#this post was brought to you by my baby sis forcing me to watch that one new shit Disney movie. again.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

sorry lads, Dead Boy Detectives was ACTUALLY cancelled because Monty got hit with the straight beam. rejected by exactly one boy, and he turned to piracy and heterosexuality. sad!!

[shorkbrian]

Ahhh, if it's not too much trouble, can you do another part to that pervy sero post where he makes the reader watch porn and stuff, but this time like... fully forces himself onto reader to make sure sure learns abt the stuff he forces her to watch, or maybe he gets kaminari to join in to prove how "normal" it is for friends to watch porn together? Thank you so much!!

Hi!!! bro of course I can!

Prelude - Sero is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse to get reader to come “hang out” with him because reader gets some bad anxiety the second he approaches her! I tried to make it clear that reader is like HECKA anxious but doesn’t realize it cause sometimes!!! you aren’t able to tell!!! and if your partner is a specific breed of awful, they’ll take your hesitance and vulnerability and swoop in and coerce you into doing something you aren’t sure about. Also, Sero knows a lot about sex and is manipulating reader and giving her false information. Don’t be like Sero.

Prompt - above babeyyy

Pairings - Sero Hanta X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, coercion, dub con, non con. Sero is a manipulative little bitch.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/7po7c8LzxTZ0ybU41qT5gD?si=5a1Bo4SURJmaQGw-gky-kA

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“Hey, (Y/N)!”

You ignored the cheerful voice calling your name, continued walking through the crowd of students towards your next class, backpack slung over your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

You knew who the voice belonged to. You knew Sero was just going to ask you to hang out in his room after class, or wanted to show you another inappropriate picture or video off one of the lewd sites he frequents. If you were unlucky, he’d pull you away from class, make up some stupid excuse and beg for you to come hang out with him cause he’s “lonely” and needs a friend.

Ever since he had you jerk him off (over his boxers) in his room, you’d avoided your friend like the plague. You felt so awkward around him now, embarrassed in his presence. You really felt uncomfortable spending time with him, even when the rest of your friend group was present. He had said it was a normal thing for friends to do, that he and Denki watched porn together all the time. 

Still, you just felt…. Well, weird. The whole situation was weird and you preferred not to think about it, to just avoid Sero and keep your head down, focus on school and training and your other friends.

Sero had other plans.

A hand grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face , almost throwing you off balance.

“Why’re you ignoring me? I called your name like, six times bro.” Sero pouted down at you, eyes big and round and you could already tell he was going to guilt you into doing something you’d rather not.

Taking a deep breath, you forced a quick smile on your face, before answering your friend.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Aw, it’s fine.” He patted your shoulder, before guiding you (pushing you) to the side of the hallway, out of the general traffic of the other students. “Anyways, I’ve missed you. I feel like we haven’t been able to hang out, y’know… just the two of us.”

He hadn’t removed his hand from your shoulder, soothingly rubbing his thumb over your uniform. It was hard to focus on what he was saying while he was touching you, while he was pressing you closer to the wall, shielding you from the throng of other students with his body. It was so loud, everyone talking to their friends, talking about homework and the upcoming math test and-

“Are you okay dude? You seem kind of…. Out of it.”

You were kind of breathing hard, and your stomach felt bad. It hadn’t before? Maybe you were coming down with something. You shrugged, trying to knock his hand off your shoulder. His dimpled smile faltered as he drew back, giving your body a concerned once-over. 

“Actually, I don’t feel too good right now Sero… I think I’m gonna go see the nurse.” Before you could push past him and head for the nurse, Sero grabbed your hand, putting his other hand up to your forehead. His skin was cool, soft, fingers long as they pressed to check your temperature. 

“Hm, you don’t have a fever. You probably just ate something bad at lunch. I have Tums in my room, c’mon, they’ll help you feel better!” The male grabbed your wrist, tugged you away from the wall, hesitating when you dug your heels in, reluctant to go with him. 

“Ah, that’s okay!” You sputtered, “I have class and I don’t wanna miss it, and uh, I don’t know what “Tums” are, and my mom told me I should try to stay away from medicine cause-“

Sero’s abrupt laugh cut into your rambling, and you stopped talking, looking up at your friend in confusion.

“Tums are antacids that help settle upset tummies dude! I take them sometimes after I smoke a bit too much.” He winked at you, dimples showing as he smiled.

 “Plus class is gonna start any second now, you’d be late anyways. Might as well skip.”

The bell rang.

You fidgeted, looking around at the now-empty hall, not realizing that the other students had slowly dissipated, filing into their respective classrooms. Sero was right, you didn’t feel feverish, you just felt nauseous and shaky. Maybe taking an antacid would help? Sero was your friend, he was just looking out for you, it wouldn’t hurt to skip class and hang out in his room, would it?

Your stomach twinged, and another wave of nausea bubbled up inside of you. That made up your mind. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get in trouble, it’s your fault!” You conceded, smiling as Sero pumped his fist in the air.

“Yeah! Hangout time!”

“But -“ You paused, biting your lip. This was an awkward thing to say to him would he think you’re a bad friend? “Can you uh… well, can you not do anything like….. weird?”

You hoped he knew what you meant by “weird”.  

“Weird” was touching your friends in intimate places, or having them touch you.

 “Weird” was watching porn together, asking your friends which part they thought was the sexiest. “Weird” was the feeling that arose whenever Sero approached you, the sinking of your stomach, the gross taste in your mouth, the cold sweat that broke out whenever he asked if you wanted to “relieve some stress” with him.

“Of course, I’d never do /anything/ to you that you wouldn’t like. I’m your friend, (Y/N), and friends take care of each other.” Sero assured you, letting go of your wrist to give your shoulder a reassuring pat. You exhaled in relief, smiling back at him, before Sero started moving again, motioning for you to follow him. “Now, let’s go get to helping you feel better.”

——

Sero pulled open his desk drawer, urging you to “Go ahead and get comfortable man” with a gentle nod of his head towards the bed. You let your backpack slip to the floor, sighing when the heavy weight left your shoulders. Sero hadn’t made his bed that morning, but  you figured he probably hadn’t been expecting company.  

Smoothing out the blankets, you took a seat, watching your black-haired friend sift through his desk drawers, looking for the antacid tablets he had promised. 

 A triumphant “Aha!”  signaled that he had found them, holding the little bottle up high as he turned towards you. But  the male didn’t offer you the bottle, nor open it to measure out the tablets for you. He shook it,  but there was no familiar noise of pills rattling inside, instead the two of you were met with silence.

“Aw, shit, I’m sorry (Y/N). I guess I used them all up.” The empty bottle was placed on the desk. “But I have another idea that might work, if you’d like to try it?”

You shrugged,  hand coming to poke at your stomach “It’s okay, don’t worry. I can just go to the nurse-“

“C’mon, that’s on the other side of campus. You really gonna walk all that way? Let me help you out.”

“Really, I’ll be oka-“

“Naw, I found something you’ll probably like - It’s a good flavor.”

You could do nothing but blink at your friend as he plopped down beside you on the bed. He was holding a bottle, one that looked almost like faceewash? But he had said it was a good flavor - did he want you to eat it? You summed all your thoughts up eloquently -“What the fuck is that?”

Sero shook the bottle before he popped open the top, squeezing a gelatinous goop onto his pointer finger.

“It’s just something that tastes good, y’know? Like uh,” He thought for a second  “Jelly! Or like a Gogurt but less sweet. Might help your stomach to settle down.”

Of course Sero would still eat Gogurts. He probably had a stash of them somewhere that he saved for after he smoked, when he got - you had learned from Mina what it was called - the munchies. He offered his pointer finger, obviously wanting you to taste the goop;  you did nothing but stare at it.  

“Don’t be like that, c’mon, try it! It’s good, I promise.”

You weren’t swayed by his playful urging. And you definitely weren’t going to lick that stuff (whatever it was) off of Sero’s finger. Realizing you had no plans to move, Sero sighed, before bringing his finger up to his mouth and popping the digit in to suck off the gel.

“I swear it tastes good, you’ll like it. Here, give me your hand?”

The goop was room temperature, thick, kind of like aloe vera. You brought your hand up to your face, touching your thumb to your pointer finger to feel the gel Sero had squirted onto your finger. It smelled faintly like artificial strawberries, a bit too sweet and unnatural, similar to the fake strawberry scent of a bad candle. You tried not to wrinkle your nose. Hesitantly, you swiped a bit of the gel off your finger with your tongue, smacking your lips together as you savored the flavor.

“Haha, I was right, wasn’t I?” Sero laughed as you licked the rest of the sweetness off your finger, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Yeah, so shut up, you Gogurt eating baby.” 

Sero rolled his eyes as you stuck your tongue out at him. “I knew you were gonna bring that up! Let it go man, Gogurts absolutely rock.”

You ignored his statement, eagerly sticking your hand out so Sero could give you more of the gel. Despite its suspiciously artificial smell, the gel actually wasn’t too bad.  A surprise, but a welcome one nonetheless. Sero held out his hand.

“Ah, wait, I wanna try something.”

With a questioning look in your eyes, you watched Sero toss the bottle to his side, watched the male scoot backwards, spread out his legs. He reached for his pants, started unzipping them, and that’s when it clicked.

“Sero, I can’t believe you, again? This is so weird and so gross, I’m not touching your penis. It was fucking awkward the first time, and I’m not doing it again. Go find some other girl to - to do whatever it is you’re doing!”

Outburst finished, you huffed, cheeks flaming, ready to grab your backpack and stomp out of his room. The nauseous feeling was back, your stomach tight and legs wobbly.

Sero burst out laughing.

“Jesus (Y/N), do you even pay attention to the videos I send you? I mean, “penis”, really?? No one calls it that except for like, sex ed teachers or weird perverts.” You sputtered in indignation, irritated firstly at his nonchalant manner, secondly by the round-about way the male accused you of being a pervert. 

Before you had a chance to open your mouth to defend your word choice, Sero continued.

“I thought it was clear “what I was doing” when I brought out the lube. It’s like you’re not even trying to get comfortable with sex stuff. I’ve been putting all this effort into being a good friend, trying to make sure you won’t get made fun of for being a prude. I help you not look like an idiot when you don’t know what Denki’s saying when he talks about how his latest lay could deep throat. I’ve offered to teach you how to kiss like, a thousand times. Seriously, I’m just trying to help you out, and you’re acting like I’m trying to hurt you.” Sero buried his head in his hands.

“I…… That’s not….” You trail off, distinctly reminded of the last time you were in his room, when you hadn’t known what to say and ended up with your hand on Sero’s crotch; the ravenette talking you through what was happening in the porn he was having you watch. It hadn’t been pleasant, but it had been informative. You hadn’t learned much, but you knew what anal was now, so…. there’s that.

“I’m doing my best to help you learn this stuff, but if you won’t even look at the videos I send…”

You knew Sero was just trying to look out for you, but you don’t remember ever asking him to teach you about sex. You weren’t sure you wanted him to.

“Look, Sero… I just feel like this is a bit too much. I don’t wanna…. Well, I don’t want to…. y’know…”

“Fuck? You aren’t ready to get fucked so good you cry? I get that.” Sero interjected, meeting your eyes with a smirk before you could look away. “It’s really intimidating your first time, but I wasn’t going for that.”

You lifted your head. “You weren’t?” He had been unzipping his pants, what else could he have been getting ready to do? It’s not like hanging out with a friend required nudity. At least, in your experience.

“Of course not, I know you couldn’t handle something like that.”

That stung. Did Sero think you were weak? What even was going on - he was sweet one second, and then almost mean the next. Backhanded comments and rude suggestions,  you wished he was teasing. Maybe you were reading this wrong, and he was just teasing you? Him and Denki got a kick out of flustering you when the three of you met, and every time they ran into you after that, even after you joined their friend group.

“I was gonna show you how blowjobs work, and it’ll be easy since you like the taste of the lube.”

Appalled, you jerked away from your friend, eyes widening. “Woah, woah, I just said I don’t want-“

“-To fuck, I heard you.” Sero assured you. “But this is - it’s not even sex, it’s a blowjob. C’mon, it’ll be okay, blowjobs are easy.”

He was grabbing the bottle (which you now knew held lube) and shuffling his pants down, along with his boxers. You didn’t have time to protest before his cock was out, twitching in the cool air of his room. Sero hissed at the temperature difference of the lube as he squirted a generous amount of it into his palm, wrapping his hand around the reddened shaft.

 A few quick strokes left his length glistening, covered in the gel, applied so generously that a few drops rolled down, dripped onto the wiry black pubes at the base. Sero licked his palm messily, doing a poor job of cleaning off the excess lube, urging you to crawl forward and kneel between his spread legs.

“Here, see? It’s fine. We’re not even gonna think about deepthroating or face-fucking, alright? You go at your own pace.”

You felt sick. But it’s not like Sero was forcing you to do this - he wasn’t shouting or holding you down; his posture was relaxed, easy smile showing off his dimples. You didn’t like the sound of “facefucking”, and you knew what deepthroating was, and you were relieved Sero didn’t expect that of you. Taking a deep breath, you scooted forward, pausing before any part of you came into contact with the black-haired male.

“I don’t know…. What….?” You whispered, afraid of your own voice. You were blushing so hard, you wanted to cover your face, but that would just draw more attention to the fact that you were beyond embarrassed, flushed and sheepish. You’d really rather not do any of this, but Sero was right - it wasn’t sex, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Just one friend helping out another, right?

“Just start out slow, y’know? Try to lick all the lube off.”  

His suggestion seemed easy enough, so you leaned forward, darting your tongue out to hesitantly lap at his cock. You were met with the pleasant taste of the lube, able to detect an underlying flavor of salty sweat. It wasn’t horrible.

You grew bolder, letting your tongue loll out of your mouth to lick broad stripes up the shaft, making Sero groan and fist his hands into the blankets by his hips. The sound made your insides twist, but you were fine - this was fine.

“Aw, you’re doing good. Mm - you can try putting a little bit in your mouth if you want. But watch your teeth, dicks are sensitive okay?”

You put the tip into your mouth, trying to make sure your teeth didn’t scrape or bite. Running your tongue around the squishy glans, you jumped when you felt Sero’s hand on your head. But he didn’t grab, push you down further or hold you in place. The ravenette let his hand smooth over your hair soothingly, petting at your head they way one would pet a cat.

“Fuck, can you - can you try sucking on it? That’s how you give a real blowjob.”

It was hard not to gag, hard to draw your thoughts away from what you were doing with your mouth and the soft, tight skin you were rubbing with your tongue. It felt weird, you felt weird, and you weren’t sure it was in a good way. But you wanted to try your best, not leave Sero hanging. You remember what he had said last time about teasing bitches, and you were afraid he might think you were leading him on if you stopped now..

Breathing through your nose, you hollowed your cheeks, creating a tight suction around the head of Sero’s cock. When you sucked, his dick jumped (it was hard to keep your mouth wrapped tight around his dick - you hadn’t been expecting it to move), and Sero patted your head softly.

“Yeah, just like that. Keep going.”

You did, rhythmically sucking at the glans, rubbing your tongue around the spongy head, popping off occasionally to lick up your excess saliva before it could roll too far down his length. Sero became increasingly more vocal, low moans and blissful sighs leaving his lips in between his gentle instructions.

“You, ah, you remember what we did last time? When you used your hand?”

Drawing back, you nodded. “A hand job.” 

“Mmhm, good job. Do that around the part that’s not in your mouth, yeah?”

Tentatively, you wrapped your hand around the base, cringing at the slick feeling of too much lube and your own saliva. You gave the shaft a long, slow stroke, before fitting your mouth over the top again, suckling hard. 

Sero let out a throaty groan, encouraging you to move faster, tighten your grip just a bit, suck a little bit more of his length into your mouth.  His cock jumped again, once, twice - and then warmth spurted out of the tip. 

You gagged immediately and pulled your mouth back and off his length. Before you could remove your hand, Sero trapped it under his own, using your palm to jack himself through his orgasm, abs tight and head tilted back, his dark eyes closed in bliss.

When you had given him a handjob for the first time, the male had cum, but the mess was (mostly) contained by his boxer briefs. 

Thick streams of whiteish fluid (cum, you knew from the few videos that Sero had forced you to watch) streamed out from the tip, slowly bubbling over and coating your conjoined hands, making everything even messier.

Sero gradually released your hand, letting you pull back from his body, trying not to cringe in disgust at the stickiness covering your hand. You wanted to wipe it off, clean up - now that Sero had orgasmed you were going to run to the locker rooms and scrub yourself in a hot shower.

But as Sero panted, uncaring of the mess dripping to his sheets, he caught your gaze with his own, giving you a lopsided grin. “That was really good (Y/N), you’re a natural.”

The praise reached your ears, but you didn’t feel the little spike of pride that you normally associated with being complimented. 

“Uh… Thanks, I guess.”

Sero reached over to his nightstand, snagging a pocket-pack of tissues, pulling out a few for himself, tossing one to you.  You scrubbed at your cum-covered hand, sopping up the mess before lobbing the soiled tissue into the wastebasket by his desk.

“Okay, um - I’m gonna go now, I guess I’ll see you later.”

How did one leave gracefully after such an exchange? 

Sero’s hand shot out (thankfully now clean) and grabbed your ankle, swiftly pulling you towards him across the bed, causing you to fall onto your back, squeaking in shock.

“Hold on! You’ve got me off twice now, it’s bad etiquette if I didn’t try to return the favor.”

“No! No, really, I’m okay!” You held out your hands, leg wriggling to free yourself from his grasp. “I don’t mind, it’s okay!”

Sero cocked his hand, slowly beginning to rub his hand up and down your calf, in a mockery of a massage. “I know you’re okay, I want to make you feel great. I’m good at this next part.”

He winked, the hand not rubbing your calf coming to pull at your school skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties. You whined, trying to push it back down, cover yourself, but Sero clicked his tongue, easily batting your hands away.

“Don’t be shy baby,  you got nothing to hide.”

“Sero, this is really making me uncomfortable - I don’t -“

“Shh, hey, you know I would never hurt you. I’m your friend, and I only want what’s best for you.”

Your panic was rising, blooming in your chest like a heavy flower, petals dropping and falling to your stomach to dissolve into acid that boiled into nausea. But that was just nerves, right? 

Sweat was already pooling on your back, slicking up your hands, making your hair cling to your forehead. 

Sero was your friend, but this was starting to feel a little unfriendly. But you didn’t have time to think when his hands were pulling down your panties, exposing your cunt to his hungry gaze.

“Damn, you’re real pretty.”

You squirmed, opened your mouth to protest, but Sero was hefting one of your legs over his shoulder, opening you up for easier access to your folds. He was going too fast, this was all going too fast and you couldn’t-

Long fingers swiped along the outside of your pussy, sending a twinge of sensation (pleasure?) up into your tummy.  They stroked up and down, spread your folds, tapped around the puffy pink skin until they came in contact with your clit. With a gasp, your hips involuntarily bucked, chasing the sensation. Sero grinned at you.

“See? It only gets better. Let me take care of yo, it’ll all be okay.”

His fingers continued to pet you, slowly collecting wetness as it seeped out of your pussy, shame coloring your cheeks and making your arms curl across your chest, as if to hold yourself. Sero didn’t seem to mind, not when he was so focused on touching you.

