#my fic: infidelity verse

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas24 NYE: Infidelityverse

Happy New Year, everyone!

This one was requested by my beloved beautlilies, and I am powerless to resist her whims.

This universe is getting a massive overhaul in the rewrite. Pondering it for a hot minute, I really want to explore Jasper's 'addiction' to emotions, his fucked up relationship with Maria, Alice's absolute disconnect from humanity, how hard she's worked to build the Cullen version of herself from a blank slate, and who she is when that's not something that makes her happy anymore, Bella's fascination and fixation on becoming a vampire, and the absolutely messy dynamic of the Cullen family and their stunted, unchanging roles in the family hierarchy. I don't want there to be a singular 'villain'; just a lot of flawed people making choices that result in consequences. And as it stands right now, it's very flat and not quite as complex as I want it to be. So hopefully I can sit down and smash out the new version of the first chapter sometime soon.

This particular section kind of blends both versions, but it takes on the new timeline - this second takes place about 3 years after Twilight; Bella is still human and attending college with Edward.

I hope you enjoy it - I also thought it was unfair that the second half of STL AU was today's post when it was never intended to be split into two posts, so that will be up in the next few days.

Happy New Year, and I hope 2025 is beautiful for you - manifesting health, happiness, wealth, and just really delicious snack.

--

It’s a while before she sees any of them again in person. She’s doing fine on her own. (They all forget that part of her, that she was alone for twenty years. She was reborn alone, and it has clung to her ever since. Maybe that’s why she was such a shit wife.)

Rosalie reaches out, asking to meet them in Prague, and Alice appreciates that Rose isn’t trying to track her down, burst in her front door like finding her is the key to putting everything back together again. The idea of any of them being in her little house feels kind of threatening; it’s really the first time she’s had her own household.

Before she met Jasper, there were boarding houses or empty houses that she broke into for a day or two. The beach houses and real estate she’d owned with Jasper were still considered part of the family’s portfolio, still watched over by Esme who did all of the maintenance and restoration. This is the first time she’s ever had to manage on her own, and she doesn’t want them to look around and judge it. To see how she’s not as good as Esme at making it a home, that she’s forgotten some obvious detail of playing house as a human.

(Esme would make a lot of comments about decorating, because it’s still very… utilitarian. Most of the props she bought for the kitchen are still in their packages, crammed into the hallway closet. But there’s something very grounding about being a ghost in this house.)

She writes back to Rose that she would like to see her and Emmett, and then she packs for Prague - mostly the clothing she thinks of as her armor because she bought it and wears it exclusively for seeing her family. It’s all timeless styles because she doesn’t have the energy to maintain the wardrobe she used to.

(Apparently a broken heart sucks all the joy out of those things she used to love. But she’s started designing again, started drawing up patterns, so maybe this is just a new era.)

It’s before dawn when she leaves, but there aren’t any neighbours to spy or gossip. She’s the only property on this road. It’s a village that’s slowly disappearing, as the residents die off. She’s treated with indifference, as a foreigner in a town full of people who have known each other for the best part of a century.

//

Rose and Emmett find her in Prague, sitting at a coffee shop with tea in front of her, and Rosalie is genuinely pleased to see her sister again. Alice is a contradiction in every single way Rose can think of; somehow the most steady and consistent of them all whilst being a whirlwind of possibility. Emmett once compared cornering Alice to herding cats, but Rosalie has always privately thought it would be more like catching a hummingbird blindfolded.

But this is not that version of Alice. Emmett has always said that the worst thing was that day she sat down on the couch next to him, rigid and blank. That he never knew how much energy and effort she put into being Alice until it wasn’t worth it to her anymore.

“I guess we should be grateful she didn’t wasn't mad enough to become a supervillain or join the Volturi or something.” Emmett had carelessly said that in the family meeting after she left for France, and it had started an argument big enough to go down in the family’s history.

But Rosalie never forgot it because Emmett was right. If Alice had ever had a taste for doling out consequences and vengeance, she could have brought hell down around them. Hell, Rosalie would probably have encouraged her.

Perhaps this was better though; this calm but guarded monolith of a woman - Rosalie had spoken to Jasper when he returned with the financial records from France, and Alice’s appearance and behaviour had shaken some modicum of realization into him, that this wasn't going to be like every single other time. Rose hadn’t been particularly sympathetic, and pointed out that it had taken Alice sixty years to grow a spine and walk away.

Jasper hadn’t spoken to her for two weeks. Something about Alice now had cut Jasper to the bone, and maybe that was more satisfying than burning everything to the ground.

Alice looks well, her eyes a toffee shade, and her outfit is perfectly on point for the early winter’s day, in shades of black and grey - it just doesn’t look like something she would have worn back in Forks. Rose’s lilac winter coat looks almost childish against Alice’s outfit.

She’s missed her sister.

“Rose!” The smile on Alice’s face is genuine, and she rises to hug her, and then Emmett.

//

Alice is clearly not happy to be blindsided by Jasper and Carlisle’s arrival on the third day, but they move past it. They fill their days together with museums and shopping, Emmett doing a lot of the heavy lifting to fill in silences - especially when Esme pushes a little too hard.

When Carlisle and Jasper do arrive, there is no displeasure expressed, none of the dramatics Rosalie herself would have indulged in. Alice greets them both sweetly; no hugs, but with a quasi warmth in her voice. As the day progresses, not once does Alice make a pointed comment, a little jab in Jasper’s direction, an underhanded joke at her husband’s (oh, Rose has to stop thinking of them like that) behaviour. But this version of Alice, it’s impossible to guess what she’s thinking as they make their way through galleries and museums. There are no lingering looks, no longing gazes, and by the end of the day Rosalie has decided that her sister is behaving like a fucking airline hostess without even a glimmer of independent thought.

(Jasper behaves too, it must be said. He’s very polite, maintains all of Alice’s boundaries in their conversations, and doesn’t even try to touch her. Rose wonders if that’s one of the reasons Alice is dressed in layer upon layer of winter clothing; so that if Jasper reaches out, he still won't be able to hold her.)

It’s not until after the orchestral performance that it all goes to shit because Carlisle really cannot help but champion Edward at every possible moment, as if the harmony they’ve achieved this visit is the foundation for a return to the status quo and not the new world that frankly Rosalie and Esme have worked fucking hard to get to with Alice. But then Carlisle hasn’t been the one gently luring Alice back into contact with cautious emails and texts.

“I understand that this will be controversial,” Carlisle says, as they sit on the balcony of the penthouse Esme has optimistically purchased. It does need a lot of work, and it’s a nice project, but if Alice lives anywhere nearby, she’ll relocate now. “But Bella gave me this to pass along to you.”

Alice’s face goes blank as Carlisle slides the envelope across the table and for a split-second, so quick that Rosalie thinks she might have imagined it, she sees the hurt on Alice’s face at the sudden comprehension that this visit has been hijacked into an attempt at reconciliation.

Rosalie doesn’t even need to look at Jasper; she can feel the anger rolling off him like heat.

“You can return it to her.” Alice’s voice is firm as she slides the letter back towards Carlisle.

“Alice, I understand your anger and I support you making your own way, but both Edward and Bella miss you terribly. We all do. It’s not the same without you around,” Carlisle says earnestly, and Rosalie is fascinated by the reactions of the family - Jasper’s glaring at Carlisle with a look that could kill; Emmett looks dejected at the inevitable blow-up of their visit; Esme is staring at the table top looking upset. “Bella wants to make amends; I know she hopes you’ll be at the wedding in the summer. I promised Bella I would see that you received the letter.”

Alice nods, but her face is guarded as she stares at the letter before picking it up; Jasper flinches like he’s going to take it from her but steadies himself when she looks over.

No one is surprised when the evening ends shortly afterwards; Carlisle is visibly disappointed that Alice doesn’t open the letter in front of them, and the ease of her departure, claiming a red-eye flight back to wherever she’s been holed up (knowing Alice, there will be three separate flights under two different identities so that they can’t find her. There’s always been that streak of paranoia in her sister, one that Carlisle and Jasper both blamed on her nomadic years alone and Rosalie secretly blamed on how many people had let Alice down.)

Rosalie is the only one not surprised when, as Alice walks towards the door with her suitcase in tow, she pauses to rip the envelope in half and then quarters before tossing it in the garbage.

They all stand in silence as the door closes behind her, and Esme whirls around on Carlisle instantly, looking furious.

“She would already know what it said.” Jasper stops the argument in its tracks and Rosalie is grateful; there’s something about watching Esme and Carlisle argue that makes the world feel like it’s off its axis. “She probably saw Bella write it.”

// The invitation feels like an obscenity in front of her. It’s also tacky as fuck. Edward Mason Cullen & Isabella Marie Swan invite you to celebrate their marriage…

She was still invited to their fucking wedding after she binned Bella’s letter. Edward had left a voice mail after that, and it was one of those times she wanted to strangle her brother, to get him to understand that sometimes apologies weren’t enough. Sometimes the damage was too great to rebuild. He’d told her how disappointed he was that she hadn’t accepted Bella’s olive branch.

(Maybe she’d dashed off a text, asking Edward if he’d read the stupid fucking letter. If he knew that Bella’s jumbled thoughts boiled down to her trying to find any way possible to achieve eternal life - or restless death - and stay at Edward’s side forever no matter what the collateral damage was. We can fix this, Bella had written earnestly, as if Alice were equally responsible for the wreckage Bella wrought. Edward had just asked her to consider responding, and she’d blocked him for a week in response.)

When she holds the invitation up, she lets the visions slip into place.

If she accepts, a blue dress so dark its nearly black. More revealing that she would have thought, but with thin straps elaborately criss-crossed across her back, like a net. Charlie Swan is surprised and pleased to see her, and makes some awkward comments that Bella had said they’d fallen out before Alice left. Renee appears, introducing herself and urging Alice to go upstairs and greet Bella, that Bella will be overjoyed Alice chose to attend.

There is a look of confusion and concern when Alice’s ice cold response, “I’ll see the bride after the ceremony,” finds its target. Perhaps she pointedly sits on the groom’s side in the far corner, as far away from Bella’s side as possible.

After the ceremony, photographs. She excuses herself after two - one with the Swans and Cullens, and one with just the Cullens. She pretends not to hear the photographer suggest one of all the women together and stalks off to the reception. Carmen and Eleazer greet her, they speak. She finds a table in a dark corner, and watches proceedings from there. A few Forks High students find her, clearly looking for gossip, and she offers them just enough for Jessica and Angela to side-eye Bella and Jasper for the rest of the night. Petty but satisfying.

Jasper finds her just before the cake cutting, and takes a seat opposite her. And then it blurs and they’re in the woods together, pressed against a tree as he fumbles for his belt and gathers up the skirt of her dress and that jolts her right out of the vision, tossing the invitation onto the table and stalking into the living room, irritation practically rolling off her.

It’s not set in stone - nothing is - but she feels oddly sick that the wedding is going to make her so bitter, so angry, so raw. She’s not sure if what she’s found is peace or apathy, but it’s so much easier than how she was before that giving it up feels like she’s betraying herself and every single moment of the last four years.

[corrosivesaints]

Prompt: calling them a petname to try and comfort them, but only succeeding in upsetting them more at the reminder of what they can’t have

Pairing: CrozBrady

this is sooo devious, the way this blatantly encouraged me to torture brady even more >:-) my beautiful princess with so many disorders. this IS canon to 'your girl of the year'/infidelity fic verse-it takes place later in the timeline, closer to Mlle ZigZig being shot down :)))) they are soooo. delusional about how this will end. my lovelies.

***

The problem, John thinks, isn’t precisely that it’s a weakness, but that he doesn’t feel very sorry about it. Or he does, but not enough. Not in the way he should, the way God wants him to. It’s hard to feel regret, when you keep snatching life from Death’s claws, when you’re on the ground and you’re alive. 

Another successful mission–victorious in that he got his boys home, not in how they’d had to call salvo on the run, turning tail with Jerry too close on their heels, the planes biting and snarling gunfire. And here he was, with jittery adrenaline crashing through his veins, and the stiffness in his hands from clutching the yoke too tight. Then, making sure his boys are all accounted for, and sitting through interrogation, and finally standing outside, dazed and blinking in the fading twilight like a newborn lamb. Men are brushing past him, off to shower or eat, shoulders hunched in exhaustion, sharing cigarettes or a joke for the gallows. 

“John?” It’s Harry, appearing at his side in that startling way he does now, because he’s not on his crew anymore, swapped out to lead them all from Blakely’s plane. He’s wide eyed from nerves, a fine tremor in his hands that means he’ll crash in an hour or two, drop like a stone and sleep for 12 hours. This last mission was rough. John can feel the phantom throb in the back of his mouth from grinding his teeth for so long. 

“Harry.” His brain feels soupy, wrung out and abused. Harry blinks at him, makes an aborted gesture and catches himself in time. John is suddenly, painfully aware of every hurt and ache of his worn out body, of every presence around them, and of every mission he has left. Harry seems to be realizing the same thing. He twitches minutely, swivels those worried eyes right back to him. 

“30 minutes,” Harry says. Old refrain, a song and dance they’ve perfected over the last few months. John nods. Harry slips away, and he follows the dark curl of his head until he’s lost in the crowd. Somehow, he manages to choke down a few mouthfuls of food and do a perfunctory wash up. Tomorrow, when his nerves aren’t stretched so thin, he’ll shower and eat properly. Throwing his flight jacket back on–he feels better with it keeping him warm–it’s easy to sneak off to one of the forgotten supply sheds at the edge of the base. He sits for a long few minutes, hands in his pockets to warm them up after hours in the cold sky, and bounces one leg up and down in the half-forgotten melody of a song he heard at the O-Club last week. Harry pokes his head around the door a little while later, long enough that John’s brain is getting snappish and cross from the exhaustion weighing him down. 

“Hey,” he says softly, getting into his lap without any preamble, a reassuring weight as he holds John so tight he thinks his ribs will creak from the force. Not that John isn’t holding him with any less white-knuckled apprehension. He smells like the sky, cool and metallic and a bit like rain. Inhuman smells, not Harry at all, who uses that stupid pomade for his curly hair, or has graphite on his hands all the time, or who frequently tastes like their terrible coffee rations. But he is alive. He buries his face in Harry’s shoulder and tries very, very hard not to think about how the flak had sounded, or the banshee wail a B-17 made when it was in a free fall and burning up. 

“I can’t keep counting the ‘chutes,” Harry whispers after a minute, voice cracked and raw. John doesn’t know what to say. Words are trite, inadequate. He kept getting them all home, but more and more boys laid their bones in the soil of Germany or France each time. Harry’s not good with taking a failure, and a dead crew is the worst type. John turns his head so he can press a kiss to the soft skin of Harry’s throat, closed-mouthed and chaste, and the gesture undoes him at once. He shudders, makes a noise that John can’t parse is good or bad, and goes limp. He’s heavy but John doesn’t mind, would rather sit here for hours and let his legs go numb and let his world spiral down to just the sound of their breathing than be apart. If only it was possible to open himself up, or Harry, part the rib cage and nestle in the warm cavity there, away from everything and everyone. 

And that’s the problem, he remembers. As the months pass it’s getting more and more challenging to feel remorse about any of it: wanting Harry and stealing him away from Jean, failing to admit it in confession, and the fact that it’s all a sin. God has to be cruel, to put this splinter of covetous desire in his heart and let it fester. John Brady has wanted so little throughout his life, and this being one thing he yearns for the most strikes him as less of a test and more of a punishment. A purgatory that he doesn’t even want to leave. 

“Harry,” he says, kissing him again. His pulse is rabbit-fast as it always is after a mission. Harry breathes, slow and deep, and says, “Johnny, I can’t,” unable or unwilling to finish the sentence, and he doesn’t know what Harry means: it could be the war or it could be them and this tenuous connection they keep feeding into. Neither option is good, but they need their lead navigator if they’re going to survive. John Brady doesn’t need Harry Crosby. 

“You should focus on the missions,” he suggests softly, “You can’t afford distractions.”

Harry shifts to peer at him curiously.

“You’re not a distraction.” Which is a kind sentiment, but John isn’t a complete fool. “John.” Harry takes his face in his hands so he’s forced to maintain eye contact. “You’re the only thing that keeps me from flying off the handle some days, you know that right?”

He didn’t.

“Oh,” Harry murmurs at whatever expression is on his face, “sweetheart.” And that’s the other problem: he’s too goddamn nice. John’s all sharp edges these days and if it phases Harry, makes him upset or discomforts him, he never shows it. He forces his eyes shut because if Harry keeps looking at him like that he’s going to do something really, truly stupid. Something he can’t ever take back, such as asking him to stay, or even saying, You help me feel grounded, too. It’s not his place, it would be disrespecting everything Harry and Jean promised each other. 

“John, darling,” he repeats, laying one kiss to the side of his mouth. He should tell him to knock it off. It’s the same problem over and over: John comes to heel like a pathetic dog every time Harry so much as glances in his direction.

“Maybe we should stop.” The words feel like they’re being dragged out of him with sharp hooks. Harry jerks back so fast he nearly falls over, only saved by John grabbing him tighter. Harry’s face is pale and his eyes are wild at the edges in a way that concerns him, that speaks of post-mission fatigue and bad decisions. 

“Do–” Harry goes very still, which is unusual for him. “Are you calling it quits, Johnny?”

That’s not fair, he nearly snaps. He doesn’t have a normal marriage as his out, waiting patiently for him. He doesn’t have anything, he’s put it all on the line and he can’t fucking take it anymore. His anger must be bleeding through, showing up on his face, because Harry gets off his lap–and the loss of him sends an unexpected pang through his chest–and kneels beside him, taking one hand in his own, staring up at him so seriously, a penitent saint.

“John,” he says slowly, “I’ll walk away, if that’s what you want.”

“But you don’t want to.”

Harry grimaces, but remains resolute. “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me lying.”

Damn him, he was right. John stares down at their joined hands, works to formulate an excuse, a defense, anything at all, his brain overworked and overtired. This is a turning point, he’s not too exhausted that he can’t see that. He could say, I’m done, and put it all to rest. Save his immortal soul–and his heart–and get his fucking head on straight, which he needs more than ever. Mlle ZigZig has finished over half her missions. They might make it, might defy the odds after all. He just might see the shores of America again, which feels so distant it’s a dream. A mirage, compared to Harry, who is right next to him and painfully alive, who wants him, with his warm hands holding John’s own. 

