#this makes no sense im just word vomiting

[wallofshrek]

on my mondays off i go do laundry at the laundromat i went to with my aunt when i was in middle school. and then i go get lunch at the dairy queen i worked at in high school. i look at the cooler tht my cousin, a friend, and i stole an ice cream cake from when i went to pick up my last check. and i just wonder how and why i came back to this town all these years later, thinking id left forever, but just 4 years later, im back.

u know?

[fettiowi]

thinking about pink diamond and spinel again imagine you lost your best friend. you lost them because of something youve done. the one person who understood you was hurt and taken away by your family who belittles and constantly mistreats and misunderstand you then your family turns around and makes you a new friend. someone to keep you busy so you dont bother them. this person is very clearly molded after the way that they see you: immature, loud, naive, inconsiderate. they're a personification of everything wrong with how your family treats you. you didnt ask for them. you wanted your friend, not this doll created out of misunderstanding who you are and your desires. you still have some fun with them, but it feels like they set you back. a constant reminder of how your family views you as immature and childish. you wanna show your family you can handle yourself you wanna grow up. you wanna show that you are not that imaginary mirror theyve created for you. you wanna leave that life behind and create the future you truly wanted for yourself. and so, to finally move you, you leave that behind. you put the personifications of the created assumptions about you behind and finally grow and move on except... they were never just a mirror. they were never just an expensive toy to spoil you. they were never just a personification of everything they saw in you. they were their own person. someone with their own thoughts and feelings. someone who never knew any of this. someone who loved and was loyal. someone who then thought you disliked them as a person.someone who then grew into someone who nearly destroyed everything youve loved because of what youve done. but you never knew . you were already gone. you never got to meet them. they never got to meet you.

[starstruckloves]

taking a moment to appreciate standoffish f/os that actually have the biggest soft spot for you. and no, im not talking about being mean or anything, just more so maybe nervous or hesitant. wether it be that they aren’t used to love this healthy or just general excitement and the slight awkwardness of doing new things in a relationship such as kissing or holding hands, they tend to be just a bit standoffish but they love you dearly.

you may ask to give them a hug and they just sheepishly turn their head away, trying to seem indifferent as they agree. but when they actually hug you, they can’t get enough, pulling you closer to them and snuggling in your warmth. even if they are a bit nervous, they still love you so much. they just aren’t the best at showing it 🫶

[three-of-pentacles]

I saw this template on Pinterest and thought it'd be fun to fill out w my guyes. Ramblings under the cut :]

A lot of these are pretty self explanatory but I wanted to talk abt some of them cuz I'm crazy

In my own personal world they met in Sneznhaya, met and were actually friendly for a bit before they found out who each other was, they fought, and have had a rivalry ever since. (Sort of. It's mostly Childe wanting a rematch and Diluc hating the Fatui) So it's kind of a slow burn but also they've connected already and all of this is just them trying to pretend they didn't while simultaneously killing themselves over being in love. They're so incredibly normal <3

They stay together forever because they both die at like 30 /j Fr though I just don't think they'd split up after all the hoops they'd have to jump through to have a chance together. They'd make it work even if it killed them (it probably will)

I like the dichotomy of Diluc dying over not hating a harbinger and Childe just having fun with it. I am by no means a Childe expert (I'm a Diluc enjoyer through and through I'm sorry Childe fans) but I feel like he'd probably be less insane about that aspect of the relationship. Especially in comparison to Diluc

It's so difficult for me to voice my thoughts on them because they just circle my mind constantly and I can't formulate words when it comes to them. They just exist in my mind as a blob that never leaves <///3

I will absolutely ramble about them terribly again soon though no one can stop me

[burningfunobject]

Complete word vomit but like what if viktor decides that whatever the 'arcane' is too dangerous or comes at too high a cost and starts The Glorious Evolution from there?

Maybe he feels responsible for whatever the weird magic orb thingys are and decides that all of this mess (not just with the hex core but also with zaun and piltover) was due to human error so now he thinks he has to help people by getting rid of their 'flaws' like they're ability to make the kinds of mistakes he made in s1.

