#this one kept me up so many nights
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I have an idea for a Mergana fic
I have this Mergana Fic idea that I probably would never write because I am lazy, but I want to share it in case someone might want to write it.
---------------------------
It takes place during Servant of Two Masters (S4xE06), just before Morgana inserts the Fomorroh into Merlin's neck.
A young man (maybe 17 or 18) barges inside. He looks like a young version of Merlin except he has green eyes. Before anyone says anything, this man collapses instantly.
There is an awkward silence between Merlin and Morgana for a few moments before she is like, "is he your brother?" and Merlin is like, "I don't see any resemblance" but inside he is screaming, did my father have another son?
Then, she tries to wake the young man and soon came to the realization that he is drained magically, and they need to wait for him to regain consciousness on his own before asking any questions.
"Maybe he is a distant relative?" Merlin mumbles to no one, and Morgana, whose plan is momentarily put on hold, tells Merlin that she knows a way that can help unravel the mystery.
Despite Merlin's objection, Morgana performs the spell (requires a drop of blood from each man) and the result is "Parent". (There is a whole color palette that can help identify the link between two people.) But the spell doesn't specify who is the parent and who is the offspring.
Since it was not possible, Morgana decides to do the spell using her own blood, and she gets the same result as Merlin: "Parent".
"Maybe I did something wrong." She says, and they leave it at that.
Hours later, the mysterious man wakes up and he takes one look at the chained Merlin, "Is it a sexual thing?" he says, startling both Merlin and Morgana.
Morgana quickly unchains him and Merlin supplies without really thinking, "We're making sure the chains are robust."
The young man's name is William, and he was attacked and used magic to escape. He came across the hovel and was looking for a place to hide.
He claims that he has never seen Merlin before, and the latter is dying to ask if he knows Balinor.
William tells them his life story, that his parents died and that he was raised by his uncle.
Another person bursts in shortly after. The boy's uncle.
Here is the twist.
The uncle is actually Mordred, who kidnapped William (named after his father's childhood best friend) when he was an infant and killed his mother. He was raised not knowing who his real parents were and to hate Camelot and its king and his advisor Merlin because they were the reason behind William's parents' deaths.)
Chaos erupts when it turns out the danger William was trying to evade was Mordred, and his plan was to go back in time to save his mother after learning the actual truth. But the spell was too powerful and it left him weak.
William is like, "You killed my parents." and Mordred shouts back, "Your parents are dead because of you."
Here is another twist.
William recently killed Merlin (Furture version), thinking he was avenging his parents. But in reality, the boy's mother died trying to save her son from being kidnapped, and his father, on the other hand, died at the hands of the son that he spent years searching for.
Surprise!!
The kid is acually the son of Merlin and Morgana!!
"You killed your father?" Morgana asks William, who is too crestfallen to meet her gaze.
"Like mother like son." Mordred says with a snide.
More chaos.
"You lied to us?" Merlin accuses, while Morgana is too stunned to speak.
Once again, Mordred smirks and adds "Just like his father, isn't that right, Emrys?"
Even more chaos.
-----------
Please if you like the concept, write it, I really really want to read it.
#mergana#merlin#bbc merlin#i know how it ends but i am too lazy to finish writing the last part#bbc emrys#lazy writer#this one kept me up so many nights#i had to get it out of my system
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
I hope they don't make The Drifter and by proxy The Hex irrelevant by just leaving them in 1999 forever like how Excalibur Umbra stopped being story relevant.
#ok just gonna confess I sent this one in because it kept me up at night slightly when I got up to use the bathroom#the way Excalibur Umbra just immediately lost relevance in the story bothered me and I'm scared the same will happen to the drifter#like you can only make so many characters be relevant at a time or stretch yourself thin I get it but like.... ugh it just bothers me#is the drifter just stuck completing the kalymos sequence forever now? doomed to save a time loop over and over?#having their friends from the hex forget them over and over and having to play catch up every single time? sounds a bit... depressing?#warframe does a lot of good things but utilizing the full potential story telling of their characters is where they sometimes fall flat#this is one thing i will always kind of like... idk ding digital extremes points for is not utilizing characters to the fullest potential#while still recognizing that gives them room to tell more stories with the characters DE has given us#idk what they'll do with the hex given the giants found in the Entrati labs but idk i just don't want these beloved characters to fade#out of relevancy if that makes sense. The Hex syndicate should have a say on whether or not they come to the future.#I just don't want all these characters getting stuck in the past forever or something and no longer in the story. terrifying thought.#mod rose#warframe confession#warframe 1999#warframe#the drifter#the hex#hex finale#hex finale spoilers#excalibur umbra
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
i had one beer with one of my closest friends and my bf while we watched a country singer preform at a biker bar and it has been the greatest night of my life
#i just wish i could have gotten more drunk#very proud of myself for only having one beer but had i not been driving#i would have kept up with my friends#i WILL be getting plastered tomorrow for a coworkers going away party so that’s exciting#i can see why so many people take up drinking#had a scruffy daddy lean against me for like a minute straight#was so hot but was super weird#wasn’t sure if he was flirting with me#also made friends with this hot as fuck cowboy and we bonded over the performer we were watching#such a fun night#the biker bar we went to was right next to my old apartment and i was always terrified of going there because everyone seemed so threatenin#but everyone i interacted with was so friendly and open and just wanted to have a good time#the country singer came up to my bf and i after the show and gave us a hug which was so sweet
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
question: how did you discover/get into scooby doo?
this is something i'm always so interested to hear, being that there are few people who don't have at least some small tie to the franchise. whether you would consider it one of your biggest current interests or it's just something nostalgic from your childhood, i'd love to know how you found scooby and what it means to you!
