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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months ago

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In advance of Taskmaster season 18 starting, I found Andy Zaltzman's old episodes on a couple of Alex Horne podcasts, and listened to those. This sent me down a route of finding various Zaltzman appearances on podcasts, and I was reminded that there's an entire Zaltzman-hosted thing that's easy to find that I've never heard. It's his "Summer of Sport", which was a podcast he did for The Guardian throughout summer 2016, discussing the various sporting things happening. Rio Olympics, obviously. Also other stuff. I think there was cricket on.

It's weird that I've not listened to that before, and that it's not even something I think of if I think of Andy Zaltzman's career, even though I know Andy Zaltzman's career very well. I know Andy's pre-Bugle career because that's Chocolate Milk Gang stuff; I have studied that era in, probably, far too much detail. And anything he's done since The Bugle started, I know about it because I've heard it plugged on the podcast.

But Summer of Sport fell through a crack, as the John Oliver era of The Bugle ended in March 2016, and the reboot started in October 2016. This one little six-month window of Andy Zaltzman's career where I don't know what was going on, and he hosted a whole 12-episode podcast without me noticing. I mean, I was vaguely aware that it existed for some reason, but didn't really know what it was until I came across it this weekend.

So I picked a couple of episodes that had guests I wanted to hear from, and downloaded them. I think I'll end up listening to the whole thing, but I've started with that. And I'm not hugely proud to say I started with a Russell Howard episode because it had Russell Howard. It also had Steve Williams, a guy I know three things about: he's a Welsh stand-up, he appeared in that Comedians' Football video on YouTube (on the non-Avalon team... which might be why I know so little about him), and he wrote on Russell Howard's TV shows.

I will still be annoyingly quick to click on any podcast that has Chocolate Milk Gang person + Russell Howard, because they'll bring out the CMG-type humour that Russell Howard does sometimes, which I still quite enjoy.

It is odd that Russell Howard is still quite near the list of comedians whose voice I've spent the most hours listening to. 125 hours of the BBC 6 Music show with Jon Richardson, plus all his Mock the Week, plus every episode of Good News and nearly every one of The Russell Howard Hour (minus the last few, when I gave up on it after he started throwing in the alt-right stuff) - that adds up. It's all stuff I watched earlier in my time getting into Britcom though, a few years ago. Basically, Taskmaster was the first thing I watched, and Russell Howard was one of my very favourites on Taskmaster (I didn't even know when I first watched season 6 that he was one of the most famous ones, I just knew I found him the funniest and most interesting), so one of the first things I did after that was look up what else he'd done, and it turns out there's a lot. I watched all his stand-up DVDs before I got into most other people's stand-up, when I was mainly watching panel shows - so I quite liked those stand-up DVDs, but I'm pretty sure I was easily impressed by generic charm and would be less impressed if I re-watched them now.

He was also the first British comedian I saw in person, in early 2022 when my then-girlfriend got us tickets because she knew I liked British comedy and saw Russell Howard coming to town and she didn't know that I was mad at Russell Howard for bringing Jordan Peterson on his TV show, and I didn't tell her that because it was a nice gift so we went, and to be completely honest, we had a fantastic time. Did he have the best material in the world? I don't know, probably not? But he had some pretty good material and a lot of fun stage presence and the night felt exciting and electric I hadn't been to in-person comedy besides my local clubs before, and he was a lot of steps up from that (actually that's not quite true, I saw Trevor Noah in an arena in 2019, which was not great). He'd done a bit of local research and talked shit about the truckers who'd recently taken over our city and that got massive cheers from the crowd and then there was one moment when he muttered that even though they'd gone about it badly you had to admit they had a couple of good points, and I thought "Fucking hell Russell do not do this now, for the sake of the 125 hours I spent listening to you talk on the radio in 2007 when you were cool, please just be that guy tonight and don't fucking ruin this", and then he didn't, no more right-wing stuff, just impressions of family members that I probably enjoyed too much.

Russell Howard is actually back in my city this month, he's done one night here a couple of weeks from now. I have to admit I briefly considered getting tickets. I am curious as to what sort of material he's doing these days. Curious as to whether his comedy would hold up, in my eyes, now that I've seen a lot more stand-up (almost definitely not, but I'm curious). Curious as to whether he's turned around the right-ward political drift, or doubled down on it. Though ideally I'd like to find that out in a way where I don't give him money, in case it turns out to be the latter. And I have to admit... okay, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have bought a ticket anyway, but the thing that made me decide to definitely not buy a ticket is I remembered that I read somewhere he had a kid earlier this year. So the show will presumably be about that, and I don't want to hear that. Yesterday I watched John Kearns' The Varnishing Days and thought that was absolutely brilliant, earlier this year Anne Edmonds released her special Why Is My Bag All Wet and I found that hilarious, and a few months ago I heard Josie Long do an hour-long WIP that I loved. All three of those stand-up shows were about the comedians' kid(s), and it is so unlikely that I'm going to find four parenthood-based stand-up shows in one year that I like, given my general aversion to the topic. I realize it's not great that the threat of parenthood material put me off a show even more than the threat of right-wing material, but I just can't listen to another person tell me how tiring it is to raise a baby.

Anyway. I was trying to think, today, of why I keep being interested in hearing Russell Howard talk even though I know he's not that great, and it occurred to me today that of all the British comedians, Russell Howard's the one who's most like most people I know in real life. I've written lots before about which comedians' personas or material most remind me of myself, and of course I like those, everyone likes some relatable comedy. I almost never find Russell Howard relatable (except sometimes on Taskmaster, when the ruthlessly competitive side came out, which was what made me like him so much in the first place), but he does strongly remind me of so many people I know, just overall, in a broad variety of ways.

I've pointed out some of those individual ways before. I knew that part of why I got so drawn into that BBC 6 Music radio show is it reminded me of a couple of my own friendships that strained and/or disintegrated in the same ways as whatever the hell the Jon Richardson/Russell Howard relationship went through on live radio for a couple of years, with me being and OCD obsessive like Jon Richardson (not using the term in the annoyingly quirky colloquial way there, I've got a diagnosis and also have several disintegrated friendships to prove it is not just a fun quirk) and Russell Howard reminding me of some of my more carefree and easily distracted and sunny-dispositioned friends. Russell Howard's vague right-ward political drift is a pattern that I'm sure I'm one of many people who's seen it play out lots in real life from the last ten years, when you know someone who's otherwise cool and then suddenly they're telling you that actually, if you'd just stop and actually read Jordan Peterson's books and consider what he's saying, you'd realize he has some pretty interesting insights that could benefit us all. And you wonder if they've changed suddenly, or if they were always like that and you never really knew them. For comedians who are all desperately seeking ground that hasn't been covered 10,000 times for their material (yes, we all know that raising a baby is hard, we've heard it before), I think the "friend goes right-wing an you wonder if whether they've changed or whether you never really knew them" phenomenon happens far more often than it's been talked about; there's an area of life that's been disproportionately under-covered. Though it maybe it doesn't happen all that often to comedians, what with the liberal bubble and all. That mythical liberal bubble that sounds like such a lovely place to live. It must have happened to some comedians, though. The ones who hang out with Russell Howard, for a start.

Anyway, I found Russell Howard's ComCom episode absolutely fascinating, it's one of my favourite episodes of that podcast. He talks in ways I've rarely heard comedians talk, but that people I know talk all the time. He talked about destructive obsession with self-improvement, in a way that sounded more like an athlete than an artist. The type of athlete mentality that's the reason why so many people I know end up slipping down the Jordan Peterson rabbit hole. And approached several topics with the sort of shoulder chip and hard-headed attitude that I'd expect to see on my own Facebook feed full of athletes, far more than I'd expect it on a podcast about an Art. I've spent many years as a nerd among jocks, and I find it interesting to listen to Russell Howard describe himself as sort of the opposite of that.

Anyway, absolutely none of that was the point of this post. I mean, I guess it's the point now, but I really did not sit down to write that stuff today. I sat down to write this because I wanted to say, I was picking out a few little episodes of Andy Zaltzman's summer of sport to listen to, and I was drawn to the Russell Howard one in spite of myself, because Russell Howard + Andy Zaltzman = Chocolate Milk Gang, and I was not disappointed on that front, as while they were discussing the diving event at the Rio Olympics, Russell Howard said something that is damn close to be exactly what I've written on my blog before:

I have described the Zaltzman/Oliver dynamic in those terms so many times, there's just no way to capture it without comparing it to a sport. Two people who were doing something so far outside the box that their stuff wouldn't fit with anyone except each other, and yet with each other, they're like teammates who are perfectly calibrated to know exactly where the other will go every time and therefore push each other to higher levels.

...That was the point of this post. I just wanted to share that audio clip and say "Look, some Chocolate Milk Gang discussion, and Russell Howard described Zaltzman/Oliver the same way I did." Not really sure what the point was of the several paragraphs ruminating on the nature/draw of Russell Howard up there. Just forget about those.

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miss-andromeda · 1 year ago

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Even In Your Wildest Dreams

So, uh…the plot of this oneshot is non-canon, but it does take place during season 1. Andi and Donnie are not dating; though, they do have feelings for each other.

An idea that I had while talking with my dear friend @tinkabelle19 - so thank you for always being such an inspiration, girl 🩷

Synopsis: When Andi is invited to the annual gala at the New York Hall of Science, Donnie creates a special watch that can turn him into a human for the evening - so he can attend as her plus one.

Tropes: Fake Dating, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love (if that’s even a trope? 😅), Jealousy/Overprotectiveness

Song Inspiration: Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

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She had never run so fast in her life - up to that point, at least.

Clutching the letter in her hand, Andi had a nearly jaw-breaking smile on her face - and she knew her hand was probably going to start trembling with how hard she was clutching the paper.

But she didn’t care.

The second she made it to the lair, she bolted straight for the lab. Pushing it open, she didn’t even wait for Donnie to greet her before she made him look at her. “I have amazing news.” She grinned, making Donnie smile and put down his equipment to indulge. “And that is…?”

Clearing her throat, Andi sat herself on the desk as she started to read the contents of the letter (in a fairly crude British accent):

‘Dear Andromeda,

We have come across your work regarding your school’s science club, as well as your own work regarding the scientific field, and suffice it to say, we are quite impressed. We here at NYSCI would like to formally invite you, as well as a guest, to our annual NYSCI Gala on October 15th at 6:00 pm, where you will have the opportunity to indulge in a fabulous dinner, dancing, and of course, be able to meet with some of the brightest minds currently working in the scientific field. We look forward to seeing you there.

Sincerely,

The New York Hall of Science’

When she finished reading, her smile was blinding. “Do you know what this means?” She practically squealed. “We’re going to one of the most important museums in the country! And we’re gonna meet so many intellectual and renowned people - this…this is like our big break!”

“Yeah, that’s grea-” But then Donnie cut himself off at what she said. “Wait, ‘we?’” He asked, making Andi nod and smile softer.

“Well, yeah! You’re the only person that’s as enthused and passionate about science as I am, and admittedly, you’re the only person I’d want to attend an event like a gala with.”

Donnie gave her a sympathetic look. He hated to rain on her parade, but there was a very prevalent elephant in the room. “Uh, Andi…turtle, remember?”

When he gestured to himself, Andi immediately deflated and nodded a bit. “Oh, yeah…” She mumbled, her eyes averting back to the letter. “So, do I, um…need to ask someone else?” She really didn’t want to ask anyone else, to be blunt; April was amazing, but she wouldn’t be interested in something like this, and as much as she liked the others in the Higgs Bosons (well, save for Matt, that annoying weasel), she saw them every day.

Granted, she saw Donnie every day too, but still! She didn’t have a crush on everyone in the Higgs Bosons!

Ugh, it was still weird getting used to that.

Thankfully, her idiocy was interrupted by Donnie, who was…frantically shaking his head and holding his hands in front of him. “No, no, no! I’ll come up with something amazing! I’ll make myself human if I have to!”

Andi only stared at him at that declaration. “How would you be able to do that? Reverse-engineer your DNA or something?”

Donnie only gave her a serious smile. “If that means going with you to this gala, then so be it.”

She would be lying if she said her stomach didn’t start fluttering at that.

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And before either of them knew it, October 15th had come.

April had come over before to help Andi with her hair and makeup (thankfully, the process took much shorter than when it was her birthday,) but now the latter was sitting in her living room, holding a white purse for her laser gun, her cell phone and the tickets that came with the letter - and waiting anxiously for the knock.

It was hard to deny that she looked pretty. She was wearing a knee length, lacey pink dress with a high a-line and a thin pink belt around her waist, white pumps (though the heel was not high at all, she estimated only around 2 inches), her constellation necklace above the neckline, and her bow was sitting comfortably in her half updo.

