#this makes sense to approximately 4 people probably
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nichtimhandelerhaeltlich · 6 months ago
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due to recent developments I need Lawrence Stroll to fistfight James Vowles on behalf of Logan
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accio-victuuri · 8 days ago
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BURN AFTER READING. 🍭🍬
i have never made a post with this title before, but i have shared some cpn/speculation that deserve to be burned after reading. lol. this term is often used by cpfs for a candy or info related to the boys that may be “dangerous” — so you have to get rid of it after reading. but for my version of it, let’s describe it as something that is a level up from galaxy brain cpn. it’s the kind of cpn you will think twice or thrice before making up your mind about. 💫
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we have (2) topics here and just a disclaimer that i am not confirming anything here. this content is for cpf only. don’t take it seriously!
(1) Who is An Huibo 安慧博?
fans noticed that there was a “stand in” credited for the we and life of us music videos and that is this person. think of it as a body double. it makes sense cause aside from that scene in WE, there are times that xz’s figure is against a backdrop so maybe they needed someone to do that. the clowning began when people were thinking about, what if the other xz in WE mv is actually WYB ⬇️⬇️⬇️
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i can think of a couple of different reasons why this could be false but the strongest explanation for me is that xz will not allow wyb to so something like this. he is very superstitious. even if this is just acting, he will not allow them to act out a scene of betrayal. that for me is enough to shut this all down. but on the flipside, maybe wyb wanted him (xz) to play his first villain role opposite him in this music video.
now we have the reasons why fans think this is something worth looking at:
1. XZ and this An Huibo are the only 2 credited actors for both MVs. so it seems kinda special.
2. The director of this is LIN, the same one who directed WYB’s redmi advertisement. There are some CPNs both were made at the same studio. Which makes sense cause LIN has his own shooting studio. There is another separate CPN about this but the gist is we think this director is familiar with both of them. So XZ may be comfortable enough to bring WYB along and even include him in the video.
3. It may not be WYB himself, but he used that name to troll us. It’s so close, Huibo. Yibo.
4. I saw this explanation as well:
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If "Anhuibo" is read according to the French transliteration as An Huibo, it would approximately read:
[ã чi bɔ]
·ã: similar to "ang";
·qi: similar to "wei" in Chinese, but lighter and soft;
·bo: similar to "wave", slightly shorter.
5. As a CPF, it’s so easy for our alarm bells to ring if you read that name. An alias of sorts for Bobo. some are saying he used this kind of jumbled name to combat the bad aura of their scene together. Since he is superstitious, this removes yibo’s name and identity as the stand in who stabbed XZ’s character. if that makes sense.
maybe we will know more when they release the behind the scenes video. that is if they show who this stand in is. let’s add this to the bjyx clowning vault in the meantime.
(2) XZ look-alike in the recent GRA
i was talking to @rainbowsky about this and my initial reaction was, cpn aside, i’m surprised at how people notice these things! which i actually should be used to considering turtle’s attention to detail, but still!
so here is the “evidence”
👀👀👀👀
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like all other turtles, i’m someone who has stared at tons of photos of XZ. so i can totally understand why people would look twice at this person. i get i. i was staring at this photo for so long as well. however most of the cpfs comment on this is against this candy and they have valid reasons:
1. Why would he attend and be in the audience? XZ is someone lowkey so if he was there to accompany WYB, he will be backstage. Yes he is brave, but not like this — which seems almost careless.
2. There are names on the chair, so it’s not like anyone can just sit there casually.
3. Even if you believe in the probability, CPFs don’t wanna talk much about it cause it can be anti material. Saying XZ has to hide and can’t show his face in GRA. or why is he even there incognito when he doesn’t even have a project nominated. You all know how it goes, antis can twist the narrative. Plus we don’t want to accidentally expose them if this was true. We should not observe too much and post about it cause it will make it harder for them to do something similar in the future.
4. How did this person go unnoticed? Everyone had to get inside the security and there are cameras everywhere. He should have removed his cap and mask which — it’s impossible for someone to not notice XZ ( or is it? ). another thing is maybe he went to a diff entrance??
5. Some are washing it and saying it’s Yibo’s MUA.
Please take that last point i mentioned and carry it over to the reason why this look alike is sus. People are able to confirm that this is not WYB’s MUA because he was wearing a different cap. Even the hair and daresay the ears are not the same. and why would a MUA even be there? If WYB needs touch ups then they should do it backstage. If for some reason it has to be while the broadcast and recording was not on or was on a break, he should not sit there and act like a guest.
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Yibo’s MUA, Wang Yiduo has been with him for years. He has years of experience being around celebrities and attending these events before WYB. So he knows the decorum. He will not sit there and act like a guest just because he feels like it.
I’m curious too, who is this person who can walk in— in an event filled with people that are dressed up and then come in with a mask and casual clothes. To be allowed to sit there. Who is special enough? Probably a celebrity? and that’s why some think it could be XZ. Even the staff and assistants during the event are dressed up which made this person stand out. As for the CPN explanation, it’s nice to think that XZ is so proud of Yibo’s nomination that he has to be there. He will find a way to be in the audience and witness this special moment. 💕
I think this can easily be analyzed more if we have the video but i don’t have time to rewatch the whole GRA and wait for this cut. Cause i wanna know if it’s even there, that’s how much we question things here! 🤣 It’s so sus to me that we only have the screenshots and no video when CPFs are notorious for having concrete evidence. personally, it reminds me of the SDC3 incident but this one is still pretty outrageous considering it is a public event.
take what you want with this information. and as always, when it comes to BJYX: ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
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sources: one/ two
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elrielbaby · 4 months ago
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I don’t understand what isn’t clear about elriels set up.
1. We have clear foreshadowing for elriel in the form of the dinner scene with the bat boys & the Archerons, and the comment from Feyre about Elain & Azriel as she removes arrows from Rhys.
2. In ACOWAR, we have Azriel carrying Elain from the house of wind, carrying her over the threshold of the town house and being so gentle with her, her calling his scars beautiful & them sitting outside together, where Azriel, the person we are told almost never relaxes, is observed essentially relaxing.
3. We have Feyre questioning mate bonds and the cauldron over them.
4. We have Madjas comment about a mate sensing what is amiss, and then having Azriel, not L*cien, being the one to figure it out.
5. On a smaller note, we have both males (Cassian & Azriel) go still at the sight of both Elain & Nesta, plus Azriel continues to take Elain out in to the garden and sit with her.
6. We have an approximately, 2-3 chapter rescue scene. All insanely romantically coded. From the Elain devouring the sight of Azriel to ‘you came for me’. From Azriel setting Briar down but continuing to hold Elain until he is taken from him by someone he trusts. To Elain kissing his cheek in thanks. I’m probably forgetting some stuff there it’s packed full.
7. We have Azriel offering Elain his most prized possession - a knife he has never let anyone else so much as touch, including the female he’s supposedly been in love with for centuries.
8. Literally all of ACOFAS. There are an incredible amount of scenes in that book, it’s really a whole post just on its own.
9. We have Azriel, in ACOSF, get visibly upset at the mere suggestion that Elain may be hurt in some way.
10. We have confirmation from Cassian that Azriel seems to have moved on from Mor.
11. We have Azriels shadows poised to strike in her defence.
12. We have a charged glance between the two of them, we have Azriel standing by the doorway because the smell of E*uciens bond is so upsetting to him that he needs to be able to leave if it gets too much.
All of that - without mentioning the events of the bonus chapters (the feysand one is very Elain heavy, and the Azriel POV let’s us know in no uncertain terms that they both have romantic feelings for one another and want to act upon them). I feel like I make a post like this periodically when I see someone say Elriel haven’t been set up to be a couple or that they see them as something other than a romantic pairing and honestly it feels like throwing my head against a brick wall at this point - these people will not see it until their book is announced and they get their happy ending.
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turtlesandfrogs · 9 months ago
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Here's the actually* short notes for the course, "The Science of Well-Being" from Yale on coursera, which is available for free. Mostly focusing on the actionable steps.
Point the first: We/society at large is often wrong about what makes people happy/have a sense of well being. Unless you've been reading into motivation, happiness, flow, etc, already, in which case you're likely right on track.
We adapt to both good things and bad things, so neither one effects us as much as we think they will. Our brains adapt to, and filter out stimuli after a while. If we want to get the most enjoyment out of something/life, we should increase variety and take breaks. Like, drink a different kind of tea every day, or take breaks when listening to music. Also, practicing gratitude, savoring (pausing and intentionally appreciating the good moments in life), sharing experiences with others, and recalling past moments of joy. Also, you can practice negative visualization, when you on purpose think of how awful the world would be if you didn't have something that you do have.
A good job is one that allows you to practice your signature strengths and enter the flow state.
The income-increased happiness plateau is somewhere between $75k and $500k- but I found a recent article** after the comments to this effect, and "Yet is important to note that the relationship is weak, even if statistically robust. The correlation between average happiness and log(income) is 0.09 in the experience sampling data, for example, and the difference between the medians of happiness at household incomes of $15,000 and $250,000 is about five points on a 100-point scale. The flattening and accelerating patterns are even smaller modulations of a small effect. However, the emotional effects of other circumstances are also small. KD reported that the effect of an approximately four-fold difference in income is about equal to the effect of being a caregiver, twice as large as the effect of being married, about equal to the effect of a weekend, and less than a third as large as the effect of a headache." Which says to me I'm making the right move by going to a 4 day work week :P But seriously, that's great news.
We think in comparisons, and comparison is the thief of joy. You can reduce consumption of images of people who are richer, cooler, more skilled, etc than you, and that will help prevent mood deterioration. You can also reframe to compare to yourself in the past.
Being kind makes you and everyone involved happier. Buying things for others makes you happier than buying things for yourself. Giving to charity makes you happier if it builds social connection. (Why the focus on buying things to make you happier? Why not on actions you can take to make yourself or someone else happier? Probably because giving someone $20 is easier from a study's standpoint.)
Get 7 or more hours of sleep a day.
Move 30 minutes a day.
Meditate- look into mindfulness, loving kindness.
Social connection- doesn't have to be a romantic relationship! Just interacting with others, even strangers, makes us happier (still sounds fake to me, but I'm like a mega introvert). Spending time with people you like is good.
Having free time is important.
Create an environment that supports what ever change you're trying to make.
WOOP = Wish, Outcome, Obstacles, and Plan. "What's your wish for your goal? What's your best outcome? What are the obstacles? What's your if-then plan?" Really helps with actually accomplishing your goals.
*I realized I said short notes before, but then somehow that ended up being super long.
** Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved by Matthew A. Killingswortha, Daniel Kahnemanb, and Barbara Mellers
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malenjoyer · 29 days ago
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I'm interested in reading tim's comics but I fear I may have gotten too many (general) spoilers about what happens to actually manage to enjoy it. if you've read his comics, how much did you know beforehand?
I knew the timeline of when he became robin, his general approximate meetings with characters like Steph, jason, Damian, and existence of Red Robin before. Who he loses.
The good thing about getting into reading character comics is that it’s impossible to know everything. It really is unless you’ve got around 10 years or so invested into it or you’ve got maybe 4-5 years of hardcore reading. Even then if you only read solos, you don’t know how the character exists in other people’s pov until you read outside of the main popular recommended comics. For example, in some comics Batman might the biggest broodiest saddest asshole, in others he’s a sopping wet cat broken hearted man, in some he’s really funny and beats people up.
Knowing things didn’t spoil enjoyment for me because knowing big events didn’t mean I knew how they were set up, which character interactions lead up to that part, and how the author weaves around elements for the build up. I don’t know about what happened in the timeline, in real life, that causes editorial to make those decisions specifically until I read the comics and I learn what happens in the background.
If you’ve got a serious detail obsessive brain itch like me, no amount of spoilers will ruin it for you, probably! You should read it anyways. Reading the comics yourself will feel good because you can feel the puzzles start to piece itself together- in a sense. And a bit of a hot take but if you are ever uncomfortable with a specific fanon depiction that ends up developing, which yknow is okay, we all play with toys. Reading the comics allows you to develop a sense of who they are in a…real way? I don’t know. In a way where they exist outside of shipping, I suppose. It allows you to enjoy the character better because he will exist for you, on a separate plane that will be hard to be ruined by any associations with fandom.
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jasper-the-menace · 17 days ago
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I was looking at the Magic: The Gathering: The Visual Guide by Jay Annelli for fanfiction purposes and... Why are so many planeswalkers so fucking tall???
Ajani being 6'3" makes sense because that's a lion man. If anything, he should be taller. But Tezzeret is 5'10"? How?
Basri is 6 feet tall (and Samut is 5'8" so I dunno maybe Bolas just likes Amonkhet people being taller).
Bolas himself is, hilariously, listed at "approximately 35 feet tall" (and so is Ugin). Karn is 7 feet tall which is...fine? He's a big bulky construct guy. Teferi is listed at approximately 6', which is weird, because very few heights so far give us "approximately" right there in the profile. Liliana's 5'10" and that feels right to me.
Then you get to the Kenriths and Will is 5'10" while Rowan's 5'9".
Daretti is listed as being "6 ft in cogchair", which makes sense because those are his legs now, man.
Lukka gets neither his own page nor a canonical height, but based on the pattern so far, he'd probably be listed at 6 feet tall.
Sorin is 6'2" and that's a crime because somehow Arlinn is only 5'7". She should be so much taller than him.
Huatli is 5'2". Let that settle in and realize that the dinosaur warrior-poet is the same height as me.
Chandra is 5'6". This is the only one so far besides Liliana that feels correct. But Saheeli being 5'4"???
Tyvar is 5'8", which is on the shorter end of the men so far, which is utterly fascinating to me.
But then we get to the part that got me started on this tangent. What do you MEAN Kaito is 6 feet tall while the Wanderer/Emperor is only 5'3"??? Absolutely not. Oh, and for those interested, Tamiyo is listed at 5'10", though it's unclear if this is before or after being compleated.
Elspeth is 5'9" and that's passable. That's an understandable number.
Koth is 6 feet tall and that feels fine because this man is notoriously beefy. But it doesn't feel real that he's somehow shorter than Sorin Markov.
Kaya is listed at 5'7", Ral is 5'10", Vraska is 5'10", and Jace is 5'10". Of those, only Jace really felt shorter to me, but I understand that Jace is the ruler that every other character's height has been measured against.
Sarkhan is 5'11" and Narset is 5'8". Again, reasonable and understandable numbers. Sarkhan is a guy who walks around without his shirt and Narset is a martial artist who can kick nearly anyone's ass. These are understandable heights.
Gideon is 6'4" and, like with Ajani, this number feels correct but also not quite tall enough? Calix and Niko, like so many others, are also listed at 5'10".
Kiora is 5'7", Nahiri is 5'9", and Nissa is somehow only 5'2".
We get mentions of yet no height information about Mu Yanling, Jiang Yanggu, and Mowu (who I am counting; bite me) under the short profile half-page on the Plane of Mountains and Seas (before it was renamed to Shenmeng), and then we get into the miscellaneous planeswalker profiles.
Angrath is 7 feet tall (again, this feels correct), Ashiok is 6'10" (HOW), Davriel is 5'10" (he gives real short king energy for someone who is that tall), Garruk is 7'7" with the note that it "varies by around 1 foot depending on his mood", Kasmina is 5'10", Ob Nixilis is 6'6", Oko is 5'5" with the note that it's "variable" (probably because of the shapeshifting), Vivien is 5'10", Aminatou is 4 feet tall, Estrid is 5'6", Grist is variable because it depends on the size of the swarm, and Wrenn is variable because it depends on tree height.
Anyway, yeah, that's all of the official heights as of the Visual Guide. So many fucking giants. It's crazy to me, man.
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kerubimcrepin · 2 months ago
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LIVEREAD: WAKFU, THE GREAT WAVE [TOME 1, Chapters 4-7]
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Always some weird shit happening in this country.
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I really wish they didn't make Grougalorasalar so fine because now putting him next to Joris feels like one of those "trying to give my cat body dysmorphia" memes.
EXCEPT JORIS ALMOST DEFINITELY ALREADY HAS THAT 😭
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Some thought that it's quite cheap, to resurrect a character this way — however, killing 1k people is already established as a type of resurrection that works, within canon. And there is dramatic irony, considering at the end of the movie she kinda began to understand the error of her ways... It's like the universe is saying lol, no peaceful death for you, keep suffering, y'know? It's compelling.
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SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEE-FEES. YOU ALWAYS CRY WHILE COMMITTING WARCRIMES. COME UP WITH A NEW GIMMICK!
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Like literally — this guy will cry over his dead son, and act scared about being forced to commit more warcrimes w/ Joris in the movie... and then go on to commit more warcrimes for centuries. Is he for real?
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I think that, of all the people he could have picked, Julith is the most befitting candidate to try and fight Yugo.
She hated holier-than-thou types. She was aligned with Brakmar. She was willing to commit mass murder and abuse her son to reach her goals. For the right reasons, she will be willing to do more mass murder and son abuse once more. It literally makes so much sense to me.
(ANKAMA PLEASE CHANGE HER MOTIVATION FROM REVOLVING AROUND THE MAN SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH. DO KEEP THE CHILD ABUSE, THO. IF YOU DON'T DO THESE 2 THINGS, THIS MANGA WILL BE UNREADABLE AND UNBEARABLE. THANK YOU.)