#for me it was my dad! he grew up with the original show and wanted to introduce it to me#so one day when i was maybe? seven?? he came home with the winter wonderdog dvd and we watched it that night#from there we watched every single scooby doo movie that had ever been made#and got the new ones as they came out in subsequent years!#watching a new scooby movie with my dad every weekend are honestly some of my favourite childhood memories#also what's new scooby doo had also started airing on one of the main cartoon channels here in the uk around 2010#so that's the show i watched the most consistently as a kid#velma was my original favourite of the gang because i looked a lot like her (big glasses/same haircut/etc.)#people would always compare me to her and it genuinely gave me a lot of confidence in my appearance that stays with me to this day#but fred was always my firm second favourite - he made me laugh the most of any character#and took on a deeper meaning to me in my adolescence when i realised i was autistic and strongly identified with his portrayals as such#the characters are probably what's kept me coming back all this time - they've been with me forever#and i love them individually + as a team who support each other with their unique skills and love for one another#but also the wacky adventures and general aesthetic#many people joke about the basic plot being the same every time but it makes my autistic brain happy#i love permanence and consistency baby!!!!!#and the different variations on that same formula always keep things fresh and fun#anyway ramble over#looking forward to hearing you guys' responses! :D#scooby doo#nem misc posts :]
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
No seroquel means no sleep for me I guess. I've been trying for hours
#decided if im gonna be awake i may as well do something other than wallow in thoughts that cause me anxiety#just super fucked up that i went from believing i could no longer feel romantic attraction#to suddenly being flooded with feelings#and like he didn't even confess romantic feelings for me he just said hed be down to fuck sometime#usually id just be like yeah that's fine i don't usually catch feelings#so it's fucking me up that im having romantic feelings towards someone who probably doesnt feel that way#and it's fucking me up that i caught feelings from being TOLD he'd like to fuck we haven't even done that#sigh i can't pretend like those feelings weren't already there and just extremely repressed....#kept having so many dreams about being in love w him... I'd do everything i could to shake the feeling off#it comes down to insecurities#feeling like i make too many mistakes to be with someone as good as him#the fear that I'll stress him out#one of the most amazing people I've ever met. he has respected my boundaries for years#and i guess those boundaries were only firmly in place bc i knew deep down it would spark something#honestly i felt a huge spark hours before he even told me#whenever he came up behind me and hugged me on the neck#his lips accidentally brushed against my neck and i swooned#we haven't talked since that night but he said he wants to have a conversation about it when he's not busy#he has two jobs#his 2nd one lasting til 1am#but yeah thinking about what he might say is making me nervous#like what if he suddenly decides that it IS too risky#i don't think ill be able to kick these feelings#at least i let him know head on that i might fall in love w him if we pursue anything else#but we haven't even pursued shit!! and i feel this way already!!#i guess not ''in love'' but the crush is hard-fucking-core#the kind of crush i havent had since meeting my ex 7 years ago...#i forgot what the feeling was like. and it's.... so strong#.bdo
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kingdom of Ash Chapter 24
"What is this place?" Manon asked Glennis as she found the crone polishing the handle of a gold-bound broom beside the fire. Two others lay on a cloak nearby. Menial work for the witch in charge of this camp.
"This is an ancient camp-one of the oldest we claim." Glennis's knobbed fingers flew over the broom handle. "Each of the seven Great Hearths has a fire here, as do many others." Indeed, there were far more than seven in the camp. "It was a gathering place for us after the war, and since then, it had become a place to usher in some of our younger witches to adulthood. It is a rite we've developed over the years—to send them into the deep wilds for a few weeks to hunt and survive with only their brooms and a knife. We remain here while they do so."
Manon asked quietly, "Do you know what our initiation rite is?"
Glennis's face tightened. "I do. We all do." Which hearth had the witch she'd killed at age sixteen belonged to?
"You're not a cold person."
He arched a brow. "Is that your professional opinion?"
Manon studied him. "You can descend to those levels when you are angry, when your friends are threatened. But you are not cold, not at heart. I've seen men who are, and you are not."
"Neither are you," he said a bit quietly.
The wrong thing to say.
Manon stiffened, her chin lifting. "I am one hundred seventeen years old," she said flatly. "I have spent the majority of that time killing. Don't convince yourself that the events of the past few months have erased that."
"Keep telling yourself that." He doubted anyone had ever spoken to her that baldly-relished that he now did, and kept his throat intact.
She snarled in his face. "You're a fool if you believe the fact that I am their queen wipes away the truth that I have killed scores of Crochans."
"That fact will always remain. It's how you make it count now that matters."