Her face was also done too. A neutral foundation, light pink glittery eyeshadow (lighter than her dress, though), traditional black mascara and a tinted lip balm ensured that she looked formal, but natural at the same time. April’s signature, it seemed.

Andi had made a note to thank her with dinner and going to see that new sci-fi movie that April had talked about seeing. It was only right.

Just as she was about to write it down and tape it to her bedroom door, a knock at the door to her apartment interrupted her, and she smiled softly. Donnie had promised her that he was going to that gala with her, so that must’ve been him…right?

Well, that was what she thought when a tall teenage boy (well, a quite attractive teenage boy, to be fair) stood in her doorway - and her smile immediately faded. “Hi.” He smiled at her. His voice sounded like Donnie’s, though, which was weird.

“Um, do I know you?” Andi asked with confusion laced in her tone. “I’m waiting for a friend.” ‘Well, more like crush that I refuse to tell him,’ she thought, but she wasn’t about to tell that to a complete stranger.

Seriously, who was this kid?

The boy chuckled a bit, his cheeks turning a bit pink. “Andi, it’s me. It’s Donnie.” He finally confirmed, making Andi stare at him in shock - and a bit of awe.

“What?”

“I made this!” He held up a watch - it looked like a standard analog watch with a black strap on his wrist. “And by using this-” He then fiddled with the little button on the side, like he needed to fix it to match the time - and then transformed back to his usual self; purple bandana, tall physique…yep, that was Donnie. “-I can go back and forth between human and mutant!” He grinned at her and messed with the watch again, turning back into a human. “Pretty cool, right?”

Andi could only nod as she started to drink in what he looked like. Clean-swept brown hair (darker than hers), brown eyes, freckles, that gap in between his teeth…and the cherry on top.

The glasses sitting comfortably on his nose.

And then she noticed what he was wearing; a white dress shirt, black dress pants and a matching tuxedo vest…and a purple tie. That should’ve been a dead giveaway, but Andi was too enthralled by the fact that he was actually human to notice it.

“Two things…” She managed when she could finally talk. “One, you need to tell me how you did this so effortlessly afterward.” She requested, then swallowed the little lump in her throat. “And two, you look really��cute like this.”

It took everything in her not to say he looked as handsome and lovely as he did as a turtle.

Donnie’s cheeks turned a bright pink this time. “Uh…thanks. You too.” ‘Smooth, Donatello…’ He thought to himself. ‘You couldn’t think of anything original? Tell her she looks as beautiful as ever? But noooo, you had to go with the most lame response possible…well, at least you have the corsage.’

“Um, this is for you.” He smiled softly, taking out a white box and holding it out for her. When she opened it, there was a small corsage with pink roses and baby’s breath, as well as a little white bow. “April told me your dress was pink, so I asked if she could pick this up for me…” He admitted with a shy smile. “Do you want to put it on?”

Andi had to hold back tears as she nodded, holding out her left wrist for him to put it on. It was an elegant move on his part, to be honest. Even if they weren’t going to prom together (nor were they even dating), it was sweet that he was treating an event like this as importantly as she was.

She beamed as he delicately put the band around her wrist, then found herself laughing to herself as he held out his elbow. “Shall we, m’lady?” He asked her jokingly with a smile on his face. She responded with grabbing his elbow with an odd amount of gusto. “We shall, my dear sir.” She retorted, then laughed as he walked her down the apartment hallway.

Yeah, tonight was going to be amazing, she could tell.

----------

“Thank you!” Andi called as the taxi drove away. Now she and Donnie were standing in front of the entrance, and she had to admit, it was beautiful. People were conversing outside, some were on their phones (likely waiting for someone), and others were beginning to file in. The security guard standing outside checked for tickets and once guests were good to go, she unhooked a velvet rope to allow them access.

“Ready?” She smiled eagerly at Donnie (who only nodded in response), then grabbed the tickets from her purse, took his elbow like they were an old married couple, and walked up to the guard.

“Tickets, please.” She requested; she was a tall lady, but it was clear that she worked out with her lean, built frame. Andi smiled at her and handed her the small slips of paper, and after a brief reading to ensure they were legitimate, she nodded in satisfaction and unhooked the rope. “Thank you, guys. Have a nice night.”

Andi’s grip on Donnie’s elbow tightened a bit as they walked into the hall and looked around.

And her breath was nearly lost.

The interior was somehow even more beautiful than the exterior. The ceiling was domed (almost like the Sistine Chapel, complete with paintings) and the amount of lights strung around were blinding. Tables were set up in what looked like a dining hall, and there was a 10-piece orchestra playing quiet classical music - it sounded vaguely Mozart…or maybe Bach?

Whatever, what mattered was that it set the tone rather elegantly.

“Isn’t it amazing?” She whispered in awe - not noticing that Donnie wasn’t even focusing on the design of the interior. He was looking directly at her…and how beautiful she looked in the light. The necklace from her birthday was reflecting perfectly, and coupled with how bright her eyes looked…she looked as beautiful as any of the paintings on the ceiling, maybe even more.

“Gorgeous…” He whispered back, a smile lighting up his face.

But he stopped staring at her when she met his eyes, an eager glint in her eye. “Want to see if we can find anyone from my school?”

“Do you think that’s even possible?”

“It has to be. This one girl, Valerie, literally brought it with her to a meet and bragged about what an honor it was to go to something like this.”

And sure enough, there they were. For the most part, staying back and talking amongst themselves. And judging by how perfect they still looked, they must’ve just arrived as well.

There were three people; a tall girl with short, cropped brunette hair, Valerie, a boy with curly, platinum blonde hair holding a glass, Kevin, and a chubby girl with straight auburn hair, Danica.

When Danica saw the pair walking towards her, her eyes lit up as she ran over - as fast as she could in platform heels. “Hi! Oh my gosh, I was hoping you would make it!”

Andi smiled softly at her. “Here I am.” She simply replied, then turned to Donnie. “Let me introduce you to the Higgs Bosons, Don. So this is Danica-” She chuckled when Danica waved at him with a gigantic grin on her face. “-she’s the most…enthused about meeting new people. That’s Kevin-” She pointed to him and snickered when the aforementioned boy gave them his signature gesture, the finger gun. “-arguably the most relaxed out of all of us, and that’s Valerie. She’s like my right hand woman when it comes to the club, and definitely the most…motherly out of all of us.”

“And I wear that with a badge of honor.” Valerie smirked at her, then nudged her head towards Donnie. “So are you gonna introduce us to him or is he gonna have to do it himself?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Andi rolled her eyes, but found herself smiling at Donnie. “And this is Donnie, my-” Suddenly it occurred to her. If she said that Donnie was her friend, they would ask why they never heard about him before. So she decided to go with something that would probably be more awkward, but easier to explain.

“-my boyfriend.”

She gave a quick look to a stunned and blushing Donnie as if to say ‘just go with it, I’ll explain later’ as Danica gasped and grinned at her. “You never told us you had a boyfriend!”

“Uh, yeah.” Donnie quickly jumped in. “We’ve only been dating for four months now. Still kind of new, you know?” He then smiled softly at Andi. “But I really like her. I can see us going places.” It was easy to say things like this, admittedly. Even if it wasn’t real, he found himself speaking the truth.

“You’d better not do anything to break her heart, dude, or I’ll break you.” Valerie told him, then looked at Andi. “He’s good to you?”

Andi smiled up at him. “He’s amazing.” She simply replied, then chuckled when he only tittered and smiled bashfully. “He’s as smart as I am, and that’s saying something.” She then looked at Kevin. “You know, he actually helped me perfect that laser gun I was showing you?”

“Seriously?”

Almost immediately, the two boys started talking about engineering (as well as Kevin asking if Donnie could help him create something as cool as Andi’s gun) while the girls watched on in amusement.

But then Valerie’s little smile faded as she glanced at Andi. “You know Matt’s here too, right?” The latter groaned in annoyance. “Seriously? Where is he?” When Valerie pointed to the left and simply said “Bathroom,” Andi rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable…” She muttered.

This was going to be a fun night indeed.

----------

“I’m gonna get a drink.” Andi smiled softly at her friends as she started to step away. When Donnie offered to join her, she laughed a bit. “And interrupt your conversation with Kev? No thanks, professor. Enjoy yourself.”

She smiled at him specifically, then walked off to the small bar serving drinks. She ordered a sparkling cider (mainly because of the incredible wine glass it was served in), smiled lightly at the bartender, and walked away, about to join the others again. The dinner would be starting soon, and she wanted to ensure that they held a table together - or were, at least, close to each other.

“Well. I was not expecting to see you here, missy.”

Oh.

Oh no.

As soon as Andi turned around, she had to resist the urge to throw her drink at him. There he was, in all of his disgusting arrogance and overgelled, permed dark caramel hair.

Matt.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fuc-” Andi was promptly interrupted by Matt stepping much too close for her liking. She backed up immediately and stared him down. “Do you mind? I’d like to enjoy my evening without worrying that my sinuses will burn from how much cologne you’re wearing.”

Matt only chuckled, stepping to her again. “Always the feisty one, hm? It’s alright, I’ve always said you and I are like sodium and potassium; we have the potential to be pretty explosive.”

Andi rolled her eyes at the line, her hand gripping the glass tightly. “Seriously, I’ll give you five seconds to leave me alone before I use the laser gun in my purse and turn you inside out.”

Matt only smirked, believing she was bluffing. “Sure. Like you actually got that thing working. Don’t fight it, Andi, come on…”

Andi was so relieved that Donnie had glanced over at the two of them - and caught wind of what was going on. And judging by the stormy look in his eye, he was not okay with it.

He was over before Andi could even blink. “What’s going on here?”

Matt immediately stepped away, but noticed this…weird kid staring him down. He didn’t look familiar in the slightest, and yet, he was here, acting like he had something to do with Andi? “Uh, nothing, just…who are you?”

“Andi’s-” Donnie stopped himself for a split second, the word still felt foreign to him. But they had to keep it up, just for the evening. And besides, if it meant getting this creep off her back, so be it. “-Andi’s boyfriend, that’s who.”

Matt stared at the two of them for a second, then scoffed and chuckled disbelievingly. “Yeah, like I’m gonna believe that. This is the first time I’m hearing that Andi Rhodes has a boyfriend and you expect me to just believe it?”

Donnie growled slightly to himself. “You want proof?” He asked - completely forgetting that it was all fake. He wasn’t supposed to actually prove it - but it was Donnie. And when he was doubted, he needed to prove himself.

Maybe that was why he kissed her with such passion that he could feel both of their heartbeats picking up as fast as humanly possible.

Or maybe because he knew that he would likely never have a chance to do this again.

The sound of Matt’s voice was completely faded, but the two could swear that he said something like ‘fine, whatever’ - and when Donnie cracked one eye open for a moment, he internally smirked as he watched Matt stalk away.

That’s what he got.

Once he was finally out of view, Donnie pulled away and met Andi’s eyes. Her face was the darkest shade of maroon she had ever seen, her eyes were wide, and her lips were slightly opened.

And even though he knew his face was the exact same way, he didn’t care at the moment.

It was only when Andi found the words to talk did the high finally wear off. “Um…when I said you were my boyfriend, I was…not expecting that to happen tonight…” She admitted, her mind feeling like TV static.

“Was it, um…too much?” Donnie asked, his face almost immediately cringing. What if it was and now Andi wanted to leave? What if he just ruined their friendship? What if she never wanted to see him again? What if-

“Not at all.”

Oh.

Donnie’s face practically exploded in a crimson hue as he bashfully nodded. “N-Noted..”

“Just…maybe we don’t do anything like that again tonight?”

“Right…”

Neither of them admitted it, but they were both protesting in their minds when Andi requested that.

----------

And before they knew it, the night was over - and so was their relationship.

After taking a second taxi back to her apartment, Andi was smiling from ear to ear as Donnie walked her up to her door. She knew the night was going to be fun, but she was not expecting things like him and Kevin to get along so well or to for Danica to ask him to join them at their next meet - all he had to do was just sneak in through the back door of the school.

The entire night felt like a daze, to be completely honest. But a brilliant daze.

But it ended as soon as they made it to her apartment door.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow after school?” Donnie asked her with a soft smile, and when she nodded, his smile turned into a grin. “Cool. And if you see Kevin tomorrow, let him know that I fully intend on taking him up on his offer of a miniature robotics competition.”

Andi threw her head back and cackled to herself. “I’ll do that.” She replied, but then her face turned much more soft. “Tonight was amazing. I’m…I’m really glad you got to go.”

Donnie’s cheeks turned a soft pink as he giggled to himself. “Me too.”

“Goodnight, professor.”

“Goodnight, enchantress.”

She gave him one more smile before finally stepping inside the apartment and closing the door.

And almost immediately, she got her phone out of her purse and texted April: ‘Hey, finally home! And you’re never gonna believe this! Don and I were a fake couple for the night - and he kissed me! 🥴’

Within seconds, April responded. ‘Do you know what that means???’

