly sympathetic, and pointed out that it had taken Alice sixty years to grow a spine and walk away.

Jasper hadn’t spoken to her for two weeks. Something about Alice now had cut Jasper to the bone, and maybe that was more satisfying than burning everything to the ground.

Alice looks well, her eyes a toffee shade, and her outfit is perfectly on point for the early winter’s day, in shades of black and grey - it just doesn’t look like something she would have worn back in Forks. Rose’s lilac winter coat looks almost childish against Alice’s outfit.

She’s missed her sister.

“Rose!” The smile on Alice’s face is genuine, and she rises to hug her, and then Emmett.

//

Alice is clearly not happy to be blindsided by Jasper and Carlisle’s arrival on the third day, but they move past it. They fill their days together with museums and shopping, Emmett doing a lot of the heavy lifting to fill in silences - especially when Esme pushes a little too hard.

When Carlisle and Jasper do arrive, there is no displeasure expressed, none of the dramatics Rosalie herself would have indulged in. Alice greets them both sweetly; no hugs, but with a quasi warmth in her voice. As the day progresses, not once does Alice make a pointed comment, a little jab in Jasper’s direction, an underhanded joke at her husband’s (oh, Rose has to stop thinking of them like that) behaviour. But this version of Alice, it’s impossible to guess what she’s thinking as they make their way through galleries and museums. There are no lingering looks, no longing gazes, and by the end of the day Rosalie has decided that her sister is behaving like a fucking airline hostess without even a glimmer of independent thought.

(Jasper behaves too, it must be said. He’s very polite, maintains all of Alice’s boundaries in their conversations, and doesn’t even try to touch her. Rose wonders if that’s one of the reasons Alice is dressed in layer upon layer of winter clothing; so that if Jasper reaches out, he still won't be able to hold her.)

It’s not until after the orchestral performance that it all goes to shit because Carlisle really cannot help but champion Edward at every possible moment, as if the harmony they’ve achieved this visit is the foundation for a return to the status quo and not the new world that frankly Rosalie and Esme have worked fucking hard to get to with Alice. But then Carlisle hasn’t been the one gently luring Alice back into contact with cautious emails and texts.

“I understand that this will be controversial,” Carlisle says, as they sit on the balcony of the penthouse Esme has optimistically purchased. It does need a lot of work, and it’s a nice project, but if Alice lives anywhere nearby, she’ll relocate now. “But Bella gave me this to pass along to you.”

Alice’s face goes blank as Carlisle slides the envelope across the table and for a split-second, so quick that Rosalie thinks she might have imagined it, she sees the hurt on Alice’s face at the sudden comprehension that this visit has been hijacked into an attempt at reconciliation.

Rosalie doesn’t even need to look at Jasper; she can feel the anger rolling off him like heat.

“You can return it to her.” Alice’s voice is firm as she slides the letter back towards Carlisle.

“Alice, I understand your anger and I support you making your own way, but both Edward and Bella miss you terribly. We all do. It’s not the same without you around,” Carlisle says earnestly, and Rosalie is fascinated by the reactions of the family - Jasper’s glaring at Carlisle with a look that could kill; Emmett looks dejected at the inevitable blow-up of their visit; Esme is staring at the table top looking upset. “Bella wants to make amends; I know she hopes you’ll be at the wedding in the summer. I promised Bella I would see that you received the letter.”

Alice nods, but her face is guarded as she stares at the letter before picking it up; Jasper flinches like he’s going to take it from her but steadies himself when she looks over.

No one is surprised when the evening ends shortly afterwards; Carlisle is visibly disappointed that Alice doesn’t open the letter in front of them, and the ease of her departure, claiming a red-eye flight back to wherever she’s been holed up (knowing Alice, there will be three separate flights under two different identities so that they can’t find her. There’s always been that streak of paranoia in her sister, one that Carlisle and Jasper both blamed on her nomadic years alone and Rosalie secretly blamed on how many people had let Alice down.)

Rosalie is the only one not surprised when, as Alice walks towards the door with her suitcase in tow, she pauses to rip the envelope in half and then quarters before tossing it in the garbage.

