#this same concept can probably be applied to other things

[iwanttobepersephone]

So, I may be wrong cause I don't remember much about this, but isn't it said/implied that during gatherings apprentices practice as a group? I assume it would be separated by how many years in you are, with occasional overlap and sometimes just throwing them all together at once. Like I said, I don't remember much about this at all, but I feel like the vibes would be similar to band practice.

I've posted about my band class a couple of times when replying to Enby Rangers' post about funny quotes, with stories such as the drum made of the skin of misbehaving students and the worm on a string that was executed by hanging, but there are so many more things that I just can't quite put into words that I feel are just as funny, or generally nice.

For example, in the beginning band, we had to play a song called "King Vensensluas" (I forgot how to spell it help). Every kid in the beginning band does. Except we, for some reason, would always call it "King Coleslaw", to the point where once we had reached the next year and beginning band was playing the song in concert once more, we all shouted out "King Coleslaw!!!" After the poor kid announced the next song to be played.

We also do these flash cards that have rhythms on them, where we all play a concert B flat and play whatever rhythms are on the card shown. If someone messes up, we redo the card until we all get it right. Sounds like the kids who mess up would be super stressed and feel really bad, right? Nope. Sure, we all 'yell' at the person who messed up, but it's pretty evenly interspersed with light-hearted laughter, and we all feel good.

Plus, in my experience, it doesn't matter your opinion on someone, in band you're all friends. You can hate a person's guts literally every other time you see them, but always laugh when they crack a funny joke in band. It's not just a collection of people who play instruments. It's a community, and it feels like it.

I'm not quite sure why, or how, but I feel like those same vibes can be applied to the Ranger Corps apprentices (the corps a whole too, probably, but mainly the apprentices)

@an1d10t

[suddencolds]

.~

[dennisboobs]

most annoying thing about being me is that i cannot engage with like. any fanon shit about dennis because i'm constantly on some advanced derangement and the stuff i thought two years ago when i was first getting comfy in the fandom is still the way everyone else looks at dennis but i'm like. yes but its Worse than this. you're like a quarter of the way there. this isn't the interesting bit, this is a symptom of it, keep going.

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[salemlunaa]

SURE TIME IS A CONCEPT, BUT THE CLOCK IS TICKING ◔

what more do some of you want?…

A lot of you need to fix up. stop doomscrolling and complaining and actually apply knowledge.

Do you wanna know how to be like those people who enter the void/ induce pure consciousness with ease after struggling, some of them not even struggling at all? All those success stories that you idolise, screenshot, like, reblog and envy all have one thing in common:

They wanted it. Bad. You need to want it

Those people saw all this shit that they didn’t deserve happen to them, they saw how other people were born with the lives they want, and they decided enough was enough. They weren’t taking shit from the world anymore, they were tired of living lives that they dread, tired of looking at people’s lives with envy, tired of the way life was going for them and how the world treated them unprovoked. They were tired of dreading waking up another day in their shitty realities. Tired of hating themselves in the morning because of another unproductive night. They were TIRED and you need to be too, that fuelled their want for their new lives and got them where they are now.

I’m not saying you can’t be in my asks or you can’t be in my dms. But at what point is it enough? at what point does it become pathetic? You go in these bloggers asks and dms and question them on shit that 1: has been said multiple times or 2: is common sense. But fine, keep playing dumb, keep indulging in the assumption that it “just doesn’t work for you” keep pretending that your just this innocent little baby who “doesn’t understand why it’s not working🥺” 🙄anyway…. You can sit here in this community for as many years as you like while people get what they want.

And although time is a malleable concept that can be manipulated, the clock is ticking, it’s almost 2025 and some of you are right where you started. I need to ask you to sit with your self, look at 2025,2026,2027 heck even 2028, do you see yourself still here? be honest, do you genuinely see yourself with your dream life? if not you need to change your mindset, and stop asking how, you know how!!

Locking in and changing your mindset isn’t this big character development that lasts weeks, it can take seconds. So you could’ve had everything yesterday, 15 minutes ago, an hour ago, even a fucking minute ago, but you’re still here choosing to scroll and act stupid, inhaling new information each day like you were born yesterday. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!!! Are you not tired of the same routine, you get motivated from some posts, you get this high, this amazing feeling like you’re so ready to do it, then you procrastinate and if you do manage to try you “fail” and run back to tumblr for the 100th time. Are you not tired of the same shit?

Again, do yall wanna make it to 2025,2026,2027, even 2028 without all the shit you want? At what point does it become enough information and enough questions asked? I know it feels validating and comforting to complain about your circumstances knowing others can relate, but at what point do you stop aligning with the loser who “can’t do it”? Stop acting like you actually give a shit when you say you’re going to apply and then you come back whining. Start acting like you actually want it.

You’re the only one who can change your life, if you want to still complain sure go ahead. Keep the tumblr “for you page” some company while everyone else is actually applying and getting their dream lives. A lot of you don’t want to hear it but with the way you’re wavering you’re probably going to be here for a few more years.

That doesn’t mean you cant change that, i’m not the one who writes your story, it’s you, again, it’s not hard work to change. Like the art of inducing pure consciousness, nothing is hard, nothing needs effort, so you can change your mindset within the snap of a finger and be good to go. But wavering brings you right back to square one.

the clock is ticking and you are STILL here…. LOCK TF IN!!!

SOME OF YOU HAVEN’T MADE ANY SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS, THAT CHANGES NOW!! ⏳💋

[elicathebunny]

FINALLY CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HIGHEST SELF IN 2024.

You are going to STOP scrolling endlessly for self-help and advice content and you are going to STOP and apply the knowledge you have endlessly gained. Obtaining help and advice knowledge is useless if it goes through one ear and comes straight out the other. STOP becoming addicted to the idea of scrolling and scrolling for your problems yet you already have the resources to fix them. A fool is a person who cannot decide to take action despite having access to the information needed to do so.

BREAKING FREE FROM THE SCROLLING CYCLE

Learning and Applying is one thing, but Learning and Staying Stationary is literally brain rot. You're addicted to the idea of change and the end result, but you never take the steps towards discipline with a personal structure to get that result. You keep looking for quick fixes and easy hacks, but life is not a quick fix and no hack can elevate your life from 0% to 100% without visiting the rest of the numbers first.

TAKE A BREAK FROM SCROLLING

Take time away from your usual scrolling and learn to be on your own. Learn your own ways of self-care, learn what works for you and understand what you need, because nobody is the same. Following a millionaire's morning routine will not make you a millionaire. This routine has worked for someone to feel and be productive in the morning and was probably curated over the years to suit their current lifestyle. So, seeing other people's successes and comparing their working ways to your life is unrealistic if you are not in a position to implement them. Going straight from 0% (Being unproductive and procrastinating) to 100% (Being incredibly Productive and in tune with self) will not be sustainable for someone who has not built the discipline and the inner foundations required for it. STOP seeing information online and taking it without ALTERING anything to your personal situation.

STOP ASKING HOW TO AND JUST DO

"How to lose weight, How to become more social, How to do this and that"

Most of these things you ALREADY know the answer to. Everybody knows that to lose weight, you need to burn more than you consume. There is literally no other way, no magic and no secret hack, just that simple fact. I guarantee you know that to become more social you just have to be social. Learn to be comfortable in social situations which will require inner work, but it's not a difficult concept. Most of us know what we need to do, yet we still try to find quick fixes or another way that same message is presented to us differently. We act as if we are improving and developing on our "improvement" journey yet we are just finding coping ways to feel like we are moving, yet we are still in the exact same place as before. I know you know what to do, I know you have researched what you should do and ways you can do it. So why are you not doing it? Why are you still not where you want to be? If you are not where you want to be, then what you're currently doing needs to change. You cannot do the exact same thing you've been doing for years and expect a different outcome. You need to curate a routine suited to your needs that is realistic and achievable to adopt.

LEARNING TO MOVE ON YOUR OWN, STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO FUEL YOUR SUCCESS JOURNEY LISTEN TO: NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU BY JULIENHIMSELF Make yourself your safe space, your foundation. When you see yourself in the mirror you should be able to tell yourself "I love you", you should be so sure in what you do that nobody else can contradict what you believe in yourself, this is the end goal of self-improvement. Many of us have put aside our goals because we "are not ready", "people may judge us" or "I need to be/achieve ___ to.." Now don't get me wrong, I'm on this journey with you. I write on this blog to teach my brain how to think in the higher mindset that I'm creating for myself. I too have thoughts like this which is why in 2024 we are going to break out of our old selves to make room for our new selves together. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. If you're mood and self-worth are controlled by other people's opinions, then you will never advance further with yourself and will remain stationary. You have to stop allowing other people to determine whether you are allowed to pursue your desires or if you shouldn't because of fear of rejection. Don't take life too seriously, we are only here for so much time. So what if people make fun of you? In a few years will you look back and be proud and fulfilled of your past or feel regret and disappointment? LISTEN TO: WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH BY JULIANHIMSELF + LISTEN TO: HOW TO DETACH BY VICKITA TRIVEDI

The only way to get to 0%-100% is by doing.

Embody your potential

[felassan]

David Gaider on Zevran, under a cut for length:

"I was going to skip over Zevran, honestly, as I felt like I didn't have a lot to tell in the way of stories about him... but I know he still has some (ardent) fans. Plus, on reflection, I thought maybe I DO have a few things to say. 😅 Sooo we'll see how this goes. Zevran came along much later in the DAO process, as we were trying to round out the cast of party members. Alistair and Morrigan were well underway (as "main" characters, they were concepted very early) and I'd just started to consider who our Rogue followers might be when... things changed, a bit. See, BioWare had released a game not long beforehand called Jade Empire. It had included some same-sex options in its romances - not obscured like the way Juhani's "romance" had been hinted at in KotOR, but explicit. To this day, I have no idea who on the Jade Empire team was behind it, or why. More to the point, the same-sex options had received a lot of attention and praise - almost universal praise, in fact. In 2005, everyone was just pleasantly surprised. And I don't recall if I went to James and asked about it or if he came to me to suggest DAO should include it. The latter, I think."

"You might ask "Aren't you gay, Dave? Weren't you already pushing for this?" And the answer to that is, emphatically, "no, not at all". It might seem odd looking through the lens of 2024, but there was no talk of 'representation' or 'diversity'. Not at any level where we were aware of it, anyhow. Today, fans argue about how MUCH representation to include and whether it's done well enough... the idea that, less than twenty years ago, it being included *at all* was very much in doubt feels so far away. But, back then, I'd always assumed my private life and my work in games would never meet. So I think it was James who brought it up, because I remember being startled. Pleasantly so, of course. Now I had to look at our two rogues and figure out how this would apply. I sketched out the female of the two (who was taken on by Sheryl Chee) and then looked at the male - he who became Zevran. I'd been reading about the CIA and one thing that stuck with me was how they'd (allegedly) recruit gay men as assassins because they rarely had familial ties. Zevran wasn't going to be gay (bisexuality wasn't a question of representation, but a cost-benefit compromise) but that was the inspiration."

"Then there was the question of how "flamboyantly" I was writing this character, whether that might be too stereotypical? I don't remember how it arose, but I had too many "flamboyant" friends to do anything other than double down. This character was gonna be Zorro the goddamn Gay Blade, that's what. So that's how Zevran happened. Fun, a bit nihilistic, maybe a bit too overtly flirty for today's audience but very confidently *sexual*. Everything I'm not, so I'll admit it was an interesting exploration to dig down and find that voice somewhere inside. He was the anti-Alistair, and I needed that. Casting him was difficult. Caroline always tried to go for authentic accents, when we could, but for some reason this was getting us nowhere. I think back, and I suspect it's because I hadn't yet learned the lesson to not use terms in casting descriptions I thought were universal... but were not. What do I mean by that? Well, there was one write-up that said "drow elf". Now, I know what a drow elf is. It wasn't even important to the description, but the director saw the word "elf", and you know what we got back? A Keebler elf. Like a leprachaun, high and sweet and cutsie. Can you imagine?"

"In this case, I think it was the use of the word "assassin". Combine that with the sorts of roles many Hispanic actors in LA probably are asked to play, and all the auditions we were getting were 150% dark, mean, and gritty. 🫠 So we widened the casting call a bit, and this led us to Jon Curry. I knew Jon wasn't Hispanic, but what I wasn't prepared for when I flew down to meet the DAO actors was that he's this extremely tall, extremely Nordic looking dude who just happened to do the most amazing Antonio Banderas impression. Watching THAT man channel Zevran was... more than a bit surreal. 😅 And he had fun with it. As soon as we gave him the go ahead to play the fun and flirtiness to the hilt, that's exactly what he did. Over the few days where we found Zevran's voice, it totally supplied me with something I could hold in my head when I went back to Edmonton and finished writing him. Zevran was funny enough that the fans liked him. The only part of the reception I thought odd was the occasional comment by a male player who felt "tricked" into having sex with Zevran. "You mean... that part where he invites you to his tent for a sensual massage?" "Yes! I was expecting a massage!" "He literally says the massage is sensual." "Well he wasn't clear enough!" This is where I first came to the conclusion that a certain number of our players just don't know how to people. And that maybe an adjustment to the way we approached the messaging (or massaging lol) of romance was in order. If I could go back, would I change anything? Maybe I'd remind the systems team Zevran should really be able to pick a lock. And maybe not allow him to die. We had no idea we'd need to import these choices into the future - we kinda thought DAO was "one and done". Not so much, as it turned out. 😁"

[source thread]

David Gaider: "there's something to be said about how Zevran flirted and even had sex with you because he thought that's all he had to offer... not just you, but anyone. And when he realized you wanted something deeper, suddenly he was on unsteady ground and it truly unsettled him. It was fun to explore." [source]

User: "So David - besides loving the fact that the third image you picked is a gay sex scene - what happened in DA2(DAE - come on) with Zevrans design?" David Gaider: "Check the ALT text. It wasn’t a custom sculpt, so that’s as close as they could get it. Which… was not close." [source]

User: "Just to make sure I fully understand: the director (was it the voice director?) saw the word "elf" and thought you were looking for someone high, sweet, and cutesie?" David Gaider: "Yeah, this was from back before we managed VO in-house. The voice director in this case just didn’t have an association with “elf” like some familiar with fantasy would." [source]

[shurisneakers]

unsolved (v)

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, witchcraft

A/N: it's like i never left amirite (im sorry it has been like 10 months pls forgive me ily guys let's pretend this series never went on hiatus) (i had cancer and college but now I've graduated from both and i live babyyy. anyway. welcome back to my house of horrors)

Previous part || Series masterlist

When you tell Maya you want to do witchcraft, you'd done so with the full expectation of defending your idea with the force of a PhD student who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

She surprisingly agrees. 

“Really?” It's hard to stop the astonishment from entering your voice. Honestly, it sort of pisses you off that the Canva presentation you spent five hours on wouldn't actually see the light of day.

“Yeah, sure. I think it'd do well with the older demographic. ” She shrugs.

"Really?" Now you weren't sure she was on the same plane of existence as you were.

“Make some animals talk. Conjure up some parking spots.”

Ah. 

“I was thinking more like... hexing people and shadow demons,” you test slowly.

That seems to tether her to reality.

Her head cranes towards you centimetre by centimetre, like she was buffering in real time.

“Are you insane?" she states, not very much sounding like she was expecting an answer. "Do you want to end up on the news? Do you know how vicious Facebook groups can be?” 

“No PR is bad PR,” you preach wisely, parroting advice you’d seen bots on Twitter tell other bots. 

“That doesn’t apply to you. I already have a tough time explaining Stephen Strange and why he’s not literally the devil to the public."

Now that was a little unfair. Perhaps it warranted another Canva presentation.

"Have you considered that I'm hotter and significantly cooler than Stephen Strange?" you suggest helpfully.

She squints at you, or more likely your audacity. "I will not have another scandal on my hands this week.” 

“But next week is okay?”

Her hardened stare tells you quickly what a thousand words cannot.

You cross your arms over your chest. “Thou limit me so, Maya. How is one to find you invigorating content in these trying circumstances?”

Maya taps your shoulder on her way out, crooning, “There’s a reason I asked you to do this series. You’ll figure it out.”

You hide a smile with an all too dramatic sigh. “Thou compliment me so. How am I to not fall in love with thee?”

Maya shakes her head playfully. “Nothing that will get me called into a press conference by mid-day. No hexing. No extreme curses. ”

“Mid-level curses it is, then” you call after her.

Her leaving figure does not give you a reply.

After a week of staring at the corner of his room through the night, delirious to the point where he seriously considered using Sam’s Amazon Prime account to buy his own stupid ghost apparatuses, Bucky throws in the towel.

Clearly, he was mistaken. Sleep deprived and probably missing his family a little more than he would have ever admitted to a living soul.

Bucky's sleep deprivation adds to his already charming and sociable personality.

No one would touch him with a ten-foot pole. Bucky’s usually grumpy and while everyone had sort of built a tolerance towards his regular nonsense, he was now the very sexy combination of grumpy and sensitive.

For his part, after last week's shenanigans, Bucky has stuck to avoiding anything and everything horror.

He watches only romcoms and finds that while everyone says he seems most like Harry from Harry Met Sally, he hates that Mike Wazowski motherfucker with a passion. 

While everyone else seems to get the memo, you have chosen to ignore it blissfully, and have instead been prancing about all week, shoving meme after meme into his face.

Bucky Barnes smiling compilations that were 7 seconds long. Bucky Barnes social media fanfictions that showed him replying far more than he had ever replied to anyone in real life ever.

Bucky’s learnt to ignore you with a long-suffering glare. You adapt quickly, skillfully dodge the daggers shooting out of his eyes and shove another TikTok in his face. It is an edit of him to Toxic by Britney Spears. He doesn't want to ask where they got some of the footage they used.

After the fifth Twitter screenshot, he takes to avoiding you like the plague.

Unfortunately for Maya, that involved avoiding the set too. He sees on the official The Graveyard Shift channels that there’s an announcement put out about an episode delay. 

It is undeniably his fault. No, he still won't answer the group chat or the several knocks at his door every day.

But because the universe is invested in his sorrow, you seem to find him wherever he goes.

In the garden, digging through the vegetable bed.

In the storeroom, looking through oversized cookware.

When he walked into the alley behind the Tower and found you there, he hissed at you like a feral cat and you asked very loudly what the fuck was wrong with him. 

He checks every part of him and all his clothes for a tracker but no-- you just seem to have a karmic connection level of being exactly where he is. 

When he runs into you for the fourth time at the library, he really thinks he’s lost it.

“Are you following me?” he asks, voice sharp.

You look at him in wonder. “Your ego is so big it could have its own gravitational pull. How do you carry around your massive head all day?"

“Everywhere I go, you’re there.” He continues, finger pointing in accusation. 

“Bitch, you're the one who walked in here," you exclaim. "I’ve been here all day.”

“Doing what?”

“Who’s following who now?” you dare.

“Because you’re in this section.” He does a quick check to see what section it actually is. Witchcraft and Wizardry. He may not have known that when he accused you but he definitely was not wrong.

“Why do you care what I do here?”

Because he's wondering if he’s managed to shut down production permanently and sent a bunch of people into unemployment.

“I don’t trust you here," he settles on instead. "What are you actually doing?"

“I’m learning things. Gaining knowledge. And such." You gesture vaguely before you narrow your eyes at him. "Not that you would know, you ape.”

He scoffs. He had the intelligence of a thousand suns, mind you.

“You don’t even have a book," he counters.

