#this one felt like it took forever but it actually took less time than usual

[lyn-ne]

Still waiting for my vbs beach event sega

[autistichalsin]

Some of my favorite, understated moments with heartbreaking implications for Halsin

1. Halsin threatening to turn into a mouse in the epilogue if the player brags about his achievements- he's so shy and humble that just being acknowledged for LITERALLY BUILDING A COMMUNE HIMSELF makes him want to hide. A mouse is a very symbolic choice here: not only easy to hide, but also easily overlooked and forgotten. The idea of his accomplishments being acknowledged is so terrifying for him that he wants to turn into an animal no one will notice, instead of his usual strong, large, noticeable bear.

2. "Sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." This isn't the kind of thing that happens after one or two people act like jerks. This is years and years of cruel treatment, of his emotions being demeaned and mocked because of his size. Of people judging him before even meeting him- and forming an entirely wrong view of him. Halsin is a bighearted, tender, sentimental man, yet because he's big... Well, big people don't have feelings, surely. /s

3. "You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach[...] Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found," combined with, "There is a particular discomfort to besting one you know to be weaker than yourself - even when needs must," from a different scene. People have sought him out and fought him because of his size (which had to have been terrifying, especially the first time), and he feels guilty when he takes out someone he knows is weaker, even if they STARTED it. How many times has the poor guy been traveling and then had to defend himself against someone 1/2 his size, making HIM look like the asshole to onlookers, and reinforcing that whole "people think I can't be hurt" thing?

4. "It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..." (About the players' paths diverging post brain battle), combined with "I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless," if the player breaks up with him in the ending. This poor guy was having the time of his life adventuring with the group (and possibly falling in love there) yet never believed it would truly last (because of his abandonment issues). And then to have it confirmed.... he must have felt so awful in that moment, even if he was being dignified about it.

5. "You came for me... thank you. I feared Orin's accursed smile would be the very last sight I beheld," when Halsin is freed from Orin, combined with, "Orin's blades. I hoped my friends would save me..." If he is killed by Orin instead and Speak With the Dead is used on his corpse. The tone of his voice in the first line, especially added to that bit in the second... he never thought the player was coming to save him. He HOPED they would. Not "believed". Hoped. He thought he was going to die there- just like how he was in the Underdark for THREE YEARS and no one came to save him. And if it's confirmed... Yeah. That. (Sidenote: if you ask his corpse if he has any regrets, he says not telling Thaniel and Oliver goodbye, and not getting to see their land flourish. :( My heart. :( )

6. "I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth." Halsin was so miserable and stressed being Archdruid that he romanticized his past as a sex slave, viewing it as a safer, even happier alternative. There were actually times when Halsin thought he might rather be a sex slave than continue to be Archdruid. In a sense, for the 100 years the Shadow Curse was around, Halsin was just as much a prisoner as Thaniel was in the Shadowfell, but Halsin's prison had invisible bars. The Shadow Curse took away his entire support system, and being Archdruid forced him to be the strong one, always, never allowed to be weak or scared, forced him to take control of situations when he hated it, forced him to spend his time sorting out people instead of being in nature. And he was MISERABLE. For 100 years.

7. "You understand me almost perfectly. Only my late mother may have bested you." (Said if you get one question wrong at the love dryad test). He misses his mama. :( Especially when you consider that if you steal Balthazar's "Mother Dearest" and taunt him about it, Halsin disapproves (and is the only one to do so), while returning her gets you approval (which only Halsin approves of). And then the line when you look into a mirror while controlling him, "more like my father, with each passing day..." He really misses them. :(

8. "I am loathe to see anyone behind bars. It reminds me of my time as a guest of the goblins." He is, secretly, still quite traumatized from his time in the goblin pens, but he brushes it off. Just like every OTHER time he is hurt.

9. "I am aware [of having a habit of getting captured]. Perhaps I put too much faith in my skills of negotiation, or want to see good where there is none. It would be easy to resort to nature's fury whenever something stood in my way, yet I cannot help but feel I would be sullying the Oak Father's gifts. Naive perhaps... but I still draw breath." Halsin is aware he gets hurt often because of his desire to see good in people until he has no other choice, but refuses to give up anyway (which is backed up by that letter Gut had on her where she reveals Halsin TRIED to help the goblins, saying he could cure them of their tadpoles, only to be thrown in the cage, with Gut threatening to have his stomach cut open and maggots placed inside it.) Further, even though he is an Archdruid, and one of the most devoted, and explicitly has Silvanus's favor (Halsin says that gaining his favor was the only way he was able to open the portal to the Shadowfell), he still constantly worries about using Silvanus's powers, to the point of wondering if an actual threat to his safety actually merits using his powers. Which... combined with some other stuff, reads like one hell of a problem with self-worth.

10. "At least you were not present. Grim as [the ruined battlefield] is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory[...] I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost" combined with, "I was [present when the Shadow Curse was unleashed]. Part of my spirit was shorn away from me here, and never left," and, if Last Light falls, "All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago[...] We are [still standing]. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time." He has so much PTSD and survivor guilt from the Shadow Curse. :( No wonder it's all he can think about- to the point that some of the other companions even get annoyed at him for his obsession.

11. "I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you." Not only does this tie in with the above, with his PTSD from the curse and his utter misery at being Archdruid, but this HEAVILY implies Halsin had depression. Like... that "fog" line hits HARD if you have or have had depression, because that's exactly what it feels like. And the "forgetting who I was" bit too. Not just losing his sense of self to the depression, but to the neverending responsibilities of being Archdruid. I keep repeating myself, but damn, this guy has really and truly spent an entire century being absolutely MISERABLE. :(

12. "Forgive me. I... lost the run of myself. Sometimes, if blood runs hot enough, it's difficult to tame the beast." With that little disgusted groan/sigh, the fury and disgust at himself visible on his face, and the way he rushes to get out the rest of it- he thinks he fucked up so badly that you're about to leave him, maybe forever. And then if you reject him after this? "Ah... I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then." He has the most heartbroken look on his face here, and the way he says "of course" like he just... knew this was coming the instant he accidentally wildshaped. He felt that the first time he let ANY of his imperfections show, the player would leave him. :(

13. "Death is nature's final slumber - it awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair - not while there are still folk in need of your help." (Said to a Dark Urge if they tell him they're not much of a hero and most people needing them end up dead) Not only is Halsin speaking from experience here, but it's very clear he is STILL doing exactly what he tells Durge not to do, to himself- punishing himself over those who were lost, struggling with devastating survivor guilt.

14. "The grove has cut itself off from the world, to jealously guard its own little pocket of nature. No one shall ever enter or leave again. And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps..." If the Grove is sealed and you ask him about it later, this is what he says. Interesting that he views being evicted from the place he was in charge of protecting to be a "telling summary." He was forced to take the leadership role there, and yet it was clear he wasn't wanted or respected by a great number of the Druids (exempting Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis). He got a truly thankless job that took damn near EVERYTHING from him emotionally/mentally, causing him to develop depression and causing him to backslide in his previous healing from his trauma from his time as a sex slave, he still gave EVERYTHING to the Grove, and in return...... almost none of his Druids appreciated or even liked him. (I could seriously write at least five metas about how obviously miserable Halsin was at the Grove, despite caring for it deeply).

15. "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." Said at the epilogue to a solo romanced player who went to the commune with him. There's so many layers of heartbreak here. He is still surprised, six months later, that the player chose him. He even thinks the player will regret it, and will decide they want an adventurer's life after all after seeing everyone else. He doesn't think he is good enough- doesn't think he deserves the player, and yet at the same time he loves them so much that he is heartbroken over the possibility they might agree with him. He thinks that given a chance, there is little chance they would actually choose him again. (He is put at ease quickly when the player promises they picked him for a reason, but even the explanation he gives for why he was so worrie is heartbreaking- that he's so used to a tumultuous life that he thinks something must go wrong. He has been so traumatized so many times over the years that he just has almost no ability to think that true happiness is possible [or deserved] for him.) Something about that is just heartbreaking, even though his ending is one of the happiest of any of the companions.

Someone give this sweet bear man a hug, please :(

[mytheoristavenue]

DS Kyojuro Rengoku x Reader 🍋 - Something In The Air

Kinktober 2024 - II

Sex pollen + public sex

Summary: You've been training to go out for missions with Rengoku for ages, but nothing could have prepared you to have a demon with the power to stimulate arousal- in the middle of a crowded market, no less!

Warnings: Sex pollen trope, public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, fem!reader, breeding, rushed/short, fluffy ending, pregnancy, Senjuro mentioned, mentor x mentee dynamic at first

You could hardly contain your enthusiasm, you'd trained for what felt like forever in order to have the privilege of accompanying hashiras on missions. Today was finally the day of your first one and you couldn't be more excited to show off what you could do- especially to the man walking beside you. You'd admired Rengoku ever since meeting him shortly after final selection and it was only natural that that respect would grow into attraction the more you got to know him.

Currently, he led you to a bustling trade village, home to a well-known market which many people tended to come far distances to attend. He was rattling off lists of why this market was so special, and you were trying to listen in earnest, but you couldn't focus, too stuck on some sweet smell that had suddenly hit your nose. Apparently, he smelled it too.

"I love coming to this market," He smiled over his shoulder at you. "It's a long pathway, filled with all things tasty." You couldn't help but giggle at his sunny disposition, feeling even more fond of him than you usually did. "Though, I've never smelt this scent before, one of the vendors must have something new to offer. We should try it before we leave, providing the demon doesn't cause too much damage to the surrounding area, of course."

You nodded with a shy smile, catching up to him as the village came into view. Dusk was beginning to settle in and the many lights of the town were starting to flicker on. It was like watching the market awaken over the horizon, casting a lovely amber glow over the pair of you.

As you drew nearer, that smell persisted, gaining potency with every step. The saccharine aroma began to overwhelm your senses as you approach the village gate, so you decided to pick up the conversation, hoping to distract yourself. "So, do we know anything about this demon?"

Rengoku thought for a moment before smiling again. "I took the time to do some reconanance before this trip," He began, slowing his pace so you could walk side by side with him with less issue. "It would appear this demon is match maker."

"A match maker?" You repeated curiously. "Like someone who arranges marriages?"

"Precisely." He replied with a proud grin. "According to locals, marriage and birth rates in this area have skyrocketed over the last decade."

"Isn't that a good thing?" You tilted your head up to look at him, something that made his heart skip a beat. "What's so bad about people falling in love?"

"Love is a human emotion, it's not something that a demon can feel or replicate." He explained, quickly regaining his composure. "So what these people are experiencing is just an intense, prolonged infatuation, they're not actually falling in love. The effects seem to wear off after about a year, or when stress is introduced to the relationship."

"And babies can be quite stressful," You finish his thought, filling him with pride at your intuitiveness. "And divorce isn't legal in Japan, so these people are just stuck in loveless marriages. How awful! Why would any demon do this, just toy with people's hearts?"

"It would seem the children of these unions have been going missing," Rengoku reveals, suddenly turning serious. "It's possible one of the reasons is to cultivate a lasting food source." You were horrified, to say the least. Interfering with the hearts of men, eating children? Just how evil was this demon? "Don't fret, my dear," His voice suddenly pulled you out of your thoughts, charming and full of tender confidence. "Together, you and I will slay this demon and free this village from its torment."

"And what about the couples affected by it?" You asked quietly, thoughts flooding back in quicker than he could dispel them.

"We can only hope that they'll genuinely fall in love through bonding over their shared experience." His smile faded a bit upon realizing he couldn't fully put you at ease, but was somewhat relieved when you asked a slightly unrelated question.

"So, how will we know when we find this demon or their work?" You asked curiously, tilting your head up at him again. This time, not only did his heart skip a beat, but he also felt heat pool in his belly. It must be some sort of anxiety for the battle ahead, he decided.

"Rumor has it that the demon puts off a distinct smell that's been likened to sugared flower-" Suddenly, he paused, pale as he swallowed dryly. "Petals..." How could he be so naive? That heavenly aroma was never a new type of pastry sold at the market. He'd lead you both into a trap. "Plug your nose, now."

You stiffened as his tone suddenly turned sharp and you wondered if you'd angered him, raising your hand to cover your nose with your haori sleeve. "Mr. Rengoku is everything-"

"Hold your breath." His command killed the words on your lips and you sucked in a deep breath, holding it in your cheeks as you followed him into the village.

Rengoku's mind raced. Had the power already begun to take effect, or did he have time? Was there an antidote or some way to dull the reaction? In the back of his mind, he knew it was too late, he could smell it for miles back, God knows how long you'd both been exposed. A tug at his sleeve stopped him dead in his tracks and his thoughts shattered like glass. Looking back at you stalled him like a car with a ruined transmission.

You looked like an absolute mess. Cheeks red and burning, eyes tired and submissive with brows knitted upwards. Had your lower face not been obscured, he would have seen the drool dripping down your chin.

"S-Sir, I don't feel well..." You confessed timidly, hoping he wouldn't look down on you too harshly. Instead, he softened, pulling you close with a hand on the small of your back, pushing his needs aside in favor of yours. "You're going to be just fine, my dear, I swear it." He reassured though he wasn't sure if even he believed it to be true.

He led you through the bustling market, expertly dodging pedestrians and obstacles alike, before pulling you into an alleyway to explain things more privately. "Don't be alarmed, everything will be alright." He started, resting you against the wall. "I believe we've been poisoned by the demon's scent, but rest assured, my intentions are pure." Nothing could have possibly made you think otherwise, you were so enchanted with him. "I fear this reaction could have dire consequences for us if we don't find a way to satiate it, but I swear to you, I will not waiver in my convictions. You are safe with me."

He almost seemed stressed, trying to convince you that he was trustworthy. You never would have thought otherwise, but it seemed like he was losing trust in himself. The longer he looked at you, the worse he ached. You looked positively disheveled, breath ragged, hair beginning to fall from your pin. He couldn't stop himself from wondering how much more of a mess he could turn you into.

You began to grow disappointed with his rocksteady refusal to give in. A part of you was excited by the situation, by the thought of the object of your admiration claiming you in a dark alleyway, feet away from civilization. Another part of you worried that suggesting you satiate the need might make you look cheap to him. None of it mattered, though, because he had already began to run on fumes, his body inching closer before his mind could tell it to stop.

His lips crashed to yours like a speeding car, all firey need and firm pressure. Before you could pull him closer, he tore away from you, wiping your taste from his mouth. "F-Forgive me, my dear!" He stammered, horrified with himself for giving in so easily. "M-My body reacted on instinct, it won't happen again!" He swore, beginning to tremble. Your response made his blood run cold, blazing eyes becoming even more owlish.

"It won't...?" Your tone dripped with sugar and disappointment, only one of which he'd normally seek out in you, but in this moment, both tasted the same. "If we've been put under the demon's influence, does that not make us...matched?"

"Matched?" He repeated dumbly, despite knowing all too well what the word entailed. He wanted to hear you explain it.

"If this demon matches individuals together for marriage and conception via this sweet smell..." You trailed almost seductively. "And the pair of us have been exposed, and are only in need of one another, does that not stand to reason that...we have been matched together?"

"I-I suppose it does," He admitted, swallowing dryly. "But we are here to slay the demon, not fall under its enchantment."

You carefully pushed away from the wall, leaning against his chest for support, prompting him to wrap you up in his embrace for the sake of your stability. "Are you not enchanted?" You whisper, dazed and desperate.

"I-I am." He trembled, holding you tight to his chest. "But enchantment be damned, I would never force myself upon you for any reason."

"What if I asked you to?" You giggled drunkenly, nuzzling into his uniform.

"A-Asked me to do what, my dear?" He swallowed, already knowing what you'd say. He desperately tried to convince himself to hold steadfast, that you were unconsenting to his whims, but how could he go on when you were throwing yourself at him?

"Take me, Kyojuro." You cooed, calling him out by name for the very first time. The way his given name rolled off your tongue sent shivers down his spine and he could no longer deny the inevitable.

"M-My dear, you mustn't tempt me..." He warned lowly, bushy brown twitching with restraint. "I-I may not be able to resist you much longer."

"I'm counting on it," You confessed, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his Adam's apple. The moment your lips graced his skin, his resolve gave way like unsteady ground and you were pressed against the wall again. One shaky hand held your chin still and the other dove for your belt, eager to unobscure your lower half to the cold night air.

Hardly any words were spoken between the two of you, but there was a silent understanding between you both as he shimmied your uniform trousers down, your hands pawing at this belt buckle all the while. The moment was clumsy and escalated to a fever pitch almost immediately, but it was also passionate and driven by something other than the toxin in the air- something mutual that had always been there.

Once your trousers were far enough down your thighs where he could access you, and his erection was free, he immediately hoisted you up against the wall, holding you there with his upper body strength alone, pressing your knees into your collarbone. The ache in your core became soothed instantly when he came into contact with it, spit-slicked fingers coaxing it gently before briefly dipping inside. His fingers parted inside you, in a vain attempt to prepare you for breach.

Within minutes, Rengoku was sinking into you, a soft, almost pained sigh escaping him as his forehead dropped to rest on your shoulder. Like an antidote, the soreness inside you was eased, massaged away by his tedious pace and hot, breathy praise. "D-Divine..." He murmured into the cook of your neck, bottoming out time after time, patiently working a rhythm into motion.

He was so much more than you'd imagined, in all ways. Longer, thicker, gentler, more passionate. Nothing could have ever prepared you to finally have him in all his desperate glory, but here you were, trapped between him and a hard place with nowhere you'd rather be.

You couldn't think on that in the moment, though, too overwhelmed by the feeling in your hypersensitive state. Just his steady pace was enough to drive you both mad, whispering near silent worship to each other, hooked together like puzzle pieces. He held you so close, you felt like one being, as his hips lazily rolled into yours, not needing more than that to come close.

Judging by the tension leading up to this moment, you'd imagined he'd ravage you right there in the alleyway, but that isn't what happened. When Rengoku claimed you, he did it as softly as he could, his touch filled with affection and care, as if he were handling a glass figuring, centuries old. The throws of passion overwhelmed you so much that, you hardly even noticed when his tenderness had brought you to the edge, pushing you into the void with a sweet kiss and a whispered "I love you, my dear."

Sensing your undoing by how tightly you constricted him, his eyes squeezed shut, quivering lips peppering kisses to what little of your neck was exposed, repeating his confession however many times he felt it needed to be said. He never ceased his romantic chant as he stalled inside you, spilling what all he had to give, hips straining to keep moving, as if driven by the carnal need to plant life.

After the pair of you were spent, he continued to hold you just like that, reluctant to withdraw from you for fear that the fertilization may not take. Afterward, though, Rengoku began to feel the fog clear from his mind, plastering a confident smile on his face as he gently set you down and helped you redress. Now that he'd faced this hurdle, he was confident that slaying this demon would be easy. It was the consequences of the spell which would be challenging, or so he thought.

-----

"Kyo," You called sweetly from the garden of his family home, led down the pathway by his sweet younger brother. Rengoku beamed at you, returning home from another long mission to his beautiful wife on maternity leave. Your belly was round and full and your gait was reduced to an unsteady waddle, but luckily, Senjuro was unwilling to leave your side until his brother was there to relieve his duties.

"My match," He cooed, dropping his sword and bag to run to you, happily peppering kisses on your face. "You're positively glowing, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful, darling, how are you?" You answered sweetly, pecking his cheek.

"Over the moon," He replied, crouching down to press a kiss to your swollen tummy. "How is our little flame?"

"Never better, thanks to Sen," You laugh lighthearted, reaching out to the boy, who had stepped away, pulling him into your side. "He's taken good care of me since you've been away."

"Have you, now?" Rengoku's eyes lit up even further, standing to place a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You're growing into a fine young man, Senjuro."

The boy's timid features softened at your combined praises, and he pressed his face into your stomach, hugging you both tightly. "I can't wait to meet my niece..."

[leidensygdom]

The ways in which being asexual feels isolating

I've been pondering whether to post this or not, but I figured out I wanted to explain a bit of this experience.

So, I could go on a very long tangent on how being asexual is usually a lonely experience, and how much I've been otherized here and there- Specially in real life. How the same people that claimed to be queer (or allies) had been much weirder about my asexuality than they were about me being bi/pan or whatever.

But I think I wanna talk about how something like that bleeds in every aspect of socializing, even down to something like fandom. I stay away from fandom usually- I like to look at cool fanart and that's about it. I hate discourse, I hate drama, I hate reading people getting worked up because they're treating fanon as canon. But there's one thing I've noticed, over and over, that just sends me off my rails.

And it's how fandom tends to treat asexuality (or aromanticism). So, you get a character in some piece of media that explicitly, unequivocally, states they're either ace, aro, or both. "I do not have interest in a partner", "I don't desire to have sex nor do I enjoy the topic", whatever. And as an ace person, I do appreciate being able to see myself in media- There isn't many chases where something is established that bluntly.

Now, you decide you want to check some fanart for that. Fandoms have this tendency to make absolutely everything about shipping, even when the media they're basing it in does not revolve about that (and it's annoying, because a lot of times people aren't interested in the actual themes- It's all reduced to shipping). Suddenly, you notice people treating the aforementioned character as anything but aro or ace. It's all about shipping. "This person interacted with this other person in a way two friends would, but we gotta make this their entire personality now". Some people may instead go for "well, maybe the character is not having sex, but they're probably an absolute freak about it, studies it extensively, has encyclopedic knowledge about it-"

Now, there's of course sex-favourable aces, and that's completely valid, but it's already straying from what, canonically, the character had mentioned. Asexual or aromantic characters aren't really allowed to exist as themselves. People often see them as a blank slate to fill, to change, to fix. I could talk forever about how people react to real life aces like that. I've had people asking me incredibly invasive questions because they saw my lack of sexual attraction as something broken, something they could fix.

And I hate that! I think I'm allowed to say that I hate that! It's hard and unusual for media to cement an aro/ace character, because they're defined by the lack of interest for something, which is often hard to show. But when it does- No one seems to care. It's all shipping, it's all "well, he's gay in denial", "well, she's probably super repressed". If you took a canonically gay character and made them straight on a fanfic, you'd get angry people. Which is bound to happen when you erase representation that people identify with. But aro/ace characters are NOT even seen as queer, they're not even seen as "representation" by most people. You can erase that bit of it, put some god awful shipping on top, and people will applaud you. And it sucks!

I wish people would see being aro or ace as an identity worth respecting, not an identity that needs overwriting. It feels a bit too close to how people often treat aro/aces irl, and it sucks. It reeks of this sort of exclusionism, where "aro/aces are technically queer but it's queer lite at best, it's less interesting than being gay, and we kinda don't want them near us anyhow". Again, I've had far worse experiences about being ace than I have about not being straight.

Sorry if the post got long, but I hope this experience may at least resonate with other people who have been struggling with this, too. It has always felt just kind of lonely to be ace, and see how little people do even consider it an identity, even when it comes down to something like fandom.

[honeyedclementine]

darling, come back to sleep

sevika x f!reader, fluff, post-s1/no s2 spoilers, established relationship (one shot, 1k words) ageless blogs, minors & men dni

reply to be added to my tag list ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

sevika has slept less and less since taking over for silco. even when she did make it home to your shared apartment—usually long after your day had ended, she would pace around the living room, muttering to herself. on a rare night would she make it to bed, tossing and turning against your sleeping form.

you understood the stress of the job, you yourself had worked beneath the man, though your job for him was never as important as sevika's. you kept fairly normal hours, usually just manning the books until you had everything orderly enough to call it a day. sometimes, on an easier day, sevika would sit in your office while you pored over a ledger, reading glasses low on the tip of your nose. these days, though, she was more often than not locked up in silco's old office, lamenting the mess he left behind.

you even took it upon yourself to fix her arm for her—with a bit of jinx's input, of course. you figured it would be a small comfort for your girlfriend, another thing she didn't have to worry about.

this was a rare night she actually made it to bed. you were just on the verge of falling asleep when she sunk down into the soft sheets, a weary sigh passing through her lips as she laid down with her back to you. without hesitating, you rolled over and wrapped your arm around her waist, tugging her closer to you. you felt her tense for a brief moment—even though you'd been together for what seems like forever, she seems to have her moments where being on the receiving end of affection is a surprise. after a brief moment, though, she relaxes into your touch and you wonder if tonight will be easy.

however, something causes you to stir long before the rise of the sun. you reach over to the other side of the bed, finding it empty with the sheets still warm. well, at least she hasn't been up for long, you sigh to yourself, rubbing sleep from your eyes and sitting up. you listen for the sound of her meandering—sometimes she paces through the living room or pours herself a drink. when you hear nothing, though, you climb out of bed and head for her small office.

you were originally against the idea of her bringing work home with her, but after a few nights where she didn't come home at all, you decided this was a well enough compromise.

sure enough, as you stand in the doorway, wrapping your arms around your torso to combat the cool chill of the season, you find sevika poring over something on her desk. there's no light in the room except for a dim table lamp that casts a green glow among her face; expression contorted into one of confusion and frustration.

"darling, please come back to bed," you sigh, hating how desperate you sound. it's not that it makes you angry or sad to not have her at your disposal, you just hate watching her burn herself out. "if it's not getting solved now, it can wait until morning."

"everything is time sensitive these days," sevika grumbles. at the very least, she doesn't have a glass of whiskey in her hand. so, it is a better night than most. "smeech is on my ass, i need to figure this out."

you're almost about to give up—to return to your empty bed and pray she makes it back by dawn, but something in you is tired tonight and misses her warmth. you approach her desk, noting the way her soft gray eyes flick up to you, watching your every move. you place your hands against the wood, eyes flitting down to the papers she's looking at, but you're too tired to comprehend what she's working on. you can see her exhaustion in her eyes.

cautiously, you bring a gentle hand to her chin, rubbing your thumb lightly over her scarred cheek. "you know why you can't figure it out right now? because you haven't slept in weeks. get some rest, look at it with fresh eyes in the morning."

sevika looks up at you, expression weary, but you can tell she's close to giving in. she leans into your palm, tilting her head and kissing the soft flesh. you take the moment to brush your fingers through the nape of her neck—a spot you know will hit just right for her.

"come to bed, baby," you try again. "i'll kill smeech myself if i have to, i miss sleeping with my girlfriend."

"i'd believe you if you let me train you with anything other than a butter knife," she retorts, grabbing your wrist and pressing one more kiss to it before tugging your hand away. for a moment, you think she's going to keep working and you prepare yourself for the disappointment.

"it's not a butter knife, thank you very much, we can't all have big scary metal arms as a default weapon," you tease. she surprises you by rising to her feet, towering slightly over you, and reaching for the lamp. the room goes dark and you reach for her flesh hand, thumb going over her pulse the way you always do—you like to feel it beneath your fingers, a reminder that through it all, you're both still here.

"come on," she nods towards the door, letting you tug her along back to your bedroom.

you continue forward with a satisfied smile on your face, dragging her back under the sheets. this time, she reaches for you and lets you settle against her chest, your face in the crook of her neck. with your weight on her, you can hear the steady beat of her heart and feel the pace of her breathing.

determined not to let her get up again, you wait for her breathing to even out, tracing out soft patterns on her skin as you do so. as soon as she's asleep, you let your eyes flutter closed.

sevika gets a little bit better at coming to bed after that.

[gooppoo]

asked for filth? alright

how about jake fucking the reader in ways the na’vi dont usually do? like eating her pussy making her sit on his face, fingering her, all the ways that you think they wouldn’t do and reader is just overwhelmed and so fucked out while hes laughing at her lovingly

no this is a really interesting concept bc how does james cameron b havin these mfs get down and dirty?

Let me show you.

Requests Closed!!

mdni.

warnings: oral (reader receiving), fingering, face sitting, jake is actually being a softy (surprise surprise)

p.s. challenging myself to condense my writing bc I tend to overwrite tbh

"Yes, sit, right here." Jake giggled at your bashful nature.

You swallowed nervously, "I-I don't know Jake..."

He swished his hand nonchalantly, "Babe, I promise, you're gonna love it. When I was one of the sky people we did this all the time." Your ears flattened when he mentioned the sky people, "Listen, just try it, if you don't like it, we'll stop." He cocked a brow.

Your tongue ran over your teeth thoughtfully. Hesitantly, you shuffled toward his expression, praying that he was true to his word (his devilish smile was less than convincing).

Either side of his head, your thighs rested, one hand stuck out in front of you for stability. Jake chirped from beneath you to see if you were ready, and you sighed, unsure.

A wet, warm sensation spread across your folds and toward your clit. Your body involuntarily stiffened and jolted your hips away from his mouth.

"Woah woah hey, just my tongue. Don't worry baby." He studied your anxious stare, chewing on your bottom lip, "Only gonna use my tongue and my fingers. Promise." His wink was not as comforting as he thought, but still cute.

In your chest, your heart hammered making the rest of your body hot. It all seemed so new all at once, and it was overwhelming.

But...from the little bit you had, it felt pretty damn good.

Still, you proceeded with caution, and returned to your original position. You waited for his tongue to explore again, instead he opted to peck along your thighs. A part of you wanted to protest and whine for him to focus on your clit, but you let him show his expertise.

When his tongue made a reappearance, it was trailing toward your much wetter core. Again, the temptation crept up to force his tongue where you wanted it, but you were patient. And soon enough that patience paid off because before you could form another coherent thought, Jake was showing you that it was possibly for you to form incoherent thoughts.

It was like he was kissing you, making out with you messily, only it felt one hundred times better. All you could really do was gasp and mewl, feel Jake pull you harder down onto his character to dive deeper into you. At times, you'd both hum when you'd hips would buck out of pure pleasure.

But as soon as you adjusted to this new phenomena, another was introduced, this time you didn't pull away. There was a weak prodding at your slippery entrance - perhaps his fingers he had mentioned - sometimes penetrating through the tiniest bit just to slide back out.

It was different, and would take some adjusting, but as long as Jake kept his attention on your clit there wouldn't be any protest or insecurity. And he knew this too, he wouldn't send your body into shock and shove two fingers into you just to quicken the process. So he took his time building up to massaging your g-spot and keeping a blissful pace on your clit with his magical tongue.

Eventually, he was knuckle deep in you, stimulating your most sensitive spots and watching you gradually unfold on top of him. Feeling your thighs relax almost too much, cunt pulsing around his working digits, it was just as he had remembered it.

