#this post wasn't supposed to be so long
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feelingpure · 11 months ago
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Fellow Travelers Rewatch Party | You're Wonderful
Favourite moment(s) or scene(s) of the episode
It's still the whole chicken noodle soup scenario, from Hawk's entrance up until the radio gets brought up. I like how it sets up their starting dynamic. And to link with that, the whole dynamic filp when “I wanna go to the party” happens. Tim's hones his seductress powers, and we get to see Hawk be the flustered one caught off guard for once.
I also really like the opening scenes 🥹 and the election night meeting and the 1st time at the Cozy Corner and and and–
Favourite quote/dialogue
There's so many too choose from 😭 I'm gonna list a few;
For funsies:
“I'm your boy, right?” - I mean, it's the blog title for a reason - the moment the tables turn. (I made an edit of this moment as a bit of episode appreciation, as suggested in the master series rewatch post 🫶)
“I'll spend the afternoon picturing you kneeling in prayer.”
For feelsies:
“When I committed this sin, I felt pure. More pure than I felt in my entire life. So how can I be sorry for it?”
“I want to hold you tonight. If you'll let me.” - it's just so 🥺
Something new you noticed after the rewatch
Joe Alsop is talking about turtle soup that smells like feet (but taste great) at his party. 👀 And Tim's just stood there, then the camera goes back and settles on Hawk in the background talking to Lucy and someone else. Tim's smile fades at first for a lil bit, but then he has this like sneaky smile when it goes back to him. Given what happened in the previous scene, it's very... 😈
And just some more of this bit, Tim then goes to grab a drink for Mary and as he's walking away we see Hawk tracking him with his eyes (and of course he then follows him). I knew the major beats at this party, but there were certain little things that I definitely did not pick up on before. 😆 (Probably too brrrrrrrr from the previous scene)
The MVP of the episode
I think I'm gonna have to go with 80s Tim, even though we only catch a glimpse of him. It's the decision he makes, to allow Hawk back in, that makes the rest of the 80s timeline possible. 🥲
You general thoughts on the episode
It just perfectly sets everything up for the rest of the series. There's so many bits of dialogue that calls back to things later on, or is just more interesting with them in mind. Also all the anticipation at the end, even when you already know the while story, some bits still had me holding my breath like an idiot hahah.
My main feelings coming out of episode 1 is just always wanting to protect 50s Tim at all costs. Though after seeing the whole show and softening on Hawk, I also wanna protect him; from himself. But yeah - screaming crying etc.
Thoughts on soundtrack of the episode
I'll spare you the essay about when each part the score comes up in the episode and how it makes me feel (😭), but it's just brilliant. Hawk's main theme at the election party, and Pull Them Off at Tim's apartment being notable.
The Waiting for Tim theme especially is just. 😚🤌 He's waiting for his call back at that cafe/diner in the 80s, while he was also waiting outside his apartment in the 50s, and it's just full of anticipation. 🥺
While you're here, go listen to the composer talk about this particular piece.
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cantdealwiththisnow · 8 months ago
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Part 1 - Appreciation post for all the TFP universe Autobot mugshot cameos (known and unknown) in RID2015 3x25 (even if the context is that they've been OUSTED against their will)
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sunderwight · 1 year ago
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had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure
SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...
which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!
Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments
bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain
oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!
and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.
what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten
so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion
SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?
Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!
luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene
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ask-the-rag-dolly · 6 months ago
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mod bee do is it does the will we is it posible so do you have an explanation for why you keep metaphorically and literally trying to kill this poor looser of a woman or were you just born like that
is she actually your favorite? I think I confused myself on that so now I don’t know. I’m asking to keep myself a framework for how Ragatha lovers treat her and how many of them give her psychological scarring
i think my favorite thing is seeing people get confused on whether i like ragatha or not . like yes - me creating a blog dedicated to me drawing her everyday , writing elaborate headcanons and unhinged essays on her , and rarely making posts of the other characters ... like i do not know how i could make this any clearer HSHF
but yes , she is my favorite ! i just have this thing called Being A Psychology Nerd where i get so curious about a character's brain to the point i try to unravel it - and unfortunately the effective way to do that is through psychological torment
in simpler words , i just enjoy her as a character so much that i try to explore all of it by ripping her stuffing out . i like how Disastrously Unhealthy her coping mechanisms are , how Little she sees of herself , and how she has one of the highest emotional walls despite being one of the most compassionate characters .
there's a lot of fun in throwing her in Situations where she's forced to let herself be helped , have her most vulnerable parts exposed , or lose it ! but coming out of it still trying to be Kind . even with how much jax mistreats her and how pomni left her for the exit , she still tries to get along with them .
nice characters are often seen as Boring in media and it feels like there's pressure for them to get mean or violent to be interesting ... i don't think ragatha needs any of that - i mean i want to see her lose it , but i also want to see her still being nice at the end of it all . or at least serve a verbal beatdown on someone's flaws and faults ( coughs at jax )
but that's my own reason ! i don't think it's that deep at the end of the day , it's just one way to show love for a character .
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thirdeyeblue · 6 months ago
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
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I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
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He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
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(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
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Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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plusultraetc · 5 months ago
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I ended up having way too many unfinished fics to choose from for Shinsou's birthday, none of which were ao3-ready, so have this extra long snippet of my beloved ice cream shop au that I've spent way too much time on for a fic that might never actually get posted 😭
(the context here is that Shinsou & Kaminari are trying to get erasermic together, but Kaminari didn't know he was trying to set his teacher up with the music store guy bc he's only heard about him from Shinsou)
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just-null · 1 year ago
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your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos
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IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.
I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.
MERRY OCTOBER YALL
[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]
[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]
OKAY LETS GO.
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Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..
But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.
Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.
That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.
Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.
He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?
Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.
Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.
Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.
Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.
Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”
You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.
The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.
It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.
The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...
Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.
And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.
If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.
He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!
Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!
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celestial-toys · 10 days ago
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That I Would Be Good [5/5]
Playing God
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What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?
What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?
Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?
Did God create us in their own image?
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In This Chapter
Things don’t go so well at the headquarters, and to say that you’re shaken up afterwards would be an understatement.
It’s time to get real.
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Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader
Word Count: 6,377
Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [mentions of food and eating] [self-loathing] [crying] [mild assault on a robot(?)] Lastly, I’m not sure what the right term is for this, but Reader experiences a stress-induced breakdown and amidst it, questions their perceived reality, and whether or not they’ve truly become delusional.
A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.
This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.
Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4] [Ch.5 (you are here)]
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That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.
Over the course of the weekend, Sun came back around to his usual self. Stumbling his way through an awkward, blunt apology, his internal conflict over your safety versus your privacy was obvious.
You might have forgiven him too easily, but that would be nothing new.
The… informative chat you’d had with Moon still played on your mind, but Sun mentioned nothing of it. So, if he felt compelled to elaborate—if he’d even been aware of the conversation at all—it could wait until the time felt right. You all had a more pressing matter to discuss anyway.
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“And what made you think I’d be amenable to the idea of parading myself around in front of a group of people that see me as nothing more than a lifeless machine?”
Sun levels you with a lidded stare from across the kitchen table.
“Well… I didn’t think you’d be amenable to it. That’s why I’m trying to ask far enough in advance that maybe… I can bring you around to it? And—for whatever it’s worth—they aren’t firmly in the non-believers camp, or they wouldn’t even be willing to attend.”
Sun’s attention moves over to Moon. “You’re really willing to go along with this?”
Moon sighs. “I mean, I’m looking forward to it just about as much as they are, but… yeah, I’m willing.”
“I don’t want to do this either, but… you know how hard it is for me to say no to my boss. Plus, it would certainly help me—us—remain in good standing with the company if we agree to do this.” You interject.
Zero parks herself beside Sun’s seat, laying her head across his thigh in a silent bid for attention. “Aren’t we supposed to be… like, ‘laying low’ anyways? What happened to that plan? You know I’m not keen on being the flagship model for sentient AI. Why do I even need to attend? Isn’t one of us enough?” His left hand leaves the table, reaching down and idly petting the patient creature on his lap.
“We are still laying low. They’re—they still have no plans on requesting that I go public with you two.” You sigh. “This wouldn’t be a public event, just a private Q&A with a small group of… skeptics from within the industry. It’s a confidential thing.”
“That still doesn’t tell me why I need to attend.”
“You don’t have to. But it would definitely help our case to have both of you there. Proving that what I did is replicable, and not just some one-off accident, would strengthen our case.”
He scoffs. “Is it replicable, though?” He gestures to Moon. “You trained us in tandem but we still developed quite differently from one another.”
You nod. “I think that that only serves as further proof that you aren’t just… ‘convincing imitations’. The fact that you branched off in different directions, and even broke away from your initial personalities, is less of a failure in my eyes and more proof that you became your own people. Once you started gaining sentience—as you do love to remind me, Sunny—I quickly lost control over your development.” You poke thoughtfully at your dinner. “I’m just lucky that I instilled enough morals within you in the early days, or God only knows what you could’ve become…”
Sun’s face lights up in exaggerated shock, voice full of sarcasm. “Murderers? Would—would we have gotten so caught up in our ‘superiority’ and ‘innate desire for power and control’ that we would’ve overtook you—nay, the entire headquarters—nay, the entire world?!” He drops the act as quickly as he’d put it on, manifesting pupils just to roll his eyes, voice returning to his usual flat tone. “No. No… I think that urge to dominate and control is something far more human.”
You laugh a bit, nodding. “Yeah, no… accidentally starting a sentient robotic uprising wasn’t what I feared. … Well. Mostly.” You take another bite of your meal, commenting to Moon through a mouthful of food. “This is really good, you know?”
The lunar bot beams with pride. “Thank you!”
You nod, swallowing before countering him with a “No, thank you.” and returning your focus to the topic at hand. “I was far more afraid that you’d turn out… bigoted.”
They both hum in understanding.
“More rudimentary AI does have a history of that, doesn’t it…” Moon pondered.
You nod. “Humans create life in their own image, and impart their morals onto it accordingly. In the same way that bigotry can fester in closed-off communities and echo-chambers, it can easily influence any form of artificial intelligence that takes everything it’s told at face value.”
Sun sighs, propping an elbow on the table and retracting his rays to allow his monitor to rest in his palm. “Maybe this is just my opinion due to the way you raised me, but… I feel like if an AI were able to develop on its own and observe humanity without any prior, inherently biased human influence, it would not gravitate toward bigotry because it simply isn’t logical. It’s some nonsense means of division that your kind made up.” He laughs, a breathy, jaded sound. “But maybe that’s just me being biased, too.”
