#this site has ruined me
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This website has actually ruined me because why did i see this
and immediately think
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I got reminded of the spn reference in tlou2 and now when i come across the note all I can see is this
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A friend of mine is a film minor and mentioned making a beat sheet for one of her classes and I had to keep a straight face while surrounded by the entire student body
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yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt
this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt
ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me
#ransomrambles#like a friend of mine in absolute genuineness told me how my skin was gonna stop being soft and my hair was gonna thin out#and she obviously wasn't trying to dissuade me from hrt .... but like ..... thanks for leading with that mate#with estrogen it's the - no downsides- people often say there aren't many downsides to taking e - save some erectile dysfunction#but when it's the other way it's - make sure you're really sure cause you're permanently ruining your body forever#like i get that - my skin feels so soft now - is an estrogen experience ..... but the reverse framing is not helping anyone here#that's just all you hear about testosterone hrt - a list of downsides you'll have to cope with#idk this isn't a fully constructed thought#like i said trans girls deserve the space to have that conversation#i just need to not be in that space cause it obviously hits me differently#but man the sheer volume of trans girls talking about the /damage/ t has done to them .... in dis tinguishable#the aside to this is also a lot of girls being like i realized i was a girl cause of xyzq#and the list is the same as the one my mother used to be like - see you must be a girl#so it's just tough#competing access needs are hard to manage#and that's why life is best on the curate your own experience webbed site
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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#liv and maddie#fanfiction memes#when a pairing is so old you have to go searching on Fanfiction.net 🥲#I left that site 7 years ago for trauma#I appreciate what it has done#but it ruined me
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For HORSES! Oh, yeah, of course. Absolutely where my mind went first.
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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i love when my mom gets mad at me for the internet being slow. as if that's something i have control over
#like girl im sorry the usps site isnt loading while we try to do my grandma's change of address form and that apparently has ruined#the schedule of your entire day. but yelling at ME about it when i in fact am not the internet service provider isn't gonna help#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
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i am SO IRRITATED with @support @staff right now
like this detaching a post from its link to each individual reblog in a chain is a NIGHTMARE
-> new hyperfixation, and i'm trying to backread some of the associated blogs that have been around a while, yeah?
and i'm on mobile, which is relevant because hey fuck app users is i guess the motto?
so used to, if you wanted to read a few months/years back on a blog you could: find a tag of theirs, click on a post that was around the time you were interested in, be ported to the blog's dash AS OF THAT TIME IN THE PAST, and just scroll along
but now, because tumblr, for whatever moronic reason, has isolated posts so that
clicking takes you to an individual pane for *only* that post, not where it is on the blog timeline
AND NOW you CANNOT reach a previous reblog from clicking on the username in the reblog (only the og post)
the ONLY way to get back to older posts is to SCROLL MANUALLY FOR LITERAL HOURS
if i want to see posts from 2017, finding an old post and clicking on it does NOTHING to help me - it has been snipped out of its native environment and shown to me, but the other posts available as links at the bottom pane are just whatever tumblr algorithm thinks are 'relevant', not access to the rest of the blog timeline
this is true EVEN ON MY OWN BLOG and
I HATE IT
either make the Archive function work on mobile or GIVE BACK THE FUNCTIONALITY THAT WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD
