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viviennevermillion · 2 years ago

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ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅ

❝ you see my heart i wear it on my sleeve, 'cause i just can't hide it anymore. i know that it's gonna take some time; i've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind: this might end up like it should ❞ — daughtry

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ: character x gn!reader, ideal dates

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: alhaitham, baizhu, capitano, cyno, diluc, dottore, kaveh, pantalone, tighnari, wanderer

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: dottore's ideal date includes observing his creepy mad scientist experiments. he's sweet to reader but very much not a good person in this and neither are you

ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: guess who is back? thought hitting 4.5k followers might be a good time to break my 3 month genshin hiatus and comeback with a 10 character headcanon post. comments and reblogs are appreciated! you're also always welcome to shoot me an ask about my works! 💙

ᴅɴɪ: ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇʀꜱ, ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴇɴᴛʜᴜꜱɪᴀꜱᴛꜱ, ʙʟᴏɢꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴜꜱᴇʀɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘꜰᴘ

Alhaitham isn’t really the type to go out of his way to take you on dates if there isn’t a special occasion. Before the two of you got together, he would often ask you whether you’d like to go to the tavern with him after he finished up work or join him in the library. Once in a while you’d take a walk together and sometimes after you spent time, Alhaitham would invite you over to dinner at his house, apologising for his roommate in advance even though you found Kaveh to be not even half as unpleasant as Alhaitham thought he was.

“Dates” with Alhaitham always retain this character of a loose and relaxed hangout with a good friend, even throughout your relationship. Of course, Alhaitham will pay attention to your needs and make sure you don’t doubt his love for you, but he doesn’t really care for the conventional idea of a date. He mostly wants to spend time with you.

For Alhaitham the most important part of your dates are the conversations. He wouldn’t have fallen for you if he doesn’t love to have long, in-depth conversations with you about whatever comes to mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re as well-versed in a subject as he is with language; as long as you’re able to hold your own in a discussion with him, he’ll have a good time. If you manage to answer something clever and humorous to a question he asks you, you might get a chuckle out of him. It’s how you found out that Alhaitham actually has a very warm laugh that makes you feel content in his presence.

Being with Alhaitham means that sometimes you forget the fact that you’re even on a date. You’re so immersed in the conversation with him, his hand placed on top of yours as he takes another sip of his coffee, that the environment around you just fades away; whether you’re out in the forests or having a meal at the tavern.

Just make sure to not take Alhaitham to places that are too loud or too crowded. He prefers a quiet and calm atmosphere where he can focus on you and his thoughts. After all, he came here for some quality time with the person he loves rather than listening to a drunk scholar’s misadventures at the table next to him. He brings his noise-cancelling headphones along with him, but he still makes sure to get the two of you a quiet place away from the busy chatter of the townfolk.

Alhaitham loves to take you to Akademiya exhibitions or ruins in the desert. He’s well-aware that sitting over a book for hours and researching a topic may not be everybody’s cup of tea, so he likes going out with you to places where you can actually see the things he studies while he explains them to you. He’ll show you ancient scriptures and patiently tells you what they mean and why they were written.

Those days typically end with the two of you enjoying a nice meal that Alhaitham cooked at home and you resting your head in his lap; tired from all the walking and exploring, as your significant other picks up one of his books to read. You close your eyes and he places one hand on your back and lets you rest close to him. If you have any questions about the book he’s reading or need anything, don’t hesitate to ask him. He’ll answer if it’s you.

Baizhu would love to spend his day exploring Liyue with you, taking you to all the beautiful places you haven’t seen yet. But unfortunately, due to his condition, this isn’t always possible. He apologizes for this way more than he should. You and Changsheng tend to scold him for this. You’d cup his face in your hands and press a kiss to his lips. “As long as I’m with you, I’m having the time of my life”, you reassure him with a gentle voice and litter his face with soft kisses to drive the point home. With every kiss, Baizhu grows more flustered but his smile becomes wider. “Very well then”, he coughs and pulls you into a hug, “if you say so, I’ll hold you to it.”

Baizhu likes to go on spa dates with you. He takes you to a thermal bath in Liyue Harbor. You have to remind him that he already explained the health benefits of spa treatment to you multiple times, or he’ll do it again. Doctor’s habits. You chuckle at how he puts a hand on his neck and stumbles over his words when you two finish his sentence in sync; him having completely forgotten how familiar you already are with his medical rambles.

You two relax in the brine bath as slow music plays along with quiet white noise. Baizhu leans back against the wall of the pool and lets out a relaxed sigh.

Changsheng is resting on a miniature beach chair you insisted to bring along because you “thought it was cute”.

You twirl a strand of Baizhu’s long hair around your finger. “You’re so beautiful with your hair down”, you breathe and pull him into a deep kiss, which Baizhu readily accepts. “You keep telling me”, he chuckles but avoids looking into your eyes. “Well it’s true”, you insist and Baizhu once more can’t believe how you look at him like he’s the most precious thing you have ever laid eyes on. “You should have seen him the first time you told him that”, Changsheng raises her voice, “he was a flustered mess but he’s been smiling for days afterwards.” “I- Did you have to tell them that?”, Baizhu sighs. “This is still tame compared to that time she told me that you had to redo my prescription because you absentmindedly drew a heart next to my name”, you laugh and Baizhu’s head turns towards his snake companion in shock. “You did what-”

You’re giggling at this point. Baizhu just lets out a disappointed sigh,

“Did you know that the salt in a brine bath can help with various skin and even lung diseases and is a tried and tested remedy for them?”, Baizhu asks as you make another amateur attempt at braiding his hair. “Yes, you told me”, you kiss his cheek, smiling against his skin. “The high concentration of salt in the water also makes you float effortlessly, if you lie down in the water.” Against your protests, Baizhu makes you abandon your masterpiece (a loose braid you improvised without any idea what you’re doing) and holds you as you lean back, letting you float on the water as you look up to the ceiling. It’s the first time you notice that the owners of the establishment have actually crafted the ceiling above the pool to look like the night sky; false stars sparkling above anyone who might come to be in your position right now. “Isn’t it beautiful?”, Baizhu, who had been looking up to the ceiling, remarks. When his eyes meet yours again, he realizes your attention had already shifted. “You’re supposed to look at the ceiling, not my face”, he chuckles but you protest and brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Got distracted”, you wink and Baizhu leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

The two of you spend a relaxing day at the spa, sharing herbal tea and ending up in each other’s arms at every possible opportunity.

Capitano, on a day off from his duties as a Fatui Harbinger, prefers to spend the majority of hours at home with you; alone, where he can take off his mask. You’re the only one he has trusted to take it off around in a very long time. A small price to pay for your affection; the way you kiss his lips softly as if he was fragile, even though most would regard him as a monster. Throughout his lifetime he had internalized that his hands were ones meant to kill and lead his men into battle. How ironic it was then, how gentle Capitano was with you. How he held your face in his big hands and looked at you with unmatched adoration in his eyes, whispering how much he loved you while pressing kisses to your forehead.

Capitano likes to take you to the botanical gardens of Zapolyarny Palace. It’s a little project of his; taking care of some of the gardening in his freetime, planting new flowers and making sure they thrive even in a nation such as Snezhnaya. When you first met the Captain, you never expected a man like him to have a hobby like this, but now that you knew, you found it endearing. Just one more thing that you adored about the man.

Capitano takes your hand into his and the two of you take a walk through the garden. He has been working on it for over a decade now and you can tell that he is proud of the result, especially when he gets to see that you find it beautiful and like to visit. After having relied on brute force in his profession for a long time and with the sheer strength Capitano had, it was difficult at first to tend to small, fragile beings such as plants. But everyone has to start somewhere right?

Capitano, being one of the strongest and also one of the most trusted harbingers, has been sent abroad on a mission in the name of the Tsaritsa countless times. An entire shelf in his bedroom is just filled with travel logs that you love to browse through on a relaxing day together like this. You’ll be snuggled up in his arms, skimming through the pages and letting Capitano explain the story behind the pictures he took and the paragraphs he wrote. It was like each time you did this, you learned another new thing to love about him. For someone who was sent into war and all kinds of mysterious dealings, Capitano’s travel logs were surprisingly ordinary. They included the food he had for dinner in a foreign nation, how he witnessed the locals dance at a festival and the natural phenomenons he wanted to make note of. Perhaps these were the things that stuck with him; the experiences he wanted to remember.

In the evenings, Capitano takes you stargazing. Throughout his lonesome strive across Teyvat, the stars had been his trusted companion. Therefore, he knew quite a lot about the constellations and how to use them to navigate. He’d be happy to explain it to you or just sit there with you in silence by the side of a campfire, watching as a shooting star trails across the sky. “Are you going to make a wish?”, you ask, smiling at him from the side. Capitano shakes his head and takes your hand into his. “I have everything I want for as long as I have you.”

If you ask Cyno to pick a date idea, you know full well where this is going. You could have just asked “which deck are you going to use for Genius Invokation TCG today?” because that will be what you’re going to be doing if you let Cyno pick. If you’re as enthusiastic about the game as he is, even better.

The two of you could have a picnic or visit the tavern to play against other people, Cyno leaves that choice to you. He brings all of his cards, safely concealed within a limited edition Genius Invokation TCG card box, and you’re one of the only people who’s allowed to play with his most rare cards and the ones with a holographic layer.

He may ramble about how he obtained them and how the intricate design is symbolic for xy plotline in King of Invokations, his favorite novel, but that’s just how he is. A joke here and there, a TCG novel quote thrown in; if you indulge him and encourage him he’s over the moon for you, although he’s making a (bad) attempt at keeping it together.

If he plays against other people, he’s expecting you to back him up. Knowing you have his back and are cheering him on makes Cyno even more dedicated to win. “The strength you see now does not come from the fortune of my cards, but instead from within; a heart determined to not fail the loved ones who have put their trust in me”, Cyno’s expression becomes more serious as he puts his cards on the table in front of his opponents, “this is a quote from ‘King of Invokations’ that I have felt deeply the first time I read it.” You repress a chuckle and simply leave a kiss on his cheek before getting up to grab your drinks from the tavern counter.

“I believe I have earned myself a kiss”, Cyno smiles at you triumphantly after winning against the group of people he met at the tavern. “I don’t remember promising you one as a reward”, you tease and he smirks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Well I suppose if you don’t want to, it can’t be helped-”

He’s unsurprised by how you pull him into your arms, locking your lips with his and burying your fingers in his soft white hair. Cyno smiles into the kiss, squeezing your hand gently. The way he reciprocates your gesture shows how much love he feels for you in this moment.

Cyno only becomes more smitten the more you compliment him for his TCG strategies and his hard-won victories; feeling his heart beat faster as you trail a couple of light kisses down his neck. “I had no doubts you would win”, you smile against his soft skin and Cyno rests his forehead against yours. “Whether I win or lose, for as long as I am privy to your love, I will emerge from every duel victorious”, Cyno whispers and you laugh. “I can’t believe you’re still using King of Invokations quotes to flirt with me.” “They worked better back when you hadn’t read the novels yet”, he lets out a sigh, “it was the price that had to be paid for making you familiar with the lore around Genius Invokation TCG.” You chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist, nuzzling his cheek. “In turn, you can imagine my surprise when I read them for the first time and recognized some of the most memorable things you had said to me…tsk tsk, Cyno, you have to be more original.” Cyno takes your hand into his and looks into your eyes with an earnest look. “In my defense, I remembered them when I spent time with you and they happened to perfectly describe how I feel for you”, he explains before his lips met yours once more.

Cyno spends the afternoon helping you improve your own Genius Invokation TCG playstyle and he shares some snacks ordered from the tavern with you. You can see that he’s passionate and enjoys every second of this date, even if he tries to play it cool. His still obvious excitement is enough of a reward for you, even if you don’t win the game.

Diluc keeps things classic when he plans a date with you. He’ll take a walk with you through Mondstadt, especially on days when the city hosts a market with fresh food and handmade crafts to look at while you enjoy a nice and sunny day in the City of Freedom.

If you have your eyes on anything, Diluc might get it for you. He enjoys seeing the smile on your face when he hands the item to you. Diluc has more than enough Mora and if he can use it to add a little joy to your day? That’s all he could hope for. The cool summer breeze and bustling market reminds him of days long gone, when he’d go to the city with his father to promote the drinks created at Dawn Winery. If he’s feeling comfortable enough around you, he might even tell you about it.

“Ah, young Master Diluc…I haven’t seen you stop by in a while”, an older man calls out to Diluc as the two of you pass his stall, “and you must be y/n, right? I remember how quickly word spread throughout the town when it became official that Mondstadt’s richest bachelor had finally settled down. There were a lot of disappointed young ladies, let me tell you…” Diluc awkwardly chuckles and takes your hand in his. “This is Ralf. He’s been putting up this stall at least once a month ever since I can remember”, Diluc explains. The man laughs and turns to you. “You should have seen him when he was just a wee little lad. His father would always buy a bag of cinnamon curd balls for him and Cavalry Captain Kaeya at my stall and the two of them would fight over it as if it was their last meal on death row.” You chuckle at the image of Diluc and Kaeya having a brotherly quarrell over something as simple as baked goods. Although, imagining them as children, it seemed quite on brand for the two. “Ah, that”, Diluc runs a hand through his hair and looks up to the sky as he recalls the memories that seem so far out of reach by now, “looking back on it, it seems like such a trivial matter.”

As you leave through the city gates, Diluc holds your hand all the way back to the winery and if you ask him about it, he’ll tell you more about those simple days of the past when he’d visit the city on the weekends with his family; even smiling fondly at the memory despite the pain in his heart about the death of his father and the estrangement from Kaeya. You were glad your date together could make him recall the good aspects of those memories.

While you were out in Mondstadt, Diluc’s maids already prepared a nice candlelit dinner for the two of you. Diluc has informed them of what kinds of food you prefer and they will adjust the dishes according to your liking. Over a plate of regional food from Mondstadt, you and Diluc talk about all sorts of topics that have come up recently, and Diluc makes sure to also convey his feelings to you through his words more thoroughly than usual. As soon as you finished eating, Diluc sits down with you on the couch and lets you rest in his arms as you continue your conversation from the dinner table. The maids light up even more candles to provide for a romantic atmosphere and quiet instrumental music sounds from the record player.

Diluc lets his hair down and lets out a sigh. On days like these he decides to let the Darknight Hero rest for a night. After all you deserve for the conclusion of your day together to be sleeping in his arms throughout the night. You rest your head on his shoulder and watch the calming flames of the fireplace as Diluc runs his fingertips up and down your arm. “I apologize if I haven’t spent as much time with you lately”, Diluc whispers and pulls you into a kiss, “please know that I missed you dearly and I love you with all my heart.” You peck at his lips a couple times before reassuring him that you already know. “I love you too, Diluc.”

If you decided to date the mad scientist who earns his wages by experimenting on people you should have seen that one coming but Dottore’s idea of date night includes sharing the research with you that he’s so passionate about.

He lets you pick the experiment. Is there anything you ever wanted to know about the human soul? Our behaviours and motivations? Or perhaps the powers of the gods? The truth of this world? Look no further, because your beloved Zandik is going to get you some answers to them through his rather….unconventional methods. After all, knowledge is the one thing he strives for above all else; and as such it shouldn’t be kept away from the person he loves as well. Whatever knowledge you seek to have, Dottore will happily help you to obtain it.

“We don’t have all day, y/n. The experiment is scheduled to begin in a couple of minutes”, he sighs and reminds you to hurry up as you give your affection to at least five of his clones that passed you by on your way to the lab. They were always yearning for your attention; as Prime Dottore received most of it, and who were you to turn them down? “You were the one who thought it was a good idea to try and woo me when there’s at least 20 of you”, you tease and link your arm with the one he held out to you, “or are you getting jealous again?”

Dottore doesn’t respond to your teasing and simply takes the elevator to the underground laboratory with you. He wraps his arms around you and looks into the mirror inside the elevator at how the two of you looked together. The fact that a man like him who had taken so many lives was now so adamant about protecting and nurturing just one brought a chuckle to his lips. “I thought you said that you cleared the lab out safe for your clones”, you remark, “don’t you think it’s time to take that mask off?”

Dottore indulges you and does as you say. You cup his face in your hands. “I still don’t understand why you’d hide a face this beautiful behind a mask”, you smile and press some soft kisses to the scars on his temple. Dottore’s lips meet yours and he wraps his arms tighter around you, unwilling to let go of you just yet. He kisses you passionately. Your fingertips are buried in the soft teal hair that falls into his neck and Dottore sighs into the kiss, no intention of ending it anytime soon.