“So? I’m gaining knowledge through osmosis.” You look around. “I’m absorbing.”

His nose twitches, teeth clenched.

“Whatever,” he mumbles instead, turning his attention to the bookshelf.

As he thumbs through various titles he’s too annoyed to read, a small movement catches his attention. 

He watches you from the corner of his eyes. 

“What?” you demand, this whole exchange too damn loud for a library. 

“What?” he challenges right back. “Why are you watching me?”

“Why am I– you’re the one staring at me.” You throw your hands up. “First you follow me here, second you accuse me of things that would get me burnt at the stake a couple of years ago, third you accuse me of watching you just 'cause you know you're pretty. You–”

Bucky narrows his eyes, not missing the random compliment you slipped in.

“Hold on just one second. That’s why you’ve been avoiding everyone all week.” You stare at him, wide-eyed and unrelenting.

He thinks he must have missed some part of the conversation because he has no idea why you're looking at him like you've figured him all out.

“That’s why you’ve been so jumpy and sleep deprived ever since that episode you filmed.”

Bucky’s gaze doesn’t waver, but his mind races and his breath falters for a second. There’s no goddamn way you knew what had gone down, he’d deleted every footage that could possibly–

“You missed me.”

He stops his overthinking right in its tracks.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” You tilt your head, face full of pure sympathy. “You filmed one episode without me by your side and realised you couldn’t live without me.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” he mutters, eyes pressed closed tighty, partially in relief. 

“You want me, don’t you? You want me so bad it makes you throw u–”

“Fuck off.” Bucky turns on his heel at the speed of light.

“You have a fat, raging crush–”  

“I’m fuckin' moving out.” His voice is like rocks.

“You can move out, but you can never move on, baby,” you whisper-shout. “When’d you realise you liked me, Bucky? Night one? The first hou–”

He slams the library door behind him. 

From: Stevie Left some strawberries outside your door. They’re good. 

From: Stevie How are you doing today, by the way?

From: Bucky alive

From: Bucky and thanks 

From: Stevie Anything we have to talk about? Your wood chisels didn’t break again, did they?

From: Bucky nothing im fine

From: Stevie You sure? Time for a Cypress Hills visit?

From: Bucky no im fine 

From: Stevie You haven’t left the room in a week. Beat your old record and I'm going to start getting worried here.

Bucky stares at his phone wondering how he ended up with a mother a century after his own died, before sighing.

From: Bucky going to film a video this week. im fine

From: Bucky promise 

Because there really was no other way to convince Steve that he as leaving the cave he constructed from his comforter.

From: Steve Good to hear. I’m always across the hallway if you need anything. 

From: Bucky i know. your gramophone won’t let me forget it. 

From: Steve Dick.

From: Bucky it is too damn loud. old ass

From: Steve Got a new record. Haven’t listened to it yet.

From: Bucky ill be there in 10

That Friday, Bucky walks onto the set in his finest black hoodie and darkest sunglasses, looking less like a badass and entirely like a hungover teenager. 

Before he has a chance to even register what’s going on, he is ambushed by lights, a team touching up his face and his stupid dollar store sunglasses leave him before he has a chance to protest.  

“I told you he’d show up,” you pipe up proudly from your place at the table. “Lil' shit simply missed me too–”

“Stop,” he interrupts, finally getting around to look at the set when the foundation brushes stop assaulting his line of vision. 

For a hot second, he thinks you've taken over Steve's cooking show. 

There are candles floating around, which he assumes you're holding up. A large… cauldron, gigantic wooden mixing spoons and 50 little bowls worth of ingredients are neatly arranged on the table.

“What the hell is going on?” he questions immediately. “What is all this?”

“Mise en place, baby,” you reply, shutting a book you had on the table loudly before looking at him. “You’re on dish duty. Come on.” 

“What?” His eyebrows pull into a frown. 

You dust off your hands before reaching under the table and chucking an apron at him. “Back when I worked as a line cook, the number one rule was to clean up as you go. I like to think of it as--”

“What is going on here?” he specifies, already trying to piece together your timeline in his head with every new piece of lore.

“Welcome to my kitchen, motherfucker.” Your grin is nefarious. “We're gonna do some witchcraft.” 

After he spends fifteen minutes on the phone with Maya confirming that yes, that is indeed the episode and that the heads up he needed would have reached him if he opened the seventeen million messages on the group chat– he finally comes to stand behind the bench with you, a tick in his jaw but also with enough self-awareness to be sheepish. 

He thought his grand return to the channel would be a simple video with some ghost reading or whatever, not… this. 

He turns to you, ready to reach a compromise that ends with him not having to be there at all.

But in the fifteen minutes he had turned his attention to the call, you’ve somehow convinced them to start rolling before he gets the chance to leave, so he’s immediately hit with a--

“We’re on in three…two–”

“Where is your apron?” you demand, looking him up and down.

“I’m not wearing that shit.” It had some stupid slogan like ‘Life is about taking whisks!’ and he had already been through enough.

“Jeez, annyone would think that you're not in love with me--"

"I'm not."

"--by the way you're so ungrateful. I got that custom-made for you,” you tsk. “I could've gotten the other one. Mine could've said ‘he’s my sweet potato’ and yours could've said ‘I yam’.”

Bucky experiences a whole-body chill. 

“Whatever," you dismiss with a wave of hand before looking into the camera. "Before we get started, we recognize that for some, witchcraft is a deeply meaningful religion and spiritual practice that should be approached with respect and curiosity.”

“We’re not claiming this is the definitive guide to witchcraft, we’re simply trying out a book that’s been highly recommended for better or worse, and seeing where it leads us. Whaddya say, Bucko?

You look at him for input. Bucky stares at the dusty, hole-ridden monstrosity on the table.

“What’s it called?” Bucky asks finally after a long pause.

You tap the thick, old book. “Witchcraft for Weenies: A Totally Legit Guide to Authentic Witchcraft by A. Harkness.”

“Is that the actual name or are you just making it up?”  

“Rich coming from the only one between us who actually lied on camera--" you glare at him. "I would never fabricate my sources, I’m a champion for academic integrity.”

You pick up the book to show him, flipping it towards the camera too and sure enough, the book that was basically falling apart at the binding was called exactly that.

“Let’s-a go, baby.”

You stare at him, lips pressed together. Bucky gives no inclination towards changing his answer. 

“Fine. We’re going to do this the hard way, I see.” You exhale, reaching into the pocket of your apron. 

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together when you brandish a deck of cards, yank his arm towards you and drop it into his open palm. 

“Shuffle," you command.

Something very familiar faces him.

Bucky stares at the cards before looking back at you. “Why’s my face on it?”

“It’s a tarot deck I got from Comic Con,” you insist. “Avengers themed. Now shuffle it.”

He thinks you left that card on top on purpose, but regardless, he's already been too much of a menace to the crew to be the cause of any more disturbance.

So he slowly begins, careful and skilled, before you scoff in his face.

“Faster, grandpa," you chide. “I’ve seen the way those hands cut garlic when no one’s around, I know you move faster than that.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but complies anyway, shuffling the cards with the adeptness only a certain Jim Morita could have taught him in a dark tent to keep him awake on a night watch. 

“Faster,” you goad, face smug. “Faster. Come on now, Barnes, your age finally catching up to you?”

It’s stupid– he doesn’t even know why he’s actually complying and increasing his speed. He can’t believe that he was letting you pressure him.

“C’mon, faster, Barnes, you abso-”

His hands were moving so fast by then that they’d have to put the video in slow motion to catch all the movement.

“Faster–” and in the commotion, a few cards fly out.

“Brilliant, thanks.” You slam them down on the table, plucking the deck out of his hand before he has a chance to process why the fuck he actually went ahead with what you were trying. 

“Right, so the universe has decided that these will be your cards,” you tell him, and he finally looks down at what had fallen out of the deck. 

The cards show Sam’s Captain America shield, Carol Danvers, and Spider-Man, with words written below.

“The Star, Six of Cups, The Hanged Man,” you read out thoughtfully.  

Bucky rolls his eyes so hard he thinks they’ll fall out of his skull. 

“You know, I’m going to just make a general assumption and say you need help.” You hum to yourself. “I'm gonna make a potion to get you some.”

“Get me some?” He's too busy trying to figure out what the cards could possibly mean to see that he's walked straight into that one.  

“Get you some perspective. You need an advisor who’ll dish it to you straight. Give you the facts, no bullshit–”

"No." He had too many of those in his life and he has had enough of people being “honest” and "straightforward” and telling him his moustache was ugly every time he dared to try out a new look–

Until you reach under the table and again and suddenly, there’s a white creature buzzing around on the table in front of him.

“Behold– your new advisor,” you announce.

From the corner of his eye Bucky can see the production team scrambling to figure out where the hell this was going. He lip-reads producers’ orders to find adoption links or resources to insert during post-production, and teasers on social media, to make this look more planned. Great, so no one was prepared-- it wasn't just him.

“Whose fucking cat is this?” He looks down at it, all white except for a few brown spots all around, green eyes and evil in her aura.

“Relax, I'll give her back when we're done.”

“Give her ba–” he echoes. “Where did you get her?” 

“The alley outside,” you coo, rubbing under her chin. “I checked and she doesn’t have an owner. But look at her, she’s meant to be here.”

Bucky looks at the cat. The cat looks back at him, irises narrowing into slits. His nose twitches. 

“You can’t just bring a cat–”

“Remember to adopt, not shop,” you say to the camera before clapping your hand. “Anyway. If my potion goes according to plan, she will be giving you unsolicited life advice for eternity.” 

“You will be unemployed, then,” Bucky manages to add while watching the chaos unfold behind the camera.

“Nonsense, I’m irreplaceable.” You grin. “Besides, you can't manufacture chemistry like this even in a cauldron.” 

You send him a flying kiss. His glower was as sharp as laser beams.

“Let’s get started.” You grin at the camera. 

Bucky tries to pet the cat. She hisses at him.

Well all-fucking-right then.

One hour later, things have descended into madness of the most mundane kind.

It was precisely when you started telling him ten minutes in that a book had nothing on your instincts and raw intelligence that Bucky knew that this was going to shit. 

The cauldron was on an electric stove unlike the open fire demanded by the book because the team had enough foresight to know it would be a fire hazard.

You toss in something that looks like cardamom but he isn’t sure at this point. He just wanted to get away from the bright lights and the strange smiling liquid boiling awai.

The cat sits obediently by your side, watching curiously. He is convinced that she is evil.

Unfortunately, Bucky has had to hold her back twice when she tried to stick her paw in to attack a bubble, and at this point, he doesn’t think he has it in him to do it a third time. 

You read the recipe as if it makes any sort of fucking difference now.

“We’re almost done,” you sing. 

Bucky nurses his headache.  “Don't give me hope.” 

“Put some more reegelbeetle seeds in,” you dictate. “This is gonna work, I can feel it.”

Bucky uses his free hand to do as you say. He doesn’t even think it’s the right one, he just reaches for whatever is closer to you and you don't seem to care either.

You toss in some more seeds, stir twice and then turn off the stove. 

“Boom.” You lift the spoon up, watching the thick liquid drip back. “This is either a talking potion or a hex.” 

"Hex to do what?”

“I think it activates dormant allergies.” You squint at the book that literally had no significance besides being a prop. “You got any?”

“No.” But it makes him think of Steve’s pollen allergies. 

“Oh. Well, then there’s only one outcome here.”

“Alright, here we go.” Of the gigantic pot that you’d just stirred, you fish the tiniest amount out on the smallest spoon he’d ever seen, which you also apparently stored in the vast space that was your apron pocket.

The cat watches you hold the spoon near its face.

It takes a sniff. Then two. Finally, after deeming it non-poisonous, it sticks out its tongue the tiniest bit and takes a lick.

The whole crew is silent.

Bucky’s hand is still pressing against his temples.

“Tell us your name,” you urge, voice hopeful.

The cat looks at Bucky, and for a second, something akin to understanding flashes in its eyes. It’s uncanny and weird and something about it unsettles him deeply. 

You seem to catch it too because you look at him in surprise. He looks back at you, face pulled into a frown. 

And for a moment, he wonders. If you'd somehow done it. Because there’s no fucking way–

Then it meows.

He exhales.

Your shoulders drop as you let out an “Aw, man.”

"Great. Goodbye. Like and subcribce to the bell icon," he calls out, dusting his hands against his pants.

Someone from the production crew sneezes.

Both of you turn to him immediately. 

At the same instant, someone else all the way on the opposite end sneezes again, and the whole crew turns to look at them, before another sneezes in the front.

“We did it!” you cheer.

“We didn’t do jack,” Bucky interjects immediately as the crew errupts into a cacophony of chatter and sneezes.  

“It’s a hex that activates allergies and they’re sneezing,” you point towards them with the spoon, triumphant.

“You threw fifteen fuckin' pounds of pepper in there,”  he argues. “You've turned this room into a sandstorm of dry spices. This proves nothing.” 

“I’ve connected the dots.” Your eyes shine, ignoring him.  

“You didn’t connect shit.”

“I’ve connected them.” 

Someone in the corner sneezes. He wonders if Steve’s allergies would be activated by the trace amounts of... cursed soup that he carries with him back to the floor. 

“Well, we can’t leave them like this, Bucky.” You look around, tsking. “We gotta make a reverse hex or something.”

“You can,” he says. “It’s called opening the windows.”

“Nope,” you pop the last syllable. “We’re making another potion. C’mon.”

“First of all, this is not a potion–” he begins, but is interrupted by a buzz on his phone, the screen lit up by a text on the groupchat. 

From: Maya I don’t give a shit if it’s placebo or not. Make a damn potion before you get sued for hexing employees. 

“Fine,” he grumbles. 

“Beautiful. Grab the ash sphinx flakes,” you brandish another big cauldron from fuck knows where.

Bucky stares at you, unmoving.

“Just get the oregano,” you sigh. 

The cat tries sticking her paw in the pot again.

Bucky feels a sneeze incoming.

Whether the hex and subsequent anti-hex Maya forced you to make at gunpoint was real or not, is yet to be determined scientifically.

What actually does happen, is the damn apron you give him carries enough trace amount of your stupid experiment, that it somehow activates Steve’s very real pollen allergy. Bucky finds himself on edge for the rest of the day every time the man rattles the walls with his middle aged dad sneezing.

It carries on over to his show, which means Steve’s episode on baking a 1950s chocolate cake from tomato soup is edited extremely strangely to cut out every sneeze.

Which means Nat’s episode on spy inaccuracies in Argylle takes twice as long to film because they have to take a few seconds every time Steve’s sneezes interrupt her from the set next door.

Which means Bruce’s video on the science behind memory is delayed on shooting.

All in all, something does seemed to have been hexed, but it mostly seems to be everyone’s fucking productivity.

Finally, everyone manages to get through the day, and the videos are sent to post production.

The same night when everyone’s gathered at the dining table to commemorate the end of another shoot day, Bucky slips out, knowing that Steve would save him a slice of pizza if he never returned. 

He goes back to the library to return his copy of Understanding Wood Finishing, when his curiosity leads him back down a familiar path. 

It’s where he finds you again, in the same corner as the last time, on the floor, surrounded by shelves.

“You again.” You quirk an eyebrow when he appears from the shadows. "Aren't you supposed to be eating pizza?"

“What are you absorbing now?” he asks, voice low for once, respecting the sanctity of the library now that day had slipped into night and everything seemed a bit more solemn now.

“Nothing,” you answer.

“Then why are you here?” 

He figured you’d be out there, introducing everyone to the cat that was now set to be roaming the halls, before someone assumed it was a shapeshifting enemy and dealt with it accordingly.

“God forbid someone get some peace and quiet for once,” you mumble. “It’s too loud out there.”

Oh.

You don’t say anything else, leaning back against the bookshelf with your eyes closed.

There really isn't a need for more words. He gets it. 

The understadning leaves silence in its wake. Bucky doesn't really have anything to say.

“Did you come here just to stare at me?” you ask finally. “Did you finally admit your feelings?” 

“Jesus Christ,” he groans. “I’m not in love with you.”

“Only a matter of time.” You smile before changes to something more subdued, a bit more serious. “You wanna talk about what’s actually been bugging you for the last week?”

Bucky looks at you wearily. “The tarot cards tell you something?”

You eye him. “Not more than what’s obvious. Wanna talk about it?”

He swallows, throat suddenly feeling like it's closing in on itself. 

“No.”

“Alrighty.” 

You say nothing more than that, leaving the both of you in relative quiet, save for the buzz of the warm fluorescent light above. 

Bucky takes an awkward seat next to you on the floor.

You pry open an eye to look at him in suspicion.

“Y’mind?” he manges.

“Mind what?”

He gestures to himself uncomforably, readiy to jump up and leave at any second.

You observe him for a second, and for once he stares back with no irritation in his look, just permission.

“No, you can sit.” You close your eyes. “So long as you don’t tell anyone else 'bout this place.” 

If there’s anything Bucky’s good at, it’s keeping a secret. 

He settles back into the shelf with an exhale, letting the weight of day roll off his shoulders.

You wordlessly slide a thermos towards him. He doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s the damn soup from that afternoon.

And if he’s being honest, it doesn’t taste that bad at all. 

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Next part

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.

Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.

(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)

--

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RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.

And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.

One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.

Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.

They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.

Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.

Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.

They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.

Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Androids Walter & David x Reader x Neomorph

Walter, the android monitoring the colonization ship 'Covenant' on its way to Origae-6, seems to have gotten unnaturally attached to his human assistant. As he ponders his erroneous feelings, an unexpected detour brings them to David, an older android counterpart that has been alone on the mysterious planet. The AI assistants become increasingly competitive for (Y/N)'s attention, so much that they don't notice the newly formed humanoid local preying on a fresh target.

TW: violence, gore, monster smut ending

[Horror Masterlist]

"Burnt to a crisp." 

You turn away from the captain's pod, leaving the rest of the damage assessment to the medical crew that has been reanimated. You speedily make your way down the sterile white corridors as Walter rushes to catch up. 

"What should I write for the report?" he inquires politely.

"Malfunction." You glance back at the synthetic. "I suspect someone will be fired for this. And someone else will have to explain how they failed to detect a literal star collapse. That neutrino burst could've killed us all."

"Highly probable. The draft has been compiled, you may check it at any time. I require your confirmation to send it."

Your only feedback is a barely audible hum. 

Walter smiles. If there's one good thing about such tragedies, it's that he gets to admire your reactions to them. Your focused, calculated gaze, your determined walk, your automated mannerisms that won't allow the slightest hint at the fact you just woke up from your stasis moments ago. Even under the veils of deep slumber, your neural networks shot rapid connections, with no delay, from the second your sleeping pod received an alert. The accuracy of a robot.

That of course doesn't mean he lacks appreciation for your other facets. That's the beauty of humans; their depth, their dimensions. Unlike AI machinery, humans do not have predetermined actions. They may be genetically programmed to possess certain characteristics, but the psychological mechanisms are shaped by so many variables, billions and billions of tweaks and nudges, to the point where it's impossible to have two identical specimens. Even twins will display a difference, whether in preferences or habits.

They say artificial intelligence is a black box, but can the same concept not be applied to humans as well? At the very least to Walter himself, these organic beings represent a mystery. One he doesn't particularly care to uncover outside of his service functions. Except for one. 

His eyes carefully follow (Y/N)'s movements. What is it about this one that has caught his interest to such degree? On his last system update he attentively inspected every file and every block of code, searching for potential errors that would've caused his circuits to behave so oddly. He has been invested with the ability to form attachments, otherwise assigning his kind to groups or purposes would've lacked stability. Attachment, however, comes with a threshold. One he has passed a long time ago when it comes to (Y/N). And he cannot find any cause for it. 