He doesn’t know what to say. 

“Have you eaten?” Harry asks, breaking him out of his uncertain, looping thoughts. 

“Yeah,” he lies, not up for another lecture. Harry doesn’t eat before missions and John hardly eats at all before or after, too keyed up to keep much more than a few cups of coffee down. Unfortunately for him, Harry’s gotten skilled at spotting his bullshit.

“I think we should table this,” Harry suggests cautiously, “until tomorrow.”

“No.”

“John,” he sighs. 

“You gave me a choice, so let me decide, goddammit.” The words come out sharp, and a small part of him is horrified at the tone. This is going all wrong–more pear shaped than a scrubbed mission, the opportunity slipping through his fingers like sand. He has to salvage this. He cups Harry’s face in one hand, his cheeks still a bit flushed and cold from the flight, and leans down to kiss him. They both need a shave, and Harry’s hair is growing past regulation, and he’s so goddamn tired and his back hurts hunched over like this and he doesn’t care. John Brady is a creature of want. This is a sin. He doesn’t care. 

Harry follows him when he pulls back, nearly in his lap again, mouth pink and perfect. His hands are hot where they rest on John’s thighs, and it would be a kind of purity to be touched by him, stripped down until he’s nothing more than a man. Harry kisses him urgently, with teeth, riding the falling crest of his adrenaline high. They’ll both be too tired to do anything but sleep, soon. 

“Okay, John,” Harry laughs lightly, laying a kiss to the side of his jaw, right at the tender juncture where it folds into his neck. John shivers. “I gotta stand, or I’ll cramp right up.” His knees crack when he does, John winces in sympathy. 

“I’m glad I didn’t have to count your ‘chutes today,” Harry admits quietly, face turning somber. John sways forward so he can rest his head against his belly and breathe in the smell of human sweat and laundry soap, grounding scents that remind him he’s not in the clouds anymore. Harry sighs, runs a light hand through his hair. John doesn’t say that he wouldn’t let that happen, because he doesn’t make false promises, especially not to Harry. 

“I was serious about dinner, by the way.” 

“Five minutes,” John says, not moving. Five minutes more will get him through the night, and the next day, and the next, until the next mission when they have to do it all over again. John Brady is good at bargains, he’s been asking God for them since June. Harry exhales, rests his hand at the nape of his neck, where the skin is soft and sensitive, a place nobody but him has touched.

“Five minutes,” he agrees.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Sketchbook Week Day 6 - Feast For The Eyes

Summary: Johanna is a cake artist who makes the most beautiful cakes in town. One day, she meets a new client who sounds a lot less certain about what she wants than she would have liked to be. And not just about her cake order, unfortunately.

Notes: Written for the @sketchbookweek day 6 prompt - Artist

Though tbh at one point this begins sounding like it was written for sun/moon. I promise it wasn’t, idk what happened (jk I do know. I got carried away by the fact that I dyed the docs in which I wrote this a pastel yellow and the symbolism and association got away from me)

Read it on ao3

They say you eat with your eyes first.

The saying had never made a lot of sense to Kaisa, to whom a frozen meal was the extent of her abilities in the kitchen. Food was just a way to keep her body up and moving, an obligation for when her hands started shaking and she felt grumpy all of sudden. If she stretched it, she could even go as far as saying that it was an excuse to spend time with the people she loved.

But this. This wasn’t food. Not like Kaisa knew it.

This was art.

The cake shop had been recommended to her by her wedding planner, and now she hadn’t a clue how she hadn’t heard about it before. Just looking at the showcase from the sidewalk had her gasping, and walking inside made her actually scared she’d damage some of those cakes just by existing near them. Kaisa was surrounded by piping work that flourished into almost realistic flowers, carved modelling chocolate figures that could very well have been found inside a toy store, tempered chocolate sculptures she was certain an engineer would have a hard time making. That was to say nothing of the colours, the drawings, the rice paper details, and the sheer height of some of the cakes she was looking at.

Yes, this would be it. Their cake would have to come from this shop, because Kaisa was sure nobody else would be able to do a better job of it. Whatever she ordered would be the best, and that was just perfect because the best was exactly what her bride deserved.

Adeline was already being put through the hardship of marrying her, after all.

The last drop for Kaisa was when she saw a cake that simply acted as if gravity was a mere detail it could ignore, with it’s icing covered in perfectly piped flowers and weeds and a watering can on top of it raining down ‘water’ upon the garden of buttercream, like it was being held by an invisible hand.

“Shut up!” She whispered to herself as she inspected the cake much closer than she probably should, trying to find the structure that was holding it up for the sake of her own sanity, but to no avail. Her soul damn nearly jumped out of her body when she heard someone chuckle behind her. She’d been so enthralled by the cakes that the thought to check if there was anyone by the counter hadn’t even occurred to her.

Kaisa jumped away from the cake - it felt like being caught red handed even if she had just been looking - and turned in the direction the chuckle had come from. It had indeed come from behind the glass counter, inside of which there were even more cake models. A woman stood there, gazing at her with amusement twinkling in her eyes. Mortifyingly, Kaisa’s first instinct was to say something extremely rude like ‘get out of here!’. She didn’t, of course, but she was beginning to feel like she’d stepped into some sort of cake wonderland. There was no way that woman was real. With her kind warm eyes and perfect auburn curls, skin rosy and peppered with the odd freckle, apron smeared with icing and buttercream of different colours making her look like a walking rainbow. Not to mention that her height made Kaisa feel small, not like a mouse or a bug but more like a queen’s loyal subject.

There was no way this woman was real. She looked more like a fairy, or maybe an angel than like a human being. And yet, she fit perfectly inside the cake shop, like she was the ultimate creation inside of it.

“Like what you see?” The woman asked with a smile, and of course, of course, her voice sounded like honey and warm chocolate ganache. Kaisa would deny it to her grave, but she blushed deeply at the question, terrified for a couple of mortifying seconds that she’d been caught staring at the woman’s beauty - while on the hunt for a wedding cake, of all things - before realising that she’d been looking at the cakes.

“Oh, yes!” She amended as quickly as she could, knowing that the moments of stretched silence weren’t ideal and that she’d been at fault for letting them exist at all. “These are - I’d say impressive, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. Like, wow. I can screw up a box mix cake, so you can imagine what looking at these feels like to me.”

It seemed to have been enough to remedy her awkwardness, because the angel at the counter smiled at her. Encouraged, Kaisa continued, stepping closer since she supposed it was generally what you did when you had to talk to another person. Even if that meant feeling the effect of that so very warm gaze even more strongly. Certainly that was why her face was heating up.

“Seriously, I have no idea how come I had never heard about this place before. Though it probably has something to do with never leaving my house.” She was fully aware that she was rambling by now, but the angel’s smile never dimmed. “My compliments to the chef, or whatever it is I’m supposed to say. Tell them that if they decided to credit their talent to some divine miracle I’d be more inclined to become religious, or something.”

At that, the other woman threw her head back and laughed, and fuck Kaisa had been right. She hadn’t been to church since she was very young, but that had to be what a heavenly choir sounded like. There was a single beam of direct sunshine making it through the trees on the sidewalk and the cakes in the showcase, and it hit the angel across the face making her brown irises shine with golden specks. Kaisa was reasonably sure she wasn’t making it out of this cake shop alive.

Except she was, because she was in love with someone else. That was enough for her. It should be enough for her.

“Message delivered.” Said the angel with a quirk to her lips. Kaisa blinked.

“What, this quickly?”

When a raised eyebrow was all the answer she got, Kaisa entertained the possibility of melting into a puddle of goo. Slamming her forehead on the glass counter also felt like a viable option, though she could see the merits in simply running away as well.

“Ugh, sorry. I’m not generally this much of a mess.” A lie, clearly, but the angel didn’t need to know that. “It’s just nerves, I guess. So you’re the owner of this shop?”

Extending one hand towards Kaisa, the woman smiled again, and she’d have to stop that, she’d really have to stop that because otherwise Kaisa might just drop her heart by her feet. There was flour and some other colourful smudges on her hand, but the librarian paid it no mind as she took the handshake.

“Yes, I am! I’m Johanna, it’s a pleasure to meet you. How can I help?”

“I need a cake.”

She was proud of herself for not saying something like ‘the pleasure is all mine’ (no way she’d be able to make herself sound not so bizarrely sincere saying that) and to even be able to speak at all after getting a name for the angel. Johanna. It was fitting. Warm. Reminded her of apple picking in the autumn. She was not, however, proud that she’d told the cake baker, in a cake shop that she needed a cake. It reminded her of all the patrons who had ever come to her to say they needed a book (in the library, to the librarian) and had earned an eye roll from her. Johanna, however, only nodded.

“Just to eat, or decorated as well?”

It surprised Kaisa that there was even a choice. She would never have thought to offend the woman’s artistic skills by just wanting to eat one of her cakes.

“Decorated, I suppose. It’s for, uh, it’s for my wedding.”

There was a long pause. Johanna’s smile seemed frozen for a second, and then it widened into a grin. Happy for her, of course she was. Why would a stranger feel at all disappointed that she was getting married? Or, an even better question, why would Kaisa care?

“Oh, congratulations! I suppose you’ll want a custom design, then?”

Will she? Kaisa had no idea, she just knew she’d been put on cake duty and was trying to do a moderately decent job of it. She was willing to trust absolutely anything the woman in front of her told her about it, though, so she just nodded.

“Yep. That’s about right. We’ll have about fifty guests, I guess.” Not that Kaisa even knew that many people. She’d invited her mother, sister, and best friend. Also her bosses, even if they sucked. Best to not let them know she hated them, and all that. The rest of them were all Adeline’s, seeing as her extended family all kept in contact with each other and their community was actually knit very tightly. Kaisa was happy for her, of course, but she didn’t really look forward to an evening of being introduced to people whose names she’d forget not a minute later. “I know that and our favourite cake flavours. I was hoping you’d be able to help me with the rest of the details.”

Though she’d almost been expecting to be called an idiot and told to come back when she had a clue about what she wanted, Johanna merely nodded. “Alright! Well, generally for custom designs I like to sit down with my clients for us to come up with the cake together. If that’s fine by you, you could come back - tomorrow, maybe? - and we could go over some ideas. I’m afraid I can’t be of help right now since one of my employees had an emergency so I’ve been having to double as a cashier today.”

“Oh, no worries.” I’ll see her tomorrow too! “That’s understandable.”

Johanna flashed her a grateful smile. “Why don’t you take our catalogue with some of the cakes we’ve made? Maybe it’ll help you know what you would - and wouldn’t - like.”

After she accepted the offer, Johanna crouched down and rose back up holding a small booklet that looked just a little worse for the wear. Kaisa thanked her for her time and wished her good luck getting through her short staffed day, and left with an appointment for tomorrow morning while decidedly not thinking about how she’d felt like she’d been hit by a jolt of electricity when their fingers brushed when she took the booklet.

…......

Kaisa let herself plop down on the couch of her dim one bedroom apartment. Technically, she’d been living at Adeline’s for a couple of weeks now. Most of her stuff was there already. But she hadn’t been able to make herself put her flat up for sale. Adele never questioned it, of course. Sweetheart that she was, she wouldn’t poke at Kaisa for something that brought her comfort, especially since that thing was the first home she bought for herself. Still, Kaisa felt the need to rationalise it. To tell herself she was waiting for a good opportunity. That maybe they’d find an use for a flat even though her future wife had her own house. That it was simply a fruit of her resistance to change that made her cling to the place she’d lived in for the better part of a decade. She rationalised if, because she was running from what she knew to be the truth.

That she was having second thoughts, that some part of her wished she’d never moved out at all.

It was far too early for this, Kaisa thought with a groan. This kind of doom thought pattern was reserved exclusively for after nine p.m. and the sun wasn’t even down, yet. She dragged herself around, making groaning sounds worthy of a low budget zombie movie, and forced herself into the shower. Any hopes of the hot water helping her to feel anything that wasn’t hollow were washed away alongside the dirt of the day (and flour, and buttercream), and she stepped out of her stall with her skin red from the heat.

Some of her comfort items had remained at the apartment, vestiges of a moment of sudden genius and self awareness when she’d been packing her stuff. She’d known she’d be back, and she’d known she’d be back when she needed those things the most. So Kaisa put on her fluffiest, worn down pyjamas and grabbed some of her plushies, dropping them by the couch on her way to the kitchen. After brewing herself a hibiscus tea, which she brought along to the living room, it was finally dark outside. So not yet nine, but late enough to feel sorry about herself, she supposed.

It used to be so much easier. She loved Adeline, she genuinely did. The woman had been her closest friend (considering Kaisa’s other friend and her antisocial tendencies, she’d really been Kaisa’s best option) for years, since they were studying Library Sciences together. They’d been by each other’s side all throughout the process of getting their first jobs, Kaisa at the municipal library and Adeline as a city hall archivist. It had been her arms that had held her through the hardest spots of her life, and her smile that she’d been faced with whenever she had good news.

Adeline was the funniest person she knew. The woman was kind and patient without a fault, and her excitement could light up entire cities. She was trustworthy, reliable, and understanding. Kaisa had absolutely no qualms whatsoever about the fact that she wanted her nearby her entire life.

So why did she feel like she was walking towards her execution?

She’d been the one to pop the question. She had kneeled before Adeline during a dinner at her favourite restaurant and asked if she’d have her hand. Yet now she counted the days with looming dread. The fluttery feeling in her belly weren’t butterflies, and she had no idea what to do about it.

Adeline was perfect. But since the reality of til death do us part had begun sinking in, Kaisa had begun to wonder if she was right for her.

Dating was one thing. They were young, still, and dating someone you don’t really have chemistry with was normal. To be expected, really. You tell yourself that either it will show up, or that you’ll both eventually find someone whose edges fit yours perfectly. But they were getting older, slowly but surely, and Kaisa couldn’t think of a single good reason to leave such a good woman, and neither did she want to put off an event she wanted to happen in her life, so why not? It had seemed not only like a good idea, but like a logical progression. It should not be eating away at her heart like it was.

Kaisa feels rotten for it. She was lucky enough to have found such an amazing person who actually puts up with her. It was beyond selfish to expect some sort of chemistry as well. She didn’t even know what that was, or what she’d been expecting. That whole sparks flying and heart stopping thing only happened in movies and fanfiction (heavens knew she’d written and read her fair share). Love in the real world was a choice. One she’d keep making every day until one day, hopefully, she actually deserved to be called Adeline’s wife.

The cake store’s booklet all but glared at her from where she’d left it at the coffee table. Like a fool drinking water to stop themselves from drowning, she picked it up.

…......

Kaisa showed up at the cake shop the following day, this time with an appointment and an actual idea of what she’d like. The cakes were no less impressive at a second glance, so it took her a second to orient herself once inside the baking paradise and realise that the face behind the counter was a new one.

“Hello!” Chirped the man, tall and lean with brown skin and long, slick, almost greyish black hair. “How may I help you?”

The unexpectedness of having to deal with someone other than who she’d come here to see gave her pause for a few seconds. The man was kind, though, and his face was carefully blank as he waited for Kaisa to gather her bearings. Eventually, she managed.

“I’m here to see Johanna?” She sounded way less certain than someone who had scheduled a meeting should. “She’s going to help me with a cake.”

The man raised his eyebrows in understanding, and gestured for her to come behind the counter. “Oh, she told me to expect you! Kaisa, is it?”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m Raven. Nice to meet you, miss, she’s waiting for you in the resting room. Past this door to the right.”

Following his instructions, Kaisa allowed herself further inside the bakery, past a wooden door that opened up two other options: forward into what was clearly the kitchen, since the double doors that guarded it didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling nor all the way down to the floor, allowing Kaisa a peep of the warm colours inside, and of the tops of towering stacked cakes. That, combined with the scent of clover and cinnamon and the clatter of pans was explanation enough. The other option was the one she’d been instructed to take, and she did, knocking on the door to the left, white paint peeling slightly at the bottom, before poking her head inside.

True to Raven’s word, Johanna was indeed inside and sitting at a wooden table. She opened a radiant smile to Kaisa as soon as her mind processed who she was seeing, and immediately got up to greet her properly.

Which was warmly, apparently. Everything Johanna did was so bright that Kaisa half wondered if the way her skin was feeling hot in her presence was just the beginning of a first degree burn. The baker got her to sit down on one of the other softly worn down chairs at the table, which made Kaisa realise just how homey their resting room was. There was a couch, also somewhat worn, and a couple of shelves with folders and recipe books. Pictures all around the walls, as well, a few showcasing cakes, but most of them being just Johanna with her staff. Two stood out as being the bigger ones; one of those seemed to be the shop’s opening day, a selfie that caught both the bakery’s front and the smiling faces of Johanna, Raven, and another man she hadn’t yet seen (but had heard his rattling about in the kitchen), with curly dark brown hair falling over most of his face and covering his features. The other one was a portrait of a single person. A young girl, blue hair tied back in pigtails, gap toothed and wearing a brown sweater that was entirely too big for her. She was looking at the camera - or, more likely, whoever had been behind it - with adoration.

“My daughter.” The baker said when she noticed Kaisa staring at the picture, and the librarian hastily turned to her to apologise for prying, but didn’t even get so as she was instantly faced with Johanna’s proud smile. “She’s at a friend’s house right now, but you could have caught her. She likes hanging around bothering Tontu or asking Raven questions.”

Kaisa tried to return her smile, but it was virtually impossible to do so, at least when you were her. The lopsided thing she offered could never have the thousands-of-gigawatts-generating power that Johanna’s had.

“She looks lovely.” Kaisa said, knowing in her bones that no one who had been raised by the woman in front of her could be anything but. Her heart squeezed a bit as she thought about a young person following her mother and friends around, all bright curiosity and eager gasps.

Adeline didn’t want children. They’d had this conversation, of course, and Adeline had stated that fact without any doubt whatsoever, and Kaisa had stuttered and assured her that the same went for her. And it did. Kaisa knew she wasn’t competent enough to be trusted with a child. It was fine. There was no reason to be acting weird about it.