“I thought you said we don’t have all day?”, you smirk, pushing him back gently and leading him out of the elevator, “or is that only when I give affection to your segments?” “I’ll let you guess”, Zandik whispers into your ear and presses a kiss to your cheek before heading off the supply closet to get you your lab gear. He actually had it custom-made for you. He explains to you how to wear it properly, as lab safety is very important. “I’ve seen you come in here in a t-shirt and sweatpants”, you raise an eyebrow. “I’m experienced. Let it be of no concern to you. However, seeing you get hurt in my laboratory when the purpose of this day is to provide you with the knowledge you seek is the last thing I’d want.”

He presses a kiss to your hands before he slips the protective gloves onto your fingers.

Before beginning the experiment, Dottore lets you come up with your own hypothesis about the outcome. He’s curious to hear your thoughts and why you have this perspective on the experiment setup. He explains how he set up this particular experiment in response to your questions and lets you read the files of the test subjects.

All in all, Dottore’s research of that day doesn’t differ too much from a regular work day as a Fatui Harbinger, yet he finds himself enjoying to have you around and sharing his findings with you. He makes a note to ask you whether you’d be interested in becoming his assistant permanently.

Kaveh would love to take you out to the theatre to watch a play with you. He loves the atmosphere of the theatre; that he can forget about reality for a moment and just immerse himself in someone else’s story while also being led to think about the matter of the play in more depth. He wants to share this experience with you.

Kaveh is the type to bring you flowers before your date. He knows quite a bit about the language of flowers and carefully selects those kinds that would best convey his feelings for you.

He gets nice seats at a table near the stage of Zubayr Theatre for you and brings some drinks and snacks from the nearest cafe or tavern. Before the play begins, Kaveh reads through the leaflet that Nilou had given to you about this new play that would premiere on the night of your date with Kaveh. “I must say, I am really interested in how the story is going to play out, based on the summary they’re giving here”, Kaveh tells you, “it’s always interesting to see the prompt first and wonder how they’re going to make this work with the costumes and props.”

He goes on to talk about how he’d be sure to help the theatre out if they ever needed any advice on architectural styles during a certain time period or needed some designs for their props; but they have yet to commission him. And of course he rants about how Alhaitham just can’t understand the beauty of the performing arts. “I’m glad you get it though”, Kaveh takes your hand into his as the play is about to begin. You sit closer to him so you’ll be able to rest your head on his shoulder or wrap his arms around his waist while watching the play.

Kaveh is mesmerized by what is happening on stage and sometimes quietly rambles about the design of the costumes or the ways the actors express the emotions of their characters. You smile at him fondly as he’s watching the play, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and finding it amusing how much he’s already lost in the fairytale being shown. Your touch distracts him for a moment and Kaveh turns his head to you and presses a kiss to your lips before returning his attention to the stage.

The two of you laugh and talk a lot on your way back home; discussing all the facets of the play. At the end of the day, Kaveh just wants to be alone with you for a bit and be held in your arms. Luckily Alhaitham isn’t home yet, so Kaveh can avoid any quarrels with his roommate.

Kaveh rests his head on your chest and closes his eyes while you undo his hairstyle and run your hands through the strands on his head. He lets out a relaxed sigh and a smile finds its way to his face. “I love you so dearly”, he whispers and notices how warm your embrace feels. You press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too, sunshine”, you chuckle and run your fingertips over the exposed skin of his back, which made Kaveh melt into your embrace and relax even more.

You cup his cheek gently and kiss him, pouring all your love for him into the gesture. Kaveh wore his heart on his sleeve around you and you always knew how he felt about you. In turn, you only considered it natural to express your affections for him in the same way. Kaveh longs for someone who feels as deeply about something as him and will understand him and love him the way he is. Today was just another day to prove that finally someone does.

You want to be taken out on a nice date? Well, look no further, because this man is going to go all out for you. Pantalone has all the riches in the world, as far as Mora is concerned, and why wouldn't he spend it on his dearest? It is said that the Regrator has a unique understanding of wealth and Mora is just one facet of that. After all, when it comes to love, isn't what we treasure most the memories with our loved ones? And if he can use his Mora to make this one the most memorable date you've ever been on; that's every reason not to be stingy with it.

It all starts with Pantalone joining you for dinner after his work for the day was done; pulling you into a loving kiss that made you drop whatever it was you were currently doing and just be close to him. Pantalone has always been affectionate with you, but with how clingy and appreciative he is today; you either suspect he had a bad day or just one of those days where his thoughts kept circling back to you and he missed you from the moment he left to the second he was reunited with you. Or perhaps it had to do with your anniversary that was approaching.

He pulls out a leaflet from his bag, putting it down on the table in front of you. You take a look at it, looking back up at him in confusion. "A tailor?", you question, still holding the advertisement in your hands. Pantalone nods. "I have recently met them in the city; their store is very new and quite exquisite. They will be here tomorrow to take a commission from the two of us. I have purchased an establishment in the far north and a ball will be held there on our anniversary. Please make sure to give the tailor a detailed description of the suit or dress you want to wear to it", Pantalone takes your hand into his and squeezes it gently, "please do not hold back. If you want there to be real diamonds on it, there's going to be real diamonds on it."

On the day of your anniversary, Pantalone procured a carriage with a portable heater to take you to your destination. Still, he makes sure to also keep you warm personally, holding you in his arms all the way. He kisses you deeply, pulling you into his lap as he showers you in his love and affection.

Pantalone has a nice suite prepared for the two of you in the luxurious building that the ball is being held in and upon arrival he asks you to change into the outfit that the tailor had prepared for you. "Do notify me when you're done and if you need any help, just call out to me."

However when you step out of the dressing room, Pantalone is nowhere to be found. Your questions are answered just a moment later as he enters the room again, wearing a custom-made luxurious suit and holding a bouquet of roses in his hand. "These are for you, my dearest", he kisses you cheek.

Upon entering the ballroom, you notice there isn't really anyone in it aside from the staff and the musicians that Pantalone hired to play your favorite songs. "Where are all the people?", you wonder. Your lover chuckles. "Darling, did you really believe I was going to put you through boring conversations with foreign emissaries and businessmen today?", he presses a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then another to your neck, "no, this is just for the two of us."

"You're aware that you can just rent a location, right, you don't have to buy the whole thing every time?", you raise an eyebrow at him but let him indulge you. He gives you his signature smile with a hint of mischievousness. "Oh no, you misunderstood me, love, I had this built for you over the course of the last few months." "Wait what-"

Pantalone dances the night away with you and enjoys your favorite food with you that he hired famous chefs to make. If you want to sit down for a while or just kiss him and be in his arms, he's fine with that too.

"I love all of this, but why did we come so far out here for this date?", you ask as Pantalone takes your hand into his and gently rubs the back of it with his thumb. "Well, to top it off, once we're done dancing for the night, I'm going to take you to see the northern lights. They're quite beautiful, although they don't compare to you in the slightest", Pantalone pulls you into a hug, "and after that I'll have the staff prepare a nice bath for the two of us. How does that sound?"

Pantalone loves you with all of his heart and if he feels confident enough that you return his love in full....well there might just be another surprise waiting for you in the form of a diamond ring he brought along.

Tighnari's idea of a nice date includes a hike through the nature of Sumeru's rainforest. If you're not that into hiking, you don't have to go far and you can also walk as slowly as you wish to, Tighnari will adapt to you.

He prepared a picnic for you as well. Some of the food for it he bought at the tavern; a few of the items he made himself. Although….Collei definitely helped.

The two of you eventually stop by a dock near the Apam Woods. “This seems like a good place to rest, don’t you think?”, Tighnari smiles at you and takes his shoes off; sitting down on the dock and letting his feet meet the cold but calming water of the creek while pulling some of the snacks out of his backpack. You sit down next to him. “There’s even a little house here with a cooking pot and a small table on a tree trunk….I wonder who built this here…it’s too small for a human”, you muse and look to Tighnari for answers. “Well, legends speak of an ancient race of small forest creatures connected to the Dendro Archon. Those small houses are scattered all over the rainforest. The people of Sumeru tend to say that they belong to the Aranara. Although I’m not sure how much truth there is to that”, Tighnari shrugs.

You decide for the baklava Collei made as a snack and lean back to let the sun shine on your face. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”, Tighnari puts his hand over yours, “I just hope none of the adventurers happen to stumble upon me here and go ‘oh Forest Watcher, please help me; I put my hand inside of the mouth of a Rishboland Tiger and now my arm fell off; whatever shall I do?’ this time.” You grin and raise an eyebrow at him. “This wasn’t actually something that happened, right?”, you chuckle. “Kaveh calls that one ‘stylistic exaggeration’, if I recall correctly”, Tighnari laughs. “Fits perfectly with your usual sass”, you tease and your hand wanders to his ears, gently scratching one of them.

“Collei wanted to make a bet with me how long it’s going to take you before you start doing this once we sit down somewhere”, Tighnari sighs, “she said about half an hour. I didn’t even give you 10 minutes.” You pout and reach for his other ear. “I know you like this and you’re so cute, so why shouldn’t I?”, you press a kiss to his cheek, “don’t tell me this still makes you flustered?” “Not anymore, no”, Tighnari affirms but you recall how his cheeks heated up and he stumbled over his words the first few times you did this.

You enjoy your snacks together and get ready to move on but the weather has other plans as the rain pours down on you and your fox-like boyfriend. “I hope the Aranara doesn’t mind us using their house for a while”, you say as you enter the small structure.

Tighnari quickly ends up snuggled against you with his head on your chest and you holding his ears because the thunder hurts in them. “Sorry this hike turned out like this”, he apologizes but you stop him. “It’s not like you can control the weather or something”, you chuckle and nuzzle his ear, “we’re still together right? So what’s the harm of a little rain?”

It all starts when Nilou asks for your help while preparing for a special theatre performance. The actors would all improvise the story based on a prompt that was given before. As Nilou already knew the prompt, she decides to prepare for a play centered around the idea of lovers celebrating their anniversary together. But given that she doesn’t have much experience with love, the two of you decide to go around and ask your acquaintances what their ideal date might look like.

As luck has it, you happen to run into the Wanderer at the Grand Bazaar. So what harm could there be in asking him for his thoughts on the matter as well, right? Although, a part of you decided to do this because of your growing feelings for him.

You quickly explain the situation with the play to him. “If you must know, I don’t care for the idea of a romantic affair. Lovey-dovey stuff and flirting is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl”, he scoffs, “besides, the notion of two people being bound to each other for eternity simply because of their feelings for one another is ridiculous. Even those endeavors end one day and even someone who claims to love you might leave if offered the right price. They tell you that you mean something to them and then one day you never see them again. There’s no use in pursuing love.” You let out a sigh, not sure what you were expecting for an answer instead of this.

“Okay, great, now can we put your attitude aside for a moment?”, you roll your eyes, “just imagine you had someone you were in love with. What activities would be fun for you to do with them?” He sighs but muses that Nahida would probably scold him if she found out he didn’t help you with something as simple as an answer to a question. “Hmph. Fine. If I was to go on a ‘date’, I’d like to cook with them. The act of cooking together to produce the perfect meal feels much more intimate than any shallow flirting”, he answers.

“Oh that’s a nice idea!”, you respond before impulse gets the better of you, “we should cook together sometime-”

“Did you just ask me out on a date?”, he raises an eyebrow but blushes furiously. “Well, that depends on your answer, doesn’t it?”, you wink.

“I- I’m not necessarily against it”, he admits and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “ that is, if you can even cook properly.” He huffs and you let out a laugh. “Oh, whatever happened to ‘this is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl’, huh?”, you dramatically sigh, “if I recall correctly from what Yae Miko told me, in your homeland of Inazuma they refer to this as being a tsundere.” “I’m not-”, his blush darkens, “you should keep your mouth shut before I change my mind.”

Whatever happened to ‘love makes my skin crawl indeed, you think to yourself and smile as you watch the Wanderer carefully handle the ingredients for the meal you’re going to make. He explains every step of the recipe to you and you follow his instructions carefully.

When you accidentally cut your finger while cutting vegetables, Wanderer is at your side with disinfectant and bandaids in an instant. “What the hell are you doing? Are you incapable of cutting a couple of ingredients? You’re supposed to focus on the knive, why were you staring at my face instead?”, he fusses over you, pretending it was because he was annoyed with you. “Well…you’re pretty”, you quietly respond and he shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “You’re too much…” “Aw, you’re worried! If it calms you, you could kiss it better!”, you suggest, winking at him again. “Who do you think you’re talking to-?”, the blush is back on his face and he refuses to look you in the eyes.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll never trust you with anything again”, he mumbles a couple hours later after the two of you had finished your meal and he was sitting on your couch with you, snuggled close to you. “Oh, don’t worry, they’re going to know about it soon enough when some random stranger decides to flirt with me and you get jealous”, you tease. “You talk too much”, he scoffs and his lips meet yours in another gentle kiss. He didn’t tell you how he felt just yet, but his actions speak louder than words.

1K notes · View notes

junicult · 2 years ago

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So... don't know if you have this in the works after your last post, but what would it be like with the bachelors going down on reader for the first time? If you're comfortable with it, that is. 👀

!! the bachelors going down on you for the first time

contains ; soooo much smut. i got so carried away mb y’all LOL. nsfw (minors pls dni.) fem!farmer. oral (f!receiving). praise. established & unestablished relationships. fwb!shane. sexual guiding. inexperienced!sebastian. implied height difference in alex’s.

harvey.

- haha.

- i love this man.

- he is so (i cannot stress this enough) so affectionate.

- absolutely infatuated with you and everything you do.

- as a doctor, he has a lot of people he spends time thinking about: but you are somehow always the main thing on his mind.

- like, tell this man that you did something so minor like stubbed your toe, and he’s carrying you around, forcing you bedridden so he can take care of you.

- well, maybe not to that extent but you get it. you’re the most important thing to him.

- so it’s no surprise that translates to sex as well.

- he only cares about your pleasure, and how you’re feeling.

- before you had sex, he was a nervous mess.

- he wanted it to be perfect :,)

- he didn’t wanna plan it ahead, just kinda hoped it’d all come naturally but surprise he spent the entirety of the day thinking about it.

- it was just supposed to be a fancy dinner date, yet he managed to find you underneath him in his neatly made bed, lips already swollen from his doing.

- “have i told you you’re the most gorgeous woman i’ve ever seen?” it’s corny, cheesy, but oh-so true.

- his fingertips feeling your thighs up your dress, burning into your skin.

- like i said, he’s been thinking about how this night would play out for days. he wants it to be perfect.

- what other way for it to be perfect then him going down on you?

- i’m just saying, harvey on his knees, wide, soft eyes looking up and you while his lips press against your thighs and his cheek rests against your knee.

- his fingers reaching up to slide underneath the waistband of your underwear, doing nothing but tug slightly.

- 😇

- “may i? please?” he nearly whispers.

- and the moment you nod, his lips turn into a soft smile like he’s been waiting forever for that simple gesture.

- he wants you to watch him comfortably, so he props a couple pillows against the headboard so you can look at him.

- loves when you get flustered and tries to hide your face.

- he pays so much attention to your clit. knows how stimulating it is, and especially when he sucks it just right and your hips twitch a little.

- deffffffinitely moans into your pussy 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

- & ruts against the bed lollllll

- uses his fingers too. he’s so slow, and careful, all the while his movements still make your head spin.

- “please don’t stop, ‘m so close,” you whine, eyebrows pinching, and you hardly even realize your fingers that ravel and tug on his soft brown hair.

- he’s shaking his head, as in a silent way to tell you “fuck, i’ll never stop,” as long as he can hear you moan like that longer.

- he’s SOOO EAGER.

- wraps one of his hands around yours while the other lightly presses into your stomach to keep you still.

- doesn’t even care that u nearly suffocate him when your thighs wrap around his head—if anything, he’s in heaven.

- can’t take his eyes off of u. he might just die from the sight of you alone.

- he has to catch his breath when you finally collapse, head lulling to the side.

- he’s literally so hard it hurts.

- pressing into your thigh when he comes up to kiss you make out with you.

- “y’taste so good, don’t you think? so sweet, can’t get enough.” “you’ll let me get some more, right? please? want you, need you so bad.”

sam.

- he’s blunt.

