#this post got WAY out of hand but I hope it helps

[norrisainz33]

baby blue || cs55

☆ summary: carlos sainz is married to famous pop star y/n who has been connected to the f1 world for years having been a mercedes ambassador and good friends with lewis hamilton. after a video of y/n and lewis surfaces, y/n shares some big news with the spanish driver.

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x famous!wife!reader x lewis hamilton

☆ fc & warnings: rihanna! a little angsty, mentions of pregnancy, translated spanish

☆ requested: yes! thanks for this idea and for your patience. had to add in some written parts to this to tell the story! hope you enjoy xxoo

masterlist

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

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ynuser: 📍 bahrain

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user1: pink is your color

dualipa: real! miss u my sweet gorgeous girl

user33: you just gonna post like we didnt see the video from the paddock

user18: no for realllll like girl be soooo for real

user1: nah nah nah you guys need to but out you know nothing!! they're just friends. we dont need to scrutinize everything they do

tatemcrae: my icon fr

user2: ynlewis supremacy

user8: seems like shes a ynlewis truther herself bsed on that video

user3: lewishamilton come get your girl

user4: more like carlossainz55 come get your girl yikes

[comments on this post have been limited]

✿

staring down at your phone you watched as the video played over and over each replay making your stomach twist a little more. you cursed yourself for not remembering where you were before having your very public breakdown in front of lewis at ferrari hospitality. what was supposed to be a quick visit to tell lewis (one of your closest friends) that red suited him and say a quick hello to alexandra had spiraled into something entirely different. one moment you were complimenting him and the next you were sobbing in his arms. of course, the media caught every second of it and in true fashion they plastered the video everywhere. the rumors started flying almost immediately with the world convinced you and lewis were more than just friends as they have been for years.

but here's how the conversation really went:

"hi lewis!! god that red is doing wonders for you right now," you smiled as you took in the sight of your best friend decked out in ferrari gear.

"thanks, y/n/n. i think so too," he grinned - his confidence and happiness clear.

"you ready to hop in that car and show everyone you’ve still got it grandpa?"

"absolutely. you know better than anyone how much i want to make this work." his voice was full of sincerity and something about the way he said it made your chest tighten and tears started welling up in your eyes.

"oh no, don't cry on me now…" he said his hand gently brushing at your cheek.

you laughed but it was shaky as the tears fully spilled down your face. "sorry, sorry… i just - i'm so excited for you, and i miss danny and checo," you rambled suddenly feeling overwhelmed. he gave you a confused look not exactly sure where all of this was coming form.

"something tells me there's more to this, y/n/n," he said his tone shifting as he took a step closer.

without thinking, you blurted it out. "i’m pregnant."

lewis froze for a split second before pulling you into a tight hug, letting you cry into his shoulder. the kind of cry that left you feeling both raw and relieved at the same time.

"hey, hey— the cameras are loving this," alexandra’s voice suddenly broke through and she frantically pushed both of you toward the ferrari hospitality area her tone full of urgency.

as she led the way you couldn’t help but feel the weight of everything.... the unexpected turn your life had taken and the way the world was watching every moment unfold and it was too late to take it all back now.

✿

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user1: wow a rare carlos sighting on a story.. awk timing after that vid....

carlossainz55: wow posting me? surprised its not lewis.

ynuser: carlos don't start please. you know its not like that

carlossainz55: then why was it lewis holding you while you were crying and not me? and why won’t you even tell me what happened?

ynuser: i did tell you. it’s just been so overwhelming lately especially with the pressure from my label to release new music. on top of that i haven’t been feeling great which makes everything harder. you literally held my hair while i threw up all night. come on carlos please.

carlossainz55: mi amor you know I’ve had a hard time with your relationship with lewis. and now that he’s taken my seat… it just gets harder to see him in ferrari red while comforting my wife. it’s hard not to feel jealous!

ynuser: i’m really sorry carlos. i can’t even imagine how that feels. focus on your last practice session and get the data you need. we can talk properly when you’re back at the hotel ok?

carlossainz55: fine but you’ll explain everything word for word right?

ynuser: of course. now go -- i see on tv that the power’s back on

carlossainz55: yeah yeah ill go. i love you -- even when im upset

ynuser: i love you too. always

user33: damage control?

alexandrasaintmleux: love you pretty girl. please let me know if you need anything both charlie and i are here for you too

ynuser: i love you more alex 🤍 thank you for always supporting me. oh and for noticing the cameras before they got too much

alexandrasaintmleux: thats what friends are for. please please please keep me updated

user10: i just know everyone's tearing u up in these replies so im here to say i love and support you bb

lewishamilton: did you tell him yet?

ynuser: considering you’re both at the same testing... no I haven’t

lewishamilton: oh don't give me that. you could have told him last night!!

ynuser: yeah well i was scared!!

lewishamilton: sweetheart, the faster you rip off the bandaid the faster he (and everyone else) stops getting the complete wrong idea

ynuser: i know i know i know!!!!!! easier said than done here lewis.

lewishamilton: he tried to approach me this morning and i was able to avoid it but if he comes to me and starts asking what is up... i'm not going to lie

ynuser: alright message received. him and i agreed to talk everything out tonight.

lewishamilton: good.

user11: idc abt this man release new music pls im begging its been ages

schecoperez: mi amiga what in the world is going on?

ynuser: too much honestly... i'll call you bc BOY do i have a lot to share and ALSO i miss you SO MUCH

schecoperez: will be impatiently waiting :)

user44: tbh idc abt f1.. id rather see pics of u. free my queen from this nonsense sport!!!!

✿

you flopped back onto the giant hotel bed letting out a big sigh. alex and lily had just left after giving you the pep talk of a lifetime and dropping off the cake. if it wasn't for them and all the effort they’d put into running around bahrain to find someone who could make you this cake, you probably would’ve chickened out of telling carlos altogether. it wasn’t something either of you had planned for yet. you’d only gotten married a few months ago and between carlos switching to a new team and the insane pressure your label had been piling on you, it felt like the wrong time to be having a baby. hence, your breakdown in the paddock with lewis. but like alex and lily said everything happens for a reason and maybe this was just the moment it was meant to happen, no matter how daunting it all felt.

you quickly sat up when you heard carlos fumbling with the door to the hotel room and immediately, tears started to well up. you tried to hold them back but they came rushing down as soon as carlos stepped through the door. his brow furrowed when he saw you crying on the bed.

"mi amor..." he sighed setting his things down on the couch and shrugging off his williams jacket. "what’s going on with you?" he asked gently kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your bare knees.

you were fully sobbing now desperately wiping away the tears as he watched you in silence. "i just... i..." you tried to speak but the words got tangled up in your sobs making it harder to get them out.

"cariño take a deep breath," he said softly taking your hand in his and giving it a firm squeeze. you obeyed and took slow, deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. which wasn’t easy these days with all the changes your body was going through. eventually you shook your head not being able to calm yourself enough and pointed toward the box on the table hoping he would understand. carlos’ eyes followed your finger and he stood up walking over to the table. "y/n, what is...?" he stopped mid-sentence struck silent as he stared down at the contents of the box—a small cake with 'we’re having a baby' written on it and a pregnancy test sitting next to it.

you kept focusing on your breathing summoning the courage to look at your husband who stood completely still. in the endless seconds it took for him to react - guilt, panic, and despair began to settle in. "i’m sorry, carlos, i know this is a horrible time. i should’ve told you earlier, we should’ve talked about this first, and i just—i’m sorry this—"

"stop, y/n," he interrupted, his voice thick with emotion. you couldn’t tell if the tears in his eyes were good or bad. but then in the blink of an eye, his face softened and his expression lightened up. "don’t apologize for this, my love." he picked up the test and glanced back at you. "this is real?"

"yes," you whispered.

he dropped the test moving swiftly toward you and pulling you into a tight embrace. "we’re going to have a baby chili," he mumbled into your neck holding you like he never wanted to let go. and with that all of your worries melted away.

✿

ynuser has posted to their private story

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lando: what u posting close ups of food for

ynuser: you’ll find out when you’re older

lando: tf that supposed to mean

ynuser: means you can’t keep a secret to save your life

lando: a man accidentally includes a photo from a wedding in 1!!!! photo dump and he can’t ever come back from it

ynuser: exactly

lando: 🤨

lilymhe: THE CAKE HAS BEEN EATEN???

ynuser: it has!!!!!! and everything is ok

lilymhe: i’m so relieved

carlossainz55: the best cake i’ve ever had 🤍

ynuser: i'm really quite glad you think so

carlossainz55: of course gorgeous. i am so excited that we get to be parents

ynuser: i'm so happy that you're happy

carlossainz55: over the moon actually. i already called the florist and local bakery near casa de mi familia to get everything sorted for when we tell them in a couple weeks. i also sent you room service and some special deliveries so if you hear a loud knock on the door this morning, just know its from me

ynuser: carlos 😭😭😭😭

carlossainz55: i also may or may not have already slipped and told teto..........

ynuser: I THOUGHT WE WERE TELLING HIM AND GIGI AT DINNER ONCE YOU OFFICIALLY FINISHED TESTNG

carlosainz55: ....... i mean that was the plan originally but we were cycling this morning and he could tell something was up and well i couldnt lie!! i swore him to secrecy it is ok

ynuser: i'm making my lawyers send him an nda

carlossainz55: LOL

ynuser: i'm serious

carlossainz55: oh... well in that case… whatever makes you feel best my love!!!

alexandrasaintmleux: details mon ange

ynuser: he finally got back after testing and i completely broke down into tears bc of course i did—im a mess with these hormones. he immediately was worried ofc and was like “mi amor, what’s wrong?” but I couldn’t even stop crying long enough to explain. so i just pointed at the cake box instead and then be opened it, stared at it for what felt like an eternity… honestly, it was probably 8 million years and then HE started crying. which just made me cry even more. but honestly after we got everything out it felt like really good. he was beyond excited like already talking about the little one and brainstorming names and looking up where to buy baby clothes in spain and already planning how to tell his family and mine

alexandrasaintmleux: 🥹😭 see!! it was all ok!!! i’m so so so glad he was excited. i knew he would be!! he wanted so badly to be dad

lewishamilton: so?

ynuser: i told him

lewishamilton: thank god!! now i can assume uncle duties without getting my face bashed in

ynuser: you’re so dramatic

yourbff: i’m so happy for you guys 😭

ynuser: thank you sweetheart 😘

dualipa: assuming i’m missing context here

ynuser: i’ll face time you baby girl

carlossainz55 has posted to his story

[sharing the joy with our family ☀️💙]

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anasainzvdec: mi hermano i am so excited for you. i can't wait to be an auntie 🤍

carlossainz55: i love you ana! you will be the world's best aunt

user2: PINON!!!!!!

carlossainzoficial: ¡tal vez la mayor alegría que hayas podido compartir con nosotros! [perhaps the greatest joy you could have shared with us!]

carlossainz55: me alegro. no puedo esperar a que seas abuelo, papá. [i am glad. i can't wait for you to be a grandfather, dad]

carlossainzoficial: estoy muy orgulloso del hombre en el que te has convertido y de la vida que has construido con y/n. [i'm so proud of the man you have become and the life you have built with y/n]

carlossainz55: ¡no me hagas llorar papá! [don't make me cry dad]

user4: sharing joy??? with your family..... what does this mean?

lando: google translating this as we speak

lando: and what joy are you sharing and why are you not also sharing it with me?

carlossainz55: i will be on sunday muppet. you are coming to dinner at my house no?

lando: oh heck yeah ill be there

user18: what an interesting wording you have here mr.sainz - what are you talking about?

ynuser: petition to bring pinon with us everywhere

carlossainz55: jajaaj i don't know that she would like that

ynuser: 😭😭😭😭😭 fair ig. tho i think a baby and a puppy would be a perfect pair......

user55: the world is healing youre back with pinon

alexandrasaintmleux: EEEEEEK!!!!!! y/n filled me in on how it went. truly so excited for you. i can't wait for the big dinner party where you're telling all of us 🤍

carlossainz55: i am very much looking forward to this weekend. we'll see you soon mi amiga

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carlossainz55: spent the weekend celebrating the news with some of my favorite people. you are so loved already baby chili. you're mommy, daddy and loads of aunties and uncles can't wait to meet you so very soon 💙🌶️

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user55: crying my eyes out rn you have no idea

ynuser: thankful for you, our baby boy, and the amazing people we have supporting us 🤍

carlossainz55: even more thankful for you for giving me the greatest gift i could have ever asked for my beautiful wife

user85: may a love like this find me expeditiously

user1: well…. a baby wasn’t on my bingo card

lando: dibs on teaching baby chili how to drive

charlesleclerc: i already called dibs

georgerussell63: no i believe i did

carlossainz55: frankly, i dont trust any of you to teach him

charlesleclerc: WOW

user4: congratulations 😭 i'm seething with jealousy 😭

alex_albon: can't wait to be the favorite uncle

lilymhe: with me as the favorite aunt

alexandrasaintmleux: um hello? i'm going to be the favorite aunt

lando: FALSE I AM THE FAVORITE AUNT

ynuser: guys please lets not fight

user23: carlando having their own pic at the end is sending me. classic carlando behavior

user13: man this vroom vroom got my girl and now they’re having a baby? smh

lewishamilton: congratulations you two! overjoyed to see two of my favorite people becoming parents ❤️

carlossainz55: thank you 💙

user88: tea

user56: so many of the drivers being at their baby shower has me in genuine shambles im not ok this grid baby is going to be so loved

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: phew this took me forever... hope you enjoy!! likes and reblogs appreciated as always ❤️‍🔥

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[scribblemesylus]

What they need to hear from you

The one where you comfort him : Caleb, Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus, Xavier

Hello! This is my first official writing of the LaDS characters; I hope you enjoy it! comments and reposts and love are most appreciated! 💕 The reader is the MC in this one! Angsty (but happy endings) No other warnings.Thank you to my friend who helped me find some inspiration for this post <3

Caleb

Caleb always tried to be the Caleb you remembered, even if he could not remember it that well, he searched through the little memory he had left to piece himself together. Because it was for you. He saw your face that day, the day you told him you didn't need him. That look in your eye, he didn't know exactly what it was; disgust? Pity? Terror? He couldn't recognise it. So, instead of acting like it never happened, he tried to make himself better, just so you would never leave his side again... you liked him before, right? So, it shouldn't be too hard... right?

Turns out, it was harder than he had ever imagined, after all the time he had not seen you since you were released from his fleet, everything between the two of you became suffocatingly awkward. Neither of you knew what to do, what to say, he was beginning to believe that even with the silly coupon (he didn't find it silly... not really), there was no salvaging what the two of you had.

He had destroyed it all in desperation to have you.

So, even though whenever he was near you, he felt like as if is chest was caved in from shame; he stayed by your side. Letting himself silently suffocate because that is what he deserved for letting you down -- or so he believed. It wasn't until you came back injured from a mission, where he ran to you, but he didn't dare touch you, his hands just sort of... hovered over your injuries, his eyes darting around, his brain trying desperately to find a way he could help you without terrifying you again. You sighed and watched him before slowly reaching toward his hand, your fingers brushing against the top of his hand "Caleb..." You whisper, your now strained relationship was hurting a lot more than your physical injuries "Caleb, I am not scared of you... I need you to help me." You push and look at him "Please.." It was true, what happened in Skyhaven was behind you and even though it was killing you with how different the two of you were compared to before, you aren't able to clean all these wounds yourself.

Caleb's eyes softened immediately, and he nodded. "Of course, Pipsqueak, you must be hurting a lot; I'm sorry." He quickly got up and grabbed the first aid kit as he slowly sat you down gently and began to look at your injuries, taking a deep breath before he peeled your sleeves away. "Pips... where did you go to... to get these types of injuries?" He asked gently, but when he was met with nothing but silence, he let out a sigh. "Please, prioritise your safety..." He muttered before continuing to help you as you focused on other wounds. You turn to him and nod "I do, it's just-" He didn't need you to explain, "I know." Was all he said before finishing up and packing the first aid kit "Do you... uh.." He scratched the back of his neck. "Need help with anything else?" He asks gently, but when you shake your head, he just gives you a soft smile and lets you be.

He stood in the kitchen and sighed gently as he slipped the first aid kit back into the cupboard. It wasn't easy to see you like this, in pain and uncomfortable. He just wanted to fix everything; he was good at it whilst he was younger, so why wasn't he good at it now?

He knew you had to do this; you had to save the people the way that you and he weren't in that catastrophe, but he wondered if you were trying to prove something to yourself, too. Caleb wanted to push them, tell you that saving the world wasn't your responsibility, but he has just got you back; you're finally not scared of him anymore; he couldn't ruin that. All he could be is glad that you were here now, that you came to him after all.

He closed the cupboard and prepared a small cup of hot chocolate for the two of you, and sat in the sitting room, waiting for your return.

After getting changed into comfier clothing, you nestled into Caleb, your heart racing slightly in fear he would reject this form of affection after so long... after what you said to him. But, he welcomed it and wrapped his arm around you. "I want to go back to how we used to be.." You say softly, looking up at his big purple eyes. "A-At least, start working towards it... You're my home, Caleb... I don't want this... awkwardness anymore."

You swore you could almost see him levitate off the couch as he practically shone with happiness as if those were the only words he ever needed to hear. "Anything you want, Pipsqueak, I am yours to command."

Rafayel

Rafayel was not an insecure man. At least, that is what everyone else thought. Rafayel, on the other hand, was not so sure. It is not that he felt insecure; it's more he felt this emptiness inside of him, and he had no clue what to fill it with. After all these years, he had you in his grasp once more, so close, yet so far. Because he remembered everything, he even knew what was to come, but you? You're so clueless. He knew how he lost you, how he would lose you and how he could lose you. And he had to deal with this pain and anger all alone.

His past failures jabbed into him as if he were Prometheus, constantly being pecked by a bird. He lived between what was his life and the life he had before, dealing with the betrayal he caused, all for the one he loved, for you, but you didn't know. You will never know.

A part of him did not want you to ever find out what kind of monster he was, afraid he would scare you away, like the otherworldly beast he is, but the other part of him was so tired of carrying this alone.

He wasn't insecure in himself, but insecure for what he could do for you, insecure in his love for you. Would it be enough for you to stay? For the two of you to finally have an entire lifetime together? Would it be worth plunging his people into darkness?

It was a constant spiral he had since you came back into his life, like a rollercoaster, but forever stuck on the loop, the happiness that he finally has you and the pain of what he was - it was a never-ending cycle. That a part of him didn't want to escape; he deserved this pain after all, didn't he? For what is a God who does not live in shame for causing suffering to his people?

But, deep down, he was just afraid he would become unloveable in your eyes. That was his deepest, darkest fear, the one that drowned him in darkness once the night time hit.

You knew something was wrong. It seems silly but when your world was a bit duller, when the grey clouds seemed more prominent or when the lakes and seas swayed as if it was heavy, you knew Rafayel was not himself. So, with a spare bag of seashells in hand and some of the rare materials you knew he liked, you headed over to his place.

The plastic bag twisted against your fingers, almost cutting off circulation entirely as you made your way through the streets and to the beach, slipping your spare key out of your pocket and into the keyhole of the gate, twisting it a few times to unlock the gate.

You gently swished the bag beside you as you made the way to the door, and you imagined your boyfriend's smile when he saw you. However, your heart fell to your stomach as Rafayel's 'organised' mess was scattered and ruined across the floor. The studio was a mess and unkempt; it was almost like an abandoned building.

"Rafayel?" You called out and looked around the place before you saw him sitting on the balcony.

He turned to you, his eyes screaming emotions at you that you had never seen on him before "Cutie..." He whispered meekly.

You fell to your knees by his side once you approached his side and cupped his face "Darling? What has happened? Are you struggling to paint?" You ask as you caress his cheek, your heart fluttering as he leans in as if he hadn't been touched by you in weeks (he saw you yesterday)

"Will you still love me, no matter what I become?" He asked you suddenly, and you froze as you looked at him; the two of you had silently loved each other until now, finding other ways to highlight your love rather than saying it.

"Of course you wouldn't." He muttered bitterly and turned from you, missing how your brows scrunched together with a mix of confusion and anger

"What-?"

"How could an angel like you love a monster like-" "I love you." You blurt out and make him face you, "I wanted to say it in a more romantic way, in a way that you will always remember.... but I love you, Rafayel, no matter what you become.." You smile softly and place a kiss on his cheek and caress it into his skin as if to heal him.

Rafayel's hand slipped down from above yours to your wrist as he searched your eyes for any deceit.

"Promise?" He asks, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly as he anticipates your answer.

"I promise, my heart has always been yours and always will be.

Rafayel may have a piece of him missing, but he was sure it was to be filled by you.

Zayne

Zayne is a man who craves control, not over anyone else, just over himself. He had to, because if he was void of control, there would be cracks and the cracks he could not let you see. If you saw his cracks, how could you trust him as your doctor?

He had let you down once, all those years ago when he left you, abandoned you, even if it was not his choice. But he had a choice now and he would use it to make sure he never let you down again.

So, every single crack he kept to himself, stayed up later, worked later until he could fill them all up again before he could see you. However, as he scribbled down notes on his research, the memories of his nightmares played in his mind, taunting him, punishing him, and he came to accept he deserved it. He shouldn't have let all those people come to die, he was a doctor, and a doctor's role was to save a life, not to let it fade away, yet with every year, the list of his letdowns grew.

Everyone told him that it was expected: that to save a life, you were bound to lose a few; it was how life worked. But not for Zayne, not at all, because with every name that appeared on that list, he was afraid it was a name closer to yours.

He couldn't have that, not when he gave up the life he wanted for yours to prevail.

You, on the other hand, were becoming increasingly worried and slightly frustrated with your doctor because this was the third time you tried to coax him out of his office. You have tried everything; cake, macaroons, sweets... all came to a disappointing ending. You thought that trying something as harmless as sweets wouldn't highlight your increasing worry, and it was small enough so you could get a small look at him.

It had almost been two weeks now, and so you made your way to the hospital. You just wanted to know that he was okay and maybe scold him slightly for shutting you out... again.

Once the doors slid open, you gently greeted Yvonne and walked to Zayne's office after making sure he had no more patients to see. You looked down at the box, a small muffin for Zayne, before inhaling and knocking on the door.

Gosh, you hope he doesn't reject you because as your knuckles collide with the door, It dawns on you that he might be avoiding you because you might have done something wrong.

"Come in."

You gulp down and hold the small box a little tighter in your hand, causing it to crease slightly before opening the door. You shifted on your feet as he was too immersed in his work to even look up at you.

"Hi." You greet him gently and slip the muffin on the table, and his eyes instantly break away from the paper at the sound of your voice

"I thought that since you wouldn't come to me for the sweet treats, I would just come to you because I know you cannot go too long without them." You say lightly and place yourself on the chair opposite his desk.

"Thank you." He says softly and looks between you and his work a couple of times before bunching the papers together in a neat pile and slipping them away. "Did you just come from a mission?" You raise a brow. "Are you not going to explain why I haven't seen you in two weeks? I know being a doctor is exhausting, Zayne, but you normally tell me ahead of time-"

"I didn't want to worry you over something foolish. I have it under control."

