#this show has wounded me deeply and I will never recover

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I'm not crying, partly because funny and or wild things kept happening, but my nose is running a bit lol xd it is from allergies though xD

Yk what we're gonna deal with my emotions in a second xD right now I'm just gonna try and focus on the episode lol

Lol the curbs being too high xD

"I know why my sorority sisters hate me" LOL but also go off Ava on the part after that xD

She's too like modern and rebellious or whatever

Yeeahh :'((

SLFKGKDS JESUS CAN APPRECIATE EXTRA HOLES-

Awww and she's friends with them 😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️ yeah :'))

I get that honestly

Awww honey 😭😭

:'O Ava!!

There's some other reason though lol

Ahh the money xD

YES :D GO OFF BARBARA :D :))!!

LOL Ava xD whatever it works

Do we get to see Jacob again 🥺

I mean it'll hurt me but yk

Awww honey 😭😭😭😭❤️💔

Yeah he looks r o u g h o.o xd xDD

I can't place what it is lol but good job because he looks it xD

Yk it must look wild to see me devolve into denial and madness throughout this liveblog for those who have already seen it

. . . Sorry guys xd hope you appreciate my pain

I'm gonna have to watch so many (as many as there are lol) reactions to this 😭 to get that bit of comfort I might be giving some of y'all lol

SLFKGJDKDJKS honestly fits I'm not even gonna lie to you

Him being vengeful xD

OPE that might be a bit of why he looks like a mess o.o xD

His students watching him fall apart in real time like 👁️👄👁️ ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

XD

Aww honey xdd

Oogh okay yeah so heee's not moving out you are xd

:O is he gonna live with Gregory

Y'all oh my gosh that would be wild-

The story opportunities would be there for adjusting to each other o.o 👀

It would be cool :O :D though honestly I'm not sure I could take that xD. Too much sadness and embarrassment around each other lol.

It already is with an f

PVITJAUCNALAJEHSINHD NEVERMIND I GET IT

Gregory's face helped with that xd

Mr. Johnson 💀

XDD

Mr. Johnson now is not the time xD

Aww Gregory I don't think it'll help much but him trying 😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️

Aww yeah it'll work :')) was sacred Jacob would refuse xd

LOL take somebody's eye out xD

Aww inviting Janine :)

What did Zach usually do that xd

SLFKGHDKDS

OH RIGHT LOL (that's what the keysmash is about lol)

This lady xD

Girl must be so confused xD

Aww honey xdd

XDD Janine lol

Poor sub xd I mean hopefully they do lol

Aww or missing Janine :')

Awww being home alone :'((

If I get Melissa Jacob bonding over this I would not complain 👀

About the bonding I mean I would still about the breakup lol

Anyway xD

Aww Janine yeah :D

May e not quite like that but xD

Nah okay lol

I mean it might be and she's just saying it's not xd lol

Ayy Barbara :DD!!

I don't think it did but xdd

Nope xd :'//

I'm sorry Barbara that sucks :((

I bet Ava helped out though :D

Or will :)

LOL xD the all the same bit

Nahh Ava interfered didn't she xD

SKFJDKS yep

AWWWW stop that's so sweet :'OO :'DD

Oh my gosh 😭😭❤️❤️❤️

YEAHH GO BARBARA :'DDD

Ooh this is a bop :o :D!

AWWWW YEAHH SLAYYY :'DDD

Melissa looking so proud :'))

Jacob is also going through it so hey hopefully it helps him a bit too xdd

I'm glad to see him and Janine sitting next to each other

AYY BARBARA SING ITTT

GO OFF GIRL :DD

AYY XD MR. JOHNSON LOL

WHAT???!?!!?

AYO MR. JOHNSON WHAT???!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT XDDD???!!?!

Wild lol was NOT expecting that it took me out 💀

Aww the kids dancing :D

Awww Jacob and Janine dancing :DD :))

SLFKGHDKD STUCK TO ONE SONG XDDD

Lol her whole discography xD

"This is a public school!" SLFKGHDKS XDD YEAH LOL that's what I was thinking a bit too a minute ago xD

Lol they all look so done xD

Not the whistle notes lesson 💀

Okay just to get her to sing a song again lol?

ASLFKGHSKALS NOPE LOL

Iconic love that Ava xDD

Okay she's fine and doing to with grace lol love that for her xD

Well that was a slay ending xDD

Anyway I did not deserve that though :)) about the episode overall :)) honestly I'm still in denial xdd

Anyway! Great episode lol loves it, also hate it with a burning passion xD. Some really funny moments though :D. More on the review side of things in a second (or maybe tomorrow because my hands and brain are very tired lol).

Love y'all!!

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

the snap (Matt Murdock x fem-reader )

Summary: after the blip Matt was blipped away. But what happens when he shows up after everyone comes back?

Part 2 Warnings: angst, I mean it this time ok? I teared up writing this. But with fluff it has a happy ending trust me. Im dyslexic so there are probably/definitely going to be spelling errors. (I’m trying yall. Let me know how I did my first fic for Matt I think I’m going to make a part 2. Please comment if you can and reblog are appreciated if you want ❤️) mentions of pregnancy and childbirth and children

My eyes take in the childrens bedroom. It was small and quant but cozy. The nightlights lit up the room and my five year old daughter was layed down on the soft pastel blankets. I sit down on the side of her bed. She was so beautiful, her sweet brown eyes and brown hair. Her name was angel Murdock, She resembled Matt so much, sometimes it even hurt to look at her. It showed his best attributes on her. Even though she was only five years old she was already fearless, the teachers at the preschool always say she’s already getting in fights with the bullies in the class, no fist fights yet thankfully. It was her bedtime so you were finishing up reading a story to her about a princess and prince who fought a dragon.

“And they lived happily ever after the end” I kiss her forehead. And get up from her sleepy form.

“mommy, why do all the other kids have dads?”

Her question struck me in the heart. Leaving a wound size I couldn’t even patch up after patching up so many of Matt’s wounds. But I remain calm and collected like her words were just a simple question. Which they were, she’s just a curious child, there is no way that she knows how deeply I am affected by them. I twist my diamond ring on my finger and bite my lip trying to figure out how to answer this question without terrifying her. I can’t lie to her, I promised I would never lie to her.

“Angel, your father….went away. Hes gone he went with another half of the universe”

“will he be comeback?”

“no, no he won’t” I answered quietly trying to keep myself from sobbing. God I feel so weak, it’s been five years! Fiver years and I still can’t get over his death

“did he leave because of me?”

“no! No, he never knew about you sweetie. He was taken before he knew”

I take a shaky breath and kiss her on the forehead “goodnight” I leave her now asleep form and creep to the kitchen. I look down and the sink and I can’t take it anymore. Grief racks my body as sobs come out in waves. Why? Why did you have to leave I know you didn’t do it on purpose but why? It’s so unfair. Mathew I miss you. I know The city needed but mainly I needed you. I bring my knees up to hug my chest. I feel so weak, so fucking weak it’s been 5 years and I still haven’t recovered. I tpull myself together and wipe my tears mainly because I hear noises outside. A lot of noises. Screams, cries, laughter, sobs. I run to the window and open the curtain. Hundreds and hundreds of people are flooding the streets. Some are hugging, kissing, others are just staring in disbelief. Poeple are running in all directions and so so many of them are confused. Who are these people? Where did they come from? Could they he the ones who were snappe—

Knock! knock! knock!

the noise of someone at my door shattered my trail of thoughts like a broken mirror, breaking me of my trance. Who on earth. Or any planet for that matter would be calling to me at this hour? I tentatively get up. Cross the room and open the door, I was not prepared.

there. Right there stood my husband dead for 5 years after the blip. He stood in his lawyer suit in the doorframe. Just as he was before he left. He’s exactly the same. To him no time has passed at all. But I’m sure he’s heard it’s been 5 years on the streets. My body is rigid from shock utter shock. He takes off his red glasses so I can see his face again. A small gasp escapes my mouth as my eyes lay upon him again. Hes so gorgeous it actually hurts. Makes my heart ache. To say I felt conflicted would be an understatement I was downright a wreck inside. He so damn pretty. Was all I could really think. my shaky hand reaches up and caresses his face as if feeling he’s actually there and this isn’t some hallucination.

“sweetheart, I’m real” he smiles

“I-i Matt you were dead—you-you—oh!” I choke out in sobs

I seizes his head and he walks closer to me closing the door. I kiss him desperately like a woman starved. The kiss is searing and leaves us gasping for air. As soon as we break the seal we dive into it again and I let out a small whimper that allows him to slip his rougue into my mouth. I immediately submit to him and let him take the dominance. After sometime in a log swaying kiss. We stumble towards the couch where he tries to explain to me what happened but with me kissing his neck desperately it’s hard for him. In the five years he was gone I never took a lover. I couldn’t bring myself to. I was always thinking about Mathew even if he was just in the back of my mind. Especially as I walked down the more dangerous streets of Hells kitchen without him.

“sweetheart—sweetheart— “ he lets out a small groan that is music to my ears “are you going to let me know what happened or let me explain” he laughs.

I pull back and bip my lip “sorry”

”I know five years have passed someone on the street told me that after they did I ran to find you I’m sorry—“ his head tilts to the side as if he’s picking up something “there’s another heartbeat in the apartment”

I take his hands “Matt this is a lot to take in I know but….”

“y/n you can tell me anything” the way my name rolls of his toung sounds like honey. He runs his finger over my silk nightgown, his favorite fabric. He takes his time training my figure and them cup up to claps both my hands again “anything”

Reassured now I start my tale “the day of the blip was also the day I found out I was pregnant. Turns out half the universe was blipped away. You’ve been gone for five years now. The pregnancy was hard, half the doctors were gone, you were gone. Without many people to support it was hard but, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, who looks so much like you. I named her angel Murdock.”

he’s silent for a bit. I feel sorry I know how much it is to take in “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you sweetheart. I left you and everyone behind. God I feel so guilty.”

“Mathew there is nothing to apologize for! You couldn’t control it!”

We’re silent for a bit and I wonder if he’s listening to angel’s heartbeat. He beams “I can’t believe I’m a father.” He laughs “ironic isn’t it?”

“what is?”

“the devil is the father of an angel” he muses. His face is bright and happy

“I never thought of it that way” I ponder “she’s already fearless like you”

“Hm, maybe not a good thing. But she sure has the Murdock fighter genes. I’m just sorry I missed the pregnancy and everything”

“well we could always try again?”

“I’d love that” he purrs into my ear in his deep voice. And his head rests in the crook of my neck as he leans into my body. And I’m so so starved for touched after all these years I hold onto him like he’s the last thing in the world. I practically melt into his touch as I haven’t been intimate like this in so long.

“don’t leave me” i whisper

“no sweetheart” his strokes my hair “im never leaving you again”

it feels so comfy with his bodyweight on mine on the couch we don’t even bother to move to the bed as we fall asleep there that night not wanting for a second to leave each other’s arms. It would be hard to explain to to angel who this man she never met was will figure that out in the morning. Things are always better in the morning. No things are always better now that’s he’s back. Everything seems fixed, my whole world.

[yukachaan]

Found family anime recommendation list

I've been thinking about making this rec list for a while because found family is my absolute favorite trope, so this is really self indulging haha 🤭

these are just some of my personal favorites, but if you guys have more recommendations please add them!

(This list contains spoilers!)

1. Dororo- absolutely heartbreaking and beautiful. the two main characters, Dororo and Hyakkimaru, develop such a special and precious bond throughout the story, and what makes it even more interesting is that at the beginning, Hyakkimaru is not able to see, hear, or really communicate with Dororo, and he gets those abilities slowly throughout the story (through killing demons haha yes it's that kind of story), so it makes the development of their relationship really unique. Both of them don't have their actual families for different reasons, but I absolutely LOVE the familial relationship they develop!

2. spy x amily - everyone's new favorite family lol. I don't think I need to elaborate, I love the little family they've built. it's so cute how all three of them have their own selfish reasons to want to keep this family unit, but at the same time care so deeply (and obliviously) for each other, I love it! there's not a single character I dislike, there wasn't a single episode i was bored watching (so far). it's like the perfect found family - they found each other, and just created a family instantly haha. If for any reason you're still not watching this, you really really should

3. banana fish - ugh honestly it's hard to find words for this one, it's so so SO good, but also, watch at your own risk, it's been years and my heart still hasn't recovered. The relationship between the two main characters, Ash and Eiji, is so beautiful and touching and tender, and it's so satisfying to watch. Ash deserves all the love omg 😭 I love how they take care of each other, how it's obvious to everyone how much they love each other. and i hate how it ended but that's a talk for another time...

4. Run with the wind - ok so i think most sports anime have an aspect of found family - your teammates become kinda your family, and friendships and bonds are usually the main focus. but i think it's especially highlighted in run with the wind - it's a show about running a marathon, and it's in a university setting (which already makes it more interesting lol). i LOVE connections between the characters. here as well, there's not a single character i dislike. even king who i didn't really care about in the beginning, I grew to love so much by the end. and Haiji might be my favorite character of all times. like throughout all platforms, he's my favorite. he created this team and he made them a family and i just wish i had a haiji in my life, you know? 😭

5. march comes in like a lion - ok, so, this one is especially precious to me, and i think it's my favorite anime of all times. officially, the show is about a boy who plays shogi professionally, and it is a part of it, but there's so much more to this anime. I've never watched anything that handled depression, and the journey of getting better, in a more accurate way than this show. the main character, Rei, is an orphan, and has a really complicated life story. he meets these three sisters, and is kinda invited to be a part of their little family. the relationships in this show are so touching and tender, even when nothing sad was happening i found myself crying. the sisters basically adopt rei, and little by little help him heal some of his wounds. the visuals of this show are perfect, you can feel everything rei is feeling. the sisters' house feels warm and inviting, while other spaces feel cold and disconnected. it's brilliant. also, the show handles the different characters with so much care, you end up caring about them all. i can go on forever lol, it's a masterpiece.

6. kids on the slope - another brilliant show. this is a slice of life, and the focus is on the friendship of three teens in the 60's. i love this one because even though they all have families that play a part in the story, they still become like a family to one another. their relationships are so touching, and so realistic. it deals with jealousy and friendship and love and loneliness in such a realistic, relatable way. for example one of the boys gets really jealous when his friend gets a new friend, it makes him lash out in such an unreasonable way, but at the same time you can totally relate to what he's feeling, because like, which one of us hasn't been there, right? i really recommend! (Also, the music is absolutely fantastic!)

7. Umibe no Etranger- maybe some people would think this doesn't belong here, but i totally think that along with love, this movie is totally about found family 😊 the two main boys are both on their own, Mio because he was orphaned, and Shun because he lost connection with his family after coming out. throughout the story, they become each other's family and support system (especially if you keep reading the manga like i have hehe🤭). i love their relationship so much!

8. fruits basket - again, maybe it's not the main trope, but it's definitely very much there! tohru, who is left without a family, finds a new family in the form of the very dysfunctional sohma family, that cares about her immensely, while she also cares about them and helps them heal and break their curse. i never read the manga or watched the old anime, and i didn't expect this to be as deep and painful as it was, but honestly one of my favorite shows right now.