- just straight up.

- he’ll nonchalantly tell you if you have something in your teeth, and then pick it out for you.

- he’s the type to give you genuine input if you tried on a new outfit.

- like, “that looks amazing on you. turn around?” or “hm, it’d look better if it didn’t bunch up like that in the front.”

- zero shame. you know he’s not doing it to be rude, that’s just how he is.

- so, if he’s just lounging around at your house while you work, occasionally popping up to help you with easier tasks, expect him to be his same old self.

- and maybe even take you by surprise.

- you walk in during the evening, ready to change from your clothes and bathe after a long day.

- “hi baby,” he’s already smiling, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek and his hands wrapping around your waist.

- he doesn’t know what it is, maybe it’s the way your eyes were slightly lowered from tiredness, or the subtle earthy scent wafting off your body—but it made him much more excited to have you in his arms.

- “you always look so pretty when you finish work.” he sighs, his kisses pressing down the other side of your neck.

- “i do? please,” you snort, shaking your head to dismiss him like you always do.

- but this time, he wanted you to know for a fact just how gorgeous you are.

- “why do you never believe me when i compliment you?” he pouts, leaning to bury his face in your neck.

- it’s the way his soft gaze has your heart thumping a little quicker, and the slight tilt to his head makes your throat threaten to close.

- his lips wrap around yours before you can protest his comment, leaning into you to slightly dip your back over your bed until he’s dropping you both along the mattress carefully.

- “can i show you just how pretty you are? will you let me?”

- he can spend hours kissing you all over. if you have freckles or moles all around your skin, i can assure you he’s kissed every single one.

- i’d like to think that, despite him not being super experienced, he’s still a very loving guy.

- he doesn’t overthink, he’s very carefree, so if he wants to eat you out, he’s going to. obviously with your consent ofc.

- he may not be the best at it, but he does know a lot about you, and since he spends a lot of time with you, it’s easy to see what you like and what you don’t.

- he thinks ur cunt is so pretty. probably embarrasses you on accident by just staring at it LMFAOO

- he’s so gentle when he starts. pressing his hands into your inner thighs to keep them spread, and his tongue is the first to touch you.

- fingers your clit so he can really delve between your folds.

- “taste s’good,” he’ll moan into your cunt.

- btw he’s moaning just as much as you are, he can’t get enough.

- tell him what to do. he likes when you whisper, “just…keep doing that for a second,” or “wait move your hand ba—fuck, right there.”

- it makes him feel so good when he’s doing it right.

- another man who’ll rut against the bed, and may i be so bold as to say he might even cum just from eating you out?

- yes. yes i may.

- he’s so obedient too. i don’t think he has it in him to ever edge you, because he finds that he just can’t stop.

- will overstimulate you more then anything.

- when you cum, he’ll probably be panting just as much as you are. his breath against ur dripping cunt, making to shudder while you catch your own.

- cups your cheek to kiss you again, completely ignoring the fact that your slick is all over his lips.

- he’s in love.

- “thank you for being my girlfriend.” GNNNNN.

shane.

- tbh, y’all probably had sex before u even started dating.

- more then once, at that.

- some of which you were both tipsy after a friday night, coming back to your farm to fuck him in every room of your house.

- you guys were definitely fuckbuddies at first.

- he went down on you a few times during these stages.

- but, as a guy who was a little drunk, horny, and honestly just wanted to get his dick wet—it wasn’t the best he could do. just enough to warm you up.

- he was completely fine with your situation, until he started to realize he was actually falling for you.

- that he wanted to see you outside of just hooking up. he liked when you’d stop by on his way to work, talk to him for a minute. he’d actually look forward to it.

- so when he ended up on your couch again, arms laced and kiss marks already littering your neck, he knew he was going to make this time different.

- your dress rode up just under your bra, his lips sucking your skin down your stomach while you propped yourself against the armrest of the couch.

- he was quick to loop his fingers underneath your panties, tugging them down your legs.

- “someone’s eager,” you tease, having no clue that you’re absolutely right.

- he’s almost desperate. like he has to show you he’s better then what he’s done in the past.

- his arms latch onto your hips, teeth gently biting down on your inner thigh to hear you let out a brief squeal.

- “stay still f’me, okay?” he asks, his breath hitting against your cunt that makes your stomach flutter.

- it’s the way he delves between your thighs that has you stuttering a gasp, instantly ignoring his one request so he has to use minimal strength to force your hips still and thighs apart.

- his lips sucking onto your puffy clit, causing your stomach to clench and immediately squirm under his hold.

- you’re looking down at him like you’re baffled behind pinched eyebrows and jaw wide—which is exactly what he wanted.

- so much so, he can’t even hide his smirk as his tongue slides between your folds to taste you properly.

- “o-oh, fuck me,” you breathe, head hanging back.

- you’re squirming so much, and he’s not having it.

- “can’t you listen to me?” he almost groans, hardly pulling away for his words to become intelligible so the vibration against your clit has you arching your back.

- he’s so messy, uncaring about the slick that’s staining his cheeks and chin.

- loves when you hide your face, mainly because it makes his confidence boost, but he’ll fs call u out.

- “nuh-uh baby, eyes on me.”

- he’ll gently nip at your clit if you look away.

- and he’s teasing you so much, you can feel tears prickle in the corners of your eyes.

- he’ll edge you just so he can start all over, and then overstimulate you so you’ll never forget it.

- will literally leave you breathless, collapsed on your bed after cumming for what felt like hours.

- and he has the AUDACITY to ask, “what? that’s all you got? c’mon, you can give me one more…right?”

sebastian.

- spreading the inexperienced sebastian agenda one post at a time.

- he’s never gone down on anyone before. so genuinely, he has no idea what he’s doing.

- well, okay that’s a lie. he’s not an idiot.

- he knows how stimulating a woman’s clit is, and he knows where it is more importantly.

- but he’s never exactly had one directly in front of his face.

- he’s only ever seen pussy eating in porn, and that’s not the most reliable source. so he’s kind of just depending on you to help him out.

- don’t be shy, either. he wants to learn. he wants to make you feel good.

- his goal: to make you pass out, tbh.

- but baby steps first.

- you’ve already had sex many times before he even proposed the idea of going down on you.

- he’s fingered you before, but even then that’s still new.

- needless to say, you were taken off guard when he asks, “can i go down on you?” after a lazy evening.

- you’re both doing your own thing, with him on his computer and you cleaning some freshly harvested vegetables in the sink.

- “excuse me?” you laugh.

- until you realize he’s not kidding.

- “i wanna learn.” is all he says, before you’re grabbing his hand and guiding him to your bedroom.

- he’s gotten good at knowing how to kiss you, that enough has you warmed up pretty well. you didn’t even have to tell him to kiss his way down your neck, to your stomach before he’s spreading your thighs in front of him.

- he wants to start by fingering you, because he knows how to do that, plus he kinda wants to approach it confidently.

- like i once said. long, thin fingers. he also plays the keyboard…he’s skilled w his hands.

- rests his cheek on your thigh, watching the way his fingers disappear in and out of your wet cunt, and the occasional gasp you let out.

- “what do you want me to do?” almost breathless when he asks.

- when he feels bold enough, he subtly flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit, keeping his fingers moving inside of you while his eyes glance up.

- just the way your stomach clenched from that one simple action has him eager.

- wraps his lips around your clit and sucks.

- “s-shit, yeah, like that,” you weakly praise behind multiple stutters and pants.

- he can’t get enough of how your cunt squeezes around his fingers the more he does something your body appropriately reacts to.

- which he loves. it’s like you’re subconsciously telling him he’s doing so well.

- he never realized how much he loves when you tug on his hair until now, mainly because you unknowingly press him against your cunt so he has nothing better then to just lick.

- he doesn’t take his fingers out of you, but he does move them a little so he can finally get a taste of the entirety of you.

- whines.

- he’s practically drunk.

- wishes he wasn’t so nervous to do this beforehand, because fuck you feel so good on his tongue.

- “the prettiest pussy, tastes so fucking good,” he mumbles.

- you probably didn’t even hear him bc he made no effort to pull away.

- stuffs his fingers inside of you, curls them right when you’re about to cum.

- and when you do, he feels on top of the world.

- he’s never seen your body shake like that.

- and now he doesn’t wanna stop.

alex.

- omfffffg.

- he’s a sweetheart, through and through.

- so doting and adoring the longer you get to know him and be with him.

- it’s rare you’ll wake up to make breakfast, or make dinner without his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin resting on your head.

- and he’s a little clingy, but that’s just because he loves you so much.

- ur first time having sex w him was early in ur relationship. probably the same day you made it official i’m ngl.

- but he likely didn’t go down on you until a few times after.

- not because he didn’t want to, but lowkey giving or receiving head isn’t his favorite part of sex. as a man w a lot of stamina, he’s fucking you to fuck you. not just eat you out.

- which is why you were a little shocked when you felt his kisses move down your torso, his hands gliding against the sides of your waist as he moves down.

- he also wraps his arms around your thighs to hold you still,

- mainly to show off his muscles.

- oh yeah, he’s not wearing a shirt btw. he never does.

- kinda laughs when you express your nervousness about him going down on you.

- “relax, pretty. just trust me. i’ll stop if you want me to.”

- kisses your thighs, and once he finally takes off ur underwear he’s suchhh a tease.

- like, to the point where you’re dripping, impatiently rocking your hips into him.

- “what happened, baby? not scared anymore? what’s the matter, hmm?” “all needy and i haven’t even done anything, hah.”

- i hate him (affectionately.)

- once he finally touches you where you need him, he’s so fucking slow.

- eyes on you the whole time, his little snarky smirk on his face watching you nibble onto the back of your hand to muffle your moans.

- he waits a minute before he fingers you while licking your clit.

- he feels so fucking good when you give up on staying quiet, letting your back arch and nearly scream out a moan.

- he’s so quick with it, his nice, thick fingers knowing just where to curl inside of you.

- “cum for me, c’mon, know you can do it.” he pulls away to speak.

- he needs to watch you entirely when you cum, so he replaces his lips with his thumb while he rubs your clit and fingers you until you’re sobbing.

- “i know baby, i know. just let it out.”

- he doesn’t stop just yet, but he’ll slow down until you nearly force him away from overstimulation.

- makes u lick his fingers loooolllllll.

- and he’ll make out with you so hard while you’re still trying to catch your breath.

- side note, i feel like he enjoys putting you in lots of different positions. if you weren’t flexible before alex, then u sure as hell are now.

- …probably ate u out once with u sitting on his shoulders against the wall. i’m sayin.

elliot.

- alright now.

- do i even have to say it?

- HE’S A MUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!

- if u don’t think he’s eating u out the very first time u have sex then ur just lying to urself. there’s no way he’d miss this step.

- if you don’t want him to, that’s a different story. he wouldn’t even dream of pressuring you.

- but if you do…u better believe.

- he’s so gentle and sweet, first of all.

- holding your cheek, cupping your jaw while your lips move so graciously against one another’s.

- he’s absolutely kissing his way down, but he’s taking his time, letting you squirm underneath him.

- “you’re just so perfect darling, look so beautiful.”

- kisses ur clit <3

- he’s so slow and gentle, licking you softly and listening to your quiet gasps.

- he swoons when he can hear your breath hitch the moment he starts to pick up his movements.

- he’ll position your thighs on his shoulders and laces your fingers together.

- he’s super responsive. loves when you praise him / tell him you like what he’s doing.

- especially when you feel so good you can’t really speak, so you end up roping your fingers through his hair and tugging it into a loose bun.

- that’s enough to drive him crazy.

- “nngh, c-can’t, s’too much,” you whine, back arches and eyes squeezed shut.

- but your words mean nothing in contrast to the way your hands press against the back of his head, keeping his close.

- he doesn’t even need to use his fingers to make you cum. his tongue is so skilled.

- sucking ur clit like a pacifier 🫡

- he’s also very vocal. he usually coaxes you through sex using his words, but since he can’t while he’s eating u out, he’s just left to moaning uncontrollably.

- and he can’t get over the vibrations making your body shudder every time.

- he gets so excited when you’re close to cumming.

- how you just kind of go silent, jaw locked in aisle nt scream with an occasional whimper pushing through.

- and how you immediately exhale the moment you finish, body nearly collapsing.

- he’s not stopping lol.

- wants you literally shaking, your overstimulation short circuiting your brain so you just fall weak.

- “i’m so proud of you, my love. did so good for me, tastes so good. think you can do it again?”

2K notes · View notes

yawujin · 1 month ago

Note

hiiiiiiiiiii

since it's almost december that got me thinking

my home country sometimes has inches of snow and my mother told me during her college years sometimes they had to shut down school becouse students could not leave their houses........so......

Do you have any headcanons for Russia, Canada, Norway, Denmark and Finland getting snowed in with their partner (assuming they live together with reader or that their visiting) like what would they do to pass the time? hot milk? cuddling under a thick blanket🤭

love your blog and hope you have a happy december!!!!! 💙💙💙

{ request } snowed in with the hetalia men ❄️

type • snowed in trope , cute , lighthearted , platonic relationship , romantic relationship , scenario format , imagine format , they/them pronouns used

author's note* getting this posted before december is over !! sorry that it took so long anon...hope this month treated you well, and if it didn't─i hope this makes it just a little bit better!

russia/ivan braginski ♡

he is quite used to the heavy snow, so this type of weather doesn't bother him in the slightest

he'll invite them to watch the snowfall outside as he rests his elbow on the windowsill, chin in his hand

he's quietly reminiscing about all those times he spent running around in snowy forests and sliding across icy, frozen over lakes as child (not without falling down a couple of times, of course)

it'll take a while for this snow to melt anyway...why not get comfortable next to him and listen to all the bittersweet recollections of his childhood memories?

canada/matthieu williams ♡

being snowed in leaves you with a lot of time on your hands

canada takes this as an opportunity to make some mini pancakes, cover them with warm maple syrup and serve it with hot cocoa

the food is good and helps warm up their bodies...but it leaves the two feeling punchy

canada (shyly) makes an offer to share a blanket while sitting on the sofa together

their shared bodyheat makes it hard to resist sleep; soon, the two of them drift off while the snow starts falling again outside

(taking a nap together can be considered a date!!! >_<)

norway/lukas bondevik ♡

he does what he can to pass the time, doing what he usually does on a day to day basis

reading magazines , books and, random articles he found on the internet

norway feels like a lifetime will pass before the two can step outside again

they offer to do something he doesn't regularly do; play a board game

feeling this unusual sense of listlessness due to spending a full afternoon indoors, norway becomes determined to win a round in this board game

(not so) surprisingl, he finds it fun─and time flies when you're having fun

denmark/matthias køhler ♡

he finds himself pacing around their house, looking for something, anything, to do!

he snacks out of boredom sometimes, but since it's so cold out, he'd prefer to eat something hot

even eating has become boring for him

denmark goes to them for something to do, asking silly questions to help pass the time

feeling bold, matthias asks them for a kiss

...and like the weather outside, once it starts, it's hard to stop

a simple kiss turns into the two making out. (that's one way to kill time 🫣)

finland/timo väinämöinen ♡

being snowed in with finland can be kind of fun

he gets a little a worried in the beginning, expressing his concerns on how long the weather will last and how it will affect the food supply

that is, until he remembers he can hunt and he can handle snowy climates (no matter how harsh they may be)

he's a natural born storyteller, making up things in his head in an instant

sometimes, he'll tell them a story that sounds so fake but then reveal that it really happened

this skill of his takes both of their minds off of the fact that they are snowed in

he kindly gives them his winter coat to wear as he recalls the time he had to become santa claus one year during christmas

71 notes · View notes

randomestdweller · 6 months ago

Note

Hi Denim! I love ur post! Can u write yandere Zhongli alphabet using letter B, L, P, and Y?? Thank u

A/N: Hi Anon! This is lowkey perfect cuz I have a Sugar Daddy Zhongli fic in the works! Zhongli is just so sexy bruh.

Zhongli Yandere Alphabet B, L, P, and Y.

Warnings: Dub con if you reaaaally squint, mentions of kidnapping.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Zhongli is literally the Geo Archon. Which means he won the archon war, which also means he’s killed multiple Gods.

What’s a human or two? Or three… or four…?

Zhongli DOES care about the Liyue and its People after all, he spent thousands of years protecting it. But his love for his darling is on a deeper level than that.

He wants you to be happy always, so if someone is harming you in any way, Zhongli will get rid of them.