"Under control? What is under control? Why aren't you talking to me? You know that I am here." The words fall out, conveying your desperation. You had felt empty without him, alone, and you didn't want to feel that again. "It does not concern you, Y/N." He retorts, "If I thought you needed to know, I would have told you." You bite back your words and nod "Alright.." You sit there silently. You would've typically left, but something told you that this time, you needed to stay, that he needed you.

After a few beats of silence, you try again. "You don't have to keep it all to yourself... I know it may not concern me, but that doesn't mean you have to lock it away."

He tensed up. He hated how you could still see through him, even after all this time. He pulled away from his computer, which he was only looking at to control his anxiety for nearly scaring you away. He released the tension in his shoulders and took the muffin. "I lost a patient... two weeks ago."

Sylus

'What a fool' is all he could think as he sat in his office, piles of vinyl scattered across his usually clean office. No tune or genre was calming him. After all this time, after sensing you like he did, after preparing this life for you, he had scared you away.

He couldn't bear to think that because of who he was, his reputation, and who you believed he was made him lose you, not after all this time, not after the promise the two of you shared, not after what you went through.

He was a fool for pushing you too quick, too hard; his excitement and desperation had blinded him; why was he so hellbent on making you remember if he could just build new memories with you? Foolish.

You not remembering a thing, he could get behind, it made sense, but your hatred, your disgust. That he could not get behind, no matter what you believed about him. All he wanted to do was to have you in his arms and to show you what he had made. It might not be the cave you had a lifetime ago, but it was spectacular in this lifetime. A lifetime he built for you, and you didn't even want it.

He supposed he could understand. You did think he killed your family, even though he would never. All he would do would be to keep you safe. It pained him to understand your point of view, to see him as a monster. He was in his last life, so it only made sense that he was in this one.

But he had made you fall in love with him once, and back then, he was truly a monster, so he could make you fall for him again. He just had to give you the choice to choose him.

So, over the next few weeks, he let you choose him, come back to him. Not pushing or pulling, he didn't need to; the door was always open, and you knew that.

That didn't stop his heart from doing flips in his chest each time he saw you walk through the base's doors.

Tonight, you were also expected to come through the doors; he had the twins make sure the base was clean and tidy, that your room was prepared, and that security was at its highest. It was something he always did when you were coming over.

However, you never showed; you were on a mission, so maybe you went home and forgot; that would be reasonable... except come rain or shine, injury or no injury, if you said you were coming, you were always there.

He knew there was something more to your tardiness; without another thought, he sent Mephisto to look for you, and when he came back, the air was knocked out from Sylus' lungs.

You were found passed out, just outside of the base; it didn't take him a second to cross the base and have you in his arms "Oh, kitten.." He brushed the hair from your face, his heart breaking as you weakly opened your eyes.

"Sylus, I am sorry, I tried to call, but..."

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe now." He tried to use his usual tone with you, but his voice was softer, almost as if he was trying his hardest not to let it break.

He worked quickly to get you patched up, swallowing down his worries and quite possibly his tears as he did so, not even letting the twins near you. He sat with you, putting on your favourite vinyl softly in the background as he waited for you to wake up, not leaving your side, his hand placed on yours, afraid that if he let you go, he would lose you like he almost did tonight and the guilt was eating him alive.

"Stop looking at me like that." You mutter and glance toward him. "You're looking at me like your cat just died." You smirk slightly, and he lets out a chuckle "Kitten, why didn't you ask me to pick you up?"

"I assumed you had business to attend to-" "You should've called me. What happened if you never made it here, if we never found you, if you never came back to me, do you think I could live with myself."

You slowly sit up and look toward him "Sylus, I will always come back to you, always. I will always find myself here. You need to trust me on that."

"I do. It's just tonight seeing you like that made me feel-" "Scared?"

He huffed through his nose and pinched the bridge of it "Something like that..." He brushed the hair out of your face "Call me next time." You nod and smile "I will."

A few days later you were back fighting wanderers, but this time Sylus was by your side, his evol swirling around his arm and his hand "You sure about this, Sweetie?"

You nod "I'm Sure, I am safe by your side."

Sylus smiled; you were safe with him; you chose him, and fighting beside you was the greatest honour to have, so he made sure you left the mission without a scratch.

Xavier

It wasn't unusual for you to not see or hear from Xavier for days; you were sure he would pop up at one of the most convenient moments to be by your side. Or, pop up just before you were assigned another partner by Captian Jenna.

This is what happened; before you, the captain, could even mutter another person's name, Xavier appeared, literally faster than the speed of light beside you. Jenna sighed and cleared her throat. "Y/N, your partner will be Xavier for today's mission.

You didn't even look at him before you went to collect what you needed from the information room, and Xavier didn't seem to mind this. He just followed you obediently and read through the information quickly.

You were brought out of your focus when you suddenly heard his voice.

"Aren't you even going to ask where I was for the past few days?" He questioned and tilted his head, unsure why you're not interrogating him like you usually do.

You shrug and turn back to the tablet sitting in your hands. "Why should I? I trust you. If you want to let me know, you will when you need to."

To you, it was just a simple establishment of trust that you assumed you both knew of, but to Xavier, it was everything, and quite clearly, as little lights started to float around him, there was a slight smile on his face.

Trust was a big deal to him; after meeting you for the second time, he almost felt guilty about how angry you were at him for leaving you behind like he did. Not only that, but he failed his planet and the people on it, as well as the people he dragged here, to try and save you... He had failed them all and probably even you to the point where he believed he wasn't even worthy of trust.

You two didn't make a comment about it from that point. It was almost like, 'What is said in the information room stays in the information room.'

You watched him stand there and fiddle with the protocore between his fingers before, like always, crushing it into oblivion.

"Why do you always do that?" You ask, but he does not answer; he just walks you home. "Xavier, are you feeling okay? You've been silent the whole walk home.."

"I'm alright." He shot you a small smile like he always did and went inside. It was yet another protocore that was a waste, another step further from home, another disappointment to the people relying on him... but, at least, you trusted him.

So, he walked down the stairs and to your apartment and knocked on the door. He didn't even have to say a word, you just let him walk in and sit down, plating up some food for him.

You sit opposite and begin to eat, speaking about trivial things with him before he speaks up, "I don't expect you to understand me fully, but I need to find something, and I can't find it, and it's driving me mad."

"I can help-" you pipe in, but he just shakes his head, causing you to deflate, but you understood him in a way; you had things to do, personal missions to complete that you wouldn't want anyone to touch either. You clear your throat. "Well, if you ever need someone to help cheer you up or clear your mind, you can come here. If I can't help you with your mission, I want to at least help you after them." He smiles and looks at you, placing a star-shaped dumpling into your bowl and nods. "That'll be nice..."

Taglist: @61chai-tea @lueurjun @thebangtancloud @nawysstuff @phantom-astra

[andvys]

The edges of your soul (I haven't seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter eight

⭐︎ Dead-eyed. Dead weight.

Warnings: angst, angst, angst. hurt/comfort. sickness. mentions of death. post apocalypse au. grumpy x sunshine

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Something happens that had none of you prepared and the fear of loss creeps up on your group... once again.

Word count: 8.5k

Author's note: Please read !! @hellfire--cult helps with allllll my chapters, we planned this story together, from start to finish. A lot of the things that happen here, are her ideas and I just write them. She not only brainstormed with me, she also writes with me and by that I mean, she writes a lot of scenes, like in the last chapter for example, there is a huge portion that was written by Roe, not by me. So please keep in mind that she is behind this story as well, don't forget her! Give her the love and the credit she deserves ♡

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

It started off with a sneeze the night before and a scratchy feeling in your throat before the nausea took over. It then progressed into a painful cough accompanied by a headache. You knew it would happen the moment uncomfortable shivers started running down your body but you tried to blame it on the cold weather, at first at least. You knew it wasn’t the cold. It was the rain you and Steve got caught in two nights ago. 

Anxiety took over the second it dawned on you that a fever was rising up. You took some of the vitamin pills you found, hoping that they would help. They didn’t, of course. 

You are freezing, shaking terribly even after putting on a thicker sweater under your leather jacket. Your nose is starting to feel stuffy causing your head to hurt even more. Your hands are cold and shivering. Your head pounds a little harder each time Nancy hits a bump on the road. So far, you were good at hiding the state you were in until now – until it really started kicking in and you put your hand to your head after a particular big bump on the road. A wince falls from your lips and Steve, who sits across from you with a book in his hand, instantly looks up at you, alarmed and worried when he notices the pained look on your face. 

He lowers the book he is holding and places it on the bench he is sitting on. He furrows his eyebrows when he notices sweat coating your forehead and the trembling in your hand… the trembling in your whole body as his eyes scan you from head to toe. 

“Sunshine?” 

You don’t react. You place your palm against your forehead and lean back, clearing your throat before you break into a fit of coughs. Dry Coughs.��

Oh no.

Steve gets up and nearly crashes to his knees as he crouches down before you. He places a comforting hand on your calf as he speaks your name softly, not noticing how the RV has slowed down and how Nancy and Eddie share worried looks. 

“Are you okay?”

You sniffle quietly and push yourself up so you can straighten your back. You clear your sore throat and lick your lips that feel dryer than usual. You look down at him, noting the worry in his hazel eyes. 

You open your mouth but don’t even manage to utter a word before he cuts you off. 

“Don’t lie to me,” he warns as he glares into your eyes, making you cower back slightly.  

Nancy rushes into the back the moment she parks the RV on the side of the road. There is a deep line between her eyebrows and a frown sinking into her features as she halts beside Steve. She reaches her hand out to you and touches your forehead with the back of her hand. 

Steve looks up at her and sees the way her eyes widen. 

“You are burning up!” 

She already knew you weren’t feeling good, but she hoped that it was just a little cold and that it would pass in a few days after some rest, but instead, it got progressively worse over the past couple of hours. 

“Oh shit,” Eddie mumbles, bringing his hand up to his face. 

Steve and Nancy share a look, one filled with anxiety. And you don’t want that, you don’t want them to worry. You will be alright. You just need to rest. 

“I’m–” cut off by another painful cough. You shut your eyes as you cover your mouth and turn in the other direction, not wanting to get them sick as well. You blink back the tears that make their way into your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you look back at them. “I-I’ll be okay, just feeling a little under the weather.” 

“You’re not feeling under the weather, you are sick! Which isn’t a surprise at all considering you were running around in the cold fucking rain!” Nancy raises her voice as she glares at both you and Steve. “And we don’t have anything to treat you–”

“It’s just a cold, Nancy…” You reply weakly as you tug your jacket tighter around you. Sharing a look with Steve, you instantly look down again, not bearing to look into his eyes. “It’s gonna pass in a few days…” 

It didn’t. 

It didn’t pass. 

It kept getting worse. 

Worse and worse. 

Two days later, your whole body was aching. Your muscles were sore and your throat was dry. Coughing hurt, and your head was pounding. You tried to hold yourself together, to keep your head high and your back straight, to pretend to be okay so they didn’t have to worry but when the weakness hit, your eyes turned glassy and your lips blue, they could see that you were getting worse and there was no hiding that anymore. You couldn’t even if you tried, not after this morning, not after you nearly collapsed trying to get a glass of water. Luckily, Eddie was there to catch you.

Eddie and Nancy were worried, that was obvious. You were unaware of the fear in Steve’s eyes though, even now as he crouches down before you, touching your forehead with the back of his hand. 

He frowns deeply as he stares at you. Your blue lips are trembling, your eyes keep falling shut even when you try to keep them open. You are burning up and he knows that your fever is getting higher and higher. There is a light whistle in your throat as you keep taking deep breaths, struggling to do so. 

The feeling in his chest is sickening. He feels the bile rising up in his throat, nausea sinking in more and more after coming back empty-handed from his run into the nearest town. The pharmacy was empty, completely wiped clean. He couldn’t even find painkillers. 

It was the second pharmacy he tried his luck in. 

He was gone for two hours, and your state got worse in the meantime. 

Eddie is sitting on the bench, biting his fingernails as he stares at you. He’s not moving, he is just sitting there, watching you wide-eyed… like you had already left. 

Nancy is pacing back and forth with the map in her hand. Her eyebrows are furrowed strongly, her blue eyes showing nothing but stress. 

“Sunshine?” Steve whispers, brushing away the hair in your face. He winces at the hotness of your skin, he can’t imagine how bad you must be feeling right now. He moves his hands down to your blanket and brings it up higher, rubbing your arm over it. 

“Hmm?” You open your eyes and squint them when your vision blurs, and he appears twice before you. 

He places his hand on your forehead, cupping it. 

“How bad are you feeling right now?”

You’re not in control of your body, it’s too weak. You can’t push yourself up and convince him that you are feeling fine, not even if you tried. You can imagine what you look like right now. 

You clear your throat only to wince in pain at the soreness in you. 

“I’m… still hanging on.” Your voice is hoarse. Barely. You are barely holding on. You’re in and out of sleep, your body is feeling weaker as the hours go by, and you are not sure how much longer you can go without medicine. “Still hanging on, Stevie.” 

Your hand falls to his wrist, and he nearly flinches at the coldness of it. The sickness is spreading, claiming you entirely. It all happened too quickly. It happened in the blink of an eye. 

Your touch is usually so warm, now it’s icy cold. The look in your eyes is always filled with happiness; now it’s… it’s pained yet empty. Your energy, usually so contagious, is now barely there, gone… dead. 

The sickening realization begins to sink in the longer he looks at you. 

You came into his life so suddenly. You came out of nowhere. You stepped into it and shone a bright light into his greying life. He was wilting, like all the flowers in this world, until you came along and gave him what he needed; the sun. Only recently did he begin to see the good in things, even out here in this wasteland. He was trying to see the good. He was trying to look forward to things. He was trying to live. 

But now with you falling sick, he is already beginning to lose that part of himself once again. 

Will he lose you suddenly too? 

This is why he didn’t want to let you in. 

He let you in just to lose you again. 

He can’t let that happen, not again. 

“Keep hanging on for me, okay?” He whispers, shaking you a little. There is desperation in his voice and also in his eyes. 

Your mouth twitches, lips curling into a smile. You squeeze his wrist, even if weakly. 

“Always.” You whisper. 

Steve tries to smile, but it barely comes out as such. 

“Promise?” He leans closer, missing the warmth of you. 

You nod and hum softly. 

“Promise, Stevie.” 

He blinks a few times. The beating of his heart changes, becoming intense the longer he thinks about what will happen if he doesn’t find medicine in time. His chest starts to ache more and more. 

He won’t bear it. He won’t. 

“You will be okay,” he assures you, taking your hand into his own, he gives it a tight squeeze. “You hear me? I’m gonna get you some antibiotics and you will be okay again, sunshine.” 

Your eyelashes flutter as you look into his hazel eyes. Even through your haze, you can now see the worry in them, the fear. The fear of having to bury someone else. 

You take a deep breath and lick your lips. You rub your thumb against his knuckles, admiring the softness in his features. 

“Is that… worry I see on your face, Cowboy?” You manage to ask, chuckling softly. 

Eddie smiles behind Steve, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. He is worried, just as worried as Steve is. 

“Get some more sleep, okay?” Steve whispers as he adjusts the pillow beneath your head. 

Nancy takes another look at you. Not a single word falls from her lips, but her eyes say it all. She doesn’t want to lose another friend. She turns away and walks back to the driver's seat. She sits down and stares at the road with a blank look on her face. She takes a few deep breaths, trying to mend the fear that is building up in her. 

She looks into the rearview mirror, watching how Steve refuses to leave your side, even after tucking you in already. His body is tense, she can see it in his back and his shoulders. 

He cares about you. He is afraid to lose you – even if he won’t admit it out loud. 

She looks down at the map in the passenger seat, she grabs it and unfolds it. She goes over the areas you have marked up as safe. Steve had already gone through two of those towns and he came back empty handed. There is another that hasn’t been checked out yet, about ten miles down the road. 

She doubts that the pharmacy will be any different there. 

What worries her is the areas that have been marked as unsafe – the red areas. The big towns and the cities that are crawling with infected. She has a hunch that that is where they can find the medicine that you need, that is where they will have some sort of luck but it’s dangerous. Very dangerous. 

Even with her hunch, there is no guarantee that there will be any antibiotics or painkillers and even if, the chance to come back alive from a place crawling with the dead is zero to one. 

She looks back at Steve once more, she knows that he will want to try, she knows that he will try. 

But how will she let him, knowing that he will walk right into his death. 

She can’t lose you. She can’t lose him either. 

She can’t lose the both of you. 

So she hopes, she really hopes that the next safest town is where luck will be on your side. 

Eddie plops down in the passenger seat with a sigh. He turns to look at her, sharing the worry that is painted into her eyes. Nothing has to be said. They both feel the same thing. They both feel fear. They don’t want to experience another loss. They don’t want to feel the loss of you. 

Eddie takes the map from Nancy’s hands. He squints his eyes as he looks down at it, at the next destination. Another small town. 

Nancy can see the doubtful look on his face and the uncertainty in his eyes. She feels the same. 

“It’s worth a try.” She whispers, shrugging as she starts the RV. 

“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs as he sinks into his seat. “What if it turns out to be just like all the towns before though?” 

She shrugs but she knows the answer to that. She knows where to look. But she isn’t ready for that. She looks into the rearview mirror one more time, watching as Steve settles into the seat closest to you. There is worry in his features but there is also something else now. Determination. 

She breathes out shakily and holds the steering wheel tightly as she presses her foot onto the gas pedal. 

“I don’t know.”

-

Just like Nancy had suspected, Steve and Eddie came back empty handed after yet another unsuccessful run into a town. Two days have passed since then and your condition only worsened. 

She had tried her best to treat you with herbs, making you soup and tea. Keeping you warm with blankets and making sure that the RV wasn’t cold at any time. Though nothing was helping. 

Steve’s state wasn’t great either. He slept less than usual, ate less and was mostly on his feet when not in the RV. He was searching and searching. But the longer he went without finding you the things that you need, the more he grew sick with worry but also with anger. 

And it is showing now especially. 

The anger has taken hold of him completely. Disbelief and pure rage lingers in his usual hazel eyes, now they are dark with fury. 

Eddie stands beside Nancy, though he isn’t looking at the map spread on the hood of the RV or between them. He is busy looking down at the city before them. Red lightning curses over it, thunder rumbles in the sky and the earth beneath his feet shakes every few minutes. Chills run down his back. Red lightning is never a good sign. It means the affected city or town is infested with something, crawling with the dead. 

It’s unsafe. 

“We can’t go out there.” Nancy states, keeping her arms crossed. And it makes sense, it is stupid to go out there, dangerous. 

She knows there is no point in arguing with him. But she can’t let him do this. 

“This place is crawling with infected, with monsters and whatnot!” She snaps at him after a long moment of staring into his glaring eyes. “Look at it, Steve! Open your goddamn eyes!” 

With his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face, he glares at her. 

“My eyes are open, Nance. Are yours?” He snaps back, feeling the anger rush through his veins. “I don’t care what this place is crawling with, I don’t care what’s out there. I care about what’s in there!” He almost yells as he points at the closed door of the RV. “She’s sick and she is not getting any better. She won’t get better. She is barely hanging on!” 

Nancy clenches her jaw, faltering a little. 

He is right. 

You won’t get better, not without antibiotics. She is not a doctor and she doesn’t know for sure but given the fact that you got caught in the rain and spent all night stuck in a cold car, it has to be pneumonia. Your symptoms align with the sickness. And she remembers what Mike looked like when he had it a few years back, at least until he got the medicine that he needed. 

“How much longer does she have, huh?” Steve throws his hands up. He feels grateful that it’s anger leading his emotions now and not something else. 

Nancy turns away from him, closing her eyes, she pinches the bridge of her nose. Frustration bubbles up inside of her but also fear of what will happen in the next few days or even in the next few hours if you don’t get the help that you need. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Eddie mumbles, putting his hands up. He shakes his head at Steve. “Don’t.”

Steve scoffs as he turns to face him now. “Don’t what? Don’t speak the truth? You know I’m right, Munson. You know we have no other choice but to make that run. You don’t wanna go with me? Fine. I get it. But I am going–”

“No, you are not!” Nancy points her finger at him as she turns back around. “You are not making that run! It’s a death sentence! What good will it do to go in there?” She asks, pointing into the direction of the city. “You are not coming back. How is that gonna change anything?” 

Steve can’t believe what he is hearing, what he is seeing when he takes a look at Eddie. He looks uncertain, like he is agreeing with her. 

Disappointment fills his heart as he looks at his friends. 

“I survived Starcourt, I survived the upside down, I survived this world. What makes you think that I’m not capable of coming back alive from this?” 

He doesn’t care how he will do it, if he will have to fight his way through monsters or a hoard of infected. He doesn’t care if he will have to look all day if it means saving you. 

He feels responsible for what happened. He keeps telling himself that this could have been prevented. If he just set up camp like he planned to do, none of this would have happened. 

Seeing you like this now pains him and it reminds him of why he didn’t want to let you in, in the first place. He didn’t want to care. He didn’t want to like you. He didn’t want to have to worry again. The moment he started doing so, you were already tainted by his bad luck. You were already just another loss in his life. You were another temporary thing. 

But he can’t let that happen. He can’t lose you. Not now. 

They stay quiet. Both of them. It only fills him with an even deeper disappointment. 

“I can’t believe you… You cared so much back in Hawkins. What happened to that?” 

Eddie lifts his head, his eyebrows furrow in anger, his eyes flash with it too while Nancy looks down with a guilt ridden look on her face. 

“I care, alright? I care but Nancy is right, this out there… is a death sentence! We are walking straight into it and we might not come back!”

“We can fucking try!” Steve yells, not caring about keeping his volume down any longer. “I will try, I don’t give a damn about what you will do but I’m trying–”

“Don’t fight…” Your weak voice cuts in and Steve’s head instantly snaps towards you. You’re standing leaned against the doorway to the RV. A thin blanket is wrapped around your shoulders. Your hair is hanging loosely down your shoulders, no sign of a braid there like usual. You look worse than before. Your skin is losing its color. Your eyes look dull. Your face looks thinner. You look even sicker out here in the daylight. And it makes his chest ache terribly. “Don’t fight because of me.” 

You make your way down the steps on shaky and weak legs. 

Eddie holds his hand up towards you and Nancy uncrosses her arms as she eyes you worriedly. Steve instantly takes a step forward, already holding his hands up just in case. 

A cough breaks out of your mouth, causing your entire body to jolt in pain. You hold your hand up to your lips and clutch your stomach. Before you can even try to catch yourself, your knees buckle and you lose balance, nearing the ground as you fall. 

“Whoa!” Steve mumbles loudly as he reaches his arms out to you, sweeping them under your armpits and catching you before the fall. He lifts you up and hugs you to his chest. “You’re supposed to be in bed.” He grumbles into your ear. 

You sniffle, blinking away the tears that build up in your sensitive eyes. You can’t find it in yourself to fight him, to step away and stand on your own feet. You are weak. You hate it. 

“I don’t want you to fight because of me.” You repeat in desperation, lifting your head and looking up at him with your glassy eyes. 

This is why he didn’t want to care again. 

This hurts. 

The worry. The fear. The pain that takes over his heart from seeing you suffer. 

Your body feels weak against him. Your eyes are so… lifeless. He can’t bear it. He can’t. 