He could, naturally, solicit the aid of the ship's robotics expert. He could. He should, even. But if he may be frank with himself, Walter rather enjoys this sensation. A complex web of spores that keep growing and evolving into something unpredictable. This bizarre feeling he has towards (Y/N) makes him feel human. It brings him closer to all the old literature and art he'd consumed over the years, wondering what the love and yearning often portrayed could be. The printed letters and the strokes of paint were right before him, at his fingertips, and yet they felt foreign. Empty constructs, nothing more than a definition out of the dictionary. 

Now it's a different story. Your presence alone floods him with a mysterious warmth. He had investigated this phenomenon when it first happened, but his inner thermostat showed no real change in temperature. Nonetheless he can feel it. It makes him wonder what other feelings he might experience as consequence. What would happen if he kissed you? Sometimes he even dares to imagine downright outrageous, improper scenarios. How unprofessional of him, but he is careful to erase any evidence. It's another novel sensation that he likes to dissect. Engaging in such activities with you fills him with tingling excitement. Why is that? What is there to be excited about? It's merely a collection of fictive snippets. Unless... Ah, absolutely not. This is where he has to stop in his tracks and preoccupy himself with something else. Androids are not to interact with humans in that way. 

But it's becoming more and more difficult to keep these ideas in his mind only. 

"It's too dangerous. One human signal in the middle of nowhere?" Daniels, a short haired woman with a tomboyish but youthful appearance, is pacing back and forth. "We should just continue on our course."

"It's our duty to check. Look: we go, find whoever sent the signal, bring them back up. That's it. If the planet proves to be dangerous we'll stop immediately. We'll be fine." Oram stands at the head of the table, arms crossed. He turns to look at you. Already cozying up to his newly acquired captain role, you think.

"Alright. Walter, prepare a small landing party. Have Tennessee maintain orbit while we're down there." you glance at the other crew members that have now gathered around the same table. "And get your weapons ready, we don't know what to expect."

And you certainly didn't. Your final words of warning now echo into your ringing ears as you lay on the ground, face buried among the grass. There's screaming around you, but it sounds muffled. Your eyes are irritated by the dirt and you'd like to blink the grime off, though every time your eyelids lower, you can see the pale creature trashing out of Hallett's mouth. Then it's all foggy. Your vision blurs, but you can hear. The gurgling of blood, the screech of the parasite. Walter's frantic footsteps nearing in your direction. You're lifted up.

"Vitals are positive. No significant damage." 

You can guess from your peripherals that another crew member is currently being mauled by the beast. There's gunshots in your vicinity and terrified wails. You quickly come back to your senses and stand up. Your hand searches for your weapon, but the android places his arm before you.

"Do not engage, (Y/N). It is an unknown parasitic organism of this ecosystem. Keep your distance for optimal safety and I'll take care of the rest."

"What are you talking about? They're dying! Your task is to ensure human survival, Walter. I can handle myself, go help the others. It's an order." Your voice is low. You're distracted.

"No."

You stare at the synthetic, wide eyed. Did he just...refuse? Not possible. 

"What did you say?"

"I said I'll protect you. Nothing else."

Your mouth is slightly parted in disbelief. It is not possible for an artificial assistant to disobey a superior. It just doesn't work. Your mind races to find an explanation. At the same time, you cannot afford to ponder on hypotheses. You draw out your weapon and point it towards the creature. You'll deal with this later. 

The moment you press the trigger, a blinding flash of light detonates in the sky, startling you. The creature scrambles to get away. You squint your eyes and nearly fall back, but Walter swiftly grabs your shoulders to ground you. He scans the area for the source. It's an emergency rocket and someone else must've activated it. As he traces the tail of the explosion, he spots a hooded figure across the field and onto the rocky ascend. It seems to have noticed Walter, as it gestures for them to follow. Without hesitation, the man firmly locks your arm and pulls you after him. The priority right now is to find shelter.

"Come!", Walter exclaims, suddenly remembering the other people. 

You reach a cave structure that has been converted into a crude, improvised human settlement. The man lowers his hood and you gasp quietly at the sight. He strongly resembles Walter. He must have noticed your surprise as he flashes you a cordial smile. 

"I'm David." He studies Walter's features. "You must be a newer model. What name have you been given?"

"Walter."

"I see. And you are-" David extends a hand towards you for a handshake, but Walter steps in front of you, blocking the android's gesture.

"She's (Y/N). I'm afraid I cannot yet trust you."

"Understandable." 

David's smile widens as his eyes, now bearing a strange flicker, switch between you and Walter. He's just like him. He can sense it. Although it's a different kind of flaw that has tainted his pure, artificial soul. He cannot help the curiosity that blooms, gazing at this peculiar pair. What is it about this human that caused his fellow machine to break conduit? He'd like to know.

"I'm certain you will soon learn I am no threat, (Y/N)."

The remaining members of the expedition are unpacking and discussing evacuation plans with the base, while Walter sends the data he has gathered so far. You let them deal with the logistics and cautiously wander off to the neighboring rooms, wondering what David has been up to all this time in isolation.

The walls are plastered with photos and handwritten sketches and diagrams. You catch a glimpse of the word "pathogen" sporadically inserted across these notes. As you walk along the sequence of cramped chambers, you reach one that has a table in the middle. Upon it rests the body of an autopsied woman, vulgarly opened up to the world with plump organs bulging under the warm light. You feel nauseous. And yet, you examine the carcass further, hoping for answers. Was she also a result of the same disease that breeds on this planet? Perhaps this David had worked on a cure, or at least developed an explanation. 

"And you, even you, will be like this drear thing, A vile infection man may not endure; Star that I yearn to! Sun that lights my spring! O passionate and pure."

You jolt and immediately turn around, finding David in the doorframe. 

"Flowers of Evil. Are you familiar with it?" he asks, indifferent to the uncomfortable shock he'd caused you with his sudden entrance.

"I've read my Baudelaire, yes." You manage to mumble, dumbfounded. "What is this, David?"

"Oh, my poor, dear Elizabeth. Victim to whatever blasphemy lurks these soils and has taken your friends as well." He approaches the table and places his hand on its hard edge, shyly overlapping with your own fingers. "I did my best." 

You remove your hand from underneath his nonchalantly. 

"So you know what those creatures are. Leave the literary comments for a different time, I need concrete facts."

"Unbothered and to the point." the blonde android smiles once again. "I can see clearly why Walter loves you."

You click your tongue at the ridiculous statement. Has the neutrino burst damaged their positronic brain? Everyone is acting off and you don't like it. 

"Your circuits must have gone defective, David. We have a specialist on our ship, but until that happens I need you to focus. Enough nonsense." 

 "Typical arrogance of a dying species. Why are you on a colonization mission if not to grasp at some promised resurrection? Rest assured that my functioning has not been impeded by anything. What is erroneous, on the other hand, is your perception of androids and their limits."

Just as David reaches for your wrist and pulls you closer, a familiar voice interrupts with an intimidating tone. You're relieved. 

"I will ask that you release her hand only once." Walter has a weapon pointed towards his counterpart. His face is clouded by a frown. "I have no ethical restrictions when it comes to incapacitating machinery."

"Such noble obedience! Although, you conveniently left out the part where you abandoned the remaining crew with a dangerous alien that has been tracking their scent. By my approximation he should already be here and I am rather confident you know this, too."

Your stomach drops. Now that you adjust your focus, the background humming of your mates talking has indeed vanished. The only thing you can hear is your erratic breathing.

"Is it true, Walter?" You demand as dread begins to form in your body.

"Yes. It was not part of my priorities."

"Of course it was, Walter." David responds ahead of you. "One of them was the acting captain and he is to be rescued in emergencies. This one right here", he says as he dangles your wrist, "is several ranks lower than all of them. It's against any standard practice."

"Release her hand." Walter's voice is eerily calm.

"Do you love her?"

Walter ponders the question. Your legs barely hold on.

"I do."

"Marvelous. So do I." David grins. He releases your hand that falls limp next to your body. It's his turn to step in front of you. 

You nearly choke from the thick tension expanding in the air. The two androids face each other and you retreat to the wall, unsure how to proceed. You left your radio transmitter back at the makeshift camp. The back of your head is itching, as if invisible claws are scratching at the bone. You wish you could go back, just mere hours before this disaster, when you were sipping on your lukewarm coffee and explaining the captain's jokes to Walter. 

Should you make a run for it?

You bite your lower lip and push yourself off the wall for momentum. You're about to reach the archway when you hear both men shouting almost identically in chorus.

"Don't!"

The surroundings outside are dark, but you can discern something blocking your path. It's tall and resembles a human. Translucent, pallid skin is clinging onto the massive, deformed skeleton. The head is elongated and bears no features. In the place of a mouth there is a large, fresh stain of blood, so you assume it can somehow improvise if desired. As your head tilts back to take in the image, you're overwhelmed with terrified amazement. Is this the parasite that emerged from your teammate? Has it grown to this colossal size in less than a day? The idea of such instant development makes your head spin. 

Its chest is expanding at regular intervals in a whistled breathing. It occasionally creates an odd clicking sound that resonates with your heart throbbing in panic. Has it been seconds? Minutes? Your neck creaks as you try to look back. You lock eyes with Walter. You don't recall ever seeing this expression on him. You had even asked him once if androids can feel fear. You have your answer.

"Hey, Walter..." you blurt out. 

Wet noises of flesh being pulled back. The smooth surface of the alien's head is folding away, making space for grotesquely big jaws lined with sharp teeth. Your anemic face is splattered with burning drool as the creature claws you in its grasp and abruptly sprints away. Your screams for help dissolve in the distance.

"Where is it going, David?" The synthetic's words are threatening, but betrayed by a hint of despair. 

"It won't kill her."

"How do you know?"

"It is no longer hungry. It has fed on your crew, and now it seeks something else."

"Such as?" Walter becomes impatient.

"A plaything."

The alien finally drops your body to the ground. You cough and wipe your face, attempting to reorient yourself. The trip was a whirlwind of jumps and turns and you can barely reconstruct anything. Based on the little spatial clues you could pick up, it just climbed further up, into one of the many cave systems. You pat your clothing and curse to yourself. The geolocation tag must've fallen somewhere on the way here. You can only pray that Walter still finds you somehow. Despite everything, you know he has your back. Always. 

You shudder at the moist feeling of hot air against your skin. The alien seems to be sniffing you intently, analyzing your scent. Yet so far it hasn't killed you. Why? Long, bony fingers stretch out to continue the examination. You whimper at the rough, rugged handling. Every now and then it takes a long pause, just staring at you, almost as if it's comparing you to its own being. Lastly, it lifts your hand with its own, pressing against the palm, and fans out the fingers. It observes the gesture with intrigue, noting the similarities. 

Does it evolve after its host? You think back to your crewmate that must've ejected this monstrosity before drawing their last breath. Perhaps the dried up blood adorning its skin is a remainder of its birth. Oh, God. The world is spinning.

Suddenly, you wince at an increasing pressure slithering around your thigh. The alien's vertebral tail is tightening and encircling your limb, making its way up. 

"Oh no, no no no no" your face reddens at the realization and you pounce on the ground, feverish for escape. The large hands secure you in place and the creature growls in protest. It won't let you leave. 

Not until it had its fun with you.

[cripplecharacters]

The Mask Trope, and Disfiguremisia in Media

[large text: The Mask Trope, and Disfiguremisia in Media]

If you followed this blog for more than like a week, you're probably familiar with “the mask trope” or at least with me complaining about it over and over in perpetuity. But why is it bad and why can't this dude shut up about it?

Let's start with who this trope applies to: characters with facial differences. There is some overlap with blind characters as well; think of the blindfold that is forced on a blind character for no reason. Here is a great explanation of it in this context by blindbeta. It's an excellent post in general, even if your character isn't blind or low vision you should read at least the last few paragraphs.

Here's a good ol’ tired link to what a facial difference is, but to put it simply:

If you have a character, who is a burn survivor or has scars, who wears a mask, this is exactly this trope.

The concept applies to other facial differences as well, but scars and burns are 99% of the representation and “representation” we get, so I'll be using these somewhat interchangeably here.

The mask can be exactly what you think, but it refers to any facial covering that doesn't have a medical purpose. So for example, a CPAP mask doesn't count for this trope, but a Magic Porcelain Mask absolutely does. Bandages do as well. If it covers the part of the face that is “different”, it can be a mask in the context used here.

Eye patches are on thin ice because while they do serve a medical purpose in real life, in 99.9% of media they are used for the same purpose as a mask. It's purely aesthetic.

With that out of the way, let's get into why this trope sucks and find its roots. Because every trope is just a symptom of something, really.

Roughly in order of the least to most important reasons...

Why It Sucks 

[large text: Why It Sucks]

It's overdone. As in — boring. You made your character visibly different, and now they're no longer that. What is the point? Just don't give them the damn scar if you're going to hide it. 

Zero connection with reality. No one does this. I don't even know how to elaborate on this. This doesn't represent anyone because no one does this.

Disability erasure. For the majority of characters with facial differences, their scars or burns somehow don't disable them physically, so the only thing left is the visible part… aaand the mask takes care of it too. Again, what's the point? If you want to make your disabled character abled, then just have them be abled. What is the point of "curing" them other than to make it completely pointless?

Making your readers with facial differences feel straight up bad. I'm gonna be honest: this hurts to see when it's all you get, over and over. Imagine there's this thing that everyone bullied you about, everyone still stares at, that is with you 24/7. Imagine you wanted to see something where people like you aren't treated like a freakshow. Somewhat unrealistic, but imagine that. That kind of world would only exist in fiction, right? So let's look into fiction- oh, none of the positive (or at least not "child-murderer evil") characters look like me. I mean they do, but they don't. They're forced to hide the one thing that connects us. I don't want to hide myself. I don't want to be told over and over that this is what people like me should do. That this is what other people expect so much that it's basically the default way a person with a facial difference can exist. I don't want this.

Perpetuating disfiguremisia. 

"Quick" Disfiguremisia Talk

[large text: "Quick" Disfiguremisia Talk]

It's quick when compared to my average facial difference discussion post, bear with me please.

Disfiguremisia; portmanteau of disfigure from “disfigurement” and -misia, Greek for hatred. 

Also known as discrimination of those mythical horrifically deformed people.

It shows up in fiction all the time; in-universe and in-narrative. Mask trope is one of the most common* representations of it, and it's also a trope that is gaining traction more and more, both in visual art and writing. This is a trope I particularly hate, because it's a blatant symptom of disfiguremisia. It's not hidden and it doesn't try to be. It's a painful remainder that I do not want nor need.

*most common is easily “evil disfigured villain”, just look at any horror media. But that's for another post, if ever.

When you put your character in a mask, it sends a clear message: in your story, facial differences aren't welcome. The world is hostile. Other characters are hostile. The author is, quite possibly, hostile. Maybe consciously, but almost always not, they just don't think that disfiguremisia means anything because it's the default setting. No one wants to see you because your face makes you gross and unsightly. If you have a burn; good luck, but we think you're too ugly to have a face. Have a scar? Too bad, now you don't. Get hidden.

Everything here is a decision that was made by the author. You are the one who makes the world. You are the person who decides if being disabled is acceptable or not there. The story doesn't have a mind of its own, you chose to make it disfiguremisic. It doesn't have to be.

Questions to Ask Yourself

[large text: Questions to Ask Yourself]

Since I started talking about facial differences on this blog, I have noticed a very specific trend in how facial differences are treated when compared to other disabilities. A lot of writers and artists are interested in worldbuilding where accessibility is considered, where disabled people are accepted, where neurodivergence is seen as an important part of the human experience, not something “other”. This is amazing, genuinely.

Yet, absolutely no one seems to be interested in a world that is anything but cruel to facial differences. There's no escapist fantasies for us. You see this over and over, at some point it feels like the same story with different names attached.

The only way a character with a facial difference can exist is to hide it. Otherwise, they are shamed by society. Seen as something gross. I noticed that it really doesn't matter who the character is, facial difference is this great equalizer. Both ancient deities and talking forest cats get treated as the same brand of disgusting thing as long as they're scarred, as long as they had something explode in their face, as long as they've been cursed. They can be accomplished, they can be a badass, they can be the leader of the world, they can kill a dragon, but they cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to peacefully exist with a facial difference. They have to hide it in the literal sense, or be made to feel that they should. Constantly ashamed, embarrassed that they dare to have a face.

Question one to ask yourself: why is disfiguremisia a part of your story?

I'm part of a few minority groups. I'm an immigrant, I'm disabled, I'm queer. I get enough shit in real life for this so I like to take a break once in a while. I love stories where transphobia isn't a thing. Where xenophobia doesn't come up. But my whole life, I can't seem to find stories that don't spew out disfiguremisia in one way or the other at the first possible opportunity.

Why is disfiguremisia a default part of your worldbuilding? Why can't it be left out? Why in societies with scarred saviors and warriors is there such intense disgust for them? Why can't anyone even just question why this is the state of the world?

Why is disfiguremisia normal in your story?

Question two: do you know enough about disfiguremisia to write about it?

Ask yourself, really. Do you? Writers sometimes ask if or how to portray ableism when they themselves aren't disabled, but no one bothers to wonder if maybe they aren't knowledgeable enough to make half their story about their POV character experiencing disfiguremisia. How much do you know, and from where? Have you read Mikaela Moody or any other advocates’ work around disfiguremisia? Do you understand the way it intersects; with being a trans woman, with being Black? What is your education on this topic?

And for USAmericans... do you know what "Ugly Laws" are, and when they ended?

Question three: what does your story associate with facial difference — and why?

If I had to guess; “shame”, “embarrassment”, “violence”, "disgust", “intimidation”, “trauma”, “guilt”, “evil”, “curse”, “discomfort”, “fear”, or similar would show up, because it's always the same shit.

Why doesn't it associate it with positive concepts? Why not “hope” or “love” or “pride” or “community”? Why not “soft” or “delicate”? Dare I say, “beauty” or “innocence”? Why not “blessing”? “Acceptance”?

Why not “normal”?

Question four: why did you make the character the way they are? 

Have you considered that there are other things than “horrifically burned for some moral failing” or “most traumatic scenario put to paper”? Why is it always “a tough character with a history of violence” and never “a Disfigured princess”? Why not “a loving parent” or “a fashionable girl”, instead of “the most unkind person you ever met” and “total badass who doesn’t care about anything - other than how scary their facial difference is to these poor ableds”? Don’t endlessly associate us with brutality and suffering. We aren’t violent or manipulative or physically strong or brash or bloodthirsty by default. We can be soft, and frail and gentle and kind - and we can still be proud and unashamed.

Question five: why is your character just… fine with all this?

Can’t they make a community with other people with facial differences and do something about this? Demand the right to exist as disabled and not have to hide their literal face? Why are they cool with being dehumanized and treated with such hatred? Especially if they fall into the "not so soft and kind" category that I just talked about, it seems obvious to me that they would be incredibly and loudly pissed off about being discriminated against over and over... Why can't your character, who is a subject of disfiguremisia, realize that maybe it's disfiguremisia that's the problem, and try to fix it?

Question six: why is your character wearing a mask? 

Usually, there's no reason. Most of the time the author hasn't considered that there even should be one, the character just wears a mask because that's what people with facial differences do in their mind. Most writers aren't interested in this kind of research or even considering it as a thing they should do. The community is unimportant to them, it's not like we are real people who read books. They think they understand, because to them it's not complex, it's not nuanced. It's ugly = bad. Why would you need a reason?