9. Poko's udon world - so! freaking! cute! is it a ploy to make people have families and kids? perhaps. do i care? nope. Poko is the cutest child character ever, and the parent-child relationship between sota and poco is so precious, this is the most literal definition of a found family lol- sota found poco and basically instantly adopted him. the story is really touching and cute!

10. Clannad + Clannad after story - ugh i don't know if I'm able to talk about this one again, as it makes my heart hurt. this is one of my all time favorites. i think even though it's a love story, above all else it's a story about family. i wasn't sure if it fits the "found family" category but decided it does. even before nagisa and tomoya get married, tomoya is basically adopted by nagisa's family. they take him in to allow him some distance from his father, and show him how happy and loving a family can be. Also, all the friendship in the story are meaningful and have a familial feel to them. throughout the show there's a lot of focus on the subject of family, which leads to the main characters creating their own new little family unit. if you've been living under a rock i must warn you, I've never cried this much while watching a show in my life. while the ending is a happy one (well... in a bizarre kind of way, i guess), there's so much pain throughout the whole show, it's overwhelming at times. still, it's so so good and i really recommend to give it a try! (please, get through the first season and get to Clannad after story, it's really worth it!)

11. Usagi drop- i also wasn't sure if this fits the found family category, as it deals with an actual family, but wth, it's my list i can do what i want lol. very sweet story about a guy who adopts his grandfather's 6 year old daughter when he dies (yes, his aunt, basically), when no one else in the family wants to take her in. it's very sweet, very touching. they slowly become a family, and he learns what it means to be a single parent, and what sacrifices he has to make (like getting demoted at his job so he'll have more time to take care of his kid). the show is very wholesome, but don't read the manga, as i heard it went in different, less wholesome directions.

12. kotaro lives alone- this show was a ride! i was expecting a silly show about a 4 year old boy who lives alone, and got a heartbreaking show about neglect and trauma. his neighbors become his family throughout the show, and come to love him a lot and take care of him, and their relationships are very entertaining and sweet. ngl, i cried a lot during this show. i do think it deals with some very triggering things, so you should check that before watching 😊

and.. that's it for now! these are the ones i thought about so far, please feel free to add your own recommendations! i would love to get more!

[lunaekalenda]

Goodmorning! If you're feeling it how about L for Suguru for the fluff headcanons?

Hiii!! of course, thank you for asking and i hope you like it!! <3

L - Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?

Suguru's way of loving is warm as a spring day. It's silent, he isn't the type of person to speak up about how he feels, but he shows you how much he cares and how deeply in love he is with you through his acts. Making your favorite dinner when you arrive late, fixing that bracelet you love so much or make sure you always have your favorite scented soap on the shower. That's how things work for him, and you don't expect more. Although there's one day, were you're sleeping by his side, cuddled by his arms and feeling the first rays of the morning on your skin. Warm, as the way he has of loving you. Suguru rests his head on his hand, elbow on the pillow, looking at you with sharp, lovely eyes. He's so incredibly grateful for having you, he can't even put it into words, because he's scared of missing some of the reasons why he's so lucky. Still, he knows fear leads to nowhere, so he traces the shape of your lips with his index, slow, before getting closer for a peck. You open your eyes softly, finding him, long hair framing his handsome features and a side smile on his lips.

"Morning, Suguru." you whisper.

"Morning, sunshine." he whispers back.

The silence is comfortable on the room as both keep your eyes on the other, unable to take them apart, bewitched on your lover. Suguru then caresses your lips again, taking air and bravery to speak.

"I didn't know what love was, you know?" he starts, softly, his fingers exploring more of your features as he speaks. "I thought love was like a bullet, coming fast and without being able be avoided, drilling your heart quickly and leaving a permanent wound." He sighs softly, his finger now on your cheek. "But I was wrong, and I will never stop thanking you for showing me how love feels." You cuddle closer to his body, ready to listen to him. "It was so slowly, so incredible that I only realized how hard in love I was when I was able to kiss you for the first time. I started to think more about you, to wanting to see you, to wanting to spend time with you. To know your likings, to be able to make you smile, to be there for you when the world felt too heavy for your shoulders. To take you to dates and ask you for another one as soon as we were done. To learn about your sleeping manias and your dislikes in movies. I wanted to know which was your favorite kiss and make sure to fill all your body with them. To love double those parts of you that you don't like, and to have enough love for the days you seemed to have none. To hug you when you don't feel alright, because every time you suffer, my heart feels squeezed. " His hand is now on your waist, pulling you closer to his body. "Ever since I've met you, I feel the days more warm. It doesn't matter how tired I am, because when you kiss me, my body feels recovered. I want to take you to so many places just to admire your face, full of excitement and surprise. I wanna walk by your hand, and it doesn't even matter where. As long as we're together, I feel we can face everything, being a pillar for the other, helping to keep us afloat. After all, love is a thing of two people." Suguru sighs strongly, he still feels he has half of his feelings bottled up in his chest. He doesn't know how to keep going. On his side, you look at him, this time, your hand caressing his clavicle, slowly.

"Don't force words, love." You ask him. Your eyes feel teary as you can feel how he struggles. "We have a whole life to tell each other."

Fluff Alphabet Game here!

[whumpshaped]

Yk what I deeply enjoy? Whumpee who used magic for everything not being able to use it at all after the whumper harvested it. I saw you mention that lil tidbit abt that one ask abt the magic drain thing and it won’t leave my brain. So this is a continuation?? idk man.

It’s not like the magic is gone—Whumpee can still feel a well of power inside of them. they just for some reason can’t access it. maybe it’s a trauma response, maybe their body just needs to recover, maybe it’s permanent. Nobody knows.

but whumpee feels like half of themself. they feel broken. even after they had escaped whumper, whumper still had an iron grip on the power they had so aggressively sought. Caretaker watches Whumpee get quiet. Something they never used to be. They’re not eating much, and not gaining much weight back from the incident.

Sometimes caretaker finds them trying to use magic from peeking around corners—leaving whumpee feeling miserable and frustrated that the only reason they were useful in life was evading them.

Truth is, magic is a fickle thing and only when whumpee has accepted themself without it, will it start to come back.

tw past trauma, self-blame, self-deprecation, feelings of uselessness

Whumpee was sitting on the couch, bundled up in several blankets to keep their malnourished body warm. They still hadn't gotten used to it — the cold, the fatigue, the weakness. It was a constant uphill battle. A reminder of all the things they'd lost, things that had been taken from them by force, violently ripped away with nothing but a throbbing wound left in their place.

An invisible one. One they couldn't explain, couldn't show to a doctor, one characterised not by what it was but what it wasn't. It was impossible to grasp, and it seemed impossible to heal.

Nonetheless, they tried to fix it sometimes. They reached out towards objects far away, willing them to float into their hand. They tried to light candles with little sparks of magic. These had all been so normal, so natural before, and now they felt like insurmountable tasks. To anyone on the outside looking in, it must've looked like Whumpee was crazy for even trying; but they felt it. They felt the magic inside of them buzz to life whenever they called on it, hitting a glass wall every single time.

Sometimes they tried to ignore it, but that proved to be equally impossible. There was a constant nagging at the back of their mind, a pull to the life they'd had before and desperately wanted back. Magic had been easy, light, joyous, magic had been their everything. And they knew it was still there. It was calling on them just as much as they were calling on it.

"Come on," they whispered, squinting at one of the half-read books on the coffee table. "Just an inch. Just one."

The book didn't budge. It didn't rise into the air, it didn't even slide across the table towards them. Tears pricked Whumpee's eyes as they pushed and pushed and pushed, only for the core of their magic to deny them access again and again and again.

"Hey, Whumpee," Caretaker said softly, and they quickly looked away from the book, trying not to come across as too depressed.

"Hey."

"In the mood for some lunch?"

Whumpee deflated even further. Truth be told, they weren't. "Uh… thanks, but I think I'll just eat something later."

"You said that about breakfast," Caretaker said cautiously. "Not even a bit of soup? It's your favourite one, too. You must be hungry by now."

Whumpee hummed passively. "Not really."

"Okay, um…" They walked over to the couch and sat down, putting a gentle hand on Whumpee's shoulder. "Do you want to help me make the food at least? Maybe it'd help with the appetite."

"I don't know how to," they admitted quietly. "I don't know how to do anything. Not without… you know."

Magic.

Caretaker offered them a compassionate smile, rubbing their arm a little. "Well, maybe you'll have to learn like the rest of us peasants. I can teach you."

They didn't want to learn. They knew how to do things their way, and learning it all over again in a different, more difficult way sounded like torture to their exhausted mind and body. "Okay," they said anyway, terrified of being perceived as even more of a burden.

They were given the task of peeling potatoes; with a knife, like the average person. Caretaker gave them all the instructions on how to handle it safely, on how to make sure that the actual flesh of the thing didn't get thrown into the garbage, then left them to their own devices.

Their first attempt was humiliating. They took off several huge chunks of perfectly good food, before eventually taking off a chunk of their own finger. Caretaker was gentle when putting a bandaid on it, speaking to them like one would've done so with a child.

"You think you can try again?"

Whumpee grimaced. "I think… I think I should just go back to sleep."

Caretaker handed them the knife with a knowing look. "I think you should try again."

So they did. They moaned and groaned, complained and got frustrated, but they did try again. And the first time they were truly, earnestly happy with their skinless potato, the first time they held it up proudly and with a smile, they could feel a jolt of electricity shoot through their body.

Maybe there were different types of magic in the world. And maybe they could coax each other out.

[greenerteacups]

dear, dear GTC 🩷 i was reflecting on the imagery of your last chapter. when Hermione returned from detention, and when they figured the scars could not be healed by magic. everyone with Muggle exposure scrambled to put together a first aid game plan. i know it crushed Draco to do next to nothing, to watch others assist "his Hermione, his girl." but i was thinking about how you highlighted the way he held her hand, never let it go, all throughout. it got me thinking that this (or their's) is the best kind of friendship. sure, we can't always have a solution or contribute to one, but if we can commit to holding a best friend's hand, to being their scene partner and mirror, to being actively present for the present and unseen future– it's the best kind of friendship, the best 'i will be here, i will love you,' we can ever give. congrats on another new chapter, can't wait to watch this magic unfold 🩷

This is a lovely comment, and I'm so pleased with it. The mechanics of wounds and injuries in the Harry Potter universe are a really fun sandbox, because on the one hand you've got all this magical healing that seems capable of reversing major (normal) injures (broken bones, gashes, wounds) really effectively, but you also have: scars! Harry's extremely visible and inconveniently iconic scar, which no one ever suggests fixing, implying that they can't. Ostensibly because it was created by magic, but still. Same with I cannot tell lies, Ron's scars from the brain vat in the DOM, and Hermione's "mudblood" scar on her arm. It's also much cooler on a subtextual level if magic can heal but not prevent scarring — like, you can recover from almost any wound, but you will never be as you were before it touched you. Sick.

Anyway, the scene in the common room is a chance for Harry to show off the skills he brings to the quartet, apart from being the rallying-point and de facto leader: his upbringing as what is effectively a house servant to the Dursleys means he has a suite of domestic skills that the others don't, e.g. cooking, cleaning, mending, basic first aid. I like this idea a lot as a reversal of the (supposedly) masculine suites of skills that protagonists often bring to the party, e.g. combat, strategy, decisiveness, etc. And it's also, crucially, a moment when magic doesn't help, and there's this sense that for once, being muggle-born/muggle-raised is a significant tactical advantage in the battle they're waging.

And then you have Draco, who is trying to figure out what his place is in all of this, and so far has come up with nothing better than: "by Hermione's side," which is, of course, a very good step, but still isn't a terribly stable foundation to build your identity on. He needs a purpose. After the end of Book 4, he's searching for someone to be that isn't the Draco Malfoy he at one point seemed destined to become, and doing so in the midst of this shocking violence leaves him scared and adrift. Holding her hand creates a lifeline for both of them: for her, a source of comfort and security as she undergoes a deeply harrowing experience, and for him, a source of purpose in an otherwise chaotic scene. They ground each other. I tend to see that as one of the core facets of their dynamic, and it comes especially to the fore in moments of danger/tension, like this one.

[sopiao]

DISDJUSBS OMG. THERE’S THIS PRICE BOT

AND OH LORDY DID THIS FLUFF GIVE ME CAVATIES FROM HOW SWEET IT IS.

anyways. reader (shark) taking care of Price while he’s injured. these r just lil snippets of it 🤭

Out on a mission, Shark had a nice clean shot of the target. It seemed to clean, too clear. He picked a space that would seem hidden only to a blind man, it was like he picked a spot to look like he was hiding but was so obviously out in the open. But, whatever, fuck it. Seemed too much of a waste of time overthink a quick shot to get the mission over with.

But Price saw it, he saw how they lured them into a specific spot that made it look like it would be a perfect spot for them. Long story short (mainly cuz i’m too lazy) he ended up taking the trap for them. It took a couple hours until he could be safely taken to base to get his wounds checked out. He has to stay in that wing for 2 weeks to recover. Critical condition.

Shark felt guilty that they fell for such an obvious trap to get it over with, and he ended up getting hurt. So, they decided to be the one to take care of him. Shark gets to pay their self-debt to him, and the medics don’t have to worry so much about him and who’ll have to monitor him.

“Alright. Got ya’ a grilled cheese aaand a blue Gatorade” Shark entered the room with a paper plate that held the sandwich. Price immediately sat up, ready for his snack but also excited to see them. They set the plate on his lap and the cold blue gatorade on his bedside table.

“Weird combination, but okay” Shark muttered quietly, causing him to chuckle, sitting back on their seat next to his bed. Price hummed deeply after his first bite, the savory taste making him momentarily forget about how sore his body feels.

The fresh scars and stitches on his body were visible. Old ones mixed with new ones. Across his chest was a type of gauze, bandage, and a large patch on his side. The medic suggested that he kept his upper half bare to prevent the fabric from rubbing against the freshly sewn stitches to prevent irritation and prolong the healing process. Fortunately for Shark ,’:)

“Mmph— Never thought a grilled cheese would taste so good” Price groaned, leaning back on the bunchy and wrinkled sheets of the bed, finishing his sandwich and gulping down his Gatorade. Shark slumped back in the wooden chair, propping their feet up on the edge of his bed, flipping through the shitty romcoms on the TV.

It was silent, but not the weird and awkward silence that makes you wanna bury yourself alive then be there. The comfortable silence where you can just space out and just enjoy each other’s company. They were already pretty close, comfortable with each other. They sparred together, ran together, sometimes raced, exercise and eat together.

—

“You’re an ass” Shark laughed, fake punching Price in the chest. He fell back on the bed with a fake pained expression and a over dramatic ‘ow!’. He stayed laying down, turning his head to show them his soft smile that only seemed to appear when Shark was around. He noticed it, everyone noticed it, just not them.

“Ahh— Fuck” Price groaned immediately sitting up and his hand clutching at the center of his chest. A sudden, uninvited, pain rushed from his back to the center of his chest, bursting out. Shark immediately sat up, worried that their fake punch maybe actually did hit him. One hand on his shoulder and the other on his hand that laid on his chest.

“Oh, shit! Sorry— Uhh. Fuck. What do I do?” Panicked and confused. They didn’t know what to do to help, or what to do at all. Price would chuckle at their reaction if his mind wasn’t occupied with how much is chest fucking hurt.