“Come on,” he whispers as he begins to lead you back into the RV. He wraps his arm around your waist and holds you tightly, helping you up the stairs. “Let’s get you back inside.” 

You comply but not without looking back at Nancy and Eddie one more time. You part your lips, wanting to say something but no words come from your mouth when you see the way they look at you. Like they are worried, like they are sick with fear, like they are already grieving. 

You blink. 

Even through the haze in your mind, you realize the look on their faces. They care. They care because you mean something to them. Because you are not only their companion now but also a friend. 

The tears that welled up in your eyes before were from physical pain, the ones now are emotional. For the first time in your life, you found people who see you as a friend. An actual friend. Not someone to use and toss away when you are no longer needed. They see you as their friend just like you see them too.

And of course you had to find them during the end of the world, getting closer and closer to them in the process, only to fall sick. It’s only a matter of time until you close your eyes for the last time. You can feel it. You can feel the sickness claiming you whole. You can feel death creeping up on you. This is just your luck. 

Steve leads you back to your bed and helps you back down. He grabs your legs gently and puts them on the mattress carefully before he tucks you in, making sure the pillow is comfortable and soft beneath your head. 

Even he started caring. Even he became your friend. 

You look at his face, at his features that were always so covered in anger and defensiveness when you first met him. Now they are soft. His hazel eyes are filled with sadness and it doesn’t help your case at all. 

A tear slips from your eyes and down your cheek. You try to lift your hand to wipe it away before he sees it but you are too slow. 

His eyebrows knit together and he places his hand on your shoulder. 

“What’s wrong? Did it get worse…? Are you–”

“I’m weighing you guys down,” you whisper, shakily. Your lips curl downwards as tears start falling freely. “Y-You were right. I am a nuisance. Now I am one.”

Anger bubbles up inside of him but also guilt for ever saying something like that about you. 

He shakes his head, squeezing your shoulder softly as he brings his other hand up to your cheek, wiping away the tears. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he glares at you. 

Your bottom lip wobbles and your chest heaves as you try to breathe. You clutch your blanket tightly. 

“It’s the truth… You already slowed down because of me and made unnecessary runs–”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done it too.”

You would. Of course you would. You would do anything for them. For him. 

You swallow and the scratchiness, the dryness in your throat makes you wince and causing more tears to build up in your eyes. You close them and try to take deep breaths. 

Whatever he is saying, you know that you are right. You are weighing them down and they – he is taking unnecessary risks just to help you. You will never forgive yourself if something happens to him while he is trying to save you. 

“Leave–” You pause when your voice cracks. You try to keep your composure, to keep breathing, to stop crying. You open your eyes again and look at him. “Leave me in the nearest house, I’ll be okay…”

Steve looks at you as though you had gone crazy. His eyes flash with disbelief as anger rushes through him. How dare you make him care only to give up so easily now? 

“We are not doing that.” It’s not his voice that sounds through the RV, it’s Eddie’s. He is looking at you just like Steve is, though with less anger and with more sadness.

Steve is starting to breathe heavily as the seriousness of this whole situation sinks in more and more. His heart beats a little faster. Desperation clings to him. 

“You have to… You are going off the main road for me,” you say with a heavy voice, looking between Eddie and Nancy, who now stands in the doorway too, shaking her head in disapproval. 

Steve pushes himself up, getting back on his feet. He runs his fingers through his hair and he pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to think, to think of a solution. 

Nancy pushes past him and kneels down before you. Her blue eyes are troubled, filled with emotions you can’t all read. She brings her hand up to your forehead, cupping it gently. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispers.

Steve looks down at you as he paces around. He can read you so well. You, you are usually so hopeful. Filled with life and the will to live and fight your way through this world. You are now ready to give up, to find a place to die. 

This is not what you want. This was never something that you wanted. This had always been something you were afraid of, you told him that before. You were afraid to die alone. You were afraid to lose your life before finding your way back home and seeing your family. 

Now you are right where you never wanted to be. 

“It does– My house, my address, it’s on my ID… so if you head there, tell my parents–”

“Shut up!” He yells, exploding. He can’t do this. He can’t listen to you talk like this. He can’t watch you giving up. 

You flinch a little, staring wide eyed at him but with eyes still glassy like before. Nancy looks down while Eddie eyes him, scanning his face and the look in his eyes. 

Steve clenches his jaw, pointing his finger at you as he breathes heavily. 

“I– We are not leaving you!” He snaps at you, holding back his own tears. “Get that through that thick head of yours. We are not leaving you.” 

He gives you another pointed look before he snatches the map out of Eddie’s hand and makes his way over to the driver’s seat, where neither Eddie nor Nancy can see him. He plops down and opens the map but his breathing is so heavy and his eyes burn so hotly that he can’t focus on it. 

He leans back and closes his eyes, he swallows the lump in his throat. This moment reminds him of what he lost. This reminds him of what could have been if he just handled in time. This feels like he is living through it all once again and it kills him.

He made mistakes before. He won’t do them again. He won’t experience another loss. He won’t let anything take away from him again. 

Never again.

-

It’s silent and peaceful. The RV has never been quieter than this. It’s dark inside, except for the small candle burning on the table he is sitting at. The fire outside where Nancy and Eddie sit around, isn’t large enough to shine through the windows. They had to keep it low to avoid unwanted attention from the city nearby. Monsters and infected probably don’t come out this far, but it’s always better to be safe. 

He is staring at his backpack, at the nailed bat that has accompanied him for years now. He is tapping his finger against the counter, fighting an inner battle as his eyes flicker back and forth between you, his backpack and the red lightning in the distance. 

He knows what he has to do. 

It’s quiet. Too quiet. 

He leans his body in your direction, squinting his eyes as he looks at you, trying to see better in the darkness. 

His heart leaps a little the longer he watches you. You aren’t moving. At all. Your chest isn’t rising up and down anymore. It looks like you stopped… breathing. 

“No…” He whispers as he gets back on his feet, swallowing the growing nausea as he looks at your pale face. He feels like throwing up already, his heart is racing in his chest as he crouches down before you. He whispers your name, once… twice… 

“Sunshine?” Steve whispers shakily as he brings his hand up to your face. 

“Still here…” You manage to croak out. Your lashes flutter when you open your eyes as best as you can. 

His head hangs low for a moment as his eyes close and he takes a deep breath. His hand moves down to your wrist and then to your hand, he holds it softly. 

Thank god. 

“I’m still here, Cowboy.” You whisper before your eyes fall shut again and sleep begins to lull you back in again. 

Still. You are still here. 

He knows what he has to do. He knows what he will do. 

He tilts his head up again, watching how you take slow and weak breaths. But you are still here. 

He is determined, desperate. He moves closer to you, running his fingers through your hair, he tucks it away and out of your face. He caresses your cheek, feeling his heart long, feeling it ache for something else entirely – though he pushes it aside… for now… or for always. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Sunshine. I promise. You hear me?” 

You only hum in response. 

“Just hang on for me, okay? Hang on.” Steve whispers as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. A kiss you barely feel. A kiss you will forget. 

He gets back up and puts his jacket on, no longer caring about Eddie’s and Nancy’s plans. Time is running out. Time that you don’t have. He won’t sit here and watch you wilt. He won’t sit here while you die. He won’t let that happen. Never again. So he grabs his backpack and Nancy’s rifle that she left inside the RV after swapping it for your gun. 

He looks through the blinds on the window, making sure that neither of them will come in when he slips out but they seem to be in a deep conversation. They won’t notice. 

Steve turns around to face you one more time. His soft eyes stay on you for a second. His heart pounds in his chest, his body fills with adrenaline at what he is about to do. 

You will be okay. He will make sure of that. 

He will fix this again. 

“I’ll be back soon, Sunshine.” He promises and he prays to whatever is above to protect you, to make you hold on a little longer. He wishes he had something to keep you safe with. 

Steve falters in his step when he remembers the hair tie around his wrist. He looks down at it, at the lilac colored hair tie that belonged to his best friend. It’s old. Back from the Family Video days. Robin always forgot to grab extra hair ties or clips and would then complain about her hair getting into her face and being unable to tie it back. At one point he bought a package of hair ties and would put one around his wrist until it needed to be used. The lilac one was her favorite. 

He traces it before he takes it off his wrist. He tiptoes back to you and he picks up your wrist gently, placing the hair tie around it. He holds your wrist for a moment, tapping it softly. 

He never believed in things like this, but maybe it’s a good idea to start now. 

“Keep her safe for me,” he whispers to her.

Steve squeezes your hand reassuringly before he turns around and slips away from you and out of the RV. 

-

The wood in the fire crackles, the wind blows through the trees around the place they set up camp in. The red lightning in the distance isn’t close enough to illuminate the sky above them but it keeps flashing in their peripheral vision. 

Eddie is staring into the fire. He is quiet unlike usual. 

Nancy doesn’t mind the silence but it feels odd not to hear his voice. She feels the tension radiating off him. She feels it herself. 

A stack of books lies on the grass beside her feet. Books about herbs, about natural remedies for sicknesses. But everything she tried helping you with was to no avail. Not the eucalyptus teas nor the peppermint. You need antibiotics and fever reducers. Steve is right. 

“I was thinking…” Eddie finally speaks up after hours of silence between them. Since they sat down to do night watch, they haven’t talked at all. Nancy was too immersed in reading the books beside her while Eddie had scanned the map over and over, and tried to come up with a plan. 

Nancy looks up from the book, cocking her eyebrow in question. 

He straightens in his seat, pressing his hands together as he leans forward, not looking away from the fire yet. 

“I’m making the run into the city come morning,” he states, determined. “Those books won’t help,” he points at the ones she has read through already. “And we can’t rely on the smaller towns ahead of us.”

She opens her mouth to speak but Eddie holds his hand up at her and finally looks into her eyes. 

“Small towns are usually safe, they’re not crawling with infected or monsters as much as big cities are. People like us, survivors go for places like these. They avoid that,” he mumbles,  pointing his thumb into the direction where the city lies. “It’s crawling with fucking everything, so people won’t even try to get in there, which means we have the best chance at finding stuff there. Everything that she needs, antibiotics, pain killers, fever reducers.”

Nancy’s shoulders slump. Her eyebrows knit together as she looks at the RV. 

He is right, just like Steve is. 

He is right and she knows it's what needs to be done. 

She nods slowly, closing the book in her hand, she throws it on the ground. Leaning back into her camping chair, she looks into the fire. 

“Okay,” Nancy whispers, accepting the danger he is about to face. She is about to face. She won’t let you die.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, tilting his head down a little as his brown eyes scan her face. 

She nods again and looks up at him. 

“Yeah, but I’m going with you.” 

He doesn’t protest. He works best with her. 

“In and out, easy… right?” Eddie chuckles, though his heart skips a nervous beat. 

Her lip twitches, curling into a small smile as she looks at the guy who became her closest friend. Her best friend. 

“Easy.” 

He takes a deep breath and nods to himself. He looks up at the sky. 

“Sun is gonna rise soon,” he comments as he looks at the faint light behind the clouds. 

“Yeah.” 

He gets up with a sigh, “I’m gonna go tell Steve.” 

“Alright.” Nancy gives him a tight lipped smile. 

He turns around and starts making his way towards the stairs of the RV. He reaches his hand out to grab the handle. One step closer and he halts in his tracks when the sound of rustling makes him freeze. 

A cold shudder runs down his spine when he turns back around. His eyes instantly lock with Nancy’s. Her blue eyes are troubled and she instantly pushes herself up, grabbing your gun from her belt. 

“Whoa,” Eddie whispers, making his way back to her side after he grabs the axe he left on the ground. 

“Could be an animal,” Nancy murmurs as she scans the area. She ignores the beating of her heart. 

She parked the RV right next to a big forest, making sure that it was hidden behind trees and bushes, now it doesn’t seem to be the best idea as she looks around trying to spot the culprit who caused the noises. 

Eddie squints his eyes, grabbing the handle of the axe tighter as he steps in front of her. 

“It better be.” He mumbles nervously. He doesn’t want to get caught by an infected or a demo– something. 

He feels his heart in his throat when he sees the figure descending out from behind the bushes, pushing its way out onto the field and in his and Nancy’s direction. 

“Fuck…” 

Nancy swallows. She clicks the safety off on the gun and brings it up a little, not aiming yet. 

“Infected or Human?” 

Eddie shrugs as he scans the way the figure carries themselves, the steps and the posture. 

“What’s worse?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at her. 

Nancy lifts one shoulder as she straightens her back, ready to take the shot if needed. 

“You do know that if we shoot, everything that might be around will get drawn in by the noise…”

“I know,” Nancy sighs, cursing inwardly for not looking for silencers before. “It’s not an infected… it’s–”

“Put the gun down, Nance.” 

“Steve!?” Eddie and Nancy gasp in unison. 

He speeds up his movements once Nancy holsters her gun again and Eddie drops the axe. They don’t even manage to take in the sight of him, to take in the state he is in. He brushes past them so quickly, heading into the RV like he can’t waste a single second to get to you. His backpack is clinking loudly. He throws open the door and rushes in. 

Eddie’s confused face meets Nancy’s, they share a look before they follow him inside. 

They both notice how fast and loudly he is breathing as he sets the rifle down, leaning it against the wall. He hurries into the back of the RV, throwing off his backpack carefully as he sets it down on the ground beside the bed you are lying in. 

Steve drops to his knees before you, not even giving that moment to himself to breathe, to calm down. He spent hours feeling on edge, worrying about you, worrying about making it out alive. And he ran, he ran all the way from the city to here, not stopping for a second, not stopping to catch his breath or look back to make sure that nothing was following. He just needed to get to you. That’s all that mattered to him, he didn’t care about anything else. 

He places his hand on your shoulder, shaking you softly. 

“Sunshine?” He whispers as he brings his other hand up to your cheek, tapping it gently. “You with me?” 

A grumble falls from your mouth. You shift on the bed as you wake up slowly. Your eyelashes flutter as you blink, opening your eyes after a few seconds. 

Steve’s shoulders slump in relief, and he breathes out a loud sigh. He closes his eyes for a moment. He takes a deep breath before he opens his eyes again and gets into action. He grabs his backpack and zips it open, taking out the medicine he found inside of a hospital. 

Nancy stares at him, watching as he takes out one bottle after another.

“What–”

“You went out there by yourself?” Eddie snaps at him. 

And if you weren’t so weak and delirious, you would have been surprised at the anger in his tone and in his eyes. 

Steve ignores them both. He ignores everything, even the injuries he came back with. He clenches his jaw. Taking out the antibiotics and the tylenol, he drops them on the bedside table before he gets up and makes his way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and wash his hands before giving you the medicine. 

He doesn’t even spare them a look. 

“Are you crazy, Steve?” Nancy asks, crossing her arms over her chest as she inspects the dirt on his face, the blood dripping from the fresh wound on his cheek and one over his eyebrow. 

“You could have died, man!” Eddie throws his hands up, glaring at his friend who glares back at him. 

“She could have fucking died!” Steve yells, throwing his finger into your direction. He blinks in anger as he makes his way back to you. A huff falls from his lips, angry at his friends still. 

He is tired and exhausted from hiding and running all night, from having to crawl on the ground to stay hidden from monsters and infected. A few infected still managed to creep up on him, and two or three demobats caused the wounds on his face. But he is fine. He is fine now. 

They both fall quiet behind him, watching how he tends to you. 

He places the glass on the table and leans down, scooping his arm under your back, “c’mon, you need to get up for a second.”

You don’t protest, but you are weak, and you would not be able to get back up by yourself. You squint your eyes as you look at him. Your mind is still in a haze and everything is confusing to you at this moment but you see the dirt and the blood on his face. The messy hair and the exhausted look in his features. 

“What happened?” 

“Don’t worry about it now,” he whispers. 

Steve grabs the antibiotics, taking out a pill. He places it into the palm of your hand, “here, take it.” He mumbles and reaches for the glass of water. 

He helps you bring your hand up to your lips, you put the pill in your mouth and take a sip of the water he holds out to you, swallowing it. You repeat the motion when he hands you one of the painkillers. 

He watches you carefully. Wiping away the drop of water that runs down your chin and tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Thank you,” you whisper softly when you pull away from him, eyes dropping from the tiredness again. 

Steve’s eyes soften when you try to smile at him, even now, even when you feel like absolute shit. 

“Anytime, honey.” He promises. The nickname falling from his lips so naturally. 

He helps you back down and tucks you in again, just like he did before, just like he did all the days leading up to this moment. His eyes fall on the hair tie. He leaves it there. 

Nancy and Eddie look at each other, their anger fleeting away more and more. Relief filling them instead but also still fear… for him now too. 

“There’s… I got a bunch of stuff,” Steve explains as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Nance, can you place an IV for her? I got one of those bags but I don’t know how–”

She nods, “yeah… yeah, of course. But your wounds need–”

“I’m fine. Just a cut…” He murmurs tiredly as he gets up, walking away and towards the couch. 

Eddie huffs at his friend when he brushes past him. He can’t help but slap him over his head. 

Steve flinches, squinting his eyes at him.

“For being a moron,” Eddie glares. “I would have gone with you, man.”

Steve shakes his head, scoffing softly as he plops down on the couch. He grunts in pain when he takes off his jacket, throwing it on the ground. His eyes start dropping suddenly as the tiredness hits fully. 

“I was sneaky… stealthy like a ninja.” 

Eddie raises his eyebrows at the comment that reminds him of who he once used to be. 

“Didn’t even have to kill a thing… and now… I will sit here and I will see if she…” he slurs, eyes falling shut slowly. He mumbles your name before he passes out completely. 

Eddie stares at him for a moment, noticing the cut on his arm and the blood dripping down from the wound. 

“Stealthy like a ninja my ass,” Eddie snorts. He takes his own jacket off and pushes the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows, ready to tend to his wounds. 

-

His muscles are sore, aching in every spot in his body but his arms and legs especially. The cut on his arm strains against his skin, making him wince in pain when he stretches both arms out. A grunt leaves his lips as he peaks his eyes open when the sunlight hits his face. 

He draws back in confusion when he looks down at the sheets covering his body, at the big window next to the bed. There isn’t one behind the couch. This isn’t where he fell asleep last night. 

Steve presses his palms against the sheets beneath him, he pushes himself up and turns his head. His eyes widen in surprise when he finds you next to him, sitting up and looking right at him. A weak smile gracing your lips. 

It takes him a moment to move. The words get caught in his throat when his heart skips a beat. The golden light of the sun kisses your face so softly, bringing out all the specks of colors in your eyes and the undertone in your hair that frames your face so prettily right now. You rarely wear it open, it’s always in one or two braids. He likes it like this. A lot. 

You look so much better than the night before. The circles under your eyes are still there but your face has taken on a little color again and you can sit up straight once more. 

“Hey…” Your whisper pulls him out of his stupor. He blinks a few times before he finally pushes himself up, reaching his arm out to you, he notices the bandage around his bicep and he realizes that Eddie must have taken care of his wounds before he carried him over to the bed to sleep next to you. 

Heat creeps up to his cheeks and he blushes a little. 

“A-Are you okay?” He whispers, placing his hand on your back. “Shit… what time is it?” He looks down at his watch, needing to make sure that you get your dose of medicine every eight hours. 

You take his hand, filling him with even more relief when he feels the warmth in it again. 

“I’m better.” 

Steve looks away from his wrist and back up at you. Hazel eyes shining with hope. 

“Yeah?” He leans closer, keeping his hand on you. 

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip and nod, blinking as your eyes grow sensitive. 

“Mhmm.”

You woke up confused this morning. Your body felt sore, and your throat still ached but you felt better, so much better. You didn’t understand why at first, not until you noticed him lying next to you, facing you. You remembered then what had happened the night before. How he gave you the medicine, how dirty he was, how wounded he was. 

He went out there for you. He went into the city to get you medicine, to save you. 

Steve risked his life for you. 

Steve who seemed so cold at first. Steve who didn’t want you around at first. Steve who you thought didn’t care about you. 

No one ever did that for you. No one ever cared enough to even do the littlest thing for you. 

But he went out there, knowing that he could have died trying to save you. 

It tugs at your heartstrings to know that he cares about you enough to do this. It warms your chest. It makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe. 

Steve creeps into your heart more and more every day and you can no longer lie to yourself or deny the feelings that grow for him. 

You eye the mess on his head, the wild hair. The tiredness in his eyes. The wound he caught for you. You lift your hand up to his cheek, tracing his skin with your finger. 

His lips curl upwards, his eyes flicker with something you can’t read. 

You lean closer to him and close your eyes. You press your lips against his shoulder, giving it a soft peck. 

“Thank you,” you whisper and look up at him. 

Steve can see what flashes in your eyes. He knows what you are thinking, what you are feeling and it makes his heart ache. 

He would do it again. Again and again. 

No words leave his mouth but his actions speak louder. He wraps his arms around you and he pulls you into his embrace, hugging you softly. 

You accept the hug instantly, grabbing his shirt, you press your cheek against his chest and let yourself fall into him and it doesn’t take you a minute, not even a second to understand why it feels so warm, why it feels so right. 

This is more than just attraction. 

This is more than what you thought it was. 

And it scares you. 

But you are not the only one scared, he is too. When he wraps his arms around you tighter and he presses his lips to the top of your head, he feels his heart warming in his chest when you curl into him. 

Steve feels the urge to not let go, to keep you in his embrace, to keep you safe, to protect you. 

But not like his other friends, no, he wants to protect you in a different way. 

And that scares him too. Especially because he had never felt anything like this before. Never. 

☀︎

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @pretentious-blonde @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk @xxladymjxx

[inseobts]

Hey, hope you’re doing good. I know you have many request but I have an idea.

Reader is the "sister" of Ace, Sabo and Luffy. Reader disappeared after Sabos death and years later, after Aces death, Luffy met her in the new world and he is so happy that she’s alive.

Maybe Reader has a devil fruit power that let her body turn into fabric and can make it harder so softer to fight enemies

Luffy’s ‘sister’

luffy x reader (platonic I guess)

a/n: I wrote it thinking it happens after the time-skip and before dressrosa arc. Also I didn't know if you wanted it to be platonic or not so I tried to stay in the middle + some talks about Ace and Sabo to make it emotional but also funny.

tags: post-timeskip, asl's sister, memories, humor

words count: 3.1k

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

“Captain! There’s a ship up ahead!” Usopp shouts, peering through his scope “It’s not attacking, but… there’s someone standing on the mast!”

Luffy’s eyes narrow. A lone figure stands tall against the wind, their long coat billowing like a flag. He squints, and for a second, his breath catches.

No way.

Before anyone can react, the figure leaps from the mast. They’re coming straight for them.

Zoro reaches for his swords, but Luffy throws out an arm “Wait!” His voice shakes. The others hesitate, Luffy never sounds like this.

The person lands gracefully on the deck, boots tapping softly against the wood. The wind carries their voice as they straighten.

“It’s been a long time… Luffy.”

His world tilts. He knows that voice. That face. His heart slams against his ribs.

“Y/N??” His voice cracks as he shouts your name.

The crew watches in shock as their captain rushes forward, arms flailing. Before you can react, he crashes into you, hugging you tight.

