#this song kills me every time but i love it so so much

[cincodenada]

[ID: Two sapphics laying naked in a river kissing passionately. One is half-submerged on their back, head resting on a rock, knees up; the other laying on top of of the first, between their legs. The first person has their hands in the dark curly hair of the second. The folds of the second's belly rest on the first's raised thigh.] Heads up that this book is available to borrow for free on The Internet Archive, and the poem paired with this photo by two-spirit poet and activist Chrystos is also so lovely:

In the Wild River of Your Arms

where I'm carried to wet silk plunging I lean into your strong back which doesn't give in the sharp turns of touch Bears me through nightmares & changing faces lights racing a glitter of deep kisses in darkness I didn't know was my home until you held me & would not let go

In the wild river of your laughter nothing I do is crazy or too much or can't be understood with time No need for lies because you've no accusations Grinning you embrace all that I am even what I don't want of myself

In the wild river of your tongue I travel light years away from everyone who has lain with me claiming some corner of my spirit as their own

read meanings into me without my knowledge or consent made me afraid of my own desire ploughed me with confusion as they called arid sand a verdant bank tried to kill all that surges clear in me a wild river uncontained without a name

In the wild river of your cunt where I am first to shake you free & screaming wildly I swim against the tide of brutal discarded husband shame & rocks of regret for a woman who would not give you this water we drink as though the desert burns on every side I ride you lightly as a birch bark canoe in late spring melt catching your wrists in a seine of desire new & trembling as this wind breathing between us bringing song

In the wild river of your soul I've known you clear green & true your hands carry no deception no bribes My brother calls you a good old gal & loves your laugh I remember the child I was before my uncle sliced her into debris I see a long ribbon of our lives flashing with the hope of home I thought couldn't be

In the wild river of your eyes I wash up new alive with colors I open the deep pool of my tenderness

& float you down where our toes are dancing on rocks like crawdads waving hello with long feelers Light as a leaf boat skimming the lights my tongue is fishing for your pleasure sweet water sweet grass in the wild river of our arms

for Denise

Photograph by Vita C. Shapiro

source: The Wild Good: Lesbian Photographs & Writings on Love, edited by Beatrix Gates

[dross-the-fish]

I have to know. What do you mean by "Jealous of Christine" I thought it was just Meg? Were there more?

I've touched a little on how ALW treats Carlotta, basically depicting her as a squawking over hyped-prima donna, even worse in the 2004 movie because it's actually shown that no one around her thinks she's a good singer, everyone hates her and they're just trying to appease her ego. There was no need to take that extra step of making her untalented, it actually, in my opinion, weakens Christine's triumph if Carlotta is that incompetent. And then he kind of repeats that with Meg Giry but goes EVEN HARDER into making her un-likeable and implying that she is not as talented as the untouchable Christine Daae. Meg is completely pathetic, head over-heels in love with someone who doesn't know she exists. It's implied she sold herself to help him fund his weird Coney island amusement park and meanwhile...she's depressed and abused by everyone around her and in the end she looses her mind and kills Christine. You'd think that would make the character at least a little sympathetic right?

Nope, ALW does not want you to sympathize with Meg, he turns her into an obsessive, jealous villain and every time she performs on stage her songs are the cringiest, most intentionally obnoxious, parodies of vaudeville performances. Because, see...she's not a REAL opera singer like Christine. It's staggering how little respect or sympathy ALW has for this character. She is pretty much just there to be a punching bag who has some kind of psychotic break at the end because Erik doesn't love her because she can never be Christine. That's it, the show acknowledges Meg's suffering but immediately undermines it by warping it into an unhinged jealousy for Christine. It's disgusting. Andy who hurt you? Is this about your ex wife? Get help. And don't get me wrong, LND resents Christine to. It's such an obvious "She should have chosen Erik" fan-fic, even so Erik is absolutely reprehensible in this. Like, holy shit he is the worst he's ever been and at one point he even threatens to kill Christine's child. Um...bro? Didn't you let her go? Didn't you give her your blessing? Why are you still acting like this????? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING? What happened to your redemption arc???? HELLOOO??? And then there's Raoul who....isn't even Raoul. Idk what this character is but that's not our boy. This guy, Douchenozzel Drunkerson, who wandered in and replaced Raoul is an abusive drunk with a gambling problem. He hates his wife and his kid because...he is drunk. Idk if he suspects the kid isn't his, it's not really stated anywhere that he does but he's consistently mean to both Gustave (I hate this little twerp too tbh) and Christine (Who has no personality out side of "pretty voice." and I'm getting kind of tired of her too tbh.) Why is all of this? For what? To punish Christine for not choosing Erik? Idk, I have a very strong suspicion that ALW actually hates women because he cannot seem to write them 90% of the time without making them suffer or having them be nothing more than props or at worst, targets, for the male lead.

[givemea-dam-break]

something incredibly fulfilling but also terrible and heart-wrenching about studying while burying the dead plays in the background

[makuyi13]

Lucy, X-Men is because of me? Wow...