‘He’s…really good at committing to a bit?’

‘No dummy, he loves you!’

Andi immediately started shaking her head - even if April couldn’t see it. ‘He does not, he probably just did it in the heat of the moment. No way Donnie actually likes me back 🙄’

‘Who else do you know would go to a science gala with you, agree to be your fake boyfriend - and kiss you even when he likely didn’t need to?’

“He did need to, to be fair - Matt Price was bothering us at one point in the night’

‘But he didn’t need to kiss you specifically - and yet he did 😏’

She couldn’t have been that oblivious, was she?

Maybe she was when she saw a text from Donnie. ‘Hey, tonight was amazing! I wouldn’t be opposed to going to another gala with you, to be completely honest :) But nevertheless, I’ll see you tomorrow - we’ll either spend the afternoon working on a new experiment or tinkering with some old ones, your choice :) Have sweet dreams, Andi 💜’

When her face burned bright pink as she read it, she found herself smiling to herself.

Maybe she was oblivious to the fact that he liked her. Maybe it took her months to realize that she felt the same way about him.

But if it meant that Donnie actually felt the same way about her that she did about him, she wasn’t exactly about to start complaining.

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Three things:

Happy anniversary to me 🩷

I hope you enjoyed this little gift from me to you 💜

Wanna be added to the taglist for any chapters or standalone works? Let me know 💜🩷

@tinkabelle19 @happymoonangel @red-phoenixxx @m1dnyt3-w0lf @android-cap-007 @eveandtheturtles

#tmnt 2012 #donatello #oc andi rhodes #oneshot #all's fair in love and science #anniversary gift #from me to you

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nicascurls · 1 year ago

Text

Strangeness and Charm - Part Six

Word Count: 2K

Summary: Season 1 AU where Andy and Kyle arrive at Charles Lee Ray’s old house before Tiffany leaves with Junior and Nica and ultimately save them. Set in 2017, two weeks after Cult since that's when the show was originally mentioned to be set and in my opinion, makes the most sense.

Notes: Sorry this took so long. I had my end of year exams at University and then a severe case of writer’s block. I had to write at least a small interaction between Nica and Caroline to make up for the pain of Don getting rid of Alice. I also wanted to bring up how Devon looks up to Andy cause he totally does and Don just doesn’t devote enough time to it.

Tags: @streets-in-paradise @losersclubisms @cult-of-dollbabies

Two hours later, the movie was coming to an end and the kids were mostly quiet. There had been a fair amount of discussion to begin with, the other teens filling Junior in on what happened and Lexy calling her parents to assure them that both her and Caroline were safe for the night while they were still in the hospital.

Nica hadn’t been paying much attention to the movie, preferring instead to quietly talk to Kyle whilst the kids were occupied and, in all honesty it stopped her hearing Chucky as much. Since she regained control Chucky had been fighting to take the wheel again and with that Nica discovered that it was harder for him to fight if she was occupied, if her body actively had to focus on doing something. Not to mention both adults were growing increasingly concerned as time went on and still no word or sign of Andy.

Kyle was a little more used to it, after 27 years of being his sister she had grown pretty familiar with his increasing recklessness. Not that it ever stopped her worrying fully, but it helped knowing that it wasn’t exactly unusual. For Nica it was a different story, anything to do with Chucky for her, all she had to do was turn her back for a second and she would be met with another bloody corpse.

“So, Andy’s mom basically adopted you?”

“Yeah pretty much,” Kyle confirmed as she finished her drink, “I mean I was an adult by the time Karen was out so not as official as usual but definitely appreciated.”

“Wait, so what actually happened?”

“From what I know, there were cops there when the doll was killed the first time that saw him but no evidence to back up the claims so they advised Karen not to mention anything about the doll. Obviously Andy only being 6, the logical thing was to tell the truth but there were no alibis for him so Karen stuck with the doll story as well, to keep him safe. Well, that story can be considered a logical trauma response for a 6 year old..”

“But not for the mother taking care of him.”

“Yeah.”

“Legal system’s a joke, huh?” Kyle let out a small chuckle in response.

“I grew up in foster care, you don’t have to tell me.” Nica smiled at her in response before Junior’s voice tore through the quiet.

“No way Andy did that!”

“Junior, shut up. Caroline’s asleep.” Lexy hissed, playfully trying to cover his mouth.

“He did, we swear.” Devon argued from his spot next to Jake. The two adults stopped their conversation and turned towards the teens.

“What did Andy do?” Nica asked, with a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Apparently he gave Tiffany the middle finger as he drove away in the truck.”

“Yeah, and Kyle sabotaged the engine in Tiffany’s car.” Jake added. Nica’s only response was to turn to Kyle with raised eyebrows.

“Look, my move was calculated and gave us an advantage, my brother’s, well…”

“With everything that woman’s done, the middle finger is the least she deserves.” Nica comments with a smirk as the teens let out a giggle at the memory.

Just at that moment they heard the door open and Kyle instinctively reached for her gun as the kids' heads shot up.

“Kyle? It’s not tomorrow yet so you don’t have to lecture me.”

“Only just.” Kyle responded, checking the time on her phone as she got up to meet him. “Oh, shit! Nica, it’s probably best if you cover your eyes.” Kyle called from the front door upon seeing her brother. Nica instantly stopped herself before wheeling back towards the couch and checking on Caroline as the teens continued to follow Kyle.

‘You should go and check y'know,’ Chucky was trying to break through again, ‘I’m sure ya remember what happened to Barbie when she was alone with me.’ Nica took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to fight the images of her sister’s lifeless body that were forming.

‘How stupid do you think I am Charles? I’m not letting you regain control.’

‘Don’t test me kid, mommy dearest couldn’t survive one of me. Ya really think Andy’s gonna be fine after facing 72 of me?’

“Just shut up.” Nica mumbled under her breath.

“Lexy?” She looked over and met the sleepy eyes of Caroline as the little girl looked for her sister.

“Hey, sweetie. It’s ok, Lexy and the others are just helping Andy and Kyle. You can go back to sleep if you want.” The young girl looked at Nica with a confused expression before pointing at her face.

“Your forehead’s gone funny.” She stated as she reached to point at the vein on Nica’s forehead that had made itself known next to her scar.

“Oh, I just have a bit of a headache. It’s nothing to worry about.” Nica claimed as she desperately tried to keep Chucky quiet. Just then she heard footsteps as Lexy made her way back into the living room.

“Hey, Care. Are you good?” her sister nodded in response, “Okay, we’re just checking on Andy now that he’s back.”

“Is he alright?” Nica tried to mask the concern in her voice, the kids didn’t need to start worrying about that too.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. Just a few cuts that Kyle is taking care of but obviously, blood.”

“Right.”

“What’s wrong with blood?” Caroline questioned innocently looking at Nica, “If he’s going to be okay then the blood doesn’t matter.” She paused again, still looking at Nica as she tried to come up with an explanation.

“Well, Care-” Lexy began.

“Oh, are you scared of blood? My friend Mia is scared of blood.” Nica looked up with a smile at the sudden explanation, “Yeah, um, looking at blood has made me feel strange recently so I try to avoid it.”

“Well Mia’s starting to get less scared of it so, maybe you will too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I'll be fine with it soon enough.” Lexy looked at Nica then, pity clear in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it, Nica knew that and did her best to give her a reassuring smile in return.

One by one the teens made their way back into the living room and began to settle down around the room before falling asleep. Nica kept her eye on them all, passing the blankets around them, finding anything to keep her occupied and to keep Chucky at bay. By the time the siblings had entered the living room Nica had restarted the movie quietly and was fixed on listing everything she could spot on the screen in an attempt to bore Chucky into submission.

“Hey.” Kyle whispered, pulling Nica’s attention from the screen. “You want a drink?”

“Uh yeah, that would be nice.” Nica responded as she followed them into the kitchen. It was only when they gathered around the small table in the kitchen that she got a look at Andy, his face was littered with multiple scrapes that Kyle must have patched up and he was walking a little slower than before but other than that he seemed okay.

“Are you alright now?” She asked gently as Kyle made them all some tea.

“Yeah, a couple of scratches and bruises but I'll live.” he gave her a smile before continuing, “Are you okay? I thought I heard you mention something about a headache?”

“It’ll be fine, probably just the last of whatever drugs Tiffany gave me wearing off.” Andy continued to look at her, he could see her reluctance to look him in the eye, the way her eyes kept flickering to anything and everything around the room. Andy moved a little closer to her and checked Kyle was still occupied before whispering to her. “The little bastard’s trying to fight you isn’t he?”

Nica looked up at him, shock clear on her face. It couldn’t be that obvious, could it? Is this why Tiffany was so smug? Was Chucky better at controlling her own body than she was?! That thought alone made her skin crawl.

“Hey, whatever’s going on we will help. We will find a way to get him out, I promise.” Nica looked at him with a smile before taking a deep breath, “He can’t regain control unless I see blood, I'm pretty sure. He just likes the sound of his own voice a little too much.”

“Or a lot.” Andy retaliates, drawing a look of curiosity from Nica, “I’ll explain later.”

At that point, Kyle made her way over to the table with three mugs of tea.

“Okay, so what happened?”

“Well, the plan got altered slightly,”

“That much was clear.” Andy turned to see his sister doing her best to remain serious and she scolded him, but there was a clear glint of amusement in her eyes.

“There wasn’t just Chuckys in the truck, Tiffany was inside a doll too. She must have split her soul as well.” Nica instantly turned her head back towards the living room, a reflex, making sure all the kids were still accounted for. “And we have no idea how many dolls she has?”

“No. But I have a feeling not many, possibly only that one. Though it’s usually best to assume the worst with those two.”

“What makes you say that?”

“The dolls didn’t remember me at first, the Tiffany one did but Chucky didn’t. They just kept talking about how I seemed familiar but they didn’t know why. It was only when I killed Tiffany that they properly remembered.”

“So, you think that the more the soul is split, the harder it is for the new ones to remember past events?” Andy looked at Nica and shrugged.

“Should that even be possible?”

“None of this should be possible.” Nica responded instantly “Soul splitting, transferring, it’s all bullshit! When their bodies died they should have gone, just like all of their victims.” She didn’t mean to snap. She knew it didn’t help them in any way. But after everything that had happened the past month; rediscovering that she didn’t kill her family, the possession, Tiffany’s delusions, finally meeting people who knew the truth and understood seemed to have opened the floodgates for her. Just as Nica took a breath to apologise, Kyle spoke up and offered her a small smile. “You don’t have to apologise, we get it.”

“Thank you.” She turned back to Andy, “So, was Tiffany in a good guy doll too?”

“Uh, no. This doll was different. Tiffany had made it look like her so I couldn't tell what the doll was originally. You know the most about her, do you remember anything that could help?”

“Not really, I mean from the time I had to spend with her I'm pretty certain that if she gave one doll a makeover, she would have done that to any she used. She has a very child-like manner about things, especially when they are sinister, she treats it like a game.”

“What about the Chuckys? Did you manage to kill them all?”

“I can’t be certain, once they recognised me they all started getting out of their boxes and trying to attack so I just had to take the first turn I could. It ended up being the overlook and I jumped out of the truck before it went over. It blew up but the cops were already on their way before I could get down there to check so I made my way back here.”

“Good. It would have been fucking stupid to check that on your own.” Andy let out a soft chuckle at Kyle’s response before attempting to cover a yawn.

“We should probably try to get some sleep, facing Chucky and Tiffany on no sleep is one thing, something tells me adding five kids to the mix isn’t gonna make it any easier.”

With that all the adults left the kitchen, Nica made her way back to the study and the sofa bed that was still open. She still didn’t like the idea of sleeping, of not being certain that it would be her who would wake up but she knew it had to happen. So, before settling down she made sure to once again tie her legs together, for her own peace of mind if nothing else.

#chucky #chucky 2021 #child's play #chucky syfy #andy barclay #nica pierce #kyle simpson #junior wheeler #jake wheeler #lexy cross #devon evans #caroline cross #tiffany valentine #charles lee ray #chucky fanfiction #strangeness and charm

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scrapyardboyfriends · 2 years ago

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I miss friendships like Adam and Aaron because they felt like actual friends, though I think the show kind of got lucky because of Adam and Danny’s close friendship, and also Danny seems to have the best on-screen chemistry (platonic or romantic) with actors he is close or friends with in real life (I’ve noticed it with Robron too). We don’t really see that with some of the younger characters as much and imo it comes down to writing mainly, but also acting with some of the characters.

They definitely lucked out with Danny and Adam, though they became friends after they met each other on set. So I guess that could happen for the other kids too. It did with Izzy and Rosie because they came in around the same time so early Gabby and Liv friendship scenes did feel really natural.