We know he already doesn't want the hex core to be around anymore so why would he suddenly become infatuated with it?? Like sure maybe it has an influence over him, but I seriously doubt it would last all season

Plus viktors whole Thing is helping people why would he stick with the hex core and all it's bs if it means either vaporising people or shimmer? Viktor is smart that's like the first thing we know about him I feel like he'd find a way out of the hex core's thrall

Idk I just don't really want to watch hex core bs for like a quarter of next season, I'll still probably like it tho

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I think one of the reasons that kaladin can deal with actively killing as a soldier but not with accidentally (passively) letting someone die as a surgeon is the sense of failure (plus of course the obvious protection aspect and the whole me-vs-them mentality he only really starts to question when Shin joins bridge four, and he starts interacting fairly regularly with a light-eyes he can genuinely respect). dalinar himself said that he "love(s) taking responsibility for things", which is especially clear in the way he still can't quite blame amaram for tien's demise (because he feels like this is his failure, too).

like we can see in the first book that the deaths of the people he swore to protect weigh on him not only because of the dying people per se, but also (and I would argue: especially) because of his FAILURE to keep them alive. he always makes this connection to himself, thinks of their demise in relation to HIS own person and HIS role and HIS failure (cue the whole "stormfather cursed me specifically" thing). like, besides tien and the bridgemen (who we know because they are active current characters), can we truly say much of anything about the people he failed to protect in the past? the only thing we really know is how HE feels about it and how it messed HIM up. but the people themselves??

kaladin just has insane main character syndrome, and everything happening to him (first dark-eyed to have the rank of a light-eyed, one of the only surgebinders, guy able to survive multiple fights with actual shardbearers, etc etc) do the opposite of helping him dissuade the notion. I feel like I lost the plot of my own post. Kal is honorable and a good guy and everything but he is also pretty self-centered? which I actually find really cool because many times people who do objectively good actions are still kind of demonized if they don't do it for the "right" reasons (aka purely 1000% selflessness), but Kal explicitly starts helping the bridgemen not because he actually cares about them but because he needs a reason to not commit suicide. and when he loses bridgemen (especially in the beginning where he barely knows them) he always immediately thinks back to the other people he FAILED to save. he isn't devastated because that person in particular died, he is upset because he is very bad at dealing with his own failures and also terrified that the wretch will use this to lure him back onto the ledge. i mean, he loathes failure so much he was resigned to never see his parents again (who he clearly loves a lot and who he knows would welcome him back with open arms; it's his own shame that he can't confront)

he helps people primarily to try to make up for the failures of the past, an attempt to dissuade the guilt and shame eating him alive 24/7 (which of course never works because guilt is a very unreasonable emotion and as long as he doesn't change his mindset and confronts his own beliefs about himself and the world it will never go away.)

"do the fire sprin create the flames or are they attracted by them?" of course syl was compelled to follow kaladin around. dude keeps actively (even if semi-unconsciously) putting himself into the same role and situation over and over again in the hopes that if he can only succeed one time it will somehow redeem him for his past failures. literally every single thing Kal does and thinks and believes is rooted in the fact that he blames himself for tien's demise. he needs to somehow redeem himself in order to be able to live with himself but at the same time he can never be redeemed because letting tien die is an unforgivable crime and yet he needs to make it up somehow because the wretch is always in the back of his mind and he's actually terrified of it but he is equally scared of actually somehow managing to get over this sense of guilt and failure because wouldn't forgiving himself mean he thinks tien is less important than his own stupid (and, in his mind, deserved) feelings?

that guy is so not over his brother's death it actually isn't funny anymore 💀 please get that dude some fucking therapy 😭😭

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

[dylanlenivyy]

thinking about an au where the wolves infected directly by silas have a connection to eliza, and she can influence the things they do.

once the next chain starts by silas' wolves, that connection is broken.

also, theyd form a small pack and just. be extremely dangerous to the counselors and the hackett family. oh, you wanna kill silas? you gotta get through caleb hackett and dylan lenivy first.

calebs wolf being more loyal to silas than his own family, and dylans being more loyal to silas than the counselors.

everyone thinking silas is the actual leader of the pack when its instead eliza, who may or may not be wolfy herself.

