#this story is wild
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I’m almost (I’m assuming) at the end of Totks story and lemme tell y’all
I can’t WAIT to see what fanartists and fanfic writers are gonna do with all this
#including me hehehehe#I’ve already had at least two fanfic ideas#send help#Jen rambles#tears of the kingdom#totk spoilers#this story is WILD#one of the most out there zelda stories ever if ya ask me#it’s weird but a good weird
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“Are you the witch who turned eleven princes into swans?”
The old woman stared at the figure on the front step of her cottage and considered her options. It was the kind of question usually backed up by a mob with meaningful torches, and the kind of question she tried to avoid.
Coming from a single dusty, tired housewife, it should’ve held no terrors.
“You a cop?”
The housewife twisted the hem of her apron. “No,” she muttered. “I’m a swan.”
A raven croaked somewhere in the woods. Wind whispered in the autumn leaves.
Then: “I think I can guess,” the old woman said slowly. “Husband stole your swan skin and forced you to marry him?”
A nod.
“And you can’t turn back into a swan until you find your skin again.”
A nod.
“But I reckon he’s hidden it, or burned it, or keeps it locked up so you can’t touch it.”
A tiny, miserable nod.
“And then you hear that old Granny Rothbart who lives out in the woods is really a batty old witch whose father taught her how to turn princes into swans,” the old woman sighed. “And you think, ‘Hey, stuff the old skin, I can just turn into a swan again this way.’
“But even if that was true – which I haven’t said if it is or if it isn’t – I’d say that I can only do it to make people miserable. I’m an awful person. I can’t do it out of the goodness of my heart. I have no goodness. I can’t use magic to make you feel better. I only wish I could.”
Another pause. “If I was a witch,” she added.
The housewife chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she drew herself up and, for the first time, looked the old woman in the eyes.
“Can you do it to make my husband miserable?”
The old woman considered her options. Then she pulled the wand out from the umbrella stand by the door. It was long, and silver, and a tiny glass swan with open wings stood perched on the tip.
“I can work with that,” said the witch.
#swan maiden#the wild swans#swan lake#fairy tales#short story#microfiction#narrativia#10k#20k#30k#40k#50k
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I once had a landlord offhandedly mention that his mother had set this house on fire before. He and his wife lived on the first floor, and i rented the third.
Apparently his mom didn’t like his wife. So she set their house on fire. The house i was living in.
He assured me that everything was fine now and that this was years ago, just kinda laughed, smiled, and said ‘You know how moms are’
Yes. I know how moms are. I know how fucked up moms are as well. I have known many fucked up moms and fellow children of fucked up moms.
Attempted murder through arson is not typical mom behavior, even for a fucked up abusive mom
Oh, and his mother lived next door 🙃
#story time with sair#i might follow up with more#that was a wild living situation even for me#family owned#two neighboring houses of six units total#all of them one family/lived there decades#except the one unit rented out to me
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I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.
#feminism#media criticism#this doesn't apply to media with large casts of female characters where one or the other is uncommonly outspoken or ahead of her time#and it is dealt with realistically in the setting#im not saying women in the past couldnt be wild and headtsrong and revolutionary#i just think treating it as an essential whenever a female love interest gets added to a historical story about some man is wearing
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LINKTOBER DAY 8: GORON CITY
Not featured here: bludo’s off in akkala because he and bolson company’s getting paid to work on architecture.
Very featured here: yunobo’s crippling anxieties only exacerbated by well meaning neighbors.
Definitely now my headcannon: bludo taught yunobo welding, and by the goddesses he's going to use that power for great evils (or goods)
This is an au of totk where time travel doesn’t happen! If you want to see more here’s my crimes:
And here’s my patreon!
#critdraws#familiar familiar au#lonks diary#art#botw#zelda#link#breath of the wild au#tears of the kingdom au#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#death mountain#gorons#yunobo#goron#totk au#totk#botw au#totk link#totk zelda#botw link#botw zelda#zelink#legend of zelda#loz#tloz#the legend of zelda#you can't be mean to me im spinning this story from the seat of my pants#bludo's now in akkala#everytime somebody's mean to yunobo now zelda gets war flashbacks of her priestess days
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but we both know you can't.
I was thinking about the wheeler arc and how twilight was unable to kill yuri because he knows it would break yor. and then i thought that if yuri was the one to find out who twilight was first, it would probably be the same situation but reversed.
many implications .......
#i would totally read a story exploring how the hell it would go down if yuri found out twilight's identity but had his hands tied because#he knew yor loved him#cannot write it but would totally read it LMAO#i just think yuri is a real wild card#if yor and loid are the queen and king then he's the joker or something idk LMAO#spy x family#my art#loid forger#sxf#yuri briar
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Literally why I love Horikoshi, he truly knows how to break someone through such an incredible story of love
when he says he hates you but
gets upset when you keep secrets from him and cries and confides and vents to you alone in the moonlight and doesn't once stop you from calling him by his childhood nickname and never outright insults your interests and sometimes even indulges them and says things like keep your eyes on me and don't you dare look away and tells you not to come after him when he's in danger because he knows you and actively helps you succeed so he can fight you to the top and runs to his literal imminent death with no hesitation to save you and chases you relentlessly when you try to fix everything alone and can't say I love you so he says I'm sorry for everything instead and gently catches you in the rain and says I know because he truly does
when he says he hates you but loves you in Every. Other. Possible. Way.
