#this man is NOT a responsible drunk
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alessio might've box dyed his hair while on a bender after the island trip.
#alessio#who's complaining ab the hair? NOT me#this man is NOT a responsible drunk#he'd never admit it but#he fell a little for cami back there#who woulda THUNK#(;へ:)my poor baby#the sims 3#sims 3#ts3#simblr
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he was 100% about to say “nothing compared to you,” I cannot be convinced otherwise. this man is slippin
#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#tavstarion#baldur's gate 3#my playthrough#my captures#veryn#asteryn#bloodpeach#🩸🍑#male oc#male tav#considering he’s essentially vampire drunk here this conversation is so interesting#all his responses are so funny#like the worst and best parts of you that randomly bubble up during conversation when drunk#no filter#He keeps forgetting to be fake#I do genuinely think tav is like his only friend at this point#the passive dialogues I got today???#they hate my man rn 😂😂😂#he probably is actually so happy to see you so he can brag about his bear dinner
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I have an idea for the lawyer au. Inspiration from Boston legal season 8 episode 9.
A girl, make her young like sprite, comes to Gil one day and asks if he is a lawyer and if he can help her. Gil thinking she is being a kid jokingly asks how much money she has and when she answers 10 bucks her father comes and wants to take her with her. But she holds onto Gil and says please help me, if I go back to Poland they’ll force me to marry a man in this country. in this moment he realizes it’s a serious matter and protects the girl. At the end of this case it’s a very depressing situation for him. Thena is there to gently lift him up
Im sure you’ll manage to do something with it
"Gil."
Gil didn't even pick his head up. He was all but sleeping in his mug of guinness. "Gil's not here."
Thena didn't let him get away with it. She did pat his shoulder with some sense of pity for him. "Come on, Gil. It's well past midnight and you have another court date tomorrow."
He groaned at even the mention of going into court again. He didn't know if he had it in him after his day today. "I'm not going back there."
Thena shuffled her purse on her shoulder and perched herself on the stool next to his. "You don't mean that."
"I do," he huffed, pushing the goblet away with distaste. All he could smell was the thick, sweet stench of it. "And I should have punched that judge in the face."
"It wouldn't have changed the ruling," she pointed out in a very Thena way. "Unless you want to be barred from practising law for a year, if not the rest of your life."
He shrugged. He wasn't sure how he felt about the law after today. He had always thought he was on the side of the good guys, as cliche as it sounded. Sure, the law was far from perfect, but he really thought he was doing some good with his job.
"You did everything you could for that girl, Gil."
He scoffed and rubbed his eyes. The dim lighting and loud music of the bar were making his vision blurry, and all he could taste in the back of his throat was cheap beer. "Is that what you call letting her get shipped back to Poland to get married to some old creep?"
She was a kid, no older than Sprite. It was a sickening 'case', no matter how sudden or pro bono it had been. She had even offered to pay with the only 10 dollars to her name, kept safe inside the birthday card it came in and everything. But none of it had done any good.
"We don't win every case, Gil."
"Well, you'd think this one would matter more!"
A few heads turned. He had been quietly sulking at the bar for hours, by this point, enough beers in that the bartender was beginning to eye him every time he asked for another.
Thena didn't even flinch.
Gil groaned again, scrubbing his face with his hands even though he'd been touching the bar that was cleaned only god knew when. He sighed, "I'm sorry."
But she understood his outburst, maybe even condoned it. "It's okay. I can't say I blame you for coming here and burying it under...how many is it now?"
More than he wanted to admit to. So, instead, he ruffled his hair and attempted to pull himself up in his seat with some dignity. "Doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure he's cut me off quietly anyway."
The bartender turned around, ears already burning and a towel slung over his shoulder. "Time to pay up, Boston Legal?"
"Very funny," Gil snarled at him. He knew it wasn't this guy's fault he'd had the worst day of his entire career, but that didn't mean he was in any mood for it. He slapped his hands over his jacket, his rumpled tie and then his suit pockets. "Shit."
"Oh come on, man, you're a lawyer, I know you've got-"
"It's okay, I'll pay it," Thena held her hand up, already reaching into her purse.
"Fuck," Gil cursed, hanging his head (as if he needed any more reason to be ashamed of himself tonight). He misjudged the distance, even knocking his forehead against the counter edge. Maybe it would be a little sobering, if he was lucky. "Thena, you don't have to-"
"It's okay," she assured him yet again, but she was still sounding more like 'work' Thena than the Thena had come to know and prefer.