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

tbh i don’t think lyanna and sansa share many (if any) parallels, and in many aspects, lyanna serves as a narrative foil to sansa. robert baratheon directly connected his unfulfilled betrothal with lyanna to joffrey and sansa’s betrothal, and we all know how that went. sansa, who was fooled by the boy she was betrothed to, refused to look beyond the surface until it was too late, vs lyanna, who was able to see beyond the surface and took actions to prevent her fate. lyanna became her own knight in shining armor and played with swords, while sansa is thee princess in the tower who wanted everything to be pretty. lyanna, the girl with the sword and shield who protected the weak, put herself in bodily harm for someone she barely knew, which caused the mad king to go after her, vs sansa, the girl who sided with cersei, a character that parallels the mad king, and joffrey, a cruel prince, ultimately dooming innocents and disconnecting herself from her stark identity in the process. it’s true that sansa has been learning to look beyond the surface and extend kindness to the ‘others,’ but how does this actually parallel lyanna? how is having the kindness trait a parallel? it’s also true that sansa does eventually end up protecting others, but i’m once again not sure if i’d call that a true parallel. and imo, sansa is an idealist, which is something i love about her, but i think lyanna was a realist who believed in chivalry and honor despite it all. as i see it, sansa will believe in chivalry and honor despite it all as well, but they’re still foils due to their starkly different starting points. and though it’s true that they are both connected to songs, sansa is a singer who sings to people who ask while lyanna isn’t stated to be one. instead, lyanna had a relationship with a famous singer, which again places them as foils. i’ve digressed quite a bit here and there, so to end things off, i want to say that while both disappeared with ‘bael’ figures, i consider them foils here as well because lyanna was doomed, but i pray and believe that sansa is not. and for god’s sake, let’s hope petyr baelish never touches sansa again. let’s also hope that sansa returns to winterfell alive, even if she gets there as a living Stone. lyanna wasn’t so lucky, returning dead and all.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[top10statuesthatcriedblood]

fob yuri this fob yuri that. where is fully fem paramore. yurimore. parayuri

[kiisuuumii]

@kiisuuumii (even lucifer was a star)

[lightgriffinsect]

actually Psychic is morally the worst psychomancer. Fear genuinely doesn't know why anything they do could be wrong. They don't understand or even know that they should understand.

Meanwhile Psi has had almost two centuries to learn and grow as a person. Yes, he was taken in and raised by someone with twisted morals, but I don't think Psychic is a blind follower, fully convinced that he's doing The Right Thing (by society's standards, anyway).

He understands that by extension his own thoughts and actions have also become twisted and selfish. He's grown to understand right from wrong, and how his perspective on that differs from a normal person's. But to Psychic, serving his master counts for more good than actually doing good. That's the only thing that matters. Psychic's loyalty isn't blind, it's deliberate. He doesn't believe himself to have anyone's best interests at heart except for his own, and his master's.

Fear's confused, scared, and in pain, and it's alone. It hasn't been given a chance to learn. Psychic has, and he just doesn't care.

[jinseulss]

I really don't think people who think jinki would want to stop being a singer truly ever listened to him lol

[sanjisboyfie]

┊ ⋆˚  about this blog !

— first and foremost, this is a male reader blog !!! i only write male reader inserts, the usage of she/her pronouns will never, ever be applied to any of my works that involve an insertion of yourself into the scenario. that being said, i don't really think i can/will enforce that those that read my work are only those that use he/him prns. so let's say, if those who use she/her pronouns decide to read my work, i won't purge them off of this page (i don't think i spend that much time on here to even do that) and burn them at the stake. all i very POLITELY ask is that: you don't interact malignantly with me or my posts. i don't tag my work "x fem reader", only "x male reader" and "x reader" so there shouldn't be any worries of my work "cluttering" (<- lmmmffaaoooooo) your tags of "x female reader"

— of course this ^ can be subject to change and become stricter if i start gaining negative attention from fem-alligned readers. so NOT SAYING IT'S SET IN STONE because that how i feel about this just right now.

— i plan on using this blog to just broaden the reach of one of my fanfics (keep safe) with the occasional posting of a smau/modern!au post every now and then.

— every now and then i might post a yandere drabble, oneshot, headcanon, etc just wanted to put that here since i know that it's not everyone cup of tea and wanted to disclaim this. some of the yandere headcanons already exist on here, but i think (i hope) i tagged it all appropiately....(i hope)

alright, that's all thank you for reading <3 jaime