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cve-th3mvsic · 5 months ago

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to anybody and everybody who has a uterus, still gets their period, and uses pads when they’re on their period:

do you ever think you’re like, at the end of your cycle or that your period is done, and you should be done bleeding, (and you’re also js secretly desperately hoping in your mind that you’re done bleeding right now because you’re just so done with it and don’t wanna wear the damn pad anymore), so you decide to not wear a pad/not put on a new one because there wasn’t anything on it before and you’re like almost sure that you should be done, but then later, the next time you use the bathroom, you realize, whoops!! you’re wrong. you are still bleeding, and, just to your luck, you bled through your underwear. and now you’re extra upset because you really hoped that you were done and you really didn’t wanna have to put a pad on, but it bled through and now you have to put a pad on again. and what’s even worse, it didn’t just get on your underwear. it might’ve even gotten on your pants/shorts, or your inner thighs. so now you probably feel gross, and you feel like you have to shower asap.. because who would want to keep the blood on their inner thighs?

it’s such a disappointment. especially when it’s a lot of blood.

(i don’t mean this in a pissed tf off kind of tone, i’m just bummed out about it. this happened to me today, which is why i’m posting this. i wanna know if anybody else relates)

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also, i’ve seen lots of people say that apparently, to some people in society, talking about periods/menstruation is considered a weird thing to do. the people that i’ve seen say that have also said that we should normalize talking about periods.

we should 100% normalize talking about it.

we’re fucking humans and it happens to us. we bleed down there. it’s a normal thing for us people with a uterus. hate to break it to ya, but we can’t change that. and ya know, if i could i would. if i could choose to not have a period anymore, i wouldn’t have it. — it should not be weird to talk about periods, or what it’s like having a period. that shouldn’t be considered weird.

like be for real.

the human body is a strange thing (in my opinion), but definitely not strange enough to be something i wouldn’t talk about.

i think that this kind of thing/topic may be something that not many people would have the confidence or guts(?) to talk about .

to the people who may be too scared to talk about the struggles of having a period and what it’s like: i’ll say it for us. i’ll talk about it.

we bleed down there. it’s not very fun. when it starts, it’ll probably get on our underwear if we don’t put a pad on or use some other kind of feminine product to stop it from doing so. (i only use pads, so i dunno what it’s like using a tampon or whatever the other options there are). sometimes, it bleeds through our clothes. like our underwear or shorts/pants. it might be embarrassing if someone sees it, but hey, shit happens. if it does, we shouldn’t be judged for it. it happens, it’s not fun. but it’s not weird.

i mean, honestly, (in a similar scenario), if i peed my pants, hell yah i’d be embarrassed. but dude, i couldn’t get to the bathroom soon enough to go pee and prevent that. yah that sucks, but don’t judge me for it. and don’t compare me to a kid or call me a kid if i pee my pants either. i couldn’t get to the bathroom soon enough to pee, that doesn’t make me a child. i just couldn’t hold it in. big deal. it’s not funny, and it shouldn’t be.

and if you don’t wanna hear about this, cool. you don’t have to.

and ya know, there’s an option of simply scrolling past the post. of simply not reading it. you can ignore this. scroll away. it’s fine. i mean, if you’ve read to here at this point, you did choose to do so.

so if you read this and got uncomfortable, maybe don’t read it. if you’ve become uncomfortable by reading this, maybe you could have not clicked the “Keep reading” button to prevent that.