“I thought you were gone!” Luffy shouts into your shoulder, his grip like iron “You disappeared! After Sabo—” His voice stumbles, raw and unguarded.

You tense at the names, but slowly raise a hand to his back, patting him “I didn’t die, Luffy.”

“But you weren’t there!” He pulls back, eyes glistening “Why did you leave like that? Why didn’t you come back?!”

You sigh, fingers curling slightly “Because I wasn’t strong enough.”

“That’s stupid!” Luffy exclaims, pouting “We needed you!”

Before you can answer, Zoro clears his throat “Uh, Luffy, mind explaining?”

You glance at the swordsman, then at the rest of the crew “Oh… right. I guess you guys don’t know me.”

Luffy grins, though there’s still a hint of sadness in his eyes. He turns to his crew, beaming “This is Y/N! My sister!”

“WHAT?!” Nami, Usopp, and Chopper yell at the same time.

“Not by blood,” you correct, crossing your arms “Ace, Sabo, and Luffy—” Your voice falters just slightly “We swore to be siblings when we were kids.”

Robin watches you carefully “Then why have we never heard of you?”

You don’t answer immediately. Your fingers twitch, and a thread unravels from your sleeve, dancing between your fingers.

“I disappeared,” you finally say “After Sabo’s ship was destroyed, I—I lost it. I ran. And then when Ace...”

Luffy flinches, and you stop. The air between you is heavy.

“Anyway,” you clear your throat, rolling your shoulders “I got stronger. And now I’m here.”

Sanji steps forward, eyes softened despite the cigarette between his lips “You survived all this time alone?”

“Not alone,” you smirk “I had my own crew for a while. And my devil fruit helped.”

Before anyone can ask, your body shifts. Your arms ripple, turning into woven fibers, flowing like silk before hardening like steel. You smirk “I ate the Nuno Nuno no Mi. I can turn my body into fabric, make it soft, hard, anything I need to fight.”

Franky whistles “That’s super cool!”

You chuckle, but then Luffy suddenly grabs your shoulders. His grin is wide, bright, filled with something he hasn’t felt in years.

“You’re here,” he says, voice full of relief “You’re really here.”

Your breath hitches. You never thought you’d see that smile again, not aimed at you. Not after everything.

But here he is. And something deep inside you, something broken, starts to mend.

“Yeah,” you murmur “I’m here, Luffy.”

And for the first time in years, you let yourself believe it.

Luffy doesn’t let go. His grip is strong, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he loosens up even a little.

You sigh “Luffy, I need to breathe.”

He finally steps back, laughing “Oops. But I still can’t believe it! You’re alive!”

The crew watches closely, their curiosity thick in the air. Nami crosses her arms “Okay, so you’re Luffy’s ‘sister.’ But why are you here now?”

You hesitate. You’ve had plenty of time to think about what to say, but now that you’re here, nothing comes out easily.

“I heard about what happened.” Your voice is quieter now “To Ace.”

Luffy’s smile falters, and the ship falls silent. The crew shifts uncomfortably, all of them stealing glances at their captain.

Your hands clench into fists “I wasn’t there for him.”

Luffy’s expression darkens, but he shakes his head “It wasn’t your fault.”

You let out a bitter chuckle “That’s funny, coming from you.”

His jaw tightens, but before he can say anything, you push forward “I looked for you after Marineford. I heard you were alive, but by the time I tracked you down, you were already gone. Off training, I guess.”

“So you’ve been looking for him this whole time?” Robin asks.

“Not exactly,” you admit “I had my own things to take care of. But when I heard the Straw Hats were back in the New World… well, I figured it was time.”

Luffy tilts his head “Time for what?”

You sigh, rubbing the back of your neck “To come back. To fight alongside you.”

For a moment, Luffy just stares. Then, his face splits into the biggest grin.

“That’s awesome! You should join my crew!”

The words hit you like a punch.

Your mind pulls you back, years and years ago. Four kids, sitting in the woods, dreaming of the future.

“I’m gonna be King of the Pirates!” Luffy had shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

Ace had smirked “Then I’ll be the one to make sure no one beats you.”

Sabo had laughed “I’ll see the whole world first. Every inch of it!”

And you had thrown your arms up, puffing out your chest “Then I’m gonna be the strongest and most beautiful pirate captain ever! The most beautiful and powerful woman that no man can defeat!”

The boys had groaned at your declaration, but you had been serious. You wanted to stand among the greatest, make a name for yourself, lead your own crew.

But after Sabo’s death, that dream had faded. You let yourself forget it, bury it deep. You lost sight of what you wanted.

Yet here Luffy is, standing in front of you, still believing in his dream like nothing had ever changed.

And somehow, that makes you smile.

“I haven’t decided yet,” you say honestly “But I’ll stick around for a while.”

Luffy pumps his fist in the air “That’s good enough for me!”

Zoro steps forward, eyeing you critically “If you’re going to be traveling with us, I want to know what you can do. A devil fruit alone doesn’t mean you can keep up.”

Your lips curl into a smirk “You want to test me, swordsman?”

Zoro’s hand rests on Wado Ichimonji’s hilt “I want to make sure you won’t be dead weight.”

Luffy laughs “A fight! Yeah, let’s see what you got, Y/N!”

You crack your knuckles “Fine. Let’s take this to the deck.”

Within minutes, the crew forms a rough circle around you and Zoro. You stretch your arms, fabric threads extending from your sleeves before retracting.

Zoro rolls his shoulders “You ready?”

You grin “Always.”

The moment the words leave your mouth, he vanishes. Fast. But you’ve fought swordsmen before.

You twist, your body unraveling into woven strands as his blade slices through where your torso should be. He lands behind you, eyes narrowing at your now fabric-like form.

“Interesting” he mutters.

You re-solidify and whip your arm forward, threads shooting out like a whip. He blocks with his sword, but the force pushes him back.

Sanji whistles “Not bad.”

Zoro lunges again, this time faster. You harden your right arm, making it as dense as wood, and block his strike. But you misjudge his strength. His blade slices clean through, cutting your arm right off at the elbow.

Chopper gasps “Zoro! You cut her arm!”

But you don’t even flinch. Instead, the severed fabric of your arm ripples and knits itself back together, new threads forming until your arm is as good as new.

“Nice try” you tease, flexing your fingers.

Zoro’s eyes flash with interest “Huh. So that’s how it works.”

Before either of you can move again, Luffy jumps between you, laughing “Okay, okay! You’re strong! Zoro, she wins!”

Zoro scoffs but doesn’t argue. He sheathes his sword “You’ll do.”

Luffy throws an arm around your shoulders, grinning “Then it’s settled! Y/N is sailing with us!”

You shake your head but don’t push him off. For the first time in years, something feels right.

Maybe this is where you’re meant to be.

The next few days aboard the Sunny feel… strange. Familiar and unfamiliar all at once.

Luffy drags you around, introducing you to every part of the ship as if you’re not already well aware of how a crew operates. You humor him anyway.

Chopper asks you a million questions about your devil fruit. Franky gushes over how “super” your ability is. Brook tells you a story that somehow turns into a song. Sanji cooks you meals that make your stomach ache with nostalgia.

At night, you sit alone on the deck, staring at the stars. You remember sitting like this with Ace, Sabo and Luffy, talking about the future, making stupid promises.

“You’re thinking about them, aren’t you?”

You glance over. Luffy is sitting beside you, his usual grin absent. His expression is quiet, thoughtful.

You sigh “Yeah.”

A long silence stretches between you. Then—

“I miss them too.”

Your chest tightens. Luffy isn’t good with words when it comes to things like this, but the way he says it, the raw honesty in his voice, hits you harder than anything else.

“I wish I could’ve been there for Ace,” you admit “I wish I could’ve helped.”

Luffy shakes his head “Ace wouldn’t want that. He did what he wanted. Just like Sabo.”

The name makes your throat tighten. The last time you saw him, he was setting out on that boat. You were kids. You never got to say goodbye.

“Do you ever wonder if things would be different?” you ask quietly.

Luffy looks up at the sky, thinking. Then, he grins “Nah. Because I’m still gonna be King of the Pirates!”

You blink at him, then let out a small chuckle “You really haven’t changed, huh?”

“Nope!” He grins wider, stretching his arms behind his head “Back then, we all had our own dreams, right? Ace wanted to make sure no one beat me, Sabo wanted to see the world, and you—”

He turns to you, his grin turning softer.

“You wanted to be the strongest and most beautiful pirate captain ever.”

Your breath catches. You haven’t thought about that in so long.

Luffy leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees “And y’know what? You already did it.”

You stare at him “What?”

“You’re still a captain, even if you don’t have a crew right now. And you’re already the strongest and most beautiful woman pirate I know!”

Your face heats up, and you smack his arm lightly “Idiot. You don’t just say stuff like that.”

“But it’s true!” Luffy laughs “You didn’t give up, Y/N. You’re still out here, still fighting. That means your dream is still real.”

His words settle deep in your chest. You lost sight of that dream for so long, let yourself forget it after Sabo’s death. But hearing it from Luffy…

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe your dream never really died.

You exhale, a small smile tugging at your lips “Yeah. Maybe it is.”

Luffy grins “Then let’s keep going together!”

You laugh, shaking your head “You really don’t let things go, do you?”

“Nope!”

You roll your eyes, but something in you feels lighter.

The next morning, the crew is gathered around the deck, eating breakfast. Luffy, as always, is stuffing his face like he hasn’t eaten in weeks.

You sit next to him, sipping your drink when he suddenly smacks the table “Oh yeah! I should tell you guys some stories about when we were kids!”

You nearly choke “Luffy—”

But it’s too late. The crew is already interested.

“Oh? This sounds fun” Robin says with a knowing smile.

“Yes, tell us more about our dear Y/N!” Brook laughs “Embarrassing stories, if you have them!”

You glare at Luffy, silently warning him to shut up. He ignores you completely.

“Okay, okay, so there was this one time Y/N lost a bet and had to marry one of us!” Luffy announces proudly.

You drop your cup “Luffy, shut up!”

“Wait, what?!” Nami and Usopp both exclaim.

Sanji nearly chokes on his cigarette “Marry?! Who?!”

Luffy grins mischievously, pointing his thumb at himself “Me!”

You groan, burying your face in your hands “I hate you.”

The crew erupts into laughter.

“Wait, wait,” Franky says between chuckles “How did this even happen?”

Luffy leans back, grinning ear to ear “So we were playing this game, and Y/N lost as always. Ace said the loser had to marry one of us for the day.”

“Ace was the priest” you mutter, shaking your head.

“And Sabo was the one crying like a proud parent” Luffy adds “Like, real tears! He was all, ‘No! Y/N, you're too young for this!’”

Usopp is wheezing “He actually cried?!”

“Yeah!” Luffy nods enthusiastically “I don’t even know if he was faking it or not, but it was so funny!”

You groan “I wanted to punch every single one of them so bad, but Ace said it was against the ‘sacred marriage rules.’”

Zoro smirks, raising a brow “So, did you two actually go through with it?”

Luffy shrugs “Yeah! I even made her a ring out of leaves.”

“And then I threw it at his face, and he started crying like a baby, so Ace had to end the act.” you grumble.

The crew bursts into laughter again. Even you can’t help but smile a little.

“Man,” Luffy sighs, looking up at the sky “We were so dumb back then.”

“You still are” you retort.

He laughs “Yeah, but it was fun, right?”

You pause, thinking back to those carefree days in the forest. Even with all the fights, the chaos, the stupid dares, you wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

“Yeah,” you admit with a small smile “It was.”

Luffy grins wider, shoving more food into his mouth.

The conversation shifts, but as the crew laughs and jokes around, you can’t help but feel a warmth in your chest.

Then suddenly Zoro smirks, arms crossed “So, she’s not your sister but your wife?”

Silence.

Then—

“EH?!” Usopp nearly spits out his drink.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” you yell at the same time.

Luffy tilts his head “Huh? But she’s my sister.”

Brook chuckles “Well, technically, if you were married, wouldn’t that make her your—”

“NO!” you cut in before he can finish that cursed sentence.

Sanji slams his hands on the table, looking like he’s about to explode “Luffy, you idiot! You were married to such a beautiful lady, and you didn’t even treat it like a sacred bond?!”

“It was a joke, you idiot!” you snap.

Luffy just laughs, completely unfazed “Yeah! It was just for a day! She couldn’t be my wife for real anyway, she actually had feelings for Ace.”

Dead silence again.

Then—

“WHAT?!”

Your eyes widen as your face heats up “I did what?!”

Luffy nods confidently “Yeah! I'm not that stupid... You totally liked Ace, right? I mean, you always got flustrated when he teased you. And you looked all shy and stuff whenever he did something nice for you.”

You freeze, blinking at him in utter disbelief “Luffy, what are you talking about?!”

Luffy grins, oblivious to the red creeping up your neck “Well, yeah! You were always blushing around him, and when Ace told you he’d protect you, you got all embarrassed and smiled like you were secretly happy.”

Your eyes twitch as you realize what he’s saying “Luffy, that was just because Ace was a big annoying idiot!”

Luffy tilts his head, thinking it over “Hmm… Well, maybe it wasn’t exactly that. But you definitely cared a lot about him!”

You rub your temples, trying to keep your cool “I did care about Ace, but NOT like that!”

The crew watches, barely containing their laughter as Luffy’s words continue to spiral.

Luffy isn’t fully convinced “But you were always jealous when he’d hang out with Sabo, you wanted to be with him all the time.”

You stare at him in disbelief “What?!”

“Yeah! I thought you were just mad ’cause you wanted Ace to spend more alone time with you!”

You grit your teeth, ready to explode when suddenly, Robin, who has been quietly listening, raises her hand and looks at you with a knowing smile.

“Ohhh! So you liked Sabo!”

You freeze.

“Eh?” Luffy tilts his head in confusion.

Robin’s expression remains calm as she leans forward, explaining “Yeah, from what Luffy is saying you always seemed a little flustered when Ace teased you, but not because of him, it was because Sabo was watching, right?”

Your heart skips a beat as you realize the implication. The room goes quiet. The crew looks between Robin and you as the pieces start to fall into place.

“What do you mean?” Usopp asks, his voice shaky, as if he’s starting to understand.

Robin continues, her eyes twinkling “When Ace said he would protect you, you didn’t get flustered because you liked him. It was because you wanted Sabo be the one to protect you, not Ace.”

Your face burns “I—I didn’t like him like that!”

Luffy blinks, completely oblivious “Huh? I always thought you were shy around Ace because you liked him.”

You fight the urge to bury your face in your hands “No! I didn’t!”

But as the crew starts piecing Luffy’s stories and your reactions together, you realize they’ve started to connect the dots. Robin did a good job analysing is all. Yet Luffy never caught on.

Franky scratches his head, still a little confused but grinning “So, wait, you liked Sabo the while marrying Luffy?”

“NO!” You practically shout, flailing your arms “I—”

Luffy, ever the oblivious one, just laughs “Heh, it’s okay, Y/N. It happens to everyone! I mean, you liked Sabo? It’s cool!”

Your embarrassment grows tenfold “Luffy, I swear—”

The crew is in full-on teasing mode now, and you just want to hide. Sanji’s voice cracks as he dramatically falls to his knees “Sabo, you lucky one…”

You finally give up. You collapse into your seat, covering your face with both hands “I hate all of you. We all were just kids… I was just a dumb kid with a dumb crush for a dumb kid...”

Despite your frustration, a small smile sneaks onto your face. This was ridiculous, but it felt… kind of good. Having these memories out in the open, even the embarrassing ones, made you feel like you were truly home again.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

Now this is your new life with the Straw Hats.

[megapteraurelia]

neighbour!kuroo who offers you to stay with him until you've found a new apartment — a small part of him hopes he doesn't seem too eager, another small one wondering if being so close to your ex is going to end up hurting you, but the biggest part of him really hopes that you'll say yes regardless.

who thinks that kenma would snort into his hand if he could see the level of excitement kuroo has to swallow once you agree, apologise for taking up space only to agree vehemently again.

everyday, in the morning when both of you found each other in the kitchen, he opens the newspaper wide for any new apartment postings while you scour the internet; the smell of coffee and breakfast soothing and familiar. a flat far away enough from your ex-boyfriend that you don't have to worry anymore, but secretly he hopes that it's not so far away that he won't ever see you again.

neighbour!kuroo who bids you goodbye when you leave for work first, waiting at the door until he sees you board the elevator safely lest your ex-boyfriend gets the prime idea of harassing you on your way out.

who cackles to himself at the notice hanging on the wall in the entrance hall: the landlord asking for the culprit who taped a tenant's mailbox shut to come forward for community service or to face a fine upon refusal.

kuroo thinks he's got enough money to pay double the fine. (he does plan to mess with it again — to maintain his youthfulness, of course.)

neighbour!kuroo who learns that your work place is not that far away from his own. who wonders if it's far too forward to ask you to spend lunch hour together down the street at the really good coffee shop.

whose heart stutters when he gets a call forwarded from an unknown number only for his ear to meet your voice to ask whether he wanted to meet up for lunch.

(his assistant, looking through the glass wall, raises her eyebrow at the fist pump he throws into the air; her other joining in as soon as she watches kuroo trying to tame his hair but to no avail — stubborn as the head it sits on.)

kuroo also happens to forget to mention that he doesn't like almond paste but when you excitedly show him your favourite pastry with hopeful eyes, lashes caressing your cheeks, a wide grin on your face, he can't help but put his entire life on the line fighting the blush that theatens to overtake his own.

for a second he thinks of refusing, but then he tries the almond riddled pastry, anyway.

he does not like it.

neighbour!kuroo who gets off work half an hour earlier and waits in front of your work place so that he could drive both of you home.

who, with a cocked eyebrow and a sharp retort ready on his tongue, notices a familiar loser linger around the entrance.

"i sure as hell hope you're not here to see who i think you wanna see," he says, looking down his nose at your ex. kuroo, who makes sure to bear his teeth in a resemblance of a sharp smile, who delights in the shifting of uneasy eyes, "but in case you need a reminder of why to stay away, i'm more than happy to help out."

who acts brilliantly inconspicuous once you walk towards him; your boyfriend long gone, shooed away, bullied away, sneered away. (he didn't even have to try that hard.)

neighbour!kuroo who finds it easy to match his long strides to your shorter ones; whose hand swings next to yours. now and then, your knuckles meet his for a split second in a way that makes him want to take your fingers in a tight hold so they can't tease him anymore.

you tell him about an interview you booked for an apartment viewing, excited, asking him whether he had time on the upcoming wednesday at 11 am.

he doesn't, but he says he'll be there with you, anyway.

who tries to ignore the little stab through his ribcage at the thought that he would lose out on your presence before he could even enjoy it to the fullest.

neighbour!kuroo who sends you a smile, void of any cutting edges, eyes crinkling, and tells you, "let's look for more viewings at home."

whose chest squeezes in consolation when you gift him a smile back and nod as you eat the same damn almond pastry; when you don't correct him about home.

neighbour!kuroo who innocently forgets to remind you of looking for more viewings, and instead relishes in the space you occupy on his couch next to him as you settle in with hot tea and a blanket to tackle on the many movies you borrowed from the library.

who gets into a routine with you of making breakfast, washing dishes, saying goodnight and good morning, bickering and teasing, late-night talks and dawn-kissed chats.

who thinks that really, maybe you could just stay here.

taglist | @takes1 @origamipivo @sailanne

@monikosman1311 (i know you didn't ask for a tag, but since you asked for a continuation in the first place—)

[honestlyanowl]

gamer!jinx X plussizedcurvy!reader where jinx has reader cockwarming her strap while she's playing a game plsplspls 🙏🙏🙏

heyy, it's been a while since I've posted a proper smut blurb like this, so I thought I'd make some time today :)

i've been on a trip for about 1-2 months back and fourth, so it's been hard for me to find time or motivation for writing, sorry for the wait. <3 (REQUESTS OPEN)

Content: nsfw - gamer!jinx, plussizedcurvy!reader, cockwarming, strap usage, silent sex, modern au?

Jinx hadn't been paying much attention to you this week, her schedule seemed to always be booked with twitch streams, that lately had seemed to be her priority.

It's not that she didn't see or talk to you throughout the day, you lived in the same apartment after all, but it was only really when you'd bring her food, water, or snacks in between add breaks that you could get a word in.

You were happy she found a career she could enjoy, but you wanted some time with her too. ***

Today however, was slightly different.

How? You may ask, well... most was as pure usual— Jinx had her headphones on, her hands working with practiced ease over the controller she held; eyes focussed on her monitor.

Except it wasn't usual, not with the way you straddled her hips, knees pressing uncomfortably into the arms of her gaming chair, muffling your soft breaths into her neck every time the blue-to-pink gradient strap would slightly nudge more inside of you with every annoyed twitch Jinx's hips would make, usually whenever she'd die in game.

It was both heaven and hell at the same time.

You were more than happy that she was finally allowing you to get close to her, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin, and how your body greedily absorbed it.

However, it was also torture being unable to move, the strap was so deep inside of you, and yet there was so little stimulation...

The best you got were occasional shivers that would climb up your spine whenever the toy massaged that gummy spot inside of you as you shifted on her hips. But it wasn't enough, barely anything compared to what she'd given you a week or so prior. You felt deprived.

You pawed almost pathetically at the freckled skin of her arm, pouting up at her and batting your lashes in hope for something more.

Jinx's gaze flickered down to meet yours for a moment, smiling a little to herself and rolling her eyes back to the screen, her face illuminated by the soft light.

How could she just deny you like that? You deserved it after all the weeks she'd delayed this!

You nudged her again, harder this time. which she obviously didn't like, shooting you a glare, giving your thigh a firm slap, before returning it back to the controller, the fast paced clicking sounds returning to haunt your ears— This was a game to her.

You spent at least thirty strained minutes trying to be pliant, grumbling every time she'd squeeze or grope your stomach to calm herself down. Sometimes going as far as dipping her head down to knowingly nibble at the chub of your cheeks... before continuing her gameplay like nothing.

Maybe she'd whisper sweet nothings by the shell of your ear, or peck your forehead to distract you from the ache inside of you.

You had given up a while ago, slacked into her chest, face nuzzled into the crook of her neck, thriving off the soft lifts of her hips whenever she felt bad, driving the strap slowly in and out, then sinking back into the chair.

"Hey chat, give me like... five minutes? I'm going to go fetch a snack."

You swore as those words left her lips you just about saw heaven, knowing goddamn well she had one or two full packets of chips beside her out of frame.

She placed her controller down, hands reaching down to settle on her hips, nuzzling your face almost apologetically as she helped you get into a higher position, so she could have a nicer angle. Sliding the colourful length in and out of your pretty pussy with long languid strokes. (while also getting a jaw-dropping view.)

Your eyes crossed, it almost hurt how good it felt, how badly you'd been craving this sensation for what felt like hours.

In fact it, you were so deep inside your head now, that you completely forgot about Jinx, who's eyes were staring harmless daggers into your frame. drinking in the sight of you.

her hands kneaded at your chest, dragged down to your stomach and pawed at the fat of your abdomen, dipping lower to grope at the flesh of your thighs.

You groaned, voice crackling as you focussed your gaze, peeking down to watch her, lip bitten between your teeth as you made eye contact.

"Jinx- hng- fuck..!" You almost cried, embarrassed at how little time it took to make you come.

