#As Are Many Other Things About This Fandom For Me.....It Is All Vueko And Belafs Fault

[burinazar]

under the cut, many words of an Ebil pondering whether it’s writing Wazukyan well or might be flanderizing the character by making him Care Too Much, in an attempt to overcompensate against readings where he Doesn’t Care At all:

i spent most of my initial viewing of s2 not particularly trying to understand what Wazukyan was 'really up to' as far as the motivations behind his actions bc i was too busy worrying about The Other Two Sages (as points of comparisons, i loved Vueko from episode one and liked Belaf from the same point but didn’t glom on to him SO hard until after ep7/8 and now I love them both so excessively much that it’s ridiculous.) But after finishing it and looking at the story as a whole it became clear analysis of that character was really rewarding in the context of the other ones i already liked, and now that i have/do try to put effort into 'getting’ him and became more interested in depicting the character as a result...lately I’ve become concerned that I risk adding to Boring Silly Readings Of Him. 

there’s two interpretation that i think are not very interesting: ‘common fan take #1: he’s completely ruthless and uncaring, gives zero craps about Vueko, Belaf, Irumyuui, and likely the rest of the Ganja-tai, and only prioritizes his own wish to continue the journey’ (because this is simply not that interesting to think about and risks turning him into Bondrewd 2.0; though i also feel it is contradicted by some canon, but there is room for discussion there. feel free to throw an ask or message my way if this piques your interest or you’d like to Argue Politely over it) and ‘common fan take #2: LOL Wazuchad did Literally Nothing Wrong’ (this is mostly an attitude thing, and is distinct from ‘after consideration of the situation I personally believe his actions were justified’ or something. what i mean is people who meme about ‘Wazuchad’ are generally sweeping away the idea that there might have been any moral consideration to make at all and that is, again, boring. the entire arcs of all four characters (five actually, Fau too) fall apart as compelling if you aren’t even willing to consider the questions involved or accord any validity to not wanting Irumyuui to suffer.) 

Readings i think are interesting tend to deviate from both of these either a little or a lot by adding complexity to how one views his goals, actions, and motivations, so that even if they may still land in the general category of ‘bad guy and did an indefensibly bad thing’ or ‘not a bad guy, did a bad thing but for compelling and human reasons’, he hasn’t been totally condemned or totally absolved on the way to either conclusion. Both of the flatter readings obfuscate the possibility he harbored genuine fondness for the other characters, and that’s what I want to push back on. I especially like thinking he cared about them a lot but this was counterbalanced by the need to save the rest of the crew (I always bring this up but it’s way too easy to forget 90% of the Ganja were already dead and drowned when they hit the Abyss, he can’t not have had thoughts about that?) and, of course, also his own ambition and desire (and yet in my reading his ambition was directly linked to the idea of a home for his people, not merely himself; the sense of homesickness and desire to journey on that Wazukyan articulates seems to be thematically linked to all of the characters in Ganja and be a cousin to the desire to see what’s at the bottom of the Abyss that most of the entire show’s cast feels). It’s complicated and sad and great. 

BUT LIKE. 

i’m afraid of accidentally creating  ‘boring reductivist fanon #3′ if my depiction accords TOO charitable an interpretation to the guy and paints too rosy a picture of how much he cared about the others. 

Like am I going too far in the other direction when I make him goofy and silly and a bit bumbling and genuinely caring, especially if I haven’t written all caps front and center in the same piece of fanwork that I understand the character has notably dark aspects to his actions and interactions with the others and the grim things his choices and his influence on them others’ choices ultimately lead to?

i don’t want to erase that he did stuff that makes your blood run cold, I just think it’s compelling to read the character as someone who did that while being very human and caring a lot about the others in the situation, because that’s a lot more interesting. I’m wrestling with this bc in the thing I want to finish next Vueko is thinking about how he was like a surrogate guardian to her at points in her life, and since it’s Vueko she obviously hasn’t forgotten anything he did towards the end of their time together and what it meant for her and her family and that comes up directly afterwards but I feel like someone could think ‘what is this story even doing, what is this apologism and flattening of Waz into some kind of friendly grandpa’. As much as I don’t want to see people Bondrewd him or Wazuchad him, I don’t want to Friendly Bumbling Grandpa him, which risks being boring and reductive in its own way. Alright that’s all, just wanted to ramble, input and comments from other san ken likers welcome tho.

[burinazar]

As I said in my reply I’d love to explain! Buuuut Tumblr actually kept breaking on me when I tried to write it in a reblog (maybe it was too long idk) and after trying multiple times I gave up and made it a Google doc.

Alternatively, there’s a way shorter version of “why I like Belaf” here in the first half of the post (that one also has several funny pictures I drew of myself and the sages) but given your tags make it sound like this is stuff you’ve probably already heard I also went all in on a fuller explanation in the Google doc. Anyone else who harbors curiosity (ex.: mutuals who are like 'what is this thing that has afflicted my dear moot Ebil, it used to be sane when we met through another fandom') can check it out too. spoilers for Made in Abyss season 2.