He used his other hand to pat around the bedspread, looking for the lube he had so carelessly dropped earlier. When he found it, you heard the cap flick open, and then the cold gel was squirted onto the top of your slit. You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to keep your hips from jumping forward when Sero massaged the lube onto your pussy, using three fingers to smush and spread the lube around.

It felt exquisite.

Your thighs were tensing, short, little spasms of the muscle each time his fingers came into contact with your clit, and you could feel your pussy pulsing, oozing out wetness. Breathing shakily, you whined when Sero traced a single finger around your hole, teasing.

“I’m gonna finger you open, alright? You look so sexy like this, letting me make you feel good.”

His finger entered you slowly, a long, steady press. It was uncomfortable, but not exactly unpleasant, and smooth due to the lube. You wanted him to wait, to let you adjust to the intense sensation, gather your senses, but the ravenette kept steady, drawing his finger out at the same pace before pushing it back in.

Sero’s thumb rubbed at your clit, swiping back and forth, smushing the little nub and making you (to your embarrassment) moan. It felt good, the nausea in your stomach fading as the pleasure built.

Next thing you knew, Sero was fucking you with two fingers, then three, increasing the pace on each addition.  Your hips were bucking wildly, thrusting down each time his fingers pushed up, fucking yourself on his long, slim digits.

“Sero, Sero, ah, ah-“

You cried, and your friend swore under his breath, before his hand left your cunt empty. Opening your eyes, you barely had time to look at the male questioningly before he was grabbing your hips, flipping you over onto your stomach. You squirmed, able to feel your hole clenching and unclenching rhythmically - you felt unusually empty.

“Sero?”

Something hard and hot was pressed against you, Sero leaning over you, his legs on either side of your own as he pulled your hips up and back, putting you on your knees.

“Calm down, I’m only gonna put in the tip. It’s not sex, no need to worry.”

The tip? 

You realized what was happening, why he turned you over, what was pressing up against your folds, what the male mean’t by “just the tip”

“Wait!!-“ You thrashed, breathing heavily, clawing at the sheets to pull yourself forward, away, anywhere but pressed up against your friend.

But Sero was stronger than you, had your hips in a bruising grip as he pressed forward, his cock breaching your hole. He kept you still as he thrust shallowly, keeping to his promise of “just the tip”.

It was bigger than his three fingers had been, and the stretch burned. It quickly simmered to a slow build of pleasure in your tummy, ramping up when a hand snaked around your hip, coming to roll and pinch and slap at your clit gently.

“Sero!” Whining, you couldn’t stop your hips from moving, pushing back towards that delicious friction against your clit, the gentle thrusts just barely entering your cunt. You didn’t want him to go any further, but your body craved for more.

The male seemed to sense this, or maybe he was just too wound up, but on his next thrust, he went too far inside, kept on going, pressing, rutting inside your until he was buried to the hilt.

Sero had officially gone too far.

“This is-“ you gasped as he rubbed your clit feverishly, interrupting your thoughts., distracting you from the burning stretch of his entire cock being plunged into you. It was a struggle to regain them again. “Sero this is too-too far. It’s wrong! Stop!”

He laughed, his throaty voice trailing off into a groan.

“If it’s so wrong, why are you about to cum? Girls can’t cum if they don’t want it.”

Horrifingly, he was right - you were about to cum. The pleasure was building and rising, it wouldn’t stop. You had no time to breathe, or to even cry as Sero began hammering into your cunt, energetic, chasing after his own pleasure while speeding you towards your own.

Each thrust hit deep, his hips twisting on each thrust so his cock /swirled/  up against your walls as he pushed into you. It was entirely too much, and yet he wouldn’t stop.  He was moaning and swearing behind you, puncturing each push of his hips with a “so good baby” or “your pussy is so tight, fuck.”.

You didn’t know what to focus on.

Sero shifted, and his next thrust hit something deep inside of you, and you couldn’t help but wail as you came. Sero groaned as your pussy squeezed him tightly, his thrusts increasing in speed until he pulled out, furiously jacking his cock over your back.

You barely even flinched when you felt warmth drip onto your skin, where your shirt had ridden up.

No longer held up by Sero’s strong arms, you collapsed forward onto his bed, confused, relaxed, filled with countless emotions that you couldn’t even begin to identify. Sero flopped down beside you, utterly spent, panting heavily. There was silence between the two of you as your breathing evened, coming down from your high. You felt exhausted.

“Sex feels really good, doesn’t it?” Sero broke the silence, reaching over to rub your shoulder. “I’m sorry about going so deep, guess I got kinda caught up in the moment, y’know?”

You didn’t.

At this point, you didn’t even know what to feel.

Didn’t even know what to do.

[ranveer--singh]

Wash my soul

A/N - I been debating where to post this, on my fic blog or here. So after contemplating i decided to post it here. Now i want to thank my lovely sis @lawsandother who listened to me rant the idea, send her tidbits and then she finally beta this for me. Thank you so much ily. 

Tags - @lawsandother @avsensio @demivampirew @iloveyouyen @littlefreya @captainbigdy @yespolkadotkitty​ @chamomilebottom​ @madbaddic7ed​ @dangerouslovefanfic​ @fishcustardandclintbarton​ @hell1129-blog​ @ellixthea​ @luclittlepond​ @ladyreapermc​ @penwieldingdreamer​ @hnryycvll​ 

It's 4 pm, on a miserable day in June. Nisha sat comfortably on the sofa, with a blanket covering her legs. She had a cup of tea with a few biscuits on the coffee table, while she took her iPad and started to read the new chapter.

Her boyfriend Henry was upstairs, in his makeshift office attending a few business meetings via zoom. This gave her the opportunity to be by herself and read her chapter. Nisha sipped her cup of tea, eyes slowly moving left to right taking in each sentence. 

Rain started to pour down hard making Nisha move up from her IPad to see out the window. It had been a few very hot days, the gardens needed the water. She pulled the blanket further up, covering her chest as the rain and winds now got her feeling chilly. 

Nisha went back to reading, the thing she did a lot more in the lockdown. She was so far enjoying the chapter, it made her laugh, awe, and cry in the space of 10 minutes. Now came the steamy part of the chapter, Nisha braces herself by taking a few swigs of her tea.

It started slow, with lots of kissing, touching, and exploring one another's bodies. Clothes started to come off, getting Nisha to push the blanket off her. Then she read the author describe the man's cock, making her think of her boyfriend's.  How big, thick, and all in her mouth it was last night. 

Reading the female character rub her hand up and down his cock, got Nisha feeling tingly in between her legs. Looking at the corner of her iPad she saw the time, knowing Henry still had another 40 minutes before his meeting would be over. 

She moved her right leg on top of her left one, squeezing it to stop the sensations. She wanted to save it all for Henry, her wet clit all for him. Nisha took a few more swigs of her tea, grabbing a biscuit to eat. She enjoyed the female character taking her time with the cock.

This brought memories to last night, Nisha took his big thick cock inside her mouth. She squeezed her legs again, to stop the tingling feeling increased. Few more lines before the character sucked the cock, Nisha bit her lip imagining Henry's.

The chapter started to pick up, with more kissing, touching, and fingering the clit. The male character put his tongue to good use, lapping her wet pussy dry. Nisha felt her clit get warm, she needed Henry to come fuck her. She slipped her jogging bottoms off, spreading her legs so she could feel how wet she had become. 

Moving her panties to the side she slipped two fingers inside. Nisha had now rested the iPad on her other leg, still able to read. giving her hands the freedom to touch herself. She took her fingers and started rubbing up and down as she read each sentence. Her mouth let out a gasp, wanting Henry's fingers instead of hers. 

Her eyes scanned the words, biting her lip as she moved her fingers up and down in a faster motion. Keeping her eyes fixed on the iPad, she read the next paragraph of the male character going down and licking the clit with his tongue. Nisha yelped, needing Henry to help her with the burning sensation building up in between her legs. 

Nisha now regretted reading the chapter, it got her horny but her boyfriend was busy with meetings. So she kept rubbing herself, moaning loudly, getting herself off. She didn't notice that Henry had walked into the room now with his hands crossed across his chest.

He just stood there, biting on his lip as he watched her getting herself off. His eyes move to stair at her long dainty fingers rub her wet fold. Henry grinned, the familiar way she came had just happened. Her back arched, her face looking at the ceiling as her legs shook, fingers coating in her juice. 

Nisha couldn't help the loud noise escaping her mouth, Henry watched as she slowly came down from her high. Her body started to relax, a huge smile appeared on her lips dreaming of the aftercare he would give her. Henry would wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest. So she could rest her head on his chest, hearing him breathing softly. 

He would wrap his arms around her, rubbing Nisha's arms which helped soothe her to bed. Henry coughed, drawing the attention of Nisha, who turned around to see his gorgeous blue eyes. A blush crept on her face, it wasn't the first time he had caught her masturbating while he was busy or out for a run.

"Babe," she chimed, slipping her panties on now walking towards him. Henry chuckled, looking at her with a beautiful glow on her face. "Did your meetings finish early," Nisha said staring at him in the famous blue tank top 

"Yes, meetings ended early because Lauren wasn't feeling well. Which worked in my favour, it is a pleasure to see you come down from your high," Henry chuckled, looking down at Nisha who was smiling, giving him a wink.

"Hope she ok, give her my regards babe," she spoke being concerned for the Witcher's producer. "My fingers only helped a small fraction, nothing beats your tongue, fingers, and thick dick." Nisha giggled looking at Henry, who was rubbing his palm in slow motion.

He knows exactly what he is doing, playing with his hands which got Nisha tingling, some cum trickling down her leg. 

"What made you so hot that you couldn't wait for me," he spoke looking her deep in the eyes wanting to fuck her this instance. 

"You being busy with work stuff, I was horny and had to entertain myself with my book and fingers," Nisha spoke, sticking her tongue out at him. 

"Well I'm not busy now," he chimed, his eyes looking hungrily at his girl. Henry gave her no time to respond, pressing his lips on hers.  Nisha moved her hands to grip his arms, they were petite little things but able to grab hold of as much as she could to stop her from falling.

She gripped his arm again, finding it hard to hold on. Henry was big guy, since his role in the witcher he had worked on making his arms bigger. Though Nisha loved them, she sometimes found it hard to wrap her hands around. 

The sultry moans escaped Henry's mouth making her body shiver. Nisha squeezed his arms for support, feeling her legs turn to jelly and could fall. Henry moved his lips off her,  his hands still on her face, looking down at his gorgeous girlfriend.

"Hmmm, you smell good," Henry said inhaling her scent. 

"Shut up, I smell of cum and coffee that I drank earlier," Nisha said hitting his arm. Henry chuckled, poking her stomach making her laugh. He loved hearing her laugh, it was as if he heard some beautiful music playing in the background. 

"Come with me," Henry spoke in a very low tone, making Nisha tingle. She linked her petite hand with his, feeling tiny next to him. He took her back to the couch she was masturbating last. "Sit down," he said in an authoritative tone. 

Nisha sat down, biting her lip remembering just minutes ago touching herself on this very spot. What was Henry going to do, she hoped he would ram his dick inside of her. Her pussy was feeling damp under the material and she needed to be freed.

"You've been a naughty girl today kitten," Henry said and grabbed her ass up to give it a smack. Nisha yelped, him smacking her ass once more. "Next time come find me and I will make that cunt never need to use your fingers again," Henry spoke, spit coming out of his mouth. He grabbed hold of the hem of her panties, pulling on it to make a slight rip.  

Henry used his force to rip the panties fully off her pussy.

"Spread your leg kitten," Henry chuckled, biting his lip watching Nisha spread her legs wide enough to show how wet her pussy was. "Kitten already so wet for me," he chuckled going down to inspect it. She knew he wasn't going to give it to her straight, Henry was going to make her wait for it because she disobeyed him. 

The anticipation was making her grouchy, could he not just touch her already. Henry grabbed her foot, placing a soft kiss from the base of her foot all the way up. He moved up slightly, his scruff now scratching her skin, this was one Nisha's favourite sensations. 

Henry started to suck her inner thigh, scraping the skin with his scruff. This was making her moan, wanting to kick him off and do it herself. Yet she loved being teased. He sucked her sweet spot just near her pussy, making some nice marks for her to never forgot him. 

Nisha moaned, feeling that bite on her inner thigh. She loved it when he plays rough with her, marking her body showing his love for her. He moved across to her other leg, kissing, sucking leaving more marks. Henry could feel her legs move a little, needing him to touch her wet pussy.

"Babe," Nisha said sweetly, her hands moving to rub his arms up and down. Henry ignored her pleas, concentrating on her sweet spot near her pussy. "Baby please," she yelled, her voice cracking showing how much she yearned for dick inside her. 

"Shhh Kitten, all in due time," Henry said chuckling at her. He looked at her pussy seeing how wet it became. Henry patted her pussy, making her squirm before she yelped loudly as his long big fingers slipped inside rubbing her vigorously.

He moved his fingers back and forward causing friction. Nisha felt like she was about to burst, her hands squeezing her boobs for support. Henry knew exactly what he was doing, as soon as she was about to cum. He slipped his fingers out of her dripping wet pussy smirking at her.

"Fuck you," she screamed needing to cum right this moment. Henry chuckled, he loved his feisty woman, wondered what got her so worked up. 

"Now now kitten, no need to be rude," he said pushing his joggers off those thick thighs. She watched as he quickly took his boxers off, freeing his erection. Henry gave himself a rub, looking at Nisha like she was his prey.

He grabbed her ass to bring her even closer to him. Henry pushed her legs wider, before slowly pushing his dick inside. Nisha smirked, finally she was going to be able to cum. He slaps his thighs against hers as he continues to thrust. 

Nisha breathing started to get heavy, her mouth yelling incoherent words in both English and Hindi. Henry smirked, pressing down on her hips. He loved hearing Nisha speak in her native language, especially when she would whisper words in his ear.

"Kitten look at me fucking you," Henry snarled, making her shiver and look down at his balls slamming into her vagina. Henry moved his hand up to grab her boob, squeezing it for support. The room was now getting humid, Nisha enjoying how the dick felt inside of her. 

Henry moved his left hand down to give her vagina a rub, helping get to the edge quicker. This really did tip her off, because only moments later her body started to shake. You can see she started to cum, his finger rubbing circles which was the added bonus. 

Nisha screamed, grabbing his arms and squeezing them tightly. She could feel her legs buckle, cramping up as her body started to twitch. Henry watched her walls get tighter,  her breathing heavy and she couldn't contain her loud moans. 

Cum started to spill out of her pussy uncontrollably. Henry bit his lip watching it trickle down her thighs, some shooting onto his chest. He thrusts himself deep inside, hearing the cum as his dick moves in and out. Seconds later he came, filling her up nicely watching her eyes close and her head looking up at the ceiling.

Henry smiled, looking down at her. She looked stunning, the sweaty glow, her smile told him Nisha was the one for her. 

"Curious, what got you so horny you couldn't wait for me," Henry asked, crooking his neck a little curious to know.

"Can I read it," Henry spoke with a curious expression on his face. He was intrigued and wanted to read for himself what got Nisha horny. She looked at him, biting her lip, shoving up from him to grab the iPad.

Henry watched as she typed the passcode in, opening the app to show him what she had read. Nisha smiled, not nervous as she handed him the iPad already onto the smut. 

He slowly moved off her, sitting down on the empty space on the sofa ready to read. She watched his eyes scan the screen, waiting for his thoughts on the chapter. Nisha could see a smirk forming, making her pussy tingle. 

"So," Nisha spoke softly, making Henry put his hand out signaling he was still reading. A smiling Nisha could tell he was enjoying it from the way his eyes sparkled to the smirk. 

Henry had finally finished the chapter, not saying a word. He closed the iPad, putting it down on the coffee table. Just turning his body to now face Nisha. 

"Come on, don't keep me waiting. What did you think," she rambled, excited to know did he even like it, was it vanilla for him, was it not his style. 

"Kitten come sit on my lap," Henry seductively spoke like his character Geralt. He patted his thick thighs, indicating Nisha to come sit on him. Nisha didn't hesitate, shifting herself to his lap. Her hands squeezing his thighs, making her pussy burn for him.

Henry leaned down, moving her hair to one side, so he could see her sweet spot. No warning whatsoever, he nipped on the skin, making Nisha hiss loudly. He sucked, bit down on the soft spot making her wet all over.

Henry pulled away, leaving a mark to show how much he loved her. He looked down at her with a huge smirk.

"That was hot," he chuckled, pointing to the chapter he read. "But not as hot as fucking you my love," Henry said, grabbing her boobs and giving them a squeeze. 

"Maybe we should read some more together," she said in between squealing. Henry gave her boobs another squeeze, loving the idea of sitting naked with his girlfriend and reading erotica.

"Want to find me something kitten," he spoke in a low tone. This got Nisha shivering,  wondering what new piece could read together. Until she remembered the story she read from @littlefreya blog while he was filming the witcher. It made her cum for hours. She grabbed her iPad, finding the story, both sitting comfortably on each other, passing time by reading this erotic story.

Half way through, the iPad was shut, Henry carried her in his arms to the bedroom where they had the most sensational sex. 

[jasmine-the-fox]

I’m her adopted sister!!

Okay so fun fact: I actually thought of this be a story with chapters. But for now i’m going to make a little salt fic of it, focus on the MariJon fic and then once it’s completed i’ll work on it.

Marinette loved Jasmine, she is Jasmine’s little sister... Well not really, Jasmine was adopted into the family at the age of three, Sabine and Tom had been trying hard to have a child and failed badly so they adopted Jasmine to care for... But only two years later when she was five they found out they were going to have a child.

They were shocked when they told her, no she wasn’t sad because they would love this baby more than her, no she wasn’t angry either in fact she just told them she was fine with it if they sent her back now that they would have a child, which wasn’t happening at all no matter what she thought, they kept her and called her there daughter even if she wasn’t related to them by blood... Making her happy to be part of a family.

She helped the whole time, in the bakery, with Sabine when she needed rest, baking (making her then create her own little popular sweets that only come out in limited amounts for a day and sell fast) she cleaned and even helped set things up for her little sister... And then Marinette Dupain-Cheng was born, Jasmine held her while sitting in a chair making Tom and Sabine see clearly that the girl was going to be protective of her dear little sister which made them have her promise to care for her.

Now years later, Jasmine left there home, sure she came back once a month for a week to make her limited baked good but that was to also see her family and enjoy some time with them before she leaves again to do her own thing in life, of course there would be times when she wouldn’t be able to be back for certain events but she still sent postcards to let them know how she was doing while being away from them... Mari sometimes worried her sister wouldn’t be back someday because she died.

Then she became Ladybug...

It was by accident, Jasmine had sent them a postcard of when she was coming back but the post office failed to deliver it (they delivered it to Adrien’s place by mistake and have yet to deliver it to them once they got it back) because of this Jas walked into Mari’s room as she detransformed... Making the hero have much to explain to her sister and parents (Jasmine told their parents) because of this there parents worked hard to help Mari leave to transform and save Paris from an akuma.

And then Lila Rossi entered their lives...