However, he couldn't sustain this rhythm forever, it would only get you so far, and he wanted you cumming on his face! He tried his best to be as unsuspecting while lapping at your clit and applying more vigor to your insides. And while this did send you further into your clouded mind of lust, it also quickly became too much.

"Jake - jake," you tried to warn him that you were on the cusp of overstimulation.

"Keep saying my name baby," he laughed against you. The faint tremble in your thigh and the tightening of your naval told him everything he needed to know, "I know it's a lot, it's okay. You're doin' fuckin' great." Most of his words were muffled, the vibration of his voice sending chills up your spine.

Sooner than he has expected, your thighs were stiffening, and your walls were tightening. He continued his pace with a sprinkle of passion, knowing what was waiting for him around the corner.

"Jake - oh, OH!"

There it was. That honeydew sweetness dripping down his fingers and coating his tongue. Making your sturdy legs shake and clit become too sensitive to even kitten lick. Jake was pussy whipped, no question about it.

When enough was enough, his half-damp face peaked from underneath you, an overly cocky smile plastered on his features.

"Whatcha think?" You nodded, still gasping for air, "I knew you'd like it."

[yanderefarm]

yandere nurse x reader

owo whats this more dark content? fbkdndn season 2 is darker i tried to warn you

cw;; medical, gaslighting, manipulation, drugs, unreality, unreliable narration

The cold clean white walls of the hospital stretch forever on and on. The smell of chemicals, the people in scrubs, the tiny pens, the heavily guarded doors, the locked windows, the reinforced nurse's station. Everything is so plain and unstimulating and clean and white. The hospital walls stretch forever on and on. And you have nothing better to do than ran your hand along them tracing your path on the wall back and forth. He has nothing better to do than watch your restless movements.

You had gotten used to being here, determined to make this visit productive and actually make some tangible progress. How long could it take? Usually patients stayed in your segment of the mental hospital only a week but you weren't ready, you felt you needed more time. Unfortunately for you they needed the room. So you got moved in with the long term patients. With him.

Everything had been much the same when you came to the this part of the hospital, except for the one nurse who immediately took an interest in your case. He was clumsy and a bit silly but he seemed so kind and caring, he always listened to you and tried to make you more comfortable. Everyone loved him. Then the extra week turned into a whole month, the month turned to two, then three. And you saw the doctor less and less, you got treated warmly and patiently less and less, you were given freedoms less and less.

One day you asked your friendly nurse why you hadn't seen the doctor this week and he chuckled softly at you like you'd asked a silly question. "Well of course you haven't. You attacked him last time, remember?" He said it so casually and matter of factly that you almost didn't question it. But you hadn't attacked him. You would remember if you had. Right?

But soon you weren't sure anymore. Your days began to get cloudy and uncertain. Less and less nurses would work with you, instead, they were trying to keep their distance from you. The only one who still actively talked to you was the silly nurse, he was the only one not afraid. But you weren't scary? You weren't hurting people! Were you? Everyone acted like he was so brave for being kind to you, like you were such a dangerous monster.

One day your death sentence came. They deemed you too dangerous to even be around the other crazies. You were given your own wing of the hospital, just enough nurses and too many guards to keep you alive. You were a prisoner. You don't even know anymore how long you've been here. You just walk the halls again and again. And there he is, smiling at you. Once you've walked yourself to exhaustion he's there again with a whole cabinet worth of pills. You don't know why you need them but you're sure he's right.

"You'll feel better soon." 💕

[fr0stf4ll]

A court of Shadows and Moonlight - Part 6

paring; Azriel x reader

summary; In the wake of looming war and changing traditions, a gifted healer returns to the Night Court after centuries of wandering the continents. Tasked with stepping into Madja’s legendary role, she must guide reluctant healers, soothe wounded warriors, and face the entrenched prejudice of Illyrian leaders. But as she mends torn wings and broken spirits, an unexpected bond awakens between her and the Night Court’s enigmatic Spymaster. With rivalries simmering and a dangerous threat looming on the horizon, she must reconcile duty and desire, learning that true healing can extend beyond flesh and bone—if she dares to embrace the light hidden among the shadows.

word count ; 9k (long ass chapter lol)

Trigger warning; //

notes; Hello my loves <3 HAPPY NEW YEAR woohooo!!! Sorry for not posting these last few days, but they’ve been looong with all the celebrations. Plus, I had to travel back to my place, and it took forever. So today, you’ll not only get part 6, but also part 7 ;) (it should be up in the next few minutes). This chapter was actually pretty hard for me to write because I had doubts about where to take the story or if I should give more or fewer clues about Y/N’s background. Either way, don’t hesitate to comment because even if I don’t reply to all of you, I definitely read them, and I loveeee getting those notifications. Well, see you in a few minutes for part 7 lol <3

Link; Part 5 or Part 7

----

Late afternoon shadows stretched across Velaris as you and Cassian stepped off the bridge leading into the quieter district near the clinic. Both of you were weary—three days in Illyria had taxed your energy, even if the journey home was less fraught than the work you’d done in the camps. Your cloak felt heavier than usual, boots scuffing softly on the cobblestones as you approached the modest building that housed the clinic’s entrance and your apartment above it.

Cassian’s shoulders slumped a little, wings drooping as he glanced at you. “We made it,” he said, voice carrying a note of relief. “Another successful adventure survived.” His smile was a bit lopsided, but genuine.

You managed a small chuckle, rolling your stiff shoulders. “A success, I hope,” you answered quietly. “At least some of them seemed open to new methods.”

He nodded, raking a hand through his hair. “They’ll never admit it, but they’ll use what you taught them. You left an impression, Y/N.”

The simple honesty in his tone warmed you. The clinic door beckoned, safety and rest just inside. You paused at the threshold, turning to face him. “Thank you for coming with me,” you said softly. “I know you had other duties, but I’m grateful you lent your presence—and, frankly, your muscle—to ensure no one gave me too hard a time.”

Cassian shrugged, easy humor returning for a moment. “Any excuse to keep the Illyrians in line.” He sobered a fraction, studying you with quiet sincerity. “I’m glad I could help.”

A silence fell, not uncomfortable but weighted with the fatigue of the journey. At length, Cassian cleared his throat, as if remembering something. “Oh, right,” he said, seeming almost amused by whatever he’d forgotten. “Before I go—Rhys asked me to pass along an invitation. He’d like you to join him, Feyre, and a few others for dinner tomorrow night at their townhouse in Velaris. It’s a sort of… well, I guess a welcome dinner now that you’re truly back in the Night Court.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and a spark of gratitude lit behind them. “Dinner?” you repeated, a bit taken aback. “That’s… an honor. I—” You hesitated, a hundred questions floating to your mind. You weren’t sure what one normally did when invited to the High Lord’s home for a meal. “Should I bring anything?” you asked, half-wondering if a gift or some rare herbs might be customary.

Cassian’s grin turned playful. “Bring yourself,” he said simply. “That’s all they’ll want. Trust me, Rhys and Feyre don’t stand on ceremony with friends. Consider it an evening to relax, maybe talk about what’s next.” His gaze flicked over the clinic’s door, then back to you, voice softening. “You deserve a good meal and a bit of comfort after the work you’ve done.”

Touched by his words, you nodded. “All right,” you agreed. “I’ll be there.”

“Perfect.” He exhaled, one corner of his mouth lifting. “Now, I’d better let you rest. I think we’ve both earned a good night’s sleep.”

A small laugh escaped you. “Absolutely,” you said, resting a hand on the door’s latch. “Sleep well, Cassian.”

He gave you a salute that was half-mocking, half-genuine, wings fluttering as he turned away and headed down the street. You watched him go for a moment, then slipped inside the clinic, fatigue tugging at your limbs. Tomorrow, you would face the High Lord’s table, and perhaps some quieter conversations that might shape the next phase of your return.

For now, rest called, and you followed it gratefully up the stairs to your apartment, thoughts drifting between memories of Illyria’s harsh mountains and the warm promise of dinner among unlikely allies.

Back inside the familiar confines of the clinic, you paused just inside the door, drawing in the scents of linen and dried herbs that always lingered in the halls. Your joints ached a bit from the journey, but routine called, and you answered it. Before heading upstairs to your apartment, you moved through the quiet corridors to the records room. A low lamp flickered there, its glow soft against the shelves.

You ran your fingertips along the ledgers, pulling out the records from the past three days. Your eyes skimmed the entries, scanning notes that Elira and the other healers had left. No major emergencies, you read with relief—only a few minor wounds, a mild fever, the usual aches and pains. The neat handwriting confirmed that Elira had continued training the younger healers as planned. She’d even left a brief note: All went well. The younger ones are picking up the new bandaging technique quickly.

A small smile touched your lips. Good. Progress, even in your absence.

Satisfied that the clinic had fared well without you, you tucked the ledger back into place and turned toward the stairs. The promise of rest beckoned, and you ascended quietly, passing familiar sconces that flickered in the gentle air currents. Upstairs, your apartment welcomed you with its calm silence. You shrugged off your cloak, letting it fall over a chair, and considered the state of your legs and back. A warm bath—yes, that would be perfect.

You crossed to the small bathroom, lighting a few candles along the way. The soft glow gilded the tiled walls and the simple, claw-footed tub. Setting the faucet, you allowed steaming water to pour in, scenting it with a bit of lavender oil you kept for moments like these. As the tub filled and steam rose, you breathed deeply, letting the tension roll off your shoulders.

So much had happened—Illyria, the uncertain dynamics in the Night Court’s inner circle, and tomorrow, a dinner invitation from the High Lord himself. But for now, here, in this private sanctuary, you could let all that fade. Stripping out of your travel-stained clothes, you sank into the bath, the warm water cradling your tired muscles. The quiet of the evening settled over you, and the lavender-soaked steam eased the lingering edges of worry.

Tomorrow would bring its own challenges and discoveries. Tonight, you granted yourself peace.

—————

When evening arrived, you found yourself walking through Velaris’s softly lit streets, a bundle of carefully chosen flowers nestled in the crook of your arm. You’d spent much of the day working at the clinic as usual, but your mind had drifted often to the upcoming dinner. Now, wearing a simple but neat outfit—something presentable without being ostentatious—you followed the directions Cassian had given you, making your way toward the High Lord and High Lady’s townhouse.

Your heart fluttered with a mix of anticipation and nerves. It wasn’t as if you were heading into battle, but meeting them on such personal terms, in their private home, was a new threshold. You hadn’t seen Azriel since returning from Illyria, and though he might be present, you tried not to focus on that too much. This evening wasn’t about your confused feelings or the golden thread that tugged quietly at your awareness. It was about respect, camaraderie, and, hopefully, laughter over good food.

Rounding a corner, you came upon the district where the townhouse stood. The soft glow of streetlamps illuminated quiet lanes, and music drifted faintly from some distant party. Ahead, you spotted the house described to you—a graceful building of warm-colored stone and gently sloping roofs. It was large enough to accommodate their inner circle and guests, yet it didn’t loom or flaunt opulence. Instead, it exuded a gentle, welcoming aura.

Plants climbed trellises along the exterior, flowering vines weaving patterns around balconies and window frames. You caught the scent of night-blooming jasmine mingling with roses and citrus blossoms, an elegant tapestry of nature’s perfume draped over the home. It felt alive, this house—a place nurtured by caring hands. A place of growth and warmth.

Approaching the door, you paused to straighten your posture and smooth your clothes. The flowers you carried were modest and cheerful—nothing exotic or rare, just a vibrant mix of blooms from a local florist. You’d considered bringing wine, but after a moment’s reflection, you realized that whatever bottle you could afford would be outshone by the contents of their likely well-stocked cellar. Flowers, though, offered color, scent, and sincerity. That, you hoped, would be appreciated.

Exhaling slowly, you stepped forward, footfalls muffled by the ivy-softened walkway. The door’s brass knocker gleamed in the lamplight. You raised your free hand and knocked gently, heart fluttering once more. Perhaps it was silly to be nervous. You’d healed impossible wounds, steered conversations with stubborn Lords, and confronted your own uncertainties. You could handle a dinner invitation.

As you waited for someone to answer, you let your gaze drift along the eaves and sills. Lanterns dangled from hooks, their glass panels casting soft patterns of light and shadow across the entryway. Everything felt harmonious and attentive to detail—a reflection, perhaps, of the people who lived inside.

In a moment, you would be ushered in, welcomed as a friend or colleague rather than a mere visitor. The thought steadied you. The flowers shifted in your arms, and their gentle fragrance rose to meet you, a reminder that some gestures spoke volumes without words.

You were here, and you would face whatever the evening brought with an open heart.

The door swung open to reveal Feyre, her hair tumbling in soft waves over her shoulders, a gentle smile illuminating her features. She wore something elegant but not showy, a simple gown that played up her natural grace. When she saw you, her eyes lit even brighter, and she reached out, enfolding you in a warm, unexpected hug. It eased a little of the tension that had coiled in your chest.

“You’re here,” she said, voice calm and welcoming. “We’re so glad you could come.”

You offered her the bouquet, a mix of vivid blooms you’d chosen with care. Her eyes widened slightly, delighted. “They’re beautiful—thank you. I know a perfect spot for these.” She stepped back, holding the flowers with a careful tenderness, as if the gift mattered more than you’d dared hope.

She ushered you inside, and you slipped off your coat. Though it hadn’t snowed that day, a crisp chill still lingered in Velaris’s winter air, and the townhouse’s warmth wrapped around you like a soft cloak. Feyre guided you through a well-lit hallway into the living room, where conversation and laughter wove a gentle tapestry over the hush of the evening.

Rhysand rose from an armchair near the hearth to greet you, his violet eyes reflecting the lamplight. “Welcome,” he said, voice smooth and sincere. “Please, make yourself at home. You’ve already met Cassian and Azriel, but allow me to introduce the rest.”

Your gaze swept over the room. Cassian stood near the mantel, a glass of wine in hand, and as you glanced at him, he offered a lazy grin. Azriel was positioned a bit to the side, one arm resting along the back of a sofa. His bandages were gone, leaving faint lines of healing scars hidden beneath well-tailored clothing. He inclined his head softly when your eyes met, acknowledging your presence without fuss.

Seated near Azriel was a stunning blonde female—radiant and poised. Her beauty caught your attention immediately. Feyre noticed your look and added with a smile, “This is Mor—Morrigan. She’s family.”

Mor raised her glass in greeting, her hazel eyes warm with easy camaraderie. “Nice to finally meet you,” she said, voice touched with a hint of laughter, as if you’d arrived just in time for something pleasant.

Another figure caught your eye next: a smaller female, perched on the arm of a chair. Her silver eyes were sharp, ancient somehow, set into a refined face and framed by dark hair. This, you guessed, must be Amren. Your heart gave a small jolt of surprise—she was the one you’d heard described as powerful and formidable, yet she merely gave you a faint nod, assessing and cool, but not impolite.

Near Cassian stood another woman, her posture elegant, her features bearing a clear familial resemblance to Feyre. This must be Nesta—Feyre’s sister, the one who you’d heard was mated to Cassian. Her gaze was direct, but not hostile; perhaps curious, as if measuring who you were and why you’d been invited into their circle. You offered her a respectful smile, and she inclined her head in a subtle, regal manner.

The atmosphere was cordial, tinted with curiosity and acceptance. The fire crackled softly behind you, the scent of rich food and spices drifting in from another room. Feyre gestured to a free chair and you sat, the others resuming their conversations, weaving you naturally into their midst.

From the corner of your eye, you noticed Azriel shift slightly, watching the interplay of introductions. Morrigan turned to say something to him, drawing his attention away and giving you a moment to breathe, to take in that you were truly here, part of this intimate gathering.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” Feyre said, settling beside Rhysand, who’d gently clasped her hand. “Until then, relax. We’ve all been looking forward to getting to know you better.”

With those words and the warmth in the room, you felt some of your lingering tension melt away. You were among allies, in a house so beautifully tended, with plants climbing the windows and laughter in the air. It was easy, in that moment, to let yourself belong just a little more to this court you were slowly making home.

As you settled into a free chair near the hearth, the soft hum of conversation enveloped you. The group arranged themselves in a loose circle of armchairs and sofas, each face illuminated by the gentle firelight and the glow of simple lanterns placed around the room. Feyre had taken a seat beside Rhysand, her hand resting comfortably on his arm, while Cassian lounged near Nesta and Azriel, who remained quietly attentive. Mor perched gracefully on a low ottoman, crossing her long legs with casual elegance, and Amren claimed a small armchair as if it were a throne, her silver eyes keen but not hostile.

Feyre, ever the thoughtful hostess, spoke first. “You’ve just returned from Illyria, haven’t you?” Her voice was warm, genuine curiosity shining through. “Cassian told us a bit about your work there. How did it go?”

You drew a steady breath, aware of more eyes turning your way. “It was… challenging,” you admitted with a half-smile. “The healers were skilled but set in their ways. I managed to introduce a few new techniques. Some were skeptical, but I think a few caught on.”

Cassian gave a snort from his spot by the mantel. “Some of them were more than skeptical. Let’s say they were resistant until they saw the results.” His grin flashed, clearly proud of how you’d handled the situation.

Mor tilted her head, golden curls slipping over one shoulder. “Resistance is standard there,” she said, amused. “I’m impressed you made progress so quickly. Usually, it takes a century or two to change an Illyrian’s mind about anything.”

A ripple of light laughter flowed through the room. Even Nesta’s lips curved slightly, though her gaze remained measured. “They can be stubborn,” Nesta agreed quietly. “But if you got them to listen, you’ve accomplished a minor miracle.”

Azriel’s gaze flicked to you then, calm and thoughtful. “Any particular technique you introduced that might stand out for them?” he asked softly, voice barely above the crackle of the fire. There was interest, maybe respect, underlying the question.

You smoothed a hand over your knee, considering. “I combined some Dawn Court infusion methods with local herbs to create salves that heal burns and cuts faster. Also taught them how to more efficiently close a wound using layered bandaging, so it breathes and doesn’t trap infection.” Your shoulders relaxed as you spoke, talking shop easing the tension in your chest. “It’s subtle changes that matter over time.”

Rhysand inclined his head. “Subtle changes often pave the way for greater shifts. Even if they don’t appreciate it now, they’ll notice the difference when their warriors recover more swiftly.”

Amren’s silver eyes narrowed with interest. “You sound like someone who doesn’t fear digging into traditions,” she commented. “I suppose traveling the continents taught you that?”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “Exactly,” you said. “Every place I visited had a different approach to healing. By the time I returned, I carried a blend of knowledge. Challenging ingrained habits is never easy, but I believe if we show results, people adapt.”

As the conversation in the living room flowed around you, your attention drifted to Azriel, who’d been listening quietly while the others exchanged stories. Under the soft glow of the lamps, he seemed more at ease than the last time you’d seen him—no bandages, no pained tension in his posture. But you knew better than to assume all was perfect.

Leaning forward slightly, you caught his eye. “Azriel,” you began, your voice low enough that the others, caught up in their chatter, wouldn’t be distracted. “How are your injuries feeling now?”

He blinked, as if brought out of private thoughts. The edge of his mouth curved in a faint but genuine smile. “Much better,” he replied softly, voice smooth and controlled. “Your treatments worked wonders.”

A small surge of satisfaction warmed you. “I’m glad. I worried about scarring, especially on the wings, but it seems my methods held.”

Azriel inclined his head, shadows shifting imperceptibly at his shoulders. “They did. I owe you more gratitude than I can put into words.”

You waved a hand dismissively, though not unkindly. “No need for grand thanks. It’s what I do.” After a brief moment, you continued, “If you find yourself running low on ointment or salve—anything for lingering aches—you’re welcome to stop by the clinic. I’ll make sure you have what you need.”

His eyes flickered slightly, a hint of something unreadable passing there. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, voice still gentle. “Though I think it’s my turn to follow the rules this time. I won’t risk mixing anything that’s not from your hands.”

A quiet huff of amusement escaped you. “Good,” you said, pleased to note even the faintest humor there. “I’d prefer no more surprise remedies.”

He almost smiled fully at that, and you found yourself relieved—relieved that he’d healed, relieved that you could speak amicably, and relieved that, even amidst lingering complexities, you could offer him help without awkwardness.

Rhysand leaned forward slightly, his attention shifting fully to you. “Your skill with Illyrian wings is… notable,” he said, voice calm and curious. “It’s not often we see someone outside these mountains who can treat wing injuries with such precision. Where did you learn that?”

You swallowed, noticing how everyone’s gaze had angled your way. Azriel’s dark eyes were steady, Cassian’s brows lifted with mild interest, and Mor sipped her wine, listening quietly. “I owe much to Madja,” you said with a small shrug, trying to sound offhanded. “In my youth, under her tutelage, I spent time observing healings of various kinds. When I traveled to the Dawn Court, I worked extensively with peregryns. Between the two experiences, I pieced together techniques that transfer well.”

Rhysand nodded thoughtfully, and you sensed approval rather than suspicion. Feyre offered a gentle smile, as if pleased to understand more about your background. Azriel only gave the faintest tilt of his head, acknowledging your explanation.

Before anyone could delve deeper, the door opened softly, and you all turned. Elain stepped into the room, cradling a small bundle in her arms. The atmosphere shifted; the hush that followed her appearance was softer, lighter. She carried a baby—a tiny figure swaddled in soft linens. At the sight of you, Elain’s eyes went wide, a brief flicker of something like panic crossing her face. She managed a stiff, silent nod in your direction, acknowledging your presence.

She crossed the floor and carefully handed the baby to Feyre before moving to sit next to Azriel. The subtle tension that flared in the air didn’t go unnoticed by you. Seeing her choose a seat near Azriel struck a chord, stirring a quiet ache in your chest. The memory of misunderstandings and the complexities of their relationship hovered in your mind.

Feyre, noticing the moment, turned toward you with a warm, bright smile and the infant cradled securely in her arms. “This is Nyx,” she said softly, pride and love coloring every syllable. She stepped closer, letting you see the baby’s tiny, delicate features, the soft tufts of dark hair. “Our son.”

Your heart softened at the sight, and you drew a careful breath. “He’s beautiful,” you murmured, the tension easing slightly at the simple purity of this introduction. “Congratulations.”

Feyre’s eyes sparkled. “Thank you,” she said, rocking Nyx gently. After a moment, she glanced toward Elain and then back to you. “I should also introduce you to my sister, Elain. But I believe you’ve already met?”

Your eyes darted to Elain, who offered another small, tense smile. “Yes,” you confirmed quietly. “We’ve met.” The memory of the morning with Azriel’s injury still flickered in the back of your mind. Elain’s panic that day, her attempt to help gone wrong.

The baby cooed softly, wriggling a tiny arm free from the swaddle, and Feyre adjusted him tenderly. The simple, gentle act redirected your focus to something simpler and kinder. In that moment, held in Feyre’s arms, Nyx represented a softness and hope that contrasted sharply against the intricate bonds and tensions that wove this inner circle together.

You lifted your gaze, meeting Elain’s eyes briefly. She looked away, cheeks coloring faintly, before focusing on Azriel and the room’s gentle chatter. A hush of understanding passed—whatever had happened before still lingered, unspoken and unresolved, but for tonight, perhaps it could remain beneath the surface, overshadowed by the presence of family and the simple joy of a new life in their midst.

You blinked, noting the tiny, budding wings peeking out from Nyx’s swaddle. It took a moment for the sight to register—Feyre and Rhysand’s child had wings. The world narrowed briefly to that small detail, a realization that sent a pulse of concern through your chest. Memories stirred of the quiet horrors you’d learned about: how some winged births could end tragically if the mother’s body wasn’t prepared.

“Oh,” you said softly, voice hushed. “He has wings.” The words escaped before you could smooth your tone. You turned your gaze to Feyre, eyes wide with a hint of shock. “Are—are you all right?” you asked, concern lacing your voice. You knew how risky such births could be, how many mothers—non-winged mothers—lost their lives or their children. The knowledge spilled out in your startled tone, too raw and honest.

As soon as the question left your lips, you caught yourself. This was personal, deeply so, and it might not be your place to ask. A flush warmed your cheeks, and you cleared your throat softly. “I’m sorry,” you murmured quickly, lowering your eyes. “That was intrusive. I didn’t mean—”

Feyre’s smile was gentle, understanding. She shifted Nyx slightly, rocking him in a way that spoke of deep maternal comfort. “It’s all right,” she said quietly, voice kind and steady. “I know it can be dangerous. It was. But I’m fine now—truly.”

She exhaled softly, sharing a glance with Rhysand who offered a reassuring nod. “We had a lot of support, the best healers, and… let’s just say there were extraordinary circumstances that helped.” Feyre’s tone carried quiet resilience, as if acknowledging a trial endured and overcome.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Relief and admiration washed over you. “I’m glad,” you said simply, heartfelt. The image of the tiny, safe baby cradled in Feyre’s arms, half winged and wholly loved, took the sting out of your earlier alarm.

Nyx stirred, letting out a small, contented noise, as if confirming that all was indeed well. And so, in that moment, you allowed yourself to trust in their strength and the healing they had found—together, in this extraordinary court.

The dining table was set with care and elegance, an array of dishes spread like a tapestry of flavors and colors. Feyre had returned after settling Nyx down for the night, and now she sat beside Rhysand, her eyes brighter, freer, as though a weight had lifted from her shoulders. You were seated between Amren and Mor, with Azriel directly across from you. The air hummed with conversation, the gentle clink of silverware, and the faint glow of faelight sconces casting a warm gleam over crystal and china.

The food was beyond anything you’d tasted in recent memory—roasted vegetables drizzled with spiced oils, tender meats seasoned to perfection, a fresh salad of night-blooming flowers and herbs that tasted of moonlit gardens. Between bites, you couldn’t help small hums of appreciation. Mor grinned at your delighted expression, whispering that Feyre and Rhys knew how to choose their cooks wisely. Amren, on your left, merely arched an eyebrow, as if such quality was the norm in this household.

Across the table, Rhysand and Feyre spoke quietly with Azriel about the latest developments with Koshiev’s faction. They didn’t hide the topic, but neither did they elaborate on grim details unnecessarily. Still, the tension was palpable.

Cassian, seated beside Nesta, seemed to pick up on the unease radiating from her. He leaned closer, murmuring something low that drew a reluctant smirk from her lips—a rare crack in her otherwise steely demeanor.

The conversation shifted, soft murmurs filling the dining room as everyone seemed to settle into their own thoughts. But your gaze lingered, drawn to the quiet interactions between Azriel and Elain.

They weren’t doing anything outright inappropriate, of course. Yet the way Azriel leaned slightly toward her, his shadows curling faintly around her seat as though they couldn’t help themselves—it was subtle, but unmistakable. And Elain, for all her delicate, quiet nature, didn’t seem to shy away from him. If anything, the small glances she cast in his direction, the way her hand lingered near his on the table, spoke volumes.

Something was going on between those two. That much you were sure of.

But didn’t she have a mate?

The thought gnawed at you. From what you’d learned during your short time with this group, the bond between mates was supposed to be unbreakable, undeniable. A rare gift—or curse, depending on how one saw it. Yet here was Elain, sitting close to Azriel, her mate nowhere to be found.

You couldn’t help but recall the low, tense conversation you’d overheard between Rhysand and Azriel days ago. Their voices had been hushed, but you’d caught enough to piece together fragments. It had been about Elain, about Azriel’s feelings for her—and about how complicated the whole situation was.

Even tonight, the tension was palpable. Rhysand and Feyre avoided looking too long in Azriel and Elain’s direction, as if their mere proximity might ignite something. Cassian’s joviality had dimmed slightly, and even Mor seemed unusually reserved.

You shifted in your seat, the unease settling in your chest like a stone. Whatever was unfolding here felt like a precarious balancing act, one wrong move away from shattering entirely.

It wasn’t jealousy, you told yourself firmly—because at the end of the day, you barely knew him. Whatever flicker of connection you’d felt when you first crossed paths with Azriel had been just that: a flicker.

Still, you couldn’t entirely ignore the truth you’d kept to yourself. That he was your mate.

You hadn’t planned to speak of it, not now, perhaps not ever. What would be the point? He didn’t seem to know, and you weren’t about to disrupt the fragile balance of this group—or his life—by bringing it up.

But watching him now, seeing the way his gaze softened for Elain, the way his shadows seemed drawn to her as if they couldn’t help themselves... it unsettled you.

You reached for your glass of wine, your fingers tightening slightly around the stem. It wasn’t your place to interfere, nor did you want to. And yet, the sight stirred something uncomfortable in you—an ache you couldn’t quite place, an unease that whispered of things better left buried.

For now, you resolved, you would tread carefully. Whatever this was, it wasn’t your story to tell.

As the conversation ebbed and flowed, you caught snippets of Mor and Feyre discussing the upcoming Solstice celebrations. Their voices carried a mix of excitement and warmth, and even those not directly involved in the planning seemed to lean in slightly, drawn by the festive air.

“Everything’s nearly set,” Mor said with a grin, her golden eyes glimmering. “But I still think we need more lights. You can never have too many.”

Feyre laughed softly, shaking her head. “We’re already bordering on blinding half the Sidra with what we’ve got planned.”

“Exactly,” Mor countered. “Bordering. Not quite there yet.”

The exchange drew a small chuckle from the others, and soon the table was animated with chatter about the Solstice—decorations, food, gifts, the music for the evening. You found yourself listening quietly, a faint smile on your lips as their excitement filled the room.

Then Cassian turned to you, curiosity lighting his hazel eyes. “What about you, Y/N? What are you planning for the Solstice?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Working,” you said simply, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

Cassian stared at you, his expression shifting from surprised to faintly unimpressed. “You’re working?” he repeated, as though the concept was completely foreign to him.

You shrugged, taking a sip of your wine. “I gave the night and the day after to the other healers,” you explained matter-of-factly. “They have families to spend it with.”

His blunt stare didn’t waver. “And you don’t?”

The question hung in the air for a beat too long. You didn’t flinch, though. Instead, you gave him a small, wry smile. “Not in the traditional sense,” you replied. “I’ve spent most of my life on the road. Holidays are just... nights like any other to me.”