“So-” Johanna said after thanking her and narrowly avoiding going on a rant about her daughter’s virtues to the new client, producing a notebook out of thin air. “Tell me, what do you have in mind?”

Not even trying to pretend she knew what she was talking about, Kaisa began listing off her ideas in the hope that Johanna’s expert mind could shift them into something doable. Even that was made harder by the fact that the angel kept staring at her throughout the entire explanation, though. She’d have had an easier time if her gaze had shifted to the notebook at least once, but it must be her modus operandi to give her clients her full attention, at least for that first part.

By the end, what they had was an idea about the flavours (tiers of chocolate and coffee for Kaisa, and others of almond and milk cream for Adeline), the decision of not having a shorter cake that was actually to eat and a taller cake that was just for show and simply decorating the smaller one, and that said decoration should include stuff that was reminiscent of the two of them.

What said “stuff” included, however, was a much harder question to answer. One which luckily Johanna seemed experienced in since she expertly stopped Kaisa from spiralling into a panic about not knowing what could even be said about her and her fiancee.

“What are you two like? Personality wise, I mean.” She prompted gently, and thinking about that was a lot more straightforward than trying to come up with symbols that represented them. That Kaisa could do.

“Oh, Adele’s intelligent and sweet.” She said with ease. Listing Adeline’s merits came as easy to her as reciting a poem. For all her anxiety, there were few people she’d even dare to compare to her bride. “She has so much energy, and for someone so nerdy and with supposedly boring interests, she has a ton of friends. Suppose she’s just likeable like that. Enjoys going out with them, being outdoors. I’m-” a miserable, lonely bastard. “- more introverted. I only really talk to a handful of people, and she’s one of them. She doesn’t tire me like most people do.”

Johanna had been watching her throughout her explanation, her smile growing bigger. She had one of those smiles that made her eyes look smaller when it pulled up her cheeks.

“Oh, you’re like the sun and the moon!”

The affirmation gave Kaisa a stop. It made sense, didn’t it? Yet the more she thought about it, the less it seemed to fit. It wasn’t that… well matched between them, she supposed. Which was just as well, she didn’t need that sort of thing. Sure, Adeline was a ray of sunshine, but for some reason, it felt wrong to give a meaning like that to what they had. Like it could put too much pressure on their bond and make it break when it couldn’t live up to the expectation.

Maybe they were a sun and a moon, but Kaisa didn’t feel like they belonged in the same system. She didn’t feel like they even belonged in the same galaxy.

Which was fine. They were the best of friends. They worked well together. No ill aligned stars made a single difference when it came to that. They were fine.

“I don’t think I’m romantic enough to go making these associations.” She answered at last, because explaining what was actually going on inside her head to the poor baker was not within the realm of possibility.

“You never know! The right person might awaken a side of you that you never knew existed.” She cooed, her smile turning compassionate. “But if it’s worth anything, I don’t go out much, either. Not many friends, other than Tontu and Raven.”

She blinked. It was worth something. A lot, really. Though she insisted she’d outgrown those insecurities, it still felt like a personal failure that her social life was virtually non-existent. But if Johanna was in the same situation, maybe she’d missed a memo and having few friends and staying home was what cool people were doing these days.

“What, you? Really?” She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice. “I would have guessed you had a line of people waiting to get to listen to you.”

Dial it down, her mind screamed at her, her mouth snapping shut as she processed how inappropriate she’d just been. That’s way too fucking much.

The angel blushed, making Kaisa worried she’d made her uncomfortable for a moment. If that was the case, she’d simply be left no choice other than to drown herself in the nearest body of water, unfortunately. No forgiveness for hurting a divine being, she supposed. But then the woman opened up a different type of smile, one that spoke of gratefulness and shyness at the same time, timid and leaning more to one side than the other.

It was just as beautiful in Kaisa’s eyes.

“Not many people think a single mother is the height of fun, I’m afraid.”

Kaisa’s heart skipped a beat when that sunk in.

Oh.

“Their loss.” In a rare moment of clarity, Kaisa just stated that and shrugged. She hadn’t a lot of experience with that sort of situation, but she figured that Johanna must have received far too much pity and fake sympathy which she didn’t need. Kaisa wasn’t going to add to that.

She didn’t catch the way Johanna stared at her in something akin to awe for a split second, but she did notice it when the baker made her attempt to get back on track, shaking her head and putting on her best customer service voice once more.

“Anyhow. Maybe we could focus on what you have in common, then!”

Kaisa sagged against her chair. “Well, we both like books-”

…......

Kaisa goes straight to her mother’s, after that, because it’s Saturday and she doesn’t have another excuse to not go back to Adeline’s house. It should be their house, now, but it didn’t feel like it. And she knew she’d only feel tainted if she dared to go in, look at her bright eyes and accept whatever she’d suggest as a way to pass their time, after having spent the better part of two hours pining over another woman. So she goes to Tildy instead, because the elderly’s sharp mind and quick tongue wouldn’t make her feel any better at all, not in the state she was in, but at least it wouldn’t be unfair to Adele.

It went as well as could be expected. Tildy had been cooking dinner when she arrived, and since Frida was busy with homework in her room, Kaisa put herself at her service without even having to be asked. Not that she knew what she was doing in the kitchen, that much we’ve established already, but following instructions (after decoding what Tildy meant, that is) was something she was well versed in.

That meant, of course, that she was more than close enough to her mother for her to pick up on her unease. That was made even easier by the fact that Tildy had been (literally) staring into her soul for the past few months, ever since she’d announced her plans to ask for Adeline’s hand. It confused Kaisa to no end. Her mother had always seemed to like Adele, since they were friends and also when they became girlfriends, and that much didn’t seem to have changed. Yet, at every chance, she hinted at something Kaisa truly didn’t understand.

It was off putting, after an entire life of understanding Tildy’s idiosyncrasies and oddities, to not catch the one that was aimed at her.

“Still haven’t changed your mind about a bachelorette’s, I suppose?” She asked when the quiche she’d been making was finally in the oven, after having tried to pry out of Kaisa why she looked so downcast and if everything was fine for nearly an hour.

The librarian chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, yeah. Me, my mother, my middle school aged sister, and a hyperactive weather reporter. Great party, that would be.”

Giving her a stern look that at least partly tried to convey ’I’m very fun at parties’ (which Kaisa didn’t doubt, but she truly was the only one in the list that was), Tildy scolded her. “Darling, don’t patronise yourself. You have many other friends you could invite.”

That made Kaisa openly snort, letting herself fall down to the same familiar couch where she used to read when she was a teenager.

“Such as?”

For the first time in known history, Tildy did not have an answer to that.

Kaisa went home after dinner. Her home, the little apartment that still smells like tea and lavender instead of peonies and vanilla and makes her feel incredibly lonely. She listens to cliche romance songs, and doesn’t think about her bride.

…......

For some reason, which she suspects has a lot to do with character flaws she can’t even name, Kaisa shows up at the cake shop again a few days later. She reasoned with herself that checking in on the cake’s progress was a reasonable enough excuse, even if she didn’t think she’d have the gall to just straight up ask Johanna to see what had been done so far. With her complete lack of skill in tone regulation, it would be all too easy to sound pushy if she did so.

No explanations were necessary, however. When she arrived, she didn’t come face to face with Raven, on his own in that part of the shop like she thought she would since she figured that must be his job. Instead, Raven was there, but he was looking anxiously at where Johanna and the other man she hadn’t yet personally met were carefully setting down a cake that was at least a metre high. As soon as she caught sight of what was happening, she held her breath just like all the others were doing, and a collective sigh of relief was heard when the cake was balanced perfectly on top of the stand.

“See? Told you it could hold.”

“You’re a madwoman, Johanna.”

“I appreciate the trust, Tontu.”

Raven cleared his throat loudly, causing the bickering bakers to turn to him, only to then look at Kaisa when he pointed at her and mouthed ‘client!’

The blush on Johanna’s face was entirely a result of the effort of carrying such an enormous cake, she was sure.

“Kaisa!” The woman squeaked happily. “I was just thinking about you!”

Fatal blow. Many dead, hundreds hurt, et cetera et cetera. Kaisa looked around as if anyone was going to offer her a script or at least a couple of options of what to say in that situation. Nobody was so kind, though, so she was left scrambling for something normal to say.

“You… were?” Nailed it.

“Yes!” Johanna brushed her hands against each other, making specks of powdered sugar fall to the floor. Tontu walked away to the back of the shop mumbling about cleaning the floor and something else that Kaisa didn’t get. “We were experimenting on a new pastry, and it’s your favourite flavours. A croissant with cocoa in the batter and a tiramisu inspired filling.”

Kaisa must really be a sight to behold, standing uselessly around with a huge question mark on her forehead. Johanna simply kept staring at her with that same kindness, while Raven began looking like he was pretending to not be in the same room.

“Wait, you bake?” Realising the downright idiotic question that was, she immediately amended. “I mean, beyond cakes?”

“We do!” Johanna chirped with a flourish of her hand that, Kaisa realised, was meant to point at a glass showcase in which she had never realised there were not cakes, but many different pastries. Which also brought her attention to the fact that there were chairs and tables inside the shop, which would make no sense if it were only a place to order cake in.

She really was fucking stupid, huh.

Though truth be told, she probably deserved some credit. Everybody’s vision blurred around the edges when they were staring directly at the sun. Kaisa opted for the easy way out: awful humour.

“Damn, you can decorate, you can actually bake tasty stuff, is there anything you can’t do?”

Johanna put her hands on her hips, and deadpanned with a completely straight face.

“Simple maths.”

Kaisa had no other option than to throw her head back and laugh.

“Fair enough. I’m quite useless at it too.” She admitted, thinking about how she’d been asking Victoria for help with her taxes - resulting in her having to trust that the woman wasn’t making her commit fraud, a huge risk to take - ever since she began having to pay them. “And I don’t even have the excuse of being an artist to make up for it.”

The baker’s eyes were twinkling when she looked back at her, a smile dancing on her lips. “You’re far too kind. They’re just cakes.”

As if anyone could ever be ‘far too kind’ to her. All the goodwill one could offer this woman wouldn’t be enough. An angel like her could only ever deserve more. “They’re masterpieces. You’ll do well not to insult them like that when they can hear you, it might decrease the morale around here.”

Johanna choked back a laugh, making Kaisa marvel at how her horrendous sense of humour apparently… hit its mark with this woman, somehow. Heavens knew she must be way too clever to actually think Kaisa was funny. Some traitorous brain cell offered her the thought that Adele only laughed out of politeness and affection most times, an ‘oh, Kaisa, you’re so silly’ type of sentiment. She quickly cut that synapse short.

Unexpectedly, as soon as she stopped laughing Johanna pulled up the chair that was closest to her.

“Sit down. I’ll get you one of them to taste.”

“Oh, that’s really too kind-”

“No, I insist.” The gentle tone still somehow left no room for arguing. Kaisa had the alarming realisation that she’d do anything this woman told her to. “It was, after all, inspired by your order. Just fair that you get to approve of it.”

“Oh?” Kaisa lifted her eyebrows playfully. “And what guarantees you that I’ll approve of it?”

When Johanna passed by her on her way to the other side of the counter, they couldn’t tell who was to blame for the back of their hands brushing against each other.

“Oh, you will.”

Kaisa shouldn’t have accepted the courtesy. She shouldn’t have sat down to eat it and compliment the pastry. She shouldn’t have been so glad when Johanna sat down in front of her. She shouldn’t have spent the better part of three hours talking to the woman, then. And if she did, she shouldn’t have kept noticing how extremely kind she was, and smart, and funny, and how they played off of each other in a way that made her think they’d never run out of things to talk about. And when she got up to leave, she shouldn’t have felt tempted to hug Johanna goodbye, or to brush a stray curl away from her face.

She shouldn’t. But she did anyway.

…......

Kaisa went back to the house, after all. Not their house, not her house, not even Adeline’s house. She’d taken to thinking about it as just that, the house, a miserable thing that belonged to no one and was only there to remind her of how ungrateful she was.

But that was just Kaisa, wasn’t it? Life could be a bed of roses and she’d still find a way to complain about the thorns.

Adele had been there, gentle and sweet as ever. They’d ordered in and watched a movie, and didn’t even pretend to argue over which to pick, knowing the point wasn’t really what they were watching so much as passing the time. Come morning, they had waffles for breakfast - Adeline could moderately cook - and discussed the book they’d both just finished reading.

‘Discussed’ might not be the appropriate word, however, for the conversation that involved essentially just agreeing with each other’s opinions. It hardly lasted fifteen minutes.

Which was good. It was fine. This sort of lining up of opinions meant there would hardly ever be any major disagreements in their married life.

So why was Kaisa now organising the romance books as if the tomes had personally offended her?

Ah, well. It was because they were full of drivel, of course. Ridiculous notions about there only being one way to do love right, about something as silly as destine being more important in a relationship then effort. They were pathetic. And maybe the fact that she’d read so many of them when younger was the reason why she now felt so unsure about a perfectly fine marriage.

Which she’d asked for.

One book escaped her clutches when she’d been holding it on top of the ladder, falling down with a thump to the ground; Kaisa bit her fist to stop herself from screaming in frustration. She climbed down hastily, part of her mind figuring that falling down and breaking her neck would be an easy way out of everything, to pick up the copy of Wuthering Heights.

The book had fallen cover down on the floor, falling open with the collision. The page it was in still had the pencil underlying of an uneducated borrower on one paragraph, dragging Kaisa’s eyes to it.

“He shall never know I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.”

Kaisa closed the book and shoved it in the nearest open spot, messing up the entire shelf’s organisation.

…......

The bakery’s phone number had sent Kaisa a message to let her know her order was ready to be picked up. It made her spend the entire rest of her day with a heavy heart she couldn’t explain, like this last visit was more binding than the walk down the altar would be. She was told she could arrive after leaving the library, even if it would already be after hours according to their schedule.

She almost hoped to find no one there, so she could postpone this even if just one more day. No such luck. The lights inside were dim enough that no one would mistake it for open, but bright enough to make out the shape of Johanna, sitting by herself at one of the tables with her focus on a sketchbook she was doodling on. When Kaisa rapped her knuckles on the glass door, she immediately looked up and got up with a smile to unlock the door.

The baker took her inside the kitchen, this time, which Kaisa held as an honour. Certainly she wouldn’t have been allowed into the space where all of Johanna’s passion blossomed if she hadn’t somehow proven herself trustworthy.

“You must really love what you do-” Kaisa mused out loud, not even bothering to pretend to only be there for her cake as she looked around openly at the space. “-to be this good at it.”

To her surprise, when she stopped admiring how much more of an art atelier than a kitchen the place looked and turned back to Johanna, the baker was looking at her. Or staring, more like. Her gaze was so intense that Kaisa had the impression she could physically feel it on her skin.

Which was silly, of course. But if she was helpless to do anything but step closer, well. Did anyone ever blame the planets for orbiting around the sun?

“It was a sort of therapy for me, at first.” Johanna admitted, guiding Kaisa’s gaze to a workbench that seemed to exclusively have realistic cakes which used mimicking techniques to pass for other foods and objects. “I began when I was a teenager and not in the best spot. I took to baking whenever I felt stressed.”

The woman hugged her own middle, staring down at her cakes even as Kaisa walked to her side, as if she was cold. Which Kaisa thought was insane. No one so warm should be capable of ever even feeling chilly.

“And, well, when you do something so often, you inevitably get good at it, I suppose.”

Kaisa didn’t know what to make of her forlorn voice. “You go to great lengths to avoid admitting you’re just plain great at what you do. I’ve been cooking for myself for years and I’m still a fire hazard in the kitchen. It’s not a linear logic.”

Johanna’s only reaction was a quick, forced quirk upwards of the left corner of her lip, but Kaisa couldn’t see it. She continued speaking, because anything was better than this feeling that Johanna was sad and because she knew it would be her last chance to talk to this woman. After the wedding, she wouldn’t be able to come back there. Not ever. It just wouldn't be fair. Not being able to avoid falling for someone when she was in a committed relationship was one thing. Allowing those feelings to develop was entirely another.

“It’s better than what I do when I get anxious.” She remarked. “One of these days I’m going to run out of fix-it fanfic to read.”

The way Johanna suddenly looked at her and blinked with a confused face made her fear that she was about to have to explain what fanfiction was to another adult, but then she let her eyes fall shut and laughed genuinely, and yes, that was much better, even if she was laughing at her.

Though, for some reason, Kaisa didn’t think she was.

“At least your coping mechanism doesn’t get your blood sugar levels dangerously high.”

“No, but it fucks up my sleeping schedule, so it’s kind of a pyrrhic victory, isn’t it?”

One auburn eyebrow was lifted. “What, like you can’t stop and pick it up again the next day?”

“When I’m halfway through a hundred thousand word slow burn and having to make it past the angst part of it? Absolutely not. Would you leave a cake overnight in the oven?”

Johanna chuckled and shook her head in a way Kaisa’s battered heart wanted to think of as fondly, and her spirits were immediately lifted at having cheered her up from whatever had been bothering her even if now that meant they’d have to stop talking and actually get to business. Talk about a pyrrhic victory.

Her arms were still around herself, though, which meant that when they walked further into the kitchen for her to show her the cake, Kaisa could barely spare a thought to the jaw droppingly beautiful creation. Not when Johanna was so clearly gripping into her own arms in a way that had to be bruising.

Yet the angel maintained her smile.

She showed her how it had turned out with that perfect customer service voice that Kaisa hated for how robotic it sounded, even if she reminded herself that she was just a customer. They’d agreed on the toppings not being the brides, since that was a tad too cliche for them, but rather it was a modelling chocolate model of the tree under which they’d had their first date. The buttercream was a light orange, Adeline’s favourite colour, with accents of gold leaf in flower shapes. There were other details on the cake, references to books they both enjoyed, to the university they’d gotten their Masters at, but what Kaisa couldn’t stop thinking about, when she did manage to pay attention to the cake, was the obvious care that had been put into every detail.

Kaisa swallowed down a lump in her throat. It did not go away.