She was a liar that much was obvious, but no one in class seemed to care about finding out the truth, she still remembered the day she made a presentation for the school about her sister’s book work and Lila pulled them all (except Chloe) to leave claiming she knew everything about Jasmine, then when came the results of the test miss Bustier made them all retake it because they failed completely on Jasmine... And instead of going to Mari to ask to show them her presentation... They turned to Lila to explain why what she said ended up being wrong... With only Marinette and Chloe having amazing results.

They ended up failing the test two more times before their teacher forced them to listen to Mari’s presentation for the lesson instead of there usual lesson, what was worse was that Lila claimed she helped Mari do this presentation (which Bustier heard and was disappointed for them to not ask Mari) because of this while some (Max, Adrien and Sabrina) passed the others still were under the needed grade but principal Damocles gave up on them and made there final grade... Making parents call and visit to demand answers on the grade.

Chloe was furious at them for not even talking to Mari the whole time for help on the whole thing and simply listened to Lila... Not even Adrien helped and simply smiled and sided with Lila, they were just done with it all as Chloe had Mari, Kagami and Luka come to her hotel to celebrate their grades with junk food and movies for the night, they didn’t care if Lila claimed Mari made them mess up on purpose because there teacher would schooled them for not being there for the presentation in the first place so it fell down the drain quickly.

When Mari’s birthday came, Jas made her go around parts of Paris that to them would be special (the hospital she was born in and places they had fun at) when Mari came back to the bakery with her three friends... Lila watched her hug Jasmine who called Mari her little sister, she hated her even more and then began forming a plan to make the class hate there class president enough to want her to step down.

It took some time but then it happened “Why isn’t Mari asking if my measurements changed!? She should be asking for them by now!” Alya said, Adrien was about to speak as Nino tried to calm her down when Lila began “She must be getting ready for her sister visiting” she claimed making them all turn to her in surprise “I saw her once a few months ago, I wasn’t sure about it until she called Mari her “little sis” so it surprised me” she explained making them all talk to one another about this sister.

Alya was beyond pissed, some friend Mari was... Not even telling her about a sister, because of this sister she wasn’t going to get a new dress for the party Lila was having... So much for trying to have Mari be able to come to the party by secretly making the dress for Lila to wear, this just shows how much of a bad person Mari really was “I tried talking to her about Mari, but she threw water at me and pulled her sister inside while calling me a bitch” she explained making them all grow pissed at Marinette “After school, were going to confront her at the bakery” Alya decided making them all nod.

But it didn’t happen with the class...

Ivan, Rose and Juleka had to go to band practice, Max had to work on a new game he was developing, Alix and Kim had practice, Nathaniel had to meet up with Mark for there comic, Sabrina and Mylène were going to a movie, Nino had to take care of his little brother, Adrien had a photoshoot and Chloe was who knows where... Leaving Alya and Lila to see Marinette for her actions, Lila was fake crying and Alya was telling her how they would all be friends in the end... And then Lila gasped while looking at someone heading for the bakery, the girl looked five years older than them and was weirdly dressed meaning she wasn’t from Paris... But she scared Lila “She’s from a gang, the tattoo there is on every gang members... She must be going to the bakery to kill them or something” she lied making Alya quickly call the police.

In a matter of seconds the police were there cuffing Jasmine who was demanding answers as Alya smiled with Lila at how they were hero’s “LET MY DAUGHTER GO!!” Sabine shouted as she and Tom ran out with Mari right behind them “Why are you arresting my sister!? The mayor told you my sister was to be never arrested!!” she claimed making their eyes widen as Chloe came out angry at the police and demanding answers “Miss Alya Cesaire called us claiming she was a member of a gang from her tattoo” an officer explained making them all turn to Alya who stood there panicked “That is no gang tattoo” Kagami said as she walked over “It’s a japanese kanji that means love, a gang tattoo would be known to the police all around the world” she explained making the police glare at the girl.

Alya was then yelled at by Sabine and Tom, Mari was demanding with Chloe for answers, Kagami and Luka were helping Jasmine inside while the police were calling it in as a fake call “But Lila-” she turned to where the Italian was but... She was gone and that left Alya to suffer “Lila said she was from a gang! She was scared because she knew about the tattoo she had!” she explained making Chloe sigh “Lila lied to you, Jasmine got that tattoo just recently because she wanted one for years! And like Kagami said if it was a gang tattoo it would have been in a list for the police to look over and see how dangerous the gang is” she explained as the police forced her in there car to be driven home... While Lila watched the whole thing from her hiding spot.

Alya was brought into her home as the police gave them the fine Alya would need to pay for the call she put in making her parents shut down her blog, take away all of her stuff, ground her, no dates with Nino and she would need to babysit her sister’s until she paid the fine... She was not happy, it takes her months to pay it but her friends all helped a bit to only take a few months, but she brought up Lila each time “She told me the girl was from a gang! But that was Mari’s sister! There was no gang and Lila just left me to be punished!” each time she spoke this her friends tried to defend Lila and bring up how the girl would do something in return.

But slowly they began to believe Alya more... And hate Lila slowly that not even Adrien could fix it, instead he kept quiet knowing full well that Lila was going to be akumatized all because Mari never told them about her sister in the first place, he tried talking to her but her trio of friends forced him away and in class miss Bustier forced him to focus on the lesson or to stay with his team saying he couldn’t change teams (he always wanted to be teamed up with Mari or be in her team to talk) she did this because she knew about the incident at the bakery and what Adrien told Mari about Lila’s lies and was furious with him... She warned the other teachers and principal so they knew Lila lied.

Then Mari didn’t come into class, it was odd but wasn’t something new because the girl was often late for class... But then she came in with a woman “Class, please pay attention” there teacher said making them look “Everyone, I want you all to meet my sister Jasmine Dupain-Cheng... The famous author I spoke about during my presentation” Mari said making their eyes widen to her words as the girl smiled to them... And then glared at Alya “I remember you” she said making them all turn to Alya “You almost got me arrested because you thought my tattoo was from a gang!” she shouted making them all look to be shocked as Alya spoke “Lila said you were! She claimed your tattoo was from a gang and claimed you were going to kill them or worse!” she countered making them all turn to Lila.

“That’s not true!” she countered making them all confused “I headed home because my mom wasn’t doing well and I wanted to help her! So I couldn’t have claimed that!” she explained making them all turn to Alya “Alya, go to the principal’s office with Lila to talk about all of this” miss Bustier spoke making them stand... And leave with Alya glaring at Lila, Mari explained things about her sister before Alya and Lila came back and sat down to listen to Jasmine “I was adopted into the Dupain-Cheng family when I was three. They never thought to be able to have a child so they adopted me, but only two years later Mari came into our lives and I grew up caring for her” she began to explain making Chloe smile remembering that story.

“As time went on, Mari and I began to discover our own passions. Her’s was fashion and mine was writing stories, with time I began to do what I love and began to have success in my work... So I left Paris to travel and write more about what I love making me known for my work” she continued making them all listen to the story, Alya wasn’t doing that... Instead she was looking next to her as Lila smiled at the fact Alya was being punished for her actions and not Lila “Of course I come home once a month for a week, I couldn’t leave my family forever so i’ll come back each time to see them when I can... Sometimes more then a week if i’m lucky” she said making Mari giggle.

“I’ll come back each time with a gift for Mari from my travels and will hang out with her to know how she’s doing in class, at home and even with her dream” she explained making them all get interested with this story as Adrien wondered more about this girl “Sometimes, i’ll be asked to work with someone in something else then books. Like movies, TV shows, fashion and other things and... Sometimes i’ll accept but most of the time I refuse because it’s out of my comfort zone” she said making them wonder what was out of her comfort zone in the first place.

Jasmine kept talking a bit more before allowing the class to ask her some questions, some were about books she wrote and what got her to write them, others asked if a certain collection will soon get the next book out soon, then there were some asking about something she spoke about in her life then there was Adrien and Lila “What are things you didn’t work in?” the model asked making Jas look at him for a moment “Fashion really, anything with a photoshoot for clothes, shoes or anything really I just refuse because it does nothing for me” she explained making him think she was just being a baby and was just about to speak until Lila cut him off “Why did you keep yourself hidden from us until now?” she asked making her look at Lila confused.

“Hidden? I was never hidden from anyone” she explained as Caline tried to make someone ask another question “But Mari never spoke to us about you. So why only bring you up now?” Lila asked making Jas look at her with anger “Mari can talk about what she wants to who she wants... And it’s easy to tell you were someone she didn’t want to talk to and talk about me to” she said making Lila look at her in shock as there teacher ended the whole thing and allowed Jas and Mari to head home as she began her lesson, but Lila wasn’t done “Is it because you were disappointed in your own sister? I know I would be if I had Marinette who bullies me for a sister” she claimed and that made Jasmine snap.

She went towards Lila with a menacing glare, Mari worried what her sister might do while there teacher hoped it wouldn’t cost her job as then Jasmine grabbed Lila by the collar of her shirt making the students freak out “Now listen here bitch! You don’t know us at all so don’t go claiming something like that!” she said making Lila look at her with true fear “You listen good cause i’m only saying this once... Do this again, hurt my sister, insult her, get her in trouble or even someone hurts her because of you... And i’ll make sure you lose everything!” she said making Lila quickly nod as she was then dropped “That goes for all of you!” she said as she pointed to everyone in the class (but Caline and Chloe) and then she walked out... Without noticing the purple butterfly coming her way.

She was akumatized into Guardian who had the power to destroy someone’s life if they got into contact with her attacks... It was the hardest battle Ladybug and Cat Noir ever had (cause the cat wasn’t even there!?) so Ladybug had to call in BumbleBee (Chloe) Viperion and Arashi (Kagami) to help (there the new names they gave themselves with new looks) and defeated Guardian soon, of course Jasmine was sorry but Ladybug told her it was natural to be akumatized, Alya tried to get an interview but BumbleBee stopped her with Arashi who told her that they would never give her an interview.

Once at the bakery, the group of friends spoke together as Mari gave her sister the fox miraculous (when Mari brought in the Miracle box, Trixx claimed she sensed someone compatible with her who doesn’t come here often and once when Jasmine came to visit, when she left Trixx told Mari her sister was compatible) Jasmine became Kitsune and together they became an amazing team, of course Cat Noir was taken out of the team and his miraculous was handed to someone else and very soon the city of Paris no longer had Hawkmoth or Mayura to fear now that they were defeated.

Paris was safe... For now

[ohmylove--mydarling]

It’s true what they say about your early-to-mid 20s. This particular span of ten blissful, wanton years is the only time in your entire life where you will ever feel truly invincible. And yes, you absolutely better enjoy it while it lasts. Lithe-bodied, hopeful, capable of both pounding an entire handle of rail vodka all while making it to your 8 am sociology class the next day, they’re a little like your teen years, with one prized difference. Your early-to-mid 20s are blessed with the seemingly novel, universe-bending element of freedom.

And freedom doesn’t simply mean the ability to make stupid decisions without the fear of getting grounded. It also means the freedom to live in an idyllic sort of vacuum, where you’re surrounded by friends – if we’re being honest, the family you get to choose – and cradled in this serene philosophy, this security blanket of an idea that hangs in the air but is never outwardly or directly expressed, that this, all of this, will last forever. That these people will always be there, they will always be around, floating with you in this bubble, as free and easily accessible as a coatrack or your neighbor’s WiFi. Always holding your beer, always holding your hair back (while you puke, or maybe while you cry), always holding your hand. Always at the very least in the peripheral, if not the forefront, of your vision.

During these years you know everything, and yet somehow you know nothing at all.

***

Like most of the sorority sisters I grew close with – and as is probably true with anyone else who pledged a very tiny chapter at an equally tiny school – I don’t remember much about how I met Taylor beyond the first night she “rushed.” Rush is an interesting social phenomenon, for multiple reasons. Picture a gaggle of young college-aged women who typically spend every waking hour of their day primping and glossing and adjusting for the sole purpose of the male gaze. Except this time, their attention is entirely drawn to a smaller group of girls (not that much smaller of a group, if we’re lucky this semester) that they want to impress instead. A frenzy of compliments and genuine interest, a dormant volcano of estrogen and hot girl energy and reciprocation, madly overflowing in a span of two hours over something as innocuous as an ice cream social or tie-dying a pile of crewneck t-shirts (I think we did the “hippie” recruitment theme every other semester). It is one of the very best parts of what is an often problematic-at-best Greek culture, and this rush was no different.

I’m not sure what my first impression of Taylor was, other than that we obviously had the same first name, and oh yeah, she was beautiful– effortlessly pretty but not the least intimidating. I could approach her and talk to her and not feel like a complete toad. She was a little soft-spoken, incredibly polite. I think she wore navy blue. And an aura of genuine kindness seemed to radiate from her with the soft glow of candlelight.

After rush ended and Taylor chose to join our ranks, where she belonged, it felt like she had been in my life from the very beginning. And, though this idea was never spoken, it felt like she would never leave.

***

In a sorority, there is sometimes a tendency, however unintentional, to categorize your sisters, and to turn to certain ones for different needs at different times. There’s the sister you study with, the sister you go on your morning run with, the sister(s) you are always down to party with. There’s the sister who makes amazing grilled cheese, the sister whose dorm is the only place you’ll binge-watch Supernatural. When you’re riding the waves of a breakup, you got mad options: There’s the sister who brushes your hair as you ugly-cry and choke on your own snot, the sister who pledges to hook you up with her brother’s hot friend the moment you’re ready for a rebound, the “dump him sis” sister who yanks your phone out of your hand in the middle of what is probably a very unwise text and threatens to stab him with her eyebrow razor if he so much as looks at you again, the sister who makes you forget the whole thing ever happened, that it ever even mattered.

There’s the maid of honor sister, the future fun wine-aunt sister, the sister you have on speed-dial even though speed-dial isn’t a thing anymore. There are the sisters who teach you how to do winged liner, how to hide a hickey with coral lipstick and concealer, how to chant, how to chug, how to memorize the Greek alphabet and the …numbers (at least for the ones who are most definitely going to ask). There are the sisters whose weddings you bawl at, whose babies you hold and immediately love as an extension of the incredible mother who brought them into this world.

And there are the sisters who teach you grace and humility, strength and resilience, kindness and self-love. The sisters who changed your life for the better the moment they put on your letters, the sisters who hand you the mirror and force you to see yourself just as they see you.

The thing about Taylor was that she was all of these. The whole package. Everything good, all in one.

***

Though our friendship was at its strongest during my college and immediate post-college years, Taylor remained a calming, grounding presence in my life. She married an incredible man who loved her for all the reasons we did and plenty more, and I went to her wedding and cried. She got a job as a nurse at the local hospice, a profession she seemed put on this earth to do. I could picture Taylor in her element there, literally surrounded by an entire ocean of grief, serving as an island of hope, a beacon of light and love for those who so desperately needed all those things, the things she provided us without question even when our lives were comfortable. Soon after – and this thought still makes something in my throat ache – she brought life into this world, a beautiful daughter with both her mother’s eyes and her genuine love and gratitude for life, a joyful curiosity coloring everything she did.

Taylor’s life, we knew, was finally the one she had always deserved.

***

I won’t, and can’t anyway, get into the details of Taylor’s passing. I can say that nothing about it was expected and literally every detail about it is horrific. Personally, it feels like a robbery, like something was taken from me; but on a grander scale, on a scale that actually matters, it is simply heartbreak. Riding the waves of grief not only for my own loss, but for a husband, a child, a family, a community whose lives were upended and whose hearts were crushed by something that simply should not have happened in a universe where they say justice and kindness exist.

Frankly, this grief is unlike any other I have experienced. It has a way of blanketing everything around me, like mosquito netting. It is as thick and choking as a cloud of black smoke, permeating my clothes, filling my lungs, making it impossible to see, so all I can do is desperately cling to whatever gives me the slightest amount of peace, no matter how fleeting. As someone who has always struggled with my faith (and moments like these certainly do not help), I try to remember Taylor’s. It brought her comfort and strength, the belief that God loves everyone so naturally she was going to love everyone, too. And all I can hope is that this belief of hers, this faith, manifested in her final moments. That there was a light, a voice, a presence, something there that reminded her that she was loved. That we knew she loved us, that her family will never be alone, that we will desperately miss her. That her legacy is as wide and expansive as all the oceans.

Her funeral is in a few days. Her funeral, a concept still as foreign as my own.

***

At this point it’s probably clear, but the things I want people to remember the most about Taylor are, quite simply, her kindness and her intrinsic ability to love. She was kind without questioning. She loved without strings or conditions, tirelessly and endlessly. At a time when an icy, impenetrable layer of cynicism seemed to blanket so many of our hearts – including my own – Taylor managed to crack it a little, to let just enough of her light and her warmth in to make a change.

I teased her often – probably too often –  for her unbreakable habit of bringing home literally any stray cat she ever found (and then naming it something either really cute or painfully dumb, like “Moe” or “Cheese”). But even as someone who unapologetically hates cats, and more honestly as someone who spent most of her 20s thinking that if I hardened my exterior and never let love in I was somehow protecting everything it surrounded, I viewed this habit through a secret lens of adoration. I adored Taylor’s heart. I hoped to absorb some of it, its ability to love everything, to find beauty in the darkest and loneliest spaces and to also force people to see it and feel it for themselves.

I felt Taylor was going to be around forever. It was a selfish thought. I hadn’t physically seen her in over a year (there was a pandemic and she was a nurse and I was subsumed by my own now meaningless world). I am filled with an omnipresent regret that I have no control over. I miss her so much my heart feels swollen and achy with a pining, a real grief.

There is no happy ending to this, no concise, comfortable, heartwarming way to wrap this all up in a pretty package, though Taylor was the type to want everything to have a good ending. So instead I cling to the memories, the photographs. Our banquets, homecoming, Lana del Rey, cherry blossoms. The way she rapped that entire A$AP Ferg verse one night. The way she looked in her wedding gown. The way she talked about charity and good deeds. The way she talked about God. Her love, no matter what transgression I made or no matter if I failed to give it back. I hope to love harder now, and if I can, it’s because Taylor taught me how.

I love you, Taylor. DZLAM.

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Chapter 13 (The Innocent)

It was back to school and Elizabeth’s last doctor’s appointment for her check up. It was a new year and junior year for her so she hoped that it would be one of the best. She found Monse and Cesar holding hands about to go downstairs so she caught up with them and walked next to them while Ruby, Olivia, and Jamal caught up and walked with them as well.

“It’s a new year,” Jamal said.

“And a new day,” Monse said with a smile.

“Finally, we can get back to normal,” Ruby said.

“Turner!” The football coach called out.

Lunch time came around and the crew was walking to find a seat and Jamal was freaking out, “guys! I have eyes on me,”

“Me too. post-shooting lookie-loos are out in full force,” Elizabeth groaned.

“Elizabeth, Ruby!” a girl called out. Elizabeth pulled down her shirt to show the gunshot wound while the girl took a picture, “thanks,”

“I don’t know how long I can take being Bullet Girl and Bullet Boy,” Elizabeth sat down at a lunch table.

“I just wanna get back to normal,” Ruby sighed.