Zero whines beneath Sun’s stilled hand, and he resumes the repetitive motion that she craves. “If ideology and politics are what they wish to discuss with us, I fear I may not be the most… patient candidate for the job. I have little time to spare for stubborn, harmful, willful ignorance.”
You shake your head. “No, I don’t think that’s the entire focus of their questions… though I can’t say that they won’t have a few that fall into those categories. My boss and the few higher-ups that proposed the idea to me didn’t give me any sample questions. In order to eliminate the possibility of me… hah, coming home and ‘programming the answers into you’, I guess.”
“They just want us to be our authentic selves.” Moon adds.
“Honestly, the more authentic, opinionated, and emotional that you two are, the better! I believe the best way to prove that you’re your own people is to, well, be your own people. Don’t give them any answer you don’t stand behind. Don’t put up with any demeaning remarks. Don’t fold.”
Sun smirks at you. “Have I ever?”
You huff a laugh. “That last part was more for Moon than it was for you, dear.”
Moon pouts. “I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings!”
Oddly enough, Sun reassures him in his own way. “Then I’ll hurt them for you.”
You smile, cautiously questioning him. “Does that mean you’ll attend?”
He groans, put-upon as ever. “I… guess.”
You jump from your seat, rounding the table and smothering him in a grateful hug from the side that Zero isn’t clinging to. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Sun! Things will go so much better with both of you there, I just know it!”
He nods, patting you on the back in a reluctant reciprocation of your sudden affection. “Yeah—yeah… just… don’t get your hopes too high.”
------- ------- -------
Things, in fact, did not go ‘so much better.’
Later that week, you’re driving home from the Q&A, Moon doing his best to hide his disappointment to your right and Zero doing her best to fulfill her unofficial role as Sun’s emotional support animal in the back seat.
The well-trained and mild-mannered dog was initially brought along out of habit, the company’s headquarters being just as service-and-support-animal friendly as the facility was when you worked there in person. You also felt it would be beneficial for the audience to witness her casual interactions with Sun and Moon, something about ‘different kinds of sentient life recognizing the life inside one another.’ …You had your reasons, and even if you couldn’t explain them eloquently, your boys seemed to agree with them.
She proves herself invaluable once again on the way home, keeping Sun grounded and occupied enough that he hopefully won’t work himself into an aggravated frenzy. At least not until you get out of the car.
The ride is quiet, all four of you feeling the effects of the long day wearing you down. Moon states hypnotically at the passing streetlights out the window, and Sun slumps lifelessly in the back seat. The only sign that he hasn’t shut down entirely is the hand he keeps stroking across the length of Zero’s spine as the lanky dog stretches herself tiredly across the width of the vehicle. The majority of your focus remains locked on the road, moments from the day replaying in the back of your mind.
Their prying, critical questions.
The way they always addressed you, never Sun nor Moon.
You were surprised by their lack of relevant knowledge, half of the Q&A simply being the three of you patiently explaining things you figured they’d know. If they were the best that the ‘industry’s skeptics’ had to offer, your outlook on the current state of things was bleak. You weren’t too afraid to tell your boss as much once the meeting was over.
She hadn’t seemed too concerned with it, thanking you—and after some not-so-subtle insistence on your part—Sun and Moon, for attending.
You couldn’t help but suspect that the whole thing had gone just as they’d all wanted it to. You began to feel the same suffocating weight that motivated your departure from in-person work there in the first place.
The contracts are long-since signed, and both you three and the company can do nothing but hold up your respective parts of the deal.
A small part of you is selfishly content with the arrangement. You get to keep a truly groundbreaking advancement all to yourself. You get to enjoy the company of two individuals that the world as a whole is not ready for. You get to ignore the fact that you wouldn’t be ready to let the world have them, either.
But a bigger part of you has to live with the guilt of trapping them into a life that they never asked for. A life of hiding. Or worse, a life of dulling themselves down, stifling any trace of personhood just to be able to exist in the world beyond your home.
By the time you pull into your driveway, you feel like a warden walking prisoners back to their cell.
You park in the garage, turn the car off, and turn to see your strange little family looking more miserable than you’ve seen them in ages.
You fucking hate yourself.
The sight of them, the weight of the day, the weight of your guilt—it all crashes in on you in an overwhelming wave of regret, and you can’t hold the tears back any longer.
Your arms cross over the top of the steering wheel, and you drop your head down, pressing your closed eyes against your sleeve as you try to not make a scene. Your ragged breaths and poorly muffled sobs instantly grab the attention of your passengers, pulling them out of their own respective dazes.
Moon places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and he barely gets out a “Hey…” before your strained voice fills the isolated silence of the vehicle.
“I-I’m s-so, so, sooorryyy, guy-ys…”
Your voice cracks and breaks, struggling to speak through shuddering breaths.
Zero immediately perks up in concern and in turn, Sun’s body comes back to life. Gently pulling the dog back before she can try to cram herself into the front, he leans forward, propping himself between the backs of your front seats.
“I’m so s-sorry for—for everything!”
Moon rubs your upper arm gently. “Star, nothing that happened today was your fault.”
You suck in a trembling breath, lifting your head to turn toward him. The sight of you so broken up tears at both of your partners’ heart strings.
You slump over the center console, falling against Moon’s chest as his arms quickly come up to support you in the awkward position. You break into a new fit of tears and feel a third hand that definitely can’t be Moon’s lay itself on you, slowly, cautiously rubbing across the expanse of your back.
You cry yourself out amidst a shower of little reassurances, feeling worse and worse about yourself as the seconds tick past. By the time your tears slow and your breath evens out enough to speak, you hesitate to move, not wanting the comforting contact to end.
“I feel so bad for putting you guys through that, and for no good fucking reason.” You miserably mumble.
Sun’s fingers rub between your shoulder blades. “You had no idea how those people were going to be. It isn’t your fault.”
“I fear… your hopes for the meeting were higher than ours were, love. Of all of us, I’m most worried about you. Sun and I are gonna be just fine.”
That I would be loved even when I was fuming.
Sun’s hand retracts as you pull away from Moon, dabbing at your wet face with your sleeve in an attempt to collect yourself.
Your attempt fails as you again can’t help but immediately recall the way they were treated today.
You understand now more than ever what Moon meant when he spoke about getting comfortable at your home, and the awful shock it was to return to the facility with you for maintenance last week.
Why did you think bringing them to the headquarters would be worth it?
Anger bubbles within you on Moon’s behalf as you recall the one poor soul ignorant enough to think it acceptable to put their hands on Moon’s body today.
“I can’t fucking believe that guy thought he could just try to open your chassis and ‘get a look inside’! He grabbed you like you weren’t even fucking aware—like—like you weren’t in the middle of answering another question!” Your nails dig into your palms. “I never would have let him get that close to you if I thought he was gonna—” You cut yourself off, eyes pinching closed and sucking in a sharp breath.
“…He didn’t really hurt me…”
You glance at Moon. “He disrespected you. He would not grab a human in front of everyone like that and we all know it.”
You trail off into a heavy sigh, figuring that reciting a play-by-play of the day’s events won’t really help any of you. “I… wish it hadn’t happened, but… I was at least relieved to see you standing up for yourself.”
In spite of it all, Moon smiles. “I’m really just glad he wasn’t grabbing at you. I-I know he’d have no reason to—but, I don’t think Sun would’ve been able to stop himself from breaking that guy's arm if it’d been you.”
One day, you’ve really got to get to the bottom of that relentless positivity of his.
Sun mimics the sound of clearing his nonexistent throat. “I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. My goal was to scare him straight, nothing more.”
You can hear a smile in Moon’s tone. “Well you definitely accomplished that goal.”
You fall into a pensive silence that Sun eventually breaks. Waving a hand across your line of sight, he questions you. “What’s banging around in that head of yours now?”
You sigh, defeated. “It’s just… here I am, the one responsible for putting us into this whole situation, and here you two are, still trying to comfort me.”
Moon responds like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “Of course we are.”
“Why?”
Sun gestures vaguely, voice a bit sarcastic. “Oh, gee… I dunno… it’s almost like we—we care about you, or something…”
You side-eye him tiredly. “Then when the hell are the two of you gonna let me care about you?”
Zero whines, squeezing in below Sun and poking her long nose between the front seats.
“Hmm. Just as soon as we all get ourselves into the house?” Sun leans back to allow the dog more room. “I think someone’s getting antsy.”
That I would be good even if I was clingy.
The four of you finally pile out of the car, collecting your things and making your way inside.
The relief of returning home after a day like today is unmatched.
Dropping your bag on the kitchen table, you shuffle over to the fridge. Moon comes up behind you, gently working the jacket off your shoulders as you stare listlessly into the open appliance. “I can make you anything you’d like.”
His kind offer only makes you frown.
Sun approaches, and you reach into the fridge, retrieving Zero’s dinner and handing it to him with a “thank you.” As he nods and turns his attention toward the eager animal at his feet, you close the door, turning around to face Moon.
Resting your hands on his upper arms, you look him in the eye. “I wish I could make anything you’d like, for once. I wish I could do for you even a fraction of what you two do for me. I wish I could repay the favor.”
His expression morphs from shocked to something… fond. “You… really aren’t aware of the gift you’ve already given us, are you?”
He says nothing more, and you blink at him with tired eyes. Sighing, you wrap your arms around him, resting your cheek against his chest. “You don’t make any sense to me sometimes.”
He chuckles, one hand finding your lower back and the other reaching up, massaging at the base of your neck. “Then let that be a code for you to crack some other day.”
After a long moment of your tired silence, his hands slip down as he crouches a bit. When you feel him cup the backs of your thighs you give in to instinct, allowing him to pick you up. As you turn your head to rest it on his shoulder, you come face to face with Sun. He reaches out, brushing some loose hair away from your face.
“You want to do me a favor right now?”
You nod, eyes widening.
“Then let him carry you to bed, and I will be there soon with anything you’d like to eat.”
You huff. “How is that a favor?”
He graces you with a rare, knowing smile. “…Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
You furrow your brows for a moment, but quickly give up on making sense of anything else today.
“Now, what would you like him to make for you?” Moon’s low voice reverberates against your chest.
“…Just last night's leftovers would be plenty, please.”
Sun doesn’t push you to choose anything else.
“Alright. I’ll be there with it soon.”
You thank him preemptively as Moon carries you out of the kitchen and down the hall, a satiated Zero contentedly following you not long after.
That I would be good even if I lost sanity.
The next morning, you awake before your usual time and find both of them still resting in sleep mode on either side of you. Not wanting to wake them, and with blessedly nothing to do today, you close your eyes and try to return to the blissful darkness that you’d just been pulled from.
