#this probably wont happen for another month
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Stanford!art as a secret admirer pleaaaaase
hiii! sorry this took me literally a month to finish i am still not very good at keeping a drabble a drabble and this one really got away from me but i promise in the future that hopefully wont be the case....anywhoo! enjoy! (ty for being my first request ever!) also shoutout to diya for helping me a bit with characterizing art having a crush on someone! mwah!
admittedly, art felt like a creep. not enough to stop sneaking glances at you across the lecture hall but definitely enough to feel hot shame crawl up his neck whenever you would accidentally meet his eye contact.
he quickly glanced away and stared back at the blackboard, trying to pretend that's what he had been looking at all along.
he began fiddling with his pen, pushing the plastic end of it nervously against his lips. he could feel your eyes on him for a few moments longer before turning back around to face the professor.
great. now you probably actually thought he was a creep. which is not exactly how he planned your first form of contact to go.
...alright, to be fair, he never had an exact plan in the first place? but "make awkward eye contact" wouldn't have been a part of it. that's for sure.
he was a little out of his element here. stanford was a hell of a lot bigger than mark rebellato was.
back there, most of the girls knew him, sometimes even liked him already or he had patrick as his wingman. (or when it came to tashi, competition.) but here? he felt so unsure all of a sudden. it felt like all of the experience he had with dating seemed completely useless.
when he first saw you, he was still pretty infatuated with tashi. but that doesnt mean he didnt notice how hot you were. as more time passed the more he realized that tashi and patrick were apprently locked in (go figure the dude finally learns commitment just in time. read bitterness.) and the more he saw you, the more he heard you talk in class, the more he saw you laugh with your friends, the more you wouldnt leave his mind. not to mention how fucking smart you were. well, are.
the lecture ended and as always you were one of the first people out the door. you were always in a rush. or maybe you just had another class all the way on the other side of campus?
he wondered what your major was. he wondered if you knew he played tennis. he wondered if it would even impress you if you found out. he hoped it would.
---
art was sitting in the cafeteria stabbing his fork into his salad that consisted of like 70% veggies and 30% eggs.
he had to say, he was definitely getting sick of eggs at this point. he took a small sip of his gatorade.
usually, he drank blue, but he decided to try red today. maybe because it was patrick's favorite flavor or maybe because he needed at least a little change in routine.
unfortunately, as he went to place the bottle back down on the table, he almost knocked it over as soon as he suddenly noticed you standing by the vending machine. and then turning around. and.. walking towards him? holy shit.
at first, he thought you would just walk past him, but you stopped at his table. he didn't know if he believed in god, but at that moment, he certainly felt like a favorite.
"hey," you smiled politely, "sorry to bother you, but do you happen to have a quarter? that thing doesn't seem to take nickles." you nodded your head towards the vending machine at the entrance of the cafeteria.
"uh." his brain tried to play catch up. "um, yeah, let me check." he let out a small chuckle so he wouldn't sound so nervous, but it sounded more like he was wheezing. he pulled out his wallet, ripped apart the velcro, and checked. he silently celebrated when he noticed he did, in fact, have a few quarters. "yeah, how many do you need?" he looked up at you. his cheeks felt hot.
"oh, just one is fine." he nods, and suddenly, in front of your presence, it seems a lot harder to properly grab the quarter from his wallet. he does manage, though, and as he hands it to you, he feels your fingers brush against his palm.
as if transferred from your fingertips to his palm it felt like a surge went through his body, traveling through his arteries and sparking at the tips of his fingers and toes. you hand him your nickels in exchange. before you could turn to leave, he quickly interjected, "we're in the same class, right? english literature?"
he didnt know where he was going with this, he just wanted to keep talking to you.
your eyes flashed with recognition.
"oh, yeah! art, right? you sit behind me?" you knew his name. "yeah, yeah, that's right." he nodded, his fingers drummed against the table. there was a short lull in the conversation as he desperately tried to grasp for anything to talk about that wouldn't seem like he was hitting on you (even though he kind of was.)