“Normal?” Jasmine appeared, “Baby, you ain’t ever been normal! You got that special sauce flowing through your veins. And probably all over that juicy nalga,” Jasmine laughed while Elizabeth and Olivia tried to hold in their laugh, “Elizabeth said that I can sit with y’all,”

“Shoot, I forgot dessert,” Ruby tried to leave, but Jasmine wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh, you sit. I got you. Sugar free sweets for my super-sweet treat, coming right up!” Jasmine walked away.

“I’m sorry, but ever since my brush with death, I made a bargain with the big man. Or woman. Let’s just say the universe is gender neutral. But that part of the deal was to work on my karmic energy, be a better person so shit don’t go sideways,” Elizabeth explained.

“Couldn’t you choose to save the rain forest instead?” Monse asked.

“See? I knew this would be an issue,” Ruby said.

“Speaking of commitment, we need to make one. What are we gonna do with the cheddar? We need a plan of action ASAP. First thing after school, all-hands meeting. This kind of gouda can get ripe real quick. I’m not sure we can handle it if people start sniffing around,” Jamal said.

“Cheesy, but I like it,” Ruby said.

“Yes!” Jamal and Ruby fistbumped.

“Sorry, y’all keep me updated. I got a shift over at the restaurant today and I need the money,” Elizabeth shrugged.

The group nodded, “right now, the money as is makes us targets. We need to move quickly to wash the cash so we can use the money and help Cesar survive.” Monse added and Cesar agreed.

“Ok. So where are we meeting?”

“My dad’s coming home this afternoon,” Monse said.

“So we can’t do it at Monse’s and my house is pretty tense post big-debacle, and Cesar never hosts. So, Ruby, it’s you.” Jamal reasoned.

“No. Your mom doesn’t want me around,” Cesar said.

“Oh, my mom’s got a job all week, so we’re good. My house after school,” Ruby said.

Everyone agreed, but Elizabeth, “sorry, y’all. I got work after school, but let me know what you decide,”

After school, everyone went their separate ways and Oscar picked Elizabeth up at the next street, driving to the restaurant. The two talked about nothing in particular, just enjoyed the other’s company until they got to the restaurant.

“Thank, baby,” Elizabeth kissed Oscar’s cheek, “you’re probably going to be busy later so I can take the bus or call an uber,”

“Nah, if I am busy, one of your three Santos can pick you up,” Oscar scoffed, “you trippin’, you ain’t gonna use public transportation,”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “whatever, estupido. I gotta go, bye,”

Elizabeth got out of the car and ran inside the restaurant, tying her apron strings behind her back, but the manager of the restaurant, Noah, came up to her, “Elizabeth, I need to talk to you in my office,”

“Ok,” Elizabeth hesitated going, but did it anyway, “what happened, sir?”

“It is to my understanding that you have suffered a gunshot wound,” Noah stated.

“Yes, sir,”

“Interesting. Well, seeing from where you are from, I am going to have to release you from this establishment. I don’t want any of your…” Noah grimaced, “gangs to come in here and destroy the reputation of this restaurant,”

Elizabeth was there, speechless, but a fire erupted in her as she started yelling, “are you frickin’ kidding me?! I am the hardest worker here and I do well from ‘where I’m from’. Now I see you for what you are. A typical white racist asshole who doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone else but himself, so no, I am not fired. I quit,” Elizabeth threw her apron at Noah and walked out. She saw Oscar still there so she jumped in his car, “let’s go home,”

“Que? Don’t you have work?” Oscar looked at her confused.

“No! I will explain it. Let’s just go!” Elizabeth seethed so as soon as Oscar started driving, she started talking, “Noah, the manager, fired me today because I got shot and he didn’t want any ‘gangs’ to ruin the reputation. That place doesn’t even have five stars on Yelp so reputation my ass,”

“What?” Oscar looked angry, “he fired you because you from Freeridge then?”

“Basically,” Elizabeth groaned, “Now I don’t have a job since Amazon is only a summer job. I have to find some job now,”

“No, you’re not. I got you,”

“No, Oscar. I am an independent woman that can handle her shit. I don’t need your money. Can we get tacos right now? I want to get some carnitas and carne asada tacos,” Elizabeth pulled her hair from the ponytail, “I can probably apply at the taco joint and at Dwayne’s, maybe,”

Oscar grabbed her hand, “bebe, you don’t need two jobs. Let me help you and ma out,”

“No. I got this. I can do this, I mean I’ve done this before. I can work weekends and after school, all nighters aren’t new to me, anyway. Less time with the squad, but that doesn’t matter,” Elizabeth rambled, “no, no. I got this, yeah,”

Oscar scoffed, but didn’t say anything until they got to Tio’s Taqueria. The two walked in and Marc Jimenez, the owner, walked out and greeted the Santos leader, “Hola, Spooky. What can I get for you today?”

“Let me get dos carnitas tacos y dos carne asada tacos,” Oscar nodded.

“Hello, sir. My name is Elizabeth Hernandes and I was wondering if I could maybe get a job here? I can help with anything at minimum wage,” Elizabeth shuffled her feet.

“Si, Elizabeth. My worker got deported not long ago so when can you start?” Marc asked.

“As soon as possible! I can work after school until closing every other day,” Elizabeth smiled.

“Muy bien. Spooky, it’s gonna be $5,” Marc said to Oscar, but Elizabeth jumped in and shoved a five dollar bill in his hand, “gracias, chica,”

“No. Give it back,” Oscar glared at Elizabeth, “I got you, Eli, so take your money and sit down,” Elizabeth stood her ground and glared right back, “fine. Take her money, I’ll make sure to tell a certain someone that you were planning to get two jobs. She won’t like that very much either,”

“Fine,” Elizabeth took back her five dollars and sat down at a table, “stupid boy thinks he can do all that shit,” a plan formulated in her head as she smirked and put the bill in her back pocket. Oscar sat down with her shortly after with the four tacos, “Thank you, Spooky,”

Oscar looked at her suspiciously, “what are you up to?”

Elizabeth looked up at him innocently, “what are you talking about, lovely?” Oscar scoffed, but still held a smile as he shook his head. Finally the two were done and on their way to Elizabeth’s place since Cesar texted her that he wasn’t gonna be in until night. The two settled in the living room, Elizabeth laying on top of Oscar as they lay across the couch, watching whatever was on until Elizabeth’s plan started in motion. Elizabeth looked up and started kissing Oscar enough to get him distracted and slowly put the five dollars in his front pocket.

They heard keys jingle through the front door so they scrambled to look normal, Elizabeth sat next to Oscar with her legs thrown over his as Oscar just sat with his arm around her. The door opened to reveal Leticia coming in with groceries so the two stood up and quickly helped her put them away, grabbing a couple snacks that she brought too.

“What were you guys doing?” Leticia asked the couple.

“Your daughter tried to distract me so she could shove five dollars in my pocket for the tacos I bought her today. Tell her to take it back,” Oscar held up the bill, “nothing gets passed me, amor,”

“Eli, get your money back right now,” Leticia said, “now, how was work?”

“I quit, but I got another one at the taco joint around the corner,” Elizabeth said.

“Why did you quit? I thought you liked working there,” Leticia questioned.

“Oh, nothing,” Elizabeth said as Oscar scoffed, “don’t lie, Elizabeth. She quit because the manager is racist. Talkin’ about bringing in gangs in the establishment or some shit,”

“Oscar!” Elizabeth yelled, “why did you snitch?!”

“Oh, you want me to snitch? Ok. Ma, Eli is going to get-” Oscar started, but Elizabeth covered his mouth, “Eli is going to bring home some tacos and barbeque once her new one job starts,”

Oscar pushed her hand away, “she’s getting two jobs. One at the taco joint y Dwayne’s Barbecue,”

“Elizabeth Hernandes, is that true?!” Leticia yelled.

Elizabeth began slapping Oscar, but Leticia took off her shoe and started hitting Elizabeth, “are you estupido? You are not supposed to be stuck here! You’re supposed to go to UCLA and get out, to get a better life outside of Freeridge! Don’t you dare get two jobs. I said I got the bills and things also stop hitting mi precioso,”

Elizabeth sat down on the couch, “wow, you love Oscar more than me. Ma, please. I want to help and I can stay up or do it during my electives and other classes because we all know I can ace it without even trying,”

Leticia sat down next to her, Oscar sitting on the armrest, “Mija, I am your mother. I am supposed to provide for you, not you provide for us. I will allow you to have these jobs, but I want you to use what you earned and go on a shopping spree or do something for you,”

“Thank you, mama. You do know I am still going to pay for some of the bills, right?” Elizabeth giggled as she hugged her mother.

“Oscar, talk some sense into this puta,” Leticia unwrapped Elizabeth’s arms from around her, “now, I am going to sleep. Buenas noches,”

“Buenas noches,”

[restingdomface]

Lol y’all gonna fuckin hate me so I’m watching Pan’s Labyrinth and when I first saw the underworld I was all ‘oh it’s so Burial Grounds chic’ and my brain was all ‘lol so what if they built under the BM instead of on top of it’ and now I’m making an AU where it’s sorta a mashup up ‘underground city BM’ and one of those ones where WWX finds a way to completely close off the BM to anyone else only for it to open again around canonish times (tho this one is three years before canon actually) and so like. Okay. So.

It’s different. Cause. WWX didn’t focus Entirely on demonic cultivation so much as on the mountain itself. Trying to purify it. As well as make life better for the Wens there. And so. When he comes out, instead of how when he’s 22 he looked decades older in the books??? Y’all this bitch 32 and he looks somewhere around 97 okay he’s old as shit and yet???? All the other people there??? Look young and healthy as they went in (healthier in some cases, tho A-Yuan is still the right age don’t worry but they remark that he’s a very healthy boy) and everyone who showed up (y’all when WWX cracked the wards to let them back out of the BM it was he loudest shit in existence there’s like five armies worth of people around the BM rn cause they think WWX is finally coming out for revenge or something they got no idea okay lol) and WWX comes down with A-Yuan (who’s still named Sizhui in this one but this time it’s cause WWX missed his fam and LWJ) and everyone at the bottom is all ‘who this old bitch???’ But then Jiang Cheng is all ‘WEI WUXIAN WTF’ and they’re all ‘ooooooh’ because holy shit that old guy is WWX.

So anyways they go back to Yunmeng cause it’s the closest and WWX and A-Yuan ride in a carriage with Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling (everyone else there is healthy and can walk or something, but A-Yuan is A-Die’s little space heater cause he’s old af and he’s always cold and baby boy is warm and comfy) and it’s kinda awkward talking with JYL cause he keeps calling Wen Qing and Wen Ning ‘Qing-Jie’ And ‘A-Ning’ because those are basically his siblings now and Yanli don’t wanna admit it but she’s hella jealous at WWX with Another Big Sis (triggered) and she’s just all ‘okay so I guess I’ll talk about the fact that bro bro has a kid now instead’ and they talk about their kids (there also ended up a random Lan child in the carriage with them he seems to be LWJ’s little cousin and who even brought him here??? But Jingyi’s making friends with the babies so okay) and it’s nice.

Anyways. Y’all gonna hate me because. It’s still. Gonna end. In WWX’s death. Not exactly the same way as before. Like he’s legit gonna die of old age in a few years.

But the FUNNY part???? The part I’m losing my shit over and forced me to make this post so I can explain a joke that’ll make zero sense otherwise????

Okay so WWX/LWJ happens before WWXZ dies of old age. Of course it’s gonna happen. LWJ doesn’t care about his body and WWX is still himself (over there teaching children a ‘cool trick that’ll make that stuffy old Lan Qiren shit himself’ and asking for more spices in his food) and so that happens.

But one day. Lan Wangji (now Fuqin) is asking little Wei Sizhui (dhbeebirnrr) why he’s always so happy even when WWX isn’t looking. He understands what it’s like to lose a parent, and he wished that he would have known it was coming before he lost his mother. He wished that he could have shown her more joy, even if it took away from happiness elsewhere. So he wants to make sure A-Yuan understands what’s happening and that A-Die is dying.

And you know what that little shit says to him????? ‘It’s okay, when he’s gone, we can plant his soul in the Burial Mounds like a radish and he’ll grow a new body’.

Like. Dheijddnkfmdd PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR SHIT THAT LITTLE FUCK IS COMING BACK AFTER????

Anyways. It’s got major character death yeah but WWX comes back to life and is an adult by the time Sizhui is 20. Bonus maybe: maybe Lan Wangji doesn’t want to be around him too much while he’s still in the process of growing (doesn’t want people to think he’s a creep, maybe personally isn’t completely comfortable with it) and so Sizhui (when he’s there) helps Wen Ning and Wen Qing take care of shotgunning-aging Wei Wuxian and now it’s his turn to cuddle stupid baby WWX and plant him in the ground like a radish. Also A-Ning is a very good caregiver and teaches WWX all about zombies and Qing-Jie tries to convince him that wounds should be treated this time with very little success.

Anyways. Sounds angst but it’s actually pure fluff and humor lol. The only angst really happens when the characters think that WWX will die and Stay Dead lol as if. Mostly WWX acts old and cuddles his baby and tells people ‘back when I was a youngin-‘ while JYL and JC yell at him and all the kids love him and it’s. Great.

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

glade playlist

got two likes on my post so that’s literally 20% of my readership saying hell yeah fuck yeah glade playlist. i am a servant to the masses. here it is, w descriptions under the cut.

some warnings: don’t expect this to be good. this is Vibes Only and an excuse to talk about Him. the order of the songs tells no story and thus does no sin. skip the songs you don’t like because it makes no difference at all.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZJRrektFybq9vksjnWGnh?si=jhSi_lBeThqaB74HO1UrQA

1. Above The Clouds Of Pompeii by Bear’s Den

Just don't cry Hold your head up high She would want you to She would want you to You said stay in the car and wait There's just some things I have to say Don't you know I miss her, too I miss her just as much as you So my father and my son As you end what she's begun You'll lie patient by her side With roses red come lilies white

this came from a magnus/julia playlist originally and it fucks, but it’s more here for the Vibes than anything else. if I had to explain it, I’d say this is immediately post like. lent coming home and telling glade that she doesn’t remember anything about him. this is the vibes of red being down for her nap, blissfully unaware that the motherfuckers have left and glade sitting down heavily on the couch of the home they shared and finally, tiredly, burying his face in his hands as he processes the fact that when lent first saw him, there wasn’t a spark of recognition in her eyes, and how much that hurts even if she’s promised to come back to him anyway. thats the vibes.

2. Best Intentions by Hodera

I guess we'll just stop talking then We can forget this ever happened 'Cause it's obvious I can't just be your friend I'm going in circles 'cause I only have one paddle out here alone Got back to shore 'bout 2AM I grabbed your jacket on the boat dock And I pulled you in and we kissed It was so dark, I found your lips Only because I felt your breath I know that soon I will be fine You left this void the size of pines lake Now I'm filling it up one cup at a time And if I knew that was the last time I'd see you I might have said Hey Mary, that was one crazy summer I know after this we'll never see each other I'm old enough now to know nothing lasts forever The only thing I ask is please Remember every detail of this moment Because once you close that door you'll never see me And some day you might remember When we drove out to the lake And stole a boat to see the moon eclipse go by

this one is a break up song so it’s here for the Vibes. i’ve kind of been envisioning this as the song glade would have written/sung if lent decided that she’d rather have amaunator than him, when he told her that he was a criminal. it’s about a summer romance that didn’t go far enough, and it fucks majorly, and it comes from a universe just a little bit to the left, where glade and hymn met but never actually took all the steps glade and lent did.

3. New Religion by The Heydaze

A city of strangers, the streetlights, they change us We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more The saints and the liars, the dealers and buyers We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more But somewhere there's a light A sign that it's alright I find it by your side People get lost in repetition Working and watching television Hard to wake up in the morning It's hard to wake up in the morning I'm watching you dancing in the kitchen I could call you my new religion You're waking me up in the morning You're waking me up in the morning, yeah

IF YOU LISTEN TO NO OTHER SONG FROM THIS PLAYLIST. LISTEN TO THIS ONE. sometimes I listen to this song and I get stuck in a loop where it’s the only music anyone has ever listened to because I love this song so much. anyway this is a REALLY good gladelent song. Vibes of them falling in love that first time, and lent’s recovery when she’s started getting her sight back, probably after she takes relentless as her next virtue name, and glade finding her dancing and singing to herself in the kitchen they now share, and just watching and loving her so much because he forgot how good it was to see her happy.

4. Gray Flowers by The Gray Havens

They cried, We told you stay away, From that crazy color, Turn around if you don't we'll break you, And you don't have anyone to save you, He said, She needs me to stay, Cuz gray can take her sorrow, So I will die tonight so she will know, That gray will stay in the color-code, For my love I will die you know, But before I do let the record show, That I brought her flowers every day, And she loved them, She loved me she'd never felt that way, So if you feel you need some gray, That's ok child, cuz you know you've just got to Ask, And I'll come back

this ones about love transforming a society around them. idk i like it. the townspeople who hate the color gray are the crownsguard @ gladelent. is that anything??? who cares not me it’s on Here one way or another!

5. Two by Sleeping At Last

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached And what a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you up

this one is about loving someone despite not loving yourself quite yet and like. it’s a good one for pre-fall gladelent. glade was a squatter and a thief trying to provide for himself; he wasn’t exactly his own biggest fan, but love happens when you aren’t expecting it sometimes, and There He Was, head over heels for a woman who could have been (and should have been) arresting him. it is simply. a good love story.

6. Ezra by Becca VanDerbeck

Someday you'll find a Place where you belong Somewhere to settle down and plant Your roots, and grow up strong Oh, I hope that you'll remember all My silly little songs Honey, please remember these Few things in all you do Won't you always love your neighbor Wear a smile, and tell the truth Don't be scared of what you don't know And don't be afraid to lose Cause there’s a lesson there for Learnin', there's a lesson if you choose Oh and listen, kid, I promise I will Always see you through Cause Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Oh Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do

this is a glade and red song. i actually sing it as “red, girl, I love you, I love you, I do” bc I so strongly associate it with Them. it’s just a good, sweet song! glade dances red around the living room while singing it and she babbles along and maybe she sings it at him when she wants to be danced, because she’s a baby with both fangs and tusks and its SO hard to use words but humming a vague melody and clapping at your daddy gets you what you want so why would you Talk? smh. (someone needs to stop me before i get really emo about this tradition continuing into red’s childhood and adolescence and how when she’s upset glade will hum it to her when he hugs her and uh oh..... misty about this now................. they are a Fambly.........) all his kids get their own songs but reds song is Special, I think, in this way.

7. Black Coffee Morning by Bluebiird

Just too tall to comfort Just too big to hold But I'll fit you inside my future At least that's the lie we told And it's a black coffee morning on the east side And I'm singing all the time today Cause you're saying that you love me with your big eyes But your words don't come out that way Oh, play it again for me Big bright moon in the sky And give me one more night with my baby And that'll be alright

this is a little bit of a bitter one, as the name including black coffee implies. I imagine this one as a vibes of, “my wife went out to adventure again and I haven’t seen her in three weeks as a consequence.” like does he respect that lent has a ton of wanderlust? yeah. does he wish she’d stay home safe with him so he never has to worry when he goes a few days between Sendings from raini whether she’s alive or dead? also yeah. this is the song that plays the morning after lent left for hell, after two years of being not quite satisfied with retirement. this is the song that glade wakes up to, his bed empty, because they have an agreement now that lent sneaks out rather than glade potentially having to say goodbye for a Last Time. this is red babbling questioningly at him when mama hasn’t been home in hours and glade picking her up and singing to her rather than answering.