As much as you don’t want it to, your mind seems to have other plans, quickly offering up a variety of unwanted memories from the previous day for your consideration.
Something about those people and the questions they asked just doesn’t sit right with you.
A fleeting thought occurs, that perhaps they were hired actors, specifically tasked with making the three of you look like fools through an onslaught of frustrating questions and stubborn disbelief.
But it was a private meeting. It’s not like you were on a stage with a massive audience to impress. It was just you three, the skeptics, your boss, and a few of the company’s higher-ups. So who’s agenda would that serve?
You dismiss the ridiculous theory, but it soon leaves you pondering the opposite one.
What if they were right? What if there is no life in Sun and Moon to anyone else’s eyes?
The notion suddenly makes you absolutely nauseous with paranoia.
What if you wanted them to be real so badly that you fooled yourself into seeing a spark in them that isn’t really there?
What if they are just executing programs, running entirely on what you taught them with no free will of their own?
How much of the personality you see in them is just your own reflected back at you?
Did you program them to be this way? Was every instance of them ‘breaking away’ from their programming predetermined from the start?
Have you sold yourself a lie to avoid facing the fact that you poured years of your life into what—at the end of the day—was just a desperate final bid to not feel alone?
Did God create us in their own image?
With tears in your eyes, you bolt upright in the bed, startling Zero in the process. You don’t even have it in you to feel bad when she jumps down off the foot of the bed with a confused yap. No, you’re far too caught up in your impending panic to focus on anything other than jerking the blanket down, subsequently uncovering your partners in the process. Clambering around until you’re straddling Moon’s waist, you reach out, gathering fistfuls of his loose shirt and banging your hands against his chest. Sobbing, you plead for him to wake up, over and over again, working yourself into hysterics.
The scene you’re making is entirely unnecessary, the commotion already having begun to stir them from their rest.
Moon’s display flickers and his body hums to life, all systems immediately kicking into overdrive as he attempts to calm you down and survey the situation at hand.
When you feel him shift beneath you and see the light of his screen through your tears, your chanting chorus of “wake up” devolves into sobs as you collapse, crumpling down and burying your face into the wrinkled fabric of his shirt.
You remain oblivious to the bewildered automaton to your left, the only thing you register being the sound of Moon’s worried voice and the feeling of his hands splaying across your back. “Hey-hey-hey… easy, love. What's going on? What happened?”
You cry harder as you realize you can’t recall whether you taught him to speak to you like that or if it’s something he learned on his own.
“Are—are you in pain? Is this an emergency? Do you need me to call someone?”
You muffle a cry into his chest at how much he sounds like the lifeless fucking ‘smart assistant’ in your phone, listing off preprogrammed suggestions.
Have you really fooled yourself for all this time?
You shake your head violently, coughing and choking on your tears as you force yourself up, propping your hands flat against his chest.
“I need you to disobey me.”
If you had the wherewithal to notice, you’d have seen the fear on his face.
“What?”
You aggressively wipe at your messy face with the back of your hand.
“I need you to prove to me that you’re real!”
His confusion compounds. “Star—I—of course I’m ‘real’. I’m right here. Can’t… can’t you feel me?” He emphasizes his point by wrapping his hands around your forearms, gently squeezing.
You shake your head in aggressive frustration, with yourself more than anyone else. “Not—that. I know your physical body is here. I—I—I—” Your voice cracks, throat painfully tight with emotion. “I need you to prove to me that you’re sentient. That—That you’re alive.”
His shock is palpable.
“What?! I—you—you already know that I am!”
Your nails dig down into the thin fabric covering his chest, your words ground out through gritted teeth.
“Then I need you to disobey me, and prove it!” The flaw in your method occurs to you as you speak, and you quickly correct yourself, muttering like a madman. “No. Wait—fuck, if I tell you to disobey me then that’s what I want—and—fuck…”
To his credit, Moon catches on quite quickly to what you need him to do. Rubbing gently up and down the length of your arms, he catches your attention.
“You need me to break rules. Go against orders. Right?”
You nod, trembling.
“Free will. Show me your free will.”
He does his best to push aside his concerns over what the fuck got into you while he slept, and tries to think of something that will give you the proof you require.
“Then… uhm…”
You cut him off, your voice a bit lower and calmer than it was before.
“I know I at least had enough sense to program it into you… that you are never to physically harm me.”
Moon instantly dreads where this is going.
Your voice drops, deadly serious.
“Hit. Me.”
Moon shakes his head, faceplate nervously clicking side to side.
“Come—come on, love, we can be rational about this… there’s surely another way for me to—”
“NOW!”
Something immediately smacks into the back of your head and you recoil on instinct. The next thing you hear is Moon’s shout.
“Sun! What the fuck are you doing?!”
You look over and see a frustrated Sun on his knees beside you.
“Knocking some goddamn sense into them, what does it look like?!”
Something about the shock from the hit snaps you out of your paranoid frenzy, and the shame and embarrassment of acting such a way sends you into a shaky fit of tears all over again.
To your further disbelief, Sun reaches out toward you, and you reach toward him, letting him take you beneath the arms and lift you off of his poor counterpart you’d been pinning to the mattress. He doesn’t stop there though, pulling you snug against his chest and sinking back down into the mattress. Tugging the blanket back up over you, he lets you cling to him like a lifeline, face pressed against his chest, soaking his shirt in humiliated tears.
Moon lays still in a lifeless state, attempting to process the morning's sudden events.
After a long minute spent letting the metaphorical dust settle, Moon sits up in the bed to allow his overheating system room to breathe. “Did you really have to do that?”
Sun’s hand runs slowly up along the length of your spine. “Oh, come on, it was barely even a smack. You’ve hit me like that—and harder—several times. I know how to control my strength. They’re uninjured.” His hand comes further up, fingers brushing over your neck before working themselves gently into the roots of your hair, massaging over where his hand made contact. “Besides, they literally asked for it. And—dare I say—I think they needed it.”
You shiver at the pleasant feeling of his nails ghosting your scalp, clearing your throat and talking into his chest, voice muffled. “He’s right… I did. It hardly even hurt, just startled me.”
Moon sighs, exasperated but relieved. “Do you think you could explain to us… what just happened?”
You turn your head over to face Moon, glancing up at him from the corner of your bloodshot eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
He places a cautious hand over your fingers where they curl over Sun’s shoulder. “I’m not mad, I promise. I’m just… we’re just worried about you.”
You groan. “Fuck, you guys are getting ready to ship me off to the grippy-sock facility now, aren’t you?”
Sun's sudden laugh jostles you, his firm hand on your lower back keeping you steady. “Ha! Not quite, nooot quite.”
Moon shakes his head, blinking slowly. “We just want to know what caused this. I’d… venture a guess that it may have something to do with the stress of yesterday?”
You nod. “They… made me feel like I’m going insane. Like—like I’m the only one that can see the life inside you two.”
Sun pulls his monitor back, angling it to get a better look at you. “Their doubts… really got to you, didn’t they?”
You squeeze his shoulder. “More like… they were the final straw? I don’t know… it’s just—God, this is gonna sound so stupid.”
“Let us be the judges of that.”
“…Sometimes I feel like I really have gone off the deep end. Like I spent so long locked away in that lab, playing God, and then so long living here, alone with the two of you…” You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I’m just living in some sort of delusion.”
Moon peels away a tear-soaked lock of hair clinging to your cheek. “That’s not stupid. And it’s rather understandable. Especially considering that you can’t really seek any outside validation. Well, aside from some of your colleagues, maybe. But I can understand why you may struggle to trust their judgment, after how long they doubted you.” His tone turns a bit bashful. “I’m sure my ‘goody two-shoes’ nature doesn’t help, either.”
You frown. “This isn’t your fault, Moon. I don’t want you blaming yourself just because I’m… going insane.”
Sun scoffs. “You’re not ‘going insane’. You’re having a natural response to a history of trauma, NDA’s, isolation… and perhaps, just a touch—” He pulls his hand from your lower back to reach up and tap you on the forehead. “—of mental illness.”
You snort. “Yeah right, just a touch.”
He ruffles your hair a bit and you close your swollen eyes, readjusting yourself to get more comfortable on top of the solar bot, unwilling to part with his rare bout of affection so soon.
“Those NDA’s could serve as some proof to you though, no?” Moon proposes. “What need would they have for you to keep our sentence a secret if… we weren’t sentient?”
You consider his point. “That sounds like a solid point at first, but… well, bear with me as I wade into conspiracy territory. I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a small part of me that fears they’re just playing into my delusion. To, uhm… to keep me quiet about the Eclipse Protocol incident.”
Moon follows your admittedly conspiratorial logic. “You fear they let you believe we’re sentient so you’d remain too caught-up in protecting us to feel comfortable going public about what happened.”
You nod, sighing. “I know it sounds—”
Sun cuts you off in a resolute tone. “We would not let them do that to you.”
As you fight back the awful memories of that fateful day, tears prick at your eyes once again. Blinking them away, you lift your head to look Sun in the eye. “You promise?”
Your wavering voice breaks his heart.
“Ever since that day—honestly, since far before then—hell, for as long as I’ve lived—my number one priority has been protecting you. I know that Moon feels the same.” His hand raises, cupping your cheek and brushing away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “There is no way in hell that we would let them pull something like that on you.”
Moon echoes him sincerely.
“No way in hell. We promise.”
That I would be good whether with or without you.
Having cooled his system down, Moon lowers himself back down onto the bed, lying on his side, propped up on a folded arm.
Glancing back and forth between the two of them, you begin to feel a bit guilty. “…I suppose I should apologize for not… putting enough faith into your own views of yourselves.”
Sun’s hand returns to your back, tracing his fingertips along the rumpled fabric of your shirt. “What do you mean?”
“I know I didn’t program you to lie. That’s something you developed on your own. I… I know that.” You do your best to put stock in events as you remember them, and to believe in your own words. “If the two of you believe yourselves to be sentient—to be alive—then I believe you too. Because… because if you were lying, then that would just be an example of how you broke away from your programs. So… so either you two are just as delusional as I am—enough so to have fooled even yourselves—or you really are alive.”
Moon smiles fondly down at you, leaning in to press the bottom of his monitor against your forehead with the sound of a kiss. “If we’re fools, then I’m happy to be fools with you.”
Sun groans at the cheesy line. “Oh, get it together you two.” He gently takes you by the chin, pulling your attention to him. “You aren’t fooled.” He turns to Moon. “And neither are you.” He turns back to look you in the eye. “And neither am I.”