Batman TAS, Wednesday, Heartstopper (I don't have Netflix)

All my socks look the same

I have smoothie trauma. My mum, convinced that me and brother were slow eater sat anything but smoothies, fed us blended monstrosities for five years in elementary school. I can no longer drink 99.99% of smoothies, but the 0.01% I can drink are pretty good.

It depends on the occasion and my gender.

Soft-boiled with salt.

Anything close by that fits between pages. Or a dog-ear.

Black, because I own many, many of the free black T-shirt that my youth ensemble gives out every year. After that, blue.

I used to collect Japanese erasers. I still have them.

I'm very bad at smelling anything but peanuts (allergic). I like the sound of the ocean.

I love it when they give us a bunch of book quotes to pick from.

I wear glasses half the time.

He never says he'll do something if he doesn't want to do it. Only if he wants to. And if he wants to, he'll do it if it kills him. This is my favourite thing about him, but also my least favourite.

Pencil

Home for me isn't as much a place as it is a person, a feeling, an action, a food, a moment, a situation. It's when I'm by people I love and I can feel okay with myself being with them for once and we're just vibing.

I have a good few houseplants. None have names.

I have an oversized beige hoodie that says "Lothlórien: Home of Lembas Bread" with the Leaf of Lórien on it. It's really comfy, and I got it printed in Vietnam. I've had it for several years now.

Some rings

I wouldn't want to have watched anything from history. Sorry.

Harry Potter

Geometry

I love those classical sculptures of women. I just love them.

Iced

It's either another '80s song or some really sad song about betrayal and stuff.

I don't know.

I have my ears pierced once. I would like a second piercing right next to it. As for tattoos, none, thanks. The most I'll go is a temporary finger tattoo.

I can't cook for shit but I can bake muffins. And earl grey lavender cookies with lemon glaze.

No. They're all on my violin case.

Yes.

Yes. I don't remember what my favourite set was.

It's organised in some areas. On the left we have all the jeans, pants, and in drawers, underwear and socks. In the center, it's a free-for-all. On the right, we have shirts and a few sweaters and hoodies. We are Asian, so shoes go by the door, not in the closet.

"Please Don't Say You Love Me" by Gabrielle Aplin

Blue. A cosmic blue, probably.

Headphones.

Yes.

His name is Peter, and he is a tan dog with dark brown ears.

I'm decent at the what-is-it-called-the-little-soccer-guys-in-a-box?

I don't care.

Hello? Everything I watch and listen to is alien to my friends.

My friend vented to me.

Citrus.

Maple.

Yes. I don't have a favourite.

On

I hand people the exact amount of money. Occasionally, I don't, and I just shove it back in my wallet.

It fluctuates from being the most beautiful handwriting and being horrendous.

Nothing that comes to mind.

Yes, unless I'm in the middle of something.

They're all the same.

Pretend it's not raining.

Dark, silent, in my bed, kind of cool, but not hot; two blankets, specifically one thin, one thick. The thin one under the thick one.

ASK ME ABOUT ANY OF THIS

50 Questions Just Because

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

[itspileofgoodthings]

my romantic self-esteem is just absolutely rock-solid. for whatever reason!

[rogers-attic]

i love steve and rogers relationship sm omg its so cute. like ik they are suppose to have a ‘brother-type’ relationship but i legit feel like steve would think of rog as a brother to him. like whenever he was old enough to realize he had an older sister he wished he had a brother to hang out with instead. whenever stan brought home roger from area 51 steve immediately fell in love with roger and knew they would have a great bond with each other which ofc they do.

having roger around meant he could now do and play things with him that hayley might not want to do like like perhaps make forts with him or play truth or dare or camp in the backyard and even to this day in his teens doing things like camping in steves room and their ‘wheels and the legman’ get up.

most siblings tho they canonically have their moments of bickering, betrayal, and pettiness and have temporary times where they want nothing to do with each other but in the end though they always still love one another 💕

[jackass-jones]

Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*

[ansy-tea]

Y'all ever stopped listening to your favorite bands for about 2 years for reasons you don't even know yourself. Maybe it's because you're busy. Maybe it's because you thought you've acquired new tastes. You really don't know. But then suddenly you listened to one song of theirs again and now you're sobbing over how good the songwriting was? And now that you're not a dumb High Schooler without much experience you understand the lyrics even more?

Anyways that's me with Fall Out Boy right now lmao. It's high time I listen to their new album later.

[gardenofhope]

I get incredibly emotional every time I hear the title screen music for pikmin 4

[wheelercore]

I could write an essay on tedkaren and who else around here could do that PLUS be right about everything

[nicejewishgirl]

I need to get the energy to shower but I’ve had Lana del Rey’s last 4 album’s on repeat all day and I kinda feel emotionally gutted and sleepy.

[cosmiicfairy]

.

[queers4years]

every time it rains instead of snows in the winter I wanna kms ngl

[leapinarmadillo]

omg... the first Jacksons album. michael going CRAZY on the adlibs. Show You The Way To Go? gold medal in vocal acrobatics. the variety! he goes high, low, smooth, growly.. he's more percussive than he's ever been. a king is BORN.

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.