They all stand in silence as the door closes behind her, and Esme whirls around on Carlisle instantly, looking furious.

“She would already know what it said.” Jasper stops the argument in its tracks and Rosalie is grateful; there’s something about watching Esme and Carlisle argue that makes the world feel like it’s off its axis. “She probably saw Bella write it.”

// The invitation feels like an obscenity in front of her. It’s also tacky as fuck. Edward Mason Cullen & Isabella Marie Swan invite you to celebrate their marriage…

She was still invited to their fucking wedding after she binned Bella’s letter. Edward had left a voice mail after that, and it was one of those times she wanted to strangle her brother, to get him to understand that sometimes apologies weren’t enough. Sometimes the damage was too great to rebuild. He’d told her how disappointed he was that she hadn’t accepted Bella’s olive branch.

(Maybe she’d dashed off a text, asking Edward if he’d read the stupid fucking letter. If he knew that Bella’s jumbled thoughts boiled down to her trying to find any way possible to achieve eternal life - or restless death - and stay at Edward’s side forever no matter what the collateral damage was. We can fix this, Bella had written earnestly, as if Alice were equally responsible for the wreckage Bella wrought. Edward had just asked her to consider responding, and she’d blocked him for a week in response.)

When she holds the invitation up, she lets the visions slip into place.

If she accepts, a blue dress so dark its nearly black. More revealing that she would have thought, but with thin straps elaborately criss-crossed across her back, like a net. Charlie Swan is surprised and pleased to see her, and makes some awkward comments that Bella had said they’d fallen out before Alice left. Renee appears, introducing herself and urging Alice to go upstairs and greet Bella, that Bella will be overjoyed Alice chose to attend.

There is a look of confusion and concern when Alice’s ice cold response, “I’ll see the bride after the ceremony,” finds its target. Perhaps she pointedly sits on the groom’s side in the far corner, as far away from Bella’s side as possible.

After the ceremony, photographs. She excuses herself after two - one with the Swans and Cullens, and one with just the Cullens. She pretends not to hear the photographer suggest one of all the women together and stalks off to the reception. Carmen and Eleazer greet her, they speak. She finds a table in a dark corner, and watches proceedings from there. A few Forks High students find her, clearly looking for gossip, and she offers them just enough for Jessica and Angela to side-eye Bella and Jasper for the rest of the night. Petty but satisfying.

Jasper finds her just before the cake cutting, and takes a seat opposite her. And then it blurs and they’re in the woods together, pressed against a tree as he fumbles for his belt and gathers up the skirt of her dress and that jolts her right out of the vision, tossing the invitation onto the table and stalking into the living room, irritation practically rolling off her.

It’s not set in stone - nothing is - but she feels oddly sick that the wedding is going to make her so bitter, so angry, so raw. She’s not sure if what she’s found is peace or apathy, but it’s so much easier than how she was before that giving it up feels like she’s betraying herself and every single moment of the last four years.

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/5/2024: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994)

I'm sorry, but this movie fucking sucks. I hadn't seen it in decades and I thought it was probably "OK"; I devoured the books as a kid and I didn't remember hating the film, but I should have realized that it was a red flag that I didn't love it. I have now discovered that it's bad enough that it failed to thrill me when I was a morose little horror dork who was really the target audience, and as an adult I can hardly stand it.

Daniel Molloy (Christian Slater, dressed up as Art Spiegelman for some reason) interviews for-realsies vampire Louis (Brad Pitt, still looking like he spends a lot of time in the sun) about life with his master Lestat (Tom Cruise, who knows why) and their eternally-childlike daughter Claudia (poor li'l Kirsten Dunst). Suddenly I feel like I don't know what to say about this, as I'm writing, even though I enjoyed the book and also the superior-in-every-single-way TV show. You know. Louis is really sad about being a monster. Lestat is really happy about being a monster. Claudia is really mad about being a monster. They have interpersonal problems. Later they meet some other vampires, and have interpersonal problems with them. At the end Louis is angry with Daniel for not getting the point, but maybe neither did I.