In general the teen groups these days are just not as well developed as they were in the past. I mean I think part of the reason the teens don't land as well for me is probably because I'm getting older and more disconnected from that age but I feel like the writers probably are too. I feel like a lot of the writers have been there forever so the average age is probably older now. I think they really struggle with writing modern teens, especially when it gets into the social media area. All of the cyber bullying type stories or anything where all they do is stare at their phones doesn't really work when we're not seeing it. I feel like when April had her whole story we maybe saw one or two posts rather than getting to see things pop up on screen around her like they do in a lot of teen shows these days (or any shows).

Another thing that today's teens really suffer from is a lack of screen time, even when they have bigger stories. For example, in Aaron's first full year, he was in 144 episodes and that wasn't even his coming out story. That started a little towards the end of the year but the bulk of that was in 2010, when he was in 153 episodes. Contrast that to Arthur who was in 26 episodes last year and 28 so far this year and Marshall who has had a more dramatic coming out story with angst but he’s only been in 26 episodes. Cathy who has had a supposedly big story this year that technically was starting at the end of last year has only been in 30 and 27 episodes respectively. And those are the characters with actual story. Even Samson who technically had a big story too was only in 49 episodes last year and only 19 so far this year.

Most of these kids still feel like blank slates because we just don’t see them often enough, not now and not when they were kids either. I mean Robert and Andy were in 57/58 episodes in 1998 when they were 11/12 years old. That’s more episodes than the teens with stories now. Because we just don’t see families together anymore. We don’t see everyday life anymore. The kids just disappear. I mean Angel and Elliot for example haven’t been in more than 6 episodes a year since 2019. Yet Angelica is supposed to be maybe killed in a car crash next week?! I mean care slightly cause I care about Nicola and Jimmy and Angel once had a cute interaction with Robert but otherwise she’s just some random kid we’ve never seen. There's no time for them to be developed as characters with an actual sense of identity or a consistent dynamic with their family and peers. For example, they were building the Robert/Andy dynamic over the course of many years and it remained consistent and layered upon each new thing. These days something will happen like Arthur bullying Archie and then it'll just be dropped entirely and forgotten about (I know that was partially due to Covid but also it was never once mentioned again)

And then there’s the fact that most of this current crop of teens were cast as young children, aside from Marshall. I mean April is still pretty good but she also gets slightly more screen time so she’s slightly more developed as a character and actress. But the rest of these kids…I mean Amelia was great as a precocious child but struggles carrying a bigger dramatic story. Arthur was fine as a little kid saying the odd line or two but his line readings are bit more awkward now. I do think he would have been helped if they’d really tried to get a quality teen actor to play Marshall but Max Fletcher doesn’t really cut it. So it’s just awkward playing against awkward. I mean you’d think the twins who are twins in real life would have more on screen sibling chemistry but…not really. Of course Heath also barely exists as a character so it’s not like they have much to work with.

The other thing I feel like hurts them is that I feel like the previous teen groups were a lot more independent. I do think that could still happen with the Arthur/Marshall/April/Cathy/Heath/Sometimes Elliot group because they're still a bit younger and the Amelia/Samson/Noah group is a bit more independent because they're older. But I feel like Aaron/Adam/Vic/Holly/Daz/Scarlett etc were just running around on their own a lot, in part because their family situations weren't always the best. I mean Vic was being looked after by Andy a lot of the time and Aaron obviously had all his Chas issues and then just had Paddy who was more friend than parent a lot of the time. Adam/Holly/Hannah had a more stable home life but Adam had already left school and was working on the farm. Holly had her art classes at college. Vic and Amy worked at the B&B. Aaron worked at the garage. I feel like we just saw them on their own a lot more doing more grown up things or more independent things without having parents constantly tracking them down and fussing over them. Of course it's important for them to have family dynamics too but it's also important for them to build relationships with each other independently and I feel like that's lacking a bit, also due to the extreme lack of screen time.

So yeah, lack of screen time, lack of every day life to develop the family units and sibling dynamics, actors who were cast very young with no idea if they'd be able to carry bigger stories now and reluctance to recast, writers that feel out of touch with today's teens and then you know the general terribleness of the overall direction of the show right now. It's sad because with so many kids who have grown up in the village entering their teens right now, there could be a lot of good content for them but they really don't do enough with them.

#emmerdale complaints corner

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jodilin65 · 34 years ago

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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1990 I deliberately slept till 8:30 this evening as Andy and I couldn’t have auditioned cuz Andy’s without a car till it’s fixed. Brenda’s also without a car, but tomorrow morning at 7:00, she and Kevin are going to look at a car this guy’s selling for $600. Or, I should say instead, they’re going to pick it up. They’ve already seen the car. So anyway, I made myself sleep long and late to reverse my schedule for a week or so. Then it’ll go back to nights till I want to or need to reverse it again.

I’ll tape Unsolved Mysteries, but I’ll have to miss Hunter. I’m also gonna cancel Martha.

Early in the morning, Brenda’s gonna call me so I can get stamps to mail my mail which is all set and ready to go. Also, she’s going to take me to Food Mart, then when she brings me home I’m gonna do laundry.

Tonight I finished putting up my pictures in a different way and it looks really nice. I also changed the cat box and swept the kitchen floor. After I finish my tea, I’ll listen to some music and do some drawing.

Later…

John isn’t working today. Meanwhile, I tried to get a hold of Dr. Statz, but she’s on vacation I guess for a couple of weeks. I don’t know if I wrote about her but one of the 3 times I was in the ER, she treated me. I’m 100% sure the male nurse, working with her was gay and I’m about 85% sure she was gay. I was just totally touched by her and it was weird cuz she wasn’t overly attractive. There was just something about her, you know, like Linda’s song goes; It’s not that you’re attractive, but oh my heart grew active when you came into view. And I had a crush on her. Sweetie pie.

And ever since then, I haven’t forgotten about her. I can hear God too, saying, “Uh-uh, against the rules.” I think he wants me with someone less attractive so I can learn to look at only people’s personalities. But I’d never be with Brenda if she were a bad person. Maybe another reason God has is that if I get dumped, I won’t be as hurt as much as I would be if I were overwhelmed. I still long for that someone with the character and personality I most desire and to feel that special once-in-a-lifetime sexual spark.

Please, God, please! Answer my prayers. Do it someday very soon. Please. God, what if I made a deal with you right here in this book? And that deal is if I promise to try my hardest to quit smoking, then will you think about it? Also, a beginning break with my singing, then I’ll pursue it from there. I hope you put some big and serious consideration into my requests. If singing and having that special someone and a baby are 3 too many things to ask for, then I’ll understand. I’ll settle for the singing and the special person only and give up the baby without ever asking for anything else.

Later…

Around 9:00 this morning Kevin and Brenda came and got me and dropped me off at Food Mart. Then, I waited a good long exhausting wait while Brenda brought Kevin to Palmer, then back to pick me up. After she picked me up she brought me to Shopper’s where I got a photocopy made of my birth certificate and stamps for my mail which I mailed in the box right outside the store.

While waiting for Brenda at Food Mart I saw Allison. We spoke briefly and she said she’d give me a call soon.

So all my errands are done except for Friday when I get the pigs more food and their big bail of sawdust. I still need to call Philip and John and tomorrow I’m definitely, no matter what, going to go see Paula. Jessie’s probably gonna call today. She’s another one I need to see, and she and Brenda can meet each other.

I finally got back here at 10:30 this morning and I fell asleep till 3:30. I’m exhausted but I’m gonna stay this way so that at 11:00 tonight, after Hunter, I can go to sleep. I better not wake up either, like around 3:00 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep till 6:00 or 7:00, then sleep till mid-late afternoon. I want to be up in the mornings from tomorrow until next Tuesday. That means the next 5 mornings.

Later…

When I got up I made a pork chop and some angel hair pasta and got a call from my sister. Tammy said Ma said to her, “I don’t want Jodi alone for her b-day, Chanukah or Thanksgiving.”

Tammy also said Ma said to drive in and get me in the morning and bring me back the next day. Tammy said she then tried to explain to Mom that it’s impossible with 3 kids, the business, and with Bill working till 6:30 at night. Then Tammy said Ma pulled her typical line of, “Good-bye, Tammy.”

I guess Ma fails to remember that I’m not alone. I’m not single anymore and my girlfriend is fully willing to drive me down this Saturday and for Thanksgiving and also for my birthday and Chanukah which Tammy says she’ll combine into one big party. I mean, Tammy’s right. She can’t up and go drive for that amount of time and it’s pretty strange why Ma’s so concerned about me not being alone for all these things.

I’ve spent them alone before but then again when your own God damn aunt and uncle invite you over for Thanksgiving like they did last year, then conveniently forget to call you and pick you up, that’s not my fault, is it?

Another thing Tammy mentioned is that Ma bragged about all this time she was gonna spend with Tammy, Bill and the kids which turned out to be a joke. Tammy said she wanted to spend the day with me. HA. It was a wonderful hour we had.

All I can say is, I’ve had it with this family shit and I don’t wanna know from nothing. I haven’t had to deal with it for 5 years and I’m not about to deal with it now. Also, I’m not going to Florida either. A week’s vacation isn’t worth a week of her bullshit along with it. I mean, that’s not how my vacation packages or anyone else’s should be. Really, if it were an ad it’d read like this: We’ll give you a week’s free vacation with all expenses paid, but the catch is that you must put up with Dureen O’s bullshit.

Another case of taking the bad with the good. Fuck that!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1990 I wish I was just waking up, but instead, I am wide awake. I slept till 6pm. I’ve been so zonked out cuz I’ve had to be up at a certain time for a certain reason and wasn’t getting enough hours of sleep.

I have many errands to do such as buying pig and cat food. I also need a bail of sawdust, stamps, and to make a photocopy of my birth certificate.

The mouse, who’s getting bigger, is now riding his wheel, and boy is Shadow ever getting big fast.

Andy came over earlier and we made some phone calls to people who had ads in the Advocate to sell things.

Andy’s really upset. He’s having trouble with Miles. Needs to find a job. Needs to pay bills. Got in a car accident which he’s going to have to pay almost $1,000 to fix. It’s not fair that some drunken girl, who did get arrested, slammed into a parked car, then Andy slammed into her, yet Andy’s at fault. He was wearing his seatbelt and the scary thing is, is that if I was in the car, I probably wouldn’t have had my seatbelt on and I’d have gone through the windshield. Who knows how many stitches I’d have to have gotten in my face. There are so many fucked up drivers it’s amazing. And very, very scary, too.

I’m so pissed at myself cuz I just remembered I was supposed to have called Philip 3 days ago, and John, and see Paula.

Later…

I’m writing here on the waterbed and I put the mouse on the floor inside his plastic ball, and Shadow’s having a hell of a time watching him and wishing so desperately to play with him. Or eat him. It’s quite a funny sight to see when he’s in his ball running around with Shadow chasing him. It also was so cute when Shadow was sitting in Toffee’s cage. He doesn’t want to harm the other animals, but he may accidentally cuz his playing may be too rough for them cuz he claws and bites.

Those drawings I did really blew my mind. I never could draw a line on a piece of paper before and I feel good yet weird. It’s like - what’s next? I discover one thing after another I can do. If not perfectly, then better than most.

Here comes Shadow once again to enjoy Gremlin after taking a dump in his shit box.

Me and Andy may possibly go to an audition together early this evening so I hope I get some sleep before then. Right now I’m gonna go listen to music. I haven’t listened at all today. After that, hopefully, I’ll get some sleep, get up early in the afternoon and get my errands done, call John and Philip and maybe even see Paula.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1990 I fell asleep at 5:30 PM after being up 21½ hours and of course, almost an hour ago I woke right up. I was kind of hoping I’d sleep till 5 AM. Anyway, guess what I’m doing today at 9 AM? Taking the police exam. I called Boston after talking to Tony today out here on Locust St. during a car accident. He said the people weren’t hurt too bad and that it had to do with insurance and he was tired of supporting the welfare recipients. So, I mentioned the exam to him and some other cop and they said that maybe the test was canceled due to all the layoffs, and to call Boston and check. When I called, I told the woman I never received my notice and she said that they did have trouble with their mailings and asked me for my social security number. I gave it to her and then she read back my name and address and said it was tomorrow morning at 9 AM. It’s at Converse High on State St. They allow you 3 hours for the test, but you’re free to leave when you’re done. There are 100 questions which means I cannot get more than 30 wrong. She said it’ll be 120 days before they mail me my marks. That’s 4 months, unfortunately, and she says there are around 2000 people taking the test. Lastly, she said to bring a birth certificate, a photo ID, and some number 2 pencils. Brenda took me to Shopper’s Drug where she met Emily and Emily gave me the pencils. Well, I bought them, of course. And a pack of cigarettes like a jerk.

I was going to go to Tammy’s tomorrow but Brenda’s got a visit with her kids she can’t cancel and Bill’s here tomorrow and Monday. Maybe Tuesday. Tammy’s gonna be pissed and I understand that and I’m dying to see Sarah, but this test only comes up once every two years.