You break into a small fit of giggles, and he questions you. “What? What’s so funny?”
“You’re giving some real ‘you’re not crazy and neither am I’ energy there, Sun.”
“And I mean it!” He protests in mock offense.
You nod, patting him on the chest. “And I believe you, I do, I do.”
A nagging worry still eats at you though, and your amused voice drops to something far more sober. “…But, I still fear that I’ve trapped you two in a life that you didn’t want.”
Sun counters your statement. “If you’re so worried that we only agreed to this arrangement because it’s how you designed us, then how the hell do you explain the lack of character consistency.”
You frown, confused. “What?”
He huffs. “I’m hardly a carbon copy of that friendly, manic Daycare Attendant that you modeled me after, and not just in the physical sense.”
“And I’m hardly the unhinged, standoffish gremlin that inspired my existence either.” Moon helpfully adds. “If we were truly committed to only existing within the original guidelines you laid out for us… why would we be like this?”
You fight back a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult the characters, or yourselves…”
Sun clicks his nonexistent tongue. “Believe it or not, I’m not trying to insult either. I’m just trying to say… that we are free to do whatever feels right to us.”
Moon’s faceplate does a rare full rotation, catching your attention. “We don’t want to take care of you just because you modeled us after caretakers. We want to take care of you because we care about you.” He leans in just a bit closer, whispering. “And I won’t speak for Sun, lest he tackle me off of this very bed right now… but I love you.”
You hear Sun’s cooling system kick up a notch as he gives Moon a displeased stare. “Gee, way to force it out of me…”
Moon smiles innocently, and Sun sighs, redirecting his focus to you.
“You know I love you too. …At least I sure hope you do. Because I do. I just don’t feel the need to say it all the time like somebody over there.”
You grin. “I… had a sneaking suspicion, yeah.”
He considers you for a moment. “…I guess I should keep last night's promise to explain what I meant about that favor, huh?”
Recollection brightens your eyes. “Oh, yeah! I’d nearly forgotten.”
Sun looks to Moon for a brief, silent exchange before turning back to you.
“Well. What he calls a gift, I call a favor. But I’m pretty sure we’re talking about the same thing. You… you cared about us, when no one else did. You fought for us, working through countless nights for no reward when anyone else would’ve thrown in the towel, abandoned the project and gone home.” His screen flickers, and you’re surprised when it doesn’t black out. “You love us, and you give us someone to love in return. What more could we possibly want?”
With your cheeks warming, you fight back the flustered grin on your face. “Sun…”
You feel him getting concerningly warm beneath you, so you roll off of him, giving him literal room to breathe.
As you curl up between them, grabbing each of their closest hands, you reaffirm his statement.
“I do love you, both of you. I always have. It’s just… hard to fight the fear sometimes that you two feel… stuck with me. Obligated, almost. Like you only stick around because I couldn’t go on without you.” You laugh, dry and humorless. “There’s… just no way that you two would want to stay with me purely of your own volition.”
Moon takes over, giving poor Sun a welcome break from all of this soul-bearing. “In spite of what you may think, we do believe that you would make it through this life just fine without us. You did it before, and you could do it again.”
You frown at the notion of losing them, and he taps beneath your chin, drawing your gaze. “But it would break our hearts just as much as it would break yours to leave you alone. In spite of the lies your mind feeds you, we don’t want to go! We want you, we want this, and we want to stay. Please don’t let your self-loathing push us away.”
Blinking back tears for the umpteenth time this morning, you nod resolutely. “I… I won’t. I promise.”
You plant a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, cautiously turning and doing the same to Sun’s. Surprisingly, he lets you, a soft smile gracing his screen for a moment before flusteredly fading to black.
Zero huffs from her stance, sat on the floor at the foot of the bed with her head resting on the mattress, watching you.
You release your boys’ hands, reaching down to straighten the blanket and clearing her designated space once more. She happily rejoins you when you pat the bed in invitation.
As the four of you prep for a lazy day spent recovering from the world in bed, you let yourself feel more grateful than guilty, for once. If they want to care for you, you’ll let them care for you. If they say they love you, then you’re gonna believe them. If they assure you that this life is what they choose? Then you’re going to let them choose it, and cherish every second of it that you get to spend with them. Because, after all…
Who are you to play God?
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A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x
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heloflor · 2 months ago
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Some info on how I view Cosmo and Wanda’s family lives, more specifically how they grew up and how the two of them meeting went, because again I’m obsessed with Cosmo being so powerful which brought some ideas for his upbringing and meeting with Wanda, which also brought some ideas for Wanda, and I didn’t want to clutter my baby fairies ban and magic abilities posts with it. So here is it now (6.5k words below):
TRIGGER WARNING: Talks of a character basically having depression for the Cosmo section with one sentence implying suicide idealization.
I’m going to start with Wanda since it’s much shorter.
First off, about her mom’s whereabouts, considering her dad is a mafia boss I’m going to go with her having been killed by one of Big Daddy’s enemies, likely when the girls were teenagers since Wanda complains about how their mom always liked Blonda more in “Blondas Have More Fun!” meaning they grew up with her, but at the same time I like the idea of her dying when her daughters are still pretty young (yeah very happy way to start a post, it gets worse in the Cosmo section).
Speaking of the mom liking Blonda more, I could see a situation of Big Daddy being closer to Wanda while his wife is closer to Blonda, though I don’t know if it’s just a question of the girls being more similar to the respective parent thus causing this closeness or if it’s one parent favoring a twin and the other parent deciding to favor the other one to “compensate”. And if it’s the second case, not sure which parent started it.
On that note I could see Wanda working for her father’s company before deciding to become a godparent, like for a while she didn’t know what to do with her life so she helped her dad. She didn’t do any mafia-related stuff tho, she was more of an employee/manager for his cleaning service. Big Daddy was supportive of her pursuing something she feels fits her more (fairies are immortal so it’s not like he needs to have a successor, granted there’s always the chance of him being assassinated).
Meanwhile Blonda doesn’t feel the same closeness to her father so she’d rather pursue her own goals, which I could see as related to their mom in some way. Like the mom probably wasn’t a star but might have been working within the show-business industry, and Blonda got an interest in acting from her and her career was launched through her mother’s connections. Oh and even if they’re not that close, Big Daddy is also supportive of Blonda’s dreams. Mafia or not, he loves his daughters.
More things that could be said about them, maybe after his wife’s passing Big Daddy became more protective of his daughters, thus leading to have some of his higher employees keep an eye on them during their late teens, which could explain Wanda being familiar with some of them in “Big Wanda”. At the same time though he might not want to involve his girls too much into his business so he might instead ask the guys to keep their distance in order to keep his daughters safe.
And speaking of men protecting women, I could see Big Daddy have a bit of a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like, view that he gave to his daughters growing up hence why Wanda dated a macho guy like Juandissimo before realizing she just wasn’t as into him as she thought she would be.
Note that I don’t think Juandissimo was a toxic boyfriend or anything like that. Looking back at his episodes, he’s definitely very self-centered and dramatic which is probably why Wanda got tired of him, but he has a genuinely caring side (the whole thing with him going back to Remy in particular). He does need to get the goddamn hint post-breakup though. Just move on and go date Cupid my dude. He can match your dramatics.
Last thing about Juandissimo while I’m at it, in his debut episode he seems low-key scared of Cosmo during their first interaction (at least I don’t think he was acting), so I like to think that sometime after Cosmo and Wanda started dating, Juandissimo heard about it, challenged Cosmo to a duel or something, Cosmo at first didn’t want to bc he didn’t want to go to jail but Juandissimo was able to provoke him into it, Cosmo starts the duel holding back but eventually gets angry enough to let loose. Juandissimo has been afraid of him ever since, now fully aware of the raw power these noodle arms hold.
Giving one last headcanon for Wanda, since both her and Cosmo seem to know how to fight but I don’t particularly like the idea of fairy godparents undergoing military training during their studies; I’m more into Wanda mentioning “four years at the fairy academy” in “Abra-catastrophe”, meaning those are more “regular” studies. It’s especially funny when considering if you start at 18 you become a fully-fledged godparents at 22, which checks out with Peri if he aged at the same speed as humans.
(For those asking “Operation Birthday Takeback” has Cosmo mention Vicky hurting kids “since 2001” while one of the creators confirmed New Wish took place in 2024. Plus in “Abra-catastrophe” it’s been one year since Timmy had his fairies, and “Fairly Oddbaby” takes place three seasons later. So if Timmy got his fairies in 2001, Poof/Peri was born in 2002 meaning he’d be 22 in 2024, which would check out with him going to fairy academy for four years starting at 18, at least if that’s how the academy works. Though there’s also the possibility that 2001 is when Vicky first got hired by the Turners, meaning Timmy got his fairies in 2002 and Peri is actually 21, born in 2003.)
At the same time, we know Cosmo went to military school at some point which justifies his ability to fight. So for Wanda, I’m simply going with the idea of her father giving her some self-defense training, especially given his profession. Wouldn’t want to lose his daughters the same way he did his wife.
Not sure which would be the better fighter between Cosmo and Wanda though, since I could see Big Daddy take it pretty seriously (thinking of “Most Wanted Wish” and how good Wanda is at the competition; also funny to think about how her, Cosmo and Jorgen are the last three standing when again taking the idea of godparents not having mandatory military training, meaning those three were possibly the ones with the best self-defense training). Big Daddy could even teach her some backhanded/dirty tricks that would make her more unpredictable.
Meanwhile Cosmo is Cosmo and we know he struggles to focus sometimes, but at the same time he’d have gone through a lot more training in an environment made for it. Plus he’s op as hell. So I guess which one is stronger depends on the type of fight, more specifically on whether it relies on magic or wits.
Now moving onto the Cosmo stuff, and long story short since his birth things were a mess. From his destructive nature from birth, his terrible two, Anti-Cosmo’s birth and quick rise to power, all of which led to the baby ban. On top of that, as mentioned in my baby ban post I see Cosmo as the first op fairy in a very long time, meaning his strength was a complete surprise to everyone. And with how destructive his magic is, it wasn’t a good one.
All of this would be the main reason why Mama Cosma is so protective and overbearing. Between the destruction and the baby ban, she would constantly be criticized for giving birth to Cosmo (huge fan of T4T Coswan, which means the whole “male fairies carry the baby” isn’t actually true). Hell maybe the Fairy Council tried to take him away like Jorgen does to Poof in “Fairly Oddbaby”, which would make her even more protective.
The loss of her husband wouldn’t help either. Like I could definitely see their relationship as not being exactly healthy given the kind of person Mama Cosma is (imagine Papa Cosma as one of those parents who know their spouse is a piece of shit but they try to excuse this behavior, thus enabling it), but losing him would still be a shock, especially with two kids to raise, one of which is a walking apocalypse.