To some degree the problems of the movie are the problems of the book, but on the page they're basically forgivable for various reasons. I'm probably not going to refresh my memory, but as I recall Anne Rise has a way of really drawing you into her world, which is so literally-sensational that it makes up for her boy-crazy humorlessness. Everybody basically has one characteristic, outlined above, but the visceral pleasure of the prose takes over--and to be totally fair, it was novel at the time. It was the vampire story we had all been waiting to hear. (Ok, so the book is from 1978 but it still felt fresh in 1994) But when you port all that to the screen and leave the telling to these actors who are almost universally miscast, it all just lies there, dead.

I thought my hesitation about rewatching this was related to my petty aversion to Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise specifically. I really don't enjoy either of them in general, and I also felt like they were profoundly wrong for the roles; neither of them could be less goth, less tortured, less otherworldly. It feels criminal to fill these classic queer outsider roles with alpha males who seem like they would have beaten up your weird gay friends in high school, and their performances are not remotely good enough to make up for this impression. Kirsten Dunst is perfectly awful but like...you just can't have a 12 year old playing a person who is any older than 12. It cannot work. It's not her fault, it's just a bad idea.

The only guy who is any good at all in this is Stephen Rea, a staple of director Neil Jordan's films, who I almost didn't even recognize because his Santiago is so uncanny and dynamic and fun despite having very little to do. I love the way his look references LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, it made me wonder how much more could have been done by subtly comparing Rice's vampires with their cultural predecessors. Rea lights up every scene he's in because he's so mischievous and unpredictable, and he's also almost the only person with any standout stunts--which helps me segue into the other main gripe I had with this movie, that it is incredibly stiff and static. It's like a prison. Everyone is totally weighed down by their giant ridiculous wigs and seven layer costumes, so even though the movie is supposed to be all sensual and shit, it's like nobody can even move.

Dealing with INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is making me realize that I'm not quite sure what I think about Neil Jordan. I have this kneejerk reaction that he is Great because THE CRYING GAME is such an institution, and MONA LISA is real good too, but I might have found all of his other movies kind of humorless and stiff and like, beautiful but not altogether meaningful. I really struggle with THE COMPANY OF WOLVES because of its terrific FX and handful of fun scenes, but there is something about it that fails to connect with me. Sometimes it's overly pretentious, I mean paralleling a maiden's coming of age with the blood on the white roses is like...pretty gross, dude. But overall there is something about it that just lacks substance, despite its relentless and oppressive Symbolism. It seems like this problem should have been smoothed out for INTERVIEW since it was shot from Anne Rice's own script, but according to me, it really does not work out.

[dumborangecat]

Fionna and Cake predictions!! !SPOILERS!

(these are heavily based on parts 1 & 2 of my analysis, and reference them frequently so they might not make sense without reading it) (they also may contradict eachother as i have multiple different ideas for what may happen)

Just realised i accidently became the very thing i hated, and called something an ‘analysis’ while most of it is just going over the plot, please take this as a token of apology

1. The vampire universe.

Based on the images we get and the order they come in for the trailer, my guess is that when Simon and the gang arrive in vamp world they get jumped by a group of vampires. Based on the fact we seem to see them in a different place later without any convinient new travel companions it’s likely they make it out without help.

I have 2 ideas for the canon that we see pointed at Simon Fionna and Cake (SFC since i’m too lazy to keep typing all that)

- The canon is manned by a vampire and shoots out either more vamps or maybe even marceline herself. The image we see of her zooming through the air she’s in a very ‘aerodynamic’ pose, with her arms right to her sides and knees entirely unbent, the same pose one would be in if they’d just been shot out of a canon, while the other vampires are very spread out, looking more like cats when they lunge at their prey. This would also explain Simons shock and concern compared to F&C’s more tame ‘oh there’s a canon now’ type look. It would be pretty shocking to see basically your daughter about to be shot out of a canon, directly towards you.

- The canon actually shoots out the garlic bombs we see go off later. This theory also means i’ts likely manned by (probably) Huntress wizard we see later (presumably) shooting at either SFC or the vampires. I think she likely does this because she’s never seen these people before and assumes their either vampires, or just some other threat. This still explains simons shock (sort of) as it’s not everyday you see a garlic bomb canon, and he’s smart enough to realise that probably means their mistaken for a vamp, while fionna and cake have never seen a garlic bomb before and would just be confused.