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Once again, I really appreciate the irony. I hope she feels bad about this — I hope it's clicking for her that this is what she was going to do. (I love torturing characters I love torturing characters I love—-)
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I really wish we got some more of a conversation here — like "it's been approximately 600ish years since you died" or "the world almost ended like 4 times since you died, and there was a huge flood and stuff".
I really wish to see the reaction of some random mortal character from Dofus era to all the bullshit that has happened since then.
(God, I hope her first thought after learning how long it has been is, "oh, I guess I won't know what happened to my son. It has been a long time. He died a long time ago, I guess. That's probably a good thing." It would be so funny so so funny sooooo funny to me. hehe)
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Due to Atcham being an owner of one of these thins in the past, I sadly have an affinity for them.
(I like to think Atcham wishes he could get another one, but being able to own an animal like this was like, one of the things he had to sacrifice to become a Bontarian.)
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Something wrong with her, for real.
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Loving their resurrection of Julith not just physically, but in spirit too <3
Welcome back, Irredeemably Evil Female Character Driven To Kill Torture And Abuse Innocents (Including Children) By "My Husband, Who Is The Only Person The Writers Have Me Care About, Died"-Disorder And No Other Character Traits Besides Motherhood/Desire To Be A Mother (Despite Being Abusive To All Children Around Her) Given To Her. You truly are a classic, in Ankama media!
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I wonder if Julith is being forced into this, or if the only lesson she got from dying is "Jahash wouldn't have wanted me to kill 1k Bontarians" and she is still as weird and horrible of a person.
I guess it's hard to judge what is happening, without knowing what 'Salar told her.
By the way, if she still has a grudge against Bonta for planning the perfect series of events to kill her and Jahash, it will be so funny. Lady you literally tried to killed a woman's husband <3 you have no moral high ground anymore <3 and she never Had a moral high ground to stand on, but now there's like, hypocrisy to it too, if she uses the "my husband and I were plotted against" card.
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[giggles cutely] You see, , this is why I often bring up Joris while analysing child-parent relationships and immortality. Ankama loves reiterating on ideas and concepts.
For example, the most recent motif is poisonings and belladonna, especially when love and royalty is involved...
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I know I roasted the hell out of Eliatrope for her bad ruling skills, but I don't think that calling a ruling queen "kiddo" and "the girl" is helpful in this situation.
Then again, Aurora said that her father spent most of his time holled up in a cave, in season 4. Maybe he usually doesn't do politics. Maybe he's more of a military leader, while others do all the work.
...Yeah, I know, I know. Ankama just didn't give a shit and I'm just making stuff up to make it make sense.
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dem-obscure-imagines · 4 months ago
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I Know the End | Vol. 2
I Know the End
Poe Dameron x Reader
Fandom: Star Wars
Summary: You were one of the Rebellion’s greatest weapons in the Galactic Civil War, a Princess from a distant planet, a Jedi with wings. Now, you’ve found yourself in a new world, a new war, your old friends long gone.
When Poe Dameron was sent on a wild goose chase of a reconnaissance mission four systems out, he never expected to find the key to his heart…
Note: At long last, here it is. Thank you for your patience. I love you all. I honestly wrote this as a long-winded attempt to make Poe Dameron’s dumbest line “Somehow, Palpatine returned” into a gut-wrenching and emotional moment and it got way out of hand. I am no Star Wars expert, but I did a lot of research for this and consider myself waaaaaaay more of a SW nerd now than I was a mere two months ago. Could probably write a dissertation on it at this point (I say as I literally churned out a novel). It is my first time writing for the fandom, though, so, here goes nothing. I did make up a fair bit of stuff and a good handful of OCs for this. Let me know what you think!
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, lightsaber and blaster wounds, alcohol consumption, war and the implications of it, gets a little steamy but no smut, reader has nightmares, misuse of the Force, Rewriting the Rise of Skywalker a lil bit…
Word Count: 82.7k total (Split into four approximately 20k chunks)
Reader Is: 24, a Jedi, a Princess, has butterfly wings
Vol 1. | Vol 2. | Vol 3. | Vol 4.
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Charms in Trees
A few small battles came and went. It was pilot stuff, mostly. They’d go, blow up a First Order transport, and be back in time for dinner. You always offered your help, but it was never needed. Still, you’d take any excuse to go see Poe, especially in that orange jumpsuit. You weren’t sure what it was about it, but you couldn’t get enough of it.
Sometimes you thought about taking it off of him.
It was a growing problem, your little unspoken thing. You’d forgotten just how all-encompassing a crush could be, especially when it was as attainable as the one sitting in front of you right now. You shared a base, lived just down the hall from him. Maker, you could feel that he felt the same way about you, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to shatter the normalcy.
Part of you wanted him to do it, finally take that leap of faith. You were patient. You could wait.
So you did.
Supplies began to dwindle, so you put on a utility uniform and went with some of the others to get more, lifting boxes with your arms instead of your mind. You helped Aspen and some of the other mechs with repairs. You spent time with Soren, both training and not. He was fun to hang out with, a funny guy. Had your sense of humor.
He told you that Laesynda had taken him out to Mariposas a few times when he was growing up. They’d leave flowers outside your pod, light a candle for a while and tell stories. It was haunting, almost, the funerals people held for you despite the fact that you weren’t dead.
Poe had been refurbishing an old X-Wing in his free time, which wasn’t very much to begin with. Leia had been upping his responsibilities, clearly bracing for something. Whether it was an attack or a defensive move, you couldn’t tell, but it had him stressed out.
On a beautiful afternoon, you looked for him in the hangar, armed with some baked goods. BB-8 chirped to welcome you and Poe kicked a shelf in shock, a toolbox teetering for a moment before it started its descent straight on top of him. You caught it in mid-air. The tools floated out of the box, your arm outstretched, heart racing. You set them all down gently, safely away from that pretty face of his.
“Didn’t mean to scare you, Dameron. Came here with a peace offering.”
“Peace offering?” He asked, rolling himself out from under the X-Wing. He peeled his work gloves off, dusting himself off as best as he could.
It looked pretty close to finished, you noted, looking it over. It would need a paint job, of course, but all of the major parts seemed to be accounted for.
“Finn said you’ve been in a mood lately…” You admitted. “Figured I’d bring you something to take your mind off it.”
He grinned, looking at the gift and then up at you. There it was, that infamous flyboy grin of his. “Sunshine, you’re all I need to take my mind off of it. But these are appreciated, too.”
Your heart fluttered at the nickname, handing him the container of sweets. “How’s it going in here? It looks good.”
“Thanks. Should be done soon.” He reported, busting into the box and biting into the sweet, berry-filled tart. “And then we’ll really be in business.”
“I’m sorry about your other one, by the way. I feel partially responsible for that.”
“It wasn’t my first. I knew it wouldn’t be my last.” He chuckled. “At least it got to go out with a bang.”
“And some flames, as well. It was on fire, last I saw it.”
“I am glad I got to take you for a spin in it, though. Think I could get you into this new one sometime?”
“I’m always down for a joyride.” You told him, eyes sparkling, words sincere. “Let me know when it’s done and I can try to fit you into my busy Jedi princess schedule.”
“You’re serious.”
“Always.” You nodded. “I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you.”
He pouted, gazing at you through those dark lashes, a little bit of fruit filling stuck to the corner of his stupidly pink lips. His tongue poked out to get it, but failed. “Wish I’d known that a week ago, I would have carved out more time.”
“Don’t worry about it, Commander.” You said, resting a hand against his chest. You reached up with the other hand, gently wiping corner of his lips. “I know you’re busy, too.”
He held your hand against his cheek, meeting your eyes. “Not too busy for you, your Highness.”
“Good.” You replied, thumb gently stroking his stubble.
He turned his face, pressing a soft kiss to the pad of your thumb. He met your eyes, gaze all innocent despite the way your cheeks were flushing. “Did you get it?”
“I did.” You nodded, making a speedy recovery. “Couldn’t let the best pilot in the Resistance walk around with jam on his face, could I?”
“Well, thank you, for the treats, for sparing my reputation, all of it.” His eyes scanned down your face as you finally removed your hand from the side of his. “You got anything going on today, (Y/N)?”
“Training.”
“Mmm. What time?”
“Soon.” You said, glancing at the watch around your wrist. It had been Luke’s, Leia had given it to you. “About fifteen minutes.”
“Could you move that panel for me real quick?” He asked, pointing up at the wing of his X-Wing, where a patch of machinery was exposed, a heavy piece of sheet metal leaning up against it.
“Oh yeah. Absolutely.”
He set his box of tarts on the workbench and rolled a ladder over to the X-Wing while you lifted the wing cover into place, arms out in front of you, the heavy piece floating in mid-air. He stopped and watched for a second, chuckling to himself.
“What?”
“Still getting used to it, is all.” He confessed, gently pushing the piece into place, where you held it until he started bolting it into place. “This thing weighs like two hundred pounds, and you just…You’re amazing. You know that?”
“You think that’s cool, you should see what I can do with some pretty hefty rocks.”
He glanced over his shoulder at you, the whir of his wrench stopping. “Oh I’m sure it’s phenomenal.”
“Anything else you need while I’m here?”
He shook his head. “I’m all set. Good luck with training. I hope you…you know, move things good.”
“I’ll certainly try.” You chuckled, turning and leaving the hangar.
Over and over in your head, you watched him turn his face and press the gentlest kiss to your thumb. You may have been the one with wings, but he was always the one that gave you butterflies.
***
Your final bits of training that day just so happened to be wing-centric. That morning, you’d flitted from tree to tree, hanging metal charms in the branches with lengths of twine. Rey had been given some other independent activities to work on, but it was clear you and Soren had some ground to cover, or…not cover, flight being the main objective here.
The two of you stared up at them. He looked at you for instructions, but you simply repeated what you’d already said.
“Go get them.”
“What, with the Force?”
“Nope. We’ve been using the Force for hours. Time to stretch those wings, little prince.”
He laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been up that high before.”
“That’s why I need you to be comfortable with it. If you go about it the right way, you can get some serious height. More, if you strengthen your wings with practice and exercise, and more yet if you use the Force for a little boost.”
“Could you…show me?”
You chuckled, hands on your hips, looking up, up, up at the charms. Yeah, that would definitely be a bit daunting if it was your first time flying. “Sure. I’m not gonna cut them down, though, because I’ll have to go up there and hang them all again.”
You spread your wings, shaking the accumulated dust and humidity collected on them from Ajan Kloss’ temperate ecosystem. And then you took off, running at a stump on the ground and using it as a springboard, wings carrying you to the first branch, where you hit the hanging charm sending it swinging.
You flipped from the first branch to the next, a few feet higher, touching that charm before heading to the next, and the next. You were like a dancer, graceful, fluid, gliding from branch to branch, using your limited flight to climb until you were near the top of the highest tree in your training grounds. You took a moment to look out at the camp, admire the Resistance crew bustling from building to building, doing their daily tasks to keep your movement up and running.
And then, doing one last somersault, you dove down, catching yourself with your wings and a burst of air, kicking up the leaves scattered on the forest floor.
Soren stared with wide eyes, Rey having joined him on the ground.
“And you expect me to do…that?”
“Not all of it.” You assured him. “That last jump is definitely something you’ll have to build towards. It’s a leap of faith. But that’s why I’m here, to catch you if the landing isn’t going so smooth.”
“Alright.” He nodded. “I can try.”
“Do or do not. There is no try.” You said, the words familiar, even if they weren’t yours. Sometimes the Force spoke through you; you could feel that this was one of those times. “Aim for five charms today. Any more than that and I’ll be impressed.”
Soren looked up at the first charm, on a low, sturdy branch, deceptively close to the ground. Like you did, he took off at a run, using his wings to get some height and land–somewhat shakily–on the branch, but he did it, youthful face breaking into a grin.
“There you go!” You encouraged, Rey smiling as she watched.
“It’s really great, what you’re doing with him.” Rey said, voice sincere. She reached for your hand and you gave it to her, just as you had that very first day you met. Long ago, you and Leia had shared a sisterhood, and now you shared that with Rey.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
“I hope so. He’s…well, he’s my first Padawan. After you, of course, but you had a head start.”
“I wish you had been here when all of this started,” she confessed, squeezing your hand. “It would have been…nice to know I wasn’t alone in this.”
“You’re not alone.” You told her. “A long time ago…I was meditating, trying to find other Jedi out there. Luke and I thought we were alone, too. I found someone, another Jedi, a young woman. The Force works in mysterious ways, of course, because…it was you. You wouldn’t be born for another, what, eleven years? But I know it was you. We were meant to be here. I was meant to help you and…I plan on doing that. No matter what.”
Rey smiled, words failing her. She pulled you into her arms instead, resting her head against yours. You hugged her back, rubbing comforting circles in her shoulders.
“You know, I’ve always wanted a sister.” She admitted with a laugh, tears in her eyes.
“Well now you’ve got one.”
“I got seven charms, Aunt (Y/N).” Soren said, dangling them from their strings when you turned to look.
“How was the landing?”
“A little shaky, but…” He shrugged and then looked back up at the next charm, even higher than the last. “I think I could get another one.”
“Go ahead. Round two.” You encouraged, motioning him up into the tree.
Finn and Poe walked over not long after, chatting animatedly about something, BB-8 rolling alongside them. It was clear, even from that distance, that Finn was teasing him.
You couldn’t help but smile at the sight.
“She getting you up there next, Rey?” Finn asked, pointing up at the trees, where Soren had very clearly already gotten the hang of it, throwing a few flips and flourishes into his movements. You grinned, proud.
“Oh, no, I don’t think so.” Rey shook her head. “I will after you do.”
“Fair enough.” Finn chuckled. “How’s it going, ladies?”
“Good. Really good. Good, productive day today.” You said.
“Good view up there?” Poe asked, shielding his eyes as he glanced up at the highest branch, a glittering charm still hanging from a thread.
“Great view.” You said.
“I thought you said you could only cover short distances, that looks like quite a height.”
“You have to build up to it.” You told him, pointing to all the shorter branches on the way up to that point. “I can’t just fly straight up there. Maybe with some strength training, but these things aren’t what they used to be.” You gave them a flutter, noting the way his eyes caught on them yet again.
“Well, it looked great, from what I could see.”
“That’s high praise coming from you, flyboy.”
“Well, from one flyer to another…you’re a natural. Literally. You were born to be up there, doing that.”
You smiled, voice soft and sincere when you said, “So were you.”
“That means a lot, (Y/N).” He said, head turning downwards for a moment while he thought. “Anyway, uh, Finn and I were wondering if the two of you would join us at the cantina later? Rose’ll be there, too. Things have been so tense lately, we thought we could all blow off some steam.”
“I’d love to.”
Rey nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
“Just let me get changed into something more casual.” You said, flourishing the skirts of your Jedi robes.
“What, the robes aren’t fit for a night on the town?”
“The robes aren’t fit for…much other than looking solemn and kicking ass.” You said with a chuckle. “Unlike your flight suit, which is fit for any occasion.”
“Back to that, huh?” Poe grinned, letting out a laugh. “If you really like that thing so much, maybe I’ll wear it more often.”
You smirked. “I wouldn’t complain.”
“I would.” Finn chuckled. “It needs a good wash, buddy.”
“Alright, alright.”
You watched as Soren landed once again, wings powerful, stance strong. You gave him a nod, pride blossoming in your chest. He was getting there after all. Your training was working. You just hoped that, when danger came, he’d be ready for it.
You hoped you all would be.
Cards on the Table
You sat in your quarters with Rose and Rey, getting ready for your night out with the boys. You braided a few strands of your hair, tying them off with small gold rings at the end.
“This one?” Rey asked, holding the dress up against her frame, a sage green color. It was one of the ones you’d given her.
You nodded. “That color suits you. Brings out your eyes.”
Rey considered your words for a moment before beginning to change. Rose sat at your desk, looking through the accessories you’d pulled out. You plucked a pair of earrings from the collection, setting them in her palm.
“Are you sure? I’ve never worn a princess’ earrings before.” Rose said, staring at them. They were a pair of gold, dangling leaves. They’d go with the blouse she was wearing, a natural pattern on them.
“First time for everything.” You said with a shrug, turning your attention to your own outfit. A wine-colored top with a corset front, the back swooping just low enough for your wings. With it, you’d paired some dark brown pants with flared legs, a decorative gold belt made of metal hoops. You tucked your lightsaber into your bag, instead of displaying it at your hip.
“Oh this…” Rey struggled with the back of her dress. “I can’t get it to stay closed.”
“Here, let me.” You walked over and pulled ribbons from the sides of the dress, tying it closed above the large divot for where your wings went when you had worn it. “I sewed these in for Leia. She and I shared a closet during the Rebellion, more or less.”
Rey’s eyes scanned down her reflection, hands smoothing out the green fabric. “Thank you.”
“You look great.” You told her, words warm and reassuring. “You both do.”
“So do you!” Rose complimented.
A few minutes later, you decided you were ready, not that there was any pressure to be. This was just Finn and Poe you were talking about after all. But you had a feeling quite a few other members of the Resistance crew would be there.