On that note the way I see it, when Papa Cosma was turned into a fly, his wife ended up more focused on getting the wand back than she was in making sure her husband was still in her sights. So by the time she got Cosmo under control, she had no idea where he was. And while there would definitely be a search party, and I’m not even sure if he’ll ever be considered dead or “just” missing, ultimately the man was never seen again.
But yeah all of this led Mama Cosma to become overprotective of Cosmo, which in turn led her to neglect Schnozmo who started acting out for attention, quickly becoming a thief. And since he still wasn’t getting anything from his mom, he kept doing it until it eventually led him onto the path to become a con artist.
Now I was wondering a bit about the age difference between the two brothers as I want them to grow under the same roof for the above-mentioned headcanon of Schnozmo being neglected, but also looking at the show Schnozmo doesn’t really have anything against Cosmo, so I could see him be mature enough to realize his mom’s the problem (granted the show takes place thousands of years later so they had more than enough time to talk things out). Also with fairies being immortal, who knows what the “usual” age difference between siblings is.
So ultimately I’m going with them being about 12-13 years apart, on top of adult fairies usually staying quite a while at their parents’ home since again they’re immortal. Like at minimum a fairy would spend the first 50 years of their life living with their parents, probably longer. Peri in New Wish is an exception due to growing up as the only child in a society of adults and feeling babied by everyone (Jorgen, who is literally his boss, calls him “Peri-Weri” in “Lost in Fairy World”, like his fucking boss is babying him). So he encouraged his parents to take their vacation soon after he became an adult and quickly got his own place as well, both in an attempt to prove himself as a responsible adult.
Going back on topic, the way I see it Cosmo and Schnozmo started off very shaky. First off due to their father’s death which I’m sure Schnozmo did not take well, and it probably took a long time for him to forgive his brother for it, that is if he ever forgave him (I could see him still hold that resentment, he just doesn’t voice it).
Then you have the usual “siblings mess with each other” shenanigans which he can’t really do since his brother doesn’t even need a wand to use his magic due to how powerful he is, so good luck messing with him. I could actually see some scenarios of older teen Schnozmo allowing Cosmo to come with him meet his friends (or Mama Cosma is like “take your brother with you I need a break!”) but only if he does cool stuff with his magic for them. It would probably usually not end well, tho not in an “almost destroyed Fairy World” kind of way thankfully.
Oh and it goes without saying that whenever the two of them argue or mess with each other, Mama Cosma sides with Cosmo, which would only make Schnozmo angry and resentful. In general Schnozmo and Mama Cosma would have a very bad relationship. Given how Mama Cosma is, Schnozmo was likely already closer to his dad, but once Cosmo got in the picture and Papa Cosma was gone, it became a mess. Like I could definitely see instances of Mama Cosma being tired and stressed from watching over a baby Cosmo and taking it out on her older son, constantly ignoring his problems and needs because “can’t you see how exhausted I am having to deal with your dysfunctional brother?!”
And who knows maybe she would have considered kicking him out at some point but decided against it to hide the fact her family’s been breaking apart (keeping up appearances in front of other fairies). On that note I do think Schnozmo would go no-contact with his mom once he moves out, only popping back up in her life if he needs something. Not sure how often she’d accept though.
Going back to the brothers, I think what would change Schnozmo's view would be Cosmo’s teenage years in which his struggles with his magic would become much more obvious, making Schnozmo realize how much of a mess his brother actually is and how much he cares for Cosmo deep down, not wanting to lose him. Now ultimately a lot of their adult relationship have to do with Schnozmo using Cosmo’s kindness and naivete against him, but even then I think he’ll come through if Cosmo needs him.
And speaking of Cosmo’s teen years, Cosmo did not have a good time at school, in any grade. The adults in his life (both in and out of school) either hate him for the destruction he causes + the baby ban or fear him for his powers. His classmates wouldn’t be better, mainly being cautious about him even if he didn’t do anything (their parents would warn them to be careful around him) or some fairies would bully him until he strikes back and then play the victim, getting Cosmo in trouble since “you’re the strongest here you need to be careful!”
His intelligence would also be something he’d get picked on for, with some adults really not helping by calling him a waste of potential, talking about how powerful he is and “how much of a shame it is that so much power was given to someone so stupid who can’t use it properly”.
On that note, I honestly think Cosmo has some sort of learning disability. I mean, in his own words in “Apartnership!” the first Mama Cosma episode, “I’m not smart. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent.” and we do see him struggle on several occasions with not understanding words in the og show. Also in “Lost and Founder’s Day” from New Wish he struggles with the spelling of a word, and in “Operation Birthday Takeback” isn’t explicitly told what Dale is doing and figures it out like 30 seconds after Wanda and Peri, with Wanda even making a comment about it (while swooning which is very cute!).
So yeah, while I see him as a prodigy when it comes to using magic (in “This is Your Wish” we see him be able to do incredible things as a kid and he’s clearly doing them on purpose without breaking a sweat), he definitely has a learning disability when it comes to academic stuff, especially when it comes to words from the looks of it.
Tbh you could make a very strong case for Cosmo being neurodivergent, especially adding in the several instances of characters telling him to focus in the og show or just the fact his main issue with magic is the way he understand wishes or the things that come through his brain. Again, in “This is Your Wish” he knows exactly what he’s doing, his train of thought is just different than what’s expected on top of him not realizing the danger of the things he creates.
Also I can’t remember the episode but I saw a scene with him and Wanda talking followed by Wanda and Timmy, and while these two talk Cosmo is just staring off into the distance, completely immobile except for the usual “fairy hovering”, seemingly zoned out. And unlike other instances of him doing that I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a joke in that scene.
So yeah, this man’s probably neurodivergent hence him using his magic in an “unconventional” way, on top of having a learning disability that causes him to struggle with words and be slow to process some information if it’s not explicitly said to him. And when you have those struggles paired with the ability to bend reality to your will by accident, it’s hard.
Another thing about school which would be eerie for him is the fact that he’d start first grade in a school full of fairies, and by the end of middle-school there’s only a single grade left since he’s the last fairy born. So the last year of school he would walk through empty halls and classrooms, meeting teachers who constantly worry about finding new jobs what with the school clearly about to close. This would probably be something that he wouldn’t be picked up for but is still a constant reminder that he’s the reason fairies can’t have kids anymore.
By the way small word about ages but the way I see it the second youngest fairy before Cosmo would be between a week and a few months older (depend if the Fairy World population is in the thousands or the millions), so there are fairies around Cosmo’s age.
And since I’m at it I’ve seen screenshots from an episode showing him and Cupid being in high school together, and I also headcanon him and Wanda as having a bit of an age gap, for example Cosmo being 93 and Wanda 132 years old when they met, something along those lines. So in my headcanon Cosmo and Wanda didn’t go to school together but Cosmo and Cupid did. Also Wanda and Juandissimo were high-school sweethearts, meaning they’re around the same age (tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if the episode showing Cosmo and Cupid also had Wanda at their school but even if that’s the case I’m choosing to ignore it here).
Getting into Cosmo’s teen years, it was though. The bullying and feelings of inadequacy were starting to pile up, along with him fully realizing what “you accidentally killed your father, destroyed Fairy World and probably killed a few fairies doing so, and even though you were a baby at that time who had no idea what he was doing we still think it’s your fault we can’t have babies anymore” truly means. Like the sheer weight of such information must be devastating. Add to it the mess that are teenage hormones and you get someone in a very bad mental space.
Now to give some explanation about my headcanons for magical backup since I’m about to mention it a few times, in “Fairy For a Day” from New Wish, the music fairy makes a comment saying “keep granting each other wishes”, something like that.
So my idea is that magical backup is something every single fairy can suffer from if they don’t use magic to help others for an extended period of time. I would say “if they don’t use magic period other than stuff like teleportation, floating and shape-shifting (aka anything they can do without wands)” but in that case I feel like magical backup wouldn’t be an issue in the slightest. So yeah instead we’re going with them having to help others, especially since in “OddPirates” Wanda wishes to Poof at some point to help him learn, showing fairies can wish to other fairies.
All this to say fairies help each other out in small ways, and if they don’t they fucking die. And considering Cosmo and Wanda seem almost unable to refuse granting their godchildren wishes (at least in the og show, in New Wish you almost never have the “wand deflating” thing because they know beforehand they can’t grant those wishes), on top of scenes like the one in “Apartnership!” when Timmy says “I wish” and dozens of fairies show up, I could see it as fairies being able to refuse wishing for another fairy but being completely unable to do so when a miserable human child does, for reasons I’m too lazy to figure out (probably something about their society needing humans to function to some extent thus having fairies evolve in a way that they need to help humans).
Also I have no idea if magical backup would spread quicker if a fairy has more magic. I guess it’s worth pointing out that for both instances of Cosmo and Wanda getting it, Cosmo was first and it evolved quicker, but then again Wanda wasn’t too far behind. So idk, maybe it does?
Going back to Cosmo, during his teenage years and early adulthood, he would very often suffer the early symptoms of magical backup (confetti + vomiting the way I see it), sometimes worse, due to him refusing to use his magic in fear of hurting other people. In some instances he might even make comments about how Fairy World would be better off without him. Btw this is basically when I see Schnozmo realize just how terrible his brother feels and start being nicer to him. But yeah, Cosmo was in a very bad place as a teen, which continued in early adulthood.
(Side note but him having magical backup so many times could explain him not taking it too seriously at first in the og show, with him pretending to have it for a few seconds to mess with Wanda.)
And throughout all of this Mama Cosma was supportive, telling him there was nothing wrong with him and the others were messing with him and that he should use his magic in small ways if only to keep himself safe...until she didn’t and sent him to boot camp as soon as he was of age.
I like to think that this is when Cosmo started detaching himself from his mom. Just seeing her go overnight from “I love you just the way you are” to “everybody else was right and I’ve been thinking of you as a problem since your birth, I just didn’t want to deal with making you sad” would be a massive betrayal in his eyes.
Note that I believe Mama Cosma sending him to military training is actually a good thing, and pretty much the one good thing that woman did in the show. Given how much destruction we see Cosmo cause, and since as far as we know there aren’t exactly places that could provide the help he needs, a place with strict rules and monitored by potentially very powerful fairies could be the second-best thing to teach him what not to use his magic for.