Even if they weren’t really even hurting you greatly. Maybe someone just bumped into you but didn’t apologize or stick around to help you up. Zhongli will make mental image of their face and what direction they went in so they may be dealt with after he is done spending time with you.

Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Two scenarios! One of his darling returning his affection and one of the darling not.

If his darling returns his feelings he will treat you like a true queen. Zhongli knows a lot about human relationships and how to broach them, even though he has never had one himself, so affection is not lost on him.

Zhongli will make your dreams come true. A lot of partners promise to give their love the stars but Zhongli can actually make that happen. He only wants to see you at your happiness so whatever brings a smile to your face, he will do.

Now, if darling doesn’t return his feelings.. Zhongli will definitely be confused! What’s there not to love about him? He works, likes tea, he’s Morax (even if you don’t know it). So why are you rejecting him?

It’s fine though. If Zhongli is determined to have you he will, so honestly, it’s best if you go willing. Zhongli is not a mean deity, he wants you to be happy, but he knows your happiness will eventually be with him.

If he isolates you from everyone and everything you love, you’ll soon come to crave his presence, his love, his intimacy.

Even if you don’t want it at first, Zhongli will be gentle. He’ll be patient, that’s what 6000 years does to someone like him. A 1000 years ago he might’ve been rough and broken you, but not now. Zhongli will teach you everything. How to be happy around him and how to please him. Those are things simply taught. Of course you’ll mess up, you’re just a human, you’re not as capable as him or his Yaksha, but he’ll be there to guide you. If soft instruction doesn’t work, he might have to become harsher, just give in to him. It’ll be much easier that way.

Oh yeah, you won’t be human much longer anyway. How can you both remain together forever if you are? Oh don’t cry, this is good! He can finally take your lessons up a notch. Zhongli is patient but, he can only hold back his draconic instincts for so long, and he has been more then indulgent with you.

Patient: How patient are they with their darling?

As I said before, Zhongli is really patient. He doesn’t rush or force you into sex… often. He also doesn’t expect you to be perfect, you are human, and because of that you are naturally flawed.

Zhongli will teach you everything. He expects you to do this, this, and this, like this, at this time type of training.

You'll start to wake up when his does, your body will start to call out to him whether you want it to or not.

Zhongli is patient, or he likes to believe himself to be. But he’s still a dragon. He’s primal, he’s rough, he’s territorial. Its all his nature too, so don’t hold it against him if he takes what he wants from you after all while. So try not to deny him for too long. Just as you have your nature, he has his.

Yearn: how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I feel like I already addressed this so I’ll kinda reiterate.

Zhongli will hold off for WHILE as long as you don’t reject him. Take as long as you like to confess you feelings, time is of no essence to Zhongli. But If you say no his advances, all bets are off the table, he won’t wait to kidnap you from your life.

You’d think he planned it with how fast he snatched you up. And maybe, it was. Maybe he anticipated your response and planned accordingly.

Zhongli wasn’t a fool, he could tell if you didn’t like him romantically but it was nice to pretend while it lasted. Too bad you’ve ruined and had to be taken. You could have continued to live your life, the unwilling wife of Morax.

#yandere zhongli #zhongli x reader #yandere zhongli x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact Zhongli x reader #genshin impact Yandere Zhongli x reader #myfuckingmanzhongli

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oopwoop · 2 years ago

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Their Reaction To You Getting/Saying You Want A Piercing

pairings: e!42! & e!1610 Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar, Gwen Stacy, Peter B. Parker (platonic)

warning(s): swearing, unedited!

im back on my grind 💪 (sorry for not posting recently, had no motivation)

e!1610! Miles Morales

stared in surprise for a bit until he heard you call out his name. He didn’t mean to zone out and stare, or make you insecure, he was just surprised when he saw you got a piercing. you didn’t say anything about getting one or anything. he thinks you look amazing though! (he always will no matter what)

asks if he can touch it unless it’s a tongue piercing, if it’s too sensitive or sore. he understands. shouldn’t mess with it too much otherwise it won’t heal as well.

reminds you everyday to clean it with saline water. twice a day! or however much/long the piercer said.

tells you that you should get a black and red one depending on the type it is.

“woahhh..” Miles gasped quietly as he stared in awe for the next few moments, snapping it out of it when he heard his name. he felt bad when he noticed the nervous look on your face.

“is it bad? do you you not like it?” you asked sadly, upset that he may not like it. sure, you got the piercing because you wanted it but it’d still be nice to know that Miles thought it looked well.

he gave you a shocked look, shaking his head. he grabbed your hand comfortingly and kissing your cheek, careful not to touch your piercing depending on where it is.

“no, no! it looks wonderful. you look wonderful! suits you very well.” he whispered lovingly and kissing your cheek again. it’s good to know he liked it. he really does think you look amazing.

e!42! Miles Morales

did a double take. not out of disgust but more so out of surprise. usually when you get something done or are going out he gives you money, even though he knows you are fully capable he enjoys spoiling you. so it was a surprise when you came over with a brand new piercing that he didn’t know about or pay for.

tells you look good and just goes about what he was doing. doesn’t make a huge deal of it. though, a few minutes later he does ask why you didn’t say anything about it.

also reminds you to clean it, or at least s asks if you did everyday until it’s healed.

will buy you all the jewelry you want for it. will even buy a few he thinks matches his vibe, hoping you wear them. if not he’s not butt hurt or anything, though.

“looks good.” he hums out nonchalantly before returning to what he was doing beforehand. you respond with your thanks. the next few minutes are spent in a comfortable silence, the two of you enjoying each others company until Miles breaks it.

“so, why didn’ you say anythin’? i’d give you the money for it.” he questions, raising a brow as he turns to you. usually you tell him about stuff like this and he gives you money for it.

“mmm, just felt like it, y’know? wanted to treat myself for once. not that i don’t love you spoiling me but it feels nice once and a while to gift myself something.” you explain to him as he nods in understanding.

“yeah i get it.. next time ‘m payin’ though, got it?” he states firmly. you know he’s gonna find a way to pay for your next one for sure.

Pavitr Prabhakar

beyond excited when he noticed it. gasped super loudly when he saw it and rushed over to you. just like the other two, he had no idea of this happening. he also asks you a thousand questions about it.

showered you in compliments on how good you look, how it fits you perfectly, all of it. also showers you in soft kiss around your face, being really careful not to mess with the piercing as he’s worried to hurt you on accident.

he also reminds you to wash it everyday. setting reminders on his phone to text or call you. or if y’all are together he’ll help wash it if he can, being as gentle as possible. he has a bottle of saline spray at his house for whenever you’re over and need to clean it.

sends you pictures of jewelry he sees when he’s out and about, asking if you’d like it. if so he will definitely buy it for you. does not care about the price. if he doesn’t have enough now he’ll save up for it. (jewelry is expensive 😃)

“woah! you look so good! when did you get it? did it hurt?” Pavitr said happily and he rushed over to you, grabbing your cheeks softly to examine the piercing closer.

you chuckle at his antics, grabbing his wrists so you could pull his hands away to be able to speak properly. “slow your roll, Pav. i got it today and it hurt as much as i thought it would.”

“absolutely gorgeous. i knew you’d rock it, even though you never told me. why didn’t you tell me?” he continues to chatter fast, it was hard to keep up with him. he was just excited for you though. he knew you’d only get a piercing if you really wanted it.

“wanted to surprise you.” you smiled at him as he started to peck your face with a bunch of soft kisses. you didn’t think he’d be this excited over a piercing.

Gwen Stacy

was surprised when you said you wanted a piercing but was excited for you. she helps set up the appointment and everything, goes with you for comfort if needed, let’s you squeeze her hand as well.

if you let her, she’d pick out the one you get. she wouldn’t suggest one that hurts really bad though, depending on your pain tolerance.

definitely picks out the jewelry for it if you let her. it’d be a soft pink or blue fs.

so, she has her brow pierced so i feel like maybe she might get more piercings. maybe like her septum or a normal nose piercing, yeah? if it’s around the same time you got your piercing she’d set an alarm for the both of you and if you’re together at the time you’d clean it together or she’d ft you and y’all would do it on call

Incoming FaceTime Call From

gwendy ❤️

Answer Ignore

you decided to answer the call and when you did all you saw was her eyes and up until a few moments later. Her face popped into the screen, a huge smile as she noticed you answered.

“i’m assuming you already know what time it is, yeah?” she shook the can of saline in a jazz-hands gesture, chuckling as you rolled your eyes playfully.

“yeah, yeah.. just let me get to my bathroom.. you always call me when i’m in bed and comfy” you sigh, your tone whiney and exaggerated.

“oh boo-hoo.. you’ll be okay. now get your butt up and go clean your piercing. don’t want an infection, do you?” gwen raised a brow at you. her expression felt similar to a judge-y mothers.

Hobie Brown

when you said you wanted a piercing he was more than willing to do it himself, free of charge. all of his have either been done my someone he’s friends with (for free) or himself. he’s got all the supplies needed and knows how to do most piercings. you wouldn’t be the first person he’s given them to.

if you do let him do it, it’ll be the same as if you were to have gone to a trained professional. just more.. homey? sure it’s a little more risky, but think about it, it’s free of charge (it’s expensive, my septum was $100), plus it’s with someone you know and should by now trust

if you go to a professional he doesn’t really care. it’s your money you’re spending.

totally steals jewelry for you if you wanna change it out once it’s healed. helps you clean it, as well. he knows the perfect way to clean it well so it doesn’t get infected.

“d’ya want me t’ do it? cuz i can, free of charge too, luv.” hobie suggested when you said you wanted a piercing. you weren’t sure if you should take up his offer. he could tell you were hesitant about it so he continued on.

“i’ve done a good few piercings b’fore. some of my own, actually. y’ can trus’ me, promise.” that helped you feel a little better. his looked so good so that must mean he’d be able to do yours even better. especially because doing a piercing on another seems easier than doing one on yourself.

“yeah.. okay sure, i’ll let you do it. but if you fuck it up I won’t be happy..” you glared at him, letting him lead you to the living room of your place to sit and get ready.

“y’won’ hafta worry ‘bout bein’ angry, luv cuz i won’ fuck it up.” he chuckled deeply as he got the needed supplies ready and kissed your forehead.

Peter B. Parker (my first time writing him so sorry if it sucks 🫢)

was probably the most surprised of all. he doesn’t care that you got one, not at all, he’s just surprised you didn’t say anything. your like a kid to him, you tell each other almost everything.

definitely pats you on the shoulder or back and tells you that it looks good and suits you well.

randomly gifts you new jewelry for it. it’s usually stuff he thinks fits you well or one he knows you’ve been looking at. how does he get the money for it? begs MJ until she says yes. though she says yes really quickly because she loves you like a kid as well.

i feel like he can be really forgetful with some things so he’s not as consistent as the others to remind you to clean it. it’ll be more here and there that he reminds you

“when did that happen..?” he says slowly, mouth agape in surprise. “you never told me about that. we tell each every.” peter mutters with a pout, sad you didn’t tell him about this.

“oh this?” you say, pointing to the piercing, “just got it a bit ago. wanted it to be a surprise. does it look good..?”

he just chuckled and walked up to you, patting you on the back firmly. what is with dads and their firm pats? “looks great, kid. suits you very well. you think i’d rock one? i should totally get one, yeah?”

“uhm, yeah, if you want mj to leave you then you should, old man..” you joke with him and return you get a gasp from him.

“i’m not old! and she wouldn’t leave me. i’d look amazing, even better than you!”

#across the spiderverse #miles morales #fanfic #miles morales x reader #gwen stacy #hobie brown #pavitr prabhakar #gwen stacy x reader #hobie brown x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #peter b parker #peter b parker x reader #platonic x reader

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nakateleeli · 23 days ago

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2024 retrospective

A retrospective on 2024… I don't actually feel like this was an eventful year, so I didn't think I was going to have a lot to say. It turns out it sure was eventful, just not in the way I was thinking, and somehow this post became this long.

Here on the channel I've been spending a lot of my solo time on the Kirby series. I originally started the All the Kirbys series because I felt like I was in a constant state of having to find something new and didn't have any strong enthusiasm for anything. I wanted something that I could rely on for a while to keep me out of that funk. As the series has gone on I've found that I've already done most of the major Kirby games, so the ones I'm covering for the series are mostly side-games and spin-offs. Games that haven't gone through the refinement process as much as the main games and I've found myself struggling with them. This led to a few breaks this year where I just needed to play something else for a bit. This did allow me to get to some oddball games that have been living in the back of my head for a while. I also finally got to show off R-Type Final 2. This also means there haven't really been any "big" projects on the channel lately. We are very near the end of All the Kirbys and while I do love Kirby games I'm ready for it to be done. There are so many other games, even large ones, that I would love to get to. I feel like I've spent most of the year playing hard or frustrating games so I'm excited to be free and maybe play something I'm more enthusiastic about.

In the co-op sphere I usually let Ogre choose what games we play, but I've found myself choosing a fair number of games last year. This has given me a chance to play some other weird games I've wanted to show off like Ninja Saviors, Psychopomp, Diablo, and I outed myself as a Hololive fan (this was not the first time). Ogre's choices have been more nostalgic, with him taking a look at some of my childhood favorites like Super Metroid and Link to the Past, and him getting me to play through the early Dragon Quest games. I'm really happy with a lot of the game choice on this end and I feel like it's been a bit of a release for me from my solo stuff.

Of course I also stream several times a week and that as well has been a mixed bag. For starters on Thursday I would typically stream as Vivian.exe. Vivian's development has a bit of history that stems from some self-identity issues I've had for a very long time, and my making the Vivian model and later giving her her own voice and persona have been a way for me to explore that. Late 2023 I ran into technical issues and burnout that made me retire her. Though her streams have never been terribly popular a few viewers were sad to see her go, so I made an attempt to refine her model to something I was happier with and solve my technical issues. My hope was resolving these issues would also make me happier to do her streams, and for a time it did. I brought her back in early 2024 with most issues resolved. We came back with Outer Wilds, an amazing game, and it was my first time seeing the expansion. I got to check out a few other games I'd been wanting to play as Vivian but eventually, between House Flipper and Control, I started to burn out again on playing the Vivian character. I was originally wondering of it was the technical issues that made me burn out and was thinking that resolving them may prevent that, but no. The issue is partially the games I chose to play but largely I think, as far as my self-identity issues go, I'm starting to figure myself out and wasn't really getting anything from playing Vivian any more. So as the holiday season ramped up and I got busier I decided once again to retire her.

I also stream on Fridays, just as myself, and I've had a wonderful time there, by comparison. I've played and discovered a number of games that have gone on to be some of my all-time favorite games, like Voices of the Void and Lunacid. I've also played a number of games that were given to me directly by developers that actually looked at the content I make and thought I might enjoy. These games, like Goldenheart and Mars 2120, may not have been to the same quality as some of the other games I streamed but they were still amazing experiences and I'm really happy to have been given the chance to show them. I've also been happy in this slot because of the model I've been using. I really love the chocobo, it feels the most "me" out of everything I've used thus far, which is probably another reason I've been less satisfied with Vivian. I've even had some fun changing the model for the seasons. We changed to pink for most of the year and very recently I changed to blue for winter. I have a tendency to lean more towards feminine representations and I think the pink was part of that, but I feel like the blue actually much more fits my personality.

The Saturday streams have also been a bit of a mixed bag. Saturday is my work night. I stream mostly as a way to hold myself accountable while I get work done on any number of my personal projects. I have spent more than the past year working on replacing all of the standard Doom 2 monsters with enemies from the Jumping Flash series. This is done to accompany my prior mod which replaced the player with Robbit. This was a long, painstaking process that I knew would not pay off in any real way since it was just a monster replacement pack. That said I did an absolute ton of work that I'm unbelievably proud of. I finished the pack and finally released it late last year. I learned a lot, did a ton of work, and it's all work that I really impressed myself with. The only parts of this project I'm not as happy with are that I knew it wouldn't really be worth the trouble from the start, and that it took me so unbelievably long. Time that could have been spent on other projects. But this is now done, released, and I can start planning for the future.

I've been working on other projects as well, though not streaming them. I released Clean Up Hell, a Doom mod that turns the game into a cleaning simulator; and I'm still updating Beyond the Horizon, an idle game available on itch.io. I managed two updates this year and I'm happy to see people attempting (and sometimes failing) the new boss. I've got another update in the works.