Gil watched as the bartender took her card to close out his tab. He couldn't get any more pathetic anyway--what was a little more humiliation? "What are you doing here? Are the girls okay?"
Thena finally smiled at him, and it was the real Thena he saw, no matter how blurry. "They both asked to have sleepovers tonight. It's rare, but tomorrow is a half day at school, so I dropped them both off. When I asked how you were, the response wasn't all that clear, so I figured I would try here."
Gil made a face. He didn't remember talking with her. He felt around again for his phone, which he didn't so much pull out as clumsily drop it onto the bar. He blinked a few times, really trying to focus on reading his messages.
She had texted him, asking if he was doing okay and where he was. His response was a jumbled mess, but he unfortunately could make out something resembling him telling her that he was going to drown himself in beer and that she could join if she wanted.
He couldn't even remember reading, let alone responding to it. He really did need to be cut off for the night. He wasn't young and in college anymore--he would probably have a hell of a hangover tomorrow morning (afternoon).
Thena nodded as her card was handed back to her, Gil's debt settled. She turned back to him, "think you can walk?"
He grumbled. If he wasn't already, he would flush with guilt at the insinuation. "I'm not that bad, Thena, really."
She was kind to say nothing about him wobbling a little as he got up at first. But he made it to the door easily enough with her behind him. Maybe he did need a little hand on his back, but as soon as he was out in the cold night air it was at least a little better.
Thena pulled her jacket tighter around herself. She should have been at home, relaxing during her kid-free-evening. She could have been curled up reading or watching that funny ghost show she liked with a glass of wine or a mug of tea or something. Instead, she was picking up his drunk ass from a dive bar a block away from work.
"I'm sorry, Thena," he began apologizing, for the first time of many, he told himself. He owed her plenty more, and that was beyond his bar tab, which he would pay back with interest, too. "I just...that kid-"
He pushed his nose deeper into the soft material of her white turtleneck. The cotton or cashmere or whatever it was soaked up his tears. "She was just a kid."
Thena probably didn't consider herself a hugger, but she gave really nice ones. She was really gentle, and soft, and even if she was small boned, she still felt warm. Even in her boots, she was up on her toes just slightly to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling his face into her shoulder. "I know it's terrible. But you did everything you could, and we're just going to have to live with that."
"I know." Thena did know--she had sat in for the final leg of his plea. She had witnessed his loss and she had been the one to restrain him from mouthing off to the judge presiding and possibly losing his license. "It's not fair."
"What are we doing?" he asked, even hiccuping faintly as he closed his arms around her as well. He was a mess, probably stank of beer, and he shouldn't have been here in the first place. But he melted into Thena's good graces, letting her absorb some of his misery for him. "What good is any of this if I couldn't protect her?"
"That wasn't your job today," Thena whispered to him, and it felt as if it was right next to his ear. "Your job was to argue for her in her place, and you did that. You fought with all you had. But the law wasn't on our side, today. And there will be more days like this."
He knew that. He'd had hard cases before, lost cases before. But never anything like this. He'd had his faith in the judicial system and the court system and the social work system waver before--it came with the job. But now he wasn't sure how he was ever supposed to go back to work again.
"You lost a case, and it's never easy. But what that girl's parents are enforcing is not your fault."
It sure fucking felt like it was. Gil could still remember the look on the kid's face as it sunk in that it really was over, that they had lost and that her parents had every right to drag her back with them. He had handed her back the card with her birthday money in it, unable to accept it after their defeat.
"Come on," Thena leaned back, putting a hand on his cheek, probably checking his eyes to see if he was sober enough to make it back to his car. If she even called him an uber and watched him slump himself into it, it would already be more than he deserved.
"Yeah," he cleared his throat, swallowing the lump in it. He looked around the parking lot, increasingly empty by this time on a work night. "I, uh, left my car back at work. It's probably where my wallet is, a-actually. I should-"
"We can get it tomorrow, Gil," she cooed in that melodic voice of hers. She insisted it was like cold, hard ice, but he thought it was gentle and elegant, like a curtain dancing in a window.
"I've gotta get home," he all but whimpered. What a wet blanket he was being, but whatever. He pulled out his phone again, attempting to find an uber she could toss him into and be rid of him.