The three of you arrived and it felt like time stopped. Poe and Finn were in a round booth in the corner and they both looked up, faces lit with anticipation at the sight of you. It felt good to be wearing something other than your robes or your standard Resistance gear, a luxury you did not take lightly.
They stood up and crossed the room, meeting you somewhere in the middle. Poe was wearing that leather jacket of his, the one you’d mistaken him for Han Solo in. Beneath it, a button-up that seemed to be missing a few buttons. You swore he was doing it on purpose.
“Hey, Princess.” He grinned. “Glad you made it.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
Several Resistance folks milled about, dancing, playing games. A few droids manned the bar, where there were paper lanterns strung from the support beams, casting the room in warm, ambient light.
The five of you shimmied back into the booth, Poe going almost out of his way to make sure he got the seat next to yours, right on the end. His arm settled on the seat behind you, that strong sandalwood scent drifting from his pulse point. Maker, you could get lost in it.
When the droid taking drink orders came around, you each requested something, settling in for a nice, casual night.
A song you recognized came over the speakers in the corners of the room and you smiled. It was familiar. A place like this, people like these.
The more things changed…
“I requested some oldies for you.” Poe confessed, just about causing your heart to melt. “Thought it’d remind you of the good old days.”
“He put ten whole credits in the jukebox.” Finn tattled, earning a pointed look from the pilot. “Stood there forever picking out songs.”
“Well that was very sweet.” You said, leaning a little closer to him subconsciously. “Not to sound incredibly old, but the new music is still…growing on me, we’ll say.”
“How old were you?” Finn asked. “I’m sorry if that’s rude. I don’t think we’ve ever asked.”
“I’m twenty-four. I’ll be twenty-five in…well, I don’t know when my birthday falls now. Four months? Three months? Something like that. Give or take thirty years, of course.”
“You’re younger than me.” Poe murmured, almost in shock of the fact.
He’d taken it for granted, he guessed, just how young you were when they’d put you in that pod. But you’d existed his entire life, etched into legends and stories told by anyone who remembered the war. To him, you’d existed forever. But he was older than you, by eight years.
“Were you…alive when I was?” You asked, running the numbers in your mind.
“I’m thirty-two.” He said, meeting your eyes. There was an odd look in them, like he was asking permission for something. He chuckled, covering the flash of insecurity with a smirk and a quip. “I know I hardly look it.”
“You would have been really young, then.” You bit your lip, letting out a little laugh at the new information. The whole situation was ridiculous. You doubted your paths had ever crossed, so it didn’t matter, ultimately, but still. “That is a little weird.”
“It is.” Poe agreed, eyes still ever-searching yours for some sign that it was still okay, the feelings floating around his heart.
“That means you really are the Han of the group.” You said, in an attempt to diffuse the tension that had blossomed in his chest. It worked. You could feel it instantly. “He was like thirty and the rest of us were in our twenties.”
“Does that make you Leia this time?” Rey asked, catching your eyes, a spark of mischief in her gaze. She knew exactly what she was implying.
“I think it does. Which means you get to be me this time. Congratulations, you are now a princess. Use the title well.” You joked, sitting back against the cushioned bench, also, coincidentally, against Poe’s arm, which was still there, perched on the leather. Warmth emanated from him, both literally and figuratively.
Eventually, the drinks came and you took a few sips of yours, loosening up. You all chatted and joked and laughed. Eventually, Rey and Rose got up to dance with the mechs over on the dance floor. Finn followed behind them.
Jessika spotted you and motioned you over, a broad grin on her face. Beside her was Aspen. Snap was there, too. They were hanging out near the holodart board mounted to the wall.
“Wanna play some darts?” Poe smirked, following your eyeline.
“If you’re ready to get your ass kicked, sure.” You teased, getting out of the booth after him and walking over to where his friends were waiting.
“You look great, girl!” Jessika said. “Give us a spin.”
You did a little twirl, showing off the top, the pants, the accessories. Your wings fluttered behind you like a cape, folded down and out of the way, as they always were.
“Dameron said he was gonna try to get you out here tonight.” Snap said, jostling his buddy’s shoulder. “Glad you joined us.”
“Do you guys do this often?”
“Not often enough.” Aspen said with a laugh, perched criss-cross on a barstool. “But our schedules have us all wound up tighter than a drum. I think we all needed to let off some steam.”
“How have things been for you guys? Missions running smoothly?”
“As ever.” Jessika said. “Thanks, of course, to our fearless commander.”
“Stop, stop, you’re too kind.” Poe said, playfully brushing off his shoulder. “It helps that I have the best team in the galaxy at my disposal.”
Snap motioned you closer, handing you a glowing dart. “Alright, enough chitchat. I want the Jedi on my team.”
“That is not fair.” Poe protested immediately. “It’s only fair if she’s on my team.”
“Sorry, Poe, I’ve been spoken for.” You shrugged, throwing the dart and landing in the outer ring of the bullseye.
Snap’s face lit up and he high-fived you.
“That’s gotta be cheating.” Jessika said, looking to Aspen, who was serving, apparently, as the referee. Pilots took their holodarts very seriously, after all. “Ref, tell her she’s cheating.”
“No, if I was cheating, it would look like this.” You took a second dart from Snap, covered your eyes with one hand, and threw the dart, using the Force to pull it through an exaggerated loop-de-loop on its way to the board, where it hit dead on in the center. You lowered your hand and shrugged innocently. “I just genuinely have pretty decent aim, as hard as it is to believe.”
“She’s pretty and she’s got a sense of humor. You’re a goner, Dameron.” Snap said, elbowing him while you were distracted, laughing with Aspen and Jessika.
Poe chuckled, crossing his arms, eyes teeming with tenderness. “Believe me, pal, I know.”
***
The night went on. You had a few more drinks, toeing the line between tipsy and drunk, but not quite getting all the way there. You and Poe continued to dance around each other, but he didn’t make a move. Well, any further than he already had. But after watching him interact with some of his friends, you’d come to realize that he was a touchy guy. It was definitely his love language.
You sang some songs at the karaoke machine in the corner of the room, sharing the stage with Rose, who had a really good voice, as it turned out.
At the end of the evening, when the crowd began to dwindle, Poe walked you back to your quarters. You, somewhat clumsily, punched in your code, the doors sliding open smoothly. You lingered in the doorway, turning to look at him.
“Thanks for taking me out, Dameron.” You said, breaking the warm silence that threatened to swallow your moment. “I had a great time.”
“Thanks for coming. I, uh…” He reached for your hand and you gave it to him, letting him fiddle with your fingers. It was comforting, his touch. You doubted you’d ever tire of the feeling of those calloused palms against yours. “If you were serious about that joyride…I’m taking it up tomorrow. Little test-drive, checking perimeters. Two porgs, one stone, you know. It’ll still be a tight fit, if that’s alright.”
“Well we both know I have no problem with getting close to you, Dameron.” You teased, giving his hand a squeeze. “What time are you picking me up?”
“After breakfast? Or…well, whenever works. I know you’re busy.”
You nodded, eyes glimmering. “After breakfast works.”
You could feel it again, that warmth sweltering in Poe’s chest. That desire laced deep in his eyes. He was thinking about kissing you. The fantasy playing out in your mind, you weren’t sure if it was yours or his, at this point.
Him, grabbing you by the hip, burying a hand in your hair, kissing you fiercely, passionately, lips exploring every inch of your own. Hungrily. Like he’d been waiting for it. You heard the way his breath hitched, felt his large, warm hand wander further up your back, towards the base of your wings as he kissed you. Cards on the table, heart on his sleeve.
But he didn’t. Didn’t move, aside from giving your hand another squeeze.
You smiled at him, still reeling from the images that had just flashed through your mind, but doing your best to hide the way your heart was racing. “It’s a date.”
These Haunted Wounds
You woke with a start not long after you drifted off. An hour or two at most. Nightmares. Figured.
This time, it was about a different saber. A red one, two little offshoots on the side of the hilt. It looked dangerous. Poorly constructed, if you were honest. One wrong move and the wielder would slice their own hand off by mistake.
No, the scary part was the guy wielding it. Long, foreboding figure, black cloak that drifted in the wind. He wore a mask over his face, voice deepened by a modulator of some kind. It brought back memories in all the wrong ways.
Despite the fact that you hadn’t seen him yet, didn’t know what he looked like, you could just tell. This was Kylo Ren. Had to be. That type of energy could only come from someone who was trying his damndest to stand in the shadow of Darth Vader, an entity you were still all too familiar with.
Luke had made his peace with the guy. You had never gotten that opportunity.
Kylo swished his cape and from his shadow came Insidia, still haunting you after all these years. She plunged her saber into your heart, the pain scorching and real, a scream tearing itself from your throat, and that was when you woke in a cold sweat.
You sat there, hands shaking, heart racing, collecting yourself before trying to lay down to sleep again. Just as you were about to lay back down, there was a knock on your door. Eyebrows furrowing, you swung your legs out of the bed, crossing the room and opening the door with a click of a button on the wall panel.
Poe was standing there in his sweatpants, panting, armed with a piece of a pipe. It was clear he’d run there. “What happened? Are you alright?”
“Huh?” You asked, rubbing at your bleary eyes. You stopped, staring at his bare, toned chest for maybe too long before meeting his gaze. “I’m fine.”
He lowered the pipe. “Oh. I heard screaming.”
Had you screamed out loud? Maybe you had. Maybe you’d projected it on accident, through the Force.
“It was just a nightmare.” You reassured him. You chuckled when you looked at the pipe hanging from his grip. “Nice.”
“Hey, I could do some real damage with this thing.” He defended, giving it a test swing to demonstrate.
“Oh I bet.” You gave a tired smile, let out a sigh, that spot in your chest burning, where Insidia had stabbed you in this dream.
She’s dead. You reminded yourself. She can’t hurt me anymore because she’s dead.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Same old.” You shrugged. “Stabbed with a lightsaber this time. Right through the chest.”
He frowned, nodding. “Is there anything I can do?”
“I’ll be okay.” You promised him. “But thank you for rushing to my rescue. Very daring of you, Commander.”
“Any time.” 
You could feel that he wanted to stay. But you could tell he wasn’t going to ask. Ever the gentleman in the presence of a princess. It was kind of refreshing. You smiled at him. “Get some sleep, flyboy. See you in the morning.”
“You too. Goodnight.” He smiled. He held up the pipe in his hand. “I better go put this back.”
You laughed, watching as he walked back down the hallway. He glanced back at you, meeting your eyes before returning to the room he shared with Finn.
A soft smile pulled at your lips and you lingered in the hallway for a moment before closing your door and walking back to your bunk. You sat there, wondering what it would have been like if you asked him to stay. It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to, but…maybe there was a reason he was waiting.
Maybe he was waiting until after the war to get attached. That would be smart. You knew so many during the Rebellion who did just that. 
Some hashed everything out in the heat of the war, sure. It was hard to get comfortable. It was hard to know which base would be your last, which fight would end it all. Some people chased comfort, wanting to get close to each other while they had the chance.
But others wanted to wait, to make sure they were going to make it to see the peace after the war, and whatever relationship, whatever life awaited them after.
You rolled onto your side, staring at the wall. You wonder if he knew the way he had his hand wrapped around your heart, a little X-Wing orbiting it around and around.
Tomorrow, you promised yourself. Tomorrow you’d say something, up in the X-Wing with him. Arms around you, chest pressed against your back, legs tangled in the cockpit. And one way or the other, you’d finally have your answer.
This time, when you fell asleep, the only thing you dreamt of were his lips.
The Crash
The next morning, Poe met you and the others for breakfast, already dressed in his orange jumpsuit, the collar flipped open. You could not keep the smile off your face at the sight.
“I can’t believe this is really what does it for you.” He laughed, drunk off the look in your eyes.
“It suits you.” You said, eyes lingering on the collar, fighting the urge to reach out and fix it. You rummaged around your mind for some quip to fire back, but came up empty. He’d stolen the words right from your mouth.
The group of you finished eating and Poe cleared your plate, leading you towards the hangar. 
“I don’t have it painted yet, but the mechs checked over it yesterday and gave me the okay.” Poe explained.
“So we’re not going to crash, is what you’re saying.”
“Not with a Jedi on board.” He said, eyes meeting yours. “I still think about that transport you caught. I didn’t know you could just…do that.”
“Took a while to get to that point. Ships are heavy. It helps if I’m not fighting the trajectory. Laesynda’s ship was on its way down, I just…cushioned the fall.” You explained.
“You’re real humble for a Jedi, you know.”
“You think so?”
“More humble than I would be if I could lift spacecrafts with my mind.”
“Oh I’m aware, flyboy. If you were out here with a lightsaber, none of us would ever hear the end of it.” You teased, looking over his flightsuit, still enamored. “You’re already an ace pilot, you can’t possibly have all the skills.”
He opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by the harsh blare of a distress signal. The two of you looked at each other before booking it to the strategy table, where Leia was, hand still over the button.
“It’s one of our settlements. First Order troops on the ground, TIE fighters.” She made eye contact with you, Rey running into the room right after. “Kylo is with them.”
She dispatched groups of fighters, sent you and Rey and sent out the Black Squadron. Poe marched through the hangar, yelling orders, getting his team ready for battle. You forced your eyes away from him as he loaded BB-8 into his X-Wing, strapped your saber to your belt, and loaded onto a transport with Rey and Finn.
Soren walked over, saber at the ready. You stopped him with a shake of your head, something akin to a maternal look in your eye. “I need you here. It’s just Kylo. Rey and I can handle him.”
“I’m ready.”
“I know you are.” You said, hands on his shoulders. “That’s why I need you here. Someone’s gotta protect the base.”
He nodded, understanding. He took a few steps back, standing with the others as they saw you all off.
You made eye contact with Poe, one last lingering glance before he climbed into the cockpit and took off into the sky, blasting off at lightspeed with the rest of his squadron to clear way for your transport.
The ramp of the transport closed and Finn looked at you. “He’s like you. Soren.”
“Reckless?” You asked.
He shook his head, eyes serious and warm. “Brave.”
You smiled at the thought and put a hand on Finn’s arm. “So are you.”
The ride was short, but shaky. You didn’t like turbulence, especially in a craft that only had thin, tiny windows. It left you uneasy. But eventually, you touched down, saber in hand, leading the charge with Rey.
There were dozens of Stormtroopers, opening fire on not only the scattered Resistance members, but any civilians they could get their hands on. You put yourself between them, deflecting their shots with a few swings of the saber. The fighters that had come with you ran out of the ship, assessing the situation and adjusting as quickly as possible.
In the air, a battle had broken out as well, X-Wings and TIE fighters firing at each other, as well as the ground below them. You tried to identify which ship was Poe’s. You could feel him up there, but it was hard to get a lock. All you knew was that it was a black ship, an orange stripe painted down the side. Black Squadron.
Another trooper shot at you you and you shifted into battle mode. You used the Force to mow over a row of troopers, pushing them onto their backs in the dirt and leaving them scrambling to get back to their feet. One came at you with a melee weapon, electrified, but you did away with it quickly, using the Force to throw him at a tank, the force of it taking out the canon with a loud explosion.
More troopers focused their aim on you and quickly met the same fate.
Overhead, an X-Wing twirled around, almost drifting through the air and taking out one, two, three TIE fighters in quick succession, firing at a cluster of troopers on the ground immediately after. That had to be Poe.
Another turret fired near the civilians and you ran towards it, using your wings to get some height and jumping up the length of it, burying your saber in the metal paneling on the side and riding it back down to the ground as it was destroyed in a cloud of fire and smoke.
Finn ushered civilians to safety, taking out any troopers that got close with a well-placed blast. Rey worked with you to take out the remaining turrets, keeping the troopers at bay as more of them unloaded from landing transports.
You heard a boom overhead and looked, hoping to see a TIE fighter on its way down, but instead catching sight of an X-Wing, black and orange, one of its engines engulfed in flames.
You reached up and caught it with the Force, directing it away from the thick trees it was aimed towards and turning the nose, bringing it down gently in a clearing of grass and dirt, away from the immediate violence on the sprawling battlefield. You didn’t have time to worry if it might be Poe climbing out of it. Didn’t even have time to think before you saw him.
Kylo Ren.
His saber glowed red, contrasting against the lush green of the planet you were standing on, his kyber crystal obviously damaged, the way its blade was flared. He’d forced it too hard, been too rough with it. Maybe that was why the offshoots were there, to redirect the excess energy.
He was dressed like a shadow, long and sleek, all in black, face covered up by that helmet. It was better that way. You were afraid of finding too much of your friends in his broken gaze. Leia. Han. In another life, you may have been something like an aunt to him. Now he stood in front of you, a monster. 
And he was headed right towards you, strides long and elegant.
“Mothim said you were awake, your Highness. It’s time to see if you really are the thing of legends.” He twirled his saber, voice distorted beyond anything human. An intimidation tactic, no doubt, in addition to the obvious imitation of one Darth Vader.
“Ah yes, my best friend’s biggest disappointment. I keep hearing about you, and I have to admit. You’re a lot taller than I expected.”
He raised his hand attempting to use the Force to…you weren’t sure. Grab you, choke you, but you had your shields up, always did, blocking out his attempt. “You’re good.”