If if is marcilene coming out of there, that probably won’t go over well when she realises that it’s simon she’s being shot at. We don’t see her simon in the trailer or intro yet, but based on the fact that she’s likely evil here, it’s safe to assume he’s no longer around to teach her proper morals and such. Whether he died, left her, or something else happened, we don’t know yet. But based on which of these 3 happened she’ll have a very different reaction to see simon now. It’s also possible that the crown just made him crazy way earlier, meaning he didn’t have as much time to like, ensure she doesn’t go evil by teacher her stuff like ‘vandalism is bad’ n stuff. If that is true, i think her hearing that there’s a simon out there who isn’t corrupted by the crown but is activly trying to be would royally piss her off.

We only really get shots of (probably) the middle/start of the episode, so there isn’t many clues to the ending but i have a few ideas. (Hopefully) seeing marcy again and likely getting reminded of how the crown hurt her before, would at the very least begin planting the seeds of doubt in Simon’s mind about the crown and if he won’t give it up for himself, he’ll consider giving it up to avoid hurting his friends n family back in ooo. Overall i’m super excited for that episode and the more in-depth look into simon and marcy’s relationship it’ll hopefully give.

2. Weird desert world thing!

Starting off we know this is set post-vampire world because the entire time Fionna is wearing this new green jacket (that honestly reminds me of Magic-woman-betty’s jacket but could just be a coincidence) that she doesn’t have in vamp world.

We get quite a few less shots of this episode sadly, so there’s less to work with, but i do have some thoughts,

Every single image we have in this desert place only has either Fionna, Cake, or BMO. Absolutely no Simon. leading me to believe somethings happened either to him or all 3 of them causing them to be seperated. What? I’m not sure, it’s possible he was captured by the scarab which would by an interesting route to go and (if people are correct about her being scarab’s boss) coukd even lead into Golbetty apearing, or there could just be a mix up and someone in the workd kidnapped him or smth. Either way it looks like he’s MIA for now.

BMO seems to be super importsnt this episode, getting a sort of dramatic-ish reveal but more importantly she has Ice kings secret tapes, and seems to be playing them for F&C. F&C seeing the tapes would no doubt change their perception of both Simon and Ice king, hopefuloy having them realise just how horrible possesing the crown was, but also seeing how Ice king wasn’t actually a fun guy who wrote silly little books but someone who was incredibly sad and lonely. This new perception of the two would hopefully lead them into no longer wanting ice king to put on the crown, and instead trying to find a different way to save their world.

It could also show to fionna that magic and adventures aren’t as fun as they first seem, and maybe push her into accepting her ‘mundane’ and ‘boring’ world as a place she actually does love and enjoy and is okay living in.

3. Simon & Betty (flashback)

we only get 4 images of this and they paint a relatively small picture about what actually happens but they paint one nonetheless

Based of these 4 images, it looks as though Simon and Betty are on a date of sorts. Simon also runs to Betty before she catches the bus to the airport for her trip. The date could happen before or after she doesn’t board the bus, but i think it’s after, not only because it’s a dark photo but i just don’t see how it would fit (narrativly) if it happened first. Basically it seem to be a flashback to the day simon and betty first met, fairly simple.

While i can’t come up with any more then that for the flashback, i do think it’s either something we see right before golbetty, or even during golbetty. possibly like a ‘remeber when we first met, and blah blah blah’ type thing to try and get betty to remember being betty (if she doesn’t in her golb form)

That’s all i can think of, i would add a golb section because of all the forshadowing we get but the foreshadowing isn’t enough to tell me what actually happens with golb so i left that out.