#horikoshi#bnha#bkdk#mha#in tears#this story is wild#manga#vigilante#cannon#I know this ain’t marvel#but this is life#ahhhhhh
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wildest diva in the life series
#if i said she was the best life character. what then#consistently her story is always the most interesting to me. hers and martyns#spark draws#pearlescentmoon#wild life#wild life smp#wlsmp#life series#trafficlife#trafficblr#blood#blood tw
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Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.
Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for one of their own filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance! The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!
...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...
Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.
#Also equally funny is how Bingqiu is the peak of romance in the human realm ala Resentment of Chunshan#And any human who heard of Moshang's story would be horrified but also very intrigued by the clusterfuck#Moshang is probably the equivalent of Hannigram across Jianghu#minus the cannibalism#scratch that there was probably cannibalism there somewhere#Shang Qinghua#Mobei Jun#Moshang#Luo Binghe#Shen Qingqiu#Shen Yuan#Bingqiu#Scum Villain's Self Saving System#SVSSS#Renzha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong#RZFZX#Canon Moshang is wild so I know in-universe fanon Moshang is wilder
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misc. scribblings of my three favorite zelda games bc I found a nice pencil that’s really fun
#u know a pen is good when it causes a minor shift in your art style#skyward sword was such a good game like#peak character dynamics and story I’ll chew on it forever#also wanted to draw twilight saying ‘aw shucks’ like the farmer boy he is#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#twilight princess#skyward sword#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#loz tp#loz ss#botw#totk#princess zelda#Zelda#tp link#ss link#totk link#ss zelink#zelink#groose#midna#skyward sword pipit#prince sidon#skyward sword fi#art#my art
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"Alright then, Cowgirl, show me you know how to ride.”
A piece for my friend @fishing-lesbian-catgirl 's story: Coldshot's Called Shot
It's spicy! If you like it spicy, give it a read! Bonus extra spicy artwork by yours truly featured in the story too
#Do you seek wild west Arknights?? Romance?? A roll in the hay?? Well look no further!#It was fun to draw some illustrations for this story! I hope I get the chance to do it again in the future!#Other pic is seriously spicy though. Gotta read through the story it's towards the end#pixel art#pixel#digital art#artists on tumblr#arknights#art#Jessica#Coldshot
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Good reveal au, where after learning phantom's identity and realizing the atrocities that the GIW have committed (or alternatively, ethical science au, where they find out the GIW plagarized them), the fenton parents decided to create the 'ultimate ghost-ending weapon' and sell it to the agents.
They go absolutely overboard, describing to the agents in meticulous detail how it evaporates any ghost it hits near-instantly and describing it quite ruthlessly in the blueprints, and soon the GIW have raplaced all their main weapons with the new gun.
Except it doesn't actually kill ghosts. It's the Fenton Bazooka. You know, the one that creates a portable portal to suck the ghost back into the ghost zone? What they actually did was retool it slightly to make it look more grusome than it actually is. They even added a beacon in Phantom's Keep, which all Fenton Bazookas will target when they open a portal, so the ghosts are always delivered to the keep.
From there, Phantom stationed an emergency medical team at the keep to treat the many injured and ragged ghosts that the GIW 'destroyed,' and to explain what just happened.
What they didn't anticipate was that now that the GIW have a mass-produced weapon that they believed would effectively eradicate ghosts, they would go on the offensive. They have a number of cities they've been monitoring but didn't want to get involved in without better tools.
One of those cities is Gotham.
And the Bats are ectocontaminated enough to register as ghosts.
Batman witnessed several of his children get evaporated by green energy weapons within mere moments of each other. He's absolutely gutted. Devastated. They didn’t even stand a chance.
He'll get his revenge, and it's frighteningly easy to track the weapon to private subcontractors. The Doctors Fenton, in Illinois. Their research calls for the genocide of all ghost kind, and apparently, that war started by killing his own children.
His children will not die in vain.
He gets to Amity Park and finds the Engineer's Nightmare of a building that is Fentonworks, but that night, before he can hack through the security and break in, one of the windows opens.
It's one of his kids that he had watched evaporate before his very eyes. They give him a silent signal of one of their identifying security codes and gesture for him to come inside.
Is it a trap? A prank in poor taste? Utterly genuine?
He goes through the window.
All of his dead kids are there, wearing borrowed pajamas and only their dominoes to conceal their identities. Daniel Fenton (son of the Fentons, this is his bedroom, has voiced a few arguments against his parent's views, but still an unknown) is among the crowd of teens and young adults, twirling on an office chair and obnoxiously sipping a capri sun.