(i mean, sometimes curiosity kills the cat, but still)

if you did get uncomfortable by reading this, don’t mention it here please. please don’t reply to this post about it. it’d be nice. go talk to someone else about it. i cannot force you to not reply, but i can ask you.

you have your opinions too, and that is 100% okay. we all have opinions. we should be able to share them.

but if they include that you think that the stuff mentioned in this post is weird or gross, please do not reply to this post. i ask you very kindly.

i mean this respectfully, i don’t wanna hear about it. if you disagree with me and what i posted, please go somewhere else to talk about it. i’d rather you not tell me. i cannot stop you, but i’d like you to know that i do not want to hear about your opinion if it is negative. again, respectfully, please go somewhere else to discuss your opinion if you disagree or have a very strong and negative opinion on this.

i do not tolerate any kind of hate. i will not tolerate if you decide to reply to this post, (in any way, whether it’s a reply in the messages thingy or a reblog), with hate or discrimination. if you reply with hateful words or discrimination, you will be blocked. i don’t know if you care about that, but please, take your negative opinion(s) elsewhere. it is not okay to discriminate.

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tossawary · 2 months ago

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This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

#I didn't watch Teen Wolf but I know this happened to that Stiles character #I'm not active in any DC fandom but it looks like this happened to Tim Drake and to a lesser extent Dick and Jason #In prequels-era Star Wars it seems to be Obi-Wan; he's the spark/focus of this post here; bring back his flaws I like that he kind of sucks #sometimes a Fandom's Darling comes out of an Author's Darling! usually Fandom's are vessels to fuck the “hottest guy” available though #I will probably turn reblogs off if this spreads too far because I really don't care if people write Mary Sue fanfic; can't cast that stone #squinting at every “intersex” tag like Inigo Montoya: “I don't think that means what you think it means.”#honestly the fantasy intersex thing is a separate & more serious post; but the fandom usage is a red/yellow flag for me when searching #tossawary fandom #fandom's darling

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merlins-strawberriesandroses · 4 months ago

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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens #BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS #WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS #(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct #IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different #like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs #ugh #he must have been TIRED do you hear me #even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but #she did seem sleepy #okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean #actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it #HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn #I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh #merlin #bbc merlin

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brown-little-robin · 3 months ago

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oh I just realized that my interest in anime and my interest in clowns are linked by the concept of "exaggerated silliness". hmm!!!

#Robin processes emotions on main #live jojoblogging #I once wrote an 18 page paper analyzing the specific humor style of American circus clowns + hobo clowns #it seems that I just really like to study the Concept Of Silliness #your honor simply I love cultural ideas of silliness your honor I want to know how jesters work #your honor ever since I was a little girl I've conceptualized myself as serious + dark grey but I put on the persona of a jester #and turn myself pink and white and I study how other people react to it. your honor I like parodies because they open up to me #how and why the originals work #like a gift #like a teacher handing me a primary source document that talks about another primary source document and saying yes study it #study it and enjoy it #permission to do two layers of study at once #drives me crazyyyy #and a HUGE part of the appeal of JoJos (AND CLOWNS) to me is that they both have humor styles I don't personally naturally resonate with #so then my Silliness Analysis brain kicks into overdrive #trying to figure out WHY they work for some people #oughhhhh #okay #should get to bed but this is so energizing 2 me #thank you anyone who has read this far <33333 #someday I WILL make a whole analysis post explaining why jjba humor is fundamentally the same as clown humor #and you will suffer me

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byberbunk2069 · 9 months ago

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youtube

King of Wands/Song So Mi moodboard or whatever

#Song So Mi #Songbird #this is mostly not serious but also I do love So Mi #She's kinda become the only reason I come back to Cyberpunk 2077 #I'm a sucker for a tragic character #but I hate PL because there are some great moments but I think Dogtown is ass #I think its funny that pre-PL I was prepared to zero Songbird if she turned out to be an Arasaka double agent or somethin #but then there was stuff in some of the trailers that seemed to suggest something was up #and I decided that no matter what I'd take the route that would screw over the NUSA #I think the shower that was the game's rushed production is probably steering me away from engaging with any more “Cyberpunk” branded media #there's more nitpicky stuff that I don't like about Cyberpunk as a whole #but I haven't been able to gather that altogether for a coherent post #Youtube

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kogetaikid · 5 months ago

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TW: Enraged only child. (Thanks for making me have to type this out, world! /nbh)

Y’know what?!