I’ll either look really smart or really stupid once fhe next episodes come out and i can’t wait to find out which

[cielsosinfel]

I never posted a list of my favorite books I read last year, so here's something brief (with links to posts I made about the books, if I did):

Fiction:

Bloom by Delilah S Dawson: An F/F horror romance that I would describe as "An Eroguro Yuri Yandere Visual Novel Bad End In Western Book Form." A woman coming out of a terrible break-up, and cutting her mother out of her life before uprooting to a town where she knows no one, falls head-over-heels for a beautiful and eccentric woman at the farmer's market. A downward spiral into obsessive love ensues. Short, sweet, perfect build-up, would recommend for an easy fun grotesque read. (Major CW warnings: short but graphic descriptions of past CSA and violent animal death.) Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh: a young human girl growing up on a space station of the remainder of human separatists, waging a fruitless war against the alien empire that decimated humanity years ago, suddenly has to confront the fact her entire upbringing and understanding of the universe and its politics and the foundation upholding her beliefs and ideals was a lie. There's F/F and M/M romance but they're not the focus (and tbh not very satisfying. The story is satisfying.) has one of the most artfully written explorations of the horror of incestuous grooming that I've ever seen written. Major CW: Characters facing racism, Incest and ever-present threats of sexual violence and forced pregnancy.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling: F/F SF horror fiction: a woman lies about her credentials to take on a very dangerous, but lucrative, cave diving job in order to escape her backwater mining planet has the slow realization that her employer and handler does NOT have her best interests at heart. A terrifying visceral psychological horror that spirals out of control into an emotionally and mentally abusive romantic relationship. What's better than this, two women becoming unhealthily and abusively condependent as they face the horrors of deep caves, isolation and family trauma together.

Walking Practice by Dolki Min, tl. Victoria Caudle: A South Korean self-published novel translated into English, about a carnivorous, shapeshifting alien trapped on Earth who uses dating apps to find its prey amongst the lonely citizens of a major city. A very harrowing exploration of social isiolation and ostracization of people who fall outside the majority norms, with a definite focus on disability, sexuality and transgressive gender.

The Wicked and the Willing An F/F Gothic Horror Vampire Novel by Lianyu Tan: What the title says lol. This takes place in colonial-era Singapore, where our heroine Gean Choo takes on a job as working as a live-in housekeeper for wealthy white European Verity Edevane, who she's drawn to and desires despite every single warning flag, and is introduced to Po Lam, Edevane's faithful and most trusted employee. And then Gean Choo realizes her new employer is a vampire and handsome Po Lam, who has been murdering young women for her to feed off for years, is determined to protect her. This novel does not go the way you will think it might go. There is a lot going on it that I LOVED and really recommend it. Major CW: Characters facing Racism throughout and descriptive discussion of past CSA that comes up several times.

Nonfiction & Poetry:

Wanting: Women Writing About Desire: A nonfiction anthology of short memoir pieces where women from a very diverse background and of diverse identities, write about their relationships to sex, their bodies, and the act of desiring. I really, really am glad I read this. There is some of the most thoughtful and truthful, uncensored, writing on the complicated sides of being a CSA survivor, that I've ever read, in this book. Many women also write about the intersections of sexual desire and race and culture, transgender status, non-straight sexuality, disability.

Cartographies of Desire: Male-male Sexuality in Japanese Discourse, 1600-1950 by Pflugfelder: A very comprehensive overview of the history of sexual and romantic relationships between men in Japan from the Edo Period through to the post-WW2 period, as well as government efforts to control and repress such relationships. I really appreciate this book because it heavily cites Japanese-language sources to show that the repression of homosexual relationships between men was not purely a part of Meiji-era Japan's process of "modernization" via adopting many Western moral and political concerns- control and repression of male-male sexual relationships has happened all throughout Japanese history, but for more complicated reasons than disgust and moral disapproval of men fucking.

Major CW: A lot of the text is about historical pederasty (that is, sexual relations between men over the age of 18 and boys under the age of 18) and sexual violence is a major element of what is examined.

I'm gonna add to this when I come home but I'll just post this for now since it's pretty long.