Mor frowned slightly, her lips parting as though she wanted to say something, but Feyre beat her to it. “You could spend it with us,” she offered warmly, her eyes soft and kind. “If you’re free after your shift, of course.”

You hesitated, glancing around the table at the faces watching you. “That’s kind of you,” you said after a moment, your voice quieter now. “I’ll see how the night goes, but I wouldn’t count on me. Those nights tend to be pretty busy.”

Cassian still didn’t look entirely pleased, but he let the topic drop, turning to Azriel to mutter something under his breath. Across from you, Feyre and Mor resumed their discussion about the preparations, but you noticed the glances they shot your way from time to time.

The Solstice was supposed to be a time of joy, of togetherness. And yet, for you, it had always been a reminder of the distances you’d kept—between yourself and others, between your past and your present. Maybe this year would be different. But you weren’t ready to hope for that just yet.

Nesta, her tone gentle yet curious, asked, “Don’t you have family here in Velaris? Since it’s where you’re from?”

Cassian’s head turned sharply to her, a flicker of something unreadable passing over his face. He looked like he was about to respond, but you stopped him with a soft smile, silently telling him it was okay.

“It’s fine,” you replied, your voice steady but quieter now, the words laced with a faint melancholy. “My parents passed away when I was still a child. And... it wasn’t exactly a union their families approved of. My father was a High Fae, and my mother was Illyrian.”

The table fell silent, the weight of your admission settling over the group.

Feyre’s expression softened, her brows knitting together as if piecing together what your childhood must have been like. Even Amren’s usually sharp gaze seemed to flicker with a faint glimmer of understanding.

Rhysand leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table, his voice low and thoughtful. “A High Fae and an Illyrian,” he mused, his violet eyes locking onto yours with a knowing look. “That couldn’t have been easy for them—or for you.”

You nodded, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. “It wasn’t. My mother’s family saw her as a traitor for leaving the war-camps. And my father’s family... well, let’s just say they weren’t thrilled about him choosing someone they considered beneath him. They tried to make it work, but the rejection on both sides was... hard.”

Rhysand’s lips curved into a faint, understanding smile tinged with something more—perhaps a trace of his own memories. “My parents were mates,” he said softly. “But even that bond didn’t shield my mother from what she endured because she was Illyrian. My father’s court viewed her as an outsider, no matter that she was his equal in every way.”

You glanced at him, surprised by his willingness to share the parallel. A small, genuine smile tugged at your lips. “Then I suppose you understand better than most.”

He inclined his head. “More than you might think. My mother bore the burdens of being Illyrian with grace, but I saw the way it chipped away at her. The way others refused to see her worth simply because of where she came from.”

The room was quiet for a beat longer, the group absorbing the weight of your shared experiences.

“Did they stay in Velaris?” Nesta asked gently, her voice curious but kind.

“They tried,” you said, your voice softening even more. “Velaris was my mother’s dream. She wanted a place where their love could thrive without the judgment of others. But it wasn’t that simple. My father’s family refused to acknowledge me, and my mother’s kin wanted nothing to do with either of us. They both passed when I was young, so... it’s just been me for a long time.”

Cassian shifted, his hand tightening briefly around his glass. He didn’t say anything, but the tension in his body told you all you needed to know—he hated the thought of you enduring that kind of isolation.

“I’m sorry,” Feyre said quietly, her voice warm with empathy.

You offered her a small smile, the sting of the memory softened by time. “It’s all right. I’ve built my life on my own terms since then. And Velaris... it’s still home.”

Rhysand nodded, his gaze steady. “Velaris is the City of Starlight. But it’s also a sanctuary for those who need it. And no matter what, you’ll always have a place here.”

The sincerity in his words caught you off guard, and for a moment, all you could do was nod, your chest tightening with a mix of gratitude and something you couldn’t quite name.

The laughter faded into a comfortable hum, and Rhysand glanced at you again, his tone turning slightly more serious. “Speaking of important matters, are the preparations for your trip to the Dawn Court coming along?”

You nodded, resting your hands on the edge of the table. “It’s going well,” you said. “I’m not rushing, though. The meeting isn’t for a few weeks, so there’s time to finalize everything.”

Azriel, who had been quietly observing, narrowed his eyes slightly. “What meeting?”

You met his gaze evenly. “The head healers of all the courts are gathering to discuss the rising tensions in the world. It’s not something we do often—every ten or twenty years, if that. But given everything that’s been happening lately, it was decided that now’s the time to meet.”

Feyre leaned forward, her brows knitting together in curiosity. “Even though you’ve only recently taken over from Madja, isn’t that going to be... challenging for you?”

Her question was genuine, not unkind, and you offered her a soft smile. “Not as much as you might think,” you replied. “I already know all of them. Either they trained me, or I’ve trained them at some point.”

Cassian let out a low whistle, leaning back in his chair with a grin. “Well, look at you. The prodigy of Prythian’s healers.”

You rolled your eyes at his teasing, though the corners of your mouth twitched in amusement. “Hardly. It’s more about connections and trust. It’s easier to work with people when you’ve already built a rapport.”

“True enough,” Rhysand said, his voice thoughtful. “But there’s still a lot of weight in those meetings. Decisions made there could affect countless lives.”

You nodded, meeting his gaze. “I’m aware. That’s why it’s important we all come together now. We have to be prepared for what might come next, no matter where it starts.”

Cassian broke the tension with a grin. “Still betting it’ll be less of a disaster than a High Lords’ meeting?”

Laughter rippled around the table again, and you shrugged with a playful smirk. “I’d say so. We’re less inclined to argue over who’s the most powerful and more focused on practical solutions.”

“Speak for yourself,” Amren muttered dryly. “I’d argue just for fun.”

The table erupted into laughter, the light-heartedness returning as the conversation shifted to lighter topics once more.

Dinner naturally came to an end, and the group shifted to the living room. The atmosphere turned even more relaxed as the evening stretched on. Cups of tea were passed around for some, while others nursed glasses of wine or stronger spirits. The crackle of the fire in the hearth added a cozy backdrop to the low hum of conversation and occasional laughter.

You found yourself sinking into a plush armchair, your fingers wrapped around a warm mug of tea. The soft glow of the firelight played across the room, highlighting the easy camaraderie between everyone. This wasn’t just a group of warriors and leaders—they were a family. Even in their teasing, you could sense the unshakable bonds that connected them, forged by shared history and unwavering loyalty.

For a brief moment, you allowed yourself to relax, taking in the sight of them. Feyre and Rhysand were curled up together on a loveseat, Cassian sprawled across a large sofa with Mor perched at the other end, her laughter ringing out as he recounted some likely exaggerated tale. Nesta sat nearby, a book in hand, though her attention occasionally drifted to the conversation.

But as your gaze wandered, you noticed something—or rather, someone—missing. Neither Elain nor Azriel was present. The realization sent a small, unwanted pang through your chest, one you quickly buried. Whatever their reasons for leaving, it wasn’t your concern. It couldn’t be.

When your tea was finished, you placed the empty cup delicately on the table before rising to your feet. “Thank you for the lovely evening,” you said, your voice soft but sincere. “But I should head back. There’s still some work I need to wrap up before the night’s over.”

Cassian glanced up from his drink, his grin playful as always. “You’re leaving already? And here I thought Azriel was the workaholic around here, but you might actually be worse.”

His words, though light-hearted, made something twist in your stomach. You tried to brush it off, but then he glanced around the room and added, “Speaking of which... where is Az? Slacking off for once?”

“Leave it, Cassian,” Rhysand interjected smoothly. His voice was calm, but the sharpness in his violet gaze betrayed a flicker of curiosity—or perhaps understanding—as his eyes darted to you. He didn’t press the issue, but the weight of his brief look lingered all the same.

Feyre stood and approached you, her steps fluid and graceful. She wrapped you in a warm hug, her arms firm but gentle. “Thank you for coming,” she said softly. “It was nice having you here. We’ll have to do this again soon.”

You returned the embrace, her kindness settling some of the unease lingering in your chest. “I’d like that,” you replied sincerely, a small smile tugging at your lips.

Cassian’s voice broke through the moment as Feyre stepped back. “You know, if you’re working this late, you might actually give Az a run for his money,” he teased. Then, with a mock thoughtful look, he added, “Though I guess he’s not here to defend his title. Convenient.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Maybe he’s finally taking a well-deserved break,” you said, keeping your tone light as you glanced toward the door.

Rhysand’s gaze followed yours, but he said nothing. The slight quirk of his lips suggested he’d noticed something, but whatever it was, he chose to keep it to himself—for now.

With a final round of goodnights, you stepped out into the cool night air. They were a family, and while you didn’t quite feel like part of it yet, the warmth they’d shown you was undeniable.

As you walked through the quiet streets of Velaris, the crisp night air nipping at your skin, your gaze lifted instinctively to the sky. The stars above were breathtaking—countless pinpricks of light scattered across an endless expanse of velvet black. They seemed so serene, so untouched by the weight of the world below. For a moment, you let yourself be lost in their beauty, your steps slowing as if the universe itself was urging you to pause.

You didn’t notice the tears until a cold droplet slid down your cheek, and then another. Startled, you reached up to brush your fingers against your face, finding your skin wet. Confusion prickled at the edges of your thoughts as you stared at the small drops clinging to your fingertips. You weren’t sad. At least, you didn’t think you were. The evening had been lovely—warm and full of laughter. Yet here you were, crying under the stars.

A hollow ache settled in your chest as you continued walking, the faint echo of your footsteps the only sound in the stillness. You barely knew Azriel. That thought circled your mind like an unrelenting shadow. For all the moments you’d spent stealing glances at him, observing the way he carried himself with quiet strength and grace, there was still so much you didn’t know. So much you might never know.

And then there was the bond. The invisible thread you could feel humming at the edge of your awareness, a constant reminder of something greater, something unasked for. You’d kept it to yourself, not because of secrecy, but because the mere thought of saying it aloud made your stomach twist with apprehension. It wasn’t fair—not to him, not to you.

Forcing a bond on him, on anyone, was the last thing you wanted. Azriel deserved the freedom to choose, the freedom to love without the weight of a bond dictating his path. But even as you told yourself that, a cruel voice in your mind whispered that the bond wasn’t something he would celebrate—not with you as his mate.

What did you have to offer him? Compared to Elain’s gentle beauty and kindness, you felt like a storm—chaotic and unyielding. You’d spent centuries honing your skills, fighting battles, making sacrifices. Vulnerability wasn’t something you knew how to share.

A sharp breath escaped you, your hands curling into fists as your pace quickened. The tears came faster now, silent but persistent, blurring the cobblestones underfoot. It wasn’t sadness, you told yourself again. It was confusion, frustration, maybe even fear.

You weren’t sure when the walls you’d built around yourself had started to crack, but tonight, surrounded by the warmth of the Inner Circle, you’d felt something shift. It wasn’t just about Azriel. It was about family, connection, belonging—things you’d never let yourself hope for, let alone believe you could have.

But as much as you’d enjoyed the night, as much as you’d appreciated their kindness, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being an outsider looking in. They cared for each other deeply, their bonds unbreakable. And you? You were just passing through, a healer with a tangled past and an uncertain future.

The stars blurred as fresh tears welled up, and you stopped in your tracks, tilting your head back to let the cool night air soothe your burning cheeks. You didn’t know what you were crying for—what you were mourning. Maybe it was for the family you’d lost long ago, or the life you might have had if things had been different. Maybe it was for the bond you hadn’t asked for but couldn’t ignore.

Or maybe, it was for the fragile hope buried deep within you—the hope that one day, you might find a place where you truly belonged.

——

Azriel’s POV

Azriel exhaled a quiet breath as he stepped into the crisp night air, the faint sounds of the dinner fading behind him. The garden of the townhouse was peaceful, blanketed in a soft glow from the moon above. Elain walked beside him, her delicate frame tucked into a thick coat, her hands gripping the fabric tightly against the chill.

The silence stretched between them, comfortable at first. But as they wandered further down the winding paths, Elain drew closer, her arm brushing his. He glanced at her briefly, noticing the faint pink on her cheeks—not from the cold, but something else.

It was when they reached the edge of the garden, where the view of Velaris spread wide and glittering below, that she finally spoke.

"Azriel," she said softly, her voice hesitant.

He turned to face her, noting the awkward expression on her face, the way her hands twisted nervously in front of her. “What is it?” he asked, his tone calm, though a flicker of concern stirred in his chest.

Elain hesitated, her gaze darting away before meeting his again. “Are you sure...we can trust Y/N?”

Azriel blinked, her question catching him off guard. Of all the things he’d anticipated her saying, this hadn’t been one of them. “Why wouldn’t we?” he asked, frowning slightly.

Elain’s lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s just...the way she talks, the way she carries herself. There’s something...off about her.”

Azriel tilted his head, studying her closely. He hadn’t missed Y/N’s sharp tongue during the meeting at the House of Wind, but her words had been purposeful, her actions deliberate. If Elain was referring to that, it didn’t make sense for her to hold it against Y/N.

“She was doing her job,” Azriel said carefully, keeping his tone neutral. “If this is about what happened at the House of Wind—”

“It’s not just that,” Elain interrupted, her voice rising slightly before softening again. She looked at him with wide, almost pleading eyes. “You don’t realize the way she spoke to me. The way she...looked at me. It was—” She broke off, shaking her head.

Azriel’s frown deepened. He couldn’t recall Y/N being anything but professional, but Elain’s tone suggested she felt otherwise. Still, he wasn’t one to jump to conclusions without evidence.

“Elain,” he said gently, “what exactly are you saying? Is there something specific that’s made you doubt her?”

She hesitated again, her gaze dropping to the ground. Then, after a moment, she said, “I just...feel like she’s hiding something. A lot of things. And it’s not just her past—it’s her power, Azriel. It’s unsettling. What if she’s here for something else? What if she’s working for Koschei?To attack us from the inside?”

Her voice grew more frantic as she spoke, her words tumbling over one another in a rush of worry.

Azriel’s jaw tightened, though he kept his expression calm. He reached out, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder. “Elain,” he said firmly, his voice a quiet anchor. “You’re overthinking this.”

Her eyes flicked up to meet his, uncertainty flickering there.

“She’s not here to harm anyone,” Azriel continued. “If she were, we would’ve seen signs by now. And even if there were any truth to your fears, I’m keeping a close eye on her.”

Elain’s lips parted slightly, but she didn’t interrupt as he added, “Nothing bad will happen while I’m around. I won’t allow it.”

For a moment, Elain simply looked at him, her expression softening at his words. She nodded slowly, though the tension in her shoulders didn’t completely ease.

“I trust you, Azriel,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Azriel gave her a faint nod, his gaze steady. But as they turned to head back toward the townhouse, a shadow of doubt lingered in his mind—not about Y/N, but about the seeds of mistrust Elain had tried to plant.

Elain bid Azriel a soft goodnight, her steps retreating up the stairs until they faded entirely. Azriel lingered in the quiet of the garden for a moment longer, the chill of the night seeping into his skin as he let his mind turn over her words. Doubt, no matter how unwarranted, was a dangerous thing to sow.

Pushing the thoughts aside, he made his way back to the living room. Feyre, Mor, and Nesta were nowhere to be seen, their laughter and conversations long gone. Only Rhysand and Cassian remained, seated comfortably with drinks in hand.

“There he is,” Cassian said with a smirk, raising his glass. “Thought you’d vanished into the shadows for good this time.”

Azriel ignored the jab, heading straight for the sideboard. He poured himself a generous glass of whiskey, the amber liquid catching the firelight, and crossed the room to join them. He lowered himself into one of the armchairs, cradling the glass in his hand before taking a long sip.

“You missed the part where we solved all the world’s problems,” Cassian quipped, but there was a lightness to his tone.

Azriel shot him a look but didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he turned to Rhysand, his expression thoughtful. “Did you know about Y/N being half Illyrian and half High Fae?”

Rhysand raised a brow, leaning back in his seat. “Madja mentioned it to me when I first spoke with her about Y/N, but beyond that, no. Y/N hasn’t shared much about her personal life—at least not with me.”

Azriel frowned slightly, swirling the whiskey in his glass. “She’s been...secretive.”

“That’s not surprising,” Rhysand said, his voice calm. “She’s lived a long life, Azriel. People who’ve endured as much as she likely has aren’t quick to share their scars.”

Cassian shrugged, setting his empty glass on the table with a faint clink. “It’s not uncommon, though, is it? Half Illyrians without wings? The camps might not like to talk about it, but it happens more often than they’d admit.”

Azriel’s shadows curled faintly around his shoulders, his gaze distant. “It’s not just that. She’s...different. There’s a weight to her that’s hard to ignore.”

Rhysand regarded him carefully, his violet eyes sharp. “What are you trying to say, Az?”

Azriel hesitated, the words forming slowly. “She doesn’t seem like someone who’s just here to replace Madja or take up the work of healing. There’s more to her, something she’s not saying.”

Rhysand nodded thoughtfully. “She’s a healer, yes, but she’s also a warrior. And from what I’ve gathered, she’s someone who’s fiercely loyal to those she chooses to protect. That doesn’t mean she owes us every detail of her life.”

Cassian leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “It’s not like we’ve shared all our dirty laundry with her either. Hell, Az, you’ve been watching her like a hawk since she got here, and she hasn’t so much as flinched. If she were hiding something dangerous, don’t you think she’d have slipped up by now?”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately, his shadows whispering quietly in his ears. He took another sip of whiskey, letting the burn settle in his throat.

“I’m not saying she’s a threat,” he said finally. “But there’s something...unsettling about not knowing where she stands. Especially now, with everything happening in Prythian.”

Rhysand sighed, his expression softening. “You’re not wrong to be cautious, Az. But until she gives us a reason to doubt her, we owe her the benefit of the doubt. She’s earned that much through her work alone.”

“Relax, brother,” Cassian said with a chuckle. “Not everyone is out to stab us in the back. Besides, if she wanted to, she’s had plenty of chances.”

The conversation lulled, the crackling of the fire filling the silence. Azriel leaned back in his chair, the whiskey warming him from the inside out. Despite Cassian’s teasing and Rhysand’s reassurances, the unease in his chest didn’t fully fade.

He’d keep watching. Just in case.

Rhysand shifted in his seat, his sharp gaze settling on Azriel. His expression was calm, but there was a note of seriousness in his voice as he spoke. “Maybe it’s time for you to look elsewhere, brother. To seek someone who could truly bring you peace.”

Azriel sighed heavily, the sound filled with equal parts exhaustion and frustration. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass, staring into it as if the whiskey held answers he couldn’t find.

Cassian, never one to miss an opportunity, smirked. “You know, Az, Rhys might actually have a point for once. The world won’t end if you let yourself—”

Azriel’s sharp glare cut him off, but it was Rhysand who pressed on, his tone gentle but firm. “Listen, brother, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life or whom to care for. But Lucien is coming back to Velaris for the Solstice, and I don’t want you to—”

Azriel’s head snapped up, and his voice was cold and clipped as he interrupted. “You didn’t have to invite him.”

Rhysand’s brows rose slightly, but his voice remained steady. “He is her mate, Azriel. Whether we like it or not, that bond exists. Ignoring it won’t make it disappear.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his shadows curling more protectively around him. “I’m well aware of that, Rhys. But you didn’t need to bring him here. Solstice is for family.”

Cassian leaned forward slightly, holding up a hand as if to diffuse the tension. “Alright, let’s all take a deep breath. It’s been a long day, and we don’t need to—”

“I don’t need your advice,” Azriel snapped, cutting him off as well. His voice was calm but laced with a quiet, simmering anger. He stood, setting his glass down with more force than necessary. “I’m grown enough to make my own decisions, and I don’t need either of you meddling in my personal life.”

Rhysand’s violet eyes followed Azriel carefully, a flicker of something unspoken passing between them. But he didn’t press further, simply nodding once.

Cassian leaned back in his chair, muttering under his breath, “Well, that went well.”

Azriel didn’t respond, his shadows coiling around him as he turned and left the room. He felt their eyes on him as he walked away, but he didn’t look back.

As he stepped into the cool night air, the weight of their words still lingered. His chest felt tight, his thoughts a tangled mess of anger, guilt, and something he couldn’t quite name. He didn’t know what he wanted anymore. Or maybe he did, and that was the problem.

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[ashcal99]

Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale VIII

Chapter Eight

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn, blood

Words: 8k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. I'm backkkkk. Hope you enjoy x

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

February 6th, 2005

Camila’s Sunday had been a fairly uneventful day, having spent the majority of it on the couch with her mother. The two had spent their afternoon watching some of the movies they had recently unpacked from the move. Camila had been happy to spend some much needed quality time with her mother and even happier to spend that time avoiding the topic that had been weighing on the family heavily for the past week. In reality, she didn’t actually know how many more good days with her mother she was going to get by the end of all of this, and she wanted to cherish whatever time she had left. 

Her mother had just popped in the second tape for the movie Titanic when her father arrived home, arms full with two large pizza boxes as he dropped his things by the door. Camila’s face blossomed into a bright smile. Regardless of her dwindling appetite, pizza would always be her favorite and she couldn’t have thought of a more ideal evening with her parents. So the family sat together, watching as the movie’s plot took a rather unfortunate turn for disaster, eating their greasy pizza off of paper plates. 

Of course, in the end, as it always happened, no matter how much Camila had hoped for a different outcome, the lovely Jack Dawson had frozen to death holding the hand of his lover and she was left to wonder if she would end up leaving Jasper in a similar state of despair when her time was up. Deep down she knew that his offer of eternity in his arms was growing more and more tempting and the likelihood of her ever leaving his side was dwindling as the days passed by. Her feelings for him were growing day by day as well and she was well past the point of no return she feared. 

Being in love was a scary and vulnerable thing as it was, but given everything else about her situation, it was nothing less than terrifying, albeit a good kind of terrifying. Her thoughts had become an endless cycle of him, and she knew she was done for. The idea of being in love so quickly would’ve made her scoff and roll her eyes previously, but now that she found herself very much in love with Jasper, she knew that what she had once thought was impossible was the truth. 

The feelings she held in her heart for Jasper triumphed any idea of love she had previously held. She had never been one to believe in the foolish idea of love at first sight, but as she looked back at the moment she had met him she couldn’t imagine anything closer to describe it as. She knew that if she already felt this strongly for him, that her feelings would only grow to an incomprehensible intensity with time.

It was after the sun had set when he had come knocking on her window, giving the glass a light tap with his knuckles as a warning before he entered through the opening into her bedroom. She had given him a small tired smile, gesturing for him to join her on the bed. He moved forward, sinking into his usual spot as she took hers with her head on his chest, letting out a sigh of contentment. 

“How was the game?” She asked, bringing her hand up to lay on the soft cotton of his t-shirt. 

Jasper smiled, wrapping an arm around her protectively. “It was good, Patriots won.” He said simply, knowing she was just being polite in asking, having no interest in the game herself. 

In all truth, he hadn’t spent much of his time actually paying attention to the sport, his thoughts being rather caught up on the girl who was currently curled up against him. He tried his best to show interest as he knew that Emmet had been looking forward to it, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed at his past self for promising to spend the day away from Camila. Of course, at the time he had no idea that he would be missing school the two days that followed, which had definitely added to the torture. Torture that was given brief recesses by his nightly visits. 

“That’s good, I’m glad you enjoyed it…” She said, trailing off into a yawn, covering her mouth with her palm. “I’m sorry, I promise you’re not boring me, I’m just so exhausted.” She explained, slightly disappointed in herself as she had been looking forward to seeing him all day and knew that his presence would be missed at school the next morning. 

He sighed, running his fingers delicately along her spine, raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin. “You don’t need to apologize Darlin’, sleep.” He said, laying a kiss on her head as he breathed in the comforting scent of her. 

“You won’t be bored?” She asked, looking up at him through her lashes as she attempted to fight the sleep off. 

Jasper smiled lightly. “Is it creepy if I said that I actually enjoy watching you sleep?” He asked, arching a curious brow at her. 

Camila snickered softly. “A little bit.” She admitted cheekily. 

Jasper’s chest shook with a slight chuckle at her bluntness. “I can’t help it, you just look so peaceful.” He explained, giving her a bright smile, teeth shining in the moonlight. 

Camila lifted her head slightly, getting a better look of the beautiful smile he had been graciously sharing with her. “Do you ever miss being able to sleep?” She asked, curiosity coursing through her. 

He looked up in though for a moment, eyes coming back, meeting her own as he gave his answer. “Sometimes. It’s been so long, so I don’t really know what I’m missing out on I suppose.” He admitted, his cool fingers lifting to brush the hair from her face. He leaned forwards slightly, pressing his lips lightly to hers in a soft kiss, breaking away with a grin as he listened to her heart rate pick up from the touch. “Stop stalling, sleep.” He urged. 

Camila groaned, rolling her eyes playfully as she lowered her head back to his chest. “Fine.” She muttered, letting her eyes flutter closed. 

Jasper’s eyes lingered on her sleeping frame as he concentrated on the beating of her heart. Her tank top hung loosely on her frail shoulders, her chest slowly rising and falling as she sucked in the deep breaths of sleep. 

The burn in his throat persisted, Camila’s parents’ blood pumping heavily through their veins in such close proximity. Although he knew that his thirst hadn’t wavered, being so near the humans had grown easier to manage over time. Easier to let his mind wander on thoughts of Camila rather than thoughts of bloodlust. It was times like these that he missed being able to sleep, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms and be able to dream of her. 

So, instead he spent this time day dreaming of her. Day dreaming of the future they may one day have with each other. Thoughts of being able to not only drape his arm around her body, but truly hold her. He knew that he was getting carried away, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help it that when he pictured his future, she was always there at his side, or rather she was there in the forefront, his future itself.

——————

February 7th, 2005

Camila awoke in the morning to her mother gently shaking her. Vaguely, she remembered, a half asleep goodbye from Jasper, followed by a soft peck to her forehead that must have happened only minutes before. A frown settled on her face, not yet mentally prepared to face the day without her favorite person by her side. She knew she would see him later, that much he had assured her, but that didn’t stop her from dreading spending the next two school days without him in attendance. 

She was however, looking forward to seeing Angela once more, slightly giddy at the fact that she would be able to tell her that Jasper was now officially her boyfriend. She had refrained from telling her mother of this, knowing that it would only raise questions, besides, her mother knew her too well, and the last thing she really needed was a confirmation. 

So she had begrudgingly pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. The cool stream of water stifled the heat of her skin as the stream ran down her spine. Gravity weighed down on her bones, a deep ache radiating through her body. She would be sure to take her meds today, knowing that the pain would only intensify as the hours went on. Although she hated to rely on the pills, she knew that it was necessary, especially given the fact that Jasper would not be there to help distract her. 

The ride to Forks High School was rather quiet, the air around her and her mother filled with soft crunching of Camila’s protein bar. She forced herself to swallow the unsavory food, knowing that she needed the nutrients, regardless of how much she hated the aftertaste. When the van finally came to a stop in front of the dreary building. She quickly stuffed the remainder of her breakfast in her mouth, grabbing her bottle of water as she mumbled something resembling a goodbye to her mother, giving a quick side hug to the woman. 

The fluorescent lit hallways were filled with cheerful chatter, no doubt a side effect of the irregularly sunny day. The ring of the bell rang shrilly signaling the time for first period, and she was surprisingly happy to sit down in the class. The teacher quickly gave them work to do in pairs and she was thankful to be able to speak to the girl without risking getting in trouble for talking in class. 

“Soooo…” She drew out dramatically, gaining the attention of the girl sitting next to her. Angela looked to her, eyes peering over the rim of her glasses quizzically. “Jasper may or may not officially be my boyfriend now.” She informed, watching as a giant smile formed on the girl’s lips in response. 

“Oh my god. I knew it!” She squealed in delight, teeth shining in the fluorescent lighting. “Tell me more, I’m begging.” She said, dramatically clutching her hands together as she pushed her bottom lip out in a pout. 

Camila smiled lightly, a bright blush covering her cheeks as she thought of what to tell the girl that wouldn’t give too much away. “I met his parents this weekend.” She said, opting to add Carlisle in on the meeting as she shouldn’t have had any reason to have met him previously.

Angela’s eyes widened dramatically. “Woah, that’s kinda serious, huh?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. 

The heat burned red hot on her face as Camila looked down at the workbook in front of her bashfully. “Kinda, yeah.” She muttered, smile unwavering from her lips. 

“So they’re ridiculously attractive too, right?” Angela asked, nudging the girl’s shoulder. 

Camila snickered lightly. “Of course.” She admitted. 

Angela perked up in her seat. “So, does this mean that he’s going to take you to prom now?” She asked expectantly, grinning from ear to ear. 

Camila’s smile dropped slightly, forcing herself to not let it falter completely. “No.” She said simply, watching as Angela gave an indignant pout. “We already had plans to spend time with each other, and I’m not much of a prom kind of girl I guess.” She explained feebly, hoping the girl would except her answer without much fuss.

Angela sighed disappointedly. “Fine.” She grumbled.

“But don’t worry.” Camila chirped. “I promise to help find the best dress for you.” She said, smiling brightly. Angela’s lips quirked up in answer, happy to hear the words, and conversation quickly changed topic to getting their work done, neither of the two wanting to have to take the work home to do that night instead. 

——————

Jasper’s day had drug on at a ridiculously slow pace, the absence of Camila glaringly obvious as he attempted feebly to read one of the books off of his shelves. His eyes scanned the pages, knowing deep down that it was of no use. He wasn’t actually absorbing any of the information, as his mind was clearly elsewhere. He wondered, as he recalled the time before he had met Camila, which in reality had only been a short time ago, how he had occupied his time like this. It now all seemed so monotonous, the same books over and over again, growing bored quickly of them, regardless of how much he had previously cared for the stories. He knew them all by heart by now and he made a mental note to try and get some new book recommendations later from Camila.

Once again, his mind had quickly returned to thoughts of the girl. Shocker. How was he expected to have to do this whole thing again just a day later. It was already torture enough as it was. At least, he reminded himself, that he would have the night that he would be able to see her, even if it was just to be in her company as she slept. It surprised him that such a thing didn’t bore him, although he did understand the appeal. The feel of her warm skin against his own cool body, the steady beat of her heart in his ears, everything was a reminder that, at least for now, she was alive and with him. While at the moment, being away from her felt like nothing but a waste of their time. 