FUCK SIBLINGS!!!!!

Please reblog if:

You’re an only child who wishes they had a sibling

You cry yourself to sleep because you’ll never have siblings

You’re an only child who’s glad they don’t have siblings

You’re an only child, but feel really neutral about it, and don’t care (in that case, I’m happy for you.)

Please reblog if:

You’re an only child living in a big house

You’re an only child living below poverty line

You’re an only child living in a middle class household

You’re an only child with divorced parents

You’re an only child with a happy family

You’re an only child with only one parent

You’re an only child who was adopted

Please reblog if:

You’re a teen and an only child

You’re and adult and an only child

You’re an only child with a lot of friends

You’re an only child with no friends

You’re an only child with one best friend

Please reblog if:

You were born an only child

You have a deceased sibling

If your parents had some sort of health complications that made them unable to have another child

YOU GUYS ARE EPIC AND JUST AS WORTHY OF LOVE, IF NOT, NEED IT A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU THINK!!!

NOT ALL OF US ARE SPOILED OR HAVE IT EASY!!! THERE ARE MANY ONLY CHILDREN OUT THERE THAT HAVE HAD SOME FUCKING SHITTY CHILDHOODS!!!!

THIS HAS BEEN A PSA

(PS: Probably just posting this out of a sleepless rage, but lately I’ve just been reminding myself how much I distract myself from my problems and how others distract me, but at the end of the day, it’s never gonna stop me from hating myself for being conceived, so the least I can to is try to find people like me.)

(PSS: Anything I missed? Let me know!)

#txt #please reblog #only child #psa #vent in tags #I really hope this goes to the right people #I know this seems out of pocket for what I usually post #but this has been something I’ve struggled with all my life…#even from childhood I hated myself for being an only child #I deadass have to turn to straight up forcing myself into denial so I can live in the world of entertainment and look at sibling based #stuff without wanting to put a gun in my mouth #I have been able to step out of my comfort zone a little #and I’m proud of myself for that!#but that was when my friends were with me #now we’re all going to different schools…#and I’m reminded this was all to distract myself #but hey! at least I’m coping with this in a better way #not in a good way #but still a better way #this has been a psa #important notice #important post #im post #important psa #serious post

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unmotivatedartistry · 25 days ago

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Why is this the SECOND time in my life I've cried over viruses/bacteria/microbiology stuff??? Not in the frustrated studying way, but weird fuckass empathy way.

I've always loved microbiology, for a lack of a better word. I love medicine, yes, but at the forefront I love viruses, bacteria, paramecium, that living stuff you see under a microscope. Single-celled organisms and microscopic multicellular organisms. Anything like it.

It goes unappreciated by most, the units of life that build us or the viruses and cells that we came from originally. Who but some nerd who cries over viruses being unappreciated in the middle of an English class during a silent reading period in fucking 8 th grade??? That's me, by the way. That's the first time I cried over them.

For some reason. it makes me so sad how much hate viruses and bacteria get. These are the things that keep us alive and make us how we are, and people hate them and are scared of them. These are the things I love, and for some reason, I feel such sadness realizing how unappreciated all of them are.

They do their jobs without complaint, they live without being known, and they keep us alive. They deserve at least some recognition, to be appreciated. At least the beneficial bacteria/viruses! At the minimum!

Anyways, I don't understand why I'm so attached to these things. It makes me unbearably sad how much I realize they go without credit, and how misrepresented many of them are.

Side note, do you think the cells that make us up love us? Theoretically. If they were alive. Would they? They're a part of us. So, theoretically, if we don't love ourselves, we're bashing a bunch of cells trying their hardest to keep us happy & healthy, and. I don't know. I'm really sad over cells. I wish I could love them enough to make up for the world's hatred. And I think I kinda do. And I know there has to be someone like me somewhere, I just don't know where to find them.