When she managed to get out of her own head for long enough to realise that Johanna was probably waiting for a reaction, she opened the brightest grin she could manage - hoping it was not, in fact, a grimace - and sang her honest praises to it. She didn’t know what she’d done wrong, though. Johanna only seemed to grip her own arms tighter.

Though Kaisa offered to help, Johanna carried the cake to the counter in the cake shop on her own. Probably for the best, too, considering Kaisa’s known lack of upper body strength. There, she placed the cake inside a box that was meant for safe carrying.

Kaisa had already paid for half of the cake upfront, and now took the exact sum that had been missing from her pocket. When she lifted it up for Johanna to take, the baker shook her head.

“Don’t.” She said simply, and Kaisa frowned.

“What do you mean, ‘don’t’? Johanna, it's your payment.”

“I know.” The woman opened a smile completely at odds with the sheer sadness in her eyes. “I don’t want it. Consider it a wedding gift.”

Mouth opened to protest, Kaisa found herself at a loss for words as Johanna placed the box on her arms. If Johanna hesitates before letting her take it, then either she doesn’t notice it, or she takes it as the woman wanting to be sure she has a proper grip on her creation and isn’t going to drop it as soon as her hands go away.

Instead of a vehement denial of the gift, Kaisa found herself saying something so corny that she’d cringe whenever she thought back to this moment in the future.

“How can I repay you?”

Johanna’s voice, no matter how much she tried to hide it, was strained when she spoke.

“Be happy. Please.” She blushed when Kaisa actually let out a small gasp at how honest she sounded. “Goodbye, Kaisa.”

As the bride walked away, she couldn’t help but feel she’d be indebted for the rest of her life.

…......

She could not go through with the wedding.

Kaisa was a creature of habit. Of planning. Of sticking to an idea to the world's end once she decided on it. So it was no walk in the park for her to come to that decision.

But she did, because if a situation was dire enough that she couldn’t ignore it, then things were very bad indeed. She hadn’t been able to go back to Adeline’s house after picking the cake up. She’d gone home, cried herself into a truly apathetic state, and scourged ao3 for a nice, long, fix-it fic about star crossed lovers. The first few she clicked on annoyed her, one had no paragraph breaks and another seemed averse to using commas, but eventually she found a well written story that scratched her itch.

She supposed she’d gotten very demanding in her tastes, lately.

She’d woken up sleep deprived and miserable, naturally, which made for as good of a day at the library as you might imagine. A patron asked for a romance book recommendation. She gave them a copy of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and pretended she didn’t hear it when they mumbled that that was a tragedy and not a romance.

Weren’t all love stories?

Back at her apartment, she called her best friend even if just to listen to a voice she knew instead of the same songs on repeat.

“Victoria, you’ve been married for a long time.”

“That I have.”

“How did you know you were in love with her?”

“I started asking myself questions like ‘how do I know I’m in love with her?’”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me.”

By the third day in which she couldn’t bring herself to go back to Adeline’s, her fiancee messaged her, asking if everything was alright.

Kaisa had never been a good liar.

“I’m not sure.” She typed and strangled a sob as she started the next message. “I think I need to talk to you”

Her heart hammering on her chest, she attempted to lie on her side in her bed, facing the wall, and catch some sleep. Meaning she didn’t see it when her screen lit up with an answer.

“Me too.”

…......

The atmosphere was tense when they met up for brunch the next day. It was entirely Kaisa’s fault, though, because Adeleline was being perfectly sweet and Kaisa was just walking around like there was a rain cloud over her head.

“Alfur said that the bakery where you ordered the cake has great pastries! Why don’t we go there?

Kaisa shivered, and looked down to hide her shameful blush. “Better not. It’s too far.”

Theirs was not a conversation to be had over coffee and bagels, though, so they ate - and for a couple of minutes, it was easy and pleasant like it had been for so many years, like Kaisa had gotten her best friend back when she didn’t even know she’d lost her - and then went back to the house. Truth be told, Kaisa’s legs felt so weak as she followed her bride inside that she was proud of herself for making it without collapsing on the floor in a guilty puddle.

She hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew she hadn’t. But she still felt like she’d stabbed a loved one’s back and the loved one was smiling at her nonetheless.

They sat down on the couch, not even pretending there wasn’t an elephant in the room but rather inviting it to step closer and step on their heads, maybe. What were crushed skulls next to a broken heart? Memories of reading together, of watching movies, of talking about their days flooded their minds as they dared themselves to be the bravest they ever were.

“This is hard.” Adeline said, and Kaisa could only nod as she stared with an unfocused gaze at nowhere in specific. “What if we both say what we want to at the count of three?”

That could go terribly wrong. But Kaisa had always been helpless to humour her. So she allowed her to count down the seconds, each accompanied by a stronger beat of Kaisa’s heart, until one came and it flew out of her mouth before she could think twice.

“I can’t go through with the wedding.” They both said, exactly at the same time.

The silence that follows is nothing short of stunned. They turn to look at one another, sporting similarly wide eyes. Except Kaisa’s lips are parted in surprise and Adeline’s are beginning to shape a smile. Something like static is buzzing inside the librarian’s mind.

“Well, this might be a lot easier than I thought.” Her bride chirps. “Why don’t we tackle the ‘whys’ this time?”

Kaisa nodded dumbly, feeling like at any moment people with cameras and microphones would jump from behind the furniture and announce that it was all a prank.

No one did.

And when the countdown was done, they braced themselves for this time dissonant admissions.

“I fell for someone else.” Kaisa said with her eyes shut tight as Adeline breathed out “I’m aromantic.”

When they looked at each other then, Kaisa looked even more floored, and instead of smiling Adeline began to openly laugh, filing the living room with the joyful sound.

“What the fuck?” Kaisa exclaimed, gaping. And then her brain began trying to process the information, and the other woman’s laughter began getting to her and she repeated, this time with mirth and a confused grin. “What the fuck?”

“I'm sorry!” Adeline had to make an effort to stop cackling at their honestly ridiculous predicament, moisture gathering at her eyes for all the right reasons. “I only realised it recently. I mean, I’ve always known, but I think I was avoiding it. And lately I’ve had reasons to try to understand my feelings better. I don’t think I’ll ever feel romantic attraction towards someone. But I’ve come to realise that that’s different from queerplatonic attraction. Which… I do feel for someone.”

Kaisa nodded, listening intently and doing her best to showcase it though her body language as well.

“And I also noticed that that’s slightly different from friendly love. Which is how I feel about you.” Adeline took her hands; they had always been warm and delicate. Now they felt a little bit sweaty, and it made Kaisa relieved to know she wasn’t the only one suffering with nerves. “I know there are aromantic people who marry their friends, or their platonic partners. Whatever form of love brings people together is more than valid, I’d say. But I know it’s not what you signed up for. I know you’re a hopeless romantic, even if you try to deny it. And sure, we work well together because we respect and like each other so much. But I’ll give you honesty, Kaisa, because I care about you and I feel like we’ve been lacking on that front. I don’t think I want to marry you.”

They breathe for a moment, and it’s the most free they’ve felt since they could remember.

“I am so happy for you, Adele.” She’s still a bit stunned, but it’s beginning to make sense. A lot of moments from the course of their relationship were, to be honest. She had gotten the feeling that Adeline had been containing something, that she’d been forcing herself to go along with a plan she didn’t want, but she’d always brushed it away as being her own paranoia about being unlovable. How could Kaisa not be happy? This was her best friend, and she was finally out of her cage. “This must have taken a lot of introspection and certainly a lot of courage. Thank you for telling me. Both for trusting me with this information and for being so honest about it.”

Adeline squeezed her hands. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t trust you with, Kaisa. You’re still the person who I’d have agreed to spend my life with. Being aromantic doesn’t change that.”

She squeezed her hands in return, trying to convey all her feelings of fondness and gratefulness at the same time. It all made sense, then. They weren’t the sun and the moon; there was only one sun in Kaisa’s life and she had made her peace with it at last. Adeline was, truth be told, too sweet to be something as blinding as the sun.

It had been right in front of her the entire time: Adele was the earth. Calming and steady, the only one among them all that could actually hold life. Adeline was safe. She’d always been Kaisa’s anchor, and something told her she’d remain so even after this entire ordeal. She kept Kaisa in orbit with her gentleness, her encouragement, and now, with her bravery.

Kaisa could cry. She must be a weird sight, looking at her (former?) bride with so much open adoration when they’d just admitted to not want each other in that way. Adeline scrunched up her nose in a way that told her she was about to be silly.

“So…” She drawled. “Who’s your girl?”

Kaisa scoffed. “I thought you were my girl”

Adeline laughs again, and how come Kaisa hadn’t realised she’d been doing that so rarely lately? “Come on, Kai. I’m not the one who fell in love with someone else.”

“I know, I know, I’m just… relieved. I thought I was going to lose you.”

With a gentle smile and without letting go of her hands, Adeline bumped their knees together. “You’re never going to lose me, Kaisa. I may not be in love with you, but I do love you. Very much. You’re so special to me and I’m so glad we had the self awareness to talk about this before we could go through with the wedding and it actually got in our way.”

A weight dropped from Kaisa’s heart, as if gravity had been abolished and she was finally free to float. The moon could never lose the earth. But she couldn’t deny that her glow came from the sun, either.

Kaisa swallowed, unable to resist the urge to look away as she blushed with the admission. “The baker. Who I fell for, I mean. But I promise we never-” She rushed to defend herself, even if she didn’t know what from. “I wouldn’t-”

Adeline squeezed her hands again, knowing that would ground her, a perfect gravitational center. “I know, Kaisa. I trust you.”

It was all Kaisa could do not to let herself slide down from the couch all the way down to the floor in sheer relief. Not even in her best dreams could she have imagined that conversation having gone so well. And then her brain picked up on something else from Adeline’s speech.

“You… said you have a crush on someone? A queerplatonic one?”

It filled the librarian with a sadistic sort of glee to see Adeline being the one who turned a shade of beet red this time. She loved it when she wasn’t the one on the spot.

Adeline nodded. “Our wedding planner.” She admitted shyly, making Kaisa lean back on the couch and laugh.

“Alfur? Damn, Adele, at least I didn’t fall for a guy!”

Giving her a playful shove, her (definitely former) bride grinned. “Are you a biphobe, now?”

“Will it make telling everyone we’re calling off the wedding easier if I let you think so?”

Somehow, such a heavy topic didn’t feel like a minefield anymore. It felt like when they were younger and did stupid things just to see if they could get away with it, like writing utter nonsense on their essays to find out if the professor even really read them. It felt like they’d laugh about it, not only in the future, but as soon as each new remark came. It felt easy. It felt like friendship. Adeline giggled again, rolling her eyes fondly.

“Can’t believe you had the gall to suggest we have brunch somewhere just because Alfur recommended, just to then throw around the news that you have a crush on him.”

The archivist gasped and looked at her with completely feigned hurt. “And you had the gall to deny me my pastries because you’re in love with the baker!”

“That’s fair. Guess we really were made for each other. Platonically.” Kaisa smiled softly, already planning on bringing a selection of Johanna’s pastries for Adeline to try as soon as everything was cleared up.

“Does that mean I get my best friend post back?”

“Obviously.”

She punched the air in victory. Whatever the opposite of a pyrrhic one was, this time. Kaisa didn’t think there had ever been a win-win situation in the universe that had been so perfectly aligned. “I’m going to rub it in Victoria's face that she’s been demoted again.”

Kaisa laughed again, allowing a pleasant feeling to unfurl completely on her chest and make her feel giddy with it. They were going to be fine. They were all going to be fine.

“I really do love you, Adele”

“And I, you, Kaisa.” She says as brightly as she grins. “And I’m not ever going to marry you.”

…......

A few days later, Kaisa used her lunch break to take the walk from the library straight to the park in front of Johanna’s bakery.

She thought about going inside, but what the hell was she going to say? Show up during her work hours and say “my wedding was ruined before it even began and it’s all your fault, thank you so much”? That didn’t sound like a normal thing that normal people did - not that she’d know much about that - so she let herself fall to one of the dark green benches, the paint peeling at some places and making bubbles in others.

It was a nice day. Couple of clouds, just enough for the sun to not be hitting her directly. Even the birds were singing nicely. It felt like the perfect set up to go reenact a Hallmark movie, but she knew she was procrastinating. What was the hurry, though? She wasn’t on a timeline anymore. There was no special date looming in her future in which her entire life would change. She was, in fact, back to square one. Back to wondering ‘could anyone ever love me?’ and ‘am I even capable of maintaining a relationship?’

She supposed she’d have her entire life to answer these questions, now.

But before that, she had to make this stop.

Honesty had gotten her this far, after all.

Not that she was making any progress on that front. The relief from knowing she wouldn't have to force herself to do anything combined with her typical fear of failure came together to make a very potent tranquilliser, apparently. She sprawled herself on the bench, resting her head against the back of it, and allowed the rays of the sun to warm her, eyes closed and mind wandering.

When suddenly she felt the heat cease, and light was no longer making it past her eyelids, she opened her eyes to see what the matter was. She’d been expecting a cloud. Her heart began hammering in her chest when what she saw was a different sun.

“Kaisa? Is everything okay?” Johanna asked with her hands twisting in front of herself. That made sense, Kaisa thought. She should have prepared herself for that. She must be quite the image, thrown on some bench in front of Johanna’s workplace. Of course the dear woman would come check in on her.

“Yeah, thank you.” And then, because she quite literally had nothing to lose, she added. “My wedding was called off.”

Johanna blinked, looking around as if she expected to find some explanation to what she’d just been told. Kaisa managed a tired smile, lifting her left hand for her to see for herself that there was no longer a rose gold band in it.

“Oh.” She breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Kaisa said, shrugging. “She's my best friend. We aren’t fit to be anything else. We’re both glad to have decided to abandon ship.”

The cogs in the artist’s mind seemed to be working, and she frowned, something undecipherable flashing in her eyes. “So you’re… happy?”

“I guess I am. Happy to have called it off, sure. Happy to be back at my old apartment. Happy I won’t be getting a hundred new names worth of extended family to memorise.”

Johanna failed to hold back a snort.

“I could be happier, though, I suppose.” Kaisa said with all the recklessness of someone who had just found out that sometimes, when you asked for things, you got them. Who could ever have imagined? “There’s a reason I noticed I couldn’t go through with it, after all.”

She’d never allowed herself to appreciate how beautiful Johanna was. She’d noticed it, of course, much against her will, but she had cut those thoughts short before they could become something to feel guilty about. She didn’t need to anymore. She could let herself be fascinated by how her hair curled perfectly, by the couple of freckles dotting her skin, by her strong looking hands and the rosy bottom lip being bitten down on in her confusion.

“Oh?” She breathed, sounding like she didn’t know what else to do. Kaisa sent a prayer to any deity that could hear and sat up straighter.

“At the risk of making a complete ass of myself, would you like to pop over mine for tea someday? I’ve got this delicious cake by an amazing cake artist just waiting there, and it’s far too big for me to eat on my own.”

The birds sounded awfully loud during the silence between the invitation and her answer. It was the first time Kaisa reached for something she really wanted, telling herself that it wouldn’t matter that she’d lose it eventually, not if the other option was never having it at all. She had no idea if she’d ever manage to strike Johanna’s interest. Much less if she’d manage to keep it, should she be allowed the chance. But if she were, then she had no doubt it would be the most awe inspiring eclipse of her life.

Johanna shifts her weight between her feet. It doesn’t look like she’s going to say no, but judging by her face Kaisa doesn’t really fancy her chances either.

“I have no idea what kind of person you are.” She stated, not at all accusingly. Kaisa shrugged.

“Naturally.”

“But kids are good judges of character.” Kaisa lifts her eyebrow in askance. “And I trust mine. Hilda’s inside the shop. Would you come in and meet her?”

Suddenly feeling that reckless sort of bravery be replaced by giddiness, Kaisa stood up so quickly she was afraid she was going to faint for a second. “May I?”

Johanna nodded, face scrunched up as she attempted not to smile. Kaisa made no such effort.

“If I pass her judgement, will you go out with me?”

With an exhale, Johanna glanced at Kaisa’s hand, debating whether it would be weird to hold it.

“I’m not a very smart person, Kaisa.” There was no time for her to protest against that ridiculous lie before Johanna shook her ground. “I think I’m going out with you either way.”

Johanna was the sun. Kaisa knew that, because she was the moon, and who could ever be a better judge of that than her? But anyone who happened to be passing by them could easily switch them up. Few things had ever shone as strongly as the smile on Kaisa's face.

[inevitablemoment]

Right Here Waiting For You

Rating: Mature

Category: F/M, Gen

Fandom: Family Ties

Relationships: Alex P. Keaton/Ellen Reed, Alex P. Keaton & Original Child Character(s), Alex P. Keaton/Lauren Miller, Alex P. Keaton & Mallory Keaton, Alex P. Keaton & Elyse Donnelly Keaton, Alex P. Keaton & Steven Keaton, Alex P. Keaton & Jennifer Keaton, Alex P. Keaton & Andy Keaton, Alex P. Keaton & Nick Moore, Alex P. Keaton & Elyse Donnelly Keaton & Steven Keaton, Ellen Reed & The Keaton Family, Mallory Keaton & Ellen Reed, Elyse Donnelly Keaton & Ellen Reed, Ellen Reed & Original Child Character(s), Ellen Reed/David, Mallory Keaton/Nick Moore, Elyse Donnelly Keaton/Steven Keaton

Characters: Ellen Reed, Alex P. Keaton, Lauren Miller (Family Ties), Mallory Keaton, Original Child Character(s), Elyse Donnelly Keaton, Steven Keaton, Jennifer Keaton, Andy Keaton, Nick Moore, Irwin "Skippy" Handleman, David (Family Ties), Franklin Reed (Family Ties)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Weddings, Lauren Miller Bashing, Song: Right Here Waiting (Richard Marx), Unhappy marriage, Arguing, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Pregnancy, Postpartum Depression, Mistaken for Cheating, Infidelity, But not by Alex and Ellen, Dad Alex P. Keaton, Angst, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ellex is Endgame, Mom Ellen Reed, 1980s, 1990s, Unpacking emotional baggage, Divorce, Single Parents, One Night Stands, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Mild Sexual Content

Words: 1,075 (chapter 1/?)