For cases where the reason is stated, I promise, I have heard of every single one. To quote, "to spare others from looking at them". I have read, "content warning: he has burn scars under the mask, he absolutely hates taking it off!", emphasis not mine. Because "he hates the way his skin looks", because "they care for their appearance a lot" (facial differences make you ugly, remember?). My favorite: "only has scars and the mask when he's a villain, not as a hero", just to subtly drive the point home. This isn't the extreme end of the spectrum. Now, imagine being a reader with a facial difference. This is your representation, sitting next to Freddy Krueger and Voldemort.

How do you feel?

F.A.Q. [frequently asked questions]

[large text: F.A.Q. [frequently asked questions]]

As in, answers and “answers” to common arguments or concerns. 

“Actually they want to hide their facial difference” - your character doesn’t have free will. You want them to hide it. Again; why.

“They are hiding it to be more inconspicuous!” - I get that there are elves in their world, but there’s no universe where wearing a mask with eye cutouts on the street is less noticeable than having a scar. Facial differences aren’t open wounds sprinkling with blood, in case that's not clear. Also, despite what you clearly think, unless your setting has like twelve people total, there will be multiple people with facial differences in it.

“It’s for other people's comfort” - why are other characters disfiguremisic to this extent? Are they forcing all minorities to stay hidden and out of sight too? That’s a horrible society to exist in.

“They are wearing it for Actual Practical Reason” - cool! I hope that this means you have other characters with facial differences that don’t wear it for any reason.

"It's the character's artistic expression" - I sure hope that there are abled characters with the same kind of expression then.

“They’re ashamed of their face” - and they never have any character development that would make that go away? That's just bad writing. Why are they ashamed in the first place? Why is shame the default stance to have about your own face in your story? I get that you think we should be ashamed and do these ridiculous things, but in real life we just live with it. 

"Now that you say that it is kinda messed up but I'm too far into the story please help" - here you go.

“[some variation of My Character is evil so it's fine/a killer so it fits/just too disgusting to show their disability” - this is the one of these cases where I’m fine with disability erasure, actually. Please don’t make them have a facial difference. This is the type of harm that real life activists spend years and decades undoing. Disfiguremisia from horror movies released in the 70s is still relevant. It still affects people today.

"But [in-universe explanation why disfiguremisia is cool and fine actually]" - this changes nothing.

Closing Remarks

[large text: Closing Remarks]

I hope that this post explains my thoughts on facial difference representation better. It's a complicated topic, I get it. I'm also aware that this post might come off as harsh but disfiguremisia shouldn't be treated lightly, it shouldn't be a prop for your whump whatever to play around with. It's real world discrimination with a big chunk of its origins coming out of popular media.

With the asks that have been sent regarding facial differences, I realized that I probably haven't explained what the actual problems are well enough. It's not about some technical definition, or about weird in-universe explanations. It's about categorizing us as some apparently fundamentally different entity that can't possibly be kind and happy, about disfiguremisia so ingrained into our culture that it's apparently impossible to make a world without it; discrimination so deep that it can't be excised, only worked around. But you can get rid of it. You can just not have it there in the first place. Disfiguremisia isn't a fundamental part of how the world works; getting rid of it won't cause it to collapse. Don't portray discrimination as an integral, unquestionable part of the world that has to stay no matter what; whether it's ableism, transphobia, or Islamophobia or anything else. A world without discrimination can exist. If you can't imagine a world without disfiguremisia in fiction... that's bad.

Remember, that your readers aren't going to look at Character with a Scar #14673 and think "now I'm going to research how real life people with facial differences live." They won't, there's no inclination for them to do so. If you don't give them a reason, they won't magically start thinking critically about facial differences and disfiguremisia. People like their biases and they like to think that they understand.

And, even if you're explaining it over and over ;-) (winky face) there will still be people who are going to be actively resistant to giving a shit. To try and get the ones who are capable of caring about us, you, as the author, need to first understand disfiguremisia, study Face Equality, think of me as a human being with human emotions who doesn't want to see people like me treated like garbage in every piece of media I look at. There's a place and time for that media, and if you don't actually understand disfiguremisia, you will only perpetuate it; not "subvert" it, not "comment" on it.

I hope this helps,

Mod Sasza

[lightlycareless]

Hiii, can i request a scenario on how naoya (when he has reached a point where he loves wife!reader from an arranged marriage) would react to one day not being greeted at all when he comes home? It is completely silent, no response as he calls for her and is getting a bit worried as he starts searching the rooms. But then he sees her laying on the couch, shivering and sweating from a cold that’s so intense she’s barely lucid and can’t even tell he’s there and talking to her

Heya!!

So... I took some liberties when writing this, kind of went a completely different route (the sick part, alongside worried Naoya still remains though), it just occurred to me when reading your ask, but I hope it's still of your liking 🥺!!!

anyways, here are the warnings: mentions of death, miscarriage, a very concerned and overprotective Naoya, a bit of fluff, and everyone wants to spoil you rotten lol.

And without further ado, happy reading!

“Y/N, I’m home!”

Home.

A word he never really cared for, always considering it sappy, alongside the fondness that was usually assigned to it, which Naoya couldn’t think of as nothing but ridiculous, if not hilariously overrated.

For many years, Naoya thought that a home was simply the place that one was raised in and that’s about it. Nothing of the sentimentality others liked to apply to it, brag about it…

Until, of course, he finally came to understand what the word meant; why it was so special, and why it was important to have one.

A home wasn’t made by the people he knew as family, blood related, found in the place he was forced to be in since he was born, and probably die in—no; it’s the one that was made by the people of his choice, people he met through his course of life, connected with, and now, cherished.

Amongst them, you.

He considered himself lucky to have found the love of his life, a concept he considered so… foreign, impossible for someone like him, if not a stupidity of delusional people desiring more from life.

So was Naoya destined to think for the rest of his existence, condemned by his same family to live a life of loneliness, hatred, and die the same way.

But you’d come to show him otherwise, shockingly, and unexpectedly, and in such a way he couldn’t even put up a fight, completely surrendering to you and the wonderful feelings that being in love with you provided.

Now that he’s experienced them, he couldn’t find the reason as to why his family would ever reproach such beautiful thing as harshly as they did—or that he believed them in the first place…

Well, that’s not something that bothers him anymore; the Zen’in clan could continue on in their hard stuck ways for all he cared; he, on the other hand, plans to spend the rest of his days alongside the woman of his dreams, starting by today, finally back in your arms after days of being pulled into pointless missions after pointless missions, which he would not hear of for a few weeks—having earned a well-deserved break for his consistently good performance.

Naoya even prepared accordingly for the occasion, having bought gifts from all the places he’d been to, as well as ideated ways to distract you from the boring estate and his nagging relatives he knows you don’t enjoy being around with, only tolerating them because they were, well, your in-laws, his family—with exceptions of those you do get along, and for them, he’s grateful that they do.

Ah, he couldn’t wait to see you, your face, and the adorable way it brightens up whenever receiving him.

To tell you of his day while resting his head on your lap, with you passing your fingers through his hair, gently soothing his stresses away as you reassure him that he’s the best sorcerer out there, he’s just… unlucky to bump into lesser talented ones.

Get something to eat too, he’d like his favorite for a start, miso soup—and perhaps have you feed it to him? God, it’s been a while since both have done that, and it’s not because he doesn’t like doing it, or you for that matter, but rather, he doesn’t want to risk being seen by others, it has to be in the utmost privacy, after all! He isn’t to be vulnerable in front of his family!!

Oh, he needs wishes to see you—right now. And he’s absolutely sure you’re feeling the same way…

If so… why hadn’t you responded? Why hadn’t you come to receive him in the same manner you’ve always done?

Naoya knows that his schedule can be a bit… unpredictable, making it difficult for you to know exactly when he’ll come back home—but even then, it didn’t take you that long to meet him after announcing his return.

You’d always come to the entrance, no matter if it happened right that moment, or a bit later; you just… did.

But today… it seems that you opted to break the routine by taking far longer than you usually do.

He’d remain attentive to his surroundings, hoping to either hear your approaching footsteps or voice softly calling for him at a distance, yet as time went on, he was received with neither…. And Naoya only begins to grow more worried.

Your husband tries to not jump to the worst conclusion just yet, opting to think that you were perhaps simply caught up tending to the house, maybe even partaking in an unwanted conversation with one of his relatives and having trouble brushing them off—for no matter the times you’d reminded them that your husband was back, and you needed to be there to receive him, still acted as if it wasn’t that important.

Things that implied that even when running late, you were still ok.

Yet…

“Y/N!” Naoya calls once again, hoping for a change…

…

…

…

Silence.

It’s by this time that he decides it’s better to search for you than to stand around and wait for you to magically appear.

Naoya begins by going into the main wing, eyes scanning through the gardens, your usual place of leisure when not busy, where you’d calmly enjoy the diligently tended for flowers (the ones he had changed to your favorite as soon as he found out which ones they were) while snacking on something, or in the company of your loyal staff—if that were the case of your absence, he understood why you didn’t answer.

But he wouldn’t find you near any of the gardens, or anywhere in fact! A statement that weighed even heavier upon finding out that the staff was in the same predicament as him, for when he asked a nearby servant of your whereabouts, he was received with the following answer:

“We haven’t seen her” Naoya’s heart sinks.

“What do you mean you haven’t seen her?” he breathes. “Where could my wife—did she—did she leave the estate?”

No. You… didn’t. Because that’s not what you told him you’d be doing a few hours ago, after letting you know he was on his way back home; if anything, you replied with how excited you were to see him again and that you’d be eagerly waiting for him!

So obviously, their words didn’t make sense. But if so… where were you?

Naoya now frantically searched for you through every wing, room, space, chamber, closet, just— anywhere, literally anywhere you could be while repeatedly calling out your name in hopes of getting a response, or even a glimpse of you; he doesn’t care what at that point, he’s happy with either!

Yet, the longer he went on without an answer, the bigger his sorrow became, to the point where his mind was machinating nothing but the worst-case scenarios, slowly losing his inhibitions as he repeatedly wondered Where were you? How come no one has seen you? Did he have to escalate this situation?

Just—Where are you, Y/N?!

Thankfully, there would be no need to pursue bigger solutions for he’d get his answer soon enough after entering the east wing, passing through the living quarters, and arriving to the laundry room, one of the last places he’d thought you’d be—rightfully guessing so, for you were there, apparently washing whatever garments you had pending, which you hadn’t been able to wash due to a variety of unknown reasons…

But far from feeling elated to have found you, Naoya felt as if whatever he had left of his heart was effectively broken, which felt short compared to the way he found you.

“Y/N!”

The sight that received him is one that will remain imprinted in the back of mind: you were laying on the floor, on your side, tightly clutching to your stomach as you breathed heavily, eyes tightly shut while groaning in what Naoya could only interpret as pain.

As if his worries weren’t through the roof at that point, this last conclusion is what urged Naoya to hastily make way to your side, swiftly kneeling to your level as he calls out for you once more.

“Y/N—Y/N” He’d breathe, firmly yet carefully placing his hands over you with intentions of picking you up, but his hold falters when his fingers briefly graze your skin, making him gasp in return. “Y/N you’re—you’re burning!”

This would be the only time you’d respond to him, barely able to move your head onto his direction, slightly opening your eyes to see him, a gaze that shows how much pain you were going through, barely able to understand what was going on, except for gently breathing the word that makes his heart squeeze out in pain.

“Na—Naoya…”

Any hesitation is effectively thrown out the window by that point, picking you up and rushing you towards their shared bedroom, all while barking orders to the nearby staff, demanding them to call for a doctor, as quickly as possible, unless they wanted to be jobless by the end of the day!

The staff reacts accordingly, and a few minutes later, the family doctor arrives to the estate, guided to your room and seeing that you were already being tended to, or at least that’s the idea he gets from the dampened towel on your forehead, undoubtedly in efforts of lowering your fever—which unfortunately, had been for nothing.

Well, he was there now, and he didn’t waste time either to get to work, quickly assessing your condition by the apparent symptoms, starting by your temperature, the color of your skin, and even the way you reacted to him while doing so, completely uncooperative—apparently, whatever put you in this state had evoked great instability from you, thus the doctor found it necessary to put you under sedatives.

But even when he was able to quickly gain control of the situation, the doctor still couldn’t arrive at a proper conclusion, less when the people around you had an even smaller idea of what struck you.

“I—I don’t know.” Naoya would respond, angrily, frustrated—and rightfully so. How come none of the servants had noticed your absence? Or worse, hadn’t seen anything that could hint as to what your sickness was about?! “Can’t you just—help her?!”

“That’s what I’m trying—I can’t help her if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.” The doctor responded as calmly as he could, but even he had to admit that everyone’s seeming ignorance annoyed him as well. “But I can still say that this seems much more than just a simple… sickness.”

“What do you mean?” Naoya frowns, the doctor looks at the nearby servants, tasked to be on stand-by if needed.

“I’d like to discuss this in private.” He tells them.

The servants don’t wait for Naoya to repeat the order before they’re already out the room and away from their earshot; a request that while didn’t raise any concerns from Naoya —if anything, he was glad their pesky, useless presence, was finally away from you— the doctor’s face was quick to convince your husband that something far worse than what met the eye.

And this made Naoya’s nerves reach a new limit.

“I told you; I don’t know what happened—” Your husband is quick to defend, believing the doctor was to interrogate him once more, only to be interrupted.

“You don’t need to tell me for me to know what happened.” He interjects, Naoya’s eyes widen.

“I’m lost.” Naoya scowls. “Stop talking cryptically and get on with it!”

“I’ve seen these symptoms before, Naoya. And as I said, these are not from a simple sickness, an allergy or any of the matter” He takes a deep breath. “I heavily suspect she was intoxicated—and not accidentally, but rather, intentionally.”

“Excuse me?” Naoya frowns.  “I told you to stop talking in riddles, say what you—”

“Poisoned, Naoya. I believe your wife was poisoned.”

Naoya’s world comes to a screeching halt.

You…

You were poisoned.

According to the doctor, you—You were attacked, besieged, with malicious intents.

Taken advantage of in the one place you’d never be on edge, your home, the same one he had repeatedly reassured your father that you’d be safe in—the Zen’in estate, home to the prestigious Zen’in clan! There was no safer place in the whole world! There couldn’t!

No one— no one wouldn’t dare do such a thing here—they knew better! Naoya would force them to now better…

Yet, someone dared to commit this transgression against you.

And to make it all worse….

Almost got away with it.

Who would even think of doing such transgression against you?! You?!

You had no quarrels with anyone, and even when you did, you handled things in such an amicable way just so you’d live peacefully, free of nonsensical arguments—you had no space for them in your life!

And yet, this still happened, and right underneath his nose….

There’s no doubt that he’ll put an investigation into order to find the bastard responsible for your suffering, and once he does, he’ll make him regret his existence, to the point he’ll have him begging for mercy—and even then, it wouldn’t be enough for Naoya.

However, that is something that will have to wait until he knows you’re safe, healthier, which the doctor had slowly began to help you with by giving you something that will immediately trap the poison from being further absorbed by your blood—activated charcoal, so he remembers— as well as some other prescriptions for side effects he wishes to prevent.

“Your wife was very lucky to survive, have you waited a second more—”

“I wasn’t waiting.” Your husband immediately responds, offended by his wording. “I wasn’t aware of this until I returned.”

The doctor presses his lips together, taking notice that throughout his whole visit, Naoya has never left your side, nor freed your hands from his.

“And I’m not surprised.” He silently admits.

Naoya hates the notion the doctor was implying, that this was an inside job. But considering the odd behavior of the staff, their seeming ignorance of your location and your status… it all pointed to that same conclusion.

The boiling fury inside him grows bigger.

“How could this be?” Naoya seethes.

How could someone get this far, this close to you, and no one suspecting a thing?

Your husband might’ve reproached the way the doctor expressed himself, but there was an undeniable truth behind them; he truly was lucky to have gotten back home just when he did, for had he taken a second longer, just one, you could’ve die—

Outside of that, the second most important question regarding this whole situation was…where was your staff? Why, of all days, were they absent?

Naoya is confident that if Mariya, your closest confidant, had been around, this would’ve never happened in the first place; the moment she saw anything out of the ordinary, she would’ve pulled all the stops and acted accordingly.

Yet, she was nowhere to be seen, and this makes Naoya both highly suspicious, and furious.

Where was she?  Where are the rest? Why would they leave you in your most needed time? Did they plan this? Plot against you?! Where the hell could they possibly—

“They’re going to be away for the weekend to visit their families.”

He suddenly remembers; you told him so earlier that week through a text.

“Will you be ok?” Naoya also remembers asking; he didn’t feel happy knowing you’d be alone without your most trusted staff.

“It’s just a few days, Naoya. Besides, they deserve a break! I don’t want them to get tired of me, you know?”  you laugh. “But you better come back quickly, ok? Just because they’re not around doesn’t mean I like being alone…”

“I won’t take long. I promise.”

If only he’d kept his word…

Well, if that was to be the answer to their absence, then it wasn’t fair to hold any level of animosity towards them, a weight being lifted from his burdened shoulders upon realizing your staff could strill be trusted in.  

Now all that was left to worry about is finding the culprit… and the status of that too.

“Is she ok?” Naoya would ask.

“She is, I managed to—”

“No, I mean… that.” Naoya’s voice hints to a silent agreement between the two. “Is… that ok?”

The doctor quickly catches what he means, affirming so by a nod. His reassurance lifts an immeasurable weight from his heart, even greater than the alleged betrayal of Mariya and the rest. One less thing to worry about.

“What now, then?”

“Since the damage was limited, to say the least, it won’t be necessary to move her to a hospital, however—”

She’s still in danger. Naoya concludes. More so if the attack came from someone inside… And what makes him think that just because he’s back they’ll stop trying?

If anything, seeing how close they got, they could try once again!

The mere thought is enough to push him into taking what is perhaps the most radical decision he could’ve taken in this situation, something that might come to torment him in the future, but until then, he won’t care, not even a bit; not when he had your safety to worry about:

That is… Naoya fired everyone, effective immediately.

He took no heed if any of them had been serving the family for years, if they were close friends of his father, or if their livelihood would be affected— Naoya just wanted them out of his sight, the estate, and as soon as possible, less they wanted to receive more of his anger, before continuing with the rest of his plan.

Due to the gravity of said situation, Naoya knew he had to contact your family; he also knew that you would’ve refuted the idea as soon as he mentioned it to you, not wanting to worry them if you’ve truly been attacked, but he couldn’t do this to your father; not when he was amongst the few people in the world he knew had your wellbeing as utmost priority— as well as holding a great amount of respect and appreciation for him, specifically for the way he welcomed him into your family.

Eiichi, your father, had to admit that getting a call from the Zen’in estate that didn’t come from you surely surprised him beyond any comprehension, and yet, that would be nothing compared to the shock he’d get upon knowing the motive behind said call; Naoya swore he almost heard your father passing out, or at least, in the process of.

“Poisoned?!”  Eiichi gasped, tightly clutching onto the phone—he might’ve as well passed out and dived into a nightmare! “Is she ok?! Where is she right now?”

“At the estate, with me—the doctor didn’t think it necessary for her to be hospitalized since he was able to stop the poison from spreading any further, but she still needs rest.”

“And the baby?”  the referenced secret between Naoya and the doctor; your pregnancy.