"I know, come on," Thena pulled at his arm gently. And when he stumbled anyway she leaned closer, letting him rest his big, meaty shoulder against her little one. "I'll get you home."
He just stared. She looked really pretty in the streetlight glow, all blurry at the edges like it was a dream sequence in a movie. "You didn't have to come and get me."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Was I to leave you drowning in your beer?"
It would be a fitting end, at least. But he shrugged, leaning on her as little as he could afford as they made their way to her car. "You shouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of my shit."
But she shouldered him easily, getting him to the passenger door first and unlocking it with her fob. "We have the same job, Gil. Same job, same shit--I know what it's like to want to dive head first into a pool of cheap wine coolers and forget everything we've ever learned."
But she didn't, that was the difference. Because Thena had other obligations and responsibilities. And took them seriously, unlike how he had come over here without even his wallet somehow.
Gil leaned against the top of the car before letting her elbow him in. She was supporting him under his other arm, tucked into his side. He would rather be supporting her, like he had after she broke her arm. "Thanks, Thena--even if you're seeing me make a huge ass out of myself."
She gave him a really sweet smile as she separated herself from him at last, letting him get into the car seat. "Quite impossible."
She even closed the door for him, being a real gentleman to his drunk ass. Gil crossed his arms, tilting his head as he looked out her windshield. "I don't think that's true."
But she climbed into the driver's seat without a word, not wasting any time as she began backing out. "I've only picked you up a few times, but I believe I remember the way."
"You'll be fine," he murmured, still with a slight slur to his words. He would let her go and if he really had to correct her, he would. "Just look for a depressing bachelor complex and I'll be on the left."
Thena let out a laugh, which added at least some levity to the night.
She had a cute laugh. He looked at her again, although hopefully with her focused on the road she would just think he had a sore neck or something. "Y'know, maybe we should change firms."
"What makes you say that?"
He shrugged, his eyes getting fuzzy again. He was tired. "I mean, we're not allowed to do any pro bono work, which sucks. I know it's a small firm but come on."
"I do agree with you on that one," she muttered quietly. She could act all 'ice queen' if she wanted to, he knew she also had a soft spot for the kids they ended up working with.
"And the guys at the office," Gil made another face, but Thena was driving so she couldn't appreciate how funny it was. He made a noise to accompany it. "I don't like the way they look at you."
Thena didn't answer for a few minutes, probably trying to actually focus and navigate amidst his yapping. "I didn't think you noticed."
He blew a a raspberry, although with his dry lips it really sounded more like a wet fart. "Please, those pigs think they're being subtle when they look at you like--well, they're not, is what I'm getting at. And they wonder why I don't like them."
Thena let out a faint laugh again as she made a turn. She was driving a little slowly, but that was probably because she was afraid she would jerk him around too much and risk him hurling on her nice off-white interior. "I figured you were just too nice for their crass tastes in drinking buddies."
"Not disgusting enough, more like," Gil huffed again. He had to reel himself in and keep from divulging anything else. He didn't ever want to have to repeat to Thena the kind of language he'd heard them use to refer to her when they thought no one was listening.
And it didn't matter how many times he told them not to talk about her like that. All it ever did was get them convinced he was sleeping with her and beg him to tell them all about it.
"You would leave the firm just because of them?"
He slumped down further in his seat. He wasn't paying nearly enough attention to direct Thena if needed, but it was kind of nice just being in the car with her. Just them, a quiet drive, not even Sersi or Sprite or the loud, bouncy pop they liked to listen to between them.
Well, he did like some of the music they made him listen to.
"It wouldn't be just for that reason, there are more," he sufficed to say. But then he dragged himself up again and looked at her. "But I wouldn't leave without you."
Thena, driving, spared him a quick glance. She seemed surprised. "You wouldn't?"
"Of course not," he scoffed more lightly this time. Because that question was actually funny. "If anything, you're the reason I stayed past my probation period."
He wasn't supposed to tell her that. Well, he hadn't wanted to admit it to her, and certainly not like this. Whoops.
"Well," Thena began as they pulled into the parking lot of his building (unfortunately). Her voice really was like a lullaby. He had to wonder if he would even make it inside, at this rate. "If you decide to leave...then so will I."