[forcebook]

OMG MJ I'm so so so SO happy you've welcomed me back like this! I thought you were gonna be like hmmmm who's this? I'm so good! I suddenly disappeared a pretty long time ago, my apologies to everyone (has it been like 2 years??) and last year I made the sudden decision to enter university again as a 28 (now 29) yo! I'm studying something I love, I've made wonderful friends and I got out of the tiny town I was living in all on my own! I am feeling so good within myself, better than ever! although now I've had to make a new tumblr, it's ugly and i've lost my touch on how to make it look cute, booo! But I missed this community so bad and always felt like I was missing something. watching bl isn't the same at all without everyone and I have missed everyone every single day, so I'm back! and I am super happy to be back!! I've missed so much like good lord do I wish I was on here watching Pitbabe with everyone, that must have been a wild ride. Anyway, I'm hoping I will be welcomed back with open arms and am excited to catch up on everything I've missed! I have been keeping up via the bl subreddit but not in the past 2 months. I need info on what I need to be watching right now and what everyone's excited about coming up! Big love to you!!!! Mwah!!!

omg there’s NO way i could ever forget you!!! + sounds fake but i remember all my dear tumblr friends lmao i did notice your absence and felt it even more!!!!

it really has been quite a long time! but no need to apologize! you did what you had to do!! i could only hope to see you again some day, at least to know how you’re doing!

oh but that’s amazing!! my mom went back to college at 45, there’s no age to do something you want!!! so proud of you for that!!!!!

i’m sooooo glad to know you’re doing so well!!! that’s fantastic!!! i hope things keep going great for you!!!

aldkskdkskkd take it slow!!! you might remember how to tumblr eventually. if not, i’m sure there’s tutorials on google 😂

i feel you!! i tried leaving tumblr for 2 weeks last month and it was so lonely lmaooo this community is truly special and adds so much to the bl viewing!!!

super happy to have you back and even happier that you took your time to find me 🥺🥺🥺 don’t know how you did it but i’m glad you did!!

oh god YEAH. pit babe and the sign airing at the same time was AN EXPERIENCE!! truly one of a kind. you would’ve loved it!! aldkskkdks

for sure!! you will always be welcomed here!!!

have you watched love for love’s sake??? are you watching milklove’s gl?? these are MUST WATCH!!!

and have you watched the mock trailer for jossgawin’s vampire bl??? i’m literally waiting for that show as if my life depends on it lmaooo there’s a lot to come, i can barely keep up with everything these days but i’m glad we’re gonna get to watch things together again!!!!!

big love to you right back 😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

[thatqueercookie]

Got tagged by @luckshiptoshore (I've got the same first two as you)

8 shows to get to know me!

1. What We Do In The Shadows. This show really does have it all. A queer vampire polycule. A couple that's been together for 300 years and is still in love. The absolute BEST will-they-won't-they on television bar none. Guillermo's character arc is the best growth I've seen in a character in some time. It's hella sexy at all times. Everyone is so perfectly flawed and complicated. This show has inspired me to write more fanfiction than any show ever has! Also it's HILARIOUS, and tragic.

2. Our Flag Means Death. This is the sweetest purest love story and reminds me that no matter what you hate about yourself, or what others hate about you, there is someone out there who will love you for all those things! The representation is off the charts in this show and my love for every single babygirl member of the crew is immense. The only downside in the fandom is the discourse about Izzy. Like seriously, just let him be a part of the narrative. He's fun to hate and he's fun to play with in crack fic/art.

3. Doctor Who. This show will always and forever pretty much be my religion. The messages of love and intelligence over brute force and cynicism are so great. And the message that every single soul in the universe MATTERS and is important and unique and beautiful. And these messages are delivered through a gender fluid intergalactic nerdy tour guide with an infectious sense of WONDER for everything who takes you through time and space battling fascism and capitalism in a mess of camp effects and plot holes. I have seen all the classic and new series and I'm working my way through the Big Finish audios and EDA books.

4. The X-Files. Probably one of the best shows the small screen has ever seen. It's scary, it's suspenseful, it's funny, it's romantic, it's smart. It has simultaneously the longest non-sexual, emotionally intimate marriage AND the ultimate sexual slowburn. I could (and have) watch every episode a million times and enjoy them just as much every time.