“I have to be.” You replied, readying your saber, stretching out your neck.
He swung at you and you deflected, angling carefully to avoid the reach of the flares near the hilt of his saber. So that’s what they were for. One wrong move and it would be your hand he was slicing off. You countered, using your wings to spin into position, leveraging an attack that he dodged, his saber clashing loudly with your own.
“Tell me, did you really face Vader by yourself, or did you have Skywalker to help you?” He locked his saber with your own, mask uncomfortably close to your face. “Skywalker is dead now. I saw to that myself. I finished the work that Vader could not.”
You let out a cold laugh at that. “You’re not Vader. You’re not even close.”
That definitely pissed him off. He let out a strangled yell, running at you with full force. You dodged with a leap, spinning out of the way. He took the opportunity to take a swing at your wings, which flared in reply, flattening themselves out of his reach. Your foot swept through the dirt as you landed, breaking your somewhat clumsy fall.
That had been a targeted attack. Straight for the wings. Not your arm. Not your saber. Your wings.
Rey came over next, putting herself between the two of you, battling him with a rage you knew had to be personal. You could feel that they were connected. Always had been. There were layers here that you did not quite understand yet. But she still fought him, moves quick and deliberate and instinctual.
You jumped back in alongside her, red clashing against blue and pink, sparks flying. Some of the brush caught fire, but never fully ignited, instead filling the ground between you with smoke, partially obstructing the rest of the fight.
You landed a hit on his leg, slashing into the skin. Rey got him on the opposite arm and he let out a burst of Force energy that sent you both flying. You used your wings to recover, repositioning mid-air, an outstretched hand slowing Rey’s trajectory as well, just before the back of her head hit a tree.
“RETREAT!” Kylo screeched, his voice echoing through the trees, birds scattering at the loud, distorted cry.
You’d hurt him. Bad. You could see the blood pooling in the dirt as he stalked away.
The Stormtroopers and other forces retreated into the transports that hadn’t already been blown up. The remaining TIE fighters, few though there were, hopped to lightspeed. One of the X-Wings shot a few transports on their way into the atmosphere, but other than that, the fight was over.
You found Finn among the crowd, making sure he was uninjured. He was fine. There had been some injuries, but no casualties, even among the civilians, who were cheering and embracing, celebrating their safety for the moment.
You looked over at the crashed X-Wing, smoking at the edge of the field and ran over to it, wings carrying you farther and faster than you’d flown in years, just a handful of feet above the grass. You landed on one of the wings and used the Force to pop open the cockpit, the windshield cracked, the pilot still inside.
She tugged off her helmet, long brown hair cascading down her shoulders. Jessika. Not Poe.
You offered her a hand, helping her out. She looked up at you, awe in her eyes, her hand wrapping around yours. You used your wings to lower the both of you gently to the ground.
“Are you alright?”
“I swore I was going to crash. You…you saved my life.” She rushed into your arms and you held her, rocking her comfortingly. “How do I even begin to repay you for that?”
“You don’t. We’re all in this together.” You assured her, wiping some of the soot from her face with a gentle hand. “Now let’s get you back to base. I’m sure there’s lots of room for you on the transport.”
One of the Resistance members from the planet rushed over, putting out her smoking X-Wing engine with a fire extinguisher. “We’ll take care of this. Get it repaired as soon as possible.”
Jessika exchanged some words with the mech, arranging something of a plan to come get it before following you and the others back onto the transport.
“Are you alright?” You asked Rey, checking all your bases, counting faces and heads.
“I’m fine. Are you?”
“I’m good. He…I don’t know what he knows about Mariposans, but he was locked in on my wings.” You said, shivering at the thought. “Someone must have told him to aim there.”
“You think the First Order has a Mariposan?”
“Maybe.” You said. “He…he mentioned someone named Mothim. That’s…vaguely Mariposan-sounding.”
You watched the sky, the X-Wings rounding up. Jessika had her helmet tucked under her arm, which started talking, Poe’s voice coming through the headset. You could have cried with relief that he was alright.
“Pava, come in. Are you alive out there? We don’t have eyes on your X-Wing.”
“I’m alive, Black Leader. Boarding one of the transports on the ground. They hit me in the right wing, but one of the Jedi caught me on the way down.”
He chuckled and you could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “That is great news. We’ll see you back at base.”
You watched as the X-Wings took off, hitting lightspeed in rapid succession. Your own transport followed suit not long after, once everyone was accounted for and all the systems had been checked for damage. You breathed, focusing on the quiet until finally, the ship landed and the ramp lowered.
You walked out, surveying the crowd of celebrating rebels when you spotted BB-8 whirring at you at full speed, beeping a mile a minute. He looked you up and down and then sped away, straight to Poe, who looked down at him. His little head swivelled to you and back.
“(Y/N)!”
Poe sprinted over, pulling you into his arms the second he was close enough. He let out a long breath, his gloved hand cradling the back of your head as he held you. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his shoulder, wings twitching before relaxing completely.
“You…you’re alright? I saw him go after you. I wanted to shoot, but I couldn’t get a clean shot.” He said, regret in his voice, guilt on his brow.
“I’m okay, Poe. Really.” You told him, pulling away for a moment to get a glimpse at his face, check him over for injuries. There was sweat dotted on his forehead, wetting the curls at the edge of his hairline. “I thought it was your ship coming down. I was so scared.”
He shook his head, taking a moment to peel off his gloves so he could touch your cheek with his hand, skin impossibly warm. He rested his forehead against yours, the movement familiar and comfortable. “You saved one of my pilots. I…just when I think you can’t possibly impress me more…”
You wanted to kiss him so badly. So, so badly. Just surge forward and collect his lips as he uttered his sweet, flattering words. You could tell he wanted it, too. That victory kiss.
“Poe…” You murmured, mouth impossibly close.
“I’m right here, baby.” He whispered in response, voice gentle, eyes soft. Sparkling with anticipation. “We’re okay.”
Your breath hitched at the petname, heart racing faster than his X-Wing. You repeated his words. “We’re okay.”
He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. He took a long breath and then hooked an arm around your waist again, pulling you close as he pressed a long kiss to your cheek. He buried his face in your shoulder, inhaling what was left of your perfume, diluted, you were sure, by the smoke from the battle.
Mood lightening considerably once he’d processed that you were actually okay, that you’d won, that you and Rey had fought off Kylo Ren, he chuckled to himself, remembering your original  plans for the day.
“Sorry about our date, but…she’s probably gonna need some repairs before I take her up again.” He looked back at his X-Wing, untangling himself from you, but keeping an arm anchored around your waist, just beneath the base of your wings. It tickled, where his orange sleeve touched the soft tissue, but you didn’t dare move him.
BB-8 beeped up at him, agitated.
“I was careful, Bee, why do you think we’re standing here?”
He beeped something complimentary of your performance out in the battle.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” He grinned, proud. “Really, you were awesome out there.”
“So were you, flyboy. I lost count of how many TIE fighters you took down. Are you sure you’re not Force sensitive?”
He smiled that prettyboy smile, reaching over to wipe some soot from your face, thumb moving deliberately, focused on one spot. “Pretty sure. I’ve just had a lot of practice.”
You saw Soren, ready to approach you, but giving you a minute with your pilot. You nodded at him, a promise that you’d be over there soon.
“I better check on my team. Make sure everyone’s in one piece.” Poe said, looking back towards the hangar where the pilots and mechs were conversing, figure out what all needed to be fixed after the skirmish. “Will, uh…would you grab dinner with me later? You know, since our date got rained out and all…”
You nodded, smiled at him. You put a hand on his cheek and guided him closer, pressing a kiss just beneath his scar. “Dinner sounds great. But when that ship is fixed, I better be first in line for that joyride you promised me.”
He laughed, nodding. “Absolutely, your Highness.”
You went your separate ways, his hand lingering on yours until the last possible second until you were finally pulled apart. And yet, as you met with the other members of the Resistance, talking over the battle, taking stock of everything, he was the only thing you could think of, the feeling of his lips still lingering against your cheek.
Vintage Diplomacy
After the battle, you spent the coming days doing strength training for your wings. Your flight across the ground had opened your eyes. If you could cover ground like that regularly, it could be lifesaving.
You’d spend mornings up in the clearing on the hill. Artoo found you up there once and asked what you were doing as you hovered, wings fluttering impossibly fast. You started with five second bursts, then ten, then twenty.
Artoo timed you, let you know when to stop. And that was how Poe found you one morning before a strategy meeting with the General, as well as her Admirals and Commanders. You’d been hovering for nearly a full minute, kicking up a small breeze in your wake.
You touched down when you saw him approaching, wings folding down with record speed as Artoo gave you the breakdown. Your longest yet. With more training, who knew? Maybe you could be the first Mariposan to rediscover the power of true flight. You could certainly hope.
You stretched out your back, hands on your hips stretching both ways. You hoped the soreness meant you were building muscle, if that was how that worked.
“Hey, Princess. Thought I might find you up here. You eat breakfast yet?”
“Yeah, I had something before I came out here.” You replied.
“Good. Meeting starts soon.”
“Thought so.” You glanced at your watch. “Shall we?”
“Lead the way.” He motioned. He was wearing a leather jacket you hadn’t seen on him yet. It was brown, a rebel patch on the shoulder. Definitely vintage.
“Cool jacket.”
“You like it?” He asked with a smirk.
“Yeah. Is it vintage?”
“It is, actually. Good eye.” He rested his hands on his belt buckle. “Not as vintage as you, of course, your Highness.”
“Hey!” You elbowed him and he elbowed you back, both of you laughing as you strode into the meeting together.
A few eyes caught you, knowing looks exchanged between the other assembled people. You said some hellos, exchanged the necessary pleasantries. You greeted your sister, who smiled warmly when she saw you and Poe walk in together.
You were sure after your little, uh, victory celebration out in the middle of the base, that everyone there must have thought you were dating behind closed doors.
You wished they were right.
Poe sat with the pilots, but you could feel his eyes on you as you mingled with the folks filing into the seats around you. Rey, as always, took the seat next to yours. On your other side, Soren. There was always a certain energy to the room when the Jedi were all together. People paid attention.
Before long, General Organa started the meeting. The main topic of interest: Resistance allies, or the lack thereof.
Since the battle at Crait, Leia had been trying to get in contact with anyone she could think of, friends new and old, anyone the Resistance had helped, but responses were few and far between. The First Order had done their best to silence or…eliminate anyone who wasn’t loyal to them.
“What we’re running low on is hope.” Leia said. “The people don’t think we stand a chance against the First Order. They’d rather hide in fear than stand up and fight. And if we don’t find some allies soon…it’s a matter of time before they take us out. We’re already running on scraps here.”
Chewbacca roared out his support.
“More outreach.” Another Admiral suggested. “The people saw what we did for them in the Endor system, that we stand up for them when it matters. Hell, we got twenty new recruits from that battle alone. When people see the difference we make, they want to fight with us.”
“I think our next move needs to be diplomacy, General. It’s been a while since we’ve had representatives at any events raising awareness.” Your sister reasoned. “How are they supposed to know we’re still here if they never see us?”
“But who would go?” Leia asked, scanning the room. “Diplomatic training hasn’t been very high on our regimen, I’m afraid.”
“I can go.” You volunteered. The eyes in the room fell on you quickly, like they’d been expecting you to say it. “The First Order already knows I’m alive, our allies should, too. They think we have one Jedi, we have three. I think that would spark quite a bit of hope, General. Besides, I have the diplomatic training and I never get to use it.”
She smiled, eyes sparkling. “I was hoping you’d say that. I did catch wind of a gala. It’s…mostly safe. Former Rebel sympathizers, a formal event. It would be as good a place as ever to make a debut. You’ll need a pilot of course, to–”
“I’ll go, General.” Poe volunteered before anyone else even had the chance. “I’ll escort the princess. It would be my honor.”
Leia gave a small, professional smile that you could tell she was all she could do to keep from laughing at the sheer speed with which he offered himself up for the mission. She thought about making him fight for it, and she knew he would. Poe Dameron was nothing if not stubborn, ambitious. It was why she respected him so much.
And at the same time, she knew exactly what would happen if she sent the two of you there, together. Alone.
Maybe it was about time.
“Great. Get packed. It’s tonight, three systems out. Take the Falcon.”
***
After the meeting, you went straight to your quarters, shuffling through your closet for anything…formal. You had a lot of Jedi robes, that was for sure, which might have suited an event like this in the olden days, before even your time, but now…all it would ensure was that you would stick out more than you already did.
“Thought I’d find you here.” Laesynda said, standing in the doorway. “I might have something that’ll work.”
You followed her to her quarters. She opened her wardrobe and pushed aside some clothes, reaching for something specific. She pulled it out with a flourish. A long, midnight blue gown. Off the shoulder. It glittered like stars and truly did look fit for a princess to wear. With it, she had a silver circlet, some silver Mariposan cuff bracelets.
“Mom’s…” You remembered, a hand drifting down the sparkling fabric.
Laesynda nodded. “I’ve been saving it for a special occasion. Maybe I knew you’d need it someday.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. Now, let’s get you dressed. Sounds like you have a flight to catch.”
Laesynda helped you into the gown, adjusting the flowing fabric so it sat just so, helping to slip your wings through the slot sewn in specifically for them. It was nice, wearing Mariposan garb again, something you didn’t have to adjust in order to wear comfortably.
She put your hair in a simple style, braiding the front pieces back, setting the circlet on your head. You put on the cuffs, put on a silver belt and strapped your saber to it, the final piece of the puzzle. The metal tones clashed, but maybe that was okay. It would stand out, at the very least.
“How do I look?”
“Like a princess.” She replied, a hand reaching out to touch your face. “And like Mom.”
You couldn’t help but tear up a little bit when she said it. She carefully tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, giving a final nod. You were ready.
You stopped back into your room, packed a bag with some essentials. Among your things, you found your wooden box of Rebel memorabilia. Pins, cuff links, a pair of dangling silver earrings. You tucked it into the bag as well, along with another change of clothes for after the party. As gorgeous as the gown was, you doubted you’d want to be in it all night. You knew how these kinds of parties went. They were long and socially exhausting. You’d be longing for those Resistance standard sweatpants at the end of it.
There was a knock on the doorframe, your door still open. You expected it to be Laesyndra, having forgotten something. Instead, it was Poe, holding a garment bag that you assumed contained his formal wear.
“Tried to get the General let me take my flight suit out for ya, but she wasn’t having it. You ready for–” He stared, voice dropping off once he spotted you, dressed in a dazzling, midnight gown. “Oh. Wow…”
“Ready for…?” You raised an eyebrow, walking closer with slow strides.
“For takeoff?” He asked, Adam’s apple bobbing, eyes half-lidded. “Chewie warmed up the Falcon for us.”
You smiled warmly, nodding. “All packed, Commander. Ready when you are.”
“Perfect. Right. Well, let’s…” He offered his arm and you took it, slipping your arm through his, your bag slung over the other shoulder.
You gave his bicep a playful squeeze, laughter bubbling out of your painted lips. “Loth-cat got your tongue, Dameron? It’s just me.”
He let out a chuckle, meeting your eyes. “That’s the problem, your Highness.”
This Changes Everything
Your friends saw you off, complimenting you endlessly. Rey and Rose demanded you twirl around, showing off the look, which you gladly did.
“You look dazzling, Princess.” Threepio complimented, giving a little bow, arms poised at their odd angles.
“Thank you, Threepio. It was my mother’s.” You said, a sad, proud glimmer in your eye. Poe caught it immediately.
Artoo came with, but otherwise, it was just you and Poe in that big ship. He put in the coordinates, lifted off the planet, and put it into hyperdrive, with you in the passenger seat. Once it was on autopilot, you were free to move around the cabin.
Poe took his garment bag from one of the other seats and moved towards one of the Falcon’s tiny bed cabins to change. In the meantime, you found a mirror and put in a pair of earrings from your box of Rebel trinkets. They were the Rebellion’s symbol, silver and dangling from tiny chains. They completed the look.
Poe emerged a few minutes later, wearing a dark blue formal tunic, dramatic diagonal trim highlighting his shoulders. It was paired with matching navy pants, some black loafers with silver buckles.
“There was a hat, too, but I thought it would be too much.” He said, standing stiff while you looked him over, eyes roving his figure.
“Covering hair like that would be a crime, I think.” You told him, earning a chuckle and that dashing smile.
Your eyes lingered on the ends of his sleeves and you dug around in your box until you found a pair of cufflinks. You walked over to him, grabbing his hand and inserting one of the cufflinks into the end of his sleeve.
“Where’d you get this stuff?” He asked, watching your careful movements as you switched sleeves, putting the other one in as well.
“I’ve had it. Held onto it after the war. Figured we’d wear them to…charity events or something.” You shrugged. You rummaged around the box for a lapel pin, focused as you pinned it to one side of his tunic, straightening it with a quick movement. “Never thought we’d need them for war fundraising, but here we are…”
“My parents were Rebels, you know.” He confessed, voice soft, eyes softer. He’d been holding onto it, unsure why he’d never found the opportunity to tell you until now. Maybe he was afraid the information would shift your already teetering dynamic.