Later…

It definitely doesn’t look like I’m going back to sleep so I’ll write for a while. I’ve got a CD playing. Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits. It’s pretty good. I like most of the songs on it. Some are boring.

Tomorrow, after the test, I’ve still got to get pig food and a heavyweight bowl for Tigger. I’m getting pretty sick of him either knocking it over or slamming it up against the side of his cage. I’ve got to get food for Gremlin and Shadow, too. Also stamps and paper plates. And it’s also about time to buy another big bail of sawdust. There’s always something to buy. Such as Gloria’s new record.

I think maybe I’ll go hem some more of those pants Kacey gave me.

Later…

Well, I didn’t hem the pants. One pair didn’t quite fit since I gained weight, but I just took my measurements and I’ve gone down an inch since 3 days ago when I started exercising my ass off and taking Slim-Fast. I did, however, hem an old shirt that was almost to my ankles. I brought it up to mid-thigh length. It came out better than I’d thought but I’ll have Brenda check it out to make sure it’s not crooked. I’m not too thrilled with the way it falls but I’ll ask Brenda.

After I take my shower I’m gonna put another coat of nail polish on and I’m not sure yet what I’ll wear. Something casual. I hope after the test and my errands are done that I can catch a couple of hours of sleep so I can go out to the Halloween party at the Pub tonight. I want to wear my new black lace skirt. Part of me hopes Brenda ends up too tired to go so I can observe others without her observing me observe others. But then again we mutually do look at other women and we’re honest with each other. In the long run, Brenda will never have anything to worry about cuz gay women, of course, are a major turn-off to me in general, and it’s against the rules for me to have someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. At least God allows people to be attracted to me which is nice as long as it’s not major sickos. I mean, everyone gets that here and there, but the good thing is, is that as time goes on I’m having an easier time getting better people even if I don’t quite meet my desired standards.

Ok, time for my second coffee, then my shower.

Later…

Brenda dropped me off at 8:30 this morning, and they made everyone who didn’t get their notice to appear for the test go into a room, and they gave us an “appear” card after checking to see if our names were on the list, and also our photo IDs and birth certificates, in which I’ve got to photocopy and mail to Boston.

They had us print and write our names and they compared them with our signatures on our licenses.

There were several butches there and I got stared down good by guys and butches. This Hispanic girl was sitting next to me. I’m not sure, but I think she was gay with the way she gave me this huge smile and waved at me the second I walked in. I sat next to her and we chatted here and there before the test. She urged me to choose South Hadley for 1 of my 4 choices of cities or towns I wanted to work in. My first choice was Springfield, however, and I had no choice cuz you had to pick, for first choice, the place you lived in for the last 12 months. My second choice was East Longmeadow. I would’ve chosen Longmeadow, but it wasn’t listed. My third choice was West Springfield. My fourth choice was Chicopee.

Another thing was that there were two classroom monitors. One man, one woman. The woman constantly stared at me. I caught her once and her face turned bright red. Then after the test, as I was leaving, I could see her grinning to herself with the same red face.

We didn’t start the test till 9:30 and I finished at almost 12:30. I’m not sure whether I passed or failed. There were some tricky questions that I had to go over and over. I’ll know sometime in February. I am anxious though and never have wanted to speed up time so badly in my life. I usually don’t care about time or wish I could stop it and drop dead.

The landlord will be here any minute to fix the heat. Today and all last night I froze my ass off.

I told Tammy I’d be down next weekend and she said she wasn’t mad and that she understood and to think positive about the test.

After the landlord leaves, I hope I can catch a few hours of sleep so I can go out tonight.

I called Philip and told him about the test and he’s happy about it and he asked me to keep him posted. He also told me to call him tomorrow. I called John too, and he was both pleased and proud. Then lastly, I spoke with Andy.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1990 I’m going nuts just sitting around here, so since I can’t have music, I’ve got to find something. Those dickheads never sent me my notice for the police exam, but I figured as much to begin with. I don’t know who’s responsible, therefore, I don’t know who to call to bitch about it. Oh well, like I said, I figured I’d never be notified just like I knew I’d never get that security job at Mercy with John.

Why is it that anything I’d be good at and want to do I just can’t? It just wasn’t meant to be. If I was smart, a long time ago I’d have chosen a career I hate, never want to have a baby and if I’m ever single again, I’d pick all the ones I don’t want or that are just ok. Actually, they pick me, so I should say.

Later…

I tried calling Philip about the stereo but he’s not at work and not answering his phone at home.

Today, I’m gonna go to Food Mart for cat food, stamps, and paper plates. Also, I want to go to Brightwood Hardware in Longmeadow for pig and mice food.

I’m getting tired as hell but I want to push it as far as I can so I sleep somewhat into the night. With my luck, however, after 3 or 4 hours of sleep, I’ll bolt wide awake and not be able to fall back asleep.

I’m really starting to want to work. I need extra money and this being at home all the time bit is really getting to me. But since I can’t sing or be a cop and am too chicken to drive the cab, what can I do other than McDonald’s or something really boring and stupid?

I’m gonna call apartment rental people for general information about duplexes. I know I can never afford it, but it never hurts to get some information. I’ll go get the yellow pages.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1990 I’m still wide awake and probably will be for a while. I’m just having a grand old time with the new phone. There’s a mute button on it too, and you don’t need to keep holding it down like you do on most other phones. You hit it once and a red light glows which tells you it’s in use, and to discontinue the mute, you hit it again and the red light goes off.

A little while ago I listened to the 45 of the song Take a Chance On Me by ABBA. I bought it today at One Stop Records. I always liked that song and I used to have that record. I don’t know whatever happened to it, along with tons of other records. They either got old or I got sick of them or they were stolen.

Later…

Why, oh, why didn’t I stay the fuck off cigarettes!?! I had 3 cigarettes in 1 week and here I go and smoke a whole pack yesterday and today I’ve had close to a pack. What a jerk, huh? I’m gonna go chuck the rest of my pack, try again till I absolutely can’t fight the urge to smoke, and listen to music.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1990 Well, I’m going to need to go to sleep as soon as possible so in order to help myself sleep, I’m gonna listen to music for a while.

Tomorrow morning I’ve got to call Philip about fixing my stereo. I can’t put it off any longer.

Also, I see Martha at 4:00. I’m not sure if I mentioned it but I think she just may have a thing for me. It’s just this feeling I get and it’s also certain things she says and certain ways she says things. Oh well. Of course, I’ll keep my mouth shut about it. She is married, after all, and she also swore she never mixes business with pleasure and that’s fine and respected by me.

I want to go to Caldor’s too, to see if Gloria’s new album is out. I’m not sure of the name of it and it’s not new songs. They’re all old hits, but they’re in Spanish.

Later…

I just finished killing a spider, which like most spiders, was on the ceiling. I sprayed it with lots of Lysol and perfume to get it down so I could swat it.

Today I got this awesome and I mean totally awesome speakerphone I ordered last week. Now I need to make 4 payments of $22 but it’s worth it. I love it. I can be doing something like writing or making coffee and still talking to someone. Also, I can play people the edits which they can hear well and hear their reactions, and if it’s an answering machine, I can hear it beep when it ends. Another thing too, is if my call waiting beeps, I’ll hear that too.

This insurance company’s got a hell of a long machine. Brenda and I passed it on the way home from Baystate Waste after I saw Martha and I said to myself, “I bet they have a machine.”

By the way, Martha definitely has no desire for a woman. She’s 100% straight as an arrow.

Andy’s got company now so he’s gonna call me later, and Fran’s not home. I’m bored and I love this phone so I may as well go and have a field day with it and look under insurance companies in the yellow pages. It does seem like a lot of insurance companies have answering machines.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1990 Brenda brushed out my hair for me, and God is it getting long. It’s almost to my very lower back and the layers are growing out. The very top layer, though, is completely destroyed. I have massive split ends.

Shadow’s climbing all over me. I think I mentioned before why I changed his name from Bandit to Shadow. He’s like glue. He loves to be near me constantly. Follows me everywhere like a shadow. However, when I go to bed, I shut the bedroom door cuz he always wakes me up.

One thing that’s starting to annoy me is that I’m very bloated. I wanna hurry up and get my period so I drop some water. I don’t want to take my water pill while I’m still finishing up my other medications. I did some exercising and I’m gonna do more later. Also, I’m gonna get more Slim-Fast and eat very little till I drop 10 pounds. It’s funny to say I’m chunky at 105 pounds, but then again I am a very short person, right? It’s not that I weigh too much pound-wise, it’s my shape I guess, I have so much water, too.

I took all my pictures of Gloria down last night. There are only a few in the bedroom. I wanted a change and a break from them so I put them in my file box in my closet. I’ll never throw them out cuz I’ve put so much time and money into them and it’ll be really neat to look back at them someday. Maybe I will put them back up, though, in a matter of months or someday. I still wish I could afford a duplex as I’d make the cellar the music place with the posters, the stereo and keyboards and I wish I had a washer and dryer. By God, I’d love to be able to afford that. I’d have 2 bedrooms, 1½ baths and a dishwasher too, no doubt.

Later…

I’m now watching the premiere of Law & Order. Before this, I saw In the Heat of the Night. Brenda left after Matlock. I put Brenda’s hair in a braid. It looked nice.

I still never got any notification as far as the police exam is concerned. I’m not stupid, though. They’ll never notify me worth shit.

I’m gonna go make some angel hair pasta. It is so good.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1990 I was exhausted before, but as usual, I woke right up. Man, oh man, was I just through a hell of a nightmare since the last time I wrote! I had to go to the ER 3 fucking times and I was terrified! I literally thought I was going to die and it hurt so bad I wished I would drop dead till it was over. I had the worst asthma in my life. They had to take me immediately (usually you wait forever) to give me oxygen treatments, and the last time I had an IV. It was really scary. I could only smoke 3 cigarettes in one week’s time. I’m on Prednisone for 12 days and Bactrim which is an antibiotic for 10 days. Also, I’m on Theodur and Alupent which is the same stuff in my inhaler. Theodur and Alupent are the two most common drugs used for asthma.

I saw Mom and Dad on the 15th and we had a fairly good visit. They came up for about an hour or so. They’re back in Florida now.

I may possibly be going to my sister’s this Saturday. Tammy’s really sick now, too.

Steve and I spliced a wire today so I can edit from the CD player onto the stereo and it sounds great, too. I have plenty of editing to do as well as story writing.

They raised my food stamps to $114, so I did a huge grocery order and I never had so much food in my life, but I really need to lose weight. I’m getting pretty chunky lately.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1990 It’s been one week now and I still feel like shit. Oh well. It also looks like I’m gonna have to cancel going to my sister’s tomorrow. One reason’s cuz I feel like shit and the other’s it’s contagious. I don’t want to stand and just look at my nieces from 3 feet away, I want to hold them and hug them. Tammy mentioned going next weekend if I couldn’t make it this time.

Then I’ll be seeing Mom and Dad on the 15th, and it fucking figures I’m sick so I can’t sing.

Yesterday I got 3 journals at an excellent price. I mean a really fantastic deal. Normally the 3 of them would’ve cost close to $24, but I got them for $12 in the secondhand department. I’m glad I discovered that they sell them there which is weird cuz these books are brand new and just as nice as the regular main part of the store.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1990 Tracy called me and Andy last night. We were both thrilled to hear from her. I played her the edits which she thought were great. She didn’t contact us, she said, cuz she needed space and time to sort things out.

Last night was awful. I was so full of congestion. I never knew one could have to blow their nose so much. It’s red and sore now and I feel much better now that I drained out all that shit so I guess it was worth the misery. Tomorrow, or today I should say, Bill will be here at 1:00 so I hope I can get a little sleep. I had to sleep all day today as I was so miserable. It’s called “sleeping it off.” I’m thankful I feel much better though and also thankful it wasn’t the flu. Anything but the flu. Smoking very little also helped get rid of it quicker but I couldn’t have smoked much if I wanted to. The funny thing is, though, for the last 3 days I really haven’t had much of a desire to smoke. Today I had 5 or 6 and psychologically I still think of it, but the physical part isn’t too bad.

I love this little kitty of mine to death. I’m so glad Brenda got him for me.

Share to Pinterest SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1990 Yesterday, I only smoked 7 or 8 cigarettes. Today, even though I still slept till 9:00 tonight, I’ve had 3 so far. I am very, very congested so that’s part of the reason why I’ve smoked so little. Also cuz I have these sneezing fits and cuz of my wheezing. In 48 hours I’ve smoked only 11 cigarettes so that’s why I’m constantly blowing my nose like there’s no tomorrow. It gets worse before it gets better after you’ve either quit or cut down cuz all that tar and shit starts draining.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1990 Gee, I have exactly 1 day short of 2 months till I’m 25 years old. A quarter of a century.