Summary: As Ellen is sifting through her mail in her dorm one day, she is disheartened to see a wedding invitation for Alex P. Keaton and a Lauren Miller.

Both Alex and Ellen try to move on with their lives, but their paths always lead back to each other.

[tevaselmundogiraalreves]

Buddie fic recs:

I've been wanting to do my own list of my favorite fics for a while now so here it goes (in no particular order):

- my words are paper tigers by @hattalove (this ones my favorite of them and i'd say a little underrated maybe?) TIMELOOP TIMELOOP TIMELOOP - buck breaks up with eddie, the universe doesnt agree - ITS PERFECT I'VE READ IT FOR THE FIRST TIME SO LONG AGO AND ITS STILL ONE OF MY FAVORITES EVER.

- Actually, truly by MilenaDaniels Helena (and Ramon) tries to find a way back into Eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding Buck around every corner she turns. (Or: "Mom, listen.")

- burn the straw house down by @hoediaz - what to even say i think everyone has read this one already but just in case TIMELOOP TIMELOOP TIMELOOP

- Happy Little Accidents by @like-the-rest-of-la - one of the first au i ever read for buddie and i was so ENCHANTED what to even say, buck owns a plant nursery. Its just so soft and so so so beautiful.

- said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by @hattalove - another fave of them. Many weddings and buddie in the middle of it all.

- Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by HSMLusitania - i think everyone and their mother has read this one aswell but just in case EDDIE DISPATCHER.

- Burn a bridge, learn how to swim by Watermelonshots - this is a series and jesus christ it literally starts with a buddie drunk make out session so-

- Sit with me in the dark by @kitkatpancakestack - buck loses his vision- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soft and kind and yeah beautiful and buck glasses kink anyone?.

- Lifelines by @hetrez . This fic is literally a lifeline - buck and eddie meet during the tsunami and talk about being in the closet. I have no words for how much this fic meabs to me. FLAWLESS.

- about the present by @runawaymarbles - this is a series now and god this was so so fucking special and unique - the first part eddie in the aftermath of being in a timeloop of the shooting. The second one is buck handling it on his own way. PERFECTION. Still thinking about it.

- a good day to be by @hetrez Eddie is a dance instructor, buck needs dance clases for madneys wedding. As flawless as the other one. Eddie Diaz needs a hug yeah.

- we'll be forever, you'll see by rarakiplin - Eddie Diaz finds a cat and heals and heals. And is so loved. I think i cried the first time i finished this one.

- still by @gayhoediaz - once again i think everyone knows this one but just in case, eddie steps on a detonator. ANGSTS SO MUCH ANGSTS AND THAT ENDING YEAH.

- but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by @captain-hen - eddie confesses his feelings, buck rejects him, TIMELOOP TIMELOOP TIMELOOP

- authentication by @vgreysoncellars - i think i described this one as a never ending extention of 7x06 like nights abd just pride and pride and liberation. Eddie picks guys in bars for buck to make out with...

- oh, come when you're called by @lesbianrobin CHRIS 💘 no other words needed i think

- i'm a cliché (who cares) by @cranberrymoons UFF THIS ONE MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL - eddie realizes stuff and buck is there every step of the way.

- bark like you want it by @colonoscopys - SOULMATES AU so so funny and wholesome.

- the love triptych by @cranberrymoons - this ones just so freaking special to me. Helena trying and trying and trying cause she loves her son. And buddie together through it all.

- so much left in store by @lesbianrobin - UNI AU UNI AU UNI AU !!!!!!! AND VERY IMPORTANT BABY CHRIS💘

- hang me up on your bedroom wall by @eddiegettingshot WELL buck just wants (more) but only if eddie gets him pregnant about it... (infidelity fic)

- close ain't close enough (til we cross the line) by @cranberrymoons buddie sexting buddie sexting buddie sexting and being so so freaking insane and not normal about it. (Infidelity fic)

- throw a bone, i’m finally home by @shitouttabuck - i think everyone knows the like a dog verse by now (come on lol) but yeah i'm very very obsessed especially with the second part of it.

[mickyschumacher]

[GORGEOUS!]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you were in love with f1's beloved honey badger and you had been for almost year. but why in the world had you instead fallen for his teammate? or in which infidelity has laid it's sticky little hands on you.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slight angst, infidelity naturally, falling out of love, steamy makeout sesh, suggestive content, pining, sad boy hours for daniel, lando being kind of a sneaky bastard, age-gap between reader and boys (8 years for dan and 2 years for lan), reader born in australia, set in 2020/2021, false or incorrect marine biology lingo and protocols lol, mention of crossiant horner, poor explanation of f1, mentions of insecurity, proof-read...ish

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: daniel ricciardo x marine biologist!female reader, lando norris x marine biologist!female reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 4k+

𝐀/𝐍: i felt bad for not posting so here's me digging into my reserves! written when i did more song-based fics!! i wish life wasn't so busy 🤧 i have started a few thingsssssss but it's definitely going to be a while before i post them sorry 😣

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

You, honestly, were a normal girl. Mundane as mundane gets. Never once had you imagined of cameras, headlines and the need for a PR specialist in your life.

But it's what you had gotten. That's what Daniel Ricciardo came with.

You had met the Australian on pure accident. It was late 2020 and the season had just come an end. Hamilton was a six-times World Champion and Daniel had his last season with Renault. He hadn't got the result he wanted but he was optimistic about his future with McLaren. So eventually, he headed home to Australia for the Christmas holidays.

Now you would like to consider yourself a well-versed Australian. Especially considering you were born there. Robert Irwin was the most beloved Australian for years to come and Margot Robbie and Chris Hemsworth were your Aussie reps in America.

Somehow, however, you had never really got F1 or Formula One. That's not to say you hadn't heard of it. Honestly, for the past few years it was difficult to pass Albert Park in the summer of March without it flashing in front of your eyes. But if someone were to ask you anything about it, you would blink blankly and apologise.

Which is exactly what you did in early December. You were out having lunch with your closest friends at a local cafe, catching up on the year in the fresh yet skin-damaging Aussie sun.

You were in midst conversation when a brunette girl politely interrupted you. "Hi, sorry. This is going to sound really weird. I'm doing this on a bet. But do all three of you know that man over there? In the hat?”

You looked over to her table full of people. It seemed like she was with her family and friends. You and your friends zoned on the man in the hat, a guy who was trying to not make it obvious that he was aware of what was going on.

You scrutinised him carefully and unsurprisingly, you didn’t know him. Surprisingly, you did find that he was attractive. The curly hair, the scruff… you wondered whether he was actually Australian because no men in Australia looked like that.

Your two friends nodded while confirming with one another. “It’s Daniel, right? The driver?” One of them asked.

Your other friend hummed in agreement.

The brunette looked over at you. You blinked at her as your face slowly morphed into an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

The brunette, which you expected to be somewhat sad about it, ended up smiling while your friends’ faces dropped.

“Thank you! Oh my god. You have no idea what you’ve just done!” The brunette laughed loudly, capturing the attention of her table. She pointed at the man in the hat, clutching her stomach. “She doesn’t know who you are, Danny. Take that!”

Similarly to your friends, the male’s face dropped. He looked at you and tilted his head.

When Daniel actually saw you for the first time, he was in shock. Not the type of shock of an Aussie not knowing who he was. But rather the shock of being in the presence as someone as beautiful as you.

Your eyes were tantalising and your apologetic expression was cute.

He waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s okay. I’m just an F1 driver.”

You nodded in slow understanding. Maybe you had in fact seen his posters in Albert Park. Honestly, you couldn’t be sure. Life as a marine biologist was busy and all over the place. Recognising celebrities or athletes was kind of the last thing on your mind.

━━━━━━━━━━━

That day you went home with the expectation of a normal tomorrow. One where you were out at the ocean and exploring the waters you had loved so much.

You wish you could say it came as a shock to see that same curly haired man on the wharf, but given the current temperatures that heavily contrasted your winter, it was reasonable as any other Aussie here.

What you didn’t expect was you passing him to get to your boat and then hearing a voice enter the air. “Hey! Excuse me. Sorry. You’re the girl from yesterday, right?”

You turned to the man, hand over your eyes to protect yourself from the harsh rays and take a closer look at him. Just in case it wasn’t him.

“Uh, yeah? You’re the driver, right?”

Daniel gave a wide smile, extending out his hand. “I’m Daniel. Daniel Ricciardo.”

Oh my. What a smile he had. The type to make you feel happy just by looking at it. You couldn’t even help but smile in response. You reached out to shake his hand, not ready to feel a weird sort of spark between the two of you.

“I... I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

Daniel slowly removed his hand from yours, grabbing any last second he could. He eyed the briefcase and scuba gear in your hands. “You diving?”

You looked at your equipment. “Well, testing. I’m a marine biologist. Although, I guess I’m still diving.”

Daniel pursed his lips. Now he had to get to know you. You were beautiful and a marine biologist. An Aussie dream.

“Oh yeah? What are you testing?” He queried with a raised brow,

“Oh! Uh, currently things like the local fish populations in decline. Their habitat. Whether they’re safe or not. Algae growth. Predators. pH levels. All the fun stuff...” You sheepishly trailed off once you realised you began rambling.

You didn’t know but in that moment Daniel was in awe of you. The twinkle in your eyes that rose once you talked about your work. Like your work was your passion. That’s how he felt about F1.

You watched Daniel nod as if he were actually interested. “Do you mind if I come with? I won’t contaminate anything. Promise.”

You mended your brows together. It wasn’t uncommon for people to ask to join. But the way Daniel said it… like it was something he had to do or he would regret it for the rest of his life, you couldn’t help feel compelled. “Um, yeah. Do you not have to be on the road or something though? ‘Cause your a driver?”

“Oh F1 only goes between March and November. We’re on holiday at the moment. Well sort of.”

“Oh,” you mumbled out cluelessly. Your cheeks burned with a tinge of embarrassment. How had you managed to get through all these years of living and not known about this?

Daniel laughed lightly at the reddening of your cheeks. Just when he though he could find you any cuter. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you F1. And you can teach me the ocean.”

So the two of you went into your boat. The sun beat down onto you so harshly that for most of it, you had retreated to driving the vessel in the shade as Daniel sat next to you.

It had gone so well that this, whatever it was, became a regular occurrence after you exchanged numbers that day.

You were learning a lot about him and his job. He was actually Italian-Australian. He started this passion with go-karting. You found out F1 wasn’t just racing but it was racing to another extreme. 300 kph. God, getting your car to 100 kph for the open road was thrill enough for you.

That made Daniel wheeze with laughter and promise he would take you for a drive in a sports car to get a taste of the speed he craved for.

Apparently F1 had 10 teams, each with 2 drivers. In each of the teams, the drivers had the same car to drive, cars that were constructed originally by each team. The point of the races were for two championships. The Driver’s World Championship, the title the driver wanted to win, and the Constructors’ Championship, the title everyone from the driver to the team strategist wanted to win. They were calculated by the amount of points received by the drivers in the races.

All the races were settled through a long weekend of sorts. Fridays were for practices to see how the car was on the track as they had different conditions per track. Saturdays were for qualifying. Here, Daniel would push the car to its limits to get the fastest lap time as the drivers were ranked to then get a position for the actual race tomorrow. Sundays were where they raced for points.

All of it was slightly complex, especially with the penalties and rules that they followed. Buy you seemed to get the gist of it.

Daniel had learnt that you had grown up in Australia and like him had to travel a lot for your work. Weirdly, some times his race dates would match up with your travelling. Daniel chose to take that as a sign. You were 8 years younger than him, taking him by a slight surprise. You were 23 and he was 31. But it didn’t seem like it mattered to you. Communication between the two of you was a smooth sail.

Daniel even opened up about his time with Red Bull. A whirl of bad and annoying memories. But when you had said that you would like to see Christian Horner step on to your boat and throw him overboard into a tank of piranhas, only for thirty seconds of course, Daniel had never laughed harder.

━━━━━━━━━━━

By the billionth time you had hung out, the sun was setting in the evening, providing a refreshing cold breeze to match the heat. Christmas was close soon. And Daniel was aching to ask you out.

He had to go into this next season of driving knowing he had you by his side. Even his own family was pushing him to ask. Especially his sister, Michelle, who had dubbed herself the cupid as she was the very brunette who had technically introduced you two, or so she claimed.

The both of you had finished a dive and were heading to Daniel's car. You were supposed to have dinner with his family on this fine evening.

"You good, Danny?" You looked over to the man. Daniel, for the loud and outgoing person he was, was being rather quiet today. You couldn't really put your finger on why either. You took pride in being able to read people. But it looked like his mind was at some sort of battle.

He gave an idle hum, getting into the driver's seat.

You raised a brow, closing the door on the passenger side shut. Your hand reached out to his thigh, making him break his trance and flicker his eyes towards you.

"Listen, I don't know what it is or what's going on. But I'm all ears if you want," You smiled, patting his thigh. You went to remove your hand but Daniel placed his hand over yours, keeping you there.

Daniel's heart was in his throat. He was not normally a nervous man. He was the epitome of confidence. But you seemed to tear that down, in the nicest way, quite easily.

Daniel absorbed your curious eyes before releasing a shaky breath. "Uh," he awkwardly chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "I'm not normally like this. I can't really explain it... but these past few weeks, I... I haven't felt like this in a really long time. With you I feel free... happy... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really like you. And even if I'm ancient, I would really like to be with you. You know. Together. If that wasn't clear."

The smile on your face the moment you realised what was going on hadn't stopped growing. You watches his eyes dart around, looking for a signal of anything. A yes. A no.

You looked down at your hands. The warmth of his spread among your one. You turned your hand to intertwine them with his and squeezed his hand, looking back up at him. "I think you took the words right out my mouth. I like you too, Danny. A lot. Even as an 'old ass man.'"

An odd silence settled within the car as Daniel simply stared at you, honey brown eyes hold your own.

"Danny? Are you okay?"

Daniel's eyes turned into crescents while his infamous wide smile sprawled onto your face. "Can I kiss you?"

You stilled in the passenger seat. Your eyes flickered to his lips before meeting his eyes once again. You weren't sure if you could trust your voice at the moment so you gave a curt nod.

Daniel smiled softly at the flustered expression you sported. Instead of leaning his head in like you expected to, he reached over to your seat and lifted you out of it. You released a small yelp before landing onto his lap, straddling his crotch as you faced towards him.

Daniel's fingers played with the slightly dampened tresses that had fallen around your face and pushed them behind your ears. His fingers trailed down to your heated cheeks and to your jaw. Bringing you closer to him, he leaned his head towards you.

Daniel's lips fell into yours. His hands soon fell to your back as your arms snaked his neck. The world... your surroundings were all gone. All you could feel was each other. His fingers sneaking past the hem of your shirt and grazing your bare skin. The action sent a wave of heat within you.

You let out a small muffled moan causing Daniel to adjust himself in his seat. A bulge had formed in his pants, aching at your touch. You released yourself from him for a gasp of air, which fell into further pleasurable gasps as Daniel's swollen lips had found your neck, leaving a trail of small sloppy kisses.

Daniel rested his chin onto your shoulder before pulling back to look at you. He grinned at your dazed expression. "As much as I would like to continue this in such a fitting setting like a car, I would rather our first time in an actual bed."

You let out a small laugh, feeling yourself fluster even further while you gave him a tight hug.

And that's how your relationship had started. Since then, it had been almost a year. In that year, you had gotten impossibly closer. You had visited his races without telling him because you were scared. You were scared of distracting him and scared for him. The first F1 race you went to matched up to your meetings with other marine biologists and techs in Spain. God, you didn't know cars could even go that fast. The occasional toss of a car to the side sent fear coursing through you.

Eventually, Daniel had found out and reassured you that you being there wouldn't harm anything. In fact, the thought of it calmed him down and encouraged him. He had even introduced you to some of the team and whispered in your ear when he pointed to Red Bull's team principal.

"Oh... so that's the man going overboard. That's a shame. You didn't tell me he look like a sea otter. Sea otters are supposed look cute. I'll just pretend he's plant plankton."

Daniel had never laughed harder at something. Just when he thought he couldn't love you more. God, you were a sight to behold. He would never understand how you managed to be who you were.

You had felt the same.

Well, at least that was until when you met his new teammate in McLaren, Lando Norris.

Lando was two years younger than you and what some people called the British Ricciardo. He was constantly smiling and cracking jokes. He was the moodmaker.

The vibe he had was like an annoying little brother of a sort.

But people obviously didn't feel attracted to someone if they truly thought of them like that.

You shouldn't feel this way. It was wrong. You had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who adored you. You had tried to keep yourself occupied with your job to avoid having to attend too many races and meet the McLaren team, in fear of meeting Lando.

But of course, how were you going to refuse to celebrate Lando's 2nd podium of the year in Monaco when Daniel asked?

So here you were. In a club dressed in a cream coloured set: a long sleeved bralette and a long skirt starting from your waist, ending just before your heels with a slit in the middle.

The compliment you had received in your ear from Daniel made you wish you could say you were dressed for him in the first place. But it would be a lie to say that.

You had navigated yourself around the club to drown yourself in some alcohol. You needed a distraction and you felt that being some what drunk and out of it would've helped.

you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. and i got a boyfriend, he's older than us he's in the club doing, i don't know what you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much.

You were out of it for sure. Because sober you did not have the guts you had right now. The guts to not only sit at the same table as Lando but next to him and make fun of his British accent with Carlos.

"No, Carlos. I'm pretty sure he sounded like 'No no no... you ruined my ice cream,'" You laughed lightly as the Spaniard refused to agree with you.

"No he has bit of a weird sound at the 'ruined' part. He sound like those kids in the UK... on the road? What are they again..."

Lando's face burst with amusement. He laughed so hard, he had to prevent his cup from falling out of his hand. "Do you mean..." He gasped for air, "Roadmen?"

Jesus. Carlos Sainz discussing roadmen was the funniest thing that had happened so far.

You weren't sure where Daniel was even. All you knew he was probably talking to some other team member of McLaren. You were rather preoccupied and entranced by the British male next to you.