8. Band of Gold by The Gray Havens

I'm never get'n over you No I never will be over you Yes I threw away the key That bound my heart to yours To the bottom of the sea I don't need it anymore No there's no turn'n back for us There's only movin' forward Cuz this love is a band of gold When the fire's burn'n and When the embers feel cold So when I hold you in my arms I hope you know That this love is a band of gold

note: did NOT know i had two songs by the same guys on here! nice going gray havens. this is a good marriage song. that’s the vibes of this one. staying together through thick and thin, waking up and choosing to love that one person every single day, smiling down at your wedding ring even when they’re not around you for the symbol and reminder that they love you just as much, that they made that same commitment.

9. Farther Along by Josh Garrels

There's so much more to life than we've been told It's full of beauty that will unfold And shine like you struck gold my wayward son That deadweight burden weighs a ton I go down to the river and let it run Wash away all the things you've done Forgiveness alright Farther along we'll know all about it Farther along we'll understand why So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine We'll understand this, all by and by, oh yeah

so, full disclosure, some of these songs came from my godfucking/religious trauma playlist. this is one of these songs. as such it’s? more of a Vibe than the other songs. it only kinda fits as a song of faith that things will get better even if you don’t understand why they are the way they are right now. I think of it as like. kind of glade’s relationship with faith? he hopes it’s all for a reason, that one day he’ll understand why bad shit is happening, but he doesn’t have a lot of faith in any actual god. but mostly this is just vibes.

10. How To Be Yours by Chris Renzema

You say that you love me, don't say that you love me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours You say that you want me, don't say that you want me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours I still act like an orphan I guess And my hard heart breaks to confess That even while you hold me As I cry on the floor I still don't know how to be yours So love me or hate me I'm not going anywhere Leave me or take me You still bear my signature Know me or not Seen or forgot I'm not walking out on you

lent and glade are both orphans and this is the song about doubting the love that comes your way even when you’ve not necessarily been given a reason to. it’s sung both by the doubter and the person refusing to leave them just because of that, and I think it’s nice! glade and his doubts, come amnesiac lent, that she will actually want to stay with him once she has her grace back with amaunator, and lent and her doubts, post fall, that he’ll stay with her now that she’s no longer good or righteous, now that she no longer deserves the name hymn.

11. Take Me To Church by Hozier

My lover's got humor She's the giggle at a funeral Knows everybody's disapproval I should've worshiped her sooner If the Heavens ever did speak She's the last true mouthpiece Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick", you heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well A-, Amen, Amen, Amen Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life

obligatory hozier song. it’s horny and it’s religiously themed. this is also from my godfucking/religious trauma playlists. there’s not a whole lot to say here except that I wanted some hozier on this playlist bc glades og design/concept was “half orc hozier” and take me to church slaps. next song.

12. Belly of the Deepest Love by Tow’rs

The beats of hammers felt like drums of war Killed for the words you swore From the belly of the deepest love, The hills trembling throats sing hallelujah Like the flowers on a dogwood tree Blush with blame you took for me Oh how you wish to be with me Oh how you wish to be with me Do you remember seeing the man Covered by the same blood he damned Join the song with the sky in the darkest hour I need something to hold on to Stronger than the iron that held you Louder than the roar of the crowd that day

I think this one is pretty immediately post lent’s fall too. it’s got jesus imagery in there but I think that fits. this one doesn’t have a whole lot behind it except for post fall vibes.

13. One Jump Ahead by Brad Kane

Gotta keep One jump ahead of the breadline One swing ahead of the sword I steal only what I can't afford (That's Everything!) One jump ahead of the lawmen That's all, and that's no joke These guys don't appreciate I'm broke

this is a fun little song about scoundrel!glade! I thought it fit nicely and also it makes me think about the Aladdin au slash novel Lex and I have where glade lifts something valuable (her holy symbol I think?) off of lent and shows it to her and basically says, “I’ll just keep this so I know you’ll come see me next time” intending it to be a tease and then her gripping her sword hilt and holding her hand out with this fake smile and going “or you’ll give it back Now” (because she Can’t let him get away with that) and him going “or I can give it back now! great idea!” he really Thot it would go over better. but it’s okay bc they fell in love anyway.

14. Karma by AJR

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly I've been so good, why am I feeling empty? I've been so good, I've been so good this year I've been so good, but it's still getting harder I've been so good, where the hell is the karma? I've been so good, I've been so good this year Time, I know we're out of time But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it Bye, I don't wanna say bye If only I could keep you in my pocket To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though? I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted But after an hour it sounds like complaining Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever? You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better? The universe works in mysterious ways But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me Doctor, should I be good? Should I be good this year?

similar vibes to farther along but much less hopeful and more desperate while still trying to sound like an upbeat song. this is glade telling amaunator off for letting lent go when she is nothing but Good. this is glade when he’s still a thief, going hungry because he fed his sister tonight rather than himself, asking whatever god might be listening why it was them who were punished with this because they weren’t doing anything wrong. this is glade setting the table for the motherfuckers, smiling even though it’s immediately post lent’s rez ritual, because they were the ones who actually saw her die, not him, and they’re good people who need to catch a break so here he is, getting them to joke and laugh with him while lent sleeps off her resurrection sickness in the other room.

[badstoriesaboutgoodpeople]

Finally Mine Part 2

AN: So before you guys read this I want to apologize for how long it took me to write this. I lost motivation for a while (nothing new there lol) but today was a really productive day for me so I decided to just finish it. A few notes about this story: One, the timing of this whole series is a lil awkward because these are based off real games that happened this season, and while it technically could have happened with how the schedule worked this season we’re just going to pretend there was a few weeks between the Vancouver game and the home game. Two, this is kind of a really shitty thing to do to somebody’s ex and while it’s fun to write about I would never imagine doing this in real life. I really hope you guys enjoy this!!

Based off of this series of gifs, and a series of asks a lovely anonymous user sent me that I’ll make sure are tagged under finally mine so you can find them https://pyatts.tumblr.com/post/183739792171/mzibanejad-26319-nyicbj

Word Count: 2,182

Warnings: smut, filming sex (not full out, just short clips), threesome

Translations for the French: “Merde, tu es si belle come ça, mendiant pour moi,”= Shit, you look so good like that, begging for me

“Oh mon dieu, tu es si belle, j'ai regardé les vidéos encore.....”= Oh my god, you’re so hot, I watched the videos again...

Pierre had practically begged you to fly to Columbus to watch him play the Islanders, and after the night you spent together in Vancouver you couldn’t pass up the offer. PL once again insisted on paying for the flight and hotel. You made it into town the day before the game, the same day the Islanders arrived. Pierre had told you he was meeting up with Mat and Beau for dinner, they hadn’t properly hung out since they played together in 2015. You cringed at the thought of your ex eating with, well, whatever PL was to you, especially since PL knew how things ended between you. You made him promise not to bring it up, and keep his responses brief if Mat said anything. He promised, but he also promised to bring Beau home with him for dessert. You’d seen the video, PL sent it to you one night after you asked what the wildest thing he’d ever done was. You knew Beau had wanted something to happen between you, him, and Mat, especially after the incident in his back seat. However, Mat was never willing, claiming he was too possessive over you and couldn’t watch one of his teammates do that to you. Now that he was out of the picture, well, nothing was stopping you. PL had done it before and was willing to do it again. So, it was decided that you’d meet them at the hotel where the Islanders were staying after they got back from dinner, and PL would be in Beau’s room. You went to your own hotel, and ordered room service for dinner. Soon you received a text from PL, much earlier than you’d expected. 

“Hey, Mat really wants you back. Beau and I are trying to convince him not to but I think he’s going to text you and try to get you back. Please don’t respond to him, let me handle it when you get to the hotel.”

You typed out a hasty reply promising you’d ignore it. Soon enough, you heard the text tone you’d set for Mat go off. You didn’t even open the message, knowing it would make you angry, sad, or all of the above. You just patiently waited, eating the food you ordered, until Luc texted you again.

 “Hey baby, just ordered you an Uber to Beau’s hotel. Should be there in about five minutes. His room # is 214.”

You texted back a thumbs up, and went downstairs. Once you were in the Uber it was a short ride to the other hotel, and it wasn’t until you were in the elevator that you felt yourself growing nervous. You weren’t quite sure what to expect tonight, but the nervousness was quickly overshadowed by excitement. You walked down the hallway and quietly knocked on the door. Beau answered, and quickly wrapped you up in a big hug. You hadn’t seen him since you broke up with Mat, and you hadn’t realized how much you missed him until now. He ushered you in and said something to Luc in French, before having you sit down on the edge of the bed. PL walked over and placed a kiss on your forehead before sitting next to you. Beau did the same, and moved to whisper in your ear.

 “Dinner was good, but boy am I excited for dessert.”

 “I’ve wanted this for so long Anthony, ever since I saw that video.” You couldn’t help yourself, you wanted him to know that you were equally excited.

 “Seems like everyone’s eager, what are we waiting for?” asked PL and his hands moved to the hem of your t shirt before pulling it off your body. He slipped his hand into your back pocket and grabbed your phone. He handed it to you to unlock, and once you did he opened the message from Mat. He rested his hand on your thigh and took a photo, and sent that to Mat in response. The three of you ignored the buzzing noises it made when he set it down on the bedside table before moving to slide your jeans down. He and Beau discarded their shirts and pants, and soon enough you were completely naked in Luc’s lap, back to his chest, with him leaning against the headboard. Beau sat at the foot of the bed, watching what was happening in front of him. PL had his two middle fingers buried inside of you, and his other hand had moved up to stroke your hair, and eventually muffle your moans when you began to grow louder. 

“Shhhhh, Mat’s in the room next to us. Don’t want to make him angry do we?” You shook your head as much as you could with Luc’s hand pressed over your mouth. You tried to be quiet but you couldn’t hold back a loud groan as he made you come. He ordered you to turn around and face him. He grabbed his phone from where he’d put it, gave you a look as if to ask permission, and once you nodded your head he hit record. He kept your face out of frame, showing you from the shoulders down. He brought his free hand down to rub your clit gently, and you quietly moaned his name. It was partly for show, knowing he loved when you called him Luc. 

“Please daddy,” you whimpered, and you watched his cock twitch in response. He sent the video, captioning it “guess who?” and you saw Mat’s name show up on his phone screen soon after, you could only assume that’s who he sent it to. You didn’t want to think about him right now, so you stroked Luc a few times before lining your hips up and sinking down slowly. You both let out out breathy little noises, trying to stay quiet. You moved slowly at first, rocking your hips back and forth rather than moving up and down. Beau came to kneel beside PL’s legs, leaning over to place kisses on your neck and collar bone. He left small marks that would be covered by your jersey tomorrow night, sucking an especially dark bruise into the skin between your breasts. He kissed the tattoo on your shoulder, before turning your head to kiss your lips. He bit your bottom lip gently, but didn’t move to deepen the kiss when you let out a small gasp. He pulled away slowly and moved back to the foot of the bed, explaining he was content to wait his turn. Luc began to thrust upwards to meet your hips as they moved up and down, dragging you closer to the edge each time.

 “Fuck, I’m close, please Luc please,” you begged. 

“What did you call me?” PL whispered in your ear, accent bleeding into his words.

 “Please daddy,” you said, unable to form a coherent sentence. 

“Merde, tu es si belle come ça, mendiant pour moi,” said Pierre under his breath, the French meaning nothing to you but sounding nice nonetheless. You draped yourself across Luc’s chest, not trusting yourself to stay upright otherwise. This gave him the perfect opportunity to lift your chin and force to look into his eyes. 

“Come on, Y/N, come for me.” You weren’t sure if it was the look in his eyes, his husky voice, or the way he moved his hips, but he made you come so hard your mind went blank. You couldn’t think about anything except the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Pierre brought his lips to yours to muffle the noise you made, and rocked his hips slowly as you came down. Your body felt like jello, and his voice sounded far away when he spoke up. 

“Let’s let Tito have a turn, eh?” You simply nodded your head, and PL lifted you out of his lap. You eventually ended up on all fours with Anthony behind you and Pierre still sitting against the head board. You leaned down to take Pierre’s dick into your mouth, focusing on the head before starting to bob your head slowly. You moaned around him when Anthony slowly slid into you, causing his hips to buck slightly. Anthony’s phone buzzed and he merely picked it up, and chuckled once he read the notification. 

“It’s a text from Mat. He said ‘can you keep it down over there? Some of us are trying to sleep.’” Pierre’s quiet laugh turned into a moan when you took him particularly deep. 

“What do you say we show Mat what he’s missing, hm sweetheart?” asked Anthony, and you pulled off Luc to nod. He took a video of himself slowly fucking into you, his other hand grabbing your ass and smacking it lightly. Another video showed Luc’s fingers threaded through your hair. You knew Mat would be able to see the tattoo on your shoulder, and you knew if he put two and two together he’d realize it was you. However, you couldn’t find it within yourself to be too upset about that. Soon enough Pierre choked out that he was close, and you swallowed him down as far as you could. He came down your throat with a groan, trying and failing to muffle it by biting down on his lower lip. Anthony wasn’t far behind him, and you felt him spill inside of you, filling you with his cum. He pulled out slowly, taking another video when his cum started to slowly drip down your inner thigh. You all stayed there for a minute before deciding to get up to shower. What began as cleaning you up turned into making out with Anthony while Pierre fingered you until you came again, moaning against Tito’s mouth. You slowly got dressed and made your way into the elevator and eventually into the Uber one of the boys had called for you. You eventually collapsed into the bed in your hotel room, quite frankly exhausted. You dawn you had notifications from Pierre, Tito, and Mat. You opened the one from Anthony first, a simple thank you and the offer to hang out once you were both back in New York. Then you skimmed through what Mat had sent you, not really bothering to read it properly. Finally you opened the videos Luc had sent you. You were greeted with the sight of him palming himself through his grey sweatpants. He said something in French that you couldn’t quite understand, but he sounded turned on to say the least. 

“Oh mon dieu, tu es si belle, j'ai regardé les vidéos encore.....” he hadn't sent anything else, except a black screen with the caption "you're going to be the death of me baby girl". You sent back a selfie, caption telling him you couldn't wait for the game tomorrow. You found yourself drifting off, scenes from earlier that night on repeat in your mind. The next day you didn't do anything interesting until heading to Nationwide for the game. You had your Dubois jersey on, and went down to the ice for warm ups. You thought nothing of it until the Islanders skated out and you locked eyes with Mat. If looks could kill, you'd be dead in a second. You could tell there was something he wanted to say to you but he couldn't exactly skate over to where you were standing and talk to you, so he had to settle for shooting you dirty looks. You were startled out of your thoughts when Pierre tapped his stick on the plexiglass next to you. Once he had your attention, he mouthed the words "You okay?" to you, a look of concern dancing across his face. You nodded, not wanting to let Mat spoil your evening. Your focus turned to the Blue Jackets for the rest of warmups. Once the game started you could tell Mat was angry, and Pierre was having none of it. Mat must have been mouthing off on his way to the bench, because seemingly out of nowhere Pierre took it upon himself to shove him, hard. This of course only served to annoy Mat further, and soon the two of them were tangled up, inches away from fighting. They were separated before punches could be thrown and sent to the box for roughing, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't turned on by the whole ordeal, and you didn't find the smug look on Luc's face on his way to the box oddly endearing. Columbus ended up shutting out the Islanders 4-0, and it felt like some small form of revenge watching Mat skate off the ice with a scowl on his face. You found yourself thinking bout the next time you'd be able to see Pierre on the Uber ride back to your hotel, already looking for the opportunity to spend time with him again. You could figure out the details later, talk like adults and define your relationship. For now, all that you wanted to do was stay up way too late talking to a boy you liked a little too much.

[dazzlingfantasiesblogs]

Hurricane Side Story : Christmas Decorations

Happy x Reader

Notes: Warning/Triggers: 18+ only. IF UNDER 18 KINDLY DO NOT FOLLOW ME AND DO NOT READ. Thank you. Smut. 18+.

More notes: Hey loves, I have been writing this off and as I have been listening to christmas music and when I set up my Christmas tree earlier in the week. This is a side story to Hurricane. Attached is the Hurricane Masterlist Note that I need to update that masterlist!

I am still working on a Chibs oneshot as well! :)

Tags: @samanthab983 @trippinjenni @camobighairnboots @mywhitehatisbigger @moodygrip

Also, please do not take credit for my work, or post on other websites. That is stealing.  I do not own Sons Of Anarchy, however this is a spin-off and my original work. Do not take what is not yours.

Gifs are not mine. 

The smirk across his face couldn’t be any wider. He watched as you twirled around the living room. The Christmas music blasting in the background. He laughed a bit as you hung the decorations around the house. Tinsel around the photo frames and lights strung around the living room. “When are the boys dropping off the tree?” you smiled walking up to him. “Mm.. soon Mami.” Happy grabbed your hips, pressing a kiss to your lips. He couldn’t believe how cheerful he felt for Christmas with you. Before the holiday being a nuisance since he  would have to spend money on presents.  You made this house a warm home.

Hearing a knock at the door, Happy looked outside and seen his brothers having a hard time carrying the Christmas tree you picked out a day before. Kozik walked in “Come on prospects. Fuck my sisters tree up and I will send you to an early grave.” Kozik smiled to you and kissed your cheek. Mariah Carey “All I want for Christmas” came on and you squealed. You gave Kozik the look. “Alright, Ill dance and sing this with you. Just once.” He smirked waiting for it to play and you started to sing. “I don’t want a lot for Christmas, all I want for Christmas is you!!” Kozik twirled you are the living room, holding on to your hand. The prospects snickered, Happy looked at them, causing them to shiver in fear. After the song you where breathless and laughing so hard you fell on the couch with your brother. You pointed to the prospects, telling them to set the tree in front of the large window. Kozy watched as the boys struggled. The dog walking over to sniff the tree. “No peeing on the tree Kozy.” The dog wagged his tail. Walking over to his dish, drinking water. “Thanks boys! Beer in the fridge.” The prospects smiled to you. Walking in the kitchen they each got a beer and sat down. Jax walked in a bit after the prospects finished fighting with the tree and grabbing a beer. “Hey Prince.” You waved to Jax. “Hey Y/N. Brothers.” You stood back up and started to grab the lights to hang on tree. “Babe, I gotta.. gotta go. I will be back later tonight, tomorrow morning.” Your smile faded and nodded. Kissing Happys cheek you went to your brother“You watch each other.” They nodded waving. It was odd how quickly they where leaving. Especially since you where certain you and Happy where going to spend the night decorating and then sleeping next to the tree and making love. With the club you long let go of the hope to have a normal life. Nothing about your life was normal after all.