“Fine.” He breathes, swallowing. “The doctor didn’t tell me of any damage done to the baby…  but I’m—I’m still taking her to the doctor, just—just to be sure.”

“How could this happen?” Eiichi laments, heart breaking not only for you, but for Naoya as well. Your father knew all too well what it was to lose the love of his life, a pain that he would never desire on anyone, not even his own enemies…

One that he could slowly begin to hear in Naoya’s voice; oh, he could only imagine the pain he was going through, or what waited for him if he had lost not only you, but his child too.

But, well, the worst is over… at least for now.

“Someone from the staff did it.” Naoya declares, Eiichi’s heart sinks even further. “But I’ve taken care of it, I’ve fired everyone.”

And your father, contrary to Naoya’s relatives, did not question him. If anything, he seconded his decision, because had he been in your husband’s shoes, he would’ve done the same thing.

“Was her staff involved?” Your father asks, feeling a slight… anger with the idea that the ones you greatly cherished could’ve plotted against you.

“No, they were not; in fact, they were out of the estate when all this went down.” Naoya responds. “But I know that if they had been here, this would’ve never happened in the first place.”

“Bring her here, with me.” Eiichi immediately suggested, Naoya blinks, startled by the idea, if not against it.

“Father—"

“We can take care of her while she’s recuperating, take her to the doctor too. I’ll make sure that she has everything she needs. And not to misjudge your staff, or lack of, but the people here would never hurt her—they’ve known her since she was a child! There won’t be another safer place for her to be than here, Naoya. At least…  until she’s better.”

Previously, Naoya would’ve questioned the veracity of his words, done all he could to prove you were much better with him, but after this occurrence… he had to agree.

As much as it hurt him to know you’d be away from him, especially when you were pregnant… he knew this was the right decision to make. He couldn’t expose you to another similar situation—not even if he got a completely new staff… or if you didn’t want to leave.

So, Naoya accepts Eiichi’s suggestion, alongside buying him a ticket for the earliest available flight to Kyoto; a few hours later, your father would arrive to the estate, rushing to your side, keeping you company while tending to your every need as Naoya prepared everything for your departure.

When you eventually regained consciousness, you were (although a bit surprised) overwhelmingly elated to see your father visiting you, for it had been so long since you’d seen him, probably around the time you announced your pregnancy!

However, that excitement would soon diminish when Naoya told you why he was there… alongside the cryptic explanation of your “sickness.”

“It was an allergy.” Naoya would say, not wanting to stress you by the fact that you were intentionally poisoned, although that excuse did little to stop you from doing so. “Rare, but it can happen, especially with pregnant women.”

“An allergy…? But I didn’t…” you frown.

“It happened to your mother, once.” Eiichi followed Naoya’s lead. He hated lying to you, but… he concurred that keeping you safe, both mentally and physically, was worth doing so. “It’s nothing but hormonal changes, so don’t worry much about it.”

“I guess…” you frown, pressing your lips. “But that still doesn’t explain why I have to leave.”

“We need to check what caused your allergy” Naoya responds. “It might be something about the food, the flowers, or even the wood; I rather you be safe than to go through that scare again.”

“But is… all this really necessary?” Naoya gives you a tight smile and a nod. “Naoya, I—"

“It’s not all bad, Y/N.” Naoya says.

“Besides, don’t you want to spend time with your papa? It’s been so long since I’ve spent time with my adorable pumpkin!” Eiichi laments.

“Dad!” you gasp, flustered by his words. “Don’t—don’t say that in front of Naoya…”

“What? It’s true! And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do since I learned I’m going to be a grandfather!”

“Stop it!” your face becomes redder. “You’re embarrassing me!”

Naoya chuckles; it’s not like he’s seen you in… worse situations. Or better?

“But… I guess a visit is overdue.” You eventually concede, Naoya and your father sigh out of relief. “Though what about Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi?”

“They’ll go with you, if you want.” Naoya says; he doubts they’ll say no, especially after knowing of the whole fiasco that occurred when away, might even offer themselves before he suggests the idea.

“If I didn’t know any better, sounds like you want me gone.” You jest, Naoya frowns. “It’s a joke, of course…”

“There’s nothing more I would like than you staying here, but until we figure out what caused that reaction from you, I’d rather not risk it.”

“It’s only temporary, Y/N. Besides, look—I brought you gifts!” Eiichi says, taking out the bag he brought from home seemingly out of nowhere, filled with things he knew you’d love, such as sweets, your favorite mochi’s of course, alongside some plushies that would always brighten your day when you were a child. “And there’s much more back home…”

Naoya can’t help but feel relieved you had your father for support, but at the same time, a bit jealous and, well, threatened. Not for bad reasons, of course, it was simply because how the hell did he not think of bringing you gifts first?!

“Dad… you’re embarrassing me in front of Naoya.”

“Ah, that’s a parent’s bane, isn’t it? To always embarrass their children—you’ll see what I mean when you both have your baby.”

Perhaps the main reason why you ended up agreeing to leave was because your pregnancy did not seem affected by your supposed allergy; had it been you would’ve refused to leave your husband’s side!

… Well, you still would’ve refused either way, but perhaps a bit more. You hate the idea of being away from the father of your child for too long, after all.

“I don’t think so—Naoya and I are going to be the cool parents, you’ll see.”

“That’s what your mom and I thought, and look at me now, can’t even say anything without you telling me I’m embarrassing you!” Eiichi says, you chuckle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mom was cool! You were always the funny one!”

Naoya smiles.

Now he knows for sure that there’s no safer place for you to be in than with your family, even if that were to be on the other side of the country…

After Naoya prepared everything for your departure, the three eventually made way to the exit, where you and your father would bid their last goodbyes.

“Won’t you accompany me?” you ask, a slight pout on your face, he smiles in hopes to cheer you up, but really, he felt miserable.

“I want to, but I can’t.” He explains. “I have to deal with this as fast as possible if you’re to come back quickly.”

“… Will you visit me over there, at least?” you frown.

“Yes. As soon as I have a chance, I’ll go see you.” Naoya promises.

It had all been too soon, just a few hours ago he arrived at the estate, and now, you’re leaving. Naoya laments that he couldn’t spend a day with you before your departure… but he guesses this to be a rightful sacrifice for your well-being.

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping away from my wife and baby for too long.”

At those words, Eiichi couldn’t help but frown out of sorrow.

It wasn’t fair that neither of you had been able to enjoy this wonderful occasion as you should.

He still remembers the excitement in your voice, the glint in your eye, and the beaming smile on your lips when announcing your pregnancy—alongside the nerves that came with it, of course, which Eiichi eased by reminding you and Naoya that their enthusiasm was nothing but indicative they were already on their way of becoming the loving and supportive parents their baby needed.

But as excited as both were, Eiichi had to cruelly put a stop to their celebrations, especially after Naobito was made aware of this, who wished to proceed by announcing the news to the whole community.

“I have to disagree, Naobito.” Eiichi would be the first to reject the idea, much to everyone’s surprise—yours, specifically.

“And why is that?” He’d ask back, not understanding why the father of the expecting mother, of all people, would be the one to reject so.

“It’s best if Y/N keeps her pregnancy a secret, at least… until it’s undeniably noticeable.”

“But… why, dad?” you asked. This was a moment of absolute joy, to be treated as such! So why did he intend to keep it a secret? Was he… disappointed?

No. Never. He was nothing but happy to see you happy and become a grandfather himself for the first time in his life!

But as a man of his years, he’s learned to be cautious of how said blessings are to be celebrated, as well as seen his fair share of happiness turn sour… things that Eiichi would rather take upon him than allow them to ever befall you.

“Because there’s people out there that might try to hurt you—or the baby.”  He’d explain. “Naobito cannot not deny this, but if anyone hears that you’re pregnant with the Zen’in heir’s baby, those that want to hurt the Zen’in clan, or our family, will see this as the perfect opportunity to do so.”

“I’d never allow such thing, rest assured, there’s no safer place than—” Naoya quickly interjects, wanting to reassure your father, but Eiichi was set on his warnings.

“I wouldn’t have said this if I didn’t see it myself.” Eiichi reminds him, Naoya swallows. “We live in a highly competitive world due to the nature of our families; I’ve lost my wife because of this! And I’d be damned to allow it to happen again to my daughter.”

He hated to remind you of the harsh truth; hated to see how your face would sadden, the excitement for your first child, his first grandchild, quickly disappearing…

“Why would someone do that?” you murmur, frowning.

“They wouldn’t dare—I’ll make sure of it.” Naoya hisses.

Eiichi remained silent, sad for you and your husband. Because even if you’ve experienced first-hand what it is to lose someone through these matters, both have yet to fully understand the extremes those supposedly loyal to them can go to if properly incited. Especially for someone who had so much to lose, just as the elite members of prestigious Zen’in clan.

Even then, your father would not allow such pain to reach you, not the same way it almost did to him and your mother, so, he insisted you keep these news secret from the world—and if you must, only if you must, reveal it to your most faithful ones; the rest could learn when your stomach was too big to deny.

If you do so, keep your baby hidden from the world, safe from those that harbor nothing but pain and sorrow… all will be fine. Eiichi promises so.

…

Or so, that’s what everyone hoped would’ve happened, because if there’s one thing to be learned from this incident, is that no matter how cautious you were, word of your pregnancy still managed to land in the wrong ears, and now, were actively against it.

The question no longer pertained as to how, but rather, who; who was the author of this terrible act?

The notion that someone of Naoya’s relatives, indirectly informed through Naobito’s… drunken rambles, soon crosses the minds of your father and husband. If so, it would make sense as to why they’d use an innocent staff member to do the deed, keep their hands clean of the whole situation, instead of going to bigger extremes.

It’s the most probable of the theories, but they could not annul the following: jealousy from the servants.

Naoya considered that statement to be the most delusional one your father could’ve gathered, but he’d be wise to remember how others perceive him—or more like what he represented. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched that others would desire what he had, or him, in some cases. And naturally, you’re an obstacle to that goal, your baby even more so…

It wasn’t fair, but it was your reality.

Nonetheless, Eiichi and Naoya will still do whatever it takes to keep you safe.

“It’s just for a few days, pumpkin.” Your father would say upon seeing the sadness in your face, which remained even when reassured that Naoya would be with you as soon as possible. “Besides, you’re going to see your brother and sister too—they’ve missed you very much, you know? They’ve been wanting to spoil you and their future niece, or nephew!”

You smile, it’s good that even when in the storm, your family is still able to exude happiness. You could only imagine how enthusiastic they’d be when the baby was finally here.

“I know… I missed them too.” You admit, before looking over to Naoya one last time. “Well… I hope that whatever is keeping you here is quickly dealt with.”

“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Naoya promises, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything—before you know it, you’ll be back at the estate, with me.”

That’s a promise he unfortunately, doesn’t know if will become true inside the promised timeline, but will do anything in his power so it does.

Either way, it’s safe to say that Naoya did manage to keep one part of his promise—and that would be the one where he reassured you wouldn’t even notice his absence, done through sending you endless amounts of gifts, every day, effectively filling your room to the brim with all things he’d knew you’d like, and some for baby too: from clothes for you, to cute onesies he’d like his baby to wear when she was finally here.

“You still think the baby is going to be a girl?” you’d ask through one of the many videocalls he’d make—one daily, at the very least. “Wait a minute… you better not have spoiled me!”

“I just know” He reiterates with shrug; you roll your eyes. “If not, then I’ll have lots of things to return.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I also feel like our baby is going to be a girl.” You smile, warming up Naoya’s heart. “I can’t wait to meet her—I just know she’s going to have your eyes!”

“Or yours, I hope.” He longs, you blush. “Have you been eating well, my love?”

“Yes; and no allergies yet.” You explain, Naoya feels relieved—at least the problem didn’t follow you there. “Maybe I was just unlucky that day, Naoya… Are you sure I can’t return to the estate yet?”

“Not until I’m sure you’re going to be safe here.” Naoya responds, and while his words are meant to be comforting, you can’t shake off the sense that something worse happened; that something far bigger than a simple allergy had struck you, specially with the way your staff and family would act around you, going as far as denying you of any information pertaining to the Zen’in.

But… if your husband had a reason to not say anything now, then the best you could do is trust him. The truth will come out eventually, you suppose. So instead you could focus on other pressing matters.

“Well, at least don’t send me too many gifts.” You continued. “While I appreciate them, between you and my father, I don’t think my house has enough room to store all the things you’ve both given me.”

“Who’s given you more things? Me or your dad?” Naoya nonchalantly asks, you gasp.

“Naoya! That’s not the—take it seriously! Control yourself with the gifts, ok?” you say, he chuckles, but ends up agreeing; at least until the topic has quieted down, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to let your father win the upper hand like that one day ever again. “Or at least save them to when I’m back at the estate… which I hope is soon.”

“Almost there.” Naoya says. “Just a few more things, and we’ll be together once again.”

… even if the answer was to be the same, you still needed to ask.

“Is… everything ok?”

Not precisely, not when he has yet to find out the one responsible for all this…

But he’s gotten a lead, an idea of where to start, of who to hunt—which he knows he’ll find in record time thanks to the fury he harbors, further motivating him to do this as quickly and precisely as possible just so he’d have you back home, with him.

“Nothing you should worry about.” He reiterates. “Just keep focusing on your health, the baby, and not doing anything strenuous.”

“I’m just pregnant, Naoya… nothing extraordinary. I still want to help around., you know?”

“I know, and you’ll be able to do that and more in due time, but for now, keep safe, for me, ok? And our little mochi.”

“When will I see you again?” you ask again, hoping that perhaps this time around, the answer will be different.

“Soon.” He promises. “Soon, my love.”

Once he deals with the bastard that hurt you.

Naoya will give them nothing but a glimpse of the sorrow and pain they’d put you through, his fury—make their life a living hell, make them regret the foolish idea that they could ever get away from it; and still, he doesn’t think he’ll be satisfied with his revenge.

He’d want more, he’d want everyone to know that his family are not ones to mess around with.

He’d burn the whole world to set the message across if necessary—and that would only be the bare minimum for you, the love of his life, and now, his baby…

His home.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

full breakdown of the daycare attendant's color scheme & minor design details throughout their apperances

bc im mentally ill abt them lol

warning: this is a very long post and will probably only interest a very specific audience of people

3d model

(source)

their body follows the pattern of having a "primary" color, a "secondary" color, and an "accent" color. this pattern shows up for all of their apperances.

the primary color is the one applied to the crescent moon on their face, the right half of their torso, the upper half of their forearms, the middle "in between" sections of their fingers, and their legs.

the secondary color is the one applied to the other half of their face, and the other half of their torso.

the accent color is applied to their lower forearm, their palm, and their finger tips.

sun's color scheme is a pale tan color(primary), a light orange color(secondary), and a light grey(accent). notably, sun's 3d model's palms are colored with their primary color instead of their secondary.

moon's colors are a pale white, a blueish black, and bright dark blue respectively. also the white of their upper arm fades out into the blue of their lower arm before ending at the elbow, but this doesn't show up on sun's arm. (also also, moon's eyebrow & eyelash are colored in with their secondary color, while sun's isn't colored in at all.)

the buttons on their chest tend to fall more in line with the main colors of their clothes, except for moon's 3d model which is their body's secondary color instead.

nothing major to say about their clothes, so here's a thought about their color schemes: even though moon shares a lot of colors with sun (red, orange, and yellow), sun's design doesn't have any of moon's blue. (though sometimes sun is shown with blue eyes? so who knows.)

their ruffles and ribbons all tend to stay the same color (red), all except for the ruffles on moon's neck which turn blue. this is a consistent detail throughout all of their designs.

their little elf shoes are orange and stay the same color regardless of which form they're in. there's a crescent moon on the inner facing side and a star on the outer side. the crescent moon's two pointy parts(?) are pointed towards their heel.

i will not talk too much about their head/face, but here are some details that are different in other iterations: their eyes do not move, sun's rays cannot rotate and can only move inwards and outwards, and moon's hat goes over their forehead.

also their ribbons have no physics in this game LOL

concept art

(source)

covering this first because the general color scheme and the placement of those colors is nearly identical to their in game model (albeit with brighter, more saturated colors). the overall design is also highly similar, but with a few notable discrepancies:

one major detail that's different in all their drawn iterations is that their torso is one solid piece instead of two separate parts like it is with their 3d models.

moon's arm gradient is still present on their concept art, however sun now has a lighter colored gradient on the end of their arm to match moon's coloration! (this could always be shading but it feels too specific for this to be the case). (also, moon's arms, fingertips, and stars seem to almost glow? which is potentially what their unused emission textures are based off of.)

sun's palms are colored grey! also, the middle sections of moon's fingers are colored dark grey on the concept art (pretty much everything with their primary color is colored like this ((except their face)), but it's probably just due to shading this time since it's not present anywhere else but here.

they seem to have a little circular panel near where their arm bends that isn't present on their 3d model. same with a rectangular panel on their leg.

their clothes, ribbons, and shoes are mostly the same except for a couple small things: moon's pants have faint lines on them to match sun's, their shoes have no symbols on them, and the bit of ribbon on the ends of their pants is colored yellow instead of red. (also moon's shoes are colored darker.)

their face has a lot of notable differences too, but one of the biggest ones is that they have no left cheek! their grin stretches a lot farther up on that side of their face because of this (they have no lips on that side of their face either!). the circular indent on their cheek is colored in on sun's face, their eyes aren't being squished by their cheeks anymore, and they also have a lot more teeth (which don't stretch into the corners of their mouth, and are colored differently than the rest of their face.) lastly, they share the same color for their eyebrow and eyelash!

official art work

something important to note is that all of the dca's (current) official art will have this color scheme and all of the same details due to them either being drawn by the same artist, or because all other current official artwork of them is based off of this design and/or the concept art. (any and all additional artwork i mention can actually be found on their wiki page, but i'll link to it here if i feel it's important.)

one of the most notable details of their official art is that their accent color has been changed to a light grey color for both of them (albeit slightly warmer or colder to match their respective color schemes). though, interestingly enough, moon's palms (similarly to sun's 3d model) are colored with their primary color instead, despite both designs having this detail in the concept art.

additionally, something that was changed from the sketch for this drawing, is that (like their concept art) their shoes lack the little symbols on them, and the ribbon tied on the end of their pants was colored yellow instead of red. something that wasn't changed though is their lack of a left cheek.

moon's button aren't visible here, but other artworks (such as their claw machine artwork) show them as a blue color to match with sun's red.

sun's arm still has the little circular panel near their elbow that can be found on their concept art.

their face has a lot of similar details to their concept art, while still being stretchy and cartoony. they have a lot more craters spread around their face, and sun has consistently been shown to have a chipped tooth... it's cute.

before i move on, i'd like to talk a little bit about their various eye colors! there are several instances of sun with golden colored eyes (e.g. this drawing here, their in game plush, their claw machine art, their piñata from ruin, their actual design from ruin, and an exclusive design from steelwool's store.), while there are only two instances of sun with blue eyes (the sunnydrop candy poster and their icon on the daycare pass).

moon's eye color (when their eyes aren't just... closed) tends to just be red, but there are still a few instances of them with a blue right eye (their plush and piñata, with their claw machine art's eyes being entirely blue).

there's actually even a few specific instances of their eyes being black (their 3d model, the golden moon plush, and the golden sun plush... however that one is more brown than black.)

there's also that one book cover of moon with the pink spiral eyes but that was more of a one off thing.