Jasper looked over to the clock on the wall for what had to be the thousandth time that day. She would be leaving school now, just that much closer to when he would be able to see her. He would have to wait until the sun set of course. His family were supposed to be out of town camping, so he knew he couldn’t risk anybody seeing him, regardless of if he were to be seen in direct sunlight or not. 

It was days like this that made him question the humans in the town’s intelligence, them all seeming to except their rather lousy excuse for missing school fairly easily. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that most people viewed them as outcasts already, but really, what parent would agree to pull their kids out from school just because it happened to be a sunny day? He supposed he should be grateful for their ignorance, but at the moment, all he could do was stare impatiently at the pages of his book, willing time to somehow go by faster. 

After an agonizing wait in which felt like eternity, the sun had finally set, and in a blink of an eye, he had fled the glass house, determined to make this the fastest run of his life. As the small pale yellow house came into view, he felt like he could breath again. In truth, he hadn’t noticed the weight on his chest until it had lifted. Unlike their usual routine, when Jasper rounded the corner, he could see her, sitting at the open window, gazing out at the night sky. When her eyes finally met his own, a small smile spread across her face.

“I got overheated.” She explained, stepping back from the open window to allow him inside. It was the truth, one of the many side effects of her illness had caused her to have hot flashes and she had awoken in a particularly bad one at that, but she would be lying if she had said it was the only reason she had been staring out into the wilderness that night. She hadn’t realized just how difficult it would be for her to miss Jasper’s company that day, having already had a drastically decreased amount of time with him that weekend, and she had been counting down the minutes until sunset. 

Jasper smiled, pulling her into his cool chest, knowing that the temperature difference would help sooth her without the risk of catching a cold from the chilled February night air. Her face nuzzled into the icy fabric of his clothing, sighing as she allowed herself the comfort of his embrace. All too soon, Jasper parted ways, only to shut the window and drag her to her bed to get comfortable, pulling her back into himself. 

“How was school?” He asked, muttering the words into her hair as he rested his head atop hers. 

She groaned out a dramatic sound. “Horrible.” She said bluntly, earning a laugh from the golden haired vampire. 

He rolled his eyes playfully at her words. “It couldn’t have been that bad, could it?” He asked. 

Camila lifted her body, coming to a seat next to him as he wrapped his arm securely around her waist. “Yes actually.” She stated matter of factly. She thought for a moment, looking for the right words that wouldn’t make it seem like his absence alone had completely ruined her day. “It was nice to see Angela and Bella, but Tyler wouldn’t leave me alone.” She groaned out. 

Camila had been lucky to avoid Tyler for the most part, but unfortunately, he had of course taken notice of Jasper’s absence and had decided that it was the best time to try and be friends again. Much to her annoyance, he had talked her ear off during lunch and only continued to do so on their way to biology class. All of the talking had created a particularly horrible headache behind her brow and she begged whatever higher power there was that he would shut up for once in his life. 

She internally scolded herself for being continuously friendly to him, but realistically, it wasn’t like she could just turn around and be an ass to him when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong since he had apologized. Unfortunately for herself, she had convinced herself to be as kind as possible to everybody unless given a reason not to be. The reality of it was that she didn’t have the time nor energy to be unkind, something the she was starting to question was showing to be true in this case.

By the time their calculous class came around, she was for once happy to have silence. Although she would have much preferred to have Jasper’s company, she was glad to have peace and quiet for the first time that day. She had never been so thankful that they had assigned seats and Tyler was stuck far away from her, finally giving her space to breath. Her head had continued to pound relentlessly as she counted down the minutes until she would be able to return home, take her meds, and sleep off the migraine. A sleep that she had just recently woken from.

Tyler. The boys name had caused Jasper’s body to stiffen. He knew it wasn’t his right to be bothered by him, but in all truth he couldn’t stand the boy. Maybe it was mostly jealousy, but he had jus rubbed him the wrong way from the beginning. “He wouldn’t shut up, and I’m not trying to be rude, but we aren’t even really friends and he was giving me a headache.” She admitted, a grimace casted on her face. 

Jasper laughed lightly, relieved that the boy hadn’t gone and upset her with his words yet again. “Only one more day, and we’ll be back. I promise to scare him off.” He joked, a smirk unwavering on his lips. 

Camila threw her head back in a groan as she pouted her lips childishly, Jasper desperately wanting to kiss the pout away. “I don’t know if I’ll make it.” She said dramatically.

Jasper leaned forwards, bringing his lips to hers, deciding to not hold back any longer as he gave her a light kiss upon her lips. She smiled into his touch, the playful pout melting instantly as she molded her mouth to his. He pulled away, not allowing the kiss to last too long. He gave her a sheepish smile before speaking. “If it makes you feel any better, I was almost bored to death without you.” He admitted. 

Camila smiled lightly, glad to know that the ‘torture’ was not one sided. One more day and he would be back, she could do it, right? “I’m almost tempted to skip tomorrow.” She admitted. “But I promised Angela that I would go prom dress shopping with her in Port Angeles after school, so I can’t really act sick for half the day very easily.” She continued. 

Jasper quirked an eyebrow at his girlfriend. “Are we going to prom?” He asked confused. He had been sure the event had been off of the table given her physical limitations, but now he wasn’t so sure. Perhaps she had changed her mind now that they were dating. Maybe it was him who dropped the ball when he hadn’t asked to make sure his theory was correct.

She shook her head. “No, defiantly not. Even if I could go, I don’t think I’d want to. I’d rather just spend time alone with you.” She admitted, allowing Jasper to let out an internal sigh of relief. “I just promised to help her find a dress is all.” She said. 

He nodded his head in understanding, ignoring the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, the idea of her being out in the city without him made a chill go up his spine, even if the reality of it was impossible. Realistically what could go wrong? She would be out with friends and she would be able to sit the majority of the time. Regardless, he couldn’t shake the feeling of something bad happening. “Text me if you need me to pick you up early.” He said, receiving a gracious nod from her in response. 

He tried his best to shake his unease as he sat with her, holding her, and allowing the touch of her blazing skin on his own to calm the racing thoughts in his mind. He changed the subject, remembering to ask for book recommendations as he attempted to steer his mind from the unnecessary panic that refused to leave. 

——————

February 8th, 2005

Camila had never wished more to take her jacket off, the heat of the day causing a sheen of sweet to cover her forehead, despite the temperature not being above seventy. Of course, the entire school had decided to sit outdoors, given the ‘beautiful’ weather, and the long sleeves that she wore were beginning to stick to her skin. She wondered briefly if it was worth it to try and cover the bruises with makeup rather than the extra layer of fabric. 

Her thoughts halted as she realized that this solution would only end up solving one of her two issues. Her bones would still continue to protrude from her muscles, something that was sure to only get worse as she grew sicker and sicker. The last thing she needed was people growing concerned of her health in any way shape or form. 

She shook the thoughts from her head, looking up from the unappetizing food to Bella who was sat opposite on the picnic table. The girl’s eyes wandered around at the crowd of students gathered in the unusual sunny grounds, seemingly anxious about something. “He’s not here.” Jessica spoke from her spot atop the table where she perched soaking in the rays of sunshine. Bella looked up, slightly embarrassed that she had been caught looking for him. “Whenever the weather’s nice, the Cullens disappear.” She explained, eyes closed as her face tilted up towards they sky. 

Bella looked to her, slightly confused. “What, do they just ditch?” She asked curiously.

“No, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen yank them out for, like hiking and camping and stuff.��� Jessica explained. Camila hummed, a small smirk forming on her lips. Was this really the excuse they had come up with? It was kind of lame is she was being honest. Very vague at lease, but did she really expect anything else at this point? “I tried that out on my parents. Not even close.” Jessica continued, earning a snicker from Camila.

Angela rushed towards the group, her long brunette hair falling over her shoulders as she settled into a spot next to Bella. “Bella, are you sure you have to go out of town for prom? Camila isn’t going either. It’s going to be lonely without you guys.” She said, giving a dramatic pout. 

Bella grimaced at the question, seemingly just as perturbed as anytime Camila had been asked about the topic. “Oh, yeah, it’s a little family thing.” She explained dismissively. She turned to Camila, arching an eyebrow at the girl. “You’re not going?” She asked, surprised by the fact that she had not been the only one in the small town that hadn’t wished to attend the event. 

“What? Couldn’t find a date?” Jessica asked, attempting to pass the snide remark off as a playful joke. Camila’s face dropped, giving her a slight glare not allowing the girl’s comment to pass without a reaction from her. 

Angela perked up, wanting to defend her new friend. “Actually, her and Jasper are dating, but apparently neither of them wanted to go, so they made other plans.” She said, smiling as she gave Camila a teasing glance, causing a blush to creep up to her cheeks. Of course, anytime anyone mentioned him, she had to blush like a little girl with a crush. Honestly, who was she kidding? She wasn’t any better than that anyway. 

Jessica grimaced at the information, muttering something about Jasper ‘being even more of a weirdo than Alice’, earning an even more intense glare from Camila. “Okay, are we still good to go shopping in Port Angeles? I want to go before all the good dresses get cleaned out.” She asked Angela, deflecting the negative attention from the girl beside her. 

Angela nodded enthusiastically, smiling at Camila as she nodded as well. A shrill bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the end of the lunch period. Camila stood, grabbing her lunch tray from the table, attempting to hide how little she had eaten from the greasy array of food with her crumpled up napkin. 

Bella hesitated as the students began to head inside for the next half of classes for the day. “Port Angeles? You mind if I come?” Bella asked.

“Yeah, I need your opinion.” Angela said, grinning widely. Camila sighed, happy that she would have another friend there as a buffer between her and Jessica. It was no secret that the two didn’t like each other. Jessica clearly didn’t like to be talked back to in any sense of the phrase, and Camila wasn’t one to just sit there and take her bullying lightly. The two were bound to butt heads, but luckily she would have Angela and Bella there to lighten the blow of the inevitable disagreements that were to come.

——————

“I like this one, but, like I don’t know about the whole one shoulder thing.” Jessica said, holding the pink spaghetti strap dress in front of her body in the mirror to get a good look at herself. Angela nodded saying something about how the color looked good against her skin. 

Angela held up a dress of her own. “I like this one. What do you think?” She asked Camila expectantly, a bright look in her eye. 

Camila smiles taking in the sight before her, trying her best not to grimace as the headache pounding behind her temple got worse. “Yeah, I like the beading, and you wouldn’t need jewelry.” She argued, giving her best effort in sounding like she was interested and not like she was in a lot of pain. She pulled at the collar of her shirt, a cold sweat covering her forehead. Great, another hot flash, just what she needed.

They had been in the same dress shop from what seemed like hours and had barely gotten anywhere when it came to actually finding dressed for the two girls in front if her. Of course, within that time, her pain meds had completely worn off and the ache in her bones was beginning to rival the pounding in her head.

Angela turned. “Jess, what do you think? Lavender?” She asked the girl, gesturing to dress she was currently wearing. “Is that good? Is that my color?” She continued, fidgeting with the fabric that clung to her body. 

“I like it.” Jessica said quickly. “I like that dusty rose one, too.” She said, turning back to the mirror to admire her own reflection. “Okay, I like this one. It makes my boobs look good.” She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

Knocking on the glass of the window behind her, Camila turned to see a group of four men passing by, all ogling over the girls in the shop before them. “Nice!” One of them yelled, loud enough for the group of girls to hear them through the glass. Camila grimaced lightly at the interaction.

Jessica scoffed, clearly flattered given the wide grin on her face. “That is uncomfortable.” She said, voice trailing off. 

“That’s disgusting.” Bella muttered, looking down at the book in her hands, earning an absent minded nod from Camila. 

Jessica perked up once more. “Bella, what do you think?” She asked. 

Bella looked up, finally giving the two dresses attention as her eyes left the pages of her book. “That looks great.” She said dismissively.

“You said that about, like, the last five dresses, though.” She said, smile dropping slightly as she twirled her hair around her finger. 

Bella smiled bashfully. “I thought they were all pretty good.” She said, laughing lightly. 

Angela looked towards the two girls sitting on the cushioned bench. “You guys aren’t really into this are you?” She asked frowning. 

Camila’s smile dropped, feeling bad that she wasn’t giving Angela the experience she had been looking for. She was trying to sounds enthusiastic, but if she was being honest, she really didn’t care about the dresses at all. All she had wanted was to spend some time with friends outside of school, but now, with the music playing throughout the store, the bright lights, and the hundreds of questions about her opinion of the different dresses they had tried on over the past hour, she was just tired and overstimulated. The pounding of her temples proved that she couldn’t take it much longer. 

“I actually really just want to go to this bookstore.” Bella admitted, giving an apologetic smile. “I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant?” She suggested.

Camila’s ears perked up at this, a perfect excuse to finally leave this god forsaken dress shop. “Do you mind if I come with? I could use some fresh air.” She asked, knowing she would most likely regret it soon, needing to walk to the book shop, but not being able to help herself. If she was being honest, she was almost certain that if she stayed in this shop one more minute her head might explode. Bella nodded, grabbing her coat before leading the way to the door outside. 

Camila let out a sigh of relief as the cool air hit her face, glad to finally be free of the stuffy environment of the shop. Pain ricocheted up her legs as her steps landed on the pavement, attempting to give the pain little thought as she was just glad to have some quiet and cool air on her skin. It frustrated her to no end of course that she was incapable of doing such a simple thing as going shopping with friends, but she would be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought something like this was likely to happen. She would, however, enjoy it while it lasted, knowing she wouldn’t even have the opportunity to do so for much longer.

It was moments like this that made her happy that Bella was a particularly quiet person, and if she was being honest, she quite enjoyed the girls silent company. Her migraine was finally starting to subside as the small book shop came into view. Camila gave Bella a soft smile as she opted to stay outside in the cool air. She checked behind her, to make sure the girl had entered the shop before tearing the long sleeved zip-up hoodie from her frail arms, letting a sigh of relief leave her lips as the cool wind hit her blazing skin. 

She looked down at the pale skin the stretched loosely across her arms, the area scattered with varying shades of bruises. She knew she would only have a moment of sweet relief before Bella returned, so she closed her eyes and chose to savor the time she had been allowed. Her eyes opened, gazing out at the sunset before her. She hadn’t actually realized how late it had gotten and internally scolded herself for the missed time she would end up having with Jasper that night. 

She sucked in a deep breath, taking note of how her chest tightened uncomfortably. Dr Cullen had warned her of the discomfort that breathing would soon bring, but as prepared as she thought she was, she knew that the inevitable struggle would not be anything she could ever be truly prepared for. She knew that this was just the beginning of how horrible it would end up feeling for her. The reality of dying would one day end up being too much for her to handle. 

She wondered for a moment if taking the opportunity that Jasper had offered when the time came would make her brave or a coward. What in the end would be the easy solution? Dying and leaving him, or living and leaving everyone else she loved? In that moment, she wasn’t sure, but she did know what her heart yearned for. The image of his amber eyes flooded her thoughts, the idea of him alone, calming her unsteady breaths. 

A soft bell jingled behind her, pulling her from her wandering thoughts as she quickly pulled the fabric back up her arms and onto her shoulders. She turned taking in the site of Bella walking towards her holding a small book in her hand. “Ready?” She asked, gesturing with a nod to the road ahead. Camila nodded, giving a small smile as they started the trek back to where the restaurant was.

Their shoes thudded against the sidewalk as they walked in silence, a fog starting to settle in around them. They turned, cutting in between two buildings, taking the same route back that they had taken to get there. Suddenly, it became glaringly obvious the stark difference between the alley during the day and at night, and just as suddenly, Camila felt a chill run up her spine. Not the same chill she would get when Jasper touched her, but an eery chill. 

Stood there on the other side of the ally was the group of men who had passed by at the dress shop, looking much more menacing under the dim glow of the street lights. One of the men had just spotted them and had turned in his tracks to move towards them, the rest of the men following his lead. Camila grabbed Bella’s arm, turning back around before swiftly retracing their steps onto the trail they had just taken. 

They were now in a much bigger clearing, although just as deserted, and Camila chastised her self mentally for letting her pain and jumbled thoughts cloud her judgement. She wasn’t stupid, but god did she feel like she was in that moment. If she had been paying more attention she would’ve noticed the time of day or even the lack of people on their walk to the book store. 

Footsteps echoed throughout the air, the men no doubt following them further into the clearing. “Saw you in the dress store.” One of the men called out loudly. Camila forced her eyes to remain ahead, as if ignoring the men would make them disappear.  

“Hey, where are you running to?” Another yelled. Camila’s heart began to race, hearing the thudding in her ears, breath becoming shallow and quick, her lungs tightening with every gasp for air. 

Blinking rapidly, trying to calm her heart and her mind as the panic set it, three more men came into view on the other end of the lot. “What up? It’s my girls.” One said, his eyes meeting hers as the other three coming in closer. A menacing smirk coated his face as she tired to look anywhere but into his dark terrifying eyes. 

One man from behind called out to another. “How you guys doing? Look who we just found.” 

Camila’s hand tightened around Bella’s arm, attempting to ground herself in the moment and not settle into a full blown panic attack. 

“What’s up, girls?”

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Where are you going?”

“Come get a drink with us.”

“Yeah, you should hang out with us, come on.”

“It’s fun.”  

“What’s the problem?” “You’re pretty.”

Voices called out around them as the men got closer and closer starting to cage them in and breaking them apart from each other. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening. The one time she went out with friends, and this happens? Really? Panic was really starting to set in as her mind began to wander further. It was one thing for this to happen to her, I mean her life was about to end anyway, but Bella too? She had her whole life ahead of her. 

“Don’t touch me.” Bella snapped, pulling her arm from one of the men harshly. 

The voices continued to ramble around them. Sadness bloomed in her chest as reality sunk in. Unless a miracle happened soon, they would likely end up dead by the end of this and despite having thought that she was prepared for death, she couldn’t get Jasper’s face out of her mind. Maybe she wasn’t as ready for the end as she had thought. The thought of leaving Jasper was what hurt the most, leaving a gaping hole in her heart. Maybe she was a coward, maybe not, in that moment she didn’t care. All she cared about was him.

Darkness started to encroach her vision, seeping in from all sides. Her body started to feel heavy, pain shooting up her arm as one of the men grabbed harshly at her, his fingers digging into her flesh. She was certain she would faint soon when all of a sudden, the screeching of tires against the pavement behind her cut through her jumbled thoughts. 

She turned her head feebly, a silver Volvo whipping around the corner, causing the men to jump back. Wait a second. She knew that car. Edward, thank god. She thought, relief flooding her veins. She had been sure that they were goners, destined to end up on some Dateline or CSI episode. 

The car jerked to a stop, Edward popping out of the driver seat, quickly followed by Jasper from the passenger seat. “Get in the car.” Edward instructed Bella. 

Jasper rushed to Camila’s side, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist as he allowed her to rest her bodyweight on him, leading her to the back seat of the car. He sat her against the leather seats, pulling back to look her in the eyes. 

Camila took in the view of his face, his hand coming up to brush her cheek gently. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern filling his voice. She nodded in response, letting out a deep shaky breath she didn’t know she had been holding. Relief flooded through her. She wasn’t going to die tonight. Jasper had saved her. Tears pricked her eyes as she pulled him towards her by the collar of his shirt into her open arms. 

She wrapped them tightly around his neck, breathing in his scent. “Thank you.” She whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she tried to blink back the tears. 

Jasper willed himself to pull away from her grip, pressing his lips to hers fiercely before pulling away quicker than he would have liked as he backed up further onto the pavement. “I’ll be right back, stay here.” He instructed, forcing his eyes to leave hers as he stepped away. 

Jasper stood to his full height, closing the door of the vehicle behind him, turning to look at the group of men before him. White hot anger ripped through his chest as he assessed the men. He wanted to kill them. To rip them to shreds for even thinking about doing anything to her. The truth was, if Edward hadn’t convinced Jasper to come along on a trip to watch over Camila and Bella then they would have gone through with the unspeakable. 

Edward had seen what one of the men was thinking. Had seen that he had done this sort of thing to other women before. Had seen that he would do it again given the chance. Jasper squared his shoulders pushing his power out from himself. Pushing fear into the minds of the men before him. Unspeakable fear that would never leave them, never completely. A waking nightmare that would terrify them to their last days, because as much as he wanted to physically hurt them, he knew that he couldn’t. Not with Camila so close and already afraid. This would be the next best thing. This would have to suffice. This would have to tame the beast inside of him.

Their faces morphed into looks of terror and Jasper watched, only slightly satisfied as he watched them scramble away as quickly as their feet would take them. Wishing that he could’ve somehow inflicted more terror on the men.

Jasper turned back to the car, rushing to get inside as Edward closed the driver side door. He joined Camila in the back seat, pulling her towards him and wrapping her into his grasp as Edward sped away from the scene. Camila shook in his arms, the reality of everything that had just happened lingering in the air around them. Vaguely, Jasper could hear the voices of Edward and Bella in the front of the vehicle, although he paid them no mind. All that mattered to him in that moment was Camila. 

He had known deep down that something would happen, he didn’t however think it would have ever been something like this. Something like a group of revolting men attempting to take her away from him. His jaw clenched at the mere thought of it, the idea infuriating him to no end. 

But what enraged him the most was the terror radiating off of Camila. The terror that those vile men inflicted on her. He realized that it was slightly hypocritical to think of these men as monsters while he sat there, knowing of his own past, knowing of the blood on his hands, but he knew he would never even think of doing such a thing to a woman. 

The fact that these men had been about to do such unspeakable things to anyone was bad enough, but to her? The fire in his chest burned hotter as he imagined what he would’ve done to the men had it not been for Camila’s presence. Vivid images overtook his mind. Ripping. Tearing. Blood. Mangled bodies littering the ground. For a moment, he imagined indulging himself on that blood, feasting on the terrible men and for the first time in so long, truly satisfying his eternal thirst. 

“Jasper.” Edward hissed through his teeth. Jasper’s eyes shot up to meet his brother’s in the rear view mirror, seeing his seething glare. He realized in that moment that his vivid mental imagery probably wasn’t helping Edward deal with his own fury over the situation. 

Jasper sucked in a breath that his lungs didn’t need. “Sorry.” He muttered in reply, turning his attention back to the girl in his arms. She gave no sign of fright, her expression completely blank as she looked ahead in a daze, but her body continued to shake ever so slightly. Jasper felt the fear, radiating outwards from her and focused his power on trying to sooth her. Her body relaxed in his arms, letting out a sigh as she buried her face in his neck, breathing in the musky scent of him. 

“Thank you.” She muttered into his skin. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was thanking him for, whether it be saving her, or helping calm her down, or both even, but she thanked him nonetheless. Regardless of its’ origin, she needed her gratitude for him to be known. 

Time moved quickly in a blur around her as the car suddenly came to a halt. She looked up, realizing that Edward had parked the car, seeming to have driven to the restaurant that they had planned on meeting Angela and Jessica at. Camila’s eyes flickered up to Jasper’ face in question. “We should get you something to eat.” He said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

Her eyes bore into his pleadingly. “Can we please stay in the car? I’ll eat when I get home, promise.” She begged, wanting the privacy that the restaurant would not be able to provide. In truth, she hadn’t wanted to leave his arms, his comforting embrace being one of the only things in that moment keeping her grounded. The security of his strong arms around her made her feel safe, made her feel like she was home. In reality, that is what he had become to her, her home. 

Jasper paused for a moment, contemplating their options before nodding. Bella was sure to have many questions and this was definitely not the time for anything resembling a double date. 

Soon, the two were alone the radio playing softly in the background of their silence. “I’m sorry.” Camila muttered quietly, breaking the comfortable silence. 

Jasper’s head turned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you have to be sorry for?” He asked, grabbing her chin to turn her head to force her eyes to his own. 

She sucked in a shaky breath, “I wasn’t thinking when I left with Bella or I would’ve convinced her to stay with Jessica and Angela. I had headache and needed some fresh air and-“ She rambled on.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He interrupted, having not had the patience to listen to her attempt to punish herself further. “It is not your fault that there are horrible people in the world.” He assured her, resting his forehead on hers. 

Camila closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of Jasper’s skin against her own. She was beyond lucky and she knew it. Lucky that Edward and Jasper were there, listening, paying attention to make sure that Bella and her were safe. She would have thanked him again if it weren’t for his persistence that it wasn’t her fault. Camila knew that it was though, knew that she should have been thinking more clearly, should have been more aware. 

So, instead of thanking him once more verbally, she leaned forward to plant a kiss to his lips. She leaned fervently into the touch, pouring every ounce of emotion into the kiss as possible, her lips moving in sync with his own. In that moment she knew. Knew that this was the coward’s way out. Choosing Jasper was most definitely the easier of her two options. Living her life with him, grasping at their forever had to be the cowardly choice, because the other option seemed so much more torturous. 

Next Chapter -coming soon

Tag List:

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[mandy-asimp]

Winter Getaway

summary: Y/n and Larissa Weems have never interacted unless needed. Which was almost everyday as Y/n had to explain why a random plant or tree had appeared in the courtyard. So when a friend convinces Y/n out of the comfort zone at the school getaway, many things happen.

pairings: Larissa Weems x Teacher!reader

warnings: cursing, smut, pet names, virgin! reader, don/sub dynamics, mommy kink, dumbifiation(?), so much teasing that it dragged this on.

note: this idea has been lingering in my head so i'm finally going to write it. it's also like kinda long? It does have length to it so. also if this doesn't make sense at some points its because i went back a lot

"Dr. L/n, what's the excuse this time?" Her tone was colder than usual. Had you done something? Or was it someone else? "Dr. L/n?"

You didn't notice you stayed silent. Soon being trapped in her gaze as she looked up to figure out your silence. She looked at you weird. Your mind started fumbling trying to get a sentence out to answer her.

She gave a heavy sigh. "If you don't have a sentence or even an excuse you're free to leave. I'll just write it down as a class project." She pulled out the file where she started putting all your class accidents. "One thing, are you joining the school on the Winter Getaway?"

With the topic changing, you felt less pressure. "I...I don't think I will. I was just gonna give my secret Santa their gift before everyone left." You explained softly. Your voice being so quiet.

"But you've never attended one? You've been her for almost five years." She furrowed her brows. And all you could focus on was how her eyes held some sense of sadness and worry. "Everyone usually has a lot of fun on the trip. We fly down to Florida, stay at a nice hotel for a week, then we take the next week and cruise. You'll really enjoy it."

You stood frozen, never noticing her walking towards you. You never even noticed when she got up. Her figure towered you. To meet her eyes, you had to fully look up or stand on a chair. Your breathing quickened.

The moment would've lasted if vines didn't start growing out of her plants. You stepped back, diverting your gaze away from her.

"Enjoy your getaway, Principal Weems." You spat before quickly leaving the room.

Before heading back to your room, you did your rounds. Checking that all your students were packed and ready to leave in the morning. Then you went to your own room.

Smiling when you saw Lizzie in your kitchen. She was your best friend forever. You two grew up next to each other and mostly told each other everything,

"Your bag is already packed." She pushed over your glass of wine. "You're coming this year and if you don't I will drag you with."

"Liz, no. You know I always get homesick on long trips. Plus, I don't have any actual clothes for this trip. I only own baggy jeans and baggy shirts." You took the glass, sipping it as you went to look at the bag. "What's even in here?"

"I went and bought you an entire wardrobe for two weeks. You forget I know all your measurements." She teased. "There's a lot that's still in your comfort zone. I kept it baggy shirts, but I got you shorts."

Your eyes widened. Realzing that Weems would finally see the leg tattoos you had. Everyone else had seen them, but she hadn’t. She never was at the staff parties.

You got your tattoo after your grandfather. He got his tattoo to look soft and not as manly. Growing up you adored his. You and him were strongly bonded when you were born. That's why most of your family thinks you got plants. His inspired yours.

Your legs were vines that had all sorts of plants, but it went all the way up to end behind your ear. His favorite flower ending the entire things.

"Liz. You know I don't like that idea." You frowned. Dragging the bag to your room to see what she actually got you.

She scoffed at your words. "I know you don't, but you're literally a goddess who doesn't know how to take a compliment."

She was right about the compliment part. "What if everyone stares? But not in the way that's good." Your brought up, pulling out clothes. Staring at everything. "Lizzie, it's too much."

"It's not enough. Also, everyone’s already seen them. You're going to spend two weeks in warm weather. With how badass you'll look, you could probably find a lover. But he better treat you right." The blonde smirked from her spot.

You stayed silent. It was something you tended to do when hiding something or nervous. Lizzie was no newbie to this sign. "You're hiding something aren't you?" You just gave a nod. "Do you already have a man? Is it Alex?! You two are always talking!"

"Liz." You cut her from going on. You looked in her eyes and raised your right hand. She was confused and mimicked you. So when your wrist fell limp, hers did to. And her brown eyes almost fell out.

"Are you serious?!" She yelled. "You've never told me why?!"

You shrugged, "I was never certain but then a few years ago, I became slightly more certain, then this year I was certain"

She squinted at you, knowing there was something, or someone who made you certain. And her next guess was wild, but she wanted to know. "It's Weems, isn't it?"

You immediately left the room. Listening to her squeal so loud that you almost missed the knock on your door. You opened it not knowing that Lizzie would come running into the room shouting.

"You have a crush on Weems!" She screamed in excitement.

Never have you felt more heat on you than this moment. You wanted to be pulled into the ground by the plants. You knew vines were about to start invading your room.

Lizzie came up behind you to see who was at the door. When she did, her smile dropped quicker than you could think. You walked away from the door without another word. Locking yourself in your room.

The two just stood by the door stunned. Jumping as they heard your piercing scream. Watching as the plants all over started to grow. The room shook for a brief moment.

You walked out then. Nothing happened. You went to stand in front of Lizzie in the doorway. "Principal Weems, what can I help you with?" Your voice wasn't stable but you wanted to end this night conversation now.

"I just was told about a lot of shouting and wanted to make sure everything was ok." She answered. Her mind wanted to think about what she now knew, but her eyes searched yours for any sign of anything really. "So, is everything ok?"