#Thenamesh Family Law AU#thank you so much for the ask!!!#I actually did look up the clip you were talking about#what a gut wrenching case#and of course Gil is devastated that he couldn't win for her#she's just a kid!#Thena does keep him from telling that judge he's gonna kill him#he high tails it out of the courtroom already pulling his tie out because he can't be here right now#Thena tries to go after him but loses him in the crowd#Sprite and Sersi were both asking about skipping the useless half day anyway#so when they ask to have sleepovers she says great I'll drop you off with everything you need#Gil is here thinking he's making himself look like such an idiot#meanwhile Thena has been waiting for a response from him forever#and when she gets the text that he's clearly drunk#she gets up and goes to get him of course#because they're idiots in love#she gets him into his apartment and he's so miserable#he says welcome to my sad apartment#it's actually quite nice for a man cave#he thanks her for rescuing him and kisses her hair and drags himself into his bedroom and flops down on the bed in his suit#Thena can't exactly lift him#but she takes his shoes off and rolls him onto his side so he can't suffocate himself at least#the next day the girls are like where's Gil we should all hang out this weekend#Thena is like well#he wasn't...feeling the best yesterday so let me just call him#he's hungover to high heaven and barely makes it into court
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bigender plural call that a sis-t-him
#is this anything#im so tired. and also mildly drunk lol#i think kacey (our systems Most Loud About It bigender) would think this is funny#and thats good enough for me#this came from a train of thought#where a random hypothetical guy was spawned in our brain for two whole sentences#of smthn like 'please don't shorten system to 'sys' for me. i dont like being called smth so close to sis I'm a trans man'#and my immediate response was 'no problem dude 👍 you get the tem instead'
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I would love if it was my charming personality but I remember my girlfriend saying her 'obsession' with me started a night we went out as friends at a bar and some asshole groped her after already having his harassment "flirting" be rejected and while she was still trying to think of what to say to de escalate the situation the guy was already grunting because I hit him in the face
#I swear I'm not a violent drunk I have never crossed a man who didn't deserve it!!!#but yeah it's such an instinct response. I have friends who say they only go to carnaval on the streets if it's with me#and most of the time I'm like you are probably LESS safe with the woman who picks bar fights without thinking the consequences through#but I hear a lot of how much I make my female friends feel safe and that they wish they reacted as fast as me#(I'm not a complete idiot just impulsive I won most fights I started because I usually can assess someone correctly. usually)#.txt
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people going "why would aegon flee to essos with larys what about his wife and daughter???" you mean the wife he's shown not to care about?? the daughter he also doesn't really care about?? be so fr right now lmao
#did yall miss in s1 when helaena said he ignores her unless drunk?#did you miss their meeting on the stairs post funeral where helaena looked to him for some kind of response but he just ignored her?#he was only shown to care for jaehaerys cause that was his son and heir#where did this 'aegon the family man' version of him come from lmao#hotd leaks
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Hot bartender and two of his coworkers. (I drew the blonde before once but I keep thinking about glasses guy as just trying to be supportive but he's just too patient for his own good and therefore is the subject of hot bartender's sob stories of how he messed up his shot with the cute customer again.)
And as someone pointed out that it was impressive none of the hot bartender's coworkers had a problem with him having such a pathetic crush, they just appreciate that he works hard. Like even before his crush he'd be most likely to fill in for a sick coworker or stay later than necessary if one had to leave mid shift. He's very good at his job! Just. Not when he can watch the cute blonde guy and gets hit with inferiority because obviously he, a mere bartender, would stand zero chances at wooing a guy always surrounded by friends.
#my characters#me just assigning a group dad to one adult man and saying yeah that is the glasses guys role#because at work before i as an adult had a work mom who was a mom and she wouldnt dote on everyone#but she was very much a responsible mom TO ME and i appreciate her a lot#hot bartender be like wow i can smooth talk lots of drunk patrons YET THE BLONDE IS ELUSIVE AND WONT TALK TO ME#its because he doesnt think of me as more than an alcohol source#while in fact paul is like TO HIM I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A PATRON AND HE HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO IN HIS TIME THAN TALK TO ME#both paul and the hot bartender are pathetic and in love and its everyone else's problem
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Well i am utterly mortified now. yay. lets everyone remember why i dont drink unless i know i can give up control and i never drink enough to get me Out of control. and yet.