My wife has also drug me out to a few anime conventions last year (for work, not play), which were the first I had ever been to. Though I do have a strong interest in anime and the community I still felt very uncomfortable there. Largely I just felt out of place and scared I'd be recognized. I felt like a grumpy father just there because he was drug there, despite that I was actually interested. I'm mostly just socially anxious and worried about how I appear. Similarly, I take my separation of personal and online lives seriously and was worried someone might identify me by proxy of being with my wife. I did, after a short time, find a kind of mask that not only hides my identity but also makes me feel more like I'm supposed to be there, like I'm one of the people there, excited, all walking around in some kind of love-filled cosplay. Once more comfortable I really loved this experience. I loved seeing everybody in costume, seeing everybody so excited, enthusiastic, and yet also so comfortable, often even expressing a wide range of self-representation. This did a lot to improve my own mood and also learn about myself. This also contributed a lot to figuring out myself, what I want to do with myself, and how I want to appear. This certainly contributed to my not feeling Vivian was necessary any more, as well as my want to redesign my chocobo to be something I think better represents how I want to be represented (and not copyrighted). Mostly a lot of personal growth here that I can take advantage of going forward.

Emotionally things were looking up right up until the end of August when I hurt my back. It was a muscle strain, no nerve damage, but it was the worst I had ever hurt my back in my life, and I am not a stranger to back injuries. I was chair-ridden for a week and it was difficult to move for a month after. To this day I still have to be careful and I will probably never be the same. Especially for someone like me, who is known to throw themselves around and push themselves physically, this is really disempowering. I wasn't able to get any physical work done for the rest of the year and started falling into depression as time went on. It hit me hard. Over time my back has felt better and I've even gotten more and more recognition at work which has helped improve my mood. I'm feeling much better now, both physically and emotionally, but I pretty much wrote off the last three months of last year. It was a bad time.

That said, the year is over and next year is looking much better. We're nearly done with Kirby and I'm excited to start something new. Vivian is retired and for the moment that slot is going to be reserved for tying up loose ends. Jumping Flash Doom is done and I can start working on new projects. I'm currently modifying my chocobo model to better appear how I want to be represented (and not copyrighted). It's been a bit of a slump year I feel, but a year is a long time for nothing to go wrong. My channel has also been all over the place in representation until now. I've got Miss Naka as my avatar and on thumbnails, a chocobo on my stream thumbnails and as my stream avatar, and then Vivian making an appearance in effectively her own series.

Going forward I'm excited to turn over a new leaf. We're going to be starting new projects on almost every front and I'd like to soft rebrand under a consistent brand. This may not be quick, as I am just one person who can't do any of this full-time. Thank you all so much for supporting me and the things I do, especially those of you who have been around for years and years that I just can't scare off. I'm going to be counting on your continued support in the coming year, and I very much hope you enjoy what I have in store.

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many-but-one · 2 months ago

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So, our system spent a looooong fucking time trying to reblog a post by someone that goes by @system-junk-spam but after typing it out it became unrebloggable, and then upon restarting the app we found that either they spontaneously deleted their blog or they somehow blocked us while we were typing something up, despite us having never interacted with them before. That, or tumblr mobile just straight up sucks. Highly probable.

Anyway, we worked really hard on the post and still want to share our thoughts, so we’re gonna put them here. We may get eaten alive for this take, but we’ve learned to not care what others think of us. We are allowed to believe things differently than our followers do and that’s okay. Hate will not be tolerated on this post. If I see it, you are blocked.

This is our theories on how endogenic plurality can possibly exist. We’ve talked about this before but not in great detail. We are literally just gonna copy-paste our response because oh my god it took so long to type out and then transfer to our notes app because the tumblr app was messing up. To TLDR the OP’s post, they were asking for genuine examples of endogenic plurality that wasn’t just someone actually having a CDD and thinking they are endo.

—

So, for starters, I used to be anti-endo. Kind of a dick about it to be honest, but not overly hateful towards endos. I have a post explaining that situation, where I also came forward with explaining that when I was a teen I thought I was an endo because I didn't have trauma—except I did, I just didn't know it yet. I also used to do roleplay—though not as a system, for the record. I just had characters I made that I later realized were heavily based on real alters in my brain and it was that alter's way of expressing themselves before they could be known by the host part at the time. So to say I understand where you are coming from, I understand where you are coming from. I have been that person. I went hard anti-endo at first, but slowly as I've begun healing and deciding "I don't really care what people do in their lives and it's not up to me to police that" I have become what I consider "syscourse neutral" but "fine with endos, I just don't interact with the community much because I'm not endo." Mainly with the feeling of "live and let live" and "they're people deserving of respect too" driving that stance.

I start with all of that preamble because at the end of the day, whether endos "really exist" or not just…doesn't matter. They're not actually taking our resources, they're not seeking out DID specialists because most of them know they don't have DID, and the whole narrative of them "making a mockery of the disorder" is pandering to fake claimers, who are the ones who point and laugh at the disorder whether you are endo or not. Endos are not the enemies of DID systems here, fake claimers are. And whether endos exist or not, fake claimers will still fake claim people with DID no matter what.

If you make this post with the concern that people who say they are endo may actually have a CDD and that can be damaging to their healing long term (it was for me personally) or they may take longer to realize they have a CDD (happened to me), the thing is, they will eventually discover that they have a CDD if that's what they really have. You have all of these examples of people realizing they actually had a CDD because those people eventually realized that's what they had. No matter what, at some point in someone's life, if they have a CDD and the right support, they will eventually realize they have a CDD—even if they initially think they are endogenic.

To go on a personal tangent, it was actually a very good thing that I thought I was endo for so long and got completely alienated from the entire CDD community because if I had discovered I had a CDD at the time, that could have had catastrophic consequences to my safety. When I finally started questioning the system thing again my first year of college, I not only nearly ended my life multiple times (other parts attempting), but I also ended up returning to my abusers and getting hurt again (callback programming, l'm a RAMCOA system). If I had discovered that as a teen? It could have been much worse than it was when I was an adult. I could have been retrafficked if I went back, rather than just reprogrammed and sent on my way, because I was still young enough to be “good product” as a teen, but as an adult they weren’t interested in my “service” anymore, they were more interested in making sure I remained programmed so I wouldn’t report them and they wouldn’t get in trouble. (Joke’s on them, I’m reporting them to the FBI. Suckers.)

My system finally allowed itself to be discovered in my final year of college because I was a mere month away from moving out with my then-fiancée at the time, who we believed could keep us safe should we display harmful behaviors. And we were right, even if she did end up being an abusive POS later. However, I still found out I was a CDD system and did get the help I needed. And even if the situation is not quite as dire for others, if someone who has a CDD believes they are endo, chances are, the system wants that for the time being. And who are we to try to disprove that endos exist just so people will be more accepting of themselves having a CDD? You said it yourself, that people knowing before they are ready can be damaging, so it's really not such a big deal whether or not endos are "real" if that's a way for a system to exist without having to hide while also still kind of "hiding" in a way.

HOWEVER! Now that I have become more open to the concept of endogenic plurality, I have put a lot of thought into "what if it really does exist? How would that happen??" Because gosh, how brains work is exceptionally cool, and if there is a way for endos to be real, that's pretty fucking neat.

So, for the record, I am not endo and I am not fully in their circles nor do I know much about origins whatsoever, so if anyone wants to chime in their thoughts or correct me on something, please do! For this next part, I'm calling endo alters/headmates "parts" just to keep the vocab streamlined and succinct.

Some common themes I notice in endos (for the most part):

They have basically no amnesia between parts

Some can create parts at-will, while others feel like they can't just create parts at will, but their parts just kind of exist

They usually can switch at-will or control switching to some degree or even completely

Some folks usually have some kind of trauma, but that's not saying much because all humans have trauma to some degree or another. Something I've noticed, though, is that this trauma is usually not in early childhood, but in later childhood, teen years, or adult years. (Please know this is not indicative of everyone, just what l've noticed in endos l've spoken to, don't come at me if your situation looks different please!)

All of these aspects come into play for my “theories” on how endogenic plurality can exist. For the record, my “theories” are more like…my own ponderings on the subject rather than something that should be taken as fact. Only endos can decide how they exist, not me.

So initially, my main theory with endos (which l've spoken about once, a while ago) is that it is "IFS on steroids."

IFS functions with the belief that all people have parts, and that to create cohesion in everyday life means finding ways to communicate between these parts and reach healing conclusions between them. Kinda like DID treatment except these parts don't have the "becoming autonomous and elaborating" part of DID. This is often seen in therapy related to addressing your "inner child" or "inner teen" but this can also apply to "the part of me that hates my dad" and "the part of me that wants him to love me." Remember, this is a singlet we are talking about, here! Singlets can also have conflicting and contradictory feelings about their family members. Having a "conversation" between these two parts might look like one of them stating all the reasons why it's better to cut him off because he always causes harm, while the other side may explain all the reasons why they want to keep him around. Weighing these "pros and cons" in this sort of scripted conversation between these two "parts" can help singlets come to an agreement between these two contradictory feelings and find a solution that is best for that singlet "as a whole."

However, what if someone who has parts of self like any singlet does finds a different way to converse with their parts? Or maybe not just converse, but imagine them? Consider that their "responsible self who is good at keeping on track" is the self that they kind of "dial into" at school or work, so that they stay on task—so then later, the part of themselves that prefers to goof off and have fun can have more time to do that. (These may be labeled as a “school/work self” and “home self” by singlets)

Maybe that responsible side of themselves feels like a guy whose name is probably like, Richard. And he's a boring, middle aged, office worker looking dude. And that fun and goofy version of themselves that would rather ignore homework feels like a teen named something funky like Rainbow. Well, the side of themselves that's responsible (Richard) is probably gonna get into a lot of arguments with the fun-loving side of themselves (Rainbow), which can look and feel like an internal debate or struggle of "well I can totally skip this assignment because I have a good grade and my show's season just dropped and I don't wanna fall behind while my friends are caught up" being answered with "um, no, if I don't stay on top of things, I'm gonna fall behind on my schoolwork, which is WAY more important than my show"

See how that can feel a bit like CDD but not actually be a CDD?

These endogenic IFS parts of self might even become slightly more autonomous (or seem slightly more autonomous) than a normal singlet's IFS parts over time, especially if having these internal conversations are a major coping skill during stressful times. These "stressful times" can literally just be "being a teenager" because holy shit being a teenager is stressful!! Does this mean every teen who is an endo in this sort of “IFS way” will grow out of it? No! If this is a positive coping mechanism that doesn't cause harm, they may still have these parts of self well into adulthood or even their whole life. Because guess what? Being an adult is also stressful as hell. It would make sense that these parts would follow them into adulthood.

They may even have traumas they have to address in therapy that these parts of self can help them address. This doesn't mean that trauma is held within a singular part to keep the others safe from the knowledge of said trauma like a CDD system, (even if that trauma is repressed—because even people who are traumatized as adults and non-systems can have repressed trauma) because most likely, all parts of self in this IFS situation are probably either totally aware (if it is not repressed) or totally unaware (if the trauma is repressed) and when it comes time to address said traumas, the parts (while maybe not quite as fully autonomous with completely separate experiences and memories like a CDD system) can still likely be quite elaborate and be very helpful when processing these traumas or negative experiences. Brains are cool! Brains are weird! They do weird stuff to cope with shit! I totally think it's plausible for someone's IFS parts to elaborate to some degree if it helps that person cope with life, even if they don't realize it's IFS or a singlet's version of plurality at all.

Does this mean they would technically be a singlet since they don't have a “genuinely” fragmented consciousness? Maybe?? Who are we to say, you know? If they feel like they are plural even if their consciousness is not fragmented in the same way a CDD system's would be, why not let them say they are plural? They are experiencing some kind of plurality, just completely differently than someone with a CDD-related fragmented consciousness would. Which is kinda neat, if you ask me.

I recently saw a tiktoker who explained they were misdiagnosed with DID, that they'd been re-evaluated by MULTIPLE CDD specialists and been told they do not have DID, but they have some kind of parts influenced by them being schizoaffective. They genuinely have parts of self that feel like they kind of "step in" to handle certain things, with names and appearances to boot, AND this person is very dissociative based on their scores on dissociative scales— which is why they were misdiagnosed by a trauma specialist (not a CDD specialist) in the first place. Their parts are coping skills based on their delusions. Does that make their parts any less real to that person? No, they still exist and they have for a long time, but they are not dissociative parts like in DID. They have some kind of parts that get them through daily life even though they do not have a dissociative disorder. How cool is that!!! They don't cause harm, so they're not something that has to be done away with or anything. This person can just BE schizoaffective with parts. And the therapists are cool with it. Go figure.

I haven’t even gotten to the part where someone with BPD can have schema modes that are kinda like parts. Not to mention that just because people with CPTSD and PTSD may not have fully autonomous ANPs and EPs like people with CDDs do doesn't mean that the person with BPD/CPTSD/PTSD may not try to “purposely” (or accidentally) semi-elaborate those parts by assigning names or identities to help them cope.

For example, if someone has an explosion of anger due to a trigger and that non-autonomous EP is responsible for it, they may associate that non-autonomous EP's anger with someone like, I dunno, Bakugo from MHA. (I know nothing about this anime I just know this is an angry guy don't come for me please lol) So every time this person gets triggered into an anger spiral, they may assign that behavior to a version of themselves that gets really angry like Bakugo, even though it's really just the ANP being influenced by the emotions of the non-autonomous EP. “Bakugo" may never “truly” be autonomous like an EP in a CDD system would be, but that person who has CPTSD or PTSD may feel like they "become Bakugo" every time they get triggered and angry because of that non-autonomous EP's influence. Eventually, the ANP may learn how to communicate with that non-autonomous EP Bakugo and learn coping strategies for “his” anger and process the traumas that caused that emotional response, which can actually help that person heal in the long run. I think non-CDD parts can totally be a helpful coping mechanism for trauma healing. Consider how much easier it is to be kind to someone else rather than yourself. A lot of trauma survivors are incredibly hard on themselves, but may do a 180 for their friends and uplift them when they are struggling with the same thing. If someone with C/PTSD finds it easier to communicate and encourage healing to “Bakugo” rather than themselves and it ends in them healing in the long run, I’d call that a net win.

Like sure, you can say "but they're not actually endo, they just have CPTSD" but like…if they don't have a fragmented consciousness but they feel like they "become Bakugo" every time that angry non-autonomous EP is triggered, wouldn't that kinda mean that they don't have CDD alters but still experience SOME form of plurality? They may have an extremely anxious non-autonomous EP that is like a different blorbo from their shows, or they might name a non-autonomous super depressed EP after Sadness from Inside Out. While they aren't experiencing CDD plurality, one cannot really argue that they aren't experiencing some kind of plurality, right?

And gosh, what about the folks who genuinely don't have serious enough trauma to have PTSD or CPTSD and aren't really needing the IFS parts to cope, but created their parts just because? Why not? Especially if they aren't trying to demedicalize DID a la Astrea's Web or purposely trying to throw vitriol into the community, what is the harm in it? I already mentioned that they really aren't making a mockery of the disorder, fake claimers are. So what’s the big deal, really?

Why can't we as traumagenic systems just let endos exist without concrete proof? From what l've gathered, there have been studies on non-traumagenic plurality (I believe @sysmedsaresexist has shared these studies before but I may be mistaken...sorry for the tag, SAS) so clearly scientists have noticed this is a thing that happens.

Aren't you, as a traumagenic system, fucking sick of fake claimers CONSTANTLY questioning your existence, your reality? Don't you think endos probably feel the same way towards us? Like yeah, we have a lot of scientific proof we exist, but fake claimers will straight up ignore that shit and say the scientists are wrong. Why are we doing literally the same shit? Like come on, put yourself in their shoes! Let them exist whether there's a bazillion studies on them or not! As long as they aren't trying to cause active harm to others or the community (most endos just wanna exist in peace without being constantly fake claimed and harassed, for the record—just like us traumagenic systems!), just let them be! Live and let live. We cannot dictate how they experience their life, whether it's real or not. (I personally think it is, it's just not the same as a CDD—our experiences with plurality are inherently different as a traumatized system of parts.)

I hope my very long ramble was of help to you and others?

Since opening up to the possibility of endos being real and not being so stressed about whether it is or not, l've just been a much happier person overall—not to mention have a much greater appreciation for how cool the brain is and what we as people do to cope with shit. Plurality as a whole is really fucking cool from a scientific perspective. I think being more open-minded and accepting in general will also just make you feel better as a person. We don't need to be asking all these questions, we can just let it be! It's way less stressful, tbh.