Also, shoutout to my biology teacher feeding my obsession with microbiology and medical sciences in general. She's awesome. She's the only person willing to hear me ramble about cardiology. Or bacteriophages. Do you guys know what bacteriophages are??

anyways, science. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a weirdo or if like half of the population that says I act at least a LITTLE autistic is right. autistic or not, I'm a wee little freak over microbiology.

If anyone read this far, uhh... thanks! I swear I'll get back to drawing soon. I have Ideas and I have new OCs to give. I just . Need a moment to BREATHE because HS is beating my fucking ASS.

#simon says #virus #bacteria #molecular biology #microbiology #bacteriology #virology #biology #rant post #personal rant #IHGUFDHDJIKNN im going to kms (not serious)#im going to turn into a bacteriophage and NONE of you can stop me #or a bacteria #idk chat #they seem peaceful. except for the whole killing each other part but as a virus i dont think you have any higher understanding empathy or e #emotion so like i think thatsd the point

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agapestricken · 2 months ago

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alright, yeah, manja may be kind of sly... BUT have you also considered that she's a seven foot tall partially moth-like woman with luxurious, long black hair and glowing yellow eyes? like she's honestly gorgeous and i'm tired of pretending like she's not okok (LMAO i'm just joking as i know this account is still new so i haven't talked about her much 💀 but even with the, uhhh, body horror thing's manja's got going on — she is stunning)

#NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT BRAVERY FEELS LIKE FEAR: musings.#ooc post.#JSJSJ okay i don't mean to be manja's hypewoman or anything but i am so serious about her being haunting but in an alluring type of way #sometimes. like IDK about you all but if a seven-foot tall woman with long black hair that also happens to wear exquisite robes granted #me the opportunity to save someone through a deal BC she's a death god even though that exception turned out to have some serious strings-#attached to it... i might have some inner conflict surrounding the type of anger i would be feeling towards her NGL. like i feel as if ana-#has felt the kind of anger that comes with someone being beautiful but them also trying to ruin your life at least once around her ahahhh #okay so this is mostly a joke post as you may be able to tell given the fact that i just wrote something flabbergasting 💀#but OFC manja isn't real so this would all be hypothetically speaking. but seriously... y'all can't tell me that there ain't a possibility-#you would melt in this god's arms if she hugged you as ana has gotten hugged by her and it was the most conflicting thing ever #because she both seems kind of tricky and genuinely nice towards the souls she collects #so all in all she is a bit complex as i touched upon before

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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months ago

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truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery

#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one #wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature''#Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure #and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all #born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b)#investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there'']#all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao #b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character #but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout #as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response #not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it]#& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol #& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts #and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao #so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery #embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!]#2 trans 2 furious #which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there #was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol''#page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao #classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice #which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be #like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah #do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost #& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure]#and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao

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firstroseofspring · 3 months ago

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thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!

#diary #miral of course miral this post as all other posts on my blog is about miral. head in my hands #john torres and his projected insecurities and shitty behavior you will always be infamous.#im so deeply rooted in my headcanons for them i have au's . girl the universe isnt even that well established ?#call me b'elanna torres the way i'm turning miral and john over in my head to figure out what the heck happened #in my head john and miral are like. john voice she's never stuttered in her life she always knows what to do she's very serious strong head #on her shoulders. my kind of woman.#meanwhile miral is like. act first pray on it later was that a mistake? well what is a mistake really this is my path now #and i'll have to see how to handle what has been done. seeing as now it can't be changed shrugs. the honorable thing to do.#i also think they see a lot of their flaws as like-#consequences of their cultures and not like personal flaws which can sometimes be true but also sometimes they are very much flaws in the #person.#miral is a little too sure of herself bordering on arrogance and likes control. john is like ahh klingons and their surefootedness :)#<- a little correct but also very wrong.#john is very like. at his worst a cold shoulder bad at personal confrontation kind of a pushover quick to resent but usually just seems #serious and occasionally quiet . normally social tho! so miral is like. a consequence of his upbringing that can't be changed. i will #take him as he is.#which is a nice sentiment and would normally be applied well unless you are these two specifically.#what happens when its 10 or even just five years later and you're getting tired of the cowardice? what happens when its five years later and #you can't go a day without arguing? what happens then.#did you confuse her arrogance for poise for assertiveness? did you confuse her recklessness with courage? whos wrong her or you?#miral voice is he a fool does he not care? he's content to just stand by? cower?#i think from the klingon pov a man who isn't willing to fight for you and your relationship must be devastatinggggg #not literally of course here but also literally. lol #but yeah what does it do to you when the person you love won't even argue with you anymore just totally pulls away? leaves. head in my hands #who do you think fell first. idk but i know who fell harder! :) <- tears in my eyes #i really like pathways where they made miral like a chatty woman and had her offer to host parties for b'elanna and her friends it was so #sweet i should read it again.#i like her to be a little crazy though <3 :)