“Hence the jacket.” You noted, meeting his gaze, fingers still lingering on the pin. The wheels turned in your head and your jaw dropped, finally seeing it in his face. Those brows. That nose. Those eyes. “You’re…you’re Kes Dameron’s kid.”
He chuckled and nodded, eyes sparkling. “Yeah. I am. You knew him?”
“I did know him.” You laughed to yourself shaking your head. “Maker, I can’t believe I didn’t put those pieces together. He worked with Han and the pathfinders. I worked with Leia. It was kind of inevitable that our paths crossed. He was a great guy.”
“Is a great guy.” He said. “He still lives on Yavin. That’s where I grew up.”
You hummed, nodding. “That’s really good news, Poe. I’d…I’d love to see him sometime.”
“I’m sure he’d love to see you when all of this is over.” He said, eyes softening when he spoke of home, of family. “Mom was a pilot. Maybe you knew her. Her name was Shara.”
You gasped softly. “You’re…you’re Shara’s son? Shara Bey?”
Poe nodded, smiling. “I am.”
“Poe…I…” You teared up, studying him, dividing his features in your head, which had come from Shara, from Kes. You touched his face, laughed sadly, happy memories bubbling to the surface. “Shara was…so special. She was my bunkmate on Hoth. She and I kept watch together twice a week. We ate lunch together almost every day. We shared wine bottles at parties. I…I always thought there was something going on between her and Kes, but they kept it very professional. Didn’t know they were engaged until after the war.”
Poe got a little misty, nostalgia swirled in his warm brown eyes.
“We don’t have to talk about it, I’m sorry…”
He shook his head, taking your hand and kissing the back of it. “You were there. I always forget you were there. I can’t believe you knew them…”
“Maker, I could tell you so many stories…”
“I want you to. I want to hear all about them when we get home.”
“Okay.” You nodded, shedding a single tear that he was quick to wipe away, pulling you into a hug instead.
He pressed a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms tight around your shoulders, yours wrapped around his middle. You listened to his heart, hammering away beneath his tunic. You felt his lips on your forehead again, lingering for longer this time before he rested his head against yours, swaying slightly with you in his hold.
Eventually, Artoo rolled into the room, beeping to let you know you were getting close.
“Thank you, Artoo.”
He complimented Poe’s pin with a series of beeps and Poe grinned and thanked him.
“Here, I’ve probably got a magnet in here you can wear.” You said, rummaging through your box until you found one. You knelt down and he rolled forward, letting you stick it to one of his panels.
He beeped and whirred in approval, asking how he looked.
“You look very sharp.” You assured him. “You fit right in, now.”
Poe wandered into the cockpit, standing between the back row of seats, watching as the stars flew by at lightspeed. You stepped in after him and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders without a second thought.
He was your pilot, you were his princess. That was all that mattered. You rested your head against him, watching the stars.
***
The gala was being held at a nice hotel, chandeliers glimmering above, painted portraits hanging on the wall and abstract sculptures sitting on pedestals. It reminded you of home, in a way, if Mariposas had been colorless and stiff. There was soft music playing, a band tucked into the corner of the room. Poe took your arm, escorting you through the room of senators and leaders, former Rebellion members.
It was clear that this gala was pretending to be something it was not. On the outside, it had been bolstered as an academy class reunion, probably to drive off any First Order loyalists, keep them off the trail, inside was a completely different story.
You knew these people. A lot of them, wrinkled and graying though they were. Pathfinders, pilots, ground fighters, comm techs…these had been your brothers and sisters on base, and a decent amount of them, seemingly, had bloomed into important people in their own right.
What was holding them back from helping, you wondered, scanning the room. Maybe it was just the fear of the First Order, of making themselves vulnerable just to be eliminated without a second thought. But as the eyes in the room found you, the whispers picked up, speculating how it was you were there, standing there, living and breathing after all this time.
“How’s that for a first impression…” Poe murmured, just loud enough for you to hear, watching the way these legends reacted to seeing you.
“Time to finally use these stares and whispers to our advantage.” You said, leading him over to a corner where some former fighters were standing. You picked one from the crowd, calling his name to your mind. After all, it had only been two years since you’d seen him.
“Y-your Highness?” He asked, looking you up and down. He glanced at the others, as if to make sure you weren’t some Force Ghost standing there in front of him, that they were seeing it too. “I thought you were…”
“Dead? Lots of folks seem to think so.” You replied, offering your hand, which he shook vigorously. “It’s good to see you, Lieutenant. How’s Marsha?”
That was how it started. You navigated through the room, a walking myth.
Once you made your rounds, Poe at your side, chatting with the people gathered there, you felt a tap on your arm and turned to find him. Lando Calrissian in the flesh.
“I was wondering if I might steal a dance, Princess. If you’re not too busy with the Commander here.” Lando motioned to Poe, whose mouth fell open at his sudden appearance.
“Lando!” You all but jumped into his arms, captured quickly in a tight hug. He swayed back and forth, laughing.
“Maker, Leia was right. You really haven’t aged a day.” He said, taking a moment to look at you. He spun you around. “Can’t say the same for the rest of us.”
“You look great Lando. I was wondering when I’d finally get to see you. How have you been?”
“Oh, same old. Leia tipped me off about this…reunion. Thought I could help finally win these stuffy old guys over.”
“No such luck, I’m guessing.” Poe said, scanning the room.
“Not yet.” Lando winked at you. “That’s why she sent her secret weapon.”
“Not so secret anymore.” You said, trying to ignore all the eyes in your peripheral vision.
Lando introduced and reintroduced you to a handful of old colleagues. One of them, a senator now, stiffened at the sight of you, looking you up and down.
“Leia…dressed you up just like her. It would be convincing, if not for the fake wings.” He said with a sneer. “Almost had me there for a second.”
You chuckled softly, malice creeping into your eyes. “Fake wings?” You repeated, raising them slightly.
“I’ve seen them in action, Senator. I assure you, these things are the real deal.” Poe said, expression guarded, tone painfully casual.
Artoo beeped something at him, agitated, but the senator batted a hand. “I don’t speak droid.”
“I can’t translate what he said anyway, it’s hardly appropriate for an event like this.” You said with a laugh. “Do you need another drink?”
“That’s not–” He started to argue, but you held out a hand, using the Force to pull a champagne flute from across the room. It glided smoothly through the air and hovered in front of him. He stared at it, dropping the empty glass in his own hand. He looked up at you in horror as Poe laughed. “You’re her.”
“Obviously.” You replied, plucking the drink from the air and handing it to him. “I know it’s hard to believe. It’s a long story, but I was saved by one very daring pilot, a Jedi, and a fighter after a long time asleep. Imagine my surprise at waking up to another war.”
He shook his head, brows furrowed. “What war?”
“The First Order. The Resistance. Are you unaware of the conflicts, or just too callous to care this time, elevated position and all?” You asked.
“The need for fighting is over.” He said, shaking his head. “I had my war, I’m sure we can all just live in peace.”
“Senator, I don’t know if you’ve been out there, but it’s bad.” Poe said, eyes serious. “What they did to the New Republic…”
“Was a horrible incident, I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean we can all just…hop in an X-Wing and blow things up.”
You laughed at that. “You didn’t even do that the first time. You failed your flight test, if I remember correctly, Senator. Was it two times, or three?”
He scoffed, clearly offended. “Well, I–”
Poe’s eyes lit up, watching as you warmed up to take your shot.
“Don’t you remember what things were like? Under the Empire? Maybe it’s been too long for you. I know thirty years is a long time to hold onto memories, but…it’s only been two years for me. Two years since the Battle of Endor. Two years of quiet after. I remember how bad it was and this is worse. The weapons they have, the forces, the numbers. They have a Sith trying to outshine Darth Vader and Maker knows what else hidden on those Star Destroyers. They are taking children and ruining lives. One of our best friends is a former trooper. I wish he was here to tell you himself the horrors he’s seen aboard those vessels. They can destroy planets with a few button presses. Maybe you feel safe right now. Maybe you’re playing into their pocket, who knows, but someday, they’ll turn on you, too, and there will be no one left to protect you because you didn’t help the Resistance fight back.”
The room fell silent, every ear tuning into your fiery words. Lando let out a proud little laugh.
Someone across the room stepped forward, meeting your eyes. Wedge. Wedge Antilles. One of the best Rebel pilots there was. He’d been great friends with Luke, so you’d known him pretty well. It was good to see he was still around.
“Well, your Highness, where do we sign up?”
***
After a few more hours of networking, of Poe handing out tokens for further communication, taking pledges and handing out contact information for any people they knew who’d like to enlist in the Rebellion, the three of you–you, Poe and Artoo, that is–said your goodbyes and headed back to the ship.
As soon as the ramp was closed, Poe’s face broke into a victorious smile and he took you in his arms, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. Laughter bubbled from your lips.
“That was insane!” A triumphant laugh escaped him. “You flipped that whole room in less than a minute! I…I…” He set you down, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “I can’t believe that just happened. This changes…everything. We’re gonna have so many new recruits. We’re gonna be able to get so many supplies…”
“New pilots?” You asked.
“New X-Wings. New ships. New blasters. Kriff, new uniforms, even.” He smiled, grabbing onto your arms, just above the flowing, off-the-shoulder sleeves. “Wow, I dunno, I had my doubts when Leia sent me four systems out for a shiny rock, but…I don’t know what we’d do without you here.” He met your eyes, took a step closer, dipped his head down. “I don’t know what I’d do without you here…”
You couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t dance around him and pretend your heart wasn’t on fire just looking at him.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and tugged him closer, lips capturing his easily, as you had in your fantasies so many times. He gasped into your mouth, arms winding around your waist and pulling you against him, lips passionate and experienced. Poe held you there with one arm, the other traveling up into your hair.
Your nose brushed against his as he twisted, getting an even better angle, teeth nipping at your lip. You reached up and cupped his cheek, thumb brushing through the stubble accumulated there.
He pulled back, forehead against yours, breaths ragged as his eyes searched your face, looking for some evidence that that had happened, that it was real this time.
“Say something,” you whispered, hand still anchored against his cheek, eyes sparkling with insecurity. “Please.”
“Give me a second. I’ve never kissed a princess before.” He murmured, kissing your forehead, then your cheeks, pressing another long one to your lips. Soft, but filled with so much passion. He let out a breathy chuckle, meeting your eyes. “Maker, you have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of doing that.”
You bit your lip, a guilty little smile twisting your mouth. “Actually, about that…”
Poe’s eyes widened, jaw dropping before the shock melted into an embarrassed grin. “You…you could feel it, huh? The whole time?”
“More or less.” You confessed. You pulled him back into you and he didn’t resist, nose brushing yours as you whispered, “I couldn’t tell if they were your fantasies or mine, to be honest.”
He stepped forward, cupping your cheek as he captured your lips again, hungrier this time, lit up by your words, by your confession, that you had felt this way about him for just as long as he’d been drawn to you.
Another step forward and your exposed back touched the cold metal of a wall panel, one of Poe’s hands taking yours, fingers interlacing as he held it up against the wall. His other hand tugged your waist closer, closer, closer, like he was trying to fuse the two of you into one person.
You crooned, hooking your arm around his neck, keeping him there.
“Tell me to stop,” he rasped, lips trailing down your neck before crushing against yours again. “Use one of your Jedi Mind Tricks or something.”
“I can’t.” You laughed against him. “They wouldn’t work on you anyway and…I don’t want you to stop.”
“Well good, because I don’t think I can…” He said with a chuckle, nose smushed against yours. He kissed you again, movements tender and slow, smiling against you when he heard your breath hitch. “I thought Jedi weren’t allowed to fall in love. I would have done this so much sooner…”
You laughed. “That’s what was stopping you? I thought you weren’t afraid of bending the rules, Commander.”
Poe let out a breath, smirking. “Well yeah, but…you’re a princess. I thought you might not be so keen on rulebreaking.”
“Well the good news is, there aren’t any rules against Jedi falling in love anymore.” You murmured, resting your forehead against his, hands tugging on the trim of his tunic. “But if there were…I would break them for you, Poe Dameron.”
He grinned that flyboy grin, going in for one last kiss, then another, then one final, lingering kiss, stealing the breath from your lungs, the butterflies in your stomach flying loop-de-loops that rivaled any maneuver he could pull off with his X-Wing.
Soon, you knew you’d have to fly back to base, update Leia on the progress you’d made, return to your schedules and duties.
But now, you shared your breaths with him, heart racing as he cupped your cheeks, whispering sweet words against your lips, promises to steal away more time together as soon as the Maker would allow.
A Little Rebel Spirit
Poe slept in your bed that night.
Your mattress was hardly big enough for one of you let alone both of you, but he didn’t mind, changing out of his formal tunic, carefully returning your Rebellion trinkets to their special little box, and laying in your bed, watching you, hands folded on his toned tan chest, the chain around his neck glimmering against his skin.
You’d changed into some sleep shorts and a tanktop you’d modified for your wings. When you turned to face him again in the dim bedroom, he gasped, eyes falling on your thigh. More specifically, the large tattoo piece stretched across your skin.
“You have a tattoo?” He asked, almost scandalized. “Princess, I knew you were a Rebel, but I didn’t know you were so rebellious.”
“You wanna know what’s rebellious…Leia did this.” You said, fingers skimming over the artwork.
His jaw dropped. “No fucking way.”
“Yes way.” You nodded, walking over to the bed and sat beside him, propping your leg atop his so he could see better.
He ran a large hand over the tattoo, the sheer warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine. “When?”
“Three years ago.” You answered, before correcting “Thirty-three years ago. We were on some planet, there was a market and she got a tattoo gun for like…twelve credits, which should have been the first red flag.”
“And you let her do that?” He asked, laughing.
“Well yeah. She’s my best friend. I knew it would drive my parents nuts, their second in line for the throne defiling her skin, but…I didn’t really expect to survive the war, to be honest. Besides, I was the spare, what were they gonna do about it? I knew I was never going to be queen.” You said with a shrug. “It’s not half bad anyways. She’s a talented artist.”
“This is…that tree, isn’t it. The one on Mariposas.” He said, studying the lines, the shading. It was a large, sprawling tree, branches thick, covered in flowers. Roots twisted down your thigh, headed towards your knee, and in the roots, were a few stray butterflies. Above it, three moons, their shaded crescents in various stages of their cycles.
You nodded. “The Monarch Tree. From which, all life on Mariposas bloomed, or so the legends go.” You guided his hand further down the art, to where the roots curled into a subtle version of the symbol of the Rebellion. “This was by special request.”
His features glowed with recognition and he met your eyes, reaching up to smooth the hair out of your face. “Wow, that’s…that’s really hot, I’ll be honest.”
You giggled, shifting your body towards him. “Yeah? A little Rebel spirit is what does it for you?”
“You’re one to talk. You’re into that silly orange jumpsuit of mine.” He teased, hand hooking your knee and tugging your leg to the other side of his hips, so you were straddling him, hovering inches from his face.
Your wings twitched behind you as you cupped his face with both hands, nose pressed to his. Tenderly, slowly, you inched in, grinning when he got impatient and chased your lips, hands wandering up to your waist to tug you closer.
“You know, honestly Poe, it’s not so much the jumpsuit as it is the thought of…taking it off of you. How easy it would be to just…reach out and unzip it a little.” Mischief glimmered in your eyes. “With the Force.”
He let out a broken groan at that, throwing his head back towards the wall. “You can’t just say that when I’m not wearing it.”
You smiled, coy. “Next time, perhaps.”
“Oh, there’s no question about that, sweetheart.” He had fire in his eyes when he pulled you towards him, crushing his lips to yours, tongue teasing at the seam between your mouths. You let him in, the taste of him rolling across your tongue, minty fresh from his toothpaste.
You threaded your fingers through his curls, letting out a whine when his lips left yours and started trailing down your neck, stubble rough against the sensitive skin. His hand ghosted up your back, finding the base of your wings, calloused fingertips brushing against the spot between them.
Tingles shot through your limbs like firecrackers and you crumbled against him.
He froze, the panic setting in. “Woahhh, sorry, sorry, is that not an okay spot?”
You took a deep breath, reaching up to cup his cheek, turning his face towards you as best you could from your spot tucked into his shoulder. You laughed sheepishly, cheeks flushed. “S’fine, Poe. I’m okay.”
“No, if it’s not fine, you need to tell me. Baby, I’ve never…touched a Mariposan before, I don’t know what I’m doing.” He confessed.
“It’s…that spot is the most sensitive spot on my whole body.” You said through laughs, pulling his face down to meet yours. “So we just went zero to a thousand all at once.”
“Oh.” He laughed. “So it’s a no-go zone.”
“It’s a ‘we have to work up to that’ zone.” You amended, pressing a kiss to his lips, adjusting yourself so you were a little more upright. “You can touch it, but…it has to be featherlight. Unless we’ve gotten there.”
“Okay.” He nodded, nose brushing against yours. “So, do they…have feeling in them?” He asked, hand hovering just above the crest of one of your wings, still a little afraid to outright touch them, despite the fact that he already had, that night in the kitchens.
“Mmhmm.” You spread one out for him, an invitation. “You can touch them. Just be gentle. Like before.”
Poe reached out, running the palm of his hand down the length of one wing, tingles running down your back as he did.