Make it count. Aelin had said as much back in those initial days after he'd been freed of the collar. He tried not to wonder whether the icy bite of Wyrdstone would soon clamp around his neck once more.
"I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be, even if I wear their crown of stars."
He'd heard the whispers about that crown amongst the Crochans this week-about whether it would be found at last. Rhiannon Crochan's crown of stars, stolen from her dying body by Baba Yellowlegs herself. Where it had gone after Aelin had killed the Matron, Dorian had not the faintest idea. If it had stayed with that strange carnival she'd traveled with, it could be anywhere. Could have been sold for quick coin.
Manon went on, "If that is what the Crochans expect me to become before they join in this war, then I will let them venture to Eyllwe tomorrow alone."
"Is it so bad, to care?" The gods knew he'd been struggling to do so himself.
"I don't know how to," she growled.
Ridiculous. An outright lie. Perhaps it was because of the high likelihood that he'd be collared again at Morath, perhaps it was because he was a king who'd left his kingdom in an enemy's grip, but Dorian found himself saying, "You do care. You know it, too. It's what makes you so damn scared of all this."
Her golden eyes raged, but she said nothing.
"Caring doesn't make you weak," he offered.
"Then why don't you heed your own advice?"
"I care." His temper rose to meet hers. And he decided to hell with it-decided to let go of that leash he'd put on himself. Let go of that restraint. "I care about more than I should. I even care about you."
Another wrong thing to say.
Manon stood—as high as the tent would allow. "Then you're a fool." She shoved on her boots and stomped into the frigid night.
I even care about you.
Manon scowled as she turned in her sleep, wedged between Asterin and Sorrel. Only hours remained until they were to move out—to head to Eyllwe and whatever force might be waiting to ally with the Crochans. And in need of help.
Caring doesn't make you weak.
The king was a fool. Little more than a boy.
What did he know of anything?
Still the words burrowed under her skin, her bones. Is it so bad, to care?
She didn't know. Didn't want to know.
#Chapter 24#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more notes and annotations in the tags spoilers for the chapter & priors#anyone else getting Ramaelle vibes#we fly with you. — the significance of that line#Dorian and Vesta dynamics lol I love it#It'd be a boon for his friends. If they could survive it would be enough.#the heart mothers and fire and witch queen + just manon being manon at her best allowed proving even to her like Asterin said etc#It was now a matter of convincing his magic to become like that shifter's power.#Be what you wish Cyrene had told him. Nothing. He wished to be nothing.#Your wyvern seems like more of a dog than anything. It was not an insult Manon reminded herself. The Crochans kept dogs as pets.#Adored them as humans did. His name is Abraxos Manon said. He is ... different. He and the blue one are mates.#her mom mode and then her and Asterin realizing lol#“For love. These beasts despite their dark master are capable of love.#Nonsense yet some kernel in her realized it to be true.#Hurry northward the wind sang day and night. Hurry Blackbeak.#say It took you long enough to figure it out.#Gods above she was beautiful. He wondered when it would stop feeling like a betrayal to think so.#but Dorian kept peering inward a kind of therapy I guess and ignoring the whisper presence which is also good#None of this could end well. For either of them.#I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be even if I wear their crown of stars.#I like the ice best… Narene and Abraxos sitting in a tree… so much foreshadowing… change and liar… damaris is real or not real… many things#When they awoke something sharp in his chest had dulled-just a fraction#What he'd opened up revealed to her. A sort of freedom that letting go.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.post hookup yapping in tags.
#feeld: you are still my nemesis/your ui is trash - but this has made me hate using your app slightly less#i should have known it was going to be a problem when one of the first things out of their mouth was ‘so are you going to be good tonight?’#like fuck o f f#i have never been so immediately down bad for it - the wine betrayed me#the first time i’ve called someone d*ddy during sex in years#kept telling me how excited they were to ‘see how many different pathetic little noises you make’ when slapping me#i’m gonna throw up i cant stop thinking about their hands tugging me around by the hips at the bar and then to meet their thrusts later on.#soo many promises about next time#‘i want to collar you and drag you around/into alleys all night’#‘next time i’m fucking your ass while we find something for you to choke on’#‘wonder how long you could stay on your knees like that? just waiting for instructions like a good dog’#hnnngh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#so i finished my 4 out of 4th 12 hour shift in a row last night and i'm literally so exhausted and i was glitching mid simple tasks 🤡✌️#my coworker asked to change shifts so he could have that one specific day as off#and he managed to do some very critical mistakes in his 4 days prior and that's considering his gf is often with him there#and i was the one suffering the consequences even if it's literally not my fault#ever since i've got this job i've been fixing so many mistakes of his i kept wondering who's the newbie here??#like i try to leave my shift as good as possible i clean everything check everything and do all my duties#and when i come here after his shifts it's.. a fucktonne of work mistakes and literal dirt like dude!!!#4 shifts in a row never again man never again i am so tired my brain is nerfed and i can only rest for 1 day today because tomorrow i'm#going to a doc;#my social battery is not just dead it's nonexistent at this point#i just want to lay in bed and not be percieved or interacted with for at least the same amount of days 😫#i really thought i could take a socially demanding and rather multitasking job without it taking hugest toll on my mental state huh???#and i had such a bad sleep too i had a very graphic and sickening nightmare which woke me up 2 hours after i fell asleep#and then i woke 2 more times after that and i feel so exhausted and not rested at all and so fatigued i can't even do anything#man for me my sleep being interrupted is the worst like i function better if i have a smaller amount of sleep but it's uninterrupted#than longer in hours but it gets interrupted and i wake up even once#sorry i come here once in few days vent post and then dissapearvckfkv 😭 i miss tumblr but have no energy currently to even rb anything 🥲#tbd