"First thing you need to know, Bats," Daniel says after finishing his drink, "is that my parents are absolutely NOT genocidal ectophobic scumbags, and that is the reason why your kids are still alive."
#the bats are not the first human liminals that the giw 'killed'#whenever humans land in the keep frostbite immediates calls phantom to take them back to earth#alternate scene at fentonworks:#bruce spies maddie on the phone and overhears her saying she'll 'inform batman when he arrives'#its frostbite/phantom on the phone telling her to keep an eye out for any bats because some of their team was 'killed'#and shortly after she spots batman spying on her and gestures for him to come in#and when theyre both in the lab the spectre speeder returns chock full of various bats and team phantom members#needless to say bruce is very relieved and incredibly confused#and his kids have a pretty wild story to tell#i deliberately left which kids vague#but i imagined jason and tim for sure and possibly two others#they hadnt left fentonworks yet as to not inform the giw that they survived and knowing that bruce would find them#it would also give away the fenton's trick and dont want to reveal that before the agency has been stopped#so they have to make a plan that doesnt reveal that theyre alive or expose the fentons deceit too quickly#the fentons may have to be temporarily arrested by the justice league while the investigation is ongoing#to hide the fact that they werent actually helping the giw#dpxdc#dp x dc
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#this is one of you guys isnt it#bruce springsteen#song: wild billys circus story#<- likely song to comment this on
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LINKTOBER DAY 7: goron hot springs!
Link and zelda are sent to death mountain to “deal with the problem” via Purah. Yunobo is tired.
(Recasting Death Mountain to be slightly on fire! I love it when things are on fire.)
More of my zelda au here! (It’s totk without the time travel)
My patreon’s here if youd like to support my crimes :0
#critdraws#familiar familiar au#lonks diary#art#botw#zelda#link#breath of the wild au#tears of the kingdom au#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#death mountain#gorons#yunobo#goron#totk au#totk#botw au#totk link#totk zelda#botw link#botw zelda#linda (its the new zelink tag trust me)#anyways what if i set death mtn back on fire and gave it floating rocks#totk did the eldin region and the goron story line a dirty#legend of zelda#loz#tloz#the legend of zelda#tw swearing
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The Barbie movie looks AMAZING and I'm down for whatever it is they are planning to release into the world. It's campy. It's kitsch. It's earnest. It's pink. IT'S PERFECT. And the only thing that would make it even more perfect would be a post-credits scene where it's revealed that the whole plot was play-acted by an 8-year old child playing with their dolls.
#look i played with barbies no matter how wild the plot of that movie gets#i guarantee you that whatever stories 8 year old me came up with were wilder#barbie#barbie 2023#barbie movie#greta gerwig#margot robbie#ryan gosling#nym's posts
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Grey Reaper ( Lanius excubitor ) " My sweet summer child, what do you know about horror, about fear? Let me tell you a story about the Grey Reaper. The story of how I lost my only brother. It happened on the last day of October, long before you were born and I was still a young girl. My grandfather told me a story about an old beast, he called it the Grey Reaper. The beast appeared only during the autumn preceding the most harsh and long winters. Reaper hunted during the day, while everyone was working in the fields, members of our tribe disappeared without a trace. I always thought these stories were just fairy tales, until one day I saw him with my own eyes! Together with my brother and father we were gathering nuts for the winter in an old orchard. Suddenly everywhere fell eerily silent, in the forest and the field. Then, I heard a terrifying croak, the air whistled, the grass around me bent. I turned around and looked into the cold, black eyes of the beast. Those black empty eyes haunt me to this day. One moment later the beast flew away with my brother in its claws. Everything happened so fast, and at the same time as if time was frozen. My father grabbed his backpack and a spear and ran after the beast, straight to its lair, trying to save my brother! It was a place from the worst nightmares. The smell of blood and death was everywhere. To reach the place where the beast rested, one had to fight their way through a maze of thorny branches on which the Reaper impaled his victims. I tell you my child, many beasts roam these forests, many predators threaten us and hunt us for food... but the Reaper did it for fun! Father returned to us badly wounded, unfortunately it was too late for my brother. Father never spoke of what happened there and we never asked. No one has seen the Grey Reaper since. But I'm still afraid to go out into the fields and orchard in the fall, the beats still haunt me in nightmares, I'm still afraid he'll come back..."
I remember when many years ago, I first heard about the Great Grey Shrike and its habits, I couldn't believe it! Since then, this bird has always fascinated me and stimulated my imagination. Especially in the context of how terrifying its habits must have been for the creatures like gnomes. I always wanted to place this bird in the "Furry Demon" stories / universe, and I finally did! Nature is truly extraordinary. If you haven't heard of the Great Grey Shrike ( Dzierzba Srokosz ) before, I recommend checking it out, but it's not for the faint of heart :)) Cheers! work process: https://jrozalski.com/projects/AZQqZN
#illustration#art#painting#storyteling#wild nature#nature#birds#grey shrike#digital painting#gnomes#folk stories#horror
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