You let out a contented sigh, lulling against his chest as your muscles relaxed.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yeah.” You kissed his cheek, then the corner of his lips, hand resting against his chest. “It’s like…having your hair played with.”
He smiled at that, continuing the gentle movements while you were curled up in his arms. He kissed you again, lips impossibly soft, like silk, the fine royal satins your sheets on Mariposas had been made of.
“You’re the only one allowed to touch them, though.” You told him.
“Just me?” He asked, absolutely enamored.
“Just you.” You punctuated it with a kiss that he readily reciprocated. “It’s…seen as a romantic thing, on Mariposas. Wing-touching is…very personal.”
“So when you let me touch them that night…”
“I was making a move, more or less. I knew you wouldn’t take it that way, though. It doesn’t mean much to outsiders.”
“It meant everything to me, Princess.” He whispered, kissing your forehead. He basked in the proximity, of the feeling of you in his arms, the way you slotted perfectly against him, like you were made for him. “Should have done my research. Would have saved us both some time.”
You laughed. “I doubt Laesynda would have told you that.”
“True.” He went quiet for a while, thinking over something before asking, “Do you…miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“Just…the way things were, before you went to sleep.” He asked. 
You could tell it had been weighing on him. If you missed people from before. If you missed the relationships you’d had. If you missed Luke.
“Sometimes. I miss Mariposas a lot. I miss my family. I didn’t even get the privilege of losing them, really, I just woke up and…they were gone. Had been gone for decades. I miss Han. I miss Luke…but…He left me there. He just…left me there to sleep for thirty years, so…” You let out a breath. “I try not to miss him more than he missed me.”
He nodded, listening quietly, hand still gently passing over your wing, the sensation soothing in indescribable ways. It had been so long since someone had touched you like that. If he kept at it, he would lull you right to sleep.
“But I like this life, too. I like training with Rey and Soren. I like making a difference again, fighting for something important. And someday, when the war is over, I’ll get to figure out what that peace looks like for me again.” You reached up, thumb gently grazing the skin beneath that tiny scar on his cheekbone. You pulled him to you, locking in a slow, sensual kiss. “I like you most of all, Poe Dameron.”
He smirked. “You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not.” You shook your head, eyes earnest. “You saved my life. You found that pendant. You woke me up. And every day since then, you’ve been finding little pieces of my heart I thought I’d lost decades ago.”
His lips captured yours again, breathing into it. They wandered, down your cheek, past your jaw, down to your neck again. You laced your fingers through his curls, relishing in the burn of his stubble against your skin.
“Maker, I’m so glad we found you…”
He whispered against the sensitive spot he’d found on your neck, the words echoing off the caverns of your mind. That voice. Those words.
It was him. Obviously it was, but the realization still struck you to your core. You’d dreamed of this, dreamed of him for years, and now he was finally yours.
Your pilot. Your Poe.
Can’t Change the Past, Starlight
You and Poe walked down to breakfast separately the next morning. He slipped out of your room carefully, watching for any techs that might be walking by, and hurrying from your room to his to change into some real clothes, as all he had in your room was the formal tunic Leia had loaned him. 
You timed your exit about fifteen minutes after, and ran into Rey and Finn in the hallway.
“How did it go?” Finn asked. “I was kind of worried. I never heard Poe come into the room last night.”
“Oh it was great. I’m sure we’ll hash it all out in the meeting later. Lots of new pledges, hopefully lots of new recruits, too. Ran into Lando Calrissian. He’s…an old friend.”
Rey’s jaw dropped. “The Lando Calrissian. Is he joining the Resistance?”
“He’s thinking about it.” You said with a smirk. “He’s always been hard to pin down, but I have a good feeling he’ll come around. Maker knows we could use his help.”
The canteen was bustling with folks, starting their day. Poe was sitting at the usual table with Rose. You grabbed some breakfast and slid into the seat across from him. A calculated move. He slid you a cup of caf, just the way you liked it.
“There you are. I was worried you’d gotten lost on the way to our room.” Finn said, searching Poe’s face. “Where’d you end up last night?”
“I…slept on the couch down in the lounge. Didn’t wanna wake you, we got back really late.” Poe lied.
Alright, you were officially doing this. You were officially hiding your relationship. It was kind of thrilling, you had to admit.
“Mmm.” Finn nodded, not buying it in the slightest. “Well, how’d it go?”
“Fantastic. (Y/N) has a real way with words.” Poe said, eyes sparkling. “Flipped the whole room, had everyone all fired up. We got so many new pledges and allies. It’s gonna take the droids forever to get all the files sorted.”
“Like I said, diplomatic training I never use.” You said with a shrug, taking a sip of caf.
“How’d you sleep?” Poe asked, meeting your eyes.
“Slept alright. Like you said, we got back late, so I didn’t get much of it.”
“Mmm. Sorry to hear that.” He said through a grin that he hid behind his mug. “I slept great.”
You kicked his leg under the table.
After breakfast, the group of you filed into the meeting, where you were somewhat surprised to see Lando, chatting with Leia. Once she spotted you, she motioned you over, hugging you tightly.
“I never doubted you, (Y/N), but I have to admit, I didn’t expect results like these. This changes everything.”
“I’m glad I could do my part, General.” You said, eyes glimmering. You turned to Lando. “Didn’t expect you to head here so fast.”
“How could I not? You need help. I should have been here a long time ago.” He said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. Just like old times. “I’m here for whatever you need, ladies. Just say the word.”
“Well right now, I need someone wrangling the new recruits. They need to be rounded up from outposts in the Outer Rim.” Leia said.
Lando saluted. “Just give me coordinates and a ship. I can make it happen.”
You left the two of them, turning to sit in your usual seat with the other Jedi. This meeting was a little more broad, more of the operatives from the middle ranks present in addition to the higher-ups.
Laesynda walked past, letting her hand brush on yours as she passed, a knowing smile on her face.
You avoided Poe’s gaze purposefully, but you could feel it on you from across the table. Business as usual, you supposed. He was always giving you those lovesick looks, but now there was something more in those warm brown eyes of his. You loved the feeling.
Leia started the meeting, opening with words of congratulations, the numbers from the previous night broken down in the projection on the holo in the middle of the room. The team burst into applause, several congratulative whoops and hollers sounding. Snap jostled Poe’s shoulder and he finally met your eyes, giving you that charming flyboy wink, handsome features illuminated in the teal light.
Leia moved to the next order of business, the intel Lando had been hard at work gathering. About Mariposas.
“The attack on Mariposas…I believe it was an inside job.” Lando said.
Your heart dropped into your stomach, ears ringing. You looked at Laesynda and she shared the same grim expression you were sure was on your face. You felt Poe’s eyes on you, watching as the rug was torn from beneath your feet.
“I don’t mean to impede on our celebration, I just…With three prominent Mariposans among our ranks, I think it’s a logical conclusion that…two of them were the targets of the original attack. So whoever tipped off the Empire splinter cells, if they’re still alive, could be interested in…”
“Finishing the job.” You said, suddenly exhausted.
“Yeah.” Lando nodded.
He brought up some diagnostics, a map of the planet, a breakdown of the attack. He talked those who were unfamiliar with it through what had happened. You watched as red bloomed across the Healer’s Temple, right where you were, blaster fire taking out the Refuge, where the Healers had retreated. A light attack up front to scare them, a heavy attack on their hiding spot to finish them off.
Immediately, you knew Lando was right. It was an inside job. Only someone who knew the innerworkings of the palace would have known the Healers retreated there in the case of an emergency. Someone who had grown up there, perhaps.
You bristled, watching as the attack continued, further details selling his point further. This was an attack that had been planned and executed by someone intimately familiar with your home. And someone who wanted you dead. Or at the very least, didn’t want you to wake up.
“Maddox.” The name left your mouth coated in venom. “My brother. Had to have been. Only the royal family would have known all of this, to exploit every weak spot in order.”
“Why would your brother…” Poe started, finally daring to speak up.
“He was jealous.” Laesynda said, the memories of him weighing her down, too. “Always jealous. He was the oldest, the heir to the throne. It still wasn’t enough for him. He was jealous (Y/N) was the Jedi of the family. Wanted it to be him.”
“Couldn’t have been our parents. I was asleep, Laesynda was ten. It had to have been Maddox.” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “Maker, if he wanted me dead so bad, I don’t know why he didn’t just destroy my pod and kill me himself.”
“Because we were there.” Leia said, voice soft. “We were too late to stop the initial attack, but…Han and Lando got the shields up. I guarded your pod. Luke handled the cultists.”
You pressed your lips together, nodding. “Thank you.”
“By the time the fight was over, all of the Healers’ Pendants had been destroyed or…lost. We tried to use the Force to open your pod, but they were designed with that in mind. Only a healer could open it and they were…all gone.”
You took a long breath, nodding as she explained.
Lando looked at you, features apologetic. “And if he is indeed in the First Order, alive after all this time, it stands to reason that…he wouldn’t be happy that you’re awake again, your Highness.”
“Right. Do we have any…intel that he is? On either account, alive or currently working with the First Order?” You asked, adjusting your posture. Your wings twitched. Rey reached for your hand and you gave it to her, the touch comforting, albeit simple.
“Not yet, your Highness, but…We’re working to figure that out. I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page.” Lando said, turning the holo off with a click. “Wanted to make sure we all kept our guards up.”
Leia ran the team through a few other things, mostly preparation for new Resistance members she was anticipating. New quarters would have to be prepared, they’d have to arrange supplies and prepare to train dozens, maybe hundreds, of rookies.
After the meeting, you met Poe’s eyes for a moment. And then, you walked back to your quarters, paces brisk. Uncharacteristic of you to just leave one so early with no discussion of meal plans, no chatter with your peers, to just…disappear. Anyone who knew you would know there was something wrong. And Poe knew you.
The door slid shut behind you and you sat on the mattress, letting out a strangled yell, head in your hands, knees tucked up into your chest and wings flaring out behind you.
Your heart raced in the silence after the scream. The force of it, the Force of you had rattled the trinkets sitting on your dressers. You took a few breaths, leaning back against the wall and staring at the ceiling panel, tears streaming down your cheeks.
The door slid open again and Poe slipped inside, closing it behind him. He melted when he saw you there, looking utterly pathetic, you were sure.
“Hey, baby. You okay? That was some heavy stuff.” He crossed the room, sitting on the bed.
You shook your head and reached for him. He pulled you into his arms immediately, a large hand cradling your head, the other wrapped tight around you, legs draped over his. You buried your face in his shoulder, sobs muffled by his warmth.
He started tracing comforting patterns in your back, letting you get it all out before attempting to talk you through it.
“I feel so stupid, crying about it. It happened so long ago…” You confessed, voice soft and broken.
“Not for you.” Poe reasoned, pressing a kiss to your hairline. One gentle hand found your cheek and he used his thumb to gently wipe your tears away. “Everyone here knows it’s still fresh for you. Of course you’re torn up about it, I would be, too.”
You nodded, sniffling. “I always knew he hated me, but…I guess I just never knew how much. I thought after Endor, everything would cool off. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. It was quiet for a while, sure, but…I wasn’t here when things started getting bad. I wasn’t here to help when things got worse…”
He listened, empathy rooted deep in his warm brown eyes. “You’re here now.”
“Yeah, but…”
“What happened, happened. We can’t change the past, starlight.” He said, readjusting his hold, one arm cradling you while the other nestled against your cheek, still gently dabbing at your tears as they fell. “I’m just glad you’re here now. For selfish and unselfish reasons. Rey needs you. I need you. You’ve got a lot of good to do here, and you’ve already done so much.”
You nodded, absorbing his words. He was right. He always seemed to be. “What do you have going on today? Is there somewhere you need to be?”
“It can wait. I’m needed here.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your nose, gentle smile turning mischievous with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Besides, they’ll never find me in here.”
You couldn’t help but laugh a little. Poe never failed to bring a smile to your face, even when you were feeling like this.
“It’ll be alright, baby.” He reassured. The name still made your heart do flips in your chest. You much preferred it to your stuffy royal titles.
You sat further upright, kissing his soft pink lips. He kissed back, hand tilting your face just so with passionate precision. “I know it will. We’ll make sure of it this time.”
Rise of the Resistance
It wasn’t long before the new recruits started showing up. Lando ran what was akin to a shuttle service for a few weeks, running back and forth in a tiny transport, trying to avoid as much attention as possible. So far, it had worked.
The new folks were a bright bunch. Among them, Wedge Antilles, who had left behind his flight school, taking most of his pupils with him to help the cause.
“You know, as weird as this sounds, I missed it, Princess.” He admitted, hands on his hips, looking around the base, where soldiers ran in neat columns for their morning workout.
“Missed that Rebel air?”
He grinned. “Exactly that.”
Snap walked over, hugging him tightly and that was how you found out Wedge was Snap’s step-dad. Maker, it was a small galaxy after all. You and the other Jedi took a break from training, trying to help everyone get acclimated. You helped with giving tours, showed rookies where to get their breakfast and sleep, teaching them emergency protocol.
You set up a meditation room in an empty storage shed. It left something to be desired, but it was dimly lit, had some soft music playing, various toys and activities for Force training, cushions on the floor for those who could not float in the air while they meditated.
Aspen led some of the new recruits through while you were organizing your books.
“And this is Princess (Y/N) (L/N) of Mariposas, one of three Jedi we have on base.” She motioned to you. “If any of you think you might be Force-Sensitive, this is who you want to come to with questions.”
“We are always looking for new Jedi.” You said. “But this room is for everybody. If you need to get away for a bit, feel free to come here, do some meditation, read. It’s here for you. It gets rough out there, you need to take care of yourselves.”
Hours later, you had a tour group of your own, leading them through the comms center, then the mech workshop, droid repair, where BB-8 was getting a fresh paint job and beeped and whirred at you excitedly.
You led them past the hangar, where there were pilots milling around, about to head out on a perimeter check. Poe was there, stretching in that orange jumpsuit of his. You couldn’t fight the grin that formed when he spotted you, lighting up. He walked over, introducing himself to the group.
“Any pilots?” He asked, scanning your recruits, standing right next to you, hands on his hips, but his elbow brushing your side.
Professional. So, painfully professional.
“Reggie there.” You pointed him out and Reggie volunteered himself with a proud hand in the air.
“That’s the spirit. Welcome to the team, Reg.” He looked at you, glancing at your holo to take a peek at your schedule. “They’re not giving you too much trouble, I hope.”
“Nope, I’m all set with these guys. Bright bunch.” You replied, meeting those warm brown eyes, where mischief always seemed to sparkle.
“Right. Good. So, you don’t have anything penciled in after lunch?”
“I do not.” You confirmed.
“Alright. Well, uh, I’ve gotta hop in that X-Wing for perimeter checks. See you around, your Highness.” He promised, eyebrow quirked. He turned to Reggie. “Nice to meet you, Reggie. I’ll make sure you get acclimated.”
“Thank you, sir.” Reggie replied, starstruck.
You gave Poe a parting smile. Once the group had turned away, you glanced back. He motioned to the zipper of his jumpsuit, then looked at you with over-exaggerated expectation. Your jaw dropped and you rolled your eyes, laughing. Here in front of all of these people was not where you intended to use the Force to unzip his jumpsuit.
Still, you pinched your fingers together, focusing for a moment as you tugged it down the tiniest bit, just enough to tease him. He gasped, clearly not expecting you to actually do it. The way his eyes lit up, though, you could tell he was into it. Perhaps too into it.
The group didn’t notice, too busy buzzing about their future roles. Some of them were buzzing about other topics, like how hot your boyfriend was.
You moved them along to the next spot on the tour, but one of them pushed.
“Who was that?”
“Who, Commander Dameron?”
“He’s a Commander.” She giggled with the girl beside her. They couldn’t have been older than nineteen. It was kind of cute, admittedly. Harmless.
“Wow, he is something.” The other one agreed.
“Best pilot in the galaxy, in fact.” You chimed, heart surging with pride at your overly casual words. “I do think he’s seeing someone though, ladies.”
They both let out dramatic sighs. “Well, whoever they are, I hope they know how lucky they are.”
You chuckled, watching as his X-Wing pulled off into the air, doing a barrel roll right above the group. Now he was showing off. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t do something to you. “Oh she does.”
***
You ate lunch with Rey and Soren, welcoming a few of the new recruits to your table. Finn was busy with tours, too, training people to do various upkeep tasks around the base, keeping everything running smoothly. Poe was standing in the doorway and Rey looked up at him, then glanced at you, then back at him again.
“I think he’s trying to get your attention.” She chuckled, stabbing at the remains of her salad with a fork.
“Oh, is he?” You replied through a smile, still trying to keep up the act.
“I think he’s into you, you know. Finn and I talk about it sometimes.” She said, tone encouraging. “And he is his roommate. And his best friend.”
“Are you implying Finn has some information I should know?” You asked.
She laughed. “I very well may be. Honestly though, you should just go for it. I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that. May as well give it a shot.”
“Yeah.” You smiled at that. “Maybe I’ll go see what his deal is.”
“Good luck.” Rey said, watching as you crossed the room to where he was waiting in the doorway.
You met him with a cordial, professional smile. “Commander Dameron, is there something I can help you with?”