"Just wonderful. Professor Boris was just telling me why I'm going on the trip." You answered sweetly. "She just got a bit excited when I caved."

Weems jumped between you and Lizzie. "Right, then I shall see you both in the morning, please try and keep it down."

"Goodnight, Principal Weems." You smiled softly as she walked away. You closed the door with the same softness of your smile. Turning and ready to lecture the life out of Lizzie.

Her arms were up, ready to hold you back. "I didn't know she was at the door!" She defended. You opened your mouth and let it shut instantly. Shaking your hands in anger at her while you went to repack. "But! You're coming with!"

~T.S~

The morning came and when you were doing your head count of your students, you could hardly look at Weems. Yet you could feel her icy eyes staring you down.

Your group was set to start boarding the bus to the airport. The kids all swarming to sit next to their friends and start eagerly talking.

You took a window seat near the front and pulled out your book and sketch book. You would assume that Lizzie would come sit next to you as her group was on the same bus.

You let yourself get lost in the words and pages. Even though the book was about things you already knew. Plants. As your eyes scanned over every letter, your free hand was subconsciously drawing what the plant looked like.

The habit was something that kept you calm over the years. It kept you distracted from the noise of the kids.

You were so lost you didn't acknowledge the person sit down next to you.

"So you also draw plants?" A familiar voice hummed. Breaking your silence. You looked over and smiled at the man. It was Alex.

You gave a soft hum. "It keeps me distracted. I didn't know your group was on this bus?"

"It got changed that each bus could hold four groups. I guess I got lucky to be on the same bus as you. So what plant is that?" He went back to your drawing. Secretly loving the way you would ramble on about them.

And that's exactly what you did. Telling him all sorts of facts about plants. At first it was one plant, then two, then three, and before you really knew it, you were at the airport getting off. A sheepish smile on your face as you realized you talked his ear off.

"I didn't mean to talk the entire time. I'm sorry," You were quick to apologize. Standing on the side as all your kids got off the bus.

He chuckled, "If I didn't want you to keep talking I would've stopped you. But you're really passionate about plants. I have to go do head count, but hopefully on the plane ride you can tell me more?"

You smiled and just nodded, watching him leave your side. Going back on to make sure everyone had everything. Collecting a few pairs of headphones and cases. You made it to the back and then finally turned around. Jumping at the woman who stared at you.

"Principal Weems! Y-You scared me! What can I do for you?" You felt the distance between you wasn't enough. It was too small. There was no space for you anymore. You needed to feel the cold air on your skin before vines started to appear.

"I was just checking to make sure everything was picked up, but it seems you beat me to it!" She laughed. It was such a delicate sound. One you could always listen to. One you wish you could cause. How you wished you could be the cause of that sound. "Dr. L/n? Are you with me?"

A distant hum brought you back. "Right sorry! Um, I just found a few headphones and their cases. Everything else has been taken." You spat out.

You knew from the moment she started walking towards you, vines would start coming from somewhere. They would come in and drag you out. Only taking you and causing no harm. She was getting closer and there were no vines in sight.

Every step she took towards you, you took one back. The racing thought of how much space you actually had left was screaming. You needed to get out.

Your back hit a wall finally. Your breathing was intense. Your eyes were searching her entire face. Your mind was just a big jumble. Your body frozen.

There was something that made you want to stay here. That the vines wouldn't show up. That there was something else you could do.

Suddenly, your brain went silent. Weems was talking, but you couldn't hear anything. Instead you raised your hands. Holding them together and focusing the nervousness into them.

You looked down at them. Weems following. There was a chocolate cosmos in your hands.

You blinked a few times before pushing it to Weems. For a split second, her fingers touched yours. She took the flower carefully and watched you rush past her.

Lizzie waved you over as you rushed into the building. She looked worried at how quiet and pale you looked.

Before she asked you started speaking. "When I get too nervous vines usually start to grow from somewhere and come for me. They'll pull me away into safety. We were on the bus and she was really close and instead of vines, a flower appeared in my hand. Not a simple daisy, no I mean one that I've never seen in real life. I was drawing it on the bus earlier and then it was in my hands."

"You gave her a flower?!" Lizzie whispered loudly. Her eyes trained ahead of her.

"I was panicking! It felt different. When the vines come, the feeling that rushes through me is shaky, unstable. But this...it was the most stable I felt. It was like those fireworks they describe when you kiss your crush of a million years. When you open the gift you wanted. Like when you met Rob. That type of stable." You were rambling. Your eyes looked behind you and met hers.

She was holding her bags and still had the flower in her hand. She raised it to her nose and deeply inhaled. You could feel her inhale almost. When she exhaled, you could actually feel it behind your ear.

You looked away and held behind your ear.

"What's going on with you?" Lizzie finally looked to you. She became worried with how concentrated and confused you were. "You look like you're about to die."

"I think I'm one with the plants. I have all sorts of my favorite flowers tattooed on my body. My grandpa's favorite is tattooed behind my ear. She smelt the flower and I could feel her breath. Either I'm evolving like some Pokémon, or I'm going insane." You gave a dry laugh.

Lizzie was trying to think of some plan to test it out. "Can you conjure up another one that's on you?" She asked.

You thought about the feeling you felt earlier and closed your eyes. Knowing that doing this in public would be risky if you got caught.

You knew on your left calf there was a juliet rose. You thought of it and the feeling Weems gave you. And surely enough, there was a flower in your hand. Giving it over to Lizzie, she smelt it. Then her exhale was on your calf.

Your eyes widen and so did hers. "You're one with the plants that are on you?! Is that why the vines were so persistent?!" Lizzie was excited for you.

"I can literally feel plants!" your body began to shake with happiness. It's always been a skill you had heard and wanted. You always thought it was fake. But here you were.

The only downfall you now faced: Larissa Weems had a flower from you.

Your actions ceased. You turned around to her again. Her hand started to reach for the petals, about to start caressing them.

"Liz, she has a flower. Her flower is right behind my ear. A chocolate cosmos. Liz, she can't have that flower." You began to panic.

"Then go get it. This trip is outside of your comfort zone and you're discovering things, so go discover a way to get it. We're not teenagers where I was the messenger." Liz shook her head. Knowing your next words would be asking her. "And before you ask me, what do I say, I'm telling you now, just ramble." She smiled at you. "And finally! If it goes wrong and you get too stressed, just know, we're taking edibles before we get to TSA. I know you too well for that."

"Is that why you forced me to eat breakfast this morning? To get me high?" You laughed.

Lizzie only beamed wider. "I plan too keep you from sober for the next two weeks. Now go! Get your flower."

You gave a stiff nod and turned to the tall beauty. Her blue eyes already on you. The urge to run away was strong, but you needed that flower back.

So you stepped away from where Liz was, moving towards her. Never once breaking eye contact. Your hands were fidgeting at your sides. You didn't know how to approach this at all and your mind was hectic once more.

Your feet felt so heavy. Had they always been this heavy? They couldn't have been. You were sure you would've noticed. But then again, would you? Why is this what you're worrying about? How are you getting that flower? Are you going to tell her that you can feel everything she does?

"Y/n!" Alex. He pulled you from your drowning questions. "Are you alright?"

"Oh! Yeah! I just had to talk to Weems before TSA." You answered.

You could tell you were close enough for her to hear and read your lips.

"About?" He questioned. Wanting to know further. "Is it about the flower she found?"

How oblivious he is.

"Yeah! Actually it's really strange. Being one with plants, uhhh, it allows me to feel anything they feel. And she has a flower I've never seen and I just wanted to ask her about it. But I can feel it's life draining and I want to nurse it back to health." You partly lied and partly told the truth.

Weems' eyebrow raised when she hear you could feel what the flower felt. But she wanted to test it. So she smelt it again. Blowing out this time. Watching how your eyes jumped to her as your hand felt behind your ear. That wasn't enough though. She wanted to push you.

The flower, the dark colors, were brought up to her vibrant red lips. Soft kisses started to appear behind your ear.

You took a sharp inhale. Once again jumping to look at her. A devilish smirk on her face.

"I'll see you on the plane though?" You looked back to Alex. Your classic soft smile being given for comfort.

He left you once again and you almost instantly locked eyes with Weems. Continuing your path to her.

"Dr. L/n."

"Principal Weems. That flower...I um," you started becoming short of breath. Your eyes fell to the flower in her hand then back up to her. Your eyes began to flutter. The feeling was being too much and you needed to let it out before vines started to show up.

And without thinking you grabbed her hands. Wrapping them around your as you felt flower petals form. You were learning so much about yourself.

"Dr. L/n are you okay?" She frowned, not understanding why she was covering your hands.

You knew the petals were to some flowers on your body and feeling her hands just resting on the petals was then on your body. And she didn't mean to squeeze, but she was trying to get you to open your eyes and look at her.

The smallest whimper left your mouth at the squeeze. You nodded your head. Not daring to acknowledge the redness of your face.

You opened your hands and eyes. Laughing weakly at how many different petals were in her hands. You could pick out which flower they all belonged to.

Finally coming back to reality, you went to start grabbing them, but Weems pulled her hands away. You furrowed your brows at the new absence. Craning your head to see her eyes.

"Principal Weems?" You whispered her name. Childishly reaching for her hands again.

You watched in awe as she put all the petals in one hand and used the other to carefully run over them. Sending shivers all over your body. The feeling was all to much for you.

You stepped closer to her, needing her to free you of the feeling. "Please..." you stared up at her with glistening eyes. Surely, you felt your body come back and your feelings dial down.

"I'm going to have so much fun with these." She matched your volume. "I'm going to find out which one makes you squirm."

"Principal Weems, I don't think that such a good idea." You shook your head.

You didn't have to think, you knew it was a bad idea. Too much could make you do something you won't be able to control. It genuinely scared you about these new found abilities.

"And why is that, darling?" She hummed.

You didn't get to answer as your phone went off. You backed up, knowing that it was Liz who texted you.

Then you left the woman. Finding your way right next to Lizzie. She could sense your defeat. Which is why she handed over the brownie. Waiting impatiently for it to finally kick in.

~T.S~

Sitting on the plane was fine. Well, it was fine.

Lizzie sat in the window seat, you in the middle, and you had an open seat. Knowing Alex would probably take it.

"Bro, imagine if Weems was high." Lizzie looked over to you. Her eyes barely open.

You stifled the loud laughter in you. "Do you think she would still be able to function as the giant goddess she is?"

"Dude, imagine we give her the last bit." She laughed. It was that stupid high laugh she always had, which would make you laugh more.

And for a solid five minutes you two just laughed at nothing. Trying to collect yourself when someone walked up to the open seat. Without thinking you greeted the person, still thinking Alex was taking the seat with you. "Hey, Alex." You got out between your panting.

Alex would've known why you guys were laughing. And when you reached for the last part of the brownie to hand over to him, you froze when you realized it wasn't him.

Your hand immediately came back to you, and you felt the adrenaline cancel out everything. You elbowed Liz, signaling for her to look and act normal.

"Principal Weems!" You blinked. Still feeling the laughter trying to escape. You didn't feel like your normal antsy self in front of her. Instead, after realizing who it was, you calmed down. Like you weren't talking to Weems, but to Larissa. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if this seat was taken?" She question, gesturing to the blue seat.

"Oh! Please sit!" Liz answered before you could. "Would you like the last of Y/n's brownie?" She offered, motioning to the brownie in hand.

You glanced at her. Mouthing are you sure? Knowing exactly what plan she had. Lizzie nodded and focus back to Weems. You followed soon after. "Yeah, I made them earlier this week. They're plant based!" Lizzie laughed while you tried to keep you cool. Weems, however, wasn't even laughing.

"I hope that two of my staff members aren't high before we even left state?" She stared at you both.

"Principal Weems, if we see those two, we'll for sure report them to you!" Lizzie stupidly joked. Causing you to finally crack.

You had to force yourself to be sober. "Larissa, it's because I get anxious on take off and landing. Lizzie just takes one with me so I'm not alone." You spoke without processing the names you said. "By the time we land, both of us will be fine. Liz falls asleep ten minutes into the ride."

Your eyes traveled up her entire body, finally taking in her outfit. She wasn't in her usual heels and dress. Instead she had on grey sweats and a Nevermore crewneck. And finally, your eyes met hers.

Those piercing blues. You felt your breath catch. She was staring back at you. Almost like she was waiting for you to tell her to sit. Words seemed to fail you(not the first time) so you just bobbed your head.

The seconds that passed from her standing to her sitting where in slow motion. You couldn't tear away from her every move and how elegant she looked doing it all. Then when she sat, she was still taller than you.

Time froze. You've had slight physical touches with her. But the burning feeling you were feelings.

Her thigh pressed against yours.

You were doomed.

How does one go through an entire plane ride with a stunningly indescribable woman near?!

Luckily, you didn't get to think long as the plane was getting ready to take off. You had missed the entire build up and now you were worried.

Your leg started to bounce, the one the was pressed against Larissa's. She had noticed but didn't mind. After all, you were just nervous. Yet, when the plane starts to build speed and your hand grabs hers, you close your eyes.

Larissa jumped at the sudden contact. Her mind didn't have to think twice. She just held yours back and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

~T.S~

Your eyes slowly peeled open. You vision was on a tilt, confusing you. Your head rolled to look up at the thing your head was against.

"Well, good morning," Larissa hummed. "So you're a cuddler?"

Your brows furrowed together before realizing. You had the woman's arm in yours and legs over hers. How were you even comfortable?

You began to detangle yourself, "Principal Weems I am so sorry!"

"Oh, don't be darling. I hope you're well rested." She beamed down at you. Letting the smile grow at your blush. Had you always blushed around her like that? Why had she never noticed? Why did you look even cuter?

Just then, the person in front of you turned around. Alex. He was smiling down at you, and you couldn't help the smile that appeared.

"When we land, and get settled in, do you want to combine our groups and get dinner together?" He questioned. His brown eyes had this sparkle of hope.

"So, what if I told you, that I don't even know where we're staying?" You couldn't help the small laugh that fell from your mouth. "I literally was given my group this morning without a single detail. Liz had planned me going when the trip was announced."

"I'm just that great of a friend. I have three given gifts...find Y/n love, let Y/n rant when needed, and drag Y/n on unwanted adventures." The brunette popped into the topic. "We're all given schedules based on our groups for a reason Alex. Reservations were impossible to make for so many hungry teens. Y/n is at the Rainforest Café for dinner tonight."

You knew easily Lizzie was up to something. She didn't care about reservations and following them. But whatever she had planned, you were trusting her.

"So, I am warning you Alexander Smith. You fuck up my hard work of making reservations, and it. Is. War." Liz pointed a stiff finger at him. Making his smile fade slightly.

"Don't worry, Smith. We still have the Secret Santa exchange." You brightened the mood. "Whenever that actually is."

"Tonight, by the pool." Liz cut in once more.

"Then tonight we'll see each other!" You shrugged. Trying your absolute best to ignore the hand creeping on your thigh. "Who, um, who'd you get anyways?" You tried to carry the conversation longer.

"Oh, I got Cawthon. I just got him a really nice cologne and his favorite brand of hoodies." He openly answered. "What about you? Who was yours?"

You frowned knowing you couldn't actually say. Seeing as her hand was literally on you trying to find some reaction. "I would say but they're too close and if they heard."

He playfully glared at you. "I always forget you never trade a secret for a secret. You're sneaky, ya' know that?"

Shooting him a wink, "I don't do that! Liz knows all my secrets, and I know hers. So therefore, I do trade. Just has to be a good one." He slumped into his seat mumbling silly things. You knew he was laughing just as much as you. You leaned forward to whisper. "Don't be so easy to fool next time Smith."

"Ha-ha, you're so wise!" He whispered back. "Did Liz plan everything?"

"She got the torch passed once Greene left. She's planned everything before anyone could even ask.. I'm still trying to figure out how she got me to pay?"

Lizzie leaned forward, "I took your card and went to get the money. You need to use your card more. You never buy anything. So much money."

"Nosey fucker!" You scolded her. Taking both back with your language. They hardly heard you curse, so when you did it was a big deal. "I hate you both."

You returned to sitting normally. Finally acknowledging the white haired woman. First her hand and how high it had gotten on your leg, then on her face. Mostly those eyes.

They never were on your face, no, but on her hand as well. There was this darkness to her eyes. One you've never seen on anyone.

A gasp so quiet it was only heard by one person. Larissa had moved her hand to your hip bone. Tracing circles over it.

Letting your hand carefully move up to her face to bring her eyes to yours. You could only stare at her. Taking it in. Drinking her like she was expensive wine.

You began to lean in, and so did she. You were so close. So close you could feel her breath on you face.

You eyes fluttered open. You glanced over to Larissa. Then to Lizzie, who was still out, and back to Larissa. She was now focused on you and how scattered you seemed.

"Are you alright?" She kept her voice hushed. "You seem a bit confused. Did you have a dream of some sorts?" You could only nod, words just not seems.

"Was it scary?"

You shook your head.

"Was it with someone?" You stayed still. "Oh so it was. Who was it with? Some secret crush?"

You slowly met her gaze. Brows laced together. "Have you ever been in love?" You spat out.

Larissa was taken aback. Obviously she had been, but that was forever ago and it never ended pretty.

"Once. Many years ago. When I was a student, I was in love with my roommate. We got into an argument and I switched rooms." She simply explained.

You could only giggle. "Morticia Addams? Is that why you would have such a thing against her?"

Now she was gobsmacked. "How did you know?"

"I'm the student who had done the research project on alumni from Nevermore. I had sent you and email asking to interview you but never got a response, but Morticia was more than happy to be the center of attention." You didn't realize what you were saying, still feeling hazy from waking up. "Anyone could've seen it."

"You were the one who's paper went world known?" She had never once noticed you. "You're so smart, I would've known you."

"Not really. You were graduated by the time I started. And I figured if I couldn't have the one I wanted to meet for so long, I would pick her second best." You sighed.

Larissa didn't get time to respond as the plane began to land. She grabbed your hand before you could search for hers.

Your eyes screwed shut and it was over before you could catch up to the situation.

Once you were positive you were safe, you let out a airy 'thank you’ but didn't remove your hand. Keeping hers in yours. Even when getting ready to get off, you and her stepped out of your seats to let Lizzie out. And you didn't realize how you pressed back into her. You also failed to acknowledge her sharp intake.

Her only thought was what a little tease.

Your hands finally let go as you had to do head count.

And you two didn't see each other for the rest of the rides.

~T.S~

You knocked on the door to your groups room. Thankful when they had connected rooms and were all in one.

"Perfect! Dinner is at eight, but be ready earlier so you can do some shopping before hand." You waltzed in. Beginning on water the plants that were around their room.

"Tell us about you and Weems!" Someone asked.

You turned around and narrowed it down to Ajax. "What do you mean?" You laughed off.

"Oh come on! You two on the entire trip here?! There's an entire group chat dedicated to you two! You were literally cuddled up on the plane!" Bianca walked into the room. "Plus, words in. Weems is in room 2140. And I'm pretty sure that is also your room."

"Nothing is going on between us! Yes maybe there's been something happening but nothing more. She's my boss." You sighed in defeat.

The room was curious now. "What's been happening?" Enid tilted her head at you. You were going to say nothing, but once you turned, you saw those damn puppy eyes. Leading you to cave and telling the small group everything.

After an hour of fan girling about your crush, you finally left to get ready. Walking in, you only saw one door, meaning one bedroom. You knew you were sharing and were already content with taking either or, but for now you settled with the bed.

Hoisting your bag onto covers. Unzipping it and grabbing what Lizzie said was your first dinner outfits. She even texted you to remind you.

You folded it, along with fresh undergarments. Smiling when she even packed your wooly green cardigan.

You spun around, ready to shower away your travel. Jumping at the sight of your roommate.

"Larissa!" You screamed. "Scared the soul out of me!"

She could only hum at that. "I take it your my roommate?"

You nodded, "I can take the couch. It doesn't bother me."

"Nonsense, you can get the bed." Larissa shook her head.

Her silver hair was up but you could only imagine it down and blowing in the wind. Which is no different from how she wished she could see your hair down and free.

You were stubborn at times. This being one of them. "No, I promise I'll be ok out there. It even has a better view of the mini forest. Take the bed, I'll be fine. Now, I'm gonna shower to head to dinner."

You walked off, leaving the white haired goddess behind. She was still stunned by how sweet your voice sounded saying her name. Which made her wonder how it would sound being a moan. Ever since she found out of your crush, she couldn't help but want to tease you. To constantly have her hands on you.

Larissa Weems wanted to destroy you.

And you wanted her to.

You didn't even think twice when you picked up your phone. Texting Liz that you needed her help to get the woman to go insane for you.

Her plan being the outfit she planned for you. It was still in your suitcase on the bottom. Meaning you would have to go out there naked to get it. Only for Liz to tell you to let the towel hang loosely.

You liked the plan. You were somewhat confident that you could pull it off. But that was till you saw the woman sitting in a corner chair with her legs spread. Her position killed you on spot.

No. I'm doing this. You thought loudly. Larissa watched your every move. Taking in how you didn't look at her again. But rather ignored her. Giving it all to searching your bag for an outfit. Pulling out a pile of clothes and setting them aside.

You climbed onto the bed and put your back to her. Legs spread apart slightly, you let the towel fall. Then taking the clip out your hair. It falling down your back and a bit in front.

You reached towards your open bag and grabbed your skin care. Following it simply but your hips kept wiggling. An attempt of seeing how long she could hold off.

It wasn't until you crawled off the bed and slipped on new underwear, that you finally earned a grunt.

"Are you ok over there Larissa?" You almost moaned her name. Saying it with more breath that normal. "That chair getting uncomfortable?"

"You wouldn't believe it." She huffed out. You grabbed the dress, getting ready to slip it on. "No bra?"

"Not that type of dress." You laughed. Pulling it down just pass your ass. Landing mid-thigh. You spun around. Smiling to yourself at how dark her eyes were. "Do you think Alex would like it?"

"And when exactly will he have the pleasure to see it?" She gritted her teeth. She knew you were playing a game now. Seeing how long she could hold out for. But if that was the case, then you better believe she would be winning. Her prize being you. "I do believe he'll only be seeing you at the staff Secret Santa tonight. The one down by the pool side."

You hummed. Making your way closer so she could see how short it really was. Along with how well it clung to you. Showing you off in every single way.

She could sense how confident you suddenly were feeling, yet it didn't prepare her for your next move.

You swung an exposed leg over her, then the other. Straddling her as you sat taller now. Looking down at her for once as your hands cupped her face. Your left thumb running over her lips and dragging the bottom one down.

"Well, someone's gonna be taking it off of me before then." You nipped at her ear lobe.

That was it. How dare you tease her like that?! To even consider letting someone other than her touch you? Had you gone mad?!

Her hands gripped at your thighs, then clawed to your hips. Pulling yours to be against hers. She held you still for a second. Soon to be rubbed against her.

Your eyes widen at the feeling under you. "Rissa..." you hummed again. Her name sounded filthy with how you said it.

"Keep up your game, darling. Just don't forget who you're playing with." She pushed you off her. Standing up with a bulge in her pants. Leaving you to figure out if she had this planned all along.

You let out a heavy breath and finished getting ready.

~T.S~

Just as you were about to leave you saw her. Mouth dropping open at the sight before you.

With a white silk shirt and black flowy pants. It was far from her everyday attire. You were expecting some form of a dress. All your thoughts were gone at the sight of the first few buttons undone. Almost showing you cleavage. Then you realize, she was braless.

She had an untied tie around her. "Darling, do you know how to tie a tie?" She questioned. Taking in the large gulp you took as you nodded. "Wonderful, come help me then?"

Your legs moved without being told, you stood before her. About to reach for the tie, but she stepped back. It stayed that way till you started to grow annoyed.

You glared at the woman. Turning to leave her to tie her own tie. You had a hand on the doorknob. Except the door had an opposing force. You turned around. Eyes meeting the silk shirt.

You figured it was time for your move again. Your hand collecting the tie and bringing her closer to you. "Keep up your game, darling. Just don't forget who you're playing with." You mocked her. Pushing her off you as you opened the door.

She was baffled. Why were you never this confident before? Where did it all of a sudden come from? And most of all, how were you this good at being a tease?!

You on the other hand, were going to your groups room. Knocking on what you knew to be the girl's room. When the door opened they immediately pulled you in and started redoing your hair and makeup. Pleased to see you comply so easily for them.

"So?" Bianca started. Everyone was waiting for your explanation.

"I think I'm in love with Weems." You finally confessed. Listening to the uproar of cheers.

"Is that who you're all dressed up for?" Enid was applying makeup. She chose a soft brown and green look. Claiming it to be 'earthy' and 'so you'.

"A lot happened to get me this dressed up." You scoffed.

They pried at you to tell, but you couldn't. And the bickering went for awhile. Even as it became dinner. Only to stop when you saw who's group was with you.

Enid was the first to say something about it. "We have dinner with Weems' group?! This is so great we'll be able to witness it first hand!"

You shook your head and let them all run off to the tables. You followed with such, but to a table that hosted Larissa. Her sharp eyes making you feel more aware of the stunt you're playing.

Sitting in the booth across of her. She smiled like a sly fox and maybe she was. The way she has you longing for her. Like she's won and just rubbing it in. She had a plan and you could tell. Not that you didn't have one of your own, cause you do. You think you do at least.

Situating well, you realize how isolated your table really was. "Weems." You smiled carelessly. Larissa could swear, that the smile you owned, was enough to murder. Enough to make other people murder just for you. "Fancy seeing you her."

"Likewise. Thought you would be off with Mr. Smith." Her voice held something to it. You struggled to figure out what it was. "You look ravishing tonight."

"And you look divine. I'm so used to seeing you in dresses and skirts." You returned the compliment. "Have any plans after? The Secret Santa isn't till midnight from what I've heard."

"Oh, so many plans. What about you, darling? Any plans?" Her voice was suggestive now. Her plans were you.

"Can I get you two anything to start? Drinks? Appetizers?" The young girl had rosy cheeks. You couldn't tell if it was the intimidating stare of Larissa or your kind smile.

"A bottle of red, please?" You were first to order. Sensing the rise in Larissa's sharp brows. The girl rushed off. "You scared her away, Rissa."

"Me?"

"Mhmm, with that intimidating stare. Could cause trouble just to see it." You teased.

Larissa was so confused. Earlier you could barely be near her, and now you were so bold. "What is going on in that pretty head of yours?" She squinted her eyes at you, trying to read you.

You just beamed innocently as the wine was placed down. Thanking the waitress and sending her off. "A few more minutes hun," you said.

You felt bad for teasing her. But at the minute, all you could do was feel tingly for the woman across from you. You wanted to push every damn button you could on her. Find everything that makes her want to paralyze you. Not literally but, just till it was too much.

"L/n? Are you feeling ok?" Larissa snapped you back to reality. Your eyes had trained to her hands. How they held the wine glass. You wished you were a wine glass.

Coming back to it, you just hummed again. Slowly coming out of your trance and acting like it didn't happen. Continuing dinner with delightful conversation.

By the end, you were just slightly wine drunk. Standing as close as you could to Larissa to save you from the cold. You were covered by the cardigan, but you really just wanted an excuse to be close.

It was that way till you got to the hotel. Going a different way from her. "Darling? Where are you going?" Weems knitted her brows. "The room is this was."

"Liz has my bathing suit. She said it has to be the last minute surprise. I'll see you later though, at the pool party. I heard they wanted to have a volleyball and chicken competition. I was named a judge for the night." You answered. Continuing to walk the opposite way.

Breathing out heavily when out of sight. Rushing into Liz's room.

~T.S~

"Liz! This is so out of me!" You complained. You were on full display. "What even is your plan with this?!"

Liz came out, throwing a shirt at you. It was some plant shirt you never seen. "It's Weems'. Now, put it on so we can go get drunk with everyone. Tomorrow the kids are doing there own thing at the theme parks."

"What do you mean it's Weems'?! Did you take her shirt?!" You gasped. How did she even get it? "I don't know, Liz. Maybe I should just...lay low? This whole confident thing, yes it was fun and got me into a sexual game, but I don't know...I just feel wrong about doing it?"

"If you don't want to, you don't even have to take off the shirt. And the whole confident thing was all you, and that dress. I knew you would feel confident." Liz stepped out, her swimsuit being more covering. "The entire time, you can stay by me and Rob. I know Alex will be there, so you'll have a familiar face and won't third wheel alone. At any time, if you want to leave, just let me know. I won't make you stay and be uncomfortable."

You huffed, knowing you were trapped in going. But you knew you would regret if you didn't.

You trailed behind them on your phone the walk there. Already being later than what you wanted. Deep breaths could be heard from you, catching Lizzie's attention.

"Rob, you go ahead and find Alex." She sent her husband in. Turning to face you. "Hey. I am really proud that you've stepped out and are trying new things. It's a huge step into expanding your socialness while you're sober-ish. And if you want, tonight will be the last that I pressure you into something insane."

From all the years that you were friends, you began to pick up on how Liz can sense your emotions. She knew how you felt from usually one look. Then again, you tended to wear your emotions.

"I'll watch over you, pinky promise flower." She embraced you. Holding on tight to you until you felt ready. "Now lets go get drunk."

"God, is that all you think of?" You laughed, opening the gate to the pool. Your mood instantly lifting at how lively the party had become. You could pick out who've been drinking and getting ready for the volleyball game. "Do I have to be drunk to judge this game?"

"Oh absolutely!" Derek and Ro came up to you. "That's the whole point of giving the kids free range. We get shitfaced, most of us get laid, and then hangover!"

"I mean, I even think Weems is planning on getting drunk." Ro nodded towards her. Everyone soon glancing over. "I actually doubt that. The most I've ever seen her drink was like a few glasses of wine. She's always so responsible. Would hate to have to room with her. Probably have to be asleep by nine."

"Well, I have two weeks in the same room as her." You couldn't bring your eyes back to the group. "I mean, surely it can't be that bad?"

"Oh, Liz. You are a match maker!" Ro jumped with joy at the new found information. "See when you two first started beating around the bush, I thought it was hopeless! I mean, everyone did! But then recently?! It's like the only three that don't know are you, her, and Alex!"

"No, she knows!" Liz cut it. Making Derek laugh loudly at it. "It's literally just Alex who doesn't get it."