#endogenic safe #endogenic plurality #endo safe #manybutone #syscourse #personal post

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thou-babbling-brook · 7 months ago

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Maria Thorpe Character Analysis

Well, I simply can’t disappoint the people – aka, the five of you that will read this, lmfao. I’m so serious about this that I’m actually drafting this on a Google doc before I post this rather than just typing random thoughts on my phone. This is going to be a HUGE ramble that probably won’t make a ton of sense, but I hope it’s entertaining regardless.

Maria Thorpe – a character that Ubisoft probably spent MAYBE thirty minutes thinking about, but that I have not stopped thinking about for like, five years. What a gal. So glad I was not in this fandom in 2012 to witness how HEINOUS people were about her for simply being a woman “in the way” of a M|M relationship. I hope by the end of this ramble, you, too, will see her for the baddie she truly is.

In this essay, I will delve into Maria’s character to explore why she is so fascinating to me, the implications of her story, and why Ubisoft can actually catch these hands for dumbing her down in AC Revelations. (I'm putting a cut here because it's so fucking long I'm sorry gang)

First off, to understand Maria Thorpe as a character, you have to understand her background. I’m not going to copy and paste her Wiki or anything, but I am going to outline her life (stated and implied) before we meet her.

For those that don’t know, Maria was born an English noblewoman in 1161 – four years before Altaïr was born (okay cougar). Because she was a tomboy and defied many of the social norms for women in the 12th century, she was ostracized by both her parents and her peers. She mentions in The Secret Crusade that her parents tried to force her to conform, which culminated in her first marriage at the age of 18 to Lord Peter Hallaton. She mentions that he was a decent husband, but he didn’t exactly appreciate her more boisterous nature. After all, in 12th century England (especially among nobility), women were to be seen, not heard. She also failed his expectations as a chatelaine and a wife, as she bore him no children. The Bishop of Leicester granted them an annulment to avoid embarrassment to both Peter and Maria’s family. When she returned, she was “persona non grata” to her family and the whole of Leicestershire, especially when her father had already spent her dowry. With no other options, Maria ran away to join the Third Crusade, where she eventually met Robert de Salbé.

You may notice that we don’t actually know a lot about Maria and her life before AC1, which is probably intentional. To me, though, that’s what makes her backstory fascinating – the implications of her environment and what we can reasonably deduce she went through based on historical context. I think anyone who’s taken a seventh-grade social studies class could tell you women had, like, zero rights in 12th-century England – even more so, noblewomen. Maria was raised to be a glorified broodmare – say nothing, have children (two boys and a girl, as she jokes), and run her husband’s household. Clearly, she was the exact opposite of all of these things. Something interesting about Maria’s first marriage is the fact that while it was an annulment, she specifically mentions in The Secret Crusade it was an annulment to save her family further embarrassment – which implies that the marriage was consummated, but all parties wanted it done with. I don’t think I need to elaborate on how common and horrific an experience like that could be, but I think it fuels Maria’s relationship later on with motherhood, especially since she mentions that she was completely uninterested in childrearing and birth (this is a key point I’ll touch on later).

So what? Why does her background matter? It matters because of how historical and cultural context tie in to help form who she is by the time she leaves for the Third Crusade – a desperate, twenty-two-year-old woman, divorced, ostracized from the only family and society she has ever known, having no other choice than to ditch England and head for the Holy Land unless she wants to become a nun. For many men and women alike in the 12th century, this was their only opportunity to become something more than what they were born as, whether it be a serf, a blacksmith, or a noblewoman. Many who left for the Third Crusade left to “take back the Holy Land,” but also to escape or improve their current standings. To me, Maria falls in the second category, and it is this desperation to escape her life that forms her most notable (and later, tragic) characteristic: her undying loyalty.

As a side note, it is also interesting to me that Maria chose to be a soldier rather than a nurse. This is more so my characterization of her, but I think that’s because a) she’s too damn proud and loud to be a nurse, and b) because if she was a nurse, she would more than likely live and be treated the same way she was at home. Truly, if she wants to escape the patriarchy, the only way a woman like Maria could at the time was to join it by blending in. Girly get some therapy.

We’re now at AC1 in the timeline. Hooray! We don’t know when exactly Maria joined the Templars or when she first met Robert, but we can probably assume it was not long after she joined the crusade. As we know from AC1, AC Bloodlines, and The Secret Crusade, Maria disguised herself as a man (more than likely a young boy since she’s got a voice that would fit right into Alvin and the Chipmunks) and was able to keep up the rouse long enough to rise in the ranks and show promise to people like Robert. For Maria, when Robert finds out she is a woman and yet elevates her further, it is the first time in her life that someone has appreciated her for her masculine qualities. It is why she develops an intense loyalty for Robert to the point of being willing to be his decoy, despite the fact she fully anticipated dying. For Maria, it would be her ideal end – fighting to the death for a cause she truly believed in. Not even really a cause, as we figure out later, but more so for a man she truly believed in – Robert. It would not be through the pain and subjugation of childbirth like most women of her standing, but a brutal fight like any other man.

And yet – she doesn’t. When Altaïr meets her, he’s undergone a whole development arc, whereas Maria (at this point 30, which is SO funny to imagine her fistfighting this 26-year-old frat boy) is at the start of hers. And it starts with Altaïr sparing her – the worst possible fate that could become her at this point in her life. Think about it: the only person who has given her an OUNCE of respect has asked her to essentially die for him by acting as his decoy. As Maria mentions in AC Bloodlines, by this point, she is also a step away from becoming a knight – and at this point, she’s also known as a woman among the Templars. And yet, she believes they have become her family, and she is willing to die for their cause and for Robert. When Altaïr spares her and kills Robert, he’s sentencing her to the life she ran away from and feared – being nothing more than a woman who is looked down upon with condescending snarls and disgust for who she is.

This is why when we meet Maria in AC Bloodlines, she is rightfully PISSED. We literally see her realize that any ounce of respect and power she had is completely gone because Altaïr spared her. She is so pissed, in fact, that she tries to kill Altaïr again. This is even funnier when you remember how much of a BITCH it was to fight her in AC1, but I digress. Altaïr has destroyed everything she has built in her life for the last eight years. He has taken her home, her mentors, her family, and her honor. And bro doesn’t have a clue in the fucking world.

It’s at this point that I’ll also analyze more about Maria’s relationship with the Templars. At first glance, yes, she was a Templar and believed in their cause. Really, though, it goes far deeper than that. It’s not necessarily that Maria believes in their cause – otherwise, it would’ve taken a lot more for Altaïr to sway her to the Assassins – but that she believes in the people. Again, from Maria’s perspective, the Templars (especially Robert) were the ONLY people in her entire life to treat her with dignity, and she is willing to die for them. She is willing to throw her honor to the ground and beg for forgiveness in front of Bouchard because, without the Templars, she is nothing. She is back to square one as a silly little girl trying to run from a life that would only subjugate her. It’s that recurring characteristic of undying loyalty to those who have given her the life she has always wanted.

And for Maria, it is immediately spat back in her face.

When Bouchard takes over in AC Bloodlines, he is a strict Templar Grandmaster. No consorting with women, periodt. And he flaunts this over Maria, taunting her. He is tearing the last ounce of respect she’d ever received and throwing it away. Every sacrifice she made for the Templars for the last eight years meant nothing, and it is crushing to her. She continues to be pissed off at Altaïr, who mentions that she’s more pissed at the Templars than at him. Once again, she is nothing more than a woman – an imprisoned one at that.

This is where one of my favorite Maria scenes (not that there’s many) comes into play. When she and Altaïr are sitting on the ship to Cyprus or wherever it doesn’t matter, Altaïr does something that no person has done for her before: he treats her with unconditional respect. As funny as his autistic ramble about Empedocles and philosophy is, there are so many assumptions that go into Altaïr’s conversation that I think help sway Maria to his side. When he talks to Maria, he speaks to her as an equal. He talks to her about philosophy because of course she would know about philosophy in his mind – to him, she is a soldier and a person first, and a woman second (shut the fuck about The Secret Crusade and him thinking about her as a lioness shut up shut up I low key hate it even though it’s funny). He is the first person in her life to speak to her as an equal and with respect with no strings attached. In fact, when Maria taunts him for leaving her cuffed even as he talks about free will, he lets her go. She may not like him at this point, but after this scene, you can certainly see that she respects him in how she speaks to him. BONUS: she’s not trying to outright kill him anymore! Hooray!

You can see the impact Altaïr and his conversation had on Maria when she confronts Shahar in her courtesan fit. There’s so many layers to Maria willingly dressing in such an exposing, vulnerable, and feminine way (keep in mind this bitch is Catholic, I know her guilt was going crazy), but what I’m going to focus on is her conversation with Shahar. When he speaks to her, he is gross and all but catcalling her, calling her a “little fox” and using a sultry tone. Maria is having NONE of it, and one can only assume this is a tone she has dealt with a thousand times over. This is also where we see the gears turning in Maria’s head. I’ve seen people criticize Maria for how quickly she flip-flopped, but I think that’s overlooking the reason that she WAS a Templar – they were the only people who provided her a home when she had none. If you’re desperate for anyone to treat you with an iota of respect, you’d do whatever they ask. After she talks to Altaïr though, and especially after realizing Robert was simply manipulating her, she is questioning the Templars’ ideologies and realizing this is not what she wants. It low key is like Alicent in House of the Dragons right now – she’s shocked that fighting against women fucked herself over. Maria is similar in that sense – she thought that by being what the Templars wanted and fighting for what they believed, it wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass. But it did. She’s a woman before she’s a Templar, and the ideology of the Templars would see her subjugated just as she was before. It isn’t until after Altaïr’s spiel about free will and the challenges it brings that she realizes she has other options.

And that’s ultimately what brings Maria to the side of the Assassins – realizing her errors in thinking and wanting a way to redeem herself. The Assassins are her second chance, which is ironic given how many stories after hers would follow this same format of second chances. But it isn’t just the ideology change, either. It’s Altaïr. No, she does not have undying loyalty by the end of AC Bloodlines, but he’s certainly earned her trust and respect. He’s treated her like any other person without ever holding power or loyalty over her head. He does not manipulate her or exploit her – he respects her, and he earnestly tells her of the creed’s ideologies not to lure her in, but because he genuinely believes in the idea of dispelling the illusions of the world and wants to share it with her, whether she becomes an Assassin or not. That is what turns Maria into an Assassin at the end of the day: his respect for her and his understanding of the creed. And despite their issues, Maria chooses to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Now we’re at a really funny part of Maria’s story: we know basically NOTHING about what happens in between AC Bloodlines and AC Reflections. We know that sometime after traveling to Masyaf, Maria and Altaïr became a couple. We know they married in 1195 and gave birth to Darim the same year. Two years later, they would traumatize Desmond Miles by fucking on top of a castle, which is so fucking funny and only supports my characterization of Maria as a gremlin, because who the fuck else would make their husband climb up a giant ass tower for sex? We know she officially became an Assassin and would beg Altaïr to stop looking into the Apple. We know she would join Altaïr and Darim to Mongolia to kill Genghis Khan. And that is all we know for an approximately 30-YEAR PERIOD.

While there’s a lot I could talk about in that gap, like Maria’s relationship with other Assassins, I’m going to focus on her relationship with motherhood. As we established earlier, Maria had ZERO interest in being a mother or giving birth. This is a personal headcanon but I do not care because it’s MY analysis and I can do as I please, but I feel like she would’ve dreaded childbirth, especially given how English nobility acted about it (e.g., how people treated it like a scandal or disease) and how it was the leading cause of death for women until the 20th century. Yet, despite this, she had not one, but TWO children. She was like one away from the goal, and even then Sef had two daughters so really she fulfilled it. But why? What changed that she would be willing to do the very thing she left England to avoid?

I think it goes back to the reason she was disinterested in it in the first place. Like Maria says in The Secret Crusade, she didn’t want to just be a mother or a wife. Her ideal husband would treat her like any other man, taking her hunting or whatever else bullshit medieval stuff they’d do instead of scrolling through TikTok. She never said she didn’t want to be a mother. I think her hesitance stems from the fact that she didn’t want to SOLELY be defined as a mother or a wife. With Altaïr, however, that fear is pretty much gone. Since the moment she met him, Altaïr has always treated her with respect and admired the things she was once shamed for. Her strength is valuable as an Assassin. Her bluntness keeps him in check. Her ideas are admired rather than ridiculed. To Altaïr, Maria is not just a woman or even just an Assassin. She’s a person with her own experiences and ideas and fears and strengths and dreams. He loves her for every aspect of herself that was once frowned upon.

I remember a while ago seeing a Tumblr post from ye olden days (like 2012) talking about how because menstrual cycles were extremely irregular back in the day due to medieval diets and exercise, Maria would have to purposefully chill out to regulate her cycle to become pregnant. What that implies is that she trusted Altaïr so much that she was willing to settle down and have children because she knew it would not influence how he treated or loved her. Personally, I think this is true of Darim, but that Sef was an accident because it’s funnier that way, but regardless, the point still stands. Maria getting pregnant and becoming a mother is the opposite of what she thought she would ever want, but because she loved and trusted Altaïr so much, she was willing to have a family with him because she knew it would not come to define her. I think that is unbelievably sweet.

We also don’t really see Maria interact with her children very often, which I think is a fucking shame. When she does interact with Darim (we never see her with Sef, though we do see her reaction to his death), Maria is always supportive and encouraging. Again, this is more my headcanon territory but I really don’t care because I can do what I fucking please, but Maria low key feels like a boy mom to me, but not in the weird Freud way, lmfao. Like we established earlier, Maria’s key trait is her loyalty. I think this loyalty would be extended to her children. We know she’s loyal to Altaïr (it ends up killing her), but I feel like it would go insane with her children. When she learns of Sef’s death in The Secret Crusade, this woman breaks down in tears instantly. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE MOTHERLY RAGE WITH ABBAS, UBISOFT. WHERE WAS IT. Anyways.

Masyaf is a pretty cutthroat environment to raise a child, especially when you consider that Abbas is apparently lurking in the background scheming during Altaïr’s reign. Something I wish we learned more about (and something I just find fascinating in general) is the political environment of Masyaf. Altaïr implemented a lot of changes to the Brotherhood that faced backlash, one of the key ones being allowing women in the order again (ahem, Maria). I know Maria said she was uninterested in the politics of running a house, but I do think she’d kind of have to play her hand in politics in Masyaf, kind of how Altaïr realizes he’s not exempt from politics since he’s literally shaping them. If Maria wants her kids to be safe, especially as sons of the Master of the Assassins, she’s gotta play her cards well. This is why I think it does make sense for Maria to calm down after having children to be more similar to the Maria we see in AC Reflections and AC Revelations. She can’t just fight everyone like she did when she was relying solely on herself. Now, she has people relying on her, and I think it makes sense for her character to chill out more (though without losing her spunk) to ensure her family is safe.

For those that have ever watched Magnificent Century, basically think about how Hurrem went from fighting everyone to playing her cards wisely so her kids wouldn’t die or do stupid shit. That’s how I feel like Maria would be.

Something else that’s interesting about Maria to me is her relationship with Altaïr. Duh, you’re probably saying, but hear me out. We know that while she and Altaïr were inseparable during their marriage, there was one thing that strained it: the Apple. It makes sense why Maria would be so pissed off at it. She’s seen Altaïr control men’s minds with it. She’s seen how it takes him away for days at a time with its secrets, to the point she is begging him to throw it away. Back to the point about loyalty to her family, whereas Altaïr seeks knowledge, Maria just wants her family protected and safe because she loves them – including her dumbass husband. It’s ironic that the very thing she fought about with Altaïr is the thing that killed her.

So we’re finally at AC Revelations, and I am truly shocked that you’re still here. Kudos to you. At that final confrontation scene with Abbas, that loyalty for those she loves comes to a head. When Altaïr whips out the Apple, Maria begs and pleads him to stop, because she knows if he uses the Apple to control someone, he will only be proving Abbas’s point, which will only fuck them over. In The Secret Crusade, we also have Malik’s head on top of this scene to make it worse. Maria’s position is again one of desperation. Her son is dead, one of her best friends is now just a head, and her husband is about to go sicko mode. She is screwed and she knows it. What she doesn’t know is that she’s about to be stabbed by Swami (I’m going with the revelations version shut up) in a last ditch effort to stop Altaïr from using the Apple. Altaïr doesn’t listen to Maria, and it kills her. He kills her.