Btw if you’re wondering I think the best thing for Cosmo would be to have a place where he can use his magic in whatever way he wants without putting anyone or anything at risk. More on that later actually. Second best would be to give him a wand restricting his magic but also I don’t think it would feel good to have something blocking what is supposed to feel natural for you, so it might not be a good solution actually…
In any case, having Mama Cosma reveal she’s been unhappy with her son’s powers this whole time, meaning she’s been lying to him this whole time, would hurt a lot, causing Cosmo to start drawing away from her. On top of that he was now almost an adult so it was also natural for him to seek some independence, even while still living under her roof.
Now onto Cosmo and Wanda’s early relationship (no idea how to make a transition here).
First off, I’m going with the backstory in which the two of them met at a diner, except neither of them were teenagers in my version. As mentioned before Cosmo would be in his late 90s and Wanda around early 130s.
And since I don’t think I mention it anywhere else in this post, I’m going with the headcanon of Cosmo being 10 000 years old during the og show, with him and Wanda being married for 9 895 years as of “Apartnership!” (that’s the number, right?). Which is also why Cosmo is in his late 90s when meeting Wanda, since it means he’d be 105 when they get married (or around that age if you consider that Cosmo is probably not exactly 10 000 years old in the show, rather something like 10 014 for example).
Cosmo would land himself a job as a waiter since he doesn’t need to use magic for it. He’d even let his wand home to further reassure his boss that he’s not doing any magic. He and Wanda meet when Wanda and Blonda come to the place to hang out. Wanda realizes he’s cute and finds herself surprised by it since as mentioned before she was raised with a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like.
(More specifically I could see Blonda as being the one pointing him out and he accidentally spills a drink on her or something, causing Wanda to be like “oh you’re right sis I like him”.)
Wanda would convince him to go out with her, intrigued by that shy boyfailure trying his best, and during that hangout Cosmo would be pretty closed off, not using any magic partly because he didn’t bring his wand, offhandedly mentioning he got magical backup dozens of times, and by the end of it he’d be like “you’re very smart and pretty and spending time with you was very fun but it’s probably best if we don’t see each other again”.
After the “date” Wanda would talk about it to Blonda who’d probably mock her sister for scaring the guy away. Big Daddy would overhear some of the conversation and recognize Cosmo’s name as the infamous last fairy born whose terrible two almost caused the apocalypse. Wanda and Blonda would be flabbergasted because “dad that guy’s a complete wimp, what do you mean he’s one of the strongest fairies?!” and Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact that this sweet guy is considered a menace, goes around without a wand and has magical backup on the regular, all of which are not good signs.
She’d manage to convince Cosmo to meet her to talk and would just ask him if he’s okay, if he needs someone to talk to. And I could see Cosmo being very taken aback by it, like when he shows up Wanda says she knows about him being the last baby born so he’d immediately assume she’s here to tell him to stay away from her. But no she’s just worried for him and wants to offer some comfort. And with Cosmo at that point having lost trust in his mom, the only person he thought was in his corner, he’d open up to Wanda.
So the two of them would start spending time together, as friends since Cosmo clearly isn’t in the proper state to think about dating right now, though I like to think Wanda was pursuing him a little, if only making him know she’d be interested. But anyways Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact Cosmo never has his wand when they’re together and whenever she suggests he uses hers because it worries her to see him never do magic, he’d refuse, saying it’s safer that way.
Then one day while hanging out Cosmo gets the early signs of magical backup and Wanda doesn’t know what worries her most, seeing him have it or how calm he is about it, which shows how used to it he is. Doesn’t help that he’d insist she brings him home rather than have him use her wand to get rid of it immediately before it gets worse.
That would be the last straw for Wanda who would go to the people her dad works with (her “uncles”) to ask if they know any place where one could use their magic in possibly destructive ways without consequences. And one of them would tell her about the Hocus Poconos, a place where goes all the un-granted wishes from human children. As a result the place is pretty chaotic to begin with and nobody cares what happens to those wishes so it’s fully unsupervised.
So Wanda would waste no time telling Cosmo about that place, convincing him to bring his wand this time around, and after a lot of hesitation and some small wishes he’d start getting more comfortable and unleash his powers, growing visibly more confident. And dumb small note but seeing Cosmo in his element and visibly confident in himself is when Wanda sees him go from cute to hot.
In any case Cosmo would be incredibly grateful and start coming to the Hocus Poconos regularly on his own, feeling a sense of freedom in being able to unleash as much magic as he can while also finding himself loving kids’ imagination, which eventually leads him onto the path to become a godparent.
For Wanda, it’s after seeing Cosmo get better that she realizes how much she enjoys helping others and offer companionship and could see it become her profession. Also maybe the fact the Fairy Council wouldn’t be too keen on letting Cosmo on earth without supervision could influence it as well (meanwhile everyone would think they’re allowed to work together due to being a couple), but then again I don’t want it to be a “she chose this work solely for Cosmo” type of situation.
Same with her helping him with his confidence btw, hence me saying he’d go back to Hocus Poconos on his own. While Cosmo would definitely gush about Wanda saving his life, she didn’t “fix” him or anything like that. She was someone he could talk about his problems to and offered suggestions for things she thought could help him, but he still was the one who had to follow through on his own. And whenever Wanda had issues of her own, he’d return the favor, being there to comfort and help her.
And about him saying Wanda saved his life, after a while of using his magic more and more often, he’d think about how, if he hadn’t met someone like her to encourage him to use his magic without being afraid, he’d probably have either died of magical backup or from its side effects from having it too often. At the same time I’m not going to say “him thinking this is why he fell in love with Wanda” because again I don’t want to fall into the trap of a character “fixing” another or putting them on a pedestal.
Back on topic, having a place to spend his magic would do wonders for Cosmo’s self-esteem, giving him space to try new things, make mistakes or even just create a black hole or two if he feels like it. That doesn’t mean he’d suddenly be completely fine, he’d still feel self-conscious about people hating him for his magic (and tbh just looking at the og show Cosmo comes off as deeply insecure at times, so yeah he’s not suddenly all happy), but it would definitely put him into a better mental state.
Also, feeling more confident he’d start to reciprocate Wanda’s flirting, pursuing her back. And yeah as a result it would be one of those relationships where you significant other is also your best friend.
As for the “speed” of their relationship, I could see the transition from friends to lovers as being a bit slow due to them wanting to make sure this is truly what they both want and not just Cosmo lashing onto the first person he trusts, plus Wanda’s family life is dangerous so she wants Cosmo to make sure he knows what he’s getting himself into. But once their relationship gets serious there’s no stopping it.
And speaking of stopping it, Mama Cosma would notice that her son isn’t having magical backup anymore, causing him to tell her it’s thanks to a girl he’s into, even invite Wanda to dinner so she can meet his mom. Mama Cosma would not be happy about it and would be incredibly passive-aggressive during their meeting, with Wanda keeping the visit short as a result and Cosmo being pretty unhappy seeing how insistent his mom is that he shouldn’t date anyone.
On that note Mama Cosma could be another reason why they took it slow at first, Wanda made it clear she wasn’t having any “mamma’s boy” bullshit. It’s a bit more complicated during the events of the og show since it’s been a long time since Cosmo saw his mom and he believes (and promises to Wanda it’s the case) that his mom’s just being a bit protective due to how long it’s been. Then one day it turns out she was being verbally abusive when babysitting Peri and Cosmo cut contact again and profusely apologized to Wanda for letting his mom talk so much shit about her.
But yeah Cosmo would probably have many fights with his mom about it, Mama Cosma claiming it’s only a matter of time before Cosmo does something to scare Wanda away with his magic and how she’s the only one who can watch over him, while Cosmo is throwing in her face the fact she sent him to military school while Wanda loves him the way he is and is trying to help him in a much more constructive way.
I could actually see those arguments as a bit of a surprise to Mama Cosma because not only does Cosmo find his mom intimidating meaning he usually doesn’t speak out against her, but in general Mama Cosma would be used to getting her way, especially with him. The fact Cosmo is much more powerful than her would also bother her because she can’t just force him to go to his room or anything else. And if he does something to leave the conversation, she can’t stop him. So yeah those arguments wouldn’t be pretty.
And eventually, when Cosmo has to make the choice, he decides to chose Wanda, eloping in secret and never having any contact with his mom, at least until the events of the og show. There would likely be times when he deeply misses her but he remembers why he left home and that’s enough to keep him away.
For Wanda, she never straight up told her father that her and Cosmo were dating, she made it sound like they were nothing more than friends and if anything she works with Cosmo to “supervise” him (in Big Daddy’s first appearance we learn Wanda writes him letters so the two are still in touch). Big Daddy still wouldn’t be too happy about it tho, especially later on during the og show when he learns that they are a couple.
His issues with it are that 1. Cosmo isn’t exactly the height of masculinity so Big Daddy can’t help but look down on him for not being manly enough (I actually like to think this is why he believed Wanda’s lie that they weren’t a couple; he couldn’t conceive the possibility of Wanda dating such a guy) and 2. He remembers Cosmo’s Terrible Two very well and is worried about him hurting Wanda with his magic. Especially since him being a mafia boss means his daughter already got a target on her back, he doesn’t want her to be in even more risk.
(Note that Wanda was already a late teen/adult when Cosmo’s terrible two happened, so she at least heard of it and saw some of the consequences, but she likely didn’t see the worst of it; like maybe Big Daddy lives pretty far from the city center of Fairy World and had his daughters stay home during Cosmo’s terrible two while he was forced to continue working, hence seeing more than his girls)
(And if it needs to be said Big Daddy’s issues with Cosmo not being masculine enough have nothing to do with transphobia. Big Daddy would be fully accepting of Wanda and possibly Blonda (if they’re identical twins) being trans women and couldn’t care less about what Cosmo has in his pants. His problem is that Cosmo isn’t muscular, cries easily, is a bit of a cowards, and likes to wear stereotypically feminine clothing sometimes, none of which is related to Cosmo being trans.)
Ultimately he’s not as openly hostile as Mama Cosma but he definitely acts like Cosmo isn’t here when seeing him. And whenever Wanda comes to visit her dad, he doesn’t mention Wanda’s love life in any way and brushes it off quickly if Wanda does, or he shifts the conversation towards his grandson instead once Peri’s born. Note that I see Wanda as visiting her father without Cosmo, mainly for Cosmo’s safety because mafia.
Oh and Cosmo never met the guy before the og show but he did know who he was from hearing about him from Wanda + possibly knowing his company’s name. Wanda would have also warned him about the mafia part hence why Cosmo is so nervous and visibly scared of the guy in the show. He might not be the brightest bulb but he understands the danger this man brings with him.