My new little kitten, which Brenda got me, is sitting here in bed with me and he’s so loving and so affectionate. The one thing you couldn’t do with Sasha was pick her up and cuddle her or have her come to you and let you cuddle her for more than 3 seconds. His name is Bandit. He’s now trying to distract me from writing by rubbing up against my book and me and giving me kisses. He’s fairly gentle with his claws but when he gets a little older I’d like to get him neutered and declawed. You know I hate being clawed when you’re playing with them. I mean they can just sit or stand on you and their claws hurt like hell. Now he’s playing with my hair which all kittens, cats and babies love to do.

Brenda’s cab broke down yesterday afternoon and while she was at the office, the owner’s wife just happened to be giving away kittens, so that’s how I got him. That was yesterday, the day after Brenda’s b-day. He’s 6 weeks old and looks a lot like Sasha, but Sasha was gray and white. He’s orange and white and his hair’s a little shorter. It’s the same pattern as Sasha’s. I think they’re both tabby cats. He’s so loving and follows me everywhere. And he’s pretty calm and gentle, too. He knows how to pee in his litter box, but he’s still going to have to learn not to go on furniture or chew wires.

I have had absolutely no sneezing fits!!!!!!! And this cat is here to stay till death do it part. My mom was right as far as all my problems being due to smoking and I’ve known it too for quite some time but it was just too scary to admit. It’s scary to think of dealing with withdrawal after quitting but my congestion is getting really bad so I’ve had only 7 or 8 cigarettes today.

The pigs were a little jealous and depressed about Bandit, but otherwise, they’re still the usual loving troublemakers.

I bought Brenda a pair of earrings and a pair of sexy underwear for her b-day and we went to her sister Donna’s house in Palmer. And as I mentioned before, I’ve known her husband Kevin for 4 years. He knew Crystal C, too.

Donna’s a great person who anyone feels comfortable with. The type you could talk to about most anything and who accepts people for what and who they are. The kids were great and Donna’s great with the kids too, and I’d have loved to have someone like her as my mother.

Tomorrow, I’ve got to call John R and maybe I’ll try to leave a message with Dr. Goodman’s receptionist for Tracy, but only once. I also have to call Philip and go to Food Mart. Also, I wonder if Kathy will fix my bangs if I call her. She works at Food Mart and she gave me her number. We went to La Baron together. She hated it too, and she only does it on the side. My bangs really look pretty stupid so maybe she can trim and layer them.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 1990 Right now I’m on the phone listening to Fran talk to Bobbie. Andy and I wish to hell Tracy would call us.

I’m turning into a very, very slightly ok artist. Of course, some of my drawings are a wee bit explicit. Guess I’ve been horny lately.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1990 My mother said something astounding. Not only was I shocked, but I also shed a few tears. I called Mom and told her that I bought a little tiny fork and spoon for Sarah and socks for Becky and Lisa. Then I told her that I agreed as far as having money and someone to help as far as having a baby is concerned. But I also told her I didn’t like being told what I should do or should not do at this age.

So I finally asked the two questions of my main concern in blunt plain English. I said, “If I have a child someday, are you going to disown me or call the state?”

She said no. I freaked with shock and joy. I absolutely and totally could not believe it.

Otherwise, no more news going on lately. Just that I had a very nice weekend with Brenda and also Gail and Judy. Gail and Judy are so nice. You feel as if you’ve known them for years. They, of course, don’t turn me on but they’re very attracted to me, so I hear. Also, it’s rather obvious by the way they look at me. Same thing with Bonny. I did their nails for them and also, a couple of weekends ago, Brenda, Judy, Gail and I went to Jam’s. We had fun, and I ran into Tracy there who said she broke up with Nancy. Guess Nancy was an alcoholic and a troublemaker. She seemed a little irritated by talking to me and left with some other girl who seemed slightly offended when I asked her if she was single.

Tracy said she was in California on the 4th of July and was so shocked at how feminine the gay women were there. That’s what she likes, too.

She did tell me to leave a message with my number at this dentist’s office where she works on Maple St. But should I really leave a message which I seriously doubt will ever get answered?

My friendship with Andy has been excellent the last several months and he admitted he was being cruel and selfish for a while and then realized it and didn’t want to lose me as his friend. He was also jealous of my looks and my abilities but instead of being negative he’s encouraging and appreciates what I do.

It’s really too bad his relationship with Miles isn’t doing too great. According to Andy, he’s too clingy and constantly wants sex. Also, cuz Andy didn’t give Miles sex for two days, Miles cheated on him. Andy’s pissed and is on the verge of dumping him. He says, though, he thinks Miles is the way he is cuz his father molested him. Also, he says Miles has a big mouth and blabbed some sexual stuff about him and Andy real loud in Friendly’s. He also talks 10 times more gayish than Andy does.

Tomorrow, I want to go see Paula and get something for Brenda, but I still can’t sleep yet and it’s now 3:17 AM. I was beat before. Sometimes life as a night owl sucks.

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redeyedroid · 1 year ago

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Andy's IPL Team of the Tournament

When I say I watch a lot of the Indian Premier League, I mean it. The time difference and match times fit in with my day really well, and scheduling games so that every match is televised mean I probably watched some or all of about 60 games this year.

I don't really do these very much, but well. As I say, I watched a lot this year. So:

Shubman Gill 890 runs @ 59.33 3 centuries 4 fifties

The best player in this year's tournament. 3 centuries in the last five games go with his stellar start to the international year where he already has centuries in all three formats including a double hundred in an ODI. His height lets him get on top of the ball and means he's utterly brilliant when hitting through midwicket and the covers. He's going to spend a lot of years scoring a lot of runs.

He's now India's best batter and in five years time might be the best batter in the game.

Yashasvi Jaiswal 625 runs @ 48.08 1 century 5 50s

Where Gill made the leap to superstardom this year, Jaiswal announced himself as the next in line. Hitting at a ludicrous strike rate of 163, Jaiswal scored a 13-ball fifty - the fastest in IPL history - and a brilliant 124 in a breakout season that adds to an already dominant start to his red ball career.

The possibility now is that he and Gill will be opening together for India in every format before long; and at 21 and 23 years old, respectively, doing so for a long time.

Virat Kohli 639 runs @ 53.25 2 centuries 6 fifties

An object lesson in optics and how different people are held to different standards.

Kohli saw a lot of criticism this year for perceptions that he scored his runs too slowly, and certainly his strike rate of 139 compares unfavourably with Gill's 157 and Jaiswal's 163. But Devon Conway - lauded for his season yesterday after Chennai's victory in the final - sported an almost identical scoring rate.

The difference is that Chennai won and their middle and lower order batters made valuable contributions and scored vital runs. Kohli's Bangalore teammates did not. So Kohli has been criticised because Kohli is Indian and Conway not; and Kohli is the all-time great and people in India expect stratospheric performance from him every time he bats.

I've even seen people seriously questioning his place in India's team for the ODI World Cup this year, which is even more absurd when you look at his figures and realise that he is quite probably the best batter the format's ever seen and is currently in form.

The two hundreds he scored this year were masterful. The King's back. Enjoy him.

Suryakumar Yadav 605 runs @ 43.21 1 century 5 fifties

Sometimes I think that there are really only three types of Indian batter. The first, for example Cheteshwar Pujara and Rahul Dravid, just like to bat. They don't care about scoring. They just like to bat, and they would do it for years at a time if they could (not for nothing was Dravid nicknamed The Wall).

The next are the Kohlis. The Azharuddins. The Tendulkars. Gloriously pure, elegant, and technically perfect players who - through virtue of playing against the spinning ball in India - play the ball late and with loose wrists, flicking and whipping the ball around the field, for this is the way to prosper against spin on Indian pitches.

The final type hate running and they hate the ball. They want to stand there and hit it into whatever body of water is nearest to the stadium. Ideally, they would score exclusively in sixes. They will not run twos. They will not run threes. Even a four is an ideological failure. Singles allow them to retain strike and are therefore useful, but may only be taken when a ball is mishit and runs to a fielder on the boundary, thus allowing them to regretfully amble from one end of the pitch to the other. They will not sprint because energy is to be conserved and only expended on sending that small red or white ball to whatever hell it is that small red and white balls go. Virender Sehwag and his test average of 47 and strike rate of 82 - in combination incredible for a opening batter in tests - is the spiritual leader of this movement.

SKY has the elastic wrists of the second type and the burning desire to send the ball into low orbit of the third and it is a wonderful thing to watch. He is right now the best batter in T20 and maybe the first true 360 degree player, able to hit any delivery for miles in any direction he wants.

No shot exemplified his approach better than the 6 he hit from the final ball of Mumbai's innings against Gujarat to make his first IPL century.

(Cpt) Hardik Pandya 346 runs @ 31.45 2 fifties and 3 wickets 9.12 economy

In fairness, this should be Rinku Singh and his very fun season of smashing fuck out of the ball at every available opportunity, but we all have our favourites, the team needs all-rounders, and it needs a captain.

Hardik's conversion in the past two years into becoming one of the best leaders in cricket has been surprising to me, but I wasn't paying attention, so perhaps not as much for others.

He should be India's full-time white ball captain and is the second best captain in the IPL after Chennai's legendary, 41-year-old, semi-retired MS Dhoni.

(Wk) Nicholas Pooran 358 runs @ 29.83 2 fifties

This maybe should be Heinrich Klaasen, who scored more runs at a higher average and slightly higher strike rate, but the century he scored was in a losing game and overshadowed by the first of Virat Kohli's tons.

Sunrisers Hyderabad sucked donkey shit this year and while Klaasen made them suck a little less, Pooran won multiple games for Lucknow from losing positions. His 62 from 19 balls against Bangalore was incredible to witness.

We've known about his talent for years. This was the year he began to build in consistency.

Ravindra Jadeja 190 runs @ 23.75 and 20 wickets 7.56 economy

The best all-rounder in the game. Didn't score a lot of runs, but showed his value with the bat by hitting 10 from the last two balls of Chennai's innings to win the final yesterday.

Dominant with the ball, he constantly shows the rest of the world how to bowl spin in T20. Quick through his action and air, always at the stumps, he is a wonder in all formats and also gets marks for possessing one of the great beards in sport.

Rashid Khan 27 wickets 8.23 economy

The best bowler in T20. Not much more to say about him than that. Like Jadeja he attacks the stumps, rushes batters and slows scoring because when he's not taking wickets, he's making batters nervous and unsettled.

He's a very underrated fielder and approaches batting with the anarchic glee of someone who views it as a hobby - he is a bowler first and foremost, but has more than a little talent for timing, which makes him a very dangerous low order batter.

Tushar Deshpande 21 wickets 9.92 economy

A surprising season from a guy no-one was talking about before the season. Became integral to Chennai's victory and whether or not he carries it on it next year, or - at age 28 - ever plays for India, he will always have Paris Ahmedabad.

Mohammad Shami 28 wickets 8.03 economy

Lights out at the beginning of matches. Very good at the end. An economy of 8 an over is ridiculous. Lauded for his technique and bowling action for years, he finally got the rewards his work deserved this year.

He might be the best all-format bowler around right now.

Mohammad Siraj 19 wickets 7.52 economy

You know when you watch someone in sport for the first time and you don't quite know why, but you just like them. The way they go about things. The way they play.

That was me watching Siraj during his debut test series when India toured Australia at the height of pandemic restrictions in 2020/21. India improbably won that series and he was a huge reason why.

There are others who could sit here - Mohit Sharma was incredible until the last two balls of the tournament last night. Arshdeep Singh's future is very bright. But Siraj was the best powerplay bowler in the tournament, consistently taking wickets and restricting scoring. He's gone from being a dangerous, but erratic bowler - the kind of guy who's a solid 3rd or 4th option - to a controlled and hostile new ball threat and he's done it in a relatively short period of time.

I can't wait to see him and Shami against Australia in English conditions next week.

#IPL #IPL 2023 #Cricket #Andy and cricket #Other great cricketing beards today: Moeen Ali; Virat Kohli; Kane Williamson

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insomniactalks · 2 years ago

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1/2 In a recent interview Meg said about working with Matt on s3 that: "most of OUR scenes were together". This doesn't look good for Portwell... What really annoys me is that it means they spent most of EJ's scenes with a character that won't appear in future seasons, instead of the wildcats... It's not even about the romantic ships... give me more of Ashlyn and EJ, or Carlos and EJ... we barely saw these characters interact and this season was a perfect opportunity...