It was three in the morning and you finished baking cookies, decorating them and set them out for Happy to eat when he got home. You finished some work next to the Christmas tree as Frank Sinatra played in the back round. Being a little sad since Happy left on your big decorating day, you fell asleep on the couch next to your little man. Kozy snuggled close as you fell asleep under the flannel cozy blanket. Happy opened the door quietly, hoping not to wake you. He seen you asleep next to the Christmas tree on the couch. He smiled seeing the whole house looking like a bunch of elves threw up festive cheer. Tip towing to the room, he hid the bag full of presents that he had bought for you on his way home from church at the club. He slid them on his side of the closet, behind clothes he rarely ever wore. He snuck back outside to the backyard where his brothers waited. They quietly worked on a surprise for you that Happy had planned.

Feeling your shoulder being moved you seen Happy standing there. “Hey babe… mmm you ok?” you rubbed your eyes, slowly sitting up. You grabbed your phone seeing the time. It was 5am and still pitch dark outside. “Cover your eyes love.” You did as told and felt a blanket drape your shoulders. He guided you to slide on your slippers and walk to the back porch. “Open your eyes.” You did and your jaw dropped. “Holy Santa’s beard!” The back yard was lit bright enough by Christmas lights, you where sure that you could see it from a satellite pic. There was colorfull lights strung around the trees, the patio lit up with small bushes that had lights strung on them. A huge ‘Winter Wonderland’ arch into the back yard. Happy held you hand and walked into the back yard even more. Looking on you seen a huge hottub. “So.. I may have went overboard and bought us a hot tub..” you chuckled seeing the tag was still on it. “You stole it didn’t you?” He shrugged his shoulders. “No, the guy owed us a favor. Said I could pick one out. So I took the biggest one. IT even has rainbow lights in the water.” Happy smirked, thinking dirty thoughts about you two in the hottub together. “Happy! This is amazing!” you jumped into your old mans arms, kissing him deeply. He smiled into the kiss and was glad you where so Happy. “You deserve every bit of it my queen. You had a rough year. With your dad bull shit, Lorenzo being an ass, me being an ass.. the club taking advantage of you… Ima.. I am sorry you had to deal with so much beautiful. Know I love you more than the kutte on my back. You are my heaven on earth babygirl.” Happy held your chin in his hands. “Aww so corny!” you looked over to see Tig, Jax, Juice and Kozik walking in from the side gate. “Shut up assholes and get out of here so I can make love to my girl in the hottub.” Happy growled out to them. Kozik walked up to you, ignoring Happy. He kissed your forehead. “Thanks sis, for everything you do for Happy, Kozy and the club.” “I will always be here for you all.” You smiled wrapping your arms tightly around your brothers body. He hugged you tightly, rocking you back and forth. “Alright all, lets get out of here so Happy can fuck his girl.” Tig spoke bluntly. “Tig, really..” Kozik groaned, not wanting to think of it happening. They all waved to the two of you and headed out. “Alright, you up for relaxing in this winter wonderland?” Happy wiggled his eyebrows. You chuckled at the childish movement. “Always my love.” “Let me go get towels. Strip naked babe. No one can see us over the fence. I will bring Kozys outdoor cott out here and his blanket.” Smiling you thought about how being domestic was a good look on Happy.  

Happy walked out with two large towels. He set them on the small table that was set on the side of the hottub. He went back and grabbed Kozys bed and laid it on the patio. The dog snuggling on it and laying his head down. coming back outside for the last time, Happy brought out two cups of coffee. He seen you had gotten into the hot tub, licking his lips instantly. “Love seeing my girl naked and wet.” You chuckled at his pun. Happy stripped his clothes off, twirling his shirt above his head dramatically. “That’s it baby, dance for me!” you whistled. Happy laughed a bit and got into the hot tub. He relaxed feeling the warm water and jets relaxing his exhausted muscles. After all, ordering prospects around was a job within itself. “Thank you Happy, for all of this.” You smiled shyly. “Of course. I could tell you where sad when I left at the time you where decorating. I wanted to do this for you.” You nodded, scooting over to sit in his lap. Pressing a heated kiss to the lips you had kissed so many times before. Each time feeling like the first to you. Happy took his wet and warm hand and grabbed you face, forcing his tongue past your lips. The feeling of his warm tongue dancing with yours felt heavenly. “Need you..” He bit your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it, to leave it puffy. You slowly lifted your self on your knees as Happy positioned himself right under you. His slid his hand down over your hips and to your ass, slowly pushing you down on him. Both of you enjoying the initial first thrust. Happy went back to attacking your lips. How the passion between over the years never faulted you will never know. As you moved your hips and slid up and down on him, you noticed Happys head fall back in pleasure. He rarely showed that side of him, letting the pleasure fully take hold of him. “Fuck.. baby..” you moaned out, you knew this was not going to last long. When love making held this much passion, you both knew it was going to be short and pleasureful. As you bounced on him more, he grabbed your hips tightly “Fuck Y/N… I cant last… You feel to fucking good..” he leveled his eyes with you. He started to thrust up into you, the water splashing all over the place as he moved his hips with yours. He press a bite to your throat and you where done for. The pain and extreme pleasure caused you to black out momentarily.

After the two of you caught your breath, you went to get off of his lap. Happy held you in place. “No love, lets watch the sunrise together in OUR winterwonderland.” You looked at the sky and seen the pinks, yellows and oranges as the sky started to wake for the day. This was a life worth living

[jiminies-ahmee]

CAR RIDES WITH BF!BTS

SEOKJIN 

seokjin is the type to play power ballads in the car 

maybe a bit of beyonce bc, y'all know our seokjinnie is diva 

and at the traffic lights ppl will literally be able to HEAR the both of you busting your lungs singing 

and you’ll have synchronised dance moves all down-packed to all the songs 

but seokjin isn’t one for EXTREMELY late night drives, bc he likes his beauty sleep 

however, he is definitely into fast food drive thrus 

he’ll make those iconic ‘hmmm’ and ‘wahhh’ noises and soon, it’ll rub off on you too 

it might be a good idea to let seokjin drive at all times bc you’ll be laughing way too hard at his attempts at jokes 

OMG 

YOU’D LAUGH SO HARD WHEN ITS RAINING AND SEOKJIN’S FORCED TO TURN THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS ON 

it’d be silent in the car for a few moments 

and then you’d break into a laugh 

and then seokjin would laugh 

and it’d just be a mess

y'all would be a mess 

a hot ass, diva mess 

YOONGI 

oh it wouldn’t be silent all the time 

but sometimes it would be 

bc either you were having a nap 

or yoongi was having a nap 

and he napped in the backseat 

it would warm your heart to hear his soft snores bc YES FINALLY your baby is getting his much-deserved sleep 

yoongi would always wake up to the smell of food tho, bc you knew he’d be hungry when he woke up 

and that sorta rubbed off on him 

when you would wake up in the passenger seat after dozing off, yoongi would have brought you your absolute favourite foods 

and even tho you didnt know it, yoongi had really gone out of his way to get it for you - just to see you smile 

bc he had quite literally gone off course and done a u-turn just to get the food for ya 

he a sweetie, not a meanie 

and there’d sometimes be some RNB or trap music playing in the background 

but it was almost always piano instrumentals 

bc even tho he wouldnt admit it to you, that instrument truly was his first love 

but it helped him find you <3 

NAMJOON  

now car time for namjoonie is inspiration time  

actually no, all the time is inspiration time  

when you’re behind the wheel, you’ll literally be having a convo with joon and he’d just be like ‘ooh’ or ‘yes’ out of nowhere  

and you glance at him and he’s got his nose in his notebook, quickly scribbling lyrics in his secret book  

(it isn’t secret to you tho bc he’s shared all the lyrics he’s ever written with you)  

and then he’d realise he quite literally cut you off, so he’ll look up at you and apologise profusely  

“i did it again, didn’t i?”  “it’s okay joonie, you can take the man out of the studio but you can’t take the studio of the man”  

he’d do that shy giggle he does with his hand over his mouth when you say that  

but other times, when namjoon’s the one behind the wheel  - mind you this does not happen regularly bc you aren't afraid to admit that you fear for you life when namjoon is the one driving  

he’d play all of those amazing and beautiful songs he recommends through twitter and when he’d give you the aux cord  

oh boy  

“this song is so good! quick, tweet it, y/n!”  “who sings this? this is littttttt”  

y’all will just be singing in the strangest of tones  but there’ll always be that one, heavenly moment when you’ll cut it out and literally harmonise by ACCIDENT   

and joon will just stare at you and you’ll stare at him before realising  

“JOON THE LIGHT’S GREEN, MOVE, OH MY GOD!”  

HOSEOK  

i think you already know where this is going  

hoseok does not sit still in the car unless he is tired  

and that is a rare event  

he’s always groovin’ and moovin’ 

even if you accidentally switch the station to some random one that’s playing ethnic music 

he’s poppin’ and lockin’ and no one can stop him someone stop me  

but anyways, hoseok is the one who ultimately brought you out of your shell  

his dancing and his aura of pure happiness has been passed onto you  and so you’re always dancing in the car too  

and you two are the type to take videos of it (obv the person in passenger seat is taking the video, don't snapchat and drive peeps xx) and post them to twitter and instagram and all that jazz  

car time with hobi is forever and always a fun time  

but honey, let’s not forget that as well as dancing and spitting fire, this sunshine can SING  

if a ballad comes on, oh boy, you better make sure that seatbelt real tight or you’re going to fly out the window  

he literally leaves you speechless sometimes with his vocals  

and you don't tell him, but you always manage to record him when he's singing in the car  

and you save them for when he’s away on tour that way you can keep hobi in your pocket and keep him close  

JIMIN  

this lil mochi, my peachy boy, is the dude that’ll look cool af in the car  

even if you two are on your way late at night to get something to eat  

you're out there wearing no paints, socks and slides and one of jimin’s shirts that are oversized for even him  

whilst ya boy is out there wearing sweatpants and a random tee but still looking fine af  

#thepowerofparkjimin  

and you’d complain about it sometimes bc he’d want to go into the place to eat and you’re like  

???? “do you see what i look like park jimin?”  

and he’d be like “yes, you look ethereal, now let’s go”  

he’d always hold your hand in the car  

and when he needed to use two hands on the wheel he’d literally grab onto your hard -0.4 seconds after his hand was free  

whenever you two would go driving together you’d always let jimin drive bc you knew he liked it and he didn’t get to do much of it during other times  

omg you’d try to be sly and snap a few pics of him bc goddamn, but he’d realise and pull the silliest faces just to make you laugh  

“yah, stop taking pictures, what are you? my personal paparazzi?” he’d tease  

song wise, i feel like it’s either really soft music with jimin or like…. hardcore suggestive music  

with soft music he’d be holding your hand and sing along quietly  

but with the suggestive music well…. he’d just wriggle his eyebrows at you and smirk bc HA ITS SO FUNNY ISNT IT  

“should i change the song, y/n? but i like it :(“  

TAEHYUNG  

oooft this boy  

he’ll call you up randomly at the most ungodly of hours asking if you wanted to go for a drive  

you’d always say yes bc why would you say no???  

and so he’d pick you up and the two of you would just drive around the city  

soft jazz music in the background bc taehyung has pretty cool and eccentric taste  

and he’d just hum along  

which would quite literally put you to sleep sometimes  

and tae would just giggle bc wow you're so cute  

but at other times - like when the rest of the world is awake - it’d be lively music  

bc tae needs to wake up and so do you  

it’d be so funny bc tae would play english songs and he wouldnt know some of the words  

and he’d just start blabbering sounds that he thought sounded similar enough to the actual lyrics  

(if this aint me with kpop tho)  

and he’d just be such a great person to be in the car with  

sometimes it’d be quiet between the two of you bc just being with one another was enough  

or sometimes the two of you would just be laughing so hard at a story tae was telling  

or sometimes it’d be a bit of a deep, emotional convo about the past or things that tae or even you just need to get off your chests  

and you loved each and every one of those moments  

bc tae made everything fun  

even if you were both bawling your eyes out in a parking lot after getting a little carried away with your deep chats, he’d fail at cracking a joke and you’d both be a giggling, crying mess  

but tae still thought you were the prettiest thing, so don't you worry a bit xx  

JUNGKOOK  

alright this boy  

sometimes the two of you would spend more time arguing over who got to drive than actually sitting in the damn car  

usually it’d be settled with an arm wrestle or whoever simply got to the driver’s seat first  

you both have a few bumps and bruises bc of the second scenario  

it’d be funny sometimes to watch kook drive tho bc he’d get a little rusty after tour and he’d just sit there in the driver’s seat completely zoned out  

“kookie, you have to switch the ignition on, buddy. we’re losing daylight here.”  

but the both of you would have this set playlist and set songs where the both of you would have individual parts  

like you’d do duets together in the car  

sometimes rap, sometimes pop, sometimes ballads  

but y’all put your all in each and every song  and the both of you would sometimes make it a competition to see who could sing better 

jungkook would sing songs trot style lmao  

and sometimes you’ll be out of breath by the time you reach your destination  

but it’s all good  

you’d also spend a lot of time in the parking lots of fast food restaurants bc foooooddd

and you’d always scold jungkook bc he’d always buy too much food but still manage to scoff it all down  

“jeon jungkook, how the hell are we going to eat all of this?”  

lol within 10 minutes the food’s all gone sis, you both scoffed it all  

“i told you you’d eat it all”  

roasting each other all the time  

and then having to cheer up a butthurt jungkook bc he took it to heart just a lil bit  

“jungkook, i’m joking”  

oh and sometimes you’d grab his hand while he was driving and he’d get  all startled  

and you’d laugh at him  

but he’d just grip onto your hand tighter till it hurt a little  

“ow!”  

“oh sorry, i just forget how strong i am sometimes”  

[idhruven]

#Shaneri

Baby Anni,

I know I still say baby, because that’s what you are to me today, one day before you tie the knot with the man of your dreams, that’s what you were the day Mamu and Mami brought you home from the third step of Vishweshwar Mahadev temple and that’s what you’ll always be. I just wanted to write this letter to you to tell you how proud I am that you’ve gone from wearing the fountain ponytails into this beautiful, young lady, taking on this big world and now you have the kindest gentleman by your side to help you do it.

Oh no! You’re getting married.

Oh, how many stories we could tell and how many secrets we’ve shared. It’s ENDLESS! The memories, the laughs, the tears, the highs, the lows.. we’ve lived them all. We’re about to experience yet another beautiful memory tomorrow as you say your vows in the Pheras and marry the man you were always supposed to find. I’ve got say a few things…

Tomorrow will not only change your life but also all of ours in the best way possible. Our little Anni will be a married woman! Remember the times we used to play ‘Ghar’ and you used to say, “I think I’ll be a pretty dulhan!” although we thought that this day would be somewhere with Sharukh Khan. But, girl, I’d say it’s even better than we imagined. Tomorrow is the big day we’ve dreamed about since we were little as I can remember and looking at the ‘Vaarghodas’ from our balconies! We always knew this day would be something special, but I have to say, you’ve made it even more that we could’ve imagined. I cannot wait to see you walk down the aisle in your beautiful sari taking your first steps down a path towards a new chapter. So, I sit here in this awful haircut that you are forcing me to wear, I realize that even though our relationship may not be exactly the same, I welcome new changes wholeheartedly.

I would need a thousand blog posts to tell you just how much you mean to me and just how PROUD I am of you. I will start by saying, I have been blessed in so many ways by having you as my sister. You have always been a person that I respect and admire! You’re everything “good”. What I mean by that is… you’re the kind of good that’s not just surface deep, but you’re good to the core; the purest of hearts. You always see the best in people and treat them with a kindness that is rare to find and anyone that is lucky enough to be in your life is BETTER because of it. I am so proud of for your strength and resilience. It hasn’t always been easy! You fought through difficult circumstances, and dealt with hardships, but you’ve overcome! All of those experiences have brought you here… to this special day. Through the ups and downs, God was faithful and we saw this first hand when he placed someone in your life that adores you. It is an answer to our prayers from our coutless trips to Palitana that you’ve found a man that cherishes you and sees you for who you are; how we all see you! Someone that makes you feel safe and accepts every part of you.

We’ve held hands through it all, the time you didn’t want to go to tuitions because you had a bad hair day, the time you wanted to sneak out for the night over in 11thgrade and even from all the times you were in bad mood when you had a fight with Shan! Even though I’m older, I always learned so much from you – like all those impromptu ‘Remix’ songs dances we used to do and show it to everyone in the house (more on this at the end)! Today and everyday I’m still here to hold your hand though it. I have watched you my entire life. It’s kind of also funny how nothing has changed throughout the years gone by.

I’ll start with this – you’re going to have a partner along with you during the big days of your life, the big parenting decisions, dealing with the parents and in-laws (Oh, and those Ekta Kapoor soaps we used to watch, no kidding, they’re kinda true), but you’ll also have someone to wake up with on Sunday mornings and do a closet cleaning session with. No matter how big or small just remember you’ll have fun during all those times. But, trust me when I say this – sometimes fun and magic will come easily to the both of you and sometimes you’re going to have to try hard. We’ve been best friends before I even knew what a best friend was, and have had some battles that only we can come back from. We’ve grown up side by side with one always catching the other when we fall, and catapulting one other during times of success. We’ve learned from each other’s mistakes and carried life lessons passed between us along the way. A friendship may know all of your best stories, but a sister is the one who lived them with you. And damn it that ever the truth.

I can’t wait to hear about milestones that’ll make up your early years of marriage – like you finally not burning dinner, or him bringing flowers to you at work. But I’ll also be eagerly waiting to hear about the later ones: the dinner you will have perfected over the years, or him bringing you flowers for your golden anniversary.

Remember this Anni, relationships aren’t easy and compromises are a must. There will be days that you’ll have to let Shan go for drinks with the guys even though you want to spend the evening with him and there will be days that he’ll have to take on baby duty because your friend wants to watch a re-run of Koffee with Karan and eat ice cream cause she had a fight with her boyfriend! But you’ll soon realize it is all worth it. Every night you’ll be able to come and snuggle up to your favourite man (well second favorite, after Prabu Ofcourse) and the compromises will just seem like a teeny-tiny price to pay. We are not perfect, and we never try to be. We would rather eat ‘Paanchur’ than get all dulled up and dine out at a fabcy restaurant. We laugh too hard, but never too often, and usually make a fool of ourselves (okay mostly me) in the process. We’ve defended one another without giving it a second thought.

We are brother and sister.

As we approach this big day I just thought some elder brother words of wisdom should be passed down. I am after all 13 months, and a nephew older as well as not adopted, but not so sure about the wiser part (you know I’m just winging it as it comes, right?) Even though I feel like I have already welcomed Shan into our lives (Yes Shan, I say our lives because she was and will always be mine first), tomorrow makes it official. So, before he takes you from me, and changes your last name, I am taking one last moment to make it all about us. The Shah Bro-Sis.

Anni, you’re going to make the most stunning, loving, and brightest bride tomorrow. And your dulhe-raja will be waiting for you at the mandap all ready to fall in love with that radiant smile all over again. For some siblings, that may feel a little like two people parting ways. But I know that isn’t the case for us! I will no longer be just a brother anymore, but a brother-in-law, and one day (hopefully soon), a Mama again!