"Wha- already?" Jinx's voice was thick, mocking. And yet all so amused at the same time.

pulling you back down into her chest and sheathing the strap fully into your warmth to run your high out.

Usually you'd rush to pay her back, to make her reach the same peak you did. But not today, definitely not today... you were already curled up against her, dazed out and lulled into Jinx's touch.

Her hands ran over your hips, not bothering to pull out as she rolled small circles into your sides.

"My pretty trinket."

(NOT PROOF READ) - Owl

[egalitarian-tomboy]

"The body language was intentional." Body Language Difference Between Sonic & Amy vs. Sonic & Tails

Although the DC x Sonic the Hedgehog 4 part mini series is non canon to the mainline story (as far as we know at least...) in one of the previews we got for the first issue we get a moment where we see Sonic grab Tails and Amy for a retreat.

However the difference in how he grabs them is interesting enough to warrant a post of its own.

ABT (Adam Bryce Thomas, artist for the crossover) said the body language was intentional and later on went on to elaborate that Sonic is simply being more gentle with one than the other and that he's not interested in shipping theories nor does he have any personal stake in that realm of fandom. He just said that it'd be more in character for him to have a little tact.

First off: HARD AGREE!

Like don't get me wrong, I've been a Sonamy shipper since I was in Middle School when Sonic X was still on 4Kids TV and SA2 was on the Game Cube but I'm against shipping theories / fan shipping wars getting heated between fans. Like y'all lets calm down these are fictional characters.

Secondly: I'm making this post specifically to talk about the body language in terms of how Sonic personally interacts with Amy vs. Tails in different situations. Because they're both close to Sonic but their bonds differ to an extent. So this is really my excuse to talk about something I've wanted to for a while.

Whether you ship Sonamy platonically, romantically, or you just consider them to be friends. I hope you can at least appreciate the observations in this post. Because it also has some appreciation for Sonic & Tails brotherly relationship as well.

So let's start off with the above body language in question and focus strictly on the hands.

The lines in the panel signify the strength of the grip he has on Amy's hand vs. Tails' wrist. With Amy, Sonic is holding onto her hand gently yet with enough grip to get her attention and to draw her close. While his grip on Tails' wrist is more firm with more like a "Get over here!" level of urgency to it. They both convey the same intention yet Sonic's touch differs depending on the person. Which it should because you don't act the same way towards everyone regardless of who they are 100% of the time. Sonic's no different. Sonic has always been protective of Amy and Tails but with Amy he won't physically harm her or act aggressively with her unless it's for her safety (Like pushing her out of harms way or keeping her from running into danger). So his gentle hold of Amy's hand is a good example of that level of softness he treats her with even though he knows how she's able to handle herself. With his grip on Tails' wrist, it's done in a way that screams "Brothers" to me. The older brother pulling his little brother out of harms way and getting his attention when he's too focused on the wrong thing at the wrong time. He's not being as gentle with him because sometimes Tails requires a bit more force to get his attention when he's invested in what he's doing. But the intention is still the same: Getting him out of danger and taking him along with Amy out of danger.

Next we have this scene from the main series:

Now in this scene, as they're confronting Eggman, the body language between the three of them says a lot more about their feelings in the moment. Sonic is ready to fight and protect, Amy is slightly concerned for Sonic, and Tails is nervous but ready to fight by Sonic's side to stop Eggman. The difference between this scene in the previous scene however boils down to Tails' junction to Sonic in the situation. Instead of being brought out of a situation, Tails is preparing himself to work as a tag team with Sonic or provide backup in a fight. For a while now Tails has been wanting to prove he can be useful to Sonic and help him on his adventures. Which is one of the big motivations for him in the first Sonic Adventure game that rolls into SA2. Most recently in Sonic Frontiers he's expressed his desire to be a hero that Sonic can be proud of, that doesn't need to rely on his help 100% of the time anymore. Which Sonic encourages but reminds him that growing up is learning also that it's OK to rely on others even when you're capable of being a hero that helps everyone. One way that Sonic is letting Tails grow into his own hero is by letting him fight with him and on his own two feet (or in his case with his two tails). Now when you focus on Sonic's body language with Amy close by, he's taking more of a defensive stance with her. Again, even though he knows damn well that she's very capable of handling herself with that hammer of hers, he is still very protective of her. One of his arms is slightly in front of her and he's positioning himself for an attack but he's also capable of taking the full brunt of Eggman's attack if he has a weapon or robot shoot at them. Just because Amy is capable of defending herself that doesn't mean that Sonic will stand by and let her be attacked.

One more scene from the mainline series and then I wanna wrap up this post by talking about the inherent difference between Sonic's relationships with Tails and Amy.

After everything is said and done with the Phantom Rider arc, when they all prepare to head home, Sonic puts his hands around Tails and Amy as they smile and leave together. The thing I want to point out is, similar to the difference in where Sonic grabs them in the DC crossover first issue, Sonic's hand placement is tactful yet at the same time very indicative of his relationships with them. Albeit maybe even a little subconsciously. With Tails his arm is wrapped around his shoulder with his hand wrapped around his arm. Very big brother like and sweet, the clear difference in height is also more pronounced in this interaction. Overall if you were to look at them acting like this and Amy wasn't there it gives the air of two brothers who just got done on an adventure. But when you look at his hold on Amy, you can tell Sonic has a different kind of relationship with her compared to Tails. First off his arm is behind her back with his hand either firmly on her lower back or just close enough to be around her waist. Generally speaking it's traditional for a guy to escort a lady with a hand on her back or around her waist to keep her protected and close so she's safe until she gets where she's supposed to be. But it's worth pointing out that Sonic is becoming more comfortable with his physical interactions with those he's close with. He's a very private guy who doesn't do a lot of PDA with friends, especially with Amy when he knows that she's in love with him and he's "runned away" from her advancements in the past. But after everything is over and the battle has been won, he happily holds her close and walks with her back home. And look at her! She's so happy that he's safe and sound she leans her head against his with her eyes closed. Like she's enjoying the fact he's holding her so tenderly and protectively. If this shot was just him and Amy walking together like this, you would say his smile here was a comfortable yet nervous smile like we've seen in the past where she's given him a hug and he looks a little nervous yet happy.

There are many moments in the Sonic Franchise where we get glimpses into the personal relationships Sonic has with his friends and unfortunately there are a lot of people who think that body language doesn't matter when it comes to understanding a relationship. But body language plays such a huge part when it comes to SEEING how close characters are to each other and how they truly feel about each other. With Tails, Sonic's relationship is that of a brotherhood by bond rather than blood. Sonic's always been there for him and yet he respects and encourages his desire to become more independent as he grows up. He will always be there to help him when he needs help and he will always stand up for him but he won't stop him from becoming a hero himself to fight by his side on equal footing in his own way. Sonic calling him "Little Brother" and "Little Bro" openly and more frequently truly shows how he really considers Tails his family.

With Amy, there is a friendship with her but he doesn't view her in the same sibling way he sees Tails. She's straightforward in her love for him and has openly asked him in the past if he would marry her. She's confessed her love for him openly and maturely to him in the IDW series saying she loves him and she doesn't WANT to change him. He's offered her to come with him on his adventure at the time but she had to help out with the struggling resistance. For Sonic, shyly telling her it isn't ALL or NOTHING is HUGE. Because he wasn't against the idea of her being by his side or adventuring with him after she candidly said she loved him for him. After that there's been a lot more flirting from Sonic's end that can be read as just being playful like he is with others. But when you consider in the past he wasn't the type to flirt back or first AT ALL with Amy, there is an inherent romantic undertone to their interactions. But it shows...if ever so slowly (how ironic)...that Sonic is either becoming more comfortable / open to the idea of a public romantic relationship with her or he's becoming more honest with himself since he's always been interested in her but has always been too shy to confess.

If that was too long for you, TL;DR end summary: Sonic's relationship with Tails is a brotherhood, Sonic's relationship with Amy is a slow burn love story.

Hope you enjoyed reading that because I had fun writing it.

[fmnxpl]

Hold me, please

Pairing: Joaquin x semi!avenger!reader (not really an avenger but reader does fight and is in a fight scene here)

Warnings: a looooooot of angst, brief fight scenes, some fluff, at the begining, open ending (bc i might make a part 2 if someone is interested), brutal injuries, gore, and also reader is not doing well mentally with Joaquins last mission

Word count: 2k

Summary: You get hurt on a mission that was supposed to be Joaquin‘s. Arguments start, words are said that cannot be taken back. What ever to do now?

A/N: I think my next few posts will be joaquin based but i will def throw in some jason todd fics! Also thank you so much for all the love Forget me Not got! All likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated and i have seen all!:)) As a thank you have a waaaaayyy longer Joaquin Fanfic. I hope you enjoy it<3

You feel him long before you see him.

A small smile grows onto your face as his goatee scratches and tickles your neck while he places kisses along your jaw. You had forced Joaquin a few weeks ago to let his beard grow in because you found him more attractive with it, and although he was reluctant at first—because he didn’t want Sam making fun of him—he very quickly learned that it indeed made you way more attracted to him. You open your eyes and turn around in his arms so that your face is pressed against his chest, one of your hands cradling the back of his neck.

"You smell really good, Joaquin," you murmur, placing a kiss on his Adam’s apple. You feel him shudder around you. “I was wearing that new cologne you got me yesterday,” he replies, his voice still thick with sleep. “Seems like it stuck.“

A low hum leaves you as you feel yourself slipping back into sleep.

"No, baby. We need to get up. It's late, and I gotta go meet Sam and Bucky." "Do you have a new mission? You just got out of the hospital, Joaquin. I don’t want you out there for at least two more weeks.". You sit up in bed, your back meeting the headboard. Joaquin leans on his side, propping himself up with one hand as he looks up at you with a goofy, shit-eating grin, chuckling.

"No, not a mission. Just a quick debrief of their last mission, and they wanted me to surveil an attack. I won’t engage at all, and I will be far, far, far away from any danger. I promise.". Every "far" is followed by a soft kiss on your chest, just above your heart.

You let out a sharp sigh and look away. Ever since his brush with death, you’ve been anxious, doting on him, taking care of him—you don’t want him out there anymore. You knew who he was, and you knew all the dangers that came with his job. You yourself would help them out here and there on their missions, but you would never call yourself an Avenger, a hero, or anything of the sort. And you certainly had never experienced such grave injuries before.

They had to restart his heart. He was gone. His heart—the one that holds so much love and so much joy—had stopped, and—

"Stop that." "I'm not doing anything." "You’re thinking too much about this. I won’t be near any danger, and after this, I won’t be asked to do anything for a month." He pulls himself from under the covers and makes his way to the bathroom, leaving you no room to start an argument.

As you stand up to get yourself something to eat, your phone begins to ring. It’s Sam. You pick up on the third ring.

"Hey, Sam." "Where are you? Is Joaquin with you?" You furrow your brows in worry at his tone. "No, he's in the bathroom. It's just me. What happened, Sam?" "We need you for a mission, but Joaquin can’t know." "Is it the mission that he’s surveilling? How exactly do you want him not to know, Sam?" "It’s a ruse." "A ruse? Am I your jack-in-the-box? Sam, just because Joaquin is on a break doesn’t mean you can go searching for others to just throw themselves headfirst into—" "I’m not asking."

"…Excuse me?"

"It is either you or Joaquin. And I wouldn’t have asked if this wasn’t absolutely necessary. Figure it out." Before you can even formulate a sentence in your head, he has already hung up.

A minute later, you receive a text from Sam—coordinates, most likely where the mission is supposed to take place.

You exhale deeply through your nose before moving to the kitchen. Breakfast is bland, unsatisfying. A little while later, Joaquin steps out of the shower, fresh and clean, already dressed. He grabs some fruit, kisses the top of your head, and bids you goodbye.

For a few minutes after Joaquin‘s departure, you stare at the kitchen wall. No sound, no movement, just the weight of your own heavy breathing. The more you think about Sam and his mission, the more you feel yourself stress. Your left ear starts ringing heavily as your head starta to sway. The harsh ringing of your phone yanks you out, and you quickly pick it up.

"I’ll be there in ten, Sam."

"Does Joaquin know? He just arrived and seems a bit skittish."

"No, I didn’t tell him anything, Sam. Can you keep an eye on him? At least until I’m in?"

"You got it. And thank you, for doing this."

———

It was supposed to be quick.

In and out. Grab the damn papers, throw anybody down who tried to get them, and get out before you get caught. And don’t kill anybody. That was what Sam and Bucky had told you.

Sam had even given you a headset to stay connected to Bucky as he stayed behind with Joaquin to surveil you and keep him off the radar. About five minutes in, your headset was crushed when one of the workers in the facility tried to bash your head into the wall. Small shards and sharp pieces of the headset pierced the side of your head, leaving behind a deep cut just beneath your eye. Your ear was ringing again, and you could practically feel Sam start to panic.

It took you two elongated hours before you finally saw the front door cleared. You had been stabbed in your abdomen, and your hand—although pierced to bits as well—pressed onto your wound as best as you could. The other hand grasped the papers tightly in case anybody tried to rip them out again.

But as you made your way to the door, your legs gave out from just beneath you and— Damn it.

Everything went black.

Damn Sam and this stupid superhero bullshit.

…

You hear frantic voices, someone yelling for help. Two warm hands cradle your face, thumbs rubbing slow, soothing circles against your cheeks. "Mi cielo my sky, don’t do this here. Please, please, please. I’m sorry. I know it hurts. Baby, don’t you love me? You can’t leave me alone, please, baby."

That was all you had gotten before your body blacked out again.

---

The next time your body wakes again, your eyes open first. A bright, strong white light almost blinds you with its intensity, and it does nothing to help the blaring headache pounding away at your skull. As you move your head to the side, you spot Joaquin. He looks tired—eyebags under his eyes more prominent, his beard unkempt and grown thicker than the last time you saw him. His hand holds tightly onto yours. You try to speak, to move, to give him any sign that you’re awake, but you’re far too exhausted. Instead, you just hope he realizes it on his own.

The door swings open, and Sam and Bucky enter. Sam holds a large bouquet of flowers in his hands, while Bucky—who doesn’t look much better than you imagine you do—just stands idly by.

"How ya doin’, kid?" Sam places the flowers on the nightstand next to your bed. You let out a sigh and open your mouth to try and speak, but before you get the chance, Joaquin already startled awake.

"How long has she been awake? Why didn’t you wake me? Do you need the doctor? Hold on, let me—". He moves to press the call button, but Sam is quicker.

No one says anything after that. Joaquin simply sits to the side as the doctor checks on you, glaring between you and Sam. You already know—once the doctor, Sam, and Bucky leave—you’re in for a long argument. And it's ironic, considering you had just been in his position less than a week ago. It takes an excruciating hour before Sam and Bucky finally decide to leave.

All the while, Joaquin hasn’t muttered a single word. Sam apologizes, and Bucky tries to start a conversation, but he doesn’t get far once he realizes that nobody is responding to him.

In all honesty, you don’t want them to leave. You don’t want to start an argument with Joaquin when your body is still half-alive, still clawing its way out of the grasp of death. However, much to your surprise, five minutes after Sam and Bucky leave, Joaquin stands up as well.

"Where are you going?" Your voice comes out dull and scratchy from disuse.

"I’m going home. I’ll come back tomorrow."

"Joaquin—". He leaves.

You exhale a deep sigh, turning your head to stare at the wall beside you.

——

It takes you two weeks to be cleared to return home. And in those fourteen days, Joaquin comes to visit you only four times—each visit shorter than the last. You try to talk to him, try to get him to explain why he’s this upset when he himself does this nearly every day, but the only responses you get are a sigh, a roll of his eyes, or a very short, "I have to go." You quickly learn to leave it be. When the time comes, he does come to pick you up, driving you both home in complete silence.

The second you step through your front door, his entire demeanor shifts.

"Was this what you wanted from the start?" His voice is sharp and rough as he whips around to face you. His narrowed eyes glare at you with a pointed stare, his breath coming out heavy.

"What? Joaquin, what are you—"

"Did you want this to happen? Go on a mission, get yourself hurt, just to teach me a lesson? I just got out of the fucking hospital, and not even a week later, you’re in there. Are you out of your mind? Taking on a mission like that all on your own? No backup, nothing, and I wasn’t even informed that you were there! You all lied to me. You can’t even fucking fight. You’re not even a fucking Avenger. What the fuck is wrong with you?", his voice grows significantly louder with every word that tumbles out of his mouth, but all you can focus on is the last sentence.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Is.

Wrong.

With.

You?

"Are you out of your fucking mind, Joaquin? I took care of you for four fucking weeks—day in and day out! I got you food, I got you everything you wanted, and this is what I fucking get? I took the fucking mission so you wouldn’t have gotten hurt again, and you can’t even look at me. Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, you don’t get to—".

You don’t let him finish.

You turn around, storming toward the door, and slam it shut behind you.

[chelseeebe]

would that i

18+. mdni. smut!! tommy hagan is mean and there is slight homophobic language! no use of y/n!

part two to this fic! can probably be read on it’s own but p1 will help you understand things!

would that i - hozier because i think steve used tommy as a scapegoat for never being himself and now he doesn’t have to <3

HIHI! i’ve been away for a little while and i apologise tremendously! this is a part two which seems completely out of left field but i found it half-finished and really liked it!! i’m hoping to start posting this multi-part eddie fic i have been working on but i want at least a couple parts solidly finished beforehand because i know exactly what i’m like lol

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

as to be expected, tommy has no interest in steve. three years of friendship washed down the drain for no good reason. on reflection, steve doesn’t really count what tommy and he had as true friendship, they were just using each other.

he was too terrified to be alone while tommy saw that and took full advantage, milking his credit card along the way. 

he’s got you now, he supposes. finding solace in your house, away from the judgemental glares and snickering whispers of his teammates and friends. 

robin seems to be warming up to the idea of having him as a constant presence in your house, though it’s slow and longwinded. steve had found that she was nothing like tommy, she couldn’t be bought with pizza or gifts but not with lack of trying. 

you sit now on the couch, your head in some book with your legs strewn over his lap as the tv plays sunset avenue loudly. he’d never take someone like robin as an avid soap opera watcher, but then again, he shouldn’t be either. 

“donna should’ve left him years ago,” steve adds, a comment that was supposed to stay tucked away in his mind. 

you look up slowly, robin’s head turns, confusion plastered across your faces. 

“what?” you laugh, placing the book down on your lap. 

he just shrugs, eyes darting between both pairs of baffled eyes, “david’s an asshole.. she should’ve left.” 

“no no, i got that, i’m just- you watch this crap?” 

he shrugs again, “yeah,” finding great pleasure in the way he had finally gotten robin to crack a smile, “my mom used to watch it.. what’s the big deal?” 

you look to robin, a knowing smirk on your lips before picking up your book again. 

robin just grins, “oh steve harrington, i think we might just be friends.” 

and thus, a weekly tradition was born. 

he and robin would settle in for their fill of second-rate acting every tuesday at eight on the dot. 

he lets her know that her opinions are trash and she kindly tells him to fuck off back to the barn he was born in. they were two peas in a pod really. 

steve appreciates the newfound friendship. it’s comforting in ways no one else had ever been. he just hopes robin sees it that way too, he’d had his fill of one-sided friendships to last a lifetime. 

-

steve hadn’t really left your side since the night he tumbled down your staircase and proceeded to confess, rather terribly, that he was practically in love with you. 

he doesn’t mind, he likes spending time with someone who actually likes him for once. 

even now, as steve attempts to settle down for the night, you’re restless, sat at your vanity rooting through your makeup. 

“so i’ve been thinking,” you did a lot of that, most of it nonsensical. 

“hmm?” quirking his brow, always a little worried for what was about to blurt out. 

“i think you should let me put eyeliner on you,” spinning around to face him with a maniacal grin, the pencil already poised in your hand. 

there was one outcome here, and it absolutely involved you jabbing a pencil into his eye. 

“do i get a choice?” he asks naively, knowing the answer was certainly a no. 

you shake your head, smile stretching from ear to ear, gesturing for him to scoot back. eddie wore eyeliner, and those guys on your posters. is that why you wanted him to? to be more like them?

steve swallows that thought, pummels it down until it’s but a quiet whisper. he liked you for you, surely you felt the same. 

“if you really don’t want me to, i won’t,” sensing his apprehension, you were pushy and stubborn but not cruel. 

he blinks, who would ever see? maybe you’d tell robin, but she certainly wouldn’t care, in fact, she’d probably think he were cooler. “i wanna make you happy,” smiling softly, “and if putting eyeliner on is what makes you happy then.. do it.” 

your eyes light up, coming to stand between his knees, “you’re sure?”

steve nods his head, lying back on your bed as you get up to straddle his waist, black kohl pencil in hand. 

your thumb delicately holds the skin down, allowing the pencil to line his waterline. it stings for a second, an unfamiliar feeling of a pencil jabbing his eye. 

“babe ow,” exaggerating greatly. truthfully, he enjoyed the attention, the focused look on your face as your tongue peeks out in concentration. 

“shut up,” moving onto his other eye without much warning, his right eye blinking rapidly. “okay,” you smile, “sit up.”

he does as he’s asked, like always. holding onto your hips as he shuffles, keeping you steady on his lap. 

“oh my god,” gasping once his eyes meet yours fully, “oh my fucking god,” swooning over his forced makeover. 

“you like it?” he asks innocently, none the wiser to how he actually looked. 

your hands grab his cheeks, shifting on his thighs with excitement, “i love it,” gazing deep into his soul, “i just wanna kiss you.” 

the side of his mouth quirks, snaking his arms around your waist, “you can always do that.” 

“i know,” gladly connecting your lips, a softer appreciation for the intimacy you got to share now. nothing felt rushed or scary, you were able to enjoy each other without fear of getting caught. 

he keeps your body pulled tight to his, laying you back onto the mattress as he crawls on top, his hands sliding underneath your shirt. steve hadn’t realised how much he appreciated having sex in a bed and not his cramped car. 

your fingers brush the falling tendrils back from his face, interwoven into his hair with such tender loving care that it sends shivers down his spine. 

they hover over his scalp, tracing gentle patterns to the sensitive skin, “you’re so handsome,” mumbling into his mouth, “i can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” lifting your back from the mattress to allow him the space to tug your sweatpants down. 

“it should be me saying all that,” steve marvels, admiring the curve of your hips, the way your thighs fit him so perfectly between them. “you’re too good f’me,” saying so earnestly, he should be thanking the gods you ever looked at him twice. 

“stop it,” you hush, interlocking your lips once more in a bid to stop him rambling on and ruining the moment. 

steve sighs faintly, ridding himself of his shirt, giving you free reign of the delicate skin of his neck you loved so much. your lips find it first, peppering short kisses in the crook between his neck and collarbone, only for your teeth to graze the skin soon after. 

he enjoyed seeing your mark on him, violet and maroon splotch’s that meant he was yours. 

his hips grind down mindlessly, rutting desperately against your soft thigh. 

“we have to be quiet,” you mutter into his collarbone, cradling the back of his head in your hands, the feel of your thigh brushes against his ribcage as you shift beneath him. 

“i know,” he breathes, fumbling with his boxers in a desperate attempt to tug them down and feel you.  