2/2 Also, making most of his scenes with her makes me think that he will probably won't appear in the next seasons... It looks like they're preparing him to leave...

have you read that new interview with meg? she mentioned that most of her scenes and matt's were together- I think it's time we start saying goodbye....(this is another anon but putting these asks t/g)

I answer some of yall’s concerns in this post (give it a read if you can!) Just to clarify for you, anon(s), this is exactly what Meg said in the article, "most of our scenes were together so that was really cool." Just because most of Meg's scenes as Val were with Matt as EJ, doesn't automatically mean most of EJ's scenes were with Val. We have to keep in mind EJ is a main, meaning he's gonna get more screen time than Val (a guest star) and will share scenes with multiple characters. I deff agree I hope to see more Caswell cousins content and EJ bonding with the boys this season. I just love those diff dynamics outside of the romantic relationships, too! For the concerns about EJ sharing “most” of his scenes with Val, I wouldn’t worry too much about that b/c that doesn’t mean the same as Val being the one to share most of her scenes with EJ. Being a guest star, in only 8 episodes spanning 2 weeks, Val won’t be prioritized the way EJ will be as a main character. Sure, we’ll probably be introduced to Val thru EJ, and she may very well cause a ton of drama, but she might also help EJ’s character cont to progress in S3. One last thing that’s not included in my previous post: Don’t underestimate the power of Disney. Zombies 3 and S3 are premiering a week and a half apart. Of course Matt and Meg will have a ton of promo to do for these projects, and it makes sense they’d share a lot of scenes together. We’re gonna see Matt in Zombies 3 first, then see Meg in S3 soon after that. Disney is gonna wanna promote both projects as much as possible (esp in July) so it would make sense Meg had a lot of scenes w/ Matt. I believe they wrapped Zombies 3 last June, then started filming HSMTMTS S3 about 6 or 7 months later. Having Meg and Matt share scenes (in both universes) gives Disney the chance to get ppl hyped about both projects. Remember when Asher Angel guest starred as Jack in S2? And all his scenes were with Sofia (Gina)? Disney gave us a mini-Andi Mack reunion in the best way possible (I missed the Buffy and Jonah banter LOL). We knew Sofia and Asher would probably share most of their scenes together, right? Did that mean the end for Portwell? Did Jack stand in the way of a potential PW relationship? No. Jack was used as a plot device to help further them along lmaooo Isn’t it possible Val may function in the same way? I know she’s in more episodes than him but they’ve already used two plot devices in the form of guest stars to help further develop Portwell. I wouldn’t be surprised if Val/Meg serves the same kinda role in S3.

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years ago

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Lightyear (2022)

I’m sad to say Lightyear sort of set itself up for failure from the beginning. The Toy Story quadrilogy is probably the greatest of all time. Trying to live up to that legacy without Tim Allen while taking a gag-born character and making him the protagonist of a serious adventure was probably too much to ask anyone. Paradoxically, those who don't get hung up on continuity and nostalgia will enjoy this spin-off the most.

While exploring a hostile world, space ranger Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Chris Evans) accidentally damages his ship, marooning its crew in the process. Desperate to get everyone home, he begins experimenting with hyperspace fuel. Each attempt plunges him four years into the future and further from his commanding officer and best friend, Alisha Hawthorne (Uzo Aduba), but he doesn’t care… until one test lands him in a present under siege by Emperor Zurg (James Brolin) and his army of robotic drones.

We're told this is the movie Andy from Toy Story saw in 1995; the one that birthed the toy he came to love so much. This doesn't quite add up because Lightyear isn't convincing as a film made 27 years ago. Even if we’re ignoring the dazzling CGI animation and the racially-diverse cast, this doesn't feel like the Toy Story universe's equivalent of Star Wars. The space ranger armor we’re used to seeing only shows up at the very end of the film and Buzz’s personality is completely different from the one we saw when Tim Allen’s Buzz first landed. On the upside, Zurg’s personality, look, and background have changed so if you think you know where the plot is going because you saw Toy Story 2, you’re wrong. Speaking of Zurg, once we find out what we do about him, I’m not entirely sure all of his actions make sense…

If we just judge this picture as its own thing, we get a pretty good sci-fi adventure for kids. It might take you a bit to warm up to Sox (voiced by Peter Sohn), the robotic cat that is Buzz’s companion, but he gets to be pretty funny. As for the people Buzz teams up with in the besieged future, they’re all distinct with well-defined personalities. As the Space Ranger deals with Izzy (Keke Palmer), Mo (Taika Waititi) and Darby (Dale Soules), he learns to become a leader and a better person, which sets him up to confront his biggest opponent: his own inability to move on. The fact that Zurg comes to literally represent this weakness is good writing.

Even when the people at Pixar don’t blow us away, the results are still above the industry average. Young viewers will appreciate the humor, won’t see the familiar story elements coming, and might even fall in love with this story's ample action scenes the way Andy “did”. Regardless of who watches, this is a visual spectacular. The backgrounds, character models, textures and sophisticated lighting/special effects reminding us once again of how long it has been since the first fully computer-generated film was released.

Lightyear may be a one-and-done, maybe even a letdown for those who grew up with Toy Story but it consistently entertains during its running time and its target audience will have a blast. The box-office returns likely mean we won’t get a sequel but the film teases one during the very very very end of the credits, so stay tuned for that. (August 6, 2022)

#Lightyear #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Angus MacLane #Matthew Aldrich #Jason Headley #Chris Evans #Keke Palmer #Peter Sohn #taika waititi #dale soules #James Brolin #Uzo Aduba #2022 movies #2022 films #Pixar #Disney

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theoldguard-recs · 3 years ago

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Hi. Do you have any fic with Joe and Nicky as parents?

Hi there! Mod: CactusDragon517 here! I got really excited the other day when I saw your ask because I LOVE AUS so much and I had one that IMMEDIATELY came to mind. As ever, please mind any and all author tags for any fic we recommend. I hope you like the ones I’ve linked here!

All on my own by TerresDeBrume

Closing his eyes, Niccolò leans his head back against the sofa and wonders how today went to shit so fast. They were supposed to have a nice day together. Celebrate their first anniversary with Sébastien by having him finally meet Andy and Quynh in person—Yusuf’s parents usually aren’t free this time of the year, but they’re coming to visit during Sébastien’s Christmas break. There was going to be Niccolò’s best risotto and an apple cake, and it was going to be great. Instead, now, they have this.

Or: the Al-Kaysani-Genovesi-Le Livre household's very harrowing day.

Tags: Alternate Universe: Modern setting, Kid fic, depression, past depression, past religious extremism, Kid Booker | Sébastien Le Livre, happy ending, found family, suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempt (offscreen) Pairings: Joe/Nicky, Andy/Quynh Rating: Teen and up Word Count: 20,114 Why I love it: So! I know that those tags are probably not what you expect to see on a kid fic rec post but hear me out: The way that TerresDeBrume writes kid!Booker is marvelous, especially a kid with these big heavy feelings. This AU is dense and layered and every single time I read it, I gain something new from it. Please mind the tags and the end notes, as they are relevant, but I think this fic is such a fascinating world and such a beautifully wrought snapshot of a family that’s as complicated and complex as the one we see in the movie. @terresdebrume is on tumblr as well and has written a couple of other fics for The Old Guard!

Fireproof by goldheartedsky

Nicky’s life is currently balanced like a house of cards. Sure, he’s a twenty five year old single dad, working fifty hours a week minimum wage to support his six year old son, and lives on a steady diet of coffee and day-old donuts, but he’s happy. He loves his life more than anything in the world and wouldn’t change a thing.

Until his hot new neighbor Joe moves in across the hall and it all comes crashing down.

Tags: Alternate Universe: Modern Setting, single dad Nicky, Artist Joe, friends to lovers, parental bonding, first kiss, emotional baggage, emotional hurt/comfort, found family, trust issues, happy ending Pairings: Joe/Nicky, Andy/Quynh Rating: Teen and Up Word Count: 56,632 Why I Love It: OKAY, CONFESSION TIME: I haven’t finished reading this fic. I keep meaning to but real life really dealt me a sucker punch at the end of 2020 (and, y’know, a large part of winter 2021) and I lost track. HOWEVER. I read the first 5 or 6 chapters and was captivated because I cannot tell you how few times I have read and felt the struggle of being a single parent the way that goldheartedsky writes it. Nicky’s struggles are so real and so realized that it’s gorgeous. It feels...gritty, in a way. I’ve started rereading it and I love how the interplay between all the characters feels like a quilt just coming together. SO while I haven’t read the whole thing (imagine my delight to see it’s (A) finished and (B) THERE’S A SECOND ONE??!!), I do think that this is a gorgeous read, just from what I read of the beginning. @goldheartedsky is on tumblr and has written other fics for The Old Guard!

Between Us Two by mehm

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Nicky says.

“Okay, sure,” Joe says, looking like he’s ready to bang his head against the wall. “Because it looks like you just kidnapped our neighbour’s babies, Nicolò.”

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Introspection, angst, Kidfic Pairing: Joe/Nicky Rating: Gen Word Count: 4,820 Why I Love It: Okay, this isn’t strictly Joe and Nicky being parents, but I think that it counts because it shows what downtime for Joe and Nicky can look like at times. Nicky with his big heart and Joe with his vibrant soul deciding, we can make a difference here. It’s a sweet, sweet fic but it has some melancholy moments in the way that you would expect. My favorite way to think about this one, in particular, is thoughtful. It gives such care to how these men think about things and, in this instance, children. I could not find anywhere if mehm was on tumblr or not, but mehm has written more for The Old Guard on AO3!

A Matter of Choice by Fadagasaki

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice." - William Jennings Bryan.

When Paolo reaches out online for advice as a single father of his miraculous baby daughter, he receives a reply from a fellow single father living in the Netherlands.

Tags: Slow burn, single parents, Il Padre d’Italia, Hartenstraat Pairing: Paolo/Daan Rating: Teen and Up Word Count: 46,992 (and still going!) Why I Love It: Okay, okay, okay. Hear me out: I know that TECHNICALLY, this is not Joe and Nicky. I know that it may also not be what you’re looking for, but I feel like I HAVE to rec it. This fic is WONDERFUL. It’s wonderful and so well done that you don’t have to have seen either movie to understand it - single father Paolo reaches out and gets help from single father Daan. It’s incredibly slow burn but it’s so well done and I love that it feels like a facet of Joe and Nicky, to be honest. Fadagasaki does a great job of grounding it within the fandom at large and the movies themselves. My vote is to always give a chance and I hope you do! I could not find anywhere if fadagasaki is on tumblr, but they have written more for The Old Guard on AO3!

#mod: cactusdragon517 #the old guard #joe #nicky #joe/nicky #kid fic #rec list #<5k #<25k #<50k #<60k

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wickedpact · 3 years ago

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A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

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whateveryousay04 · 2 years ago

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I just finished watching Midsommar (2019) for the first time and I spent a little bit of time watching YouTube videos about the film and I saw one particular person who kept commented that Christian(the boyfriend of the protagonist) was abusive and I seriously can’t stand such a claim.

I have been thinking about how for a while now, I have noticed that people on the internet will defend others people who said something that let’s say, doesn’t depict their current or more often past partner as the best fairytale by calling the partner toxic when maybe they do not know what even happened at all. While sometimes I see the bad in the other andI could even call them a red flag, I do not just throw around that word unlike others who say it at the littlest misunderstanding and I know very well that relationships and people aren’t perfect and everything needs to be worked on. Some things aren’t even bad, the person just wanted it to be different.

In a few words, people will 50-70% side with the person of which they see the point of view only and that is common also in arts such as music(video or lyrics), performing arts(cinema,television,theatre), written text, audiobooks, painting and sculpture representations even. Unfortunately many side with the protagonist regardless and rarely we see people seeing some sense in the actions of other characters. Unsurprisingly,it happened in this film too but what I do not understand is that as much as Christian was not the main character, he still was one of the most important ones and we got to see a ton of him.

And what have we seen from him?: That he has been doing as much as possible to help his girlfriend from the literal beginning of the film and even when he wanted to break up with her, he cared for her and had the intention to help her get over her though time for at least a bit before breaking up with her. The only 2 mistakes from him were not telling her directly that he was going on a trip beforehand and not cover her eyes when the village was sacrificing the 2 elders (but I understand that he was shocked himself and I was actually quite angry that the other friends didn’t move either,but they were all probably traumatized in that moment). He always cared for her and her well-being. The only thing that was putting their relationship at risk was that Dani was starting to become a lot for him to deal with. He obviously knew that it wasn’t her fault and helped her but it seems like it was by then a “normal” thing that happened and he has a mental health to maintain too. Didn’t we start talking more about how it is valid to not have to help others with their mental illness 24/7 ,especially when they didn’t ask beforehand and drop everything without thinking that the other should at least be aware that they are about to start talking about a certain topic that could be upsetting or triggering to some people? Not everyone can and should be a therapist to others! The same way she was suffering of trauma , he was suffering of burnout.