You couldn't explain it but it was as if there was a magnetic field around him and you, like an element, were simply attracted to him. As if there was no other path to go. He made you laugh differently. Feel differently. He was also a looker. That boyish charm that simply pulled you in. It made you wonder how strong his magnetic field was.

The science of it was simple. You may be a marine biologist but you hadn't flunked physics. The stronger the intensity of a field, the further the magnet, Lando, will be able to attract elements, like you. All you knew was that he was strong enough to inexplicably take you attention away from your own boyfriend.

you're so gorgeous i can't say anything to your face 'cause look at your face. and i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way but what can i say? you're gorgeous.

This attraction you felt to Lando what ridiculous in itself. But you had felt it from when you first met him and you felt it now. Lando was simply gorgeous. His smile was breathtaking. His laugh felt pretty.

And it infuriated you. You wanted to yell at him, tell him to stop. These feelings, this flutter, this tingle... make it all stop, you wanted to say.

But you could never say that to his face. How could you? Those same things came back every time you looked at him.

The smile. The flutter. The tingle.

You wondered whether he had even looked at himself in the mirror. You wondered whether ever had felt insecure about the way he looked and that if he did, you wished he hadn't.

Everything thing about him was simply enticing. A delightful view... from the arms of Daniel.

you should take it as a compliment that i'm talking to everyone here but you. and you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room. if you've got a girlfriend, i'm jealous of her. but if you're single that's honestly worse. 'cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts.

This feeling... this infatuation was overwhelming for you. You were a taken girl. You had even made it was to the multiple Instagram F1 'WAGs' accounts and were met with the most glorious welcomes by fans.

You needed to get a grip on yourself for Christ's sake. Lando was also taken. Even if he was single, which if you were being honest was an insult to romance itself, you didn't have a chance let alone now. No matter how jealous you were, you had to be realistic. You paled in comparison to the fame Portuguese models that F1 drivers often found themselves with.

Of course, you had to admit they were beautiful. You had no conflict with them. They weren't your classic mean girls. They were impossibly nice and you even found yourself in some interesting conversations. But at the end of the day, you were simply a marine biologist.

So in the darkness of the club, you had managed to isolate yourself from Lando, who had gone with Pierre somewhere, and made the struggling and gruelling effort to talk to anyone else but him. You had conversed with Carlos before he had gone somewhere with his girlfriend. You had settle for Charles as a distraction.

Charles was a pleasure to talk to. As always, he was also so kind and sweet with his words. The type you were sure that when you looked at the, you knew that their mother raised them right.

Daniel had finally found his way to you, mentioning that Zak Brown had just pulled him aside for a talking to. You asked if he was okay, in which he responded with a smile and said: "Now that I'm with you, yes."

You managed to give him a soft and believable smile. Daniel was standing behind you, joining in your conversation with Charles. It wasn't until you were in the midst of a conversation about life in Monaco that you felt a hand on yours.

You smiled gently, expecting it to be Daniel's but instead it was Lando's.

ocean blue eyes looking in mine. i feel like i might sink and drown and die.

Your eyes snapped up to meet Lando's face. His blue eyes bore into yours.

Those goddamn eyes of his would be the end of you. The similarity of them to the oceans you had travelled and the beautiful creatures you had seen was uncanny.

Your heart paced furiously against your chest. He must've been drunk or tipsy to the very least to stumble onto you. There was no way he had purposely wanted you to drown in his eyes.

You sucked in a quiet sharp breath and edged to removed your hand. But as quickly as you had made that decision, the gnawing feeling at your heart had grown more intense and taunted you. Lando's hand hurried to grab yours and place it back where it was.

Your eyes shook with awe and lingered with a dangerous thrill. You could feel his fingers rub the back of your hand gently before intertwining them.

You looked blankly at the table in front of you while Lando had joined in the conversation so casually, like nothing was even going on. You had to thank your stars that the club was able to be as dark as it was.

A lot of the noise around you had turned into white noise and blurs of sound. Charles must've complimented you as you had managed to capture some mention of fish and coral reefs from your boyfriend.

you make me so happy it turns back to sad. there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have and you are so gorgeous, it makes me so mad. you make me so happy it turns back to sad. there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have and guess i'll just stumble on home to my cats alone unless, you wanna come along?

It was Daniel kissing your cheek fondly and Lando's hand grazing your knee under the table that had brought you back to reality.

The happiness and adrenaline you felt was wrong. You knew with every crevice and fibre of your body that this had to stop. This attraction and sickly sweet infatuation with Lando. God, he just made you so fuzzy. You could barely think straight.

You were stuck in between two men who had their touch on you. It wasn't right. As much as you liked Lando, he angered your entire being. He had simply waltzed into your life. He was playing along with your feelings.

Lando's damning eyes averted to you when he felt your hand slip away from him forcefully.

You hoped the guilt in your eyes shone as much as they could in this darkness.

You were going to have to break up with a man who would give you everything. You would have to leave all of... this... and get away from here.

You needed everything to return to normal. You had no idea how exactly you were going to explain a sudden return home without inflicting any suspicion.

All you knew now was that you had to make a lengthy apology to a man you had not realised you had fallen out of love with.

You supposed that was love.

Love was a bittersweet feeling. It was beautiful and fluttering but brought a lot of tragedy and strife along with it.

That was love: simply gorgeous.

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[seeingivy]

satoru gojo as taylor swift songs  ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

an: welcome to the satoru swiftie-verse!!! for my fellow gojo and tay tay fans, this is my most delusional brain rot yet. since I clearly have a problem, I thought I’d compile all my taylor inspired satoru fics into one post! 

fearless - friends to lovers

you belong with me - friends to lovers, highschool!au

the other side of the door - hurt comfort

mine - fake dating

enchanted - arranged marriage, part 2 to king of my heart

speak now - friends to lovers, love confession

the story of us - enemies to lovers kinda

never grow up - dad!gojo w/ megs and tsumiki

electric touch - second change romance, ex-husband gojo

out of the woods - amnesia au 

slut - strangers to lovers, olympics au 

gorgeous - strangers to lovers 

king of my heart - arranged marriage trope

dress - friends to lovers (kinda)

new year’s day - friends to lovers

lover - established relationship

cornelia street - arranged marriage w a lil bit of enemies to lovers

death by a thousand cuts - fwb to lovers! 

ivy - regency era!satoru

labyrinth - strangers to lovers

sweet nothing - established relationship, dad!gojo w megs + miki

mastermind - established relationship 

paris - established relationship 

high infidelity - second chance romance, hurt comfort ish 

hits different - older brothers best friend!satoru 

you’re losing me - established relationship, hurt comfort 

so high school - second chance romance 

extra: gojo at the eras tour

you can always request satoru w/ a song as well (since knowing me, i’ll end up writing it anyways at some point so you might as well speed up the process) <3  

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[helaelaemond]

Unwavering - Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x female reader

Word count: 2.8k

Fic summary: Aemond Targaryen is marrying a woman he likes for the good of the family - for the second time. He is loath to give up you, though, the woman he craves. After your first marriage ended badly, you swore you'd never be anyone's wife again. That doesn't stop you from being his first choice. Established relationship.

Content warning(s): infidelity, brief mentions of guns, drugs, alcohol, mild violence (not between Aemond x reader)

Rating: Teen

Notes: This has the potential to be a non-chronilogical series. Please let me know if you'd be interested more in this verse!

Tag list:@sylasthegrim / @myfandomprompts / @arcielee / @@babyblue711

You felt a soft kiss on your shoulder and smiled. Sun was pouring through the open windows of your bedroom and there was a soft breeze that lifted your hair. He was still here. He shouldn’t have been. 

“Good morning,” he whispered against your skin. “You smell so good.” 

You rolled onto your stomach and curled around your pillow with a broadening smile. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

“You kicking me out?” 

“No. But I’ve got things to do, too, you know?” 

Aemond lay next to you and stroked your hair, his face close to yours on the pillow. You cracked open an eye and watched him watch you. “Can I stay with you?” he whispered. 

You shook your head. “Not for long. For breakfast, though, if you make it.”

“I don’t wanna leave this bed.” 

“You’re gonna have to at some point. You’ve got responsibilities today.” 

“Tell me to stay, my love. Tell me not to do it.” He ran a strong hand over your neck and gently wrapped it around your throat, fingers tilting your jaw to the side. 

You laughed quietly, sleep making your mind hazy. “No. I want you to have a wife and a family. You’ve always wanted that, but I haven’t. I still want to be me for a while yet.” 

“You wouldn’t stop being you just for being my wife.” 

You took the hand around your throat and brought it up to kiss. Aemond closed his eyes at the touch of your lips. “We’ve talked about this, for years. Decades. I can be your person, but I can’t be your wife. I won’t be anyone’s wife again.” 

“I’m not anyone. Please, my love. Marry me.” 

You stretched your arms up and laughed. “Not today!” But you rolled over and wrapped your legs around him and pulled him against you, loving him as best you could in the soft sunrise. 

After, you followed your usual routine of showering together and dressing. Since your days of teenage love, you enjoyed the quiet of domesticity. Outside the walls of your homes, secret dynastical wars raged on their streets, but in your old house, in his sprawling estates, it was just you. Today was no different. He zipped your skirt and you buttoned his shirt, and you walked arm in arm down the street for coffee and bagels. You took a booth at the back of the café, although it didn’t matter if anyone saw you - you had never been a secret. Besides, you both kept guns strapped to you and knives hidden in your jackets and coats. 

You leaned back in your chair, blowing steam off the top of your coffee. “You’re sure about this one?” 

Aemond regarded you over his phone and considered the question. “Yeah. It’s gotta be someone, why not her?” 

“It doesn’t have to be someone,” you reminded him gently. “You could go it alone. Well, as alone as you will ever be. You’ve always got me.” 

“Yeah. But I want someone. I want a wife. And the wife I want doesn’t want me, so I gotta choose the next best thing. Besides, you know her family’s reputation; that’s nothing to turn my nose up at.” 

“Ever the pragmatist.” 

He gave you one of the smiles he saved just for you. “Aw, you hurt me, my love. I do like her. She’s got spirit, and she’s smart as hell. She likes the high life, and she wants kids sooner rather than later, and… and she makes me laugh. She makes me feel wanted.” 

“I think most of the Crownlands want you,” you said quietly, avoiding his gaze. It wasn’t that you were jealous - how could you be, when he made you feel so adored all the time? - but it irritated you that this woman was able to give him what he wanted, and you couldn’t. One marriage to the wrong man had ruined the institution for you and now not even Aemond could heal that wound. Yes, your first husband had died violently at your hand for his transgression, but that wasn’t the point. The transgression had occurred in the first place. That was frightening. 

“Don’t be angry, my love. You know it’s still you.” Aemond reached over the table and stroked your hand and you felt safe again. You held his gaze and nodded slightly. “It’ll always be you. You’re mine, before anyone and everyone else.” 

You smiled, your mood improved. He had always been happy to declare his feelings with you, and even now, on the morning of his wedding to another woman, in a nondescript coffee shop, he made you feel like the most adored woman. On the middle finger of your right hand, you still wore the first expensive ring he had ever bought you, and it cost as much as your parents’ house. It was a gaudy thing, a thick diamond set on a band of smaller cut gems that you had chosen together the day after you killed your husband. It was Aemond’s promise to you - that no matter who else came along, no matter what the world threw at you, you would love each other before anyone and anything else. He wore a similar ring you bought him on his little finger of his right hand. You never took your rings off. His first wife had hated it - understandably - but she had got her share in the divorce when Aemond had refused to forsake you. You looked down at the ring and it sparkled. You’d had it cleaned for the wedding today especially. 

“Are you sure me coming today is a good idea?” you asked after a long moment. 

He squeezed the hand he held. “Yeah. I need you there.”

“She’ll be mad.” 

“She’s always got something to be mad about. Besides, she knows the deal and you’re non-negotiable.”

“I don’t want to upset anyone on their wedding day, Aemond.” 

He shifted his chair around the table and leaned closer to you. “What about me? You wanna upset me on my wedding day?” 

You bit your lip and grinned. “I never want to upset you.”

“Then be a good girl. Come for me.” He rested his hand on your thigh under the table and you glanced around the cafe. No one paid you any mind. “Look at me.”

You met your lover’s piercing gaze and grinned. The purple of his iris always gave you butterflies.

“You gonna come for me?” 

You nodded and gasped quietly when he rewarded you with a kiss. You could taste the coffee on Aemond’s lips. He wanted you, he needed you, and you would never let him down. 

Your cousin begrudgingly helped you get ready for the wedding. She said it was indecent for the mistress to turn up, let alone in a green silk dress barely held together by strands of diamonds across the back, but you smugly told her the groom had bought it for you especially, and who were you to refuse a prince? As a precaution, you strapped your Colt Python to her thigh - it was an old machine, temperamental, but it made you feel powerful, and you had a more reliable weapon in your clutch, as well as blades hidden in your shoes - and touched up you hair. Curls pinned to your head, diamonds dripping from yourr ears, and Aemond’s dress draped across you, you felt more sensual than ever. When you sat in the pew at the wedding mass and thought of how the groom had feasted between your thighs mere hours before, you felt holy. You sat with his Hightower cousins a few rows back and even when the blushing bride strode down the aisle, Aemond couldn’t keep his eyes from you for long. 

They were lucky to be able to have an orthodox service in Baelor's Sept, as everyone knew that Aemond’s first marriage had been valid. But enough money had been slipped to the right hands to push through an annulment, and so in the eyes of the Faith this was his first marriage. There was some humour in that. The familiar words were spoken, hymns and prayers recited, and after what felt like a lifetime, and no time at all, Aemond was walking down the aisle with the new Princess Royal on his arm. Sadness twinged in your stomach.

That could have been me. It should have been. He’s mine. 

The reception was tolerable, enjoyable in its tackiness and extravagance. Everything was green and gold and the hundreds of guests stuffed into the grand ballroom of the coastal palace were drunk within the first course. It was how a Crownlands wedding should have been, though, and you appreciated it for what it was. By the time the first dance came, you were lightly buzzed and enjoying catching up with the biggest names in east coast rule, many of whom were old family friends. Business people and politicians, courtiers and property moguls joined them too, tying together the legitimate and illegitimate powers that kept the region affluent and fun. Most didn’t know where the legality ended and illegality started. By the time you snorted a line of cocaine from the chest of Baratheon daughter, you didn’t much care, and the pair of you fell about laughing in the bathroom. As if called by the sound of your happiness, the moment was cut short by the sound of the bride herself outside. 

“Lysa, can you help me? This dress is a fucking nightmare, you gotta hold it up, okay?” 

“You better go,” you advised the girl, no older than twenty-two by the looks of it, “before you meet the new princess up close and personal.” 

The girl giggled and darted from the bathroom just as the bride scrambled her way through the door. The dress she had chosen was appropriately enormous, tight on top and blooming into an extravagant sept train from the waist down, and you weren't surprised that she needed three bridesmaids to help her through the door. 

“Gods, I’m dying to sit down properly-” she moaned over her shoulder before her eyes fell on you. You patted around your nose, watching your own pretty reflection in the mirror. “Oh. I didn’t know you were here.” 

“I responded to your invitation, princess,” you replied mildly. “Lovely dress.” You turned your attention to your lipstick and dotted a fresh coat on, pointedly ignoring the bride. 

The second Princess Royal turned back to her bridesmaids and then looked at you, dithering between the two. There was a long pause before she turned to her entourage. “Stay outside. Make sure no one comes in, alright?” The bridesmaids made noises of agreement and the door swung shut, and then it was just you and Aemond’s new wife. 

After the bride said nothing, you broke the silence. The powder in your nose gave you a brazen confidence. “You’ve organised a wonderful day. Are you enjoying yourself?”

The princess's eyes narrowed. “I’m not happy you’re here.” 

“Oh?” 

“I know why you’re here.” 

“To see one of my dearest friends marry the woman he loves, of course.”

“Don’t play cute.” 

You smiled sweetly. “You think I’m cute?” 

“Cut the shit.” 

You sighed and looked at the bride. “What’s on your mind, princess?” 

“It’s real tacky you’re here, you know?”

“He wants me here. I came because he asked me to be here. I wouldn’t be here without an invitation.” 

“I didn’t invite you.” 

You pulled the invitation from your clutch and handed it to her. “Yes, you did.” 

The bride threw it aside, angry. “Give up! I won! He doesn’t want you!” 

You smiled at her sadly. There was nothing to say that could bring the bride any comfort. The truth was, Aemond did want you. He wanted you more than anyone and anything, but that didn’t matter to this woman. This woman knew she had just pledged her life to a man who couldn’t love her completely. She was angry for it. “He’s my friend,” was all you could say. 

“Get new friends.” 

“I won’t stand in the way of your happiness, princess, or his. Above anything else, I love him and I want him to have the most wonderful life. I can’t give him the life he wants, but you can. Why would I jeopardize that?” 

It was the wrong thing to say in hindsight. You knew that the moment the bride launched forward with murder in her eyes. Her clawing fingers reached out, and she managed to get in one good scratch before you had her arms locked behind her and ready to pop from their joints. “Easy,” you whispered against the bride's ear. The acrylics on her fingers made your face sting, but the skin hadn’t been broken. “Calm down. Like you said, you won, you’re his wife. Don’t fight me for anything more, because you will lose. Do you understand me?” 

“Are you threatening me?” she gasped. 

You tightened your grip and the bride hissed. “Yes. Raise a hand to me again, and Aemond’s love for you will not save you. You want to see who he will really choose if it comes down to it? Because I do not have my doubts. Do you?” 

Just as the bride’s whines rose in volume along with her pain, you let her go. You gripped under her elbow and held her upright to stop her from falling. “You got in a good scratch, I’ll give you that. But work on your attack, and maybe you’ll take out an eye next time, alright?" You smirked at the irony. All the more proof that you and Aemond belonged together. "You’ll need protection if you’re going to love him.” 

“Are you threatening me?” the princess asked again. 

There was no kindness left in your eyes. “Yes.” 

You stared at each other for a long moment. The new bride broke first. You sniffed and checked your reflection before stalking out of the bathroom, not a hair out of place. You pulled on the diamond strap of your dress and you were close to the ballroom door when Aemond stepped out. His smile was so bright when he saw you and he reached for your hands. When he noticed the scratches across your face, his face darkened. 