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
saying "this is unbearable" abt things yet still continuing to bear them. give it up for the human spirit everyone 🙏👆👍💪💪💪❗❗❗
#guy who has given up 999999999 times but has then kept going 1000000000000 times despite it..#this is abt aforementioned work situations and also new awful work situation. this time i got yelled at by a customer bc i wouldn't leave#when i opened the glass case for them which is like. a showcase with these glass doors that only employees can open with specific keys in#which the more expensive bags & jewelry & watches etc reside and if a customer asks if we can open it so they can view or try on a thing#inside we have to stay by them until they're done looking or trying on and have decided they're gonna take it (or not) because we have had#things stolen so many times here u wouldn't believe. so we're told to stay thus i had to stay till she was finished and she didn't rlly lik#that one i guess.. anyway while i do not give a shit what a random woman thinks of me i am very bad with getting yelled at so. fun times.#still red in the face as i'm typing this. it's fine though i didn't cry 👍 a near thing though but that's also fine i'm gonna go to the#staff toilets and sneak my trusty wired earphones in with me and listen to whale song until i've calmed down#can't wait to get home and eat and shower and get in my sweatpants and drink a beer or possibly some wine and watch attorney woo and then#later this evening play a game on the ps5 with my siblings and eat late-night snacks and drink another beer or possibly some more wine and#forget all about the start of this day <33333 and scroll through tumblr somewhere in between there and also do my duolingo lest i lose my#stupid streak. peace n love on planet earth once i get home <3333#r.txt
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
under the cut, many words of an Ebil pondering whether it’s writing Wazukyan well or might be flanderizing the character by making him Care Too Much, in an attempt to overcompensate against readings where he Doesn’t Care At all:
i spent most of my initial viewing of s2 not particularly trying to understand what Wazukyan was 'really up to' as far as the motivations behind his actions bc i was too busy worrying about The Other Two Sages (as points of comparisons, i loved Vueko from episode one and liked Belaf from the same point but didn’t glom on to him SO hard until after ep7/8 and now I love them both so excessively much that it’s ridiculous.) But after finishing it and looking at the story as a whole it became clear analysis of that character was really rewarding in the context of the other ones i already liked, and now that i have/do try to put effort into 'getting’ him and became more interested in depicting the character as a result...lately I’ve become concerned that I risk adding to Boring Silly Readings Of Him.
there’s two interpretation that i think are not very interesting: ‘common fan take #1: he’s completely ruthless and uncaring, gives zero craps about Vueko, Belaf, Irumyuui, and likely the rest of the Ganja-tai, and only prioritizes his own wish to continue the journey’ (because this is simply not that interesting to think about and risks turning him into Bondrewd 2.0; though i also feel it is contradicted by some canon, but there is room for discussion there. feel free to throw an ask or message my way if this piques your interest or you’d like to Argue Politely over it) and ‘common fan take #2: LOL Wazuchad did Literally Nothing Wrong’ (this is mostly an attitude thing, and is distinct from ‘after consideration of the situation I personally believe his actions were justified’ or something. what i mean is people who meme about ‘Wazuchad’ are generally sweeping away the idea that there might have been any moral consideration to make at all and that is, again, boring. the entire arcs of all four characters (five actually, Fau too) fall apart as compelling if you aren’t even willing to consider the questions involved or accord any validity to not wanting Irumyuui to suffer.)
Readings i think are interesting tend to deviate from both of these either a little or a lot by adding complexity to how one views his goals, actions, and motivations, so that even if they may still land in the general category of ‘bad guy and did an indefensibly bad thing’ or ‘not a bad guy, did a bad thing but for compelling and human reasons’, he hasn’t been totally condemned or totally absolved on the way to either conclusion. Both of the flatter readings obfuscate the possibility he harbored genuine fondness for the other characters, and that’s what I want to push back on. I especially like thinking he cared about them a lot but this was counterbalanced by the need to save the rest of the crew (I always bring this up but it’s way too easy to forget 90% of the Ganja were already dead and drowned when they hit the Abyss, he can’t not have had thoughts about that?) and, of course, also his own ambition and desire (and yet in my reading his ambition was directly linked to the idea of a home for his people, not merely himself; the sense of homesickness and desire to journey on that Wazukyan articulates seems to be thematically linked to all of the characters in Ganja and be a cousin to the desire to see what’s at the bottom of the Abyss that most of the entire show’s cast feels). It’s complicated and sad and great.
BUT LIKE.
i’m afraid of accidentally creating ‘boring reductivist fanon #3′ if my depiction accords TOO charitable an interpretation to the guy and paints too rosy a picture of how much he cared about the others.