“No— Ngh.. N-no. I’m fine. The doc said it would be like this because of my rib” Price tried his best to explain through short, shallow, breaths. Sucking in long breaths of air through this teeth to try and bear through the pain. It was like getting stabbed all over again.

“Shit— Uh. Is there anything I can do? Water? Pills? Anything?” Shark asked frantically, looking around quickly for anything that speaks out to them to try to help. He only shook his head, too weak to form a sentence, but he wanted to reassure them that he was okay, he wasn’t, obviously.

“Could-could.. you.. uhh” He spoke up, having to concentrate really hard to try and get the words past the stabbing pain and out his mouth. Shark’s head immediately perked up, looking for any way to assist. They saw his other hand was open, palm up, and towards their direction.

Shark was a little taken aback at his request, their captain was a strong and unaffectionate man. So, seeing how he requested for their hand, something to help him push through it. Shark willingly accepted his hand, his large and scared hand somehow seemed softer than it looked. Finding comfort in their touch. Every so often they’d feel him squeeze their hand when the pain got too intense.

—

As much as Shark wanted to stay and watch over Price he didn’t wanna see them leave. They had other duties they had to attend to. But when they came back to visit Price, the doctor immediately took their attention and asked, practically begged, them if they could feed Price soup since he hasn’t been eating much lately, claiming he’s feeling nauseous which doesn’t help the feeding process.

Shark looked down at the warm bowl in their hands, chicken soup. They chuckled as they walked back to his room. They don’t know how they were gonna get him to eat, but they’d at least give it a try.

“Heard you was giving the doc a hard time” Shark chuckled, closing the door behind them. Price let out a soft laugh and rubbed the back of his neck as if he was caught.

“I told him I’m not hungry” Price shook his head, hand laying on the side of his neck, as if that would persuade them not to make him eat. He laid back on his elbows, flashing his playful smirk.

“The longer you refuse to eat, the longer you’ll be stuck in here” They shrugged, using their sleeves to stay between their hands and the hot bowl so it doesn’t burn them. He rolled his eyes and blew a raspberry, plopping back down.

“Feed me?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me”

Shark searched on his face, any sign that he was just joking around, waiting for him to just laugh it off. Yet he stayed the same, pushing himself up, waiting for them to feed him. Eventually they gave in, signing before sitting up from their seat and standing at his bedside.

They grabbed a spoon full of the meat and warm broth and slid the back against the rim of the bowl to prevent it from dripping. They can’t believe they were doing this, but it was for the health of their captain. Holding it up to his mouth to which he happily took, humming satisfyingly.

“You have arms y’know” Shark pressed another spoonful up to his mouth, eyes fixated on his lips when he slipped the spoon into his mouth, looking back at his eyes. Price shrugged and took a second to chew before answering them.

“I don’t see you stopping” He tilted his head up at them, resting back on his hands and smiling up at Shark.

[albatmobile]

Cardinal Sins Chapter 7

𓅪 Living with your vigilante boyfriends for the past year has been amazing, well, almost. Butting heads, old wounds resurfacing and a deadly threat still looming overhead could threaten the sanctity of everything you've ever fought for. Will you finally overcome your tainted past and survive the trials and tribulations, or will your relationships and your faith crumble under the pressure?

Rated: M | TW: violence | 8.6k Contains: lian content, interrogation, misunderstandings and a situation that changes everything fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist] Previous in Series: Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds

Chapter 7: Landslide

Reuniting later that night with Lian is surreal.

The three of you are back at your place, something you can tell puts both men at ease, but you don’t have time to question it. 

She’s been forewarned that you’re still sick and recovering, but this doesn’t stop her from bounding up onto your bed to give you hugs and kisses. She spends the next half-hour showing you all the pictures she’s drawn in your absence and even fixes the messy braids her dad has bestowed upon you. 

“You know what?” she says suddenly. You watch as she carefully sets down the drawings on her dads shared nightstand, then anxiously tucks a stray piece of her inky black hair behind her tanned ear, “I thought you left me.” Your heart shatters. “I thought you weren’t coming back like my first mommy.”

Heart shattered??? No, your entire being is crushed to a pulp.

“Never, Lian,” you swear to her as you pull her in for as tight a hug as you can manage in your recovering state. “I promise I’d never leave you. Not willingly.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m going to do everything in my power, you know, whatever it takes, to make sure our family stays together,” she nods lightly at your statement, though she begins to pick at the seams the duvet you’re under. “I like it when we’re all together,” you say with a genuine smile, poking at her lightly until she finally gives in and smiles back.

“Me, too.” The little girl squeezes you with all her might before Jason and Roy come in to dress your wounds. 

“Lian, go finish the picture you started for her the other day while we get her cleaned up, okay?”

“Okay, daddy.” 

Jason presses a kiss to her forehead as she slips down the tall bed.

They gently lay you down on the king-sized mattress and clean your healing wounds with delicate precision. You don’t know what to say and it seems like they’re clearly in the same boat.

“I should’ve been paying more attention,” you lament with a weary exhale. “I didn’t mean to put anyone through this shit.”

“Stop it. No one blames you,” Jason grumbles as he gently checks over your head wound. “It could’ve happened to any of us.”

“We all really missed you,” Roy cuts in before you can retort, hoping to cut off another pissing fest before it starts. His soft hands trail up and down your exposed legs comfortingly. “It was really hard coping without you.”

Your brows furrow together, suddenly remembering how much Roy had been struggling so much before your accident.

“I’m sor-“

“Don’t,” Roy warns lightly. His light green eyes flash with an unreadable emotion briefly before he slowly goes back to trailing up and down your legs. “You don’t owe anyone an apology, baby.”

You’re in your comfy clothes, one of their over-sized shirts and your short, cotton shirt as you watch the two of them watching you. It’s like they’re scared to take their eyes off of you for fear of missing out on any more time with you.

“Besides,” Jason starts as he finishes off cleaning the wound from your feeding tube, “it’s not like we didn’t try to deal with shit while you were…”

You watch as he trails off, swallowing deeply before forcing himself to put the kit away. 

“Even if you didn’t, it’s clear that we need better coping mechanisms to be more supportive of each other as a family, anyway,” you say. “I was wanting to bring it up before… you know,” your hands wring together anxiously until Jason and Roy each take one into their grip and squeeze gently. 

“Of course, babe.”

“We hear you,” Roy says. The redhead leans down to kiss your hand delicately, then your lips, then Jason’s.

You bask in their presence for a while, simply glad to be back in their arms again.

Though you feel as if it’s been mere days, the idea that it’s been almost a month has steadily been eating into you. You can’t even begin to imagine how either of them are feeling after not having you be there for them for that long. The whole situation is so fucked and you know this is only the beginning of, well, everything. 

“We did end up talking about it a bit with Bruce,” Jason’s deep voice cuts through the quiet room. “Technically, I was ambushed into talking to him, but we really tried to work through our shit so we could be strong for you while you recovered.”

“That’s good,” you say with a smile, knowing he’s pushing himself to be open right now. Whatever talk they had must’ve worked at least somewhat.

“That and Roy made sure to keep up with his therapy,” Jason boasts in Roy’s stead, who bashfully ducks his head in response. 

This makes you smile even more.

“Even got Jay to join me for a bit one during one, baby,” Roy says with a wink, though it slightly lacks his usual enthusiasm. If you’re this worn out you can’t imagine how they must be feeling. “Maybe when you’re feeling better we could all do a group session.” Logically, you know he’s talking about group therapy, however, your body suddenly feels the weight of going nearly a month without sex. You can’t help the heat that stirs across your cheeks at his words, something he notices with an easy smirk. “Calm down, princess. Jaybird’s outlawed sex for at least another week.”

You pout. “So this means I’m barred from the field, too?”

“How can you even think about shit like that when you were still a vegetable this time yesterday?” Jason says as he comes back into the room and joins the two of you on the bed.

“I resent that description,” you retort, glaring at him half-heartedly as he snuggles up beside you.

“Resenting the truth never did anyone any good,” Jason says. He looks pointedly your way before placing a chaste kiss against your still blushing cheeks. “And you need bed rest for at least a few days before you can even think of training again, let alone getting back out there.”

“Not to mention, you still need to process everything that just happened,” Roy begins as he lightly rub at your shoulders. “Believe me, Jason and I wish we’d done the same when we went through all of our shit.” 

Jason concurs, “You really don’t want to blow past this now and pay for it later, babe.”

You know they’re right, but you only have one thing on your mind…

“It’s hard when all I can focus on is this fucking case,” you say with a sigh.

It’s always been abundantly clear that time’s never guaranteed and can’t help but feel like you’re steadily running out of time to uncover the mystery. Not to mention, you want to act on the visions you’d seen while you’d been unconscious, though you can’t deny you’re somewhat hesitant to follow them after the shit-show that happened last time you did.

“Well, focus on healing first. Roy and I have continued looking into leads for the court,” Jason says. Meanwhile, his hands begin to trail over the areas of your body that Roy isn’t currently touching until you feel absolutely pampered.

“You have?” you ask and they nod in response. It’s what happens next that lets you in on the fact that they found something. They look at each other, not just a normal look. No, this look 100% reads like they’re wondering if they should tell you what they’ve found or not. You squint your eyes at Jason, then at Roy. You’re not going to give them the choice. “Tell me what you found,” you demand, leaving no room for argument- or, so you think.

“You should take it easy for at least today,” Roy argues gently. Now, they’re both look at you with evident concern.

“I will,” you say, smirking when they seem to relax, “after you tell me the lead.”

Jason huffs, rolling his eyes in what you know is thinly veiled amusement. As much as he claims to hate your stubborn nature, you know he also secretly loves it.

They stay quiet for another beat before Roy goes to grab his laptop from the living room.

Jason’s eyes have yet to leave the side of your face, so you shift to face him, still in his arms. “I missed you,” your name leaves his lips as a breath, “so fucking much.”

You curl further into him, reveling when he pulls you in for a soft kiss. It’s chaste and gentle, yet you can’t help but curl your toes at the intimate contact.

“Jason,” you whisper once you pull away. 

Your half-lidded eyes meet his own briefly before you’re pulled back in. Though he’s being remarkably gentle, he dares to deepen the kiss, leaving you to moan gently against his smooth lips. 

“You almost done over there, etai yazi?” You hear Roy ask as he makes his way back to the room. “Oh, damn,” Roy sputters at the sight that meets him. His verdant eyes glint mischievously as he comes upon the two of you tangled together in your sheets. “What happened to waiting a week, Jay?”

Jason regrettably pulls away, though his calloused fingers remain caressing your jawline. It’s as if he’s debating pulling you back already.

“Guess I couldn’t help myself,” Jason replies, his deep voice reverberating every molecule of your being.

In an instant, Roy drops the laptop at the edge of the bed before climbing over to join the two of you. The redhead kisses at your shoulders before maneuvering your head to the side to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss that you have no choice but to smile into. He pulls away with a smirk, wiping your wet lips with his thumb before carefully leaning over you to give Jason an even more obnoxious kiss.

You can’t help but laugh, feeling like everything’s finally how it’s supposed to be for once. “I love you both so much,” you sigh and nuzzle against their protective embrace.

The three of you know you only have so long before Lian comes back, leaving you to get back to business quickly. This time, they don’t take as much convincing before they spill everything.

“We have a lead on a guy who may know something about The Court,” Jason says. “We don’t know his name, but we know that he hangs around the some shitty bar by the harbor.”

Roy interjects, “And that the dude has an owl tattoo on his chest.”

“Say he likes to act like a hardass, but underneath, he’s just another Bristol cuck. Shouldn’t take too much to get information about the next Court meeting out of him.”

You mull the information over in your head but can’t help but go back to how they got the information.

“Who told you about him?”

They both look instantly guilty.

Bingo.

You sigh, feeling an argument coming on. Well, either that or a headache. “I thought you were both done with that drug lord shit. You promised me to drop all those contacts when we made things official, did you not?”

They both look guilty enough that you already have your answer.

Roy speaks first, “We did, baby. You’re right and we feel really bad about it but-“

“The circumstances were dire,” Jason finishes right where Roy left off. “You weren’t gone, but you weren’t here. We sat around for weeks not knowing if you’d,” he sighs as if unable to finish his sentence. 

“We didn’t know if you’d ever wake up, baby,” Roy laments as he moves to take one of your hands into his own. 

For a moment, you think about pulling away from him, but you don’t. Regardless, you’re still pouting and your displeasure over the whole situation is very much evident.

Soon, Jason’s taking your other hand into his own. No one says anything for a moment, something you’re grateful for. The past day has been a lot to deal with mentally, this added on to it is like the icing on top of the cake.

“Well, now I know neither of you are going to give me shit for tagging along.”

Checkmate.

They glance over at each other and you watch the brief conversation they share through their eyes alone. Finally, they look back at you.

“Fine, but you’re not coming in,” Roy answers for both of them.

“I have to stay in the car?!” you question incredulously. 

Un-checkmate.

“Babe.” Jason rubs gently at your hand in lieu of a further response.

A beat, then you answer. “Fine,” you agree, albeit pettily.

You hear her determined patter before you see her. Seconds later, Lian rounds the hallway and into your room with her picture triumphantly displayed in front of her.

“Look!” 

Without warning, she leaps onto the bed to shove the paper in front of your face. 

Your eyes cross as you stare at the image that’s now three inches in front of your face. You gently take it from her hands with a smile and place it on your lap to get a better look. The figures are crudely drawn, but it’s clearly a picture of you and her daddies at a tea party. Hearts and flowers, coupled with a random sun in the corner, grace the page, leaving a thrumming warmness to fill your chest.

“Thank you, chickie,” you say, causing her to giggle at your nickname for her. “I’m going to keep this with me forever.” At this, you motion her over and she gently settles in your lap so you can kiss her forehead. 

You never made art for your parents, let alone received anything like this from Lian before. It warms your heart in a moment where you feel entirely vulnerable, weak. Through this picture alone, your little girl manages to make you feel important and loved. The good outweighs the bad and you find yourself feeling stronger through her tenacious presence alone. 

“I’ll make you some more, mommy. I’m a really good drawer and I used all my new colored pencils to make it extra pretty for you,” she babbles on about her drawing process, along with how Grandpa Alfred got all the new art supplies for her, while she’s in your arms. 

Meanwhile, Jason and Roy look at the scene in front of them like it’s the cutest damned thing they’ve ever seen.

“I love it so much. Definitely makes me feel a lot better.” She beams at that. Your words are simple, but you hope they convey just how much it means to you. You place the drawing on the bedside table, mindful of your injuries and the little girl, before addressing her, “Wanna stay and hang out with mommy and daddies? We can do whatever you want.”

“Really?!” she exclaims, bouncing in your lap. You wince slightly at the movement and exhale shakily in response. Roy joins you on the bed to collect her into his own lap so she can’t hurt you on accident. She pouts a bit at the recent development, “I don’t want you. I want mommy.”

Roy gasps, pretending to be hurt when she tries to crawl back over to you, “Etai yazi, you’re hurting dad’s feelings.”

“I don’t giffa duck,” Lian attempts to curse as she squirms out of his hold. The kid is nearly home free when Jason scoops her up.

“Mommy is hurting, remember?”

“But, daddy,” she pouts in Jason’s arms.

“No cursing either,” he says.

“I didn’t!” she exclaims.

“Lian,” he warns her with what she refers to as his ’scary eyes.’