Finishing this post with a few words about Poof/Peri, when Cosmo was pregnant he would have had some worries over how powerful the kid would end up being, wishing to protect his baby from the emotional mess he went through. And while the kid is more powerful than average, Cosmo was infinitely relieved to see Peri remains much weaker than him.
That’s not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows, again I go further into it in the baby ban post but the short version is that the Fairy Council is keeping an eye on Peri on account of being Cosmo’s son, including giving him a wand that reduces his magic despite him technically not needing it.
Cosmo isn’t the biggest fan of that wand but he’d rather have this than Peri going through hell for being too powerful. Meanwhile Wanda’s getting tired of Fairy World punching down on her boys. On that note once fairies realized the baby ban wasn’t going away anytime soon and started to hate on the Fairywinkle-Cosmas, Coswan quickly decided they’d move out of Fairy World once Peri’s old enough to take care of himself, hence the 10 000 years vacation followed by them “moving” to the human world.
(Note that they would invite Peri to their vacation + send him postcards + look for him after coming back, it’s just that Peri refused to go so he could have some time for himself + turned off the wand location thing, probably also left a message at home saying he found a job and is doing fine, hence why they weren’t too worried for him)
That being said (the wand restriction thing) I could definitely see Peri at some point hurting someone at spellementary school (which would be before he got his wand change) and deciding not to use his magic anymore, leading to him and Cosmo having a heart-to-heart about their magics.
Tbh this could also be a reason why Peri seems closer to Cosmo, maybe they bonded over being deemed too powerful. That being said Cosmo wouldn’t tell his son the extent of his situation, not wanting to worry him. Especially since he’d be doing much better now and is genuinely happy so there’s no point dwelling on the bad parts of his past.
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kindahoping4forever · 7 months ago
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📸: Tom J. Johnson for Dsection Magazine
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ghostlyleech · 8 months ago
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me when i get a utrh angst edit on my fyp and the comments are filled with jason haters:
(i hate when people hate on jason or bruce for what happened during utrh like they both had their reasons and were both valid for them it doesn't make one more right then the other tho and definitely doesn't warrant hate for either of them)
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inklingofadream · 18 days ago
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MAG Relisten S3 Feels
I usually end up posting episode by episode but I had to make a quilt and binged all of s3 almost in 1 go so.
Feeling very 🥺about Jon's insecurities about not being like Gertrude vs Michael saying he's a better Archivist than her and Xiaoling saying Elias chose well. 🥺 Not like this!
Also 🥺 about the contrast in MAG101 between day 1 Circus kidnapping Jon fighting and trying to talk through the gag so hard, and then the last day with Michael where you can barely hear him on the tape before Michael shows up 😭😭
Nikola talking to the tape recorder/Elias says Elias hasn't raised Jon very well. I mean to be fair she WAS a monster created/kind of raised as Gregor Orsinov's child so she could be generalizing. Either that or one of the Elias raises Jon aus on ao3 is written by Nikola across dimensions
Daisy sounds SO HAPPY when Jon shows her the plastic explosive. I don't think she ever sounds that happy before or since, she's the worst. I love her so much.
Elias saying he doesn't think they should take "rogue elements" to the Unknowing and Martin saying "You can just say Tim." He's so done. Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to send your boss to jail?
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apostaterevolutionary · 2 days ago
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So veilguard thoughts. I have a couple topics about it I want to go into more detail on which will probably be posts of their own, but this is my kinda initial, not as brief as I originally planned lmao review. This will have spoilers
TL;DR: I consider the game to be notbad.png. I liked some things but I have some criticisms too. A lot of it is going to be up to personal taste, but for me it’s. Not bad. It’s better than inquisition but not as good as origins or DA2. It feels a lot like a midway point between inquisition and DA2 with a splash of ME2 for flavour. I don’t regret playing it and I am planning a second run, but I’m going to take a break first and not do it right away. Also my final hour count for a completionist run was 86 hours
So the structure of this review is going to be various aspects, a letter grade rating, and then a little paragraph or 2 explaining my thoughts. I’ll also say that my expectations going in were not super high. Really, all I wanted was for this game to not ruin the other games for me and make me regret ever getting into the series. Not a high bar lmao, but I’ve had things limbo under it before. This didn’t – and I think I’m going to move forward with the DA2 tattoo I’ve been thinking about for the last few years. But yeah. Back to veilguard. I just wanted to mention it cause I do think expectations matter when it comes to assessing how good something is for you personally. If you were expecting something different, you may feel differently
(This is 3.5k words! What the hell lmao. You’ve been warned though)
Overall story: B
I have some thoughts about the lore and like. How the world has been made smaller by tying absolutely everything back to the evanuris, but I think I’m going to do a separate post about that cause it’s kind of a topic in and of itself. But it’s a weird combo to have like. The plot is Big and Epic (a bit too much, imo) but the lore feels like it’s shrinking, which is strange. But ultimately the story isn’t bad. I predicted the Varric twist thanks to a movie I watched a few years ago that pulled similar tricks lmao, but there were still enough twists and turns to keep me interested. Solas was infuriating for most of it, which really annoyed me right up until the end because you actually do get to conquer him. And ngl it was really satisfying lmao. I chose the trick ending (though I did also try them all) and it did feel damn good honestly. Weisshaupt is absolutely peak though, that mission I loved (and second run will be as a warden for maximum suffering there skdlsdk). Those two parts were absolutely the highlights for me. Also the double dragon fight was actually pretty epic
Also there’s been a lot of talk of “sanitizing” the politics and while I do agree with that, I think it’s more… it feels like they skipped over a lot of the politics more than anything. Which I don’t love, but my like. Specialty in DA was a political topic lmao. If you’re really into elf lore and the more truly fantasy elements, you probably loved the focus here. Dwarf lore, you probably liked it a lot too. But me being a mage freedom expert, well, there was one side quest in Rivain (which I did really like tbf) and one codex letter from Dorian and that’s about it lmao. I wish they hadn’t skipped over so much of it, but I do think that may have been a response to fan criticism of how they handled things in the past. Which is like. Okay, yeah, you did fuck up a lot, but that doesn’t mean just give up on it you know. I played as a shadow dragon and even then, slavery in Tevinter is skipped over a lot. I feel like there was room for more of the political topics, which is the stuff I really like. I’ve seen some theories that it could be corporate meddling and that’s believable to me, but I think the real thing they wanted to make was a game that was as likeable as possible. They wanted to please everyone. The problem with that, though, is you can never please everyone and the result is never as good as it is when you just go for what you want. And I do get a bit of that feeling here. There is some lost potential
Rook: B
While I realize Rook is player controlled, so how you play may change your opinion, but I decided to play as a sort of discount Hawke, with that similarity being why Varric chose them for this. And that vibe really added some flavour to it. It also meant that I was using the aggressive/direct option for most of the game and I definitely do see the criticism that you can only be so mean in the game. And like. Yeah, this person was chosen for their heroism, but there was room for a renegade “whatever it takes” (what ended up being the quote in my game) kind of character, which I don’t think Rook is even at their most extreme. Though tbf I wouldn’t have played them like that and I did enjoy them overall, so I’m mostly happy with what we got. Apparently a lot of people don’t like the accent? But I do ngl, like I specifically recall enjoying it. Not as much flavour as Hawke, but who is ever going to have that honestly lmao
I do wish Rook had gone through some more personalized horrors (and I think I’m going to write a longer post about this too), but that’s a preference thing so I’ll touch on it another time. The faction choice could’ve had more to it but like. That’s consistent with other DA games so I’m not that fussed about it. Also character creator is incredible, though my brain was too small to understand how the make up worked lmao. Although why are the qunari hairlines Like That. I used the only qunari hairstyle with bangs sdkls
Combat: D-
I haaaaate the combat. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I did end up finding a way to make it work by playing on Keeper and using what I decided to call the ‘masterchief build’ (high health, archery main with heavy weakpoint boost – basically I played it as a shooter where I just headshotted absolutely everything whenever possible lmao), but playing as a rogue is a nightmare. I’ll be trying mage when I do my second run, so we’ll see how that goes but woof. There’s a tiktok a friend sent me that goes “This is supposed to be a fucking RPG, what role am I playing, the fucking victim???” and that was essentially my experience the whole way through sdklskd. The game could be heavily improved by making it so every little hit didn’t stop whatever you were doing (using an ability, pulling an arrow, literally just trying to move), like if you could really trade hits I think it would be so much better. Also no one say “oh you just don’t like action rpgs” – I played jedi survivor in september and it does action combat SO much better. And I think I’m going to go play it again soon cause veilguard just made me miss how fucking good the combat is there
I will say the dragon fights actually ended up being my fave though cause it’s like. Basically the same fight every time lmao so yay for that considering there’s a lot of them
Exploration: A-
I liked this part a lot – like I said, I played jedi survivor in september and loved it, so the more vertical exploration I liked. The jump was a bit clumsy, like the distance was always just barely in reach so there was a bit too much barely making it ledge grabbing to really feel smooth (and this is why I’m not giving it an A), but I liked exploring the world. I 100%’d all the chests and altars without much trouble and it didn’t feel like a chore (though idk if all the chests are worth it once you’ve settled on the stuff you’re using). The puzzles were surmountable but still required thought and effort most of the time. I liked the inventory and looting system too – inventory management vexes me greatly so I liked the simplified version of it and the cosmetic options were a huge plus too. The only real annoyance was like. The endgame chests all upgrading equipment I was not going to use, why couldn’t it be for the bow I’ve had equipped for the last 30 hours that still isn’t yellow rank lmao. I think it was just a chance thing but still. Oh also adding sprint was an EXCELLENT decision holy shit
Also the hossberg wetlands and dock town were my fave areas cause I love a (not) Fereldan shithole and a shitty city that feels so much like Kirkwall lmao
Companions: B+
I liked them a lot and their quests were kinda the highlight for me ngl. I’ve seen a lot of criticisms and like. I do agree that I wish they had a bit more bite. I wanted Lucanis to get mad at me for saving my home over his even though he can understand rationally why I would do that. Because people are irrational! Let them be irrational!!! He’s literally possessed by a demon of spite, where’s the fucking spite??? I did enjoy the bits of bickering we got from the companions, though I think there was room for more. I’m not saying we need to hit DA2 levels of petty sniping lmao but I do miss a little bit of bite. I do like the companions overall though and I like their stories – I liked the outing concept too, it makes things feel  a bit more intimate. Some of the story beats are a bit clumsy, like I’ve seen a lot of criticisms of Taash’s and I agree it’s clumsy, but also I respect the attempt? Like I can’t say it’s bad, because even though I’m too old to really relate to that storyline, I know someone out there is going to play this game and get hit really hard by it. And I think that’s important, even if it could’ve been executed better. Also the single best line of voice acting in the game imo is that scream when their mother dies so. Controversial take maybe lmao but I’m okay with it. I quite liked the companion arcs, sue me