"so, uh, this is actually good timing because i've been sorta meaning to talk to you anyway?" his lips pulled into a familiar charming lopsided smile.
"oh, really?" you tilted your head. "yeah." he nodded, his hand going to fidget with curls on the back of his neck that stuck out of his backwards cap.
"i, uh, need some help with some of the material, and, you know, you're so good-"
"oh, i'm not that-"
"nah, c'mon no need to be modest," there's that grin again, "i don't think i've ever seen you get a question wrong."
you huff, feeling embarrassed at the unexpected praise, "well, it's literature, so it's all interpretation, it's hard to be outright wrong."
"see, that answer just confirms it." he says.
you chuckle, finally giving in and accepting the compliment. "so..you want my help then?" he nods. he really prayed you would say yes because this was really his only plan on how to get to know you.
you mulled over it for a few seconds. then you nodded. "yeah, okay, let me give you my number and we can figure out the details later. i got another class in like-" you glanced back at the clock, "shit, 3 minutes."
you hastily ripped a piece of paper out of your notebook scribbled a number on it and left it on the table. "oh, and thanks for the quarter!" you yelled back (even though you didn't even get to use it) before booking it out of the cafeteria. guess he was right about you always being in a rush.
---
4:58 pm. 2 more minutes till you'd knock at his door. art did another once over of his room. now he wasn't exactly a messy guy but he had to admit his dorm had never been this clean before. actually maybe it was too clean...would you think that was weird? like would you think he was a neatfreak? girls probably weren't into that.
he began messing up his bedsheets just a little so it wouldnt look like he had just spent the past three hours obsessively cleaning every inch of his dorm. even though thats exactly what he did.
it was a pretty small room but you'd be surprised how long it can take to clean if you're doing a real deep clean. not to mention the pain in the ass that doing laundry in college was.
he did all of this because, keeping true to your word, you did make plans with him to help him out with some of the reading.
you : does 5pm on saturday work 4 u?? :-)
art : Yeah, I'm totally free!!
(in hindsight the two exclamation points were probably a bit much.)
just as he was about to check out his hair for the 5th time today, there was a knock on the door. he glanced at the little digital watch on his wrist. 5pm sharp. wow, you were punctual. was it weird that he found that hot?
art quickly brushes a few unruly curls that were sticking out of his backwards cap away with his fingers before moving to open the door.
---
"so, what's the exact stuff you're having trouble with?" you peered at him from his bed, which you were sitting on, which he was being very cool about.
you had asked him if it was okay to sit there after you had exchanged a few pleasantries and then chatted for about 10 minutes.
it was mostly about class at first, then turned into more personal topics. you asked him if he was on the tennis team, because of all the..well..tennis gear in his room.
he nodded and told you about his tennis scholarship. you chuckled and said you had never really watched any matches at stanford so far, but you'd like to see him play.
he really tried to not seem overly enthusiastic about that but he did tell you the exact time and date of his next match.
apparently, you thought the sport seemed "really impressive". ( i.e. you were impressed. i.e. you were impressed by him playing tennis. or that's at least how he heard it.)
then, after he found out you were an english major, which wasn't a surprise, you finally brought up the topic of studying.
he spun in his desk chair, to face you.
"just some of this..interpretive stuff...i feel like i never know what the professor wants to hear from me." he tapped the end of his pen against the book he was holding. "well.." you shifted into a cross-legged postion, you were wearing shorts and he was trying really hard not to stare at your legs.
"you probably shouldnt be thinking about that in the first place, you know, what the professor wants to hear? you should think about what you actually got from the book." he knew this was pretty standard advice but when you said it, it sounded like the most intelligent, world-changing thing he'd ever heard.
"riiight...what if i didnt get anything from it?" he smiled sheepishly, leaning his head on his hand. you scrunched up your nose and playfully rolled your eyes, "oh, come on, how can you read classic literature and not get anything from it? i don't believe that."
you scooted forward a little. a little closer to him. a nervous chuckle left his lips, his gaze swept back and forth between you and the book before settling on you.
truth be told, he was doing fine, at least grade-wise, and even if he wasn't, it wasn't like he was striving to become an english professor, he mostly decided to take this class on a whim. but the part about struggling with interpretations was true, it just maybe wasn't necessarily a dire enough situation to require your help...