"Doesn't get what?" He came up to the four. Rob following close behind.

You knew it was inevitable now. "About the whole thing going on between Weems and Y/n. They really just need to fuck and get it out their systems." Derek spewed without a second thought. "It's insufferable watching."

He looked at you, and you could see the hurt in his eyes. "I would've never guessed...Shots?"

"God, yes please!" You broke away from the group. Ordering one for everyone and then rejoining them. Clinking the small glasses and starting your night strong.

And seven shots and a mix of drinks in between later, you were feeling more than drunk. Words just slightly slurring and your skin was flushed. You sat on the edge, having a simple conversation with one of the math teacher's. Rambling on about a flower they asked about, you missed how they started backing away. Also missing the appearing shadows. Ending up letting out a scream as you fell into the pool.

You quickly scrambled to attack at your friends. The weight of the now soaked shirt halting your actions. You let your eyes find the group laughing and so was everyone else. Lifting your spirit at the antics. Your hazy eyes found the blurb that was Larissa. Giving you a great idea.

She had yet to get in the water.

The attention was finally off you as your friends came closer. "I have a terrible idea." You giggled while stripping of your shirt. Now in the bathing suit. Without a care in the world, you skipped over to the goddess. A cheeky smile never leaving your face. "Can you get the hair tie out for me?" You looked so sweet now. Like someone who's never been drunk or even tipsy experiencing it for the first time.

You turned so she could have easier access. "That shirt you had on...where'd you get it?" She questioned. Hoping that in your drunken state you'd say something so damn cute she'd want to take you for her own.

She handed you the hair tie. "Come meet my friends...well...your staff!" You became all giddy. She was stricken for a second, but she wish she hadn't fallen for your trick.

As she was in a moment of vulnerability, you took it as your chance. Dragging her close to the deep end. And then a splash brought her back. She surfaced to you laughing while everyone stifled theirs. Reaching a hand out, implying she wanted your help, and once you took it, she pulled you in.

It was her turn to laugh as you had to tread water to stay afloat. Pulling you towards the side as you became tired quickly. She was going to say something, but you were already out and gone. Grabbing another drink when they started bringing out the net.

Larissa was confused. You turned away from her, but when Rob started to explain, she wasn't anymore. That's why you were so drunk. Everyone there knew how you acted drunk. Liz had dragged you to more than you had ever wanted.

"Y/n is our ref for the night. And when absolutely wasted, it can get pretty intense. Always keeps us on our toes. Are you playing with us, cause if so, you're on our team." Ro tied up her hair. Getting ready to kick ass.

"No way! If you get Weems, then you're bound to win! I think she shouldn't get to play," Ashton, a science teacher, mentioned.

"And why would we win?" Ro playfully glared. "Scared of loosing to the undefeated?"

"No, no, he makes a point! With how infatuated Y/n is with Weems, points are bound to be given. Same reason we don't let Liz play." Derek agreed.

"Dude! You're on our team!" Ro smacked his chest. "Fine, why don't we ask Y/n if both Liz and Weems should play!"

With your name being said, you spun around, mouth attached to a straw. Eyes in nothing but a cloud of haze. You walked closer and sat in you spot. The whistle of honor being given to you.

"Thank you Dan, but! They make a strong point. I'm very infatuated with Weems, and Liz is literally my best friend. And if you let the best friend and the goddess, then you at least have to pick new teams. Only fair to mix it up!" You shrugged, not even hearing your words.

Liz was so happy she planned this out perfectly. "Well, if it means I finally get to be in the volleyball games, I say lets pick new teams."

Your whistle blew, "Line up please!" You beamed.

"I thought we were picking teams?" Larissa followed with the order anyways. Adoring how cute you looked taking control.

"We are, this is how it happens." Dan informed. Going to blindfold you.

You had your back faced to them now, doing a little sway in your spot. "Mix!" You hiccupped. Listening to the sound of shuffling. Then you were facing them again, somehow pointing at people and placing them. Until there was no one left and teams were evened. You took off the fabric blinding you and were proud.

Nodding in approval you blew your whistle again. "Let the games begin! You cheered, taking you ref spot.

The calls you were making were absurd. People were arguing where it landed, and you let them defend themselves. Best case got the point. Then it came down to the two you'd never want to have to face.

"Dude! You're telling me I have to pick between the best friend and the goddess? Guys...like on game point as well? Ok! Ummmm, Liz, you first." You pointed.

Liz stood tall, hands folded in front of her. "Your honor, the ball fell out of the lines, not to forget that when she blocked it, it fell outside the line, making her the last person to touch it."

You hummed and nodded, then focus to Larissa. "Rissa?"

"There are no lines in the pool water your honor. I was told, the only way that the ball is out of lines, is if it hits the solid grown and rolls away." She reminded you of your own rules that you gave, yet you couldn't remember giving rules. Which was nothing new. It's why nobody defended with the rules.

You bobbed your head and looked between the two, getting ready to raise your hand to signal who won. And with closed eyes you hear your crush's team. A clatter of what's erupting from the other.

"Y/n! You have never given someone who defends with rules the point!" Ro shouted. She was so competitive about the game.

"You were the one that wanted Weems to play! You're just mad it didn't work in your favor!" Derek taunted. Making you laugh at their bickering.

"Is it time for the chicken tournament now?" You tilted your head. Changing the topic before it carried on any longer. "And honestly, if we're gonna get it done, Liz and Rissa can't play. I never want to make that choice again."

"It depends, how straight of a line can you walk?" Ashton came over and helped you up. Guiding you away from the pool's edge. The groups watched as you tried.

They shared a quick silent discussion. One Larissa wasn't in on. "Y/n you think you could do two more shots and not make an entire flower bouquet?" Liz asked you. "You know you're free to- oh yup! There she goes!"

You had downed the two shots, completely stumbling back. "I want it nice and clean! But first! I want that one over here!" You pointed towards Larissa. Her eyes growing at the attention.

"Move it! You heard the ref! You're over there!" Liz nudged the frozen Weems. "Never tell the ref no."

Larissa didn't keep you waiting. Now standing between your legs, you spun her so she could watch and wrapped your arms and legs around her. Trapping her with you until it was over.

Letting the groups battle it out as thumbs rubbed your thighs. You couldn't help but get distracted. Your head fell to rest near her ear. Eyes still staring at the game.

"Did you know, that the dress and the whole thing I was doing, was because, and you might not know this, but I really REALLY like you. And I know Liz set it up so we could be together cause I truly think she's always known. So I really don't know why she acted so surprise the night I told her, then she unintentionally told you. Oh my God! You've known?" You came to realize the already known.

Someone fell and the competition was over. Meaning it was time for you to thrown your ultimate winner for the night.

You had everyone gather around, knowing this would be the ending of the night. "Right! I can't even like see, but! Tonight we had an insane amount of twists! Our night only get one winner though! And...it is...." You didn't finish before Ro cut you off.

"I swear on my life, if you say Weems." She pointed, knowing that's exactly who you were about to say.

You looked offended. "Well! It was gonna be you, but someone wanted to assume!" You turned away from her. "I declare the MVP of the night to...Ashton!" You pulled out a blown up crown and handed it over. "Congratulations!"

Everyone cheered before starting their goodbyes. You were by Ro and Derek while Liz walked up to Larissa.

Signaling for her to follow her to the other side. "Look, I know you're probably a wonderful person, but I swear on my grave. If one text comes to me or she shows up in my room and just is the slightest bit of sad, you'll be the first person I look at. And tonight, she will just sleep on the couch, I know she will, but at least get her in pajamas. Y/n...Y/n is extremely fragile but will never show it. And when I say fragile, Larissa I seriously mean when she try's to get you to fuck her, you have to do everything to tell her no. But be nice about it, ok?"

The sly fox nodded. What had happened that you were considered fragile?

You saw Larissa come back with Liz. Not sure why the two would've snuck off. Where they talking about you?! Now you were curious to find out.

You had Rob holding you up as you both walked to your roommates. You were handed off to Larissa. A towel was wrapped around, keeping you as warm as possible.

Liz came up to you, grabbing your slightly warm cheeks and making you look at her. "When you get to your room, Larissa is gonna help you change. Then you're going to go to sleep. No funny business, ok?"

You got closer to her. "Did you know she knew I liked her?" You furrowed your brows. Getting a nod and a laugh. "And you never told me?!"

"You were there. Now goodnight Y/n." Liz kissed your forehead. "Seriously, no funny business."

"No funny business, got it! Nighty night Liz." You hummed. Feeling your body get scooped up and held against some source of heat. You felt so comfortable.

In that moment, Larissa didn't believe what your friend said. You look so angelic in her arms. That you could do no harm nor wrong. You were just an innocent thing that needed protection.

She walked you both back in silence. The most noise being the sounds of the resort at night. Soft music playing, crickets singing, and leaves rustling.

Only to set you down when she needed to open the door. Letting you waddle your way to the couch. Missing it completely and falling onto the floor with a thud.

Larissa, had lightly laughed but went to get one of her shirts for you. When she came back to find you, she couldn't. "Y/n, darling?" She called out your name. Getting a distant hum from the bathroom. Lost with how you made it past her. She took in how you were curled up around the toilet already. "What are you doing?"

You simply pointed to the bowl. Knowing she got the message when she knelt down you and sat you up. "Oh, you poor thing. Do you always drink that much to ref?" You nodded. "So you're a social drunk, but when sober a nervous wreck?" You nodded again, this time with a frown. "Well, I'm gonna help you change then it's off to bed."

~T.S~

The morning came. You woke to your name being said over and over. You slowly took in your surroundings. You were laying in the bathtub with a indoor plant being spilled all over you.

Shit. You knew exactly what went down. "Rissa?" You called out hoarsely. A faint smile gracing your lips when she came in. Her hair down and free. The silver waves were everything you expected and all you wanted to do was run your hands through it.

"How'd you even get that plants in there?" She took in the amount fo dirt covering you. "Did you put it in there yourself?"

"God, no. It was probably the vines." You whispered. Scared of talking to loud and hurting your own ears.

Larissa couldn't lie. You looked beyond adorable covered in dirt. And with that fuzzy look in your eyes that was just the hangover. "The vines?"

"When I get nervous, or in this case too drunk, I loose most control over the plants in close areas. And the relationship I have with vines is insane. They love to show up on their own will sometimes. I need you to tell me what happened last night once we got back to the room." You sat up. Moving slowly to get out from under the plant.

Larissa just blushed at you. A small smile forming on her lips. You looked confused at her. "What happened?"

"We got back and you completely blacked out on the floor. You did aim for the couch though. Then you managed your way to the bathroom to throw everything you drank up. Then you blacked out again and I carried you to the bed. Your friend made it seem like you were going to be impossible to handle." The blonde answered.

You stood up fully now, brushing the dirt off you before stepping out. "What do you mean? Lizzie?" You wobbled a bit touching the cold tiles.

Larissa let her hands fall to your waist to steady you while you walked to brush your teeth. "She made it seem like you would try and get me to..."

"Oh! God! No! She does that every time! There's a whole story behind that. No, I don't drunkenly throw myself at people. I don't even do that sober." You shook your head. Shoving the tooth brush into your mouth.

There was some form of a domestic feeling. Larissa behind you in the morning. Her tall figure watching over you. Her hands still on you and holding you steady.

You knew she knew what she was doing. She wanted a reaction from you. But you had better plans. You were going to spend the entire day just teasing this woman.

You finished brushing your teeth, then spinning in her arms. Looking up through your lashes. "We should go to the theme park today."

"Is that what you want to do?" Weems furrowed her brows. "You don't want to go do something else?"

"I got dragged onto this trip, might as well go adventure out with it." You hummed. You lifted yourself onto the counter. Now having the goddess between your legs. Still staring up at her innocently. You were wearing your plan on your face.

Larissa had picked up on the look as well. "What is going on in that little head of yours?" She tilted her head. Coming closer to you.

Fuck. You had no winning chance. No dress to give you confidence, no phone to ask Lizzie for help, it was just you. You and your failing plan because she makes you so nervous and she knows she has so much power. You were going to drag this for as long as you could though.

Your final plan was to have Larissa Weems struggling to keep her hands off you. It was a matter of your next move though. You honestly had to summon the mindset of being drunk. Care free. Not even thinking of your next moves.

With Larissa already leaning in close to you, you figured being closer wouldn't be anymore harm. So you let your arms reach to grab the back of her neck. Pulling her head down closer to yours. Feeling ehr breathing hit your face.

"So much..." You whispered. Your eyes jumping all over her face, lingering on her lips the longest. "Are we going to the parks or no?"

Larissa felt dumbfound with how you left her. She also felt completely flustered. She wanted to have you close again. To feel your warmth radiate onto her. All she could do was watch you walk away.

Although, she was enjoying the unexpected from you. After the many years she's worked with you, you've never been anything other than quiet and kept to yourself. So seeing you finally break that shell was such a relief.

"You're not going to clean up the plant or anything?" She joked. Making you pop in to help the plant back to where it belongs.

She was stuck in a trance at how quickly you worked with plants to get them to look perfect.

Speaking of plants...Larissa came to remember about the petals and flower she had wrapped up and put in her bag. Knowing it would be an adventure with you in the parks now.

You, on the other hand, had already thought ahead of her. You had put the pot back in the living room with a cheeky smile.

When you walked back into the bedroom, you watched the woman search her bag. "Are you missing something?" You faked your innocence. You stood by your bag, pulling out all sorts of outfits.

"Did you-," She spun to face you. Her sentence falling short as you began to fiddle with the hem of the shirt. Pulling it up higher and higher.

You furrowed your brows at her. "Did I do what?" You frowned. You had put your outfit out of your bag and moved closer to her. Peeking into her bag to try and see if you saw anything out of place. "Is everything alright?"

"You are such a different person," she stared at you. "Did you happen to see a white tissue anywhere? It held something rather important."

Giving a shrug, you started to leave her again. "Nope, I've been in the bath tub all morning. What was the such important thing?"

Larissa opened her mouth, but soon it just hung open. You had your back to her as you complete ridded of the shirt. Your bare back on full display for her to take in.

She couldn't help but stare at the ink on you. How it all wrapped around you. Meaning that there had to be more on your front.

Your body moved quickly to get to the bathroom. Robbing Larissa of the sight. And if you stayed around longer, you would've heard her groan of frustration.

You were getting to her faster than she wanted to admit.

In all honesty, you were surprised she hadn't caught onto your little game for the day. Then again, the day only just began.

You did what you needed in the bathroom quickly, eager almost to continue to tease her. The thought made you pause for a second though. Where was this Y/n all that time at Nevermore?

You let the question float to the back of your brain as you stepped out in a towel once more. Your eyes scanning and searching the room for your crush.

Freezing when you finally found her. She stood in front of the glass door. The light giving her an angelic halo. You felt stunned to see her in such a way.

Suddenly your plan didn't seem important. You could only think about worshiping her entirely and not thinking of anyone else. In that moment you had a decision to make.

Get the woman and cave.

or,

Keep playing the game.

Then, a third option came to your mind. Get the woman and keep playing the game.

You moved over to her. Not caring if the towel was the only thing covering you. You stood in front of her and stared in awe. Your hand carefully reaching out to touch her torso. You met her pure blue eyes. Before she could ask what the look was for, you descend to your knees.

Eyes never leaving hers, "I want to worship you with everything I have. My goddess from above. The celestial creature you are. How you have trapped me with your living breath. How you stun me with just being near. How you are unbeatable and have no real competition for my ever giving adoration. But, I cannot cave into the wanting that is you. I kneel before you to show you how ready I am to make you cave for me."

You got back up, lingering hands on her. You backed away with a bowed head. Taking the outfit you had left on the bed and putting it on. Trying to let the fact of Larissa only behind you go.

You finished getting dressed and started working on the small bag you were bringing with.

Larissa had watched you. Watched how you fiddled with small things while thinking. Watching how you completely dropped to your knees in front of her and then played like nothing happened. Watching you as her stomach was twisting in all sorts of ways. Watching you like prey.

You were oblivious to this stare. You wanted nothing more than to hide from her after that. After saying you were willing to deny yourself just to have her begging for you.

But now you put her in a new position. Was Larissa Weems willing to throw out everything she's stood for just to have you? Or was she going to drag it so long that you had to come to her?

~T.S~

After the next three days of teasing went on, everyone could sense the tension you radiated. Every dinner you had with other members of the staff. Everyone could feel it.

"Ok. Y/n, I adore you, you obviously know this, but if you don't just fuck that woman. Because we are walking in this theme park and you two are just teasing each other at every given chance. You're even texting when she's literally three steps behind us. And I know you have no experience cause that's not what you focused on in school, but for the love of god, just fuck her tonight." Lizzie finally said. After you had just looked after your phone for the umptieth time.

You frowned at the last part. You have no experience. "How am I even supposed to ask her? Just like, 'hey we've been teasing each other let's just have sex!' I can't. I dug myself deep into it."

Lizzie laughed at how clueless you were. "Do exactly what you told me you did the other day. But keep it going. You've been playing this game far to long and now you're both suffering. I mean, look at her! She has not stopped that look of she's going to fuck you dumb."

"How do you know that?" You frowned, glancing back to the tall woman who was staring back at you. You blushed and looked away.

"Hun, this is what you're going to do. Tomorrow is either a shopping day or lounge day, its a free day. And so in you're suitcase, I packed you this really cute lingerie. It's white with flowers all over it, you'll love it. So when you go back to the hotel tonight, I'll stall her while you run ahead and change into it. Leave your hair down and use that innocent bare face. And to finally get into ready, sit on your knees on the edge of the bed. She'll be on you in no time." Lizzie planned out for you. Her eyes trained to the ride that you were about to get on.

Which is then how you realized how much you hated the idea of roller coasters. Rob came up and took the seat next to his wife, leaving you to sit with Larissa.

"So what were you and Lizzie talking about?" She leaned close. When you looked back, it gave her some idea of the conversation.

You only shrugged though, feeling vulnerable to the point you couldn't make eye contact like normal. The gates to the ride opened for you to get on. Hands beginning to shake at the anticipation. Tears even began to fill your eyes.

"Darling? You're shaking?" Larissa hummed. You and her sat in the back of the cart that way you would be blocked in the picture.

"Y/n hates rollercoasters." Lizzie laughed.

There was no more conversation as the ride launched. You were screaming through the fear. Lizzie and Rob were laughing in front of you. Larissa was next to you holding your leg that was shaking uncontrollably.

What made it the worse, is that it was in the dark with a few flashing lights. The worst type of rollercoaster.

Finally breathing again once it came to an end. You were quick to stumble off the ride, wanting to get off as quick as possible. The action making everyone around you laugh. Only to increase from the married couple when you turned around and had tears streaming down your face.

"It wasn't even that bad Y/n!" Lizzie got out between laughs. "You've been on worse."

Larissa held her arms open and you hid your face in her. Her hand stroking your hair and rubbing your back. Feeling you shake slightly.

"Ok, why don't we call it a day? We've been putting you through ride after ride. I'm sure most of the kids are either at dinner or at the hotel." Lizzie suggested, watching you nod stiffly.

~T.S~

You had done what Liz had suggested. You were sat on the bed in the white lingerie. Your hands were shaking at the thought.

You heard the door open, then it closed. Everything was moving incredibly slower. Even the sound of all the bags Larissa had falling to the couch sounded slow.

It was slow when you saw the room door opened and Larissa walk in.

The way her eyes took you in. How she stood there and was ready to devour you.

"And what to I owe this?" She raised her brow. "Come here darling."

You did as she said, getting up and stopping in front of her. Head hung low and bowed to her. "My goddess, you owe absolutely nothing. But please let me be yours tonight,' You began to have a whiny tone. Hands reaching out to fist her clothing.

"Oh is the pretty thing finally caving?" Larissa teased you. Hand coming to your face to get you to look at her. Bringing her lips down t your ear, "I like when you talk like that, it makes me want to destroy you."

She pulled her head back and crashed her lips to yours. Moaning at the sweet taste of the ice cream you ate earlier. Loving how it tasted off of you.

She tapped your waist, signaling for you to jump as she would catch your legs. Wrapping them around her waist as she carried you to the bed and sitting down with you in her lap. Kissing hungrily down your next. Leaving all hints and obvious clues that you were hers now.

"My god, darling. You taste better than I've ever expected." She hummed on your pulse point, drawing out a airy moan.

"Thank you..." You couldn't finish as she hummed again on your next. This time sucking hard and making you shake with need.

Your hips shifted, in need for some relief. And Larissa couldn't deny you any longer. She held your waist with a bruising grip and helped you get yourself off.

"You look so pretty dear. Making a mess of yourself on my lap when I've hardly touched you. Tell me, were you that desperate for me?" She whispered close to your ear. Making you cry out in want. "Uh-uh, I want you to use your words. Tell me how good I make you feel."

"Please! God, I need you so bad. Please, please, please," you were mumbling pleads over and over. You were so close already. The knot so tight you thought you might die.

But then all pleasure stopped. You let out a cry, only to be shushed. "Oh don't worry. You'll get your release, but it's going to have to be earned."

You didn't process much when she flipped you over on the bed. Hovering over you now almost completely bare. You let your hand lightly run over her skin. Becoming more desperate knowing how soft it was. Your hips bucked up to hers, moaning at the unexpected feeling.

You looked between you two, drooling at the faux cock that hanged from her hips. Never had you had anything up there, only one person and ever even eaten you out.

Larissa had noticed the shift in your eyes. Picking up the clues instantly and knowing now she would be your first. "If it's too much Y/n we can stop."

"No, fuck no," you panted breathlessly. "Please, I'm positive about this."

"If it hurts, just tell me and we can stop, ok?" She had a whole new aura. The care that radiated off of her instead of the lust. You gave a nod before pulling her into a kiss. "As cute and innocent as you look in this, I think it'd be better to get rid of it before I tear it off you. Or would you like it that way instead?"

"Please, wanna be close to you..." you whispered. Moaning as you instantly felt the fabric rip off your body. The cold air of the room running over your body.

"You're even prettier than I thought you'd be. Do you even know what you do to me? The things you make me want to do to you? You make me insane, Y/n." Her words were bringing you so close alone. "And having you like this right now, god. I'm going to fuck you so dumb, baby. I'll be the only one you can think of. The only name you can even get out of those pretty lips. The one you think who just fucked you so good." She just kept going. Her voice being so attractive to you. "I'm gonna fuck you so good I promise, baby."

She lined up with your core. Collecting your slick as she ran the cock up and down your folds. Stopping at your dripping hole. "So fucking wet for me." She mumbled loud enough for you to hear, but mostly for herself. She finally had you under her and ready for absolute destruction.

Slowly she began to fuck her way deeper. Going in and out constantly until she bottomed out entirely. Both your breathings being heavy. Larissa had her eyes closed. Looking down once she opened them to see the bulge in your stomach now. "Look pretty girl. Look how deep I am in you."

She watched your face as you saw what she was gawking at. You wiggled your hips ever so slightly and moaned loudly. You could feel how deep she was in you. How your walls fluttered around the toy continously.

"Please..." You felt the feeling begin to take over your brain. Feeling that fuzzy state wash over you.

Larissa couldn't help the love that took over her face at this sight. And she wanted to see more. Her hips drew all the way back and then snapped forward. The thrust being deep and hard. You practically screamed. Being silenced with a kiss.

"I know princess, but it'll feel so good once we get going. You'll be so dumb for me. I've always wanted you like this. Since the interview. To be so deep and fucking you like a wild animal. And all the things and stunts you had up that sleeve of yours." Her pace began to pick up at the thoughts. "How you teased me without even trying." She went faster. "Those looks." Faster and deeper. She picked up your legs, giving her a new angle. "The way you complimented me while drunk." The feeling was brutal.

"Please! Fuck mommy!" You cried without even thinking. You had finally given in to the dumb.

The name made Larissa slam into you and hit your sweet spot. "And that name. You wanted to be mommy's little fuck toy didn't you?"

"Yes, yes, your fuck toy." You babbled. "Please mommy, 'm so close!"

"Oh darling, hold out a little longer." She hummed before pulling out completely. Leaving you whimpering at the sudden loss. "Shh, shh you're ok."

Your hips still moved in search for the toy again. "Mommy wants to feel you coming on her cock, is that alright angel?"

"Please, want you." You stared with teary eyes. Not knowing what she really meant until you felt a real cock slip into you. The feeling before having nothing on right now. You cried out for her.

Larissa was still over your body. Moaning in your ear as you squeezed around her. "Fuck baby, you're so tight. Squeezing around me like that." It wasn't long before she began to pound into you again. Slamming her hips to yours. She watched as you began to shake.

"Please...mommy I...I can't," You panted out. Gasping when pressure was added to your clit.

"Come all over me darling, go ahead." She granted. Feeling how you grasped at her shoulders and shook. Holding her so close for grounding. She wasn't far behind you, fucking her warmth into you.

Giving you both a second to breath while she slowly rocked her hips. But then slowly became quickly, and before you knew it she was going for another round. Kissing your collar bone as you dug into her back. Pulling her closer to you with your legs and trapping her in you.

You couldn't even get out that you were close. Crying into her as your body tensed and then fell apart. Letting you become mush in her arms.

"You're doing so good for mommy. I'm so close dear. I'm gonna fuck a baby into you one day, I swear. I'm gonna treat you so well." She straightened up. Moving you both to the end of the bed giving her more force. She stood to her word. Fucking you so dumb you could only say her name. Multiple 'mommy's fell from your lips as she filled you up.

You swore at this point you had blacked out. Listening to your name be called over and over. "Darling you did absolutely amazing." You could hear Larissa quietly praise you.

And for a fool's second, you thought you were done. Until you felt her tongue run up you.

You tried to push her away or yourself away, but you couldn't. Your body wanted her. And as her arms held you down, she devoured you. Tasting the mixture of you both oozing out of you. Bringing you to one more high for the night.

The next thing you knew, Larissa was cleaning you up and climbing into the bed with you. Whispering sweet nothings into your hair line with kisses after each one. Her arms pulling you so impossibly close.

You could feel the twitching cock still. She had one more left in her and you were destined to satisfy her. Even tired to the point you thought you would die, you still shifted onto her.

"You still have more in you," you whispered, Trying to lower yourself onto her. "Wanna make mommy feel good."

"Aren't you just the sweetest, but we've done enough. You're practically about to fall asleep." She chuckled softly. Her hands were resting on your hips as you had managed to slip her back in you. A heavy groan leaving her and a whimper from you.

"Use me, please." You shifted your hips once more. Larissa couldn't tell, but you were spelling things out on her. sucking on her boob at the same time.

She started taking control eventually. Snapping up to meet you in the middle. And it wasn't long again. This time she pulled out and just held you so so close to her.

"Thank you so much angel. You were so good for me tonight." She combed through your hair, lulling you to sleep.

~T.S~

the next morning you woke up second. Looking to meet Larissa's gaze and smiling. "Well, good morning." She kissed your forehead. "Thought you would never wake up."

You hummed and just stared into her eyes. Searching for any regret of last night and finding nothing from her. Making your smile grow ten times.

"Y/n?" Larissa whispered.

"I think I love you?" You had managed. Crawling to straddle her lap. "Yeah, I do. I mean, you've always made me have a hard time not loving you."

Larissa was silent while staring. How could you be so certain? And she weas going to ask, but the kiss you gave her told her everything. So much so that she began crying. The feeling well returned.

"Be mine forever, Y/n." She begged so quiet you swear she would start sobbing.

"Of course, Larissa. You are nothing short of an earthal being I want to worship every single day." You confessed. Kissing away her salty tears. "I'll love you with everything I have because you deserve it all and more."

She laughed at that. "You and your worshipping words, Y/n. Wherever did someone like you learn it all? You're so young."

"It's all to impress the goddess you are." You placed one last lingering kiss to her lips. Only to have your morning rudely interrupted by a knock at the door.

Making you both laugh as you had checkout so soon.

[ddoxhan]

my love is all mine

my baby here on earth showed me what my heart was worth so, when it comes to be my turn could you shine it down here for her?

word count : 4.4k words

genre : fantasy; alternating between fluff and angst that would make your heart clench; childhood best friend! aeri x pianist (but actually a time traveler)! reader; arriving at this dimension, you realized how much you still love her

t/w : mentions of death, apocalypse thingz

a/n : full version out weeeeee :D that was some roller coaster of realization and pain knowing that nothing lasts but one thing :') please do leave some feedback so I can improve when it comes to plot heavy fics and enjoy !

tic, tic, tic, tic.

'where am I?'

your surroundings were unfamiliar, as it should be. but with it, came a sense of comfort. whenever you warped through the portal, your head would hurt like the worst hangover for a while. but this time, it unusually hurt less. you were sitting by the piano, a music sheet of chopin, perhaps. you weren't the most well-versed around music.

you stood from the piano stool to slowly observe the things in the room in hopes of gathering more information about this person. undoubtedly, you looked like yourself but this body you possessed wasn't you. you were orphaned, barely survived the apocalypse of your own world, thrown into a dystopian organization served to stop further apocalypses in other worlds.

learning about the countless dimensions you had to travel to, surely, this one couldn't differ more than the rest. the person who lived as you in this world had everything you had ever wanted. loving and supportive parents, friends who were always there for her, a promising future career as an aspiring pianist. but as you gain the memories of this person, the depressing emotions were rather contradicting.

this person felt lonely amidst of everyone, she never felt understood. no one had ever saw through those smiles and laughs. not even this girl who looked like her best friend. then tears started to flow down your cheeks uncontrollably. it couldn't be. she couldn't be.

feeling a little dizzy, you took a seat on the piano stool as you dried your tears and tried to wrap your head around the current situation. of the many dimensions, why this one? you tried so hard to forget everything about her, drown down emotions that were unnecessary for your line of work. it had been forever since the last time you had thought of her. and this time, she wasn't going to just be a memory.

as the metronome lulled you into a daze, you were brought back out of it by the sudden swing open of the bedroom door.

"hey! we literally said to meet up at our usual place! what's taking you so long?"