… SO I HAVE THOUGHTS.

I think Maria dying from the Apple makes sense, I do. That’s not my problem. My problem is how AC Revelations basically dumbed her down to this motherly, homely figure which is the like, ANTITHESIS of what Maria is. Where was the feminine rage??? You’re telling me this woman would not be about to SLAUGHTER someone after learning that Sef died?? You’re telling me she would just pull an AltaïR thiS iSn’T yOu???????? Are you so fucking for real right now??? It pisses me off because it nukes her character. While yes, it makes sense for her to be a much calmer woman and 67 compared to 30, this is still Maria. Don’t act like she and Altaïr don’t have fucking anger issues and be so fucking for real.

Here’s my ideal scenario for what should’ve gone down. I think once they pulled Malik’s head out, there should’ve been all-out chaos rather than this bullshit “We killed everyone loyal to Altaïr before he arrived.” Maria should’ve been right there with them with a sword out. Altaïr, in a desperate attempt to calm everyone down, would take out the Apple and try to control everyone. If you’ve seen the long ass discussion about how Revelations fucked up Altaïr’s character arc, this also helps remedy that because Altaïr is pulling out because of his arrogance in believing he can control the Apple. News flash: he can’t. Maria, while fighting for Altaïr, would somehow be killed either by the Apple or like similar to how Swami accidentally killed her. Something along those lines where it is Altaïr’s fault. That’s how she should’ve gone out, not some weird pick me bullshit.

Anyways. RIP Maria Thorpe you would’ve loved Crusader Kings 3.

I definitely missed some points about her character but this is already 7 pages long on Google docs so I am NOT writing anymore. God bless.

TLDR she's a baddie and I need her so so so bad

#assassin’s creed #maria thorpe #altaïr ibn la'ahad #malik al sayf #ac1 #character analysis #babblingbrook babbles #I should have been doing literally anything else than this #ITS SO LONG IM SO SORRY #like five of u are gonna read this but #the five of you that do will be thrilled #i put my whole kathrussy into this #this took me days guys DAYS #I gotta wrap this up bc I have stuff to do but please enjoy and im so sorry in advance lmfao

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naturecalls111 · 2 months ago

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i love your drawings so much<333 your art is so perfect like the anatomy looks so beautiful!!!! how did you learn to draw that anatomically correct? like do you use a lot of references or do you just know how to draw bodies atp? bc im struggling with anatomy lmaoo

Wahhhhh!!! 🥹 Thank you so much!!! I'm holding this praise very close to my heart right now!!!! I've spent a lot of time over the years doing studies and having images of muscle group diagrams open while drawing, so I'm super happy to hear it paid off!

So I don't really use references anymore when I start drawing and composing the pose, but I absolutely still reference diagrams of muscle groups when I find myself hesitating with the way certain parts of the body may appear. Something like this, for example:

Something that gives me an exaggerated idea of what that part of the body looks like so I can soften it to my liking. My main goal when using reference isn't to do a 1:1 replica, but rather understand What I'm Drawing while I'm drawing it. At this point of my art journey, I'd prefer having more practise in manipulating these muscles than just practising drawing what I can see.

(Worth mentioning I absolutely still practise observational drawing, and it undoubtedly aids this aspect of my drawing, too. I used to use fanart specifically to practise it, but this year I've taken to separating my fanart from my study art because I find that it allows me to be less miserable when it doesn't come out good LOL now I just do oil painting which helps me focus more on general shapes and values)

Using these types of categorised diagrams has also helped me simplify that initial structure of the body when I'm sketching. Having general markers of what muscle goes where definitely helps me set the position of the body in the long run.

I very, very highly encourage the use of references always, but especially when still learning to get more confident with anatomy!!!! Me not using references for poses is very much at the cost of having anatomy that could be even More accurate LOL I merely know where to place the lines to make things look Passably believable. Buuuttt that's also just the process of improving. Imagination is a muscle that has to be trained too. What's been helping me find a happy middle nowadays is drawing with references that cover small parts instead of using the reference for the whole illustration. FOR EXAMPLE!!!

I had drawn this much of the catlaila I recently posted without a reference before I was like.. Huh. I can't really figure out what I want to with the arms, but I also don't know what is Physically Possible to do with the arms here, so I'll experiment with my 3D poser (WHICH BTW I LOVE AND USED TO USE RELIGIOUSLY FOR EVEEERYTHING SO!! GO DOWNLOAD LOL it's called MagicPoser) and I had adjusted the models up to this point before being like, ok yeah this is enough for me to go off of as something that is physically feasible. So the posing of the rest of the models is whatever because I just needed to know what Laila's arms would look like. This was the final linework:

Like, it's still not a 1:1 with the reference, but it's just enough that it seems feasible !! My personal opinion is that sometimes reference doesn't capture the Shapes that I want it to, even if it's more realistic, so it's ok to break rules and just go with your flow lol... It's shocking how many times I've thought references of real human bodies look unrealistic and ridiculous HAHA Hence focusing more on learning the muscle groups/shapes so that I can adjust to my liking without sacrificing the integrity of the anatomy...

Also, not necessarily on anatomy, but I use plenty of references when I need to see things like how tight shirts stretch over breasts, or how cloth sits at a certain angle, or, honestly, hands. I almost always draw hands by looking at my own. I cannot stress enough: I use plenty of references. I am not a magician and I don't have perfect memory, even after four/five years of studied drawing x)))

Anyway. I've yapped so much. I try to be detailed in my explanation of anatomy because god knows how much I struggled with it!!! I STILL do. If you ever catch the link to it, I often stream these drawings and you'll see how many times I duplicate these layers so I can erase whole sections and try again, or how often I'll attempt the position of a leg over and over before I feel its right. The final product is so quick to digest but the process is frustratingly finicky, I promise, LMAO.

I hope this wasn't too convoluted and long, and I wish you the super best on your anatomy journey! If you ever need help and catch me at the right time, I'm totally open to giving any work a second opinion ! :3c

#nc111qna #nc111 tutorials and studies

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neytirisheaven · 1 year ago

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how could i ever compete with that?

warnings: no use of y/n, angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of child abuse, strong language

regulus black x fem!slughorn!reader word count: 2k part two of “she’s all i wanna be so bad” (part one)

summary: as you wanted, regulus finally confronts you, but it doesn’t go the way either of you planned

notes: YES I’M ALIVE!!! this is literally so late AND I KNOW YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING and it didn’t go the way i originally planned for it to go but i think i like it a bit better than part one.. reader may be a bit dramatic but i really enjoyed writing this near the end so i hope you all enjoy!! (ps i’m so sorry in advance (and this is slightly proofread so if there are any mistakes i apologize!)) and for me, at least, this will be posted on thanskgiving day, so for all the people who celebrate thanksgiving, think of it as a thanksgiving gift :)

FOR THE PAST few weeks after the incident with Regulus and his new girlfriend, you haven’t spoken to him once. You tried, but he paid you no mind as he was too focused on his brand new girlfriend. He ignored you every day, and all it did was put a sour taste in your mouth. But you couldn’t get rid of the feelings you still had.

Eventually, though, you gave up. You switched seats with Adaléne in Potions, you bribed a boy on the opposite side of the Charms classroom to swap seats with you, and you stopped eating with him during your meals. He barely even noticed.

You spent all your time in the library with your nose stuffed in some type of book, either studying for your upcoming assessments or filling up your free time with the small bit of entertainment you had left after you reluctantly walked out of Regulus’ life. A bit immature and melodramatic, some would say, but it truly pained you to see him with her every second of every day.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t have a small sliver of hope to gain attention from your best friend—or ex-best friend—but you would never admit that. To anyone.

So, instead, you remained quiet in the presence of silence and the thousand of books that surrounded you, as well as a few other students in your year.

After a while, you stepped outside the library to find a drink and quench your thirst, but your belongings were left sitting on the table. It only took you five minutes. You only stepped in the Great Hall for a minute and grabbed a Goblet. You didn’t notice that Regulus and Adaléne were gone, nor would you have cared even if you did notice.

You weren’t even gone for that long.

But it was long enough for you to find the two missing people sitting at the table your belongings were at, and it was definitely long enough for them to be kissing shamelessly.

A scowl crossed your lips before you eventually mucked up the courage to walk over to your table and grab your things, preferably unnoticed by the obnoxious couple.

Regulus recognized your heavy footsteps even with his eyes closed and his lips on another girl’s, just as quickly as he recognized your things that lay on the table opposite of their seats.

Your head was a flurry of anger, annoyance, and agony all rolled up into one. You were hurting just as bad as you were when you first found them all those weeks ago in the Slytherin dungeons, and you had no idea how to make it go away.

Your heart was beating as fast as the pain was shooting through you, your emotional pain translating into physical pain somewhere in your brain—possibly the same place you came up with the brilliant idea to fall for your best friend, who would never, ever, fall in love with you.

You held your breath in and squinted your eyes shut for a few seconds. Looping your arm through your bag and stuffing your borrowed books into its cotton material, you picked up your papers from your earlier classes and walked away. Your head was held high, and your body radiated confidence, but all you were feeling on the inside was dread and pain. Just being around Regulus and being unable to speak to him (mostly due to your own pride and embarrassment) was enough torture to last you years worth of suffering.

The curly-haired boy pulled away from Adaléne’s touch and sighed into her lips. She took it as a content sigh, but he knew what it really meant. While he pretended like he didn’t notice you hastily grabbing your things, everything about you was flooding his senses.

Your perfume overpowered his girlfriend’s by a large margin, even though he was pressed up against her instead of you. Or maybe he was just imagining it because he wished he was with you instead.

The doors to the library shut with a soft echo, signaling that you’d completely left the vicinity.

Adaléne leaned closer to Regulus’ face to resume their kiss, but he dipped his head away and squinted his eyes shut. Letting out a small exhale, he pushed himself off his seat and straightened the collar of his robe, gently pushing his girlfriend back down when she was beginning to stand up.

“No, no, stay,” he spoke gently despite the strong fire burning behind his eyes. “You need to study. I just have a headache.”

Adaléne furrowed her eyebrows and began to stand up again. “I will take care of you—“

“Ada, I’ll be fine. Focus on your studies.” Regulus pursed a smile and pressed a kiss onto his girlfriend’s forehead before leaving the library.

Immediately, he heaved the doors open and followed the faint sound of your footsteps, leading him to the dungeons and eventually, the Slytherin common room. You made it to your dorm room before the boy could catch you, so he used the lost time to his advantage and hurried to his own dorm room.

He could finally make it up to you.

And so, with that thought etched into his mind, he grabbed the bookmark that he had so carefully looked over for the past few weeks and held it gently in his hand.

Pushing his door open, Regulus flattened his robes against his body and briskly walked to your dorm room, rapping his knuckles against the hard surface of your door. After a few seconds and a bit of muffled shuffling behind the thick material of the dorm room walls, you finally opened the door with glossy eyes.

Those same glossy eyes shot open at the mere sight of the dark-haired boy, your hands immediately coming up to your face to wipe away any stray tears that may have fallen without your notice. “Regulus,” you spoke breathlessly, a shaky exhale leaving your mouth. “What are you doing here?”

Before everything that happened, you would have never even thought to ask Regulus what he was doing at your dorm room door. In fact, he wouldn’t even have to knock. He could’ve just walked in wordlessly, and no one would’ve said a thing; not even your roommates (if they were there).

But things change. They did change.

“I—“ he sighed. “I just wanted to drop your bookmark off. I know it’s your favorite one, so you must’ve been looking for it for some time, yeah?”

You tried your hardest to hide the joy that creeped onto your face once you locked eyes with your beloved bookmark, not wanting to show any drastic emotions in front of the boy you used to call your best friend. “Thank you,” you muttered, taking the green ribbon from the boy’s hands. “Was that all you came here for?”

You could see different waves of emotion wash up on Regulus’ face, holding back the comments that were building up inside of you.

Eventually, he spoke with great reluctance, “No. I actually wanted to talk to you about some things, if that’s alright with you.”

Pursing your lips and contemplating how detrimental this would be to your relationship, you ultimately nodded your head and swung the door open a bit more, allowing him into the dormitory with a hesitant expression.

You both sat on the edge of your bed, your posture perfect and proper, sitting as if you were a robot. You were clearly on edge, and your body language said everything. It made Regulus all the more uneasy, seeing your uncomfortable stiffness fill the room with even more tension than before. All he wished was for you to flop on the bed with a relaxed smile, to go back to when you trusted each other with your lives.

“So,” you began, “what did you want to talk about?”

The boy remained silent for a few seconds, trying to find the right words. It felt like everything was slipping just off the tip of his tongue. “I don’t really know how to say this,” he trailed off. “I, uhm, don’t think Adaléne’s the right girl for me.” He wrung his hands together, a nervous habit he’d been attached to since you were both small children.

A strained laugh slipped past your lips. “I don’t understand what this has to do with me, Regulus. I’m sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“There is a girl that’s right for me, and I know it,” he began, locking eyes with you.

You frowned. You knew where this was going, and you didn’t want it to happen. “This has nothing to do with me. I don’t know why you’re telling me this.”

“You do know why I’m telling you this.”

“No, I really don’t!”

“Yes, you do!” He was beginning to become impatient, and you could tell by his voice.

“I don’t!” You bit back in a frustrated tone.

And then, he finally snapped. “I love you! I don’t love Adaléne, I never did! I don’t want her, I want you! I need you!”

His outburst caused a domino reaction, immediately unlocking a new level of rage you didn’t know you had inside you. “You ‘need me’?” You laughed humorlessly. “Is this a joke?”

Regulus’ face immediately fell, “No, it’s not a joke! I would never joke about this—“

“You don’t get to throw away the years we had for a new girl and then expect me to take you in when you come crawling back and tell me that you ‘don’t want her’. I’m not a fucking second choice, Regulus!” You spat, anger bubbling inside you. “You didn’t even try to talk to me or come find me! You just ran off with her because she was your newest toy to play with! You didn’t even notice how I kept trying to keep contact with you! I waited and waited for you to come back and apologize, to tell me that you were sorry for ignoring me! But you didn’t.”

The boy stuttered, shocked by your sudden burst of anger, “I—look—I’m—I’m sorry, I really am.”

“‘Sorry’? ‘Sorry’ doesn’t mean anything! You can say sorry for the shit you did, but it’s not going to fix a thing! You replaced me with the snap of your finger, Regulus! I’ve loved you since we were eleven, and you didn’t even hesitate to leave me for some girl you’d just met!” Tears streamed down your face, but you could’ve given less fucks. “Why was she so much better, huh? What did she have that I didn’t? What did she do that was so much better than everything I did?”

Regulus was left speechless.

“Do you even know what I’ve done for you? Do you even care for the things I’ve done? Do you?” You harshly pushed your hands against the boy’s chest, causing him to lean backwards and fall onto the post of your bed. “Whenever your parents tortured you, I was the one that was there for you! When your father was drunk off his arse every night, and your mother sided with him, I helped you! When Sirius left you all alone with your parents, I stayed with you that whole night! When you came to me with a black eye and bruises all over your body, I tended to you! It was me! Not Adaléne! Me! It was always me!”

Your cheeks were flushed, your chest heaving from the pained speech that you practically screamed out. Tear stains ran down your cheeks and your chin, your makeup now effectively ruined. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before speaking through gritted teeth, “So don’t tell me you ‘love’ me. Because we both know that’s a lie. Now, please, get out of my dorm.”

Regulus knew there was no point in arguing. He ruined your friendship, your relationship, and there was no going back from that.

So, with a heavy heart, he slowly pushed himself off your bed. He thought twice to ask you if you could still be friends after all this, but only a fool would think such an instance would be possible.

And after one last glance at your broken figure, he walked out of your dorm room, closed the door, and pretended he couldn’t hear the violent sobs that racked your body from the unbearable pain only he could have caused you.

tags: @thatonegayloser616

#regulus black #regulus #regulus black x reader #regulus black fanfiction #regulus black angst #regulus x reader #regulus black x you #regulus x you #marauders era

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mr-damian-s-power · 5 months ago

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What if Lumity suffered from burn-out?

Sooooo.....Yeah, if you saw it, I made a post asking about the potentiality of Amity being a bit co-dependant. I've deleted it now because I see it was dumb and stupid and stupid and dumb. Amity is NOT co-dependant, she's just a bit clingy because Lumity is a teen relationship and they tend to be like that.