"well, maybe youre not asking yourself the right questions before you read." you hummed, gently tapping your finger against your leg. "can i see your notes?"
art panicked a bit at that. he wasn't sure why, but suddenly someone looking at his notes felt oddly intimate. you would be able to read the bits and parts of the book he regarded as important enough to jot down. what he liked. what he didn't like. perhaps it was a little intimate.
he tried to play it casual, though, and nodded as he handed you his english lit folder. his nerves only got worse the longer you took to read through them.
then suddenly, you smiled and nodded a little bit before looking up at him again. he prayed that you couldn't see the way his heart was trying to escape his ribcage right now.
"you know, you couldve just asked me out."
before his brain could even process that sentence, his mouth seemed to go into immediate action to splutter out some kind of denial in order to salvage this, "what? i- no, no, that's not- i mean, seriously why would-"
"i mean, i wouldn't have said no. like you didn't have to pretend to need my help. you clearly don't need it-" you gently tossed his folder back onto the desk. "-plus you're cute."
he didn't move for a good few seconds until he finally caught up to what had just happened.
now, this would've been the moment where he would've liked to be really cool and smooth in his response, but instead what happened was: "um..so then are we..like are you.."
in his defense you kind of caught him off guard. like completely. he had had a plan. how the study sessions would transition into friendship, and then maybe, hopefully at some point would transition into dating. he was a patient guy, really, and you had just skipped like...everything.
"are you free tomorrow?" you asked, as you stood up to grab your bag. wow, you were really taking the wheel at this point. and he discovered that he had shockingly little problem with that.
"uh, yeah, yeah i'm free..like all day." he did have training in the morning but he truly would skip it just this once if it came down to it.
"2pm?"
"sure."
"i'll text you?"
"okay."
"so..it's a date?"
you had stood up from the bed and were suddenly already on your way out. probably because you could tell he needed a minute.
"yeah, a date." he nodded with a (almost lovestruck) smile he hadn't even noticed had snuck its way unto his lips. you reciprocated with an equally excited grin, "cool."
before he knew it, the door had clicked shut, and he was alone again. he felt warm.
"cool."
#also i didnt exactly proof read this so i might go back later and edit#ALSO YES the childhood bsf art donaldson fic is coming ive just hit a bit of a writers block with that one in particular#so i might write other stuff first#but trust i will finish it#challengers#art donaldson#art donaldson x reader#challengers x reader#challengers fic#challengers x you#art donaldson x you#ames writes~!
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More details:
They'd probably end up being between 6-8ish inches tall shelf sitters similar to these*
that i made for friends last year, except better and not on a 3 day time crunch
details like horns, wings, spots/stripes, manes would be fine, along with minor changes like ear size/shape. clothes negotiable but would cost more.
*made with someone else's animal crossing pattern that i ended up HATING as far as actually sewing went, so they wouldnt be exactly like that
who'd be interested in getting a cheap (im thinking $25 plus shipping) plushie commision from me in the future?