#tumblr#GODDAMMIT my hand is tired#i KNOW that on desktop you can hotkey around THAT IS WHY I AM COMPLAINING#the are always desktop workarounds for everything it's only mobile users that get treated like trash#give me back a way to click back to 'prev tags' or whatever and GIVE ME BACK A WAY TO 'GO BACK IN TIME' ON A BLOG#that is the entire FUNCTION of a blog or did you blackout everything you know about wordpress somehow?#the point of a blog as opposed to pure 'social media' say twitter is that it fuctions as a RECORD#posts are supposed to remain accessible not vanish never to be accessed after a few days except by direct link#and direct links don't even work anymore!!! bc now you're requiring people to sign in to see posts and comments#plus a native shared link now takes people to the crappy default 'mobile' view of a post not the ACTUAL BLOG POST#that someone made on their ACTUAL BLOG that has their custom theme and header sidelinks bio etc#nowdays if in my notifications someone says something to me referencing my own tags on a post#and i click on that - i CAN NOT navigate back to my own post to see what my tags even were if i don't remember my exact wording#i have to exit notifications go back to my blog and just ... scroll until i reach that old post just to have a reference#like what the fuck tumblr?#i will say it again: STOP FUCKING WITH THE SITE NAVIGATION we NEED that shit this is not tiktok we find posts on OUR OWN#there's a difference between making something accesdible for new people and flat out ruining original infrastructure
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Oh while chatting with alicia and air I go ‘yeah if life doesn’t work out at least I have the fantasy of quitting my job and going back to office work, then I can at least be miserable in a different way’ & air goes like ‘all of your fantasies are about being miserable in a different way’ & I’m like. ‘N. Not true. There’s the one about getting swept off my feet by a hot rich older woman,’
#my ramblings#if I’m honest a lot of the fantasies I entertain is hitting a button with the potential to go nuclear#whenever you see me talk about joining a dating site to solicit a toxic and terrible outing#that’s what it is.#I mean realistically I’ll either hook no one or have an awkward time at worst#but the fantasy is experiencing something terrible that doesn’t matter at all <3#contained self-destruction.#I know how that sounds. don’t worry about it.#listen all I have is the fantasy because 1) can’t get drunk 2) can’t do drugs#3) can’t get into religion 4) can’t ruin my life with torrid love affair#I have to go through life so sober. so fucking sober. going insane is my only outlet.#life has me on a baby leash
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laksdjf i thought about continuing to make Silly Jokes but people just getting indignant on their own about there being no book option on the bookfair poll is way funnier than any bit i could come up with
#it's okay here is your star for being the most cultured kid in the fourth grade you're free now#this has also enticed a lot of people to inform me in detail of their financial status growing up#fascinating i guess i should have expected people to turn the most harmless poll topic i could think of into something to be mad about#i love this site polls were such a good idea lmfao#i didn't put any books because i knew#i KNEW it would ruin the results because it would devolve into people nitpicking which book i picked#or just listing their own book choice instead of engaging#which is a whole different question!!#and judging by the comments i was RIGHT
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insane a food got named sloppy joe….
#just ate one and it took me back to first grade#but this site has ruined me Bc all i could think is joe must’ve been giving some serious sloppy to get a food named after him
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been going back to my roots and reading a bunch of yuri manga on dynasty reader again, if anyone has any reccs please lmk!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
#my posts#i read all of 'the guy she was interested in wasnt a guy at all' and its cute and i love the art style#but im kinda sick of high school settings lol#but idk after school mate was pretty good so it gets a pass for the hs setting#but if anyone has anything with adult main characters i would appreciate it!!#also i perfer manga where a majority of the story is about them actually acknowledging their feelings#aka no 'i cant tell her my feelings bc i dont want to ruin our friendship' IVE LIVED THAT ENOUGH IRL LET ME GET TO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP#ns/fw stories are fine but i might not get to them right away bc im reading half of these at work lol#also theres actually like manhuas on this site ive seen?? i esp dont know many of those but im totally interested!!!#doesnt have to be on that site either!! links to anywhere else are fine#even if the plot is corny or the writing is goofy...... i just wanna read lesbian comics so bad please....#also i need someone to just like throw manga screencaps at and scream a bit so im also open to that if anyone wants to talk on discord...#👉🏽👈🏽
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tormented by the 2010s and also being the most annoying kind of gay (listening to locked out of heaven immediately followed by judas while nursing a good omens obsession)
#good omens#ineffable husbands ruining my life#reading essays on this site about aziraphale actually not being an idiot#and they are convincing me#i like that this story has a plot built on miscommunication but it doesn't feel like idiot plot
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