She huffs, crossing her arms in his hold, “Fine.”

Jason can’t help but smile a bit, though he quickly schools it so she doesn’t get the idea that cursing is funny. See, situations like this just prove that being an adult sucks. A five year old incorrectly cursing like a sailor? Shit’s fucking funny. Can you laugh at it? No, because then you’d be a bad parent, encouraging bad behavior. See? Sucks.

“Be gentle,” Jason reprimands her lightly as he places her back on bed. 

You open your arms and she slowly crawls over to cuddle between you and her dad. This time, she treats you like she treats her favorite blankie, petting you softly in apology with little kisses on your hand.

“I’m sorry,” she pouts again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She’s adorable.

You smile softly before assuaging her worries, “It’s alright, chickie. So, what would you want to do tonight?”

After it’s been decided that Lian wants to watch the new Superman show, Jason sets about creating a tea party very similar to the one in her cute drawing. He leaves and quickly returns with a tray filled with steaming tea cups and snack cakes that make your stomach grumble. Before you can try to reach for them, Jason shoots you a pointed look as he reveals the hidden bowl of soup behind them.

“You heathens be careful, alright?” Jason warns. “I’m not cleaning these sheets again.”

However, Roy just snorts and digs into the tea sandwiches with fervor with Lian soon following in his example.

You, on the other hand, are supposed to be on a liquid diet for the next few days while your body slowly gets used to you incorporating solid foods back into your diet. This means that soup and tea are all you get. It doesn’t make your cravings go away in the slightest, however. You watch enviously as Roy and Lian scarf down the snack cakes that are calling your name.

“Maybe if I just have a little bite,” you try, but Jason just hands you the soup he’d made from scratch with Lian for you. During which, Roy had been cuddled up against you while you dozed in and out of consciousness.

“Let’s just stick to soups and smoothies for at least another day, babe,” Jason insists and rubs your palm gently as if to apologize. “It hasn’t even been 24 hours since you woke up.” He holds a distant look in his dark green eyes, reminding you of the pain you’d caused in your absence.

You pout, crossing your arms petulantly as you allow him to feed you. The soup is flavorful yet gentle on your upset stomach. 

“Do you like the soup, mommy?”

Your heart fills with warmth as the liquid slides down your sore throat. 

“It’s amazing.” You uncross your arms to ruffle lightly at your hair. “You’re an incredible soup chef,” you praise her.

“I’m the best soup chef in the whole entire world,” Lian agrees. She goes to retaliate by ruffling your hair, too but Roy holds her back, nearly spilling his food on the duvet in the process.

Jason shoots him a glare that begs him to fuck up the clean sheets, but Roy’s too busy reminding Lian to be gentle to notice. You, on the other hand, drink in the adorable sight as Jason offers you another spoonful.

“Thank you guys,” you say genuinely. “For all of this. It feels good to be back.”

“Feels good to have you back,” Roy responds.

“And let’s keep it that way,” Lian adds sassily with an adorable pout you know she’s picking up from you. 

Cute.

“I promise.” And you mean it. 

You refuse to let anyone come between you and your family ever again. 

Not this time.

•••

You haven’t been sleeping well ever since the coma. 

It seems like every time you shut your eyes, the visions that you can’t make sense of are growing stronger and stronger. It’s getting to the point that you’re lucky to catch three hours of sleep, if that. Regardless of the lack of sleep, you’ve been doubling down on recovery and training. You’ve worked hard enough that you’ve not only made some insane progress in your overall healing but also in getting back in the field.

Yes, you’d been in a coma but you weren’t crippled. Far from it, in fact.

With Lian being off with Alfred for your bi-weekly date night, it was something neither had any logical reason to refuse. Especially not after you’d voiced feeling left out on missions. 

This is how you end up a week and a half later at the sleaziest dive in Gotham- The Stacked Deck.

The brick building itself is completely rundown, complete with a flickering neon sign gracing a dented pole that someone had obviously run into a few decades prior. Outside, C-list villains and gangs of motorcyclists loiter around the weed-covered, decrepit parking lot. 

Roy insists on taking the minivan so you can sit this one out, something you and Jason fight against, after all, it would only draw unnecessary attention to your crew. Eventually, Jason concedes, which is how the three of you end up cramped into the busted minivan sans a license plate. 

When you pull up, all eyes easily fall on the out-of-place vehicle, though everyone goes back to minding their business as soon as Hood and Arsenal emerge in full uniform from the beat-up mom car.

They’re on a mission to find out any information they can on the Court’s whereabouts from the contact they’d tracked down while you’d been in a coma. He was the only possible tie they could find to the elusive owl society, but, luckily, he’d been described as the type to squeal. 

You, on the other hand?

Yes, you’re donning Cardinals vinyl red garb. However, you’ve still been banished to the car. You sigh as you lean up against the peeling window tint. Part of you wonders why you begged to come along if all you were going to be doing was sitting in a locked car. Hell, even dogs have more rights than this shit, you think bitterly. 

It’s hot as fuck outside even though it’s well past midnight and you sincerely regret your decision to suit up. You wait a few more minutes in the heat before you give up. Luckily, the shitty car is old enough to have window cranks, so you’re able to crack the window a bit without the keys. This minuscule action, however, ends up drawing more attention than you’d expected. Okay, no worries, you tell yourself as you see movement coming closer out of the corner of your eye. Just play it cool.

You remain facing forward, refusing eye contact with a bulky-looking dude that sidles up and knocks on the window you’re attempting to crank shut as nonchalantly as possible.

What the fuck is wrong with men?

You keep staring at the dashboard in front of you and try to ignore them, but the man keeps knocking and is soon joined by his gaggle of friends.

“Guess I missed the Halloween memo, huh, sweetheart?” the burly man says, tugging at his leather vest. He then throws the cigarette in his mouth to the ground and stomps it out in, what you assume is supposed to be, a menacing action, but you merely roll your eyes under your mask.

The eye roll stops as soon as your eyes land on the huge owl tattoo that peeks out from behind his ratted white shirt.

Holy shit. There’s no way…

This is the dude Jason and Roy are after! 

He landed right in your fucking lap and you know you’d be stupid to let this opportunity pass. Just because you aren’t necessarily in the mood to pummel these chauvinistic pigs into the pavement, but it doesn’t mean you won’t.

His buddies exchange a few words, but everything said is ultimately muffled by the glass separating you.

You can’t imagine what’s holding your partners up, but you know that you can’t wait much longer. You refuse to risk your only lead when you know damn well that you can handle these punks on your own.

You’re soon startled from your thoughts when one of the assholes shoots a bullet and ends up shattering the side mirror.

“That’s it,” you mutter in frustration as you unlock the door. You slowly slink out of the car, closing the door effortlessly behind you as the men take in your shorter form.

“I’m sorry,” one spouts as you slowly twist one wrist, then the other to stretch them out, “is it supposed to be scary? Because all I can see is you shaking that ass on me in that tight number you got on there, girl.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the closest man to the left of your target snorts. “No parking zone sweetie, but you can park here,” the man gestures to his dick with a sinister smirk, “all night long.” 

The men all get a decent laugh, thinking their joke is so fucking original or something, but you feel like gagging and noton account of the putrid smell only dives like this can produce.

“Ever seen a gun this big before, doll?” the man with the owl tattoo finally chirps up again as he taunts you with the gun that ruined Roy’s car.

You round on him slowly, putting more distance between yourself and the car, tilting your head ever so slightly as you do. 

Nervous laughter erupts from the group like they can’t tell whether to take you seriously or not. Guess they’ll find out soon enough. 

“I don’t need guns,” is all you respond.

The men around you ‘ooo!’ as they punch each other jokingly and close in on you, but you don’t give them a chance to do much more before you attack.

You start with the men closest to you, crossing your arms to grab them before uncrossing them and sending the men’s heads into each other’s with a loud thump! They crumple to the ground in front of their awe-struck friends. When the remaining men finally look up from the men on the pavement to you, you shrug nonchalantly. You don’t allow them any time to recoup before you rush forward and knock two more to the ground through the sheer force of your body alone.

Without missing a beat, you spin around to roundhouse kick one of the bikers who’d been attempting to tackle you from behind. He stumbles to the ground where you deliver a swift kick to his head, knocking him out instantly. The other two men on the ground, you deliver the same fate as you duck and dodge nearly all the haymakers being sent your way.

Five down, five to go.

Your new focus is on dodging the barrage of bullets that are now being sent your way. You flip onto and over the roof of the car to gain some sort of barrier as you wait out their reload.

They start yelling, whether it’s directed at each other or you, you’re unsure. One sound you are sure of is the sound of an empty round.

When you hear the tell-tale signs of empty clicks, you storm out from behind the car, taking the men by surprise as you send the biker closest to you barreling into the distracted group of reloading men. Everyone, except for your target with the owl tattoo, scatters to the ground like bowling pins.

It’s then that your target takes aim at you. 

You’d been expecting as much and seamlessly do a backflip, then cartwheel into a front flip to avoid his bullets. Once you come upon him, he’s out of bullets once again. You use this as the perfect opportunity to kick the offending weapon out of his beefy hands.

“Who the hell are you?” 

Instead of responding, you sock him in the face with a jab, followed by an uppercut, before spinning around and crouching to duck the fist of one of the remaining men. The fist originally sent your way ends up landing against your target and sends the man with the owl tattoo sprawling backward.

You waste no time in using your crouched position to stick your leg out and trip the man. As soon as gravity takes hold, you pop back up, spinning around to land a sickening punch on his face before he can make contact with the dirty ground. 

You’re panting slightly as you stand.

The three remaining men you’d knocked to the ground mere moments prior were back up and on their feet. It seems they realized guns were futile and resorted to switch blades. 

Pathetic.

Your body moves with practiced ease as you manage to avoid their blade’s short reach. Before they can even realize you’ve retaliated, you grab the underside of two men’s wrists and push them backward with enough force to send them tumbling. If there was any doubt before about you not being physically ready to go out in the field again, you know it’s been sufficiently crushed with how you’re handling the situation at hand. Not that any of these men posed any sort of challenge outside of the sheer number they shared as a group. 

The only standing man growls anomalistically as he snarls down at you, “You dumb fucking bitch.”

“No one’s ever accused me of being dumb,” you respond airily as you bolt to the side to avoid his heavy fists. You block his cross, sending back one of your own and managing to land directly on his dirty cheeks. 

“I’m gonna kill you!” he screams as he interlocks his hands over his head and rushes toward you to bring them down atop your head.

You don’t even try to stop him. No, you just step slightly to the side, leaving him off balance as his hands make contact with nothing.

From the corner of your eyes, you notice the man with the owl tattoo slowly crawling for the door to the bar.

That’s a no-no.

You’re playing too much. You know you need to stop fucking around and put an end to this dumb shit before your only lead can get away.

The determined biker lets out a war cry as he and the remaining two men charge at you. They get a few good hits on you, but ultimately, you knock them each out before bolting over to your escaping target.

His grubby hand is clasped around the door and threatens to open it. He eyes your advancing form with fear and falters slightly as he tries to turn the knob, but you’re on him too fast. Your heel makes contact with the door and its frame, effectively preventing the man from opening the door. His eyes follow up the shiny expanse of your leg, which you use as the perfect opportunity to throw his already weak form off balance. 

“Fuck!” He lands on the ground with a pained curse but you’re not letting him off the hook just yet. You pin him with ease and he soon gives up on struggling and moves into the bartering phase of getting your ass handed to you. “LET ME GO! What do you want?” he asks breathlessly. His bloodied face is evidently panicked as he attempts to look beyond your mask. “You want money? I’ll give you money! Name your price!”

You chuckle lowly, “I don’t want your fucking money. I want answers.”

“Answers,” he nods enthusiastically. “I got those. I got answers, sweetheart. I-“ 

You cut him off with a stark slap across his beaten face. “Let’s get one thing straight,” you growl, “I’m not your sweetheart.” 

“You’re not!” he agrees enthusiastically. “You’re right.” He’s trying way too hard to be agreeable. It’d be funny if you weren’t thrumming with excitement for the information you were about to get. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Promise. Is that an option? Can we do that?” he babbles, practically squealing when you tighten your grip on him. “Please! Anything, just let me go,” he whines pathetically.

You lower yourself in one fell swoop so that your vinyl-covered is against his ear. “Ever heard of The Court of Owls?” 

He stops struggling in an instant, looking around with greater fear than before. Maybe everything Damian had said really was true…

“Are you trying to get us both killed?” The man looks up at you through his wince.

Your eyes narrow, disregarding the warning. 

“What do you know?”

•••

When Red Hood and Arsenal emerge a few minutes later, they find you leaning up against the car with one of your legs posted against it, surrounded by the knocked-out motorcycle gang. 

You notice them falter briefly in their step as they take in the scene

“The fuck happened out here?” Red Hood asks you incredulously. Meanwhile, Arsenal’s busy lamenting the shot-out side window and subsequent bullet holes in the car’s body.

“Someone pissed me off,” you reply simply.

“Remind me to stay on your good side,” Hood responds wryly.

“Yeah, yeah,” you wave him off as the three of you climb back in the car, “what took you guys so long, anyway?”

“We didn’t find The Court of Owl’s dude, but we did find an ex-Cadmus scientist, babe,” Arsenal says.

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” The redhead nods, turning around in the passenger seat. His verdant eyes rake up and down your form greedily as he bites lightly at his lower lip without seeming to realize it. “You look good, princess.”

“Code names, Arsenal,” Jason warns, but even you voice your discontent.

“It’s just us in the car,” you come to Roy’s defense. “Should be alright, right?”

“Fine,” Jason gives in with a sigh. With this, he turns off his voice modulator before zipping out of the parking lot and onto the desolate road.

“Cool,” you say, meeting his eyes cheekily in the rearview. 

He rolls his eyes mirthfully before completing your inside joke, “Cool.”

You allow yourself to roll up your mask past your nose, regretting it when you catch a whiff of your b.o. and wince. “Gross,” you wince.

“Yeah, but what caused the grossness was hot, so it all kinda cancels out,” Roy says, tapping at his head. “That’s logic.”

“It’s… definitely something,” you snort when he reaches around his seat to smack you on the thigh.

“You sound just like Jason sometimes. I swear I’m dating two of him.” 

You stick your tongue out in response, but it only causes the redhead to unbuckle and stumble into the backseat to chase after it. You merely bat at Roy, offering him a chaste kiss instead. 

“So, did you guys leave the interrogation to me, or did you actually get any info?”

“You got the info for the court meeting?!” Roy asks, sounding impressed.

You hate how surprised they both seem. Like you’ve somehow been incapable in past interrogations when… oh, yeah, you were the only one getting answers. You don’t know if it’s because you haven’t been sleeping well recently or if you’re just coming down from the adrenaline of the fight, but all you can think about is how their response is straight bullshit.

“The information we came here to get? Yeah,” you reply as you shake your head in frustration. You can’t believe either of them, let alone their lack of faith in your abilities. “You know, I love how I keep having to prove my worth to you guys in the field, and by love, I mean hate,” you finish with a glare. 

Now, you have the information. What you still don’t seem to have is respect from your partners.

“Hey, that’s not what we meant at all.” 

You ignore Jason. “Just because I got hurt doesn’t mean I don’t have what it takes. Like you said,” you turn to Roy beside you, “it could’ve happened to any of us.”