“fuck,” almost growling as you bite down onto your bottom lip, “i can’t stop looking at you,” admiring his focused expression, the charcoal lines you’d painted below his eyes. 

“don’t,” fisting his cock, gliding his piece between your slick folds, “keep your eyes on me, darling,” nudging inside, his leaking tip just barely sinking into your cunt before you’re clawing desperately at his clammy neck, gasping into his ear. 

“sh-shit,” speaking in shuddered breaths, praying you won’t wake robin next door. on occasions, he missed the backseat of his bmw, for this very reason. 

he hadn’t heard you so loudly in months, the filthy, x-rated shit you used to growl only came out in whispers now. alas, his back had finally recovered after those weeks of trying to manoeuvre around the tiny backseat of his car and the faint scent of sex had faded. 

your delicate fingers stroke his jaw, panting in succession with his hips. he can see the exact moment the idea springs into your mind, moving your thumb to the plump skin of his bottom lip, itching for him to catch on. 

steve does, always one to please, you especially so. taking your thumb between his lips to suck gently on the digit, he can feel you practically convulse in response. clenching around him, keeping him so tightly wound inside you. 

“holy fuck,” releasing the most animalistic growl alongside your wretched smirk, ogling his face, tracing the curve of his lips with hooded eyes. 

taking his sweet, sweet time tonight, hips rocking at a astonishingly slow pace, hoping to keep you concealing your sweet moans for just a little bit longer. 

adoring the way you keep your eyes trained on him, humming in appreciation when his tongue dances around your thumb. 

your other hand brings his face closer, sliding your thumb down his plump bottom lip to replace it with your lips instead. groaning into his mouth when his hips still and his tongue runs the length of your bottom lip. 

messy and slow, just the way steve liked it. he wasn’t opposed to the hard and fast dynamic you shared either, but this way he could truly feel you, admire your curves and your warmth as it deserved. 

“can’t believe you’re mine,” he grumbles through shared kisses, fingers groping at your doughy hip.

the bed frame creaks as he moves again, disregarding how obvious the sound was to stay in this very moment. he wants to swallow you whole, sucking and nibbling ravenously at your jaw, trailing down to your neck. a safe haven for him to whine loudly. 

“ohh yeah, fuck- all yours,” reassuring him of what he already knew. 

steve shifts your legs, pressing down gently on the backs of your knees to allow himself further, deeper even. your eyes rolling into the back of your head when his cock nestles into your sweet spot. 

“shit baby, feels so fucking good,” murmuring through gritted teeth, his pace faltering as you rut back against him. 

he feels so obscenely close to you, connected in such a way that’ll leave your souls entwined forever. 

you’re close, steve can feel that much. no need for desperate gasps when you made it so obvious every time. you become accustomed to a person’s body when you spend every waking moment with them. 

“give it to me honey,” he pleads, unrelenting with his strokes, desperate for you to come undone beneath him before he lost it all completely. 

your whines become frenzied mewls, panting and sighing into his neck. 

steve’s arms tremble, succumbing to his own climax, especially when your thighs spur him on, entrapping him inside, your cunt clenching, tumbling over the edge with a chorus of pleas and utterances of his names. 

“ohh yeah- oh fuck yeah,” pumping thick ropes of cum into your hole, a decision he’d probably come back to regret. that didn’t matter now, not with you so placid underneath him, clutching onto his damp skin like you’d never let him go. 

he all but collapses, chest to chest, both heaving against one another. you sigh wearily, running your fingers along his shoulder, right up to his cheek, “i don’t think we were very quiet,” chuckling into the warm air. 

he shakes his head, “that’s your fault,” brushing the wisps of hair from your sticky forehead, admiring your spent state. 

“i love you, steve,” saying it aloud for the first time, exasperated but wholly true nonetheless. 

steve chokes on his tongue, the words had laid dormant for months now, only they fail to form at the most crucial time. dumbfounded by your admission as if it weren’t obvious. 

he coughs up a reply, cradling your jaw in his palm, “i love you too.. i really do,” slow brushes of his thumb on your skin, proving his full adoration of you. 

your smile causes his heart to thump, “i know.. but you gotta get off me so i can shower,” gently pushing his dead weight away, rolling out from underneath. 

his heart full of love and affection, you were everything to him and you hadn’t a clue. 

-

steve awakens to your alarm blaring, the weight of your body keeping him anchored to the bed. he peers over your lifeless body to the clock, 7:32 it reads. 

fuck. 

he was late. 

he peels your arm from his side, rolling out of bed to slam his fist on the frankly grating clock. you grumble in response, reaching your arm out for his hand, “don’t go,” murmuring into the pillow as you come around. 

“honey, i’m late,” he coos, pulling his sweatpants on, the remnants of your makeover smeared all over the pillow. “i’ll see you later, okay?” leaning over to place a gentle kiss to your forehead, receiving nothing but a soft hum in response. 

he hadn’t thought any more of his face until he busted through the locker room doors, receiving ten-fold the usual stares he’d get. 

they all snicker amongst themselves, elbowing one another as his heart sinks to his ass. dating you was one thing, wearing makeup was an entirely different thing. 

steve wants to die, far more than he usually does at this time of day. shoving himself into the far corner in hopes that they’d leave him alone enough to allow him to scrub at it. 

“are you wearing eyeliner?” jason perks up, grimacing right in his face. never subtle nor ever caring to be. 

steve shakes his head, his fingers trembling as he drops his bag on the bench, wondering if it’d be easier to just sprint out of here before tommy clocks on. 

too fucking late. 

tommy rounds the corner just as he takes off his shirt, a littering of violet markings scattered across his neck and collarbones. in any other circumstance, he’d show them off, be proud to be claimed by you. 

but not now. not as tommy whistles, scoffing to himself, “holy shit, what’re you fucking a vampire or somethin’?” the quip leaving his lips before he has time to spot the dark rings around his eyes. 

“fuck off,” steve retorts, pulling his jersey over his mop of hair, he’d had no time to style it this morning, treasuring his time with you instead.��

“you wearing makeup?” tommy punches his shoulder, far heavier than steve could brush off as just playful banter, “my god, steve.. she’s turned you into a fucking queer,” his words snide and venomous. 

a tongue so heavy and harsh, steve was genuinely surprised that that was the worst he’d said. 

though it doesn’t lessen the sting, watching the locker room erupt into laughter at his expense. 

tommy doesn’t deserve a reaction, knowing full well that any retaliation would end in a bloody nose and a busted lip. 

everything was new to steve, being the laughed-at rather than the laugher. now he understands why eddie hated him, why robin wasn’t interested in friendship or why people seemed to turn the other way when he was coming. 

it’s dreadful, the whirling nausea in his stomach and the flaming hot feel of his cheeks. nothing could’ve ever prepared him for being on the receiving end of tommy’s abuse. 

he barges past, desperate to just get their mandated practice over with and get the hell away from them all. 

he hadn’t understood it until now, how scared he must have made people feel, how dreadful he must have made their lives- your life. 

and eddie’s. 

steve didn’t deserve you at all, nor the kindness of your friends or your forgiveness for that matter. you deserved better, someone who wouldn’t get uneasy over eyeliner or kept you a secret for the first three months of your relationship. 

steve knows now that he wasn’t ashamed of you, he was scared. 

scared of tommy and his poisonous tongue, his teammates beady, judgemental eyes that saw him- saw you- as less than. 

he can’t face you tonight, unworthy of your warm bed and gentle embrace. questioning whether he had the gall to ever face you again. 

-

music thumps from below, showing no signs of stopping. a few months ago steve would have been right down there with them all, probably letting his mind wander back to you, just like it was doing now. 

he doesn’t like being here much anymore, the boys were too loud, too boisterous for steve to settle properly. the smell of stale beer and shoddily rolled joints lingered in every room, miles apart from your cluttered yet tidy house

he misses your bed, with the clean blankets and the fresh sage and lavender you kept in vases around your room. 

he misses you. 

screw it. 

if he wasn’t going to sleep well here, he might as well go back to where he belongs. shoving clothes into his bag without a second thought, he practically lived with you anyway, his own drawer full of clothes and other random shit he’d accrued. 

the clock reads 1:31, you’d probably be asleep but he’ll try his luck either way, the spare key tucked under the doormat if you really didn’t answer. 

sliding down the stairs and out of the door before anyone could notice him and poke fun at his co-dependency issues. 

it was only a short walk to your place, one he’d done a thousand times by now. passing other students just getting back from the bar or the library, paying him no mind, not like they used to. 

steve prefers it this way, without the notoriety that came with being tommy’s lapdog. 

tommy upset a lot of people, so in their eyes, steve also upset a lot of people. 

he supposes that’s fair, he’d never tried to intervene or stop tommy’s behaviour, a willing participant just by being there. 

he’d got his comeuppance though, what with being shunned by his basketball teammates and now becoming bullied as opposed to the bully. 

fortunately, there’s no time to stew on what his karmic punishment may be, sidling up the cracked path to your front door in record time. 

much to his surprise your light is on upstairs, a faint orange glow from behind the curtain. it settled his raging heart to know you were only seconds away. 

rapping his knuckles lightly against the door, hoping he’ll catch your attention and not robin’s. he could pelt pebbles at your window he supposes, truly old school romance. but he’s not sure how much you’ll appreciate that. 

the thought is futile anyway, he can hear your feet shuffle and creep down the stairs, flickering the lights on as you go. 

inching the door open to peer out, not expecting steve on the other side, “steve? what’re you doing here?” though you don’t sound angry, or even slightly annoyed for that matter. you look relieved that he’s here, after what was clearly a restless night for you too. 

“sorry, i tried.. i missed you too much,” pathetically shrugging his shoulders, “-is that my shirt?” knowing full well that it was. 

your head dips, becoming immediately bashful, “yeah, i missed you, i’m sorry,” pulling at the worn hem, weary eyed and full of sleep. “come in, it’s cold,” tugging him inside by the hand and locking the door behind him.

steve glances up the stairs, he knows the drill by now. traipsing after you like a little lost dog, he can’t help but let his eyes trail down to your thighs, his favourite tattoo of yours, a snake that wrapped around your leg peeks out from under his shirt. 

“and my boxers?” reaching out to brush his hand over your thigh, resisting the urge to pinch and grope like he really wanted. 

“sorry,” flashing a smile over your shoulder, “i told you i missed you,” hushed whispers as you pass robin’s room, her soft snores heard from the hallway. 

“stop saying sorry, i like it,” he mutters, clicking the door closed. back in his domicile, a wave of comfort washing over him immediately. 

“then good,” cradling his cold cheeks, “i’m glad you like it,” placing a soft, docile kiss on his lips,  clutching onto his hip, desperate to keep him close after a torturous twelve hours apart. 

steve hums in appreciation, relishing in the moment, wafts of coconut from your shampoo fill his nose as his chin settles on your head. 

“i don’t think i like sleeping without you anymore,” he’s laughing but he’s deadly serious, he felt empty without you, like a piece of himself was missing. 

there’d never been a time that steve had thought he’d become one of those unhealthy co-dependent people, but now he understands it completely. wanting to share your company constantly, missing your adoring touch and sarcastic jokes at his expense. 

“mhm, you don’t have to,” swaying in the low light, where the edges of you are a little fuzzy but his brain is still too amped up to sleep. 

“did i wake you up?” steve asks, lingering hands on your back before breaking apart. 

you shake your head no, kicking your obnoxiously cliche bunny slippers off under the bed, “i couldn’t sleep.. something was missing but i’m not sure what,” cracking a smile, tucking yourself into the soft blankets. 

ridding himself of his sweatshirt and jeans before crawling on in, right next to you. at peace once more, fatigue seeping through his veins. 

“how was your day?” he asks, settling in to his rightful space. 

your eyes roll back, “same old.. i passed that report i was worried about though, what about you? you look exhausted,” jutting out your bottom lip. 

steve mumbles some half-assed response, something about a long day and being tired but you’re too wise to his tricks, tilting your head when he doesn’t answer your question. 

“what happened?” settling into the bed next to him, “was it tommy again?” pulling the blanket tight around your shoulders, peeking inquisitively over the pillow. 

steve hums, staring at the ceiling, “i forgot to take that makeup off last night,” shrugging, because to most it wasn’t a big deal but people like tommy and jason aren’t in the 90s like the rest of humanity. 

“and they had a problem with that?” you ask, rather naively, because what other reaction would they have? 

“mhm,” he nods, swallowing his hurt, “tommy said some shit.. brought you up, it’s just- stupid, they’re stupid,” not seeing the need to repeat what he had said verbatim but hopefully saying enough for you to understand. 

he can’t see you though he can hear the blanket ruffle, “what’d he say?” 

steve doesn’t want to repeat it. he’s said some stupid things throughout high school but that wasn’t him anymore. 

“he.. he called me a- babe i don’t- i’m not saying it,” turning to face you, pleading with you to understand. “he said you made me.. gay, alright?” 

your brow knits together, doubtful that it were just annoyance and not pure wrath, “what a fucking-,” stopping yourself from saying anything else, that wasn’t the intention, “did it upset you?”

steve contemplates for a second, truthfully, he hadn’t really been able to really articulate his feelings. he wasn’t upset that he’d been called that, more so upset that someone he once called a friend could think so little of him over eyeliner. 

“i don’t know.. i’m not gay- i mean, i don’t have any problem with it, it’s just-,” he sighs, struggling to find the right words, “i dunno, he just said it so.. so angrily.. like it’d be the worst thing in the world if i was.” 

you exhale, not meeting his eye, “tommy’s just.. jealous, he’s intimidated by anyone that isn’t like him,” a concentrated look settles on your face, “he doesn’t have a job or a girlfriend, i mean, he’s barely gonna graduate.. it’s no surprise he’s pissed off that you’ve grown up without him.” 

it’s undeniably the truth, and yet it still hurts. 

this stemmed from tommy’s inability to grow up, and his raging jealousy towards anyone who was actually comfortable enough to be themselves. steve knows what tommy said to you, visiting the bar where you work just to try and get into your pants behind his back. 

he doesn’t hate you, he hates that you don’t care what he thinks of you. and neither does steve. anymore at least. 

“you’re really good at this,” he snickers, reaching over to stroke your cheek, “i don’t say it enough but i really appreciate you.” 

your smile creeps onto your lips, eyes creasing as it grows, “you say it, don’t worry,” leaning into his soft hand, “or you show me, at least,” feeling your smirk against his palm. 

“oh yeah? how do i do that then?” letting his own lips quirk up. 

“hmm lots of ways,” dismissing him with a shake of the head, “like when you kiss my head every morning before you leave orrr..” failing to turn this conversation around, “when you make me cum three times before even thinking about yourself.”

that was honestly just his duty as your boyfriend, your pleasure is paramount and seeing your eyes roll back and your thighs start to tremble meant the world. 

his chuckle bellows, louder than intended. “i’ll always make sure you cum first, don’t worry,” gaze flickering back to the ceiling, contemplating his next words. “even when we’re old and gray,” he’d been thinking it for a while, you deserved to know too. 

“oh?” yawning through your words, “are we going to get old and gray together then?” as if it weren’t a certainty. 

steve hums, unsure of how much detail to divulge, “oh yeah, i’ve got this all planned out,” his tongue clicks against his teeth, “you just have to agree.” 

you laugh sleepily, talking into the soft pillow at this point, “and you think you’re gonna tie me down?” 

he pauses again, “hmm no, i know i’m gonna marry you,” waiting for your reaction to his outlandish claim, though it doesn’t come. 

steve looks over, finding your eyes pressed shut and your mouth slightly open, soft snores floating out and into your room. 

“goodnight then,” reaching over to press a gentle kiss to your forehead before flicking the lamp off and settling in. 

he would die a happy man if he got to talk nonsense with you for even one more night. 

-

eddie was hesitant to invite steve, it was his birthday after all. he understood, it’d take a while to earn his trust and respect, that was fair. 

but you were insistent, pestering eddie until he crumbled and said steve could join you all at the bar. so long as he was nice and didn’t bring any trouble. 

easy enough. 

steve keeps with you mostly, trailing around after you like a lost puppy dog. fetching drinks and accompanying you to and from the bathroom. fulfilling any and all boyfriend duties. 

“i’m just going to get another drink,” standing from the booth to shuffle over his legs, “stay here, i won’t be long,” patting his shoulder rather patronisingly. 

oh no. 

robin was in the bathroom, you were going and the two guys that eddie had arrived with were in a heated game of pool inside. leaving him no choice but to talk to him. 

“you’ll be okay, won’t you?” already walking off, leaving him with really no other option but to make awkward small talk with eddie. 

steve can sense how painfully awkward this was about to be, neither of them wanting to acknowledge the other without you here to mediate. 

no doubt some cunning plan of yours to get them talking. 

he determines that being the one to break the silence is the better move, clearing his throat before speaking, “so.. you having a nice birthday?”

“mhm,” short and curt, exactly as he expected. “i’m glad..” clearly struggling to be nice, “glad you could come,” his eyes flicker to the stone floor, “you’re not so bad, actually.” 

wow. 

steve almost falls out of his chair. 

he doesn’t know what to say, eddie had never been so polite, “th-thank you,” eddie already thought of steve as a loser, he didn’t need to make it any worse. 

eddie offers his cigarette carton out to steve, an olivia branch of peace or something. at least that was how steve saw it. it’d be rude not to take one. 

“thanks,” he hums, lighting the cigarette himself before offering his lighter out. 

it’s peaceful, and far less awkward than it had been just twenty minutes ago. maybe they could be friends, they had a common interest after all. 

“you know i used to overcharge you for weed, right?” eddie chuckles, taking a drag of his cigarette, narrowed eyes focused on steve.

he just sighs because yes, you had explained in great detail that thirty dollars was nowhere near the correct price for a gram of weed. “yeah.. she told me,” smiling back through his embarrassment. 

“sorry dude,” he shrugs, though it sounds completely insincere, “but you deserved it,” stubbing out the embers of his cigarette. 

“yeah, that’s fair,” he’d done far worse, he’s sure. 

just as they collapse into laughter, you and robin swan back through the door, carrying a tray of what looked like tequila. 

“absolutely not,” eddie cries out, watching robin grin as you hand them out. 

“it’s your birthday! don’t be so bor-“ interrupted as the door swings open again, a chorus of voices steve unfortunately recognised following suit. 

tommy, and his new lackeys stumble in, catching sight of your little party immediately. 

“this is sweet,” he mocks, “where was my invite, stevie? i thought we were best friends!” his tone patronising and his eyes narrow and dark, just as they were in the locker room. 

steve doesnt meet his eye, his didn’t deserve that respect. “we should go..” finding your infuriated gaze instead, noticing your clenched jaw. 

this wasn’t a fight worth having. 

tommy’d win whatever happened. 

“leaving so soon? but we just got here!” sneering at your silenced group, “c’mon man, where’s your hospitality?” swaggering over to the table, an overbearing grin that steve wants to wipe right off of his face. 

he won’t. of course. 

this is eddie’s birthday and tommy’s thoughtless stunts won’t get in the way of him becoming friends with your friends. 

but eddie’s up before steve can do anything about it, fist drawn back until it quickly meets tommy’s nose, a loud crack and a guttural groan follows. 

tommy grabs his nose, only to pull it back stained red, “what the fuck man!” staggering backwards like he didn’t deserve that and worse. 

eddie turns, entirely unfazed by his actions, “i think we should go home,” finding each of your eyes. he didn’t look ashamed, or even slightly concerned about the blossoming bruises on his knuckles, instead, he was proud. 

steve can’t sling his arm around him fast enough, stumbling out of the bar in sheer shock that that had really just happened. someone had finally shown tommy hagan up. 

“thanks man,” steve mutters into his ear, watching as you and robin attempt to hail a cab. 

eddie claps his hand against steve’s back, shaking his head slightly, “that wasn’t just for you,” his eyes trained on your back, “but her too.” 

their shared affection for you had been their means to come together, steve can recognise that eddie only ever wanted what was best for you. and now he thinks that eddie might just see that he was worthy enough to be that.

[spiceforyou]

Good Girl.

NSFW! 18+

Author's Note: Hi babes! Hope you enjoy!

Summary: You died a virgin. Let's fix that.

You can’t believe you died a virgin! That was the most devastating part of death. You were horny in life but never got with anyone unless yourself counted (it didn’t).

A few weeks post death the ghosts had decided to throw a little party. You had gotten ready with Rhonda and accidentally told her you died a virgin. Her mouth hung open comically before shaking her head and saying “We are changing that tonight Cherrypop.”

Your cheeks heated as you shook your head no. Rhonda smirked at you asking "Who do you have your eyes on? Yuri? He has that mysterious stoner artsy vibe. Dawn? She has the laid back quirky vibe. Oo I know!" She giggles excitedly. "It's Wally isn't it? The jock golden retriever." She watches as you glance away with a shrug acting uninterested.

"That's adorable. I'll be your wing woman." She smiles as she helps you finish doing your hair. You had managed to find a cute strapless dress to wear over your black band tee and paired it with your fishnets with black combat boots. You were feeling super cute by the time the party was starting.

You let Rhonda lead you to the decked out library where music was playing and lights were flashing. You were pretty sure you were crashing a reunion but it was fun none the less. Everyone else had already arrived. Wally was roaming around watching the living when you walked in.

He had heard Rhonda's giggle before anything. He glanced over and was mesmerized by you. He thought you always looked cute but tonight you looked down right delectable. His eyes caught on the smooth skin of your fishnet covered thighs before trailing up to your pursed pink lips.

You had felt his eyes on you before you spotted him. His eyes trailed from your thighs to your lips before his cheeks heated as your eyes met. You giggled and gave him a shy wave. He slowly made his way over to you a big smile gracing his face.

"You look great." He smiled at you. Your cheeks heated before you gave him a twirl. You giggled "You look pretty good yourself." He smirks at you before reaching out his hand. You take his hand and he tugs you towards the refreshments table.

He hands you a cup of punch before grabbing one for himself. "You look really really good, Y/N." he says as his eyes drink you in again. He is looking at you like he wants to eat you and it has your thighs clenching with want. You smirk at him looking up at him through your lashes "Are you checking me out, Wally?" You tease.

"Umm. Yea I definitely am. Is that okay?" he asks curiously. “It might be.” You shrug looking away from him. Rhonda comes running up to you as the song changes. She grabs your hand before saying “Sorry Wally I need to steal her for a minute.” Wally grabs your drink as you get pulled to the dance floor mouthing a sorry to him.

Rhonda gets you to the middle of the dance floor before spinning you around to face her. “Dance with me.” She says as she begins to sway her hips. “What?” You question as you begin mimicking her dance moves. “Wally is giving you fuck me eyes. All you need to do is shake your ass a little and he will be putty in your hands.” She smirks flicking her eyes to the refreshments table where Wally watches you.

You sway your hips and trail your hands down your body slowly as you watch Wally watch you. He’s got his bottom lip between his teeth as he is mesmerized by the sway of your hips. He sets the drinks down and makes his way to you. His eyes never leave your frame.

He stands a few feet from you practically drooling as your dress rises showing more skin. You don’t even notice that he’s made his way to you until you feel his warm hands grab your hips. You turn slightly looking up at him as you back your ass up against him. Hit hands tighten on your hips and his warm breath dances across the back of your neck.