"huh?"

a girl barged into your room and folded her arms against her chest, seemingly upset that you had stood her up. but you couldn't seem to remember when you had made that promise to her.

it was her. it had been so long, too long since you've seen her with your own eyes. you didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that you had never encountered her in the past dimensions. but seeing her in front of you, it was getting really hard to not break down in tears.

the wave of guilt and sadness washed over you as you took in how beautiful she still looked, or rather this version of her looked exactly like the love of your life. the love of your life who you couldn't hold onto as her hand slipped from yours, forever gone as she disappeared into the smoke of debris.

you still needed time to gain the memories, so you made up an excuse, hoping she would buy it.

"sorry, it must've slipped my mind. you still up for it?"

you stood from your piano stool as you flashed her an apologetic smile. that made her sigh and roll her eyes, once again defeated by your puss-in-boots eyes cause really, there was never once she had been able to not waiver at the sight of them.

"you bet I am, now get your ass outta here and we have to hurry cause we're already late for the performances."

the look of confusion on your face makes the girl pause in her tracks, extremely confused and cautious of you because you didn't seem to be her best friend, in the sense that you didn't feel like her.

"performances. weren't you there when jaemin told us they'd be busking today?"

"right, yes. the boys' first big performance for that influencer's event."

that part of the memory registered just at the right timing. if you took any longer to respond like her best friend, she would have probably took the shovel in the backyard to whack you. the girl wasn't like your lover, way feistier and carefree. it served as a reminder that she wasn't, this girl was not the woman you had loved wholeheartedly and should not be.

"yes. now let's go."

the girl had to drag you out of your house because of how slow you seemed unusually.

"god, I was so close to knocking some sense into you."

"sorry, I've just been really out of it today."

your infamous cheeky smile never fails to have her shake her head in disbelief. in disbelief of how adorable you always looked with it.

"jaemin! we're here!"

aeri screams across the barricade as the said boy turned his head towards her direction, while you trudged behind her, ensuring that she wasn't falling over anything or anyone from excitement.

you learned her name when you two left your room as your dad shouted her name from downstairs. aeri, it was a pretty name and suited her really well. you couldn't help but draw similarities between the woman you knew and her. but they were also two very different people and that was something you shouldn’t forget.

"hey! I thought you two wouldn't make it before our cue. what happened?"

he had known you two for ages and it was unlikely of you to be late to something, especially when it involved close friends.

"this girl here had forgotten about this. unbelievable if you ask me."

"that's quite true. you good?"

aeri and jaemin truly cared for the person you are temporarily posing as. the gazes that you were receiving felt foreign, accountable to your lack of interaction with people. people who actually mattered to you. each and every time you had warped to another dimension, you would disappear to do what you must to prevent apocalypses regardless of what memories flowed through your consciousness.

it doesn’t take long to get everything in place and run the plans to break the sequence of events, given that you were one of the organization’s elite agents with a flawless portfolio. all that didn’t matter to you, life was already meaningless so why care much?

but the moment you had seen that very smile on her face in that photo frame, you wanted to stay in this dimension longer. even if it meant spending more time than you should in a single dimension.

"yeah, don't worry about me. I just had a splitting headache earlier today and I've just been out of it. I'm all good now though."

you regained your composure after some time and adjusted well with your new surroundings. the reaffirming clutch of your hand in aeri's was very comforting surprisingly, but you didn't understand why.

although she had bore similar physical traits with your lover, there was no reason to feel the warmth seeping through the clasp of your hands. and before your consciousness could give you an answer, your blood ran cold as the image of watching her slip through your fingers into nothing, bringing up the very emotions you were trying to suppress for years.

there was not a single day that you could sleep well as the endless nightmare of that event left you in a void of emptiness and desperation. the desperation of wanting to redeem yourself by saving other dimensions where different versions of her would live, regardless of whether different versions of you were there for her.

but absolutely none of that, would bring your lover back into your arms, safe and sound. smiling at you like those mundane days you had, which you would give anything to get them back.

"great. you two find your seats near the fronts, performers' privilege."

he proudly points towards two empty seats which were inevitably yours since the show had already started 20 minutes ago.

"wow, for once, na jaemin has done an amazing job."

"for once, stop roasting me. now shoo, I need to get my hair fixed."

the bickering between the two seemed so natural that you had kept quiet, not knowing if it was your place to interfere the conversation.

this was something you had always feared when you meddle with a dimension, the feeling of belonging. belonging somewhere that wasn't meant for you. would it hurt to feel? no. but it hurts knowing that whatever you did in this dimension, it wasn't you who did it. in the eyes of others, it was someone else. the deeds you do, the memories you share, the love you yearn.

once upon before the apocalypse, life was like this. concerts, outings, bonding, but it was also a time of weakness. your weakness of being powerless to protect the things precious to you, the people once dear to you. but when you've found the power to, you've lost beyond salvation, and there was nothing left to protect.

as you made your way to the seats, aeri couldn't hold back the urge to ask. because the way your eyes didn't carry that special shine her best friend naturally has, concerned her.

she could sense something different seeping from your usual aura. on certain days when you're not in the best condition, there would be times where she can tell that you aren't happy or upset about something and she'd find the right cure to your sour mood.

however, today felt odd. it was seemingly an aura that she hasn't seen from you. you weren't feeling good, but it felt as if you lost the fire in you. the fire you had bore in your soul for your passion. if it had been a bright red fire, it's like it turned into a calming blue one. somewhere in you, you've lost something, never able to ignite a bright red fire ever again.

aeri had convinced herself that perhaps you were tired from piano, burnt out and taking a break from it to regain that passion.

the previous act had just ended, and everyone were to take a five to check if everything was in order. the blaring speakers and annoying mc finally stopped ringing in your ears. instead, a soft voice tickled your right ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"baby, are you really okay? you don't seem to look well."

the girl had leaned in to whisper, and it almost short-circuited your brain with how proximity was out of the window instantly by that small gesture.

"yeah, I'm fine, what makes you say that?"

"you look.. different."

"and you feel different too."

it was as if she had known from the start, that you weren't her best friend she knew. yet, she was trying her best to make sense of her confusion. deep down, you knew that all of this was making no sense. absolutely no sense how you were sitting here with a person in the face of your lover, waiting for your friend's performance in the middle of the summer. all it took was a step out of the house and another step back to report to your superior of your work.

and here you were, reminiscing the memories you had. they were irreplaceable, and will never be. but no one can stop you from making new ones either. just this once, you say. just this once to hold her in my arms one last time.

as your arm grazed against hers, you were looking into her eyes for the first time since the evening started. never have you realized that she had such mesmerizing eyes, pulling you in like gravity.

when you had gazed into her eyes, she spotted a glimpse of admiration, the one that she was ever so familiar with. it put her at peace, reassured that you were alright that night.

your demeanor changed since that night, but she decided to brush it off, convincing herself that she was just overthinking again like she usually does. but maybe, she should have questioned further.

who were you?

you were a fever dream, but also a lifetime nightmare.

minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. the sense of time is only perceived in dimensions that were able to escape apocalypse. back at the headquarters, time was fluid, seemingly long at certain moments and short when you don't even notice. which was why you weren't too worried about residing longer in this dimension beside aeri.

"hey, what do you think about love?"

as she laid her head on your lap as you leaned against her bedframe, the question took you aback a little. this very question was presented to you ages ago by your lover, vaguely remembering the scene in your head. but you remembered your response to it, and it doesn't apply to you anymore. 'love is when I find myself staring at your eyes and get the butterflies each and every time.'

"love is like a thorn in a rose waiting to prick the chosen one."

"it's something so beautiful you can't help but to get close to, and once you admire and realize its worth, it pricks you. leaving you to bleed, it creates a kind of pain that numbs you, yet you reach for it again like none of that happened."

"it makes you yearn for it, and when you've had too many wounds, that's when you notice that you're hopeless."

you never forgot how it felt to love her, it was all too familiar when it felt so natural to fall for aeri, which you almost couldn't resist. the way her eyes curve into crescents as she smiles, the way her scent fill your senses when she leans on your shoulder, the way you feel the butterflies when you stare into her eyes.

it scared you.

this wasn't where you were to belong. yet, the feeling of loving her permeated through your entire being, unable to shake off as you willingly dive deeper into your emotions.

"girl, did someone hurt you?"

aeri laughed away, thinking that you were half-heartedly joking and sarcastically answering the question. her best friend wasn't the type to dwell in the topic of love and dating. she had better priorities in life, which was the piano that sat in her room across from aeri's.

the lack of your laughter made her frown instantly, cursing at herself for perhaps making a mistake.

"what's wrong? did someone really-"

"no no, nothing's wrong. I just thought of that when you asked me. it just felt like love is a rose, it can be beautiful and romantic to some, but also a painful past for others."

"well, you're not wrong. remember that guy from middle school? he was literally the biggest idiot in class and he had the balls to confess to you with a bunch of roses in front of the whole school."

"yeah, that was definitely not it."

you laughed along, but you couldn't. the story was too familiar, this was what happened to you ages ago. not this person you were posing as, but you. the details matched your experience, but only that the person receiving the confession being your lover.

it was too hard to just brush it off as a coincidence. many could be, but this was too specific. timelines matched but with only the people as a difference. the thought of this dimension being a parallel universe of yours brought shivers down your spine. what if it was? what if this dimension's apocalypse was inevitable, just like yours?

many what ifs were not going to stop the apocalypse. you were the only hope to save the world, but screw the world. all that crossed your mind as you caressed her hair was only one thing that mattered to you.

'I will keep you safe, even if it meant that I'd never be able to see you again.'

jaemin and jeno had agreed to go together to a frat party you were technically forced to go by some jock you bumped into in the hallway while you were on your way to meet aeri. the dude kept pestering that you blatantly spat in his face that you were going. he didn't mention that you couldn't have people tag along, so you had asked the boys if it was possible to stick around in case things get out of hand.

the girl though, she had the balls to say that she was worried about you. she was going to stick with you the entire time you were there in case some idiots decided to hit on you, she'd be able to swat them away. the audacity, you thought.

if anything, guys were clearly going to swarm over her instead, and you'd have to act as her bodyguard. given that you're a good three to four inches taller than her, that itself would be possible to scare a majority. nothing could get her off your arm as you walked into the house, reeking of alcohol and sweat already at nine. before you could even show your face to that jock and perhaps head to the quietest area which was probably the pool, you felt eyes on her. maybe this was a bad decision after all.

you didn't want to ruin the mood for the many people who were enjoying this, so all you could do was subside that indecipherable internal anger of yours and find that idiot so you could leave this instant. the dirty looks all over aeri made your insides churn and boil, no matter how much you tried to understand why, you never could.

you didn't love the girl, she was a different person from your lover, just bearing identical physical traits. it was something that you had been telling yourself ever since you arrived here two months ago. that was how long you’ve spent being here, than the usual one-week stay.

trying so hard to deny that you harboured feelings for aeri, your efforts were all in vain when all it takes is just a flash of her smile. even during this moment of her laughing along with jaemin and jeno, it reminds you too much of her. the smile you would see when she feeds the stray cat outside your office, the laughter you would hear when you tickle her during pillow fights.

why was it so hard to walk away and do what you were sent to do here initially? why did fail to resist the sweet temptation of being in love again? when you couldn’t even hold onto that hand of your lover? the hand in yours felt so warm, contradicting the chilly feeling that set into place ever since that day.

she started melting the glacier of ice, while you took a step back to freeze it again. because it’s wrong, so wrong.

"I see hyunjin there."

jeno's voice caught your attention along with the name. following his point of direction, you finally spot that jock chatting away in the kitchen corner with presumably his friends. definitely, you weren't going to let the girl tag along cause enough was enough, another guy and you were going to tear this place down.

"aeri, can you stay with jae for a bit? I'll go say hi then I'll be right back. jeno's gonna be here so don't worry."

although she was very reluctant to let you go alone, you showed her those shining eyes, praying it works again this time. thankfully, she gives you a nod and heads off with jaemin first.

as you made your way towards hyunjin, you were extremely disgusted at how his friends were eyeing you up and down, like you were nothing but just an item. him on the other hand, was a lot better surprisingly.

it reminded you a lot of your high school days. the times when your lover had numerous suitors waiting in line to be her one and only. but she had eyes for you. you were still oblivious of the heart eyes you got from her then. it took you years to realize before you dated. it was the exact definition of ‘she fell first, but you fell harder’. until now, it still pretty much applied.

"hey! you made it!"

"yeah, you were following me around for three days, asking me to come."

he laughed awkwardly, even a little shy. what was this boy's deal?

it was as if the tables have turned, you now dealing with these boys who were fawning over her. perhaps in this dimension, you were quite a popular one.

"I just wanted to get to know you more, so I thought of getting you to come and spend some time together."

as much as he seemed nice, you weren't interested, and unwilling to lead him on to thinking you were.

"sorry, I have a boyfriend. but we could still be friends."

a little lie wouldn’t hurt him, and jeno was conveniently standing on guard with his supposedly scary aura which you found amusing.

you extended your hand politely in hopes he wouldn't have a freak out and frantic screaming that his love interest had an alleged boyfriend.

"I see... well then, great to be your acquaintance. I hope you have enjoy your time here."

you started to notice that his friends weren't eyeing you eerily, but rather that it seemed that they were wary of your intentions with hyunjin. it was as if you were about to play with this boy's heart, and that's when you remembered that rumor of a varsity player being dumped by that good-for-nothing cheerleader.

in fact, you witnessed that cheerleader sucking off some other guy’s face in the stairways. you’ve never made such a fast u-turn in your life, which you probably should have when you were making that decision to join the organization. but have you not joined, you wouldn’t have had the chance to meet aeri. and maybe you would have been long dead.

who knows? you might have met your lover in the afterlife when the creatures found you, had it not for the organization.

if fate decided to play a game, you had no choice but to shoot your shot at it.

"thanks for the invite."

"jaemin, please tell me I'm not crazy. I swear that's not her."

"if that's not her, then who is she? come on, aeri. be real."

"I am being real. she keeps avoiding the hugs I give her, and when I get a little closer, she literally freezes up."

the girl ran her hands through her hair in frustration, not knowing what is the truth and what isn't anymore.

for the past two months, she sensed something different about you. were you drastically different? no. something was, and she just knew. but what? these were the questions that had occupied her head for the past week.

she noticed you avoiding her eyes, taking brief glances only, as if you were afraid. afraid of getting your feelings hurt. but why should you? you've been best friends with aeri for as long as you could remember. if anything, you two were inseparable according to reliable sources like jaemin and jeno.

the only thing was, the memories you gained from the owner of this body. it was torturing you more than you thought it should. the smile on her face through these eyes, the sweet laughter through these ears, the gentle touches through these fingertips. endless nights of witnessing aeri fall asleep before you did. just like those times you did when she was your lover.

"that's it? sis, I thought she'd turn into a werewolf or had poisonous potions in a secret room or something."

"and you're the one who's telling me to be real."

"and you're an idiot. sounds like she just likes you to me."

a thousand questions popped in her head. then those questions were given their respective answers as she put together the puzzle one by one. maybe, you liked her. maybe, you loved her.

but why? nothing had changed between you and her so why now? she admits that she had felt attracted to you at times, but she couldn't be sure that she had feelings for you. however she was uncertain, you hadn't been the most expressive these days and she wasn't a mind reader.

when she saw you emerging from the crowd with jeno, she knew that she needed answers before the night ended.

unfortunately no, aeri didn't get any answers because she didn't have a chance to ask. her frustration fueled the endless beer refills which ended her drunk on your back as you prepared her for bed.

and you were lucky that she hadn't gotten the chance to do so. for the past two months, every day you woke up to was a curse in disguise of a blessing. the realization that hit you every time that like a reminder at the back of your head, that aeri wasn't your lover. and every single thing you've done with her won't remain as time spent with you, but her best friend who's the best pianist to her.

all she remembers when she woke up the next day was nothing, with a hangover that was giving her the worse headache. and you remember everything too vividly.

that night, as you tucked her hair behind her ear, all you could do was hold back sobs as a tear managed to escape, trickling down your cheek.

you couldn't sit by and enjoy this newfound life any longer. the day this world ends was getting closer and you had a mission to prevent the apocalypse. you weren't waivered by the possibility of a punishment that would cost your life. you were terrified of witnessing another time of losing someone you loved, someone you love.

you love aeri, yes. but was it the remnants of the love you had for your lover? although that may have been the case, you couldn't deny that her and aeri shared countless similarities. it was wrong to keep drawing resemblances between the two. nevertheless, one thing was for sure.

this version of you in this dimension, had loved aeri for a long time.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

"I love you so much."

"please forgive me."

"nothing in this world belongs to me. but this love, my love is all mine, forever for you."

[inciting-chaos-series]

j can you please make a corpse x reader where they are both publicly dating and as all internet couples do, get a fair amount of hate. but one day a specific comment gets under the readers skin so they distance themselves from corpse (lots of angst but with a good ending ?)

I'm sorry this took forever, I couldn't get my meds and went a lil crazy agh, also idk if this is any good tbh I feel bad at writing lately. Hopefully you like it though oof.

-J The Ghost

死 Requests Masterpost 死 Request Topics 死 Submit A Request 死

➢ Author: J The Ghost ➢ Pairings:  Corpse X reader | Corpse X y/n ➢ WC: ~4k ➢ Themes:  Hurt/Comfort? | Angst | Fluff | Happy Endings ➢ Warnings: Depression | Anxiety | Death Threats | Spiraling | Intrusive Thoughts | Cyberbullying? ➢ Summary: You and Corpse are publicly dating, you knew you'd get some hate, but you didn't actually think it would get to you like this...

Request: Hate Mail

You woke up from your nap to the sounds of several voices coming from the other room. He must be streaming… You thought groggily as you stretched and snuggled back into the covers enveloped in the scent of his cologne.  You pulled out your phone and checked the time, almost four… Jesus, he really had made good on his word, you didn’t even realize you could be that exhausted. As you scrolled through your socials you saw the notifications of most of his friends live streams. Sussy Sundays, of course, how did you forget? He really had taken it out of you earlier. 

You were grateful to have weekends off, allowing you to see him more than just any days you managed to get off work at a decent time, but you hated Sundays. You both took turns staying over at each other's houses and coming up with fun things to do together, but since he’d agreed to be a part of the Sussy Sundays, you had to find a way to entertain yourself. When he would stay at your house, it was easy to find things to do- dishes, laundry, and tidying up always needed done- but at his place, he mostly ordered takeout, and didn't really have enough stuff to ever accumulate messes, much less any laundry, so you were left to figure something else out. 

A few times he’d asked you to join in on games, or hangout and watch him, but if the viewers got wind that you were with him- everyone's chat would latch on and start blowing up about it. You hated the fact that you’d turn viewers' attention away from the streamers they were watching, which led to you feeling guilty for making even the slightest sounds despite both him and his ever supportive friends trying to actively involve you. 

Ever since the two of you had gone public, the internet had gone wild. In the beginning fans were pretty supportive and kind, but once Corpse started to post about you more and more, they quickly turned on you. It felt like the majority now was vehemently against the idea of your relationship. You knew that once it was public, you would get a lot of hate, but some of the comments were so hyper specific and vile- you couldn't help but be hurt. You always did your best to not read through them, or let him see when ones you did see affect you. You knew it was mostly young fans that were crushing on him and envious of you, but it all still seemed to leave you feeling drained, and anxious, an empty feeling of doom settling in with each critique. What if he saw merit in some of them? Sure most were shallow insults, but some seemed so spot on to you. 

Who even are they? They're nobody, why is he with them??

He probably felt bad- he’s just too nice…

He can do soo much better…

You weren't usually an insecure person, but it was hard to stay positive when you did kind of agree. You worked a normal job, lived an average life, and you weren't really into the world of streaming, even as a viewer. It was- at the least- confusing to understand why he would be with you over someone with a similar lifestyle, or had more in common with him. 

Tik Tok was your savior while he finished up with his friends. The algorithm only showed you the mind-numbing content you wanted to see, nothing about him or streaming at all. It was around 7:30 and you were halfway through a dinner recipe video when he finally entered his room again. 

“Have a good nap?” He smirked tiredly as he plopped down on the bed beside you. 

“So good…” You chuckled, saving the video before tossing your phone aside to snuggle up to him “How was the stream?” 

“It was fun. Everyone said to tell you hi…” He wrapped his arm around you and absently traced his fingers along your arm.

“Tell them I say hi too.” You smiled as you buried your face into his hoodie. “Your friends are so nice…” 

“Mhm… they really like you.” He chuckled. “Are you hungry yet? I'm starving…” You nodded and paused, still groggy from lying in bed. 

“Can we get pasta? I’m craving it so bad…” Your voice perked up at the thought of the recipe video.

“Of course,” he laughed at your enthused voice, “you better start getting ready though…”

“Were going out?” You looked up at him in confusion, it was rare he ever wanted to go out, especially so spontaneously. 

“Yeah why not? I mean… as long as you’re up for it?” 

“Y-Yeah, just surprised that you are…” You beamed up at him before mustering the energy to get up and get ready. You pulled your hair aside and headed to the bathroom to wash your face, peeking slightly in the mirror's reflection and catching glimpses of him changing from the bedroom. The cheeky blush across your face turned quickly to a hot embarrassment as you watched the black button-down settle across his lean shoulders. Your mind started flashing through images of all the comments deeming you unworthy of him. You turned your face away from the mirror and avoided eye-contact with yourself- knowing it would only cement those thoughts and sour your mood even more. 

You quickly brushed your teeth and headed back to the room, only to stare at the clothes you had brought in disappointment. Too loose you’ll look like a soggy cardboard box, too tight you’ll look like a shrink wrapped ham, too-

“You okay?” He chuckled from behind you as he fixed his shirt.

“Yeah… I’m fine.” You huffed out, grabbing at a random article of clothing and feeling yourself physically recoil at the thought of wearing it. 

“You don’t look fine- if you don’t wanna go out we can stay in…” He shrugged and examined your clothes with you. “You still have some other things in my closet you know… you don’t have to keep living out of your carry on bag. You can keep things here.” He laughed softly. 

“I- I know. I just… I don’t know- it's one of those days- you know?” You mustered up a small laugh. “Nothing feels right.” You shrugged it off. 

“I get it… let's just stay in.” He sat beside your clothes on the bed, offering a soft smile as he took your hands and pulled you closer .

“No, I want to go out…” You furrowed your brow a bit, irritated that you were letting it all affect you so much. “I’ll hurry up.” You pulled another few items of clothing out and headed back to the bathroom, not wanting to even think about him watching you change right now. 

You came back out after continuing to struggle through every aspect of getting ready while your mind attacked you. He sat up from scrolling his socials on the bed and quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket- a detail you wish your brain would find insignificant.

 “Ready?” He smiled and stood as you nodded. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on as you grabbed your things and started to head out with him. 

You were grateful for the comfortable silence as he drove to the restaurant, allowing you some time to try and change your mood. He’d put some softer lofi on the radio and let you silently watch as the streetlights flashed past your window. You weren't sure how he always seemed to know exactly what you needed, yet he always did. 

When you arrived at the restaurant you were surprised to hear he’d made reservations for the two of you. You couldn’t help but smile, despite the discomfort welling up that he’d chosen something more fancy than you had expected- or dressed for. 

“Wait, wait…” He hooked arm around your side, stopping you as you followed the host to the booth. He spun you into him in front of the elegant floor length mirror stood beside the entrance and pulled out his phone for a picture. You giggled at the quick cute gesture and posed with him, shutting your eyes as he snapped the pic to avoid any further mental spiraling. 

Dinner went by uneventfully, you stayed a bit more quiet as he excitedly told you about new songs he was working on, or vented about the issues holding up his new merch drop. It wasn’t entirely due to your bad mood, you loved seeing him enthuse about his passions and how animated he’d suddenly become. His whiskey toned eyes would light up and his excitement was palpable in the air, making even you more energized. It wasn’t until halfway through or so when you came back from the bathroom that things shifted. You caught sight of him looking up at you returning before tucking his phone quickly away again. 

“What’s that about?” You questioned lightheartedly with a laugh.

“Oh it’s nothing… Did you wanna get dessert?” He dismissed before swiftly changing the subject, but not before you caught a strange look on his face. 

“Okay Mr. Secretive… um, I think I’m full though.” You shrugged awkwardly as you looked down at your plate.

“You sure weren't saying that about the wine though…” He chuckled as he sipped his own glass.

“I- okay?” You rebutted, hesitating as you gave him a confused glance. “I was just trying to cure my bad mood…” You internally cringed as your voice came out more defeated and offended than you intended, seemingly proving his point that you’d had too much. It was only two glasses… am I really that bad? All that stupid pasta I kept shoving in my fat mouth absorbed it all- I don’t even feel drunk…

“Wh- no… baby I- I was just making a joke… I didn’t mean anything by it-” His face softened with concern. 

“No it’s fine… I probably have had too much- sorry.” You managed to squeak out, your face reddening with embarrassment. “Let’s just get the check…” I just want to go home now… Jesus Christ. You bit down on the inside of your lip as you heard the harsh, irritated sigh he let out. 

---

The drive back from the restaurant was insufferable, just as it had been for him to the restaurant. He wasn’t sure if even his knives could’ve cut the tension radiating from the passenger side. It was clear something happened but he didn’t know what. Before he’d gone to his office to join the stream everything was fine, but once he came back the mood had completely changed. 

“Are you- okay? Did I do something to upset you?” He asked as tentatively as he could upon getting back home. 

“N-No, I’m fine. I’m sorry I had too much to drink.” Your voice was still soft but had a bit of an edge to it. 

“I’m sorry I said that at the restaurant, I didn’t mean it like that at all. I meant it in like a- ‘it’s funny that you chose the wine over dessert…’ because I agreed- kind of way… I’m sorry baby.” He paused, taking your hands and tugging you gently closer as he kissed your forehead. “Y/n, If I did something to upset you, I wanna know, so I can fix it and make you feel better. You’ve seemed upset since I got off stream.”

“It… it’s fine, I’m just stupidly sensitive. I’m fine.” You ruined the entire night with him, great job. If he really wasn’t hiding anything on his phone earlier, he’ll surely start now. You huffed in frustration at yourself. “I should probably get home…” 

“W- Why? You always leave Monday mornings…” He asked, feeling his energy plummet as you continued to shut down. 

“I just have an early day tomorrow is all. I’m sorry…” You met his gaze, immediately wishing you hadn't as you offered a half smile to his heartbreakingly defeated expression. You pushed back the self-criticism as you went to collect your things, that could wait until you were alone in your car. He silently followed you back into his room like a kicked puppy and helped you gather your things, making your brain slew more insecurities about him wanting you gone. Once all your stuff was in your bag he walked you out to your car while you said your goodbyes. 

“Please drive safe…”

He’ll just feel guilty if something happens…

“...text me when you get home…”

He feels like he has to say that… you’re so fucking sensitive. He walks on eggshells with you.

“I love you…” 

No he doesn’t, why the fuck would he? 

The drive back home continued that way as you dissociated the entire time, only letting the tears fall once you were back inside your own house. After having a small breakdown over the bullying your brain had done, you texted him you were home before collapsing down into your bed- exhausted by it all. You were ready for any solace you could get from mindlessly scrolling your phone, though it seemed the universe had something else in mind. You opened your instagram to check messages from your friends but were promptly bombarded by a photo he’d posted of the two of you from the restaurant. He’d put some goofy angel and devil emojis over your faces that you tried to let yourself laugh at but couldn't muster at the moment. He’d captioned it ‘LOMFL 😍🥵’ that got a small smile out of you, but not without a scoff. It wasn’t really until you tapped on the comments, you felt your gut tighten. The first few were various heart emojis from Rae, Tina, and Sean- but below that it took a turn. His fans attacked everything about you, your outfit, your weight, even your personality- as if they even knew you. But it didn’t stop there, some crazed fans had gone as far as finding you somehow- despite him never tagging you- and DMing your personal account even more vile things, even death threats. You wanted to vomit. You wanted to scream and show them how awful you could really be, but mostly you wanted to make yourself stop believing them. You didn’t want any of it to be true… but you were now convinced it was. 

The next day you kept your phone completely off, even going as far as deleting all your socials before shutting it off. In the morning meeting with your boss you informed her your phone wasn’t working and email was how you should be contacted from now on, so you wouldn't even need it on for later. You went about your daily tasks at work completely numb, doing everything you could to keep yourself too busy to think. Of course, that only worked at work, at home it was entirely different. The next few days turned to weeks as you cleaned like you never had before, you rearranged furniture like you were suddenly trying to fit four Alaskan king sized beds in your home, you went to the store and meal prepped- full well knowing you’d have no appetite, you binged several of your favorite shows entirely. 

By the third week, you’d fully run out of tasks to keep the thoughts and anxiety at bay. You scrolled through Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon- finding nothing. Out of either habit or some subconscious cue about the anxiety of not texting the only person you wanted to at the moment, you opened up Youtube. You rolled your eyes and groaned softly but scrolled through the videos anyway, cringing as the recommendations of Sussy Sundays and various other videos with your boyfriend popped up. You felt incredibly guilty about not talking to him. It wasn’t like the two of you talked non-stop, or that he’d be mad, you were just sure with the way you’d left things he was likely worrying about you by now. As you continued to scroll you saw a live video pop up in your suggestions, of him. He’s live? Why is he live? He doesn’t stream anymore… You were already anxious, but after reading the title ‘we need to talk…’ you started to feel sick. You hesitantly clicked the video and his voice rang out from your TV. 

“...I really don’t give a fuck how you guys feel or what you fuckin think…” He paused, presumably reading the chat. “I know it’s not all of you… but those of you that are commenting this shit… I don’t wanna fuckin see it- I don’t everr wanna see this shit again… if you like my content but come into my chat, or friends chats, or on twitter.com or instagram and say that shit… fucking unsubscribe right now, fuck you. Get off the fucking internet, it's disgusting.” You took in a deep breath as anxiety welled up more, why was he doing this? “I’ll straight up never put out another thing ever again if this keeps happening. I know that people are always gonna be assholes, but if you’re a fan of me or whatever- and saying this fucking shit about my partner? Go fuck yourself. I don’t want your fucking support…”  

You stared at his animated figure standing in the rain blankly and opened up your laptop, starting a video call to him. You waited for a while as he went silent on stream before it was denied. Is he mad at me? It’s all my fault- fuck.