5. Star Trek. I love every iteration of Star Trek, but The Original Series is my absolute favorite. It just gives me so much hope for the future. That someday, after all the human race's growing pains, after all the war and the racism, sexism, and homo/transphobia, after the greed and the poverty and pollution, we'll LEARN. We can be better. We'll explore and we won't explore to conquer or assimilate; we'll explore to learn about life and it's complexities and become even better versions of ourselves. And the friendship and sense of family on the Enterprise is just so beautiful. Also Kirk/Spock are the best definition of soulmates I've ever seen. The alien cultures within the world of Star Trek are just so well built and thought out (much better than in Star Wars). As an anthropology major, this FACINATES me.

6. Good Omens. The longest truest love story you have ever seen and one of the only (alleged) representations of romantic asexuality I have ever seen. Aziraphale and Crowley, an angel that doesn't fit in in heaven and a demon that doesn't fit in in hell but they fit with EACH OTHER and they love earth so dearly. It's humanism vs. religion and we win.

7. BBC Ghosts. I'm a sucker for the found family trope and this show does it so well. They're FORCED to become found family because there is literally no way for them to leave. All the ghosts are such nuanced (and autistic) characters and Mike is the best husband. He's so supportive of his wife and her crazy ghosts. BTW the U.S. version can go suck eggs in hell.

8. Willow. A return to the fun fantasy genre and the power of love and friendship that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's also a sapphic's dream! A demi-masc princess and her lady knight in a love story that kiss in the very fist episode? YES PLEASE! And Elora may be the chosen one but she sure does suck at it at first, and I LOVE that about her! The chosen one shouldn't be a perfect magic user, they should need to learn like anyone else. And THRAXUS BOORMAN!!!! Witty, slutty, leggy, longhaired, bisexual scoundrel who deserves to be in every single fucking scene! BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S ON THE KNIFES EDGE OF CANCELLATION SO GO SUPPORT IT ON DISNEY+ RIGHT NOW!

tagging: @someguywife , @indashadows , @glitter-mouse , @blakbonnet @bootlegsun , @nandorisms

[silverselfshippingchaos]

👀 any of the halloween asks you wanna do!!!

HELLO FRIEND!!!!

1. do you & your f/o decorate your house? if you have an idea of what it looks like, show us!

Okay so!!! I'm gonna answer this one for K.yohei, my beloved husband!

(I am going to climb him like a tree and kiss him all over.)

Honestly? K.yohei isn't super huge on decorating. His friends go absolutely nuts over it though, so he loves watching their madness! Ash isn't too wild about decorating either. It's just another day, right? May as well hang up some fake webs and call it a day!

But being around the influence of K.yohei's wild ass (affectionate) friends and having their own place means that they're more open to the thought! They hang up some lights and decorations (note that all the hanging is K.yohei since he is significantly taller than Ash is)!

Ash's favorite thing to do is bake spooky-themed treats! Although my G.intama S/I is a professional baker, many of my S/Is share a love for baking.

But also! Ash suggests carving pumpkins together. I've never done it before, and neither has he.

(The real reason why Ash brought it up is so she could watch his arms flex as he works. He's surprisingly buff under the jacket!)

Overall, this couple doesn't go too wild over Halloween, but doing small bits of decorating is a really fun way to spend time with each other. And there is absolutely nothing I love more than spending time with him.

2. is your f/o from a horror movie/game/series? if not, would you make an AU where they were (like a vampire AU or something similar)?

I'm gonna answer this for my wife! KH is indeed nightmare fuel sometimes, but I wouldn't call it horror!

However, there's a lot of art out there about A.qua as a vampire and it happens to make me extremely flustered. It's almost embarrassing how much the thought makes me blush!

So I do have an AU where A.qua is vampire and Ash is a human (a vampire hunter as well) and... uh... They fight. A lot. Mouth-to-mouth combat.

I also have another AU written where the roles are reversed and Ash is a vampire! I love Vampire Ash since she's just so goofy. One of my favorite moments from a fic I have written about it is where Ash asks for A.qua's name while sipping blood from a wine glass. A.qua says her name and Ash gets all confused and looks at her glass of blood.

"A.qua? No, you silly goose! This is blood!"