#hoo fucking ray i got to cry in front of everyone cause my man had a ptsd response bc of his mom while also super drunk#and naturallyyyyy after not being able to think straight i thought everything was my fault lollll#lalallallallaalaa great yay hashtag embarrassed hashtag why god
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Dad just go back to sleep-
I'm going to anyway,,
- 💜 anon
YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
[ REGARDS, HABIT ]
#💜 anon#anonymous asks#HABIT speaks 🐇 ☠️#habit emh ask blog#habit rp blog#ask response#answered asks#( ooc > )#cw caps#he's saying this in like a sleep drunk tone because he's basically asleep lmao#i love this way of HABIT acting because its just “threatening creechur man is now... eepy. very eepy.”
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celebrating my successful interaction with a real human person by writing the first two paragraphs I have for the house md casefic featuring actual dog people and also whatever the fuck is wrong with these guys
#was about to say “whatever is wrong with these children” but I dont think this show has a single character my age or younger#but also have you seen how house acts this man is a 5 year old sometimes#... remind me again why I decided wilson thinks hes any amount of responsible#like I know why it has nothing to do with him being responsible and a lot more to do with wilson being a drunk dog when he was in premed#but thats irrelevant and idek if Ill mention it in this fic#probably sometime in the follow up fics. probably.#anyways time to write house md fic instead of listen to my phonology class ig#wish me luck? my grades in this class are already 85ish and I require a 90 average to transfer to single major#tho I dont usually listen anyways so eh idk how much writing fic gonna change that
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oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk
#ive never been this drunk before this is crazy. the gender euphoria of not having any tolerance despite being able to drink 4 drinks a year#ago#like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in#bed rn i could have made so many bad decisions#im like this close to posting one of the thirst(?) pics i took on my sideblog that i havent touched in a month#oh my god im fucking up so many words . gang im not pretending here i drank like 2 shots tops and its Fucking me somehow#WAIT I CAN EDIT TAGS#typos fixed :sunglasses:#genuinely crazy how much im feeling it tho ive literally Never felt it this much. id ask if ibuprofen or spiro interact w alcohol but i#think there was a decent amount of time between when i took both#yeah like i took spiro ~10:57 and then uh drank after. 11 hm ok this isnt as spaced out as i expected#i dont think im going to alcohol jail tho. im being responsible im In Bed im not gonna go do anything stupid (altho i do. want to ask#someone downstairs to do something stupid. but maybe thats the alcohol talking)#also shileas is downstairs and shes a bitch and i dont want to be cringy in front of her#i dont know if shes trans or just a really masc lesbian btw . shes cool but she also has some bad takes sometimes and i dont think she#likes me#im writng so many tags <3 but thats what love is. if anyones read this far idk like the post or something#you know the one post where the person puts an egg in their mouth. and then people share the tags. this is that#i was gonna be typing this out on a discord server but i thought no. this deserves to have everyone see it#man also if i went down and asked like if anyone wants to fuck like who would say yes . shileas is a super senior maeve is in a relationshi#p#i dont like riley and . man idk about griffin. but i think im a lesbian. maybe im just desperate.#bUT IM NOT GONNA. im not gonna.#i dont want to sleep tho i want to have fun :(( but my roommate is asleep#& its not like anyones gonna fuck me on this bed . with like my lovies (thats what i call my stuffed animals) and shit .#i genuinely didnt expect that i could get this drunk and whats crazy is i know i could be more drunk#can u imagine if someone reads this and goes 'well shes clearly sober and faking it' no </3 im simply very eloquent i was neglected as#a child so i read alot lol#whoops *a lot not alot#wasnt there a limit of like 26 tags. when do i hit that
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ive mentioned this before like forever ago but i like to do this thing and look up the like "book club discussion questions" for things i read and then like journal those thoughts. just helps to like think about a book and try and see questions like to understand it better for me at least. anyways the book i read yesterday which is like clearly an allegory(? at least i think thats the right word) for totalitarianism + freedom of speech and use of religion to further ones own agenda so anyways how do you come away saying this
#i.#would not call this stubborn#drunk on power? perhaps#like i need you to understand#theres a whole scene where the aforementioned council is like 'we are taking your property away'#and when the character is like 'why'#justifiably so#the response is 'we may want to build a church in honor of [our g-d]'#which is not a gd it was just a man but whatever theyre using a dead man like 'we are the will of [him]'