i wanna start pattern testing my own designs once i get my sewing space unpacked but it gets boring doing the same blank plushie form over and over, so doing someone else's pets or fursonas or furry/creature ocs would be a fun way to mix it up
theyd be made of felt and pretty small to keep costs down so pretty much display-only pieces, and i couldnt guarantee exact color matching without having to charge extra for dye
#night time reblob#this probably wont happen for another month#but ive been thinking of opening up plushie comms since early this year#i just wanted to wait until i finally moved#wish i got better pics of those 2#i ended up breaking up the furline more after that#and the glue wasnt as obvious after it dried more#the cat pattern was all right but the dog...#they already have weird bean heads in the game#but that thang ballooned as soon as i turned it
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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help me my mom is shipping me with some random chinese man whom i helped buying tickets
#it's crazy. knowing english and helping random foreigners is my passion#also so many things happening. i should write that fucking article when i get home lmfao#if my laptop wont fail me (i think she's fine now????? hopefully????)#but also like. I'll get to that tomorrow probably.#you know what i wanna do? if my laptop wont fail me i wanna play my fuckin game lmao#but idk if i should or if i will have time when i get home etc etc#also one more thing i look so freaking ugly in biometric photos im gonna sjjsnsndhdhfhhf#anyway if it works out i will have another photo next year so im trying not to let it get to me lmao#alsoooo just yesterday got accepted by a school in finland and today got a reply from one in germany#and they want me to take an exam in july lmao???? girl how tf will i get a visa etc with that timeline#anyway. ughhhhhh so many things happening etc#i wonder how my next months will be like. ok bys#bye*#🗒
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holy shit change of plan. no more fucking around this month I have been asked to be Back on My Bullshit
#bakuspeech#and by that I mean: Raph is calling me back to draw another character card for The Zone RPG#FAQ: will this have consequences on my hands? probably yeah#am I going to do it? yeah#what does this mean for the ink stuff? well. Im gonna be honest with you guys. thats gonna have to be next month#after this one I will need a Serious break for my hands. so I wont be drawing digitally for a while after anyway#lol I think the world is conspiring to force me to write for three months again. this happened last year also remember those three months#well! whatever will come will come. and what's arrived now is This. and listen. no way in hell am I letting this one go#I saw the full character spread. its pretty fucking good. and now there are More#so uh! thats what happened to me on this evening. and thats the plan for at least the rest of the month#see u guys on the other side! thank u for hangin out with me thru the last over a year of insane baku art turbulences#have a good mermay eat a fish and be wet
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distinct possibility that things are going to start to get very bad for me in a few days because of medication reasons </3
#zeph posting#my birth control refill got denied bc i hadnt had an appointment in too long but i had no idea about that ahead of time#and i just took my last dose#i scheduled an appointment and the guy says they probably will do another refill since its a few weeks out#but! its not a sure thing#and i wont know until at the latest thursday#and so !#this is the thing that keeps my mental health stable even moreso than the mood stabalizer#and also makes sure my physical health doesnt get horrifically worse for like 10 days a month#over 10 bc i have to recover too#so ill either be fine! or have to wait until like january 15th before i feel okay again#this is very bad to happen at christmas bc i have to be around people and do things#so i just. god if they dont give me a refill#if u see me say im posting from the ER after christmas its bc i dont have them and got suicidal </3
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its nothing a couple ibuprofen and a joint and three energy drinks and a 50 mg edible and two hours straight of head and a drinking binge and more weed and a broken arm and getting the shit beat out of me and some opiates and getting my back blown out and another joint and a bullet to the back of the head wont fix .
#my fucking stomach hurts and i cant tell if its 1) eating badly 2) eating At All and my body being angry about it or#3) Shark Week.#and if its the latter i might full on [REDACTED] because ive been back on t for more than a month now#and my body should have Gotten The Fucking Message#every time it feels like things are kind of okay Another Fucking Event Happens and im just so tired and anxious about money#And I Still Have To Call My Insurance And Set Up A Time To Take The Car In To Get Fixed.#And Pay For That. And The Rental I’ll Need In The Interim. And I Have To Pay For The Insurance Itself. And Groceries. And Plane Tickets. And#listen someone beating the fuck out of me probably wont solve anything. arguably it would probably make things worse because hospital bills.#but it might get me out of work ! so i still think we should try it#taking applications
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wth why would i suddenly not be able to watch a live stream on youtube? i dont think its an adblocker thing? i was watching a different live stream like 2 hours ago, i can watch regular videos and vods. but now when i bring up a stream it just goes gray and says "Your browser cant play this video". never seen this and having a hard time finding an answer online that is about a live stream, everything so far is for videos that dont work for anyone else either
#tried to bring it up on my tablet but that just didnt load the page at all like its not connected to the internet but it is#but i can watch the stream just fine on my phone on mobile firefox#weird. really really weird.#like i even had the tab up earlier while waiting for it to start. but then the extension to put tabs to sleep put it to sleep and#when i went back suddenly this is happening on all livestreams ive checked#opened in a different tab group and private mode. same problem#chat still works tho lol#maybe i'll try turning off the tab sleep ext?? hmm#my phone's at like 32% but also its after midnight so i probably wont watch the whole stream#(i say like i dont end up watching full streams everytime i go ''i'll just watch for a few minutes''#and also octavio is so adorable and funny and he's making a puppet that is already cursed)#anyway i'll either keep looking online or trying turning off that other extension or ill give up and just plug in my phone haha#eta: hey hey... guess..... guess what i did.... i watched that whole stream....#and then another hour long one after it..... this is why i didnt watch live streams for so long#i cant just watch ''for a few minutes''#then a few months ago i got sucked into the tempus rabbit hole and look where i am now#tanking my sleep schedule once again it is 3am -.-
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having one of those nothing’s happened but i feel like they’re gonna do something that’ll piss me off so i’m preparing myself for the fight that may or may not happen moments. yk?