“What happened?” he asked, tender fingers touching the marks. Across the corridor there was a set of glass doors open to the terrace, and it was dark out there. There were a few wedding guests milling around but quick steps had you both hidden in the gloom. Overhead, stars popped across the inky sky. With your arm in Aemond’s, you found your way down garden paths and to the beach. No one saw you. 

“Your wife doesn’t like me,” you told him, smiling. His face was barely visible in the darkness, but his bright hair caught the light of the stars. Your walk eventually slowed as your shoes crunched on the sand. 

“She did this?” 

You nodded. “It’s alright, she deserved to get in a good swipe. It won’t happen again, though.” 

“No, it won’t,” Aemond replied quietly. “Who does she think she is?” 

“The new Princess Royal, protecting the honour of her marriage,” you pointed out with a light laugh. “I’d do the same. I don’t mind, really. I understand her anger.” 

“My love,” he said, his voice softening. “How can I love someone who hurt you?” 

“You’re the only one who can hurt me, Aemond.” You wound an arm around the back of his shoulders and closed your eyes when he rested his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll never hurt you.” 

“I know.” And he never had. Not with a hand, not with a word. No one had ever loved anyone like Aemond loved you, and you knew it. “You’re so good to me. What did I do to deserve you?” 

Aemond rested one hand at the small of your back and ran the fingers of his other hand up your spine. “Thank you for wearing this dress. You look beautiful.” 

You smiled in the night. “Thank you for choosing it for me.” 

“Gotta let the whole world see how beautiful my girl is.” 

“Call me that again.” 

“My girl.” 

You hummed and began gently swaying, moving him to dance with you to the sound of the ocean. “You’re my person, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. And you’re my person. Always have been. Always will be.” 

Aemond’s soft kiss touched your cheek, and you sighed in bliss. “I love you, Aemond.”

“I love you, too. More than anything. Always.”

[strangenewwords]

Newish fic - corrode my soul

for @scoganbingo

Fandom: X-Men (all media types), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men (comicverse)

Rating: Explicit (but it’s toward the end and not a lot of the fic)

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Logan/Scott Summers, Jean Grey/Scott Summers

Characters: Logan (X-Men), Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Kurt Wagner, Rogue, Various X-Peoples

Additional Tags: this is a little a, Basically I mush together which x-verses I want, Infidelity, Pining, Mutual Pining, Feral Behavior, in a soft way, Frottage, Shower Sex, Top Scott Summers, Bottom Logan (X-Men), Oral Sex, Marking, Scent Marking, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, First Time, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, these boys have it bad for each other, logan does not talk for the majority of the fic, Falling In Love, slow burn

Summary: 

There’s an incident on a mission that changes Logan. It changes everything else, too.

“That’s what we’ve got to talk about,” she replies, grinning even more broadly. Curiosity flows through Scott once more as he lifts his eyebrows, taking another swig from his beer. “Logan’s not talking, but he is thinking.” Scott can feel Jean’s impishness even as he sees it written on her features. ”About you, Scott. All he thinks about is you.”

For Scogan Bingo, organized by the lovey Scogan Bingo team, filling prompts: hedge maze, sex in the shower, and wearing partner’s clothes.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Fic Series Pt 2: Bookmarks & Oneshots (Under 50K)

Hey all!! As promised on last week's post, here are the remainder of my bookmarks under 50 that are part of a series! AGAIN, these are fics on my bookmarks, so no fics will be added to this post BUT willl be saved for my MONSTROUS MFL list!!! So if you have them please feel free to comment and I'll catalogue them for the future list! Enjoy!

See also:

Fic Series Pt 1: Bookmarks & Oneshots (50K+)

The Trial of Sherlock Holmes Series by jenna221b (G, 3,015 w. across 3 works || TAB!lock, Metafic / TJLC, Victorian AU / 1895, Christmas, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Oscar Wilde) – Scripts based on speculation that Sherlock will be put on trial in The Abominable Bride to parallel the Oscar Wilde Trials of 1895.

Sherlock's military kinks Series by kirakira_nanoda (E, 5,191+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Military Kink, Slash, PWP) – John finds out about Sherlock's militaty kink. John indulges in Sherlock's military kink.

'How To...' Series by tigersilver (T, 5,445+ w. across 2 works || Post S3, Post Mary, First Kiss/Time, Mutual Pining, Requited Love) – Pining, requited, and unabated spates of 'first kiss' fluff. Post Mary, AU, mildly cracky. John lays a smooch on Sherlock's nape in passing. The world does that thing it does when it wobbles and Sherlock practically falls off his own pins.

No Mushrooms Please Series by lbmisscharlie (G, 5,456 w. across 3 works || Friendship / Bromance, Food Sharing, Fluff) – John and Sherlock and their lazy, dysfunctional Sunday mornings in bed. In which Sherlock has difficulty sleeping and John makes lots of toast.

The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Series by DoubleNegative (E, 5,791 w. across 4 works || Fake Relationship, For A Case, Clubbing, First Kiss/Time, Established Relationship, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Banter, For Science!, Humour, Inconvenient Erections) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson solve mysteries... in bed. Each of these stories stands on its own, but they all take place more or less in the same 'verse. None of them should be taken seriously.

Sherlock Advent Series by bofurs_laugh (T, 5,963+ w. across 9 works || Series WiP || Friendship, Angsty Fluff, Christmas, Pre-Relationship, Jumpers, Heavy Fluff, Kissing, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John take a case that starts to unravel their friendship, but the good doctor will do anything to keep his detective safe, even if that means walking away.

proper procedure Series by paxlux (T, 6,147+ w. across 2 works || Series WIP || Post-TGG, First Kiss, Sherlock’s Violin, Fluff) – He lies back in bed and listens to the notes and pictures them gathering around Sherlock’s feet like water. He feels like there's a stone in his chest, maybe an albatross around his neck.

Human Error Series by Spark_Writer (T, 6,432+ w. across 7 works || Series WiP || Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Unrequited Love, Angst, Dancing, Alternating POV, Infidelity, Happy Ending) – “It’s the end of an era,” says Mycroft. And the world lists on its axis.

Made of Music Series by SosoHolmesWatson (T, 6,464+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Post S4, Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite.

Undressed Series by QuinnAnderson (E, 6,653+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Mutual Masturbation, PWP, Anal Sex, Table Sex, Sexual Tension) – Gymnophoria: (noun) the sensation that someone is mentally undressing you. Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone.

Caught In The Act Series by ShirleyCarlton (E, 7,009 w. across 6 stories || Est. Rel, Voyeurism, Character POV’s, Masturbation, Switchlock) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

Sherlock Holmes Is A Very Lucky Man Series by panickedbee (E, 8,181 w. across 7 works || Established Relationship, Anniversary, Cuddles, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Rimming, Teasing, Bed Sharing, Domestics, Public Sex, Blow Jobs, Bickering, Assorted Kinks, Flirting) – Just a lazy morning in bed, warm, soft, and two terribly romantic boyfriends loving each other.

Caught In The Act Series by ShirleyCarlton (E, 9,217 w. across 7 works || Established Relationship, Unintentional Voyeurism, Alternate POVs, Humour, Blow Jobs, Walking in on Someone, Switching, Public Sex) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

The "This" Series by suitesamba (M, 9,230 w. across 12 works || S3 Fix-It, Humour, Drunkenness, First Kiss, Angst, Semi-Clueless Sherlock, Angsty Fluff, Hurt / Comfort) – Stag Night - back at 221B - in a world where Mrs. Hudson doesn't interrupt the guessing game with the client.

Dreamscapes Series by Goddess_of_the_Night (E, 9,897+ w. across 2 works || Series WIP || Bed Sharing, Platonic Cuddling, Sleepy Conversations, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Insomnia, Touching, Nightmares, Soft Sherlock, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Dirty Talk, Chair Sex, Sherlock's Mind Palace, Sleep Experiments, Wet Dream, Praise Kink) – Sherlock and John spend the night in Scotland after finishing a case. The sole Inn in town only has one room left...one bed. This would be fine - if not a bit awkward - if Sherlock hadn't developed a habit of snoring loudly. John suffers through many hours of sleeplessness before he discovers that skin-to-skin contact stops the noise.

Imagines Moti Series by SwissMiss (T, 9,927 w. across 4 works || Magical Realism AU || Tattoos, Cover Art) – An AU in which life events appear as symbols on the skin.

The Light of Day Series by allonsys_girl (E, 10,607+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || TSo3 Rewrite, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Love Declarations, POV Sherlock, Fluff and Angst, Possessive Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Humour, Sherlock-centric) – John actually notices Sherlock leaving the reception early, and chases after him. Angsty Johnlock. Happy ending, for sure.

The Emergency Contact Series by blueink3 (M, 11,763 w. across 2 works || Five and Ones, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Happy Endings) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital.

Intimacy Series by sussexbound (E, 12,281+ w. across 2 works || Series WIP || Love Confessions, Trapped in a Closet, First Kiss / Time, Emotional Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, Frottage, Fluff, Trust Issues) – This will basically be an exploration of building trust and intimacy (emotional and physical), the growth of a burgeoning sexual relationship, and John and Sherlock learning what a loving, intimate and committed relationship means for the two of them.

Reichenbach To Return Series by missilemuse (T, 13,272 w. across 6 works || Post-TRF, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Unrequited Love, Friendship, Humour, Love, Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hallucination, Fake Relationship) – For someone who was a genius, he was realizing too many things for the first time...

The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes Series by KarlyAnne & cwb (E, 13,297+ works across 3 works || Series WiP || Post S3, Established Relationship, Panties, Arts and Crafts, Love, Experiments, Domestic Bliss, Penis Size, Fluff and Crack, Sexual Roleplay, Oral/Anal Sex, Couch Cuddles) – A collaboration between CWB and KarlyAnne, based on prompts from our Crafty!Sherlock Poll

The High Tide Series by stardust_made (E, 15,269 w. across 3 works || OMC, Angst, Jealousy, Developing Relationship, First Time, Romance) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, afluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it.

Thermodynamics Series by entanglednow (E, 16,300 w. across 4 works || Asexuality, Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat) – In which there's no heating and there's a dead owl in Sherlock's bed.

Longitudinal Cohort Series by Anonymous (E, 17,355+ w. across 6 works || Series WiP || PWP, Angst, Anal, Rimming, Light BDSM, Bottom Sherlock, Caretaking, Established Relationship, Insecure Sherlock, Proposal, Fluff, Come Play, Fellatio) – PURPOSE: To describe single-point observations of life inside 221B Baker Street, specifically in the period of time after the love declaration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. DESIGN: Longitudinal Cohort Study. METHODS: Sherlock Holmes and John Watson periodically observed. RESULTS: see attached reference documents. CONCLUSIONS: Best encompassed by this quote from Linda Brady, ""We recognize a soulmate by the supreme level of comfort and security we feel with that person. That doesn't mean that there aren't issues that remain to be ironed out. Rather, it means we know intuitively that we can resolve issues with our soul mate without losing his or her love and respect."

Baetica Series by Jberry (E, 17,943 w. across 2 works || Post-S3, Fake Marriage For a Case, Cruise Ship, Homophobic Language, Developing Relationship) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts.

Gifts from the Sea Series by patternofdefiance (E, 19,438+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Supernatural Creature AU || Tentacle Sex, Anal / Oral Sex, Switching, Pheromones, Puns, Emotional Sex, OctoJohn, Relationship Anxiety, Emotional Sex) – “A few weeks ago I would have thought you were impossible,” Sherlock begins, walking into the kitchen in his blue robe, and John – not quite catching on – wants to scoff and argue, No, actually, you are impossible, but then Sherlock continues: “But now I’d say you are improbable.” John thinks this might be flattering, if he could wrap his head around it, but he can’t – Sherlock is standing near, steaming his sun-baked-clean-sand smell, like the beach after rain, an alive smell, an other smell. It’s intoxicating, and John has been studiously avoiding it, but he can’t shift away now it’s so near. Now Sherlock’s so near. And then Sherlock ruins the probable-loveliness of his words and the definite-beauty of his presence by saying: “And by ‘improbable’ I mean ‘not yet scientifically acknowledged.’”

Barricade Series by stitchy (E, 21,016+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Post-HLV, Drunkenness, UST/URT, Angst with Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Time, Oral Sex, Developing Relationship, Holmes Family, Parentlock) – Sherlock has been struggling to keep his feelings at bay for everyone's sake.

Solace Series by CKLizzy (E, 21,515 w. across 5 works || Post-TRF, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling / Snuggling, Nightmares, Bed Sharing, Touching, Sleepy Cuddles, Kissing, Caressing, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Friends to Lovers, First Time, Angst, Romance) – An Experiment - how long can you keep two characters physically and emotionally close without their relationship turning into a sexual one? Has five parts that see the development of John and Sherlock's relationship from their bedroom's perspective (no, don't worry, there will NOT be a talking bedroom in the story).

Through The Clouds Series by Mazarin221b (E, 23,134+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Retirement, Romance, First Time, Sussex, Beekeeping, Home Improvement, Developing Relationship, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing.

Forever Freebatch Series by alexxphoenix42 (E, 23,472+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Real Person Fiction || Filming Sherlock, Gay Sex, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Infidelity, Polyamory, Pining, Angst, Happy Ending, Phone Sex, Shower Sex, Cuddles) – Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are working hard at both filming the Sherlock special, and keeping all its secrets under wraps. Somehow along the way, they stumble onto new developments that need to be kept just as private.

Winter's Delights Series by TakePenAndInk (E, 24,084 w. across 3 works || Original Characters, Christmas, Holmes Family) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family.

Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please Series by  Linpatootie (E, 25,419 w. across 4 works || Pre-Slash, Developing Relationship, Fluff, It's an Experiment, Domestic Bliss, First Time, Light Angst, Bed Sharing) – A somewhat pointless experiment on Sherlock's behalf leads to John having to re-evaluate pretty much his entire life.

A Satisfactory Arrangement Series by SilentAuror (E, 25,637 w. across 2 works || Post S3, Post-Divorce, POV John, Porn With Feels) – John has an issue. He loves being back at Baker Street now that his marriage is over. The only thing is, he doesn't fancy going the rest of his life without ever having sex again...

Sherlock’s Laboratory Series by berlynn_wohl (E, 27,362+ w. across 4 works || Series WiP || Science Fiction AU || Double Penetration, Oral/Anal Sex, Clone Sex, Dirty Talk, Foursome, Kinks, Established Relationship, Tentacles, Dubious Consent, Forced Orgasm, Massage, Genetic Engineering, Multiple Orgasms, Gangbang, Robot Sex, Androids, Angst) – “John, this isn’t one of your science fiction programmes. This is reality."

An Experiment in Apathy Series by belovedmuerto (G to E, 28,701 w. across 13 stories || Empath John, Empath-by-Proxy Sherlock, Epic Bromance Becomes Romance, Angst, Nightmares, Experiments, Trauma, Dreams) – "No man is an island, John. You less so than most." A sequel to the EiE Series, wherein John and Sherlock explore their relationship.

Dear John Series by wendymarlowe (E, 30,802+ w. across 3 works || Post-TRF, Long Distance Relationship, Mutual Pining, Epistolary, Cybersex, Angst, Apologies, Online Dating) – With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.)

Xmas Dinners Verse Series by ardenteurophile (T, 31,236+ w. across 2 works || Series WIP || Christmas, Family, Humour, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst, Developing Relationship) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple.

Among the Secret Things Series by TakePenAndInk (E, 33,565 w. across 2 works || Amnesia, Angst, Drama, Pining) – Sherlock would be the last person to describe himself as given to flights of fancy, but at the look on Lestrade’s face he could swear that something inside him curls up and dies.

It’s No Longer Eighteen Ninety-Five Series by glenien (E, 36,080+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Post-TAB, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff and Angst, Tears, Sherlock's Mind Palace, Past Drug Use, PTSD, Awkward Sex, References to Depression, Hugging, Soft John, First Kiss/Time, Dance Lessons, Parentlock, Happy Ending) – John takes Sherlock home. Although it is true love which fills their hearts with mutual flame, both John and Sherlock need to face their ghosts, to be able to speak its name.

Love Is Series by SilentAuror (E, 36,903 w. across 2 works || Post S3, Alternating POV Each Story, Angst, Unrequited Love, Rejection then Reconciliation, Romance, Mary Divorce, Eventual Happy Ending) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him.

Inscriptions Series by orphan_account (T, 36,909+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Soulmates AU || ASiP, Symbolic Rings, Romance) – Everyone is born with the name of their Soul Mate on their finger. This is called their SBI, or Soul Bond Inscription, and from the time a person turns sixteen, they are locked in a Search for the person with the corresponding SBI; the person with their name on their finger, in the same color as their own SBI. They do not know when, and they do not know where. All they know is that at the end of their Search is the person they are meant to spend the rest of their life with.

The Pool Series by Salambo06 (E, 39,340 w. across 2 works || Fake Relationship, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Alternating POV Per Story, Sexual Fantasies, Love Declarations, Angst with Happy Endings) – John and Sherlock know the Yard has a pool going for when they’re finally going to get together. It’s been running forever, and it’s worth thousands of pounds. It’s all fun and games, hahaha, until they find out Lestrade is in dire financial straits (dog needs emergency surgery, he’s putting his kid through gymnastics training, I don’t know, something), and they decide to fake a relationship to win the pool for him. Sherlock figures out the day and way that Lestrade thinks it’s going to happen, and they act it out. It’s all for a good cause, fake relationship style, until it’s not.

HOT DOLPHIN SEX Series by cwb (E, 47,486+ w. across 2 works || Series WIP || Post S3, Villain Mary, Friends to Lovers, Pining Sherlock, Spies/Secret Agents, Epistolary, Confused Sherlock, Dreams, First Kiss/Time, Texting/Sexting, Hand Jobs, Honeymoon, Travelling, Wedding Fluff, Happy Endings) – What's next on the sex holiday agenda? Bingo or shuffleboard? SH. You don't want to know. Now you have to tell me. SH

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics, Rape/Non-Con) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

[delicate44]

PIARLES FIC RECS - 2024!