“Actually, yes, there is, Your Royal Highness.”
“Woah, busting out the big title? What’s the special occasion?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to take a walk down the hall with me.”
“Down the hall.” You said with a chuckle, pushing past him and leading him in that direction. Once you were out of earshot of the canteen, you muttered, “How romantic.”
“Oh I’ll show you romantic, Princess.” He replied, tugging open a closet door and grabbing your arm, pulling you inside. He locked the door with a careful click and then he was on you, calloused hands on your cheeks, lips fluid and hungry.
“Poe,” you mumbled into his lips, taken aback, heart revving like an engine.
“You wanna unzip it the rest of the way?” He asked, the rasp in his voice alone telling you he had been thinking about it all morning.
“That did something to you, huh?” You giggled into his mouth as he latched back on, his steps pushing until you hit the wall behind you.
“Sure did.” He agreed, releasing you and holding his arms open, orange jumpsuit there and ready for you, zipped nearly to the top. “Do it.”
“You sure?” You asked, raising a hand, wiggling your fingers with a coy smile on your face.
“Quit teasin’ me, baby.” He warned.
You bit back a laugh, focusing the zipper. You pinched your fingers together and pulled downwards, the zipper falling at your will without either of you touching it. He stared at it for a long moment, that  dangerous spark in his eyes again before he surged forward.
“That is…wow.” He murmured, fire behind his words. One hand cupped your cheek, the other holding your waist as he stepped closer, closer, closer, slotting himself between your legs.
You grabbed the sides of the jumpsuit, pulling it open, working it down his broad shoulders to reveal the thin white undershirt beneath. On top of it, the silver chain he always wore, a simple silver ring threaded through it. A ring you recognized as Shara’s.
“Rey and I had a…conversation…at lunch.” You said between kisses.
“Mmhmm, ‘bout what?” He asked, tilting your head and kissing down your neck. His other hand roamed lower, brushing across one of your wings, sending tingles up your arms.
You let out a shuttered breath, head tilting back against the wall. “She thinks…” another sigh escaped you as he continued to kiss the spot, jaw movements clouding your vision with stars, “you might be into me.”
His lips curled, poised over the vein on your neck. He paused for a moment. “Oh she does, does she?”
“Yeah, she has it on pretty good authority, apparently.” You said, daring to look down at him, at those dark, sultry eyes.
“Yeah, well, she’s not far off.” He breathed, going back in for your neck, determined to leave a mark in the short window of time you had before you and Soren were doing your ground perimeters. “I’m fucking obsessed with you, starlight.”
You moaned at his passioned ministrations on your neck, fingers threading through those lucious curls and giving a gentle tug. His hands hooked under your thighs and he hoisted you onto his hips, your back pressed against the wall of the tiny closet.
You met his eyes, breathless, wings fanned out behind you. “I can’t believe I get to have you, Poe Dameron.”
“Believe it.” He asserted, nose brushing against yours on the way to your lips. You cupped his cheeks with your hands, kissing all over his face before returning. “Kriff, I still wake up every day in disbelief that I get to do this in a closet with a Jedi Princess.”
“We won’t be in closets forever.” You whispered, eyes locking on his. It was a promise. Someday, everyone would know. It wouldn’t have to be a secret anymore.
He nodded, grinned. “Yeah, but…it is kinda thrilling, right?”
“Can’t argue with that.”
His eyes drifted down to your neck and he pulled a plush pink lip between his teeth, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Hey, uhhh…you have a turtleneck you can wear, right?”
Your jaw fell open. “You did not.”
“I might’ve.”
“You might’ve?” You shook your head. “Poe Dameron, what am I going to do with you?”
He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes half-lidded, lips ghosting across yours as he whispered, “More of this, I hope.”
***
Another week came and went. More recruits arrived, but things had hit something of a plateau. Still, your numbers were excellent, a far cry from the shell of a Resistance that had been left after Crait.
Poe was giving the new pilots a walk around the base, all of them suited up in their bright orange jumpsuits, having been fitted for them for the first time. You and Soren were out and about, dressed in your Jedi robes, lightsabers clipped to your belts. You must have just finished some training, he rationalized.
He noticed how some of the pilots in his group stared, watching the two of you with interest. He figured many of them had probably never seen a Jedi before. Hell, he hadn’t until Rey had moved those rocks from the mouth of the tunnel they’d all been trapped inside on that blasted salt planet.
“Is that one the Jedi Princess or the other Jedi?” one of the new pilots asked, voice hushed, as though you could hear his very thoughts at that distance.
“That one is the princess. You can tell by the wings.” Snap explained. “Poe’s good friends with her.”
Good friends. He thought to himself with a chuckle. Just like you and Karé are “good friends.”
“Is she single? Could you put in the good word?” another asked, earning elbows and enthusiastic hollers from his teammates.
Snap laughed out loud, glancing over at Poe, who could feel his ears burn. Cheeks, too.
“Oh, uhhh, Jedi actually aren’t allowed to fall in love.” He lied through a charming smile. “Believe me, I asked her myself. Breaks some ancient Jedi code or something. Sorry, fellas.”
The rookie pilots let out noises of disappointment and Poe couldn’t help but laugh to himself. There. That’d keep them off of you.
“They’re not, huh?” Snap asked, voice quiet enough that the others couldn’t hear. He motioned to you with his head. “Might want to tell her that.”
Snap was right. Poe glanced over and you were looking at him with that starry-eyed gaze. So lovesick he lost track of his footing, tripping right over BB-8, who had been rolling in front of him.
“Poe!”
Bee let out a series of disgruntled beeps and buzzes and he chuckled, embarrassed. He scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, Bee. You okay, buddy?”
Bee beeped up at you, seemingly unharmed. He was a sturdy little guy, after all.
“I agree, he needs to watch where he’s going.” You said, hands on your hips. You offered one, helping him to his feet. “You hear that, Dameron?”
“Loud and clear, your Highness.” He chuckled, brushing himself off.
“No serious damage?”
“Not that I can find.” Poe blew the hair from his eyes.
You reached up and plucked a single leaf from his curls, handing it to him. “There. For your collection.”
“Thanks, I’ll put it with the rest of ‘em.” He said with a smirk. Poe turned to the assembled rookies, who were murmuring amongst themselves. “Pilots, Princess (Y/N), Princess (Y/N), our new crop of pilots. Get acquainted with her. If you crash in the middle of a fight, she’s the one that’s gonna catch your X-Wing.”
“If it doesn’t blow up before that.” Snap added, earning a few unsettled laughs from the group.
It was a dangerous job. You’d always known that. You liked to think that you helped protect them when you could. When it was possible to. But Poe was always taking a risk when he climbed into that cockpit, even for something as simple as checking perimeters. He knew it, too, which is what made him so damn brave.
“Right. That.” Poe agreed with a bitter chuckle. “How was training?”
“Good. Making progress.” You said, shrugging. You and Soren hadn’t done anything groundbreaking, just sparring. But still, it felt good, like you were both making habits, challenging each other and learning little quirks of battle.
“Good. Good. Well, see ya around.” He gave your arm an awkward little touch.
You couldn’t help but laugh as you returned to Soren, who had a knowing look on his face. You knew then that he knew. That that Jedi intuition had finally clocked what was going on. But he didn’t say anything. Saved you the trouble of explaining yourself, why you were hiding it. 
The Resistance had enough going on. They didn’t need the drama of one of the Jedi entangled with their ace pilot. Especially if something went wrong.
Tags: @cap-lu20
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arendaes · 5 months ago
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June reading roundup! I didn't read quite as much as I hoping this month 🥲
A Tempest of Tea - I'm still...really conflicted over how I felt about this one. The premise was so interesting, and I really liked the cast of characters. There was also a twist involving the main character that I didn't see coming (I could just be dumb though) that I really enjoyed. But the pacing was very odd - the book is divided into three parts, but part one was over 50% of the book and pretty much everything interesting happened in parts two and three. There was also a scene near the end of the book I could tell was meant to be very emotional by the way it's written, but there wasn't enough buildup to it so it just fell really flat. There was also some weird King Arthur references in this, which the synopsis I read didn't even hint at so it kind of came out of left field for me. Ultimately I rated it a 3 out of 5; I bounced between 2.75 and 3.25 for its rating and I guess I'll wait and see what the second book is like. Maybe it'll retroactively make me change my rating on this one.
All Boys Aren't Blue - My nonfiction read for the month. It was very insightful and emotional; there were several times I teared up listening to the audiobook. George M. Johnson is very honest and upfront about the problems they've faced, both in relation to their race and their gender and sexuality, and I feel this is an excellent book for younger readers to read precisely because of how straightforward they are about this topics. It doesn't surprise me that it's one of the most challenged books in the country and that book-banners are trying so hard to get it taken out of schools, because it might do something they've failed to do and actually teach their children something about people different (or not so different) from them. Anyways, that by itself is reason enough to read it, and the fact that it's a great book is an even better one.
Most Ardently - This was a retelling of Pride & Prejudice, told from the perspective of Oliver Bennet. This was a delightful retelling; Oliver was so easy to get invested in as a protagonist and I found the alterations made to the story were fresh, exciting, and made sense within the context of the story that was being told. Gabe Cole Novoa's prose is very crisp and flows very nicely. The scenes between Oliver and his parents really stood out to me for being very emotional and well-done. Overall just a great book, 4.25/5.
Dragonfruit - This was another I was really looking forward to, and unlike a Tempest of Tea I do know for sure that I liked it. The worldbuilding in this one was engaging, and I loved the characters, especially the main character Hanalei. It was another were I felt the pacing was a bit off - the book started off strong, but then the middle lagged a little before finally picking up again at about 75% of the way through. I'm also not sure about the decision to market it as a "romantic fantasy" - the romance felt pretty sparse and again, didn't really come in to play until near the very end of the book. Besides that though, it was enjoyable, I'd probably read it again so 4/5.
Anyways, I'm going to spend the next few months pretty much reading whatever holds come in at the library, and continuing my re-read of the October Daye series. I have two books checked out right now; one I'm really looking forward to (Spells for Forgetting), and the other...I wasn't originally interested in but two reviewers I trust had opposite reactions to it so now I need to read it to find out what I think (Belladonna). And in case you think I forgot - yes, I am planning on reading Gideon the Ninth, I put it on hold at the library and it says I still have approximately a 3 week wait so...I'll get to it whenever I get it lol
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markerofthemidnight · 5 months ago
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lobcorp x hatchetfield au (i have no idea what hatchetfield is but it sounds cool)
Hey! I was just thinking of getting back to this earlier!
If you’re asking about the AU, honestly there’s not much to tell you. It’s just a weird AU where L Corp got into Hatchetfield and labeled some of its wackiest creatures as Abnormalities.
(Oh, and as for Hatchetfield itself: it’s a series of musicals on YouTube by Team Starkid. There’s three so far, as well as two seasons of a collection of short stories known as Nightmare Time, with a third on the way sooner or later.)
Speaking of Nightmare Time… I know it’s no Lord in Black, but how about my first Tool Abnormality for a nice palate cleanser?
T-09-30-A: “The Killer Track”
“We all live listening to an endless, horrid song, and the only way to make the noise stop is to reach your death.”
{Aberration of Singing Machine.}
The Abnormality takes the form of an old record player in the Containment Unit, dark brown-to-yellow and stained with a dark red substance.
Basic Information
-* Tool Abnormality *-
Tool Type: Single Use
Risk Classification: WAW
Log and Method
(1 Use)
The record within the player seems to be impossible to remove, no matter how hard we try. Any time someone tries to touch it or the player, it immediately starts up. The song it plays, although unpleasant to listen to, thankfully doesn’t last long.
Every time an employee uses this Abnormality, their Fortitude and Justice will slightly increase. However, their Prudence will slightly decrease.
(3 Uses)
It is discordant in a way beyond simple words, but employees who listened to it seemed more able to follow orders and focus on their work, so we decided it was safe for more people to use.
These effects stack with multiple uses, and carry on over multiple days.
(4 Uses)
However, as time passed, all those who listened to the song began frequently complaining that they could hear it again coming from certain electronics or people. Those incidents would get more and more violent as the days went by.
When the SP of an employee who had previously listened to The Killer Track reached 0, the sanity of every employee currently in the same department began to rapidly decline as well, as the song echoed throughout the halls. The same results occurred when they died.
(6 Uses)
Collateral damage became a regular occurrence during these events as its victims seemed like they’d do anything to make it stop. Eventually, all those who listened to it one-by-one died on the spot during one of these outbursts.
Once the song reached its end, all employees who had been in the same department as the original Agent when it started playing immediately died.
(8 Uses)
In a sense, I suppose that’s just the way things have always been. We all live listening to an endless, horrid song, and the only way to make the noise stop is to reach your death. Such is the burden of living.
When the energy meter was at approximately 50% during the fifth day since the employee had originally listened to the song, this effect would occur all by itself.
(Other Fan Abnormalities)
Yeah! There it is! Had to make a few adjustments to how it works as opposed to canon, but I like this!
I think seeing all your nuggets run around in a panic would really add to the chaos of listening to the Killer Track! (especially since it gives me MAJOR Second Trumpet vibes)
Now, let me be clear: How long the Killer Track lasts when it plays isn’t affected by the TT2 Protocol.
No matter how fast or slow the game is going, the song stays the same length and all your employees immediately die when it ends. In fact, speeding things up probably just makes things more chaotic since it gives your agents more time to beat each other to death.
Oh, and restoring an employee’s sanity before the track ends doesn’t do anything either. Once you listen to that song, you’ll be doomed to die once you hear it again, just like in canon.
I like how this came out. It’s like Behaviour Adjustment but crazier. Extremely dangerous to literally everyone, especially given how its effects seem positive until a point where you’ve already used it four times, but ultimately just another Tool and not something you have to get yourself involved with if you don’t want to.
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illegiblehandwriting1 · 2 years ago
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ok but is anyone ever going to talk about the fact that, to a Hero of Hyrule, the phrase "half-alive" or "half-dead" means that they're actually doing pretty okay? Like, just in terms of the games, too. At the beginning of most Zelda games, you typically have 3 hearts, right? So "half-dead" then would be 1.5 hearts, which isn't good.
But in an average playthrough, by the time you defeat the final boss and everything, you probably have, like, 13 hearts, if not more.
The AVERAGE HYLIAN would probably have the equivalent of, say, three to six hearts, right? Think about that for a second. That's an average Hylian. Don't come at me about this being wrong or something, it just makes sense to me. Normal zelda game, you start w/ three hearts. Usually you are a CHILD. SkSw you start with 6 and get full hearts of damage taken from a normal enemy. So 4-6 is a good ballpark for the average Hylian in my brain.
And a lot of Links have 13 hearts by the end. Or more. To them, "half-dead" is perfectly fine. They are completely functional. How many times have you looked at your health bar in-game, realized that you're at half-health, and brushed it off because you're not in danger? I don't know about you, but I do that all the time!! When I can't regenerate health, I don't freak out or anything, because I have at least 6 hearts, if not more. That's a lot.
That is the health (approximately) of an average Hylian.
Anyway I think we should all talk about that more. We should talk about the fact that over the course of their adventures, Link really just toughens up a whole ton, learns a lot of endurance, goes through a lot of physical exertion and comes out all the better for it. He fucking grows so much and I love him for it. He becomes at least twice as strong/enduring/etc as the average person in terms of in-game health and I think that's wonderful.
"Vibing" is a Link's version of "half-dead". (And we're not even going to get into the whole thing that every zelda player has gone through where you have a quarter-heart or a half-heart for a while and have to tough it out while you look for hearts, i could write another essay on Link's fucking spite-)
People don't fuck around when they say Link is OP, okay? They mean it.
Also yeah this came to me while writing S&A, what about it-
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moonflower91 · 1 month ago
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I don’t hate the Five and Lila ship.
I don’t. He’s at the point they get together, 24-25 ish man with a 70 year olds life experience and she’s approximately 42-44. The two things I did hate about it is how much he hated Diego, his brother, after they got back and how Lila cheated on her husband. I don’t eff with cheating.
AND, there’s the fact he killed her mom and dad. But with that new timeline somehow making them alive, I guess she was over that? I don’t know season 4 didn’t address a lot of important plot holes.
But let face it, it makes sense why they fell in love. They have a lot in common, namely probably being unsuitable for stable 9-5 domesticity, and being chaos junkies and being stone cold crazy people.
It’s fair to not like it, 100%, but given they were stuck together for so long, it tracks.
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shukakumoodboard · 11 months ago
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anon i hope you are able to find this because you asked my original blog and i’m trying to stealthily migrate so my irls can't find me dkgjhfkjl
answers below the cut <3
would you like some fandomy thoughts?