Like am I going too far in the other direction when I make him goofy and silly and a bit bumbling and genuinely caring, especially if I haven’t written all caps front and center in the same piece of fanwork that I understand the character has notably dark aspects to his actions and interactions with the others and the grim things his choices and his influence on them others’ choices ultimately lead to?
i don’t want to erase that he did stuff that makes your blood run cold, I just think it’s compelling to read the character as someone who did that while being very human and caring a lot about the others in the situation, because that’s a lot more interesting. I’m wrestling with this bc in the thing I want to finish next Vueko is thinking about how he was like a surrogate guardian to her at points in her life, and since it’s Vueko she obviously hasn’t forgotten anything he did towards the end of their time together and what it meant for her and her family and that comes up directly afterwards but I feel like someone could think ‘what is this story even doing, what is this apologism and flattening of Waz into some kind of friendly grandpa’. As much as I don’t want to see people Bondrewd him or Wazuchad him, I don’t want to Friendly Bumbling Grandpa him, which risks being boring and reductive in its own way. Alright that’s all, just wanted to ramble, input and comments from other san ken likers welcome tho.
#ebil writes#orphan hole tag#As Are Many Other Things About This Fandom For Me.....It Is All Vueko And Belafs Fault#i want a reading that is interesting for them but also don't want to mess up the existing characterization of him#also it is seriously a nonzero factor in how caring i tend to make him that he has Kotetsu's seiyuu#my hiroaki hirata based brainwashing#i just REALLY don't want to mischaracterize OR be a reductivist about any of the three sages#they're so cool and i definitely understand Waz the least#the most haunting reading that i still dont know how i feel about but definitely wouldn't mark as boring and flat is that he respected Vueko#as an individual and cared about her but DID NOT feel that way about Belaf and basically saw him as a tool. that one kept me up at night#considering that almost feels like an AU bc it's so far form how i see him but its a fascinating AU#if i ever make the threatened post about 'well i can see wazubela BUT WHAT IF--' i'm going to ahve to address how fucked up that would be#fucked up But Interesting#poor goddamn Belaf. <-- always saying this bc it can never be said enough
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Ed Iskandar talked with God. Then it was Lucifer’s turn. Now he was addressing Adam and Eve.
[...]
Right now, Iskandar was rehearsing the plays from Act I, including Madeleine George’s 10-minute piece about the Fall of Man, which she gives the elaborate title, “A Worm Walks Into A Garden or The Fall of Man, an experiment in motive and comedy.” In it, Lucifer tells dumb jokes to Adam and Eve, as a way of seducing them. Adam finds them funny. Eve doesn’t.
“You’re missing a crucial part of your anatomy,” Lucifer says to Eve. “The funnybone.”
Lucifer is being played by Asia Kate Dillon.
[...]
Dillon was writhing and entwining themself around Eve. Suddenly Chase Brock, the show’s choreographer, got down on the floor and started to writhe on the floor along with Lucifer. Brock had researched the earthworm, and showed some pictures of earthworms to Dillon on his laptop to suggest other moves they could make."
"50 different plays by almost as many different playwrights is a massive undertaking in which each vignette varies in tone from the one before it. The actors playing the characters do not change from play to play; this forces the performers to be as comfortable and convincing with farce as they are playing tragedy. It is also fascinating to contemplate the mental and emotional gymnastics that each performer of The Bats (the resident acting company of The Flea) must have undergone to ensure that each character maintains the same internal psychological throughline when they appear in different plays by very different authors.
The first act deals with the Old Testament books and the Nativity. In playwright Dale Orlandersmith’s Song of the Trimorph, the angels in Heaven mindlessly worship God (a deliciously petty, yet shrewdly authoritative Matthew Jeffers), who takes it as His due until Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) starts to question whether love without choice means anything.
Dillon’s beautifully delicate, white-haired devil is one of the show’s most complex figures. Watching them evolve from nuanced philosopher to diabolical heavy to world-weary cynic, depending on the vignette, is fascinating. The narrative speeds its way through the Bible. Highlights include Madeleine George’s surprisingly feminist take on the Adam and Eve story; Hwang’s marvelously urgent Cain and Abel tale, which posits the first murder as a story of vengeance against a capricious God; and Mallery Avidon’s whimsically horrifying tale of Noah’s Flood, which also entails the deaths of everyone who didn’t make it aboard the Ark.
[...]
The show’s second section deals with the Life of Jesus, with Colin Waitt’s astonishingly variegated boy-next-door Jesus shifting from an idealistic dreamer as he travels with Mary and Joseph to a forceful, almost angry philosopher when he argues with Lucifer about the nature of love to a bratty dolt when he confronts Gabriel about his inevitable fate. The fact that the playwrights clearly have a different idea of Jesus’s personality sets Wiatt a complex task: He has to make his Christ the same in all situations; whether he’s being comic or tragic, Wiatt is convincing and moving in a performance of stunning versatility.
Indeed, his likable turns in Gabriel Jason Dean’s beautiful Christ Enters Jerusalem makes his ferocious agonies in Qui Nguyen’s Christ Before Herod and his subsequent crucifixion all the more heartrending. The third act deals with Christ’s resurrection and humanity’s fate at the Day of Judgment, and includes a series of plays set in modern times, as well as God’s final words to Lucifer, Jesus, and to us. The show’s final Day of Judgment coda by Jose Rivera is an essay of forgiveness and unexpected love."