You grind against him as he mumbles out “fuck”. You giggle before wrapping your arms around his neck bringing his chin to rest on your shoulder. His hands slide to rest on your lower stomach warming your skin.

You take this opportunity to spin around in his arms. His hands now on your ass. You lean up on your tiptoes and whisper in his ear “Do you wanna get out of here?” Your lips graze his neck as his breath catches. He whimpers in your ear before saying “Yes. Please. Need you.” His words come out choppy like his brain is slower than his mouth.

You giggle kissing his cheek before grabbing his hand and tugging him through the other dancing bodies. You barely make it out of the library before he was pinning you against some lockers lips attaching to your neck and his hands kneading your ass.

Your hands grip his strong shoulders trying to steady yourself which is failing as his lips trail farther down your neck. “Wally…” you whimper out trying to get his attention. He either doesn’t hear you or doesn’t care leading you to lace your fingers through his thick hair tugging his hair until he pulls back.

He grunts at you as a pout graces his face. “Why’d you make me stop?” He groans before trying to attach back. You tug sharply on his hair. “Look where we are.” You say reminding him that anyone could leave the library and see you. It takes a second for his hazy mind to realize what you want. He grabs your hand and begins tugging you deeper into the school.

He almost stops a few other times but you give him a pointed look so he trudges on until you arrive at the abandoned teachers lounge. Once he pulls you through the door he’s got your thighs in his hands and your back pressed into the door as his lips finally attach to yours.

His lips warm yours, he nibbles at your bottom lip and snakes his tongue in your mouth while his hands knead your thighs. Your hands roam anywhere you can reach, scratching and tracing every inch. The kiss finally breaks leaving you gasping for breath as his lips trail down your jaw before his tongue licks at your neck. He blows cool air onto your neck before biting it and tracing the ache with his tongue.

He tightens his grip on you before pulling away from the door and sitting on the couch. As you settle into his lap a whimper passes through his lips as his hands slide under your dress gripping your ass roughly through your fishnets. You slowly rock your hips against his hardening cock, a tiny sigh slipping past your lips when your clit rubs against him.

His hips jut up at the cute noise that leaves your swollen lips. He uses his grip on your ass to guide your hips along his aching cock. You reach down to unbutton his slacks before lifting yourself to help him slide them down. Once you settle back against him a whine leaves the both of you. Your warmth seeps into his underwear leaving a damp spot where you grind down on him.

You roll your hips needing more friction, lacing your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, head tossed back as you hear him whimper out "Fuck yes baby just like that." You clench at his raspy words before looking down at him. He pulls you closer against him before he buries his face between your breast groaning and nipping at them with his teeth through your dress.

You gasp as he stands up suddenly flipping you onto your back on the couch. He stands on his knees in between your legs looking up at you. His warm hands run up your fishnet covered legs causing more heat to rush to your center. They trail up your inner thighs pushing your dress up as they go before settling an inch away from your molten middle.

He dips his head trailing his lips up from your knee a murmured plea leaving him. "Fuck can I please taste you baby? I need it. Please." He begs and who are you to deny him. His hands quickly pull your panties off your hips before he scoots back settling between your legs throwing one over each shoulder before reaching between your thighs and ripping the fishnets apart so he can get to you.

He smirks when a gasp leaves your lips, looking up at you "Gonna keep these on. You look so hot in them." You whine out as he licks a fat stripe up your center, your hands clenching and unclenching at your sides. He then spreads you open with his thumbs before spitting on your pussy and dragging it up to your clit with his middle finger. You whine out hips lifting to get his mouth on you.

He finally gives in and latches his mouth onto your clit massaging it with his tongue before his wet finger slides into you slowly. You cry out at the sensation your hands sinking back into his hair pulling you impossibly closer to your center.

He nips gently at your clit as he slips another finger inside of you. His fingers curl up into that spot that has the air leaving your lungs. He smirks against your clit continuing his abuse of your pussy. You cry out as your legs start to quake around his head. He adds a third finger sending you over the edge screaming "WALLY". He continues brushing that spot as he coos at you "That's it. Such a good girl for me. Gonna let me fuck this sweet pussy? Make you cum around my cock?" You cry out as you push at his shoulders getting over stimulated.

He pulls away before he bites onto the plush skin of your inner thigh before he bullies the spot until it has a purple hue. "Baby, gonna need an answer before I cum in my pants please." He begs looking up at your flustered state. You lock eyes with him giving him a nod yes.

He sigh leaves his mouth as if you were gonna say no to him. He crawls up your body before stripping you naked and following in suit himself. He grabs your thighs pushing them to your chest before rubbing his throbbing cock along your folds to get himself wet. He leans back and holds both of your thighs with one hand before he sets his hand over his cock pressing himself into your clit. You cry out as he thrusts, the head of his cock brushing over your clit deliciously before he drags his tip to your drooling entrance.

He pushes the tip in groaning out "So fucking tight. Fuck." You whimper as he slowly sinks into you. Once he's fully inside you he leans forward planting kisses to your lips. As he is kissing you his hips pull out slowly before slamming back into you, he swallows the scream that leaves you before pulling away himself to pant into your neck.

His hips continue their brutal pace as he falls apart inside you. He is whimpering 'fucks' and 'good girls' into your neck as he speeds up his pace. He leans back guiding one hand to your clit rubbing it in tight circles praising you "Taking me so well baby. Fuck feels so good." His eyes are locked onto your blissed out state. Your hair a mess and your lips wet spurring him closer to the edge. His hips stutter as you pulse around him.

"Fuck. Gonna let me cum in you baby?" he grunts as sweat drips down his temple looking up at you with hazy brown eyes. "Yea Wally. Yes please." You cry out as you feel yourself tipping over the edge. Wally watches as you cum around him looking so beautifully tired and gripping him so tight. He snaps his hips a few more times before burying his face back in your neck whimpering "Good girl" as he pumps you full of cum.

[mongoosingisme]

Okay, hear me out, I'm sure this has probably been done a lot but, it's the 1st year of the flower dance and fem!farmer wooed shane up to 8 hearts. Farmer attends the festival in the proper attire (a pretty white dress and heels) and seeing shane all dressed up makes her all hot and flustered. She obviously asks Shane to dance and he begrudgingly agrees, but they instead sneak off into the forest for a little bit of "fun" instead. Protection? It wasn't planned soooo....oops. Pull out game? Weak. 🫣 They return to the festival afterwards for some sly comments from the others.

HELLO FRIEND!

I've tried to write this several different times, and then I got angst-pilled and wrote some other stuff and it all came together.

So... yes. A continuation of the couple other Shane fills I posted this week (here and here). Had to massage the ask a little bit (picturing it as being between 4 and 6 heart events), and it came out probably a little more dark/angsty than such a lighthearted ask would probably warrant so... uh, yeah.

(seriously, though, reach out if you want me to take another swing that isn't connected to other stuff and is maybe a little more light and bright).

Gonna be one more in this series that'll wrap it up.

Okay! No more housekeeping!

Title: (still don't know what to call these things - doc was named "Shane dance req")

Pairing: Shane x fem!farmer

Word Count: 4170

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only, if you would be so kind

Tags and fic under the cut!

Tags: Shane real real sad, alcoholism/depression stuff, blow jobs, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, super weak pullout game, not great examples of communication

When Shane was a kid Marnie had this dog. Ugly fucking thing, all drool and rough fur and this shit eating grin.

He loved that dog. He’d crawl into Shane’s bed at night, lay his head over his hip, all heavy and warm and stinking and love.

But then one summer the dog wasn’t there anymore. He had killed a chicken. Big teeth, thin neck, a mess of blood and feathers. You couldn’t have a dog that killed chickens around a farm, so he had to go live somewhere else.

Shane knew how that dog felt.

The farmer. He’d gotten a taste, and he wanted more.

Shane worked very hard not to want things.

Shane was failing.

It felt heavy. Everything felt heavy. 

“Are we gonna talk about all that?” She’d asked it a few days later at the saloon, voice quiet and soft, making sure Emily was elsewhere.

“Nope.” It was all that needed to be said. All that he could possibly say.

“Okayyyyy…” Her mouth was in a flat line. Another kind of honest look. Then she looked away, rested her cheek in her hand.

He wanted to be her hand.

He could still taste her.

He wanted more. It nagged at him. Made it all heavier. An unfinished task. Like if he did it maybe he could finally find some relief. Check the last box. 

He had a drink. It helped cover up the taste.

He should do with himself what Marnie did with the dog. Send himself off somewhere else, where there was less potential for pain.

That place didn’t exist, though. So he let himself sink.

Into drink, yes, of course, but also into the farmer. Because she was still there, somehow, still warm and real and honest and when he made her laugh he still felt like maybe there was a good reason for him to be on earth after all.

They spoke more. Sitting on the dock in the chilly early spring air. Or, most nights, at the Saloon. Slouching against the bar, lost in the way she managed to drag words out of him, circumventing the invisible boot that always felt like it was pressing into his throat. The teeth around his neck.

She saw more too. What he looked like when he was low. In his natural state, radiating spikes of pain that punctured the people closest to him.

It was okay. He had room for shame.

He didn’t have room for her, though, and the feelings she ignited in him. Feelings he could name (hope, joy, connection) but would not, would never, could never admit, because they were the feelings that didn’t stick around, and the holes they left behind were so much more painful than if they hadn’t been there at all.

The alcohol helped, for the most part.

It might be a problem.

———————

Shane was an atheist, but if he thought it would make the farmer stop showing up in dresses he could absolutely be convinced to pray.

Spring. Flower Dance. He was there. It made Jas and Marnie happy to see him there. He owed them that. Owed them the suit and the bow tie. Owed them the freshly shaved face and combed hair. Owed them the flask left at home.

Well. Two out of three wasn’t bad.

He spotted the farmer before she spotted him. This was a good thing - he’d probably have a stroke if he had to speak while processing what he was seeing. She was in a dress again. White this time. Light and floating around her knees. Pretty shoes that made her a little taller (his height exactly, if he figured correctly).

She looked radiant. That pure sun smile. Those warm, endless eyes. Hair done special and necklace on and bright and shining and kind and open and he wondered if he’d feel the same if she came up to him and took his hand in front of everyone and

(fuck no absolutely not, this was not what we are thinking about…)

Her shoes made her walk a little differently, back arched a bit, calves shapely. He could see the backs of her knees. She’d be soft and sensitive there. He could run his fingers back and forth over her skin, make her gasp and squirm.

(he knew what it sounded like when she gasped now, knew the sharpness of the intake, the gentle ‘hah’ that followed, knew a few ways to make her make that sound but there would be more, there would have to be more, so many ways to make her gasp that he hadn’t found yet…)

Her neckline wasn’t plunging, not exactly, but gathering, sleeves dropping off her shoulders in a way that insisted he trace his gaze across her chest.

(he’d touched her there, once, just the once, just his hands, he should have used his mouth, could have marked her, it would have faded by now but he’d know the spot, could look at her and remember how it’d felt to press his mouth there, but all he could do now is imagine and stare and…)

Shit. He was starting.

He focused quickly on the table in front of him.

Food was something to do, at least.

Take her taste out of his mouth.

He grabbed a macaron.

“Is that a bow tie?” She’d sidled up to him. 

He focused on the cookie, and the way his flask felt heavy in his pocket. “Don’t say a thing.”

She just smiled. “You look so perky! Like you’re about to round out a barbershop quartet!”

“Yoba’s Light, must you?”

“Or like you'll try to sell me a clarinet or something. Mr. Music Man!”

“Leave,” he said. “Go be somewhere else.”

“Only if you agree to dance with me!” Bright eyes. Sunshine smile.

“I would rather snort lead paint dust than dance at this thing,” he said. The cookie was dry in his mouth. Cloying and sweet.

The farmer’s sweetness was different. 

If she asked him to dance again he was going to say yes.

He needed a drink. 

“Hey kids!” Emily was there, sneaking the last macaron from under his fingers. “You dancing today?”

“Yes,” the farmer said.

“No,” Shane said.

Emily raised her eyebrows. “You two better get your stories straight.”

“Dance with me?” No bright eyes. No sunshine smile. Just her, sweet like a maple candy he’d had once, melting away on his tongue like it was never there in the first place, but the flavor remained.

“You’re not going to leave me alone until I say yes, are you?” 

“Nope!” She waved to someone over his shoulder. 

“Fuck,” Shane muttered, just to himself, then “fine.”

She smiled, small and controlled. There was a bit of impishness in her eyes. “Perfect. You’ll have to teach me the steps though.”

“Fuck,” he said, for her this time. 

She laughed. 

It all felt lighter, just for a moment. It made him feel like he was spinning up and up.

What goes up must come down.

“Show us how it’s done!” Emily was grinning over a madeleine.

Shane felt like he was losing control over the situation. 

As if he had any to begin with.

“I am not giving you a dance lesson in front of all these people.” He grabbed a fistful of meringues, popped a couple in his mouth. They dissolved instantly.

Not like her. She melted but she lingered.

“So go find a quiet spot and teach her!” Fucking Emily. She always knew exactly what she was doing. 

“Great idea! Come on!” And the farmer was holding his hand now, pulling on it, off towards the woods, and something was skipping in his mind, stuttering, trying to keep up because he absolutely felt the way he thought he would if he she did that, light shining through his body (hand to shoulder to heart to throat), a crushing weight lifted, and he could loosen if he wanted to, in the wake of it, but he tensed instead, because the holding of a hand implied a hand eventually letting go, and it all comes crashing back down so much harder when it gets lifted for a moment.

Emily winked, gave him a little wave as his feet moved without his approval.

The farmer’s hand was solid. Warm. Calloused. Strong. 

He wondered what the callouses would feel like if they rubbed against his lips. If they trailed over his stomach. If they wrapped around his -

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in something that didn’t have the word ‘Joja’ on it.” 

They were walking, just walking, hand in hand like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“How else am I supposed to feel like I’m thriving?”

The farmer snorted. Then, soft and sincere: “you look really good.”

What do you say to that?

“Thanks, you too,” he finally muttered.

“Don’t I?” She smiled at him. “Took me an hour to get my hair together. I used to take an hour on my hair every morning when I lived in the city. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have that much free time now.”

Shane made a sound of acknowledgement. 

One of the nice things about the farmer was that she rarely required him to have something to say.

“Think this spot is good?” They’d wandered off on a side trail, ended up in a little clearing.

Shane was struck by the fact that they were alone together. This was very rare.

Shane was struck by the fact that the farmer was absolutely beautiful, looking at him all gentle and at peace and like she was just where she wanted to be.

Shane was struck by the fact that he wanted her. He always wanted her, but it was suddenly so much more intense, so overwhelming, because she was right there, looking at him the way he looked at her, like she saw something she wanted, like she was looking at something worth wanting, and he wanted to drop to his knees.

“Yeah, this is fine,” he managed. 

“So how does it go?” She was looking at him expectantly.

“Huh?” 

“The dance. The one we’re supposed to be practicing. Is your tie restricting blood to your brain?” She reached out, fiddled with the bow.

Shane reached up and grabbed her wrists without thinking. They fit so nicely in his hands. “Don’t,” he said. “That took me twenty minutes to tie.”

He didn’t let go.

He could feel her pulse thrumming.

Her cheeks were a little flushed.

Her eyes dipped down to his mouth.

(It could happen it could happen he could check that box right now and be done with it and it would be fine, it would be okay, it was nothing to worry about because it’d be over and he’d know and the taste would be gone and he could finally finally move on…)

He rubbed his thumbs over her wrists. Slow.

“We’re going to have to talk about this at some point.” She sounded breathless. 

“Yeah,” Shane lied. Then he moved her.

There was a simplicity to bodies that Shane appreciated. A kinetic intelligence that had always been with him. Move this way and that will happen. Apply pressure here and see results there. It had made him a monster on the gridball field, taking down larger players with ease and precision.

Shane knew where his strengths lay.

He knew how to move a body. So he didn’t need to think about how to angle his grip to make the farmer take a step backwards. And it was easy to crowd into her space, press his forehead against hers, make her shift and stumble where he wanted her to go - up against a boulder that he knew would support her just where she needed it, on her shoulders, her hips, the arch of her back as he pressed her against it.

His mouth was on her skin, her neck, but only for a second because her hand was in his hair, pulling him up, making him look at her.

Her eyes.

He tried not to groan.

“Promise me,” she said. “Promise me we’ll talk about this.”

“I promise,” Shane lied.

(it was okay, he had infinite…)

“Okay,” she said, fingers loosening.

He wished they wouldn’t. He wished they’d stay right there, strong and harsh and demanding and showing him exactly what she needed, exactly what he could give her that wasn't a lie.

“Okay,” she said again, and his mouth was falling.

Dresses. Fucking dresses. So different from flannel and denim. So easy to move. Those sloping sleeves that dropped with the slightest nudge, baring curved shoulders and long neck and mounded flesh and skin and skin and skin and skin and skin.

And there it was. That gasp. She made it as he raked his lips across her chest.

(soft and warm, always, every part of her so soft and warm…)

She smelled incredible, like cedar and lavender and soap and just a little bit of sweat, and her chest was moving, heaving up under his mouth as he kissed her, mouth open and lax, chin and cheeks sliding, smooth for once (though part of him craved the friction, the resistance, the reddened skin that proved he was there).

Dresses. Fucking dresses. With tiny zippers in the back that were a bitch to get a good grip on, but once you did they came down so easy, and fuck, the farmer, so put together with a pretty strapless bra that he could pull down like it was nothing. 

Her breasts were warm and heavy as he cupped them. She sighed, pressed up into him.

A sigh was good.

A gasp was better.

He squeezed, observed the indentations his hands made in her flesh. She gasped, arching her back against the boulder.

“There you go.” He wasn’t sure if he said it or thought it. 

Her nipples had tightened, two pebbled tips, and it felt right and good and needed to pinch at them, thumbs and the sides of his forefingers.

(fuck, just like he thought, just like he dreamed, those sounds, sounds like “yes,” like “more,” like his name all broken and gaspy because she loved it, loved his fingers and his hands and his voice…)

“There you go.” He was definitely saying it out loud, and she was whimpering in return. 

His mouth wanted to say more. 

He filled it with her instead. Sucked. Grabbed at her hips as she arched again. Memorized the way she moaned. The way she tasted. Felt her tremble as his teeth scraped over her. Tried not to groan as her hands made their way back to his hair.

He failed.

"That feels so good," she was whispering, and it went straight to his cock. “So fucking good, Shane.”

(His name his name his name his name…)

The other side now. Sucking and scraping and groaning, he couldn’t help it, the sound ripping out of his throat because her hands kept holding him there. 

But then they were pulling, and he was letting her go, and she was saying “I owe you” with the cutest fucking little smile. He didn’t know what she meant until she lowered herself to her knees in front of him, and then he knew exactly what she meant.

Her hands. On his belt. His pants. Pulling. Tracing over his hips. Wrapping around his cock. She was gentle, looking up at him with eyes that were happy and present and just a little mischievous and she looked good, so fucking good down there

.

(So good, such a good fucking girl for him, down on her knees like that with her dress pulled down for anyone to walk by and see her, see her like that, all undone for him, all down on her knees with that smile that felt like a kiss, hot and dirty and intimate and he wanted to kiss her, drag her back up by her hair and…)

She flicked her tongue against the head of his cock, then took it into her mouth. 

He groaned.

Her lips stretched around him, warm, hot, so hot he was dying. 

He needed more.

He reached for her head, her hair, but she slapped his hands away, drew back to say “you mess up my hair and I’m ripping out your bow tie.”

Of course she’d make him laugh like that. 

“Noted,” he said. He realized his voice sounded warm.

And then she was on him for real, mouth stretching down, enveloping him, soft and suction and heat and wet and perfect. So perfect. He wanted to tell her, to unlock his throat, to let the words fall out

(So good so good so fucking good for me sucking my cock like this out in the open, so pretty for me on your knees, fucking made for me aren’t you, fucking made for this…)

But he pressed his lips tight. Closed his eyes. Let the entirety of all that was him rest at the point where her mouth stroked his skin.

It felt like light. Like letting go.

He wanted to let go.

But not yet. 

Now or never, he realized. 

He had to see. Had to check that box. Put it behind him.

He grabbed her hair, pulled her face back. She went easily, looked up at him. Her lipstick was smudged, her eyes a little wet.

He was going to make a mess of her, wasn’t he?

“Are you fucking kidding me?” It was the hair, he realized. 

Well. In for a penny, in for a pound. He kept one hand on her head, used the other to rip out his bow tie, and then he was pulling, something deep in him filling at the way she gasped, different this time, excited, anticipating, an edge of pain.

(Gonna make a mess of her, make a mess of this…)

She was easy to move, so pliant, goosebumps pricking up her arms as he settled her stomach and chest against the rock. He leaned against her, let her feel his weight. His mouth was by her ear. He let his lips touch it. Not a kiss, just a touch. Like his hand that had come around to cup her neck. Just a touch. Just a touch.

She was moving. Hips hitching back, rubbing against him. Throat flexing as she spoke: “Shane, fuck, I need you… Yoba, just fuck me, please.”

Her light. From her throat through his hand to his shoulder to his mouth. Filling it with her taste, too much, too full to keep the words inside, so as he reached up under her dress, pulled her underwear down, pressed his fingers against her he started to speak.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so fucking wet for me, look at you.”

The words made her moan, or maybe it was his fingers working up inside of her. 

“You’re gonna feel so good, aren’t you? Gonna be good for me?”

He barely knew what he was saying, but she was agreeing with it, nodding, whining, moving her hips.

“That’s my girl. That’s my fucking girl.” He had to let go of her neck to get his hand around his cock, to rub it against her, so wet and welcoming, so warm, so fucking warm, all the time, like sunlight, pulling him in, (“I’ll pull out” “fuck, just do it”) deep, deeper, and he could feel her shift around him, making room, making space with a whimper and a whine and a groan (though maybe that was him) and he was enveloped and it was all lifting, lifting off of him, the weight, and fuck if there was space, if there was room in his life for good he could enjoy it, live in this moment, let it fill him and brace him and fix him like some idiot part of his brain still thought was possible.

But there wasn’t space.

So this had to be it.

She was looking over her shoulder at him. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes soft and hazy. Beautiful. So beautiful she couldn’t possibly be for him. “You feel good,” she said. 

If only there were space.

“Baby…” It fell out, looking in her eyes, and it made her smile, and it was fucked, it was all fucked, wasn’t it, because he couldn’t go back, couldn’t unfeel her, couldn’t unsee her, couldn’t let go of her taste.

There was nothing left to do but what his body was screaming for. 

To move.

An arm around her waist. A hand around her neck. Lips fastened on her shoulder. Hips shifting, ears listening, and yes, a gasp, a tightening, and so he did it again, felt her groan reverberate through his hand (hand to shoulder to heart), and then there was rhythm, something to follow, to fall into, to finally finally shut his mind off for one damn minute and feel.

Cool stone seeping in through his elbow.

Soft skin so easy to mold and move.

The farmer. Tight around him. Squeezing and taking. Giving back movement and sound and if he weren’t so far gone, so caught up in her he’d worry that they might carry, that someone might hear, but there was nothing on his mind, a merciful blank, a space, there was space, space that he could fill with her, like he was filling her.