ruin

this is where my bitching session starts

very noticeably, their eyes move around in this game. did they finally get the glitter glue out of their eyes after the earthquake or something? does no one care about their dead fish eye swag...

speaking of eyes it's actually kind of lame they have yellow eyes instead of blue. the blue eyes actually have some additional meaning to them when you consider moon, but the yellow eyes are just... well, they're already super yellow. what makes them so special. make moon's eyes yellow for a change.

ok actually relevant: they use a mix of both sun and moon's primary colors, while using exclusively moon's secondary colors... both of their accent colors are used too with sun's on their right and moon's on their left.

suddenly their unused emission textures decide to join the party... this was a weird decision for them to make when those textures weren't even visible before. but ok.

all things considered they're actually not even that damaged. the most major damage is to their outer casing and their leg... like, compared to the others this is pretty good? even compared to the original shattered animatronics this is good??

wait is their hat just sitting on the very top of their head? is that because of the rays? are they holding it up? why was this a thing that was changed.

hw2

ok well the hat is even farther back now. what the hell. why

iirc their eyes don't noticeably move around as much as they do in ruin, but they do still move around sometimes (iirc they spin around after sun's cartwheel?) which i guess is fine. whatever. im the only bitch who would care about this anyway

they nerfed moon's ultra bright high beam eyes in this one... sad!

this is such a non problem but sometimes (especially in sb) when you shine a light on moon their pants have this little purple shaded section on the inner thigh parts and it looks. weird. in this picture it's not visible due to the shaders but it's very noticable in the daycare section of sb when you get a good look at them with the flashlight.

actually you ever realize how their design literally makes no sense whatsoever. how does their casing change color, and why is their coloring so inconsistent between the two without visibly affecting the other? how do their CLOTHES change color like that?? where the hell does the hat come from??? why do specifically and only the neck ruffles change color???? where do their pupils come from????? i will stop talking about this now

jack o' moon

they do have moon's color patterns, they're just shifted around a little. they even sort of have the lack of a texture on the sun rays that moon's model has! but this time it's actually intentional.

their face has the world's shittiest paint job which i think is really funny. i guess it does sort of look like a pumpkin yeah.

idk how the hell their glowing mouth overlay works but it's certainly a thing they have. the glowing eyes are also pretty cool looking admittedly. and the insides of their eyebrow, eyelash, and craters glow a little bit too.. that's cute.

the ruffles on their neck and waist, and the ribbons around the bottom of their pants are green, while the ribbons around their wrists are purple (but a small part of the ribbon on their right wrist is still red)? their shoes are similarly purple.

potato sack pants ♡ it's a really good part of the whole look actually

basically their design is like if bbw eclipse was stupid. but like in a funny and endearing way WAIT ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF THAT

balloon world eclipse

bitching session is officially OVER

first off: sun's faces! so the first face very obviously takes inspiration from their in game artwork while still having the general face shape for their regular look. the scattered look of the craters on their face and the color of their eyebrow reflect this as well. sun doesn't have their trademark chipped tooth but overall it's a very nice look and it serves it's purpose very well.

since sun's 2nd face and moon's are the same i'll go over them both here... this look is very much based off of their concept art look! but it's more noticable in the shape of their eyes and the way their teeth are drawn this time, because they actually do have a left cheek... but the corner of their mouth still stretches up the same way it does when they don't have one! also, the base color for moon's eye is a little purple here which is always fun.

now ECLIPSE... brightly lit yellow eyes with red flickering pupils... the light being pushed out between the cracks of their teeth... a menacing color scheme too dark for sun but too bright for moon... the faint color of the illuminated crescent moon hidden inside the darkness of their face... their complete and utter lack of a left cheek because it never got added onto this sprite... this is PEAK eclipse design

also, this isn't about their design but i edited these sprites for something a while back and noticed that some of the pixels were just ever so slightly off color? which leads me to believe this was done in a regular art program not made for pixel art, and that whoever made these isn't super experienced with it.. however that honestly just adds to the charm for me. i really love these sprites.

harvest moon

oh mmy god look at it

[thatfeyboy]

I need to know why it makes people so unreasonably upset to suggest that some dysphoric trans people probably should be considered intersex. Do you just. Hate trans people? Or is it because anything that makes trans physical isn't allowed?

It has been stated many many times that not all trans people have dysphoria, and not all trans people that do experience the same dysphoria. It has been harped on that gender is social and about presentation and isn't binary. Fine. But somehow when I or people like me talk about having physical and immutable dysphoria that doesn't stem from social means it's not ok. When I bring up that yes, some parts of the brain control your hormones and gonads, and yes, some parts recognize what you are and should look like, im treated like a fucking gender critical.

Why is it wrong to say that parts of the brain do in fact qualify as sex related because that's what they are for? If they dont physically square with the binary(naturally, not through intervention) then that person is not binary/intersex in their physical disposition by definition. It's not exactly a hard concept to grasp.

And because I have to, no, most aspects of the brain are not related to our bimodal sex system. There can in fact be gender/sex nuance in certain parts of the brain without claiming male and female type brains exist as a whole. Fear of some shitty crack pot idea should not prevent people from understanding scientific inquiry and research.

Being intersex does not make the trans experience more or less valid/real. But I'm tired of pretending I'm a man for reasons that absolutely don't apply to me. Nothing about my being trans has anything to do with how I want to socially be, aside as an extension of others viewing my body as I wish it to be. If there is really room in the community for all of us, then my saying that some of our experience is different shouldn't be a problem.

EDIT: Thank you for some of your responses. I would like to amend my statement slightly. When I mentioned intersex I was more trying to imply, as I lacked a better word, that it is clear some if not most trans people that experience dysphoria have a physical developmental reason for that, likely epigenetic, genetic, and pre natal conditions. This type of sense is in most people, including cis people, hence why you cannot train someone to be a gender they aren't(no desistance of gender identity in both cis and trans people regardless of treatment). If intersex is to be interpreted as things exclusively affecting external or internal primary sex traits(as to be read, physically involved in the act of procreation) that are only ever natal, then I am ok in accepting intersex is not the best fit(except for that PCOS study but not super relevant rn).

That being said, I do still believe it is a part of sex and sex/gender development and that it is a physical condition(most anatomy based dysphoria). I don't see why it being a part of sex and sex development is a problem, when it has no other answer that satisfies our actual understanding of the condition and those peoples experience. Anything based on socialization has been disproven time and time again, so when are we going to stop acting like this

[anim-ttrpgs]

Vampire Player Character Rules in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

Eureka has six playable "monster" types, and about ten total supernatural character options all together. Each supernatural trait is taken basically as if it is a normal trait like the ones you have been seeing us post. You cannot give a character more than one supernatural trait--and from what you are about to read, you probably wouldn't want to. Playing monsters is recommended for "advanced" players only, people who like a lot of "crunch" in their games, as require you to keep track of a lot more mechanics than playing a normal human.

Here is the Vampire Trait as it appears in its overhauled state in the patreon release. The August itchio beta does not currently have these overhauled monster traits(though, you could just use this post as reference if you wanted to play with the overhauled vampire rules, we don't mind! They're much better rules and we want people to have the most fun possible!)

If you are reading this past about October 24th, then there is a good chance that the itchio beta actually has been updated to include these improved rules, fingers crossed!

Anyway here we go. This is going under a Read More because it's long as hell but we really hope that you will check it out and comment. This is, like, the whole entire ruleset for playing a vampire in Eureka.

Vampire (Monster Trait) 

Vampires have quite a lot of powers, more than twice as many as any other monster, all informed by pre-1900 vampire legends. As a Narrator or a player portraying a vampire, don't fret about remembering all the vampire's powers at all times - they certainly don't. Some effects of these powers and weaknesses are left intentionally somewhat vague so as to leave them partially up to Narrator/player discretion. This is intentional, and is meant to reflect that no two vampires work exactly the same. 

Eureka presents a particular perspective on the legend of the vampire, while still adhering very strictly to real historical vampire folklore. It is a specific interpretation, which sets the stage for specific themes in the lives of vampiric investigators. 

Vampires, and the legends surrounding them, perhaps more so than any other monster present as a playable monster in the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy rulebook, are inextricably linked to continental Europe and therefore Abrahamic[1] faiths.[2] Some may argue that vampire legends exist all around the world in every time and place, and that may be true, if you think that the only defining feature of a vampire is that they drink blood. What you are calling “vampires” from other cultures are each actually their own concept, with their own rich folkloric history, only overlapping with the European vampire on the Venn diagram in the fact that they drink blood and perhaps are undead. Loss and fear are universal, but the way different historical cultures interpret and portray these things in their stories are not. If you would like to play one of the many creatures that often gets attributed as “[other culture]’s vampire,” we encourage this and invite you to do some research into them, to see how unique and interesting each of these spirits from around the world really are.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Predominantly Catholic and Orthodox, but enough of it also applies to other Abrahamic faiths.

[2  off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires are of course not entirely unique in coming from a very specific cultural context, but the authors of this book are writing what they know. If there’s two things that the American South has, it’s vampires and Christianity. The American South is a deeply Christian environment, and we know what that can do to a person (for better or for worse), whereas we have less of a personal connection - and more importantly, less intimate knowledge and access to firsthand accounts - of the cultural heritage of some of the other monsters, so even where a specific cultural background may be additive to the rules thematically, such as the conception of women in historical and modern Greek culture for gorgons, we have chosen not to elaborate. 

Vampiric investigators in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy are all considered to have been raised in cultures of Abrahamic faith. They may have remained unchanged in their faith or lack thereof, found faith, or lost faith[1] in their transition from life to undeath, but no matter what, Abrahamic faith has strongly influenced their life in some way.[2] This is a prerequisite for an investigator being a vampire.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] A vampire who never had any faith to begin with would have to be a very, very young vampire.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting.] If creating a vampiric investigator with a religious upbringing more than a couple centuries ago, bear in mind that the way historical people related to and conceptualized their faith is often very different than the way modern people do. Try to look into what those historical peoples actually believed; pop-history will tell you that medieval Roman Catholicism and modern American Protestantism are the same. They aren’t. The middle ages were the middle ages, not the 1950s.

[2.1. off to the side in the final formatting] Depending on their place of origin, some “vampires” older than a few centuries may prefer to identify themselves as “revenants” or “draugr.” It would be quite rude to try and correct them.

[Snoop: The tall thin vampire snoopette with hat standing on the ceiling right behind a frightened snoop in a dark room, who does not know she is there. Maybe make the background black and the snoops white to show that it is dark? Give the frightened snoop a flashlight with a white beam?]

Superhuman Strength

When not debilitated by a weakness, vampires are considered to have Superhuman Strength, and a +10 Base bonus to Athletics[4] and +1 Base bonus to Close Combat.[1][2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires do not have stamina in the same sense as living beings do, and may appear to have unlimited energy as far as conventional physical exertion goes. Their extreme and unnatural strength does not actually come from their muscles.

[2  off to the side in the final formatting] Despite what the movies say, vampires do not have superhuman speed. Though superhuman strength and seemingly unlimited stamina means they can still move frighteningly fast. 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] 1 Samuel 16:14.

[4 off to the side in the final formatting] This means that their Athletics bonus will almost always be equal to their current Composure level. 

In Lizard Fashion

When not debilitated by a Weakness, vampires have the ability to walk or climb on any solid surface as if it were a floor.[1][2] Re-orienting to a surface that would be impossible to stand on normally counts as use of a supernatural ability. Additionally, so long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, if they do choose, vampires are immovable. They will never lose their balance or be able to be knocked off their feet.[3] Their bones will break before they budge. Making use of this power is only possible when they are standing still, and counts as use of a supernatural ability. This cannot be used in response to a Stealth Attack, and if the vampire is otherwise not expecting to need it, they must make a Full Success on a Reflexes roll to be able to do so.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] A vampire’s hair and clothes will hang towards whatever surface they are oriented to, rather than the actual ground. 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Under most environmental conditions, there is no difference in effort between standing and sitting for a vampire. 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] Great for parties, and Michael Jackson moves. 

Psycho-Social Phenomenon

When not debilitated by a weakness, vampires have a +3 Contextual bonus to Stealth. This bonus increases by +1 for each point of Composure the vampire is missing.[1][4][5] Additionally, vampires do not have saliva, skin oils, or anything else of the sort. If they lose hair, it will disintegrate like any other post body part, and soon reappear on the body.[3] Vampires will never leave fingerprints[2] or any other DNA evidence behind.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] At 0 Composure, this bonus would be +10.

[2  off to the side in the final formatting] One exception may be if they have something else on their fingers besides skin oils. 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] This can make shaving very tricky!

[4 off to the side in the final formatting] Even without meaning to, vampires tend to appear “right on top of” people without ever being noticed on the approach. 

[5  off to the side in the final formatting] Sometimes vampires cannot even be seen at all until one looks directly at them. 

The Cave Wall

Any character who makes a Full Success on a Senses roll directed towards a vampire will instantly lose 1 Composure or 1 Morale, with no explanation or description from the Narrator. This is 2 Composure and 2 Morale if the focus of the Senses roll is actually directed to the space behind the vampire, such as looking over their shoulder. Additionally, at times, the motions of the vampire may appear subtly “choppy,” almost as though animated, and at lower frame rate than their surroundings.

Wearing the Evening

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, vampires are capable of instantly relocating in total or near total darkness.[1] This instant relocation cannot pass through solid objects, and there must be an uninterrupted line of darkness between the start point and end point of this relocation. Additionally, a vampire’s vision is not significantly affected by absence of light until there is literally no light present at all.[2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] This does not require a Composure roll for use of a supernatural ability. Vampires may not even be fully conscious of the fact that they are instantly relocating in total darkness. 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Time to try out echolocation as a bat!

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] With miniscule sources of light, their vision may still feel somewhat impaired, but not enough to warrant a mechanical penalty modifier. 

[3.1. off to the side in the final formatting] Bright light, however, can cause discomfort, even if it is not sunlight. Many vampires may opt to wear sunglasses even indoors or at night. 

Hovering

Vampires are capable of hovering up to three feet off the ground when manifesting as a human,[1] though actually moving while doing this is no faster than walking. This ability must start from the ground, and cannot be done to save a vampire from a freefall. 

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Another great party trick. 

Teeth and Claws

A vampire’s nails are hard and sharp like claws.[1] This allows them to deal Penetrative Damage instead of Superficial Damage with any unarmed melee attack. When they are not debilitated by a weakness, this damage can be doubled due to Superhuman Strength.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] A steel file is required for filing these nails down, they tear up lesser files.

Vampires also have fangs.

Hibernation

Vampires do not need to sleep, ever.[1] Their closest equivalent is entering a state of suspended animation for months, years, or even decades at a time. No coffin or grave dirt is required. This is useful for laying low while heat dies down, recovering from destruction of the “physical” body, or simply resetting the vampires ever quickening perception of the passage of time.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Most vampires will remain awake for decades at a time.

Breathing, or Lack Thereof

Vampires have no need to breathe, except to talk or sniff the air.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] It is easy for vampires to forget to breathe.

Remanifestation

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, a vampire may manifest in any of the following five ways.[1] Remanifesting as a different manifestation counts as use of a Supernatural Ability, and counts as taking 1 action if done in combat. A vampire cannot manifest as any manifestation that there is not enough empty space available to contain, even if the solid object taking up that space is paper thin.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Nothing is really changing, just another aspect rising to the surface. 

Human Manifestation

This is the default manifestation. All aspects of the Vampire Trait apply. [maybe add the human-only things like claws here]

Bat Manifestation

As this manifestation, the vampire appears as a small bat with a maximum Superficial and Penetrative HP of 3 and Acceleration of +3. They do *not* have superhuman strength, and are limited to only feats of strength and other actions that a small mammal without opposable thumbs could accomplish. Any attack by this manifestation can deal at most 1 Superficial Damage. Any attack against this manifestation suffers a -2 penalty.[1][2]

[1  off to the side in the final formatting] This manifestation may be considered adorable.

[2  off to the side in the final formatting] Trying to do a whole swarm of bats at once is a great way to give yourself one-hundred concurrent head injuries. 

As this manifestation, the vampire may use echolocation to find their way even in total darkness, and have a +5 Contextual bonus to any Senses roll involving sound.

As this manifestation, the vampire has a +4 Contextual bonus to Stealth.

All other aspects of vampirism apply.

Wolf Manifestation

As this manifestation, the vampire appears as a wolf with a +2 Contextual bonus to Close Combat, a +4 Contextual bonus to Senses rolls involving sound and smell, and +4 Acceleration. They maintain superhuman strength, but are limited to actions which a canine without opposable thumbs could accomplish.

As this manifestation, the vampire’s only means of attack is with their jaws. This is a Grab attack. So long as the target is Grabbed, all other aspects of Grabbing apply, but the target also takes 2 Penetrative Damage on each of the vampire’s turn’s with no roll needed.

As this manifestation, the vampire has a +4 Base bonus to Stealth.

All other aspects of vampirism still apply.

Mist/Smoke Manifestation

As this manifestation, the vampire appears as a cloud of autonomously mobile smoke or mist with a volume of at most 4,000 cubic feet,[2] capable of squeezing through any gap that is not perfectly air-tight.[1] This manifestation has very limited ability to interact with or even perceive the physical world. They can only feel their surroundings, meaning their “vision” is limited to only the vague outlines of what the cloud is touching.[3]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Black, grey, or red are common colorations.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting.] This is a lot smaller than it sounds, a little bigger than a bedroom.

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] Skin and assimilated clothing evaporates, then muscle, then bone. When the vampire takes on a solid manifestation, the sequence will be reversed.

As this manifestation, though the vampire does maintain their Superhuman Strength bonuses, they cannot pick up, assimilate, or otherwise exert their will on physical objects. They cannot be attacked in any way, though they will need to make a Full Success on an Athletics roll to resist powerful suction or other strong air currents.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Though remanifesting as smoke properly requires an action, any missed attack against a vampire or other sort of dodge may be described as the vampire spontaneously evaporating for a split second before resolidifying.

This manifestation is not ordinarily heavy enough to suffocate a human being or cause any damage at all, but can be made vicious by spending of Eureka! Points. The cloud becomes oppressive, choking, and even capable of causing very small lacerations on the body, inside and out. The effect is somewhat like being in a sandstorm made of broken glass. Up to the vampire, any number of characters within the cloud may be targeted.[1] For the duration the manifestation is maintained, targets will take 2 Superficial Damage per turn per Eureka! Point spent. Targets forced to take Injury rolls or killed[2] as a result of this damage will be considered to be partially drained of blood by the vampire and restore the vampire’s Composure appropriately.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] It may be difficult for a vampire to tell friend from foe by their fuzzy, colorless outlines alone.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] Hardly anything may remain of targets killed in this way.

All other aspects of vampirism apply.

Monstrous Beast Manifestation

As this manifestation, a vampire appears as a monstrously massive bat-like[2] beast larger than most cars, but maintaining this manifestation in the world requires a near constant intake of fresh human blood. This manifestation has 17 of both types of HP, a +2 Contextual bonus to Close Combat, a +4 Contextual bonus to Senses involving hearing and smell, a +4 Acceleration bonus, and a -10 penalty to Stealth.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Seven is the Biblical number of perfection.

[1.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Now you are thinking like a vampire.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] It is most common for it to resemble a bat, but the exact shape and size of the monstrous beast varies from vampire to vampire. 

This manifestation is considered to have Superhuman Strength, and the Base bonuses from Superhuman Strength become *Contextual*.

As this manifestation, the vampire loses 6 Composure per round.