And it makes me smile when I think about it because it's just so goofy.

Anyhow!

The pair have been separated for a decade, so whenever they reunite in K.H3, they want to spend a lot of time together. Whenever they were little and they got a break from E.raqus' training (or they snuck out at night hehe! Ash's idea ofc), they'd watch the stars together. Talk about all the different universes out there. How much they'd like to explore them all.

So I think that they should take a trip to Halloween Town! It's a running gag that Ash gets extremely blushy over all of the outfits A.qua throughout the different worlds. I think A.qua's outfit there would be a vampire costume, and Ash is very much not focused. Normally Ash's outfit covers most of her body but oh nooo suddenly her neck is exposed!!! Whatever shall A.qua do??

(you should've seen them whenever they went to Atlantis and were both mermaids LMAO Ash was blushing the same red as her tail!)

But yeah! Ash thinks A.qua is the most stunning woman ever in every single spooky AU.

[purplesurveys]

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Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn’t? More like couldn’t. I had a really terrible craving for kwek-kwek and went to two different places I knew served them, but apparently the universe thought I didn’t deserve street food today because said two places were both not open, lol.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? Sure. Mostly people from high school or college that I’m close enough to exchange banter with online, but not close enough to actually hang out with in real life. Also, a pandemic changes people. Most people I know have become more reserved in the last three years.

What colour box does your favourite cereal come in? I don’t have a favorite cereal.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Mugs, sure.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? God my shoulders and lower back are just going THROUGH IT. I realize it’s from sleeping on my foldout sleeping bags/mattresses under my loft bed which has been a major contributor to my strained neck and back – and I didn’t even realize it was being so until in my whole body just started to hurt all at once. Anyway, I’ve since made adjustments to the room and I’m back to sleeping on my actual bed now and I really hope this resolves the issue. 

What is your favourite snack to eat with a hot beverage? I don’t like hot beverages and will do anything to avoid having to drink them.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? Don’t ever rush healing. That’s been my mindset since the day Andi shared the advice; if you’re hurting, then just grant yourself the time to be hurt. 

What’s the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Idk and can’t remember if there’s been any. Again, I’ve Eternal Sunshine-d myself when it comes to every single memory from my previous relationship lol.

Do you own any adult colouring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah I have several but it’s the same ones I got like 5-6 years ago and don’t really use/color on anymore. I used to like the really intricate city-themed ones.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? It was around six months ago when I bought my current *earphones. Don’t have headphones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What colour is its shade? No lamp there, but we have two ceiling light fixtures and both give off a yellow hue.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I do.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? I had rice today when I ate a few rolls of sushi; now I feel like getting pasta at 2 AM since you mentioned it hah. Mom made a batch of anchovy pasta earlier tonight, so I’ll just have to microwave it.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. Gelatin. Only time it’s acceptable is if it comes in the form of pork belly lol.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Definitely Angela, but sometimes I’ll also end up oversharing with Andi.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? If so, why do you think that happened? I have, but it happened well after the breakup. I was finally starting to move on and allowing myself to encounter new things and people that can contribute to a new chapter of my happiness, so falling out of love was just letting nature take its course at that point.

If you have pets, do you talk to them? I very much do. I think it’d be weird to have a pet and just...never...talk to them? Are there people who really don’t?? Hahaha.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? This is me with Game of Thrones and Grey’s Anatomy. And shows that my generation loved to love when we were teenagers like Supernatural, Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Glee hahaha.

Is there anything you haven’t done lately, that you’d like to do soon? Shopping for clothes. I’ll definitely need to have a spree soon what with my upcoming Thailand and Malaysia trips PLUS I need a concert outfit too. Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yeah, a few like adidas.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Kwek-kwek :/

Have you watched or read the news today? Have not. I mean I always see glimpses of top news on social media – the bar results are especially a hot topic these days – but I don’t ever, like, actively seek a rundown of the day’s main headlines.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. There aren’t any books at the dining area.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Yeah we have a McDonald’s, Burger King, Chowking, Wendy’s, Jollibee, Starbucks. If anything we mostly order from McDo.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you’re looking forward to? Not really, no.