Also, forgive me, because I will promise not to cry, but then of course I will, because it will be hard not to. I’ll shed a tear when you hold your husband’s hand for the first time as a married lady and pose for a picture. When you ask me to hug you one last time before you leave the venue, I’ll probably not do it because I won’t be able to stop bawling because it’s too hard. It won’t be easy to let a part of my heart go, without me mourning, even though I know this is such a happy occasion. It’s hard to share you with anyone else!

So, I pen down my thoughts today, thinking about you in that gorgeous ping Lehenga, I have tears in my eyes. I’m now not only your big brother but Shan’s too! I hope I live upto the task. But if you ask me, I’m crazy excited to have a new member in our little gang! Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new chapter. Not just for you and Shan, but for us too. Uncharted waters that neither of us truly know anything about. You will officially be writing a new story and creating a new family. A family of your own.

Besides, another apology is for being a tad too clingy. I know that I need to let you go and live this new exciting life, but it’ll take me some time to accept it! I’ll call you 10 times a day, I’ll constantly ask you to come home and meet us, and I will be tad jealous of your husband because hey, he is fast becoming as special as I am, to you! Yes, I will probably never accept that he can become more special than me to you, even though he has every right to be. I also have to open my heart to include Shan in my life as much as I love you, I will be a little rude and annoying at times. Sorry if I ever ignore him and only hug you instead!

Enjoy the day baby, it’s your once in a lifetime fairytale day and we’re all here to make it as special as the one you’ve been dreaming about. You and Shan are going to live a joyful life together, grow old loving eachother, learning new quirks about eachother and making the best team ever. I am showering all my love, flowers, blessings and anything else I can get a hold on for the two of you. The way you two look at eachother, assures me that your adoration will last a lifetime and he’ll be there to protect you whenever I can’t. Our bond is stronger than ever before, and I will stand beside you tomorrow like I have our entire lives and continue to do so no matter where life takes us.

On this day, I toast to us and the bond that can never be broken to the new life you are about to start with the man of your dreams.

Happy Wedding day, Anni! The best is yet to come…

All of my Love from the best friend and brother for life,

Prabhu

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[asianhappinesss]

Hua Jai Sila (2019)

Summary

Tor is a love child of a mistress and a wealthy hi-so man. After his mother dies from neglect, Tor is forced to live with his father’s family. Abused by his stepmother and stepbrother, he turns to the girl-next-door, Mingta, who also suffers neglect at the hands of her so called mother and sister.

One night, while being chased by his stepmother, Tor jumps into a river and is presumed dead, though he survives. He is taken under the wing of another prostitute who knew his mother and takes on a new life under the alias, Sila. Years later, he returns as a notorious, rich pimp, with plans to avenge his mother and to get revenge for the torture and pain brought to him by his stepmother and stepbrother.

Sila's main goal is to hurt the people that hurt him as a child, but he never expected to see the only friend he ever had as a child, Mingta. As soon as they see each other, she realizes that he looks familiar to her. She notices a ring he wears around his neck, and immediately comes to the conclusion that he's Tor, her childhood best friend that supposedly died. But he denies it because of his revenge plan.

Review

Finally, I found a drama that suits me..I just knew that this drama is a remake but after 27 episodes, I really loved this version because of the amazing performances from the actors!!!Good job guys!!! 1. The best villain in Thai’s drama land .She never give up to do the bad things until the last moments..That is a good lesson for me!!Whatever we are, we should never give up and “NEVER SAY NEVER” in everything that we do.Whatever it is, I empathize for her.She is another wife that got cheated by their husband. The cause of this post-problem is the effect of her husband’s foolish act. He cheated on his wife and BANF .baby on the way!!If there is a woman can accept that behavior and the child, I think that woman is an angel.Our villain is one of the best villain that I watched in Thai’s drama but her weakness is her son..Isk..isk..If she had a better son, she is the unbeatable villian in this drama. 2. OUR MAIN LEAD..Please give a big clap for Tor Thanaphob. I knew about him because he always pop out in channel GMM25. However, he is amazing and I love how he acts. I’m falling in love once again.But, I just watched Sky Castle (Korean Drama) and I really regret it very much.He is soooooo similar with Chani sf9 and everytime he appears in the screen, my brain redirect my mind to Chani.It is a big spoil for me but don’t worry Tor, your acting is better than Chani. Anyway Chani sf9 (right) and Tor (right) .They quite seem different but when you watch this drama, Tor is like the older, mature, slimmer, taller and sexier version for our 19 years Chani. Along the drama, I wish Tor is Chani because I fall in love with Chani, 3 months earlier than our Tor…huhuhu..If Chani can perform or act like Tor, he will be popular like Im Si Wan..Now, I love both!!! 3. You reap what you sow..First, to all the foolish husbands that responsible to this extreme karma. I don’t want to write my opinion here because I am a WOMAN, so all the wives got my 100% support. Second, to our ML that lack of forgiveness. It is not easy to be a saint if similar circumstances happen to us. Third, Fourth and fifth….you should watch the drama and you’ll find yourself. 4. Beauty + brain .Good but when beauty that has brain but never use it = NO GOOD!!! either the woman or the man, use your brains if you have a brain because when you didn’t use it, the nerves will degenerate..Hahaha…However, to all writers: Can you create beauty + brains in you drama? and please including woman in the tagline. SECOND LEAD SYNDROME Of course…only one for me in this drama .Tor Thanaphob.His visual is best and his act make me his fangirl. His chemy with the FL is superb even her act is not as par as him. In the nutshell, this drama help Tor from a lead of idol drama to a lead of popular drama. He can start a pathway to stardom. About the drama.. I give 9/10 because in the it dragged in the middle of drama. It has all the ingredients of Thai’s drama and luckily the writer/director make it more interesting and refreshing plot. The romance is so sweet like candy and feels new because of casual act of ML. This drama is typical Thai’s drama but don’t worry because it is good for me. That is another reason that I stop here. Not many things to write but the creativity and magic of writer and director help me to finish this 27 episodes without SKIP.Thank you once again for pick Tor as ML and thank you again for recognize his talent. P/S: His popularity is skyrocketing in Thailand now !!!

[dearestjaemin]

26 Questions for the Saniwa

a question meme i saw from wikia and wanted to answer it here!!! since this is where i mostly put my tkrb posts....

q&a under the cut!

Q.What is your name and which server is your citadel on?

A. 桃井　さつき　+ see battle record uwu;;;;

Q. When did you start serving as a Saniwa? Please display your battle records.

A. April 22 of 2017!!! I recently celebrated my first year anniversary and it was nice uwu

Q. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now?

A. Kashuu Kiyomitsu!!! Um, well, he’s just there... waiting for his kiwame... Actually uwu;; I used him for a recent VOT thinking exp accumulates and carries over to kiwame! Did that to him because he’s the only one I wouldn’t get angry at haha

Q. Who is the first among your swords to reach the maximum level? What do you think of him

A. If i remember correctly, it is Hotarumaru!!! He arrived pretty early but I’m sure he got to 99 hella quick because of VOT AHHAHAA I love him!! He’s relatively fast for an ootachi + he’s cute!!!

Q. Who do you have in each of your squads, and how do you use them? If you haven’t unlocked all four teams yet, briefly describe how you plan to organize them.

A. First squad varies depending on event! (WTE is either all kiwame or newbies, VOT is tachi + ootachi; if it isn’t battle regiment?? all other squads are on expedition!) Currently: Second squad is 97 akita, 99 tarou, 99 micchan, 24 tomoe (extra haha a...) 97 yagen (for the naginata expedition!), third squad is for yari expedition, with 55 ote, 99 mutsu, 35 (extra) fudou (he levelled up by sheer force of expedition HAHAHAH) 99 ishi, fourth squad is 99 kashuu, 99 sayo, 99 kousetsu, 53 nihongou

if it’s battle regiment, it’s either all kiwame team again for first squad then the rest goes on exp. if not, first team is night battle, then tachi team, then uchi team.

Q. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?

A. I love tantous!! They’re so cute huhu I also love my naginatas!!

Q. List the swords that you like and your thoughts on them.

A. i this is a lot ahahhaa um i love kashuu’s art style and everything about him. he’s so cute and im a sucker for his voice!!! i love my baby gokotai imma protecc him. I LOVE FUDOU i love his drunk self but i never knew i could love him more until he kiwame-d! i love horikawa so much i would give him all the love ;; I LOVE KANE-SAN he’s so handsome aaaaa and i like idiots like him huhu MONOYOSHI he’s so pretty imma cry for his kiwame ;;;;; mICCHAAAN i love his voice and his mom-ness. i love tsuru’s art so much!!! also such a playful boy ;;;; I LOVE HOTARUMARU SO MUCH bb rest well ;; IWAIWA i luv him so much ainsaksnaks and and otegine is slowly having a spot bcos i always hear him for expedition ahahhaha...

Q. Are there any pairings that you like? If there is, please list them.

A. Kashuu and Yasu!! I love these two!! KaneHori but also KashuuHori owo I love MikaKogi and MikaTsuru uwu MitsuKara!!! I also love TsuruKara hehe and IwaSouza!! (haha zoku’s tiny moment of them...) AND YAMABUSHIXJUZU BOI U CANT CONVINCE ME THAT THEYRE NOT CUTE and sweats.... a lot of tachis x saniwa.... .////.

Q. Is your Citadel an employee-friendly Citadel or a black-hearted Citadel that works your swords to the bones?

A. I- ;; maybe black-hearted? I only repair swords when they get to red for resource + instant token purposes (unless im not gonna use them for a long time) I do only work with gold troops because i think they deserve gold troops uwu;;; Or work to the bones mean fatigue?? I never let them out non-sakura fubuki (if you lose the flowers, you get to be leader!)

Q. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?

A. I what?? 

Q. Have you ever broken a sword? What happened, and who did you break?

A. I’ve mentioned this a lot but I’ll say it again haha I broke Gokotai on a run on WTE Map 4?? I was at school (whoops) and I was playing during a seatwork?? since it only needed clicking. When I looked at the screen, Gokotai broke!! I didnt even hear his line! I thought he had an omamori but it turned out that he was the only one without it! I was horrified as he was already 90+ (ready to be sent out for kiwame! so thankfully not yet a kiwame) and i was near in tears! I got another gokotai and on the same day i level-ed him to 30?? ye. ahaha-

Q. Who looses troops the most in your Citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?

A. I think it’s Daihannya? And it’s Kousetsu! Or, well I believe he makes good troops...

Q. Have you ever done something with all your might in order to get a particular sword? Please describe what you did and the results.

A. Good story: I used up all my ofudas and resources were almost less than a 100k?? and it was night time already!!! God i needed to sleep. then tomoe came home!!! Juzu too!!! God I ran thru 7-4 long route so many times i think i 99-ed a set of tantous + almost another set of them before i got him uwu;;

Bad story: same thing and I was down to 50k??? yep i think that was it. koryuu still didnt come home. ;;

Q. Are you superstitious? (wwww)

A. I believe that Nakigitsune brings swords home as he brought Juzu home (and he brought Juzu home as well for my sis! Also Shizukagata for her!) Also back when I sucked at VOT, I believe that screaming beads repeatedly while pumping my fists helps (no it doesnt but well im desperate for an ichigo)

Q. What made you join the TKRB fandom in the beginning? How about now?

A. I saw fanarts of it from an artist i love and im like WHAT IS THIS?? at first it was only the game and i heard it was pc + jap only so i gave up. when hanamaru came out, i watched and got hooked!!! i then started playing. i stay for the art + i actually enjoy the mindlessness of this game. perfect for someone with bad attention span like me ^^;;

Q. What do you think of the current maps? Which map is good for training/grinding, which maps do you get lost in the most, which map do you want to burn?

A. They’re ok now that they updated the less clicking thing! I love 7-4, long route for my tantous + 5-4 for my tachis. I get lost a lot in 7-1??? and this map in 6... ID BURN 7-2 AND 7-3 WOW I LOST A LOT OF RESOURCES FOR THE DAMN REPAIR

Q. Are there any game systems or improvements that you hope DMM will implement?

A. I would mention the less clicking but they already improved that! Honestly the recent updates were real nice! Maybe something like auto play? Like it would only prompt you to click if there is an injured sword or cant scout? haha less clicking again ^^;;;

Q. If DMM cooperates on an event with another game/anime/etc., what would you like to see?

A. Since this is about swords, I kinda want something like FFXV bcos noctis and his swords... Or final fantasy in general!! Actually I also want Natsume Yuujinchou hahahaha.. and sanrio... ah ahaha.

Q. Have you ever spent money playing TKRB? Is so, how much? If not, do you plan to?

A. sweats... I’ve bought two sword slot expansion and two troop slot expansion (check the store for price!) Outside the game, I’ve bought some mostly Kashuu merch because he’s def my favorite!

Q. Is there any merchandise that you would like to buy or see?

A. Mini-sword keychains? haha or maybe a music box?

Q. Have you done any fanwork? If so, what?

A. I’ve written some short oneshots! It’s either here or on quidumps

Q. What do you think you are like as a Saniwa?

A. I think I’m the type who spoils them a lot (esp the tantous and anmitsu uwu) and plays along with Tsuru’s pranks! Maybe doting is the word? Ah some swords might not be ok with it but i might be cuddly! I imagine hugging ishikirimaru a lot bcos he looks soft ;w; ishipapa!!!! warm uwu also i feel like ill be close with micchan! i dont think ill get along with mika tho HAHAHA JIJI!!!! 

Q. If the government asked you to choose a sword to kill yourself with in terms of emergency, who would you pick?

A. hm... I would say it’s Kashuu because he knows me the most and he is the most mature among everyone. If it’s going to be a tantou, I would say someone like Atsushi because he looks strong emotionally. Emotionally, I would also say Kiwame!Fudou as I think he finally understands what it means to be a mamorigatana. (not imano... ill break his heart ;;)

Q. The government has asked you to write a report: how would you describe the situation in your Citadel?

A. Everything is under control! We’re fighting off the Retrograding Army quite well! Horikawa has Kane-san under control!!!

Q. What do you think of the Retrograding Army?

A. maybe if they were cuter... ah no haha. I wish they would tell us why theyre changing history >< And maybe stop for some time??

Q. Lastly, please say something about the TKRB from the bottom of your heart!

A. Thank you so much for existing!!!! I never knew I would be this hooked! No plans on leaving and hopefully it stays like that! Please stay popular so when I get to Japan with enough money I can support full on!! HAHAHAHAH

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Taking The Shot: Part 9

Pairings: Negan x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, typical Walking Dead stuff, murder

Word Count: 3,374

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life settled in nearly perfectly after that night. You were surprised at just how many weapons and how stocked with supplies Travis and Sadie had been. The only thing they didn’t have was food which explained why they attempted to steal from you. After their demise, your family became the only family that lived in a 30 mile radius. Somehow, you had managed to live in the middle of the most lucrative place you could possibly have landed in. There were two different Amazon/ Walmart distribution warehouses within a two hour drive that had enough food and other necessities to last you years. Gas for the truck seemed to appear everywhere as if this town had left nearly untouched since the start of the apocalypse.

Just after Hope turned two, Arat and Simon got pregnant. Their relationship developed more out of loneliness than complete attraction. Despite that, they were the most adorable couple you had ever seen. Hope was ecstatic at the idea that she would have a new friend with and asked nearly every single day if the baby was coming that day. Just before “Aunt T” was due, you, Negan and Simon went out on a run to a local baby store to replace newborn onesies that hadn’t made it through Hope’s newborn life.

“You excited?” You called back to Simon as you drove back home. He was smiling as he looked a small pair of Converse shoes he had grabbed and nodded.

“No, not at all.” He teased with a glanced up at you.

“It’s a fucking life changing experience, man.” Negan said as he reached over and took your hand; lacing his fingers with yours. “Just you wait. You think you’re fucking happy now, just wait until you hold him.”

“Why do you continue to think it’s a boy?” You asked with a giggle.

“Because it is.” Negan and Simon said at the same time.

“Good Lord, I’m gunna laugh my fucking ass off when T and I are right and it’s another girl.” You joked as you snatched the walkie-talkie off the dash to let Arat know you were coming up the hill to home. “T, come in.”

“It won’t be a girl. I know it.” You shook your head as you turned up the volume on the radio, waiting for an answer.

“Hi mommy!” Hope said, her little voice crackling through the radio.

“Hi baby girl. You know you’re not supposed to play with the radio.” She giggled into the radio.

“I know mommy, but T said I could. She says she broke her water bottle but she didn’t have a water bottle, mommy.” Your eyes shot over to Negan and he floored it. You forced yourself to keep your voice calm to respond to your daughter.

“Hope, listen to me. Go out on the porch, sit in the chair and wait for me and daddy. You understand?”

“Sure mommy.” You heard the screen door slam in the back ground before Hope let go of the button. You tossed the radio onto the dash and unbuckled as Simon began to panic in the back seat.

“Fuck… is this fucking happening? Like really fucking happening?” You turned and looked at him as you rolled down the window so you could jump over the gate and open it.

“Breathe, Si. It’s happening and it’s gunna be perfect. You get to meet your baby boy today.” He looked up from the shoes in his hand and nodded with a huge smile on his face.

“Yea… yea I guess I am.” You heaved yourself out the window and on to the hood of the truck as Negan pulled into the driveway. As he stopped against the gate, you dropped over the gate and began undoing the bolts.

“Hi mommy! Where’s daddy?” Hope called out as you dragged the gate open quickly and you glanced over your shoulder.

“Hi sweetheart. Daddy’s coming.” You told her as you pushed open the first gate. Negan pulled in quickly and you could hear Simon shouting at him to hurry up. You shook your head as you grabbed the chain of the first gate and began to pull it closed behind you.

You heard the guttural hiss of a walker at almost exactly the same time as your daughter screamed your name. You whipped your head to the right and tripped over nothing as the walker lunged at you. Your hand gun bounced out of the back of your jeans as you collided with the black top and your stomach clenched as you heard the panicked patter of little footsteps running down the stairs toward you.

“Hope, go to daddy now!” You screamed as you yanked the gate closed. Luckily for you, the walker landed with his skull between the metal posts and it caved as you slammed the gate closed. Adrenaline course through your veins as the sound of your daughters screams got closer to you coupled with Negan’s shouts. “Negan get her!” You looked up just in time to watch a second walker slam into the fence.

Everything seemed to slow down as the walker tumbled over the fence right next to your leg. You could barely hear Hope’s blood curdling screams as Negan snatched her up from right behind you and ran her toward the house. You looked over and saw the black handle of your gun only a few feet away from you. With only a slight stretch, your fingers wrapped around the grip at the same moment the walker’s dead fingers enveloped your leg. You released the chain in your hand and aimed at the monster at your feet.

Each breath you took scraped through your lungs. You could hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears as the walkers mouth opened just above your ankle. You could barely hear Negan’s frantic screaming as you cocked your gun. Milliseconds before the walker’s mouth connected with your jeans, you sent two bullets flying through his skull. His grip around your ankle loosened and you scrambled backwards from the fence; colliding with your husbands shins as a third walker approached the gate. You reacted immediately and the third bullet you fired send the corpse stumbling away from the gate.

“Get it over the fence!” You screeched as Negan yanked you off the ground. You dashed over and grabbed the secondary gate as he threw the body over the fence and locked the bloody padlock of the first gate. You slammed the first gate closed with shaky hands as tears began to sting the back of your eyes. Both of you slammed the bolts into place as fast as you could and as the last one was dropped, your knees gave out.