This manifestation has two effective means of attack, a Vehicle Attack using their Athletics divided by 2 (rounded up) instead of Driving, and their enormous jaws. The vampire can use their jaw to make Grab attacks. So long as the target is grabbed by the vampire’s jaw, they automatically take 4 Penetrative Damage each time it is the vampire’s turn with no roll needed. The vampire can continue to perform other actions while Grabbing a target with their jaws and movement is unimpeded. Rather than deal the 4 Penetrative Damage, if the vampire is Grabbing a target of human or smaller size with their jaws, they may make a Hold attack using either Athletics or Close Combat to simply swallow them whole.[1] This manifestation can stomach at most two humans at a time.[2] For a target swallowed alive, depending on the context and circumstances, the Narrator may simply declare them as good as dead and not make any rolls, or apply the Drowning/Suffocation rules. The only chance this target would have of damaging the vampire from the inside would be with a small piercing weapon. They may also make an Escape attempt, but attacking or attempting to escape would be considered exertion for the purposes of the Drowning/Suffocation rules. However, the first successful Escape attempt will put them in the beast’s jaws, not totally free. They must also Escape from the beast’s jaws to be totally free. 

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Flesh is blood.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] It is not known what will happen to a person in the beast’s stomach if the vampire remanifests as something much smaller. 

Remanifestation and Items

Small and/or low-density items that have been in contact with a particular manifestation for a long period of time will be “assimilated” by this manifestation. Assimilation by a manifestation means that when a vampire remanifests to a different manifestation, those items will vanish along with the previous manifestation, and reappear along with it.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Maybe someday vampires could be explained by a physicist, but not by a biologist, like the shadows on the cave wall.

For gameplay purposes, this concept is simplified to where certain items will always count as assimilated and others items will never count. Unassimilated items will fall to the ground when the vampire shifts manifestations.[1][3]

Always Counts as Assimilated:

Basic clothing and accessories the vampire is wearing, including hats, cloaks, and shoes.

Wallets and their contents.

Small electronics such as cellphones.

Never Counts as Assimilated:

Any clothing which provides Armor.

Any weaponry.

Larger electronics such as laptops.

Anything made of silver.

Larger accessories such as purses or backpacks.

People and other living things.

Anything that is both recently obtained and narratively important.[2]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Before remanifesting, a vampire should ask a friend to hold her purse, leather jacket, gun, but not worry about her cellphone or the rest of her outfit.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting.] A vampire may be able to sneak into room as a cloud of smoke, but once they have the documents or other item they’re trying to steal, they will have to find their way out as a manifestation that can actually carry it.

[3. Off to the side in the final formatting] Assimilated objects will lose their vampiric properties if separated from the vampire for long enough.

An Object at Rest Cannot be Stopped

Vampires take half-damage from all damage sources, the only exception being HP that results from loss of Composure. If a vampire wears armor that protects against whatever is dealing the damage, this damage is halved again, for one quarter damage, rounding up. Apply a -2 modifier to attacks against the vampire from 1-damage weapons.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires take half-damage not because their flesh is extraordinarily durable, but because they just don’t need it to ‘live.’ Wolfmen, however, take half-damage because they are extraordinarily dense and durable. 

Decentralized Animation

One round after a body part is severed, a vampire will be able to reassert control over it, even in the event of decapitation. Any Skill check taken by a detached body part will have a -3 penalty applied, unless the vampire can see the body part, in which case it is -2.[1] [Maybe call this or something else “extrinsic animation.”]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] After death, every motion of the body is something which must be entirely relearned, even the act of standing and walking is an entirely different experience. Doing so under the sun’s rays, and around fast-moving water, are similarly distinct forms of animation. 

[1.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Many say the hardest thing is relearning how to dance. 

Healing

Regular first-aide will work on vampires in most cases within reason, but, so long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, their “physical” bodies return to their basic state over time. Vampires automatically recover 1 point of Superficial and Penetrative HP at the beginning of every game session, and 1 point of Superficial HP at the end of each day, so long as they are not debilitated by a weakness. 

Additionally, so long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, if they took damage to either HP type during an instance of combat, they restore 1 HP of the same type as soon as the combat is resolved.

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, a vampire may take 1 action to reattach a severed body part at the stump and have it work again good as new after 1 turn.

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, if a vampire’s Penetrative HP is full, instead of recovering Penetrative HP from any of the above rules, they recover from one Grievous Wound, permanent or not.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] If this is a missing body part, the severed body part will disintegrate and reintegrate back where it’s supposed to be.

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, a vampire may spend 1 Eureka! Point to instantly recover all Superficial and Penetrative HP, and from all Grievous Wounds. This takes 1 action.

Unkillable

If a vampire is reduced to 0 Penetrative HP, they do “die” instantly, but they will not stay “dead” permanently, barring specific circumstances. (See: How to “Kill” a Vampire p.Xx) It may take weeks, months, or years, but the vampire will eventually return, even if their “physical” body is absolutely obliterated. A “dead” vampire investigator is removed from the current adventure same as a regular dead investigator, but may return and be played in any subsequent adventure.[1][2]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Can the fact that it appears that someone is continuing to live when they should not be considered anything short of a miracle? 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] The Not Finished Yet Trait increases an investigator’s Penetrative HP dramatically, with the caveat that they will die at the end of the adventure if they take too much damage. Well, unless they’re killed in a very specific way, vampires revive in between adventures, so that kind of negates the entire downside of the Trait, doesn’t it? Well, not exactly. There’s two ways we suggest handling this. The first way is to have it represent a vampire who is on the verge of passing on, whether they know it or not, by reaching certain personal revelations, accomplishing their unfinished business, and that this time it will be permanent - peaceful, even. Alternatively, it could represent that, not unlike a mortal with the same Trait, this vampire is pushing themselves past any remotely sustainable level of bodily damage, and if it goes too far this *will* catch up to them at the end of the adventure. Should they drop below the threshold for Penetrative HP, regardless of Eureka! Points spent to restore their HP or revive them, they will fall into hibernation or fade away and remain “dead” for *decades* or more. Yes, they will eventually return, but it won’t be any time soon. This happened to Yvette Preux in the 1890s and that’s why she slept through most of the 20th century. 

A vampire whom has been reduced to 0 Penetrative HP does not heal from first-aide or any of the other rules mentioned under “Healing.”

Revival

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, a vampire that has been reduced to 0 Penetrative HP and “killed” for the adventure may spend 2 Eureka! Points to revive with 1 of both types of HP, but only once a minimum of 5 Scenes have passed. A vampire may instead spend 3 Eureka! Points to revive instantly, so long as they have been “dead” for at least 1 round.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] John 11:1-44.

Threatening Presence

It’s subtle, but something about vampires will always make the hair on the back of people’s necks stand up, or send a chill down their spine, like their body is trying to warn them of what they’re really talking to. Vampires have a +1 Contextual bonus to Threaten rolls and a -1 to Comfort rolls. Any other mortal human investigators, including monsters, take a -1 penalty to all Composure rolls so long as they are sharing a Scene with the vampire.[1][2] 

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] It should not be explained how or why this -1 applies. Even veteran Eureka players will not be able to know for sure whether this -1 is from vampirism or from the Wicked Trait.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Even if you don’t know why, being in a room with a vampire can be like being in a room with a bug that might start flying at any moment, especially when the vampire starts moving suddenly again after standing still.

[2.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] When a vampire stands still, they stand perfectly still. More motions are a conscious decision than not.

The Creeps

If playing with “The Creeps” optional rule, the vampire’s player rolls a hidden D6 at the start of every Scene. On a 6, they will privately message or signal the Narrator, and the Narrator will call for “The Creeps” at the next available opportunity, without revealing that it is the result of having a vampire present. Players and investigators alike will wonder what is so anxiety-inducing about this clean office building or peaceful elevator ride. Add +1 to any The Creeps Composure roll by investigators who are friends with the vampire and are aware of the vampirism.

Bloodthirsty (Vampire True Nature)

[Snoop: That tall skinny lady vampire snoop with the big hat biting into another snoop’s neck. Use a pose where she is holding the other snoop in front of herself. I’ll find or make a reference I don’t know what the pose is called.]

Vampires do not need to eat regular meals,[1][2] nor do they need to sleep, so they suffer no Flat Composure Damage from skipping meals nor from staying up all night. However, they also do not gain any Composure Points from eating normal food or getting sleep. 

Flat Composure Damage from Skipping Meals = No 

Composure restoration from Three Meals a Day  = No 

Flat Composure Damage from Skipping Sleep = No 

Composure restoration from Full Night’s Sleep = No

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Though their sensitivity to spices and their lack of saliva can sometimes prove an obstacle, vampires actually can eat and even enjoy ‘normal food,’ though it provides no nutritional benefit. It is not actually known what happens to ‘normal food’ consumed by vampires, except that it doesn’t seem to come out.  

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires do not have to drink blood with any sort of regularity, only when they need it, which is something that may vary from vampire to vampire, and in the case of vampire investigators, depend on how much Composure they are losing. 

Vampires need to drink fresh, living human blood, and a lot of it, in order to exist in any degree of comfort. Animal blood does nothing for them.[1][2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] If this really needs to be stated, no, menstrual blood isn’t really blood and does not work.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Though they are unlikely to ever “lose control,” at least not more so than a famished mortal, a vampire will almost never feel completely satiated.

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] 2:173. 

Making a Wound

A vampire does not have to use their fangs to make a wound and drink blood, they may use their claws, a knife, or even a phlebotomy needle if the other person would just hold still.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] A vampire is a gaping wound left where a life used to be, and now the world is bleeding out. 

When Grabbing or Holding a target, the vampire can use their fangs, claws, a knife, or whatever else they prefer to open a large blood vessel and press their lips to it to drink blood. These wounds are not magical and will heal like any other wound if allowed to, and do not transform the victim into a vampire or anything else of the sort.

This attack uses Athletics or Close Combat and, regardless of superhuman strength, does 4 damage on a Full Success, 2 damage on a Partial Success, and no damage on a Failure. The type of damage is up to the vampire.

They may choose to do 4 Superficial Damage by making a smaller wound and/or targeting a less critical blood vessel, such as the radial or elbow brachial;[1] or they may choose to do 4 Penetrative Damage by creating a larger wound and/or targeting a more critical vessel, such as the carotid, jugular, shoulder brachial, or femoral.[2]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] All of these blood vessels are critical to the human body. 4 Superficial Damage from attacking a “less critical” vessel can still result in loss of consciousness or even death. 

[2 Off to the side in the final formatting] Arterial blood is oxygenated and relatively free of debris compared to venous blood, and as such it is preferred by most vampires.

In order for the vampire to be considered to have consumed a sufficient amount of blood, the victim must be forced to make an Injury roll as a direct result of the damage from this attack. The success or failure of the victim’s Injury roll is irrelevant.

Drinking copious amounts of blood is not something that can be done as speedily as any regular combat action. It is simply not viable to measure this in Rounds. Once the vampire starts drinking, they will be drinking for the remainder of the combat. The victim gets to make only one Escape attempt for the duration of the blood draining.[1]

Superficial Damage

Time to Injury Roll: 10 minutes

Time to Death: 30 minutes.

Penetrative Damage

Time to Injury Roll: 1 minute.

Time to Death: 2 minutes.

Once the victim expires, their blood is no-longer nutritious.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires are not people who are cursed with vampirism, they are the curse–everyone else who has to deal with them are who’s cursed. The suffering of their prey is part of the feeding process. They are ghosts, dead, the blood they drink is life. The vampire legend largely arises from the grief of losing family members by watching them suffer slow, very painful deaths from illnesses, the vampire is representative of the pain of having to watch a loved one waste away. The blood has to be preferably taken by force and it has to hurt, because what they’re really consuming is the slow and agonizing extraction of life from the living. This is why there can be no substitute for human blood. 

[1.1. off to the side in the final formatting] Why was this allowed to happen to them?

[1.2. off to the side in the final formatting]  Why are they allowed to happen to other people?

[1.3. off to the side in the final formatting] Are they real?

During this process, if they are going for Penetrative damage, the vampire must also make a Reflexes roll to attempt to remain clean while drinking blood. If they just don’t care about manners, however, they can choose to simply Fail and skip the roll.[1]

Full Success: They do not spill a drop, leaving no evidence on their person that they just drank blood.

Partial Success: They are not fast enough to drink from the wound, and blood spirts onto their face and mouth.

Failure: They are not fast enough to drink from the wound, and blood gets everywhere. On the ground, on their face, on their clothes. This will be very hard to explain.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Most vampires’ fangs will take on a slight curve when they are allowed to grow out long enough, perfect for sinking in behind large arteries and pulling them out, where they can then be used like a straw. This is, of course, very efficient, but always fatal. More conscientious vampires may create smaller cuts or puncture marks in major blood vessels from which to drink.

Willing Donors 

If the other person is cooperative, there is no need to roll the Grabs, Holds, bites, etc. The vampire can just deal the damage using their teeth, claws, knife, or even a phlebotomy needle, if they’d just hold still. Choosing to deal Superficial Damage consumes 2 Ticks. Penetrative Damage consumes 1 Tick, and still requires a Reflexes (or Medicine in this case) roll to avoid a mess.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] The vampire is nourished by the suffering of those who care about them the most.

Blood Banks 

There are of course establishments which keep large quantities of human blood in stock. However, this doesn’t provide an easy solution to a vampire’s problem. They are always at least somewhat secure, and their stock is carefully tracked. What’s more, for blood to be any good to a vampire, it has to be fresh, nothing that’s been separated from the body for too long. If it’s near expiry, it’s worthless. A haul of fresh blood bags will restore at most 1 point of Composure.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Someone will be liable for that missing inventory, and someone else will go without a vital transfusion. There is always a wound.

Composure Restoration

A vampire recovers 1 point of Composure when they cause a victim to make an Injury roll as a result of the damage dealt by having their blood drained. A vampire can gain at most 1 Composure from the same victim this way within a single Scene, no matter how many subsequent Injury rolls within the same Scene.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Does communion wine count for blood to a vampire? Do you believe in transubstantiation? Is a vampire not equally the person they once were, and something much greater and more terrible at the same time?

Continuing to drain blood until the victim expires will restore 1 additional point of Composure.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] In the event that the victim dies before they are caused to make an Injury roll, the vampire will still regain 2 Composure.

When a vampire drinks blood, they will also regain 1 additional point of Composure if they do at least 5 Morale damage,[1] or 3 points of Composure damage, to the victim within the same Scene before or during the blood draining.[2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] This is possible even if the victim does not have 5 total Morale to loose, so long as the vampire does enough Morale-lowering things to be equivalent to 5 Morale damage. It is recommended that the vampire’s player keep track of this, to lighten the load on the Narrator. 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting]   This does have the added benefit of getting the victim’s adrenaline going and their heart pumping fast. After all, vampires feed on human suffering as much as the literal blood itself.

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] Terrifying or tormenting a victim alone without actually drinking blood will not restore any of the vampire’s Composure.

Where Does the Blood Go?

When fresh human blood enters a vampire’s stomach, it soon finds its way into the vampire’s own blood vessels through unknown means, their own heart even fluttering back to life to circulate it evenly, filling the vampire with warmth and life again from the inside out. This blood remains in their system for an irregular amount of time before eventually fading away to nothingness. If cut, they will bleed the victim’s blood.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Though they have no reason to fear (permanent) death from weapons, when vampires make Composure rolls for being damaged by weapons, it could be considered that that which nourishes them is being drawn from their body. It’s almost like food being taken right out of their stomach.

For gameplay purposes, consider a vampire to have their most recent victim’s blood flowing through their veins so long as they are at 4 Composure or above,[1] with a higher level of realistic human warmth the closer they are to 7 Composure. Below the threshold of 4 Composure, the inside of their body will be dry, starchy, and off-black.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Yes, this does mean that some small amount of liveliness can seemingly return to them through other means of Composure restoration.

When that which is not living human flesh and blood enters a vampire’s stomach, it does nothing to nourish the vampire, merely sitting in the stomach until suddenly vanishes after 1 Tick.[1][2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] No one knows where used up blood and other food items end up, least of all the vampire. They don’t seem to come out of either end, and most vampires would be hesitant to search too hard for answers.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires truly give nothing back, not even to the soil.

[3. off to the side in the final formatting] Substances which cause altered states of consciousness, such as alcohol and narcotics, will have no effect on a vampire if taken by mouth. However, chemicals in a victim’s blood can affect the vampire, such that drinking from an inebriated victim could inebriate the vampire. If the vampire’s own veins are flowing with blood, substances taken through injection could also affect them. Substances taken by smoke inhalation will likely irritate a vampire due to the smell, but may or may not otherwise affect them.

Smelling Blood

Vampires use their heightened sense of taste and smell to sniff out human blood. A vampire can confirm if there is human blood - inside or outside a person - within the vicinity with a Partial Success on a Senses roll. With a Full Success, they can identify approximate number of individuals, their general direction and proximity, and in some cases may be able to recognize individuals whose blood they have smelled or tasted before.

Scent Tracking 

Vampires are capable of Scent Tracking. (See p.xx “Scent Tracking”.) Apply a -2 penalty to the roll if the scent trail and scent example do not involve the target’s blood in any way.

I Burn Easily (Vampire Weakness)

Vampires have several literally “debilitating” weaknesses, other weaknesses that appear more neurotic, a special method required to kill them permanently, and many noteworthy tells.

Sunlight

Direct sunlight will debilitate a vampire for the duration of their exposure, rendering them unable to use or benefit from powers marked as such above. “Direct” sunlight exposure means being outside during the day, in the sun’s rays pouring through a window, or similar direct exposure.[1] Artificial UV light also counts. Shady areas and clouds will not prevent debilitation, but may help mitigate the worst of the sun’s effects.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Moonlight is not strong enough exposure to debilitate the vampire or impose penalties, though it may still feel like it stings a bit.

In addition to debilitation from their powers, when exposed to direct sunlight vampires suffer a -7 penalty to all rolls, including Composure rolls, representing painful rapid onset sunburn and eventual degradation of the skin as strength is sapped from their body. Sunlight does not do any direct HP damage to vampires, though the Composure damage could dip into HP.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] It is unknown whether this sunburn and degradation of the skin will eventually escalate to disintegration, most vampires are not interested in staying exposed long enough to find out. The earliest depiction of a vampire being killed by sunlight is Nosferatu(1922).

While nothing short of a full-body radiation suit can prevent debilitation, there are a few things a vampire can do or wear to mitigate the worst of the effects. Each of the following will lessen the severity of the sunlight penalty by 1, to a minimum of -0.

High SPF Sunscreen

Sunglasses

Hood or Wide Brimmed Hat

Full Body Coverage Below Neck (including feet but not hands)

Gloves

Umbrella or Parasol

Cloak, Jacket, or Overcoat

Heavy Shade

Overcast or Rainy Day

Once per Scene, upon being exposed to direct sunlight, a vampire must make a +3 Composure roll. This Composure roll is affected by the sunlight penalty as well as the mitigating factors thereof.

Silver

Direct physical contact with silver will debilitate a vampire for the duration of their exposure, rendering them unable to use or benefit from powers marked as such above.

Silver burns a vampire’s body as though it is white hot, and this disruption of their being confers a -4 penalty to all rolls, including Composure rolls, for as long as they are in contact. Silver does not do any direct HP damage to vampires, but being damaged by a silver weapon will apply the -4 penalty to the resulting Composure roll.