1. list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s) [which ofc im answering for gaalee]
the discord i'm in for it is the highlight of my day and forms approximately 65% of my social life! who knew you could hyperfixate on some gay ninjas and as a result, end up visiting people irl and getting christmas cards and making incredible friends all over the world? pretty sure i have standing invites to homes in at least 3 different countries rn. incredible
fic quality is fuckin'. superior. and i'm not saying that because i write, i'm saying that as a reader. it's a smallish fandom and yet there's folks who can write full-length novels like @sagemoderocklee and @the-moss-project, people who can write every possible trope and au greyson's georg @ghoste-catte and @urieskooki and so many others i couldn't list them all. it's beyond obvious that the authors who write the gaalees are SO passionate about them. writers i lov you evryday
seguing from that into art!?!? pleas i have a dragon hoard of fanart only for my fics and there's over 100 pieces. A HUNDRED ARE TIOYU GIKISDINDIGME. giving u all a kissy rn. also the way i can get on discord and get immediately smacked in the face with bespoke paneenis liike every day help. gheelpp don't look at me. i will save my money and commission every one of u if its the last htign i do
2. a headcanon you weren’t sure about at first but have come to like!
oho! ready for this one? i was initially not super on board with hairy!lee. what was i on actually. me, a Wrong, and now i will purposefully include it in every fic as a sign of penance for my sins
3. answered!
4. say something nice about a ship you don’t ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual’s OTP, etc)
those who know me know that i strictly see leesaku as a brOTP, like those dudes are buddies to me. but that being said, i think leesaku as a romantic pairing is far healthier for sakura than her canon partner. lee is capable of so much love and forgiveness and they do parallel each other so much as the like... "underdog"/non-gifted member of their respective teams. she deserves love and support and understanding and lee would be genuinely ideal for it.
5. something you see in fics a lot and love
sunans (and team gai) being multilingual. oml one of my fave headcanons. you cannot tell me these different countries with different isolated villages are all casually speaking the same language when in big chunks of nart they didn't even like. get along properly. i loooove the concept of a shinobi common tongue and regional languages. further on that same thing, given team gai is pretty chinese-coded, i think it makes sense that they'd also be speaking another langauge, whether taught by gai or just because of their own independent histories or whatever. @sagemoderocklee has some truly stunning worldbuilding and it where i got my love for this hc from <3
6. something you see in art a lot and love
h-h-h-hHEIGHT DIFFERENCEEEEEEE
ok joking aside i refuse to believe gaara made it past like 5'3" that man did not sleep for his whole adolescence. conversely lee was probably on the Optimum Macros and that healthy eating would 100% contribute to maximum height gains etc. that man deserves to be 6 feet tall, that's my opinion and im right
thank you so much for the opportunity to gush about my blorbos <3
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analoghorrorexplained · 1 year ago
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Analog Horror Review: UrbanSPOOK
[ Warning, this post will contain spoilers for the work of media mentioned in the title. This review will also contain mentions of upsetting topics such as the SA and SA of a minor. Please read at your own risk]
It has been awhile since I have made an analog horror review since, well, there have not been many series I have seen that has caught my eye. But, while I am not really “dazzled” by the newer content being put out there (minus Vita Carnis). But... despite me not really finding much of what is being released right now interesting... I found myself unable to not say anything about the series above. 
UrbanSPOOK is an analog horror series detailing the exploits of an extremely violent serial killer who leaves paintings at the scenes of his crimes. That is it. The horror from this series is actually a little different than what we are used to since instead of something paranormal or extraordinary happening all of what we are seeing happen is caused by a presumably normal (although extremely deranged) man with no other extraordinary traits. In a way, this makes urbanSPOOK more realistic than some other series. Things like this could very well happen (and probably are happening) in our real world. This is more or less the extent of the plot. Each video is set up to be a VHS recap of the crimes of this serial killer recounting in detail how this serial killer murdered these people in the most violent way they could. And in each video, the paintings left behind by this person are shown. 
I watched the entire series which was not hard to do since each video was under 5 minutes long. And I did not like what I saw.
For one, as many others have said, UrbanSPOOK does not really use the actual genre of analog horror that well. While I can tell the creator put some serious effort in those paintings along with research involving the methods of killing: the series itself is more reminiscent of a slideshow. There is no reason this could not have been any other type of horror or even just a series of twitter posts providing backstories for these paintings. These videos dont seem like PSAs since they do not state what organization they originate from or any other specifics like the dates these murders happened, approximate locations, or any other details that really give us a time or a place. With the analog format, you are supposed to be using analog formats of media to tell a story. This can take the form of a channel hijacking, old TV ads, old children's shows, PSAs, or radio broadcasts (among others). While the channel says the videos we are being shown are from supposedly “old VHS tapes”, they do not even show the old VHS grain or distortions most tapes have and, again, lack a lot of the information we already went over. There is no time frame for events other than “2 months ago” or “4 months ago” nor is there a location, or even any organizations we can trace things back to.
If this is supposed to be a PI or a family member of a victim raising awareness, why are they detailing the killings in such crippling detail when the focus should be on catching the guy doing this? If this is meant for police eyes only (which would explain the graphicness) why is there a number at the end of the video? If this was made by the killer, what would be the point in doing this when they are already leaving behind paintings at the scene? And if this is a news network: all of the above is still true but why is there no secondary voiceover? Why are they showing the paintings when those paintings do not help identify the victims and are evidence? Why are no specific locations being mentioned other than “the lighthouse” or “a mine”. At least with series like Gemini Home, Vita Carnis, Local 58, and Mandela, we have some sort of base location we get to be familiar with. We know why the story is being presented in analog format. It makes sense because the story is set in a time where that is the only format available. We have clues. This isnt giving us anything other than the phone number. And the phone number only tells us that the series takes place in Louisiana, near New Orleans, and is sometimes during of after 2001 since that's when that area code was introduced. And even then, DVDs were introduced in 1996 and surpassed the sale of tapes by 2003. This isnt to say people did not use VHS after 2001 but by 2008 everything was mostly switched over to the DVD format. 
My point is: the story does not make a lot of sense in the format it is. Either the creator is having this take place in the early 2000s which... I guess can work but then begs the question of the phone number. But if its before then: the phone number itself is a massive continuity error. 
That is not the only issue I have with the series though.
Sexual assault, themes of genital mutilation, and pedophilia are also pretty common or at least are openly displayed in the series. Grant it, these are traits the killer is shown to possess. These are not things being inherently endorsed or promoted. However, what I do take issue with is the fact that the series lingers a little bit too long on describing these acts and the violence that results from them and not really much else. While the series creator has stated multiple times on now-deleted tweets that he does not view himself as “having limits” in regards to his series and makes this mostly for shock value: I do not think this should excuse just how haphazardly the subject of SA is handled. Almost every episode of the series has something that is either blatantly rape or can be interpreted as a form of rape somewhere in the episode. And a lot of these scenes also involve children, mutilation, or the abuse of animals as well. This is in almost EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. And once again, these are all described in sickening detail. 
Other than being “gross and disturbing” it serves no narrative purpose just like it being on a VHS doesn't. If this was supposed to make us hate the villain: we already have gotten to that point I think. If anything, we have gone well past it. But what also bothers me is that these themes also pop up in the creator's other work. This same issue is a near-constant thing with the other work they put out. I am not accusing the creator of anything, lets be clear on that, but it is not a good look to admit you make content for shock value, have SA be a main theme in your work, and then make a lot of art also about SA and the SA of kids while also selling the painting your in-world serial killer made of a SAed murdered child as merch. 
If you want to address some dark real-world subjects, do that, other places have (for example the SCP foundation or Mandela). But doing that and describing the most graphic rape scene you can think of are not the same thing. Not only is it lazy, it just makes your series into torture porn. It serves little purpose. And when that is a majority of what you talk about: I am inclined to think you have more of a darker connection with that topic beyond using it to simply advance your art. Again, this is not an accusation, just an observation from what is public. 
Overall, between the fact this series fails to really live up to what “analog horror” actually is and lacks any story beyond “here is this guy, he kills people in really violent ways, he leaves paintings behind, and did I mention he does fucked up stuff with their genitals” and it does not progress beyond that. It is edge-fodder without a coherent story or point for existing beyond being disturbing. The only thing that makes this series interesting is the fact its a person doing this and not a monster but after recent episodes even that is questionable. The fact that a teenager who spends a little bit too much time on Liveleak could have written this tells me its not worth following further. The horror here is the fact that something this seemingly loved by other people is this terrible in terms of execution and its ability to convey a point other than “look, a mangled human body I may or may not have SAed, be afraid”. 
Over all I give this a “For the love of god try harder, and no not in that way/10″. While the art is well made, I have no idea why this series gets praise when it fumbles this badly at everything it tries to do. This could have been so good, why is it so bad?
And analog horror community, get better standards if this is the “new standard” of the genre. This is laughable. 
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yujeong · 4 months ago
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Question from the Fanfic Writers Ask Game:
11. What’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? Also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?
I'm extremaly curious to know what type of fandom research people do and learn about their discoveries.
Hiiii! Thank you for taking interest in this, I appreciate you sending me the ask ❤️ Hmm, I have a weird relationship with research: I always feel I do 1. No research at all and 2. Not enough, when I acknowledge to myself I had to look up at least SOME things for my fics. In general, I am ignorant about a LOT of stuff, so research feels daunting and scary and even when I discover what I want to, I don't know how to incorporate that into my stories or if it's even correct information. I feel super self-conscious about it, which is why I normally don't write fics that require knowledge I'm not at all familiar with. Cowardly, sure, but the potential mistakes are too many for me to take that risk. (I'm learning though! The next fic I'll post will include some Thai cultural stuff related to Dharma that I had to thoroughly study about. I can only hope I won't screw it up.) Self-deprecation aside, I'm going to share some of the stuff I had to research for my fics - posted or not - to help people understand what I mean:
1. I had to look up various medical facts about stabbing (how deadly it is, how much time someone needs to heal etc), due to a scene that involved one in The Knight's Pawn, 2. I looked up videos of Muay Thai sparring matches in order to be able to write a sparring match in The Knight's Pawn - as well as see the differences from western boxing. Muay Thai is also something I've researched for another fic and to properly understand Pete as a character, 3. I had to look up sooo many chess terms for The Knight's Pawn, specifically for the chapter titles and summaries. Fun fact, the title of the fic makes no sense in chess; I told my irl friend who plays chess as an amateur about it and he proceeded to lose his mind lmao, 4. This will sound silly probably, but I studied Bangkok's map in order to be able to figure out a driving path for a trip down memory lane. I specifically wanted to figure out the distance between the main and minor family compounds (fun fact, it's approximately 15 minutes by car and 1 hour via public transport). I also looked up Lumphini Park and it's how I found out about dragon lizards! Very cool creatures, I wouldn't go near one ever, though, 5. I don't know if this one counts, but for the things you can(not) change, I had to watch Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox around 5 times in order to be able to portray the parallels correctly haha, 6. Since just a mission was based on ApoBuild's Bvlgari event, I looked up the venue it took place in, which is Icon Siam near Chao Phraya River, one of the most famous shopping malls in Bangkok, 7. For To Consume and Be Consumed's 1st chapter I had to... um... look up if it's possible for someone to not get an erection even if both the prostate and the penis are stimulated for a long period of time. The results suggested it is, so I tried to not stress over it too much 😅 The reception of the chapter was a lot better than I anticipated too, so I was happy with it, 8. Now, to start off about the fics that haven’t been posted yet and to remain in the spirit of the horny, I've looked up about autoerotic asphyxiation, if it's safe to use ice cream during sex (it isn't), if it's safe to have sex when someone is sick (it depends), the effects of GHB and how damaging a human bite can be (a lot if it's not treated immediately due to the bacteria in our mouths), 9. In the same realm, I've done a LOT of studying about La Pietà, the famous sculpture by our boy Michelangelo, so much so that for a while I couldn't escape it - I was seeing it everywhere. I'll keep the reasons for doing such research hidden for now, but it does involve smut xoxo, 10. I've only scratched the surface for this one, but I have begun studying about chronic pain for a post-canon VP fic I want to write. It doesn't involve smut and I don't think it will, but you never know, 11. Again, idk if it counts, but I've read Uzumaki for a NonWhite/TeeWhite fic I want to write one day, in order to draw parallels and whatnot. I'm very into parallels in case you haven't noticed haha, 12. Last, but certainly not least, the most difficult thing I've been researching and will probably never stop researching is Buddhism. To truly get Pete, you need to understand even the basics of Dharma and there are just so many things I don't know about it. Baby steps, but I'm getting there.
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alpaca-clouds · 2 years ago
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Castlevania Season 4
Currently seeing a lot of people watching Castlevania for the first time and being as confused as everyone else once was about season 4 and certain story developments.
Spoilers - Obviously.
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The story decisions in question basically show up in all the storylines:
Why is Alucard just okay with everything about having talked to Greta for approximately two hours?
What the fuck is the deal with the entire Targoviste storyline, that kinda goes nowhere?
Why are Hector and Lenore just fine after everything that she did in the end of season 3?
Why was St. Germain so easily corrupted? (And why does his love interest not even get a name or voice lines?)
Why does Carmilla so suddenly go off the deep end?
Why don't the four storylines never meet up, ending the story without the main characters (that is the group of Hector and Isaac, vs the trio) ever meeting?
Why is Varney?
And I mean, we are never going to fully know. But chances are good, that Warren Ellis had thought he would get five seasons to tell his story - instead of only four. Now, we never got confirmation for that, but there are a lot of points speaking for it - most notably just that the last season feels rushed af.
Now, a big question is, why it got then cut down into four seasons. There is a lot of speculation. For once there is of course all the shit coming out about Warren Ellis at the time. So maybe Netflix wanted to cut him off, before all of that came out. There is also the fact, that season 4 went into production in 2020 and we all know what happened in 2020. So chances are, that the show might well have been impacted by the pandemic. There is also the fact, that Ellis was allegedly in general hard to work with for some people. Another fact. And, lastly, it might just have been a Netflix thing, even though we are getting Nocturne. (You know... *cries in Inside Job and DeadEnd*)
There is also the fact, that a lot of folks harrassed Netflix and the creators about everything season 3. Especially the Alucard scene and what happened to Hector. And if we look at Rise of Skywalker, we know it would not have been the first and only time that fans harassing a studio got them to backpaddle on story decisions.
But I think a lot of writing decisions for the most part can be explained with simple Story Economy under the idea that Ellis had if not calculated for five seasons, then at least for more episodes in that last season.
I have often heard people talk about "But why are Alucard, Trevor and Sypha even there?", because it is very clear that for the most parts season 3 and 4 are very much the story of Hector, Isaac and the Styria sisters. With everything else kinda feeling more like an obligation. (Even though, unpopular opinion: I do like both the Alucard and the Lindenfeld storylines in season 3.) And this is very noticable in season 4 of course. The entire Varney thing comes out of nowhere. St. Germain's Face-Heel-Turn comes out of nowhere. Death comes out of nowhere.
The simple answer is, of course, that the main trio is the main trio and it would probably not have been within the contract with Netflix or Konami or whoever to write them out. Not to mention that, yes, Alucard is probably half the reason some viewers are there. Hence, they needed a storyline.
Now, again, I am mostly just speculating. But I do assume that at some point the plan has been to pitch Carmilla against the main characters. It would not have been surprising to me, if the original plan was to have her slowly go off the deep end in season 4, have her make a deal with Death and maybe give her a redemption arc in season 5 (because she feels like a too well developed character for the development in season 4 being the original plan).
But given the "end it with season 4" and "main trio has to do stuff, because main trio" requirements that had probably have to be met, a lot of decisions make sense.
Why does Alucard get over his trauma within hours of meeting Greta? Well, because there was no time for him to have a proper recovery arc, before he had to be there for a finale to happen. Maybe, too, because of the harassment and some fans not wanting to see Alucard in a position of weakness.
What is the deal with Targoviste? Mostly just to give Trevor and Sypha something to do, before they could join for the finale. Also to introduce Varney.
Why is Varney? Because there was no character, who would believably get into "making a deal with Death" within just one season. Hence he was just a tool to bring Death into the plot. (Which kinda makes sense, given Death is a main antagonist in several of the games.)
Why are Hector and Lenore just fine? Because here, too, there was no time for a proper recovery arc. Also, maybe, because a lot of people got angry, too, about Hector being put into the position of weakness. So it was just swept aside.
Why does Carmilla go off the deep end so quickly? Because there was no time for a proper corruption arc either. But she needed to be the bad guy for that storyline, because otherwise there would not have been a proper finale for the entire Styria storyline, as it was unable to reconnect to the Wallachia storyline.
And why is St. Germain so easily corrupted? I would assume because some executive decision had been made that he had to be put into the season.
The thing is really, that if you just look at it logically, the plot points kinda make sense - but because they are so rushed, they do not feel right. And of course this does kinda ruin a lot of it, because the ending is what matters a lot in stories.
Now, personally, I am mostly fine with where all the arcs end. I personally am fine with the ending of building a village around the castle. I am fine with Isaac taking over Styria. I am fine with Dracula and Lisa coming back from the dead. And yes, I am fine with Lenore dying. But it does feel rushed and I do not like how the plot gets there.
Most of all, I wished that there was a bit more emotional fallout from season 3. I definitely do not like how Alucard is just suddenly fine - or how Hector and Lenore are suddenly fine. It does feel emotionally... unfullfilling. *sighs*
But nothing to do about it now.
What I am getting at with this ramble: I do not think that Ellis (who is a horrible human being, but also a pretty good writer) has suddenly forgotten how to write stuff. I mostly just think that there was a lot of Drama going on behind the scenes. Partly because Ellis is a bad human, but also because of pandemic being pandemic.
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