(fuck fuck fuck he was doing it he was doing it he was here and she was here and they were moving together and it was like floating it was like falling it was like waking up it was like going to sleep it was like climbing it was like slipping it was nothing and everything and)

He wanted her to want this like him. Remember this like he would. He dropped his hand from her throat, found her clit, all wet and swollen and (fuck fuck fuck) her sounds were changing, breathier, rising in tenor and tension and he needed it, needed her to feel it too, how the weight could lift.

“Yes,” she was saying, over and over. Voice tight and shaking, trembling under him, hitching and tightening in a way that made his stomach drop, his hips tighten, his mind go blank and 

(oh shit oh shit oh shit too much too much can’t move can’t think can’t breathe can’t fucking…)

He was making a mess of her.

Like he made a mess of everything.

For a moment it all lifted.

In an instant it all came crashing back down.

“Fuck, did you…?” She was looking over her shoulder as he was pulling out, pulling away. Eyes (those eyes, those pretty pretty pretty eyes) still blown dark. Hair unkept. Lips swollen, like she’d been biting at them.

He wanted to push right back into her again. 

He wanted to run. 

“I… shit…” What the fuck do you say to that?

She was turning, rearranging her clothes, and there were things he was supposed to say, feelings he was supposed to be having, but there was no room for them, none, (only shame, infinite room for shame) but still she was there, and her hand was on his cheek. “We have to talk about this, Shane.”

“I know.” It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t a promise either.

“They’re going to miss us at the dance. We need to get back but…” She sighed. Stoked a thumb over his cheek.

(How? How? How did she have space for him, still, with all that was falling and all that was crushing and all that was him?)

The words were all caught up in his throat.

He needed a drink.

She was fixing his tie. Smoothing her hair. Swiping at her lips. Undoing the mess he made.

He wanted to fall to his knees.

“Come on.” She held onto his hand, led him back to the festival.

She had an infinite capacity for love, he realized. He could bask in it. Photosynthesize. Wrap that vine around her and let it grow and grow and grow until eventually it choked out everything around it. Thick and thorny and invasive, winding around her neck, impossible to remove once those roots got deep.

“Your bow tie’s a little crooked.” Emily. Back at the dance. The farmer was off making her rounds. 

He wondered if she could still feel him inside of her. 

“Did you two have fun dancing? You missed the big show.” Em was futzing with his tie, and his arms felt too heavy to bat her away. 

“Fucking hate this festival,” he said. 

“There’s always next year.” She ruffled his hair. 

Shane said nothing. Watched the farmer. Tried to decide if her walk was different. If her shoulders sloped. If she could feel his weight. 

He could feel it.

What he carried.

What pressed in on him.

Like a boulder on his back.

Like teeth sharp on a throat.

Her taste was still there.

It wouldn’t go away.

And Shane had to decide if he could live with the consequences.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Ough, I don't have much to offer, but I miss crowyuan (rereading everything in that tag rn)

Do Crows and snakes get along? I wonder how crowyuan will interact with tianlang-jun & his nephew...

Also, the old palace master! With how... creepy his character is, and how strong crowyuan's wifebeam seems to be in this verse (damn peak lord catnip lmao), I can imagine him doing some veeeeery unsavory things, if you wanna have fun with that (that post abt Yuan's wings being crippled was so TT, god damnit old crook)

Anyw, just throwing out some ideas, if you ever wanna come back to it. I see your current hyperfixation seems to be wangxian lol. Not many thoughts on that since I haven't read the novel, but looks fun

This is just so sweet...I'll respond to it ahead of the other ones, just because I was like "AWHHH" as I was reading it. Honestly, my hyperfixation is always wangxian, nothing is as strong as them in my mind - you should totally read MDZS....it's so good....it's the best MXTX series in my humble opinion- *gets shot* ANYWAY!!! First off, I have actually done a post about how Crowyuan would interact with Zhuzhi-Lang and Tianlang-Jun!!! You can find that here, but thinking about it generally (and doing a bit of research), I've got a few things that I'd like to highlight about how crow demons and snake demons would interact generally. Did you know that crows actually eat snakes in real life?? I certainly fucking didn't until I was like "yo how do they interact in real life?" THEY EAT THEM. CASUALLY. Honestly, crows are just out here eating predators like it's NUTHIN'. Anyway, applying this to Crowyuan, I've decided that crow demons and snake demons would have a very...strained relationship. Unlike the underwater demons (because I've decided they're very similar to how I portray them in the Leviathyuan AU), ground demons are all squaring up and ready to fight to the death over a murdered demon, so of course these two groups are very at odds with each other - I mean...crow demons probably feast on snake demons like they're a gourmet meal. However!! I feel like this is probably from before Crowyuan came into the equation, so like the basis of life that he starts with. AFTER he comes along, I like to think he (along with Shang Qinghua who was a *checks notes*..chicken demon?) manages to bring in a new age (generally, because you can't change everyone's views) where crow demons and snake demons have a better way of dealing with this. Snakes are a large source of protein for crows in real life, so I don't think that Crowyuan would be like "stop eating snake demons," I think it'd be more of a "hey why don't you eat the already dead ones, instead of the alive ones?" and, after a lot of talking with snake demons, they manage to bring a lot more of a relaxed relationship between the two groups. HOWEVER!! That doesn't mean that they're chill. Crow demons still find joy in fucking with snake demons - like, in real life, how crows disorient snakes through loud cawing, swooping around near the snake, and just pecking on their tails sometimes. Crow demons have this sort of spiritedness to them when they come across snake demons, and snake demons try to steer clear of snake demons because they're so annoying. AND THE OLD PALACE MASTER!!!! If, if, he wasn't almost instantly killed off or stuck in the lowest levels of the abyss, I feel like he'd see Crowyuan (of all kinds) as a sort of trophy or weapon that he needs to get his hands on so he can use this demon - who everyone seems to love?? He just wants the power and control that comes with owning this demon, he's disgusted by Crowyuan himself. Despite his disgust, of course, he would flounce Crowyuan around to events bedecked in garish gold, but would probably keep him in the Water Prison behind the scenes.....BEFORE, of course, he's killed off or stuck in the lowest levels of the abyss. So, there are some thoughts I came across while reading your ask, I hope that helped out with the drought of Crowyuan upon my blog right now.......READ MDZS SO YOU CAN ENJOY MY OTHER AUS!!! /silly/silly

[not-magdi]

-take care of you / ben Shelton

Warnings: none, flu?

Words: 616

Reading Time: 4min

Request: could you do another where ben takes care of a sick reader? maybe reader takes care of him? also ur writing is so amazing omg

I'm so sorry for not posting for a while but I'm drowning in exams and sadly didn't have the time, but I'll try to write a bit <3

The moment Ben stepped into their apartment, he knew something was wrong. Normally, by this time of day, Y/N would either be curled up on the couch watching something or coming up to greet him. But today, the apartment was eerily quiet.

Frowning, he kicked off his shoes and made his way down the hall, gently pushing open the bedroom door.

Y/N was barely visible under a pile of blankets, only the top of her head and the tip of her nose peeking out. Her face was flushed, her breathing uneven, and when she turned her head slightly to look at him, she let out a hoarse groan.

"Hey, babe," she croaked, her voice scratchy and weak. "I think I’m dying."

Ben's heart clenched at how miserable she looked. He quickly moved to the bed, crouching beside her and brushing a few damp strands of hair from her forehead.

"You’re burning up," he murmured, concern heavy in his voice. "Why didn’t you text me?"

Y/N gave a weak shrug. "Didn’t wanna bother you."

Ben scoffed, shaking his head. "You could never bother me."

She closed her eyes, sniffling, and he pressed a soft kiss to her warm forehead before standing up.

"Alright, you stay here—actually, you don’t really have a choice, you look like you can’t even move. I’m gonna grab some medicine, food, and one of my hoodies. I know you like them when you’re sick."

Y/N hummed in approval, barely able to keep her eyes open.

Ben returned a few minutes later, balancing a glass of water, some flu medicine, a bowl of soup, and one of his thick hoodies—the one she always stole because, as she put it, "it smells like you, and it’s the comfiest thing ever."

He set everything down and carefully helped her sit up. She groaned at the movement, her head falling against his shoulder.

"I feel like a puddle," she muttered.

Ben smiled softly, kissing the top of her head. "You kinda look like one, too."

She attempted to glare at him but was too weak to pull it off.

"Here, take this first," he said, handing her the medicine and the glass of water.

Y/N wrinkled her nose but obediently swallowed the pills, chasing them down with a few sips of water. She groaned at the taste and shuddered.

Ben chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Disgusting. But it’ll help."

He grabbed the hoodie and gently pulled it over her head, helping her slip her arms through the sleeves. Y/N sighed the moment it was on, snuggling into the warm fabric.

"Better?" he asked.

She nodded sleepily. "Smells like you."

Ben grinned. "That’s the point."

Once she had eaten a few spoonfuls of soup, he decided she needed a change of scenery. Carefully, he scooped her up, ignoring her weak protests, and carried her to the couch. He settled in, letting her lay fully on top of him, her cheek resting against his chest.

Y/N let out a long sigh. "This is nice," she mumbled, already half-asleep.

Ben smiled, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing small circles on her back. "Yeah? Want me to rub your head? I know it hurts."

She made a small noise of approval, and Ben gently started massaging her scalp, his fingers threading through her hair in slow, soothing motions. Y/N practically melted against him.

"If I weren’t so sick, I’d marry you for this," she muttered.

Ben chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Good to know."

As she drifted off, Ben kept holding her, massaging her scalp every few minutes, just content to have her close. If he got sick, he got sick. Taking care of her was worth it.

--------

Hope you enjoyed it !! ❤️🎾

[skyward-floored]

Thanks @zarvasace! :)

1. How many works on AO3? 58! Though taking into account things like whumptober collections and other oneshots... the actual number is definitely over 100, possibly close to 200 XD

2. Total AO3 word count? 738,361!

3. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Brethren in a cradle, about the chain accidentally acquiring a baby is first, which is kinda cool because it’s probably one of my more self-indulgent fics? I’m just happy other people like the idea as much as I do :)

Because They Aren’t Suffering Enough in Canon (Linkeduniverse Whumptober 2022) is second, which I personally consider to be one of the best whumptober years I’ve done, so I’m happy to see it up here :)

Accidental domestication is third, which is just about the chain having encounters with wolves that should not be as nice as they are XD It’s silly and honestly a bit cracky, but it’s got a little whump in there too so it’s got something for everyone I guess!

Fourth is Always Darkest Before the Dawn (Linked Universe Whumptober 2023), more whump! There’s some good fics in here, some of my favorites honestly, and several with multiple parts so I think that keeps people coming back to it. I guess lol.

And fifth is actually Troubled Waters, which I’m kinda surprised about? I like some of the other mer legend fics I’ve done better XD Though when I wrote it, there were only a handful of mer Legend fics out there, so I think it filled a niche.

4. What fandoms do you write for? Pretty much just Zelda these days, though I started with ninjago!

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to but I’m so forgetful 😔 at this point I have so many I haven’t responded to I doubt I’ll ever catch up, but I try to keep up with them at least a little bit.

6. Fic with the angstiest ending: Probably this one whumptober fic where I ah... killed Epona. It’s vey angsty. Very.

7. Fic with the happiest ending: ...most of them? XD I usually try for a happy ending in my fics, or at least a satisfying one. It’s not technically finished yet, but I think a Royal Castletown wedding probably has the most triumphant one.

8. Do you get hate? Only from a bot one time. I’ve had some odd comments before, but nothing truly hateful.

9. Do you write smut? nooooope.

10. Do you write crossovers? Do AUs count. Because if so then that’s a resounding yes. Otherwise, no.

11. Ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge, and I hope it stays that way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not to my knowledge. That’d be neat though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Sort of? I’ve had people help me with fics, and I’ve helped them in turn, but I don’t know if I’ve ever done anything that could truly be called co-written.

14. All-time favorite ship? Zelink, to nobody’s surprise I’m sure. It’s really like ten ships in a trench coat though, and I like some kinds more than others. Skyward sword is my favoritest :]

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have this one fic about Time and Legend being captured and tortured while the rest of them think they’re dead that’s like 3/4ths done, but I really don’t know if I’m ever going to finish it up. I should probably post what I’ve got so people can at least read the first four or so chapters, heh.

16. Writing strengths? Hm, I feel like I’m pretty good at dialogue? And fight scenes give me grief, but once I sit down and focus on them I feel like I can write a pretty good one.

17. Writing weaknesses? Descriptions 😩 I feel like I never know where to put them, like no matter what I do it seems like it’s interrupting the flow of things, and I really have to fight to fit them in in a way that makes sense.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue? It’s fine? I don’t really know enough other languages to enjoy it, but it’s fine. It’s not quite the same but I’ve written a handful of things with some random non-English words, though only one published thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Warrior cats, which consisted of about two handwritten pages and then I gave up and never wrote anything fic-like again until I was 18, and wrote a ninjago fic. And then started writing lu stuff. And then I was doomed for life XD

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? I can’t pick, good grief! I mean I’m fond of all my Incredibles au stuff, my mermaid legend fics are fun to reread, all my whumptobers are crazy to look back on, kitty wind is silly but angsty, hdw I’ve had lots of fun with plot and stuff... but I probably have to say brethren in a cradle.

I had the idea for it during the worst summer of my life, and part of what kept me going was that urge to share the silly idea I’d started to write, and the fact that other people also love it means so much to me. I love going back and reading the chapters of it I’ve managed to publish, and just working on it in general. It’ll always be special to me.

No pressure tagging @telemna-hyelle @hero-of-the-wolf @wolfwarden @adrift-in-thyme @only-lonely-stars <3

I have been tagged by @batrogers!!

1. How many works on AO3? 241

2. Total AO3 word count? 1.25mil. Almost to my 3rd AO3 anniversary :D (that's around 1,170 words every day for three years, not counting nonpublished words! Proud of that rate, even if it's slowing.)

3. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Status? about Four. I think this one hits the sweet spot for a lot of people: not too long, a bit angsty, but sweet.

so i admit that the mud didn't do much for me, about Hyrule. Actually the first fic I ever posted on this account, it's silly and I'm surprised to see it so high

incandescently happy, a post-LU happy ending. Posted little chapters every day for like a month which kept it in people's feeds so I think that's why it's so high

what is a stump supposed to do, a random Hyrule & Four one, honestly baffled why it's up here

Rise and Shine and Fall, my successful (by that I mean actually wrote and posted every day on schedule) Whumptober 2022 extravaganza compilation. I posted it all in one work, so it's higher than most other whump fics of mine, but there's a lot in it!

4. What fandoms do you write for? Zelda. In the past I wrote a tiny bit of Danny Phantom and a fair amount of FE3H!

5. Do you respond to comments? Always!! I admit to being SO VERY BEHIND right now, a couple months' worth. I'm trying to keep up on new ones, but I've had some beautiful wonderful readers going through my catalog and I can't always keep up!! XD

6. Fic with the angstiest ending: I don't write a lot of negative endings, so I think this badge goes to Counterbalance, my LU Darks AU. I'm actually fully in love with this fic, it's probably the best mix of silly and angsty I've ever written. It's full of what are essentially OCs but they're all my babies and I love them.

7. Fic with the happiest ending: incandescently happy, post-LU. The whole fic is essentially a fix-it ending, though LU doesn't have an ending yet. XD

8. Do you get hate? A couple silly comments trying to tell me I'm doing things wrong, but not really no! Oh, also can't forget the ask I got that was "Remember that Jesus is your first reader." I think that was meant to be passive aggressive but there's a chance it was meant like, genuinely? Not sure.

9. Do you write smut? Nah. And I don't plan to. Not my thing! Closest I get are vampire bites XD

10. Do you write crossovers? I swear I've done more but the only ones on my AO3 are a Vidow fic done in an original world (Nothing New Under the Sun (crystals, dumplings, jewelry)), and Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School, a Vidow retelling of a very fun vampire novel.

11. Ever had a fic stolen? Nope, but I did have one of my Vidow fake fic book covers stolen for someone's fake fiverr listing. Got it taken down with a DMCA but I was like, why

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Oh plenty. @enrolio and I spent most of 2020-21 lockdowns and beyond cowriting, mostly original stories (1.7mil) but a lot of fic, too (nothing published, but almost 400k worth.) We're currently in the process of working on a big epic original fantasy series, though that's a long-term project. @batrogers and I have done a few alt-POV-type projects too, which have been super duper fun!! Hope to do more.

In that vein too, I feel like the Bad End Links kind of qualify here—so much of the characters and their stories were brainstormed collaboratively and so many friends have contributed details and fics and art, it feels like a fun group project! I've really enjoyed working on it. :D (the encouragement and hype for it also helps a lot!! I'm really hoping to finish this big project out!)

14. All-time favorite ship? Ahhhh a harder question than you'd think, tbh, even if you're limiting it to fic. I've written the most for Vidow, and they're definitely up there (same with Fourdow though I've done less with them.) I do have to admit that Linhardt/Byleth might take the cake, though. They were the first ship I was ever actually obsessed with, and the first romantic pairing I wrote in fic.

I just really adore Linny in general, and I love how the pairing continues and closes off some of the themes in the Crimson Flower route of FE3H. That's the only route where Byleth doesn't become archbishop-slash-dictator, and I think choosing to live life in a small cottage, not particularly contributing too much to the government, builds nicely upon the themes of becoming human and choosing your own destiny, themes that are really missing from the other routes.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My old AO3 account (a couple FE3H fics and not much else) has a series where I wrote the beginning of a fic and then had several different endings planned, each a different ship with Linhardt, but I only ever wrote one. I'd love to read the rest but I have too many other fics calling my name!

16. Writing strengths? Um... Volume and speed? Also AUs. I think I can call myself good at fitting characters into new settings. Also fight scenes are fun and I think I do them well.

17. Writing weaknesses? I feel somewhat weak in the plotting and style realms.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue? You can't count on a reader to know not-tagged languages, so that has to be accounted for in the text.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Danny Phantom, in high school or maybe just after. That's late for a lot of fic writers but... there are reasons for that, and a different discussion!!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? This is an extremely rude question, because I love so many for different reasons. I write things I want to read!! Counterbalance (for the tone) and Blood-Sucker's Guide (for the finished novel plot) are up there but I linked them above, so I'll take the chance to call out a different few—Marvelous Misadventures is way up there, a Wind-focused modern with magic AU. I promise I'm still working on that last chapter (and the epilogue), I just gotta throw everything else aside one month and buckle down. Maybe June, I don't have any fic events planned and 06/23 was the last update. I think some earlier chapters need a refresh as well, once I have the ending written.

I'll also toss White Walls (medwhump, "non consensual body modification: the fic") into this category for how long it is and how proud I am to have finished even a collection this long, and a long walk, a Linked Nexus fic where I did so much math and had so much fun with it. :D

Tagging: @silvrash-797 @toyouhellohowareyou @nopenototdaysatan @skyward-floored :)

[aboardthescheherazade]

is it true that they removed mentions of tintin journaling/actually mentioning his job/etc when they redrew some of the older tintin comics? i swear i remember seeing examples of that once but i have no clue where to find them again

I definitely know which post you're talking about, but I can't find it either. I'll try to compile what I remember and/or know about offhand...

For the most part, the most references to Tintin being a reporter come early on in what are considered the "newsprint editions" of the comics. The first nine albums were serialized in Le Petit Vingtieme and Le Soir Jeunesse, and these pages were later re-collected and coloured (and occasionally cut down/rewritten) for what are now known as the "Casterman editions".

Tintin being a reporter is all over Land of the Soviets, and it's introduced as early as page 1. It's the silliest album, but it's also the only album thoroughly revolving around Tintin going on a reporting assignment.

(Soviets pg. 4. By God, look at that guard in the upper right. He looks like the RESPECT! butler)

Tintin is still a reporter in Congo, but it's scaled far back in the redrawn Casterman edition. In the latter, it's kept to one mention in the very first panel, which was also turned into the first appearance of Dupont and Dupond:

(Congo pgs. 1)

Meanwhile, the newsprint edition has a scene where newspaper agents try to scout Tintin as a reporter, I guess because his stories are just that good. He ultimately declines, claiming Petit Vingtieme is paying him way more than what they offer.

(Congo pg. 17)

Now, I'd had a theory that the series just became too plot-focused to keep pausing for references to Tintin's writing, but Reddit user XenophonOfAthens made a good point about Herge being forced to pause discussion of the press and current events after the nazis shut down Le Vingtieme, thus moving Hergé and many of the same staff to the nazi-overseen Le Soir and Le Soir Jeunesse. Tintin had been introduced as Le Petit Vingtieme's boy reporter who child readers could follow along with, but now with a new (heavily monitored) publication, mentions of the "boy reporter" slowly phased out.

One of the more significant edits to Tintin's reporting comes in Cigars of the Pharaoh. Sheik Patrash Pasha originally says he's followed Tintin's adventures for "several years" and presents a then-new Vingtieme publishing of Tintin in America.

In the colour edition, he instead presents Destination Moon. This album was in production at the time of the redraws, and it was one of the first albums to be published outside of Europe...but now Tintin's reaction is especially visceral, since that album involves him going to the moon with two people he hasn't met yet.

(Cigars B&W pg. 39, Casterman pg. 15. I also gave the Sheik's servant in the latter a quick edit because it was somehow worse than the 1933 version)

The last reference to Tintin's reporting for a long while was in The Broken Ear. We are now in the Soir era:

(Broken Ear pgs. 2)

This line never made it past the newsprint version. Tintin hears the news about the museum theft, and originally, he remarks that it'll make for a nice report...but in the reprint, he's just declaring that he'll go to the museum. I feel like the wording in the original could have referred to something specific about the comic's run in Le Soir Jeunesse, but it also could have been removed under the assumption that the reader would be going into this book knowing Tintin is a reporter. He does have a notepad with him through the rest of the page, but without that context, he just seems like a busybody.

I feel like there were a lot more references to his reporting in Le Journal Tintin, which is where the comic moved its publication to. This adds credence to the possibility that readers would be picking up these books knowing Tintin was a reporter, thus it being less of a focus within each album's plot. There do seem to be little hints throughout the albums about Tintin being a reporter...one of these is a moment in Explorers on the Moon where Tintin describes the moon's surface to ground control, and as a writer myself, this to me feels like him gathering his words for a future story:

(Explorers pg. 24)

However, Tintin's reporting is brought up in an album one more time, decades later, in Picaros. Tintin is referred to as a reporter on televised news, so this is at least some confirmation that he does submit journalist work, at least off-camera or between albums:

(pg. 47)

In short, Tintin's reporting started to fade off suspiciously during an era where nazis were breathing down Hergé's neck, then got a little lost in translation, and then ultimately came back.

My theory for Tintin's reporting slowly becoming less important in the albums happened either due to 1. Hergé and co. becoming more interested in writing about other things, 2. the series being moved to a vanity publication that discussed Tintin being a reporter outside of the canon comics, or 3. it got phased out during the Le Soir era because Hergé's supervisors didn't want to promote a gonzo journalist as a hero during a time with heavy political censorship and turmoil. It's completely up in the air.

[seilon]

If i don’t get an update soon on my god damn top surgery insurance negotiation im going to lose my fucking mind