So, instead of that, how about I bring up something I feel could have been been very progressive. See, it's all well and good to show a healthy queer relationship, but how about we go a step further. How about we show that queer relationships can run into the same issues as straight ones? No, I'm not saying I wanted Lumity to start arguing and threatening each other with break-up, but running into that problem that plagues many relationships; burn-out!

Luz and Amity spend almost all of their time together. From what I can tell, Amity is almost entirely emotionally dependant on Luz. Tell me, wouldn't it be realistic to show Luz becoming emotionally drained by this? When teens believe they love each other, they tend to rush into relationships. These types of relationships tend to not last long, due to them not being emotionally mature enough to deal with real emotions. So, would they be able to spot the signs of burn-out if they made themselves known.

How about I give a little bit more?

Let's say that Luz and Amity have been together for a while now. They love each other! They spend almost all of their time around one another. It's great! At least, it would be, but Amity has begun to notice something about her favourite Human. Over the last few days, Luz has been acting different around her. Whenever she offers affection to Amity, her voice carries an undercurrent of weary obligation, or her smile doesn't reach her eyes. She seems tired!

Why is that? She seems to be getting enough sleep, so why would she be tired? And why...why does she only seem to be like that around her? Oh Titan, no! This was what Amity feared most! Is Luz...getting bored of her? But why? She's been a good girlfriend! They spend almost every day, and all day, together!

Is...Is she the problem? Amity begins overthrowing everything, trying to figure out what she did. She can't help but panic about the possibility that she's done something wrong. That Luz's strange demeanour is her fault. This does not go unnoticed by the other members of the Hexsquad.

Willow, Gus and Hunter discuss about what's going on with their friends. Luz isn't her usual cheery self and Amity now seems even more clingy than ever to her girlfriend. It may not be their place to stick their noses into their relationship, but something is definitely up. Well, Luz and Amity are almost always together. Luz often showers Amity with compliments, who always eats it up. Then, it clicks! That's what's going on here! Luz is suffering from burn-out!

The trio devise a plan to try and help with this issue. They come to a conclusion. Separating the pair for a day and getting to talking with them. Willow and Gus take Amity, while Hunter takes Luz. This would give the two some healthy time apart, and give their friends some time to interrogate them.

Amity doesn't take this well. She's constantly worrying about what Luz is up to, if she's angry or upset at her. Was all this set up by Luz to get away from her? She'll check in with a text! Just one and that's it. Gus and Willow put a stop to that! This isn't about Luz! Well, it is, but not ENTIRELY about her.

The pair reassure Amity's worries that Luz is not upset with her, or Titan forbid bored of her. The issue that's come up is burn-out. The pair spent nearly every waking moment around each other, and even though they love each other more than anything, that can be tiring. 'Time apart is healthy' they tell her. If you spend all of your time with someone, especially someone you're emotionally dependant on, it can lead to your time together feeling less special and could even lead to one or both of you developing negative feelings.

Amity will then blame herself. She thinks all of this is her fault for pushing Luz so much with needing affection, but it isn't her fault. She loves Luz and sees the world in her, but Luz can't keep up with the love all the time. She has to learn that Luz will always love her, but she can't ALWAYS love her. Even just a few days is all she needs to 'recharge' in a sense. She needs some time away from Amity, with her other friends or even just on her own.

This would also give Amity some time with just Willow and Gus. She can rekindle more of her friendship with Willow (which was very much sidelined. At times I forgot they were once friends) and get to know Gus (seriously, do they ever interact? Just the two of them, I mean?). Amity can be shown that she has friends outside of Luz who care for her and she can rely on. For the first time in a long while, her mind is off of Luz, and she doesn't mind it.

But what is Luz up to?

Luz is spending time with Hunter, who's trying to get her to open up. Does she know why she's acting like how she is? Burn-out? What an idea! Luz isn't burnt out, she's just....not getting much sleep! Hunter doesn't believe it for a second.

Hunter - "It's Amity, isn't it?"

Luz - "Hey, what are you trying to say? This is HER fault?"

Hunter - "I didn't say it was her fault, I was saying that this change in demeanour is related to her! I want to know exactly how you're feeling about her!"

Luz - "You're sure you wanna know?"

Hunter - "I want to know exactly how you and Amity are working right now! No sugarcoating!"

Luz - "Okay, I'll tell you what's up! I'm...tired, okay? I'm tired! There, I said it!"

Hunter - "Tired of what? Amity?"

Luz - *groans and rolls her eyes* "Don't say it like that......but yes! We spend so much time together. All day every day, she's there, even when I honestly just want to be on my own. Look, I love Amity! I love her more than anything, but I just...*sighs* I know it sounds really really selfish, but I just want some me time! I want to spend some time with King, or one of you guys, but Amity is always there!"

Hunter patiently watches and listens.

Luz - "And the worst part; I don't know how to fix this! If I leave it, I'm just gonna be tired all the time around her. If I ignore her, she's gonna assume I'm getting bored of her. If I tell her I don't want to spend time with her, she's gonna think she's a problem. How do I tell her about this without hurting her?

Hunter can then suggest just coming out and saying that you'd like some alone time, away from Amity. Even if it hurts her, this is no way to live, feeling constantly emotionally drained. She will understand that it is a good thing to have some time apart. Plus, it's only for a short time, a few days max.

Later that day, or the next, the Hexsquad meets up again. Hunter, Willow and Gus expected the separated lovers to rush into each other's arms, but they don't. Luz and Amity slowly walk to each other, both offering embarrassed smiles. Amity apologises that she's been overly clingy and making Luz feel emotionally drained, who in turn apologises for not coming clean about her problems and just leaving them to get worse.

The two girls agree that they should have just a few days apart, to 'recharge their batteries' as Luz puts it. But then, they'll be right back at each other's side. They come to an agreement that they should take at the very least one weekend every month where they separate and spend time with other people.

Did all this make sense? Thoughts?

#owl house #the owl house #toh #toh critical #toh criticism #criticism #constructive criticism #lumity

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siconetribal · 6 months ago

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Put it on My Tab (19)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Warning: Frustration, Online Gaming, and Revelations

A/N:

Please comment/like/reblog. If you’d like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know! I’d also greatly appreciate it if rebloggers remember to add the tags (or some at least).

As always, a huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

All occupants of Wayne manor knew Jason was in a sour mood. To what extent or why was not clear, but it was obvious in his lack of snippy banter and increased silence, and when he did respond, it was sharper than usual. It was as if he was regressing back to the days when he was still finding his footing amongst them. He and Bruce never had an outwardly discussion clarifying everything, but there was something that was done to help build a new foundation, regardless oh how shaky that was.

They tried to approach the second Robin in a variety of ways, trying to unearth the reason for the sudden slip into anger. Some thought Bruce and him had an argument, while others thought there may be trouble in the Outlaws. Neither was able to confirm their suspicions, and any attempt to do so was met with aggression and deflection.

Annoyed by all their brown nosing, Jason left the manor and spent the next couple of nights at his own apartment. Of course, I’d have no privacy in a house full of detective vigilantes. He rolled his eyes as he rolled out of bed and made his way over to his computer. Plopping onto the chair, he let it wheel backwards before pulling himself forward by the desk. He stared at the game icon on his desktop for what felt like the umpteenth time today. His fingers drummed just below his keyboard as he eyed his mouse, which rested only a couple inches away. I can’t just log on and act like I haven’t been gone in forever. She’s probably pissed that her online buddy has been MIA for so long. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back, the chair reclining with his weight. This is my only way to even speak to her, though. I cleared up the bill crap, maybe I can meet her again through here? Fake that I didn’t know who she was? Not like she’d ever know that I knew anyway. Pursing his lips to one side, he intensely stared at his ceiling, as if it held some sort of secret that would aid him in his decision to long on or not.

“Fuck it, I’m logging on!” The seat swung forward with him as he sat up and logged onto the game.

Arkam_Knight has logged in. The italicized text popped up on the screen, much to Y/N’s surprise. Her character was currently standing in the town square looking at the request board for something that was easy enough for a solo hunt. Seeing the name of her dearly miss comrade was an answer to her desperate pleas for some miracle because there was no mission that allowed solo entry. She eagerly opened the chat box and began to type.

<Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! Where have you been?! I would’ve called the police for a wellness check, but I don’t have a clue on where you live.> She watched the ellipses bounce then vanish repeatedly for a couple of minutes. The longer he took to reply, the more concerned she was becoming. An unknown weight slowly creeped onto her shoulders. Anxious thoughts spun around in her mind. The distant ding of his response was able to rip her from the thoughts.

<Yeeeaaah, my bad. Work was crazy and shit had me all over the fucking place trying to clean up. I can’t go into detail, a lot of confidential crap.>

<Yeah, I figured. So, I know you can’t tell me what you do for a living, but I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re working as a high level officer of some kind. I won’t ask you what branch, but sounds like you do work city wide, which I have no clue how you handle that.>

<Someone’s gotta do the dirty work, right? It ain’t for everyone. It just so happens that I’ve got a knack for it.> He added a little proud sticker. <You’ve been MIA yourself, I’ve logged in a few times and saw you hadn’t been on in a while.>

<Where do I even begin? Life has been kicking both of us in the asses, it seems.> She sent an exhausted sticker. She paused for a few minutes, staring at her blinking cursor. How was she going to explain it all to him? Would it even be believable? She, herself, also found it hard to swallow was true. From dealing with Waynes to meeting two of Batman’s partners to being part of a claim investigation because of the collateral damage to the building.

I thought dealing with snobby rich kids and wild Karens was as crazy as my life was going to be. Who knew I’d be entangled with crime fighters and a Trust Fund kid. She slumped in her seat, slowly tapping at the space bar to let him know she was still there. Erasing the long gap of emptiness, she sat up once more.

<Damn, that much? Take your time, I’m here.>

<Thanks.> She smiled at the animated thumbs up sticker was sent. At least I still hot my friends.

Jason sank back into his computer chair, rocking back and forth and swinging side to side as he awaited for her response. Watching the symbol of her typing appear and disappear multiple times was far more torturous than he anticipated. He knew what she was going to tell him, he was there with her. She did not know that, and he did not know how she took any of it. The only thing he could rely on were the facts, but that did nothing for his nerves.

If someone told him that he would wake up one morning in a hotel room next to a stranger, who knew how to get under his skin and take over his thoughts, he would have laughed at them. If they told him she was his online gaming buddy as well, he would have scoffed the added detail and never spoken to the person for being out of their mind. And yet, here he was, months later, talking to that very strange woman, battling between keeping in touch and cutting all ties.

If things could just go back to when we didn’t know each other, it could just be simpler. I can’t even game with her without feeling some sort of way. He rubbed his chest as that uncomfortable weight sank onto his heart. I should’ve just paid the bill and let it be. Why did it matter if she knew me or not? I knew she got screwed over because of me, I should’ve just ended it as soon as I found her. His irrational actions bothered him. He was a cold and calculating vigilante that played by his own rules. He even ran the crime world for a time when he was completely at odds with Batman and was blinded by his heightened rage. He survived death and a beating from the Joker. Handling a hotel bill for a girl should not be this difficult, and yet here he was stuck in quicksand. He glanced at his computer monitor and his eye twitched at the site of the dots vanishing again. “What is she doing, right a novel?!” He threw his hands up and heaved a heavy sigh.

He swung his chair straight at the ding and leaned in close to the monitor, skimming the paragraph before forcing himself to read from the start.

<Ok, Dickens, you didn’t tell me you were publishing a novel! Lol, give me a sec to read all this.>

It started off as he expected, she mentioned their first few meetings and how she fumbled with trying to hide herself. He could not help the snicker that came at her admission of being angry at him, but a grin quickly took over when she confessed that she found him good-looking.

“Damn right, you did! I’m fucking handsome!” He boasted, puffing his chest with pride before diving back into the text. I came that night and those pricks were there, ok, Nightwing and Red Robin came crashing through the window, fine, so then-wait, what the fuck! His gaze snapped back to the two mentioned vigilantes and the incident he was not aware of at all. “When the fuck did this happen? Did Dickhead do this on purpose?! I’m going to enjoy getting answers out of him later.” He cracked his knuckles as a wicked smirk took over. He carefully read through the incident and soon realized that this was in fact a coincidence, but his ‘darling’ older brother failed to mention it to him. At least they left her a tip.

Pushing forward, he read about the following insurance claim filing that was on going to prove that this was not something staged. Then there were her concerns about a particular caffeine addicted young teen who was another Wayne with another name. His mind instantly flashed to the memory of Tim’s coffee cup.

Don’t tell me he’s in on it too! Nosy assholes, Jason was ready to flip his computer table but kept his composure. No, he can’t be. He hasn’t been asking me shit or tailing me in any way. That means this is just his need for coffee, and she makes damn good coffee. He reasoned himself back into a state of calm to read onwards. The name of the detective in charge of the claim has him seeing red. He paced the length of his bedroom to avoid breaking his only means of communication with her. “Oh, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him the next time I see him! That was on purpose, he chose to take the lead on this because I told him her name. Dickhead is in for a world of pain.” His voice rumbled in anger as he expended the rage through physical activity.

He sat back in his seat when he felt he was calm enough to, and continued to read the rest of what she had to say. She finally got to their last evening together. He made her brownies and she was really touched by it.

<I was purely joking about the brownies, but he actually went through with it! I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy who made me brownies, and he’s a stranger! It’s insufferable just how perfect he is for dropping such a huge bill on my head!> She punctuated with angry stickers. <I didn’t want to eat them, though. I wanted to keep them forever, like a memento since-well, I’m getting a head of myself.> She dove into the details of their diner date. He remembered that night, they talked for hours, but it felt like hardly any time had even gone by. <I hated asking him to pay, but I had to. It was getting to be too much for me and my roomie. He was great about it, a real gentleman. I said to just help with what was left, but he paid me the whole thing! I really had him wrong in my head. We ended up staying out late, talking. I don’t think I’ve ever had such an easy conversation with a guy before. When the diner had to close, he took me home and even waisted until I got through the front door. But now I don’t have any reason to talk to him, and he hasn’t made any effort to reach out to me either. Which loops back to the brownies. I wanted to keep them as a memento because it looks like that chapter is closed. But all of his efforts would’ve gone to waste. They were really good, which sucks. Now he’s even more of a jerk wad because it’s not fair! My roomie has plans to celebrate my freedom, but I’m not so sure. I want to, but it involves the tip from Nightwing and Red Robin. Would that be considered evidence or something I should hand over to the detective at my formal interview?>

The infamous Red Hood sat there, speechless, with his head swimming from his and her emotions. She clearly wanted to keep up their friendship, and he did too, but it was not safe. She was already linked to two of them, which was bad enough. He knew he was the worst of them to ever be associated with, and that made this more irritating for him. He muttered profanities as he slammed his fist on the desk. If only he could untangle himself from all this, everything would be fine.

<Shit, you really were busy. Glad to hear he paid his dues like a man. But if he’s so hot, why not just ask him out yourself?> He suggested. He needed to act like any other citizen. He needed to distance himself from himself in her mind. <Did you really serve Nightwing and Red Robin while they were on a mission? I definitely wouldn’t have thought about giving them coffee in the middle of all that. Though, he sounds like a weirdo saying your name so many times. I doubt he was threatening you, maybe he’s got some weirdo fetish? I’d say keep away from him. As great as he is, a masked guy flipping through the Gotham night in spandex must have some sorta thing.> He insisted. That’s what you get, Dick-wing. He smirked. <The tip is yours to keep, you served them, and they gave you a tip. Unless it had some secret message or some sort of flash drive, cash isn’t going to be a dig deal. Plus, they didn’t ask you about the tip though they saw it on camera, you’re good. It’s yours, use it.>

<Yeah, she said the same thing. Said it was a gift from the heavens and I shouldn’t be so paranoid. Also, no way in hell am I asking him out! He’ll think I’m some gold digging hussy! The guy paid for dinner and the hotel bill, I think I’m the last person he wants to see again!>

<Because he’s a bigger dumbass and overthinks like you? Thinks you hate him or that you don’t want anything to do with him because he landed you in shit?> He countered. <You don’t have to do anything, I’m just saying thinking about it. Whatever you choose, just don’t abandon me again! Solo raiding was horrible!> He added a few tearful stickers to gain sympathy.

<LOL, anytime! I thought you’d never ask!>

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