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medicinemane · 4 months ago

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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them

Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening

It's all I really ask

#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine #like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through #you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine #it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them #people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say #...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on #that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care #...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them #would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so #...but I don't know; eats at me... you know #...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me #if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you #...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject #when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right #I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart #and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up #thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say #truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want #but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck #...that's how it feels anyway #but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters #this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong #like sputnik levels or wrong #drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on #but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much #where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't #it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine #...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired #mm tag so i can find things later

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yesplsnothankyou · 4 months ago

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I only come on tumblr when I'm at the very end of my rope and barely hanging on by a quickly disintegrating thread and I don't know what that tells you about me

#boygenius #lah posting #I took the drugs again #I'm worse but better #I will not stagnate #i have therapy tomorrow #it's gonna be another one of those times when I spend the whole time crying #I don't have anyone anymore that i can rely on to hold space for me when I cry #i can hold space for my own emotions now thank you very much #i'm extremely proud of that fact because six months ago that hill felt absolutely insurmountable #but it really helps when there's occasionally someone else to help with that #sorrow shared is half the sorrow and joy shared is double joy #and all that #but i'm really scared for how this is going to end #i'm in really fucking deep at this point #and it's only getting deeper #i don't want to lose my person or the farm or our plans for the future #but it can't go on like this #no matter what i do #and i can't make him realise and i can't do it for him #but i'm afraid that instead of facing the music and turning shit around he's going to choose a much worse way of dealing with things #If this ends i don't think i could ever date again #i know that's dramatic but i'm being very serious about this #i keep thinking i'm dating someone completely different each time but then every time without fail after a year or two #they get into a deep funk and can't seem to do anything but stew and complain and be mean and ruin any chance of being in a good mood #every single time to the point where i wonder if that's just what happens to people who date me #and i can't stand it because while i'm far from toxic positivity i take pride in choosing to not behave like that when things dont go my wa #but i can't risk letting this keep happening again. I genuinely think i can now be happier loving myself than i'd ever be trusting romance.#I've come so far in my healing and I can't keep letting people derail me who have no idea how to self-regulate or have self-compassion #I'm getting sick again. I can feel it happening in my body

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bleu-sang · 1 year ago

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I wish I had someone to talk about how much amatonormativity traumatized me

Not only when I was a kid and grew up scared that my parents would abandon me because people would keep asking me if they "started a new life" but didn't get it was romantically speaking and really thought they were gonna leave town and forget about me

Or not just because as a teen everyone started dating and caring about romantic shits that I couldn't understand and I felt this suffocating pressure that I had to become like them if I wanted to be accepted/normal

But mostly because I am terrified to be seen as an object that can be used and discarded without my consent because I "just don't know" what I'm "missing out" or I "just didn't find the right person yet" or I "just had bad experiences and need to get over it with someone new"

The only message I seem to get from amatonormativity is that my life is worthless if I don't have someone to share it with (romantically & sexually) and that romance and sex can be forced upon me if I don't act like I want them

And it's so scary. It's so so scary.