#about the friend i complained about months back…#were supposed to go to this festival tomorrow but he was out real late last night#and ik him he isn’t going to wake up till really late today bc of it#he probably has school work and wont be able to go to the festival and i’m gonna get upset#bc like bitch when tf am i gonna see you!!!!#i was ranting to one of my other friends about this and she was like i don’t fuck with him anymore#i caught myself about to say well bc i only talk about the bad things!#which is the same logic another friend used for her shitty boyfriend…. we’ll see what happens#PlumPrattles
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good morning everyone, I am experiencing the Horrors again!
#shut up river#something something greece holding a second round of elections because <50% of votes for a party means it cant form a gonv on its own#kind of- oversimplifying it. but chances are the results wont change anyway and well be stuck with diet fascists for another 4 years#also. dysphoria has been atrocious. have been overall miserable the entire month#and not to overshare on the antisocial media platform but the doc thats supposed to be helping get my transition happen is MOTHERFUCKING-#GHOSTING ME. And oh it's actually not even the first time a psych has done that. but it's especially insulting here#because the bastard KNOWS im hanging by a thread. I DONT HAVE THE MONEY TO GREASE YOUR POCKETS YOU DUMB FUCK JUST GIVE ME MY MEDS#sorry yeah. ill probably delete this after I actually sleep for the day.#shits bad. hope yall are doing better than me <3
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I'm taking my first week off from exercise (excluding my recovery from surgery and bizarre two month illness), and it's because of an injury lmfao. Does this count as a week off or is it mandatory rest?
#NOTE: i do a deload week starting from right before until right after my period#so it's not like i dont work in rest#i also have 2 rest days every week (nonconsecutive) and two half days due to my residual fatigue#(which may be from the illness but who fucking knows. i need to see an endocrinologist bc no one else has been able to help me yet)#(i would say that it could be poor nutrition but my blood tests have all been fine aside from my wbc#which was always a little high. probably bc of my allergies but apparently it could also be due to the tooth that i need#a crown on lmfao#might have to get it removeeeedddddd!! <<this all happened bc of covid. a filling from my dogshit old dentist popped out right#before everything closed#and none of the dentists around me were taking new patients#then after i finally got a root canal i couldnt get a crown bc of reasons im not getting into so i dont accidentally doxx myself lol#and now another fillung from my old dogshit dentist popped out and i had to wait 2 years to get it filled#and a third filling from my dogshit dentist popped out and i had to wait a year to get it filled#so i might have to get ANOTHER root canal -_-#this is what i get for not taking care of myself due to 10 years of horrible depression#but im getting my teeth fixed and a cleaning#so i should get a nice reset!#i wont be able to.fix the damage done to my gums already but ive been diligent in brushing and flossing for the past 2 years#and i started showering regularly since last summer!! and even more often during summer months!!!!! so I'm doing great :D)
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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wait williams been decomposing since the first time he died?? oh hes got plenty of time hes fine
#my post#pdlb#iam talking about human decomposition in the tags. warning u incase u dont want to see ->#its been at least 18 months since then. maybe more#and hes only JUST showing signs of livor mortis???#girl thats supposed to happen within HOURS#i feel like theyd have said if williams eyeballs were expanding out of his head or if his body was bloating#so like. hes still VERY early on into this#if they find a way to fix him somehow even if they have to wait until they beat the trickster. hell be ok. he wont be bones or maggots#or honestly probably even actively decaying#hes surely got another year before even THAT happens
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Tally's just a liiiiittle bit fed up with my clinginess today
Can't help it tho. She's my baby.