"Overall, the point of view of The Mysteries leans toward deism, the Enlightenment philosophy that presents God as a kind of clockmaker who created the universe, then left it alone to run according to its own laws. We see God squabbling with, then abandoning, Lucifer, setting in motion the events of the Bible, but even in Eden he is surprisingly enigmatic.
[...]
And, as one of the thieves killed with Jesus prophesies, it may all be for naught; he conjures up a future in which "the religion founded -- haha --upon your existence will be held up to justify the slaughter of millions over hundreds and thousands of years, for the brutal sins of domination and exploitation, the lynchings, the massacres and genocide, the relentless militarism. Everything you stood for will be erased."
[...]
In any case, the company is an almost constant joy. Among the more striking performances, [...] Asia Kate Dillon is a compelling presence as Lucifer."
"Four dozen playwrights take four dozen spiritual positions, which allows bubbles of radical reimagining to emerge only to sink again beneath the waves. For instance, our very first playwright, Dael Orlandersmith, paints Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) as a sweetheart Cordelia type refusing to curry favor with an insecure God (Matthew Jeffers). The fallen Light bringer keeps popping up throughout, and yet while Lucifer makes a number of solid points—many vigorously antichurch—they're still costumed as a blood-smeared reptile. Does evil exist? Or does it only exist when it can dress super cool?"
"It begins with a scene in heaven where we meet the lavish Angel Chorus that will be with us for the duration of the play, and witness Lucifer’s expulsion from heaven, something like in Milton’s Paradise Lost.
[...]
We also meet the rebellious Lucifer in that first scene in heaven, played with dazzling cynicism by Asia Kate Dillon, and at the same time the angel Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano, who, obedient to God, in contrast to Lucifer, struggles valiantly trying to make sense out of God’s commands and following through on them. These two, Lucifer and Gabriel, played by tall, striking people, fine actors who resemble one another, hold the vast array together like bookends.
The scenes in the Garden of Eden are delightful, played, appropriately in the nude, by Jaspal Binning as Adam and Alesandra Nahodil as Eve. Throughout the play, Biblical episodes are interpreted by the many playwrights in non-canonical ways and the first of these is brilliant: the knowledge the first couple gain through their disobedient eating of the apple is — how to tell a good joke and how to enjoy one!"
"Act I – The Fall begins with Creation and Lucifer’s fall from grace with God. Lucifer is played by a steady, radiant Asia Kate Dillon who reappears frequently to mix things up with earthlings and the rival angel, Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano makes goodness alluring. God is played by an extremely patient and multi-dimensional Matthew Jeffers whose sense of humor humanizes the Lord."
"As starting points, Dael Orlandersmith’s “Song of the Trimorph (Lucifer’s Lament)” and Liz Duffy Adams’s “Falling for You” are somewhat too abstract, particularly “Falling for You,” which has Lucifer wonder, “How can there be love in the absence of being?”"
"Starting with the Fall, we are introduced to the Angel Gabriel and the fallen angel Lucifer, played by two equally lissome and brilliant young actors, Alice Allemano and Asia Kate Dillon. They compete for God’s affections by using a chorus of singing punk angels."
"Asia Dillon as Lucifer brought the precise mixture of demonic delight and fragility necessary for such an adaptation: watching their performance was like looking at a raw cut in the bowels of the earth, brimming with fire and unimaginable sadness."
(no relevant quotes, but throwing in a brief pdf of a grantee project report that focuses on Engagement)
#edited out inaccurate misgenderings in favor of ''not tiresome'' over ''the Historical letter accuracy of the sources''#which are all right there to peruse as originally written too; so#lucifer isn't evil??? 0 stars. long play too long. ''not that enthused'' reviews are always Worse Quality for limiting the info & taking up#plenty of space with [what info Is given is dedicated to supposedly bolstering some specific ''didn't like that'' view of the author's]#just the kind of stuff that'd annoy me as i hate read movie reviews for things i didn't see in the newspaper at like age 12 metacritically#and that of course [just one person] as the norm whether for ''formal'' reviews or not; liking it or not....not the ideal format.#the emergent info or reflections on the same elements / effects of the material that comes from Various writeups by ppl? mwah.#and of course many include fun little Details / noting something that others don't. it comes with lore#the mysteries#asia kate dillon#lucifer the mysteries#lucifer mysteries#gospel48#unfortunately 2/3rds of the quoted articles on chase brock's page for the mysteries aren't online. cmon....#i feel like there might be one article i found the other night that didn't crop up in this search....might be conflating tweets or smthing#can just update it if so anyways....also again No Idea what the longer brown hair vs shorter ''white'' / blond hair is about lol#it kept being extended & that article i think was written in later months; maybe they cut it partway through#more plausible anyways than that they grew their hair out that hard in just a few months. that they also had during rehearsals. shrug#yeah just revisited my History and no other articles that i found last night (morning); none relevant re: akd lucifer mentions anyways lol#also that that was dialogue akd was delivering as lucifer during the crucifixion...was it given to someone else? is lucifer (probably)#taking the place of one of the fellow crucifees & delivering it; and the author focused on who they're standing in for?