To know that my life has no value and that I deserve to experience traumatic stuffs to "cure" me

To know that anyone could want that from me and that it wouldn't be acceptable to say "no" because my body is disposable and belongs more to others than it does to me since I just "don't know" that I want to say "yes" yet

And all I'm left with is a bunch of trust issues because anyone I meet could turn on me at any moment and it would be socially acceptable.

Anyone could discard me to "start a new life" with someone that want the same things as them (romance and sex)

Anyone I meet could hit on me and ask stuffs from me that I cannot give them and I would almost always be the bad guy for rejecting them and I know that they could force me and that I wouldn't be taken seriously if anything happened

I don't know, maybe it's just the invisible poc aroace trans neurodivergent otherkin fem-looking ghost in me who's too used to be not acknowledged talking but I think something is deeply wrong with this society and I will not feel safe until it's done right.

#fuck amatonormativity #felt like sharing some traumatic stuffs that happened some time ago & left me bruised but didnt have anyone to turn to #+ i just know no one will understand anyways bc my aroace identity is never taken too seriously & aphobia is way too normalized #so im just sitting in bed all alone feeling like crying forever bc no one seems to understand #made a more general post instead of talking directly abt the problem but i hope u can feel at least a portion of my fear in here #no one should feel like that. i didnt do anything to deserve that #i just want to go someplace safe where everyone is aroace and amatonormativity doesn't exist #aromanticism #asexuality #serious talk

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paleangels13 · 5 months ago

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Helloo, I still exist did anyone even notice I was mostly gone lol

Anyone interested in ehhh...slightly unhinged work-related talk?

No?

Well. Too bad

Anyone that knows me irl please ignore the tags – I'm embarrassed ✨🥰

#I said ignore the tags #please ignore them #I'm serious #alright soooo...i started this new job about 1 1/2 months ago... It's not great or anything neither is the payment but it's alright #also I can walk there from home bc it's so close by which is nice I guess #anywayyy it's a grocery store owned and run by a family (my boss and his wife + their 2 (3??) adult children)#now my boss is kinda hard to figure out I always think he's annoyed which makes me insecure but I think that's just how he is idk lol #but he isn't rude or anything (at least I never noticed??)#his wife seems nice and so does (one of) their daughter(s(?))#his son – who is idk probably in his early 30s?? could also be late 20s but I can't guess people's age – is the manager #he's nice as well I think and he even jokes around with (some of) the employees from time to time #either way...this is all rather irrelevant. Point is some part of me has decided to be uhhh weird about him in the past week ig #and I don't think that feeling was there before?? Idk I don't consider him attractive or anything (at least I don't think I do??) + he's #married (?? He's definitely taken) and has two children I think judging from his profile picture in our work-app at least and like I said #he could also be quite a bit older (I mean...yk)#anywayyy i am being weird about him and something within me turned into teenager mode or whatever and iiiiiiii don't know what to do lol #not that it's really a big deal I suppose it's just that he's my boss' son and my supervisor/manager/superior/?? which makes thoughts #outside of work weird (:#no i will not elaborate #alright tag rant over I'm not sure I really wanna post this this feels awkward to post publicly hah :')#will probably delete later #someone send help #((:

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shoechoe · 1 year ago

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im not particularly into romantic ships !! (but i like contributing 2 ask games) sooo hmm... whats ur favorite canon friendship or dynamic ? or one u'd like to see in jjba?

Don't worry- I like this ask too.

I wouldn't say I have one canon (non-romantic) character dynamic in particular that I would consider my favorite, but I can list a few of them in no particular order:

-Polnareff and Abdul (I also think the ship is pretty cute)

-Diavolo and Doppio (I find this one the most fun to think & talk about for obvious reasons)

-Trish and Bruno

-Yasuho and Josuke (8) (this one was sort of implied-romantic, but I'll count it)

-Josuke (4) and Okuyasu

-Jolyne, Foo Fighters & Hermes

I also really would've liked to see what an interaction between Doppio and Trish would've looked like- both of them were criminally underused and it's a shame.