#speculation nation#and i spent an hour in a panic spiral over her and then 5 more hours compartmentalizing and Not Thinking About It#she's fine though. just got a little sick this morning but she seems to be feeling better.#probably just ate smth she wasnt supposed to. it happens.#but ykno. i hesitate to throw around the word 'trauma' willy-nilly. considering it has a lot of weight to it.#but i really do think ive got some trauma due to the cat deaths.#how else would i explain me having a whole panic spiral over tally just throwing up?#it almost makes me wonder whether i should bother with more cats after them. but i know i couldnt live without them.#ive spent all but 3 years of my entire life living with cats. i cant live without them.#but after some untimely ends i am just... so fucking afraid.#tally's about 3 years old now. she should have plenty of life left to live.#but cassy wasnt even 2 years old. and look how that turned out.#i got young cats purposefully bc i didnt want to have to say goodbye to them for a While. and then i had to anyways.#and im always so fucking anxious that im going to have to again. constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#so when Anything happens i end up a total mess no matter how minor it is...#im sick of it. im so sick of the uncertainty. sick of being scared ill wake up one day to another cat dying.#and theres not really any way to make it better. days and weeks and months and hopefully years#just spent waiting for the other shoe to drop.#i just hope it wont come for a while still. so i can have at least a few years of peace.#animal death ment/#negative/#sorry for the vent etc etc im just. i wish i could bundle them up and keep them in my life forever.#but it doesnt work that way unfortunately. lifetime disparity really is so awful.
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Big's Perma Bulk!
(Community Requested Story, about me perma bulking) What's good bros! It's your favourite wish granting genie here to go on my own transformation journey. Normally I send this kind of thing off to another writer but a lot of you wanted me to be transformation using my own Genie gifts so I've waved my hands and started it off.
I made sure to completely forget about what you guys wanted for me to make it even more surprising but considering all you lot drool at a bicep vein I think I'm in good hands.
After waking up I definitely didn't have anything to worry about. I knew all of you just wanted me to become some big sweaty himbo. Just take a look.
Big arms, thick thighs and a solid chest. I won't lie if I were to make a choice I would of ended up so much bigger than this but hey, it's what you all wanted to I guess I gotta get used to being a himbo stud.
Woah...I guess day two was a little different. I'm a lot bigger ladz so cheers for that but damn, some of this definition is starting to fade. It looks like I'm sliding more to the tank side of the spectrum that the stud side. I'm pretty sure if I move wrong this tank is gonna split in too and my fucking stomach won't stop rumbling, every time I walk in my kitchen I down half a box of cereal, fuck, I should probably take a couple sandwiches back to my desk before I load up some games with the boys.
'BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPP'
aw fuck, sorry about that ladz but damn. I woke up this morning and my stomach feels so tight, it feels like my abs are about to split in half. My shorts are so tight around my ass.
Damn what the fuck did you guys wish to happen to me? A slab of muscle instead of abs is one thing but fuck my gut is so bloated, ah man
'UURRRRRRRRRRPP!!!'
whoops, sorry dudes, fuck this is so tight but I still feel hungry, maybe a protein shake and a bowl of rice wont gut, surely this can't get any tighter.
ahhh fuck what time is it? 3am?? why the fuck am I so hungry. I didn't even know it was possible to feel hungry and bloated at the same-
BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP
ah man, what do I have in the fridge, mmmmm half a pizza, well I'm sure a couple of slices won't hurt. I hit the gym pretty hard today, its probably my body wanting to fuel up. mmm yeah just 3 maybe 6 slices and I'll be good for the night, probably best to turn the light switch on so I don't make a mess...
w--what the fuck happened to me! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'M SO FUCKING BULKY, OH FUCK
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPP
DAMN....fuck well....at least it doesn't jiggle, probably just bloated from how much I've been eating recently, who knew having such big muscles would make me so hungry all the time...
hmmm, I probably shouldn't leave just 3 slices of pizza in the fridge on their, own, that's not even a snack, 9 slices is alright at this time of night yeah?