“Baby,” Roy starts to caress your vinyl-clad arm, but you shake him off.

“No,” you say with a shake of your head. “No, baby. Not right now.” You sit up straighter in your seat, looking between Jason’s blank stare in the rearview and Roy’s concerned face beside you. “You guys believed in me, even when I didn’t, so why doubt me now? Why continue to make me pay for something caused by random chance when I keep proving-“

“You don’t have shit to prove to us,” Jason cuts you off, cooly.

You huff, crossing your arms and slinking back into your seat.

“What’s this actually about, baby?” Roy questions gently.

You’d been working your ass off to get back in the field, but you can’t deny you’ve been scared. You’ve had brushes with death before, but nothing like that. It was too close and maybe you’re the one doubting yourself. 

They seem to understand, though, at the very least with how supportive they’re being. Well, either that or your words and Connor’s have finally gotten through to them.

You feel Jason’s familiar gaze on you in the mirror but you refuse to meet it. 

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” you finally admit.

Jason’s eyes flicker over to Roy in the rearview, finding his eyes already there to meet him. You follow their nonverbal conversation with your eyes, biting back the eye roll because you do honestly find the way they can communicate like that really cute.

“Like you said, you’re the one who ended up with the info,” Roy says as if it’s obvious. “You haven’t even been in the field for that long and you’ve definitely showed us up time and time again.”

Through the mirror, you watch as Roy’s eyes encourage Jason to say something.

After a beat, Jason clears his throat awkwardly. “You, uh, do really know how to hold your own,” Jason adds gracelessly. Regardless, Roy still nods encouragingly, leaving Jason to blush and turn his focus back toward the road. 

“Whatever you decide to do, baby, we’re here for you but don’t think for a second that you’re not cut out for this shit,” Roy looks at you pointedly, “because you are. You’re a badass, sexy,” his arms trail up the outside of yours, “intelligent, freaky as fuck programming mastermind-“ Roy trails off. “I forgot where I was going with that and now I’m just hard.”

You know he’s just trying to make you laugh, so you allow yourself to give in.

“I love you guys.” 

You’ve never felt so grateful to have the two of them by your side, especially right now, when you’re feeling so unsure of yourself and your abilities.

Pretty soon, you’re pulling up to the manor. As soon as you arrive, two of the tires pop. Alfred immediately gets to work right after he sends the three of you off to change into civies. Meanwhile, Bruce eyes the vehicle, well, what’s left of it, with distaste. He’s wearing his suit, though he removes the cowl when the three of you approach. 

“I have a loaner car for tonight, but feel free to keep it,” Bruce says as he looks over the lemon. “We’re having the luncheon this Sunday, so you can just bring it back then.”

Roy glares. “My girl runs just fine, thank you very much.” He runs his hands protectively over the ruined exterior as if to prove it.

Bruce moves on swiftly after this, obviously not understanding the bond between Roy and his shitty minivan. “So, I take it your interrogation tonight went well?”

“Technically, two interrogations,” Roy corrects.

“Oh, yeah,” you say. “You guys never told me what you figured out.”

“You led your own investigation?” Bruce turns to you, seemingly impressed by the recent revelations.

Jason crosses his arms. “She’s really good at it, as it turns out,” Jason says with a hint of malice. You can’t tell if he’s salty thinking about your intimidation over Deadshot, or if he’s protecting you from Bruce’s comment on account of how you reacted to his and Roy’s comment in the car earlier. “She’s more than capable of holding her own even after everything.”

Okay, definitely the latter. You can’t help but beam at his support, finally feeling like you’re on the same team again.

“What, like it’s hard?” you respond playfully. Bruce easily holds up his hands in faux-surrender, though looks thoroughly impressed. You turn to your partners before asking, “So?”

“Well, we found an ex-scientist from Cadmus in the bar being used as a footrest.” You can’t help but quirk a brow at Roy’s odd recap. “Told us that the Winter Rose Ivy sold carries a symbiotic protein, which she conveniently left out when you were beating her ass.”

Symbiotic?

Could that mean…?

Maybe your hunch over the origin of your visions in the subway tunnels had been right.

“The data I gathered during my own analysis of the stem you brought in from Cadmus seems to support that as well,” Bruce adds.

So, there was no doubt that the Cadmus scientist had been telling the truth.

“So, whatever they’re concocting is both water soluble and symbiotic?” That doesn’t sound good at all.

“Not to mention the stolen microwave emitter,” Roy says grimly. Before you can even ask, he shakes his head, sending his red hair sprawling in front of his eyes, “No, he doesn’t know where the machine is. Says he didn’t have access to that level of information but that another team was running hypotheses on the matter.”

“And you still don’t believe in killing these fuckers, Bruce?” the raven grumbles. Everyone turns to Jason. “Still think everyone deserves a second chance- mercy?” he scoffs. “We’re talking about a large scale attack on, well, who knows what and we’re just supposed to sit here and shove our thumbs up our asses until it comes? Why don’t we prevent-“

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now, Jason,” Bruce says tersely. 

“If not now, when?” Jason’s arms spread out like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “When millions of people are being murdered by The Court, no, by him.”

You gulp.

One look at Roy proves he’s ready to step in at any time should any issues arise, but Bruce is already walking away. He throws you the keys, which you catch easily as he tugs his cowl over his head.

“I refuse to sit here and debate ethics with a man who's killed for pleasure.” It’s cruel- blunt and Bruce’s words do nothing to stop the anger already brewing over in Jason. “I’d hoped being around her morals would’ve smacked some sense into you by now, but it’s clear you’re a lost cause.”

“I’m a lost cause?” Jason tries to act as if he finds the situation funny, but everyone can clearly see the tears pooling behind his emerald eyes.

“Please,” Bruce looks unimpressed, “there’s only so much redemption one man can accomplish before he diminishes it all with repeated, skewed antics.”

Roy steps in before Jason can manage a step forward.

“Yeah? Well, I refuse to sit here and take this hot and cold shit from you. You forgive me one day, are disappointed in me the next. You hold me at arm’s length for cleaning up the streets like you never could over some bullshit antiquated sense of morality. I am necessary evil, sure, but it doesn’t make any of the things you do any less evil either, Bruce.”

It’s not Bruce anymore when he smacks Jason across the face.

The resounding sound, coupled with your gasp, lingers as silence overtakes the room.

Seconds tick by. Maybe minutes, you’re not entirely sure.

Your body thrums with an intensity usually saved for battle. 

Everything’s fucked.

“This is not up for discussion,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. Well, it would leave no room if it were anyone but Jason. “You follow my rules or face the consequences.”

Jason laughs darkly, keeping his head turned from the original impact as his shoulders slowly shake before slowly turning to face his father again. “Still the same old Bruce, yeah?” Your eyes are still wide not quite believing what you’ve just witnessed. “Keep your fucking car. I don’t need shit from you. Never have, never will,” Jason spits.

With this, Jason spins on his heel and storms out of the cave. Roy makes to follow him, then stops. He opens his mouth, finger poised at the ready, but the words never come out. Instead, he just shakes his head, red hair flying in front of his face before throwing a dirty glare over his shoulder and following after Jason.

Your feet, however, remain planted.

“I always kind of hoped your ways would rub off on him,” he says with a light sigh. Bruce isn’t even looking at you, he’s just blankly watching after Jason’s retreating form. You don’t say anything, still completely stupefied by everything that transpired. “Just make sure his way doesn’t rub off on you. You’re better than that.”

You don’t recognize the man in front of you. Regardless, he seems similar enough to the descriptions Jason always warned you about and you never believed. You still can’t necessarily bring yourself to believe his words even still. Call it naivety, call it stupidity, call it excusing it all… but you feel frozen. It’s as if two completely different versions of Bruce are trying to combine into one right in front of your very eyes, yet your mind still resists their complete merge.

You’re shaking. Your entire body continues to thrum as if electricity is coursing through your veins as you just stand there. You want to leave, you want to comfort your love, you want to ask your dad why he- just why, but you just stand there. 

“If you’ve forgiven him once, surely you’ll forgive him again,” you say, but in a way, you’re asking. You need to know if he’d be able to drop you so easily for not following his code perfectly. You need to know if your place in the family is a conditional circumstance. 

You don’t want to know, but you need to. 

Would he really be able to keep you at arm’s length and all the other like he did Jason? 

“Forgiveness, when asked upon so many times, isn’t asking for forgiveness- it’s asking for acceptance,” he says lowly. “I refuse to give that to him.”

His cruel words finally spur life back into you.

You have your answer whether you like it or not.

Regardless of how Bruce would treat you, you know how Jason treats you. Even all those years ago when he disappeared, he was still there for you, still protecting you. You want to do right by Bruce, but you need to do right by Jason.

Bruce seems to think you’re leaving and makes to walk away but you stop him with a firm grip on his forearm. He looks down at the contact briefly, quizzically meeting your eyes. 

“So, per your words, Jason’s accepting this disgusting behavior from you? Because I can’t count how many times he’s told me he’s forgiven you, Bruce,” you say. The words are coming out of your mouth before you even realize it. “If you ever touch him like that again, especially in front of me, it won’t be his forgiveness you’ll be begging for.”

You place the Rolls Royce keys into the open palm of his gauntlet and pick up the minivan keys instead. 

Alfred’s already replaced both tires at this point and that’s good enough for you. You quickly help him remove the tire jack before peeling out of the manor garage, heart pounding intensely all the while.

When you pull around, Jason’s nearing the end of the manor driveway with Roy following closely behind. You can hear their loud voices as they traverse the infamous Wayne gravel that you yourself have stormed down, but you can’t make out what they’re saying. Roy looks pissed, Jason looks like he’s disassociating. 

Roy shoots you a grateful look when he notices you. Probably because he would’ve had to sneak back in for his metal baby later had you not pulled up in it.

What do you even say to Jason? “Sorry that the man I look up to…” No. 

You can’t.

You view Bruce in a different light after tonight- Jason as well. It makes your stomach churn uncomfortably. 

Logically, you know everything will go back to normal, that you’ll show up to the luncheon and Jason will avoid his father just as much as Bruce avoids him. You know that a month from now, Bruce will make a half-assed apology that devolves into him lecturing Jason over the same things and Jason will sit there and take it because, at the end of the day, he loves and looks up to that man as much as you do. Though Jason will never admit it, his actions leak it.

“I’m sorry. I understand what you mean now.” You go to say more, but he cuts you off.

“Enough,” Jason barks, leaving your mouth to click shut in an instant. Roy sits in the back, wanting to touch Jason, but he shrugs off his touch every time. He slinks down slowly in his seat, crossing his arms menacingly as he does. “Someone change the subject before I talk myself into going back there and starting an all-out war with the cunt,” he growls.

Change of subject? You can do that. You’ve had something on your mind for a while and, you can’t deny that you also want to get the slap out of your head. Regardless of your parent's carelessness surrounding you growing up, neither cared enough about you to ever lay a hand on you. Today honestly shook you to your core.

“I think that the symbiotic nature of the serum explains why I’ve been seeing all these visions,” you hesitate slightly before continuing. “It could also be the reason why I’ve been feeling so sick recently.”

“You’ve been feeling sick?” Roy questions slowly, almost cautiously. You already know he’s thinking back to the first pregnancy scare. Well, it’s about as good a time as any to tell them about the second scare, especially now that you think you know what caused it.

“When we were in those test tubes, I woke up. I heard what the scientists were saying.” Your face scrunches up as you try to remember as much of their conversation as you can. You sigh, “That there were two subjects in my tube.” You glance quickly in the rearview to see their shocked faces. “Obviously I thought, you know,” you trail off uncomfortably. “I took a pregnancy test, though. It came back negative, which just further proves I’ve already received a dose of their new serum or, at the very least, some sort of variation of it. If it causes me to see Joker’s thoughts, imagine what that could do on a wide-scale attack.”

Just like you thought, they both freeze up before acting way too nonchalant. 

“Oh.”

You can hardly keep yourself from rolling your eyes. “Guys, that’s not the point,” you huff. “I think it all has to do with the new serum. It’s possible that, at the dockyard last year, Poison Ivy had already sold them a stem and I was the lab rat, just like Two Face said my contract stated.”

“You’re saying you think your contract is back on?” Jason asks dubiously. You’re glad, at the very least, that he seems to be more present again.

You sigh, “I’m saying, I don’t think it ever ended.”

Having to deal with psychopathic killers hunting you down for a large insurance scheme was hard enough when it was just Joker, Two Face and your parents. Now Cadmus and, seemingly, The Court of Owls, along with Joker and his new lackey, was something entirely different.

How are you going to survive this again?

“They’re coming to collect what they never got, then,” Roy surmises. “It’s actually starting to somehow make sense. If they tested out the new serum on you at the dockyards, that would explain why I never felt strong effects like you did after being in the tube. Do you think it has to do with multiple doses?” Roy asks.

“That could explain why the effects of the injection at Cadmus seemed to strengthen my visions,” you say with a shake of your head as you pull into the apartment garage. “Whatever this concoction is, it’s extremely dangerous. Especially in their hands.”

“It’s him,” Jason says with disgust. “He wants control.”

“Or to drive people mad,” Roy supplies as he helps Jason out of the car. Jason surprisingly lets him and you lightly jog to catch up to their longer gait.  

Whether or not Roy was calling you crazy, you didn’t know. What you did know, however, was that you can’t deny how heavily these visions have weighed on your psyche.

“Well, if you both fully believe me now, then maybe it’s time we test my visions again,” you say. “We need to go back and collect a sample of the subway water. Maybe we’ll be able to find Joker’s accomplice, too.”

Anything to get the upper hand… You definitely don’t need a repeat of last time happening. Not when the enemies are this powerful and the stakes even higher.

You refuse to lose it all. 

You refuse to go down without a fight.

A/N: ik I said i'd upload this friday, but i had a really good day and wanted to share this early :D i'm thinking of changing my upload dates to mon/tues EST as a heads up too btw

be sure to check out my fic update for more info on what you can expect for this month :p

[next: coming soon]  ||  masterlist || pinned || ways to support

[nowritingonthewall]

What do you think about the way Poe literally jolts up as soon as Finn holds him after the explosion in TLJ?

Could it be some sort of trauma related to what he endured while being captured?

Baby boy has pure and utter panic in his eyes before he sees it's just Finn, I honestly think that the aftermath of everything that's happened to him in TFA is not discussed enough.

Oh my goodness, a Poe ask, thank you so much, Nonnie 🥰

And omg there are so many thoughts that come up while watching this little scene!

To some extent his reaction can probably be explained by the fact that he is still right in the middle of an extremely dangerous situation. His adrenaline levels must be going through the roof at this point. So after what just happened, it may even appear to seem normal for his body to be in fight or flight modus at this very moment when he jolts at Finn.

However. By the time we get to the events occurring in TLJ, Poe has been in constant flight or fight modus for years. This poor and sweet and wonderful man experienced his first major traumatizing event when he was only eight years old and had to witness the death of his Mom. And his teenage years weren’t exactly smooth sailing, either, the few months that span the events in “Free Fall” alone were just one life-threatening situation after another and he was never really presented with any opportunity to recover from any of those. So when he is brought onto the Finalizer in TFA, he is most likely already suffering from severe C-PTSD.