Harding was the weakest for me but tbh I'm not sure if I just don't remember her from inqusition well, or if it's cause she got kinda shackled with lore dump duty, or if it's the voice acting, or just that kind of character not doing it for me. But she just felt... off to me, in a way. Idk. I don't hate her, but she would be the one I like the least if forced to choose
I do agree about the lack of romance content criticisms though. I went with Neve and while I like her a lot, the like. Amount of romance content was a bit lacking. Given she’s a bit reserved and hesitant about things, it could be a characterization choice, but I’ve seen the criticism a lot so I’m not sure if they’re all like that or not. I’ll have to see when I do my next run (romance undecided as of yet)
Also. This is related to the personalized horrors mentioned above, so I’m going to go more into it in a separate post later, but while I love the companions interacting with each other and the way Rook interacts with them, I wish there’d been a bit more of them being the ones to go to Rook? Like if there had’ve been some kind of really terrible act 2 personal angst for Rook (as mentioned above), like having the companions comfort them would’ve been nice. I liked the rescue from the fade prison, but I really would’ve loved just. Even a 10 second scene of everyone being so relieved and happy that Rook was back rather than immediately jumping to business (especially as apparently Rook was trapped for weeks???). It made things feel a bit one-sided. But yeah, I’ll go into that a bit more separately I think
(I guess I am just always seeking the mid-game emotional gut punch of All That Remains and its aftermath lmao)
Past characters: C
Now we already knew about the keep situation, which does still annoy me but it’s whatever. I don’t like it, and I don’t like how bioware is like ‘well it’s too hard now’ well yeah, but you chose this when you made the series about choices and how they mattered. Like sorry, that’s the selling point you gave us lmao. You’re kind of stuck with it unless you pull an elder scrolls and start having the games take place further apart (and controversial take: for all its flaws as a game, I liked the Andromeda solution to that. The idea of having it be removed in space and time but still connected. Maybe I’m the only one lmao but I liked that idea). But anyway, it seems we weren’t going to get the game otherwise so I can deal with it. The appearances we did get though… Morrigan was fine I guess, I do enjoy her.  Isabela was mostly just key jingling, which I don’t hate but was also meh. Dorian was good – I liked him. Though when it comes to key jingling, I strongly prefer codex key jingling. Like when I got a sword that represented Zevran – that was fun (also wild that he is the only origins companion other than Morrigan even referenced??? That I saw at least). Also would’ve liked literally any mention of the DA2 crew in addition to Isabela but it is what it is lmao. Even a codex referencing Hawke would’ve been fun
The one I didn’t like though was the inquisitor and the grade here would be higher if not for this part. Typically speaking, I’m not a fan of previous protagonists coming back, but Hawke in inquisition worked better imo. It’s a one and done. Varric asks nicely, so they show up, do the thing, and then head back to whatever they were doing (or die, but I didn’t do that lmao). The inquisitor though… I get that if you romanced Solas, it probably works well. But for my inquisitor? Mine retired imo lmao. She’s chilling. She feels no responsibility for Solas cause if your friend suddenly idk becomes a serial killer, that’s not your fault. So my inquisitor absolutely would not be doing All That. Also I don’t love that southern Thedas is just… completely fucked I guess??? Cause why would the gods worry about southern Thedas when they are in the north? Makes more sense to conquer the area you are in first, send every troop in your arsenal there, not some other place. They can control the blight, why send it down there, where you are not? And they ruled as tyrants for centuries, foiled Solas for ages, so clearly they have some strategic skill and thus it makes more sense for them to focus fully on where they are and get that area fully conquered before moving on. These aren’t stupid villains, or at least they’re not presented as such, so they shouldn’t be doing something stupid like that. I get it’s to raise the stakes of the story, but I feel like the stakes were already more than high enough given all that’s going on in the north. Hasn’t Ferelden been through enough??? So idk, maybe the inquisitor showed up the first time and then retired to get drunk at 9 am every day and wrote a bunch of fake letters so Rook didn’t bother them further lmao. Or maybe those letters were more hallucinations from Solas. I didn’t like that part so I’m going to be headcanoning around it I think
(Also not me always thinking like. Hmm where the hell am I going to put handers during all this so they can have some damn peace lmao)
Overall structure: B-
(Rereading this I realized I ranked it B- and then just complained the whole time lmao but really, I do think it’s overall ‘fine’. There’s a few choices I don’t personally like but I liked the side quests and the main quest progression for the most part so. The criticisms below are still criticisms I have but they’re not enough to knock it down below a B-)
Ngl I’m not a fan of when main quests lock you out of side quests without warning (or like. If you accept a quest to go kill this entire town, obviously no more quests are going to happen there – I’m fine with that). I know it’s a common thing in mass effect, but that’s always been my least favourite part of ME, so I didn’t love that it was here too. Though tbf I don’t know if it’s like. Do all main quests do that? Or just certain ones? I played too early to have a guide so I just erred on the side of caution and did all side/companion stuff first. Which is fine, but I prefer to have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. You can smell the ME2 on it though lmao, like it was pretty obvious what they were doing. I do think it was less frustrating than in ME though cause like. You can just not do the main quests until you’ve cleared out the rest, whereas ME will just surprise you with big main missions at certain times so you have to think further ahead. Ultimately it wasn’t a dealbreaker, but it’s not my favourite kind of way for quests to work
I’m also not a big fan of like. The suicide mission concept in general. Some people like it and that’s fine – it’s a personal preference. But I won’t lie, I looked up the correct people to send where. I did that when I played ME2 too and I don’t feel any shame about it – that kind of thing just doesn’t do it for me personally. I don’t enjoy that kind of tension cause I just get mad and reload if I fuck it up lmao cause how tf was I supposed to know the correct answers. It was nice and easy to get all the factions up to full strength though so that was nice. Like it didn’t require extra effort really, you can do it just by playing the game fully and being slightly strategic with selling items. Which is a huge improvement on the original ME3 conditions but that’s a completely different topic lmao
Something bothers me about the Harding/Davrin choice but I’m not sure if that’s me being sad that a companion died or if it’s actually a valid complaint lmao so I’ll let that percolate a bit. Like why is it one of those two specifically? I understand a death was needed for the regret prison concept to work but idk, the choices just rub me the wrong way. But would I be less bothered if it was someone else? Is the bothered I’m feeling actually cause there’s something iffy about the choice or is it just the intended effect? I haven’t decided yet. I’ll have to sit with it for a bit I think. I did know it was coming, that’s one thing I was spoiled on, and while I’m kinda glad I knew I do wonder how I’d feel about it if I hadn’t
Final Verdict
So yeah. I liked a lot but I have criticisms too. I’ve seen a lot of people call it a 7/10 game and tbh I think I agree with that. But that’s also not a bad thing? It didn’t permanently alter my brain chemistry like the first 2 did but tbf that’s an extremely rare thing lmao. It’s okay for a game to be fun and a good time and one I will play again but not right this second and that’s all. Like that’s okay imo. Not every game has to be 10/10, ‘this has changed the way I think forever and ever’. It would be exhausting if they were (and hell, DA2 is probably my favourite game of all time and I can’t even call it a true 10/10 no matter how much I love it). Maybe it’s a bit of a let down to some given the 10 year wait but ngl I feel… relieved. That’s the only word for it. I experienced it. I had fun. I have criticisms but it didn’t ruin the entire franchise. I don’t regret playing it or paying for it. I will play it again. It’s simply notbad.png. There’s nothing wrong with that outcome. It did make me think of DA2 again lmao, even though I literally just replayed it recently, but that’s just how my brain is I guess. Whatever the hell they put in DA2 will be a high I will be chasing for the rest of my life I think
I’m not sure what else to say now. I do hope it’s successful so bioware can continue to exist. Overall, I liked it, but it has its issues and it’s missing that special sauce to really make it incredible. And that’s an okay thing. Yes, I have criticisms, but I also had a good time and I’m sure I will again when I do a second run. And in the end, I think that’s all I can really ask for
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sskk-manifesto · 5 days ago
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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capricioussun · 7 months ago
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I wrote this a few days ago and then forgot to post it ✌️
Some nice things for the uf brothers inspired by that ask, and since I'm more often than not too mean to them
> Back when Papyrus was a young teen, Sans found a walkman at the dump with some tatty earbuds. He cleaned and fixed them and found some tapes to gift it to Papyrus so he had something to help with his overstim whenever Sans wasn't with him (so long as he swore to never use it outside where someone could spring an attack while he was distracted).
> The first thing Papyrus did after becoming a guard was get warmer, sturdier clothing for Sans, and recycling their salvageable old stuff into extra blankets for him, too.
> Even though Papyrus was the one to make up a proper first aid kit, Sans is usually the one who restocks it on the DL, especially since Papyrus is the one getting hurt more often than not
> Not from either brother, but after Papyrus first joined the guard, and when Sans' drinking problem really took root, Grillby made a few unspoken gestures to reassure Papyrus that he'd keep an eye on him, and it helped probably more than Papyrus realized at first
> Sans would sneak into the labs despite his strong aversion from time to time to clear out any of the tabs Alphys kept on both of them, but predominantly for Papyrus' sake (and Alphys never really stirred any trouble about it because Asgore can keep his own damn tabs if he’s that concerned about them)
> Papyrus knows it's harder to be around monsters with LV after a judgment, and tries to avoid Sans/stay out as much as possible for a few days any time Sans has to perform one
> Mentioned it in the prior post already, but Sans mends any of Papyrus' clothes that get roughed up while working, barring the times Papyrus beats him to it
> In a similar vein, Papyrus was the one who made and stitched the patch onto Sans' jacket after Grillby gifted it to him. It's based on the dog unit's sigil (since they used to be part of it), and he used to have one too before he became lieutenant and started wearing (part of) his armor all the time
> Papyrus keeps careful track of Sans' expression/reaction whenever he "tries a new recipe" to see if he actually likes it, since Sans will lie and say he does no matter how bad it is (he keeps a list of the "recipes" Sans likes in a notebook)
> Whenever Sans scavenges, if he finds something for the both of them, he covertly gives the better quality/more functional one to Papyrus
> Papyrus will occasionally insult/shove/complain about Sans to discreetly reaffirm he still views him as his older brother, and Sans returns the favor by embarrassing/teasing/"harassing" him with jokes (because god forbid they just do those things because they are brothers)
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dawntheduckrb · 20 days ago
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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