I get very excited about character dynamics, but I don't really care much for romantic ships myself either. When I say I "like" a ship, most of the time what I mean by that is if a mutual or friend is into it, I'll nod and give a thumbs up from the sidelines or maybe think "oh, that's kind of cute, sure". The only times I get the "shippy" feelings that I assume are the main appeal of shipping is if I care about one or preferably both characters very, very much, which just doesn't happen often. (Also, I get kind of irrationally territorial about characters I care about to that level, so I'd probably only trust ship art from me and a few people lol.)

#asks #ask game #(very long tag ramble incoming oops)#it's also dependent on if i think the character is shippable or not- most of my favs really aren't #i am particularly turned off by most (serious) ships with diavolo in it. they all feel ooc #i just don't think you can write him falling in love or dating somebody and have it be in character like... at all #(with the exception being donatella who i have a whole jumble of thoughts on)#doppio ships are also squicks for me but for different reasons #i find kiraboss the least 'bad' popular diavolo ship in that i find it tolerable but i don't feel like it works as a serious thing #though for a while me and my friends started shipping diavolo with pucci as a joke and i thought it was hilarious #but then i saw a popular artist post serious pucci x diavolo and it kinda ruined it for me sjdfkldsjfk. anyways.#for a non-JJBA fav example this is also the same for ZIM. one of his big things is that he doesn't care much for anyone but himself #except like... GIR. he just doesn't have the personality for a ship to work for me #romance in invader zim is just an odd concept in general i think...#the valentine's day episode introduced a girl irken and had her ''date'' zim and make them the most atrocious pairing ever #just to highlight the absurdity of romance in IZ... but then people started shipping them because. i can only assume they missed the point?#ship what you want but the point of that episode seemed clear to me idk

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brittlebutch · 1 year ago

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one of the many reasons Aabria is such a good GM is because of the very keen eye she keeps on the social dynamics and interactions that happens at the table and i absolutely Love her for it

#N posts stuff #ppl have been talking about it a lot for the interaction between Thorn and his followers -> the mostly joke the Player was making #about giving Ava advantage on an intimidate check turning into a Serious confrontation about the dynamic Thorn has w/ those followers #which is an Excellent example but i'm watching a court of fae ep and she does it really well here as well; in and After the convo rue & hob #have about the Goblin Court Marriage -> there's an overt Disparity in how Rue views courts and how Hob does that colors a kind of #miscommunication between them; Rue and Hob know each other as kindred spirits in feeling Alienated from their courts #but Rue tends to see themself as wholly Separate from their court (barely part of it at all) whereas Hob still clearly Does take a staunch #Identity as a Member of the Goblin Court -> so when Rue talks about the marriage and Hob's role in it they see it as something Hob is being #manipulated or Commanded into caring about whereas Hob pretty clearly seems to take it as a Personal wound - Rue doesn't care #about the dynamics or standing of their court bc they're Separate but Hob DOES care about those things bc he's still Part Of it #even if he still feels alienated from it at the same time; they take a different approach in how they feel in that alienation #which is why Rue's sentiment of 'take care of yourself' seems to leave Hob on the verge of tears; bc he doesn't Share that approach #and Aabria seemingly takes serious notice of this because the Immediate next convo is between Rue and an NPC who calls Rue out #for that disparity -> saying they're a Fool if they think that Everyone around them doesn't feel the Weight of their court behind them #ie; even though Rue sees themself as Separate they're still reaping a social Privilege in Being a member of their court anyway #a 'you can't have it both ways' kind of call out that is So choice and i love it a lot; rue having to Immediately confront #their own perceptions like that even tho they still wont quite Acknowledge it; tasty i love it <3 #btw i've decided to start being SO annoying about my thoughts on subjects; this is bc i take So so many notes on them & i like to share :3 #but my Fic Writing words have been screwed to hell lately so. one billion analysis posts upon ye instead

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