And then, of course, there is his interrogation, which would have been enough to break any man, even one without a history of trauma. And Poe just keeps on going as if nothing happened after that. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that TLJ takes place only a few days after the events in TFA, but, uhm… to come back to your question, yes, I absolutely think that his reaction is a trauma response!

And I couldn’t agree more, it isn’t discussed enough, that’s why we need a whole Poe Dameron tv show (with 10 seasons minimum, please)!!!

But even though it isn’t discussed enough, imho the aftermath is plain to see in Oscar’s acting. Just in case you haven’t come across it yet, may I recommend this excellent post by @userpoe laying out several symptoms of PTSD that Poe shows in all the movies. I’d even go as far as saying that most of his actions that seemed to be out of character or earned him hate by the “fans” can be traced back to Poe being a deeply traumatized man. Like, e.g. his very short temper with Threepio. We know that’s not how Poe usually acts towards droids. Apart from his incredibly sweet way of interacting with BB-8 (and his love interest in “Resistance”) we literally see him behaving very different towards Threepio himself in the Poe comics. And, of course, there is that very character-revealing moment on Kijimi in TROS, and the pain you can see in Poe’s eyes when Threepio is taking “one last look at my friends”. This movie has so many moments that were most likely added for a cheap laugh by the writers but that fit so smoothly into Poe’s history with PTSD, whether it’s his annoyance with Threepio or his display of trust issues when he wonders whether Rey’s been using her jedi powers on Finn and him.

I am sorry, I have digressed way beyond your original question.

But, may I just add, apart from Poe showing clear signs of trauma, it’s also a little heartbreaking to watch how he doesn’t even take a moment to think of himself when Finn asks him whether he is all right? Apart from the wounds to his heart and soul, his body must hurt like hell after being subjected to that explosion (and I bet he didn’t even take as much as a little casual trip to the med bay) and he doesn’t even stop to give Finn a short “I am okay.” He immediately jumps to thinking about what needs to be done to save everybody else. (And of course, then there’s that wonderful moment when we see Leia mirroring his thought process which will never stop making me emotional.)

[lostsunlight]

CHAPTER 12 - BREACH THE SURFACE

childe x reader, wc: 3.5k, masterlist, Ao3

cw: nsfw, violence, murder,

Somehow, he survived. You dragged him into the apartment not caring who saw you - it seemed everyone was too busy recovering from the attack to notice anyways. Childe was still coughing and retching. He doubles over and throws up into the sink, black flakes with an odd purple sheen mixed in. You scrunch your nose and flick your hand to wash it down the sink.

The Abyss, the very thing that had plagued Mondstadt, now it was coming back to haunt you in a new form. Memories of Mondstadt seemed to follow you like a shadow. Another thing to add to the list of why you should hate Childe.

“Feel a bit better?” He swallowed and nodded, still panting 

“Yeah, I think I got most of it out. I’m just cold and soaked now”

You had never seen him look weak, you could almost understand why he wouldn’t want his underlings to see him like this. What a contrast it would be to see their fearless leader look like death had given him a slap on the back. 

You couldn't see any visible cuts on him at least but he still smelt like the rot of the abyss, still had the singe of electro on him. It was strange, he had been slashed clean across the chest again but in that wretched form he sustained no permanent injury.

He was freezing to the touch. Eventually you managed to drag him to the bathroom, slowly you peeled his damp clothes off along with yours. Neither of you cared about the nudity at this point just wanting to move away from the edge of being frozen. 

You used your vision to fill up the bath with warm water. Steam curling off it in delicate tendrils instantly making the air feel a little less frigid. He sighed deeply as he relaxed into the water. You followed him in, curling up at the other end, letting the warmth seep into your rain-soaked bones. 

You let out a small sigh before turning your attention to him. Deep bags underneath his eyes were still there but his skin seemed a little more pink now. You had never seen him look so out of sorts, despite the lack of fresh wounds on his body he radiated malaise.

“How are you feeling?” You tucked your legs up to your chest, squinting as your shoulder twinged in pain.

He massages his neck, tilting it from side to side. “Not great, I overused my Foul Legacy. The abyssal energy took too much from me this time. At least I'm not coughing it up anymore”

“How long does it take to recover” You asked, trying to gauge what you needed to do

He shrugged “Generally the longer and harder I use it the worse the recovery is”

“How many times have you used it then?” 

“Only sparingly, I don't exactly want the world to know about it. Takes away the surprise” A small smile tugs at the edge of his lips as he says that

“Ever the tactician. So, what now?”

“We keep on going. I don't have long, maybe a few hours but I need to get back to Northland. Having a Harbinger missing wouldn't be a great look” 

He looked exhausted, but underneath that there was a troubled look. He stared up at the ceiling, brows knotted together

“There's something else on your mind”

“I didn't get the gnosis, I did all of this and still failed. I failed the Tsaritsa” The water around you started to feel like a current, flowing just under the surface and Childe’s anger grew. 

“I nearly drowned a whole city, nearly lost your trust and for what? A fight that I lost anyway. It wasn’t worth doing all of that. All this harm for no good, nothing to show for it. My chance to prove myself to Cap- The other Harbingers, gone ”

“There has to be another way right? You can still salvage this and prove yourself? This can't be the end.” You said, trying to coax him away from spiralling

Childe sunk into the water and flung his arm across his face “You’re right, A Harbinger doesn't get knocked down that easily” 

“There he is” You softly say, at least he's getting his bite back. 

Turning your attention to your shoulder you could see a purple bruise blooming, acutely aware of Childe’s gaze you drew up some water using your hand and formed it around your shoulder. You let out a little huff and bit your lip, letting the pain flow into the water. After a few minutes the bruising eased.

“Your getting good at this” He comments, leaning in to inspect your injured shoulder

“Thanks, I learned it from Baizhu. I still can't fully heal something but I can ease it a little, take the edge off”

“How did you manage that impressive bruise?”

You flushed and looked away in embarrassment “I crashed into the Golden House when I saw Osial, I got spooked when I saw it and lost control”

“How on Teyvat did you managed to crash into the Golden House?” He sat back with an surprised look on his face

“You know that night by the campfire when you first taught me to fight?” He nodded “You mentioned some vision users being able to turn into pure elemental form. I saw you do it at the Golden House to escape, I followed you. I lost track of you because of the rain and the battle though”

“I didn’t know you could do that, especially without training”

“I don't think I could do it again if I’m being honest, at least not on command. I was so blinded by rage and fear that I just… let it take over me. That and the storm helped me draw some power”

“Rage? Fear?” He tilted his head “There are better ways to channel elemental energy” He said jokingly 

“I-I don't know” you hug your head “Everything just happened so quickly, there's a lot you didn't tell me you know. The delusion, the gnosis. Then there's the second god I’ve seen abandon their nation”

“You finally have reason for your doubts huh?” He prompted you on 

“I suppose. When you summoned Osial to draw out Rex Lapis, Some part of me hoped that he would show up, but he didn’t. He all but abandoned his people. Its sad that I had to see you nearly drown a whole city to see that” 

A flash of guilt came across his face “I only did it to draw out Rex Lapis, I also thought he would show up. I only went that far for the Tsaritsa. Guess we both learnt the same lesson”

“I still don’t know if I can follow any god… but maybe” You paused and took a breath “Maybe the Tsaritsa might be a good choice. What exactly does she plan to do?”

Childe reaches out and grabs both your hands “I want a new contract, Rex Lapis isn’t dead yet.” You slip your hand away from his, falling back into the water, shaking your head.

“Why tell me these things in the first place if I have to swear to keep them a secret? Wouldn’t you be breaking rules”

“I-I don't know, I just want to keep you around for a little longer. Maybe if you join the Fatui you can do that”

Of course the contract, it had been fulfilled, you were now free of your obligation to him

“Childe, The whole reason I made a deal with you in the first place was to gain my own freedom. How can I be free if I'm chained to another Archon?”

“Because she will bring freedom to all of us, this I can swear. If you follow the Tsaritsa to the end of her plan you will never have to swear loyalty or serve another god again. Plus isn’t it freedom to choose what you want to do with your life? You can choose to join us”

“...You make a fair point.” You reach out and grab his hands again, hoping your blind trust might lead you somewhere. Despite all he had done, the sins he had committed you wanted to stay by him for a little longer as well

He squeezes your hands “Swear you’ll never tell a soul that I told you any of this. You’ll never tell anyone about the Tsaritsa's plans”

“I swear” Another twinge up your forearm, a small golden glow around your hands and forearms that sunk into your skin.

Childe bites his lip “I can’t tell you absolutely everything but seeing as you know about gnoeses…”

“That's the thing that every Archon has, right? You told me that was what you were after when we first got to Liyue” You move a little closer towards him and lean in ever so slightly, interested to hear what he has to say

He nods “She wants to collect the power of the seven gnoses of Teyvat and use their collective power to bring down the heavens and create a new world order, one where man could rule freely without the eyes of Celestia gazing down upon them at every turn”

He paused and pulled you closer “Dragonspine wasn’t always eternally cold you know, they hit the top of the mountain with a nail that wiped out Sal Vindagnyr, the civilization that thrived on Dragonspine before. They had their favour until they didn't, one little thing and an entire city is wiped out on a whim”

Your eyes widened and he continued “The Cataclysm that happened five-hundred years ago, That was Celestia wiping out every remnant of a nation without gods. They will cause untold destruction to maintain their iron rule of Teyvat” 

You swallowed trying to take everything he just said in and process it. 

“So what you're saying is that Celestia wiped out these civilisations and in turn the Tsaritsa wants a world without gods and to do that she wants to wage a war against the heavens? What about the Tsaritsa isn’t she a god herself?”

“I don't know, her true plans are for herself and only herself to know”

“And the delusion, is that a mockery of Celestia? An attempt to imitate a god's blessing?”

“Something like that, I’m not too involved with that side of things, its more Dottore’s realm”

You looked down and swallowed, now considerably closer to Childe than you were at the start of the bath. He reached out and cupped your face, you lifted your gaze to make eye-contact with him. His eyes still had no shine, but his smile showed something genuine. 

“Y/N, stay, even if it's just for a little while longer.” he said softly “I can’t figure out what I feel for you let alone put it into words, I swore to love nobody else but the Tsaritsa, but you’re making me begin to question it”

This man who had stood for everything you opposed. On that fateful night where you had first met at the bottom of Starfell Lake. His role was to harm and yours to heal, he was a creature, at least in part, of the abyss. Everything dictated that you should hate him. Yet, deep down, you knew you were falling ever so slowly for him, even if you never wanted to admit it but maybe, just maybe you could bury it down and remain with him for a bit longer. 

You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes “OK, I’ll stick around”

He sighed “Thank you”

He angled your head slightly, eyes half lidded. You made the first move and gently kissed him. It was unlike the other time you had kissed him, that had been an outburst of desperation and pure willingness to avoid talking about the problem. But this, this was soft and sweet with no intention of it being anything else. A kiss for kisses sake. 

Breath intermingled with one another's, you opened your mouth a scant inch and he took every advantage of that. He curled his hand around the back of your head and your hands found his shoulders. 

Eventually, you broke apart. “C’mon the waters getting cold and you have to be at Northland”

“Yeah, your right” He chucked against your lips

✧

You sprinted up the giant flight of stairs to Bubu pharmacy. Debris was strewn across Liyue Harbour. It had only been hours after the storm had ended but people had begun to crowd the streets. A few shopkeepers cleaning up outside their stores.

You came to a stop, slightly panting, at the top of the stairs. Looking around Baizhu and Qiqi were mulling around inside. Qiqi was mopping the front and Baizhu was taking stock of herbs. He turns around to see you

“Y/N, I’m glad to see you safe after that whole ordeal”

“As am I, I came as quickly as I could. Of course this would happen on my day off” You half joke

“No need to worry, we're ok. Aside from some water damage to some herbs everything's alright. It is your day off Y/N, you don’t need to stick around” Baizhu said, turning back to continue taking inventory of the soaked herbs and medicines 

“I just wanted to check in. That and I assume some people would have been injured in the storm, I came by to help”

Baizhu frowns for a second and nods “I guess you're right, there are a few people upstairs. Most of them are minor injuries, thankfully. I believe a troupe of local emergency healers have been dispatched by the Qixing for the more severe cases we couldn't effectively treat here. I'll keep you updated if anyone else comes in”

You nod, “Thank you, I'll start right away” 

✧

Childe dried off and made his way to the bank, he still felt awful but at least he didn't like he was on the brink of death anymore. People stared at him as he strolled the streets to the bank, He didn’t take much notice of it but the closer he got to Northland the more he could feel their eyes burning a hole in the back of his head. Nodding at Vlad he stepped into the opulent interior, only to see Signoria and Zhongli conversing.

“Signoria, what are you doing here?” He said in a tense tone, even just being near that woman made him want to rip her to pieces. 

“Finishing what you started Childe” She snarked, looking up up and down with disdain and crossing her arms

“You call this "cooperation between Harbingers"? Cooperation involves communication, you know” He snarled, He wouldn’t let her take another victory from him again. 

Signoria laughed, smirking at him “Don't take it to heart, Childe. Besides, weren't you happy that you got to skip the formalities and bring chaos to the land? I'm sure you must've enjoyed that” She said in a soft, drawling voice. She paused as the doors opened again to reveal the Traveller and Paimon

“Oh, it seems that some of your friends have arrived.” She snapped her head toward him and then back at the new arrivals “It's you two. I believe we've met once before... In the City of Bards, was it? I imagine that it must have been rather hard to forget watching helplessly as something precious was snatched away from your friend.”

Aether looked at Signoria the same way Tartaglia did, with nothing but pure molten hatred. Paimon flitted to Aether's side and mumbled something, Aether seemed to visibly calm down, coaching his expression into one of mild annoyance. 

“Well, if it isn't Aether. This is our first time seeing each other since Liyue was nearly wiped off the map. This is certainly a bit... awkward, wouldn't you say?” He said, desperately trying to lighten the mood after the battle that had happened a mere few hours ago 

“Hmph, Paimon knew that we should never have trusted a Fatui Harbinger.” She crossed her arms and floated a little lower, glowering at him. Childe was glad that all of the people that could say that it was Paimon. 

“Aw, now don't say that. Sure, I may have misled you, but I never had anything against you personally. Besides, I thought we were getting along quite well together, didn't you? Except for that little tussle we had at the end.”

“You deceived us! Used us!” The Traveller snapped

“The real deceivers here are Signoria and Zhongli.” He retorted 

“Stop wasting time, Childe. There'll be plenty of time to chat once I'm through here.”

She turned to Morax and held her hand out “You remember the agreement, Morax. Now, if you would be so kind... The Gnosis please.” The voice dropping into something more sinister 

Agreement? That bitch! Signoria had swooped under his nose yet again to steal the glory that was so rightfully his. And the gnosis? That means Zhongli isn’t just an adeptus but the Archon himself. He clenched his fists.

Zhongli paused for a little while “The contract is fulfilled. That which thou seeketh is now bestowed unto thee, for my promise is solid as stone”

“Hmph, how sanctimonious” She retorted, a sneer on her face. Zhongli drew the gnosis, it took everything from Childe not to reach out and snatch it from him as he passed it to Signoria.