If you know me even a little bit - you should know how much I love to read fics! The last two years I've read a lot of fics with Piarles as the main pairing. I've read amazing stories and got a chance to speak to the authors themselves to say how much I've loved em all! This is another way of showing appreciation to all the beautiful people who write and share their art with us. Even if Piarles is not your pairing - do give these fics a chance, leave kudos and comments so that they know how much their efforts are applauded. (I also mean no disrespect to any fics I did not mention here - I've tried to keep it to a 50 (60!)) - PART 2 HERE

Here we go! (Marked * are my favs) (strictly published in 2024)

1. breathe me in (exhale slow) * by duquesademiel, tiredtiredsharl (SMUT, multi chapter, wonderful play on senses)

2. don't say yes (run away now) by strongestavenger (One shot - wedding / speak now vibes)

3. we can get it so right * by tiredtiredsharl (SMUT, Multi chapter, JUST READ IT)

4. maybe you’re hoping (for a fairytale too) by duquesademiel (Multi chapter - beloved tattoo verse! Read the rest of the fics in this series)

5. coup de foudre by mercutiovibes (oneshot - a bit sad but beautiful)

6. cause I can't see nothin' in this half moon by tiredtiredsharl (oneshot / Magic! )

7. Trials and Tribulations by EspiTheWarlock (multi chapter / Fantasy AU / you should read all of em in the series)

8. you filling my cup (the sun coming up)* by ohmygasly (singsweetmelodies) (Oneshot / ABO / Sweet and hot)

9. season's greetings (Oneshot / HOT HOT HOT/ go pester the author to write part 2)

10. you and me were raised in the same part of town* by tiredtiredsharl (Multi chapter / Friends to lovers / ITS BRILLIANT)

11. model behaviour by your_littlesecret (oneshot / Model + Driver AU)

12. change my mind* by strongestavenger (ONESHOT / College AU / I love the setting and story!)

13. let's be what we are by quietrumblings (whisperedwords) (SMUT /oneshot / ANGST CITY!)

14. Le Cheval Cabré* by m00nlightE (BEAR AU / great build up)

15. take my hand (put yours over my heart) by duquesademiel (Multi chapter / Enemies to lovers / great pacing)

16. I have more than enough* by fractionsofinfinity (dbacksavs) (Multi chapter / ABO / Getting back together)

17. You showed me colours I can't see with anyone else by blackest_eyes (Oneshot / SMUT / Friends to lovers done very well)

18. show me who made you walk all the way here by yukierres (multi chapter / Royalty AU! / WE need the epilogue!)

19. anything, everything by arachnidisa (Oneshot / SMUT / Friends to lovers)

20. Point Non Plus* by boxboxbrioche (ONESHOT / SMUT / Regency era friends to lovers and marriage of convenience!!!)

21. like a heart made of dynamite by vicsy (oneshot / ANGST!)

22. my love is mine, all mine* - (ONESHOT / SMUT / Friends to lovers)

23. taking your time - (Oneshot / SMUT / Sweet! )

24. I could be lucky again* by tiredtiredsharl (Multichapter / Strangers to Lovers / THIS FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

25. can't stop feeling the rain before the thunder* by tiredtiredsharl(Multi chapter / ABO / yk this fic was gifted to me?!?!?!)

26. one of your girls by mercutiovibes (multi chapter / Friends to lovers and there's a wedding! )

27. Taste Damnation on Your Lips* by IICarpeDiemII (multi chapter / SMUT / Angels and Demons!)

28. put your lips on mine (and shut me up) by strongestavenger, your_littlesecret (Oneshot / SMUT / The banter is absolutely brilliant in this!)

29. don't hold your love over my head* by tiredtiredsharl (oneshot / SMUT / Infidelity but it works out)

30. shining bright by ginnydear (oneshot / SMUT / friends to lovers)

31. sudden changes* by ginnydear (oneshot / SMUT / ABO / Friends to lovers - too good! )

31. it otter be you by your_littlesecret (oneshot / Strangers to lovers - too bloody cute)

32. see you again by strongestavenger (Oneshot / Bodyguard AU)

33. ricordi in divenire by golden_fairylights* (multichapter / SMUT / Friends to Lovers)

34. ... and all i got was this lousy t-shirt* by duquesademiel (Multi Chapter / Idiots to lovers!)

35. And today is our turn by golden_fairylights, yukierres (Oneshot / Meet-cute)

36. if you were mine* by quietrumblings (whisperedwords), tiredtiredsharl (Multichapter / SMUT / Friends to lovers) (Oh this fic)

37. Take A Chance On My Love* by EspiTheWarlock (Prequel / Multi chapter/ SMUT / ABO) ( read the series!) & Take Me So Breathless* by EspiTheWarlock (addition to the fic! and was gifted to me :))

38. little things* by yukierres (oneshot / Babies! / Friends to lovers)

39. strawberries & cigarettes (always taste like you)* by duquesademiel (Multi chapter / WAG AU)

40. I Still Got It Bad by EspiTheWarlock (oneshot / SMUT / Exes to lovers)

41. wonderstruck by golden_fairylights (oneshot / Royalty and meet cute!)

42. ma moitié* by ginnydear (Oneshot / SMUT / Friends to lovers - very sweet ABO)

43. I want you all to myself (but you know me too well)* by EspiTheWarlock (multichapter / ABO / paced very well! )

44. built for it by quietrumblings (whisperedwords) (Oneshot / Olympics AU / Very obvious SMUT if you know that one incident)

[conundrumoftime]

2024 fic round-up

I did this for my writing at the end of last year, so here’s this year’s version.

Total works: 30 on AO3 (although four are older Twitter prompts I uploaded and two are multi-chapter fics begun before 2024).

Ships & gen breakdown:

I like pie charts and I am not sorry.

(Also, these are not all separate fics b/c a lot of my fics feature more than one ship.)

Rarest rarepair I wrote this year: Galadriel/Thondir in Our steps will always rhyme, for a challenge to write the first fic for a ship that doesn’t have a tag yet,

Ship I would not have written without someone else’s exchange signup - Elladan/Elrohir in Not one before another - wouldn’t have thought of it, saw it on the tags list, thought “oh that could be interesting,” really pleased with how it turned out.

Ship I am still deeply into after writing it in a previous year for an exchange signup: Celeborn/Glorfindel! Which I wrote as angsty infidelity fic last year, and this year’s Brighten my northern sky is a happier take on it.

POV character that was trickiest to get my head around: Gollum, in Precious. Definitely one of those voices that works best if you write it without thinking too hard about it and which stops working entirely as soon as you start questioning yourself on how it’s going.

Favourite take on something I’d been wanting to write for ages: As certain dark things are loved, Silmarillion Annatar/Galadriel/Celeborn.

Favourite what-if (as a fic exploring one scenario): Galadriel takes the Ring from Frodo, in Fair as the sea and the sun. I am particularly pleased with how well this one worked because my tendency with anything world-building-ish is to go into excessive detail on How It All Works, and for this one I went entirely the other way with a POV character whose memory has been deliberately altered to keep him from knowing most of it.

Favourite what-if (as a fic exploring a lot of scenarios): Five places Celeborn hasn’t spent the past eight hundred years (TROP-verse), where I got to throw a lot of different fandom ideas into one (actually died and sent back from Valinor; is Adar; lost somewhere with amnesia; is one of the Gaudrim; is just hanging out in a forest).

Fic that feels like the biggest capital-A Achievement: Shadow-Bride, finally completed this year after 43 chapters and over 260,000 words. This one is my precious and I am so very happy that I wrote it.

Fic from an entirely new fandom: So you quote love unquote me (Challengers); written I think almost entirely on my phone on my work commute (which I should clarify is on public transport) over the space of a week. Sometimes the fic idea just seizes hold of your brain.

Fics I am determined to get around to writing/finishing in 2025: the sequel to Shadow-Bride; the 2nd-age Ost-in-Edhil mayhem between Annatar, Galadriel, Celebrimbor and Celeborn told mostly through letters; and the Silvergifting fic I’ve had half-written forever.

Not listing all the fics b/c I’m running out of time tonight, and not doing any fandom resolutions this year because last year’s was making more of a conscious effort to write and enjoy the things I like the way I like them without letting my fic-writing get hampered by “ugh is this going to sound like I’m starting discourse”, and I feel like I kept to that pretty well this year even though the fandom got even more ‘QUIT HAVING FUN!’ in various ways over various things, and I’m really pleased with the stories I wrote as a result - so I’m just going to keep doing that one.

[theharrowing]

One Day at a Time

Yoongi loves to help others. As a professional surrogate, he takes pride in using his body to help families bring life into this world, and love into their homes. But when his high school crush Kim Namjoon hires Yoongi to help him and his wife conceive, things get...precarious.

Or, Omega Yoongi gets bred by Alpha Namjoon and holy shit, does he fall in love.

🐺 Yoongi x Namjoon, established Namjoon x Wheein

🌙 word count: 39.4k

🌙 past acquaintances to lovers, a/b/o, mpreg, infidelity, angst, smut, eventual fluff, slash, nsfw, 21+

🌙 warnings: alpha/top Namjoon, omega/bottom Yoongi; Namjoon is married, and he has a big dick; Yoongi is a mess, and he cries a lot; a/b/o stuff (mating cycles, lots of scent stuff, wolf instincts, marking - there will be blood, omega slick), angst (hormones raging, pining, emotional infidelity, infidelity, hurt/comfort), smut (ritualistic sex, ass to mouth, anal sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, extremely painful knotting, pregnant sex, begging, praising, possessiveness), confessions, falling in love, "happy ending."

🌙 note: hello, and welcome to my very first a/b/o fic! this is going to be a more modern take on some a/b/o lore and ideas. i did so much research and asked friends who are better versed with the lore and tropes (thank you @sailoryooons and @sweetestofchaos, i love you to the moon and back!!!), and i am really pleased with what has come of this. i never thought i would write a pregnancy fic, but here i am. the power of namgi and infidelity compels me. that being said, infidelity is a big part of this fic, so if you're not into that, you will not like this!!! this has all the build up and tension and very intense smut that one might come to expect from one of my fics, so buckle up and take the warnings seriously. 🌙 Yoongi deals with a lot of mood swings with his heat cycle, so if he seems completely irrational at times, it is because he is. and oh boyyyy, does he cry a lot. A LOT. idk how to describe Yoongi's genitalia situation. he has a dick but also … idk ... would his butt be a cloaca??? best not to overthink it. sometimes it is referred to as a cunt. hehehe. Wheein in this fic is very real housewives and i love/hate her.

🌙 written for one shot two shot fest

🌙 thanks to @neoneunnajimin & @sailoryooons for beta reading!

🌙 posted july 2023 | read on ao3 (link coming soon!)

INDEX:

1: I finally get to have you | 19.9k words

2: It feels right; I don't care if it's wrong | 19.3k words

tags: @codeinebelle @dasexydevitt13 @giriiboyy @mgthecat​ @moonleeai @m1sss1mp @spookyminyunki @sumzysworld @yoongoboongo0🌙 comment or dm to be added to the tag list!

One Day at a Time is copyright 2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts allowed!

[blazinghotfoggynights]

New Fic

I am currently editing what I hope is the final draft of the next entry in the Paramount verse. It is Buddie, but my favorite platonic friendship to write features in it. Heavily.

The second fic I'm actively working on is Buddie endgame, but it isn't fluff and rainbows. It's dark. It's angsty. There is infidelity, lying, and manipulation.

There are non-Buddie relationships mentioned, including BuckTommy, which is integral to the overall story. If you can't stand to read about that pairing in any capacity, the tags will remind you that is a part of the fic so you can skip it.

Neither Buck, Eddie, or Tommy are innocent sweethearts in this fic. If you don't read anything in which Buck and Eddie are less than sweet and perfect, this won't be for you.

If you don't mind someone playing with their hidden dark sides, you may like it. You may not. I have no way of knowing, but I write what I write.

I am not tagging this as BuckTommy because that is not the focus. Please do not add any BuckTommy related content or reblog this to any tags related to that character or that pairing. Thank you.

[mthofferings2023]

rearranged

See rearranged’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Email: her.ghost@gmail.com Tumblr: pleasetakethis Dreamwidth: rearranged Discord: pleasetakethis

Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain: General: Getting together Angst with happy ending Idiots in love Pining/repression Soulmates/soulbonds Time travel/loops/manipulation Fix-its Hurt/comfort Multiverse shenanigans/travel Strangers/friends/enemies to lovers Imbalanced power dynamics Confined spaces/trapped together Sex pollen/magic made them do it/forced bonding Fake/pretend relationship Age gaps Smut: Porn with plot (even if the plot is shaky at best) Everyone orgasms BDSM with or without toys/outfits, with or without explicit kink negotiation Dubcon Versatile characters Foreplay (making out, kissing, nipple stimulation, finger sucking, etc.) Oral Sex Penetrative sex (oral, vaginal, anal, perceived/intercrural) Grinding and tribbing Rough/angry/messy sex with or without aftercare Sweet sex with aftercare (cudding, wiping up, offering water, etc.) Dark: Prefer positive/ambiguous endings Torture Isolation Non-con Watersports (no pee-to-mouth) Humiliation Mind control Manipulation Whump Minimal/no prep before penetration No aftercare/neglect AU: Canon-divergence Trope-y AUs that are still based around canon (soulmates, time travel)

Will not create works that contain: General: Changing how characters are related in canon (ie: unrelated canon characters as siblings) Established relationship Mpreg, pregnancy, kidfic (canon-compliant is okay but prefer not the main focus) Infidelity Reader insert 1st/2nd POV Genderbends (trans a-okay) Omegaverse Permadeath Smut: Smut between characters younger than 16 Dubcon involving unaroused characters Scat Bodily fluid play (including spit-to-mouth and pee-to-mouth) Gaping/prolapse Anal fisting (vaginal fisting is okay) Sounding Needles/acupuncture Ageplay Body part fetishes (feet, armpits, etc.) Dark: Excessive gore Needles and scalpels Surgical descriptions/surgical-style torture Necrophilia Non-con where victim stays unaroused (forced arousal is fine) AU: High school College Mundane/no powers

  -- Fic or Other Writing --

Auction ID: 1020

Will create works for the following relationships: Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov - MCU Peggy Carter/Natasha Romanov - What If..? Peggy Carter/Dottie Underwood - MCU Natasha Romanov-centric - What If..? Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo - MCU Peter Parker/Tony Stark - MCU Peter Parker/Wade Wilson - MCU, Spider-Man (Raimi trilogy), Spider-Verse (animated films), TASM, X-Men movieverse Bucky Barnes/Peter Parker - What If..? Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop - MCU Christine Palmer/Pepper Potts - MCU

Work Description: I am offering a 5k+ fic (5k minimum, any longer is story dependent) with a starting bid of 10 USD and bids in 1 USD increments. I expect a 5k fic to take 4-8 weeks without any unforeseen real life events that could affect the timeline. Due to other obligations, I would not start work until 1 Jan 2024 but would be happy to discuss ideas in the meantime. As a writer, I prefer to take ideas/prompts/tropes and run with them until finished. For this project, I would complete a rough draft, polish it, then submit to the winner to see if they have any suggested thoughts/changes. Once the winner is satisfied, I would pass the fic to my beta. If my beta has any suggestions beyond SPAG, I would consult with the winner. If my beta did not have any suggestions beyond SPAG, I would submit the complete fic once beta read. I would need one person to represent the pod/group for podbid communications. If you have any specific requests outside of my preferences, please reach out in advance to discuss to ensure we are both comfortable with the subject matter. Ship notes: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Into the Spider-Verse): I added this with Peter B. Parker in mind. Natasha Romanov-Centric (What If?): This would be specific to Natasha from the universe where Ultron Won. Peggy Carter/Natasha Romanov (What If?): I could make this work with either version of Natasha (Captain Carter or Ultron Won). Bucky Barnes/Peter Parker (What If?): This would be specific to the Zombies episode.

Ratings: Teen, Mature, Explicit

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Fic or Other Writing --

Auction ID: 2015

Will create works for the following relationships: Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov - MCU Peggy Carter/Natasha Romanov - MCU, What If..? Peggy Carter/Dottie Underwood - MCU Natasha Romanov-centric - What If..? Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo - MCU Peter Parker/Tony Stark - MCU Peter Parker/Wade Wilson - 616, MCU, Spider-Man (Raimi trilogy), Spider-Verse (animated films), TASM, X-Men movieverse Bucky Barnes/Peter Parker - What If..? Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop - MCU Christine Palmer/Pepper Potts - MCU

Work Description: I am offering a 10k+ fic (10k minimum, any longer is story dependent) with a starting bid of 20 USD and bids in 1 USD increments. I expect a 10k fic to take 10-12 weeks without any unforeseen real life events that could affect the timeline. Due to other obligations, I would not start work until 1 Jan 2024 but would be happy to discuss ideas in the meantime. As a writer, I prefer to take ideas/prompts/tropes and run with them until finished. For this project, I would complete a rough draft, polish it, then submit to the winner to see if they have any suggested thoughts/changes. Once the winner is satisfied, I would pass the fic to my beta. If my beta has any suggestions beyond SPAG, I would consult with the winner. If my beta did not have any suggestions beyond SPAG, I would submit the complete fic once beta read. I would need one person to represent the pod/group for podbid fic communications. If you have any specific requests outside of my preferences, please reach out in advance to discuss to ensure we are both comfortable with the subject matter. Ship notes: - Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Into the Spider-Verse): I added this with Peter B. Parker in mind, but I'm also okay with the blonde, blue-eyed Peter who died in Into the Spider-Verse. - Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (616): I can adapt to just about any Deadpool/Spider-Man requested (I prefer Peter Parker Spider-Man because I'm more familiar with him), but if you have a specific comic run in mind, I may have to check it out from the library first to make sure I get the characterization right. - Natasha Romanov-Centric (What If?): This would be specific to Natasha from the universe where Ultron Won. - Peggy Carter/Natasha Romanov (What If?): I could make this work with either version of Natasha (Captain Carter or Ultron Won). - Bucky Barnes/Peter Parker (What If?): This would be specific to the Zombies episode.

Ratings: Teen, Mature, Explicit

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!