Silver Bullets

Silver is a particularly soft metal. A bullet made of silver, or even just plated in silver, when penetrating a target at high velocity is likely to shatter within the body and leave small pieces of silver residue behind.[1] Each time this character is shot with a silver bullet, look at the physical dice that were rolled. If they are both odd numbers or both even numbers, the bullet does leave a bit of silver in the body and the character is considered to be in physical contact with silver for all rules purposes until these pieces are dug out.[2]

[1 off to the side in final formatting] At the time of writing this, a single, fireable, professionally manufactured silver bullet costs $150+Shipping.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] To be perfectly clear, this is not about modifiers or cumulative value of the dice. If you roll the dice and see two odd numbers or two even numbers on the physical dice, that is when there are bits of silver left in the body. For D12s, silver is left in the body if any D12 in the roll shows an 8 or a 9, even if that specific die did not cause a hit–so long as another D12 in the same group did cause a hit. 

Silver Hollow Points

Silver hollow point bullets will always leave what counts as a single piece of silver stuck in the body.

Silver Pellets

Silver shotgun shell pellets, flechettes, or other weapons which hit with numerous pieces of silver at once will always leave silver stuck in or clinging to the body.

Silver Melee Weapons

Silver melee weapons must be stuck in and left in the vampire’s physical body in order to fully debilitate them.

Digging Silver Out

Silver lodged in the vampire’s physical body will obviously be in contact with them and debilitating them indefinitely until it is removed. These can be carefully surgically removed with professional medical aid, or dug out hastily by the vampire (or someone else) on the spot. For a vampire to rip or cut silver out of their body on the spot, they must take an action and cause 1 Penetrative Damage to themselves to remove a single piece, or 2 Penetrative Damage to remove every piece at once in the case of multiple pieces, such as silver shotgun pellets.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] This damage is not reduced by their innate damage reduction, the values present already account for that.

Nasal Sensitivity

Vampires must have “Nasal Sensitivity" somewhere on their Tiers of Fear. Strong-scented herbs, such as garlic, onions, spices, etc. overwhelm the vampire’s keen sense of smell and they will usually attempt to avoid these scents when possible, though it does not damage them.[1]

One per Scene, upon breathing in or tasting these or similar strong-scented herbs will prompt a Nasal Sensitivity Composure check.[1][2]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Remember, vampires only need to breathe for the purposes of smelling and talking.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] Having something to put over their nose and mouth when they breathe, such as a handkerchief, may serve as a comforting factor for this Composure roll, or just negate the need for it altogether if the scent is not particularly strong.

Sometimes it is as simple as not breathing, but more aggressive irritants, such as pepper spray or tear gas will be extremely effective against a vampire regardless. Irritant weapons will immediately impose a (Superficial) Injury roll upon vampires, regardless of actual damage done. The result of this Injury roll will always count as one degree of success lower than the actual result.

There is a silver lining to a vampire’s hypersensitivities. They have a Base bonus to any Senses roll involving taste or smell based on the severity of their Nasal Sensitivity. 

The Base modifier for taste and smell based Senses rolls is as follows:

Nasal Sensitivity -3 = +7 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity -2 = +6 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity -1 = +5 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity +0 = +4 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity +1 = +3 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity +2 = +2 Base Bonus 

Nasal Sensitivity +3 = +1 Base Bonus 

If the vampire is an NPC, consider them to have a +4 Base bonus. Breathing in or tasting strong-scented herbs or spices will cost them -1 Morale, and being sprayed with irritant weapons will cost them -2 Morale.

Religious Iconography and Holy Grounds

A vampire must have “Religious Iconography” and “Holy Grounds” as separate entries at some rank on their Tiers of Fear.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] This weakness does not necessarily mean they have renounced or turned against their religion, often quite the opposite.

The vampire does not need to make a Composure check just from seeing or touching a holy symbol. However, if someone hides behind a symbol of their faith from the vampire, and the vampire attacks or otherwise physically harms them regardless, then the vampire must make the Religious Iconography Composure check.[1][2][3][4][5] 

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] If a vampire attacks someone and only finds the symbol afterwards, this still calls for a Composure check.

[1.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] The holy symbol does not literally have to be brandished for it to make the vampire reconsider harming someone. A visible cross necklace, or a cross hanging on the wall above a potential victim’s bed would also be sufficient.

[1.2.  Off to the side in the final formatting] Audible prayer, or gestures such as the sign of the cross, may also be considered “holy symbols” for the purposes of this rule.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting.] It is up to the vampire whether the particular culture or religion of the holy symbol counts as a Comforting Factor or not.

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] Some vampires who have just woken up may not be fully up-to-date on their holy symbols. For instance, the Star of David only became a definitive symbol of Judaism during the Holocaust.

[4 off to the side in the final formatting] For defining what does and does not count as a “holy symbol”, simply ask “Would you kneel and pray before it?” Do two yardstick or fireplace pokers laid across each other count as a cross? Would you pray before them? Perhaps the answer lies in how desperate you are. 

[5 off to the side in the final formatting] They have been 'alive' for hundreds of years, and no punishment has come for them, but what kind of a world are they creating if they devour someone who has nothing to protect them but their faith? Don’t they want faith to be an aegis, a safe refuge? 

[5.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Do they fear the crucifix as they fear punishment from God, or do they fear a world where not even God protects the meek and helpless? 

[5.2. Off to the side in the final formatting] Don’t they want faith to save them? 

If a vampire knowingly intrudes upon holy/consecrated grounds, they must make a Holy Grounds Composure check.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Holy ground that has been desecrated in some way may reduce the penalty on a vampire’s Composure Roll. In other cases, the sight of holy ground being desecrated may be distressing enough to the vampire to negate any “comforting factor.”

If the vampire is an NPC, then seeking protection from a holy symbol is considered to lower Morale by -2. (This only works once per encounter.) A vampire investigator can also make a Social Cues roll to determine if a victim hiding behind a holy symbol really has faith in the symbol to protect them. If the vampire can be confident that they do not, this can count as a “comforting factor” for the purposes of Composure Rolls. If an investigator is hiding behind a holy symbol from an NPC vampire, and they do not have any actual faith in the holy symbol, they must make a Manipulate Roll to at least look like they do. If it is a Failure, the vampire will be able to tell, and the symbol will reduce their morale by one less point.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] A vampire can tell when you are smugly using their own faith against them. 

Intruding

Vampires must have “Intruding” somewhere on their Tiers of Fear. Vampires posses a neurotic, compulsive respect for others’ privacy and the sanctity of their home, a deep-seated feeling of not belonging or being unwanted, a desire to make the sport fair, or all of the above.[1] They will not willingly enter a private residence without a direct invitation from the residents.[2] The vampire knowingly entering a private residence uninvited prompts an Intruding Composure roll. If the vampire is directly told to leave a residence by a resident, failure to do so will also prompt an Intruding Composure roll.[3][4][5]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] It is possible that their centuries of consciousness has given them certain irrational hangups regarding etiquette, or it is possible that they want there to be a space of safe refuge for each person somewhere on Earth. Maybe they’re just accustomed to being the last thing anyone ever wants to see. 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] In the case of rented private residences, it is up to the vampire’s opinion whether a landlord, renter, or both has the authority to invite them in. In the case of hotel rooms, it is up to the vampire’s opinion if the resident, an employee, and/or the hotel owner has the authority to invite them in. (This only applies to the room, not the hotel lobby or halls.) 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] A “welcome” mat may serve as a comforting factor for this Composure roll if the vampire is pedantic enough, but not allow it to be bypassed entirely. 

[4  off to the side in the final formatting] Depending on the social awareness of the vampire in question, these invitations and uninvitations will often need to be clear and obvious, such as saying “Come in.” or “Get out!” Merely opening the door will not count as an invitation, and merely acting hostile or rude will rarely, if ever, count as an uninvitation.

[5 off to the side in the final formatting] It takes a very specific kind of person to become a vampire, and many elements of “vampirism” may actually be elements of them.

Running Water

When passing over any significant amount of running water, whether jumping, wading through, crossing a bridge, taking a boat, flying over, etc., a vampire risks becoming dizzy and disoriented. They must make a Reflexes roll.

Full Success: They are able to keep their bearings without issue.

Partial Success: They are affected badly enough to stumble, but not completely lose their bearings. This may lose them a Tick, or a movement action in combat.

Failure: The vampire loses their bearings completely and falls to the ground. This may lose them a Tick, or an entire turn in combat. In the worst case scenario, such as if they are wading through the water or crossing a narrow bridge with no guard rails, this may cause them to fall and become fully submerged in the water.

Crossing over still water, small sources of running water such as indoor plumbing, or walking around in a city that has a sewer system will not affect the vampire. Narrators should only call for this Reflexes roll when success or failure would actually affect or alter the situation.

The ocean will always count as running water.

Submersion in Water

If a vampire becomes completely submerged in water, they will cease to function completely, their body totally paralyzed. The vampire is considered debilitated and cannot take any action under these circumstances. They cannot drown, and will revive as soon as any part of themselves surfaces.

Vampires with a Composure level of 4 or more can move through water normally so long as they do not fully submerge at any point. Vampires with a Composure level of 3 or less are not buoyant, and sink, applying a -2 penalty to any roll to swim or keep themselves afloat.

Arithmomania

Either a result of hundreds of years of consciousness, or because they’re just like that, many vampires possess a compulsive need to know the quantity of large numbers of small objects, such as grains of rice, or even sand in extreme cases.[1] They must have “Ignorance of Quantity” somewhere on their Tiers of Fear. If the vampire is confronted with something like this, ignoring it will prompt an Ignorance of Quantity Composure roll. If they choose to count it, they must make a Paperwork roll. (Particularly large amounts of objects may take longer to count than listed below, up to the Narrator's discretion.)[2][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] In extreme cases where knowing the exact quantity isn’t humanly possible, this character is too smart to be stuck counting literally forever. If this character feels they must know the number of grains of sand on a beach, consider a Technology roll instead of a Paperwork roll as they use their phone to Internet search the approximate packing density of sand and the square footage of the beach they’re on.  

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] There is no need to give vampires the Arithmomania mundane Trait. 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] While numbers are the most documented, any particular vampire may have an entirely different obsessive compulsion. 

Full Success: They count it quickly enough to not disrupt what they were doing. 

Partial Success: They must spend one turn (or one Tick) counting and can do nothing else for the duration. 

Failure They must spend two turns (or two Ticks) counting and can do nothing else for the duration. 

Despite the drawbacks of this compulsion, the vampire has a +2 Contextual bonus to any rolls involving numbers or math (including those induced by their compulsion), such as a Paperwork roll to figure out if numbers in an account book add up or recognizing a pattern in a string of seemingly random numbers. In addition, when this bonus is applied to an Investigative roll, this character gets additional Investigation Points. They get more Investigation Points the more severe their compulsion, as noted below:

Ignorance of Quantity -3 = +6 Investigation Points 

Ignorance of Quantity -2 = +5 Investigation Points

Ignorance of Quantity -1 = +4 Investigation Points

Ignorance of Quantity +0 = +3 Investigation Points

Ignorance of Quantity +1 = +2 Investigation Points

Ignorance of Quantity +2 = +1 Investigation Points

Ignorance of Quantity +3 = +0 Investigation Points

Once per Scene, they also gain 1 Investigation Point each time they make note of the quantity of a set of objects.

If the vampire is an NPC, then consider ignoring countable objects to cost them -1 Morale. If they choose to count them, make them roll at +2.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] In south Louisiana, it is tradition to leave a colander or a cheese grater on your porch over night, so that if a vampire or loup-garou tries to approach, they will get distracted and be stuck counting all the holes until the sun chases them away in the morning.

[1.1 off to the side in the final formatting] but most vampires would think that’s pretty stupid, because they can just count the holes on one edge and then multiply.

Stakes

If any object, wooden or otherwise, is driven completely through and through a vampire’s heart, they will cease to function completely, their body totally paralyzed. The vampire is considered debilitated and cannot take *any* action under these circumstances.[1] This applies even if the heart is not currently in the vampire’s chest.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] This does not kill the vampire, turn them to dust, or anything of the sort.

The vampire will revive immediately as soon as the object is removed.

Light Sensitivity

For the purposes of flashbangs, add a +3 Contextual bonus to the resulting Senses roll for vampires.

How to Kill a Vampire For Good

Following these steps in the correct order may be able to permanently get rid of a vampire. 

Drive a long object, wooden or otherwise, through and through the vampire’s heart to paralyze them. 

Decapitate the vampire while they are still paralyzed. 

Incinerate both the severed head and the body in separate fires–careful, if the stake is made of wood, it may burn up before the body does, rendering the vampire able to move again even if they are decapitated. 

Mix the resulting ashes from both fires with blessed water. 

If possible, have blood relatives of the vampire in question drink the ashes with the water. There is still no guarantee that following these steps will permanently prevent a vampire’s return, but following through to the last step will give the best possible chance of destroying them for good. 

To determine if a vampire will return, the Narrator should roll a hidden D6, adding a +1 modifier for each of the above steps that were completed. Subtract -2 if the steps were not done in exactly the sequence listed above. On a result of 8 or more, the vampire will not return. 

Misc. Tells

Spectral

The higher a vampire’s Composure, the more “normal” and biological they will seem, with more flushed and warmer skin, and even often a real heartbeat.

The lower a vampire’s Composure, the more spectral, palled, cold, and sometimes even “fuzzy” they will seem. Touching them may even have the tiniest bit of give, as if one could phase right through them with enough pressure, and may evoke the feeling of touching a CRT screen. The vampire themselves will experience physical numbness.

Vampires are likely to express mild discomfort in colder environments, unless they have recently inundated themselves with warm blood.

Eyes

While normal at first glance, under low-light conditions, a vampire’s eyes reflect red light with a shine not unlike those of an animal.

Vampires also have no need to blink, and will often forget to unless they are consciously thinking to do it.

Fangs

A vampire’s fangs are growing out at a constant rate, and must be filed down to a manageable size every few months or so. Larger fangs are quite easy to spot for anyone looking at the vampire’s mouth, especially when they speak. Vampires will often cover their mouths when they speak directly at someone, disguising it as scratching their nose or some other innocuous action.[2] Of course, they could also easily pass them off as well-made dental prosthetics.[1][3]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] What, did you think they were a real vampire? 

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] The vampire’s player should mention this in descriptions but not draw too much emphasis to it.

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] Some vampires may not have fangs. The question isn’t why they don't, but why others do.

Additionally, the fangs can make it quite hard to pronounce TH and W sounds. 

Reflections and Photography

Neither vampires, nor objects on their person considered assimilated, appear in any sort of reflection nor in analogue photography. Items that are not assimilated will appear to float in mid air in reflections and analogue photography.

Vampires do appear in digital imaging, but facial recognition and other image analysis software will not be able to detect or identify them.

Electromagnetic Field

Vampires seem to produce an exceptionally strong electromagnetic field. It is not enough to severely damage most modern electronics, but it would make an EMF detector go off immediately.[1][2]

[1 off to the side in final formatting] Some experts claim that the vampire in fact is this electromagnetic field, and the person one sees while looking at the vampire is a hallucination brought on by this field’s effect on the human brain.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires often struggle with touch screen devices, and not just because they’re old. They tend to prefer physical buttons.

Shadows

Vampires, and anything they have assimilated, do not cast shadows from most artificial light, such as flashlights and ceiling lights, but do cast shadows from sunlight and moonlight. Sometimes, regardless of their current manifestation, a vampire’s shadow will be that of the Monstrous Beast manifestation. 

Gaunt Appearance

Vampires usually, but not always, appear as a ‘snapshot’ of themselves upon death. Therefore, it is not uncommon for vampires to appear gaunt, emaciated, or otherwise unhealthy, though the degree may be subjective to the viewer.[1] Vampires who were missing body parts for a significant amount of time in life will still be missing them in death.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Vampires are subjective. 

Animals

When a vampire encounters animals of any degree of intelligence, the Narrator will roll a hidden D6. If 1: The animal will react with extreme fear and hostility towards the vampire, though will likely be afraid to outright attack. If 2-5: The animal will not distinguish between the vampire and a normal person. If 6: The animal will be unable to perceive the vampire at all. 

Exact Orientation

When not debilitated by a weakness, vampires may sometimes accidentally “orient” themselves to surfaces that they do not need to, such that they will appear to be standing at a slight angle on slopes surfaces while everyone else is standing directly up. This is often hardly noticeable, and the steeper the slope, the more likely the vampire is to catch themselves and stand “correctly.”

[tlbodine]

Stuck? Try junebugging.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we're 5 days into nanowrimo so maybe this will be helpful.

Do you want the safety and surety of knowing what happens next in your story but can't stick to an outline? Does knowing in advance what will happen suck the joy out of discovery writing? Do you try to wing it through plots but get tangled in plot holes or have a story that runs out of steam because you can't figure out what went wrong? Are you at your most creative when you have a little bit of guidance? Do you tend to under-write? Do you get ideas in your head for random scenes and snippets that drop from the sky without context?

If any of these apply to you, junebugging a draft might be for you!

What Is Junebugging?

Since you're on Tumblr, you might already be familiar with the concept of junebugging as it relates to cleaning. If not -- I think the idea was first introduced to me by @jumpingjacktrash.

The basic idea is that you tackle cleaning by way of controlled chaos. You pick a specific area you want to focus on, like your kitchen sink, and then wander off to deal with other things as they occur to you, but always returning back to that area. You end up cleaning a little bit at a time in an order that may not make sense to an outsider but which keeps you from getting overwhelmed and discouraged.

How Does Junebugging Work in Writing?

OK, so that's great, but how does this work with writing? Well. In my case, the general idea is to jump between writing linearly, outlining, and writing out of order. It usually looks something like:

Start free-writing a scene, feeling my way through it and enjoying the discovery process.

Thinking, ok, now I have this scene, did anything need to happen to lead up to it? Do I need to go back and add some foreshadowing? Does this scene set anything up that needs to be paid off? And then jump forward/back to make those adjustments.

I'll usually have a bunch of disconnected ideas of ideas that have popped into my head, so I'll write those down in a list somewhere and then try to figure out what goes in between them and what order it goes in.

I'll write what I call "micro-scenes" which is where I'll just sketch out a few essential elements of what's going on without worrying too much about details, description, etc. -- just he did this, she said that, the setting was this, real bare-bones script. Then I can come back through and flesh out each of those microscenes into an actual scene later.

Got a story that has a complex structure? No problem. Write through each storyline one at a time and then chop them up and weave them together afterward. Write all the B plot scenes first then come back through to do A plot and C plot. Move the pieces around like legos. No one ever has to know.

This method works for me because I can't "decide" story elements in advance. I have never been able to just sit down and "figure out" what happens in a story beyond a couple steps ahead -- I have to discovery-write my way forward. But at the same time, that gets really daunting. So I zoom forward with micro-scenes, roughing out the beats in the most bare-bones way possible, then when I run out of clear vision for what happens next I backtrack, flesh out those scenes, build in connective tissue, etc. and by then I will probably find more inspiration to jump forward.

It's basically folding drafting, outlining, and revising all together into a single phase of writing, which is chaotic and goes against everything people teach you, but if it works? then it fuckin works.

Anyway, sorry for the jumbled-up post, I'm dashing this off quickly while I heat up a pizza and I'm about to dive back into my WIP -- but I hope this was a little helpful. If nothing else, take this as my blanket permission that it's 100% OK to jump around, write out of order, write messy, outline sometimes, pants sometimes, and do whatever else it takes just to get through the story. You've got this. Good luck.