“Why fake your death Morax? You could have cut the chase and given us the gnosis at the very start” Childe asked, anger rising at the second deceiver

“Gathering all the forces that had been bubbling behind the scenes, and then stirring them together in a pot that was bound to boil over... That's what he wanted to see, am I right?” Signoria said in a mocking tone, inspecting the rook-like gnosis, now solidly in her grasp. 

She was deeper in on this than he thought, she must have been plotting to take this from him the moment she tipped him off about the Sigil at Yangsheng Teahouse. 

Zhongli intervened “Perhaps it's best that I explain. As you know, I've dwelt upon this world for more than six thousand years. It is now 3,700 years ago that I founded Liyue together with The Adepti. Even boulders that can withstand whirlpools will erode with the passing of time. I kept convincing myself that cracks had not begun to form and that the end of my time had not yet come.” 

He took a pause and glanced at everyone there, Paimon and Aether looked on in interest and Signoria looked bored, as if she already knew all of this

“Until one drizzly day, as I was strolling along the harbour, I heard a merchant tell one of his workers, "You've finished your duties, go ahead and call it a day." I stood motionless among the crowds, asking myself, Have I already finished my duties? But as I began to consider relinquishing my divine role, I soon discovered that many reasons still remained to not hastily depart. Was Liyue, the city I had dwelt in for so long, already prepared to enter its next age? I decided that a test was needed in order to reveal the answer.”

Of course this was going to be a long winded explanation, he couldn’t just get to the point

“So I approached Signoria. I knew the Tsaritsa wanted my gnosis and I was willing to give it for a price. But before I was content to leave Liyue in mortals hands I wanted to set up one last test. So, we gathered the cast of Tartaglia, The Adepti and The Qixing” 

‘Oh and each played their role so beautifully” Signoria laughed, hiding her smile behind one hand

“Were you satisfied with the finale?” Childe snarked, growing more and more pissed by the second. All this time he thought he had the reins only for them to be so cruelly cut away. Zhongli and Signoria had wanted him to lose that fight and summon Osial.

“Indeed, I was. The Gnosis I had kept for so many years suddenly seemed to have lost its meaning.” His face never changing from his pensive expression. 

“Let me guess — you had another plan in case it all burned down.” Aether remarked flatly 

“That's right, which is why I continued to safeguard the Gnosis until now.”

“So you mean that if the chaos ever reached the point of no return, you would simply appear and use your divine powers to bring Liyue back under control?” Paimon questioned 

Signoria spoke for Morax “Of course. And it would have been all too easy for him, too. Just as a child quickly matures after losing their parents, so has Liyue matured when faced with the death of its deity” 

Zhongli continued, “In the end, the resolution to all that has transpired was even more satisfactory than I could have hoped for. Credit is also due to Signoria, the emissary dispatched by the Cryo Archon to fulfil our contract. At my request, she kept everything she knew in strict confidence — this despite the eavesdropping ears of her colleague, Childe.”

Childe was about to beat this man into the ground, god or not. And The Tsaritsa had dispatched Signoria and not him, how long had she been plotting this for?

“All of these things turned out as I had planned. There is only one thing that I had not anticipated... and that was the conduct of the Liyue Qixing. I had expected them to do no more than The Adepti. To come to the defence of Liyue. But when all was said and done.

They seized the opportunity to supplant Liyue's divine protectors, and used the subsequent power vacuum left by my death to quickly gain complete control of Liyue.”

Rage boiling over he snapped “Hey, what about me? Doesn't anyone feel the least bit of remorse for deceiving me? You've practically kept me in the dark!”

“Hah! I think that thanks would be more appropriate. You certainly played no small part in all of this... Wreaking havoc and turning the city upside down. You must have delighted in it. The Lord of Geo ought to thank you for your performance, if anything.  If you hadn't created the pressure of a battle between mortals, adepti, and a god, the lump of coal resting in the hands of the Geo Archon, Liyue would never have been able to become a dazzling diamond of a city.”

“What? Just whose side are you on, mocking me like that? Are you itching for a fight? You've come out of this as the hero of Liyue. I, on the other hand, will forever be proscribed as a disturber of peace” The faintest hint of electro singed the air

“The cards fell where they did. Well then, with the Gnosis in my possession, I have no use for such idle chatter. We should return to Zapolyarny Palace and seek an audience with Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa. Come, Childe.”

“Ugh, fine... I'll meet you there later. I'm not sharing a boat with the likes of you.” 

“Hmph, do as you wish.” She turned her nose up and strutted out of the building towards the docks. Childe followed a few seconds later, avoiding Signoria he headed straight for the apartment. 

He threw open the door and slammed it behind him. Fuming, he smashed a vase on the ground relishing in hearing it break. He stepped forward crushing the porcelain under his boot. 

All of this work just to be a puppet strung along by Signoria and Zhongli. He had been sent on this mission to prove himself only for The Tsaritsa to have planned for Signoria to step in from the very start. What did he have to do to prove that he wasn’t a child?

And Zhongli, Childe was just about ready to tackle him to the ground and face his godly wrath for that act of deception. He always knew he wasn’t a human, but for him to be a god under his nose? Childe screamed and let out a strike of electro, it hung in the air, cracking. 

On his return to Snezhnaya he would be humiliated in front of the other Harbingers. He took his mask that lay perched on the side of his head and looked at it, it was the representation of himself as a Harbinger, the mask seemed to laugh back at him. Another burst of electro jumped forth just as the door opened.

“Hey! Calm down, you nearly electrocuted me!” He saw you register his state, his back turned to you standing above a shattered vase and your expression changed to one of concern 

“What happened at the bank?” You asked softy, the residual electro energy in the hair made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

"What didn’t happen” he huffed, pacing around the room, you stepped into the apartment fully and closed the door behind you. He was still gripping his mask

“ I was never meant to get the gnosis, I was a mere pawn for Signoria and Zhongli to move around as they pleased. I did nothing to prove myself to the other Harbingers and now I look like an impulsive fool! Not to mention Zhongli gave the gnosis directly to Signoria, the bastards had it planned from the very start” He yelled, waving his hands around, his cape flowing behind him like a wave.

There was a flash of confusion across your face as you processed exactly what he had said, piercing together that Zhongli was the allegedly deceased god. You sat down and patted the spot on the couch next to you, reluctantly Childe sat down beside you, letting the mask fall and clatter on the floor.

“All of this was for nothing” He said, voice quieter than before. He rested his head on your shoulder, the rage that had been burning gave way to exhaustion, his body catching up to his over use of Foul Legacy.

You carded you hand through his rusty locks “Let's get you to bed, we can talk about this tomorrow, but right now you've reached the end of your wick”

Childe sighed and got up “Yeah… Yeah you're right. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow”

As Childe left for bed you hung around for a second longer, picking up the mask, you looked into the face of Tartaglia.

[lurkingshan]

8 and 17

May/December

I had a long chat with @bengiyo and @twig-tea about this trope last night and what actually counts for it. It's age gap, but not just any age gap. M/D requires that the pair be in different seasons of life (thus the name). There is no strict age cutoff or specific amount of years that needs to be between them; what matters more is the story has to be rooted in their different stages of life and how they work across that to find a way to connect. And I do have a favorite in this category...

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

Yes, the show many dare not speak of. It has always made me sad that the A story of this drama was so upsetting to people, because it meant the B story, and these two right here, got overlooked and under-discussed. When they meet at the gym, Bo Xiang is 16 and he acts like it--he's a sweet kid but he's very immature and impulsive and mercurial. Zhi Gang is in his late 20s, running his own small business, and recovering from a whole lot of heartbreak due to both former lovers and his homophobic family who has rejected him. He is broken and afraid to trust, and Bo Xiang is instantly smitten with him and pledges his undying devotion.

What I like about this age gap romance is the show takes it seriously. Zhi Gang is concerned about a teenager crushing on him and puts up boundaries, while at the same time he is drawn to Bo Xiang's warmth and unwavering support. Bo Xiang has all the passion and fervor of a kid who's never been burned and doesn't know to be afraid, and he sees so much good in Zhi Gang, which is a balm to Zhi Gang's wounds. They are very attracted to each other and once they give in to that attraction, the story turns to figuring out how a relationship between them could possibly work. Zhi Gang agrees to see Bo Xiang but only under certain conditions, demanding that he focus on his studies and his work and not get wrapped up in their relationship. And we see that against all odds, they actually make a great pair, with Zhi Gang inspiring Bo Xiang to mature and take his life more seriously, and Bo Xiang giving Zhi Gang the comfort and stability he needs to heal. The series brings them back years later in HIStory 4 to show us they are still going steady and now getting married, and it was completely believable to me that they would be. These two work.

Ugly Duckling

Let's talk about this trope too, because I've chatted with a few friends who were not entirely sure what it meant. UD is a trope centered on a character who feels unlovable, often in part but not wholly because of some perceived deficit in their physical appearance, who finds love and through that love a path toward self-acceptance and confidence in themselves. That second part is crucial--it doesn't necessarily require a physical makeover, but the internal journey is deeply important to the trope. It's not just about characters who are "ugly" (there really aren't any ugly people in dramas, fam) but rather that journey to loving themselves that matters. I want to shout out one of my favorites in this category...

Blueming

Si Won grew up as a fat kid, and though he is thin now and quite clearly conventionally attractive, he doesn't feel that way on the inside. He carries a lot of trauma about the way he was made to feel ugly as a child by both his mother and the society he lived in. He is threatened by Da Un because he seems so effortless in the way he carries himself and in his easy confidence, and Si Won has never felt easy in his life. He resents him, and Da Un is at first puzzled by this, and then moved when he realizes the source of Si Won's insecurities. Their romance is healing for Si Won, in that it allows him to build some much needed confidence in himself (which is why the final act conflict between them was so smart IMO, because Da Un ended up undercutting that newfound confidence in a way he did not intend). By the end of this story Si Won has come to respect himself enough to demand what he needs from a partner, and to believe that he has something to offer in return. It's such a lovely story.

Send me a number and I’ll post the best and/or my fave show that uses that trope

[flipping-the-coin]

[Patient Report: OP-7845-91653]

[Authorization Requirement: Alpha]

[Document Status: Sensitive - 99% preserved]

[Listed Authorized Individuals: Primal Steward Ratchet]

[Overseeing Medical Personnel: - Primary Physician: CMO Ratchet - Secondary Assistant: First Aid]

[Session: #001]

═════════════════

I was called to perform an emergency checkup on patient OP-7845-91653 roughly half a groon after mid cycle. The call was sent by the patient's Conjunx [Note: Conjunx status still not legalized] and I arrived within the following twenty Kliks.

Upon arrival the patient's Conjunx was rather hostile but escorted me into the residence [Note: Residence unregistered - cannot be listed]. Signs of an intense and frantic struggle were evident within the hab in large part due to the damaged furnishings and the various claw marks on the walls. Initial observations led me to consider extreme paranoia and schizophrenia as possible mental ailments.

The patient was in a catatonic state upon my arrival. He was practically feral and curled up in a ball in the center of the living room. He remained unresponsive until I attempted to begin repairing the wounds he inflicted on himself in his madness. Possibly due to the tools or my presence, he flew into a rage the moment I attempted to work on his injuries. The patient needed to be pinned by his Conjunx and sedated by me in order for any sort of progress to be made.

At that point I tended to what wounds I could and then spoke at length with the patient's Conjunx about what symptoms he presents on a regular basis. According to what information I was given, patient OP-7845-91653 will be a long term care project. He suffers from extreme paranoia, minor schizophrenia, partial bipolar disorder, extreme PTSD and trauma, stimuli sensitivity, dissociation, and field management disorder of the third degree. The source of these issues has so far proven to be because of [Subject: Optimus Prime - See file for affiliation description].

For the time being, the patient will need to be put onto strong medication to dull his severe responses to external stimuli. My current prescription is sedatives [Chemical composition YD-7869], sensory blockers [Patch type SUO-3602], and therapeutic exercises [Sensory Adjustment Therapy - Type 90897]. My assistant will deliver the prescription medication within the next cycle and report on any changes in the meantime. The patient's next checkup will be in a stellar cycle and will continue to have similar checkups regularly until confirmed to be more stable.

[Personal Note: I never thought I would live to see the day when the face I knew so well could be contorted in such fear. Optimus never showed such expressions, he was always stoic and controlled in every action and word. Orion though? Whatever happened to him while he was sharing a frame with Optimus... it damaged him so deeply that I fear he may not recover.

He is... terrifying to say the least. The friend I knew before the war seems all but gone now. It is my hope that with time I can fix this... that I can ensure what little remains of Optimus is kept safe and preserved. I know this is not the correct way to think of my friend, but how can I not? He looks so much like Optimus it makes my tanks churn.

I may not be the best Doctor for this case. I cannot remain impartial like this. However at the moment I am quite possibly the only Doctor on Cybertron who can handle a situation this severe. So for the time being... I will endure and do what I can. Its what Optimus would have wanted, and it is what I owe my old friend after everything, even if his Conjunx is a mech I would rather see shredded bit by bit publicly.]

═════════════════

[Assistant First Aid's Report:

Medication was delivered without issue! Mr. Pax's Conjunx was a bit scary, but thankfully he took the package and didn't do anything else. I wasn't able to get a good look at the situation so far, but maybe next time I deliver a package I can check up on Mr. Pax properly.]

[kristailine]

On Kazuya's and Jun's Love Languages

I really love this ship with all my heart like I think I shipped them way before I have known what shipping meant. It's so frustrating that we really don't know much about their relationship and dynamic in canon but I can't help but wonder what they would've been like as a couple >.<

For me, personally, I really do think that Kazuya and Jun are both suckers on Quality Time. I feel like once they felt their attraction to the other, they kept longing to be in each other's presence, and at first Kaz was probably like "I just have to know more about her because she's mysterious." and shit like that like hunny, just say you're crushing on her 😩

Jun probably thought the same like "I need to be in his presence because of the darkness that surrounds him." Just say he's hot and you wanna date him, girl.

When they do hang out together, they make the most out of their time and just really let themselves get lost in the moment. It probably also supports that no matter how short the KOIFT 2 was, it was enough quality time for them to bond with each other enough for them to fall in love or get closer to one another or however viewers wanna interpret it (as we wait for tk8 to confirm wth happened between them in tk2).

Kazuya's secondary love language - I think I'm leaning mostly on Acts of Service. He probably isn't aware because he just thinks he's doing people a favor, but unconsciously, it's his way to show that he cares about the people he values. Like that man helped Bruce seek refuge after the plane crash and fake his death so he doesn't get caught by interpol. Hell he even granted Anna her request of being put in cryo sleep.

Doing acts of service to express his love for Jun was probably the most convenient and easiest way he could ever express how much he cares about her. Other love languages are just too explicit so he mostly tries to reason to himself that 'he's just doing Jun a favor' but it's probably him doing his best to get the message across that he truly values her so he's willing to do such things for her.

I can just imagine Jun having a bad day, and Kaz, being the man that he is who sucks with speaking comforting words and probably never initiated physical affection to anyone, gets up from his seat and goes "I'll show you some of the floras in the Mishima Estate garden since you love ecology so much." and then hopes she'll feel better. "I'll go get Lee to fix those papers you need for your work." or maybe even when they're sparring, Kazuya would always be the one to get her a bottle of water and a towel to wipe her sweat off with, since Jun is probably out of breath and needs more time to recover.