I left out some things (like reasons I find the character personally very attractive in a way I feel about very few others, and why ships with this character are very appealing to me to work with), partly for length and partly bc those topics sometimes aren’t well received u_u But it’s still way too long lol.

can i be completely fr i get why belaf is LIKABLE but im,,,, confused? curious? on what exactly makes him a FAVOURITE for so many fans like i don't mean any shade ofc!!!! He's interesting and cool and fun but for me he's just kinda there.... 👀 Like Belaf fans if you see this lemme know what makes him STAND OUT to you bc i wanna see it too 😭😭😭

[burinazar]

I'm sure you've mentioned it before, but I was wondering who your favorite Made in Abyss character is and why they're your favorite? :3

I love all the main kids as well as many other characters so it's hard to choose but I think I'd have to say mine is Faputa. Not only is she a super interesting and cool character, but she's also A Creature. A little ball of fluff that can kill

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Thank you very much for the ask, anon! haha, "little ball of fluff that can kill"...yes, Faputa is great, and I think the main cast of Abyss is very endearing and very well fleshed-out. I was having a nice exchange on AO3 the other day regarding how GOOD the characterization of Abyss is and how it's often overlooked in favor of the also-extremely-good worldbuilding and plot, and why that might be, and was considering how it links together with some of my other Thoughts about ways this fandom is different from my other ones as far as what people are into (I need to finish the self-reblog I was gonna do about that on a recent related post actually). Anyway, pretty much the whole cast is endearing and/or enjoyable to watch in some capacity. But there is a definite answer as to favorite(s).

I put these up on my wall this evening, which may help to answer your question.

(Please note the scrolls. I missed the Amiami preorder period for those two because they closed earlier than the rest for some reason, but was able to get them from Suruga-ya eventually. They'll be on the wall at some point too.)

The story and cast prior to s2 I enjoyed in a, like, normal way, and then the Ganja squad arc hit me like a damn asteroid. These people...I've thought and felt and said so much about them, and after a year and a half I'm still brimming with something that feels like it has to be poured out, onto blank canvases and into the written word, and there's no end in sight. I have never had characters that were such good muses to me except perhaps for a couple I made up myself. Belaf has to be called my favorite at this point, but for a long time it was Vueko, and I really, really like Waz too; the manner in which these three characterize one another makes it a little painful to try to separate and rank them, but yes, that's the order. I dote on B and V in particular.

(Self portrait circa August 2023.)

At this point I have so much to say about them that being asked why I like them is hard to answer succinctly. Belaf is so, so sweet, but in an unusual weird, intense nerd way that I find incredibly endearing .....and then that kindness and strength of character fucking destroys him and it's tragic and beautiful and there is so much to pick apart in the manner and meaning of his transformation and his absolution, and it's also a great deal of fun to depict him as he was before. "Before" Belaf is such a fun sort of quirky nerd and his relationships wth Waz and Vue and Iru offer, like, SO much to turn over and look upon fondly, humor and friendship and loyalty and love.

And yet, when I write about his years of friendship with and loyalty and closeness to Wazukyan and Vueko and his parenthood and tutelage of Irumyuui and (note: hallucinatory) camaraderie with the other Ganja, hanging over my shoulder always is his downfall and it makes all of those things so much more beautiful, the tinny note of tragedy that is always playing at the edge of our hearing once we see it all and know how it must end.

(Another crispy fried self portrait from last year. I don't really draw myself these days at all EXCEPT in the context of making fun of my sages obsession.)

As for Vueko, since she's fairly popular maybe explaining her appeal isn't needed...or maybe it is, because it's so much more than the shy and gentle and somewhat silly person she is on the surface, it is so, so much more. Under the Layer of Fuheh she's made of steel --it's just that she's very, very softspoken, which people mistake for passivity and spinelessness. Even fans who purport to like her sometimes reduce her to victimhood and weakness. Perhaps because it's a misconception she clearly holds about herself, and a viewer can be forgiven for not putting together that Vueko might literally be the sage that acts with the most agency. There's so much more I can say that I love about her and her story, especially in the context of the other characters and the way she subtly skews some narrative and trope-related expectations, but I think that's the heart of it -- yes, she was endearing as soon as I met her, but when I saw the subtle yet unmistakeable strength under it all (and parsed that she never saw it herself, I think that little pop of tragedy really makes it hit for me lol), I think that's what made me adore her.

This next little bit might be kind of fucked up but what really makes that strength into something that haunts and compels me is that Vueko has so much determination and strength of character that she will unhesitatingly act to destroy the people she cares about very very much if she has decided at that moment that it is the best thing for them (Irumyuui, Belaf, Irumyuui again.) I can trace the real beginning of my obsession with these characters to when s2e8 aired and this is pretty much why.

So...yeah. Belaf and Vueko! Aaaand there's no way I can write about Waz here without making this post way too fucking long but.

One more shitty self portrait from earlier in the obsession should do it.

Yep!