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, update on the long distance situationship-- I'm so confused and frustrated about it.
Things we did:
Make out
Dance closely and suggestively
Speak about our feelings and other deep subjects at 3 am under the stars in front of the ocean
Let each other know we wanted to hook up
Swim and smoke weed in the ocean on our underwear at the crack of dawn
Things we did not do:
Spend more than 10 minutes completely on our own
Have sex
#oh but I TRIED and I KNOW he wanted to because he had a tent in his underwear!!#but here's the deal-- many things happened in between#first off his phone got stolen early into the night-- HUGE bummer and I don't blame him for getting upset bc i personally wouldve cried#and second (and this one upset ME a lot) he was anxious because his ex gf was at the club#the thing is-- he went and talked to her#left me alone for a while#and explained he was trying to avoid a scandal with her because she was not over him#so he kept 'hiding' me from her#it was weird#and later he told me some other stuff#how he didn't want to fuck things up with me#and how he was sorry about how some things went during the night#and that if it was not possible to hook up during the weekend there was no problem because 'he didn't want to rush it either'#(BUT I WANTED TO IM SO HORNY)#so that's basically it#im kinda mad at him ngl lol#and even if he was honest with me telling me many things#im still confused about his intentions#thank god we live in different cities tbh#imo he still has a lot of baggage from his previous relationship#he did tell me he wasn't looking for something with anyone so soon but then I came along and it turned out he liked me 🤦♀️#oh well... we'll see i guess#it's a patience game because he's not ready for something healthy and I'm not about to get into drama 👋#.... i think that's all.#its kind of a lot lol#stuff
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A month ago, I was back at my parents' house and my brother saw my keychain (that is a little plushie of wolfchan's head) and he goes "oh do you have only his head? interesting" and walks away. Back to now, not at my parents' anymore, back at university and everything, I get a package: a plushie of a full body wolfchan. I call my brother and he's with my mom, and she says that my brother had told them only yesterday because he thought the package had arrived yet and I hadn't received so he was worried. Bro istg <3
#like there's so many layers#the wolfchan is fake and like one of those made in china? for sure!#does it matter????? not at all!!!!!!!!!!!#this boy has no money. he does not work.#the money he saves up is because my parents give him money to have lunch at university sometimes#or like to get uber and stuff#so the fact he didnt tell my parents means that he spent his own money on that#which does not matter the number!!!!! because it could be 1 or 2 or 50 dollars#in the end it has literally the same weight and i know that because that's the same for me#1 dollar does make a difference#and still he bought it when he could have asked and my parents would give him the money (probably)#the fact also that he bought it while i was still there#it reminds me of all the nights we spent playing cod for like hours and hours and hours#and talking about random things and how he always kept me company#and when he asked about the keychain and how he came up with the idea of#'oh she has the head and she loves this little object. therefore i must get her the whole being'#he actually texted me yesterday asking if 'i had received a brick from the mail' and i was like i beg your pardon?#he was super sus but like i thought he had bought something and put my address by mistake#because it usually has my address saved on websites and stuff#but no!#he's just very sweet!#and i love him!#i love him being super supportive of my obsessions <3#even if its kpop <3#and stray kids <3
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :
#miranda talking shit#I feel a bit guilty too... I think thabks to my meds i am taking this better than normal but yeah#Fabian and me have only like spoken twice over the past month or two? Which is not much#Considering we have basically talked almost daily for years (a minimum at once per week) ...#The irony is that he implied that he was too big of an part of my life before we had this ... Break#... But as far as i know the few friends he have... Are the ones we have in common. Two irl friends . And me#Hes .... Been feeling lonely. He is now. He wants to talk to people etc and im like ): ...#I... Like oliver said 'i think fabian takes solitude a lot harder than you do. He does mind being alone' and yeah...#I think i may have unintentionally made him rely on me rather hard for socializing... For years hes basically only been in my social 'hot'#Zone. And now he have ended up in my 'cold' zone for the first time for this long... Like oliver said i dont mind solitude.#I grew up playing pretend on my own 80% of my time at home. Now i can get in isolation periods where im focusing on a video game#And literally not... Talk to anyone for a month or more. Then i talk to someone again and i realize i had been lacking social time but i#Dont actively... Feel it. I only get lonely at night badly id like to share bed with someone. But ... Yeah. Fabian is probably used to#Getting all this attention from me constantly and now im... Not providing it. Bc im focusing on other people socially...#I said im glad he shared feeling lonely with me and that i am here for him etc but...#I feel like ive failed him. Is failing him. Idk... I know its not my fault and so on but... My social... Functions have many downsides#I probably make people feel very special. I love to listen and ask about everything and encourage them and such. But then i can just stop#Talking for a long period of time and its .... Its never intentional but its how ive always been. Its why ive always kept to having like 3#Friends up until becoming an adult and now jts... Its hard. I love many people and i want to give them as much of me as possible at a time#So instead of dividing myself to everyone always... I give one or two people all my attention at a time
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my firmest beliefs is that "safe spaces for men" will not solve the issue of male radicalization and patriarchy. If you want men to stop becoming terrorists you need to target the true source of misogyny: male socialization. Once a young boy is taught by his parents that women are inferior to him he is doomed to bigotry, because he lives in a world that will constantly reinforce this idea and reward him for agreeing. As for adult men who are already misogynists, the only way to convert them to feminism is to stop coddling them (and yes, I see all of the "safe spaces for men"/"male mental health" discourse as coddling). Coddling abusers only enables them (and yes, bigots are inherently abusers)! You can not convince an abuser to change by coddling/gentle guidance as this will only embolden them. We can only make men change by holding them accountable for their behavior as a class, period. I think that the best way to do this on a mass scale would be via reeducation camps, but we all know that westerners would see that as unethical somehow. So, our next best bet would be forcing our governments to create feminist programs that aim to do the following: stop domestic violence, "reform" abusers and rapists with court mandated abuser counseling, and educate young people on gender studies, safe sex, and relationship practices. China has a program called "the Ministry of Health and Family" which was created to stop misogynistic violence, and once it was instated their domestic violence rates plummeted. China did not create safe spaces for men to reduce terrorism- they held them accountable and it worked. We should follow in their footsteps. EDIT: I added screenshots and whatnot. nothing to see here, really Im just kinda seething.