“Were you bit?!” Negan shouted as he caught you in his arms. You shook your head as panicked sobs took over.

“No, I’m good. Where’s Hope?” You asked as held you too his chest. You could feel both of your bodies shaking as he lifted you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist and hugged his as close as physically possible. You could hear your daughter screaming your name through the open window over the sound of a forth walker throwing itself against the gate and the beautiful cries of a newborn baby.

“She’s in the house. She’s safe; we are all safe.” You could hear his tears as he climbed up the stairs toward the door and he unwillingly put you down once he crossed the threshold to safety. You had just enough time to catch Hope as she threw herself into your arms. The three of you sat in the entryway and cried as you and your husband realized just how close of a call that was. It was only 20 minutes before Hope cried herself into a stress related nap and Negan picked both of his girls up and brought you upstairs. You laid Hope on your bed to let her nap and turned back to her dad, hugging him too you.

“I fucking thought I lost you.” He grumbled as he held you tight. You shook your head against his chest.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy baby.” He let out a weak laugh as you pulled away, taking his hand in your still shaky hand and pulling him out to the balcony. You grabbed a pack of smokes and gently pushed him into the chair to sit on his lap, not wanting to be more than a few inches away from the man you loved. You heard the balcony door open about twenty minutes after the two of you had sat down and you picked your head up off Negan’s shoulder to see who it was.

“So you and T win.” Simon said softly as he walked out on the balcony holding his daughter in his arms. You stood up with a smile and went to hold her and Simon turned slightly away from you. “I’m not done.” He growled teasingly. You giggled as you stepped toward him with Negan by your side and you gently pulled back the blanket to look at the sleeping angel in your friends arms.

“Aww baby I want one.” You cooed. Negan chuckled as he put his hand on your lower back, gently rubbing it up and down.

“No. We already fucking have one.” You scowled, looked up at him and pouted. “Yea but we don’t have one this tiny.” His eyebrows rose and he shook his head.

“We don’t fuckin’ need one that tiny we have her.” Your eyes squinted at him in mock anger as he pointed at your niece.

“You’re no fun.” He and Simon both laughed softly as you turned back the new father. “What did you two decide for a name?” Simon smiled and looked up at you.

“We went with Faith. Figured it could be a little family theme… You two good?” He inquired. You nodded slowly and looked up at him.

“Scared shitless but yea, we’re good.” With a small smile, he turned and headed back inside, softly talking  to Faith and Negan wrapped his arms around your waist.

“You’re not fuckin’ getting another one…” He told you and you wined as he kissed the side of your neck. “…yet. I may consider it when Faith is like fucking a year old or something.” You pulled to the side and kissed the side of his temple with a smile.

“5 bucks says I change your mind before then.” He laughed and kissed the top of your shoulder as he shook his head.

“I’m pretty sure we have fucking condoms in the basement.” He teased. You grumbled and pulled out of his arms to smoke another cigarette.

“You just suck the fun out of everything, you fun sucker.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy it hurts.” Hope rasped through her tears and hacking cough. You used the back of your hand to wipe away beads of sweat that had collected on her feverish forehead while you sat just outside of your shower and you glanced over at the clock on the counter.

“I know baby girl, mommy is trying.” You cringed as your daughter began her seal like cough once more and you stood up and turned off the shower. “Come on baby, let’s go back outside.” With another cough and a nod your daughter crawled into your arms and the two of you headed back into your bed room.

“Found some kids Tylenol in the basement.” Negan said softly as he closed your bedroom door behind him. “Fuckin’ book says it should help.” You nodded as the two of you headed toward the 2nd story balcony and you heard Negan sigh.

“I know babe. Trust me I know.” You sat down on one of your chairs with Hope in your lap as Negan crouched down next to you to pour the medicine.

“Are you sure this is croup?” He asked as he poured the cherry flavored liquid into Hope’s mouth. You nodded as you covered her mouth so she wouldn’t cough up or spit out the medicine.

“I’m sure. I used to get it just before Christmas every year as a kid.” Your husband nodded as he took his little girl from your lap and he bounced her slightly as he paced the porch. The two of you stayed quiet as you waited for your daughters cries and coughing to settle down. It took the medication about 15 minutes to kick in before Hope finally wheezed herself to a restless sleep. With a heavy sigh, Negan sat down on the other chair and rested your daughter on his chest.

“We have a whole week of this?” He asked and you nodded and fell back into the chair.

“Trust me, if I knew a way to make this go quicker I would. Did you get her mattress up here?” You asked as you looked over at him.

“Yea, Simon helped. They are keeping Faith in their room for the time being. Last fucking thing we need is a 6 month old catching this shit.” You nodded slowly and looked out at the woods. After a moment, you thought you saw movement in the night and you sat up slightly in your chair. “What?” Negan asked as you saw a man move partially behind a tree.

“We are being watched.” You replied softly as you crept out of your chair. “Don’t move. I’m gunna grab my…” without warning, your house was flooded with lights as a truck- one you instantly recognized as the Sanctuary’s truck, annihilated the two gates.

“We have you surrounded, Negan. Just stay put.” Rick’s sickening voice rang out from a mega phone in your front yard. Your stomach knotted as men began to pour into your yard.

“Baby…” you said as Negan stood up and grabbed your arm.

“Closet. It’s gunna be OK.” The sound of your front door being bashed open was nearly drowned out by Hope’s sudden screams. You grabbed whatever weapons you could and headed toward the closet. You saw your husband’s hand wrap around the closet door knob at the same time that your bedroom door flew open. You didn’t make it one more step before you felt the sharp edge of a long blade against your throat.

“Drop the bat or she dies.” A woman’s voice growled near your ear. You swallowed hard and felt the edge of the blade nick your neck as Negan slowly turned around.

“Look, I understand that…” he started to say as he lowered Lucille to the ground and the woman hissed at him.

“No, you don’t understand but you’re about to.” You saw someone you didn’t recognize step between you and your husband and grab Lucille before the three of you were gestured down stairs at gunpoint. You could hear Faith’s screaming mixed with Hope’s horse sobs as your little family was forced out of your house and onto your knees in your front yard. You forced yourself to keep a poker face as Rick hopped out of the truck and stood in between the headlights.

“I have been looking for you for a long, long time.” he said as he was handed Lucille. “And to think, you had been playing house all this time…”

“Your fucking issue is with me and only fucking me. Leave them the fuck out of this.” Negan said as he held Hope protectively to his chest. Rick laughed and shook his head as he looked at Lucille almost lovingly.

“Oh no. See, my problem is with her as well.” He said as he suddenly stepped forward and swung Lucille inches from your face. You couldn’t help but jump back slightly as the wind from the bat forced a tear from your eye. You swallowed again and closed your eyes for a moment as your daughter screamed your name.

“Get the kids out of here. They don’t need to watch this.” Rick said and you couldn’t help but hear the pure evil joy in his tone. Your eyes flew open as two men came toward you.

“Like fucking hell!” Negan screamed as you lunged in front of him to protect your little girl. Your yard became a flurry of bodies and screams as you and your family fought to keep the girls with you.

Before you knew it, you were being pinned to the ground with a knee between your shoulder blade as Jared from the old crew walked away from you with Hope screaming in his arms. You could hear Negan behind you losing a fight with two or three men. You looked around as best as you could as your hands were being tied behind your back and saw Arat and Simon pinned to the ground the same as you were as Faith was also carried away.

“The fuck do you want?” You shouted as Negan was slammed to the ground next to you. You tiled your head up to look at his blood covered face inches from yours as Rick spoke.

“Well, you killed our people and they were good people. Now you… you are bad people who deserve to die and I am happy to oblige. Line them up, give them a taste of their own medicine.” You didn’t realize you had begun to silently sob as you were yanked out of the dirt and forced to kneel. You could still hear Hope’s desperate horse screams as you turned to look at Negan who was kneeling to your right. His left eye was already starting to swell shut as blood poured from his nose and a gash on his lip.

“I love you.” You told him through your tears as the shadow of Lucille danced across the ground between the two of you.

“I love you too, baby girl. I always will.” Negan swallowed and forced himself to focus solely on the love of his life as Rick stepped toward Simon directly behind you. “Keep looking at me, (Y/N).” He said softly as Rick raised the bat over his head. You choked back a sob and nodded, refusing to tear your eyes away from his brown eyes as Arat’s screams partially covered the sound of Simon’s skull cracking open and his body collapsing to the ground. The two of you remained quiet and focused only on each other as Arat’s crying was silenced by an almost deafening crack. Negan’s eyes left yours for only a second as Ricks shadow began to advance toward you.

“Now as for the pair of you.” He said as he crouched down between the two of you. When neither of you said a word or looked away from each other, he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him as a gun was placed to the back of your head. “You move and I’ll kill her.” Rick said to Negan as you glared daggers at the man in front of you.

“So I was planning on just killing both of you and taking your girls but I have a better idea. I’m gunna take you with me and just leave him riddled with bullet holes and left for walker bait. We brought a couple with us just for you sick bastards. I want the record to show that I am not about using a woman for sex but I gotta say… I hear you have the mouth of a porn star…” He looked up the the person who was standing behind you and gave a quick nod.

“No. No!” Negan shouted as the man lifted you off the ground and dragged you toward the truck. You started kicking and screaming your husband’s name as loud as you could as Rick held his gun directly between Negan’s eyes. He tried desperately to move to get to you as your voice screaming his name ripped through his soul but the ropes he had been tied up with held him in place.

“Say good-bye to everything you love, Negan.” Rick said as he cocked the gun. Negan took a deep breath, closed his eyes and screamed your name for the last time. The last thing he heard was your muffled voice screaming his name before everything went dark.

Part 10

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Her Last Goodbye

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Y/N Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Jensen and Y/N’s families mentioned.  

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Character death -  aside from that I will list the warnings in the tags since I don’t want to give anything away.      

Word Count: 2300ish

A/N: Hey guys welcome to SPN Angst Appreciation Day 2017 - I hope y’all are ready to cry. As one of your hosts I thought it was my duty to do my best to make sure you go to bed with puffy eyes tonight so I am posting 3 brand new one shots in honor of this day. This is number 3.

It is also written for @impalaimagining Angst Challenge - My prompt was Kodaline’s All I Want.

Thanks a billion to my sassy lil sis @mysupernaturalfics for betaing angst for me

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***  

Jensen closed the door after practically having had to shove Jared through it. Being his best friend, he hadn’t wanted to leave. Jared didn’t like Jensen being alone, but damn he needed it. All Jensen could think about while the house was buzzing around him was to be alone. He didn’t feel a damn thing when people walked up to him, offering their condolences. The last time the house was this full stuck on his mind.

Jensen had rolled his eyes at her, offering up one expensive venue after another. He wanted her to have it all, but Y/N had refused. She wanted them to get married at the small church they went to every Sunday when he was at home and she wanted the reception to be at home. Finally Jensen had caved and Y/N had, had the wedding her way. Off course she had been right. It had been perfect, small and intimate. It had fit them better than the extravagant wedding Jensen had wanted to give her.

Jensen didn’t see the darkly dressed people in his living room. Not really anyway. He saw her and the way she spun around the floor dancing and laughing with everyone from his dad, her dad, his brother to Jared and Misha. Jensen loved watching her from afar and he had done so from the longest of times until he finally made his way across the floor, when the music changed to a slower tune, laying a gentle hand on Misha’s arm.

“Can I cut in?” Jensen asked and Misha instantly nodded, giving his friend a tight hug before leaving the floor.

“I thought you’d forgotten about me,” Y/N teased as Jensen pulled her close, slowly swaying to the music and Jensen tenderly pressed his lips against hers. He loved how perfectly she fit in his arms and the way she would always lean into his touch. He smiled down at her, and his heart almost stopped. She was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Y/N was practically glowing as she looked up at him. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her this happy and in that moment he vowed he would do everything within his power to keep her like this forever.

“I could never forget about you,” he promised, making her face light up in the brightest of smiles before he made her squeal with laughter as he spun her around the room, dipping her to the floor and kissing her again.  

“I could never forget about you,” those words rung over and over in Jensen’s head as soon as the door closed behind Jared. For the first time in a week, he was truly alone. The past few days someone had stayed over. If not his mom, then Y/N’s, McKenzie or Jared. It was as if everyone had agreed never to leave him alone and it had taken Jensen almost screaming at his best friend to leave him now, when it was all over.

The silence was deafening now and he almost tore the door back open, screaming for Jared to come back, but he couldn’t. This was something he was going to have to go through. He took a deep breath before walking through the house that seemed to be filled with bad memories now.

The living room where she had dropped a vase out of the blue for no reason for the first time, the kitchen where she had cut herself and screamed at him she needed to be able to atleast do some things on her own, when he had tried to help her, the bathroom where she had fallen in the shower and Jensen had to lift her off the floor and carry her back to bed, only a few weeks ago. The bedroom where he had held her as she cried after that incident and the first time she had expressed to him a wish to leave this world on her own terms. It had scared the shit out of him and he had refused to talk about it. Something he had regretted every moment for the past week. If he had only listened to her that night, maybe she would still be here. Maybe he wouldn’t have found her lifeless in their bed with the open bottle of pills on the night table. Maybe at the very least he could have been with her, she wouldn’t have had to go on her own.

The blame and guilt had been overwhelming over the past few days and it had been all he had been able to focus on. Had he just listened, taken her serious. Told her that he wanted her and loved her. Told her that no matter what was going to happen he would never leave her, he would always be there for her, loving her every step of the way. Had he just spoken up, maybe his wife would still be alive and waiting for him in their bed.

Jensen felt his legs give out from under him as he reached their bedroom, his knees hitting their the floor as the room came into vision. The bed was big and empty, but he could still see her lying there. He could still remember how cold she had felt when he had clung to her, screaming out her name, begging for her to come back. Begging for her not to leave him. He gasped for air, struggling to breath properly as he tried replace that memory with a happy one in his mind, but even than hurt.

Y/N squealed when Jensen pulled her back in bed, instantly rolling over her and pinning her beneath him as his lips trailed down her neck.

“Jay!! I am meeting with Mac and Gen in a few hours,” she laughed, struggling halfheartedly beneath him.

“You’re newly wed. You’re allowed to be late,” Jensen teased, hating that the honeymoon had ended. They hadn’t been back home for more than a few days and he already missed staying in bed with her all day. Their friends and family wanted to see tham and all Jensen wanted was to be with her. Touching, kissing, talking. He wanted her to never leave his arms, but Y/N had other plans.

He had always been completely under her spell. Even as friends when they were both seeing other people, there had never been anything he wouldn’t do for her. She had always been his first priority even if it had taken him years and failed relationships to realize that. He still remembered the surprised look on her face when he had finally grown the balls to ask her out, he still remembered how nervous he had been the entire day before picking her up. The first kiss and how everything seemed to fall into place as their lips met. She had given herself to him that night and from that moment on he had never let her go. Dating had turned into engagement. Engagement to marriage and Jensen had never been happier than he was holding her, kissing her, touching her. She was his entire would and he was happy to let the outside fade away for a few more days, staying hidden away from reality with her in his arms.

Jensen growled when she finally managed to slip out from under him, but his annoyance was sort lasted. Y/N didn’t bother to get dressed, instead her hips swayed as she showed off her soft, very naked body to him, turning around in the bathroom door, crooking her finger at him and Jensen was out of bed so fast his head was spinning.

Jensen would never have that again. He would never feel her soft, warm body moving beneath him. He would never wake up in the middle of the night, feeling happy and content as she snuggled closer to him in her sleep, practically lying on top of him. He had never loved anyone the way that he loved her. She had been his best friend and the love of his life. They had wanted a family together, a dream that had been shattered instantly when the doctor’s had made their diagnoses. ALS. Y/N didn’t have more than a few years left and even if a baby was technically possible, Y/N had refused. She didn’t wanna leave her kid without a mom and Jensen had respected her wishes. All he wanted was her after all and he had never stopped looking for a treatment. He had never stopped talking to doctors all over the world fighting to find some miracle cure, he deep down knew didn’t exist.   

Y/N had wanted to live as normal as possible and she didn’t take about the disease much. Jensen brought her with him to Vancouver to shoot as often as possible and Y/N gave him that, knowing it was his way of spending as much of the time they had left together. He had no doubt in his mind this was eating at her as much as it was him. She lost everything she had ever wanted or dreamed about with one doctor’s appointment. A doctor’s appointment Jensen had forced her to go to in the first place, because even though she had always been clumsy she falling and the bruises were getting out of hand.

She had been quiet for a few days after, before announcing to him that she was still her. Telling him not to tell anyone before they had too and she didn’t want him to change around her. Jensen hadn’t. He had done everything the way she had wanted too. Not telling their families and friends for the first 6 months. He had struggled to pretend as if it was nothing every time she got hurt because she would get angry when he didn’t. He knew that she was struggling and he had tried the best he could to make it as easy as possible on her. He loved her and being there for her from day to day, had made him forget the fear of losing her. Most of the time anyway. The days he spent in Vancouver without her was literal hell. Not because he was afraid she would get hurt and him not being there, because Gen had promised to stay with her as much as possible and when she couldn’t Jensen knew she would arrange with Mac or Y/N’s mom to drop by. It was his mind. Being without her, reminded him of how it was going to be soon and still nothing had prepared him for what he felt in the moment she was actually gone.

It wasn’t the disease that had taken her from her. She had left him. If she had really loved him how could she have done that? Jensen felt the anger bubble in his veins as he screamed out for her into the empty bedroom. He screamed, missing the person he had been with her. She had brought out the best in him. Something he would never see again. She had been his everything and now she was gone. She had left him alone and Jensen wanted nothing more than to have her back. He hated her for not staying, for not fighting and at the same time he understood. He understood how much she had been struggling. Struggles that was on him. He should have been able to make it easier for her. He should have made her want to fight, to keep going, to stay with him.

Jensen had no idea how long he had been kneeling on the floor before he finally got up, dragging himself to the big, cold, empty bed. Placing himself on her side, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume still lingering in the sheets, before slowly opening the night stand. He pulled out the letter he had been hiding. The letter he still hadn’t read. Tears streamed down his face as he unfolded the page, seeing her troubled handwriting.

Jensen… I know this is going to hurt you, and I am sorry. But no matter how this happens it will hurt you. I don’t want you having to clean and bath me. I don’t want you to become my caregiver. I love you and I want you to remember me the way that I was.

This is me setting us both free Jensen. My body is betraying me and it is starting to feel like a prison. I know how much you want a family and you will. You will find a girl who sees what I see. She will love you and she will give you children. You will be happy again Jay. I am so sorry, I couldn’t be the one to give you any of it. I am so sorry our love was cut short, but just know I will always love you and I will wait for you. Just take your time getting here okay? Live a long, happy life for me.

Forever yours.

Y/N.

Tears streamed down his face as he read her last goodbye. He read the letter over and over, before he curled up into a ball, wishing he could feel her wrapped around him again one last time. Wishing he could hear her voice or kiss her goodnight. Wishing he could tell her he didn’t want anybody but her and no matter how it ended he didn’t regret a single moment spend with her.

Jensen Tag Team

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