Christian was always there for her and he is actually a goal partner. Just because he didn’t love her as much as before or because he is a human being like her with a mental health to maintain and not a machine, it doesn’t mean that he was uncaring of Dani at all! He even asked her to come with him and his friends and tried to stick with her anytime to make her feel comfortable. “You don’t have to do this” “It’s fine, I can come with you” “I will accompany you to this walk” “Do you want me to come?” He literally said stuff like that at least 6 times in the film!

Christian was one of the most caring boyfriends I have ever seen portrayed on the screen and he deserves recognition for that. Get yourself a partner like him.

I will absolutely not accept any Christian Huges slander by anyone who is forcing the vision of him as a villain just because he wasn’t the dreamy fairytale boyfriend with no character and feelings of his own and not exclusively of his girlfriends’ and simply was maybe the right person at the wrong time or just not the right person (but definitely one of the best!) for her like Dani’s friend mentioned at the beginning of the film. I actually like that both Dani and Christian took consideration of the other even though everything was a bit messy. She knew that everything was too much for him to handle and that if anything, he might not be the perfect match for that matter because soon or later, he will also have a limit like her. Her friend didn’t even put it in a passive way, she said the truth. They wouldn’t even need to do some kind of “fight” because there wouldn’t be any hard feelings aside from malinchony.

Also, if the whole Midsommar sacrificial rites didn’t happen and it was more…less sacrificial, maybe they could have continued their relationship until a possible engagement in the future (1+ years) or she would have at least came back with a fresher mind. Because he definitely stood with her until the end and she quite recognized that from him. They definitely both wanted to continue the relationship.

-I dislike that he tried to steal his friends’ idea as soon as he saw how unorthodox and interesting everything was but I don’t blame him for being a student and take the opportunity as soon as he found it. He was a bit dictating to his friend tough.

-Some people will say that he forgot about her birthday by it may be a cultural vision from me but it isn’t a huge matter at all. Maybe it would have been nice but as he said himself, there was a lot going on in that period of time and he was clearly stressed too. Forgetting a date isn’t abusive.

#midsommar #midsommar 2019 #florence pugh #jack reynor

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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago

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OK, I know this will probably be painful, and I may be a bad mutual for asking but...would you be willing to identify what, in your opinion are the bottom five worst Shadow adaptations, and give a detailed breakdown of why they were so lousy?

Oh christ, okay. I don't think you're gonna get as much of a detailed breakdown for these compared to some of the others, because I take more issue with adaptations that do have good qualities but also big or deep problems to talk about.

For example, I can't include Garth Ennis's Shadow in this list because the comic has a lot of strong points to it, despite a deeply, deeply detestable take on The Shadow's character, where as the rest of the Dynamite run doesn't reach neither the lows or highs of his run. Likewise, Andy Helfer's run has a couple or a couple dozen moments every issue that make me want to tear something to shreds in frustration, but it's also at many points a really good comic with great art and some occasionally very inspired writing. Really, I'd just be repeating myself talking about what I hate in those.

But, fine, let's list some of the others.

I think I'm just gonna have to get the elephant in the room out of the way here, and address that I won't be including Si Spurrier's 2017 Dynamite mini in this list, and I think at least some of you might be angry it's not Number 1 by default. I'm doing this because I intend to one day really revisit it, think about it and it's reception and what it was trying to do, and talk about it on it's own, now that it's been 5 years and everyone has moved on and we can maybe talk about it without kneejerk hatred driving everyone nuts (your mileage may vary on how warranted it was).

I'm also not going to be talking about James Patterson's new novel, because I haven't read it. It seems to be considered a forgettable potboiler by mainstream critics and a resounding failure by everyone who likes the character whether they've read the book or not, and frankly I don't have it in me to learn what the fuzz was about anytime soon, I got my hands way too full as is.

And I won't be including the Batman x Shadow crossovers here, because again, they do have a lot of virtues that put them far ahead of some of the really worst Shadow media, and I've talked enough about how badly I think they mangled The Shadow, which is really the big problem I have with them (well, that and Tim Sale blatantly copying a Michael Kaluta cover, that was really shitty). I don't really hate them anymore, I just get tired and frustrated thinking about parts of them, I said my piece as is. Really, my frustration over this comic is what inspired me to start writing about The Shadow here, so I guess in a way I do owe it at least that much.

5: Archie Comics's Shadow

I think some of you might be wondering why this isn't ranked higher, but to be honest, I don't actually harbor any hatred towards this. I mean, I have to include it, but I find it kinda silly that some people even today actually care about the existence of this comic enough to hate it.

For fans back then? Oh yeah, obviously, but this dropped to such instantaneous backlash that it never really got to live past 6 issues. Really, everything wrong about it can be understood immediately from the covers, and I've actually read the comic in it's entirety to see if there was anything worth taking. I found only a couple of things of note but, no, this really is just a painfully mediocre superhero comic that happens to have a couple of Shadow names in it. If anything, it gets too much credit.

The actual contents of what it is are never going to justify it's reputation, but the existence of it and the disproportionate response to it is the funniest and most enduring legacy it could ever ask for. This whole comic is The Shadow's version of Spongebob's embarassing Christmas photo.

4: David Liss's The Shadow Now

This is another "The Shadow as an immortal in modern times" comic and I think you may have noticed the pattern with those by now. I may revisit this eventually and I do have some moments from it saved for reference, but overall: It sucks, and it doesn't even suck in a way that lets me talk much about it, it's a diet version of Chaykin's Shadow. If Archie's Shadow is a generic mediocre superhero comic wearing The Shadow's name, this is a generic crime story playing beats from movie. The Shadow is an asshole and not even a grandiose or sinister one, he just feels like a sleazy douche in a costume. The art is a 50/50 coin toss between appropriately moody and "Google images with a filter on them", I don't remember anything about the plot other than Khan had a bomb again and he had a daughter, and there were new versions of the agents and the Harry stand-in turned evil and Lamont shacked up with Margo's descendant which, uh, no. I don't really hate this but I really have nothing nice to say about this comic other than Colton Worley's art is nice sometimes. I can't really muster anything else to say here.

3: Invisible Avenger

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...uuh, wha-

Yeah, I remember nothing about this one other than it's painfully boring and nothing about it, nothing at all, works in the slightest and I drift off to sleep even now trying to give this a rewatch. To be honest pretty much every other Shadow serial not starred by Victor Jory sucks and I don't really have anything to say about them, this one is just the worst of the lot. I dearly wish there was a good Shadow tv series but, if it was going to be like this pilot? Good riddance.

2: Harlan Ellison's The New York Review of Bird

This isn't really a Shadow story as much as it's a Harlan Ellison story that happens to feature The Shadow, but man am I glad that Ellison's "Dragon Shadows" was canned, because holy shit what a goddamn nightmare Harlan Ellison writing The Shadow for real could have been, going purely by the one time he ever touched the character. New York Review of Bird is a purely farcical parody story that wears real, real thin even before "Uncle Kent" shows up, and we get to see in it what is by far the most detestable and irredeemable take on The Shadow ever put on print, and not even in a critique or deconstructive way or anything that could be remotely worth discussing.

I don't hold any particular affection for Harlan Ellison and his writing (despite liking some of it) and I've come to notice the major red flag that is finding someone who looks up to Harlan Ellison in any capacity as a person, and this story in particular really feels like Ellison aggressively trying to channel his jackass tendencies through every line, just him being nasty because he built a personal brand on being nasty. The only reason this isn't Number One is because it's a very short story that saw zero influence or reputation, and thus it only exists as a brief mention in The Shadow wiki, and a brief mention is all it really calls for.

1: Howard Chaykin's Blood & Judgment

I'm guessing most of you already knew this one was in the top spot before I started writing.

I would actually rather not write a big piece on Blood & Judgment, because I think (or at least I hope) it's influence on The Shadow has waned a lot over the years and I would prefer to draw it the least amount of attention possible, but if I HAVE to talk about this, I guess I'd rather just vomit this out of my circuits now instead of giving it it's own post.

I would prefer to use a less unpleasant image on my blog, but if I'm going to talk about this comic, there's no image to better convey it than this drawing of macho asshole Cranston holding a sexualized mannequin at gunpoint. By leaps and bounds, Blood & Judgment is the most misogynistic Shadow story I've ever read. It's ironic that Chaykin justified the rampant misogyny he gave The Shadow with the idea that this is just a man from the 30s would act like, when he admits in the same breath that he never even touched the stories, and he wrote a story more sexist and demeaning to it's female characters than anything, literally anything, written in the Shadow pulps. It's almost impressive even.

I'll paste some segments from Randy Raynaldo's review

In Flagg, he intended to present his own point of view on American society while keeping his work tongue in cheek and acessible. But this vision dimmed, and Flagg had become a vehicle by which Chaykin could play out fetishes and portray gratuitous and stylish violence.

In The Shadow, stripped of the political and social veneer which was supposed to make Flagg unique, Chaykin's sensibilities and excesses become disturbingly apparent. For all of his liberal posturing, Chaykin's work demonstrates zero difference from the same kind of mentality exploited and made popular by similarly violent popular culture icons like Dirty Harry and Death Wish.

More than half a dozen individuals are indiscriminately and violently murdered in the first issue. Although the victims are characters who played major roles in the myth of The Shadow, we feel little sympathy for them, even for those of us who knew these characters at the outset. Who dies is unimportant, it's how they die that is the fascination.

Chaykin uses sexual decadence as a means by which to establish villains, and undercuts this device by making the protagonists as promiscuous as the villains. For all of Chaykin's seemingly liberal leanings, he demonstrates very little sensitivity in his portrayal of women.

Because everything works on rules of three, this comic also follows the pattern with other works mentioned here, as this isn't Howard Chaykin writing The Shadow: it's The Shadow reimagined as a Howard Chaykin character. He looks and acts exactly like Reuben Flagg and the typical macho protagonist of Chaykin's other works, he's a cynical sleaze with an entirely new origin who half-assedly dons a garb to machine gun people, and I already wrote a separate piece on why the machineguns are kind of emblematic of everything wrong with this take.

I understand that Chaykin has, or used to have, a big following of sorts, and I've tried to wrap my head around this for years, but I genuinely still don't get why Shadow fans stomach this comic unless they happen to be Chaykin fans first and foremost, I really don't. Everything, fucking everything Shadow fans hate about modern depictions of the character can be traced right back to this. The parts that stuck and changed the character for the worse, like him being defined as an immortal, bloodthirsty warmonger who got all his skills and powers from a magic city in Tibet, or Lamont Cranston being a coward who fears and hates the Shadow, or his agents being expendable slaves, stuff that has been ingrained into the mythos through this and the Alec Baldwin movie and other comics, to the point that people now think of it as the norm, that it's the baseline of what The Shadow is, and I hate it, I genuinely fucking hate it,

I hate it so much that it's a big part of the reason why I created this blog and why I want so badly to get to write The Shadow, because I plainly couldn't stand not having ways to tell people that this is all wrong, that this is actively shooting down the character's odds for success, and that they are missing out on something really great, because the well has been tainted with garbage that won't go away and everytime I read the words Shambala in a Shadow comic, even an otherwise good or great one, I get just a wee bit cross.

The only semi-redeeming aspects I can think of for this comic is one or two cool moments, like when The Shadow hijacks a concert using his Devil's Whisper or when he tames dogs with a stare. Just breadcrumbs of "not garbage" amidst an ocean of anything but. I hate that talking about why I hate this comic in-length can almost feel like I'm still enticing people to check it out of curiosity, but if you wanna do that, fine, just know this: The worst part of Blood & Judgment, even if you don't care at all about what it did to The Shadow, is that it's boring.

It is a deeply boring comic. If you like Howard Chaykin to begin with, you'll probably like this okay (although even Chaykin fans told me that this is his weakest work and that even he seems to agree). If you don't, I plain don't see what you could get out of this.

The comic itself is just nothing. It's the comic book equivalent of a pre-schooler trying to get a reaction by swearing. It has nothing whatsoever other than half-assed attempts at shock value. The plot isn't there, the ideas are stale, the dialogue is needlessly oblique and comprised entirely of unfinished sentences, interrupted conversations and one-liners without build-up. The characters are all unlikable and uninteresting stooges with no personality, or joyless cartoons. There's no heart or emotion or logic, and it isn't even funny enough to succeed as just an outrageous exercise in 80s excess. There's nothing in here.

I get "why" it was popular enough at the time, a rising star creator penning a modern revival of an old character based on controversy that pissed off the old fans, it's an old story that still gets repeated today. But manufactured controversy is not a replacement for storytelling and it rarely ever exists to benefit the people who actually want to enjoy the stories, it only benefits those for the crude benefit of those who want to sell you something out of the controversy.

I guess they got their money's worth back then.

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Phew, okay, I did it, I finally vomited out a piece on Blood & Judgment and some others, allright, let's put this piece of negativity behind us now.

#replies tag #the shadow #pulp heroes #shadow comics #shadow films #dc comics

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