Jun's secondary love language - Words of Affirmation. Have ya'll just seen the sappiest ass shit she says to Kazuya in her tk8 intros and outros and even in Tekken Motion Picture like girlie has a helluva lot to say and she is so valid so let her speak 🗣️

Tekken Bloodline (tho non canon ugh) also kinda portrays Jun being comforting with words with the way she talks to Jin after his encounter with the bullies. Jun is seen as having some kind of profound sense of wisdom which enables her to empathize and feel people due to her being psychic and also spending most of her time during childhood getting in touch with nature. So I think with that, she always has the right words to say, and she knows exactly how to put into words how much she cares for a person. Plus she's an INFJ (lol).

Kazuya probably wouldn't have let her in his life had Jun not said the right words upon meeting him. Kazuya being in such a powerful position during TK2 had him surrounded with people who only spoke of deceit and lies to get to his good side and all that, and seeing how genuine Jun was with her words and how much it deeply soothed some of his inner wounds may have deepened the way he saw her. Thus, they became closer.

I do like to think that even though Jun is good with her words, she never really got the guts to outright say I love you to Kazuya 😩 I think she be too shy and bashful for that but argh with a little bit more of delulu to the ship, maybe I can convince myself that she did. Objectively speaking really, I don't think she could ever have said it during TK2.

Honorable mentions to Jun's secondary love language - Physical touch. Like idkkkkk, probably just me but I think I got it from somewhere that her tk8 outro literal translation kinda says she wants to snuggle up to Kazuya, and that is just so sweet 😩 im crying

Just a few two cents on them really :>>

[silvernyxchariot]

The Swan Song of Heavenly Hound

TW/CW: angst, because it's sad hours; character death (not a canon character's, dw about that); blood🩸/gore (just a smidgen 👌); idk, out of character, but then again, this is CCxSelf-insert, duh; written at 01:30, posted at 02:45

Series: One Piece, Doflamingo x OPsona, End of series timeline/Eustass Kid is King of the Pirates

Word Count: 670

"I'm so very tired, Joker."

Explosions littered the battlefield. The ringing in Doflamingo's ears made it difficult for him to hear Manda’s already fading voice. Instead of his signature smile, a deep frown wrinkled his face. "You're always tired..." he said without even any malice.

Blood flooded out of Manda’s mouth and oozed out of one of their nostrils. Their under eyes were decorated with grey bags, utterly weary from the days long war Kid and Doflamingo got their combined crews into. That strange alliance always made other pirates and even the World Government confused and wonder.

"You..." they huffed out between breaths, "promised me... you would destroy everything..." Tears spilled from corners of their eyes. Little waterfalls they were. "Why haven't you done that yet?" Manda didn't really care for an answer. They only wanted to keep listening to their beloved's voice.

What they wanted to keep hearing was Doflamingo's sinister baritone voice rumble as they were held in his arms, close to his chest, and his arrogant laughter. "You don't want the world to end. You wanted to end your pain." But what they didn't expect was the truth that both of them had denied themselves.

Manda’s breathing hitched before slowing down to a faint but steady rhythm.

"Do you want me to end it for you?" He asked, plain as day, knowing full well Manda’s wounds were fatal and their body was nothing but a destroyed bundle of flesh and broken bones. An exposed rib cage, limbs cut and sliced open, missing half of their left hand, a chonk of their thigh was bitten off, and days without a moment to rest. One's devil fruit was only so powerful. They'll never recover.

Doflamingo's much smaller partner felt like a broken porcelain doll in his arms. They tilted their head side to side, sluggishly indicating "no."

"I just want to stay here..." their voice fading further into near soundlessness, "with you, Doffy."

After a brief moment, like the flicker from a matchlock being fired, Manda’s eyes shut permanently, and their head lulled into Doflamingo's already blood-stained chest. Veins popped out of Doflamingo's forehead.

Is this what Big Mom felt? Or Kaido when they were being invaded by the Straw Hats back in their day? Too many thoughts but not enough action. Doflamingo couldn't stay in this spot forever.

As much as he wanted to mourn the loss of his longest term partner, he could do nothing more than wrap their body in threads, in a protective cocoon, to retrieve later. For the war has not ended. And his age of piracy was over. It was a new generation treating them like the old has-beens of a bygone era.

Log notes... [After the war]

""Demon Dog," Jiruga Manda of the Kid Pirates has been eliminated and weakened their fighting strength significantly," the World Goverment recorded.

"Eustass "Captain" Kid, King of the Pirates?! The Kid Pirates are deeply wounded and have hidden themselves to recover from their losses," the News Coo would headline.

Yes, all his officers knew he was still mourning, after all this time, the only bitch who would put up with him and not just for beri, expensive jewelry, clothes, or status.

Doflamingo was left on his little throne at his small island base, one he had built with Manda after they had freed him from Impel Down. With an empty seat next to him. He wore his expensive suits again. Mostly black with purple accents. He rarely smiled like he did when he ruled Dressrosa and always showed his displeasure, never bothering to mask his feelings. And he usually brandished a firearm, one his beloved designed for him years ago.

Senior Pink, though... He noticed the changes, too, but he was the only one who understood why Doflamingo wore his best outfits again, why they were usually pink and black, or why Doflamingo would explicitly ask for white lilies to be brought to him in November.

"That hound from the Kid Pirates always loved Doflamingo in his business attire..."

.

.

.

I have not yet edited my OPsona's name from "Manda" to "Nyx," and I'm honestly too tired to care.

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Personality Types Part 12: Isuzu Sohma

I shared once in an ask that it took me some time to warm up to Rin as a character. I didn't totally understand her, beyond just having an especially tragic backstory. But the more time I spend with her (writing her, rereading her scenes, etc...), the more I really love her.

I think one of the things that makes Rin hard to understand is the sheer weight of her trauma. It takes a lot of time to recover from much less traumatic events, and that's WITH a good support network. Rin is very much still in the trenches during Fruits Basket.

I wish we'd gotten to see more of her true self; the self she can be when she's not still re-establishing her safety.

I think understanding her as a character helped me be kinder to myself through my own trauma integration, and I appreciate that Takaya shows us characters who are in different stages of that process.

Anyway, on to Rin's personality type!

Isuzu Sohma's Enneagram

Wound: Rin had a seemingly happy and stable life until she asked her parents if they were really happy. Suddenly, she was subject to nonstop physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, and eventually neglect, taking a major, permanent toll on her health.

Wounding message: Don't trust anyone. When things seem good, that's when you're most vulnerable. Don't let anyone know what you're thinking.

Core desire: For her loved ones to be safe.

Core fear: That she'll cause her loved ones to get hurt.

Defense mechanism: Never show vulnerability, don't rely on anyone, work alone.

Strengths: Rin is determined, loyal, fiercely protective of the people she loves, deeply caring, strong-willed, creative, able to cut to the meat of most conversations

Challenges: Rin is stubborn, self-sacrificing, dismissive of her own needs and safety, secretive, suspicious, closed off, emotionally dishonest

When healthy: Rin is more emotionally honest and accepting of her painful feelings, she's accepting of help, she has more obviously close relationships with more people, and she's gentler.

When unhealthy: Rin is self-sacrificing to a frenzied degree, forgetting to eat, working past the point of exhaustion, and pushing away everyone she cares about so they don't get hurt.

Looking at all of this, here's what connects when I go back to the Enneagram post:

Wound: 6 or 8

Wounding message: 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8

Core desire: 6 or 8

Core fear: 6 or 8

Defense mechanism: 5 or 8

Strengths: 8

Challenges: 5, 6, or 8

When healthy: 2, 3, or 8

When unhealthy: 8 or 9

I think you could make a very good case for either 6 or 8 for Rin. Eights go to Five when unhealthy, and Two when healthy, which does connect for Rin slightly better than Sixes, which go to Nine when healthy and Three when unhealthy. She gets more secretive and anxious, rather than competitive and arrogant, when she's stressed. For this reason, I see Rin as an Enneagram 8.

Eights live in the Gut center, and tend to overexpress anger. I think Rin does overexpress anger rather than fear (even in the way a Counter Phobic 6 would overexpress fear). I also think Rin seems to be more of a Gut type than a Head type.

Wing

I think Rin is most likely an 8w7 ("The Maverick").

EnneaApp describes 8w7s like this:

Has a forceful, engaging personality; opinionated; can be motivating

Will take big risks to implement their vision; impulsive tendencies

Sociable, talkative, and interactive, but not to gain others' approval

Confident & independent thinker; self-disciplined and self-directed

Competitive towards personal ends; may have an addictive personality

To me, this is a perfect description of Rin!

I'll share that I got Rin and Kyo backwards when I first analyzed them. I saw Kyo as an 8w7 and Rin as a 6w5. I think those two types have a lot in common (especially for Counter Phobic Sixes), but this more detailed analysis has changed my view!

Subtype

Rin is a little challenging to figure out here, but I think she might be a SO 8w7.

Enneagram Explained describes SO Eights like this:

SO 8s are the Countertype of type 8 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (lust). These 8s focus on using their power and influence to serve and protect those in their group. They are very aware of injustice and less aggressive than other 8s.

To me, this best describes Rin. I think this might be part of why she has so many 6-ish qualities; she's intensely loyal to her "group," and uses her strong will and intimidating personality in service of them.

Tritype

Rin's Head type is obviously 6, and I think her Heart type is 4, making her a 4-6-8 (The Truth Teller).

This tritype is described on Katherine Fauvre's website:

If you are a 468, you are intuitive, inquisitive, and protective. You want to be original, certain, and straightforward. You are outspoken and opinionated yet deeply sensitive and introspective. Your high sensitivity drives you to seek immediate resolution to potential issues or threats. You excel at detecting inconsistencies and exposing hidden agendas, deception, and ulterior motives. While are very kind, loving, and protective, your intensity may lead to lightning-fast reactions to careless acts or thoughtless deeds.

Isuzu Sohma's MBTI

I want to do this a little differently for Rin, focusing first on her Type Dynamics.

Type Dynamics:

Sensing: I think Rin Introverts her Sensing, and I think this is her Dominant function

Feeling: I think Rin Extroverts her Feeling, and I think this is her Auxiliary function

Thinking: Given that Rin Extroverts her Feeling, she must Introvert her Thinking (which does ring true for her)

iNtuiting: Given that Rin Introverts her Sensing, she must Extrovert her iNtuiting, and this must be her Inferior function.

This makes her Si Fe Ti Ne

Since we see Rin in times of extreme stress, I want to look at what The Myers & Briggs Foundation says about Si as a Dominant function and Ne as an inferior function in times of stress:

(When Dominant Si is exaggerated) "dogmatic, obsess about unimportant data, withdraw"

(When Inferior Ne is activated) "lose sight of details and facts, impulsive behaviors, worry over multiple possibilities, too many options (catastrophize the future)"

This is an excellent description of Rin when she's stressed!

Si Fe Ti Ne is the type dynamic of ISFJ, which is often called "The Defender."

Here's how the Myers & Briggs Foundation describes ISFJ:

ISFJ: Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.

So, to summarize:

Enneagram: SO 8w7 (The Challenger/The Maverick)

Tritype: 4-6-8 (The Truth Teller)

MBTI: ISFJ (The Defender)

What do you think? Did I get it right or wrong? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Next up: Hiro!

Fruits Basket Personality Types: Enneagram | MBTI | Tohru | Akito | Kyo | Yuki | Haru | Kisa | Momiji | Hatori | Ayame | Hiro | Ritsu | Kureno | Shigure | Kagura | Kazuma | Saki | Arisa | Machi | Kakeru | The Hondas | Kaibara Students

[daisys-reality]

hello daisy

I was wondering to see if you could maybe give me a reading on my shifting journey for me plz

what I want from this reading is some random messages that I need to hear that is super important for my journey that is from both my spirit guides & from my higher self

also maybe ask them to see what I should do on my journey bc I don't really know what to do tbh to finally shift bc so far I havent yet & it's confusing me & kinda frustrating me ngl

just want my 1st shift to happen already man

you can ignore this btw if you don't do readings for other ppl lmfao

Hello @lilshiftingqueen 😊🌸 I don't mind doing personal reading requests, it is just a matter of time for me. And I have some free time right now to do your reading! Remember to just take from the reading what resonates and to leave what doesn't. No matter what I get in this reading, at the end of the day you will always be the one who decides what will happen, okay? So without further ado, let's get right into it...

[ MAIN MESSAGES ]

This is an ending which you’re going through. But instead of leaving you deeply wounded and in pain while embarking on your new journey, you’re meant to recover and regenerate while going through this as well. A situation that has been troubling you is in the process of coming to an end. Afterwards, you will be able to breathe a sigh of relief. Once the challenging times are behind you, you can finally move on and go through this door step and leave everything behind. It’s important to fully let go at this juncture. If you’re carrying any baggage from the past, now is the time to hand it over to your ‘angels’. Do not resist an inevitable end. You may soon be free of your addictions/codependency issues. Learn to laugh at your problems.    

There is something about a relationship. It could be about the relationship of you and your DR s/o (if you have someone) but it feels more like it’s about your relationship with yourself, the universe, your shifting journey (with your DR/CR). There is some imbalance in this relationship, a lack of harmony. This relationship needs to move into a deeper, more meaningful phase. There are two main messages here: 1) Do not give up on a relationship that feels challenging to you; there is still hope! Relationships that don’t feel harmonious at this time will heal, and you should continue to pursue them. 2) Love yourself first before showing it to others, otherwise, you will never realize your self worth. // Usually a  relationship grows closer and stronger as both parties fall in love. This relationship has the potential to deepen into a very powerful and spiritual connection. Mutual respect and understanding needs to exist or needs to be developed. If this is about your relationship with yourself and your personal journey, then fall in love with yourself and develop respect and understanding for yourself. There might also be broken communication with yourself (like ignoring your needs etc.), try to work on this, listen to yourself and your own inner universe. It will be worth it.

Clouds sometimes block out the sun and the light of truth. Certain things are hidden and this lack of clarity causes doubts and confusion, the vagueness creates misunderstandings and mental stress. At this time, you might feel lost. Ask yourself what doubts you have and where in your life are misunderstandings. Think about how you can be more direct (in your approach). Doubts will probably prevail because something is being hidden from you but try to pin down the details and clear your mind (- like for ex. go back to the basics, the most simple approach). It’s time to learn and grow along the journey. Get ready for the next step in your life.

[ ADDITIONAL SHORT MESSAGES & ADVICE ]

++ Meditate, contemplate and re-evalue. Be careful of boredom/lack of interest and disconnectedness. Become aware, choose happiness for yourself and accept it!

++ Follow values that have a traditional or spiritual aspect. Seek stability and commitment instead of breaking laws and taking risks. Stick to your daily spiritual routines and take a ‘tried and tested’ route. Discover who you are and find the spiritual connection to yourself. You are blessed.

++ ❝ This is not 'predictable' . ❞

++ ❝ What will be, will be. - Let life come to you. Most of the time, things turn out just the way they should in the best way possible, without us having to influence them. ❞

++ ❝ Doubts are natural. They won’t stop it. - It will happen even while you have doubts. ❞

++ The Angel Numbers 52 and 25 could hold other useful messages for you. Feel free to check them out as well ! The picture below is from one of the main cards I got for your reading, I felt the need to show it to you too. It's showing your transition, don't you think so too? It will happen, don't worry. 🩷🍀