I took screenshots of these comments that i made under the original post because I just knew that OP would block me after I wrote this- not because its any harsher than the other replies (in fact mine was pretty tame compared to some of the responses) but because I am spitting straight facts and OP is a misogynist. I just wanted to repost them here for my own safe keeping and sanity ig. I didnt care for the idea of discussing this with OP directly since I knew they wouldnt be interested in a feminist POV, but I was hoping that my comments would be seen by the audience. It bothers me when people make these huge discourse posts and then block certain commenters solely because they dont want their friends to see the opposing responses. It especially bothers me in this case because as we speak OP is fiercely & performatively "debating" with TERFs who obviously wont change their minds- yet they blocked me immediately (though I wasnt interested in directly speaking with them) because they knew my comments made them look bad, and Im willing to bet that they told themselves they "felt unsafe" or something to justify it.
Like, just say you hate women and go... :EDIT over
There should be actual self-help spaces for men (and especially young men) that aren’t just alt-right recruitment centers.
As a person who was a dude the places I wanted to go to with kind people (usually queer people) had at least a few people saying that “men are trash” or “men are inherent dangers” with no pushback and it scared me.
I’m decently emotionally mature and realized that just because some outliers were assholes didn’t mean the whole place was terrible but what about younger or less emotionally mature boys? They see “oh men are trash” and see no pushback then think “Oh. These people do not like me for something I cannot change. These other people (Jordan Peterson fans) like me for who I am (they don’t but they say they do). I will go to the place I feel safer and happier.”
Without a kind safe space for boys then they will go to these toxic places. I used to read a good amount of posts on r/Teachers and a lot of them are saying the boys don’t respect them, love people like Andrew Tate, so on and so forth. This is what happens when the only “safe spaces” for boys aren’t actually safe.
#Trigger Warning for mentions of SA and bigotry in the tags#Creating safe spaces for men and censoring women will not break this cycle-- if it could#then the cycle would have already been broken tenfold.#feminists have tried to create safe spaces for men and they have spit in our direction for the last two decades#bc they literally DO NOT want a safe space if it means that they need to better themselves!!!#anecdotal example here:#I “lost” a male friend to inceldom a little while back and when I saw the signs I took significant steps to try to help him#he was struggling with depression (as was i) and we talked about his feelings at length.#i suggested he see a therapist many years ago- when we were in high school. then again when he was in college. then again when he graduated#he never went nor even looked into one. not once.#he was struggling with finding a girlfriend as well#so i also gave him pointers on how to get better with women and how to score dates and appear more attractive. he took NONE of my advice.#i had trouble finding girlfriends as well. and when i told him “its challenging for everyone” he didnt even acknowledge it#because he subconsciously felt that as a man he was owed a girlfriend- making his failure to find one “extra bad” compared to mine.#and every step of the way he kept claiming that i had "no idea what he has going through” because i was female#even though it is statistically way easier for a straight man (him) to find a girlfriend than it is for a lesbian (me) to find one.#and before i knew it he was telling me about the pickup artist books he was reading. and when i told him to stop he refused to listen.#and on and on and on. until finally one night he told me over the phone that his biggest fear was being falsely accused of rape#as a response to me telling him about my trauma with being raped by multiple men...#i realized in that moment that he was a full-blown fascist. i hung up on him and no longer speak to him.#looking back i realize that my attempts to help him failed because i could not undo his misogynistic upbringing.#i could not undo his idea that he was “owed” female companionship- nor the idea that his feelings were more important than those of others#so creating a safe space for him as his friend not only failed to help him but it backfired and traumatized me.#& hes NOT an outlier! similar things have happened to several men that I grew up with. all of which i tried to help and be a good friend to#bc misogynistic men do not want safe spaces or therapy or any of that. they just want to own women & hurt gender minorities with no pushbac#& they will never feel welcome in any space that does not allow them to do this. no matter how PC you are.#anyways#feminism#feminist#womanism
3K notes
·
View notes