“Anyways- I just thought I’d get on here and reprimand you fucks… and to all my actual fans, being kind and supportive, thank you, and keep reporting these people- love you guys… oodles and oodles… keep being you- I’m sorry you guys had to hear this… love you.” 

 You tried again as the stream ended. Again denied. Fuck he’s pissed… Because of me he had to get on after not streaming anymore and do that- fuck… You took a deep breath and tried to not overthink. Maybe he’s just sick of your bullshit. If he was worried or he’d been trying to contact you at all, he probably would’ve answered. You fidgeted nervously at the thought. I’ll just start a new show- keep my mind off this… You shut your laptop and dejectedly threw it aside on the couch before getting up and grabbing some blankets for another night of Netflix. 

You were two episodes in when you decided to grab a snack but just as you paused the show and stood, there was a knock on the door. You looked over, and cautiously moved toward it. Peeking out the peephole you saw what looked like an outraged figure of your boyfriend standing outside. You felt icy panic run through you as you grabbed the handle and twisted, preparing yourself for the worst.

“You’re okay…” He sighed in relief as his whole body relaxed. 

“I- Y- yeah… I- I’m fine.. What are you-” You tried to play catch up, still in shock to see him at your door, let alone not yelling at you. 

“You haven’t answered your phone- for anyone- in like a month…” He seemed to pant out. “I tried to give you space and not worry too much when you weren't answering, but then you deleted your socials, and then didn’t answer Tina, or Rae… or me… I was… scared.” He paused and caught his breath. “When you video called me I panicked, I thought you were in trouble or- I- I don’t even know… I just rushed over.” He stepped in and yanked you into one of his enveloping bear hugs. You stood motionless, mostly from how tight his arms were around you, but partially from even more surprise. Here he was, yet again, proving that he knew you better than anyone- and certainly better than you knew him. The guilt of not talking to him only grew now. How could you have ever thought any awful things about the panic stricken, devoted, heart-of-fucking-gold man that was seemingly holding onto you for dear life? 

“I- I’m sorry…” You squeaked out, faltering under his obvious concern. He sighed again and released his hold but kept his hands gently on your arms. 

“Please don’t do that again… If you need space that's okay, but please just tell me… I- I didn’t know what to think- or do…” He knelt down to your level slightly, his face full of worry as he seemed to practically beg. 

“I’m sorry…” You swallowed hard, feeling your face heat as your voice wavered. 

“I-It’s okay… I- I’m not mad… I just wanted to know you’re safe- cause I worked myself into a panic not knowing- I’m sorry I just showed up out of the blue…” He took a deep breath. “If you still need space that's okay I just- I was really worried. I know I’m probably overreacting…” 

“No… I just… I don’t know-” You looked down at your feet, the guilt consuming you now as he continued to prove every horrible thought you had about him wrong. 

“Do you want to talk?” He questioned hesitantly as his mind began reeling in the same way yours had. You just nodded, looking up as he closed the door and looked back to you, eyes still full of worry. 

You moved back to the couch and curled up into the blanket, comforting yourself and trying to hold back tears of guilt over how you’d acted toward him. He slowly moved to sit by you. 

“What’s going on? A-are you upset with me?” He stuttered nervously, also anticipating the worst. You shook your head and shut your eyes as they welled up. It all felt so stupid now- but the constant harassment, death threats, and insults had done a number- and having him here, almost completely in the dark about it all but still so kind and loving was just too much all at once. 

“Oh- baby… shh come here.” He soothed melodically as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly again. “Please talk to me.” His voice was soft and quiet as he pressed kisses onto the top of your head. 

“I don’t wanna cry- it’s stupid…” You managed to mumble. 

“It’s not stupid- something is really bothering you… is it the comments and shit?” You nodded. 

“It’s all of it- I- I don’t know why you’re even with me…” Your voice cracked and broke. 

“Y/n, I’m with you because I’m in love with you- I wouldn’t ever let the opinions of fucking dumbass ten-year-olds with no internet supervision change or dictate that…” You cringed as you heard the offended tone in his voice. 

“I know… I just… I let my brain believe it all… and I feel shitty… and that just makes me wonder even more why- because I do shit like this- even though you’re nothing but amazing and loving to me…” You choked out between sobs. 

“You’re not shitty…” His tone softened even more as he pulled your face up. “I have no idea what it’s like to go through that, and how you can even deal with it. Most people don’t. I knew it was hard to see, and if I had any idea that you’d been this upset about it for this long I would’ve stopped it right then and there…” He kissed your forehead and wiped off your tears. “I’m so sorry baby… I should’ve known.” You shook your head. 

“I should’ve just told you… but I felt so stupid- letting it get to me- I wanted to just come home and clear my head and get over it… but then it got worse and I just I don’t know, I couldn't deal.” He pushed your hair from your face and let you continue after the sobs began to slow. “Now I just feel guilty and shitty for avoiding you- avoiding all of it, not telling you… especially when you are… like this- so nice, and understanding.” You scoffed harshly at yourself, making him chuckle.

“Don’t. It’s a pretty understandable way to react… I’m sorry honey…” He leaned in and kissed you softly. “Would it help if I pretend to be mad at you?” He joked lightly as you parted. You let out a weak but honest giggle and gave an exaggeratory nod. He laughed and tsked loudly. “I can’t believe it… how could someone so goddamn attractive, funny, kind, and lovable think that I’d be dumb enough to see any warrant to the words of fuckin dipshit kids? To think that I’m not already blindly and completely head over heels? I’m disappointed…” He mocked in a goofy tone.

“Shut up…” You laughed, wiping your face and pushing him playfully. 

“I love you dummy.” He chuckled and kissed you again. 

“I love you too, Corpsie.” 

[dedeinthewild]

Hey bestie, how are you

Could you pretttty please do an arvid story where he calls his girlfriend and she picks up and is literally at his house having dinner with his family. Lile they love her more than they love him and he gets all pouty and jealous cos they got to spend time with her and she doesnt

hii! I'm ok, thanks for asking, hbu?

I'm having so much fun seeing the messages from all of you and the reactions to the drivers x reader imagines, so a huge thank you is mandatory :)

arvid lindblad x reader, established relationship

~ "are you home?"

2024 had been an emotional rollercoaster for the Brit, who had found himself thrust into the sister formulas of the queen and had triumphed so many times that he had established himself as one of the strongest drivers.

And Campos had noticed. They offered him a contract for the following season alongside the Spaniard Pepe Martí.

Success, however, came with a slew of commitments, which had him traveling much more than he expected, spending less time in one place than he’d have liked.

He’d created so many beautiful memories, had a lot of fun with his teammates and the other drivers, and met incredible fans during race weekends. Yet, deep down, he was always on a plane—often delayed—with a meal deal dinner in hand and a hoodie keeping him warm.

And in moments like that, he felt the absence of his girlfriend more than ever.

Because maybe if she were there, she’d be so anxious about the takeoff that he’d be laughing, teasing her, and maybe even trying to calm her down through tears of amusement.

But instead, he was alone. Next to him sat a businessman with a briefcase who could easily have been a lawyer—or, for all he knew, something more sinister.

“Love💫”—that’s how he had saved her name in his contacts, adding a splash of color to an otherwise monotonous list of names and surnames.

He thought for a second before pressing her name, gazing outside where the wing of the plane merged with the dark Spanish night. In the distance, he could just make out the control tower’s lights.

Maybe he felt a bit foolish admitting he needed to hear her voice, but what was the point in keeping up the façade everyone else loved when she knew him like the back of her hand?

“Hey,” she answered, her voice carrying a smile he could easily imagine.

“Hey.”

“I thought you’d be flying by now.”

“Delayed. They took forever checking boarding passes,” the driver sighed.

“A good forever, it seems,” she teased.

In the background, Arvid heard a familiar sound: the steady chime of bells he knew well but couldn’t quite place.

“How are you doing?” he asked her.

“Happy. I took a break from studying. I was going crazy with exams.”

“It was about time,” he said, fiddling with his passport and settling deeper into the airplane seat.

“And what about you? Did you try those churros I told you about?”

“Yeah, I went with Pepe. They were fantastic.”

He pictured her sitting at a desk, laptop open, writing something she’d likely keep to herself, while her playlist played some classic in the background.

“I wanted to try them with you, though.”

She smiled softly, her heart tightening at the change in his tone. He wasn’t his usual sarcastic self; he sounded a little lonely.

“When you come home, I could try making them.”

“And burn down the kitchen? Not a chance,” he chuckled.

Someone laughed in the background, making him strain his ears to figure out where she was. Her surroundings didn’t sound like the quiet living room of her house in Italy.

“Are you home?” he asked.

“Actually, I wanted to tell you, but I guess I forgot,” she said, switching to speakerphone.

“Say hi!” she said, looking at Arvid’s family, seated around the dining table at his parents’ house just outside London.

Everyone erupted into warm greetings for the driver. When he heard the unmistakable voices of his dad and brother, Arvid let himself relax, closing his eyes to soak in the atmosphere.

“Hi, everyone,” he smiled, imagining how they’d probably invited her over for his mom’s famous lentils and some conversation.

“I’m really sorry. I must have forgotten to tell you.”

“Don’t be, ____. Don’t apologize,” he said, a little emotional, as his mom moved closer to his girlfriend. He could almost picture her resting her hands on her shoulders, trying to figure out if it was a video call or not.

“Hey, my darling, how are you?” his mom asked in her ever-so-sweet voice.

“I’m alive and well, Mom,” he laughed, running a hand through his curls before adjusting his headphones.

“Can I turn this into a video call, or will I bother you?”

“I’m literally having dinner with your family, Arvid,” his girlfriend grinned, switching to video and rotating her phone to landscape mode so he could see her face.

Instead, he saw a piece of home.

There she was, wearing a V-neck long-sleeve shirt, his mom standing just behind her, and the rest of his family at the table with a pot of fondue in the middle.

“You’re treating yourselves, huh?” he joked, waving at his brother, who was devouring a piece of bread.

“We can’t help it when she’s with us,” his dad quipped, making Arvid smile.

“I totally get it,” Arvid said, knowing full well the effect his girlfriend had on anyone she met—and how his family probably loved her even more than they loved him.

“When will you be home?” his mom asked, peering into the camera.

“Two weeks. Just a quick stop at Prema’s.”

They all nodded, chatting a little longer until the flight attendants announced the plane was about to take off.

His family returned to the table, diving back into the fondue with the joy seeing Arvid always brought, while ____ stepped outside into the garden, sitting in the cold with only her shirt to keep her warm.

“You’re going to catch a cold,” he said.

“It’s fine,” she shrugged.

“Are you mad that I’m here?” she asked, the Surrey evening breeze ruffling her hair as she hugged her knees to her chest.

“I could never be mad. At least you’re spending time with them, and they with you.”

She caught the tone in Arvid’s voice and rested her chin on her hand, gazing at him.

“And you’re jealous of that.”

“Not in a bad way.”

“I know, Ar,” she said, wishing she could hug him in that moment.

The bells chimed again, the unmistakable melody making them both smile.

“I could always catch a train when you’re in Grisignano,” she suggested, watching as he tried to avoid being caught by the flight attendants, who were doing their final checks.

“You have school, and you’re already tired.”

“And?” she smiled. “I miss you.”

“You’ve got my mom. She loves you more than she loves me.”

“Can you blame her?” she teased, just as his brother called her back inside to help with dessert.

Arvid blew her a kiss, showing her the view from the plane window.

“You’re being pouty,” she teased.

“Which seat were you sitting in?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

She didn’t answer, trying to stifle a laugh, knowing exactly whose seat she had taken at the table.

“My seat? Are you serious?”

“I love you,” she laughed, as a flight attendant told him to switch his phone to airplane mode.

“When I catch you…”

And so the plane took off from a Spain that had brought Arvid so much joy, heading toward an Italy he loved.

Meanwhile, she spent time with his family, falling for the place he’d always called home. They just needed to hold on a little longer. Then they’d go back to being the paddock’s weirdest but sweetest couple—though she might not survive the fight for his seat at the table.

~ not proofread or anything, I really hope you like it!

[nanaoise08squad]

Just let my brain wander a bit instead of actually working today. I haven't finished the game yet, I'm still very early into act 3 so please no spoilers! Not proofread, just incurable Astarion brain rot:

Do you think that Astarion sits at the large window of the cottage he shares with Tav, the shade casting shadow over the edge of the house just enough for no sunlight to reach him, while he watches them tend the garden each afternoon? A small, adoring smile resting softly on his face as he watches them water the herb garden, the sunlight bathing their features in an ethereal glow he used to be able to see much closer. His gaze is transfixed on every small movement they make, commiting the way the light catches the highlights of their hair and the glow of their skin in its radiance to memory. He remembers how the summer sun brought out the freckles across your nose, how he wishes he would have taken the time to count them all while lying under the midday sun with you. It seems like a lifetime ago that he felt the suns embrace, it's warmpth forbidden to him once again after everything that had transpired. At times, he almost wished that the tadpole hadn't gifted him the ability to walk in the sunlight. To know such freedom and beauty, only to have it taken away again, part of him would always wonder if he'd made the right choice. His smile fades for just a moment as his cold hand brushes against his arm, the lack of warmth all the more present as he reminces about what it felt like to be in the sun.

His gaze had wandered miles away, lost in thought when your laughter brings him back. A giggle ripples through the air as you gently chastize your feline companions and tell them to return inside, shaking your head as you wipe the sweat from your brow. You look back to him, your smile so bright and warm he swears that it rivals the very sun he yearns for so desperately. He would give up a million sunrises just to see you gaze at him so tenderly, one million more days in the sun to hear you call him "love" each night. It was the right decision.... trusting you with his fragile heart was the right decision. You had wandered into his life so unexpectedly, nestled your way into his long cold heart so perfectly...despite his best efforts. This life, cloaked forever in shadows it may be, was worth every struggle it took to be here. Through pain, loss, fear and the demons that haunted him, you never turned your back on him. Love was a mere concept until you came along and wrecked his careful planning....now he'd never been so happy to see his plan fall apart. Despite impossible odds, you have both survived the worst and here you stood. He could hardly believe it some days, thought himself entirely too blessed to wake up beside you each morning. To call you his lover, his equal, the object of all of his desires.

"Are you alright my love?" You ask softly as you make your way inside,setting an armful of herbs for hanging onto the kitchen counter. He looked lost in thought, his mind transfixed on some unspoken puzzle he'd yet to reveal. Even so, he moves to wrap you in his arms quickly, cradling your body with such care as he feels the warmth of the sun still on your skin. He makes a point to hold onto you a little longer than usual today, tucking his head into your shoulder as he breathes in the scent of sun and earth on your skin. He may never walk in the light again, but the world is much less dark with you here in his arms. He leans back slightly, smiling as he sees the freckles he's so found of starting to become more numerous across your nose from the summer sun. His hand cradles your face, thumb caressing gently over your warm cheek as his lips press softly to yours. A small hum bubbling from his chest tickling against your lips as he breaks to gaze into your eyes.

"I am now, darling" he smiles lovingly, stealing a few more kisses before he reluctantly releases you from his arms. His heart will never beat again, but it belongs to you completely, just the same. He vows to show you every day how grateful he is to get to watch you dance happily in the sunshine, each night whisper his devotion to you evermore as he holds you close~

[blood-grove]

unnatural bleeding

merfolk au!

previous <- part 5 -> WIP

parings: gaz x reader

chars: gaz, price , soap , ghost

tws: blood, injuries, violence, past abuse, language, slow burn.

a/n: hehehhehehe finally new update :3 got rid of the rude reader tw cuz reader is gonna be annoyed at the world at best angry at worst plus i dont think ive been writing them rudely so also forgive me if the writing pov changes weirdly idk i have a hard time staying focused and consistent ill try better

tags; @chickennn-soupp @cassiecasluciluce @sans-chara @lethargicluv  @kaoyamamegami

What the hell was this place.

It seems all they did was stare at you and when you would clearly get sick of the mumbles and looks you'd splash them and they'd fucking laugh.

They were weird and the Gaz guy was weirder.

You found later his name was actually Kyle and he meant to clarify earlier.

But you found the silly nickname funny.

But this wasn't fun.

Being propped up on a large mat next to the side of the pool the leather felt uncomfortable under you, You also felt way too exposed as a few humans looked over your stitches and wrappings.

It felt weird there hands weren't rough but no one besides a few have touched you like this they were talking about something you'd care less to pay attention too.

As they examined you, Gaz kept trying to pull your attention away from the other humans.

Oh?

Was he jealous?.

Humans are so fickle it's funny.

-

Christ.

Even working with merfolk in the past Gaz still never got used to the bigger ones like you.

Scarface as you've been suitably nicknamed for the moment been alright and cooperative so far no biting or thrashing.

He'd likely guess the wounds were causing you to be so irritable they didn't look good when they first arrived problem had a couple of parasites on them along with other infections that are still being treated.

Price was observing the whole check up process.

You didn't speak much at least not to any of the other staff.

There were a few problems though.

Firstly they found you solo but there was still likely you belonged to a pod but which is the question.

Secondly, they couldn't keep you in the medical pool forever you were wild to some extent it would be cruel to keep you from you family.

Thirdly during your surgery, they'd found a piece of metal that didn't look important it was kept to be looked over in case it helped discover why you were in such a state, Price already guessed territorial fighting but you clearly (no offense) couldn't pick your battles.

Some of these scars and bites could have been lethal.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as you shifted clicking in annoyance he was quick to reach over for another fish from the bucket nearby by offering it up in an attempt to distract you.

"Are all humans this pokey?"

"No Scarface we just..need to make sure your healing okay..Then we can release you."

Kyle huffed as he gave you an honest smile ignoring the glare and grumble he received in return, You still took the fish though idly crunching on it.

They eventually finished the examination without much fuss except for you not so subtly tripping the newest volunteer who honestly should have been starting off with a much smaller mer than you.

But you start off somewhere.

Speaking of which it's about lunch time for them now and his break time, Kyle oversaw you getting back into the pool without much struggle before he left your area visiting by Price to mention he was going on his break before grabbing his lunch and heading to the docks.

He'd usually not have to wait long before they'd show but it'd seemed they were late.

It wasn't long till a familiar face popped up flashing teeth and all.

"Hey, Soap!" Kyle grinned as he looked to see the shark mer propping up his elbows onto the dock.

"Ghost comin'..?"

"Ah in a bit he's still getting his bearings.."

Now he was confused the last time he'd seen the pair and given them there updated shots and tags they'd been great.

The pair were unusual a Shark and Orca together seemed unheard of but yet just a few years ago now when Kyle had fallen overboard during an solo observation trip Ghost saved him from drowning.

Both of them were odd in a good way, Simon having been outcasted by his pod but he doesn't like to talk about it.

He had lots of scars all telling of countless battles of either for his territory or from just fights.

As for Soap, Sharks were solitary regardless but Soap had his own set of scars from fights some he shouldn't have tried starting.

"Bearings? What happended?.."

"Another fuckin' Orca smaller not as experienced grabbed me a few days back, Si really fucked em' up till the bastard clocked him on the head with there tail-"

Wait.

"Jesus , Where is he? I can get a team out and-"

"Ah ye know how he feels about humans..Plus he seemed to be swimming straight.."

"But Soap , He could have a concussion or maybe a facture-"

Soap sighed as he glanced back to the water before back at Kyle.

"Look..You can try convincing em'"

Soap frowned as Simon finally surfaced propping himself up onto the dock as well the wood creaking slightly under the weight of just Simons upper half.

"Ghost"

"Kyle."

Kyle huffed as he didnt even need to say anything as he went up to him giving him a look before he huffed grumbling quietly adjusting himself better so that Kyle could assess him.

Taking his time looking over the newer injuries they had healed well enough fishing out his little hand held flash light from his keychain in his pocket he checked Ghost's eyes.

After a bit of checking Kyle felt satisfied ignoring Ghost annoyed clicks.

"Mm..Now Soap you said it was another Orca right..? Did it come back?"

"Nah..Fucker swam off after bashing Ghost head..Pretty sure I could smell em' bleeding though for a bit till they got too far."

Right this was looking to be way too convenient and fitting to not match up with good ol' Scarface's condition.

"Mm..Alright..Anyway I brought some-"

"Treats?!" Before Kyle could even move his lunchbox away Soap had snatched it and Kyle let out a exasperated sigh not even fighting for it risk of being pulled into the water.

"Jesus Soap my lunch is still in there be careful- And dont eat the plastic!"

[aphrodyx]

We’re all we have

supernatural oneshot: Sam Winchester x Dean Winchester x y/n (mainly Dean)

tw//: mentions of death, mentions of suicide, self-hate, victim-blaming, and mentions of being unlovable

synopsis: you’ve been waiting for your brothers to come back from their hunting trip, however, you and Dean get in an argument. It makes you question his thoughts about you and your place in the family.

fem! reader x sam winchester, fem! reader x dean winchester, family au, some angst, and some foul language

an: sorry if this is shit, i just luv my bbs 🙁

It’s been a while, too long even. It’s been over a week since Sam and Dean went on their hunt in Valentine, Nebraska. It was suppose to be only a nest of vampires. Seven? Eight? Maybe nine? They could take them easily, so why is it taking them forever to return my calls. One last time, I swear if he doesn’t answer…

Pang! Pang! Pang!

“Open up y/n!” Dean’s voice muffled through the metal.

Seriously? Now they come what the hell. I rush to the door to open it.

“Hey! Hey! How’s my favorite girl doing?” Dean walks in shuffling around me, down the stairs to the table.

“Dude c’mon— hey y /n… how are you” Sam stopping in his tracks to acknowledge me with a soft smile.

“I’m angry and you know that, what the hell Sam!” I turn haltingly and follow Dean.

I pace around Dean, angrily waiting for an explanation. They were gone for seven full days with zero contact, and it’s not like we had an argument. Over 70 messages sent and 50 missed calls, I thought of the worse. They could have been dead in a ditch or heads ripped off; why didn’t they call me, text me, sent cass, absolutely anything to me to make sure they were still alive.

“Dean, I need answers right now!”

“Y/n, I’m sorry okay… I should’ve texted you. We’re alright, see?” Dean spins in a 360, showing himself injure-free.

“No! I’m sick a tired of these excuses, you’ve been so distant. You’re so quick to go from one hunt to another, your not slowing down at all. Im worried about you. You’re not eating good or sleep properly, and when was the last time you took a shower. Seriously?

“Y/n…” Dean starts getting frustrated walking up to her.

“Y/n…” Sam interferes, trying to calm her down.

“No! fucking talk to me! What’s the matter with you!” I slam my fist down on the table.

“My dad is dead! Do you know what’s that like? To have your father taken away from you and not even knowing who did it!” He slams his fist down, kicking a chair away.

“Dean, calm down please. Yelling at each other isn’t going to mend our problem right now” Sam puts his hand on his older brother’s shoulder.

“I lost him too, you know? He was like my dad too Dean?” I say up in his face.

“He wasn’t your dad though, as much as you think he was” He pushes around y/n and storms off to his room.

I stand there. Zero thoughts flooding my mind. Am I angry? Upset? I don’t even know. I know we aren’t actually siblings and I know John wasn’t my real dad, but… he took care of me. He took me in when no one else would, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, and a family: sam and dean. Why would he say that to me… did he really not consider me as his sister… as his family? I sniffle a bit, crouching down on the floor.

“Y/n…” sam says quietly, sitting down with me on the floor. “You know Dean didn’t mean that.. John was your dad too. He was a dad to all of us, you know… he takes grief harder than the rest of us”

Sniffle… Sniffle… Sniffle

“Still, I don’t know… that felt different” I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. “He’s never raised his voice up at me… I never wanted anything less for him.”

“I know… me too… it’s just been a rough couple of weeks, he’s been sleeping terribly and drinking a whole lot more than usual” Sam rubs his face with his hands.

“It’s my fault though… I should’ve returned your calls and texts. I know you mean the best for both of us; I’ll be honest, it’s been rough for me too. I just… I don’t know ive kept my phone on silent and just didn’t want to deal with anyone… even you.”

Hearing sam confess his true feelings felt like a demon blade right through my chest. He didn’t want to talk to me either. All this time, they’ve been grieving. Maybe I didn’t truly understand, John did raise them all their lives. Their mom died when Dean was just four years old and sam at six months. I don’t know anything about how they feel. They’re broken and lost. A piece of them has been shattered and they can never get that back.

“Im sorry Sam. Im so sorry, ive been so selfish and I wasn’t caring about you guys at all and I-“

“No. Stop, you are the most caring, loving, kind-spirited person I know and I love you so so much. Dean is just… We’re just… We have a hard time regulating our emotions especially right now. If we give ourselves the chance to sit down properly, we’re going to lose our minds.” Sam exhales fast, holding his thoughts in for so long.

“It’s not you, I swear. But he shouldn’t have done that to you, it was fucked up and he knows it. I promise he will come around and apologize, you know he’s stubborn so it might take a couple of days, hours if you’re lucky, but knowing Dean… were pretty lucky all the time., right?” Sam chuckles, glancing at y/n’s glossy eyes. “Please stop crying, it hurts me a lot more than it does for you to see you like this.”

“I know… I’m okay...”

I had doubts, I know Sam says Dean said that out of frustration but I don’t know. I’ll give him some time though, I know he looked up to his dad for everything. He cared so much for him in deep admiration and devotion. Just like how I feel about Sam and Dean. I push myself off the floor, dried tears smudged on my cheeks.

“Rest now, you’ve had a long day, and there should be Chinese take out in the kitchen” I hug Sam: rubbing his hands up and down, letting him know I’ll be alright.

—————— ————time skip———————————

I lay down on my bed with music blasting in my headphones, listening to “Carry on Wayward Son” by Kansas; Dean’s favorite song. He told me anytime I’m upset, mad, happy, or confused I can always play this song and I’ll know what to do. I gave him space for a couple of hours and now I can’t fall asleep. I hate being in any grey area with Dean, he took care of me after John was gone on hunts as well. He was always there for Sam and I.

I hear a quiet knock at the door.

“Come in” I sit up, taking off my headphones to see who’s about to walk into my room.

“Hey… can we talk?” Dean says leaning against the door frame, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, what’s up” I scoot over making room for the both us on my twin xl bed.

“Y/n… Im so so sorry for how I acted with you today, I was a complete fucking jerk and I didn’t mean anything I said.” Dean spits out disappointingly. “John— dad. You lost him too, not just me nor Sam. You. You lost the only man who ever cared for you, loved you, knew you”

“Dean—“

“No. Let me continue. Dad was in your life for fifteen years. Fifteen! What right did I have to say that he wasn’t your dad either? I knew you since I was twelve, sammy was seven. We grew up together. We’re always and will be family. How the fuck could I say that to you?” Dean covers his face in his hands in shame.

“Y/n, ive been so selfish, I should’ve stopped what I was doing after dad died and just been there for you, for sammy. He’s been trying to stop me from going on all these hunts, but I won’t listen. I never listen. That’s my problem, im such an idiot.”

“Please forgive me, I didn’t mean it at all. Ive been in my head and these aren’t excuses but it’s just been so hard. It’s just always been so hard, and now dad gone just feels like my breaking point. I should’ve replied back to your calls and texts, Ive just been so angry and I just needed to kill. I needed to get out all these thoughts, and the voices out. I couldn’t stand a second staying in the bunker.” Dean’s softly sobbing now uncontrollably.

“Dean… I know… I just know how close you were with dad, I should’ve considered what would happen-“

“No, you shouldn’t consider anything. Im the oldest, I shouldve been there for you, and not the other way around. It’s just been so suffocating lately. I can’t breathe, I can’t walk, I can’t eat, for life doesn’t feel real anymore.”

I scoot closer to Dean, picking up his head.

“Don’t talk like that, we’re here still: sam, cass, and me. Your family is still here and we care so much for you. We are so loved Dean, please see that. I know it’s hard right now but going through this alone, and isolating yourself? That isn’t the way to go, we will get through this together. Like we always do. Family sticks together, Winchesters forever”

Dean’s glossy eyes reaches y/n’s; he reaches out, grasping to the sides of head, and brings it closer to him. Kissing the middle of her forehead, he says, “I never deserved you.”

“I never deserved you; I never knew I’d get loved like this ever again from people. Until John came, and told me it’s okay to come home with him. He told me he’d protect and care for me. But within all that, I never knew I would get two amazing brothers along the way.”

Dean rests his forehead against y/n’s. He takes her hand in his and squeezes it. Dean has always been this hard core man from the outside, but truly he’s just a hurt child. He always has been. It hasn’t been easy for him: losing his mom, being forced into the family business, surviving each hunt, and caring for sam. I could never blame his behavior now, he just hasn’t had the time to heal. He needs to heal, but he can’t.

“I love you a lot Dean, I hope you know that. I truly do.” I kiss the side of his head.

“I know you do, I love you a lot too y/n, you’re my little sister. Forgive me please.”

“I forgive you… but no more hunts, at least for now, we need to all take time and grieve, and spend some time together. No hunting business, no demon or angel business, just family. We can even go see Jodie for a few days?”

“Thank you y/n, seriously. Thank you for forgiving me because I don’t think I would have been able to sleep tonight if you didn’t. And yeah whatever you want to do: a family trip! Seeing Jodie will be amazing, little trip into the forest to the cabin.” Dean smiles facing y/n while pushing her hair out of her face.

“Perfect! We’ll tell Sam in the morning, it’s almost three a.m. we should probably try to sleep now.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he gets up and walks towards the door. Turning around abruptly, he says “thank you again, sweetheart. I know I let my emotions get the best of me, but I’ll try. I’ll try because I don’t want to make you feel like you don’t belong in this family. I could never let myself live again if I said that to you again.”

“I know Dean, trust me I do. Im glad we talked, dad wouldn’t have wanted this between us would he now?”

“No, he wouldn’t. He’s probably calling me an asshole for saying that to you, Im definitely on his bad side right now.”

“He knows we’re struggling, he won’t blame you and neither will I.”

Dean chuckles, smiling to the ceiling. I can still see how broken he feels inside, but it won’t go away in one night. It’ll take time and im willingly to help him out, im willing to help them both out.

“Goodnight y/n” Dean whispers

“Goodnight Dean” I whisper back.