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I feel like Alex would NOT be on social media, before or after becoming his virus self, but omg it's so funny to think about him posting this (would absolutely be considered crack) in a phone group chat
Alex: if you can't handle me at my
Alex: then you couldn't handle me at my
Alex: and you DEFINITELY can't handle me at my
#prototype#alex mercer#alex j. mercer#lmao#this is just me memeing while i type up my response haha#also desmond managed to handle this man at all stages except when he had a girlfriend#alex and karen broke up bc she didn't tell him the truth about Elizabeth Greene initially#but they were still really good friends after that#the other reason they broke up was bc they were both too dom it just. wasn't working#but they decided to not only stay friends and kill their way up the corporate ladder#and act as each other's beards at formal events#before alex became his virus self they regularly got together to talk about their attempts at finding love#alex just was too intense for most people and they found him creepy#karen would have a couple of really good dates and then they would find out about her murder pics#eventually karen got a girlfriend first who overlooked Karen's homicidal tendancies#Alex and Desmond eventually officially got together and they both got hangover drunk in celebration. set a couch that was outside on fire.#just regular murder friend behavior#yes they are both bisexual mad scientists whats not to like?#the murdering mad scientist environment is exactly why Ragland left to work at a morgue. too many of them#fun fact i got all these images off the wikia
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They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better?
For Akira/Raha :)
What HAPPENED was this CAT decided to almost get himself KILLED AGAIN
Ahem. Anyways.
Honestly the number one way either of them manages to hurt the other is by putting themselves in harm's way, especially unnecessarily.
If G'raha is the one hurt, Akira's knee jerk reaction is to run away. She has a lot of trauma around love and it's often much easier for her to hide somewhere with her feelings. Of course, this does not help G'raha in the slightest. She's working on it. Once she's not stuck in flight mode (or if she's able to prevent it), she usually comes back with her proverbial (and maybe literal) tail between her legs and while she never asks for forgiveness (Raha has long since learned that she feels she is undeserving of such and it frustrates him) she will apologize and spend the day with him, doing whatever he wants. Liiiike cuddles. And what cuddles lead to. <.< (I do mean this in the more sweet way though of like 'oh you wanna go to the library i'll go too to hang out and just be present oh you're hungry let me go get you food so you don't have to cook' but also they're not above make-up sex.)
If it's the other way, I imagine Raha would be practically groveling for forgiveness as soon as he realized. I also imagine him bearing apology snacks of some kind (it's never confirmed he can bake but we'll pretend he can because apology cookies are great). Half the battle is getting Akira to admit that he did something to upset her though, as she will always insist she's fine until he practically corners her and insists she tell him what's wrong. So it's half apology snack, half bribe to get her to open up.
Couple Questions
#ask response#thanks for the ask!#man i really need to work more on akiraha#i've been so far in akirchefant land that my details for akiraha need to be re-fleshed out#ship: drunk on stars
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ok, I can feel the whiskey now.
will I be able to walk to take my dog outside? Unclear.
#Drunk tumblring#Man I hate having responsibilities#I wish I could just enjoy this feeling#I mean I will for a while#But eventually I'm gonna have a nap to pull myself together#And I'd rather just go to bed still in sort of a stupor
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i just.. want to do less. it's not fun anymore
#stupid cigarettes helping me quit stupid hard drugs#it sucks bc i dont Want to smoke but if i stop i WILL do something worse#how are these not worse?#ive been drinking a little too#not often and not much and i figured out my limit. two beers three if i wanna be drunk and lots of water. and ONLY beer#everything else hurts my tummy#but those are mindful. cigarettes are like a... pavlov thing. yanno like how addiction works#my grandad is a recovering alcoholic and told me about how whenever he heard the cheers theme hed go get a beer#every time im walking between one place and another i have a cigarette. like a pavlov response or whatever#and i have to have two in the morning before i can feel normal#i hate that. it's fucked with my routine. but im not... sober enough with everything else to stop smoking yet#i still want coke SO BAD#and until that feels less i dont think i should stop smoking#and it's fucking pricey too#fuck man#i hate this so much#of COURSE this happened to me#childhood dream though right? why the fuck did i always want to be an addict. what the fuck was that about huh#whatever. sigh. we're here now. i need to start chewing gum again#lessons of the hand and the mouth#sobriety update#drugs tw
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