On the bright side, my muscles have continued to blow up to freakish size, my bicep is bigger than most dude's heads. On the other hand....I can't shift this tank around my mid section. I've been trying to eat less to get my abs back but fuck I can't help it, my stomach growls and I gotta eat enough to feed at least 3 people or else it feels like my stomach is gonna eat itself. It's okay, Ill just cut when summer rolls around, use this time to grow as big as I can, bet my abs will look fucking insane in a few months/
Guess the bright side is I can order that nice chocolate cake with my pizza tonight...I'm pretty sure it's cheat night tonight, or was it last night? hmm, no yeah it is definitely tonight?
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP
ah fuck, wh- UUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP
what happened - uurp - to me?
a few *hic* days ago I was a lean mean lifting machine
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPP
and now...fuck *hic* uuurp- I'm a big, bulky brute
fuu-UUUUUUUURPPPP-ck, my gut is so tight, moving feels like a chore....I'm so fuckin stuffed and hungry at the same time. Who knew my fans would want me to blow up into a 300lsb bulky beast...
damn...I need a shower but, I could really go for a double cheese burger and a snickers protein thick shake, I'm sure it can wait -uuurrpp- maybe I should grab a couple protein bars for the road..
BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!
I can still feel the spell under my skin, I wonder how much bigger these guys will make me, or what else they'll do...
#male transformation#muscle#muscle transformation#male tf#tf story#transformation#gay transformation#reality change#musk
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*spritzes Sanji with a water bottle* Down boy down! Leave those love handles alone!
A big factor in Zoro’s inability to lose this last bit of weight months and months later is just the general fact that pregnancy changes your body :d his fat distribution is different is all. Also doesn’t help that he most likely experienced quite a lot of stress that just made things harder that first year Sora was born. He’s still just as strong, nothing’s changed in that department, he did regular exercises that got more and more limited until he physically couldn’t do those exercises anymore. His stretch marks will probably fade more within a another couple years but probably wont be gone entirely, just faint lines—also I thought itd be funny to give him a mullet. But also its for good reason. It’s a physical indication that he isnt really paying attention to his needs, hes either just ignoring them or paying too much attention to Sora’s needs, which is reasonable, shes a toddler. Eventually hes forced to get a haircut, hes gotten into a better habit of taking care of his hygiene—still bathes once a week but hey at least hes using actual soap now that isnt 4 in 1 or plain water.
I think his weight and physical appearance would be a sore spot because this man has been training rigorously since he was like 10. Hes always had a very fit, sharp, toned body. He fully expected to have that body back shortly after giving birth and when that didnt happen in true Zoro fashion he tried to speed run his bedrest to train only a week postpartum. It didnt work out obviously, hes still human, hes still a slave to his body’s limitations. I think that now that hes back with the crew and sees that theyre fine with his own eye, hes far less stressed, and collaborating on a good dietary plan with both Chopper and Sanji would eventually produce the physique Zoro would prefer having (Chopper keeps saying he’s perfectly healthy this way, hes not underweight or overweight, that this is a common aftermath with pregnancy, but noooooo Zoro wont listen and is insistent that he wants the rest of this weight gone tomorrow) which wouldnt be what it was like before. The closest I can think of would be a typical body that Ive seen many wwe wrestlers have which is apparently called an endomorph body type? Either way, his body has changed, he has to really learn how to accept that because obviously he doesnt think too highly of his physical appearance in the comic above.
Also I went ham and gave him a mole on his tiddie that tbh I think Sanji likes to kiss :) ^3^
Anyway heres a cute bonus doodle of daddy-daughter workout!
#one piece#one piece fanart#zosan#zoro x sanji#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#one piece fankid#one piece oc#seahorse dad zoro#trans zoro
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